#which I think is deliberate in that it will be the relationship’s downfall

[stars-in-a-jam-jar]

I loved Buddy this episode. Exactly the energy I love to see. He remains Completely Mostly-Deliberately Fanatical, but to the point where even the people who coerced him into joining their new religion are like 'You're!!! Doing it wrong!!!!' And Buddy's just like 'I have faith in Bakarath :)' I love him, I love that for him, I love Buddy Dawn so much, please don't die, Buddy, I just wanna have you floatin' around being a silly little uses-his-high-wis-stat-to-deliberately-fail-all-insight-checks-on-himself guy forever.

I wanna see Buddy at the end of this approach Fig like a little lost puppy asking her about Ankarna, but not in the soft explorative way that Bucky is curious about Kristen's relationship with Cassandra, in a way that's like 'I've been in a right tumble dryer lately and was wondering what exactly The Correct Worldview to attach my entire soul and sense of self to is.'

Want him to be a complete mess most of senior year as he keeps looking for new things to attach himself to. Every few weeks he changes his style to reflect the new thing he's trying on as a replacement for developing an independent sense of self.

Want him to be three quarters of the way through senior year before he even thinks to talk to Jawbone. That or they've been having mandatory councilor sessions all fall, and it's only as the Moonar Yulenear is coming up that Bucky starts Acting Like A Person for little flashes, where his entire attitude and personality is not some ironclad manifestation of what he believes The Correct Person To Be is, and instead he just. Genuinely loudly laughs at a joke that a few months ago he would've simply given a polite sensible chuckle to and said 'Oh, that's a good one'. He lets his face fall into a bored exhaustion in a class and the teacher asks him if something's wrong and he snaps back to, but it still happened. The omnipresent 'Good God Fearing Boy' persona slipped and he was a bored teen for a second. He tries a heavily caffeinated drink in the same way one might try a beer for the first time and suddenly he's being a little silly twirling his staff around and stumbling over his sentences a little more as his brain whirrs.

He cries and he breaks something and there's this icky complicated cocktail of emotions because getting angry is bad and being upset is bad; he was taught that all his life and then it was proven correct when he was resurrected by a false manifestation of a dead goddess worshipped in her true form by the archdevil of rebellion who spent the entire school year playing mindgames with the bard in Buddy's party who were using him.

But Jawbone keeps saying it's important to feel your feelings, which is a very silly thing of Jawbone to keep emphasizing, because Buddy always feels his feelings, it's not like he just unilaterally fends every emotion off as if it'll be his inevitable downfall. There's The Good Feelings and The Bad Feelings, and The Good Feelings come from The Good Things and The Bad Feelings are temptations into evil he must not indulge. He chooses to identify with the Correct Feelings To Be Feeling, obviously. Because you're supposed to do that. And anger and upset are never correct. It was a lesson he had to learn the hard, painful way because he was a stupid, flimsy kid who needed to see the real truth up close and personal. That's why all that stuff happened to him. Why the Rat Griders were so dismissive of him. Why Kristen was trying to build bridges with him.

So why did he just shatter the mug his grandfather gifted him after his baptism when he remembered how Oisin and Ivy seemingly constantly side-eyed him every time he spoke. At least it felt that way. Buddy's very used to constantly feeling observed, he probably just imagined that.

They're not exactly alive to ask anymore.

What do you MEAN my silly post about how I think Buddy's insistence that Bakarath is For Sure The Name You Guys is cute and funny turned into ANOTHER Buddy Dawn fanfic???

[avelera]

So this is a bit random but:

Dream as the hero in a Greek tragedy and Hob as an Arthurian knight.

Thoughts?

(You obviously don’t have to answer if this is stupid or you don't want to)

If I may riff a bit on this, since I don't exactly have a pre-made answer (it's not a line of inquiry I've really considered), I'd say this:

Dream is absolutely a Greek tragedy protagonist. He thinks of himself that way, he's written that way. A major, indeed central, characteristic of Greek tragic heroes is that their virtues in some situations become their ultimate downfall. No one is dying in a Greek tragedy because they're inherently bad or failed people. It is the essence of that Picard line, "It's possible to do everything right and still lose. That's not failure, that's life."

Dream's dedication to his duty is an incredibly familiar virtue for a Greek tragic figure. It is also the virtue that will lead to his eventual end (in this incarnation). At least, in the comic. We'll see in the show if that's the case, and I have my suspicions based on the story's structure that we'll be seeing some deviation or, at the very least, a more optimistic spin on Dream's end.

Neil certainly wrote Dream to be a figure from a Greek Tragedy too, ironic considering he's also the "deus ex machina" in other situations, being literally a creature of godlike (or superior) power.

As for Hob as an Arthurian figure.... I'm less convinced. And I have a lot of reasons why because I think a lot about Hob's relationship, or lack thereof, with the tropes of knighthood as explored in both canon and fanon.

Let me quickly say that for fanon, sure, absolutely. I've seen incredible, complex, lovely takes on Hob as a Questing Knight or suffering the throes of textbook courtly love (more on that in a second, because I do find that part at least plausible) or otherwise being a gallant and heroic figure.

However, this is fanon. Canon Hob is certainly made more romantic, and I mean much more romantic by the show with the whole missed 1989 meeting and Ferdie's inherent and overwhelming charm. But comic Hob is... hmm, let's say he also has his charm but he's deliberately quite rough, quite crass, more than a bit dim at times, and the furthest thing from protagonist let alone romantic hero material. I think comic Hob would laugh, perhaps a bit wistfully, at the very idea of being an Arthurian figure. Certainly the Hob of "Sunday Mournings" (the Ren Faire comic issue) would be outright derisive of the notion of himself as a romantic figure or a questing knight.

Hob bought his knighthood. I think it's something that bears remembering: he bought it.

(Let me very briefly aside say, as a grubby Yankee myself, I actually find his audacity and sort of "Ha! I got away with it!" humor in that moment incredibly charming. Fuck yeah, stick it to the nobility! Fuck aristocracy, fuck nobility, and fuck aristocratic mythology like Arthuriana that reinforces those power structures. Good for Hob being a peasant who bought his knighthood, something that would be all but unthinkable in the grand sweep of Arthuriana, which for all its romanticism is still pretty definitive about everyone belonging in their social place.)

Anyway, Hob bought his knighthood with money he made getting into early English shipping and with money made from being on the right side of Henry VIII dissolving the monasteries (which were corrupt but were also one of the only forms of social services available to common people at the time, it's an incredibly complex issue) and Hob is as unbothered by the moral quandaries of this as he was the moral quandaries of being a soldier or a bandit. Hob is the furthest thing from being a Galahad. I'm not sure he could even aspire to Lancelot at his lowest on Hob's very best of days. He's just not built like that that we see.

At least, until 1989.

Now, as I've noted elsewhere, Hob's story is fundamentally altered by this ever so minor change in the show of making him still in England in 2022, still presumably waiting for Dream about a block away from the White Horse! Now, this is some courtly love shit right there! My jaw dropped when I began to map out the implications, not just of his waiting but of his becoming a history teacher.

Comic Hob never became a history teacher. Comic Hob seems all but allergic to romanticism and nostalgia. Comic Hob's highest moment of romanticism is wondering what exists in the depths of the ocean and thinking that maybe reincarnation possibly exists.

1989 changes everything. Actually, we even have evidence that in the comic timeline, Hob wasn't even in England by, what, 1992 when Dream passes away? He's in America with Gwen and they've been dating for a bit when she takes him to the Ren Faire, which is the day after Dream died. This implies that Hob doesn't usually stick around England like he does in the show timeline. If that wasn't already clear from the fact that most of his professions throughout the glimpses we see seem to involve maritime trade (sometimes of the very worst sort). The guy is constantly on the move but he stayed in England for Dream for over 30 years.

So there, at least, I think we have the first tendrils of something for fandom to grip onto that Hob does have the potential within him to go on a 30 year quest for his lost love, which is very Arthurian. I think even Hob would be perhaps shocked at himself for this, perhaps alongside becoming a history professor, finally coming to grips perhaps with the history he's seen, learning to care about it, learning that there's more to himself than he thought.

Because Hob is a weird immortal. He doesn't do the things we expect immortals to do, like learn from his mistakes and become some sort of avenging superhero, or even accumulate enough money to not need to have a day job any more, to just utterly detached from normal human life. Instead, he seems to stay grounded in a normal middle class life for whatever era he's in (barring disaster or windfall) and just happen to stick at it longer than anyone else by virtue of his immortality. It's so bizarre in the most fascinating way, it's why I'm obsessed with him, because he stays so grounded in his time period and not in any sort of special superhero way.

But 1989 really brings into sharp relief that there is an element of courtly love to how he interacts with Dream, the Beatrice to his Dante, this figure who inspires him, whom he waits for, whom he changes for (even when Dream himself perhaps doesn't believe himself capable of change?).

There I think there's something to the notion of Hob as, perhaps, a budding figure of courtly love, if not full Arthuriana knighthood.

But more intriguing and, if I may presume, what I think you're perhaps getting at with all of this is: could Hob's Questing Knight perhaps in some way disrupt Dream's Greek Tragic fate?

Well, it's not really possible in either of those genres played straight but, in the original canon, Hob didn't wait 33 years for Dream to come home to him.

So really, in the most optimistic way I'd say, anything is possible.

[trinityofone]

Queer cinema buffs, just wanted to point out something that leapt out to me about OFMD 2x02. The scene where Ed and Izzy talk after Izzy has had his leg amputated is framed and shot in a way that I think deliberately echoes Ben-Hur (1959).

We know Davey Jenkins is a classic cinema fan, and Taika and Con have compared Ed and Izzy to Jesus and Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar. I swear Con referenced Ben-Hur at one point too, though now I can't find a source. But it's a film with infamous gay undertones: Gore Vidal came on board and queered up the relationship between Judah Ben-Hur (Charlton Heston) and his boyhood bestie/rival, Messala (Stephen Boyd) -- Boyd played them as former lovers intentionally, while Heston was, uh, not informed. (Vidal is a huge bitch about Heston in his memoir; recommended.)

Pictured: just bro stuff.

Anyway -- uh, spoilers for Ben-Hur -- in the scene in question, Messala, who has betrayed Judah and gotten him sold into slavery (it's a whole thing), then faces his rival in a chariot race, cheats, and is the source of his own downfall, getting trampled by horses. He is told he needs to have both his legs amputated or he will die, but he refuses and instead confronts his former friend (lover?) one last time.

I wish I could find better caps of this, but the way it's shot -- the dark room, the way the light plays across his face, even the angle of his head -- immediately popped into my head when I saw the parallel scene in OFMD 2x02.

(Gif by @hgedits)

Now of course, Izzy is not the cause of his own predicament to the extent that Messala is; he and Ed have both made the bed he now lies in together. Which is why Izzy gets to get up from his death bed and Messala doesn't.

Maybe, unlike Messala, he'll also be able to escape the Celluloid Closet! *manifesting Izzy Hands gay makeout scene in S2*

Anyway, Ben-Hur is a real good movie, you should watch it.

[agentrouka-blog]

I've been thinking a lot about the savage giant slain in a castle of snow.

I think, at this point, there are 4 big possibilities

1) it's Robin's doll (I really don't believe that)

2) it's Petyr, whom Sansa throws a snowball at in her snowcastle

3) it's Petyr being executed in Winterfell

4) Petyr dies in the Vale and the giant metaphorically "slain" in Winterfell is Tyrion

I keep going back and forth. I was convinced it would be number 3 (even though I want him to die ASAP) but now I reread Arya's ASOS chapter where she hears the "prophecy" and all the other prophecies she heats before that don't seem don't happen much later? Why would the last one be the one that wont happen until somewhere in TWOW? And it's not like 1 and 2 are super literal interpretations, which we know none of the prophecies really are.

What do you reckon is the most likely one to be realised? I also realise I'm falling into the prophecy trap George set (how targaryen of me).

My money is on 3).

Importantly, we never see anyone try and interpret these prophecies by the Ghost of High Heart, or deliberate act in response to them. They exist for the reader and they provide a template for how the vague details provided in them often reflect distortions or metaphors. They tell us about things that will happen. They are not instructions, the way Melisandre or Quaithe or even Mother Mole use them.

I dreamt of a maid at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, venom dripping from their fangs. And later I dreamt that maid again, slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow." (ASOS, Arya VIII)

There's clearly a time skip implied between the feast and the snow castle, but the idea that she has a prophecy about the snow castle scene itself is laughable. So. The only credible options are 3 and 4.

But Petyr randomly being killed in the Vale by Sansa doesn't comply with the prophecy NOR the foreshsdowing provided in the snow castle scene. The only other castle described as "made of snow" is the Eyrie, which is inaccessible for the foreseeable future. It's closed for winter, empty.

So after a scene where Sansa rebuilds Winterfell and feels stronger within its walls, attacking Littlefinger for his lies with a snowball, even beheading a "giant" and putting its head on the walls of that castle, we are meant to infer that the man who is directly responsible for her father's downfall and death (among many other crimes) will be killed by Sansa (how??) in some random castle in the Vale, instead of executed according to the law for crimes against the North in Winterfell when she has gained agency and power in her own home? Unlikely.

Tyrion also has "giant" imagery and is an enemy of House Stark BUT his relationship to the Starks is more complex and involves Jon and Bran. His current trajectory is far less focused on the Starks, and if he does aid in bringing Dany to Westeros, his culpability will center on the South too. An execution in Winterfell by the Starks seems improbable in that context. I suspect much like Dany, his ultimate end will reflect his own inner torment. We've seen him on trial already, unjustly so, twice. A third trial might work, but... holding himself accountable to his own failings and cruelties seems like a more important character development.

[writing-for-life]

When Desire Stops Being The Villain

I’m currently re-reading (for the felt 100th time, and I might not even be far off 🤣) “Brief Lives”, both for a meta I have in the making and also for the sequel to my fic.

And we are so often talking about how deliberate Dream (and by extension Neil Gaiman) is in the choice of his words. And as I said, I’ve read Brief Lives so many times, but this time, I’ve done it specifically with the conceptual sibling relationships in mind, and I’d just like to draw attention to this panel:

Dream very explicitly says, “I have no desire to do this, my sister.”

Very often (and probably also deliberately due to a) who he is and b) the strained sibling-relationship), he will choose words like “wish” instead. But here, he speaks of the absence of desire.

And you cannot tell me that’s not a deliberate choice of words. If we look at this conceptually, and think about how Desire wants to lead him into his downfall, we see a very notable change throughout the whole arc of Brief Lives:

They warned him at the beginning not to go with Delirium (“tell the little gleet to buzz off”)

They told Tiffany that they tried to talk sense into him, but he wouldn’t listen (that whole thing about not having the sense to come in from the rain)

After Dream killed Orpheus, Despair tells Desire it’s not their doing (and there’s also significance here that they meet in Despair’s realm, not the Threshold). And they admit they should feel elated he spilled family blood, but that they don’t. That they thought it’s what they wanted, but they didn’t. That they’re scared.

And then they proceed to float in an eyeball to basically mourn (and what and whom they think about is set up to be a bit ambiguous, but it truly isn’t).

But back to the panel:

Desire is not there. They are not part of the plan to spill family blood anymore, like they were with Rose (which also isn’t straightforward; I wrote about this before in a roundabout way).

They are not part of Dream’s final descent. The final nails in the coffin all come from Dream himself (and are mirrored, as we all know, in his relationships to Delirium, Destiny and Destruction at this point. Despair and Death are obviously in there to, but more after the fact, so to speak). Well, to be frank, they always did.

But the one either being notably absent or actively trying to prevent Dream giving in to Delirium (see what I did there?), seeking Destruction or talking to Orpheus is the supposedly least likely candidate. The one we so often think would want Dream to do all these things so it leads to his demise.

I’m not saying that the others don’t have their moments. Both Destiny and Destruction do in a roundabout way, but conceptually, they just aren’t particularly helpful for someone in Dream’s state of mind. And of course Del with her moment of clarity when she gets him up from falling to his knees in Destiny’s garden. But there is more metaphor than you can shake a stick at in that one, too, and conceptually, the message is not straightforward. Because it gives us a lot to think about if Delirium, clear or not, gets you back on your feet after you buckle under the weight of what you are supposedly… destined to do, but that just as an aside.

Desire’s and Dream’s relationship is so complex (as are all the sibling relationships), and I’d just like to encourage everyone to have the occasional stab at reading all these bits through a slightly different lens, and understanding that their relationship is not just straightforward hate.

It’s incredibly tragic, and I feel inclined to say for both.

[acourtofchaos]

Currently having so many ideas and thanks to them all whirring about in my brain, I can't decide what to actually sit down and write first, so I'm gonna write a little description of each (apologies because I absolutely suck at summaries) and then leave it up to a poll because why not 🤷‍♀️

IDEA #1

Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader / Tom Riddle x F!Reader. Set a little while after the war when the world seems to be returning back to normal. But peace doesn't last and the Riddle brothers have been keeping secrets from you about rumours that are swirling to do with Voldemort's followers not entirely being gone. It all comes to light in the worst possible way when the three of you are attacked and Mattheo sacrifices himself to save you and his brother. As months go by and you remain drowning in your grief whilst Tom grows utterly possessed by grief and revenge, the only solace you find is with each other which eventually leads to something neither of you could have ever expected and complicates everything when your investigations into the rogue ex death eaters lead you to a shocking discovery. Mattheo is still alive.

IDEA #2

Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader. When you are asked by the order to spy on Mattheo and he is told to spy on you by his father, the two of you forced to put aside your hatred for each other in order to fulfill your tasks. But just how close are the two of you willing to get to the other in order to be successful and will the fragile feelings that begin to bloom, despite convincing yourselves its still all fake, be able to survive when the lies you've built them on come to light?

IDEA #3

Theodore Nott x Lestrange!Reader. Rivals since you were kids, you and Theo have never been capable of doing anything except butt heads. But times are changing and the world is growing dark, on the very precipice of a war that neither of you want to be part of but you've been signed up to since you were born. When the pressure to become the perfect soldiers your parents expect you to be will you both break and lose yourselves or will you find salvation and the will to fight back in the very person who had always prayed to see your downfall?

IDEA #4

Lorenzo Berkshire x F!Reader. This one is mainly vibes atm but best friends to lovers with a shit ton of pining, drunken kisses that they insist mean nothing (lies), a first love confession that goes horrifically wrong and some angst and miscommunication before they get the second confession perfectly right.

IDEA #5

Tom Riddle x F!Reader. Smut smut smut. I basically got inspired by the song sucker for pain and imagined a scenario where you and Tom are in a relationship where you deliberately piss each other off and make each other jealous just so the other one will ruin them. Like imagine Tom thinking he has the upper hand in this scenario constantly because if you piss him off he gets to ruin you and if he pisses you off he still gets to ruin you because there's no way you'll be able to ruin him right? You won't be able to make beg. There's no way you won't break first and end up begging him to fuck you because no matter what you do, the man has immaculate restraint and he would never lower himself to begging anyone for anything. Even you.

Oh how wrong he is.

IDEA #6

Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader. Smut smut smut. Despite breaking up, you and Mattheo just can't seem to stay away from each other.

Inspired by maroon 5's animals

IDEA #7

Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader. Smut smut smut. Best friend Mattheo being jealous as fuck of the guys you keep wasting your time with and being determined to prove to you that he knows you better and could treat you way better than any of them ever could.

[lightofraye]

I’ve been seeing a lot of anti Danneel posts lately. I’d like to know why people dislike her? Do you think it’s because she’s married to Jensen and they’re slightly envious?

No. Well, let me rephrase--I'm not. Others might be, and certainly that's a popular deflection used.

The real reason is darker.

Danneel has a history of being verbally abusive to fans on Twitter (she's deleted a lot of them, but screenshots exist), even at conventions, calling fans "bitches" because she's claimed Jensen and thinks everyone who approaches him want to steal him away or something. One fan wrote of an encounter at a restaurant (or something) and Jensen was friendly to the fan. When Jensen left, Danneel verbally jumped on the fan, accusing her of flirting with Jensen, etc. It was awful.

Danneel also has a history of verbally humiliating Jensen and emotionally abusing him. She's fat-shamed him and later that year, he became even thinner, not just losing fat but muscle tone as well (which is a seriously bad way to lose weight). She's posted a picture of Jared when she claimed she deleted it and never apologized for it. She's posted a picture of Jensen on the freakin' toilet and never apologized nor deleted it. In a lot of conventions, videos, she's always dunking on him, humiliating him, and never encouraging.

When the Rust shooting happened, she claimed she was scared of flying and refused to go to him when he genuinely needed support. She even told Jensen to never talk about it with her, even though he witnessed the shooting and would've been the person on the receiving end of said gun during filming had Alec not test fired it first. She's never given him proper support.

She's also forcibly included her brother (Gino) in a lot of bad business decisions. Hell, he even accompanied them on their honeymoon, if I'm not mistaken. He was the one running the Family Business Beer Company--which has now claimed to be temporarily closed while they find a better location. Leaves me suspicious that he likely ran it so badly it could no longer stay open.

Danneel's also included her family in a lot of Jensen's business, but deliberately kept his family away.

It was her bad advice that lead to the downfall of the TV show, The Winchester. (Supposedly she told Jensen to use that strange accent, etc.)

She's made posts and claims to be with Jensen, only to have fans mention/photograph him being massively elsewhere.

She's a performative activist, meaning she only does something to get attention and when it's over, she drops it like a hot rock.

She's mentioned cheating on Jensen in a podcast.

It's been wildly speculated that she was not one of the victims of Mark Schwahn's sexual harassment, as Hilarie Morgan (née Burton) stated she recalled a phone call with Schwahn where he mentioned having an affair with Danneel and Hilarie told him she didn't want to hear it.

Danneel also has a history of being a difficult person to get along with on a variety of sets. Neil Patrick Harris stated she was awful to work with. There's a rumor that she had been banned from the Supernatural set for some time because she was awful to the crew and cast.

She allegedly even struck Jensen in front of a PA during an argument.

There's speculation that the scar on Jensen's nose is because of her, not a keg or a slip in the family pool as he claimed (he's constantly changing his story).

There's a lot of reasons to not like Danneel and I've barely scratched the surface.

She's unsupportive of Jensen, constantly wasting his money, never loving to him.

More and more, it's clearly appearing to be a transactional relationship, not a happy marriage, and a lot of it can be laid at her feet.

I hope this helps, Anon. I may make a huge post eventually, with screenshots and citations (if I can!) about her behavior.

[decepti-thots]

Really enjoy your post about Optimus holding onto skewed views of his relationships. I think a lot about how soon he started calling Megatron a friend when they interacted maybe twice and said interactions weren't exactly pleasant. How he undermined Bee and treated him as just another politician while calling him friend. How we don't really see him have much of a personal or pleasant relationship with Prowl and he calls him friend. There's so much distance between Optimus and the people important to him, and we know he knows that, but he doesn't talk as if that distance is there most of the time. By the end of IDW1 it really felt like he didn't have any friends at all even though a lot of characters would probably say otherwise. The character we see have the most significant legitimate friendship with Optimus (in my opinion) is Senator Shockwave. And even he had ulterior motives.

This is EXCELLENT anon, exactly right IMO. A lot of the Megatron-Optimus stuff in particular I think is a peculiar byproduct of phase two writers (lbr, mostly Roberts) attempting to make IDW Megatron-Optimus into something that more strongly resembles the kind of dramatic narrative that exists in other continuities but realistically just does not make sense in IDW at that point; obviously the easy one to point at is TFP, but actually this also is a situation where Marvel G1 and G1 generally actually does also have that vibe, if you take into consideration the lesser-known prose stories for Marvel especially. And it has this fascinating knock-on effect in IDW of creating the dynamic you're highlighting here, which honestly is much more interesting than if Optimus had had those genuinely close relationships, and which I think Barber is able to kind of work with more deliberately in his later work in the comics. He's constantly trying to create these connections retroactively, to fill a gap because the gap exists in the first place. Hell, at one point in the exRiD/OP stuff he calls Soundwave 'old friend', and like. They are not old friends. But Optimus certainly would have known of Soundwave, and you can see how the narrative would get constructed, out of the need to have some kind of interpersonal continuity he would otherwise totally lack. It's like he so lacks strong interpersonal relationships he substitutes symbolic ones by way of the war, almost. It's all he has after a certain point! Those ideological touchstones, in place of actual connections, some of it self imposed, some of it externally forced on him.

A lot of the real tail-end stuff with Optimus in IDW is about constructed narratives and their power and how they can constrict the people trying to live within them, and I think it fits perfectly with this, honestly. IDW Megatron and Optimus weren't ever actually friends, but they both understand how they could have been, and in their own way they both try and create narratives in their post-war lives that allow them to explore that now they've made themselves into people who cannot properly connect to anyone around them. (I really dislike the LL 'Megatron goes off to the functionist universe' stuff for various reasons, but one thing I actually do think is potentially fascinating is the way it allows him to live out a fantasy of actually knowing Orion, just because it highlights how he never did in the way the audience might assume by default.) And even pre-war, the way Orion lived his life- essentially as someone who did not understand his own complicity in the downfall of things and the structures of corrupt power until it was too late- did not create any long-term interpersonal connections. He can mostly only imagine them. He wants them, but he can't find a way to make them, so he tries to turn those imagined connections into reality just by saying them.

And again, it's definitely accidental, but it's weirdly fitting that the one other character he actually does have any canonical basis for an 'old friend' thing with... leaves. Which is Ratchet. It's weirdly fitting I think that Ratchet, who actually knew him in some intimate capacity pre-war, who is his old friend, is the person who is explicitly like 'no, I can't stay here anymore because there's no room for me' and leaves him, not unkindly, but definitively.

[merv606]

You pointed out something so true. Some that are adamant at admitting T/anner and M/ary and are “just friends” comes from the fact they don’t think someone as fit as T/anner could date her. They cannot fathom in their mind how he could date someone that doesn’t fit the “standard”. And like, they’re basically the same people and there’s a reason they have been best friends for so long. Like, it’s been on my mind for a while and you hit the nail on it.

I sadly believe one of the reasons they don’t confirm their relationship is because of the increasing hate she’s been getting. Like, some people on this fandom already hates her for playing Sam (because of their own misogynistic ideas) and project that onto M/ary, but she’s been getting massively bullied for a while now because she gained some weight and doesn’t dress or acts to feed this celebrity idea. TikTok is unbearable but it has started to migrate to Instagram. It’s been terrible to watch. And I think it’s also the reason why she quit social media and isn’t as open with her life anymore.

I saw some videos of her at the red carpet for CK 6 and I hope I’m wrong but she seemed a bit uncomfortable and it breaks my heart because she’s a beautiful woman with eyes to die for and it’s so refreshing to see a healthy standard body on TV because we are so often feed those “beauty standards” that don’t represent real woman. Plus, she’s on her late 20’s. We don’t lose the weight as easy as before and she’s a type 1 diabetic which means losing weight is already hard. She cannot get into a crazy diet to fit people’s beauty standards.

It’s very sad but a big majority of the CK fandom act like incels on the internet.

To put in perspective - this is what they are calling fat!

THAT IS INSANE!!!!!

Now, you should’ve called anyone fat or make fun of them for their weight, or call them names etc but that girl is not overweight. Not by a long shot.

Bigger than she was when the show started six years ago but that is life. We age, we change.

It kind of reminds me of Florence Pugh TBH and how she gets called fat etc and some truly vile stuff just because her body type isn’t typical Hollywood.

Now, I will say, I’m not sure if the CK wardrobe knows the best way to dress her now TBH as a lot of season six outfits seemed to highlight it. Hence the explosion of hate (in no way is that an excuse just an observation). Who knows, maybe it’s deliberate - god knows they don’t know know how to dress Ralph either 🙄

I think they look at Mary’s face - which is round anyway - and as someone who has a round face I can attest that ANY weight gain will go straight to it - and that she’s filled out.

Social media will be the downfall of society - the lack of manners - how to be a decent human being - reverting to the dark side of humanity because you can hide behind anonymity and it’s just getting worse and worse. It’s like some people are now longer able to realize this is reality - they just see a video and there is a disconnect there - that these are REAL PEOPLE! IDK - above my pay grade but people no longer know how to people.

Look at all the posts here now on how to have decent manners - and common sense - which ain’t so common - on how to interact with people.

I come from a time primarily when, if you wanted to insult someone - you had to do it to their face. Now people don’t have to atone for their bad behaviour unless caught. Not saying people weren’t cruel then either but it makes a difference. People can be ruthless regardless, but the internet has made it more anonymous and acceptable.

Now matter what her weight, she is still absolutely stunning and I don’t think Tanner is suffering any hardship what so ever lol

To quote what a good male friend of mine said to me before - if you ever want a thigh gap just let me know. I’ll put my face down there 😆 and that is not an isolated sentiment.

Stunning!

They are just too cute!!!!

[scarlet--wiccan]

I have my qualms with Orlando's writing, but have you seen the dumb Twitter outrage that the last issue provoked? The book is obviously open to critique, but the way Twitter Wanda stans behave...

In case anybody's not sure what we're talking about, Orlando periodically engages with readers on twitter, as many creators in the industry do. For a long time, Scarlet Witch has attracted a particularly toxic and obnoxious crowd of "fans" who often speak to Orlando in a rude, inappropriate manner. They're exactly the sort of people you're probably imagining-- entitled, combative "stans" with no boundaries, who are obsessed with power-scaling and "feats," and who appear to have no interest in, or knowledge of, literary devices, plot structure, character development, etc. The particular folks I'm thinking of have a tendency to lash out whenever the series fails to meet their expectations-- and by expectations, I mean whatever indulgent, juvenile fanfic plot they've cooked up in their own head.

Maybe I'm being mean, or maybe I come off as overly defensive of a book that, I'm sure, they'd tell me would be better used as toilet paper. But what I have observed is that most of these people are movie-fandom transplants with grade-school reading levels and a deliberate unwillingness to engage with any narrative in good faith. This week, one twitter user in particular went OFF on Orlando by smearing him, as a person, and loudly insisting that the majority of "Wanda fans" are "praying on his downfall" and want him to lose his job. This person made it fairly clear that they believe Orlando is obligated to tailor his storytelling and his creative vision to consumer demands, which ridiculous. That's not how fiction writing works. Long-running comics are a unique medium, but that level of reader-entitlement has never served anybody-- not the creators, not the fans, and not the characters.

This manner of conduct is not acceptable. It is not an appropriate way to communicate with, frankly, anybody, but especially not on the basis of artistic critique. I've never seen comic fans speak about a book or writer this way, especially not on such a public platform. I think it's shameful behavior, and I think it makes it a lot harder for actual, serious readers to voice legitimate and informed critiques. In this fandom, and with this character in particular, opportunities to lead constructive, meaningful conversations about the text are vital. These illiterate, mean-spirited jackasses ruin those opportunities by creating toxic environments and lowering our collective reputation. On a personal note, it has made my life, and the relationships and career opportunities I have tried to make for myself as a Romani critic, infinitely harder to achieve.

If you think I'm talking about you, or one of your little friends, I probably am. A lot of you would get kicked out conventions for talking to industry folks in person the way you do on Twitter, and if that doesn't mean anything to you, then you are not socialized enough to be speaking to professional adults about their own work in the first place.

[summermoonshine]

Call Of Duty MWIII - SPOILERS

Below, some clips + videos from MWIII where we'll analyse what happened to Soap.

After sharing them, however, I would like to say a few things (if you not interested in this, I understand, but please: just skip that part as I really need to vent about the matter; my apologies).

Now, the clips.

Let's start with the Soap's death (full video will be uploaded in a separate post because it deserves respect):

Wanting to deliberately leave out the fact that Makarov had complete freedom to engage a firefight without being captured (the idiotic run after killing Soap is truly ridiculous compared to Makarov in MW3), what is inevitable to do is, for me, to compare the dynamics with something already seen: does this scene remind you of anything? No? Maybe this will jog your memory:

This is in addition to what said by Makarov to Captain Price:

"Never bury your enemies alive". Who else was buried alive if not Ghost himself (according to '09 backstory)? This could justify the lack of an official backstory for Ghost 22: would Soap's death be his true downfall into the underworld? Mh.

Speaking of him, I so resent Soap's death for many reasons (which I'll discuss shortly), but above all because by killing him, they also killed Ghost: one shot, two deaths. Ghost had started to live again thanks to Soap, and it was with him that he died, too. Until the end, he was stood next to him because ''no one fights alone''. The fact that, even under the threat of a bomb capable of neutralizing half the world, Ghost chose to remain next to Soap as he bled to death to me is everything. The stone-cold man, detached and attached only to the field manual (where friendship does not even appear), he is the one who SCREAMS his sergeant's name. Let's hear the pain in his voice:

Sure, it could be a standard reaction of any man who sees his teammate killed before his eyes, but no one would expect such a reaction from the 'stone-cold man'. But a mask isn't enough to hide the pain: He's lost; his eyes roaming for help:

He's out of breath, his chest moving up and down as if he's not just catching his breath, but holding back an explosion. Cry? Tears? Anger?

I slowed down this part to highlight how the head-shake was not just to confirm the death, indicating that there was nothing left to be done, but it was personal: he can't believe his eyes, and his heavy breathing confirms it.

At that precise moment, they didn't just kill Ghost; they killed Simon, too.

In fact, in the clip below (I cut+slowed it) it's Simon (see the mask) who takes care of Johnny after his death: he keeps Johnny in his backpack, holds the urn from start to finish, he has the task of scattering the ashes in what appears to be a Scottish's mountain, and he is the one who brings HIM back home with him.

He is family.

It's precisely when talking about family that I can't stop thinking about the quantity of ashes in his urn. The amount of ashes is small: what if half the ashes went to Soap's family and Ghost kept the other half?

Also, Soap has managed to make himself loved by everyone, and this is why I consider this scene (pic below) to be of fundamental importance: the act of adding his nickname stands for: ''you were not a soldier, but something dear to me''.

The document is drawn up by Laswell, the one who protected Task Force 141 from behind the scenes even when General Shepherd had betrayed them, showing that the relationship between them all goes far beyond the working one:

it is a matter of heart.

-

It's for this reason that I feel like I must say some things about all this: there is so much to say actually but, as absurd as it may be, I felt the strong need to take some time for myself and understand what to do with this pain. As a player and historical supporter of the COD saga, I can say that in 20 years I have never seen the fandom as active, lively and full of passion as in 2022.

As I already explained, it was vital to me that AV gave Soap another chance after mw3. Sure, it's a war videogame and deaths are therefore inevitable, but killing the same character twice with the sole hope of making us hate Makarov so as to have more hype for the next COD (which, personally, I doubt will follow this arc since I define it now concluded although there are still unresolved issues) it was a stupid move to make, because by doing so we are hating AV, not Price or Makarov himself.

Furthermore, what is most infuriating is that if the COD family has started to be so creative and enthusiastic again, it is above all thanks to Saop (and to our Neil along with others VA; unfortunately, not every one of them).

Each of the protagonists in MWII was perfect, earning a special place in our hearts, but it is clear that Soap and the relationship established with Ghost were the catalyst of definitive affection that connected us so deeply to the reboot, leading us to buy even a new game that, more than a campaign, more than a DLC, is a scam:

rushed dialogues, too many characters piled on top of each other, typical warzone game dynamics with such a short duration that each level becomes chaotic etc etc etc… 2, maximum 3 hours later, we find ourselves with a Soap killed, slaughtered and left to die with total dullness and without any emotional focus DURING our game without even receiving a cutscene dedicated to him.

And, as if that wasn't enough, by killing him, Ghost was also indirectly killed: for once, perhaps for the first real time, that man - always represented as cold - had found a family and something, someone to hold on to : taking it, taking HIM, away from him, they demolished two people with a single shot.

Atrocious.

Treating one of the characters who has practically supported the entire current COD fortune on his shoulders in this way is, for me, a great injustice, as well as a stupid move.

Again, I don't hate Makarov; I hate AV.

Soap 22 will forever be our comfort zone, because he has never been just a video game character, but our home.

[spacedlexi]

I totally get your point about the kenny/Jane thing. In my opinion the best outcome is letting Kenny kill Jane (honestly Jane brought that to herself, all of them knew that if he lost someone else he would finally go ballistic and she deliberately put him on that spot to prove "a point") and then staying in Wellington, because Kenny acknowledges that he's not fit enough to care for her and AJ anymore, so he begs Clem to stay. He's aware that he's not right for the job, and he accomplished his mission, he stayed loyal to Lee and left. It also gives the opportunity to speculate whether he finally found peace after all his suffering. (Even if the original idea was him offing himself in the Virginia lake after that)

i always find myself struggling to talk about S2 because i know the writers changed direction (multiple times?) as the season was releasing??? which means character arcs and motivations were altered to fit this new direction and its like painfully obvious sometimes especially when it comes to kenny and jane and luke

i hate when writers cant commit to the bit. and that kind of happens with kenny. which is weird because even tho they decided against him literally being carvers character (which wouldve worked perfectly for a luke v kenny ending), they still try to give him that carver storyline. like.. i could see kenny easily being in carvers position at howes. just like lilly in S4 with the delta. these two characters wanted leadership and never liked any pushback from the people around them. i can also see the kenny we knew from S1 turning into a man like carver in S2 (a dude who has lost a lot and whose methods are becoming more extreme to keep people safe) and i think kenny being carver instead wouldve made carver a much deeper and more interesting antagonist. like carver is fine. he works although his beef with this 11yo is weird. but we dont buy it when bonnie tells us he used to be a cool guy. we've only ever seen carver as a murderer. but if it was kenny in this role then immediately we add a lot of baggage to this character and his relationship with clem and her new relationship with the howes group. like we know kenny and we know what hes capable of but we also understand his motivations and we do believe that deep down kenny does want whats best to keep his people safe. and clem reappearing in the life of THIS kenny wouldve been Huge as he wouldve already begun his descent and clem is the only one who can really get through to him (like they still try to do when all the adults are like "uuuh clem you go talk to the angry man theres no way he'll listen to US"). i think they were afraid of making kenny an outright antagonist though and instead tried to have their cake and eat it too which just kinda...leads to mess... commit to your characters dark spirals and downfalls i hate this wishy washy bullshit. plus having kenny as carver instead wouldve centered clem in the howes discussion more. as it stands she just kinda gets swept up in everyone elses bullshit and just has to go along with it. classic child experience tho

jane pretending that aj was dead to intentionally push kenny over the edge just to "prove" to clem that hes dangerous was SOOOOO unnecessary jane!!! like we know girl!! we know!!! and when he tries to kill her for it its like...i know you saw this coming jane so how did you expect this to end?? was she just hoping she'd win the fight? she even tells clem to stay out of whatever was about to happen (plus she does genuinely put ajs life in real danger by leaving him in that car where they were lucky to hear his cries). but i think this problem stems from them changing it out from being a luke v kenny showdown. i think that ending wouldve culminated more naturally as their beef was slowly building since they first met. disagreement in leadership styles. that silly little middle school "choose who to sit with at dinner" thing felt like foreshadowing of a luke v kenny fight that just never happened. they needed to create a reason for kenny to attack jane as jane doesnt care about leadership she cares about keeping herself safe so the whole aj thing just....feels forced. like... jane why....Why........ where did your self preservation go...its like your whole character...

so...yeah.... i have a lot of conflicting feelings about S2 and its ending. on my recent playthrough i had clem tell kenny that maybe lee Shouldnt have come to save her in S1, trying to be all "boo hoo im so sad i get everyone i love killed boo hoo" and kenny responds by saying he should SMACK her for that???? i was so shocked that i missed taking the screenshot of it. i gasped audibly... turned into a "matter of time" situation for me (even tho things seem fine enough in the S3 flashbacks hes weirdly normal again and still talking about boats). kenny is definitely a broken man hanging on by a Singular Thread by the end of S2 and jane snaps it. this is why i like leaving kenny behind at wellington. clem and aj are definitely the light of his life at this point and he wants whats best for them. leaving them at wellington is really the best thing he can do for them both and its very sad because we know he Needs them. and clem would want to hold onto whoever she has left so its hard for her too. throughout all the seasons clem and aj are seen as the light in the darkness the hope for the future yadda yadda and kenny losing that? yeah i can see why the virginia lake idea was a thing. but thats ALSO why i like the clem shoots kenny ending. this man just wants it to be over he misses his family so much he cant take this shit anymore. staying with kenny into S3 really feels like we're stretching out his character as far as possible. it kinda feels like they hit the reset button on him and hes back to talking about boats. i feel like post S2 they just didnt really know what to do with him or jane. i feel like their endings in S2 are the most narratively fulfilling for their characters and i want clem to enter S3 on her own

[mywingsareonwheels]

I’ve been thinking about Douglas’s antagonism towards Herc despite their past friendship and, OUCH. Now I have feelings.

Herc’s everything Douglas wants to be and once fooled the world he was and carries the image of being. Smooth, charming, unflappable - which Anthony Head portrays gloriously, immediately making Douglas seem less so in comparison. Four ex-wives but he carries them so much more lightly than Douglas’s three (I somehow doubt that Herc was ever cheated on, or has a daughter that he misses painfully). No disgraces, no addiction problems. None - at least as it seems to Douglas - of Douglas’s intense vulnerability underneath all of the snark and charisma. And Herc was there for Douglas’s downfall. From almost the first moment Herc is managing to remind Douglas of that, and whether it’s deliberate or not is rather besides the point. And in Herc’s first episode he manages to make it clear that there’s no chance of Douglas ever going back to the kind of career he once had, and refuses - however gently and tactfully - to help him. Whatever friendship they once had... that’s not happening. Ouch, frankly.

And aaargh it’s just occurred to me that “Rotterdam” parallels Martin with Paramount Martin and Martin is threatened, but it does *exactly* the same with Douglas and Herc. Martin’s just a lot more open about his insecurity. Martin and Douglas are so much more alike than either would acknowledge.

And then there’s the fact that in his own way Douglas is very protective of all three of the other members of MJN, and he does not trust Herc with Carolyn’s heart, not even a tiny tiny bit. Let alone with Arthur’s, in a stepfatherly way. That bit’s genuinely selfless, I think (well, coupled perhaps with not wanting to deal with a miserable Carolyn making his life harder; he is the man with all the ulterior motives after all). It’s also sensible: I mean, no one could have seen Herc being willing to change for Carolyn, not even Herc.

And then there is (much more reprehensibly), as John Finnemore has noted, a certain dog-in-the-manger attitude that Douglas has to Carolyn: he doesn’t necessarily want to make a move on her but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be happy for anyone else to do so.

Perhaps above all: I somehow doubt that Herc ever had a Rory. Douglas became the mask, and is pretty happy with that most of the time, but Herc, I think it’s implied, was always like that.

By the end of the show it’s clear that things are thawing considerably, as Herc proves himself to be an increasingly good partner to Carolyn and (even more importantly?) stepfather to Arthur (and yet without threatening Douglas’s own paternal relationship with the latter), and as the resolution has Douglas being so much happier himself, and becoming the captain (and official Team Dad) of OJS. They can all happily fly off into the sunset together, as by that point they all deserve, which is great. :D 

But just... gah. I love the fact that this apparently silly little radio sitcom just has so many hundreds of layers, and Roger Allam is incapable of not delivering a multilayered and gloriously textured performance in everything he does. Douglas is infuriating and hilarious and a delight and yet some of the time absolutely damn heartbreaking.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Ludwig (1973)

I went through so much trouble to watch this stupid film and it took me so long to watch it because its four hours long and I kept getting headaches while watching and had to keep taking breaks, but it was all worth it because this film was so unbearably unbelievably good, its my favorite thing in this whole marathon so far by a long shot

Its so good Im actually having trouble talking about it because I truly have no complaints, but I cant just talk about what I liked either because its basically everything. The pacing was great, it could get slow at times but it was never unengaging and if it werent for my headaches I wouldve definitely been able to watch the whole film in one sitting, which is high praise coming from my low attention span-ass. I feel like I never really mention the cinematography in these posts because its usually just fine in a very unremarkable way, but it was absolutely amazing in this one, the framing and composition of every scene felt so deliberate, its like every shot was a painting.

The acting was incredible, I was a little unsure about some of the performances initially because this is an english-language film mostly starring actors who are very noticeably not native english-speakers and I thought it would interfere with their acting because idk, some of the early line-deliveries had that kind of stilted kid-having-to-read-something-outloud-in-english-class quality to them, but that ended up not being the case at all. Helmut Berger as Ludwig was especially great, he did such a good job capturing him, both in the very beginning when he's this naive romantic/idealist and later in the film when he becomes more disillusioned and unhinged. He was also very babygirl, similar to the actor who played him in Ludwig — Glanz und Ende eines Königs (1955), so I liked that. Romy Schneider of the Sissi-trilogy played Elisabeth here as well and I really liked her too, she's still very charismatic and I think she did a great job with this more flawed and less romanticised portrayal.

To be honest, I was really expecting Elisabeth to play a bigger role in this film, I think the synopsis that I read gave me the impression that it would show both of their lives and sortof parallel them or something, but that wasnt the case, it was really just Ludwig's life, from his coronation to his death, and Elisabeth was in it sometimes because theyre important to each other and like to spend time together. They have some romantic tension and they even kiss each other on the lips in one scene, which suprised me, but it wasnt really elaborated on, it causes some drama between her and Sophie when she's engaged, but after they break it off the film mostly focuses on Ludwig's relationships with men while focusing less on Elisabeth as he starts to isolate himself. Also, speaking of his relationships with men, I am very disappointed to tell you that there was not nearly as much sexual tension between him and and Richard Wagner as in the other film. for shame.

Anyway, I cant really think of a way to organically transition into the next section, and theres really only one last thing that I wanted to talk about, so Im just gonna talk about it. I said earlier that this was an english-language film but it also has a lot of sections in italian and bits in german. Now, the german bits are like, theres a scene where Sophie sings a song from a german opera and whenever theres large crowds shouting stuff theyre shouting in german (like at the very end when theyre all looking for Ludwig after he went outside with his doctor), which I like because I feel like it adds a certain authenticity to those scenes, but the italian parts are just kinda confusing to me. The film has these little talking heads segments where its characters from the film, usually right before they take an active role in the story, talking about like, Ludwig's downfall is how I'd describe it (except for Richard Hornig, hes just like "Ive been his confidant for 10 years and thats all Im gonna say" which is cool), and the first few of those segments are in italian while the rest of the film is in english, so I initially assumed that those would be the only italian parts, but then we get a scene of Ludwig and Elisabeth talking that starts in english but then in the middle of it, theyre just suddenly speaking italian. And thats something that keeps happening throughout, sometimes theres just random italian scenes or scenes that randomly switch into italian, and some of those talking heads segments are inexplicably english, its very strange and honestly pretty jarring, I had to keep switching between the raw film and a version with english subtitles to properly keep up. So I guess that would be my one complaint for this film, but honestly Im not even sure if it was meant to be viewed that way ?? Like, the wikipedia page doesnt mention the fact that this movie was filmed in two languages even though I feel like that would be worth mentioning, and the italian parts all have this dubbed-in quality to them, like the audio quality is a bit different and Ludwig's voice sounds completely different when he's speaking italian vs when he's speaking english, its weird. But I mean, it didnt disturb my experience watching this, its basically just giving me an excuse to make my very own subtitles which Im looking forward to because itll give me the chance to rewatch it

So yeah, that's it. In conclusion, this film is really great and you should definitely watch it if you have four hours to spare and no headache

[evenstar-ing]

the saddest thing about kafka is that reading the letters for his father explains the. everything about the man. like

“I was convinced I would never even get through the first year at school, but I succeeded, I was even awarded a prize; but I would certainly never pass the grammar-school entrance exam, yet again I succeeded; but then I would certainly fail my year at school, but no, I did not fail, in fact I kept on succeeding. But this did not give me confidence, on the contrary, I became convinced - and your disapproving face was formal proof of this - that the more I succeeded, the worse my eventual downfall would be.”

"When I began something which didn’t please you and you threatened me with failure, my awe for your opinion was so great that failure was unavoidable – perhaps at first, if not, then later.  I lost the confidence to do anything.  I was unsettled, doubtful.  And the older I was, the more solid was the material with which you could demonstrate how worthless I was; and gradually, to a certain extent, you became right"

and then you get stuff like this, on his other letters

"I feel that I have experienced nothing, learned nothing, that I actually know less than the average schoolboy, and that what I do know is superficial, and that every second question is beyond me. I am incapable of thinking deliberately; my thoughts run into a wall. I can grasp the essence of things in isolation, but I am quite incapable of coherent, unbroken thinking. I can’t even tell a story properly; in fact, I can scarcely talk."

"There are times when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship."

[chaotic-theatrical-weaver]

In honor of my completion of DWTC annotations, I present to you my resurfaced thoughts on how the Proctors' attachment styles create their dynamic because it's become my Default Thought (TM) again and I will never in fact get over this.

So there's Elizabeth and she's fearful-avoidant, and there's John and he's anxiously-attached. (Note that it is a documented phenomenon to have the anxiously-attached subconsciously seek avoidant partners who aren't quite that available.) They both experience some level of anxiety about the relationship, but he personalizes her avoidant tendencies and believes they're about him specifically. They're not--she's just afraid he'll realize she's more broken and less lovable than he thinks.* This personalization of her avoidant tendencies, combined with their mutual inability to discuss their anxieties (on her end, obviously out of the aforementioned avoidance, and on his end, out of gender roles where he, as a man, cannot openly express his anxious attachment), ultimately leads to their downfall. Both are willing to burn their candles at both ends for each other regardless of personal cost, but neither is able to communicate and his tolerance for the frustration and distress of it all turns out to be lower.**

*Would this be an Ellie post if I didn't discuss how their disorders play into this? Of course not, so I am now going to discuss how their disorders play into this! I've mentioned before the idea of John's splitting in relation to Elizabeth as his designated "favorite person" and that he swings from idealization to disappointment when their communication fails. What I have not mentioned before is that both approaches make her feel even more unworthy. "Why does he think of me as so wonderful? He's going to realize soon that I'm not as lovable as he thinks," then, "So he's finally realized I'm not as lovable as he thinks. I knew he would, but why did it have to be just when I thought I was safe?" See also the chorus of "all my daughters" by dodie. It fits so perfectly. (The flipside of this is of course that when he turns his splitting on himself following his affair, he expects her to be thinking of him the same way, even though she's not--she's hurt, but not to the point of viewing him as solely bad. "I never thought you anything but a good man, John, only bewildered somewhat," anyone?) On the other end, I've mentioned before what the idea of reading Elizabeth as on the spectrum implies for her character: alexithymia makes cognitive empathy harder, so she knows something is wrong but can't quite put words to it that easily. She's also more prone to the ignition of rejection sensitive dysphoria, so...let's just say for a third time that her husband's splitting doesn't help, as well as that the time period's inability to understand her symptoms as anything other than deliberate resistance is also a factor. (Oh, and by the way, this absolutely includes her own inability to understand her symptoms as anything other than deliberate resistance! She feels inherently broken and yet finds herself seemingly unfixable.) I've said before that perhaps her low self-esteem comes from this misunderstanding and the resulting mistreatment, which gave her the fearful-avoidant attachment that she carries with her into her marriage.

**This is not necessarily a bad thing--the bad thing is what it led him to. I would argue that Elizabeth's ability to tolerate that much is a bad thing because she's put up with so much that she cannot believe she is worth asking for more.