#where they kill humans based on vibes and mood

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt II sandman but i've never watched or read it

It's happening again I'm being kidnapped again there's no hope left for me god I'm so in love with Dream he's such a cutiepie uh right this post okay. I'm uh the Good Omens Mascot and I'm losing my mind here have part two based on whatever I have understood from y'all's replies to my first post.

It's Neil's baby and a lot of amazing artists are involved. One of whom made Dream look like a gooey pile of sad adorableness in volume 1.

Dream is a sad wet lonely repressed cat of a man. No I do not have one type.

There's this dude whom I think is named the Corinthian. He's a dream (but not Dream) and he can see things.

His eyes are mouths and his teeth are apparently Very White and any dental hygienist would orgasm at the sight.

Dream was kept prisoner for a century. Where? I don't fucking know. Why? I don't fucking know. How? Er there was some kind of. Glass (?) case.

There's a sleeping sickness while he's gone coz things got weird.

His raven is killed by someone and maybe he should have forgiven him but he could not.

Something happens at the end of Volume 7 that people need to recover from.

There's someone with glasses who keeps telling Dream stuff and they're Very Important and I have no fucking clue who they are.

There's someone named Freddie and people are feral for him and I don't know who he is.

Dream is just constantly on the verge of tears. Always. Just fucking always. Poor baby.

Sandman more like Sadman amirite.

He thinks everything ever is his fault. Mood.

EVERYONE KEEPS REASSURING ME THERE IS NO CANONICAL INCEST BUT APPARENTLY BOTH DREAM AND DESIRE HAVE SEXUAL TENSION WITH EVERYONE INCLUDING THEIR FAMILY AND EACH OTHER AND THEY ARE SIBLINGS AND AAAAAAAAA.

The family is Endless btw and I don't know what that means but they are.

Dream has a boyfriend (long distance? idk they keep meeting each other every 100 years) named after a cooking stove who calls Dream out for being lonely and Dream doesn't like that and they fight and then they go into the rain etc etc.

Hob is immortal because he does not want to die and he is convinced that humans only die because they uh think there's no other option. It's giving just think positive thoughts.

Dream almost stands him up but then doesn't some bar is moved.

There are keys to Hell and Dream doesn't know what to do with them.

There are tools and they make you weak.

Desire has all the genders.

I am apparently exactly like Delirium.

Dream is a sad wet cat at one point and then he turns into a shadowy being with cute bright eyes.

Dream is fucking pretty in every single fucking century like oh my fuckING GOD I AM SO GAY

Tom Sturridge (?) is Dream's actor and he has chemistry with everyone on screen apparently which leads to incest vibes

There's some kind of fucking Grape Incest scene

Despair is played by Mrs Sandwich

Death is kind and cuddles a dead baby at one point

It's gay but I do not know HOW it is gay but I am assured it is Gay

Er. Feel free to correct me.

[daedelweiss]

What’s Mikey’s relationship with Draxum like in your AU

the short version of it: it's very complicated

the long version of it: despite leo having the most loving and understanding parent out of the 4 of them, mikey probably had the happiest childhood. as emotionally distant as draxum was, he was fond of mikey. he made sure he grew up as a... relatively normal kid: made sure he was healthy, did not train him beyond his limits, and fostered an environment for mikey's powers to thrive and grow freely. draxum wanted super soldiers, yes, but he still saw mutants as one of the yokai and held them in equal regards and that extends to mikey.

i will emphasize though, draxum is still VERY EMOTIONALLY DISTANT. the idiot hasn't even given mikey A NAME. he calls mikey "soldier", "child", or "titan" if he's in a good mood (huginn and munnin were the ones who gave mikey his "Orange Titan" nickname because of his powers). he refuses mikey the chance to express himself and only want him to follow through his orders.

because of this, mikey loves draxum the same way a son loves his father but he is also very vocally angry and upset at him. he and draxum argue OFTEN and mikey only does so because he knows the worse drax will do to him is reprimand him and push back on his ideals, and he knows draxum's motivations come from a place of fear. drax's concern over the prophecy is passed onto mikey which is why he's mostly compliant on drax training him (mikey follows through to protect yokai-kind, not to kill humans). again, he's just upset that draxum's fear made him to the man he is. he also wrestles with drax's hatred for humanity because mikey knows he is part human. mikey's mostly scared that, one day, draxum will step on a path where mikey cannot follow.

that's pretty much a non-spoilery summary of their relationship. on instagram, i described their relationship to be very akin to kratos and atreus. they care about each other deeply but are both on polar opposite scales of the emotional spectrum: draxum is closed off and apathetic while mikey is open and empathetic.

will draxum be redeemable in LM? yes, very much yes. he just has a long, long, looooooooooooong road to go to attain his redemption, especially in mikey's eyes.

(these interactions are not canon and are based from scenes from god of war 2018. this is pretty much the vibe of their dynamic tho)

[ladyculebras]

hello! i'm a big fan of your fics, and was wondering if you had any particular inspirations for you dexter/harrison fics, specifically 'carnivore incarnate'. it's so fascinating! also, forever hoping you'll write more for this fandom ❣

anon, this is incredibly flattering, and I really hope you're still around to read this response. I'm sorry it took me a while. I wanted to really be...comprehensive in my thoughts and this ended up pretty rambly. In some ways, this is an excuse for me to write about my process for my very rare pair, which is self-indulgent, but I hope it'll be of interest to some people at least.

Stoker and Raw are, in general, two inspirations for me that I keep in mind while writing Dexter/Harrison fic. Stoker, because the way I write Harrison, it's always a coming of age story vis-a-vis serial killing. For carnivore incarnate, I specifically drew on Raw for some of the visuals and violence. Both of those films are coming of age stories with incestous vibes and murder, and that's the vibe I want for my fic.

As far as carnivore incarnate goes, well, there's the quote the title is from, which is the Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber, a short story collection; the quote is specifically from The Company of Wolves in it; but I wasn't really drawing on the short story in particular, I just like the quote a lot and I kept hearing it in my head while writing it.

In terms of the vampire mythology, I made it up xD There's absolutely shades of Being Human UK (blood drinking as addiction, daywalking vampires) and The Lost Boys (half-vampirism) and even a bit of The Coldest Girl in Coldtown (not-fully transitioned vampires drinking vampire blood), but I constructed the mythology based on what I needed to make the story work. I needed Dexter to walk in daylight, or else he doesn't work as a Miami blood-spatter analysis, so I decided daylight doesn't have an effect, or it has minimal effect. I needed Dexter to age, so he looks Dad-aged to Harrison, not like Season 1 era Dexter, so I decided blood keeps him young and if he doesn't drink, he'll age at a normal rate. I needed Harrison to be in some half-vampire state where he knows he is not Normal but plausibly think his issues are all psychological, and not that he's a vampire, so I decided he doesn't get his fangs until he makes a kill.

I am writing more for this fandom! The problem is, all my ideas are huge, so it takes forever for me to finish something, and I also get distracted by other projects, because I get easily frustrated if I spend too long on one thing. I sort of can't talk about what I'm currently writing, because it's for an exchange (hopefully) and I need to stay anonymous until I post it, but it should hopefully be done...in a month? I think it needs a month's more of work. I have multiple Dexter/Harrison ideas that I've already started, and I'm writing one Harrison/Brian idea that's about...30k at the moment, but again, slowest writer alive.

I am also really deeply inspired by music; I can write without it, but it always helps. If i'm a low mood, music can help pick me up and put me in a better mood for writing. Certain songs evoke the right feelings or emotions for a scene, or a character, or a specific event, and help me with the imagery or mood. This is the most self-indulgent thing but I make a playlist for most things I write. I don't have a specific carnivore incarnate playlist, but I do have a Dexter/Harrison playlist I made for you gave me my very first gun that I've just been adding to it as I write and turned into a catch-all Dexter/Harrison mix:

you gave me my very first gun

I also have these two other writing mixes that I use for writing Dexter/Harrison, or other Dexter-related or Dexter adjacent content:

monsters are always hungry

no blood for you will ever be enough

I've been listening to that third one a lot while writing. There's a lot of overlap between mixes, and I guess if I had to pick 5 songs that inspire my Dexter/Harrison feelings for writing, I'd go with

patron saint hunter - timber timbre

evil - interpol

alligator blood - nicole dollanganger

glycerine - bush

you want it darker - leonard cohen (thank you, bones and all, for bringing this to my attention)

Thank you for asking! I'm glad you're enjoying the fics. There's such a small audience for this, so I really treasure any level of engagement I get <3

[koolkat9]

"overwhelmed" by Royal & the Serpent

Send me a Song and Hetalia Ship to my Ask Box.

Royal & the Serpent 

Since you didn't put a ship, I'll choose one I think fits the song (if you want a specific ship, feel free to send me another ask). The song definitely gives me Matthew vibes, and I am in a CuCan mood so let's make it Cucan.

Never heard this song before now so I'm going off first impressions. One of the first things that came to my mind was Sci-Fi, so Sci-Fi Au. Matthew being a robot/android made to be a weapon of war. But during shipment he gets taken by the enemy. He would have been completely destroyed if the enemies base wasn't eventually raided, but instead he's abandoned, severely damaged.

Almost a decade later, the abandon hideout is being demolished to make way for a new, useful space. When Matt is found, he's brought to Carlos, a mechanic who specializes in dealing with older models of tech and friend of the leading contractor on the hideout project.

Carlos is surprised by the find. The bot isn't like anything anyone has seen yet also baring a striking resemblance to the latest model of war bots (Alfred). Though that means this bot is potentially dangerous, Carlos's curiosity wins over and he decides to rebuild the bot and get to the bottom of what it is.

When Matthew is finally booted up again. He has know memory of his directive, what he is, where he is, what happened. So he's quite panicked. But luckily Carlos is able to get him to calm down. Unfortunately he doesn't know much about Matt either and tells Matt as much but together they'll figure things out, but he needs to remain calm.

They settle into a quite domestic life. Matthew doesn't like to just sit around and do nothing. So he starts taking care of the house while Carlos is at work. He becomes rather human in the process. Nothing like the machine of destruction he was built to be. He's actually rather shy, even gentle. He particularly takes an interest in nurturing animals.

But he still started out as a machine of destruction. And somewhere deep down he knows something is off. There is a disconnect somewhere within him because of it and it makes him anxious (heavily inspired by the lyrics: "Feels like I'm somebody else" "this mind isn't mine").

One day, Matthew sees a news report about the new war androids, who looks almost exactly like him (again, Alfred's face). Matthew is horrified. Everything seems to make sense now. He's meant to destroy. To kill. He's a danger. To everyone. Especially Carlos. Matthew makes a run for it, he can't risk hurting Carlos, even if it's just an accident. He is broken after all. One malfunction and it could be all over.

But obviously, Carlos, being attached too to Matt, isn't going to abandon him. So he sets off searching for him.

I think Matthew finally comes to his senses when he ends up meeting one of those war bots. The bot introduces himself as Alfred and is intrigued by their similar face. He eventually figures that Matt must have been a prototype. Matthew hangs out with him for the evening. Similar to Matthew, Alfred seems to have settled into a human life too. He was basically stolen by a lead engineer named Tolys after he realized that they were making something really dangerous for a war that had been over for five years. In the end he got fired. But before leaving he refused to leave behind a bot he had bonded with, who had showcase his potential humanity. That bot was Alfred and now he was living happily in a relationship with Tolys.

Matthew confides in him about he worries he'll be a danger to the human he's fallen in love with or to the people around him in general. How he feels a disconnect, like he's not fully himself. Alfred assures him it's normal. They just need to find an outlet. Alfred explains sports/exercise is great for that.

Eventually Carlos finds Matt hanging out with Al. He gets defensive at first, scared Alfred is going to take Matt back to the company that built the both of them (at this point Carlos has also connected that Matt must be a prototype for these war bots). But Tolys luckily gets there just in and explains everything and assures Carlos they won't do that. That they are in a similar predicament.

Matthew agrees to go home with Carlos. Alfred gives Matt his info so Matt can contact him if he needs.

Matthew finds his outlet in hockey. And though he still gets anxious and feels weird about himself every now and then. But he's getting better and settles into a new life with Carlos where he can be who he wants to be.

(Okay, after listening on repeat I realized I missed the news reports shared in the beginning which gives me zombie apocalypse vibes. But I have a stronger plot with the robot au so I'm sticking with this. Plus, I have a...rocky relationship with zombie apocalypses since I've always been absolutely terrified of zombies, though I think they can be used to tell some interesting stories)

[can-i-see-your-passport-please]

(This was sent to my main but I'm answering it here @bring-onthe-rain)

Benrey's eyes are Weird™. If they're blue that generally means he's doing okay or chill or good, if they're yellow that generally means the vibes are Bad, if they're swirly it's conflict. His eyes are basically a mood ring

Tommy's Sweet Voice translations aren't fully accurate. Sweet Voice isn't just rhymes, it's pure thought, pure consciousness, pure emotion. Every color of Sweet Voice is a general emotion, every bubble of Sweet Voice is one or more thoughts. You can't really stop any thoughts from coming through in Sweet Voice- you can suppress some thoughts and focus some so they come out stronger, but then the thoughts you're suppressing just come out more like whispers. The only surefire way to make sure thoughts don't come out through Sweet Voice is to not use Sweet Voice. Which isn't very easy if your mind's full/you're overwhelmed/you're emotional

Tommy can read/hear Sweet Voice, and the rhyming system makes it easier for the others to remember translations. It's not fully accurate but it's easier to remember, so it works.

I just use rhymes and general stuff because it's easy djhsfkjhdskjfds

Pink to red basically means "I'm very attracted to you" because I have the image in my head where Gordon's like "Tommy what does it mean" and Tommy's trying to figure out how to make it rhyme and Benrey's just like "it means you're hot" and walks away and it takes Gordon a full five seconds to process that HANG ON

Once Gordon decides to try and get to know Benrey he gets kinda fixated on Sweet Voice specifically. Like, canonically he REALLY likes Sweet Voice, there's a scene in the full Act 2 stream where he's asking Benrey a LOT of questions about how it works (not to mention also in act two where he was like "your voice is beautiful"). So post canon he basically gets a giant notebook and starts writing down translations and how SV works

Gordon got "IT MEANS I HATE YOU" lodged VERY deeply in his brain and is convinced for a WHILE that Benrey fucking hates his guts

All these bitches AuDHD trans bisexuals

Gordon realized he was bisexual because of Benrey because it's funny

I saw this one post that was like "Bubby NPD" and it was based as hell I can't find it but they were so right so. Bubby NPD (dw it's not based on stereotype the person has npd themself and noticed things)

Gordon has anxiety AND depression (HE'S JUST LIKE ME FR)

*grabs gordon* WHAT THE FUCK WAS YOUR MENTAL STATE BEFORE THE EVERYTHING MENTALLY HEALTHY PEOPLE DON'T TRY TO KILL THEMSELVES AFTER THREE DAYS IN A WARZONE ARE YOU OKAY

Benrey has Very black and white thinking/morality - there's good guys, there's bad guys. Unfortunately it's very biased! (against himself)

Benrey is from Xen, but was raised in Black Mesa. And while pretty much everyone else (aside from bubby's for similar reasons) is in camp Fuck Black Mesa, Benrey's emotions towards it are more... complicated.

Coomer basically found Benrey in Black Mesa one day and adopted him he's his son now (he then introduced him to Bubby and they are famly <3 Benrey has not realized this)

Gordon, Bubby, and Benrey all became a tad agoraphobic post-canon. Gordon because Holy Fucking Shit Trauma, Benrey and Bubby because they were raised in Black Mesa all their lives and have zero percent experience outside of it

Most human to least human: Gordon, Coomer, Tommy, Bubby, Benrey

The betrayal was organized because the military told Benrey they only want Freeman, if you sell him out we'll let you and the rest of your team go free as long as you never say a word about what happened here. (They were lying because they assumed Gordon was the leader and the glue holding the team together and if they lost him, it'd be easier to pick them all off.) Benrey was under the assumption Gordon could respawn, and if they killed him, then A) the military would stop following the team, B) the trackers would be disabled, the piece of shit HEV suit which I hate with a burning passion and hope they tore to bits would need to go (meaning hand holdy real), AND it'd be really funny

The Xen Thing was because Benrey now knew Gordon couldn't respawn, so if he went after the Nihilanth it would permakill Gordon. But the Science Team needed to defeat a single powerful being to get out of Xen. They needed a final boss. So what does Benrey do? Kill the Nihilanth, supplant it as the final boss, get the team to kill him.

andalsotheresthisonelinewherebenreysayshewantedtheemergencyexitdoortokillhim so uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh make of that what you will

(If it's not a game, it's because if a Xen creature is powerful enough to kill the Single Powerful Being they just supplant it, if a human kills the Single Powerful Being during a Rescas it ends said Rescas. Canon is my playground)

Xen was an overstimulating nightmare for Benrey. He was 100% having a meltdown from the SENSORY HELL he was in, on top of a complete mental breakdown

The exact nature of reality in HLVRAI fluctuates in my head depending on what I want it to be and what'd work best for the story. If it'd work best as a game, it's a game. If it'd work best as not a game, it's not a game. But generally, I kinda think of it as "game but also real." Like it formed its own pocket dimension. It's a game to us, but to them it's entirely real, even if they KNOW it's a game. It's complicated ksjhfkdjhsjfhdsj

Okay think of it like this. To us, that game is just a game. The characters are just polygons and code. Their pasts are, if not outright given to us, nonexistent. Up to speculation. Everything they do is determined by a program written by a real person. But that's not how it is to them! To them, their worlds are entirely real! They're real human beings with fully fleshed out lives. They have pasts and relationships and lives that have shaped them into who they are now. They're people! And after the game ends, their world continues on like it always had. There are still game mechanics like respawning, Dr Coomer is still glitchy as hell, but their world keeps turning outside of the player's influence.

Gordon too is an AI. All the AI are kinda shaped by the player's decisions, but Gordon ESPECIALLY is. The player can't decide what the others say and do, but the player CAN decide what Gordon Freeman says and does. The player's decisions, actions, words, personality, body language, it all influenced Gordon and made him who he is. Surely this will not cause him an existential crisis post canon.

By Talos,

Coomer was supposed to die. The reason he's so glitchy and fucked up is he's the tutorial character, and he was supposed to be killed by the ropes after the Rescas started and he'd taught the player how to play, and Tommy was supposed to be the one giving advice afterwards. But he didn't die, so his code was kinda winging it. (The devs didn't spend as much time on his code as the others because, well, he was supposed to die! So that's why he's really fucking buggy)

Gordon was kinda terrified to sleep for a while after the clone fight. A) betrayal, but B) according to Coomer, every time Gordon sleeps, he's put through unimaginable pain. He does not fucking wanna do that to him because he fuckign lomves them :sobcat: so basically for ages he doesn't sleep unless he absolutely has to (or unless he passes out).

Coomer's unimaginable agony when Gordon sleeps stops after the game ends! Win

Gordon's love language is physical affection, Benrey's is acts of service

Benrey doesn't like being shocked by even like power outlets (the reasons will surprise you (it's black mesa that is the reasons)

Gordon's really touch starved. He was touch starved before canon, but due to the HEV suit being a horrible thing that I hope they ripped off of Gordon and burnt to a crisp, Gordon became Touch Starved+

[the-orange-tabby-cat]

ALBUM OF THE DAY: The Alvvays - Antisocialites (2017) (9/?)

WHICH PEDRO BOY IS BASED ON? Javi Gutiérrez

ALBUM VIBES (listen to it on Spotify)

With an easy-going vibe and general optimism sound, Antisocialites is the kind of album that pushes you up through the mix of the guitar, echoey vocals, and a synth that evokes the 60s Yé-Yé. The perfect album to match the impulsive and always sweet Javi G, who likes to understand the world around him and to be a resource for those he cares about. Oh, and we also have a song about being a fan of someone you are close with an LSD reference.

JAVI GUTIÉRREZ CODED LYRICS

“You find a wave and try to hold on for as long as you can, you made a mistake you'd like to erase and I understand” (In Undertow)

“Can't buy into astrology, and won't rely on the moon for anything” (In Undertow)

“What's left for you and me? You respond to my question metaphorically, don't read into psychology and won't rely on your mood for anything” (In Undertow)

“What's next for you and me? I'll take suggestions, we toss and turn in undertow, time to let go” (In Undertow)

“Now you're one of us It was magic hour” (Dreams Tonite)

“Live your life on a merry-go-round, who starts a fire just to let it go out?” (Dreams Tonite)

“If I saw you on the street would I have you in my dreams tonight?” (Dreams Tonite)

“Don't sit by the phone for me, wait at home for me, all alone for me” (Dreams Tonite)

“Writing oaths to me, is it so naïve to wonder?” (Dreams Tonite)

“When I chip through your candy coating you're stuffed with insulation” (Plimsoll Punks)

“Just strawberry ice cream floating with a sprinkle of indignation” (Plimsoll Punks)

“You're the seashell in my sandal that's slicing up my heel” (Plimsoll Punks)

“Your posture's blocking out any possible light, I can no longer see, this conversation spirals into a fight I can barely breath” (Plimsoll Punks)

“Ditch your friends on a whim, later, resurface in a fight, kill the buzz with your decrees and conspiracy theories” (Your Type)

“I die on the inside every time, you will never be alright I will never be your type” (Your Type)

“Let me state delicately, you’re an O and I’m AB” (Your Type)

“Close your eyes and then count to ten, you can tell your friends that I don’t make sense and I don’t care” (Not My Baby)

“The night is like a fading radio” (Not My Baby)

“Traded my rose-coloured shades for a wide lens. Used to make noise, now, I much prefer silence” (Not My Baby)

“Should we pull the parachute? (Don't think so) I will land on my feet but I probably won’t leave the house for awhile” (Hey)

“It feels like forever since you held me like I was a human being” (Hey)

“On your doorstep at 3 AM, fight and you run, and you run, and it’s likely over now” (Hey)

“Friday, we fell through the coffee table and that’s when I discovered that my heart exploded” (Lollipop (Ode to Jim)

“You're a lollipop In the form of a lightning bolt” (Lollipop (Ode to Jim)

“Am I ever gonna fit that mold? 'Cause I don't have the patience to wait in line for you” (Lollipop (Ode to Jim)

“You asked me if I was intrigued by LSD I sat next to you on the picnic bench and before I knew it, you were flying next to me” (Lollipop (Ode to Jim)

“A place to decompress, a vat of chlorine's close enough, I guess” (Already Gone)

“I arrived at the scene, you were perfectly surrounded by pylons when the crowd separated, the officer said you were already gone” (Already Gone)

“Middle of the night, drain the pool, the summer's over” (Already Gone)

“In the park, didn’t think you fell that hard, woke up again and you wanted a new start” (Saved by a Waif)

“Stay where you are and no one gets hurt” (Saved by a Waif)

“You climbed the stairs so high, you can’t come down from there, said you wanted to get it together but you don’t” (Saved by a Waif)

“Say something, waste something, change your life, take something, break something, make your flight, say something, anything” (Saved by a Waif)

“Mommy wants you to be a doctor so she can tell her friends you’re like your father and if it’s all for the sake of conversation, then maybe you should try a new vocation” (Saved by a Waif)

“When the phases of the moon, they don’t apply when accomplishing a simple task takes several tries” (Forget About Life)

“Did you want to forget about life with me tonight? Underneath this flickering light” (Forget About Life)

“When the failures of the past, they multiply and you trivialize the things that keep your hand from mine” (Forget About Life)

TRACKLIST (highlighted are the most Javi Gutiérrez coded songs)

1. In Undertow (03'17")

2. Dreams Tonite (03'16")

3. Plimsoll Punks (04'49")

4. Your Type (02'03")

5. Not My Baby (04'16")

6. Hey (02'48")

7. Lollipop (Ode To Jim) (03'17")

8. Already Gone (03'03")

9. Saved By A Waif (02'59")

10. Forget About Life (02'42")

[avesomnia-inhoramortis]

[ooc]

In no particular order, behold a breakdown of my current St. Trina playlist.

1. Stolen Child- Loreena McKennit

This one is based on a poem by William Butler Yeats about fairies luring a boy away from home, and I associate it with both Miquella and Trina. Particularly because of the way the luring is presented- they want to give the child a better life, free of mortal cares, but at the same time you get the sense that the child is still losing something and it's tragic. They're offering him beauty and peace and wonder and taking him away from everything he already has.

2. Sleepsong- Secret Garden

This is Saint Trina, and her blessing to dreamers. Just listen to it. I'm imagining her stroking someone's hair with their head in her lap.

3. Tarnished Silver- Heather Dale

This is from an album about the King Arthur mythos, and this specific song is Morgan le Fay accompanying King Arthur's body to its final destination. There are MULTIPLE reasons I associate this with Saint Trina, and multiple reasons I associate it with Elden Ring in general. Either way, it is both a lullaby and mourning song, and it's really really good.

4. Labyrinth of Dreams- Nox Arcana

An instrumental that I've been in love with for years. I don't know a lot about music, but I think the little sparkly sound is bells? Or a music box? Either way, it FEELS like fairies and dreams and a strange eerie mystery that isn't necessarily malevolent. It feels like a magical forest where you're being watched.

5. A Nostalgic Dream- Peter Gundry

Yet another intrumental. A bit of a thoughtful one? It feels a bit like sifting through an attic looking through old things, trying with some tragic desperation to fix things. I can't explain it well but the violins in particular here really sell it for me.

6. Fairy Nightsongs- Gary Stadler

This is just pure Trina, and to some extent her faithful. She's here for a fun little frolick in the woods of your mind, and her followers are only awake long enough to sing for her.

7. Come Little Children- Erutan

Speaking of luring people into situations that may not be good for them, this song. Come away with her from a world of murder and beauty alike, play in her shadowed garden forever. Saint Trina doesn't really (consciously) lure people, but if she ever lost that humanity and became the divine concept of Sleep? Yeah. This is the sort of thing that would happen.

8. Hanging Tree- Blackmore's Night

It is undeniable that despite her kindness and mercy, Trina's mercy is euthanasia. While in this song the Hanging Tree doesn't choose to kill anyone... I don't think Trina does either, but she willingly enables and offers the option to those weary of life. I go back and forth on whether or not she likes or regrets it, mostly depending on her mental state in the given situation. This is a very thoughtful song and the vibes are right. "Now children play at her feet, and in her arms she cradles birds... still somewhere in the back of her mind is the time she was known as the old hanging tree."

9. Era Oscuro- Ana Alcaide

A very interesting little song with gorgeous instrumentals. The lyrics themselves are a very small little story- a conversation under the moon, in the quiet of night, scolding someone for coming to remind the singer of unpleasant things. Saint Trina's slumber is certainly oblivion- I imagine there are many things people don't want to talk about, when then succumb to her slumber.

10. Winter Moon- Erutan

While Trina certainly isn't a yuki-onna, the vibe is definitely compatible here. She is somewhat doomed to eventually kill anyone who loves her too deeply. She can bring comfort, she can bring oblivion, but she cannot bring life, and therein lies the tragedy.

11. The Lily- Faun

Partially for the title, partially for the vibes. The hurdy gurdy with the lovely female vocals and the birdsong in the background really sets the mood.

12. In A Faraway Dream- Eurielle

Trina truly deeply misses Miquella. Even she has to wonder if he cares for her, sometimes. She wants to go back to the Haligtree, to have a family, to be a girl and not a saint. But she can never go back, and certainly not to a home that might never have existed at all. She's still willing to reach for Miquella, but he never reaches back.

13. Once Upon A Dream- Sleeping Beauty OST

You know Exactly why this is here. Of course I added the Disney princess song about falling in love in a dream. Both Miquella and Trina (and even Malenia) are princesses followed around by cute animals who are full of love and kindness.

14. Once You Had Gold- Enya

Lovely ethereal song featuring GORGEOUS female vocals in a soothing lullaby about how all good things pass, but so do the seasons, and that's okay. Because so too will the darkness. Very much a Saint Trina song as she soothes her dreamers. "Time gave both darkness and dreams to you."

15. Dreamland Fairies- Brandon Fiechter

This instrumental feels like wandering around in a strange forest with fireflies in it, finding cute little streams and magical groves. And perhaps, maybe, the forest is looking back with curious interest. This is 100% the vibe for Trina just wandering around in dreams, singing to herself.

16. Gossamer Wings- Derek Fiechter

This one is a bit more of a march than the other instrumentals. Still full of silvery bells and magical noises but there's an expectation to it. Not much more to say, but very fun to write to. Saint Trina can have a little backbone as a treat.

17. Girl into Devil- SJ Tucker

Both Miquella and Trina. Literally every line has something I can point to for one or both of them, morally grey no matter how much they insist they're doing this for the right reasons. You should listen to the whole thing on principle, but I just wanted to drop a quote here for the people mourning Miquella the Kind: "Trust the devil never to let go, mixing hell and romance just like any other fool. Wisely, you must heed a sister's words: love comes down to nothing more than who is to rule."

18. 1157 (Til It's Over)- SJ Tucker

This song is about the end of the world. Or, rather, the tense minutes when you don't know if the world is going to end, so you hold on to your loved ones. Originally written, if I recall right, to convey the vibe of being afraid of nuclear war. Despite the fear, there's very much a driving message that something must be done. "If nothing changes, nothing grows. No rotted towers overthrown."

19. Princess Aurora- Luca Turilli

Admittedly, this song is just here because I love it and my brain insists the song is purple. I could certainly concoct reasons for why it fits Trina as a guide to the pilgrims of the Haligtree, but it is mostly here because I just really love Luca Turilli's music.

20. Grieve No More- Patty Gurdy

Yet another absolute win of a lullaby for St. Trina of the Cradlesong. Technically applicable to Miquella too, since he's offering a home to the lost and the persecuted, but I imagine this as something Trina sings to the albinaurics. The hurdy gurdy is also everything to me. The song does go bombastic and huge there in the middle but she deserves to be big and loud and divine. Also the wing noises at the very end bring me joy.

21. The Valley- Auri

This is the vibe anytime someone meets Trina in a dream, or in the rare times she blooms in the waking world. Soothing, happy to be here, and very much inviting anyone who passes to stay and rest awhile to enjoy the day. There's BIRDSONG in it.

22. I Hope Your World Is Kind- Auri

I mean the title says it all. This song gives me feelings but nothing I can say summarizes why I picked it better than the title.

23. Sleeping Sun- Nightwish

This is Trina's grief, her longing, her lullaby and her loneliness. She misses Miquella, badly, and loves him more than she can say. This song might even be her temptation, that too-often moment when she considers abandoning her own humanity to become a numb elemental god.

24. The Truth Beneath The Rose- Within Temptation

Just take this. Take this, look at it. The DLC is strong with this one. "Give me strength to face the truth, the doubt within my soul. No longer I can justify the bloodshed in his name. Is it a sin to seek the truth, the truth beneath the rose? Pray with me so I will find the gate to Heaven's door. I believed it would justify the means, it had a hold over me. Blinded to see the cruelty of the beast. It is the darker side of me. The veil of my dreams deceived all I have seen. Forgive me for what I have been. Forgive me my sins."

25. About three different covers of the merchants' song and I'm not listing them all

Based on cut content, this is the song Saint Trina gave to the merchants to drive off Frenzy. I absolutely had to include it and I couldn't decide on a cover.

26. Walking In The Air- Nightwish

There are many covers of this, but this is my favorite. Buckle in lads we're going on a magical operatic journey through the wintery night skies. You WILL experience childlike wonder and you WILL hear someone musically convey the concept of snowflakes. It's epic in the way only the most incredible dreams are.

27. Ghost of a Rose- Blackmore's Night

I'm imagining Thiollier listening to this song and just bursting into tears. Lovely song about a mysterious woman who may or may not be a flower, that is never seen again? Yeah. This song is why Thiollier and Fevor and Rico and every other poor romantic fool is chasing her to the ends of the earth.

28. Lilium- two versions, one by Grissini Project and one by Chrisdiospria

If you want the lyrics and translation you can find them here. It's basically a Latin prayer titled "Lily" and EXTREMELY Miquella coded to me, but also appropriate for Trina. Saint Trina requires some Catholic vibes for necessary flavoring.

29. Elsa's Song- The Amazing Devil

Ooooh this song. The repeated emphasis on forget-me-nots, you say you love me but I can't believe you, rotten battlefields. This is about Miquella the Kind, who might make the gestures of mourning that which he has wrought, but he doesn't really. Not honestly. This is Saint Trina's grief, being left behind by the person who should have loved you, but you've been in denial for a very long time. Bonus points for the inclusion of lilies in the last verse.

30. Roses in the Rocks- SJ Tucker

This was, if I remember right, written specifically for Pride and the concept of queer rebellion in general. It's got flowers, it's hopeful, encourages community, and has a little bit of "eat the government". Considering who and what Trina is, this feels appropriate.

31. The Unquiet Grave- Karliene

I very much associate Trina with spirit-tuning and the duties of a psychopomp. She does guide people to death through sleep. On top of that, this song is about a dead woman asking the guy at her grave why he won't let her rest, because kissing her would be his death anyway, which is exceedingly appropriate for the DLC.

32. La Dame Blanche- Cécile Corbel

Soft and light and just a little eerie, complete with a magical harp. Exactly what I want when I'm writing Trina. Bonus points for this entire section of the lyrics (put through a translation website): "When the night comes, and I despair that I can no longer see a hint of light, I search in my heart, a flame in the dark, so that memory and hope never die. I hear the white lady singing from the top of the chestnut branches."

33. Beauty- Layto

Honestly this one is a wild genre shift and I'm considering moving it to a different playlist, but for now I really like having something that reminds me of Trina's addictive poison on here. You just know people have ruined their lives drowning in lily wine.

34. Luring- Patty Gurdy

This song is one of the reasons I settled on Trina-as-a-god being a bog elemental, very similar to the Rot but with a distinctly Celtic flavor. Well. That and the goddamn nuckelavee in the DLC. This song 100% makes me think of a kelpie or huldra trying to drown someone. That said, it's got elements of both Trina and Miquella to me, particularly the lines about being a mirror.

35. The Call- Regina Spektor

To be frank this song makes me cry no matter what, because it's a Narnia song, but the reason it's on this playlist is specifically because I have hope about Trina's death and the fact that, like Malenia, she will someday bloom again. Elden Ring is a story of the ending of an age and the beginning of the next, no matter what that next age may be. This song is both for the Tarnished, and for the hope of the future in general, rooted in a little bit of sad nostalgia.

[misireads]

Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice

[ physical book, read in finnish ]

a reporter boy interviews a 200-year-old vampire who recites his entire life story to him. originally the heir of a plantation in louisiana, the protag, louis, was turned into a vampire by an asshole named lestat who wanted louis as his vampire slave partner in order to control his finances. the protag ruminates a whole lot on the loss of his humanity and resists the vampire ways, which annoys lestat. then they turn an orphaned little girl into a vampire and she becomes their third partner and a really fucked up child vampire (and then a mentally adult vampire trapped in a child's body). louis and the girl get tired of lestat and try to kill him and then escape to look for more vampires in europe because lestat refuses to tell them any more about their kind or how to find them or whatever. they only find some weird zombie vampires in eastern europe and decide to retract to paris instead where they meet a whole theatre-full of hot and intelligent vampires like they are, but instead of finding a welcoming community for themselves to join, a whole lot of drama ensues.

or in just two words: vampire drama.

➕ somehow didn't expect this to be a literal interview of a vampire, despite that title. anyway. the gothic imagery of course is on point, being a horror enthusiast it was definitely my favourite part of this all. pick almost any scene and it's somehow iconic in the romantic gothic horror aesthetic sense, very vividly and beautifully described too. i haven't read any analysis on this book whatsoever (obviously, since i hadn't even read it until now) or anne rice's writing but many of the scenes felt like she just wanted to put them in for Vibes and Mood and to get to describe the delicious details. good for her honestly

➕ i'm not going to say no to hot vampires who dress well. and it's made very clear that all the characters who have any relevance are hot and dress like CLAMP characters

➕ the suspense was pretty good… mostly.

➖ this is so... sigh. i wanted to like this book more than i did, but so little happens in it. the characters kind of… don't do anything? all louis does throughout is melodramatically go back and forth about his human and vampire sides clashing and so much of the drama is just based on nothing. i didn't really understand any of it, too pretense philosophical for me. all of it seemingly boils down to the vampires having some kind of love-at-first-sight partners that they're then obsessed with (and apparently "not sexually" but they sure get sexual all the time anyway) so louis was initially obsessed with lestat but realised he kind of sucks, so he wanted claudia the girl vampire to be his new obsession and that's somehow a problem with lestat around because idk so they toss lestat in a swamp and run, and then in paris armand becomes louis's new-new homogay(but not romantic or sexual!) obsession and that's a problem with literally everyone including characters it has nothing to do with and idk, it's just weird to me. i didn't understand what half of their conversations were really about, so many words that hold no meaning whatsoever. occasionally i wondered if it was the finnish translation being bad again but honestly… i don't think it's all that? i think this story really does lack that substance to explain shit about things like character motivations because idk they're vampires and have weird vampire emotions that are different from humans. i guess in that sense rice did a good job? because i am indeed human and don't understand this philosophical vampire drama

➖ this wasn't particularly easy nor fast to read. the paragraphs are ridiculously long, there's no real chaptering or anything, it felt exhausting. also it's entirely unbelievable that this is framed as louis reciting his memories to the boy in one sitting because this is NOT written in the way a person (or. a vampire) would give a speech about their life. this is written as, well, a novel. it's the opposite of ishiguro's never let me go. i can tell you, i read my books out loud and, rough estimate, this one took around 20 hours. you WILL not go through this fucking story verbally in a single night my man

➖ the description of claudia's character was just *police sirens in the distance* (and any underage characters to that matter, i mean the only explicitly sexual scene involves a minor). why does louis need to go so hard into describing how soft and peachy and underdeveloped she is and calling her his lover and shit. i sometimes forgot this was written by a woman while reading because these scenes absolutely sound like the kind of garbage a cis man would obsess over in writing and then excuse it with Art but actually he's just horny for children

➖ eastern europe really got the short end of the stick here and it was kinda offensive. no wonder the film left that out completely

⭐ score: 3 -- this book was… alright? i didn't find myself liking it very much by the time i got to the end, nor do i feel like i want to read any more vampire chronicles. i also watched the film and hey what the fuck was that ending. (also the film depicted armand so fucking wrong. just saying)

[heart-forge]

ok so I love Valerian - and Siruud and basically all your characters. I suppose that's what being the epitome of a disaster gay does to you! (Although I gotta admit Tahira does sometimes make me question if I'm not bi 0.0)

If it wasn't muuuuch trouble, I did have one or two asky things? I'mma put them here and like, answer as many or as few (even zero!) as you want; you indulge your fans so much with being so responsive <3.

First is literally just; li's with like an mc who is both touch averse, especially until they get to know someone, but also v touch starved and bad at potentionally asking for what they need? For no reason other than just being an awkward human (like no trauma or angst) they're just like......oh no. like everyone I know thinks I'm touch averse, but tbh if someone were to hug me or shit I'd probably melt into a pile of (very happy) goo. plus having hair played with? instant death of happiness.

And the other one might be relatable - but how would your characters comfort an mc who is supremely frustrated, angry, and upset because they lost something they'd been working hard on for a long time? I literally spent 4 hours STRAIGHT on a java coding thing and then something pissed off the compiler and now no matter WHAT I DO it's like ... error .... error ... error... like you *twit* there is literally no way this can throw an error, what?!!!! Anyway I just wanted you to know that I like replay your games/trawl through your blog whenever I feel down/need a pick me up, you're simultaneously one of the best IF writers I've had the pleasure of discovering, plus you're just so very kind and wholesome in your interactions with people, I like always wanna send little sketches of your characters too you just because I love them so much ******

AHH thank you !!! 💚 (x1b)

I was going to address a potentially touch averse + touch starved MC in the original ask: I only didn't because I thought it would be way too long jfhkjd. Here's my chance though!

Is Savvy Enough to Just Ask

Valerian, Crave, Abeni, Tahira

As much as some of them might have the powerful instinct to touch, they also have full possession of their braincells and understand that the best way to solve your mutual problem...is just...to ask. Maybe MC'll say no and maybe that'll be against their instincts, but checking in is going to be the only way that anything moves forward! What healthy people.

They're Having a Separate Confidence Crisis

Trigger, Siruud, Gnarl

They want to touch. They want to ask to touch. They might even be getting the vibe that you might be open to adjusting the touch-parameters in the relationship...but like, what if they're wrong? What if they're monsters? What if their touch would make things worse? I don't know how you're going to mutually kill your way out of this one.

Spiderman Pointing Meme

And okay, for the second question...honestly mood kjhfdskj when I was in school for code me and two guys were making a video game (ironically I based it conceptually off of Bad Ritual but it was a platformer where you had to platform to Tahira's office and she was the final boss of the demo) sometimes we'd launch code and it would IMMEDIATELY throw an error. And we were all sitting next to each other so you'd just watch as one of us made a face. Closed it. And immediately hit relaunch. As if launching it a second time would fix the bugs.

Overreacts For Your Amusement

Valerian, Crave, Tahira

Valerian, jokingly sending the computer to swim with the fishes. Crave, threatening to ground the computer. Tahira, writing it up. They're just going to make a dumb joke about punishing the machine (ik you didn't specify code but it's relatable) to make you laugh.

Pulls Out Some Absolutely Wild Miracle Work

Mantis, Trigger

The Scouts of the Wasteland are always prepared, and so they're going to have some wild...like they're gunna know of some sneaky way to get what you were working on back, or fix it, or troubleshoot it. They're going to fix the problem and they're going to look hot as hell doing it.

Comforts You

Gnarl, Abeni

You know, like people do. They're going to make you a warm drink, they're going to hold you, they're going to make/order a nice dinner for you after a long, hard day.

Puts His Entire Stupid Fist Through the Computer

Siruud

Problem solved.

[in-tua-deep]

Oooooo the red bock au sounds so interesting! Does Five caught himself thinking of his brothers just as numbers and weapons like Reginald talks in his book? Does he read Vanya book to remind himself that they are still human even though he reads it through lens of someone hurt by them all? And I feel like the handler would know either way about the books but o it's so much fun to see five being paranoid

I think having both books and both perspectives reminds Five that... he’s getting some very biased accounts of his own siblings. I think that when he’s still young, he writes down as many memories as he can remember because... he starts to forget, at some point. 

Vanya’s book talks about how volatile Diego and Luther’s relationship is, and so Five writes down the time Luther and Diego teamed up to toss Five off a balcony when Five kept switching the pens in their hands with pipe cleaners during a lesson (and he will maintain until his dying day that he was just practicing his control, c’mon guys!)

when Reginald’s notes call Allison an “insufferable, narcissistic creature,” Five remembers Allison bribing him to cause trouble and distract Reginald so that she could use the microwave unobserved to heat up some water bottles as makeshift heat packs for Luther’s sore muscles

when Vanya calls Ben “easily manipulated,” Five recalls Ben arguing theories with him at 2am after one of Ben’s training sessions where Ben almost flipped his bed when Five jokingly suggested that he could use the horror’s tentacles to bounce up and down like a pogo stick before Ben tackled him and tried to beat Five to death with an encyclopedia of sea creatures (affectionately)

I think having Reginald’s journal actually helps in a lot of ways, because Five automatically autocorrects literally all of Reginald’s thoughts to be like, mostly inaccurate and much harsher than they need to be. So when he reads Vanya’s journal he also autocorrects and is able to recognize that it is a very biased and somewhat harsh view of his siblings

(he doesn’t distrust them as much as he does in canon, with only Vanya’s harsh words to cling to with no reminder that they were all raised by a man capable of unfathomable cruelty, no reminder that authors can be oh so biased)

outside of his equations, there’s notes to himself written in the margins of Vanya’s book. Sometimes they’re just small, pointing out that Klaus had fought to include Vanya in trap week (Klaus then proceeded to team up with her and managed to catch Five in a snare - he actually still has a scar around his ankle from his upsidedown thrashing before he managed to steal one of Diego’s knives to cut himself down) or pointing out that Luther’s chilly attitude when they were ten was probably the result of Vanya outperforming him in every standardized test they took because of Luther’s ridiculous inferiority-superiority complex

at the very least he has comparison, because Reginald’s book calls Klaus an absolute failure while Vanya’s book called him “sweet, as a child at least”

As for the Handler... she’s aware that he has Vanya’s book and a red notebook, but I don’t think she actually knows what’s in the red notebook! Reginald was notoriously secretive, after all

So the Handler assumes that the red notebook is where Five keeps his time travel equations because aw, he hasn’t given up! how cute!

She makes an assumption that, logically, makes sense. Of course Five is still trying to figure out time travel, no matter how much he denies it! Of course he’s writing the equations down! What a silly boy, thinking that he could hide this from her, of course she knows about his little plans to save his siblings ;3c

And because she’s so powerful and knowledgeable and one step ahead all the time, she makes an assumption and assumes that it is fact. Because she’s so smart, of course she isn’t wrong! She’s had Five clocked from day one!

(The Handler thinks she has Five all figured out, a creature so based in sentiment. Why would he carry a book around that details the torture his siblings went through? He hates his father, why would he ever carry around his father’s notebook! The Handler has a fatal flaw, and it is that she doesn’t understand loyalty and sneers at sentiment and those are two of Five’s most powerful driving factors. Five lives for his siblings and would die for his siblings, almost his entire life has been dedicated to saving them. Not the world, just his family.) 

(She understands that Five considers his family to be exceptionally valuable, but doesn’t comprehend that Five is 100% willing to die for them should it come down to it. Why on earth would anyone value something like siblings over their own life? Absurd. I genuinely believe that the Handler thinks she could get Five to betray his siblings with the right leverage, and so she fundamentally does not understand Five as a person)

To be fair to the Handler, the whole academy’s morals and just. completely and utterly fucked. Luther condemns the murder of innocent civilians even if it would save the planet but doesn’t blink an eye at killing the ‘bad guy’ Commission agents. Diego stabs criminals as a pastime while still holding himself at a moral high ground for saving people, despite the fact that too many criminals are forced into crime by unfair circumstances. Allison used her powers to bolster her career without even blinking but now refuses to use her powers at all because of the manipulation of one (1) child, not even against ‘bad guys.’ 

I mean. Vanya wrote an entire salt book without consulting her siblings that had lasting impacts on at least one of her sibling’s career in the public eye and potentially impacting her siblings relationships with everyone who had every read the spark notes on her book, without the opportunity for reprisal. Publishing your entire family’s dirty laundry as personal emotional catharsis is... kind of a dick mood, lets be real. Especially when you were all abused children raised in an environment of excessive violence and rigid structure. 

Like yeah, of course Allison is good at manipulation and lying - she grew up with an abusive and over-controlling father. She probably lied as easily as breathing about where she’d been, who she was with, what she was doing, etc. The only privacy they got in that household was what they seized with their own hands and carved out for themselves! Is it fair to say that Allison’s superpower is dishonestly?

Is it fair to say that Klaus got crueler as he grew? He was tortured and turned to drugs as an unhealthy coping mechanism, and then he sat down at a table and looked at all the other little kiddies who did not get locked into a crypt overnight. In fact, there was one child who never got any extra training at all! Can you imagine the jealousy? The bitterness? Klaus might have been exceptionally cruel to Vanya as a teenager, she had everything he wanted and dared to complain about it. Can you imagine listening to someone wistfully wish they could join in on missions when you know that the cost for doing so has been carved out of your soul?

My point is, none of these little bitches have anything that resembles a sane moral compass. They’re unpredictable as fuck! It’s like herding cats! You never know what they’re going to do next! Oh? Are they going to investigate in any logical pattern? No, because Diego just remembered Patch exists and helping her print flyers for the annual police ball is more important than saving the world or whatever lol

Luther is over there investigating the moon! The moon! Meanwhile Allison is breaking and entering her sister’s student’s house because she got shady vibes off of him one time and she has never heard of a proportionate action in her life. 

Meanwhile Vanya is going through the phone book trying to call up psychiatrists who have any familiarity with whatever fucked up meds Dad put her on because like, she would like to Not Be On Them (fuck you dad) but also understands that danger of quitting cold turkey something you have been taking for years and would like a professional opinion on how to safely decrease and eventually eliminate her usage, thanks (Klaus is hanging over her shoulder pointing out the ones who will sell you non-prescription drugs for a price and Vanya mentally crosses those ones off of her list to call)

Five is probably joining on the breaking and entering because Allison promised she would sweet talk to eye dude if he did her this solid 

(Five complains at length about how investigating the apocalypse should not be a solid because she would 100% die as well if the apocalypse came to pass)

[fabdante]

Not to keep on with this but right so I made a post about Vergil and Bernini  and in that post I mentioned what art works and pieces I think represent the other parts of the DmC trio, Kat and Dante. And I just wanted to follow up on that with more focused posts because yall have no idea, I’m very into this whole thing.

First up: Dante

So Dante I go into a good deal in the Baroque essay already so some of this is a rehashing but I just wanted to go more in depth about Dante and Caravaggio’s Davids. 

(David and Goliath, 1599)

(David with the Head of Goliath, 1607)

(David with the Head of Goliath, 1610)

More about Dante, Caravaggio, and especially that last David under the cut! This one got a little long.

Ok so first things first, like discussed in the Baroque essay, Dante is Baroque and the game is based around Caravaggio’s Baroque to a point where many of his paintings are directly referenced. That last David in particular is referenced directly in the game. See below:

so I’m not really saying anything the game hasn’t really done itself here. Dante is the main character, he is represented by Baroque and Caravaggio. That’s his vibe, that’s the parallel. And it’s a very intentional one I mean in Talexi’s art book he discusses picking Caravaggio as an influence and the overlap between Dante’s whole deal and Caravaggio’s own. But I’m like really into Caravaggio’s David’s and want to talk about that and the neat way this plays with Dante’s whole deal so, let’s do it.

To quickly summarize Caravaggio and the background of his last David: Caravaggio was an angry guy who worked in Rome during the Baroque period until he killed a guy for Reasons (probably a bet, possibly a woman, possibly a tennis match or something, probably the bet). He gets kicked out of Rome, does some stuff (joins a knighthood? at some point then leaves the knighthood?), gets word that the pope wants to pardon him. He goes back to Rome with some art but dies on the way at the ripe age of 38. One of the paintings with him that makes it on this trip is the last David. 

What I like about Caravaggio’s David’s is how different they are then other David’s that come up in the art history canon. Just for comparison I’ll share the famous David but also Bernini’s David from the same time period.

(The David, Michelangelo)

(David, Benini. Pain to get a photo of s2g)

The first key difference is I mean, all three of Caravaggio’s David’s are wearing clothes which I think is neat in that I imagine he would be wearing those given the situation. But beyond that, what strikes me about Caravaggio’s David’s is their youth. In the biblical story, David is more the age Caravaggio consistently depicts him at. Which is about approximately preteen or teenage. The second thing that strikes me is the confidence and power displayed in Bernini and Michelangelo’s David’s evoke. But Caravaggio’s are not confident, not the way these one’s are. And especially that last one. 

Caravaggio’s David is unsure. He’s just done this thing, killed this man, but he doesn’t seem to have quite processed it in the first two. But in the third, he is processing it. And he’s not processing it well. This is a David who is unsure. This is a David who seems to pity the man who’s head he now holds by the hair. This is a David who is not strong and unwavering and confident and elegant, this is a child who just killed a man. This echo’s in the games interpretation of the scene, that same worry echoing in Dante’s brow that’s in Caravaggio’s. It’s a sympathetic David in that he seems to be unsure if this choice was worth the personal toll but also in the sense that the viewer is sympathetic to him, they feel bad for this child who has just been forced to make this choice. 

Reboot Dante’s life is not one about choice, it’s not really something he seems to be able to do often. Sparda put him into the orphanage and the orphanage put Dante into the foster care system. And ever since then Dante has had to fight. Not by choice, but by necessity. It show’s in his combat style, in his clearly untrained movements focused on power and strength rather then tactics. Vergil, if you watch him fight, he’s much more elegant, his style reflecting practice and technique. Dante, though, throws everything into his movements to kill as fast as possible. That if he just swings hard enough, this’ll all be over faster. He even stumbles in his combat because he’s put so much power into his swings, it’s my favorite little detail. 

In the game, it’s mentioned that Dante’s first recorded demon kill was when he was eight years old. It was one of the ‘caretakers’ at the facility he was in. I often wonder if that’s the moment that they were trying to depict in this image, the moment after that. I'm not really sold that he looks eight here but I mean you be the judge of that but bare with me. It’s the mood, that moment right after he’s been forced to enter his new reality for the first time. That he is going to have to fight like this the rest of his life. That bewilderment and regret and just general disbelief that he’s done this, that he’s just killed something. That sorrow for the Dante he was before, like that sorrow that David must be feeling for who he was before as well. 

But there’s a second layer here I haven’t gotten to yet. And that’s how Caravaggio’s David is also thought to be a self portrait. No, he’s not David. Caravaggio has painted himself as Goliath. A portrait of Caravaggio for reference: 

(Caravaggio as depicted by Ottavio Leoni in 1621)

Usually this is read as a tongue and cheek thing to the pope, like Caravaggio is offering himself in the ultimate repentance for his crimes. He’s sorry, here’s his head on a platter. But there’s something about it being a self portrait coupled with David’s pity for this Goliath that feels kinda...sad in a way. 

Further context to this is Caravaggio, on the run or not, did not have a studio. He was a solo artist, which is a bit odd for the period at his level. He did not take students, so his techniques died with him. No one else worked on his paintings, they’re all by his hand. This in particular David was not commissioned either, it was done as a gift. So this was a deliberate thing entirely thought through by him, painting himself as Golith, painting David so full of pity and grief. 

It’s sort of this idea of pity for the monster when you yourself are the monster as well as a sort of self hatred. Which reboot Dante is familiar with. Either Dante, preboot or reboot, kind of has this arc about trying to cope with being half demon while hating being half demon. It’s not a part of himself that he likes. The reboot goes further with this though because he doesn’t even have the solace of being half human, he’s also half angel. Reboot Dante goes from seeing himself as a human being to being told no, your not, your the things that you hate and it’s your job to protect people anyway. You are both the out of control monster and a threat, but also their protector. 

In either reboot or preboot this isn’t like the most explicit character beat, though it does come up. In the reboot we see it peak through in moments like Dante’s interactions with Phineas. The ‘my father was a demon and I’m nothing like him’ mentality. The reboot makes this more pressing to in that like, the reboot makes it clear that demons are not a hive mind. While they seem to vary in intelligence and free will and all that, the game does not imply that Phineas and Sparda are alone in their grievances where as the preboot paints demons like Sparda and Trish as complete oddities. But part of either Dante’s rejection of Sparda is always rooted in ‘Sparda is a demon, and I’m nothing like the demons.’

This is interesting in the reboot because, unlike Vergil, reboot Dante is always visually contrasted with demon imagery. His world is very red. His color is red. The colors on him, even the blacks and grays, are warm tones. His devil trigger is designed in such a way that the abundance of reds in it are even more prominent then his initial design. The only time he’s not is the scene with the graffiti where he’s positioned on the side with the angels. But visually it’s still made clear. Dante is the demonic twin, Vergil more angelic. On top of that, characters in the reboot love to point out how Dante reminds them of Sparda. Phineas does it and Mundus really does it (the ‘just like your father, too big for your fucking boots’ line). Which further puts Dante at odds with his identity. As much as he thinks he is nothing like Sparda, he’s his fathers son. He’s the demon half of this twin relationship. 

I think to like Caravaggio’s David’s just...they don’t want to do this. They’re just kids. They don’t want to kill their Goliaths. But they have to. Which is the spot we see reboot Dante in. He doesn’t want to save the world. He doesn’t want to fight for his life as often as he does. He doesn’t want this. But he has to do it. He might say he doesn’t give a shit, but what’s his choice? When has he ever had a choice? He’s the unwilling savior.

This runs through the game to. Dante doesn’t really want to be here. He makes that clear a lot. And his bravado is constantly a cover to keep him from being too vulnerable, too exposed. But it’s that last fight with Vergil where it all falls apart. He did this because Vergil asked him to, and Vergil didn’t even tell him the truth. And just like everything else, Dante doesn’t want to kill Vergil. He doesn’t want to fight him. But he’s provoked him anyway and got himself in this fight and he can’t let Vergil take the throne. David can’t just let Goliath go.

It’s the end of the game where we finally have Dante completely free of his walls and completely bare and entirely unaware of who he is and what he’s supposed to do next. It’s the same sort of vulnerability that I feel is abundant in that last David. Who is he now after all of this? Does he like this person? What’s he to do now that he knows what he’s capable of, knows what he’s done?

What makes him any different then this head in his hands?

[alteredsilicone]

NEW WAR SPOILERS!

Gonna put together a rough post of my thoughts about the quest and such, ALL UNDER THE CUT:

Kahl and Teshin were underwhelming playstyle wise, since they just felt like clunky and unwieldy warframes. Also Kahl's portion was confusing visually because everything was tinted red. :^) I died twice lol, had to get used to the mechanics. Teshin's part was, in his own words, too easy. But not frustrating at least.

Veso was REALLY fun and yes I am biased towards Corpus. He was also really cute and I liked his heroic sacrifice in the end. Using proxies to solve puzzles and fight was a cool step back from our usual gameplay, ngl I hope we can get a summoner warframe or have more NPCs as playable segments in stories or events.

The ending of the prologue where Lotus is thrown into the Void (?), Teshin is killed and then our Operator is "killed" was BOMB, it really set the mood and made me fear that heads are gonna roll.

That said...

Drifter play was fun - I am really glad DE made it not too hard but still fun to play and not too grindy. I am a Chroma main so my usual playstyle is "stand in enemy fire and just blast them with your Vex Armor Buffed Damage" so actually having to time my shots reminded me of when I was newbie and actually played carefully by taking cover. :D

FUCK THE FORTUNA SNEAKING SCENE, that was the only time I felt like ragequitting. Also The song was 12/10, it sent chills down my spine when I realized what it was based on.

I got really scared when Ordis said that Vox Solaris "collapsed" under Narmer, felt better when LD showed up... but you know what? A bit upset there is no real aftermath. I ran to Fortuna after the quest and everyone is just vibing there. LIKE HELLO? Cool that Vallis is permawarm now.

I really really really hoped there would be more input from all the NPCs, which is why I liked the intense start. If they can kill Teshin, that means they can kill more NPCs but... nothing really happened. Like, the stakes were high and then they weren't. Plus we never got any follow-up with Teshin, he is just a hologram and we don't even care. Poor uncle.

Yeah, Erra died too but like... I was neutral about him and then he just dies and I'm like ok bye I won't miss you

Other than that - Unum part was fine, REALLY REALLY liked the Zariman stuff and the Operator/Wally/Drifter stuff.

I am really invested in the Operator character so I was very happy that we were given more personality and acted more human and interacted with the world. Also I chose drifter and my Tenno OC is now perma-drifter story-wise. I'll mold the lore later.

I am on fifty tangents now but...

I really liked everything that came after the second Archon fight so I can't complain.

The ending and callback to the Second Dream brought me to tears.

I chose Lotus because I feel that is what /she/ chose too.

Also really wanted to punt Ballas right in his dickless crotch for calling Lotus a bitch. What a dick. Absolute scumbag. Good riddance!!!

Ps. Ordis as a little sentinel is super precious. We can hug him now. ;_;

[sylvies-chen]

From Song to Storyline: Comparing Lorde’s “Melodrama” Album to Hailey Upton’s Upcoming Journey

Ok I couldn’t resist, I made a comment about how Hailey Upton is in her Melodrama era (because yes, I’m an absolute Lorde fanatic) and my loving soulmate @sylviebrettsey mentioned Taylor Swift’s Reputation too, but ALSO how she was unfamiliar with Melodrama so you can thank her for this analysis of why I picked Melodrama as Hailey’s season 9 mood! It’s going to be VERY long so I’ll put everything under the cut but I hope you guys like it! (And Sky, I hope you find this Lorde knowledge to be helpful lol. This is going to be very long but I hope it’s worth it and convinces someone out there to give the album a listen)

Reputation is an album that feels inherently vengeful in all the best ways. Songs like “Getaway Car” and “Don’t Blame Me” fit Hailey’s predicament at the end of season 8 very well, especially in relation to Jay. Those two songs as well as the album in general make for a very intense musical journey and Hailey’s been through a lot of intense things so naturally, it seems like they’d fit together. But based on what we’ve seen in interviews, I picked Melodrama for Hailey Upton’s season 9 era because that whole album plays with the idea of what happens after.

Lorde mostly talks about the crash that happens after a party when referencing this “after” but it acts a metaphor for being on a high note (a relationship, life, careers, etc.) and then crashing down. It’s a gritty, heart-wrenching album that holds so many similarities to what Hailey’s feeling. Coming into season 9, we know she isn’t sleeping, she can’t eat, there’s guilt eating away at her over what she’s done and over having to be around Kim constantly while keeping her secret. We know she’s clinging onto Jay with this proposal, know she’s going to have this internal torment because she can’t tell any of them what happened but Jay’s starting to notice something’s wrong with her and catching on to what happened. So, without further ado, lemme just give you snippets of lyrics from various songs on Lorde’s Melodrama album that fit with different parts of Hailey’s journey— as well as the unit’s journey— going into the new season!

1. “Sober”

In Sober, Lorde writes and sings about her experience of getting a panic attack at a party (Hence, the “Oh God, I’m clean out of air // In my lungs, it’s all gone” line) but then having to act normal because of social expectations and adds the “Played it nonchalant” line. In relation to Hailey, this represents her covering her ruse even though it’s killing her inside. Then, when we move further down these lyrics, it talks about being alone with the truth and dancing with the truth— again, Hailey struggling with the truth of what she did. Then, at the end of this first verse it could almost be seen from Jay’s perspective. “I’m acting like I don’t see // Every ribbon you used to tie yourself to me” is SO similar to what Jesse Lee Soffer’s been saying in interviews about Jay not knowing if Hailey’s proposal was genuine, and also what he and Tracy have said about Hailey’s proposal being genuine but also a product of her clinging on to the one good thing in her life.

2. “Liability”

Ah, yes, finally! The best song on the Melodrama album and arguably one of Lorde’s best songs ever! She wrote this in the back of a cab about the struggle of trying to love herself and worrying she’s too much for her friends. If that’s not a Hailey Upton sentiment going into this season, I don’t know what is! Not only is this applicable to Hailey with the Roy situation but it could also be applied to 8x11 when she was scared that her baggage and trauma around being abused by her father meant she couldn’t be with Jay. Also, now that she’s done this huge, massive thing that she has to live with, it’ll make it even harder for her to love herself— and for her to consider the fact that maybe, if she was truthful about that night, her friends would still love her anyway.

3. “Homemade Dynamite”

Homemade Dynamite, according to Lorde, describes “the moment when you meet someone at a party and an explosive night follows”. Again, right off the bat you see motifs of lies vs. truth when she’s saying let’s let things come out of the woodworks. It also technically talks about being blind to rules and dreams which is perfect for the finale: Hailey was blind to her dream (because let’s be real, thinking she could stop Voight was a fantasy), and Voight was blind to the rules. And just like the song says, it’s all bound to blow up on Hailey sooner or later, like homemade dynamite.

4. “Sober ll”

I feel like I don’t even need to explain my thought process behind this one. Trauma, melodrama, gun fights, terror, horror. ALL OF THESE are key words for what Hailey’s been through and will CONTINUE to go through. “They’ll talk about us, and discover // How we kissed and killed each other” is also applicable to the synopsis about how the FBI is potentially getting involved in discerning what happened to Roy. If they do, it could launch an investigation into the entire unit which could uncover a lot— “kisses each other” being the relationship drama that happens within the unit and “killed each other” being what happened with Roy and Voight’s general track record of murdering criminals and covering it up.

5. “Writer In The Dark”

Ok this first line is pretty much the entire reason I put this section of the song into this post. “I am my mother’s child, I’ll love you ‘til my breathing stops” is very strongly representative of Hailey’s past. She was raised in a household where her mother loved an abusive man and continued to love him even through the abuse of her and her children. It’s traumatizing, sure, but it also explains why Hailey’s reaction to shooting Roy was to go home and propose to Jay. She gets that loyalty from her mother, to the point where she could even stay in situations that hurt her (like refusing to leave Voight in the warehouse). But Jay doesn’t hurt her, he loves her unconditionally too which is why Hailey would love him until her breathing stops— or until, as it proceeds to say, “‘til you call the cops on me”, which is applicable in a much more literal sense.

6. “Supercut”

Supercut is probably my personal favourite of Lorde’s songs. The buildup is beautiful and the come-down is slow and gradual. It’s the epitome of pop in my opinion. But Hailey most definitely plays that moment over in her head and in her head, she would have done the right thing that night. And maybe she’s hoping the unit (Jay especially) will forgive her for shooting Roy instead of letting it cause a fight. This whole song is about replaying moments of a relationship in your head and changing the scenario so that it plays out as if you did everything right. You won’t always do everything right though, because we’re human and make mistakes, but it’s more than plausible that Hailey’s trying to capture that feeling.

7. Liability (Reprise)

Last but not least, we’ve got the reprise for Liability! This one’s a little more generic because it’s just the general vibe of the song that fits Hailey and this PD angst so well but honestly “And all of the shit that we harbour // Make all the kids in the choir sing, “Woo-hoo” is very applicable to Hailey because she’s got a lot of baggage going into this new season. “And maybe all this is the party // Maybe we just do it violently” is another line that fits her situation so well. In addition, since Liability is one of the last songs on this album the outro of the song is almost like the absolute rock bottom reached in the journey the album tells. It could easily be compared to if/when Jay finds out about what Hailey did. (Seriously, just imagine Jay saying “you’re not what you thought you were” to Hailey and tell me that wouldn’t make you cry! In a good way OR a bad way!)

Anyway, IN CONCLUSION: Melodrama is a twisted, heartbreaking album that fits into Hailey Upton’s upcoming journey in season 9 with the Roy storyline PERFECTLY! If you have time to listen to the album— or at least the songs I mentioned— then please do because it’s SO worth it. But until then, we’re going to be in for quite the angsty ride this season when it comes to Chicago PD and personally, I can’t wait to see what they do with it!

[davids-cartoon-corkboard]

I have said a Lot about the “Raph is a system” theory over the past several months, so this is something of a compilation post. It’s got some new stuff, it’s got some old stuff. (You’re reading Part 1) (Part 2 is here) (Part 3 is here)

---

Firstly, “system” is the term for someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID. (The term can also apply to some folks with OSDD.) Someone might develop DID after experiencing long-term trauma at an early age- roughly five or six years old. To paraphrase the DSM-V:

1. We’ve seen three (possibly four) distinct personality states who speak, act, and perceive others differently.

2. The personality states, or “alters”, don’t necessarily share memory, and Donnie insinuated in “The Clothes Don’t Make the Turtle” that Raph has a bad memory in general.

3. Problems arise when alters don’t get along or aren’t on the same page. That none of them seem to be quite aware they’re a system doesn’t help either; it’s hard to work on communication and cooperation when you don’t know they need to be worked on!

4. This whole situation isn’t a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice, or just Raph playing make-believe. (Though I wonder if he had “imaginary friends” when he was younger...)

5. It’s also not because Raph’s been smoking the devil’s lettuce or whatever. “Pizza Puffs” was one long weed joke and he was the only one “sober” (not poisoned) throughout! We don’t see this happen to other mutants, so it’s not a bizarre side effect of mutagen either.

(I’ve seen a few people joke that Mikey has “multiple personalities”, but that’s a tad yikesy and also just plain incorrect. His “doctor” personas are something he does deliberately, and youngest siblings are just Like That.)

So yeah, Raph is pretty heavily DID-coded. We’ve seen four alters so far:

“Host” Raph (HR): He’s our everyday Raph. A “host” is an alter who fronts most of the time and takes care of “business as usual” situations. They are often unaware of past traumatic events, such that they can appear “normal”. (Ex: the host of a child who lives with an abusive parent could be unaware of the abuse. Otherwise, they might cry or be uncooperative whenever the parent is near, further invoking their wrath. This unawareness allows them to be a “good child”, and stay under the parent’s radar sometimes.) Some systems have more than one host, but that the others have shown up so rarely in this story suggests HR is the only host (for now?).

Savage Raph (SR): Debuting in “Man vs. Sewer”, he’s a survival-oriented alter. HR probably could have defeated the Sando Brothers on his own under normal circumstances, but being in the middle of a breakdown doesn’t do much for your fighting skills. SR got pulled to the front to deal with them instead.

“Red” Raph (RR): “Red” is just a placeholder since we don’t actually know his name yet (or even if he has one, not all alters do), though I’ve also heard folks call him “Angel”. He’s got a “tough love” approach to problem-solving, which was probably a helpful thing in the past. LDM were no doubt rowdy children! We were (officially) introduced to him in “Pizza Puffs”.

Mind Raph (MR): MR could just be a manifestation of HR's thought process via Cartoon Goofery, but that possibility doesn’t give me anything to work with so I’m ignoring it. He’s pretty similar to HR, maybe a tad more upbeat. We (officially) met him in “Raph’s Ride-Along”.

When “Pizza Puffs” first aired, I was like “ah yes, this is the alter who has the cranky edgelord tendencies we’ve seen in previous iterations of Raph. He probably broods on rooftops in the rain when he’s in a bad mood.” Combining that with the whole “Red Angel” thing gives off some Batman vibes. And, of course, SR is similar to the Hulk. Those two heroes are pretty different, but they do have one major thing in common...

A sudden, violent loss. Given how prevalent rushing water is throughout “Man vs. Sewer”, I’m thinking a flood came through and separated Raph from his family. (You could probably argue that turbulent water symbolizes a turbulent subconscious? 🤷) Again, DID stems from long-term trauma, so Raph must have been gone for... a while. A couple of months, maybe more? It’s hard to say exactly; we have a little wiggle room when applying human developmental psychology to a human/turtle mutant. Since Splinter still needed to care for the other three, he wouldn’t have been able to devote much time to searching for Raph, and the New York City sewers go on for miles and miles. The longer Raph was alone, the more convinced he would have been that the others had drowned and he was the only survivor.

How old would he have been? I know the turtles are “different ages”, but they were all mutated at the same time so I’m pretty sure Splinter was just like “the littlest one is the youngest, the biggest one is the oldest, and the medium-sized ones are the middle children.” They’re all probably fourteenish by “Finale”. Back in “MvS”, Leo said, “You know how savage Raph gets when he’s alone”. He didn’t say anything like, “You know how savage Raph gets when he’s alone ever since such-and-such an incident happened”. This suggests that LDM straight-up don’t know something traumatic happened to Raph; they were too little to retain concrete memories of that time. In their minds, Raph has always been like this. Draxum isn’t known for his patience, so even though he wasn’t able to immerse the hatchlings in mutagen for long, they probably mature a bit faster than humans. And since humans usually can’t remember anything from before four years of age, three sounds about right for the turtles, though they would have been stronger and steadier on their feet than any human toddler. I doubt Raph would have survived otherwise.

I think he’s sort of... “stuck” back in that trauma. Catching food, building a fire, making a weapon, and getting camouflage aren’t the behaviors of someone who’s only been gone for a few minutes.

When SR called for help, I don’t think he was expecting anyone to answer.

But Raph did manage to hang onto something as he was swept away! It wasn’t much, but that little ragdoll gave him comfort while he was scared and alone.

(The rabbit design on Bruce’s pajamas is probably a coincidence, but...)

Raph seems the type to have sympathy for odd-looking toys. His knockoff Mrs. Cuddles plushie was the emotional crutch he needed back then.

And then he was separated from that as well. Lowkey associating Mrs. Cuddles with this traumatic event would explain why HR was so scared of her. That he doesn’t remember the trauma means he has no context for this fear, making it seem silly and baseless to him (and to the rest of his family), which is why he denied being scared at all in the first part of the “Mrs. Cuddles” episode. It would also explain why he collects teddy bears instead these days, they are a “safe” toy. (The moral of the story is to not make fun of triggers that seem silly.)

(I wonder what would happen if Mrs. Cuddles encountered Savage Raph? Perhaps he’d be quite sympathetic towards such a lonely little raggedy thing! Timestuck as he is, he probably wouldn’t question why a stuffed animal can talk... and it wouldn't be hard for her to persuade her “new bestest fwiend” to get rid of some “mean ol’ nasty sewew monstews” for her.)

That whole “sewer monsters” thing suggests Raph ran into... something while he was wandering alone. Y’all have heard those rumors about alligators living in the New York City sewers, right? Encountering Leatherhead could trigger a flashback.

It would be pretty easy to introduce Leatherhead into the narrative. One of the episodes the Rise crew had planned was titled “The Island of Dr. Noe”, and alligators have very impressive teeth. The Mirage comics had a story where Leatherhead and several cryptids were brought to an island to be hunted for sport.

Noe seems to have quite a few cronies/friends/rivals he could entertain this way. Since he’s got that obsession with Raph, Noe captures him as well, knocking him out with those darts so he can’t waste his energy trying to escape too soon. (Let’s just assume everyone’s powers are glitchy because they all hit another wave of puberty, meaning they can’t just curbstomp the lower-level villains lol.)

HR wakes up on the island and, of course, starts to panic because he’s lost and alone. While wandering, he runs into Leatherhead, which would trigger a flashback to getting attacked by that alligator all those years ago. But Leatherhead doesn’t want to fight! He’s just as scared and confused as HR is, and could really use a partner to help him survive this island.

HR and SR come into conflict because Leatherhead is/isn’t/is/isn’t/is/isn’t a threat. HR eventually wins out, reasoning that even if Leatherhead is that alligator, it wouldn’t be fair to judge him for what he did back when he was an animal.

But time and dissociation can make memories unclear. That our first look at Leatherhead was in Draxum’s “bluh bluh I’m gonna mutate all the humans” bit in “Bug Busters” means he’s a human-base mutant. He wasn’t the alligator back then, but the hunter tracking it. Leatherhead isn’t one of Noe’s targets, he is one of Noe’s guests! And he wants no one to interfere with his quarry, so he’ll play nice long enough for him and the snapper to take out the rest of the hunters and the freaks. Then the two of them will have the island all to themselves...

Years and years ago, Jack Marlin was a big game hunter prowling the New York City sewers in search of an alligator. He did manage to find and kill one, only to realize it had also been hunting! He had inadvertently saved the strangest little turtle creature.

Marlin had become too skilled at this point, the hunt held no challenge for him. This turtle sounded very young, and he was quite big and strong already. An adult could be tough and intelligent enough to entertain him. Marlin tried to get Raph to lead him back to “the others”. But Raph had been lost for some time, and as far as he knew, his family was dead. Hearing that put Marlin in quite the sour mood. A little mutant snapper is a better catch than none at all, so Marlin tried to haul Raph off. Raph fought back and bit off Marlin’s hand. He escaped, but lost his rabbit in the scuffle. Marlin retreated as well, taking some time to recover, scheme, and hunt other game. (And to pocket that rabbit. The blood loss had made him woozy, and he wanted to have some kind of proof he hadn’t just hallucinated the snapper.) Perhaps he turned that alligator’s hide into a vest, which provided the genetic material for his mutation when he eventually got bit by an oozesquito. Like his Mirage counterpart, Marlin didn’t take losing a limb as a sign he should retire, and instead got a tricked-out prosthetic. Who knows what he could do with it in such a mystic setting as Rise.

Raph eventually reunited with his family, but those distrustful, high-strung survivalist traits he had picked up weren’t helpful anymore. He once again had to be the good and patient big brother who didn’t bite when someone play-tackled him or shook him awake at three in the morning because they’d had a nightmare. Those two states gradually got partitioned off more and more, and now they know little, if anything, about each other.

So Leatherhead and HR are chasing away some mothmen or whatever, and things are going pretty well... until one of them knocks Leatherhead over and a familiar ragdoll rabbit falls out of his pocket. SR realizes that Leatherhead is Marlin and switches in to fight him off again. They’re evenly matched, or perhaps SR is even in danger of losing, when LDM arrive to provide support. Leatherhead is enough of a tactician to know that he should retreat. Donnie and Mikey pursue him while Leo stays behind, placing the rabbit in his stunned brother’s hands. “Remember when Pops made this for you? You were always really gentle with it, ‘cause he wasn’t good at sewing back then...”

(This thing really needs patching up, he’s got sewing stuff for whenever he needs to fix his bears/Blue isn’t a threat on his own/Wasn’t he just back at the lair?/Blue gave back the rabbit/Why does he feel like he got hit by a train?/Blue doesn’t want to fight?/ ...Leo?) And that’s enough for HR to switch back in. He’s probably missing memory from his whole time on the island, so while Leo does his best to tell him what happened, they don’t have enough puzzle pieces between them to truly figure out what's going on.

They defeat the bad guys, release the cryptids, save the day, etc. (Leatherhead managed to lose Donnie and Mikey in the woods. A battle for another day.) Once they return to the lair, HR gets help from Draxum to modify the memory spell from “E-Turtle Sunshine” so he can try to fill in the gaps. Surely he wouldn’t get rejected by his own subconscious... right?

Cue part three in the saga of Raph Punches Himself In The Face. SR isn’t happy that HR is essentially trying to poke at an improperly-healed wound, and attempts to chase him off. HR assumes that SR is just a psychic white blood cell like the Lou Jitsu constructs in Splinter’s mind, and retaliates.

But, of course, fighting is not the answer here. All that accomplishes is giving the body bruises. Eventually HR realizes “stay away” and “back off” are a little different than “get out”, and that SR is just scared. So HR tries another tactic. Over the following days and weeks, he tunes in to calmer memories and just sort of... talks. About what happened yesterday, about his teddy bear collection, about how he finally managed to get a good picture of that pizza pigeon. It takes a while to establish a connection, and even then, it’s spotty at best. Using the spell too much can cause headaches and nightmares. There are days when SR is nearby, and days when he’s not there at all. But he shows up when he can.

And then there’s awkward, stilted conversation and questions neither of them know how to answer and questions neither of them want to answer and more scrapes and bruises and strained silences and apologies, but they finally, finally reach a compromise. SR still doesn’t let HR near those memories, but he tells HR what happened as best he can. (The audience would see those memories, with SR as a voiceover.) Afterwards, HR still visits the mindscape that’s starting to become more solid. They talk some more, they watch light and shadow flow around them, they listen to half-forgotten lullabies on scratchy old cassette tapes. Eventually, HR doesn’t even need to use the memory spell, meditation is enough.

They’ll never get along all the time. But it’s a start.

(SR is going to be so clingy when it finally clicks for him when he finally lets himself believe that his family is alive.)

---

This took eight million years lmao. Parts 2 and 3 will come out eventually, they’ll focus more on MR and RR. Let me know if I need to tag this stuff as anything.

The usual disclaimer applies, I am not a system or a mental health professional so if you’re one or both of those things then feel free to give me some of that good good constructive criticism.

[1-800-roflmao]

SIPHONEM "BIRDS OF PARADISE" INFO POST

This is a post with general info about my fictional race. It will be updated/editted as needed. This is not a character sheet or character background post, but there are tidbits about my two angels so far.

What are “Birds of Paradise”?

Birds of Paradise, or Siphonem, are a tier of angel specifically made up of restless souls that feel they are not ready to move on, whatever that may entail.  Usually these souls have died suddenly, unexpectedly, and often traumatically, but not always.  Their restlessness stems from trouble processing that they are in fact dead and everything that implies.  

If the soul cannot be soothed by a guide then they are offered a purpose and temporary relief.  Their memory will not be wiped, but better put, a film will be put over it.  Something to dull the impact of their death, but not let them forget completely who they are.  They are given a new form with their new status as an angel.

Their main job is collecting “energy,” which is mostly used to keep them going, fuel their powers, but a portion is siphoned off to other realms.  This energy is collected indirectly from the emotions of beings, but is actually excess magic from their souls that surfaces when emotions spike.  There is no difference in potency in energy collected from conventionally considered positive or negative emotions, but the angel needs to keep in mind the empathetic effect it will have on them.  

Example: energy/magic derived from happiness will in turn fill the angel with happiness, and energy/magic derived from sorrow will drown them in that same level of sorrow.

Depending on the angel, they may or may not be able to handle the wave of feelings.

Their second job is running and completing minor missions for the Lords.  Lords are simply the overseers of different realms in the afterlife.

Why were the Siphonem established?

The Lords decided to kill two birds with one stone, empty Limbo that was becoming too full and solve the power crisis they were experiencing.  A bonus was that the more capable Siphonem could be trusted with missions and tasks after the power situation stabilized. 

Siphonem permanence?

For the majority of Siphonem, they will eventually feel a sense of fulfilment and contentment and choose to finally move on.  This “moving on” is unique to the individual, but they will all leave behind a flowering plant once they pass.  They can also choose to remain as a Sipho and possibly climb the tiers.   

Does collecting energy/magic affect the collectee’s emotional state?  

Yes and no.  Yes, it technically does as the angel is essentially taking on some of the burden.  No, since depending on the emotion and the amount collected, it may not even be noticeable.  The tapping is usually less noticeable with positive emotions, but not always, as some angels can get greedy and addicted to the high that comes with those collections.  With negative emotions, it is usually more noticeable as the odd relief and calm sets in with the edge taken off thanks to the collection.  Plus, a suddenly sobbing or roaring angel is just a bit shocking and can pull anyone out of a funk or fit. 

Why “Bird of Paradise”?

When this tier of angel was first formed, they were called Sipho (sih-fuh), or Siphonem plural. They were compared to succubi and incubi since the first few waves found the easiest way to connect with a being and cause an emotional spike was through an orgasm.  It was around wave three that they were given their nickname, “Bird of Paradise” by humans.  

One angel didn’t quite convince their collectee that they were just a nice dream after said human got a very good view of their silhouette flying off after a night of fun.  Said human started the mythos of birds with plumes that outshine even the sun.  The sun grew jealous of the bird’s vibrant plumes and struck them down, bound their wings and forced them to take a mortal form.  These beings wander until they find someone who can unbind their wings.  You both will find your own “paradise” in a successful unbinding.  And of course, as the story was passed around, others began recalling their own experiences and putting their own spins, but the original tale is the favorite amongst humans. The myth grew and the name stuck.

With all human myths and stories told over generations, there are derivatives and conspiracies.  Tame beliefs that you have been blessed and should expect good things in life after meeting a bird of paradise.  Dangerous beliefs that a Bird of Paradise’s “feathers” or blood could grant you immeasurable power or immortality (despite the fact that Siphonem do not have feathers, but they can bleed a substance called ambrosia that does have healing properties, but no immortality fulfilment).  

Explaining Siphonem’s Halo

Alternatively called their crest or crown.  Those are not feathers, but they are featherlike in how soft they are and in general appearance.  The reason they do not count as feathers? They lack the anatomy for them as there is no hollow shaft or vane or any other parts like an actual feather would have <this allows for Sipho to style their halos into ponytails, braids, updos, et cetera>.  Its closest comparison is a fur stole, but fluffier and longer.  They are extremely flexible and can be flared or flattened depending on their mood. You can tell when a sipho has recently collected energy as their halo will be tinted with the color of their collectee’s aura/magic.  

Why is it called a Halo?  

When they flare it fully purposely, it gives the appearance of a “halo” as it along with their eyes and markings will glow.  This appearance usually is used for intimidation and sometimes they will flare fully while collecting.  If a Sipho is sporting this look outside feeding, consider your soul damned.

Explaining Siphonem’s Wings

Most Siphonem rarely use their wings due to the nature of them.  They are light, but with mass.  This makes them no where near stealthy.  They do not blind the Sipho, but anyone else looking at them will have some retina damage if they don’t have protection.  If someone was wearing protection and looked, they would notice their wings take the form of several floating polygonal structures.  Touching them wouldn’t seem harmful at first, just hard and cool, but you’d find you have blisters later.  Do not touch their wings. Do not look at them directly.  Not that a Sipho would give you the chance.  

Siphonem can float!

Floating is simply the Siphonem not falling.  This means there is no movement while floating unless they have built up momentum or applied force.  So, they would have to hop, jump, push, or get a running start, or possibly use something to help propel them.  

Fun facts!  

They use their float ability simultaneously with their wings to fly. 

Siphonem have fur.  Some more than others, like Impes, who has a very fluffy upper chest.

Siphonem do not have to have sex with you to feed. They can simply vibe with you after the initial connection is made through an emotion spike, like heartbreak, surprise, excitement, or fear.

Siphonem are naturals at helping those who have excess/built-up magic and are usually perfectly willing to take it off your hands.

Siphonem can sense other Siphonem.  They are usually not territorial, but there are the odd few who are.  

Siphonem can feed off or share energy with each other if needed.  This does not require an emotional spike and is usually only done in emergencies or special circumstances.

Siphonem can summon weapons/items based on the magic/energy they last collected or one item that has meaning to them <Impes and his bat>.  

Siphonem’s given name are all Latin and their old human name is considered their “dead name.”  Some Siphonem, like Mikael, do not remember what their dead name was.

[straighttohellbuddy]

i saw and i miss that universe, demon!reader my beloved 🥰 it’s honestly such a good universe and i still laugh at human!ranboo just going with demon!reader’s shit and thy in turn help him to pretend he’s some kind of cryptid to wind up his friends (mainly tommy) and the fans. and ugH. Just. their interactions kinda brain rot. i’m in a type of mood for overprotective stuff so the idea of demon!reader having to protect ranboo when they’re being shits together because whoops this kind of hellhound isn’t good for humans and i’ve already told the others thst ive had you for two days and i’d kill anyone who hurts you and then Myself™️. i am slightly sleep deprived but brain go brr and i’m ready-reading stuff now 🥺-🐈‍⬛

I love the idea of human!Ranboo and demon!reader having interactions on twitter, and mutual friends, and like, would definitely consider each other friends, but for the longest time their schedules never align to actually properly meet each other online, so the reader initially definitely believes he is a cryptid, and ranboo knows that the reader is a talented musician and incredibly successful and yeah they can be chaotic but he doesn't believe half the things people say about them because that can't actually be something they said, right?

meanwhile the first vc they're ever in together, ranboo joins right as the reader and quackity are arguing at the top of their lungs about which of them was more likely to shelve the world's tiniest violin - ("Okay but I can almost guarantee whoever currently owns the world's tiniest violin is more likely to give it to me than to you -!" / "Not if I learn how to make a violin so I can make the world's tiniest violin -!" / "It'll be the world's second tiniest violin because the tiniest violin will be up my ass, Quackity, and then you can play your shit second-smallest violin because you lost.") to which Ranboo is like WTF is this and Tommy explains how you'd complained about being tired and Quackity played a clip of a sad violin and told you he was playing you the world's tiniest violin, and you told him where he could shove the world's tiniest violin, and well, it all went downhill from there... which is about the time when ranboo realises that YES you are successful and talented, but you're also chaotic as all fuck and all the stories are true.

okay but why do i love the idea of q & reader's potential friendship being such a strange dynamic, like they genuinely get along very very well and really like each other as people, HOWEVER they have a very stupid bit which they somehow managed to come up with without ever really talking about it, which is that if anyone asks an opinion-based question, the reader and quackity will immediately have passionate and opposing opinions that they will loudly defend.

eg. Dream, knowing about these dumbasses and feeling like there was too much of a lull in the conversation: What's the worst multiple of 4? Phil, exhausted already: come on man - Quackity, immediately with his whole chest: 12 Reader: I knew you were stupid, but Jesus Fucking Christ, dude, 12? You really going to say that when 48 exists?

but also reader being all fond on stream when they talk about how much they've been enjoying writing music with Q, and how they think it's so cool that he's studying law, and generally hyping him up when chat brings him up. and if they find themselves on line at strange hours at the same time they'll have an impromptu hang out and we get a sweet, acoustic snippet of Sing-Along-Song with q on guitar, and q ends up rambling about the reader being a talented song writer and content creator and it's all just v :) :) :)

but jumping back to ranboo and the reader, i love the idea of a genre of tweet from Tommyinnit known as 'places ranboo is sometimes' which consists of screen shots of messages between ranboo and tommy, with a selfie from ranboo somewhere he definitely shouldn't be, like up tall trees, or sitting on top of the london eye (for only a few moments, enough time to take a selfie), or on a solitary rock in the middle of a lake while he's somehow completely dry, and tommy always responds with a very unflattering, bewildered selfie.

-- okay but, the idea of the reader and wilbur hanging out with the bench trio and, like, tommy's vlogging or something, and near the end of the day as its starting to get dark and they're trying to head home, they start to get approached by people with Bad Vibes, you know. and the kids and wilbur and the reader just wanna get away and not be hassled, but one of the assholes realises he kinda recognises them and won't let them be, and between the kids Tommy is the only one with like, an offensive supernatural capabilities but he's also a good kid and doesn't want to hurt anyone even if they're an asshole and he's trying to do the right thing and just ignore it. but also wilbur and the reader put themselves between the kids and the assholes, and are trying to set a good example. until 'hey i know you, aren't you some kind of siren?' accompanied by a mocking laugh, and a something hits the back of the reader's head, just a little piece of litter but still. and the kids are each trying to formulate some sort of plan to protect the reader, who's stopped dead and is not longer willing to put up with this shit.

"kindly fuck off," the reader turns and finally faces the assholes. behind them, wilbur is standing in front of the boys. his hands are glowing.

"what's a little siren going to do? you're the type to carry around fancy cameras and act like you've got a chip on your shoulder, until something bigger and scarier than you comes along -"

"i wouldn't know what a siren would do because I'm Not A Siren, so I'm going to ask you once more to fuck off," the way your eyes go black scares the shit out of them, the way your tail flicks menacingly is enough to have them stepping back; some are humans, some are supernatural, none of them pose any real threat.

as the assholes scatter, you turn back, and see the intensity in wilbur's eyes and the subtle hand movement's he's making, and you give him a tired, grateful smile.

"shoulda taken a taxi, sorry guys."

"What The Fuck Was That, Guys, What The Fuck?" Tommy, trying not to freak out about what just happened because yeah You and Wilbur kind of have vibes of being more powerful/capable than you appear but seeing it in action is a whole other thing.

so of course the only thing you can think of to do is put on a Godfather-esque accent and act as if you're a mafia boss promising them protection as long as they're with you. it lightens the mood considerably, but all three of the boys seem to look at you and wilbur in a different, kind of grateful light every once in a while, though they never bring it up again.