#where the eponymous character behaves like that in a vienna bath

[lactodebillus-bulgaricus]

oh banya oh kef banyata v anhialo golyam kef

apparently in 584, the avars took over anchialus (this is modern-day pomorie) and there were baths with warm mineral water that they rlly enjoyed (especially the khagan's wives) also the khagan found the robe of the empress of the eastern roman empire that she had donated to a monastery and put it on, not knowing what it was yeah it must've been real fun hanging with these guys

so what I imagine:

avar khaganate: *enjoys the baths* *stays in the warm water pools* *has closed his eyes in pleasure, as if he's asleep* *overall chills and relaxes*

bulgar: *stands at the edge of the pool* *stares at the pool beneath with a shocked face, as if he's standing on a tall rock over the sea* *then he looks up, pretending to be afraid, and cries "TANGRA PLEASE HELP ME", which prompts avar to open his eyes and look at him, surprised* *bulgar jumps into the pool* *water erupts and sprays everybody, including avar* *there are also waves as if there's a seastorm in the pool*

for a few seconds, he's underwater. then he steps on the floor and pokes his head out of the water. he then starts to laugh at everyone's uncomfortable or shocked faces and splash water with his arms.

avar: EY BULGAR

he yells at bulgar to chill and stop spraying water everywhere but bulgar can't hear him, for now he's swimming & imitating different ships, jumping in the pool and dipping his head underneath

bulgar: WHAT ARE SAYING AVAR? THAT U WANNA SEE HOW THE DROMON GOES? HERE LOOK *proceeds to swim and spray water everywhere*

(dromon - a byzantine galley warship)

avar: *tries to shield his face from the water*

but bulgar decides that this isn't enough fun. no, he wants everyone at the bath to know him. he wants to stand out. he's extremely proud of himself and he wants people to know that. he climbs out of the pool...

'thank goodness!' avar thinks cuz he legit believes that bulgar is leaving the pool... oh, he wished...

bulgar proceeds to stand at the edge of the pool. then he beats his chest, yelling 'BULGAR! BULGAR!'

he jumps into the pool again, with water splashing everyone again.

avar: THATS IT IM LEAVING

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later, outside of the baths

the khagan, to bulgar: tnx for making him leave he's been there since breakfast I was worried he's gonna dissolve into the water :D