#where's that post from a few months ago like “we're all going to remember that there's a story with themes OUTSIDE the romances right?”

[wardensantoineandevka]

one thing I did NOT miss about engaging in the Dragon Age fandom was 90% of meta and analysis about a character, the themes and narratives of their questine or even a related main quest, and/or associated institutions or parts of the world being written from the default of having romanced that character and positioning the character as romanced as the most proper and full version of them and their narrative

truly did not miss starting to read a post purportedly breaking down a portion of a character's main narrative and themes—portions that ARE romance agnostic—and getting four sentences in before the analysis starts openly filtering everything through the character being in love with the player character and assumes that everyone will also see this as the default mode

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[mirrorball-leclerc]

prologue - is it a wonder i broke?

series masterlist

liked by arthur_leclerc, fernandoalo_oficial, maxverstappen33 and others

ines_sainz i am what i am cause you trained me. the after and before.

view all comments

user01 girl a soft launch? while we're still processing you leaving racing?

user02 the before being spain and racing and the after being monaco and no racing makes me sad.

maxverstappen33 pick up the phone! i just want to talk!

ines_sainz you know where i live. just come over? maxverstappen33 that's too far! ines_sainz get the fuck up and walk?

fernandoalo_oficial todo bien?

ines_sainz eh más o menos fernandoalo_oficial ay nena que voy a hacer contigo? user03 their father daughter bond makes me coo. it's so special to me.

user04 is the caption shade?

user05 but to who? her family? user04 i will go to war if her family forced her out of racing. user06 same, we ride at fucking dawn bitches

charles_leclerc fancy a game of goat simulator?

alex_albon OH COUNT ME IN! georgerussell63 if it's as bad as last time, count me out. ines_sainz only if i can invite my super secret friends. charles_leclerc oscar and logan are not super secret. they were around last time. arthur_leclerc and why was i not invited? ines_sainz charles said you weren't cool enough.

user07 the way she looks so sad in the after. i wanna cry for her.

user08 no cause i remember her saying, 'without racing i don't know who i am' and now i'm crying. user07 WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT BRITNEY??

user09 now where the heck is carlos? he usually drags her by now.

user10 me thinks that rumor from a few months ago was about the sainz siblings and not the leclerc brothers like everyone thought. user11 makes sense carlos would be jealous of his little sister for being better than he is. imagine helmut marko publicly saying that 'she would've been miles better than her older brother.' user09 sometimes a man's hell is a teenage girl.

*translation is included in the second set of texts

¡taglist!

@minmira95 @lesliiieeeee @vroomvroommuppett @prongsvault @justtprachisblog @scuderiadevils @cataf1 @chezmardybum @formulaal @lilsiz @norstappenvibes @ironspdy @nikfigueiredo @hinamesgigantica @niniluvsainz @matchaverse @fakeikeastore @theseus-jpg @six-call @81folklore

¡not taggable!

@ashlovestoread1411 @books-thingys-andstuff @nothanqks @yeanoskrrt @ale-522

¡leclerc-s speaks!

for now, it's a pre-established relationship, but i'll write a part later explaining how they got together (the bonus tracks). i just find it easier to do it this way for myself. the point of this fic is mostly to have them torment carlos. sometimes i forget that i like carlos. this is like the fourth fic where i make him seem like a dick. i'm sure he's a nice person but for the sake of this fic he is not. there are time when i don't like (miami 2024) him, but my problem isn't with him, it's mostly with his fans. anyways, hope you enjoy this new fic. the first bonus part should be out like sometime tomorrow or in the next two days, i want to post it before the first part.

¡disclaimer!

this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[midnight-mourning]

*Taps mic* Heard y'all like Moon around here, you're in luck, this one's for you

massive, MASSIVE thank you to @lunarmoves for beta-reading this chapter!!

She put a lot of time and effort into making my BS readable for y'all and it's greatly appreciated <3 <3 <3

Shay also makes really good dca stuff (also sebastian solace but I know very little about the fish tbh) and you should check her out!

Also, happy 200k+!!! We're only 297k from truly becoming the 500k enemies to lovers slowburn of our dreams lmaoooo

But for real I apologize for such a delay with this one. If you'd like to hear my excuses/reasoning they're below the cut, or you can just go read the chapter whatever suits ya ^-^

Tag list (if you would like added please see this post for more info):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8

@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles

@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva

CW: medical stuff & additionally a bit of unreality mentions

Okay going to try and keep this simple bc I've said parts of it before

So as most of you know, I've been sick for 3 months now

I've now been on two rounds of steroids, and currently on my third round of antibiotics, which are basically keep me fucntional, not improving

besides general discomfort and pain, my memory has been pretty shot at times, I will go through the day and barely remember what I did/what I'm doing/what I need to do

as someone who had brain fog caused by covid a few years ago, this was genuinely a scary experience because ultimately, this has been worse

i've felt out of control of my body, having times where I'm mid thought and then instantly lose it

this is not my normal, I usually pride myself on my memory, so losing it has been incredibly devastating and scary

this was not helped by the fact that the quick care I went to (THREE TIMES for this) basically kind of sort of tried to gaslight me into believing nothing could be done and that it's not an infection

so not only has this entire thing has gotten dragged out so much more, which makes me sad tbh, but I've also felt like I've been going crazy bc it felt like no one was believing me when i said I was sick and not getting any better (including friends, family, coworkers etc, though unintentional on their parts to be fair)

I feel like I've lost three months of my life and coming to terms with that has been, yeah

on top of all that, I'm still in school AND doing grad stuff, and while the school side of things has been okay (thank god), grad's had it's moments, won't get into it but have had multiple issues with my advisor that have been at times just really tough to deal with

Confused spirit got pushed to the back burner, because i quite literally at times could not think, and when it comes to this fic, where there's multiple ongoing plot threads, characterizations, lore, and so on to keep track of, it was just, impossible to me to even consider writing for it

having shorter stuff like promptober, the oneshots and such was great to keep me writing, and also still interact with everyone in the community, plus i had a lot of fun with them so that helped too

this is all to say that I do sincerly apologize for the delay, and at the very least I should've clearly communicated about there being a hiatus, when this all started I thought i'd be down for two weeks max, then as that time kept increasing I just kept putting it off and putting it off because i thought i was going to get better, and then I didn't

I do this for fun and for nothing else, fic writing isn't content (it's engaging with fandom) and i have to remind myself of that sometimes but given that I've been around in some capacity on and off I feel I should've said something in some regard

Having said all that, I'm doing okay now! Still sick, but as long as I'm on meds I'm functional, stuff is getting managable with grad, and hopefully have some fun things coming up irl! Point is, the last three months haven't been the best, but they've been alright, due in part to all the support you all have given me, so thank you for that, can't say it enough :)

Okay, I think that just about covers it, thank you for taking the time to read all of this if you did <3

[funnier-as-a-system]

we just found out we're plural a few months ago. do you have resources on how to try to talk to my headmates? sorry if this isn't the right blog to mention.

Hm... As far as resources go, I'd recommend using a tool like Pluralkit or SimplyPlural and then chatting/leaving messages for each other under your own names (SimplyPlural has a chat function for this, and for Pluralkit, you can create your own private server). You don't have to create super detailed profiles – you can even just put placeholder names, or very non-descriptive names, and nothing else – but having something that shows who said what can help ground you and make it feel less like you're shouting into the void. The point is essentially to create a log where you all can identify yourselves while leaving messages for each other, even if it's something as simple as "hi, I exist". This is a method we've been using for a long time, and we've found it can really help to get your conversations (literally) out of your head and into text. If you would prefer a physical log over a digital one, keeping a physical journal (with a list of headmates somewhere inside) can also help.

For talking to your headmates inside your head (internal communication), though, I'd recommend somewhat of the opposite, to a degree – don't stress too much about figuring out who said what every time that you hear something from another headmate. It can scare off shy headmates who just want to poke their heads in with a quick "hello", and you don't need to be stressing over not being able to immediately identify exactly which of your headmates had that random, passing thought. Asking them for identification can help sometimes, especially if you're looking to practice putting names to voices, but you don't need to perfect your own detective skills to figure out Who Said That every time someone says something. Just relax and let things happen as they happen.

On that note, listening "too hard" for internal communication can cause you to accidentally block out the voices of your headmates. Remember, these sorts of things tend to take a lot of practice to become easily accessed skills, so don't worry if it takes you a while to start regularly hearing your headmates! Throw your thoughts into the void and welcome thoughts that don't sound like they came from you. Allow your communication to get better over time as you practice; don't expect perfection right away. And even if you never get very good at internal communication, that's okay, because there's plenty of different methods for external communication, from recording videos to leaving post-it notes on your door. Don't be afraid to experiment to find what works best for you!

I can't think of any resources outside those tools I suggested, but I'm sure they're out there. I'll leave this post open for anyone to add on their own suggestions and recommendations. Good luck talking to your headmates!

[whorejolras]

as promised: jess' les amis fanfic rec list ✨

this is mainly e/r, a little bit of e/r/c and a few courferre

This is just the stuff that was in my bookmarks on ao3 when I started writing this post (months ago lol sorry it took so long). Going through I was shocked to see so many of my faves weren't actually bookmarked so I will for sure do a part two when I find them again, and have also added heaps of new fics to my bookmarks since then, but for now 25 fics is enough 😂

many of these will be rated E and will have sexual content, some are straight up pwp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ok first is my ultimate fave that isn't even on ao3 anymore, but thankfully is on the authors tumblr, and that's:

Gnomon by luchia

50-80k words (?) (bc it's not on ao3 i'm estimating)

rating: E

Enjolras/Grantaire

terrorist/assassin Enjolras my beloved ever. My fave are the "charming young man capable of being terrible" fics obviously. This one is my #1 e/r like in my head this is it's own canon. & this series has my fave e/r smut scenes ever. I still daydream about a Gnomon tv show...

- trigger warnings bc it's not on ao3 so doesn't have tags: murder, gun and knife violence, bombs, conversations about the deaths of children. this is not healthy relationship fluff but it makes for a 🥵 dynamic that's for damn sure.

also linking the rest of the series which is up on ao3 still, even though it is officially abandoned and unfinished - i am going to break my ultimate rule right off the bat and link an unfinished series bc I like it so much.

stupid terrorist boys by luchia

series, 5 works

200k words

rating: M and E

here we have gnomon's prequels, two sequels, and some one shots in between 🫶🏻

if you're here for kinky pwp Senselessly Happy and Unsuspecting could be good stand-alone (but it's better when reading in order). I would say read Gnomon first on tumblr then read the rest in order on ao3.

Silence Is the Speech of Love by lady_ragnell

50k words

rating: E

Enjolras/Grantaire, background Courfeyrac/Marius/Cosette

Enjolras is cursed for speaking out against the gods, Grantaire is there for him.

will I ever shut up about this fic? Never. fave fave fave. the world building, the mythological/religious system, the writing, the "I love you" "I don't think you do, actually" scene URGH!!!! I think of this fic every time i hear chopsticks. Everything happening with courf/marius/cosette, and the genius inclusion of social worker Fantine my beloved. This is one of those "could be it's own novel" fics.

and the sequel from Enjolras' pov 😭 - Left Unsaid

World Ain't Ready by idiopathicsmile

185k words

rating: T

Enjolras/Grantaire

yes it's the top fic yes everyone probably knows it but it's good for a reason. THE fake dating high school au fic that I broke all my rules for back in 2015. I refused to read unfinished fics, let alone T rated high school fics, yet I remember waiting for the updates for this one as it came out, messaging mutuals on the day the last chapter was released. and every time I reread I remember why. Brilliantly written, the pining, the angst, the miscommunications. All the Joly and Bossuet scenes.

honourable mention to the scene where Joly is so excited for the battle of the bands, then next scene starts with "I think it's more of a sitting night today" the realest simple yet most gut punching illustration of chronic pain that gets my ass every time.

Lovesickness by idiopathicsmile

11k words

rating: T

Enjolras/Grantaire, Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta

(we're gonna see a fair bit of idiopathicsmile on here)

this is one of my absolute favourites. not only bc I quote "hit by a truck full of shirts" all the time. a Joly pov fic!!!!!! my beloved!!!!! I'm a BIG JBM fan (they are essential to me when I'm writing grantaire) and love fics that stay true to his friendship with Joly and Bossuet. also I love when Enjolras is a giant dumbass who thinks his feelings for Grantaire is a mystery illness 😂

Still the Same by The Librarina (tears_of_nienna)

74k words

rating: E

Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre

ok ok ok. listen. Yes. in this fic, Enjolras IS an fbi agent... and u know i'm the first and last to scream acab always...

that being said this is fully still one of my fave e/r/c fics. Enjolras and Combeferre are married & Enjolras needs to work with art thief Grantaire (fave) on a case. also that one bit at the end when Grantaire *redacted* 👀🫣

cupbearer by illuminate*

*this one is locked, you need an account to view

series, 4 works

124k words total

ratings: T, M & E

Enjolras/Grantaire

this series!!!!!! VAMPIRE ENJOLRAS!!!! thrall Grantaire!!!! canon era AND modern au! REINCARNATION!!!! i'm eeeeaaaaattiiiing 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

More Than Just a Game by ecaitlin

36k words

rating: E

Courfeyrac/Combeferre

Fake dating courferre 😭 this one is so good for the desert scene alone 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 one of my fave courferre fics

Good Intentions by ecaitlin

95k words

rating: E

Courfeyrac/Combeferre, background Marius/Cosette, Joly/Bossuet, Bahorel/Feuilly, and Enjolras/Grantaire ofc

THE les amis hogwarts au. 95k of Courfeyrac pov is always a treat for the system. in their last year at hogwarts, Courfeyrac decides to play matchmaker for all his friends. shenanigans!!!! fuck jkr, but whenever I wanna reread harry potter again I read this fic 🫶🏻 fave courferre ever, and also fave background e/r

if you remembered me by nightswatch*

*this one is locked, you need an account to view

40k words

rating: M

Enjolras/Grantaire

one thing about me is I love an amnesia fic! Enjolras loses his memory and Grantaire helps him recover 👀 this one's for the hurt/comfort and miscommunication/not being upfront about shit fans. also there's some past Grantaire/Combeferre and i'm always a fan

Beautiful Music Together by lady_ragnell

31k words

rating: E

Courfeyrac/Marius/Cosette

a rare Courf/Marius/Cosette fic for your palette. established Marius/Cosette need a little help from their good friend Courf with their sex life 👀 while the three of them also work on a musical assignment together 😭 prequel to You Dance Dreams kinda 👀

You Dance Dreams by lady_ragnell

61k words

rating: E

Enjolras/Grantaire

(you can tell when i've found a writer who has a fair few fics and just gone nuts lol, lots of lady_ragnell too)

BALLET AU I LOVE YOU!!!!!! so set in the same universe as Beautiful Music Together, Combeferre ropes everyone into working on his opera, a Midsummer Night's Dream sequel. Grantaire dances as Puck alongside Enjolras singing as Oberon 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

In Defiance of all Geometry by idopathicsmile

51k words

rating: T

Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre

this is a top fave E/R/C fic and a top fave les amis fic of all time! Them living in a co-op and all the little details of how they make it work is sooooo real and anyone who wants to see accurately written community organising in les amis fic it's here! now for the ✨romance✨ - Grantaire moves in to the amis co-op and starts crushing on both Enjolras and Combeferre, who have both been pining for each other for years.

Years Since It's Been Clear by lady_ragnell

10k words

rating: E

Enjolras/Grantaire

Enjolras offers his spare room to grantaire - or the one where enjolras chases the sun across the living room floor like a cat. That image has lived rent free in my head for and I am not exaggerating here, 10 years.

Gonna need (a spark to ignite) by FinditAgain*

*this one is locked, you need an account to view

47k words

rating: M

Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre

soulmate au! soulmate au with E/R/C!!!!!!! enjolras and combeferre are soulmates who lost their bond as children. when combeferre and enjolras find each other as adults, enjolras is already in an established relationship with grantaire 👀👀👀

secret agent man by goshemily

30k words

rating: E

Enjolras/Grantaire

yes another cop one haha 😭 bc if ur not able to contradict urself with the media u like are u even a person? but also I wouldn't recommend if it wasn't a good read for the stairs scene alone 😅 Enjolras and Grantaire need to go undercover as a married couple in a small town.

Leaves in the Void by myrmidryad

16k words

rating: M

Enjolras/Grantaire

this is one i've found since rejoining tumblr late last year that 😭 fully broke my heart bro 😭 space au, enjolras writes letters to everyone when he's accidentally isolated on a ship for what to him was eight and half months but was two hours for everyone else.

Blame Delicate Artemis by hyenateeth

22k words

rating: E

femslash Enjolras/Grantaire

posting omegaverse on main? more likely than you think!

this is porn with a tiny bit of plot, but also one of my fave for femslash e/r and also..... girl dick. that's all.

omega enjolras alpha grantaire canon era lesbians.

that's enough description to find its right audience I feel

Eyes to Serve, Hands to Learn by myrmidryad

94k words

rating: E

Enjolras/Grantaire

Grantaire runs into Enjolras at a kink club. enter 94,000 words of bdsm porn and pining. mostly dom Enjolras and submissive Grantaire, mostly.

Never Be Satisfied by torakowalski

15k words

rating: E

femslash Enjolras/Grantaire

dental dam mention! win!

Grantaire gives Enjolras some advice, lends some toys, and then offers some hands on help when she learns Enjolras has never come before 😏

potentially lovely, perpetually human by myrmidryad

20k words

not rated, does contain smut

Enjolras/Grantaire

lots of myrmidryad here too lol

two of my favourite tropes here. 1: supernatural Enjolras who's in control of his abilities except when it comes to Grantaire (see cupbearer series) and 2: nonbinary Grantaire my beloved!!! Enjolras has psychic empathy triggered by physical touch, so he refuses to touch anyone: until his touch starved ass accidentally touches Grantaire and feels what they're feeling 🥹

Witchboy by tothewillofthepeople

series, 8 works

84k words

rating: T, M

Enjolras/Grantaire

this one is a more recent recommendation that I loved, the world building and magic is so good, there's some great background eposette and patron minette which I'm always a fan of.

i'm not the moon (i'm not even a star) by serinesaccade

40k words

rating: M

Enjolras/Grantaire

amnesia fic and fake dating 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 this time we've got Grantaire losing his memories and waking up in a world where he has a really hot boyfriend, but apparently his 1.5 year relationship with Enjolras isn't what it seems 👀

and let's round this out with a classic

Thirty-Two Times by Ark

7k words

rating: E

Enjolras/Grantaire

the bottom R canon era bible 🙏🏻

i'm sorry i feel like my emoji use is very millennial. jsyk 👌🏻 is me clicking with my nails ok bye 😘

if you want more i'm whorejolras on ao3 go nuts 🙌🏻

[millylotus]

I got the full We Are Robin series for chirstmas! So here are some random silly things I noticed

Though I don't have any of the Robin War crossover or tie-in issues, which is a bummer but still.

Duke is like a self certified adrenaline junkie & says as much within like the first few pages

So yeah I get it. Mortality. It's about survival. Spent so much time surviving lately I feel like I've gotten addicted to it. To the Rush. I mean, I know why. It's all endorphins and adrenaline. I shouldn't trust it I shouldn't love it this much in all it's chemical falseness. But I'm a junkie now. worse stuff to be hooked on I guess. Issue #1, Page 4

Riko like definitely had a crush on Duke at some point and the angst is only further fueling my mind

Not crazy about the alternative cover to Issue #9B[right], it's cute but it feels like it belongs to another plot idea, #9A[left] looks more inline and it's just genuinely one of the coolest covers for this series

I really liked how it felt like all the Robin kids where pretty equal in page time & relevance to the story, I would have like some more of Riko in the later Issues but she did get a whole one to herself with a completely different artist

Focusing on that, Issue #4 is fucking gorgeous, like Jorge Corona's style is so much fun and comicy but the combined work of James Harvey, Diana Egea & Alex Jaffe brings to life a completely different type of very comic/graph novel style. Along with the fact the busyness of it reflects off of Riko's own personality & mentality. The two page spreads, the lack of barely any panel lines b/c each panel just looks that different from each other, the colors & pattern overlays, it's gorgeous and I could go off on a separate post about it another time. It's a shame I don't have all the covers with their style!

Though having Babs specifically be Riko's batgirl doesn't make much sense in a real world timeline but this is comic time soooo, i still would have like Steph to be her batgirl!

Duke has watched the Hobbit, and he thinks of himself as himself as more of the sword guy but he also like Legolas b/c he thinks he's cool & honestly that says alot about Duke's personality

Always thought of myself as more swarthy sword-weilding badass with the five-o'clock shadow. Or at least that elf dude. Yeah... that elf dude had style. Issue #1 Page 3

I've already read these volumes a couple months ago, so coming back to them was refreshing and I'm glad to have them physically, makes them alot easier to read and understand when I have 'em there physically

Also made me learn more about Troy, I thought he was a bit full of himself at first but he was genuinely just a good kid trying to do good, and his failure to do so resulted in his death and it's one of two things that breaks down our group of Robins [the other being Gordon's robo-batman denouncing the We Are Robin movement as a whole]

Troy Walker...Above average student with interests in political activism, history, and philosophy. Issue #4 Back Page 2

I'm pretty sure Duke is the youngest of our group of Robins, like the character summaries at the back of Issue #4, Duke-16, Riko-16, Dax-17, Izzy-17, Troy-17, Dre-17, which I think is one of best realizations I had about this story

No Duke isn't really the leader of WaR I'd say but the end of the series he's more just a working member of the most active group of Robins

By #12 they're very much a "We" "Us" "All" sort of group and saying they have a distinct leader would do them a disservice, though if I remember correctly there was some sort of hierarchy mentioned in the Robin War crossover issues, but we're gonna work around those for a second, at least until I get me hands on them/reread them again

I'd say the leaders are who ever is most determined to be a Robin within the moment, which Duke isn't at the beginning but is later on [round #6 #11 & #12] and even then he's often sharing that drive to be Robin with another Robin [usually Riko honestly]

And I'd say the Robin with the biggest & consistent want are Riko, Shug & Dax, in that order but mainly cause Dax had an era of doubt after Troy died & Robo-Batman denounced them

Riko hallucinates Batgirl and I need that to be talked about, like the hallucination isn't all that strong, purely visual, but it's high-def and it moves like a person and reacts to what she says to it [in the middle of class while a teacher is trying to get her attention mind you] I think the spread where it happens is the 2nd one I put up top

Izzy is actually a very emotional person, and I think she's the first character to cry in the series, [they are literally disarming a highly dangerous explosive and I think that's so valid for her] and honestly non of her emotions are like unwarrented, she's constantly on her last fucking leg, between late nights at her family resturant, combined with homework till 3 and chronically late to school to the point it might get her held back or expelled she's pretty tired with it all

I think my favorite moment for her was when her brother Hector [who she despises but also that's her brother so like] died to that weird Owl-Man Talon thing [which like I'm pretty sure died in Robin War], and when Talon-Man was about to kill Duke & Riko, like her black mascara/eyeshadow tears as she held that thing at gun point where devastating, not to mention it's goading her on & Duke & Riko are trying to get her to drop the gun aswell

Talon: Yes! this one understands the true nature[kill or be killed] of things! Izzy:...Gonna...gonna bury this creep. Tryin' to sell us the future Duke: C'mon, drop the gun! Talon: Pull the trigger, my beautiful killer. Take your first step towards a new world. Izzy: I'll so it...come any closer an I'll-- Issue #6 Page 7

This Issue also cements our Robins and their relationship to batman some more

Riko, Duke & Dax are the leaders in this Issue, more so the 1st two cause Dax doesn't have much page time, but still the sentiment of them not being wannabes/worshipers Batman's like everyone thinks and instead their own group is important here

Talon: Your code...the Bat's code...it is folly...He won't help you. Issue #6 page 5 Riko: Robins don't kill Izzy. You know this. Remember who we are. Talon: Young fool! Your false idol will be your undoing. Riko: Not trying to be like Batman. Trying to be better. Issue #6 page 10

I like Dre he's actually a really interesting guy, and you have to look past all the walls he pulls up [which are interesting in'n'off themselves] and see a kid who wants to be a vigilante, he's one of the leaders for Issues #9 & #10, being his own vigilante & operative after the Robin Laws are passed, he doesn't back down one bit & stays steadfast in his want to help people, going against Smiley in his Joker era as the first Robin to do so

He's just honestly cool, and I like the way he starts as a pessimist to the idea of Nest, but that doesn't fully stop him from wanting to help people, he gets back into it the moment he pulls himself together

I don't think I've brought up Dax properly yet but he's definitely one of the connectors of the group, [the others being Shug & Riko], once he gets out of his early bought of pessimism after Robo-Bat disavows them he is a consistent leader within the group and pushes the others to fucking do something, but his connecting work is mainly done for Izzy & Dre, Izzy when she's in her slump later on, & when Dre when he's running solo without the others, he pulls the wayward birds closer to the rest of the flock

Having read this series & reminiscing on "Batman & The Signal" & "The Outsiders" I don't like the way they portray Duke much at all

Lee Bermejo gets Duke in a way I don't think the other writes really do, this Duke, WaR!Duke, would not have become The Signal, he would have been Lark, and I mourn the lose of what he could of been had he not been pushed into become The Signal, it would have been interesting to see Damian & Tim share Robin with a kid they had to actually deal with, it might have actually forced Tim to move on completely from Robin, it might have gotten Damian more friends, it would have given Duke a more interesting story in my opinion

Okay I'm tired now, so i'm just put my fav covers of the ones I have from this series in left to right descending order of favorite-to-least favorite.

Goodnight! & Happy Holidays everyone!!!!

[chainsawmanicure]

Getting Pizza With the Scarecrow

hey guys. this is a fanfic i had started writing a few months ago about TNBA jon. idk why but i really feel like posting on tumblr dot com and getting some sweet notes. so hear it is.

Trigger warning: talk of food, mention of eating a lot of food (mentioned pizza eating competition), just food stuff mainly, mention of stalking

summary: u go to get pizza, but ur situationship decided to tag along

It was afternoon in Augusta, Georgia, and you were so hungry you could hardly press the gas pedal. Pangs of hunger shot through your quivering frame like bullets through a gun range. As you zoomed down the street, you noticed a sign up ahead: Mellow Mushroom. "oh Thank god," you thought to yourself, "something other than mcdongles...." for your stomach yearned for nourishment, though not from the likes of such an establishment as McDongles. Ough

     Pulling into the parking lot, you felt a strange coldness envelop you. You turned around to see if there was anyone else in the car. Sure enough, in the back seat sat Jonathan Crane... The Scarecrow. your old friend from college. He was tall, so tall you wondered how he'd managed to hide himself in your brand new 2024 Nissan Leaf (I googled compact cars). However he'd managed to, for some reason now he decided to show himself. His face was mangled beyond recognition. You couldn't tell exactly if it was his face or a mask, but his mouth opened and closed along with his words and his big white teeth shone clearly in a permanent  grimace. He was wearing the same wide brim hat, tattered jacket, noose, and tight pants as he usually did, and next to him his big stick laid across the seat.

"Jonathan." you greeted, not too surprised at his appearance. You'd suspected he'd been following you for some time now. At home, you'd noticed patterns of unfamiliar wet bootprints on the floor, and missing items from your trinket box, refrigerator, and massive pile of dirty clothes which had built up in the middle of the bedroom.

     In college, he had displayed an interest in you, often getting a little too close to you and staring at you from across the lecture hall. He'd always had weird ways of showing his interest in you, and expressions of friendship. Well, you weren't really friends. Not anymore, at least...

     Too tired and hungry to properly address him or ask him how he got in your car, you stepped out and started towards the restaurant. You soon heard the car door slam and felt Jonathan's presence behind you once more.

"Hungry?" he asked, stepping beside you as you pushed open the door of the establishment.

"Believe it or not, yes. I think someone's been taking all my soup and bread, and I've had nothing to eat at home." you shot him a mildly accusatory glance after saying this.

Jonathan didn't respond immediately. He knew you were aware of his visits to your apartment. He'd intended it to be that way... a reminder he still cared. A reminder he still remembered.

Jonathan: "Maybe someone wants to know where you buy such lovely soup and bread."

You sighed. "Costco. Now are you seriously going into this joint with me? I'm gonna be arrested for being in kahoots with the Scarecrow."

Jonathan: "Calm yourself. We're in Augusta, Georgia. To these people, I'm just an ordinary freak."

     The person at the table like when you walk in and theyre like ok follow me you know? They smiled politely through fearful eyes up at you and your companion before quickly scuffling away, leading you to an empty table.

The joint was fairly empty, save for three individual men and a young couple sharing a peach iced tea. Jonathan pointed at the couple.

"Perhaps they should've gone to Steak and Shake. They have milkshakes there, better for romantic sharing."

"Shut up, Jonathan. Shut up right now," you replied.

     The host scampered away after leading you to your table, and you were left waiting for the waiter with a set of menus before the two of you.

You sat on one side of the booth, and Jonathan sat across the table from you. You were surprised he hadn't sat next to you and squeezed you against the little wall thing dividing this booth from the one on the other side. That seemed like something he would do, but not today apparently. In fact, other than infiltrating your brand new Nissan Leaf, he had been acting rather civil. Civil, of course, as opposed to the clingy curious and weary endangered animal behavior he had exhibited so many years past.

     You watched as he surveyed the menu, holding it delicately in his big long grey hands. You didn't remember those hands being so grey and so... scary. Even harmlessly holding a pizza menu, they seemed as though they meant to instead hold your throat, to squeeze and squeeze until the lights went out. And by lights going out, I mean like, you die.

     He'd positioned his big stick at the back corner of the booth, and it had fallen so it poked against your shoe under the table. He set the menu down after a moment and spoke in that unearthly rasp of his, "I think I'll get a slice of the Kosmic Karma, and a peach iced tea, like the one those two lovebirds are sharing," he pointed once more to the young couple, who had now finished their first tea and gotten a refill.

"Well, I just want cheese," you said. "I think I'll get a whole pie. I'll take the rest home."

Jonathan chuckled, though with his raspy hush it sounded more like a weak cough.

"Take the rest home..." he repeated humorously, "what makes you think you won't devour the whole thing now?"

     And with that old familiar clingy freak swagger he possessed, he leaned forward and held your chin gently with his big long fingers.

"I think we both know how much of an animal you can be," he teased, though his expression contained zero percent of the flirtation his voice tried to sell. (if that makes like literally any sense at all)

     You swatted his hand away. "That was a long time ago." You hadn't eaten a whole pizza in one sitting since the pizza eating contest of sophomore year... None of your friends were able to attend it, but Jon was there. Oh, yes he was... watching intently with his curious and vaguely frightened eyes as you wolfed down eight slices of sausage pizza in under 7 minutes. He had seen a side of you no one else had really witnessed... seen your wrath, your gluttony, your pride, your... lust.

In the nowtimes, he sat before you, hands flat on the table, beady white pupils boring down into your own normal black ones. His demeanor was cold. He knew you were pushing him away, trying to forget what you two had shared all those fateful years ago. You didn't want to remember, but with him sitting before you, wearing his new sexy skin, you had no choice.

     The waiter arrived and shot the scarecrow a sideways glance before clearing her throat. "Hello, thank you for joining us today. May I ask what you two would like to drink?"

You looked at Jon, but he gestured for you to speak first. "I'll have Dr. Pepper, please." The waiter nodded and turned to Jonathan.

"I'll have the peach iced tea," he didn't shift his gaze from yours for a second, "with two straws."

[safe-from-sharp-teeth]

Ayo! I haven't answered asks in FOREVER, so it's time for some spring cleaning :) Also answering other stuff, like what I've been up to.

If you sent an ask and it's not here, sorry! I may have deleted it because the prompt required too much work of me and I wasn't feeling it, or I was uncomfortable.

Let's gooooo !

Firstly - where have I been? Work REALLY picked up in a way I wasn't expecting over the last...4 months? I was working double and often triple the hours I was used to. With work, vacations, random illnesses, and many video games I got a bit too obsessed with, this blog took a backseat. Plus, sometimes I get disinterested in vore when obsessed with something else. Sometimes, that lasts months, and it did this time.

But now I can confirm that work will FINALLY chill for a long period of time. I'm free! And more motivated than ever! Wahoo! Thanks for your support ALWAYS.

Next big question - when am I going to do more of my story? The one with Asyr? AHHHHHGHHGHH this story has consumed my life. I think about it daily. I dream about it. And yet I'm not as comfortable writing as I am drawing, so writing is a slow process that my perfectionist ass struggles with. I can assure you that there is a story in the works - and I am working on it at a snail's pace.

Okay, ask time...

@ponyluvesonic09 AYO maybe I'll make a full ghost pred pros/con list for you, because that sounds awesome! Kir//by is one of the silliest canon preds out there. Honestly getting eaten by him would be like getting vored by a vacuum, LOL. Galaxy tummy!! Imagine a prey floating around in one of those item bubbles all grumpy. Thank u for the ask, this is good stuff.

no. ( /・・)ノ

UWAGHHHHH I LIKE HER!!! Never played O/verwat/ch but what a gem!! I have a random fondness for centaur-like preds nowadays. She looks so cozy. THANK U I LOVE HER!!!

@tiger9o0 I have not played r//ain w//orld or know what it's about, LOL. Looks like a platformer? Man, I'm terrrriiiiibblleee at those. But whoever this is on the cover, I LIKE EM. A+. (That might not answer ur question shdjbghkjg SORRY)

@heimkoheimkofan LOVE THAT I GOT THE ROBOT ENJOYERS AFTER THAT ONE POST....YES yall are so right and I'm so wrong for just hard metal robot tums. I will rectify my mistake soon I PROMISE. Also oh! You were the one asking about stomachs other than elemental ones! IVE HAD THAT IN MY DRAFTS FOREVER IM SORRY AHHHH. I REALLY love your imagination with tums and you've inspired me to think of some awesome environments! THANKS

@fastfur07 BWAH?? Ugh I'm all over the place when it comes to art. Some pieces take 30 min (like the zangooc I drew at the top of this post), most take 2 days. Some really hard drawings like my wolf bat creechur from a few months ago and my shrimp from last year took a month. THANK U??

We're going back so far that I think this is about my naga oc (which I'm in the midst of redesigning cough cough). For him, he would never tolerate being prey, extremely unwilling bahaha. In general, I haven't thought much about naga or snake prey! I get the appeal of slurping up a noodle, but I just prefer human prey :)

@fastfur07 you fiend, you always give me the best drawing ideas. UNFORTUNATELY, I didn't have time to draw something for this one. BUTTTT....

(i've had this next one in my drafts for forever)

then i had a silly comic. I'll post the wip here because I won't finish it, so enjoy bahaha.

@blizzaria123-blog THANK U im rapidly melting into a puddle from ur words

@mrpotatomanversionsix relevant. i will continue drawing them 4 u

?!??!!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!? how dare u enter my ask box with this blasphemy

@sfwsillynoms WAH!!! you!!! I'm currently redesigning my naga oc but when I finish I'll tag you, if you're still around! And he can 100% be drawn with ur preysona :)

@mystorl i am SO late to this, but SMART. I like it. I shall give my lil guy this friend. I just want to let u know that I see this and it's wonderful and I will do something abt it.

I remember this ask made me laugh a ton when I first got it. thank u. idk why I find this so funny

@sillylilprey IM CRYING RIGHT BACK AHHHH this is an ancient ask, but thank u! hope you're still enjoying!

@terrytheinsane finally, the last ask in my askbox. I love it. You have been wronged with how long it took me to answer you. I have gained knowledge from your ask. THANKS

AND THAT'S IT!! Thanks guys, I hope to make you proud! Feel free to send more asks, and hopefully I will answer in a TIMELY manner.

Goodnight! And remember: Nice Vore ᕕ༼⌐■-■༽ᕗ

[dxmedstudent]

I haven't been on Tumblr in a while but wanted to check how you're doing! How is married life treating you and how is work- I remember last time you were applying for GP training! I'm just coming to the end of F1 :)

Me neither, Anon! Honestly? I have been meaning to come back to Tumblr a while ago, but life has been busy! I had tried to spend less time on socual media so i could focus on my membership exams, and that went too well.

Time flies, I can't believe it's been more than 10 years since I joined tumblr or graduated from med school.

I can't remember which updates I've already shared, so I'll make a list.

Married life is great - pretty similar to pre-married life. Because we started off in different cities due to my training and covid, it's honestly just a joy to live together and be able to hang out. I've been meaning to post a couple of anonymised wedding photos. It still feels amazing that we managed to get all the people we love together. We also managed to fly out to my birth country so that DxDude could meet my relatives...most of whom don't speak English. It was hilarious and lovely and he took being mobbed by an army of Eastern European Babushkas very well.

We adopted a cat! His owner died suddenly and my parents sort of got left with the cat. It was at a difficult time, as it was around the time my beloved cat passed away last year. I still miss her. But I couldn't let someone's baby, a lovely senior cat, live out his last days in a shelter. He's a little 14ish year old man called Sherlock. He loves being held and sitting on my shoulders and he drools when he gets excited. We've been trying to discourage his habit of nipping you when he wants something.

My houseplants and balcony plants may be slowly getting out of control, but I'm happy I have lots of them, and i would have more if we weren't running out of space. I'm currently waging a war against mealybugs. Send thoughts and prayers.

I did get into GP training! And it was local to where I wanted to be, which made it much easier to finally move in together. In fact, I JUST finished GP training a couple of weeks ago and am now living my GP dreams working in one of the practices that I trained in. It's very inner city London. Our patients have complex needs, and I'm honoured to ve in a team that have a lot of experience serving patients affected by substance abuse, homelessness and refugee populations and other complex issues.

We went on Honeymoon to Japan! It was amazing, and I'd still love to go again. I was bold enough to arrange my Honeymoon to be barely a month before a postgraduate exam, but I passed!

This past academic year has been filled with sitting exams and jumping through the hoops required for my eportfolio. On top of working full time as a GP. I didn't think I would do it all first time TBH, but my supervisor had more faith in me than I did. It's honestly been amazing to work for a few jobs in GP training where I felt seen and wanted and where my hard work was appreciated. I can't believe my supervisor offered me my current job, and wanted me to stay on, but they did!

I finished a diploma in sexual and reproductive health and trained in fitting contraceptive implants. I'd like to train up to fit IUDs also to try to improve local access to sexual health services.

I went on strike these past couple of years, when the junior doctors went on strike again. I'm still processing the pay offer and the new government. But I'm relieved we're no loner under the Tories.

We'd like to move house, but we've not gotten around to trying to do this seriously, because my life was already stressful enough. We do need more space, and I hope we'll find somewhere modestly nice that we can afford.

We're trying for kids, and it's sadly taking much longer than we hoped. Being a patient is...a slow and frustrating experience because it already feels like I've had to work harder than I should to advocate for appropriate care. I could say a LOT about the postcode lotteries that come with UK fertility care but I'll leave that for another post.

I've finally accepted that my hair is wavy, and I'm trying out different products to lean into the natural waves and bring them out without leaving it a frizzy Hermione-esque mess. It spent tge past years mostly in a plait or cadet bun, but I'm finally giving my hair a bit more freedom. I have NOT yet accepted that my hair is mostly white at this point. I alternate between wanting to go grey (because that would look cool) and wanting to stay brown because that's kind of how I've imagined myself for the past 35+ years.

I finally get to indulge in painting my nails. I've loved it since I was like 13 and seeing my nails sparkly and colorful brings out my inner 13 year old and she is thrilled. Every time I make my nails glow in the dark, I show them off to DxDude before bed.

My laptop died and then I inherited an old laptop from my parents which is also dying. Which is part of the reason I haven't created much art in recent years. I should probably just bite the bullet and buy a new one, but my exams and diplomas have been expensive so I've been putting it off. To be fair I also made the decision to use my limited free time to keep up with friends and family IRL and try not to feel bad about taking a break from creating. I felt like I was blaming myself for not managing to do everything I wanted to do. I've slowly accepted that none of us can do everything.

I think that's it for now. Looking forward to catching up with what medblr are up to 😃

[yurisorcerer]

I'm not gonna pretend I have anything super new or innovative to say about Mobile Suit Gundam. It's one of the most-analyzed anime ever, and I pale in comparison to some of the people who *have* analyzed it, but here I am, thinking about it regardless.

For context, I am watching this as part of a---as she called it---"comet swap" with my good friend @charaznablespeteevee, where I watch a mecha anime she is obsessed with (Gundam) and she watches one I am obsessed with (Code Geass). I'm not sure if I'm going to write a big long post like this about every episode (since I'm going to *try* to watch at least one per day, that would get quite exhausting), but I am liveblogging it more informally over on the worst website on Earth, if you're willing to put up with that Nazi-infested hellhole long enough to read some posts from yours truly.

In any case, Gundam and Code Geass. are many differences between these, the main ones being that Code Geass is more recent and also not widely hailed as a masterpiece of its form. It does *draw* notably from Gundam though despite having very different artistic aims and a different tone, so watching this makes sense in a way. I spent way too much of my teenagerhood obsessed with Lelouch, and now I'm watching the anime that his archetypal grandfather came from. (Goddess have mercy on my soul.)

My experience with Gundam as a franchise prior to this is very limited, but I do have some. For reference, I have seen all of:

Gundam 00, back when it aired on the SyFy channel when they had an anime block many years ago. I really liked this as a teenager but I don't remember it super well.

The Witch From Mercury, lesbian space combat, with a notable Code Geass staff connection. WFM was not perfect or anything but I loved it a lot and Suletta is very dear to me. I actually bought an Aerial gunpla a few months ago that is currently sitting unassembled in my closet.

the first Gundam 0079 compilation movie. Now, it might seem weird that I've seen this and am now going back to watch the TV series. But, while I remember the general outline of what happened, I was SUPER sick when I watched it, and I only remember what happened really, really vaguely. While I have some idea of the general outline of what's to come, I'm mostly going in genuinely blind.

like 4 or 5 episodes of Victory Gundam, which I liked but kind of fell off of. So we're giving the franchise a proper second go here.

I'm a mecha fan more generally, and I'll get into some of that as I write these, but for now that's the relevant stuff.

Anyway, my main impression of 0079's first episode is actually a structural one. It's REALLY well put together. We introduce the setting, we introduce our main characters, and we introduce the main conflict, all very economically and with a lot of style---more style than some shows with significantly less room to work with manage, in fact---and I'm immediately invested in the fate of our main character, Amuro Ray.

From what I gather here (and a little bit from outside information), my impression is that of a kid who loses his innocence very, very rapidly over the course of this story. Here, the space-hab-thing he lives on is attacked, and he ends up in the cockpit of an experimental superweapon called a Gundam (maybe you've heard of them?). I LOVE how the Gundam is framed here, like some kind of genuinely scary war machine. It's an intentionally othering effect i mostly associate with later mecha anime, especially those with outright monstrous mecha like Evangelion or even The Big O, so to see it here in such a comparatively early series in the genre is impressive.

The episode's climax sees him kill two soldiers from the enemy nation of Zeon, but it's not a triumphant thing, really. He's portrayed as kind of not really knowing what he's doing, flailing around inside this gigantic walking tank / mechanical war god. But then when he *does* figure things out, well, he has to deal with the fact that he just killed two dudes. Going by the cliffhangery ending here, it doesn't seem like his troubles are over, either.

[touchstoneaf]

continued from previous post:

... At one point i also thought, "You know, maybe the system's so screwed that burning it down and starting over again is the only way forward... so let it burn, right? Better with a bang than with a whimper". I knew, as i do now, that we're far past peak oil anyway, and that if we had wanted to switch from fossil fuels to anything remotely renewable, we would have had to create the jobs and build the infrastructure years ago. That part is still worryingly true... but i know now what i hadn't even thought of then. That if the system falls apart because i was cheering it along... that would be a death-sentence for millions. People i loved who needed even one pill per day to stay alive, or stay sane. People I loved who needed access to assistive devices, or insulin, or inhalers, to stay alive. People who need access to doctors, and who couldn't for instance join a farming commune, like i hoped to do. I was naive. I lived on rural property where i might've made a go at it, with the people around me. I'm glad to say it didn't even take becoming one of the myriad people who need a pill a day to survive or stay sane (though that did finally occur, because we are all just a health-step away from depending on the system to survive, and pretending otherwise is the province of the young and the ableist). It didn't take Cheeto Voldemort telling us he was turning LITERALLY EVERYTHING into a pre-existing condition. It just took realizing that... i didn't want to lose all these people i loved who actually needed the system. My mother, with her heart meds, my friends, my chosen family. That we couldn't all just prance off to create a commune, because most of us are autistic, or have ADHD, or mental health struggles, because i surround myself with beautiful (God Bless The) Freaks. So, now I know. And i'm passing this truth on to you, if you weren't there. If you are too young to remember. Something it took me till 38 to realize, somehow. That IF WE WANT A THIRD PARTY OPTION, WE HAVE TO CREATE IT IN *BETWEEN* PRESIDENTS, WITH A SITTING DEM... and NOT just a few months from the Presidential election. We can't just blithely wish a plausible third party option into being by voting it and crossing our fingers. And, more importantly, I can't survive another of his Presidencies. No one I love can. At least one person YOU love can't, and won't. THE WHOLE WORLD CANNOT SURVIVE IT. Don't make the mistake i did in 2016. THIS IS HAPPENING, the WAY it is happening, whether we like it or not. It's too late to change it this time around. So, VOTE; and vote KAMALA, not Kennedy or some other impossible longshot. Don't stay home, don't screw this up. Your life, my life, their lives in the wider world? LITERALLY depends on it. No second chances.

I promise you. Not being melodramatic. You don't want the remorse. And you don't want to die. And neither do I. Sooner or later this will touch us all. Vote while you still can. You literally may never get another chance.

[lostdrarryfics]

lostdrarryfics monthly roundup! May 2024

Below you will find the requests we could not locate in the month of May. Please let us know if you recognize any!

You can also browse our lengthy lost fic masterlist, where we have compiled every request we have been unable to find over the past few years. We're always hoping someone will recognize a fic so we can let the asker know what it was!

1. D ends up with H before the battle at hogwarts. I remember Narcissa being with them when they basically handed draco over. I think they stay at grimmauld place in the beginning but they get separated (I might be confusing it for another fic). The most important detail is that D and H end up in a cottage owned by narcissa and followed by Voldy’s henchmen but the deatheaters can’t see the cottage so D and H are safe. I might have gotten the timing wrong and it might have been set right after the battle of hogwarts (I’m still not sure on this sorry) There’s also no graphic sex from what i remember. Fic is not Warding Bonds by AdareThompson

2. Harry is a celebrity chef, and Draco tweets at him for dinner, and Harry said he'd save him a table. Draco shows up and they cook together as a sort of date. The one key thing I remember is that Harry had a past relationship with Justin Finch-Fletchley but Justin dumped him.

3. it was about Draco being an unspeakable and what comes to my mind is this specific scene about Draco with one of his teammates joking about his nickname (all of them has a star's name as code name), talking about the pole star, I think Draco was "Polaris" and she said he was "Vega", like the ancient polar star, I can't remember much more. Draco was happy that he isn't recognized as a death eater between his co-workers and they really appreciated him. Harry was an auror? And they had to work together? I'm not really sure

4. Harry is Draco’s secretary and Draco makes him wear a skirt to work and it’s one chapter and smutty. Top Draco.

5. post-war drrary fic where Harry and Draco lived in the Malfoy Manor and they were in an established relationship. Then Draco's behaviour started to change, he became mean, and Harry gave him an ultimatum, promising he won't put a foot in the Manor again if he leaves. Then Harry leaves and I think Draco was about to get married. But then Narcissa comes to Harry and explains that Lucius has put a curse on Draco to break their relationship. I specifically remember that she told Harry that Draco was musing how to apologise to him. Harry then came back to the Manor. I think it was on ao3 but I'm not sure

6. I am looking for a Hogwarts era fic. It's after the war. Harry is fed up with being treated like a hero so he enters into a friends with benefits arrangement with Draco. They are sneaking away to hook up and have a lot of hate sex and bond over their taste in music. I specifically remember them having sex to Kashmir by Led Zeppelin and Deftones. Towards the end they start to realize they have feelings for each other.

7. Hogwarts Eighth year, lupin(alive) is the dada teacher again, drarry are sort of in a relationship or at least there's something going on. The one scene I remember distinctly is they're chosen for a demonstration duel during dada and they take the bow and stance but then draco concedes in front of the whole class, which is kind of a big deal in magical duels-as hermione tells harry, and then lupin wants to talk to draco after class(?)

8. drarry multi-chapter fic i read on ao3 a bit ago. it was set around christmas/holidays, established relationship, harry has mental health problems and is distant so draco thinks he's cheating on him but he reveals that hes been going to a mind healer like secretly. also i think teddy is in it and they go ice skating with him? the fic is about like draco helping harry get his life back together and fixing their relationship.

9. it takes place in hogwarts and there’s a secret lgbtq club in the school. I think there were some side pairings too besides drarry.

10. I read this ages ago, dont remember what site but it was complete and mature content. title was like Griffendor <something>, Slythering <something> (i think) after school, harry is a pro quidditch player and draco is a magazine editor or something? One of them decides to write a book (draco?) and goes to the other for help with source material(?). We find out that they are divorced and have been court ordered to stay away from each other because of destructive fights. There was also some flashbacks where they like fed each other strawberries and one of them (harry?) told the other that the cost of the strawberry was marriage? And there was something about a pair of lockets they had from when they were married that they still wear but are hiding from each other?

11. i think it was a war au, draco was at grimmauld because reasons and he was helping the order with the potions, at one point he helps snape or remus because they were hurt? And he and harry had this thing or something, but he caught harry kissing one of the twins and he thought that harry wasn't interested, but he was just like practicing the kisses or something?

12. Looking for a fic I read some years ago in german, but I am pretty sure it was translated from english. It is about Draco helping Harry and his friends escape from Malfoy Manor in the seventh book and being captured by the Death Eaters. He gets thrown into a cell without any sensory stimulation, but gets rescued after the war. The fic deals with the consequences of that, I am not quite sure if he is at St. Mungos for some time, but he definitely gets close to Harry in his healing process. Sorry if this is too vague or if it turns out that the fic was originally in german.

[futzingbarton]

kind of a nika update since i don't really post much personal stuff on here, but i think?? most of the ppl i wouldn't want seeing any personal updates are blocked and would have to go out of their way to see this so. whatever.

anyway hi. i am crawling along. the tl;dr is that after the past, uh...what now makes 7 years of being constantly in survival mode, moving from place to place, living day to day and just desperately trying to survive, as of, idk, september? my life has finally kind of somewhat slowed down. i got out of a very horrible living situation, and have been working every day on remembering how to Live and Breathe. turns out trauma is a lot!

on top of that, i am finally in a space to address my health. besides mental health (diagnosed with things that make sense, the adhd and the autism) i'm also figuring out my physical health. i finally got my PCOS diagnosis after a couple years, and am in the process of figuring out what kind of EDS/connective tissue disorder i've got. my life at the moment consists largely of working, followed by doctors appointments, followed by sleeping.

i'm more exhausted than i ever could have imagined. i'm burnt out in a way i never expected. it's like i was a bird on an eight year migration and now that i've finally stopped having to flap my wings, i can't move at all. it's a lot to work around. i feel terrible that so many things have slipped away from me, whether it be responding to people or finishing up overdue commissions (i swear on everything in me that i haven't forgotten, @thebreakfastfish. i have the files on my ipad. i look at them every day! and yet, i pick up the pen, and my brain starts turning into static, and. yeah. i am working up the capacity to send you an email with a bigger update and some actual progress because you saved my ass last december and somehow it's been a year and aaaaaaaaaaaaa.)

work is good. work is great, actually. i love my job. it's a Lot, but i love my job. working in non-profit is a lot, and i am Important in that i manage a lot of projects for clinic services. i work to help the vulnerable population where i live, so it's fulfilling, but it's also exhausting. turns out Thinking for eight hours a day makes your brain mush. this year has also been a series of unfortunate events for my job. four of our physical locations flooded in january, our main clinic was destroyed by it, we've spent months building back up and figuring out how we're going to rebuild, etc etc. tons of long term things in the works to fix things that happened overnight 11 months ago.

so things are Good but things are also Endless. i'm trying to not lose myself in the thought that this is how it's going to be forever. i want to create again, to dream and think and breathe again. there are moments among the fog where i do live and breathe and enjoy--i have a partner now, who was a friend of a few years first, and he brings me so much joy, and helps me love myself in ways i didn't think i was capable of. but by and large every day is a struggle where i am relearning how to live. how to feed myself and care for myself and exist in a way where i am not crushing myself to survive.

i hope i can get to a place where i can do the things i want to do again. i want to run tabletops again--but the thought of organizing something weekly, for multiple people, and creating and responding to things on the fly, makes me physically hurt. i want to draw and paint again--but i pick up anything and stare at the paper or ipad for hours and then sigh and turn things off. i think of words in the shower and run to write--but then i open the document and everything is gone. i feel like i'm in limbo, in some kind of purgatory, trying to crawl my way out. but at least i'm not in the inferno anymore.

[signoraviolettavalery]

hi! i saw your post about how unwelcoming this fandom is and being from the same country as you (hi again <3) i have to agree but honestly i just wanna give you a virtual hug and say that i don't know you and i don't really use tumblr but i love to check your blog sometimes and you seem like a really nice person and it's just sad you have to feel this way anywayssss just wanted to say that you are not alone 💓

hello friend! It's nice to meet a fellow Belarusian, and thank you so much for your kind words. <3 There are bad days and better days, and today was one of the worse days, and I just wanted to open up a little bit about it. Frankly, I'm done shutting up about it.

I still vividly remember venturing on Twitter a few weeks ago and seeing people in this fandom - yes, the Joker Out fandom - claiming that my native language should be eradicated, because it's the language of a country committing war crimes and invading another country.

The only language I share with some of my family members. Some of whom I will probably never get to see again before they die, because I can't go back to the place I come from. Because of the political situation, because of how wrapped up it is in Russia's war, because of so many reasons. It's not safe for me to return. I lost one of those family members a few months ago, and I wonder if I'll ever be able to see his grave.

Russian speakers DNI. That's what some of those "fandom" twitters say. Because we're all evil. The language we speak is what makes us complicit.

Today, I talked to one of my cousins, who fled Russia when the war started, because living there was becoming increasingly untenable, with one suitcase of everything he owned and all the money he had in cash. He's in the U.S. now, and will probably never be able to go back home. He left behind everything he's ever known to live in a foreign country where he knows almost no one.

There's people in this fandom screaming that every Russian is complicit. They are responsible for the actions of the government that is oppressing them.

I think about how Putin's biggest political opponent was murdered in prison a few weeks ago for opposing him, for trying to change things.

He was Russian. Was he complicit too? Is he covered by your blanket assertion that all Russians are evil and suspect?

Did you even notice? Did you care? Or did you read the headline and think "another Russian dead, good riddance"?

And yes, I'm Belarusian. Many of my family members are Russian, because when the Soviet Union fell, you got the citizenship of the place you happened to be living in. For some of us that was Belarus, for some of us that was Russia. We all speak the same language. All of us think the war is nothing short of horrifying.

Some people in this "fandom" say that Belarusians are okay, but "it's "the Russians" are evil. What's the difference, I wonder?

But most of all, I wonder: why are you making assumptions about a whole group of people on the basis of their country of birth or their language? Why do you think that's how you fight injustice or make a better world? Why do you judge people on the basis of their identity, rather than their choices, their actions, the positions they actually hold?

[girltalkcollectives]

Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back

This entry is from an old relationship

Have you ever felt like you're the only one trying in a relationship? Like you're pouring your entire heart into something while they're just... there?

I'm sitting in my car right now, typing this on my phone because I can't be in my apartment. Because he's there, probably not even noticing that I left an hour ago. Probably hasn't even looked up from his game to realize I'm gone. And the worst part? I already know when I go back, I'll act like everything's fine.

It's such a specific type of heartbreak - loving someone who doesn't love you back but stays anyway. Because that's the thing: he stays. He's still here. Still says "goodnight." Still goes through the motions. But that's all they are - motions.

I keep a list in my notes app of all the signs I try to ignore:

How he takes hours to reply to my texts but I can see him active online.

The fact that he hasn't said "I love you" in months, just replies "you too" when I say it.

How he only wants to see me when it's convenient for him.

The way he talks about his future without mentioning me in it.

You know what the worst part is? I'm not even angry at him. I'm angry at myself. For staying. For making excuses. For thinking maybe if I love him hard enough, he'll start loving me back. For becoming the kind of person who checks their boyfriend's likes on Instagram at 3am, looking for signs of what I already know.

Tonight he asked what I wanted for dinner like everything was normal. Like I hadn't spent the whole day crying in my car because he forgot my birthday. Like he hadn't introduced me as his "friend" at last week's party. Like I haven't been dying inside every time he pulls away when I try to hold his hand in public.

My best friend keeps asking why I stay. I wish I had a better answer than "because I love him." But that's the whole stupid truth. I love him. I love him so much it physically hurts. I love him even though I know - I KNOW - he doesn't love me back.

Do you know how pathetic it feels to plan your whole day around someone who probably doesn't think about you at all? To get excited when they text you first, only to realize they just need something? To lie awake at night wondering what she has that you don't? (Because there's always a "she" - the one they like on every post, the one they talk about a little too much, the one they light up around in a way they never do with you.)

The dumbest part is that I keep waiting for some big dramatic moment. Like maybe one day it'll get so bad that leaving will feel like the only option. But it's not big dramatic moments. It's small things. It's a thousand paper cuts of indifference.

It's the way he doesn't ask about my day.

It's the half-hearted hugs.

It's the "maybe next time" when I suggest doing something together.

It's the way he can go weeks without seeing me and it doesn't bother him at all.

It's how he never puts his phone down when we're together.

It's the fact that I can't remember the last time he was excited to see me.

My mom always said you should be with someone who loves you as much as you love them. I used to think that was just something people say. Now I understand. Now I know exactly what she meant. Because this? This isn't it.

But here's the really messed up part - I'm still hoping things will change. Still analyzing every tiny gesture for signs that maybe he's starting to feel something real. Still trying to be the perfect girlfriend, like if I just try hard enough, he'll suddenly realize he loves me too.

I know how this ends. I've read this story before. I'm not stupid. I know he's never going to wake up one day and suddenly love me the way I love him. I know I deserve better than someone who makes me feel like an option.

But knowing you deserve better and actually leaving are two very different things.

So here I am, sitting in my car, writing this post. And in a few minutes, I'll go back upstairs. He won't ask where I've been. I won't tell him I've been crying. We'll go to sleep on opposite sides of the bed, and tomorrow we'll wake up and do it all again.

Because sometimes the hardest part isn't loving someone who doesn't love you back.

It's knowing they don't love you back and staying anyway.