#where they kind of hit or almost hit

[youngpettyqueen]

Repentance is an episode that kind of hits what I think it was trying to say but then also. completely and utterly fails in other areas. which is characteristic of a lot of these types of Trek episodes tbh

[verflares]

its probably fine to just post this now since i'm not sure when/even if i'm ever gonna get around to finish it LOL but here's a dragon link wip whose been sitting in my files for a while now

[coern-art-very-cool-and-nice]

sekai au 👊😔

[fairyroses]

requested by @lexkent: the scene in "Shattered" where Lana sees Lex on the ground in the stable sitting curled into himself, and she looks anguished to see him in such a state, and she's so kind and compassionate to him

+ bonus Lana, after literally almost dying:

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

ok this is a deeply deeply weird manifesto and i'm sorry but i feel suddenly very burdened to say it so. if you felt like we were friends and i unfollowed you, this is for you. (don't be scared this is not about problems with anyone this is just my mess. that I think is ok to have which is why I'm talking about it)

so I joined tumblr in 2020 when a) the world was isolated b) I had just moved to a new city and was living alone taking Zoom classes in my apartment. what started as a mindless distraction became such a lifeline of connection and friendship! and still such a support as things started to open back up and get busier in 2021, when I was teaching and in class in person but still struggling for close in-person friendships. I know the group dynamic on here has shifted a number of times, as some of you probably experienced from various vantage points. my use of tumblr has shifted too, on and off, as I've needed different things out of it and been in different spiritual and emotional states. and I've kind of come to realize that I probably threw myself in too eagerly in some ways. it was so exciting to have actual friends on here and for them to actually turn into friends in person, that honestly I maybe prized that dynamic too much for what it symbolized over actually valuing the people. I'm sorry for doing that.

anyway, that worked fine for a bit, but as (glory be to God) I've become much more plugged into my in-person community in the last couple years, I've felt more and more emotionally strained. I've taken up a new attitude towards my family that's much more in line with God, but also much more draining as it means I have to just pour out in prayer and love and wait with patient sorrow over some things rather than fighting and defending my perspective as always right and necessary; and then there's the church-related grief my family has gone through over the last year. I've had a very delicate and difficult friendship that pulled up a lot of unresolved stuff from a college situation and felt endlessly wearying at times. I've had another issue from college recur in a way I thought had been healthily resolved years ago. I've had this whole roommate marriage situation that as y'all know is a very weird trial and pressure. My church has been dealing with a strange and tough ongoing struggle that was already stressing me out before I started working there. My small group has been amazing and I've loved connecting with and relying on them more, but that connection also means more fully bearing the griefs of a lot of different people dealing with the different struggles of life. My advisor situation has been so weird and tough, making my academic work really hard, and then this recent church work has been fulfilling but physically and often mentally exhausting. My future location, work, and community is up in the air after a few years of stability. (I really didn't mean to make this a recitation of my woes, but honestly it's really helpful to see it all written out here; helps explain my deep deep exhaustion, I guess.)

If I ever followed you on tumblr, I love you. In a number of different ways. I feel fondness at the thought of you and at your presence; I want to know you more fully; I desire the good for you; and I find my well-being to be, at least a little bit, tied up with yours. That last one is the rub. As I'm sorting through all the callings and duties in my life, trying to identify what counts as changing my tires versus what wears my tires out, I've found that my tumblr dashboard can switch back and forth very unpredictably between one thing and the other. Often it's a delight to come on here and find my friends and the cool things we're showing each other and the joys and sorrows and goofy moments of our lives! But at other times, when what I desperately need is an escape and rest and humor to provide solace from in-person cares, I find myself pricked all over again by the sorrow of the world and the stress of sin--or even just irritated by stuff I find irrelevant or disagree with or don't want to be reminded of.

To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's doing anything wrong on here. The opposite; I love the freedom y'all have to seek out what helps you, whether that's a lot of facts and ideas or a lot of goofy content or recipes or weird TV or music or venting about life or seeking prayer or advice! We all have the freedom and responsibility to determine how to use the tools we have to aid us in pursuing the good, whether the good is a quick laugh or building up virtue. But I think for me, at this point in my life, my duty and calling has swung back towards my in-person connections in a variety of ways, and I have to honor that.

The lie of infinity that the internet offers is just that--a lie. for me, that lie right now is being laid bare in my inability to have infinite care for everyone whose path I cross. I could follow everyone on here whom I'm endeared to, could keep messaging and replying and building relationships, but it would be a lie to think I can offer that love and care to everyone I would like to. In-person friendships are limited by physical proximity and time; online friendships can't be unlimited either. I need to apologize for acting as though they could be, and committing myself beyond my limits; but also, my life has really changed, and I'm not going to be caught either by the lie that online is only worthwhile if it's permanent.

I want to be clear that I value the connections I've had with you. I've loved exchanging mail and phone calls, messaging fun things back and forth, being online at the same time or learning about your day after the fact. Please know, also, that I have gone to war in prayer for you, and I continue to do so. I wish that I knew how to love widely without feeling pulled apart and worn down, by difference and sorrow and sin (mine and yours). I hope God is sanctifying me toward that end. But right now I'm fairly convinced I need to honor my calling to in-person friendships; I need to protect my mind and heart from even little pricks and distractions, so that I can keep my desires in order and use my energy for prayer and Scripture and to do good work and love the people God's made my physical neighbors. I really do love you, and I wish we had infinite time to talk and think together. I'm so excited to be with y'all in heaven forever. And who knows--maybe my life will shift yet again (it's looking likely) and I'll have a ton of spare energy and love and will come sheepishly back looking to connect with you again. We'll see. You deserve love and attention and connection, in person and online, and I'm sorry that--at least as it feels to me--I held out the promise of giving you that and then had to withdraw it.

so. there's all that. My dash is super quiet these days, thwarting my dopamine search but pushing me towards texting friends, towards meditating more fully on Scripture, towards praying over my work and burdens. I hope you can understand and maybe even be glad that, God willing, this is how I'm able and needing to work for the kingdom right now. love you love you

[tariah23]

Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.

[itspileofgoodthings]

Taylor returning over and over to the falling through the ice accident in the Bolter—everything to me

[echoes-lighthouse]

Watching Interview With The Vampire Season 2 with my partner

(context for folks who didn't read the books: the characters are significantly more fucked up than in the show, and part of Armand's seduction of Louis and Claudia is presenting them with Armand's personal boy, who sleeps in a little cage in his office, which is one of the primary things I remember about him from the first book)

Episode 2.03

Armand, to Louis: "I have something to show you." Me: "Is it your boy in a cage, Armand?" My partner: "I don't think he has a boy in a cage in this universe." Me: "That's weird!"

Episode 2.04

Armand, explaining his tragic backstory in an art gallery Me: "Yes that's sad but what about your boy in a cage???" My partner: "This Armand doesn't have a boy in a cage!" Me: "And that's weird!! Is he even Armand without a boy in a cage???"

Episode 2.05

Daniel, to Louis: "How long did you two keep me there? I was a glorified house pet for two, three, four, five days? " Me: "Oh my god Daniel is the boy in the cage." My partner: "Finally! He is!" (we have to pause the show because we're too busy cackling at the realization)

[coquelicoq]

just saw my friend who speaks french and told her about my list of favorite french words to pronounce and as soon as she asked for examples i forgot all of them except ensemencement. so i was like, okay get this: ensemencement. expecting her to be like, never heard of it. but she was like, ensemencement! and i said, it's an insanely fantastic word but it probably doesn't come up in the wild in conversation like at all frequently :( because how often is it necessary to talk about the act of sowing seeds if you're not a farmer? and she was like well it was necessary to me. i used it for sure. and that's when i remembered that she was in france specifically to get a science degree which involved reading agriculture textbooks in french so yeah. without even meaning to i found the one american who already has a relationship with the french word ensemencement. serendipity.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[kalashtars]

starting a commonplace book and actually committing to it was one of the best things I've done this year. this is your sign to start a commonplace book 🫵

[eddis-not-eeddis]

.

[hawnks]

I have a soft spot for jealous leads, mcs who aren’t charming or well liked, or even necessarily nice. I bet on losing dogs type characters. Rat girls and losers. More of that in stories, please <3

[thirdtimed]

ive never had engagement to this extent on my art cross platform between tumblr And twitter before... it's so surreal to me. thank you all for the kind words!!!

[dootznbootz]

Not only a scheduled bleeding but a fucking scheduled cry as well >:( WTF

[autistictaylorhebert]

i can turn anything into wildbow hating psychoanalysis