#where is the evidence that he was bad with children? he had five younger brothers!!!

[thelordofgifs]

hahaha imply that Maglor was a useless incompetent foster parent and Maedhros was the brains of the operation doing all the practical and emotional childcare for comedic effect again. go on do it. I dare you.

[robininthelabyrinth]

A-Yuan wasn’t the only child among the Wen Remnants, just the youngest.

Children's Day - ao3

Lan Wangji carefully scooped up the boy out of his hiding place, tucked beneath a pile of stones, sick with fever and fast asleep.

It was a good hiding place. If Lan Wangji hadn’t played Inquiry and demanded to know if there were any living beings around in this cursed place of death, he would never have found the small child.

He remembered him – this was little A-Yuan, who Wei Wuxian had taken down into town to play, the one Lan Wangji had bought all those toys for in his confusion, the one who called him rich-gege. Barely more than two years old, having never known anything but war.

He was all that was left, now. There was nothing else left in the battlefield.

No one else left.

Lan Wangji closed his eyes in pain.

I’ll care for him for you, he promised Wei Wuxian’s ghost, wherever it might be now. Now that you cannot.

I’ll take him back to Gusu to raise as my own – wishing you were by my side.

-

-Earlier-

“Sect Leader!” one of his aides cried out when he staggered back into camp. “What – who’s that?”

Jiang Cheng looked down at the girl in his arms. She was – four, maybe? Five? He had no idea.

She looked a bit like Wen Qing.

“I found her hiding in the corner of the battlefield when she made a noise,” he said hoarsely. “The Wen sect remnants…by the time I got there, they were almost all dead already, all her family. She’s – she’s young. It didn’t seem right.”

Wei Wuxian always liked children, he thought vaguely to himself as he looked down at her. It wasn’t so much of a surprise that he would keep one there…in fact, if he thought back to that horrible meeting they’d had that one time he’d come to the Burial Mounds to try to talk to Wei Wuxian, he thought he remembered there being a small child there. This must be her.

She was bigger than he remembered, but that was what happened with small children, wasn’t it?

“Her surname is Wen?”

“No,” Jiang Cheng snapped automatically, and his aide took a step back from his vehemence. “The Wen sect is dead, you understand? All of them. The cultivation world refused to allow them to live, that much is obvious enough. Her surname…”

He looked down at her.

I failed Wei Wuxian, he thought grimly. I won’t fail his legacy.

“Her surname will be Jiang.”

-

-Earlier-

“We found this child hiding in the Demon Subduing Cave,” one of the guards reported, looking nervous. “Lianfeng-zun – what do we do with them?”

Jin Guangyao frowned down at the child, judging the child’s age to be about five or six – maybe seven, considering the likelihood of malnutrition at the Burial Mounds. If they were any younger, he would’ve said that the child ought to just execute them as useless; any older, and he would’ve had no choice but to declare them an enemy combatant, and thereby order them executed.

At this age, though…they were still young enough to be taught to forget their current surname, and to learn new loyalties, and yet old enough to perhaps remember a little of what they had learned, living as they had for a few years with the inventor of demonic cultivation.

Jin Guangyao glanced at the papers in his hands, full of barely legible scribbles, laying out powerful new spells and interesting ideas. They would help Xue Yang with his work – but not as much as a helper would, and naturally they’d just brutally executed all the other ‘helpers’ that might have been available.

Not exactly Jin Guangyao’s personal preference, but he wasn’t the one leading the Jin sect army.

Still, his father, who had been the one leading, had retired to his tent, and now Jin Guangyao was the one with the power, left to be in charge of mopping up. That, in turn, gave him a little more leeway, which meant he could implement his own thoughts, rather than badly thought out instructions.

“Put the child in my tent,” he said, and smiled. “The poor thing must have gotten lost and entered the battlefield – after we arrived. You understand?”

The guard saluted deeply. “Lianfeng-zun is kind and beneficent,” he said, and his expression was worshipful. “I will tell the others that the child is from some distant Jin branch.”

Jin Guangyao hadn’t intended for him to do that, but – well, he couldn’t exactly refute it now, could he, and anyway there were worse things to happen. Everyone would know that he had kindly taken in some orphaned child of war, which would be good for his reputation.

He smiled and nodded, and thought of the future.

-

-Earlier-

“Well, shit,” Nie Mingjue said, staring at the trio of children: nine or ten years old, he thought, maybe a little older, two girls and a boy. They stared back at him, wide-eyed and terrified – they were very clearly trying to sneak off the Burial Mounds down the back way.

Nie Mingjue rubbed his face, glad that he’d insisted on doing the forward scout work before the attack tomorrow morning himself rather than let it go to someone else. He hadn’t wanted to come to this blasted place in the first place, being that he still wasn’t sure exactly what had gone down with Wei Wuxian, who’d been a good man once. But good Nie cultivators had died at Lanling City at Wen Ning’s hands, the Jin sect claiming that that brutal attack was at Wei Wuxian’s instigation, and at the Nightless City at Wei Wuxian’s hands directly, and he didn’t have any evidence to exculpate the man, either; he had no grounds to look the families of those Nie cultivators in the eye and tell them not to pursue vengeance against the man who had slaughtered their brothers and fathers and sons, sisters and mothers and daughters, like they meant nothing.

They deserved vengeance.

Just as he had, for his father.

But at the same time…

“You’re all surnamed Wen, I take it?” he asked, and they slowly nodded. “Dafan Wen?”

Another nod.

“Wrong answer,” he said, making a snap decision. This wasn’t like his father at all, not really; he had wanted to kill Wen Ruohan, who had done the deed himself, while these children clearly hadn’t done anything. “Swear to me here and now that you won’t seek revenge for your sect or family, and you can be surnamed Nie instead.”

They looked at each other.

“Your family didn’t send you to run away because they wanted you to take revenge,” he said. It was a guess, but he could tell from the way their shoulders sagged that he was right. “They wanted you to live. Well?”

They swore.

He took them home.

-

-Earlier-

She tripped and fell flat on her face.

“Hey, girl!”

She looked up, eyes wide with terror – she hadn’t expected to be caught so soon – but the cultivator in front of her didn’t strike her down. He was a young man, just a few years older than her, and he looked nice, kneeling to help her up.

“Are you all right?” he asked. “Did you get lost?”

Lost? From where would she get lost, exactly?

Despite that, she nodded.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Here isn’t a good place, though – we’re going to have a battle tomorrow…can you tell me where you’re from?” He frowned. “Or – can’t you speak?”

An idea suddenly came to mind, and she shook her head, lifting up her hands to mime signs like the ones she’d seen Lady Wen and her brother use sometimes when they needed to talk without disturbing others.

“Doesn’t talk,” he murmured to himself. “Clothing of white, ripped all to ribbons –”

She’d torn out any trace of the red sun. White was a common color, but she was old enough to know that she couldn’t let anyone know she was surnamed Wen.

“Oh, I’ve read about this before! Are you a bird yao that’s cultivated to humanity?”

What?

She’d been thinking of trying to pass as a traumatized war veteran, but she was only fourteen, after all; it wasn’t very believable. Of course, it was a lot more believable that bird yao – who would leap to that conclusion?

“My surname is Ouyang,” the man said, smiling brightly at her. “You should come back with me – I can teach you to speak, and we can give you a name…how about ‘Luo’ as a surname? That has to do with birds. Or we could surname you Bai, instead, since your clothing is white! Or maybe -”

She smiled helplessly at his nonsense. What a silly, cheerful man! Maybe she’d overestimated his age, he couldn’t be more than two or three years older, at most, and his brain was clearly not in the right place, filled up to the brim with romantic stories and adventure tales instead of facts.

It was a nice change, actually.

She accepted his hand as she stood.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

-

-Earlier-

Lan Wangji had returned home and submitted to a dreadful punishment. The elders he had injured on Wei Wuxian’s behalf were either in treatment or recovering.

As for the rest that had been at the Nightless City…

Many were dead.

Lan Qiren landed in the Burial Mounds, lips pressed tightly together.

He knew he was taking a risk in coming here to Wei Wuxian’s lair – no matter what Lan Wangji thought, whatever good points he’d had in the past, the man was now little better than a mad dog. He’d caused the death of three thousand people just the day before, three thousand innocents that hadn’t had anything to do with anything; why would he hesitate to attack his old teacher?

There was already talk of a siege – Jiang Cheng himself had promised to lead it, to wipe off the stain on the Jiang sect’s record, and the Jin sect had been right behind him. Even Nie Mingjue had been dragged in against his will, suborned by his sect members’ need for vengeance. As for the Lan Sect…Lan Xichen had looked so stricken by the thought that Lan Qiren had volunteered for the grim duty, despite Lan Qiren having never been much of a fighter and even less of a general. He intended to take only the smallest possible contingent, and to limit their work as much as possible to cleansing the dead rather than killing those who remained there – that much, at least, he could do for his nephew.

Either way, though, no matter his powers, Wei Wuxian would not live out the week.

If Lan Qiren desired vengeance, he need only wait.

And yet, here he was.

Alone, practically unarmed – and here nonetheless.

An old woman came out from the cave and squinted at him.

“It’s over,” she said sadly. “Isn’t it?”

Lan Qiren looked at her. One of the Wen remnants that Wei Wuxian had surrounded himself with, he assumed; the ones he’d given up his comfortable life for, claiming he was only acting as a righteous man ought. Perhaps he even had thought he was, back then.

Perhaps he really had been, back then.

“Yes,” Lan Qiren said, and cleared his throat. “After what he did at the Nightless City – the verdict is unquestionably death. But the rest of you…there are armies coming, and armies are not known for their leniency, especially not on passerby with the wrong surname. But they’re not here yet. There’s still time to flee – if you go now, you could take on a new surname and find some quiet place to live on.”

Lan Wangji had said they were civilians. Civilian life was to be prioritized above all else.

Lan Qiren was only doing what he must.

Despite his well-meant warnings, however, the old lady shook her head.

“There’s nowhere to go, and we won’t give up our surname,” she said, polite but stubborn to the last. “But thank you for taking the time to come here to tell us.”

“Wangji said that there were children here,” Lan Qiren insisted, ignoring her refusal. “If you won’t flee with them, at least send those that are old enough out on their own, and hide the younger ones. Tell them to forget their surnames – most people won’t rampantly murder children, so there’s a chance they’ll make it through, and live. Can you deny them that, just for pride?”

That gave the old woman pause.

“We’ll do what we can,” she said, and then eyed him. “How good are you at medicine?”

Lan Qiren frowned. “I can’t provide care –”

“She’s already dead. Come help anyway.”

The woman in question was not already dead, but dying – she was in her late teens, seventeen or eighteen at most, and she was in labor. From the glassiness of her eyes, the redness of her cheeks, and the threadiness of her pulse, it was clear that infection had long ago set in. It was not an exaggeration to say she was dead, little better than a corpse.

She was little more than a child.

“I don’t want her to die alone,” the old woman said. “But if you stay with her, I can use the time to try to take care of the rest. You’re not wrong, I suppose – the children, at least, deserve a chance to live on, even if it means leaving our surname behind.”

Lan Qiren looked down at the woman, unconscious already and unlikely to ever wake, and yet still whimpering. “And her child?”

The old woman looked surprised. “Can a child born like this still live?”

Lan Qiren had almost no medical training beyond the most superficial basics that were the necessity for any battlefield or night-hunt, with one sole exception: he had supervised the births of both his nephews by himself with little aid – his brother’s wife hadn’t wanted anyone else to be present, possibly in an attempt to prematurely enter her grave, possibly just out of spite. He had studied very hard in the days leading up to those births, and knew far more on the subject than most men did.

“It’s possible,” he said. “Unlikely, but – possible.”

He hesitated for a long moment.

“I can take the baby,” he finally said. “Pass him off as some war-orphan child of distant Lan cousins, sent to me on account of their deaths. I could raise him, or else give him to my cousin to raise; he’s got a large enough family that no one would question it.”

“Why would you do that?”

Lan Qiren looked at the woman who was dying, little more than a child herself. “Because of the children I can’t help.”

The old woman was quiet for a little while.

“Very well,” she said, and leaned forward to whisper the name the young woman had thought about for her child into his ear. “That works with Lan as a surname, wouldn’t it? That’s not bad.”

“Not bad at all,” Lan Qiren agreed, and rolled up his sleeves, settling down beside the girl. “Not bad at all.”

[firesoulstuff]

Meet-Cutes #22 with any arrowverse ship you want. It's a really cute prompt

I've been on a kick of Zaray feels lately!

Ray doesn’t remember too many details about his parents’ divorce and the subsequent custody hearings. Oh, he remembers sitting in that courtroom, bored to tears and yet hanging on to every word that was spoken. He remembers trying to keep track, to figure out which way his and Sydney’s future was leaning at any given moment. It seemed to always be changing; from split custody, to dad was moving too far away, so then it was going to be sole custody to one parent or the other. But of course he and Sydney were asked, and they were young, so Ray isn’t sure how much of a factor their opinions really was. Regardless they each had different preferences, and so eventually the arrangement was reached. During the school year Ray would live with mom in Ivy Town, and Sydney with Dad in Seattle, and during the summers Ray would go to Seattle for five weeks before returning to mom and Ivy Town with Sydney, who would stay until the start of school another five weeks down the line. Holidays and school breaks alternate, and it’s all a bit of a mess but now that they’re fifteen he and Sydney can get around that mess a little easier. They find ways to get it adjusted if need be, but it’s a pain, so last week Ray packed his bags and came for his five weeks in Seattle.

Which means going with his dad to a cookout for his company.

It isn’t bad… But he doesn’t exactly know any of the other kids. Even if he did, there aren’t any his age. It’s mostly little kids, the oldest is probably ten. He can tell some of the younger adults around are mostly “kids” who were dragged to this party, but they’re older than he is.

Sydney managed to weasel his way out of coming; plans with his friends at the beach. He didn’t seem to think to invite his brother, so here Ray is, dragged along with his dad because “it’ll be fun.”

It is not fun.

Still, this isn’t a setting he’s unfamiliar with. He’s been to plenty of mom’s work functions before and he’s always the oldest. He either spends the day on his own or as a babysitter. None of the young children here have approached him yet, but he won’t rule out that possibility. It’s fine if they do, it’ll pass the time. The cookout is in the back lot of a community center, and it’s sunny, so he’s found a nice spot against a wall where he can enjoy the sun while sipping a soda only twenty feet or so away from where the younger kids are playing.

They’re mostly chasing each other around, playing tag or some made-up game of the like. Two little boys have a remote-control helicopter that they’re carefully maneuvering around a grove of bushes a safe distance from the other kids.

Plop.

He looks into his cup, his brow furrowed, and a pebble sinking down through the middle of his soda.

He turns his head in time with a scratching noise coming from above him, and more pebbles sliding down off the roof overhead, evidently kicked loose by a girl.

She’s about his age, with dark hair tied back into a ponytail and her lip snagged between her teeth.

“Sorry.” She says, “I slipped.”

“It’s ok.” He says, and it’s about then he realizes he’s staring at her. At her black converse and black skinny jeans. At her black tank top with her red and black flannel hanging open over it. It’s a lot of black, he realizes suddenly, but it works for her. It doesn’t intimidate him like his peers who dress in that much black normally do. Then again it isn’t orchestrated in a way that he thinks is supposed to send a message like that, although she is sitting on a roof.

“You ok down there?” She asks, interrupting his thoughts, and he feels like he, somehow, physically stutters.

“Uh, yeah.” He manages. “How did you get up there?”

She looks behind her, like she is either checking something or deciding whether she is going to share her secret or not, before she turns back.

“Climbed from the tree.”

He nods, looks over around the side of the building and at the rather large, if skinny, tree growing just at the corner. He looks up at her again, and she’s watching him.

“Uh… Can I… Can I join you?” She shrugs, “Sure.”

She says so easily, almost confused, like she can’t understand why he’s asking. So he’ll take that for what it’s worth and goes around back to the tree.

Again, the large but skinny tree.

He wraps his hands at either side of the trunk, white bark flaking off at his touch. He gives an experimental shake but the tree hardly wiggles. Ok, good.

There’s a branch hanging low, just high enough for him to grab but… Nothing else within reach once he has that.

The girl is now coming to this side of the roof, stopping at the very edge, with her eyebrows scrunched as she watches him try and decide a next move.

“Here,” She finally says, and he notes her tucking in her tank top. “Let me show you.”

Then, she jumps.

She lands beside him in a crouch, and she straightens up and brushes her hands off from the landing then lightly nudges him aside. She’s shorter than he is, almost by a whole head. She can’t reach the branch just by sticking her arm up. She looks up at it, and then before he can ask if she has some other tactic she jumps and latches onto the branch with both hands and a grunt. He then watches – in nothing short of awe – as she proceeds to curl her body in and upside-down, her legs swinging up between her hands so her knees can hook over the branch. Once she’s secured by her knees she drops her hands and hangs fully upside down. She doesn’t waste anytime moving her hands to the trunk of the tree where she uses them to pull herself up, careful and calculated, walking her palms over the rough bark of the tree. Eventually she’s sitting upright on the low branch and as she walks her hands higher she’s able to use her feet. She’s able to stand, and from there she simply steps over to the roof.

Then, she’s watching him expectantly again.

He reaches again and grabs the branch, and then looks down at his feet still planted firm on the ground, and then back up to the girl.

“Um… I’m not sure I can get my legs up like that.”

She frowns, and as he looks at the tree again an idea strikes him.

He turns sideways so that he’s facing the trunk of the tree and reaches his other hand to the branch. He manages to jump up and walk his feet up the trunk, at least enough that he can eventually turn and half pull his body up over the branch, and when he gets that far she’s able to grab a hand and pull him the rest of the way up.

“Thanks.” He huffs, dusting himself off, and he looks around.

The view actually isn’t much. It’s mostly more slants and slopes of the large pavilion roof. They’re in plain view of any onlookers, but no one seems exceptionally worried about them being up here. He follows her back to the ledge where he’d originally found her, his soda cup now discarded below, and he’s surprised to find an open bag of cheese balls waiting for them.

Or, actually, for some reason he isn’t surprised.

“I’m Ray.” He introduces himself as they sit, her taking a cheese ball for herself before tilting the bag to him.

“Zari.”

He smiles, takes a cheeseball, and for a minute it’s just the sound of them chewing.

“You get dragged along too?”

She snorts, “My options were come here with my dad and my brother, or go shopping with my mom and sister.”

He nods, “My brother was supposed to come but he had plans.” “Ouch.”

“Yeah.”

She laughs then, he does too, and ok, something lights up in his chest. He can’t help it. He knows it’ll never happen, deep down, but all these summers spent coming to Seattle for weeks at a time… sometimes he likes to think maybe he’ll meet a girl here someday. The whole “star-crossed lovers scenario”. It’s… Well, he likes to hope.

“So what are you hiding up here from?”

She pops another cheeseball in her mouth. “Well, I’m not hiding, cause my dad already saw me. But he can’t exactly drag me down from here so…” She shrugs, and then sighs. “Do you really want to know?”

He blinks, and he nods.

“Ok.” She says, and she points out to the party below them. “So, you and me might be the only kids older than seven here, but some of these other guys have kids our age. We’re just the two losers who didn’t have anything better to do today. Now I don’t know all those kids, but the ones I do know suck.”

“But they’re not here.”

“But their parents are.” She says, “And like me, a lot of them are Muslim. Which means parents are starting to think about… futures and… arranging marriages.”

Ray balks. He… He hadn’t thought she could be hiding from something like that.

“Don’t worry, no one forces anything.” She’s quick to assure him, almost laughing – she must see the horror on his face. “Not everyone even does an arranged marriage. But some do, and my parents promised to not go that route with us unless we ask them too. But, for now, my dad might still try and set me up.”

Again, Ray blinks.

He knows, logically, that modern-day arranged marriages are nothing like the tragedies he’s read about in books. He knows too that parents of all backgrounds start to think about their kids futures when they’re teenagers. Hell, him and Sydney, even their mom has expressed concern that if Sydney doesn’t get his act together he’s going to settle down with the first girl he meets in a post-high school crisis and end up divorced by twenty-two.

“Does he want you to get married right away?”

She shakes her head.

“He said he would prefer I didn’t.” She explains, “No, actually I think he’s looking more for my sister, she’s more into the whole marriage idea than I am. But I’m the one here today.”

He nods, “So what do you want to do?”

She shrugs, “Don’t know. You?”

“Well, I’m planning to go to either Hudson University or Harvard, and then I want to start my own tech company. I have a protype design for a nanochip I’m working on, hopefully when it’s fully operational with can be used to restore mobility to people suffering paralysis from spinal cord injuries.”

Out of habit he starts to trail a bit near the end of that. He… He gets that science isn’t everyone’s thing, and normally when people as what you want to do after high school they aren’t expecting an answer like that.

“Ok.” She says, seemingly mildly confused. “So that would technically be a logic chip, correct?”

Ray isn’t sure he has ever smiled brighter.

They talk microchips and tech for what feels like hours. He learns she’s mostly a gamer, but between repairing her consoles from the damage that comes from living in a house with three kids and hacking various online games, she’s come to know her way around tech and computers. He gets her handle for a specific game he plays online with a friend back home, and eventually when someone yells for the two of them to get off the roof he’s reluctant, and only partly because he isn’t nearly as graceful in his landing as she is.

“You gonna be on tonight?” She asks, as he gets up, and a man is motioning for her off in the distance. Must be her dad, time for her to go. “I know glitch. Can spit you out right in the center of Salvation.”

Salvation being the Old West realm of the game, and near impossible realm to get into because it’s home to a host of power ups.

Franky, he would rather fight his way in past the guards fair and square, but he has been trying that for weeks.

“Sure.” He says, and she smiles at him, then heads off to meet her dad.

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Not just a soft princess - Azula x female reader imagine: Part Two

You arrive at the fire nation and things do not go as Azula planned, mainly because she didn’t expect to be putting her own neck on the line to protect you from her father...but that’s exactly what she finds herself doing more and more. 

Part one here

Part three here

Part four here

Part five here

Part six here

Your POV

The ship landed just as the sun was rising and you expected to be shown to a room to sleep but instead Azula started towards the palace and gestured for you to follow. The dai li were sent down another corridor and you hesitated but Azula called your name sharply and so you turned away. You had no idea where Azula was taking you, all you heard her say was “he will want to see her” to two guards who hastily got out of her way. You were so angry and scared you didn’t take in the grand decor or extravagant wealth of the fire nation. You just followed Azula as you went further into the belly of the beast. When you got closer Azula dismissed everyone apart from you but one person didn’t leave. Her brother Zuko stayed and Azula narrowed her eyes. She yanked him to the side and they argued in whispers but eventually Azula won. You wondered if she ever lost....Zuko turned back the way you’d come and disappeared around a corner. Azula carried on walking without saying anything and anxious not to be left behind you hurried after her. You finally reached a huge throne room lined with fire and gaped. "Father" Azula said sprawling on the floor in a bow. The figure in the fire turned and looked at you both before fixing it’s eyes on you. Azula shot you a look but you made no attempt to move "you said nothing about bowing, i am still princess of the earth kingdom". Azula narrowed her eyes when suddenly the figure moved out of the fire. Fire lord Ozai loomed before you and glanced over you “so this is the princess" Ozai said coming to stand right infront of you. He lifted your chin with his hand and stared in your eyes harshly. "You are now our ally so i will excuse this lapse in judgement just this once...but in the future you will bow to me and only me. We are allies but i your king, do you understand?". He jerked his hand away but you didn’t let you chin drop, the fire lord glared at you but you matched his eye defiantly. You saw Azula watching anxiously so eventually looked away "yes fire lord Ozai" and lowered your head. "Good" Ozai replied. You doubted you had a choice. “You will rest and prepare for tonight”. “What’s tonight?” you asked and Ozai smirked cruelly “why our victory party of course”.

Azula’s POV

After you left Azula stayed, anxious to hear her father’s praises but they never came. “She is your responsibility” he said simply and Azula looked up “the princess?”. “Well who else?” he snapped “it was stupid bringing her here, you should’ve killed her when you could”. “I couldn’t...there’s no way the city would’ve allowed it, they would not have surrendered if we harmed her, the only way to assure victory was with her help”. “She is not broken and that is a problem” Ozai glared “it will be your job to break her, if you fail or if she causes even a whiff of treachery....you will face the consequence” he glared “yes?”. Azula bowed her head “yes father”. Her father made a noise and swept past her, stepping on her sleeve as he passed. Azula frowned wiping away the dirt and stood up. If you were her responsibility then she had to make sure you behaved, she had work to do.

Your POV

You were led through another maze of corridors until you were eventually released into your room. As prison cells went it was beautiful. Large and tastefully decorated you found yourself admiring the room when suddenly the door was thrown open. Servants brought in boxes and boxes of supplies and you frowned “what is all this?”. “Clothes” Azula said appearing “you need to look nice for the firelord’s presentation tonight, the servants will choose what you are to wear and help you to get ready”. “Because I am incapable of doing that myself?” you asked and Azula glared. “Because this is too important an alliance to fail, you have no idea about fire nation customs or our traditions so if I were you i’d take every slither of help I could get...”. Azula backed away from you and went to leave but you weren’t done. “The dai li, where have you sent them? Tell me or I won’t go near any of these outfits”. Azula rolled her eyes “I have taken some for my personal protection but others will be deployed however I see fit”. You shook your head worried for the guards that had left their families because you said to. “I want to have some with me, I want them to be alternated regularly so I might make sure they are being treated well”. Azula glared “you are not in the position to bargain with me”. “Am I not?” you asked “you’re smart but you know if anything happens to me...if word gets back to the dai li or to Ba Sing Sei....your alliance falls away, what would your father think of that?”. You’d picked up on Azula’s fear of her father and felt bad using it on her but given what she’d done to your people you thought it fair. The servants all paused at the mention of Ozai and looked at you with obvious astonishment you’d dare test the princess but you didn’t care. If you were so important as Azula claimed she couldn’t touch you. With visible effort Azula’s shoulders lowered and she met your eyes. “I will see to it you always have a guard of four and they will rotate monthly, now is that all?” she asked sarcastically. You nodded your head and Azula strode from the room pushing over a servant that couldn’t get out of her way fast enough.

You unsurprisingly couldn’t rest and the ball came quicker than you expected. Before you knew it you were poked and prodded into a traditional earth kingdom dress nobody even wore anymore and thrust into the middle of the fire nation nobility. You were forced to sit by the firelord’s side for the duration of a large feast where he basically paraded you around as a trophy. He claimed you were allies working to strengthen your kingdom but you were a prisoner. Pretending to not be livid was hard and you took solace hoping your people were safe at least. That’s all that mattered.

Azula’s POV

"I feel sorry for her" Ty Lee sighed watching you “she looks so...awkward”. Azula glanced over to you and realised her friend was right. Despite looking every bit the beautiful exotic princess with a wide smile on your face your eyes were betraying you. You were miserable. “Well duh” Mai replied “do you think she’s happy to be here?”. The nobles had all certainly taken to you but Azula guessed that hadn’t helped. You were dressed in traditional earth kingdom clothes and primped like a delicate thing to sit in a display case. Azula noted you did look radiant and beautiful but you had been just as stunning when she first saw you in trousers and a loose tunic only that’d hadn’t looked half as forced. This, with your hair twisted up into an odd position and a corset squeezing you into a ridiculous shape, didn’t look like you at all...just a basic princess of the earth nation.

Azula watched as her father leant in to say something to you and you flinched away repulsed. You were still smiling but it was very clear you detested him. Her father either didn’t notice or didn’t care and he kept his close proximity to you. Azula thought it unwise for her father to keep pushing you, she wasn’t sure how long it’d be before you earth bent his chair away from you for coming close to you. Azula supposed that would be bad for appearances so made her way to her father. “Father” she said bowing “may I make a suggestion?”. Ozai nodded and she moved closer. “Perhaps if y/n could move around the room...people could see her better and it would look like more of an alliance, I could show her around if you liked?” she whispered. Ozai thought before nodding “yes that is a good idea”. Azula nodded and went to step towards you when Ozai cut her off “Zuko” he said turning to his son further down the table. Zuko jumped up and rushed over “yes father?”. “Y/n wishes to stretch her legs, take her for a walk around the room, give her a whole tour of the palace if you wish just make sure everyone sees the two of you together” he said pointedly. Zuko lowered his eyes and nodded “yes father”. You had evidently overheard and stood up as soon as Zuko looked at you. You rushed away from Ozai so quickly Zuko followed you in a daze.

Mai’s POV

Azula returned to Mai and Ty lee and she she evidently noticed Mai’s expression. “I didn’t mean for that to happen...”. “No, I knew it was only a matter of time before your father put his plan in place” Mai sighed. There were already chatters about you and Mai knew Ozai was anxious to assimilate you into the fire nation. An obvious and simple way would be to link your blood line to theirs and given you were only one year younger, you and Zuko seemed the obvious option. “I told you that won’t happen” Azula said sharply “she’s a princess she won’t be sold off like cattle”. “You sure about that?” Mai asked as the whole room followed you and Zuko with their eyes, whispers breaking out everywhere. Mai wasn’t so sure Azula was right this time. A marriage would so neatly tie up this whole business, any children you had would have claim to both the fire and earth nation meaning the fire nation could legitimately take over half the four nations. With you help Ozai wouldn’t even have to wipe the earth kingdom out, he’d more than double his population and reach an insane amount of power. Mai couldn’t see how he would resist that and so watched you warily.

Your POV

You’d only been in the fire nation a day but you were painfully aware of Ozai’s plan for you and so you were wary of Azula’s brother but honestly he seemed just as scared as you. He led you outside in silence, past all the people who muttered just loud enough for you to hear. He stopped at a balcony in full view of them all and silence settled. You were aware he probably also knew what his father had planned and were pleased he also seemed opposed to it. “So...how do you like the fire nation?” he asked awkwardly and you paused. “I honestly don’t know what to make of it, I haven’t been let out of my room all day so I haven’t had much chance to look around”. Zuko looked at you awkwardly “ow”. “Ow” you agreed and silence settled. Finally Zuko sighed “look I have to mention it...I know what my father has planned as do you...but I didn’t ask him for it and I won’t be speeding up the process I can assure you...er no offence”. You smiled surprised at his honesty “none taken, it’s a relief to hear you say that...no offence”. Zuko smiled dryly and silence settled again. You were confused by what Zuko had said though, why was he acting like he didn’t have a say? You were a prisoner but he was a prince, why didn’t he just tell his father no? “Not to sound rude but can’t you do something about it?” you asked suddenly and Zuko jumped. “Me? what makes you think I can do anything?”. “Well you’re the first born and the future king! Can’t you...refuse or something?”. Zuko laughed “things must’ve worked differently in your kingdom but here...lets just say speaking out against my father isn’t an option”. You frowned disheartened and Zuko touched his scar nervously before sighing “we should move around, my father wants them to see you...”. Zuko led you back into the party and you felt like a show dog being paraded around. You followed him dutifully until Azula appeared. “Princess Y/n” she said nodding to you “brother” she said sharply to Zuko “father has retired”. Zuko looked up and sure enough Ozai’s throne was empty. “He has?”. “Clearly” Azula snapped before turning to you “all he asked is that you stay at the party until the end but that does not mean you have to spend it with my brother, I wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone” Azula smirked. You smiled without meaning to but immediately felt bad for Zuko. The prince scoffed and barged past his sister most unimpressed and Azula laughed. “Not the most charismatic” she told you “but then we can’t all be so lucky to be blessed with people skills”. “You have people skills?” you asked and Azula narrowed her eyes, “just because I wasn’t trained to be a pretty smiley princess like you doesn’t mean I can’t handle people, i’m very good at getting what i want...you’re proof of that”. “Me?” you asked confused and Azula smirked “do you think you’d be here if I didn’t want you here?” and walked away leaving you confused.

1 week later

You soon realised you’d been premature to complain about your treatment on your first day in the fire nation. The day after the party you were awoken early and forced to dress and show your face around the fire nation nobles. Then you were drilled incessantly by some twin women about everything fire nation. The correct titles to use, who you must bow to, how you must style your hair....the list was endless and the women cruel and harsh. Your days were spent being prodded around by them, your evenings been paraded around whatever formal event was being thrown and the fire nation seemed to have an endless amount of events to prove their honour and pride. You soon caught on that the events were merely a way for Ozai to force you and Zuko in proximity to one another and so in response you tried avoiding the prince as much as was humanly possible. In truth you had nothing against Zuko, he seemed fine but you didn’t want to encourage any more contractual alliances, a marriage least of all. The only good thing about the situation was Zuko wasn’t the only fire nation royalty around. Strangely Princess Azula had been...helpful in that respect. Anywhere Zuko could go so could Azula, so anytime Ozai demanded Zuko go somewhere just so he could force you to do the same, Azula would also show up. So what would’ve turned into a date was just a royal outing. Even tonight, the fire lord had purposefully attempted to seat you and Zuko at the centre of the table. Azula had swiftly placed herself in the centre instead, both of you blocked by her and you found it rather entertaining. She was definitely the brains of the fire nation and for whatever reason she did not support a union between you and her brother.

Azula was oddly the member of the royal family you saw the most. On your “royal outings” you and Zuko largely ignored one another and with Azula and Zuko not getting on, it would be the two of you trading quips or light insults at one another all day. She’d also regularly appear in your schooling sessions too and when she did the women were a lot nicer to you. They obviously wanted to impress the princess and needed you to do that so went from shrieking furies to kind old women. You began to look forward to Azula’s visits in your lessons and found her presence oddly comforting in certain situations, like the formal events. Nobody dared approach you when Azula was next to you and it was refreshing. In her presence you were protected from the stares and rude behaviour of the fire nation nobels who had gotten bolder with their behaviour to you. Zuko would just look away but Azula would directly challenge anyone who showed you disrespect. She claimed it was because disrespect to you was disrespect to the fire lord but you weren’t so sure...there was something oddly endearing deep down in the princess. You didn’t see it often but when you did...you liked it.

But Azula wasn’t often vulnerable and you more often saw the harsher side of her, especially if she was in a bad mood and particularly if you were too. The two of you would clash and after a hard day of training you suspected the same could happen tonight. You’d had a bad day from being summonded to oversee the contract of your alliance you had no control over to the painful dress you’d been placed in tonight but the worst bit was Azula hadn’t shown up to your training session like she did every week and your teachers had taken it out on you. So you were already slightly miffed at her when she sidled up beside you in the throne room.

You were stood watching the other nobles lost in thought and clear confusion showed on your face. "What’s wrong with you...never been to a party before?" Azula asked. "Not one like this" you admitted and glanced at Azula. You were annoyed to see she looked nice (as always) but she was constantly dressed so formally. You hadn’t once seen her in normal clothing and it seemed as if the fire nation lived in formal wear. “So what’s with the face?” Azula asked jolting you out of your theory. "Is there no dancing in the fire nation? I’ve been here over a week and not once has anyone danced at any of these things" you said dismissively and Azula smirked "you like to dance?". You shrugged "my uncle loved it as did Bosco...it was infectious everyone would get up and dance too" you smiled at the memory "but here nobody seems to do much smiling or laughing…do you know how?". Azula narrowed her eyes "maybe if your city focused less of bears and parties it wouldn’t be ours now". You’d provoked her with your comment but you hadn’t meant to make her so angry. You’d learnt her temper could be far more fragile than your own but you were sick of appeasing it. She needed some to snap back at her and you’d give it her. You sighed deeply and glared "don’t pretend you won on merit alone you got lucky...the avatar gone, long feng over thrown, it wasn’t all your talent that won you the city and what was the point of it all anyway? Even with my city the fire nation’s still a miserable place. Nobody here seems happy or to like each other. That’s probably why you focus so much on other nations but what happens when you've conquered the world and you’re all left to your unhappy selves? At least we were happy on our own could the fire nation say the same?".

Azula’s POV

You turned and strode away before Azula could reply and she slammed her drink down in response. How dare you get the last word! It angered Azula so much she tried looking for you to continue the argument but couldn’t seem to find you. She was sure you’d disappeared on purpose and that made her even angrier. You were so spirited and had such a sharp tongue, it matched hers and that infuriated her. She had to admit you were similar to her in many respects and that made her both interested and agitated by you. "Princess Azula" a servant called and Azula snapped "what?" she yelled and the man cowered "your father wishes to speak to you and your brother...before the contract signing with princess y/n tomorrow". Azula straightened and ignored the people looking at her. She made her way to Ozai’s throne room and was annoyed to see she was the last one there. "Ah finally" her father called and Azula resisted the urge to point out if he’d have told her earlier she’d have been on time. "The contract is all drawn up, we will present it to y/n tomorrow. AIl the agreed terms are there plus an added clause for us". "What sort of clause?" Zuko asked and Ozai glanced at him "a clause that ensures y/n will always be of use to us". Azula found said clause and tensed, the clause basically signed your life over to the fire lord, he could use you however he saw fit. This meant Ozai could do whatever he wanted to you and it would be part of your alliance. Azula knew exactly what her father had in mind and he was stood across from her. Zuko looked at Azula confused as she stared at him and Zuko went to say something before she looked away. "It all seems to be in order why don’t i take it to her tonight?". Ozai shook his head "no it needs to be overseen by officials so there can be no question of it’s legitimacy". "We have a room full of them, i can get it sorted for you by tonight why wait for tomorrow?". Ozai frowned before nodding "why not" and handed it to her. Azula nodded in relief and clutched the document to her chest "i will return for you to sign it after y/n has" and she set out to find you.

1 hour later

Two dai li agents and two fire nation nobles gathered as your witnesses. You and Azula stood beside one another as she explained the terms to you. Hearing her voice made you angry again so you just sighed "give it here". Azula paused "but i haven’t finished". "I don’t care i know what we agreed to and i know the fire nation is stubborn so you obviously put it all in there, i read it before i don’t need to read it now". Azula shrugged and handed it over. You signed it and managed not to flinch as you saw your name printed on the line. "Done" you said "i’m officially fire nation property". Azula didn’t reply, she stared at the contract her mind clearly elsewhere. "Azula?" you asked and she looked at you "what?". "I was saying...never mind, can i leave?". Azula nodded her head "yes" and she sushed from the room.

That night

You were still moping in your room unable to get any sleep when you heard yelling. Your room was annoyingly close to the firelord’s and so you could hear when he was in a mood and that was often. However this one seemed particularly bad. You heard many feet running past your room to his study and frowned. You opened your down and called to one of your guards “what’s going on with the fire lord?”. The guard frowned "i shouldn’t say princess". "Is it bad?" you asked as doors slammed shaking the palace "can you tell me that at least?". The man frowned and you looked at him, he was one of your dai li, a man named Guomir that you had known since you were a child. “Guomir please?” you asked. You kept your gaze on him and he eventually sighed rolling his eyes “okay but don’t tell anyone I told you”. You smirked and gestured for the him to come into your room. He shut the door and turned to you “If the rumours are to be believed it is in relation to your treaty". "What" you cried "but i haven’t done anything, i signed exactly where they told me to". "There was a hidden clause it seems and fire lord Ozai thinks you betrayed him over it". "Hidden clause?" you asked "but i didn’t even write the contract!". "Yes but he thinks you have wormed your way to those who did, it has ruined his plans for you". "What clause is it?". "A marriage clause, it prevents your marriage to the prince of the fire nation permanently".

You were called to the throne room an hour later despite the time and you walked in with your head held high. You saw the two officiates who had been there when you signed the contract and neither of them dared to meet your eye. They stood close to the princess Azula terrified and you were sure they both figured you were doomed and you supposed you were. You’d been summoned so abruptly you knew this wouldn’t be good but you surprisingly weren’t scared. You kept your head up as a few more people appeared in the room and then the doors were sealed shut. The fire lord entered and you managed not to jump as he slammed the door. "Lets not waste time, do you wish to confess?" Ozai barked at you. You stared at him and shook your head "i had no part of this, i signed where you told me to sign". "So you expect me to believe as the only person to gain from this you didn’t do it?". "She didn’t" someone spoke up and you froze. "I added it" Azula said simply. There was silence and then suddenly Ozai reacted. “Leave us” he yelled and you saw Azula flinch despite her brave face. The men filled from the room leaving you, Azula and Ozai. "Azula! You know what this marriage could’ve done, why did you do this?". "Because y/n is more use to us than as Zuko’s wife, she is a princess and we have her loyalty, we don’t need to hand too". Ozai rolled his eyes "but whoever else she marries has claim to the earth empire that could sway her loyalties. A marriage would’ve fixed that". "No it never would’ve ensure her loyalty and actually could’ve resulted in the opposite. The earth kingdom would know her and Zuko didn’t fall in love within a week, they’d see you were selling her off like cattle and we could’ve lost the city. We have her contractual word, we do not need anything else". “If she ever shows questionable loyalty” Ozai yelled in Azula’s face “I won’t just banish you, your fate won’t be that kind...do you understand?”. “Yes father” Azula said and she stared at the ground. Ozai pushed her and stormed from the room. You watched as Azula unclenched her fists and her hands shook in fear. She was terrified of her father and she risked his wrath for what possible reason?

You intended to find out but Azula didn’t seem keen on sticking around. “Azula” you called but she strode from the room following her father. Nobody telling you not to, you rushed after her calling her name. You caught her arm and she pushed you away “leave me alone I saved you what else do you want from me?”.  "An explanation, why did you do it?" you asked angrily "what do you want in return". "In return?" Azula asked confused and you nodded "well you don’t strike me as a person who does anything without expecting something in return. You must want payment". Azula’s angry expression relaxed and she looked at you "you're right i don't act for no reason but i do not expect payment actually". Your jaw dropped and it took you a few seconds to form a sentence "but....why?". Azula smiled and went to walk away. "No” you said grabbing her arm “please don’t...you’re the reason i’m here but you’re also the only one who acknowledges me and not just as someone to sell off...just tell me why you did it”. Azula brushed your hands off her and carried on walking. You sighed in defeat when suddenly she looked back “are you coming or not?”. You smirked and rushed after her.

Azula led you around the palace grounds and you stared like a tourist. You’d not been allowed free reign of the palace and so this was the most you’d seen of it. You were happy to walk in silence but Azula seemed to want to answer your last question. "I don’t agree with arranged marriages" she said suddenly "my father’s first attempt to arrange one for me was when i was 12, he said he would wait a few years of course but he was still planning it all out" she spat "so i made him a deal, if i finished at the academy with the best record anyone had ever seen, beating any man or woman who came before, he would postpone his plans. He agreed smugly and i smashed every single record ever set in this nation" Azula grinned "he never brought up the marriage again". You laughed "that’s amazing...how did you do it?". "I guess i’m just the best the fire nation has ever seen" Azula boasted and you found yourself agreeing "you must be...that or you’re the most determined one to ever exist. Either way that’s impressive". Azula stared at you as you said that making you blush at her smirk. "I know" she replied and you realised you’d reached the corridor of your apartments "it is late you should retire”. You nodded your head unable to meet her eye and Azula smiled “goodnight princess". She bowed never taking her eyes off you until she had to and when she did you felt cold. The princess may be hard to read but she was making things interesting. She was quickly becoming your favourite thing about this damn nation and something told you that wouldn’t be changing any time soon...

-----

[violetfaust]

I'm interested in hearing more about why you think Margot should've been Rumbelle's daughter. Sounds interesting, but what would that mean for her enchanted forest life? I think her being Robin Hood's daughter would've been fine if not for Zelena

Okay, Nonny, since you sent this a few days before Mother's Day, I'm gonna finally take the opportunity to try to sum up and speed-run the Belle's Daughter Margot feelings that have haunted me for THREE YEARS. Buckle in; this will be more than you or anyone asked for.

Disclaimer 1: It's been, well, three years, so my memory of Curious Archer and their story is not perfect; could be off on some details here. And Disclaimer 2: I really loved Tiera Skovbye as Robin/Margot; she did a lot with not much screen time, and she and Rose had fabulous chemistry. So although she was well cast as Robin Sr.'s kid, Tiera would be perfectly believable as a Rumbelle daughter, too--maybe give her some low-lights and call it a day. We keep Tiera as Margot in this rewrite. Okay: onward.

(Since one of the few things that would have to change about Robin if she were Rumbelle’s daughter is her name, I’ll just mostly use her Hyperion Heights name “Margot” throughout this post for simplicity.)

First and foremost, the foundation of everything: Margot is so like Belle! She is so like her. They have the same love of adventure, a similar sense of humor. She took Alice on a date to a bookstore. Most of all, she has Belle’s ability to see past “the mask of the monster” to a person’s heart. There was a great scene where Tilly explained that she didn’t want Margot to see her “bad days” because she thought it would be “too much,” and Margot said words to the effect that she was there for the bad as well as the good.

Obviously, people don't have to grow up to be exactly like their parents (Belle and Rumple sure didn't)...BUT. In fiction, one of the fun parts of next-gen stories is for the audience to see how their favorites' personalities are passed down. It's just more fun to see a Henry who has parts of Regina/Emma/Neal than one who doesn't; it's fun to see Lucy resemble little Henry. And it would be fun to see Margot be like her parents (she is very like Robin Sr; not so much Zee). Seeing a character who has so many of Belle's traits becomes just more...fun...when she learned them FROM Belle.

The family feud Rumple/Hook angle turns Alice and Margot’s relationship up another roman tic notch. A classic trope! It’s about reconciliation and love remaking and erasing those old grudges. Which is even more important when we’re supposed to believe that the evidence of Rumple’s final redemption is his saving Rook.

On a more macro level: the entire claim that OUAT is "a show about hope" COLLAPSES because it ends with the annihilation of the Stiltskin family. Rumple, Belle, and Neal are all dead; Henry doesn’t acknowledge them as his family; and Gideon is a friendless and forgotten orphan in another world. I did my rants about this three years ago, but long story short: the show’s not about hope unless it’s hopeful for EVERYONE. And having at least one of Rumbelle’s children alive and happy at the end (with her True Love and friends and acknowledged as part of the family) would fix that. My objection has never been that Rumple (and even Belle) die, but the way it happened.

And of course, Rumbelle needed to have at least one other child because Kitsowitz managed to deny them even one single shared happy moment surrounding Belle’s pregnancy with Gideon and his birth. Even if the audience didn’t get to see it (and we could have gotten a glimpse in Beauty), we deserved to know it happened.

Finally: Zelena did not belong in S7, period. I know it was fun for her fans! (Although apparently there weren't enough of them to positively affect the ratings, meow.) I do know! But it was bad storytelling. She served no point in the larger season arc, and the serial witch killer plot that was invented to serve her was one of the worst and most stupid things Kitsowitz came up with in seven years, and ate up time that could/should have gone to develop other characters. (Driz and Ana come immediately to mind, instead of having them shunted off to another universe, but also Henry/Cinda/Lucy and of course Rumple since his plot was coming to a close.) Zelena didn’t even get any significant growth herself, or develop her relationships with Regina or Robin. She still didn’t express regret for the horrible things she did to characters we love (Rumple, Neal, and Robin Sr.); the only result of all that screentime was to give an unrepentant rapist a love story with a person--we barely see and have zero investment in. And even that was ultimately negated at the end of the season, because in the finale Zee’s back in Storybrooke sans Boo Bear.

So, all that said: what would have to change about Margot’s, and Curious Archer’s, FTL storyline to give us Margot Gold?

Her name—but actually very little else. (And frankly it would have been more respectful to have Belle name her daughter after Robin Sr., who was actually her friend, than for Zee to name her kid after the man she raped, manipulated, and ultimately got killed—but that ship had sailed.)

Belle and Rumple could have given their daughter any number of fairytale names after people they know, aka fresh take on a Disney character. My favorite possibilities are Aurora (and then Curious Archer could have been Curious Beauty, and done a riff on the Sleeping Beauty story as part of their FTL backstory, with a built-in TLK) and Merlin (very pretty for a girl, I’ve always thought).

But the character herself would have been very much the same: she could be Rumbelle’s jock daughter, trained in archery and swordsmanship by family friends (Merida/Mulan/Charming), but always feeling out of place in her family of scholars/sorcerers/nerds.

I am SO sorry for the length of this--there's even more under this cut!

Robin/Margot felt insecure about trying to live up to her father’s name; Rory/Merlin/Margot could have similar anxieties trying to live down her father’s Dark One rep. There could even be a similar story where she was born with magic (like Robin was) but loses it or chooses to give it up—something that would estrange her further from her family. Or, if she was Merlin, she could keep her magic but be reluctant to use it, and part of Curious Archer’s Hyperion Heights arc would be both Margot and Tilly discovering and accepting their magic. (Sapphic sorceresses for the win.)

Now, one of the cutest things about Alice/Robin’s FTL dynamic was Robin being a girl from the Land Without Magic finding her feet in an enchanted forest, with Alice’s help. But it would only take a little finessing of S7 Rumbelle’s story to get that for Rory as well. (Of course, any decent story would have a LOT of finessing of Rumbelle’s plot so that Belle didn’t die and put Rumple on a suicide mission, but again—assuming the ship has sailed…)

Say that Rory is five to six years younger than Gideon. The Rumbelle family spend a dozen years or so traveling the realms, but then Rumbelle decide that they want Gideon and Rory to be comfortable in the LWoM with their extended Charming family, so they settle back into the Pink Palace so the kids can get a LWoM education. They still take occasional journeys, often Rumbelle going to save some hapless souls, but Rory grows up primarily in SB with very few, vague memories of all the fascinating places they visited when she was a small child. This feeds her hunger for adventure along with some envy of Gideon for having so many more fairytale experiences—another thing that makes her feel like a misfit in her family. So, presto, when she moves to FTL she and Alice have pretty much the same meeting/adventures.

One of the key notes of Rumple and Alice/Tilly's relationship, showing his growth and making it so special, was how he chose to set her free of being the Guardian or whatever, allowing her to be free and get what he never had, the chance to grow old with the woman she loves. And that would be weakened if Rumple knew that by choosing Alice's happiness over his own, he was also choosing his own daughter's happiness (because we know Rumple picks his kids over himself ever time). But--he doesn't have to know WHO Alice's True Love is when he makes that choice. He could just know that there is someone, or simply realize that Alice deserves her freedom for her own sake. (Rumple's daughter also getting happiness would be a side benefit that he didn't learn about till later, and have the added perk of Rumple actually getting a narrative reward for doing something good. Which almost NEVER happened! Bonus.)

Finally: I do understand that Robin's presence on the canvas was important to fans of Robin Sr.--getting to know he's remembered and having someone carry on his legacy. Of course I get it--Rumbelle and their family not having that is my biggest complaint (of so so many).

But we don't need a grown-up Robin Jr. to be Robin's legacy. Let her stay a cute background kid with perennially baby Prince Neal. There's already a character, one we're invested in, to carry on for the Hoods: Roland. And again, it would be satisfying for the audience to learn that a five-year-old orphan wasn't shunted off from what family he had left (Regina and Henry) into another universe and never heard from again. If Kitsowitz didn't waste time with Zelena, they wouldn't have needed the idiotic Jack-is-Hansel-the-serial-killer twist, and we could have have had Roland filling the role of Henry's best friend/little brother (and therefore Lucy's fake HH dad--God, that plot was bad all the way back in season 1; why Kitsowitz why?). We'd see Roland onscreen, part of the family, at the end of the show, perhaps with his own True Love (Drizella, maybe, or better yet Gideon) and happy future.

So, that's it: the combination of Margot Stiltskin-Gold and Roland Hood tightens and heightens the storytelling throughout S7, closes some plot holes, and actually fulfills some of the show's stated themes. Who knew!

Anyone else want three years of OUAT theory vomit? 😋 Shoot me an ask!

(I actually have another one, god help us all, but I might save it till Father's Day...)

[ttylfedora]

The Rookiest Rookie that ever Rookied- Part Two

Oh god I feel so bad for Cole!!

Characters belong to the completely wonderful @lumosinlove

Cw, food

Enjoy!! 💚

“Right, mon fils, you remember the plan?” Pascal had sat Louis and Marc down at the dining room table and had his serious dad face on. The boys knew this face meant business and sat up straighter, as though they were in a proper business meeting.

“Oui, papa.” Louis answered. Marc nodded in agreement, both of them determined not to let their father down. After all, this was the difference between whether or not they could go out for ice cream at the weekend. All of the shots were riding on this!

“Repeat it back to me.” Dumo instructed.

“Which part?” Marc questioned, still getting his little brain around all of the instructions his father had given him.

“All of it, this is serious business. The two of you are embarking on a journey that can only be ruled as the greatest journey known to man. You two have a legacy to fill, mon fils, a legacy!” Dumo exclaimed dramatically, his arms out as though he was introducing a show on the West End.

“Ce n'est pas si dramatique, papa.” Louis rolled his eyes, and his father gasped.

“Say that again and you are grounded.” Pascal locked his eyes on Louis’. The famous Dumais pranks were a serious business and should be treated as such.

“There is a lot riding on this,” Dumo reasoned, “do you want ice cream or not?”

“I guess.” Louis huffed. “Alright, so we only answer to each other’s names.”

“Make sure all the clocks show a different time.” Marc continued “Can you help us get the higher clocks?” he asked his dad. Dumo nodded.

“Make sure the robot spider is under the couch.” Louis chimed in.

“Ask him where babies come from.” Marc giggled. “Where do they come from papa?” he asked curiously.

“Non, non, ask Cole. He’ll tell you.” Dumo wiggled his finger in front of his younger son's face.

“Okay, okay.”

“Parfait, right, he’ll be back in,” he checked his watch,”half an hour from hanging out with Leo. Let’s get this started, shall we mes fils?” Dumo rubbed his hands together and giggled, leading his children into the kitchen to get started on the clocks.

--

“Right, we shouldn’t be gone for long but if anything goes wrong, just call us straight away. We’ll be back by dinner time.” Celeste fussed. Her husband was already out in the car with Adele and Katie, ready to take them both to basketball practice.

“I will, promise.” Cole smiled. It was the first time they trusted him to look after any of their kids so he can understand why they were airing on the side of caution. “We’ll have lots of fun.” He smiled over to the two boys who were currently sat watching something on the television. Celeste thanked him again and left, shutting the door softly behind her.

Babysitting was a piece of cake. He could do this.

“Right boys, what’s the plan for today.” He clapped his hands and rubbed them together, sitting down on the couch that was adjacent to the two brothers. Marc’s eyes lit up.

“Can we make a cake?” he asked, practically jumping up from his spot on the couch.

“We certainly can, what flavour?”

Marc thought for a moment. “Chocolate.” he smiled.

“Sounds good to me, buddy, lead the way.” He reached over and grabbed the remote off of the coffee table in the centre of the room and switched the television off, following them into the kitchen.

“Right, let me see what we have here,” Cole started, going through all of the cupboards to round up the ingredients for the cake.

“Louis, can you grab me the eggs please.” He said over his shoulder as he went to retrieve the milk and butter from the fridge.

“No, no, no, Marc wait-“ Cole was cut off by the eggs Marc was attempting to hold in one hand dropping to the floor and smashing everywhere. He froze with his arms out mid step, and just sighed, laughing slightly. “Oh dear.” Marc looked up at him.

“Sorry Cole.”

“It’s okay buddy, how about you go and change your trousers and socks so that you’re not walking around all day with egg on them and we’ll throw them in the wash. It’s no big deal.” he smiled, grabbing a wet paper towel to start to clean the egg yolk off of the floor. Marc nodded and ran to his room. As he cleaned up, Louis gathered all of the ingredients onto the side, and grabbed more eggs from the basket.

By the time the floor was clean, Marc had come back down in a fresh pair of jeans and socks and popped his dirty ones into the washing machine for his mother to deal with later.

“Perfect, right, Marc, you’re in charge of weighing things, okay?” He looked at Marc but Louis nodded, sitting up on the bar stool in front of the weighing scales.

“Okay.” Louis smiled. Cole widened his eyes slightly but shook it off. Maybe he misspoke?

“Marc, you’re going to help me mix everything up, okay?”

“But I thought I was weighing the ingredients?” Louis asked, confused.

“Yeah, I was talking to your brother?” Cole said, though it came out more of a question. He placed his hand on his hip and scratched his head.

The boys just shrug and carry on anyway, allowing Cole to guide them through the recipe, one his mother swears by back at home. He was hoping it lived up to Celeste’s baking but he doubted his skills were that good. It was the least he could offer her for all the amazing meals she had cooked for him so far. She insisted that it was nothing but when one is so far away from home, having another mother cook a full homemade meal brought immense amounts of comfort to him.

They carried on working around each other, occasionally turning up the radio when a good song comes on, laughing and throwing flour and sugar over each other. Cole was an only child, but if he wasn’t, this is how he would want to spend his weekends with them. He supposed he wasn’t any more; his chosen family adding to the numbers ten-fold and he was beyond grateful for it.

Once all of the ingredients had been mixed, he asked Louis, well who he was sure was Louis, to help him pour the cake mix into the cake moulds. He started doubting himself as Marc, well who he was sure was Marc, came to help him. Once he had placed the moulds into the oven, which he noted had the wrong time displayed, he sent the kids through to the sitting room as he set the timer on his phone. His thumb hovered over the message app icon, wondering whether or not admitting defeat was wise. He quickly changed his mind as he thought up a better idea, opened the app and clocked on Leo’s name instead.

‘Hey man, I have a really embarrassing question but you CANNOT tell Dumo, okay?’

‘Oh god, this is gonna be good.’

‘Leo, PROMISE ME.’

‘Jeez man, okay, i promise!!’

‘Which of Dumo’s boys are older? Louis or Marc? Because i think ive been calling them by the wrong names.’

‘OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHAHA COLE!!!!!!!!! PLEASE TELL ME YOURE JOKING’

‘Leo…’

‘Oh my god you arent joking.’

‘Please?’

‘Marc is the older one. Oh my god that is actually hilarious. Logan’s wetting himself.’

‘I’m never hearing the end of this.’

Cole put his phone away in his pocket, feeling incredibly embarrassed. Had he been calling these kids by the wrong name for the past month? It would seem so. He filled himself a glass of water and walked into the sitting room, sitting down on the couch next to Marc, no, Louis, the younger one.

“How long until the cake’s ready?” the older one asked.

“About twenty minutes now buddy. What are we watching?” he asked, gesturing to the television.

“Minecraft videos,” the youngest answered, smiling. Cole shook his head, clearly realising he had lost his touch with kids. Wasn’t Minecraft big, what, four years ago now? He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started aimlessly scrolling through Instagram, liking and commenting on a few of the posts until the youngest sibling piped up again.

“Cole?” he asked, an inquisitive look on his face.

“Mhm?” Cole replied, taking a sip of his water.

“Where do babies come from?”

Cole promptly spat his water back out looking at the youngest with wide eyes, stuttering slightly in shock. How was he meant to answer that?!

“I- well- have you not asked your dad this?” he stuttered, this was not what he expected to be answering today, to a nine year old nonetheless.

“Non, I just thought of it” the younger one shook his head.

“Oh, well, I mean, when two adults want to have a baby, they do a special hug, I guess?” Cole replied cautiously.

“So maman, and papa did a special hug for me, Louis, Katie and Adele?”

Cole just stared at him, mouth trying and failing to come up with a response to that. The last thing he even wanted to think about was Dumo’s sex life, no matter how many times the Lions’ sex lives were brought up in the locker room.

Thankfully, the timer for the cake went off, giving him the perfect excuse to exit the conversation. He set the cake on the side to cool, making a start on the icing. The boys decided to stay in the sitting room, engrossed in the video they were watching. He glanced up at the clock on the wall. Surely it wasn’t still early afternoon? He checked the time on the oven and it matched, as did the one on the radio, and the fridge, and everything else in the kitchen apart from his phone.

“Boys, what time is it?” he shouted through to them.

“The tv says it’s 3pm!” Marc, Louis, the older one shouted back. He ran his hands over his face and checked his phone, noting that the time read ‘17:30’. He just rested his head in his hands with his elbows against the counter; he evidently did not get enough sleep last night. He quickly decorated the cake to return his thought process to something concrete and set it aside, joining the boys in front of the television quickly after.

He couldn’t have been sat down for more than five minutes when the biggest fuck off spider he had ever seen crawled out from under the couch, right next to his foot. Like any normal, self-respecting 19 year old man, he screamed and jumped up onto the couch.

Both boys were in hysterics.

“Cole, we got you so good!” The younger of the two was currently beside himself on the other couch, tears streaming from his eyes as he held up a little remote; evidently the remote for the spider.

“You two are taking after your father it seems.” Cole laughed nervously. He was well aware of the notorious Pascal Dumais prank streak and it seemed. They pressed play on the tv until Celeste, Dumo, Adele and Katie came home. He was grateful only in the sense that he was completely and utterly exhausted from today.

“Aaahhhh, you boys made a cake!” Celeste mused, walking into the kitchen to have a look at it, “it will be perfect for after dinner.”

“Did you have a good day, mes garçons?” he asked. Both boys nodded, understanding that their father was asking if they did everything he asked of them.

“It seems your boys take after you, Dumo. Got me pretty good with a spider under the couch there.” Cole laughed from his position on the couch.

Dumo let out one of the biggest dad laughs known to man. “Incroyable! I’m proud of you both!” Both of his sons looked at him and began laughing with him, but followed their mother and sisters into the kitchen.

“I hope they weren’t too much trouble?” Dumo asked, hanging his coat up and turning to Cole.

“No, not at all. It was a fun day, a long day but a fun one. Really set me through my paces there. For a hot second i thought it was one of your tasks.” he laughed as he stood up.

Dumo froze.

“My children are a task to you?” he looked Cole straight in the eyes and cocked an eyebrow. Cole stared at him wide eyed and started stuttering, attempting to form and answer. Pascal laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. “I’m only joking, kid. You should have seen your face!”

“Haha, yeah, I’m just going to run to the toilet real quick and I’ll join you for dinner. Won’t be long!” He left, looking quite flustered as PAscal made his way into the kitchen. His wife was leant against the counter with her arms crossed and a slightly amused expression on her face.

“You are a cruel man, mon roi. A cruel cruel man.” she shook her head and turned back around as she continued to prepare dinner.

He stalked over and placed a kiss on her head.

“It’s called character building, ma reine.” he smiled. “And I am nowhere near done just yet.”

[conradscrime]

Ray and Faye Copeland: Oldest Couple on Death Row

May 04, 2021

Ray Copeland was born on December 30, 1914 in Oklahoma. Ray’s family growing up moved around a lot, until his parents Jess and Laney settled in the town of Ozark Hills, Arkansas. Ray eventually had a younger brother and sister. However, when the Great Depression hit Ray had to help support his family during this tough time where most families were struggling to make ends meet. 

Ray began a life of petty crime as a young man. At the age of 20 he committed his first crime, stealing two hogs from his family farm and selling them in another town. His father found out but no charges were filed. He was often stealing livestock and forging checks and was eventually caught for this in 1936 and served a year in prison. 

In 1940 Ray went to a routine checkup at a physician’s office met a 19 year old woman named Faye Wilson. Faye Della Wilson was born on August 4, 1921 in Arkansas. Faye’s parents Rufus and Gladys Wilson were very hard working people from Harrison, Arkansas and Faye was one of 7 children, growing up in a dirt floor cabin. The two began dating and 6 months later got married and had five children together. Their first child was a boy named Everett, born a year after they got married. Then two years later they had another son named Billy Ray. 

In 1944 Ray and Faye moved to Fresno County, California and had another child, a girl named Betty Lou the following year. After that they had a son named Alvia and in 1949 they had their final child, William Wayne. That same year Ray had been accused of stealing horses from a local farmer. No charges were filed but Ray had to leave the area because his reputation was damaged, so the Copeland’s moved back to Arkansas.

It didn’t take long for Ray to get arrested again, being found guilty of grand larceny and sentenced to another year in jail. Once released Ray moved his family to Rocky Comfort, Missouri where he was arrested for cattle theft again. He was sentenced to complete labour at a judge’s farm.

In 1953 Ray moved his family from town to town quite frequently, and was arrested at least 5 times for writing forged checks. In 1966 (some sources say 1967) the couple bought a 40 acre farm in Mooresville, Missouri. A lot of the Copeland neighbours did not like Ray, thinking he was a bitter elderly man who physically abused his family, though Faye and the children denied this.

 Ray was unable to buy and sell cattle due to his criminal record and being known as a fraud so he would pick up drifters and hitchhikers and employ them to work as farmhands on his and Faye’s property. Ray would take his employees to the market, they would use his bad checks to buy cattle and then Ray would sell the cattle quickly. The farmhands would never been seen again after the transaction. This plan worked for a period of time before one of the scam victims, Gerald Perkins exposed the scheme. Ray was caught once again and sent to jail for two years for check forgery.

When Ray was released he continued on with this plan, but tweaked it a little bit, making sure his farmhands couldn’t be as easily connected to him. Again, this worked for a little while until a previous employee named Jack McCormick called the Crime Stoppers hotline on August 20, 1989. 

Jack told them that Ray had tried to kill him and that he also had seen human bones on their farm while he was working for the Copelands. The police weren’t sure if they could believe Jack but because Ray had a lengthy criminal history they investigated further into this claim. 

In October 1989 they searched the Copeland farm with a search warrant but did not find any incriminating evidence at first. After they searched further, however, they did come across the bodies of three young men found in a nearby barn. As they continued searching they found many more bodies, all had been killed with a .22 caliber Marlin rifle found in the Copeland home. They also found a quilt made out of clothes worn by the victims.

Ray had been caught killing his employees to gain money and in November 1990, Faye also went to trial with the jury convicting her of four counts of murder and one count of manslaughter. She was given four death sentences and life without parole for the manslaughter. They offered Faye a plea deal, telling her that if she showed them where more bodies were buried they would only charge her with conspiracy to commit murder, a lesser charge. Faye covered for her husband. 

On March 7 1991, Ray Copeland went on trial and was convicted of 5 counts of murder and sentenced to death. When Ray heard that his wife Faye had also been sentenced to death he said, “Well, those things happen to some, you know.” He showed no emotion. 

Ray and Faye Copeland were the oldest people to ever receive the death penalty, with Ray being 75 and Faye being 69 at the time of their sentencing. Both were sentenced to die by lethal injection.

Ray died of natural causes on October 19, 1993 at the age of 78. Faye’s attorneys appealed her conviction, saying that the jury had not been allowed to hear of evidence that Ray had abused her. On August 6, 1999 a judge overturned the death sentence, commuting her sentence to 5 consecutive life sentences without parole. 

On August 10, 2002, Faye had a stroke which left her partially paralyzed and unable to speak. In September 2002, Governor Bob Holden gave permission for Faye to have a medical parole, that is she would not die in prison but rather be sent to a nursing home in Chillicothe, Missouri. Faye Copeland died of natural causes on December 23, 2003 at the age of 82.

All of the Copeland’s victims had been shot execution style and all of them had either been buried on the property or on another property where Ray used a barn. One victim, Dennis Murphy, was dumped in a well. Faye had kept track of all the victims, writing their names on a list and if they had murdered the man there would be an X written beside his name. 

Here is a list of the known victims of the Copeland’s:

Paul Jason Cowart, aged 21 - killed on October 17, 1986

John Freeman, aged 27 - killed on November 19, 1986

Jimmie Dale Harvey, aged 27 - killed on October 25, 1988

Wayne Warner, unknown age - killed on December 8, 1988

Dennis Murphy, aged 27 - killed on May 1, 1989

Jack McCormick, aged 57 - attempted murder on August 20, 1989

The Copeland’s have been suspected in murdering 7 additional drifters.

[mostlycompetentwriter]

Angel

F/M Pairing: Y/N x Johnny Seo (NCT)

Warnings: Language, some mentions of smut

Genre: Married AU; Family AU

Word Count: 2.1K

Summary: Y/N has a good life. She’s married to her high school sweetheart and she has two amazing kids. However, even she has days where this whole quarantine thing really starts to take its toll. 

A/N: Johnny said he’d be married with kids by now, so I made it happen fictitiously.

Angel

It was morning again, and I reluctantly opened my eyes to the familiar chime of my alarm. I released a groan, reaching over to silence my cellphone while ignoring the familiar sounds of footsteps in the hallways.

“Mommy!” My daughter’s screeching voice managed to somehow defy the barrier of my bedroom door, finding me through the drowsy haze that desperately wanted more sleep.

“Five more minutes,” I slurred, but my wish was never granted. Instead, I had my hopes dashed when my daughter and son abruptly slammed the bedroom door against its hinges, screaming at the top of their lungs as they threw themselves on top of me. The bedframe creaked from the additional weight, and my eyes shot open when my son crawled over my stomach, pressing down uncomfortably against my poor bladder. “Okay!” I grimaced, attempting to sit up straight. “I think we’ve had enough time to torture Mommy.”

My daughter was a mess of giggles, looking up at me with brown eyes that distinctly reminded me of Johnny. “Guess what?” she whispered as if protecting a secret of immense value.

“What?” I whispered in return.

“I made you a picture!” she squealed, reaching for my hand and using gravity to her advantage when she rolled off the mattress and landed in the floor. I winced at the pressure on my shoulder, complying with her demands by throwing my legs over the side of the bed.

“I’m coming.” I groaned, watching as she and her younger brother immediately took off in the direction of the living room.

It had become a tedious cycle at this point, waking up early in the morning to cook breakfast, only to spend most of the day figuring out creative ways to keep my children entertained. I sighed in exasperation, secretly cursing Johnny because he still had to work everyday at the office in spite of this enormously burdensome pandemic that forced the schools to close. Since I was an Elementary school teacher, I was also forced to stay at home everyday, which initially seemed advantageous because I wouldn’t need to inquire about a babysitter for our kids. However, the longer I spent locked inside the house all day, the more I was slowly starting to lose my mind and all sense of rationality.

My children were both young and energetic, demanding constant attention. 

They were also notorious mischief makers.

Thus, I paused at the entrance to the living room, ignoring my son and daughter as they clapped along with the characters on their TV show. Because there was nothing to celebrate in regards to the mess that was waiting for me in the form of the dreaded Crayola Massacre. Lines of blue, black, and yellow decorating my walls in long stripes. “Do you like it, Mommy?” my daughter asked, and I closed my eyes in response, exhaling around a sigh instead of the scream that fought for release.

Despite scrubbing at the walls for over three hours, there was still evidence of my daughter’s artwork in faded colors that had successfully smeared themselves together in decidedly very unattractive ways. However, the arrival of my husband signaled a reprieve from my work, and I was lucky enough to intercept Johnny’s entrance without our children noticing. He smiled at me like a knight in shining armor, shrugging off his jacket and grunting when I ran into his arms.

“Y/N, what are you-” I cut him off with a kiss, pressing my lips fiercely against his in the hopes of using Johnny to drown out the rest of this disastrous day. I was a needy mess for my husband, and I wordlessly led him into our bedroom while keeping our mouths seared together.

“Holy shit, I missed you,” I whined, and Johnny kissed me feverishly while I wrapped my arms around his neck in desperation, grinding myself against his thigh in the hopes of chasing an orgasm that I had been denied for weeks while remaining at home.

“Daddy!”

“No,” I whimpered pathetically when I felt Johnny start to pull away, clutching tightly to his shirt sleeves while he chuckled and gently reached behind him for the door.

“We’ll talk later,” he said with a wink, turning around to greet his son who jumped gleefully into his father’s arms.

Meanwhile, I was left feeling increasingly desperate, studying my husband’s ass with a groan. Why did he have to look so ridiculously good in the suits that he was required to wear to the office? It was a tragedy for my condition because I wanted nothing more than to drag Johnny onto our bed while I spread my legs wide open for him.

But the moment was tragically gone. My children had my husband’s attention, so I trudged despondently into the kitchen to prepare another half-assed attempt at a meal.

After dinner, I decided to clean up in the kitchen, hearing my husband attempt to handle our demanding children in the living room. They were playing some kind of made-up game that Johnny had likely encouraged, claiming that it was good for them to use their imaginations. Whatever it was, I could tell that it had taken quite the number on my husband when he entered the kitchen while panting, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Are you having fun?” I asked with a smirk.

Johnny glared playfully in my direction. “What are you talking about? I love it when they wrestle me to the floor.”

“They can be a handful,” I said with a shaky sigh, closing my eyes for a moment as I finished the dishes.

“Hey, is something wrong?” Johnny asked, leaning against my side as he wrapped one arm around my waist.

I decided not to hold anything back since the possibility of losing my last hold on rational sanity was dying each day. “I can’t fucking take it anymore,” I said, groaning as I pressed myself even closer to his chest. “I love them so much, but I need time to myself, and I can’t even cook lunch without someone glued to my legs!”

Johnny chuckled, but he held me close as he planted a kiss on top of my head. “Y/N, you shouldn’t let yourself get this bad.”

“I’m their mother,” I said. “I should be able to handle anything.”

“Everyone needs some time away,” Johnny said, soothing his hand across my back in a much-needed gesture of comfort. “Hey, why don’t we go out tomorrow?”

I sniffled, looking up at him through blurry eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, we can call Mark or something to come watch the kids while we go out for a drive. Grab takeout and park the car on the river.”

I snorted around a laugh. “Mark is basically a kid himself.”

“He can handle them for a few hours,” Johnny said, pulling away to press a gentle kiss to my lips. “What do you say?”

I managed a nod before allowing Johnny to engulf me in his strong embrace, blocking out the rest of the world for several long, glorious minutes.

Mark Lee was, in a sense, mostly reliable when it came to babysitting. The main problem was that he still possessed a childlike mentality himself, and I would worry constantly about my kids while they were left to his care. But Mark was the only one available at this hour, and he promised me a thousand times that he would actually obey the list I gave him. Including a detailed outline of all the foods that my kids couldn’t have after 8:00 PM.

“You two have fun,” Mark said with a knowing wink, and I rolled my eyes at him.

“We’ll be back before 10:00,” I said, grabbing Johnny’s hand as the two of us left Mark standing on the front porch, walking to Johnny’s car in relative silence.

However, as soon as I was situated in the front seat, I turned to look at Johnny as he messed with the ignition. “Well?” I asked him. “What do you want to do?”

Johnny laughed, easing the car onto the road as he glanced at me from the corner of his eye. “Remember what we used to do in college?”

“You mean, drive somewhere isolated with our cheap takeout?”

Johnny nodded. “What do you think?”

“I think that’s the best idea you’ve had in a long time,” I said, instantly onboard with such a seemingly innocuous suggestion, but it was the most thrilling plan I had been apart of in months.  

It made me miss our college days, when our only responsibilities included turning in essays ten minutes before their due date while trying to balance the tricky combination of a social life and attaining a useful education. Johnny and I met during his Senior year of college at a frat party, and it seemed like our future together was solidified when he took me out on his drunken version of a first date in the parking lot behind Burger King. Regardless of how ridiculous it seemed in the present, I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything else in the entire world.

“I feel you thinking hard, babe,” Johnny remarked as we pulled into the parking lot of our favorite diner. 

“It’s nothing,” I reassured him, watching as Johnny dialed the diner’s phone number to place a takeout order, and we talked for twenty minutes about how much of an asshole Johnny’s boss acted during quarantine.

It was raining when our order was finally ready, and I laughed when Johnny ran out of the car, holding one of our backseat towels over his head. It was a hilarious sight, and my smile was almost painfully wide when he returned with our bag, dripping from head to toe. “I hope the food isn’t ruined,” Johnny said, giving no further thought to his disheveled state.

Nevertheless, Johnny drove us to the abandoned parking lot at the beach downtown, overlooking the ocean at night as it reflected the full moon in all its glory. Meanwhile, I bit down into my hamburger, relishing the delicious taste, and moving my head in time to the music playing over the radio. “I heard someone tried to repaint the wall yesterday,” Johnny remarked.

“Oh, right,” I scoffed. “I was cleaning for hours.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” Johnny said, handing me one of his french fries over the center console as an act of appeasement. “I feel bad. I should’ve known that the kids would drive you crazy.”

“I love them,” I pouted. “But they have too much energy.”

“Why don’t we all take a drive this weekend?” Johnny suggested. “I know we can’t do much, but the fresh air might be nice.”

I nodded eagerly while tossing the rest of my trash into our takeout bag. “The kids will love it.”

Johnny nodded, reaching for my hand which he held with a gentle touch. “You deserve something better than takeout in the car.”

I shook my head, leaning in closer to brush a kiss across his lips. “This is nice, Johnny. I can’t be that picky when the entire country is going to shit.”

“Really?” Johnny asked, reaching out to hold my head in place as he deepened the kiss. “Isn’t there something else that you want?”

My eyes widened at his implications, especially considering the frantic way he was kissing me as his hands smoothed across my thighs. “Are you serious?”

“What? You don’t think I can still do this?” Johnny asked breathlessly, kissing me with growing desperation.

“Are you seriously suggesting that we fuck in your car?”

“Why not?” he asked, pulling back with swollen lips and lust-filled eyes.

“Well, if you say it like that...” I trailed off, laughing when Johnny reached for me across the console, dragging me onto his lap with a series of clumsy movements.

“This isn’t romantic lovemaking,” Johnny said, ripping down the sleeves of my dress. “But I think we both need a quick fuck.”

I gasped at his crude language. “You haven’t talked to me like that in months!”

Johnny chuckled. “There’s been a few distractions.”

“But I really missed this,” I said, licking into his mouth while my hands grabbed fistfuls of his dark brown hair.

“I promise that I’ll make more time for us,” Johnny said, thumbing across the inviting swell of my breasts. “I love you so much.”

“Mhmm,” I hummed in agreement, reaching down for the zipper on his pants. “Will you show me how much you love me?”

Johnny smirked against my lips, reaching down to recline the seat further back, and his hands gathered the hem of my dress as he proceeded to make-up for weeks of neglected opportunities...

[another-dr-another]

insert those coins babey! no point in holding onto them if they aren't used !

You Now Own:

001 - Mineral Water (x2)

Drawn from the ocean depths and rigorously purified. Ideal for a modern on-the-go public unsatisfied with tap water.

002 - Sea Salt

A basic seasoning produced from the evaporation of seawater. It also sees use as a preservative.

003 - Ration

A set of canned and vacuum-sealed foodstuffs. The taste isn't bad, and a certain snake that wants to play hide-and-go-seek is just crazy abou- wait, what?

005 - Ramune

A sweet, lemon-flavored carbonated drink. A marble plugs the opening of the uniquely designed bottle. The bottle can also be reused if you bring it to the ramune store.

010 - Ship In a Bottle

A intricate creation, a model ship within a bottle. Made with time, love and care.

012 - Envy-Enducing Envy CD

A CD of songs by Japanese band Envy. Full of unreleased tracks/first recordings.

014 - Children's Book

A children's book about family and forgiveness! The plot is about a sister who can't get along with her younger brother, but they find common ground and bond over causing trouble for their parents.

016 - Sour Soda (x2)

No flavor is listed on the bottle other than sour, which may just be a flavor in and of itself. It's a near black shade of blue... I think.

017 - Gentleman's Guide

A book that's meant to help shape you into the perfect gentleman. However, it's rather demeaning towards the reader, which doesn't feel very gentleman-ly.

018 - Masculine Cologne

Very masculine, can only be used by masculine people. No weaklings allowed, or people with the common sense to smell it before purchasing, and realize it smells really bad.

019 - Fancy Sword

True to it’s name, it looks very fancy, and very intimidating. However, it's only for show, and rather blunt- perhaps inexpensive?

022 - ??? Alcohol

It's something alcoholic. This is a school, it should be confiscated, and you won't be receiving any more information.

024 - Hair Cutting Scissors

Snip snip snip, meant for hair-cutting at home, as these aren’t professional grade. Still though, try and make it even, okay?

025 - Purple Hair Dye

Pretty purple hair dye guaranteed to not come out of hair for weeks! More of a pinkish-purple than the box advertised, but still pretty.

028 - Constellation Skirt

With patterns matching actual real constellations. Despite matching the night sky, it almost seems sun-rise themed, with its pink background and pale gold stars.

030 - Bottled Tea

When heated up, it's meant to help soothe upset stomachs, and muscle aches. Popular among student athletes.

031 - Alarm Clock

It's a digital alarm clock. One of the few normal and functional things here, and it's the thing that screams at you to wake up every morning.

032 - Broken Stopwatch (x2)

It won't stop running, no pausing or restarting. You can however make it record different laps.

034 - Baseball Cap

Perfect for keeping the sun out of your face! This one is all black though, so it'll retain a lot of heat.

038 - Card Game (x3)

One easy to play, and popular among kids. The front side of the package shows a family of four playing.

039 - Reminder Booklet

A small pamphlet that gives reminders for daily things, such as eating, drinking, taking meds, etc. Also has room for you to add in unique personalized reminders.

041 - Tiovita

A Japanese energy drink sold at most convenience stores. Pretty inexpensive, and with a nice fruity flavor- but hey, only one per day!

044 - Lie Detector (x2)

Fun for the whole family! Though not incredibly accurate... wait, how do you know that?

045 - Evidence Encylopedia

A book focusing on evidence found in crime scenes. From most overlooked to most common, this book talks about it all.

049 - Track Award

A award from a middle school track and field award. The recipient of the trophy seems to have come in second in two events, and first in one.

050 - Plane Tickets (x2)

Anywhere, anytime, round trip tickets. Probably given as some sort of thank you for volunteering to get off of a accidentally over-booked flight.

051 - Therapy Advertisement (x2)

Some therapist endorsing themselves. Upon looking at the services they offer, I don't feel very inspired to go there.

056 - Soulmate Sweatshirt

A sweatshirt that supposedly brings the most comfort not when you wear it, but when holding someone wearing it. Currently smells strongly of... lavender?

057 - Scrap Metal x3

Seems to be broken bits and pieces of some sort of engine. Could be repurposed, or simply a cool trinket.

059 - Old Journal

It seems to be from the late 80s, and kept being written in up to the early 90s. There's a entry on the last page, synopsizing the birth of the owners son, and how proud the owner is of his now five year old.

060 - Paper Boat

A piece of paper that's been folded into a boat. Apparently you can fold and tear it as you tell a story to provide a visual aid for the story, but no one here knows how.

061 - Calendar

It's got pictures of internationally famous towns on it! This particular one has been written on with a note on almost every day.

064 - Face-paint Kit.

A professional face-painting kit. However, it’s missing it’s red, yellow, blue and white paint- those colors have been all used up.

065 - Life Quote Sign (x3)

A sign with some stereotypical life quote written on it in flowery lettering. Most likely to be seen hanging in a kitchen.

066 - Throwing Rings (x2)

Meant for fair games. If you have good enough aim, maybe you'll win a prize!

067 - Pleasant Savior

Seemingly a CD filled with various performances by the same person. I haven't played the CD, so I don't know what kind of performances he does though, and the name is off-putting.

069 - “Fresh” Bouquet (x3)

Somehow still smells sweet with flowers that look flawless. It's comprised of roses that have been dyed rainbow, all of them.

070 - Hair Ribbons (x3)

They come in a variety of colors, but the Monomono Machine only dispenses yellow. Guaranteed to make the wearer feel a certain sense of self-satisfaction.

071 - Girls Profile

A student profile from a all-girls academy. The paper is water-stained and some of the ink has run, so it's hard to make out what's on the paper.

073 - Baby Doll

It seems to be from around the 90s and... not quite well-loved, but well-played-with. Doesn't come with the original clothes... or hair.

075 - Dream Catcher

Made by a past SHSL. It's actually been pretty effective, and is part of the reason they got scouted.

080 - Retro Game

It's handheld, old, and extremely broken. The screen has been shattered so it displays wrong, all cracked and distorted.

081 - Blackout Curtains (x2)

Completely block out any and all light. Strong enough to plunge a room into darkness.

084 - Noise-cancelling Headphones

They completely block out all sound! Also come with the ability to adjust the size of the band, and will stay on your ears even if you pull the band down to your neck.

086 - Wall Decals

Stickers you can put on your wall. They do a decent job of covering up holes in said walls.

087 - Antique Stuffed Animal (x2)

It seems to be bunny themed, and dressed in clothes you'd see on babies in the 1930s. It's in pretty good shape, other than a few tears where the lace trim at the end has had it’s stitches removed.

088 - Embroidery Kit

Or rather, a needle and thread to be used for embroidery. There's only one needle, and one spool of thread, but hey, it’s something.

090 - Scented Markers (x2)

A full rainbow set, all with their own unique smell! Be careful though - it's hard to get these out of clothes.

092 - Fake Christmas Tree (x2)

Too plastic to be a real tree. It's also incredibly small, but real trees can be small too, so that doesn’t really mess with the realism.

093 - Hair Gel

Top of the line hair gel, and completely unopened! Helps you style your hair and keep it in place, but doesn’t give it the nicest texture.

095 - Instant Noodles

Just add water to get something hot, salty, and/or spicy! A nice meal if you're looking for something that's quick and easy, you can dress it up some too.

097 - Drink Mix

A powder used for ??? warm drink, made with milk, tastes like... something? You try it and tell me, but it smells good at the least.

099 - The DSM-I

Self-explanatory, it's the original version of the DSM, from 1952. Index cards have been slipped in-between most of the pages, talking about what happened with the information listed there.

100 - Collection Of Old Ads

Dating back to the 1920s. A magazine full of ads from a different time, it’s somewhat of a miracle the paper held up while the ideas in it didn’t.

101 - Wooden Ruler

It's a wooden ruler. Used for measuring things, nothing else- why do you ask?

102 - Building Blocks (x3)

Stacking and stacking, and sending it all crumbling down. And then you rinse and repeat.

104 - Cutesy Hair Clips

Snap clips in pastel colors and covered in designs. Oddly enough, there isn't any non-pastels, unless you count the few white clips.

106 - Newspaper Collage

Seems to be a collection of snippets from newspaper articles. There must be hundreds in here... it's a big collage.

107 - Cropped Sweatshirt

Cropped specifically due to a parent saying not to. The sweatshirt seems to be related to some organization, with the big fancy emblem on it.

109 - Pins And Patches

A mix-and-match bag full of enamel pins, buttons, and iron-on patches. Good luck finding something to do with them all.

110 - Origami Paper (x2)

Simple origami paper, in a variety of colors and patterns! Comes easy to tear out of a book, which includes instructions on basic origami types.

112 - Colorful Band-Aids.

They come in many colors, designs, even different sizes. Some seem to be made to cover up paper cuts, others meant to help skinned knees and scraped elbows.

Thank you for visiting the Monomono Machine!

~*~

Maeda, narrating - And I thought the coins were kinda heavy...

Maeda - What now?

[Free Time Event - Uehara]

{Head to Your Room}

[swissmissficrecs]

Favorite fics of 2012

2012 was when things really started happening in earnest in the fandom. There was a veritable explosion of fic, and many of the absolute classics were posted. I have something like 15 pages of bookmarks from that year, and as such, it was incredibly hard to narrow things down to a manageable number for a rec list. Here are the ones that I felt are the must-reads, that have stuck with me the longest and strongest.

A Cure For Boredom by emmagrant01 (81K, E, Johnlock, John/OCs) They'd never talked about sex in the year they'd known each other. Well, that wasn't quite correct: Sherlock had never said a word about sex; John had bemoaned his personal dearth of it on many occasions.

A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (52K, M, Johnlock) Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.

Across the Sky by Mazarin221b (23K, E, Johnlock) Top Gun AU. After an accident that nearly cost the life of his previous RIO, Lieutenant John Watson (Call sign Doc) has grown reckless and arrogant, but an even better pilot than he was before. A heroic maneuver and complete chance sends him and his new RIO (call sign Copper) to Fallon, Nevada, home of Top Gun.  Problem is, the ghosts of John's past could cost them more than just the Top Gun trophy—it could also cost John a chance at happiness.

An Avalanche Of Detour Signs by gyzym (56K, M, Mollstrade) In which Molly Hooper gets a job, gets a degree, breaks a heart, has her heart broken, falls in love, keeps a secret, saves a life, runs a morgue, falls apart, pulls it together, and finds exactly what she didn't know she was looking for--not necessarily in that order.

Applications and Practices of Basic Arithmetic by 1electricpirate (128K, M, Johnlock) After Reichenbach and in order to 1) Keep Sherlock alive, 2) Keep John alive and 3) Get Sherlock home to England as soon as possible, Mycroft devises a plan that will not only incentivise John's continued sanity and survival but force Sherlock to come running. It is a perfect plan, though perhaps less than ethically sound. He has no doubts that using frozen samples of your younger brother's sperm to create children for his husband to care for falls deeply within the realm of socially unacceptable behaviour, but it is efficient, and that is what matters most.

Ava Watson verse by keeliethompson1 (347K, M, Johnlock) Five year old Ava Watson's life is changed forever when her Daddy's old friend comes calling.

Be Here Now Universe by Todesfuge (181K, M, Johnlock) John Watson was already fighting demons when he and Sherlock met. With Sherlock's suicide, it all comes flooding back, forcing Sherlock to intervene before he's solved the persistent riddles of Jim Moriarty and his game. Together they find that something darker lurks behind Moriarty, forcing Sherlock, John, and Irene Adler into an even deadlier game with a much more dangerous foe.  Begins six months after the events of The Reichenbach Fall.

Burn Down & Reignite by augustbird (20K, E, Johnlock) When love isn't enough.

Castle and Sand by grey853 (158K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock and John both have difficult pasts that affect their evolving relationship. When John prevents a mugging, it sets off a dangerous chain of events that not only impacts him, but his whole family. In the end there's a wedding and a honeymoon, but will there really be a happy ending?

Cinnamon series by lbmisscharlie (150K, E, Johnlock) When Sherlock invites John to live with him, he fails to mention that he's a single father to a four-year-old girl.

Collared by VelvetMace (83K, E, Johnlock, John/Sarah) In a world where the British Empire is still strong and slavery is her economic backbone, John has become a terrorist for the abolitionist movement. He is caught by Mycroft, enslaved, and given to Sherlock for training. The goal: To test a new kind of slave collar with the power to break even the strongest willed fighter. One that will make even John learn to love being a slave.

Common Grounds by couchbarnacle (66K, M, Johnlock) John Watson is working at Holmes Manor for the summer and is caught up in the whirlwind that is Sherlock Holmes. Teen AU.

Electric Pink Hand Grenade by BeautifulFiction (67K, E, Johnlock) "If Sherlock's brain is a hard drive, then these attacks are an electro-magnetic pulse." Sherlock Holmes does not do anything by half, not even a migraine. It falls to John to witness one of the greatest minds he has ever known tear itself apart, and he must do his best to help Sherlock pick up the pieces.

End of the Story by kres (53K, E, Johnlock) Post-Reichenbach. The return, the fallout, the pieces you pick up.

Equilibrium by augustbird (12K, M, Johnlock) At Baskerville, John is infected by a virus that turns him into a genius. But when the infection progresses into neurodegeneration, it's a race against time to save himself. Flowers for Algernon fusion.

Given In Evidence by verityburns (97K, M, Johnlock) Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

Hearts At Home series by yalublyutebya (74K, M, Johnlock, Viclock) A series of stories chronicling the intertwined lives of Father John Watson and Sherlock Holmes.

Just a Kiss by emmagrant01 (19K, E, Johnlock) Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

Limping Forward series by bendingsignpost (58K, E, Johnlock) As the newest instructor at St. Bart's, John has been explicitly warned to never do Sherlock Holmes any favours. Too bad the sex is so good.

More Things Than Are Dreamt Of series by 1electricpirate (37K, E, Johnlock) In which John is (reluctantly) a wizard, Mycroft is (apparently) omniscient, and Sherlock is (surprisingly) oblivious.

Murderous Imprint by MojoFlower (52K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock should be focusing on the series of brutal vivisections Lestrade has brought to him. Instead he's distracted by a most amazing and unexpected experimental opportunity from the basement apartment of 221C. Will he figure out the one in time to stop the other? And does he need help in order to do it?

Renegades by augustbird (39K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock Holmes takes down Moriarty’s syndicate.  He also takes John Watson with him.

School For Scandal (orphaned) (222K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock lusts from afar. John tries to fool himself. (Boarding school AU)

Spectrum series by thisprettywren (95K, E, Johnlock) In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

Stranger at the Gate by bendingsignpost (85K, E, Johnlock) As far as initiation rites go, kidnapping a human doctor from a defended town ought to seem extreme. When James Moriarty offers him the challenge, Sherlock never considers saying no. (Fantasy vampire AU)

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (95K, E, Johnlock) Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.

Our Brave Boys by unknownsister (29K, E, Johnlock) John worked himself to the bone to get into military school. He meets Sherlock Holmes, who doesn't want to be there at all. Sherlock simultaneously insults him and turns his curiosity up to eleven, in mind and body. As if John doesn't have enough to deal with.

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (32K, M, Johnlock) The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.”  The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

Tennis series by Jupiter_Ash (216K, E, Johnlock) John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything?

The Bone Fiddle by htebazytook, Vulgarweed (61K, E, Johnlock) Appalachian AU! In November 1973, Vietnam vet John Watson returns to his family's old home in Arthel County, West Virginia, deep in coal country. His low expectations include recuperation and boredom. Instead he finds a ruined landscape, a series of grisly murders, and one of the world's weirdest neighbors.

The Brave and The Cunning series by thequeergiraffe (95K, E, Johnlock, Adlock, Sarah/John, Sheriarty) This series will have one fic per Sherlock episode, with series one being set in John's 6th year (and Sherlock's 5th) and series two being set in John's 7th and final year at Hogwarts. Fics will have similar (but nowhere near identical) plots to the actual BBC Sherlock episodes, with most locations being replaced with HP-universe settings. This series is set well after the Second Wizarding War and involves next to none of the HP characters, instead using Sherlock characters and the occasional minor OC.

The Fabric of Life (orphaned) (156K, E, Johnlock) The fabric of life rearranges itself around the re-emergence of Sherlock.

The Good Morrow series by greywash (216K, E, Johnlock) My post-S2 series where everyone has a lot of feels about everything and plausibility is stretched unto breaking. Also: fucking.

The Great Sex Olympics of 221B by XistentialAngst (58K, E, Johnlock; John/OCs, Sherlock/OCs) John Watson thinks Sherlock Holmes should admit that he, Watson, is more of an expert on sex than Sherlock is.  But Sherlock refuses to concede the point.  He comes up with an experiment plan that will resolve the issue.  The results will determine who wins the prize.  But sometimes even the best thought-out scientific study has unexpected consequences.

The Green Blade by verityburns (72K, T, Gen) As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

The Iceman Cometh by Polyphony (60K, M, Johnlock, Viclock) An intriguing puzzle tempts Sherlock to accept Victor Trevor's invitation to the French Riviera, but all is not what it seems. Frustrated by the case and increasingly concerned about an absent John, Sherlock uncovers far more than he was meant to and is forced to become a fugitive, pursued by those on both sides of the law, as he fights for his freedom and the lives of all those around him.

The Making Of by emmagrant01 (58K, E, Johnlockstrade) In the aftermath of Sherlock's death, John Watson and Greg Lestrade take comfort in each other.  But of course, Sherlock isn't really dead, so this is all about to get complicated.

The Paradox Series by wordstrings (98K, E, Johnlock) In which what's in Sherlock's head is never going to get any better, and John is nearly thrown out of his flat.

The Prize by Trillsabells (101K, E, Johnlock) On 29 January 2010 an unknown Event wiped out 98% of the population. This is the story of the survivors, four months on.

The Quiet Man by ivyblossom (157K, E, Johnlock, Warstan) "Do you just carry on talking when I'm away?"

The Sustain Stories by maybe_amanda (151K, M, Sherlolly, John/Sarah) "So now you're behaving like a six year old 'cause he didn't take you along on his honeymoon?"  Lestrade said.  "Grow the hell up."

Through the Looking Glass by obsidienne (106K, M, Johnlock) When you chase criminals over rooftops, death is always a possibility. We woke up in 1889 instead. Which is not a place two men in a relationship want to be.

To Light Another's Path by BeautifulFiction (128K, E, Johnlock) Teaching John to observe seems to be a losing battle, but when Sherlock falls ill and submits himself to John's care, will he realise that there is more to life than the science of deduction? Meanwhile, there is a murder to solve, and John must try and convince Sherlock not to sacrifice his own health for the sake of the case.

Watches 'Verse by bendingsignpost (66K, E, Johnlock) First, he is shot in Afghanistan. Second, he wakes to a phone call in Chelmsford, Essex. Third is pain, fourth is normalcy, fifth is agony and sixth is confusion. By the eighth, he's lost track.

[felswritingfire]

Hey, everyone!

Have some housamo dad hcs that no one asked for! This guys kind of a monster (7978 big) so it goes under the read more. I just,,,, I really like domestic parent hcs ajlskfjlksdj

I kept the kids older years vague and just kept to biological gender because I didn’t want to complicate anything, if that makes sense, just give a little personality to the kiddo/kiddos but mostly focus on the dads, you know? Anyway Enjoy!

(Also so much thanks to @summonerscenarios for helping me with some of these and reading the beta, much love!!)

(Reader is gender neutral btw)

Arsalan

OIL DAD- OIL DAD-

He’d probs have one and then ask for two more- a weird lion thing you know? So, under the assumption that you’re A) down to give birth to three or B) end up adopting three kiddos, he’d most likely end up with two girls (both a year apart from each other) and a boy (who’s three years younger than the middle girl, making him the youngest and gentlest out of his sisters)

He honestly has a bit of a “Oh shit” moment when you guys gain a kid by either a series of events or you getting pregnant, he’s lowkey freaking out

He’s never had a kid before, I mean, sure, he’s been a role model to young people for a long time, but it’s not like he’s had to raise them from when they were in diapers; and honestly, he has this vague wondering if he’s even too old to be a dad- but then she looks into his eyes and it’s like all his worries wash away and then he’s thinking out loud: “if one can do this to me, Y/N, what do you think five more would do?” 

You’ve never seen him so happy and you’re almost sad when you have to shut him down. Almost. “We’re not having six children, Arsalan.”

                       “Ok, what about two more then?”                        “Arsalan.” 

Jokes on you, Y/N, you have two more.

He’s super involved with all of the babies, like, there isn’t a time where Arsalan isn’t seen with them when they’re babies, since the girls are older than their brother, they were with their papa while he was with their baby brother- btw, despite them being four and three respectively, they still loved him to death- and there wasn’t a time when he wasn’t holding or touching them when they were babies

OH! He doesn’t wear any oil when he’s holding them! Since he almost shit a brick one of the times he was holding your oldest girl because he almost dropped her. His hands were so fucking oily because he just finished a riviting round of ✨Turkish Oil Wrestling✨, that he ended up flailing with her like a melted stick of butter in his hands until he managed to get her into the crook of his arm (she was giggling the entire time). Never again. He learned his lesson the first (and last) time. 

Btw, you weren’t there for that, but if he ever looks at you with guilty eyes you know why

He hates diaper duty with a passion and will vehemently try to get out of it. Though, he’ll do it if you really can’t and he’ll silently accept his fate, even the girls will steer clear when he has to change their brother’s diaper. A lonely soldier left to his fate

He baby talks to them when they’re babies, like, straight up, every one of the kids gets baby talked 

No and’s, if’s, or but’s. They get the baby talk

The girls help you guys out a lot with their little brother, or at least they try their best and that’s all that matters. It’s actually really heartwarming??? They’re so attached to this little bundle in your arms, they love him so much

The two girls weren’t fussy babies, but they were very curious, and they kept that curiosity for their entire lives, so they would get into a lot of things that would cause you and Arslan to panic, while their brother was a little angel, he was very quiet and he rarely cried. Though, he didn’t like when you or Arsalan were away for too long, this was a problem for when you guys needed a babysitter for them, not with the girls though, oh no, they love everyone in the Aoyama Guild, especially Maria and Gabriel (the middle one might have a crush on her, but who knows 💅💅). But your guys’ little boy is a whole other story. He’ll start crying and none of them can calm him down, their only saving grace is surprisingly Nyarl. Which Arsalan dislikes with an immense passion

He’s so afraid Nyal’s going to feed his kids to some eldritch horror or teach them bad habits- *GASP* WHAT HAPPENS IF HE TEACHES HIS LITTLE BOY HOW TO SAY FUCK??? OH NO-

He has entrusted the girls with keeping Nyarl in check and the hyena actually listens to them (of course Maria or Zab is there to keep him in check too, they just don’t let the girls know that they’re actually the ones giving Nyarl The Look behind them)

When they’re toddlers, Arsalan starts teaching them strategy and starts wrestling with them so that they can know how to defend themselves with different fighting techniques 

You know that thing that papa lions do where they’ll feign getting hurt when their cubs bite them to build their confidence??? Yeah, he does that with the little ones. The girls are all proud of themselves each time they manage to “beat” their papa, but your little boy is devastated the first time it happened because he thought he actually hurt Papa Arsalan and he started crying and was too afraid to touch anyone for a good two days before Arsalan managed to convince him that he was perfectly fine and the way for him not to hurt someone is to embrace his strength and learn how to use it for good! Luckly, your little boy accepts the answer and goes over and gives his papa a big hug and Arsalan gives him a big ol’ kiss on the forehead

You still have the video- it’s cute- you’re never getting rid of it

Arsalan definitely takes them to the guild and everyone LOVES THEM

The girls get along best with the angels, the more aggressive ones specifically while your little boy gets along best with the healers of the guild; they listen to all of the stories that anyone is willing to share with them and they LIVE FOR THEM

They all swear up and down that they’re gonna join the Aoyama guild when they get older and protect their dad and Arsalan tears up

They MEET (officially) ZABANIYYA AND YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN MORE STARSTRUCK CHILDREN IN YOU LIFE (He met them when they were babies, but he was always too busy to actually swing by and say hello to the little ones frequently)

They think he’s so cool and he feels a little awkward around them, but he’s accepted his fate as Uncle Zab

By the time they hit their tween years, Arsalan is more in his element, he’s an amazing listener, and coupled with the fact that his advice is some A++ shit, his kids feel at ease telling him their woes. Also he’s always open with his affection so if they need a hug, he’s there for that too!

The girls, at this time, are much more similar to Arsalan, their brother on the other hand is very shy, so they take it upon themselves to act as “bodyguards” for their little brother

Your guys’ kids in general are pretty independent, so they’re pretty self aware of themselves; Arsalan made sure of that, especially since he was in the mindset of “making capable kings and queens”- he was a king after all

The girls would go into sports, something like volleyball or softball, while your boy would take up a lot of writing/medical classes in high- if he has the opportunity, he’d probably go into a philosophy class

Your guys’ oldest girl has a bit of a problem with butting heads with people, she’s opinionated and backs them up with facts, she knows what she believes in and will defend it, so she’ll get into the occasional fight

Your middle girl is your social butterfly and gets along with everybody; she’s super sweet, but she has a temper and strong sense of justice which gets her into trouble every now and then

They both team up to take care of their little brother, it’s actually really cute to watch them 

Your boy is the peace keeper of the group; he’s very passive and fights with his words rather than his fists, but he really wants to go into the medical field 

HAVE FUN DEALING WITH THE FACT THAT THEY ALL GET INTO SHIT LIKE THEIR DAD. You and Arsalan had to go and convince the Tycoons not to hang your oldest by her toes because she punched Ophion straight in the jaw and suplexed Lucifuge (Hakuman was having an amazing time- the other two were not)

When they graduate, Arsalan doesn’t cry, but it’s still super evident that he’s proud of his kids, each one gets a huge ass bear (lion) hug that squeezes the breath out of them

He may be a little shocked at first, but he takes it in stride like everything else in his life; he marvels at the way that your guys’ kiddos grow up so fast. Honestly, having a family was one of the best experiences of his life.

Ifrit

I like to imagine that Ifirt would end up with more than one kid with you, being that if you can actually have a baby/babies or if you guys adopt, he’ll want one right after the other, but only if you’re comfortable with that.

We’re going with the route that you’re comfy with having/adopting at least two children:

He’d probs end up having two little boys that are two years apart.

When you guys bring home your first little boy, Ifrit is a mess of tears and snot and he gives you the wettest and biggest smooch he possibly can on your lips. He’s always wanted a big family (but he was afraid he would never be able to really start one because of his debt until you came along and, thanks to your more skeptical nature and eye for seeing through scams, he finally got financially stable!) and now it’s the start of one and he’s so excited! 

SPOILER ALERT, HIS KIDS ARE EXACTLY LIKE HIM.

They are rambunctious little babies and are loud just like their father; I’m so sorry.

Speaking of loud- Ifrit does not help with the volume- if anything, he amplifies them; riling up the boys when he plays with them.

When he does play with the boys, he’s super soft about it with them. He’ll go down easily for them and play dead when they play any sort of game that includes a big scary monster.

 The first time he did play dead, his boys started crying and then he started crying after he couldn’t get them to calm down because he was overwhelmed with so much emotion for accidentally making his kids cry- you walked in on the three of them, with groceries lining your arms, cuddled up together on the floor crying their hearts out.

IFRIT DRESSES UP HIS BABIES IN MATCHING OUTFITS TO HIM-THEY’RE LITTLE ROCKSTAR BABIES

IT’S SOFT SHIT

YOUR EYES? BLESSED

YOUR HEART? STOLEN

IFRIT? BEST DAD

UM, HAVE YOU EVER REALIZED THAT IFRIT HAS A TAIL???? (because I sure as hell didn’t, but no surprise there I’m blind-) YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS:

BABIES KOALA CLINGING TO HIS TAIL

LIKE, CAN YOU IMAGINE THEM JUST HOLDING ON WHILE HE TIDIES UP THE HOUSE WHILE THEY’RE GIGGLING AND TEETHING ON THE SPIKES OF HIS TAIL????

He was a tad nervous when they first started doing this because he realized that he’s a pretty loud and expressive person, so he didn’t want to accidentally knock one of the boys off when he was super excited or he got angry; after you assured him that he was in fact, not going to hurt the boys, he started letting them cling to his tail. And, hey, you were right. He has never once knocked the boys off since, despite his excitable nature, his tail keeps relatively still when he feels the boys on there

Speaking of tails, if any of the boys ends up having tails or horns or fangs like him (especially if they’re biologically his and they get hit with all three), he’ll have you guys invest in a lot of… chew toys for dogs and scratching posts for cats

                    “Why are we getting dog toys for our kid again, Ifrit?”                     “One fucking word, babe, growing pains”                     “That’s two words-”                     “YOU GET WHAT I MEAN.”

Um, I’m so sorry if you wanted your kid’s first words to be “mama/papa/nano” (I read on reddit that’s a gender neutral term for parent, but like, real talk, if you have any other ones, just hit me up and tell me! I love learning new stuff in the LGBTQ+ community!) you ain’t gonna get it chief. It’s gonna be a cuss word because, let’s be frank Ifrit’s got a potty mouth from Hell (me too, man) and it isn’t going away anytime soon

So your kids are most likely gonna be cussing like sailors by the time they get into middle school/high school 

Ifrit is a pretty great multitasker in general, the other bonus is that he’s not afraid to change diapers, so when the boys were babies he was always ready to go when you needed a break

Just let him slap a clothing pin or shove a couple tissues up his nose and he is ready to go, babe

The kids usually cling to him, though, I feel the younger of the two would cling to you more so than Papa Ifrit, while the older one is attached to Ifrit: he copies everything that Ifrit does and is basically a carbon copy of him personality wise

It was kinda hard to convince them to let you guys go out for date night, but they’re super attached to Ebisu and Fenrir, and then Auntie Benten comes and tuckers them out since she has the same amount of energy as the little balls of chaos. So you guys usually call on them to come and watch the babies; once in a while Ahab and Aegir will join and the boys L O V E THEM (you two are honestly a little jealous tbh)

Ebisu is in charge though. Ebisu is always in charge

He’s a little lost in the tween years, but he figures it out pretty fast, luckily, your kids are pretty easy going and simple minded like Ifrit, albeit more aware of their surroundings since you beat it into their heads since you and Ifrit wanted to avoid some punks taking advantage of your kiddos, so they’re pretty straightforward in their thinking- though, your older boy has a hard time handling his emotions, while the younger boy has a hard time expressing his emotions, so you both have to take your time with them and talk it through with them and see how they’re feeling and to understand their problems. Which really isn’t that big of a problem for Ifrit, he’s a good listener and it’s easy for the boys to express themselves around him because, hey, he gets it. He usually let’s his anger control his decision so, he gets it, man

ONE THING THAT HAS ALWAYS CALMED HIS KIDS DOWN IS IFRIT’S FIRE TRICKS AND THIS STICKS WITH THEM THROUGHOUT THEIR LIVES

THEY LIVE FOR THAT SHIT

One thing that Ifrit never taught them, and you don’t know where they got it from, if they have horns, they’ll headbutt each other

This has lead to Ifrit, more than once, having to come and untangle their horns, due to the fact that he’s the only one who knows how horns work, because they got locked together, especially if they have Ifrit’s horns (also thank you Juno for giving me this headcanon, I love you-)

If you two ever hear frustrated yelling, you know exactly what’s happening and Ifrit sighs as he gets up while yelling, “again?”

Teenage years are actually quite chill, the boys don’t really go through that phase where nothing feels right or they’re embarrassed of their parents- they’re comfy in their skin and Ifrit and you provide a solid and understanding home for them, so they actually have the tendency to brag about you guys to other people- especially your oldest

What does cause a lot of problems, even when they were little, is fighting

The boys tend to throw themselves head first into fights because A) they have their papa’s temper and B) they can’t stand bullies

So they kinda act as the designated “Protectors of the Weak” if you will and usually it doesn’t end in a fight, their sheer volume and confidence usually makes people back off pretty quick, and if they’re biologically Ifrit’s, then, like, they also have the height and build along with them- or if they were adopted and they had big ass parents, it goes either way

But when they get into a fight- they throw down H A R D. T O G E T H E R

So, once in a while you two get calls to come and pick up the boys, since they got into another skirmish again with that Billy kid- 

Honestly, the first time it happened, Ifrit was pissed because, what the fuck you two? And then he got their side of the story (because of course he would, he’s a GOOD DAD) and he was like, “WELL, FUCK, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE MAD NOW??” So instead, he goes and gets them ice cream every time they get into a fight because he knows your boys would never start a fight unless absolutely necessary. Also they beat up a bunch of bullies HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT PROUD? HE RAISED THEM RIGHT

This might be one of the only serious arguments you ever have if you’re against the boys fighting at all (but like, I wouldn’t, they beat up bullies. FUCK BULLIES)

When your sons graduate from High school, Ifrit will cry at each of their ceremonies. Full blown sobbing- he’s so proud of his boys and he’s so ready to see what they make of themselves. 

Ifrit dad rating: 10/10, he’s amazing, please let him be a dad; he’s really matured from his younger days, especially now that he has kids. Being in a family with you has really made his life complete

Ophion

Ophion, to no one’s surprise, has a lot of experience under his belt. At least we would presume, but plot twist: this dragon is used to dealing with older creations rather than little baby ones. Not to say he doesn’t  have any experience with babies, he’s just… used to his kids being independent on their own. It’s a luxury when you got an egg that pops out Wyvern children who are fully developed left and right

He is totally down for babies tho, please, he actually really likes kids a lot and, when he was the older version of himself, he’d try to covertly play with them out in public if he’s with the Tycoons for whatever reason (they knew. They fucking knew what he did, none of them told him jack shit because Hakuman does the same exact thing and Lucifuge thinks his buddy is adorable when he plays with the babies, so like shit he’s gonna say anything. And Licht holds onto this as blackmail, just in case Ophion decides to really piss him off), younger Ophion gives zero shits about playing with babies in front of the Tycoons. He loves hearing babies laugh, so he’ll make some cool ass light tricks and babies and toddlers alike are in awe

Also, he has this tendency to try to give kids life advice and teach them philosophy that their little heads just do not comprehend, but they think he’s the coolest thing to ever exist so they just nod along and pretend they understand (he knows they don’t he just thinks they’re adorable 

He’d try to convince you to have a horde of children; it’s up to you to talk him down because, holy shit, Ophion we are not repopulating a planet. That’s a lot of kids to take care of-

You manage to talk him down to having two and seeing how it goes from there

Plot twist y’all end up with four children: split even boys and girls

Ok, so, I apologize but I’m gonna be drifting away from the gender neutral territory for a hot minute because, like, Juno pointed this out:

Giving birth to Ophion’s baby would be a nightmare: Ophion is a big dude, if I remember right he’s 6’10”, that’s huge if you didn’t know, can you imagine how big that baby is gonna be inside of you???? And the other thing- if they have any draconic characteristics then, like, have fun pushing out a baby with wings, my dude. So it’s either: pray that the little guy is baby baby sized or C-Section

Which is fine- you have options, so that works out great! Double bonus, you never have to worry about medical bills because Ophion is fucking LOADED; TRIPLE BONUS, SINCE OPHION IS LOADED YOU WOULD BE PAMPARED HALF TO DEATH AFTER THE ENTIRE DEBACLE

SPEAKING OF LOADED, your babies have all of the best shit ever since they were born into a rich family.

I’m talking about gucci onesies all the plushies they can imagine

Now, you might be thinking: shit. That means I have to be the tough parent.

Not necessarily

Ophion is particular about how he wants his kids to be raised up: he wants them to be smart and aware, not spoiled and useless. He honestly expects some sort of perfection out of them since, you know, the whole mindset of: well, they’re my children. Of course they have to be perfect

Which, no, bad Ophion. We don’t hold our children to unrealistic standards in this house, it’s up to you to knock him off his high horse. The good part is that he’ll listen to you and actually reflect on his expectations for his kids, he’ll even work on taking said expectations down a couple of notches which is great. 

You’ll probs still have to remind him once in a while, but he’s pretty good at chilling the fuck out when he needs to

Your kids go in the order of girl, boy, girl, boy; all of them a year or two apart, because of course

The first baby was a very rambunctious baby and Ophion threatened to chuck her out the window more than once- IN THE MOST LOVING WAY HE POSSIBLY COULD, I SWEAR- when she’d wake up crying in the middle of the night, because then he’d come and get her and she’d immediately start giggling and trying to grab his finger

He could never stay mad her and he’d end up staying up and rocking her until she fell back asleep 

The crib was barely used for your guys’ second and third baby- they were both easy babies for the most part, only really making a peep when they were away from one of you. Your boy was quite attached to you while the second girl was attached to Ophion; but your oldest girl and boy’s rooms weren’t really used until they each turned five respectively because they’d just climb into bed with you guys and set their younger sibling in between them- these were some of Ophion’s favorite moments tbh. It was so soft and gentle, it soothes his soul when he thinks about it

Your youngest was another rambunctious baby, not in the sense that he cried a lot, but in the sense that he was very… He had a knack for getting into things that shouldn’t have been possible

Like, you, Ophion, and your eldest daughter almost shit when you found your baby boy on top of the counter; no one put him there- you set him down for two minutes- but there he was, giggling as he crawled all over the polished countertops 

Also, PS: each of the babies has their own designated “nanny Wyvern” that takes care of them, but they’re more like, just huge ass guard dogs because they’ll try to make the babies a bottle of milk and it just… it does not work out so well, because sharp claws and microwaves don’t mix as you’ve come to learn

All the wyvern’s love your kids to death tho, they’d die for them. Nobody touches the babies unless they want to get fucking mauled to death by a thousand basically siblings

Each of the babies has gone with him on business meetings with the Tycoons, not that he was very thrilled- Ophion is quite the possessive dragon when it comes to his family- but you needed the load off, especially when you guys have four kids running around? Yeah. He isn’t gonna let you deal with that responsibility alone. 

So he brings them and the Tycoons were a little hesitant about the kids at first because, I mean, they’re Ophion’s kids, they have to be prideful little shits right?

Lucky for them, you keep what Ophion rubs off on his kids in check- especially the pride shit

So, turns out, that your kids are really sweet, maybe a little too confident, but sweet to everyone, and, surprisingly, Ophion’s kinda stickler for manners so they know how to behave themselves

BUT HOLY SHIT DO THEY LOVE GYUMAO????

YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY OR HOW- BUT THE KIDS ARE LIKE???? COW MAN IS BEST MAN

Ophion is lowkey pissed about it because those are his babies, fuck you, Gyumao

But you’re jumping for joy because um? Babysitter who is legit big enough to handle all of the kiddos in one room???? YES PLEASE

The second oldest really likes Lucifuge and will ask if he can comb his hair and Luci always says yes and convinces the kids to call him Uncle Luci; Ophion also hates this

Hakumen is honorary Auntie, they love her to death, especially the two youngest ones, and she likes to spoil them to piss of Ophion

The youngest really likes Licht and Melusine (all the kids are in agreement that Mel is super pretty and the oldest always asks her if she can hold her tail)

When your kids become toddlers, they’re all curious little things and like to hang around Papa and watch what he’s doing 

They’ll try to mimic him, so you’ve walked into a room and witnessed Ophion standing there looking over Tokyo majestically with a wine glass in his hand and all four of your kiddos lined up next to him trying to mimic him, all with their own respective juice cups (youngest to oldest, all trying to look like their papa??? It’s some soft shit and I will forever love Juno for adding and making this scene even cuter)

IF- IF HIS KIDS HAVE WINGS- WATCHING HIM TEACH THEM HOW TO FLY IS THE MOST WHOLESOME THING?????

He’s got a surprising amount of patience with them, so if they're scared to jump off the top of the couch, he’ll reassure them that he’s there and he would never, ever let them fall- and when they do jump? He catches them and praises them for being so brave and it’s just- *cries*

He’ll also take them out on flies so they can get used to the feeling of the wind on their faces and under their wings; they all get super excited if he does a cool twist in the air with them or something like that

The wyverns are usually out and about with them too, so they get two comfort buddies for the price of one fly!

Like with Ifrit, this dude has a tail, so the kiddos will grab onto it, and if they have tails, they’ll make a train of them holding onto each other’s tails as Ophion walks around the house or the Tower- everyone almost dies, because???? That shit cute.

You have so many photos of them doing this

Once your youngest girl fell asleep on his tail while he walked around and you almost died

When they hit their tween years, since they are confident kiddos, especially your two eldest, they have a tendency to push back with Ophion. And Ophion really doesn’t mind? 

He views it as them developing a true identity for themselves, but if they ever cross a line, pray for the kiddos, because he will put the fear of a god in them. He’s very scary angry

It’s even scarier because he doesn’t lift a finger, it’s just a look. A hard, narrowed, disappointed look. It shuts them up real fast

They don’t fight with you though. They’d never fight with you lmao they love you too much

Your two youngest are relatively easy because they don’t have as dominating personalities as their big sister and brother do. So they’ll still stick close to Ophion and listen to what he has to say

You’re eldest ones have an easier time talking to you about their problems while the little ones go to their papa

Though from time to time they’ll talk to the Wyvern that they grew up closest to and rant to them, all the while said Wyvern is squawking and cooing at them in understanding 

In their teenage years, they’ve been humbled a bit by their experiences, so they’re not as.... Over the top. They’re still dramatic tho

Honestly, they’d probs all go into theater. AND THEY’D BE INCREDIBLY GOOD AT IT

And Ophion would obviously brag about this because of course his offspring are amazing at anything they do

Your oldest girl is probably going to play a sport, probably swimming unless she has wings then she’d most likely play something like Lacrosse; you’re eldest boy would probably really into fashion because of Lucifuge so he’d take any fashion classes he could get his hands on; your youngest girl would be into business, courtesy of Auntie Haku and Uncle GyuGyu; and your youngest would most likely stick to theater and the arts; he fell in love with acting and I have this hc that Ophion is really into art in his spare time (especially since, hello- Old Greek God, where do you think they learned it from???) so he runs with the talent he has and just floors it

They all end up kinda, lowkey, running the school, their personalities just cause them to be natural leaders

When they finally graduate highschool, Ophion, if they can’t fly, will take them in his arms after the ceremony and they’ll fly around Tokyo just talking about everything and anything; if they can fly they’re doing the same thing, just instead they’re both doing kick ass tricks in the air! Either way, Ophion is proud and there’s the Wyvern they were closest to crying and nuzzling them because their basically little sib is all grown up

Ophion would kill for a big family with you and he’s such a good papa??? He’s naturally a good dad, it’s a little freaky- but he has so much fun raising this family. He holds all the memories he’s had with you and them close to his heart

Tadatomo

Tadatomo and you would probably have one baby in general, a little girl who’s very bubbly- though if you wanted a bigger family, Tada isn’t opposed to the idea

I feel like with Tada the baby, if you have the ability to have children- Hell, even if you don’t have the ability to have a child- you two still probably end up with having a surprise kiddo: they probably wind up being placed in front of your guys’ door by some random person-

Long story short, he freaks out

He definitely doesn’t know how to take care of a baby- he can barely take care of himself- Y/N, what does he do? Please-

It takes a lot of google searching, Youtube videos and phone calls to get Tada to calm down about the baby

After he gathers his bearings, he actually steps up to the plate pretty easily

Except for diapers, I’m so sorry, but you’re on your own for diapers. He’ll get you the stuff and everything, but, he just,,, He can not handle the smell

You guys don’t ever get a crib, if anything someone else gets you said crib (probably Mori) but you guys never use it because Tada places the baby between the both of you when you two go to sleep and, since he’s such a light sleeper, he’s usually the one to tell when she needs something before she even makes a peep

Not that I think she makes a lot of noise in the first place aside for her laughing- she’s just a happy and easy baby in general

Btw, Tada totally shed a tear when she laughed for the first time, he’ll never admit it but she gives him so much L I F E

He lets her play with his ears/tail, doesn’t matter if she pulls on them (which she doesn’t, she’s a gentle baby) no matter what time or place. He could be threatening someone with a knife and she’d be playing with his ears and everyone is like????? That’s kinda cute????   

He binge watches Naruto with his baby despite them not knowing what the fuck is going on and even gets them an Uchiha onsie because obviously Sasuke and Itachi are the bast characters in Naruto and no, he doesn’t take constructive criticism, thank you very much

He probably tries to convince you to name her after Tsunade, it’s up to you if

 you’re willing to go with it

(you’re kid probs has a hardcore anime phase in middles school and Tada and Shino NEVER LET HER LIVE IT DOWN)

For someone who was terrified of babies at first, he takes baby proofing the house/apartement very seriously; you’ll honestly have to stop him- he’s going crazy:

                 “Tada, for the last time, you don’t need to sand down the corners of the wall.”                  “But what if she runs into it?”                  “Tadatomo Inuyama, if you don’t put down that sander, I will have your head.”

You’ll sometimes wake up in the middle of the night just to find your baby isn’t there, it almost gave you a heart attack the first time because, I mean, HOLY SHIT WHERE’S YOUR BABY???

But when you look over and see Tada resting with her by the window and humming/singing her a little lullaby- your heart has never been more ready to burst in your life

Moritaka and Shino are the main babysitters, she absolutely adores Mori to death and Tada feels a sense of betrayal everytime she clings to him 

Moritaka has so many mixed emotions about it because on one hand: !!! My favorite basically niece! But on the other hand, Tadatomo has been glaring at the back of his head for the past 30 minutes, please, help him-

Shino also spoils her a teeny bit and Mori and Tada will stare at him with wide eyes, like, “dad, WHERE’S MY HUG???”

He starts her training early, because you know he wants his little girl to be able to take care of herself if he isn’t there to protect her, which, that’s not gonna happen, Tada will kill an entire city, don’t test him (also Mori and Shino and you’ll be there and like, nobody wants to open that can of fucking worms)

She’s clumsy at first, but she’s a really fast learner and he cannot be more proud when she starts to pick up stuff, he almost starts crying but, again, denies it if you try to bring it up

If she ends up having fangs of any kind, he will, like Ifrit, invest in chew toys as well, because have you seen puppies when they teeth??? It’s chaos, you will lose so much furniture that way, let me tell you

She develops a really good sense of balance, so it’s a fight to get her to stop breaking into the snack cupboard when she wants a treat; she’ll give it up without a fight, but she will break in again if you don’t watch it

She’s a pretty big ball of sunshine so she makes a lot of friends and invites them over; they all think Tada’s super scary because he’s glowering at them, if you tell them that that’s just how his face is, he’ll be mildly offended, but then you also throw in the fact that he’s a super cool ninja and then the kids are all over the poor transient 

He’s in heaven, but he won’t tell you that. Your guys’ daughter is all too happy to tell you guys all about how people think she has the coolest parents in school

Despite him teaching her how to fight, he’s a bit of a helicopter parent, especially when her tween/teenage years roll around

She’s a pretty easy kid in her tween years too, though Tada has a heart attack when puberty hits her and Aunt Ruby comes a knocking and he calls up Shino of all people to explain it to her, which he does, you’re honestly a little shocked when you get home and you see Shino with a whole powerpoint slide explaining in excruciating detail what a period is to your horrified daughter and your, as equally horrified, husband

He gets her everything she needs or asks you to get it if he can’t BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE GOOD PARENTS

Tadatomo isn’t the best with emotions so he’s shit with advice, but he’s a really good listener. So, sometimes your kid will just info dump to him about everything that’s bothering her 

When she starts getting into the dating scene Tada HATES IT

He’s always glowering at the partner she brought home because he already hates them, he wants them to go away. She’s his little Shinobi- DON’T TOUCH HIS LITTLE SHINOBI-

You have to be the one to calm him down tbh because he will kill a child with zero hesitation 

Her teenage years are also pretty easy, she’s a rather laid back and optimistic kid and she has a solid relationship with both you and her papa so she doesn’t really have a lot of negative emotions inside of her 

And if she ever gets angry or anything, you know Tada installed a gym in your guys’ home, so she’ll punch the punching bag or work out her emotions

Tada will join her if she’s feeling up for it 

She’s most likely into sports and Tada and you go to all of her games; Tada cheers the loudest but he will DENY IT 

When she graduates from high school, Tada will openly cry. He’s super proud of his little girl and she’s a step closer to being an adult, she most likely got a scholarship for whatever sport she was most excited for and a dozen other little scholarships as well. Tadatomo will give her a big ol’ hug and tell her how proud he is of her, honestly, you’re probs gonna cry too

He is another excellent papa, who would give the world to his kid- he’s honestly so happy that you’re with him because he feels like he would never be able to take care of her as good without you 

Xolotl

XOLOTL WOULD BE AN AMAZING DAD I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

I feel that he’d have one child, maybe two, but definitely one; a little boy

It’s most likely you who brings up the idea of having a kid with him; and he is both a nervous wreck and an excited mess because A) Oh! A baby! And you want to have one with him??? WHY??? And B) OH! A BABY! I LOVE BABIES AND I LOVE YOU

He’s a pretty gentle soul, so when you bring home the baby, Xolotl gets the kid to go out like a light every time he starts crying

It relieves both you and Lotl, but definitely Lotl, like, the poor guy always has a mini heart attack when his baby is crying

The baby is a bit of a fussy baby so, he tends to cry if he feels like he isn’t getting enough attention or he wants to be held 

Lotl is super attuned to your kids’ emotions?? Like, to a freaky degree, he can tell just what your baby wants

He records all milestones in your babies life and you know it’s him because you can hear his sniffles in the background

IF (and most likely) YOUR BABY’S FIRST WORD IS DADA, XOL WILL FUCKING LOSE HIS SHIT

                “Y/N! Y/N! Our baby said ‘dada’! Our baby said ‘dada’!”                 “Yes, Xol, that’s great! Don’t cry on the camera though, please-”                  *Incomprehensible blubbering ensues*

He’ll actually take the baby with him to work if you’re too busy to watch him or if you can’t find anyone to watch him 

AKA: Maria is super busy and can’t watch the baby, which kills her inside because she loves the baby and Xolotl, as much as he loves Garmr, isn’t about to trust him with his baby’s life because that is… a very foolish decision to make, unfortunately

Hakuman got mad at him the first time for this and started yelling at him when the baby started to cry, her maternal instincts kicked in and she was on it; like she snatched him out of his little baby carrier and cradled him, cooing at the baby until he calmed down and then she gave him back to his papa, who was mildly miffed for once in his life, thank you very much (his fur was standing on end, he was ready to throw down with the mistress). She even apologized for taking your guys’ baby without permission and startling him- don’t get her wrong, she was still very much against the idea of Xol bringing his baby to work. It can, afterall, be a very dangerous place, especially the casino, but what could you do? Obviously this little baby needed a place to stay and what better place than with his papa, her top bodyguard, and of course the one and only her!

She ends up convincing him to bring the baby a vast majority of the time he comes around now, she’ll have him take him into meetings she has with the Tycoons and they get nothing done. NOTHING. They’re all too busy playing with the baby. He has a tendency to get really antsy when Ophion comes near his baby, fighting the urge to snap at him, but he learned that Ophion just really likes kids and holding them. Though he did make the jab that you and him would’ve made much cuter children and Hakuman was terrified of Xolotl in that moment because he almost lost his shit 

When the baby becomes a toddler, Lotl is much more confident and experienced, but he’s still nervous, your little boy is still very attached to his papa despite this

When he meets new people that he doesn’t know very well, he’ll hide behind your’s or Xolotl’s leg and peek out at them

It’s really, really cute???? Lotl almost starts crying

SPEAKING OF CRYING, your little munchkin cries a lot

But Lotl never yells at him for it or anything, he just kneels down and rests his hands on his shoulders and asks what’s wrong, more often than not, your kiddo just gets nervous and starts crying, not loud and obnoxious, but those silent tears of stress. But then he gets a big ol’ hug from papa/you and he’s alright 

He likes to try and copy what Lotl does so he’ll pretend he has a tie and fix it whenever Papa Lotl does and he almost screamed when he caught your kiddo mimicking him

He’ll also steal Lotl’s glasses once in a while and wear them, pretending to be a kick ass agent like his dad

LOTL MADE HIM A MATCHING BRACELET TO HIM AND I SHIT YOU NOT WHEN I SAY: THIS BOY NEVER TAKES IT OFF, EVEN WHEN HE’S A TEENAGER THAT STAYS NO MATTER WHAT

Lotl gave it to him when it was his first day of school and told him that papa put some of his and mama/papa/nano’s bravery in it so he’d always have some of his own- and he just- AHHH-

As your little boy grows up, he develops a bit more of a bite than his dad has, so he’ll try to defend you guys from anyone if they try to say anything about his dad crying and hitting on you, they have one pissed off toddler on their hands and he fucking bites, it doesn’t matter if he has the fangs or not, he’ll bite someone

(You guys honestly don’t know where he learned that from-*looks at Garmr*)

When he hits his tween years, the boy is an anxious mess, but he’s not afraid to cry about it, he’s learned that crying is perfectly fine from his papa and it’s actually super healthy to get rid of all that pent up emotion, so you bet your ass when I say: your little boy knows a lot of healthy coping methods, which is awesome

It actually helps his transition through puberty a lot 

Real talk, he almost shits himself when he speaks and he realizes how deep his fucking voice is, even Lotl is freaked out. But then he gets real proud of it and so does Lotl and it’s a cute father-son moment

If he ever gets to be the same size of Lotl, he’ll still get plenty of head pats from his papa

His teenage years are pretty smooth sailing aside from him being a tad anxious and socially awkward about things, but he’ll get through it! With the power of support and him having a safe place to explore himself he’ll learn healthy coping mechanisms to handle his anxiety!

Though if he ever does get really emotionally constipated or it just becomes too much, he’ll go to Lotl or you and ask if you can hug him and he’ll just cry and let it all go, rambling into your shirt, you can barely make out the words, but still nodding along with what he’s saying- it really helps

He has a first job already in the bag: at the water park that Hakuman runs! Because like hell was he gonna work at the casino as a first job, over Lotl’s, your’s and Hakuman’s dead bodies. It really helps his social anxiety and he learns that he actually really likes to interact with people (also everyone loves him over there because he’s such a gigantic teddy bear)

He’s probably super into art and Lotl gets him everything art related that he can get his hands on, he really wants to support his kiddo 

Lotl and you go to every gallery that your son’s art features in and it’s always great because that’s where you get to see him shine the most

When your guys’ son graduates from high school with a fully paid scholarship to his dream art school for his portfolio, you're all crying. You’re all so proud of your guys’ little boy

Having a kid was really good for Xolotl- having a family was really good for him; it helped build his confidence and become more secure with himself. He only wished his brother could be here to see his nephew, but this was fine, he could probably see him know and see how good of a dad Lotl was

Bonus HC for Lotl: he’d be, hands down, one of the best characters to be a single parent. Change my mind

[miss-choco-chips]

The dangers of sugar coating

Dick tries to give his little brother nice things (and fucks up), Tim is paranoid (and too tired to think clearly), and Damian thinks they might actually be a good team (while they plot Santa Claus’ downfall).

(Beacuse @animemangasoul and I decided we’ve been too rough with Tim lately, so I tried to give him some batfamily fluff. Somewhere along the way I fucked up and ended with this. No edit, pure crack)

-----.------

-Before I tell you anything, you need to promise me you won’t get mad.

The Bruce of ten years ago, new to parenting and oblivious to its dangers, would have done his best to emulate any ‘How to be a good Dad- guide for new, utterly lost fathers’ book. Now, though, tired after raising Dick to semi-adulthood and still hurting over Jason’s… Jason, he knew better. Life had toughtened him up.

So he didn’t raise his eyes from his newspaper, and gave into the urge of sipping his coffee before humming under his breath. Not even the slightest show of acceptance over those terms.

If Dick was asking that, instead of hiding whatever this was or dealing with it himself, it meant the situation was either out of his control, bound to make its way to Bruce eventually, or both. 

Probably both.

-Come on, B, just promise you won’t get all passive aggressive bitch on me. I did it for the greater good...

Another hum.

However, Dick has spent the same amount of time learning under his guide than he had raising him, so the younger was bound to develop some of his own tactics.

-...and I did it because Tim obviously needed it, so…

Warning bells ringing in his mind, Bruce gave up and shoot Dick a look. He didn’t seem overly guilty, so whatever this was, it probably wasn’t irreversible. But he was also shifting his weight from one leg to the other nervously, so… there was a catch here.

-What did you do?

-You didn’t promise.

-I won’t take your allowance away, but I may yell. It depends on how convincingly you make your case -compromise, he had learned after many, many mistakes, was as good a plan as any. 

-Deal -then, quickly, like ripping off a bandaid:- I might have made Tim slightly more neurotic than he was. On accident.

The bells turned into firefighter’s sirens. 

-What did you do?

They have had the fifteen year old living in the mannor for a few weeks at most. They couldn't possibly have already broken him, right?

Right?

Dick winced, but sat down by Bruce’s left (the side closest to the dining room’s window), which meant this was the only issue, but a hard to explain one.

-You see… We were talking, bonding over childhood memories and stuff, and… you know how christmas is just around the corner, and I asked him about Santa. I mean, obviously he doesn’t believe in that now, but the thing is, he never did.

-He’s too smart for that -growled Bruce, impatiente to get to the point and figure out just how much damage control would he be doing.

-No, his parents were too shitty. They were never there on Christmas, so no gifts under the tree unless he put them there himself, and whenever that happened, it was because his parents sent them and he wrapped them himself. Also no surprises, because he was the one asking for specific stuff. And I got a little sad, because how can a kid never believe in Santa? Like, come on. It’s part of the concept of childhood innocence. So...

Bruce waited a few beats, but Dick didn’t follow up. See, this was the moment where his parenting books would suggest waiting until the kid was good and ready for sharing his thoughts. But, since this was his younger child at stake here, he couldn't allow himself the luxury of letting a single second go.

-And? -he prompted, as gently as he could, trying not to spook Dick into abandoning ship.

-And I sort of… convinced him that Santa was real. Like, a full out super powered meta whose purpose in life was to bring joy to all of us. I texted Barbara and she planted some old looking reports on the batcomputer about it, to give credibility to the lie. I even drew parallels with Batman being thought of as a myth outside of Gotham to support the ‘Santa is real, people just don’t believe in him’ thing. And, after some hours of convincing and with Babs’ help, he bought it. So now, if Tim approaches you about it, you better back me up, because otherwise you would be ruining the last vestige of innocence Tim might still keep. Downside, though, Tim is now holed up in his bedroom searching the deep web for any Santa related info he can get his nerdy little paws on.

Silence in the room. Dick blurted out a goodbye and jumped out of the window. Bruce didn’t get up to check if he had landed safely on the other side. He probably had. 

Tired, he looked down at his coffee. Black, just like he needed it now.

He should have stopped at zero children.

----.----

Cassie watched, with no small amount of unholy glee, as Tim thoroughly convinced both Kon and Bart of Santa’s existence. One a clone with little social understanding and the other from a very dark future, they were unsurprisingly easy to convince.

This was the kind of hilarious shit that made being in a superhero team worth it. All the life and death situations were balanced out by this kind of drama-like absurdity.

Even better was Tim’s completely fucked up perspective on the matter.

-So you’re saying Santa is not only real, but a deranged psychopath? Who’s probably both a pedofile and a mind controlling scumbag? -Kon tilted his head, both confused and esceptic.

Cassie did her utmost best to keep a straight face while nodding along, as if everything Tim had laid down in front of them made perfect sense. 

-I thought it was stupid, too. But Dick showed me evidence, old reports, both handwritten and digital, and I found footage of Santa sneaking into the Manor when he was still young, deeply buried in the Batcomputer mainframe.

-Couldn’t that video be, you know… made up? -Bart asked, frown unusual on him firmly in place.

-If it was anywhere else? Sure. But this is The Batcomputer we’re talking about. Why would Batman have that kind of thing there? It was too heavily protected to be placed there as decoy for anyone hacking, not like they could ever get over Oracle’s firewalls. Besides, what reason would Batman have to invent this? I’m fifteen, I don’t need the ‘Santa fantasy’. The only believable answer is that Santa is real and very dangerous, and some people have taken his name for capitalism’s sake and made a holiday out of that and some religious backing, to get more people roped up into it. The true mastermind is obviously hiding somewhere out there, and the Christmas propaganda is merely a means to get funding for his devious plots.

Both metas hummed thoughtfully, Superboy even crossing his arms as he examined the pile of photos and papers Tim had laid out in front of them. Bart was nodding, hand cupping his jaw. The looked dead serious.

Cassie wanted to excuse herself to use the toilet (lead lidden because this was Gotham, specifically Tim’s secret place, so of course it was super-proof) so she could laugh her ass off, but the temptation of seeing this trainwreck to its fiery end was too strong. 

It was taking up all of her amazonian training to keep her straight face, though. Diana would be so proud.

-I even searched the deep web for Santa related crimes, and looked up his name in disturbing forums. You wouldn't believe what some people, serial killers and rapists both, do using Christmas as a theme. I couldn't sort through it all, it was that sick.

Kon looked utterly disturbed- So what do we do now? Christmas is just around the corner!

Bart got up and started pacing back and forth- We need to hunt this dude down. Christmas is about goodness and family! We can’t let this, this… psychopath ruin it! Think about the children of the world!!

Oh god, this was getting even better.

-But how? The man sounds like a velocist of some kind, I mean, running and leaving gifts everywhere in the world in the span of a few hours? How are we even gonna catch him?

-Maybe if we dress up as Elves? -Cassie couldn't stop herself from suggesting, voice choked in her effort to be serious, but most likely interpreted by the boys as clogged up on rage- From what Tim wrote here -she raised a paper from the pile, hand shaking- it looks like they are his mind-controlled slaves. If he thinks we ran from his captivity, he might take us to the North Pole with him to brainwash us again… Oh, but I probably shouldn't dress up, so you know, I can be back up if he manages to catch you three…

-That’s a great idea! -Bart’s skinny arms wrapped themselves around her neck, and she took the chance to hide her face in his mane of hair, corners of her mouth twitching up.

-Should I also record it? -she asks, almost begging- In case people don’t believe us later, when we have to explain why we imprisoned Santa.

-Yes, I think that might be wise -Tim conceded, eyes scanning his papers again.

Thank the gods. That tape was going to be Cassie’s most precious treasure forever.

-I think he has a way of controlling people’s minds too. Like, parents and stuff. And then he makes them be the ones to give his children gifts in his name, as a way of gaining their trust. Sick fucker.

-So you think it’s a kinky thing for him?

-Kon, he literally categorizes kids as ‘good’ or ‘naughty’. 

-You are right, we need to stop this bastard.

Cassie loved her boys so, so much. She also owed Dick Grayson the biggest high five.

----.----

Red Hood was just lighting up a cigarette when he saw Red Robin making his way to his rooftop. Cursing, he dropped the entire thing and kicked it away. The brat knew Jason smoked, but Dick had been on his ass lately about being a good brother, and he still felt kinda bad about trying to kill the kid twice, so he was actually trying to set a good example. 

Besides, out of the two possible little brothers to take under his wing, he certainly drew the lucky ticket, because while Dickie had gotten stranded with the pompous brat, Jason had the all around good kid circling his radar more often than not. Like, Tim had broken him out of prison, a little after Jason had done his best to end his life; he couldn't get more forgiving and nice than that. It certainly beat making a murder League child let go of his katana on a nightly basis.

-I need your help.

He blinked. While they certainly had worked cases together in the past, they were always preluded by some kind of smalltalk,  little banter, at least a ‘hello’. Not this straight to the point bullshit.

He had the urge to take out his guns, to protect them both of any threat following Red Robin here. He refrained.

-What’s the matter, babybird? What’s wrong?

Tim looked almost frazzled. The cowl was hanging around his neck, just a domino preserving his identity, and his hair was a knotted mess. Disveleshed was too little a word for his state.

-We need to make a plan to catch Santa Claus before Christmas this year. His reign of terror must end. It’s still not too late.

Yeah, okay, he might need that cigarette after all, to hell with Dick’s bitching. Besides, how bad of a influence could that be, when this kid was obviously already on some kind of drugs? Like, Santa? Really?

-What… do you mean?

What followed was an hour long rant on the dangers of a super powered, evil version of the myth that Tim had somehow cooked up on his mind.

Was this real? The kid looked far too distraught for a joke.

-… Does Nightwing know about this? -whatever ‘this’ was- Bats?

Tim shook his hands frantically. Jason was legit getting worried.

-N was the one who told me about Santa -there, he knew this smelled like a Golden Boy trademark fuck up-, but he seems to be under his spell. Bruce as well. They tried to convince me he is some kind of good-hearted samaritan. Jason -he stated, breaking the no names during patrol rule, a show of just how deep into the rabbit hole he was- you wouldn't  believe what I found on the deepweb. Joker’s yearly special seems tame in comparison.

That, Jason could believe. But he was also fairly sure you could type about any word in the darkest side of the net, and find half a dozen kinky or deranged things that matched. Santa-temed crimes? More likely than anyone would believe. Real life Santa doing the deed? Not so much.

Tim had been too young when Dick lied to his face, most likely. And nowadays, the young vigilante was running on three hours of sleep on a good week. And it wasn’t even too far fetched to believe, on their line of business, specially when dealing with metas and supervillains day in and day out.

Still…

-Kid, I don’t know how to tell you this, but… Santa isn’t real -he told him, slowly, hands raised as if to touch his shoulders but not daring to actually make contact. Tim looked so manic he might actually nerve strike him.

The icy blue eyes were hidden under his mask, but Jason knew from the way he tensed that Tim was terrified.

-He got to you, too -he whispered, almost too softly for him to hear. Then, without giving Jason the chance to inquire further, he turned tail and disappeared into the night.

....

He really needed that cigarette.

----.----

When Drake told the family he was taking Damian under his wing for a case, everyone seemed so happy he couldn't just shoot the other man down. Besides, reluctant as he was to admit it, Red Robin was the superior detective in the entirety of the team, so there would be rewards for taking the blow to his pride and working with him.

He expected to be directed through some easy case, maybe a little puzzling but not too challenging. Or be sidelined while Drake worked through things, so he could learn by example.

This, though, this he hadn’t foresaw.

This case was way more serious.

-How come Father has allowed this depravancy to continue?! -exclaimed Damian, hands gripping the sheets of information tightly- This ‘Santa’s’ influence has been permitted to cement on too many people already! And it keeps growing!

-I know. Fuck, I know. But I can’t get anyone to help me. My team knows, but sadly we aren’t enough. Bruce and Dick don’t believe me, and neither does any other hero I contacted on the matter. It’s just like when B was missing in time; they either think I’m crazy, or try to sugarcoat things, like they would with a baby.

Damian snorted, disbelieving. Whatever his opinion might be on his predecessor, he at least knew to trust his insight in a case. Grandfather himself had recognized his genius on that field.

They were on Drake’s perch, his center of operations outside of Batman’s influence. He would never admit it out loud, but if Damian ever needed his own batcave, it would be just like this one. 

Now, the long table in front of him was completely covered in information, case reports, photos taken from live footage, deepweb forums’ conversations, history books…

-And you say this… monster, targets children?

-I mean, he brainwashes the parents too, but that seems like a plot to both increase his economic funds and to gain the children’s trust.

-How are you so sure they are his objective?

-The parents tell their children Santa is ‘always observing them’, and ask if they ‘have been good’ that year. If they aren’t perceived as obedient, Santa leaves them coal, which incentives them to do their best to change that by next year’s christmas. 

-Maybe the coal and gifts have mind control devices, or some magic?

-My thoughts exactly.

Damian frowns even deeper. He’s glad Drake is taking his detective training seriously, but if father himself is being deceived, he wonders what can the two of them (plus Drake’s team) do.

-What about Todd? Red Hood is proclaimed as Saint Protector of Children in Crime Alley, after all. He certainly has opinions about this ‘Santa’ person. 

Timothy shakes his head- He got Jason too. I suspect he’s been under his control ever since he was a child at the manor. 

-So, we are alone in this.

-Essentially, yes. Thankfully, not everyone celebrates christmas. Some religions flat out forbid it, so we won’t have as much ground to cover when we lay out a trap. We could choose a close by location and plan around it. 

He nods, back straight with purpose. He -and Drake, he supposes- would be freeing Father and Grayson, along with the rest of the victims, from this madman’s control. Maybe even Todd, if he has the time.

-I’m with you on this endeavor, Drake.

-Good. Remember we need to act natural in front of the family. If Santa catches wind of what we’re doing, he might focus his efforts in getting to us. 

Damian wants to say to let him come, he would show him why it's a bad idea to mess with his family. But Drake is, admittedly, the superior detective, and it seems he’s been working on this for a long time now. Damian will defer to his judgement this one time.

Drake’s superior knowledge and Damian’s unrivaled training might be what’s needed to orchestrate this ‘Santa’s’ downfall.

They will be a good team, he thinks.

[mamabearcatfanfics]

Instinct - Part Three

Read on below, or here on AO3 if you prefer!

Kaede sighed, rolling her neck from side to side to ease the strained muscles. She rose slowly from her cramped position at the low table where she’d knelt all afternoon, pounding fresh herbs for a poultice. Even though she used a cushion now as a concession to her arthitic knees, her joints were protesting painfully. Overuse, or was another Spring storm brewing, like the one last night? The fingers on her right hand spasmed a little as she shook them out, and she rubbed her aching knuckles absentmindedly. All these little aches and pains. When did she get so old? And why did these troubled times have to come upon her village? Yes, she was still powerful spiritually, but her aging body now came with all these niggling physical limitations that prevented her from seeking direct confrontation. The battle against Naraku and the collection of the Shikon no tama was much better left in younger hands.

Shuffling her weary limbs over to the door frame, she pushed the woven screen aside to look out down the road leading north, away from the village. The sun was setting, throwing its firey colours on to the darkness of the gathering storm clouds in the west. It looked like her arthritic joints had forewarned that more rain was brewing after all. She wondered how her children were doing, and if they were safely out of the weather.

Kaede smiled wryly. Such a motley little group they were. Even though they were no relation, and Inuyasha and probably Kirara were decades older than herself, she did think of them as her children, the closest she would ever get to having a family. Even though she was well liked in the village, loved even, the position of miko was a lonely one, set a little apart from the daily lives of others. Having that rag tag bunch burst into her life had brought her troubles, yes, but also joy.

She’d known Inuyasha longer than any of them. When she was just a simple village girl and her much older sister Kikyou was priestess of the village and guardian of the Shikon no Tama, he’d been there, looking no different than he did now, over fifty years later. Around Kikyou he’d been reserved, almost hesitant in his manner, as if he were afraid to upset her and draw attention to his half youkai nature. But he hadn’t been that way with herself, meeting her teasing questions with his usual gruffness, willing for the most part to suffer her childish fascination with him.

She could admit to herself now, she’d had the smallest crush on him – the innocent feelings of a ten year old girl for an older man who was beautiful, strong and unattainable. He was a big brother figure when for so long there had only been her and Kikyou, whom she’d adored as one who could do no wrong. And then Kikyou had died, accusing Inuyasha of fatally injuring her as she sealed him to the Goshinbuko in retaliation.

Kaede had visited the tree often in the weeks following Kikyou’s death. Yelled at Inuyasha, screamed at him, asking him how he could have betrayed them, when he’d shown evidence of loving Kikyou, when she herself had looked up to him as a big brother and a protector. In the following months when she could steal moments from her new role at the shrine, she visited the Goshinboku to sit amongst its roots underneath his silent beauty to weep hot heavy tears over the way her life had turned out. She had never wished to be a Miko, but she was helpless under the weight of village expectations when they discovered she also possessed reiki after Kikyou’s death.  

Over the years, those feelings had settled. Her grief had dimmed and she had accepted her role as village protector and healer, enjoyed it even. When her emotions finally ceased to cloud her memory, she recalled how Onigumo’s prescence had made her feel, the crawling uneasiness that crept up her spine whenever she visited that cave in Kikyou’s place. But there had been no answers to her lingering questions. And now… now she had more answers than she knew what to do with. Inuyasha had awakened and returned to her life, and so had Kikyou in a warped and twisted form. Onigumo had become the half demon Naraku and Kikyou’s reincarnated soul was housed in a girl five hundered years from the future. Fate truly had a warped sense of humour it seemed.

She was still learning what to make of Kagome, her far distant descendant who fell through time. She seemed to be such a spirited girl, always willing to speak her mind, never afraid to raise her voice, which was not in itself a bad thing, considering the circumstances. She had a good heart, always willing to give others a chance and try and see a situation from another’s perspective. And Kaede could plainly see that girlish heart longed for Inuyasha.

Was fate playing a part in this too she pondered? Inuyasha’s feelings for Kagome were also strong; Kaede was sure he meant for them to be hidden, but it was easy to see the regard he had for the girl. He cared deeply for her, in his own way. But what could come from it? Could they really have a future together? Only time would tell.

The last ebbing light of the sunset fell away, and Kaede let the door screen fall, shivering a little as the cool night breeze blew in around her ankles. Time to light a lamp and set the rice to cook.

She had just finished washing the rice and put the pot on the embers when she heard the sound of pounding feet coming up the path to her home, too fast to be one of the villagers, accompanied by the snapping aura of youki. Rising as swiftly as she could, knees cracking with age, she reached for her bow. But before her fingers could grasp it, Inuyasha crashed through the doorway, his chest heaving and expression wild.

“By the Kami Inuyasha” she scolded, “are you trying to give this old woman a heart attack? What is going on?”

He knelt next to the fire, clutching a gasping dark haired figure wrapped snugly in Kagome’s sleeping bag, and turned his beseeching eyes to Kaede. She was taken aback by his frantic words.

“Please, help her. Don’t let her die.”

Kagome woke with a start. She was so cold. Her teeth chattered, and she couldn’t control the intense shivers that shook her body, displacing the blanket that had been tucked carefully around her. But her head felt hot, sweat beading on her forehead then running down her face to dampen her hair and collect in the hollow of her throat. How was it possible to feel like she was simultaneously freezing and on fire – surely that was a physical impossibility. She groaned, wanting to open her eyes, but feeling like even that was too much for her.

Everything hurt. Every breath while she lay on her back cut like shards of glass, the pain excruciating, but she had no strength to sit up. It felt like there was a tight mask held over her face that only let the barest trace of oxygen into her screaming lungs, no matter how much she wheezed to take in air. Her body fought to cough and breathe at the same time, without her having any say in the matter, and she whimpered, panic rising. She was drowning on dry land, with no way to swim to the surface.

Warm hands. There was pressure on her shoulders, a soothing rumble, and she turned blindly towards it, craving the heat and life in those hands and the comfort of that sound. Now that she was upright her breathing felt a little easier, the pain in her chest and back more bearable, now he was here. Those warm hands moved her gently to lean against him, her naked skin shivering against fur and cloth, a deep rumbling sound vibrating against her spine. Warmth encircled her, those hands tugging a blanket up to her chin, and she sighed in relief, tucking her face in against that small patch of smooth skin, resting her nose into the hollow of his throat. The fresh clean scent of cedar and cypress from the woods calmed her. She could barely breathe, but she knew that smell.

“Inuyasha”, she gasped softly, raising one hand to clench her fingers into his suikan, her relief in his prescence palpable. She wanted to open her eyes and smile for him, show him she was glad he was here, but her body betrayed her, harsh coughs racking her already shivering frame.  

Inuyasha looked down at the pale girl in his arms. The previous silence of the small hut was now filled to the brim with Kagome’s coughing, the raw sound grating up her throat, stealing the air from her lungs until she was gasping. She looked so fragile, curled up as she coughed into his shoulder, letting out a soft whimper at the end of each fresh burst. It was a pattern that had repeated over and over since they’d arrived here the night before. Just as she seemed to settle and was drifting into sleep, her breath would catch, and another fit would start.

His heart clenched at the sight of her pained face, tears falling from her sooty lashes and down her feverish cheeks. He held her close, tapping on her back and supporting her as he had for the past night and day in the isolation hut.

When they’d first arrived and he’d begged Kaede to save her, the old woman had insisted he leave them in the isolation hut so she could get Kagome comfortable and sponge her down to help her fever, citing propriety. He’d hovered outside, snarling and pacing, listening to a barely conscious Kagome weeping and gasping inconsolably as Kaede tried to calm her with quiet words. After a few minutes, he hadn’t been able to stand it any longer, and had rushed back into the hut, pulling her semi-naked form into his lap, rocking her as he held her tightly in his arms. Almost without thinking, he’d begun to make that grumbling noise that he made only for her, and Kagome had calmed almost instantly, his deep rumbling vibration soothing her almost to sleep.

With a wry smile, Kaede had conceded to the needs of her patient and had handed Kagome’s nursing over to Inuyasha, only bustling in and out of the small hut behind her own to bring medicinal tea, broth, and water to sponge down her fevered skin. He’d lost count of the number of times he’d tapped on Kagome’s back to help her try to clear her lungs, sponged her heated skin with cool water in an effort to bring down her fever, coaxed the bitter herbal medicines down her protesting throat.

Inuyasha laced his fingers into Kagome’s, and she squeezed his hand hard as another coughing fit had her lungs spasming, more tears running down her face as she cried out in pain, finally managing to cough up the greenish phlegm that had been choking her into a cloth he had ready under her mouth.

“That’s it. Good girl. That’s my good girl. I got you.”

He hadn’t wanted to leave her side when she had finally fallen asleep after coaxing her to swallow a little broth to take away the bitterness of her afternoon dose of medicinal tea, but he’d had to. She wasn’t getting any better. There was no improvement, despite his and Kaede’s careful care. And he could tell Kaede was worried, no matter how calm she looked on the outside, which made him even more so.

So, heartsick and anxious, he’d gone through the well. He’d falteringly explained the situation to Mama Higurashi, his voice breaking a little as he told her exactly how sick he and Kaede thought she was. When she’d angrily demanded why he hadn’t brought her home straight away, he’d tried to explain Kagome’s reasoning and her fear of spreading the illness. Told her he was now making the decision to bring her back through the well against her wishes, and that he didn’t care if Kagome was angry with him. He’d just wanted to warn Mama first, in case she thought precautions needed to be taken.

After a few moments of pure panic, Mama had embraced him, soothed him with quiet words that he’d done the right thing in letting her know, and had taken charge of the situation just like he’d hoped she would. While he hovered in the background, she made a phone call to another mother to arrange a sleep over at a friend's house for Souta, then ran out to Grandpa sweeping the temple grounds to explain the situation. He’d wanted to stay, but she’d finally got him to agree to stay with one of his friends for the night, just until the doctor had seen Kagome.

Then she called their family doctor, asking if he could make a house call as soon as possible, explaining her concerns about possible influenza and not wanting to take Kagome to the emergency room at the hospital, just in case. As he left the shrine she’d just finished collecting medicine from the bathroom, and was busily putting clean sheets on Kagome's bed, the bedroom window wide open to and air out the room. All Inuyasha had to do was bring Kagome back through the well. He could feel the fear driving Mama’s nervous energy, but it also gave him hope. He didn’t care what else happened. All he cared about was Kagome.

Now that Kagome’s coughing fit had eased, he propped her limp form up against his chest, reaching for the pyjamas that Mama had given him to dress her in, fluffy, pink and soft. It was easy to tug the pants with the elastic waist up her legs and over her underwear, but the shirt with its tiny heart shaped white buttons tested his shaking fingers.

Kagome thanked him sleepily, her voice raw from coughing.

“Kagome, I gotta tell ya somethin’.”

She blinked her eyes open, looking blearily upwards and taking in his tired anxious expression with concern.

“Inuyasha, you okay?”

He snorted, sighing exasperatedly at her, and smoothed back her damp fringe.

“Stop wastin’ your breath on me, dummy, it’s you that we need to worry about at the moment.” He took a deep breath, his gaze serious. “Kagome, I want you to listen to me”, he said, his voice slow and deep. “I don’t want any fuss, and I’m not gonna take no for an answer. I’m takin’ you back through the well to your Mama.”

“No”, she whispered, reaching up to tug on his suikan weakly, her voice wheezing and cracking, “contagious… don’t want them to die… isolation hut, you promised.” Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, and her bottom lip trembled.

“I didn’t promise nothin’ of the sort”, replied Inuyasha gently, brushing away her tears with his thumb. “Besides, you’ve been here in the isolation hut for over a day Kagome, and you’re just gettin’ weaker. Kaede agrees with me. I ain’t gonna let you get any worse. I know you’re stubborn wench, but so am I.”

He folded down the collar of her pyjama shirt that was sitting crooked, and gently pulled the dark hair caught inside the collar loose to rest down her shoulders. Her tearful expression of betrayal was breaking his heart.

“I explained to your Mama what you were worried about, and she has it all sorted. Your grandfather and Souta are stayin’ somewhere else. She’s got a doctor comin’ to the shrine and medicine organised. It’s going to be okay. You’re gonna be fine”, he said, his voice hitching a little. He pressed his forehead to hers, then planted a brief kiss there as he tucked the dark sweat dampened hair hanging in her face behind her ears tenderly. “That’s what Mama said, and she’s never lied to me, so it’s gotta be true, right?”

His voice cracked a little more, and he took a deep breath, pulling her close to him, tucking her in under his chin to hide his sudden tears, blinking them away before Kagome could see them. He could swear over and over that he would protect her, that he would lay his life on the line for her, but what good was a sword against this?

“Inuyasha”, she whispered, her face burrowing into his chest, “… I’m scared.”

He pressed his lips to her hair, rocking her in his arms as he had the night before, when he was desperate for her to get some healing sleep. “Don’t cry my sweet girl, don’t cry. I got you.”

He eased himself to his feet with her still in his arms, moving slowly and carefully. He paused in the doorway where Kaede waited to say goodbye.

“Don’t cry child”, she said soothingly, patting Kagome’s arm in a comforting manner. “Inuyasha is doing the right thing – let him take care of you. Your body is working hard to fight this illness, but this fever of yours needs to come down, and you need rest. I am sure the healers in your time will know how to proceed, and I have no doubt I will see you again when you are feeling better.”

“Kaede…”, Kagome whimpered tearfully.

“None of that now”, said Kaede firmly. “Off you go. I’m sure your mother is anxious to see you.” She nodded to Inuyasha, her expression calm and kind. “Keep your spirits up Inuyasha”, she said softly, “all will be well, you will see.”

He blinked at the older woman, his own eyes bright, then nodded, his jaw clenched tightly as if to prevent the unspoken fears in his eyes from spilling down his cheeks. With Kagome held safely in his arms, he took off towards the well, his graceful speed pulling them from Kaede’s sight in no time at all.

Once they were safely away, the serene expression dropped from her face, and she raised her tired eyes to the heavens, the late afternoon sun lengthening her shadow far behind her. In her long years as a healer, she had seen very few recover from the lung fever once their symptoms were as severe as Kagome’s, but surely the kami could not be so cruel. She was worried for Kagome, but just as worried for Inuyasha. How would he handle the loss if Kagome died, when he was only just beginning to accept the place she held in his heart?

“Please”, she pleaded, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek, “please let all be well.”

Mama was waiting for them at the well house, her usually kind brown eyes anxious above a white mask that covered her nose and mouth. Her breath hitched as she took in Kagome’s flushed cheeks and shallow breaths and she blinked away sudden tears.

“Mama, I’m sorry”, wheezed Kagome.

“Shh, baby, everything will be okay, you’ll see. I’m just glad to see you.” Seeing Inuyasha’s startled expression at the mask she explained.

“You said Kagome was concerned about infection, so I will wear this mask unless the doctor says she’s no longer contagious – that way she won’t have to worry. Please take her straight up to her bedroom so we can give her some medicine to help with her fever. The doctor will be here soon.”

She followed quickly behind Inuyasha as he carried her daughter up the stairs to her bedroom, watching silently as he gently placed her on the bed and propped her upright with soft pillows. She handed him two small tablets and watched as Inuyasha coaxed Kagome to take them, praising her when she managed to swallow them down with sips of water.

“Now that we’ve got Kagome settled, we need to disguise you a little before the doctor gets here”, she said quietly to Inuyasha, stroking his shoulder. “I’ve put some old clothes of my husband’s in the bathroom, a t-shirt and some loose comfortable pants – he was about your height, so hopefully they’ll fit well enough.” Nodding, he dropped a soft kiss to the top of Kagome’s head, then left the room.

“Inuyasha?” Kagome called out, her eyes widening at his sudden absence.

“Shh my darling, it’s okay. He’ll be right back after he’s changed into modern clothes. You want him to be able to stay in the room when the doctor is here, don’t you?” Mama soothed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Reaching for the cloth sitting in a bowl of tepid water, she wrung it out, smoothing it over Kagome’s face and wrists, the heat of a mother’s love swelling in her chest. Her baby. No matter how old Kagome got, she would always be her baby.

Kagome began to cough and Inuyasha reappeared in the doorway as if summoned, pulling the dark t-shirt over his head as he sat on the other side of the bed, easing Kagome forward a little so he could tap gently on her back.

“That’s it. That’s my brave girl”, he soothed, as Mama reached for the box of tissues, placing them in front of Kagome. “Cough it up now, that’s the way.”

Mama couldn’t help the sudden tears that sprang up to roll silently down her cheeks, dampening the mask. When had the brash self-defensive boy that had burst into their kitchen over a year ago been replaced with this kind and caring man, his face worn with worry and fatigue? The weight of fear sat heavy on his shoulders, but his eyes when he looked at Kagome held an intensity of feeling that could not be denied.

She had been watching the growing attachment between her daughter and Inuyasha with trepidation at first, unsure how any relationship between them could work. They were both still so young! Where would they live? Inuyasha was half youkai - was it possible for them to have children? And what would happen when the first blush of love receded and Kagome began aging and Inuyasha did not – would he turn her aside? Questions, too many questions that had no answers, none that she felt she had a right to ask. There was no denying the love between them. And she felt with all of her heart that they were made for each other, and meant to be together. But she knew only too well, that love, no matter how strong, could be taken away, and she was petrified, for both of them.

She had grown to care for this boy like a son, this vagabond half demon from the past that had burst into their humdrum modern lives. Kagome had explained his lonely life previous to their quest for the jewel, and Mama had decided from that moment to love him fiercely, whether he wanted it or not. She could feel the neediness in him; it was hidden deep down, so deeply that he probably didn’t recognise it himself, but she could see it. She had welcomed him into her family, done her best to show him that she valued him both for himself and as a protector of her daughter, accepted him as he was. And now just look at him.

Kagome closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep.

“Inuyasha”, she said quietly, watching as he maneuvered himself to sit on the bed so Kagome could lean against him, “when was the last time you ate?”

His slow blink and blank stare had her nodding. Not recently then. “What about Kagome?”

“I managed to get her to take a little broth around midday. But not much. She said that eating makes her feel sick.”

“Alright, I’ll just make something for you then.”

“You don’t hafta. I’m alright.”

Smiling, she reached forward as she stood, softly tweaking one of his pointed twitching ears.

“I know I don’t. But I want to. You’re taking such good care of my daughter Inuyasha, let me take care of you.” Tactfully ignoring the sudden brightness in his amber eyes, she left the room to go down to the kitchen, turning to take one last look at them before she headed down the stairs.

Inuyasha had his head bent forward, his lips pressed firmly against the crown of Kagome’s head, his own long white hair falling either side of her face like a protective curtain. He was making a sound she could only compare to Buyo’s contented purring, deep and low. It was a calming sound, and even though she knew it wasn’t meant for her, Mama took comfort in it. Kagome was as safe as they could make her, until the doctor arrived. Yes, she was very ill, but she was also young and strong. Their little family would get through this, and come out the better for it, she was certain.

Part Four

[mumufic]

Some additional notes on characterization

For The Three Sisters, I’m trying to write a coming of age story with a lot of rather abnormal elements (hello, time travel and first Wizarding War!) and since I want to write the characters I have here growing into who we eventually come to know of them when they’re older, I guess you can expect:

Some of them start out rather ignorant. Sirius and Regulus (when he does appear for longer than a cameo, he’s a little shit, and not a particularly likable one) come to mind here, because of their family background. The thing is, despite the fact that Sirius is obviously progressive and inclusive, he wouldn’t really know how to frame a lot of things in ways that wouldn’t be offensive unless someone taught him how to. Kids learn by example, and the only example of words and reasoning he has are his parents and other relatives, and all of them are bigots. I’ve already covered his use of the word “mudblood” in my previous post. There’ll come times when he sounds a little like Malfoy: a little elitist, a little braggadocious, especially when it comes to his family’s privilege. And the thing is, in some ways, this is perfectly understandable too. The Black brothers in this story have had very little socialization with other children, and when they do, it’s also to other extremely privileged, magical kids. So expect some level of schooling (ok, a lot levels of schooling) for Sirius. I expect James would suffer from this as well, probably even worse than Sirius, in some respects. James has been brought up in a tolerant and loving home, but he’s an only child whose parents doted on him so much, he’s become a little arrogant. I want to be able to show them growing from their arrogance and ignorance organically, because I don’t think they come out of the box being the wonderful, loving people Harry knew in the books.

Some of them can be very mean-spirited. Petunia, Holly, James and Sirius all fall in this category. We already know about Petunia because of her actual characterization in canon, and I don’t want to do away with that. I’m writing a Petunia Evans redemption arc, yes, but I don’t want to do a personality transplant with her, so yes, she can have a mean streak, even once she’s shown to start becoming an actual likable person. Holly doesn’t have a mean streak - that isn’t how Harry Potter is characterized in the books, but when it comes to anyone associated with the Death Eaters, her hatred knows no bounds. Remember that as far as she’s concerned, Snape killed Dumbledore without remorse, Lucius Malfoy tried to curse her when she was in second year, and Bellatrix Lestrange killed her aunt and uncle, however much she disliked them, right in front of her. Her anger, the meanness, it comes from a pretty damn deep well of pain, no matter whether she chooses to dwell on it or not. On top of that, she’s still a Horcrux here, and that Horcrux? Actively corrupting her. James and Sirius played canonically mean-spirited pranks on people, that James only stopped doing when he started to mature right around seventh year, and there’s little indication that Sirius actually stopped being rather mean at all. All that dumping on Peter? Canon provides evidence. Just check Snape’s Worst Memory and The Prince’s Tale, not to mention how Sirius displays an astounding lack of remorse over the fifth year prank he played on Snape that nearly resulted in Snape’s death. And you know what, I like writing that. I don’t expect 11- and 12-year-old kids to be little angels. They’d be hella boring to write if they were. 

Some of them can be rather fickle. I’ve got upcoming chapters where Holly and Sirius are like this, Holly mostly pertaining to what she wants to do about the war, and Sirius about manners, decorum and respect. Let’s unpack this. Holly is a 17-year-old trapped in an 11-year-old’s body. Her last memory from her timeline is waiting to start her quest to hunt Horcruxes, a quest Dumbledore entrusted her, in order to end the war. She gets transported back in time, trapped in a much younger body, and treated by everyone as if she was in fact eleven, even by the people who know she’s older. Suddenly, it’s like she’s a little kid again, and people expect her to act like a kid. Nobody wants her to be all grown up, and all the company she keeps are young kids. Yes, she should know better than to engage in childish arguments and fights, but she’s so immersed in being a kid again that her maturity starts stagnating, and at times, even regressing, because she’s suddenly have to reason with kids, which means she constantly has to put herself in a kid’s mindset in order to understand where they’re coming from. Doing shit like that everyday, with no rest to be what you truly are? It’s a mindfuck. Before long, you start forgetting that you’re something else and not what you’re pretending to be. That’s what’s happening to her here. There are occasions when she’s forgotten that she’s older, she’s more mature. She starts acting like the children that she has in constant company. She’d feel bad about being petty in hindsight, but not while it’s going on. And I think that’s valid. As for Sirius, I’ve got some bits of exposition sprinkled in about how his upbringing was like besides the blood supremacy rhetoric, and believing that the Blacks are owed the world. Sirius learned manners, decorum and respect from Andromeda (it’s in Chapter 7: The End of Summer) and by all accounts, Andromeda was a rather strict teacher. So we can expect Sirius to be mostly formal, even a little stiff, have impeccable manners, and the perfect polite gentleman in normal conversation. So why does he try to high-five Remus when Remus fell over Holly? Well, he’s still eleven, and he’s seen James applaud bad behavior, and probably thinks it must be fine then because James thinks it’s fine. He’ll applaud it especially if he thinks it’s either retaliatory or mean to Slytherins, because he obviously hates them.

Some of them can’t seem to make up their minds as to whether they like someone. So this will crop up a lot in second year, primarily on Holly and Sirius, and to a certain extent, Remus. Holly basically thinks the boys are all gross. She’s 17, they’re 11. Kids are gross.  Remus is a kid with a crush, who responds to said crush in a pretty healthy way: he engages with them, talks to them more, looks out for them, but absolutely will not say anything or do anything about his crush. Why? Well, the easy answer is that he’s a werewolf, and Remus has been fed all his growing up years about how lycanthropy is contagious (Lyall Lupin was extremely prejudiced against werewolves, until his own son was bitten, so there’s every likelihood that Remus would have internalized a lot of his father’s rhetoric, especially after he was bitten, leading him to decide that he must not be allowed to procreate. As a child, that’s equivalent to not being allowed to even have crushes or have their crushes like them back.) Sirius is a bit strange to write. He doesn’t actually have a crush, but his parents have made a proposal on his behalf, one he hates. He doesn’t want it, but at the same time, it consumes him to find that the person his parents have intended for him doesn’t appear to want him, when they should! He’s the Heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black! They should be privileged that the Blacks even want them for him. But at the same time, he’s utterly repulsed by the idea of having to marry someone, be with someone he might not even care for. Man, that’s hell of a lot of spoilers, but all of it’ll make sense when second year comes around.

And, I think that’s all the meta I can come up with for this fic for now. I’m sure I’ll be back, wanking on here again some time later to talk about other aspects of my fic.

My dilemma now: I feel like I had so much happen in second year that I’ve nothing to write bout in third year. So you know what you’re going to get for third year? Puberty.

Yes, that means zits and periods.

[obxlife]

Perceptions (Rafe x Reader)

A/N: This is like my third Rafe request and I have another one on the way and can I just say that I love writing about Rafe? Don’t get me wrong, he’s probably the most challenging character to write for, but, God, I love it. Also, this was for sure the hardest work I have ever done. Like almost every single character in this request is way more complicated than I’m used to, but I’m really glad I wrote it. I think this may not be my best work, but at least I tried, right?

Pairing: Rafe x Reader

Request: Hi! Could I request a Rafe x Reader where maybe the reader is Barry's younger sister but she is the complete opposite of him: she's basically a soft, innocent sunflower, and wants away from the life her brother lives. Somehow her and Rafe meet and he becomes totally smitten with her? Something with angst and fluff maybe?

Summary: You hated the fact that people would judge you because of your older brother. People would constantly assume you were a drug dealer, an A-class bitch, and a low life. Nobody ever tried to get to know what you were really like: sweet and innocent (for the most part). So when Rafe comes around one time when Barry is not home, you get mad at him for having the wrong perception of you.

Warnings: Mentions of drug use and drug dealing

PERCEPTIONS

No matter how hard you tried your brother seemed to have the uncanny ability to ruin your life in every way possible. 

Admittedly, your life wasn’t very good, to begin with. 

For starters, when you were two and Barry was four, your father beat your mom up so bad she had to go to the hospital for twenty-three weeks. The day she was supposed to come back she never showed up at the door of your dingy house. Both you and Barry cried that night. 

Two years later, your dad was arrested under charges of child abuse (the bruises on both your’s and Barry’s bodies were enough evidence of that), and you and your sibling were left under the care of your aunt. 

However, Aunt Jess was just as much as a mess as your parents had been. Sure, life with her was a bit better than with your father because there were no beatings, but there never seemed to be food on the table or warmth in the winter. 

When Barry reached middle school he began to change. It seemed as if the sweet version of himself that you had grown up with was being hidden inside a dark room only for a meaner version to take over. This began to happen around the same time Aunt Jess’s boyfriend, Adam, came into the picture. 

You and Barry were not stupid children. You knew Aunt Jess kept Adam around because he had a knack for getting a hold on drugs. You also knew that Aunt Jess was using him as a form of “protection”, as she knew no one on the Cut would ever dare raise a finger in his direction. 

What you never noticed was how Adam was pushing his job onto Barry. 

You never knew what had happened to your brother, and he never wanted to talk about whatever was going on inside his brain. So, in three short months, your relationship fell apart. It was soon after that Barry began to completely ruin your life. 

See, unlike him, you had made friends that were actually a good influence and had a good family life. They lived in houses that weren’t perched upon wheels like yours was, and they had fridges that were always packed with food. They had clothes that shined and smelled nice, and their skin always seemed clean. 

But Barry had to come in and scare them off by being the complete worst. 

“Did you know Y/N and I are poor?” he would begin. “We’re only friends with you so we can steal all of your stuff!”

The tone he would use would imply that he was trying to be sweet, but you knew he just wanted you to suffer along with him. He wanted you to have no friends and feel no love just like him. 

The thing with Barry was that the rest of the kids in his grade knew he had been trying and dealing drugs. They had seen Adam hand it to him in the morning so that Barry could sell it to the older boys that went to the high school that was just down the road from his own school. The kids that were in Barry’s grade wanted nothing to do with a drug dealer. 

So Barry took out his anger on your relationships. He made every single one of your friends turn their back on you. For the first time in your life, you wanted to not be related to your brother. 

But that was impossible and you knew it. So, you tried to be as different as him in every single way possible. You would refuse the drugs handed to you by Adam, you would not talk with curse words, and you would be gentle. You would be sweet towards your teachers, you would try to ace all of your classes, and you would show compassion towards others. But, try as you might, this did not change people’s perceptions about you. 

Five lonely years later, Aun Jess died. Overdosed. Adam didn’t care. He didn't even prepare a funeral. He just took you and Barry and kept Aunt Jess’s house to himself. He began pushing the entire business onto Barry, telling him that he would soon be the one to take over.

“It’s gotta be you, kid. You’re doin’ amazin’ with it right now. Those boys you sell the drugs to? They got good money.”

Barry would just stare at Adam and laugh. “It’s what you taught me.”

“Yeah,” Adam would say. “Those Kooks got good money on them.”

As they would smoke a few cigarettes you would try to concentrate on your homework. 

“Get ready, kid,” Adam called out to Barry. You were pretty sure he didn't know Barry’s name. Or your’s. “I’m heading out soon and I’m leaving you kids with some good shit to stay afloat for a while.”

Barry could only stare back at Adam. “What do you mean?”

Adam sighed. Your pencil wasn’t moving on your paper. He was leaving? While Barry was still a minor?

“Don’ worry about me, kid. I just feel guilty if I leave you nothin’.”

“When?” was the only thing you asked. The men turned towards you in surprise. You hadn’t spoken to either of them for a couple weeks now, as you tried to avoid as much interaction as possible with either of them. 

“I don’ know yet. As soon as I feel like it.”

It was a month before Barry turned eighteen that Adam felt like it. Leaving. 

The broken-down trailer that had once belonged to Aunt Jess now belonged to you. And you made sure to change things once Adam was gone. 

“This is my room,” you made clear to Barry one August morning. Yous stood on the doorway of what used to be Adam’s room. “None of your buddies can come in here, okay?”

“What do you mean? I thought I was making the rules in this house. I want that room!” he screamed. 

“Well, you ain’t getting it. I don’t want one single gram of whatever drug you’re dealing right now in here, and if one of your junkie friends ever comes in here, I’m screaming bloody murder.”

You shut the door in his face. After that day, you didn’t come out of your room for a week. You had been crying for days on end, wishing that somehow Barry would go back to being the sweet boy he had once been. 

That was the problem. No matter how much you wanted Barry out of your life, you still loved and cared for him. No matter what fucked up things he did, you still wanted to know he was safe. And no matter how much you didn't want to, you would cry for the boy he had once been. 

It had been two years since Adam had left when things seemed to change a little for the better. It had been an ordinary summer day. You had just graduated high school (with zero friends and zero colleges to go to because Barry had stolen your college money about four months ago) and you were tired of being cooped up in your room. You had gone outside and into the open air because Barry and his friends had finally left somewhere. You were just walking around the porch, trying to put things back where they belonged when you heard a bike. 

“Oh, no,” you muttered thinking Barry was back. However, when you turned around, you saw a Kook taking off his helmet. 

Huh, you thought. Didn’t Barry stop selling to the rich because they had tried to rat him out to the cops?

The Kook approached the porch where you were standing on, waiting for him to talk. He didn’t seem to notice you yet, as he tried to look into the windows of the trailer. 

“Um, hi?” you said gaining his attention. 

Startled, the boy turned around. You hadn’t expected him to be so... hot. His hair was gelled back and his green eyes stared at you before going back to the window of the trailer. He was tall - a lot taller than you (but you were Barry’s sister so that meant you were not that tall at all). Lastly, you noticed his muscles pressing against the cloth of his shirt. 

Turning back towards you, the boy did a double-take and said, “Hey.”

The boy had sworn he had never met perfection, but you were pretty goddamn close. He really just felt entranced by you for a couple of seconds, and couldn’t help but feel like you were a gift in this world. He shook his head. Stop getting distracted, he thought. You’re only here for the coke.

He moved towards the other window of the trailer and peeked inside. 

“May I help you with something?”

The boy shook his head before speaking, “I - I don’t think so. I’m looking for Barry. You know where he is?”

He seemed to be avoiding eye contact with you.

“No.”

You decided that this was probably one of Barry’s junkie friends that just so happened to also be a Kook. You wanted nothing to do with him. 

You began to clean once again before the boy spoke again. “Do you know when he will be back?”

“Not really.”

“Oh.”

The boy continued to stare at you. He thought that you might be Barry’s sister. He had mentioned you once or twice when selling drugs.

“Hey, aren’t you Barry’s sister?”

You froze. You didn’t know Barry had been talking about you to his customers. 

“Yes.”

The boy smiled. She’s hot and she sells? “Cool. So can you, like, sell me something?”

You’re anger spiked up. You hated it when people assumed you sold drugs just because your brother did. You hated how people just assumed things about you because of your brother. 

“I don’t sell,” you muttered trying to reach for the doorso you could go back inside to your trailer house. The boy stopped you before you could continue. 

The boy would never admit to it, but he didn't want to see you go so soon.

“C’mon,” he pleaded, “I won’t tell Barry anything.”

Now you were truly mad. However, you just sighed. 

“Look, just because Barry sells drugs does not mean that I sell them too.”

The boy stared at you in disbelief. So she doesn’t sell? Huh. “Aren’t these things supposed to run in the family?”

You nearly choked on your own spit. “Um, I’m sorry. What?”

The boy shrugged, thinking that maybe that was the wrong thing to say. “Isn’t that how it works?”

You shook your head violently. “No. No, it’s not.”

You tried to reach the door again, but the boy stopped you. Again.

“Okay, fine. Don’t sell me any drugs. Just tell Barry Rafe was here.”

With that, the boy left. Rafe? What a strange name, you thought. 

Rafe, on the other hand, was smitten by you. He couldn’t believe he had really made that much of a fool of himself. That was why he had decided to truly leave. 

The next time he came around he was surprised you opened the door. His breath caught in his throat and he coughed, trying to breathe again. 

“Oh. It’s you.”

“Yeah.”

Turning around, you called out for Barry. 

When your brother appriached the door, you left to go back to your room.

“What’s up, Country Club?” Barry belted out, wrapping a hand around Rafe’s shoulder. He was still thinking about you. “You here for that good stuff?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“You got my money?”

“About that...”

Barry shook his head. “No money, no drugs, Country Club. You know how it is.”

From your window, you stared at your brother and the blond boy. Why hadn’t he left your mind since the last time he was here?

You couldn’t hear the words exchanged between your brother and Rafe, but you could tell they seemed to be arguing. However, Rafe managed to convince Barry of whatever he was trying to convince him of. After that, he left. 

But that was not the end of Rafe. You began to see him a lot. Heading towards your house, or when you were out in town. It seemed as if you two just continued to bump into each other. It was through these many bumps that you began to form a relationship of friendship, though both you and Rafe truly felt more than that. 

You had fallen for him about two months after meeting him. It wasn’t as if he did something specific to make you fall for him. You just simply did. 

It was almost the same way for him. There was not one thing in particular that made you latch onto his heart, but he still gave it to you. 

There was only one thing that bothered you about him, and it was the fact that he was using drugs. It wasn't a topic either of you talked about or tried to talk about around the other, but it was safe to say that if he wasn’t doing drugs, you would have never met. 

Despite this, you were sure you could help him. You just knew, from what he had told you about his life, that if you showed him how much you loved him he would manage to work his way away from coke. 

You truly believed this, because, in fact, you had no clue as to how bad Rafe really was. It wasn’t until weeks later that you realized that Rafe might have been too far down the road for saving. 

He had shown up at your door desperate for Barry. He was acting in a frantic manner, as if something had shocked him or made him want to calm down with the help of coke.

He had barged right through you into your house, shoving drawers open and turning the already messy trailer even messier. 

“Rafe!” you yelled. “What is going on?”

“I - I just know there has to be some. There has to.”

“What?”

“Maybe here? No, no. In the drawer? Where... where...”

The blond continued to mutter as his hands shook. “I need - I need some right now.”

You stared at him in shock. “Need what?”

He was becoming more and more frantic with every second that passed. “I need it. I need some.”

You couldn’t do anything. What was wrong with him?

“Coke... coke,” he muttered. “Where - hidden. Yes, yes.”

“There isn’t any,” you said after gaining enough courage to speak. “He took it all with him. Said it was the last of his deliveries for a while.”

Rafe shook his head. “N - No. No. There has t - to be some here...”

“Rafe,” you whispered. 

“I need some!” he suddenly exploded. Grabbing things and throwing them around, breaking the plates that were on your counter. “I fucking need some!”

“Rafe,” you whimpered. You were scared. What else was he going to throw around? How much time was going to pass until an object eventually hit you?

“No! Stop! I need some! I can’t fucking think without it!”

“What are you talking about?”

He stomped towards you, “Where is it?” He grabbed onto your face. “Tell me! I need it!”

He pushed you down onto the couch, as you whimpered from the pain in your cheeks. “I don’t know,” you sobbed. 

Rafe was panicking. His breath had shortened as he pressed a hand against his chest. “I - I can’t...”

He sounded so winded. He suddenly dropped and curled up into a ball. His breathing was erratic and was not going back to normal. Swallowing your fear you shifted towards him. Your palm paused before touching his back, afraid he might hurt you. You finally decided to press it against the boy's cotton shirt. 

As soon as your hand touched his back a sob escaped past his lips. “I just can’t do it.”

You rubbed your hand up and down in a circular motion. Your other hand came around to his hair, shuffling your fingers through it in what you hoped was a relaxing motion.

“Do - do you want to talk about it?”

Rafe shook his head and sobbed. However, he did begin to speak about it. “Barry cut me off. And I just have been so fucking lost without it.”

You sighed, mad at yourself for not having noticed this. 

“And - and now, my dad - he kicked me out.”

not knowing how to comfort him, you pressed your lips to his hairline. “You’re okay. You’ll be okay.”

At this, Rafe shrugged you off. “Don’t say that. Nothing is okay. I - I can’t get my shit together and I’m falling apart -”

Rafe was cut off by your hug. A short time later he hugged you back, and you felt a tear fall down your cheek. You just wanted Rafe to be okay. 

He continued to sob for a long time. You just held him, letting the shirt you were wearing become drenched in tears. You had no clue what to say to make him feel better so you only remained quiet. 

When his sobs turned into sniffles, you pulled him back a bit. You wiped the tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

You frowned. “For what, Rafe?”

He sighed. “Scaring you and throwing things around.”

You smiled softly, but the smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. “It’s okay.”

“No,” Rafe shook his head, “it’s not. It’s not okay that the one thing that calms me down other than you is coke.”

You had stopped listening halfway through his sentence. “Do you mean that?” 

“What?” About coke?”

You laughed at his awful attempt at a joke. “No. About me.”

“Oh,” he replied, dumbfoundedly. “Uh, yeah.”

You smiled and hugged him once again. “I’m going to say this really fast, but I really like you.”

Rafe tensed in your arms. “Tell me you’re not joking.”

You smiled against his shoulder. “I’m not.”

Rafe pulled back with a smile on his face but it fell. “No. No, no, no. You can't like me.”

“What?” you asked, offended. 

“I’m terrible. And you - you’re perfect. And sweet. And kind. And so unlike me or Barry or anyone else. And you’re special.”

“So?”

“So, Y/N, I ruin every single good thing in my life. And I don’t want to ruin you.”

You stilled. Was that really the reason? Your heart soared at the same time it clenched in pain. 

“Well,” you began, “you don’t get to determine what I do and don’t deserve.”

“Y/N -”

“No,” you held your hand out. “Let me finish.”

“Okay.”

“Trust me when I say this, Rafe,” you tried to say without breaking into tears. “But you are so much more than you think you are. You are also kind. And sweet. And special. And I want to be with you.”

Rafe smiled once again before looking down at the ground. “I want to be with you...”

He paused, almost as if for dramatic effect. “But I want to be better for you.”

You nodded your head, but you didn’t fully understand. He could tell because of the confused look in your eyes. 

“I don’t want you to be with me yet because I want you to be with a better version of myself. I want to be better for you.”

At this, you smiled once again and threw your arms around him. You sighed happily and whispered in his ear, “I’ll wait for however long it takes.”

Rafe wrapped his arms around your waist once again for that day. 

“I’m so happy my first perception of you was wrong,” he muttered. 

“Me too,” was all you could say. 

[adenei]

Auror 99 - Chapter 10

You can find the whole story on AO3 or FFN

Curveball

Hermione’s plan had come to fruition quite easily with Amy helping. Harry and Ron had spent the past couple of days in the records office trying to gather information and possible evidence. They’d contacted Kingsley to get clearance without having to sign in and risk blowing both their real and fake covers. 

Meanwhile, Jake and Charles had been placed on stakeout duty outside the Woolworth building. This time, though, they weren’t looking for a specific person, but some other type of consistency. Perhaps someone entering or exiting the building at the same time every day, or whether there were similarities in people’s gaits with their walk. Hermione and Amy had researched possible ways to imitate a person, and, with the trio’s past use of Polyjuice, they had more ideas of what to look for. Rosa was still stationed on surveillance duty, so she was monitoring the surrounding blocks for any sudden appearances. Sometimes she, Charles and Jake would switch around their duties to not get caught up in the monotony.

What Ron and Harry had found the next day was a similarity in times on the main sign in sheet for the Wand Records Office, but it was always a different name. The names were always male, so if it was Gerteso posing as other people, it narrowed the search for who the 99 was looking for. Once in the Wand Records Office, the second sign-in indicated that Gerteso was searching wand records between 1993 and 1998, but the rows varied. It looked as if Gerteso had been tackling about five rows a day, and was a week in. 

He typically only spent about forty five minutes searching each day to not arouse suspicion, and he didn’t go in order when searching the rows. Gerteso clearly planned everything out to minimize suspicions. The first day Harry and Ron were investigating, they split up the rows between them. 

It was a small records office, the rows weren’t very long, and the shelves were only four rows high. The years were labeled at the ends of the rows and indicated the record holder’s school age entrance year.  Records were kept in manilla folders that had stickers on the end with letters. The first two appeared to be the first and last initial, and most folders only had two stickers, but some had three or four. So Harry and Ron decided to decipher the labeling system first to see if they could save time.

“How in the world does he get through five rows each day? There must be at least a hundred records to sift through on each shelf!” Harry said as he was looking down the row.

“Maybe there’s a classification system with the letters that makes it easier for him to look.” Ron suggested. He scanned the row he was currently scanning. “Americans certainly go through a lot of wands, don’t they? This one person has had at least five, and their Ilvermorny start was in ‘93!” He shook his head in disbelief.

“Guess they’re more careless than we are, or more interested in power and status. Who knows.” Harry was silent for a bit before he said, “Hey Ron, I think the third letter is the married name for those witches.”

“I think you’re right, Harry,” Ron said as he handled a folder himself. “Black and white lettering for first and last name, blue and white lettering for married name, yeah?”

“Yeah, now let’s look for-” Harry cut himself off as they heard a door open.

Ron checked his watch and knew it was close to that time. He pointed at his watch, and then the end of the row. Harry grabbed the invisibility cloak from inside his pocket and put it on while Ron made his way to an area in the shelves where the newcomer wouldn’t find him. He double checked that his phone was on silent, and opened it to send a text message to Jake and Charles. He’s here.

Jake responded fairly quickly. Harry texted Charles. He’s going to give us a description to work off of so when he comes back out we can trail him to see where he goes.

Brilliant, Ron sent back before switching his contacts to Hermione. 

Her response was a bit less stealth. Omg. He’s there? Are you going to apprehend him? 

Not yet.

Well, why not? Isn’t that the whole reason you’re there???

Ron rolled his eyes. He was once again reminded why Hermione wasn’t an Auror. Hermione, we don’t know for certain that it’s him. Plus, we need to be sure we know what he’s after to have enough evidence. It’d look pretty bad if we arrested the wrong guy and then spooked Gerteso.

Ugh, fine. 

While we’re waiting, have you found any more on The Cryptic yet?

OH! Yes, actually. Amy is going to send you a couple files now. It may actually help us narrow it down.

As Ron was reading Hermione’s text, he saw the drop down notification from Amy and clicked on it. There were three links to articles. He clicked on the first one. Apparently one of the street names The Cryptic goes by is Francesco Martini. At least that was his good samaritan name. 

He was the youngest philanthropist New York has seen in decades, only 28. It was an article about how he donates thousands of dollars to help orphaned children, both magical and non-magical. He even takes some of the kids into his home, almost like that Daddy Warbucks in that muggle movie Hermione had made him watch once.

Hmm, I wonder if that’s a cover to better assess kids for the squib trafficking. Ron texted Amy.

I was thinking the same thing. Everything we’ve found on Francesco Martini is pretty solid and checks out, though. He’s careful with his aliases. Plus, he’s only ever seen in pictures by this name, so whoever his true identity is, he keeps that locked up tight.

Merlin, how does she text so fast? Ron thought. He moved onto the other articles she sent to pass the time. The first thing he’d do once Gerteso left would be to double check the name Martini, happy to have a solid plan for once.

The last article was still open on his phone when he noticed something about Martini’s picture. Why didn’t it look the same as the other article. Ron quickly toggled back and forth. Bloody hell, he thought as he opened the text thread for Hermione. 

Check those images on the articles of Martini, and tell me if you notice anything. He sent the text and waited a few moments. Sure, the years were two apart, but he was vastly different. Almost as if a beauty charm was used on the more recent article. In the older one he looked like-. His thought was cut off as Hermione’s text came through.

It doesn’t look like the same person, even though he’s labeled as Francesco Martini. That’s odd. I’m having Amy cross reference to see if we get any more image hits.

Notice anything else? Ron sent back.

The older image looks like someone I’ve seen before.

Like Gerteso.

Oh, my... YES, RON THAT’S RIGHT! Ron nodded as he read Hermione’s message. 

There are some differences, though. 

You don’t think they could be brothers, do you? That could fit the whole taking what’s rightfully his.

Maybe even closer than that.

TWINS? But how…

I don’t know. I’ll search both names, Ron sent the last text to her as he heard a door shut. Harry texted. 

He’s leaving, but don’t come out yet. I want to be sure. I’m texting Jake and Charles to make sure he doesn’t see them following him, and not to engage. They’ll meet us back at headquarters.

They waited a good five minutes before they received word from Charles that Gerteso had left the Woolworth building. When Harry told him it was safe, Ron quickly showed him what Hermione and Amy had found and where he wanted to look.

“But that wouldn’t make sense, I trailed him the entire time he was here. He didn’t search the rows he wrote down in the log book, either, Ron. He stayed in the G section of 1998.” 

“I think they’re brothers Harry, and if Martini is an alias, then of course Gerteso would be looking in G. Let’s just check the M1998 section.” Harry nodded reluctantly as they quickly found it.

“There’s no Martini here, Ron,” Harry said impatiently, but Ron didn’t move.

He stood there, thinking hard. “What did Kingsley say about the Sanguinity connection with The Cryptic?”

“Just that the Sanguinity named him head of the New York Division,” Harry said, scratching his head.

“He’s 28, Harry. Very young. There’s got to be something special about him.”

“Or maybe they couldn’t find a suitable leader in New York and sent him here,” Harry said half jokingly.

Ron looked up at him. “That’s it! Harry, you’re brilliant!” He immediately began moving to the end of the aisle. 

“What? I was only-”

“But what if he was sent here? From Italy? Do they have immigrant records?”

“Er, yeah on the other side of the floor.”

“What are we waiting for?” Ron hurried to the immigration record area and searched for Martini. It didn’t take long to find one singular match in 1998. “Bloody hell,” Ron muttered as they grabbed the file.

He opened it as Harry looked over his shoulder, and sure enough, there was a picture of a boy who closely resembled a younger version of the man who Ron had seen in the article. It turned out Martini was indeed an alias.

“So The Cryptic’s real name is Lorenzo Guarnieri?” Harry asked quietly. 

“Looks like it. Let’s take pictures of all this so we can take it back to the team.” Ron handed Harry the folder as he reached for his phone. 

As Ron was taking the pictures, Harry continued studying the document. When it came across familial relations, Harry drew a sharp breath in. “Whoa.”

“What?” asked Ron.

“I think you might be right about the brother hunch, mate.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Ron asked curiously.

“Because it says so right here. A twin brother, who was older, but presumed dead. Leonardo Guarnieri.”

Ron looked up at Harry and both men had the same thought at the same time. “Gerteso.”