#where did the whole month go T.T

[shivunin]

It is a lot harder to wrap up a few quick gift fics for friends when you live in the Time Vortex

[feuqueerfire]

Wandee Goodday Ep 8 Live Blogging

Watching it on Sunday because I was too preoccupied with The Worst of Evil and Infernal Affairs (2002) on Saturday, means I got spoiled for stuff.

Ep 8 (June 23)

8-1

necklace already

is this real or is this still a fake relationship, can we be clear. you're not specifying so i'm meant to take it as a return to before times but like... what

SO WE STILL CAN'T KISS??? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ANYTHING!!!

oh, Yak wanted to become the champion

do not embarrass me anymore, why are you doing 'pound' innuendos in front of Yak's brother and the gym members

Enough what do you mean how many rounds T.T i cannot handle such embarrassment

i know from spoilers that Taem seems to like Yak now or something and that AJ's character may not be good?

and the thigh massage or whatever in front of everybody

"my boyfriend is so good at making up stories" lmfao Cher get him

8-2

Dee literally left Japan ASAP, why are you now again asking him to join you at this ball?

does Dr. Kwan have no tact or is she purposefully getting Ter to herself quickly because she guessed that Ter was asking Dee?

I truly don't understand what the point of this conflict and fake breakup was if their thoughts and relationship haven't changed at all; still we're pretending it's fake, no kisses, deadline in 2 months like huh

8-3

money problemos

Yei and Cher are cute. is the engagement thing I've seen gonna happen here?

so is this not an ad? They didn't even state or show the name of the product

so this was recorded and edited before the Marriage Equality bill passed right, that was only a few days ago. or maybe this was recorded around the time the previous step that got passed around late March.

awwww T.T

i thought Taem liked Ohm and that Ohm was gonna be a good guy, so what's going on

Help D:

Vivi in a saree and gold jewelry

Ter is so fucking rude man not only is he asking Dee again but he literally has Kwan as a dance partner? If he chooses to dance with Dee, what will happen to Kwan? asshole, you can't just abandon your date

8-4

I'm so confused about Taem and Ohm's storyline. I'm also not a big fan of female friend gets abused/cornered/assaulted to create angst between our main bl ship trope, though the way they're handling this one isn't Too Bad (stuff like Star In My Mind pisses me off more) but Yak def should've told Dee what Taem sent so that they're on the same page agh

Dee calling Ter too vanilla

Kwon should actually kill Ter. Dee and Kwon team um and just eliminate this man because not only has he kept staring at Dee but now he's WALKING AWAY FROM KWON TO DEE?!?!?!

and ofc perfect timing to run in

Ter is confused by where Kwon is? does he expect her to just stand there waiting for him?

the dance scene isn't doing anything for me, I think My School President and Never Let Me Go did better in that way, though I guess the dancing was more of a throughline in those shows than it is here

ahhh Yak confessed. straight to I think I love you

I think I'm gonna have to pretend the ep7/8 conflict doesn't exist because it started weirdly and ended too fast without proper resolution and the kiss was anti-climactic and nothing in their relationship changed after the fight... They could've skipped over the whole thing because apparently they're still fake boyfriends who don't kiss... I liked this ep more than last ep so hopefully we can patch things up and get on track again. Cher and Yai's proposal scene was very cute, very endearing.

The Taem-Ohm storyline direction threw me off and also, are we meant to assume that after that whole fiasco Taem's just like alright Yak, off you go to your prom with your fake-bf I'll be fine byeee. I did say this one wasn't doing as badly in the "female friend is assaulted to build tension between our male love interests" trope as some other shows but that doesn't mean it's not off-putting.

Next ep seems like it's Yak planning on win over Dee, which is funny because that man also is in love.

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

This event is so cute!! I'm feeling a bit down so, let's indulge and I'll introduce you to myself and Akkun~

He did my hair back when he was a trainee. He took forever but it didn't matter because we talked the whole time. He was super charismatic and funny and we hung out a few after that, and started dating a couple of months later.

We now live in a cheap, slightly crappy (but cosy) little apartment in one of those hipster neighbourhoods of Tokyo near where he works.

Even though I work from home we don't get to spend that much time together as he works alot, but on the days we do have together, Akkun usually drags my sad, depressed ass out of bed to go for a bike ride or look round all the vintage clothes stores in the neighbourhood he likes.

We get boba on the way home.

We have a cat called Peaches and i'm not keen on dogs but Akkun really wants one, "Just a little one, like a pomeranian or something..it can come to work with me!" and he hasn't realised I know he's teamed up with Chifuyu to try and convince me.. should I say yes?

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◇─◇──◇── @ch-xr x Akkun! ──◇──◇─◇

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□ Every tip you ever gave him, he spent on something for you. The candies at his station are only for you (and for him when he's thinking of you before you started dating). Your first dinner and boba date was also funded in part through your tips.

□ He's really into craft beers and saves all the can's stickers. You save some too for a cute scrap book covering or some other sentimental gift.

□ He has a shockingly good sense for home decor (on a budget) so your home has always felt so comforting which is lovely for your work-from-home situation! There's always the sense of him around!

□ He gets really, really sad when peaches isn't being playful. He has also trained her to offer a paw before every meal.

□ The pet shop boys are all watching all the shelters for compatible dogs. When you know, you'll know, but I really think you'll end up with a rescue dog at some point.

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So you guys go secondhand shopping a lot? Does he just love to dress you? T.T that's such a cute dynamic when one partner really likes fashion and loves to express their love to their partner by suggesting outfits and encouraging them to try stuff T.T

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Come make my day, tell me about your self ship, and get some hcs of your own.

[beforeiread-studies]

26.01.2023 || My brain is still confused over what day is today. Thursday? Friday? The important thing is that my German language exam is tomorrow and I know NOTHING. Or better, all the ingredients are in my head, but now I need to bake them into a very organized and flexible cake (where am I going with this metaphor?). Ladies, gentlemen and non-binary and agender, today we are going to create Talking Points*.

Things to do today:

Write journal entry

Read 3 entries from Nella Last's diaries (last night I dreamt that I was at the 50% mark of this book but no, I'm still at 25% T.T I was so happy T.T I'm never going to finish this book T.T) [so, I did a bit of math and if I read 2 pages a day it's going to take me 5 months. rip me]

Send email with internship documents to Vienna

Study German (Anki, ViB, Rubinrot)

Create Talking Points for: Thomas Mann, Adolfo, that Goethe book, Maestro Pulce, Il Messaggero dell'Assia, Hansel & Gretel

Print my Aschenputtel essay

Read my Aschenputtel essay (because I have forgotten all about it 100%)

Ask for the documents I need to apply for the scholarship!!!!!

That should keep me busy the whole day.

*Talking Points: stuff I can start talking about at the exam when the professor asks me about X argument.

[scarletemeterio-thesecond]

I admire your work so much!! Can I request a zuko x reader where they recently just got into an arranged marriage and zuko is very cold and closed off even though the reader tries really hard to make him warm up to her. So she finally gives up and accepts her sad fate. But she does something that reminds him of his mom and he realized he’s been a jerk this whole time but realizes he’ll have to work hard to gain her love and trust back because he notices that she’s been acting a lot different T.T

Omg you admire my work!? I'm- 🥺 Thank you so much, it really means a lot! I really liked this idea and I'm already saying this: omg the angst! Also, yes, I named your friend Lee because we all know it's a very common Fire Nation name and I couldn't think of anything else. Hope you like it!

•••

Failed Expectations (Zuko x Fem!Reader)

Warnings: None.

Genre: Angst.

Fandom: Avatar, The Last Airbender.

Summary: See request.

Word Count: 1225

part 2

Life in the Fire Nation had been hard during the last years, but it seemed to be even harder inside the palace. You felt so out of place there and even though you were happy that Fire Lord Ozai was gone, being married to his son wasn’t perfect either. He wasn’t a bad person, everyone could see that, but for some reason, he was very distant with you. Well, distant was an understatement, he barely talked to you and whenever he did, he was always cold. It had been a little over a month since your marriage, so you were still hopeful that things could change, but at the same time, you were tired of the situation. Still, you always tried to exchange conversations with him, hoping he would eventually warm up to you, but it seemed to be useless. 

With every passing day, you convinced yourself that it just wasn’t worth it, no matter how much you wanted it to work. In the first week, everything was a little awkward, but you thought it was only because you’d just met. However, during the second week, you realized that he didn’t really like you. You were both at some sort of party and, of course, you were together, but you barely even talked to each other, and at the end of the night, he informed you that all your belongings had been moved from the guest room to your new permanent room. You thought it was weird how he’d worded that phrase, but you didn’t pay much attention since you were sure you two would share a room, but you were wrong. The new room was beautiful, but the fact that he didn’t want you near him made you feel a little sad. Of course, you understood, you were complete strangers even though you were married, so you didn’t say anything about it.

The last two weeks were the same, you shared a few words with each other and you were by his side most of the time pretending to be a happy couple, but it was all fake. You wanted to be happy with him and you wanted to feel welcomed, but it just wasn’t the case. Loving him seemed distant for you, maybe you’d never do, but you wanted to at least be friends with him, and he had a completely different mindset. Once you understood that, it seemed logical to be realistic and acknowledge that probably things would never be the way you wanted to, you had to accept that; and so you did. You started to become a little more distant and less cheerful than usual and at first, he didn’t really notice, but after a few days, he realized you were acting differently. He didn’t think much of it, though, and things remained that way since then. 

Zuko had a meeting that morning and one of your friends told you that they were going to visit you, so you were almost done getting ready when one of the guards told you that your friend had arrived. During your time at the palace, you’d had enough time to wander around, and the minute you saw the turtle duck pond, you fell in love with it, so that’s where you and your visitor were meeting. The minute you saw them you wrapped your arms around their neck and then you both sat on the ground. You talked for a few minutes, trying to catch up after what felt like an eternity and having breakfast when suddenly he asked how were things were with your husband.

“It’s a bit complicated,” you stated. Your friend looked at you a bit confused so you kept talking. “I swear, I’ve tried everything to make him like me, but he just seems to hate me. I don’t know, I miss my friends and my family and I don’t feel very welcomed here, you know?”

“Have you told him how you feel?”

“No, Lee. Of course, I haven’t.” You said almost in a whisper. “We haven’t talked much but I already feel that we won’t be happy together,” you said with sadness in your voice while letting out a sigh. “I thought that maybe we could at least be close friends but he clearly doesn’t want that. If I could go back in time, I would’ve begged my family to break the engagement and stop me from marrying him,” you admitted with tears in your eyes. You didn’t want to feel like that, but you couldn’t help it. 

You wiped the tears out of your face and realized there was some bread left, so you got closer to the fountain and started feeding the turtle ducks. Your friend joined you and a few moments later, it was time for them to leave. You said goodbye and you were surprised when you saw Zuko a few meters away from you. What you didn’t know though, was that he’d been there for quite a while already. He wasn’t spying on you, but he couldn’t help it when he heard you two talking about him, so he stayed. 

When he heard what you said, he just couldn’t believe it, and he realized that he hadn’t been treating you well. There was no real explanation for his behavior, but he knew it wasn’t right. Additionally, the moment he truly became aware of his mistake was when he saw you feeding the turtle ducks and you reminded him of Ursa.  He hated himself for making you feel so bad, and he couldn’t help but think that he was acting the same way his father probably acted towards his mother. He was repeating the past, the same past he always tried to run away from. You said goodbye to your friend and suddenly he saw you approaching him and remembered why he was looking for you in the first place.

“Did you hear anything?” You asked worriedly.

“No, I didn’t, (Y/N). I was looking for you and got here just now,” he lied.

“Did something happen?” Your voice was calm but at the same time very monotone and he could tell he’d messed up.

“Yeah, well, nothing bad but I came here to tell you that we’re having lunch with our guests from the Earth Kingdom in a few hours.” He was a bit nervous and if you’d had been paying attention to him, you would’ve realized.

“Oh, okay. Is there something else you wanted to say?”

“No, that’s all, (Y/N).” It was a bit weird hearing your name coming out of his mouth, especially since your interactions with him were practically nonexistent and he rarely said your name, but you didn’t really care anymore.

“Then I’ll just go. I’ll meet you later by your room if you want to,” and you started walking away but he stopped you, grabbing your hand. “What?” You asked, very confused, and even tired of everything. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, I don’t… But maybe-.”

“Then, if you don’t mind, I’ll be waiting in my room until lunch, Your Majesty,” you interrupted him. You quickly turned around and started walking towards your room, not giving him any time to stop you again. He stood there for a while, thinking about everything that had led to that moment and realized that, maybe, he had already lost you.

•••

Hi! I literally just finished writing this but I didn't want to wait to post it since I haven't been posting that much lately. School is a bit stressful right now, so probably I'll start updating more frequently in the weekends, but I'll try to post things mid-week. Hope everyone has a good day/night!

-Mica

[bakugohoex]

For the 1K event! Dabi angst number 3!!!🥴

“you don’t remember me?”

pairing: dabi x gender neutral reader

cw: angst, one mention of the word suicide, language, memories in italics, mentions of blood and minor manga spoilers (dabi’s identity) 

word count: 3000+

a/n: me writing after wanting to cry all night, i know its a shock but yeah my 1k event really needs to finish now because this is getting out of hand

summary: in which after losing your memory in what seemed to have been a week, the capture of shigaraki is the only thing on your mind but when you meet face to face with a distant memory, the reality of the torture the heroes inflicted on you finally comes to light

1k event masterlist

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

The task at hand was simple, corner the league, grab Shigaraki and take him into custody. It was the first thing you heard from Keigo, the first words that were uttered to you as you entered the cell. You didn’t know why you were there in the first place, memories forgotten as all Keigo told you was how you were good. How you were going to join the heroes side and defeat the league, that’s everything he told you. The bandages wrapped around your waist as you saw your wrist wrapped in cloth as well, you unwrapped it softly, the way the brown burnt marks encased your wrists. You dared not touch it, instead waiting to be let out of the cell.

Keigo’s eyes flashed at you, he stared at the screen as he saw you pace about. You had forgotten it all, he was almost glad you had because without you the next actions of the heroes would be flawed. He looked at Endeavor who smirked at the you, he was intrigued wanting to vitalise that power and create chaos amongst the villains.

“She cant control her quirk yet.”

“She will.” Endeavor spoke as Keigo didn’t speak staring at how your hand would occasionally touch at the bandages, you really had no clue what had occurred prior. No clue of the horrors that had been exerted upon you. Keigo left to go and collect you, having already seen how other pro heroes had arrived.

He stepped out from the room, taking a sharp breathe as he walked the long stretch to where your cell was.

“If it isn’t the number two pro hero Hawks, come to rescue me.” Your tone had been filled with malice as you flew around him, yellow wisps around your hands as you were about to shoot the energy at him.

Hawks stared, the hatred you had for heroes, the way you were ready to murder him in a matter of seconds. “I can save you Y/n, I will.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

Hawks entered the confines of your room; you gave him a soft smile as he took a step closer. “Hey.” He nodded at your greeting, moving to sit beside you on the bed, “is everything okay?”

“Yeah, we need you though, I explained before about capturing Shigaraki.” You nodded remembering his earlier words, he had told you, you had been out for a month, but everything still felt new and with the amnesia it didn’t seem real at all. “It’s happening now, and we need you, we need the h…hero in you.”

He almost felt bad for lying but to bring you back, get you to become good again, this was the only way. You nodded as his hands moved against the bandages, “I need these off.” He began unwrapping them all, brown skin burnt as you saw the engrained initials T.T against your wrist. Keigo covered it with his fingers as he turned your arms around, Dabi had gone too far in suppressing your power.

“Y/n, don’t you fucking dare.” Dabi’s words echoed throughout the sky, the way you flew down as he saw the tears form around your eyes, “I…I can save you.”

“Let me go…”

You shook the memory aside, a familiar man…his face seemed to bring comfort. The villainous intent made you shake your head. He was unknown and your aim was to find Shigaraki and capture him, Keigo helped you outside, he saw how you still had a hospital gown on. Your costume had been destroyed in the blast, but you wouldn’t remember something like that. You couldn’t and it didn’t seem like you cared. “I’ll find you some clothes.”

He had spoken just as he had brought you in front of the pro heroes, a tense setting as they looked up and down at you. They tried to hide their disgust, but you could almost sense it, you didn’t know what your quirk was, but Keigo had told you it had been something to do with manipulating energy sources around you. You however had no idea how to ever start using this quirk, you looked back missing Keigo’s presence, before feeling his hand go against your back.

“I fucking love you, we promised till the end.” The same voice from before spoke out, his black hair and almost burnt features seemed distorted, but you could see yourself.

You held his hands both looking out onto the Tokyo skyline, “till the end.”

“Everything okay?” Keigo spoke as he passed you a bag, you nodded as he directed you to the bathroom on the other end.

Slowly walking inside, eyes being met with every single pro hero who looked to hate you. You looked into the bag, the entire black outfit with a black coat to match covered your body as you stared into the mirror. Eyes looking unfamiliar as you looked at a reflection of someone who wasn’t you, another you in another lifetime.

Your fingers moved to trace your face in the mirror before seeing the initials again, T.T. they seemed so familiar yet so far away. Looking at your burnt wrists, they seemed fragile yet when you touched them it began to peel away, showing your skin again. You traced the initials feeling another burst of energy come through into your mind.

“You fucking son of a bitch, don’t you dare touch her.” The voice screamed as he looked to be holding onto you, holding onto your limp body.

You couldn’t make out who the man was talking to in your fluttering eyes, but he seemed to be coming closer with every step. Your breath hitched as you saw the wings open up, realising that it was Keigo, he had saved you.

Wiping away stray tears you looked at yourself one last time before going back to the others. They seemed to be a bit more peaceful now as Keigo had explained the situation. His hand on your back reassuringly as the plan got dealt out with you and Keigo on the front lines.

His reassuring words were helping you to get through this all, his eyes soft as you both walked towards where the apparent league of villains hideout was. You only knew the both of you were somewhat bait for Shigaraki, which you didn’t really understand as how could you serve any importance.

Keigo dismissed your questions as he stared up at the twilight sky, almost preoccupied and not wanting to face the truth. You dismissed it as you both finally saw the scene; it was an abandoned lot right in the centre of the city. You looked out seeing shadows inside as you didn’t know how the two of you were even going to create a scene until Keigo did something you hadn’t expected.

“Hold on.” He grabbed onto your waist bringing you closer and closer up into the air, the wind against your skin, flying higher and high…letting you go. You fell to the ground stumbling as you looked up at his hand in the air as you felt the ground get closer and closer.

Until it stopped, energy had circled your fingers from the lights and vehicles around you as just as you reached the ground, a burst of energy stopped you creating flashing lights and fire in your way. Keigo saw you apologising but you didn’t say a word, staring at your fingers as you looked at the yellow wisps.

“It can’t be.” Both Keigo and you turned around, seeing three unfamiliar faces yet they seemed so familiar. You looked at the man who had been your target, Shigaraki with his many hands of the dead clothing on him.

“Target sighted.” Keigo spoke as you saw the helicopters and pro heroes begin to surround them, it had been easy, but they seemed ready to fight. Yet the tall man with black hair and burns just like on your wrists stared directly at you.

He stepped forward but pro heroes had already come, quirks out to kill him if necessary. “How are you…how are you alive?”

He stared at you, the soft face he remembered from all that time ago, the way you still seemed to have a sense of love inside of you. But he met a frown as you looked in confusion, hiding behind Keigo as you looked at him for the first time in horror. “Y/n, it’s okay I’ve got you.”

The rest of the league had begun fighting the pro heroes, Keigo telling you to stay out of trouble as you saw the man come and try to get closer to you but getting stopped by another person’s quirk. You finally saw the blue flamed in action, the way he burnt everything around him lighting up the entire street as pro heroes continued to try and capture him. “Y/n.” He repeated through the screams of civilians, “you don’t remember me.” You put your hands to your ears not wanting to hear him speak.

Why cold? A dark bleak room around you where everything had been cold. You saw Keigo, saw him watch over on the other side as you got tortured. Belt across your mouth as another electric shock hit your head making your whole-body frazzle. How long had it been? How long had you really been trapped?

“The names Dabi.” He spoke out, it had moved to another setting one where a dark alleyway had stretched out in front of a bar.

“Y/n.”

He looked down at you raising an eyebrow, “you really think you could be a villain.”

“Says the one who looks like he walked out of a horror movie.” You snickered as he scratched the back of his head.

“Whatever, you’ll get caught within a week.”

You rolled your eyes as your lip twitched upwards, “If I last a week then you owe me some fun.”

He had begun to walk towards the entrance of the hideout before turning around to answer you, “deal.”

Your hands grasped your ears harder as memories began to surface, screams of the civilians you and Dabi had killed together. You felt every emotion run through you, every moment in time with a man you had forgotten.

His soft lips against your own as he tenderly kissed your lips, rough hands against your cheeks as his tongue gilded inside. He felt you melt into it as your hands grabbed the back of his neck, a handful of hair as you felt something you hadn’t had in a long, long time. “I love you.”

It had been a whisper and he had heard it, his eyes softening as he looked at you saying the three words for the first time himself.

Your eyes met Dabi’s as you saw him try to destroy everything around him, maybe he didn’t care about being caught or maybe he had given up after seeing you forget. But you remembered, you remembered your relationship with him, remembered your firsts of everything but what had occurred however long it had been was still a mystery. You needed to remember, and the only way was through being with Dabi one last time.

You moved through the destruction almost running towards him, pro heroes realising you had broken their torture, Keigo trying to grab you. As yellow energy swooped around you filling your fingers as you pushed the heroes aside, the league seeming to realise they had gotten you back.

Dabi looked at you, almost pushing himself to get past the fires and pro heroes, as you pushed everything to the side. Your mind had started to become your own, as walls began to break inside, every step towards him making more memories emerge.

“You lasted a week then, what fun do you want?” He muttered, he had already seen the chaos you had caused and couldn’t lie and say he didn’t see you as an asset, but the way you gave a chilling smirk made him go cold.

You leaned against him, eyes looking up as you spoke, “I want to see the stars.”

“What the fuck?” He murmured, “what are you fi…”

“Please.” You pouted and with that single look he had taken you up to a hill to watch the sunset and nightfall erupt. He didn’t realise it then but that was the first time he had ever felt love in his heart, after all these years of torture from his father he had gained something new as you leant against his body. Pointing out each constellation and where the next would be, he had fallen for you in that time.

“Dabi.” You screamed as you ran into his arms, letting the yellow energy encompass you as he held you. Held onto the woman he hadn’t seen in a year, the woman who had been taken away from him, he looked into those soft eyes of yours, the same ones he had seen when you went to go watch the stars.

He kissed your forehead as you both stayed in each other’s arms before he leant down to capture your lips. His soft lips brushing against your own, love and lust filled but most of all the memories of that day had finally occurred.

“Y/n, don’t you fucking dare.” Dabi’s words echoed throughout the sky, the way you flew down as he saw the tears form around your eyes, “I…I can save you.”

“Let me go…” Yellow surrounding you as you and the league had been confronted by pro heroes, they began to circle you and you only had one option left to save them, to save him.

The yellow became brighter as the rest of the city turned dark, all the energy cultivating inside of you. You were burning, feeling your head burn as the yellow stayed firm in your grasps. The cries of civilians and pro heroes trying to attack you being prevalent before you burst. Flames capture the entire city, buildings burning, and pro heroes being shot down to the ground as each essence of your power burns out of you. Until you fell, you fell to the ground as Dabi tried to get a hold of you, tried to grab onto you, but saw the warp gate surround your body and his own.

He instantly moved to grab your limp body, the way you collapsed in his arms unable to even form words as your eyes became heavier and heavier. He kissed your cheek as he looked down at you, he knew if he had still had tear ducts he’d be crying but instead all that formed were I love you’s and pleas for your survival.

He saw Kurogiri get slammed to the side by Hawks as he stared with hatred at him.

“You fucking son of a bitch, don’t you dare touch her.” He screamed as he held onto your limp body.

You couldn’t make out who the man was talking to in your fluttering eyes, but he seemed to be coming closer with every step. Your breath hitched as you saw the wings open up, realising that it was Keigo, he was ready to take you.

Keigo looked at Dabi before pinning his feathers to the man, his eyes filled with fury until he felt Endeavor grab him and push him onto another building. The last thing Dabi saw was you in Keigo’s’ arms being taken away.

“How long?” You whispered as you both stopped kissing, Dabi didn’t want to answer that instead looking down at the burn marks that he hadn’t caused. He looked down at his initials kissing it softly before looking up.

You repeated your question waiting for an answer, “one year.”

Holding onto him again, you kept him close by you as the yellow energy field kept you both safe. You both would stay safe forever, you would be together and have the happiness you deserve with him. You cupped his cheek to kiss him again, having missed the feeling of his lips against your own, the torture and near death you had experienced. Was all for this, was all to meet the man you loved on…

Darkness. Your body collapsed as Dabi felt your limp body against his own, blood seeping through onto your clothes as it went against his fingers. A bullet, not just a normal one, one made from your own energy had passed through the field and collided with your stomach. It wasn’t a warning bullet, they had killed you, Dabi collapsed just as he had a year ago. Eyes looking up at the destruction ahead as he held onto you, seeing how tears poured out. “I love you.”

“No, please not again.” He whispered seeing Kurogiri ready to warp around everybody, he needed you to come with them. He couldn’t watch you get tortured and forget him all over again, the sounds of pro heroes ready to shoot once more as the warp went around the two of you.

The countryside where the league watched and stared at your limp body. “I’m so…sorry, for no…not being…there.”

“It doesn’t matter, just stay with me, come on Y/n, stay with me.” His words were pleading, he needed you to be okay, but the bullet had hit a vital organ and you and him both knew you had no time left.

“Say it.” You whispered.

He knew what you wanted him to say, the words that would finally bring you peace, “I love you Y/n.”

With those four words everything became dark as your arm went to the grass and Dabi held your corpse in his hands, blood covering the two of you as he looked up at the sky. He had always thought the two of you would die together, a type of double suicide but now finally being left without you for good this time. He would never know the torture you went through, but as he kissed your head one last time, he would rid the world of fake heroes in your name. For that had been the dream of the two of you ever since that night watching the stars.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

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[wydguk]

exile - kth

pairing: taehyung x reader (ft. namjoon x reader)

genre: angst, tae and y/n are exes

warnings: really angsty.... there are arguments and screaming matches in here... sort of toxic relationship? they're bad at communication

word count: 3.4k

summary: it took you five whole minutes to pack the entirety of your relationship with taehyung and to leave.

note: I'M BACK!! namjoon has like one line in this i'm so sorry T.T there's like zero fluff. like absolutely no fluff. and chaeyoung makes an appearance in this! it's up to you if u wanna picture park chaeyoung (rosé) as chae or son chaeyoung from twice as chae lol.

ALSO! this is based on taylor swift and bon iver's song exile on the folklore album! i do not own the song or the lyrics in any way, shape or form.

/

i can see you standing, honey

with his arms around your body

taehyung walks out of the store, scrolling through his phone. his day is just as mundane as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow. it’s been mundane since he last saw you.

his feet suddenly come to a stop when he hears your laugh ahead of him, but he shakes his head, reprimanding himself for thinking about you again. he’s about to continue his way down the street when he hears you laughing again and he looks away from his phone to see you laughing in someone else's arms.

he blinks. once, twice.

you’re there. you’re really there. he can hear his heart pounding in his ears and falling to his feet and jumping up into his throat all at once at the mere sight of you. you seem to notice him too, eyes widening before looking up at whoever you’re with. only then does taehyung register the fact that you’re not alone — you’re with someone else while he still wonders what went wrong every night before he sleeps.

you look happy. pure, genuine happiness is written in your eyes. the stranger’s arms are wrapped around you as you avoid taehyung’s eyes, continuing down the street as you listen to what your partner is saying. taehyung feels sick to his stomach.

laughin', but the joke's not funny at all

“you know, i’ve been thinking about removing my spine. i feel like it’s only holding me back!”

as you walk closer towards taehyung, he can hear the joke the other man is making.

you let out another laugh just as you walk right past him and he frowns. that is one of the worst jokes taehyung has ever heard and you laughed at it like it’s one of the best. which is misleading, considering the fact that taehyung used to tell you jokes all the time. his jokes were definitely funny. how have your standards gotten so low?

he lets out a breath he didn’t even realise he’d been holding, but this only allows him to smell your perfume, and it’s still the same perfume he’d given you on your last birthday.

your last birthday is probably the last time he really felt content. whole.

to pack us up and leave me with it

and it took you five whole minutes

holdin' all this love out here in the hall

taehyung doesn’t like to think of you because in spite of all the good memories, your last argument still ricochets in his head. withstanding the shouts and crashes is impossible when all he wants is to remember you laying in his arms, sharing a tub of ice cream.

three weeks after your birthday, you and taehyung sit at the dining table in silence, staring down intensely at your food. you haven’t fought since the week after your birthday, when you threw insults at each other just because the other couldn’t keep up with chores, or call to say they were okay. taehyung still thinks about the way you shouted at him.

-

“i don’t remember why i ever wanted to be with you!”

taehyung exhales, running a hand through his hair. “you don’t mean that, y/n. you’re just upse-”

“upset? yeah, i am upset. why shouldn’t i be? am i the one making mistakes? no! it’s you. it’s all you, taehyung!” you yell. “you have some nerve, taehyung.”

“so now it’s my fault? everything is my fault, because you’ve been the perfect girlfriend this whole time. you haven’t made a single mistake, and you have nothing to own up to, because you’re just so, so perfect, aren’t you, y/n?” taehyung is breathless and his blood is boiling.

“shut up! i don’t care. talk to me when you’re mature enough to own up to your mistakes.” you walk off and slam the bedroom door, leaving taehyung speechless. “real mature, y/n! go ahead, keep slamming the doors like it makes you any more mature.”

-

taehyung is jolted back into the present when he hears you set your fork down onto your plate. “tae, are you going to finish that? i’m about to wash the dishes,” you speak quietly, standing up to go to the kitchen. “i’ll wash it myself,” he replies, and he watches you enter the kitchen without a word.

he follows you in after a few minutes, where you’ve just finished washing your own dishes. instead of leaving, you lean against the island counter and he looks back at you. “i think we need to talk, tae.”

taehyung lets out a low chuckle as he looks down at the sink. “go ahead,” he’d already seen this coming, but now that it’s here, he doesn’t know how to act.

you’re silent. only when taehyung faces you do you speak. “i think we should break up,” you start. “i know,” he replies. “is this okay with you?” you reach out for his hand but he runs it through his hair before you get the chance to.

“y/n, you don’t have to stay if you’re not happy. regardless if i’m okay with it or not, i can’t just ask you to stay for my sake.” he sighs. he’s handling this better than he thought.

“thank you, taehyung.” you’re crying, but you wipe away your tears before they can fall. “i’ll… i’ll go soon.” you don’t look at him because you if you do, you know you’ll be crying your eyes out and convincing yourself to stay.

taehyung sits on the couch and stares straight ahead at the television screen, which is playing an action movie he has no intention to pay any mind to. all he can focus on is the sound of you shuffling around behind him, packing everything you own into your suitcase. he thinks about how easy it is for you to pack up the entirety of your relationship in a few minutes.

“tae?” you call out, standing by the door. his heart shatters when he realizes this is probably the last time he’ll see you in a long time. he gets off the couch and takes in your face, capturing your visage into his memory one last time. when you reach out for his hand, he doesn’t avoid it again. he won’t be able to do this again.

“i love you,” he whispers. “i love you too,” you look down at your intertwined hands before walking out and closing the door, leaving all the love behind with taehyung.

if you’ve thought about him since then, you won’t admit it, and he doesn’t know it.

i think i've seen this film before

and i didn't like the ending

taehyung refuses to think about the breakup again. he hates the way it ended.

you're not my homeland anymore

so what am i defending now?

taehyung watches you walk farther and farther away from him, and all he wants to do is reach out for you. he wants to rip you away from that stranger and feel you in his arms again, feel your warm hand in his.

but you’re not his anymore, and he let you go all those months ago. he has no reason to feel this way. the green eyed monster shouldn’t be clawing away at his rational thoughts, yet still taehyung’s feet are begging to let him run after you and make you his again. he wants to return things back to the way they were, to the pure love you had for each other.

he has no reason to feel this way.

you were my town, now i'm in exile, seein' you out

when did things change? you were his home and his heart. it’s been months and he still doesn’t understand.

i can see you starin', honey

like he's just your understudy

you’re laughing at another one of namjoon’s jokes when you feel someone’s eyes on you, their stare heavy. when you look ahead, it’s taehyung. the same taehyung who you left alone in his apartment all those months ago. the same taehyung you laid with in bed every night. the same taehyung whose shirt you spilt coffee all over, and the same taehyung you met at the museum all those years ago.

it’s taehyung.

your eyes widen and you turn away as quicker than you can blink, muttering underneath your breath. “it’s my ex.” namjoon’s grip around you tightens. sneaking a glance at taehyung again, you can see how his eyes are unblinking. it’s not written on his face or in his body language, but from his eyes alone you can already tell how he feels about namjoon.

there is nothing violent or scary about his stare, but it’s almost arrogant. he looks at namjoon like he’s just a temporary replacement despite the fact that you both know you’re never getting back together.

like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

taehyung isn’t a violent person. he’s the type of person to calmly talk things out, the type of person to break up a fight. he’d never even hurt a fly. once, you watched as he picked up a spider and let it crawl across the balcony railing while you shrieked from inside.

so it’s shocking when you watch as his hands twitch and his jaw clenches. taehyung’s definitely protective, but what does he have to protect now? why does he look like he’s about to pummel namjoon into the ground? he agreed to let you go.

second, third, and hundredth chances

balancin' on breaking branches

you gave him so many chances. so many opportunities to apologize.

but did he? no.

those eyes add insult to injury

he probably thinks you got over him quicker than you did. in fact, it took you weeks that bled into months to get over him. there were numerous occasions where you considered knocking on his door and taking it all back, but you never could. it drained you emotionally just thinking about it.

“he made you so happy, y/n,” chaeyoung says as she tries to shake you out of your trance. “just text him or something.” giving up, she flops down next to you on the bed, snatching the tub of ice cream out of your hands.

you groan, shoving your face deeper into the pillow. “he hurt me so bad, chae. i don’t know if i can just forget about it all just to go back to him,” you sit up and let her feed a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth.

“you don’t have to date him again, dummy. it’d still be a good idea for you to get some closure at the very least, right?” you hate how chaeyoung is always right, especially when it comes to these situations. “i don’t want closure.” you state grumpily. “i’m just gonna stay here with you every day and cry about how much i miss him.”

“if you’re gonna do that at least buy your own ice cream…” she hums, and you grin at her before eating another spoonful.

you don’t like the way he’s looking at namjoon. it only rubs in the fact that he’s being jealous when he has no right to be.

it’s completely unfair.

i'm not your problem anymore

so who am i offending now?

before you broke up, he was always complaining about the little things you would or wouldn’t do, nitpicking at the simplest of details. in time, you got used to his nagging and he got used to your habits. even now, in your head, you still hear his voice reminding you to do this and not to do that.

his friends didn’t seem to like you all that much, so you tended to stay home whenever taehyung invited you to spend the night out with his friends. although he’d always frowned whenever you turned him down, he’d brush it off and leave you alone to your sleepless nights waiting up for him.

“text me next time if you’re coming home late, okay?” you whisper as you look at his fluttering eyelashes under the covers.

“i will,” he mumbles sleepily before drifting off, arms tightly wrapped around you.

he never remembered to text you.

it’s foolish of him to look at you like that. he looks agitated and offended and sad all at once but what could you do? he wasn’t yours and you weren’t his to take care of anymore.

i think i've seen this film before

so i'm leaving out the side door

you hate the way he’s making you feel in only a few short seconds, so you look up at namjoon again and laugh at whatever joke he’s making again. it took you this long to get over taehyung and you weren’t going to throw it all away just because you’ve seen him again.

so step right out, there is no amount

of crying i can do for you

when taehyung arrives home, the first thing he does when he gets into his bed is cry. he’s always been alarmingly good at suppressing his emotions but seeing you again after so long has taken its toll on him.

he hasn’t cried like this in a while, but it hurts just as much as the last time.

-

two hours later, taehyung stares up at the ceiling when he suddenly feels the urge to text you. before he knows it, his fingers are typing away uncontrollably and pressing the send button. instead of reading what he sent you, he sets his phone down on his bedside table and falls asleep.

when you arrive home that night, you check your notifications and choke on your spit when you see that taehyung has sent you a message. “chae,” you call out, throwing yourself onto the couch. humming, she comes out of her room. “taehyung texted me.”

her eyes bulge out as she throws herself onto you and pulls your phone out of your grasp. “no way!” she yells, standing up and raising her hands up to her mouth. “you’re kidding me!”

“don’t get too excited!” you laugh, sitting up straight. “he just wants to meet for coffee. it’s no big deal!”

“no big deal? y/n, you haven’t spoken since you broke up!” she lets out a breath, placing her hands on her hips. “he has some god-level timing. right when you and namjoon start going out? unbelievable.”

you reach for your phone, almost tumbling off the couch when chaeyoung pretends she's not returning it to you. begrudgingly sighing, she throws the phone into your lap and cuddles into your side and continues her earlier humming. "it doesn't matter if namjoon asked me out or not. there's going to be nothing romantic about our meetup. we're just gonna talk about whatever he wants to talk about and that's it!" you decide. if you keep repeating it to yourself in your head like a mantra you might start to believe it.

"isn't it strange though? how he's texting you out of nowhere after months and months? he's thinking about you, y/n!" chaeyoung giggles.

"well," you start. "i did see him earlier today while i was out on my date with namjoon…" chaeyoung whips her head around to look at you, shock written all over her face. "y/n, you're joking," squealing, she flails her legs around giddily. "you guys are meant to be. nsmjoon won't mind. he'll understand when he sees you two together."

"chae!" you whine. it would be devastating to break namjoon's heart after how good he's been to you. "i can't break his heart like that, he's done nothing wrong! he's a perfectly sweet guy and he really does care about me."

"are we talking about taehyung or namjoon?" chaeyoung teases, a smirk on her lips.

"chae…" you groan.

"fine, fine! i'll stop. but you have to meet him for that coffee. it's going to be the best coffee meeting you'll ever have in your life. i can feel it in my bones."

you hate how you hope she's right.

-

never being the patient type, your leg bounces restlessly as you wait for taehyung at your table. the coffees you bought for the two of you are still steaming hot when you look up to the sound of the door bells jingling and lock eyes with taehyung, who gives you a sheepish smile.

"hey," he starts. sliding into the chair opposite you. "you didn't have to get me this," he motions toward the coffee.

pushing his cup closer towards him, you shake your head, a tight-lipped smile plastered across your face. "it's nothing," you reply. "so why did you want to meet me here?"

unbeknownst to namjoon, you didn't cancel your plans with him because you had a supposed dentist appointment. if you told him you were going to meet taehyung he surely would've stood guard outside your door to prevent you from leaving while chae would lecture him on letting you make your own decisions.

it was easier this way.

"i just figured we haven't talked in a while. what's up with you? how's it going?" he says. you narrow your eyes at him and take a sip of your coffee. "what reason do we have to talk? we're not in each other's lives anymore." you decide. setting down your cup, your fingers lightly drum against the table, and you watch as his face drops and his eyebrows furrow.

"maybe if you didn't walk out on us we'd still be in each other's lives," he mutters. "w-what?" you gasp, taken aback. "you let me go! i asked you and you said it was fine. would you rather have us both unhappy but still in a relationship?"

leaning back, he sighs. "i was happy, y/n. you-"

"but not happy enough! not the natural happiness that wasn't always on the edge of turning sour. didn't you notice, taehyung? all this time, we've always walked a very thin line." you rant, your feelings getting the best of you. "i didn't and i don't want you to settle for the bare minimum, lo- taehyung." your heart stutters when you almost let his old pet name slip, his eyes meeting yours, unblinking.

taehyung stares at you for a moment. "and how did you know, y/n? that i wasn't happy? that i wasn't content or whole in our relationship?" you pause, throat constricting. "yea, i let you go. but i didn't want to. not for a single second did i ever consider willingly letting you slip away from me. but what could i do? you still left, i had to let you because i knew you'd be happier. but ypu, you didn't even hear me out, and you never gave a warning sign."

"i gave so many signs!" you protest. "i-"

"and i was just supposed to catch on? you couldn't even say it straight to my face?" he's unrelenting, eyes burning holes into your soul. he's angry and he's hurting and you know it's partially your fault. maybe even wholly. "all this time, i never learned to read your mind." he scoffs.

"yea, i guess you never learned to read my mind. and i'm sorry i expected that much from you! but you never turned things around. you didn't try to figure out what was going wrong and if we could mend it." you sputter, and you feel your cheeks starting to heat up.

"i'm saying! you never gave a warning sign. what could i do?" you've never seen taehyung look so small and defeated, and your heart aches in your chest. all you want to do is take him into your arms and tell him everything will be alright.

yet you can't. maybe all those months ago you could've. and you thought you had moved on and you thought he had too, but it's become glaringly obvious that none of you have.

"tae…" his eyes widen and he blinks at you. "taehyung! taehyung. i should go…" you murmur. taking his hand, you study the lines on his palm and the divots on his knuckles and let out a watery smile.

"you always do," he replicates your smile and watches as you stand up. "i love you."

"i love you too," you whisper.

when you walk away, you half expect him to chase after you and beg for you to stay, but you know it's too selfish of you to want it.

when you walk away, he half expects you to turn around like they always do in the movies, but he knows your pride always gets the best of you.

you've both seen this film before, and neither of you liked the ending.

/

note: very unedited and also this was a bitch to re-stylize on tumblr. thank you very much for reading! like or reblog if you enjoyed it and feel free to tell me what u think :) my asks and my dms are always open!

[crystaljins]

River lead me home | 01

Characters: Seokjin x Reader

Word count: 9.2k

Synopsis:  Ever since coming to the human realm when you were child, nothing seems to fit, and this was just supposed to be a simple roadtrip to help you find yourself.

Is that too much to ask for?

Spin-off to A long journey home

Rating: Teens

Notes: You guys are gonna laugh... I tried to upload this yesterday but it screwed up and only the title got posted! Naturally I deleted the post and didn’t get a chance to fix everything up, but it’s finally here! My monster of a fic !!!! Updates will be weekly. Honestly this fic took a lot to write, and it’s been 8 whole months of working on it!!! So I hope you guys enjoy it T.T If not I won’t be made though LOL (edit: @blue1928​ forgot to tag u soz)

p.s. I AM working on the HP prompts I’m just really busy this next couple of weeks LOL

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 FINAL

You’ve never really been particularly fearful of getting in trouble with your mother. She has always been a sweet and timid lady, the kind who would let her daughter get away with murder. And you are an adult, even if you don’t act like it, and so it’s not like your mother can do anything other than express her disappointment with your actions. 

Kim Seokjin, on the other hand, can have you quaking in your shoes with just a look. He was your nextdoor neighbour growing up, even before you all fled your home realm. He has since moved out of his parents’ home into his own apartment to pursue his dream as a doctor (and to take home as many lady friends as he likes without his parents’ knowledge), but he is still very much a stern presence in your life, even as one of your closest friends. He likely feels responsible for you, since though the two of you were young when you were driven into the human world, he is three years older. He did once refer to you as something like an untrained puppy, which you guess is very reflective of how he views you. The result of such feelings of responsibility is him trying his best to fulfill all the duties of being your legal guardian despite having no obligation to do so. The effect is him being terrifyingly stern with you, despite him being a calm, good-humoured guy with everyone else he meets.

Which is why, when you wake up in a hospital bed with your leg wrapped in a cast, you know that today is the day Kim Seokjin kills you. If the job interview that you completely messed up isn’t enough motive for him to seek you out, then the fact that you tried to stop a purse snatcher and ended up breaking your leg in the ensuing scuffle after said thief’s motorcycle fell on you most certainly is. 

In your defence, it wasn’t like you could just leave them be! Yes, you had not been back to your home realm once in the thirteen years since you and every other guardian were driven out, but at your core, you like to think you are still a Guardian. And so, as is custom, you cannot turn down a plea for help. And the young woman screaming in distress as a man on a motorcycle drove past and snatched her purse straight off her shoulder had certainly sounded like a plea for help! Really, Jin should be impressed, because the ensuing chase was something straight out of a movie, what with you in hot pursuit on your own bike (the one both your mother and Jin do not know you own). And you totally would have gotten the purse back if it wasn’t for the slight motorcycle crash. You’re not exactly sure what you hit since the events are a little blurry, but whatever it was, it ended up knocking you out and breaking your leg. 

A slight commotion breaks out at the entrance to the room and by the way onlookers swoon, you know that your time on earth is up. For the only person that can stir such a reaction upon entering a room is Kim Seokjin himself. Guardians naturally fit most of the qualifiers of what humans consider attractive, but even by Guardian standards, Jin is ridiculously handsome. Even though you find him boring and the biggest nag to walk the planet, not even you are immune to his disarming good looks. You could probably sense his aura blindfolded and your eyes are always drawn to him in a crowd and so you easily pinpoint him amongst the crowd of onlookers before he spots you. Today is his day off and so he does not wear his usual doctor’s gown. Instead a well fitted button up shirt and trousers highlights the broadness of his shoulders and the elegance of his figure as he strolls through the room as if he owns it. You recognise the style- that particular combination of button up and trousers are his date clothes. Your heart plummets when you recognise the outfit. Jin will be extra irritated about having to check on you in the hospital on his day off. Why did the paramedics have to take you here of all places? You’ve really signed your life away this time.

He pauses to smile at a nurse who passes by and she is immediately dazzled. Though he is no doubt furious with you, and is frequently irritated by your shenanigans, to the rest of the world he is charming and funny and good-tempered. You watch the exchange with curiosity- the nurse laughs at something Jin says and there’s a faint flush to her cheeks. You will probably never have such an exchange with Jin- even if he relaxed enough to make a joke in your presence, it would probably be at your expense. Jin’s taste in women is very obvious- he likes women that match him in beauty, ones that are fantastic at making you feel like a potato in comparison despite your guardian heritage, however unintentionally. Something in you twinges at the thought- you wouldn’t mind having a normal relationship with Jin. One where he smiles at you and makes jokes and actually enjoys your presence. But he’ll probably never view you like that- he’s made it very clear throughout your friendship what you are to him.

The nurse points in your direction and takes Jin’s distraction as an opportunity to trail her gaze appreciatively over his figure, settling on his profile. She must be new to the hospital if this is the first time that she is experiencing what Jin’s coworkers at the hospital describe as the “Jin effect”. Any humans (and most guardians for that matter) who meet him instantly succumb to his charisma and absurdly handsome face and find themselves desperately in love. This nurse is no exception and you decide to utilise the momentary distraction she has provided Jin when she attempts to get his number by attempting to slide off your bed and scurry away.

A tug at the back of your collar has you stiffening. If this were a movie, there would be an uneasy swell of high-tension violin as you turn your head to find Jin has grabbed the back of your shirt to stop your slow escape. He must have utilised a spot of enhanced guardian speed to be able to cross the room so quickly. The violins in your head begin to screech in terror. Jin merely smiles and it is eerily charming. His cheeks puff out and his lips curl in a way that would dazzle the average onlooker but you see the lethal intent in his eyes. You barely manage to hold back a fearful shudder.

“Nurse Jo!” He calls, and his tone is playful and sweet which contrasts directly with the venom in his dark pupils. In their depths you can foresee your death. “It seems one of our patients is trying to escape.” His tone darkens and drops on the last word and you flinch, preparing for the end.

Only it never comes, and you find Jin hoisting you up by the back of your shirt and with the help of security rushing forward they wrangle you back into bed. They do well- the average human doesn’t stand much chance against the superior strength of a guardian, and you are currently fighting for your life. But with Jin in the mix, they have you strapped to your bed in no time, forced to listen to whatever longwinded and painful lecture Jin has prepared for you

He stands at your bedside, arms folded across his chest. You mentally write your will in your mind- Taehyung can have your Nintendo switch and his girlfriend can go through your clothes and take any that she likes. Your mother gets anything worth more than $20 in your bedroom (though she might be searching for a while to find such an item, if it even exists) and Seokjin can get custody of your evil cat. Maybe it’ll scratch his stupidly handsome face up and you can get revenge from beyond the grave. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Jin asks, and his voice is surprisingly calm. You look away, scratching at where the cast on your leg rubs at the skin of your shin. It’s stupid to wear the cast since with your enhanced healing abilities the break will be better by tomorrow, but the doctors of this world do not know that. 

You are not fooled by the almost friendly, interested tone to his voice- there is anger bubbling behind the mask of polite curiosity. Likely he is holding back to full force of his fury because this is his workplace.

“Well, I’d like to preface by saying I had no choice. Was I supposed to just let the robber go?” You say. You were attempting to placate him before elaborating on the full story, but it appears to have the opposite effect. Jin’s eyes bulge out of his head and his face goes that interesting shade of red that only appears when he’s very, very angry. 

“Robber? You took on a robber?” He says slowly, and you can tell it takes a few moments for the words to process. But gradually, the veins in his neck bulge and his eyes gradually widen and you wince as Jin erupts into what you like to call his “jants- Jin Rants.”. “Ya! Are you crazy? What were you thinking? What if you had been killed? I would have had to tell Auntie and then I would have had to organise your funeral because she would be inconsolable! If I even survived my parents trying to kill me for letting you die at the hands of a ROBBER of all people!” The impressive thing about a jant is the speed at which it is spat out. You are sure that professional rappers have nothing on the way Jin can spill out verses in a rage. He shoves a hand through his hair in distress and the ensuing messy look it generates is unfairly attractive- you think you see a middle-aged woman swoon in the hospital bed across from yours. Or faint. It’s hard to tell in a hospital. He continues screeching. “And then they’d PROBABLY make me MOVE BACK HOME as PUNISHMENT and there goes my social life! You could have ruined MY WHOLE LIFE, (Y/N)! What is wrong with you? Why do you always go making trouble like this?” It is those words, out of his whole rant, oddly enough, that causes you to stiffen. The implication that all you do is cause trouble. Which in a way you suppose you do. You cause your mother unnecessary worry- Jin is constantly sacrificing things to take care of you. Even your friends are constantly having to shout you meals due to your perpetual state of unemployment.

“I... couldn’t just leave it- they needed help, Jin.” You admit softly. Jin somehow hears your quiet admission over his furious jant and falls silent. He stares at you in confusion for a long moment, like he was expecting more of a fight, or some sort of annoying comeback. But the confusion is enough to subside his rage. The jant is over, with minimal damage. He drags over a chair and slumps by your bedside, once more running a hand through his hair. 

“You’re so reckless. Robber’s rarely pull stunts like that unarmed! You may have enhanced healing compared to a human, but you still die if someone stabs you! And this is your third ER trip this month!” He scolds and his tone is far gentler than before- not unlike how one might speak to a child, rather than someone a mere three years younger than him. You meekly bow your head, chastised. “How do you think auntie would feel if anything happened to you, (Y/N)? You may be a Guardian, but Guardians aren’t invincible. You, of all people, should know that.”

You flinch, feeling as though he’s slapped you. He’s clearly furious with you if he’s willing to choose such a sore spot to shame you. For the thirteen years you have been in the human realm, it has just been you and your mother. You have not been able to forget that fact for a single day. Every day you awaken afresh with the reminder that there is a third member to your family who should be there but is not. Your father’s life was lost as you all fled, and your mother had found herself widowed with a headstrong young child in a foreign and unfamiliar realm. Jin’s family have always been around to help because you haven’t exactly been an easy child to raise, but there are some burdens that no one can lift from a single parent.

 And you love your mother, and you really would do anything for your her. It’s just... you don’t want to pretend that you’re a human. For your entire time here, your guise as a human has felt like an itchy, poorly fitted jacket that you want to peel off and throw away. Humans are selfish and lazy and would leave a child on the side of the road and they’d been very quick to notice that you were different and target you for it- these are all things your father hated. To be human is to spit on the sacrifice he made for you... and yet to continue to fight it is also disregarding that he gave up his life to let you live in comfort. 

Jin, with his handsome face and ability to charm anyone he meets instantly, has never had an issue settling into the human realm, and so he’s never really understood why you cling so much to your former home realm. He knows that you’ve never truly stopped grieving the life of your father, but he cannot understand why you do not see the human world the way that he does. He had very much taken to being a human and enjoys all the perks that come with it- the technology, the fawning women, the interesting and unique cuisines... Jin adores human culture. And so, it irks him that you constantly seem to be sticking out like a sore thumb. 

“I’m sorry.” You say in a small voice and you’re so downcast that you miss the way that Jin’s face crumples with guilt. 

“Just... try to be safer in the future. This realm has its own law enforcement. We don’t need to be guardians here.” He tells you softly. Then he clears his throat awkwardly. “How was the job interview?”

It’s an act of mercy- he’s trying to save you any further misery by changing the subject. Unfortunately, you have yet to break the news to Jin; you bombed the interview. Massively. It’s not like it was even a job you were that invested in. Just a fulltime job that involved doing some admin in an office. The exact, safe, boring job your mother has dreamed of for you since coming here and the exact job Jin has been pushing you to apply for because he’s sick of his parents nagging him to lend you money or take you out for dinner or give you lifts because your car broke down and you can’t afford to fix it. But you messed it up and you hate yourself for it. Hate yourself for disappointing your mother, and, if you’re really honest with yourself, for disappointing Jin. You’re already so aware of how lowly he views you and this just makes it sting that little bit more.

But it is the exact kind of job that will slowly kill you inside. You are trying to kill the part of you deep down that longs for something more. You don’t even know what it is you want. But killing that part and settling into this world and its ways and its customs mean giving in. It means forgetting. And for thirteen entire years, you have not been able to forget. How can you, when you left a piece of yourself back there, on the battlefield where your father had lost his life for your sake? He was not even given the luxury of a grave and yet you are supposed to be comfortable and post pictures on Instagram about how happy you are and go to brunch and just enjoy life? You... you can’t do it.

“I... don’t know.” You finally say. You shrug and glance away. “It felt like it went well. We’ll see if they call me back.”

Jin visibly brightens, unaware of your lie. 

“I knew I had a good feeling about today!” He says warmly. “You’re totally going to get that job, I can feel it in my bones. Finally, my parents will get off my back!” He cheers. He probably means the last part as a joke but it’s just another sting; another reminder that Jin just sees you as a burden.

His celebration session is interrupted by an alert on his apple watch. He glances at whatever notification appear and winces. He glances at you like he’s done something wrong.

“I’ve got to go. I uh… I have a date.” He confesses. Jin is always tentative when he talks about the women he sees, like he’s anticipating some sort of reaction from you. You don’t know what reaction that would be, though, and you don’t think you’d ever feed his ego with any reaction other than a mild disgust and indifference. When you just continue to stare, he nods, more to himself than you. “I still have to sort all your paperwork to make sure you can get discharged so I probably can’t stay with you for your discharge. You don’t need a lift home, do you? I’ll probably have to drive straight there.”

Normally you would accept- though your broken bone heals faster than a human’s, it is still highly painful and inconvenient. But the thought of being in the car with Jin right now is highly unappealing. For some reason, lately when you spend time with Jin, you just feel more and more aware of how inadequate you are. You can’t help but notice the way people gravitate towards Jin. The way their eyes are constantly seeking him out or how a room brightens when he steps into it. And it’s not just his looks- it’s his everything. His demeanour, his smile, his success. He has taken to the human world like a fish to water and you just can’t. It’s not like you don’t want to. But his presence, his nagging, his constant disappointment with you… it’s a persistent, painful reminder of everything you can’t bring yourself to be. Not even for him, as much as you sincerely hate constantly disappointing him like this.

He adjusts his watch as you shake your head.

“I’ll just get the bus. I can still walk.” You say, plastering a smile on your face that hopefully seems sincere. Jin glares at you and reaches out to tap a finger against the firm plaster of your cast.

“Fine, but this stays on until tomorrow. I don’t care how fast you heal- I don’t want that leg healing crooked. Your mother will definitely notice if you suddenly have an extra bend in your shin. And no more chasing robbers- not even if it’s an old grandma with a cane being robbed. We stopped being Guardians for a reason.” He warns you. He adjusts his shirt cuffs and pulls out his phone to adjust his hair in the selfie camera before glaring at you. “I won’t tell Auntie about today because I don’t want her to worry. You can stay at mine tonight, so she doesn’t ask any questions when you hobble home in a cast.”

“Thanks.” You say and he’s oblivious to the bleak tone in your voice and the way your expression is downcast. If there’s one thing that has Jin oblivious to the rest of the world, it’s the prospect of a date. “Is the code to get in still the same?”

“I changed it to your birthday because that stupid pixie that always hangs around you worked out the code and keeps leaving my sugar open on the counter. I’m getting so many ants. I’m pretty sure he’s leaving it open for them.” Jin tells you already halfway turned around. You wisely choose not to tell Jin that you had told Jungkook the code to Jin’s apartment. Jin pauses before he can stride off. “Oh yeah. Auntie texted me- she wanted me to make sure you remember to come to dinner tomorrow and that you dress nicely. She has something important to say.”

“She could have just texted me herself.” You mumble, but Jin has already walked off, probably to sort the last of your paperwork before his date. A trail of sighing onlookers watch his departure. It just makes you scoff as you return to glaring at your cast. It itches.

You make a promise to yourself to use Jin’s kitchen scissors to remove it tomorrow so that he has at least some kind of inconvenience in his life. Nothing is more irritating than a blunt pair of kitchen scissors.

++++

Despite seeing Jin’s mother every other day, and renting the apartment directly across from her, your mother always acts like the president is coming over whenever Jin’s family comes for dinner. She pulls out the fancy glass bowls and the plates she bought with her first paycheck from the diner she was employed at when you were small. She vacuums the whole apartment and checks your room to make sure you’ve cleaned it in case Jin needs a bed to nap on after a long day at the hospital. 

She’s never quite managed to get the hang of human cuisine and since the human realm doesn’t hold the magic stores available to cook Guardian food the way that she learned, you are always the one to make dinner. You’ve never once complained because you know that on some level, this is your mother’s attempt to compensate. This is the closest you will ever get to having a community with other Guardians, and Jin’s dad is the closest thing you will ever have to a father. 

But even despite her usual frantic state whenever there’s a joint family dinner, she definitely seems more frazzled than usual. 

“Is it meant to smell like that?” She asks with a grimace, leaning in to look at the salad you’ve thrown some vinaigrette over. You glance over your shoulder from where you are checking on the food in the oven. 

“Yes, mum.” You say, standing and gently nudging her from the kitchen with a smile. “It’s vinaigrette- you liked it last time when I made it, remember? It’s why I made it tonight.” 

Your mother digs her heels into the ground before you can drive her from the kitchen and send her back to wiping the already sparkling cabinets in the living room. She turns to scrutinise you carefully. 

“Are you going to do your hair? It looks a little messy.” She frets. You raise an eyebrow. This is new. Your sweet, doting mother has never once criticised your appearance, not even when you went through that phase where you had an eyebrow piercing and dyed your hair neon green. Something is up. 

“It’s just Auntie and Uncle, right?” You say suspiciously. “They used to bathe me when we lived in magregnum, mum.” You say. Using the original term for your home realm feels foreign on your tongue and your mother’s expression shutters at the sound of her original home. 

“Well, a lot has changed since then.” She says softly. You’re about to question the strange, unfamiliar expression on your mother’s face. Something looks different about her... you squint when you recognise the shimmer of your favourite eye shadow on her lids. 

“Are you wearing makeup?” You question. Her eyes go wide, and you can’t help but notice that her lashes are curled. But her answer is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Your mother pales and instantly she switches back into her jittery, pre-dinner self. 

“Quickly, quickly!” She urges. “Dinner’s not ready yet!” 

You shake your head with a smile at your mother’s familiar antics. 

“It’s probably just Jin- Auntie and Uncle always make him come over earlier to help.” You call over your shoulder. You’re in a far better mood than you were yesterday, particularly after bending Jin’s kitchen scissors beyond repair during your attempts to remove the cast this morning before heading out and pretending you hadn’t been fired from your part-time job the week before. You had punched one of the senior managers for bullying the new hire. Your leg was mostly healed at that stage and Jin had told you that you could take the cast off before he left for work that morning. When you arrived back home in the afternoon, your mother had either chosen not to comment on your slight limp or had been too distracted by the stress of having dinner to notice. You are glad to have evaded her sad, disappointed eyes and the unwarranted comparisons to Jin for the day.  

After a long few moments of peace in the kitchen, you can’t help but notice the lack of an annoying presence hovering over your shoulder. Usually when Jin arrives, he makes a beeline straight for the kitchen so that he can sample whatever it is you’re making and proclaim it decent (and then try and sneak some extra portions later in the evening when he thinks you aren’t looking). The complete lack of Jin’s presence to do whatever the kitchen equivalent of back seat driving is has you pausing with a sense of unease. It is the first clue that something is up- the door opens and yet the older guardian doesn’t make an appearance. Confused, you pause midway through pouring out melted chocolate from a glass measuring cup and glance over your shoulder. 

“Minyo Dolkara,” is your mother’s tentative call and your eyes widen at the term of endearment. It is a common one back in your home realm, but your mother only uses it to comfort you when she feels you are truly upset. She is knotting her fingers anxiously together and beside her stands an unfamiliar middle-aged man. He smiles warmly at you, and your gaze lands on the arm he holds carefully around your mother’s shoulder. Your grip tightens around the handle of the measuring cup. 

“Mum?” You ask, your tone laced with confusion. “Who’s this?”

Your mother swallows nervously and glances at the man in question. 

“This is... my love.” She confesses. “Nigel. We met at my night classes and I... He...”

“I’m her fiancé.” The man, Nigel corrects. He is a friendly, round sort of man. The kind of man often seen on tv playing father to a rebellious teenage daughter in a sitcom. And his smile is warm and excited, like he’s happy to meet you. He directs that smile to your mother, and rather than look disgusted or uncomfortable, she merely beams back at him.

That’s probably what this night was for, in hindsight. And why your mother was so nervous. She planned this to introduce her new boyfriend... no, her new fiancé to you, and to Jin’s family. Dimly, in the back of your mind, you register all the unusual signs about tonight. The way she’d messaged Jin to make sure you were at the dinner despite the fact that she’s never been able to bring herself to make you do anything you don’t want to.... the way she’s been commenting on your appearance despite it never having bothered her before... how long has she kept this from you? How... how could she be seeing another man?

No words form in your mouth- instead, the face of your father hovers in your mind. After thirteen years, you can’t fully recall what he looks like and you weren’t able to bring any pictures over to the human realm with you. It has been long enough that you cannot recall his face or his voice. So, in theory, why can’t your mother meet someone new? Did you expect her to live as a widow until she died, alone and far from the home realm she grew up in? Of course, you didn’t. But for some reason, this man’s presence right now leaves a bitter sting like she’s plunged a knife into your chest.

The smile drops from Nigel’s face after a few moments of you staring blankly and his smile is replaced with concern. It takes you a while to understand it is because you have crushed the hand of the measuring cup in your tight grip. It falls to the ground and shatters, followed by a few drops of blood as red rapidly spreads over your clenched fist and lands on the ground. You haven’t used your enhanced strength in so long you almost forgot you had it. 

“Fiancé?” You echo at last and though it is your own voice, it sounds distant. Like your ears are suddenly submerged under water. You don’t know what hurts you more in that moment- the painful reminder that the world is moving on without your father... or the fact that your mum has kept such a huge secret from you for who knows how long, probably because she was scared of how you’d react. “You’re engaged?”

“(Y/N),” your mother says, taking a step forward, perhaps to comfort you. She does it tentatively, like you are a beast she needs to placate. The people in your life- at least the ones who know your true identity- often approach you like that. Slowly and hesitantly, as if they don’t know how you will react. Like you are a ticking time bomb, ready to go off and cause trouble. Which in a way, you suppose you are. Things have always been difficult with you, after all. You never settled into human schooling well and you didn’t get into a good university like Jin, and you’re always getting yourself into trouble trying to help random people off the street. And your mother, your poor placating mother, is prepared to do the same thing she always does. Apologise that you had to leave your home, that the new human world isn’t to your liking, but gently remind you that it is, in fact, your real home now.  

But you do not give her the chance to feed you the same tired lines. You’re so sick of hearing this lecture. Every time you wind up in hospital because you’ve interfered with a fight or been hit by a car trying to save a random puppy, Jin gives you the same, frustrated lecture. When you fail another interview or get fired from a new job, your mother is there to try and fail to hide her disappointment that you aren’t leading the life she’d planned for you. But not this time- this is too far. You’ve been trying to squash the part of you that is a guardian for their sake for so long now, but you cannot do it for him. For this man, this stranger, who has waltzed into your home like he owns it and announced that he’s marrying your mother. As if he has a right to just join your family. You are out the door before she or Nigel can offer a word of explanation. 

You don’t see Jin until you crash into him. He steadies you with a hand planted on either shoulder. You glance up at his face, barely registering what he looks like through the blur of tears spilling forward. For a brief moment, the sight of Jin’s face (even blurred) and the familiar set of his broad shoulders fills you with relief. Even if Jin’s always viewed you as a bit of pain, he’s always been an important person to you, always ready to provide support. But then you see the look on his face.

Jin actually winces when he sees your expression. Perhaps he is realising it’s going to be one of those nights, where he sits up on the roof with you for hours and comforts you as you spill your guts. That’s how it’s always been, after all, ever since you were a small child and would run to him when you scraped your knee instead of your own parents. You would cry and he would offer some wise words mixed in with a stern reprimand and then his parents would congratulate him for being such a good influence on you. Even when you hit high school and started to realise for the first time that Jin didn’t view you with the same adoration you viewed him, he never stopped being that person for you. The shoulder to cry on, the rock to lean on. But now, he stiffens, as if steeling himself for the explanation behind your tears and he probably already has a speech half prepared in his mind. That’s the job he delegated himself, after all. To look after you, for as long as you are alive and giving him headaches. So, if it’s always been his job to do just that, why does he look like he’s just been asked to help clean a public bathroom at the sight of you in distress? 

He... he doesn’t want to deal with you. That’s why he looks so uncomfortable. 

You feel something inside you crumple. You can’t identify what feeling it is but, in that moment, you realise something. Everyone in your life... they all view you as a burden. Your mum had delayed telling you about her boyfriend until the last possible moment because your response would be difficult to handle. Jin’s parents see you as a hopeless child that their perfect son must look after. And Jin.... well you can see from the look on his face how he views you. It reminds you of a dark day, all those years ago in high school, a memory you thought you’d pushed down, and it surfaces now, before you can push it back down like you normally do. But then you set your shoulders- you were over the things Jin had said that day, and you aren’t going to allow the way that he looks right now to be the thing that resurfaces those feelings.

You shove past him. Over the past few months, you’ve been avoiding Jin more and more as your self-esteem plummeted lower and lower but today something tips over the edge for you. You don’t know how or why it happened but at some point, Jin has stopped being the person you can turn to when things get rough. And you have just realised that he no longer wants to be that person either, which hurts far more than you ever thought it could. 

“(Y/N)!” You hear him call out to you, probably shocked that you aren’t caving immediately and telling him what’s wrong- after all, there’s probably only been one time in your life before this that you’ve done so. You ignore his call though, making a beeline for the staircase, and he does not follow you. 

The place you usually go to when misery strikes is the rooftop of your crappy apartment building. You’ve spent countless hours up on the rooftop, watching the sky. It’s oddly therapeutic- the thing you used to miss most when first moving to this realm was the stars. Back home, they sparkle different colours like precious stones scattered across black velvet. Here, the smog of humans blocks their stars from the sky. But the brightest stars are somewhat visible on clear nights and they are the closest reminder you have of home. That’s probably why you have chosen the roof as your refuge. Since beginning to take refuge here when things go bad, you’ve accumulated a small collection of old furniture from whenever your mum goes on a redecorating spree. 

What has resulted is a comfy little corner of the world you can call your own, away from everyone else. No one else seems to use this place, even if the rooftop is accessible to everyone in the complex, but that suits you just fine. It’s perfect for curling up and wallowing, much like you are desperate to do right now. There are a lot of confusing, painful emotions swirling around inside you, ones that you aren’t really sure how to deal with or process. 

You slump down against the old picnic blanket you have stretched across the floor and let your head collapse against an old cushion your mum threw out years ago and peer up at the sky. Wincing, you idly pick out pieces of glass from your hand and watch the skin seal over almost immediately as you wonder if the sky really as beautiful back home as your memory tells you it was. Or, do you just want to believe things were better in the other realm? You’re not really sure but it really would be nice to go back. Not forever- as much as you hate to admit it, your family is here now, which makes this realm your home. But you want to see the place you came from. You want to see the stars and the valleys and the rivers. The night before you and your mother fled, your father had told you that everything about Magregnum would change by the time you were old enough to go back, except the landscape. Mountains cannot move, after all. A part of you longs desperately for that- to see the things that will not change and the landscapes that could not leave your father behind. The only reminders that you aren’t just a random human washed up in the bleakness of life, but a guardian. Something special and precious. Something better than what you feel like you are.

An annoying buzzing in your ear breaks the bubble of your pondering. You blink a few times and then sigh, turning your head to the side. A small figure, no taller that the height of your handspan, stands beside you with his arms folded. Small, insect like wings flap so rapidly they are little more than flashes, catching the light of the fairy lights you’d strung across the fencing of the rooftop a few weeks ago. The figure tilts his small head to the side and at this proximity you can see the way he frowns. He always has the oddest tendency to pop up whenever you are alone and miserable and likely he is displeased to find you in such a state yet again.

“Do you ever do anything other than sulk?” The creature asks. He is a pixie, as you know from your first interaction where he had very indignantly informed you that no, he is not a cross between a mosquito and a human in-between your attempts to squash him with a fly swatter. You grimace. 

“No.” You snap, rolling onto your side to face away. Alas, the small pixie merely lifts easily into the air and sails over your face like he’s an Olympian performing high jump. He lands neatly in front of you once more and grins. 

“What happened this time?” He asks, settling down into the picnic blanket cross legged. He plants an elbow on either knee and rests his chin in his hands. The buzzing of his wings slows to a gentle flap, which allows you to discern the thin, silvery veins that lace across the delicate membranes of his wings. You’ve always secretly thought it a shame that Jungkook is just a pixie, given his handsome face and charming nature, but being a human would mean the loss of his gorgeous wings. “Did Jin ground you again?”

“He’s never grounded me before.” You snap defensively. “And even if he did, it’s not like I would listen to him. He’s not my parent.”

Jungkook shrugs, leaning back to press his weight into his hands and stretching his legs out in front of him. 

“Yes, you would.” He points out. “You always complain about Jin, but I know you always do what he says.” 

You purse your lips and sit up. Jin is one of the last people you want to talk about right now. Jungkook stands up too, launching himself into the air so that he can settle on your knee. 

“So what did Jin do this time? Change the code to his apartment again? Find out about your motorbike? Treat you to dinner?” Jungkook questions eagerly. You’ve never seen the pixie interact with another living being other than you, Jin or Taehyung (and on occasion your mother) and he had sadly informed you that he was the only one of his kind in this realm when you first met thirteen years ago. So, you have a theory that he lives out his need for drama and gossip and social interaction vicariously through you. It’s the only way to explain his constant interest in your life and the things that are making you sad. 

“It wasn’t Jin.” You finally admit, lifting your gaze once more to the sky above. “Why are you even here anyway? Did you run out of YouTube dance covers to copy?”

Jungkook nods and settles down beside you. “It’s all pointless after a while.” He says forlornly. “It’s not like humans can see me. Only guardians will ever see me dance and they don’t care. I figured I might as well talk to one sentient being before I go crazy. The moths just aren’t great conversation partners these days.” He pauses. “So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

Jungkook’s confession has your resolve crumbling. Sometimes it is easy to forget that you, Jin and Taehyung are the only people Jungkook can mix with, as a pixie in a human world. Even if humans could see him, the government would probably deport him back to the other realm the second it found out he was threatening exposure of magical beings to humans. A strange sadness on his behalf overcomes you and that is the thing that makes you willing to confess what’s bothering you. “It was... my mother.”

Jungkook is silent and when you glance down at where he is seated upon your knee, he is also gazing in wonder at the sky above. He doesn’t press further but you still somehow feel compelled to share. 

“She’s engaged.” You admit and the words feel oddly piercing amongst the soft hum of city traffic. They hang in the cool night air and suddenly the warmth of the night seems stifling rather than comfortable. 

“I thought the Q’uvar were happy when that sort of thing happened? Don’t you all have those huge festivities in your village whenever a marriage ceremony happens?” Jungkook questions. The natural way the original term for your people rolls off his tongue testifies to his origin- despite him living in the human realm, there is no doubt he comes from Magregnum, just as you do. Even when you were living in the other realm, your people would refer to themselves as guardians. Only the really old-fashioned members of your race would use the language that had slowly died out over the years as the common tongue became the norm. Not for the first time, you are curious about Jungkook and where he popped up from. Jungkook turns to look at you and tilts his tiny head. His inky black hair flops to one side with the motion. “Shouldn’t you be happy that your mother is engaged?”

The unintentional reprimand slaps you across the face and you wince. In theory, you should be thrilled that after so much difficulty and hardship settling into this realm, your mother has found a source of happiness. She has worked so hard on your behalf to make sure you grow up safe and secure in this foreign realm and so the least you can do to repay her is to be happy when she is happy. But the niggling fear that always chases you holds you back. It’s a fear of change- of the way life seems to move too fast for you to catch up. Here you are, stuck in the past when even your own mother has managed to move on and build a life for herself. 

“I should be.” You answer softly. You lift your knees and hug them close to your chest- Jungkook falls off with an indignant squawk. Moments later he rises in the air until he is eye level with you- even the buzz of his wings seems irritated. 

“Well then, why aren’t you?” He asks, but the tone of his voice implies that his patience has been lost with you. Since the moment of meeting you all those years ago, Jungkook had assigned himself as a sort of pseudo-counsellor and confidante, but it does not mean he enjoys the position. No, more often than not, he is annoyed and puzzled by your seemingly trivial problems. You kind of enjoy such an attitude though- it makes the things that feel insurmountable to you become small and insignificant. Jungkook makes you feel like problems can be overcome. This time, however, his dismissive attitude has you feeling worse. 

“Because I’m homesick.” You admit miserably. “Why does everyone seem to settle in here so well? Why am I the only one struggling? Why could everyone leave things behind so easily? How can they just pretend that they’re humans, and completely ignore the fact that they are Guardians?”

You press the palms of your hands against your eyes and release a long exhale. No one has followed you up here, after you rushed out like that. Who even knows what state your mother’s dinner is in? Hopefully she remembered to get everything out of the oven. Are they having fun without you? Is Nigel charming them, winning them over, getting them excited about the possibility of a wedding? Are they… are they really happy, in this realm? “Do you ever think about going back?” You question, after a long moment of silence. You drop your hands from your eyes.

“Sometimes.” Jungkook admits. “I wonder what it looks like now. Taehyung says it’s largely the same, it’s just the cultures and people that change.” 

You stare out across the ugly concrete buildings that the rooftop view provides you. In this realm, everything moves fast and changes quickly. In the blink of an eye, a new building can pop up down the road or an entire family can move away from their twenty-year-old restaurant and close it without any warning. Back home, you remember things being steady and unchanging. Every morning, you would rise to the same mountain ranges, to the same fringe of forest, to the same river song. The only guardian you know who has gone back is Taehyung, and he validates that impression- forests and mountains do not change. 

“I wish I had half Taehyung’s courage. I want to go back.” You confess.

Jungkook hugs his knees into his chest and mirrors your position beside you. 

“What would it achieve?” Jungkook asks curiously. You shrug, picking idly at a stray thread on your jeans. 

“Hopefully something.” You say. “I feel like I’ll never know what could happen if I don’t take the risk. I just… I feel like it’s calling me. It doesn’t want me to forget what I am. This realm doesn’t suit me because this isn’t my realm. Maybe I’ll find a place that fits over there.”

Jungkook nods sagely. A moth flaps past him and he smiles at it as it goes past.

“And what would you do once you’re there?” He questions. It does not take you long to give an answer. You’ve had this adventure mapped out in your mind since you were a miserable, homesick eleven-year-old.

“My dad used to have this phrase. “The river loves those who take the plunge.”. He’d always say it in the old tongue, and apparently it was an old guardian phrase that meant sometimes taking the risk was worth it. But apparently the phrase comes from a river to the east of our home. Dad said that the river is home to a special migrating plant, and it lights up and looks like shooting stars. They call it ‘the dancing river’. He promised to take me there, one day when the war was over.” You explain. “If rivers and mountains don’t change… then that’s that last piece of him I can find in that realm.”

“And that’s what you want to see, if you go back?” Jungkook asks. You nod and shift your position to the side of some old drawers you had rescued from your mother’s bedroom. Inside are a bunch of wrinkled old papers that you pull out and show him. 

“Taehyung always brings me back a map whenever he gets back from over there to show me how things have changed. Look.” You point at a small blue line that trickles across the painted landscape of the map. The label is written in the common tongue. “River of stars” it says in sleek cursive. You know from matching it up with an older map that the name has changed but it’s the same river your father told you about. “It’s only a five-day hike from the portal.” You point at a small mark on the map- this has Taehyung’s writing scribbled on it, marking the join between the human realm and the magical one. “I could go and just... get it out of my system. See the river. Like a road trip but in another realm.” 

Jungkook flutters over to peer at the small distance between the river in question and the portal on the map. 

“I just have to go once. Just once. And see it- see the places he loved. And then I’ll settle into this realm and get the boring job Jin and my mother want me to have and marry an equally boring human. I’ll go to her wedding and watch her pretend like my dad never existed and like I’m not a Guardian.” You tell him. “I... we didn’t even get to say good-bye, Jungkook.” 

Your voice cracks and Jungkook glances up at you in surprise. You rarely open up about your father to the pixie but he’s always curious when you do, like you’re sharing the story of an ancient war hero. Which in a way, he is. Though the war is fresh and recent in your mind, over a thousand years have passed back home, since your people roamed freely there.

“We just got word that he was dead, and we had to go, or we would be too.” You tell him, recalling the way Jin’s father had woken you two up in the middle of the night, pale as a ghost and drenched in your father’s blood. You remember running a lot that night and clinging to your mother’s hand. You had tripped and scraped your knee and you hadn’t been able to cry. And when you reached the human realm, your mother had shed a single tear and then shouldered on into your new life. No time or space to grieve. Not when there was so much uncertainty ahead. “No funeral or anything. I just... I want proof, that he was alive. I want to see the places he saw and just... I want to get a chance to say goodbye. I never even got to tell him that I love him one last time.”

Jungkook holds a hand to his chin as he ponders your words and then he looks at you. Though he is small, you can make out the dark colour of his eyes. His expression is soft and gentle. It reminds you of the look Jin used to give you when you’d come up here because the kids had made a mean comment about you not understanding their weird meme jokes or you were sad because you’d seen a kid hanging out with his father. Back before Jin had lost his patience with you, when he just got that the reason you couldn’t settle in was because of the cost it took to get to this realm safely. 

“You know it wouldn’t bring him back, right?” Jungkook asks softly. “Everything you knew about that realm faded thousands of years ago. You won’t find home there anymore than it is here. And it won’t stop your mother from getting married.”

“I know.” You answer forlornly. “But maybe things will be better if I just get to… acknowledge what I am. Even if it’s only for five days.” Jungkook stares for a long moment and then nods, his shoulders set with sudden determination. 

“Then let’s go.” He announces. You blink in surprise at his proposition. 

“Go?” You echo. He nods and straightens, planting on hand on his hip and pointing the other directly at you. 

“I am the first person to point out that you’re spoiled and selfish.” Jungkook reminds you, which has you wincing. “You don’t even know how lucky you are, to have so many people who love you. Do you know what I would give to be human? To have a friends and family like you do? And every day you spit on it. If this is what it takes for you to finally be content, then do it.” 

You frown and look away from him. 

“I don’t want to go when you put it like that.” You say, resenting the slight way your voice wobbles with hurt. You feel the slight tickle to your cheek and find Jungkook has pressed his tiny hand comfortingly to the side of your face. 

“Don’t be hurt.” He says softly. “I do know why you’re struggling.” He offers you as comfort. “And I do understand why it’s so hard. To live amongst humans every day and pretend like none of the terrible things that went down over there really happened. But in focusing on the things you’re missing, you’re missing out on the things you have.” He explains. “So, let’s go, (Y/N). Let’s go see the Dancing River and find the peace you’re looking for.”

You stare at Jungkook for a long time, before offering the slightest nod. He’s right. What’s the use of waiting and hoping and holding out for something? Why not just go and find out if seeing this river will solve any of your problems? The river loves those who take the plunge, after all.

“Let’s go, Jungkook.” You agree, with the faint hint of a smile on your face.

What you don’t see, as you converse with Jungkook, is Jin slowly closing the door to the rooftop, first aid kit in hand. He gives one last glance at the doorway, wondering if he should join you and Jungkook before shaking his head with a sigh. He turns around and makes the slow trek back downstairs with a troubled expression on his face.

[css1992]

Damn, love your starker content. If you're looking for a prompt or something, I have one I think would be great for this pairing: TeenAU starker where Peter has braces and wants to give Tony a blowjob, even tho he's never done it before. Cue braces getting stuck followed by an embarrassing hospital trip or getting caught by someone. Tx for top tier starker.

First of all, I’m so sorry this took so long, I was having that worst writer’s block, I hope you can forgive me and I hope you’re still out there to read this! T.T Second of all, thank you so much for your kind words, sweetie, you’re too nice

High school AU, explicit, 18+

Word count: 5.7k

Summary: And even though he knew how he felt in his heart, he wasn’t quite ready to say it out loud, wasn’t ready to put it in so many words. He worried it was too soon, maybe Tony would freak out and leave, but still, he wanted to take a step further in their relationship, he wanted to show Tony how much he appreciated him. So he came up with a plan and it involved, well, his mouth. But he’d hesitated for too long and now he had freaking braces and he couldn’t help feeling a little insecure about them.

Warnings: mentions of bullying, mild violence (not explicit), anal fingering, oral sex, brief mention of blood. If you find anything triggering, please let me know!

-x-

“Come on, babe, there’s no way I’m not gonna like it, you’re beautiful, you couldn’t look bad if you tried.” Tony tried to pry Peter’s hands away from his mouth, but the younger teen held them tighter against his face, shaking his head firmly. “Please, for me? Just let me see it, you can’t hide forever, right? Get it over with.” Peter frowned, but then sighed, thinking to himself that Tony was right, there was no way he could hide it much longer anyway. Better rip that band-aid off. He took a deep breath, let his arms fall to his sides and smiled tentatively at his boyfriend. Tony held his face in his hands, thumbs stroking his cheekbones softly as he admired the metal wires and brackets on Peter’s teeth and that must have been the most embarrassing moment of his life. “You look so cute right now, you know that, right? I could eat you right up.”

“You mean it?” Peter whispered quietly, afraid that Tony would notice that he sounded funny, too, not yet used to how the braces sat against the roof of his mouth.

“Of course, munchkin.” He pulled Peter close and placed a sweet, warm kiss on his lips and it made the butterflies in his stomach go wild, but it quieted his nervous heart. He pulled away and smiled a little wider, if Tony said it was cute, then maybe –

“What’s wrong with your face, Penis? Looks like you had a fight with a cheese grater and lost.” Of course Flash wouldn’t leave it alone, Peter should have known. He closed his lips tightly and shrank against his locker, dropping his gaze to the floor, only to hear and feel Tony moving away from him and towards Flash.

“Wanna say that again, you little fucker? Come on, I fucking dare you, I’m gonna show you what’s wrong with your face, I’ll break your fucking teeth and no braces will be able to fix your ugly mug ever again, you fucking piece of shit.“ The boy kept pushing at Flash’s chest until he was cowering against the opposite wall and Peter jumped into action, pulling Tony’s arm just as other students started gathering around them in the hall, curious to see what the commotion was all about. Tony had already been suspended for punching Flash in the face not three weeks earlier, Peter couldn’t let him get in trouble again, he knew Tony’s father was… a complicated man.

“Tony, it’s ok, it’s fine, come on, leave it alone.” After a lot of pulling, he was finally able to get his boyfriend off Flash’s face. He didn’t waste any time and scurried away, yelling something over his shoulder that Peter couldn’t quite make out. Tony was fuming, face red, hands closed into fists. The younger teen peppered small kisses on his cheeks and lips to try and calm him down some, and finally the boy seemed to come back to himself. “It’s ok, I’m ok.”

“It’s really not, Pete, that asshole can’t talk to you like that, I swear to God, I’m gonna –“

“Forget about him, come on, he’s gone.” He stole a quick kiss from the older boy, who sighed heavily, burying his hands in Peter’s curls to pull him closer, deepening the kiss.

Peter still shivered and blushed at Tony’s eagerness and boldness. It was all pretty new to him, he’d never had a boyfriend before, just a few short flings. Tony, on the other hand, was – to put it mildly – very experienced. He’d dated pretty much all of the cheerleaders and a few guys on the football team. It was weird for Peter, kissing him in the halls, having Tony walk him to and from classes, sitting at the “cool table” in the cafeteria, having people that he’d never met in his whole entire life gossiping about him.  

Peter had heard so many stories about Tony before they got together that when he asked him out, almost four months earlier, he was sure it had to be a prank. There was just no way the Tony Stark could actually be interested in him, so, naturally, he said no. The older boy had looked so confused and shocked as he took a few steps away from Peter, all that famous confidence and cockiness completely gone.

“Oh,” he whispered, sticking his hands in his pockets, looking around the empty classroom he’d pulled Peter into. “I just – I mean, are you seeing someone else?”

“What?” Peter blushed, heart racing and palms sweating. He was so nervous, Tony was known for being a bit of a hothead, he always got into trouble for losing his shit and starting fights, Peter wasn’t sure if maybe he’d get angry because his prank didn’t work. “It’s not – I’m not seeing anyone, I just – I’m –” He stammered, not fully able to complete his sentences. To his surprise, the older boy didn’t get angry, he just ran a hand through his thick, dark hair and smiled in defeat.

“Is it because I got suspended last week? I swear, it wasn’t my fault, that asshole was bullying my friend. Bruce! You know him, right? He’s in the Decathlon team with you, ask him!” His eyes were wide, like maybe he’d found the reason why Peter said no, but then he quickly deflated. “Unless you just don’t wanna go out with me, which is fine, I mean, you don’t have to like me, I just thought – well, doesn’t matter.”

“Look, I know this is a prank.” Peter frowned, and Tony’s eyebrows shot into his hairline.

“Excuse me?” The older boy looked at him like he’d grown a second head, and Peter thought maybe he’d pissed him off for good. “What, you think I’m some mean girl in a teen movie or something?”

“I just – why would you even ask me out, honestly? You don’t even know me and you’re always making fun of the Decathlon team and the school band – both of which I’m a part of, in case you don’t know.” Peter had noticed Tony was always at the Decathlon competitions and band practice, and he was always laughing and whispering with his friends, and Peter could swear that he sometimes caught him looking directly at him before whispering something to James Rhodes.  

“Ok, first of all, I don’t make fun of the team or the band, I just make fun of Bruce, but that’s because he’s my best friend and we like to mess with each other, I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry. And yeah, I don’t really know you, but I’d like to, that’s exactly why I’m asking you out. You’re smart, talented, and it doesn’t hurt that you’re easy on the eyes, to be honest.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders. Peter felt his face burning and dropped his gaze to the floor. “There’s no evil plan, I just think you’re cute, is all.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth? That you’re not messing with me?” He whispered, looking at him from under his eyelashes and, again, the older teen just shrugged.

“I guess you’ll just have to trust me, shortcake.”

And Peter did. For whatever stupid reason, he did. He didn’t really know Tony, just knew about him – knew that he was a certified genius, but also a troublemaker. He knew he was filthy rich, but he didn’t hang out with other rich kids, like Flash and Osborn, he was best friends with Rhodes, Pepper and Bruce, who, like Peter, didn’t come from money. He knew he was really popular and he dated around a lot, but he wasn’t an asshole about it – not that Peter knew, at least. He didn’t kiss and tell, he never slut-shamed anyone or leaked nudes of his exes, which was more than Peter could say about most guys in school.

So he gave it a shot, said yes and they went out for burgers. Tony was nice, funny and smart – but he was also sarcastic, short-tempered and a little arrogant. Peter wasn’t really sure how he felt about him after the date was over, but when he went to bed that night, he couldn’t stop thinking about him,  about his lips – couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss he’d dodged in his car when he dropped him home. Still, the older boy had smiled and kissed his cheek instead.

The next day, Peter was standing by his locker in between classes, talking to Ned and MJ about the movie marathon they were planning for the weekend, when he noticed the older boy approaching. Peter wasn’t sure if Tony would talk to him in front of the whole school, he had a reputation to keep and Peter was kind of a nerd, but not only did he talk to him, he also kissed his cheek as he greeted him, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Hey, I’m Tony,” he introduced himself to a very flustered Ned and an unimpressed and suspicious-looking MJ. The former just waved dumbly and made a weird sound at the back of his throat and the latter just nodded at him, acknowledging his presence. Tony didn’t seem to mind the weird interaction, just turned back to Peter and smiled. “Wanna grab lunch together today?”

And that was probably the very moment Peter started falling for him. Slowly, but surely. He insisted on carrying his books, walking him to class, sitting with him at lunch, he even drove him home most days, even though his house was nowhere near Queens. He was a bit of a hothead, yes, and he sure as hell was trouble – and May could smell it from a mile away when Peter introduced him – but he was also the kindest, sweetest, most amazing person Peter had ever met and he wished Tony would let other people see that.  

Peter loved him. At least he thought he did, he’d never been in love before, but he missed Tony like crazy whenever they were apart for more than five seconds; he cared if he ate properly and regularly; he worried about his health and safety all the time; he always thought about him whenever he watched rom-coms with May on movie nights; his heart fluttered whenever he was around and, more importantly, he just wanted to be with him, take care of him. All the time. If that wasn’t love, what else could it be?

And even though he knew how he felt in his heart, he wasn’t quite ready to say it out loud, wasn’t ready to put it in so many words. He worried it was too soon, maybe Tony would freak out and leave, but still, he wanted to take a step further in their relationship, he wanted to show Tony how much he appreciated him. So he came up with a plan and it involved, well, his mouth. But he’d hesitated for too long and now he had freaking braces and he couldn’t help feeling a little insecure about them.

But then Tony looked at him with those beautiful, soft brown eyes, smiled at him and stroked his cheek with such devotion, and all his insecurities melted away and he just wanted Tony to know how much he loved him.

“Hey, about this Friday,” he started, pulling away from the kiss. He was still self-conscious about how he sounded because of the braces, but Tony didn’t seem to notice anything different, at least he didn’t mention it.  

“What about it, short stuff?” He smiled sweetly, wrapping his arms around Peter’s waist, pulling him closer. He placed small kisses on his jaw and chin and the younger teen giggled, pushing him away without any force. Peter always refrained from pointing out that Tony was only a few inches taller than him – the older teen seemed so happy he found someone shorter than him to mess with,  Peter let him have his fun.

“So, you know how my aunt is dating this guy from work?” Tony frowned, a little confused, but Peter just kept looking at him expectantly.

“Yeah?”

“She told me yesterday that she’s going to spend the night at his place on Friday.” He tried to give his boyfriend a sexy smile, but then remembered that the braces would probably make it look silly, so he closed his lips quickly. Still, Tony looked very excited and interested when he realized what Peter meant.

“Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow, a lopsided grin of his own taking over his face.

“Yeah, so I thought – maybe we could order some pizza and you could, uhm, spend the night?” He dropped his gaze to somewhere around Tony’s chest, brushing off imaginary dust from his shirt, as his face grew hot, when he felt the older teen’s finger under his chin, forcing him to look up at him.  

“Pete… Are you sure?” He asked him firmly, serious, looking for a truthful answer, and Peter nodded.

“Just – uh, I’m not sure if I’m ready to go… all the way,” he whispered quietly, “but like – you know.” He blushed bright red, but Tony didn’t let him avert his gaze. He smiled and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

“It’s okay, we don’t have to do anything. I’m actually a great cuddler, did you know that?”

“Silly.” Peter laughed, slapping him on the chest, feeling a little less nervous. “So, is that a yes?”

“That’s a hell yes, baby face.”  

For the rest of the week, Peter couldn’t think of anything else. MJ stopped listening to him by Wednesday and just rolled her eyes whenever Peter mentioned anything Friday-related, but Ned was just as invested on the date as Peter was. He helped him pick an outfit, the perfect movie and even the pizza place they’d order from. He went as far as to send him articles about how to give good blowjobs and handjobs and Peter had to draw the line there – although he did read the articles and made some research of his own.

So on Friday, Peter waved May off, promised to be good – which she didn’t believe much – and hurried to make sure everything was perfect. His bed was made, his sheets were freshly clean and smelled like fabric softener, and there were so many pillows on the couch he wasn’t sure where they were supposed to sit, but oh, well.

He dressed casual, but Ned said he looked hot when he tried the outfit on earlier that week. He hoped he did. He wore gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt that was a little tight over his chest – he didn’t have a broad, strong chest, but it looked ok. He fluffed his hair – Tony loved his curls – and tried not to give a lot of thought to the braces in his mouth, he still wasn’t comfortable with how he looked with them, but Tony always made sure to let him know he thought he still looked beautiful, so. There was that.

So when the bell rang, he took a deep breath, gave himself a little pep talk and opened the door. Tony was leaning against the doorway, looking sinfully sexy in black, ripped jeans and a leather jacket. He smiled at Peter and pulled him in for a kiss, and if the younger teen was already breathless just from looking at his boyfriend, that kiss almost sent him over.

“Hey, peanut. You look gorgeous.” He gave him a once over, as he put some distance between them, and Peter blushed slightly, slapping his chest.

“Come on in.” He opened the door further and Tony stepped inside, quickly getting rid of his jacket  and shoes, probably remembering that last time he was there aunt May almost bit his head off when he tried to walk into her living room in his combat boots.

“So, your aunt isn’t home?” He wondered out loud, taking a look around the apartment as if expecting aunt May to just jump from behind the furniture or something. It was funny, Tony was always on edge when she was around, trying to be a good boy, but she saw right through him.

“No, don’t worry, the coast is clear.” The younger teen smiled, sitting on the couch. The older boy quickly followed with a wicked grin, sitting close beside him, placing an arm around his shoulders. Peter chewed his lips and turned on the TV, feeling his heart race in anticipation. “Do you want to pick the movie?”

“No, I’m fine with whatever you wanna watch.” Tony kissed the ball of his shoulder, slowly peppering kisses along his collarbone. Peter’s breath hitched and he knew the blush was surely going all the all way from his cheeks down to his chest.

“Uhm, are you hungry yet? I thought we could order some pizza.” He turned slightly to the side, noticing that Tony didn’t seem very interested in anything else besides ravishing the skin of his neck. “Tony,” he sighed.

“Is this okay?” He whispered, moving away a little to look Peter in the eye. The younger teen turned to look back at him, nodding slowly.

Tony smiled and closed the distance between them, pulling him by the neck to kiss him deeply, slowly. Time stopped right then and there, the room was silent, the sound of their lips moving together the only thing he could hear, the burning touch of Tony’s hands on his skin the only thing he could feel.

Funny thing was, no matter how nervous he’d been up until that moment, the second their lips touched, he felt safe, wanted, loved. He knew Tony wouldn’t do anything he wasn’t comfortable with, so he let himself go, melting into his arms like like it was the safest place in the world.

He felt the older teen wrap his arms around his waist, pulling him softly, and gave in, climbing into his lap to straddle his thighs. Tony grunted when he felt Peter’s ass press down onto his jeans-clad erection and bucked his hips up, hands sliding from his waist to his lower back to pull him even closer. Peter’s heated skin shivered as their chests touched and Tony bit his lower lip, before pulling him into a messy, wet kiss. The younger boy rocked his hips eagerly, whimpering against Tony’s bitten lips as he felt his own rock-hard cock rubbing against the older teen’s taut stomach, eyes rolling back in pleasure.

Tony’s fingers ventured under his shirt, short nails scratching across the skin of his arched back, before lifting it slowly, as if asking for permission. It wouldn’t be a first, they hadn’t done much, but they’d had a few heavy make out sessions that usually ended with both of them shirtless – but not much more than that. Peter just raised his arms and let Tony take his shirt off, baring his chest, then went right back to kissing his neck, as the older teen moaned and rutted against his ass, his cock was so hard Peter could swear he could feel it pressing against his hole, begging for entrance, even through the many layers of clothing.

“Are you doing okay there, Pete?” Tony breathed into his mouth and the other boy shivered and nodded quickly, biting Tony’s chin and burying his fingers in his hair. The older teen’s teeth and tongue slowly made their way down his throat and towards his collarbone as Peter threw his head back, closing his eyes to concentrate on the feeling of his fingers squeezing the soft flesh where his hips met his ass. “I wanna try something. You trust me?” He placed soft kisses on his chest, then his tongue found one of Peter’s perked-up, sensitive nipples and he gasped, nodding frantically. “Good.”

His hands slid lower to Peter’s ass and he squeezed roughly, kneading his cheeks as he mouthed at his nipples, alternating sloppy, wet kisses with sharp, gentle nibbles, which drove the younger teen mad with want and turned the small nubs an angry red. It almost distracted him from the fact the Tony’s hands were now making their way down the back of his pants and underwear, skin to skin, the rough pads of Tony’s fingers scratching his soft flesh.

Okay, that’s new, Peter thought, and he liked it. He closed his eyes and bit his lower lip, as Tony sucked bruises on his collarbones, his fingers slowly making their way to Peter’s crack, until one of them pressed directly against his rim, touching it, but nothing else, and his breath hitched. He pulled away a little, looking down at the other teen’s face.

“Tony, I’m – I don’t think I’m –“

“Don’t worry, it’s okay, I know you’re not ready. I just wanna make you feel good, ok? Promise.” He kissed Peter’s chin softly, which made the younger boy sigh, eyes fluttering closed, as he nodded his head. “Let me know if you want me to stop, ok? Anytime you need to stop, just say the word.” Tony whispered against his pulse point and, again, Peter nodded, and then he felt the finger pressed against his hole start to move slowly, just rubbing circles against the puckered skin and Peter was so confused, because it felt fucking amazing. And dirty. And wrong. And right.

He felt Tony moving underneath him and he knew he wasn’t just rutting against him – which he was, too. He saw him take something out of his back pocket with his other hand, then the pressure against his hole disappeared, and Peter whined loudly in complaint, then blushed furiously in embarrassment. Tony smirked at him, licking his lips.

“Patience, padawan.” He placed a kiss on his chin, then Peter heard him uncap something and when he looked down, he noticed Tony was holding a tube of lube. His fingers tightened on Tony’s shoulders and the older teen looked up at him. “Hey, what did I say? Do you want to stop?” Peter shook his head quickly, holding Tony’s face in his hands.

“I trust you,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss him, and as soon as their mouths made contact, he relaxed again.

Tony held him close, deepening the kiss, and for a few minutes, that’s all they did. Peter rutted slowly against Tony’s stomach and the older teen rolled his hips in time with him, as they kissed and kissed like time meant nothing – and it didn’t. It really didn’t.

At some point, he felt the other teen’s hands sliding again down the back of his pants, he could feel his fingers were wet and colder than a few minutes earlier and he braced himself for what he knew was about to come. At first, Tony just rested a digit against his hole, rubbing it gently, not applying any pressure, and once the younger teen relaxed completely, muscles going lax, he felt one finger try to breach him.

“Umf, Tony,” he whimpered, and he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say, why he was calling his name, he just wanted to say it. The older teen shushed him, warm, wet lips pulled his earlobe into his mouth, nibbling lightly as his finger sunk in deeper and deeper into Peter. “Oh, fuck.”

Peter had fingered himself before, but it was so fucking different from having someone else – Tony – do it to him. It felt so dirty and intimate, like Tony had all this power over him, like there was nowhere he couldn’t touch, nothing he couldn’t do, like Peter’s body belonged to him. It felt exhilarating and scary and fucking awesome and hot – so fucking hot.

Peter gasped when Tony’s finger was completely sheathed and curled inside him. It burned a little and he felt impossibly stretched, but so good at the same time, a delicious kind of pain irradiated from his lower back all the way up to the back of his neck, where his hair stood on end. He closed his eyes and pushed his hips back against Tony’s hand, silently begging for him to move. The older teen didn’t waste any time, as his finger slid out slowly, then slid back inside a little quicker and surer than before, sending shivers down Peter’s spine.

The boy started rolling his hips in time with Tony’s movements, literally fucking himself on his finger, making sure to rub his leaking cock against the older teen’s stomach and his ass on Tony’s impossibly hard cock, until he felt his finger touching someplace in him that sent him to heaven and back in a matter of seconds.

“Oh, fuck, Tony, fuck.” He wrapped his arms around the older teen’s neck and clung to him like a drowning man, soft moans and whines leaving his lips unsolicited as the finger moved and moved and pushed against that bundle of nerves so deliciously, and Peter’s cock was so hard and pressed so tight against Tony’s abs and Peter really wanted to hold out, he needed to, didn’t want it to be over so soon, but fuck –

He came with a cry, nails leaving angry red marks on Tony’s neck as the older teen pulled him into a rough, hungry kiss, biting his lips and licking his mouth like the world was about to end. Peter let him, let him take control of his body and ownership of his mouth as he rode out the waves of his orgasm, thinking that there was no way he could ever feel so good ever again in his whole entire life.

He sagged against Tony’s body when he was done, completely spent, and felt him wrapping his arms around him tightly, like Peter was gonna fly away – and maybe he would, who knew – as he peppered small kisses down the side of his face and slowly withdrew his finger, leaving the younger teen painfully empty.

“Tonight was supposed to be all about you, I had a plan,” Peter mumbled after a few silent minutes, pulling away a few inches to look into Tony’s glinting eyes. The older boy grinned, holding his face in one hand to pull him into a kiss.

“Well, I had plans of my own. I guess great minds think alike.” He butted his nose against Peter’s lovingly and the younger teen smiled.  

“I guess,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss Tony again. A little roll of his hips revealed that Tony was still rock-hard and Peter took a deep breath, before pulling away, getting off his lap. Before the older teen could ask what he was doing, he was on his knees, between his spread legs, and Tony reached out to hold him by the shoulders.

“Hey, hey, hey – you don’t – you know you don’t –“

“I know.” Peter smiled again, unbuttoning his jeans carefully. He tried to remain calm so his fingers wouldn’t shake so much and Tony wouldn’t notice how nervous he was.

“Pete,” he tried, but before any more words could leave his lips, his hard cock sprung free from his jeans, which caught Peter by surprise. First, because he didn’t expect Tony not to be wearing any underwear; and second, because – fuck – he knew Tony would be big, he’d cupped him through his jeans many times before, but still – “Fuck.”

Peter took a deep breath, trying to remember everything he’d read online over the week. He closed his eyes and placed tentative kisses on the tip of his cock and down his shaft, and he heard Tony cuss under his breath, melting into the couch. It made Peter a little more confident, so he took the tip into his mouth, surprised when he felt his cock growing even bigger and heavier against his tongue, as Tony moaned loudly, hands gripping the pillows around him.

Peter hollowed his cheeks and started sucking, trying to take a little bit more of his cock into his mouth, slowly. When he was reading about blowjobs, he was afraid he wouldn’t like it, or that maybe he would gag in the middle of it, but it was actually making him hard again, seeing and feeling how turned on Tony was by his mouth on him.

He placed a hand on his heavy, tight balls, fondling them carefully, as he tried to take more of his cock into his mouth. He could almost feel the tip reaching the back of his throat, but before it did, he started pulling back, which it was enough to make Tony moan and thrash underneath him. He smiled, lips stretched wide around the other teen’s thick cock, then decided to try and take him in a little further. It was all going perfectly fine when suddenly he felt like he couldn’t keep going, like something had stuck –

“Aw, fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Peter was so shocked by the sheer desperation in Tony’s voice that he immediately tried to pull away, but Tony’s hands flew to his head, holding him in place. “No, no, no, no, no! Fuck, Pete, it’s – ah, fuck, God, it fucking –“ that was when Peter realized what was happening.

“Umf,” he was mortified, he could feel tears burning behind his eyelids as he shut his eyes tightly, not sure what to do once he realized Tony’s foreskin was stuck in his braces and it must hurt like a motherfucker, because Tony had gone soft almost immediately, as he panted and gasped for air, hands holding Peter’s head firmly in place, terrified that he’d try to move away.

“Hold on, hold on – lemme just –” he could barely finish his sentences, completely out of breath, and Peter’s face was wet with tears at that point, and he was also a little breathless. He felt Tony’s fingers in his mouth, trying the free himself carefully, but Peter could taste blood on his tongue and fuck if it wasn’t the worst night of his whole entire life. “Ah! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Finally, he felt Tony pushing his head away as he fell sideways to the couch, both hands covering his dick as he buried his face in the cushions, trying to stifle his cries.

“Oh, my God, Tony, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry!” Peter didn’t really know what to do, he didn’t even know if he should try to touch his boyfriend, he looked like he was in so much pain maybe he wouldn’t want him to, so he he sat there on the floor, frantically trying to think of what to say. “I swear I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry!”

“I know, baby, I know, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay,” but the way Tony was breathlessly whispering that into the cushions made it very clear that it was not okay.

“Jesus, Tony, what – I don’t know what to do!” He cried, panicked, and the older teen took a deep breath, raising his face a little to look at Peter, and his face was so fucking red and his eyes were shining with unshed tears.

“Ice, babe. Get me some ice, it’s gonna be fine, I promise, ok?” He was breathing a little easier by then and Peter nodded frantically, as he got to his feet and hurried to the kitchen to get an ice pack. He hurried back in record time and Tony turned on his back, taking the pack and quickly placing it on his lap, letting out a heavy sigh as he did. “Tony, should I take you to the hospital?” He asked, standing by the couch and looking down at his boyfriend, who winced.

“No, it’s fine,” he sighed with his eyes closed, but it didn’t calm Peter down, not even a little bit.

“Tony, I tasted blood!” He cried, fat tears rolling down his cheeks, and Tony reached one hand out for him to take.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s just a tiny cut, I promise. It’s just really sensitive right now, but it’s gonna be fine in a couple of minutes, I promise.” Peter didn’t want to take his hand, he wanted to run and hide, but he also didn’t want to be alone, or away from Tony, so he lay by his side, burying his face in his neck and clutching his shirt.

“I’m so sorry, Tony, this wasn’t supposed to happen, I should have known, I shouldn’t –“

“Peter, it’s fine, I promise.” They were silent for a few seconds, until Peter felt Tony’s chest trembling under his cheek. He looked up, worried that his boyfriend was crying, but he was laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes – again. “Oh, my God, I can’t believe this just happened,” he laughed harder, rubbing a hand over his face.

“It’s not funny.” Peter was so embarrassed, he wished he could bury his head in the dirt and never have to look at his boyfriend again.

“It is a little funny,” Tony managed to say as he laughed his ass off and Peter tried to get up, annoyed, but the older teen held him. “Hey, what’s the matter?” He frowned, a little confused, as he tried to stifle his laugh.

“I wanted to make you feel good, I wanted tonight to be special, and I blew it, all because of these stupid, ugly braces, I don’t even know why you’re still here after this catastrophic disaster!” He knew he was being a little dramatic and maybe he was overreacting, but he just really wanted the night to go well, and it was ruined.

“Hey, c’mon, we did have a good time. Tonight was special, is special. We’re gonna order a huge pizza, we’re gonna binge watch all Marvel movies, and if it makes you feel any better, you can kiss my pee-pee better before we go to bed, what do you say?” He smiled that stupid, beautiful smile of him; soft, brown eyes glinting with mirth.

Peter stared at Tony’s face, thinking about the absurdness of that night, thinking that what was supposed to be a hot date night ended with Tony holding an ice pack to his bleeding dick, trying to comfort Peter for basically almost biting it off. He was silent for a few seconds, contemplating all that madness, before he exploded into a fit of giggles.

“God, I love you,” he blurted out breathlessly, almost without thinking, but as soon as the words left his mouth, his face turned red and his eyes widened, panicking. Before he could take it back, though, Tony smiled softly and winked at him, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

“I know. I love you, too, brace face.”

[that-little-zebunny]

can you do a bucky x reader social media ay where reader is all happy go lucky and smiley and bucky is all stoic and “emo” for lack of a better word, and they’re secretly dating and the other avengers find out through social media?

Hi! I love this request 😍 thank you so much for sending it. I'm so sorry for the wait and hope you'll like this. Kisses, Zephy.

Warning: Emotional mess (Bucky hating himself) T.T, Cursing, Angst and some fluff.

Not a Secret anymore (Bucky x Reader Social media AU)

You had been working at the Stark tower for years now. A lot had happened, you've witness lots of fighting and almost end of the world stuff but what you're not prepared for was getting promoted as Tony's Tech Apprentice. He had seen your potential and took you in to teach you the ups and down in his company.

You also started working closely with the team and you got to know all of them nicely and being an energy ball that you are they accepted you with open arms.

But what took your interests the most is the new member, Bucky. He's a very quiet person and would always choose to be alone. You've observed him a lot and one day youve decided that you'll fill his life with life.

And that you did, after months of annoying him, he end up liking you and you started dating. (Coz who will say no to that hot stuff?), Sadly tho Bucky still have problems opening up to others and that's where you've decided that as for now you'll keep your relationship privately.

But sometimes you just want to brag about him to the world.

Hence you posting some lowkey photos with him.

You were walking at the tower to go to the lab when Nat came and walked beside you.

"So, I saw your post. I didn't know you're dating someone now, do you want me to do a background check on him?" She smirked your way. Eyes serious. You gulp nervously and scratched your nape.

"Thanks for the offer and concern Nat. But we're good." You made a thumbs up sign. "I know him very well." You laugh awkwardly walking fast waving her goodbye.

Well that was scary, you thought. Knowing Natasha and her spy-ness even Bucky won't be able to hide from her. Yaykss!! Lost in your own thought you didn't see the person in front of you bumping to his hard chest.

“Oopf-” before you fell down to the floor two strong-arm scooped you up back to a very familiar chest.

“Careful, Bab- I...I mean Y/N...I’m sorry, are you alright?” Bucky cleared his throat, eyes wide as he nervously look up at Steve. You giggled at the flushed look on Bucky’s face from almost spilling one of his tons of endearment for you. Having a weird grin in your face you nodded and step back from his hold but not before stealthily rubbing your hands on his hard abs. Those are your babies!!

“I should be asking you that Buck, are you okay? you look bothered?” Steve asked with a questioning look in his face.

“I-I...I’m-” Bucky stuttered. Not wanting your man to be in more hot seat as he is now you flexed your arms in front of the two super soldiers.

“Aw Capt, I’m very much fine, I’m strong, look! Must have startled Bucky boo a bit there. Sorry I wasn't looking where I’m walking.” you showed a peace sigh before you winked at Bucky and went on you way towards yours and Tony’s shared Lab.

----

“Y/N, is such an energetic person. You should stick with her more. She might be able to help you loosen up a bit.” Steve jokes as they continue on their walk towards the tower’s Kitchen.

“Yeah, she’s like a bright light that envelopes everyone with warmth.” Bucky said with a small smile in his lips. His mind is now full of your beautiful face. How you always makes him smile and laugh so easily. Even getting frustrated because of you seems like one of the greatest experiences he had for a long while now.

He can’t help but be worried that anytime now you’ll see how unworthy he is and leave him. Because who is he really? a broken old man with so many dead bodies behind him. Even though you would always tell him that it's not his fault, it was still him who took those people’s lives. It was his hands that pulled the trigger. his face those people pleaded their lives with. It was all him. Sighing he stood up and told Steve he doesn't feel like eating breakfast and went back to his room.

He lay on his back tears flowing from his eyes metal arm stretch towards the ceiling. It was this hand...this weapon. He doesnt deserve to touch such pure and delicate person like you. He'll just put a stain on your beautiful heart. A sob went past his lips as he thinks of you, He loves you so much and would die if he loose you.

He was almost asleep when he heards a low buzzing sound near his window. He looked up and saw your red and green drone that you used to play around with. In it is a note.

"I went back to the kitchen to ask Steve something and he told me you didn't eat breakfast. There's an address behind this note go there. NOW!" -YN

Scratching the back of his head Bucky got up and went to change into a red henley and made sure he is wearing his gloves and cap.

----

He went inside of a very cozy cafe looking for you ignoring the strange looks sent his way.

Is that the winter soldier?

Why is he here?

Is he really sane now?

I'm scared of him...

And so many words he choose to ignore and went back looking for you but you're not there? Where could you be and why did you made him go here? He let out a defeated sigh.

His phone vibrated and he pulled it out to see a text you sent.

Bucky smirked at his girl's tricks. What is she planning to do right now? Making sure that a genuine smile is plastered at his face he patiently waits for you.

That is until a server put down a slice of cake and a latte infront of him, before he got the chance to say he didn't order it he saw the note written in the cake.

For the best boyfriend ever!

It says in the most messy writing a cake ever experienced.

Tears forming in his eyes he slowly looked up at you with that silly server costume and a wide & proud grin that he loves so much.

"There's the smile." You said winking at him.

He cant believe how lucky he is that you choose to love him. Not being able to stop himself he pulled you near him and held your face.

"I'm so fucking lucky to have you, Sweet cheeks. I love you so much!" Bucky half growl shouted before he pulled your face down to give you an intense kiss. Sighing, you give in opening up your lips to taste more of him not caring about the crowds that are witnessing everything. Not even caring the flash sounds of camera. Nothing else matters but Bucky and your love for him.

This man that had been hurting for so long but still have so much love to give and offers. You can never see him as someone you should be scared off oven though you know deep inside thats what he feels because you see him, the real him and you love him so much.

----

"So...." Nat said with a strict look in her face hands on her wait.

"A...ahm..." You stutter, you can feel everyone's eyes on your direction. Your forehead sweating from nervousness. "S-surprise?" You cringe while looking specially at Nat.

"Why the hell did you guys hide from us that you're dating!?" Sam said not being able to contain his excitement. "And here we are trying to plot a plan to get the two of you to date? Damn Barnes aren't you smooth man!" He said laughing so hard.

"Well, it happens and we just thought we we're not yet ready to announce it." Bucky said looking at you with a small smile and you smiled back at him.

"yeah..." You agree.

"Well, now you have no choice. The whole world now knows that the Winter soldier that people are scared of is smitten and is not scary at all. They even made a ship name for the two of you." Nat said shaking her head as she show a IG post with the two of you. Well...all the hiding only needed one stolen picture to end.

You lovingly squished Bucky's hand and he brought yours to his lips and whispers "I love you so much doll. I will never hide you ever again."

*Images are all grabbed from google, if one is yours feel free to DM me for proper removal or credit. Thank you so much 💗

Bonus part

[rad-puppeteer]

Where I’ve Been

Well, I’ve been queueing up posts when I have time but for the most part, I’ve been absent here and most other social media sites but the short answer is I’ve been sick.

Below is what have been happening recently:

Been dealing with a bunch of medical issues off and on that started long ago but it’s really been piling up the last few months. Not getting into much detail, I’ve been having a lot of GI issues and heart palpitations which ended with me going to the ER in early December. I’m still waiting if the ER bills me *sweats* They did find that I have ovarian cysts but that was only going to be on a ‘watch how this develops’ so they’re not really going to do anything about it.

However, two others issues showed up: one a bit private and the other not being able to sleep for about five days in a row. I managed to get a few more hours of sleep the last few days but now I’m wondering if the first issue is causing the sleeping issue and making my heart race when I get up and move around. My chest also been feeling numb lot lately and I also kind of feel light headed and dizzy at times. Tried taking sleeping pills last night but they didn’t work T.T but at least I eventually did fall asleep, just not as fast as I would like!

Unfortunately, because of the holidays and COVID, I won’t be able to see a doctor until the end of the year. Just hoping that I can hang in there in the meantime :/

Otherwise, I’m trying to get it easy and get plenty of rest since I just feel drained of energy lately. A lot of it is just the waiting game and it’s not fun because I just feel not good this whole time. Trying to eat has been a challenge because I don’t really want to eat :’) 

Hopefully, they can finally get to the bottom of this and I can feel more like myself again!

[feuqueerfire]

Utsukushii Kare (S1, S2, Movie) Live Blogging

I can't believe I'm finally, finally, finally getting around to watching Season 2 and the movie (+ rewatching season 1).

I knew I liked this show well enough and the characters have stayed with me since watching it in 2022 but I didn't realize that Utsukushii Kare is pretty special because it's actually the very first live blogging post I did on this blog. It was February 2022 and now it's 2+ years later March 2024. Before then, I'd maybe tweet a thread of me watching but the tweets would be sparse because I didn't wanna spam people. I think I got the idea because I was writing so many Bad Buddy thoughts (also in Jan-Feb 2022) on my show tracking spreadsheet and that wasn't sustainable lol

Anyway, looking at these is making me remember that I'd been looking forward to season 2 from when I finished watching (from my live blogging ending thoughts) and had anticipated the release of it for months and months. Even more ridiculously, in my show tracking spreadsheet, the only thing I wrote for this show was a link to my live blogging and "If there was a sequel, I'd watch" bruh that's all I had to say and yet I'm finally watching the sequel 2 years later (while the sequel has been out for a year).

Anyway, enough chatter, I think I'm just delaying watching this show because I like season 1 and the characters so much and I'm just... nervous about my expectations.

Utsukushii Kare: Season 1

Probably won't be writing much because I already did the whole live blogging for this.

Also, it's weird that I haven't rewatched this? Why do I remember it so vividly if I haven't rewatched? I occasionally watch a bunch of tiktoks for the show and sometimes people mention it in podcasts, so maybe that's why? I was thinking maybe I'd watched reaction videos but nah, apparently I'd only watched that for 1 account back in April 2022. Once again, I continue to ramble instead of pressing play

Ep 1 (Mar 23)

Watched like 12 minutes before falling asleep

Ah, the fondness is coming back

Ep 2 (Mar 23)

Oh, the group going to Hira's house and the bike riding scene is here? in my head it was later

And the bike riding continues to be an incredible scene

Ep 3 (Apr 17)

Uhhh, I'm back after almost a month lol I think I wanted something much easier without complex dynamics at the time, so I'd watched Destiny Seeker instead

Oh, I'd forgotten about this tense scene after the contest

ahh the masturbation thing lolol

It bothers me that Kiyoi was nice again to those bully boys like why make good with them again? And when you're graduating no less?

that sudden kiss + pushing him hard enough that he falls to the ground + saying "see you again" before leaving really is just terrible and confusing lol

Ah, Hira really was always putting himself down and putting Kiyoi in a pedastal in these episodes + I remembered when somebody pointed out that in Hira's POV, there are many shots where Kiyoi is on elevated ground or taller/higher than Hira, so I noticed a lot of that in this ep

Ep 4 (Apr 17)

ack, the immediate 'stalker' to someone who ppl think is his fan is so T.T

"I want to kneel down at your feet right now" kills me every time

Koyoi's inability to communicate and Hira's idealized view of him are both so just . insane

ahh Kiyoi's POV from next ep

the episode starting with Hira saying "For several insipid years, all I did was grow up." while Kiyoi ends the episode with the same sentence

Ep 5 (Apr 17)

seeing Kiyoi lose his mind over Hira is so cathartic

ough, i forgot this hug that Kiyoi sees

I disliked the other guy more when I first watched it than I do now

Ep 6 (Apr 18)

Oops, went almost the whole day without watching anything

finger sucking scene

Ouch

the conversation at the school is just so good man, like ouch but hopeful

hehe cute biking

Overall:

Ahh, idek why I wasn't Gripped by this rewatch, like I like the characters and dynamics but it wasn't keeping my attention as much, maybe because it's a rewatch? Maybe my original rating of 6.5 was correct and I shouldn't have bumped it up to 7 but who knows, maybe I'll be reintroduced to the brainworms after watching Season 2 because I found ep 6 really engaging and was into it and S2 + movie will have new, unfamiliar stories for me.

Season 2

Ep 1 (Apr 18)

How soon after S1 is this season starting?

akkkk "Are you angry?" "Why?" "Last night I was too persistent" alkdjfasd;lkf

It's weird to realize that like... I'm older than them. I was several years older than them when they were in high school and now I'm probably 1-2 years older than them because Hira said graduation is approaching but it's weird still idk

not Mr. Suspicious lmfaoo

Hira kneeling and crawling around really is just a lot

it's so funny how Hira trembles in Kiyoi's presence because he's apparently standing too close, meanwhile we know for a fact that they canonically fuck

Hira's persistent fear that Kiyoi might die ?!

they're both so constipated in different ways, I'm dying like Hira's extreme lack of confidence about his looks and sense of self vs Kiyoi obviously being in love with him and wanting to reassure him but also not being able to compliment him truthfully and sincerely

Kiyoi's every sentence is a trap lmfao

omg I was so distracted by her, she's gorgeous and I love the outfit and jewelry

Kiyoi seething with jealousy ahh

lolol "today we're gonna do it"

oh my goddd what a good episode, I was giggling and dying and so engaged, I'm glad I love it so far because I was kinda nervous after not being as enamoured by S1

Ep 2 (Apr 19)

ah, i'm clutching my heart, flashback to the scene of when Hira taught Kiyoi about the tea olives or whatever and Kiyoi just desperately wanted Hira to say he likes him

return of Suspicious-kun plss

Is the other guy who's there for Anna gonna be significant? Either as an Anna s/o as well or as a Kiyoi hater maybe?

does Kiyoi want their love life to be more exciting?

aksldfj why are each of them so annoying like Koyoma's being like yeah Hira doesn't shut the fuck up about you and your drama at school while Kiyoi's like "Is Koyoma saying he sees a side of Hira I don't see? Is he trying to assert dominance?" like girl both hira and him are just dumbasses god bless

Koyoma on Kiyoi's ass for freeloading off of Hira and letting Hira do all the housework while he just pursues his acting or whatever ohh

pls Hira treating this shitty food as if it's from Olympus

Ah, Hira joining the photography competition at Kiyoi's encouragement (though the pressure would make me buckle)

Ep 3 (Apr 19)

Hira not making it to the next round of the competition but Kiyoi still being supportive, I needed to see this rn tbh

oh my god this is so sad man, they're literally always just on different lines of thinking because Kiyoi wants to be treated as an equal in the relationship while Hira thinks it would be an insult to think of himself as ever reaching Kiyoi's status

but it's so sad the way Kiyoi wants to obviously be known as Hira's bf (even though they can't) and the way he's hurting knowing that Hira wants Kiyoi and his parents to be completely separate owwww

omg? Hira saying I don't want to understand you? fucked up fr

Their relationship is often somewhat tragic because of their dynamic and how they see themselves and the fact that what they want from the relationship is different but this ep is so sad man

Ep 4 (Apr 19)

ah, good thing Kiyoi came back because they only have 1 episode of 23 mins left and i don't want the ending to be rushed lol

sorry accidentally got the ick when Kiyoi came and ordered Hira to get ginger ale in front of everybody even though ik it's like Dynamics but still why in front of dumbass bullies smhh

Hira not liking Kiyoi saying it's fine if he doesn't get a job after uni bc he can take care of them makes sense but then smiling happily when Kiyoi says "fine, then work like a workhorse and if you mess anything up for me I'll throw you away" is sooooo

huh? Why Hira didn't submit anything?

oh it's a different thing that Hira didn't submit for? Because he did indeed submit for the contest

woah, gasped at the fact that Hira is kneeling but at eye-level/slight higher than Kiyoi instead of lowering himself as much as possible

Hira being fed chocolate by Kiyoi, ah

great, delightful

Overall:

This season is about Hira and Kiyoi's relationship. They didn't become boring after getting together, they didn't magically end up being a perfect happy well-adjusted couple after getting together, nor were there random issues thrown just because; the struggles and hurdles are true to their characters and dynamics.

I was a bit afraid that I'd be meh about it because I was like fine but not Hooked on the S1 rewatch but the S2 was great, for real. I liked the themes and dynamics it explored and their character + relationship development and progression. I also smiled a lot and lost my mind a little at certain moments.

Strong writing, strong characters, strong acting, what a relief.

Rating: 7/10

Movie: Eternal

No clue what the movie is about actually, though there are a few gifsets/moments that I've seen that didn't appear in the series, so much be from here. + I saw one comment saying that Anna and Noguchi are supposed to be there more in the movie. oh also actually?? a kidnapping plot?? i heard it mentioned in a podcast i think

omg they're each recounting how they met the other to their own mentors

not the shrine ?!?! omg

I really don't know how to feel about Anna's fan like do we need to kill him or what?

what does Hira mean by him and Kiyoi drifting apart?

hah the divorce thing is here, I loved the gifset when I saw it and have had it in my likes for Months, gonna finally be able to reblog it

i think i saw a gifset or clip in this bathtub scene and I'm a great enjoyer of people discussing their desire for dubcon/cnc roleplay

Idk if I hate that I keep skipping all their makeouts/allusion to sex scenes like aghhh

I've also seen this part about hira apologizing for not having same free time as Kiyoi and Kiyoi grabbing his face in his hand to say stop apologizing, you've tried your best. i like it a lot

wait are Anna and Noguchi dating? I wanna know who the person Anna was talking about who has her heart but they can rarely meet because they're in the same industry. and it'd have the parallel of Hira wanting to photograph Kiyoi while Noguchi gets to photograph Anna

Noguchi used to be a scenario photographer?

ah, Hira didn't show up to the shoot with Noguchi and Kiyoi

pls why are they both obsessed with this award, he doesn't even have regular professional photography experience c'mon girls

oh, Anna's bf is some random actor from another company.

her fan is being... fine for now.

Aw, Anna

dang, they're bringing Anna to live with Hira's cousin

So does the aunt know that Hira and Kiyoi are like a thing or does she still think their fan/friend lol

Hira saying only Kiyoi is allowed to call him creepy and such because he's special + Kiyoi being like "he's creepy right?" Anna: "yeah" Kiyoi: Hey!

Ouch, yeah Hira saying he doesn't know what to shoot is crazy

Oof, Hira and Anna dating scandal

It must be so funny if you're watching this without knowing about EA celebrity dating culture (though even in SK, actors can date) and being like ? why is this a scandal ?

but i'm unexpectedly getting a celebrity-centric BL without seeking it out, which is great, esp bc when I seek it out I don't tend to find too many which actually give me what I want

random het sob story in the middle of my Utsukushii Kare but I like Anna so I'll allow it for like... 2 minutes

Ah, the kidnapping lol

oh it really is the Anna fan fuckhead aghhh how terrible, he's been off since the start

pls saviour Hira

Hira gets to photograph Kiyoi professionally yay

deciding to have one subject as your photo subject is crazy if you wanna be a professional but alright I'll buy into it

ah, conversation about beauty and age

gorgeous ending

Overall:

Great, fun, though not as emotionally invested as Season 2 because they're in a better place in their relationship in this movie (even if it's not necessarily Perfect). It was interesting to have new people in their lives like Anna and Noguchi and how their stories influenced them. I'm happy with where we're leaving off the characters after ~6h of show/movie.

Rating: 6.5/10

[farawaysoph-ie]

The Bone Witch Incoherent Whatever

I started these books mainly because I can't read French very well, but this is a story for another list. I started them and finished them, and I didn't know I had needed such a story. This. Bad. So I guess a super long and super spoiler-y list was in order (while I cry again because they are too much T.T)

Rin Chupeco was immediatly added to my list of favourite human beings: the dedications were a mood and the acknowledgments, gosh wonderful

Tea of the Embers, love of my life, is amazing, I don't care about anything I loved her from her first words until the very end

Somehow we always knew where this was gonna end, but i didn't feel prepared at all, my heart breaking and mending at every chapter

"My only claim of strangeness was that I read fiercely, learned thirstly"

"We asha are always expected to be on our most proper behavior, to never have so much as a hair out of turn. Asha do not cry or scream or make threats. When people cut us, we are expected to do only two things: smile and bleed.”

The world building, the power system, the politics, Tea's commanding of the Dark

The deal with Mykaela heartglass broke my heart, I have ex that I regret and the idea that I could remain stuck like that, loving someone and slowly dying because of that terrifies me (HOW COULD YOU KILL HER WHEN THEY WERE SO CLOSE)

THE AZI

I repeat THE AZI

Tea looked at a giant three-headed undefeated dragon, went around in its head, saw it just wanted to be left alone (which same) and said I'm gonna keep it (which again SAME)

What do I have to do to befriend a dragon? (TELL ME)

Zoya turning out to be a magnificent and fierce warrior with a major case of ChildhoodFriendCrush, and not irrelevent mean girl

Also her and Shadi are just so cute, the way the first is always embarassed and everything and the other just loves and teases her more

"Unfortunately, the oracle had something very different in mind with me" takes on a WHOLE new meaning when you finish the trilogy

I hated how people started getting more and more scared of Tea, when in the end it was all a plot, a lot of prejudices were to blame, and they seemed to forget how kind my girl always was

I have to say I liked Aneah and all the words she whispered, give me a twisted dark lady and you have my attention

"A little corruption is good for the soul, Tea." To which yes, let a girl get revenge

I'm looking at you filthy oracle, I can understand the "I have to sacrifice something to win this fight" way to go, but you were just a pathetic crazy liar, how dare you corrupt Althecia

I can't get over that, I didn't see it coming

The elders made me sick, those horrible hags tested my patience, go die of old age Hestia or whatever

The end of The Bone Witch will always have my heart because Chupec dropped the ship bomb on me with a "Let's go, Kalen"

After going on with "a boy who died for me" and "I made a note to strangle Kalen as soon as I saw him again", AND THEN THAT

I was rooting for them, so I think I screamed or something: you say enemy to lovers, you have my attention

Those two invented love, it took them two books to get around, but was it worth it. They were so devoted to each other, like Kalen stayed with her against Everything and Everyone, like literally. We stan one loving boy

Whats more the oracle had predicted the next bone witch was gonna bring about the dead of her lover, and he was going around "get away from the prince!", then she went, brought down the freacking azi, trapped a Faceless one using her dead horse, and he was like "I guess I'm doomed"

gosh Fox

It all started with "Let me be clear: I never intended to raise my brother from his grave, though he may claim otherwise. If there’s anything I’ve learned from him in the years since, it’s that the dead hide truths as well as the living."

He is exactly how a big brother should be, you can feel him come back to life in every sense, slowly, until he falls in love. I could feel all his love for a sister he kept understanding less and less despite being in her head, and how this held him back from a life he wanted, but knew he shouldn't have had in the first place

Beautifully done, I felt and understood Fox, despite him not being the narrator, despite being angry at how the situation with Daisy was hurting Tea, the two of them were power siblings

“We need someone in our heads to tell us whenever we’re being idiotic. It’s the Pahlavi way.”

Mistress Parmina with her love for money, always stood behind Tea, despite her way of doing things and I wished that Councilor Ludvig was my granpa, I mean he was this kind, smart politician who taught Tea a lot and helped them mantain peace

Ah the well meaning Inessa, I liked her, but felt like I haven't seen enough of her

But the joke of how there were no rulers to get accidentally engaged to killed me, that's awareness

Polaire T.T

The infatuation for Kance stayed that way and I'm glad, and most of the last books I was like, don't hurt my girl

The Heartforger was a rollercoaster ship-wise: Tea insults Kalen, he is standing behind her; Kalen tries to be nice to Tea, Tea is very confused; pretend they are a thing in front of family; Tea compels Kalen hoping to save his life, Kalen is not pleased at all; unsuccessful apologies; realization, "compel me too", you gotta destroy this two dudes who were rude to you, so I can go "that's my Tea"; you don't just stab the Deathseeker while the bone witch is watching; very public kiss; taking each other back from Faceless influence

All the time they spent with a Heartshare rune between them

"We danced for a few minutes without saying anything. A Daanorian woman worked up the nerve to approach us but backed away when I glared at her. “Angry about something?” “You do know there are women itching to kill me right now, right?” His grip tightened. “Did someone compel the people in the palace? The wards are still in place.” I sighed. “That’s not what I meant. Never mind.”"

“Nobody’s more of a fighter than you. You’re the bravest, strongest, most amazing man I’ve ever…”

Realizes

"I mean you are alright"

When Tea jumped off the tower and the azi caught her !!! (yes I screamed, because I love one queen)

"He was the only place I could rest my head and dream without nightmares plaguing me, as they had for the last three months."

Rahim and Ches were very precious

And don't get me started on Likh

Lady Likh can very much kick your ass on her own, but try to hurt her and you'll have to speak with my punches

Khalad agrees with me (the guys in this family don't know how to get the hint)

But in the end, he was helping Tea so Likh could wake (tears, tears everywhere)

The induced madness and the Blight stuff were sick

From when Tea almost jumped off the window, with Kalen terrified poor boy, to killing Daisy (her own free and light sister T.T), to not remembering a second suicide attempt

Black heartglasses being associated with violence, and Tea's one turning because of what other people did to her

Tea' simple "I want to live", can't a girl have peace? Be free like the azi? Have daughters with her eyes and her singing voice?

"I felt the hatred you were capable of like it was my own. And in that instant, I loved the darkest part of you, because I understood, better than Fox or Mykaela could. I’ve known you at your worst." If this isn't love I don't know what is

Drunk Tea was a sight to be hold, and perfect: take off every filter from the dangerous Dark asha and what she has to tell you is how much she loves Kalen

“I don’t care. I’ll bring us back from the grave if I have to, silver heartsglass or not.” “And I will kill anyone standing between us,” he promised, before his lips closed over mine, “even if I have to crawl out of my grave to do so.”

And you know what? THEY DID.

Tea taking her trials, which after the last chapters were nothing worse than her nightmares: her home burning, her own execution could not compete with Daisy's death and Fox rejection

But Kalen was not a price she could ever think of paying

"You can’t break the rules simply because you want to. More often than not, the rules wind up breaking you."

“The world is a much bigger place than the space I occupy, and with even greater consequences.” “There will be no world if you aren’t here with me, Kalen.”

Yadoshans warm my heart

"That is the nature of tyranny, young Tea. Maintaining power is their sole intention. Why worry about retaliation and revolution when they have always intended to wield the sword?"

The whole part in which they killed Kalen and the azi, ripped my heart out

The song she must have sung for hours, and the azi waited until the end to say goodbye

Thank the Creator for the visions she got, or she would have really drown herself T.T

“Sons and daughters,” she echoed, “sons with my fire, daughters with my eyes. Mayhap one day, they will. A life worth dying for is a life worth living after all.” She laid a hand on her companion’s shoulder, squeezing. “Let’s go, my love.”

Even after this long list I feel like I didn't do justice to this trilogy or to how much I loved it. Tea's fierce and kind strenght, even when every one but Kalen was suspicious of her, even when she was going mad because of poison, even when she was trying to outsmart a ruthless enemy, did something to me.

I spent three books knowing that she didn't care if she survived, if she could save her friends then her wish to live was not important. She didn't want much, she just wanted to live. But she let go of that for everyone else. Yes I'm going to cry again.

About the ending I like to think that for finally healing the world she was rewarded, so she got the quiet life with Kalen she'd always deserved. I like to think that she and Kalen remember, that after they'd done enough they finally found their peace and freedom.

They were together, they got to be someone else and had all the time in the world.

[experimentaldata]

Rules: Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. Don’t cheat. Tag some people. 

tagged by: @momentofmemory and I’m sorry it takes me so long to get back to you on these things T.T Also YouTube shows count because I said so.

* Critical Role, Campaign 1

* Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

* Daredevil

* Buzzfeed Unsolved

* Parks and Recreation

What is your favorite character in 2? Whyyyy would this quiz do this to me. Literally all of them?? But Riza Hawkeye has my heart, I think. She is kind and warm, a cruel and ruthless soldier, beautiful but strong, stoic in the face of danger but sobbing over the pain of those she loves...just a lot of contradictions and a complex character that I can relate to. Love her.

Who is your least favorite character in 1? Uuuuuhhhhh they’re all so good don’t make me do this...not a huge fan Tary yet but I JUST met him and everyone loves him so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What is your favorite episode of 4? Literally anytime they do stuff with aliens...just the chaotic energy of Ryan’s “let’s hear them out” and Shane’s “this is patently ridiculous” is peak dumbass best friend energy and I love it so much.

What is your favorite season of 5? I would say 2 or 3. They had gotten the humor down and they really hit their stride with the characterization. That said, I have a hard time remembering which episodes go where in sitcoms lol.

Who is your favorite couple in 3? Ohhh noooooo finding a stable relationship in this show is hard :( . Foggy/Marci I would say. Especially in season 3. When Foggy’s all upset and Marci doesn’t understand but still supports him...that’s the long-term relationship experience, babey!

Who is your favorite couple in 2? Well if we’re going with explicitly canon couples, Izumi and Sig Curtis. The sheer amount of love in the midst of the grief of losing your only child, the pain of infertility AND having to watch your spouse go through a painful chronic illness, while staying faithful to and patient with one another the whole time...that’s pure love. 

(Also Royai but I mean who doesn’t love them)

What is your favorite episode of 1? It’s a tie between the episode where (SPOILERS) Pike and co. resurrect Grog, and the one where they resurrect Percy. Basically I just love seeing when the characters express what the other characters mean to them...the found family is real, yall.

What is your favorite episode of 5? Sooo many good ones...the one where they have the Halloween party at April and Andy’s is a classic though lolol

What is your favorite season of 2? Don’t make me pick one aaaahhhh...Season 3 or 5. 3 because there’s some really cool character development that happens, and 5 because it’s just so heart-wrenching and good.

How long have you watched 1? Started it a couple months ago as a quarantine project, haven’t stopped since. 

How did you become interested in 3? Oookkkayy so I joined Tumblr back in 2015 because I had a friend on there and also I was learning a language and one of the resource pages I found was on Tumblr. Turns out one of OP’s mutuals, who I ended up following, was really excited for this new show coming out on Netflix: Darededevil. I’d never heard of it. Then, they posted those panels from the Waid run where he’s describing what depression feels like, and I just felt...seen. So I watched the show, and the rest is history. 

Who is your favorite actor in 4? Well they’re not actors, so...both of them? Shane and Ryan have great BroTP chemistry and you can tell they’re having so much fun. It’s a joy to watch them interact even on top of how good the show is. 

Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? Out of those three? FMA:B. You cannot beat the diversity of female characters, heart-wrenching plot, baller theme music, and spot-on social commentary. 

Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3? Well Daredevil would be insufferable if it had the runtime of CR so I’ll have to go with CR1.

If you could be anyone from 4, which would you be? This is weird, they’re real people, I don’t like this question anymore :/

Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? *Ryan voice* This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we’re examining the disappearance of Elektra Natchios, a woman who is claimed to have reached immortality, and whose whereabouts are currently unknown...”

Pick two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely ok couple? I feel like Vax and Pike could work? Compassion/healing power couple. Still a bit of a crack ship in my mind, though.

Overall, which show has a better storyline, 3 or 5? Parks and Rec. I watch Daredevil for the characters and relationships tbh. Parks and Rec has great character development and a satisfying, if quirky, ending. Plus the anti-Asian racism in Daredevil but that’s a whole other post...

Which has better theme music, 2 or 4? KONO OMOI WO KESHITE SHIMAU NIWA MADA JINSEI NAGAI DESHOOOOOOOOOO (FMA:B obvs)

Thank you for tagging me, Mem! I’m tagging @mookybear12404 @feenyxblue @daughterofluthien @askclint and @darnitjack

[spikeymarshmallows]

so. real talk re: writing because IDK if I’ve cried about it here or just on all my discords, but i am gonna complain about it here to, mmk.

TLDR: I am sad about writing. I hope rambling about it will help.

I’m so scared that I’ll lose my ability to write TUA fic T.T I was so so productive and guys: I’ve written >300k of TUA fic since mid-December.

But in the past month or so... I’ve really lost it.

Yeah, yeah, I know there’s a lot of shit going on.

But somehow I managed to write a thesis, amidst COVID, and a breakup... I managed through some of the worst depression I’ve experienced in about 10yrs. Like, guys, I was NOT GOOD. I didn’t realise how NOT GOOD I was until I was talking to a pal and realised I hadn’t washed my hair in 10 days and hadn’t showered in 5.

And now... Now I’m just... I’m just so tired...

And the S2 negativity claws at me. I GET IT. I understand why people are upset. Now I’ve had some time away from it.... Yeah, I’m pretty : ( about it too... I have a whole rant about that (not S2--about the fandom) but that’s not for public eyes. Just... I absorb the negativity and it’s not nice. But I also understand and empathise why people are so angry about it.

And then like... People I adore and respect... The fandom has made Klaus be such a way that a lot of people dislike Klaus now... And TBQH: I don’t blame them!! I hate the woobifying we see... People are allowed to do as they please!! But... It’s not to my personal tastes.

And really, I should just write what the fuck I want... I like writing Klaus as he is, and he doesn’t represent the fandoms id, and I like that. But for some reason it gets me down how many people dislike this character I really like....

And honestly, I probs just need to quietly unfollow the people who I absorb the most hurt and negativity off. Or I gotta get better at... IDK, emotionally shielding??

And I worry I’ve burnt out... This happens every time I do a 90k+ fic... : (

And the thing is: I have a really good writing streak going and I don’t wanna break it. And I worry... if I take a break... I’ll have writers block for another year, like I did all of 2019... T.T

So. Anyway. I’m gonna talk about some of the things I really wanna write... and maybe even include some snips... Maybe it’ll make me feel okay? IDK.

[And god, I miss writing my Museum ‘verse but I am pretty blocked there T.T]

But I’ve got a Five Times Diego and Klaus Celebrate Christmas Alone, and One Time They didn’t fic...

And I’ve got this fic... Where Klaus starts learning shibari to help with sobriety and practices on his siblings, and then Diego... well, Diego sinks into subspace so fucking fast.. And we get Diego struggling with submitting/bottoming and... >:) And smut. Much smut. And rope. I really like shibari.

And I have a few fics in the works for the Banned Together Bingo, but the one I’m most excited about involves Diego adopting a dog :O

And I was gonna write “Extra Ordinary” but... That would be sad and horrible. So I’ve decided that I wanna write Klaus’ version.

Here is a snippet:

It's always hard to tell what a person's earliest memory is. All of those years kind of blur together, and all the drugs I took probably didn't help with the memory. And then you've got those 'memories' which may not be memories at all, because they were told to you and you think you can remember them, but maybe you just created a false memory in your mind, and maybe you don't really remember it at all.

But all of that borne in mind: my earliest memory includes one, Diego "Number Two" Hargreeves, throwing his bowl of what I've been told was spaghetti-o's, right at Dad's stupid face.

If you know about Diego's powers, you can imagine why this was absolutely fucking hilarious then and is even funnier now.

If you've been off in the wild, being raised by wolves and have never encountered any form of pop culture, and thus don't know: Number Two has the ability to change the trajectory of objects in motion. No matter what he throws, it always hits its target.

And its target? Dad's face.

It was a masterpiece. Easily one of the best days of my life.

I don't know if this is actually my earliest memory. But I like to think it is.

And I just want... ridiculous stories of these kids... and they’ll be in Klaus Style, and then there’ll be a chapter where Klaus is like:

And then he locked me in a crypt for ten hours.

That’s it. That’s the chapter. So all this chaos... and then this seriousness, that’ll hopefully be so abrupt that it gives emotional whiplash.

And I wanna write a Hogwarts AU, Enemies to Lovers. I’ve got a few ideas... Like... Maybe each “year” is told from the perspective of each of the seven... Allison and Luther getting together early, but Klaus and Diego taking years to get there.... Five, resentfully, a Hufflepuff, and absolutely enamoured with Vanya. Ben, long-suffering. All of them playing Quidditch... HNNNGGGG. I have a lot of ideas here.... But no Plot TM.

And a What’s Your Number AU. That’s it. That’s the plot. Maybe... with Justin and David... Or Ben and Diego.... >.> IDK man.

And I want Demon!Klaus and Angel!Diego... No plot there. Just want it... Maybe I should watch Good Omens and see if that’d make a fun AU....

And then we have [look, I’m just going through my Scrivener rn...] a High School musical AU. Not the movie... But like... The kids are in a school, and it’s putting on a musical... Angry but shy loner Diego, who can seriously dance, and disaster Klaus, and Allison who wants to be the star of everything, and Luther just has such a crush on her and MUST be in the musical to play her love interest, otherwise he’ll never find the courage to talk to her....

And then! Another High School AU. Instead of Ben dying... he nearly dies. And Child Protection are finally like “hmmm, this is child abuse...” and takes the kids away. Allison, in a panic, Rumours that they stay together... And then... chaos. Throwing the seven into public school, when they’ve never interacted with others... God. The sheer ridiculousness... And I really love the ending I’ve got planned for it T.T

I’ve also got a few S2-inspired ideas... Klaus lands in the 60's but hits his head and doesn't remember anything. He doesn't remember that he can see ghosts and so ends up absolutely terrified, and put into an asylum. Diego lands a year later, and is also put into the asylum. He sees what might be Klaus, but no. No, it can't be… Or can it? T.T And then they gotta escape and... T.T

And then I wanna project all my feelings onto Klaus struggling with being touch-averse and yet also someone that desperately wants to touch the ones he loves, but... it makes his skin crawl. [SO MUCH PROJECTION.]

And then I have a fic idea that I can’t talk about because it’s a gift for someone...

And then... Justin and David fic..... >.>

And last night... I had an incredible idea for a sci-fi, dystopian AU... It’d be a lot more Serious than the other stuff I’ve written. And I REALLY want my writing powers back because I HAVE THINGS I WANNA WRITE... T.T And those are just the fic ideas that have words in Scrivener...

But this sci-fi thing would be.... it would be an Epic. But maybe I could do it in <30k... IDK.

Anyway. I was feeling good again, and then checked Tumblr and....

I’m going to try to crawl to bed and take a valium, because the mood is so low that it might as well be in the ground.

[wildflowergrant]

initials of you || ethan dolan x reader

A/n: whoooo!!! first fic on this blog. pls give me feedback I would love it a lot.

Summary: You never were of a fan of people getting initials or names of their significant other tatted on them, but that is exactly what Ethan did.

warnings: cursing

 Grayson was about to go and get a tattoo next and of course, Ethan said he’ll go with him even though he didn’t know what to get.  But then, he thought of one that’ll make his girlfriend hate him (for only like a day).  Your initials tatted right on his ankle.  He remembers what she said a few months ago when he was thinking on what to get as a tattoo

“I don’t know, Ethan.” You said while tossing around the bed. “It’s late. Just ask Grayson.” “But Gray doesn’t have the same style as me.  He’s going to give me something colorful and it’ll ruin my vibe.”

“Hm I don’t know E I can talk about it in the morning when my brain can give you a good answer. Right now let’s just sleep.” Your eyes were slowly shutting into sleep until you felt he started talking again.

“Maybe I should get your initials tatted on me..” Your eyes opened wide and you sat up facing him. “NO” He starts to laugh at your sudden movements then went on saying “Why, what’s the big deal? I was joking anyway.”

“I don’t know, i just feel like it’ll jinx our relationship if you get it.  I see all those guys with girl’s names tatted on them and they’re like ‘oh, yea we broke up.’ And I don’t want that to happen to us.”

“Ok, I guess I have a superstitious girlfriend.” you roll your eyes while he lays down on the bed and pulled you closer. “But now I’m ready to sleep. We’ll think of one tomorrow.”

He started smiling at the thought of it and decided that he’ll buy a custom temporary tattoo of the initials when he gets there and make a prank video about it.

The day came and in the morning, he grabbed one of the cameras and went into the guest house to do the intro.

“Hey guys, by the title of this video you would already know that I’m going to prank my girlfriend with her initials tatted on me.  I already know that she will hate it because she told me a while back that she won’t allow me to do that.” He was talking with a mischievous grin the whole entire time.  “Oh yeah, I’m in our guest house right now because she’s still sleeping in our bed and I don’t want her to wake up and find out.  And today she’s going out to brunch with her friends which is perfect so Gray and I will go to after she leaves.” He stops recording and goes back to the house where you were already getting ready in the bathroom.

________________________________

At the tattoo place (i forgot what we call it ahhh), Grayson already got his tattoo and Ethan got an actual tattoo on his thigh.  But it was time to go back because Y/N was about to come home soon.

(In the car)

Ethan pulls out his camera. “Ok guys, we just came back from getting new tattoos and we’re rushing because I need to do something before Y/N gets home.”

“Guys, I don’t even know what he’s doing he just rushed us out there and now he’s telling me to drive faster, which I can’t” Grayson said while keeping his eyes on the road.

“Trust me, Gray.  Do it for Y/N.  You’ll find out when we get home.”

And soon enough, they got home and he brought the temporary tattoo to the kitchen where Grayson was standing.  His eyes went wide and even in the camera you could see the fumes coming out of his nose and ears.

“ETHAN! SHES GOING TO FREAK OUT!” E started laughing.

“Exactly, that’s the whole point of the prank.  Plus, it’s temporary so it’ll come off.”

“Well, I already know that you’re going to ask me to help you put it on, but I’m not going to help you.” “Why?” “Because I don’t want any part in this. Bro, she’s going to get so mad at not only you, but even me.”  Which is true, because although you seemed like you couldn’t even hurt a fly, when you get mad, you get mad.

Ethan rolled his eyes and went to the bathroom to try and put it on successfully.  After reading the directions for the longest time he put it on and waited for a few minutes.

“Okay guys, I think it’s done.”  He peels of the paper off and his jaw drops “Ohhohho my god guys… It looks so real.” He shows the full view of the tattoo.  It was a small tattoo on his ankle with the other cluster of his tattoos.  It was in a simple font and he actually thought that it looked so good that he wanted to get it permanently tatted on.  But he had to see your reaction first.

He showed Gray and all he did was shake his head and roll his eyes. Ethan went to put on saran wrap to make it look more real and give the impression that he really just got it.  After about five minutes, you came back and he was just casually sitting in the living room, hiding cameras all around the room and your guys’ room.

“Hey, E I’m back.  How was it?” You asked while sitting next to him on the couch kissing him on the cheek and waiting to see it.

“Good, do you want to see it? You’ll really like it.” You were smiling and he put up his ankle and began to take off the saran wrap.  When you saw it, it took a while to figure out it was.  But then, your face was slowly fading from a smile to a mixture of anger and disappointment.  

Your hand goes to cover your mouth then they both go up. “You got my initials tatted on you?! What the fuck Ethan!” He starts laughing a bit because he can’t keep it in. “Don’t you dare laugh.  You already know that I didn’t want my initials on you.” You say standing up and pointing your finger at him.  Gray tries to pass through the hall to go to his own room where he will be safe from you, but you already saw him. When both your eyes met, Grayson knew this was the end for him.  No reasoning will make you not mad at him.  

“And you!  You were with him and you still let him get that?!” there was poison in your voice and fear in his eyes.”I-I-”

“That’s right, no explanation.  I am so disappointed and frustrated with you guys… my god.” Ethan looked at each of the cameras in the room with his turtle face as you were walking to your guys’ shared room.  

“Y/N, wait.  Come on it’s not a big deal.  And it’s not like I’m going to break up with you; I want to stay with you.” “It’s not that, E.  It is a big deal. And I know that we will stay together but it just makes me anxious that we will end up like those couples that will break up and you will still end up with that. It just makes me think abut stuff I don’t want to think about and that tattoo doesn’t help.” And with that you shut the door.

“Babe, hold on.” With a smile still on his face, he goes into the bathroom and washes the tattoo off, pics up one of the cameras, and goes back to the door of the bedroom.  “Open the door, Y/N. It was just a temporary tattoo.”

“… are you kidding me.” You didn’t open the door but it could be heard through the door. “No I’m not.  Now please let me talk to you.” A few seconds later the door opens.  You saw the camera and immediately put your hands in embarrassment and went back to flop on the bed.  You just snapped at both of them right in front of everyone.

Ethan pointed the camera at you and started laughing. “I can’t believe that actually worked oh my goooddd.”

“E, you literally scared me to death I was thinking like ‘oh my god how am I going to live with this.’” Both of you started laughing. “Aww I’m sorry Y/N.  But you went off.”  You smiled and looked up at him.  “Damn, I did, didn’t I.”  You saw Grayson peeking through, still obviously slightly frightened from you a few minutes ago.  “Gray, I’m so sorry.  But you should’ve seen the look on your face.” He went into the room. “Dude, I didn’t have an explanation because I was going to spoil the prank. And E gave me the most threatening stare.”

“I even said that I didn’t want to help him with any of this because I didn’t want you to get mad at me or anything, which ended up with you still getting mad at me.”  Ethan cut him off before he could say anything.

“Ok ok I think that’s enough for you so get out and let me talk to my girl.” And he pushed Gray out, closed the door, and stopped recording. He jumped on the bed and wrapped his arms around you. “I’m sorry” “It’s ok.  Just don’t ever scare me like that ever again.” “Ok.” He kissed you on the neck. “Let’s stay like this.  It’s comfortable.”

He could see you go on twitter and type:

    Ethan got me good guys.  He got me good.

He smiled to himself but didn’t say anything about it.

“Yeah I did.” He said aloud shouting in your ear.

You did an immediate faceplam.

A/n: AHHHHH IM SO MAD AT HOW THIS ENDED IDK ITS JUST AWKWARD T.T tell me how you guys like it

Tag List: Tell me if you guys want to be in my tag list!