#whereas for bonnie i don't think it's as much about The Dynamic as it is them trying to project maturity but not having the nuance down yet

[gemsalive]

by this i mean: so much of bonnie's experience during the events of isat, and really the preteen experience in general, is about that intense craving to be taken seriously and perceived from the outside as just as grown-up as they are just beginning to feel on the inside.

and when you’re a preteen, one of the things you learn is that real proper grown-ups don’t run around wearing their hearts on their sleeve and saying exactly what they mean, the way kids do. (and ESPECIALLY not the ones that bonnie hangs out with lmao.)

(much like the cut-in i'm throwing in here to break up my text, this post ran away from me, but thoughts on growing up, pushing away childhood, and learned disconnect/distance continue under the cut. with a warning for act 3+ spoilers for additional images used!)

okay, so here we are with a bonnie who's starting to become aware of how they're growing into themself, but at the same time they are still so little. old enough to know what they've left behind, sure, but young enough that they don’t know yet where they're going; just that it’s so so frustrating when they're persistently perceived as nothing more than the same helpless little kid. can't people see you're moving towards bigger things? urgh, it's so annoying!! you want to be there now!!

so in the classic tradition of preteens who are feeling perhaps a bit too small for their circumstances but certainly too big for their boots, they overcorrect and swing all the way into applying that grown-up filter to anything — especially that which is genuine, and uncomplicated, and fun for the sake of fun (like puns!!).

which is to say: all the things that they have learned to associate with what ‘being a child’ is about.

this equals the lesson that if you want to be taken seriously, it isn't Cool to care; or at least, to openly show the full extent to which you care/experience heartfelt whimsy and joy/whatever.

so you tamp down your instincts! put on airs of being aloof and unaffected by the things that matter most! or if you're little bonnie, who hasn't yet learned to fully hide that instinct to react when something like a silly joke sparks big feelings (which, remember, reacting is for dumb immature babies), then you cover it up by going the other direction and hitting it!!!! shouting at it!!!! denouncing it with everything you have!!!!!!

(plus, there's also that like. okay. obviously bonnie loves siffrin and isabeau, but they practically idolize resident bonnie-whisperer odile. odile's the cool mature one, and if she doesn't laugh at siffrin's puns, then obviously they shouldn't either! pleaaase that's just a kid practicing imitation as the highest form of adoration come ONNN)

so. thank goodness, then, that we have that moment at the third floor door where bonnie's guard comes down long enough for us to catch a glimpse of their true unfiltered reaction. in their relief to realize siffrin isn't mad at them, we get to watch them forget for a moment they're supposed to be performing anger, and allow that joy to slip through. and i think it's just so so important and sweet.

anyway, none of this i necessarily present as some great big angsty Thing. it's just... how preteens are. across all walks of life, as a preteen you unlearn how to be genuine.

fortunately, in the right settings with the right people surrounding you, you can spend the rest of your life learning it again.

all of which is to say: everyone gets a turn on the Relearning Emotional Honesty after the events of isat, tyvm!! you can pry the bonnie who, a few years post-canon, has mellowed out enough to even join in on sif and isa's pun parties when they happen (much to odile and mirabelle's chagrin, perhaps, though i'm not entirely convinced they really hate it either but i'll save that for the tags) out of my cold dead hands <3

okay i have no idea where on the scale of Hot Take to Restating The Obvious this falls, but i remain entirely convinced that bonnie has never actually hated puns.

of course it’s a fun trait to play up for comedic effect sometimes, but the moment i saw them let out that unguarded little laugh at siffrin’s goof at the third floor door before catching themself and remembering to correct back into The Rage (TM) the possibility that said rage could be genuine pretty much instantly wiped itself from my mind. like ohh okay that is a preteen doing the classic preteen thing of overperforming an opposite emotion to hide how much they care, got it 👍

[kmze]

Be it Klefanoline or Sterowood, either or both would have been much better than that triangle of doom but for some reason that I can never comprehend, julie wouldn't let any other character or their dynamics shine over Damon,Elena and their "vomit-inducing love story".I don't know if it was her obsession with Damon or it was the network or Nian factor or 15 year old twitter warriors or what it was but this show had the potential to be different instead ended up delivering chin-kiss.

Word Anon, I don't even know what the reason was I think it was a combination of a few things, I think the Network didn't want them to let it completely go because that was the premise of the show. I think JP and KW didn't want to let it go (moreso KW though) and I think that's why there was just bait for SE in S6-8 to keep those shippers delusions. JP pretty much took over in S4 completely and that's when SC started getting foreshadowed and Stefan was removed from the triangle more. The scene in 4x15 stood out to me with the trio where Elena and Damon keep walking together and he stands back and ends up separated from them. I also think JP was way more susceptible to online feedback and especially the obsession fans had with Damon/Ian whereas she needed to ignore it.

Honestly JP should have listened to Nina more about why she wanted to end Elena's story after S6 because I think Nina was more clear-sighted about Elena's journey. Nina wanted Elena's story to end and it probably should have, not saying she should have died but she should have been freed from the supernatural world once she took the cure again. I think JP and KW were actually on point with their original premise of the Salvatores dying and watching over Elena from the other side because they both were bad for her! They should have compelled her and had her transfer to a different school on the other other side of the country so she could actually live her life in peace. Then S7&8 could have focused more on Defan outside of Elena (and if were being honest how much Katherine fucked them both up) and having Lily would have helped do that.

The thing I felt with Elena is unlike Caroline and Bonnie who both embraced their supernatural powers Elena faltered badly. Mostly because Caroline embraced the strength and confidence that came with her vampirism whereas Elena couldn't. Bonnie as well when they actually let her keep her powers loved being a witch and as she became less self sacrifice-y she became more open to bending her morality to survive in this world. It's also frustrating that in S6 the writers gave Caroline and Bonnie big character arcs and each one of them had a Salvatore following their lead so it's like they knew it could work and then just refused to do that again in S7. I mean I know some of that is because Candice was pregnant and she couldn't do stunts but what about Kat? They could have re-negotiated her contract and gave her more episodes and they could have not had Damon basically handcuffed to a coffin all season.

Feels like we'll never know the real answer, I also think in general they didn't realize that a love triangle can only be a premise for so long because how many times are you going to brother swap before it's just laughable.

[whateven333]

The weird moral panic this ship inspires in people never ceases to perplex me.

Not even taking into account tvd's other ships, there are many other examples in other fandoms/ media of ships with dark(er) dynamics similar to Bonkai.

One example being Villaneve (show- 'Killing Eve'), which is one of my favourite ships -who imo have a similar sort of dynamic to bonkai, however, whenever I'm in spaces discussing that show or looking at edits or whatever- I never come across comments of people bringing up moral dilemmas about supporting the ship -people seem to understand that they're a fictional couple, the story is about an assassin and the intelligence agent that's investigating her developing a twisted obsession with each other, it gets pretty violent -but no one in the fandom (as far as I've seen) feels the need to bring up concerns about the ethicacy of the ship lol

Whereas, if I were to try and watch bonkai edits on tiktok for example, the comments of those videos would be filled with people talking about how it's an "abusive" ship and marvelling at "how anyone could possibly want such a ship for sweet, InNocEnt Bonnie", stating that Kai stabbed her -(as if we don't know that or somehow forgot it ?? Lmao, not to mention that Bonnie also killed him with an axe lol) with not a single consideration about how they were enemies in a show about vampires, where people killed other people all the time. That's the whole point of the show. People don't watch something called 'The Vampire Diaries' to watch a show about well-adjusted humans who do nothing wrong and live perfectly mundane lives, right? Or that's what I thought but apparently some people want that it seems ?

Even the people who are the ones making the edits sometimes put disclaimers stating that they don't condone the actions of the characters -when I was not for even a single second, going to assume that they did lol. And again, -I have not seen this phenomenon as much with other ships with dark dynamics (but that's not to say it doesn't happen with others, as i know it does.) That's like if someone made an edit for 'Dracula' and put a disclaimer saying "guys, just so you know I DO NOT condone becoming an immortal being that drinks the blood of humans."

It may have been Plec but one of the writers had made a statement saying something along the lines of "a show like tvd could not be made nowadays" -I believe this is both true and not true but for different reasons than what the writers were probably implying -(that tvd would be considered "too dark/ problematic" for todays climate). This is not true in the sense that there are shows nowadays, as mentioned earlier in this what has turned out to be an accidental essay, -e.g., 'Killing Eve', 'Interview with the Vampire', where dark themes/ dynamics are shown and are well received by their audiences. What sets these shows apart from tvd is that they write those themes/ dynamics much better than tvd could ever even hope to have. Tvd was a show that was plagued by poor writing, -plotholes, retcons, underdeveloped characters, I'm sure the list goes on...

And this made me wonder, why is it that the tvd fandom in particular is like this with this particular ship ? I think that "purity culture" is another part of it, but if that's the case how come shows like 'Interview with the Vampire' which is another show with a toxic ship -but this ship however, doesn't seem to illicit the same pearl-clutching ?

But it's also true that a show like tvd would not be acceptable today... but this would be due to the blatant racism and misogyny from the writers/ producers, not because the show would be "too edgy" or whatever the writer who made that comment was thinking lmao (tho that's not to say that these issues are not still present in media, they seem to just be a little less obvious now).

Honestly I think I've gotten so used to the lovely Bonkai fans on Tumblr, that whenever I see them being discussed so negatively on other platforms, It feels kinda jarring 😭 ...and I'm reminded "oh yeahh that's why I don't interact with ship stuff anywhere that's not Tumblr lol"

I always get dragged whenever I mention being a Bonkai shipper on reddit. I dont think there’s any other ship as controversial as it 😣

Makes you wonder what it is about this particular ship that they find so threatening...