#which do you prefer?? what is your inherent nature?? IDK I am probably going for knowledge and/or the queen for her.

[prismbearer]

This feels like one of those activities for babies where they test their values.

[coldgoldlazarus]

.

On one hand, it's kinda ironic that I don't like YuzuMei of Citrus, because I hold not only the position that "sisters kissing is hot" but more importantly, "maybe incest between consenting siblings/cousins in the same age range isn't that bad actually and shouldn't be conflated with actual pedophilia?" And yet, I massively prefer HaruYuzu and the main pairing just grosses me out, not because they're sisters but because of everything else about their dynamic.

On paper, I should be all about it, but in practice I just do not like Mei's vibes or how Actually Uncomfortable she makes Yuzu feel on a regular basis, and how the attraction between them feels very much based on the Suspension Bridge Effect from Mei's frequent sexual harassment. Which yeah, I realize is her paying her own trauma forward, and it apparently eventually tapers off after the point where I stopped reading, but it still feels like a pretty shitty origin for their romance. "Hey kids, you wanna know how your mother and I got together? She all-but-outright raped me until I started liking it."

But on further thought, I think it's also partially because I have a more lenient view on certain types of incest, that my bouncing off of Citrus actually makes perfect sense. Because even if it is on a surface level presenting this as romantic, there's still an implicit undercurrent here (intentional or not) of agreement with the idea that all incest is inherently toxic and unhealthy. The fact that the taboo nature of their relationship alone isn't seen as enough to carry an engaging conflict, but it has to be presented as Steamy And Torrid and Softcore-Hypersexual as possible.

It carries somewhat similar vibes for me as like, those old lesbian pulp novels that could have all the gay romance and sex they wanted, as long as one or both of the women got killed off by the end as editorial punishment for their transgressions. Like, a different approach, but still that same vibe of fetishizing something while still ultimately condemning it in the same breath. With those pulp novels it was a conscious decision, whereas with Citrus it feels more like a result of unconscious biases creeping in and affecting the presentation, but the end impression I get is the same. "Sure you can have the gay, but it's still a sin so they have to die at the end!" and "Sure you can have incest, but it's still a sin so it can only come from sexual abuse and manipulation!"

(And don't even get me started on fucking Oreimo, ugh.)

Idk where I'm going with this, just needed to get that off my chest, even knowing most people who might see it will probably not respond well.

EDIT: Like, I guess what I'm getting at, is that as much as I am in support of problematic media getting to exist and not be censored away, there is also some stuff that I disagree with being considered problematic in the first place? And that seeps into the way it is portrayed, even in media that's ostensibly taking a positive approach to it like Citrus. The way incest and pedophilia are lumped together even in leftist circles doesn't sit right with me, when everything wrong with irl cases of the first ultimately stems from overlap with the second, or otherwise is just plain old abuse with the incest aspect being incidental.

[house-of-laminations]

It's the "demon brothers having sharp horns/wings/tails" anon again (Can I just use 🌌?)

And I have hosted exchange students before. The cultural exchange is very important, especially towards the beginning of the exchange. I like to imagine that Satan and Lucifer are the ones who do a lot of research but Lucifer just forgets a lot and is more interested in getting you acclimated to demon culture instead of giving you a more "human-world-esque" environment. And Satan's information is outdated or just straight-up wrong, like he read some shitpost and just thought "yes, this is definitely correct."

Mammon and Asmo probably visit the human world more than most, so it would come more naturally for them. Asmo would very slowly acclimate you to demon culture but Mammon would just one day drop it all on you.

Levi probably uses what he learns from anime so it's a 50/50 chance it'll be accurate, and sometimes he does something that just makes both of you uncomfortable, and you have to explain that no, Levi, people don't just threaten each other and point weapons at each other to show care, stop watching Assassination Classroom.

Beel and Belphie... have no clue. Beel means well, but he just doesn't get it. You don't want to accept this dead creature as proof of my affections and that I'd be a good partner? What do you mean humans just give gifts because they care, you're sure you don't prefer that demon over me? Belphie would just get passive aggressive and stops warming your side of the bed (which you didn't really notice that he did but you certainly notice now that he's stopped) or stops swapping pillows with you, and just gives you the cold shoulder until you eventually cave and ask Lucifer what's wrong.

Idk, I think it's cute and fascinating.

Of course you can be 🌌! 💛

Oooh yes I love this topic! Cultural exchange is so interesting because part of it is acknowledging what is inherent in your own culture - the things that aren't shared that you maybe assume they are.

Things like accepting a gift from a demon at face value with nothing more than gratitude, forgoing any understanding of the meanings behind both the gift itself and the implications of giving. Mammon would be so confused and noisy if he gave the equivalent of a demonic 'courtship' gift and only received a 'thank you, how sweet!'

And little things too like humans jumping over cracks in the ground, but demons deliberately stepping on them (a difference in old wives tales, or maybe an affirmation that this is a line they can cross); demons exchanging favors that constantly build and get more and more extravagant (because when your 'food' economy runs on bartering of souls and favors in kind, its customary to prove your capability even to your friends) ; saying bless you when you sneeze (yeah this one is self explanatory).

side note as an australian I am very used to coming across people who say 'ah Aussie? shrimp on the barbie hey? wanna get a fosters?' when they find out and they never seem to believe me when I tell them we don't say that we don't say shrimp we say prawns and you don't normally grill them and literally no one drinks fosters here. I can imagine Satan talking like he's dialogue straight out of the KJV bible and MC going "why are you talking like that?" but he's adamant on sticking to it because he wants MC to be comfortable dammit.

Just [clenches fist] the nuances of cultural exchange.

[kanohivolitakk]

 Thinking about this image and how much I feel this when it comes to Bionicle and my creation and consumption of transformative content in this fandom, especially when it comes as someone who prefers the more secondary heroic characters, the villains and the few neutral characters the series has over the main heroes (who I do like, just don’t have as big brainrot for).

OK let me explain.

So, lately I been thinking a lot about Greg’s writing style as well as how he engaged with the fandom. And one thing I have in particular paid attention to is the following: Bionicle is the type of story where plot is it’s driving force (alongside its worldbuilding) and Greg is the type of writer who writes characters in the service of the plot, rather than plot in service of the characters.

Now, I don’t think this writing style is inherently bad, and it works for Bionicle since as said, Bionicle is a plot-driven series where the big appealis uncovering the world and numerous webs of conflict and drama and discord. I’m not also saying that Bionicle doesn’t have compelling characters or that some of those characters don’t have emotionally compelling arcs. Bionicle is an action-figure focused toyline so of course the characters have to be fun/interesting/likeable and there are many characters whose arcs people have either enjoyed, liked their writing or resonated with such as Takua or Vakama for instance. I’m also not saying Greg is incapable of writing emotional moments either (I mean, everyone in this fandom cried when Matoro died soo.)

What I am trying to say is the following: 1) Bionicle is an action-fantasy-science fiction-war drama aimed at kids which main focus is telling a complex story in a complex universe. Despite that the characters are (relatively) simple in the grand scheme of things. 2) Greg has said at least on a few occasions he uses characters as tools in story, and uses characters whenever they need to appear in the story. For Greg a lot of the time it feels he uses characters for what they can do in the story rather than who they are. 3)Greg often said that he thinks about details only if “they’re important to the story”. This is true to characters and their emotional struggles as well. 4) The fans love to overthink and speculate stuff that Greg probably never thought of because it wasn’t important for him. 5) A lot of the time Bionicle characters (especially the non main hero ones) only have their emotional struggles implied or skirted from.

Because of Gregs writing style and the way he is more interested in exploring the world/plot rather than the characters emotional struggles, it feels that the characters sometimes feel..undercooked. That they aren’t allowed to go through their emotional struggles in a way that feels natural. Heck, at times the emotional struggles feel accidental rather than intentional on Greg’s front (see one of the reasons Nidhiki is my favorite character is because his characterization just has that “deep rooted self-haterd/haterd towards everything else issues” yet when asked about this Greg just went very “idk I guess he’s dead so doesn’t matter”).

And just, this is a thing I like about the Bionicle fandom because like, we can add emotional struggles and stuff there where it was implied. Fandoms in general (transformative fandom in particular) tends to often focus on characters above any other aspect of storytelling, and as such, we can analyze, headcanon and breathe life into characters in a canon that was more focused on plot and world like Bionicle. It does help that unlike a lot of plot/world-focused series (which tend to have rather shallow and generic casts), the characters in Bionicle actually do have a lot of potential to be explored and dissected, no matter how clearly you can see them not being the focus of the story. So just interesting characters who don’t get as much of emotional caharsis/focus as they deserve equals desire of wanting to write meta/headcanons/fic where those characters issues are addressed and touched on. Because unlike Greg, I (and other ppl in the fandom as well9 do care about stuff like this.

Of course there are exceptions (see Vakama for instance). In addition, not every character needs to have emotional struggles: one thing I really like about Lhikan for instance is that he was able to keep hisidealism despite everything that happened to him.

But yeah. This is just my few cnets as a very vocal villain liker who also likes emotional catharsis. Idk how ppl who like main toa teams feel about this so I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject and whether or not me liking villains/secondary characters colors my view on this subject. Again keep in mind that the writer of this meta had their favorite character basically been characterized as “just a selfish bastard” according to Greg despite the text arguably suggesting otherwise so I am biased a f.

[rocketfool]

fawks: 16, 46, 58, 64 + kass: 10, 15, 57, 69 (IF THIS IS TOO MANY, feel free to only choose a handful lmaoooo... i am just curious!!!)

FAWKS

16. what are their feelings on the people who raised them?

it’s extremely Complicated!!! I think fawks does love her family, but feels like there’s a lot of baggage there--she never felt like she was good enough for her mom and that a lot of her love was conditional on fawks’ ability to achieve and in particular to meet expectations on how she should act as a member of her well-known family. becoming a professor in the shadow of her parents’ illustrious academic careers only exacerbated that situation. I think some of the tension with her mom is based on the fact they didn’t really understand each other and that they both stopped trying after a certain point, but there is still the possibility they could reconcile someday since none of that distance came out of a place of true anger. 

fawks’ relationship with her dad is more straightforward, as her dad was much more supportive of her interests and made an effort to ensure she could pursue them. at the same time, though, he was always pulled between her and her mom, and I think fawks also never really allowed herself to be super open with him because she was afraid whose side he’d take if she ever did burn bridges permanently. 

46. what do they deprive themself of?

HMMMMM not surprising but she deprives herself of emotional intimacy, and probably even of a connection with her own feelings. she’s become very self-reliant as a coping strategy, but that does also mean she avoids dwelling on her negative emotions and tries to distance herself from them. which is! not neccessarily a healthy way to deal with them! I think she’s getting better at...trying to wrestle with them and being more open/trusting with people on her feelings, but it is still very hard for her. 

58. what do they think their role in the party is? what is their role in actuality?

LMAO I think at her best fawks likes to think of herself as one of the idea people and a leader of sorts for that reason, since she has such a strong perspective and is also more than a little full of herself. in reality though, I think maybe she more contributes to like...spontaneity and a willingness to be curious and inquisitive, to follow your passions and the joy they bring you. idk what exact ~role that is, but she definitely is all about being true to yourself and I think encourages the party to be too just based on her own enthusiasm for it. 

64. do they value mercy or justice more?

JUSTICE FOR SURE. her way of thinking is very black and white. I think she has the capacity to be moved towards mercy/forgiveness, but she’s much more likely to think people deserve the consequences they are given (which has made the whole situation with the black dragon weigh on her more--she thinks she deserves some type of punishment for her mistake). 

KASS

10. how often do they lie? what situations cause them to be dishonest?

why would you ask kass, a spy, this? :) 

LMAO but in seriousness, kass does of course have a more free-wheeling approach to telling the truth than most. he has no problem with lying to achieve his own ends, particularly when he believes it’s for something important/some type of mission. he also does not neccessarily have an issue with telling white lies if he believes it will help someone (or at the very least, not do them any ill). 

THAT ALL BEING SAID, I think he holds himself to a pretty high standard of being truthful with people when he has no reason not to be. kass greatly values honesty given the nature of his profession, and he tries to be genuine with both friends/allies and strangers when he has the luxury of doing so. the only time he’d lie to someone close to him is if he thought it would protect them--he definitely does not have an inherent desire to deceive or manipulate anyone, and I think at his heart definitely prefers to engage openly with people. 

15. do they trust their party? why or why not?

not to get TOO into the weeds about his ~complicated morality since we covered that with the last question, but I don’t think think trust is very straightforward with kass. he’s used to watching his own back and holds most people at arms’ length because true friends in the zhents are hard to come by. he trusts the party insomuch as he doesn’t have any reason to believe they’d betray him at the present moment, or cut and run if things went south (since they very much did the session he almost got killed LOL). but I don’t think he trusts that this will always be the case, even though he likes the party a lot. the one exception is probably pierce, given their history--like obviously he understands pierce wouldn’t stand for him messing with the party for zhent business (like that’s valid lmao), but he trusts implicitly that pierce will stick with him through hell, since pierce already has proven he will.

57. what makes them angry?

kass is very hard to make genuinely angry! his temper has a long fuse, and when he does get upset, it’s usually a burst of emotion that he quickly gets over once the situation has been addressed. one thing that will always make him furious though, given his past, is the issue of wealth disparity (and particularly its effects on children). he generally has no love for nobles for this reason. kass also hates cruel people and bullies, which has definitely made working for the zhentarim...difficult at times. 

69. how would they describe their party members?

gwen: “gwen is one of my very favorite people I’ve met recently! she is very tenacious, to have come to the underdark with us for the first time on this mission and kept going even with everything we’ve faced. I think she does not give herself enough credit for how strong she truly is. she seems to be weighed down by her past, and I hope she can leave it behind with time--she seems freer when she does what she wants to do, rather than what is expected of her. she is also incredibly smart--I stand by the ratapult being a work of true genius.” 

jolene: “jolene is, I think, a bit more than she likes to project. she is definitely bold and a force to be reckoned with when she puts her mind to something, and both a skilled fighter and musician, which is truly enviable! but I think she tries to hide that her passion comes from a place of caring deeply about her friends like pierce...but I suppose I could be wrong, as we have not known each other for too long. what I do know? her leather jacket is far superior to any other I’ve seen, as is much of her style. oh also! I don’t understand her relationship with the void, but I have a healthy respect for it.” 

pierce: “ahhh, it is hard to come up with the best words to describe pierce. he would probably hate to hear me sing his praises, but he is definitely one of the most true men I have ever known--he is the rare breed that tries to always do what’s right for no reason but because it’s the right thing to do, who chooses what is good over what is easy. and he has been that way even since we were kids. I don’t think he values himself enough for that, and I’d like to see him one day really realize his own worth. I do want to know more about what happened to him in the time since we lost contact--he has always been an anxious person, but I wonder if something happened during those years that is still affecting him...also, on a lighter note, he died and came back as a halfling? which I am still wrapping my head around.” 

[lasercruz]

@quarterdollar​ fuck you and im sorry that i took so long to answer and i hope that im mostly coherent because i am. very tired as im typing this

1: Full name Nicky Jackie Marie Cruz !!

2: Age 21

3: 3 Fears Mold, tall heights if I’m not secured (like, I’m not scared of rollercoaster heights but I’m scared of like, cliffs), and balloons esp balloon animals

4: 3 things I love I love so many things uhh hh h. Jjba, adventure zone, and my friendssss 💞

I know turn ons/offs aren’t inherently sexual but i never know what to say for them so im skipping them :0

7: My best friend you 🥺🥺

8: Sexual orientation bi

9: My best first date ive never really been on a actual date :0

10: How tall am I 5′3

11: What do I miss being with my friends physically and just watching stuff or goofing around on the floor 😭

12: What time were I born 11:02pm

13: Favourite color Dark blues

14: Do I have a crush yes shh

15: Favourite quote there so much sappy quotes that are on uquizzes a lot that i like a lot the first that comes to mind is “ You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.” and so on and also “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

16: Favourite place As far as just physically and not like people or other stuff that comes with with a place, I miss VT campus a lot tbh more than I thought I would. To pick a more specific place, the gazebo at the duck pond cause its where I’d go if I wanted to be alone or like if my roommate was sleeping or working and i didnt want to worry about being quite and it was always super peaceful

17: Favourite food I dont really have One favorite food it just depends what I’m in the mood for but my go to answer for favorite food category wise is either chinese or seafood

18: Do I use sarcasm Depends who I’m with ?? Generally no not often but if im close with someone and just goofin yeah

19: What am I listening to right now My love song playlist. its my go to thing to listen to cause my playlist with all my music has so much on it that i end up skipping half the songs until i find something im in the mood for and this one has a lot less that i end up skipping. the current song its on is day without you by keep for cheap

20: First thing I notice in new person It depends on the person like if they have something that stands out about them, thats what I tend to notice but like. How they carry themself i guess ? cause i feel like thats a easy way to get a read on somebody before talking to them

21: Shoe size 5 mens / 7 womans

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Naturally dark brown but currently dyed black with rainbow bangs

24: Favourite style of clothing this question is on so many ask games and quizzes and I never know how to answer it cause i feel like i dont really have one specific style,, I like colorful and fun stuff i guess ?

25: Ever done a prank call?  No and if you prank call a place of business youre annoying. i used to answer phones at work and we didn’t get them super often but GOD i hate prank callers

27: Meaning behind my URL emu is an old nickname and what i mainly went by until i settled on Nicky and this. is my blog.

28: Favourite movie Baby driver !!

29: Favourite song my go to answer for this is community gardens by the scary jokes

30: Favourite band THE SCARY JOKES

31: How I feel right now sleeby,,,,

32: Someone I love i love , my friendz ,, 🥺🥰

33: My current relationship status single ✌️

34: My relationship with my parents im close to my mom but i dont really get along with my dad ,

35: Favourite holiday Christmas !

36: Tattoos and piercing i have no tattoos, 3 piercings in each ear (2 on each earlobe and 1 on the top on each side)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I want a interrobang on my wrist and an Aquarius symbol on my ankle and MAYBE the joestar birthmark, i wouldn’t mind more ear piercings and i want a septum piercing but ive seen videos of them getting done and they make me squirm i dont know if id go through with it

38: The reason I joined Tumblr sdklgkjgh i had a my little pony roleplay blog before i made my personal account

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we’re good friends !!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? no not regularly at least

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no

42: When did I last hold hands? my mom tried to hold my hand when i was half asleep on the couch the other day but like i was so out of it so like it was more our fingers together and the rest of my hand just loosely dangling so if that doesnt count, you

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? i give myself about 2 hours if im doing full makeup but thats purposefully longer than i need so i dont have to worry about rushing and i can relax and take my time

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i only shave them if they’re gonna be showing or if the Urge to be Smooth comes over me

45: Where am I right now? my room at home on my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably Kaylie cause she doesn’t drink and i assume if im drunk with other friends there she’d be the only sober one

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable, if i have it too loud i cant think so the only time i  have my music loud is if im doing nothing and want to Not Think

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Ye

49: Am I excited for anything? short term im excited for the ai crushes all banks stream tonight and long term im excited to move into our apartment 

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? no im not a tell everything to someone type of person .

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? i smile most of the time like, at work (before we wore masks) id always be smiling to look nice and like. just in general if i want to Not Look Unhappy or whatever

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? my mom probably like, yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? ive never kissed any1     .

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?  nope i don’t think i really trust easily so like this doesnt rlly happen,

55: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up late cause i was up late last night so ive been tired all day I dont like the feeling

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? language barriers aside itd be super cool to meet hirohiko araki

57: What do I think about most? Whatever media im currently most into so right now adventure zone and magnus archives

58: What’s my strangest talent? umm i dunno im kinda flexable i guess ? not like ~contortionist~ level but like enough that i can freak people out sometimes

59: Do I have any strange phobias? i mentioned balloons as a fear in an eariler question so yeah that but im a lot better about it than i used to be

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? in front tbh

61: What was the last lie I told? i was on phones for the last hour and a half of my shift on friday and like. when people call and ask if an item is in stock and i can’t confirm it i, just tell them its not. like, someone asked if we had a specific kayak and i usually just search the walmart app or run over to where itd be to check but the kayaks are to far for me to run to and the app said limited stock which usually means little to none so , i just put it on hold for a bit then tell him we’re out.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like video chatting in theory cause its nice to see people visibly react to stuff but i tend to get too self conscious about how i look so i  just do audio only

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both !! i am both

64: Do I believe in magic? yes in some ways i suppose

65: Do I believe in luck? yes im v superstitious

66: What’s the weather like right now? its a pretty good day its sunny but not too hot :oo

67: What was the last book I’ve read? its been ages since i last read a book in full 😔  i honestly dont knwo what the last one would of been 😔 😔

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes !!! love it

69: Do I have any nicknames? not anything i get consistently called no

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? ive never gotten super hurt that i can think of ??

71: Do I spend money or save it? save it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? doppio bean plush ,,,,

74: Favourite animal? hedgehogs!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? on my phone probably on tiktok or something waiting for jojo to come on toonami

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I? dont think he has one i guess ??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? butterflies by samsa but it makes me happy in the “im crying now” kinda way itss cute

78: How can you win my heart? just by being nice and respectful tbh ,

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? idk i dont really want anything fancy just my name (chosen name please god im so scared of dying and geting my birth name on my tombstone if that happens i WILL come back as a vengeful ghost) and my birth and death dates

80: What is my favorite word? saccharine

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr by my tumblr crushes (which its been YEARS since i looked at) ; frostios, 27names4tears, smollpurrito, happynaru, and warpedlamp

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? if we being real id just get so scared dsjkfsldjglg  theres so much i could say i dont know :((

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? not ? that i know of 

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? why are all the questions worded super basic except this one skdlskdjfj. Shape shifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i can really think of anything really as long as a friend is asking i tend to answer truthfully ?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Sobble BUT this reminded me that i wanted to change it to a xenoblade pic so its this now :

90: Failed a class? no

91: Kissed a boy? no

92: Kissed a girl? no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no but oh god just thinking about that im 🥺🥺🥺🥺 id die id melt 🥺🥺

94: Had job? ye i was a cashier for a year in highschool and then i work in wamlart apparel in the summers

95: Left the house without my wallet? not when I know ill need it no, but ive left it home if im just going to a friend or family member’s house or i have my mom’s card or some cash in my pocket

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no !!

98: Played on a sports team? no lmao i dont do sports

99: Smoked weed? no

100: Did drugs? i had a weed brownie like once but it was such a small piece i didnt really feel anything

101: Smoked cigarettes? no

102: Drank alcohol? Ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? not currently i was vegan for a little bit to encourage a friend that was doing it though

104: Been overweight? no

105: Been underweight? no

106: Been to a wedding?  yes three, my grandma’s when she got remarried, and both my brothers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably yes lmao often

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? not TV TV but if netflix and the like count then yes

109: Been outside my home country? no :(

110: Gotten my heart broken? not ? really no

111: Been to a professional sports game? ive been to a handful of Yankee games

112: Broken a bone? no

114: Been to prom? yes i went to my highschool’s and a friend’s highschool’s my senior year

115: Been in airplane? no

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none :((((

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? ye

119: Learned another language? i took 3 years of Spanish in high school but i wasn’t any good at it and dont really remember much of what i did learn

120: Wore make up? yes i do often :0

123: Dyed my hair? ye a lot

124: Voted in a presidential election? yes ever since iv been old enough to i vote

125: Rode in an ambulance? no

126: Had a surgery?  dental surgery yes

127: Met someone famous? Not anyone i’d count no

128: Stalked someone on a social network? depends on what you count as stalking i guess but like not ever in a creepy way like ive been on people’s social media to find out stuff about them like. if theyre in a relationship or especially after highschool ill wonder about someone i havent talked to in awhile and ill see what theyve been up to and what theyre doing with their life and stuff

129: Peed outside? no

130: Been fishing? yes like once

131: Helped with charity? donation wise yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? ive never confessed to anyone and been rejected but once a friend told my crush i liked them and they confronted me about it and rejected me but it made me more mad at the friend that told them than it made me sad about being rejected because i knew it’d probably go like that  and it justmade thing awkward between us for awhile  😔

133: Broken a mirror? ive broken the little mirrors inside eyeshadow pallets but i havent broken full ones

134: What do I want for birthday? usually just money lol or something thoughtful and cute

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? i aggresivly do NOT want kids BUT hypohetically Elliot or Xander for a boy and idk what i’d nam a girl

136: Was I named after anyone? no

137: Do I like my handwriting?  its messy so no not really but if im writing something for myself like a not or whatever i dont mind as long as i can read it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? even as a little kid i always played computer games but other than that, this guy :

139: Favourite Tv Show? Jojo

140: Where do I want to live when older? New york or japan

141: Play any musical instrument? i can kind of play harmonica

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? i burnt my thumb kinda bad on the oven a while ago its still kinda healing but right now it looks like its gonna stay a scar

143: Favourite pizza toping? i like everything/suprieme pizza but if i have to pick one single topping pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? yes :((

145: Am I afraid of heights? mentioned it earlier but yes if im not strapped in or secured etc

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? no im so scared of being caught doing something bad that i just. dont

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? i mean yes but thats life babey

149: What my greatest achievments are ive gotten awards for grades and stuff but that boring BUT i got the english department award or whatever that was called im very proud of that

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery i donate some and save the rest tbh

152: What do I like about myself i can be pretty  sometimes 👉👈 im cute or whateva ,,,

153: My closest Tumblr friend i dont really havent “tumblr friends” aside from friends i know irl and also tey have tumblrs ,,

154: Something I fantasise about just. growing up and having my own place maybe with someone and. being comfortable and  okay and not having to worry ,,

155: Any question you’d like? dkfjhdskhf japan :000

[jan-uinely]

hot takes continued

here we go. season 12 episode 12. 

so. it’s time to chit chat about drag race. if u dont like my opinions sry. 

this is gonna get bigger than one episode or one season. this is meta drag race. 

but first i guess the episode. right. so. obviously it was a “musical” so obviously i wanted to see jan sing and obviously she did not. I do think that this challenge [not necessarily placed in this episode] would have been a great time to do a like returning queens. but i digress.

i think that it was a little muddled. like it wasn't like any of the “girl group” numbers where it’s just the verse and chorus. all of the verses were placed in different spots throughout the show. I also think it’s ironic that this whole episode is to promote this live vegas show which is obviously not happening right now. but alas. 

i agree with bob in that i liked jackie’s verse the best. 

i did not love gigi’s outfit in the challenge. you couldn't make out the heart as easily bc the red was all the same color. I also think the material used was too chunky- it was quilted. i would have rather had the heart be quilted, not have a corset underneath it, and have the rest of the top part not be quilted. i thought it was a good concept but i would have preferred different #choices. i also would have rather the hair been straight instead of curled.

i did not have a huge issue w crystal’s orange and green outfit. i also appreciated the callback stars and stripes hair. though maybe not together?

jaida was good as per usual. i want her to win, but we will get to that later. 

also let us note the basketball wives hair that made a comeback [gigi, jackie]

runway time.

crystal and ******’s outfits did not fit the way i wanted them too, and the problems were both in the hips. when i saw them i thought the hips should be exaggerated, but instead they both looked weirdly deflated. and crystal’s torso section could have been brought in. [i did see on instagram that the person who made crystal’s look [casey caldwell who is a nyc based designer, works w a lot of neoprene/thick materials- just look up on instagram caseyyalater] actually made it for dragcon and crystal bought it right there, so it wasn’t tailored] 

in the dior v dior battle, i thought gigi won. jackie’s dress was just i think a little too large [not in terms of tailoring, in terms of diameter] but it was very jackie

gigi said that her outfit was quintessential gigi, which i think it interesting bc if you look up showgirls performances, it very much is. however in terms of the character portrayed on drag race i didn’t think it was. it was very well made, etc. but it just didn’t fit the “perfectionist trope” of the show. 

jaida is once again wearing a gown with a presequinned fabric, which i am not mad at. it is quintessential jaida. 

critiques. 

again ooh we have to nitpick bc we accidentally cast too many winners on this season blah blah blah. i was not a fan of when they said oh well we will have to look at report cards. as if they didnt intentionally load up gigi and ****** with wins at the start of the show. 

and then it’s like oh well jackie and crystal have to lip sync blah blah blah. and you know that jackie is going home. bc the judges absolutely love crystal, all because of that mullet. 

to quote bob “I used to be really upset at queens who won the judges with their personality” and that is still mostly true for me. i don’t think her placement is unjust or whatever, but like if ru didn’t like the mullet, she would not have been given the confidence boost to turn her trajectory around, compared to jackie and widow and jan, who did most things right but just were not rupaul’s fave, and must have had a much more difficult time mentally on the show. 

and FWIW heidi falls into this category as well. race chaser i think said it - all of her success comes from ru’s ideas. and being naturally funny and charismatic and having ru like you as a person is a huge gift and huge talent, but the inability to wrangle it...  that being said i think she deserves the world and will grow [and has already grown] from this experience.

and the thing is that crystal also keeps going back to the same stuff which could have been funny if the episodes were more than one apart or if she didn't do it twice in one episode but. idk. 

now, who will win, who should win, hmm hmm hmm. tbh i don’t think it will be crystal. they just crowned the oddball and they like to mix it up, or at least try to. also why looking at the history of dusted or busted scores [and s/o to jan for coming in @ 4 [after the disqualification]] crystal is at a 2, and bebe won with the lowest score at a 3 [w 2nd and 3rd place at 4 and 5], and that was in season 1, which was a whole other ballgame. leaving us with jaida and gigi. i am team jaida. i think that she is much more developed as an artist and performer than gigi, and I think that she will bring us something new.

[here comes the meta part]

the title is america’s next drag superstar. and i think in the beginning of the show, they decided that that had to mean something new and exciting, something that pushed the boundaries of what drag could be [which is rly ironic coming from them but]. which has developed this culture of what is the formula to be successful on drag race. and some people were more overt about this [jan] and some people were more subtle about this [gigi and jackie]. 

but for some reason, the [Black] pageant queens will make it to the top and then never win. - and they’ve had overt conversations regarding pageants and pageant culture on the show before - but balls and pageants were like the building blocks of drag culture in the us [from what i understand]. so inherently that means it’s no longer “new” and exciting. but the thing is that so many of these fashion [/nyc] queens work so exclusively with these high end designers to produce these looks [i think bob said it can cost like 10K to prep all your stuff for drag race] and with that the ability to design and sew falls away. 

and i think that is reflected in the challenges and how they have changed. this season there was one design challenge. and that is just so disappointing to me bc i think the design challenges really separate who has a full understanding of their persona and who does not. 

and with fewer and fewer design challenges, you have more and more designer items, and the ability to create something has fallen to the wayside. personally [and i will probably make another post about this later] i want to bring back the design challenges in one of two ways. 1. have an all designers season. where drag designers work to make elaborate costumes based on a prompt and given certain materials. bc on the show designers are not credited as much [that part comes on instagram]. 2. i want to have a drag race blank slate competition. where contestants audition and are given a list of prompts but cannot bring anything except like a notebook. no prepared outfits. you can sketch designs to the prompts, but all the materials are provided. contestants still have a main challenge and a runway, but rather than 2 days, they are given a full week to execute the challenge and the outfit. this would totally change the game in my mind. like one you wouldn't have to have money or take out loans to compete, you could just come and show who you are. and two the audience could see more of what goes into this stuff. AND if drag race really wants to feed us, they could do like a wed. ep and a friday ep. to spread things out. 

my favorite challenges are design challenges, and while i think the first challenge this season gave us a better introduction to who the contestants are, the design challenge is a really good thing to have at the front. 

i do think that if they had not had the debate that there would have been another design challenge in the mix, but bc it was an election year. 

anyways, i want jaida to win bc she’s excellent at what she does. and at this point there is something new and exciting about making all your own clothes and being polished and knowing who you are.  and tbh gigi doesn’t bring anything new to the table. sure the ability to sew and design is good, but compared to aquaria and violet the designs were not as diverse or inventive. on top of that, the fact that gigi is outwardly apolitical [and doesn’t understand the connotation of “privilege” in today’s times] is just not a good look. I also think that it is interesting that gigi came in as the look queen but actually did better in the acting challenges. 

idk my main takeaway is that gigi is really really good at playing other people, and with that comes a lack of self awareness. striving so hard to be perfect can come at the cost of not knowing who you are as an artist. like gigi’s brand is literally “im that bitch/bitch” which again, just isn’t what i want in a winner. 

and tbh the gigi bug bit early but ended when ru gave her the win on the madonna episode. [i will say that jackie could have won snatch game but tbh i was annoyed w her for being a little dickish to the safe girls that week [though what she said was totally understandable] and also i <3 jackie cox [and chelsea piers we stan chelsea piers in this house] i think there is something so gr8 abt being a nerd and being prepared and being on brand about it. also jackie is always the one to hop on the dolls’ lives and comment their venmo. hashtag cool aunt jackie. [though that here for cox t-shirt and the promo photos make me uncomfy though i get it]]

re jackie coming back to complete the top 4... IDK it’s nice and all but they've already established that they don’t want her to win- otherwise she would not have been eliminated. 

also in my mind there are only 12 places so jan actually came in 7, widow 6, heidi 5, jackie 4. 

anyways these are my thoughts. as usual, raw and unedited. 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

you said random number so.. gimme 5, 17, 24, 26, 38, and 43

#epic thank you!!!! sorry this is so long, gang, but you know me. press J if you have that keyboard shortcut option

5)favorite fics?

soph nothingunrealistic’s!! click the link & peruse any of the dozen gifts to this world on ao3. also just go right to her writing tag

17)a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?

well i don’t Really have an answer for this one, but just yesterday it was once again time to talk abt how jaclyn moriarty’s 4-book ashbury/brookfield YA series is a lot of fun and unusual in good ways, but like, i guess what with being published throughout the aughts and like, not being super obscure but also not being explosively popular, and idk maybe they were also more Known in australia than the US, and, idk, but there’s not exactly what you’d call a Fandom online, or even very many traces of one. and i just like to mention the series as Fun To Read because they are very lively and focus on girls and have a real variety of Girl Characters (and also some boy characters who are also varied and fun but that’s just a bonus) and in particular i like to talk about how the third book has a really Unusual Choice Of Protagonist (the unfun unpopular Best Grades by-the-book overachiever etc etc etc nerd girl, kinda having the personality that ppl misinterpret alana beck’s personality to be lol, like something of a killjoy goody-two-shoes lol, but also with that earnestness and drivenness that alana has as well)......and the format of each book is Epistolary, but in different and creative ways each time, and it’s fun how like, the characters who are telling the story (the ones whose letters are used and etc) rotate with each book [tho emily and lydia are Storytellers in the 2nd And 4th books] and it’s very neat how like, you do get that sense that just b/c someone’s not being Focused On as much from different people’s perspectives doesn’t mean they aren’t still existing and present and doing stuff and having their own story, even when that’s not being mentioned by whoever’s writing down the events that we’re reading. we love that sentiment. anyways i just like to always Promote them.

24)who are you at the end of this decade?

hmmm!! i mean in many ways i am who i have been the whole time but yknow, 2009 - 2019 was a tumultuous period. i was always furiously trying to think through Who Am I As A Person for various reasons, even though like, when you’re in ur mid-teens that’s always In Progress rather than there being a really set answer to be discovered, and for a while it was a lot of frustration with myself all “why are you like [this], why can’t you do [that] right,” etc etc. but eventually i had like, a better frame of reference for a lot of what was going on, and even why i never quite felt like i had a great sense of Who I Am and What I Like and etc in the first place, and more understanding and respect for myself lol. even now it’s like, yknow i’m ~self-consious~ in ways often lol and i’ll sometimes Use that to be like, okay try to improve [this thing] about yourself!! and yknow on the one hand i feel like stuff i’ve been Working On for years Has paid off in ways, but then recently it’s like......okay hang on but like, it’s not a bad thing to like, have some traits that maybe aren’t gonna be seen as “perfect” or might be annoying or yknow, your Demeanor and Vibe isn’t always like, the most important thing to focus on lol or something where like, oh being sweet & saintly & coming across as utterly pleasant to everyone always gets to be The Objective Ideal. like, i’m opinionated and can be argumentative and sometimes impatient?? like, there’s a balance here between “good to be trying to Improve Yourself always or whatever lol” and “but also everyone is People with Traits and Different Personalities and everyone doesn’t have to just sand themselves down into an edgeless smooth sphere” and like, sure it’s like “haha i’m a bit more temperamental than i’d like still” but also i sure sympathize w/ the fact that like, oof, depression makes it tricky sometimes! and i do pretty okay at like, being Aware of when my mood is cursed and trying to be as chill about it as poss! or like, “haha wish i was better at conversation lmao” but yknow also understanding that like.....i’m just kinda Not great at it and that’s what’s Natural for me and like, again, a balance between “trying to be easier to talk to, lol” and “being okay with the fact that i’m not super easy to talk to and most ppl aren’t very easy for me to talk to either, lol”

im trying to be a bit less cagey lol which i guess might not be the first word someone might use to describe me for a variety of reasons, But......and but then also, i just like, for me there is no simple Be Yourself, Just Talk Naturally As U Would conversation mode lol, but you know. it’s hardly a pressing issue, and at the same time, like, sometimes when i find it hard to talk to people it’s like “well this is just you needing to Be Nicer” or whatever, or like, well you’re just not used talking to Anyone so like, push through it, and then it takes me a while to realize like, well no you just don’t love talking to them, lmao......and at the same time i’m Really slow to realize when people *do* actually enjoy talking to me, lmao, i am just not used to it And used to people like, not really being super interested in interacting with me even if they think i’m alright lol. lord! so i’m still slightly surprised whenever Anyone likes me, but also like, then again there’s sort of always these repeated scenarios where it’s like [Glum Trombone Noise] i’m also the recipient of various ppl’s various contempt for various reasons........which like, i sure don’t Absorb that as like “way 2 go, you deserve that” but also like, sure also never is the most fun experience of your life. but i have a way more solid sense of the fact that like, i don’t inherently deserve that, and an understanding of Why people will be Like That sometimes, and that’s all been acquired knowledge from the whole journey of this decade lol

also like, i have always been and continue to be like, Basically A Cat lol.....cats-sonas for everyone, ___ the ___ cat, But Seriously Folks........like, oh, there’s a lot of ppl and/or noise around?? unless i have chosen to put myself in that situation for fun, i’m probably gonna be finding whatever quiet / distant corner to hide out in and try to remain as undetected as possible.......kinda wary about interacting with people sometimes, though then also, i like to be friendly w/ strangers (if they’re friendly with me) and won’t necessarily mind spontaneous interactions but only if it’s Plausibly Expected in the situation, and even then, i might just prefer that Nobody Talk To Me......and i’ve yet to be Really comfortable in a group of ppl if i’m there *with* that group lmao, like, i don’t like to take the lead or compete for attention or anything and just kinda will try to do my own thing on the outskirts, whereas if i’m by myself it’s just like, i feel a lot more comfortable and like i can just do whatever lmao..........and also i don’t like to make noise lol. unless again, it’s deliberate, and it’s Fun. like at a concert? i will be the death of whatever nerd like, wants it to be like a solemn “listening to a record” occasion or wants everyone to yell out complete sentences if a performer asks an Arena full of people How Are You Doing 2nite or whatever. i’m gonna yell!!! anyways. idk. i am always like “oh i am Very Much [this way], except for all the times i am totally [the would-be Opposite way]”........i can’t really opt out of having Anxious Qualities and that’s alright, even though it does get in the way of things sometimes for sure. like, c’est la vie!!! i understand why i am like this, and that like, while for my own sake i can try to hold my own hand here and encourage myself to be a little bolder, it’s totally fine that like, i have Problems and Difficulties. 

i’m also at like, maybe the lowest levels of Impending Dread that i’ve had since i was like, 8 or some shit lmao............like again kind of a Wild Decade and one where like, it was totally all like “wow am i even gonna make it to [a few yrs in the future] -> [a year in the future] -> [half a year from now]” aaand it hasn’t been a full year yet since i was last thinking like “lmfao oof i might not be alive by __, who knows!!” but even while that was going on it was at least an improvement from the times i thought i might like, hmm hope i don’t off myself. and like, this is probably the first Start Of A Year in like. well possibly the past decade lmao, where yknow, it hasn’t felt quite as dire. i mean im not really out here a cockeyed optimist about anything, and like, i’m aware that things are always a little tenuous and there’s other factors i’m always nervous about, but That’s nothing new, and i’m kinda more like, neutral about the future rn lol? feeling less Dread and Doom is new-ish lmao and like, allowing that yknow, despite how crappy the past decade has been re: how i felt in my Outlook, there’s been a bunch of surprising Good Things to come along, and i totally allow for the fact that that could easily continue to happen. having Less(ened) Bad Feelings about Things might not = Absolutely Thriving but i appreciate it!! i also try to be appreciative lmao. like, what with the dread and doom & (hope i don’t die this year, i guess,) feelings, it’s wildly hard nowadays for me to like, anticipate stuff in a ~fun~ way or at all, but yknow when anything nice, even a really small / unspectacular / ordinary moment and/or detail, is being experienced by me, i try to enjoy that. i like to be Appreciative. and i think i’m also sort of like, sharing more of myself than i’ve probably gotten to or felt capable of doing in the past, and i appreciate that a lot too. like, it can be really Depressing for sure to think of like, hmm i haven’t had the chance to like, feel in control of things and like things are Totally Fine and i feel Totally Okay & like i’m enjoying everything, and i can choose to pursue [things i might enjoy], and maybe i Won’t have that chance? [another glum trombone noise] but like. i appreciate the good experiences that i Do and Have gotten so far. and the fact i’ve ever been in situations to connect with people and enjoy things the ways that i can and like, it’s really nice that My Presence in other ppl’s lives, even as just like Some Online Rando re: some ppl lmao, has had some positive effect for them or even just been enjoyed is like, wow, this is pretty great lol.........not sure where i was taking this tangent but like, i am someone who appreciates this a lot.

hmm i am also a passionate person at the end of this decade lmao!!!! that has definitely always been true. i am Of That Temperament. it is funny b/c like, the fact that i am A Motormouth Actually But Often Not Saying Anything In The Least To People, they think i’m like, of this very mild disposition and Not someone with strong opinions that they will launch into, or else i would have been doing that already........but you know!!! here i am online, fully able to just dive into things and start talking about whatever for one million years. and i sure latch onto stuff in a Big Way sometimes, which is why anyone follows me at all lol, b/c if you like [whatever particular content] and i am just all about that too, it’s a beneficial situation for us both i guess lmao. i can get really excited and focused about stuff, obviously, and i sure Also Obviously like to explore the emotional aspects of things. which is a vague thing to say lmfao but you all know what i mean!!! it continues to be the only reason i draw lmaooo like i draw so much and like, Making Fanart And Sharing It Online has i think also been a journey of this decade for me, and i really only draw a) exactly that fanart that i feel like making, and b) what i feel like making is always also probably abt Feelings somehow, like the Three Emotions: kissing (aka gay), crying (sad), and angry (angry)........great news if you want to see the stuff i already happen to be drawing lol!!! bad news i guess if you were hoping i’d draw anything but whatever i end up wanting to draw. i cannot be diverted. and i don’t even draw for its own sake lol like, i’ve always doodled for fun and all that, but like, ive never been a “wow i want to make my own __ someday” or whatever, and if i’m trying to draw something which is anything other than [the exact thing i might feel like drawing] it is Such a chore that like, i just don’t do it except for like, total Exceptions. except exceptions lol. don’t ask!! anyways why did i get on that drawing tangent there........yeah it’s definitely lucky that i’ve been giving myself that Drawing Experience so that i can connect w/ ppl that way, cuz i’m godawful at like, necessarily providing other stuff lol Or at being the one to Make Connections Happen otherwise......and also of course sometimes it is easier to convey/communicate something via drawing. woohoo!!

anyways yeah i’m a bit excitable lol and i sure guess i’ve got that Chaotique energy at times, for better or worse lol........like sometimes my Contribution can be like, just an absolute wild card thrown into the pile, or just like, maybe adding some Boost to a situation that other people can run with if they so choose. just throw things out there sometimes and enjoy when other ppl find that fun lmao

what else is there about me??? lol.......oh yeah i’m always sort of an Office Goofaround (not actually in an office ever, though). like, when ppl Don’t have that sense of Collaborative Humor where like, if someone does something a bit silly u just roll with that bit, or if god forbid they have Exhausting Cishet Guy humor where they think everything is about Dry, “Intelligent” Sarcasm and that being “funny” is about making yourself look like the coolest or cleverest person there who Wins the Center Of Attention spot?? it’s like, eff that, where are my Get Silly gang. also puns are funny but also only b/c they are silly. you have to really lean into it lol. 

well anyways!!!! and when i am asked to talk about myself i can be very extensive and yet not necessarily cover everything. here we are

26)favorite look you had?

my look hasn’t changed too much! Tees n Jeans (or shorts? or jorts? lol) are pretty much my thing altho you Know i have at times added in A Layer, or even accessories.......as always, part of the first few years of the decade for me was the whole “aha, yeah okay i’m trans” process, but before that i wasn’t ever really trying to be more “””””””””fashionable”””””””””” than the tees n jeans type of look anyway lmao, and even nowadays like, i have some Wardrobe Items that like, ppl might consider ”androgynous” or whatever when cis dudes wear them, like leggings or a v-neck sweater........really some of the only significant Changes was getting binder/s eventually (by 2012?? ugh idk) and also like, by 2011 i cut my hair relatively short, and from there on i just like, every year went “ugh god i need it to be shorter” and even now i’m like, hmm, do i want it shorter or is this fine?? but also i’m somewhat limited styling-wise b/c i just continually cut it myself in a bathroom mirror, true chaotic. and! i’ve been like, god i wish i had a baseball cap that’s just like, solid [my fave blue] or yknow, black or something, or idk. one that i like. and also someday it would be nice to like, not only have an updated prescription of lenses but also Multiple Glasses Frames to choose from, even though my current ones are alright still lol.......this is me just talking abt my past looks and how i’d like to potentially update my look lmao i did Not answer the question but, as usual, i also don’t have a great direct answer lol

38)a prediction you had for this decade that came true?

lol this was not a decade where i was ever looking ahead to 2020 and making any assumptions about this Block Of Time as a whole.......i mean like, i was Really starting to suspect byyyy 2012 for sure that like, i could not like, be able to exist And have my parents be in my life at all lol and by 2013 it was just like. increasing confirmation of that. and i last saw / spoke to them prior to me just effing out of there at the end of 2015. snaps for me

43)an important relationship (of any kind) you had?

well a couple i appreciated that might not be obvious were pretty brief and fairly impersonal lol. so in 2015 i had this Nightmare Job for five whole months which was obviously miserable in most ways, but there was this other guy who wasn’t even a Coworker, we just had the same job and had similar routes of Stores to go to, so we would run into each other a lot of mornings, and he would talk to me and i’d talk to him and he was totally good-humored about everything and that was helpful lmao b/c it’s great to have Someone you enjoy seeing. i also struck up a rapport with a baked-goods stocker at one particular store, and that could be an enjoyable 14 seconds. it was a godawful job lmao and like, Any pleasantness at all / decent treatment from other people was very helpful

also at this other job the next year which was a lot less hellish, there was this customer lady who like, i can’t remember at what point she started talking to me but yknow it got to be that if we’d run into each other she’d kind of update me on her life. and she would be like “sorry i’m talking to you, a stranger, about all this stuff all the time, but my life is a mess and i don’t really have anyone to talk to” and i would be like, lmfao mood, do not even worry about it, and yknow this was someone i only ran into usually once every few weeks at my job, and could only listen to for however long, but she was Going Tf Through It all the time and as much as i am a chatterbox who will go on for a century about myself b/c i can’t be concise abt anything ever, i’m also decent at being in Listening Mode lmao or yknow, i was like No Truly i don’t mind you venting, and also yknow, i’m like well i know how much it sucks to have Nobody to talk to about Big Problems. and i am this random restaurant worker and if i’m one of the only people this lady can talk to, you can bet i’m going to listen lol.......and she was really goin through it all One Thing After Another and yknow i’d catch her two weeks later and she’d be all like, well [this situation] has gotten worse, or This One Problem is over but now New Problem has replaced it, etc, and a whole issue that i got updated on was like lol. she had this boyfriend who she’d kinda mention early on when she was talking abt trying to find a job, or losing a new-but-terrible job and once again being back in that Job Hunt Stress, and idk like. i just sort of have decent Relationship Instincts lmfao of like “hmm this doesn’t sound great” but like, a month or two later she’s straightup Married to this dude, and i’m like oh congrats :) and then when a month or two after That she’s talking about how like, she’s maybe having Job Probs again and her now-husband is really giving her shit for like, not having found a new one yet, i’m like internally all [ :)))))) Not Surprised :))))))) ] but i’m like. yknow you Sympathize n Validate but if you just up and tell someone who’s being treated real bad like “you are being treated terribly, this person is acting terribly” then they might just want to defend them like oh it’s not That bad, or minimize it, and blame themselves for making their terrible partner “look bad”.......and by extension when she once was in our restaurant With said husband and introduced us i was like, just getting further confirmation abt this dude’s shittiness from his Immediate Vibe lmao like....whenever i feel uncomfortable enough in someone’s presence in a [not just universal level of Anxiety] way, it’s like, that instinct is pretty reliable & accurate lol.....but i had to pretend Not to hate him or act too standoffish towards him lmao cuz like!!! i figured i could “get away with it” but yknow, this lady had already said how isolated she was and the husband sure seemed Controlling and like, yknow, if you act like you don’t Like the shitty partner or said shitty partner catches wind of you maybe telling this person that “hey your partner is being shitty” then it’s all, them telling their partner “don’t go around that person who is so obviously Against me >:(” and like. yknow i figured as Random Restaurant Employee this dude wasn’t about to be super on guard about me but i still was not wanting to risk it but luckily i only met him the one time and only had to casually pretend i didn’t think he was shit that one time. and anyhow! soon enough the lady is talking to me about how she thinks getting married to him was a mistake but like, again, she was real isolated and didnt have family or friends or ppl in the area to talk to, and like, yknow she would be pretty sure her husband was cheating on her but of course He was the one all like, wanting to be controlling and invade her privacy and accuse Her of cheating on him, and i’m like, internally screaming but again yknow, i’m just letting her vent to Anyone (me) and sympathizing. and iirc her talking about her “uh oh my husband sucks” was like, i had come back from this delivery so we were in the parking lot lol and she was so upset about all of it and like, “sorry i’m just this random person talking to you for twenty minutes in a parking lot and crying lol” and i’m like. i mean yknow if the only person you can vent to about this terrible situation is me, this random person in a parking lot, absolutely i am glad to do it, even though i would’ve done it anyways lol...........and i was so mad at our General Manager this one time lmao b/c. yknow it’s a couple weeks later and wouldn’t you know it, The Lady is really stressed b/c her husband was yelling at her and broke a window in their apartment, and the Cost Of Repairs added to their monthly rent meant they might not be able to make that rent, and she was in that crappy situation that gets pulled on Tenants Who Probably Don’t Have Much Money, where you’re supposed to get 5 Days Notice or whatever when they’re like “get out b/c your rent is overdue” but you get that Notice on like, friday afternoon when your Last Day is supposed to be the following monday, and nobody is at the office all weekend, so obviously that’s not five days and it’s really only One Day and that Last Day that you’d even have a chance to talk to anyone, which is also a monday when you’d probably have work, and yknow, good luck finding help over the weekend, when probably ppl will just want to spend that time rushing to just pack their shit up and leave anyways.....ANYHOW it’s just some particular heinous bullshit and it was like, the saturday after it had happened to her, and i sympathized entirely b/c that had happened to me and i now lived in my car but i figured i wouldn’t bring that up lmfao.......and anyways i was sitting down with her to listen to her b/c it’s an Insanely Stressful Situation and again like, whenever she’d show up i’d let her talk to me abt her Problems for however long she felt like. and anyways of course eventually the one By-The-Books manager gives me shit all like “what are you doing daring to Sit Down and Not be doing restaurantly actions, ugh” and i’m like. i mean, unsurprising lecture to get lol, of course, but i was just so impatient like. well this person was having a crisis so i prioritized that above keeping the coffee stirrers fully stocked at all times, bite me. ENNYHOW and i didn’t see her for a minute after that and i Was a bit worried b/c like. of course i had every reason to be and she was just always looking so completely exhausted but then like, actually the last time i saw her she was actually more upbeat than ever b/c like! turns out that during an argument her husband had assaulted her and had been arrested. which is of course like. i was like oh i am completely sorry about that trauma but congratulations at this person being separated from you!!! and like, i wish i could have kept up with her beyond that, but i couldn’t, but like, that was the first Improvement in her life that i’d heard since i met her, and it was a way better last-thing-to-hear-from-her than her stressing out abt eviction thanks to her abusive husband breaking shit. and like, weird relationship lmao but!! idk i did feel lucky that i could be The One Person This Lady Gets To Talk With b/c like, god forbid she have absolutely nobody to talk to about this shit or treat her with any sympathy, even if it was just me, the rando she only got to see on occasion. and i hope she’s doing okay still! wish i knew for sure of course, but i’m glad i at least got to be there for her in a tiny way for a period of time and did eventually like, Know that she both knew that this was a bad person to be with, and got that Reason to be separated from him.

[dysphoric-dumbass13]

All of them. Every single fall themed ask at once. Lets see how you like it. (love you)

Whatever. Something to do in bio. Love you too boo.

Lantern: (how did you meet your best friend?) I have three. For Evan, they said something about the flannel I was wearing. I didnt like them that much to start out, they were too bubbly for my taste. For TJ, I was friends with his best friend in 6th grade. She left and I didnt have any friends so J tried to become friends with him and Angel. I loved him, he was so sassy and cool. For Kass, the asshole who's making me do this, it was 6th grade science. I didn't know what to call them and spent the entire year trying to figure it out but being too afraid to ask. They were actually pretty cool. Idk what all of their initial opinions of me were.

Frost: (if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?) Quit pretending you're an adult, itll just hurt you. Let yourself dress masculine, it's ok to do that. And it's ok to like girls like you do, dont be afraid to express yourself.

Maple: (is there a hobby/skill you've always wanted to try but never did?) Yeah, I always wanted to be on a little league football team when I was little.

Harvest: (what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?) Dean winchester. Because I am just..... basically him if he wasnt raised in an environment with toxic masculinity *cough cough* John *cough cough*

Fireside: (if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?) Flannel, band tees, everything would be from the Mens section. Some binders for masculine and nb days and lots of mens skinny jeans. Also David Bowie Vans, pride converse, and combat boots.

Cider: (a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?) Idk. For a period of time I hated coffee, I dont mind it now.

Amber: (share an unpopular opinion that you may have.) Oof. Um, christians aren't necessarily bad, the ones we all know of are because they hide behind the bible to hate people.

Fog: (how well do you think you'd do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?) Either really well or terribly. I'd either let then get me, or wear a medieval suit of armor and just walk through everywhere boss mode. And Costco.

Jack-O-Lantern: (if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?) Ruby rose.

Spice: (have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?) Yes. Mine. Creepy baby handprints in the basement. In keeping the spirits occupied with my old Barbies.

Orchard: (share one thing you'd like to happen this autumn) Oh, that's hard. I think I'd want a partner so I dont go into winter depressed like I always do.

Crow: (which school subject do you have an aptitude for?) Math or English? Does choir count? Idk

Bonfire: (describe your dream house) Idc that much. As long as it has a library and multiple bedrooms, and the people I care about loving with me/nearby

Cinnamon: (if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?) Either Ireland in the medieval times as a knight, or the 70s in Europe or the US.

Cranberry: (what is one physical feature you get complimented on?) Annoyingly, my boobs. Apparently they're big and nice, whatever. Recently, my hair though. I just cut it short.

Maize: (share the weirdest encounter you've had with a stranger on the street.) Last year, I was at the mall in a bathroom and an older woman (idk maybe 60?) came up to me and said "I'm either having a drink or I have to pee. You're living the golden years kid, not me." In hindsight I think she was just quoting John Mulaney at me, but it was weird to me when it happened.

Quilt: (how do you take your tea or coffee?) Tea, chai and Irish breakfast are my favorites, I really like green tea though. It has to be sweet though, I can't stand unsweetened tea (theres my mom's Texan coming out)

Pumpkin: (do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?) Neither, I think people are born blank slates and our experiences shape everything about us.

Moonlit: (are you a neat or messy person? Is your room/house orderly?) Hahahaha, what's a floor?

Flannel #1: (have you ever gone on a bad date?) No. I've only ever been on one date, and I thought it was pretty good. I dated one person who was an asshole but that's it.

Cocoa: (if you could have any type of hair, what color and cut would you have?) Probably my natural color (light brown, easiest to dye), cut short, but curly in texture instead of this wavyish shit.

Ghost: (is there someone that you miss having in your life?) Yeah. I mean she isn't dead, but my 6th grade best friend. I miss her.

Pumpkin spice: (what is your drink of choice?) Mt Dew, Dr. Pepper, or tea. But it has to be sweet.

Wool socks: (what is something you look forward to in fall?) If I lived anywhere but where I live this would work, my wardrobe is actually fitting for the type of weather. Coolish, with some breezes, and crisp. Warm sometimes. My flannel is great for that, but stupid Colorado snows nearly year round.

Falling leaves: (you're stranded on a desert island and here's the twist: what three things do you NOT bring with you?) A boat so I can live in solidarity, thank you very much, anyone that's homophobic, transphobic, antisemitic, racist, etc, and peanuts.

Smelly candles: (what's your absolute favorite scent?) Fredh baked apple pie 🤤

Big sweaters: (do you prefer the cold, warmth, or a perfect in-between?) I'm practically a living heater. So cold weather.

Halloween: (if you could dress up as anyone/anything and pull it off absolutely flawlessly, who/what would it be?) Idk if this counts, but whatever gender I currently identify with (nb, feminine, masculine, in between). If that doesn't, then Jensen Ackles.

Cozy blankets: (where do you feel the most safe and at home?) With TJ. He's my family.

Hot tea: (when was the last time you kissed someone?) July 21st at around.... 5 or 6am?

Flannel #2: (what's your favorite day of the year? Is there a reason it's your favorite?) I don't really have one.

Chilly air: (what's your least favorite and favorite type of weather?) Is it weird that snowing is both my favorite and least favorite type of weather depending on the time of year?

Scarves: (if you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?) My pair of black ripped guys skinny jeand with my dark blue distressed flannel and my wolf shirt.

Apple cider: (if you could throw a party and invite absolutely anyone, who would they be?) All of my close friends, plus the one I haven't seen in forever that I miss too much, and Misha Collins.

Haunted houses: (what's your scariest memory?) It was a dream I had when I was 5 that I remember in perfect detail. When I find the time I texted it to Kass I'll make a post with a screenshot of it.

Fuzzy boots: (if you could live in any year/era, which would it be and why?) See cinnamon above

Thanksgiving: (what is someone/something that you're most grateful for? Any particular reason?) That's hard. Can I say my best friends? That's only 3 people. And because they're always there and care about me and I love them.

Black friday: (what is one thing, if anything, that you would sell your soul to own?) The rights to be the writer of a Supernatural sequel.

Apple picking: (if you could go anywhere, where would it be and why?) Ireland. Castles. About 60% of my heritage. Green.

Corn mazes: (do you have any secret talents/abilities?) Not secret ones

Hay rides: (if you could pick absolutely anything to be your form of transportation, what would it be?) A 1967 4-door black Chevrolet Impala. Obviously.

The color orange: (do you have a specific song that reminds you of autumn? What is it?) Yeah, a few. Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood, Trees by twenty one pilots, Smithereens by twenty one pilots, Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers, Snow (Hey Oh) by Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blackbird by The Beatles, Perfect by Ed Sheeran, Castle On The Hill by Ed Sheeran, Heartbeat by Carrie Underwood, and What I Got by Sublime. To name a few.

Windy nights: (if you could go to any concert whose would it be?) Live Aid lmao. If they dont have to be alive then Queen, if they do then either Ed Sheeran, twenty one pilots, or Panic!

Holding hands: (do you believe in soulmates?) Kinda? I think I want to. I think you feel it at one point, if you meet someone you love that dearly. But idk, maybe I'm just being stupid.

Kass, thank you. And I hate you.

[emberprince]

Answer ALL of those in the ask meme you reblogged (or just cocoa if you're a coward)

oh you have no idea how badly I wanted to do this already I was just waiting for the opportunity... and you have given it to me you FOOL! now I have a reason to continue procrastinating on my homework

lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

‣ I had just joined my first ‘good’ RP guild on World of Warcraft. She was sitting in the same building as me when my character was interviewed. I thought she was very cool but also very intimidating... I wanted to be friends with her but I was also an IDIOT and very new to roleplay so I kind of hope she remembers little of that time... We sort of fell out of contact for like 5 years but I followed her deviantart account and always added her art to my favorites because it was very CUTE and GOOD... anyway by sheer coincidence we ended up in a guild together again after many years and got to know each other more and now I think I would die if my best friend was anyone else

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

‣ man, high school doesnt matter. literally nothing matters as much as you think it does. it’s OKAY. stop caring what people think of you because it’s only going to give you depression and no one likes that. it’s okay. trust me. just chill. skip school once in a while

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

‣ I’ve always wanted to learn sign language... I’ve also wanted to learn like, blacksmithing or woodworking but I’ve never had the opportunity or tools to do so :(

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

‣ normally I would list one of my OCs but that’s cheating. I’d have to say Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, she seems the most like me. I’d LIKE to identify as a cool protagonist but I don’t have the protagonist personality

fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?

‣ cloaks and cool leather jackets and long flowing coats that make me look cool as FUCK. also dresses with pockets PLEASE I just want a semi-casual dress with functioning POCKETS PLEASE also I would love to have some nice boots and leggings that are a little thicker and don’t show as much as the flimsy ones. Coats/leggings/boots are just nice. I like shirts that are flowy and breathable, kind of like tunics

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?

‣ onions, mustard, peppers, broccoli, guacamole. basically no one ever cooked them for me when I was a kid then I grew up and realized that cooked vegetables are delicious as FUCK

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

‣ I’m really tired of seeing all the anti-cop posts. My dad is a wildlife law enforcement officer and one of the best people I know, and this whole new view on police has made his job a lot more dangerous. I understand that some cops are horrible people but the majority of them are really kind and unique individuals once you get to know them. Most of them dedicated their entire career to helping others, even if it means getting into dangerous situations. you can unfollow me for this if you want

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

‣ I wouldn’t die instantly because I’d immediately run into the wilderness and hide instead of raiding stores where the outbreak is literally happening, but I’m not great at living off the land so I’d probably eat something poisonous and die of a disease or starvation a couple weeks later. If I somehow found a good food source or had something to hunt with I’d be alright.

jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?

‣ jameela jamil...

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?

‣ no

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

‣ I’d like to pass all my classes and maybe get A’s and B’s... I’d also like to just be happy for a little while. Maybe get the hell out of my dorm but I don’t think that’s likely to happen. Most other years I’d say ‘fall in love’ but I really just am not ready for that right now. OH wait I’d like to receive 1 million dollars please

crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?

‣ CHEMISTRY. holy shit

bonfire - describe your dream house.

‣ a few minutes outside a town with everything I need like a grocery store, hospital, etc. A BIG spacious house in the middle of the woods near a waterfall with a rustic cabin design. Pine forest, one big window in the living room so I can look out at the mountains and watch it snow in the winter. Lots of comfortable furniture, a sectional couch, a big kitchen so I can do a lot of cooking and a big bedroom with a king sized bed. A jacuzzi. One room is like a giant playroom for Zuko with lots of perches and toys and ropes so he can just have the time of his life. My large bedroom also has a nice window with a view of the mountains and a windowseat in front of it. The living room has an electric fireplace. I have a couple guest rooms so I can host people and the basement has a bar where we can have little get-togethers.

cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?

‣ idk I kind of like the present. we have all these nice things we don’t normally have. I’d say like 10-20 years into the future maybe but I have no idea what the world is going to be like then sooo... maybe not. I wouldn’t want to live without the internet and running water and all the comforts I have now, though

cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school?

‣ I... miss parts of it. I miss the drama club in the high school I went to before I transferred. I had a lot of great memories there and sometimes I wish I could go back. And I miss the friends I made there that I don’t really talk to anymore. I don’t miss ANYTHING about the school I actually graduated from, that place was hellllllllllllll

cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on?

‣ I think... hair? Usually when I get compliments it’s just general about my appearance but I think I’ve heard hair mentioned before

maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

‣ I haven’t really had street encounters since I don’t talk to anyone when I’m walking, but I have a few wild stories from when I worked at mcdonalds. One person came through the drive thru with 2 monkeys that tried to climb into the restaurant. Another person raved to me about how Google was taking over the world (they were right). Another person pulled up and I was about to hand them their food and the conversation went like this:

him: [grinning at me] you see the person in the line behind me?

me: yeah haha why? [hands him his food]

him: she looks like madam mim from the sword in the stone [laughs and drives away]

there are truly some cryptids out there.

quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)?

‣ I like iced tea in the summer and hot tea in the winter. With coffee, I prefer frappes in the summer and in the winter I drink a lot of mochas or regular coffee with just. so much creamer

pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?

‣ I think humans are inherently good, or at least neutral. We’re very social animals and for society to survive we have to be kind to one another so that we stick around, I think. Bad behavior seems to be learned.

moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly?

‣ I am... neutral. I used to be VERY messy but now I’m mostly clean. My own area can get a little disorganized but I never encroach on anyone else’s space.

flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date?

‣ One. I met up with this guy and he talked about himself the entire time. Other dates have been pretty neutral, I wouldn’t say I’ve had many ‘good’ dates either.

cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?

‣ I used to want really long red anime hair, and I still kind of want that. I haven’t dyed my hair in a while because I want to see what my natural color looks like before I dye it again. Lately I’ve considered cutting it to shoulder-length but I think I probably won’t. I like red hair (dark red, not the natural red) but I’ve always REALLY wanted to try silver hair. If I couldn’t do silver, I’d do rose gold. For those colors I have to get it professionally dyed though, and I’m really cheap... so if I can’t walmart dye it, it’s gonna be a while until I get what I want.

ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?

‣ I guess my cat and bird are still in my life, but I can’t have them in my dorm, and that sucks. I miss a few of my old friends, but not that much because I have better friends now. It’s really weird not having my grandpa around anymore. He wasn’t a great person but I’ve never gone to a family gathering without him. I think that’s going to be weird to get used to. I wish I had a supportive significant other that I just click with but usually my luck is awful with relationships so I’m not going to try anything like that for a while.

[atlasfoundation]

Hey do you know why Shang chi is his father's favourite? Like he's great, but he's been shown going against him before and all that so I don't really understand. I can understand why the daughters wouldn't be his favourites since I think there's a bit of sexism in him (though not so much in recent comics) but what about takeshi? He also seems to not question his directives much at the beginning.

and then he keeps saying how Shang chi is his favourite despite Shang chi leaving him years before and working all his life to destroy his empire. So yeah, what are your thoughts? Also, what do you think he thinks of his other children? We've been shown that he didn't feel much for shi-hua and was scared of Zhilan's powers but we don't know what he thought of takeshi or esme.

Then again we also don't know anything about what happened to any of their mothers, did they die? Get thrown aside? Leave? Idk, sorry for bombarding you! I have many questions and one led to another

I’m not actually sure if it’s ever been said why Shang-Chi is his father’s favourite child (I may be wrong). I personally interpreted it as being due to the fact that he was the most naturally gifted martial artist, as well as originally the most loyal. Takeshi was raised in Japan without much contact with their father; Zheng Zu would’ve just inherently preferred his children raised in the House of Deadly Hand in the first place, and I guess Shang-Chi was his favourite out of his favourites.

And yes, Shang-Chi left him. How much characterisation from his older comics you want to still consider as “canon” is debatable so idk how much reasoning we can pull for why he’s still his favourite other than he was the best fighter and at one point in time was the most loyal. I personally would like to think he was almost jealous of Shang-Chi - he saw his younger self pre-opium wars in him and it made him want to live vicariously through him. That’s just my headcanon though idk people probably disagree with me. However, Zheng Zu’s final act before dying was trying to kill Shang-Chi and take his life force to fuel his own, so clearly he eventually grew sick of him lol. His dead ghost decided Shang-Chi was his favourite again - maybe he watched him thrive in Agents of Atlas and realised he was now ready to do the same for the Five Weapons Society idk

And yes, Zu didn’t care much for Shi-Hua due to sexism, and he was mutantphobic towards Zhilan. Esme was also raised in France, he probably barely knew her. Zheng Bao Yu was rebellious (and again, sexism). M’Nai is difficult to analyse - was he biased against him because he was adopted? Im not entirely sure, though knowing Zheng Zu that’s probably likely. Moving Shadow was also very loyal to his father and Zu literally killed him. I can’t really explain that one. Zheng Zu just decided he was too weak to deserve his respect - again, this characterisation was during a very racist era of his so I’m not sure how much I can critically analyse or headcanon about it. Kwai Far and Brother Staff are barely even characters I am not analysing them 😂

Im pretty sure someone said the rest of their mothers were concubines but I can’t remember which issue it was.

[and-little-things-in-between]

1,2,4,5,6,7,10,11,12,14,15,17,20,21,23,24,25,30,31,32,33,34,36,37,41,43,45,46,48,49,51,52,54,55,56,57,58,60,61. I literally just realized what the bottom text said just now. I'm too lazy to pick two plus it's super late and i want sleep right about now so either you pick two, or answer this ridiculous amount of questions (why so manyyy) and in return I'll do the same. lol good luck

oh mah GAW, dude xD Ok, here we GO

1. Are you good at apologizing? Depends. If I know I was the one who was wrong, yeah, I can apologize pretty easily, but if I really think I’m right or am just feeling really prideful, I’m horrible at apologizing. It’s never just “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” I always have to remind them of my good points lol 2. Do you prefer your looks or personality? Neither? Personality, if I have to pick. I like to think I can be a pleasant person to be around. 4. What are you most confident about yourself? My hair lol 5. Name a few songs that reminds you of someone, and who it remind you of. Ooohhh goodness. Anything Fall Out Boy-related = Susanne all the way. Also Panic! at the Disco, specifically the “Fever” album. FOB’s “American Beauty/American Psycho” album reminds me of a few of my friends. That stupid “Do You Like Waffles” song always reminds me of my brother. 6. What is your favourite colour combination? Uuuuuhhhhhh I never really thought about it lol I like burgundy with other shades of red and some shades of pink? I’m crocheting a bomb-looking blanket right now that’s like a combo of sea and space-inspired colors.7. Define your “aesthetic”. Nonexistent? I’ve never consciously thought about it. I guess like shades of blue and flowers and word art and flannels? Idk, man, I just go for whatever I’m feeling.10. What are some of your biggest pet peeves? People who don’t use their blinkers. People who are rude. People who don’t smile when you make eye-contact. People who cut me off in traffic. People who hover in traffic. People who make fun of other people for things they can’t control. Just people doing sucky things, tbh. 11. What’s something that automatically turns you off of other people? Conceit. Cockiness. Arrogance. REALLY strong personalities, like those people who are SUPER opinionated about EVERYTHING and try to turn EVERYONE to their side about EVERYTHING and try to control other people and every aspect of their lives. Also people who try to be grammar police, regardless of their knowledge level. 12. What song always makes you sad/emotional? “The Little Girl” by John Michael Montgomery. ugh. RIP me. 14. How are you with moving on? Absolutely horrible. I’m emotionally spent, currently, because of that exact issue lol15. What’s a philosophy you agree with, but fail to live by? Oh so many. Forgive and forget is a big one.17. What’s something positive happening in your life right now? I have friends again? Like, now that my mental health isn’t in a pit, I’m actually able to connect and have meaningful relationships with other people again, and that’s really cool. 20. Are you a good person? Nah, not inherently, anyway. Goodness is a choice that I can’t stick to on my own; I’m too selfish for that. Phil. 4:13, friends.21. How could you become a better person? Following Christ closely and being more selfless. 23. Have you ever been in love? If so, with how many people? Naaahh I’ve never been close enough with anyone to “be in love.” I love people, like a lot and really deeply, but not romantically.24. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe in annoying at first sight ;) But seriously, it depends on what “love at first sight” means, really. I think two people can click really well the first time they interact, but I don’t think you really love a person until you really know them. 25. Which social science interests you more; psychology (how the mind effects a person), sociology (how society affects a people) or anthropology (learning about culture)? Why? PSYCHOLOGY ALL THE WAY, though the other two are close. I just. The brain is SO freaking cool, and I’m always interesting to learn why the heck mine acts the way it does lol There’s so much to learn, and it’s all so complex and just fascinating. Human nature is fascinating.30. How do you usually get people to be interested in terms of romantic relationships? And platonic relationships? Romantic: I don’t lol #foreveralone Platonic: Humor, 10000000%31. What’s your favourite song to sing a long to? Ooooooooohhh depends on what my voice is doing lol but usually anything from “Prince of Egypt” or “Part the Waters/I Need Thee” by Selah32. What’s some “embarrassing” music you listen to? Every once in a blue moon, I’ll throwback to Big Time Rush lol33. What are you most snobby/pretentious about? So much, honestly lol I can’t think of any one thing off  the top of my head….My writing, maybe?34. How do you express sad emotions? And happy emotions? Tears and babbling. Also tears and babbling.36. How do you feel about phone calls? Depends on who it’s with. Doctor? Nope. Dentist? Nope. School? Absolutely not. Friend? Yes, let’s talk forEVER. 37. How do you feel about texting? Fine? I prefer phone or video calls, tbh, because I like to be able to hear your tone of voice/read your body language41. What’s something you love that you never do anymore? Why don’t you do it? Play piano. I’m not patient enough to practice anymore. 43. If there were no limits; who and what would you be? Everything. (idek man lol)45. Describe your fashion sense. The clearance racks  and Target and Kohl’s,  and thrift stores46. Do you have stage fright? Oh absolutely. It’s gotten a lot better because #teacherintraining, and I literally had to stand in front of 30 17-year-olds every day for 6 weeks. Also, I lead worship in a small class at church, so I’m better than I used to be, but I still get pretty bad stage fright. My hands shake really bad any time I talk in front of people, even in a casual class setting. 48. Are you more of an open or closed person? Closed if I don’t know you. More open if I do, but still generally pretty closed.49. What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you? And the best? Probably the depressed periods in my life when I felt really far from God and the people I care about. The best is salvation via Jesus Christ, aka the reason I made it through those dog days. 51. What are your top three places you’d like to travel and why? UUuuuhhhhh tbh I’ve never flown or anything, and travelling has always seemed like a weird, out of reach concept for me. Ummmmmmmmm I guess Italy, Spain, and England? Because there’d be a lot of cool stuff to see? lol52. What’s something you thought would be really scary/bad, but was actually fine when it happened/you did it? SO MANY THINGSSS umm probably riding roller coasters in Disney World. It was still petrifying, and I couldn’t stand up after because I was so scared, but like it wasn’t AS bad as I thought hahaha 54. Can you sleep facing someone? Yup55. Do you ever get in slumps? If so; how often, and how long do they usually last for? Um absolutely. I depends, anywhere from a day to weeks. 56. Do you like being alone? Yeah, but if I’m alone for too long, I get really depressed.57. Are you social? Selectively58. How do you feel about parties? Mmmm depends on what kind lol I prefer the “social gathering” type parties. No dancing or alcohol for this chick. 60. What question(s) do you love to ask people? Anything that gives me insight into who they are, be it spiritual stuff or just about how their day has (really) been. 61. What question(s) do you love being asked? Same kind of stuff, anything that leads to good conversations and stories. 

I DID IT WOO

[ameslore]

A-Z have fun dude

my dude

bless you ella

A- already answered!

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

tbh idk?

C - already answered!

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

i don’t have anything like that, actually. i either like a ship or i don’t.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

the chimney fic for the inception fandom’s 2016 secret saito. also the fic that fulfulled @drown-yourdarlings prompt about rose and lissa’s lehigh university experiences but that’s on my fanfiction.net account and let’s not talk about that........... right now or preferably ever

(rest is under the cut for length)

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

i’ve more or less been in the va fandom since... 2014?

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

see my answer to part (a)

(romitri was probably my first otp)

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

it used to be books, but i feel like there are so much unexplored depths in movies that it’s really to get inspiration for meta or fic, so nowadays it’s more movies.

I - already answered

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

the 00q fandom. of course i knew about james bond, but i hadn’t considered the ship

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

rose hathaway, vampire academy. over the course of six books and maybe ten months(?) she really found herself, got a lot more mature and self-confident

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

tasha ozera did not deserve what she got. she was a force of nature.

dominick cobb is a really fucking smart guy

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

the collective smh + lardo

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

for inception and 00q: more well-developed female characters. more poc. more woc. more screen time for all three.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

okay so haunted by beyonce always reminds me of arthur or q and I HAVE NO IDEA WHY BECAUSE THE SONG ISN’T REMOTELY RELEVANT TO EITHER OF THEM

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

okay i actually had this idea rolling around in my head for months. i’ve seen something kind of similar to my idea, but the premise is a little different-- “a little less sixteen candles”, arthur/eames, by osaki_nana_707 on ao3

just a sec. let me pull up my doc.

high school teacher-student CANON-DIVERGENT au except there’s no underage pedophilia because arthur’s not actually a minor, he’s a grownass man

so BASICALLY. arthur is part of running project somnacin with dom, mal, and stephen miles, but it gets shut down when the first soldier loses his grasp on reality and shoots himself in the head. topside. which is like, a mess for the military, so long story short everyone’s like “this is a NOPE program BYE”

after project somnacin gets shut down, dom, mal, and arthur open an architecture firm but arthur, who’s a beast at research and investigation and also knows shit about criminal justice (or is it criminology?), occasionally gets contacted by the military/sometimes the nsa/sometimes the cia to do consultant work.

by now arthur is twenty-four. he gets contacted by the military and it’s like “okay so someone may have stolen top secret files about project somnacin and because you know about the [highly confidential] project and you’re really good at investigative research we need you to help identify who this person is [spoiler alert: it’s our beloved thief and forger, eames], figure whether this information is in danger of getting leaked to the public, and all that good security shit??? we might need you to bring him in”

so arthur does his fancy-schmancy research, has a breakthrough and identifies a one mr. [first name redacted] eames, british ex-pat currently living in america and teaching english at a private high school.

due to his small frame and general twinkiness (i’m sorry but it’s true), arthur can pass for a seventeen or eighteen year old. SO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS? HE DECIDES TO ENROLL IN THE SCHOOL THAT EAMES TEACHES AT IN ORDER TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT EAMES. in rolls the teacher-student au

okay. that was a very long way to establish the premise of a fic, but anyway if anyone wants to write that because i am Tired and have no time, just tell me and i’ll be ecstatic

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

the carry on fandom, mostly because the big blogs stopped posting/moved onto other fandoms and the content generally dried up

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

i wrote a fic a couple months ago featuring adhd!arthur and adhd!eames. a genderfluid!eames fic is currently near completion. (i am so EXCITED)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

*grabs my fucking megaphone*

EDDIE CASTILE AND JILL MASTRANO AND ROSE HATHAWAY AND SYDNEY SAGE ARE ALL BI AS FUCK. ADRIAN IVASHKOV IS PAN.

ARTHUR IS PART JEWISH, PART CHINESE AND CAN SPEAK ABOUT FIVE LANGUAGES. HE WEARS JOGGERS AND BEANIES WHEN HE’S NOT WORKING. HE IS A CLASSICALLY TRAINED MUSICIAN AND LIKES TO SING

IN SOME CROSSOVER VERSE, Q AND ARTHUR ARE DEFINITELY COUSINS

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

arthur (inception), q (skyfall/spectre), eddie castile (vampire academy/bloodlines)

this is when you notice that i have a type: quiet bamfs who have been whumped by their fandoms quite hard

V - Which character do you relate to most?

arthur. my son my sun my heart.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

“i wasn’t gay until i met you” or “i hate myself for being gay but loving you makes it feel better” because why do straight people think it works like that. also, not a fan of genderbending because the concept is inherently trans and nb exclusive, plus i kind of feel like it messes up the characterization.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

when both/all parties of the otp are absolute bamfs and surprise each other with their competency

and angsty soulmate aus. call me a cheesy, bright-eyed fucker but i love them so goddamn much

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

the NHL fandom (i do occasionally reblog stuff about the pens/marc-andre fleury onto my omgcp sideblog? and i watch a few games every once in a while but i’m not actively invested in it.)

also the yuri on ice! fandom. like i haven’t even watched ep. 12 but i’ll reblog a funny post about it every so often

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

please see all this inception meta that i have:

plot meta, character and plot meta, wardrobe meta