#whereas IRL Emil is just a vampire guy and is kinda his own thing seperate from any lore.

[corvid-canidae-art]

I um. I did some research into what the fuck I’ve got going on with me and the guy who’s been in my head since I was 14 (it’s been a long time whew) and oh boy. Wowie. I did research into DID and OSDD to find out if Emil (the guy who lives in my brain basically) is an alter or what any of this means and OSDD (specifically OSDD-1b) sounds exactly like what is going on. So I guess I have that to talk to my therapist about.

Basically: Emil is not me and he lives in my brain and he doesn’t fully front ever but he can move my limbs (mostly hands and arms) if he wants to/if I let him. It’s kind of hard to draw or explain but I tried to do my best w these sketches. It’s like I have control over my head and most of my body but Emil sometimes takes a hand or my arms or just one side of my body. We basically share it. I can feel everything he does but it feels distinctly separate from me. (dissociating.. yay…)

Emil does his best to take care of me and make sure I don’t just drag through life but I genuinely take care of myself which is hard sometimes. I often forget to eat (hyperfocus yippee) and then I’m hungry but too exhausted to make anything, so Emil has to remind me to eat and actually take care of myself ala Senshi dunmeshi. This usually ends in him making me something when I’m too exhausted to do it on my own.