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tactyl-ymon · 4 years ago

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DnD session recap - Storms and Sadness

Another 2 sessions in one recap in what continues to be my Clerics no good week from hell. Whole lot of emotions in this one, so fairly warned be ye. There’s two links to additional in game notes and things for some context to help flesh out stuff.

We started out hurtling down a mountain in our carriage under a heavy unnatural storm, being pursued by many demons and one of the horses snaps it's leg and the carriage tips. Eridol gets thrown into a tree and spends the next several hours heavily injured. Veiraen cuts off 3 of his fingers trying to butcher the horse for food. We manage to right the carriage and just before setting off Eridol gets the idea to leave a distraction behind by stuffing his old chain mail with a sack of rice and casting light on it which is just enough to distract the literal horde of flying demons long enough for them to make it to Eridols home town and the contingent of guards waiting along with Eridol’s mum... and his fiancé, Sutha ... and his clerical mentor, Bradul Septima sees Sutha first with his 2000 passive perception and recognises her both because Eridol just talked about her and because Eridol subconsciously uses her image as a spiritual guardian. He and Whisky start yelling "Oh you’re Sutha, Eridols fiance. He's over here. He's right here on the carriage" Sutha comes over to the still very hurt and exhausted Eridol and picks him up in a big crushing hug before asking how he could just leave like that, 4 years without a word and then show up out of the blue with these strangers going on about demons. Eridol apologises but says that this isn't the time to talk about this ... Which goes about as well as you could expect and Sutha throws him down and walks off. Eridol and his mentor briefly talk about how him coming back means things will need to be answered for and that the military will come looking for him and that he can't keep running which Eridol kind of flatly mentions he knows and that's part of why he's here. Everyone gets to meet Eridols parents which goes awfully because literally nobody in the group knows how to talk to people. Veiraen immediately introduces himself as his dad, Whisky grabs photo albums and starts giggling at baby photos and Septima goes all snitchbot and tells everyone about all the things that have happened to Eridol the past year. This commotion gets Eridols dads attention and he comes down and is immediately hard core racist towards Veiraen which Eridol is having none of and threatens to throw him through a window if he starts shit again. Big "I'm gay and stronger than you" energy from the boy. Eridol goes to sit outside to try and collect his thoughts and after a bit Septima comes out and silently sits next to him in the pouring rain. Then the demons show back up, perched on top of the carriage and screech some guttural thing that everyone in 120ft hears in their mind Having been seen the demon flies away and Septima has the idea of asking Eridol who else does he care about that might be taken to get to him and he says just Sutha. Septima animorphs into a direwolf to try and find her scent and is led upstairs to Eridols old room that she was apparently staying in but gosh darn it the door is locked. Guess how long it stays that way with Veiraen around? After a mild amount of breaking and entering, Septima picks up her scent again and takes off with Whisky to try and bodyguard Sutha. Veiraen takes a look around the newly available room and instantly zeros in on the old yellowed note that Eridol left Sutha before he ran away, a note that she had read every day to try and understand and like a bastard, Veiraen read it to himself and then just put it back so nobody would know Septima and Whisky track down Sutha in a bar several blocks away and they bond over how Eridol runs away from things and Septima pipes up saying that since he's known Eridol he hasn't run away from things and has been trying to make the world a better place and then the absolute worst thing happens. Sutha quietly asks them if Eridol came back for her, Septima being unable to read a situation says "No, he brought us here to try and find information from the religious archives" and Whisky says "would you really want him to come back for you?" So Sutha gets up to leave the bar and very clearly says for them not to follow her. They follow her. Sutha gets ready to shoot them with her crossbow and says again not to take another step towards her, she just needs time to process things. Septima takes a step towards her as Whisky is asking that they just want to make sure the people Eridol cares about are safe. Crossbow goes off and because Sutha is a military trained artillerist, the resulting explosion leaves an earth shattering kaboom in the night air. The lingering smoke parts and the crumpled unconscious bodies of Septima and Whisky barely cling to life in the city’s newest pot hole. Eridol and Sutha have a very emotional conversation over all the things he's done wrong, all the things he's trying to do better, how he had to learn how to be a person again and that he always loved her but understands why she would hate him and even if it were just for a few days he wanted her to stay here, so she could at least be safe, he'll stay away if that's what she wanted and then he tries to give her back their wedding ring and says that there is too much happening at the moment but that Eridol genuinely hoped that they could have another chance after all this was finished. Sutha stares down at the tiny man bearing his soul and it just isn't enough and Sutha says to keep it and leaves the house in a rush. In the hastily emptied room Eridol finds an old blueprint of his that she had scribbled on years ago, saying how much she loved his mind. Then morning comes and Eridol tries something. He casts detect magic on himself to try and figure out how those demons were able to track them and the brand on his side lights up like Christmas. Shades of divination, necromancy, abjuration and something else Eridol can't recognise. With that confirmed, Eridol tries something else much stupider in hindsight. He casts dispel magic on the brand. Immediate agony and the boy is unconscious Everyone hears the scream and the distinct sound of a tiny gnome falling down and runs upstairs to find Eridol white as a sheet but still breathing and the brand on his side changed from an open hand to looking curled in like it was grasping something Eridols mentor dumps a massive heal into him and Eridol tells them about what he was trying to do. Septima asks Eridol if it would be alright to try again and with a shaky nod Eridol casts death ward on himself and they try again. Septima calls on his connection to the green to help strengthen their cause and it is not enough and they all hear a very distinctly not Eridol sounding voice come out of the tiny man "By my will, you do my bidding" The brand itself twisting on Eridols side to reach out and grab Septimas arm, black goo numbly racing up past Septimas elbow before shuddering to a halt, his own will just enough to beat the influence and stop a second mark of bane appearing. The group knew about soul bound curses beforehand but one straight from a god sure is something else Stabilised and conscious Eridol asks if they not do that again for a bit and the group discusses options. Obviously this whole demon cult needs to die no matter what Eridol says about greater evils and priorities but they would like to wait a day so Eridol can get his strength back. Eridol does not like this idea, reasoning that the demons already know where they are and the quicker they can make it to the religious city the safer everyone will be while they do research into things. The group wants Eridols parents to come, but the boy knows they won't, his mother has too much work left to do and his dad is way too racist to survive the journey sitting next to Veiraen but ultimately it's their choice. His mother comes in and basically says how he is incapable of letting them through the walls around his heart and they won't go with him

While Eridol lays in bed dealing with the fallout of the last several minutes he begins writing a letter, about an hour later, everyone experiences the telltale sound of of wood and metal tearing itself apart from out in the harbour as an impossibly familiar ship appears from a rip in space, followed by a tidal wave and several finned monstrosities. The ship and all of it’s crew, including the recently departed rogue Emmi and her mother, Sharona, collide with the nearly empty dock. In the minutes it takes everyone to run down to the docks, the ship is heavily damaged by a duo of hydras that had followed them through an arcane gate.

The battle is fierce and several sailors are lost before the hydra fall, discussions are had about how the hell Emmi and her mother are here as they left on a boat half the world away like a week ago. Emmi points to a keystone her father had found ages before he disappeared that since being reconnected to the prime material plane allowed them to shift to the elemental plane of water but it had also brought this continent spanning storm with them that had been causing issues since they had left. They’ll be out of the way once the ship gets repaired and take their surviving crew to a nearby tavern to drink their sorrows and remaining brain cells away. The group makes their way back to Eridols old home, mostly empty as his parents had left to their respective jobs. Everyone piles into the living room and attempts to make themselves comfortable as Eridol trudges back up to his old room he shared with Sutha, stopping outside as he hears the frantic scribbling of quill on parchment. After a tense moment, they share a weak laugh about having the same idea and Eridol brings out the letter he had penned maybe an hour ago. Sutha reads it quietly, never looking at Eridol before collecting the rest of her things and marching downstairs, singling out Veiraen and handing him the letter before quickly hugging the drow and asking that he look after Eridol. The moment ends as abruptly as it began and Sutha leaves for parts unknown, leaving Veiraen holding yet another note from Eridol and he begins reading it. After finishing, he slowly makes his way up the stairs to the quiet bedroom where Eridol is still standing and he kneels down and hugs the cleric and after several seconds, Eridol hugs his friend back and quietly begins crying into his shoulder.

#dnd #dndrecap #Tactyl Ymon

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dlamp-dictator · 4 years ago

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Allen X Rambles about Chapter 7

“I hope Episode 7 is focused on only 2 or three characters with little distraction... Amiya maybe finding out that Ch’en is slowly becoming Infected and helping her come to terms with that. Ch’en revealing her past to Amiya and the two connecting over losing so many close to them due to Oripathy. The two standing up to the political corruption of Lungmen, shoulder to shoulder, as women that refuse to see another life lost due to the indifference of a city’s politics.”

-Allen X, October 2nd, 2020, Rambling about Chapter 6

Man... I’m starting to believe it when they say Arknight’s story mode is longer than the Harry Potter series. Things are getting crazy in Chapter 7 and crazy-long to in terms of length. This chapter really had me on the edge of my seat as I read through it and as I played through because 7-16 and 7-18 were a bitch to get through that require some of the most precise timing I’ve seen in this game yet. That aside, I enjoyed a lot what I read and experienced.

And I wanted to talk about it a bit.

But first, as always, a synopsis.

Coming off the heels of Frostnova’s death and the realization of Wei Yenwu’s purging of the Lungmen slums, tensions are high and trust has been fractured between Rhodes Island and Lungmen. However, in the midst of Ch’en hot temper and Amiya’s cool head, Reunion is plans to send the Russian Ursusian city of Chernobog on a collision course with Hong Kong Lungmen, giving Ursus a cause to make war against Lungmen and its great region of Tawain China Yen. However, through some rather amazing political maneuvering and passionate words by Wei Yenwu’s wife Fumizuki, Rhodes Island agrees to mobilize in order to save Lungmen, the Infected, and the beloved daughter of Lungmen, Ch’en. But beyond Chernobog lies Patriot, Reunions greatest commander next to Talulah herself, who’s rage toward his daughter’s death is only matched by his disciplined mind and even more disciplined soldiers. It’s a fight to the center of the Chernobog to save as many lives as possible, even at the cost of this great general’s life.

An Addendum to 7-18

So between my venting about 7-18 when I talked about some fun Arknight’s lore a handful of people wanted to give me some advice on how to conquer that stage. Admittedly that venting was said out of anger and was much more acidic in tone than my usual essays and opinion pieces. I have since beaten that stage and I can give some of my thoughts on this advice. Some of it was helpful... some of it.

“AmIyA cAn TaNk PaTrIoT’s SpEaR tOsS!”

This is technically true and I was technically wrong. When Amiya’s S3 is active she gained increased Max HP and can in fact survive with a sliver of health. However, Amiya’s S3 takes quite a long time to charge even with her talent, and unless someone is actively blocking Patriot her can honestly spam his spear through for how long it takes Amiya to get prepped for her S3. This is more of an issue of Amiya’s balancing than with the game, but I’ll talk about that later.

“jUsT sTaLl PaTrIoT tO kEeP hIm FrOm UsInG tHe SpEaR tOsS!”

This would be pretty viable advice if Patriot didn’t one-shot my units. Yes, defenders like Cuora, Nian, Hoshigumi, and even tankier vanguards like Zima and Siege can tank at least one hit from Patriot without dying, meaning a squad of healers can just focus-fire on them while they do chip damage to Patriot and stall him out. However, Patriot’s phase 2 has him do constant damage to nearby units with his aura ability, so if he can get lucky enough, he take someone down to a sliver and let his poison damage finish off your staller before they get a chance to be healed. That strategy needs luck and some damn smart unit placement. Neither of which I honestly have.

“uSe SpEcTeR aNd DeBuFfErS!”

Again, this is also a pretty good strategy. Specter’s S2 makes her immortal for a limited time and pairing that with healers like Breeze and Celycon who reduce stun damage isn’t a bad idea. Characters that ignore or lower defense like Pramanix, Shamare, and Meteor are also good. This doesn’t work for me however since I only have Pram and the other debuffers are way too underleveled and not on my priority at the moment, and E2-ing units this late in the game just to take out one boss feels like madness.

“f12 CaN dOdGe ThE sPeAr ToSs!”

F12, W, Jessica, and FEater have a dodge chance. Their dodges are not guarantees. Yes, Patriot will target the ranged operator furthest from him and there are range tiles pretty close to his spawn point for that purpose. However, some of those operators have some pretty damn expensive DP costs and waste that on a chance to survive isn’t worth.And feeding Patriot ranged units that take over 30 seconds to redeploy is a waste of DP in general. And those either dodge chances aren’t viable. Them surviving isn’t a strategy, it’s a fluke, and you can’t depend on flukes in auto-deployment.

“Allen, you’re being kind of an asshole to what’s actually sound advice.”

Yes, I am.

I don’t care.

7-18 does things to a person, man. That stage breaks people. I lost sanity IRL just doing that stage or 20 times with a guide... dear lord this stage.

Anyway, moving on.

Story Notes

My, this story sure was thick, wasn’t it? It’s been while since I’ve been on a ride that wild. And this time around I don’t have any small issues to bring up. All the characters felt in character without breaking my suspension of disbelief. There weren’t multiple character arcs going on at once. And I even tolerated Kal’tsit berating the Doctor for reasons beyond his understand since she wasn’t discussing too many things that were above my head as the player.

No... I only have big issues.

But before that, I wanted to hit on some actual important notes that were very good and smartly written.

Rosmontis and Child Soldiers

This was probably the biggest takeaway for me. I know the Arknights community likes to poke a lot of fun about the child soldier thing and how Kal’tsit is harboring slave children, but... man, it makes so much since now.

These kids aren’t just kids, they’re all infected people with some rather scary abilities. Popukar has a history of mental instability coupled with monstrous strength. Ifrit has powers she can just barely keep under control and could set Rhodes Island ablaze at any point. Frostleaf and GreyThroat are deeply traumatized from their past. The Ursus Self Government are full of kids with hatred, resentment, and fear of both the world and themselves. The list goes on, but the fact is that these kids all either have abilities that would be a danger to themselves and others if they aren’t trained, or have emotional hang-ups that might very well have them lash out at innocent people if not put on a leash. Wouldn’t it be better to at least give them some training and let them hack and blast away at the actual bad guys? Wouldn’t it be better to at least make them a weapon for some kind of greater good? And would anyone else really treat these broken, powerful children as anything but weapons and warriors anyway?

I know this is about chapter 7, but I remember in Children of Ursus Rosa asked Zima why she fought, and Zima casually answered that she just liked fighting. It’d be far better to have someone with that mindset working for an organization like Rhodes Island than ending up in Ursus’s fold and blindly hacking at something she shouldn’t.

And I think it’s important to remind everyone that Amiya is the head of Rhodes Island and not Kal’tsit. She’s a big part of the organization, but it’s the bunny in charge. And the bunny that is herself close to a living nuke and is also has empathetic superpowers understands this probably better than anyone else, which is why she okays it.

Patriot and Reunion

As much as I despise, and I do mean despise, how cagey this series can be with it’s portrayal of Reunion’s morality I can understand why a lot of its members can see the group as being just. Patriot is a warrior of such renown and praise, and Talulah has so much charisma and power that I can see the group overlooking characters like Mephisto and W when the other two do so much for their members and general people. The Guerillas under Patriot behave like soldiers. They don’t rampage, loot, pillage, or harm everyone in sight, only those that halt, stagnant, and harm the infect. Talulah has a charisma about her and attracts people, and seems to come from some sort of royal/noble line to match. And while Faust wasn’t mentioned much in this chapter, he was a soldier that started at the bottom, worked his way to the top, and made sure to play by rules that kept his moral high ground. Mephisto seems to be the only outliner here for some baffling reason.

But... there are some major issues with this story. I hint at them every time I talk about Arknights’ story, but I’ll go into depth here. And I’ll present these two issues I have in the form of a two question:

Who is the Doctor?

I don’t mean this the sense of the story, but what is his function as a character? Is he a self-insert for the player, or his own character to be explored and examined?

And either answer, to me, is wrong.

The Doctor Isn’t a Self-Insert

It’s straight up impossible for the Doctor to be a self-insert character. Most self-inserts are blank enough to let us place our own personality onto them and the situations their in the choices they make are meant to be more or less choices we’d make or at least a general audience could make barring some specifics. Their personalities tend to be blank or at least bland to let us, the players, live through them and project our personalities onto them.

The Doctor isn’t this.

There are too many moment where our choices are clearly pointing to one conclusion and most choices, though varied, give a clear idea that the Doctor is someone that care about the operators’ wellbeing deeply and hates seeing them used, abused, or manipulated. They are strategist and commander, but they have enough humanity to not see people as tools. They are passionate when they see other operators and especially Amiya in harms way and tries to come up with strategies to minimize lost and causalities. Awhile we, the player, feel the same in this regard the Doctor has dialogue that feels more conversational and toward specific directions than what a player would likely want and gives us some bits and piece about what they’re actually like.

The Doctor hates Kal’tsit and wants little to do with her, only tolerating her presence as much as she is with the Doctor. The Doctor is a bit of a bleeding heart that doesn’t fully grasp that they are constantly in a warzone despite their strategic competency. The Doctor has an extremely weird diet and eating style, devouring live animals and ingesting foods that would probably need to be probably mixed and brewed before consumption. The Doctor still sees Amiya as a child despite her mature nature.

The list goes on, but there’s enough there for me to say the Doctor is more like Hakuno Kishinami of the Fate/Extra series, a character that seems like a self-insert but has a number of traits and character tics that keep them from fulfill that role. However Fate/Extra, for all I have against it, makes Hakuno work by giving them their own internal thoughts outside of the player’s actions that explain their dialogue choices and actions outside of the player’s control. The Doctor doesn’t, so them being a self-insert feels really weak and irritating when the dots stop connecting.

But despite this...

The Doctor Isn’t Their Own Character

Too much of what the Doctor does is passive. For a clear as their personality is, at least to me, they don’t have much agency in the plot. Not enough for me to call them their own character at least. They commander the battlefield, but they don’t have a place on it. They don’t have much reason to interact with characters like Patriot and Talulah unless its on the metaphorical and literal chessboard we’re playing on.

Every time the Doctor says something that advances the plot in some way I feel like it could be said by another character and work better. Amiya trying talk down Patriot and explain that Frostnova fought bravely did not need the Doctor’s interjections, especially when Patriot shoots them down in the same manner. In chapter 6, being trap with Frostnova would had worked much better with Amiya since that chapter was giving them parallels anyway. The only thing that really works is the Doctor trying to call out Kal’tsit for her treatment of Rosmontis as a soldier despite her age, as that’s only something that someone who didn’t have the full context could do.

But... Jessica, Frostleaf, Frostnova, Melantha and several other Operators are young teenagers and even children. Specter and Lappland are clearly just as mentally damaged and still going into battles. The Doctor knows the kinds of people that fight for Rhodes Island, so isn’t this just another young fighter like Popukar and Suzuran? Hell, in chapter 6 we canonically had Beagle and Fang in a stage where they had to fight and tank Faust, why is the Doctor so surprised that someone like Rosmontis exist and works for Rhodes Island?

See?

See how trying to give this character separation from being a self-insert and actively slot them in the active story does more harm than good?

I think games like Girls Frontline and Honkai Impact 3rd do this better, where the player character is clearly more behind the scenes and is only a passing influence, if any.

But that leads me to my next question, which is...

Who is Amiya?

Amiya falls into the trope of being a cute anime girl with a mysterious past and dangerous powers. More accurately, she has a mysterious past and powers to the player, but everyone in Amiya’s inner circle seems to have a clue about it. I don’t mind this being a mystery, but... when our main character’s plot revolves around things the player doesn’t know, it’s curious at best, and infuriating at worse.

Folks, I’m not someone that looks to theory-crafting. I’m not someone that reads every scrap of dialogue in this game to find out more about its lore. The lore, to me, is just fun and interesting. I honestly do not have the time and energy to spend on making theories and predictions that could be wrong and a waste of mental energy. However, with all this stuff about the King of Fiends just feels like a waste of time, or at least a last minute addition to something I could had been added properly in Chapter 8.

A lot of it feels like you had to know about the Darknight Memoir side story to really get a feel for what’s going on. The Sarkaz civil war, Theresa, W’s role back when Rhodes Island was Babel, a lot of things that don’t come up in the main storyline. Especially with that bombshell about the Doctor maybe killing Theresa.

I don’t like it when a story expects me to have read the spinoff to understand the mainline story. This is why I don’t like the Dragon Age series and I’m really getting annoyed with Arknights right now.

This bombshell of the King of Fiends also kind of sours a bit of Amiya’s character as this young child who rose through the ranks of Rhodes Island as a charismatic leader being able to steel optimism with the reality of war to forge ahead as a proper leader through her abilities as both a commander and an empath. Instead it’s beginning to come across that her skills as a leader comes from something more supernatural, or at least something more forced than "small child is a good leader and can lead an army,” which is surprisingly more believable and nuanced given how seriously the series takes Amiya’s character.

That said, I recognize this criticism is more my wish of what was rather than an issue of what is. I completely understand that essentially wishing for my own fanfic and limited fan theories to come true isn’t a sound criticism, but it's a criticism I have regardless.

But moving on, there’s one more issue that bugs me.

W’s Importance

I’ll keep this brief since I already discussed my bigger issues of the story and this is an admittedly small portion of the story:

W wasn’t utilized much in this story despite being a main feature of it in the promotional material. She has a pretty lengthy intro, disappears from the story for most of it, then reappears at the last bits of chapter 7 to make mean looks at Kal’tsit and the Doctor before being literally shoved offscreen again. I’ve already discussed my issues with the Doctor’s agency so I won’t bother here.

W’s banner should had been during Darknight Memoir, it just makes more sense given she was the feature character of it and her high physical damage would had been a goodsend among all the arts-resistant Sarkaz units of that series of chokepoint-heavy maps, similar to Weedy’s inclusion her is helpful as a lot of these maps could use a good pusher, especially 7-16.

Speaking of, Weedy, the other operator on this limited banner, has no presence in the story at all. Need I remind you in the last limited banner Aak and Hung at least had cameo-esque appearances in the Ancient Forge event. Weedy’s inclusion feels like an afterthought because they didn’t want the limited 6-Star to have a good chance to be pulled for the whales.

Anyway, I believe those are all the big issues I had with this story, so...

In the Future

As I always tend to say, I don’t like the idea of trying to fix something that has already been made and has already passed. It’s too late to change the past, but I see nothing wrong with asking for things to happen in the future as a way of giving feedback.

To that end, I still have hope that Chapter 8 will have a focus on Amiya and Ch’en tackling Talulah together. From my understanding of some spoilers this is more or less what is going to happen. I also hope that we’ll have a more detailed idea on this whole King of Fiends thing is about. As much as I personally don’t care for it, it’s already be discussed in the story so I at least hope we get the full idea on what’s going on with that plotline.

I also hope the Doctor either plays less a role or becomes their own character outright away from any player influence. Us speaking through a character that already has a personality feels weird to me and I’d rather not have it at all.

Anyway, that’s it for me folks. Next time... maybe I’ll talk about anime or something, who knows.

#your dictator is speaking #arknights

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sortinghatchats · 5 years ago

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On Slytherin Primaries

Slytherins believe in the importance of taking care of their own. Everyone else is a person, but so are they, so a Slytherin’s job, before everything else, is taking care of them and theirs. This makes what Slytherin are known for, their ambition and ruthlessness, stand out strikingly even while a Slytherin’s core is not inherently selfish or cut-throat.

All of the Houses contain people with great ambitions and great desire for accomplishment and the furthering of their goals. Gryffindors will take on the world to do what they think is right, and are willing to make sacrifices and overrule those who would compromise on what needs to be done, and that’s nothing if not ambition. What makes the Slytherin ambition stand out so significantly is that it’s seen as a selfish ambition, and a guiltlessly selfish one at that. That drive is tied to personal achievement instead of idealistic achievement, and that makes it easier to point at.

But this is key: selfish ambition is idealistic ambition for a Slytherin. A Slytherin’s first priority is to their loved ones not because they love deeper or harder than the other Houses (they don’t), but because it is wrong to betray or abandon your people and right to defend and promote them. Loyalty and defense of your own is an inherent part of the Slytherin morality.

A Slytherin does not generally feel guilty for valuing themselves, for taking time for their own mental or physical health, or for sacrificing other things for the safety and happiness of the people they love. They might feel vulnerable, or judged, or guilty for not feeling guilty, especially if they live in the kind of family or culture where humility and self sacrifice are seen as the greatest goods– but without watching eyes and the words of peers and authority figures bouncing around their skulls, a Slytherin would feel comfortable and even validated in the idea that they have both a right and duty to take care of their own selves before anything or anyone else.

An exception to this is a Slytherin who’s managed to kick themselves out of their inner circle. For whatever reason, they don’t feel like they deserve their own help or kindnesses. Their “me and mine” priorities are still apparent but now it’s only “mine.” They fiercely and selflessly prioritize the individuals they love, value, or feel responsible for, while excluding their own self. A Slytherin like this can look somewhat like a Hufflepuff Primary, erring towards selflessness, but take a look at how they prioritize between their best friend v. a stranger in need. If they feel guilty for abandoning the stranger, they’re probably a Puff; Slytherins feel desperately like they owe things to their people, but they don’t feel like they owe people in general. (Also keep an eye out for a Burned Hufflepuff in this example, though– a Slytherin wouldn’t care strongly about not helping the stranger, except for general empathetic tickles; a Hufflepuff would be survivably eaten up inside; a Burned Puff would force themselves not to care because it’s the only practical thing).

Not prioritizing their own would feel wrong to a Slytherin. It would feel selfish, and might feel like giving into social pressures instead of standing up for what matters to them. This can hold true emotionally even when logically, prioritizing you and yours is not the best thing to do. In The Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen, a Slytherin Primary who only wants her family to be safe, almost runs away from her place as an important political symbol on the chance that she and her loved ones could make it on their own, hiding from the capitol. She doesn’t– but she really wants to, and when things go wrong she feels guilty for not acting to put her loved ones first.

Canonical Basis

Individual loyalty is something tied to Slytherins in the books and movies, but isn’t something that gets focused on. “Or perhaps in Slytherin you’ll make your real friends,” the Sorting Hat says in the song from Harry’s first year. It doesn’t explicitly use the loyal like it does for Hufflepuff, but that’s consistent because often, Slytherins don’t look loyal. If you’re not one of their most important people, who you can often count on one hand, they’re not particularly loyal. Loyalty doesn’t have an inherent worth for Slytherins the way it does for Hufflepuffs. Loyalty is less given and more earned.

And we have canonical examples of Slytherin loyalty, extreme and dramatic as it is. Slytherin loyalty is Narcissa Malfoy abandoning her Dark Lord for the sake of her son. Slytherin loyalty is the way Pansy Parkinson freaks out every time something injures Draco, and the way she was willing to sacrifice Harry to save herself and her friends (and the way she expected other people to agree with that judgement call).

It’s Slughorn’s guiltless willingness to distance himself from Dumbledore’s war–until old Dumbly gave him a reason to risk his own precious skin. It’s Snape, unwilling to let go of Lily Potter even after decades have passed and her son has grown up an orphan; even when there is nothing still to gain from holding onto his loyalty to her, and even when he hates her son.

Moving outside of canon (because there are nearly no positive descriptions of Slytherins with canon– Narcissa is a bigot, Pansy a bully, Slughorn a spineless creep, Snape a child abuser):

Slytherin is Ender Wiggin going back to Battle School not to save the world but because his sister asked him to, and Bean going to Battle School because he could get an education there that would save himself and then staying to save Ender. Slytherin is Pepper Potts telling Tony that, to hell with the world, he needs to take care of himself first. It’s Andrea from The Walking Dead pulling a gun on the people who try to get between her and her sister’s body. It’s Toph Beifong not giving any fucks except that hey, Twinkle Toes needs her. It’s Briar Moss of Circle of Magicplunging into death itself, refusing to let Rosethorn go.

Where Molly Weasley, in HP canon, weeps but drops her son Percy when he turns on them for the Ministry, blood purist and loyal daughter of House Black Narcissa Malfoy betrays the Dark Lord and saves Harry Potter for Draco’s sake. As the final, epic battle of good and evil culminates and commences in Hogwarts, Narcissa takes her family and she disappears. The ideals of her war were only her priority until her son was in direct danger.

Slytherin v. Hufflepuff

Slytherin and Hufflepuff are the two Loyalist Primaries. People, and not ideals, are at the core of their judgement calls. But where Hufflepuffs tend to bond to groups, Slytherins bond with individuals.

Slytherin Primaries are horrified to see someone let down a friend. To turn on a loved one for words as insubstantial as truth or justice or the greater good feels like a very particular kind of madness. Sure that’s what you’re supposed to do, a Slytherin might say, but that’s not what you actually want, is it? Your person is right here. They are real, and they are breathing, and they need you, and they are yours. It’s an extreme Slytherin who would let the whole world burn for the sake of a friend, but every Slytherin Primary would be at the very least tempted.

We discuss in the Hufflepuff Primary post how when someone is dropped from a Hufflepuff’s group of “people,” it is a dramatic fall into becoming a dehumanized “thing.” This Hufflepuff dehumanization can take many forms– outsiders, “other”ing people, having strong beliefs in the justification behind more institutionalized types of exclusion like racism, sexism, classism. But it’s a divide where there are people who are people, and then there are people who are not-people.

The Slytherin divide is very different. There is no mechanism inherent to the Primary that removes someone of their personhood. Rather, they are removed of their status. There is a possessive drive to Slytherin, and while that varies in intensity across different individuals, it puts the divide on the basic line of “mine” and “not mine.” We find it helpful to talk about it in terms of being in someone’s inner circle, but it’s not usually that binary. Like it is with everyone, loyalty comes in a gradient.

But Slytherin’s loyalty is more selective than the other Houses’. Where a Hufflepuff extends some initial degree of loyalty on the basis of your being a person, with a Slytherin any loyalty you gain is earned from the bottom up; you start at 0.

A Decided House

But when the major part of your moral system that you feel viscerally is to protect yourself and your people, there are a lot of gaps in how you interact with the world and with moral situations. What do Slytherins do when confronted with gross wrongs like slavery, like murder, like unjust war–wrongs that don’t touch their people? It depends on the Slytherin. But this is why we count a Slytherin as a Decided house along with Ravenclaw, despite the core of their moral system being very much felt.

Some Slytherins simply don’t care–they opt out of the moral complications of the rest of the world and what touches other people and choose a contented apathy about the things that don’t intrude on their space– but other Slytherins construct ways to interact with these situations.

Perhaps they do so by understanding that other people have connections as strong and important as their own, or by building something more complex. Sometimes Slytherins can build systems that look like Ravenclaw systems– systems based on observational data, on adopted systems, or by keeping the moral guidance that they were taught growing up. The defining difference between these constructed additional Slytherin systems and the Ravenclaw Primary system is that the Slytherins are aiming for function and don’t have the same drive for truth. It matters much less if the system they build is true than if it is functional. The system should optimize for what they care about and what makes them happy, but this moral code is not viscerally driving like a Slytherin’s desire to protect those closest to them.

Some Slytherins latch specifically on to the morality of their most important person (or people), either because they trust them or because they value them. Samwise Gamgee, the loyal hobbit who follows Frodo through hell and back, adopts Frodo’s system. Sam does great good, bravely and well, but he does it, “For Mr. Frodo! For the Shire! And for my Gaffer!” Jeff Winger from Community also sometimes follows this pattern, absorbing the moralities of his study group and best friends. Both these characters are, to put it simplistically, wearing bracelets that read “What Would Mr. Frodo Do?” and “What Would The Study Group Do?” etc. For Jeff, it’s a bit more because Annie will pout at him if he’s doesn’t at least try.

Aang, from Avatar the Last Airbender, builds himself a stunning replica of his beloved deceased father figure Gyatso’s ethical system and he lives in it all his life. Latching onto a parental figure or early (sometimes, in media, deceased) influence’s morality is a form of love common for young Slytherins. Train Heartnet of Black Cat (who Saya changes so completely), Kai of Korra (who takes in Jinora’s culture like it’s his own morality), and Edward Cullen of Twilight (who takes Carlisle’s pacifism to self-hating extremes), are all examples of that.

Alternatively, a Slytherin might spend a lot of their time living in a Primary model–it might matter deeply to them to do good and right. If they have that drive for truth, they might have a Ravenclaw Primary model as opposed to just a Slytherin’s functional construction. They might also have a Gryffindor Primary or a Hufflepuff Primary model. They could even have a Slytherin Primary model– but one that is loyal and dedicated to a larger group of people, like a whole peer group, the population of a whole city, or even humanity in general. (This can look a bit like a Hufflepuff– one major visible difference is that particularly Slytherin sense of possessiveness.) They could live in that model for all conflicts and decisions that are separate from and non-threatening toward their most important people and be very functional with that.

MCU’s Tony Stark is an example of this type. (He’s also an example of a Slytherin who has kicked himself out of his own inner circle). He is a Slytherin Primary dedicated to Pepper and Rhodey (and, as of Avengers 2, he’s likely coming to value the other Avengers this way), but he has built a driving model to allow him to interact ethically with the rest of the world. It is this model that drives Iron Man and his sustainability and charity projects. This model (we think it’s probably Gryffindor Primary) is likely also what will drive him to one side or the other in Civil War. As long as Pepper or one of his own is not in direct danger (though the danger to himself is irrelevant), Tony will act firmly in service of his model.

But dropping that model in order to stand by someone you love, or in order to protect yourself, doesn’t feel like a failing. Sticking to that modelled morality at the expense of betraying or abandoning one of their own would make a Slytherin feel guilty and wrong. Being able to put the things and concepts you like aside for the sake of the people who need you feels more righteous than any moral posturing. It feels practical and it feels right, just as strongly as a Gryffindor Primary’s internal moral compass points them.

It’s a people based system, but it’s still an intuitive model of right and wrong. Betraying your own is the worst kind of crime. Loyalty is precious and terrible; it makes you vulnerable. It’s given sparingly, deeply, and a Slytherin will stand by their loyalties through the same death and fire that a Gryffindor would brave for the sake of doing the right thing, or a Hufflepuff to help someone in need.

In the same vein, when a Slytherin realizes that someone else doesn’t put the same value on the people they profess loyalty to, they might react similarly to a Gryffindor realizing that morality isn’t intuitive to everyone. Some things are just wrong, a Gryffindor might protest. But they’re your child–your spouse–your friend, a Slytherin will cry, confused and unsettled. How could you?

Petrified or Burned Slytherin

While there are certainly Slytherin Primaries who don’t care about any people who aren’t theirs, many Slytherins, especially ones who enjoy being more social, have wide circles of friends and acquaintances; people they will go out of their way to help, and whose company they enjoy, whose confidence they trust (to a point). What defines a Slytherin is not a lack of these concentric circles, but rather how sharply those lines of stratification are drawn. Wanting to help someone doesn’t mean you’re loyal to them. Wanting to help them at the expense of your comforts, your values, your commitments and sometimes even your self–that does.

You end up with Slytherin Primaries on both ends of the spectrum: ones who have decided that a huge group of people are “theirs” (to the extreme of: the world is my responsibility and I have bonded to every single individual contained in it), and ones who have decided that they themselves are not one of their most important people, but maybe a friend or lover is.

You can also get Slytherins whose only important person is themselves. This can be done healthily, especially for short periods of times, but when it’s driven by a fear of those close attachments, it becomes a phenomenon we call the Burned or Petrified Slytherin.

The Petrified Slytherin is a Slytherin who has no inner circle and no plans to get one. Whether through death, betrayal, abandonment (from either side), or through never having had any to begin with, the Petrified Slytherin has decided that having important people is too dangerous. Having those strong ties leaves you open to pain and weakness, and the pleasure of those connections aren’t worth the despair that comes from their seemingly inevitable loss. In this way, they close themselves off to meaningful connections out of what is ultimately fear (though from the inside, it’s far more likely to be experienced as a rational, sensible decision given the circumstances of the world), and gives them a stony exterior that seems impenetrable, resolute, and cold.

Even when not Petrified, though, the Slytherin Primary often seems cold. This comes not from any actual inherent coldness, but because they often show their warmth only to their inner circle. This is hugely influenced by your other houses, especially when you get the warmth of the Hufflepuff Secondary involved, or have a warm model– but even then, there is a special and somewhat exclusive kind of warmth saved for those who are held the closest.

A Slytherin Primary in our system is defined first and foremost by the intensity and priority of their loyalties to individual people, however few or many. And the way to break a Slytherin– whether you’re stopping their plans or crushing their will– is to either take away their people or to threaten to. Narcissa betrays Voldemort, fully aware of what that could mean for the safety of herself and her husband, because Draco was more important than anyone or anything. Azula of Avatar the Last Airbender, for all her coldness and lack of mercy, does what she does because she wants desperately to be loved and accepted by her father. When Annabeth, his friends, or his mother are threatened, Rick Riordan’s Percy Jackson loses all other priorities– his canonical fatal flaw is that he would let the world burn to save a friend. Nothing brings out the fierceness in a Slytherin like getting in between them and their loved ones.

To a Slytherin the inner circle of close loyalties is likely to be a much smaller number than the people they care about and consider friends. A petrified Slytherin is therefore not necessarily someone who is friendless, or who has no social ties, or who lacks affection for people. It’s not even a Slytherin without some sort of a hierarchy of important people.

A petrified Slytherin is a Slytherin who has decided, either consciously or not, that letting people into that inner circle– devoting themselves to someone with that deep, thoughtless Narcissa-type or Azula-type loyalty– is too dangerous. It’s too terrifying. When someone is that close, they become a huge risk. They might die, or you they might stop loving you, or stop liking you, or something awful might happen to them and it might be your fault. Something awful might happen to you because someone might threaten your people and use them against you, and you would be helpless. If you couldn’t find a way to maneuver through the situation, you would have to do whatever was demanded of you to keep your people safe, because nothing would be worse than losing them and having it be your own fault.

Surviving a situation like that (losing someone or having their lives used as collateral against you) is one of the ways we see Petrification often happen.

Not all Slytherins will Petrify in such a situation– Finnick from The Hunger Games, a Slytherin Primary whose only people are Mags and Annie, has resisted Petrifying even when there are good arguments that it would be a far more adaptive thing to do. The Capitol’s only way of controlling him is by threatening to hurt the people he loves, and even after Mags is killed, he stays resolutely attached to Annie. It gives him the strength to carry on, but is also the weakness that the Capitol is exploiting. If Annie died, Finnick would be very likely to Petrify.

Bean, in Ender’s Shadow, is a Petrified Slytherin for most of the book. He likes people, and sometimes idolizes people, but their main purpose in his life is the utility of them. His connections are a cold, logical thing, closer to an alliance than to a friendship, and often not mutually so. Bean is interesting because we never see the Petrification process. He’s born into a survival situation and is cold and hard and determined to live from the first page. It is only at the very end, when he grows attached to Nikolai and allows himself to consider the possibility that he, too, could have a family who he loves and who loves him, that we see that Petrification begin to melt away.

Jeff Winger from Community is another example. A ruthless lawyer only out for his own gain and without an attachment in the world except to maybe his car, he’s the perfect example of a Petrified Slytherin. His tentative, slow-moving back and forth journey into attachment to the other characters is a character arc of un-Petrifying. He’s better at it some days than others.

With female characters in particular, the petrified Slytherin is hugely tied to the trope of the Ice Queen. From TV Tropes: “Her signature characteristic is that she is cold; the ambiguity comes from what “cold” means. She has a cold heart, a frosty demeanor; she attracts but will never be wooed.” Characters who fit this trope are not always Petrified Slytherins, but the trope is an important parallel if not just because of the imagery they share: cold, hard, unyielding, nothing to lose.

When a Slytherin loses their closest attachments, they are left with only their personal ambitions and with the morality system that is usually constructed around those loyalties. In the sense that the way that they now primarily frame their interactions with the world is constructed, they often appear to look like Ravenclaw Primaries here. The most visible and useful difference here, especially from the outside, is that they don’t have the Ravenclaw drive for truth. Their system doesn’t have to be true or right, but simply functional. If they have a Ravenclaw Primary model that gives them some of that drive, then they might be indistinguishable from the Ravenclaw Primary unless there are are counterexamples of Slytherin loyalty from other points in their life.

Despite it seeming to at least be a trend, not all Petrified Slytherins look like Ravenclaw Primaries. Petrified Slytherins with models of other Primaries might happily and healthily inhabit those models as their main way of interacting with the world, and this has the potential to be entirely functional. The reason that the model would remain a model though, and not indicate an actual change in Primary, would be that first, there still remains the possibility to un-petrify, and second, even if there is nothing substantial underneath it, the model could still be dropped.

This potential for to drop that model and fall to an underlying lack of structure and direction is part of what gives desperate Slytherins their reputation of being fearsome. Azula is a great, if extreme, example of this when she loses everything at the end of season 3 of Avatar. Mental illness (in the form of at the very least hallucinations and almost definitely a lot more) and trauma also have of course a huge influence on the intensity of everything that happens, but that basic directionlessness, the way that Azula has nothing left after she loses her father, the way she’s so susceptible to being haunted by her mother’s memory, hits so hard because she had structured everything around her Slytherin morality. She had no real goals or ideals underneath that, and so she had no structure to keep her up when that crumbled.

One of the good things about Petrification, as scary and awful as it is, is that it’s a good way to survive a bad situation and it’s possible to un-petrify (see: Defrosted Ice Queen). Because fear of attachment is at the heart of petrification, instead of needing reality to prove your doubts wrong (as the other fallen Houses must), you only need one person to prove that attachment is worth the risk.

Elementary’s Jamie Moriarty follows a common path here in that, despite her pretending to be un-petrifying for our protagonist Sherlock, the one person she ends up actually attaching to her is her daughter. She is the Slytherin woman who un-petrifies upon becoming a mother. Regina in Once Upon a Time also follows this path, becoming through that a subversion of the Evil Queen, who is often a Petrified Slytherin who does not un-petrify (see her mother, Cora, and the symbolic plot of removing her heart so that no one can use it against her).

It’s really common in media for characters who have closed themselves off to attachments to be called psychopaths, both by the fans and the writers, when they are, in fact, not. A lot of them have empathy, or at least the capacity for it, and are instead Petrified.The definitive and intentional split between the self and meaningful attachments, due to loss, trauma, selfishness, or fear, is different from the inability to intuitively create those attachments. Calling this “petrification,” rather than inaccurately calling it “psychopathy,” gives the character flexibility to recover from it that doesn’t end up as either a contradiction of established character or as a downplaying of actual serious mental illness.

To sum: Petrification happens when a Slytherin cares about their important people so intensely that pain from their loss, or the potential for future loss, outweighs the positives of having important people. It stops being worth it. Even if it leaves the Slytherin with a directionless system and a cold center where there is an aching potential for great warmth, it feels safer and better to not attach to anyone that strongly.

tl;dr Slytherin Primary

Slytherin is a Decided House, and Internal House, and a Loyalist House.

As a Decided House, Slytherins, unlike Hufflepuffs (our other loyalists), prioritize "their" people first. Those people are found and chosen by the Slytherin. It's not about who is in front of them, or who needs them most, but who they have decided to love.

As a Internal House, like Gryffindor, Slytherin Primaries carry a certainty and a moral fortitude inside of themselves. When they are sure they are right, in the defense of themselves or their loved ones, they will not be swayed by outside influence or pressure.

As a Loyalist House, Slytherin puts people first. Unlike the Hufflepuff, they put their people first. They’re content with valuing some people over others without necessarily thinking some people are better than or worth more than others. In fact, putting their own people first feels right. This is something owed. Not valuing the people you profess loyalty to most would be a betrayal, a cowardice, an abandonment. The best thing you can be is there for the people you love.

Ambitions live in all Houses but Slytherins’ is notorious because it often looks the most selfish– it often is the most selfish. Part of a Slytherin’s morality is understanding that your first duty is to yourself and the people you love– higher minded goals are all pomp and circumstance, trying to make yourself feel good. At the heart of things, this is why we are here: for ourselves.

#sortinghatchats #sorting hat chats #slytherin

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dutifullybitchypeach · 4 years ago

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My two cents worth for the first six chapters and some reasoning around IC and Nesta. All my own personal opinion. Read if you want but it's just my general thoughts. Please, please don't flip if you disagree. I love Nesta and the darkness she is in right now and her behaviour is taking over this sassy no nonsense Queen and it needs to change.

THIS INCLUDES SPOILERS.

....................

Is the House of Wind a prison...technically no. Nesta just does not have the ability to fly or winnow. And no one is on standby to be her taxi. She can leave by walking. Amren threw her that challenge on purpose. She's not alone, Az and Cassian live there. And the Priestesses. Yes it has dark memories. Yes. I know that and I take it on board.

On a side note, it's irritating to hear 'I'm not your prisoner" from Nesta (who I like!!!!) I think of Azriel, Feyre, all the Fae Under the Mountain, even Elide 💗. Then again everyone's idea of prison is different. But the fact remains. She CAN leave. It's just bollocks hard. For a reason

But we know it's what she needs. We know that. We don't have to like it. Not one likes the reality. The ultimatum is uncomfortable and harsh. Our way or fuck off. They are not suggesting manual labour or degrading her. They suggest training, food, working in a library, purpose, being part of something. This doesn't sound bad to me. It just sucks it comeing across as an order. But this is Nesta's POV and she doesn't do requests or pretty please. The fact I got riled up reading it is a compliment to Mass. I had to take a major step back and reassess. Nesta sees everything as an attack. And no that is not her fault. Stay with me! I agree people enjoy provoking Nesta ( Rhys, Morrigan, Cassian) and then get affronted when she bites back. At some point I'd enjoy her retaliation akin to her ripping their head off :) And their vow to never go there again.

The IC 'review' is what annoys me. The "we" will decide where you go from here if you play ball. My hope 🤞 is that Nesta will TELL THEM where she will go/what she will do with sass. But right now sitting on a rock instead of trying to train is fucking juvenile (Again I stress I like Nesta). She hates her power as far as I can tell. But she is so low she can't see the wood from the trees. Or the hand that is been given to her.

Does Feyre have a right to be embarrassed. Yes. I'd die of shame if my sister (I have 3 btw) kept at that again and again and again all on my families dime. Without even being polite or respectful to anyone. She's only ever provided for Nesta. Period. Not to mention being a high lady with all the responsibilities that entails. Living her own life (well earned) and well life in general! I mean Jesus, Nesta is not her only priority. She maybe ours lol! But Feyre has 101 things going on. Give her credit. She tried with Nesta several times. Gave her space and time which Nesta wanted while still making the effort to reach out. Nesta needs to acknowledge that. Feyre was bankrolling her self destructive lifestyle and it had to stop.

The whole "your behaviour reflects badly on us". Well yes it does. Nesta doesn't get a free pass. The whole of Pyrithian is rebuilding and our girl is pissing away money. That's not even hers! Her behaviour does undermine the Court, folks must eye roll when IC lay down the law when your sister/ sister in law is prancing around being a with a big fuck you. Everyone is broken and rebuilding. And it's a slap in the face. Is the saving face irrelevant to Nestas issues, yes! But is Feyre allowed to feel fucked over, yes! Sisters say shit when they fight. Arguments are not flawless debates. Their emotive and bring out the worst in people. Feyre darling is feeling the pressure of being high lady and it came out all wrong. Especially when it's your sister acting up.

And Nesta never tried (as far as Feyre can tell) WE know Nesta IS trying, and surviving every day is a battle. But Feyre doesn't. Why would she. Nesta doesn't speak to her. But their relationship is so toxic that it's beyond Feyre to get it. And that is not her fault. NO ONE is perfect. There is only so much responsibility Feyre can CONTINUALLY take.

Rhys being there. I have a feeling that a male will not let his pregnant mate anywhere near someone he is afraid of. It's instinctive. Someone who hasn't trained to control their powers especially. He is on High Lord mode cause guess what he is a High Lord. This is his court and the people in it his responsibility. Not to mention the oncoming drama with the queens on the horizon and general court bullshit. Does he abuse his position of power.... well in this world the HL have the power. Everyone is answerable to one. Even Amren obeys the rules. Nesta doesn't/won't recognize that. Which is rare. They tricked and lied to get her "consent" surprise surprise a dick move from Rhysand/Feyre. We know they will do that for the "greater good". Lie, steal etc all in the name of saving the day. He screwed Morrigan over in front of her ass Father for flip sake! My point is the NC stability is his priority now more than ever if impending fatherhood is on the way. It's no surprise he wants Cassian to take on more responsibility. Nesta is a liability cause she is AWOL. It's worth noting he had this plan for months but Feyre refused preferring to give Nesta space and the opportunity to decide for herself what she wanted. So we could assume if Rhys had his way Amren and Nesta would have still been friends and it would have been far different. Amren would have been by her side. Do I condone his domineering behaviour, no not in a million years. And neither did Feyre. Will he apologise? Probably not he's an arrogant ass. And wanted to control the room. Fact. He wants/needs Nesta on board the team to bolster his ranks. She is that powerful. We KNOW he will do anything to protect his family (baby on the way).

Morrigan and her nasty comment on sending Nesta to The Court of Nightmares. Cassian acknowledges it's an insult but also the truth. That's a harsh fact on how Nesta is percieved right now. But I believe she wouldn't just thrive there, she would CONQUER ;) I don't know if Morrigan is referring to the people that abused her or the "type" of people that live in Hewn City...? Will we give HER the benefit of the doubt... hmmm.

Morrigan and that comment on good people giving Nesta the benefit of the doubt...that's Morrigans issue. She never gave Eris the benefit of the doubt and yet he proved her wrong with Keir. She's all over the place as a result . And she's been lying for 5 centuries. To her family. Cassian said he values the raw honesty that he has with Morrigan. Wow is he going to get a shock some day. Nesta may be a bitch but at least she's an honest one. And Morrigan knows it which must rattle her to no end. Point is Mor isn't supposed to be in this story very much and Nesta never really cared for her opinion anyway. So neither should we. I've checked out of Mor. Knowing she won't give Azriel closure or honesty just makes me not consider her opinion. It suits her to keep Nesta down in the gutter so her lie can continue.

Amren - her behaviour. I have to remind myself Amren is OLD, a stint in the Dungeon is probably a standard response! Her idea after the Summer Court fiasco and the jewels was to go there and crush them. Amren is by nature harsh. Which is why she gets on with Nesta the most. Cassian tells us she cares. Nesta can't see this. Her comment on Nestas sex life in ACOFAS. People ran with that. Fae lifestyles always kind of disgusted her. She wasn't Fae so bodily functions were an alien concept. Now she's Fae she's slightly horrified. Also no one else has much to say on Nesta's bedroom antics. Cause it's a non issue Mass doesn't do slut shaming. So neither should we. Speaking as a woman also here.

Elaine - we know Elaine craves peace and quiet. Confrontation is not her thing. Being there would mean Nesta would use her as a crutch, and I'm not sure Elaine wouldn't cave. Nesta pushed her away on purpose and Elaine choose to try and find some sort of contentment. That's her right and choice. Agree or disagree. She walked away or decided she can't deal with Nestas difficult behaviour. I don't know. Or is she oblivious to the situation ?! Who knows. Elaine is an enigma! It's the first 6 chapters! Right now they are two different people and have been drifting apart since ACOWR. Nesta is a dichotomy of pushing people away and hurt when they stop trying. It's exhausting for the people that have to deal with it. Who are not perfect and have their own issues and lives. Elaine has stepped back from this situation. Because either she recognizes it needs to happen or cannot sway the majority. Though I think Elaine did say something to Feyre, cause when Nesta pressed her she refused to say what Elaine thought. Just that she wasn't there and not part of the issue. Feyre is high handed when it comes to her sisters. Because that's the role they allowed her. Nesta is fighting back. And Feyre takes it personally. Which is only natural. They're sisters.

Cassian! Ah Cassian. He was spectacularly rejected and being around Nesta is a constant reminder. That's enough to make me cringe in a corner. He acknowledges he stayed away cause it hurt too much. He's a soldier and has serious self discipline. He has no idea how his behaviour/comments hurt her until she confronts him. Deliver him a few home truths. Another well deserved kick in the balls. Flirting with Mor, not sure his behaviour there has ever changed. He keeps it normal cause being around Nesta gives him the shakes!! Lol. He is slack jawed after Nesta and wants her badly, passion we know is big thing for them. It ignites them. Raw and real. Recognising Morrigan is aesthetically beautiful is just a fact. We know she's a looker. So what. Meh to this issue some people have.

We know from spoilers they start training and communicating and Mass is a Nessain ship so I'm excited to see this grow and flourish! I've read spoilers here on these two so I've no qualms.

Cassian for me is right. He and others have been through similar situations before so can empathise. But until she answers him back without snapping he won't be able to be that shoulder to lean on or turn too. He's not going to be her Prince though. Nesta is her own Queen!

I've read some spoilers on her friendships and I'm so happy. I've no idea how it will go but it says to me that the IC have a block when it comes to Nesta and don't see her the way others do and Nesta opens up to people who don't have a predisposed prejudice.

Also the IC have no idea how Nesta is going to react at any stage. It's like walking around on eggshells. Why would anyone actively choose to be around someone like that. That and very obvious fact they are BUSY AF. They don't have time to have a daily bollicking from Nesta. Yet all fall in when the plan is announced. Make what you will of that.

Some further musings:

Nesta being reminded she has to be respectful to Clotho and the priestesses is sobering. Like wow, people can't trust you will have basic manners. Again I know this is Feyre saying it but Christ to worry about that. Will be interesting with Gwyn and that friendship and a nice reality check for the IC.

I spent 4 God damn books understanding Rhys motives. He's a prick yes. Which I enjoy. But the bastard people are making him out to be I don't agree. Half of Pyrethian hates/hated him, Nesta hating him won't stress him. Or her for that matter. They have a 2 people they both care about in common and will just have to deal.

Training in Illyria, well Nesta is powerful, training in the mountains is probably damage control if she explodes. And a change of scenery from her prison!

Rhys was controlled for 50 years, Amren escaped worlds to be free. I don't believe they want to control Nesta.

Families are messy and fucked up. The intervention is a perfect example of how arseways it can get.

Azriel being Azriel I'm not sure about anything with him right now. I've read the snippets and spoilers and I'm all over the place. He is one of my favourites. FYI when I say IC I never mean Azriel I don't know why but I always imagine he finds it just plain drama and avoids it at all costs. Nesta is drinking and gambling away her life. Okay! Nesta is now training and we are all on board to help. Okay! Nesta is a powerful Queen and we are all afraid. Okay! Nesta has turned Cassian into a drooling mess and hes ass is hers. Excellent ;)

Sisters! They need to deal and respect each others independence. They are all in the wrong. It's just annoying at this stage. Personally I'll rip into my sisters when I need to but usually get a red mist when anyone else does. Even if they are in the wrong. I have a habit of always defending them.

So overall the angst killed me in the first 6 chapters. Did Rhys dominant shite irritate me? Yes. Do I want Nesta to make it clear she's not a pawn in his/their world? Yes. In spectacular fashion please.

Did Feyre handle it well? No. Does she ever deal with Nesta well? No. Perhaps only when Nesta is more inclined to talk. Which is rare. The ultimatum we know from Cassian sickened Feyre she recognizes it for what it is it but really cannot see any other option. Her fault or a combination of factors you decide. It was hyper tense situation we all just wanted to get through.

Would we be so angry if this was a soft approach headed by Elaine/Feyre/Amren? Would Nesta even react?

Cassian compared Nesta to a sleeping dragon who has just been woken up. Nesta needed a kick in teeth. A major reality check. Life in Pyrethian is hard. This a fae world. She is angry and incensed they have dared to 'interfere' and 'assume' she will be controlled. I want her to tackle her demons, confront her fears her issues with herself and others and live! Live! I've no idea what she wants and can't wait to find out.

***I've read some spoilers on the end. The rumours and the actual basic plot ending. I'm like Mass I love a HEA. And am hopeful I'll be satisfied. I had a similar theory when I heard the pregnancy rumour. A move by Nesta that would never have anyone doubt her.

#acosf spoilers #a court of silver flames #acofs #nessian #nesta archeron #nesta and azriel brotp

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very-very-dizzy · 4 years ago

Note

Seaweed-20

Sorry if this one took a long while! The idea started out small, but actually turned into a short nearly 2k fic. For this prompt, I had some good ideas on what to do but they were mostly spoilers so went with this! For who takes narrative? A good question.

(Warning for dark themes, injury, death)

--------

Heavy footsteps slammed against metallic floors. Each in rhythm as they marched forward. Those in sync each adorned two strands of seaweed on their goggles. A symbol that told of their superiority over all else.

There would be no peace as their song was one of execution.

An octoling young enough where she neared her humanoid form but still hadn't developed full tentacles, ran for her life. Avoiding other octarians as they all ran from the sound of marching. In her arms, she carried a younger octoling who clung tightly to her shirt..

Years before the octoling had found them thrown out into her dome just like other defects. Taking them in as a sibling and showing them to her small family. It was common in the outer domes for octarians to form groups as survival alone was hopeless. Although, they both would have to worry later about their family as finding a place to hide them was currently more important.

Finding a small gap against a building’s wall, the octoling stopped and set their sibling inside. Grabbing a frame from a nearby pile of panels and using it to cover the gap. It was an area she would hide them each time elites came through their dome. While not her size, it was enough to keep her little sibling hidden.

“[Stay in there and remember to not move.]” She whispered.

Once seeing that the panel was secured, the octoling grabbed a few pieces of scrap metal. She crept away from the hiding spot, but stopped as multiple voices grew in volume. Looking quickly for somewhere to hide, she found a spot behind a box as footsteps came closer.

A shout caused all of the footsteps to pause. The octoling covered her mouth as someone walked over to where she hid. Giving a small thud as they sat down on the box she hid behind. Throwing aside their octoshot to where she hid.

“[Hey Lake! How’s that other Ida doing? Heard they’re already working on the Great Octoweapons in Slimeskin Garrison.]”

Eyes wide, the octoling knew who they were speaking to. A cruel monster that led many platoons through her dome. She started to shiver in fear as their voice, a voice she’d grown to dread, spoke up with its gruff tone.

Colonel Lake Ida.

“[Don’t know how much she’s doing personally. Labs keep a close eye on keeping information hidden, but they never get anything past me.]” Lake paused before continuing again, “[Anyway, heard she already figured out how to change her forms. Kid’s already 14 and doing things I never could have at her age.]”

“[Really?]” Another soldier asked.

“[Of course. While those pebbles think she’s got to be isolated, I’m planning on giving her a visit soon. Heard she’s been given some training but still hesitates with executing opponents.]” She let out a laugh, “[Although, what’s amazing is that she is building weapons that’ll splat those disgusting squids, achieving perfect scores, and being top notch in physical activities. Makes me jealous of her levels of intelligence, but at least I’m still better than you low-grades.]”

The group of soldiers broke into laughter. Although a few were quiet growls could be heard at their response. Once they stopped, a nervous voice spoke up amongst them. With how quiet they were, it was easy to guess they were someone new.

“[Um… Colonel Ida? Why are we out out here in the outer domes?]”

“[To perform our duty of preserving the Octarian Empire. Out here, there’s mutant and throw-outs that our government wastes donating supplies and energy to. That’s why it is up to us to lower their numbers.]” Lake responded.

A small noise of discomfort was made. “[Do the higher-ups know?]”

“[Of course, but they don’t want to make it public. DJ Octavio knows the public would make a large fuss over providing for these weaklings. So, that’s why our task is a simple task that must be done for the greater good.]”

“[So we are to splat all in sight?]” There was a hint of uncertainty in the nervous elite’s voice.

“[Affirmative, but also to capture and release. A little game of inspiring fear into any that try to fight back. It’s also more fun to play around by having them try to run again.]” A panicked blurb sounded as a box away from them was smashed. Following after were shots of ink fired from an octoshot. “[They hold no power over us so don’t worry about them trying to report you, because they’ve seen your face. Do not forget we are superior over them, and I am above you all.]”

“[That’s correct! Now let’s head out!]” The more cheerful voice spoke out. It wasn’t hard to figure out they were Colonel Ida’s right-hand.

As the rest of the soldiers left, the octoling crept out from her hiding spot. Deciding to take off towards a small shelter. Sweat pouring off her face as continued to run. Breaths staggering with each step taken as her body screamed to keep going.

Until she turned one corner and slammed against a wall. Having forgotten before that there had been reconstruction to rebuild a home that crumbled after time. Too focused on her own self, she hadn’t heard footsteps from behind.

“[Seems you made a wrong turn, kid.]”

Freezing up in fear, the octoling refused to turn around. Her mind screamed to run knowing full well that she had been caught. It was now life or death, and she needed to flee or fight.

“[It’s you again!]” Lake beamed, a grin donning her face. “[How much of a delight this is being I get a second chance at killing you.]”

The young octoling attempted to make an escape, but was grabbed as Lake picked her up with ease. She repeatedly slammed the small octoling against a wall, until deciding enough was done. Knowing they wouldn’t be unconscious as she had held back her strength.

“[Don’t think I forgot about last time. How a pathetic weakling like you managed to scratch my face. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure this time you won’t get a chance to run again.]”

As the octoling struggled to push herself up, she didn’t expect Lake to grab her again. This time, throwing her against a window, which shattered upon impact. Shards of glass digging into her side as she landed upon a dirt floor.

Vision fading in and out, her body felt as if it had been set ablaze from inside. Sharp prinpicks kept stabbing at her arms. Her own tentacles ached with pain from the harsh landing. Picking at her eyes’ edge were droplets of tears ready to fall. Ready for her to give in and break down from the pain.

The young octoling closed her eyes, awaiting for her misery to already end at the elite’s hand. A sound made her open her eyes, and she found herself staring directly into a pair of green eyes with pink peanut shape irises. A clawed hand suddenly grabbed her by the neck, and lifted her upward.

“[Looks like I found you-]”

Lake was cut off as a jagged scrap of metal was pushed into her throat by the octoling. Dropping the octoling, she continued to grasp at the gaping laceration. Making an attempt to stop as more of a turquoise liquid pushed out as her wound opened further once she pulled the metal shard out.

“[BRAT! I’LL-]” Lake broke into heavy coughing.

While unknown to the both of them, multiple octarians burst from a closet inside the building. Each going behind it and using their weight to push it down. Giving enough force that it eventually did fell upon the bleeding elite, but not the young octoling.

After the large noise from impact, shouts from outside came and made everyone inside panic. An octotrooper made its way over to the young octoling and pushed against her side. Their eyes were filled with fear knowing that they all wouldn’t have time. “[Hurry! Go!]”

Opening her mouth, the young octoling prepared to respond but felt something round press against her leg.

Ot, an octoball, and part of her family. While he hadn’t been in their family for long, she saw him as an older brother. He would aid her in supply runs whenever their stock would get low. Although now she feared they wouldn’t be after what had occurred.

“[Uu’oa, sister. We will distract them, and take fault.]” Ot spoke, “[What’ve you done has saved us from one monster.]”

“[B-But -]” She attempted to say, but was shoved by another octarian. More kept pushing against her as others ran to form a blockade against the other door. Shouts from outside growing louder.

“[Go! Hide! Then find G87-8!]” Ot shouted, pushing her through a back door.

With tears, the octoling nodded and limped away. Holding back sobs as she heard weapons being fired. It wouldn’t take long until she reached a small piece of panel. Deciding it would be enough for her to hide in. Crawling under it, she finally let herself cry.

Barely able to process from what had occurred in just moments before.

As hours passed by, the young octoling woke up at the sound of voices. Two different ones from what she had heard before when Colonel Ida was giving her orders.

“[So what do we do about, Colonel Ida?]” One of the asked, seemingly tired.

“[We say she died because of dome debris. It’s what we use to excuse any deaths out here.]” They let out a small grunt. “[Anyway, our only priority is to get the injured out. We’ll tell Ida’s First Lieutenant about all of it after she’s in the med bay.]”

Slowly peeking out, the octoling noticed both had already left. Through more inspection, she confirmed it was safe to head back towards her little sibling. Going back to where she had left them.

Pulling away the panel, she nearly cried from relief. Seeing they were unharmed, she took them back out, and pulled her younger sibling into a tight hug. She would wait to tell them what had happened to Ot, not until they both were with their family.

“[Are you okay?]” She asked them. Giving a little smile as they responded with a small nod.

Stepping away from their hiding spot, she walked into a crowd of fellow octarians. Seeing others with emptiness in their or tears as they sobbed for those that had been lost to the execution. A numbness filled their hearts as they knew it wouldn’t be the last.

Seaweed.

It was that cursed object that became a symbol of death for them.

Swearing on her life, the octoling swore to never adone the seaweed headpiece and become the monsters that marched through their dome.

Instead, she’ll become something they fear.

…

MEMORY REACQUISITION COMPLETE.

REPLAY?

TERMINATE?

OVERWRITE?

TRANSFER?

>[Terminate.]

MEMORY TERMIN-

ERROR.

>[Terminate.]

ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. CORRUPTION FOUND. ERROR. ERROR. ERROR.

>[Retrieve Subject Status.]

SUBJECT 8,380: SANITIZED.

>[Retrieve Subject Orders]

ON STANDBY.

>[Retrieve Subject Location.]

...MISSING.

#writing prompt #splatoon #splat talks #dizzy's writing #WOOO got it done #but ye thanks for the ask!!

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 6 years ago

Text

gross feelings

Summary: Mitch swore to himself that he’d never fall in love. He wasn’t ever going to deal with this shit. Romance didn’t have a place for him in this world, that he was so damn sure of. He always thought he was safe from it all given he’s spent most of his life around the same people without experiencing such feelings...Of course, that’s different now.

Note: Not going to lie. These past 2-3 weeks have been absolutely awful. The worst I’ve had all year by far. I’ll make a post about it in a little bit, but I wanted to post this first. Think of it as a short character study [I guess?] of Mitch with jamitch thrown in to help me cope with the hellfire that is my life right now.

And don’t mind the title. I didn’t know what to call this since it’s basically just Mitch’s thoughts on how gross and risky romance is so...

Thank you for reading <3

Read on AO3

---

The end of the world is fucked up.

And while that statement might appear obvious, there's more to it than that. The dead may walk with only one desire of consuming the flesh of anything that squirms, but other monsters wearing human faces walk among them, surviving by any means necessary.

Full grown adults who swore on their souls to nurture and protect a group of young, troubled children fled the school grounds in search of their own safety with the knowledge that these said children would die without them.

A leader- a broken, terrified leader, lying and manipulating his people- his family - to ultimately protect himself. A lie that like a web, stretched and strained until it snapped, resulting in the death of another.

A group of people turning children into soldiers for their own sick needs, playing it off as for the "greater good" while getting off on the gutting of a young, horrified boy's tongue and the chopping of a girl's finger.

A child okay with taking the life of a dangerous but pleading woman, doing so without a single regret.

A girl, so lost in her madness and delusion, attempting to murder her own little brother only to succeed in the death of a girl who once thought the world, the whole universe and its stars of her.

The end of the world is a living, breathing nightmare.

It’s suffocating when you think about it too much, paralyzing when you let it overwhelm you in the quieter, safer moments of the day.

Mitch should feel lucky, considering everything that's happened since the walkers arrived and ended the world. He's alive and living in a relatively safe place among his family, all limbs fully intact and his eyes kept blind to some of the horrors witnessed by the others.

He figures this is one of those quiet moments; all feelings- physical and emotional- seem to be flooding through his blood to upset his stomach and brain. He’s stopped fiddling with the damaged solar panel, unable to give it his full concentration due to the nagging of these thoughts.

He’s concluded that the apocalypse is lonely.

It’s such an odd thing to think about, especially considering that he’s surrounded by the others and the walking dead. Lonely shouldn’t be the first word to come to mind. This family he’s gained, one much stronger and more supportive than the one he shared blood with in the past, move around him every day. They speak, they laugh, they fight, they sit in silence and enjoy each other’s quiet company.

Being lonely shouldn’t be an issue, but years and years of survival being a number one priority tends to push other things to the side, things that Mitch often felt guilty or embarrassed thinking about.

It’s hard to feel things in the apocalypse, much less express them. While he does have Willy, a boy he considers his brother, there are certain things he would never share with him. Never.

As for the others… well, he'd rather keep to himself in the end.

Mitch knows he staring, but he doesn’t bother to stop. Resting his chin on his arms, most of his face obscured by the solar panel anyway, he knows they won’t notice him.

Clementine and Louis stand over by the gate, smiling and talking-

Well, Clementine's talking.

Louis' expressions and hands are all he has left to speak for him.

He’s back from a hunting trip with Aasim and Willy. Mitch watched as Clementine greeted him with a hug when they all walked through the gates. It was a little awkward with her crutches and the rodent being in the way. Louis tossed the thick possum he had draped over his shoulder to Willy and smiled down at her with a grin so wide and full of glee that Mitch could clearly see it all the way from where he was.

Then, Clementine reached up, cupped his cheek, and brought him down for a slow, warm kiss.

He doesn't know how they do it- fuck, he doesn't know how Louis does it.

For months after the delta, he wouldn't look anyone in the eye, he wouldn't eat in front of others, and he sure as hell wouldn't let Clementine touch his face, much less kiss him. Not that he couldn’t be happy sometimes. He could smile and lowly chuckle, and wink and give thumbs up and play his piano and assure everyone he was okay, but they all knew he truly wasn’t, especially when they all turned away and left him alone.

Mitch can remember nights when he’d be outside and Louis would walk by him. He still expected him to whip out that deck of cards of his, smirk, and ask him to play. It never happened, of course. Louis just walked past him with his eyes lowered to the ground and his brows furrowed with sorrow, or perhaps pain.

How long does it take for a tongue to heal after being cut out?

Even Ruby couldn’t give an estimate.

Mitch doesn’t like to think about that- it does something weird to his stomach and causes a tingle to run along his jaw and into his teeth. Fuck.

On particularly bad nights, Clementine would plop down beside him on the steps when everyone else went inside and bury her face in her hands. It was the same worries and regrets as always, and the only thing he could do is place a hand on her shoulder and tell her everything’s fine, that Louis is alive and healing more and more each day. Sometimes he made up shit just to make her feel better. Sometimes he told her something about himself to distract her. Sometimes he just sat there uselessly until she left.

Louis got better over the years; learning his own brand of sign, playing his piano, writing in a book that Aasim gave him, doing art projects with Tenn, and eventually, agreeing to go on more dates with Clementine.

Soon, it was like he was his chipper self again; a Louis full of smiles and jokes, and in turn, Clementine became happier, more content and comfortable.

How the fuck do they do it?

How do they make it work between them after everything they’ve been through? How does Clementine know everything Louis wants to say, and how Louis know the right way to pick her up and carry her to where she needs to be? How do they trust and laugh and love each other the way they do?

How do they deal with those... feelings?

On top of the walking dead, the potential threat of death- or something worse- breathing in the air every moment of the day, and the constant struggle to maintain something as worthy and safe as the school and the family within it, they also had to deal with gross feelings?

They know the risks of romance, yet it’s like they don’t care. How do they not care?

Watching Clementine and Louis kiss used to make him roll his eyes, mutter, and look away with annoyance and disgust. He never stopped to watch from the corner of his eye with such questions until this past year.

Now, when they kissed in front of him, it made him feel gross in a different way, like he’s unintentionally intruding on those tender moments out of pure curiosity.

Because now, when he watches Clementine and Louis kiss, all he can think about is James.

Goddamn James.

He taps his agitated fingers against the handle of his screwdriver while continuing to inconspicuously observe the couple as they move away from the gates.

He finds himself peering down at their connected hands. Mitch hears something about “tuning the piano” … whatever the fuck that means, before Louis takes away her crutches and scoops her up into his arms like she weighs nothing. Clementine laughs, playfully glaring at him as they walk across the yard. Louis leans over to kiss her on the cheek before they disappear behind the double doors.

What it must be like to just… lean over and kiss someone like it was the most normal thing in the world and have no one bat an eye at it. Or, to reach over and grab someone’s hand and hold it, to walk around connected to that person so tenderly. Never, not in a million goddamn years, would Mitch ever dream of doing that.

Kissing and handholding is… gross .

Gross until he begins to think of James again. It becomes much less gross after that.

These gross thoughts of kissing and touching and disgusting mushiness are what keeps him tossing and turning in his bed at night and it’s beginning to drive him insane because how can another human being have this kind of power over him?

Mitch, humiliated by his own thoughts, buries his face in his arms and groans. God, what’s wrong with him?

In his frustration, he gathers up his things, tucking the solar panel under his arm and strides over to the basement doors. The coolness of the basement pressing into his warm skin makes his side as he moves down the stairs, but still, even as he sets himself up at his workbench, those intrusive and embarrassing thoughts still prod at his mind.

It’s always prodding at his mind now. Ever since the disaster that was defeating the delta and losing Violet and thinking Tenn was dead and bringing Louis home in his condition and being petrified that Clementine wouldn’t make it and when James finally agreed to join the group.

The screwdriver falls to the cement floor with a startling clang! , causing Mitch to flinch and mutter a string of awful curses.

“Fucking fuck shit-” Mitch snatches up the tool and jams it back into his toolbox with a heavy sigh.

Mitch swore to himself that he’d never fall in love.

He wasn’t ever going to deal with this shit.

Romance didn’t have a place for him in this world, that he was so damn sure of. He always thought he was safe from it all given he’s spent most of his life around the same people without experiencing such feelings. Ruby? Aasim? Marlon or Brody? Clementine? Louis, Sophie or Minerva? Nothing. Not once did he ever look at any of them and think,“Yeah, I’d play tonsil tennis with them!”

Until he got to know James.

“Fuck.”

To fall in love would always be an ultimate downfall- always.

He watched it happen to his parents, he watched it happen to Violet and Minerva, to Marlon and Brody, to several other couples over the years surrounding the school- they’re all dead.

Except for Clementine and Louis.

And it makes no goddamn sense.

Mitch scoffs.

Perhaps suffering with the loss of a tongue and a leg gave you a free pass. You can be in love all you want and kiss and hug and sleep together and cuddle and do all that gross shit for the rest of your life, you just have to give up an important body part in exchange.

“What kind of fucking world is this?” he mumbles, using his teeth to tear off a piece of duct tape. Slapping the sticky strip where it needs to be, he leans back to examine his work. Hopefully, it should work again now that he’s rehooked some of the wires and patched up the crack.

Then, he laughs.

It’s not a humorous laugh, or even really a bitter one. He just doesn’t know what else to do, so he chuckles quietly to himself as he rubs at his eyes and runs his fingers through his hair.

And in the silence of the basement, he simply says, “Goddamn James.”

The source of all this gross nonsense.

Mitch couldn’t stand the guy at first. He wore walker skin and he didn’t care if Willy thought that was the coolest thing in the world, it was enough to make Mitch want to bolt in the other direction. The only reason he didn’t put up more of a fight to keep him from staying at the school was that he helped save Clementine’s life.

Without James’ help in pushing the wheelbarrow carrying a dying Clementine, who knows if AJ would’ve made it back to the school in time. He’ll always be grateful to him for that.

Over the years, he and James have, well… grown closer, to say the least. And it wasn’t until recently that he discovered James’ feelings matched his own, thanks to Willy.

“-but he came back, didn’t he?”

“So?”

“You’re still mad?”

“If he doesn’t want to stay here where it’s safe, fine, but don’t up and leave for weeks at a time without telling anybody anything and then come back like nothing happened! Who fucking does that?”

“Don’t be mad-”

“Why? He needs to make up his goddamn mind and not string everybody along with him.”

“But, he promised he’d stay this time.”

“He said the same thing before.”

“Aren’t you happy he’s here?”

“Don’t matter what I think.”

“...You know what I think?”

“Hm?”

“I think he came back for you.”

“That’s… stupid.”

“No, it’s not.”

“...”

“He looks at you a lot, y’know... like the way Louis looks at Clem.”

Thinking back on it now, how did he not notice the signs earlier? The constant stolen glances, the lingering touches when James offered to train him on the many uses knives have, the brightening eyes whenever they saw each other from across the yard, the nights they volunteered to go on watch together just so that they could talk, James willingly opening up to him about his less-than-kind past…. Everything.

To call this love might be jumping to conclusions, but holy shit, it’s something. And it’s something that scares the shit out of him.

Because the thought of reaching over to pull James into a kiss has crossed his mind too many times, and the idea of James kissing him back does something awful to his stomach and chest.

He’s thought of just manning up and confronting James about what happening between them, but that tiny thought of “falling in love is always the ultimate downfall” creeps into his mind and he chickens out.

And then the thoughts only get worse.

Because really, which is more tragic? Losing someone you felt for but never got the chance to express it, or losing someone who, in the end, knew how you felt and returned such feelings?

Is the risk worth it?

The fact that this is even a legitimate question with only negative outcomes proves his point in that the end of the world is fucked up.

Clementine and Louis deem it worth it, obviously. He can hear one of those dumb speeches Louis used to make now; “The only thing we really got is this moment. It’s the only guarantee we have. Tomorrow might not come, so enjoy today.”

He wonders who took the risk first, Clementine or Louis?

Something small, warm and hopeful, spreading across his mind. If things worked out for them... then really, why shouldn't they work out for him? Unless the end of the world really did deem him unlovable, then why shouldn't he try? Impending death or not?

He nearly falls off his stool when the basement doors fling open with an eardrum breaking screech and thud.

“Mitch?” Willy’s voice echoes down the stairs, excited and loud. “James’ back!”

Well, fuck.

“Enjoy today,” he mumbles. “Take a risk.”

Or continue to remain in the safety of silence...

"Fuck."

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the-light-followed · 5 years ago

Text

THE LIGHT FANTASTIC (1986) [DISC. #2; RINCEWIND #2]

“What shall we do?’ said Twoflower. ‘Panic?’ said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means of survival; back in the olden days, his theory went, people faced with hungry sabre-toothed tigers could be divided very simply into those who panicked and those who stood there saying ‘What a magnificent brute!’ and ‘Here, pussy.”

Rating: 5/10

Standalone Okay: No

Read First: ABSOLUTELY NO.

Discworld Books Masterpost: [x]

* * * * * * * * * *

If The Colour of Magic is a bad place to start reading Discworld, The Light Fantastic is 100% worse. Not because it’s bad, because it’s absolutely an improvement on its predecessor. It’s just that The Colour of Magic ends on a cliffhanger (only in the metaphorical sense; in the literal sense, Rincewind has just fallen off the cliff). The Light Fantastic picks up exactly where it left off, with only a little exposition or explanation to soften the shift from one to the next. I tend to think of The Light Fantastic as more like The Colour of Magic: Part 2, Now We’re Getting Somewhere, because, well, now we’re getting somewhere.

Folks, we finally have a cohesive, over-arching plot! We have stakes greater than “let’s not get killed by this latest thing that wants us dead!” We have purpose, and drive, and successful barbarian heroes so old they lack teeth and have to make dentures out of diamond, and I love absolutely every bit of it!

In what will quickly become obvious is the norm for him, Rincewind’s life continues to be a series of upsetting things happening one after the other. Some highlights from The Light Fantastic include:

Being forcibly teleported (back) onto the Disc by the parasitically-attached Great Spell living in his brain, after falling over the Rimfall. Reality is completely rewritten to do this, but everything remains exactly the same except Rincewind’s new position clinging to the top of a pine tree. (Twoflower gets dropped back onto the Disc as well, but that seems mostly incidental.)

Going to the land of Death while still alive, picking up his mostly-dead friend, and running right back out to the land of the living.

Camping in the mouth of a giant troll the size of a mountain, while being held captive by mercenaries. Somehow only the mercenaries end up dead.

Being attacked by wizards and Things from the Dungeon Dimensions, and fighting said wizards and Things in life-or-death battles.

Using the most powerful magical book on the Disc, possibly the most magical item full-stop, and then afterwards, allowing said item to be eaten by the carnivorous sentient Luggage for safekeeping. Rincewind ends up owning the Luggage before the end of the story—so technically, he still has this wildly dangerous book.

Oh, and saving the world, of course. He also does that.

I love, love, love the way Pratchett writes ‘heroes’ vs. how he writes his protagonists. Absolutely none of his protagonists are the stereotypical hero, and his stories are better for it.

Quick sidetrack to define terms: when I say ‘stereotypical hero,’ I’m talking about the kind of lawful good protagonists you see in most high fantasy adventure stories or superhero comics, the stuff with worldwide or even cosmic stakes. They’re typically well-trained or have some kind of special skills, or they acquire special training/skills along the way. They almost always set out specifically to save the world, and typically do not have any ulterior motives beyond it being ‘the right thing to do.’ Usually, they’re strong and rugged manly men with impressive jawlines. I’m talking Aragorn from Lord of the Rings. I’m talking Captain America and Superman. I’m talking the real Boy Scout types.

Truth, justice, and apple pie—or whatever the regional-specific pastry of choice might be!

Pratchett’s heroes are not that. They’re cowards. They’re scared or confused or unprepared, or making the whole thing up as they go along. They’re fools, alcoholics, con men. They’re salty old ladies and know-it-all young girls. If there is a stereotypical hero-type character, they’re going to be a foil for the actual main character, and they won’t stay perfectly pure and uncomplicated for long—I’m thinking specifically Carrot, though we’ll talk about him later when we get to the City Watch books.

Here, what we get is Rincewind. And he is as far from a stereotypical hero as it is possible to be, probably because he would have started sprinting full-speed away from the thought before anyone finished saying it out loud. Rincewind doesn’t save the world because he suddenly found his courage, or developed bonus superpowers, or found some kind of magical sword to do the fighting for him. (He actually found the sword back in The Colour of Magic, hated every second of it, and got rid of it as soon as possible. Goodbye and good riddance to Kring the magic sword.) He hasn’t secretly had the courage inside of himself all along.

Rincewind saves the world because he’s got nowhere left to run, and that’s excellent.

I’m going to save a lot of my rambling about Pratchett’s deconstruction of the concept of ‘heroes’ for when I get to Guards! Guards! and later City Watch books, since Carrot is, like I said, both the main example and the central thesis. But it is very important for everyone to understand: for me, nothing is more satisfying from a literary perspective than knowing that, at the end of the Discworld series, coward and hero-only-by-accident-or-mistake Rincewind is one of the two people in contention for the spot as ‘ultimate savior of the world, the universe, and all of existence.’ The other is a teenage girl.

Honestly, the only reason I think Rincewind might edge her out for the title is because he technically saved a slightly larger slice of reality with this whole escapade. In Tiffany’s defense, I’m 98% sure she hadn’t been born yet when this whole thing went down, so we really can’t blame her for not solving it first. If she were there, she’d have it handled, and that’s just objective truth.

But Rincewind. Rincewind. At the end of The Light Fantastic, the dude’s spent two whole books screaming and running whenever something tries to kill/maim/eat/threaten him. The audience has absolutely figured out by this point that while he’s smart and sarcastic and surprisingly speedy, he’s totally useless in a conflict. His priority is saving his own skin, not dashing feats of derring-do or whatever it is heroes are supposed to do.

And yet with the end of the world looming, his back against the wall, and no real place left to run, when the Big Baddie demands that he give up the last Great Spell, the one last thing preventing the immediate destruction of everything and everyone, we get this from Rincewind:

“If it stops anywhere, it stops here, thought Rincewind. ‘You’ll have to take it,’ he said. ‘I won’t give it to you.’”

And that’s it. That’s what saves the world. Not a stereotypical hero, not a hero of legend, not a mythic champion showing up for a final glorious battle—it’s a Pratchett hero. It’s an everyday guy, a coward and a failure, dragged in by accident and against his will. It’s an average person, nothing really special, who looks at something that he knows is wrong and that he’s sure will hurt him for disobeying. And yet he still says no. It stops here.

Even rats fight back, as Rincewind himself says.

This is the moment that really sells me on Rincewind’s character, every time. Even before Pratchett was really taking Rincewind or the Discworld seriously, even while the whole thing is still one massive joke more often than not, he’s still given the readers a POV character who feels believably real. He’s scared shitless, he’s tired, he’s sarcastic, and he doesn’t want to be there. But that’s too damn bad, because he’s the one there, and if he doesn’t do this, no one else will.

And maybe Rincewind’s not Superman, but he still does it. He succeeds, he saves the day, and—despite everything—he’s somehow the hero of this story. Screaming all the way, maybe, but he still gets it done.

[Paul Kidby does incredible Discworld art, including some of the amazing cover art for the books. You can find a lot of it on his website— www.paulkidby.com. This one,The Colour of Magic, stars Rincewind, Twoflower, and their dramatic escape from the Wyrmberg.]

While we’re on the subject of heroes, we can’t skip over Cohen the Barbarian, who makes his debut here in The Light Fantastic. Now, Cohen is technically a hero, but this is still not in the ‘stereotypical hero’ sense—it’s literally his job. It’s the thing he writes in the little box marked ‘Occupation’ on his tax forms, or at least it would be if he actually paid any taxes. Or if he actually wrote things down.

For Cohen, being a hero is how he makes a profit and pays the bills, and he is very, very good at it. That’s 100% objective truth, and I know that for sure, because the man is old as the hills and still gets into life-or-death fights about twice a day, and that’s the sort of thing that gets you dead very quickly if you aren’t very good at what you do.

But Cohen still isn’t a stereotypical hero. He does a lot of looting and pillaging, and his body count over the Rincewind books is—wow, it’s up there. It’s a real doozy. It’s hard to call his work heroism when it’s hardly a smidge to the left of repeated, outright murder. I’ll probably circle back around to this in Interesting Times and The Last Hero, because there are some really interesting points made there about the ways that Cohen and his contemporaries play at heroes and villains like they’re a sort of performance they’re putting on rather than a moral act or a choice made out of necessity. But I will say now that putting Cohen in the same storylines as Rincewind really does put both characters into a more complex and interesting light. Rincewind, the coward-not-hero, and Cohen, the fearless warrior, can kind of play off of each other.

It just goes to show Pratchett’s grasp of people as people, and not unidimensional cardboard cutouts. Nobody’s always right. Nobody is always wrong. And real people don’t always stand up to perfect, pure concepts of what we think they should be.

Also, since Cohen is about a billion years old, we get little gems like his toothless lisp before he picks up some dentures, a concept that Twoflower brings with him from the Counterweight Continent. (Or, as Cohen calls them, dine chewers. That, friends, is a pune, or a play on words.) Also, because he’s Cohen and therefore a dramatic bastard, the dentures are solid diamond. It’s not as if the man can’t afford it, I guess?

I do want to take a little side trip into some other new details that pop up in The Light Fantastic, specifically the more in-depth stuff about Unseen University and the wizards. The wizards are a lot of fun in the early Discworld books, specifically if you’re really bloodthirsty, because up until Ridcully arrives in Moving Pictures there’s quite a lot of turnover in Unseen University staff. The wizards are backstabbing bastards early on, and it’s almost jarring to compare the shifty, power-hungry jerks in The Light Fantastic and Sourcery to the fat, lazy hedonists they’ll become. We do get an impression of them as a collective that will stay pretty consistent as we move forward: their values, their skills, the way they do magic.

This is important not only because it establishes a lot of lasting detail for stories involving Rincewind, the University, and the city of Ankh-Morpork, but also because we’re about to get our first glimpse of the witches. (Hey-o, here comes Equal Rites!) With a lot of this stuff mapped out in advance, it makes it easier to run a compare-and-contrast of what’s going on with the two main schools of magic users on the Disc, what’s different between them, what’s the same—and the positives and negatives in them both. (Again, hey-o, Equal Rites! That all is about to be the whole damn point.)

I think it’s also fun to note that The Light Fantastic features the brief run of Galder Weatherwax as Archchancellor of the Unseen University, A.K.A. He Who Dies So Granny Weatherwax Can Have His Frankly Excellent Name. Granny Weatherwax is the steel-souled spine of the witches, and the driving force of their run of books, and it’s kind of hilarious to think that Terry Pratchett did the writer’s equivalent of digging through a graveyard to give her a name. This theft is later lampshaded and then ignored; Granny says something briefly about Galder Weatherwax being a distant cousin she barely knew, and the whole thing is never mentioned again from then on out. I can’t exactly remember where, and it might even have been in a short story or one of the side books Pratchett eventually put together, not in a novel. Honestly, who cares—Granny Weatherwax is such a force of nature that it only takes a few minutes to forget that her name ever could have belonged to anyone but herself.

But Granny Weatherwax is not a discussion for The Light Fantastic. It’s time to move on to Equal Rites!

* * * * * * * * * *

Side Notes:

This is the book where the Unseen University Librarian is changed into an orangutan. It happens early on in a magical accident, as the grimoire containing the Eight Great Spells attempts to save Rincewind and the spell trapped in his mind, and he is never reverted to human form.

He is referenced but does not appear in The Colour of Magic.

At no point anywhere in the Discworld does he appear in human form. At no point does he have lines in human language. He is never named. At no point is he described as he was prior to this change, except that the orangutan he becomes is initially said to look “like the head librarian,” so presumably he was already a bit orangutan-ish.

For something as weird as this is, and for something with such long-lasting repercussions, it is treated in the moment as a thing of very little importance—except, of course, that now he has to be paid in bananas. I find this absolutely delightful.

Tim Curry plays the wizard Trymon in the BBC miniseries The Colour of Magic, which combines The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic. Trymon only appears in The Light Fantastic in the books, and I can’t read it anymore without picturing Tim Curry in his ridiculous robes and shoes, with his ridiculous overdramatic murder plots, working his way up to the top just to die a ridiculous death.

No, really. Look at this hat. Look at this goatee. Only Tim Curry has the acting chops to pull this off.

Death once again appears, and this time we also get to see his house and his daughter, Ysabell! I can see why it didn’t take long to go from here to Mort: the concept is way too good to leave to little snatches and side appearances.

Krysoprase the troll shows up for the first time in this book. Later, he’ll be known as Chrysoprase, and will make appearances in several other Discworld novels: Feet of Clay, Wyrd Sisters, and, notably, Thud. There’s also a troll named Breccia in The Light Fantastic; Breccia will become the name of Chrysoprase’s gang in Ankh-Morpork.

While going through my copy of The Light Fantastic to work on this post, I glanced at the cover and briefly thought I was losing my mind. At the bottom, there’s a blurb talking about beloved Discworld character “Conan the Barbarian”—but up until that moment I was 100% certain the beloved barbarian on the Disc was named “Cohen.” Turns out I’m not crazy, it’s just that the literal cover of the book decides to make a reference to the character that Cohen is parodying rather than to Cohen himself. And this is the 2008 print edition, not an early run or a badly-assembled e-reader edition, which means it’s being released by a professional publishing company a full 22 years after the original novel came out. It’s not like nobody’s had time to look over the material and do some copy-editing.

* * * * * * * * * *

Favorite Quotes:

“The important thing about having lots of things to remember is that you’ve got to go somewhere afterwards where you can remember them, you see? You’ve got to stop. You haven’t really been anywhere until you’ve got back home.”

“Do you think there’s anything to eat in this forest?” “Yes,” said the wizard bitterly, “us.”

“Not for the first time she reflected that there were many drawbacks to being a swordswoman, not least of which was that men didn't take you seriously until you'd actually killed them, by which time it didn't really matter anyway.”

“Are you a hero, actually?” “Um, no. Not as such. Not at all, really. Even less than that, in fact.”

#discworld #rincewind #the light fantastic

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lifeofacomplexmixedgirl · 5 years ago

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Surviving a Quarter-life Crisis

15-minute read | to be listened with: ‘Our Destiny’ by Hinda Hicks

It's November 30th, and I'm sitting at the corner of the bed, having a panic attack, hiding underneath the warmest cobija I could find in Tio Edwin's cold and abandoned room. The only clean and conveniently isolated corner of this entire house - buried behind mountains of hoarded clothes, furniture, and mail from the '80s - to shield myself from Abuela's nightly rage. If I silence my thoughts, I can hear her shouting from the attic, "Pinche cayajera…siempre yendo y viniendo. You make me so mad!" Five minutes later, she's baiting me with a peace meal, "Mija, ya comiste? I cook for you some arroz," only to get caught in her next course of torment - no, thank you.

Surrounded by unfinished ink drawings plastered along the walls, a few discarded guitars, and a hot wheel collection, I volunteer to solitary confinement as I wait till she exhausts herself to sleep. Tonight's interrogation began the same as every other - with my face cradled in my hands, asking, "why the fuck am I here?". I fall back onto the bed, close my eyes, and take deep breaths until my mind saturates with fantasies of the free and steady life I long for. The sight of my own home decorated with open space, natural light, greenery, walls filled with photos, and shelves of books evokes earlier memories of what I used to have. Suddenly, my mind becomes inflamed with countless regrets, and I cry - depending on my tears to flood away the fires that have been set ablaze inside of me for some time. Feeling desiccated, I reach for the phone and call the only person who can restore me... mom.

Answering the first ring, I immediately drop a dumbbell of weightless questions in hopes she will have the solutions to maybe one or two - but let's be honest - all of my problems.

"Um… hello? Ma, did you hear what I said?" I ask irritably.

"I'm listening… sounds like you're having a quarter-life crisis kid," she jokingly remarks.

"Ha ha ha…-_- I need to get out of this house like now. Abuela is stressing me OUT! I ain't gonna make it…" I respond in desperation.

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

"PLEEEASE!"

"Be cool, gymshoe. I just dropped your brother off at home. I'll be there in about an hour."

"Alright, bet."

I'm checking the time every few minutes, then finally an hour elapses. A rush of energy fills my body, and I jump out the bed, grab my jacket, and race out the back door in an escape. Just in time, I see mom pull up through the rain, and I hop in the driver's seat as she climbs over to the passenger side. "You hungry, lovebug?" she asks. "I stay hungry," I assure her. We bop in-sync to our favorite R&B throwbacks driving east down Division to scoop a pound of jumbo shrimp from Goose Island and make our way to my mom's mentor and long-time friend, Dr. O.

Dr. O'Bannon is the epitome of black excellence - a woman of independence, knowledge, and self-love. Dining at her table, pouring glasses of cabernet wine, in a high-rise that overlooks Navy Pier and Lake Michigan, everything about her exuded strength. As she and my mother are sharing childhood stories, ancestry, and accomplishments, I'm leaning in to listen and absorb it all. After a few hours, I'm so inspired and loaded with courage that I ask her if she would be open to having me as a guest for a week, and with the help of my mom, she accepted.

And with this new blessing, I'm setting out to heal, learn, and reach a higher state of self because in ten days... I'll be 25.

How I Prepared Turning 25 in Ten Days

Day One: Sunday

I woke up to a new day, new week, new month, so I decided to start my day by doing something active. League of Their Own, a Chicago based women's recreational sports group that meets up every other Sunday, was holding a double dutch event - I couldn't miss out on the opportunity to enjoy some culture and bask in positive girl energy. Afterward, I had a healthy breakfast - drank some fire peach coffee - and engaged in pleasant conversation at Peach's in Bronzeville with one of my homegirls. Then I kicked it back to the crib for the rest of the day to indulge in self-care rituals and prepare for the week ahead.

What it cost: $20 (splendid breakfast + tip) What I gained: Strength and timing - I have to get my footwork right before I step into the new decade.

Day Three: Tuesday

On my way home from work, I decided to take a detour through Millenium Park, and I saw everyone crowd around the rink to watch the staff resurface the ice. Out of curiosity, I went to inquire about admission and told myself, "If this is more than $15, I ain't skating". Ha - it was $13, so I took it as a sign to go out there and take a break from adulthood. Unconcerned about time or priorities, I put my headphones on, skated for an hour, and reminisced on my favorite childhood memories. Remembering when my mom placed me in ice-skating classes for the first time and how much I loved it. I couldn't remember why I stopped going, but alas, there I was - my child-like spirit being awakened inside of me.

What it cost: $13 (skate-rental) What I gained: Childish innocence - my most appreciated attribute - and a new activity to keep every Tuesday during the winter to stay active.

Day Five: Thursday

I picked a route and stuck to walking home for the rest of the week. With an enormous love for all things design, I stopped by the Chicago Cultural Center to check out the Chicago Architecture Biennial. I have this goal for when I turn 30, which is to go back to school for architecture, design my family's home in Mexico, and successfully retire as 'the ultimate designer.' I walked through the exhibit, sat down, and sketched. I looked up at my favorite piece and just knew that this was something I'm committed to accomplishing.

What it cost: FREE (Admission is always free to the public) What I gained: Inspiration and reassurance of my future goals.

Day Seven: Saturday

After drill, I stopped by Abuela's to pick up some things. I made my way towards the back door, and when I opened it, there stood at the top of the stairs, my Tio Huber's savage-ass dogs. I was still until one started barking, and the other three charged for me. "Oh shit," is all I could think as I turned around and dipped. Once I made it to the gate, I felt a sharp pain pierce through my thigh and pull me back before I could jump over. At that moment, I gave up and broke down in tears - because as much as I've tried to keep my spirits high and pass on positive energy, I'm always thrown a curveball. I let them bite and claw at me as I made my way back to the door to attempt to run again upstairs.

While trying to care for the wound and Abuela shouting at me, I realized that my time living here has come to an end, and come January, I need a new place to stay. Sharing this news with her made her even more upset, but I left for the hospital, accepting my circumstances. On my way out, my tio's friend shares with me, "Life is really kicking your ass right now...everything is going to be okay, remember it's only temporary. The universe is preparing you for something greater." - Great, what in the possible world could the universe be preparing me for? -_-

What it cost: We're not even getting into this... What I gained: Acceptance.

Day Nine: Monday

I took it slow today. I went to work, then home.

As I poured a glass of wine and appreciated the views, I reflected on the past 5 years of my life. I pulled out my secret journal, wrote down my lessons, blessings, goals, and planned my next steps. What else should do I be doing the night before I turn 25?

What it cost: It doesn't cost anything to invest in yourself. What I gained: Closure and enthusiasm for a new and healthy beginning.

Day Ten: Happy 25th Birthday

"Happy 25th birthday to me!" I yelled in excitement- I hope I didn't wake Dr. O, but I couldn't help it. I usually keep special days like this to myself and only share with close friends, but I wanted to make an announcement to the world that I'm here, healed, healthy, and loved. I went to work and had a beautiful dinner with Dr. O. It was the perfect night to wind down from an amazing week.

I planned a get-together tomorrow night with all of my day ones at my favorite bar, Estereo, so my birthday isn't over until I'm hungover, haha!

What it cost: Vulnerability and patience. What I gained: Genuine support, long-time friends, and healthy relationships.

It's hard for me to accept that things aren't going to go the way I intended, but I've learned to accept it because everything really does happen for a reason. One of the biggest lessons I learned this year is to lead a life with no expectations because life itself is unexpected - who we meet, where we go, what we say, when things happen - that way, I'll never be disappointed.

Your girl, ~Eva

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iseul2056-blog · 6 years ago

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hiii everyone! i’m finally here. this is rosé bringing in my son, byun iseul, who’s also the biggest sponsor to damsu. tl;dr he’s a robin hood-esque slash masked vigilante that happened to have a superstitious father that foresaw a kind of incoming apocalypse, thus training him for survival. if you’d like to plot with him, i’m easily reachable via discord ( rosé.#6236 ) more than tumblr im, although i don’t mind the latter either. just like this plot and i’ll come running to you! without further ado, i’m going to dump information about iseul under the read more!

INTRODUCTION.

birthed in one of the richest families in south korea 5031, his father and mother used to be that quixotic couple with his father leading in a multitude of industries as both a stakeholder and in some, owner. both parents came from long lines of inherited money, legacies that only expanded in his father’s hands.

his father was rather unorthodox, predicting that the world would collapse soon with theories to back him up. survival of the fittest, so he trained iseul in terms of physical and material and mental advances. he was homeschooled until the end of primary school, attending various courses to support and enhance his physical and intellectual capabilities.

his friends as a child came from the same social circles, especially from his mother’s side as she is a socialite. when he started school in a public setting, he went along well with some people while remaining private for the most parts of himself. has a penchant for compartmentalization for sure. dishonest as a person in general, and in result of realizing this himself, has slight trust issues.

when he was twelve, his mother left the family due to not having enough attention from his father mostly — who was always busy with both work and thoughts. his mother remarried two years after the divorce, and her new husband is also within the same social status as them, so iseul did have a period where he would avoid attending galas and the likes.

he loved his father, and always does, but there are significant values that his father held which he couldn’t truly grasp, let alone practice. it enveloped the entire view of having their money for themselves, including preserving any means to survive the collapse. every man for himself was basically how his father drilled him, but he grew a good conscience that led him to feel internally conflicted.

unbeknownst to his father, he often stole from fellow influencers to give the money towards the poor. this was done out of slight malice, in which he believes that every rich person should be contributing to the cause. and when the great divide occurred, there was a huge rift between his father and him for the first time in forever. the difference in principles made him run away for approximately a few months, until his father summoned him during the last dying breath.

in 2054, he inherited his father’s wealth in its unadulterated form, including the bribes, the corruptions, the malpractices. he started understanding to what extent his father was willing to preserve their safety in a world where money rules. it touched him, yet startled him in a sense that he’s certain all the hates would be redirected towards him later on as the face of this extreme affluence.

he made a few changes to the companies his father previously had a power in, and started building and reaching out towards more ecosystemic endeavors. his money is mostly delegated to the greater good, spending so much to support the attempts to make seoul a better place. when he deemed it wasn’t enough anymore, he began to steal small, thanks to his father’s years of harnessing his abilities.

in 2055, he started adopting the alias zero, as both a masked vigilante and also a thief, a robber. he’s been creating a lattice of networks both inside and outside the borders, although it took a while for those in the outskirts to believe in his cause when he barely keeps in contact with them apart from dropping sums of necessities. his presence renders some dysphoria to happen, with some factions getting more fragmented seeing what he’s been doing for the poor.

his façade is definitely polished to perfection, parading accordingly to his status as a really wealthy man. he’s amicable, but he keeps his distance from most people, especially those who appear close to him. his lies are often coherent and cohesive, causing people to think it’s his actual self, when in fact, it’s somewhere far. he’s actually fairly private, constantly wedging a gap with others, although some managed to penetrate the barriers, getting to know him a tad deeper.

as his front in his daily lives, he has a dozen of bodyguards and k9 dogs to protect him. it makes him seem even more unreachable as it is, as it gets under his skin when plenty of people inquire over donation because of his status as damsu’s biggest sponsor. also, has enough servants for his old mansion, marbled with ivory walls.

actually distrustful towards the green party, and sides better with the poor since it’s whom he wants to protect. he has many underground channels as zero, helping him get his gears and technology, as well as other utilities he needs to perform his field thieveries. he’s not completely blank when it comes to hacking either, although he’d prefer allocating the work towards those more experienced than him.

he has a certain flair to his being zero, mixing various martial arts to concoct his own moves. parkour is a forte as well, with good instincts towards danger that he honed during his stay in the outskirts. will never show any fight as iseul seeing that people might be able to connect the dots if they notice his movement patterns.

CONNECTIONS.

the right hands ( 0 / 2 ): one person inside the border, and another in the outskirts to ensure that he can have backups sent to him as soon as he’s injured if necessary. they are the only ones who have discovered zero’s identity, and have been supporting iseul’s plans since he ran away from home. one of them might be a hacker and the other has connections with technological advancements.

rebel informants ( 0 / ? ): the outskirts people that happened to encounter him as zero — ones which exchange information with a sum of money, water, or sometimes with a deed. this is an underground channel that assists him in his endeavors; some of them would know his motives while some are there purely for the symbiosis.

the so-called social circle ( 0 / ? ): those who are of the well-off communities, meeting him as byun iseul. he’s one of the richest in the circle, and he’s always presenting himself well as his father’s successor. some of these connections could span from his childhood to adulthood. he tends to be charismatic, and oftentimes would refuse inebriating himself.

miscellaneous ( 0 / ? ): green party members, those working for the companies he’s sponsoring, also some journalists that make zero into news. also, victims of his stealing — especially stingy wealthy families.

INTERVIEWS.

what are your thoughts on the green party? are they really going to make a change?

❛ this might sound rather feigned to some, if not most, but i do want the best to occur for everyone’s benefits, even when it would cost me quite a fortune, and i urge for everyone else to do the same even when the price of a better world is not cheap. i understand that people will be in the sides they’ve chosen to be in, but we’re fighting for what we see as the better in any ways that we can. any ways that we see as… just. ❜ presses his lips into a thin line, as though he’s deep in thoughts. ❛ but i definitely want to believe that they would make a change, even if it has to come with various hurdles. in that sense, nonetheless, i wish that the next steps taken would bloom into something beneficial. ❜

on a scale from 1-10; how much have you suffered during the great divide and why?

❛ i didn’t deal with it entirely well when it comes to the psychological aspects, ❜ his syllables are almost too indifferent, edged with a distance set between him and the interviewer. ❛ however, compared to how the others outside our walls, physical and metaphorical, have suffered… i’d rate it as naught, almost. my battles were personal as they came, the great divide becoming nothing but an icing on top of it all… but i don’t suppose making this about myself is the right step to execute. suffering is, after all, relative… to rate it as a one, or a ten, they remain an illusionary perspective that i don’t think we can afford right now. material-wise, i did have no suffering to bear, but there were other aspects as well — ones which i don’t wish to disclose. ❜

what are your plans for the next few years? work? love? adopt an animal? any changes in your life?

❛ i’m not entirely sure. there are too many visions to be realized within a short span of this life that we have, with the crisis to be resolved. there are several plans in mind that i’d like to reap myself, of course, but my priorities lie in ensuring that there’s enough sustenance for everyone. ❜ a calm smile is splayed on his lips as he fixates his gaze. ❛ there’s a lot of worries, but as for me myself, i’d like to find more effective ways to maneuver around my line of work, distributing towards the better world than what we have now. as for love, i don’t think we’ll ever know when we’ll find the person that comprehends us best. it’s a matter of circumstances. animals, i don’t think i can divide my attention as of current, so the ones i have around me now have to suffice, even when i don’t take care of them personally. ❜

HEADCANONS.

circa survive, the world was never fractured for a boy that was prepared for when the structure would collapse. appa was a believer of anticlimactic armageddon, foreseeing the future just from the mere understandings in regards to the past and present. the fittest was destined to be a boy that shouldn’t be frail, and therefore, he was trained, groomed to the tallest skyscraper with a spine made of the strongest metal appa could get his hands on. appa lived in the paranoia that eventually killed him. there was no sustenance to a man that could never be sated; his lack of satisfaction led him to be one of the biggest giants in the industry. at home, appa was a figment of violent imagination, turning the only son malleable to seek delight from performing an open heart surgery on a nightly basis. there was knowledge poured into a casket too young, and iseul knew that when given a chance, appa would nail it shut with iseul alive inside. calculative, maladaptive, appa was everything that he was afraid of — the face of his night terrors, personified.

except appa eventually passed during the fall of the apocalypse. appa’s prediction was true, however: the world doesn’t come away with a bang. instead, it withers, slowly but surely. it’s been withering for a while now for a boy that grew into a man with too many teeth, and he’s been sinking all the canines into the core of this bereavement. appa paved a path that was too skewed for his liking, with the great divide erupting into a full-blown verbal argument between appa and him. there was an entire line that should’ve led to the head if he chased after the tail enough, and so, that’s what he did regardless of how appa disapproved. they should’ve utilized, exploited what they had as opposed to distributing it around the society. resources could be limited even when they probably were one of the wealthiest, their culture of affluence divided into too many strata. they fought, and he often walked away with anger. justice should’ve been preserved, but he wasn’t one to say a thing when he wasn’t one on the shorter end of the stick.

appa was his crux, still. the death did not do him well during the great divide, returning home to an open coffin ceremony. and so, for years he became complacent with what he inherited, trying to live off his legacy. when damsu came out unscathed, he was there first, believing that somewhat it was a compromise. and poured more into it until it became a bottomless well. he shouldn’t be the only one responsible when the rich still remained as the rich, the poor likewise. he began to steal, to lie, to cheat. everything that appa prepared him for in a world where there was no survival but through violence thrived in an environment that didn’t support justice. and so, he became the man in the myth, the modern robin hood with a supportive delegation with him as the head. he rebels against appa’s commitment towards selfishness, even if it costs him his sleep — a reminder that even after appa’s death, he still lives under appa’s shadows.

#2056intro #𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝟕𝐓𝐇 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄: ooc.

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journeysintowebcomics · 6 years ago

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Worm Liveblog #83

UPDATE 83: Panacea is On the Brink of Despair

Well that sure took a long time. I’m very sorry, everyone. When life gets busy, hobbies are the first ones to suffer. With some luck we’re going back to the usual level of delays and tardiness instead of the extraordinary tardiness this update had.

Last time the teams had managed to get out of the parts where the bombs would explode – except maybe Skitter. She also gained a giant beetle to ride and fly, thanks to Panacea’s powers. It won’t be long before some of Bakuda’s bombs explode. Will it work? Let’s see!

In the time we had remaining, I directed my mount as high as he could manage. My power gave me a sense of how far I was above the ground. My range formed a loose sphere around me, and as I made my way skyward, my power covered less and less ground, on a literal level. It wasn’t long before my power didn’t reach the ground beneath me.

In any other circumstances I’d say this is very dangerous and she shouldn’t be flying so high when she’s just a novice and her beetle doesn’t sound very experienced at flying, but...extenuating circumstances. A small chance of living through doing something risky is better than almost certain death on the ground. Fly away, Skitter!

While she flies, she philosophizes about how she was relying on her bugs so much to perceive the world around her. Not too long afterwards, a plane flies by, dropping the payload of bombs. Huh, so they weren’t already set on the ground already. I see. The target is the parking lot where Bonesaw and Jack were at.

You know, I wonder what’s the public’s opinion about the heroes’ plans. It’s not everyday the heroes literally bomb a place in the city. Not the most heroic maneuver ever, some may think. Also, these bombs seem to be normal – fire and blasts. I think these aren’t Bakuda’s. She was more than capable of making normal bombs, yeah, but I imagine most of them would have some sort of effect. I mean, she demonstrated how varied her effects can be, many arcs ago. Didn’t seem to me like she was stingy about using special bombs. I find believable she may have a cache of normal bombs, and that anything better than those are the trump card the heroes haven’t activated yet, but...yeah. Maybe these are normal bombs.

Now that the explosions started, Tattletale calls Skitter, and informs how things are going. Sounds like they’re safe for the time being. Good, just in the nick of time!

“Any idea if that did anything to Jack and Bonesaw? Or Crawler?”

Crawler would have loved to stand in middle of explosions, that’s for sure. Jack and Bonesaw...hard to say. I think that depends if the Siberian reached them in time, something that’s possible.

There’s a possibility Jack and Bonesaw survived by escaping into some place that could be of use. Like the sewers! Or...a bank vault? Last I checked this was in middle of a parking lot, right after being attacked by heroes. Unless there was a very convenient bank vault awaiting nearby, no way they’re there! The sewers are a bit more likely, but I’m not sure how wise it’s to hide underground when there’s bombs falling. A cave-in is a terrifying possibility. So I stand on the theory the Siberian may have reached them in time.

The current priority is find out where people are at. For example! Where’s Crawler? Is he about to pounce from the top of a building to stab people with his tongue? Sundancer will deal with the fire, extinguishing it and making sure they’ll have enough leeway to search for the villain targets. Otherwise Skitter wouldn’t be able to do anything because her bugs continue being extremely vulnerable to fire. Hm. Now that I think about it...

...is her giant beetle resistant to fire? I sure hope so. It’d be awful to lose such a great asset.

“You haven’t seen Legend?”

“No.”

“Then I’d bet he’s still chasing Siberian. Or minimizing the damage she can do, anyways”

Oh, okay! If Legend is pursuing her, then it isn’t so likely she reached Bonesaw and Jack. That’s good! In that case, then I guess those two really did hide in the sewers.

The situation is evaluated. Skitter takes a moment to answer my concerns and says her beetle is durable, but she’s paying a lot of attention to him anyway, just in case. Wouldn’t want to plunge into a sea of flames! And since her bugs can’t search because...well, fire, it takes her some time to navigate and check around.

Had they died?

I can say without any doubts that they’re alive. It would be incredibly anticlimactic for them to die at a time like this. They’re so alive you won’t believe it. Very alive. It’s also noted the sewers and storm drains are habitable, the chance they slipped in one is feasible. Skitter may want to try to send a few bugs in there.

As expected, Crawler is having a grand time walking into the flames. Can’t be the first time he experiences such a thing, so I suppose he’s doing it simply because he can. The heroes are still on the place where they were frozen in time – well, most of them. Weld is fighting. Quite daring of him to fight in middle of a lot of fire. I doubt that would kill him because otherwise that’s a huge weakness in his power, but it can’t be pleasant.

It’s Mannequin, he’s fighting Mannequin. I had completely forgotten about him. He currently has four arms and is throwing a lot of vehicles at Weld, making him stick pretty close to Cache and Clockblocker. He gets ready to pile more and more vehicles, vehicles that will crush the heroes once Clockblocker’s timefreeze is over.

Worse, Cache was storing a number of the other heroes in his personal dimension. What would happen to them if he died?

Well, I don’t know much about Cache’s power, but if it’s his personal dimension then it’ll disappear once he dies, won’t it? Fwoop. Gone. Unless he’s actually using a dimension somewhere else that isn’t reliant on him for existing, in which case...the heroes would be trapped there forever. Which isn’t really a cheerier possibility. Weld better not fail at keeping Cache safe or it’ll all be over.

Bad news! The cars piled on top of Weld fall right onto Cache and Clockblocker when Mannequin manages to push Weld out of there, unless something’s done quickly, things are going to get ugly. Unfortunately for everyone involved, Skitter has no way to help here. The beetle is her only possibility and she doesn’t trust it’ll be of much use right now. All she can do is tell Tattletale the situation and hope things will be okay.

Finding Tattletale and the rest was easy enough. Skitter arrives, literally slams her beetle against the ground because she wasn’t able to direct it to extend its legs properly, and gives Panacea compliments about the beetle, as well as a couple suggestions.

“Its legs work through something like hydraulics. When it’s flying, it diverts those fluids to the flight system. Do you know how hard it was to make that thing able to fly? It’s not like I’ve practiced this sort of thing.”

“It’s fantastic,” I said. “Really. Thank you. Do you think you could work on making him a little bigger while I get prepared? I can supply the bugs.”

I think what Panacea did to create this thing was use the flesh and proteins of countless insects, possibly melting them together or something, and made the entire beetle. That’d mean Skitter has been riding the equivalent of a swarm of considerable proportions. That’s so cool! And weird – the good kind of weird.

Panacea’s immediate reply is a ‘no’. When Skitter tries to offer suggestions on how to achieve it, thinking it was something about physical limitations, Panacea tells her it’s that she doesn’t want to do it. Oh, geez...this song and dance keeps happening in this arc: Panacea says she won’t do something, Skitter convinces her she should, Panacea does it, some time passes before Panacea gets asked to do something again. At some point this cycle will break, I just hope it doesn’t keep happening further than this arc.

Skitter uses the argument that has worked well before: Glory Girl’s wellbeing. Panacea’s immediate reply is that Glory Girl is tough and will be okay, while having an expression that pretty much says she’s scared anything will happen to Glory Girl. Too bad she’s literally defenseless right now.

The plan: throw grenades or bombs, it seems. Kind of funny Skitter will have to resort to continue bombing the place, this time to save the heroes. Ballistic gives her several grenades, Trickster gives her a handgun. Behind her, Panacea caves and fixes the bug, continuing the cycle I mentioned two paragraphs ago. All in all, this may have taken a minute or so. Better hope Cache and Clockblocker are still frozen!

There was some underlying logic, but it wasn’t the same sort of instinctual behavior I was used to. As far as I could tell, she had set him up to continue whatever I’d last instructed him to do, so I didn’t need to maintain focus to keep him going.

I suppose it’s much different to mess with the brain of a bug than the brain of a human, because Panacea has no qualms with doing that. She rewired the brain to make it continue the last command Skitter gives it, effectively freeing her to do her own thing instead of having to worry if her beetle will stop flying or something.

No, after testing it I didn’t like how slippery it made the navigation feel. I’d only use it on a case-by-case basis. Besides, it was something I could do with my power anyways, with greater effect and nuance. I’d been knocked out once, and my power had continued directing insects by my last given order.

Irritating.

...on Panacea’s defense, I’ll say she has no way of knowing it’d be an inconvenient modification. Or maybe she did know, and this is some form of petty revenge, correcting the flaw like Skitter wanted but bringing an entirely new one. I like the thought of Panacea being petty like that. Too bad it’s unlikely because this could get in the way of helping Glory Girl.

Once Skitter returns, she checks the situation. Is Cache crushed yet? Nope, he isn’t. Weld is getting rid of Mannequin’s pile of vehicles, Mannequin keeps hitting him and there’s still a truck that’d kill Cache. It’s pretty doubtful Clockblocker will be quick enough to notice the danger and freeze it, so...yeah, still a very real danger here.

Carefully, I positioned myself, noted the wind, and then grabbed a grenade from the sash that hung around my neck.

I really shouldn’t be using this without any training, I thought.

No kidding, you really shouldn’t! What if the grenade explodes right when Cache and Clockblocker unfreeze? Things would get really ugly. But it’s either this or a far more certain death under a flaming truck, so it’s pretty obvious what’s the better option.

Wind carried the grenade further than I expected.

This is precisely why training is needed. Luckily, the grenade doesn’t fall too far away from the objective, the blast dislodges the car that was against Cache, that’s a success. Skitter takes a moment to repeat what I had said about what if they had unfrozen right when the grenade exploded, because, just like me, it seems Skitter also thinks outlandish scenarios you’d have to be really unlucky to see.

Now that Mannequin and Weld know she’s there, does that change anything? Weld sure seems glad she’s around, Mannequin...I imagine he’s not too pleased. Besides, they still have to fight each other. With Skitter as support, the fight continues. The problem is that Mannequin is way too agile, and Weld is way too slow. Even with Skitter, it’s a stalemate in terms of waiting for someone to be defeated.

Neeeeevermind, the scales are tilting towards the Slaughterhouse Nine. Crawler arrived. You know, for an attack on the Slaughterhouse Nine, this all sure did nothing at all. All the members are still running around, unharmed. This makes it a failure, doesn’t it? It’s...disappointing. I thought Piggot’s daring move would rock the boat harder than this.

Hoping Weld would deal with the biggest threat while she kept Mannequin at bay, she shouted where Crawler was at, and continued throwing grenades. It didn’t work because Weld had no way of knowing Skitter’s thoughts, he kept fighting Mannequin. The moment he needed to dodge, he did that but was blindsided by Crawler, who’s well-prepared to shred metal into...well, shreds.

Crawler’s claws tore into him, revealing bones in silver, organs in copper and gold.

That’s such an odd mental image. I always thought Weld was a solid and mobile block of steel. Didn’t think he had such things as bones and organs.

There are only two grenades left, and unless she gets lucky, that won’t be nearly enough to do anything. She does throw one at Crawler, who bats it with Weld’s body, and that makes Weld be freed and fall. He manages to close her wounds, but I suppose that means he lost any superfluous material he had right now. Dang, at least he’s doing well enough and...you know, not dying.

Mannequin made a gesture at Crawler, fingertips of two hands all touching, pressed to his ‘mouth’, then he pulled his hands away, splaying his fingers. Crawler cocked his head and Mannequin pointed at the frozen heroes. I heard Crawler rumble with guttural laughter.

No.

What could I do? I was a bystander here, effectively powerless, but for my beetle. I had the gun, but it wouldn’t do anything to Crawler and I didn’t trust myself to hit Mannequin at this range. I had a single grenade, and I knew that wouldn’t even make Crawler flinch.

I’m not sure what Mannequin’s suggestion was. At first I thought it was like...’hey, rip them apart’, but the gesture doesn’t really fit. What else can Crawler do—oh, okay, it’s acid. That answers it. Hopefully there’s enough luck to not unfreeze while the acid is still there.

If I used a grenade, could I clear it away? Or was it too viscous? Would I be losing something I couldn’t afford to throw away?

Seeing how it’s the last grenade, yeah, that’d be a waste! Better try to use it in something you know would work! Besides, if it’s so viscous it’d stick together enough to be all blasted away, it’d also be viscous enough to not be blasted away by a grenade. Just saying.

Not that there’s much time to think about it. Cache comes back to life. I can only imagine what he thought, when suddenly everything changes, there’s Crawler in front of you, and you’re bathed with acid that’s likely to kill you in like half a minute. Would Clockblocker freezing him again save him?

And once again Skitter wonders what I was wondering! The part about what Cache may have been thinking, that is. This update she and I really are wondering the same things.

Somehow, Cache stays calm. He doesn’t panic while, you know, he’s possibly being dissolved alive in a sea of flames and acid, and tries to release the heroes, something the two Slaughterhouse Nine members don’t want to happen. Both Crawler and Mannequin attack. Weld goes for Crawler, who just lets it happen. Skitter takes on Mannequin with her handgun.

I’m not really sure how effective a handgun is going to be against Mannequin. His shell is bound to be resistant, a bullet won’t be enough to--

Mannequin fell.

How the hell did I manage that?

...yeah! Yeah, I’m wondering that too! Okay, I doubt he fell because he was injured by that. I bet it was the force of the impact or something like that. Not that it stops Skitter from shooting again while Mannequin tries retreating. Cache lets out a few of the heroes, who seem to have a plan already. Glory Girl gets ready to defend everyone, trying to punch Crawler once he gets close enough, misses, and is showered in acid. Her forcefield protects her before Crawler slams his head against her, disabling it. That’s the same strategy Tattletale and Skitter had back during the bank heist, so...yeah, it works this time too.

I could see her skin turning red, then black, where the spittle had covered it. Flesh melted away to reveal muscle, then the acidic vomit began to eat away at that. She screamed, frantic, thrashing, oblivious to the flaming patches of ground that she was rolling into.

...

...Panacea isn’t going to like that. You’re getting blamed, Skitter. She gave you a beetle and everything so you’d help protect Glory Girl, and here’s Glory Girl pretty much dissolving in front of you, and also literally rolling on fire. Goodbye, whatever progress was made in trying to get Panacea to stop being so rancorous.

The rest of the heroes are freed, Cache collapses in the arms of one of the heroes. Crawler approaches Glory Girl, no doubt enjoying the situation and getting ready to deliver the finishing blow. Mannequin...I suppose he ran away. No sign of any other Slaughterhouse Nine member, the rest of Skitter’s friends and allies are away. Nothing Skitter can do, either.

Things went south. You know, like usual in Worm. It’s bound to get better because usually it does, the problem is that it doesn’t always end well, so who knows how this will go. I wonder if Glory Girl will die.

It has been so long since I updated last time, I’m not going to stop here and give such a short update! Continue!

Weld makes sure everyone snaps from the horrible sight of Glory Girl dissolving, telling them to start the plans they had discussed about how to deal with Crawler and Mannequin. Skitter checks who is available to fight. Vista and Flechette are here, nice. Kid Win isn’t here – not surprising, he bowed out during the interlude – and Chariot isn’t here, I suppose he ran away after he passed Piggot’s message. There’s also Miss Militia, Assault, Battery, Prism, and Triumph. Not a bad group of heroes, I’ll say. Will they be enough?

Crawler spat, and Vista used her power, reducing the distance the spit traveled to a tenth of what it might have been. Crawler leaped, and she widened the distance between him and everyone else so he stood in the midst of a clearing.

Sounds to me like Vista may be the edge they need to keep Crawler away! He has no way to counter the spatial manipulation Vista can do, and it doesn’t hurt him. This may be the best trick to deal with him...until they can think of a better strategy. Speaking of hurting Crawler, Flechette can do that, much to Crawler’s joy. He’s enjoying that. Miss Militia shoots at him with a rocket launcher. I’m not sure if that hurts him or not, but it does throw him away. That has to be of some use.

This Prism person is a self-duplicator, always doing it twice. As long as one of the duplicates is alive, she’ll be okay. Prism and Battery are fighting Mannequin, who is being nimble and doesn’t resist the blows. Supple willow and all that. He’s targeting Prism the most, getting rid of two copies and going for the third Prism, Battery saving her life. Meanwhile, the other heroes in condition to fight are attacking Crawler. Glory Girl keeps dissolving.

I wonder if, now that her life is in very grave danger, Glory Girl will let Panacea touch her. It may be necessary. I also wonder if Panacea would take that chance to remove what she had done to Glory Girl’s psyche. She should, she really should, although I think Glory Girl would get very upset once she realizes Panacea touched her brain again.

Skitter tries to get instructions from Weld because this is clearly the best time for that. With some luck the rest of the heroes will keep Crawler so busy he won’t listen to anything Weld says. Weld’s instructions are to throw more grenades on Mannequin. What do you mean you’re out, Skitter, you have one grenade left!

“Then get out of here! You’ll be one less person we have to protect! Our front line’s pretty thin!”

That’s not bad advice. Better to have a worry less. Although, before Skitter manages to leave, he takes another look at Glory Girl and determines if she and Cache are left lying around, they’re as good as dead, so he tells Skitter to take Cache and Glory Girl away. That’s going to be really tough. Skitter has no way to carry them, and her giant beetle isn’t going to be able to carry two people at once. Any ideas, Skitter?

Had to think out of the box. If I could get her out of here, and if the beetle could manage her, I could remotely pilot it to Amy. Those were two pretty huge ifs. No, couldn’t pin my hopes on that.

Was she thinking to put Glory Girl on the beetle and send her to Panacea? While she presumably walks nearby? Hm. That sounds pretty unsafe, Glory Girl could fall down at any moment. Cache disappearing from this dimension gives Skitter one worry less, and also gives her ideas. Very, very strange and nonsensical ideas.

“Can she fly!?” I shouted.

Certainly not in her current state! Geez! Besides, Glory Girl flying high would have the same problem than draping her over the beetle: she could fall! If she faints, I mean. This can’t end well.

Weld asks something to Glory Girl, there seems to be no response, so he turns his arms into poles, inserts them underneath the prone body of Glory Girl, and tosses her in the air towards Skitter – towards the flying beetle with the hundred and eighteen pounds girl precariously riding it. It’s a surprise she managed to grab Glory Girl instead of plummeting to the ground. It’s a major surprise Skitter didn’t get any deadly acid on her.

Apparently Glory Girl is still conscious. She struggles, trying to get away from Skitter, not noticing this is an attempt to help her. Better get going before something else happens, Skitter! And...you know, not flying too high! Because I sure am not putting much stock on Skitter’s physical strength.

It’s with much effort that she manages to hold Glory Girl up, and she shouts at her to start flying, to rise up, anything that doesn’t involve getting both of them to plummet to the ground. Somehow Glory Girl was sensate enough to hear that, and she does fly. Together they fly towards where the rest of the group is.

My beetle needed a name. Had to have a better way of referring to it. A hercules beetle, but bigger, a giant. I thought about Hercules, about the myth; Hercules had borrowed the burden of the giant who carried the world. Atlas.

“Come on, Atlas,” I urged him, “Faster.”

Not the best time to be thinking of names for your newfound pet/vehicle/weapon, Skitter. There are hundreds of better moments other than flying over a burning street carrying a woman who is being eaten by acid. That said, I really like that name! Atlas is a good name. It’s better than Hercules – the one I was thinking, because that’s generic for this species of beetle. I’m glad Skitter has more originality than me.

The reactions when everyone sees the wreck that is Glory Girl are what you’d expect. Panacea’s immediate reaction is to rush at her.

“Heal her! Just don’t touch the spots where the acid hit her!”

I have to wonder, what can Panacea do about the acid? Unless it’s removed, it will keep eating the flesh, won’t it? Hmmmm...washing Glory Girl seems dangerous, though. She has several open wounds. Pouring water or any other fluids on it can’t be healthy. I suppose saving Glory Girl depends on what’s quicker: Panacea’s healing or Crawler’s acid. Her chances of survival seem lower and lower with every line I read, I swear.

If Glory Girl was sensate enough to hold herself in the air when Skitter told her to, then she’s sensate enough to reject Panacea, telling her to not do anything, and making sure to demonstrate her point by slamming her good hand against the pavement. It’d kill Panacea if it hits her. Everyone else tells Panacea to do it anyway, which I’m sure she’d love to, if it wasn’t because Glory Girl would kill her as soon as she could.

Amy shook her head, talking over her, “She’s always been emotional, passionate, unrestrained, and she’s channeling all this new emotion into hate, because it’s the closest equivalent.”

You know what people say? That love and hate aren’t that different. She must be pouring all her energy in converting the love she forcibly feels, I figure.

Naturally, everyone has their own opinions and questions. Regent outright claims Panacea mindraped Glory Girl, which is pretty accurate. When Panacea tries to defend herself like anyone would – it was an accident – nobody believes her. Imp even questions how that’s possible. If it wasn’t for Tattletale telling them to stop, they’d have continued grilling Panacea. I’m pretty sure her psyche wouldn’t have taken that well. Last thing she needs is a bunch of villains’ judgment about her actions, even if it’s rightly judgment.

Tattletale tells Glory Girl they’re going to pour sterile water over her, so Panacea takes the chance to knock Glory Girl out. That’s not going to improve the broken relationship at all, but it’s for the better this was done. Time to start fixing this mess!

“So much to do,” Amy mumbled, “Have to counter the acid with some kind of physiological byproduct, have to stop the enzymes from liquefying her entire body, and repair the damage. Trying to make some kind of firebreak to stop the spread of the venom, withdraw the proteins the venom is using to propagate itself. There isn’t enough tissue in her body for everything I need to do to fix her.”

It really is like I had said, about who was faster! If Panacea or the acid! Although it sounds like a match Panacea’s going to lose, if there’s not even enough tissue to fix her. Perhaps she can duplicate the cells quickly once the acid has been neutralized? It’d have to be creating new flesh out of nowhere, but it could be the only solution.

Okay, things are going more or less well. The necrotic tissue is being replaced by healthier tissue. I don’t think she’s reviving it, at least. While Panacea works on that, Skitter gets asked if she will return to help. She won’t.

I turned to Amy. “Do you want me to bring bugs? Maggots eat only dead flesh, which might be helpful if-”

“No. I can handle that.”

“Or I could get some of the more useless bugs, like the ones you used to make Atlas, for raw material.”

Amy turned to give me an incredulous look.

It’s a solution. Gross as heck, and I’m sure Glory Girl would hate the thought of having flesh made out of insects, but...it’s a solution – a placeholder while real flesh forms. Panacea doesn’t seem too pleased about this proposal, though, and Regent sure isn’t helping. Maybe Regent is really against mindrape nowadays. No doubt the result of his father and Cherish’s uses for their powers.

There’s Skitter, trying to defuse the situation by defending her suggestion and saying quite correctly that bugs would be a source of materials to help fix Glory Girl. The grossness and the potential unsanitary quality of that – something Panacea can solve, I’d say – are the problems here.

“It was an idle thought, but I was thinking that if we got into a food shortage, I could feed my people with bugs”

Ohohoho, I’d have loved to see that. Skitter would have a hard time convincing his people to eat insects. We westerners have a certain disgust towards this kind of concepts, and although I think in dire situations we’d suck up and accept it’s necessary, that doesn’t mean we won’t complain and try to bargain for other solutions.

Still not helping, Regent! Although bug-borg is a fun word. Skitter gets defensive over her idea of feeding bugs to her people, and even is asked if she has eaten bugs before, to which she replies she hasn’t. Hah! Pretty doubtful. Ants get everywhere, I can guarantee everyone eats ants every week unwittingly.

“Please,” Amy cut in. “Can you?”

I turned to her. It took me a second to realize what she meant, after the line of questioning from the others.

Oh. Oh! Oh my god, for a moment I forgot they’re all teasing and messing with Skitter while Glory Girl is lying around, on the verge of death, and Panacea panics over saving her. I’m sure Panacea absolutely loved that. She must have appreciated how their joking and teasing took priority, haha! It sucks to be her.

No, she’s not asking Skitter to start eating bugs, she’s asking Skitter to gather the bugs, like she said she could, so she does. I suppose the placeholder skin plan is a go! This is also how she made the beetle, I think. As soon as she gets the bugs, she dissolves them into their constituent parts and pretty much presses...the resulting mush? Onto Glory Girl. And it’s taken immediately. The process is repeated a few times, and here I am sitting and wondering just how freaking weird the concept of Glory Girl currently having skin made of insects kind of healing her injuries right now. Pretty original stuff, if you ask me.

Glory Girl didn’t look ‘done’. Scars crawled across her body, angry-looking, surrounded by burns from the acid and flames. Her skin in areas where the flesh had melted away was so new and stretched so thin that it was translucent, and there was little to no body fat to pad the area between skin and muscle.

As long as there are no open wounds then it should be okay. The danger with infections and the such is that infectious agents enter the body. If there’s no place to enter, then there’s no infection. It’s the same principle behind bandages and the such, if I’m not mistaken, and just as temporal. The problem is knowing how long it’ll be before this can be replaced with real flesh.

Tattletale suggests to undo whatever Panacea had done to Glory Girl – to her brain, she means – and leave. Panacea refuses, because Glory Girl will need her attentions in order to heal properly. Unless Glory Girl is kept knocked out for as long as that takes, she’s going to fight that vigorously, and there’s something real sketchy about keeping someone unconscious for a long period of time unless they’re at a hospital or something, and even then Panacea’s going to have to think of a very good excuse to do that. Quite the problem for Panacea.

“That’s her choice. You saved her life, good on you, but you need to let her make the call.”

She’s not wrong. Really, Tattletale is completely right about this. What I’m not certain is if this is enough to save her life. From what I read during this chapter, Glory Girl was in an awful state. There could be further consequences. Maybe Panacea should call for the heroes to take her sister to a hospital or something and then walk away, but will she do that?

She’s not in a good emotional state right now. The advice Tattletale’s giving her is rejected because she’s a villain and therefore why should Tattletale care about this? She insists and tells her to leave Glory Girl alone after she fixed her mind.

“If she fights me and doesn’t let me finish-”

“That’s her choice.” Tattletale repeated herself.

“No! That’s- that’s not her. That’s the change I made doing the talking, or the aftermath of it.”

I can’t decide if she’s right or not. I mean, of course Glory Girl is royally pissed Panacea messed with her head. Who wouldn’t be? Love or not? So I’m pretty convinced there’s a lot of anger in her. But it’s also possible some of her reactions and extreme vitriol are a consequence of, as Panacea puts it: ‘emotional cocktails and hormonal balances’. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, who knows.

She’s channeling it into anger instead of… instead of love.”

Love. The implications were so fucked up. It was the sort of thing Heartbreaker did.

No comment from Regent at this point. It’s a shame, that’s a missed chance – and it’s not like he’s afraid of saying something at bad times, you know.

“You need to fix her mind now. For you, not for her. Maybe she’ll forgive you at a later date, when she’s thinking clearly again,” Tattletale said. “Maybe then she can approach you, you two can start interacting again, you rebuild that trust over months or years, and you can finish healing her body when she gives you her permission.”

Pretty unlikely, if you ask me. Even if Glory Girl forgives her, I really doubt she’ll let herself be touched by Panacea ever again. Healing the natural and slow way isn’t going to mess with your emotions, after all!

Her conflicted emotions make her blame herself for everything. She thinks what she did ruined Glory Girl’s focus, or made her too aggressive – disproved by Skitter immediately – or didn’t get enough sleep, or her emotions made her not react quick enough...she’s looking for a way to blame herself, pretty much. Because she hates herself that much. Despite that, she has a plan.

Said plan is to patch her up and then leave. Easier said than done. She wakes up Glory Girl and helps her stand up. She will heal Glory Girl, and then she’ll go away and get work, use her powers for something useful...now that she doesn’t have a family to stay with anymore. Dang.

“And the last thing you’ll do for your family is this? Hypnotizing your sister when she’s already mad at you for assaulting her and fucking with her head?” Tattletale asked.

...I hadn’t touched that because her plan was more relevant in that paragraph, but yeah, she’s doing exactly that! Great! Like things weren’t bad enough. If Glory Girl remembers Panacea forced her to be okay with her presence and submit to treatment by what pretty much amounts to force, she’s going to get even more pissed off. Goodbye, any possibility of being forgiven.

Skitter tries to intervene because this is wrong, and Panacea isn’t being receptive to the advice they’re giving her. She even says Panacea asked her to intervene and talk when it was time to make the call in tough situations.

“Because you had the experience in making calls on morality in dangerous situations, situations where I can’t even think straight,” Amy said. Her voice hardened a little, “But I have the impression that you don’t have that same expertise when it comes to family.”

...um...well on the bright side she recognized Skitter is good at that. Nice. But at this point it’s not about family, to me it’s starting to seem more like a matter of what’s right and what’s wrong. Still, that shuts up Skitter.

“I’m trying to fix this!” Amy raised her voice. “Why are you making this a thing? Why do you even care?”

Tattletale shrugged. “I talked about it with Grue, Bitch and Regent. We were considering offering you a place on the team.”

...ahaha, wait, what? They actually discussed it? That wasn’t a mere possibility I floated around just because I thought it’d be fun? If Mr. Wildbow had decided to, she could have actually joined the team? Well, I actually didn’t see this coming! A couple things that are worth pointing out...hm, first than all, that Skitter wasn’t consulted. I wonder why. Narratively I’m guessing it was to surprise us readers with this line. In the story, though...I’m not sure why Tattletale didn’t talk with Skitter.

Second, does that mean Regent Grue and Heckpuppy accepted? They’d have welcomed Panacea to the team? Color me surprised! I imagine Heckpuppy may have approved simply because she didn’t care enough to fight back, but she wouldn’t have been happy about it anyway.

Third, ‘were’? That means it’s not an option anymore? Oh well. Sucks for Panacea. I don’t know what direction her story in Worm will take, but I’m pretty sure it’ll end being wildly different to whatever would have happened if she had joined the Undersiders. Kind of looking forward to finding out.

Amy scowled, “As if. You’re such hypocrites. Regent mind controls people all the time!”

“Regent mind controls the monsters, the bad guys,” I said.

“Taking advantage of bad people for selfish ends.”

Technically she’s right. Not that it changes anything.

“What you’re doing is selfish,” Tattletale cut in. “You think you’re doing it for her, but you’re only doing it to soothe your own guilt.”

Once another thing that’s correct. Then again, it’s not like what Tattletale and the others were suggesting wouldn’t soothe Panacea’s guilt. The only difference was that with their more sensible-yet-still-not-ideal suggestion, Panacea wouldn’t be anywhere near Glory Girl. That’s the problem, in Panacea’s opinion.

Before she leaves, she turns to Skitter and reveals she made all the bugs in a manner that meant they’d starve to death after like a week. Welp. I should have guessed there’d be a catch. She wouldn’t help a villain just like that. I should have known. You know what’s the part I feel bad about? That the giant beetle will die. Seriously, that’s a pity. It’d have been nice to have that. Without giving any space for arguments, she and Glory Girl turn around to leave. So long, Panacea, until next time.

I was pissed off enough that I wanted to hit someone. I couldn’t even articulate the entirety of why I was so angry. I’d gone out of my way to be nice to her, to empathize, to save her sister, and save both of their lives. And this was how she repaid me? A slap in the face, a final gesture to make her distrust for me as blatant as possible?

After this, I’m pretty convinced she’d have done it in any situation. In fact, maybe it’d have been a sign of extreme desperation if she hadn’t done such a failsafe to prevent Skitter from having a useful tool for too long. She doesn’t trust anyone at all.

Seeing how distraught Skitter was over this betrayal, Grue offers to take a look and try to use his powers to help. There was a risk he’d accidentally wreck the beetle because he’s not Panacea, but it’s better than doing nothing and letting it die in a week anyway so...yeah. He covers Panacea and Glory Girl with his power, and shifts the beetle’s insides around until the heroines are out of his range. Whether it was successful or not remains to be seen.

“The only thing I have any knowledge about is myself. I don’t know if it’s going to work, but he has a human digestive system. Or something close to it, that worked with his body. Near as I can figure, everything connects to what it’s supposed to.”

...oh. Oh, delightful. And totally not weird at all. This is far weirder than Glory Girl having patches of skin made from insects. Great. And now I’m kind of picturing that, and I feel squeamish and I absolutely loathe you for making me think about this, Mr. Wildbow. I didn’t want to spend any time of my life thinking about insect guts. Thanks a lot.

It’s a good thing Skitter has good knowledge of insects and the such, I trust she’ll take good care of Atlas. Maybe he’ll be okay despite everything.

Now that this conundrum about the beetle’s impending death was solved, it’s time to decide what to do. Grue tells Skitter to go and scout the area, do something because she’s restless. Regent suggests she searches for Jack and Bonesaw so they can kill them. Yeeeeeah, no. Not going to happen.

I shook my head. “They disappeared. Literally. I’m not sure if they’re dead or if they found a hiding spot.”

Good rule of thumb: if you don’t see their corpses and you don’t confirm by yourself they’re not dead and you haven’t separated their heads from their necks, then don’t even dare to think they’re dead. That’s my personal thought about these two. Sure is going to be hard to convince me they’re dead if anything happens, haha!

There’s a short discussion of where they could have gone. The Siberian was going towards a specific place, and it seems to have been to a different place than Bonesaw and Jack. That said, Tattletale seems to know where they may be.

“Then I think I know where they went. It’s quite obvious when you think about it. A place they could have researched in advance, unoccupied by anyone of consequence, capable of withstanding hits from virtually anything, supplied with food and water…”

Only when I reached the part about supplied with food and water I figured where it’d be. A shelter, right? Still, I imagine they won’t stay in there for long, so the food and water part isn’t important. I’m guessing it’s the ‘withstanding hits from virtual anything’ part. What better place to hide from a bombing? Not that I think the heroes would bomb a shelter, but it still is a line of thought I’d get to.

“The emergency shelters for Endbringer attacks,” I finished for her.

Really strong shelters. There must be several in the town, but they know in what direction those two went. That’ll narrow things down. I suppose that means the next chapter will be searching for this shelter. Will there be a confrontation? It sure feels early for such a thing, so my guess is that there won’t be.

That’s the end of this chapter, so I’ll end the update here. I apologize for how long it took!

Next time: in four updates

#worm #worm liveblog #webserial #webserial liveblog #liveblog

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ghoultyrant · 7 years ago

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Grimdark Tau

I’ve long felt Tau were plenty grimdark without slapping in grimderp elements, running with just baseline components. No need for "gifting" mind control helmets to supposed allies, pheromones assuring Ethereal leadership, or mass sterilization of human colonists to make room for Tau colonists. These just draw attention away from the actual, existing grimdark.

Let's take a look at the other factions of Warhammer 40k, and their grimdarkness. Orks are grimdark because they are a plague of violence for its own sake, virtually impossible to eradicate and fully capable of overrunning the galaxy through sheer breeding advantage combined with intrinsic military advantages. Even with a concerted effort by everyone else to exterminate them, there's no way to be completely confident they're all gone, and so long as they exist peace is not on the table. Craftworld Eldar are grimdark because they are smarter than you, stronger than you, live longer than you, are outright super psychics that see the future, and are completely disinterested in your survival or well-being if you aren't Eldar. The Imperium is grimdark because they treat everyone and everything like garbage out of sheer necessity. The Inquisition isn't the ruling body squashing political dissension using the veil of religion. They're fighting a threat fundamentally dedicated to the eradication of anything resembling civilization, and the only viable way to do so involves brainwashing, social manipulation, and outright genocide of problematic population. In other words, being good requires monstrous behavior in the Imperium, and that's depressing/grimdark. Tyranids are grimdark because EVERYTHING ENDS IN TYRANIDS. EVERYTHING. Also, Genestealer cults that are virtually impossible to detect before they reach a substantially threatening stage and the only real solution is to kill the infected. No good answers and we're all doomed. Pretty straightforward grimdark. Dark Eldar are grimdark because they do all the awful things they do to stave off the destruction of their immortal souls. Well, most of the things. Partially they're just that twisted, but then again that grows out of the necessity of inflicting suffering for their own survival, which is going to tend to weed out any Dark Eldar that's squeamish because their soul will be eaten. Net result; there's a reason to feel kind of sorry for the monsters even as they torture you for giggles, which is all kinds of messed up. Grimdark: achieved. Oldcrons are grimdark because their goal is extermination of all life, everywhere, wrapped up in a shell of barely sensate beings reduced to "I have no mouth and I must scream" as the means to achieve this goal, all directed by immortal people-eating monsters harvesting us like cattle. Not because they have to to survive, but because we're more delicious than stars. That's depressing because it implies a missed opportunity for peaceful cooperation with vast beings of cosmic significance, and also because, again, there's an urge to feel sorry for the mass-murdering killbots even as they literally atomize you, and again, that's all kinds of messed up. (Newcrons are... not really all that grimdark, by comparison, but whatever)

Chaos, is, of course, Chaos, and has layers of grimdark built in. Every thinking creature's every thought and random feeling contributes to the Immaterium, but then the Immaterium pokes back and encourages patterns growing in it, leading to a snowball effect where incidents in history of violence and anger and so on have made the Immaterium an unhappy and scary place, which then promotes violence and anger and so on, feeding in on itself. To fight Chaos is to feed Chaos. If you join Chaos, you are driven onward by a constant, eternal fear for your immortal soul, fully aware that your life and the quality therein now hinges on the whims of the pitiless and random Gods of Chaos, whom may turn you into an I Must Scream slab of tortured flesh because you bore them, or because you failed them one too many times, or because they thought it would be funny, or because they were actually trying to give you a gift and said gift was too much for your mere mortal flesh to handle. Also, your "allies" in Chaos are only slightly less likely to try to kill you than the opposition is. This isn't even getting into how horrifying it must be to find yourself a part of Chaos while having an actual moral compass. Oh, and enlightenment is demons and so is liable to explode your head.

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So, the Tau.

The Tau trip all the happy feelgood terms and images of goodness. They speak of "The Greater Good", prefer diplomatic appeals to military aggression, have clean looking technology, invest resources into improving the quality of life of their people, and glorify individuals helping the collective. They're nice guys driven to make the world a better place for everyone in it, right? Let's look at some of these bits a little closer. Greater Good is rendered as "Tau'Va." in the Tau language. One can infer that Tau therefore probably means either "Greater" or "Good", either of which is somewhat alarming. Human cultures largely name themselves "the people" if you translate their name for themselves, which is a pretty neutral statement. The Tau are either saying they are the definition of goodness or that they are greater... than anything that isn't them, presumably. Neither of these suggests the Tau view their allies as equal partners. Reinforcing this is that Tau diplomacy is not aiming for an alliance of equals. You serve the Tau Empire, or you die. Certainly, the Imperium gives anything sufficiently inhuman just the "you die" option, but the Tau are not asking if you want to fight alongside them against external third parties. They aren't NATO or some other compact between equals. Being integrated into the Tau Empire means being suborned to the Tau Empire. They will bring you into their Empire, they won't take "no" for an answer, your government will be leashed to their will, or they'll just kill you and ship Tau into the area you once lived. Your governor may remain a governor, but that doesn't mean your government has any real power.

Ethereals are the leadership caste. The underlying assumption of the Tau Empire is that everyone in it serves under Ethereals. This is unilaterally declaring Ethereals the only valid authority, no argument allowed. You're not Tau, you're never in charge. You are Tau, but not an Ethereal, you're not in charge. There is no equal representation at the highest authority levels: first and foremost Tau interests will be represented. Even if they have a principle of allowing everyone their foibles and building the world to work in harmony for everyone, the command decisions will still be skewed towards Tau interests, even if the Ethereals genuinely believe in equal treatment for all, with no possibility of cycling in non-Ethereal leadership to soften the bias. Naturally, Tau priorities will then be skewed toward Ethereal interests over the interests of other castes, for extra special bonus grimdark. The Tau loathe individual expression, and box you in based on your biology. They are fundamentally racist in a way that goes well beyond any possibility of practical motives, including forbidding crossbreeding of Tau Castes. This is basically eugenics, and not some idealized "let's weed out life-ruining defects!" eugenics, but the arbitrary, politically-minded kind that, among other points, contributes to keeping Ethereals the sole authority. A Fire/Ethereal crossbreed is not allowed: you can't marry your family into a position of power. Based on their treatment of their own and their treatment of their allies, it seems likely that once the Tau settle on what they think humans are ideally suited for, they are going to attempt to lock them into that role, no arguing or accommodation for people who don't fit this idea. All unusual occurrences in any given species or Caste will not be given due consideration for not physically fitting their standard role, because the Caste system is absolute. A Fire Caste Tau who is clever with her hands and intellectually good with machines will not work within Earth Caste factories or laboratories. She will be given a combat suit and a gun, and off to war she goes. The Tau’s Greater Good is a patriotic ideal, not a philosophical/moral one. The Greater Good starts from being defined as the members of the Tau Empire, not the galaxy's whole breadth of species. There is a component of real-world philosophy to their ideology, in that they see no point to unnecessary fighting and don't understand why other species will die to a man for no clear benefit, and similarly will more readily ally against greater threats than many of 40k's factions. However, mostly it is largely the same as the Imperium's fanatical devotion to the Emperor, only directed at the Tau Empire as a whole. This isn't "what benefits the most people by the largest amount?" This is "Whatever the Greater Good Tau Empire demands." That's an implicit mandate that the Tau Empire can do whatever it wants and be morally justified. That they happen to angle it more toward seeming nicer than the Imperium's mandate of "Whatever the Emperor wants" gets used for doesn't change the fact that it's the same level of fanatical zeal unchained by ethics or a real moral code. The Tau ethos of sacrifice for others goes a bit beyond glorifying the individual dying to save everyone else where no other option exists and ranges closer to Imperial Guard "everyone is expendable" military philosophy. The expectation is you will die for your Empire on a moment's notice, even if it is merely convenient rather than necessary. It never openly ranges into calculating how much your death will buy... but a refusal to explicitly admit to something doesn't mean it isn't happening. The Tau are grimdark because they are, in many ways, villains with good PR. Sure, they won't treat you like crap just because they can if you join their Empire, and in general they have a policy of decent quality of life for citizens. That doesn't mean they are utopian or even as "good" as the surface image suggests.

It's redundant and gratuitous to have shenanigans like the Tau Empire sterilizing human populations or "gifting" mind control helmets to prospective allies, and I’ve always been a bit surprised at how normal it is for 40k fans to feel the Tau are undermining 40k’s grimdarkness such that the creators feel the need to slap in this nonsense.

I suppose it’s appropriate in a meta sort of way that the Tau PR engine is so effective it works through the fourth wall...

#warhammer 40k #tau #grimdark

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primrose-path-of-dalliance · 6 years ago

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Lotor’s end (?) in s6

toc 1: i shake out some salt and talk about the altean colony | 2: i question why people keep insisting lotor was "evil all along" | 3: i talk about my favorite parts of lotor’s breakdown

lotor, altea, and king alfor

when lotor chooses to lash out and start destroying everything, he says: "what about your father? he may have been a master engineer, but alfor was too weak to defend his homeworld. i'm the one who had to step up and save our entire race. who are you to question my tactics in bringing peace and prosperity to the universe?"

the knee-jerk reaction is to be furious at lotor for this statement, and what he says is unfair. it's not as if alfor simply gave up, lay down, and offered his people to the pyre. perhaps he made a mistake in sending voltron away (as his ai freely admits to allura), but although we don't get a lot of information on what happened after zarkon's resurrection, we know that he tried to defend his people. that he ultimately lost isn't a fact that's fair to reflect onto his moral character. additionally, lotor is singing his own praises even after we've discovered that he's far from hot shit, and naturally it's unappealing.

but as a character, lotor possesses an extremely unique perspective. he is the only major sympathetic character in the show to have lived through all of the 10,000 years of post-resurrection zarkon's reign. and he is among the small group of characters who have been aligned against the empire for a significant amount of time since before allura and coran reawoke; potentially, he has spent the longest actively on the galra empire's shit list.

i said that allura's viewpoint in the show is limited for a very good reason. even the person who is our primary protagonist, who is extraordinarily sympathetic and compassionate, whose heart breaks regularly for the people who suffer under the oppression of this empire and who has suffered tremendously herself while determined to devote the rest of her life to this cause, can be a bit clueless when she's a teenager and only woke up about a year ago into a universe entirely different from the one she once knew.

most of allura's life was spent in a stable and loving home on an idyllic planet as crown royalty, with all the resources and wealth that lifestyle offered to her. she was raised for both diplomacy and warfare but had little time to become familiar with them, particularly the latter, when compared to the work of centuries or millennia under the rule of an extremely powerful and oppressive empire. and the perspective from which she learned her trades was as the heir of a powerful kingdom and expansive legacy, not as a freedom fighter. most significantly, she had astounding resources even after waking up into an empire that wanted her dead—the castle of lions, an extremely mobile self-powered warship with apparently no concern to be had for things like food supplies or relative comfort; and voltron, quite literally the most powerful weapon in the universe with limits unknown and a sentient being in its own right. additionally, the return of the black lion distracted zarkon. he was obsessed with reclaiming it above all else, to the point where haggar criticized his illogical behavior right to his face. voltron's return weakened zarkon's ability to strategize intelligently. in terms of practical position against the galra empire, allura, coran, and the paladins possessed the strongest one from the very beginning. and they have only gotten stronger.

this doesn't place allura in an easy position to empathize with the other forces who have fought against the empire, and considering the usual level of empathy or thoughtfulness one can already expect from a teenager, it shouldn't be a shock that allura's perspective may not be the most understanding.

when she condemns lotor for his treatment of the altean colony, as rightfully as she may be doing so, she does so without any understanding of where lotor is coming from. she literally cannot comprehend the type of situation someone like lotor must have been in to drive him to do something so horrific, nor that someone who's not Evil could still commit such crimes. this is tied into one of the biggest reasons lotor loses his temper and says what he does.

what i'm saying isn't without precedence in this show. @howtofightwrite has talked about the usual experience of a resistance (link). (please feel encouraged to read the whole post, especially for context. they do a great job being a resource for writers about a wide variety of topics, and if you're not already acquainted, i totally recommend following them.)

since it's a very long post, i'll quote the most relevant parts:

"When you’re writing a story about a resistance, never forget that they are in a hostile environment where everything is a danger to them, and you should approach every engagement violent or not as a cost comparison. ....

When you’re working with a resistance fighter, the resistance part is more important than the fighter part. These are not people with a very large margin for error, and who need to be incredibly good at threat assessment in regard to their greater goals. The greater goal is what’s most important to them, their priority, their mission, they have limited resources and that means they have to make compromises. For the resistance fighter, violence itself draws attention. Attention is bad.

Think about this, if he does manage to fight these two and kill them then whatever kills he makes will be taken out on the civilian population. If he doesn’t kill them, and they remember his face then he’s done as a resistance fighter. Again, attention is bad. Attention brings notoriety. In a hostile state, the consequences are many and they hit the innocent population hardest.

My point is this: your character is not making decisions on what he can do or can’t do, not in what’s morally right or wrong, if he wants to survive in a resistance then he’s making decisions based on risk. ....

Resistance fighters are the ones who run when their friends get captured, the ones who stand by and do nothing if they’re not at risk of being outed. They wait. They strike later, though usually not to recover their friends. Well, the smart ones do. The stupid ones try. They either get gunned down or captured because hot blood and hot heads get murdered in the streets by the gestapo. There are always more of them than there are you in a resistance, and violence attracts attention. The wrong kind of attention in the wrong place means death or capture, prison, interrogation, torture, and then the firing squad. The consequences for failure are high, not just for the single resistance fighter but for everyone they know, everyone they love, and for the very movement they’re fighting for. ....

For every piece your character and his friends take, the enemy will take five of theirs. He is in a rigged game where his own lack of resources will crush him unless the resistance can convince the populace at large to rise up. That is how a resistance actually wins in the real world, you know. If they can’t get the citizens behind them or receive aid from an outside power or train up an army on foreign soil, they’re doomed."

when the blade of marmora are first introduced, they fill precisely this type of role in the show. they are the resistance, the small guy fighting against an empire that has conquered and controls most of the known universe, who has decided to focus on spywork as the primary goal they can accomplish. and allura dislikes them instantly—not only because they're galra, but because she considers them disappointments for having not already taken down the empire themselves. she criticizes what she sees as passivity, as fear to engage with the enemy. she fails to realize that the blade of marmora lacked the firepower of voltron or the resources to commit to a war with the empire.

as the blade of marmora emphasized in their introduction, they survived through their secrecy. if things went wrong, if they took too many risks in trying to liberate other people, their existence would be discovered. and then the empire, a force with effectively infinite resources and no small amount of cruelty, would have their guard up. all of their spies would suddenly be in great danger. any future operations would become exponentially more difficult. depending on the risk that fell through, it wouldn't be difficult at all for the empire to decimate their numbers, or worse, decimate whatever civilian populations they might have been trying to protect or train for war. the blade of marmora simply wouldn't have the ability to fight back.

allura deserves no guilt for condemning lotor, of course. he abused the very people he was supposed to be protecting. he may have found some comfort for himself by treating it as a conservation issue, but he nevertheless ruined the lives of thousands of already oppressed people. regardless of motive, that is never going to be something that sits well with the type of good our protagonists are, and rightfully so. it's the reason we love them so much.

but it's frustrating to see people reduce antagonists like lotor to "Pure Bad Evil all along" because it's completely dismissive of the work the show writers have put into him as a character with a story entirely different from either zarkon's cardboard cutout villainy or allura's honest but youthful idealism. and to what purpose? making sure we all know genocide is bad? surely we don't have to perform hatred or oversimplification of a fictional character just to make sure everyone knows our disdain for mass exploitation. and surely we're capable of understanding that exploring the reasons why someone would do such a thing doesn't mean we agree with them or are excusing their actions.

i stated that the ultimate incompatibility of allura's perspective with lotor's is tied into lotor's break. not the sole cause. that's because it, when expressed in such a raw attack on lotor's character, was only the trigger for the release of a massive amount of resentment that lotor has been harboring inside him. when lotor breaks, it isn't because he can't tolerate the idea of a woman rejecting him. it's because he's been bitter toward everything for a very, very long time, and his break is that moment when he decides to stop holding it in or rationalizing it away.

for 10,000 years, he has endured abuse from the people who ought to have loved him the most. he's been disconnected from each side of his heritage: the galra, because he's half-altean and a disgustingly moral half-breed exile; and the alteans, because he's half-galra and they, at the hands of the empire and to an extent lotor himself, have experienced genocide and abuse until they were scattered and isolated, a mere shadow of what they once were. his friends are few and far between, because trust is difficult when his father will murder everyone around him just because he hears from someone nearby that lotor's having a decent time being deviant, and when the woman at his father's right hand (who he now knows is his mother, one of the sole figures in his life he imagined to be good because he thought she was already dead) will send spies his way through any avenue possible, including benevolent ones (he's not even a little shocked to accept narti's supposed betrayal, or to find himself taken to haggar's feet at galra central command after kuron's mind-control switch is flipped). sendak, the man implied to have been more raised as a son by zarkon than zarkon's own actual son, threatens to make lotor his personal slave, and lotor barely bats an eye because this inherent violence toward his existence is something completely normal to him. his style of fighting and strategy is entirely angled as someone who's used to being the small guy—he's agile, and clever, and quick, and prefers to either manipulate his way out or outfox his enemy because he rarely has the strength to challenge or threaten people head-on; even sincline's strength is in outmaneuvering its opponent. as an infant, we see lotor in the darkness crying alone in his crib with no one to tend to him.

consistently, lotor has been characterized as a target of abuse, with all the baggage that it comes with.

the resentment here is in knowing how easily it could have been better. how happy he might have been. if he had known king alfor as a parental figure instead ("i envy you, growing up with king alfor"). if he had grown up in altea with honerva instead of in the galra empire with zarkon. if king alfor had not failed in his duty to his people, to the universe 10,000 years ago, and simply killed zarkon when he had the chance.

allura, as much as he respects her as an individual, is also a representation of what he wishes he could have had: a loving family, a happy life, proper training as an altean alchemist, security in a group of close friends she can trust and interact with comfortably. she trusts the universe in a way he can't even comprehend of doing. moreover, allura got to sleep relatively peacefully for those 10,000 years of zarkon's tyrannical rule, undisturbed and undiscovered on arus.

she never had to live those millennia under zarkon's oppressive rule. she never had the burden of a horrific legacy. she never had to figure out who she was all by herself, uninternalize every ounce of racism and abuse and discover what it meant to be a person of value by chasing after crumbling ruins. instead, he had to save the last alteans left after zarkon's genocide. he had to figure out a way to topple the empire. he had to find himself trapped in every corner with the choice to either die or sacrifice whatever morality he had to live another day, to take a single step closer to killing his own father.

and now allura has the gall to condemn him, when he didn’t have a superweapon like voltron. he didn’t have a massive castleship, a wormhole generator, or the gifts of a sacred altean. he was working with the best he had. does she think he wanted to use the alteans as a quintessence farm? does she think he wanted to be zarkon's son? all he wanted was peace. maybe if her father had just won, none of them would've had to be there. none of this would have happened. but instead she has the gall to hate him for trying to clean up her father's 10,000 year old mistake.

well, fine. he'll just do a better job restoring the alteans to power and bringing peace to the universe than any of them ever could.

in lotor's relationship with allura and king alfor, there is as much jealousy and resentment as there is love and admiration. and he understood how much of it was unfair, or else we would have seen it leak into his behavior before now no matter how good of an actor he was, if only so we the audience might characterize him properly as a dick. (hopefully i don't have to clarify that it didn't.)

but at this point, everything has been going wrong, allura is on the other side of the battlefield, and quintessence exposure is insidiously wreaking havoc on his ability to process what's happening in a healthy manner. all he can think about is how bitter and tired he is of this. and so he breaks.

of course it was wrong. he was literally attempting to kill the team by the end. none of this excuses the choices he made or the things he said, and he has to be held accountable for all of it. but more than anything, lotor is an example of how a person as human (for lack of a better word) as anyone else can be incredibly hurtful, how his end of self-destruction is brought about by the very authentic experience of wanting the happiness that has been continually taken away from him, and how this self-destruction is implicitly tied into his isolation.

the importance of a support system

this is probably one of the defining themes of vld. although it sometimes doesn't deliver on the paladins as a family unit, we get numerous arcs throughout the show about one character helping to emotionally support another through something difficult, and it's emphasized several times that every person in the team is deeply concerned with the individual wellbeing of their other team members/friends. as a show about a bunch of somewhat-strangers having to come together and form a giant robot mech in order to literally save the universe through the power of teamwork and cooperation, this isn't really surprising.

so let's look at lotor. he's incapable of having a positive connection with either side of his heritage as a whole—the galra have abused him and most of the known universe, the alteans either never recognize him as one of their own unless he tells them or end up victims of his own vampiric needs. the only person from his history he can draw strength and purpose from is honerva, his long-dead mother—and then he discovers that she survived quite well to become one of his greatest demons. his relationship with his generals is fairly good, but their dynamic is always more professional than casual—and then he kills narti and later claims he will kill any and all galra that stand against him. he and the paladins tentatively befriend each other, he and allura fall in love with each other—and then it's revealed that he hid very dirtied hands from them in the process. all of them abandon or turn against him. and by the end, he pilots sincline alone, in sharp contrast to the recently-reunited team of five in voltron.

repeatedly, we see lotor as a desperate seeker for connection who inevitably sabotages himself through his own actions, driving away every one of his friends and associates. this final collapse of his already-fragile support system is what leads directly to his self-destruction.

officially, lotor's been described as a secret azula the writers were trying to trick us into believing was a zuko. it's a fair description, but not in the sense that he was an evil villain, and that misconception ought to be cleared away. anyone who's watched avatar: the last airbender understands that azula, as dramatic and stunning a villain as she was, was far less someone to hate for her deeds than she was someone to pity—she was a tragedy who never got to grow away from the abuse of her father the way zuko did, and who brought about her own self-destruction through her toxicity and subsequent isolation.

the parallels are very obvious, and i suspect the reduction in similar reception when it comes to lotor is because 1. it's a lot easier to sympathize with a teenage girl who already had characters in-story to sympathize with her and fill in her background of abuse, and 2. fandom culture now is different and much less forgiving to its villains.

in many ways, lotor had the chances azula never got. like zuko, lotor was exiled in disgrace and spent a significant amount of time away from home; like zuko, lotor got the chance to uninternalize his abuse; like zuko, lotor demonstrated qualities from the beginning that made him more similar to the protagonists than the villains. the one thing lotor never got, however, was an uncle iroh: someone with the maturity, energy, and willingness to stay by his side through his unhealthy behavior, support him by promoting healthy behavior, and give him the unwavering love and forgiveness and faith that he was never able to receive from anyone else.

instead, lotor more or less had to figure it out on his own, which is challenging enough without adding isolation and high amounts of stress into the mix. by the end of s6, lotor was probably unconsciously seeking out a similar kind of relationship through allura, but the problem is in how demanding that type of support is. no one is really obligated to expend that amount of effort on anyone, no matter how positive of a result it might create. uncle iroh sacrificed a lot to give zuko the encouragement he needed to find a healthier state of mind, even suffering through his multiple missteps off the path that hurt iroh and everyone else around him, and zuko understood this by the time they reunited in the campgrounds of the order of the lotus.

team voltron, on the other hand, would never have been able to give lotor that kind of support for a myriad of reasons, youth and conflicting priorities and unfamiliarity with lotor among them, much less should have. many of the circumstances were also different—much more difficult with a 10,000-year-old character whose missteps include the abuse of a colony of already oppressed people, after all.

lm and jds have also drawn a similar comparison between lotor and keith (link). they share similar backgrounds—complicated family situation, absent mother, interpersonal issues borne from a history of isolation—but unlike lotor, keith found someone to guide him away from a downward spiral: shiro. ("i will never give up on you.") this difference between the two of them is explicitly acknowledged as what saved keith from self-destruction.

lotor was not an irredeemable character by far, and for some of us who were excited by the potential we saw, the end of s6 was disappointing. but within the context of the show and the progression of the plot, lotor's self-destruction was the logical path for him to go. it probably isn't the ultimate end of lotor; he didn't die, after all. but all things considered, i feel that lotor was ultimately treated with respect, and his arc added things to the story we never would've gotten otherwise.

(if we want a happy story, well, that's what we can write fanfiction for, right?)

#voltron #voltron meta #vld s6 #lotor #allura #readmore #long post #prim post #prim says some things

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viking-hel · 7 years ago

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Sansa and Dragonflies

As we know, Sansa has worn dragonfly motifs in the show and whilst there has been no direct reference at any point in the books, I think there is some interesting significance in her wearing this particular animal. This little piece has likely been done before, but I was inspired by this post.

I went about the entity that is Google to find out about dragonflies both in the show, books and real world beliefs (though taken with a grain of salt because I am wary of talking about animal symbolism from the internet, especially from cultures not my own).

Anyway, in my scouring of the internet, I came across a few sites that describe what dragonflies have meant in the past. They all seem to have similar veins of thought and belief.

Here, dragonflies are spoken of as follows:

“The dragonfly, in almost every part of the world symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization.” - dragonfly-site.com

This site explains that the change and change in perspective of self realisation and understanding is based in emotional and mental maturity. For Sansa, she has come a long way since the first season, where her behaviour was not truly a ringing endorsement for her, but she was a child, and even we have acted similarly in our lives (else we’d be lying to ourselves).

Since her father’s execution, she has been left in a viper’s nest of people wishing her harm and to use her as they saw fit because she is the all important ‘Key to the North’. She has been beaten, attacked by her husband and suffered so many trials, both physical and mental that she has gone from “porcelain, to ivory, to steel.” The emotional roller-coaster and subsequent maturing Sansa has had to go through means that she now sees things from a new perspective and maybe even sees a deeper meaning in life, at least in regard to playing the game but as of Season 7, the meaning and importance of working together for the greater good of the whole realm because of the impending attack from the NK.

The dragonfly - according to the aforementioned site - also represents power and poise, both of which we see in the seasons following her father’s death: “courtesy is a lady’s armour.” Dragonflies are incredibly agile creatures, able to fly in many directions and for all their size, they demonstrate a type of power for it.

“The awe inspiring aspect is how the dragonfly accomplishes its objectives with utmost simplicity, effectiveness and well, if you look at proportions, with 20 times as much power in each of its wing strokes when compared to the other insects. The best part is that the dragonfly does it with elegance and grace that can be compared to a veteran ballet dancer. If this is not a brazen, lazy, overkill in terms of display of raw power, what is?” - dragonfly-site.com

Sansa is the only queen in Season 7, out of her, Cersei and DT actually working with ledgers, people and fulfilling expected duties of a lady of a castle, because these women had a lot of responsibility when leading a household. I find the paragraph above to be quite fitting for Sansa. She accomplishes her goals in collecting and storing food, ensuring people have a place to retreat to if the need arises and correctly crafting armour for Winter. By doing things so seemingly mundane - maybe seen as simple - she does them effectively and well, and shall have achieved more integral things than the other two ladies. All they care for is the IT; not wholly the welfare of everyone else. Or they may, once they have the throne, but only then and not before. Sansa knows everyone must work together in order to survive. She is not like DT who comes flying in raining fire and destruction on the people in large displays of raw power. Sansa is careful and cunning because she has learnt from the best in Petyr Baelish.

Another site - spiritanimal.info - (grain of salt, please) present these meanings to dragonflies:

“Change and transformation Adaptability Joy, lightness of being Symbol of the realm of emotions, invitation to dive deeper into your feeling[s] Being on the lookout for illusions and deceit[s], whether [are] external or personal Connection with nature’s spirits, fairies realms” - spiritanimal.info

These match up somewhat to what was presented from the other website, with some additions I think are important to consider with Sansa in mind. There is also a Quora Question that adds to what will follow.

Adaptability and the dragonfly’s flying mean that, whilst they are the prey animal of birds - such as mockingbirds, and whose personal sigil is that? - they have every chance of dodging those which chase them, to outmanoeuvre them. Dragonflies also have the ability to blend in with their backgrounds in order to be lost of those who wish to eat them, “courtesy is a lady’s armour.” This could even be said to be seen in her wardrobe as she lives in KL with the Lannisters: here is a post on Sansa’s choice of wardrobe.

In the beginning of the series/books, Sansa was likely a cheery joyful girl, supported by the fact when she was born bells rang all day, suggesting that she is meant to be seen - in some form - as child of happiness and delight.

But she has also been trained now to ‘play a little game’ to find out just what people want from her, and though she may be a slow learned, she has learned all the same to sniff out illusions and deceits. She does so much more effectively than Cersei and definitely better than DT, who would rather come in guns blazing in a display of raw power

Now, for my final part. The Prince of Dragonflies. In both the Quora question and the post on Sansa’s wardrobe above, they talk about Jenny of Oldstones and the Prince of Dragonflies. This needs book context.

Prince of Dragonflies is Prince Duncan T*rgaryen (censored for obvious reasons as you’ll find). He was the eldest son of Aegon the Unlikely and his wife, Betha Blackwood (may or may not be related to a Stark ancestress, Melantha Blackwood!).

He is depicted as having dark hair and was in line for the throne because he was the oldest son, but he met a woman named Jenny of Oldstones; a commoner from the Riverlands and seen as unfit to ever be queen. He had been betrothed to marry a daughter of Lord Lyonel Baratheon, but instead he married Jenny. As a result, Lyonel was deeply insulted and shamed, he started an uprising for the dishonour and renounced his fealty and called himself Storm King.

As a result of marrying Jenny, Duncan renounced his claim to the throne and became known as the Prince of the Dragonflies. In doing marrying for love and giving up his duty, Duncan caused a very bloody conflict. Once the rebellion was thwarted, Rhaelle his sister, married Lyonel’s son, Ormund, and became Robert’s grandmother in due course.

It was because of Jenny of Oldstones that the prophecy of the Prince that was Promised came to be known, for she was good friends with a woods witch - Ghost of High Heart - who told the family that he would come from the line of Aerys and Rhaella.

This is perhaps supporting evidence for Jonsa in the show and perhaps in the books indirectly by using dragonfly motifs for Sansa. As you may know, Jonsa is not my main priority in the end, but it is something that I agree works better than DT.

A dark-haired Targ marries for love, not for duty as heir to the throne and consequently infuriates and shames another noble, leading to a bloody conflict.

We have suggested that if Jon loves Sansa he will shirk duty for her, perhaps angering DT and subsequently bring about another civil war for the IT because his claim is much more valid than DT’s for various reasons.

But one other little piece of interesting information from dragonfly-site.com and is likely where Duncan got his Prince of Dragonflies moniker. It is the myth that dragonflies were named so because it was believed they were once dragons.

Again, someone else has probably wrote about this and I’ve just not found it!

#sansa and dragonflies #sansa x jon #Jonsa #jonsa meta

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kaylahill94 · 4 years ago

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#How Save Marriage From Divorce Top Tips #Save A Codependent Relationship

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