#which does eventually doom dave by landing him on that mission!!!

[dihalect]

in my wolf 359 homestuck au, doug eiffel crucially still exists, and still lives near houston in the 2000s. i'm choosing to believe that kid-dave bumps into him at least a few times.

[dukereviewsxtra]

Duke Reviews Xtra: The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Another Duke Reviews Xtra Where We Continue Our Look At Disney...

Last Sunday On Duke Reviews, I Reviewed Disney's Fantasia Which Features Mickey As The Sorcerer's Apprentice Well, Today We're Going To Switch Mickey With The Voice Of Hiccup From How To Train Your Dragon In Jerry Bruckheimer's Version Of The Sorcerer's Apprentice...

This Film Stars Nicholas Cage As Balthazar Blake, Who Is A Sorcerer In Modern Day Manhattan That Fights Against The Forces Of Evil In Particular, His Arch Nemesis And Former Partner, Maxim Horvath (Played By Doc Ock) While Searching For The Prime Merlinean, The Person Who Will Inherit Merlin's Powers...

This Turns Out To Be Dave Stutler (Played By Jay Baruchel) A Physics Student Who Balthazar Takes As His Apprentice, Giving Dave A Crash Course In The Art And Science Of Magic And Sorcery So They Can Stop Horvath And Morgana Le Fay From Raising The Souls Of Her Evil Dead Servants So They Can Take Over The World...

Will Dave And Balthazar Stop Them?

Let's Find Out As We Watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice...

The Movie Starts With An Intro By Ian McShane...

Balthazar Spends The Ages Trying To Find The Prime Merlinean With No Child Being Successful Until The Year 2000...

When A 10 Year Old Named Dave Stutler (Played By Ben Stiller's Son From Night At The Museum) Encounters Balthazar In His Antique Store, After Straying Away From His Class Field Trip. Giving Dave The Dragon Figurine, It Comes To Life And Forms A Ring On Dave's Finger, Revealing Dave To Be The Prime Merlinean...

But When Balthazar Goes To Get A Book Of Spells For Dave, Dave Accidentally Knocks Over The Grimhold, Releasing Horvath From His Prison...

(Start At 2:34)

Found By His Classmates And Teacher, Dave Is Ridiculed By His Classmates When He Tells Them What He Saw Only For The Shop To Be Completely Empty, But Either Way Dave Keeps The Ring...

Fast Forwarding 20 Years Later, Dave Is Now A Physics Student At NYU Where He Meets His Childhood Crush, Becky Barnes (Played By Teresa Palmer)...

No, Not Bucky Barnes, Becky Barnes Though The Possibility Of Relation Can Be Questioned...

With His Feelings For Her Quickly Coming Back, He Repairs The Transmitting Mast Of The Radio Station She Works At After It Is Struck By Lightning. Released From The Urn After 10 Years, Horvath And Balthazar Escape To Continue Their Missions With Horvath Being The First To Get To Dave..

(Start At 0:38)

Landing On Top Of The Chrysler Building, Dave Refuses To Help Balthazar As He's Been Under Psychiatric Care Since They First Met But Saying That Once They Get The Grimhold, He'll Leave, Dave Decides To Help By Taking Balthazar To Chinatown Where It Has Been Located While Giving Dave Sorcery 101...

But When They Get There They Discover That Horvath Has The Grimhold And He Has Unleashed One Of The Evil Sorcerers That Was Inside Of It With This One Being A Chinese Warlock Named Sun-Lok, Who Fights Balthazar Until It Ends Up On The Streets Of Chinatown...

(End At 2:47)

Changing His Mind After Defeating Sun-Lok, Dave Becomes Balthazar's Apprentice, Giving Him A Book That Holds The History Of Sorcery As Dave Agrees To Take On The Responsibility Of Being His Apprentice...

Meanwhile, Horvath Goes To Visit A Current Evil Sorcerer Named Drake Stone, Who Is A Criss Angel Type Magician (Played By Doctor Doom From Fan4stic) To Ask For His Help Against Balthazar And Dave...

Taking A Break On A Bench, Balthazar And Dave On A Bench Across From Becky's Radio Station. Figuring Out That Dave Likes Her, Balthazar Is Somewhat Negative On The Relationship Stating That Love Is Not Good For A Sorcerer...

But Dave Follows Her To A Subway Station Where A Mugger Robs Them At Gunpoint, Stealing Becky's Grandmother's Bracelet But Chasing After The Mugger, Dave Uses His Magic To Knock Him Out And Return Becky's Stuff, Impressing Her...

The Next Day, Horvath Plans To Use The Satellite Dishes In The Financial District When The Spell Is Cast By Morgana, While Balthazar Continues Training Dave Only To Be Interrupted By Becky Who Comes Over For Dave To Tutor Her In Physics. Despite Trying To Put A Dampener On Their Relationship, Balthazar Leaves..

Showing Off His Tesla Coils, Dave Uses Them To Make Musical Sounds From Stevie Wonder's Superstition...

To OneRepublic...

So He Can Impress Becky...

It's Not Quite Can You Feel The Love Tonight But...It Works...

But As Becky And Dave Start Somewhat Of A Relationship, Dave Gets Encountered In The Bathroom By Stone And Horvath, Who Ask Dave Where The Grimhold Is After Telling Him The Truth That Veronica Is Inside Of The Grimhold...

Saved By Balthazar, Who Traps Horvath Inside Of A Mirror Temporarily And Knocks Out Stone, Dave Tells Him That He's Tired Of The Lies And Wants To Know The Truth Which Leads Balthazar To Tell Dave The Entire Backstory Again So That Dave Will Know Everything..

Getting Ready For His Date, Dave Attempts To Clean Up The Lab But Frustrated At The Mess, Dave Brings A Broom To Life Which Leads To A Recreation Of The Sorcerer's Apprentice Scene From Fantasia...

(Start At 0:25)

And Yes, I Know That Some People Complained That "They F-ed This Up This Is In No Way As Good As Fantasia!" And While That's True I Still Like This Scene For What It Is, The Actual Sorcerer's Apprentice Scene With Hiccup From How To Train Your Dragon...

Chastising Dave For Using Magic As A Shortcut, Dave And Balthazar Get Into A Big Fight Which Leads Dave To Storm Out In Anger...

Seeing Becky With Her Friends, Dave Leaves In Defeat Feeling Like He Doesn't Belong But Following Him To The Rooftop Where Balthazar Had Taken Him, Dave Is About To Throw Away The Ring, But She Stops Him, Saying That Nothing Is Ruined And That She Really Cares About Him...

Disguised As Dave, Drake Traps Balthazar So Horvath Can Search The Lab To Find The Grimhold As Horvath Reveals That The Reason He Turned Evil Was Because He Was Jealous Of Veronica Choosing Balthazar Over Him...

But Freeing Himself Balthazar Fights Horvath And Almost Loses Until The Real Dave Arrives To Save Him But Unfortunately Drake And Horvath Manage To Find The Grimhold And Leave With It...

Following Them In Balthazar's Car In A Chase That Ends Up In The Mirror Dimension From Doctor Strange, Horvath And Drake Still Get Away By Turning A Person Into A Veronica Look Alike...

Knowing That Balthazar Let Horvath Go For That Reason, Balthazar Finally Comes Clean That Veronica Was His One True Love Which Leads Dave To Decide That They Are Going To Get Veronica Out Of The Grimhold And Destroy Morgana Forever...

Back At Drake's Apartment, Drake Wonders How They're Going To Open The Last 2 Shells Of The Grimhold Only For Horvath To Use A Parasite Spell To Steal Drake's Powers And Life Force...

So He Can Open The Next Shell Which Releases Abigail Williams, A Witch From The Salem Witch Trials Who Kidnaps Becky At The Radio Station But Unfortunately After That, Horvath Uses The Parasite Spell On Her So He Can Eventually Free Morgana...

I Guess It Just Comes Down To...

Arriving At Drake's Apartment For The Grimhold, Balthazar Gets Caught In A Persian Rug Quick Sand Trap While Dave Gets The Grimhold Only For Horvath To Enter With Becky With His Cane On Her Throat Stating To Give Him The Ring And The Grimhold Or Becky Dies...

Realizing He Has No Other Option, Dave Does Just That Only For Horvath To Fire A Energy Bolt At Becky And Dave Which They Dodge And Flee As Balthazar Escapes The Quick Sand Trap...

Apologizing To Balthazar For Failing, He Accepts Saying That He Would Have Done The Same Thing Before Flying Away On A Giant Metal Eagle To Becky's Shock...

Dave Tries Dropping Off Becky But She Won't Have It As She's Involved Now So They Come Up With A Plan To Use Dave's Tesla Coils Strapped To Balthazar's Car To Defeat Morgana As Horvath Unleashes Morgana From The Grimhold In Battery Park...

Finding Them, Balthazar Fights Horvath Off As He Raises The Bull Market Bull Statue To Life So It Can Chase Balthazar. Believing Himself To Be Victorious, Dave Arrives To Halt Horvath's Celebration By Using Tesla Coils To Destroy His Cane, Defeating Him And The Bull..

But As That Happens, Becky Disrupts The Spell By Moving One Of The Satellites Which Leaves Balthazar To Suck Morgana's Soul Into His Body, Freeing Veronica...

With Balthazar Not Breathing, Dave Uses His Magic To Resuscitate Him So He'll Live Happily Ever After With Veronica As Becky Arrives For Her And Dave To Live Happily Ever After By Taking The Giant Eagle To Paris...

We Get An End Credits Scene Which Reveals That Horvath Will Return In A Sequel That Will Never Happen Thanks To Everyone, Who Didn't Like This Film...

And That's The Sorcerer's Apprentice And How Could Anyone Not Like This Movie?

The Story Is Great, The Action Scenes Are Amazing, The Cast Was Good, I Just Honestly Enjoyed It As Much As I Enjoyed The National Treasurer Movies Who's Director Jon Turtletaub Directed This..

You Know Some People Consider This As One Of The Disney Reboots But I Seriously Don't And The People That Do Are Idiots Only Question I Have Is Why Did This Movie Not Do Great?, Is It Because There Wasn't A Nicholas Cage Freak Out In It?

Newsflash! We Do Not Need A Nicholas Cage Freak Out In Every Movie He's In!

The First National Treasurer Movie Didn't Have A Nicholas Cage Freak Out And Look How Well That Did At The Box Office Where The Second One Did And Look How Bad That One Ended Up, I Still Like The Second National Treasurer Movie And I'll See The Thrid One When And If It Comes Out But Still...

Either Way I Say Don't Listen To The Haters And See This Movie...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off

[fantroll-purgatory]

@nitrodax233

Hello again, it took me a while to choose between the last two of my original 11 trolls but since you asked what the Seer would do on the last post, here she is.

World: Alternia

Name: Tahila Meroba

Tahila is a variant of the Australian name Talia which stems from the name of a town in South Australia, perhaps meaning “near water” in an Australian Aboriginal language.

Meroba is based on the name Merob, a form of the name Merab which means “abundant” in Hebrew. This is the name of a daughter of Saul in the Old Testament.

I *do* notice that a lot of your trolls have something to do with the elements, so if you want to make a unifying theme maybe you could shore up a little more on that? Age: ~7 sweeps

Theme/Story: I’m not sure if many of the trolls I make really have a Theme. But with their story, Tahila began in the caverns until a wriggler escaped. They gave chase and eventually caught it more dead than alive. They eventually distanced herself from the caverns as time wore on and eventually heard about her ancestor, The FINISHER, while perusing a library. While on her scouting mission to find out what happened to them, she ran into Arrian trying to find out more about his ancestor, The SCRIBBLER. Not too long before she enters the game, she finds an artifact left from her ancestor, a pocket watch called the Temporus Noctem. One of the functions of the watch was if you set it to a certain amount of time, when the timer is up, there will be a guaranteed death of at least one person. This comes in handy later in the session for it is a bit of a clusterfuck. As with how she stops Haneul, she finds out that it was the provoking from Serena and Lutifi which drove him mad. Thus as she stands over the body of Haneul, she goes back and gives herself two letters concerning Serena and Lutifi. This eventually gets the Sylph of Hope involved and with a bit of understanding and airing things out, the crisis is averted with a feelings jam of sorts.

Hmmmm. I think this mostly tracks, but Seers are a very passive class and I don’t know that a Seer of Time would necessarily be able to time travel! However, I can still think of a way for your character to fulfill her objective if we look back at how Rose integrated with her dreamself from a doomed timeline. You could set it up so that her “time travel” is actually a calculated rewind in which she does not physically return to a previous time, but mentally; everyone else experiences the timeline as normal, but Tahlia’s dreamself wakes earlier, with patchy knowledge of what comes to pass in the doomed one. This way, she can act on that info without creating another doomed self.

Review Goals: Since it’s been a while since I checked everything, A once over would be great just to see if everything fits together.

Strife Specibus: x2 Axe kind: Just two one-handed axes

Fetch Modus: Time Capsule: For each item you captchalogue, you’ll be assigned a date in which that item can be retrieved. It can be any point in time in the future, as long as it isn’t less than a day from then.

Ooooh I like this a LOT for a Time player

Blood Color: Jade

Lunar Sway: Prospit Title: Seer of Time

Symbol and Meaning: When I first designed her, she was a jade gone anon with a more bronze looking sign. Then it was you guys I believe who inspired me to switch up her sign to make it look a bit more jade-like.

Handle: telegnosisTempore I could never settle with a handle that fit with her…

Hey, since she’s a seer, what about just nostreDame [ND]?

Quirk: It is mostly something like this (An exerpt from when she faces Regula),

Tahila: Vhat do you mean?

Tahila: Despite your aggressions, I don’t think you knoVV Vho you are messing Vith.

Special Abilities: Nothing really of note, just a curious troll

Lusus/Guardian: Though I am not very well versed in homesuck, Im not sure what would constitute for a jade lusus…

Yeah, that’s always a tricky needle to thread. We’ve only seen Kanaya, whose Mother Grub lusus was practically unprecedented, and the cloistered jades in the Friendsim, who...I am not sure if cloistering is common? I’ll let you have your pick; she could have a jade lusus of any type from the caverns, or she could just be raised communally with other jades.

Interests:  Lots of reading, the inner machinations of machines, photography, and a hint of decoration

Personality:  With the suffocating limits of the caverns, she has been having trouble embracing the idea of fate especially since she caught wind of her ancestor. With this and her dreading her final days she has attempted to control her environment adopting a somewhat perfectionist nature on how things are done. With this baggage, She carries a surprisingly large bag of optimism to try and combat the idea of futility.

Land: For a placeholder land, it was the Land of Crystals and Gears. I’m not sure if it holds well with her.

Hmmmmm. Since she’s into photography (much like Dave), we can use *that* as the flavoring for her Land and go with Land of Floodlights and Shutters? She could use the two to broadcast clacks-style messages across the planet.

Thanks for showing me your troll! Hope this all helped.

-TR

[hucc]

HUCC v Occasional Casuals Saturday 9th June 2018 Hamstead Heath

Match report by Himalayan Correspondent Nick Taylor

Curry goat cricket anyone?

Curry goat cricket: West Indian term for a friendly, low stakes game in which the food to be consumed off field, is more important than the result on it. A curry goat match is the Windies' equivalent to the English Beer match

The occasional casuals as I had been warned felt that cricket was an excuse to have a ‘few’ beers whilst playing a friendly game of cricket with their pals. Notorious for their kit bags being the orange Sainsbury’s variety with the contents of a six pack and a box. The last two encounters had been close affairs a tie and a victory, the sun was out we were playing in civilisation not rural England it was going to be fun, even if we had to resort to potentially approaching it as if were time for curried goat.

Spurred by the three victories in 2017 and a frustrating draw first up in 2018, enthusiasm was high.  Ol coming back from a year out called an early arrival for some apparently needed practice to blow of the cob webs. The outcome was seven Umprires arriving at least 30 mins before the agreed time. Unheard of. It also transpired that Matt and Gary organised had a private tuition session during the week. Not that practice had ever done us any good!?!

The squad was a mix of old and new, we had the welcome return of the official original Umpire, indeed Rob is squad No.1. The team looked a strong bowling outfit this week Ol, Manny, Jack, Simon, the new kid on the block Harry, the old kid that was a chip off the old block, Gary Aubin, we were looking solid with the ball.

Matt presented Anthony with the match ball, ball was a generous description, it must have been stitched my an arthritic blind man, square more than egg shape. We offered up a 30 over ball as the next best thing. 

Anthony won the toss and as is skip’s common custom we opted to bat first.  The skipper of the casuals would have also opted to field first as they celebrated the fact that they would rather have a second innings that leant itself to boozing rather that fielding. It appeared their skipper had lubricated himself already. Anthony and Dave open, 35 overs a piece, we are off.

Manny and I officiated until drinks, it was a steady start letting their most economical and dangerous bowler, who ended with 7 overs no wickets for 14, do his thing. After 10 overs we 35 without loss. By drinks Anthony had clubbed a few to the boundary and indeed brought up another well deserved 50 just before the break, by which point without loss we were 85 after 17. 

Drinks in this game did mean drinks and an extended break saw the Casuals open a variety of beverages, the World Cup branded Kronenberg was a favourite. They are however seasoned professionals and a few cold ones may indeed help, much like a game of pool always need a few before the shots come off. With the Hampstead Heath buzz from the cafe and the sun beaming down Harry and I decided to follow suit, by the looks of things were weren’t getting a bat today and a Corona doesnt really count. Does it?

Anthony was ably abetted by Dave who in his own mould saw off the good and played the bad, another opening umpire innings eventually culminating in his second highest total for the umps. We need an archivist adjudication.

Anthony was looking, and by his own admission feeling good and as the Parliament Hill spectators settled through the gates and onto the boundary (in the pub at the end of the game they turned out to be the self appointed HUCC Ultras) skip holed out in the deep for 64. One follows two as is so oft the case and Dave was bowled for 28. Well played. We were 100 odd for 2.

Simon got a good one bowled and Rob came in to shore up an end whilst Jack came in on a mission to connect with what ever he threw his bat at. Rob slightly unfortunate to test the arm of one of their more able fielders who hadn’t touched a drop by the look of it, as it came in rather fast and accurate from just past square leg umpire to be run out. Jack burned out taking 20 off about 10 balls with 4 boundaries, bowled.

Ol was in next with what looked like virgin new pads, bought last season just before the injury and not had much of a run out. They took him and us to the end of the innings 11 not out, with your reporter frantically running with Ol to get us to 162 for 5.

Tea was a rather liquid affair for the opposition but they did provide several filled to the brim bread bags full of various interesting sandwiches, some pork pies and home made brownies. No curried goat.

As ever the slip cordon of doom assembled for catching practice as a warm up with Matt getting his hands warm and ready for action, and there was a lot of action behind the stumps to come. 

Ol opened up and considering he hadn’t turned his arm apart from earlier in the net warm up was metronomic from the off starting with a couple of maidens. Supported by Si at the other end. Ol had new wheels for the season and they were warming up nicely. Manny came on first change and after a bout of self deprecation for a couple of wides, his tracking was back and on the money.

We kept it tight in the field as a unit and they crept to an almost equivalent score to ours at the same point, after 9 overs they 32 without loss.

Then the tide started to turn and more chances came, a tough chance to Matt driving to his right behind the stumps. Matt had been practicing in the week and just needed another chance. Ol got their opener first, bowled. Manny then took their third man for a duck caught behind off the edge to Matt. You could tell behind Matt’s grill there was hunger for more and more there was.  

Ol bowled their second opener and then not wanted to turn the gas off his new wheels Anthony kept him on to bowl through. 7 overs 2 for 13, nee bad sir.

Harry came on after Ol having bowled a few in the first game, started very strongly on a pitch that was quite hard to get any variation he managed to make one rear up into their very competent looking number four and off the splice it looped to Matt well bowled Harry victim number two for Matt. He could taste blood. 4 down for 50 in the 16th.

Manny carried on and was causing all sorts of issues and chances came nearly every ball. Their middle order batsman swinging away not sure whether in frustration or lubrication but Manny spotted it and next ball fuller, straight, bowled. 61 for 5

Jack was next up and a few smiles and warm drunken words had already been exchanged between their captain who was looking very rosey red from sun and Kronenberg. We asked him when we saw Jack coming in next whether he wanted a lid and he said well only if he’s going to bowl beamers, we repeated do you want a lid?

Sure enough next ball he only just managed to duck out of the way, a few choice slurred words came back at us behind the stumps, we were only concerned for his welfare and that we weren’t confident he could weave out the way. He stuck around for a bit until Jack caught his leading edge and boom another for Matt behind. Jack then bowled another beaut wrapped a guys toes plumb in front. Their score book went a bit wobbly towards the end when i think they had lost a bit of interest or the use of their hands to write. They were 80-odd for 7. 

Jack then got his third with a super forward driving caught with the assistance of forearms, stomach, legs and the chin of Manny. Would have gone upstairs but we all saw close in that it hadn’t touched the floor and the batsman walked.

Anthony then turned to his seasoned professional who had been practicing with Matt in the week. It game plan time. A brief word between the two and they trot back to their positions. Plan. Execute. Reward. Garry ‘I love you Dad’ Aubin comes steaming in, lands one truly in the right spot, makes the batsman play, finds the edge we all go up in unison. 1st ball, boom Gary has a wicket and Matt has 4 for the match. Practice will now become compulsory.

We wrap it up next over with a few looseners from your reporter and then one that is straight to the either drunk or non cricketer at number 11 who lets it hit the wicket. All out for 98.

It wasn’t a curry goat game but there was plenty of good humoured cricket and beer. I wouldn’t say we won because they was pissed but it helped.

Unbeaten 2018.

Anthony 64

Jack 3/11 

Hackney Umpire Man of the Match: Jack Lewis

Up the Umpires!