#whether it be romantic or not or inbetween or Whatever the fuck man

[p1x1x]

asking out of curiosity, you describe your headcanon for saya and vitas relationship as a mostly one sided crush, right? do you also hc saya and vita around the same age or does saya not reciprocate at all because she's older

saya’s definitely older, i read her as an adult… doesn’t reciprocate in the same way vita feels, but still cares for her. if you want whatever’s running around my head though… its delusional

vita -> saya: a “crush” of sorts happens as a result of saya being the only other person that shows a semblance of care for her. with the feeling of “missing connection” and not wanting to be alone (somewhere in 12-4 and 12-5), she wants to be with saya in a way? she confuses these feelings as just “romantic” simply because she cant remember wanting such things before (a given since memories gone and all) and not knowing any name for them other than romantic since she’s young. then there’s just the simple fact that saya is pretty (lol), but in a world with so few, saya’s really reliable and… basically a pillar in vita’s life here? (first meetings in arcaea are always significant tbh)

how it develops later? honestly i’m fine with vita’s crush being laced with actual romantic ideas, childish curiosity and perhaps having seen love shown in a couple memories. but i like thinking the root of it all is just a desire to be cared for really, relating to the whole “missing connection” with others aspect. though she can’t remember her guilt and what she’s done, those last few moments of her life definitely had an impact (maybe enough to carry over as a part of her personality, given the way everyone in arcaea has their personality in tact despite missing memories). combine that with waking up and being alone for a month’s time, it makes sense for her to be more sensitive and clingy than a normal child. so even though she can’t find/remember the reason why, she’s afraid of losing saya, which inadvertently makes her want to be closer : P

saya -> vita: saya doesnt reciprocate those types of feelings exactly, but she isn’t as much of a jerk as she might appear to lethe. she chalks up vita’s clinginess as her just being a sensitive kid, and not wanting her to cry, she doesn’t outright push vita away. but i do think she does grow very fond of vita at the very least, with the way vita is an earnest assistant and just a cute kid. saya doesn’t really show it in any words or anything, but just… actions. still letting vita blow her nose with her cape (other hc, even though vita has her own cape lmao), implied to have carried vita (probably got tired on their travels), letting vita cling to her in her sleep (leading into another hc of vita having nightmares (probably of losing saya or something related to World Goes Wrong whatever), in which saya might hold her closer as comfort)…

headpats are cute. in the case of vita growing clingier or wanting more affection? just solve with headpats really… cuddles are super rare but that’s probably just times where vita remembers being alone or stuff like that and decides to be a little prickish. saya kinda finds comfort in it as well, it’s cute. human contact and connection here is rare after all, saya’s not as cold as she seems and lethe isnt giving her any in this moment of time unfortunately

the way i like lethesaya working kinda depends on vita and saya having a close relationship so yeah i think they Care about each other. and it also means lethe has to reevaluate her opinion of saya lol (and end up learning how saya really is…)

but i do think divorced lethesaya and adopted kid is hilarious so you could kind of throw some parts of this out .i kinda just hold different configurations of them in my head. everything’s subject to change anyway… idk i think they can be sweet at least… i just like seeing vt happy and cared for tbh

i dont think you were asking for any of this but i yapped because i think theyre both neat. now imagine how long lethesaya post could be if i typed here instead of twitter…

[kniferottt]

Can you do a Ex mafia/ female reader x baxter? And baxter just being swooned by readers tattoos and strength and reader just being swooned by baxters nerdy side? Some good 'ol fluff and some good 'ol nsfw pls?

Ily for this request anon omg

Sfw

Baxter is a gremlin (as stated by vivzie) he adores his science more than anything.

He loathes any form of physical touch

Point is baxter is a difficult person, he sees no need for romance or anything of the sorts and he finds everyone to be a nuisance

Despite that baxter can get lonely, no one is really interested of the thing he does really he'd only be made fun of.

That thought changed when one of the people he puts up with aka niffty introduces you to him.

"I know you're not a doctor and all! But i know you have a first aid kit and you can help her- my oh my! It's awful in here! You really need a woman's touch- filthy!"

And before baxter could proceed to yell at niffty to not touch a thing his eyes land on you.

'Holy fucking sh-'

He's floored, you're nothing at all like the females he sees on a daily basis in the hotel (charlie, vaggie, and niffty) tall. Well toned..everywhere, and tattoos decorating where ever your skin was visible.

Oh goodness you were gorgeous and holy fuck for once he doesn't mind being short-

He snaps out of his trance when you quietly ask for the first aid kit, he does as asked and proceeds to watch as she you patch your leg up.

He'd find himself asking your name and from there it is an unlikely conversation and friendship

From there it's not uncommon to see you huddled away in the lab with baxter which is more than surprising. To the point angel has had to drag you out because you're needed somewhere

Hell even alastor has had to send his shadow after you because your assistance is needed

Baxter somehow manages to steal you back everytime.

Spending time in the lab as mentioned. He loves and will always continue to ask you to get an object that needs to be lifted and such.

He adores how strong you are.. And because of that he may or may not abuse it saying he wants to redo the lab... For the 11th time.... That week.

But even with that you find yourself interested in what he does and love seeing him work. He looks so focused all the time you love it.

You could sit there for hours and listen to him talk even when you can't understand certain things.

It's not unusual to see you both having some form of touch which he always seems to initiate. Whether it be your hands near one another. Your knees pressed together when sitting and so on.

You both didn't know what exactly to call the relationship you had it was on the verge of being romantic but not quite.

It wasn't until angel teased you both much to baxter's dismay that you finally put a label on it.

"Say if you're not going to be the scientist's girlfriend mind if i take your place?" "He-" "no. Because I'm his girlfriend."

Baxter . exe has stopped working

Nsfw

To put this bluntly.. Baxter can surprise you when it comes to having intercourse. He may absolutely despise any form of physical touch from anyone for the longest time but that does not mean he hasn't studied the male and female body. He knows just what to do to make you come undone with simply the use of a single finger

Simply because he knows what he's doing doesn't mean he's not flustered or shys away from it. You have to get him into the mood or else he's not budging.

But this is you we're talking about, he already adores you and will do anything for you. A simple whisper of his name in his ear or a tug on his light and he'll know what you want and he'll gladly give.

He prefers giving rather than receiving as he's still not quite used to physical touch especially in that manner

With that being said this man will eat you out as if you were his last fucking meal. Its not unusual to find your inner thighs decorated with bite marks and hickey's. He adores the sight of them so he'll find any opportunity he can when you're seated to leave them upon your neck or slip himself inbetween your legs.

On those rare days though when he's looking for attention he'll actually be affectionate which will signal he wants something from you.

Again even before that he'll take care of you first but then afterwards it's his time and he'll proceed to fuck you on whatever surface he can get you on. Whether it be your shared bed or upon one of the tables in his lab and when it comes to being in the lab he won't stop.. For anyone. If someone walks on.. Then they walk in.

It's not unusual to hear your moaning from the outside of the lab... So it really is on whoever walks in since you're quite loud.

..breeding kink? breeding kink.

Please be patient with him though, he'll take his time and will easily and willingly put you through overstimulation to finish himself.

He'll make up for it though with after care! He's not cruel....most of the time. He does have his moments.

[xhuth]

lessee the rundown of warnings here.... nsfw, sex and sexuality talk, suicide, potential tmi, general depression and trauma thinkings

usually i post this stuff on my locked twitter but 1. i dont feel like writing out a dozen tweets on my phone and 2. i only have like 4 followers there so no one sees anyway and i dont get my Sweet Validation

but like i just realized how unaware i am of all the stuff going on around me, friends/people i know having sex and stuff and i know thats nothing to write home about or be like I CANT BELIEVE SEX IN HIGH SCHOOL, UNTHINKABLE but its just so weird to me, it floors me, because like... nothing of any kind of romantic or sexual nature has ever been relevant in my life, if that makes sense. and also the school got its existing ban from certain rooms in the college buildings reaffirmed once again because of Shenanigans going on there which my friends told me included students making out and fucking in the conference rooms or whatever and im just like... why?? how?? people are having sex?? people do this in the university buildings?? im not shocked out of like. Disrespecting the space (although it is disrespecting the space but if youre in private whatever) but just like... ive never been actually cognizant of/have considered people around me having sex at all let alone all over the fucking place.

anyway this is sounding dumb and makes no sense but its mostly about how like, im so baffled by it all because nothing of this nature has ever come up in my life... ive always been like yeah w/e idc about sex and relationships and all that but then thinking about it more i think about how, oh cool no one has had interest in me in any sense ever and neither have i in any person, i erroneously assumed (not even assumed but like...just didnt even think about?) everyone around me was the same lol. and then i get into thinking oh im never gonna love or be intimate with anybody

and then that gets into me questioning if me being a lesbian is just performative and that i should just Accept that im actually aroace and a fake gay because ive never loved anybody and ive never felt any type of sexual attraction or physical sexual urge (like being Horny lmao not just me thinking about it Sure Would Be Nice To Be With Someone)(and these thoughts are newish like from in the past year honestly, ive never really cared about relationships) and i just see how different everyone else is from me. but i dont want to be aroace! i dont want to not love anybody and i dont want to not be able to be or desire to be sexually intimate but i feel like im just lying to myself lmao. and the layers keep going on like “well you just arent used to accepting that” but i know thats not true because i am, i used to id as ace pretty proudly and even aroace for a short time lmao.

but what girl would ever love me anyway? and if she did, would i even love her back? i dont feel any type of love! i had a crush once in 7th grade and it was on a boy and it was totally unprompted and unwanted and i always go back to that in my mind, i have forgotten the feeling now but it adds to my anxiety about just being a Performative Lesbian and not a Real One who Loves Girls For Real and i know you can be a lesbian and still be attracted to men but i still feel fake. i dont want to love men, and i dont love men, and i dont want to ever be with a man. just a lot of internalized doubt and confusion about Who I Am. this is totally rambley and not making sense lol.

i WANT to be a lesbian, when i think about love between women its... the most beautiful thing i can imagine. and i want to feel that. but i feel like i wont ever, whether its from me not being able to or no one ever loving me, lol.  and then im continuously frustrated about how i cant get sexually aroused for shit, the closest i can get is feeling a little warm reading something hot or whatever. this is getting into tmi range lmaooo but its just so... i feel so hindered, i want to be able to feel things, feel SOMETHING, and i fucking cant, and im so desperate to have some kind of feeling, mentally or physically, i want to feel pleasure or just something thats not just fucking null. logically i suspect i cant feel anything is because trauma (which, i have accepted my experiences as trauma but im starting to doubt again lmao) and being on SSRIs but its so hard, if i worked past the trauma i would still be on medications that kill a libido i dont even know if i have.  and my medication now has been making me have fewer suicidal episodes and honestly i fucking hate it. i hate feeling so inbetween. i would rather be suicidal than this... stalemate where i dont feel better or worse and im still not able to work towards doing the things i need to do. i would rather be suicidal and useless than neutral and useless.  either way i cant do shit, might as well feel something and have some idea of what im gonna do if im like this!

i originally didnt intend to write this much but i did and if you read all of this im honestly so thankful, thanks for reading all my shit. im not...soliciting anyone to respond, dont respond if you dont want to, but i would like to talk about this with anyone else who might also want to talk about it. idk. sometimes its not clear whether people are seeking responses or do not want to be spoken to on vent posts so just clarifying im “feel free to reply” and by “feel free” i mean “if you had something to say it would mean so much to me for you to say it/speak to me about it”