#where are we in at anyway lmfao

[bbina]

i’m back … 🪽 it’s been a rough few days

how are you bbina?

qotd: if AT bin was put in the situation / storyline that BTL wb had to deal with, do you think he would cope?

hai 🪽 anon ! im doing okay.. (i think) having a lil bad thoughts and ive resorted back to a bad habit but this too shall pass.... also ive been lacking motivation to write for riize again lmfao idk why but anyway what abt u~ how are you angel anon ??

aotd: omg AT wonbin in a fake dating situation i think he'd fall after 3 days and would crash out more than btl wonbin 😭 getting into a fake dating situation post 2 year real relationship?? somebody needs to sedate him . no pun intended but i think he also could not read between the mf lines !!! i also think he could not stand btl yn for the way she acted (pre chapter 28) LMFAOOOO he'd be so real with her like "just say the words and i'll go. no need for this ignoring me type shit" and with that he'd cut her out of his life for real like he got no time for this shit omggg put yourself first king (at wonbin) your crown is slippin

[arcanegifs]

Happy Mother's Day to our Arcane Moms ♡

[misfithive]

Just had a little giggle thinking about the fact Linda has absolutely no idea Simon and Wille have been talking and rekindling this whole time. Imagine she’s gonna find out with the rest of the world when watching Wilhelm’s speech after she was going on and on a couple days before about Marcus.

Linda: the Prince ?? Again?? What happened to marcus? I thought things were going so well??

Simon: ermmmm about that

[northern-passage]

if you noticed i updated the game yesterday it was just an editing update. i fixed some coding errors in the codex and i edited the character introductions so they no longer introduce themselves with their pronouns. i never really wanted to do that & it just didn't fit the flow for me so we're back to the hunter just getting everyone's pronouns beamed directly into their brain

[ardentpoop]

you know wincestiel threesome would’ve fixed cas btw. the only thing that could’ve done it.

[ghostlycod]

any of yall ever had an antagonistically flirtatious thing with a coworker before? because that’s the only dynamic I can imagine for Soap and officeassistant!reader

you see each other every day and he’s the bane of your existence. he gives you the ick, from his stupid hair to his stupid mouth to the stupid way he stands so tall above you. like he’s just one of those guys that just knows how handsome he is and he’s expecting you to fall at his feet like all the rest of them. utterly repulsive. and the way he torments you, it’s like he knows how much you hate him and he’s doing it on purpose just to get a rise out of you. he started this whole thing, really. you would’ve been happy to be a quiet hater, but he just had to instigate.

now every day is like a new exercise in how much of a bitch you can be to him, and you relish in it. it’s absolutely fucking delightful, like an outlet for all the anger you’ve been holding onto all of your life. he didn’t know there were so many different ways to be called an idiot, but you find a new creative way to do it nearly every day. why is he so obsessed with annoying you? maybe it’s enriching for his simple mind. if you ask him directly, he’ll say it’s because you’re like an annoying little sister. then he’ll try to grab you and lick your face, sending you running away gagging. he annoys you to no end. every opportunity that opens up to punch or slap him, you take. every opportunity to gross you out and make you make that scrunchy face, he takes. you two are a match made in hell. you even hate it even when he makes you laugh, because fuck him for being funny when you’re trying to be annoyed.

despite all of this, the synergy between you two when working together is unmatched. shit just gets done when you two are on the same team, even if you spend the entire time quipping back and forth, biting at each other. but when you both crack down and focus, it’s like you don’t even need words to communicate. you can read the other’s thoughts and know exactly where you’re needed, bouncing off of one another effortlessly.

people start to point out how as much as you say you hate each other, you two have become glued at the hip. constantly working together. talking to each other by the water cooler. eating lunch together, laughing and arguing interchangeably. someone suggests you two should start dating, another says he thought you two already had a thing going on. you both scoff.

“if I dated her, I’d ruin her life”

“yeah well if I was dating you, I’d ruin your self esteem”

“cunt”

“dickhead”

and then he’s trying to grab your sandwich from you and you twist his arm until he yelps

[cobra-creampuff]

i feel like i remember people posting happy birthday character posts for mickey in june? is that right? well, even if he doesn't have a canon birthday (or if he does and it's. wrong.) he has a summer birthday To Me. and i've never seen a guy who is more obviously a capricorn than ian, so! if mickey's summer birthday is indeed in june specifically (i'm thinking cancer, but it would also be really cool if mickey and mandy are both gemini - twins who aren't twins), then mickey is technically two years older than ian for about half the time.

[starryc]

ghosties 👻🥂📚

bonus hifugen vs ghost!hifugen. to me,

[kameyyy]

guess who's buying more books today even though I still have 30 others to read at home?😍

[applestorms]

i was just gonna leave this as a comment, but my response started spiraling sooooo. guess i'm makin' this a full on post lol =3=" uhh anyways, responding to @skyborneveggie's tags on this post:

#really good analysis #always here for high-functioning depression light takes #i want to add; while Light is better at reading & manipulating people in the moment he also tends to overlook some things in the long run #because of his superiority complex #like his father volunteering for the eyes in matsuda's place #and matsuda in the ending. As much as i like to think of matsuda as wholesome- #-i do think if light played his cards right he could have manipulated him over to kira's side #but he didn't because he didn't think matsuda was important in the grand scheme of things

very good points!! about matsuda in particular— it’s interesting in retrospect how consistently he’s set up as a side character, particularly with how he is almost always immediately pushed off to the side despite that. like, alongside soichiro, he’s really the first member of the JTF we see pre-lind l. tailor (in the anime, anyway. in the manga it’s a bit more ambiguous, though matsuda definitely shows up to mention KIRA bringing the crime rate down in ch.3, still quite early).

he’s always the one counterpoint within the group, playing devil's advocate in a way with how he brings up the pro-KIRA side of things, yet as you say light underestimates him So consistently that he even ends up evolving into a full on joke/shakespearean fool character by yotsuba, which is really what makes his actions in the end so incredibly significant.

i distinctly remember reading that section where aizawa & mogi are getting more deeply involved with near and, in the case of aizawa in particular, are starting to genuinely consider the possibility that light might be KIRA, and just getting sooooooo so SO goddamn suspicious of what matsuda was doing. this was in part because i already had some spoilers about the ending, specifically about matsuda shooting him, but goddamn do his actions start looking suspicious when you begin taking him seriously as a threat. like, while aizawa is starting to live through his own psychological horror novel come to life, realizing that the innocent kid & strong leader he's been taking care of & following all this time might actually have been the fucking serial murderer they've been after for literal Years, here's what matsuda is up to in the background:

(light's face here. fuckin freak LMFAO)

(this one is particularly notable to me as it shows that even aizawa underestimates him— it's not just light, it's the whole damn team. even ryuk joined in earlier.)

(and of course, my absolute favorite example. the contrast between their expressions alone here is absolutely golden all on its own, but matsuda's heartfelt "don't worry, light!! i'll never betray you!!!" in comparison to THIS only makes it all the more juicy:

like, light doesn't even bother responding to him until he's got a goddamn bullet in his hand. he just sits there confident in the expectation that matsuda will lick his soles like a dog. jesus fucking christ.)

anyways, as i was saying: he's mostly just doing a bunch of dumb shit, making silly jokes in the background, fucking around with ryuk and being written off as an idiot by most characters, especially light but again also aizawa and ryuk. AND YET. he is Always hanging around over light's shoulder, lurking somewhere behind him in almost ever panel he shows up in, perfectly innocent to the point where it's can almost be more off-putting than if he were outwardly, actively questionable. like, this panel in particular, and i mean goddamn, just look at it again:

it hits So Hard in retrospect, not just because matusda is the one to shoot light in the end, possibly being his cause of death had ryuk not stepped in when he did, but also because it's true. as incredibly fucking suspicious as this panel may seem if you are armed with the knowledge that matsuda does, eventually, end up being the one to shoot light, it's equally easy to write it off as normal dumbass matsuda behavior because that is Exactly What It Is. and you would be right!! matsuda is trusting of light to a fault— when he eventually breaks, it is Not due to his own betrayal. it's the evidence of light's. and not just of his manipulation of the task force, for years and years and years on end— it's soichiro's death specifically that finally makes matsuda lose his faith in him.

the idea that light could've manipulated matsuda over to KIRA's side had he just tried a little harder is fascinating, but i think i can also understand why he didn't exert any more effort— it was kinda unnecessary. for basically the entire story, from the moment matsuda is formally introduced, to the minute light breaks and admits he's actually KIRA, matsuda is one particularly dedicated conversation away from being a full-on KIRA supporter— or so light believes, anyway. and he's probably not that far off.

really, i'm of the opinion that it's matsuda's existence as this KIRA-sympathetic figure in the task force in the first place that causes light to believe so strongly that he could eventually convert the entire JTF over to the side of KIRA— possibly even saving all of them their lives in the process. like, as i've said before, for all that light monologues about how he's Definitely Going To Kill The Task Force, Don't Worry, I Can And Will Do It When I Have To, he. never actually does it. instead, light goes through all the trouble of keeping the JTF strung along behind him for more than half a decade following L's death, holding on to all of these strings of his former life even when they are almost undoubtedly more of a pain than they're worth. unable to kill his father, unable to kill misa, unable to kill matsuda— even when he directly tries to.

i forget which post this was on, but i believe someone pointed out before that potentially a major part of light's grief following soichiro's death comes from the fact that he springs a shock on him at the last minute before passing: soichiro never stopped suspecting his son. when he sees light's lifespan above his head his first thought is to be relieved, because the question he's held at the back of his mind for Years has finally been undoubtedly assuaged. light is desperate to believe up until the end that he can make the world truly and genuinely pro-KIRA; his final actions in the moments of clarity before he starts begging at ryuk's feet for his life involve an enthusiastic speech as he makes one final bid at converting the JTF and SPK to join him and believe in his vision of Justice.

and yet. he never quite gets mastuda.

never bothered? or never could? perhaps a bit of both, but it's a fascinating character progression nonetheless, and easily one of the most interesting arcs in the series. poor, poor mastuda, indeed.

sidenote: this is a somewhat half baked thought, but i can't help but make a somewhat minor connection between light's treatment of matsuda and his treatment of misa, as well as his relationship with takada. like, let's think through the list of his main (human) supporters throughout the series, the ones who end up taking on the title of KIRA themselves: in the first half, misa, in the second, takada & mikami. if we add matsuda to this list, we get two mirroring pairs: misa & matsuda for the front half of the series, takada & mikami for the latter.

light's treatment of each of these pairs is quite different, despite the fact that they all essentially fulfill the same purpose to him: misa & mikami act as KIRA's eyes, killing those light is unable/unwilling to himself, while takada & matsuda fill the role of KIRA's spokesperson, albeit to very different audiences. thus each half of each pair executes a different side of KIRA's ideology: misa & mikami the practical side, becoming killers themselves, and takada & matsuda the persuasive side, pointing out the positive influences KIRA's actions have had on the population to The People and the rest of the task force respectively.

it's not quite as simple as i've laid out here, of course— tadaka eventually ends up killing before she dies at light's hand herself, misa lives as light's partner until she loses her memories and never quite recovers, mikami becomes quite static, just playing at a killer for Appearances, until his actions eventually end up accidentally betraying light and leading to his downfall. yet it still seems notable to me that despite light treating takada & mikami noticeably better for the majority of the time that he's working with them, those two are the ones who eventually end up dead, betrayed and betrayer respectively. yet, in the case of misa & matsuda... for all that light degrades them and treats them like shit, those two are the ones that get to live on past him while remaining stubbornly loyal until the end, until light's own actions twist back and smack him in the head.

i think perhaps part of the reason why light never ends up converting matsuda is not just his own ego blowing Shit outta proportion and assuming that matsuda will either very easily convert/is too much of a dumb liability to even bother with, but also light's own discomfort with having followers at all. like, it really takes him that full time skip to get fully on board with the idea that people will Submit to KIRA, despite the fact that he logically must know how necessary that is. light wants the recognition and love and commitment of other people, but he doesn't necessarily want the responsibility of their own stupid actions— a sentiment perhaps reflected in how easily he kills criminals, seeing their "evil" as something to be Purged, an annoyance just as much as a liability for the happiness of the Good, Pure People of the world.

as i've outlined before, misa is the main person who's enthusiastic submission consistently gets on light's nerves and icks him the fuck out, but i can't help but wonder if this same reaction applies at least in part to his distaste of matsuda. it's easier to get away from matsuda at least, considering he doesn't have to play the Good, Heterosexual Boyfriend around him, but that doesn't mean it isn't still somewhat present either. this also gets interesting if you start considering lawlight dynamics during yotsuba as well, and L's similar (if somewhat more overt, even) dislike of matsuda during that era BUT. that'll perhaps have to wait until another essay lolol =3=

[baravaggio]

going to be seeing my dad for the first time in a couple years and he made a list of records he had left with me 10 years ago when he moved that he wants to take back with him, and looking at the list I’m kind of crushed ngl lol

[essektheylyss]

I'm not gonna put this on the other post cuz I don't really want it rebloggable but I do want to specify that like, yes I was being dramatic about Essek in terms of affect, but every part of that post is also quite literally a description of my experience with a creative field that is pretty centralized around a few locations and that has made it stringently difficult to enter and stay in the field. There are obviously monumentally different aspects around those circumstances, but like... look I left Los Angeles literally two weeks after the c2 finale with a very clear understanding that once I did, I was not going back, and that because of that, my career would never look like I'd wanted it to in any capacity, and in fact it was likely that it meant I would not work in the field I'd trained for ever again, and also knew it was the only choice that made sense if I wanted to, like, have a life. And I do! And it's great! And it still makes me very upset to think about for many reasons! So you can see why I have a lot of feelings about the whole situation.

[jakowskis]

"i hated owen for all/most of s1 i only started liking him in s2" weak. i liked owen since he got choked against a wall by an angry woman and then told her he wanted to shag her immediately afterwards. and then even more when he spent ep3 trying to intimidate and murder a rapist

[acebytaemin]

i was having a discussion with a senior at the company and he paused and said ‘wow. you’re exceptionally intelligent’ as if surprised.

[lonleytea]

moments in dbd where your screaming “LEON TAKE CHASE” as you are both running through the halls of midwich being chased by a weird clown man and are near impending doom.

[teenagefeeling]

some queer american history books i think are really good overviews/intros to the topic:

a queer history of the united states by michael bronski— not too long, super readable, extremely informative (imo the best intro on this list), and available for free as an ebook on the internet archive

intimate matters by john d'emilio and estelle b. freedman— this book was cited in lawrence v. texas which is pretty cool! it's a little less specific to queer history and more of a history of sexuality overall but i shit you not i cited this book in some way in literally every single essay i wrote for my LGBT+ history course in college. d'emilio and freedman cover a Lot of ground here (publisher | worldcat link) (d'emilio is also a gender studies professor and expert in the field who also happens to be a very prolific writer who's published a lot of books— i recommend looking him up if u like reading about queer history, he has a lot of shorter more "fun" types of books too. also he's from chicago and a lot of his books are about chicago so i'm biased towards liking him lol.)

the gay revolution by lillian faderman: this book is super long and im ngl i have not read the whole thing, but what i like about it is that faderman treats queer history like a narrative, introducing us to influential figures as characters and telling major events as stories that are easy to follow along with and emotionally connect to. it makes for a very readable book and imo makes it easier to actually remember all the stuff that happens in it. the mental image of marsha p johnson climbing up a streetlight pole to throw bricks down at cop cars is never gonna leave my brain lol (publisher | worldcat link)