#where else can i find pizza on a fucking stick?

[ddaengju]

perhaps fair food isn't the /best/ food one could eat. and i may currently be paying the consequences for my choices (i. e., now stuck on toilet). but i do not regret the pizza on a stick, the bucket of fries, the ice cream, or the pretzel that i ate all in less than an hour.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Dick loves your plushie collection.

He doesn’t find it embarrassing in the slightest! If anything he finds it more offensive that you’d think it embarrassing having plushies as an adult. After he himself has a plush bunny dressed in his nightwing attire -escrima sticks and all- that he won at an arcade game a while back perched on the top of his bed back home.

He calls it dick jr and cuddles it when he has a rough night of crime fighting.

So he’s the last person to ever cast judgment on your plush collection.

If anything he lets his imagination run wild with them and takes full advantage of them. So if the instance came where you weren’t home, Dick would always send you photos and mini videos of him taking excellent care of a plush hare called Sir John Roderick Wellington the third by tucking him in bed at night, pretending to brush his teeth, etc

Or he’d make enact a photo shoot with a couple of them and send the results to you as your left asking where’d he manage to get all sorts of accessories for them…you’re still awaiting the answer to this day. Another thing he’d do with them is take them with him as company while he’s doing mundane chores in the apartment and act as though the plush is helping him.

You were quick to catch on that Dick having a hell of blast with it with how often he spammed your phone with a plethora of photos and videos that kept you up to date with the daily misadventures of your plushy. And yet you weren’t any better either as you kept them all in a album in your phone and are still wondering why your phone keeps informing you that you are running low on space…

Your favourite picture of your plushy was one where Dick had it tucked in bed, a picture of you on its lap, meanwhile Dick’s face could be seen peaking up from the bottom corner of the screen followed by the caption; ‘he misses you and can’t wait for you to come home and cuddle him. Oh and also me. :(

It’s became your Home Screen now and it was the best decision you’ve been made because it never failed to make you smile even on a bad day.

Jason loves it when you wear his clothes.

It’s free therapy for the man seeing you in his clothes and you can quote me on that.

He fucking loved coming home to see you do your own thing while looking all comfortable and relaxed in his shirts or hoodies doing so. For all Jason could ever want for you was for you to feel comfortable with him however you saw fit.

Also it gives him the more reason to stare at you shamelessly, well more than he did already, but you get the point. Jason is a simple man who’s not above letting it known how much he absolutely adores you.

So you wearing his clothes only added onto that adoration that he had for you. No one else could be more perfect in his eyes then you and he stands by that that statement.

‘You look perfect.’ -Jason

‘Jason, I’m wearing sweats and one of your shirts while eating pizza.’ -you

‘Yeah, perfect.’ -Jason

‘Doofus.’ -you, smiling.

Some days Jason would even go out of his way to leave his clothes on your side of the bed as a hint that he wants you to wear it for the day. Other days however he would be outright and blunt with the fact that he’d rather have you in his clothes than your own at this point.

‘Why are you wearing your clothes?’ - Jason

‘Because they’re my clothes and I feel bad wearing all of yours all the time.’ -you

‘Well I on the other hand don’t, take this shirt and go back into our bedroom and change.’ - Jason says as he takes off the shirt he was wearing and hands it to you, uncaring of the fact that he was shirtless in the living room.

‘You’re being dramatic Jason.’ - you as you take the warm shirt from his hands.

‘No I’m not, I just like you in my clothes a lot better than anything else.’ - Jason said, crossing his arms over his chest.

‘You’re getting jealous over clothes now?’ - you asked, raising a brow.

‘Yes.’ Jason responds instantly. ‘Now for the sake of my sanity go back and put my shirt on please.’

You kiss his cheek before leaving for the bedroom to change. ‘If you insist.’

‘I heavily insist chipmunk.’ - Jason says as he watched you walk away before following after to grab another shirt.

Jason loves it when you’re in his clothes. It’s his greatest strength and his greatest weakness.

[shhh-secret-time]

Star Park AU: Stan Marsh Edition

-> Lives on Tegridy Farms with his family. His dad sold their house and moved them out to the valley when Stan was ten. (They're essentially where Marnie is in game.)

-> Sparky is still alive but he's getting older, so he sticks to laying on the porch waiting for Stan to get back

-> Plays football with Clyde, Craig, and Tolkien! Kenny and Cartman will join in sometimes and he practically drags Kyle out to join them.

-> He works for Joja Mart with his sister. They'd both rather work there than be near their dad.

》 He's saving up to move back to the city, or so he says. Truth be told he can't leave behind Sparky or his Mom.

-> He bought his own chicken coop and has a few chickens of his own.

-> He goes to the saloon every night, most nights by himself

-> But on Fridays, after Jimmy's comedy act, him and his band will play!

-> On Sundays when everyone else is in church or doing their own thing. Stan and Kyle will go up to the summit past the railroad tracks and spend hours up there. Catching up and just unwinding.

-> He probably has a mini event that's kind of like Sam's 2 heart event, where he asks the Farmer what type of music they like.

Gift Guide:

Loves: Pizza, Survival Burger, Book of Mysteries, Frozen Tears, Beer (This changes after Heart Event 6)

Likes: Joja Cola, Apples, All Eggs, Void Esscene, Large Milk

Neutral: All Fruit (Except Apples), Coffee, Peppers

Dislikes: Fertilizer, Daffodil, Any Fish, Pink Cake

Hates: Rabbit Foot, Coleslaw, Clay, Beer (After Heart Event 6)

Loved: "Dude! Are you sure?! Man this rules!"

Liked: "Oh, uh thanks! Should I get you something back?"

Neutral: "Cool, I'll find a use for it."

Disliked: "What...is this? Why?"

Hated: "What the fuck were you thinking?"

Given any alcohol after Heart Event 6: "Why would you give me this?! You know I'm trying to stop!"

Heart Event @ 2:

Stan is throwing empty beer bottles at the passing train, they shatter just as the Farmer approaches him. He looks back at them with a grin offering one for them to throw. He mentions that he was drinking with his friend Kenny but he had to go, so now he's just passing time. He's not quite drunk yet but he's tipsy. When the Farmer takes the bottle and throws it he relaxes a little, says that he's glad they're not put off by the behavior. After a little bit of silence, he asks them why they moved to the Valley. There's not a lot of money in farming and then makes a comment about how he fucking hates it. How he feels isolated from the rest of the town sometimes.

-> Feels that way sometimes doesn't it? But at least you have your friends (+)

-> You're literally closer to town than I am, don't your friends come to visit you? (-)

If First Option: He mulls it over and decides you're right. He should he grateful he at least has them. Though lately it feels like they're drifting apart. Stan comments how you must feel lonely being new to town and all.

"Oh well. I guess we can be lonely losers together. Farmer buddies and all that."

If Second Option: Stan doesn't really appreciate the sass. He wasn't looking for a pity party, just wanted to kinda vent. He makes note not to talk about it again.

"Yeah sure. I guess, but you didn't have to be a dick about it."

Heart Event @ 4:

Stan and his friends are playing pool at the tavern, a rare instance where they're all off work and finally get to hang out. He leans over the pool table and sinks another ball, much to Kyle's annoyance. As the Farmer comes in Cartman makes a comment that Kyle is getting his ass kicked and bad. It prompts Kyle to snap at him and shake the pool cue at him. Kenny and Stan laugh a little before Stan realizes you're there. He smiles and gestures for you to come over! Now that you're here they have enough for teams. Farmer is confused because there's already four of them, they make five. Stan whispers in their ear, explaining that Cartman won't play with Kyle anymore. He lost one time and now he's convinced that Kyle cheated. Something about how there's no way Kyle would ever actually win a game fair and square. When you agree he gets excited and before anyone else gets the chance he announces that you'll be on his team!

"Awesome! We're gonna smoke these guys! Kenny wrack 'em! Farmer is with me!"

⚠️ TW: Attempted suicide ahead ⚠️

Heart Event @ 6:

Stan's drinking again. Right next to the railroad tracks but this time he's got one foot on the railroad, rocking back and forth. There's glass bottles around him, unbroken and too many to count. He almost stumbles down to the ground but he keeps himself up. Farmer approaches and that's when they hear the sound of the train coming in, and it's coming fast. Stan had no intentions on moving, in fact he looks like he's about to fall forward willingly. The dead look in his eyes tells them that much. Farmer runs across the field and tackles him into the ground, the train narrowly missing the both of them. Stan lays there having just had the wind knocked out of him. His head is spinning and he feels sick, but he also feels the Farmer on his chest and his back against the ground. He's not dead. Then it hits him, you almost died to save him. You who's kept talking to him despite everything, even when he was being an ass.

"You....you could have gotten yourself killed why would you do that?"

-> I couldn't just stand there and watch you die Stan!

-> Are you crazy?! You almost got us both killed!

-> I don't know...my legs just moved on their own.

-> (Just hug him)

If First Option: Stan starts crying and presses his palms into his eyes. He lays there and sobs, but he feels safe enough to do it.

"Hey Farmer...hic...can you help me to Kyle. I'm scared."

If Second Option: He grits his teeth and digs his hand into the dirt. Stan knows what he did was crazy, he can't be mad at you for snapping like that. You just saved his life. But he didn't ask you to.

"Fuck...I know. Look, just help me get to Kyle. I think I'm gonna be sick."

If Third Option: Stan doesn't know what to say but he thinks he gets it. He just closes his eyes and tries to stop the dizzy ride his drunken state is on. He doesn't want to move but he can't just lay here all day.

"Do you think Kyle is gonna yell at me...if I show up looking like this? Maybe if I just go to sleep I won't have to think about it."

If Fourth Option: Stan freezes he wasn't expecting the Farmer to do that. They should be angry with him, furious. But they're hugging him and clinging to him for dear life. His life. Stan wraps his arms around them and starts to cry. It's the most vulnerable he's been with anyone in a long time.

"Shit...fuck dude...just please don't let me go. I don't wanna go. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Heart Event @ 8:

It's early morning when the Farmer steps out, they're greeted with the sound of music. Stan is sitting on their porch playing his old guitar, the acoustic one that's seen better days. When the Farmer gets closer he looks up at them for a moment, unable to look them in the eye for too long. After a moment of silence, he tells them that Kyle got it out of storage for him. Says it'll help him focus on something other than the withdrawals and that Kyle put him in contact with a therapist. He thanks the Farmer for saving his life, and apologizes that they had to see that. As he plays a somber tune again he makes a comment, this is the first time he's been on their farm. First time he's been out this way since they moved into the valley. He confesses that your farm is a lot nicer than his dad's and that maybe farming isn't so bad. Farmer sits beside him and he quietly continues playing, they've never heard him play this song before.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry I've been a jerk to you. You and Kyle shouldn't have to take care of me, but you did. You care and I should remember that. Sparky would have been really upset if I never came home. So thanks...for everything."

When given the bouquet:

"!! I don't understand why you'd choose me, but...I'm selfish and I want you all to myself. So I accept!"

Heart Event @ 10:

Stan is leading Farmer past the railroad tracks, he doesn't even seem bothered much anymore to be here. He leads them up the path that he's taken a thousand times. There he leads them to the summit, his favorite spot to be at. They sit together at the edge if the cliff with their legs dangling off the side. He admits to them that he liked coming up here a lot as a kid, when his dad and him would fight it was his little hiding spot. Then he brought Kyle and it became special. The days where he'd get stupid drunk he'd think about just falling forward like that day with the train. But it's because of those amazing memories with his best friend, he could never bring himself to do it. They're special and he wouldn't want to ruin them for Kyle. It's things like that, that remind him why he's alive. Things like you. He smiles at the Farmer and tells you this. Tells Farmer he wants to continue to make more memories with them so he has a reason. His hand inches closer to theirs, not quite touching. Before he can pull away, Farmer takes his hand and slides closer to him. They rest their head on his shoulder and look up towards the big illuminated moon that's in front of them. Stan wraps his arm around them and lays his cheek on top of their head.

"Every moment with you reminds me why I'm here. I'm not...perfect and I don't think I'll ever understand why you choose to stick around. But I meant what I said, I want you around me always. I can breath with you around."

Heart Event @ 14:

Stan's outside playing with Sparky and Farmer's pet, when he moved in he brought his beloved dog with him. Sparky seems to be getting better every day he's here and Stan couldn't be happier. Farmer walks up with hearts in their eyes, making him a little bashful. He rubs the back of his neck just as Sparky brings the ball back. He mentions that he really loved animals, and that he's always had a soft spot for them. Farmer questions him about his love for Survival Burgers, which he quickly points out that they're made of Cave Carrot NOT beef! After a little while of playing with the pets he sits in the field with them, looking over their hardwork. Stan turns red and starts ranting about how the last time he went to visit his dad, he started nagging him about grandkids. He's embarrassed because Randy has never mentioned it before and it makes him uncomfortable.

"He's such an ass! You'd think he'd stop trying to tell me how to live my life after I moved out. Why doesn't he bother Shelly with this?!"

-> He probably does. We don't have to have kids if you don't want them! I'm just happy you're here with me! Don't let him get to you!

-> Don't let your dad pressure you into anything you're not ready for. It's our relationship and we'll decide when and if we want kids. But if you're anything like you are with Sparky towards kids, I think you'd be a great dad!

If First Option: Stan grins and tells them they're right as always. He leans down and kisses the top of their head. Sparky walks over with the Farmer's pet and lays in their lap. Stan smirks and makes a comment about how they could just get another dog.

"Our farm is big enough for another one right? We could get one or two more puppies. They could help with the sheep and chickens! Help dig holes!"

If Second Option: Stan says he'll think on it. Later that night while Farmer is cleaning up the dishes and putting them away. Stan walks up behind them and wraps his arms around them. He murmurs in their ear that he's been doing nothing but thinking about what they said. The thought of starting a family with them is starting to sound appealing, plus it could be fun raising a mini them. He presses a kiss into their temple.

"You really think I'll make a good dad? I just don't wanna end up like mine...but if you're with me I think I could do it. And if they're anything like you, they'll be an amazing kid."

Random Marriage Quotes!!

"You looked really adorable asleep last night...you also drooled on my arm."

"Having a bad thought day...I might be a little off today. I'm sorry."

"Babe, you got dirt on your face. C'mere, let me clean it. Just let me take care of you butthead!"

"Sparky and I watered the crops today! How do you know how much to give them? I feel like I'm drowning them."

"Fed the animals! They're doing great! Would...you judge me if I took a nap out in the field with them?"

"Hey...real quick...I uh- I love you. I know I don't say it enough and I'm sorry, but I really do."

"Morning. Made you some pancakes! I stole the recipe from my mom! Why do you look scared?"

"Hey babe, I'm going to visit my parents today. Please feel free to come save me when you're done doing what you need to do."

"Are you coming to the tavern tonight? We're playing a new song tonight, I wrote it for you."

"You know, when I was a kid, when I got nervous, I'd throw up. You make me nervous sometimes but I- hey! I'm not going to puke on you, I'm not twelve. Get back here!"

Tag List: @hunnysnoops

[jo-harrington]

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 29 - Behind the Music

Summary: What happens when Corroded Coffin stars in their first documentary?

Word Count: 986

Rating: T

Warnings/Themes: Boys Will Be Boys Shenanigans, Humor, tiny bit of angst, FOI references, Dustin Henderson is a little shit, semi-related to my fic Best Spring Break Ever

Note: OH GOD, ok I may or may not have taken liberties with this one. Maybe because my friends and I did a dumb ass thing like this when we were teenagers fucking around with a video camera. JUST...it's gonna be fine guys.

Check Out the Main Post for @corrodedcoffinfest here! Even if you didn’t start on Day 1, you can still join!

Tagging: @the-unforgivenn at her request.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

"Do you guys want to help us with a project for AV Club?"

The entire lunch table stopped their conversing and turned their attention to a nervous Dustin Henderson.

"Oh no," Gareth scoffed. "We're not helping you with another nerd project like we did during Spring Break."

"It's not a nerd project!" Lucas protested.

"If it's for AV it's a nerd project," Dave said matter-of-factly.

“Whatever it is, I’m not driving you guys around again,” Eddie interjected, “the van still smells like old socks and cheese ball farts.”

“Ed, I think that’s just what the van smells like,” Jeff failed to contain his laughter.

“Come on you guys had fun last time,” Mike argued. “And this time you won’t even have to do anything except sit there, look cool, and talk about Corroded Coffin!”

It was like a record scratch, all of the hemming and hawing ceased and, instead, the older boys asked how they could help, all while the freshmen looked like the cat that got the cream.

Turns out the project was another scholarship thing--who knew that they gave out AV Club scholarships--to film some kind of amateur documentary.

They were sure was an easy win before they even filmed a single piece of footage.

"No one else is gonna do one about a garage band," he said confidently. "We just film you guys performing, maybe get some b-roll of you setting things up--"

"Alright," Eddie agreed.

"--and a few interviews where you share your pet peeves and darkest secrets." It was said with the utmost nonchalance.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah," Dustin grinned. "It'll win for sure. Corroded Coffin: The Ups, Downs, and Upside Downs of an Indiana Garage Band. Uh...the title is a work in progress."

It took bribery in the form of Claudia Henderson's Scotcheroo Bars before they finally agreed.

It happened over the course of two weeks; two cameras--one belonging to the Wheelers and one borrowed from the Hawkins High AV department--along with all sorts of equipment were toted all around Hawkins. Claudia even chaperoned them on a Tuesday night so they could get footage at the Hideout.

When all was said and done, and the documentary was ready, they all posted up in the Wheeler's basement with pizza, popcorn, and soda.

The freshmen each gave speeches before starting the projector, laughing along as the older boys heckled them.

"So without further ado," Dustin announced as they took their seats. "Behind the Music."

The video started off with hazy colors and sloppy B-roll, a title card courtesy of Will's artistic talents, and Lucas's narration about the most metal garage band in the state, and then immediately cut to footage of the band performing at the Hideout.

"Shit we look so good!" Gareth got to his feet and clapped immediately, then grabbed Dustin by the shoulders and shook him.

"Quiet, sit down!" The others shoved him so he would get back into his seat.

Over the course of ten minutes, they covered all manner of topics. From how the guys all met, to where they learned how to play, to how they chose their songs.

The basement was tense by the time they reached some more delicate topics; specifically, what the worst part of being in the band was.

"Eddie's a turd burglar," Dave sighed on screen. "Got a real stick up his ass...can I say ass?"

The video then cut to Eddie.

"Nobody listens to me," he whined. "I'm the oldest, the leader. Shit, I've been in the band longer than any of them have. This is my band."

Next was Jeff.

"He said that?" the younger guitarist scoffed. "He's one to talk when he tried to abandon the band and make it on his own a few years ago. Is he the worst member of the band? No, I think that's Gareth. He's our drummer and he can't even stay on tempo! Messes us all up."

It kept going and going, and as they watched each other absolutely lose it on screen, the members of Corroded Coffin all sunk into their seats in shame.

The screen faded to black and it was silent. So silent you could hear a pin drop.

Of course this was the perfect timing for Mike to shovel popcorn into his mouth.

Then soft strumming began; the screen faded into Eddie sitting outside of Hawkins High with his guitar, fiddling with it and then scribbling in his notebook.

"If it's so hard sometimes," narrator Lucas asked via voiceover, "why do you keep doing it?"

Gareth and Jeff entered into the shot from offscreen and Eddie's face went from concentration to joy seeing them. He waved them over and started talking animatedly. Dave was quick to join from another direction, immediately ruffling Gareth's hair as he reached them.

"Because of the music," Eddie answered in the voiceover, and then the scene changed to the shot of him in the drama room where he did his interview. "And because they're my best friends."

The basement suddenly got less tense, and the guys clapped each other on the shoulders.

The shot transitioned to Dave.

"I used to be a loser at my old school," he scoffed. "I had friends but...Corroded Coffin? I feel like I belong in this band. Belong with these guys. I haven't even known them for that long. That's gotta mean something."

Then Jeff had his own words of wisdom.

"I think I wanted to quit one time; when Eddie quit...it was hard, without him. And my dad said if I really wanted to make music work I had to work hard."

The scene switched back to the Hideout, in slow motion, as Jeff continued.

"Nothing good was ever worth it if it wasn't hard work. So yeah it's hard but we keep playing and keep fighting, and then someone farts and we laugh it all off and start over again.

The screen faded to black.

"Together."

[sorchathered]

Heard it through the grapevine

A/N- SNB Chapter 8 is coming on Wednesday, but to tie you all over here is a one shot of what’s been going on with Bradley in the aftermath of Mirage’s pregnancy announcement. Thank you guys for sticking with me on this journey!

Pairing- Bradley Bradshaw x OC (Mirage/Erin Riley)

Warnings- language, drinking, Bradshit being an idiot

Summary- Bradley is hungover as hell the morning after Mav’s wedding, what the did he get himself into overnight?

————————————————————————-

Bradley had fucked his social life up to the highest degree in the past 6 months but even he had to admit this shit took the cake.

He’d gotten completely trashed last night, after months of trying to get sober, because his biggest insecurity played out right before his eyes. He’d be an idiot to deny he’d never been worried about Jake getting in the middle of his relationship over the past few years, the man had an ego the size of his home state and he wasn’t bad to look at either. But you had always insisted it was platonic, never given him a single reason to doubt you, yet it somehow never stopped the jealousy that bloomed in him when he saw the two of you together. It was stupid really, he’d been the one to cheat on you in the end and burn everything he’d thought he wanted to the ground, but watching your former fiancée make out with the guy he’d always worried about and then get whisked away to no doubt fuck each others brains out stung a little. So he did what he knew best, drown himself in bourbon and promptly pass out at home, or at least that’s what he thought had happened.

He woke up the next morning feeling worse than he had after that rager in his frat house right before graduation, every step had him convinced he was going to throw up everywhere but his tiny french bulldog was a force of nature and she was insistent that they go outside. He was half dressed in his suit from the night before, no idea where his phone could be but that was a worry for future Bradley, right now he needed aspirin and coffee. Still trying to piece together what had happened in the aftermath, it looked as though he’d made quick work of destroying the leftover pizza and most of the lasagna he’d made earlier in the week, clearly couldn’t be bothered to close the fridge as the damn thing was wide open when he entered the room. The last of his expensive bourbon was gone, and it looked like he was out of beer as well. What a mess. As he set about to clean things up he heard his doorbell go off, then someone beating on his front door, what the hell could possibly be this important on a Sunday morning? He grumbled all the way to the entryway, flinging it open to find his best friend Natasha Trace looking even more pissed off than normal, clearly he’d fucked something up judging by the rage on her features.

“I’ve been calling you for HOURS! What did you do just fall off the face of the damn planet?!” She said as she elbowed her way into his living room, he didn’t have the energy for this he was sure but there was no point in stopping her now.

“I was asleep, and honestly I don’t know where the hell my phone went, I’m hungover as fuck right now Nat so can we just skip to the part where you tell me what I did wrong and yell at me?”

She rounded on him and he staggered back, a little nervous until he saw the look of pity across her face. “Bradley we need to find your phone, but first I need to show you something.”

He was going to pass out, he was sure of it. As she scrolled through her instagram to the profile of the girl he definitely shouldn’t still be sleeping with he was almost hopeful that she’d decided to move on from him and posted a new boyfriend, but he knew he couldn’t be that lucky and after all she had just been at his house earlier in the week, if she was seeing someone else she would’ve told him. Right?

What he most certainly didn’t expect was to come across a set of photos, pictures the two of them had taken and never posted because it didn’t seem right, and at the end a picture of a onesie and a positive pregnancy test. Oh he was definitely going to be sick.

Nat had shoved him into the bathroom to shower while she made a pot of coffee and Bradley was frozen in place as he watched the bathroom steam up. How the hell had he let this happen? Why wouldn’t she have said something to him before posting about it? He picked up his phone and looked at the photos again, he did like Mirage despite the circumstances that had started their entanglement, she was funny and very pretty, impulsive yes but he wouldn’t have thought she’d do this to him. He opened his texts to message her, they needed to sit down and discuss this in person, but as he opened them he realized just how drunk he’d been last night. There in the messages were all the answers he wanted, she had in fact told him first and he had told her to go for it about posting the announcement. He was such an idiot, how did he let himself get this way? He needed to piece together the rest of his night and fast, so he shot her a quick message to come over and jumped in the shower. He didn’t know how to fix this, but he knew he couldn’t avoid it this time.

Nat was furious with him, she’d found out through Stormy about everything leading up to their breakup and now finding out that he’d somehow green lit this pregnancy announcement while black out drunk had her fuming. “Do I need to pack you up and send you to a rehab facility Rooster?! What the hell has been going through your head lately?” She was shaking her head between death glares, in his entire navy career he’d always had Nat, since they met in training as young kids, and she’d never been angrier than she was right now. “I know Nat, I know I fucked it all up, but I can’t change it now. All I can do is sit down with Mirage and see how to go forward with this, I-I’m going to be a dad…Holy shit how the hell am I supposed to do this? What if I fuck this kid up? What if I-“ she puts her hand up to silence him, he’s spiraling now and that’s not going to help anyone.

“We are going to work this out ok? Just take a breath, we also need to find you a better therapist because this guy is obviously not teaching you anything beneficial.” She wasn’t wrong, the guy clearly just phoned it in and received his paycheck, Bradley had been going through the motions but not making any real progress. It was times like these he longed to have his parents around, maybe then everything wouldn’t have gotten so out of control.

Within the hour Mirage was at his door, Bradley let her in with a small smile and gestured for her to sit down, but when she saw Natasha she wavered; looking back at Bradley like a deer in headlights. “Relax Erin, I’m not here to whack you, I’m just moral support.” She says with an eye roll, and the girl, albeit irritated, finds a seat on the couch. “So I take it from your texts you drank a little too much last night, I had a feeling you’d be upset after the wedding but I didn’t think you’d forget our conversation entirely” she was frustrated, he knew she would be, especially considering how important that conversation was. “Look, Erin I know I keep fucking it up. I’m a mess, I never should have dragged you into it in the first place but here we are. I’m going to try at this, and you give me all the hell you need to because I really do want to make this work. If you want us to be a real family we can work at it, or if you just want me to co-parent I’ll respect your choices, but no matter what got us here I’m not going to keep letting you down.” He knew he didn’t have a right to promise anything, and he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t make a mistake again, but he knew what life was like without a dad, and he couldn’t let that happen to his child. His child. He was going to be a father.

——————————————————————

Before he knew it 6 months had passed, He and Erin had been going to couples therapy on top of seeing a new therapist for himself and Bradley could say with confidence he’d been sober for all of it. He wasn’t going to the bar like he used to, instead choosing to come home in the evenings to binge tv and cook dinner with his girlfriend. They had found out just last week that they were having a little boy, Nicholas Bradshaw jr. and truly Bradley couldn’t believe how well things had been going.

He’d been transferred to the Golden Warriors, still working out of North Island but no longer actively working with the Daggers, and while initially it had hurt he knew it had been for the best. His relationship with Jake had boiled over into his work life and he agreed that it was best that they work apart. Life was going well, which usually meant the other shoe was about to drop but he was feeling pretty confident. Until one fateful evening when he received a call after work from a distraught Maverick, Stormy’s plane had gone down over the Atlantic and she was in critical condition. Jake and Admiral Simpson were heading to Walter Reed in Maryland to meet her and they didn’t know when or if she’d wake up. He didn’t know what he could possibly do to help, and without realizing he had already dialed the number of his old wingman. No answer, which he expected but he left a voicemail of support nonetheless. Whatever happened now all he could do was pray that the kindest girl he’d ever met would be ok.

————————————————————————

Tagging- @mamamaystbr @mamachasesmayhem @bobgasm @attapullman @roosterforme @floydsglasses @shanimallina87 @jessicab1991 @the-aspiring-fanfic-writer @djs8891 @mrsevans90 @pinkdaisies9285 @nouis-bum @86laura11 @angelbabyyy99 @dizzybee03 @mygyn @jostan456 @dempy @its-the-pilot @kmc1989

[swampgallows]

this was the longest amount of time i got to be away from my family since zbfcon in 2021. it was so rejuvenating. i posted pics but i didn't post about the event itself yet: threefour was indeed a success. everything went better than i could have imagined, and im glad the park i was planning to use as a last minute backup instead turned out to be absolutely ideal. the weather was perfect. we were pretty isolated but there were occasionally people walking their dogs nearby, so we got a lot of great dog sightings. the sound was loud enough that it was great to jam out to, but didn't carry too far from our setup to potentially disrupt anyone else (though it was pretty empty altogether). everyone tested negative, and everyone was glad to see each other. it was bittersweet how effortless it all felt (despite the great deal of effort on my part emotionally and otherwise, and for everyone else who helped me make it happen) and how it seemed like no time had passed at all. it was very reassuring that friends who i hadn't seen in years made it out and offered to test any time we might want to hang out again in the future.

i want to find out more about potentially throwing covid safe events so that i can rave in earnest again. i don't want to have to be the one responsible for events happening, but no one else is making it happen, so i may have to. or at least reach out and work with someone willing to throw accessible events. if airgasmic can do it for the drag scene, there's no reason why the rave scene can't put its heads together for tested, ventilated, possibly air filtered events. i already have so many ideas for events where its filtration and safety could be incorporated into the theme, playing on things like purification and ultraviolet, or emphasis on being outdoor/open air. and i think honestly so many people would want to come out for it knowing that there was that extra bit of relief, even if only subconsciously. even for my tiny party, it was fortifying hearing how many people there were happy to be at something they knew was making an effort to be safe, and how for a handful of people who couldn't come, they very much wanted to -- both for me, and because of the inherent safety of the event. many might not be willing to admit it, and maybe they don't even want to think about it, but having both this event and just being alive the last 4 years have shown me that people are more concerned about covid than they let on. and i don't mean that as a "gotcha" or anything; more so that people were so much more visibly chill and relaxed without that spectre hanging over their heads. there was an unspoken sense of relief, and even some covid venting knowing that i understood. overall a very positive experience. I'm so thankful.

also i got two enormous pizzas. like cartoonishly large. one plain cheese, one pepperoni, both 28" in diameter. and it was really fucking good pizza. can't beat that with a stick

[ghostwing404]

Memories of a Ronin, A Future Leo Au that has been floating around my head for WEEKS.

Look one of my first ACTUAL post's on tumblr, Elow hoomans! So recently ive been apsolutely obsessed with Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, ROTTMNT. Ive scrounged up all content i can find on them and espetually on the Future Timeline from the Movie, (and the movie in general, Technodrome My Beloved) but this idea in piticular has been floating around in my Brain juices for a bit. Everything goes the same initally, Mikey open's the portal, Casey goes through and yes Leo Dies...but not really. His fam, or some bored Deity wanting to see him both suffer more and heal throws his memories back in time, and only his memories. so shortly after the Shredder is taken down and our boi's are healing from that and the sudden increse in Goverment intrest in Mutants and Yokai (they blew a fucking hole through new york from the hidden city that was Seen from SPACE. The world would have noticed that and you can't tell me EPF isnt imediately Swarming.) plus finding a new home and a long list of other stuff Leo begins having odd Dreams and nightmares, at first its just small things, Flashes of fights yet to occur, both from years in the future and litterally a few hours from now, then they start getting a little too spicific, Mikey and him Eating with "Casey" This kid who he seems to care alot about who looks a bit like Foot Recruit, A Fight alongside Raph who looks much older and is missing an eye, Teleporting around like he was born too and then later memories lacking any Mystic's from him at all. The first real Horrid one he has despite the Mess of dead bodies and horridly messy Kraang Zombies he see's nightly already keeping him from sleep is him loosing his arm, he feels it from his own eyes, just like everything else he's seeing in these dreams, their like Memories and alike memories their not always that clear but this...this was far to...detailed. He Can remember what he saw but while in the Dreams he knows he has more Context, details that slip when he wakes up. some eventually stick, like Casey's name was initally slipping and then Stuck better after a dream where Casey saved him from a fucking Lazer when the kid was like 9...he knows by his own orders the kid wasnt allowed out of the base for a full 3 months after that one cus it scared him so much. As his current life calms down, they settle into the new lair and things go mostly back to normal, With Leo's only worry being Raph's constant attacks on his Judgement as leader (and his messy attempts at being leader...), Donnie fighting The Purple Dragons randomly again over some sort of Shitty charity (its Autism speaks and they faught over it at first, relized they were both trying to tear it apart and started working together to take it down, then faught again on who got to keep the money...) And Mikey's art started to make the place feel more like home his nightmares started to get worse. For almost a year straight Leo spent his waking hours trying to do his job as leader right, and living life and his "Sleeping Hours" trying to not sleep by any means nessicary or wimmpering in his sleep as another person dies on his orders or he finds another Scull of someone who was once an Ally...or he watches Raph Die...that was the worst and when his brothers truely saw the extent of these nightmares. They knew he's been having them but he's always had a hard time sleeping and they assumed it was just from the new stress of being leader and what happened with the Shredder which they were all having nightmares about. then the Screaming, it would be the middle of the day (Da Boi's are Nocturnal) 3pm and Donnie (Twin things) and quite often Mikey and Raph would wake up to Sobbing or screaming from Leo's room. it became routine when this happened for one of them to go and just Sit with him till he woke up because they learned pretty early on, you cannot try to Wake him up or Pizza Forbid Touch him because he will come up Swinging and he does have rather long Claws (Raph has a nasty Scar on his arm from one of these incidents)

And because tumblr decided to be funny and DELETE MY WHOLE FUCKING DRAFT! Ima just give you the TLDR- Future Leo's memories are sent to the past somehow and Mini Leo starts getting them as Nightmares or odd feeling first person dreams that he remembers too well just after the shredder incident, they get worse as things calm down and the bois find a new lair and then rather suddenly get better (for everyone else, Leo just remembered how to Cry Silently on instinct because as the leader of the resistance and dealing with nightmares for over 20 years by boi is VERY good at silently going through it on instinct.) life goes back to normal, Leo's an oddly good leader now taking things seriously and life is good though everyone is noticing something off about Leo as time goes on. a Bad fight with a Newer, more ruthless and unfamiliar villain causes those worries to be quickly justified as Leo kills at least half of them after Mikey is taken down hard enough to lightly crack his shell. he runs off and the group gets a distress signal from across the city almost 3 hours later, they find him bloody and missing his fucking arm with zero explanation as too why or how. (he Cut it off during his Mental break and in the process got back ALL his memories. Why? Imagine being a 38 year old War vet who just lost aforementioned war and then your suddenly shoved into your 15-16 year old self's body but not really cus its just him getting your memories, on the flip side imagine being a carefree 15 year old teen who's lived his life in reckless abandon for years learning not only does one of his own mistakes cause the apocalypse but he's not even really himself anymore as he forcefully is given the memories of his future self. ya that's alot my dude, id have a mental break and cut off the arm i already lost too. anyways that happens, Leo now has to carefully keep up appearances while looking for the key (he made up a good story to explain the missing arm.) he finds the Key, makes an excused about Spending the night with Cassandra (they have been getting closer to her recently) and Steals it, then ends up fighting his brothers because unlike his normal teams of Highly trained miliary soldiers he's instead stuck with 3 chaotic teenage brothers who will easily run off on a mission without So much as Leaving a note for their Leader. Because of that oversight and Leo refusing to reveal his identity beleving he needs to keep the key away from his family too the world is once again in danger because of one Hamato Leonardo. Hours later he's making plans with his brothers to get the damn thing back before they start the ritual (only thing they know so far is that thing is very dangerous in the foot clan's hands and they NEED to get it back imediately, Leo is still Leo so seeing him this damn serious about something makes them all listen) then of of course April comes in with a certain Casey Jones JR and Leo almost breaks, Casey wakes up in barely 5 minutes and the 2 imediately star talking in this...well is defentally a code of some kind (Basicly a bunch of languages, Conlangs and Literial word codes hiding under a trench coat pretending to be a single language, Grammar doesn't exist here and Donnie (whos the one that made it) is Absolutely appalled... no one can understand a lick of it but whatever they just talked about seems to have been agreed on and Leo's now updating their plan to include this RANDOM FUCKING KID WHO AMBUSED APRIL. a light explanation that they know each other and Shadow (Casey short for Shadow Scull a nickname he gave himself when he was 6 and that he never really escaped) was here to help them. This time they get the Key and Leo literally sends it to the fucking SUN but of course everyone is very concerned about WTF is going on with Leo (which is now becoming far more apparent as he interacts with Shadow...something changed) Of course Foot clan are still stupid and Fucking Stubborn and thus we begin dealing with the foot's shenanigans plus Leo's odd behavior, at the same time! woo.

Original inspiration from here and my own Brain mostly.

Spelling went to die i regret nothing

[angelnumber1]

Scum Villain Self Saving System mini fic for the Himbo in SVSSS AU I’ve been discussing with @rarepears

Contains vaguely NSFW content and features OCs (Original Characters)

(The NSFW is comedic in nature)

I... was really really lost. Like. I don’t even know the language lost.

Calls don’t work lost.

Weird animals and plants lost.

Some other thing that shows how lost I am lost.

But I still have Wi-Fi? But maps don’t work. It’s all in Chinese right now. Weird.

It’s just. Like.

I know I’m from America, melting pot and all, but this is just weird!

There’s no way crazy cult villages are THAT close to college right?!

Well… at least all this running makes for a good workout. Though I’ll need some fuel soon, track team’ll kill me if I pull a Devon.

Oh right! I’ve got some of those off-brand meat sticks one of the clubs were selling!

They really fucked up the shape though.

Well. It’s nearly sunset so I can use the stars or something to find my way back. There were these three stars by the campus that looked kind of like a short dick if you looked at it from the science building.

We named it Peen-ience.

I followed Peen-ience to get back to the campus once, did walk in on a ‘bros group project’ first though. We named Peen-ience really well.

Welp. Gotta get some grub now. Wish I could just order pizza or something… I’m even wearing pizza pinks right now! Nice fuzzy robe one of the seniors bought me after he showed me this cool club.

Wait! Gotta get food. Um. Ok. You can do this.

Shit.

There’s nothing here!

And I need to piss too…

Sorry trees… and bushes… and random vines that keep trying to trip me…

I’m answering nature’s call right now and they don’t take no for an answer.

So sorry plants!

…oh yeah, plants like this actually.

Wow these plants are weird! They’re grabbing my legs and kind of feel like those octopus suckers? Feels super tingly too!

I’ll just brush them off. Carefully though! I’m not going to harm the environment.

As I finished up my… business the world suddenly… changed, it’s got this pink tint too it! Ah. This is fine :) It happens.

Well I’ll just pull my pants back up and-

Mmh. My legs feel weird again… Why the fuck is someone grabbing my legs?!

Oh my gosh they’re covered in piss.

Pervert!?

Where did they come from!?

Or someone was sleeping where I pissed?!

And I didn’t notice!?

I’m not sure which is worse T-T can people get diseases from piss?

So. Um.

There’s just some guy? They’re kind of pretty with all that long hair so they could be a girl, or what if they identify as something else and I misgendered them!

But they keep trying to get more… of my… out of my… by. Mhn!

“S-Stop. C’mon that’s-that’s my. St-“ They keep. They’re. Stop it!

Should I punch them? Stranger danger?

But they look so skrunkly like a poor little green meow meow ;( so thin! And their hair is all messy! And they’re face is all… weird looking, in a pretty way, but that’s not the point!

They’re licking the piss off now.

Wait.

Were they drinking my! My!

I though they were trying to do something else…

…

Imma just…

Imma just leave.

This is getting weird!

…

With a quick few steps backward I easily get away. Glad I didn’t break any of those weird octopus vines though. Respect nature and all that right!

That guy must be super weak though- there was like, no strength to his grip at all. He must skip all the days. Smh I swear. If you skip leg day your glutes are being neglected but if you skip all the days you’ll fall down and break your hip or something.

But man! The sunset and this pink glow looks super cool! It’s like a scene in a web novel!

Oh? What’s that noise?

I heard some singing coming from my right. Some ultra-feminine high pitched voice piercing my ears, it feels… maybe I could head over and check it out?

Nah. Might be one of the people that chased me earlier.

As I headed away I felt almost like something inside of me increased? And when I concentrated on it I felt resistant to the singing? Weird.

Well I’ll just keep moving!

Some of the trees are blocking the sky over here. So I’ll have to find a clearing or something, oh right! Maybe I’ll be able to use my phone over there too!

…

The sun is nearly completely set by now. But look at this!

It’s so cool!

Wow this really is like a novel! There’s this huge clearing here and a little lake with a waterfall and tons of pretty plants!

Oh hey! It’s the green perv from before… maybe I’ll just stay at the edge of the clearing… this place has tons of other guys(? Weird cosplaying ten feet tall dudes? Oh silly! I’m probably hallucinating, I’m laying in a bunch of flowery bushes!)

The green perv looks a lot more human compared to the other dudes in the clearing, maybe he couldn’t get enough stuff to make his costume, well at least it doesn’t look like he’s covered in piss anymore.

In fact he looks tons better than earlier! Maybe it’s a different dude?

Suddenly my vision blurs. Or. A rectangle of my sight?

It’s really staticky though…

…Poison Resistance lv up!

Stealth lv up!

Experience Pasting Activated! Additional Experience added to%#&…

Retry…

Error. Error. Transmigration System. Prince Raising System not detected.

Additional.al.al eXp will be sent to storage.

Error. Invennnnnnnnnn.-

Nnntory does not exist.

Contacting world consciousness…

Errrrrr.

Con#+} {3wards t0 i.t3mized f0rm

.

.

.

I-

.

.

.

Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck! What the ever-loving holy shit is this bucket of crap?! This ain’t cosplay anymore!

With that. I felt weird. Empty. Likes there supposed to be something inside that really cool and I’m seriously missing out.

I feel really weird now… but stronger. And I have this Chinese style bag now. Some kind of pouch?

I don’t wanna think right now!… This is a killer headache…

.

.

.

Then another carfucking voice popped up.

And then a THIRD carfucker decided to bulldoze my head…

Carfuckers…

I got some new shit from that though. One of those hair crowns from Chinese movies. It looks like something a MC would wear!

I don’t think I can put it in my pockets with it poking me. But my hairs way too short and I have no idea how to wear it either.

Maybe ponytail style? I was supposed to get my hair cut next week so it should be long enough for a mini ponytail.

It’s really hard to put on without actually knowing how it supposed to go. And also that I’m not even trying to put it on the right way either.

But still, after a few more attempts and the help of a paper clip, I actually manage to put it on! Yay!

…

… it felt weird. Like my whole body was lighter. Still have that headache though.

Damn.

I must look like a cosplayer too now! My hair has a crown and I’m wearing a sleeping robe with a pouch hanging from the belt.

Suddenly another object appeared.

It fell on my head! Owwww…

It’s…

A jade hairpin with a little accessory dangling off it. The pin matches the crown! It looks super pretty. Maybe that guy from earlier needs one of these. His hair looked like tree vines from how messy it was.

I think I have to do something around now though?

Oh right. The stars. Why I came here and stuff.

I look up to the. The now night sky. Middle of the night kind of night sky.

Wait!

How long have I been laying here! It’s the middle of the night! And there are like- a bajillion stars. And my phone still can’t call anyone! But I still have service! And full charge too! Nice.

Huh. Wonder if the cosplayers are still here.

Peeking from the bushes I see most of them have already left. The perv and a few others are the only ones left. I hope they leave soon. I’m super thirsty! Can wait to guzzle up some of that life-liquid.

The other bros in the frat said not to say that out loud now that I think about it. They looked super red when I said that. Maybe it’s some slang I didn’t learn yet?

Hey! That big guy in the middle just hit the perv! It could be because he’s a perv though…

But he can’t keep doing it! And why are the other guys?… OH MY GOSH! Are they eating him!?

Um! Uh! I’ll throw this rock at them!

Picking up the rock I- crush it with my bare hands!? When did I get enough gains for that!

And! Oh. Shit. I’m standing in the middle of the clearing after making tons of noise by crushing a rock.

…Are they going to eat me too?

Frozen in place I stare them down, okay, just back up slowly… if a wall of clearly carnivorous plants weren’t trying to eat my ass!

I’ll fight them then!

Just have to brace my self and-

Oh. Oh wow these guys are weak.

Within moments I’m standing on top of a group of cosplayers. Well. Not anymore considering how broken the outfits are.

Walking over to the other guy I reach down, offering him my hand, I’m feeling a little like a hero. Though all I did was beat some guys up.

The perv though, he definitely doesn’t have manners! He just started licking the tree sap off my hands.

I pull my hands away. Seriously! This is why I’m calling you a perv in my head!

“You know what! Here eat this instead!” I knew they didn’t speak the same language but by anime if he wants something in his mouth at least have it be food!

He gingerly takes the offered food, for some reason he drapes some vines over it first, weird dude.

He seems to be inspecting the length of meat.

His eyes are trailing every inch as the vines tighten and greed sets into his eyes.

After letting the vines rest on the meat a bit longer he hungrily consumes it, shoving half of its length in.

It’s rather long and thick compared to most now that I think about it.

I can see something that I think is his tongue wrapping around fruitlessly trying to cover the entirety of its length.

It isn’t soon before his body starts to shudder at the unexpected gain, liquid flowing down his chin as he couldn’t even close his mouth.

The noises he’s making… wet, sticky sounding gags coming out as he’s forcing the meat into himself. And with a final shudder, he’s completely consumed the offered meat.

Well, while he did that I got some water to drink and started eating some fruit nearby. If you only eat meat you’ll get indigestion!

The rest of the group crawls over to me, I think they want some of it? I do clearly still have a few more and that guy really seemed to like it.

Or maybe not.

The group is just staring at me, the big one who I think was the leader, offers his head to me? No, he’s gesturing to the flower on top.

It’s a… sturdy flower. The color is really dense and the edges are spiked.

I wonder what kinds of plants these are? And if any can get rid of my headache. It hurts ;(

The other guy comes rushing over once he sees us, I can see the outline of my meat in his throat.

He gestured to the flower bud on his head, where did that come from?

It looks super soft though, maybe I’ll just touch it a little?

The bud trembles the moment I touch it, as I lightly run my finger on the light pink sides, he’s shivering as I slowly inspect it.

I lean down towards it, it’s actually kind of cute, and it seems like he doesn’t mind me touching him like this.

It looks really… delicious in all honesty, I want to bite it.

As I play with the bud it suddenly opens up!

Pale petals fill my visions and- oh my gosh it’s so soft!

I give the flower a little kiss for flowering for me.

I might not be able to find my way back but this is fun!

.

.

.

And that was an incredibly long snippet from my self indulgence. It was supposed to be short which is why it isn’t on ao3 instead.

Well anyways I hope whoever read it enjoyed it and feel free to direct any questions to my askbox though most of this AU will probably end up on @rarepears blog if they’re okay with it.

Also some of the little things in here like Devon and carfucker are from his fraternity.

Devon is a guy who forgot to eat or drink anything several practices in a row while another person decided to start saying swears differently as to not disrespect mothers.

The ‘people’ in the fic are plants based monsters and beasts whose hierarchy is based on size and traits.

Thicker, rougher and sharper flowers are seen as the stronger and better fed while softer ones are seen as weaker.

These creatures can reproduce asexually or by deflowering another and it works like crossbreeding.

It works with most species though humans need an extra push for it to work with them.

Our MC has abilities from three systems that are needed because he’s not supposed to have them unless he transmigrated to that world.

[sulky-star-cluster]

Black Star, are you giving me permission to populate your dimension? Because if you are, there will likely be neighbors soon. Possibly that father son Eclipse and Solar Flare from the dimension where you tried to get Blue Moon to murder that kill code who was still sharing a body with moon. Oh tell Blue Moon, the kill code and moon are separated so Blue Moon is welcome to go murder the neglectful kill code. Well the others might not be happy about it, but I'm not happy about the abandonment of ones' children so that kill code can fuck himself. I might seek out some others like Clipsy and Peanut who left their original dimension, maybe see if Atlas and Citrus want to set up a repair shop or something. I need to find someone or a group to set up a cat cafe somewhere nearby.

Since Gluttony already knows about the dimension, can he set up a library or something? He has a lot of books, like a lot, a lot; magic, cooking, science, stories, just a lot of possible things to read. Maybe the cat cafe would be a cat library.

*buzzing with excitement*

Black Star: I- ahh.

Rigel: I think you just accidentally invited every single universally displaced person in the universe.

Black Star: I didn't think about it that way. Um. I guess?

Rigel: Wait you're actually letting this happen!?

Black Star: Look there's no one else here. As long as they don't bother us here in the pizza place, I don't see any bad in it.

Rigel: There's tons of things that could go bad! We can all be judged for our crimes!

Black Star: Yeah well. We're the ones letting them into this universe. Plus it's not like we have to interact with them on a friendly level. We can simply barter and deal with them if you don't want to interact.

Rigel: But what if there's like a moon that wants to hunt us down for our crimes?!

Black Star: Well we aren't going to be there eclipse. They might hate us maybe, But as far as I know Moon won't get upset with other universes unless they feel bad for them. And the worst thing we've done is taking over the Pizza Plex.

Rigel: Wel- I- I'm going to miss riding the abandoned roads though.

Black Star: I'm sure you'll find plenty of abandoned roads here and there. It's not like they're suddenly going to occupy every single house. We're robots not humans. It's not like we breed like wildfire. They'll be plenty of woods for you to ride through.

Rigel: I don't know if the others will agree.

Black Star: Well they don't have to agree if they never see them. Yes everyone can set up their shops outside of the pizza plex. Might give this place some life. Maybe get that glam rock Freddy out of the atrium. Hell. If those two eclipses really do make up a shop. Maybe Cygnus can get some repairs.

Rigel: I guess maybe it would be nice to have places to go to. I just don't know if everyone's going to be all encompassing.

Black Star: Look. Any sort of society isn't going to be all encompassing. That's just how it works. But this is still a restart. As long as we don't do anything bad, We aren't going to be seen as bad. If they want to stick to their own beliefs that they can. Buy what it sounds like, It's going to mostly be eclipses here anyways.

[fauslayer]

before it gets sent to me or smth due to the nature of this website i think making the pizza tower dirty laundry post is funny as fuck. i cant imagine sitting there and ctrl+f'ing a bunch of slurs only to find like 2 from 6 years ago (as if some people on here didnt change drastically before and after high school). including a bunch of just annoying, overpreformative edgy jokes (just as old!) and choosing to include the phrase "Peppino Incellini", the funniest shit ive ever read.

like youre doing this while theres a racist caricature in the game. you could just get rightfully upset about the now and make a clamor to just. change the sprite (how hard would it be to just make the """"tribe cheese"""" an alien instead in the alien level) like mr. stick was changed in development to make him resemble antisemitic tropes less. but people want justification for not liking something popular so theyll go out of their way to manufacture outrage and cry about how mcpig is a bigot for. momentarily making shitty jokes in like 2018. like i dont even know the guy. neither do you.

i think i can spare the rant on how newgrounds culture grows a State of Fucking Mind (brain fungus) like any other website, and theres a point where you have to be ready for this instead of freaking out that, oh my god, [x] said slurs once hes literally a baby murderer and approach things with a little bit more present reason.

that being said i do think the Current Problems present in the game are worth being uncomfortable about, and if that discomfort is enough for you to not want to interact with pizza tower i think thats more than fair; dont let anyone else be your moral compass or decide whether its ok for you to be comfortable with something or not. use your brain. living in a trail of tears state makes me see that cheese and want to throw shit out a window, but inevitably its a passing shit stereotype ingrained in our culture and the genre oregano desert is built off of, and hopefully over time itll get wiped out (though disney and football Arent Fucking Helping).

[garbagefarm]

Mutucule Farm (#10)

2023-02-20, session #10 of Mutucule Farm!

Cast:

Me (@mothmute — Yoshi)

Belle (@snacco — Dry Bones)

Cam (@amanitaspore​ — Shyguy)

Erin (@salamand3rin​ — Shyguy or Daisy, depending on whether everybody else hates Daisy)

Highlights include, but are not limited to:

Upgrading Pompkin to be bigger and flatter

mmm, cherry bombs, delicious

content warning: backpacks

look, when a mommy baba yaga hut and a daddy baba yaga hut love each other very much,...

“snompkin” (I do not remember the context)

Marnie: great person, questionable business owner

horse envy!!

Belle finds a weird doll

Gunther can tell you more! ... but do you really want him to?

Belle gets prairie king’d by Abigail

(The Prairie King eats your time)

Delivering Willy a Squid at midnight. squidnight, if you will

Cam holds a burger over his head, and it looks like a hat

I acquire birds!

My naming theme for the birds are birds:

Catbird, Bluejay, Heron, and Grackle

Penny having a little winter picnic with the kids, wants me to tell them about country living!

one of the options says we have the best lumber south of Grampleton. hey, where the fuck is Grampleton?

Vincent wants to know more about goblins

I find a garbage hat!! Wrong farm!!

Belle considers more farm animals, I tell her to goat for it

“I’ll send little Baphomet to her new home right away” thanks Marnie

(The other one is “Black? Phillip”)

RIP Cam, dead in the mines

Cheesecourse rears its ugly head again!

Datin’ Penny

I get a heart event with Penny where she poisons me

... and I click exactly when the dialog options come up, accidentally choosing to lie and say it’s delicious, fantastic

I am one step closer to the Slutch

Sebastian says the frogs aren’t very happy in this weather (it’s winter), saying “poor little guys”— I admire his commitment to frogs

I deliver Emily a rock from Clint and get a smooch

Access to the sewers and Krobus

would talking about void eggs be ... vegg-blogging?

Shane has an encounter with a bear! (pictured below)

I’m just gonna hold onto these eggs

“until they hatch?”

... yes.

“are you going to sit on them?”

The Fish Archives start paying off immediately

Deluxe pack!!

hey guys, who do you main in Junimo Cart?

(Listed up in the “cast”)

Ice fest teleports us from the town entrance to the farm entrance

... why was there a woodpecker on that igloo?

Demetrius forgets his jacket (again)

Cool Pigloo

revvin’ up that hog!

Fish contest!

Belle & Erin take one hole, Cam & I take the other (ours is cursed and I leave)

It’s a tie between me and Belle!

lape nipe snea snap

I wear the victory hat immediately, Belle sticks with the witch hat

“witch hat stays on during sex”

My miserable field of winter forageables is up!

stay away from my crops

Remote milking technology is here, milk wi-fi

Quest to go into the mines and rustle up some grubs!

I hit the Duggy reward in the process

Belle & Sebastian is canon!

Camily is canon!

(I handed Cam a bouquet, we might legally be dating now, too)

The Witch and the Snowman are dating, too (pictured below)

Caroline just sticks a stamp on a potato and mails it to me

I find another garbage hat!! Wrong farm!!

Erin moves the bears around, musical bears

ordering pizza from Jumino’s, instead they remove a glittering boulder

TO-DO:

Fruit trees for the greenhouse? Apples, for bundle-related reasons?

Taller barns? Wider barns? Sheep? Hog??

Taller coop, more birds?

idk, we always need tool upgrades

More! Romance!

Photos:

Shane and the Bear at the Stardrop Saloon

snowman and witch are dating

[lil-ms-dipst]

Basically just venting and me being super angry and stuff so read at your own discretion I just need to scream into the void:

I fucking HATE my job so much. It used to be tolerable, free food. Sure, I only got paid 8 an hour, but I like my co-workers, and free breadsticks!

But now its unbearable to be there. Its averaging 81-91 F (around 30-31 C I think? Not pulling out the calculator for that), so its hot as all hell outside, not to mention the humidity, which makes it so hard to breathe. And of course, my workplace doesnt have a fully functioning AC/Ventilation system. I brought it up with a manager and he said "oh well yea we have one" well it don't fucking work when I can literally feel the sweat ooze from my pores. I struggle to breathe due to the high humidity, which is only increased in the workplace because of all the liquids I imagine. I have to literally sit in the freezer for minutes at a time. It's like playing ping pong between freezing my ass off and suffocating in heat. Fuck.

And thats just the WEATHER! Even on a good day I have gripes. For one, nobody else that does closing shift fucking does Anything right. A couple weeks ago I cleaned the bane (where toppings and such go for easy access), and I didnt fully do it right. A manager even commented on it a couple days later. Keep in mind the bane is supposed to be cleaned daily, or even every other day if we're not messy. I cleaned the bane again Monday night, and it was JUST how I left it. But more dirty, of course. There was a literal puddle at the bottom of I don't even know, cheese sweat mixed with condensation?? So nobody properly fucking closes.

And then my managers are so fucking incompetent at keeping this place manageable. Besides the apparent lack of AC/ventilation, theres a constant leak or someshit under the prep table (where we store extra toppings and such), so water leaks out almost every night. I literally almost slipped and fell today from it. It also makes it harder to clean, try sweeping a wet floor. And also one of the freezers has had a broken light for literally MONTHS. Since March at the very least. So there's no light in the freezer. Sure it's not a necessity, but it'd sure as shit save time when we don't have to either A. Prop the door open so the light seeps through, or B. Turn on the flashlight on our phones. Just change the fucking lightbulb or whatever dude it shouldn't even be that hard! If you had to order a special replacement it should've been here by now.

Oh and did I mention the leaking from the ceiling? Water drips right above the fucking salad box containers and around there. So around where the managers hang out is soaking wet, and the dripping has been happening for so long its causing ceiling damage! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not to mention I swear nobody here actually fucking cleans. It smells awful in the freezer full of dough and I cannot pin down why. Plus nobody ever wipes down the doors, I think there's mold starting to grow on them? Oh, and speaking of mold, guess what's growing in the air vents in the kitchen! And nobody cleans the oven too from what I can tell. I look in there and it's covered in burnt pizza particles. We've had the health inspector come by before, I don't understand how we haven't been shut down yet. All we get told is we can't have a chair in the back (which I think is stupid, my knees start to feel locked up if I stand up for too long), and to keep our hair up. Our main higher up manager never fuckin does anything, you can find him asleep in his car out back! It's so annoying to know there's shit broken or dirty and you don't know how or if you're even allowed to fix shit. The fastest time something was replaced/fixed was when the microwave for managers to warm up garlic butter and whatnot was broken. OH speaking of broken shit did I mention the bane door/lid? That's broken too, one of the little stick out pines is gone. Makes opening and closing the lid very frustrating.

I plan on applying at the general store nearby soon if they're looking to hire. I'd prefer not to do cashier but I'd prefer that than the horrific fucking working conditions I'm in right now.

Uh anyway if you read through all this yay good job have this picture.

[harlowsbby]

Bitter

“Why would I stress over someone I lowered my standards for.” Jack laughed at you making you whimper slightly as everyone around the two of you laughed. 

“You’re just drunk Jack come on I want to go back home.” You begged you reached for his hand, but he quickly pulled it back and rolled his eyes at you. 

“Don’t you get it Y/N you were just a bet you never meant anything to me you were nothing but an easy fuck and that’s it.” 

You thought Jack loved you and adored you I mean it’s all he ever told you, but I guess you now know that it was all a lie. You should’ve known better that someone like Jack would never be into someone like yourself let’s face it you were out of his league, and he made that very clear. 

“If you get bookworm Y/N to fall in love with you I’ll do whatever you say without questioning it.” Sunni laughed as well as everyone else. Jack had gone back home to Kentucky for a few days to visit his friends and family and when your name was brought up his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. You were known as the bookworm back in High School because well your head stayed glued to any and every book you could find or was gifted every guy wanted to be with you because you were innocent and pure and that was rare to come across back in High School but now you were an adult you never really kept up with anybody after High School but you lived in Louisville and everyone knew everything about everyone.

 “You’ll do whatever I say? But I get anything I want now so where’s the fun in that huh.” Jack grinned as his eyes sparkled with mischief Sunni sighed drastically before he grinned his pearly white teeth on full display. 

“Alright if you fall in love with her, I’ll buy you any chain you want it don’t even matter the price sound like a plan.” Jack thought about it for a while before nodding and sticking out his hand for Sunni to shake. 

“Sounds like a deal to me.” 

You were home alone when you felt your phone dinging you put your book down before looking over at your phone, you honestly didn’t have any friends just your close friend Tiana but she was out of town for summer break. You grabbed your phone and almost died when you saw you got a text from Jack.

Jack 🤎

- Hey Y/N longtime no see I’m back in Louisville for a few days you down to chill?

You were smiling like a fool you’ve always had the biggest crush on Jack ever since kindergarten. You quickly texted Jack back saying you’d love to hangout.

Jack 🤎

- You got the same address right?

You

- Yes I do

Jack 🤎

- I’ll see you later ma

You squealed before laying on your back and smiling up at the ceiling he just called you ma he’s never done that well no guy has ever done that.

“What the hell am I going to wear dammit.” You told yourself before getting up and tossing any and everything clothing that didn’t look right to the side before settling on a black tight dress that stopped just under your ass before giving yourself a Smokey eye look and did your hair. You looked yourself over in the mirror and smiled loving how much much your appearance has changed since high school.

You got a message from Jack saying he was outside you quickly sprayed yourself with some more perfume before taking your purse and heading outside to his car.

“Well if it isn’t Y/N Y/L haven’t seen you in forever ma how have you been, how’s your mom been.” You smiled bashfully at him he smirked knowing that his little nickname was making you putty in his hands.

“I’ve been good and well you know my mom she’s doing better actually I’m so happy she beat cancer.” You said softly before twiddling with your thumps and looking back up at Jack who was already looking down at you. He smiled at you before reaching over and giving your thigh a reassuring squeeze.

“Where do you want to go ma? We can go anywhere you want the day is ours.” He grinned before pulling out of your driveway and putting on some music.

“There’s this new pizza place I want to try if you want.” You asked bashfully and Jack and nodded before putting in the directions. Once at the pizza place Jack and You sat opposite of one another.

“So what you been up to Y/N you got a boyfriend or anything.” Jack knew if this bet was going to work he had to find out if you were with anybody yet.

“Nope I’m very much still single like I’ve been sadly.” You played with the wrapper that once covered the straw making Jack shake his head and smile at you. It’s something you always did whenever you got nervous or got asked a question you weren’t to comfortable about.

“You’re telling me nobody’s made a move on you? That’s a shame but at the same time it’s not because I’ve always liked you Y/N.” Your head shot up instantly you looked at Jack in disbelief as if he had three heads.

“You’ve had a crush on me? I actually find that hard to believe Jack because what’s so special about me.” You were always one to put yourself down you always were told to dress better and to be more outgoing and maybe a guy would want you and you always picked at your weight and your acne so Jack actually “liking” you was honestly hard to believe. 

“I do like you Y/N and if you’re okay with is I’d love to see where this goes.” You were a bit hesitant at first but your heart took over your mind and honestly that was the biggest mistake you ever made. It’s been a few months and Jack and You have been together for about four months and everything was going great. 

Jack invited you to tag along to Sunni’s party with him and that he’d be at your place in around twenty minutes or so. You got ready and just decided to keep is casual but cute with your mom jeans and a white crop tee tanked top with your black and white dunks. 

Jack had called you saying he was outside you looked yourself over one last time before making your way to his car. He smiled seeing how cute you looked even if it was a basic fit you somehow managed to make it look like it was worth a million bucks. 

“Damn ma you look good might have to leave this party early so I can get a taste of you.” Jack leaned over the seat and kissed your cheek making you smile shyly at him. Jack was wearing his all-red jersey that said Louisville with his black cargos and white air forces to match yours. 

“Look at you remind me to keep an eye on you or else all these girls are going to be on you.” You laughed and went back to looking out the window Jack was in awe of your beauty even though this was all a bet he managed to actually fall in love with you. 

Once at the party Jack held you against to him closely as all the sweaty and drunk bodies bumped into you both before making your way to the back where Sunni and Urban as well as everyone else waited. Sunni’s eyes lit up seeing you holding onto Jack’s arm and seeing the way Jack looked at you Sunni knew Jack was in love. 

“Well, if it isn’t the two lovebirds we thought the two of you weren’t going to make it.” Urban laughed and Jack rolled his eyes at Urban before pulling him for a hug. Urban pulled back and smiled at you and you smiled as well and waved.

“Hi Urban how are good?” Urban and you have been close friends ever since Elementary school and even though you never saw Urban as much your friendship was still strong.

“I’ve been good Y/N it’s nice seeing you again.” Urban walked off to probably get something more to drink before Sunni approached Jack and You.

“What’s up Jack you gonna have your girl glued on you all night or are you gonna loosen up a bit.” You looked at Sunni with furrowed brows why did he care if you were on Jack all night.

“Actually yeah baby why don’t you go chill with Taylor and them I’ll find you later okay.” Jack smiled softly at you but you weren’t to sure about going you didn’t even know them.

“Yeah go sit with them I promise I’ll take good care of your boy.” Sunni grinned which left an uneasy feeling in your stomach but you nodded slowly before making your way towards Taylor.

It’s been about a good hour or two since you’ve been sitting with Taylor and her friends they were nice don’t get me wrong but you’d rather be laid up in Jack’s arms and reading a book. You sighed before setting down your cup of water and making your way back outside where Jack was.

All you heard was yelling and cheers and the word chug being yelled out. You grunted as you pushed past a few bodies before coming face to face with Jack who was chugging down two glasses of beers. Sunni and Urban recorded Jack as well did everyone else till Jack threw down the glass making everyone cheer as he successfully finished both beers in under a minute.

“Jackman harlow remains king once again.” Clay yelled out making everyone cheer once again. You approached Jack as he looked up at you making Sunni ooo.

“Looks like you’re gonna be in some shit now man.” Jack rolled his eyes before stumbling towards you.

“Baby girl!!! I missed you guys hey everyone this is my girl.” Jack yelled out and everyone laughed but you, he reeked of beer and his curls were everywhere.

“Jack come on I think it’s best you go home.” You tried to take his hand but he pulled it back and gave you a death stare which took you by surprise.

“You’re not my mother Y/N let me be I can do whatever the hell I want.” Everyone ooo’d again suddenly loving this drama and this side of Jack.

“What.. what I know Jack I just wanna get you home come on you can shower and get some food.” You whispered as everyone laughed at the two of you.

“I think it’s time you tell her Jack don’t you think.” Sunni said in a teasingly way making you glare at him.

“Tell me what Jack what is he talking about.”

“Look Y/N I think it’s best you know I don’t love you and I never did nor will. It was all a bet a bet to make you fall in love with me then break your heart and honestly the shit was easy and the sex shit the sex was amazing everybody.” Jack yelled out and everyone laughed. You felt so embarrassed and ashamed of yourself you should’ve known this is all he wanted you so badly wanted to just disappear and fall off the face of the earth.

“Fuck you Jack Harlow.” Your voice cracked as tears started filling your eyes.

“Shit let me know when doll face.” Everyone erupted in laughter as you ran out the hot tears flowing down your face.

“Y/N! Y/N wait up.” Urban called out as he went after you but Jack caught his hand.

“Where you going Urban? The party is just getting started.” Urban shook his head at Jack and watched how Jack eyelids closed and opened the beer taking it’s tole on his body.

“Fuck you Jack you’re an asshole and you just lost one of the best damn girls ever.”

( please let me know how y’all feel about it and also thank you bestie @jacksmoviestar for this idea )

[omikazu]

brat pack // m. atsumu

dad!atsumu with twin sons? gotcha.

*•.¸♡ haikyuu masterlist

"it wasn't me, mommy, i swear it was daddy," your five year old son says earnestly, his twin brother nodding along.

"stop lying, brat!" atsumu complains, pointing a finger at him accusingly before turning to you. "baby, ya gotta believe me! ya know how kids lie 'bout stuff like this."

you sigh deeply, rolling your eyes at the disaster trio. this was a daily occurance, after all, with one of your three boys doing something stupid and then pointing fingers at each other. the worst part is, it's usually atsumu that lies, knowing you'd go easier on your sons than you would on him.

"i'll ask you all one last time. who made this mess on my beautiful rosewood cabinet?" you say, crossing your arms against your chest, glaring at your husband and sons. "and don't even bother trying to lie your way out, all three of you suck at it, anyway."

"it was daddy," the elder one of your twins speaks up again, adamantly. "he ordered pizza and then spilled it all over the cabinet while tickling me." you half smile at his words, almost close to believing him. that definitely sounds like something atsumu would do, alright.

"is that true, 'tsum?" you ask, narrowing your eyes at atsumu, who cowers, eyes darting to look anywhere else but at you. "thing is, sweet cheeks, the brat's only being half honest, true, we were playing around and i was tickling him but, we don't know whose hand knocked the pizza on yer counter," your husband hurries his words, sounding panicky. he knows how much you love that cabinet, it was very expensive and it had been a wedding gift from your parents and you've cherished it ever since. "ask the other brat if ya want! go on, kiddo, tell yer mom the truth and i'll buy you icecream."

"yeah, daddy's right," your younger twin cheers, "can we all go get icecream now?"

"now you're just bribing him," you snap. "you know what, i'll never find the culprit like this, how about i just let all three of you take the fall for it, instead?"

"oh no," your younger twin son says, his good cheer dying down. "mommy's really mad this time, daddy."

atsumu's hopeful smile fades, and your twins take a step back each. your two little brats were ready to run, and your big brat was ready for flight too. "no, no," you groan, "don't you three dare run away from me." too late. the twins take off first, screeching loudly as atsumu follows closely behind with you in tow, waving your arms around frantically as you try to reach him, although your efforts are fruitless.

"fuck, at least clean that mess up first, then you can run," you scream at atsumu, throwing a cushion at his head. "don't ya go swearing when the kids are around, baby! yer such a bad influence on them," he teases, dodging the cushion and ducking behind the sofa.

"says you," you retort, scooping the younger of your twin boys into your arms, squishing his chubby cheeks. "shall we make daddy clean it up all alone?" he nods frantically as your older son shrieks from under the dining table, voicing his agreement. you hear atsumu groan from behind the sofa.

"that's no fair, baby!" he whines, getting up and trudging over to where you are. "stupid brats, this is all because of ya two, now if i had a little princess like samu did, this wouldn't have happened," he mutters, sticking his tongue out at your sons, who repeat his actions back to him, unfazed.

"tell ya what, baby, fine, i'll clean up these little fools' mess," atsumu grumbles as you set your son down on the sofa, then leans close to your ear, hands squeezing your waist. "but in return, give me a cute little baby girl this time, 'kay?"

[sparklingchim]

midnight snack; m | kth

pairing: taehyung x reader

word count: 4.2k

genre: enemies to (lovers), smut, college au

warnings: cursing, groping, fingering, spanking, unprotected sex, marking/biting, spitting, naughty confessions👀, tiny crumb of possessiveness, name calling (whore/bitch)

summary: you hate taehyung - and he hates you - but you're also in desperate need to find something to help you stay awake, so why not accept his offer and let him fuck you?

a/n: this just kinda happened while i was procrastinating to learn for my oral exam tomorrow🤡 anyways, i still need to edit this but thought about posting it now, hope u enjoy!

index: prequel | one | two |

masterlist

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

Do you know those moments where you just want to punch something - or someone - to let all your frustration out? When you just can't calm yourself and your fingers itch due to the anger building up?

You want to beat up Hoseok's annoying ass so badly. Maybe Jimin too, but you're not sure if he has something to do with this tedious little prick who showed up at your apartment door.

,,So you're gonna let me in now?"

You fold your arms, eyeing Taehyung with an arched brow. You're not going to let this idiot in.

When you don't answer him immediately Taehyung pushes the door open, shoving you to the side and getting inside your apartment like he owns it. The audacity this man has.

,,Yah! I didn't let you in, get out!" you shout and grab his arm to tug him back, but he effortlessly shakes you off.

,,You share this apartment with two other boys, so technically it's not fully yours," he retorts.

,,Taehyung get out! You have no reason to be here right now." You stay reluctant and come to a halt in front of him. (Maybe you even try to look scary with an exasperated frown on your face, but let's not lie: your scrunched up features strike as the same as a little girl who's angry about the ice cream she didn't get.)

,,I literally just explained why I am here," he huffs.

,,Yeah, and I don't believe you. That's bullshit."

Taehyung rolls his eyes. ,,Hoseok-ah, come here and tell this girl that you invited me over!" Taehyung yells. He walks over to the couch and  - deliberately - bumps his chest against your shoulder.

,,Hoseok-ah! Come here and tell this wanker that you didn't invite him to our weekly movie night!" you shout.

It was Friday evening. And Friday evening belonged to Hoseok, Jimin and you. No one else. So what was this douchebag thinking by walking inside your home and acting like he had any right to be here and invade your Hoseok x Jimin x Y/n prime time? Unbelievable.

Hoseok and Jimin get out of their room simultaneously and walk over to the both of you. Jimin flops down next to Taehyung and Hoseok greets him happily. When Hoseok retorts your infuriated expression he explains the situation.

,,Oh, uh, he said he's bored so I invited him over," Hoseok answers like it's nothing.

,,But Friday's are reserved for us. And I can't accept an idiot to join us today."

,,Hey, it's fine. We're just watching a movie. We're not even gonna talk," Jimin tries to sweet talk it.

But his presence...

You sigh defeated. You really hate Taehyung - like really - but you're also not that rude to just kick him out when you're friends obviously want him to be here right now. After all it's just a movie and maybe you could try to ignore him and trick yourself into believing that Taehyung isn't even there with you...- okay maybe you're expecting a little too much because to be able to ignore Taehyung would not be possible. His whole being sprinkles specks of stupidity into the room, but for today you have to bare with it.

,,Okay...he can stay...But he's paying for the pizza!" you exclaim and rush to your room to get your phone and order said pizzas.

You hear Taehyung murmuring 'fucking brat' behind you and the only correct way to answer his stinky ass is with sticking out your middle finger.

~

You have a problem. A big one. And surprisingly it has nothing to do with Taehyung. yayy! But it has to do with an assignment that you have to hand in on Monday morning which you didn't even start yet and it's already almost midnight so you technically only have two days left to finish your work that, again - you didn't even start yet - plus you're so tired that you don't even think you're capable of beginning it now. not so yayyy...

After the movie night ended Taehyung asked if he could stay over because it was late and he was tired. That was definitely not the case because after you left the boys in the living room - to lock yourself in you room and watch Youtube videos - you heard them play videos games and Taehyung's hysterical shouts didn't sound like 'can i stay over today? i'm too tired to go home' .

However, right now you don't care about Taehyung's lying ass and the boys loud shouts - that never failed to make you flinch even though you were wearing headphones - because you have a much more important concern. (It's about your university degree after all and you very much cared about that. Right?...Well...You try to make yourself think that.)

You come to the conclusion that you can't just go to sleep without starting your essay, so you stand up and leave your cosy bed to get some energy drinks and snacks from the kitchen. (Little did you know that some particular snack was already waiting for you...)

As you stroll over to the kitchen you don't spare a glance toward the living room - you're already grumpy, you don't need to see that idiot sleeping on the couch - but maybe you should have because you once you enter the kitchen and turn the light on you squeal in surprise, startled by Taehyung who sits at the counter. Your eyes widen, heart beating faster.

,,What the fuck?!" you exclaim.

Taehyung chuckles, your scared state humouring him like you just said the funniest jokes ever. He is sitting there in nothing but some pajama pants. Taehyung's bare chest helps you to focus on his abs and lets you forget your pounding heart - weird but you let it slide since its helping you.

,,You're done staring?" he asks haughty, the smirk that spread on his face giving you no choice but roll your eyes.

,,Fuck off." You open the fridge and search for the energy drinks that Jimin stored somewhere in there.

,,Why are you here?"

You scoff. ,,It's my kitchen. Do I need to have a reason why I'm here?" You huff when you don't find the drink and instead look out for some snacks. ,,I think I should be asking you why you're creepily sitting here in the dark."

,,Couldn't sleep," he answers, his eyes watching you intently, though you can't see him because you're back is turned to him. Taehyung asks himself if you're aware of the fact that these little shorts that you're wearing are practically showing half of your ass? Nonetheless, it's a pretty view to look at.

,,Then lay down and try to sleep," you propose the most obvious thing.

,,Thanks, didn't think about that."

You close the fridge and turn around when you find nothing that you crave. You're about to leave the kitchen, but you stop in the mid of your tracks when you see Taehyung tilting his head and gulping down the last remnants of a Red Bull. He sweeps his mouth with his arm after he's done and places the now empty can on the table.

,,Did you just drink the last Red Bull?!"

Taehyung furrows his eyebrows. ,,And what about it? You don't even like it," he states, confused about your exaggerated behaviour.

,,How would you know that I don't like it?"

Taehyung won't admit that he once overheard a conversation with you and Jimin and that information - unawarely - stuck with him.

,,I don't know, just guessed. But I wouldn't recommend it for you - I bet your annoying attitude will only increase and no one wants to witness that."

You're not even angry at him for insulting you like that - you're rather sad about the fact that you won't have anything to wake you up a bit (coffee is no option here, that shit tastes disgusting) You reach for the Red Bull and throw your head back. Little drops of the energy drink fall onto your tongue. Hopefully they would have a little effect on you, but you don't have high hopes for that to happen. You bring the can down again, tossing it over to counter.

,,Do you have some tips for trying to stay awake?" That you're literally asking Taehyung for advice says a lot about your current state right now.

,,For what?"

,,Need to write an essay."

,,Hm. Well I have one idea."

You raise your brows in anticipation. ,,So?"

,,Wanna fuck?"

,,W-what?"

,,Just a quick fuck. Nothing serious. It'll help to wake you a bit," he explains.

Is Taehyung - who's still half-naked and sitting in your kitchen - offering to fuck you to energise you again and wake up your two braincells that you need for writing your assignment? And are you seriously contemplating to take his offer? A quick fuck can't hurt anybody, right?

,,Okay," you just simply answer.

,,Okay?"

,,Yeah."

,,Good," he says, eyes wandering over your whole body. Suddenly you become so excited which doesn't harmonise with the usual revulsion that you associate with him.

His hands reach for your arms, sliding down to your hips and yanking you closer to him. The proximity of Taehyung's face intimidate you, you've never been that close to each other. When his face edges nearer your first instict is to step back, but you prevent yourself from doing so because somehow you're not indisposed to be close to him. It's rather quite the opposite - you want to be as close as possible.

,,This is okay, right?" he murmurs and you nod slowly, your senses curbed under a layer of haze that leads you to forget everything around you.

His lips float over yours, waiting for you to take the first step so that he can be sure that you really want this. When your lips slightly touch, you yield in, immediately chasing after his mouth. Your lips move in a languid fashion. It doesn't take long till both of your tongues hungrily swirl around each other and Taehyung's wicked hands wandering all over your body - giving your boobs a firm squeeze, stroking over your sides till they stop at your ass cups them.

,,How is this considered as pajamas?" he scoffs, eyeing your flimsy set of pajamas and then staring at your wide cleavage, the height difference allowing him to have a little sneak peek of how it looks like beneath your little shirt.

You roll your eyes and grab your shirt by its hem and tug it over your body. ,,Your taking too much time, Taehyung."

,,Calm down there, we only just started," he says, not even looking your in the eyes but looking at your tits that are perfectly squeezed together by your bra. This time he's faster than you, fingers reaching to unclasp your bra and letting it fall to the ground. He instantly kneads them, rolling his fingers over your nipples and watching them harden under his touch. While he is busying himself with your boobs, you get your shorts and off and kick them away with your feet.

Taehyung's hand sneaks up to your neck, grabbing a fistful of your hair and yanking your head back so he has perfect access to your delicious neck. He starts planting wet kisses on your skin, soon starting to suck, nibble and occasionally bite, coaxing sweet whimpers out of you. You feel his cock on your lower tummy, his member slowly getting harder and bigger by the seconds.

,,Bend over for me," he whispers against your jawline.

You bend over the counter, propping yourself on your hands and your ass on display for his hungry eyes. His hands stroke over your cheeks, squeezing your flesh before wiggling it with his hands.

,,Shit," he hisses. ,,Your ass is so fucking hot."

He then hooks his fingers under your laced panties and slides them down your thighs.

,,Fuck, how are you already that wet for me?" he asks mesmerised, one finger gliding over your glistening folds. Taehyung plunges his finger in, enjoying how your walls immediately suck him in. But you're not into foreplay right now. You want to get fucked.

,,Just fuck me already," you call.

,,You think your little pussy can take my cock?"

,,Please, Taehyung."

Taehyung curses behind you. He never heard you begging for something - especially not for him - and he now realises that he finds it excruciatingly hot hearing you beg for him. He rushes to take off his pajama pants and boxers in one go, grabbing his hard cock and pumping it a few times before he places his member right on your entrance, finally sinking into your core. His thick cock pushed your tight walls aside, causing them to pulsate around him. You both breath out loudly when he's fully inside you, his fingers digging inside your waist.

The stretch hurts a bit at first, your pussy not prepped enough to take his massive cock, but the stinging feeling soon turns into pleasure.

,,Taehyung," you urge in a low tone, swaying your ass, showing him your craving.

,,Let me appreciate how your cunt feels around my cock, woman," Taehyung retorts his voice already laced with vexation. Even though it didn't last long you're still proud that your two managed to be peaceful with each other, because that didn't occur often - okay let's not lie, it probably never occurred - because you two are caught up in bickering for most of the time.

A few moments later he starts moving, starting with a slow pace before gradually picking up on his speed.

You weren't prepared for Taehyung's cock feeling so perfect inside you, but here you are loving every single second that he's buried deep inside your pussy.

You try to stay quiet, preventing yourself from moaning and only letting little whimpers out of you.

,,Harder." Taehyung does and whoops, maybe a moan just slipped out of your mouth. ,,M-maybe not harder. I take it back."

Taehyung chuckles darkly, leaning closer to you and plants kisses over your neck. ,,Imagine how I could fuck you if we didn't have to be quiet," he whispers next to your ear. The important questions is: could you survive it if there wouldn't be any restrictions that would retain Taehyung? Probably not, because Taehyung seems like a beast, but hey, that wouldn't stop you from fantasising about Taehyung banging you when you'd be all alone. (Maybe you've done that already, but psscht, you'd never admit that to anyone - not even yourself) ,,I would make you scream so loud, make you scream my name and let everyone know what a fucking whore you are." His voice gets louder, starting to sound desperate.

,,Sshhh," you try to silent him.

,,What? You don't like dirty talk?"

,,Do you not understand the concept of being quiet? They're gonna wake up if you continue talking."

,,I'm not that loud."

,,Yes, you are."

With a sharp thrust your body jolts forward, you're hands gripping the counter tight and a restrained - but still loud - moan springs out of you. Shit.

,,Who's not being silent, huh?" he mocks you.

,,I fucking hate you," you breath, but he only continues his rapid snaps.

When he sets for a deep and hard stroke again, you bite your lip and whimper beneath him, your whole body shuddering.

,,Huh? What was that?" He heard you - loud and clear - but he just wants to hear it again. It turns him on in a weird way.

,,Hate you so much." Your tone meek, almost sounding like you're about to cry.

,,Mhm, I'm glad, 'cause I hate you too," he retorts. There's a smug grin displayed on his face when he thinks about how there was no hesitation from your side when he suggested this and how you're now beautifully arching your back for him, allowing him to fuck you and give you what you need.

Taehyung's hand collides with your ass cheek and you furrow your eyebrows as the pleasure he gives you gets so hard to hold back. You slide your hand between your legs, starting to draw circles on your clit.

,,I'm close," you mutter.

,,Hmm, already cumming on my cock?" Taehyung grabs your hair, pulling at it till you tilt your head back. His jolts are getting faster, your fingers rapidly circling your clit and the fact that you're doing something so naughty in the kitchen while your roommates can come in at any time makes you cum so hard around his cock.

Your walls squeeze his member, and you shift your head sideways so you can bite into your shoulder to not moan aloud like you would when there wouldn't be any annoying - sorry minnie and hobi - roommates that are currently sleeping in their rooms. Your whole body gets dunked into pure bliss and you can't get enough of it.

,,Fuck, you're squeezing me so hard, y/n," Taehyung pants, his thrusts getting slower till he completely halts and lets his cock slip out of your hole.

Taehyung grabs your hips and turns you around, your legs feeling wobbly but he has a firm grip on you. He hoists you up by your ass and walks you both to the living room. He throws the blanket away that was spread over the couch and throws you onto it, instantly spreading your legs to hover over you.

,,Throw the blanket over your body," you say.

,,It's not actually gonna hide what we're doing underneath it."

Why is he always acting like he knows everything better and tries to make you look like you're the stupid one? Who does he think he is? ,,Just do it, Taehyung-ah," you huff.

Taehyung gets up again, grabbing the blanket and draping it over his body once he's over you again. He glides his member over your wet folds, teasingly nudging your clit with the head and you squirm beneath him in surprise. He grins at your reaction and plunges his cock inside you again. This time he doesn't wait to build up a steady pace, he starts to fuck you in a fast and hard manner, his skin slapping against yours and the lewd sounds of your pussy ringing in the room.

,,Want me to tell you a secret?" he whispers against your neck, his breath puffing against your skin and his deep voice sending shivers all over you. You nod, too afraid to open your mouth and accidentally cry out moan. ,,I wanted to fuck this pussy for so long now. Always fantasised about how your little pussy would feel around my cock, did you know that?" You shake your head, but his little confession let the blood inside you sizzle. ,,But you're always so annoying, y/n. Always acting like a little bitch. So I never tried anything and jerked off instead."

He did- what? Now you have to say something. ,,J-jerked off?" Little whimpers escape your mouth and you instantly bite down your lip again.

,,Ah, don't act surprised. I think you're fully aware of how you look like," he says and leans away, looking down at your face and enjoying the sight of pure bliss displayed on your features. ,,Remember last week? At the party? Your body looked so hot in that dress and oh, don't even get me started on how your tits looked in that dress." - he sits back on his heels and palms your tits - ,,Fuck, just look at them - so perfect and big. You look so sexy, so fucking sexy."

You can't prohibit the warmth that spreads over your as he showers your body with compliments and unwittingly causing you to feel more confident. You didn't know that Taehyung feels this way - okay maybe you felt him stare at you for a little too long sometimes... - and a tiny bubble filled with peppiness emerges within you at the thought of how he still felt this way toward you despite the usual loathing he feels when he's with you.

,,I saw how you left with Jungkook that day. Did he fuck you? Did he show you his puppy eyes and then you let him fuck you? Hm?" Taehyung's breath hitched, his pants getting heavier as you both approach your highs.

,,What? We- we didn't fuck," you answer utterly confused.

,,Ow, come on y/n. You don't have to lie. I heard he has a noona kink, does he really?" he smirks, viciously swiping his tongue over his lower lip.

,,Shut up, he's like a brother, Taehyung," you pant and cling onto his shoulders.

,,Better not tell Jungkook. He always gets all heart eyes when he sees you," he says and squishes your boobs together.

What is Taehyung trying to tell you? Jungkook was always nice to you. You always have a good time when you're with him and he's a pretty funny guy, sometimes shy and adorable and other times he tries to show off his manliness (but no one tells him that Jungkook still looks like the cute adorable guy that he is).

,,So? You're not interested in him?"

That question confuses you even more. Why was he so keen to know about the relationship you have with Jungkook? ,,It's none of your business. Stop talking about him while your cock is inside me," you utter.

,,Why? We were having such a nice conversation, y/n." He drills his member deep inside you with a harsh thrust and you dig your nails into his shoulder.

,,Just make me cum again," you whisper before shutting your eyes close when his deep strokes continuously hit your sweet spot.

,,You wanna cum again?" he coos, kneading your breasts. You nod frantically. ,,I can make that happen," Taehyung promises and a second later he spits on one of your tits, rubbing his saliva all over you nipple. He then moves his hand down to your clit, starting to toy with your little bundle of nerves.

,,T-taehyung," you whimper, unable to hold it back.

,,Am I making you feel good? Huh? Do you like my cock pounding inside your little pussy?"

,,Yes, yes, yes," you whisper.

,,Then fucking cum. Fucking cream over my cock and show me what a little whore you are. Come on."

Your legs shake, walls clenching around his cock. Taehyung knows that you won't be able to hold in your moan, so he presses his hand over your mouth, allowing you to bite down on it.

,,You're so hot, you're so goddamn hot." Taehyung stops fondling with your clit when he feels like you have enough.

The snaps of his hips get sloppy and he's not able to suppress his high any longer.

,,Gonna cum now," he warns.

,,Don't you dare to cum inside me." Your voice sounds tired, but sill layerd with a warning tone that Taehyung shouldn't ignore.

,,I fucking know," he answers and pulls out of you, pumping his member over your stomach and a few seconds later he cums all over your belly, some of his cum pooling in your belly button. He tries to restrain a grunt, but it doesn't quiet work when he's looking at your gorges body while cumming.

After Taehyung milked everything out of him he flops beside you, body feeling completely drained. You shift to make a little more room for him, pressing your cheek against his chest.

,,Taehyung," you mumble against his sweaty skin.

,,Mhm?"

,,It didn't work."

,,What didn't work?"

,,I didn't get any energy from this - it only made me more tired."

,,Oh, yeah, I forgot that there was a reason why we started to fuck."

You scrunch your face into displeasure. ,,Of course there was. I wouldn't want to have sex with you if there wasn't any purpose."

Taehyung throws his head back. ,,Just leave. You're annoying me already."

You slap his chest as an answer to his rude comment. ,,Don't forget that you're in my apartment."

,,It's still not fully yours though."

You only roll your eyes. You won't have this conversations with him again.

A few silent moments pass and you both - unknowingly - listen to each others heart beats.

Soon you have enough of lying beside Taehyung and stand up, sighing exasperatedly.

,,Mission failed, I guess," you mutter disappointed.

But at least you had the pleasure of getting laid by Taehyung which balances out your attempted goal just perfectly.

~

The next day Hoseok walks into the kitchen to start preparing his daily morning coffee. However, when he gets inside the kitchen he

wonders what your bra is doing in the middle of the kitchen floor.

A few minutes later Jimin joins Hoseok in the kitchen and Hoseok immediately points out your bra at the floor.

,,You don't know?" Jimin asked.

,,Huh?"

,,Didn't you hear anything last night?"

,,No? Did something happen?"

Jimin doesn't know if he should tell Hoseok  that, in deed, last night something happened. He decides Hoseok, there's now way that Jimin could live with not telling him, since Jimin tells him everything.

,,Taehyung and Y/n fucked in here last night."

Hoseok raises his brows, nodding his head in astonishment.

,,Good. Took them long enough to finally fuck."

Jimin giggles at that. ,,Like, they're always in denial, saying how much they hate each other but the tension between them is so fucking immaculate."

Everyone around you knew that some day you both would end up with each other, it was just you and Taehyung who were oblivious to the whole thing because - of course - you'd be oblivious to it, you hate each other after all.

And though the sex might have been great, you would never be up for a second fuck with that jerk again...

Right?

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

Hear me out bro okay bare with me because I’m scraping my brain to find out how to word this lmao okay hear me out Bucky and Steve just doing their thing yk being a couple and they get invited to a Halloween party and they do a couples costume Steve dressed as a farmer and Bucky as his cow (keep in mind nothing is kinky yet okay ) and throughout the night Bucky drinks some beer and just gets more bloated and drunk ,belly getting tighter but the more he drinks the tighter he gets right and he just slowly gets more and more out of it and he starts complaining to Steve about being full and his groans turn into mood and well I’m not sure what happens next but would love ur thoughts lol - imma sign off w this emoji 🐮

Also to add onto the cow ask not sure if it made sense but tried to imply bloated Bucky mooing was making Steve hot n bothered lol (also hope these asks were okay since they contain implied nsfw) -🐮

I am bared and ready 🤭

And I fucking love this idea.

I love the innocent beginnings of farmer Steve and cow Bucky dressing up in a couples costume on Halloween suddenly becoming kinky 😳

And to add to this idea, in my mind's eye, I see BOTH Steve and Bucky in "slutty" versions of these regular costumes. Maybe it's just the part of me that's very attracted to them both talking selfishly but, actually, I'm gonna blame that mental image on the idea that in this universe they're either (a) himbos that are all about showing off their bodies or (b) all about reversing the patriarchy and being the ones in slutty costumes rather than women being forced into it. So....

For Steve, I'm picturing of something like this Yandy Farmer Costume (or "gone country" whatever haha)

And for Bucky, I'm picturing something like this Dolls Kill Cow Costume

Stucky fic, unbeta'd, warnings for belly kink, intoxication, dubious consent (because they're both drunk but they're both very much on board), beer bloating, stuffing, name-calling (cow), semi-public, coming untouched, etc.

Bucky doesn't notice how much he's been drinking until he gets up to get another pleasantly spiced, apple flavored beer. The beer's flavor is wonderful and the alcohol content is high- so it's perfect for the season. (What else is Halloween night, as an adult, for anyway? It's for being drunk and on a sugar high at a dope party. And maybe they'll play a scary movie later.)

But, Jesus, yeah, Bucky did not realize how many bottles he has had (nor how many fun-sized candy bars, pieces of pizza, handfuls of chips, and other types of party food he has had) until he tries to rise up off of Sam's way too comfortable, cushy couch and his stomach lurches with all of that food and drink. It's all shifting around inside him. All that liquid and food packed heavily in, changing his center of gravity and not helping his buzzed, wobbling balance in the slightest.

Instinctively, before he can fall back onto his ass, Bucky reaches for Steve.

Steve laughs gently from behind him, quickly sitting up from where he was sprawled out on the couch next to Bucky, and grabs his waist. It is his job as a farmer to make sure his cattle doesn't tip over after all. He's gotta keep his cattle safe and in line.

But everyone else is too caught up in conversation, shouting over the music, to notice. And Bucky is glad for that because...

Oh.

With Steve's hands on his hips, calling even more attention to his sudden situation, Bucky looks down, feeling his face get hot. He's not flush with alcohol now. It's- it's all him. And-

When did that happen?

Steve's fingers flex on either side of the swell of his belly, not keeping him in line as much now as teasing him. The tips of his fingers dig into Bucky's puffy sides. His sides and... his belly. Jesus. His belly is sticking out from his body. Stretching the already thin black and white, cow print fabric to be practically see-through. God. He's so sloshy and full of everything that's been going down his throat all night. His skin feels tight from everything in his stomach under his costume and... it's making him feel kind of,, funny.

Okay, so, he's had more beer than he thought and is drunker than he thought. No big deal, right?

"Where're'ya wanderin' off to?" Steve says, interrupting Buckys confused thoughts with a voice half slurred in this lazy but in-character, southern accent and half slurred from Steve's own slight drunkenness. Steve uses his hold on Bucky's hips and sides to pull Bucky back down onto the couch. Onto his lap on the couch.

"I wa-" Buckys voice cracks, his eyes are still glued to his belly. It jiggles as he lands with an oof on top of Steve despite how bloated he is. Taut and full of beer and carbs, rounding his costume out impressively. "I wass gonna get 'nother beer."

"More beer, huh?" Steve's voice is husky and his teeth are on Bucky's ear, nibbling gently and sending a stronger pulse of pleasure down Bucky's spine than usual. He does like when Steve bites him but he'll blame the extra surge of arousal on how much of their skin is touching and how he's halfway to drunk. Not anything else.

The pleasure of Steve's mouth is definitely not made more impactful as his hands slip from his hips to all the way around his waist. His larger than normal waist. Stretched out. Skin flushed and hot and now being rubbed by Steve's big, big hands, only seperated by a flimsy one-piece has absoulately cannot contain him anymore. Not his belly or.... other places that might be interested in that rubbing. Because, yeah. Steve's hands are rubbing him almost like he's intentionally soothing the alcohol and carbs as they bubble and move substantially around inside Bucky.

Finally, Bucky chokes out a "yeah."

"Have the rest of mine then," Steve says, gruff, lips to the side of Bucky's neck. One of Steve's hands snatches up his still mostly full bottle from the side table, lifts it up, and presses the opening to Bucky’s mouth.

Bucky can do nothing but barely swallow down a moan and then swallow the rest of Steve's beer. Yet, he doesn't indicate to Steve when to stop and give him a break like he usually would. He's distracted.

God.

He's so distracted by how it feels like - now that he's paying attention to what's happening - the pizza crust, the chips, and the pumpkin bread inside him are soaking up the beer and expanding outward like a sponge being rehydrated. He's sure if there wasn't pounding music and conversation, he'd be able to hear the sloshing, growing, and groaning sounds of his stomach. Slogging through all the calories he's mindlessly packed away. He's always been a greedy drunk.

But, right now, Steve must be distracted too.

Because before Bucky can think too hard about what the hell is happening, the last delicious drops of beer are dripping out of the upturned dark, glass bottle onto his tongue. All of it has gone down his throat like that.

Fucking Christ.

He just chugged another beer. Another beer bottles worth of liquid inside his already bloated tummy.

Oh.

Bucky can't blame the way his head spins on the alcohol. It's too soon for him to already be drunker; it hasn't hit his bloodstream yet. Shit, the beer has barely hit his stomach, stretching his skin further. He's not drunker. He's... he's more turned on. From... from sitting in Steve's lap and being provided for, right?

Turned on from that or not (more not that than that, if Bucky is honest with himself), all Bucky can really focus on is his costume. He's barely covered at all but, still, suddenly it feels much too tight. Like it's cutting into him.

Oh. Ugh.

Bucky leans back into Steve. Pressing him against the couch, his back to Steve's chest. His stomach sloshes. Normally he's smaller and lighter than Steve but tonight Steve really sinks back under him.

Steve drops the empty bottle carelessly between his thigh and the side of the couch. It's forgotten instantly as he teases, "what'd you say when you get what you want, Buck?"

"Th-" a hiccup attacks Bucky, jostling his gut in its tight prison "-thank you."

"Nu-uh," Steve tuts behind him, hands now casually thrown around his middle. Around his round middle. "How'd'ya really say it, baby?" He lays on the southern accent thick.

Bucky can't think of anything. He's blanking in favor of focusing so heavily on how much he wants to melt into this couch (and Steve). Stomach heavy and tight, body thrumming with pleasant levels of arousal and heat, he feels heavier than he's ever felt before in his whole life. He could lie here forever. He doesn't want to think.

Steve prods his side.

Bucky groans, feeling tender, as if his skin is stretched just as thin as the fabric of his costume.

It doesn't deter Steve though, stubborn as ever, "how'd a cow say thank you, Buck?"

Bucky giggles, oh, okay, he gets it. "MoOoOOo-" he laughs his way through the sound, making it wobbly and funnier.

Steve thumps his sensitive tummy like it's a watermelon he's trying to decide the ripeness of. It hurts but also-?

Okay. Fuuuck. Fine.

Fine. Something about this is turning him on.

It feels good but is also hurts when Steve hits his tummy like that, saying, "you're welcome," then, "good boy," for answering.

"Steve," Bucky breathes, his dick twitching in his tiny little one-piece.

"More beer?" Steve asks, mischievous and not serious but...

Bucky cannot turn the offer down.

"Take me to the kitchen to get more beer," Bucky turns his head as far over his shoulder as he can, batting his eyes at Steve, hoping his cuteness with assure that he gets what he wants. He doesn't want to get cut off. Not yet. He... he doesn't know if he can fit anymore but he wants more.

More.

Steve is staring at him, eyebrows raised. "Really?"

Bucky stickes his lower lip out. "Really." And rolls, ungracefully, off of his boyfriend with his arms around his basketball belly, trying to assure it doesn't get moved around too much. It does. It sloshes and gurgles. Bucky burps. Being on his side makes him so much more aware of all the pressure inside him. His eyes flutter shut. His toes curl. Just for a second. Savoring the feeling. Heat curls tightly in his dick and balls.

When he's off, Steve hefts himself up and brings Bucky up too immediately after.

Again, the contents of his tummy shifts as he moves. Bucky isn't sober enough to not bite his lip and moan a little.

"You sure you need more?" Steve asks, sliding an arm around his waist like he's injured and not just obscenely full. His eyes flick up and down Bucky's frame... the blue in them is quickly being swallowed by black.

"Positive." Bucky burps behind his hand. "More, c'mon, don't ruin my fffun."

Thankfully Steve needs no more encouragement. Or-

Bucky doesn't think he needed more encouragement because Steve instantly tugged him along with the arm he's got around his expanded waist, moving, but-

"Steeeve, wait, no, I'm serious, I-" Bucky starts to whine but Steve just hushes him, reaching with his other arm to pat Bucky's tummy again rather than politely moving people out of their way, maneuvering through the packed house.

"You'll get what you want, just trust me. 'Kay, Buck?"

Bucky, as much as he maybe shouldn't looking at the record of things Steve has done (namely all the righteous playground fights he got in), does trust Steve. He lets Steve pull him along.

Steve takes Bucky to the guest bedroom. Miraculously, there's no one inside, already fucking in the shelter of the unoccupied upstairs of the house. Steve leads him to the bed. Bucky plops down, letting gravity take him, bouncing a few times. A few burps come out.

"Uuuuuuughhh," Bucky moans gratefully, letting his hands smack (lightly) down against his swollen stomach, loud after having to hold in all his sounds downstairs among the other party goers.

Steve laughs, rubbing the underside of his gut and simply, mysteriously states, "wait here, big boy."

Bucky waits. He hangs in. He rubs his gut. He doesn't think too much about why his cock is hard in this stupid, tiny outfit and when his cock twitches whenever he lets himself think about what would happen if he got his hands on another beer.

"Knock knock," Steve's voice comes from the other side of the door.

Bucky lifts his head up a few inches from the mattress. He sees nothing but the white and black pattern stretched over his inflated-looking tummy. He lazily moans, dropping his head back and digging his fingers into his gut.

"You always this happy to see anyone with beer or just me?" Steve chuckles, squeezing the tent he's pitching in his stupid little costume.

Bucky whines desperately, jerking his hips up. He means to open his mouth and tell him, just you. But what really comes out of him is, "beer?"

Steve laughs, "yeah, Buck, if you can get yourself up, I'll give you the bounty I brought back with me, my little cow."

"Little?" Bucky says, brain seemingly fried.

"My cow." Steve repeats, voice low and dark. He makes a rumbling wordless sound when Bucky gets his arms under himself clumsily, rocking up onto his elbows, then onto his hands, groaning all the while. His abs are too stretched out to be useful and the food packed into his gut is holding him down.

The second Bucky is up, red in the face and panting, he's sweetly repeating it, "your cow."

"Mmm-hmm," Steve hums, herding him back up against the headboard. Bucky's gut feels impossibly bigger like this, propped up against the head of the bed with his legs spread wide. Belly sticking out more than it has ever on Thanksgiving or Christmas or anything. Round. Heavy. Straining his cow-costume. And putting more pressure on his dick.

Then...

Then Bucky spots all that Steve has brought back.

Bucky doesn't know how he managed to hold all of it.

More beer. A bottle of water. Two plates of snacks and a few extra slices of pizza. A couple fistfuls of candy.

Oh.

"Think you can get all of that down for me, cow?" Steve whispers, dragging the plates closer to them, then grabbing the bottles as he throws a leg over both of Bucky's saddling up. His hot, heavy hand drags down the middle of Bucky’s big tummy.

Bucky licks his lips, staring into Steve's dark eyes. Nodding wordlessly.

"Yeah? You think you can get everything in here?" Steve slaps his tummy, making it jiggle.

Bucky moans and he nods again.

"Nope. C’mon, Buck, answer me proper, you gonna fit everything in this big, heavy tummy, aren't you?"

"Y-"

Steve raises an eyebrow.

Bucky's blood burns hotter. He squirms as much as he can under his stomach. Oh. Okay. They're doing this. He takes a deep breath, mouth drying. They're doing this.

"Moo-" he says, not much heart in it.

Steve let's it go easy this time. He pops open a beer, holding the bottle with one hand and Bucky's jaw with his other. Bucky chugs it. Some spills out from the corners of his mouth. His gut is blossoming.

Rounder and rounder and rounder-

Steve gives him the whole bottle. Steve feeds him pizza. Steve unwraps pieces of candy, shoving them between his lips. More beer. Water. More pizza. Chips. Crackers. Candy. Beer. Pizza. Pumpkin bread. Beer. Beer. Water.

"How're you feeling, cow?" Steve rubs his tummy, giving him a break from constant feeding.

"Moooo-" Bucky moans, he's so. full.

"More?"

"Mooooo-" Bucky nods. He can take more. He wants more.

Steve gives him more. And more.

And more.

Feeding him until they're down to nothing but three pieces of candy and a few mouthfuls of beer. Feeding him until Bucky is constantly moaning, his jaw is tired of chewing, and the seams of his costume are literally creaking as he pants. He has literally never been fuller. Never rounder. His skin never more tight and hot and-

Bucky is honestly sure he's going to come without Steve touching him, his dick is aching. Throbbing. He wants to beg please, please, Steve, please touch me! Rub my belly! Jerk me off! Please! I need to come! I need to get out of this fucking costume! But all that comes out are pathetic whimpering, moaning, groaning sounds and moos. He can't stop now that he's started.

And...

Jesus Christ.

Steve feeds him the last piece of candy and all at once-

The seams in Bucky's costume give in to his swollen form. Ripping apart.

Several inches of the seams on the sides of the body suit rip open. Giving Bucky just enough extra breathing room. Letting his gut take up even more space in front of him. Lurching forward. Oh. Everything inside Bucky is on fire. Throbbing with his frantic heart rate. Feeling immensely swollen and impossibly huge and-

Jesusfuckingchrist.

Steve makes everything better worse by groaning and shoving. his. hands. in. the. open. rips. Grabbing his gut and manhandling it under the fabric. Jiggling it and pressing down and-

Bucky comes.

Bucky comes with an embarrassingly loud moan. He is devastated. Pleasure wrecks his body. His nerves. He's being unraveled. Eyes rolling to the back of his head, back and neck arching, and his whole tummy clenching impossibly tighter. Christ. It feels so good.

Bucky comes to the sound of Steve praising him, "good. Good cow."

I hope you enjoyed 😳