#which I've removed because it's extremely unlikely

[wonder-worker]

"The white rose was [strongly] associated with the Virgin. It should therefore be acknowledged that one of the motivations behind the emblem being adopted by the house of York, and promulgated by Edward IV alongside the sun device, was its religious resonance. The Virgin was a favoured saint of many royals, not least due to her association with fertility, birth and nurturing lineage, and Marian references can be found in political images and narratives of the fifteenth century. Alongside St Anne, the Virgin was a focus of Yorkist religious devotion. Both Edward IV and his mother Cecily, duchess of York (d. 1495), committed their souls to the Virgin in their respective wills, and images of the saint were depicted in the north clerestory windows in the Yorkist mausoleum at Fotheringhay [...] Edward further demonstrated his favouritism by making the Virgin the joint patron saint of the Order of the Garter in 1469."

Matthew Ward, The Livery Collar in Late Medieval England and Wales: Politics, Identity and Affinity

[heckyeahponyscans]

So, personally I would have been fine with G5 MLP being a totally separate continuity from G4 MLP . . . in fact, I would have preferred it. However, I've seen a lot of people express the opinion that it was BECAUSE G5 was connected to G4 that it failed . . . that it leaned to heavily on G4, was too self-indulgent, was too entwined with the previous generation, and wasn't its own thing.

I think that critique definitely applies to the IDW G5 comics, which were frankly embarrassing. (Look, it's Canterlot, remember Canterlot?! Here's Discord, remember fan favorite Discord?! Fluttershy's ghost is comforting him, you liked that ship, right?! Right?!)

But as to the rest of G5--the movie, the Make Your Mark show, and the Tell Your Tale shorts--I disagree. The writers were extremely restrained when it came to referencing G4. The biggest connections are the Twilight Sparkle hologram and grown-up Spike, who shows up briefly. If you watched the G5 shows and nothing else, you would not even know the names of any G4 pony except Twilight, and her relevant G4 lore is just that she was a powerful princess in the past. Like, you could remove Spike and Twilight Sparkle and replace them with new characters Scalewing and Princess Shimmer Song and the story would stay exactly the same.

I was surprised by how willing Hasbro was to move on. In the show (unlike the comics) nearly everything related to G4 is gone or forgotten. No one remembers that the Princess of Friendship was a real person instead of a fairy tale. That apple tree that Sunny and Izzy stop at in the movie is all that is left of Ponyville and Sweet Apple Acres. Everyone in G4 (except Spike) is canonically dead. That is incredible. It's audacious. I love it.

All in all, I thought the concept of a utopia falling into ruin and dystopia was daring and exciting. G5 had problems living up to its potential, the writing was not always the best, and the toyline REALLY needed work, but I don't think any of its failings were due to the G4 connection. And I say that as someone who was really, really tired of G4 by its end.

[synthaphone]

Allowing myself to go on a tangent about the nearly 26 year old virtual pet website that i am way too invested in.

So today they released the Candy Pteri. While I appreciate what they were trying to do here with it effectively having two designs that you get to choose between (The "Melted Candy Pteri" on the left is a Paint Brush wearable that can be removed to reveal the customizable base pet on the right), I think in this case, they have created two extremely boring designs when they could have easily created one strong design, or hell, even two strong designs if they wanted to do extra work.

Because with this release, we get a base Candy Pteri with no real lineart changes (like the rounded hair tufts and spines on the Candy Zafara), and an alternate design that's just... a drawing of a Marshmallow Peep™???

I would have WAY preferred a base Pteri where they did something like give it a little marshmallow dollop shape on its head and in place of the tail tuft, like my friend @darieyrie suggested. Or they could give it the Peep dot eyes and more rounded features! There's all kinds of ways you could do this concept.

I'd be less frustrated if the Peep wearable had any Pteri traits whatsoever, but its JUST a Peep that's been slightly microwaved. Which is a little funny, but even more than the Toy Poogle is just an iDog, the Candy Pteri does not have any deviation from its base inspiration at all. It's not actually an execution of the concept of "Candy Pteri thats based on a Peep" if there's no Pteri left at all!

(also are they just banking on the Just Born corporation (who make Peeps) never taking any action on this? it kind of goes beyond 'cheeky reference', its EXACTLY their product. I mean, it seems unlikely that they'll notice or bother doing anything if they do, but i don't really know why you'd risk that.) The saving graces of this design, imo, are that the pink and cream color scheme of the base pet IS pleasant (though the lineart and shading treatment aren't really my bag), and some people will enjoy the novelty of having a pet Marshmallow Peep™.

But really this is just the latest of a number of recent outfit and color releases that feel like they don't think people want Neopets. Like. This cardinal outfit that they also released today.

I love the idea of a cardinal Pteri! But this outfit literally takes away every distinguishing trait of the Pteri to make a high effort, nicely rendered, but stylistically incongruous generic cartoon cardinal????? Its not even a Neopet anymore!!! Even if I set aside my personal dislike of the overly rendered style they're using for more and more of the site assets, this wouldn't work with most of the rendering removed either, because it would still be a Pteri in pose and proportions only.

Not every new design and outfit that's come out in the past couple years has these issues and there have been a number I've really liked, and I DO think its great that the quality of the art has improved since the JumpStart era. But I would really appreciate it if the new pet colors in particular were designed a little more thoughtfully, so that they at bare minimum still resemble the species they're supposed to be outside of the rough pose and proportions. It sometimes feels like there isn't a rough draft or workshopping progress for new colors, and the members of the art team just kind of do their own thing and then the very first draft of an idea is what gets polished and released.

The current art direction for the customization aspects of the site just has me feeling like they've decided to throw out years of relatively cohesive art and world design for a strange jumble of ideas that don't really capture the appeal or feeling of Neopets to me.

[the-enzyme]

I am working on my traditionally sculpted, resin cast 1:6 scale head sculpt of Raiden by Thai artist numoworkshop. I purchased the head sculpt back in 2014-ish, from his shop on eb6y. I had already modified it since I purchased it, because I am not a fan of painting sculpted hair. I also prefer my toys to have "real" hair, unless they have extremely short hair, which most of the characters I love don't have. I heavily modified it back then, but I always felt that I had a long way to go, before I could call it done or close enough.

However, knowing that I am much older now, I repainted him first to see just how much of a sh1tty job I did the first time. DX That is the first image to the left; I didn't even seal the work and thought "nope," so I wiped it clean and I'm starting from the mods now. Which is the image on the right. I still need to do some more sanding and probably need to add more Apoxie on the right eye to make both as symmetrical as possible, as Raiden is perfect that way... lol!

If it's not oblivious from the second photo, which has the shot of how the sculpt looked straight from the artist. I removed all the sculpted hair, I carved the ear/audio cyborg pieces out of some of the sculpted hair, then sculpted some of the details that weren't there due to the obvious sculpted hair covering those. I carved the left eye out of the eyepatch/band on Raiden's left that was sculpted instead, and of course I didn't do half a decent job, because I suck! Those were the heaviest mods I've done, all at "once" (not literally, they took me quite a few days. Just waiting for the Apoxie Sculpt to dry takes a day, or so..) without first painting and seeing what else I need to change. I feel I did a super lousy job due to that. However, I don't regret it this time. I feel I always do slower mods, so I don't regret the crapfest later. However, this time, with this sculpt, I didn't want to have a custom Rising Raiden, with sculpted hair and a covered left eye.

Because I did pre-order and still own the Hot Toys Metal Gear Rising Raiden, but that one took a bit longer than a year to release. I feel like he was announced sometime in early 2014-ish. He was delayed a few times, if I am not mistaken. I got mine from Japan, so it was as early as possible, unlike getting it from a USA retailer and still got to me until August 2015. I knew I wanted an alternative head sculpt that was closer to the Rising that never was, which was supposed to be developed by Kojima, but then it was not to be created, and Rising was developed by Platinum. Which I don't hate, but did miss the opportunity, to get any figures based on that specific Raiden key art (which had brown eyes instead of blue ones, and that also irked me, but then it never happened anyway!). Not like Raiden is so popular anyway, there would have probably been no figures based on that key art regardless, but I still wanted to have a custom one, so I got this head for that reason alone.

End of mega long rant, just to share my progress, of this head sculpt I purchased more than a decade ago and kept in my closet along with my other resin dolls, so that I could feel they were being kept from aging too badly. I should be working on my other giant resin head sculpts first, but I feel this dude has waited long enough (and I love Raiden, I really need more figures based on him. Too bad no other MGS fans share my lonely Raiden fangirl dreams T__T;;.). (:

[crossdressingdeath]

I am once again begging people to realize that Ivenci does not in fact want to "make Antiva better", that's not why they want the Crows gone. This is someone who straight up let Treviso get occupied by the Antaam who fuck up every city they occupy (and tbh it is actually insane to me that a mage let the Antaam occupy their city after the atrocities in Ventus, which must have happened before the Antaam took Treviso because occupied Ventus is referenced in Eight Little Talons which happens before Antiva is invaded; it says a lot that Ivenci thought that was a good idea). They tried to gas the city with qamek (again, insane thing for a mage specifically to be doing after Ventus, these experienced writers did that on purpose) to remove the Crows and their supporters yes but also anyone who spoke out against the occupation too loudly. Guys, please, Ivenci wants power. We are repeatedly told and shown that they want power. They'd rather destroy the minds of half the city and give those remaining to the Antaam than not have power. Their immediate response to being told they'll be put on trial—with the knowledge of the king and merchant princes, so even if we assume the Crows don't have the legal right to do that they fully intend to cover their bases on that front—for all that treason it is at this point well documented they've been committing is "You can't do that to me, I'm the governor of this city". Them saying the Crows are bad does not mean they're right because they could not more clearly think the Crows are bad because they're getting in their way specifically.

They're not even right about why the Crows are bad; first and easiest the stuff about the Crows murdering people in the street is just straight up nonsense, there is literally nothing in any other game or this one suggesting they do that, they kill people they are hired to kill (and because they're so expensive those targets are extremely unlikely to include random people on the street) and claiming they're as bad as the Antaam (who we do see dragging people away during the first visit to Treviso) is ridiculous. And second... I've said this many times, but defending Antiva is literally the Crows' job. If the people of Treviso or Rook (or Ivenci, although they wouldn't for obvious reasons) went to the king and asked for help to free Treviso, the king would send them straight back to the Crows because defending Antiva is their duty and they do it proudly and as well as they can. Keeping Ivenci in the loop is the limit of what they're really required to do, and frankly given Ivenci is a) incredibly rude, b) wildly suspicious and c) entirely useless it's really more than they deserve, someone please replace this person with a competent governor who actually wants to help their people. Also no I won't ever be over them standing around doing nothing except insisting Crows Bad right outside the field hospital the Crows set up and are fighting to defend from the Antaam in blighted Treviso. This is where everyone involved in this situation who claims to care for Treviso should be putting their money where their mouths are and it is telling and pointed that the Crows do at great personal cost—the Crow casualties dying of blight and getting warped into monsters that the other Crows with Rook's aid have to put down so they aren't suffering and can't hurt anyone was deliberate, can people stop acting like the Crows are totally fine and untouched in blighted Treviso—and Ivenci and the Butcher don't, that was a deliberate storytelling choice and I would like people to stop ignoring it.

Ivenci is not insisting the Crows should stay out of it because it's not their job and they're overstepping; they're saying it because it is the Crows' job and they are interfering with Ivenci's plans, which is in fact evidence of the Crows working as intended in their role as Antiva's defenders (which does make the argument that Ivenci's right about the Crows being bad for Antiva somewhat ironic, given they're walking proof of the Crows being pretty good at their role even while being actively sabotaged and before anyone suggests Rook's doing all the work I'm saying right now that that's not the case, the Crows are clearly doing a lot when Rook's not around, and if you claim it is because we don't see them doing it you'd better be claiming that literally every faction is completely worthless because that argument does not apply to just the Crows). I am begging people to use their critical thinking skills, people saying things you agree with in broad terms and people being right are two entirely different things.

[callmegaith]

I want to know more about your rebels. From the art I've seen, they look very interesting. Tell me more!

ANON 😭😭 THATS SO SWEET OF YOU THANK U SM!!

Well, there are 4 characters that make up a squad. You have:

Pete:

The muscle of the group. He's a hot-head with a shotgun. Pete is the character I use to explore the world of HL the most, since he's the one character I can truly call an oc. He used to be a bit of a scardy cat growing up but when the war happened, being isolated and removed from his family and being forced to work for the combine, his fear turned to anger, and he's got A LOT of it. A bit too much, in fact. The moment they put a gun in his hands and he's had a little bit of that power trip taste, it was over. He no longer had a reason to feel helpless and be scared of the combine, now with his trusty shotgun, he could get up close and personal and make them go bye bye, which he probably likes an unhealthy amount. In his head, though, he thinks it's fine. He's fighting for the good guys, after all. He's doing the right thing. So his violence is justified. And that's sorta the central plot of his character "when do you become the same monster as the ones that hurt you?" Hurt people hurt people, and Pete has been hurt a lot. Though, he believes he's different because unlike the Combine, he loves and cares. The combine wouldn't know what that means, so in a way, his love for Nate and humanity in general, is what he believes keeps him from becoming as bad as the Combine.

Nate:

Nate is the youngest in the squad and the most naive. All he wants to do, really, is survive this whole thing. He just wants to see the sunrise on a brand new day where the Combine no longer exist on earth. He's pretty optimistic about it too which Pete and Marcel often disagree with but ya know, let the man dream. He's the chill laid back joker of the group and the life of the party. The most social out of them but not necessarily the best talker... And he talks... A lot. Like, nonstop. Marcel thinks it's because he's constantly trying to fill his mind with other stuff other than their shitty situation cuz the moment he shuts up he's gonna have to think about it and he's going to collapse. So they just let him ramble. He's a big fan of collecting things (both he and Pete are but he started their collection) some might even view him as a hoarder. Like you'd find him collecting pizza boxes and other useless things simply because... Well, those things don't exist now. They're "relics" of a life pre-war. And he finds that interesting, it brings him comfort even. He's the group's mechanic and the best at handling firearm since he's had the most training, having joined the Rebels before the others.

Marcel and Kit:

2 for one, those two cannot be separated (for Marcel's own good)

Marcel is the medic of the group. He's the oldest in the squad and the most pessimistic. Kit met Marcel when he found him dying on the ground (that's a comic you may or may not have read. I'll link the comics at the end of the ask) after saving his life, the two became inseparable. Marcel is in a very dark place mentally and thus has become extremely fragile. If you ask him, he'd tell you he's not suicidal, he just wouldn't mind not waking up the next day. Kit keeps Marcel safe, both from the Combine, zombies, and whatever threats, but also from himself. Kit wants to give Marcel purpose and a reason to keep living, something to make the days easier to get through, and becoming a medic was that for Marcel. He gets to save lives and it gives him a sense of meaning. It doesn't make him value his own life or anything, but he's at least living to do something good.

Marcel might come off as hostile and aggressive or just very uncaring but, in fact, he cares a lot. You just have to get past his nonchalantness and dig pretty deep to find that part of him. Kit understands he's probably just building walls to protect himself. He doesn't want anyone getting close so no one would miss him when he's gone. But obviously that doesn't work cuz, lmao, Kit ignores that. Tbh Kit doesn't need to bind life force with Marcel to die if Marcel dies. If Marcel dies Kit will likely just die of a broken heart.

That aside, Marcel finds Kit's views on life very intriguing, he's very interested in the Vort philosophical approach to life and death, and the way they form bonds, more spiritually than anything else. And he does end up having that bond with Kit, something so connected to what feels like a greater and higher thing than they are. So cosmic in its nature that it is hard to comprehend. To him, there's something so beautiful and profound about that. It's the idea that one day they will be embraced by that greater thing, so they may become a part of it, but it will happen when their time comes and they're called upon by the cosmos. He's just waiting for that day to come now.

If you'd like to see more of the characters you'll find everything under the tag (HL: change begins with us) or specific characters under: ( oc: Pete, Nate as male 07, Marcel as male 09, kit the Vortigaunt)

If you haven't seen the comics and wanna give em a read:

This is one lore dump and a half but hope you find it interesting, anon. :D again, thank u sm for your interest and curiosity. It means a lot to me!!

[copperbezel]

Zephyr Slip

At the end of last year, before I'd begun working on Bit Cobalt, I ran into some paleoart of Austroraptor, a dromaeosaur (raptor) from Argentina. Austroraptor is one of the largest dromaeosaurs, with a long, narrow, Big Bird snoot, conical teeth that probably point to fishing, and small forelimbs, as well as leg proportions that hint at a runner. Much of the paleoart I saw depicted Austroraptor in waterbird colors, which gave it a soft and friendly appearance, immediately my new favorite dinosaur.

So I drew an Austroraptor and then a robotic one, adding a quail topknot or ahoge feather, and started to think about making a transforming figure that would change from this animal into a humanoid robot. But a transformation from cute robot girl to cute robot girl, except one of them is a dinosaur, seemed a bit redundant, and there would be compromises in both directions that would detract rather than add.

But a couple of months later, I saw a particular motor scooter and something clicked, and the game was on. I love motor scooters, and they're a fantastic accessory for other figures on the shelf. I went through two foamcore prototypes to nail down the transformation, making it as simple and sturdy as I could manage and making sure both modes would scale well with other 1/12 scale figures.

I also started collecting some reference images for details I could nab and integrate, and to nail down the scaling of the scooter.

After I had something that worked, I drew up some concept art for both modes and started modeling. I was able to streamline the design a couple of steps further in the 3D model, and then it was all carving up shapes, fine tuning, etc. Probably the longest phase of modeling was after I had my model roughed out into shape, but needed to build the joints, firm up the edges, define all the contact surfaces, and apply subdivision surfaces. I found it useful to rig the model and set a couple of animation steps in Blender for the two modes so I could simply page back and forth between them.

I had to set the design on the back burner while I worked out the kinks with my 3D printer and built my last couple of projects. Then I made a test print to identify any trouble spots, and after a couple of tweaks to get the feel right, it was time to print and finish the real thing. Zephyr Slip is the first thing I've printed in "color", and thanks to some dyes I need to experiment with more, she won't be the last. That means a much more durable finish for parts that have to slide against one another or clip into place. I did add a gloss coat to some surfaces of the black elements, but it shouldn't show chipping much. (Unlike the kickstand, thanks to my terrible decision to paint its feet.)

Like my previous figures, Zephyr's eyes (and console) are just printed gloss paper under a coat of gloss varnish, and her headlights and taillights have some clear resin poured in over the paint and cured into place for lenses.  Cutting plastic windows like the ones on my Vertigo GT for the lower headlights didn't have the same effect, so they got the same clear resin treatment. The decal designs themselves were made in Blender, because I've given up on Inkscape's interface, but I think they came out okay.

The joints are almost exclusively 3mm ABS rods, although her hip joints are Kotobukiya Hexa Gear joints, which gave me a sturdy pin and hinge in a compact package and without visible pegs. I'm looking into options to make the pegs show less while being easy to remove for the construction and painting process. Despite some care with the tolerances, I did have to widen some peg holes and mush some pegs during assembly to get her pose well and snap together tight into either mode. But everything does clip solidly into place, resulting in a really playable figure. 

As my first fully transforming figure and also my largest, Zephyr Slip is definitely the biggest figure project I've tackled so far, and I'm extremely happy with the results. Posability is probably her weakest area, but she can pounce and emote, and with her solid handfeel and satisfyingly snappy transformation, I'm happy with the design. 

Paleontologically, I've followed most of the proportions of the real animal, although her torso should be a little bit longer, and her tail half again as long. She should also have visible first fingers, and I'm playing into the paleoart meme of bare snouts on dromaeosaurs that shouldn't have them. The proportion of thigh to shin is exaggerated, and the tail should have some left-right sway even if it's inflexible in the vertical axis. But it pleases me that she is both a roughly accurately scaled Austroraptor, and also a fairly realistically scaled scooter (if a bit chunky).

As always, due credit to @aprilpowered and Workbenchmaniac for support and feedback along the way, as well as Nemocyte (Tumblr | Twitter), whose feedback helped me to work out (among other things) the articulation needs of a theropod figure, something I'd never had to think about before.

[therianimal]

Over the course of the past year or so I've begun to realize that I have two different experiences with nonhumanity. The first are kintypes/theriotypes that function in a way that aligns with common kin experiences. I have, while not in active psychosis, experienced "awakenings" wherein I discovered long-term, stable kintypes. I occasionally have both shifts and species dysphoria related to these kintypes, but they are infrequent and non obtrusive.

The second experience is psychotic nonhumanity. It can take a couple forms: cameo shifts and pseudo kintypes. Cameo shifts occur more often under the effects of psychoactive drugs (THC, and strangely enough caffeine), but generally occur amid psychotic symptoms. A common one is the visualization (envisage shift) of supernatural wings that don't look like or correlate with my hawk kintype. They may be massive, filling the entire room I'm in, and come hand in hand with feelings of elation and grandiosity.

The other form of psychotic nonhumanity (and the true topic of this post) is what, in the moment, feels like kintypes with extremely intense shifts. These 'types tend to seem "dark" in nature - for example, vampire is a common one for me. I experience the feeling of being a vampire, while feeling fangs in my mouth and having an overwhelming, obsessive urge to consume blood. I think clinical vampirism/Renfield's syndrome is another way to contextualize those feelings. They are incredibly persistent, demanding my constant attention for hours. If I weren't disabled regardless, these experiences might be disabling on their own.

These feelings aren't necessarily 100% delusional, or "physical" in nature - in psychosis I did not believe I was physically any of the species involved, in the way that many psychotic alterhumans describe. I merely experienced the "on a non physical level I am X" otherkin experience, but in a way that was overwhelming, intrusive, and partially associated with the dark themes of the delusions I did have. Rumination, fixation, and obsession are common elements of my experience with psychosis, and these "types" were experienced in that manner. None of my typical kintypes are associated with either obsession or distress (apart from mild dysphoria).

Unlike common endel experiences I see described, my psychosis "kintypes" disappear when I'm not in psychotic episodes. Like many people on the schizophrenia spectrum, while I always experience symptoms the severity is episodic. Therefore there are days and weeks in which I'm a vampire and up to a year in which I'm not.

Another way of viewing these different experiences is in the spiritual/psychological binary. I view my "normal" kintypes as a mental connection to past lives, which I would label as a spiritual cause. My psychotic 'types are, on the other hand, clearly psychological. I can't guarantee that I've never had a past life that aligns with these experiences (as I believe my soul has had MANY past lives) but these 'types don't feel like a connection to a deep, older part of myself. They feel like an incarnation, a personification of my psychosis itself. It's essentially the most clearly psychological aspect of my alterhumanity.

During the worst of these "intrusive identities", as I guess one could call them, I felt deeply confused about suddenly having new kintypes. I believe I even made a post here about feeling blindsided with new, dark 'types. I even listed these types in my About Me for a while, even though it always inexplicably felt "off" to me. When that particular episode ended I essentially went "Oh, THAT'S what that was!" and removed those from the list. I no longer felt connected to those species. It almost reminds me of fictionflickers, merely in the sense of being powerful yet temporary. It felt more real than reality at the time, as I've heard many schizospec people describe their psychosis.

I am unsure how, or whether, to incorporate these 'types into my identity. Do I dismiss them because they're temporary? Do I dismiss them to avoid "encouraging" psychosis in some way? Or do I accept them as Me during my psychosis, because people in psychosis also have the right to self define? Do I continue to list them in my identities when I'm out of psychosis? Or claim them only when they feel immediately applicable?

I haven't seen much discussion of temporary identities in alterhuman spaces, outside of very different experiences like fictionflickers and therian cameo shifts. If I'm wrong and there's some terminology or small community associated with temporary 'types, let me know. Do these experiences count as "endelity"? I'm tempted to use the term "endel" but I'm reluctant to misstep when my experiences aren't identical to the endels I follow. If you have an opinion on that you can let me know as well.

[aerticent]

🚨🚨I changed my opinion on something🚨🚨

I don't think Elara was actually capable of removing and/or adding in anything to Maven nor do I think she directly altered Maven's feelings towards Mare. Instead I think her manipulation relied more so on heightening and subduing parts of Maven, meaning everything Maven feels was already within him. For Mare, I think the only way his feelings for her were impacted existed as a byproduct of his feelings of jealousy towards Cal being heightened.

To start my explanation I want to explain how I believe Elara's ability worked. Elara cannot add or remove anything so cleanly, rather she adjusts what feeling is prioritized. For instance, Coriane was already extremely paranoid and depressed before Elara began to manipulate her- Elara just strengthened her feelings of paranoia, she didn't add them. Another example- Maven's fear of the dark. Maven implies that Elara directly just removed this, but I think, given everything else I've said/will say, it's more likely that she subdued his fear enough that he ignore it, for a lack of better words, until he naturally grew out of it. However, for Maven it does feel like she just cut it out fully even if that's not really what she did. Thomas is something that Elara did try to fully remove and she failed. Rather than be removed, it's now just painful for Maven to even think about him and so I think this is why she didn't try to outright remove anything moving forward.

(Now I think it could be argued that Maven losing his ability to dream is evidence against this, but I think that really just comes down to how you want to look at it. I'm a bit split on it myself. Due to everything else I think it's unlikely that Elara was able to fully cut it out. However, because it happened around the time she tried removing Thomas, it may be a possibility that Elara was successful with this but didn't want to risk attempting anything like it again due to the risk factor. I think it could also be argued though that Elara just subdued his ability to do so and with all the stress and paranoia Maven deals with, it was that much harder to regain this ability. Could also be that Maven suffers from memory issues! I wouldn't put it past him given that regardless of what Elara is doing, it's still screwing with his mind! So he might be having dreams the entire story he just can't remember any of them when he wakes up.)

All in all- Elara's ability and how she changes Maven's mind relies mostly on a system of bringing things to the forefront or pushing them into the back of his mind. Maybe I was just taking it wayyy to literally when Maven said she was removing things lol but this is my new outlook on it

So back to Mare and my belief that Elara didn't directly touch his feelings for Mare. I say directly because ultimately Maven's feelings for Mare are altered as a byproduct of his feelings for Cal being screwed with.

Throughout the series, Maven never really changes his treatment of Mare. He consistently views her as a somewhat safe space and she is quite literally the only person he truly opens up to. While he does hurt her, he has moments, such as the torture scene, where he shows he still cares for her wellbeing and wants her to be ok.

I'm going to try to explain this as coherently as I can, so in order to do that I'm going to talk about Maven's displays of cruelty individually

The end of GS

Maven's worst act to Mare individually is this scene. If you don't remember, Maven forces Mare to walk through crowds of hateful Silvers to him, proceeds to leash her, and makes her kneel at his feet. In this scene Maven is acting out of his grief for his mother and his rage towards Mare for being her killer as well as holding her body up on a broadcast. Part of my evidence for why this is him making a decision fully uninfluenced by Elara is that it doesn't end up conflicting with anything as far as we can see. What I mean is that there is something Maven does, which we'll be talking about, where he shows some shame/embarrassment because I believe he's aware that it was a moment of him losing control and acting due to his feelings because skewed. With this, Maven really doesn't ever show much remorse for it because Maven was the one making the decision uninfluenced by Elara.

I think this is really important for the story as well. It's really meaningful to me that Maven's first action after Elara died, an action she had nothing to do with, is incredibly violent and cruel. It conveys to the reader immediately that Maven isn't going to suddenly "get better" now that she's gone and it confirms to the reader that Mare was right in her assertion that Elara was just holding his leash- things are about to get much worse because now no one is holding Maven back from doing things like this.

2. The brand

This is the thing I hinted at before. For this, I have to explain my thoughts on Maven's feelings for Cal. Elara, no doubt altered Maven's feelings for his brother- subduing his love and adoration for him and heightening his hatred and burning jealousy instead. Mare's impacted by this because when Maven is thinking about Mare in relation to Cal, or "prioritizing" Cal, he reduces her to an object either brother can possess. When prioritizing Cal, Maven can't view Mare as a person he loves much less a person at all, she just becomes something Maven can hold over Cal as proof he's better. Maven's desire to have Mare at his side is heavily influenced by this burning jealousy for Cal- it's not only about him loving her and wanting her with him, it's also about wanting proof that he beat Cal at something meaningful.

I think the brand is an example of this. When Maven brands her, it's an obvious sign of his desire to possess her and it happens while he is prioritizing Cal. As far as I remember (sorry if I'm misremembering lol) Maven later shows some discomfort and potentially even shame over doing this, because he, on some level, knows that he wasn't acting uninfluenced. However, during the branding Mare mentions to Maven that he's breaking his promise to her of not hurting her given we know how serious Maven takes his promises. This to me reads as a sign that he's not acting out of his feelings for Mare but rather out of his jealousy for Cal.

3. The betrayal

Very simple- Maven's decision to go through with the betrayal fully was due to the kiss between Cal and Mare. I think it's safe to assume that by this point his feelings towards Cal had been altered so he was prioritizing his jealousy but also! Maven is irrational and impulsive and he was hurt by Mare! I think if Maven had been able to really sit and think he wouldn't have gone through with it, or at least he would have excluded Mare from it- but he didn't have that time or opportunity. I think this is why we never really see Maven bounce back with Cal besides their final convo whereas with Mare, Maven basically expresses regret immediately- borderline pleading with Mare to come back to him during the convo in the cells.

For everything else such as Mare's imprisonment, Maven choosing to meet with her so long as there's Silverstone, the notes, etc. I think that can be explained as Maven is irrational. He doesn't really think things through and his feelings for Mare are all over the place. He loves her but he also hates her for being the catalyst for all of this, he loves her and genuinely wants her safe, but he also is prioritizing his jealousy for Cal and his mother's desires. Elara didn't have to change Maven's feelings for Mare because his feelings for Mare were already so incredibly wonky and also! I don't think Elara realized how big of an issue this was going to be! I don't think Elara understood how much Maven felt for Mare and how that, alongside his feelings towards Cal, would ultimately doom him.

Idk I prefer this because I think it's much more Impactful if Maven's feelings and actions did ultimately come from him. Elara didn't insert any hatred or anger, she just enhanced what was already there. Maven was capable of that cruelty regardless of her presence, in fact when she goes that he fully goes off the rails with it (though he was already going off of them before she died for instance the note he leaves for Mare clutched in a baby's hand)

I hope I explained this well, apologies if I didn't!

[isa-ghost]

Watching Ranboo's OCD diagnosis video atm and I feel called out (/lh), but also extremely seen. And actually now a lot more confident in some personal suspicions I've had about myself for a WHILE.

In the same way that Ranboo had been rolling with "ah yes, these experiences are clearly a wombo combo of ADHD and anxiety [and probably some influences from their age(s) at the time and the nature of their job]," I've basically been living the same way but also add autism into that mix.

Originally I was doing the same thing, but it was "well these ADHD traits often overlap with autism, so clearly that's just all this is. I don't have both." (Yes I do)

And for the last,,, year? More? I've been doing the same thing, but this time it's been "well ADHD, autism, and anxiety are a wild ass combination of things that bring a wild ass array of traits and such with them, so clearly all my experiences are just a blend of those 3 mingling and stuff. I don't think I have OCD as well."

Clearly I didn't learn my lesson from before. History doesn't repeat but it rhymes or whatever they say. /silly

Luckily, my journey of,, self-discovery, I guess? Has gone a lot quicker than Ranboo's due to some context:

I'm a psychology major, one that specifically wants to specialize in neurodivergent & mental health disorders, such as the ones relevant and already mentioned in this post. Which btw are very often comorbid with each other. I've done a lot of learning and reading on them, as well as research both personal and assignment-based. As well as. Yknow. Living with them myself.

In other words, unlike Ranboo, I've been learning about this stuff for the last Almost A Decade (What The Fuck) and because of that, I have the ability to recognize things a lot sooner and I also spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff in general.

✨️ Story Or Perhaps Oversharing Time ✨️

As I said before, similar to how Ran was operating under the assumption their experiences were just ADHD and anxiety doing things, I was like "yeah I don't have autism, it's just the overlapping of traits with ADHD."

I WAS wondering if I DID have– as some may call it –auDHD, but was Pretty Sure I didn't for quite some time.

I did loads of reading and such, hearing other people's experiences, etc. It all really rang true for me, and yet I still was like "naaaah, probably not. Idk."

UNTIL. ☝🏻

My dad got officially diagnosed with autism. And when my dad told me about it I was like WELP. How Much More Evidence Do I Need For Myself. (Fun fact! It's more common for people to get the autism from their father's side!) I don't know why it took there being a genetic likelihood for me to have it to finally be like "okay yeah I have autism" when there was already a mountain of glaring evidence in front of me the entire time, but it is what it is.

Anyway. So yknow how I said I've been doing the same thing with suspicions of OCD? WELL...

I've assumed for a veeeery long time now that this wild ass concoction of ADHD/autism/anxiety I have was responsible for,, how I exist the way I do? Because There's So Much Shit these things can do both on their own and as comorbid bitches that I've been like Surely This Is All It Is.

Despite glaring evidence, a few occasions where I was taking those god-awful online quizzes that oversimplify disorders that neurotypicals like to use to quirkify themselves, and the whole OCD Is Also Commonly Comorbid With Some Of What I've Got Going On, I was like "naaaah probably not."

And this time I learned my grandpa has OCD, which strengthened my suspicions even more, but somehow I was still like "naaaah" even though I got the same genetic likelihood factor that had me concede that I have autism.

✨️Smash cut to watching Ranboo's video now, many months later ✨️

Uh Oh! They're Talking About Experiences And Behaviors I Have And Do!

Remove the unique variables that things like Ran's job adds to the equation, but FUCK ME was a lot of it really ringing true.

I know a lot of basics about OCD at this point, obviously, but there's no exact cookie cutter way that OCD presents itself (as with any disorder, basically). And most times, research and reading can't really explain those deeply nuanced and intricate unique ways people with OCD,, have OCD. Not unless you're reading a discussion thread of people sharing and comparing their experiences with those of others. Something I haven't seen much of, surprisingly.

So as I was watching and hearing about more complex parts of having OCD from Ranboo's video, a lot of the things he was saying were OCD-related were things I had indeed assumed were tied to my anxiety or autism rather than attributed to OCD. The borderline paranoia and need for control for the sake of self-preservation, the spiraling related to it, the overthinking, how these things manifested, how they influence socializing, etc etc etc. Especially outside of my immediate friend group and ESPECIALLY within wider fandom spaces, I felt so incredibly seen by the things Ranboo was sharing about their own experiences because I've had them too.

And that is what's finally been the last straw for me to finally conclude that I probably have some form of OCD. Not the version the media often portrays, not the bare bones basic version most people often think of when they hear the name, but Some Form Of It.

The commonality of it being comorbid with multiple other disorders I have, the genetic chance I could have it, the endless list of things I've said or done that are probably attributed to it (or a combo of it & one of the other things going on in this fuckass brain soup of mine), and now hearing there are MORE things I've said or done and still say or do that could be explained by having OCD...

I mean, honestly I should've called it "official" that I have it when I realized I sometimes have to count things or repeat certain actions/behaviors until they "feel right," or when I realized I will fixate and obsess over things out of my control to the point where it ruins my entire everything indefinitely, but uh... better late than never?

So yeah, I'm pretty confident I have OCD now, after over a year or more of being unsure. And it's all thanks to @ranboolivesaysstuff being willing to open up about their own lived experiences with it. That video was the nail in the coffin I needed.

So thank you Ranboo. :) Genuinely. You did indeed help someone by sharing something so personal. <3

[goldentigerfestival]

I'm not really sure where to put this right now as far as where on my blog, so I guess for now I'm going with a separate post that I'll link somewhere for my translation choices for Vesp in particular, since that's what I'm mainly working on at the time of this post.

These aren't everything, but they're some things I can think of that I'd like to clear up in my choices. I'll add things as needed/as I think of them.

Raven refers to Karol as "shonen" and Yuri as "seinen", which mean "boy" and "young man" respectively. He refers to Estelle as "ojou-chan", which means "young lady". In complete honesty, I don't really remember what Raven uses in all contexts for these three in English, if it's the same or not. I'm simply translating these based on how he refers to them in JP. I typically use "my boy" for Karol, as just "boy" by itself sounds weird.

Judith refers to Raven as "oji-sama" (which really seems sarcastic coming from her and probably is lol. She's basically calling him "old man" but "with respect". Jury's out on if she actually means it, but I doubt it lol). Unlike Raven's Rita-chii (a "cute" form of "chan") and Judith-chan, which were translated in the English release to "darlin' ", Judith's oji-sama wasn't translated with the honorific. To keep the fact that she uses one with him, I translate her referring to him as "our dear old man" (and I'll drop the "our" if/as needed).

As I've mentioned on my blog before, Yuri's phrasing is extremely repetitious. In most cases with translation, you'll see people try to create various ways of phrasing sentences/terms/etc when a character uses the same line in JP, say, five times. That's completely normal. In Yuri's case, he uses a good chunk of the exact same phrases constantly. The important thing here is comparing this to other characters and seeing how often he uses the same phrases in comparison, as well as when compared to other options for things he could be saying instead. What I'm saying is that no other character uses, say, the same phrase almost 300 times throughout the game (my tagline is not exaggerating. I did count LOL). Basically, it's purposeful that he's reusing the same words a lot. It's just how he talks. Translating those words in various different ways loses that characterization (in the English version's case, it completely dropped this aspect of his speech despite it being multiple phrases). Since this is a character quirk, when he says certain things, I keep the same words again and again. Some words can of course mean various synonyms in English, and those will be used in other cases, but I don't translate Yuri that way because it loses an aspect of his characterization to do so. He says the same words over and over, so I stick to the same words in English for him specifically. Basically again, if he says the same phrase thirty times in JP, I'm translating it the same way thirty times. It's just part of his character to talk like that.

Rita regularly uses the phrase "baka poi" ("looks stupid"). While this technically has a "direct" translation, the direct usage can't be properly used in English sentences all the time. While she uses this similarly to how Yuri and Patty have repeated phrases, it's trickier to translate the same way every time because of how it has to be incorporated in each situation. I try to keep it as close as possible since it's a characterization phrase, but it can't always be done that way. Basically, she's saying a situation is stupid, and that's her go-to phrase when she thinks something is/seems really stupid.

Patty ends her sentences with a tic oftentimes, similar to Adecor. In the English version, this was completely dropped and removed. My guess is they didn't know what to translate it to (though I find it odd, given that Adecor's is a translation. It's not a literal translation because a literal translation wouldn't work well with his phrase (though a tic doesn't have to make sense, so to me it doesn't really matter if it "makes sense" or not), but they still made the effort to keep it somehow, so I'm... not sure what happened with Patty, or if she's a result of a different team or something, since DE came out so much later). However, I've kept it as best I could in my own translations. Patty uses "nanoja", and a shortened version, "noja". Patty speaks with an elderly "accent" to her words, and this is simply a variant form of "nanoda". It has no direct translation, but like "desu" (basically the same thing but the politer form), it's used for the verb for "to be" and is often used when explaining something. I've translated this, in this particular situation of being a verbal tic and not used for its standard purpose, as "for certain", and the shortened version is "certainly".

Patty refers to Judith and Rita as "Judy-nee" and "Rita-nee", so I translate that as Sis Judy and Sis Rita.

Regarding Don's name, I've made the choice to continue referring to him as Don (Whitehorse, last name as needed of course). Some people may be wondering why I'm not using "the Don". This is because, while "don" can refer to a title:

in Spanish culture, it's slang for a mafia boss as far as I understand, which fits into the Union's aesthetic. However, as that is Spanish culture to my understanding, I can't verify if it was anything beyond inspiration or a coincidence.

in JP, "don" can be short for "dono" but is not commonly used that way, and they don't refer to him as Whitehorse-dono in any context.

...in JP, the game sometimes refers to him simply as "Don" and not "Don Whitehorse", but in a way that seems more like a first name than a title (versus "Commandant" alone, used for Alexei). For example, when Don is about to die, Raven, in that moment, refers to him as "Don" and not "Whitehorse", indicating he's possibly referring to him on a first name basis in Don's final moments out of affection (as a way to say he considers Don his friend, and not just his superior. In Japan, referring to someone by their first name and not their last name often indicates a closer bond, as referring to someone by their last name is more respectful when you're not very familiar with each other, or there's a power hierarchy, and things like that). Instead of calling him by his last name, why would Raven switch to his title instead, of all things, in his last moments? I don't see much point in going from his last name to his title. This isn't to say the English version is necessarily completely wrong or that I condemn their choice, because they may have interpreted the name to be a title. The reason I'm not using it as a title is because, the way the man himself is sometimes referred to, when only "Don" is used, doesn't read to me in the Japanese context like a title being used. It comes across as his first name and is used in a way that seems to imply such (also, Dahngrest is way more casual than Zaphias, for instance). I've conferred with another JP translator on this before and we both felt this way (said translator actually thought, from the get go during translation on their end with no prior knowledge of Vesperia, that that was just his name to begin with and was unsure about it as a title even before I brought it up), so this is really a matter of interpretation, as I doubt I'll ever be finding out from the devs what their intention was. Also, when characters are referred to by their full names, Alexei's name is written as Alexei Dinoia and not Commandant Alexei. In this sense, if his name were written (in the game, in guidebooks, etc etc) as Commandant Alexei consistently, it'd match Don Whitehorse as a title. But Don Whitehorse is used the way Alexei Dinoia is used when full names are used, so I'm really just basing this on context and such. I'm also unsure if they intentionally used Spanish culture inspiration (disclaimer, I don't know anything about Spanish culture, so this is based on research). Again, it's entirely possible, but I can't verify this one way or another, and the way his name is used in context reads to me as a first name and not a title. Basically, the tl;dr is that his name, when only using "Don", isn't written in a way that reads to me as a title, but a name. That said, if I can ever find evidence that it was intended to be used as a title in reference to the Spanish usage, I have no issue correcting existing translations (and again, please note I know basically zero Spanish, so my understanding is based on research). The main reason I'm sticking with Don as a first name here is because there are indicators to me in JP that it's being used as a name. It's entirely possible that they intended to use the Spanish usage, but I can't verify that, so I'm using what I have in front of me to determine my translations.

In cases where I'm dealing with Adecor, his JP tic at the end of his sentences (like what Patty has) is であーる / de a(aaa)ru. This is basically a verb that means "to be" or "to exist" or "it is", etc. It's used as affirmation/fact/etc. The localization uses "I say" for this. Unlike Patty's localization, he does have one, and it's accurate enough (i.e. there's no real direct translation for "de aru", so they picked something that sounds like certainty/affirmation and so on). That said, he does hold the "a" sound with "de aru", so in my translations, I'm using "I say", but translating it as "I saaay" as a middle ground between the localization usage and the utterance in JP.

The Noble Quarter is for some reason localized to Royal Quarter. This is incorrect, and therefore I will be sticking to the correct usage.

I've retained some aspects from the official English version if there was no immediate reason to handle it differently (things like Raven's way of speaking for instance, which admittedly I sometimes have trouble remembering to do. Nothing in the original JP would make me think to tl his speech that way specifically, so there may be cases I miss it. It helps differentiate him as a character, similar to Yuri's very constant word repetition, so I do try to keep it). If something was incorrect (ex. the NQ), I'm questioning the intention (ex. Don), or it's a characterization matter (ex. Yuri), I specifically stick to pure translation.

[beepboprobotsnot]

A little under a year ago, I stumbled across the anime "Frieren: Beyond Journey's End" and it very quickly became a contender for my favorite anime of all time. It is beautiful, and cozy, and packed with meaning in every episode, and I love it. So, since the depth of Frieren's story could use some more attention, I've decided to do a little something that I'm going to call "Frieren-bruary." Every day for the month of February, I'm going to talk about one episode of Frieren, of which there are exactly twenty-eight, so it works out quite well. So, without further ado:

Episode Two: It Didn't Have to be Magic...

Oh boy... this episode. It was extremely easy to find something to talk about from this episode, but much harder narrowing it down to just one. I mean, there's Himmel continuing to save lives from beyond the grave thanks to his inspiring of others, Fern being confronted with Frieren's patient-to-a-fault view of time, and the first fruits of Frieren's quest to understand humanity in her refusal to leave Heiter before his death. But, in the end, I had to go with the theme that ties both halves of the episode together, along with fitting the title.

Early in the first half of the episode, Heiter remarks on how much Fern has been throwing herself into her mage training, pushing back against Frieren's concern that she's overworking herself by saying that, "Even so, I'm glad she's found something she loves." Frieren glances back at him as he says this, as though she has something she wants to add, but she chooses not to. She's likely thinking back to how, when Frieren asked her if she loved magic, Fern's answer was "only somewhat," and how Frieren knows exactly what that means, because she feels the same. Sure enough, when Frieren tells her to slow down, and that she'll get it eventually, Fern reveals the real reason that she's been training so hard. She knows that Heiter doesn't have much time left, and she's beyond grateful to him for raising her, so "I need him to know that I'll be alright when he's gone!" It's nothing to do with magic, she just needs Heiter to not be worried about her being able to take care of herself. And hearing her answer, Frieren simply nods, and wishes her luck.

In the second half of the episode, after Heiter's death and once Fern has begun travelling with Frieren as her apprentice, Fern remarks on Frieren's habit of collecting strange spells, like spells to remove rust, or turn sweet grapes into sour ones, and saying that it's clear that, unlike her, Frieren must really love magic. But Frieren simply repeats her assertion that "We're the same."

Throughout the episode, Frieren repeats her assertion that Fern should be able to understand why Frieren seems to love magic so much. Even as Fern rebuts that "I could've learned any other skill that allowed me to support myself and been just as content. It didn't have to be magic," Frieren has a response that finally seems to get through to her: "But you chose magic." There are two ways to interpret this statement. First is that since Fern chose magic as her skill, there must have been something special about it that drew her to it in the first place. The immediate flashback, where a child Fern looks up in amazement at a spell of her own creation, certainly seems to support that idea.

The second interpretation is a bit more complex. It is that, since Fern has chosen magic as her calling, she might as well try to enjoy it. Throughout the episode, Fern has been talking about magic as a tool, a skill, something to help her make her way through life and nothing more. And there was a time when Frieren acted the same way. Not to get too deep into Frieren's backstory (because we'll get there) she once allowed herself to view magic solely as a tool, something to help her towards her great goal. But now, she's making the conscious choice to stop acting that way, and to start enjoying magic again. As amusing as her determination to uncover weird folk magic is, it's important to remember that it's not in Frieren nature to act this way, and that she didn't always do this. As she describes her search: "It's a hobby, and a good one. I used to go through life much more apathetically before finding it." She didn't always collect magic, but now that she does, her life is much fuller.

Fern acts as though Frieren's passion for magic is some sort of natural love, but Frieren is telling her here that it's a choice. And it's a choice that she wants Fern to make as well. Because even if there's nothing special about magic to make her choose it, she did choose magic, and so she's going to live a much more pleasant and fulfilled life if she chooses to love her craft.

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[dusty-daydreams]

What bothers me is some people appear to think of Eloise as a "Not Like Other Girls" type of "feminist", which is not how I read her at all. I don't see her as thinking any less of other ladies, she just has nothing in common with them. Which is probably very lonely! And yes, unlike other women out in society, she does have the privilege of a family that will support her in spite of her radical politics, and she has been growing (and needs to do more growing) in her understanding of that privilege. (She can daydream about being a spinster because she can afford to be one.) But I've really liked her arc this season, with her trying to make new female friends even as she struggles to find commonalities.

I totally agree Anon!

Eloise is absolutely not a ‘Not like Other Girls’ woman. Just because she thinks differently than other people around does not make her a ‘Not like Other Girls’ because she (for the most part) doesn’t disparage other women when Francesca says she wants to take a “get it over with” approach to the marriage mart she is supportive. When she finds out that Penelope enjoys society and high society events, she indirectly apologises for acting in away that meant that Penelope couldn’t talk to her about it.

Plus for the most part her frustration is directed at men who view women as inferior, and at sexist systems.

I had hoped that this season would have had her continue to build on her progress last season when she began to realise she is not the first person to have these ideas, and in fact there is a brewing grass roots movement going on. That storyline could have continued without her visiting the radicals, by showing her reading things or talking to Benedict about the rights of the working classes or trying to discuss aspects of her feminism with Cressida. Like seriously I think queen bitch Cressida would be all for certain feminist ideals at the time like changing laws surrounding property ownership, and inheritance.

However I wish the show would have her family be more emotionally supportive towards her, like she has a comparatively very good home life, but it feels like most of her siblings treat her and her politics as a bit of a joke.

Which leads me to my other point, I don’t think the show actually knows what to do with Eloise and her feminism and they too often treat it like a joke. The show has become so unrooted from historical realities that the misogyny in the setting is extremely vague and changes to suit the plot, which makes having a character that is coherently fighting against that misogyny impossible.

Like Eloise went from arguing that women should be allowed to be admitted to university in season 1 when things were (a little bit) more historically grounded, to very vaguely saying that Women would have so much more time on their hands if they didn’t have to think about marriage all the time.

The devolution in the show is clear, in season 1, the alternate history was the removing of (certain types of) racism from admits English nobility and gentry, but the misogyny of 1813 was alive and well, women needed to marry because that was where her value and security was, women didn’t have alternatives to marriage for economic security. Now in 1815 and with the fantasy of the show taking over - women need to marry because what - that’s what she is supposed to do, and that social pressure is bad - but it’s not a true systemic problem?

Basically the show has lost any historical grounding it could have claimed to had, and as such Eloise’s feminism is just as vague as the misogyny she is fighting against. Which means that the show inevitably plays Eloise being a character in a Romance show that disdains romance a joke and not an interesting facet of her character the way it was shaping up to be in season 2

That said I did enjoy an Eloise cut off from a Penelope that pretended to care and agree with her politics, trying to make new friends, and trying to honestly engage in their interests.

[tarakaybee]

I Was Right (Oxventure Wyrdwood Thoughts)

In the past on this extremely low follower blog of mine, I've talked about how I liked Oxventure for the first few sessions before it deteriorated into unstructured nonsense with no emotional stakes, no story, and no interesting gameplay and I stopped watching after they started to become repetitive, derivative, uninspired and a lot of other mean words. The reason that I fixated on its problems is because I genuinely thought everybody involved was extremely talented, I could vividly imagine a slightly better version that I would've loved, if only they had greater ambitions than just doing gags for six years like they were writing The Beano. I've been thinking on this a lot, but I remember that I quickly emotionally connected with the five player characters in the early campaign and some of the early NPCs, and my villain origin story for my many frustrations with Oxventure was that I felt embarrassed for emotionally investing myself when the campaign progressed and it became clear that there were never going to be any emotional consequences for anything.

I think everybody should play D&D the way that they find fun, even if, no especially if it's a campaign that is being filmed and broadcast, but it irked me that they never engaged with a lot of the fun parts of the game, which are fun and designed specifically to be fun. I'm trying to not sound like I'm gatekeeping, I sincerely believe that they simply never read the books in any amount of detail and never became aware of the interesting parts and would've enjoyed it if they did, because I just don't see how you can be a fan of a game system if you have to remove more than half of the rules to enjoy yourself. I've long held the suspicion that when they started playing they were instructed by Johnny to not worry about understanding all of the rules right away, and the players held the belief for years that the rules were extremely complicated, when they continued to not learn them. Mike in particular makes jokes about how he doesn't understand the rules, like in the lead-up to Orbpocalypse Saga where Johnny explained what spell slots were, Mike made a joke about how the explanation would take several hours because it was so complicated despite the fact that it's literally just a few rows of boxes that you tick off when you spend them, the Paper Mario games have a more complex magic resource system than that and Mike is supposed to be a games journalist.

After not watching the main campaign for several years, I decided to give Oxventure Deadlands a try, and I was surprised that Andy ran a campaign where he was willing to say no sometimes, and sticks to a consistent emotional tone without sacrificing the all-important comedy, and I said on this very blog that if Johnny were to run a campaign in this style where the players were willing to take things seriously that would be absolutely perfect, because Johnny has established their strong storytelling chops in basically every way possible other than during Oxventure Prime.

And I was right!

They were all capable of the kind of D&D campaign I wanted to see, and thought would be more deep and enriching than just going for the cheapest gags every time, they decided to take that leap and Johnny just casually, offhandedly created one of the all-time best campaign settings in episode one of a new campaign. Oxventure Wyrdwood, based on only one episode is absolutely brilliant and everything I've wanted out of Oxventure for the past six years, the first time Johnny actually wrote a story in earnest it was so creative, so inspired, so rich with lore, and unlike some seasons of Dimension 20, they did it in a way that was concise.

All the players are great too:

Luke Dob was a seminal moment for me in my experience of the D&D hobby, the simple combination of half-orc and bard was such a brilliant combination that it inspired a five year long campaign in which I played a character inspired by that same combination. Happen is a very fun concept, I always love it when a player mixes and matches classes and backgrounds, Acolyte is an interesting background for a Ranger that gives Happen a lot of fun depth, and I enjoy the Cadence Dice system so far.

Jane I knew that Jane was going to go for the logical opposite of Prudence, I definitely called that Jane would be a Life Domain Cleric months and months ago. What I liked about Willowfine from the offset is that Jane doesn't play her superficially, she isn't just a healer, she is actually, genuinely kind, her first healing action being to save one of the episode's antagonists was a brilliant tone setting moment for the character and the campaign as a whole.

Ellen Like Jane, Ellen made a brilliant choice of playing against type for herself, but I really like that Ellen's way of playing an extremely selfish character is distinct from the way Jane did and has some obvious nuance to it. Prudence was obsessed with violence and evil magic and generally likes amusing herself, whereas Cressida seems to be more interested in her image and personal pride. Related, I don't think I would've called Prudence actually evil, she didn't do that many obviously selfish things when compared to say, Corazon, she was basically just a dramatic goth who likes the aesthetic of evil. In contrast, Cressida has a selfish motivation that is easier to accurately roleplay without becoming a liability to the party.

Andy It was very obvious that there was some secret gimmick to the way Andy was going to go about things and the way things turned out intrigues me greatly. He was the player that surprised me the most, I love the idea that Robin genuinely has a commoner's stat block until the evil side takes over. Aberrant Mind is a fun subclass, and it looks as though he gained Cure Wounds from his Magic Initiate subclass to fit into the witch aesthetic a little more.

Mike With Mike, this is where my one nitpick lies, I don't think Mike is the best roleplayer of the bunch. The fact that Mike doesn't understand extremely basic parts of the rules at this point has long stopped being funny and genuinely just reflects poorly on him. Why does he still not know how proficiency and attack modifiers work? It's literally a sum consisting of adding two single-digit numbers together, and it's a sum that you're supposed to write on your character sheet before playing to eliminate the brainwork of doing it mid-session. And if doing two minutes of homework to prepare your character sheet before playing a two-hour game of D&D is too much, why doesn't he just use D&D Beyond which adds the two numbers together for you? That's exactly how I learned it, and also the fact that I just read the rules recreationally because I thought that they were fun.

I was surprised that he read what Rage actually does, but then Mike gets confused when Johnny doesn't do the maths to half incoming damage for him, despite the fact that it's not Johnny's job to use Mike's character abilities for him. To put this as nicely as possible, I knew Mike was going to choose Barbarian because if you don't like the game system as Mike seems not to, you at least don't have to interact with it much if you choose the class with the fewest abilities possible. Mike seemed to shine the best in Blades in the Dark, which seems to be designed to have as few rolls as reasonably possible.

Roleplay-wise, I think Mike portrayed Lug as different enough from Egbert that I was happy with the character in concept, but like with his other characters, there is no second layer below the obvious quirks that are on the surface like everybody else demonstrated.

Johnny Johnny was always my biggest problem with Oxventure Prime, I found their DM philosophy and storytelling choices completely mystifying. Why when Luke established that Dob was looking for his sister did this plot get resolved offscreen by an NPC? Why when Andy said he was searching for a pirate treasure did Johnny forget about this plot for two real years and have Corazon find the bulk of it offscreen between episodes? Why did Johnny not write a plot or do any worldbuilding the entire first campaign when not having anything set in stone created massive problems in the final story arc when their farewell tour gets cut short because the players can't remember more than one notable location and only two NPCs? Why did Johnny constantly ask the players to roll for things that were not optional, and then when the player rolls low, just ignoring the result and saying they passed?

In this campaign, with a mere few months of doing actual legwork, in Oxventure Wyrdwood, Johnny crafted a beautiful, immersive and unique story setting. In the first boss fight at the end of the first session, the monster was consistently doing enough damage that it could have killed everybody other than Lug in one hit if they didn't fight smart, and fight smart they did, it made perfect sense for the monster to quickly go down when the other members of the Folkmoot arrived. There were a couple of rules-aberrations, but my problem isn't getting rules wrong, it's not using game mechanics and everybody was definitely engaging more with the gameplay and not treating it like an unwanted obligation this time I feel.

In addition, I love the "Magic Will Have Its Due" mechanic, it's not just cool sounding words that Johnny plastered over the marketing, it's an intrinsic part of the story, and therefore an intrinsic part of the gameplay. This is probably one of the only ways you could outright play anything resembling a horror campaign in D&D, where there isn't so much a consistent looming threat and the stakes take a different form. The main horror module in 5E, Curse of Strahd, is a very well designed story and game experiences, but the horror aspect pretty much doesn't exist in the gameplay after the players level up a few times.

I was cautiously optimistic before this first session, but now I'm actively excited in a way that I haven't been since Critical Role campaign two. I desperately hope this quality remains consistent throughout the remainder of this story. Also, I'm glad the episodes have proper titles and not things like "Water Wonderful World" or whatever.

[kipperlillyforpresident]

Finally found someone else who doesn't care for Lucy (or at least not her characterization/blandness) thank god

Honestly didn't know where to put this before but I'll put it here because of that but idea where (completly unlike canon, opposite even) where Lucy was on-board with rage/rage takeover and just as off-the-rocker as kipperlilly and chose to die because it would light more rage in the rest of them. I don't know. I'll take anything other than her current innocent lamb does-nothing-wrong portrayl

But thank you thank you for being the one person I've seen so far who gets that and doesn't care for it

anon speak and live your truth!! it can be hard when youre in a fandom and the Dominant Understanding of something is so far removed from your own thoughts.

as for myself, like... i like what a lot of fanworks have done with lucy! i like the version of lucy that i have in my head!

but in canon? she's so nothing. ive said it before and i'll say it again (i got a shoutout on twitter for saying this, actually, which was very nice and fun to see): lucy is sooo dead wife montage coded.

honestly like. she had a really strong potential. the idea of her being nice but not happy? that's such a succinct characterization! (one that most of the fandom seems to.,... forget about...?) like. she has potential.

but the players made her into this flawless concept, without ever really... thinking about her as a person? idk. it was very icky. i will never stop being mad about "for lucy". and then in the finale she just is soft. where is that not happy but nice energy? she should be so deeply weird and warped. she should be upset that her best friends were taken over by her goddesses sister and killed her, and that some of them were revived and some of them werent, and that everybody seems to be totally fortgiving ankarna!! she should be cold and frosty...!

alas.

your concept is really fun - it definitely contradicts, canon, but here on ratgrumblr/grundlr/grimblr/etc etc, we love violating canon. we do it well and extremely often. and the idea of her choosing herself as a sacrifical lamb is soo fun.

it also ties into my seven birds au but thats for another post-

[makememadscientist]

I just read A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and watched the SuperCarlinBrothers videos about the Hunger Games series they put out the last few weeks. There were some interesting points made but I actually disagree completely with the theory that proposed Coin orchestrated Katniss being a tribute for the 74th Hunger Games. I think it's pretty clear that there are already rebels in place in positions around District 12 and within the industry of the Games in the Capitol but I don't think they were pulling the strings yet. They may have been instructed to aid any tributes that looked promising but I don't think it would have been anything more than that until after Katniss and Peeta won.

The videos also suggested that, as with Lucy Gray in the 10th Hunger Games and possibly (probably) the twist of the Third Quarter Quell, the reaping isn't beyond tampering with. People love that Katniss isn't a "chosen one" in the books and I completely agree. I think that her being a tribute was completely unplanned for and a result of her love for her sister.

But I don't think this discredits the idea of the reaping of tributes not being completely random. In fact, I think it's possible that there is unspoken pressure to make sure that tributes from District 12 wouldn't necessarily be good candidates because of President Snow's history with Lucy. Yes, District 12 is the smallest and poorest district. And yes, if the Career Districts actually have some people training for the Games it makes sense that they win the most often. But I also think it's telling that District 12 NEVER wins. In 63 years District 12 has won once! I don't think that is unintentional.

Here is where we kind of go into headcannon territory. Now it has been a few years since I've read the Hunger Games trilogy so take this with a grain of salt, but it seems to me that it is possible that a 12 year old girl who is known to be extremely kind and compassionate doesn't seem like an ideal tribute. I think Prim's name being called was random but I also think that it's possible that her pick wasn't as unlikely as it would appear to be.

It is entirely possible that, even though Snow is not the type of person who would ever advertise weaknesses if it could be helped and a great deal of his relationship with Lucy was obfuscated, there is still some lingering whispers about him having a particular problem with District 12 victors even if the specifics are not known. If that is the case, people trying to garner favor may influence the reaping so that tributes that are chosen for District 12 are less likely to win.

From the description I remember of Haymitch and his Games I don't think he sounds like someone who would have been expected to win. I also don't think that Peeta, although strong, would have had the drive to compete well enough to win if Katniss was not there as an incentive. Gale and Katniss both have their names entered more times than most but are also known to be capable hunters. Even the Peacekeepers (if I'm remembering correctly) know that the two are capable. It is entirely statistically possible for candidates like them to never get called at Reaping but I also think it's possible that candidates like them are specifically not chosen for District 12. At best, there may be incentive to just not say the names of people if they seem too capable or at worst their names are removed entirely from the running. If names like Katniss' are removed, suddenly a 12 year old girl with slim odds of being chosen suddenly has higher odds to battle. In which case, in a funny way, Katniss is the very opposite of a "chosen one" as the LEAST likely to be chosen.