#where the characters’ truamas no longer define them

[mamaclownhunter]

Hello this is an Shang Quinghua post and I am,,,

I love him your honor-

Now! This is my own personal head canon but I do think there is more then one reason SPECIFICALLY airplane is Shang Quinghua.

And I think there is some actual character parallels from OG to Airplane. Just like how I stand on the hill that if Shen Yuan lived Shen Jiu’s life he would be Shen Jiu.

I do think Shang Quinghuas have similar quirks, traits, and-

To tie back to the original post- I imagine if they aren’t that different- OG might feel seen.

Hell- even if they are wildly different people- airplane is OG’s maker!! He knows this character well enough (bc he knows characters better than anything) he knows why this character is the way he is and no doubt laments.

He knows why OG was so viciously ambitious. He knows why he went to Mobei. He knows why Shang Quinghua died.

For someone canonically over looked (at least) and hated and just a spy- he is seen for so much more by someone who is not that much different from him

He knows this character. He knows this man he stole the body from as well as he knows the world he made-

What if what if OG breaks airplane’s system the cycle Shen Yuan joins?

When things start to change and look for the better Airplane is always pulled by his “system” trying to sabotage him and Mobei. It is trying to get Mobei in situations and is taking full advantage in the fact Luo Binghe isn’t as focused on being emperor let alone having Mobei’s back?

No airplane’s system is a possessed soul of someone who is hungry, who is ambitious and smart and yearns for what he wants, but unlike Luo Binghe- all he has is his wits and subterfuge knowledge trying to untangle and have his beloved all for himself. Because he has lived a thousand lives and seen all the scenarios played through all the romances and decided.

He is calculating and the only reason he isn’t wildly succeeding is the same reason he has the power to do anything in the first place.

The plot has changed.

AU where OG Shang Qinghua dies at Mobei's hands but instead of being reincarnated he is sent back to live his life over. Only at the last minute he's shoved out of his body a different soul take his place

He can see it's unwilling

Can see the system's shackles on this person's soul

Watches them live through his life and try to fix his mistakes but fail

He dies at Mobei's hands

They repeat the cycle and while this strange soul that OG Shang Qinghua has been unwillingly tethered to repeats the life he doesn't remember any of it

OG Shang Qinghua watches his doppelganger replay their life. Sees how he always falls for Mobei only to die by his hands. The fact that sometimes Mobei loves him back and the death is an accident or by someone else doesn't matter

Along the way he goes from disgust and pity to admiration and love

Eventually he figures out how to break the system, replace it's shackles for his own

His beloved can finally see him and he can control the memory wipes. Show him the truth that he wants

Convince him to give up on the demon who will always betray him

To become his and his alone

Doesn't matter that this time the demon seems like he won't kill his Qinghua. That he seems to be behaving

It doesn't matter

What matters is that listens that his soft alter ego trusts him above all else

[linkspooky]

Hello ! Can i ask you what you thought, When Mikasa gave up saving Armin in the serumbowl fight. I just find it unpleasant. Mikasa has always been loyal And determined to save the people she loves, So seeing her giving up that easily after what Hange told her, When Hange herself knew that Erwin would be useless once his dream is fulfilled, and really wanted her friend to live, Just seems off.Isn't Armin and Eren the most important people to her I hope i am not bothering you And have a nice day

Mikasa wasn’t giving up, she was practicing acceptance. If by your logic Mikasa deciding to accept that Armin might die and she cannot hold onto him forever is unpleasant, then Levi’s decision to let Erwin die is equally unpleasant. However, in both cases as Levi and Mikasa are both foils who are defined by the deep attachments they have for other people I would say this reflects character growth in both of them. 

I don’t think Mikasa’s decision to let go was against her character at all. In fact it’s a sign of character growth. Mikasa’s primary conflict has always been about how she wants to protect her small family unit. She doesn’t understand why both the world, and Eren himself don’t seem to want to let her have that. 

Ever since Trost Mikasa has grappled with this problem. She wants to protect Eren, but he won’t accept her protection. He will always choose to push her away and fight on his own. Mikasa’s continued desire to be close has the opposite effect of pushing him away and creating distance between the two of them. 

It’s important to remember that while Mikasa is a person who cares deeply about the people around her, and the connections she forms with others are everything to her, she also is immature in the way she handles her own feelings. 

Mikasa’s desire to stay with her family forever is a child’s dream. It makes sense she would feel that way, Mikasa is a child soldier, and also an orphan who lost not only her family, but her adoptive family in traumatic circumstances and both times she was completely powerless to do anything about it. Not only that but the lesson Mikasa learned from Eren is specifically that she has to fight back at times like this or she’ll lose everything. 

So Mikasa misconstrues her desire to love and nurture the others around her as a desire to physically protect them instead. If she’s strong she won’t have to lose those people. Eren and Mikasa have always had a very frought and flawed connection because Eren because of who he is cannot receive love, and Mikasa cannot give it properly because they are both too afraid of losing one another they don’t know how to value each other when they are together. 

The rawest expression of Mikasa’s feelings will always be chapter 50, and it’s a simple sentiment. Eren doesn’t need to be strong to be with her, Mikasa doesn’t need to be the one who protects him. It was enoguh that they were simply together. She just wanted to be with Eren. Mikasa’s quest to become strong enough that she never has to lose those people again almost made her lose out on the reason why she was with those people in the first place, because they made her happy, because she loved them. etc. 

Hange’s speech isn’t telling Mikasa that she needs to sacrifice her loved ones for the sake of the world. It’s telling her to accept loss which is a part of healthy love. If you’re too focused on losing a person you can’t enjoy them when you are together. 

It’s not Mikasa giving up her central motivation as a character. Eren and Armin will always be important to her. However, it’s her re-evaluating those feelings in a more healthy light. Literally not matter what Mikasa did that day Armin was going to die sooner or later. Mikasa had the choice to keep trying to cling to Armin, or try to accept that one day she might lose him, but she’ll still be able to move on because she had the memories of her time with him still. 

And this isn’t something Mikasa can fight against no matter how strong she gets. Mikasa can’t stop the fact that people die one way or another eventually. By clinging to them she can’t properly enjoy the time she does have with them. This has been a part of her arc all the way since Trost. 

Even if Eren or Armin died they don’t disappear from this world. Mikasa’s acceptance isn’t her giving up on the memories of the two people most important to her, it’s her reflecting on how Armin would not want her to give up on living just because she lost him. 

Levi and Mikasa both grew from Hange’s speech. What I’m talking about is not the practical aspect where Hange argues that Erwin is the better leader, but the personal decision that Levi and Mikasa both made. I think a lot of people don’t recognize that in the end Serum Bowl was an extremely personal decision not a practical one. 

What reached Mikasa and Levi about Hange’s speech is the personal element that spoke to them. Levi and Mikasa who have both lost so many of those precious connections and don’t know why they are the ones who always get left behind and continue surviving. They both made a decision that they can still treasure their loved ones even if they let have to let go. 

Levi makes the decision to think about what Erwin’s own feelings are, rather than Levi’s feelings of not wanting to lose him. He was able to better understand Erwin as a person because he let go rather than making the choice that would allow him to stay by his side longer. 

And we see this happening to Mikasa in the final arc as well. She’s the first one to truly realize and accept that the Eren she saw wasn’t the real Eren.

As a result of clinging to Eren for so long Mikasa is unaware of her own feelings, and she also cannot see him properly. She only wants to be next to him but she cannot give a voice as to why she wants that. 

Eren and Mikasa are each other’s most important connection, but it’s because they’re so afraid of losing one another that neither of them thinks too deeply about what theirs or the others feelings are. They try to be satisfied with just being near each other, but that’s the same as loving from a distance. Neither one of them can think about what their true feelings are, because it would hurt more if they admitted they loved this person. What if they loved them and then they lost them? 

Eren and Mikasa both desperately wnat that closeness but at the same time they fear it. They suffer from the same truama, they lost their family so suddenly under uncontrolled circumstances. To them, the absolute worst thnig is to be that child again who watches helplessly as their loved ones get torn away from them. That’s why they choose not to love. It would hurt worse if it was love. They choose instead to fight instead of love. 

They are fighting for that closeness, but ultimately they can’t have it because to be close means to be vulnerable, it means to accept the idea that you might be hurt. Eren can’t possibly comprehend what Mikasa sees in him because he doesn’t see any reason for anyone to love him. Mikasa herself cannot admit that she loves him because she’s spent so long chasing after him she never stops to think about the why. Eren runs, Mikasa chases, and it’s the only way that these two know how to be close. What Mikasa fears the most is exactly what Eren tells her in “Ignorance”, him saying “He’s always hated her”. Which is why she cannot evaluate her own feelings, because imagine finally figuring out she’s loved him after all of these years only to be rejected by him in the end. He can reject her love but he can’t reject her protection so she chooses to protect instead. 

Mikasa does love Eren and Armin, but she also has to mature to the point where she can love them even if they separate from her. That’s what Mikasa’s decision was about in Serum Bowl, accepting that she might lose Armin but continuing to love him anyway even if it made her vulnerable to getting hurt.