#where i pay dom with alex gifs

[collinnmckinley]

↳Random Call of Duty gifs [1/?] for Brighty aka @wallbang-buzzkill.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I posted 5,941 times in 2022

That's 3,533 more posts than 2021!

300 posts created (5%)

5,641 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hadeantaiga

@sorrelchestnut

@do-you-have-a-flag

@vaspider

@piratewolf

I tagged 1,460 of my posts in 2022

#our flag means death - 383 posts

#personal - 235 posts

#askbox - 98 posts

#whump - 45 posts

#castlevania - 42 posts

#someone get that man a dom - 42 posts

#the witcher - 36 posts

#con o'neill - 32 posts

#izzy hands - 32 posts

#bb is a lawyer - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#my religious affiliation is 'nothing unless we're discussing different denominations of christianity at which point i am catholic on main'

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

honestly, I'm okay with spending money to get rid of ads my ad-blocker normally can, and I appreciate @staff giving us this option instead of making it a patreon clone. I pay for a subscription to Reddit and TVTropes and Dropout because I can afford it and I like to support websites I want to stay active. I'm actually even more willing to spend that money on Tumblr.

7,753 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

#4

okay I know the popular conception of stede and lucius' relationship is a father/son thing but like, okay, I get it, and I'm here for it, but I also don't get that vibe at all.

like, I don't think lucius admires/looks up to stede in a parental way. he likes stede, he's supportive of stede, but personally I wouldn't call my dad a bizarre little man or ask him how his breakup is going. like, that's way too informal. that's more a relationship of equals than anything else.

nope. I think their relationship is actually elder gay/baby gay (in the sense of experience rather than chronological age). lucius has been out for years, he has a lot of experience in relationships, he is way more able to read relationships (e.g. knowing that ed and stede are flirting before they even realize they're flirting), and because of that he is extremely well equipped to give advice about navigating queerness.

stede, on the other hand, has just barely started to dip his toes in the gay pool. like regardless if you go with the theory that stede didn't even realize he was gay until he met ed or that he knew for years but couldn't acknowledge it openly until he met ed, stede has zero practical experience. he is, in his forties, experiencing a bunch of "firsts" that lucius probably did in his teens or early twenties. the entire emotional landscape is foreign to him (and I was going to make a joke about how pirating is also foreign to him but then I started thinking about how piracy in this show is a metaphor for queerness and that's a whole second essay)

basically I think lucius spent the first however-many weeks on board the revenge being like "oh my god this guy is a naive idiot but at least he's paying me," and then he heard nigel badminton joking about how he used to bully stede in school and his gaydar went off like mad, and at that moment his attitude changed to "someone needs to protect this naive gay idiot and that person is me" and that's where it is for the rest of the season.

9,160 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

#3

the best part is they politely gave alex jones’s lawyer the opportunity to fix their mistake and they DIDN’T DO IT. smh shaking my head

TEN DAYS. THEY HAD TEN FUCKING DAYS. AND THEY DIDN'T DO SHIT. AND THEN THEY HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE TEXTS AND OBJECT BEFORE THEY WERE ENTERED INTO EVIDENCE AND THEY DIDN'T. the unmitigated GLEE in bankston's voice when he's like "and as of two days ago, it fell free and clear into my possession, and that is how I know you LIED TO ME" is just fucking awe-inspiring. i love this man.

9,412 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

#2

i feel like every activist should read about fruitlands.

fruitlands was a transcendentalist utopian commune founded in the 1840s. the founders (including louisa may alcott's dad) thought that the existing capitalist economy was evil: alcott described it as a tree “whose root is selfishness, whose trunk is property, whose fruit is gold." so they decided to create a commune that was completely divorced from the economy. like, their response to the "you say you're against capitalism but still participate in it! checkmate socialists!" people was literally "you're right, let's not!"

they refused to consume any materials or foods that couldn't be locally grown, like tea or sugar. they were also highkey vegan: not only was it immoral to eat animal products and use animals for leather and wool, but using animal labor or even using manure as fertilizer was forbidden. and they refused to trade for anything they didn't have within the commune because participation in an oppressive economy was bad, especially if it supported slave labor (ex: wearing cotton fabric).

it fell apart in less than a year because they didn't have enough food to survive the winter.

why?

well, part of it was circumstantial: the site they picked had little arable land and they arrived a month behind in the planting schedule. part of it was the impracticality of living in the 1840s and being so vegan that they couldn't even use oxen to plough their fields or wear clothes that were warm in cold weather.

but the main reason was that the men of the commune (and they were almost all men, except for alcott's wife and another woman, ann page) didn't actually, like, do anything. they left all the household chores and childcare to the women, plus most of the farm work, while they sat around and philosophized about how cool their utopia was. even before it fell apart, most people there had began taking "vacations" away from fruitlands so that they could take hot baths and avoid trying to till the soil with their bare hands.

there are a lot of good lessons here.

1. it's very easy to talk about your great ideas for society but putting them into practice is much harder. you have to actually do the work to achieve the goal: you can't shunt it off onto other people based on the same oppressive systems you're trying to subvert.

2. you need to consider the practical implications of what you're arguing for, including potential downsides. banning wool for ethical reasons is all well and good until you're stuck wearing linen clothes and canvas shoes in the middle of a massachusetts winter.

3. you can't expect that a utopia is going to be all the things you like about society staying the same and everything you dislike being changed. that is at best naïve and at worst intensely selfish.

tl;dr: talk is cheap, praxis is hard.

20,261 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I already knew a lot of criticisms about cryptocurrency and NFTs but HOLY SHIT Dan Olson just spent two hours very carefully and viciously picking apart every single aspect of the entire operation and explaining exactly why it's capitalism at its worst and is basically a perfect scam machine

23,874 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[thinkyoureholy]

Oceandust [1]

[a/n: ya girl is back at it again with a new series]

.

.

.

Pairing : Kim Hongjoong / [fem] Reader

Genre : Angst, Violence, Language, Fluff, Smut, Pirate! AU

Words : 2.6k

Pt 1. Pt 2.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

-Y/N’s  P.O.V-

I grinned as I raced down the narrow alleys of the small town, hearing the shouts of the merchant behind me. I knew he wouldn’t follow me for long, they always gave up within a few seconds, worried about leaving their merchandise unattended for too long. I mean, I'd pick losing one piece of jewelry over the whole damn cart. He was smart to not follow me for long, but not smart enough because I did steal from him pretty easily. I chuckled at the thought, slowing down to a jog then to a walk. 

I looked down at the gold plated bracelet in my hand, throwing it up in the air before catching it, my eyes shining brightly at the thought of the money I could get for this. I'd be able to buy Yuki a present for her birthday. Oh! And Alex can get some new shoes, God knows he needs them. And I can buy Dom a new hat and Yuri a- my thoughts were cut short as I bumped into a sturdy back, the person I walked into cutting their own conversation off.

"Watch it." The man spat out, turning on his heel to face me, a sheer mask covering his mouth and nose.

I scoffed softly to myself, uttering a half hearted apology under my breath. I gave him a once over, smirking to myself at the idea I just had. I walked around him, careful to keep my head down as I swiped him of the pocket watch he had. I mean he was practically begging for me to take it, the chain was hanging precariously out of his pocket, I'd be a fool not to take it. I was admiring the watch as I made my way back home when that same man suddenly appeared in front of me, this time pointing a gun to my head.

"Don't think I'm stupid enough not to know when I've been pick pocketed." He snarled, looking angrier than I've ever seen anyone look, "Give me back my damn pocket watch and I'll let you go without a scratch."

I took a step back, hiding the watch behind my back, "I don't have your watch."

He chuckled lowly, the look in his eyes only seemed to grow more intense, "Don't play the fool now, little lady. I know your kind and you're crafty I'll admit," He paused, cocking his gun, the smile disappearing from his face, "Give it back while I'm still being nice about it."

I took another step back but froze the moment he moved the hand he was holding the gun with slightly to the right, firing off a warning shot and missing my head by a few inches. He closed his eyes for a moment, running his fingers through his hair before opening them, the look in his eyes somehow softer yet still firm.

"I'm in no mood to entertain you, girl. Hand over the watch and I'll let you go. If you refuse once more then I'll kill you here and I get my watch back anyway...and that bracelet you have in a death grip in your left hand as well.." He threatened, his hand extended, waiting for me to place the pocket watch in the palm of his hand.

I unconsciously moved my left hand behind my back, staring at him for a second longer before placing the pocket watch in his hand. I forced a smile on my face, chuckling softly.

"Ah...I was just trying to mess with you a little, sorry about that. I'll be on my way now, have a lovely day." I hurriedly said in the sweetest voice I could muster.

As soon as I placed the watch in the palm I turned on my heel, walking away from him quickly. But I didn’t get very far, the sound of his voice made me freeze mid-step.

“A little piece of advice little lady...try not to be so obvious when pick pocketing someone. The moment you looked down at the pocket of my jacket I had you figured out. I suggest you search someone with your eyes a for few moments before you bump into them.” He said, his calm and somewhat condescending tone making me clench my hands into fists.

I turned back around to give him a piece of my mind but I was surprised to see that he had already disappeared. I looked around to see where he went but he was nowhere in sight. I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding, shaking my head slightly, staring out into the empty alley for a moment. Weird.

…...

“Y/N!” 

I grinned at the sound of her voice, crouching down and catching her, timing it perfectly with her jump, “Kiki! Did you behave yourself while I was out?”

I watched the smile on her face fall the slightest bit but she recovered just as quickly, nodding her head vigorously. I gave her a skeptical look, glancing over at Yuri standing in the doorway of the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Honestly with how she normally is I’d say Yuki behaved herself pretty well today.”

Yuki nodded her head along with everything Yuri was saying, looking mighty proud of herself, a smug smile on her face. I chuckled, pinching her cheek. She whined and pulled away, squirming in my hold until I put her down. Once I put her down I placed my hands on her shoulders, kneeling down in front of her so we were eye level with each other.

“I got you a little something for your birthday.” I told her with a grin, watching her squeal in delight.

I reached into my bag and pulled out a doll she had been begging me to buy her for the past few months. Her toys and dolls were always made out of rags, or they were so used they could barely even be called toys. The look in her eyes the moment she saw the brand new doll was worth the money it took to get it. She grinned so widely and yelled out the happiest 'thank you' I had ever heard before running off to play with her new doll. I watched her leave before calling out for Alex and Dom, the twins running over to me at the sound of their names. I pulled out some new shoes for Alex and pulled Dom’s hat off of his head, replacing it with the new one I just bought. The two of them bounced happily on the balls of their feet at their presents. I watched as the three talked amongst themselves and showed off their presents.

“You spoil them too much.” Yuri said, coming over to stand next to me, his eyes on the little ones.

“And I’ll continue to spoil them rotten until the day I die.” I replied with a fond smile playing at my lips, “Don’t think I forgot about you.”

I reached into my bag and pulled out the new pair of pants I had bought him. I felt sorry that he had to wear the same worn out pants to school everyday. I worried that the others would tease him for the holes in his pants. Yuri on the other hand didn’t think he needed them, pushing my hand away from him.

“You should’ve bought something else with the money you used on those pants.”

I grinned, grabbing his hand and put the pair of pants in the palm of his hand, “They don’t give refunds so just take it...besides I’m tired of sending you off to school with pants that have holes all over them.”

He sighed, offering no argument over the pants, but instead brought up one I had shot down over and over, “About school...I was thinking I could drop out and-”

“No.” I cut him off in a firm voice, heading into the kitchen and pulled out the food I had bought on the way over here.

“But I can help you out more! I could sell the milk Dee makes or we can turn it into butter or cheese! Y/N please I see you struggling and I just want to help.” He practically pleaded with me, hoping I’d finally change my mind but this was something I wouldn’t budge on.

“My answer is no and it will continue to be no. This is not a discussion, now help me make dinner or go and entertain the little ones.” I declared, not even sparing him a glance.

He stayed where he was for a moment before he let out a huff of annoyance, stomping out of the kitchen. I sighed heavily, leaning against the counter with closed eyes. Yuri was smart...he should at least finish school. He doesn’t need to work, he’s only fifteen. The money I get is enough to get us through the day. He doesn’t need to worry about anything...all he needs to do is focus on his studies...I’ll take care of the rest.

With that thought in mind I got to work on making dinner. All I could do was make them food before leaving once more to go work at the pub by the docks. I hardly made any money there so I had to resort to stealing but even though I didn’t get paid much I couldn’t really afford to quit. I stole yes, but not enough times to get caught...just when we were really desperate and recently...it’s been more often than not.

-

I hurried around the pub, picking up the empty glasses and replacing them with full ones. I shouted along with the customers every time they made a toast, the bartender and other waitress joining as well. I grinned as I looked around, seeing everyone in high spirits. I chuckled at something I heard from a customer as I walked back to the bar. Before I could get back out onto the floor the bartender, Eunwoo, reached out to grab hold of my wrist gently.

“New customer in the corner, go get his order for me will ya? Rie is too busy to make it over there.”

I nodded at his words, looking over to where he had said the customer was at. I couldn’t quite make out their face from where I was but I didn’t pay it any mind as I made my way over. As soon as I got close to them I put a smile on my face, asking them what they’d like to start off with. But as soon as they lifted their head my smile dropped. He smirked at me, looking me up and down.

“That uniform suits you, little lady.” 

I stayed glued to my spot as my eyes scanned his entire face. The last time I saw him he had a mask on, it was sheer but it was still a mask nonetheless. Now with the light in the pub I was able to make out his features...and as much as I hated to admit it, he sure was handsome. The grin he now wore did nothing to mask the dangerous glint he had in his eyes. I didn’t notice this before but he had a slit in his right brow, his multiple earrings shining in the light. I gulped at the look in his eye, involuntarily taking a step back, the smile on his face falling at the action.

“Relax. I’m not going to threaten you here...unless you try and steal from me again that is.” He said with a wave of his hand, leaning back in his chair, “What would you recommend?”

I gawked at him for a moment longer, recollecting myself with a shake of my head, “Um rum? I heard it’s good…”

He cocked a brow at my words, tilting his head to the side, “You’ve heard?”

“I...I’m not much of a drinker.”

“But you work at a pub.”

“It doesn’t mean I have to be an alcoholic.” I shot back, watching the amusement fill his eyes.

He chuckled softly, nodding to himself, “You got a point there. Fine, I’ll take that rum on the rocks.”

“Dark or light?”

He leaned forward, that grin back on his face, “Give me the darkest one you have, little lady.”

I nodded and turned on my heel, going over to tell Eunwoo what he ordered. I looked around, seeing if anyone needed a refill but to my surprise everyone seemed to be doing okay with their drinks so I waited on his drink. Eunwoo had it ready in no time at all. With his drink in hand I headed back over to where he was sitting, setting the glass down in front of him. Without a word I went to go back and see what else I could do but the sound of his voice stopped me from going more than a few steps.

“If you’ve got a job why do you go around stealing from people?”

The color drained from my face at the question, my eyes darting around the pub to see if anyone heard him. They all seemed to be busy talking amongst themselves. I let out a sigh of relief, turning back around to face him and took a few steps closer to him so I could speak in a low voice, diminishing the risk of having someone overhear me.

“Look, what I do or don’t do is none of your business so I’d appreciate it if you didn't bring it up ever again.” I threatened, hoping he’d drop it.

I mean I barely even know the guy, I just met him today and not under the best circumstances either. Why he’s bringing any of that up is beyond me. I had hoped he would at the very least not want to continue conversing with me but he smirked instead, a soft chuckle falling from his lips.

“Oh ho...I see you can be threatening as well...and here I was thinking you were just another pretty face. I’ve been pleasantly surprised…” He muttered, leaning in closer

I didn’t move an inch, knowing he was probably trying to intimidate me. And by the way his smirk grew into a grin I knew I did exactly what he wanted me to do instead.

“What’s your name, little lady?” He asked, his voice dripping with something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

“What’s yours?” I shot back, smirking at the way his eyes widened the slightest bit before he chuckled for the third time in the span of five minutes.

“Hongjoong. I don’t think you’re interested in last names so I’ll just keep it at that. Now that I gave you my name it’s customary to give one in return.” He said with a teasing smile, leaning back in his chair, taking a sip of his drink.

I looked at him skeptically, thinking if I should just give him a fake name. He could’ve given me a fake name so it wouldn’t hurt to give him one in return. But the longer I looked into his eyes the more honesty in them shone through. I mean what harm could it do really? I sighed heavily, relaxing my shoulders for the first time since I met him.

“Y/N.”

The teasing smile turned into a genuine looking smile, the look in his eyes softened, “Y/N, a pretty name for a pretty lady. Finally, a name to put to the face,” He mumbled under his breath.

I gave him a quizzical look but he offered no further explanation. I shrugged to myself, looking over my shoulder around to see if there were any glasses that needed to be refilled. I excused myself from Hongjoong, unaware of his lingering gaze.

[koganphrancis]

Camless Episode 5

All The Writers Of This Show Are Shit

We had us a brand new writer this week and all we got was the same old same old: OOC, Retconing, and Repeats of Old Story Beats.

I’ll attempt a recap, but this episode really sucked the will out of me.

(gif credit: gallavichlovies)

I’m not going to do my usual character by character recap because frankly some really awful shit went down this week that I’m just going to refer to and not go into in depth.  Plus, so much of the episode was tedious repeats of shit the writer had JUST TRIED to say.  

We had both Debbie and Ian go knocking on the wrong doors for advice. We had two endless Lip scenes where all that was happening was he was running and riding a motorcycle.  Maybe next week he can paint a fence and we can all watch as the paint dries. Liam is sexually molested (off screen, but still) by another child who had been sexually molested. Carl and Frank both get slapped around in sexually-adjacent situations just as the show is once again trying to drive home what’s unacceptable for men to do to women-hey, Shameless, that goes for what’s unacceptable for women to do to men, women to do to other women, and men to do to other men as well.  They tried to make “going Fiona” a thing-twice.   There were at least four scenes where Frank tried to get an erection. There were endless retcons (more on those to come).  

My notes are all over the place and the show’s such a shit pile I can’t even begin to make a smooth narrative out of them, so here’s a list of my observations, saving the Ian shit for last.

Debbie had a running thread through a big part of the episode where she’s literally bored to the point of falling asleep listening to Alex-that is exactly how I feel about their relationship/the Debbie thinks she might be gay storyline.  Also, if anyone cares, Debs has completely dropped her equal rights/equal pay fight.  She doesn’t even seem to go to work anymore. Later, Debbie goes to visit the lesbians in Fiona’s building (rather than, I don’t know, talking to Vee about her experiences with Svetlana, since that seems maybe more in line with feelings Debbie is experiencing?) and the scene was clearly written in lieu of Shameless ever showing sex scenes anymore.  

The blond lesbian, Mel, exposes herself to Debbie in the doorway of her apartment (but sadly for the Netflix fans, her back is to the camera), without establishing if Debbie is not a minor, and then she kisses her in a sloppy slo-mo saliva string sharing close up.  Debbie is supposedly stunned stupid by this, but the whole “you like what you like and you don’t have to justify your sexual orientation to anyone” message falls flat.  Debbie has ALWAYS been starved for attention, and she misreads any attention she gets from anyone of any sex.  Since Matty she’s always equated someone trying to be interested in her as being interested in her sexually.  And that kiss wasn’t sexual at all-it too was a form of molestation-it wasn’t asked for or consented to.  This show is shit.  

Carl meets a young woman at a West Point mixer, the daughter of the scary military officer who is throwing the party.  Hello, we’ve done this already with Dom and her scary cop dad.  Yawn.  Carl films them not having sex after she passes out drunk so he can prove he didn’t molest/rape her, should it ever come in question.  At first the young woman is mad (and jumps on him and starts slapping him around, just like Katey Sagal will do in a scene with Frank), but then later she returns Carl’s phone and says she saw he didn’t film them having sex, but there is a recording on there of him having sex with someone else.  He says that’s Kassidi, his ex, but fails to let Kelly (the new chick) know she’s dead and he’s an accessory to her murder.  And how fucking creepy is it that Carl’s kept sex with his dead ex on his phone?  Is that something he’s still watching?  Does he get off to it?  This show is shit.

Kev and Vee get stuck with Frank in a few scenes, foreshadowing the boring seasons to come, should the show get renewed (why are they still sitting on announcing that, btw?).  There’s a subplot for Kev where he’s going to speak at a women’s rally in his new-found position of Vagina Safe consultant, but he wisely bows out when he hears the real hell women face on a regular basis.  Why this show is trying to be socially conscious this late in the game I’ll never know.  Especially since they’ll keep pulling their bullshit and defend it with “it’s Shameless!” like they’ve always done in the past.  This show is shit.

There’s the weekly Fiona/Bored disagreements-this time they’re about little things like music preferences and whether or not Fiona should care about her brother going to prison for up to two decades.  Bored winds up singing along to a song to Fiona at the end-it should’ve been Gus Pfender’s Fuck You, Fiona and they could’ve had a cute discussion about Gus being Fi’s ex-husband.  This show is shit.

Now Ian.  Sigh.  Nothing makes sense.  Everything’s either a lie or a retcon and we the audience still don’t know which.  At breakfast he’s telling the family his plea options, and when Liam questions temporary insanity, Ian rattles off, “Bipolar, off my meds.”  So is Ian saying that’s just the definition of the defense he could use, or is he saying “I was off my meds”????  WHY won’t the show give us any answers?  There were two significant scenes in Season 8 where he staunchly said he was taking his meds and that he (rightly) was entitled to feel emotions and be angry at times.  Are we supposed to think that right about then is when he stopped taking them and then Gay Jesus happened?  But if that was the case, why did he stop taking his meds, and now how long has he been off them-or did he start taking them again and now they’re working after being off them for all the GJ stuff PLUS when he was in jail for 9 months?  IF he was off his meds for any amount of time but especially a long amount of time (pretty sure an argument could be made he’d been off them since leaving Mickey/Monica dying/stalking boring Terror, blowing that old couple for money), why did his manic phase seem so different than when he was back from the army?  Can the show try to explain anything?  

Ian and Fiona and Geneva all go to the lawyer’s office-why?  There IS such a thing as client-attorney privilege and the lawyer, at least, would ask them to wait outside once the screaming began if not sooner.  But oh well.  Ian finally says, “Does anyone want to hear what my lawyer has to say?”  Me at home: YES!!!  Lawyer starts to talk, “I know this judge-he’s under...” Geneva starts yelling again and what gets lost in her bullshit is that later on, the judge is not a he?  

Outside Fi asks Ian, “Are all lesbians that dramatic?”  I asked last week, I’m asking again: Is Geneva a lesbian?  Is this just another retcon?  Her initial interactions with Ian seemed like she was crushing on him, that she wanted him, and there’s been nothing about her being a lesbian in canon.  I know it’s not important, but the lack of attention to detail on this show contributes mightily to its shittiness.

Suddenly Ian has a question, and he can think of only one place to get an answer (even though Liam was able to Google “what is cocktail attire?” and get an answer in seconds.  Ian should’ve asked him to look up his question as well).  

Ian goes to the Milkovich house and it’s so fucking OOC I don’t even want to think about it.  For whatever reason, Ian politely says, “Hi, Mr. Milkovich,” when Terry answers the door-why would he even bother?  Terry’s not big on manners, for one thing, and for another, the last time Ian saw Terry he was flipping him off as he was being carted back to prison.  Don’t think Terry’s going to be warmed over by a polite greeting.  Anyway, Ian asks him about being in the pen, and Terry says there’s ass and mouth rapings that Ian would probably enjoy, shitty food, and beat downs from the guards.  Ian asks if Terry was mouth raped (I think he specified that, I didn’t put it in my notes) and Terry indignantly says that Milkoviches don’t “bottom”.  Ian says, “Was Mickey adopted?” and I can’t tell if he was trying to piss Terry off or if he was genuinely curious, but as a joke it didn’t work-Ian knows (or the old Ian did, anyway) better than anyone that Mickey was absolutely nothing like Terry, in any way, not just in sexual preferences.  Another OOC comment to just make the viewer weep thinking about the old days.  Also, having Terry know, let alone USE, the term bottom was also OOC in the extreme.  He might as well have said, “All Milkoviches are cishet.”  It would’ve been just as believable.  

But back to the scene.  Ian says, “Rapings, food, guards-I can handle that shit.  I just need to know...” Terry interrupts him.  “Anyone can handle that shit.  (Again, me at home: Really?)  It’s the boredom that’ll kill ya...Start reading books, lifting weights...”  (Mickey already told him that about juvie AND prison-how dense is Ian that he never got it?)  “But you’re in the same place, with the same assholes, doing the same shit, every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every god damn year.  If I was you I’d pack my shit and run.”  

Ian’s face while he’s running down all the segments of time seems to look like Terry’s getting through to him.  And Terry telling him to take off is actually the best advice Ian winds up getting-in the long run Terry seems to care about keeping Ian out of prison more than his own family.  Terry easily could’ve slammed the door in Ian’s face and ignored him.  Does that mean I forgive Terry at all for everything he did to Mickey, Mandy, and Ian-not to mention his other sons and Svetlana?  FUCK NO.  But how telling is it that this show is now so bad that a villainous piece of shit like Terry is the one character we are listening to and agreeing with?  

One last thing about Terry-he just got out, but he knows Mickey’s in Mexico?  How?  I’m hoping this is a set up for Ian being able to find Mickey next week (or at the end of the season if we have to wait that fucking long), but this show doesn’t do continuity anymore, so I’m sure there’s no logical explanation for Terry knowing that fact.  

Fi goes to the Gallagher house looking for Ian and finds an empty box of hair dye, and a towel stained with hair dye, and that Ian’s drawers are empty.  I also noticed that his pillow was gone-did he pack that up too?  If so, I’m hoping it’s because he and Mickey shared it and he wanted to keep some part of Mick with him always, but we know this show ain’t about that anymore.  Anyway, Fi goes and tells Lip she thinks Ian skipped bail and they have to go find him.  Lip says no, Ian’s an adult.  This conversation also just took place with Debbie-or takes place right after, the show was so boring I couldn’t keep the repeated scenes straight if you put a gun to my head.  

WHY are the siblings so uncaring about Ian going to prison-or getting caught as a fugitive and spending even more time there?  WHY is everyone so stupid about whether prison is “bad” or not, especially for their apple cheeked, puppy-eyed brother who is dealing with mental illness?  Who may or may not be off his meds at any given time?  Ian couldn’t even handle VISITING Mickey in prison, why does he suddenly think he could do a stretch of multiple years if not decades?  All those years stealing cable and watching bootleg DVDs, did none of the Gallaghers ever watch Oz?  In a prior season it was established that Lip has read so much he was able to determine a Louis Vuitton purse was authentic by the stitching and the lettering-he’s never read about prisons and how they affect young men that are in them for a period of time?  “Hardened criminal” is a phrase he’s never come across?  Lip doesn’t realize how hard Ian’s future as a convicted felon will be when he gets out?  Trying to find a job (especially one with medical benefits), a place to live, all that stuff?  This show is shit.

There’s a meaningless shot of Ian at the train station (we don’t even get to know where he was planning to run to-as if we didn’t know-show us he’s at least headed south, you bastards!) and then there’s a scene where Lip comes home in the dark to find Ian at the kitchen table eating ice cream right out of the Edy’s carton.  (They don’t show us the flavor-it looked like it might be chocolate chip?  I didn’t see any chunks of cookie dough or anything.  Again, this is only important because everything else is so boring that actually knowing what kind of ice cream Ian likes would be interesting in comparison.)  

I guess the ice cream is sort of a metaphor?  Ian’s last sweet taste of freedom?  Or maybe I’m reading too much into it and they just came up with something for the brothers to share and it couldn’t be beer-because of Lip, not because of Ian’s meds because god knows they never cared about that, plus we STILL don’t know if he’s just magically back on them-if he is, how is he paying for them?  Anyway, after Lip’s earlier attitude about Ian being an “adult” and not caring all that much about him ever, he doesn’t deserve ice cream!  Here’s a snippet of their dialogue: 

Lip: So you didn’t run. Ian: Oh no-I ran.  I just...ran back.  (well, at least that’s in character since he ran away to the army and came back, and ran away with Monica and came back, and the fucking Mexican border, but I’m not happy about that fact)

They start listing the things Ian will miss if he’s gone for the next ten years.  Debbie may be married to a woman (I would think her being divorced is more likely, but whatever, I won’t be around to watch it either, I’m gone as soon as Ian’s back with Mickey), Carl will be a war criminal, Liam will be the father of a ten year old, Frank, dead.  Ian asks Lip, “You?”  “Still in AA, if I haven’t drunk myself to death.”  Ian says, “Do me a favor?  Don’t.”  IAN CARES MORE ABOUT LIP THAN LIP CARES ABOUT IAN.  Always has, always will.  “Lip deserves to get out of the ghetto.”  But Lip’s fine with Ian going off to prison because of the whole Gay Jesus thing that he never even began to try to understand or help Ian find a way out of.  This show is shit.

Next there’s a scene of Ian in a suit, dressed for court and talking to his Bible that’s on his bed (still no pillow-weird).  He’s asking Shim to talk to him one last time, maybe give him a hint what he should do.  His voice is soft and pleading and he’s almost in tears and all I can think is he needs Mickey to talk things out with.  Lip comes to the door and says something like they’re all downstairs, it’s time or whatever.  Ian gives the Bible one last look and seems to do a little wink-did he hear something from Shim?  Would it kill this show to let us in on some things?  This show is shit.

His plea hearing was so factually inaccurate it hurt.  His lawyer doesn’t say anything, and when asked what he pleads Ian launches into his entire defense.  And the judge lets him.  OMGJ.  

Again I’m pretty sure I’m witnessing a retcon when Ian says “A young man was being forced against his will into a van to be taken to a conversion camp.”  Um, as I recall (and I won’t rewatch the episodes to get all the exact details, they were too stupid), a young runaway came to the Church of Gay Jesus and claimed his parents were trying to make him get conversion therapy and they were giving him drugs so he couldn’t get erections because they didn’t like the fact that he was gay, but when Ian talked to the dad he said the kid ran away on his own because he suffered from mental illness, was off his meds, and was living on the street and prostituting himself.  As I recall the dad/parents didn’t say anything about conversion, they just wanted him home.  Maybe the dad sought help from the guys in the van because there was no other way to get the kid home-none of this has been established for the court, if nothing else!  This show is shit.

Ian gives a speech in a voice like wimpy Jeremiah trying to convince everyone Jerome was the bad one and it was just lame.  He claims his family loved him unconditionally-since when?  They only gave him crap about being with Mickey, or ignored him.  And then when he became “like Monica” there were definitely conditions on loving him-mainly that he be on his meds.  Right up to this episode they were all going around saying it’s time to let him go-they didn’t love him enough to want to keep him at the house and try to help him!  

Anyway, he then states in open court he was off his meds and in a manic state when he torched the van.  Then he looks back at Fiona and starts to give a tiny smile right before the credits.  Was he lying to get a lighter sentence and he’s smiling because he got away with it?  Or does he look to her like that because he knows she’ll be proud of him for finally telling the truth even if it disappoints/ruins the GJ movement (that is so implausible as a concept it makes my head ache)?  

By next week the show will be in another writer’s hands and I’ll never get the answer to that question either, I bet.  IF this means the-fucking finally-end to the GJ storyline, I’ll have to be happy enough with that. 

In conclusion let me say that once again the only “great” thing about the episode was ZERO mention of Terror!  

But the rest of the show was shit. 

[jesynelsonfinnbalor]

12. Part 1: Cathy Challenges Jesy

Two Part Summerslam Chapter

Raw Before Summerslam

Jesy and Fergal are at Raw together. "I can't believe Summerslam is right around the corner," Jesy said. "I know. I'm ready for Summerslam. Are you excited?" Fergal asked. 

"Oh yes, I am. I can't wait until you beat Baron Corbin," she said smiling. "I'll pretend he's Harry Byart and beat living hell out of him for you," he said.

Jesy giggled. "You better get glammed up," he said to her. 

Jesy nodded and headed to ake up area. As she turned the corner, she saw Harry Byart, however, she didn't see Catherine Kelley. 

She hid away. "Jesy, you okay?" Renee asked. "He's here," she whispers. "Who is?" Renee asked. 

"My abusive ex Harry Byart. Catherine's boy-toy," she said. "Should I tell Fergal?" Renee asked. "No, I'm gonna ignore him," Jesy said. 

Fergal was in heading to the locker room. "Fergal....." Catherine's voice.

He turned around and saw Catherine. "What the hell do you want?" he asked. 

"Where's Jesy at?" she asked. "Why do you care? Just leave me and her alone," he said trying to walk away.

"Send Jesy a message for me. Tell her I want to fight her," she said.

"She'll kick your ass if you fight her. Please leave me and Jesy alone," he said. He walked away. 

Jesy was getting ready to cut a promo for herself and why she's in the WWE. "Nervous?" Fergal asked her.

"Nope. I know that Catherine and Harry are here. Plus Catherine wants to fight me at Summerslam," she said.

"Oh. Are you going to accept her challenge?" he asked. "Yes. I am gonna give her an extreme makeover," she said smiling.

"Jesy, they are ready for you," Vince said. Jesy nodded. "Here I go," she said. "I'll be out here, watching this monitor," he said. 

In-Ring Segment

Jesy has her own theme song, which is Salute by her girl group; Little Mix.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Miss Jesy Nelson," JoJo said. Jesy walking down the ramp to the ring.

She got in the ring, got a mic and stood in the ring. "Last week on Raw, Jesy, you made her presence known when she came out with Finn Bálor. She showed Constable Baron Corbin what she can do," Michael Cole said. 

Her music ended. "Jesy Nelson!" the crowd chanted. Charly Caruso was in the ring getting ready to interview me.

"Jesy, thank you for joining me for this interview," Charly said. "Thank you, Charly," Jesy said. 

"Two weeks ago, you made your first appearance on Monday Night Raw, when you slapped Constable Baron Corbin across the face then you jumped over the barricade to check on Finn Bálor, then last week, you did this," Charly said, showing a clip.

*plays the clip*

The fans started cheering. "Corbin deserved it," they chanted. "How did you feel about doing that to Baron Corbin?" Charly asked.

"It felt good but I will feel much better to do that to Cathy Kelley," Jesy said. 

"Speaking of Cathy Kelley, she challenges you to a match. Not just any kind of match, she wants a match at Summerslam. In a Brooklyn Street Fight," Charly said. Jesy started laughing. "Is she joking?" Jesy asked.

Catherine Kelley has her own theme song; Work Bitch by Britney Spears, then she starts running to the ring then Charly leaves the ring as Cathy attacks Jesy from behind then starts giving her right hands. Then she gets off Jesy.

The WWE Universe is booing Cathy. "Aw..come on!" Renee yelled. Cathy started gloating.

Jesy got up and turned her head with an angered look on her face. "Uh-oh, look at Jesy's face," Corey said, on commentary. 

Cathy turned around as Jesy charges at her with a scream. The crowd starts cheering for Jesy. "Here we go!" Renee said on commentary.

"There they go," Michael Cole said. "Look at Jesy go! She's learned how to fight," Corey said on commentary.

Two security guards came out to stop them. WWE Universe starts booing at the security.

Cathy and Jesy started slapping them and kicking them out of the ring. 

The crowd started cheering again. Jesy and Cathy continue to fight, Cathy tries to get out of the ring but Jesy kept holding Cathy by the hair while Cathy pulls on hers.

Harry pulls Cathy out of the ring. Then Fergal comes out and pulls Jesy back. "Babe, calm down," Fergal said. Jesy picked up the mic catching her breath. 

Harry held on to Cathy. "Catherine, you want to fight me so badly? You got it. Jesy Nelson vs Cathy Kelley, in a Brooklyn Street Fight," Jesy said. 

"Your dead, Jesy!" Cathy said. "This Sunday, I will make you my damn bitch just like that bastard with you made you his," Jesy said, dropping the mic down. Fergal got a pissed off look on his face when he sees Harry.

"At Summerslam, it was will be Jesy Nelson vs Cathy Kelley in a Brooklyn Street Fight match," Michael Cole said, on commentary. "I can not wait to see this match," Corey said, on commentary.

Later that night

Jesy and Fergal got back to their hotel room. "Dang babe, you two went at it like cats," Fergal said, giving Jesy ice for her eye.

"That bitch had it coming," Jesy said, putting the ice pack on her eye as she hisses.

"That she did. I know you'll beat her at Summerslam," he said.

"I'm gonna give her the most extreme makeover that she has ever had in her life," she said. 

"That's my girl. Speaking of Summerslam, my parents are coming and guess who's coming to support you?" he asked. 

"My girls," she said. "Yes. Plus," he said. Someone knocks on the door.

Fergal went to answer the door. "We have our special guests," he said. 

Janice walks in. "MUMMY!" Jesy said running to her mum and hugs her. "Jesy, guess who I have with me," Janice said. 

Janice puts the pet carrier down. Reggie and Oscar came out of it. "Reggie! Oscar!" Jesy cried as she held them. Reggie and Oscar are happy to see Jesy. 

"My boys. How did you get them from Harry?" she asked. "Harry left them with Perrie and Alex," Janice said.

"Thank you. Mum, I get to have my debut match this Sunday," she said. "I saw and kick that Catherine girl's butt," Janice said.

"Don't worry, Mum, I will," she said smiling. "Okay well I'm going back to my hotel room and I'll see you two in the morning," Janice said.

"Thanks, Janice and we will," he said, side hugging Janice.

Janice headed to her own hotel room. Fergal sat on the bed with Jesy, Reggie, and Oscar.

"Reggie, Oscar, meet your new daddy," Jesy said. Reggie stayed with Jesy but Oscar laid on Fergal's lap. 

Fergal petted Oscar. "Is this one Oscar?" he asked Jesy. "Yes, that's Oscar and this brown one is my first baby Reggie," she said.

"Our fur kids," he said, smiling. Jesy smiles back. He kissed Jesy's forehead. She smiles softly. 

"I love you, future hubby," Jesy said. "I love you too, my fiancèe," he said. They both smiled and laid down.

Reggie walked over to Fergal and licked his face. "Reggie loves kisses," she said smiling.

He smiles. "Let's get some sleep," he whispers. She nodded.

Reggie and Oscar laid down on the foot of the bed. Jesy and Fergal cuddled each other.

Meanwhile at Catherine's Place

Cathy was in the bathtub with hot water and bubbles. "Fucking bitch," she said. Harry got in with her, holding her close. 

"Don't worry, you'll get at her. I want you to beat her senseless," Harry said. "I am gonna make her wish she wasn't even born," she said.

"Finish what I started with her," he said, grabbing Cathy's hair. She smirks and enjoys it.

"Anything for you, my Dom," she said smiling. "That's my Letty," he said, kissing her deeply. They both get rough. 

Next Two Days; Three Days Before Summerslam

Fergal took Jesy with him to his favorite coffee shop in Brooklyn. "Beautiful day," Jesy said.

"As beautiful as you," he said, opening the door for her. "This is my favorite coffee shop," he said. "It's nice," she said. 

Fergal orders his usual. Jesy orders her favorite Frappe with expresso. Fergal pays for them.

"Here you go," the clerk said. Jesy and Fergal left the coffee shop. They walked on the Brooklyn Bridge. 

Perrie, Jade, and Leigh-Anne were waiting for them. "There they are," Leigh said.

"Hey Jes," Leigh said, hugging her. "Hey girls," Jesy said as she hugs them all. "Hey, Fergal," they all said. "Hey girls," Fergal said. 

"How are you love birds?" Alex asked. "We're good," Fergal said. "Good, just can't wait until I fight Catherine," Jesy said.

"We'll be at ringside to support and cheer you on," Jade said.

"And Fergal, if you see Harry tries to interfere, kick his ass for us and Jesy's honor," Perrie said.

"I will but I have to go through Baron Corbin first," Fergal said. "He'll kick his ass as well," Jesy said. 

"I will, baby," Fergal said, kissing her head. Jesy smiles. "You two are so cute together," Jade said, smiling then tears up. "Oh Jade, don't cry," Jesy said, hugging Jade.

"I'm not. These are happy tears. Fergal, there's something I want to tell you," Jade said.

Fergal nodded. "I want to say thank you for being there for Jesy. If she didn't leave Harry, she would have been hurt or worse left for dead. I thank you for saving her and loving her. She's more than my best friend, she's my sister from another mister. You are the best thing to happen to her," Jade said, wiping her tears. 

Fergal hugged Jade. "Thanks, Jade. That means a lot," he said. "Fergal, you are Jesy's one true love. Her everything and her favorite person in the world. She deserves you and everything. She's the luckiest girl in the whole universe," Leigh said.

"Thank you, Leigh," he said smiling. Perrie looks at Fergal and Jesy.

"You two are perfect for each other. I prayed that you would come into Jesy's life and be part of her life. Life is too short and precious. You have saved her life and we thank you for everything. We are officially calling you our honorable brother," Perrie said smiling. 

Perrie hugged Jesy first then Fergal hugged them both. Leigh and Jade hugged them.

They all stopped hugging, wiping their tears. Jesy held on to Fergal as he placed his head on her head. They smiled. 

"Should we tell them?" Jesy asked. "What's going on?" they all asked.

"We should. Jesy and I actually saved a date for our wedding," Fergal said. 

"When?" they asked. "January 4th, 2019," Fergal said. "Yayy!!" all three cheered. 

To be continued....

Part two will be posted after Summerslam

Tags: @gothicninibalor @balorbj @candicelerae @beckygirl95 @thegloriousdisaster and anyone else...