#where i wrote all my fandom stuff everywhere

[thoughts-of-the-unheard]

i need a lockwood and co logo or symbol or something

[woodlandscab1n]

Guys... guys lets go back in time. Guys guys guys please.e..

I can't wait 'till I can get all the other RE games that I haven't played, get hyperfixiated on the whole franchise and literally never stop talking about dumb small details that I saw in a game and talk about that small detail a lot also go on a rampage of finding all the info I can of certain character.

[olderthannetfic]

Sending this to you specifically because I feel like you're the only normal brained person about this series.

I read Captive Prince a couple of years ago and liked it fine, as someone who doesn't have a strong preference for or against m/m and therefore isn't well-versed enough in its clichés to notice whether it reads like something full of cliché fanfic tropes. I really liked the use of language, some of the historical/political stuff, some of the ways that the characters are made complicated or unreliable.

The problem is, I've since coincidentally read most of the books that were Pacat's inspiration and. Well. Like 80-90% of the stuff in there has direct parallels in one of those. I'm not sure if there are more than three original thoughts in there.

I am not joking, if you read 1. The Lymond Chronicles and House of Niccolò by Dorothy Dunnett; 2. The Nightrunner series by Lynn Flewelling and 3. The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice, you will find that some of the scenes were ripped off beat for beat, many jokes were taken and just lazily reworded, a lot of the character beats and arcs are at best a mashup of 2 or maximum 3 things from those books with the serial numbers filed off really poorly. There's a scene where some characters discover a suicide victim whose structure and descriptions are completely ripped off from another series, except Pacat fails to see what made the original scene so impactful. A lot of the pretty use of language is also directly copied from those, including some really really specific descriptors. It's so blatant!

And I don't see how people are okay with this! I know people who are fans of several of these works and they're totally cool with it! And honestly if it were some rando's unpublished original project I'd be cool with it too, but as a published beloved worldwide phenomenon with rabid fans? C'mon.

And another thing is, all of the other series mentioned above are balls to the wall insane. She just... she just made it bland. She took off most of the edge and reshuffled the elements into a fairly straightforward MLM love story with some light kink thrown in. It's not a BAD series, but I feel like I'm disappointed that someone read all my favourite books and THAT was their takeaway?

--

I started reading, got to the name of the series and burst out laughing.

And, wow, you brought up something totally new that I hadn't thought about! I'm impressed. Genuinely. Usually, I rant about all the reasons I hate the series while debunking the standard anti talking points.

--

I've read the Vampire Chronicles, but that was in the 90s and I read Captive Prince in like 2016 or after. I had zero recollection of common points. I haven't read The Lymond Chronicles despite years of hurt/comfort fans bugging me to do so, and I think I got like a chapter into the Nightrunner series before getting distracted...

The reason I found Captive Prince annoying and derivative is that it also reads exactly like the original m/m that was available when it was first being written, most notably the work of P.L. Nunn who was extremely famous for horny fan art but who also wrote some original m/m fantasy novels. The scene where they finally bone reminds me heavily of the one from... uh... what's the P.L. Nunn one where the prince creeps on that archer dude and he gets raped because of course and then the prince has to be ~patient~ and it's peak boring 2000s rape recovery tropes?

The rape backstory is not only lifted from Fushigi Yuugi (the author's fandom at the time) but is shared with basically 100% of original m/m from that era. It's sometimes the uncle, sometimes the stepfather. One single time that I can think of, it was the foster brother, but mostly it's that "funny uncle" type. Unless it's gang rape from a bad Gundam Wing fic. That was also everywhere.

Once somebody told me the author had previously shipped Tamahome/Nakago, I realized that they'd taken what would be a kind of unusual anime ship and made it a thousand times more boring by dumbing down the scary, tall general with the tragic backstory into an uke-appropriate waif.

So I guess what I'm saying is that there may be some inspiration you aren't familiar with, but it's the same story as what you said above: this is the blander remix.

--

As for why people are okay with this... honestly, most of the people who really adore the series whom I've talked to point to how it encapsulates the exact tropes and tone they loved in anime fic circa 2000.

As a fellow weeb, I loathed the tone of said anime fic circa 2000 and could not wait for tastes to change, so Captive Prince is a hideous blast from an unlamented past for me.

I think most people who love the series aren't familiar with its inspirations. Those that are may have consumed them quite a while ago and don't realize quite how direct the parallels are. Or, for the inspirations that aren't overtly canon m/m, the lure of it being Exactly Right may overshadow other things.

(They also mostly haven't read 90s fantasy doorstops that actually contain political intrigue, tactics and strategy. Captive Prince is a piss poor entry into this genre and should be recced for m/m, not this other stuff people constantly think is in there. None of these characters can reason their way out of a paper bag.)

More than any of that, there's a lot of love left over from when the series was a serialized original story on Livejournal in an era when we had vanishingly few original m/m works, especially long ones in a fantasy alternate world.

I think that is what gets it a pass when a new m/m novel presented as "m/m romance" or posted on one of the webnovel sites would be mocked for unoriginality. Many Captive Prince fans aren't (or weren't when they read it) all that familiar with the smorgasbord of original m/m available today. Many are unfamiliar with anime fanfic circa 2000, so this feels adjacent to the fic they've read but a little fresher... instead of like the week-old sardine tin I found it to be.

[alicesmindpalace]

A quick birthday 🎂 post about some of the reasons Iike and respect Ian so much.

I made one for Anthony's birthday and this is a good occasion to keep on talking about why Ian and Anthony are two of my favorite people.

Recently I've noticed that Ian is getting a lot of praise. In these last year or so there have been a lot of comments everywhere on youtube appreciating him for keeping Smosh alive all this time, being grateful for all that he has done during the "single working mom/dad working two jobs" era when Defy collapsed, and saying how great he is for the way he manages to foster such a good work environment at the company to this day.

So I won't add to that and just mention some other little things that I think should be mentioned more.

Referencing what I wrote in the Anthony birthday post, I always thought that Ian and Anthony handled the split with a lot of grace. It still blows my mind tbh how careful they've been to never say anything publicly that could even indirectly harm the other’s reputation, and that is so rare when these things happen. Ian especially as the person that most people considered the hurt party could have said things to gain the fans favor, it would have been very easy at the time because for a longest time the fandom was looking for someone to put the blame on. But Ian didn't turn Anthony as a villain in the eyes of the fandom even if he could have easily done it just by throwing some weird comment here and there, knowing that people were waiting for him to say something. He actually did the opposite of that and even when the chance was served to him a lot of times, he always refused to fall for the bait, and instead said nice things at the time, even if there was a bit of resentment there like he said after the reunion on a couple of interviews.

This obviously also speaks about Anthony's character too and who he is off camera, because there must be a reason Ian had that level of respect and loyalty. Like, I can't stress how rare this is, and how much I appreciated it.

Another random fun little thing that shows how respectful Ian is in these situations imo is how he always makes sure to subtly correct people in interviews and stuff, whenever the interviewers mention that "they" created Smosh as early as 2002 fr example. He could just roll with it, nobody would even notice, or know but he always makes it clear that it's Anthony that built the website and started the whole Smosh thing, and he does it when Anthony is not there to listen. It's subtle but a soon as he hears it he always finds a way to correct it, even in passing. I noticed this many times and I just love that.

He is very "fair" imo, and doesn't try to earn respect when he feels like he didn't deserve it, I still remember how genuine he sounded for example when he went out his way to correct Keith one time and say that he doesn't want his fans to defend him or to love him unconditionally, and wants them to hold him accountable, even when Keith had framed it in the way where it would have been easier for Ian to just agree with him and say that he's thankful for the fandom to be by his side no matter what. "I don't really relish in the idea of someone supporting me no matter what. I should be judged" /"The thing you said about unconditional love? The fans don't really know the person that they are a fan of".

Basically what I am trying to say is that I really appreciate that you can tell that he is a nice guy even though he doesn't do anything to sell you the idea that he is. He doesn't hide his love for drama, or gossip, or trashy shows or and doesn't hold back from judging or being cynical, he has a moral compass but it's his own and it's not for show or to gain any sympathy.

I think that what Ian said is true and it's impossible to know and to love someone unconditionally as a fan just by watching them through a screen, and my love is conditional, but what I can say is that what I have seen so far I really liked lol.

I think that people like Ian or Anthony are so difficult to come by! I'd talk more about how much I like them, but I want these posts to stay short so, yeah

Happy birthday to Ian!

[brightlypainted]

I went completely bananas and wrote a full analysis of Joker Out and JO fandom stuff and situation... idk

Hi baby boos!

I’ve seen some confusion regarding JO’s latest announcements and social media activity (or lack thereof) so I've tried to analyze the current situation with a critical eye 🤓

I don't use Tumblr much so you're probably more familiar with my Twitter but I got suggested to post this here for easier reading (and... better audience in general 👀)

Long rant under the cut:

Before I begin I must point out that these are my opinions and theories. I have no idea how JO’s communication and management is being organized right now, I’m just making assumptions based on my perception as a fan 🤷‍♀️

(also I’m a communication graduate but my studies and current job cover this sector only tangentially so I may not know how some/most of this works…)

Let’s start with comparing last year’s situation to the current one: one year ago the boys were riding high on the wave of enthusiasm, having had a successful ESC (despite the ending placement) and having gained a lot of attention as fan favorite competitors ✨

A very high % of the growing fanbase, esp the international one, was coming directly or tangentially through ESC and how do you maintain that attention once the contest is over? you increase your social media presence and you start planning international concerts. which they did!

This constant exposure to content made the fandom flourish: we were all witnessing how easily people from everywhere could join and already feel at the very center of attention, both because JO’s communication was being very active and successful and also thanks to fanmade organizations like JokerOutSubs, group chats, old time Slovenian fans sharing juicy pre-ESC content, etc. I'll be grateful forever

We had a past year that could be divided into 2 halves in terms of communication: it all went extremely well until more or less the end of 2023 (last tour dates in Spain) and then started gradually becoming very odd and chaotic all through 2024 until last month’s complete draught

We know that they mostly tend to manage their online presence on their own, so ofc during breaks and during very busy times is harder for them to find good content to share. They had also been very clear about needing time off their phones all through the London era and the album recording in Hamburg, so that didn’t come as a surprise for fans 🤷‍♀️

But having very sensible, personal reasons to quit/decrease social media presence has unfortunately no meaning in communication, where the laws are very simple: once you stop sharing, you stop existing

I don’t want to criticize their choices, because they are entitled to their privacy and offline time. I’m just pointing out that this very long, hiccup-y period probably could have been avoided with better management and with the presence of a smm/pre-planned sm communication 🙃

It also unfortunately happened concurrently to the new ESC season, which was bound to “organically” erode part of the fandom anyway, and to an EU tour that, although successful, has still highlighted a lazy/bad management and yet again a communication that made little to no sense at times (es. the whole campaign that subtly asked people to go to more than one concert, which clearly made fans with less financial and logistical possibilities feel ‘lacking’ and ‘inferior’) 🙄

In their defense, the tour was to establish a fanbase more than gaining more fans and exposure, so pushing for getting more of a loyal than an occasional fanbase wasn’t completely wrong an idea… it just backfired

And it did because the greatest part of their international fanbase is made of very young people who aren’t financially independent and whose interests are bound to be fleeting and shifting ESPECIALLY when they aren’t constantly met with content production/consumption

Let’s also not forget that having completely shifted their attention to international waters at the expense of the Slovenian/regional fanbase has been very risky. We still can’t tell if the gamble was successful or not

It’s never a good idea to ignore/neglect your hardcore supporters, the very people that helped you raise to your current standards. it’s true they are the most loyal, but they are also very easily the ones that could feel more betrayed

I also think it’s very risky trying to shift the fans’ content consumption out of social media and into a (controlled, easier to manage, ofc) site like Openstage for two main reasons: as said before, complete disappearance from socials means communicational suicide and until now, the “dedicated content” directed toward fans on the site has been… too bland and generic (sorry)(they can learn how to improve that)

Openstage has other very interesting uses tho, firstly the early access to ticket sales and secondly the tracking of international fan presence, which was pretty clearly the main goal and reason why they opened the site in the first place... so it’s not ex ante a bad communication choice, just (until now) one that has yet to show its potential and usefulness

So what now? I think it’s time they make a few considerations and sensible choices to maintain what’s currently the status quo and in order to tackle festival season in the best way

They need to keep their international presence by opening their fanbase to a new kind of fans: festivals bring exposure to bands from a very specific type of fanbase, more interested in music than in contents. If they manage to capture the interest of Sziget people, for example, they could gather a new type of international fanbase less interested in the “social media” content consumption and more in the “I wanna see these guys play again, somewhere else, maybe a show of their own” way

(which, to be completely fair, could be the best choice to cure their current crazy/shifting/confusing fanbase state, giving them more peace of mind, more privacy and a more “normal” rock band experience than the one they had in the past year… that we can all agree has been pretty bad at times)

I personally think this summer season must go in the quantity direction (gaining more new fans) and at the same time in the quality direction (less shows, bigger stages) and this is why some of you are disappointed in seeing so little shows compared to last year or to the SYS tour... I get it

Many of us, me included, won’t be seeing JO live for the whole summer season, and I’m aware that is disappointing, but I hope this analysis has helped you put things into perspective and consider maybe one of the possible reasons why this next phase for Joker Out is being organized this way

I’m still hoping they’ll find a good compromise with their social media communication, because right now I really feel that being the main issue with the gradual but constant drop in traction (please boys hire a smm. i adore jan’s sad edits and the unhinged video and stories like the next person but serious work has to be done too)

Ending the rant on a note of hope: I wish to see you all enjoy the summer and the content to come and I hope for the boys to have a successful, fun season full of new experiences, new music, new people, fresh ideas for the future. I’m honestly very excited for what’s to come! 🌻

[angelasscribbles]

Dreams: A Bad Romance One-Shot

Series: Bad Romance Continues

Original Series: Bad Romance

Fandom: The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir

Pairings for series: Riley x Liam x Max, Riley x Drake, Riley x Rashad

Pairing for this chapter: Riley x Max

Rating: Fluffy

Warnings for this chapter: fluffiness

Word Count:  930

A/N: Well, I know that I have about a million asks in my inbox that have been waiting forever, but @twinkleallnight sent me this image and I had an idea, so I wrote it. It skipped the line. I initially thought Riley x Drake when I saw it, but no, that's not what happened once my brain started spinning.

My other stuff: Master List.

Max backed out of the walk-in freezer at Ramsford with several containers of ice cream. He lined them up on the counter so Riley could see what he’d found. “Look! There’s chocolate chip cookie dough!”

“Yum!” Riley sat two bowls on the counter in front of the hot fudge and maraschino cherries she had pilfered from the refrigerator. “What about sprinkles?”

“Uhh…pantry! Be right back!” Max darted into the pantry as Riley started digging around in the drawers for an ice cream scooper.

“Hey, Max. What’s this?”

“What’s what?” he asked as he returned with four containers of different types of sprinkles.

Riley stood from where she’d been bent over rummaging through some bottom drawers and held up a small, ceramic figurine of a bride and groom.

Max’s eyes went wide for a moment as he stammered, “Oh that…that’s nothing.” He practically sprinted across the room to swipe it out of her hands.

She deftly moved her hand out of his reach, thwarting his attempt to take it from her. “This doesn’t look like something Sav and Bert would have had on their cake.”

A rosy flush spread across his cheeks as Max admitted, “It’s mine. I bought it.”

Riley looked at him in surprise. “When?”

“During Liam’s social season. Not long after you got here. When you and I were first together. You know, before you dumped me.”

“Ah, Maxey…” Riley moved closer to him and ran a hand through his hair. “Is this supposed to be me and you?”

The flush deepened. “Yeah. I know it’s silly.”

“It’s not.” She assured him. “I think it’s sweet. But we weren’t together that long the first time. Did you really want to marry me?”

He reached for the figurine again, and this time she let him take it. He stared down at it for a moment, then returned his gaze to her face. “It was long enough for me to know what I wanted.”

“Wait.” A sudden thought startled her. “Do you regret that you and I didn’t get a wedding?”

“What? No!” He shook his head vehemently. “I’m beyond happy at the way things worked out. I ended up with you and Liam!”

“I know. But did you want a ceremony?”

He shrugged. “We had the collaring ceremony. That was enough for me.”

“Hmmm.” Riley regarded him as she tapped a finger on her lips.

“What?”

A slow smile spread across her face. “I have an idea!”

Two days later, Riley stood in the middle of the east lawn at Ramsford, peacocks running everywhere, beaming at Max as he danced down the aisle.

Bertrand leaned over and whispered to Savannah, “Why are we encouraging this again?”

“Hush!” She playfully slapped his shoulder. “We’re supporting them!”

“This isn’t legal. She’s already married.”

Savannah cast a glance at the altar where Liam also waited. “Max didn’t tell you? He’s marrying them both.”

Bertrand shook his head. He did not understand their relationship at all. “But…. why? It’s a farce!”

“It makes them happy. Isn’t that enough?”

“Since when did you become a Riley fan? I remember when you hated her!”

“Things change,” Savannah said serenely as she watched her brother shooing peacocks away from the officiant, which happened to be Lady Hana Lee. She’d gotten ordained online as a pagan priestess. There were no other guests.

Savannah and Bertrand had bonded over Bartie’s illness and their marriage was finally on the proper track. The new life growing inside her was proof of that. Still. She wasn’t sure she could trust him with the knowledge that Riley had been instrumental in bringing her sister’s killer to his end. But she had. And knowing that had changed her feelings toward the American.

That didn’t mean that she didn’t still have the occasional pang of jealousy over Max’s utter devotion to the woman. But since she was trying to make her marriage with his brother work, she was learning to let it go.

Besides, she wasn’t about to give up being a duchess.

Riley was dressed in a simple white sheath dress, her feet bare, wildflowers woven in her hair.

Other than the flock of peacocks, which Max had told her was also called an ostentation, there was nothing elaborate or extravagant about the ceremony. It was a simple, pagan handfasting ceremony. Unofficial and not legally binding, but symbolic and deeply meaningful to the throuple.

After the ceremony was over, he scooped her into his arms and posed for a photo as Riley leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. Just like the figurine that was now perched atop a towering peacock themed cake.

The three of them took turns feeding each other the sweet confection, Liam’s fingers lingering in Max’s mouth as he leaned over and whispered, “When we’re done here, I’m carrying you over the threshold.”

Butterflies exploded through Max’s chest at the implication. “Best day ever!” He murmured as he turned and pulled the figurine from the top of the cake, wrapping it carefully and setting it to the side to ensure it didn’t get damaged.

The delicate statuette that he had once stashed away in a bottom drawer in the kitchen when looking at it taunted him with what could have been had, in the end, brought him the ending he had dreamed of when he’d purchased it.

He had just married both the loves of his life. When he had dreamed of a wedding with Riley, he’d had no inkling what Liam would become to him.

He had gotten everything he ever wanted. That, and so much more.

[spectrumspace]

the Thing about Mid-2010s Ace Discourse that gets me is that even if you weren't really someone who kept their pulse on the latest news in the lgbt+ community or queer theory or whatever, it'd still make its way onto your dash in a more subtle way as "cringe"

like i think a lot of funny posts at the time being made by the Big Guys were like "34yo 'fandom moms' about to doxx a preteen for not shipping rey-lo" followed by an image of peter griffin photoshopped to have dyed hair, piercings, heavy makeup, and a shirt in the ace flag colors using a laptop with fandom stickers on it. like very much a "gay people i do not respect" strawman but with the label scribbled out and a new one slapped on. and no one really read into it critically

and if someone did actually go "hey what does asexuality have to do with it" they were put on blast by op and their friends for "reading too much into it" and the post would immediately devolve into bullying whoever decided to speak out -- often someone very young and/or with trouble picking up on social cues -- until they wrote up a long emotional thesis trying to stand their ground where inevitably they said something wrong and op got to say something like "ummmm 😳 did you just say lesbianism is aphobic??? 😂" and everyone would reblog the whole miles-long thread going "LMAOOO CRINGE" with the subtle insinuation that All Ace People Are Like This.

like i never saw anyone share around straight up Discourse™ discourse on my dash specifically, even if i knew it was out there/saw it in the wild outside my personal bubble sometimes, but this kinda stuff was Everywhere thanks to the rise of "cringe culture", and i think that was more fundamentally damaging than any 10k word google doc essay with sources trying to make an "intelligent point" for ace exclusion

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight November 2024

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family and a little info about them!

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

Sunny - she/her, Brazil, @pinkysunny

Other SM names? - janepalette on Twitter

OTP? - I guess i don't have one i like everything , but my favorite character is Sam

Other fandoms? - I love kpop! Specially nct dream and le sserafim

Looking for in the Pond? - I would like to share my pen soon and read new things

Pairings you read? - I like destiel and everthing about Sam ^^

What do you like to write? - I like to write fanfics about romance and what if scenarios

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I would like to try a lot of things! I guess chat with others authors would help

Nyx or Nyxocity - she/her, East Coast US, @nyxocity

Other SM names? - Nyxocity on AO3, Discord, and everywhere else

OTP? - Wincest

Other fandoms? - Dragon Age, Baldur's Gate 3

Looking for in the Pond? - Here for prompts, exchanges, bouncing ideas, and for answering questions other may have, may also ask questions on occasion

Pairings you read? - Ships, poly

Genres you read? - Depends on my mood, angst, fluff, smut, crack, comedy, drama, au's, soulmates, romance, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, pretty much everything except omegaverse

Favorite writer(s)? - It's impossible for me to pick just one

What do you like to write? - Romance, smut, angst, drama, comedy, soulmates, I run the gamut

Most underappreciated fic? - We'll Forget the Sun in His Jealous Sky

J or Jay - they/he, East Coast US, @jwritestuff

Other SM names? - jwritestuff on AO3, june3bug on Discord

Other fandoms? - criminal minds, heartstopper

Looking for in the Pond? - friends who also write and ppl who like spn!!

Pairings you read? - love love love reader!winchester !! anything platonic i like

Genres you read? - fluff! found family/sibling stuff

What do you like to write? - where the reader is the youngest winchester!!

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - i am whole when i'm with you

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - writing in povs that arent first person

Laila - she/her, Egypt, @rubyvhs

Other SM names? - Rubyvhs on AO3, Rue_278 on Discord

Other fandoms? - WALKERRRR (it’s just so under appreciated, i’ve been waiting for this question since I first knew that it existed)

Looking for in the Pond? - To be more involved in the fandom since when I first started a few months ago I thought I’d be more reserved and literally never talk on my blog just post writings but people are really nice and I want to improve my writing, the only way I see I can do that is by reading other really great authors and their advice as well as asking questions, things like that.

Pairings you read? - On tumblr mostly reader insert and they’re what I write too and I loveeee poly. Love Sam and dean and basically all spn girls (Jo and Ruby my wives).

Genres you read? - All of them but my fav is angst and I don’t have specific tropes, I like misunderstandings and anything leading to angst or hurt/comfort.

Favorite writer(s)? - @runawaydr3amerao3, @zepskies, & @sammyluvr

What do you like to write? - x reader but I want to write characters too like samcas and deanjo but so far just x reader + I wrote one wincest fic (not finished)

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Fade Into You

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - plot heavy fics. I’m so jealous of anyone who can sit down and come up with a plot. I like remedy (one of my works) but it came after months, I’m not sure it’s even plot heavy, it’s mostly the same point, but I want my writing to be more complex and moving.

Annie - she/her, East Coast US, @copperboom82

Other SM names? - copperboom82 on AO3 and Discord

Other fandoms? - Harry Potter

Looking for in the Pond? - I'm mostly just looking to connect with people and other writers/readers from the fandom. I'm very shy, but have recently been pushing out of my shell a little bit, and have been enjoying it. I love writing but am very new to posting it and really only have crossover pieces posted so far, but I'd like/plan to delve more into writing just SPN fanfic. I also struggle a lot with the actual sharing of my work if that makes sense - like I struggle to come up with summaries/teasers without spoiling the story, I stress a lot about properly identifying trigger warnings bc I don't know if there might be something I don't think is triggering but someone else does, I'm never quite sure how to properly tag things, etc. Tumblr is still somewhat of a mystery to me as well, but I'm trying!

Pairings you read? - Dean x OFC are my favorite to read, but I've come to enjoy Dean x female reader

What do you like to write? - I tend to enjoy writing things with some sort of romantic pairing/plot involved

Masterlist!

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I'm interested in doing more one-shots and possibly reader inserts. I find the reader inserts to be a little intimidating to write, but I'm trying to branch out

Kiki - she/her, Italy @kikiatthemirror

Other SM names? - KikiAtTheMirror on AO3, Kiki1982 on Discord, and kikiatthemirror on Bluesky

OTP? - Destiel

Looking for in the Pond? - I would need a beta reader for a one shot

Genres you read? - Genres: almost all of them Tropes: Two person love triangle / friends to lovers / omegaverse

What do you like to write? - I'm very moody in my writing. The only certainty is that they have a happy ending, or at least a hopeful ending.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Angel Protocol

Agent - she/her, Europe (UTC+1), @walkingaline

Other SM names? -AgentPatheticHasBeenRockstar on AO3, agentpathetic on Discord

Other fandoms? - Star Wars and the Pedro Pascal one

Looking for in the Pond? - I'm looking for fellow writers, artists to work with and a little more feedback on my works. I was a pro editor and I'd be happy to give my (exclusively solicited) support to new writers.

Something to signal boost? - I run the @crowleybigbang (and all surrounding events).

Pairings you read? - I like gen fics, reader inserts, OCs. I'm still a Crowley minion, but I also like to give love to "minor" characters: Donna, Eileen, Garth, Rufus, Balthazar, etc.

Genres you read? - "My favourite varies a lot on my mood, but I'm hard to please when it comes to crack. I love hurt/comfort, second chances, enemies to lovers, slow burns… wait, I think all of these have angst in them. Ops, I guess?"

Favorite writer(s)? - I love @risingphoenix761 (same on Tumblr and AO3), Limbel (AO3) and used to love Demonologistindenim (same on Tumblr and AO3) but he's no longer active.

What do you like to write? - I mostly write to give Crowley the love he deserves, although sometimes I accidentally put him in the blender. Case fics and fluffy slices of life are also fun, and I love to somehow work some research in most of my stuff.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - I write for Crowley, a little smut and my works are "registered users only", pick one 🤣Anything from this series, probably. Damnation, Thievery And Everything

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I have several works in mind and lots of WIPs I keep leaving aside. I don't know if it can be fixed, but I suppose accountability might help?

Russo - they/them, Australia, @shadowbender19

Other SM names? - rusea_rusco on AO3, shadowbender on Discord

OTP? - Sabriel or Midam

Other fandoms? - Critical Role, Pokemon

Looking for in the Pond? - Community and online friends

Pairings you read? - Willing to try reading any character ships lol

Genres you read? - Hurt/comfort, Dead dove,

Favorite writer(s)? - Currently in love with Leata on AO3/ @leatafandom on Tumblr

What do you like to write? - AUs with lore and grief counseling

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - The Aquarian Star

Spade - she/they, US (MST), @spades-angel

Other SM names? - spades_angel on AO3, spades.angel on Discord

OTP? - Destiel

Looking for in the Pond? - i'm looking for more mutuals, a writing partner, people to collaborate for fics with and just community! and how to use tumblr better. i've been off and on tumblr for a few years so i know a few things, but i want to be more involved

Pairings you read? - ships and sometimes poly, but really only if its Gabriel/Castiel/Dean

Genres you read? - smut, angst, and hurt/comfort

What do you like to write? - i like to write a lot, and am all over the place. I really like to base my stuff off songs and lyrics mostly.

Masterlist!

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - i'm terrible at one-shots. i have a lot of ideas for epic multi-chapter ones, but drabbles and one-shots need work. i'm not sure how y'all can help lol. i don't really write that much because my ideas are a lot more in depth and "better" than my writing is. so i end up getting frustrated with my writing, because i'm not patient. i think writing one-shots and drabbles will help get my writing better so i can execute the longer works that i want to

Morgan (Rakinzna) - panth/panther, East Coast US, @panthera-dei

Other SM names? - Rakizna on AO3 and Discord

Other fandoms? - Psych & Wings of Fire. I've written for Knight Rider and MacGyver as well, although I'm not as active anymore.

Looking for in the Pond? - I'd love to make connections with other writers, and maybe pick up a few new tricks!

Something to signal boost? - Well, if I can get past the holidays, I'm beginning to curate the second issue of a Psych digital fanzine with some writers & artists from the Psychfic server on Discord. We could always use more contributors if anyone is interested.

Pairings you read? - I usually read gen fics. I'll read any type of pairing, it's just that I'm extremely picky about shippy fics.

Genres you read? - Fluff, mystery, adventure. I'm a sucker for a well-executed slow burn as well as enemies to friends/lovers.

Favorite writer(s)? - AgentPatheticHasBeenRockstar on AO3 (@walkingaline)

What do you like to write? - Mostly adventure, although I'm guilty of writing fluff, crossovers, and coffee shop AUs on occasion.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - The Demon and the Derby

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I'd really love to write more original fiction someday. It just happens that I'm very bad at it. I can't seem to think of solid plots. ....or characters that I actually like writing about.

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @heavenssexiestangel, and @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes!

[reverseblackholeofwords]

Hi, just wanted to remind you that I still love all the ego stuff you wrote. I was a big lurker during the time you actively wrote it but dude it was so fucking good.

When I think about the egos, I mostly think about your stuff bc it made the characters come to life. It was so good. I can’t say it enough.

The stuff I’m pulling from memory rn is Anti’s time in The Forgotten. Like my bro, my dude, my homie. That shit pulled at my heart. The fact that he was only gone for like a day or smt in our dimension but he had actually been gone for like 10 years in that dimension experiencing horrors unknown. AND NOBEDY KNEW???? Good shit.

The relationship between the Host and dr. Iplier. Still one of my fav bromances. Like the trust between them and how it was made through hardships. It came to a point where Host even trusted Doc with his name??? Which gave him power over Host, something he was so afraid of. Doc made him a better man. Stopped him from being too cruel. But than he had to forget it bc he went insane. BUT BECAUSE HOST IS AN ASS, HE MADE DOC AND ANTI FORGET EVERYTHING. My guy, that’s your platonic husband and adopted son. Yes I was screaming about that. That still gets me going.

There is so much other stuff too though. Like Anti and Doc becoming family. The egos all getting closer. Phantom being an absolute menace every time he appeared. The Googles becoming more and more human over time.

You introduced me to Wiggles. Didn’t know anything about PJ before I started reading your works.

What it all boils down to, is me wanting to thank you. I don’t know how you look back on those ego stories but it got me through some dark times. You updating it always made my day better. I still carry a piece of it with me everywhere I go and has also inspired me a lot. So thank you!

Oh man, thank you so much for taking time to send this! It's honestly insanely encouraging to hear those stories stuck with you. I still love them a lot myself, cringe or no, because they're such a fun time capsule of that period in my life, and this blog and all the people who followed it (lurkers and all) also helped me get through college in one piece.

Gosh I did put Anti through so much, but in my defense, it was for character development! He and Ollie were always one of my favorite dynamics to write, personally. I mean, the computer glitch demon and the sentient android with a heart of gold? I still haven't made up something that good since. Also the Mare and Phantom dynamic, which they were always managing to screw up somehow. Unhealthy sibling dynamics are the best.

It's also insane that so much of the Host stuck with you because he was always my favorite to write and the one that felt the most like mine at the end of the day. The fact that Mark announced he'd retired him as a character and we all collectively agreed to kidnap him and give him a story is still one of this fandom's shining moments in my mind. In fact, I've kinda snagged Host for different original stories I'm writing now just because I miss writing him so much. I've also kept The Forgotten as a concept, which is definitely getting used in a setting I'm working on now because the angst potential is indeed too good to deny.

Also, while we're strolling down memory lane, what one writer gets to wipe their entire canon midway through and start over again in an alternate timeline whilst using references to the previous timeline to terrorize their readers? Ending one timeline of the blog to begin another was a wild but fascinating experiment on my part to see how I could use it to play with foreshadowing and all that jazz. Plus nothing will ever quite beat letting the audience reach into the narrative and start making their own waves from time to time.

But even though I do mostly original stories now, I'm still loving writing found families and platonic soulmates and maybe the redeeming of one or two villains, so I appreciate all the practice and the feedback I got from these stories! I'll probably keep sneaking Ego references into my stories forever. I'd also be curious to know which story arcs stuck with other people??

[sassysnowperson]

Why am I not writing anymore?

I've been kicking this one around inside my head and have decided to share here. See if it helps me get it out of the incoherent jumble in my head and into some orderly thoughts.

Burnout?

This was why I stopped writing. I should have stopped writing at the pace I was probably about a year earlier, but I really wanted to hit a million words on AO3. I did! I'm glad I hit the goal, but oof, I felt it. But I don't think that's what's happening right now. I've had time to recover, work got a lot less stressful when I changed jobs, I'm happier. I'm not exhausted when I think about writing anymore. But I'm not doing it.

Well, wait, AM I not doing it?

I do have a couple people I chat with about fandom things. It's not writing for an audience, but it is creative. That's where I figured the energy was going. But interestingly, I started doing word count on my therapy notes, out of curiosity. Yeah, I'm writing at least 2k a week at work. It's not creative writing (but it is narrative writing) and its THE EXACT OPPOSITE of for a public audience, but it is burning similar energy in terms of sit down at computer and type time.

But is that really a bad thing?

Maybe not! I think the time at the desk is bad, but I don't have to write at my desk. Laptops enable gremlin writing everywhere. And maybe it's easier to write when I'm already in the habit of writing.

Really?

Maybe? I'm not pivoting from notes to fun writing, so the momentum isn't quite there. But I gotta admit, word counting the therapy notes did wake something up inside me.

Word counting? Seriously? What about The Story That Needs To Be Told? Creativity?? Having something to say?

Wow, inner voice, you got judgy real fast there. I think...I think you're part of the problem. Aside from like, three fics out of that million words I wrote, I never started knowing the complete story. I have a rough idea of what I want to say, or a dynamic I want to explore, and then I find the rest as I go. So if I'm waiting for The Story That Needs to be Told, I'm probably not gonna write again. I think I need to fall back in love with the process.

You wrote a million words in four years. What was the process that worked then, and why isn't it working now?

Well, part of it was the wordcount. Not making words for words sake, but having a solid metric to point to in terms of progress. I have ADHD, and the fact is if I want to do something, I need to make it fun and measurable. Tracking wordcount is both. But it wasn't just wordcount. It was also talking with people about things, gift giving, writing hangout time, and other people's excitement motivating me. I don't have that consistently right now. I have people that have made it clear they'll cheer me on (♥️), but I don't have it as a habit, as a part of my regular day to day life.

Why not?

Well, I stopped writing. That's kinda a big one. But also...writing took up a lot of time. I stopped watching new media, basically. I wrote the most while I was in a reading slump. I'm not comfortable with this idea, but I think I need to wrestle with the idea that I focus on one thing at a time. I don't know if I can watch all the Dimension 20 seasons and write like I did. I don't know if I can have a good reading life and a good writing life. That makes me sad. I don't want it to be true.

But is it? Sometimes sad things are true.

Too right, inner voice. And I don't know! I think I can safely say that without intentionality, I will tend to do 1-2 leisure activities at a time. But I now that I'm thinking about it, I suspect the trouble is in task switching, not the task itself. If I make a goal to task switch, maybe I'll be more able to.

And set more reasonable goals. You probably can't write 250k words a year and do other stuff.

Yeah, probably not. Maybe I should set a wordcount maximum, to make sure I do other stuff too.

But do you *want* to write? Do you miss it?

...yes?

Oh man I hoped I'd be more confident in answering that. Do I want to write, or do I miss being A Person That Writes?

Well, we already established you are actually writing a lot right now. So maybe let's phrase it as: Do you want to tell stories to a wider audience?

...Yeah. Yeah I do! I miss that! I miss being a storyteller.

So either you find some other way to tell stories...

Like framing my self-analysis as a conversation?

Maybe this whole method should have tipped you off sooner, yeah.

Good point. On both counts. Either I start a podcast or a twitch stream or something, or I go back to the way I'm most comfortable telling stories.

Writing.

Yep.

So what are you going to write about?

I don't know, inner voice! But waiting on that to be clear hasn't worked. Think I just need to start somewhere. But it's good to know I want to start.

[foxes-that-run]

Boyfriends

A self aware take on Boyfriends, including Harry and boyfriends of those he cares for. The lyric video features a lone swan, a symbol of commitment. Harry was with a swan in every image for his May 20 2019 Gucci Campaign, released the week Boyfriends was first written. Harry and Taylor were pictured with a Swan on her birthday when they went to The Lakes. Harry who has spoken about the song with pride and deference. Let's start with the gorgeous first take:

Harry said to Zane Lowe it was written at the end of Fine Line:

"There was an extra week where we wrote some stuff, wrote Adore you, TPWK and we were recording Lights Up. [...] At the end of that session everyone left and I started writing Boyfriends and it almost felt like OK there is a version where we get this ready to put on this album, and I think there was something about it where it felt like it's going to have it's time. [...] I am learning so much by saying it [...] It is both acknowledging my own behaviour, looking at behaviour I have witnessed and looking at I grew up with a sister, so it's like watching her date people and watching friends date people and you know people don't treat each other nicely sometimes. And it turned out about boyfriends because I started paying it and saying boyfriends. [...]Just say what you think of boyfriends.

Harry was in the studio from 15 May 2019, the Swan Gucci Campaign was released on he and Taylors anniversary that week. It was also 2 weeks after Me! Was released. When speaking about Boyfriends Harry constantly mentions these other songs. They have a common theme about the impact of the behaviour of others on his relationships and self, true his nature it is subtle and gentle:

Adore you's video asks fans to respect the partner(s) of his choosing, in contrast to fan reaction who he dates.

TPWK, as the title says, Harry told Rolling Stone " It made me uncomfortable at first, [...] I feel like that song opened something that’s been in my core.”

Lights Up - to Rolling Stone Harry spoke about stepping out from 1D on his own, the lyrics of "I'm not ever going back" and "All the lights couldn't put out the dark running through my heart", link the experience of the band and fandom to mental health and knowing who he is, rather than who others want him to be.

To me, coming at the end of that session adds to Harry taking ownership his role in failed relationships in that time by being unaware of the impact his 1D persona. fan treatment of his partner(s) and emotional unavailability. Taylor has also described her anxiety dating him in Slut! and Gold Rush. However, as Harry said, it is not limited to himself. On its release at Coachella, (3 years after it was written) "To Boyfriends Everywhere, F*** you". This was weeks after Taylor wrote You're Losing Me about Joe. His face to the end of this is everything:

Setlist and Tracklisting

Harry placed Boyfriends on HH between Satellite and LOML. Harry stopped playing Boyfriends after November 15 2022, when he played it live with Ben Harper at the end of the L.A. Forum residency. It was only played once in 2023, at Wembley June 16. The next night was the only time he played Sweet Creature since 2018. When it was on the setlist it proceeded LOML or Lights Up.

Ben Harper

To Variety Ben Harper said: "It was a wonderful recording session — one of the most memorable and most musical I’ve ever been a part of. [...] Harry invited me to stick around because he wanted to finish the song right then and there. To get to watch Harry in his process was eye-opening, and I learned a lot. [...] Yeah, I mean, he orchestrated the vocal harmonies like a classical composer, spot on, note for note. He just stacked them perfectly in pitch, one better than the next, and it was really eye-opening to see somebody step on the mic and have the parts orchestrated in his head. I’ve never seen anything like it actually."

Lyrics

Hoo Niaga ti ta kcab er'uoy, loof Boyfriends They think you're so easy They take you for granted They don't know they're just misunderstanding you You, you're back at it again

The opening is Backwards 'Ooh Fool, you’re back at it again'. Sunflower Vol 6 also opens with 'Sunflower' backwards. I think of this as about a backwards life, success followed by a normal life.

The first verse describes how boyfriends take their partner for granted and misunderstand.

Weakened When you get deep in He starts secretly drinking It gets hard to know what he's thinking You love a fool who knows just how to get under your skin You, you, you still open the door

The second verse describes where partner has met their guard down some boyfriends withdraw, and start drinking. Harry has sung of this before in Half the world away “I’ve started drinking”. Harry has mentioned drinking in other songs, but HTWA has a similar meaning, of drinking in secret to cope.

Harry touches on common themes in his discography:

Not communicating, similar to MMIH “we don’t talk about it”

Not getting over this person - Getting under you skin is a reference to Taylor’s The Lakes: “What should be over burrowed under my skin in heart-stopping waves of hurt” and IWYW “You always knew how to push my buttons”

Doors - here Harry's muse is opening the door, Harry has 7 songs that refer to knocking, opening or not opening doors. Taylor also has 13 songs about Harry and doors.

You're no closer to him Now you're halfway home Only calling you when Don't wanna be alone Oh, and you go Why? You don't know

While the first 2 verses the Boyfriend was uncommunicative, emotionally unavailable and didn't consider their partner. In the third verse the boyfriend and partner are learning from failed relationships, but still no closer. Now the boyfriend is only calling when they want company, rather than to be there for their partner.

Halfway home: The X Account 'I am Halfway Home' was started to promote HH. The term could have several meanings:

a Halfway house is a place to reintegrate into society from an institution.

The song is a play on words of having no more emotional closeness despite being physically halfway home, and

Halfway home is the name of a documentary about the toll war takes on veterans and their families.

Home is an important theme to Harry's work, Home meaning being with the right person rather than a physical place. To me, this lyric is Harry is saying that despite his growth since leaving the band and break down of this relationship they are still not emotionally closer.

Boyfriends Are they just pretending? They don't tell you where it's heading And you know the game's never ending You, you lay with him as you stay in the daydream You feel a fool You're back at it again

The closing of the song is a sense that the boyfriend is being a player, not communicating.

But Harry's muse gives in, wanting to stay in a dream. Slut! has a similar idea of choosing to stay in a love haze when you know it's not going to last "Got lovestruck, went straight to my head / Got lovesick, all over my bed / Love to think you'll never forget / Handprints in wet cement". Harry also says this in Daydreaming: "Livin' in a daydream"

Harry and Taylor have both used 'fool' in reference to their relationship before (in Fools Gold, Cardigan, Illicit Affairs, Joker and the Queen and in Long Pond Taylor said it 7 times about James in Betty.)

Finally, it refers to the cyclical nature of their relationship with 'back at it again' as OOTW 'built to fall apart and back together' and Style "when we go crashing down we come back every time' and many other songs.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/757095427492478976/ok-serious-question-western-media-why-are-people

My experience has been that in fandoms where the most popular character in fanfic is a POC and the most popular ship involves them, people can’t just celebrate. Instead, it’s discourse about how everyone is doing it wrong, shipping the POC with a white character or even a fantasy race or alien is not as progressive as shipping them with this other POC (or vice versa) (almost always what is going on is the first, more popular ship is text or heavy subtext and have a lot of chemistry and the less popular, supposedly more “progressive” option is two people who either never interact, or their interactions don’t have any of that kind of chemistry). And not that there is not any reason to complain about how people not from that culture write POC or non Western characters — I’ve seen some wild shit, 101 examples of orientalism and noble savage shit in fandom, for sure — but when these people make it so NOTHING is good enough, I have to wonder if fandom racism is something they WANT to find in every fandom. Like people did what you wanted, wrote stuff on the character of color! And yet rather than enjoy it you’re still looking for things that are somehow insidious about it… is it a lack of trust based on bad experiences in prev fandoms + confirmation bias, or just being unpleasable?

--

All of the above. This pattern is everywhere, and it is obnoxious as hell... but I also know what it feels like to have higher—perhaps unreasonably high—standards for things that hit close to home.

[kiwiana-writes]

For the fandom positivity thread:

The friends and the sheer amount of talent!!

I'm very very new to fandom and RWRB is my first. Getting to make ACTUAL friends that I talk to every day is so unbelievably cool and special to me. A few months ago, I had been talking to a non-fandom friend about how difficult it is is to make friends now as an adult because I'm not in an institutionalised space (school, uni, office) anymore. So I have to find friends in the wild. Then I fell into fandom and immediately found so much love and kindness. And all I really needed to do was hyperfixate and be myself.

And the reason I fell into fandom was because it's filled with incredibly talented humans and so many universes for my favourite characters. The possibilities are endless! And through the fic I read, art/ gifsets I see I find so much joy, support, and acceptance. It's truly unlike anything I've ever felt.

As for one of the things I enjoy about this fandom in particular? It's you and your fics! I have read ALL of your fics— some multiple times— and cannot shut up how much I adore them in your comments. Your fics bring me a lot of happiness and positivity, my friend!

I'm sorry I wrote you a whole essay T_T

I'm sorry you've been surrounded by so much negativity, that's sounds exhausting af. I hope my yapping helps you a tiny bit somehow!

Sending you lots of love, friend! 💛

I LOVE AN ESSAY. There really is so much to be said for fandom as a space where you don't have to pretend to be chill and unaffected haha, and where you get to find a bunch of people who are Extremely Fucking Invested in the same thing you are Extremely Fucking Invested in!

Also I'm gonna CRY that's so NICE.

(And to be super clear, what has me down at the mo is mostly Non Fandom Stuff, it's just making me more sensitive than usual to negativity and complaining everywhere in my life lmao. I'm tiiiiiiiiiiiiiired I need JOY.)

[tell me what you LOVE about fandom]

[tagedeszorns]

Coming to terms with stuff

The first thing I come to terms with is that Tumblr has somehow blacklisted me. I've been told that you can't find my posts (unless someone who follows me has reblogged them) and that you can only see my blog if you follow me. Interesting. I guess it has to do with the fact that I post Mature Content. And that I apparently use tags deemed problematic by Tumblr. Which means I don't really need to be surprised that I get virtually no interaction anymore if no one (or very few) reblog my pictures. Because apparently I only exist on a very limited scale now. Well, there's nothing I can do about that. Then that's just the way it is.

That's reassuring in a way, because it means that I'm not suddenly drawing so crappy that nobody cares anymore, but that I'm just not drawing well enough for enough people to reblog it and thus avoid the shadowban.

It's still a major dickmove by Tumblr - but until the anti-sexuality climate in America changes for the better again, there's nothing I can do about it.

The second thing I'm trying to come to terms with now is that Warhammer fandom seems to be moving away from Tumblr. My feed is getting emptier. I see fewer amusing rants, fewer completely weird headcanons, hardly any "hey, I wrote a fanfic, check it out!" posts, and far fewer new pictures from fanartists.

Or, who knows - maybe all these other content creators are shadowbanned like me? Maybe Tumblr has muted them too?

I guess it's like everywhere else: fandom is moving to Discord. And that's where I can't follow.

For me, Discord is a sensory overload of a thousand messages that I can't cope with. It first confuses me, then exhausts me and finally makes me aggressive. It's just too much. It's like standing in a central station at rush hour and not having headphones to block it all out. So now I am excluded from this new medium that unites so many fans.

I'm not asking for it to go back to "the way it used to be". I just have to come to terms with the fact that I'm not really in fandom any more, even though I'd like to be. I'm waving from outside and hoping for reports from friends who still catch things.

And the last thing I want to come to terms with is that the things I particularly love and find interesting in the Warhammer universe are not shared by many others. No matter how often and enthusiastically I hold up my Blorbos and shower them with glitter - they are and remain uninteresting to the majority of other fans. Fulgrim is the most likely to be Flavour of the Month, but I'm more interested in his Legion than in him, even though I love his tragic, dramatic and monstrous aspects (and even those are things that meet with very few other fans' approval).

I am happy that I have found friends whom I can bombard with my ideas and images. And from whom I get their ideas and works in return. That's great and fun.

But still … it's like we say in Germany: Früher war mehr Lametta! ("there used to be more tinsel.")

I want to make do with the little tinsel I have and be happy.

That is a little like Zen!

Accurate depiction of me drawing Lucius and Saul.

[sweetmariihs2]

Me randomly yapping about Toy Story and my process of restoring my Buzz Lightyear doll (I think I'm not very well)

(very ugly gif I made from my video. That's.... my actual doll. That's my hand. Hi 👋)

2 days ago me and my brother were trying to find something to watch and we found the first Toy Story movie in our Disney+. It was more like a "lmao let's watch it again?" but then I got done it simply took over my brain

I literally couldn't sleep tonight due to hyperfocus. It's 06:30 am, help help help help help

I have a tendency to like hyperfocuses from my childhood. I mean, my 2000's- 2010's childhood. No, really, almost every single thing I like are stuff I liked when I was five. My room is full of collected stuff from my childhood because now I'm for example part of the Monster High fandom, or Sofia The First fandom, or Barbie Movies, or Ever After High, Undertale, the list goes on. When I did that "let a bot analyze your Instagram" trend the bot literally said "you seem like you're stuck in the 2010's" AND WELL MAYBE I AM

I have a big history with Toy Story, really huge, I grew up with it. I think it's the first hyperfocus I remember having, I was obsessed (as a young girl, in case you didn't notice, just a detail). My favorite character was Woody, but honestly I knew all the characters' names and I watched the movies over and over again, especially 2 and 3. One day my dad traveled to São Paulo for work (I live in Brazil, São Paulo here would be the equivalent of New York in the USA), he said he was coming back a few days later, and my mom stayed home with me to take care of me. I watched movies on her old laptop, and watched Toy Story 3 several times. It was on one of those times that I was watching when my dad came home from his trip with a gift, without warning, just gave me a huge Woody doll (it was the size of a toddler). My mom said that she had never seen me so happy actually

I carried that Woody everywhere with me. My mom even said I tried to bring him to the shower cuz I simply just couldn't stay away from him for a minute. I think I really took the "toys are alive" thing seriously. Actually I always took very great care of my dolls and that's why I can put my MH/EAH dolls in display in my room, they're very well cared. And my Woody doll is here too, I just don't want to take pics rn because it's very late, my room is dark and I'm lazy to take him off the shelf (I wrote this at 05am). If you call him ugly I'll rip you off in pieces, don't treat my son like that (got these pics from the internet)

You know that trend where people say "you look like your childhood toy"? my childhood toy is this Woody here. Some people I know made jokes about him being ugly/scary etc but I'm not scared of him, he always treated me very well lmao. He's a very nice fella

Some years later I got a Buzz Lightyear doll, but I mean, the ACTUAL Buzz doll. From the movie I mean

I live in a small town in Brazil. There was a lady (an old lady I mean) who sold products imported from the USA here in my town. In general they were household items, at least most of them. My mom used to buy us (me and my brother) toys by surprise, like, went out to do something and suddently came home with gifts, and that lady sold north american toys for a very cheap price. I THINK they came from thrift stores, because they arrived in plastic bags and they were random most of the time, like, clearly second hand you know? My mom once showed up with a full bag of polly pocket sized pets and playsets, the bag had the size of a trash bag, like, really big actually. And we weren't rich. Recently, due to me restoring this Buzz doll I spoke to my mom and she said that the prices for those toys were around 20 brazillian reais. You know how much 20 reais would be in dollars? 4 dollars, or less, because were talking about the mid 2010's.

Well, I got that Buzz doll. Among other three action figures of Buzz, Woody and Jessie, but they were smaller, fully plastic and didn't had the same appeal as the movie ones... but still, I liked them when I was young. When you pulled Woody's string, his legs actually moved like he could walk (but he couldn't). Jessie I can't remember. And Buzz, I found out that the action figure I had of buzz is called "laser blast Buzz Lightyear", and that's him

But well, my Buzz doll! The actual movie doll! At the time I didn't minded a lot about Toy Story anymore, even though I still loved to play with my Barbies/MH/EAH, so this Buzz was my brother's, and my brother was a small child when he got it. We got him fully working, pratically new; he could talk when pushing the buttons in his chest, his wings opened when pressing the red button, his laser worked, his helmet did a funny gas noise when opened, even the panel in his wrist had a sound effect, the guy was an amazing toy, truly amazing, and barely used.

Well, my brother and I played with him so much that we didn't think much about his fragility. We took his wings off and put them back on frequently, pressed the buttons non-stop, and after playing he was just thrown back into the toy chest, so he kept getting scratched, got dirty with play dough, dust, broke his wing, broke his arm, and so on... at least we played with him for a very long time. My brother didn't played with him anymore and I got Buzz for me (I didn't stole it, the toy was ours, it just had my brother's title in it and he didn't played with it anymore lmao), that man dated so many Barbies I swear. Funny fact: sometimes I would make blanket forts and put toys with flashing lights inside them, organize the dolls inside, put on music and call it a party, and Buzz would always be there flirting with everyone lol

But yeah going back to the subject, we played with him so much that he broke. Actually I'm surprised by the fact that Andy didn't broke them by the third movie. Time has passed, I restored my Monster High dolls and went on with my childish interests, but Toy Story wasn't something I really cared about revisiting. We moved into a new house and my brother put most of his toys in our "mess room" (basement), and so did I, except for my barbies/barbie sized dolls that are in a toy chest (the MH/EAH are in a shelf). Somehow this Buzz doll appeared again and I decided to put him in my barbie toy chest because I thought "huh I could restore you later actually"

And that's when this week arived, after 4 years living in this house. I'm rewatching all the movies and shorts, because of nostalgia and because I remembered how good those movies were, and I finally decided to restore my Buzz Lightyear. I'm recording the whole process and I'll post it on my YouTube channel. Honestly, I don't think I'll be able to fix everything and make him brand new. For example, the laser arm was ripped off, and even if I find the missing piece, I think it'll be hard to get it working again, especially because I don't know how to maintain the electronic part of the toy and my father, who knows, certainly won't help me with that. Besides, his helmet is very worn and I think it'll be hard to get it back to its previous shine and transparency. And his wings? Not even in my dreams, they have problems opening, problems with the lights, they don't have their "protective cover" outside anymore and the wires are exposed, forget it. What I want to do is bring dignity to the doll and restore him in my way. This means that even if he won't work again, or if he doesn't appears in perfect, what matters most is the fact that it was fixed and is in better condition. I want to treat him well, that is.

The kind of "fixing" I'm talking about is not making him work again completely, but for example taking his broken arm and putting a bandage on it, so we can pretend he broke his arm and he's healing, you know? I'll repaint him, glue his parts back together and... put him somewhere in my room. In a shelf

I know you're probably curious about what Buzz this is, and after doing some research I found out: "Buzz Lightyear Blue Cloud Thinkway Toys from 2009"

Probably collectors reading this are having a heart attack? Maybe. I'm sorry for breaking a very nice item :/

799,00 dollars is a good amount of money! Thinking about the fact that my mom bought him for 2-3 bucks... when talking to my mom about the price for a new Buzz doll that is just like mine (bad word choice: I meant, "how much a new doll of this type costs today"), she said surprised: "and thinking that these toys were junk, no one wanted them to the point of ending up here where we are and for such a cheap price. No one wanted them!" Which I found quite an interesting observation. How did a second hand, perfect, no sign of use, every single interaction working, clean, brand new Buzz Lightyear ended up in a (supposed) thrift store???

This is my YouTube channel:

My videos are in portuguese so I would advise to add captions :/ I'm planning to make a video about this process and I hope I will (if my depression allows me)

I'm currently pretty much hyperfocused in this again, but I think it will be for a short amount of time. I don't love my other interests less. Buzz is now my favorite Toy Story character btw, sorry Woody. Ummm I kinda unburied from memory that Buzz had a TV show and I took a small look at the pilot but didn't watched it yet (it didn't caught much my attention but maybe I'm judging the book by it's cover). I saw that this cartoon has a fandom here on Tumblr but it's more focused on Buzz' crew then in Toy Story for itself. Anyways it's very nice to know that this fandom exists

Now it's 08:00 AM I'm so tired but now I can't sleep anymore

Edit: Buzz Lightyear of Star Command is an amazing show, go watch it, it's great!!!

[chicgeekgirl89]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @saybiwithme, @sznofthesticks, @bonheur-cafe, and @strandnreyes for the tags!

How many works do you have on ao3?

107 Works

What's your total ao3 word count?

414,110

What fandoms do you write for?

911 Lone Star right now. But I have also written NCIS LA, SEAL Team, Heartstopper, 911, NCIS, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Teen Wolf, Numb3rs, Power Rangers, Sea Patrol, and I think one random Chicago Fire fic lol.

Top five fics by kudos:

The House in the Pines Where the Road Ends

The Good, the Bad, and the Very Ugly

Shiner

Hold Onto Me

The Austin Chronicle Hot Sauce Festival

Do you respond to comments?

Almost always on new fics and I try to remember to respond when people comment on old fics because I am SUPER grateful to anyone who ever says anything nice to me about my work!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I Could Have Loved You- It's a SEAL Team fic where Sonny and Lisa spend six weeks together before she heads off to Officer training. It's a divergence from what ended up happening on the show and the ending is super sad because they basically say that if they'd had more time they could have really fallen in love and built a life together, but their careers are taking them in different directions.

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?'

Oh, basically all the rest? I prefer a happy ending.

Do you get hate on fics?

When I posted on ff.net I got some really nasty stuff. Most people on AO3 have been lovely!

Do you write smut?

No...not like SMUT smut. Like...heavy sexiness verging on smut I guess...It's not explicit.

Craziest crossover:

I wrote a Lone Star/Rookie crossover for @bluenet13 that I posted on Tumblr but I don't think I ever added to my AO3. Maybe I should...

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet!

All time favorite ship:

Ah! I don't know! Probably Tarlos and Nick/Charlie.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a fic about T.K. wanting to have sex everywhere and Carlos being like, "ABSOLUTELY NOT" but it is barely more than an idea and I don't know if I'll ever really get it off the ground.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue!! Banter!

What are your writing weaknesses?

Ugh freaking world building. Scenic description. Yikes.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I do my best if it's needed for the fic!

First fandom you wrote in:

I hand wrote Star Wars FanFiction in notebooks when I was like twelve years old.

Favorite fic you've written:

I'm very proud of my one little Heartstopper fic Rugby King because I think it turned out very cute and Nick and Charlie are super in character. But I also really love You Have the Right to Remain Silent (But I Know You Won't) because it's super silly and I think I got everyone's voices just right!

Tagging @lemonlyman-dotcom, @ladytessa74, @liminalmemories21, @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad, and @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut.