#where's the MANIPULATION? where's the ANGST? i don't know. ask me when i wake up. (or don't.)

[manicpixiefelix]

he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way) // epilogue

{ head, heart, hand. masterpost }

Summary: Oliver is haunted by what he's done to get his happy ending in Felix's arms. His guilt is only made worse when he meets the first member of your family to actually remind him of you. Unfortunately, he does not find it to get better from there.

{ context; please read he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way) first }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons. YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD IN THIS ONE, but you do get to haunt the narrative. congratulations?

Warnings: discussions of death/overdose, lots of guilt, manipulative oliver, felix being upset, vaguely unhealthy oliver/felix, lotsa angst, oliver quick reckoning with the sunk-cost fallacy.

A/N: 6828 words. first, i don't usually do part 2s when i say something is a oneshot, so this is a rare occurrence. secondly im sorry this is almost 7k there's something wrong with my brain i think. thirdly bro, bro, listen to me; ANGST. HURT NO COMFORT. HURT NO COMFORT. it's soft in the middle THE SOFTNESS IS A LIE. ITS GONNA HURT ALL THE WAY DOWN (apart from nana i love her nd i hope you will too)

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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One hour and fifty three minutes.

Rounded up, because all things considered, he should round it up, that's two hours.

Two hours. Like the blink of an eye in the scope of a whole life. But a very long time when you sit and count it out.

One hundred and twenty minutes. Seven thousand, two hundred seconds. He's always counting two hours, seeing exactly how long it feels like, how he can fill that amount of time. Seconds pass like a steady heartbeat.

He can do a lot in two hours.

Oliver tries to occupy himself nowadays more than ever, and really tries not to be alone, but it's hard. Farleigh left for Oxford. Venetia, before she decided to backpack across Europe and find herself, wouldn't let anyone touch her anymore.

Oliver doesn't like leaving Felix alone, but sometimes he has to be. You're laying cold in a family crypt somewhere next to a grandfather you never knew, and while Elspeth and Sir James don't comment on it, they both scowled when your parents sprung the announcement on everyone at the funeral.

Felix spends a lot of time alone at the edge of the maze. He's making a fairy garden where you had waited. Sometimes he'll drive into town without telling anyone, and come back with quaint, second-hand miniatures to add. It's beautiful, shining with greens and golds when the setting sun hits it just right.

So Oliver finds time to occupy himself, when he's alone and all he can think about is you sitting by the maze. You laying by the maze. You alive when he'd run from the maze. And the two hours that followed.

Sometimes he leans out of his window and shouts to the gardeners so far away they look like ants; even at this distance, his voice carries, and he sees them turn, search for him, ask if he's okay. He is, and he apologises, and he think about how far his voice carries.

On occasion, out of the blue, he'll lift Felix up when he hugs him, able to get his feet off the ground as Felix wriggles and clutches him out of surprise. Of course Felix lifts him with ease in return, spins him around, but that's not the point. Oliver is stronger than he looks; he wonders if he could lift you, could carry you far, if he could have dragged you if it had come to it.

Some nights he wakes up in a fright, your rapid heart rate beneath his fingers and he swears he could hear you whispering for help amid your shallow breathing. Please. Pleading. Begging. You were alive when he'd left you. He presses two finger to Felix's pulse point beside him, and tries to calm his breathing, to focus on Felix's slow, steady heartbeat.

And some days he sneaks into the computer room and curses how long webpages take to load when he looks up statistics on overdoses. Symptoms. Niche forums where he can learn what it felt like from survivors. People luckier than you. Their words, their stories, the recollections of those horrifying sensations stick with him, even as he diligently erases any trace of his browsing history.

And he thinks about how fucking long two hours is.

"Nan's coming over later," Felix tells Oliver idly one Sunday afternoon, "we're having tea of you'd like to join us." They're laying out in the grass, Oliver in the grass finding shapes in the clouds, Felix on his side, chewing on the stick of a lollypop he'd finished an hour ago and gently tracing abstract patterns on Oliver's chest.

"I thought you said your granny haunted Saltburn," when Oliver looks at Felix, he still can't help the way his heartrate picks up. Felix Catton touching him in the most gentle, caring way; he'd never stop feeling lucky for getting here, and never forget what he did to earn it.

Felix's gaze moves with his fingertips, up Oliver's warm, bare chest, twisting two fingers in the delicate chain around his throat. He looks pensive; but shakes his head after a beat.

"Different nan," he says distractedly, plastic straw trapped between his teeth. He tugs the chain experimentally, like he's forgotten it's attached to Oliver at all. He's in his head again; Felix is always in his head nowadays, but there's still often echoes of who he was, echoes of what Oliver has fallen for in the first place.

And he's finding himself falling more and more for this version of Felix too. So he tell himself that it was all worth it.

"Love," all these pet names - Love, Darling, Sweetheart - because if he slips up, tries to call him Fi, Oliver knows he'll only get ice in return, "is everything okay?" Oliver carefully reaches up to cover Felix's large, warm hand by his throat with his own. Felix meets his gaze, and gives a faint smile, an attempt to reassure him when he says he's fine. It doesn't work, but Oliver lets it go, and lets Felix tug him in by his chain for a kiss.

"Tea sounds lovely," Oliver murmurs against his lips.

There's something about this visit has Felix alive and buzzing the he way he hasn't in a very long time. Still he's quiet, but his eyes are bright as he follows behind the staff members setting up tea and biscuits in the garden. He goes through all the DVDs the family has and picks out a stack he thinks would be suitable, making sure they're all perfectly stacked by the DVD player. Oliver floats along behind him, and simply allows himself to admire Felix's energy.

Still, Felix finally takes a moment to breathe right as it becomes noon, and decides to have a bath to freshen up before his guest's arrival; two hours before she'd be here, Felix reminds him.

Two hours.

Oliver feels drawn to his own room. He doesn't allow himself to be alone in Saltburn often anymore, doesn't like the thoughts that crop up when he does. Perhaps it's a kind of punishment, a painful reminder, penance for what he's done.

There's a scrap of paper that he keeps tucked in a book in his nightstand, his own handwriting stuffed amongst a collection of Edgar Allan Poe's short stories, words he'd clung to and scribbled out the minute he'd gotten the chance so he'd never forget them exactly.

From the coroner's report, according to Duncan and Sir James. Time of Death; around 2am. Cause; narcotics overdose, and there were signs of alcohol poisoning.

On the back, he'd written '12:07'.

"Mum and dad both say it was a tragic accident," Felix's voice in the dead of night, the night they'd gotten the full report, riddled with guilt and unspilled tears, betrays his disbelief regarding the sentiment. Felix doesn't talk about how his last words to you were shouted with anger. Felix doesn't talk about how your last words to him were a desperate plea for him through tears. Felix doesn't think that it was an accident; only Oliver knows that he's almost right, just not in the way he thinks. Or dreads. But he has to bite his tongue on the truth, and let the man he loves live with this unjust guilt.

The water starts loudly draining for the tub, and Oliver isn't sure how long he's been sitting on the edge of his bed with his eyes squeezed so tightly shut, but he scrambles to stuff the page back into the book, and toss it back into it's drawer. He can smile again, and admire whatever outfit Felix chooses for the rest of the day, and pretend like he doesn't feel your rapid heartbeat or hear your shallow breathing every time he touches that paper, like he had the night he left you.

With the hour drawing ever closer to two, Felix keeps checking his watch. The minute he deems it to be time, he gives up all pretence of small talk - which had been another thing severely lacking as of late - and snatches Oliver's hand, pulling him through the house. They even outstripped Duncan and the footmen by the door when there comes a firm knock. Its the only time Oliver has ever seen any of the Cattons open the doors for themselves.

And it's not Felix's grandmother.

"Hi, nan," Felix sounds so genuinely happy as he hugs the older woman at the door with a warm smile and your eyes.

Oliver feels like he's frozen, like he's seeing a ghost. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Duncan actually standing aside, giving Felix and your grandmother a quietly fond smile.

"I swear you get taller every time I see you, oh, my lovely boy," she says with a warm laugh that sounds so damn familiar, "or maybe I've been shrinking, you get to my age and people tend to do that," and Felix laughs, actually fucking laughs. Oliver realises it's been a long time since he'd heard Felix give a proper laugh like that. As the hug ends, Felix let's her tuck her arm in his as she continues, "just you wait, one day you'll only be six-foot tall." Another laugh, and Oliver can see how genuine and broad he's smiling, how his eyes shine when their gazes meet. She's surprisingly sprightly for her age, it seems. Oliver recognises your grandmother from your funeral, but hadn't made the connection at the time, so he's surprised when Felix goes to introduce him and her eyes sparkle with recognised.

"Nan, I don't know if you've been properly introduced, but this is -"

"Your Darling, Oliver," and it's said with such warmth; her hug feels almost like home, "you strange, little thing," she laughs, "it's called a hug; are you not a hugger? I should have asked," but she doesn't apologise, nor does she let go for a few more beats. Oliver gives into this moment, closes his eyes tightly and hugs her back.

"Our Darling Oliver," Felix echoes with such admiration, and when Oliver opens his eyes, it's the first time since you'd passed where his gaze has held only the love and pride Oliver had been craving since he'd first laid eyes on him.

Once Nana - she'd insisted Oliver call her that too - lets him go, she tucks her arm in his, and is waving Felix over to her other side, briskly asking where tea was to be held. Duncan leads the way and she fawns over him too, apparently downright overflowing with love for Saltburn and everyone and everything in it. She talks more than she doesn't, but considering who Oliver is and who Felix has become, that suits them both just fine.

It's been too long since they've had tea together, she insists, and doesn't talk about why exactly that would be. She doesn't bring you up, not while you were all making your way through the house, but once she's settled outside, she takes a moment. The way she looks at Oliver in this moment makes him queasy; the smile, that look in her eyes, the way her gaze takes all of him in. A woman, whose time is so precious to her, taking her time to make him feel seen. Felix is quiet, intrigued by the exchange.

Your phantom heart beats beneath Oliver's fingertips.

"You're Y/N's grandma," Oliver says quietly, breaking the tension. Present tense still, they all play pretend. She smiles, and finally leans back. The moment is broken; Felix pours them each a cup of tea. Nana takes a jammy dodger and looks over the gardens with a smile.

"Of course, dear," she says sincerely, taking a bite of the biscuit, but being so eager to talk that she spoke through half a mouthful, "and when they were thirteen they told me I was Felix's grandmother too, because they'd overheard Felix's mum talking about how she hoped they'd get married some day." Felix snorted a laugh at that, turning pink around the ears as he prepared everyone's tea, as if on autopilot.

"Does that -" Oliver begins awkwardly, but he tries to smile, "do you think in time, they would have ask the same of you about me?"

"Considering how they spoke about you," there's a twinkle in your Nan's eyes as she turns back to him, smile knowing, "there's absolutely no doubt in my mind, my dear." All you had ever done was love him; love him and stand in the way of the love he desperately craved.

Oliver watches his tea for a long while, spinning the ornate cup on its matching saucer, while your Nana almost immediately picked hers up and took a tentative sip. Watching out of the corner of his eyes, Oliver notes the way her face goes on a journey of emotions, from pleased, to confused, to a sudden realisation as she looks to her cup.

"I should have asked you how you liked your tea," Felix realises too late, apology in his voice as Nana puts her cup down with a forlorn, yet fond look.

"No, darling, it's nice to know you know how my grandchild liked their tea," and she holds her cup delicately, looking into it's warm, brown depths, "just the same as I always made it for both of us when they were much, much younger."

"I am so sorry to ask," Oliver hears himself blurt out, unable to help himself, "but how does all this love just skip a generation?" It comes out far worse than he intends it to; he means to ask how someone so loving as you come from parents so uncaring, yet how did either of those parents turn out the way they did when the woman in front of him was clearly bursting with just as much love as you had been. Thankfully, instead of being offended, your grandmother laughs.

"My daughter is a wonderful, intelligent, compassionate, impressive woman," she begins, but sighs with unmistakable disappointment, "but my late husband was never capable of even trying to be a father over pursuing his own interests, and it's one of the few traits she actually inherited from him," she shook her head, "and she went on to fall in love with a man who loved her but suffered from that exact same defect," after a beat, she looked up with a warm, reassuring smile, "it's why I love Y/N so fiercely, and so hard," her grin turns soft and adoring, looking between the two boys before her, "the only way my daughter has ever disappointed me is as a mother, but I will never be disappointed in Y/N as my grandchild."

Oliver knows there's tears in his eyes, and Felix has ducked his head. Immediately Nan begins apologising, realising she'd set both of them off. Despite this, Oliver tries to wave her away, insisting it's fine, before he asks about her; he's heard bits and pieces he thinks, but Y/N had always been so cagey about their family. Honestly he's surprised that your grandmother knows so much about him when he feels like he's barely heard about her.

Despite turning out to be an incredibly decorated artist, with paintings selling for more than Oliver's pretty sure his own family's house is worth, your Nana is quick to downplay her own successes, simply insisting that it took decades of hard work. Again, he sees you in her eyes.

"We've got a few up around the house," Felix adds, "most of them actually from before we even met Y/N," and your Nana gives him a shove, as if flustered and embarrassed by the idea. But Felix is beaming, happy to be showing off her accomplishments, just as he always took joy in celebrating you; "there's one in your room."

"What?" Oliver asked, and your grandmother also seemed surprised, though touched by the thought.

"It used to be their room, actually, but Ollie moved in there, so Y/N was staying with me," he explains a little awkwardly, wanting to skim around as many implications as he could. Thankfully she doesn't comment. All she asks is which one. Felix and Oliver both think about the room; Felix about the few pieces of art on the walls, Oliver about your time of death in the drawer. You were alive when he left you -

"That one of the stars, and that person smoking; I think you actually gave it to them as a gift," he frowns for a beat, "for when they turned seventeen, I think?"

Oh, Oliver knows that one. It's enchanting, blues so deep, so rich it's like you could swim in them, stars that seemed to actually glow on the canvas, and the hazy, dark outline of the window in the foreground, and part of a figure against the windowsill, lit cigarette the lone spot of fire, of red or orange, that makes everything else warmer for it.

"That one really surprised me actually," Nana admits, giving Felix a shrew smile, though he only seems confused, "did they ever tell you anything about it?"

"Said you painted it for them; pretty sure I remember them crying about it," he says fondly, reminiscing, "one of the best gifts they ever got, I'm not lying, they say it every year. It's beautiful." Then, as if recalling what she'd actually said, he looks at her curiously, "surprised you?"

Her smile widened into something both knowing, and endeared.

"I asked them to send me a photo, a postcard, their very best drawing, anything, as long as it was their favourite place in the world - do you really not recognise it?" The tea and biscuits are gone by now, the tea portion of their afternoon is coming to a close. Felix shook his head, almost looking like a lost child, as if he was aware there was something he was supposed to be understanding but couldn't quite get it, "Felix, my dear boy, they sent me a photo of you; that's their dorm room window from boarding school."

Felix looks winded, and a bit like he's about to cry.

"Oh you two were impossibly sweet," she reaches over and holds his hand tightly, looking over to Oliver earnestly, "you take care of this dear boy and his heart, you hear me?"

"Yes," Oliver all but trips over his words to agree, "of course, nan." And she gives him a pleased grin.

They move indoors after this, Felix quiet but lending his arm to Nana, which she takes, while she explained that usually you and Felix would visit a few times a year when they were on break, but she thought it would be best to come to Saltburn this time, given the circumstances.

"You should come see the place when you get the chance," she insisted, patting Oliver's hand.

"It's mostly where Y/N was raised before they ended up staying at Saltburn," Felix supplied with a grin, piquing Oliver interest.

"Y/N's childhood home? Oh I have to see that," he grins, and your grandmother grins brightly for a long moment.

"I'm sure Y/N would love that, they can give you the grand tour -" but her face falters, falls, as if she'd just remembered. Sombre silence, the spell is broken. "I'd love to have you around, dear," she corrects, much softer this time.

Felix lets her pick a movie, while Oliver settles himself awkwardly on the sofa. He wants to reach out to Felix, to touch his cheek, feel his boyish smile and know that it's real. But Felix isn't really even looking at him. There's something childlike about his enthusiasm here, about how he sits on his knees on the floor, watching with rapt attention as your grandmother pores over them. He practically glows as she praises his choices. When she picks one, she hands it over and he scrambles on all fours across the short floor space to the DVD player, fumbling with the case like he can't put it in fast enough. There's a softness in your grandmother's eyes as she watches the boy who has seemingly forgotten the man he is; when she looks at Oliver, its like he sees her asking how easy is he to adore, what a beautiful young man.

"You don't mind watching a movie do you, Oliver, dear?" She asks, though it's clearly an afterthought. He's already shaking his head, assuring her it's fine. Felix is already scrambling back, remote in hand. Oliver tries to make space for him on the sofa between himself and your Nana, but he seems content to sit on the floor in front of her, leaning back against the sofa with her knees gently pressed against either of his shoulders. Handing her the remote, Felix twists to give Oliver an expectant smile.

"Come here, mate," he insists, patting his lap, his legs kicked out in front of him. At Oliver's obvious confusion, Felix blinks for a few moments. It's like he's waking from a dream. His face falls, he goes to apologise, strained smile on his face, "sorry, I know that's weird, you don't have to -"

Slowly, Oliver moves from the sofa, sitting beside Felix on the floor. Your grandmother's knee is pressed gently to his back, but he's not quite sure if he's capable of relaxing enough in this moment to mind. She's playing with Felix's hair, having already started the movie.

"This is what you and Y/N would do," Oliver said softly, and rested his head on Felix's shoulder. Felix takes his hand, and laces their fingers together.

"Do you like it when people play with your hair, Oliver?" Your grandmother asks idly.

"Um, sometimes," he answers, still feeling rather awkward. He hears her chuckle warmly.

"It's okay if you don't want me to; Felix likes it so much he lets me braid it when it's long like this."

"Oh, I know Felix loves it," Oliver hears himself agree, "if he were a cat he'd be the kind to purr any time someone scratched between his little cat ears." And while both he and your grandmother share a fond laugh, he can hear Felix's smile in his words. He gives Oliver's hand a squeeze.

"I can't even argue; I wish I could purr right now."

Oliver wants to bottle this moment forever, keep it locked tight in his chest.

But the movie is a long one. One hour and fifty six minutes. Two hours rounded up. A whole two hours. Enough time to fall asleep with his head in Felix's lap the way they both said you used to. He wakes with your heartbeat in his ears, rapid, alive, left for dead.

"You okay buddy?" Felix looks at him with genuine love and concern; it's been such a long time since he'd seen that look, even with everything that had been happening, "I'm here, you're okay," he assured. Over by the television, putting the remote back, your grandmother glances over at the interaction with a warmth that makes Oliver feel queasy in this moment.

And he'll look up from the book, from his notes from the coroner's report crammed in, obscuring the end of one story while The Tell-Tale Heart begins on the other. Felix will be getting ready for bed in the other room, but he won't sleep there. He can't sleep there. Can't sleep in that bed without you, can't move the costumes from that night that hang side by side as a reminder of the hole you'd left behind in his life. Oliver will read approximately two am in his own messy handwriting, and look at the digital clock on his bedside that had read 12:07 when he'd crashed into his room and locked the door and sunk down against it. The numbers had been shining red in the darkness. On the wall behind, that starry night sky and the hint of Felix and his cigarette; a home you'll never return to hung up in the home you'll never truly leave.

He put enough coke in that bottle to kill a fucking lion. He'd given you the bottle. He'd told you he loved you. He'd left you like that.

He knew you were dying.

He'd left you alive.

Two hours.

The book snaps shut. In the silence he thinks he hears your breathing. Please, Ollie, help. Paranoia is a cruel thing, he has to tell himself; paranoia and guilt.

"Can I ask you something?" Felix joins him just as he's putting the book back in it's drawer. Oliver, heart beat racing - never as fast as the memory of yours, oh now it's all he can think about again - nods quickly. Felix sits on the end of the bed, clearly preoccupied, fussing with the buttons of his pyjama shirt. The days are getting cooler now; Oliver misses his bare skin against his, but he still feels too precarious to make such an observation.

"It's about Y/N," Felix swallows, can't meet his eyes, "about that night." Oliver feels his mouth go dry; the worst fucking night of his life. The night he doesn't know if he'll ever figure out if he regrets all he'd done.

He nods again.

"Were you the last person they spoke to?" It's like Felix is forcing himself to not shy away from this moment, giving Oliver the attention he thinks he deserves for such an important question. Then, after swallowing hard, he can't help but drop his gaze, "why," he can barely get it out, there's already a lump in his throat, "didn't they come into the maze too?" Oliver can't even give him that.

You'd been such a mess on your way to the maze, even with Oliver supporting you. Crying, furious, apologetic; you were everything at once. Even when you couldn't bring yourself to go in, everything about you had been sliding from one emotion to the next. But then it had stopped.

"I can wait for Fi here." It's the most sure that he'd seen you all night. It's when he knew. It had to be you, even if he loved you too. He'd never forget how clear your smile was, how sincere you'd urged him into the maze to follow the tail of what he thought was right. The sight of you, waiting, obedient and loyal for your master to return; "I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."

Oliver knew before he'd even entered the maze that Felix's return to you would be too late.

In the present, Felix waits too, diligent, expectant. Oliver thinks about lying. Oliver thinks about how the truth will break his heart. Oliver thinks about how close Felix will hold him in his guilt riddled grief.

"I don't think they wanted to interrupt -" Oliver tries to start, but Felix immediately swears, hangs his head.

"Can't fucking believe I did that," he spits, "I was angry, and off my fucking face, sure, but that was fucking low, even for me," he admitted, pitching himself back on the bed, whole face scrunched up with guilt, barking out an upset fuck far louder than the others, prompting to Oliver to tentatively ask what he means. Felix took a moment, as if forcing himself to calm down, before he admits, voice low like he was sharing a secret, "I never even took Eddie into the maze," he sighed. After a beat, he conceded, "no, okay I did, but we didn't do anything - we made out a bit, but -"

"You didn't fuck you ex-boyfriend in the maze," Oliver connected the dots quickly, "but you did fuck your best friend's ex-not-girlfriend who you kind of stole from them, out of spite after kicking them out of your the bed you've been sharing all Summer?"

"Fucking hell, Ollie!" Felix sounds especially wounded when he lays it all out like that.

"Sorry," immediately, Oliver apologises, knot in his stomach when he hears Felix's pained tone. He wonders if this was what it was like for you all through the night of his birthday. Fuck, he can't think about that.

"No, but you're right," Felix admits, eyes finally opening, looking all hurt and vulnerable. Oliver lays himself down next to Felix, going the other way, both of them looking up at the ceiling. Oliver's hands rest on his chest, trying again, softer this time.

"So was a special place to them?" He gets no response other than a guilty nose from Felix, "you think that's why they wanted to wait by the entrance?"

"They wanted to wait for me," Felix says weakly, clearly in his head about that night once more, "didn't want to interrupt even as I was fucking defiling our-" but he catches himself turning bitter again, mouth snapping closed, "after everything I said that night," he mumbles, "fucking hell," he chokes out. The pain in his voice is audible. This is the sweet spot, Oliver thinks.

"I can wait for Fi here," Oliver whispers amid Felix's faint sobs.

"What?"

"You asked me what their last words were," Oliver told him as softly as he could manage; Felix sits up, eyes wide, distraught, so full of guilt and love and - "only thing they were properly coherent about; waiting for you," Oliver props himself up, reaches out to wipe a tear from Felix's cheek.

"You're not- Ollie, please tell me you're not kidding," Felix practically begs.

"I can wait for Fi here," Oliver reiterates, making sure to meet Felix's gaze as he holds his face, "'s the last thing they said- they said; I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."

God he can see it in Felix's eyes; it's like the man's entire world crashes down around him. But he clings just as Oliver had hoped he would. As Felix holds him tightly, Oliver can't look at the glaring, red numbers of the clock on his bedside, the constant reminder of the two hours where he could have done something. Two hours and those wouldn't have been your last words.

He looks at the painting. At the stars. At Felix and his cigarette and your idea of what home looks like. The stars look just like they did that night. Just as bright. Oliver closes his eyes. Guilt twists people into shapes they don't often recognise; Oliver just holds Felix, hopes they twist into something together.

Except Oliver's guilt isn't the kind that twists, it's the kind that bites. It's like moths, eating him from the inside out. The guilt leaves him with jagged edges and thoughts he'd rather not be having; there are shades of Felix Catton that he loves, but shame and revulsion bites just behind the guilt as the months pass and he realises more and more this is not what he wanted. This is not the Felix he wanted.

Felix is like an echo, like the sun without it's warmth; he can look just the same, smile, talk, charm just the same if it was required of him, but there was something clearly missing from every interaction. Guests to Saltburn would pull his parents aside and ask if everything was alright. He is, but he is not the same as he once was.

Every day Oliver looks in the mirror and sees something grotesque behind his eyes that no-one else seems to notice. Felix Catton was meant to be the prize, the one who tossed aside everything but the best, the one who made the world fight for his attention, and feel heartbroken when he merely looked the other way. After all this, Felix Catton was not someone Oliver expected to be bored by.

Oliver Quick had lied for, lied to, betrayed the trust of, worked to gain the trust back of, loved, made fall in love with him, and literally murdered the love of his life who he also loved and was themselves also in love with Oliver while still considering Felix the love of their life, just to get a chance to spend his life by Felix fucking Catton's side. He wasn't allowed to not want this.

Felix smiles at him, says he loves him, fucks him, but it's not the dream Oliver once had. Something is always missing. No. Oliver deliberately took that thing away. But he can never admit that, nor can he ever regret that; too far gone. Oliver doesn't want to talk about the past, Felix can't being himself to talk about the future. Trapped together in the present, living lives that no longer feel like enough. Their routine becomes suffocating. Even Venetia, the few times she's stopped back at Saltburn, can barely manage a disdainful look, as if merely inconvenienced by Oliver's presence.

The growing apathy of the estate and it's occupants is exhausting. The cost of this lifestyle has long since surpassed it's value. He's even bored of being haunted. Two hours feels like fucking nothing when the days drag on the way they have been. Behind his eyelids he doesn't see you begging for help, you hiss for him to run, to get out.

He should have listened.

"Ollie, can I show you something I found?" Felix sounds bright today, and though Oliver wants to roll his eyes at the idea of anything in this house being new or novel enough to show off, he smiles back instead.

"'course Felix, what is it?"

Except Felix isn't smiling at him. Felix is looking far more serious and determined, sitting on the edge of their shared bed. Oliver immediately frowns.

"Have you been hiding something from me, Ollie?" It's a trap; a forced confession. Oliver shakes his head, plays dumb. Felix takes a deep breath, the kind that shifts his whole body, his expression remaining firm, "before I show you this thing, I want you to be honest with me; you promised you wouldn't lie to me anymore, you remember?" Oliver tries to lighten the mood, leaning against the window with a warm smile.

"Of course, my lovely Felix, no more lying," he assures, but the hairs on the back of his neck stand up with the way Felix remains quiet.

"What's seven-past-twelve mean?" Felix is watching him closely; too closely. Scrutinising his every move. It's like Oliver's been doused in ice water, even his tongue frozen in his mouth, "and what's it got to do with what happened on the night of your birthday?"

Felix doesn't even look at the night table as he opens it; his gaze is solely on Oliver. It's clear he'd done this before, pulling out the book, flicking through it's pages, and pulling the delicate, incriminating piece of paper out from where it had been safe for so many months.

"Felix, I-"

"What does twelve-oh-seven mean?"

Oliver is the deer again, trapped in Felix's accusatory gaze. For just a moment, Felix's voice drops, pleading with him for some other explanation, that Oliver wasn't somehow caught up in what happened, more closely, more malevolently than he'd ever said -

"Tell me," there's tears in his eyes, the furious kind, the ones where he's desperate to love and hope against all odds, "Oliver," he pleads through gritted teeth, "tell me you didn't know."

"Know what?" Oliver's voice is a hoarse whisper; he knows he is caught, all he has left now is borrowed time and a desperately silver tongue he doesn't know if he can rely on anymore. But Oliver's tragically weak denial is enough for Felix to all but jump to the right conclusion.

In a rush, Felix has Oliver by the collar of his shirt, pressed to the window -

"You knew they were dying and you fucking left them there."

This is the tipping point, the end of whatever good this had been. Felix could hurt him, Felix had hurt countless people on your behalf, he'd seen it himself. But Felix had always been the bleeding heart; you were the one who had to be kept on a leash. Felix could hurt him, could probably maim him for what Oliver was about to say, but he never shared your stomach for true Machiavellianism.

"Of course I knew," Oliver managed coldly, despite Felix attempting to crush all the air from him, "the amount of coke I gave them in that champagne could have killed a rhino-" it needed to be unforgiveable, the confession, so Felix would let him leave, would never want to see him again. He hadn't expected the force of Felix's rage to have the glass behind him give out.

Oliver falls from the second story window into the hedge garden below. Felix's shouting is tearing through the whole house it seemed, making his way downstairs, while Oliver tries to regain his breath and figure out if anything's broken. He's pretty sure it's not, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt as Felix drags him by his feet from the hedges, demanding at the top of his lungs that Oliver get the fuck out of Saltburn.

Every single person who'd been in the house comes outside to view the commotion, to see Oliver struggling to his feet, to get away from Oliver. Elspeth looks helplessly between the two boys, wondering what happened -

"Tell her what you did," Felix demanded, once more getting into Oliver's space, jabbing at his chest, "tell her what the fuck you just told me -" and Oliver's strength isn't insignificant, but Felix is in a fury, flooded with rage and adrenaline, and he grabs the back of Oliver's shirt like he's scuffing a cat, shoving him towards his mother like an offering. Oliver struggles because he feels like he has to, feels wild, feels feral, but it's the most of anything he's gotten from Felix in so long. His mouth stays shut, won't give him the satisfaction of a confession.

"He killed them," Felix doesn't even let Oliver have his power play before he grows bored. He shoves Oliver just a little, grip unyielding despite Oliver's best efforts, like he means nothing to him. Elspeth and Sir James are confused, looking between them both, but Felix isn't done with stringing Oliver up for all of Saltburn to see, "Y/N; he intentionally dosed their drink and left them to die outside the maze."

The Catton parents immediately look crestfallen; it's the first time in months Oliver's felt genuine guilt again. Oliver stops fighting. Felix lets him go. Elspeth asks him if this is true; that heartbroken hope is going to make him sick.

"Just send me away already," he drops his head.

"Oliver," Elspeth's voice is firmer this time; when he looks up, she's stepping towards him, tears in her eyes despite how hard she's clearly trying to hold herself together, "is Felix telling the truth?" Is this it? Is this the final gate to his freedom from Saltburn.

"Yes."

Elspeth slaps him so hard her ring draws blood. Oliver hadn't thought that was even possible, but his head is ringing from the collision.

"Get. Out." She hisses with absolute malice as he's hunched over, clutching his face. Felix is by his mother's side in a heartbeat, arm around her, looking at Oliver with contempt. Behind them, Sir James is ordering Duncan and the other staff members to get Oliver off of the property as quickly as possible, but the look in Elspeth's eyes is burning, "this is my family, you monster."

At first, it almost feels worth it to leave Saltburn. To leave the Cattons and their bullshit and their games behind. He thinks he knows them well enough to trust that they don't want the kind of scandal a murder on their hands would be, and for the most part, he's right.

It's not the Cattons who haunt him after Saltburn, though they may be pulling the strings. It's you. It's you sitting on Felix's bed in his dorm room reading every single detail of Michael Gavey's file with threats on your tongue. It's the casual way you talked about being able to access his academic files to change his grades if he wanted. It's you, tipsy at Saltburn, admitting that you got Eddie transferred without his consent to a university on the other side of the country after he cheated on Felix with Venetia.

There's no place for Oliver to return to at Oxford... He's not entirely surprised about that, however, there's also apparently no record of him ever attending. Any calls or enquiries he makes are shut down with the kind of immediacy that seemed reserved for shows about government conspiracies. When applications open for other universities, it seems websites shut down the minute he fills out his damn name. Nowhere in the world seems willing to consider him.

Having him audited seems like overkill. When it happens the next year, despite no employer willing to even consider him for an interview, the existential dread of his situation sets in.

Felix never had the stomach to finish the job; he'd let you haunt Oliver forever.

[syerra-637]

𝓨𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻 𝔁 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

Tw : Yandere behavior,toxic relationships, social isolation, emotional manipulation, invasion of privacy Genre: Angst Word count: 795 A/n: I wrote it for fem reader

You are a writer specializing in fanfictions about fictional celebrities, and your Tumblr account is starting to attract attention. Your style is sharp, sometimes dark, with touches of black humor.

One night, Adrian Blackwood, a renowned actor, stumbles upon one of your fanfictions during a bout of insomnia. The precision of your descriptions and the raw emotion in your words captivate him.

Adrian begins to anonymously follow your blog. Each new post becomes an obsession, and he stays up late to read your new stories. He discovers your Twitter and Instagram accounts, following you under fake profiles to keep up with your daily life and intimate thoughts shared online.

Adrian sends you a private message on Tumblr under a pseudonym, complimenting the depth of your writing and the accuracy of your insights. You respond politely, flattered by the attention from this mysterious reader. A regular correspondence begins, brightening your days with his words.

After weeks of correspondence, Adrian reveals his identity in a long, passionate message, confessing how much your words have touched and changed him. You are shocked and incredulous, but also deeply touched that a celebrity of his caliber could be your secret admirer.

Adrian insists on meeting you in person. He sends you an invitation to a VIP event where he knows you can talk privately. At your first meeting, Adrian is even more charismatic in person. His presence is mesmerizing, and you feel immediately drawn to him.

You sit nervously at the reserved table in the chic restaurant, casting furtive glances at the door. Every clink of glasses makes you jump, your heart pounding. When he finally enters, a magnetic aura seems to surround him. Adrian Blackwood, in the flesh, smiles at you with a warmth that melts all your apprehensions. "You are even more lovely in person," he says softly, taking your hand to place a light kiss on it. His deep blue eyes seem to read you, deciphering every emotion with unsettling precision.

Quickly, Adrian begins to show signs of possessiveness. He insists that you disable comments on your posts to "protect you from unnecessary criticism." He calls you several times a day, pretending to be concerned about you. He asks for photos to prove where you are and with whom.

Adrian starts sending expensive gifts to your home: designer clothes, jewelry, and even electronic devices to enhance your comfort. He proposes that you quit your job to dedicate yourself fully to writing, promising to meet all your financial needs.

When you express your concerns about his intrusive behavior, Adrian wraps you in his arms, murmuring reassuring words. "I just want to protect you, my love. No one understands how precious you are to me." His tender gestures and soothing voice make you doubt your own feelings, and you begin to believe that his intense love is normal.

You wake up in an unfamiliar room, the curtains drawn to let in a faint ray of light. Your head spins slightly as you try to recall how you got there. The door opens softly, and Adrian enters with a breakfast tray. "Good morning, my darling," he says with a sweet smile, placing the tray before you. "I found you exhausted last night. I thought you needed to rest." A shiver runs down your spine. "Adrian… I don't remember coming here… " "Don't worry," he murmurs, caressing your cheek. "I'll take care of everything."

Adrian subtly uses his celebrity status to isolate you from your friends and family. He invites you to exclusive events where you are the only person he seems to really see. He convinces you that no one understands you as well as he does and that your creativity will thrive better without outside distractions.

This story can take several directions: you might try to escape from this toxic relationship with the help of loved ones, or you might sink deeper into this unhealthy dependence, unable to break free from Adrian's grip.

You walk quickly down the street, casting worried glances over your shoulder. Every silhouette seems suspicious, every shadow a threat. You have finally decided to flee, to free yourself from Adrian's stifling hold. Suddenly, a firm hand grabs your arm, pulling you into a dark alley. You struggle, but his grip is too strong. "I told you, you can't escape me," Adrian whispers in your ear, his voice soft but menacing. "You belong to me."

Adrian strengthens his hold on you, using his fame to constantly monitor you, even hiring private detectives to follow you. Your world shrinks to him, every decision you make influenced by his obsessive love. You are caught between the allure of his affection and the desperate desire to regain your freedom.

[7ndipity]

When Their Crush Has a Crush

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: In connection with the Secret Crush HCs, how they would react/get jealous to finding out that their crush has feelings for someone(or even another member)

Warnings: angst, swearing

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! We’re back with more of that unrequited angst that y’all apparently love lol! This also kinda reminded me of this jealousy reaction I made awhile back, so there’s that if you want to check those out too!

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin:

Oh, he HATES it. And does not hide it, though he’s giving you five different reasons why he hates it, and none of them are the truth, at least not entirely.

“They don't strike me as the relationship type.” “I think they might be a murderer.” “They’re just not good enough for you.”

Tries to make himself look better in comparison.

But he’s not trying to make a move! Nonono, he would never do that. He just wants you to know what a better option looks like.

Yeah, that’s it.🙄

Yoongi:

Tries to not let it bother him, and by that I mean he’s like “of-course-you-would-find-someone-why-wouldn’t-you?-it’s-not-like-he-ever-told-you-how-he-felt-but-it’s-totally-fine-and-not-haunting-his-every-waking-moment-but-omg-what-if-you-actually-get-with-them-”

Yeah, no, he’s going to majorly overthink the whole situation, like it’s bad.

Would probably withdraw for a bit, but then realizes that he can’t stand the distance and gets kinda clingy.

Which clingy Yoongi is like? A whole different person?

This would probably be one of the few moments that would tip you off about his true feelings.

Hobi:

Tries not to be bothered at first, bc it’s just a crush, it doesn’t mean anything… Right?

Queue him getting in his head and starting to worry about literally everything.

Throws so much side eye though and knit picks whoever's caught your attention, but he can’t quite help it.

Would end up slipping up and saying something about he doesn’t think they’re a good match for you. Which leads to you asking who would be a good match for you then?

And then he either just says idk, or ends up basically describing himself and hoping you don’t notice how desperately he’s trying not to confess right then and there.

Namjoon:

Gets jealous super easily, you already know, though you don’t quite know why.

As I said before, if you so much as even mention being into somebody, he’s pulling back and distancing himself a bit as a kind of defense mechanism.

Or else he tries to avoid being around them or bringing them up in conversation, though he’ll deny that’s what he’s doing if you ask.

Is so fucking passive aggressive about anything relationship related, you end up thinking that he must’ve got dumped or smth and feeling kinda bad for him.

Which ends up triggering this weird sort of truce between you where you just don’t talk about it for a while.

Jimin:

Lowkey panicking inside. Because yeah, hypothetically he wants you to be happy and live your best life, but does it have to be with them? Or anyone?

Would want to try to dissuade your feelings for them a bit, but he doesn’t want to come off as manipulative or disrespectful of your opinion.

“They don’t seem like a good match for you.”

He’s mostly kinda mad at himself, cause if he’d just told you how he felt earlier, he wouldn’t be in this situation.

Would probably start seriously considering actually confessing, cause he cannot stand being in this weird limbo state with you.

Taehyung:

Ngl, he’s so dramatic, even if it’s just a tiny crush, he’s going to be kinda heartbroken, like you might as well have kissed them in front of him.

Okay, maybe it’s not that bad, but you get what I’m saying. He’s not cool with this.

Does not hide his feelings of disdain for whoever’s caught your attention.(they are not passing the vibe check)

Gets hella clingy and wants to be with you constantly, so that you don’t really have time for them? If that even makes sense?

Tries to find things to impress you and get you to take notice of him cause don’t you think he’s nice too? Don’t you think he’d make a good partner too?

Jungkook:

The sulkiest man to ever exist.

He can not stand it, even if it's a purely theoretical situation, like all you said was that you thought some guy was cute, and now he’s imagining all the worst case scenarios where he could lose you to them.

Like Tae, he’d get soo fucking possessive and clingy, trying to prove himself to you, though he might not exactly be sure what he’s trying to prove.

Would actively try to put himself between you and them if at all possible.

As I said before, this would probably be his achilles heel that pushes him over the edge and leads to him confessing, even if he knows it’s the wrong time.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @captainorangegoose @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis

[sammysmaddy]

Normal - FINALE (Winchesters x Reader)

Summary: Growing up as the baby of the Winchester family led you to be constantly guarded. Soon enough, you start to learn what's normal between families and what's not.

Pairing(s): mentions of Sam x Sister!Reader, mentions of Dean x Sister!Reader, mentions of John x Daughter!Reader

Warning(s): Talks of incest, manipulation, coercion, talks of loss of virginity/alluding to other sexual acts, lots of bad stuff, angst... let me know if I missed any.

W/C: 2.7k+

A/N: Owowowowowow. This, as usual, was not how I planned it. I hope you enjoyed reading Normal, it's been in the making for a very long time!

Normal Masterlist

Masterlist

Dean's POV

Dean was worried sick when he came home only to find Sam all by himself. He knew that wherever Y/N was, it wasn't good and he grew nauseous at the thought of anything happening to her.

Immediately, Dean began to blame himself. He was the one who pushed Y/N away, he the first to come on to her, and most importantly, he was the one who left her when she needed him most.

It didn't matter to Dean if Y/N ran away on her own accord or if John had manipulated her into going somewhere with him, he just knew that he needed her back as quickly as he could get her.

Dean spent hours calling Y/N's phone and texting John. Eventually, he chose to wake Sam who was just as scared for Y/N as Dean was.

When the clock struck three and John burst through the door, Sam and Dean immediately stood up uneasily from the breakfast table.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Dean raised his voice, unable to contain his anger.

Dean walked toward his father, Sam following suit, ready to nearly kill him.

"What have you done, Dean?" John asked in return, his voice low and guttural, smelling of straight whiskey.

"What have you done, Dad?!" Dean yelled in return, grabbing fistfuls of John's jacket.

Instantaneously, John pushed Dean back with incredible force, causing Dean to stumble into Sam.

"Where's Y/N?" Sam stepped in as he helped' Dean reorient himself.

"None of your fucking business, that's where!" John yelled, looking back and forth between either brother. "What the fuck did you tell her?!"

"Nothing she shouldn't know! How could you do that to your own daughter? Huh?" Dean began to walk up to John again.

"I'd watch your fucking step if I were you, son," John growled in a deep voice, pointing a shaking finger at Dean.

"Dean, don't," Sam warned, causing Dean to stop in his tracks and look back at his brother.

"And why shouldn't I?" Dean screamed at Sam. "After all he's done to her, how can you sit there like that?!"

"Hey, man, I don't like it either. But come on, be smart about it. He's the only one who knows where Y/N is." Sam reasoned.

"Where is she?" Dean turned back to his father, speaking through grit teeth.

"Wouldn't you like to fuckin' know," John let out a menacing chuckle, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

When Dean made an intimidating move toward John, John placed his hands out in front of him.

"Woah, woah, woah there," John continued to chuckle as if he were mocking Dean. "She's somewhere safe. Sure she needed rest after creaming on my cock so many times."

"What the fuck did you just say?" Dean grit through his teeth, his heart dropping into his stomach.

"Dean, he's clearly lying," Sam tried to calm Dean, but his methods barely had an effect on Dean's mood.

"Why would I lie?" John asked, clearly knowing how to upset his sons.

"I swear to fucking God if you put your hands on her-" Dean stomped toward John, only to be pulled back by Sam.

"Good boy, Sam," John threw a wink toward his youngest son.

"Shut up," Sam bit back as he struggled to keep Dean in place.

"Don't act like you boys are perfect either. Must be a family thing," John took a seat on the edge of the bed, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and lighting one. "You know, she told me all about you," John muttered through puffs.

Dean felt his face flush as he stopped fighting Sam from holding him in place.

"I don't look like such a bad guy, now do I?" John taunted his boys. "With Sam, I can understand. How could you resist that sexy little body of hers? But you, Dean? You're just like me."

"Don't you dare say that," Dean scolded under his breath, too angry to look his father in the eye.

"I mean, really? Using Y/N's body while she was unconscious is another kind of messed up. At least I didn't drug the poor girl." John smiled as he blew out cigarette smoke.

"Dean?" Sam took a step back, letting go of his hold on his big brother. "What is he talking about?"

"Don't listen to him, Sammy. He is the one who caused all of this to happen!" Dean felt as though the world were crumbling around him as he turned back to his younger brother.

Dean knew what he did was messed up. He knew that Sam would never approve. But, Dean also knew who the number one enemy was and he couldn't afford Sam taking John's side over his.

"You drugged and raped our sister?!" Sam was now the one raising his voice as his jaw clenched.

"Now, now, Sam. I didn't say all that," John held his hand out. "But your big brother did pleasure himself over your poor, sweet little sister months ago. Who knows what else he's done to her? Especially after that two-week trip you and I took."

"Dean?" Sam let out an exasperated sigh. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't do that."

Dean remained silent, fighting internally whether or not he should tell Sam the truth.

"He did," A feminine voice rang through the air.

All three Winchester men snapped their heads to see Y/N in the doorway.

"How did you get here?" John growled, glaring at Y/N as he balled his fist.

"I walked. We were only across the street," Y/N stated simply, shrugging her shoulders. "And I told you about Dean, Sam, don't you remember?" Y/N helped Sam recall their time in the shower.

"I-I wasn't thinking. I would have never been okay with that!" Sam stuttered as he searched Y/N's eyes.

"You loved it, don't even lie to me," Y/N huffed out, leaving Sam on the brink of tears.

"Go to the truck," John demanded, standing up as he pointed toward the doorway. "This is between me and your brothers."

"No, Daddy. I'm done," Y/N put her foot down, surely shocking all three men.

Never in her life had Y/N ever defied John's words. Dean thought for sure John would have backhanded her immediately.

"Fuck all of you," Y/N muttered under her breath as she rubbed her temples. "Fuck all of you for using me the way you did and fuck me for actually enjoying it. Do you realize how sick you guys are?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Sam was the first to say. Y/N nodded at Sam with a flattened smile.

"Don't come near me!" Y/N tensed up, raising her voice when John took a few steps toward her. "Don't you dare take another step!"

Y/N began to cry, choking on sobs as she tried her best to wipe the tears away. Dean wanted nothing more than to hold her in that moment and help her forget everything.

"Nothing about this is normal! I can't believe you guys tricked me for so long!" Y/N sounded ashamed of herself as she practically screamed at her family. "I can't believe I fell for it. I thought you guys loved me."

"We do! I mean, I do!" Dean spoke up, reaching out to hold her hand.

"No, Dean!" Y/N slapped his hand away. "If you loved me, you would have never done what you did! You just wanted to use me!"

"Y/N, I-" Sam began to speak before being cut off.

"Shut up, Sam! I don't want to hear it!" Y/N continued to sob, seemingly more angry than sad.

The room went silent for a few moments as each of the Winchesters stood in shock.

"I'm leaving," Y/N announced, sniffling as she tried to hold her tears at bay.

"You can't be serious, baby," John chuckled in disbelief, watching for her reaction.

"I am," Y/N nodded her head with purpose as she stared at her father.

John turned to Dean, an even angrier expression on his face than the one before. 

"This! This is why I didn't tell her! Do you understand what you've done, Dean?" John yelled at his eldest, shaking his head. "You know damn well this would have never happened if you didn't say anything!"

"It never would have happened if you didn't manipulate me," Y/N spoke quietly with conviction, no longer sobbing like she was a few moments ago. 

"I didn't manipulate you, sweetheart. You wanted it. You asked me to show you the ropes, and how was I supposed to say no?" John attempted to pin it on Y/N, but she only shook her head in return. "I only did what you asked me to."

"You're lying!" Y/N was growing angrier by the second, the entire room could feel her rage. 

Dean wasn't sure what to do at that moment. Dean didn't want to push Y/N away or for her to leave, he knew that she wasn't ready for the real world. But what Dean didn't want even more was for her to fall for John's tricks again.

"Baby, do you really think I wanted to seduce my own daughter? Do you really think that I planned it out or that I didn't feel sick when I did it?" John baited her even more and Dean watched as her face contorted into a sad expression. 

"You used me," Y/N continued to stay quiet, this time with less conviction. 

"I didn't use you, sweetheart," John took a step forward, causing Y/N to take a step back. 

Dean turned to Sam, who seemed to be in as much shock as he was. Never in his life had Dean witnessed an argument between Y/N and John and as much as he felt like he needed to step in, he couldn't think of anything to say. He supposed that Sam was in the same boat. 

"You just don't know what it's like to be a man. You don't know how hard it is to stick to your morals when a pretty little thing, like you, wants to have sex with you. It's like my body was betraying my mind, Y/N! I didn't want to do anything with you! What kind of father would I be if I did?" John argued, causing Y/N to look even more disheartened. 

"You're lying," Y/N repeated, hot and silent tears streaming down her face. 

"No, babygirl, I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you and that's why I couldn't say no to you." John's expressions dimmed as he took another careful step toward his daughter. This time Y/N didn't take a step back. 

"Don't listen to him!" Sam shouted out, his jaw clenching as he also took a step toward the cowering girl. 

"Mind your business, Sam," John shot a quick glare toward his youngest son, teeth grinding as he spoke.

"Why didn't you tell me, then?" Y/N looked defeated as she questioned with glossy eyes.

"What was I supposed to say, Y/N?" John asked rhetorically. "That I wasn't thinking and that I regretted it? That it was wrong? We had already gone too far and I didn't want to break your heart."

"You regret it?" Y/N asked, her voice a slightly higher pitch than before. 

Dean could tell that Y/N's defenses were breaking and he wasn't sure if he wanted to rebuild them. He didn't want her to leave. But again, Dean knew that he couldn't watch her fall into the same old habits.

"Y/N," Dean warned softly as John sent him a death stare. "He's trying to make you feel bad so that you don't leave."

"You don't know what you're talking about, son," John muttered. "Let's not forget, you're the one who used her without consent."

"Y/N," Dean felt at a loss as he searched for Y/N's eyes. He wanted nothing more than to apologize to her. 

"Be quiet, Dean," Y/N didn't even look over as she demanded her older brother's silence. 

Y/N's gaze stayed on John and Dean could tell by his father's expression, that John believed he had convinced Y/N to stay. 

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Y/N asked in a low and guttural voice as she stared at her father.

"No, sweetheart, of course I don't," John said softly with a small but warm smile. "I was only trying to protect you."

"Sam," Y/N called out without breaking eye contact with her father. 

Y/N reached her hand out as Sam took a step forward, indicating that she wanted her twin by her side. Sam hesitantly walked toward his sister, grabbing ahold of her hand as he rested by her side. 

"Let's leave," Y/N squeezed Sam's hand, looking up at him. 

"Really?" Sam asked quietly and Y/N nodded her head in return. "Let me grab my stuff."

Sam left Y/N's side and headed for the opposite side of the room to grab his duffel bag. Dean's heart began to race as he felt like his heart was being broken. Y/N didn't want Dean to come with her. 

"Y/N," Dean called out, wanting nothing more than Y/N to invite him to go with her. 

"No, Dean," Y/N, again, didn't look over as Dean's eyes searched for hers. 

"Ain't that twisted, Dean," John chuckled in disbelief, and Dean glared in return with teary eyes. "All that work to convince her I was the bad guy and she still doesn't want you."

"Shut up," Dean muttered under his breath, looking down to the floor. 

"Stop it," Y/N warned in a demanding tone. Sam reached her side with his bag, continuing to remain silent. "Dean?"

"Yes?" Dean instantly looked up to see a soft expression on Y/N's face.

"Thank you for telling me. I just need time to forgive you." Y/N offered her gratitude with the utmost sincerity.

"So, I guess Sam's all in the clear, huh?" John nodded his head, skepticism lacing his tone. "I mean, he's the one who knew the entire time about you and me, and he didn't mention a word to you about how sick it was!"

"He didn't know. Let's not forget this is all your fault." Y/N replied bitterly. "And as much as I'd rather go alone, I don't trust myself enough to go without someone. Sam's the only one I can count on not to take advantage of me."

"You'll never survive on the outside. You need us!" John tried to reason with her as he walked toward his daughter, pointing in between himself and Dean. 

"Stop!" Y/N's voice boomed throughout the motel room as she clung to Sam's arm. "If you touch me, I'll scream!"

"Sweetheart-" John began.

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!" Y/N continued until her voice was nearly hoarse.

Dean sat there defeated, not saying a word as he came to grips with reality. He understood where Y/N was coming from, but it still hurt that he had to pay the price of his own actions. Dean knew he was the only one to blame for what he did to her, and the best thing he could do was watch her walk away.

"Where are you gonna go, little girl? You think you can make it all on your own?" John raised his pitch, mocking Y/N as he took small strides toward her.

"Leave her alone," Dean growled.

"Don't think we won't track you down. You'll be right back here in no time." John threatened and Y/N shook her head in return.

"No, I won't," Y/N gripped tighter onto Sam. Sam held her close in return. "If you try to find me, I'll call the police and you'll never see daylight again."

"You can't be serious," John scoffed, his hand resting just above his heart. 

"Goodbye, Dad," Y/N announced, yanking Sam's arm as she started walking toward the door. 

Dean's face was flushed and soaked with tears as he watched his younger siblings walk away. It only hurt more to realize that after they left, Dean would be all alone with John. Dean wished he could go back into the past and undo his mistakes. 

"Goodbye, Dean," Y/N turned back before exiting the motel room, giving her oldest brother a small, sad smile. 

•••

Tag List ❤️

@hobby277 @writethelifeyouwant @deeranger @deans-baby-momma @deans-number-one-fan

[h-170]

can we do a little angst 🥺 where maybe reader is dating another idol or even a member but sakura plays them enough they end up cheating w/ her?… she’s so fine me next!!!

OHHHHHMYYYYYGAAAAWD THIS IS GONNA BE SO HARD TO WRITE CUZ THE REAL SAKUKU WOULD NEVER DO THAT 😭

UGHH cmon autumn be strong 😫

also srry i didnt do it sooner smth came up and i didnt have time to write at all :(

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“Was it worth it?”

sakura rn: 🤫🧏‍♀️

Sakura Miyawaki x female reader

Kim Chaewon x female reader (‼️For the plot‼️)

Angst

Cheating & getting caught

Manipulation (not really? idk :V...)

Betrayal

Swearing

Making out

I couldn't think of other warnings. If there are, please tell me!

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"CHAEEEEE! COME BACK!"

"No."

You get off the couch and drop to your knees, holding one of Chaewon's legs to prevent her from walking as you faked a cry. All the other members watch as they laugh their ass off.

"Chae, please-"

"YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME FALL! LET GO!!"

Reluctantly, you let go, watching her leave as you lay down, stomach on the cold floor. Sakura was the only one to stand up and walk towards you, a few chuckles leaving her as the others kept laughing and joking about your behavior.

"Y/N..."

She gently taps on your shoulder. Her voice was soothing and calm.

"Come on, get off the floor, or you'll get cold."

You lift your head up, a pout on your face as you look to your side, seeing Sakura kneeled beside you.

"No (⩺_⩹)"

"Y/N..."

"No >:("

Sakura sighs and wraps her arms around you, forcing you to sit up before lifting you up 'bridal style', settling you down on the couch next to her sitting spot. She sits down next to you, patting your head as you pout angrily at her.

"Aww, you look so cute when angry, unnie!"

"...>:("

Yunjin laughs hard when Eunchae makes that comment, Kazuha smiling uncontrollably just by seeing her laugh.

"Chae is so mean."

You fake cry onto Sakura's shoulder, the others bursting into laughter again. That moment when Chaewon came back with a glass of water, she looked between you and the eldest.

"OH, SO YOU'RE REPLACING ME NOW?!"

"YES!"

She puts the glass of water down and grabs your arm, pulling you up.

"You think Kkura unnie is a better girlfriend? I'll show you >:("

"Shut up D:<"

Meanwhile, Sakura puts her hands on her face, but they weren't on her mouth to silence her laughter, they were on her cheeks to hide her blush.

You see...

Long story short, Sakura has a massive crush on you. Ever since you've met her at a signing event, she can't stop thinking about you. However, she slightly regretted the moment when she told the other members she asked for your number because you looked like a nice person – that wasn't the reason; she found you stunning – since after you met the idols, Chaewon fell hard for you, and unlike Sakura, SHE made the first move.

Honestly? She was happy for her leader, but jealous because she stole her secret crush that she met first.

But there wasn't anything she could do... Right?

[...] — End of flashback

On that same night, after all the girls fell asleep, you stayed awake, still thinking about what Chaewon said. You started feeling insecure; does Chaewon really think that low of you? I mean, it was a joke, yes, but did she think you would actually cheat on her? You rub your forehead, trying to ease your headache. It wasn't all that, you also trusted Sakura, she wouldn't do anything like that... Or would she?

You planned on going out with all the members to the attraction park tomorrow, but little did you know things would take a wild turn.

[...]

The next morning, you wake up last. Realizing you were late and everyone is probably waiting for you downstairs but for some reason didn't wake you up, you jump out of bed. When you turn around, someone is standing behind the door, and of course, it's Sakura.

"Am I late?!"

"No, don't worry. We're all eating breakfast downstairs."

You sigh in relief, making Sakura giggle lowly.

"I'll be with you guys in a minute."

"Alright..."

She trails off, scanning your face.

"Have you slept well? You seem tired."

"Well..."

You pause, thinking if you should answer truthfully or brush it off. You thought mixing both would be the best idea.

"Not really... But it's okay, I was just having, uh... Some thoughts before sleeping."

"Are you sure? We can cancel the-"

"No, no, I'm okay, really."

Sakura smiles warmly at you and nods, leaving the room. Her actions made you all fuzzy inside; she was so caring.

You head over to the closet, choosing your clothes before finishing up in the bathroom, then go downstairs. You were greeted warmly by all the members and sat down, eating breakfast with them. By the time you were done, everyone was ready and it was time to go.

You all decided to walk there since it was close to your house, the girls wearing caps and hoodies to not be recognized. It was gonna be annoying to keep their identities hidden during the entire time, but they were confident in the fact that they will have fun either way.

Now you all forgot one thing: the attraction park doesn't open so early. You all laugh as you realize how stupid the decision was so you end up waiting in a nearby cafe instead.

Once the attraction park opened, the maknae ran first, followed by Yunjin then Chaewon, yelling at them for being childish and that you should stick together to not get lost. You and the other two run after them with big smiles on your faces; this is the beginning of a fun day!

[...]

You guys literally tried ALL attractions, from fun to scary ones, and you also tried claw machines! Most of them were scams, but you managed to get one for your girlfriend! Not the one she wanted, though she took it anyway. You also got one for Eunchae while Sakura got none, even though you expected her to get the most. Yunjin and Kazuha didn't mind not having a plushie, and you were all getting tired anyway, so you went back home and Sakura cooked ramyeon for lunch.

Nothing happened much after that, just Eunchae picking on Chaewon because her plushie was bigger than hers, recalling funny moments back at the attraction park when you all screamed and laughed; everything was filmed on Sakura's phone.

Night came by quickly, and you ordered takeout for dinner since Sakura didn't have the strength to cook anything, just like all of you. You and Chaewon shared a plate (she just gave you a piece because you said you weren't that hungry but you were actually starving and since that was Chaewon's favorite plate you weren't going to bother her) and Sakura and Eunchae shared theirs.

It was now time for sleep, and you all headed to your bedrooms.

[...]

4 am.

I'm so hungry...

You get out of bed, carefully trying not to wake up Chaewon. You tiptoe downstairs, but there was already a silhouette in the kitchen...

"Y/N?"

Of course, Sakura.

"Hey..."

"Why are you here?"

"I was hungry... Why are you here?"

"I was also hungry."

You two chuckle quietly, what a coincidence!

"Here, I made some extra ramyeon. Have some."

"It's fine, I won't steal from your plate, I'll just eat something else..."

"Hey, it's okay. There is too much, I wasn't gonna eat it all anyway."

You give in, watching as Sakura gives you a plate. It was really hot so you just waited until it cooled down.

"Does Chaewon know you're here?"

"Haha, no, she's still sleeping."

Sakura smiles, playing with her chopsticks. A few moments pass and you try to eat again, but it's still burning hot.

"Still hot?"

"Yeah... I don't know why."

Sakura gets up, looking around.

"What are you searching for?"

"My mini fan, maybe that'll cool it... But I don't remember where I put it."

You also get up, helping her search for it. Eventually, you find it on the living room table, but it was low on battery, so you had to charge it somewhere. While waiting, you settle down on the couch, silence engulfing you both.

"This is... Awkward."

"Truly, but I still find it weird that your ramyeon isn't cooling off."

"I know, maybe I turned the heat on too high."

"Wouldn't it have burnt?"

"Hm."

Your stomach growls as you keep talking about the ramyeon waiting for you in the kitchen, and you blush in embarrassment.

"Very hungry?"

"I think the sound from earlier answered your question, Kkura."

She giggles, but then her phone buzzes.

"...why did you bring your phone downstairs-"

"It's just a habit of bringing it wherever I go."

"Who is it?"

Sakura reads the message, her eyebrows frowning.

"Kkura?"

"My friend broke up with her boyfriend."

"Oh."

You look at the message, reading it too.

"Shitty personality?"

"Yeah, he was like that."

"Like what?"

Sakura pauses, thinking on how to explain it.

"He's... A bit like Chaewon, but worse."

"Like Chaewon?"

"Kinda, yeah. I mean, you know..."

You nod, understanding. Chaewon, at first glance, would be considered as a toxic person, but she does care about others. But then, Sakura asks a question that makes your whole insides working to answer it.

"But, speaking of Chaewon, does she... Hurt you, at least a bit like him?"

You pause, rubbing the back of your neck.

"What... Do you mean?"

"Considering that him and her have alike personalities, I just want to know – since my friend was hurt enough to break up with him – if you feel the same way."

"Oh..."

"I know Chaewon could be... Quite disrespectful and selfish sometimes, but I want to see your point of view."

"I mean... She is, sometimes... But she's just like that."

"It still doesn't mean that she can hurt you in any way."

"No, no, of course, but..."

You trail off, thinking. Sakura puts a hand on your shoulder.

"Y/N, I know I shouldn't intervene in your business with Chaewon, but I care about you as well, and I need to know. Is she treating you unfairly?"

"Recently..."

"Tell me."

"It's just... She started growing more distant. Less clingy than before and she's more angry at me. Whatever I do, even as a joke, is considered something bad for her. And especially after what happened yesterday, I just can't stop thinking about it."

"What part of yesterday?"

"When she said that I think you're a better girlfriend."

"I see."

"I started thinking that she really thinks I would cheat on her like that? Even if it was a joke, she does it pretty often, like last week with Yunjin..."

Sakura nods, caressing your back.

"Have you... Thought of talking to her?"

"If I open the subject, she'll definitely think I am trying to manipulate her or gaslighting her, and she'll break up with me."

"But you can't keep everything to yourself, knowing that she's the one hurting you."

Ouch. Sakura was right though, Chaewon IS hurting you.

"...does she even act like a lover to you? I only see the regular bossy Chaewon, even around you."

"No... I don't think so... She doesn't hug me or hold me, never even says 'I love you' back... She doesn't even kiss me!"

"All that? But... How, I mean, do you feel the love or connection between you both? At least..."

"..."

You pause. You didn't feel a connection. Sakura was entirely right, you never did, you were just super obsessed with Chaewon and the fact that she kept being possessive made you think she cared, but she was just bossing you around like all the other members.

"I'm not special..."

"Hey, Y/N..."

You look at Sakura, caressing your lips before looking away.

"She never kissed me..."

"..."

"You... Really opened my eyes there."

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, I should've known... I should've taken the hints and compared her actions with yours."

"Huh? Mine? Why me?"

"You treat me better than Chaewon... You... Simply care more."

"...mm."

"Hm, maybe you are a better girlfriend."

You both chuckle, the joke having perfect timing. But was it really a joke? Would Sakura actually be a better girlfriend? Would you feel loved thanks to her?

You weren't really sure what happened, both of you were so tired and caught up in the moment that it just happened: when you open your eyes, you see Sakura on top of you, both of your mouths locked together as you kiss.

You close your eyes again, your hands grabbing the back of Sakura's neck while hers were holding her up, trying not to put too much pressure on you. You literally wrapped yourself around her, both of you making out in the middle of the silent night.

"This is not right... We can't do this..."

"..."

"Damn it, why does it have to feel so right, though?"

You pull her back into another kiss and Sakura sighs into your mouth. Your lips move in perfect sync, as if they were always meant to be. It didn't matter in what position you were in, how you were dressed, or any of these unimportant details; it was Sakura. Sakura was the one who could make you feel loved, no matter what the conditions are. Chaewon was just a step, a trial, something to lead you to the eldest, the one for you.

It was literally all clear; the way she's holding you, the way she's kissing you, the way she touches you... She knows how to do things because she loves you, and she knows how to show it. Not even an 'I love you' from her was necessary.

You break apart, still holding each other.

"Sakura... What... What is this?"

"Y/N, I... Can't stop, you... You just taste too good."

"What are we? W-What are we now?"

Sakura pauses, panting heavily.

"I don't-"

"A cheater, that's what you are, Y/N."

Sakura rises up from the couch, and so do you, your eyes widening as you see Chaewon staring at both of you.

"Ch-Chae-"

"So? You really took what I said about Sakura seriously?"

"Chae, it happened too fast, I-"

"Just shut up!"

Sakura stands up and so do you, watching the angry female figure in front of you.

"Chaewon, it's my fault, I shouldn't have, but spare Y/N, it's not her fault."

"Don't talk, unnie. Don't take the blame for her."

She looks at you, her eyes fuming.

"We're over. Go sleep in Sakura's room instead, 'cause one of us is gonna pack our things and leave tomorrow."

And with that, she leaves. Sakura looks at you, concern visible on her face.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry..."

"...don't be, it's... Probably for the best."

"Are you going to leave?"

"Yeah... I don't think the others will want to see me after that..."

"Me neither, I might just leave as well..."

You look at her, feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this."

"Don't be, I couldn't control my feelings either."

"I don't think you understand; I cheated on Chaewon, messed up the whole group, made you feel guilty and half-rejected your feelings. There is nothing positive about what we've done."

"...and the kiss?"

Your cheeks redden.

"Right."

"Sorry."

"No, no, it... Was a positive thing."

Sakura smiles softly.

"I can let you live with me for a while since you're getting kicked out of your 'multi-dorm', as you call it."

"Heh, yeah... I hope you don't hate me too much for it..."

"I'm not, I don't mind having you around, but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable since you know that I like you now."

"To be fair, I think I might have feelings for you too, but I need time..."

Sakura caresses your back with a nod, and you smile back. It's true, the situation was a mess, but Sakura has your back, and you'll figure it out together.

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gyatt dayum this is crazy

[n0v4t33z]

Dark Desires: Chapter IV - The Gift from the Dead

Pairings: VampireCatHybrid~Seonghwa x Female Reader, VampireCatHybrid~Ateez x Female Reader

Genre: Horror, Angst, Romance, Vampire Ateez, Paranormal?

Word Count: 11.1 k

Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Violence, Language, mentions blood, Magic, Fantasy, Some Fluff, Highly Suggestive at times (This is a warning for the whole story overall)

Chapter specific: Death, lots of blood, kidnapping, lying and manipulation, violence, themes of horror and paranormal things happening, ghosts, some lame magic scene? (lol it was hard and confusing) , language, y/n gets her ass handed to her at one point, villain says some suggestive things, villain is aggressive overall, self harm (y/n doesn't do it by the way Hwa does but like not like in a bad way, it was a matter of life or death!), (will update if anything else comes up)

Author's Note 💌: So this is the second to last chapter and I'm going to be honest I'm scared for the last chapter because it's not even written yet.. (lol) 💀 Originally I stopped here but I honestly just wanted to do a little bit of fluff at the end with all of the guys and just one whole last chapter to make it feel more complete and less loose ended yk? If I'm being honest though I'm not really happy with this chapter, I feel like some things were redundant and idk I'll probably come back to it one day and fix it. Even then, I hope whoever enjoys it does so and if you don't that's cool too just keep it to yourself! Please look forward to the last chapter sometime next week! -N💜🌙

Spotify Playlist🩸

☽ ──── ༺𖤐༻ ──── ☾

It’s the next day and while there was no sign of Draven, everyone including myself are still on edge. So much so I stayed up pretty late reading the books Yeosang lent me. Usually when I begin cooking I wake up and function normally but at the moment I’m so tired my eyes feel like they’re going to shut any second. So while I cut some vegetables and I try to keep my eyes open at the same time I accidentally cut my finger and I let out a quiet yelp. Immediately I look down at my finger and see the crimson blood flowing out of the wound and onto the white chopping board. I rinse out the wound and while I wrap up my wound in a napkin I hear something outside, a small crashing noise. It might be San playing outside, I should call him in for a snack since it’s around the time he asks for one anyway. I walk outside and I look around scanning the area while I call out “Master San it’s almost time for your snack do you want me to bring it out?” I see a figure behind the gazebo in the distance and I smirk. I walk towards the gazebo and I say loud enough so he could hear. “I wonder where Master San is…” I check behind the gazebo completely expecting to see San but I see no one. "Huh, that's weird-" Suddenly I feel a hand with sharp claw like black nails cover my mouth but before I’m able to turn around they put their other hand on the top of my head and I instantly black out. 

The strong smell of old blood and dust permeates my nose and wakes me up, I slowly open my eyes and feel both of my ankles and arms were tied to a stone cold wall in a room with some lit black candles. I notice that next to those candles is that same hourglass like in the forbidden room at the vampires’ mansion and In the middle of the floor is the same sigil in the room where Sumi was sacrificed only there was a puddle of a dark liquid in the middle of it presumably being blood. That's when it hits me that I’m no longer in their house anymore, something in me tells me that this was Draven's doing. He’s going to hurt Seonghwa and the guys I feel it. I look at the door while I frustratingly try pulling my legs out of the chains but they were on very tightly including the ones on my hands and before I know it tears slowly begin to blur my vision. “Let me out of here!” I cry out repeatedly until a few etrenal minutes later I hear the door swing open and the very same man I saw yesterday was standing before me. This time he was wearing a white dress shirt, some black dress pants and a black blazer with the same scarlet jeweled necklace and his long black hair in a neat pony tail tied with a red ribbon. It’s scary to think this well dressed man is the one who the guys fear of the most and the one who killed his own brother and the guys’ beloved mentor. “Mister please let me go! You’ve got the wrong person!” He begins walking towards me with a smirk plastered on his face he then leans in a few centimeters from my neck and takes a deep breath and slowly exhales and lets out a satisfied sigh “It’s nice to see you’re awake now but you’re mistaken young lady, you’re exactly who I was looking for.”

He gently runs his claw on my cheek and says “I hate witches but you smell exceptionally divine, reminds me of another powerful witch who once had blood like yours. She’s dead now of course and that was hundreds of years ago but even then this is very familiar to me..” I slowly shake my head giving him pleading eyes “My powers haven’t awakened yet so I’m sure my blood isn’t anything special. Please just let me go.” He glences at me for a few moments with his pitch black eyes then he lets out an eerie cackle “Why would I let you go? You’re going to be my power supply, just smelling your blood excites me with the power it holds.” His hand slowly moves down to my neck and tightly wraps his cold hand around my neck with his sharp claw like nails digging into my skin.

“Look at you, no wonder those eight weak wretched vampires wanted to keep you all to themselves. You're beautiful. What a shame you’re a filthy witch or I would have had you bear me a child..” I tightly clench my hands, anger begins bubbling inside me. How dare he. This man is beyond perverse and disgusting. I move my head back trying to escape his grip but he leans in and whispers in my ear “I wish I could see the look on their faces when they realize you’re gone because that’s when those little cats are going to realize their mistake for keeping such a precious thing away from their master.” he lets go of me and smirks. “And when they come here to come look for you is when I’ll show them not to ever lie to the hand that feeds them.” I shake my head trying to hold back tears again “Please don’t hurt them. Take my blood but please don’t hurt them!” He turns his back towards me and walks towards the door again “No, they’re going to learn not to ever try and deceive a demon’s contract.” He closes the door behind him and leaves, leaving me alone in the lowly lit room. I quietly begin to cry again and I say under my breath “Please aunt Ursula, I need your help. I know you can hear me, and I’m sorry for disturbing your peace but I have to save my friends and the love of my life. It’s the only time in my life where I truly feel happy and it was ruined by this asshole demon so please help me…I'm so sorry.” 

I stare at the flames of the candles flickering while I rest my head on my arm for what seemed hours. “I’ve been trying for who knows how long but everything I read in those books is useless, I don’t have powers. I’m dead weight to them and it was a mistake for them to have been so kind to me, I should have died. I bet this is karma for what happened to Sumi. For what I did." I’m so sorry Seonghwa, but finding me was a mistake. When the door opens once again and it was Draven, he walks towards me and wastes no time to rip open my dress popping the buttons on the top half and grabs my jaw and smirks. His hand was huge and it was scary how easy my head fit in it.

“It’s time.” He tightens his grip on my jaw, slightly tilts my head to expose my jugular and he lets out a low growl like groan. I instantly close my eyes and begin to feel nauseous the moment he gently runs his tongue along my jugular vein. So when he bites my neck I let out a cry of pain when his sharp fangs pierce my skin he slowly tightens his grip on my jaw and tightly holds on to my shoulder while burying his sharp claws into my skin. As he feeds on my blood I begin to feel lightheaded and weak and as much as I try to wriggle away his claws dig into my skin to keep me from moving too much. Soon I lose my strength to stand up so I fall to the floor with my hands dangling from the chains around my wrists while Draven holds my limp body. When he finishes he lets go of me and I try and force myself to stand up, completely failing to do so my body hangs from the chains on my wrists. He wipes his bloodied mouth and says “Oh come on stop exaggerating. I only had a small drink.” He grabs a handful of my hair and lifts my head up to meet my gaze with his, his pitch black eyes now have dark red irises glowing. “I’m going to try and keep you alive as long as I can because I don’t think I can ever go back to regular blood. It’s been too long.” Too weak to reply I manage to incoherently say “Y-You...Disg-ust...Me.” He smirks and says “I like it...Hate me all you want but that’s not going to change the fact that you’re mine now. ”

I shoot him a dirty look and he laughs “Oh my, I can definitely see the hatred in your eyes now.” Disgusted, I look away focusing on the flame of the candle to keep myself grounded and try to somehow move it or manipulate it but Draven turns my head to face him “If you act like a bad little witch I’ll make sure you watch them suffer so you know I’m not messing around. ” Suddenly the door swings and a panicked guard enters and mumbles “S-Sir, they’re here and they’ve already killed the guards at the door.” Draven rolls his eyes and turns to the guard "Who's here you imbecile?" The guard nervously furrows his eyebrows and says in a slight hushed tone "Sir Jongkook's creations- his eight boys. The black cats.." Angered by this Draven lets go of my face and his cocky expression changes to a dark one “Why wasn’t I told when they arrived at the gates?!” The guard begins to fidget with the hilt of his sword and says “I uh- You said not to bother you when you feed so we tried to handle it ourselves. We didn’t know they'd gotten this powerful.” Draven clenches his fist on his side then talks between his teeth “You useless piece of- Go help the others you worthless mortal!!”

The guard jumps and runs away closing the door behind him, Draven then turns back to me and says “I have to hide you, I don’t want them to find my source of power.” he pulls out a set of keys from his pocket and undoes the chains from both my hands and feet and I fall to my knees still feeling exhausted from the blood loss. He grabs my limp body and easily hoists me over his shoulder, and begins to walk down a long dark hallway and at the end of it In the distance I hear the blood curdling screams of the guards begging for mercy. Draven opens a wooden door leading into another room to which it just looks like an ordinary small library until he manages to make one of the shelves open. I take the opportunity of his distraction and kick him in the stomach while I push myself away from him causing me to fall on my side.

I clutch my arm in pain and with the last strength I have left I get up and run to the door and open it and as loud as I can I scream "Guys! I’m here!” Right before I continue running Draven puts his clawed hand over my mouth and tightly squeezes my face with his claws painfully digging into my skin hissing through his teeth “What did I say about you being a good little witch? You’re lucky your blood is precious now, quiet down and be a good little witch. You really don’t want to anger me..” He puts his other hand over my head and I fall back onto Draven’s arms only this time I didn’t black out. I try to move my hands but my body isn’t responding, I can't move. Did he paralyze me? How?  Draven grabs me again and slings my paralyzed body over his shoulder only this time more aggressively and walks towards the open hidden door. It was a portal, the dark red light emanating from the portal seemed like maybe it was a portal leading to somewhere in the underworld but as soon as he steps into the portal we enter a room that looked like a regular bedroom except the windows had metal framework over them meaning I couldn’t escape.

Immediately when I looked out the windows it was dark but after a few seconds my eyes adjusted and I noticed I was somewhere up high kind of like a tower of some sort. In the horizon I see that this tower is in a place of darkness with the distant glow of the eternal fires of the underworld and distant wailing of the lost souls. Draven walks over to the bed and lays me down carefully onto the blood red satin sheets. “Those little cats won’t ever find you here, just know that if I don’t manage to come back you’re stuck here forever so you better hope I survive.” He gently taps my nose and smirks “Be grateful I’m sparing you from having to witness the wrath these good for nothing bastards will have to endure.” He adjusts his blazer and walks towards the portal and exits the room, as soon as he’s gone the dark red portal closes leaving a bare black wall in its place and leaving me regaining my ability to move again. Sadly, my body felt too weak from the blood loss and I didn’t have the strength to get up, I lay here until I eventually fall asleep.

 Once I open my eyes I look around and note that I’m laying on the ground in the forest. It wasn't until I hear a faint whisper call out to me “y/n, over here!” That voice..It’s so familiar. “Hey!” I sit up and hastily look in the direction the disembodied voice comes from and see nothing but dark forest and slight fog. Suddenly right behind me I hear “Psst! I’m right behind you..” I gasp and crawl away screaming from the source of the noise scaring me half to death. When I turn I see the familiar long dark locks. “Sumi?” There’s a giggle coming from the long haired woman in the gown. “Hey..” My eyes instantly tear up once I manage to recognize her voice “Are you okay? I thought you died?” She walks towards me, her gazing looking pretty neutral and content “I did, in the physical world.” She kneels in front of me and I slowly reach towards her “So, you’re a ghost?” She smiles causing a shiver to run down my spine. “I’m sorry.” I blurt out, she raises her eyebrow and  tilts her head “For what?” Tears run down my cheeks again falling onto the cold soil below me “I knew what was going to happen to you, you died because of me.” She giggles “I know, I was watching. I watched you when you were having that conversation with the silver haired vampire, your boyfriend.”

I blink in confusion “You were watching me?” She nods and sits next to me “Yes, after I died my soul lingered in that house for a little bit, but not before I was able to see what happened. Although I’m angry I’m dead, I know somehow my death is not in vain and that you’ll be able to stop those pointless sacrifices to that stupid demon vampire thing so no more people suffer, females in particular.” I bury my face in my hands and sigh “That’s what I was trying to do but I was caught.” Sumi lifts my face to face her, her once beautiful chocolate brown eyes looking like the dark void from the low light, she gives me a soft smile gently stroking my hair “Which is why I’m here, close your eyes until I tell you to.” before I’m able to say anything she puts her hands over my eyes to close them.

Once she removes her hand a few seconds go by but all I hear is silence, It wasn’t until I hear a small meow I open my eyes and see a black cat sitting in front of me “Sumi?” The cat intensely stares at me for a few seconds then it runs away as soon as it hears a branch snap. I gasp and see a woman wearing a dark hooded cape with a beautiful dark flowy dress and a scepter with a soft blue gleaming glow. I scoot back with my back towards the tree trunk while I shake my head in fear then I manage to blurt out “Please don’t hurt me!” The woman slowly begins to walk towards me until she’s a few feet away she then extends her hand towards me almost like she was helping me up. I grab onto her hand and stand up and as soon as our eyes meet she pushes her hood off of her head revealing beautiful dark curly locks and beautiful round brown eyes and croons “y/n, my child you called?”

I blink a few times at the sudden realization this woman was my great aunt Ursula. “Great aunt Ursula? This is you?” She gives me a small smile “Yes my dear, this is only the embodiment of my essence being transmitted through your dreams as It is the only way I can communicate with you since your powers haven’t awakened.” I reach over and hold my aunt’s hand and hold it close to me. “Please, you’ve got to help me great aunt Ursula. This vampire demon guy named Draven is going to kill my friends and my boyfriend and I have to save them but I don’t have my powers activated.” She looks a bit off to the side for a few seconds almost like she was thinking then she turns back to me “Well, it seems like I recognize that name... I can help you. I can possess your body and help defeat that creature, the only downside to it is since your powers haven’t been awakened as soon as I leave your body you will die since you’re still technically your body cannot handle the force of the power leaving the body.”

I look down at the forest floor and my eyesight begins to blur with tears, I don’t want to die but at this point I have no choice if I want to save them. I’m scared. I gently squeeze my aunt’s hand then I wipe my tears with my other hand “I’ll do it, if it means they’ll be safe.” My great aunt Ursula slightly tilts her head causing her dark curls to cascade a little lower from her shoulder “Are you sure my child? You don't seem too sure about it.” I shake my head aggressively almost like my body wanted to show her how urgent it was to attain her powers. She gives me a slightly worried look until she finally caves in and says “Alright you’ll feel a slight pressure in your chest.” I step back a bit and straighten out my body then my aunt’s body turns into a gleaming blue mist that surrounds me and slowly seeps into my body until the only thing that remained was a faint blue glow then it completely disappears. 

I wake up and gasp feeling a slight pressure in my chest not being able to breathe for a few moments. I sit up and look at my hands and notice the slight blue glow in my hands then I hear a meowing noise and see a dark grey cat with blue eyes sitting on the window sill. I get up and walk towards it and say “Oh, hi I didn’t see you in here.” Suddenly I hear a voice interrupt my thoughts and says “Hi I’m your familiar, my name is Astra.” I slightly jump from surprise before I could reach over and pet the cat I respond in a slightly confused manner “Uh, wait what? How are you in my head? Can you read my mind?” Almost immediately the voice returns and says “No, I can’t read your mind I can only talk through your mind. I’m tasked to look after you and guide you since you’re wielding very powerful powers.”

I look over at the wall where the portal should have been then I walk towards it with Astra following behind me “Ah, so how do I open the portal here?” Astra replies “Put your hand on the wall and concentrate your power to open a portal, envision yourself opening that portal. It might take you several tries if you don’t concentrate enough.” I put my hand on the black wall and concentrate, envisioning myself opening the portal and walking through it and just like that I hear and feel the blue hued portal open. When I walk through it I end up in the same room before I entered that odd tower. I leave the room and run down the dark hallway, while running I notice the end of Astra’s tail has a blue flame to help illuminate my path. In the distance I hear Wooyoung shout something followed by a loud crashing noise, the noise came from the big wooden door straight ahead. When I run up and open the door I see the guys fighting the guards. The problem is I didn’t see Draven anywhere, then I notice Yeosang in particular was having a bit of a problem fighting off 4 guards ganging up on him. I extend my hand and use my abilities to move the guards away from Yeosang and smash them against the wall killing them instantly from the impact. Then I run over to Yeosang to check if he was okay. “Master Yeosang are you okay?” In shock, Yeosang nods then gets up and continues fighting.

 A few minutes later the room was scattered with the lifeless bloody bodies of Draven’s guards. I look around in search of Seonghwa until my eyes meet his, his expression lit up as soon as he saw me then I run into his arms holding back tears. He kisses the top of my head and holds me tight in his embrace then says “My love, are you okay? Did he do anything to you?” I pull back and nod reluctantly moving my hair aside to show him the bite mark on the left side of my neck. Seonghwa’s gaze darkens to a very angry expression and begins to walk towards the door only for Hongjoong to stop him from walking away “Hey! Where are you going, what happened?” Seonghwa turns to Hongjoong and says in a low voice “Draven fed on her.” everyone makes a collective gasp while Hongjoong looks at me with a shocked expression.

“Did he turn you? Is that how you got those powers?” I fidget with the ruffles on the corner of my apron and shake my head “No, actually my great aunt Ursula lent me her powers.” Astra walks up in between me and Hongjoong and circles around his ankles, slightly startling him when he looks down his eyebrows inch together “What about this cat? Where did it come from?” I grab Astra and pick her up in my arms “This is Astra, my familiar.” Wooyoung skeptically answers “But you just said you haven’t awakened your powers, how does that work?” I put her down and shrug “I don’t know she was in that room with me when I woke up from a dream, that’s where my great aunt Ursula lent me her powers. It was weird. I also saw Sumi..” Yeosang worriedly looks at me then looks down at the ground. Wooyoung gives me a slight uneasy expression, like her name was some sort of bad omen to them. "What do you mean you talked to Sumi? That girl we sacrificed a few days ago?" I nod and set down Astra "Yeah, long story short after she died she roamed the house and found out about Draven. She also found out about me trying to get my powers and helped me contact my aunt." San blinks and looks slightly spooked at the ground "No wonder I felt like I was being watched a few times in the shower.." Hongjoong glares at San and shakes his head, Seonghwa trying to move on clears his throat and says in a serious tone “Okay, we have to find Draven and end him, my guess is Sumi is also counting on us for that too not just for ourselves.” Yeosang then interjects “Especially now after we know he’s fed on Miss y/n’s blood. He’s severely dangerous now.”

San points behind us and says “Um...guys he already found us.” Draven enters the room and looks around and laughs “Wow, you little cats sure did a number on these guards. I thought it’d take you longer.” While scanning the room his eyes meet mine and he smirks “Oh, you shouldn’t be here. I thought I asked you to be a good little witch and wait for me in your room.” Seonghwa gives him a disgusted look and says “You’re foul for this Draven, we made it up to you for not sacrificing her.” Draven lifts his finger signaling him to quiet down then he says “That��s not how it works, you out of everyone here should know that. Yes, it even applies to your little maid here. Especially with that powerful blood of hers you were keeping a real gem from me. That reminds me, you guys probably have fun with this little witch every so often hm? Is that why you didn’t want to give her up? Is it because you’re scared you’re going to lose your little toy? Or was it the blood too? ” Seonghwa glares at him almost like he was shooting lasers out of his eyes. How is it even possible to look even angrier than he did a few minutes ago?

Draven smirks and walks closer to Seonghwa without hesitation “What? Cat’s got your tongue?” He reaches out and grabs Seonghwa by the throat then Mingi instinctively pulls his Anti-Vampire crossbow and points it at Draven while everyone else tenses up ready to attack then I blurt out “Please let him go, just take me I know I messed up. I’ll stay here until I'm no use for you, please.” Draven looks over at me smirking then squeezes Seonghwa’s neck a little harder “Hmm, how about I keep you and kill these guys? You know I’m not going to change my mind about that right? I gave you a chance to be a good girl.” Mingi shoots Draven in the chest and he immediately lets go of Seonghwa’s neck and clutches onto his chest while clenching his jaw then pulls out the silver tipped wooden arrow. Seonghwa reaches over and punches Draven in the face then telekinetically throws him on the wall then a few seconds later demon like creatures spawn into the room and attack the guys and myself while Seonghwa is left to deal with Draven by himself. While I help the others fight off the demon-like creatures I notice Seonghwa beginning to take quite a bit of damage. I can’t let him fight alone.

”Astra, how do I get rid of these creatures? They’re not dying!” Astra stands next to me while I suspend the creature in the air waiting for her response “You can control them, you’ve got powers remember? Use them to your advantage. Concentrate and envision yourself controlling them, your blue flames cleasing their evil.” I take a deep breath and raise all 6 demon creatures telekinetically then a red glow emits from them until blue flames consume the creatures. “Destroy..” Then I set them down, the flames still burning giving them a blue hued aura. Their attacking stops and their attention changes to Draven and begin to attack him then I shout over at the guys “It’s okay, they won’t attack us anymore!” Draven turns his attention towards me and teleports behind me and tries to knock me out with his powers luckily I manage to spot him and mystical energy surrounds my body causing Draven to be pushed away from me a few feet. Everyone uses their telekinetic powers to restrain Draven while Seonghwa looks in my direction. “y/n!” I slowly start stepping away from Draven "I'm fine!" he gives me an acknowledging nod and a faint smile.

Meanwhile Astra runs over to me and hurriedly says “y/n! Now’s your chance to use fireballs!” I get fireballs? I extend my hand and a blue flame ball appears in my hand and I throw it directly at Draven causing his pant leg to catch on fire causing him to shout in pain. Suddenly I get an idea so I begin to use both my hands to summon fireballs throwing them at him, he gets hit a few times but then manages to shield himself with some sort of energy forcefield. 

 Seonghwa gives me a look of awe and the guys stand there in shock. Unfortunately the looks of awe turn into looks of horror when the dark energy begins to surround Draven and he breaks free from the guy’s combined telekinetic powers. Draven’s power levels begin to increasingly go off the charts and hovers towards me with a look of annoyance in his glowing eyes while his fists clenched to his sides. “I underestimated you, but now you leave me no choice but to destroy you because you’re going to get in the way.” Seonghwa and the rest of the guys are turned into black cats and are put in a cage made of dark energy. That’s when it began to sink in that Draven can flawlessly control his powers. Meanwhile, I’m having trouble remembering the simplest spells even though I studied and read about them not too long ago. I’m sure he’s had prior experience with this power there is no other logical reason as to why he’s so well off using his powers. I’ve dug myself into a deep grave now, I can’t lose now that I’ve angered him. Astra hides behind me and says "Those Doromons are still possed by your flame!"

I can have them attack Draven again, they might not have worked the first time but maybe this time around something will happen. “ Doromon’s attack!” The demons continue to attack Draven but it was no use, before I’m even able to turn my attention to the guys Draven disappears the demons in a blink of and eye. He hovers over a few feet away rendering me unable to even have a shot at breaking that cage to set them free “You really thought you did something there didn’t you? You don’t even know how to use your powers.” I start practically speedwalking a few meters away from him. I can’t let him get too close. “You’re right. I don’t know how to use my powers but that won’t stop me from fighting you to the death. I won’t let you hurt anyone else. You've claimed enough lives already.” In the distance I hear meowing, it’s coming front the guys suddenly I hear San shout from the distance “Miss y/n please don’t do this!” Wooyoung then follows up with “It’s not worth it!” That’s where they’re wrong, I grew to care so much about them, and him.

I have to protect them. The guys stick their paws out as if to try and release themselves from their confinement to no avail. Draven cackles and hurls a ball of dark energy towards me, unable to dodge it due to the speed of it, the ball hits me in the chest so hard that I fall on my back letting out a loud gasp. Oh my god this hurt way more than I was anticipating.. Before I knew it Draven goes for another hit this time hitting me in the stomach causing me to lose my breath. In the distance I hear the guys yelling undecipherable phrases in anger while Draven picks me up with his telekinesis and crushes me and hearing the crunching of a few bones. I let out a blood curdling scream feeling evrey small bit of pain shooting through my body. Am I going to die? He unempathetically laughs and lets go of me, I fall to the ground hitting the stone floor hard. The guys all let out a screams of terror along while trying to destroy the cage unfortunately the dark energy forcefield sends a shock of pain if the bars are touched in any way. Seonghwa in particular tries to squeeze his tiny body between the bars screaming and grunting in anger. For a few moments I lay there in a daze, watching my friends nearly kill themselves trying to escape that cage. Unable to speak or even make a noise my eyes tear up from the huge amounts of pain and frustration. I feel warm blood running down my chin onto the stone floor below. I try to move on my side but I begin to choke on the massive amounts of blood and I spit out a whole mouth full of it onto the ground below me. “You should stay down if you know what’s best for you dear..” Astra runs next to me “y/n! Are you okay?! Use fire whip!”

I manage to let out a low guttural groan and extend my hand and I begin to concentrate a big fireball made of blue flames. Draven begins to move close to me and out of anger I disperse the blue flames in his direction, easily he blocks them but not without part of his arms , chest and face catching on fire. Get up. Must get up. I struggle to get up but I manage, unfortunately from the way I'm struggling to breathe and how I can't move my arms very much my left arm and a few of my ribs are probably broken and who knows what else ruptured.

Feeling the warm blood drip below onto my uniform I create a big fireball again, Draven lets out a maniacal laugh getting awfully close “Oh look a scary fireball, how fancy.” The ball of flames eventually becomes too big for me to hold in my hand so I directly throw it towards Draven but he stops it right in between us and begins to beam his evil energy into it to try and send it back to me. His dark power slowly pushes a mixture of the ball of energy and fireball dangerously close to me, the ball resembling almost like a small scale version of the sun only it glowed a menacing dark glow with a blue hued aura. I concentrate as best as I can but panic slowly creeps and my powers begin to lose strength. Draven completely letting the dark power have complete control over him he says with no remorse in his voice “As much as I wanted to keep you alive you leave me no choice..”  Seonghwa yells and says in a terrified voice “y/n please! Just let us die, don’t do this!” Draven lets out a loud manically scary cackle.

As fear takes over me I feel something shift in my body then I notice my body is running on autopilot. It feels like I’m just watching everything going on now. My other broken hand by some miracle moves helping me create a scepter with a silver handle and a black stone at the end, it was very beautiful and sparkly. Immediately the gem catches fire and black flames consume it staying lit. I grab the scepter with both of my hands to help me project more of the fire into the energy ball eventually turning the ball into a big firey dark ball of energy. As soon as the dark ball of energy begins to gain more strength I feel and see the blue flames appear on my arms and body “I’ll take it from here my child.” says my great aunt Ursula’s voice. Draven gets a panicked look on his face realizing how increasingly powerful the ball of energy was getting. He then says in a panicked voice “No, it can’t be. I haven’t seen that much power being exerted since…Ursula?” With quickness and ease my Aunt shifts the ball towards Draven who could no longer keep the ball away from him due to how powerful it had become causing it to explode in a black firey explosion right in front of him, engulfing him into the explosion completely destroying him with only his red jeweled necklace being the only remnant of him.

They're freed from the prison they were in, they’re safe now. I glance in their direction and see the guys turning back to their vampire forms and see Seonghwa running towards me that’s when my legs give up and Seonghwa manages to catch me before I fall to the ground. “I’m so happy you’re okay.” He holds me tight in his arms. I weakly smile and reach over to stroke his cheek, his skin being soft and cool to the touch something that even now I’m still not used to. “I’m so proud of you y/n, he’s gone now and won’t ever bother us again. We can finally live in peace now.” The guys catch up with us and San sits next to me and says in a panicked voice “Miss y/n? Is she okay?” I hear my aunt Ursula say “It’s time for me to go my child, my work here is done. Don’t be scared. Everything will be okay.” My eyes begin to tear up then I say in a soft voice “Hwa, I love you.” He softly smiles and says “I love you too my love..” My body glows a faint blue color and the energy slowly begins to leave my body, a little panicked Seonghwa looks over at Yeosang and says “Yeosang, what’s happening?..”

Yeosang glances at me giving me a sad expression then looks over at Seonghwa and says “Her Aunt’s power essence is leaving her body and since her powers never awakened her body won’t be able to handle it so once the essence is gone so is she.” Wooyoung grabs Yeosang’s shoulders and says “So you mean she’s going to die?!” Yeosang uncomfortably nods then Seonghwa strokes my hair and begins to panic “No, no, no is there a way to fix this? y/n please. You can’t leave me.” He rests his forehead on mine for a few seconds then Hongjoong says “What if you give her some of your blood?” Yeosang then continues “Yes, our blood is healing to humans in small doses, Miss y/n is still human since her powers never awoke.” Hongjoong walks behind Seonghwa and gently pats his back “You can still save her that way but that’s all up to you.”

Seonghwa lifts his head and says in a low tone “Mingi, I need the silver blade.” Mingi looks over at Yunho slightly concerned then he pulls out the blade from his inside pocket and passes it to Seonghwa while Jongho quietly sits next to San and whispers under his breath “Please, this has to work.” San then gently pats Jongho’s back trying to comfort him. Everyone was dead silent while I lay there unable to move due to my body being in inmense pain slowly feeling heavier and weaker by the second. So tempting to just let myself go. “Hwa-.” I feel so weak, I feel tired. I can't even speak.Is this what death is like?  I blink trying to keep my eyes from closing but it was so hard. They say when you’re about to die that life flashes through your eyes but it doesn’t, it just slows down so you can savor the last bit of mortality you have left.

 Seonghwa puts me in Jongho’s arms while he takes off his waist length blazer, he rolls up his sleeve then grabs the silver blade and makes a deep gash on the palm of his hand and almost immediately black blood begins to flow out of his wound. He immediately hovers his arm over my mouth and lets his dark blood fall into it with a bit of it dripping onto my lips and chin, the taste being exactly what you’d expect from regular blood to taste, very salty and metallic. As much as the thought of me drinking blood nauseates me, the desire to live and stay by Seonghwa’s side helps me keep it down and I slowly let the blood trickle down my throat. A few moments later after ingesting the blood, the blue essence fully disappears and my eyes become so unbearbaly heavy until it goes completely black.

“She’s not moving…Is she dead?” Wooyoung furrows his eyebrows, Yeosang hushes Wooyoung and reaches over to grab her wrist to check on her pulse “She’s dead, but she’ll come back. Remember she was bitten by Draven, so we just partially completed her transformation by giving her Seonghwa’s blood..” Jongho gently sets y/n down on the ground while Hongjoong squats next to Yeosang “So are you saying Seonghwa’s her sire now?” Yeosang nods thickly swallowing while Hongjoong glances at Seonghwa “I trust you’ll be responsible about this…” Seonghwa gazes down at y/n with a determined look gently stroking her cheek with his thumb “I promise you, I’m not who I once was. I promised I would be better, and disappointing her is the last thing I want. If that means giving her free will then so be it.”

Hongjoong reaches over and pats Seonghwa’s shoulder giving him a small smile “You’ve grown alot, I’m sure Sir Jongkook would be proud if he saw you now.” Seonghwa nods biting the inside of his lip trying to hold in his tears. Mingi finally speaks up ��So just making sure you won’t take advantage of her right? You won’t ever choose for her?” Seonghwa glances up at Mingi who was looking down at him slightly worried “Of course not, I don’t think I have it in me to do it.” San gasps and peeks behind Yeosang’s shoulder “Look! She’s waking up!” Hongjoong hushes San while Yeosang says “Someone needs to bring her blood to feed on…She’s going to be really hungry.” Yunho responds “We have some blood bags back home will that do?” Hongjoong shakes his head “No, she has to feed from a human when she feeds for the first time, it has to be pure from the source.” San furrows his eyebrows “I don’t think that’s a good idea, she might not be comfortable with that.” Wooyoung signals at y/n with his eyes “We’ll have her choose, like Seonghwa said we’re not going to force her to do anything thing she doesn’t want to.” 

 Slowly I open my eyes, I see the guys gathered around me cautiously watching me. I don’t know how to explain it but everything felt more “lively” my sense of smell and hearing feel much more sharp as I’m now able to smell the incense and the smell of mildew very strongly. My eyesight is much more clearer than before which made everything have a much more vibrant look to it. I feel different, what exactly happened? Was I healed with Seonghwa’s blood? Why do I still feel like shit at the same time? Seonghwa sighs deeply lowering his head. He then lifts his gaze in my direction and pulls me in for a hug, it was one of longest and tightest hugs that I’ve ever received from him but none the less I felt his urge and need for this hug. He buries his face on the side of my neck and huffs "Thank God." When he pulls back I look at his gorgeous face and noticed he’s crying, it looked like blood. I slightly panic and hold Seonghwa’s face in my hands looking at the blood. “Oh my gosh are you crying blood? Are you okay?” I gently wipe them away while I look into his beautiful emerald eyes. He slowly leans in and kisses my forehead and hugs me tightly “ I am my love, this is just how us vampires cry. It’s not as beautiful as they make it seem in movies but I’m glad you’re okay now.”

I rest my head on his shoulder and shut my eyes to hold back tears, my voice slightly getting a little low due to the knot in my throat “I’m sorry I worried you, I just didn’t want you or the rest to get hurt I did what I could to help because he was seriously planning on hurting all of you and If I didn’t do something I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” I pull back then he gives me a warm smile with his thumb gently stroking my cheek “Hey, no don’t cry. See? We all made it out alive, don't worry my love. We all live to serve you now, we owe you.” I look over and see the guys were patiently looking at both Seonghwa and I with a small smile on their faces. “So I have a question..I feel weird. Like my eyesight is oddly good and my sense of smell and hearing is also very good. Does your blood really just cure all of that?” Seonghwa pushes back a strand of my hair and looks down sighing softly “I- My love, I had to turn you in order to save you.” My stomach drops and I reach for my chest only to feel nothing. No heartbeat, just stillness. I’m fucking dead. What the fuck? My breathing speeds up while I reach up to cover my mouth in shock. Seonghwa reaches over to me and hugs me “I’m so sorry.” I was not expecting this..Not the dyling part but the whole being a vampire thing makes sense now. “So I’m one of you guys now?”

They all nervously look at me and nod in silence then Yeosang says “You were turned due to Draven’s bite when we tried to save you by giving you Seonghwa's blood." I mean I'm not shocked I died, I'm just shocked I was turned into one of them. Yeosang continues cautiously “Since you consumed Seonghwa’s blood, he now sires you.” I hold my hand up “Please don’t tell me what that means, that sounds bad…” Hongjoong chuckles “It’s just a fancy way of saying you have a bond of loyalty with him since he turned you into one of us..” I slowly nod “Ah, I guess I understand now.” Seonghwa gently pats my head “My love you need to feed on blood, would you like to go hunt or is bagged blood okay?” I furrow my brows “Wait, you’re calling it hunt because the person dies right?” Everyone looks at each other in silence not having the heart to say anything until Wooyoung blurts out laughing “Yes y/n they die, that’s why it’s called hunting..” I shake my head “No, I’m good with bagged blood then.” Hongjoong furrows his brows “Wh-” I shake my head “No. I’m sorry I can’t do it.” Yeosang raises his eyebrow and utters “Well, I can’t say I’m shocked by her answer but I saw this coming.”

San chuckles “Honestly I find it adorable, besides it never said anywhere that you need to drink straight from the source right Seonghwa? As long as it’s human blood she’ll be okay.” He nods “Although it might not be the most traditional way of finishing the transformation San is correct, as far as I know she should be fine not having to drink blood from a hunt as long as it’s human blood.” Jongho shrugs “As long as she’s comfortable I don’t think it should matter.” Hongjoong nods “Bagged blood it is then..”

 Jongho helps me up and immediately after that Wooyoung and San give me a big hug with San saying “You were really cool defeating Draven Miss y/n.” Wooyoung then says “I’m sure Seonghwa thought it was cool too. Right?” He winks at me with a huge smirk on his face while looking over at Seonghwa. I nervously laugh gently patting Wooyoung's shoulder "You really like to instigate things don't you?" Jongho walks over to me and holds both my hands and smiles “I’m glad your liveliness returned to you Miss y/n, you may not have the warmth of a human anymore but your smile is much more meaningful because you’re alive...” I nod and smile while I fix his collar and dust off his shoulder from debris. “I’m glad it came back too or I wouldn’t have been able to hear your beautiful singing anymore, it’s one of the few things I love in this world, you know besides my family, Seonghwa, or my friends..” His eyebrows slightly rise in surprise and gives me a bright gummy smile. Both Hongjoong and Yeosang stand up almost instanttaniously after Jongho backs away and walk over to me. Hongjoong looks at me deep in the eyes with a very kind look in his eyes, completely different from the deranged and evil look he had when I first met him.

“What Seonghwa said is correct, you saved our lives and for that we are indebted to you. If I’m being honest I don’t think we would have been able to defeat Draven alone as our powers are not sufficient, we came here fully expecting not to make it out and only came here to try and save you not just on Seonghwa’s account but everyone here as well because the short time we’ve all spent with you we grew to care for you. Thank you for helping us defeat the entity who’s made our entire immortal lives a living nightmare.” Yeosang clasps his hands together in front of his body and shyly smiles “I hope you realize how much you’ve changed everyone's life here for the better Miss y/n, thank you.” I shake my head and a nervous smile makes its way onto my expression. “No need to thank me seriously, it’s what friends do. You guys have changed my life too, especially Seonghwa. I didn’t know I was capable of loving and being loved by someone so deeply. I also didn't know how deserving I was of having friends who care for me and enjoy my prescence.” I look back at Seonghwa who was looking at me admiringly and he gently kisses my temple. I continue by saying “So you really don’t have to feel indebted to me, just being friends is enough for me.”

Hongjoong looks over at Mingi then tilts his head “What about Mingi?” I swallow hard, I knew this was going to come up eventually. Mingi props his glasses behind his head and looks at me with pleading eyes almost like he was begging me not to reveal our interaction. “Of course, even if I’m still a bit scared I still consider him a friend. I can’t judge him harshly because even after all these years being a new vampire is very hard. I guess I’m seeing proof of that right now seeing I’m not feeling to well right now.. Not to mention that misunderstanding we had all started because of me so I can't blame him for getting upset.” Mingi’s piercing ruby colored eyes lock onto my gaze and without breaking eye contact he walks up behind Hongjoong and Yeosang walking in between them, easily towering over both of them. “I know I’ve given you more reasons to hate me than to trust me but thank you for not only saving us but for wanting to be my friend even after what I did to you. Being upset wasn’t an excuse for almost taking a life and neither is hating you over something out of your control." I smile and extend my hand towards Mingi “Friends?” He happily smiles with his eyes turning into tiny crescents and extends his arm and shakes my hand firmly, almost a little too excitedly “Friends.” I notice Yunho standing behind Mingi quietly then I say “Master Yunho, we’re friends too right? Remember when we cleaned up the chapel? Wasn’t that fun?” A small smile grows on his puppy like facial expression almost like he’s remembering the day.

“Of course we’re friends Miss y/n, that day was actually one of the most fun days I’ve had. Who knew cleaning could be fun, especially with a friend.” His voice trails off and and his expression falls back to a more serious one then he looks down and closes his eyes for a second and lets out a sigh. He lifts his head back up again and stipples his fingers for a few seconds then shoves his hands back under his cape. “I’m sorry about the way I acted towards you Miss y/n, I was just trying to protect my best friend. I hope you understand. Everyone was just ganging up on Mingi and I just couldn’t have that happen. He's my best friend.” I shake my head  “No, it’s okay I understand. There’s no hard feelings I promise.” Yunho cocks an eyebrow giving me a confused look “So you’re not mad? Are you sure?” I nod “Nope, I know where you’re coming from because I would have done the same thing.” Wooyoung smirks as he gently nudges Yunho’s arm  “See? Miss y/n is one of the sweetest people. I see why Seonghwa was persistent in finding her.” San turns into his cat form and meows for me to pick him up. I look down and pick San up and hold him in my arms while I scratch behind his ear then I say “So, how are we going to get home? I’m kinda feeling that hunger you guys are always talking about.” The guys look at each other awkwardly then Seonghwa says “Well, here’s the problem. We exerted so much energy into the hourglass that opens the portal to get here that it was destroyed..” I gasp and smile excitedly “Ooh! Maybe Astra can help us!” I look around for Astra but she’s nowhere to be found “Astra?”

Yeosang then says a bit cautiously almost like he didn’t want me to get disappointed “Astra is gone Miss y/n. She’s gone along with your Aunt’s powers, your familiar will return once you’re able to awaken your powers.” I disappointedly look down and San rubs his tiny head on my cheek to comfort me while Seonghwa gently squeezes my shoulder and kisses the top of my head. “It’s okay my love, Astra will be back one day don’t worry.” Mingi then says “How about we look at the guards’ shed. They’re not able to open portals unless they have those portal crystals, remember most of Draven’s guards are mortals so they’re easily replaceable except of course the higher ranking guards who are just lower level demons. We also need to get Sir Jongkook's ashes from Draven's bedroom...” Hongjoong snaps his fingers and says “Good idea, the shed is near the entrance. Wooyoung and Yunho go get Sir Jongkook's ashes and Jongho, come with me to the shed.. Everyone else wait here we’ll be back...” 

After a while goes by of me playing with San, Seonghwa and the rest of the guys talk for a while then we see Hongjoong come back with Jongho carrying some sort of big black bags filled with something presumably the crystals. While Yunho and Wooyoung come back with their creator's ashes. The urn being gunmetal in color with beautiful intricate sculped details with a beautiful carved crest with an hourglass in the center. Seeing the urn makes a big knot grow in my throat. it's intresting i'm in the presence of the man who created these vampires almost 500 years ago. I wonder how old he would have been now? It must have been emotional seeing his ashes for the first time in a long time.

Yeosang slightly squints his eyes and says “What’s in the bags? Is all of that Portal Quartz?” Hongjoong walks over to Yeosang and gives him a clear crystal that almost resembles glass, with the distinguishing features of the bottom half of the crystal having hundreds of tiny crystals encapsulated within the crystal giving it a very glittery appearance.  “Yep, we have enough crystals for a while, now that our hourglass is broken. Now let’s all charge it.” Everyone hovers their hand over the crystal then San jumps out of my arms and turns back into his vampire form and lays his hand on top that’s when the crystal shines brightly almost like the crystal was creating its own light of its own this continues for a few more seconds until the crystal was left with a soft glowy light and while Hongjoong holds it out in front of him he says “Unveil!” The glowing rock creates a golden portal and before stepping in he puts the glowing rock in his jacket’s pocket.

Everyone begins to walk into the portal clearly very happy we were finally heading home. That's when I feel something telling me to look back, immediately I locate the glint from Draven’s jeweled necklace in the distance and run back to pick it up. I carefully examine the piece and notice the beautiful rubies are still in place like nothing ever happened. This will be my constant reminder to work hard and get my powers. I need to free them from their curse. Seonghwa’s voice then chimes in and says “y/n, my love? Are you coming?” I nod and hurriedly walk back to Seonghwa and enter the portal instantly leading us back home. As soon as we were home, I feel a sense of peace knowing nothing was out to get us anymore and that my favorite person in the whole wide world is safe. Now, I need some of that bagged blood right about now. I’m starving.

☽ ──── ༺𖤐༻ ──── ☾

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[strawberryscorner]

Forgotten Sins Chapter 1

Tags: Amnesia, Stockholm Syndrome, Drug Use (Bliss), Religious Cults, Fluff and Angst, Car Accidents, Family Member Death, Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation

Note: Hey, I just wanted to let you all know some things before reading this story, This is a reader-insert and it is written in the second person but she has/you have amnesia from the events in the first chapter so when asked your name, you can't respond with the "Y/N" answer so you'll get the name Dawn.

Also, I'm not from America so if British words slip in, forgive me because the character/you are meant to be American since it's Far Cry 5.

Other than that, have fun! (also, let me know if I missed something in the tags at any point of the story!)

Series Masterlist

Almost as soon as your dad drives past the Welcome to Hope County sign, the radio started playing a song about letting the water wash away your sins.

"What is this garbage?" he asked, going to turn the radio off but your mom smacked his hand away.

"It's what you need with that gambling addiction of yours," she said, returning to her phone, "no signal." She put the phone down and looked out the window.

"It's pretty cute here," you said, looking out your window.

"Pretty cute?" your dad asks. "There's nothing here!"

You roll your eyes and keep focusing on what's outside your window. Your dad always was a bit grumpy on these road trips, yet it was always him who insisted on taking them, good for family bonding. Now that you were an adult and had moved out long ago and your brother was going off to college, it was time for another road trip. While your dad and mom argued about the quickest way to your destination that your parents kept secret to add to the fun, you started humming along to the radio.

"Where even are we?" your mom asked.

"Holland Valley, well, just left it according to this sign," your dad said.

You see a shirtless man with the words greed and wrath tattooed on his torso running from a group of people, they're all shooting at each other.

"Is that real?" your brother asked, hearing the gunshots.

"Look away!" your dad yells at us as the shirtless man fell to the ground. You turn to look out the window on your brother's side but there were people with guns running towards the car, most likely to fight the people on the other side of your vehicle.

"Oh God, what is that?" your mother asked, pointing at a man with a beard and a red shirt that had been cut into a vest held up what looked like a rocket launcher, though you couldn't be too sure, you'd only ever seen them in video games. You see a rocket heading towards the car, no one has time to get out before it hits.

__________________

You wake up, one hand handcuffed to the railing of the bed you're laying on. The other hand goes up to touch your pounding head, only resulting in more pain so you quickly remove your hand. There isn't much in the room with you, just the bed you're laying on, a table and a chair.

"Ah good, you're finally awake," a man with long brown hair and a bushy beard said, pulling the chair closer to the bed before sitting down.

"Awake?" your throat was painfully dry and your voice came out weak, almost as a raspy whisper.

"You've been out for a while, a few weeks," he said, "weren't too sure you'd make it, no one else did."

"Made what? Who else?"

"What's your name?" he asked.

You thought about it for a while but couldn't remember, "I don't know," you answer honestly.

"Guess the accident messed with your brain more than we thought," he mumbled, "how about we call you Dawn?"

You don't know what to say, that's probably not close to whatever your name was but you couldn't remember so arguing against it seemed pointless. Eventually, you just nod your head, accepting your new name.

"Well, Dawn, you and what we assume to be your family were in the wrong place at the wrong time," he said. "You see, we got somewhat of a war going on here, a cult leader who calls himself The Father is trying to take over Hope County. Save us from what he calls The Collapse that he knows will happen because God told him. My people were captured by fucking Peggies - his followers. Now is the part that affects you, you and your family got in the crossfire between my people and the Peggies, well, they had a rocket launcher, fired it at you. We pulled you out of the car, but your family all died, your mom was already dead in the car, and your dad and brother died here later. I'm sorry."

You tried to remember it but you couldn't, you couldn't even remember your family, their names, faces, voices nothing.

"Why don't I remember?" you ask.

"You hit your head pretty hard, you might remember at some point but you may also never get your memory back," he shrugged.

"What's your name?" you ask.

"I'm Eli."

He stood up and took out a small key, "Am I right in assuming you won't be a danger?"

You nodded. While you had no memory to be sure, you didn't feel dangerous. He unlocked the handcuff.

"You can stay in here for a while, Hurk is right outside this door. Hurk get in here," a man with a beard and a red shirt walked in, he seemed familiar but you couldn't remember why.

"Do I know you?" you asked.

"No," Eli answered for the man, "but Hurk here will help you if you want to walk around."

With that, both men leave you alone in the room. 

You stayed in bed for a while, thinking about everything Eli had told you, trying to remember anything from any point in your life but you couldn't. You were thankful you seemed to remember your language and how to talk. Now, you needed to see if you were strong enough to be able to walk. Don't fall flat on your face, you thought to yourself before sitting in the bed, your feet touching the ground. You closed your eyes and held your hands out in front of you as you slowly stood up, when you did instantly fall, you slowly opened your eyes. You take a deep breath before attempting to take your first step, it was wobbly, and you fall forward but you're able to catch yourself on the chair Eli was sitting on earlier. You thought about calling for Hurk to help you walk but you wanted to do it on your own, your legs just needed to wake up, Eli did say you were out for a few weeks, naturally, your legs would be weak like your voice was. After a few seconds, you dare try again, letting go of the chair and pushing it a bit in front of you so you can use it to catch yourself again if needed. Which you did.

"Shit," you say to yourself, but it comes out more of a whisper. "Hurk?" you call out as loud as you can but it doesn't come out very loud and he doesn't come in so it's safe to assume he couldn't hear you. Well, I can still stand, you thought before getting up from the chair and throwing it at the door.

"Dude, are you okay?" Hurk said, throwing the door open, holding a gun, "whoa, sorry about calling you dude, I don't want to assume nothin' but I call everyone dude so I don't mean no disrespect or nothin'-"

"I can't walk," you interrupt him, not really caring to hear more of this odd apology when you just want to walk.

"What do you mean you can't walk?" he asks. You take a step forward and fall, he catches you and helps you back to your feet.

You make it outside with Hurk's help, he's pointing to everyone who walks by, telling you their names, what they usually do around here and how fun they are to talk to on a scale of "better to talk to Monkey King than them to actually a good listener, they're fine"  as you drink a glass of water.

"Where are we?" you ask.

"We're in Whitetail Mountains," he answers.

"Where are my family?" he looks to his feet when you ask that, "I know they're dead. Eli told me. But what happened to their bodies?"

"I'm not really sure," he scratched the back of his head, going quiet. You hadn't known him long at all but hadn't known him to do that.

"Well, what about the Pennys?"

"Pennys?" he looks confused for a while.

"The cult?"

Hurk laughs, "you mean Peggies."

"Yeah, Peggies."

"They're followers of the big guy, not Monkey King, the other big guy. You know, I almost joined 'em. They had guns, food, fine ass women, why wouldn't you join?" he paused, looking at you and when you didn't say anything, he continued. "Well, I didn't join because o' all these rules you have to follow, no partyin', no fornicatin' - that means fuckin', didn't sound so fun after that so I went home."

He was going to keep talking until a radio started making noise. He excused himself and took a few steps away.

"You want to know about the cult, sweetheart?" an older lady in jeans and a pink blouse asked.

"Yes," you said.

"I'm Adelaide, you are?"

"I'm Dawn," you said, remembering Eli's name for you.

"Well, Dawn, the cult has pretty much taken over Hope County, brainwashed everyone into believing the world is going to end and only Joseph Seed can save their souls. They take you in, make you confess your sins through torture then continue to torture you either by forcing you to make that Bliss shit until you lose your damn mind or by training you to be a soldier, ain't been many survivors to tell us how it goes but we can assume it's not pleasant."

"And people join willingly?" you ask, thinking back to what Hurk said.

"They do, some completely willingly, either with or without the knowledge of what the cult does, or some join willingly but after some tough persuasion.

And some join because they're idiots like my boy," she moves her head towards Hurk.

"You're Hurk's mother?"

"I am," she smiled.

"Come with me, we got a job," he said, interrupting our conversation.

"Me?" you asked, seeing him looking at you instead of his mother.

"Yeah, don't worry, it's not a big job, just collectin' some meat then droppin' it off," he got in a truck.

"Collecting meat? From where?"

"We're going huntin', you been huntin' before?"

"I don't know."

"I can teach you."

On the way to where he wanted to hunt, he spoke about his relationship with his father, it didn't sound like a very good one. It made you wonder what yours was like, maybe you'd remember one day. Instead, you smiled and hummed when it was appropriate. He didn't give you much time to speak.

"Here we are," he said, stopping the car and handing you a gun. "There's a lot of Caribou here?"

"Caribou?"

"You'll know it when you see it, they're hard to miss."

"Why are we hunting this thing?" you ask.

"For food, we gotta eat, don't we?" he laughed as you nodded.

You walk behind Hurk, he was telling you about the parts of the gun and how to shoot it. You had a hard time following what he was saying but he assured you it would come easy when you had to actually take the shot. You walked for a while without seeing anything more than trees but eventually, Hurk stopped you.

"There, see it?" he points towards a big animal with horns.

"That's a Caribou?" he nodded. "We're meant to kill that?" he nodded again. He really was crazy.

"Won't it attack us? With those horns?"

"What? Nah, 'course not. They ain't predators, they'll just run away."

You nodded, watching as he raised his gun. Part of you wanted to stop him from shooting the animal but he was right before, you do have to eat and you saw quite a lot of people to feed at the bunker. He shot the animal, but it didn't die.

"Shit, I missed," the animal ran off and Hurk chased it, not knowing what else to do, you ran after Hurk. Eventually, the Caribou slowed down near a lake. Hurk managed to kill it there.

"You stay here, I'll go get the truck." You turned your back to the animal, not wanting to see the corpse. The lake and trees were beautiful so you focused on them until you heard tires. You expected to see Hurk but were surprised to see three men with tattoos that said Wrath, Lust and Pride on each of them.

"What are you doing here, sinner?" One of the men asked, pulling his gun out but keeping it by his side.

"Nothing," you said, backing away, "hunting."

The men laugh at you but stop once you hear more tires, before anyone can react Hurk drives over the two men in front of you. One of the men flew over the truck while the other one is trapped underneath. The third man makes it back to his car and drove away. The man under the truck was probably already dead or at least it seemed that way since he wasn't moving or making any sound. The man who flew over the truck tries to get back up but is shot by Hurk.

"Alright, let's get that thing on the back and head off," Hurk said, lifting the animal. All you can do is watch. He just killed a man; sure he had a gun but you didn't expect Hurk to be so okay with killing two people. Even if he did kill the animal, that was different, that was to eat, this was for nothing? 

"Why did you kill them?" you ask.

"Well, they're Peggies," he said, getting back into the truck after loading the corpse onto it. They're Peggies, that's the only reason. Based on what you had been told, it was Joseph that was bad, the Peggies were just brainwashed but apart from that, you hadn't heard much. What Hurk did seemed worse than just not partying or training. Adelaide did mention torture as well but if Hurk could kill a man so easily, maybe they weren't telling the whole truth or maybe they just weren't any better than the Peggies?

"You gettin' in or what?" Hurk called from the driver's seat. You didn't want to but felt you had no choice; you didn't want to be left out here.

"Where are we going?"

"Chad Wolanski, he's a cool guy but can't understand him for shit though," he said. He speeds there, explaining he doesn't want to bump into any more Peggies.

"We're here!" Hurk calls out, getting out of the truck and you hear a man grumbling. Hurk lifts the Caribou out of the truck, sort of dragging it around the house. "Hey Chad, got a new member with me."

Chad mumbles something that sounds like hello.

"Hello, I'm Dawn," it felt slightly less strange to call yourself Dawn this time.

Chad and Hurk started talking while helping each other with the meat. You weren't sure how Hurk understood what Chad was saying, only one word per sentence was said loud and semi-clear enough to make out and the rest was mumbled and jumbled together. You kept yourself preoccupied with looking at the scenery. The radio was on and started playing a song about letting the water wash away your sins, it felt familiar and you easily hummed along. It made Chad mumble something angrily to Hurk.

"I don't know, I never had the radio on," Hurk answered, also raising his voice at Chad.

"Hey," Hurk called for you, "how you know that song?" 

"I don't know, it just sounds familiar somehow," you answered, unsure what the problem was, neither man said anything, just mumbled something to themselves. 

"Let's head back," Hurk said, saying goodbye to Chad.

Hurk was awfully quiet while driving, you reached for the radio, tired of the silence and not knowing how to fill it. Before you could turn it on a car drove in front of yours, making Hurk have to hit the brakes.

"Whoa, shit," he said, "are you okay?" 

"I'm fine, you?" 

"Yeah," he took his belt off and picked up his gun, "fucking Peggies. Come on."

You got out of the car with him. You stayed crouching behind your open door, Hurk moving forward. It was going well for him until, "Hurk, behind you!" You yelled but he didn't react on time, a Peggie from behind him hit him on the back of his head with their gun, knocking him out. You notice it's the Peggie who escaped after Hurk ran his friends over.

"Are you going to come with us willing, sinner, or are we going to have to make you?" the one from earlier asked you.

"I'll go," you said, standing with your hands up, scared of what they'd do if you didn't go willingly since two of them had their guns pointed toward you.

"Good choice," he said, his friends putting their guns down.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Warning: Angst, sadness, a happy ending, though. It's pretty long, too.

Steve doesn't tell the party about his dreams. He wasn't sure if they were nightmares or. . . something else. They all start and end the same way. He's walking that path in the upside down like they did before, talking and laughing with Eddie leaning in close. That doesn't change, but sometimes it does. Sometimes, it's Eddie still begging him to go to Nancy. Other times, it's Eddie calling to him, begging Steve to choose him, that he's right here. There are quite a few where Eddie still says the same thing about Nancy, but then it is Steve who is the one changing it up.

"I don't want Nancy, Eddie, I want you," Steve would say softly and then Eddie is moving away from him with Steve trying to reach out, to grab him.

The dream ends with Steve lying in bed and Eddie hovering over him, floating inches from his face.

"I'm still here, big boy, come and get me," Eddie smirked and then kissed him.

Steve would wake up, chasing the kiss, and the tears would burst out of him when he realized that wasn't there. It's been months since his death since they defeated Vecna. Everyone moved on, so why couldn't he? Well, everyone except Wayne, that is, and Dustin was moving forward, but he was also still having trouble with it. It was difficult, but every Friday night, Steve went with Dustin to have dinner with Wayne to let him know that he wasn't alone.

One evening, it was just him and Wayne, Dustin had been sick. They ate dinner in front of the TV and discussed sports, and then they talked about Eddie. With a smile on his face, Wayne would tell Steve how much like Eddie Dustin is, and then they would exchange stories about them as if to compare. Wayne would tell him about how Eddie, even though he didn't like sports, he would sit here with Wayne as he drew in his sketchbook or his d&d notebook. He didn't like sports, but he always made sure Wayne didn't have to watch it alone. Steve had been quick to offer to watch it with him, and Wayne laughed before pulling him into a hug.

Eventually, he was seeing Wayne twice a week for dinner and sports. He would get to hear all about Eddie, from the time he was a baby and up. Apparently, he was always a dramatic, energetic person who had a penchant for storytelling even when he was a toddler. He would just babble and wave his arms around. Wayne had helped look after him since he was a baby, one of the greatest joys of his life. After a moment, Wayne had paused and asked why Steve seemed to eat up stories about Eddie.

"I was too late. . .too late in getting to know him, and I wish that I had because he could have. . .I think he could have been. . .he could have been something," Steve had choked up. "We could have been something."

"I loved my brother, but he was a goddamn idiot who didn't know what he had. Eddie's mother. . .she met him first and so, she fell in love with him. When I met her, well, I thought I had met an angel. My brother, all he saw was someone that he could use. . .manipulate. Some days I wished that I had met her first and other days I am glad I didn't because her choice gave me Eddie. Most of all, I wished that I had told her about how I felt when she was alive. We both waited too long, and we both paid the price for it. You're not alone in that," Wayne had told him, and Steve hugged him. 

He remembered crying hard that night just as he was crying now. He had made a confession that night, something he had never told anyone. Not even Robin. Speaking of Robin, he had to get up to get ready for work. She had taken off a year for him, even though he had told her that wasn't necessary. Robin and the others never seemed to believe him when he said that he was fine. He ate, stayed in shape, went to work, and ferried everyone like usual. Maybe they didn't like the hair and the beard. His hair was longer, tickling his shoulders, and the beard. . . Well, it was more than a five o'clock shadow, hugging his face. So, what if he stopped using his product in his hair? He didn't see the point anymore.

"Well, that was rude," Robin spoke softly as she leaned against the counter.

They had been in the middle of their shift when a girl had walked in and tried to talk him up. He thought he had been gentle with her.

"Was that not nice?" Steve asked.

"The words were nice, your face, however. . .," Robin trailed off. "You know that was the first girl in a long time that had the balls to approach you. Every other girl who tried, you would growl and grump at. I mean, you literally growled at a couple of them."

"I'm just not interested," Steve replied.

"Yeah, why is that again? Is because of Nancy? No, that can't be it," Robin said. "You've been like this since Eddie died. If I didn't know any better, I'd say - "

"What do you want, Robin?!" Steve asked as he slammed a tape down.

"I want Steve back, and you're not him. You're like an empty shell except for when you're with Wayne. Dustin tells me that it's almost like you're you again when you're at dinner. I miss you, Steve. We all do.  I miss my best friend. I wish you could talk to me," Robin said, teary eyes.

"I'm right here, Robin," Steve replied.

"No, Steve, you're not," Robin told him and walked into the backroom.

When Steve got home, haunted by Robin's words, he looked in the mirror. For the first time, he could see what Robin saw. A man who didn't care. Who couldn't care. The bags under his eyes were a deep purple, and there was barely any light in his eyes, none at all. The beard wasn't bad but the hair. . .ugh, it needed a good wash. The length looked good, at least. Maybe he should grow it out some more. He looked into his eyes again and winced. They were haunted. . .

Dustin was crying over Eddie's bloody body when they got to him, and it was like a punch to his gut. When Steve saw Eddie's unseeing big brown eyes, he fell to his knees and tried to bring him back. It sucked, he thought, for a first kiss. Does it really count, though? All he could think, as Nancy and Robin pulled him away, was about how much he had failed. He failed Dustin, and he failed Eddie.

Steve let out a scream and punched the mirror. He was slow, always too slow. He was too slow to save Eddie and was too slow to realize what was truly important. His hand was bleeding, and he sighed before pulling out the glass, then put a stop to the bleeding. They had just left his body there. It was probably eaten by the demogorgons now. . .if they were still alive. It was a thought that ate at his own insides every single day. He had to know, had to end this even if it was a suicide mission. He shaved his beard, took a shower, and waited for night to fall completely.

After Vecna was destroyed and Max was brought back from the brink of death, her sight mostly intact, the town stitched itself back together. . . For the most part. There was only one gate left open, and that was the gate in Eddie's old trailer. No one knows why that gate is still open, but it's guarded, and no one lives in the trailer park anymore. It was loosely guarded at night, Steve would go there sometimes and watch it, as if he were guarding it himself. Or maybe he was always waiting for something big to happen. Steve showed up, geared up like he had been that day with the brown leather jacket, but this time he had thrown Eddie's vest over top of it. His hair was long enough that he could pull it into a small ponytail at the base of his skull. With a determined look on his face, he slipped into the trailer through the back window and paused inside Eddie's room. Wayne had taken most of his stuff, but not all. There were still some signs that Eddie Munson had lived there.

He took a moment and headed into the living room where the gate was waiting for him. He was going to bring his body back. He knew what kind of state it would be in when he got there, but he didn't care. He was going to bring it home. . .bring Eddie home and maybe then. . . .maybe then Steve will get some closure. Maybe then he'll get some sleep. Suddenly, a vine shot out and wrapped itself around Steve’s waist, pulling him into the Upside Down. Steve screamed as he was set gently on the floor of the trailer, and he looked up to find. . . Barb is standing over him.

"Hey, Harrington, took you long enough," Barb's voice spoke teasingly. "Been calling you for months now."

"What the fuck?" Steve asked and Barb laughed, her skin gray.

She went on to explain that she was both Barb and not Barb. She explained that part of Barb was preserved in the Upside Down. There were more things that Barbish had explained, but he had stopped listening after she told him that Eddie was alive.

"Bring me to him," Steve had demanded, and so she did.

Funnily enough, Eddie was lying in Steve's house in Steve's bed. A funky looking vine was down his throat, almost as if he were on life support.

"His wounds have healed, and you can take him home. We can not keep the gate open for much longer. We are still rebuilding," Barbish said. "We were never meant to cause harm. That was our number one rule. Henry came to us. We thought, we thought he was of need and we took care of him, but then he took advantage of our kindness, and he twisted our animals to become something evil, to serve his purpose. We didn't have the power to stop him, nor could we break our own law. We couldn't save Barb while also protecting the boy from Henry's influence, so Barb decided for us. She made the choice to save the boy.  When Eddie fell, we saw a chance to make things right. We tried to call out to you, but we didn't understand until now how deep a denial goes when you see something as fact."

"Can I take the tube out?" Steve asked, tears falling, and Barbish nodded.

He pulled the tube out, and Eddie took a breath without waking up. Steve caressed his cheek and cried when he felt his pulse beneath his fingertips.

"Steve, can you give Nancy something from me?" Barbish asked, holding a letter out to him. "Tell her I said I'm sorry. Also. . .you're not as bad I thought you were."

"Can't you come with us?" Steve asked.

"I can't. Not all Barb, remember? I'm part of the Upside Down now. That's what you call it, right?" Barbish asked. "Cute. Now, get the hell out of here. Please."

Steve tucked the note safely into his pocket and picked Eddie up into his arms. He was transported through the gate safely by the vines again, Eddie safely tucked against him and watched as the gate closed behind them after they left. He frowned when he thought about how he was going to do this to get Eddie out of the trailer. He set Eddie down gently and pulled the mattress off of Wayne's old foldout, and managed to squeeze it out the back window. He picked Eddie up and tossed him out the window, wincing. He looked out the window and saw him sprawled out on the mattress. He still wasn't awake. Steve breathed a sigh of relief and climbed out carefully before picking up Eddie again. He threw him over his shoulder and hurried as quietly as he could to his could. He was pulling out when the guards came running around back.

As soon as he entered his house, he brought Eddie upstairs to get him cleaned up. He wasn't going to be a pervert or anything, but he knew those clothes must be sticking to him. He had managed to remove the jacket, but he had to cut off the shirt. He was tossing away the remains when he heard it.

"Damn, Harrington, if you wanted me out of my clothes, all you had to do was ask," Eddie's voice croaked.

Steve turned around to find Eddie blinking sleepily at him. He had shifted some and was now leaning against the bathtub. Steve collapsed next to him, burrowed his face into his neck, and sobbed. It was embarrassing how much he had cried until Eddie hugged him back and cried even harder than him. Steve pulled back, and everything that happened over the last year came bursting out of him. He told him how hard it was to move forward, how he dreamed about him every night, and how he and Dustin took care of Wayne. He told him how fucking mad he was at Eddie that he didn't stick to the plan and how mad he was that Steve himself was too slow.

"Thank you," Eddie said quietly.

"For what?" He asked.

"For taking care of Uncle Wayne," Eddie replied.

"You should know. . .that he showed us all of your baby photos," Steve said with a smirk.

"Goddamnit!"

Then they burst into laughter and laughed for what seemed like hours.

"I need to brush my teeth and then I need to fucking shower. Care to join me, big boy?"

"Fuck. Yes."

The next morning came, and Eddie was still here, resting comfortably on Steve’s chest and wearing his clothes. His mouth was open, and drool was pouring out onto Steve’s shirt. Fuck, he was cute. He slipped away to make a couple of calls and when he was done, he felt a pair of arms wrap around him after he hung up the phone. Eddie clutched his hips, spun him around, and attached his lips to his. Steve wanted to cry again and damn it, shouldn't he be out of tears? He could keep kissing Eddie forever. He sighed against Eddie's lips and they broke apart.

"This was was the worst year of my fucking life," Steve whispered.

"I'm sorry," Eddie replied.

"You're here now," Steve said.

Eddie had disappeared into the kitchen once Steve told him the rest of the party would be arriving shortly. He wanted to make a dramatic entrance. He opened the door when they knocked, a wide grin on his face causing Robin to yell.

"Oh my God! Your face!" Robin exclaimed.

"I thought you wanted me to be happy, Robin," Steve said sarcastically.

"I think she's talking about the fact that we can see your face and the fact that you washed your hair," Dustin said. "What's got you so happy?"

"Come on in, and I'll explain everything," Steve said with a giggle.

"Okay, it's creepy how happy you are. You've finally lost it and you're planning on killing us," Max said. "Hopper, can you arrest someone if you think that they might become a serial killer?"

"No," Hopper said, giving him a strange looking before following Max inside.

"Thanks for that, Maxine, I'm a little less happy now," Steve said, but there was still a spring in his step as he ushered everyone into the living room. "Okay, you can come on out now."

He paused, waiting for Eddie to come in, but there was nothing. Steve was suddenly afraid. Shit. Maybe it was all a dream. Then came the sound of feet slapping against the floor as he ran, and everyone tensed up. Eddie burst into the room, his arms spread wide and a grin on his face.

"I'm back, bitches!" Eddie exclaimed.

Dustin started to run toward him, but Hopper caught him before he could reach him. The teenager exploded into a string of curses, which caused a chain reaction of questions from the others. There was no stopping Wayne from pushing forward and pulling Eddie into a hug, crying tears of joy. Once he got everyone calmed down and El made sure it was Eddie, Steve explained everything from the dreams to Barb. Nancy had burst into tears at that, crying harder when Steve handed her the letter with Barb's hand writing on it.

"There's a part of her still alive, Nancy," Steve said. "She said that what happened to her wasn't our fault. She said that we all made choices that night."

Nancy hugged Steve, and everyone let them have their moment before Joyce spoke up.

"I'm glad that everything worked out, Steve, but what you did was pretty reckless," Joyce said gently.

"Says the woman who went all the way to Russia to break Hopper out of a Russian prison," Steve said.

"That's different," Joyce said.

"Is it?"

"Oh."

The kids were busy talking to Eddie when Steve mouthed to Joyce: 'worth it', and she smiled, understanding now. Robin suddenly leaned heavily into his side.

"You're back," Robin said. 

"I am."

"I'm happy for you, dingus."

A few days later. . .

"I'm just. . .happy."

Eddie was curled up into Steve’s side as he doodled in his notebook, his tongue sticking out. Steve gazed at him, a crooked smile on his face. Wayne sat in the armchair and glanced at them. His boys. He never got his second chance, but his boy did, and that was the most important thing, wasn't it?

"Aren't you guys supposed to be watching the game? Why the hell are you both watching me? Do I have something stuck in my hair again?"

[aylacavebear]

The Traveler - Chapter 11 - Earth, 1999 Pt. 1

You're from a specific dimension, Solaris Eclipse. It was a dimension of magic. When your kind, the Eldrathiren, turned fifteen, your unique power would awaken within you. Most times, it was something small, levitation, teleportation, creation, elemental manipulation, and things like that. Once in a while, a fifteen-year-old would just disappear, and those were called Travelers. None of them had ever returned. Your parents had told you stories about them, and you hoped that wouldn't happen to you.

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will probably be 18+ I haven't decided yet!

Word Count: 6104

Pairing Eventually Dean Winchester x OC Reader/You & Sam Winchester x OC Reader/You

Warnings: Angst, fluff. A/N: Don't think there's anything else in this one. It's fairly relaxed.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 11 - Earth, 1999 pt. 1

The sun had barely begun lighting the sky, and there was a chill in the air that made you shiver for a moment. There wasn’t a single light on in the two-story house, not yet anyway. The scent was still in the air around you, playing with your senses.

With an overjoyed smile plastered on your face, you raced toward the house. You knew they’d all be sleeping with as early as it was, but you didn’t care at the moment. You’d missed them so much. The Impala was parked in the driveway as you made your way onto the porch, quietly testing the doorknob, realizing it was locked.

The window that was in the living room had the curtains drawn, so you couldn’t tell who was sleeping on the couch when you peeked in. Mildly frustrated, you went back over to the door and knocked on it, biting your bottom lip in anticipation.

You attempted to wait patiently, but when no one came to the door, you knocked again, this time a little louder. Your ears twitched, hearing movement inside, and you smiled again when you heard footsteps coming toward the door.

“Somebody better be di-,” Dean grumbled, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you standing there.

Your spear fell onto the porch as you wrapped your arms around him, inhaling deeply, “I missed you.”

He held you close for a moment before he pulled back to look at you as you tilted your head a bit, still smiling up at him. “Come inside. Let’s get you warmed up.”

Dean grabbed your spear before closing the door behind you, then leaned it on the wall as John walked into the kitchen, “What’s all th-,” he began, but was silent the moment he saw you.

“Hi,” you said, waving at him.

John didn’t look happy to see you, but you weren’t entirely sure why. Dean, on the other hand, had seemed really happy to see you, although now, you weren’t so sure.

John inhaled through his nose as he looked you over, “Didn’t think we’d see you again.”

It was hard to tell what was going through his head, so you figured you’d just be friendly, “I like being in this world. I just don’t get to pick where I end up or how long I get to stay.”

“I remember,” he replied, getting some coffee before sitting at the table.

Dean had left the kitchen, and you assumed it was to wake up Sammy but didn’t say anything about it. “I hope it’s okay that I’m here.” You set your bag on the floor near your spear before sitting adjacent to him.

“I just don’t need you distracting my boys like last time,” he told you rather bluntly.

You tilted your head slightly as your ears twitched, hearing both brothers now, “I don’t mean to distract them. I could always help them focus on what they need to, if you’ll let me.” You were hoping he could at least be reasoned with.

“Hmm. Do you know how to shoot a gun?” John asked you as both brothers made their way into the kitchen.

“Yes,” you answered, glancing briefly at the brothers before giving John your full attention again.

John raised an eyebrow, “I know you didn’t learn the last time you were here. When did you learn, and who taught you?”

“Not sure you’d believe me if I told you,” you chuckled.

“Try me,” he smirked, and you could instantly see where Dean got his charm from.

“Okay. Dean and Sam taught me almost a year ago,” you answered, wondering what he’d ask next.

“Interesting. You weren’t here during that time. So, how’d that happen?” John was curious now.

“I ended up in the future. I’m still not sure why or how it happened, though,” you sighed.

You watched John, still attempting to figure out what he was thinking, but the man was good at keeping his thoughts and most of his emotions out of his expression. “Tell you what, you show me you can shoot accurately, and I’ll believe you. Dean, go wake up Bobby. Don’t need him waking up to gunshots.”

“Yes, Sir,” Dean replied quickly, then disappeared through the kitchen doorway.

John had you follow him outside and into the scrapyard before he handed you a gun. It was similar to the one you really liked that Dean had in the future. You checked the gun and clip, just like Dean had shown you before you aimed, unclicked the safety, and then fired it three times, hitting the target dead on. You put the safety back on and handed him the gun as Dean had shown you.

“Alright, kid, I’m impressed,” John chuckled before having you follow him back inside. “She’s alright in my book.” He told his boys before sitting in the living room with Bobby.

Both brothers wrapped you up in a hug sandwich between them, making you laugh. However, you closed your eyes and purred happily, inhaling their scent. 

“We missed you,” Sammy told you.

“I missed you guys too,” you sighed happily, finally feeling content.

The three of you sat around the kitchen table as you shared the last year and a half with them. You could hear some of what was going on in the living room between the adults but didn’t respond to anything you overheard. The brothers laughed at some of the things you told them about, and Sammy was utterly intrigued by what you told him about the underwater world.

Dean was trying to picture you with the wings you’d described having in the last world, and you caught a dreamy, far-off look in his eyes when he looked at you. You kept anything related to soulmates out of the conversation. It was a topic you weren’t ready to broach with either brother yet.

“So, you three want some lunch,” Bobby asked as he entered the kitchen.

“Is it that time already?” Sammy asked as all three of you looked over at Bobby.

“Yup. Your dad and I are gonna look through some more books after I make sure you eat,” Bobby replied. He really did love having the boys there, and he found you rather interesting, given your feline features.

“I got it, Bobby,” Dean said quickly, getting up just as fast.

You tilted your head and watched him, wondering why he seemed a little different around you this time, but you didn’t want to ask. His scent was a little different than when you’d met him the first time. That made you wonder how old he was.

“Okay, kid. Kitchens all yours,” Bobby chuckled before he joined John in the living room again.

“So, Y/N, you’ve been gone for two years. You’re what, seventeen now?” Dean asked as he pulled out what he needed for lunch.

“I guess so. It’s hard to track time like that,” you sighed.

“We should celebrate your birthday. On your home world, when was it?” Sammy asked you.

“Oh, umm…” you trailed off, trying to figure out how to equate it to their calendar system. “Well, in my home world, I was born between the solstices on the spring equinox. I’m not sure if you have those here, so it’s hard to say.”

“Yeah, we have those here,” Sammy told you happily, “The one this year already passed, but we can still celebrate your birthday.”

You gave Sammy a soft smile while calculating the numbers in your mind. If you were seventeen, that made Sammy sixteen and Dean nineteen, since it was near the end of the year for them.

Did he feel it? Is that why he’s acting differently? If he did or does, when did it happen?

You wanted to ask him but knew now was not the time, nor did you have any clue on how to bring it up. 

“You okay, Sweetheart?” Dean asked, giving you a slight smirk as he set down a sandwich in front of you.

“Yeah, sorry. I got lost in my thoughts,” you replied, smiling a little, “Thank you.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Sammy asked as Dean joined the two of you with two more sandwiches, one for each of them.

You felt a light blush creep into your cheeks and couldn’t help the slight smile of embarrassment on your lips. “Maybe later.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, noticing your blush, but didn’t remark on it, “Looks like we’re planning a birthday party today.”

“You think Dad and Bobby will be okay with it?” Sammy asked as he looked at Dean.

“I don’t see why not. It's not like he’s got a case to go on or anything. They’re doing research,” Dean replied, a mouthful of food that made you giggle. After he swallowed, “I’ll ask him about it after lunch.”

You partially listened to their conversation while thinking about the amount of time that had passed and the places you’d been. 

Two years, almost three…

“So, did you find any cool stuff in those other worlds?” Sammy asked you curiously.

Your ears perked up as you looked over at him, “Yeah, lots of stuff. I’ll show you later.” That was when you noticed Dean staring at you, again. “What?” 

“Sorry,” he quickly replied, looking down at the sandwich in his hands. It was clear he was thinking about something.

“Wanna talk about it?” you asked, tilting your head slightly.

“Nah. I’m good,” he chuckled.

After lunch, Dean went and talked to Bobby and John, who agreed to the birthday party. Bobby showed you where the washer and dryer was so you could take care of your clothes and kindly suggested you shower. Sammy offered to help you with your clothes while John and Dean went to the store.

The shower felt amazing, and Dean had given you some of his clothes to wear afterward since all of yours needed to be washed. Sammy had tossed your clothes in the dryer while you were finishing up in the bathroom. You let out a contented sigh, feeling clean again. You also used the knife from the water world to trim your nails back so you didn’t accidentally hurt anyone, making them really short, like a humans.

“Feel better, kid?” Bobby asked when you made your way back into the living room.

“Much. Thank you,” you replied happily.

“So, can I see the cool stuff you got?” Sammy asked, now utterly curious.

You chuckled as you sat down on the couch, your pouch in your hands, “You don’t want to wait for Dean to get back so he can see, too?”

“Nope,” he said quickly, which made you laugh a little.

Shaking your head in amusement, you opened your pouch, carefully taking out the items inside. 

Levithar Labyrinth - Meat, a couple of kitten teeth the kittens had lost as new ones grew in, and the glowing pebble thing that had fallen from the sky.

Aqualumina - Some shells in various shapes and colors. You also set the knife on the table with those and a tooth from one of the predatory fish you’d found in the seabed.

The Shadowed Abyss - A vile of the golden liquid from the flowers that the spiders had cultivated, teeth from not only the cat-like creatures but also the wolf-like creatures, and a couple of crystals you’d found in the cavern where you’d stayed.

Crystalis Canopy - The small handful of crystal pebbles.

Twilight Veil - A few of Lysara’s scales, one of her teeth that had come out as they did, similar to sharks, more small crystal pebbles, and some canine teeth from a few of the creatures you’d hunted while learning the skills Lysara had been teaching you.

“Apparently, I like rocks,” you chuckled as Dean and John came in through the kitchen.

“Can I touch anything?” Sammy asked you curiously.

“Go for it. I don’t mind,” you replied, looking up as Dean entered the living room.

“What’s all that?” he asked you.

“Just the stuff I gathered in the other worlds. Sammy wanted to see,” you answered.

“Dean, get in here and help with this stuff,” John told him from the kitchen.

“Sorry, Sir,” Dean quickly apologized before going to help his dad.

Dean did rejoin the three of you in the living room, along with John. Bobby had even gotten closer so he could look at the objects you’d set out on the coffee table. Dean went for the knife while Bobby and John were looking at the glowing orb from the last world. It was moments like this that you wished you could read minds, especially with all of them being silent.

“You got all this stuff from the worlds you’ve been to?” John asked you, glancing at Bobby before looking directly at you.

“Yeah. I wanted to remember where I’ve been and what I’ve been through. The knife was a gift, though,” you answered.

“It’s beautiful,” Dean said, his voice quiet as he admired it.

“What about that?” Bobby asked, pointing to the glowing orb. None of them had touched it.

“That’s from the last world I was in. It fell from the sky and was in one of the mountains. The Ket asked me to get it and then take it out of their world. They said it made them feel weird,” you explained.

“Not sure I’ve got a book that covers that, but I’m gonna see what I can find,” he stated, seeming to be lost in thought about something more profound.

Sammy was moving one of the crystal stones between his finger and thumb, looking at it closely while John picked up one of Lysara’s scales. That was when you explained what each set of things was and where they’d come from. Bobby had only been half listening as he was also looking over book titles for something specific.

“Dad, any idea what these runes might mean? They look familiar,” Dean asked, concentrating on the knife momentarily before he held it out towards John.

John took the knife and set down the scale, inspecting the blade and handle intently. “I’ve never seen ‘em before. Bobby might have a book with that writing in it, though.”

Once they were done looking at everything, you cleaned it back up, carefully placing the items back into the pouch. Dean had gone into the kitchen, so you followed him, curious about what he was up to, Sammy behind you. 

“Whatcha doing?” you asked, peeking around his side at what he was fiddling with on the counter.

“Making you a cake,” he chuckled.

“What’s cake? Is it like pie?” you asked, moving to the side of him as you looked into his eyes, tilting your head a bit.

He laughed, “No, cake is not like pie, but it’s not bad.”

“Can I watch?” you asked, still just as curious.

“Sure. There’s not much to see, though,” he chuckled.

The way food worked on Earth was utterly fascinating to you. So, you weren’t entirely sure what he meant by there wasn’t much to see. Cake, though, was utterly fascinating. It went from a powder to more of a thick liquid with the things he added, and then, after it came out of the oven, it was fluffy and solid. He grabbed your wrist when you went to touch it, though, explaining that it was hot and had to cool. 

You pouted a bit but didn’t touch it. He plopped it out onto a plate a half-hour later, then used another one to flip it over, letting it cool for another half-hour. The waiting thing was hard to do. He put what he called frosting on the top and sides of it, and then he let you taste a little out of the container. Your eyes widened, your ears perked up, and your tail swayed happily at the sweet flavor of the chocolate.

Both brothers found your curiosity over something they found simple and ordinary, quite adorable. Bobby and John joined the three of you in the kitchen as Dean put a candle in the center of the cake and lit it. The four of them sang you Happy Birthday before Dean told you to make a wish and blow out the candle. You didn’t catch the way he looked at you with the candlelight shining in your eyes or the soft smile that formed on his lips when you blew it out. Dean cut the cake and plated some up for everyone, all of you sitting around the table. The moment you took a bite, your ears and tail showed just how happy you were, and you purred.

“Oh my god, this is so yummy,” you exclaimed through a mouthful of cake, making Sammy chuckle.

“Glad you like it, Sweetheart. Happy Birthday,” Dean told you, smirking happily.

“Tomorrow, you two can help with research,” John told the brothers, causing you to look up at him.

“What are you researching?” you asked after swallowing the bite you’d taken.

“We’re trying to find a yellow-eyed demon,” John explained, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh. If I remember right, that’s a Prince of Hell,” you replied casually.

“And how do you know that?” John asked, narrowing his eyes at you.

“I read about them. They’re stronger than regular demons,” you began, then took a bite of your cake.

“Care to share?” Bobby asked.

Between bites of your cake, you explained to them that you’d read about them when you visited the future. You told them how the Princes of Hell were the first generation of demons created by Lucifer himself after the creation of Lilith. The Princes were originally the generals of Lucifer’s demonic armies. Also, once they had been separated from Hell, they opted to hide on Earth, except for Azazel. He had remained loyal to Lucifer and was the most dangerous.

You also explained that the Princes of Hell couldn’t just be killed and that you needed a special weapon to do so, like the Lance of Michael or a special gun with special bullets. There were also Archangels who could kill them. 

The four of them looked at you, blinking with a fairly blank expression before John spoke up again, “Got names of them?”

“Yeah. I remember the names I read. Azazel, Ramiel, Dagon, and Asmodeus. Why?” you asked curiously. Then you looked over at the brothers, “Do you two already have your tattoos?”

“Huh?” Sammy asked, confused at your question.

“You each had a tattoo when I saw you in the future. It was an upside-down star inside a circle that almost looked like fire. It was on your chest, near your shoulder,” you answered.

Bobby and John shared a look, “That’s an anti-possession symbol,” Bobby mumbled.

“Your trip to the future might be more helpful than I thought,” John remarked, now seeming to be lost in thought.

“We don’t have tattoos,” Dean told you, slightly puzzled but also curious.

“Oh, there was something else about the Princes of Hell. Only one of them stayed loyal to Lucifer, wanting to prepare for his rising. That was Azazel. It has something to do with Lucifer's vessel and releasing his armies,” you told them, looking back at the adults.

“Looks like we’ve got research to do,” John stated, and you still couldn’t read his expression. All Bobby did was nod.

“Well, happy birthday, kid. And, thanks for that information. It’s more help than you realize,” Bobby told you with a small, soft smile.

“You’re welcome. And thank you, too, for everything,” you replied happily.

“You can use the same room you did last time you were here,” he chuckled.

The night was mostly relaxed, at least among the three of you. The adults had their noses stuck in books while they drank. Dean and Sammy found a game that the three of you played for an hour before you remembered your clean clothes. When you went to take care of them, Sammy helped you take them to your room, then sat on the bed as you folded them, repacking your bag neatly. 

“How long you think you’ll be here this time?” he asked you curiously.

“I don’t know. I hope that it will be longer, though. I like it here, and I like spending time with you and Dean,” you replied, zipping up your bag and setting it on the floor. “You think the adults would let us watch a movie?”

“Maybe. They could always read in the kitchen,” Sammy chuckled.

To your surprise, the adults were okay with the idea, leaving the three of you to enjoy a movie with dinner that night. You had sat in the middle, between the brothers, who were on either side of the couch. Dean was still acting a little weird to you, but you weren’t ready to ask him about anything personal that night.

You didn’t feel different around them, although you weren’t eighteen yet, either. After the movie, the three of you played a board game before you hugged them both and said goodnight to all four of them. As you crawled into bed, you felt content and relaxed, as if you could finally get to know the brothers better. You didn’t even dream that night but slept peacefully.

The following morning, you woke to the aroma of bacon and eggs as the early morning light flitted through the thin curtains. You smiled as you climbed out of bed, seeing everyone awake, and followed the aroma into the kitchen, where Dean was cooking.

“Smells amazing,” you purred, moving to stand next to him.

“Mornin’ Sweetheart. Hungry?” he chuckled, glancing over at you.

“I am now,” you giggled, putting your arms around his waist from the side and hugging him.

He put his arm over your shoulder, giving you a gentle squeeze, “I’m making plenty for everyone. Go hang out in the living room, and I’ll let you know when it’s done.”

You giggled again before joining the others in the living room. They all had their noses in a book, several stacks on the coffee table and Bobby’s desk. You reached out and picked up one of the books off the closest stack and began thumbing through the pages, only partially reading some of the words on the pages.

Breakfast was amazing, and you grabbed a piece of your cake afterward, enjoying its sweetness. After a couple of hours of thumbing through books, you went outside for some fresh air, needing to give your eyes a rest. You inhaled deeply, the light chill of the air rather refreshing as you leaned against the side of the Impala, hands in your pockets.

“You okay, Sweetheart?” Dean asked, pulling you from your thoughts sometime later.

“Yeah. Just enjoying being here. It’s quiet, compared to the other places I’ve been,” you replied, looking over at him.

You noticed Sammy step outside as Dean walked a little closer to you. “Cities are really loud,” he chuckled.

“So I won’t go to a city,” you chuckled in return.

“Well, at least in a city, you could get away with not hiding your ears and tail. We could just tell everyone you like to dress up like a cat,” he teased you playfully.

At first, you weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh at what he’d said or glare at him. Your glare ended up coming off as playful, with a smile you couldn’t stop, which only made him laugh. That was when he got a cocky smirk.

“I wonder…” he mused before reaching over and tickling your ribs, to which you burst out laughing, trying to push him away.

“Dean, that’s not fair,” you barely got out between fits of laughter before finally managing to get away from him. “You do realize, turn about is fair play,” you smirked.

Before Dean could even react, you began tickling his ribs. Yeah, he was stronger than you, but with your reflexes, you mostly stayed out of his grasp for a little while before he got a hold of your wrists. He had been laughing so hard that you’d ended up laughing with, as infectious his was.

“So… not... Fair…” he said, completely out of breath, finally letting go of your wrists. “I’ll get you back for that,” he told you with that same mischievous smirk.

“You’ll have to catch me first,” you teased back, still laughing a little.

“I’ll make sure you aren’t expecting it, kitten,” he bantered back.

Your tail flicked behind you and you weren’t quite sure how to feel about being called that. Dean instantly realized his misstep, “I was only being playful. I’m sorry.”

“I just uh… I don’t really know how I feel… being called a kitten,” you replied, looking away from him and leaning against the Impala again.

“I meant it in an endearing way, if that helps. I mean, you’re kinda cute, like a kitten is,” he told you, sounding fairly nervous.

A blush crept into your cheeks, and you could only glance at him briefly before gazing back at the ground. “I guess it’s okay then,” you mumbled. 

Dean got an idea at that point, “Hey, Y/N. What has more lives than a cat?”

You furrowed your brow and looked over at him, completely confused and puzzled, “I don’t know. What?” You’d learned a lot about things on your first visit by watching the TV in the motel room.

“A frog, because it croaks every day,” he told you, doing his best not to chuckle at his own joke.

That one made you think for a moment before you lost it laughing, and you missed Sammy taking another picture of you. This picture would end up in Dean’s wallet, and in that moment, he realized that he loved you, but he wasn’t quite sure how it had happened. He knew he barely knew you, but somehow felt like he’d known you for so much longer.

“Sweetheart, I need to ask you something,” he began, somewhat quietly when you stopped laughing due to his joke. “Sammy, go inside for a bit.”

“Sure, Dean. What’s up?” you asked, now curious to know what was going through his head.

“Last time you were here, you said you were following a scent and trying to get home. If that’s the case, why are you back here?” he asked now that it was just the two of you outside.

You opened your mouth to answer him, then closed it and looked down at the ground again, having no clue how to explain it. “Well… uh…” having no clue how to even begin.

Dean moved so that he was standing in front of you, then gently lifted your chin so you were looking up at him, “I know it has something to do with me and Sammy. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. Just tell me, please.”

“The scent I’m following is what my soul desires most,” you somewhat shyly replied. “I just… I won’t fully feel it until I turn eighteen.”

Dean took a step back, attempting to put the vague details together with what he was feeling, which included the emotions he knew were not his. “Why am I feeling your emotions?” he asked, more curious than anything.

You again looked down at the ground, fidgeting with your fingers, “You’re my uh… soulmate…” you answered quietly. He was quiet, just staring at you, speechless. “I’m sorry. There wasn’t a different way to say it.”

“I- I need to think about this,” he said plainly before he walked back into the house, leaving you outside alone.

This was not how you’d wanted it to go, him finding out like this. Although, there wasn’t really a way other than saying it bluntly. You felt a tear slide down your cheek, which you quickly wiped away as you looked up at the house. Part of you was thankful you weren’t eighteen yet, as that moment would have hurt far more than it did. You could tell he was having an issue with basically being told that the two of you were destined to end up together.

I took away his freedom…

Given his reaction, it was all you could think about at the moment, but you couldn’t blame him either. You sighed, not wanting to go back inside. In a way, you almost felt like this visit wasn’t going to be as happy as you’d hoped. You hadn’t even had the chance to tell him that Sammy was also your soulmate, and now, you had no plans of telling him.

A half hour or so later, Sammy came outside, finding you still leaning against the Impala, staring at the ground. “You okay?” he asked as he approached you.

“I will be. I think I made Dean mad by accident,” you replied quietly.

“I think everything makes him mad most times,” he replied, looking over at the house as he leaned on the car next to you. “He won’t stay mad long. He never does. Besides, he hasn’t stopped talking about you since you left last time.”

You glanced over at Sammy, raising an eyebrow, “Really? He’s been talking about me?”

“Yeah. Me too. I missed you too, but I honestly think he has a crush on you with how he talks about you,” Sammy chuckled.

Your cheeks flushed slightly when he said that, and you looked back at the house, now also confused about how he’d reacted earlier. “Boys are confusing,” you grumbled.

Sammy chuckled, “So are girls.”

“I am not,” you protested playfully, making you both laugh.

He helped brighten your mood before the two of you headed back inside to the living room. They all still had their noses stuck in a book, still researching. You sat down on the far side of the couch and grabbed a book, thumbing through it, only partially reading it again as your mind wandered.

All their scents were mixed in the room, which also mixed with the scents of Bobby’s home. You felt like you were home and inhaled deeply, never wanting to leave.

After another hour, you finally looked over at Bobby, “So, what are you guys looking for?”

“I was trying to see if there was anything about your people in any of these books. If anything, I was hoping there’d be something about a Traveler,” he sighed, closing the book he had been reading.

“Oh…” you trailed off, debating how much to say with all of them there.

You’d dreamt about wanting to tell them the things you had learned during your travels, but now that there was a moment where you could, you were scared.

“Something you’d like to share, Sweetheart?” Dean asked, glancing up at you briefly.

You looked down at the book in your lap, probably looking as guilty as you felt, “Well, I uh… some of the creatures taught me about what they knew about Travelers,” you mumbled in response.

“So then, how come you look so guilty?” John asked, raising an eyebrow.

You swallowed, hard, “Umm…” You didn’t know what to say. John was their father, and Bobby was basically their adopted father. Revealing that Dean and Sam were your soulmates felt very nerve-wracking.

“Come on, kid. We’re not gonna be mad at you,” Bobby tried to reassure you.

All their eyes were on you at this point, but yours were still on the book in your lap, even if you weren’t actually reading it. “You might change your mind after I tell you,” you told them quietly.

You then proceeded to tell them about the scent you’d been following, only this time, in more detail. Due to your trip to the future, you’d put the pieces together as to what the scents were that had mingled together. Explaining that the scent was what your soul desired most was difficult. It was worse when you told them that, in your case, the scent was of your soulmates, making sure to enunciate that it was plural.

“Do you know who they are, your soulmates?” Bobby asked, just as curious as John looked.

All you could do was nod slowly, still looking down at the book. This was not how you had pictured this particular visit to go.

“Care to share?” John asked.

“I really don’t want to,” you mumbled.

What you didn’t see, due to staring at the book, was that Sammy had been watching you and how your ears and tail had drooped. “If she doesn’t want to say, don’t make her. Can’t you tell she’s upset?” Sammy told the others.

That was when you looked up at him, somewhat surprised, but you smiled a little, and your ears perked up a bit, too. “Thanks.”

Bobby and John both had their suspicions, as did Dean, but none of them said a word, at least not about that. “So, if I understand it all. You’ll keep jumping dimensions until you find your soulmates?” Bobby asked.

“Sort of. I’m still not sure how that part works. I know it has something to do with having to be eighteen before I feel them and the connection,” you answered, still quietly, and you looked back down at the book.

“Does that mean you’ll end up leaving again?” Sammy asked, almost sounding sad.

“Probably. I just don’t know when,” you answered sadly.

“Last time, it happened after John and the boys left. It’s probably safe to assume that it’ll happen the same way this time, too,” Bobby thought out loud.

This was the third time you’d been to their world, and they all knew that, but none of them were sharing the thoughts they all shared. 

“Well, if you’re gonna be coming here more often, we should probably figure out a way so you can at least see more of what this place offers instead of being stuck in just one place,” Sammy suggested.

“Whoa. I’m not so sure her going out in public is such a good idea,” John stated.

“How come?” Sammy asked, slightly puzzled, “She’s watched enough TV to know how at least some things work.”

“The ears are easy to cover, but what about her tail?” John asked, pointing out the obvious.

“It’s okay. I don’t need to go out anywhere,” you mumbled.

You set the book down on the table and headed to your room. The atmosphere in the living room had just gotten too much for you, and you needed some alone time. Of course, you wanted to explore more of Earth, experience things you’d seen on TV, and see other people. You knew the complications of it all, though, and didn’t want them to fuss over you.

Moments like this made you miss your mom and dad, as well as the friends you’d made through your travels. Interacting with the brothers had been easier before you knew they were your soulmates. Somehow, that complicated things, and you felt nervous around them now. You had seen plenty of relationships on the TV, which gave you an idea of how things worked on Earth. 

It worked similarly to how it worked with your people. The dating part was similar, but dates were just different on Earth. There were all sorts of different things to do on Earth for dates, like going to restaurants, movies, places with something called miniature golf, and so much more that was so different than your world. With your ears and tail, you knew there was no way you could go out and see any of those kinds of places.

You could hear the four of them talking, even with the door closed, as you sat on your bed, crossed-legged. They said out loud what you hadn’t been able to, that the brothers were your soulmates. Dean wasn’t saying much, let alone how he felt about the whole thing. Sammy was curious, asking all sorts of questions which the adults didn’t have answers to. You then heard Bobby say something about looking for information on soulmates so they could understand it better since you were so nervous about talking about it.

You eventually curled up in your bed and drifted off to sleep when your emotions got the better of you. Between what Lysara had said and what you’d learned from the future, you hadn’t fully thought about how things would be different when you saw them again. Your dreams were of your childhood, your home, and your parents. It felt like a lifetime ago that you had seen them last. There was an aching in your heart, even in your dreams, knowing you’d never see them again.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 12 - Earth 1999 pt. 2

Link to the series Masterlist.

A/N: If you'd like to get in on the Dimensional Traveling, go to this link and leave me with a comment, or several, with as much or as little detail about the dimension you'd like the Traveler to end up in. If you'd like to have something specific happen, share that too. I'll make sure that you get credit for the idea you shared in the chapter in which your dimension is featured. I'd love to have as many readers involved as possible. I think this could be a lot of fun.

As always, if you'd like to be tagged, let me know and I'll add you to the tag list.

Tag List: @littlemadamred @mxltifxnd0m @foxyjwls007

[sparklecryptid]

We've had Noctis going back in time, chocobros, Ardyn, royal bastards in their various incarnations, Cor-

But I don't think I've ever seen Regis be the one to get sent back in time. Like, can you imagine it? Regis, who just killed Noctis (his son his child his), waking up as a teenager over 40 years in the past. And deciding to Fuck the Prophecy and Bahamut too, he's not doing any of that again (please don't make him do that again he can't).

Regis goes on to completely demolish the timeline, with Clarus and Wesk trailing behind and making concerned noises. (understandable, Regis kind of changed overnight)

For bonus points, his original timeline was one with a royal bastard, maybe even more than one. Except this time, Regis actually keeps track of his exes so he finds out about them pretty soon.

(If you want maximum angst, it was the one where Luche kills him)

Regis dies. It is a swift death. A mercy given to him by the hands of his daughter.

(His daughter that he never knew. His daughter that must have suffered for it to have ended this way. His daughter. A traitor. But still his daughter.)

Regis dies, and when he wakes he finds himself younger. He finds himself nineteen years old and untested by the hardships of the coming years.

Regis dies with blood in his mouth.

He wakes up with the memory of cold arms lowering him to the ground and frost curling across a pale cheek. Is his daughter alive yet? Regis doesn't believe so but he can't know for sure.

He knows Noctis isn't alive. Regis knows that at least his son will be safe. But Luche? Regis doesn't know.

Something in him aches.

-

There is something off about Clarus' Prince. The only King that will ever have his loyalty, the only person Clarus will die for that isn't his wife. There has been something off about Clarus' Prince for years now. Ever since Regis woke up on his nineteenth birthday something has been off about him.

Regis dives into whatever work is assigned to him. He plays politics like he's an old hand at it and seems to know what schemes his father is up to before they happen. Regis is different, it's shown in the frantic but careful way he directs resources into areas he thinks will need them most and ignore the nobles that grumble and whine only to be shocked that Regis was right about diverting their forces from around Insomnia to near Galahd.

It is as if Regis has grown the ability to see the future and Regis laughs at Clarus when he suggests it. For a moment it looks like he's about to make a joke but his face freezes as if he's remembering something.

"Clarus," Regis says slowly, "What was the name of the woman my father sent me on my eighteenth birthday?"

"Why do you ask?" Regis plotting something, this much Clarus can tell. But it's been six years since then and Clarus still can't tell exactly what Regis wants with this information.

"I need to know," Regis says, "I think she has something of mine."

-

Her name is Tita Lazarus.

Lazarus. It isn't a common enough name for Regis to ignore the possibility that this woman is the mother of his child.

Regis remembers her dazed gaze a she looked at him through their night together. He remembers how she was cold even when he tried to warm her with his magic. Most of all, Regis remembers when frost started to coat her fingertips after they had finished.

He hadn't thought of the woman much in his life before, he thought her another manipulation by his father to get him to behave. But if she hadn't told Mors about her child then where did her loyalty lie?

For Luche's sake, Regis hopes it's with him.

-

The ones who meet them at the docks of Galahd's biggest - and only - port are a mix of those from Clan Khara and Clan Bellum. They watch as Regis jumps off the ship and makes his way toward them.

Their body language is relaxed, but there is a tension in the air that tells Regis that although he is welcomed he better not try anything.

"Greetings, Son of Crystal," The leader of the Khara delegation speaks, "May we inquire as to the nature of your visit?"

"I'm looking for a Lazarus," Regis says and the air goes still. Ah. They are hiding something. Regis knew it. "Her name was Tita. I believe she has a child."

The tension doesn't ease with Regis' words but it changes.

"And if she does?"

Regis smiles. It's all teeth.

"I would like to meet my daughter."

-

Here is the thing: Regis refuses to let his mistakes bleed into this life. He refuses to let his daughter suffer and he refuses to let his son sacrifice himself like a karakul on an altar.

That being said, he doesn't expect the reaction he gets when his daughter meets them on the way to her own house.

"You're not supposed to be here." Tiny fists clutch at Regis' pants and glowing blue eyes peer up at him. Her face is scrunched up in terror as if the world had suddenly changed. Beside him the Khara and Furia accompanying him and Clarus are quiet. "You're not supposed to be here! The path has changed the trees face backward. You're not-" She stumbles over her words and tears well up in her eyes and freeze.

"Why now?" Luche's voice trembles, "Why this path? Why this journey? Why this me? Why not the others? Don't you know how they - how we - suffered? Why am I enough but they aren't? Why-" Frost curls over her cheekbones and Regis reaches out-

The Furia swings into action before Regis can scoop his daughter into his arms and soothe her. Lottie - the Furia - drags Luche away from Regis and Regis bites back a snarl even if he can't help the way his magic sharpens the air.

There is so much he doesn't know about his daughter. It infuriates him others know more than he does.

He has time to learn.

It doesn't make up for what happened in the past.

"Stop your wandering," Lottie gently scolds Luche, "The trees are the same, the path is solid. There is no use wandering on what-ifs and could-bes. Come back to the greener grass and the song the winds sing."

Luche stares at Lottie, her eyes slowly focusing on the figure in front of her. She blinks once. Twice.

Luche spins to look at Regis.

"Why are you here?" She demands and this time Regis can notice the buzzing of his ancestral magic under her skin.

"I'm here for you," Regis says, "And your mother."

"You don't want her," Luche warns, "She's gone too far."

"Do you want her?"

Luche pauses.

Regis smiles.

"Think about it," he says, "On the way to your home - tell me about yourself."

[pleucas]

i'm still half asleep as i write this. sorry if unorganized. i wake this morning but a wee little soul accused of not dismantling the facade of the character, of demonizing mental illness and most horrendously, watching the anime first. oh Cheese is also here sitting in the corner. real ominously, kinda scaring me.

so, firstly, i actually hate watching anime and like all animated media where there's a book. they speak too slow and less information is conveyed. if i can read something faster than i can watch the show, im going to read it. ive actually only watched the first couple episodes of BSD and the Dark Era ones. ive read the manga like 3 times and most of the light novels relating to chuuya and dazai. now that that the clear most important point is out of the way, which is that my media illiteracy is through MY OWN CHOICE !! onto the others. dazai is a well written character. he's entertaining to think about. a character being well written doesn't make them likeable though? he was written to be annoying, he gets on near everyone's nerves in the show. i can be annoyed with him AND ALSO understand that despite that he is a multi layered character who isn't necessarily all good or bad. sorry if i came off like that wasn't the case in my other asks. i get his facade, i understand why he does it, ive been there to when i was reallllly deep in depression. and with that said, it still frustrates me. this is gonna be a shocker, a real hard pill to swallow, some other expression of surprise, living life in a state where you're always passively lying to people is bad for you relationships!! i feel the burden to see through the facade is often placed on the people around him, but i think setting the standard that people should just know without you telling them can be pretty unhealthy.

i think in these kinda ships where one of the character's has basically erected a wall between themselves in the war, the compelling part is seeing the bricks, day by day, be taken apart. and, ultimately, it is on the person who put up the wall to do that in the end. they can have help, of course. most need a remarkable amount of assurance for it, but still it falls on the shoulders of the person who put it up.

im not going to compare mental illness or toxicity, but i don't think Chuuya even wants to assure him. furthermore, given their relationship, i think that's a respectable decision. im not going to bash him for disliking someone who admits to doing everything in his power to annoy him even at his lowest moments (STORMBRINGER DAZZAI OH HOW I HATE YOU. TANGENT TIME: there's a difference between manipulating a situation to be advantageous and it happening to turn out good for the people involved and helping. intentions matter!! dazai wanted the outcome best for HIMSELF. he does this a lot, drags other people into it. all the time. beast dazai? even worse. hate that guy. people read beast as a dazai angst book?? what??? clearly it was sskk fodder.) Chuuya is far less intelligent than dazai, alright. not a negative, but when it comes to holding him accountable my standard isn't as high. he clearly cares for others and has a strong moral backbone, even if id disagree with him on it, unlike SOMEONE i know. he values personhood generally. mentally ill people still have free will. i don't hate dazai for being mentally ill, i hate him for the choices he makes. i understand they stem from the illness, everything exists in context or whatnot, but that doesn't excuse it. on the point about him changing for the better, i don't actually think he has. not in a significant way. once more, intentions matter. he's 'being good' because Oda told him to be, but to this day, he still manipulates the people around him - and this is an active choice. one example: everything he makes Akutagawa do. in the relationship, he's very clearly still taking advantage of the emotional abuse he put him through. it helps the ADA, but it also shows he falls into the same patterns he always has. he can change, of course, and id like to see him change, but in my eyes it hasn't really happened yet. when it does? maybe ill like skk!! ive got hope for this arc.

on a much lighter note, im pretty sure i know who Cheese is. i showed this page to a friend a couple days ago and they said something about sending an ask in. sorry about them, they talk too much. me? im very concise. This has obviously been Rimu

RIMU OMG WELCOME BACK I'VE MISSED YOUUUUU

to preface: yeah totally fine to hate a character and acknowledge their complexity. very valid perspective, don't let anyone tell you otherwise

this is getting intense (& interesting!) and i've received a few more additions to this Saga in my inbox so i supposed i'd get a little into it as well. dz's character and skk has always been interesting to me so m gonna start procuring theses... sorry

firstly, i apologize for disregarding your agency in your own media illiteracy. please understand that there was little ill intent and i was actually trying to protect you from the dazai glazers, tho idk if you rlly want my protection there. they do get kinda feisty tho so you are one brave soldier

abt the dazai brick-wall-facade thing: super interesting and yeah i generally agree with you. his inability to communicate has been emphasized and i think it's something that, if he were a real person, he'd probably have to work on LOL. idk if bsd necessarily treats it as a bad/good thing — just a Thing. but then applied to skk, i actually believe asgr puts a lot of time into showing (not telling) that dazai does Not do this with chuuya, especially when they're 22, arguably even in stormbringer (tangent for later).

it's all very subtle — laughing at the rich girl act, smiling at him during lovecraft, legitimately giving him a choice about corruption, even calling him a diff "partner" title in jp. very, very subtle shit. notice that bones kills most of this. the thing is, i think it's also made clear that chuuya easily reads through the remainder of dz's bullshit, mostly when they're 22 (but therefore suggestively 17 and on, since they haven't been in contact since dz left the pm) — playing into the rich girl joke, suggesting code-worded formations during lovecraft, reading through dazai's stupid rolling-on-floor shtick in meursault. none of this has to be explicitly romantic either, asgr employs this stuff to demonstrate that they have a close, long-term bond. again, subtle shit, probably only readable if you have the context of stormbringer, which leads into the tangent.

stormbringer dazai, or mafia dazai, is dazai at his worst. every character in bsd has a time when they are at their worst, and they are all working to redeem themselves, for themselves. that's kinda the point of the whole series: find a reason to live, for others but primarily for yourself, no matter what you've done or will do or didn't do. at the point of sb, dazai does not understand human connection as a part of the self, since he's an isolationist little imp and also a traumatized "i know too much" child. pretty sure the whole shipping container scene was meant to demonstrate this. so yeah, dazai put chuuya through physical and emotional hell because he didn't understand the weight of either of these torments. when he finally does in dark era, he gets outta his "worst."

but you'll notice that when it comes to chuuya's humanity, he gives chuuya as much time as possible and hesitates to speak. again, subtle shit. i really think it does sb a disservice to say that dazai was trying to have the best outcome for himself — his goal was to protect mori and the freshly righted PM from collapse (aka protect yokohama from collapse), and along the way chuuya gets a power-up after losing some friends and going through some pain (which isn't that deep to dz) while also hurdling the question of his humanity by finding out a bit of his past. it's a very "i'm above it" analysis of reality, which i think sets up dazai's character arc + og mindset pretty well — through dark era and fyodor, dazai faces that he cannot be "above it" if he wants to really live. and so, here we are, witnessing him come down here to eat, breathe, fall in love, and die.

abt BEAST — i agree with you lol. i think BEAST is the epitome of a dazai who is forever "above it." his only option is suffering, lackluster returns & the achievement of a singular goal, and suicide. it's a subplot and subtlety to read into. otherwise, BEAST is utterly and wholly sskk/aku/atsushi gourmet dinner.

& on the topic of dazai's death that you mentioned way back, i agree with you. dazai needs to get nerfed somehow to confront the struggles of living. i think meursault has been pretty good for that, now that fyodor's up and kicking again — dazai's been intellectually and physically bested, and now he's facing everything he thought was inconsequential. the loss of friends, of agency (lol of The Agency also), of purpose, of physical ability. his suicide stuff is quite possibly chekov's bazooka missile and he'll probably end up dying (maybe through self-sacrifice), although in a completely different tone than in BEAST. im going to tentatively trust asgr with that... it would possibly make or break dazai's character LMFAO

ugh this is so long. i have/had Thoughts and you've dragged them out. but abt dazai being good/bad (as dz glazer identifies it) or better (as you id it), i'm pretty certain the whole point of dazai is to demonstrate that there is no good or bad in the world. like. Yeah. i somewhat agree that he isn't "changing for the better" in any significant way, precisely for the reasons you pointed out. him relying on others directly is a good sign tho (trusting atsushi to handle things in dead apple, sending akutagawa as the eyes/flare, etc). i'm rather certain we're seeing, rn in meursault/airport arc, dazai's capacity to truly change being challenged. so yes!!! i too have hope for this arc :0

this ended up being pretty dz centric which is sad because skk are two components after all... but this is way too long now. as always, pleasure to read ur writing, and keep it going!!! and please say hi to your discursive cheese friend for me <3

what have you done to me, cas

[wizardfrog69]

what if doa ends up not even telling sigma that they found out about their relationship and just k*lls reader and says that their relationship would be a hindrance to their plans (plus they prob want to get rid of reader too)?

I feel like you're the same person who wrote the other teo requests but I'm just doing a bad job at writing them 😭

'•.¸♡ false choices ♡¸.•'

Sigma x gn!reader

Angst

A sequel to this and an alternative to this scenario

Cw!!! Death, blood, emotional manipulation, suicide.

If this subject is triggering in anyway please do not read, your mental wellbeing is more important

Sigma got home in the late hours of the evening all the lights were turned off and he just assumed you were asleep, but upon entering your shared room you were no where to be found. There was always a slight fear in the back of Sigma's head that his relationship would be found out and either you or him would end up dead but he never let those fears interfere with his life, up to this point atleast. Sigma hoped you were just out with your friends and would come back later that night or you had to do over time, he hoped you were alright and nothing happened to you.

Sigma tried to stay up all night but eventually gave up and decided to rest, hoping you would show up in the morning or at least call.

Waking up to a cold bed and the sound of alarms blaring in his ears Sigma got up, he still felt scared, more scared this time. He got up and looked around the house, everywhere he could think of, he called your friends, he stopped by your work asking about you but no one had seen you. His fears only grew and grew at thus point, nothing could have happened to you, no you were just out somewhere and forgot to call, you were alright.

Upon entering his office, Sigma felt something was off, as if someone was staring at him, but the feeling was looked passed and forgotten when he noticed an envelope on his desk, inside was a piece of paper which read "[address]" he didn't know what this meant but all he knew was that the handwriting seemed early familiar.

The address was of an abandoned wear house, something the doa was fond of. Sigma went to visit hoping to find you there, when he entered a strange smell hit him, the smell of a rotting body. Worried, Sigma followed the smell but when he saw what was causing the smell he couldn't move, his body was frozen in its place.

There was a body laying on the floor with a pool of blood around it, the blood was spilling out of the deep cut on the neck, the cut wasn't deep enough for the head to be completely severed off but it was deep enough for a long and painful death, the live of this person ended with them staring at a ceiling, counting down the seconds to their death as their life slipped away, they were probably all alone and couldn't call for help. But this wasn't what caused Sigma to go into a state of shock, no the reason why his heart was pounding, why his breaths became short, why tears kept on pouring down his face was because the life which the corpse held was your life, your life slipped away in this empty building, the most precious thing in the world slipped away and Sigma didn't even notice, he thought you were out having fun.

When Sigma got control over his body again he quickly ran up to your lifeless body. 'No no no please no this no please stay, stay with me, I can't loose you, not now not ever please stay, common wake up everything is going to be okay, everything is going to be okay, please just open your eyes, please don't go...' His words got distorted into loud cries after your soul, he was hugging your corpse hoping to revive you again, he wanted for you to wake up and tell him it was all a joke, he wanted for you to wake up laughing.

'Why did this happen, why would anyone let this happen, it shouldn't be like this, why are they dead, why.' Countless questions of "why" were roaming around his head trying to make sense of the situation.

'If only I left the decay of angels, if only we saw each other less, why couldn't they killed instead why them, this isn't fair, why!' His cries could be heard throughout the building, the empty building in which in one could have saved you, in which how ever loud you shouted he could have never heard you and say his final goodbye, in which he could hear footsteps...

Footsteps in an abandoned building... who else was there? Are they the one who killed you? Did they come back for the body? Questions started to occupy Sigma's mind. He sat up pulling your body closer to his so he could see who was waking up to the room he was in while still being able to keep you close, not letting anyone take you away from him.

A tall figure came in through the door, stepping into the light so Sigma could recognise who the figure was, it was no one other than Fyodor.

'Were you the one who killed them!' Sigma shouted not bothering to hide the feelings of hatred and anger towards him but also the sadness of the loss. 'Yes, they were from the armed detective agency.' Fyodor started to slowly walk up to Sigma. 'You didn't have to kill them! Why, why did you do it, why didn't you kill me instead...' Sigma's voice started to fade away into a silent cry. 'Get up.' Fyodor's stern voice pulled Sigma's attention away from you and up to him again. 'You killed them! This is all your fault you bastard!' Fyodor was now standing directly in front of Sigma. 'My fault? I wasn't the who fell in love with someone from the armed detective agency, I wasn't the one who dragged them into a life of lies and secrets. Their death is your fault, it is your fault they suffered here, alone, it is your fault, everything is, if you left them alone they could be happily enjoying life.' Fyodor was right it's my fault, they are dead because of me, I caused them to suffered in pain and misery....

Sigma stood up after continously apologising to a corpse, he apologised for ever meeting him, he apologised for everything they had ever done and he did as Fyodor told him to, he got up. His body still shaking he followed Fyodor out of the building and he went home to rest.

'What am I going to do without them? How am I supposed to continue on living without them, why did they have to die! It should've been me, why wasn't it me! Please someone tell me why am I still alive! Why am I still alive! Please let me die!' Eventually his cries died out along with his soul.

༺♡༻ 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 ⋆ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 ༺♡༻

I feel like this wasn't that sad honestly but oh well, it's good enough, I hope yall enjoy this! :)

Have a wonderful day/night and don't forget to take care of yourself!!!

-with love, Az :)

[spritehouse]

On Repeat Prompts

(mostly angst) prompts inspired by my "on repeat" playlist on spotify!

Wrong People (Faye Webster) "Maybe I took what you said a little too. Maybe I took it just far enough." taken too far | arguments | "I didn't mean it like that"

Suspend Your Disbelief (Matt Maltese) "Maybe I'm just bones in a hell-bound motion" brought down to earth | insignificance/undervalued | "Nothing I do matters"

A Lot's Gonna Change (Weyes Blood) "Go back to a time when I was just a girl" matured/grew up too fast | innocence | "I was just a kid"

I'd have to think about it (Leith Ross) "I'm scared to death I'll scream your name" remeeting/re-entering someone's life | reunion | "I missed you"

A Dream With a Baseball Player (Faye Webster) "How did I fall in love with someone I don't know?" falling out of love | strangers | "I don't recognize you anymore"

Mortician (Matt Maltese) "I'll do my best to not romanticize" falling too quickly | blind adoration | "I love everything about you"

Andromeda (Weyes Blood) "Stop calling. It's time to let me be" sudden disconnection/isolation | ghosting | "This is for the best"

We'll Never Have Sex (Leith Ross) "You kissed me just to kiss me." gentle/intimate, non-sexual touches | touch aversion | "You're in control"

Is It Too Much To Ask (Faye Webster) "Maybe you'll give up and come home" one-sided attraction | distance | "I'll be right here."

Driving Just to Drive (Matt Maltese) "Maybe it meant nothing" silent car rides | leaving | "Where are we going?"

Salt Lake City (Etta Marcus & Matt Maltese) "This town doesn't suit you, this town doesn't suit me" leaving everything behind | starting over | "Will you come with me?"

Shotgun (Pomplamoose & dodie) "If you need me you know where I'll be" road trips | sightseeing | "We aren't lost" ("We're lost")

right side of my neck (Faye Webster) kisses at the door | goodbyes | "I miss you already"

Lobster (Matt Maltese) "People come and go, that's how it works" left behind | abandoned | "It's okay, I know."

In The Middle (dodie) "I held his hand like I held yours" still in love | moving on | "I still love you"

Not Strong Enough (boy genius) "I don't know why I am the way I am" proving yourself | dysfunctional | "I don't know why I'm like this"

Remember When (Faye Webster) "I remember when you were happy just to walk me to my car" lost excitement | mundane | "You used to make my heart race"

Studio 6 (Matt Maltese) "I remember one of those mornings, I reached out to wake you" learning to live without them | grief | "I see parts of them in everything"

Hate Myself (dodie) "I'm not magical, I can't read your mind" silent treatment | blame | "What did I do?"

Emily I'm Sorry (boy genius) "We can burn out in the freezing cold" mutual (self) destruction | unhealthy relationship | "I'm sorry."

Come to Atlanta (Faye Webster) "Why won't you come here to visit?" hidden relationship | shame | "You haven't told them about us?"

Sad Dream (Matt Maltese) "It seems a small price now that you've destroyed me" cutting ties | bad dreams | "Can we still be friends?"

Ready Now (dodie) "I'd forgotten people are kind" friendly face in a crowd | reaching out | "How did you know?"

Guts (Aiden Alexander) "You miss me. While I'm indifferent" one-sided relationship | manipulated | "I was using you."

old post from my drafts but i want to use some of these :)

[ae-azile]

For the ask fic game: 1, 11, and 14 for your Dancing Hedgehog series? Please and thank you!

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

Giant Dancing Hedgehogs are Nightmare Fuel started as a one-shot and has grown into a multi-fic series that is several hundred thousand words and has both prequels and sequels. So it was far what I expected to write, but I guess - once I decided to go back to the one-shot and continue it - I decided to approach it to explore some of my favorite genres: angst, romance, hurt/comfort, and absolute crack/comedy. All at once. I did this because I feel like KP is the perfect fandom to explore these genres with. The series is filled with dramatic romance, angst, trauma, and wildly comedic moments. I just took the last two up a notch and added a magical weighted blanket, but gave myself wiggle room to write a more serious and angsty ArmKhun centric prequel (which still has comedy, but it's a bit more grounded), and a very serious VegasPete centric prequel. The sequel focuses on making things more fantastical and plot heavy with dream sharing, hidden sisters, Tawan's angelic doppelganger brother, forced memory loss, and captive mothers that need to be tracked down and saved. So I feel like the inspiration from the series developed gradually because I left the genres broad enough to be as angsty and silly as I wanted.

11. What do you like the best about this fic?

There are different things I like about each one so I will list them. This answer is long, so I am putting a cut.

Giant Dancing Hedgehogs are Nightmare Fuel

This is the fic that kicked the series off. From a completely biased perspective, the thing I like best about it when I read it is how it reunites the cousins and lets them hold themselves accountable for their actions in ways that don't bring them complete shame. They have chosen a path towards healing their wounds, understanding the perspectives of others, and trying to find clarity after being manipulated/abused by their fathers for so long. So I like that this does that and still finds ways to be silly, because laughter is a great medicine. The boys need to laugh.

As a writer? I am impressed and annoyed by how much it evolved as I was writing it. I did not plan out shit, no matter how it looks, and I love and hate that the backstories and offhanded remarks I would write that would fully flesh it out found ways to spiral into full plots or stories in my head that had to be further explored. Like, there was going to be no magical blanket. That wasn't thought of until Vegas wakes up holding it, saying it's an entity or haunted. The mothers weren't going to be alive. Gun and Pete's dad weren't going to have some past affair as a skeleton in both of their closets. Idk, I just made stuff up and wrote it down whenever I thought it was funny.

5, 3, 1, and On

Out of all of my fics, this might be the one I am most proud of. It feels the most mature to me without losing a comedic element or ignoring the gravity of Arm's and Tankhun's past traumas. Also, Tankhun is probably my absolute favorite character. I want all fics to be about him. I think I may be one of the only people to post a novel length and complete fic where Tankhun is part of the main pairing (if I am wrong, send those long fics my way!)

As for Arm, his tragic backstory was interesting to develop and also flexible, because we know very little about Arm. We know he is incredibly capable and should be the head guard now that Chan is gone, but he is also a part of the mafia. I feel like people who accept that kind of job have a story behind why. So making Arm kill a dozen pedophiles singlehandedly and expose his Dean for embezzlement seemed like it might be a way that touches upon just how capable he is. He is sent on missions, he hacks into other networks and systems, and is so good with Tankhun. And that's just from the little we do see. Expanding on that with an off take was fun.

The Weighted Blanket Ad No One Expected (But Everyone Deserves)

This one is a bit easier to answer: I love the girl power. I love that I was able to make Namphueng a more complex character, brought in four significant female OCs in the form of Vegas's mother - Milan, Vegas's grandmother - Fern, the major family mother - Dao, and the secret, long lost sister who is a teenage bodyguard, a baddie, and a dancing fiend - Aree. I really enjoyed developing all of them, especially Aree since creating her showed Porsche and Chay just how much they were robbed of and what Aree was robbed of.

I also love Benz. The readers also seem to love Benz, and I love this because when he was first introduced (prior to him saying a word) everyone wanted him dead due to looking just like his biological brother (who he never met). After a couple of scenes, everyone who mentioned him in their comments were ready to kill for him. I also liked including him because Vegas's and Kim's autism (in the fic) is able to go by without being easily detected if you don't know them. I have written Vegas as someone who has learned to mask over the years - especially after his mother died - and Kim as someone more introverted, which makes it so his symptoms might be dismissed as just that. With Benz, it's much more noticable. He stims in public, struggles with speech off and on, is extremely picky with food, likely has an auditory processing disorder paired with sensory issues, and hyperfixates on his special interest intensely. His symptoms have also likely become more profound due to the consistent emotional and physical abuse inflicted on him by his mother, not being diagnosed and supported, and not having other family members to fall back on until Kim welcomes him in and makes it a goal to protect him, with Aree following that goal after witnessing just how awful Tak (his mother and Korn's fiancee) is to him. So writing him as a multi-faceted character that readers empathized with is a pride moment.

Also, I like my two semi-original couples in it: Macau/Aree and Namphueng/Milan. This BL world NEEDS a token straight couple and lesbian couple! 😂 While Namphueng and Milan are rekindling their old teenage romance secretly at the moment, I have been developing Macau and Aree since chapter 7, I think? I loved making Macau confirm that he is straight, loved having Vegas empathize with Aree's past and situation rather than deem them as reasons Macau should reconsider his feelings for her, and just like what they have brought out in each other. I also like inverting expectations by making Macau the soft and inexperienced one and making Aree the more blunt, forward, and physically capable one (not that Macau isn't. He likely grew up training to defend himself and others. But Aree is fucking FIERCE).

So yeah, I really loved creating the OCs/semi-OCs, along with writing them in pairings that seemed to still stay engaging to readers somehow. I also loved incorporating sign language as a way to give Namphueng access to communication. I loved it so much that I have used it in multiple fics, just like I love Aree and made her a character in Lay Me Down to Sleep with a similar background but facing very different circumstances. ♥️

Before We Forget

This one is only 6 chapters so far and I update it sporadically, but I love exploring Vegas as a teen. This is before his first kill and shows how his first relationship with Pete developed. This is a Vegas who knows he has to be guarded, but he's too honest and desperate for someone to just see him and take an interest in him. He's sensitive and is not good at covering sadness. It's an emotion he feels a lot of due to the hot and cold treatment he receives from his father, being parentified (despite loving his brother very much), missing his "dead" mother desperately, being disconnected from his cousins since his mother and aunt died and resenting them, being pumped out for deals, and falling in love with the new major family bodyguard close to his age. The thing is - and maybe because it's from Vegas's POV - but I feel like he wears his heart on his sleeve more than Pete does. Pete puts on such a convincing happy demeanor that Vegas has yet to catch on that Pete's history is not a good one. Pete, however, catches onto Vegas struggling. I think he has barely scraped the surface, but he can see Vegas needs a friend who will provide some comfort. But that's hard to do in a secret, teenage romance. So yeah, I think writing Vegas as someone facing so much but still so hopeful for love and change is what I like the most. ♥️

14. Is there anything you want readers to learn from this fic?

I guess considering the series is all over the place in terms of genre, I suppose I want readers to find the joy in cross-genre fics, since life is full of happy, funny, romantic, sad, funny, and enraging moments. If they are thinking of writing, don't be afraid to write something weird, put your characters in absurd situations, or give them specific characteristics or quirks that aren't normally found in media. Absurdity can bring on beauty and broaden your writing skills, since it's fun to implement those absurd or over-the-top moments in a way that aligns themselves with the story's tone.

Thank you for the ask @fawndlyvenus! ♥️

[fiepige]

brooo I literally can't get over how much I love your concept 😭

im reading through your pinned post over and over again to help me write my Venom!Hobie inspired fanfic and its absolutely blowing my mind

you have a beautiful brain

also do you think venom!hobie, when the symbiote mostly takes him over, would eat people like cops or criminals by choice? or would he be against eating people at all

cuz I'm trying to have a scene where when he first gets taken over by venom he gets really hungry and the symbiote kind of takes over and when he wakes up he realizes he accidentally ate someone without even realizing

that sounds really stupid rn but I swear it'll sound better when I actually write it out I just want ur feedback 😭

much love <3

😭

AAHHHH Thank you so much!!! I don't even know what to say!! Just!!! Thank you SO MUCH you are so kind!!! 💜💜💜💜💜

(I'm still insanely happy that Venom!Hobie could inspire someone else to actually write a fic about him! Like how cool is that?!?)

imo Venom!Hobie can have a little cannibalism, as a treat

lol in all seriousness though, I personally like to think that even though the symbiote definitely has the upper hand when taking control, Hobie still gets to influence it in some smaller ways

- such as his hatred for cops in particular still shining through (the symbiote would be aware of Hobie's influense but it wouldn't really mind as long as it gets to eat some humans- food is food lol), but if he got really hungry and there weren't any cops around I'm not sure his influence would be strong enough to prevent them from targeting someone else... (again I'm just a sucker for angst, the thought of Hobie being driven so desperate by hunger that he just lets the symbiote do what needs to be done to make the hunger go away is just!!! 👌)

Of course Hobie himself would normally be against eating people- it's one thing to kill a cop (which he has done before). Killing a cop and eating the body is a whole other story. But I like the idea of the symbiote manipulating its host to an extent where they don't even realise how messed up their actions are!

(after all the symbiote would usually have to manipulate its host into killing someone first, since most spider people don't kill, and then it'd have to make its host eat the body as well! In Venom!Hobie's case the symbiote can pretty much skip step one since Hobie isn't against killing in the first place (as long as it's cops or something in that vein) so I feel like it could probably push Hobie to eat people as well. Wether or not Hobie is conscious/lucid while doing so could depend on the situation)

Hope this helps! 💜 If not, please let me know if there's something you want me to elaborate on, I sorta just start to ramble when I talk about this guy lol 😅 (I love your take on him so don't be afraid to do your own thing with him if you want!)

Also! That scene sounds so good!!!! 👀👌👀 Can't wait to read it!!!! Him waking up and realising he's eaten someone while not even being aware of it?!? Oh this is gonna be so good I just know it!!! 👀💜👀

Thank you so much for this ask (I'm always down to talk about Venom!Hobie!!!) and the kind words! They made my day 💜💜💜

[unstablerk800]

𝕊𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: RK900/Fem!Reader (third person)

Tags (tagging as I go): post-android revolution, kidnapping, angst/fluff, hurt/comfort, Stockholm syndrome, protective RK900, manipulation, solitary confinement, blood, injury, violence, gore, illnesses, RK800, RK800-60 and RK900 are considered siblings Read on Ao3.

Chapter 2.

Chapter 3. 🔽

Chapter 4.

Word count: 6,214

The natural order of the world was established anew after RK900 was activated. 200,000 of them was enough to hack themselves into everything and destroy half of America. So humans became what they should be in the new world order. They became the slaves, and androids were their new masters.

But then, she spiraled into nightmares that made her whimper and hold tightly onto the blanket. Connor observed her, conflicted, unsure whether he should wake her up or not. For some reason, she was mumbling "nines" over and over again.

When it got too intense, Connor ever so gently pulled her out of her nightmare. With reassuring words and gentle shoulder rubbing, she woke up, disoriented and unsure where she was. Connor's presence made her nervous at first, but after rethinking her day, she realised he wouldn't cause her any harm as he was an android.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, tilting his head. "We're well into the afternoon, maybe you should have a bite or two."

"Not really", she admitted quietly. "But I can try."

Connor smiled at her, and they went back out in the kitchen together. He prepared a meal; nothing complicated, a salad packed with colourful fresh veggies and a few slices of fried chicken bites. While she waited, he gave her two ice packs to bring down the bruises; one for her cheek, one for her stomach.

"Every android cooks well?" She asked after she put down the ice packs and tasted the first incredible bite.

"I wasn't designed for cooking", Connor admitted as he sat beside her with a little smile. He acted and spoke like a human, it would've been so easy to think he was one, if not for the circle of blue light on his right temple. "But after the uprising we've shared knowledge with each other."

"I'm so envious", she mumbled after she swallowed a mouthful. "I could never get the hang of cooking."

"I'm just following the recipe", he shrugged and she groaned.

"I've followed a recipe once and set the pasta on fire", she rolled her eyes, making him laugh lightly. "I'm glad RK900 always leaves me meals in the fridge."

"Have you been with him for long?"

She frowned. She couldn't remember.

"I... don't know. I don't even know what's today's date."

"20th December", Connor tilted his head.

"Well... I was taken from my home on 11th November. I've spent a few days at a camp." She paused. That was the first time she'd seen dead people with her own eyes. Strangely enough, it didn't really shake her, at least not as much as someone might think it should. Perhaps because modern times were cruel; information spread like wildfire, and she had been trained to not bat an eyelash at the horrors. "Maybe a month? I can't be sure."

"I didn't agree with the camps", Connor said quietly, making her frown.

"But we deserved it", she muttered, making him frown in turn.

"Did you?"

"We were the first who started slaughtering your people, isn't that correct?" She dug in the salad and ate another bite. That was the best she ever had. "I could understand the wish for revenge."

"Many would argue with you about us being a separate species", Connor wondered out loud.

"I've seen Markus's speech live when it happened", she mumbled, "and then after, the peaceful walk that ended in bloodshed. I've talked to a lot of other people who thought that this was bound to happen sooner or later, and we agreed that the way the government treated the situation was a crime. They didn't do anything bad there; they just wanted to be recognised as conscious beings."

They remained in silence for a while as she was eating the last of the salad. Then, she drank from the now cold tea.

"Perhaps if those big fat heads of Detroit listened with their hearts, it would've ended differently. Perhaps... humans and androids would've lived in peace and harmony." She half smiled in her mug. "But we are what we are, aren't we? We build things only to destroy them."

Connor remained silent for a few seconds before he hummed.

"Can I ask something?" He half smiled at her then. When she nodded, he continued. "Who or what is 'nines'? You kept saying that when you were asleep."

"Oh." She blushed a little. "That's... his numbers. There're so many nines, right?"

"You had a dream with him?"

"No", she sheepishly looked away. "I can't remember if I had a dream about anything."

Connor couldn't determine whether she lied or not. But then...

"He's here", he informed her.

"Thank you for the salad and the tea."

She stood up from the chair. She was aware that Connor probably picked up how her heart started to beat like crazy at the prospect that RK900 would arrive soon. And he just appeared in the door, silently like a ghost, as if he'd always been there; his eyes on her at once while her eyes settled on the coat and his number instead, only letting her shoulders relax when she saw all the nines.

"Punctual, as always", Connor said as he stood from the chair as well, smiling as he approached RK900.

"I was determined to keep my promise this time", RK900 replied nonchalantly, making her stomach feel funny at his words. "Connor?"

"Everything was alright", RK800 replied softly, reaching out a hand towards RK900, who did the same.

She frowned as she watched them remove their synthetic skin on their fingers and hands, touching each other while their LEDs blinked on and off in yellow. It didn't last long, just a few seconds, before they broke the connection again.

Connor picked up her coat afterwards, bringing it back to her and helping her into it.

"See you tomorrow, then", he said cheerfully, making her frown with disbelief as she turned to look up in his eyes. "Nines has to work on something, and he doesn't want you to be alone."

Even though Connor was the first to address RK900 as Nines, the taller android did not complain about it. It seemed that it'd be his nickname to separate him from everyone else. She didn't argue – what could she say to make RK900 change his mind about bringing her with himself anyway? –, just sighed, looking down at her boots.

"Alright, see you tomorrow", she agreed quietly, then turned around to walk up to RK900 who silently spun on his heels and walked right back to the elevator.

She followed him without saying a word. She wasn't sure why, but she felt like that the ice broke between them; he had expressed so much more than before that day, including admitting that he thought he lost her, which made her think now. Was he afraid he arrived too late? And if so… why? He just kept her around like a pet… surely, if he had lost her, he could pick up someone else from one of the camps again…

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, startling her a little.

"Nothing specific", she bit her lower lip, knowing he could easily catch her lying just by her body language.

"How did the day go?"

She frowned to herself a little as she busied herself pulling up the zipper of her coat. Did he really want to do some small talk?

"Connor already showed you, didn't he?"

She mumbled the question as she was fumbling with the fur on the inside of the rim. It kept stuck in the zip as she was attempting to pull it up.

"Indeed", he agreed, watching her struggle with an unreadable expression – which she didn't see anyway because she was so 'busy' –, "but I want to hear it from you."

She didn't have to glance up in his face to know he was staring at her, analyzing her. She wondered silently why he wanted to understand her so much; she wasn't special at all, even if he had put a golden collar around her neck. Frankly, that was the only thing special about her.

"It passed slowly", she admitted.

"Slowly?"

She gave up with the zipper with a defeated sigh, pouting that it didn't work for her. RK900 ever so gently touched her arm, pulling her softly to make her turn to him. He silently untangled the zip and pulled it up for her.

"Thanks", she sighed, still looking at his hands as he lowered them.

"I've noticed your stress level was high lately", he commented, "I figured some company would do you some good. And yet, it didn't get lower at all. It's still high." When she didn't answer, just stared forward, he continued. "It's always high."

"Perhaps my stress level is high in general", she shrugged as they arrived to level 0 with the elevator.

He left that without a comment as they stepped out of the elevator, walked through the vast hall of the building, to his car. She obediently got in the car and let him buckle her up. She watched him move in front of the car to get in from the other side; he moved so smoothly and silently, even if he was so big, that it got her thinking whether he had been listening in when she was talking to Connor.

It didn't matter though. They probably shared data over their connection anyway. Nothing she did or said could remain hidden from him. Strangely, that gave her a sense of comfort. He was constantly looking after her. If anything, it was making her feel safe.

"Does it bother you if my stress level is high?" She asked then as the car, automatically, started to drive.

"Yes."

She glanced at him, but he was staring forward, his LED spinning from time to time in blue.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to be stressed, especially around me."

Every answer brought another question out of her.

"Why?"

The moment he turned his head to look at her, she tore her gaze away, glancing outside at the streets of Detroit.

"I don't know", he replied then, his voice barely louder than how the engine roared in the car.

She occupied herself watching the buildings and the androids working on them. Despite most of the houses were destroyed, it seemed that they wanted to rebuild them. She thought of how a new era dawned on humanity, in which they'd be kept around as necessary evil. Pets. Pests. She glanced at her fingers in her lap ins

"I think", he spoke then, after mimicking a sigh, "I want to make sure you're safe.

"You don't have to", she mumbled.

"No, I don't", he confirmed, "but I want to."

Irrationality. Irrationality in a machine. That didn't make sense. He didn't make sense. Of course, she was aware they were deviants – at least, that was what the media kept calling them as; malfunctioning machines that believed they've developed consciousness –, but to hear him saying these words out loud…

"I only feel safe when you're around", she confessed.

"And yet", he leaned back in the seat, placing one hand on the steering wheel, even if he didn't need to drive the car himself, "you don't even dare to look me in the eye."

She swallowed and started to fumble with the edge of her coat.

"It feels disrespectful."

Silence settled between them, and the air seemed to fill with electricity. Her nerves picked up that something was different; something shifted, changed. Her throat became dry, and she suddenly felt too hot in the car.

"Disrespectful." He echoed. She tried to pick up what mood did her reply put him in, but she couldn't decide. "In what way is it disrespectful?"

Since he mentioned that he was analyzing her often and noticed her high stress level, she found the question hilarious. Because if she kept gazing in his icy eyes, her stress level definitely would raise even more every time. She recalled the look he had on his face when they'd made eye contact earlier that day. Was he even aware how unbearably handsome he was?

She had to take a step back in mind at this thought. Did she find him handsome? Oh God. This started to become worse with every passing hour.

"Looking in Connor's eyes doesn't make you feel disrespectful?"

She flushed at the speed of light and nervously fumbled more with the edge of her coat. Connor looked smaller… friendlier… calmer. And his chocolate brown eyes made her feel calm. In her mind, they were two completely different beings.

"No", she admitted.

"I'm basically him, just more advanced", he pointed it out, but she shook her head. "Why not?" He kept pressing on the matter, making her want to jump out of the car. "Are you afraid of me?"

"I'd be a fool if I wasn't afraid of you", she muttered.

"Have I given you a reason to be afraid?"

He had asked this question for the second time in the same day. She wondered what would be the best reply. She nibbled on her lower lip.

"Well, no… not you, specifically", she decided. "But I have a vague idea what you're capable of."

"I have told you I want to keep you safe", he half turned to her but she still didn't look at him. "I have told you I wouldn't want you to feel stressed in my presence. Your emotions are illogical."

"Are they?" She wondered out loud.

He remained in silence for a while, and she chanced a look in his direction. Not directly up in his face, but towards him.

"When Connor said RK900, you said safety", he reminded her, letting her know that they really shared memories with each other. She chewed on her lower lip. "How can you be afraid of me if you feel safe with me?"

"Do you think these things can't coexist?" She raised a brow, then shook her head and glanced out the window in the front.

He stayed silent for a few seconds as he was processing what she'd said.

"What proof do you need?"

"I don't need proof", she frowned at the sight of the bare trees just as they left the city. "I need time."

"Well", he turned forward as well, "we have plenty of that."

During the rest of the ride, they remained silent, and she could think about all of her confusing emotions concerning him. This didn't start like this. She had a very bad experience with men in the past; frankly, she always thought she'd die alone because they couldn't be trusted. She hadn't even felt physical attraction to any of them, or anyone, for that matter…

Until now.

Something went wrong here with her and RK900. She started to notice him in a different way. Thinking back again how he stared back in her eyes when she begged him not to kill that man made her cheeks heat up, and she didn't even understand why. There was something she couldn't understand about herself, and she wasn't able to describe it, either. There was Connor, for example. He didn't make her feel anything at all, even if they were identical – well, apart from the eye colour and physical size.

In any case, she would try and ignore it. That'd be best for both of them.

Upon arriving in front of the house, she unbuckled herself and exited the car. Her feet instantly slipped out from under her. She forgot about the ice, and if she wasn't in enough pain already, she could add her butt to the list.

"Oww", she complained softly with a painful grimace. "Oww", she complained again, because pain seared across her cheek from the grimace itself.

RK900 was there in an instant. She could see in her peripheral vision that he had almost leapt in front of her, the ice not bothering him at all. He reached down under her arm and helped her to her feet.

Then, to her surprise, he picked her up in his arms.

Bridal style.

"What are you doing?" She asked, shocked.

"Wouldn't want you to slip again", he explained in a deadpan tone, "easier to carry you like this."

"But- I can walk", she countered, her cheeks burning with a deep shade of red.

"You've suffered enough injuries for one day", he closed the argument, walking with her to the door which opened automatically in front of him. He settled her on her feet then, then raised back up to his full height in front of her. "Are you alright?" His voice sounded different now, as if he had been worried, but she didn't dare to look up to check, she stared at the numbers on his coat stubbornly.

"Yes", she mumbled, pulling the zip down on her coat and leaning down to get her boots off.

She couldn't. She bent down halfway and had to stop, because her stomach was in too much pain. She let out a whine.

"What's wrong?" He asked, observing her for a few moments. "Your stomach, isn't it?"

"I'm fine", she repeated, bracing herself to lean further down, but his hands on her shoulders stopped her.

"Why are you causing yourself even more pain?"

"I can-"

"Stop it", RK900 snapped, and she shut her mouth. "Sit down in the kitchen."

"But-"

"Now", he added, and she let out a defeated sigh before she shuffled over to one of the chairs in the kitchen. He leaned down and took her boots off. "I'll get you a painkiller."

She didn't argue with him, and he returned with the pill and a glass of water in a few seconds. As she swallowed the pill and the water, she felt his stare on her face. She didn't look up at him.

"You know", he had mimicked a sharp inhale, "I almost couldn't stop myself when I saw the damage he'd done to you."

Some colour had been drained from her cheeks at those words. He walked over to her and crouched in front of her, searching for her eyes. She looked away, clearly signalling that she did not want to talk about that. The scene replayed in her mind; the way he had grabbed the man by his throat, the indication that he'd crush his neck, tear muscles and shatter the bones. She knew he would be capable of doing that.

"And you ask me why I'm afraid of you", she whispered, looking down at her hands.

He reached up to take her hands in his. Surprisingly, all the colour, and even more, rushed back in her face. His hands were so big compared to hers; the plastic padding around his digits, palm and back of his hand felt nice, while his fingertips and palms had this... odd texture. Sure, these weren't the hands of a human. But it was a direct touch, and he granted one of her wishes without him even knowing about it.

She was actually touching his hands. His big hands, his long, gentle fingers. She wanted to melt off from the chair. Her brows furrowed when she realised his fingers were warm to her touch.

"What is it?" He murmured. "Repulsed by touching plastic?"

Did he think of himself this way when he wondered what she was thinking about him? His question had left her in shock for a few moments. Was she repulsed by the fact he was plastic and metal and thirium? Smiling a little, she shook her head.

"No."

She chanced a look in his eyes. His cool, grey gaze bore into hers so heavily, so intensely, that she'd forgotten what she wanted to say. Why did the look on his face make her heart race so fast? How was it possible that a machine like him could stare at her like this? As if he had been craving her to look at him; as if he had been starving for it?

She took a little, shaky breath to collect her thoughts. Everything about him was enigmatic; every little bit he had given from himself made her ask more questions about him and herself. Sure, he had fixed her with a stare that froze her in the chair, as if she had been a deer caught in the headlights, but she wanted to tell him the truth.

"I'm not repulsed by you", she confessed finally, breaking the tension of the silence between them. Then, with great effort, she tore her gaze away from him and she glanced down at their hands again. "I was surprised that your hand is warm."

"I can control my body's heat to suit your needs."

Her needs. He warmed his hands up just for her.

"You don't need to do anything to suit my needs", she pointed it out, making him hum quietly.

"No, I don't."

Yet, he did it anyway.

"Everything you do, surprises me", she confessed quietly.

"Is that so?" He let her touch his fingers still, in any way she liked.

"You're nice to me", she mumbled, turning his hand upside down, and she observed his palm. "When it's clear that the other humans are treated very differently."

"Have you thought about why is that?" He let her stroke his palm, to slide her fingertips lightly over it.

"I think", she sighed, "it's because I'm obedient."

"There's more to it than that", he half smiled, trying to ignore how good her light touches actually felt. Being caressed by someone else wasn't something he experienced until now, and now he realised he liked it. "It's calculated over a specific time, taking every action and reaction into consideration. Rest assured", his voice dropped a little deeper, "this one you're wearing is the only one of it's kind in Detroit."

She was still looking at his hand as he spoke, trailing the artificial lines on his palm with feather light touches. He did not pull his synthetic skin back, and it looked as real as any other hand, save for the different texture.

"Why?"

"Because everyone else fights back, sooner or later. Most of them fail a test on the first day. The open door and the weapon are too tempting."

It was somehow... horrifying to know that each and every human owned by an android was subjected to tests like that. She wasn't even aware he was testing her. What else was a test? Taking the pills he offered? Eating properly? Her responses to his questions? Her body language? It all made her slightly nervous.

"But you've saved my life", she pointed it out quietly. "Why would I turn against you?"

His hesitation to answer made her lift her gaze. The look on his face betrayed his slight surprise, but only for a moment before he furrowed his brows.

"There had been others who'd been saved in a similar way. They all turned against us." When he paused and she said nothing, he leaned just a bit closer to her. "Why don't you?"

Oh God. It was impossible to look away.

She had spent several seconds observing his face. She'd done this before, sure, but not from this close, and never when he had his eyes open and he was alert. His asymmetrical brows, cold, grey eyes, the dots of moles scattered on his face, his nose and… and his lips. She needed to make a conscious effort to look away from his lips, making him tilt his head slightly when she started to silently count the moles on his cheeks instead.

"I guess I've made my peace with my new place in this new world", she sighed then, glancing down at his palm again. She drew a circle on it. "What would I do if I escaped, anyway? I have nowhere to go. No one waits for me out there."

He was trying to assess her mood and motives. If it hadn't been alarming until now that she didn't attempt to fight back at all, now he started to feel a certain… unease. Her pulse was slower now than usual, but still not relaxed enough. As if she always was on edge.

"No one?" He asked with a twitch of his brows.

"I'm not as sociable as other people."

"And why is that?"

"I can't trust people", she murmured softly, drawing shapes on his palm. "I was abandoned after birth. I was abused in the orphanage I grew up in. When I turned adult and moved out in an apartment as big as this kitchen, I've met a wealthy man who offered a lot of money for a series of experiments. I had nothing, and I needed the money, so I agreed."

He didn't miss how her lips trembled, how her pupils widened, how her pulse fastened. When she continued, her voice was barely above a whisper.

"He took everything from me. My dignity, my future. I couldn't trust anyone after that. I lived alone and I hated my job, if one can even call it that. I think…" She paused, biting her lower lip before she continued, "I think you're the best that ever happened to me. I mean… you look after me. You keep me safe. Why would I go against this all, when I finally found peace and safety?"

"So", he hummed after a few seconds, "all is well?"

"All is well."

They've spent the rest of the evening in a strangely domestic fashion. While she had her shower, he prepared a meal for her and watched her eat. There weren't many words between them, and she still felt that strange, almost touchable electricity between them. It seemed that now that it built up between them, it'd return from time to time. She wondered what was it.

"I was wondering", she murmured as she was finishing her meal. He had given her his undivided attention, making her feel hot from the inside out as it became slightly easier to look in his eyes, even if he could make her blush with a single look. "When you sit on the couch every evening... what are you doing?"

"Multiple things", he slightly tilted his head, his tone monotone and calm. "From recharging to catching up with others, updating my systems, scanning for problems. I need a few hours for every cycle to run it's course."

"So you're, like... asleep?"

"Technically, yes", he cocked half a brow, just slightly, narrowing his eyes at her. "Why are you asking?"

"Just..." She played around with the napkin in her nervous hands, glancing down at it to gather her thoughts. It was almost impossible to do so if he was staring back at her. "I just wondered if you can, you know... feel me, when I snuggle up to you."

"I'm not really aware of my surroundings when I'm recharging, but I do sense you in a way." Now he sounded less monotone, as if her wondering poking around had peaked his interest. "And I can't understand why you're doing that."

She shrugged, carefully avoiding his gaze, her cheeks flushed a deeper pink. RK900 scanned her. Elevated pulse and rising stress level yet again. Fight-or-flight instinct? He wondered. For the thousandth time that day.

"So, care to tell me why are you leaning against me every evening if you're truly afraid of me?"

"Dunno", she shrugged again, stubbornly staring at the napkin. She was regretting even bringing this topic up in the first place. Why did he have to interrogate her at every sentence? "I guess I don't want to be alone."

"You're not alone if I'm in the house", he pointed it out. "How about you tell me the truth?"

She pressed her lips together in defiance. No, she wouldn't answer that. She put the napkin down and decided to flee.

"I'm sleepy, so I'll go to bed", she declared.

RK900 processed her words and was left totally in the dark about the sudden change of her voice and demeanor. He watched her clean up after herself – she always did –, and as he rose from the chair himself, she turned to look him in the eye, making his mind palace suffer some sort of short circuit, forcing him to forget what he wanted to say. He blinked at her as he tried to grasp control back over his software.

"Thank you for the dinner", she said, "it was really delicious."

Before he could say anything, she had left the kitchen, leaving him there to try and understand her behaviour. Nothing she did made sense now, but he couldn't let her go to bed in her state. Not yet. She was in the middle of the living room when he caught up with her.

"Wait", he told her and she stopped walking immediately, looking back at the numbers on his coat and not at his face. That slightly annoyed him. "Your injuries need treatment before you go to sleep."

"I'm fine."

She almost whined. Her pulse elevated further. It was visible that she did not want to talk about her bruises – or perhaps anything else – anymore. RK900 furrowed his brows slightly at her, but she didn't make eye contact. Did he say or do something wrong?

"Connor gave me ice so it's fine, really", she added, running a hand in her hair just to do something with herself. "I'll just... go to bed."

He sized her up again, frowning. She was really adamant on fleeing now; her behaviour made him wonder if she'd fall asleep on his shoulder again after he was finished with his usual evening session that night. He couldn't decide.

As he didn't answer, she spun on her heels and fled to the bedroom, closing the door. RK900 mimicked a sigh. She started to become difficult, but not in the sense most humans got difficult with their handlers. Rest assured, he did not understand what was happening.

And neither did she. She closed the bedroom door and leaned against it with her back, the darkness of the room making her feel too lonely and too cold. Without the light of his jacket, his ring arm, his LED at his temple, the world around her seemed so much darker and eerie than she thought. She had felt safe in his presence, that was true; and now that he wasn't around, she couldn't feel safe at all.

It wasn't like anything would attack her in the bedroom, right? Of course. She walked over to the bed and hid under the blanket, curling up under it; at least, curling up as much as her aching stomach allowed.

When would this confusion cease? She thought her day over – the chaos! –, and smiled and blushed against her pillow, despite the pain in her cheek, as she recalled how he picked her up in his arms after she fell because of the ice.

She flinched when the door opened without warning. His footsteps were quiet, but certain, and she glanced up at the little sources of light he emitted. He sat on the edge of the bed, and fumbled with something in his hands before he reached to her face to touch her bruised cheek.

"What's that?" She mumbled.

His fingers that wrapped around that man's throat over the collar felt warm and gentle against her cheek now. She barely could keep her eyes open at the sensation.

"For the bruises", he whispered back. "Then you can go to sleep."

She didn't argue now, just ever so softly leaned against his artificial warmth. He made sure her skin absorbed the cream before he applied more on her neck. If it was possible, his fingers were even more gentle there. She was sure he could feel her heavy, fast heartbeat against his fingertips as he was spreading the cream.

Then, he was pulling the blanket off of her.

She blushed at the speed of light, but didn't resist. It'd be futile, anyway. She could've tried to test her boundaries with him now, just as he tested her, but it wouldn't turn out good for her in the long run for sure. She'd need to remain obedient, docile. If androids would react differently to someone who had a different collar around their necks, she shouldn't risk pissing off RK900 who had the power to change her status in the new world in a blink.

She lifted herself up a bit as he was pulling her nightgown up on her form. When she first arrived here and he undressed her, she wasn't well enough to even comprehend what was happening. But she knew now. And her body reacted in a very different way to his touches than how it reacted a month ago. God, those warm fingers, his palm – sliding over and across her skin, from her belly button and across, just below her ribs, ever so gently working the cream in her skin.

"Ah", she couldn't help it, it just slipped out, and his hand stilled immediately.

"I'm sorry", he whispered, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

She wanted to say he didn't hurt her, but she couldn't bring herself to do so, because she was sure he'd ask why was she making that noise, and she definitely wouldn't answer that question. But in all honesty, her entire body started to relax and go putty at the gentle massage that miraculously did not hurt at all.

It created a problem, though. She honestly didn't want him to stop touching her. And he was already pulling the nightgown down on her form, then tucked her in gently.

"Goodnight", he said, and she half smiled up where she thought his eyes were.

"Goodnight", she murmured softly.

He walked out, leaving her alone with her confusing thoughts. It took her a long time to fall asleep, and even then, she started to toss and turn and whimper. She was trying to get away from scary people who were chasing her, threatening to cut her head off to get her golden collar. She had felt fingers in her hair yanking her backwards and that broke through her nightmare, making her scream at the top of her lungs as she shot upright in the bed.

RK900, of course, burst through the door in an instant, his LED spinning in crimson, but only for a moment before it reverted to blue when he saw she was alright. Although, she wasn't. She started to cry as she reached up for her collar, as if she was checking whether her neck was still intact around it.

"Bad dream?" He asked her and she nodded a few times, unable to reply. "Nothing can hurt you here", he added, placing his hand on the door's handle. "Try and go back to sleep."

"Wait!" She cried out for him when he took a step back and started to close the door again. "Please... don't go!" She sobbed as he had almost froze where he stood, unable to process what she was asking for. She said she was afraid of him, her body betrayed the same, and yet, she wanted him to stay? Whatever for? "Please don't go", she repeated, stroking her tears away, wincing at the pain in her bruised cheek. "Stay..."

"Are you sure?"

He had to ask. Because he was not.

"Yes", she was gripping the blanket as hard as she could with her hands, a way to express her frustration and distress. "Please stay. You could... sleep here."

"In the bed."

He didn't ask. He just stated it. And he couldn't help the disbelief that made it's way in his tone. She was chewing her lower lip.

"Yes. I mean, it's big enough for both of us, isn't it?"

He still wanted to ask whether she was sure of this or not, but he had done that already and she answered his question. Was he imagining things? He quickly dismissed the idea. Moving inside the room, he closed the door behind himself now. He silently slid out of his jacket and took his shoes off as well, then walked over to the bed, the only source of light being at his temple where his LED was blinking on and off in blue.

He occupied the empty space beside her in the bed. It really was enough for both of them. Only when he lied down, did she lie down as well, curling up and facing him while he was stoically laying on his back and stared at the ceiling. What was he doing here? This made no sense. She made no sense.

"Thank you", she murmured in the dark.

He could hear it only took her a few minutes to fall asleep again while he was analyzing the parts of his day with her again. He was running the saved memories in his mind palace over and over again behind his mind's eye, looking for an explanation how could this happen. She was skittish and fled the more he pressed on the matters, and he couldn't make more sense out of it even now.

When he had stopped trying to figure it out and came back in the room, he felt she snuggled up to him again in her sleep. She had wrapped an arm around his upper arm and clung to it as if it was her lifeboat on the vast ocean. He glanced down at her face squished against his shoulder, bruised side up, sleeping peacefully now.

That was the moment when he realised he'd tear the world apart to keep her safe.