#whereas there's a lot more subs around that want to be dommed so i can practice that muscle more often. and the same goes for top/bottoming

[officialpenisenvy]

are you a domme?

im a switch but im wayyy more comfortable domming than subbing except in very specific scenarios. which happens to be the same attitude i have to topping lol

[multi-kpop-fanfics]

tw: hybrid!AU, roommates!AU, wolf hybrid!Seungcheol, bunny hybrid!reader (fem bodied), dom/sub dynamics, power play (, breeding, mounting, knotting, mentions of heat and medication, manhandling, degradation, use of petnames

happy birthday @lipglossjun!

tagging @horanghoe ty for the inspo love <3

Living as a hybrid can cause a lot of difficulties on your daily life - especially when it comes to sharing an apartment with someone.

Specifically as a bunny hybrid like yourself.

As nature intended, bunnies are regarded as prey, whereas bigger, more feral animals are regarded as predators. Such as wolves.

So, imagine how terrified you were when you found out that your roommate is a wolf hybrid.

Although this fear was quickly dissipated because Seungcheol has proven to be a very cooperative and sweet person, despite his very much scary exterior.

Maybe it was because he's really bulky and strong, or maybe because he has the scent of an alpha wolf.

Oh, about that - there's another problem that comes with the hybrid starter kit - ultra sensitive senses and the occasional heats.

The second one can be bearable with the right suppressants, but smelling your roommate's scent on a daily basis? That's fucking torture.

Seungcheol's natural musk, combined with the cologne he uses is enough to send your mind spiraling down the nine circles of Dante's inferno and backwards and your insides burning like a furnace and your panties soaked beyond salvation.

You wonder if he's experiencing the same struggle you do, or maybe he has nerves of steel and patience of a saint, because quite frankly, Seungcheol seems utterly unbothered.

That is, until your heat comes the same time his heat does.

And it's the worst case scenario - late Saturday evening, no pharmacies open and you've ran out of heat suppressants.

Your legs feel like jelly, your entire body is on fire and you're beyond embarrassed to go ask Seungcheol for some pills because your heat is actually bad this time.

You're softly knocking on the door of his bedroom, suppressing your whimpers as much as possible, his scent immediately invading your nostrils.

"Y/N, please don't come in" you hear Seungcheol from the other end, strain evident in his voice.

"Cheol, please, I need some of your suppressants, I ran out of mine, please!" you beg with a whiny voice.

The door flies open and you flinch, your eyes meeting Seungcheol's dilated pupils. He's only wearing his boxers, sweat dripping down his body, his musk now ten times stronger than before.

"My suppressants didn't fucking work" he groans, "And your heat doesn't help at all, bunny"

"You're not better than me!" you whine in defeat, knees growing weaker by the second.

"If you don't leave now, I don't think I'll be able to restrain myself, Y/N. And trust me, you don't want to mess with a wolf's primal instincts" he warns you, but your own primal instincts have already taken over you.

Which is exactly the reason you're currently naked on his bed, your hole stuffed with his cock.

"Cheollie, your c-cock!" you whine, your fluffy little tail trembling every time Seungcheol rams his cock in your cunt, his hands keeping you locked in your place.

"God, look at you, letting a big, bad wolf like me mount you and fuck your tight little bunny hole" he growls on top of you, "Is that what you wanted, angel? To be fucked like a whore in your heat?"

"W-want you to fuck like that all the t-time" you whimper, "Your scent d-drives me nuts, can't stop thinking about having your cock in me"

"Fuck, bunny, you're gonna make me drool, the room is full of your scent" Seungcheol lets out an obscene growl. He plants his knees on the mattress, bending his head down to lick a long stripe on your back, making you shiver, your tail wagging excitedly.

"What is it, bunny? Wagging your lil fluffy tail? You enjoy being preyed upon by an alpha wolf?"

"Y-Yes, I'm an alpha's p-prey, y-your prey" you stutter, pussy clenching around his cock, your slick dripping down your thighs.

"Fucking right, bunny baby - my precious prey, shit - Gonna take my knot like the good little bitch you are, take my cum and keep it all in" Seungcheol moans in your ear, his wolf instincts fully integrated into his brain.

You scream his name when you cum, feeling his knot expand in your hole, his cum flooding your pussy but not a single drop escapes, the knot successfully keeping you still.

Seungcheol collapses on top of you, his knot still firm inside you, trying to catch his breath. You're still panting like crazy, a small whimper leaving your mouth when he gently holds your hand, lacing his fingers with yours.

"I'm sorry" he mutters.

"Cheol, why are you apologizing?"

"I was too rough on you-"

"You know that's not true"

"But-"

"No, I wanted this and I can handle this" you insist, trying to move, but you fail miserably, legs twitching from hypersensitivity.

"Y/N, wait, fuck, the knot-"

"H-How the fuck is it still so hard-"

"I'm on my heat, remember?" Seungcheol lets out a breathy chuckle, pressing a kiss on your shoulder.

"Good thing I'm on my heat too then" you grin like an imp, "Because bunnies are known for their stamina".

Seungcheol growls at your response, planting his palms on the mattress on each side of your head, bucking his hips in you, jutting his thick knot deeper inside you.

"Don't make the big, bad wolf angry, little bunny, or else he'll bite you."

[synapticjive]

"Mask Off" Initial Thoughts

Okay, after marinating on all of this...

For context, I'm playing as a ruthless evil Durge, and it made sense in my RP to ascend Astarion. At some point well into Act 2, I was unable to persuade Astarion out of ascending. His choice to ascend locked in fairly early for me. Every time I challenged him, it defaulted to him making excuses and insisting that ascending was worthwhile, that I was worrying for nothing. He's naturally eager that I'm Bhaalspawn, and the "don't let him" dialogue felt very out-of-place considering how cold and detached we were becoming (don't ask me why, I'm still wrapping my head around this.)

The ascension was a welcomed change of pace, as was Durge's baptism. But regarding the mask...

Spawn Astarion does clearly read as someone who is deeply wounded and using performance/charm/sexuality as a way to manipulate others- for vengeance, for control, for power, for safety, and eventually with Tav/Durge, for intimacy. I do think he's always had a bloodlust and intense hatred for others that a) cross him and b) that he perceives as lesser than him- this is especially true if you think that his history as a magistrate and slaver (controversial) is canon. His past mistakes and/or problematic viewpoints are no way a justification for his experience of sexual abuse and trafficking, it just intensifies and complicates his recovery and relationship building. It explains why he uses Tav/Durge, but then when his sudden feelings are reciprocated, he can't let go.

I've had limited access to clips of spawn Astarion throughout Act 3, and I have no idea how he reacts to Tav/Durge. I saw some epilogue clips, just barely, and I can't conceive of how we even get to that point, considering how much pain he's in, how much ground we'd need to cover in getting him to that place of near acceptance and peace(-ish). I guess a lot goes down in those 6 months, huh?

I always thought A!A (granted, I love him, I love dark romances and awful villains) was just all of his growth locked in time and space, just completely coming to a grinding halt. I don't think that his progress with Tav/Durge is undone (if that was the case, he wouldn't love you anymore or even understand the purpose of you in his life). He's just raw in his anger, vitriol, using his power(s) to protect him from all of the pain and fear that he experienced. Power, wealth, and violence are what protect him now, not Tav/Durge. He doesn't "need" you, but he still wants to "own" you because he... loves you, sort-of. You're under his skin, and he can't let go, I think. Or maybe he still wants something from you, maybe subjugating you somehow amplifies his power fantasy, especially with someone he seems to control and can tolerate ("you're degrading yourself/he can do that.")

He's always had a power fantasy, he's always loved dom/sub dynamics (hinted at in the game,) and so far, as evil Durge, he's been treating my character well (she also doesn't want to leave, not yet anyway.)

I'm still waiting to finish this first playthrough before I have more conclusive thoughts. Preliminary: he's not masking his anger/his dark triad (lol) as AA, whereas he was desperately trying to as a spawn. He doesn't give a single fuck about how people feel about it once he ascends, it's just him and you and everyone beneath you both as far as he's concerned.

Sorry, lots of thoughts, y'all. I need to play an origin run & a spawn Astarion romance to get the full picture.

[cosmicswritings]

#also this is me just wanting a happy sparkling megastar au where starscream carries because#there are absolutely no happy megastar aus where starscream is a carrier it's always the other way around -ESPECIALLY tfp#like carrier starscream is usually seen as a punishment or to make him seem weak...same with submissive/bottom starscream tbh#kajdfl;ajf #like i hate how a lot of carrier starscream megastar is like this bad - traumatic thing for starscream whereas when it's the other way#around it's a good thing - same with making him sub and people don't realize the weird message that conveys

bro you LITERALLY put one of my biggest issues with megastar into words. I didn't know what the issue was and why I got weirded out by a lot of content but this is it. Especially 'when it's the other way around it's a good thing' part. People either make sub starscream the worst thing possible or talk about it like it's the worst thing to ever happen to his character and then flip things around with him and make him dom/sire and then suddenly he's not weak anymore. I wish people would put in more effort into making carrier/sub Starscream a good thing rather than making it this shameful, taboo thing that he's ashamed of. I really don't mind how people ship Starscream but like you I've noticed a ton of weird vibes. People can do what they want but you honestly just explained my issue with a lot of it.

putting this all under a cut --

In a funny way you put MY words words into words . THANK YOU.

this isn't the case for everyone, but it's something i've seen a lot. i've seen people who will write fics with starscream carrying with megatron and it's the worst experience for him, but then the other way it's like supposed to be good or even to show that starscream is powerful, or isn't weak or whatever.

It's so hard to find fics, or aus, etc. that have starscream carrying that don't push this idea that it's something truamtic and it's even worse to find people who don't see it that way but in conjunction see carrier megatron as the only 'acceptable' and non traumatic/abusive forms of sparklings and mechpreg in megastar. I don't think people know how weird it is to act as if starscream carrying (or lbr even subbing) by default is a bad thing and that it is the worst thing in the world so the fix if is to flip things around.

and then it's also unfair to megatron to portray him like only one way as a sire. like i hate that so many people portray him as a brutish, harmful and abusive person when he's a sire, when in reality i just find him being a very soft, nervous and caring sire...like do y'all hate him that much?? Do you hate him that much that you just rely on those unfair tropes for him, same with starscream.

but then when it's the otherway around suddenly it's all good. all the abuse, hatred, etc., is all gone??

[wh0lemilk0vich]

alright it's been like 5 minutes but GUESS WHO'S BACK FOR MORE cuz chubby king egg has not left my brain for some godforsaken reason

But let us come together as a community and consider a three-way sitch - hard dom feeder Aemond, soft dom Jace, and chubby sub Aegon. Like I don't know why this trio hits my brain in just the right place but it d o e s and I don't know what to do about it

Like Aemond and Jace don't get along at all, so they're constantly bickering and fighting over Aegon who is just subbed the fuck out at all times. Aemond is rough and mean and likes force feeding, whereas Jace is a lot more coaxing and prefers being condescending rather than cruel when it comes to humiliation, and when he feeds Aegon it's a lot slower and more about getting him into subspace.

Also, this just recently materialized in my prefrontal cortex but for some reason it hits my mind in just the right place that Aegon is a crybaby. He gets easily overstimulated when overfed and will just kind of break down crying at different points, which I imagine Aemond fucking loves. More reason to tease his brother for being a softling with little control of himself.

These three in a bedroom setting would be as comedic as it is kinky - Aemond and Jace basically territory battling over Aegon, who's literally lying there like "boys, boys, no need to fight over lil ol' me" while ABSOLUTELY wanting them to fight over him. Jace delicately unclasping Aegon's doublet until Aemond gets fed up and just rips that shit off with the grace of a neanderthal and the desperation of a starving man.

Aegon would be a hell of a bratty bottom too, but like not even in the traditional way. It wouldn't be like "no, I don't wanna do that" - rather, he just says completely out of pocket shit that confuses the hell out of both Jace and Aemond.

Like they'd be stuffing him with some kind of fancy lemon cake and he'll just start spouting off about how some whore on the street of silk told him that eating lemons makes your cum taste better, and how one of them should taste his cum and let him know if there's a difference. And Jace and Aemond are just standing there, wondering how the hell Aegon came to the conclusion that this was good dirty talk

So they just stuff him enough that he can only whine instead of talking

-🍄

SHROOMIE this means everything to me. I want ever-so-much more of this community of fat sub bratty bitch Aegon truthers.

1. I am so into Jaegond it's not even funny. Like it's the exploring each other's bodies and naturally falling into these roles that just gets me. They could be anyone and anything to the outside world, but in their chambers it's egg is a fat submissive brat to tease and play with, and Aemond and Jace fight over who gets the toy. And you're right Jace is much more manipulative and condescending during his turns with Aegon preferring to tease and play around with him. Ties him up and edges him or plays with him until he's in tears and cums without being touched, twitching and squirming through it. But Aemond is 100% rough and forceful and loves to force feed his brother and humiliate him, grab him, make it clear how fat he's getting, how massive and soft and bitchly he is. Loves playing with/sucking his tits. Tells him if his ass gets any fatter he won't be able to reach his greedy hole anymore.

2. Crybaby Aeg is so fucking wonderful 🥵🥵🥵 he grew up a crybaby and stayed a crybaby and it's just a reflex now. Its not like he doesn't love everything that's happening, still completely hard, but like you said the overstimulation, being over full, and toyed with the entire time, he doesn't have anything else he can do and it makes him look even more cute and pitiful. But what about Aemond licking up Aegon's tears while fucking him and Jace is sucking his tits and edging him like, I'm weaaaaak 🥵

3. Absolutely love the idea of them fighting over Aegon. I bet Jace likes to keep Aegon mostly dressed, because he likes making him a mess in them, feeding him until they're too tight and straining and making him burst some of their fastenings before he finally relents and undoes more. But yeah Aemond is more bestial and feral and he lets his cock do all the thinking so he likes to gracelessly strip Aegon naked and just have his way with him.

4. Aegon's always an absolute dissolute mess which leads to him being a thoughtless little brat saying all of that out of pocket shit. Omg imagine him threatening "just wait until Mother hears about this, you won't be laughing then." Sad little mommy's boy

[rush-the-stars]

your megumi thoughts? 🥺🤲

of course of course

cw: d/s dynamics.

feel like. megumi has switch energy with the right person. i think if you'd rather him be strictly dom, he'd be okay with that. i can also see him being the sub with the right person. i'll talk ab both.

i think something megumi often has lacked in his life is control so to give it to him is no small thing? i think he takes it very seriously. i think, depending on age and experience, he might even be a little wary? or i've talked about this before with him but i think he believes his own desires are so...lewd. they won't even necessarily be that bad but he's just full of a lot of shame/embarrassment maybe at first. i feel like he needs slow coaxing into being a dom or sub. as a dom, at first, a lot of scenes will be you bare and more vulnerable, whereas he remains "buttoned up" so to speak. i think whether he's domming or subbing requires A LOT of trust in you. it takes some time.

i feel like if he has subbed before he feels more confident as a dom, though. i think he'd maybe even want to sub for you, if you'd want that as well. i think it’s almost like he wants to be sure you feel safe with him, so much so, that he’d allow you to do what he’d do to you? i think as a dom he’s not much of a sadist……he DOES like prey/predator dynamics tho. he IS possessive. he may not love inflicting pain, but he does enjoy the mark it leaves behind on you. and if you enjoy it, that’s what matters more. i think he also sorta likes.,,.,trussing you up a bit. a lil meticulous at points. stern when he needs to be. a good brat tamer to wrestle with. gets a lil growly, a lil mean if you like that…

as a sub i think he’s a bit of a brat in his own right. like i said, growly, a bit biting. masochist.,,.,.cries pretty, too. tries to hold it back so badly but when he breaks it’s like a dam bursting. neeeeedy. tbh needy as a dom, too. he needs assurance and a lot of care (it’s the abandonment issues <3). likes to be roughed up quite a bit (he marks up nicely 😵‍💫😵‍💫). i think he also likes to be bossed around lol. cooed at. he pouts but he claims he doesn’t. likes a bit of degradation (maybe along the lines of look how desperate you are // is this what you want? who knew such an uptight boy would want that? // etc.) he can be good if you can tame him a bit…

it’s always a serious dynamic though. megumi doesn’t really play casually, you’re either his whole life or he’ll throw up cry punch the wall.

[sakurashell]

Just spit it out

Content: loner!sub!eren, college au, friends to lovers, mutual pining, smut.

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x fem bodied reader

Content warning: minors do not interact. Explicit language, sub Eren, virginity loss, kind of dom/sub relationship, oral (m receiving), handjob, overstimulation, orgasm denial, light bondage, praise kink, slight degradation kink, unprotected sex, creampie, porn with plot.

Word count: 4.1 k

Summary: after years of being friends with Eren and months of trying to make him confess his crush on you, you get tired and decide to take the matter in your own hands.

A/n: this fic is part of @smfics ‘s reader’s in charge collab, so thanks to Sandra for the opportunity. It’s a super late entry (and it could have definitely been better) cause I’ve been on hiatus for a while, but I hope you’ll still enjoy it nonetheless. I don’t post fics longer than 3k on tumblr anymore, but this one was an exception precisely because it was supposed to be part of a collab. Also, it’s supposed to be funny so don’t take this seriously. If you’d like to read more of my works, here’s my ao3 account. If you decide to follow my blog, please make sure to read my rules before interacting. Reblogs are appreciated. I’m sorry for any possible mistake, I just wanted to post something for Eren’s birthday, enjoy <3

Eren doesn’t like meeting new people, you’ve been sure of it since the day you tried to introduce him to your friends, in a pointless attempt at getting rid of his loner status around the campus. He’s been your best friend since middle school, and honestly you still fail to fathom how on earth you’ve been able to make your way in his life, although unannounced. To this day, not even Eren’s capable of understanding what went differently with you, but he doesn’t mind your company at all.

You’re his opposite, having a completely contrary personality: you love going out, whereas he’d be happy if he had the opportunity to spend the rest of his days inside his house; you enjoy the company of people you’ve never seen, your ability to adapt to every situation almost enthralls him. Deep down, you’re aware the reason Eren can’t seem to be at least a little more open it’s because he’s bored. Extremely so.

He will probably never admit it, the last thing he wants is for others to think he deems himself as some sort of God who’s above everything and everyone, but nothing could explain the sensation he feels when he’s around a group of people or partaking in the activities students his age enjoy, if not boredom. He doesn’t even know what to call it, but you do. Despite this awareness, you’d never think of Eren as a superficial person or someone who believes everybody else isn’t worthy of his time, that’s precisely the reason he can’t be considered shallow, unlike a lot of the people you usually spend hours with.

Eren has a lot of high morals, which might be underestimated as well as misunderstood by others. Perhaps, you consider, that might have been what made you fall for him in the first place, instead of the guy who has a bunch of other girls’ number in his phone, but will excuse it by claiming that “it’s what happens when people like you”. You guess it could be true somehow —according to the twisted logic of modern society — but you prefer Eren’s loneliness tenfold.

And anyway, he’s not lonely. He has you.

You still have to meet a person who values loyalty and goodness as much as he does, and despite the fact he’s also frighteningly fixated on what’s good and what’s bad, and extremely determined once his mind’s focused on something, it’s impossible for you to count these as actual flaws. Not to mention, it’s only fair considering the fact that he’s actually able to put up with your attitude constantly, and you can be..a lot, sometimes, but Eren has never complained about it. Maybe it’s because he likes you, you’re sure that must be one of the reasons, but it can’t be the only one, right?

You’re not aware of the fact he has a crush on you because he told you —he would never— but his eyes and the way his cheeks tinge with red whenever you do just as much as touch him or be particularly affectionate, prompt you that there’s something more going on. Obviously, it’s not like he doesn’t know about your feelings, you’ve made it clear plenty of times in fact, but you believe Eren’s the type to ignore it to avoid a possible heartbreak, or the chance you might just be making fun of him.

Why would you want to be with him, when you have a lot of other guys —much hotter than he is— wrapped around your little finger? It would be stupid of you to even consider him as an option in the first place, so he takes your advances as nothing more than a joke. Just you being playful like usual, and it might be because he’s not experienced with girls and the mere thought of you being actually interested in him freaks him out, but he somehow convinced himself that the one in his head is the truth.

Eren is a good looking guy, which means girls actually find him attractive and some even tried to approach him at times (when you weren’t around, or they thought you weren’t around) which also ultimately leads you to believe you can trust your judgement when it tells you that’s just another proof of his hidden crush on you, because why would he —a nineteen years old boy in College, with a very much functioning penis and the brain of a guy— reject every single person equipped with a pair of titties and a vagina that shows even the slightest amount of interest in his regard, when you know he likes girls?

Of course he could be concealing his actual sexual orientation and perhaps you’ve got it wrong this entire time, but you talked with Eren about your reciprocate preferences regarding porn on multiple occasions, and he would have no reason to lie in the first place, for he’s aware you would accept him no matter what. He could be asexual, but we’re talking about the guy who had an erection watching you wearing a bikini for the first time in sophomore year, and although you may be ignorant about this particular subject (you definitely are), it just doesn’t seem a good option.

Additionally, he’s admitted —albeit begrudgingly— to fantasizing about certain situations (not that you know whether they include you, but the point remains).

Ultimately, you’ve decided to take the matter in your hands to prove your hypothesis to be correct, which is why you’re now knocking on the front door of your best friend’s house, with a small bag of clothes —tremendously short dresses, to be precise— you’ll have to put to test. Clearly, Eren will play the role of the examiner. You’re surprisingly nervous, but you suppose that’s what naturally happens when you have feelings for someone, and undoubtedly, he’s always been the only one capable of fazing you.

“Coming!” you hear him shouting, evidently running down the stairs.

It’s Sunday, so you know with certainty that his parents won’t be home until late evening, considering their —sweet, you must admit— habit of saving the last day of the week for themselves.

Your visit comes off as a surprise to Eren, who quirks his brows in confusion once he’s opened the door. He thinks about questioning your presence for a bunch of seconds, but the smile tugging on your lips and the way you tilt your head at him as you wait to be welcome inside make him reconsider his intentions.

“Hey,” he greets you, gesturing to you to step forward, “I wasn’t expecting you.”

Leaving your shoes at the entrance, you follow him to his room after he’s closed the door behind your back.

Truth be told, you could have definitely sent a quick text to inform him of your decision to spend the afternoon together, but there’s enough intimacy between you to show up to his house unannounced, and you will never refrain from taking advantage of the surprise effect.

Shrugging your shoulders, you reply, “I need your help with something, and I didn’t really want to hang out with the others. I like you more.”

God, he’s glad you can’t see his face right now, because his cheeks are burning and he’s pretty sure that whatever he was going to say has withered in his throat automatically.

Instead of answering, he nods briefly and invites you into the room you’re more than familiar with, having spent so much of your time just eating snacks on his bed and watching shows that he didn’t even like for the most part. Not that you cared, for your mere purpose had always been that of getting closer to him.

“So, uhm..what do you need my help for?” he sits down at the edge of the mattress, palms spread at his sides as he looks at you.

His eyes skim quickly over your outfit —not imperceptibly— drinking in the sight of the short black skirt and your bare thighs, then the way the white blouse you’re wearing gently caresses your collarbones, the first few bottoms left open to expose your cleavage. It’s astonishing, how you’re capable of enhancing such a blank outfit. Honestly, Eren believes you’d look gorgeous even in his worst clothes.

“I’m going out with a boy tonight.” you affirm, and the brunet’s stomach immediately twists painfully at the mention of your date. He has so many questions, but he refuses to let his jealousy get the best of him. “I bought some dresses, I’m gonna try them out and you’ll tell me which one you like more, okay?”

You struggle to keep a serious face when Eren’s blinking slowly in confusion —or incredulity— after your announcement, brows slightly furrowed as he gulps down, Adam's apple visibly bobbing in his throat at the gesture. Is the thought of you wearing skimpy dresses in front of him, or the awareness that you’re putting so much effort into your look to go out with a boy he doesn’t even know the name of to spur a similar reaction? Whichever might be the option, you dare yourself not to ask. For now, that is.

“I— are you sure?” he manages to burble out, hesitation dripping from his tone, “I don’t...want to disrespect you or something.”

You chuckle, an amused smile breaking on your face, “You’re not going to see me naked ‘Ren, I just wanna know which dress you prefer.”

Right, he’s most definitely not going to see you naked, but what about this guy? Shamefully taking a hold of his own thoughts regarding the situation, he limits himself to a simple, court nod at your proposal, trying to enjoy at least the time he gets to spend with you.

“Okay then, I’ll go put on the first one. I’ll be back in a minute.” you state, walking out of his room to reach the bathroom.

Needless to say, the portion of time in your absence that you gift to him is nothing but pure torture, his mind raging with so many thoughts he’s afraid it might either explode or cause him a heart attack in the long run. Afflicted by doubts, he succumbs to his insecure nature and the obstinate conscience of his own..inappropriateness, when it comes to you.

It’s painfully obvious that someone like him could never —not in a million years, not in a different reality— be enough for someone like you, for he doesn’t even come close to having the qualities he deems your partner should own. Eren, with this very same awareness, fails to believe you’d actually want him by your side, no matter how many times you’ve told him, no matter if you mean it thoroughly.

Whether it’s because of his sense of inferiority, or the extremely flattering adjectives that he bestows to you and the consequent high position you own in his personal scale of people he deems overall good, Eren can’t accept the sole idea that you might truly want to be with him.

To avoid the sweat from starting to drip down his temples from how hard he’s thinking, he leaves the comfort of the mattress to wander around his room and unleash some anxiety. He’s absurdly and ridiculously nervous, but most of all, annoyed by the way he seems to continuously contradict himself, because truth be told, Eren doesn’t want you to go out with someone else.

Luckily —or unfortunately— his thoughts are suddenly interrupted by your return, while he’s busy fiddling with the cover of a book resting over his desk. Your steps are subtle thanks to the lack of shoes, but he still catches on the faint sound of your feet coming in contact with the wooden surface of the parquet.

When he turns his head around, his heart skips a beat —maybe more— at the sight. A black, tight and short sheath dress embraces your curves perfectly, the satin fabric shining under the yellowish light of his room, casting a soft reflection over the piece of clothing. The straps are thin on your shoulders, barely even noticeable, and definitely not a source of distraction. A soft heart-shaped neckline invokes the attention to your breast, and your collarbones almost look like an invitation.

Eren hardly manages to gather enough air in his lungs to breathe as you await for his valuable opinion.

“So? What do you think?” you impatiently probe, raising your brows at his absent expression, “Do you want me to turn around?”

He doesn’t answer, a reaction that leaves you slightly startled and makes your confidence falter.

“Who’s the guy?” he asks abruptly, catching you off guard.

“Huh?”

“Who’s the guy you’re going out with?” he repeats, voice firm and tone steady.

You shrug, “Oh, it’s just Jean.”

You discern it clearly, the hint of disgust and annoyance painted on his features. Truthfully, he doesn’t even try to conceal it, too busy reveling in the unpleasant sensation that’s flooding through his body at your reply.

Jean Kirstein is attractive, popular, charming, outgoing. He’s everything Eren isn’t, but he’s also a jerk when it comes to dealing with girls, and his well-known crush on Mikasa makes his attempts at replacing her with someone else painfully obvious.

“You’re wasting your time with him, don’t go.” he utters confidently, the scowl on his face enhancing his seriousness.

“It’s nothing serious, we’re probably just going to fuck and never hang out again.” you chortle lightly, but he remains unfazed.

What people tend to overlook about Eren, is that although he might not look like the type to actually pay attention to what you’re saying most of the time, he seizes everything in his memory and notices every single little detail, especially when it concerns you, so it goes without saying that he recalls perfectly every occasion in which a guy like Jean has asked you to go out with them. It’s also no wonder that he’s used to the idea of you having sex with someone else, but witnessing you actually trying to impress a guy —a behavior that doesn’t belong to you in the slightest— and being aware that Jean is the one who’s going to have the honor of seeing you like this make the blood seeping through his veins boil.

“He likes Mikasa, he’s just using you.”

“I know, I don’t care.” with no trace of bother in your tone, you continue, “Why do you care so much?”

You take a step forward, the genuinely curious expression you’re wearing being a sign of your hidden amusement.

He wavers, but eventually answers. “You deserve someone better, that’s it.”

Decisive and menacing, you close off the inches separating you from him entirely with a bunch of slow steps, his breath getting stuck in his throat at the proximity.

“Someone better you said?” you tilt your head to the side, captivating eyes boring into his green ones, “Like who?”

With your sweet scent filling his nostrils and the way your hand shoots up to rest on his chest, thinking about something reasonable to say seems impossible, and Eren lacks the bravery to reply as you’d like him to.

“I—” he averts his gaze multiple times, attempting to reduce the tension unsuccessfully, “I don’t know. Just not him.” he finally mumbles, a deep scowl on his face. “Or anyone like him.”

With a snort of amusement, rather than mockery as he always assumes, you fix the collar of his shirt absentmindedly.

“You know, Eren, I’d wear a thousand dresses much better than this one for you.” you speak softly, with every intention of bewitching him, “You like me, don’t you? Why won’t you give me a chance? I wouldn’t even spare the others a glance if I had the opportunity to be with you.”

Eren’s heart is hammering so hard in his chest, that the fear of you feeling it underneath the pads of your fingers makes him tenfold more nervous. He’s tired —exhausted, really— of ignoring his feelings for you in name of his profound insecurity, and being selfish as he innately is, he finally yields to his desire.

“I’m not on your level but I..I could treat you better than they can.” he breathes out, mustering the courage to look at you, “I like you, I don’t want you to go out with him.”

Your gaze is gentle as your fingers caress his jaw, a satisfied smile emerging on your face. The humble, often too modest nature of Eren and his pure kindness are precisely what made you fall for him in the first place, hard and unexpectedly, but you could never regret it.

“Well then, will you let me show you how good I can treat you?” you cajole on his lips, as he draws in a sharp intake of breath at your boldness.

He might be a virgin, but he’s not stupid.

“Are— are you sure?”

You scoff, “Absolutely.”

Then your lips are on his, confident and craved for, so much so that Eren fears his knees might give up on him all of a sudden, if he doesn’t control the adrenaline swelling in his chest as your fingers run over his undercut. He tastes just as you expected, minty and fresh and simultaneously oh so very sweet. Your tongue darts out, asking for permission to enter his mouth as you push him towards the bed once again, forcing him to sit on it and giving you the possibility to straddle his lap. Tentatively, he places his palms on your waist to bring you closer, eager for more, but still considerate in his gestures.

There’s reluctance in his touch, but a desperate need to discover you at the same time. His best friend, the woman he’s wanted for so long. He almost struggles to believe any of this is actually real and not just a mere fragment of his foolish imagination.

There’s electricity rushing through your body at the airy whimper he lets out when you rub slowly against his growing bulge, your lips moving from his mouth to his jaw, down to the base of his throat —where you take your time to leave a pretty colored mark, sucking and nibbling at his skin.

“‘Ren, I really wanna suck you off.” you whisper in his ear a moment after, teeth tugging on his lobe as his movements stall. “Can I?”

He feels ecstatic, unable to say no to you, “Yes please.”

Doing your best to hide your impatience, you get down from his lap and immediately make your way to his wardrobe, hands reaching for the second drawer at the bottom with a known familiarity, pulling out one of his belts. The baffled expression that welcomes you back isn’t unexpected in the slightest, but you find no resistance to fight back your actions as you climb into the bed behind him to immobilize his wrists, before settling between his spread legs, bare knees pressed against the floor.

“Why did you tie me up?” he asks, so innocently that your cunt almost throbs in response.

“Because I wanna play with you a little.” you affirm, unzipping his pants and freeing his cock from the painful restrictions that his boxer briefs constituted.

It sits pretty and heavily in your hand, the tip already leaking pre-cum as you wrap your fingers around it, teasingly rubbing your pad over the slit. He jolts, taken aback by the sudden sensation and overwhelmed by the sight of you sitting between his thighs, his dick in your hand as you slowly start to move it up and down. It feels nice, touching him, but tasting him feels even better once you shamelessly lay your tongue flat against his shaft, licking from the base down to the head.

“Ah fuck—” he groans in surprise, abs flexing as you focus on twirling your tongue around the sensitive tip.

However, before he’s capable of actively beginning to complain, you engulf his length almost entirely, bobbing your head up and down with no rush whatsoever. The few times you give him rest once you’ve started your ministrations and picked up a steady pace, it’s solely to spit on his cock and make a mess out of it, eyes shamelessly requiring attention as you gaze up at him and hollow your cheeks around his girth. You stimulate with your hand what you can’t reach, concentrating on his balls as well.

Your lips are swollen, his abs are flexing underneath his shirt, but you never get to the point of gagging or deep throating. Willing to savor every second, you decide to not allow him to finish in your mouth.

“God, it feels so fucking good..” he moans, “I think— I think ‘m gonna cum.”

Just like that, the bliss brought by your mouth it’s gone in less than a second, leaving him high and dry, chest heaving with frustration and breath hitching as he glares at you.

“I’m sorry ‘Ren, I can’t let you cum just yet.” you feign an apologetic pout, but the way your hand starts moving up and down again, just to stop every time his whimpers and delightful moans grow louder, contradicts your faux compassion for his terrible ache.

Whenever he’s on the edge, you take away his pleasure viciously and mercilessly with the nonchalance of someone who knows exactly what they’re doing, someone who enjoys it, even. He sees it in your eyes, the way they sparkle with each feeble, pathetic little whine you’re able to elicit from his pretty parted lips as his legs tremble and his chest heaves.

“I need to cum— shit , just let me fucking cum.” he begs, the throaty plea sounding like music to your ears.

“Oh, you’re such a desperate little baby, aren’t you?” you coo, palm rubbing against the tip as he closes his eyes and whimpers at your cruelty, “Ask nicely and I’ll give you what you want, maybe even more.”

Admittedly, a release is something you’re looking forward to yourself, considering the way your slick is smearing your panties and your clit is painfully throbbing against the fabric, creating a rather discomforting fraction.

Eren, much to your relief, sighs in surrender and exhaustion, “Please, please let me cum. I need it so bad.”

With a smile on your face you stand up immediately, hands reaching for your underwear underneath your dress to slide it off your legs in a swift motion, before raising the hem of the black piece of clothing and climbing on top of his lap once again, grabbing his still fully erected cock in your hand and aligning it with your dripping entrance. Lowering yourself above him, you both let out a satisfied gasp as your walls suck him inside and clung to his length as though willing to keep it in their warm embrace forever.

Eren is so fucked out that he can’t even thoroughly fathom the fact that you’re taking his virginity and marking him with your mouth while bouncing on his cock, the only thing he knows is that his fingers are twitching with the necessity to touch you. To feel you.

“You’ve been such a good boy, you deserve this.” you praise, running your fingers through his short hair as your lips hover over his and you keep up the pace of your movements, “How does it feel, hm?”

“Amazing.” he huffs, forehead resting against yours as he basks in the sensation of your hole clenching around his length the more you go on. You smell good, you taste good, you look even better. “You feel amazing.”

You smile tenderly, rotating your hips frantically, eager to finally bring him to his peak. You know he’s close, you can easily discern the way his veins pulsate against your walls.

“Cum inside me ‘Ren, c’mon. Give it all to me.”

Perhaps it’s the fact that he’s no longer lucid, or the fact that you’re the one purring the words on his mouth right before swallowing his moans with a kiss, but Eren reaches his orgasm immediately at your invitation —followed by you right after—his warm release filling you up as you lazily guide him through his high.

His breath his short as he observes you silently, your hands getting rid of the belt blocking his wrists behind his back before you can lift your hips just enough for him to pull out. Wearily, but unquestionably satisfied, Eren eventually brings his hand to your cheek, stroking it with his thumb affectionately. His touch lingers on your face for a while, enough for you to lean in it, relishing the fondness of the gesture.

Kissing his palm, you finally utter, “Mine.”

SAKURASHELL © 2021. All content belongs to SAKURASHELL. Do not copy, modify, or repost my work. Do not share any of my content on another platform without permission.

[simpforhoon]

poly! sungseung/heehoon *ೃ༄

Pairing: sunghoon x reader x heeseung

Genre: fluff in the first part, smut below the cut

please note, this work is purely that of fiction. and not meant to represent what the enhypen members are like in real life.

Warnings: smut.

OKAYYY WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN??

these two together, absolute brainrot.

it's like a relationship of three of some of the most beautiful people ever!?!?!

the visuals YALL would have ugh, it makes me go feral.

anyways so like, CONGRATS!!! you're officially dating two big (they're literal giants) babies!

they would want your attention, like 24/7, whether it's like face timing or texting or cuddling, they want it.

let's say that heeseung and sunghoon kinda crushed on each other for a while before you came into the picture!

and then boom! the courage in took for both of them to confess to you is what helped them realise they liked each other as well! and then yall lived happily ever after! this is not the end.

sunghoon and heeseung cant cook anything but ramen, which makes you the official cook of the trio!

dates where you guys laze around and do absolutely nothing are very common!

its almost like,,,,you would let sunghoon lay his head on your lap and have heeseung near your feet as he plays video games, running your hands through their hair cause they deserve to be pampered :(

heeseung would love taking care of both of you, even if you're older than him cause in his eyes you're both his babies🥺

this involves making sure you're both snuggled up to his side before bed, giving you and sunghoon lots of forehead kisses and lots of hugs and praise!

sunghoon shows his affection through simple things like hand holding, kisses on the cheek and remembering little things about yall

they would always show up at your apartment randomly, the two of them cuddling on the couch before you even come home, and then pulling you into the cuddle pile, making it a mess of multiple limbs.

overall, they're two clingy babies so give them lots of affection!

both of them are pretty possessive, so they would glare down anyone who stares at you before smiling at you and complimenting you on how pretty you look that day!

they would give you their hoodies cause they love seeing how small you look in them

or if youre bigger than them, you could give them your hoodies cause they would love to wear them!

if you're even a cm shorter, be prepared to be babied and teased for the rest of your life cause they will never let it go.

it also means more piggyback rides for you! and lots and lots of forehead kisses!

nsfw from here!

both switches, I think with a major dom lean.

heeseung leans more towards soft dom while sunghoon can be a hard dom.

I think the hierarchy would kinda be like this

dom - heeseung > sunghoon > you -sub

or yk, they would let you dom them if you really plead with them

heeseung would love taking care of both of you even in bed cause he loves yall so much, he would order sunghoon around a bit, and make sure you dont get bratty.

sunghoon would tease the HECK out of you, always edging you or overstimulating you, making you ride his or heeseung's thighs, smirking at you when he sees you staring at his fingers for a long time

both of them would teach you the choreographies to sensual songs (heeseung esp) cause they want you to dance to it with them.

sunghoon wound just walk around your apartment shirtless just to make yall horny, (everyone says he has one of the best bodies in enha!)

they would be kinda kinky, but not super kinky yk

def into minor bondage and blindfolding and name calling, edging, overstimulation, thigh riding, etc.

sunghoon would love mirror sex and heeseung would love shower and bathtub sex for sure!

they would send you sweaty mirror selcas after practice just to make you needy

sunghoon would enjoy calling you doll. whereas heeseung would be into baby, or princess/ prince

"you look so pretty like this doll, such a slut for us hm?" sunghoon asked as he looked up from between your legs, your juices and his spit dripping down his chin, almost making you cum on the spot at how positively filthy he looked at that moment. smirking at the fucked out expression on your face, he was ready to dive right back in when heeseung's voice rang throughout the room. "stop teasing babyboy, or you know what'll happen don't you?" heeseung said, walking into the room with a belt in his hands, making your eyes go wide. "oh yes princess, we bought this just for you. don't you wanna be good for daddy and sir? hmmm? then sit still and look pretty while we tie you up".

total brainrot.

anyways I'm done, this was a mess.

hope you liked it!

[markresonates]

long overdue

summary: Jeno has had a crush on you since you were little kids. When he leads you to his back office and tries to explain what’s wrong with your car, somehow you manage to end up in his lap

pairing: mechanic!Jeno x fem!reader

genre: smut, lil fluff, lil angst

trope: childhood friends to lovers

word count:  1.9k

disclaimer: I know nearly nothing about fixing cars except that a creeper is the skateboard thingie that goes underneath them...

warning: thigh riding, on camera, degradation, little spanking, semi public, mentions of masturbation, dom!Jeno, sub!reader

Jeno is being selfish. 

Actually, is there a word that means more than selfish? Self-interested? No, that doesn’t sound right. Self-serving? Still doesn’t carry enough weight. 

“Jeno! Is my car finally finished today?”

Just to be clear, this is the very car that was repaired four days ago. The car that you’ve already come back to check on twice. He took it upon himself to work on your car personally. Why would the owner of the auto repair shop choose to take on a job that was such an easy fix? Simple. You. 

His first heartbreak was at age 10 on the day you moved away. Jeno cannot put into words how overwhelmingly happy he felt when he heard you were moving back to attend the nearby university. The complication was lack of time to catch up on both his part and yours. All he wants, more than anything in the world, is more time with you.  So he devised a plan: being the mechanic to handle the issue with your motor graces him more time, and the longer it takes to fix your motor, the more times you come back to see him.

See? Beyond selfish. 

“Oh, hey! Uh, not just yet, but almost!” Jeno exclaims. He quickly scrambles to the floor, resting his back on the creeper, and rolling underneath your car, pretending as if he’s been hard at work the entire time. Even though he knows you just saw him standing right side up, lecturing the rookie mechanic, Jisung, about the proper methodology of tire rotation.

Any audibility is stifled by the shrill clangor of drills reverberating through the auto repair shop. It doesn’t help that you are covering your ears though, a sad excuse for a barrier between your eardrums and the sharp screech of car repair. You are forced to tiptoe around the puddles of mysterious fluid and large, lifeless machinery to get within earshot of the mechanic. 

“Did you hear what I said? I was asking about when my car is going to be fixed.” You approach Jisung, returning a shy, little wave back to the lanky worker frozen in place.

He does a double take between you and the pair of legs sticking out beneath the vehicle with a puzzled expression. “Wait, you mean this car? Jeno, I thought this car was fin- Ow!”

“That’ll be all, Jisung. Goodnight,” Jeno hisses as he shoots out from below, connecting the heel of his boot with the younger worker's shin. “Take Chenle with you on your way out.”

The whirling of power tools ceases, revealing an uncontrollable cackling from an onlooker previously hidden by the piercing noise. Jeno sits up and you both watch them closely on their way out the door. You can still make out the loud, distinctive laughter in the parking lot.

Your eyes meet Jeno’s. Your stare is indecipherable, whereas he’s a deer caught in the headlights. His eyes are so dreamy and captivating, not that you’d ever tell him, though. Old friends don’t just give each other compliments like that. It’s awkward enough trying to pretend your giant crush didn’t dissipate over the years you have been separated. 

You can tell he senses some sort of tense attraction clouding the air whenever you visit the shop, hence your hesitance to spend extra time around him since you have returned. You are a bit frightened by the idea of acting on impulse and making a move. 

If he truly wanted you, he would make the first move. Wouldn’t he?

You offer him your hand to help him to his feet, failing to notice what you assume to be motor oil coating his palm. You grimace as the slimy liquid makes contact with your skin. Jeno’s heart falls seeing your face scrunch up while holding his hand. 

He’s been thinking about holding your hand lately; walking hand in hand as you go on dates to dinner, to the beach, to the movies, to the other places that make you the happiest. That’s all he wants you to be. Happy. It would be a dream come true if he could make you feel happy. Maybe he could make you feel some other things.

He feels guilty for imagining those kinds of things about you before bed. And now, on top of the guilt for lying about your car, he feels guilty for imagining every single way (and position) that he could make you feel happy.

“Do you have a towel or something?” you ask looking down to your hand then back to him. 

“Towel! Right! I’m sorry, yeah. There’s one in my office.”

You follow Jeno through the empty garage and into the messy back office. There isn’t a single surface that is not covered in clutter or moving boxes. He hands you a container of wet wipes, noticing you surveying the disastrous state of the room.

“You know how I told you my dad is retiring early and I have to take over the shop? This is all of his stuff he’s packed - or failed to pack,” he grumbles.

“Well… do you want to do it?”

“Want to do what? Pack?”

“Pa-what? No! I meant do you want to take over,” you giggle, giving his shoulder a playful nudge. His stoic expression falls, cracking a smile from hearing your cute laugh. 

“Um, no. Not exactly, for a bunch of reasons. Mostly I don’t feel ready for all the responsibility. I’m better at the fixing cars part, not the managing the people who fix the cars part, you know?”

He tries shifting some boxes around but ultimately abandons the impromptu clean up when a tower crashes to the ground. “I’m sorry, I don’t know where you’re supposed to sit.” 

He sits in the cutter-free swivel chair behind the desk. But not before you notice the tent pitched in his crotch. 

That’s it. Fuck the sexist belief that Jeno should be the one to make the first move.

“Hmm well if you’re so good at the fixing cars part, why isn’t my car fixed then?” 

You lightly drag your fingertips along the desk in his direction. Your fingers leave the desk, moving to the top of the chair and spinning him towards you.

“So… listen it’s complicated, but just hear me out. I-”

His voice fades as you carefully climb on the chair to straddle him. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“...l-like I was saying, uh, the thing is-” 

“Yeah?” You roll your hips over his half hard erection, earning a low groan from Jeno. “Do you like it when I do that, Jeno?”

He bobs his head, closing his eyes for a moment before smacking the palms of his hands down on your ass. “I fucking love it, y/n.” 

He takes control of your motions, directing your hips to grind on him with a stern grip. Your mouths connect in a long awaited, passionate kiss. It is obvious to Jeno that there is a rumbling hunger in your stomach, and he is more than happy to indulge you. He slips his tongue into your mouth and slaps his hands on your ass again. Repeating the harsh motion a third time rips a sequel from your lips. 

“Wait, there's something I need to mention. There is a security camera set up here in this office. I'm the only one who reviews it though. Do you want me to turn it off?” 

You nibble on your bottom lip and flutter your eyes sweetly. “I kind of want you to leave it on. Honestly, Jeno, it turns me on knowing you'll see this later."

“You like that you’re being recorded, huh?” He nips at your neck as you nod. “Never thought you’d be such a slut, y/n.” 

His words extract a needy moan from you as your body buzzes and you feel your core tingling. He tugs at the hem of your blouse. You raise your arms over your head to make his job of getting you naked easier.

“I feel like I’ve waited so long to hear those pretty noises, baby,” he mumbles against your neck. “Take off your pants.”

You lift yourself off his lap and peel your jeans off your legs. He doesn’t ask you to do so but you unclasp your bra and toss it on the tile floor anyways. 

“My little cockwhore wants to be fucked, right?” His thumbs loop around your panties and sweep them to the ground. Jeno's fingers slip into your folds the second they make contact with your ankles. “Just like I thought, so fucking wet.”

He pulls you forward suddenly. You yelp when your dripping slit makes contact with the jean material on his knee.

“I’ll fill you with my cock tomorrow, but right now, I want to see you fuck yourself on my thigh. Then when I rewind the security tape, I can watch you make yourself cum anytime I want. How does that sound, babe?”

You give no verbal response, showing him you agree by grinding up his leg already. Jeno scoffs at your impatience. “You couldn’t wait to get yourself off, huh? I mean, just look at you, a dirty slut so desperate to cum.”

“B-but I wanted you to make me,” you whine, securing your hands around the base of his thigh and dawning your most convincing puppy eyes. 

“Make you what?” he taunts, tilting your chin up to meet his intimidating gaze. 

“I wanted y-you to make me come...please.” Your voice is small and timid. He latches his hands to your waist and rolls your hips over his thigh.

“Fine, slut. I’ll help you out, but only because you asked nicely and I've been waiting forever to get you like this.” 

The friction is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Thrilling stimulation milks strangled cries from you which only grow louder as time passes. Your hands cling to his leg with an iron grip, losing yourself in the bliss.

"It’s a good thing no one is here. Or would that turn you on more?"

The knots forming within you are somehow tied even tighter at the thought of perhaps getting caught. You throw your head back as the pressure builds in your core. “You’re close, hmm?”

“Y-yeah, I’m real, real clo-,” you sob, squeezing your eyes shut as the euphoric wave of pleasure hits you, bringing a warmth to radiate through your body.

“Fuck, I love that I can make you feel so good,” Jeno mumbles, reveling in the glorious sight of seeing you tremble on his thigh. He pulls you to his chest and hugs you tightly, unexpectedly. It’s nice to be in his protected embrace but after a few minutes, your skin prickles from the chilly air you didn’t notice in the heated moment.

“Jeno… can I put my clothes on?”

He tilts your body forward with a knowing look. “I know I said tomorrow, but I don’t think I can wait another minute without stuffing you full of my cock, y/n. What do you say?” He arches one eyebrow up, questionably. 

You smile at his proposal. “You read my mind.”

"Aw, that's my pretty, little slut."

i apologize that the ending is a bit rushed ? i got wrapped up in a different project. but something exciting is otw in next month!

➾my masterlist

© 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

[bibbykins]

Vulnerable in The Dead of Night (M)

I wrote this QUICK, so if it’s bad, I’m so sorry, but I just wanted to get this out ASAP, so I hope you like it! Also, pls feel free to give me your thoughts or ask any questions, I love to answer them!

NOTE: This is part of The Household’s Bunny series, which I recommend you read before this bc otherwise, it may not make sense.

Summary: Taehyung finds himself consumed with self-loathing and crushing loneliness. You find Taehyung standing alone in the kitchen late at night, happy to see him again for the first time in weeks. The usually playful and flirty man is left with his feelings when faced with you in the dead of night.

Genre: Soft Yandere! Taehyung x Chubby! Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: 18+, soft yandere tendencies, obsessive/possessive thoughts, crying, loneliness, self-loathing, abandonment issue, adopted person feeling unworthy of love, kissing, hickeys, cunnilingus, precum, blowjob, swallowing, dom/sub dynamics, dirty talk, this is a yandere fic so unhealthy relationships are throughout this series

Taehyung felt like he was losing his mind, and maybe he was. What could he be doing wrong? How can you not know how he feels? How can Jimin get his point across better than him? 

Do you not like him?

His pacing in the kitchen ceased at this thought. 

No.

Surely, no. You liked him, right? You told him you did.

Although, that was before he and Namjoon had basically disappeared from your life these last two weeks. Is he that replaceable? 

The nagging insecurity of his childhood crept up. Flashes of tears, isolation, and craving for love tugged at his mind. He shook his head. He wasn't a 6 year old watching his father leave him. He wasn't a 14 year old in a foster home. He just wasn't that 17 year old in a new home, trying to adapt. That wasn't him anymore. Taehyung was loved now, by many. So why not by you? 

He blew out a shaky breath before finishing his glass of room temperature water. He was still dressed in his suit, having just gotten home from the final session of the blasted weeks-long project that kept him from you. His tie was more suffocating than ever but could not find a reason he deserved to undo it.

Too enraptured in his own thoughts, he didn't hear the soft pad of slippers downstairs or the tiny pants of regaining your breath from the nine flights you just went down in the dead of night, "Tae?" Your breathy voice sliced through the chaos in his mind and he let out a breathy chuckle, thinking he was going insane, hallucinating your voice.

Truly, he felt useless. He felt sub-human. He felt every piece of shit adult who turned his back on him must be justified if this was the best he could do. If a smokescreen of lovability with no love was his peak. If being alone with only hallucinations was the closest he could get to companionship-

He nearly choked on his water when he felt arms wrap tightly around his midsection, "Tae, you're home!" Your voice cleared the cloud of self-loathing and he looked down to see your half manicured nails, most of the polish chipped off. He slowly placed his hands on yours and was relieved to find you weren't a hallucination, "I missed you." He could feel your mouth moving against his suit jacket as you squeezed him a bit harder.

He let his eyes close as he relished in the feeling of you nuzzling into him, missing him. 

Worried when he said nothing, you moved to detach yourself but he held your hands firmly, "Tae?" You questioned only for him to hum lightly.

"I missed you so much, little lamb." His voice was soft, the softest you'd ever heard it as his thumb stroked your palm, "I didn't know you missed me." His voice held a fondness you had never heard from him before. Usually, his tone was light and playful but now, he was almost melancholic.

Did he genuinely feel that way? The panic of one of the men you found yourself falling for each day thinking you didn't like him as much as you did take over and you moved for you both to face each other. Tae merely blinked before you were in front of him, hands holding his face, not searching in his eyes but looking to express something with yours, "Of course I missed you." You pouted, "You all mean the world to me." 

He searched for any sign of a lie. He'd seen it time and time again from people in the entertainment industry, but with you, it was nothing but pure honesty, "Little lamb." He commanded your attention even though he already had it as you let your hands settle on each of his shoulders, "You mean that?" 

"I would never lie to you." You didn't miss a beat before looking at him further, realizing he is not acting like he usually does, "Are you okay?" You asked lightly, eyes traveling over his form, hands working to undo his tie as you've done before when he asked you to help him, "Oh gosh, that must feel so suffocating this late at night." You mumbled and undid two of his top buttons. He grabbed your hands as you worked at the second button, making you look up.

"Do you wanna know how I feel, baby?" He asked, eyes a little darker now as he drank in your form, wearing a mere long shirt that reached the middle of your thighs with no shorts in sight. You nodded and his grip on you tightened but wasn't painful, "Jealous." He rasped and you looked up, confused, "Jealous that you don't cum for me or crave me like you do everyone else." His voice was strained despite neglecting Namjoon's own lack of experience with you.

You blinked, "I mean if you want sex, that's okay." He let go of your hands, one of his hands moving to grip your hip as the other cupped your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb, "But you know that sex is just that, I mean, I like closeness and it makes me feel good, so I do it. But I also know that being sexually attracted to me doesn't mean you want me as your partner- oh!" He cut you off by pressing you roughly against the wall, his hand now cradling the back of your head to prevent you from getting hurt.

His gaze burned into you and you averted your eyes but the hand behind your head went to grip your chin, forcing your gaze to meet his own, and what a fierce gaze it was, "Who made you think that?" He snapped and continued when you struggled to respond, "Who convinced you that you're not just as worthy of pleasure as you are intimacy? Love? Companionship?" 

You were dumbstruck. Part of you wanted to ask how long he had because you had a list. You remembered every person who made you feel that way whereas they surely forgot you moments after you either did or didn't succumb to their desires. Instead, your eyes began to water, "Why are you…?" You forced out, blinking back your tears, "I don't...I don't understand." You shook your head.

"I don't want to fuck you so bad just because you're the sexiest woman I've ever seen." Your breath hitched and your mind couldn't properly process his words, "I crave you." He breathed, leaning down, "I've been agonizing over how to come to terms with the fact that I feel so fucking strongly for someone who has no obligation to feel the same." Before you could even respond, he placed his mouth on yours in a bruising kiss.

You responded immediately, trying your best to convey your feelings in this sloppy kiss, tongues intertwined as you needily moaned when his hand wrapped your leg around him, but he didn't grind into you, he just pulled your closer. The kissing lessened in urgency and increased in passion as he gripped you with a near bruising force, "Tae…" You groaned into his mouth and found yourself nearly crying. You held him closer and he squeezed you to him.

"Yes, baby?" He moved to kiss lightly at the corner of your mouth, mouth moving to. kiss at your tears. He didn't need to ask you why you were crying. He knew. He felt it too. He felt the relief that came with being held close, being kissed, and is wanted as much as another wants you.

"Do you mean it?" You asked, crying more now, "You…"

"I feel so strongly for you." He affirmed and you shook your head, having a hard time believing him, "And that's so frightening because you could just leave and I..." He breathed shakily, head tucked into your neck, "I don't know how everyone else is holding it together when I know they feel the same-"

"I do too." You had to say it before you wouldn't, "All of you, I do." You sniffled, "But I can't find a reason why you guys would feel anything for me too." Your voice was breaking and he just crushed you to him further, "And I don't know if they feel that way, and-" You cried further, "I-I need to go to bed, I need to-" You tried to pull away from his crushing embrace to no avail. 

You whined a bit at this. Your mind was scattered, and you didn't know what to do. There was so much going on yet nothing going on at all. You received a confession and so did he and yet, everything felt so complicated. The doubt of anyone wanting to be with you strangled your very being and made you want to stay in your room and never think about it again. Live alone in mediocrity and loneliness.

"Promise me you're not scared." His words were demanding but his tone was pleading, "I...I know it's a lot and I know I never act like this, but just, don't avoid it, don't avoid me." He sniffled and you relaxed, "The fact of the matter is, we feel the same about each other, the rest will come in time." He was regaining his composure and slowly you began to calm down. He was right. It was just you and him. Everyone else is at bay, they will get their time. You don't have to wake everyone up to know their feelings. You have time, "I know Jimin said his piece to you too, and we're not going anywhere, so please, don't go." His voice was stable again as he tucked in the scared and lonely little boy that haunts him sometimes and set his mind straight.

You nodded against him, honest and understanding of his words. You were nervous, sure, but only time would tell. If you run, you break your heart. But if you stay, you could either get your heart broken or get everything you want. It's a risk that you don't know how to calculate, but it's a risk you're willing to take. Maybe Taehyung is right and everyone feels the same about you in a way you could only dream. Just maybe.

He lets you go and you look at him, flawless as ever. His face was minorly red, tears minuscule and long gone by now, "We should go to bed." You murmured as Taehyung reached up to wipe away the stray tears on your cheeks and he nodded. 

He held your hand as he pressed the elevator button, lightly scolding you for taking nine flights of stairs in slippers with no traction, "Wow, you tell me you tell me you like me and now I'm getting chewed out." You giggled, the feeling of someone fussing over your safety was quite refreshing.

He looked at you incredulously, "If you fell or hurt yourself, all hell would break loose." He chided and you hummed.

You broke out into a goofy smile, "You like me." You giggled and the man next to you gave you a side-eyed glare before giving up on containing his own smile.

"Yeah well," He paused for a moment, smiling to himself, "You like me back." He chuckled and you felt your face heat up. 

He squeezed your hand and you watched the floors tick up to your own, "Tae?"

"Yes?" He asked, noticing your voice got quieter, more unsure. 

"Do you have anything to do tomorrow or do you want to stay with me tonight?" You forced out, nervous he would say no. 

Little did you see, he broke out into a cheerful smile and thanked his lucky stars before responding coolly, "I'd be honored to stay with you tonight." 

The elevator dinged just in time and you held his hand all the way to your bedroom before finally standing to face him. You studied his face for the nth time tonight. He was still beautiful each time and the moonlight only further deified his beauty further, "You're all so beautiful." You mused, reaching up to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"And all yours." He breathed.

You scoffed, "Sounds impossible." 

"Start believing, my darling." His voice was as smooth and deep as ever and you looked into his eyes and found an emotion you'd never seen before. 

Maybe you could do this. Maybe Taehyung was right and all 7 of them felt the same. Maybe you were deserving of sex and love.

And quite possibly it was your own resignation of maybe of the whole situation that made you reach up and push his suit jacket off of his shoulders. Confused, he still shrugged off the jacket, letting it fall to the floor. You reached up and began undoing the third button on his shirt. With more of his chest exposed you reached your hands up and feel the exposed skin of his chest softly, "Baby, what are you- fuck!" You cut him off, leaning up to suck onto his neck harshly before licking the spot. Your breath hit his neck, "You have got to be careful or I may not be able to control myself." You merely smiled before licking a stripe along the column of his throat and you could feel the vibration of his groan against your tongue before kissing along his jaw, "I don't want you to think I just confessed to you so I could come up here and-" He cut himself off with a strangled growl as you shifted your leg up for your thigh to brush against his erection.

"I like how cumming feels knowing you're still going to like me the next day." You spoke honestly and Taehyung wanted to find every person who didn't make you feel that way, "Unless you don't want to do anything, which is fine." You nuzzled into his neck, "I just, want to be close to you in more ways than one." 

He pulled back to look at you properly and found no doubt in your eyes. With Jimin, sexual acts had been a show of emotions. Now that you thought about it, even what happened with Yoongi and Jin felt like something different than what you were used to. In each sexual encounter, there was a level of care, making it feel so alien. Even with Jungkook and Hoseok, there was something there that you didn't know, intimacy. And yet, it felt so good.

Nevertheless, he asked, "Are you sure?" You nodded and he smiled, head dipping down to kiss you deeply. You continued your work on the buttons of his shirt while your tongues felt each other. Your hands went to his belt, undoing the Italian leather before you pulled away from his mouth and began kissing down his neck and his hands intertwined with your hair, "Baby, you don't have to make me cum." He breathed and you sucked at his neck to protest.

"I want to feel you in my mouth." You whined, hand reaching into the pants you unbuttoned to grip his dick over his briefs, "Please?" 

He nodded, eyes heavy, unsure how he could ever say no to you in the first place, "On the bed though, I don’t want you to hurt your knees." His voice was soft and you giggled at his wholesome request but nodded anyway.

You sat on the bed as he rid himself of his mostly taken-off clothing. You both tangled into each other as he kissed while he laid over you on your bed. You lightly pushed him to flip over so you were on top of him, legs straddling his hips. His hands glided over your thighs, squishing the skin gleefully as you continued peppering kissing down his chest, pressing your core into his bare erection, making you let out a needy moan, “You’re so hard.” You whispered, mouth sliding down his body.

Before you knew it, you reached his dick and of course, it was pretty. You wrapped your hands around the base and he sucked in a breath through his teeth before you licked at the precum at the tip before taking as much of him as you could in your mouth and he let out the most delicious grunt,” So good to me, my little lamb.” He praised you in a gravelly voice and you felt yourself get wetter as his hands curled into your hair, “Fuck, just like that.” He groaned as you hollowed your cheeks and sucked him further. The dark room was filled with sounds of you drooling all over his erection as he praised you and was very vocal with his pleasure. The praise made you moan against his dick in delight, “My little lamb likes to be praised, huh?” He cooed, voice strained and breath heavy as you nodded, never letting his length escape your lips, “So perfect for me, aren’t you?” You hummed in delight as he threw his head back, fingers tensing in your hair as he did his best to not pull it or push your head down. However, determined to please, you guided his hand to push you further, nodding to let him know it was okay. He was gentle as he guided your head, his other hand intertwining with yours as a sweet gesture. You bobbed rhythmically and you could hear his noises becoming less and less controlled, “Fuck, I’m getting close.” He warned and you responded with a strong suck that made his hips lift off the bed, “Where do you want me to cum?” He asked urgently and you answered by looking up at him through your lashes with a look way too innocent for someone about to drink down his cum. It was that look that sent him over the edge and you felt him cum in your mouth. You drank him dry before letting his dick go with a resounding pop.

“Did I do well?” You asked and, his hand still in your hair, pulled you to him as he nodded before planting a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Perfect, baby, perfect.” He was breathless but still intent on kissing you deeply as he sat up, hands going to your thighs to grip the hem of your shirt, “Can I taste you, little lamb?” He asked and you nodded.

“Please.” You whined as he kissed your throat, going over the hickeys you had from the other me in the house, all of them mostly faded except for the one Jimin gave you. He lifted the shirt, only detaching from marking you to strip you of your clothing. He laid you down as he slipped your panties off, groaning at how you were glistening.

“You this wet for me, sweetheart?” He spoke huskily and you hummed desperately as his finger slid from your clit to your drenched hole slowly, “I really wanted to go slow, but fuck,” His finger slid in with little resistance much to his delight, “You’re just so ready for me, aren’t you?” You nodded, panting as his finger fucked slowly into you and he raised a brow, expecting you to be verbal.

“Yes, yes, I’m ready Sir, please.” You gasped out, fighting the urge to wiggle your hips as you confirmed with the honorific you trusted him enough to give yourself fully.

“Just because you’ve been so sweet to me,” He leaned down, breath fanning over your drenched core, “I won’t make you beg this time.” He kissed your clit, making you twitch before his tongue licked a stripe from your clenching hole to your clit, making you gasp, “You taste so fucking good, no wonder Jin and Yoongi were so smug for days.” He rasped and felt you clench around him further, “Oh?” He chuckled darkly as his tongue flicked your clit, “You like when I talk about the others? You wish they were here watching you squirm around my finger?” You writhed in delight as he slid another finger in, “You wish they were here helping me get you off so pretty, holding you down so you’ll be still like a good girl?” He teased you and it only soaked his fingers and tongue further as he slurped you intently. Taehyung had been waiting what felt like his whole life to have you come apart in his clutch and feel your sweet cum on his tongue.

He tasted you intently, fucking into you a little quicker as he let you squirm around him. He would be lenient and kind this time around, because of both of your desperations and tearful confessions. There was so much to feel and so much to taste, and he just wanted to have you crumble in his clutch. You were well on your way to be his, theirs, and he would be yours in return. He wanted to channel his hunger for you as he moaned into your pussy. You were already getting off by making him cum and now, you were unsure how long you would last if he kept flexing his tongue and running it over your clit as he curled his fingers in your cunt, hitting a particularly sensitive spot that made your back arch off the bed.

He murmured dirty and sweet nothings into your pussy as you clutched the sheets with a death grip, doing your best to not push his head into your core. You wanted him to have total control over your body and pleasure in this moment, “You’re getting close.” He cooed teasingly and you nodded, spurring him to take his fingers out.

You cried out as he chuckled, sucking your juices from the two fingers, “Please, I wanna cum, please, please!” You whimpered, pushing your hips up as he let his fingers go from his mouth.

“Shit, you’re so fucking cute.” He groaned, hands pinning your hips to the bed as you squirmed, “I’ll make you cum, baby, don’t worry.” He kissed at your clit, eliciting a desperate cry, “You just have to be really good for me and cum while I fuck you with my tongue.” He licked at your hole as you nodded eagerly, “Can you be good for me and do that?” His voice was dripping with lust.

“Yes, Sir, I can, I will, please!” You babbled, having been so close to cumming just moments ago.

You calling him Sir made his teasing nature disappear as he slid his tongue into you with a groan on his end and with you nearly screaming as he fucked into you. He moved inside of you as your walls fluttered, slowly clenching more and more as you could feel your high coming. It was when his hand went to rub quick circles onto your clit that you came with a strangled moan.

His tongue fucked you through your high and he only pulled away when your back settled back onto the bed and you were trying to catch your breath. He kissed your stomach before going to put on his briefs as he slid your panties back on. He hovered over you, placing a quick kiss on your mouth as you wrapped your arms around him, humming in bliss, “You’re such a good girl.” You keened at his praise as he placed a kiss on your cheek before rolling over to pull you in his arms, holding you tight.

“Now you get to be smug.”You giggled tiredly, eyes closing as you listened to his heartbeat.  

He chuckled, equally tired as he kissed the crown of your head, “I already am.” He mused, “Goodnight, little lamb.” His voice was soft and sweet as you could only muster another blissful hum.

Now, you were starting to understand what was so different about all of your sexual, or near-sexual, interactions with almost everyone. It was the emotion in it. 

You’ve had people say they liked you, get what they want, and then never see you again. However, the guys, barring Tae and Jimin, hadn’t said they liked you, but they tried to communicate it. They held you close, they stayed to cuddle with you after. There was care in the way they touched your body and it was liberating. It was frightening, the idea of getting used to something that could just go away one day, but nevertheless, you let your consciousness fade, knowing he would be there tomorrow morning.

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Claiming - Hybrid! San

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Ateez Masterlist

Pairing: Tiger Hybrid! San x Female Reader

Genre: Smut + Fluff

Summary: Part 2 of Obvious - San’s heat is coming to an end and he’s finally ready to hear your explanation for the events that brought it on in the first place. He also realizes though that some of those feelings he had during the week weren’t just his heat talking.

Warnings: The implied cheating from part 1 is explained, unprotected sex, marking, dom/sub themes, oral (f! receiving), degradation, dirty talk, cursing, soft and hard dom San, biting, claiming, blood, slapping (one to the thigh).

Word Count: 2,884

Note: This was finished and edited on breaks between my first day of a new job, with only three hours of sleep in my body, so it might be a mess. If you have concerns or things that seem like they need to be fixed please send me an ask or pm to resolve it.

“A-All yours! I’m your filthy fucking slut! Your kitten! S-San please!” You wonder if you’ve done enough as he only curls his tongue into you once before pulling away again. When he’s flipping you over though and placing your hips on the highest part of the armrest to show your ass off you already know what he’s planning, “F-Fuck yes! San please, please fuck me so good! Show everyone who owns this pussy!”

San laughs breathlessly as he strips behind you, playfully spanking your ass as he teases his tip through your fold before gripping your hips harshly and suddenly thrusting all the way into you. Leaning down with a smirk he kisses the shell of your ear before whispering.

“Oh, I will, kitten. You’ll be dripping my cum for days.”

You stirred by the feeling of fleeting kisses against the sensitive marks littering your neck. Your quiet whimper makes San slow his pace, being more gentle in the way his lips and tongue soothe at the marks he so harshly left behind over the last few days.

“Are you already ready for another round?” You whine softly, slumber still deep in your voice as you don’t even open your eyes yet. San was definitely built for weeks like this whereas you...not so much, despite how pleasant it was.

San chuckles deeply, “I mean I am, but that’s not why I woke you. I hadn’t intended to wake you at all. You’ve done so well for me this week, but you’re so exhausted now I just wanted to let you sleep.”

You hum softly with a small yawn, “You’re oddly soft right now, is your heat over already?”

“Not entirely, but it’s pretty much passed. I might get a sudden flash or two of heat today and tomorrow, the worst is over though. I’m at least coherent again.” San brushes the hair out of your face as your eyes finally flutter open to look up at him, before he kisses you softly, “Though eating you out might help with that a little bit too.”

You snicker knowing his statement was actually a request, “Go ahead then, you woke me up anyway and I’m too tired to stop you.”

San hums teasingly, “More like too enticed to stop me.”

You roll your eyes, making San laugh a little as he moves to hover over you, gently nudging your bare legs apart. You’re clothed in only a shirt and some panties knowing anything more wouldn’t have lasted during his heat anyways...not that these often did either. 

His hands ease up your thighs, inching closer and closer to your panties and the beginning of a wet spot that was forming. His thumb finding your clit through the thin fabric and rubbing slow circles onto it, easing your sensitive body into arousal once more. 

“Looks like I’m not the only one who’s ready to go again.” San teases, nuzzling up your thigh until he reaches your panties. His tongue giving slow laps over the wetness seeping through the material, a moan low in his throat at your taste. 

His heat is still spiking just slightly with you like this, so his hands are already moving to take your panties off. Going as slow as he can will with his heat making itself known still, not to tease for once though, simply to ensure your comfort after the last couple days of restless fucking. 

San’s rough tongue is slow and gentle in its movements between your folds. Watching your face closely to take in how you were feeling. When he determines that you’re feeling good and it’s not too much he places a soft kiss on your clit before giving it some attention. His lips around your clit shrouding your whole body in sweet bliss. His goal is just to bring you over the sweet edge once and to do so gently, letting your tensed worn-out body release and finally relax some. Only lapping your release up for a little bit, not wanting to overstimulate you, just to clean you up.

“So good for me, kitten. Such a good girl.” San praises softly and you buzz at the praise drawing him up for a brief kiss.

“Does this mean we can finally talk about what happened?” You inquire with a quiet voice not wanting to push anything, especially with San’s heat still lingering.

San hums, “We can, but not yet. First I’m going to draw you a nice bath to relax and clean up in and then I’m going to feed you some breakfast. We can talk once I’ve made sure you’ve had a chance to recover.” 

He kisses your forehead before going to do as he had said he was going to. Humming a soft tune as he goes, something that eases your worries about where you and he stood.

Leaning back in your seat after finishing a full meal without interruption for the first time in four days you were starting to feel much more recharged now. Thinking that San may have had a good point in wanting to clean up and eat properly first. 

Resting your chin in your palm you watch him as he finishes up his own food and it makes him chuckle, “That eager to talk about it?”

“I mean...I’ve been anxious about it so kind of ready to get it over with. I’m worried about what you think of me.” You admit, leaning into San’s touch when you feel him cupping your cheek.

“I know I get jealous easily, but I trust you, my love. I know whatever explanation you have will be reasonable.” San encourages brushing his thumb over your skin.

“My brother is visiting, so I went to spend some time with him. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him, so there was a lot of hugging involved.” You laugh a little when San’s brows furrowed in confusion knowing the scent wasn’t anything like yours or anyone in your family, “He was my foster brother. My family looked after him for a few years until someone adopted him...well before we were able to anyways. He comes and visits when he can, but it’s not super often. I was going to tell you about it, considering he wants to meet you, but it kind of triggered your heat, so we’ve not really got a chance to talk about that.”

San flushes a little rubbing the back of his neck, “Yeah...we have been a bit preoccupied...but of course, I’d want to meet him! Though I am curious as to why he wants to meet me.”

“He said it’s because you’re important to me...and he says he can tell from how happy I am that you’re the one. So he wants to come to see if you have any wedding plans or anything I guess.” You laugh a little but notice how his ears perk up at the mention of weddings.

“Oh? It’s interesting you bring that up...cause my heat got me thinking about somethings.” San admits, blushing a slightly deeper hue now. 

This time it’s you who reaches out to him, cupping his cheek in your palm and trying to calm him, “Well you can talk to me about it if you’re ready to. You know that.”

San nods softly, hand slipping over yours and turning his head to kiss your palm, “I just want to move too fast and scare you away or anything.” 

“If you’re moving too fast I’ll say so, but I seriously doubt you’ll ever scare me away at this point. If that was going to happen it would have happened a long time ago.” You joke with him, trying to lighten the mood some and put him more at ease.

“Well we haven’t really talked about it too much, so for starters...hybrids don’t usually have a wedding as you would have. I mean...I’m not opposed to it of course especially for you and your family. I know how special and meaningful that is for you...but we take that step differently typically.” San explains, noticing how your face scrunches in confusion. You had done a lot of research about hybrids having San around and wanting to be familiar with his needs and what to expect, yet you’d never seen anything that you could think he could be talking about now.

“Well then what do you usually do? I want to know. If we were to have a wedding for me, then I’d want to do the equivalent for you too.” You encourage and he takes your hands in his carefully.

“Why don’t you hear what it is before making that decision, my love. It might not be so pleasant for you...like my heat you’ll be okay to handle it, but you weren’t made for it either. So if you don’t want to do it I understand.” San leans forward brushing your hair back and kissing your forehead softly, “For hybrids, we do something a lot less public...and a lot more intimate. Usually, we get the urge to do it while in our heat, but unless we really want that it goes away after our heat...that desire isn’t going away for me this time. I want it still.” 

Your skin is a bit heated at the implications, but you still have so many unanswered questions, “Just tell me what happens San. It’s alright.”

“When a hybrid and the person who he wants to be with forever...to be his mate are...well...breeding. He claims her, right here...” San’s thumb brushes over the sensitive skin on your sweet spot, the very spot he loves to suckle his marks onto, “ It’s a bite simply put, meant to leave a lasting mark for anyone to see. It will hurt and it will bleed, but I promise it will make you feel good too and I’ll take care of you if you were to agree.” 

You hum, processing his explanation for a moment, “And you want to do that with me?”

San nods almost immediately, “I do. I really...really do, but I don’t want to hurt you or do anything that would make you upset or uncomfortable.”

“Well, I’ll agree...on one condition.” You finally voice your opinion and it has San looking at you intently, waiting to hear whatever it was your condition would me. Ready to do anything in a heartbeat, “I want to do this in some sort of order that makes sense to me too...so propose first and once we’re engaged you can claim me in every way you want San.”

“Oh fuck...I totally forgot about the whole engagement thing...I have to get a ring, don’t I? ...fuck, I don’t even know where to start.” San whines and it makes you giggle.

“Who says we have to have the ring in hand for you to propose? You can ask without it...besides I’m sure my family would love to help you pick something out later.” You smirk at him, watching as it takes a minute to understand what you mean before getting giddy once again.

San scrambles down onto one knee, giggling a little himself, “Well then...Y/N will you marry me? Will you be my one and only? Forever?”

“Yes San, I will.” You giggle back, cupping his cheeks and leaning down to kiss him. Something he easily returns as he stands and takes you into his arms. 

It doesn’t take long for the kiss to become more intense, San’s heat flashing through him again at your agreeing and touch. It being enough to spur on another wave of desire, one that was obvious even to you as a human. In part because you knew him and in part due to the fact that his skin burned under your touch, his arousal building beneath his pants and pressing against your hip.

“Well go on then...if you want it so badly I’m not going to stop you San. I want it too, to be yours for the whole world to see...claim me San.” Your pleads have San growling, nipping at your lips before capturing them passionately once more. His hands groping at any part of you that they could get to as he gets more desperate to feel you again. 

San’s hands move to grip your thighs, pressing against you before picking you up to carry you back to your bedroom. His tongue laving over your sweet spot, before giving it special attention with his lips, only breaking away to lay you back onto the bed. 

“How sore are you, kitten?” San asks, hands toying with the hem of the shirt you were wearing as he watches your face.

“Not enough that you should hold back.” You smirk, knowing what he was asking and he smacks your thigh playfully, barely leaving a sting.

“Don’t get cocky with me, just because I’m trying to take care of my kitten. Besides you’re going to be sore again after this.” San’s words sound more like a promise than anything else as his lips find your throat again, seemingly fixed on it right now. His hands working your shirt up at a slow pace, not ready to leave the sweet spot his mouth was focused on again yet. 

“I better be. I like having that constantly reminding me of you. Besides, the things that lead to me being so sore are the most fun anyway.” Your words make San smirk against your skin, before pulling back to pull your shirt off entirely.

“Oh is that so kitten? Does my girl like it rough?” San mocks leaning down to bite playfully at your nipple, “Want me to ruin you?” 

“Fuck, yes...I do. I want it so badly.” Your desperation is growing along with his and making you both restless. San’s chuckle turns into a growl as he smells your arousal in the air. 

San’s fingers slip down between your folds, seeing how wet you were before quickly pulling your panties down. His hand moves to return to your folds until you push it away, making his eyes snap up to your face sternly.

“Easy there tiger.” You snicker, “I’m not stopping you, it’s just...” 

San’s brows furrow at your hesitance thinking maybe you were reconsidering this for now, until he sees how flustered you are instead of regret on your face, “What is it kitten?”

“Please no teasing...I’m already ready for you again, no prep.” You admit and San licks his lips looking down at your soaked folds. 

“Oh, so that’s what it is hm? And here I thought I was the desperate one with my heat.” San taunts, making quick work of his pants and letting his hard cock slap against his abs. 

You nod, biting your lip. Though soon it won’t matter what you do, San will have you screaming. San’s tip running through your sodden folds as something, before pushing into you. The feeling only more familiar after the last few days, but no less blissful. His hands gripping your hips, thumbs rubbing at your skin, before his touch gets firmer, holding you in place. His thrusts start slow, but deep and forceful, hitting all the right spots. Enamored with the way your breasts bounce with each thrust, leaning down and teasingly flicking his tongue over one of your nipples. 

As his pace picks up his hands move to your thighs, pushing them open to give himself full access to your heat. His one hand moving up again, his thumb finding your clit and rubbing circles onto it. His other hand now gripping your jaw to make you look into his eyes. His lips moving in towards yours, growling against your lips.

“Fuck kitten, you’re so good for me. You’re going to take it, won’t you? You’ll cum and then take everything I give you like a good girl won’t you?” San’s questions are more of a demand knowing that you could, but there’s a desperation to them that lets you know he needs your answer too. 

Your palms pull his face in for a kiss before moving his face to your neck again, fingers tangling into his hair and tugging to a nip and another growl.

"I...I'm going to cum for you San..." You keen, San thrusting harder, his fingers putting more pressure on your clit. Trying to distract you from the initial pain you would soon feel as he bites down onto your sweet spot the second he feels you cumming around him. The pain soon bleeds into white-hot pleasure coursing through your whole body, riding you through your orgasm, the more intense you've had yet as he cums inside of you.

Once you've both started to come back to reality San leans down, gently lapping at the wound as blood trickles out and onto your skin. Before giving you a short, sweet kiss.

"I'm going to clean that up and get it taken care of and then I'll take care of the rest of you kitten." He promises, kissing your forehead, " You've done so good for me you can rest now."

His words of assurance are all your body needs for you to start drifting off again. Only slightly registering the feeling of him cleaning and dressing the wound for you before you're entirely swept away into your dreams...dreams of the future. Of your future, with San.

Tags: @foreveryouaremystar​

[joonie-beanie]

Bean (MC) + sexual relationships with the Demon Brothers

This is an HC no one asked for, but here I am, being thirsty as hell for literally every brother, and funneling that thirst through Bean. Don’t judge me

(This time, in reverse order!...because I can! Also these are kind of messily written but I don’t know how to fix it at this point so forgive plz)

Belphegor:

General Vibe: Lowkey and Playful

Notable Kinks: Choking, edging, overstim, marking

Sex between Bean and Belphie is typically lowkey, and a little playful--depending on the mood.

They may be low-energy buddies, but they’re also both brats, which makes for a dangerous combination.

Most soft (aka lazy) sessions start one of two ways--with Belphie’s mouth on Bean’s neck, or Bean’s hand down Belphie’s pants. 

Belphie is the first of the brothers to discover how sensitive Bean’s neck is. It happens when they’re cuddling, one day, and he leans in to press a kiss to her shoulder. When she shivers, immediately jerking away from the feeling with a high-pitched gasp? Oh, Belphie is relentless.

He holds her against him sternly, not letting her run away, as he assaults her neck and shoulders with his lips, tongue and teeth. (Over time, he absolutely develops a kink for seeing her covered hickies he has given her, and always wears such a little, shit-eating grin if she appears in a hoodie, or anything else that will hide away her upper torso from prying eyes).

He manages to get hard just from hearing her embarrassing sounds (which she is so desperately trying to stifle), and also the fact that every time she wriggles in his arms, her ass grinds against his cock. 

When he’s finally too hard for comfort, he’ll likely take her in either of his two favorite positions. One, with her on her back, and his hand around her throat (she likes being choked, and he likes seeing her lose herself from the lack of blood flow), or two, on her knees, with her chest pressed against the sheets.

Usually, if he’s already pent up, he doesn’t bother edging, or overstimulating her. He’ll just fill Bean with his seed, and flop down onto the sheets, and go back to cuddling her--all blissed out, and tired from the orgasm.

If he feels he can last a while, he’ll likely edge her a few times, just to make her whine, and see if she’ll beg. OR, he’ll make her cum, and then keep going despite how her body is shaking from overstim.

If Bean is the one feeling a little bratty, then she’ll slip her hands beneath the waistband of his pants, and tease him with her fingers. (They both share the role of big spoon, so it’s not strange for her to be able to reach around him, and toy with him like he does her).

Since he never lets her leave without some array of marks littering her neck and shoulders, she makes sure to pay him back--kissing and nipping at his skin until he’s got a few love bites to remember her by.

Bean getting Belphie off with her hand is not very rare. If she’s spooning him, and he’s tired, he has no issue letting her jack him off. However, if he’s not groggy from sleep, he’ll likely turn the tables on her--taking her how he wants, or grabbing her hair and coaxing her head into his lap.

Beel:

General Vibe: Very sweet, or entirely overwhelming (in a good way).

Notable Kinks: Oral, marking, breeding

Bean is honestly a little freaked out by the idea of receiving oral before she meets Beel. She’s embarrassed by the idea of someone camping out between her legs, and it takes a little bit of convincing on Beel’s part before she finally allows him to taste her.

Once he does, he can’t stop, and Bean learns just how pleasurable (and damning) oral sex can be. Because with Beel, once is never good enough. The first time he goes down on her, she has to beg him to stop--her body shaking from overstim, and covered in sweat. She has no idea how long he’s spent with his mouth on her pussy, but it’s at least been an hour, and he still looks so hungry.

Beel is someone very close to her heart, and has helped her learn to love many of her insecurities, so he loves to have soft, caring sex with her. Sex where Bean whispers praises into his skin, and he mirrors her sentiments via soft touches with his hands, and mouth. 

He takes her in a position where he’s guaranteed to face her--where she can cradle his face, and kiss him over and over again as they both fall apart. When she finally cums, she does so while gasping his name, with her fingers digging into his shoulder blades. And when Beel cums, he buries his face in the crook of her neck and bites down on her skin--hard enough to leave marks, but not draw blood. 

She spends her post orgasm bliss tucked into his arms, with her back against his chest, and his lips pressed into her hair. He likes to stay inside of her as long as possible--until he eventually goes soft, and his cum starts leaking out of her.

Of course...sometimes Beel can’t help but be a bit rougher--to crave a little more. He is a demon, after all.

So, when Beel isn’t feeling so soft, he tends to manhandle her. His strength is already known by her--after all, he can carry her with little effort, whereas most humans would struggle to even lift her into a hug--but it never fails to surprise her when he throws her onto the bed, or hikes her up against the wall without batting an eye. (It’s such a turn on).

When Beel’s in a more carnal mood, Bean resigns herself to just being along for the ride. She lets him take her however he wants, as long as he wants. While he has never admitted it, she’s positive he has a bit of a breeding kink, because he loves to go multiple rounds, and makes sure she’s taking as much of his seed as she can. 

When he’s in this state, he tends to leave more marks, as well. Most notably on her thighs, tummy, and chest. 

Once things finally calm down, he’ll make sure she’s alright, and clean her up before holding her for as long as he can.

Oh, also, Bean does reciprocate oral for him. However, Beel is big and her jaw hurts if it’s open too wide, so if she ever starts to ache, Beel is more than happy to use her in other ways instead (Bean honestly feels so lucky that he’s so understanding).

Asmo:

General Vibe: Fun, and uplifting.

Notable Kinks: Edging, overstim, toys, praise kink

Bean is actually more comfortable being dominant with Asmo, than she is subbing.

Asmodeus has a huge praise kink--both giving and receiving, and Bean is more than happy to feed into that--telling him about all his good points while she jacks/sucks him off, or even pegs him.

And, of course, Asmo is more than happy to be submissive to her. She’s not a hard dom by any means, but she can be a bit sadistic (he honestly thinks it stems from her bratty submissive side), and does enjoy edging him, and watching him beg.

It’s actually exciting to Bean to be able to dominate someone and not feel completely self conscious about it. Asmo is really great at reassuring her-- since he’s not afraid to be vocal, or ask for more. It lets Bean know he’s enjoying himself, and helps build her confidence. 

Once Asmo finally gets off, he refuses to let Bean leave without having her own orgasm (even if she assures him she’s okay. He’s the Avatar of Lust--there’s no way in hell he’s not going to return the pleasure she has just given him).

So, when Asmo is trying to repay her actions, he tends to get her off with a vibrating wand (the two absolutely include toys in their play regularly), or with his mouth. Bean gets turned on from fucking him, so she gets off fairly quickly once its her turn.

However, just because Bean dom’s Asmo, doesn’t mean he’s always submissive. Oh no, sometimes, he loves flustering her and taking the reins. (And it really does fluster her. Too much).

While Asmo has a huge praise kink, and soaks up all of her kind words, Bean has no idea how to handle his praise towards her, and usually just turns into a whining mess, begging him to shut up. (Of course, Asmo is pretty relentless, and doesn’t stop until she’s a complete mess from his words).

Sessions with Asmo are usually a fair amount of time, since he really likes to indulge himself in the act, but they don’t unnecessarily drag on. He knows that he and Bean both have other things to get to, and doesn’t feel the need to keep her around him after their love making. No, he makes sure she’s okay, gives her whatever amount of aftercare she needs, and then the two go on their merry way.

Although…there are the rare times where Asmo keeps her there the entire day. While his powers don’t work on her, that doesn’t mean he can’t find a good substitute (aka sometimes, with her consent, they’ll mess around with giving her an aphrodisiac). Whenever Bean takes the aphrodisiac, it’s typically a very intense experience, so they don’t do it often. But when they do? Oh man, Asmo is in love.

Satan:

General Vibe: Unhurried, light-hearted (and sometimes ruining)

Notable Kinks: Pet play, Training

Because Satan is aware of Bean’s writing habits, and has taken to proofing her work for her, the two of them casually speak of sex often, which turns into...well, actual sex between them.

Satan finds it quite cute that despite the smut she writes, Bean doesn’t have a ton of experience to back it up. So, he devotes himself to kindly helping her gain some experience (at least at first).

It starts with oral training--Satan giving Bean pointers on giving head (ya know...so she can write it with a clearer picture/experience in mind). Bean...doesn’t have the best gag reflex, hence the “training”. Satan pretty much takes it upon himself to help her tame her reflex (for the most part--after all, making her gag sometimes is still fun).

Of course...he enjoys this arrangement more than he cares to admit, and he soon breaks down, wanting more. The first time he throws Bean onto his bed and cages her down, all red in the face as he asks if he can have her--oof. She’ll never forget it. And, well, Bean has been a little...pent up, even if she won’t admit it (since blowing Satan actually turns her on a lot), so she’s more than happy to let things progress farther.

Following the broadening of their sexual relationship, Satan takes to, well, training her in other ways. Particularly...through light forms of pet play. So maybe he has a collar and leash, and a cat tailed butt plug. And maybe every time he puts them on/in Bean, it makes her blush so red, and in turn makes him grin so proudly. (He is, after all, the Avatar of Wrath. It’s in his nature to be a little mean).

Their overall play doesn’t get extremely rough. Most of the time, it’s middle ground--rough enough to satisfy them both, without being too intense.

However, sometimes Satan does get a little...feral for lack of a better term. Especially if she’s being a little too bratty, and he’s not in the mood for it. When that happens, Satan gets rough--taking 100% control of the situation. He’ll tease her about how her bratty remarks are nowhere to be found, now that he’s absolutely ruining her.

Once Satan has finally had his fill, though, he’ll be sure to clean her up, and check on her--asking if she’s alright, and bringing her water, and whatever else she may need.

Overall, though, usually sex between the two is very casual, and unhurried. Bean feels comfortable with Satan, especially because they can still talk/banter like normal, even if her mouth is on him, or if he’s inside of her.

Also, Satan won’t admit it, but he’s pretty invested in seeing how else he can train her. His next goal is getting her to cum on command. 

Levi:

General Vibe: needy, intense, competitive

Notable Kinks: DP, oral, thigh fucking

The first time the two have sex, it’s because Levi get’s frustrated over the fact that she’s kicking his ass at Mario Kart. He goes demon form, and Bean attempts to calm him down by pressing her hands to his chest, and kissing him.

It actually makes his brain blue screen for a few seconds, before he’s dragging her over to his tub. He’s hesitant, at first, but with Bean’s reassurance that she’s fine, and that she wants him, he eventually gives into his desires and stops worrying so much. 

And the minute Levi subconsciously begins using his tail to hold her down, or aid in the sex, and realizes that she loves it. Damn. 90% of the time he’s in his demon form when they have sex, because his tail is sensitive and he absolutely will use it on her so long as she permits it.

Sometimes, he only uses it to hold her wrists, or spread her legs, but other times he basically uses it as a second dick and wow, he’s super weak watching Bean fall apart as he fucks two of her holes open.

And Bean, despite her embarrassment, allows herself to be a little vocal for Levi, because it gives him the reassurance that he so desperately needs, and she loves seeing him confident, and using her to seek what he wants.

Levi tends to lose himself, when he’s really having fun. At first, he may be cautious about what he’s doing, but once he really starts feeling good, and realizes that he’s making Bean feel good, he lets his worries go.

And when that happens, he can go for a while. Like, Bean about to pass out but he’s still hard despite having cum in her twice while. However, Levi doesn’t get like that too often. Usually he’s happy with one, good, satisfying round of sex (and so is Bean). But...they both definitely enjoy it when things do get a little more intense.

Also, Bean blowing/jacking off Levi while he’s playing video games is 100% a thing. Most of the time he manages to keep playing, but eventually ends up pausing the game when he’s close to cumming and can’t focus anymore. 

In turn, if the two are playing a game together, and Bean is winning...maybe Levi lets his demon form come forth, and lets his tail wind up her leg. And when the appendage starts groping her, it’s very hard to stay focused.

ALSO, Bean is not big into cosplay, or roleplay, but...she’ll wear a mini skirt and thigh highs for Levi. Asmo buys Bean a maid costume from Akuzon and when Levi sees her in it...and the SQUISHY ANIME GIRL THIGH LINE HE SO DEARLY LOVES...he awakens something within himself.

So yes, upon occasion, when Levi can’t stop staring at her thighs, or if she’s wearing something that draws attention to them, he’ll absolutely just thigh fuck her. It makes him weak.

Mammon:

General Vibe: Teasing, bratty

Notable Kinks: Oral, Anal, Edging 

Mammon is a tsundere but Bean is a brat...and sometimes they don’t mix well.

But, Mammon is the avatar of Greed, and he’s greedy with Bean, and wants the same thing she’s willing to offer his brothers (with her consent, obviously, he’s not an asshole). Luckily, despite their inherent natures, it still works.

And by work, 90% of the time that means “Mammon whines about wanting intimacy, and Bean gives him exactly what he wants, only for him to get flustered by it”. But...she kind of likes seeing him all blushy, and honestly, as long as Mammon is getting his rocks off in the end, he can get over being embarrassed.

Typically, their sessions start one of two ways. 1. Mammon is just craving her affection, and at some point shared hugs and kisses progress into hands under clothes, and breathy moans. Or 2. Mammon sees traces of his brothers “love” on her, and he sits in the corner and pouts about it until a. Bean goes over and coaxes him out of his mood, or b. Mammon takes things into his own hands.

If Mammon is just craving affection, then he’ll likely saddle up next to her, and grumble while wrapping his arms around her. But...his hugs will turn into groping, and his lips will find hers, or sensitive areas of skin to tease. And then he’s grumbling about how she’s his, as their bodies press together--making Bean aware of the fact that he’s definitely hard.

And once he’s hard, and Bean is making little sounds that has him knowing she’s feeling good too, well...Mammon grins and gets to it.

He prefers to take her from behind, because that way he can grab her ass ( and he loves her ass. Like...he’s weak for anal with her. They don’t have it all the time, but sometimes. As a special treat).

The first few times they fuck, Mammon cums before her, and while she reassures him that she’s fine not cumming, Mammon doesn’t want to be one of, if not the only, brother who hasn’t made her cum, so. He steps up his game. Now, he always has them cum together, if not her first.

At least...that’s how it goes when he’s the one being more dominant. Because Bean loves to tease him, especially when he’s already blushy, and flustered. 

During the times where she takes charge, she’ll slip into her bratty nature as she teases him with dirty remarks while taking his cock into her hand, or mouth. And Mammon does his best not to fall apart as she brings him to the edge one, twice, and again, until he’s cursing and begging for her to let him cum already. And she always does--but hey, a girl has to have her fun first right?

Lucifer:

Overall Vibe: Intimate, Sadistic (surprise surprise)

Notable Kinks: Bondage, Spanking, Denial

Once Bean finally gets over emotional constipation, and the two realize they do, indeed, reciprocate each other's feelings, well...sex is kind of enivitable (not that either of them mind).

At first, their sex is very intimate, and needy. Bean is a mixture of embarrassed and excited, whereas Lucifer feels he needs to catch up for lost time--to stake his equal claim to her as his brothers have. He works quickly while reassuring her of his feelings--drowns them both in their pleasure until the cravings they’ve held onto for so long are thoroughly spent.

Then...once things have calmed down, things get a little more...spicy.

Whereas before, Lucifer may have just scolded Bean for making a bratty comment. Well...now he can reprimand her in other ways.

While Lucifer isn’t big on leaving hickies, or bite marks like some of his brothers, he has no issue bending her over the desk in his study, and reddening her ass and thighs (he prefers to use his hand, but if he’s feeling particularly mean, he may pull out the whip he so dearly loves). And for what it’s worth, Bean enjoys it--she wouldn’t be bratty to him otherwise (and, of course, Lucifer wouldn’t spank her to begin with if she wasn’t getting something out of it as well).

Aside from this, Lucifer has taken to using his rope skills on her--but in ways far more enjoyable than he uses on Mammon. Likeeeee...tying her hands behind her back and having her service him while he works. Orrrrr...putting her in a pretty body harness, because he enjoys seeing the way it accentuates her (and he likes seeing rope marks as well). Oh, and you can’t forget tying her down on his bed so he’s truly in 100% control.

One of Lucifer’s favorite things to do is tie her up, and then deny her. Time and time again, until she’s quite literally begging--letting go of her mental restraints in order to plead for her orgasm. Watching her fall apart for him is his delight, and only once he’s satisfied with how helpless she has become, does he allow her to cum.

Of course, sex with Lucifer isn’t always so intense, or sadistic. No, the man is busy, and sometimes Bean just wants to help him unwind. So, she’ll take it upon herself to settle between his legs and get him off with her mouth and hands. Or, she’ll snuggle up to him in bed, and if she feels him getting hard, she’ll just kiss him and ask if he wants her to take the reins for the night (which usually means riding him, while he holds her hips--only helping her out when she gets close and can barely move anymore).

And they both love the soft, intimate sessions as much as they do the ones where Lucifer gets Bean so desperate that tears prick her eyes.

Lucifer is very good about aftercare, though, especially when he’s been quite mean. He’ll clean her up and kiss her hair and bring her water. Oh, and of course she’ll be staying with him for the night--with his arm draped over her waist, or his wings curled around her. (Like she’d even try to leave…)

[dog-teeth]

Did you experience any emotional changes when you started T? How was it

yeah, a whole bunch! i guess ill start with anger. pre-T, my anger often skipped over the part where i was angry and went straight into feeling frustrated, helpless, sad, or worthless. i think part of this is biological and part of it is because of how women are conditioned to not feel or express anger. when i got really angry pre-T, i would just cry. i remember feeling white-hot rage, so so fucking angry, and i would just be weeping, and whoever i was angry at would be like aww are you okay / not take me seriously bc i was crying which just made me More Angry which just made me cry more!!!! it was one of my least favorite feelings ever.

now on T i get angry more quickly, i’m more prone to being snappy with people and reacting with anger before realizing i don’t want to react that way or don’t feel that way at all. anger is a response i go to more quickly and more often now. however, it also goes away faster, and leaves less residue behind. i used to never be able to fully let go of my anger, i would seethe and fester because it just wouldnt go away bc i had no outlet to let it out. when i did have anger breakdowns even then it was just bc i had reached a snapping point and it didn’t do much in terms of catharsis. i wanted to burn alive. i wanted to burn the whole world, but i couldn’t, i felt helpless and small, and the feeling of frustration never went away. but now i can actually let go of my anger, it comes and goes faster and doesnt leave behind that terrible deep frustration. i get angry, i want to run really fast or hit or break something, i let it out in a healthy way (usually sprinting) or an unhealthy way (snapping at someone) and then it goes away.

and then, basically the opposite is true with sadness. i used to just cry and release my sadness and then feel better (though underlying deep depression-type sadness was still there and still is). but its harder for me to cry now. sadness lives deep in my heart in a way that is slightly more suffocating now when it gets strong. its not quite as prevalent as the anger thing bc i can still have catharsis for my sadness without crying, crying just helps a lot. also, and this was true pre-T as well, i cry much much i more over media than i do over my real life.

i think it has to do with my hyperempathy because of adhd/autism. not sure why, but media i feel strongly about can make me cry INSTANTLY whereas i rarely cry over the very real grief and sadness i experience in my own life. in general tho i am less sad.

next on the list is sex and romance! (slight nsfw warning) idk how deep i wanna go into it but i will say that my sex drive increased and the things i wanted out of my sexual and romantic life changed a lot, in terms of things like what gender i was attracted to, what dynamic i wanted to have during sex (top/bottom, dom/sub, what activities i wanted to do, etc). who i wanted to be in a relationship and in bed both changed. the way i experience desire and attraction is different, both romantically and sexually.

and now i’m much more confident! now that i’m not nearly as dysphoric, i have no problem meeting new people bc im content with how they will perceive me physically. i used to hate talking because i hated my voice, i didn’t even really see it completely as dysphoria, like yeah i wished it was lower but i thought i just hated my voice for no real reason. but all thats gone now! i love talking to people, i love meeting people, i love being around people (until my introvert instincts kick in then i love being alone at home but its not bc of gender lol)

i didnt even realize how dysphoric i was until i stopped being dysphoric and i realized how prevalent and crushing it was in my life. i’m also more confident because i can be more myself. since im physically more androgynous, i can do things that are seen as feminine without feeling dysphoric or getting instantly misgendered. to be androgynous i used to have to put all my effort toward being masculine to balance out my body’s perceived femininity. i used to only be able to wear out ‘masculine’ clothes and even then i would still get misgendered and be dysphoric.

now i’m growing my hair out, i can wear dresses and skirts and eyeshadow and have much more fun with my gender presentation. im much more confident and happy with myself! i had no idea how much it would improve my life.

its been really strange experiencing basic fundamental emotions like anger and desire and social connection in a different way! but i’m 100% happy with all of it!!

[insufferablelust]

THE ARTIST AND HIS MUSE (vi)

okay but that gif sent me to blazing hell, anyways! this is the 6th installment to the series! i hope you enjoy! it’s kinda a filler chapter to make straighten the plot line, thank you for reading! MASTERLIST for earlier chapter.

WARNINGS : Dom!Spencer x Sub!Reader, no actual smut, allusions to sex and pre-BDSM talk, traumatic past, Huge Build up (sorry loves), Cheesy fluffs.

I would also like to say that, some aspects of this story is not consistent with the actual series, i make some changes to fit the plot lines better. Full credit to the creators and directors of the series though.

—————

{ love is a world of it’s own, that lives in the heart not in the head. -Diana & Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds }

————

I love you

I love you.

————

The next morning, had me smiling. It was the longest sleep i’ve gotten in awhile and one that doesn’t have nightmares, all because he’s here. Spencer’s here, i shuddered as i felt his arms tightened around my waist and his legs tangled with mine. It felt so good just to know that we’re both safe and sound inside each other’s embrace, even if it’s temporary.

I listened to his breathing for awhile, he sounded so calm, there’s nothing i wouldn’t do to ease all of his worries and soothe the very thing that had him overthinking everything. His mind is a complicated place, he said so to me one time that “You never know what its like to be the prisoner of your own mind.” he didn’t know then that i’m still trying to get out of mine.

I bit my lip hard, as the memories from last night flooded back, i used to promised myself to not say any of my past to anyone, but now Spencer knows and i’m terrified that something will happen to him. Bad things tend to occur when they know the real me, and i won’t let anything happen to Spencer.

I shake away my bad thoughts and move on to the more exciting time of the night, god— i could still feel the way he touched me, the way he whispered so cruelly yet so lovingly. It was different from the first time we had sex, he was gentle whereas that time he was rough, dominant. I love both Reid’s, and yet i just can’t seem to get the thought out of my head, “How did he know that much about Dominance and Submissive play?” It’s not just common knowledge on how to perfectly bound someone or edge someone right? according to your experience, His techniques were as sophisticated as someone who had years of BDSM training.

“I could’ve sworn that dream was real.” Spencer’s morning voice pulled me out of my thoughts, i turned my head to see him before flashing him a smile and giggled. “Penny for your dreams then?”I muttered jokingly which he told me that it involved me and him, i stifled my laugh as i hid my face on his neck, immediately feeling the immense calmness radiated from his scent alone.

“Remember that one time, on the picasso signature case?” He mumbled sleepily against my hair, “how could i not remember? that case is the one that changes everything.” I looked up to him then, ran my fingers through his hair.

“I remembered just how flushed you are, i always liked you since the beginning, i just.. i just don’t know how your reaction would be so i kept it a secret.” He paused to look down at me, tucking my hair behind my ear, then continue,

“But then i started noticing little.. changes in your behavior, so i observed you for weeks which i know is creepy but hey.. i was practically in love with you at that point, you got anxious a lot around me which you hid it really well but then that one time during a case you just completely went flushed and your pupils were dilated, your breathing labored— which convinced my theory.” He explained, with eyebrows raised and a smirk itching to appear on his godforsaken lustful lips.

“Mmm, which is what Dr.Reid?” I batted my eyelash up at him, not knowing where my sudden burst of confidence appeared from but not caring either. “That you feel the same way about me, if not romantically, then at least sexually.” There it is, his lips curved up at one side— i was about to answer but beat me to it- leaned against my ear and whispered, “Stop with the act or i’ll spank your ass purple.”

“Oh Spencer, you’re saying it like it’s something i wouldn’t love.” I scoffed as i sit up on the bed, then straddled his hips. My respond lit up something inside him, something primal that i can see it in his eyes, his demeanor changed 180 which sent thrill to my skin.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?”

“I think i am, and so are you.”

“Oh i am pet, It’s fascinating how much you think you have control when it’s been showed clearly on who’s in charge, by the marks on your skin, and the burning sensation between your legs.” It felt like he poured all the molten lava on top of me to leave me burning, the way he said all of that turned me on beyond belief.

“You forget that i’m in control of you, and by so i can take away the things you ‘love’, when we talk about our relationship later, i’ll make sure spanking won’t be in the list of punishments— since you’re such a needy masochist.” I can’t help but to whine at his words, only to confirm all he said is true, true to every damn detail.

“S-Sorry sir and yes we need to talk about it..” I was so flustered i couldn’t think of anything else but that, i knew if i asked for him to touch me now he would just laughed, so maybe i can try to get back in his good mercy.

“There you go, you have manners after all. We’ll talk about it over breakfast, go and shower, i’ll make french toast.” He make sure to kiss my lips before patting my bum as a signal that I need to get up, which i happily did so. “Oh and sweetheart?”

“Yes, sir?”

“If i find you touching whats mine, Expect to be denied with ruined orgasms for a week.”

—————

The smell of french toast cooking hit my nose on the perfect Sunday morning as i stepped out of the bathroom, quickly drying myself off then went to my closet to pick out an outfit that was both comfy but also would make Spencer goes crazy. I smiled as i saw a vintage dress i’ve owned since college, it was a Sabrina type dress that stopped right above my cleavage, showing plenty of skin from there up to my neck.

I put on the dress quickly, decided not to apply any make up, and comb my hair to let it fall freely. I stand in front of the mirror to see how i looked, the sight made me shiver, the marks he had given me last night littered all over the exposed skin of my neck down to my collarbones, I bit my lips at the thought of bearing more of his mark as a way to show everyone that he owns me. Body and soul.

After a good 5 minutes, i snapped out of my thoughts and head downstairs right to where Spence is plating the french toast. “Go sit on the table. I’m almost done” He ordered, so i sit down, waiting for him to finally see me, my knees bounced against the table as i waited in anticipation.

“Y/N stop being anxious, your knees keeps—“ He demanded, only to be cut off when he saw me. He stopped dead at his track, holding both plates in each hand, his eyes widened a little as his breathing got labored at the sight of me, Spencer bit his lip hard taking a deep breath, before placing your plates in front of me, and his plate opposite of mine.

As you thought he was about to sit, he strolled to my side, hands immediately gripped my jaw and pulled me out of my seat— his hand are so tight around my jaw, i’m sure it’ll bruise, good. I took in the state of him, like i could see the red in his eyes as his were burning holes through my skull.

Then his grip moved lower to my neck, grasped it softly, not enough for it to bruise but enough to give me a warning. “You have no idea how much i want to put a nice collar on your neck, and bend you over this desk right now.” He whispered roughly, his other fingers trailed against my lips side to side.

I opened my mouth so he can pushed them in, letting me suckle on them as he chuckled “We’ll talk first, we have a lot to talk about. But since you’re pretty adamant on teasing my like this, if you agree to be mine later after we establish how this is going to work— best believe i’m going to ruin you.” My knees buckled at his proposition, Doesn’t he realized that i’m already his? He owns me the moment i let him open me up inside out.

“Bribing me already Dr.Reid?”

“Oh baby, i’ll make sure you’ll earn your lesson.”

—————

You moaned the second you tasted that sinful french toast, god isn’t Spencer supposed to be terrible at cooking? then how come this tastes like literal heaven? the perfectness oozes out of this fine looking toast dripping with hon—

“You’re really testing me now, Y/N.” He intertwined his fingers around each other before putting them in front of him, the manner suggest proper intimidation, clearly it worked for you. You replied with a whisper “Sorry sir, it’s really good.”

“Before we start to discuss our relationship, i’ll allow you to ask me questions about anything and everything that’s been going on. You gave me closure yesterday, and i shall give you closure too.” You kept eye contact as you wonder what to ask, which one of the thousands of questions in-your head that you were going to ask.

“Y/N?”

“How um how’d you find out about me? my past?” You nervously asked, this is something important to you, if Spencer truly found out then sooner or later you’ll have to face the consequences of everyone finding out too, probably even deeper than what’s Spencer been digging.

“I had my suspicions for awhile, when you first joined, you looked way too trained to be 25. No one is that trained unless they have basic skillset, everyone were suspicious too but decided to not question anything. But like i said,” His eyes were sharp, and you can feel the goosebumps rises at the sound of his tone. God he always managed to make you nervous.

“You intrigued me. So i did some digging of my own, asked Garcia to hand me your file, to my surprise before the age of 14 Y/N Bones never existed, Your surrogate father is smart, but he still leaves crumb Y/N. I’m just surprised the bureau didn’t question it when you joined,” He paused as he clench and unclench his jaw, the sight alone made me squirm in my seat, i’m not sure if i’m even listening at this point.

“So i searched deeper, even asked one of my friends Elle to do a deep background search about you so that it’s not someone on the team, and we both found out that you.. breezed your way through the psych eval that you have an astounding result. Your records are squeaky clean yet, there are pictures of you when you were 17 so we generate how you might’ve looked like when you were 10 to 15 years old and then we found...”

“The missing kid from a mob murder house in Italy, last seen by the chauffeur that was killed moments after he talked to the police, the poor guy was new— he never been briefed on what happened when something like that occurred.” You finished his statement as you looked down, your eyes closed momentarily as you tried to process that this man knows everything about you and now your secrets will be revealed to the world.

“Y/N, listen to me,” You’re that good at controlling your face whenever someone confronted you, thats why you’re able to breezed through your basic psych eval like a magnet. “Let me see you, not the walls you’ve put up.” Then when he said that, you felt like you never really knew yourself, all these years, you’ve put up a persona that was strong enough to handle everything even if you chipped away apart of your psyche every time something traumatic happened.

“This is me, Spence.. It’s who i want to be..”

“No, it’s killing you. All your life you’ve been directed, told what to do, controlled. But then you gained some sort of control when you finally was able to get free from your surrogate father, yet you don’t like it right out of the start so you keep up because that’s what kept you survive, get you inside the bureau so you won’t legally be touched once your father died, am i correct?”

“Yes.”

“That’s why you tried everything to give up control again, you joined the club right?” That made you red in an instant, How the hell did he managed to know so much about you? you’ve tried your damn hardest to be discreet about it, event as far as going to the club thats far from where you lived.

“I-I, Spencer this is too much information..” You trailed as you bit your lips at the thought of him knowing the inside and out of you like you’re one of his book, part of you were glad that you don’t have to keep everything to yourself anymore, that you don’t have to worry about control— you want to relinquish control, and he’s the only one that has made you feel comfortable when you give him all of you, and you don’t want it to stop. But you two are coworkers, FBI agents in the same field nonetheless there’s no way Hotch would agree to anything you propose.

“I know it is, Y/N. But you don’t have to go through it all alone now okay? i’m here, i know and thats good.”

“What do i have to do? Tell Hotch the truth about my past?” You chewed your lower lips as you think about all the possibilities that could happen, one being the most obvious which includes you being investigated and then fired. Or there’s one where the FBI would uncover Mr.Bones’s ties to Italian mob, which means you put all of them in danger. Then there’s one—

“Stop it, stop thinking for a second, and stop biting your goddamn lips, i swear.” He took you by surprise as he went over to your side and place you on top of the table in front of him before sitting down on your seat himself. “I-I’m sorry, i just.. don’t know what to do.. i don’t want to resign or get fired, i love this job, you’re all my family.”

He took my hand in his, and hold it tight before pressing a kiss on each fingertips, “You’re way too valuable of an agent to get fired and Hotch knows that, love. The worst thing that can happen is they’ll investigate and you’ll be forced to tell them what happened and how it went from there. Y/N you have no absolute ties with them, you were a victim.”

“You don’t know how powerful they are, the reason why i wanted to be apart of this job is to go after them Spence, and i’m getting nowhere close to even find any trace of them.”

“As much of a genius as you are, combining 8 heads instead of one will have a different outcome.” He joked, which makes you chuckled as you sighed and nods “Can i think about it first?”

“Of course, but do know that they’ll find out whether you tell them or not. And it’s better if it’s coming from you, not genius detective work of Garcia.” He sternly remind you, as you nod, and smile at him, muttering a small “okay..”

“Now, do you have any other question?” He pulled you closer, his hand practically grasping your bum cheeks, making you blush. “I-um..” you stopped as the words you were about to let out got stuck on your throat.

“Y/N, when you’re being asked, speak up clearly.” He scolds, which made your heart twisting in an uncomfortable way, showing how much you hate it when he gets disappointed at you. “I’m sorry, it’s just.. um— how did you know so much aboutsubmissionanddominance?” You rushed the last bit as you close your eyes in embarrassment, He made you feel so timid.

“What was that, baby? Didn’t quite hear the last bit?” He muses with a wonderful smirk formed on his ridiculously handsome face which makes you want to roll your eyes but decided otherwise since you don’t wanna get punishment this early.

“Submission and Dominance, Sir.” He play his game, and so you will play yours, only fair right? oh he thought so, his lips quirked in amusement before chuckling,

“How do you think i found out about that club you joined hm?” Your brows furrowed in confusion as you try to click things inside your head before you came to a realization...

“Spencer... are you— are you?”

He’s a goddamn member isn’t he?

“3 years, Princess.”

You’re fucked, Once again.

————//————

TBC! i know it’s short, like i said it’s only a filler chapter, since i have plenty of blurbs req, i’ll prioritize them first. So if you sent your reqs already, please be patient, they’re all coming soon!

tell me what you think on comment or send me a message, Tag list is open just let me know if you want in! thank you!

( @blancastans @spencerwaltergubler @slutforthegubes @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @babybloomer @liaabsurd @midnightsubmissives @addie5264 @maybankslut @secretpickleprofessordean )

[krreader]

on the same page.

pairing: min yoongi x kim taehyung x reader fandom: bts warnings: sex ; threesome ; oral sex ; dirty talk ; spanking ; dom!tae&yoongi x sub!reader ; language genre: smut word count: 1.8k+

summary: sometimes a look is all it takes for things to be set in motion.

a/n: haven’t posted a threesome fic in a while so why not today, please enjoy this piece of pure smut! 

The topic had come up again and again, only that at first it had been something you had said as a joke. Like haha, imagine how funny it would be if I slept with one of your band members, only for Yoongi to say that he wouldn't watch, but join in.

And it continued on from there.

Jokes, hints and teasing, until the topic actually became a serious one.

“I'd like to try.. just once,” you had said one night, Yoongi's arm around you as his fingers brushed over your waist.

“If only so I can prove to you that I'm the best in this group when it comes to sex,” Yoongi had joked.

And that's how it all started.

You had began to evaluate who would be the best candidate for this thing.

Jin was the one where Yoongi didn't even dare to ask, maybe because he was older than him and was afraid that this topic would be 'disrespectful' to him, but Jin didn't really strike you as the kind of guy that wanted to have a threesome with you anyways.

Then there was Hoseok, one that you both would have asked in a heartbeat, if it weren't for him having started dating only a month ago. Same reason as to why you didn't ask Jeongguk, he also recently got a girlfriend.

Then there were only three, Jimin, Namjoon and Taehyung.

But before you two could even decide on who to ask, it seemed as if it developed naturally.

You and Yoongi had decided to go out to eat tonight, you not having many chances to doll up these days, since you and him mostly had dinner at either his or your place, had decided to put in maximum effort to look absolutely flawless.

And when you walked into the living room, still putting on your jewelry, Yoongi saw the way Taehyung looked you up and down. He saw the way he licked his lips and let his eyes linger on certain body parts of yours. He saw how he started shifting in his seat, only to instantly stop doing that when he realized Yoongi was watching him.

But instead of a warning look, like he expected he'd get from him, Yoongi actually smirked at him.

The younger member thought this might be a trick at first, that Yoongi was trying to get him to be comfortable and do something that he'd regret later, but when he ended up mouthing: “She looks so good,” hoping that it comes across as an innocent compliment, Yoongi started chuckling.

Very, very darkly and very very intimidatingly.

“Did we miss something or why are they looking at each other like that?” Namjoon asked, walking out of the kitchen with his coffee.

“We should leave them to it,” Jimin said as he got up from the floor, “I'm headed out for dance practice.”

“Yeah, I’m going to the studio too. Taehyung,” Namjoon said, waiting for Tae to look at him, “When Yoongi hyung leaves you're the only one at the apartment, so don't forget to look the door.”

“Yes mom,” Taehyung grinned widely.

And it was only when both of them were out of the apartment, that you let out a sigh and dropped your bag, “You made your choice, didn't you? There won't be dinner tonight.”

“There will be.. just not the kind you had in mind,” Yoongi first looked at you, then at Taehyung, “The other members won't find out about this.. agreed?”

“I really didn’t expect my night to go like this, but I can’t say I’m complaining,” Taehyung was already undressing you with his eyes, probably already imagining what you looked like naked and beneath him.

Quite honestly, out of the three, you had wanted Taehyung the most, so you couldn't exactly say you were mad that it ended up being him who pushed you onto Yoongi's bed while your boyfriend watched with crossed arms and him licking his lips. You couldn't say that you hated it when Taehyung’s lips left a wet trail of kisses along your neck and his fingers managed to unzip and then pull down your dress and simultaneously, your panties. And you definitely couldn't say that you despised it when he started eating you out, while Yoongi unzipped his pants and took a step closer to the bed for you to wrap your hand around his hard dick and smile to yourself at how good you felt in that moment.

“Do you know how long I wanted to do this,” Taehyung chuckled against your thigh, then sucked on your clit which made you arch your back and tighten your hand around your boyfriend's dick, Yoongi sucking in a breath, “How often I heard Yoongi hyung fuck you and how often I wanted to be the one to please you.”

Yoongi chuckled, but quickly let out a moan when you got up on your elbows and took his dick in your mouth, his eyes closing and his head falling back, “Just how many times did you get off on that thought, Taehyungie?”

“I won't tell,” he chuckled, getting up but just for a moment so he could get himself a condom, undressing himself in the process. Only when he wrapped his dick with the condom did he say: “But after tonight, I'll always think about your warm and sweet pussy,” and with that he entered you and you couldn't help but let out a scream.

Because fuck.. his dick was so not what you were used to.

Yoongi was thick, to the point that he always stretched you out so much that you needed a moment to adjust to the size, whereas Taehyung was slim and long and instantly hit a point within you that made you see stars.

“Ah, I forgot to tell you, baby girl,” Yoongi joined you both the bed as well after he took off his pants, sitting behind your head so that you could easily slip his dick back into your mouth, “Taehyung is going to make you come real fast.”

Yoongi prided himself with pleasing you well, he could make you orgasm in less than five minutes too if he wanted to, despite his dick not having the same length as that of other members, specifically Taehyung. But he wasn't stupid, he knew that Taehyung had qualities that made you orgasm soon and hard.. and maybe that's even why he ended up choosing him. Because he didn't just want this to be any experiment, he wanted it to be one that you'd truly enjoy.

You had a hard and stressful week, you deserved to be treated like this.

And so you moaned, then whined with your lips still wrapped around Yoongi's hard dick as Taehyung spread your legs further apart and fucked you without mercy.

No, he didn't need to drag this out and no, he couldn't drag it out even if he wanted to, because you felt so good wrapped around him like this and you were taking him so well, that he had no other choice but to chase his height.

On top of that, the way your breasts bounced and the way his hyung's dick disappeared so deeply in your mouth and the way that his hyung moaned because of that made him want to go even faster, he wanted all parties to enjoy this.

With you deep throating Yoongi at this point, he knew that he wouldn't last long either, your tongue and mouth feeling so good that he couldn't wait to cum, the image alone of you swallowing all of it making him moan out loud.

And he wouldn't even have asked to switch positions in any way or form because of how well you were pleasuring him, but Taehyung had a pretty clear idea of what he wanted and so he pulled out and slapped two of his fingers onto your clit, making you scream out loud once again, “Turn around for me, princess.”

Yoongi just chuckled when you looked at him with big eyes, “You heard him, baby girl, better do what he says.”

And see, being dominated by one person was good and all, but being dominated by two was just a feeling that you couldn't even describe.

The way Taehyung grabbed your hips and pulled them towards him once you had turned around and the way he slapped your ass cheek before burying himself inside of you again. The way that Yoongi grabbed a fistful of your hair and made you look up at him, kiss you deeply, before he gave himself a few pumps and then pretty much fucked your face, that was an experience you would never ever forget and one that you would get you wet whenever you’d think about it.

With this new angle, it took only a few more minutes before you could feel your walls beginning to clench and your clit beginning to throb.

Taehyung's thrusts were getting faster, but not any less sloppy, he still managed to hit places within you that made you wish this feeling would last forever.

And Yoongi was simply enjoying not having to do anything today except for pull on your hair every once in a while when he wanted you to take him deeper.

That was the kind of sex he really loved.

And when Taehyung's moans began to become louder and he pushed so hard inside of you that your eyes widened, your moans nearly turned into screams if it wasn't for Yoongi's dick inside your mouth and tears began to pool in your eyes, you knew that your body would give up at any second.

Thankfully with you hollowing your cheeks like that, Yoongi came nearly at the same time as Taehyung did, slowly and in the most relaxing manner ever did he push inside your mouth a few more times before he pulled out and grabbed your chin to make you look at him, wiping at the corners of your mouth with his thumb and smiling when you gulped it all down, “Are you okay?” he asked softly, his entire demeanor changing from dominating daddy to sweet and caring angel.

But what surprised you was that it wasn't just him who changed.

“Don't move, I'll be right back!” Taehyung pulled out as quickly as he entered and returned only a few moments later with a wet, lukewarm towel that he used to gently clean you with, before Yoongi helped you sit up.

“Go to the bathroom, I'll prepare the bed for you.”

You were so tired that you didn't even fully realize just how caring they both were all of a sudden, if you had, you would have appreciated the moment a lot more then and there. 

But you would do tomorrow for sure, when your mind was clearer and you were able to think straight.

And while you went to the toilet and quickly showered, Taehyung and Yoongi prepared the bed for you, both men incredibly well-spent and happy.

“Thanks for letting me be a part of this hyung..”

“Thank you for taking such good care of my girl. I knew I could count on you,” he grinned, his hand on Taehyung's shoulder, “Who knows.. maybe this can be a thing every now and then.”

“You know I wouldn't complain,” Taehyung sighed dreamily, “Her pussy tastes so good, hyung. I’m so jealous you get to taste her whenever you want to.”

“What can I say,” Yoongi pulled the blanket back with a proud smile, “I hit the jackpot with her.”

[funkymbtifiction]

Thank you for the link to a podcast on enneagram 8! It was a bit hard to listen because looks like the quality of the recording is not so good + English is not my native language, but I did it, whoo-ah. After listening to this I think that I resonate with 8 more than with 6 (but I am also pretty sure in not being sx 8, more likely sp/so or so/sp), but I have some thoughts, both related to the podcast directly and not so much, and I want to ask you about this parts.

1) The 8s participated in this podcast were talking much about their awareness of the emotional state of the people around them, like they feel people's energy with their body and read their body language with ease. And I resonate and do not resonate with it at the same time. I really feel like I have an extra sensory system that allows me to sense unique "vibes" of people - their dress style, their manners of moving and speaking and some other details makes a quite solid energy pattern, but it's more of analyzing the personality and image at the whole, not particular moods and thoughts. I can sense a potential personality of the person, and also I can sense that something is wrong if the vibes have changed heavily, but I am very bad in recognizing particular moods and working with this information, often missing the emotional atmosphere right here and now. Looks like I have the same ability to feel people's energy, but don't have the same level of empathy and emotional intelligence as the people from the podcast. Can it be covered by the fact that I am an ENTP, because as far as I know low empathy is a common struggle for ENTP?

It could be, yeah. Also, it may be those 8s all had Se in their stack. I know Emika is an ESTP. Se helps with tuning in and feeling people on an impacting level. Ne is working with abstract tangibles, not raw data.

2) Also, not directly related to the podcast but somewhat connected to the energy sensitivity stuff. YouTube have recommended me a video with funny horses, and I got very cp6 vibes from these animals. Horses really look a lot like cp6 reactiveness for me - most of the time they look like super confident, strong and even slightly show-offish in some cases, but being herbivores, they are secretively very anxious and alert, and many horses react on unexpected stuff in a "no-no-no, f**k this sh*t, I am out!" manner, even if the reasons for them being scared is absolutely stupid. And it makes me feel more like 8 over 6, because I don't resonate with this horses' trait at all, and at the same time, when discussing "what animal are you most like?" stuff with my friends for fun, I have mostly been compared with bears, orcas, honey badgers and big birds of prey like grey owls and eagles - my friends often claim that I am observant to an edge of being a wallflower when tired/bored, but also highly playful and positive in a good mood, and at the same time I definitely would be ready to kick asses if I would need to. I am also a fan of the 'His Dark Materials' books and a part of the fandom sub-community which uses the concept of daemons from this books as a personality typing system, and a few weeks ago I have finally choosen a sea eagle for my daemon. To you opinion, would horses for cp6 and other mentioned animals for 8 be valid comparisons?

Uh. I guess? I mean... I know a cp6 cat and an 8 cat, and the 8 cat beats the shit out of other cats and then attacks any human that tries to intervene, whereas the cp6 cat acts like an 8 but it’s all “bluffing” and she will hide in her house for three days after she’s had a scare. So... there’s that. LOL IMO, it’s best to compare yourself with humans. ;)

3) Also about personal energy. There were a discussion of the fact that 8's have a tendency to carry a lot of energy which is sometimes even too much. But is it possible for a 8, who have been desintegrated for a long time, to feel like their inner "energy generator" is somewhat like broken? I can remember having this high energy in childhood and partly in high school (I had two detached periods of clear desintegration in my life), but now I feel like my inner generator needs to be heavily repaired before it would work in it's normal mode again, and now it's only capable on either working much less effectively than usually, or give burst of energy until it would crack and stop working for some time. Plus, it has never been high energy in terms of "I can be constantly busy and do 100500 things at a time" as some of my friends are, it's more like being highly endurant, "if I wish I can go the whole equator on foot and you better just deal with it", but also not being quick to react.

Think about your type and what stimulates you. You are a Ne-dom, not a Se-dom or a Fe-dom or a Te-dom. What stimulates a Ne-dom? A constant influx of abstract sensations, new ideas, and discussion of intangibles. How much of this do you regularly get in the outside world? Not much. Si inferior: navigating the sensory world, holding sensory discussions, and going places, doing things, is exhausting since... it’s an inferior function. Make sense? Ne-doms are “high brain energy” not “high body energy.”

4) [no real question]

5) Related to the influence and being the boss stuff. Is it normal for a 8 to not want being in charge, preferring freedom and control of their own life and only their own, combined with heavy "justice fighter" instinct? As I already said in my previous ask, I am not ambitious. I have some goals that require hard work, but I am not going to be a boss of any sort. All this administrative stuff, bureaucracy, paper work, negotiations... It's all so boring!

And there you’ve head-butted up against the fact that 90% of 8s are Te-doms. And what are Te-doms anyway? Workaholics. What do Te-doms want, regardless of being 8 or something else? Competency in the workplace. How do they get it? By being the boss. Etc. Can still be an 8 and an ENTP and lacking Te, you wouldn’t likely want the “boring” responsibility of being the boss and pushing papers all day long.

Or you could be a 7w8 who is over-identifying with their 8 wing who really just wants FREEDOM.