#which I��ll take as this being at least somewhat funny

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding XVIII

Part I - - - - - - - - - - - - - Part XV - - - - Part XVI - - - - Part XVII

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

All Conversation stopped when Obi-Wan opened the door.

The air crackled with energy as the assembled Jedi Masters (and Anakin) paused their obviously fierce debate. After a beat, their was the utterly distinct sensation of several Masters releasing their mixed emotions to the force in an overheated wave, leaving behind only serenity (mostly). Obi-Wan’s heart keened. Of course, at the time, the tendency of council meetings to devolve into petty squabbles had been a constant source of frustration but after three years where his only source of debate was haggling over stolen goods...well.

Obi-Wan smiled, aching softly at the sight of the friends and colleagues, miraculously alive and whole.

The Nautolan Healer- the person in the room with whom he was least familiar- cleared their throat and began speaking. “Master Kenobi, welcome. I want to start off by saying you are under no obligation to-”

Yoda cut them off, “A Jedi, Master Kenobi is, Obligated he is-”

“My patient, he is, Grandmaster,” they bit back. “I know soul healing might have been looked down on when you were in training, but I would have thought-”

Master Koth interrupted, disapproval permeating the room, “And we would have thought you would have more respect when addressing your senior Jedi.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Master Mundi blustered.

Chattering rang out as everyone in the room began talking at once.

“Master, are you alright?” Anakin asked urgently.

The conversation shut down again as the group turned to look at the man in question. Who was biting down on this fist and shaking slightly.

“I told you-” Adi Galia began. Argument erupted once more and Obi-Wan doubled over with laughter.

“Something funny, you found?” Yoda asked as Obi-Wan tried to stop laughing. “Share, you can.”

Obi-Wan inhaled sharply, wiping at the corner of his eyes and forcibly pulling himself out of his explosively giddiness, “My apologies grandmaster, i’m afraid it’s not actually that funny- I simply missed the unique tones of a high council meeting.”

“All council meetings are like this?“ Bant asked, sounding unimpressed.

“Some more than others,” Master Koon acknowledged, rubbing a hand to his forehead.

Obi-Wan cleared his throat, “Master Aerdo, I appreciate your support and while I am now doubt in need of the services of a Soul Healer- it is for rather different reasons than...outward appearances have let you to believe. Now shall we all have a seat?”

Koth frowned “All of us? I thought this was a council matter, not a personal one.” Bant and Anakin stiffened.

“It’s both.” Obi-Wan responded calmly. “But beyond that, I assure you, we will be needing the skills of everyone in this room. Master Nu, Master Che- I don’t wish to impose if you need to return to running your own domains, but I would very much appreciate your presence if your willing. I think you will find it worth your time.”

“I wasn’t planning on leaving even if you asked, so I’m pleased to accept your invitation.” Master Nu replied, cheerfully taking a seat. The rest followed and Obi-Wan joined them at the head of the holo table, eyes lingering over the assembled group. He took a breath.

“The first thing you need to know is that I have detailed knowledge of one potential future. A future I intend to prevent. A future I lived through...”

- - - - -

It is necessary to note that everyone in that room had led, in one way or another, a rather remarkable life. This was the main reason none of them could claim that the next two and half hours were the most shocking they had ever experienced. It is more than likely it was the most shocking meeting any had attended.

“We would have seen if the Sith had risen to such power!”

“Oh? Just as we would have seen if the Sith had survived at all? I remember having a similar conversation to this one 10 years ago-”

“We would have noticed- for force sake he’s visited the temple, we’ve all shaken his hand-

“Arrogant, the council has become. Seen this I have. Arrogant, I have become.”

“Skywalker may have a point about mind control, tactically-”

- - - - -

“If what you’re saying is true, though I still think perhaps some more time with Masters Aerdo and Che wouldn’t be unwarranted-”

“Oh, enough all ready Ki. We’re not going to get anywhere if you keep this up.”

“Wait- I actually have something that might help convince you that I do have overly detailed knowledge of the future- we- actually can I get some flimsi? Thank you, Anakin- a few months from now Master Mundi and I ended up trapped behind enemy lines for an extended period of time. It’s hard not to learn a few things about one another when that happens. Here you are-”

". . .”

“I told you that?”

“You, uh, didn’t really have much of a choice.”

“Oh gods.”

“Now, do you believe me?”

“Well...I suppose- I can’t really imagine how else you could possibly know considering you can’t possibly have spoken to-”

“Of course not! Honestly, how would I have been able, even if I wanted to?”

“I have never wanted to steal a message this badly in my life”

“Same”

“Yes, read the flimsi, we all want to. Welcome to, clearly we are NOT.”

Master Koth who had begun to lean suspiciously far back in his chair, fell forward with a clatter, rapidly releasing guilt into the force.

“Yes, well...hm...The force has obviously given you...an unusually wide window of insight. It would be...remiss of us to ignore it.”

“Kriff, we’re never going to know what that note said, are we?”

“No.”

- - - - -

“That’s utterly impossible- I’m sorry Obi-Wan but you’ve obviously been tricked.”

“I’m sorry Plo. Believe me, I know. I- I don’t think they were themselves.”

“If it happened suddenly enough...when we were all in the field, isolated-”

“Being surrounded by our troops is not the same thing as being isolated!”

“Agreed. Explain what you mean by ‘not themselves’”

“Well, I had just defeated General Grievous.”

“Oh, hey! Nice!”

“Thank you, Anakin. I was rejoining the troops after defeating the General- My Commander handed me back my lightsaber, which I don’t think he would have done if he was planning on- well. I began- .”

“Hold on a moment. Do you mean to say you defeated Grievous without your lightsaber.”

“I’d rather not get into the distasteful specifics-”

“Ha! That means he used a blaster.”

“Keep a better grip on your saber, you should.”

“Enough interruptions- please allow him to get to the point.”

“...Master Koon, perhaps you should take a moment to release your emotions.”

“I will do so in a moment, continue Obi-Wan.”

“Yes, Cody seemed completely normal when I spoke to him. I began riding Boga up the cliff face to meet up with a rendezvous when the force started getting...dark. Darker than it had been. I heard- distant screaming. Death. It-”

“Wait, Boga? Whoargh”

“MASTER KOON CALM DOWN”

- - - - -

“...My apologies Knight Skywalker. I have had an...abnormally mentally taxing morning. My control is somewhat damaged...”

“No worries, happens to everyone, right?”

“...Let’s return to the room and discuss this later.”

- - - - -

“To breach the temple, need a force user familiar with our protections, they would...My padawan...dead at this time, he was, yes?

“Yes, Master, Yoda. It- Anakin had technically defeated him four days prior.”

“Technically?

“You- I’m sure you did defeat him- I was unconscious at the time but I’m certain of that much at least- but it was a trap. We were on a rescue mission and- I think Sidious wanted him eliminated at that point, so he could assume full control over both sides.”

“...He really has arranged things to win no matter, hasn’t he?”

"Obi-Wan, the temple purge- how-”

“I- I wasn’t on the planet at the time...”

“Well, do you have any idea what he might have done to control the clones?”

“Yes, I do have one theory actually-  I didn’t witness any of these events first hand, but several months before the purge, one of the troopers killed Master Tiplar in a fit of madness- claimed not to clearly remember doing so and was sent to Kamino to be examined. Later, another clone- Fives- attempted to assassinate the Chancellor, accused him of working with the separatists as part of a conspiracy. The Chancellor’s medics claimed he had a tumor from a parasite on Ringo Vinda but in light of what happened after...well.

“...Why would we not investigate that.”

“Shaak Ti did, but her report was...vague. I only saw her two more times in person between now and the end. Her force presence was- shadowed. Not fallen, but...tired.”

“And you didn’t follow-up? None of us did?”

“...I can not even begin to express how much was happening at the time.”

“Nevertheless, Master Kenobi-”

“To be absolutely blunt I didn’t even remember the report until I was several months into hiding, with little else to do but meditate on the past. It just- fell into the cracks. Like a lot of things.”

“Force. We’re not assigning blame, we’re just attempting to understand. The knowledge of Palpatine...well it helps us understand a bit better how we got to where we are now. But how we got from here to there...”

“Yes, of course.”

“. . .”

“Obi-Wan?”

“Sorry- just...marshaling my memories. As I said before, the last year of the war was increasingly straining, with unrelenting pressure on the Order coming from all directions. None of us were at our best, but it in hindsight I was...still reeling...in particular. From- force I still can’t believe all that happened in six months- fuck. Sorry. Pardon my language.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about us- just keep going,”

“Krell betrayed us horrifically- I don’t think 501st or the 212th ever got over it. Immediately after that was that absolute clusterfuck of a mission- I spent a month in a Zygrian Slave Camp- I don’t even know what we were thinking dressing Ashoka like that- ”

“Wow, wow, WAIT-”

“We were trying to go undercover to rescue the Kiros colonists but obviously it blew up in our faces immediately. I was still healing from the, well, torture, when I had to go undercover as the assassin who killed myself in a Republic Jail to protect the Chancellor. I’d rather not talk about it but needless to say I was still physically and mentally not at my best when Maul returned from the dead-”

“I- Maul?”

“He wanted revenge on me for bisecting him on Naboo- turns out both sith and zabraks are very hard to kill, so that was a pleasant surprise. Didn’t really have time to meditate on that failure before we were training guerilla fighters on Onderara-”

“Wait, Naboo? You mean-'

“Yes. Anakin and Ashoka were still mad about faking my death during the ‘undercover thing’ so that made things- tense. Then Ashoka was sent to Illum for what was supposed to be a safe mission-”

“Oh gods-”

“She got kidnapped along with a number of initiates. Somehow befriended Hondo...so...that worked out fine. I guess. Then Maul and his brother. They. Well they got revenge. Satine died. They wanted to get back at me. I was still censured by the council for my actions from that incident at the time of the temple bombing-”

“You! Obi-Wan-”

“Which meant that when Ashoka was sentenced to death I could barely even speak a word in her defense, which is maybe just as well considering the blind faith we had in the senate-”

“WHAT!”

“Calm down, of course it wasn’t her, but after the sith hells she was put through she, understandably, had lost trust in the order and decided to strike out on her own. I was still trying to clean up that political mess, track her down, not to mention run multiple armies with even less help than before when I got the reports about the rogue clones. Obviously I should have done something with the information, but. Well, I didn’t.”

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, rubbing his face with both hands. When he looked up to face the room, he was faced with various shades of shock and pity. There were several long moments of silence before Master Windu reluctantly spoke.

“... Let’s start with Krell.”

“Right. Right. Well, like I said the last year of the war was...hard. A number of people fell. Krell was the first, I think. His reasons were one of the less...hard to rationalize, even intellectually.”

“Pong Krell I suppose he always was-”

“Still I thought he had gotten over such things...”

“Oh, Kriff.”

“Relax Anakin, they haven’t taken off yet.”

“Oh, remember that one time when he was an initiate- that poor little Nautolan boy, what was his name?”

“Wait, taken off? Mace... who’s leading the my troops right now?”

“Master, before you freak out, they’re still on Coruscant.”

“Master Gallia, I don’t think that’s entirely fair- you can’t judge a Master by what they did as an initiate-”

“Ok, ok. I suppose take off must have been delayed due to my- well. When are they schedule to leave?”

“We can’t judge a Jedi by if they might fall, we could only judge them by their current actions.”

“Sundown? That- force. I had the start of a plan but- that’s enough time- but if you replace him...Sith Hells. I need things to proceed normally but kriff, there’s just not enough time. I- I don’t know if I can save everyone-”

“We’ll figure it out, Obi-Wan.”

“I- we’re coming back to this Windu- That was very well said Master Koon and I’d like you to hold onto that thought. We, we can’t judge our fellow Jedi for what they might do... good people can fall into darkness, when they’re pushed hard enough.”

“Then Krell...”

“Oh kark no, Krell’s irredeemable. Uh. That is to say. I’m reasonably certain he’s already been deliberately killing his men.

“Kriff.”

“Yes, quite.”

“...Can we go back to the brain parasite?”

- - - - -

“Alright, enough.”

“Agreed. We’re going in circles about the clone’s loyalty- once we finish this meeting we’ll start brain scans at once but for now- Obi-Wan the fallen. The purge.”

“I was on Utapau- I didn’t- I wasn’t there.”

“Master Kenobi, are you stalling?”

“Of course not, I- ok the next Jedi I remember falling was Depa Bilbaba.”

“. . .”

“That’s absurd.”

“Fall, anyone’s padawan can.

“Yes, but Depa-”

“It was a mission to Harun Kul- should I go into the details?”

“Damnit, Kenobi-

“She actually returned to the light, eventually.”

“Impossible!”

- - - - -

“Vos? I suppose he is a shadow...”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, boy-”

- - - - -

“I’m somewhat confused.”

“I wouldn’t say she fully joined the light but...she didn’t want to be dark anymore.”

“You don’t think it was just circumstances?”

“Well, two years after the fall of the republic I ran into her at a bar-”

“Of course you did”

“Oh shut up, like you wouldn’t drink after all that”

“Fair enough.”

“Anyway, she could have turned me in. The bounty on my head was obscenely high, but after all our history... she bought me a drink.”

“He’s definitely stalling.”

“Yes I know...”

- - - - -

“Luminara’s apprentice? She can barely stand violence, even in the hypothetical.”

“Yes...I think that was rather the point. She- she couldn’t accept the Jedi’s role in the war and she thought she didn’t have a way out...”

“Force have mercy on us all.”

- - - - -

“...Yoda...you have to understand, the darkness in the force was overwhelming at that point...you could hardly breath.”

“Master Kenobi, if you are trying to tell us that Yoda fell- I am- not going to have a mild reaction.”

“. . .”

“Obi-Wan?!”

“No, Yoda didn’t fall.”

“FUCK’S SAKE KENOBI DON’T DO THAT”

“Can fall, any of us.”

“DON’T YOU START”

“Deep breaths Master Koth, Deep Breaths.”

“I apologize for the confusion- I was just trying to explain that the last time I saw him, neither of us were in particularly sound state of minds-”

“KENOBI YOU ARE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE AND WE ALL KNOW IT JUST GET TO THE PART WHERE SKYWALKER FALLS INSTEAD OF DRAGGING IT OUT”

"KOTH!”

- - - - -

“...Things were fine. Things were- hopeful. Dooku was gone. We got word on Grevious’s location. I was assigned to go after him. Anakin wanted to come with me, to watch my back. He didn’t want to stay on Coruscant. The council- the council ordered him to spy on the Chancellor. He protested, was uncomfortable with the idea. But he agreed. We made some jokes as we were saying goodbyes. I left Coruscant. Got to Utatpau. Killed Grevious. Thought the war was over. The force got dark. I was shot off a cliff. All the Jedi were dying. My bond with Anakin got dark. My troops felt- like strangers. When I got back Yoda told me he- he was lost to the darkside. Was the new apprentice. Palpatine claimed the Jedi tried to assassinate him. I don’t- actually understood what happened, it was all just a few days... but I have to assume Palpatine...or the person who was controlling Palpatine! Please adi’ka, you know I-

“I know, Master. It’s...Kriff- I don’t- I’m sorry.”

“We shouldn’t have split up. I shouldn’t have left you.

“Obi-Wan...you can’t actually blame yourself for what I did, what I- haven’t done, technically"

“I...”

“Well. That explains-”

“Explains, what Master Gallia? Explains why we shouldn’t have allowed an elderly politician unrestrained access to a child?”

“Master! Don’t say it like that-”

“That explains your stalling Master Kenobi, be at peace. We’re not going to judge Knight Skywalker for unknown actions he has yet to take.”

“Mace! are you all right?”

“Headache. Talk about it later.”

“Tell us who may fall, you did. Judge them prematurely, we shall not. Watch them carefully, we will.”

“...With all do respect I’m not sure the council is capable of meaningfully distinguishing between the two.’

“Master Kenobi! Perhaps we should revisit the ‘attachment’ discussion we had previously agreed to forestall?”

“Oh that is such-”

“Anakin, please allow me. Mundi- shut up or let us read the note.”

“Master Koon!”

“For all the distress being vented, I feel there is a notable lack of compassion in this room and quite frankly I find it unacceptable.”

- - - - -

“So...you didn’t watch the security holograms?”

“Yoda said not to. I think that’s everything- we should start brain scans now.”

“Kenobi...”

“Yes?”

“When Yoda was fighting Palpatine...”

“Master Gallia- not right now”

“Yes, Master Windu.”

“. . .”

“Force Be With Us.”

“Indeed.”

“Quite.”

“Hm.”

“Council Members- if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to get back to the archives. I have a few things I’d like to dig into.”

“Of course. We trust your discretion.”

“Take care of yourself, Obi-Wan”

“You as well, Master Nu. I am forever in your debt for what you brought me.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“...Now what?”

“It’s going to break our ‘contract’ with the Kamonian’s but...we’re going to have to get a clone into the healing halls for a neurological examination.”

“I...might be able to help with that. Without going very far at all actually.”

“What do you mean by that, Master Eerin?”

“Sorry, terribly sorry, I just remembered I have to take care of something-”

“What?”

“This...is rather the part we were hoping for your assistance Vokara-”

“Stay, Master Che. Given everything- I think we’re past the point of needing plausible deniability.”

“You’re... most likely right. Apologies, force of habit.”

“Would either of you care to explain?”

“Well...technically the temple isn’t allowed to care for wounded clones. Doing so would violate their ‘warranty’. However...”

Part XIX

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Do-S Kyuuketsu VERSUS II Vol.1 Ayato VS Laito [Track 1+2]

Original title: 月蝕のよる～total Eclipse～ & 蝕を背負って

Source: Diabolik Lovers VERSUS II Vol. 1 Ayato VS Laito [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here & here

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru & Hirakawa Daisuke

Translator’s note: I’m only two tracks into this CD but I’m already loving the tension between Ayato and Laito. I like how this CD seems to touch upon their personal childhood traumas with Cordelia and how they harbor a completely different feeling towards her. This played somewhat of a part in their respective More, Blood routes as well, so I’m really glad to find out more about it! That being said, they do use a lot of vague expressions when roasing each other, so I hope I got all of the hidden implications right.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 ll Track 6

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 1: ~Total Eclipse~ of the Moon

Ayato: ...The moon is chipped. Tsk...!! No wonder I feel this restless inside...

You approach him.

Ayato: The lunar eclipse, huh...?

*Rustle*

Ayato: ...Ah? Chichinashi. Now this is new.

He turns around.

Ayato: What brings you here at this hour? Were you lured in by that moon as well? Hahaha...

You explain.

Ayato: Well yeah, makes sense. By this point, you’re basically one of us.

Ayato offers you a hand.

Ayato: Come here...I’m sure you know by now that resistin’ is absolutely futile?

*Rustle*

Ayato: Besides, I’m not in the mood for that right now...Come here!

You continue to protest, afraid he’ll suck your blood.

Ayato: Geez...Fuck...You really are a pain in the ass.

*Rustle*

Ayato: I’m not horny 24/7, you know? And here I thought I’d actually show you somethin’ nice. 

You frown.

Ayato: What’s with that expression? Are you disappointed or somethin’? Haha...!

Ayato suddenly lifts you into his arms.

*Rustle rustle*

Ayato: Heavy-hoh...! You don’t see this kind of nice view every day, so let’s take the opportunity to watch it from up close.

He launches himself into the air, eventually landing on the roof.

*WOOSH*

*Thud*

Ayato: ...There we go. We’ve reached our destination.

*Rustle*

Ayato: Chichinashi, follow me. Let’s go that way.

You seem scared.

Ayato: ...Ah? Are you shakin’ on your legs? What? You’re scared of bein’ up on the roof? Geez, what a drag...Come on, hold onto me.

You seem hesitant.

Ayato: What? I won’t try and pull anythin’ funny, promised. ...Honestly, I’m out here showin’ my good heart and that’s the reaction I get in return?

*Rustle*

Ayato: More importantly, look up at the moon! It’s chipped! Hahaha! Surprised?

You mention the lunar eclipse.

Ayato: I figured I’d show you since it’s a rare occurrence, but you know about it? Che...! Yeah, it’s a lunar eclipse. I don’t know ‘bout the details, but you barely get to witness one, right?

You thank him for trying to please you.

Ayato: Aah!? I wasn’t tryin’ to make you happy or anythin’! Don’t be so full of yourself! ...It’s just that the lunar eclipse makes us Vampires go crazy. How do I put it - it makes our feelings and actions unstable - to the point of madness. I guess you could say it shakes us up? I don’t quite know how to describe this feeling...

You seem somewhat worried.

Ayato: Well, that might be why I’m a lil’ kind to you, or why I brought you up here to the roof. 

You ask if he needs to rest for a bit.

Ayato: Ah? I don’t feel sick or anything. I just feel oddly restless inside...It’s a weird kind of feeling. 

*Rustle*

Ayato: So, how do you feel? Well, you’re not a Vampire...But, is that truly the case? Don’t you ask yourself that question at times as well? That perhaps, you’ve longーー

He leans in close.

*Rustle rustle*

Ayato: ーー Become a Vampire.

Your eyes widen in horror.

Ayato: ...Hahaha! Nice reaction! I mean, it makes sense when you think about it. You’ve been teased by these fangs countless of times, being toyed around with, becoming mine...It wouldn’t be strange if you had awakened by this point.

You tell him to stop messing with you.

Ayato: I’m not tryin’ to scare you. It’s the truth, isn’t it?

Ayato pins you down.

*Rustle*

*Thud*

Ayato: Honestly, even if you were to be a Vampire by this point, there’s nothin’ to be scared of, right? 

You shake your head.

Ayato: Vampire or human, it’s pretty much the same thing. As you can tell, our appearance is barely any different. 

*Rustle*

Ayato: The difference is that we suck blood. Also...Well, we just have a few powers here and there, you see?

You insist you’re not a Vampire either way.

Ayato: Yet it still scares you?

He moves closer to your face.

*Rustle*

Ayato: Say, Chichinashi...? ...Even if you were to become a Vampire, I’d still...

Track 2: Bearing the Burden of the Eclipse

Laito: Nfufufu~ Fufufufu...~!

Ayato: ...!!

Laito: Oh geez~ A love scene up on the rooftop? You’re more of a romantic than I thought, Ayato-kun~

Ayato: Laito...!!

Laito: Exactly, the one and only~ ...My bad for interrupting? 

Ayato: Che...Why the fuck are you here!?

Laito: There’s no deep reasoning behind it. Well, like you mentioned earlier, the lunar eclipse might have lured me out here. Fufu~ It messes with our heads a little, you see? So it wouldn’t be that strange for me to be lost in my own thoughts up here on the roof, no? Nfu~ I’m glad it gave me a chance at seeing that romantic side of yours which you usually keep hidden. Fufu...Look, it’s even making the moon flush a bright red. Fufufufu~

Ayato: You bastard...Are you makin’ fun of me!?

Laito: Hmー Not quite...If I had to put it into words, I guess you could say...I’m jealous?

Ayato: Haah...!?

Laito: Because Bitch-chan’s cheeks have become this flushed as she watches you with eyes full of passion...I guess~

You become even more flustered.

Laito: ...Say, Bitch-chan? I’m pretty sure this uncertain feeling inside of me is what you’d call jealousy. What do you think?

You tell him to stop teasing.

Laito: Fufu~ ...I’m not teasing you or anything? You are such a cruel girl. I wonder why you’re doubting my feelings? ...Being honest would make you much cuter, you know? Or at least pretend to be fooled by me. ...Oh, whoopsie~ I blew my own cover. Nfu~ ...However, I really do feel restless inside. I wasn’t lying when I said this might be jealousy either.

Laito leans in, whispering in your ear.

Laito: ...The thought of Ayato-kun stealing you away from me pisses me off. Furthermore, I’d love to just turn you into a mess right here, right now.

Ayato: Oi! You’re fuckin’ annoyin’! Showin’ up out of nowhere...

*Rustle*

Ayato: Just scram already!

Laito: Eeeh~? What if I say ‘no’?

Ayato: Then I’ll push you off this roof!

Laito: Big talk for someone who can’t even do that. ...That technique has already been claimed by me after all. 

Ayato: Che...You’re talkin’ ‘bout that shitty Old Hag? Honestly...Will you ever be able to forget her? 

Laito: Ugh...!

Ayato: Hahaha! What? Did I hit bull’s eye?

Laito: You decide to bring that back up at this exact timing, huh? Ayato-kun.

Ayato: Haah? You’re the one who staーー

Laito suddenly attacks Ayato.

*Rustle*

Laito: ...Fuck off! 

Ayato: ...! ...Kuh...

Laito: Do you think you’re in any position...To mock me like that?

Ayato: ...Aah!?

Ayato fights back.

*Rustle rustle*

*Thud*

Ayato: Whatcha mean...!?

You try to get in between them.

Laito: Oh...

Ayato: You’re in the way, Chichinashi! Stay out of this!

Laito: Fufufu~ You’re such a gentleman, Ayato-kun~ You’re scared she’ll get hurt from getting involved in our brotherly quarrel, aren’t you?

Ayato: Kuh...That’s not it! I just simply thought she was in the way, that’s all!

Laito: Hm...In that caseーー

*THUD*

Ayato: ...!!

Laito creeps up on you.

Laito: ...You wouldn’t mind if I were to hurt her, do you? Like this...

He bites you.

Laito: Mmh...

*Gulp gulp gulp*

Ayato: ...Ugh. You bastard...!!

Ayato grabs him by the collar.

*Rustle*

Ayato: Cut the crap!!

*THUD*

Laito: ...Ah!

Ayato: Keep your dirty hands off what belongs to me.

Laito: Look at you go...However, my blood is boiling right now as well...Ugh!

*THUD*

Laito: ...Owow. Geez, it’s been a while since I went all out like that. My hat’s crooked. Better fix it~ ...There we go.

*Rustle*

Ayato: ...That hurt. Whatcha gettin’ all worked up by yourself, huh?

Laito: Hmm~? I guess we can blame the lunar eclipse for that? Seems like I just couldn’t let your words from earlier slide. It’s rather upsetting how you keep on insisting that I still haven’t parted with that dead woman.

You grab hold of Laito’s arm.

Ayato: ...Ah!

Laito: Hm? What’s wrong, Bitch-chan? Are you telling us to stop fighting? ...But you know, I believe there’s times where you have to keep on going until the score is settled. 

Ayato: Hehe...I agree with that.

Laito: Nfu...~ What a coincidence.

Ayato: We can just decide who is the strongest by pure force and whoever wins get to keep that woman for themselves!

Laito: Makes you wonder which one of us is unable to move on...Fufu~

Ayato: ...Haah? What did you say just now?

Laito: Nfu~ I was just talking to myself. ...Well then, the moon has been chipped nicely. Shall we get started?

Ayato: Yeah! Bring it on!

You stand in between them, begging the two to stop.

Laito: Oh dear, oh dear~ How heroic of you, Bitch-chan! However, only fools get in the way of a fight between two men, you know?

Ayato: Exactly. Step back, Chichinashi.

Laito: Who knows what we’ll do because of this moon after all.

You shake your head.

Ayato: Aahn? What was that, Chichinashi? We’re not fightin’ ‘cause the moon is messin’ with our heads. 

Laito: Exactly, Bitch-chan. The lunar eclipse simply provides a perfect opportunity.  We’ve been unable to bridge the gap between us since forever. Up till now, we’ve simply chosen to constantly turn a blind eye to it, running away. Right, Ayato-kun?

Ayato: Kuh...!

Laito: I just figured it might be time for us brothers to stop running and face each other head on. Nfu~

Ayato: Che...You’re too damn persistent. Go stand over there!

*Rustle*

You lose your balance and slide down the roof.

Laito: ...Woah!

Ayato: ...Chichinashi!? What are you doin’...!? 

Laito: What do you mean? You’re the one who pushed her away too harshy, so she slipped and nearly tumbled down the roof!

Ayato: Che...Fuck off! 

*Rustle*

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi! Don’t you dare let go! I’ll save you!

Ayato reaches out for you.

*Rustle*

Ayato: Come on, grab my hand!

Laito: Now who is the one responsible for this in the first place, huh? ...Are you okay, Bitch-chan? Instead of going for that brute over here...

Laito holds out his hand as well.

*Rustle*

Laito: You should take my hand instead.

Ayato: Shut up! Come on, Chichinashi! This way!

Laito: I’m stronger than you’d expect, so you can rest assured and entrust your body to me, Bitch-chan~

Ayato: Hurry up...!!

The wind picks up.

Ayato: ...This is bad!

You lose your grip and nearly fall to your death.

Ayato: Che...It’s ‘cause you kept on takin’ yer damn sweet time!

*Rustle rustle*

*Thud*

Ayato jumps down, catching you just in time.

Ayato: ...That was close. Don’t scare me like that!

Laito: Ayato-kuuun~ Is Bitch-chan alright~? 

He puts you down.

*Rustle*

Ayato: Che...Oi, Chichinashi. Come with me.

Ayato grabs hold of your hand.

Ayato: I’m sick and tired of havin’ to deal with that guy.

He runs away with you.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[oncelers-panties]

Cheer Practice

Pairing: Oncest (College AU)

Warnings: mild coercion, general n/sfw

Ao3 Link

Once-ler loses a bet and is forced to do something quite embarrassing. To his suprise, he enjoys it. 

In retrospect, accepting to race against a running back had not been the brightest idea.

But in the heat of the moment, he hadn´t thought of that. Not when said running back, a brash guy named Greed, had to become his dormmate. Living with the man was all sorts of awful. Once-ler had to get used to sweaty clothes being strewn all over their bedroom, towers of dirty dishes and take-out boxes in the kitchen, hair in the drain- all such pleasantries. But the worst of it all was being awoken in the middle of the night by either the drunk yelling of Greed´s entire football team coming from the kitchen, or the screams and grunts of lovers he brought along for a good time.

Patient and passive by nature, Once-ler tried to handle it the best he could. He´d politely tell the man to please maybe clean up after himself, to mind the curfew, to quiet down a little during the late hours. Greed would wave it off, replying that he´d see to it, but nothing about his behavior would ever change. All that was left for Once-ler was to let out a defeated sigh and do the job himself, cleaning up the messes left behind by his dormmate´s companions and quietly reciting his studies in his head every other night, hoping it would tune out the creaks of the mattress and moans sounding from a few feet away. He was about to come to terms with the fact that this is how things were going to go for the next few years. But even the meekest of people have a breaking point.

For him, it was when he came back after a particularly tedious lecture, walking straight into the kitchen to soothe his growling stomach with a quick snack, barely able to stand on his legs from exhaustion. To his immense displeasure, the meal he´d prepared the day before had mysteriously disappeared, and so had several bags of his favorite brand of marshmallows. Clenching his teeth, he dropped onto his bed without looking, and noticed too late the pair of some stranger ´s underwear lying on his mattress for some reason.

A frustrated groan sounded from his throat, soon turning into an enraged scream as he stomped into the bathroom where Greed was busying himself with his hair, and threw said underwear straight into his face.

“Dude,” the sportsman said after a few seconds of shock, throwing the piece of cloth away from him “what the fuck was that?”

“I could ask you the same thing! I´ve had it with you and your bullshit! Do you and your buddies have to behave like complete assholes every day?”

Greed gave him a nonchalant look, which only enraged Once-ler more.

“I´m talking about the messes you make constantly, and the fact that I haven´t had a good night of sleep this whole week! Can´t you fuck somewhere else? Can´t you put away your laundry and wash the dishes for once? Can you not tell your stupid friends to keep their hands off of my food?!”

“Ah, that´s what you mean. Fine, I´ll tell them, geez. Not something to throw such a fit over.”

“Maybe for you it isn´t. But some people aren´t happy about living in a pigsty! You either start acting like a normal person, keep this place clean and move your nightly orgies to somewhere else, or go rent a single room, because I´m this close to reporting you! I want to be able to sleep in peace in the room I pay for with my own money, for God´s sake!”

Despite being taken aback by his usually mellow dormmate´s sudden outburst, Greed rolled his eyes, crossing his arms before his chest.

“Look, I need to wind down after a long day on the field, alright? The games are hard, and that´s my way of relaxation. Can´t you just get earmuffs or something?”

“Oh, you poor thing,” Once-ler hissed, voice dripping with venom as he tried his hardest to not strangle the other instantly. “Running back and forth and throwing a ball around. That must be so terribly stressful.”

“As if you´d know,” Greed snarled, “You just sit on your ass inside this room all day, and probably wouldn´t be able to run twenty feet without passing out.”

The two men stared at each other, fuming in silence, until suddenly, an idea formed in the sportsman´s head, evident by the snide smile appearing on his face.

“Listen,” he drawled out, “how about a bet?”

“I´m really not in the mood for that right now.”

“Just hear me out: since you think what I´m doing is so easy, why don´t we have a race? If you can beat me- no, if you can at least somewhat keep up with me, I´ll move out of this dorm, and you won´t see my face around here ever again.”

“And if I lose?” Once-ler responded after a moment of careful thinking. Greed´s widening grin should have been enough to deter him from agreeing to his terms. In fact, he should have told him to go screw himself and report his behavior to the resident assistant. But there was a part of him that wanted to wipe that cocky expression off his face and pay him back for every single sleepless night he had subjected him too.

It went about as well as one can imagine, and as he lay on the ground after stumbling over his own legs, he wished the fall would´ve broken his neck, a preferable option to what he was about to be subjected to later…

 “Well, what are you waiting for? Put it on.”

The commanding voice pulled Once-ler back into the present, and with a shudder and a crestfallen gaze, he once again took in his surroundings. Greed had ordered him to come to one of the changing rooms after his afternoon football training. Why he needed him in this stuffy, cold location that smelled like someone had overdosed on body spray, he had no idea. Probably to make this whole ordeal more embarrassing for him. At least the sportsman had been generous enough not to invite his teammates to laugh along with him.

Pressing his lips together, Once-ler lowered his head, regarding the two-piece outfit he was holding in a deadly grip. It was a cheerleading uniform, consisting of a pleated skirt and a short, sleeveless top that had the name of his college´s football team written on the front. He stared at it like one would at his worst enemy, then slowly turned his gaze to Greed, still refusing to believe that this was happening.

“Do I really have to do this?” he questioned in a desperate tone, watching as the other made himself comfortable on the bench he had taken a seat on.

“Of course,” the man replied in a falsely sweet voice, crossing his legs. “We agreed to the terms of the bet, right? And you lost, so now you gotta do as I tell you.”

Once-ler´s shoulders slumped from the heavy realization that Greed was being completely serious.

“But-“

“Don´t make such a big deal about it, the sooner you do it, the quicker you´ll be over with it.”

The amused tone those words were said in made it obvious that his dormmate was having an awful lot of fun, and it made Once-ler clutch the material of the clothes even tighter, eyes shooting daggers at the other.

“This is childish,” he hissed, shaking his head. “You´re acting like a complete jerk. I get it, you won. You´re better than me. Dozens of people have seen me fall on my face in the middle of the football field, and you and your buddies are not going to let that go until we´re out of college. Haven’t you humiliated me enough? Do you really-“

“Now, Oncie, don´t be like that. You wouldn´t be going back on your word, would you? It´s one thing to be a lousy sportsman, but to break a promise…”

Greed rested his chin on his hand, staring at the other intently, and demanded once again, less playfully this time:

“Just put on the clothes.”

A strange shiver went up Once-ler´s spine at the cold trace of dominance in the other´s voice, and he averted his eyes, suddenly not able to stand his glare. Really, though, he was right. He´d just get it out of his way, leave, and pretend it never happened. Or rather, remember it forever and be tormented by the memory every night for the rest of his life.

“Fine,” he muttered under his breath, shooting worried glances at the door. “But you won´t, like, record it or anything? And there aren´t any of your friends outside, waiting to barge in and laugh at me?”

“Of course not! No one´s ever around here this time of day. Besides, what kind of guy to you take me for?”

Once-ler just scoffed at that remark, deciding not to answer. As he was about to take off his shirt, he noticed that Greed showed no intention of looking away or closing his eyes, so he turned around, taking a deep breath before throwing off his clothes and starting to dress up.

“Where did you even get these from?” he asked during the process, having a hard time squeezing himself into the top that was obviously too tight for him. Which wasn´t surprising, considering that these clothes were made for young women much smaller than him.

“Don´t you worry about it. Turn around, get over here.”

Exhaling sharply through his nose, regretting every decision in his life that had led him to this moment, Once-ler faced his tormentor, unwilling steps carrying him forward. He was expecting the other to cackle like a hyena to the point of stomachaches, but was met with nothing of that sort.

Greed´s insufferable grin waned a little, and instead of laughing out loud he stared his dormmate up and down, gaze getting stuck at the long legs only barely covered by the scant skirt and the exposed midriff. He leaned forward with a whistle.

“Well, damn. That doesn´t look too bad. Willing to bet that my team wouldn´t ever lose a single game if we had you cheering for us in that get-up.”

Flushing at that comment, Once-ler reached for the skirt´s hem and pulled it downwards, embarrassment clear on his face.

“Ha. Very funny. Are you quite done? Can I change back now?”

“Nuh uh. You´re not done yet,” the running back replied, smugly wagging his finger. “What have we agreed upon? If you lose, you put on the uniform… and do a little cheer dance. Don´t tell me you´ve forgotten?”

Once-ler gritted his teeth. Of course he hadn´t forgotten, but he´d hoped the other wouldn´t remember. Again, luck wasn´t on his side. How was he supposed to do that, anyway? He couldn´t even do normal dances, much less gymnastic ones. When he voiced his concerns to Greed, the man just shrugged.

“Just improvise. You´re one of those creative artistic people, so it should be easy for you.”

“That´s not really how it works…”

Wondering whether the other would have held his word were he the one in this situation, Once-ler begrudgingly began to move, staring at his feet to not bear the other´s gaze. His motions were pretty sluggish, and consisted mostly of him swaying lightly from side to side, with a sour expression. It caused Greed to raise his eyebrows critically.

“You know, you´re supposed to do a cheer dance. That doesn´t look very cheerful to me. Can´t you do something that´s a bit nicer to look at?”

“Nicer to look at? What the hell do you expect me to do?” Once-ler angrily snapped at his dormmate as he came to a halt, patience wearing thin. He was already fed up with the other´s behavior, feeling like he was taking this too far. Sure, they had a bet, but Greed really was going out of his way to make it as difficult as possible. How damn childish could that guy be?!

The sportsman, however, didn´t seem to be phased by the other´s rough tone, still staring at him with a strange glint behind his eyes.

“Why not try shaking your hips? That always gets the players motivated,” he purred, and Once-ler, wanting to put an end to it all, swallowed his pride and obeyed. Not that there was much left of it at this point.

However, while he did feel like a complete idiot, there was something else as well, an unexpected sensation that made his face heat up from something other than embarrassment. It was the way Greed´s gaze travelled all over his body, lingering on ever bit of skin. The way he leaned forward, almost seeming hypnotized by how the pleated skirt swung from side to side with each of his dormmates motions, sometimes flashing way more than what would be considered modest. The rhythmic sound of his fingers tapping against the bench, the sight of his teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

What was that all about? And why did he feel like burning up under those mossy-greens, skin breaking out in goosebumps from a sudden wave of excitement washing over him?

Maybe it was because he, for some reason, became aware of the other´s attractiveness in that very moment. Before that, he´s never really had the chance to notice it, mostly because Greed´s insufferable behavior oftentimes detracted from whatever good qualities he possessed. But now, with him sitting in silence, radiating something far more intense and captivating than his usual cockiness, all of his perks shone through in an instant. And God, there were many of them.

“Well, there has to be a reason why he gets this much traction every single week,” a small voice in the back of Once-ler´s head whispered, and despite his best efforts, he could not get it to shut up. He thought back to the many nights he he´d spent awake because of the noises his roommate´s partners had made, and it caused his mind to travel to much darker places on its own. He recalled getting up a night for some water, only to catch a glimpse of Greed pushing some guy against the wall, wrapping his fingers around his neck, calling him his pretty boy as the other writhed underneath him in visible ecstasy.

The resurfacing memory made Once-ler hold his breath for a little too long, legs beginning to shake as he became aware of the direction his thoughts were taking, of how wrong this whole situation now seemed. That moment would´ve been the right time to stop, to tell Greed that he´s had enough and leave, preferably to a place where he wouldn´t have to be around his roommate for a while. But he couldn´t. There was a part of Once-ler that wanted to keep this terrible man´s attention on him, one that made him want to tempt a little more, to find out just how much it took to make Greed do more than just stare.

What would he do, if he were to tease him that much? Get all mean, make some raunchy comments, maybe even bend him over his knee in this same dressing room, lift up that skirt and spank the bad behavior out of him? Or hold him down by his throat, like he did with that other boy, have him crying and gasping from his touch?

A frustrated sound left Once-ler´s mouth, and he forced himself to snap out of it, keep these thoughts from further fogging his mind. Only now did he notice how shallow his breaths have suddenly become, his trembling hands and racing heart, the fact he´d been eating Greed up with a half-lidded gaze this entire time…

“That´s enough, I think,” he managed to stutter out, running a sweaty palm through his hair nervously. “You had your fun. I´m leaving.”

“You sure you wanna go?” the other replied huskily, looking as devious as ever. “Because it seems like I´m not the only one having fun here.”

Light-headed, Once-ler followed his eyes, his face turning pale only to burst into color a second later when he realized that this situation had excited him way more than it should´ve had.

He let out a yelp, covering himself and looking away in shame, gritting his teeth as his dormmates low chuckle echoed throughout the room. And if that wasn´t enough, he felt the man tugging at the hem of the skirt, roughly pulling it up and exposing the hardened dick throbbing beneath tight boxer briefs.

Once-ler opened his mouth to protest, but no sound other than a small whimper would come out, and he couldn´t even bring himself to push the other´s hand away, instead only watching him flick his tongue over his lip.

“Oh my… someone enjoyed dancing for me a lot. What´s the matter? Does little Oncie-Woncie have a crush on the running back?”

“Sh-shut up,” the blue-eyed man weakly shot back, not sounding threatening at all.  

“You can just step away, you know. If you keep standing here like that, I might get the idea that you want me to do something bad to you,” Greed purred, fingertips lightly brushing over the bare legs as he hungrily looked back up to his roommate. “What´s it gonna be?”

The man´s words did something to him, body being shaken by a pleasant shudder as he leaned forward into the touch, heated skin aching for more contact. His clothes felt much too tight, already leaking length straining against the fabric of his underwear, and despite his better judgement screaming at him from somewhere in the back of his mind, he remained in place. Paralyzed like prey before a beast, wondering how far the other would go.

Thus, he didn´t struggle when the other grabbed him by the waist and pulled him onto his lap, making him straddle it. Greed didn´t waste any time admiring the view in silence, cold hands wandering downward, kneading the soft flesh of his roommate´s thighs before having them disappear beneath the thin material of the skirt. The way they traced the shape of his hips and the small curve of his ass forced a whimper out of his mouth, and Greed took that as an invitation to let the tip of his fingers slip under the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down with ease. Humming lowly, the running back stroked the underside of the erect member with his index finger, all the way upwards to the tip, where he rubbed it against the wet slit.

“My, I had no idea you felt this way about me. No wonder you were always so pissed about inviting people over, it´s cause you were jealous, weren´t you?” he sang, leaning towards the other to lick a bead of sweat off the underside of his jaw, teeth lightly pulling on the skin there right after. It made Once-ler clasp a hand over his mouth in an attempt to stifle another moan, and his defiant expression began to melt away with each small touch.

“As if-” he countered, voice breaking off into a sweet sigh when the sportsman´s fingers waltzed across the small of his back. “As if anyone would get jealous about an utter asshole like you. You´re the worst.”

Greed replied with a scoff, wrapping his fingers around the other´s member and giving it a few firm pumps, grinning in satisfaction at how it made Once-ler gasp and squirm in his lap.

“Then why the fuck did you get this hard from shaking your ass for me, huh? Because you are a little freak who´s into being ordered around and has the hots for me, obviously,” he mouthed back, suckling at the nape of that delicate neck as he pulled the trembling body even closer. “So drop the good boy act and behave.”

Those words went right through the blue-eyed man´s already aching loins, and not even the pout on his furiously blushing face and an attempt at an angry glare could hide how he was really feeling.

“Jerk,” was all that he could whimper, followed by a scream when Greed suddenly bit his nipple through the fabric of his tight top, brushing his lips along the narrow chest afterwards.

“Slut,” came the murmured reply as the running back fumbled with the fly of his pants, showing off the sizable bulge in his underwear the sight of which made Once-ler drop any attempt to counter his remark.  “Someone might hear you if you keep being this noisy.”

“I thought no one´s around here this time of day,” the man on Greed´s lap quietly replied, holding his breath as the other took him by the wrist and, after getting his own boxers out of the way, guided his hand towards his manhood. It was hot, felt too large between Once-ler´s thin fingers, and the way it throbbed against his palm made his blood burn in the best possible way.

“That screaming of yours might still attract someone´s attention. Imagine that, getting caught jerking off a football player in the changing room… my, you´d surely get a lot of attention afterwards. I´d have to have to fight off your ‘suitors’ by the dozens,” he heard the other whisper, while his hand was being moved up and down the erect length that he couldn´t take his eyes off. “Like what you´re looking at, baby? Bet you´d much rather have that inside you, though.”

The hot air of his dormmates breath hitting the shell of his ear sent a quiver through his body, and he pressed himself against the other to keep that heat close. Something about the scent of Greed´s aftershave and his strong grip on the small of his back made him feel so, so unbearably needy. He couldn´t stand that guy and hated that smug expression of his, but damn if he didn´t want to steal some low, raspy moans from those lips, along with a kiss or two and some saccharine words of praise. Sure, he would be far from the first one to get to hear those, but he didn´t care at that point, beginning to compliantly pump the other´s dick with steady movements on his own. The action had the desired result, making Greed groan through his teeth and return the gesture with the same intensity while keeping his sight trained on his roommate´s face, taking in every twitch of his mouth and flutter of his eyelashes.

“You know, you´re really cute when you´re not constantly nagging about something,” he panted, lightly dragging his nails across the other´s spine along with his strokes. “You should join the cheer team for real, keep the players motivated. Can´t promise I won´t keep my hands to myself if you distract me too much, though.”

“God, you´re… ah- just so awful,” the blue-eyed man´s voice trailed off when he felt Greed´s tongue flick over his earlobe. Desperate for the other to touch him harder, he thrusted his hips forward, whimpering when the motion caused their cocks to touch.

“For someone that hates me this much, you sure look like you´re having a great time sitting on my lap.”

The running back wrapped his fingers around both of them, bringing their mouths close together but stopping just short of a kiss, smiling at how desperately the other was staring at his lips.

“Earn it,” Once-ler heard him order.

It was enough to make him give in, make him wrap his arms around the man´s neck for support as he steadily ground against him, fucking himself into his hand. The other´s heat was coursing through him with every movement he made, and he couldn´t help but pull on the back of his shirt, panting from how good the friction felt. It only intensified when Greed tightened his grip around the two of them, running his fingers through Once-ler´s hair with a slight pull.

“Pretty,” he softly murmured as he brought the tip of his tongue against his roommate´s mouth, having a taste before finally clashing their lips together.

Greed´s were warm and a little wet, with a talented tongue that sent sparks of pleasure through the blue-eyed man´s veins, caused him to rut against his tormentor like an animal in heat, eyes falling shut and limbs growing weak. As the room echoed with both their moans, he could feel himself getting closer to release, and it took just a few more thrusts- a few more of the running back´s touches- for climax to set in. His head fell forward, coming to rest on other´s shoulder, and he let out a muffled cry when the long-awaited sensation swept over him.

That little sound along with how his body shook with pleasure was just what was needed to push Greed over the edge as well; he groaned in delight, sinking his teeth into Once-ler´s neck again to suck on the creamy skin, catching the hot spurts of their cum in his palm.

Afterwards, it took a while for them to come down from their high, and even when their heartbeats slowed and breathing evened out, they didn´t distance themselves from each other, remaining in place as they were.

A long moment of silence followed during which Once-ler had a hard time deciding what he was supposed to be more shocked by: the fact that he´s just had a sexual encounter with his insufferable roommate, or that he had enjoyed every second of it?

Face still hidden in embarrassment as he tried to come to terms with the situation, he brought his fingers to the spot on his neck Greed had so lovingly bitten.

“If you´ve given me a hickey I´m going to fucking kill you,” he muttered, hearing the other chuckle in reply.

“Consider me a dead man, then. Besides, you should get used to those. Your performance is still lacking, and we´ll need more dancing practice to fix that, love.”

To that, Once-ler could do nothing but let out a frustrated sigh. Somehow, he had the feeling that he wasn´t going to get a good night of rest anytime soon.

[lucarioisinthevoid]

Do you have any plans/ideas on what you're gonna be doing once you finish/get bored with the epilogue+Henry in Hell stuff? (Also, please rest, there's no hurry! Take all the time you need, we'll be here when you feel like writing again)

Ah, thank you so much for the support! It’s very nice to be reminded that I can take my time with these things, though frankly, I hate not being able to give people what they- not want, but y’know, what somewhat are mildly entertained by. This counts thrice over for people who talk to me on a personal basis and for whom I suddenly disappear for way too long. I swear, I just tell myself “I’ll take care of it later” and before I blink, a week has gone by. Also I feel like it makes my things worse, since I don’t read as carefully through them for a second time as I should... alas. It’s better than nothing!

Frankly, I have no idea what to do! I mean, for this blog specifically. Outside of it, I’ll be picking up A Series Of Stupid Ideas, obviously, and it’ll fit great, because I had to put it on hiatus two years (dear fucking god) ago after New Years. At least I hope, I need to reread it again which will be such a cringefest oh god, I hope I’ll survive it Seeing as (fun fact), the original concept of A Guard’s Life was to be a near-endless episodic adventure, ranging in tone from stupid and funny to genuinely disturbing… but it quickly derailed. Because y’know, I’m a top notch writer who has no control over anything that happens- I’ll be writing the one-shots too, but I seriously don’t know what I should be doing with the blog itself! Maybe I’ll just let it die. (Let it die, let it die, let it shrivel up and die! Come on, who’s with me?!) Answer what I get in and let it become less and less over the years. I’d love some input though! Genuinely! A while back I considered after doing this thing to make an actually story-focused blog! Which would have been a more ~classic~ fnaf story playing in fnaf three. Nice and claustrophobic, though not dipping too deep into horror, because I am a coward… and with Ethan as main character because I sure do love spooky stories with detective protagonists. Call me cheesy, go ahead, but that’s the type of stories I grew up with! But making ANOTHER blog, even if just a sideblog sounds like a TERRIBLE idea, especially with my tumblrphobia and lack of long-term planning skill with my work. Hell, christ, I considered making a proper RP account as a sideblog, buuuuut- Yeah, welcome to my messy mind. I assume nothing of these things is what you wanted to hear, seeing as it’s not a true answer- but I hope for some input from you guys honestly! Maybe one of you have some genius idea or can give me some perspective, either way it would be fun. For now the default plan is the most boring: “Business as usual” Eventually the blog will burn out like that and it’s okay.

[tangled-the-series-forever]

Rapunzel and the Lost Lagoon

As soon as I heard about this book, I put it on my birthday wishlist. But alas, my birthday had come and gone. No Lost Lagoon. Apparently my mom didn’t see it on the wishlist, so that’s why. Flash forward to Christmas Day and I held the book in my hands, which were trembling with excitement. Not really, but you get the idea. I had been waiting to devour this book for months on end and I did. So without further ado, I will present to you this handy-dandy post that encapsulates my thoughts on Lost Lagoon before, during, and after reading. I thought it would be fun to record my expectations and compare them to what I discovered. If you’ve read Lost Lagoon, what did you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts! ❤️

Before Reading

honestly, I’m not quite sure what to expect. All I know is that there’s a lot of moments between Raps and Cass and I am ready for them!

maybe it explains how Cass came to be Raps’ lady-in-waiting? (I hope so because I’ve always wondered this...)

I think I’ll like the book as a whole (I’m hoping I’ll love it)

I’m guessing that it is cute, funny, serious, and adventurous all in one

maybe we’ll learn more about Cass?

will Raps tell Cass about her life in the tower?

what will be the ratio of lighthearted to serious moments? Am I more likely to laugh or cry? Probably both 😅😂😂

this book’s design is absolutely gorgeous! 😍😍😍 I literally just stared at it for a while beginning to read it

During Reading

Rapunzel’s hair hasn’t grown back yet? Oh, it’s her first week in Corona. Okay...

“Something was missing. I was hoping painting would help me find whatever that was, or at least help me end the afternoon on a happy note.” (is this relatable or what? I know not to chase after the elusive beast referred to as happiness, but I do often strive to end the day on a good note because I feel like Satan wins if I don’t)

Friedborg is Arianna’s lady-in-waiting? That makes more sense now. I always feel bad not knowing much about her or her background. I hope she makes some appearances in the book (no sooner did I type this than I look down and skim the scene where she teaches Raps how to sit. Crazy, right?)

Eugene referring to Rapunzel as “my girl” (so sweet 🥰)

“Eugene’s warm brown eyes and mischievous smile are irresistible from any angle” (she’s head over heels, ya’ll 😂💕😂)

first look at Cass 🥰 That’s my girl! Not only does she want to be part of the guard, but she wants to succeed her father as Captain! Go after your dreams, girl! I support you ❤️

“I’d rather shovel sheep dung than mend clothes and gossip.” Mood 😂😂

she recently discovered a hidden spot by using maps of an ancient underground tunnel system? How cool!

okay, but Cass’ animosity towards Raps is fair. And the fact that she refers to her as “that girl”? Priceless

names of nearby nations? Like, yes please!

the irony of Cass piquing Raps’ interest in her by leaving as soon as she can after throwing the shot put 😅😂😂

Cass worrying she got herself in trouble by practicing shot put. Poor thing!

the angst Cass feels towards her dad because he wants her to be a lady-in-waiting when she clearly doesn’t... so relatable (it’s tough when a parent’s expectations and our own dreams/desires don’t match)

I didn’t realize Cass created the maps herself! She’s so determined to prove herself to her dad, it hurts 😭😭

I wonder if the pools in Yultadore are what make up the lost lagoon...

“Her enthusiasm was so shiny and bright I had to squint” (I totally understand this)

pretty boy Eugene and his quips 😂😂

Cass trying to keep her distance from Raps by calling her “Princess” and firmly saying “Goodbye” before shutting and locking the door behind her

So that’s how Cass and Eugene met... okay, cool. Nothing too crazy or weird. I don’t know what I expected but it’s nice to know how their battle of wits began

I’m noticing a pattern in the words used to describe Cass: knowledgeable, brave, etc. I think that’s cool because I feel like her pessimism gets a lot more attention in the series. It’s nice to acknowledge her other qualities as well.

Arianna chose Cass to be Raps’ lady-in-waiting. I always wondered how she got the position. I’m loving how many little things this book is explaining 🥰

Also, just noticed the bird illustrations on the page of every new chapter. I wonder if there’s a pattern...

OWL!!! 😍😍 he literally “senses her distress”. I wish we got to hear about how they met

I wanted to cry for Cass. Poor thing just wants to follow her dreams. I like the way the finality of the decision was described. It’s so tragic 💔

“When Cassandra saw him [Eugene], her face clouded over like a stormy afternoon” 😂😂 I love how Cass doesn’t try to hide her feelings about people. It’s true that she keeps personal things close to her chest, but not when it comes to what she thinks of others. Honesty is the best policy, right?

I love how Cass continuously prompts Raps to keep reading the poem. She’s like, “Yeah, yeah, just get to the good stuff” 😂

about that poem... maybe it’s from Herz Der Sonne’s perspective. Could the “truth sealed in precious stones” be a reference to Zhan Tiri’s disciples and how they were trapped within stones? And what about the three gems? What’s the emerald tapestry supposed to be? Does it reference Saporia? I HAVE TOO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

“A few times I thought I heard some rustling behind me, but I kept going” (me: yeah, Raps is definitely following her) 😂

me when I realize the “emerald tapestry” is grass: 🙃

why is Cass so fearful around water? Did someone try to drown her? someone please tell me who is responsible so I can PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE 😅🤣

painfully ironic how Rapunzel can swim despite being locked in a tower all her life and Cass can’t

Raps nonchalantly offering to teach Cass how to swim just warms my heart 🥰❤️

okay, so Cass is responsible for her fear of water. That’s almost worse because it invites shame and self-hatred, which makes it more difficult to push against that fear or overcome it 😔

the importance of Raps agreeing to help Cass even after realizing she doesn’t want to be her lady-in-waiting is HUGE. This is something I feel like should have happened throughout Season 1 but never did (Raps supporting Cass and trusting that she has a good reason for things even if she doesn’t understand)

“But now I have to teach you which fork to eat your waffles with and stuff” 😂

the first time they call each other Cass and Raps 🥰😍🥰😍

woah, I didn’t expect there to be a time jump. I should have known because I kept wondering why they would depict Rapunzel with her blonde hair on the cover if this takes place before it comes back. Anyways...

I forgot to take notes as I read the majority of part 2. I’m currently a chapter or two away from part 3 and all I have to say is that something bad is about to happen. I can feel it. Dahlia’s definitely shady and so is Marco. I suspected Marie earlier but now I’m not sure. She wasn’t obvious until she was but now she’s not again so maybe she is guilty after all? Either way, Raps is making dumb decisions and I’m over here yelling at her to get her life together before she gets killed or kidnapped (whichever comes first, I guess) 😅🙃

Cass is absolutely roasting Rapunzel and I am here for it! Don’t mind me just munching away on my popcorn over here 🍿

Cass said she’s finally gonna leave Corona so I bet Raps will fess up and tell her that Dahlia’s been helping her with the painting for Cass so Cass will let her guard down and think Dahlia’s okay after all. But... she won’t be and they’re gonna realize she was the bad guy after all 😎

didn’t think Cass would get attacked 😅 also, the fact that she is highly skilled and powerful yet trips and twists her ankle is such a mood. Like, that’s literally me in a nutshell. She is beauty, she is grace, and she falls flat on her face 🤣🤣 while I’m here, I’m guessing Marco is her attacker because he probably has a rough voice

Okay, so I guess Dahlia really is innocent then... idk, I still think she could be up to something

I WAS RIGHT!

Marco’s the bad guy and things just escalated quickly cause now he’s got a knife against Cass’ throat 😳😬😵

so Dahlia’s innocent after all... I thought she or Marie might be working with Marco but I guess not (kinda disappointed to be honest)

okay so this Dahlia chick is exasperatingly hilarious 😂😂 she legit took part of Raps’ bookcase to use for an art piece. Like, who does that?

“Pascal shook his head, totally fed up” me too bud, me too 🤣

After Reading

so I did get to see how Cass and Raps first met (also how she first met Eugene as well)

I like how they combined their talents and passions at the end to create the map painting

There were a bunch of lines that made me laugh, although there were just as many that hit me like a knife to the chest (pretty much anything angsty from Cass’ POV) so I like how it made me feel all the feels (I felt like an investigator trying to figure out who the bad guy was and that was a blast 😆)

overall it was pretty good. I did feel like the characters were off (Arianna seemed like she swapped personalities with Frederick at times and Eugene apologized for joking Cass- as if!), but other than that I enjoyed it. There were a bunch of new characters being introduced so it was somewhat hard to tell who was bad and who wasn’t but I guessed correctly in the end. I was hoping there would be more than one bad guy but oh well.

I’m glad I read it because now I know a few extra things about Corona and its surrounding countries (plus I can finally read through all the Lost Lagoon related tumblr posts I saved for later... I was waiting until I read the book and here I am!)

If anyone needs me, I’ll be going through LL tumblr posts. I should definitely be sleeping but that’s not important 😅😂😂

[popculturebuffet]

Quack Pack Episode 22 Review: Snow Place to Hide

So as some of you may know, I do weekly reviews of Ducktales ever since the season started. But quite obviously, that only comes once a week and on top of that we have only two weeks left of episodes before a break and given the last few episodes have stoked my wanting to watch other Disney Afternoon shows, after i’ve taken way too long to get around to watching more of them again despite having D+ for almost 6 months now, i’ve decided to branch out into other shows.  If you have an episode of a show, animated or otherwise, on D+ you want me to review, just shoot me a message and for three bucks, i’ll review it asap. Yes I snuck a promo in there but in my defense.. shut up. More babbling under the cut. 

So with Daisy a coming and me starving for Daisy Duck Content, and Disney Plus for SOME REASON STILL NOT HAVING HOUSE OF MOUSE DESPITE HAVING NO REASON NOT TO HAVE IT ON THERE AND HAVING BEEN AROUND 6 MONTHS, YOU ASSHOLES, I was left with a handful of choices to both watch casually and review. I’m not really intrested in the Disney Junior shows, though they aren’t bad, especially roadster racers, just not my speed. And while I DO fully intend to watch legend of the three cablleros, i’ve put it off too long and i’ve heard it’s excellent, it’s not a place to go for Daisy when, by all acccounts and what i’ve seen of the show, that version of her is godawful and not really approraite to celebrate the character going into her big debut.  Hence,  Quack Pack. I’d been meaning to revisit the show anyway, having seen two episodes that weren’t half bad years ago and despite it’s obvious flaws, being curious about the good in it. For the uninitated Quack Pack was disney’s second Duck show for the Disney Afternoon and followed Donald and teen versions of the boys on various misadventures. Along for the ride are Daisy, anchorwoman for globetrotting news program “what in the world?” and her coanchor and Donald’s Boss , as Donald’s the duo’s cameraman, Kent Powers, a smug egotistical human with weird hair. Yup I said human. One of Quack Pack’s more infamous traits was having humans instead of dog faces (the dog like humanoids carl barks used since he coudln’t use humans himself when he didn’t want to use a duck), which is a choice i’m just.. eh about. I don’t LIKE IT but it dosen’t ruin the show for me and the ducks blend well enough with them, I just question why disney did it when they turned down Goof Troop’s request to do the same, which again worked out for the best. As a result of this weird choice the series is less of a direct sequel to Ducktales and more of a spritual sequel:  it’s still barksian in it’s own way, just instead of focusing on scrooge, like the earlier comics in Barks catalogue it focuses on Donald, and thus bounces between slice of life shenanigans and globe trotting adventure, sort of like how the collection of barks stories I bought recently that’s donald centric starts with the all-time classic old castle’s secret about the family visting castle mcduck to find a hidden foruturne, and then segues into a comedy plot about donald trying to put the boys in chimp suits for a society party because he’s kind of an asshole in the old stories and these stories were kinda weird. I”ll probably talk about some of them at some point.  The problem though is that not only are the boys the focus instead of donald and daisy, but that the boys are insufferable here. They speak like otto rocket and act like zack morris, trying to scheme their way out of work and speaking like they just walked out of a commerical for Whale Cancer. 

F-Yeah. the point is, the three of htem just aren’t likeable or intresting, and it also hurts their paired up with Donald, who as usual is. It’s probably why I remember this ep so fondly: it’s mostly donald focused with the boys off to the side and taking slapstick vengance on a deserving target. But that’s quack pack in a nutshell: a wasted opprotunity that got overhyped as bad and whose good title got used for one of Ducktales 2016′s best episodes which classily didn’t take any real pot shots at it and even snuck kent in as one of the humans trying to murder them.  So with all of that out of the way, what’s this episode actually about? Well basically donald, after flying into a jealous rage over what he thought was her sweet talking another guy behind his back but was really just her cuddling her igauna, which sounds dirty for some reason but is entirely wholesome, is chastized by daisy for being a jealous twit. Daisy herself is jetting off for the weekend to a nearbye ski resort to get an interview with action star Jean Claude.. basically a combination of Jean CLaude Van Damme (the accent and onlyt hat) and Steven Segal (his apperance and skeeziness). Sadly the character isn’t wearing a kimiono the entire episode for accuracy, but he’s also not trying to sexually harass daisy for favors like the real steven segal would. No joke there he’s just a creep and deserves to be called out on it. Also the show missed a massive opproutnity to have him be a seagull named “Steven Seagull”. Just saying.  See Kent, being an ass, is trying to scoop daisy on it and get an interview himself, so Daisy’s trying to beat him. Donald says he trusts her but well.. then he starts hallunicnating. Everyone, i’d like you to meet the green eyed monster of jealousy. 

Why yes, that is a sizeable wolf in a green zoot suit representing Donald’s jealousy and insecurity. Why is it a wolf an not ana ctual monster? Why is donald halluicnating? Does he need thereapy.. I can only answer the last one which is yes. The rest I have nothing but I am here for it. And the wolf is one of the best parts of the episode: if this was just donald getting jealous over daisy, he’d be as much of a dick as his nephews are in this series, but the green eyed monster is a neat representation of the ugly feelings we all feel at one time or another. He sounds intellegent, clever... like he’s saying the right things... donald’s inner voice goading him on even though he knows deep down daisy wouldn’t cheat and he shoudln’t be doing what he’s doing.. which in this case is, as the wolf’s suggestion, taking the boys on a ski trip despite hating sking to find out if hsi fears are unfounded or not.  And while what donald’s doing is a MASSIVE dick move... the episode TREATS it as this,a s him being irrational and insecure.. so it’s a lot easier to deal with. Plus as is standard for comedies he keeps running into scenarios that look like Daisy’s having a good time or in romantic situations with kent by concidence, even though again he should know better. But that’s why donald is who he is: a relatable angry asshat whose just like you and me: because like us we all sometimes sink to our lower instincts despite knowing we shouldn’t. We slip and stumble. Does it make donald following her around okay? nope. But it dosen’t make him unsympahetic either, and he does learn his lesson and suffer plenty of slapstick for it. But that’s the basic setup,donald follows daisy around while his new wolfy pal eggs him on. Meanwhile the boys get cut off sking by kent, calling him “Lime Slime”, real clever guys, and only agree to help donald get kent away from daisy, in reality Daisy is merley sticking so close to keep kent from running off.. and that’s not an overreaction, kent hilarious trys to sneak off the second he’s out of her sight every time and is so inepet at his job Daisy wants to stick around to make sure he dosen’t cost them the interview, which he probably would honestly. It’s good comedic timing and that coupled with the slapstick and the wolf whose damn funny and reminds me , along with daisy in her ski outfit that yes I am bi bi bi till the day I die. It’s not bad. Wait what were we talking about? oh right the boys.. they mess with kent a bit, it’s okay, it keeps them out of the main plot.  Eventually things esclate as Daisy does find Jean Claude who unlike kent, whose unitrested in Daisy and is a sleazy dope for other reasons, very intrested in Daisy who rebuffs him.. and donald witnsess it and realizes he was a dickhead and a skunk, with helpful visual cue for the latter if sadly not the former. Donald of course ends up crashing into their table and Daisy realizes what was going on, and the boys quickly cover for him as entering the weekends ski race. Because of course there’s a race to end this this was the 90′s and goof troop had already done this so Quack Pack had to do the same.  But we get a somewhat charming moment as Daisy admits she knows donald was just covering by agreeing with the boys, and that what he did was NOT okay.. but she gets why. And to me, at least, I get it was less him not trusting her and more him .. simply thinking he’s not good neough. As seen above the wolf appears during the race to goad him again, but I think he’s less afraid of her genuinely not loving him and more afraid she’ll see he’s not good enough, he his, and leave him. But ..s he won’t. This si daisy at her best, willing to put donald in his place for being a dickhead, but still having genuine chemstiry with him and understanding the dope. It’s why I prefer this daisy to one who treats him like garbage without letting him explain (Cabs) or cheats on him constantly with Gladstone because he has money even though he’s a massive selfish dick and donald’s a decent if flawed guy. (the comics depending on the writer). Admitley Id on’t think she should be as forgiving as she is, but whatever. Donald gets injured during the race,learns his lesson.. and for real this time as the monster, himself banged up, tries to goad donald on when donald’s handsome doctor shows up but donald instead does the old bit with hospital beds where he has the thing collapse on the guy. That’s also whyi ‘m not too hard on him: again he gets punished, but in addition he LEARNS from it and realizes he was a moron and is genuinely sorry.  Overall the episode is pretty good. The bits with the boys are incidentaly and likely there only so their actresses can get a pay day, not that i’m against that, Pamela Aldon has mouths to feed and at least one of her daughters had to be born by then, but otherwise it’s an enjoyable throwback to the older shorts that showcases donald and daisy at their best and has an intresting and well designed, if werdly named, side character. While I joked about the weird choice of green eyed monster, I still loved the character as his smooth talking, flashy design, and great use of metaphor meant he was a delight and i’d love to see the design show up int he reboot for something else.  Overall not a bad time for 20 something minutes and far better than i’d of expected of quack pack in the past. Who knows maybe the rest won’t be so bad.. MAYBE. Until next time , courage. 

[fly-pow-bye]

ThunderCats Roar - “Prank Call”

Co-Executive Producer: Victor Courtright

Supervising Producer: Nate Cash

Producer: Marly Halpern-Graser

Story by: Victor Courtright

Teleplay by: Marly Halpern-Graser

Directed by: Jeremy Polgar

I was expecting a lot less from this episode just from that title, that’s for sure.

This episode starts with Lion-O talking about how, as Lord of the ThunderCats, he will not give up on fighting the forces of darkness, as the camera is zoomed right into his face. Gee, I wonder if he's not fighting those aforementioned forces of darkness, but actually doing something really mundane.

Big surprise, that turns out to be the case, as Lion-O is repeatedly punching a TV trying to get it to work. He's not lying about the darkness, he's just fighting against the darkness of a non-working TV. There's more of a joke here than one might realize. This is a problem, because there might not be any TV stores on Third Earth!

Tygra, the down-to-Earth straight man of this reboot's version of ThunderCats, decides to bring out his secret weapon...a TV manual that says "How to Television." If the grammar error was intentional, it really wouldn't fit Tygra as the down-to-Earth and by-the-book voice of reason. Lion-O decides to take all of this to heart and read along with him...

...or, he can just hit it with the Sword of Omens, and let the Eye of Thundara do all the work. Hooray for simplicity! Cheetara may also have a point about there probably being TV stores on Third Earth, because it does get at least one channel that airs the Silverhawks. Kids, that's another show by the same people who did ThunderCats. Maybe if this reboot does really well, we'll get "SilverHawks Squawk."

Unfortunately, this fictional reboot appears to be truer to the original than this one, as it's too slow and boring to appeal to today's kids. At least, that's what everyone seemed to imply about the original ThunderCats. WilyKit and WilyKat aren't swayed by the majesty of Commander Stargazer, and they want to go outside and explore. Tygra tells them that they can't go out to the wilderness by themselves unless they have a chaperone, and he specifically chooses the guy that just hit a TV with a sword. Well, it worked, so I can't argue with that logic.

Lion-O immediately jumps at the opportunity with a audible and visible "heck yeah", but the ThunderKittens respond with an audible and visible "that stinks." Lion-O tries to make his case.

Lion-O: Just us cool kids hanging out, getting into trouble, fun stuff!

Wait, us "cool kids"? Are they or are they not going to go with the "Lion-O is still a kid in a grown man's body" plot point from the original? They never really confirm this either way, though Roar's version of Exodus implies he was an adult even when he was escaping from his exploding home planet. WilyKit and Kat say that if he's a chaperone, he's one of those grownups, with Kat calling him "basically the same as Tygra."

We get a zoom in of his brain at that comment, which is extremely small. This is funny because he's not particularly intelligent. Honestly, I'm surprised he even had a brain. Cheetara comes up, saying that it's also not that bright of an idea to let the "baby king" babysit them, and Lion-O responds that he's basically an adult, which still leaves the answer to the “was he calling himself a kid because he’s still a kid in a grown man’s body” question vague, and there's no manual for that.

Tygra then takes out a book called "How to Responsible". I get it, like how the last manual was called "How to TV". Again, if the grammar error was intentional, it really wouldn't fit Tygra as the down-to-Earth and by-the-book voice of reason.

But no, he's not going to read some stinky manuals; he wants to be cool and hip, not by someone who is literally by-the-book. Lion-O doesn't want to be just a chaperone, he wants to be the best chaperone ever and a general "cool guy". First, he's a cool kid, and now he's a cool guy. I guess that "baby king" comment got to him, if a little bit less than "you're basically Tygra."

Using his and Snarf's knowledge of the coolest things on Third Earth, he takes them out surfing on the waves of the Jade Lagoon, swinging across the Bottomless Gorge, and telling stories about how he convinced a caveman to give him a time capsule. Less than a minute into this outing, the ThunderKittens are already calling him cool...well, almost cool. He rubs his cheeks with enthusiasm at that.

WilyKat points to a big rock with a bunch of pointer fingers pointing to a sign that says "Danger! Evil!! (Bad Stuff Inside!!!)" When the exclamation points get more numerous with each warning, one knows its serious. Even Lion-O knows this, as we don't get the way-too-easy joke about him just ignoring the sign and saying, "well, it must be safe!"

Instead, he tells WilyKit and Kat that they should leave it alone. Snarf nods to this oath of safety, which is fitting for the original Snarf without the annoyance of Snarf's way of speaking. WilyKit is not impressed by this, and says "whatever you say, Tygra."

So Lion-O kicks through the walls into the evil "danger evil" location, and they find a giant crystal in the middle of it. Lion-O gives some pause to interacting with it, thinking that it must be the evil stuff that sign was warning about, but the ThunderKittens immediately go out and touch it. Lion-O tries to raise some concerns, but WilyKit suggests that he's becoming Tygra. They get a lot less subtle about this here; Lion-O outright says that there should be a manual for that crystal. He's just setting himself up for the inevitable "you're just being like Tygra" talk, and he shuts his trap.

In the opposite end of the "how much one shuts their trap" line, the crystal then lights on fire and reveals that it was calling Mumm-Ra. Those telephone sounds aren't just to sound cool; it turns out that this crystal is like a giant telephone, and it only has one number on its speed dial. Mumm-Ra answers what a "who dares to call the tomb of Mumm-Ra", and WilyKit and Kat know exactly what to do.

We get the titular prank call, with WilyKat declaring himself as the evil plumber. Lion-O, again, tries to get the kids to stop doing that, but they respond by reminding him that they did kick his bony butt. Wow, a hint at continuity? Say it ain't so! Well, okay, they're going to kick his bony butt in any other episode featuring him, so it could be a coincidence.

Snarf is even more the voice of reason even if he doesn't use it in this reboot, and Lion-O eventually tells him that he shouldn't be like Tygra. It's a good downwards progression for Lion-O in this episode. He starts out as kind of the voice of reason, and then he just decides to be the irresponsible caretaker that joins in on the mischief.

He does have a reason for that. After convincing Mumm-Ra to screw his cauldron to fix his plumbing problem, causing his lair to flood, they laugh it up. Sure, they angered an evil ever-living guy, but one of the kids called Lion-O the best chaperone ever, so it must be fine for him to do that!

While Lion-O has a brain that is easily breakable, Mumm-Ra's is a bit bigger, as he eventually realizes what's going on. This crystal has a few other abilities, including teleportation, as he's able to reach through the crystal and grab the ThunderKittens right into it. Turns out, this was a crystal he had that he forgot about, even with all the pointer fingers surrounding it, and he knows how to use it. Well, sort of; Mumm-Ra does seem to share Lion-O's hatred of using manuals, as even he doesn't know all the features of the crystal. He doesn't even know where he teleported the ThunderKittens to, only hoping that it took them somewhere nasty.

He does know one other feature of this crystal; it can store and give him evil energies, turning Mumm-Ra into his buff form again. He's not as big now, but at sunset, he'll be at full power. Lion-O would try to stop him, but he realizes that he can't fly, and he's way up there floating on that phone-teleporter-evil-storer crystal.

Mumm-Ra, using the crystal to fly away, goes right back to his pyramid, and Lion-O vows to go to the pyramid and fight him. But not before we get another close zoom-in on his face, getting a slightly off-model shot of him covering his mouth and saying "before Tygra finds out."

For the record, Cheetara guesses it, but Tygra and Panthro are kind of clueless. Hearing some commotion surrounding that evil pyramid outside, they go into the Thunder Tank and drive it, two of them assuming the baby king and the kids must not be there. Tygra may be the straight man in this episode and almost every other time, but even he is fallible.

Lion-O shows up at Mumm-Ra's lair first, and reveals that he found a way against the "but he's up so high" problem: use the robotic Snarf's ability to turn into a jetpack. Maybe he just assumed he had that feature, because he seems to do everything. One can even play video games on him, though they're too old-school for the ThunderKittens. Huh, I realize that's a continuing theme from the last episode, and thankfully for this episode, that's not something I'll say very often.

Unfortunately for Lion-O and fortunately for the TV-Y7-FV rating, he figured out that strategy too late, as the crystal has given Mumm-Ra enough power to be impervious to stabbing. The other ThunderCats show up, and they see that Lion-O just lost the kids.

Everyone knows where this is leading to, but Mumm-Ra has no time for "sorry I'm such a jerk" scenes. He immediately commands silence. Turns out, that crystal takes that as a command to petrify the others into not so flattering poses. One can see Tygra's now-sculpted behind, one cannot unsee it.

He then throws Lion-O and Snarf into the crystal. I would say that if he petrified Lion-O too, the episode couldn't continue, but it's more likely he wouldn't know how to activate that feature again since he didn't read that all important manual. Lion-O’s not the only person who needs to learn a lesson.

It turns out, the crystal teleported to this void, the same void that the ThunderKittens were sent to. They tell him that there's absolutely no way out of this void, which only contains carpet, and they begin to cry about it. It's really over-the-top, with them crying buckets of tears over this situation and blowing their nose with tissue paper. It's not played like a tear jerker scene, it seems more like a "huh, look at how much they're overreacting" joke.

They do throw in one plot-important aspect to that joke, giving it a point: Lion-O asks where did they get that tissue paper from. This scene isn't funny, so we can't use the Roger Rabbit excuse, but it turns out that paper came from somewhere. Let's see Mumm-Ra figure out exactly what it was, as he's gloating about how the ThunderCats are defeated without him even worrying about reading a manual.

Lion-O: You mean this manual?!

It turns out, manuals are good! That's the lesson of the day, kids: make sure to be educated, and Lion-O had to learn this by having every other option be unavailable to him. That's how lessons should be learned!

While he may have found out how to get out of the void thanks to that manual, the sun still sets, and Mumm-Ra's power is now at its maximum. He's big enough to use the ThunderCats base as a chair again. However, he does not c, because reading the manual gave Lion-O knowledge beyond knowledge, giving him the ability to just talk to the crystal to undo all of that evil stuff.

The joke, of course, is that this mystical crystal is more like one of those smart home devices. It's even activated by saying, "hey Crystal", and it talks to him like a Google Assistant or Alexa. See, even ThunderCats has to go with modern times!

We get our fight scene, and yes, one of the actions is a "mummy butt spanking" from Panthro. One can see Mumm-Ra's not-nearly-as-sculpted cheeks, and they cannot unsee it. Outside of that, it's a decent fight scene, with one particularly neat effect throughout it: as one of the evil actions the crystal did was give Mumm-Ra the power, he's constantly fluctuating between his skeletal form and his muscular form. The animation isn't as good as the last episode's, but I'd say the rest of this episode stacks up pretty well against that one. At the end, Lion-O shouts a one-liner to finish this whole scene, echoing the moral of the story:

Lion-O: You should have read the manual! (winks at camera)

Including that eye wink makes that line so cheesy, but I'll accept it. At least it's self-aware about it. He decides to destroy the crystal, which causes Mumm-Ra to revert back to his skeleton form as he falls into the cauldron. Wait, I thought the cauldron was broken! Never mind. In the end, the day is saved, and Lion-O has learned not to trust glowing crystals. That wasn't exactly the lesson, but Tygra accepts it anyway.

Also, there's a "The End" title card drawn in crayon? Cartoons seem quite satisfied with just ending abruptly now, including every other ThunderCats Roar episode I've seen. It's not like this was the end of a running joke, it's just there. Seems like a minor thing to talk about, but I just found it kind of odd.

How does it stack up?

This one feels very similar to Boggy Ben, but it feels a lot more connected. I had no real issues with this episode other than the over-reliance on wacky face gags, something the last episode lacked. It has good pacing, and there's even a moral somewhere in here that the kids could learn.

Again, I was wondering if I should give this one rating or another, but in this case, it's whether it's a 4 or a 5. So far, this is the best episode I've seen, including some episodes after this one, so I might as well give it 5 cats. Maybe there will be better episodes that will make me re-rate this one, and I hope that's the case, but as it stands...

Next, we meet Mr. Driller.

← The Legend of Boggy Ben 🐈 Driller →

[kurtty-drabbles]

Caroline au (the stary herald)

N/A: The plan is in motion.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @discordsworld @bamfoftheundead

How the X-men deal and organize their missions? Is not as mystical as Excalibur would like to believe, in fact, is all about to the technology named Cerebro which can connect all the mutants, however, only Jean or Psylocke, actually, it was something Professor X exclusively dealt in the past, but, with his premature vacation ("I´ll have to deal with family business, Scott, I trust the X-me to you") leave to new changes in the team.

However, the structured of each mission usually falls to Jean Grey´s organization, but, only for today, Dazzler is giving the orders. And to top all of that, she´s speaking as a member of the Pheonix´s cult, which, does bother Jean for some reason.

"X-men, I've got an important mission that needs our attention" her tone is serious, a huge contrast to her bubbly personality, as her eyes, still remain humans(not white and glowing like usually does when she´s being serious) and Longshot does not speak or let anyone interrupt her. "We´re needed in the city of Brimar now" she concludes and many are soaking this information.

Iceman looks at Rogue mirror her extremely confused expression to a tee. They never heard of such a place. "Is it European" sibilated Iceman to Rogue that only shurgs as everyone is confused as Rogue herself, well, not everyone.

"I know where Brimar is" Logan speaks in his grumpy tone and for once is not picking fights with Scott or trying to impress a bemused Jean Grey, instead, he recites a poem that´s not exactly cheerful. "In the deep, he slumbers waiting to exist. Dazzler, you´re taking us to the Brimar City, the lair of Chutlu" Logan explained and no one is seeing his point and even Scott asked what he´s talking about, which for this rare moment, Logan explain without trying to be super macho for Jean.

"Is a dumb urban legend as Dazzler´s firebird," and Logan ignores the nasty glare Dazzler and Longshot gave to him," however, that place is filled with religious nutcases that will gladly rip your skin off is means please their demented god, so, Alison, why in the hell would we go there?" his claws are ready as Longshot´s gun is too.

Dazzler closes her eyes and counts to ten in her mind, now, she understands what Jean Grey suffers every day (she gain a sympathetic look from the red hair) and speaks " A mutant needs our help. No one is forcing you to come, Logan, if you want to hide, then hide, all I´m saying is there´s a mutant needing our help and we must help...or else..." Dazzler paused dramatically and looks at Scott Summers "The Avengers will be right about us"

And this was more than enough to prompt Scott to agree in helping, Jean as well and Logan has no saying in the matter (now, he tries to impress Jean who has no time for that)

Longshot puts his gun down and whispers to Dazzler. "is that one of your visions...or is the plan?"

"I can only say this is a plan and only that" Dazzler replies and that´s enough for Longshot.

______________________________________________________________________

Kitty Pryde is looking at the void and the void looks back at her, and, that should be a cool metaphor, yet, all Kitty can feel is nothing. No fear. No anger. Just a desire to get this over with.

Cosmo and Jupiter are there as they promised, while, sadly, Jupiter can´t do much ''my patron is a dick'' is the only explanation given. Cosmo looks at the young woman with protective energy in his being.

"Kitty?" his tone is gentle as the young woman gazes to the magical dog in front of her. "Hey, Kiddo, I can´t ask for you to cheer up ´cause I know that´s not a cheerful task to do, however, I can say you´re not powerless as you may think. And...you can do this, Kitty" his tone is gentle as his snout rubs on her kneel prompting Kitty to level to his said cold snout to pet the magical dog.

"I just feel this is unfair. I´d not like this...god, if I can call as such" Kitty explained herself in those lines and no more was said.

"Yes, but, you have something squidboy will never have." Cosmo begins calmly "you have the question and that´s something he will never have"

And Jupiter takes this moment to speak now. "Sure, making questions is good and all, but, let´s try to not a philosophy with squidboy"

"Jupiter is right, we have a plan and you," Cosmo said kindly "can do whatever you want as long is in your mind" is a simple explanation that seems to help her mood.

"So, the plan is getting in, take the stone and not die?" Kitty summarize a very delicate plan in one line, well, the cat and dog nods and this is enough. Jupiter hops on the dog´s back(thankfully, the dog does not mind) and speaks in a low tone to the dog(a magical of them) "When you´ll tell me what´s your plan is?"

"When Eternity sings?"

"What´s that even means?"

And the conversation stops as Kitty opens the void to enter. Squidboy is many, many and many things but he´s not exactly careful with security...but...Jupiter feels that now they´re entering in the dog´s plot and he hates not knowing.

_________________________________________________________________________

"Cletus, you've got a mission from our master" a woman wearing a dark robe covering her face entirely, only letting her face being seeing the light for one moment.

Carnage was playing with his new toy. A man who was making too many questions and to top of all had a funny name, this is Carnage´s favourite victim. As the creature rips the now-deceased man´s eyes for fun.

His tendril-like tentacle greets the woman by wrapping and lifting her from the floor. He could kill her any second, but, the woman is not begging for mercy.

"Your new target is the X-men. Our master desires their death, can you fulfil his wish?" and her emotionless voice is enough to make Carnage to let her go, is not fun if his victims don´t fear him.

"X-men? Sure, sure, I think Venom mentioned a thing or two about them" he speaks and them smiles maliciously "before I break his legs and eat it. So, rest assured, our master will have dead X-men in the menu"

The woman says nothing and leaves. Carnages serves no one, but, he sees benefits in offering a hand to Chtulu once and while, sadly, Carnage was never the one to pay attention in his surrounders, especially after he just ''break'' his toys. What a shame indeed, because the room is not as empty as Cletus/Carnage believes. ____________________________________________________________________

A woman with black robes leaves the dungeon-like room and is smiling happily as the fun is just about to begin.

"If anything, I´ll have fun at least, what the cat and dear Kitten are doing now?" the woman´s tone is grave and her smile falter "well, fine, dog, keep your secrets, it does not matter to me" the ''woman'' replied in a somewhat petulant tone.

[faustviginere]

Uninstall

Uninstall. By Joshua Randall AKA Yours Truly

[Lyrics to Goodbye to A World by Porter Robinson]

------ she sat with her hand  hovering over the mouse as memories filled her head, it's not every day you make friends, quite literally, the program was by her design, a sort of digital manifestation of an imaginary friend,   it was at age six on Christmas morning that her mom had given her the handmedown tascom holoclip. a small combination VR device and media player with communication capabilities.   since the day she held it in her hands she was determined  to at the very least related to her peers somewhat,  for they had A/I's of their own, some used them for house hold chores, or to play games with,  but all Cecelia had really wanted. more than anything in the world, was someone, not just someone, a friend.   sure there was her mother, but most of the time she was too wrapped up in work, trying to keep the two of them fed, and having enough rent to stay in the tiny studio apartment, they both shared.   she smiled a bit at the memory of when they decided who's half was whose, and putting up a little blanket wall for privacy. funny enough even after cecelia moved out her mother kept it up. she blinked a few times and found herself aware of her faculties and out of the haze of memory. UNINSTALL Y/N? And below that was the photo of his avatar. smiling, full of innocence, a betrayal of what he had started to become, which was unfortunately of course, unhinged since the virus took hold. she got up from her seat, ignoring the task at hand and made a cup of tea, her mind waltzed slowly back to high school. to jazz band and computer club and kids who ignored her because of the things she liked. but not orph. so named after the tragic greek figure orpheus because whenever she had a rough day or felt down he would brighten her day by producing melodic tones in something he liked to call "singing" sure it was crude like something out of an old video game but it was effective, she would lay on her bed for hours and stare at the ceiling lost in the world of music he would fashion seemingly out of thin air, like electronic magic.   he was always right there in her pocket or in her headphones- helping her remember the answers to tests, she had found a way to bypass the security software during school hours in order to get that little gem out of him. soon enough the cup was empty and she heaved a sigh. and sat back down. looked away and clicked the mouse REPLY : Y. /ARE YOU SURE? REPLY: Y. /WILL IT HURT? she took yet another deep breath, the very  framework of her being seemed to shudder her mind racing, this had to be done, it was for his own good, and hers, she had to let go and he had to say goodbye. REPLY: N. tears, actual stupid fucking tears well up in her eyes over a dumb computer program, .. a dumb computer program that pulled her out of a funk when her first boyfriend dumped her , stayed close when her dad left,  hacked the banking system so she could afford student loans.  just ones and zeros. it didn't have feelings, it was just software.. Right? Lately he had been running strangely accidentally opening programs she didn't ask for, or crashing at random intervals,  then he stopped making sense altogether. his voice garbled and tired like what one would imagine dial up with bronchitis might sound like. then the next he would be back to his old synthesized self. and then things would take a turn once more. the worst of it was when she tried to file taxes online and he kept getting numbers wrong, nearly committing fraud. /ARE YOU MMMMAD AT M--E REPLY: N. there was no, newer version , no patch nor software fix that could undo what was happening, because she had molded him from nothing, it was almost like raising a pet or a child, or in this case a strange mixture of the first two and a ghost in the machine. what was most intriguing to Cecelia was the fact that for some reason, and one she didn't code into him, was his fear of thunderstorms. she thought it was cute, how every time it would rattle the house with it's great resounding din. he would freeze up. if only for a second.  she smiled solemnly to herself. almost blushing at the fact that she held the transmitter to her chest and his LED light shifted from a soft blue to a gentle pink. he was blushing.  she shook her head again. just ones and zeros. a series of coded responses. nothing more. /I'M SORRRY. /DO YOU WANT ME TO SSSSING TO YO U? Orph's Version of singing sounded a lot like a speak N' Spell but he did his best. and some days it even sounded pleasant, especially the bad ones. almost sweet. "ok", she swallowed hard, MSG REPLY: "One Last Time,.. Then You have to go to sleep OK?" /O K` The music softly twinkled out of the speakers as the uninstall protocol ran in the background. the only other sound was the ticking of the clock. she turned away from her camera. and heaved a defeated sigh. it was for his own good, for her own good, the poor creature needed to rest /T H A N K YOU /I'LL SA Y GO ODBYE SOON, /TH OUGH IT'S THE E ND OF THE WORLD, /DONT BL AME YOURSE LF NOW, AN D IF IT'S TRUE, /I WILL SURROUND YOU/ AND GIVE LIFE TO A WORLD, /THATS O UR OWN, /THANK YOU, I' LL SAY GOODBYE NOW /THOU GH IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD /DON'T BL AME YOUR SELF NOW /AND IF IT'S TRU I WILL SUROUND YOU /AND GIVE LIFE TO  A WORLD /THAT'S OUR OWN the song repeated until his sound card stopped functioning leaving him to hold one final note before she switched the machine off entirely. looking out of the side of her bedroom window, wordlessly gazing out at the treeline, the sun pushing through leaves as they bristled in the wind. things were changing, in what way she was unsure. before standing up taking a few deep breaths and stepping outside into the summer air, the sun setting with it's orange glow bathing the city in a kind of dreamlike haze.  it was time for her to move on and time for him to rest. Maybe he'll find his way back in the future.

[xxx-cat-xxx]

Always Gold

After the rather dark and heavy thing I threw at you last time, here is something more fluffy (well, as fluffy as concussions and broken ribs can get). Tony is injured while protecting Peter in a battle, but he has to pull through to get everyone to safety...

Featuring Peter repairing an airplane, Tony being heavily whumped (as usual), and Natasha being Natasha. Share it if you like it. Tags for Injury, emeto, and a little bit angsty Peter at the end.

Tony comes to when he hears Peter's voice saying his name, muffled through layers of half-consciousness. He hesitantly opens one of his eyes. Reality is awfully bright and loud and he immediately decides that he doesn´t like it. He wearily drags an arm over his face, trying to hide from the world. Everything hurts.

“Is Mr. Stark alright?” Peter asks anxiously, his shadow blocking out the angry lights assaulting Tony´s retinas when he bends over him.

“Yeah, but he's out of commission.” Nat´s voice.

“Am not.” He knows she´s right, but it´s Nat, so disagreeing is a matter of principle. Talking increases the pain in his head exponentially, his voice reverberating like thunder in his ears. Well, hoarse thunder.

“Yes, you are. Shut up and rest, Stark, you can join the discussion once you are able to talk without barfing.”

Tony ignores her and tries to push himself up on his elbows, just to dangerously tilt to the left. Or the right, for that matter, directions are not exactly his strong suit right now. Someone pushes him back down. He squints at the figure and catches sight of a threadbare blanket set against a background of steel and glas before he has to shut his eyes against the pain. Bruce. The quinjet.

“Seriously, Tony. Stay down. Doctor´s orders.” his voice is calm and gratefully low-key.

“Thought you're not that kind of doctor.” The numbness in Tony's limbs is slowly subsiding, and his body doesn´t like what it reveals. He feels like he´s had a wrestling match against the Hulk, without his suit.

“Well, sometimes I am.” Bruce rebutts.

“Then give me some pain killers.” Tony tries to make it sound casual, sensing Peter´s presence around, but it comes out pleading.

“I did, twice, and you threw them up both times.” Bruce states with sigh that´s close to exasperation.

“Oh.” He doesn't remember that. He doesn't remember a lot, actually. But now that Bruce mentions it, his stomach is definitely on the wrong side of funny.

“What happened?” he asks.

“Dude, you forgot again?” Bruce huffs. “I´m done repeating myself, seriously. Peter, come here, you tell him this time.” He gets up and makes for the rear of the jet.

The boy jumps towards the cot Tony is lying on and bends down to his level, eager to help. There´s a small bruise on his temple, but else he seems unharmed. That´s something, at least.

“Well, enlighten me, kid,” Tony sighs.

“We were on a mission, Mr. Stark, and there was a huge amount of Hydra agents, lots of them, and they had crazy tech, like, you know these water guns that you used to play with as a kid - or I did, at least - just like these, only they were real guns, and without the colouring- “

“Geez, just come to the point, kid”, Tony interrupts, “You´re worse than a truckload of grannys on coffee klatch.” He doesn´t want to be rude, but god, he´s tired. And nauseous. He can feel his stomach slowly climbing up his throat.

“Sorry, Mr. Stark.” Peter blushes, and his tone sobers up a little. “Okay, so we were fighting, and I nearly had their leader tied to a street lamp,” he mimics firing his webshooters, “but then he kinda blasted the wall behind me with his gun, which was not a fair move at all, seriously. And then...” he looks down, suddenly appearing guilty.

“...then Daddy came and saved his life heroically, pushing him to safety and getting buried underneath a bulding. Once again.” Nat finishes for him, glancing over from where she´s sitting at the control panel. “God, we should sell the movie rights, your grannys would cry their eyes out.” 

“I could have handled it!” Peter protests, the volume of his voice making Tony cringe.

“No, you couldn´t've.” he objects.

“That's not fair! You don´t even remember what happened!”

“Don't need to. I know how you are, pre-K, taking on stuff that's too big for you, trying to be a god-damn action hero.” Tony coughs, wishing for it not to turn into a gag, and his whole body aches with the sudden movement. Peter´s form has become a blur in front of his eyes.

“Who´s the hero here? I didn´t get a concussion trying to protect my teammates!” the boy objects.

“Watch it, kid! I´d lecture you on what's written in the manual about dangerously reckless behaviour, if... if I could remember.”  He trails off, swallowing heavily. “Anyways, we won?”

“We got away, and they have taken heavy hits.” Nat interferes. “But no, they aren´t finished off yet, and according to our intel, they might have aerial transport to follow us. We´re on autopilot, but I´m having the scanners run continuously.”

“What, you let them go?” he asks incredulously and just a tiny bit disappointed.

“Gosh, Tony, you were buried under a ton of rubble! I had to get you out and make sure that you weren´t dying from brain bleed, and Peter here was basically useless worrying about you as he does. I was glad I got Bruce calmed down from code green and all of you back in the jet before anything worse happened!”

“I wasn´t useless -” Peter speaks up, but Nat cuts him off.

“We already had this dicussion. Anyways, we can save the chit-chat for debrief. Tony, get back to sleep.”

He wants to object, but he´s afraid that he´ll lose the fight against the ever-growing nausea if he opens his mouth again. Also, keeping his eyes open makes him dizzy, so he leans back, hoping he´ll remember the conversation next time he wakes up. Darkness closes in as soon as he lets his head rest on the pillow.

---

“Stark, calm down, you're gonna scare the kid!”

He wakes up trashing, his own hoarse scream ringing in his ear, shadows of the attackers still hovering around him. His stomach is already sitting in his throat, and it´s all he can do to role over and heave over the side of the cot. Liquid splashes into a plastic bag. Someone´s there, holding it open for him, lightly patting his back.

“Just get it all up, okay?” a voice says. He opens his eyes a bit. Red hair and black leather blur into view. He flinches away, taking a moment to convince himself it´s Nat, not an enemy.

“Easy, Tony, you´re in the quinjet. The team's safe. You just had a bad dream or something.”  Her tone is soothing, bare of all her usual sarcasm. Tony briefly wonders what he just made her witness.

“I don't - remember you becoming -  such a mother hen?” he pants between gags. More comes up and god, it hurts. If anything, it has gotten worse than before. Not only his head, his chest is on flames now as well. He's sure he's got at least two broken ribs on top of the concussion.

“I am not.” Nat's back to her regular snippy self. “Just don't fancy spending the next hours in a plane reeking of your puke. Besides, I thought you'd rather have me than the kid watch you tossing cookies...?” she raises an eyebrow.

Right. Peter. The events come back to him, slowly. He coughs, another heave catching him off guard. His head is spinning. He tries to aim for the bag and catches a bit of her elbow.

“Fuck“, he groans. “'m sorry.”

“Yikes...” she grimaces, but then, more serious “It's bad, isn't it?”

“Na, I'll be good.” he spits and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, hating how his trembling fingers betrays him. “Had worse and survived.” He sees something flicker in her eyes. They both know what he's talking about.

She grabs his side and guides him back into a lying position, and he can't suppress an outcry.

“What now?” Nat demands.

“Ribs”, he groans between gritted teeth, “Fucking stop touching...”

“Okay, okay.” she lets go and Tony has to bite back a whimper when he falls onto the mattress. “Should´ve told me earlier. Anything else broken?”

"Not that I know,” he pants, “but do I look like a doctor? Speaking of that, where´s Mr. Choleric?”

“I sent him off to dreamland.” Nat motions with her head toward the rear. “He was pretty shaky after the fight. You know, calory burn, all that. Peter´s with him.”

“Hmm.” Tony groans. His head is spinning, and he can´t entirely catch his breath.

“Okay, you think you can keep down some water? We still got a few hours in front of us, don't want you all dried out once we reach New York.” She presses a bottle into his jittery hands.

Tony´s protest is lost in the sudden blaring of the jet´s alarms. Nat´s up and at the consoles in an instant, but before she can do anything, a loud crash sounds from the rear when something strikes the plane hard. The world tilts to the side, and it's all Tony can do to muffle his scream when his body hits the wall and agony explodes inside his head.

----- Peter was playing on his phone next to a dozing Bruce, trying to distract himself. Battles like these are still somewhat new to him and always leave him edgy, and the worry about his mentor isn´t exactly helping his nerves. Suddenly, his spider senses start tingling, causing the hairs on his forearms to stand. He is barely out of the door when a loud crash comes from behind him and a sudden loss of altitude makes his adrenaline spike. He runs to the front, trying not to lose his footing when the jet tilts.

The scene in the cockpit is chaotic, alarms blinking and blaring shrill, boxes and weapons that have come lose slipping around on the floor, Nat running to and fro while trying to stabilize the plane. Tony, apparently awake, is draped over the cot in a weird angle, squeezing his arms over his ears and grimacing in pain.

“What happened?” Bruce stumbles out behind Peter.

“They got us.” Nat replies briskly. She hits a few buttons and thankfully, the alarms fall silent.

“Bruce, headphones, bathroom.” she commands, not looking up from the monitors.

“I- ” he starts.

“Now!”

He doesn´t protest again, and Peter is grateful for it. They all know what's going to happen if he hulks out in the small space of the quinjet. Apart from that, Bruce Banner might be one of the world´s most brilliant scientists, but in his human form he isn´t usually of much help in combat situations.

Another hit makes the plane jump in the air, and Peter has to grasp the wall as not to keel over.

“Shit!” Nat glares at the screens that have suddenly gone black and mumbles something unintelligible that sounds a lot like a Russian curse. “System´s down." She presses a few buttons and kicks against the console, but nothing happens. “Stark, you conscious?”

“No.” comes a muffled groan. “But do I have a choice?”

“Not really. Weapon control´s is down, I gotta take them out manually from the rear before they blow us to pieces.” There is a bit of empathy in her voice when she continues. “You need to hold us stable, Tony, and get the system back online. Can you sit up?”

“If you tell me which way is up...” But he pushes himself onto his elbows and makes to sit. Peter is taken aback by how bad his mentor looks, white as a ghost, sweaty, ready to pass out. He doesn´t have time to think about it, though, because another explosion shakes the plane in its core and makes him and Nat reel on their feet. “They are nearly up to our level.” The assassin shoots Tony a look.

“Go, I got this!” he ensures, and Nat bolts to the storage to grab a monster of a gun that looks half as long and nearly as heavy as Peter. She positions herself near the loading ramp, hooks the weapon into its designated place and starts to shoot.

Peter turns back to Tony, who is now sitting hunched over, looking just about to be sick again. “What can I do?” he asks frantically, wanting to help but not knowing how. There´s too much input, the situation so different from the battles in the field where, despite the danger, there is always an emergency escape plan. And a mentor he can turn to who isn´t in danger of passing out any minute.

“Sit back. Be quiet.” Tony replies uncharacteristically brisk. He swallows heavily.

“But I want to help!” Peter protests. Tony doesn't look like he can see straight, let alone fly an airplane. Apart from the worry about his mentor, Peter is painfully aware that their all survival currently depends on the man´s ability to maneuver them out of the situation.

“A, this is not a video game, Parker, you can´t just learn to fly an airplane within a few minutes. At least not if you´re not me.” Tony slowly gets up, grasping for something to steady himself, then frowning as if he is trying to remember what he wanted to say. “And C”, he continues, “I´ve been getting along working on my own for 30 years, I think it´ll do for another few hours.”

Peter just stares at him.

“What?” Tony huffs, swaying on his feet.

“Your - your left pupil is blown, Mr. Stark. And you just skipped the second letter of the alphabet. I think you need some assistance.” Tony chooses this moment to lose his balance and unceremoniously crumble onto his butt, which Peter would find extremely funny if the situation wasn't that serious.

Tony´s hand flies to his mouth as he bends forward and gags. Sick drops down from between his fingers onto the floor. “Shit” he gasps, retching painfully once more. A trickle of bile is added to the small puddle on the ground. “Help me up.” he urges, still swallowing thickly, wiping his hand on his pants.

Peter hurriedly gets the engineer back to his feet and supports him into the pilot seat. Tony takes only a few seconds to manually alter their flight path and bring them far above the swarm of Hydra´s drones attacking them, which earns him a grateful thumbs-up from Nat who is still busy taking them out on her own.

Tony turns to the panel that hosts the jet´s AI, but is stopped by a coughing fit that knocks the air out of him. He wheezes, clutching his chest with one hand, trying desperately to inhale enough oxygen. Peter can practically hear broken ribs shifting against each other.

“Mr. Stark....” Peter trails off, his heartbeat speeding up. He is not a doctor, but he knows that this cannot be a good sign.

“I´m okay, kid.“ Tony coughs again, squeezing his eyes shut. His face looks even paler than before and his breathing goes ragged and sounds painful.  He squints at the control board, then sighs. “Fine, if you´re not gonna leave me alone, make yourself useful.”

He connects a tablet to the plane´s computer with shaky fingers and holds it out roughly in Peter´s direction. “Need to override the system to restart it, just enter whatever I´m telling ya. I´d do that myself, but the world is kinda... ” he draws a spinning movement into the air.

“Okay, okay, I can do that.” Peter says, taking a deep breath and trying not to panic at the thought that the man who's currently flying the plane can't see straight. Spiderman is needed now. Tony starts dictating him lines of code while keeping the plane on a more or less steady flight path, changing height and directions whenever Nat tells him to. Peter tries his best not to make mistakes, but a few times he misspell lines of code and Tony grunts angrily, apparently frustrated over his own lack of capability to complete the task.

“Mr. Stark? What now?” he asks and turns his head when Tony suddenly falls silent. The older man is gazing into space, one hand cradling the side of his head, the other curled loosely around the flight controller.

“What?” he blinks confusedly. “Good work, Parker, well done,” he rambles.

“No, Mr. Stark....the code. What should I enter next?”

“Huh?” he stares at Peter for a moment, then seems to remember. “Oh, ya you´re right. What's it saying on the screen again?”

After another ten minutes of tensed work, blue lights finally appear at the control panel and Peter lets out a breath he hadn´t realized he´s been holding.

“Welcome, Mr. Stark, Mr. Parker.” Friday´s voice greets them.

“About time!” Nat shouts over to them. “I was running out of ammo here. Friday, take over the flight control and focus on the targets. Take them out at my command!”

“Mr. Stark, we made it!” Peter exclaims, a proud grin spreading over his face.

But Tony doesn´t react. He is sagged into his seat, head leaning against the backrest, breathing fast and shallow, sweat beading his brow. His gaze seems to linger somewhere in the distance, eyelids slowly drooping.

“Mr. Stark, you're not going to pass out, are you? “

"I..." he trails off, nausea and panic crossing his face in rapid succession.

"Okay... We´ll get you lying down, I guess.” Peter says frantically, worry edging up in him. Tony's head lolls forward, and he retches, a slim streak of bile soiling his lap.

“Nat, Dr. Banner?” Peter calls out, “Can - can someone help, please?”

He watches anxiously when Bruce carries the engineer to the cot and starts to carefully sweep his ribs. Tony moans in pain and tries to curl into himself, only half-conscious and barely realizing what´s going on around him. It nearly breaks Peter´s heart to see him in a state like this. He knows Tony wouldn´t want him to watch it, but he can´t bring himself to turn away, either.

Suddenly guilt takes over. It´s his fault that his mentor is injured this badly, from all he knows, Peter should have been the one to be hit by the wall, he should be lying on that cot in pain right now. His knees grow weak beneath him, and he sinks down to the floor, shaking soundlessly.

“Are you okay, Peter?” Bruce asks in a soft tone.

“It´s - it´s all my fault.” he brings out. His throat is tight, his stomach a knot. He feels like he´s going to throw up, too. "He - he got hurt because of me."

“Na, kiddo. Stop talking bullshit”, comes a weak voice. Tony attempts a grin that quickly turns grimace. He shifts his head a little so he can face Peter directly. His brown eyes are rimmed by barely concealed pain, but they focus on Peter just as intensely as they always do.

“I´d lie if I said that I enjoy feeling like the leftovers of a car crash, and boy, I´m gonna give you hell you if you´re not more careful next time. But... we all make mistakes, and the important thing is that we learn from them.“ He coughs dryly, his voice sounding hoarse from vomiting when he goes on.

“I mean, you´re speaking to the guy who spent nearly twenty years of his life selling weapons for a living. People make stupid decisions, Peter, but just trust me, you´re gonna go mad if you hold yourself responsible for everything bad that happens around you.” His eyes hold onto Peter´s for a moment longer before drifting shut, exhaustion taking over, and Peter senses something deeper beneath these words. He doesn´t ask, though, knowing that now is not the time.

Instead, he shifts his body so that he is leaning directly against the cot. He crosses his arms at the height of Tony´s knees, leaving enough distance not to make him uncomfortable, but staying close enough to let him know someone is there with him. Peter rests his tired head on his elbows, deciding that he won´t move from Tony´s side anymore until the man gets medical attention. Despite everything, he feels safe for the first time that afternoon. The jet´s movements have become incredibly smooth, and he slowly succumbs to the exhaustion.

He wakes up in the same position when the quinjet touches down to earth, a little confused, a little tired, and comfortably warm thanks to a black leather jacket that is draped across his shoulders. The remainders of a nightmare waft through his head, and he quickly sits up to look at his mentor. Tony is still asleep, looking pale, weary, and hurting, but gladfully alive.

The quinjet´s ramp recedes, and Tony´s eyelids flutter open when a swarm of medics enter and lift him onto a stretcher. His gaze flickers around for a moment, then settles on Peter, and he winks at him once before he is carried out. Don´t worry kid, I´ll be alright.

And for now, that´s all Peter needs to know.

[quicksilversquared]

Fashion Disaster

Hawkmoth's akuma designs aren't always what one would call fashionable. In fact, quite a few of them verge on being complete eyesores. It was only a matter of time before someone brought it up- and when they did, Hawkmoth was Not Happy.

So naturally, they just brought it up again, and again, and again.

(AO3) (FF.net)

Adrien frowned when he entered the dining room for breakfast one morning and saw the newspaper, which normally sat abandoned next to his father's seat, crumpled up and sitting under the window like it had been thrown across the room in a fit of anger. Curious, he trotted over to pick up the paper. He didn't flatten it out right away, because he didn't want Nathalie to spot him looking at it. If his father had thrown away the newspaper, there was probably something in it that they didn't want him to see.

He would read it at school.

Adrien managed to smuggle the paper back to his room without anyone noticing, and then he shoved in his bag before running out to the car. The Gorilla looked a little surprised that Adrien was running so early, but the surprise smoothed out fast enough and he pulled out of the gates. Driving to school took no time at all (Adrien wondered briefly if he could maybe persuade the Gorilla to just walk him to school some days, since it was absolutely ridiculous to drive the short distance unless he was seriously running late), and then Adrien was settling down at his desk in the empty classroom and pulling the crumpled paper out of his bag.

"What did you bring that trash for?" Plagg asked, zipping out of the bag after the newspaper and watching with interest as Adrien smoothed out the paper carefully. "Why is it all scrunched up like that?"

"It's not trash, it's today's newspaper," Adrien replied absently, noting that it was the fashion section that had been trashed. "And I didn't do that, my father did. I just want to know what it was that got him all ticked off."

Adrien started scanning the paper, frowning as he did. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary in any of the articles. Adrien shrugged, figuring that maybe his father had gotten news he didn't like from Nathalie and he had just taken it out on the newspaper.

(He didn't want to think too much about what kind of news his father might have gotten, but after a moment's consideration he figured that it was probably more frustrating news as opposed to bad news. If there was truly bad news,there probably would have been shattered glass and Nathalie would have said something to him.)

Shrugging, Adrien went back to perusing the newspaper. There was an article about the latest akuma, and he started reading it. It was odd that the article was in the fashion section, of all things, and it seemed to be a discussion of the designs of some of the akuma. They tended to be super-tacky, according to the columnist, all clashing colors and ridiculous patterns. They looked like they would be better suited to a toddler's coloring book, the writer continued scathingly, and were an eyesore. Hawkmoth should consider taking a designing class or two.

Adrien sniggered a bit and agreed. Nino's Bubbler design had been particularly awful. Most of the others ranged from eye-wateringly bad to just somewhat tacky. Even his own father's design had been a bit tacky as well, with the ridiculous striped hair, exaggerated lapels, and completely out-of-date bell-bottom pants. He was sure that his father had probably been ready to murder Hawkmoth when he saw the fashion disaster that he had been as an akuma.

"Whatcha reading, dude?" Nino asked, jolting Adrien out of his thoughts as he plopped down on their shared bench. "The fashion section? Don't you get enough of that every day?"

"There's an article on the akumas in here," Adrien said, folding the paper back so Nino could read the article too. "About the outfits."

"It's about time someone pointed out how bad they normally are," Nino commented, looking down at the paper. "I saw a couple pictures of when I was akumatized and oh boy, was that ever bad. Thank god Ladybug and Chat Noir got me out of that ridiculous get-up. At least Alya's wasn't awful. She got lucky."

"She did," Adrien agreed. "It really wasn't that bad. There are some that Hawkmoth didn't go overboard on, and they looked halfway decent." He tucked the newspaper away back in his bag- he'd have to remember to throw it away before he returned home for lunch- and turned back to Nino. "So, I saw Alya's post about Alix winning her and Kim's race. How's Kim taking it?"

  Adrien's lunch break was interrupted once again by the oh-so-familiar sound of the akuma alert going off on his phone. Sighing, he quickly polished off the half of his sandwich that he was holding and then wrapped the other half in a handful of napkins so he could eat it later. He tucked it into his bag and then headed for the door, muttering a quick excuse to Nathalie about needing to go back to school early to work on a research project in the library. She nodded, distracted by the report she was working on, and Adrien took that as his cue to transform and take off.

Hopefully he and Ladybug could take down the akuma fast enough that he would have time to finish his sandwich and get some homework done before classes started up again for the afternoon.

Chat Noir bounded across the city, looking for signs of an akuma. He had just passed the Eiffel Tower when a flash of color caught his eye and he paused, then blinked as the most gaudy akuma ever sped down the street towards him. All of the clashing colors on their outfit hurt his eyes just by themselves, and then on top of that it looked like an entire école maternelle had glued the contents of their entire art cupboard on top of that. Sequins sparked, jewels flashed, beads swung, and glitter shone. The akuma flashed a pencil at people, and soon they were decorated in much the same way. It seemed more irritating than dangerous... though perhaps once enough people were hit, there would be a danger of someone going blind in the face of the sun reflecting off of all of the glitter.

"Wow," Ladybug commented as she landed next to Chat Noir. "That's...uh. Um."

"Gaudy?" Chat Noir suggested, squinting at the akuma. The pencil was the only thing that stuck out as weird, and he bet that it was the possessed item. "Yeah. This is even worse than usual. It's funny timing, actually- did you see that article this morning, in the fashion section?"

"About how awful the akuma designs are? Yeah, I did," Ladybug said. "I'm thinking that Hawkmoth probably wouldn't appreciate people making fun of him like that much, but the writer wasn't wrong."

"D'you think this was his attempt at a better design?" Chat Noir asked as another group of people turned bejeweled. "Only a little kid would think this is better."

Ladybug giggled. "If you want to tell the akuma that to its face so Hawkmoth knows that, go right ahead. Me, I think I'll focus on getting that pencil."

The following fight was the glitteriest fight they had ever had by far. By the time Ladybug snapped the pencil cleanly in two, Chat Noir was covered from head to toe in green glitter and half of Ladybug's hair was covered with a solid crust of glittery red. They both let out a sigh of relief as the Healing Light washed over them and removed every last trace of the glitter. In front of them, the akuma turned back into a fashionably dressed woman.

"Oh! That's the fashion reporter who wrote that article!" Ladybug hissed in Chat Noir's ear. He didn't question how she knew; perhaps she followed fashion more than he did and could recognize the normal fashion writers on sight. Or maybe there had been a writer photo with the article and he just hadn't paid enough attention to remember.

Either way, it was very odd that she would be the one to get targeted, and so soon after the article was published.

"I turned into an akuma?" the woman asked in confusion as she realized where she was. "But... why?"

"Were you upset about something?" Ladybug prompted.

The writer frowned, trying to place the memory. "I'm... not sure? I wasn't that upset about anything. A couple of my design sketches got torn apart by one of my teachers, but I knew full well that I hadn't put enough effort into them. I knew that they deserved every single comment they got. I was more annoyed with myself for half-assing the assignment than anything else."

Chat Noir and Ladybug exchanged a bewildered look. Normally the akuma victims were pretty upset about whatever it was that had set them off. There was strong disappointment, or anger, or whatever. For Hawkmoth to target someone who really wasn't all that bothered at all was strange.

"Well, I gotta get back to the office," the former akuma victim decided, standing up and dusting herself off. "I've actually got an idea for the new sketches that I wanted to get down before I forget it." She paused. "Okay, before I go, I just gotta ask- was my akuma outfit at least decent? Please tell me it wasn't too gaudy."

Ladybug and Chat Noir exchanged a glance and grimaced. "Weeeeell..."

She groaned. "Oh, gosh. How bad was it?"

"It- it was probably the gaudiest outfit yet," Ladybug admitted with a wince. "Lots of clashing colors, and sequins, and gems and everything. And, well, you'll probably see what your powers were online. The Ladyblogger was out and about and caught everything."

"Oh, geez." The fashion reporter made a face and groaned. "That was probably revenge for me writing that article about the awful akuma designs. He must have been targeting me. Well, if he thinks that I'm going to stop, he's wrong," she added cheerfully. "If he did actually get upset about me criticizing his designs, then I see no reason not to keep annoying him about it. Well, I've got to get back to work. Thanks for saving me!"

And with that, she was gone.

"I can think of a perfectly good reason not to antagonize Hawkmoth," Ladybug managed, looking a little stunned. "Hawkmoth might target her!"

"I'm sure he doesn't think that it's that big of an annoyance," Chat Noir soothed her, patting her shoulder. "At most, he was just a little ticked and now he's gotten it out of his system. He's not going to care that much about it unless he's a fashion designer or something, and there's no way that he is one, not with the akuma designs that he's sent out, right?"

Ladybug nodded. "I'm sure you're right. See you around, Chat Noir!"

  Something banged, and Adrien automatically paused in the foyer, on the alert for whatever was going on. He only hoped that it wasn't another akuma after his father. Another crash made him jump and start in that direction, but the sound of disgruntled muttering gave him pause.

"I'll show them good design," his father was snarling in his office. "Those stupid critics don't know what they're talking about."

Adrien frowned in the direction of the office. There must have been some critics of his father's latest line, though Adrien didn't know what there was to criticize. It was a fairly standard Gabriel line, clean and polished and relatively straightforward. Maybe they thought it was just old and unimaginative, which...

Okay, Adrien could see where maybe critics might get that. He couldn't deny that his father's line this year was fairly similar to his line in the previous year, with just the fabrics being switched around. But other designers tended to do that, too, and it generally flew under the radar. Gabriel Agreste focused on classical designs, and that meant maybe not changing things up from year to year as much as some more contemporary designers.

He hadn't thought that his father normally paid any attention to critics- by and large, he thought they were idiots and blind- but perhaps he had decided to look for some outside feedback for once and hadn't liked what he had found. Part of Adrien wanted to go in and check up on his father, but the other part knew that it wouldn't do any good. His father wouldn't want Adrien to see him like this. He was actually surprised that Nathalie wasn't already guarding the office door, like she had before.

Another crash, another mutter. Adrien cringed and finally pulled himself away, forcing his footsteps to lead him up the stairs and to his room. The sounds were more muffled through the closed door, and almost vanished entirely as Adrien sat down at his desk. He pulled up the Ladyblog to distract himself.

There was nothing like a few amazing pictures of his superhero partner to distract him, after all.

But as soon as the Ladyblog loaded, there was a notice on the top of the page about a Ladybug-related broadcasting going on at the moment and a link to said broadcast. Curious- Ladybug hadn't mentioned anything about another interview to him, after all, so that meant that it was probably something about the superheroes but not involving the superheroes themselves- Adrien clicked on the link. Immediately the familiar stage from the Kidz+ news building popped up on screen, along with Nadia Chamack. She was accompanied by a trio of people, who the banner at the bottom of the screen identified as the journalist who had written the article about the fashion disasters that the akuma outfits were plus two well-known and respected designers.

Adrien probably should have been able to recognize the designers on sight, probably, but he hadn't. Oh well.

"-so before the break, we were discussing your recent article on the akuma outfit designs," Nadia was saying. "And we've also invited a few prominent members of the fashion design community today, here with redesigns of some of our more memorable akumas. We'll see before and after pictures and then they'll explain a bit about why they made the changes that they did."

Adrien watched, interested. The focus was largely on the more recent well-known akumas which meant that there were no redesigns of the Bubbler's outfit. The changes tended to involve a lot of slimming down of parts of the costumes that were particularly ridiculous, toning down on colors, and making some of the costumes look more like actual clothes instead of a second skin. One of the designers had definitely not focused quite as much on the fact that these outfits were to fight in, but Adrien could forgive that given how great the designs themselves were.

Briefly Adrien wondered if maybe being passed over for the interview was what had upset his father, then he dismissed the thought. After all, his father had said something about critics, not about upstart young reporters brushing him off, and besides, his father hated being on TV. It took away his designing time and he hated dealing with reporters who got all up in his face and sprung questions on him that he didn't want to be pressured into answering. Maybe he could have been asked if he would submit a few revised designs, but he wouldn't have wanted to waste his time on that, either. The reporter putting the whole thing together probably knew that full well and hadn't tried asking Mr. Agreste at all.

Whatever had his father upset was something else entirely.

They went through all of the designs and then showed a few designs that design students in a nearby university had done. Apparently one of the featured designers taught there on occasion and had made it an assignment. Some of the designs made Adrien grin, and he absently wondered if Marinette had ever done any akuma redesigns. He'd have to ask her at some point. The idea of redesigning the akuma suits was a cool one, though Adrien would have preferred if some of the students hadn't also come up with additional powers that the akuma could have had. They really didn't need to give Hawkmoth any ideas, after all.

Adrien listened to the program finish up as he pulled out his homework. The fashion reporter stuck in a few more digs at Hawkmoth, and as much as they made Adrien laugh, he had to wonder how soon it would be before the supervillain struck back.

  (Somehow, Hawkmoth managed to find an upset fashion student whose akuma redesign hadn't been used within five minutes of the program ending. Adrien just sighed, suited up, and really hoped that the fashion reporter would quit taunting Hawkmoth soon.)

  A week later, fliers showed up around the city announcing a fund to send Hawkmoth to take a few design classes at the local university. The fliers were well-designed- they were bright, bold, and it was clear that whoever had made them knew what they were doing- but Adrien still wished that he hadn't seen them.

The fashion reporters of the city had apparently bonded together to continue making a joke out of Hawkmoth's akuma design. They seemed to be unruffled by the targeted attacks.

"It's funny!" Alya defended herself when Adrien frowned at her when she took a picture of one of the fliers for the Ladyblog. "Like, Hawkmoth has been terrorizing the city for ages, and there's no real way to affect him. This is hurting his ego, apparently, so of course we're gonna run with it. Have you seen the section in the fashion section now that they're running daily?"

Adrien hadn't.

"It's fashion tips for akumas," Alya explained, grinning. "They do a new one every day. And the funny thing is- Marinette told me this- it's general fashion tips, it's the general fashion tip section, having tips there isn't a new thing- but they've just relabeled it and started over with the basic tips again."

...okay, so that was just a little funny.

"Okay, but they're purposefully riling up a supervillain," Adrien pointed out, hoping that Alya wasn't going to start including something similar on the Ladyblog. Even if people thought that it was funny, it seemed like it was a dangerous game to play. On top of that, Hawkmoth's irritation with the constant fashion comments was showing in the form of more akuma attacks, and he and Ladybug were getting run ragged.

Alya shrugged, unbothered. "Ladybug and Chat Noir always fix everything he breaks during his little attacks anyway. It's not like it's that big of a deal, right?"

Adrien tried not to grit his teeth. "I'm sure Ladybug and Chat Noir mind! They've been dealing with the attacks nonstop since that once reporter decided to tick Hawkmoth off for the first time."

"I know! I've gotten so much footage for the Ladyblog, it's fantastic!" Alya waved her phone at him, grinning. "Did you see that akuma yesterday? Terrible design, especially with those awful red pants, but so cool."

Adrien sighed and hoped against hope that Paris would drop it soon.

Predictably, they didn't. News outlets caught on and started doing little segments after each attack. The Ladyblog mentioned both the newspaper comments and the little news segments, and Adrien overheard Alya considering adding a new section entirely devoted to just those things. Even people who normally didn't care about fashion normally were joining in, apparently sharing in Alya's sentiment that the taunts were a great way to get back at Hawkmoth for the havoc he wrecked on a regular basis.

Only Marinette seemed to agree with Adrien's view that ticking off a supervillain for funsies was a bad idea. She frowned whenever the topic came up. He was pretty certain that he had heard her arguing with Alya about it once, but the conversation had come to a screeching halt as soon as he stepped inside. It seemed that he and Ladybug would just be doomed to deal with all of the akumas that Hawkmoth sent out as revenge for making fun of his designs.

Or at least they would have, had the group of friends not spotted Madam Chamack in the middle of the park one day, mid-report about Hawkmoth and his responses to the criticisms. Madam Chamack was laughing, as though she wasn't perfectly aware that an akuma would surely be targeting her in the next day, and even her cameraman looked amused by whatever she was saying.

"Okay, that's it," Marinette announced, drawing herself up. She deposited her bag in Alya's lap and strode purposefully over to camera. Before Madam Chamack could respond, Marinette snagged her microphone and spoke directly into it.

"Like Madam Chamack said, Hawkmoth seems very bothered by the accusations that his designs are unfashionable or terrible. That's really suspicious- maybe we should start looking at fashion designers as potential suspects, because pretty much anyone else would have just ignored what people were saying!"

With that, Marinette stuck the microphone back in the reporter's limp hands, dusted her own palms off, and stalked back to her friends, looking very pleased with herself the entire time.

"What?" she asked when she saw them staring at her. "I'm right. And maybe he is someone in fashion and that'll freak him out enough that he'll stop akumatizing someone every time he sees a comment about how awfully designed his akumas are."

Adrien could only sigh in exasperation. Why was it that all of his friends seemed to have some sort of death wish?

  Oddly enough, there weren't any akumas for a full week after Marinette's appearance on TV. Once they started up again (at a normal rate this time), Hawkmoth seemed to be avoiding going after the fashion reporters that had been such a popular target before. Either he had magically grown a thicker skin, or Marinette's TV appearance was a little too on the nose and she had scared him off.

Either way, Chat Noir certainly wasn't about to complain.

[galileosunshine]

Hi! I want to get into Love Live but I don’t know how to. Can you please give some advice?

Waaah I’m honestly not sure if I’m the right person to ask about this?? I’m not really a big name in the fandom by any means! But I’ll do my best to help! 

Love Live has so many aspects to it, so it can be kind of overwhelming when you’re first getting in! The way I see it, there’s kinda 4 main parts of Love Live! First there’s the anime which tells the story! There’s the music, because LL releases music under an official label, and there are many songs aren’t in the anime! Then there’s the app game! And then there’s a bunch of stuff relating to the seiyuu (voice actresses).

The good news is you can choose which parts of it to partake in and which not to, and at what pace/timing that’s good for you ^^

Starting with the anime is maybe the most obvious way! There’s two series, the original Love Live! and also Love Live! Sunshine!! Each series is about 9 girls who form an idol group to save their school from closing down! The original series focuses on a group called Muse, and Sunshine is about a group called Aqours!Each series has two seasons, and there’s a movie that comes between the two series (a movie is coming out for Sunshine soon as well!) 

Starting with the anime makes sense cus you get to know the story and each character and their personalities! Finding out your “best girl(s)” is also a big thing! And often times you can orient your other LL decisions around your best girl (more content to look for, buying merch, scouting for cards in the app game, etc.)! Also, ships are a big part of the fandom, so watching the anime first helps to start figuring out what pairings you like!

Of course, you don’t have to start with the anime! There’s also the app game called Love Live School Idol Festival (LLSIF for short)! It’s a rhythm game, and also a card collecting game, and it has an in-game story too (differing slightly from the anime). There’s two versions of the game, a Japanese one and a worldwide one in English, but don’t worry the only difference is language, and EngSIF is behind on cards and events, which is a given. Obviously, start with the English one XD. There’s a tutorial, but here’s a general guide if you need it!

I think these two places are the best places to start! The main advantage with starting with the game is you can get exposure to LL’s music, and there’s a huge amount of songs that like I said, only a fraction is included in the anime! Eventually though, the anime is necessary to really know the characters (and the plot of LL of course)!

As for music, Muse and Aqours have a gigantic discography, so it’s pretty hard for anyone to just sit down with a huge list of songs to listen to lol. So to me the musical aspect of LL is more of a natural outgrowth of watching the anime and playing the game, and hearing the songs from those two things first! 

But for when you start wanting to delve into all the songs of LL, here’s two complete lists of all of them on the LL Wikia:  for the original Love Live! series and for Love Live! Sunshine!! (you have to scroll down a bit to see). These two lists link to pages with the audio for every song and its translation, so you can literally listen to all of LL’s songs on the Wikia! 

(Side note, the Wikia contains a lot of extra content and information in general, so do explore it sometime?)

What makes LL’s music so expansive is that, besides the songs that are in the anime and those that Muse and Aqours release as “full-units” of 9, they also break up into groups of 3, or “sub-units,” which releases songs as well! And then there’s also solo song relases, and duo or trio songs with different combinations of members! And then there’s special songs that come from the Blu-rays or what have you! Basically there’s a lot, so have fun journeying through them! 

I think by then, you’re already well into LL, and can pretty much participate in most fandom things! 

The last thing is the seiyuu’s themselves, and this is for when you really want to go in deep, and it’s totally ok if you never go this far! But in case you’re interested, I’ll talk about them too!

There’s a whole bunch of content related to the seiyuu of the LL girlsl, which makes Love Live not just an anime about idols, but also with real idols too!….at least somewhat! Like 2.5D idols, hahaa….

The seiyuus host livestreams (sometimes called Niconamas), where they read fan letters and talk about news, but ALSO play games and do improv segments and just generally get into extremely funny antics!

Take your time going through this compilation of Translated Voice Actress Content  on the Wiki! I’ve compiled this video playlist of the Aqours seiyuus in Niconamas and some of their mini Lives, that I’ve put in (mostly) chronological order and are (mostly) all subbed, and which I try to keep the playlist up to date on!

The seiyuus also do other programs, most notably radio programs like NozoEli’s Radio Garden, and for Aqours, Uraraji. There use to be a bunch of subs for these on youtube, but unfortunately due to copyright strikes recently these were taken down. But the subber, Kuurin, has started reuploading these videos on Vimeo, so go here to check them out! (Hopefully Uraraji will start being reuploaded soon!) 

Finally, the biggest thing is that the seiyuu’s put on Lives and perform all the songs as their characters! They’re practically real idols themselves! Thanks to the hard work of fan subbers, you can download them or find links to download them from Team Onibe’s site. Onibe subs so much content for LL so bless them!!!

Following the seiyuus is almost a separate thing in itself (I’m slowly getting pulled into idol culture in general because of it haha…), but the seiyuus really bring their characters to life and it’s also amazing and inspiring to see how hard they work!

Ok, phewy that’s a lot! But hopefully all the details help!There’s other things too, like manga adaptation and magazine publications and merch, but please don’t stress yourself! There’s no need to feel like you need to play “catch up”. I only mention because I want to let you know that there’s so much to look forward to!

Just enjoy everything there is at your own pace! Love Live and the fandom has become such a big and important part of my life, and I hope you come to love it as well! Best to you i ^^

[avengersohyeah]

Trace

Part 3

Masterlist

Trace Masterlist

A/N : Just ughhh..!!!!! pert 3 everyone, took so long cuz i’m just that lazy

Dean’s POV

 I took (Y/N) to his motel to get his things, and of course of all places he has to stay in the same damned motel I left that blonde I fucked last night. ‘Shit ! hope she’s already gone…’ I thought to myself while we walked inside the motel. We stopped at the front door of his room, I watched as he unlock it. And boy, I wonder how could seeing someone unlocking a door be so interesting. The way (Y/N)’s hands twisting the key, I wonder how it felt when that hand playing with my dick. Rubbing it, twisting it like he’s twisting those key, stroke me with those soft looking hands. Grip me hard and going fast, then slow, fast again, and bring my dick to his mouth. “Shit!....” I cursed in a breathless whisper.

“Dean, are you okay ?” (Y/N) asked me, made me realised that I was just almost moan his name after the curse.

“Umm.. yeah it’s fine..i’m fine..” I’m stuttering and sure that my face is flushed right now.

“Are you sure ? because you’re kinda looks flushed, are you sick ?” He reached his hand to my forehead, out of instinct I guess. And boy, his hand are softer that I could ever imagine. “You’re kind of hot Dean…”

“Oh you don’t look to bad yourself little boy.” I countered with a smirk, testing my luck.

“Thanks… but that’s not what I mean, your forehead is warm I think you have a fever.” He chuckled a little, the sound warming my heart. He don’t know that it’s him that doing this to me, making me nervous, flustered and hot just being near him.

“Maybe, you could make it better little boy…” And I swear I said that just in my head, but seeing (Y/N)’s eyes grow wide and smile of amusement on his ridiculously beautiful face, I knew I said it out loud.

“Are you hitting on me right now ? or are you just messing with me ?” he smiled again.

“Of course I’m messing with you…” I laugh, hoping that he wouldn’t realised that I indeed tried to hit on him.

“You are one strange men Dean, dorky for sure… I like it, it means you’re not much of a jerk as what people told me.”

“Wait a minute, a jerk? What kind of things that people told you about me ?”

“Well let’s just say they’re not fond of you, so the things they said was pretty awful..” He smiled at me, and opened the door.

 Didn’t took long for him to pack, I only saw him shoving his folded clothes from the drawer into one of his bag. The other bag seemed like it’s never been touched since he arrived here, I was about to ask when he asked me if I’m ready to go back to the Bunker. And my luck decided to leave me when we steped out of the room, she called me with that fake name I gave to her.

“James ! Where were you ? I was looking for you this whole afternoon….and who is this ? why did you steped out of that room together ?” She pointed at (Y/N) who just stood there looking amussed. I reacted fastly, grabbing his shoulder and bring his body flushed to my side.

“See, umm..Brenda, I.. this is my boyfriend..” At my statement (Y/N) whipped his head to look at me. “We were fighting last night.. and I was just so mad and looking for a distraction, and then I met you.. so..”

“First of ll, my name is Britany, and second you..you fucked me with the same dick you used to fuck him ?” She’s fumming right now, and I could tell that (Y/N) is getting annoyed with her creacky screamy voice. When I’m about to reply her, he cut me.

“As a matter of fact honey, yes he did, you’re just a quick fuck for him, and that dick? Indeed the same dick that he used to fuck me. Thanks by the way for giving him a reason to come back to me after your fuck. He said he realised that nothing beats the feel of my asshole around his dick. So move, we have to go home to fuck eachother.” He said those whole thing a lot lower and hushkier, than the way he used to talk, and it sounds hot. I watched in utter amazement that not only he played along, but he also willing to talk about things that he didn’t knew I wanted to do to him. Fuck him good, sounds so hot when it came out of his mouth. He dragged me out from the motel and we hopped in to Baby.

 I didn’t start the engine right away, instead I turned to look athim, with amusement smirk plastered.

“What ?!..” he said chuckling.

“I bet that how your asshole would beat the feel of her pussy is right little boy…” And I swear he just blushed. But only a few seconds and he’s back with his playful expresion.

“Ohh, you have no idea Sir…” He wiggle his eyebrows, which makes me explodes in a laughter. He laugh with me for a moment “Seriously James ? And more you have to act as if you’re gay to get out from one night stand? Further more with me?..”

“Sorry..That’s the first thing that came out on my mind. Besides, I didn’t asked you to play along but you did. In fact you’re the one that doing all the talk for me….”

“Oh..my god..Dean winchester, I can’t belive you… not even a thank you for getting rid of her ?” He figned anoyance but failed miserably.

“Well thank you (Y/N) for getting rid of my ‘quick fuck’..” I said to him with and make airy quote gesture, referring to what he called that girl.

“You’re welcome, but next time don’t use me as an excuse please… and by the way, you knew didn’t you ?…”

“Knew about what ?..” I asked confused.

“C’mon don’t play dumb with me..! How did you know that I’m gay ?” He asked me agai, I’m in such an awe that he could read me like that. I was silent for a moment.

“Well, I kinda get the feeling after you asked if I’m hitting on you or messing with you….Also after those sex comments you said to her ?” I looked up at him hopping he wouldn’t be mad with my answer.

He scofed “Seriously ? after the sex coments ?” He made anoyed face, but somehow I can see the faintest amusement behind it.

And I decided to just give him apologetic shrug, then he chuckeled. He’s like a whole different person I met this morning, and the way his eyes shine when he smiles is priceless. Oh man, I’m in a deep shit did I ? Before I get lost further in my own head, I start the engine and drove to the Bunker.

 Normal POV

 Once they arrived, Sam was already waiting in the livingroom. He then took (Y/N) to the room he prepared earlier. He left (Y/N) to settle in his room downstair to the kitchen where he knows Dean would most likely be.

“Dean ….”

“What ?” he looked up from his plates of burgers they brought on the way home.

“You looked so happy, what’s that all about ?” There’s a teasing tone in that sentence.

“I get to have pies now, so that’s about it…”

“Come on! You know that I wouldn’t buy that right ?” And that’s how Dean told everything to him while they eat their burger. How (Y/N) just made him feeling things he never thought he could after every fucked up shit happened, and further more he feel it towards (Y/N)! a men, one that as much of a men he see as him and Sam, one that he just litteraly met that day. They were still intact with their conversation, and Dean is eating his pie when (Y/N) steped into the kitchen, and both of them jumped from their seats out of surprise.

“Jeezz..(Y/N) don’t sneak up like that! I nearly died because of heart attack years ago, how if that happens now ?” Dean said while still holding his hand to his chest.

“Who’s sneaking? You both are too caught up in your girls talk that is….” There he back with his free mouth again. Sam chuckled and (Y/N) raised an eyebrow “Something funny girafe ?”

“What ? girafe ?” Sam asked, anoyed, but amussed at the same time.

“Cuz you’re tall, get it ?” (Y/N) said as he round the table to grab his burger. “By the way, I need to show you things.”

“Things ? what things ?” Dean asked

 (Y/N) lift his bag and spilled everything on it to the table. He lifted the first thing and then explain what that is. “In this hard drive, there are all informations about The Men of Letters, supernatural creatures and how to defeat them, sigils, and things that I could find in my grandpa’s secret room. I burned them after I digitalized everything, I checked the papers, there are no watermarks, or hiden letters that would apear if you put it next  to a heat, so … yeah… I think that was the right thing to do. I don’t want anyone or anything find these informations after I left.”

Sam picked the hard drive and give (Y/N) questioning look. “You said you digitalized everything you could find, and how many things did you find actually?”

“ninety eight files, each files contained about twenty something pages of text, and some pictures… not to mentions, the table, diagram, mapping, and else…”

“And what about that ?” Dean pointed to several books that sprawled in front of (Y/N)

“I searched for the kind of language used in this books but find nothing, so I figured it’s best to bring it here. Probably there’s something that could help us in this book, but I’m not sure since I can’t read it.”

When Dean is about to take the book, Sam took it first. Dean gave him an annoyed sigh, he take some kind of blade instead. “And what about these ?”

“I honestly don’t know, I couldn’t find anything about it from the files, it’s not an angel blade but somehow it was sealed. “

“Sealed ?” Sam asked.

“Yeah look..” (Y/N) pull the blade from the seath and show them the signs covering the shaft of the blade “It’s some kind of sigils maybe, I’m not sure, but the letters are somewhat similar to one of these books has.”

And again, Dean picked up something “I gotta say, you’re fully loaded little boy” then he aimed the shotgun to (Y/N) with that teasing smirk of his.

“What can I say ?..” (Y/N) shruged innocently “These things that killed my family are still out there. And for some reason they let me live, and to find hunters like you, at least I gotta pretend like one, so the armos also work as my cover.”

“I gotta say (Y/N) I’m impressed, you’re a lot smarter and prepared than this piemania over here..” he jutted his chin towards Dean that earn him a ‘wtf’ look from the older “But these armos, looks kinda not ordinary for me..”

(Y/N) looked at Sam then Dean, “Thanks for the compliment, I’m aware of that..” Dean gave him ‘wtf’ look to “These armos were self made, silvers, melted with holy fire and the pieces were washed with holy water before it put together” This earned him an impressed yet curious look from the brothers. “What ? I’m not a rookie in supernatural business, and I’m not kidding when I said me and grandpa protected the children we raised.”

“Well, it’s getting late. How about you spill everything else you knew in the morning ?” Sam sugested to (Y/N) which he gladly accept, putting the things back to his bag.

“Thank’s Dean, Sam for agreeing to help me, and you also opened your door to me..i’m ..i’m .. thank you..” Then he turned to go back to his room. The brothers wathed him leave, and when (Y/N) is upstair Dean looked at Sam.

“I’m in a deep shit Sam, I keep on staring at his butt these whole time…”

“Well, that’s something new, you usualy just stares at something’s butt that also have boobs….” With that Sam leave Dean to get  a sleep himself.

 Dean sit a little bit longer, thingking over what he should do about (Y/N). Should he make a move? He know (Y/N) is gay anyway, but how if these things he felt towards the boy is just temporary attraction or just admiration, even worse if it’s just a pity that the boy is somewhat had gone through things like him and Sam. Whatever it is he need to find out soon, because they don’t know until when they had peaceful day before another big world threatening situation would come.

Taggs :  @thegreatficmaster @supernaturalimagine @supernaturaldaily @waywardwinterfics @buckyywiththegoodhair @angryschnauzer @mrgrant9559-blog @kaylzjordan @rawritsmeh @supernaturalfanfiction-com @after-avenging-hours @winchesterenthusiast​ @themerlintrashcan​wayward-warrior-universe @themorningtrashcan @izzywinchester

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Man Up 4: The Donnyest Game”

Written by: Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Alicia Chan

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Yup, he's back.

The epic Man Up saga gets yet another episode, turning the trilogy into a tetralogy, putting it in the same category as the Shrek series. I'd argue the quality is very similar, at least in my opinion. The second one was better than the first, one of the rare sequels that was better in every way, and the third one was just horrific. It was so horrific that I didn't even want to watch the fourth one, but somebody once told me that the world was going to roll me and The Final Chapter was better than the third.

I could talk about the Shrek films all day, but I don't think that's what you came here for. Maybe I'm just trying to delay the inevitable, since the very first character we see in this episode is...

...oh boy, Donny. I was sort of hoping that Donny in the title wasn’t referring to the comic relief, as unlikely as that would be. At least they continue the cruelty streak with him that started with Total Eclipse of the Kart, as he struggles to open a jar of strawberry jam without getting it all over himself and getting covered with ants. It's not that it isn't deserved. The Powerpuff Girls, who normally help other people with jars, don't seem to want to help, though Bubbles does give this lovely advice.

Bubbles: Stop, drop, and roll, Donny!

The joke is that he's not on fire, you silly goose! Get ready, because there's a lot of jokes like this. While all of this jam related insanity is happening, a familiar face is hiding in the bushes.

Because this is a part of the Man Up tetralogy, we get the one thing that linked all of them, and the only thing that linked all of them: the villain is Manboy, a man man man man who wants to prove that he is a man man man man by doing man man man man things. The most man man man man thing in this episode is to beat up this majestic unicorn. See, it's ironic, because this majestic horned pony is getting annihilated by ants. Or, "ant-nilhilated" as Donny puts it. He's trying. Oh McCracken, he's trying.

I'm surprised they didn't leave a pause between that pun and Blossom talking about the B-plot of this episode. She doesn't want to waste any time, because they have one hour before they have to participate in the Utonium Strawberry Picking Contest.

The winner gets their photo on the fridge, along with a photo showing the "4th year strawberry champ", which happens to be Blossom! Before I can ramble on about how this show's sense of time is out of whack, I can say that the episode proves that this is not referring to Blossom being the 4th consecutive winner of the strawberry picking contest, but the winner of the 4th year this contest was held. Then again, who would have participated in the 1st? Jojo back when he was a monkey? I'm putting way too much thought into this, am I?

Donny is super intrigued by this grand prize, as if the winds of destiny were whispering "Danny". Bubbles has to slowly move her Finn-faced head in to remind him that his name is Donny, in another amazing joke for this comic relief character.

Buttercup, that rascal, tells Donny he doesn't have a good shot at being the champion of giving Sitcom Dad his sweet, sweet free strawberries, but Bubbles comes in to defend her best friend.

Bubbles: It's okay, Don-Bon! You may not be the best strawberry hunter, but you’re still my best friend!

Yeah, great pep talk, Bubbles. Yeah, Donny is terrible at absolutely everything, but at least he's Bubbles' best friend because he has a great personality he doesn't treat his old friends like dirt when he makes new ones he's a unicorn! Donny seems to take it okay, at least.

Suddenly, Blossom gets a call from the Mayor that the Blimp Shrimp is on the loose, reminding us all that the Powerpuff Girls do indeed save the world before bedtime and aren't just strawberry pickers that can fly. There really isn't much else; we don't even get to see this Blimp Shrimp; I guess we're supposed to just find rhyming funny. It's not really on the money.

Well, there is one reason: it's so Donny can do something that isn't very bright, since he can't seem to use his common sense without the girls to guide him. While he’s hunting for strawberries using his strategy of saying he will not be distracted, he sees a churro on a napkin. This napkin happens to be right next to a lasso hanging off of a tree! He can't fall for this.

(Johnny Test Whip Crack)

At least, that's what Manboy thought. Manboy is bewildered by this specimen, as not only does he not look like the unicorn in his purple guidebook, he fell for the very first trap he put up! You'd think he would know all of this, since he was clearly looking at him getting defeated by ants.

Man Boy: It says here that unicorns are incredibly powerful, are experts at camouflage, and are capable of tracking their opponents across many miles! That doesn't really sound like you!

Donny: I know! I sound more like, "Hi, my name's Donny! D-O-N-N-Y!"

I am so glad to say this is the last time he appears this season. They couldn’t even be consistent with him not knowing his name. They could have at least had him misspell it. Actually, they shouldn’t. Manboy, finding no pleasure in beating up such a weakling, offers him some training that would turn him into a commando. “A strawberry commando?”, Donny asks, and Manboy just rolls with it.

So Manboy trains his own opponent through many tasks, like jumping across cliffs, catching fish, doing pull-ups over a fire, and a few other. This training montage is played a bit too straight to be that funny, but it does have this song about how montages are only here to speed things up. No, really.

Bet you can't guess what's happening here Time is of the essence, so we'll make it clear We only got a minute for a montage song Because this episode is ten minutes long

A montage is happenin'!

I am not going to lie, it's kind of catchy, and at least it gives a scene some sort of a joke.

There is one other thing: there's a scene where Donny gets taken away by what is unmistakably a bald eagle. Later, after he starts getting the hang of being a manly unicorn, he punches that eagle right in the face without even a hit flash. I don’t even know what to say.

After his training and his somewhat justified violence against the national bird of the country this takes place in, or at least it was in the original, he ends up becoming a Rambo-like muscled hero, looking almost exactly like the picture in that purple guidebook. I always wanted to see Donny get the Musclecup treatment, said no one ever. Thanks to this training, Donny stops telling bad jokes all the time and now speaks only in gruff action hero lines. Not sure if I would consider that an improvement.

Manboy: Okay, unicorn! It's time to play the most dangerous game...and you're it!

...so he wants to play a children's playground game with him? That is the conclusion one would expect Donny to consider with that line, but how else would somebody interpret that? I think he may have forgotten a sentence.

Suddenly, Donny starts shooting horn lasers at him. He tries, for the only time in the entire episode, to use his man man man man beard powers, but they get lasered off. Much like the Reboot Puffs in certain episodes, Manboy just knows that a punch would not be able to stop him, and just runs away.

Speaking of the Reboot Puffs, we do get a peek back at the B-plot, and I really mean a peek, because there's almost nothing here. After Sitcom Dad reiterates how this strawberry picking contest's prize is that fabled picture on the fridge, Buttercup boasts that she is for sure that she'll win this time. She has a secret weapon: a dust buster. Bubbles asks if she really learned nothing from that time she used a vacuum cleaner last year.

Insert cutaway gag where Buttercup chases triple chin Ranger Smith with a vacuum cleaner. Honestly, Bubbles should have just stopped at asking if she really has learned nothing, because the answer is usually yes.

Most of this episode is just Manboy getting chased by the Muscled Hellhorn, sometimes hiding in a bush to avoid him. Donny slowly walks, yelling out to Manboy to come out, come out, where ever he is. This is the big irony; he's this big and strong manly man, and he's getting chased away by a sparkly unicorn...who is also a big and strong manly man. I think the muscles and action movie one liners really lessen this.

Buttercup shows up to suck up some strawberries with her dust buster, and she unintentionally sucks up the bush Manboy was hiding in. Hey, something that actually ties the Donny chasing after Manboy plot with the strawberry plot! Unfortunately, that's the only time the two plots really converge; Donny doesn't even seem to be interested in the strawberries in any of these scenes.

As for those strawberries, the next time we see a Powerpuff Girl is when the episode suddenly cuts to a scene where Blossom is picky about what strawberries she puts in her basket. At least that kind of fits her character, even if that seems to sabotage her plans to win. Sitcom Dad outright said the person with the most strawberries wins that coveted photo on the fridge. Honestly, that's really it for the strawberry plot until the end, and no attempt is made to connect this scene with anything else.

It's just more Donny from here on out. If there's any kind of progression, at least the training montage made him a little more competent at dodging traps. He easily dodges an arrow trap, and just walks through a fallen tree. The closest thing to an action scene in this entire episode, really. Eventually something's got to break this new character of his, and it's going to take more than a napkin with a churro on it.

Oh no, it takes a napkin with two churros to make him fall into a trap! He even reverts back to his usual voice just to yell out his love for churros. Manboy shows up that he finally bested this majestic and powerful unicorn...even though he not once tried to lay a finger on him like he said he was going to do. I guess he would take any victory at this point.

Unfortunately for Manboy, that victory doesn't last. Somehow, Donny managed to set up a trap of his own, as Manboy ends up walking backwards, stepping onto a green button, which covers him in strawberry jam. At least that strawberry jam scene from the opening has a point, as he then gets to succumb to the ants.

And not just ants, either, but he also ends up running into a beehive. It doesn't entirely reference the infamous Nicolas Cage remake of The Wicker Man, but we do get this line, which is almost as good:

Manboy: Oh my god! Bees! Bees! Gyaaah!

Okay, he says gosh, but that's not what I heard. Then he gets attacked by a shark, because random. Eventually, he does end up going into a river, which does cleanse him from the jam, the ants, the bees, and the shark. This river ends up going into a waterfall, and then goes into another waterfall. Both times, they have to point out where Manboy is with a giant yellow beeping arrow, as if the context wasn't clear enough. This scene was enjoyable, but that might be because this is the best beating Manboy ever gotten.

And now, the required "I'm so sorry I was such a doofus" scene, though we usually don't see it from a villain. Donny somehow managed to get out of the cage and run all the way down to the bottom of the twin waterfalls to confront Manboy. I honestly stopped questioning such things; maybe it's that same kind of unicorn magic that allows him to poof tickets to ice skating shows.

Donny doesn't accept this apology, and does what he wanted to do as a person who was called "It."

Donny: Tag, you're it! Now you'll have to chase me-e-e-e-e-e!

The conclusion one would expect Donny to consider with that "and you're it" line is exactly what happens. One might ask, if this was Donny's idea of playing tag, why was he trying to horn laser him? The answer, much like most other questions one could ask about this reboot, is pineapples.

Manboy, in his anger, finally decides to lunge right towards Donny to possibly fulfill his promise to beat up a unicorn. Donny moves his neck slightly to make him miss and hit a tree instead. Yeah, it wasn't as cool as when Blossom did that in the original.

In the end, they finally tie this all up with that strawberry plot I completely forgot about, since it barely shows up. Blossom has her pretty pile, Buttercup accidentally sucked up the park ranger, and Bubbles ate the strawberries she found. Since she's best friends with a character who is well established in this episode to be not too bright, Bubbles can't be too far off, you see.

Donny shows up with that tree Manboy ran into, and it turned out to be a strawberry tree. His muscular physique is suddenly gone for no reason whatsoever. Why shouldn't they just have him stay muscular at the end of the episode? The status quo never seems to bother them.

The Professor decides to give Donny that fabled photo on the fridge he always wanted, right next to a fridge magnet of a poorly drawn Texas. Yee haw. Yeah, I can't think of a better ending for this.

Does the title fit?

Sadly, yes, at least with the Donnyest Game. I guess Donny being made more "manly" does sort of continue with Man Up 3's themes, but that's as close as we get.

How does it stack up?

Out of all the Donny-focused episodes, this is the best Donny one by the virtue of having not as much to complain about. He’s not constantly whining and being an absolutely terrible analogy the writers had to deny. He’s not being a terrible friend by ditching him for a total stranger who happened to have glitter and crayons. The episode doesn’t prop him up as this incredibly important character while the characters we should be caring about are getting their butts kicked. Most importantly, it’s not Bubbs and Donny Get The Mail.

However, there really isn't much to praise, either. The strawberry plot doesn't really go anywhere beyond a cutaway gag, and this episode doesn't change my opinion on Manboy or Donny as characters. I don't hate this episode, but I didn't really want to re-watch it.

Next, another episode where a villain cowers in fear over a cutesy character. Will it be any better than this one?

← Watch It! ☆ The Oct-Father →

[sastrugie]

Ask meme revenge: Maybe Atch or Titus?? ❤

thank you for asking bb

Why Ilike them: Because he isbasically the most quiet, modest and selfless person I´ve ever heardabout. He puts the life of others above his own and will protect youand take care of you in any situation.

Why Idont: probably because he wasso quiet and reserved? Like, we have no diary or letters (the ones wehave are in a … let´s say.. hyroglyphic handwriting) 

FavouriteAnecdote: As you know I lovefunny anecdotes so there are two I think about quite often!:

1.„Gran and myself were probably the most voluminous writers, butmost of the others affected to despise diaries. Wright would bringhis along once a fortnight, sometime when I was engaged on mine, andlook through it for references to himself. We often went for a walktogether, so his diary was often something like this:

Aug.1. - went up the ramp with G.T.

   „    2.- Ditto

   „    3.- Ditto

   „    4.- no entry

Isuggested he should fill in his blank days with „Did not go up theramp with G.T.“!Atkinsonassisted as follows: „Woke up and was very pleased to see Atkinson,because he´s such a good fellow!““                                                        -With Scott: the silver lining; Griffith Taylor

2.Household duties have been somewhat disorganized. I have laid andcleared the tables, while Atkinson has been chief cook. He succeeededsplendidly for the most part. He made excellent coffee; Deb tastedthe first cup, and nearly died, for it was pure cayenne!“                                                                                -With Scott: the silver lining; Griffith Taylor (seriously Griffshould have hired me as promotor for his book

FavouriteQuote: We basically have noreal quotes of Atch, So I´ll just take a quote abouthim that I really like and think describes hIs calm yet devotedperonality: „His voice has been with me often since those days-that gruffish deep affectionate monosyllabic way he used to talk toyou… he could not help the tenderness poking through. I am glad tohave this opportunity to witness something of what we owe him.“                                                                       - Apsley Cherry Garrard; The worst journey in the world

BrOTP:Atch and Titus of course! Atch helped Titus alot with the ponies and even assisted him in thestables when the ship was almost sinking. These two had a strongfriendship and were particularly close! Atch was also one of onlyexpedition members, who kept in contact with the Oates family afterhis death and visited all the armee cermonies for this friend.

OTP:I have to admit, I ship Atchlowkey-highkey with Cherry. And Atch naming a parasite species afterCherry (he named it garrardi)and writing letters saying „I really miss you a great deal“ andinviting him for travels in China together with him, doesnt make itany better.

An-oh-god-why-did-that-have-to-happen:THE BLIZZARD. Atch please take care of yourself, this was damn close:(

Unpopularopinion: Atch thinking nursingEvans and saving him, istead of filling up rations on One Ton Depotwas the right thing to do!

AWish: I dont know to be honest?Maybe to know more about him or being able to hug him and thank himfor all he has done..

5words to best describe him: parasites-pipe-imperturbable-surgeon-brave

Mynickname for them: I alwayscall him Atch to be honest.

Ifyou could say one thing to them:„You´re not to blame for any of this, you´re great, you deserveto be happy I JUST LOVE YOU ALOT!“

Favouriteportrayal of them: Well, Iloved how Cherry portrayed him in „Theworst Journey in the world“ 

„Atchhas been lost in a blizzard was the news which we got as soon as wecould grasp anything. Since then he has spent a year of war in theNorth Sea, seen the Dardanelles campaign, and much fighting infrance, and has been blown up in a monitor. I doubt whether he doesnot reckon that night the worst of the lot. He ought to have beenblown into hundreds of little bits, but always like some hardyindiarubber ball he turns up again, a little dented, but with thesame tough elasticity which refuses to be hurt. And with the samequiet voice he volunteers for the next and tells you how splendideverybody was, except himself.“

andthis one in Silas´ diary:

„Wewere indeed fortunate in having the imperturbable Atch in charge ofour party; never a cross word even when I lead the party into themaze of crevasses or even on the Barrier, when I turned a completecircle and we came back to meet our own tracks.“

LEASTFavourite Portrayal: Therearent any really.. I just dont like when people say he should havegone to One Ton earlier.

[writingwife-83]

Prompt: teen!lock au; M thinks shes crushing on JW and after failing to catch his attention (for JW likes gutsy, outgoing, confident, poised girls which M is certainly not) M decides reluctantly but out of desperation to ask J's best friend SH (who she hates on principle for being a cold asshole) to help her become J's dream girl. SH seeing the childish overly cheery lost cause before him agrees with a sneer (not one to back down from s challenge). But the more he helps her with her 1/2

2/2 Metamorphosis the more he realizes he actually likes the cheerily childish but full of fun and love girl, while Molly discovers that the cold asshole isn’t so cold after all but can be quite sweet and funny. And they actually have a lot of shared interests. Can end up with M/J (failed awkward) date as J finally sees M but M already pining for S who is in a jealous and depressed fit as the date take place. In the end M and S end up together :)

This 2 part prompt is pretty complex for a mini fic prompt. So I hope you don’t mind, anon, that I cut it up and tweaked it quite a bit. In general I’d say I’m going for more of what the second half of the prompt outlines. The settup is teen!lock, and it’s right before uni time for all of them. And Sherlock and John have a flat together…basically because it just helps the plot lol. Enjoy! ;D

“Look, all I’m asking is that you try to be civil,” John said to his best friend while buttoning his shirt and checking his hair in the mirror. “Honestly, I think you’ll like her. She’s…well, I think she’s probably the first girl in a long time that I really genuinely have a lot in common with. She wants to be be a doctor as well!” John was trying his best to make her sound thrilling. “And besides that, she’s adorable and sweet and just…well, she’s just really nice.”

“I can hardly wait,” was the only response Sherlock offered, still focused on the contents of the dish he was holding. 

John rolled his eyes at Sherlock’s sarcastic words. “Listen, if you don’t want to bother with her then just go to your room and keep to yourself so I can at least enjoy her company. And I’m not sure if we’re getting take away or eating at a restaurant, but either way I can get you something.”

Sherlock shrugged. “Not hungry.”

A knock at the door made John rush to answer with one more warning glance at his friend.

“Molly, hi!” John greeted warmly. “Take you coat?”

“Oh sure, thanks.” She was just as cheery and bright as John remembered.

They walked into the little flat’s kitchen and John gestured to Sherlock. “Molly, this is Sherlock Holmes, my friend I mentioned the other day.”

Molly stared at the tall dark haired figure in the kitchen, and when he turned to face her and pulled his safety glasses off, John did a little double take. Was Sherlock…blushing?

His hand shot out and Molly took it for a somewhat extended handshake.

“Hi…I’m Molly.”

“Sherlock…good to meet you, Molly.”

John looked back and forth between them. “Right, so…Molly, did you want to go round the block to the pub or…we could just order take away.”

“Mm, sure,” she agreed quickly at the sound of the second option. “I’m fine with take away.”

“Yes, that would be fine,” Sherlock agreed.

“Thought you weren’t hungry,” John said, giving him a pointed glare which Sherlock avoided.

“My goodness!” Molly exclaimed, looking down at the pile of mail on the table. She picked up an envelope and pointed to the return address. “Is this the same Dr. William M. Bass that I think it is?”

Sherlock looked a little shocked. “You know of Dr. Bass?”

“Who’s he?” John questioned, wondering how they both knew this same man.

“He’s an anthropologist in the United States who started a research facility in Tennessee that’s commonly known as ‘the body farm,’” Molly explained excitedly. 

John chuckled. “Bit of an adults only sort of place, eh?”

Sherlock and Molly both gave him a blank stare.

“Right, yeah, not those kinds of bodies…” John’s voice trailed off and he cleared his throat.

“It’s a research facility dedicated to human decomposition in many different settings and temperatures and conditions,” Molly corrected. “Are you corresponding with him,” she asked Sherlock, stepping over closer to him. 

“Well, just a bit.” 

John noted the proud little smile on his friend’s face.

“He’s been kind enough to share some of his findings with me, since I explained my particular interest in chemistry and forensics. Also did him a couple of favors…helped him work some thing out. I’m hoping to plan a visit to the facility in Tennessee over one of the breaks this year. I’ve been promised an insider’s peek.” Sherlock held his head high. 

“God, what I wouldn’t give to go there! That sounds amazing!” Molly gushed.

“We are still talking about dead bodies, right?” John questioned under his breath, which the other two didn’t seemed to notice. “Yeah, ok, I’ll just order some take away then…”

Three hours, multiple containers of take away, and many many science based discussions later, Molly Hooper was finally taking her leave. By that time, John was hardly shocked that Sherlock accompanied them to the door.

“John, thanks so much,” Molly said sweetly, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Really nice of you to invite me.”

He almost felt silly asking but… “So I’ll call you?”

Molly actually glanced at Sherlock first, but then back at John. “Um…sure, yeah that’s fine.”

John smiled, but almost instantly mentally discarded the possibility. 

Molly offered a handshake to Sherlock. “It was…really nice to meet you, Sherlock. Maybe we’ll bump into each other another time?”

“Maybe we will.” Sherlock let her hand go but continued hanging by the door, not walking away till she’d actually gone and the door was shut. 

The minute she was gone, John reached in his pocket with a sigh, retrieved a piece of paper, and shoved it at Sherlock.

“What’s th-”

“Her number, Sherlock. Just take it.”

Sherlock feigned confusion as he took the paper. “I hardly see why you would-”

“For God’s sake, not the time to play at being slow,” John laughed. “You have my blessing, ok?”

Sherlock hesitated a moment, his gaze shifting nervously…but then he pocketed the paper with a little smile on his lips. “Much appreciated, John. And don’t feel too sorry for the loss. Wouldn’t have worked anyway. She wasn’t your type.”

“Oh really?” John wagged his head. “And what’s my type then?”

Sherlock chuckled. “Ooh I think you have some growing up to do first. Your type of woman…you’re hardly ready for her yet.”