#where are my beefy aliens

[star-crossed-sluts]

I saw that you write for so many of my favorite fictional men and wanted to request something for Venom or Lucifer x fem Reader involving Micro/Macro and Toys if possible ^^

Unfortunately, I realized after receiving this that micro/macro is different from size kink and I'd put the wrong one on my list, but I took the chance to write the sappy, filthy Venom fic I've always wanted to <3

I'd also like to note reader is described as soft and plush, but also drowning in Eddie's shirt. This is not meant to alienate any particular body type, I simply choose to write Eddie Brock as the broadest mfer who needs shirts with multiple X's on the tag to accommodate his beefy shoulders.

Contents: 4.8k words, female reader, chubby reader coded, playful banter, monstrous tongue and penis, oral sex (fem receiving), clit pinching, size kink, kitchen counter sex, I love you's exchanged, tentacles, multiple arms, poly issues, healthy discussion of feelings after sex, multiple orgasms (fem receiving), coming inside, breeding kink, doggy style sex, aftercare, talk of proper after sex peeing, talk of UTIs, post-coitus cuddles

Minors DNI

You are responsible for your own media consumption

“You’re wearing our shirt.”

The plural pronoun sends a shiver down your spine despite the wet summer heat invading the apartment. Thick fingers run down your exposed neck and across your shoulder. “Yes,” you say, even though it wasn’t a question. You glance back just to be sure and see Eddie staring down at you. “It’s too hot.” It’s a warning as much as a complaint. It’s too hot to do anything. 

“Poor little one.” The voice coming from your boyfriend’s lips wasn’t his, but it made your core throb all the same. “Precious thing doesn’t deserve to suffer.” 

“No,” Eddie agreed. His hands rub firm lines down your arms and over your waist, playing with the excess fabric his shirt drowned you in. “No, my sweet-”

“Our!” 

He huffed, face falling to the crook of your neck, arms wrapping tight like a band around your waist. Despite your urge to smother this frisky mood, you couldn't not comfort your love, fingers threading through his short hair. Hot breath washed over the tender skin, dull teeth scraping against you. 

“I had you first.” 

You pulled him off your neck, pressing your lips to his. His moans rumbled through you, mouth opening, practically begging for your tongue, but you pulled him back off. 

“Of course you did, baby.” You could see him bristle, knowing Venom was surely making his displeasure known, and pulled him back in. Eddie dove eagerly for your lips, but you pressed him back, hands on his shoulders trailing down his chest as you nudged his nose with yours. “You two ever going to get along?” 

“Yes,” 

“No,” 

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” you giggled out, pressing another soft kiss to his lips. Before, that would settle him. Nights when you both knew he needed to be at the office in six hours but still got lost in each other, you would force yourself to be the responsible one. Tongues lapping behind teeth became soft and slow kisses that often missed, grazing the stubble on his chin or dancing across his eyelids. Your hands rubbing over his chest would settle him, leaving him limp under your touch as you worked out his trouble spots. 

That was before the equivalent of a 21-year-old on Viagra was piggybacking in his body. 

He picked you up like it was nothing, fingers cold on your bare hip where they sank into the plush fat, swallowing your squeak as he placed you on the counter. 

“Sweetheart,” 

You knew that voice. Even half garbled with another man’s, you knew that voice. 

“Baby, I'm so hot,” you pleaded, even as your nails raked down the back of his neck to make him purr against you. 

“Yes, you are,” 

Ah, fuck it. 

“Shirt,” you demanded, tugging at his collar. His desperate scramble to get it off made your lips curl against his, lapping your tongue into his mouth to make it even harder on him: to hear him groan like you were hurting him. 

He had to pull away to get the fabric over his head. When he pushed back in half a second later, his tongue hit the back of your throat. 

They practically dripped saliva down your throat, swallowing every sound you made as you choked on their thick tongue. Your boyfriend’s lips were suddenly cold and slick against your own, his hands bigger and sending chills through your overheated body as they felt their way up your shirt. Growls poured into your mouth, big palms finding your bare tits - cupping reverently, letting the soft fat fill their palms, lifting them off your chest.

“Sweet girl pretends not to want us,” they muttered, pulling their tongue from your throat to taste the sweat beading down your neck, letting you pant into the hot apartment, trying to calm your pulse as it throbbed against their tongue. “But you strut around naked under our shirt?” 

You took their wrist in response, dragging their thick fingers down, down, over your soft stomach - having to tug them along as they tried to follow your stretch marks instead - until they found their way between your wet folds. You let a smug grin spread your lips, even if the noise rumbling out of them said you’d pay for it. “I always want you,” you admitted, sighing at the soft pleasure as those slick fingers pet over your puffy folds. “I’m just an adult who can manage myself.” 

Eddie came back to you, performing a scorned boyfriend with a dramatic gasp. “How dare you,” he accused, nipping at your plush bottom lip. “I manage myself just fine.” 

“Yeah, I can see-” You squealed, high-pitched and mortifying and totally not your fault since he’s the bastard that pinched your poor clit. Your fist came down on his shoulder. “Asshole!”

“Hey, Vee did it!”

“Did not!” 

“Oh, you’re such a little-” 

“Lord,” you griped, pushing his hand away. Two distinct voices whimpered at the loss, the black slime-like substance that made Venom’s body swirling over Ed’s as they fought each other for control, Eddie’s eyes flashing white then back to your beloved bluish gray. “All right,” you decided finally. “You two need to learn to cooperate before someone gets caught in the middle! I’ve got too many sensitive squishy bits to let you past second base if you’re going to get pissy in the middle of things.”

Oh. Oh. Oh, you may have fucked up. You could practically see the will to live evaporate off both of them at the mere prospect of a world without your body. Venom’s goo turned watery, nearly dripping off of Eddie’s skin - as if he wanted to make sure you knew just how heartbroken you’d made him. And Eddie! Your poor boyfriend’s perfected the sad puppy look, big glossy eyes and a desperate rasp to every breath.

Damn it, why does he look so hot when he’s pathetic?

“You know I’d never let anything happen to you, sweetheart,” he stressed, nudging his nose against yours - a meek attempt to get you to forget anything that didn’t involve him being buried in your thighs. 

“I’d eat every soul on this pathetic planet before bringing you anything but pleasure.” 

“Very romantic, both of you,” you assured, carding your fingers through Eddie’s hair. Then, after a moment’s hesitation, you gently stroked Venom where he was bubbling to the surface on your boyfriend’s cheek. Both men leaned into your touch, nestling into your palm like it was home. You gently guided them back to your lips, laying soft kisses over their face. “Can you be good for me?” 

“Mmm, I can be so good to you, sweetheart, you know I can.” 

An eager grin spread from their lips to yours, sharing a wet kiss before you tapped their shoulders, nudging them down. “Show me?”

You may as well have offered them the world. In a way, you have: you’ve offered yourself. They gladly dropped to their knees, open-mouthed kisses pressed to your inner thighs, climbing higher and higher as you spread your legs for them. Neither was one to tease, and it was barely a beat before you had to brace your hands on the countertop behind you as their long, slick tongue lapped between your folds. 

“So sweet,” they mumbled against your lips, easing their tongue into your pussy to lap at your inner walls. “Can we make you come, baby? Can you take several tonight?” 

You opened your mouth to respond, but a soft suckle to your clit pulled a moan from your throat before you could get a word out. “Haa- several?” A deep growl rolled through their tongue inside you, curling to press on the spot Eddie knew by heart and Venom diligently took note of, working the thick muscle in your cunt. “Hey, I didn’t-” Their thumb - coated by Venom to ensure a slick glide - strummed your clit in soft circles. “Ah, fuck, Eds! Yes, I can take it!” One hand snapped to their head, fingers sinking into the soft locks to force them still as you rocked your hips against their face. 

Normally, you wouldn’t consider yourself easy to please. Months of slow exploratory sex finally led to Eddie knowing how to bring you to the edge better than yourself. 

Normally, your boyfriend’s tongue wasn’t nine inches and dripping thick spit, making a mess of your poor cunt he’d started fucking open on his tongue. 

“Such a good pet for us,” they purred without moving their lips, Venom’s voice becoming more dominant. If you pried your eyes open, you could see him slowly hiding away the pale skin of your boyfriend: half his burly chest jet black and gaining bulk with every second. Their tongue and fingers faltered, and you watched their brows furrow.

“Be nice,” you reminded, but they didn’t pay you attention until you yanked on Eddie’s hair. “Boys,” you drawled, pulling your shirt over your head. Their movements immediately turned lazy: thumb falling short of your pearl, tongue slowing to soft laps at your walls as they practically gave you heart eyes. “Gotta be good.”

“We’re good,” they swore, even as Venom reached out with thin tendrils to pluck your nipples into peaks. “Just need our sweet girl to come on our tongue. And our fingers, and our cock-”

“So needy,” you teased, stroking down their sharp nose. 

Maybe it was mean to tease your boyfriend so much. Maybe the alien cohabitating his body has a shorter fuse than Eddie. Maybe they were both so wound up from seeing you in Eddie’s shirt, sweat dotting your brow, the cusp of your ass peeking at them whenever you lifted your arms.

Maybe you should’ve thought of this before you were laid out across the counter. 

Their tongue dove deeper into your cunt until you thought you couldn’t take anymore, then curled around and came back, double-stuffing your poor cunt to the brim, folds sticking together with your own slick and their spit. Their thumb on your clit became two thick fingers rolling the poor bud between them, pinching meanly at every squirm you gave - doing the same to your nipples as they slowly turned red under their touch.

“Cruel precious!” Your back arched off the countertop, scrambling for anything to hold onto as they started fucking you on their giant tongue. Sloppy, wet sounds of sex filled the kitchen, a burning heat crawling up your neck as they shamelessly worked you over, collecting your ankles in one hand to fold you in half. The burn in your thighs was nothing compared to the wave of pleasure every pinch, every thrust, every strum of your clit brought crashing over your body. It felt like you were getting your pussy stretched - guts rearranged - by the biggest cock on Earth, except a cock doesn’t lick and suck and roll inside you. 

“Pretty thing always loves to tease,” they grumbled against you, their voice vibrating through your skull, filling your head with their words, making it the only thing on your mind besides the need to come. “Acting like you aren’t desperate for us.”

“Fuck, Eds-” A sharp pinch to your clit, the flat faces of even sharper teeth pressing warnings against your inner thighs. “Venom!” They rewarded you: a deep, pleased rumble running up your spine as the pointed tip of their tongue rubbed shapes into your g-spot. They let you writhe and buck against their face, tongue easily keeping you filled wherever you go. Your lungs were full of fire, sweat-slicked palms sliding on the counter as you tried not to fall completely onto their shoulders. “Please, Venom,” you whined, “make me come! You’re both so good to me! Don’t you want me to feel good?”

Oh, the guilt trip worked every time. Won’t you make me feel good? Don’t I deserve it? No matter how you dished it out, the result was the same. They melted under you - literally, in this instance, Venom dripping off Eddie’s arms - tongue working harder inside of you, pushing deeper, fingers rolling over your poor bud. Venom’s cruel pinching all over your breasts became a more loving caress, slick tendrils swiping over your stiff peaks like soft kitten licks. 

“Want to make you come,” they rumbled, eating your cunt like it would be their last meal. “Always look so beautiful when you come. We'd be so happy to have you on our face all night.” 

You could feel every nerve screwing up tighter and tighter as they worked you up, your body falling limp in their hold as they carried you over the edge. “Oooh, that sounds so nice, baby,” you breathed as you came back down. You reached out, a greedy smile pulling on your lips when their fingers laced with yours without a thought: your cutthroat journalist boyfriend and his brain-eating alien alike putty in your presence. On their knees to worship your body, eager to hold your hand at the slightest sign that you’d allow it. It made the words fall from your lips that much easier. “But I think if you don’t take me to bed this second, I’ll smother you.” 

“Win-win,” they purred before they hurled you over their shoulder. “You should sit on our tongue after we fuck you.” 

“Vee, I plan on being comatose after this.” 

“That is acceptable as well,” they decided. Hands as large as your torso lowered you gently to the bed, arranging you on your hands and knees carefully - like a porcelain doll settled into her new home on the shelf. “Precious one?” 

You gushed, chest swelling, lips spreading wide as your smile took over your whole face, fingers dancing across the sheets until their thick ones intertwined with yours. “Mmm, yes, my love?”

A deep purr rumbled from the barrel chest against your back, long tongue curling along your jaw as they formed their body to yours. Their wine-bottle thick cock spread your folds, rutting against your clit, letting you soak them in a vain attempt to make the entrance easier. “How do you want us?” 

Fingers wrapped through yours, palms to the backs of your hands, chest to your back - they had you completely surrounded, encased in them. You turned your head, kissing their arm. “Take me,”

Your boyfriend was by no means a small man. Eddie’s always been broad. Thick arms, thick thighs, and a lovely thick cock that spread you like it was your first together all over again.

Venom’s weeping tip struggled to press past your lips. It took a few tries - a few, bullying thrusts - to fit the fat head into your cunt. The rest of their shaft went smoother, his hips rocking back and forth, fitting just a bit more into you each time as your slick covered them. Stretching your walls around their huge cock, head battering your insides as they stubbornly refused to let your body take anything less than all of them. It felt like Venom was purposely swelling his slick skin, just to make sure every sensitive nerve got some love - just to hear the breathless moans drip out of you like the sweetest nectar. 

“Ours,” they gushed, hips beginning to properly piston into you, bouncing off your ass. Fingers occupied with yours, thin tendrils pulled off their torso and wrapped around your body, lifting you until your dangling fingertips barely brushed the sheets, pulled into Venom’s malleable chest like a waterbed. You’re sure they’d wrap completely around you if you’d allow it: envelop you completely, keep you so close there was no firm line separating your bodies. 

Their tongue sank past your lips as if hearing you and agreeing, licking their way to the back of your throat. “Our pretty darling’s so sweet,” they purred, pressing their cock so deep inside you you thought they must be licking their own leaking slit inside you. “Should wear our shirt all the time: let us lick you up whenever we want.”

Your throat pulsed on their tongue as it slithered out, licking their own drool off your chin as you panted breathlessly. “You… haa… you both want to do that all the time, though.”

Their chest rumbled against your back with laughter at your expense, tendrils pulling you impossibly closer and splitting apart to tenderly stroke your clit and nipples. The steady thrum of another orgasm building ran through your nerves like electricity, but beyond that, a smile grew on your face. Because even with an alien tagging along, your boyfriend can’t leave an inch of your body untouched when he fucks you. He’s insatiable enough when he’s bound by anatomy, always kissing up your neck and rubbing your soft waist when he’s rocking his hips into yours - it only got worse when Venom got the green light to join in. Suddenly Eddie had a dozen hands, reaching everywhere to touch everything, almost as if it was for his pleasure instead of yours. Almost as if he wouldn’t - or couldn’t - come without your tits filling his palms and your gummy walls sucking on his cock.

“Can’t be helped,” they purred into your neck as your walls fluttered around them. Their hips stuttered against yours, pace changing to something slow and hard, dragging their fat cock against every nerve, punching their mushroomed tip to your cervix to try to force a path deeper into you. Their shoved their tongue back down your throat the second you opened your mouth to cry out, swallowing your moans before they even left your lips. “Such a pretty thing should always have her pussy filled. Lips kissed, hands held, fucked so dumb she goes limp on our cock-”

“‘Ee,” you struggled through their tongue and your own delirium, gasping for air when they pulled it out of your throat. “Vee,” you moaned, lightning running through your veins as your walls fluttered around them. You could hear the wet squelch that accompanied every trust, feel the creamy slick gathering at their base and running down your thighs, sticking to theirs with every solid connection their hips made against you. 

“Yes, little one,” they cooed, nuzzling against the side of your head. Their hips hammered into you, efforts on your clit doubling as your whole body started to quiver so cutely in their arms. “Tell us what you need to come. We’ll give you anything, love, just tell us-”

“Kiss.” A heat washed over your cheeks and down your neck, but you persisted. “Eddie… kiss!” A sob fell from your lips when they remained poor and alone, throwing your hips back on his. “Eddie, please! Vee, give me my boyfriend!” Your dangling feet kicked through the air as the silence stretched, small growls traded back and forth in the same voice as the two argued with that special connection that only the two of them shared. The thought spurred you further, shaking your hands intertwined with theirs. “Baby, please!” 

A slick noise, like tentacles separating, and the scruff of Eddie’s stubble raked deliciously against your neck, lips kissing up to your jaw just to tease you further. A desperate whine from your lips, and he finally caved, licking into your mouth like he could devour you entirely. His lips felt like home, washing over you so warm and soft even as he pounded into your sopping pussy - but then again, that was home to him. Fucking your soft body until you were limp and pliant for him, your usual banter dying on the tip of your tongue. 

“Gonna come, sweetheart,” he breathed against your lips, flicking his chin to bump his nose with yours just to make you smile and giggle against him. “Gotta tell me-”

“Inside.” He started to smile, a laugh building in his chest as you freed one hand to weakly smack him for it. “I swear, Eddie, if you think about pulling out-”

“I know,” he soothed, pressing a tender kiss to your cheek as he chased his orgasm, Venom dutifully working your body to bring you yours, too. “I know, baby, you just wanna get filled up, yeah? ‘S why you need both of us, huh? You need us to fuck up your pussy ‘til you’re sore an’ swollen an’ fill you up with our cum?” Barely a beat before his fingers snatched the column of your neck, wrenching your head back against his shoulder. Your back arched with a deep groan, eyes going all misty as they pounded into you. “Tell me,” Eddie commanded, voice deceptively soft and sweet, like he was merely asking you for his morning I love you. “Gotta tell me how much you want it, or I’ll stop.”

“NO!”

Eddie groaned, rolling his eyes. “Fucking parasite doesn’t know how to talk dirty.” Another kiss to your cheek, his little grounding method: his assurance that his love for you can be chaste, too. “Teach him, baby?”

You kissed him back, lips dragging over his rough stubble. “Fill me up, handsome,” you nearly whispered, voice beginning to crack as he skillfully worked your body over. “Wanna feel you come inside me. Please?” A breath where you regained enough sense to question your words. Another and it was gone again. “Want a chubby baby with your eyes…” 

Hands were suddenly everywhere. Two with a painful grip on your tits, kneading the soft fat. One on your hip and one with a handful of your stomach, both maneuvering your hips back as they thrust in, letting their fat cock breach further inside you than anything else ever has or will. On your neck, your clit, and your thighs, all groping and tugging and rubbing fast circles. You’re suddenly ass over head bent over, sheets getting caught in your mouth as they jackhammered into your poor, sopping cunt, thick cock pulsing maddeningly inside you. 

“Precious little one wants to be BRED,” Venom hissed; terribly, awfully pleased as he overpowered Eddie to pound you the way you needed - the way your sweet boyfriend could never, for fear of hurting you. Venom had no such worries: you were a big girl, and if you wanted to get fucked and filled until his cum drips out of your folds, well, who was he to deny such a lovely creature? “Breathe, precious,” he coaxed, making another hand from his slick body to press your face further into the sheets. “Gonna give you everything you want,” 

Moans died in your throat as they manhandled you into a deep arch, thick cock reaching even deeper without having to fight past the bulk of your ass, pussy practically on display for them to play with. God, you loved it. 

Your orgasm hit like a brick wall, crashing over you, making you crumble in their arms. Their grip (all 12 of them) turned soft - tender, loving circles rubbed into your lax muscles, turning you into a pretty pile of twitching jello on the bed. They eased your hips down, letting you lay flat as they worked you through the high, hips pumping into yours at a steady beat. By the time they stilled, groaning low into your hair as they emptied their balls into you, your heart was pumping at that pace. 

You smile when Eddie’s hands grab you, keeping you pressed firmly against his bare chest as he carefully rolled you both to your sides. Kisses pressed to your temple and soft cheeks between murmured praises. Whispers of my sweetheart, y’did so good, so gorgeous, filled the bedroom like a fog, rolling over your body like a warm bath. 

A soft kiss to your neck. “Y’should pee, sweetheart,”

You huffed at him, grabbing his wrist to pull his arm tighter around you. “Five more minutes? I need my cuddle time…”

He pretended to groan, lying through his teeth about how he won’t feel bad when you give yourself another UTI, and he won’t even buy you cranberry juice, even though you know there will be a glass waiting for you with breakfast in the morning.

“YOU LOVE EDDIE MORE THAN ME!”

“JESUS!” You felt the wet slap against your hand before you realized you were swinging, Venom’s weird bobbing head taking the hit and simply returning to an inch in front of your face. 

“WHY?!”

“Inside voice,” Eddie groaned, trying to shoo the symbiote away like a bug.

“I WILL NOT USE MY INSIDE VOICE! PRECIOUS FAVORS YOU!”

A groan built up in your throat as your high quickly faded, but you held it back: it couldn’t do anything good. “Vee,” you chided, “you know better than to talk to me like that.” It was something established almost immediately when he’d entered your relationship. He practically swoons at the memory of you throwing mugs at him while Eddie yelled at him not to let any of them shatter.

No, can’t get distracted!

He grumbles, laying his floating head on the pillow in front of yours. “... you love him more than me.”

It’s a statement. One that makes Eddie’s arms tighten around you, afraid of what the alien might do if he dislikes your response. He knows Venom wouldn’t do anything to harm him, but there may always be the underlying fear that you’ll become fair game one day. Randomly, or for whatever reason, he may wake to the taste of you on his tongue in a way he never wanted. 

But you amazed him, just like you seemed to do every day. You pet the alien’s head just like you would Eddie’s when he was stressed, and you spoke without a hint of fear for the razor-like teeth in your face. “Love can’t be measured, Vee, you know that,” you chided, but your voice held no edge. The same way you would chastise your niece that you loved the bouquet she picked you, but maybe let’s not pick from people’s flowerbeds. “I don’t love him more.”

He bristled like a cat. “You always want him when we fuck you!” 

“Yes,” you agreed gently, “because you hide him away.” You tapped the flat side of his teeth. “And you don’t have the equipment for kissing.” He still grumbled, but was all too eager to tuck into your palm when you offered it. “You have to be more understanding, Vee. You have no idea how long I’ve known Eddie. We were best friends, then he started courting me - took me on dates, brought me flowers - before we even started seriously dating, let alone living and sleeping together.” You stroked his smooth head. “So there’s gonna be a difference in how we interact versus you and me… okay?”

A stretch of silence where Eddie held his breath. If there was anyone who could talk down a brain-eating alien, it was you, but that fear in the back of his mind…

“... I understand.”

You smiled, kissing his head. “Good.”

“I should court you.”

A laugh from you, a joking gripe about having competition from Eddie. “That’d be sweet, Vee.”

A sharp gasp fell from your lips as Eddie’s cock was pulled from you so abruptly, his arms as well as he tumbled to the floor. 

“Wha-”

“Let’s go, Eddie! I won’t come home without a suitable trophy to gift precious!”

“Wait, Vee - fuck - stop! I’m not wearing pants - I’m not wearing anything!”

“Not my problem!”

Eddie cried your name as a last attempt, glaring at your poorly hidden laughter. You took pity on him, clicking your tongue. “Not now, Vee,” you chastised, patting the mattress. “Y’know the rules, I need my cuddles.”

“Oh - yes!” He dragged Eddie right back into bed, snapping Eddie’s arms around you as if he wouldn’t do it himself. “Cuddles,” he mumbled, seeming to seriously ponder the word. “... ah!”

You felt your heart melt - just a little bit - as he curled into the crook of your neck, realizing he’d been pondering how to cuddle with his bobble head form. He nipped the tender flesh under your chin, just barely working it with his teeth without breaking it as he melted into the curves your body provided. Soft purrs started tumbling out of him, Eddie’s arms tightening around you, pulling you into his firm chest. His hands started kneading your hips, his self-soothing method that always emerged after a rough night - work or sex, he needed to touch you. Feel you push back on him, know you were real. 

“Love you,” he muttered, words almost lost in your hair. 

You brought his hand to your lips, kissing across his knuckles. “I love you.” You turned your head, lips brushing Venom. “And I love you.”

“I love the both of you, too,” he purred, “Eddie won’t say it, but he loves me.”

A short laugh, but no denial. You had rules about lies in your bedroom, after all. 

“... You should really go pee.”

“Baby, please shut up.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

[marlynnofmany]

Aiming the Machismo

I’m on the tall end of our ship’s lineup. Not the biggest by any means, but with half the crew short enough to elbow in the head accidentally, and the others only that tall when they stand on tentacle-tip, it’s easy to think of myself as one of the big ones.

Sometimes we make deliveries to people who enforce that impression. Today was not one of those times.

“Move aside,” said the deepest voice, echoing from the opaque helmet of a Smasher in an armored suit. “Official business goes first.” His companion was just as hulking, with shoulders that looked like they wrestled buffalo for fun and hands that could crush a coconut.

I was glad he wasn’t talking to me.

“Official, huh?” demanded an Armorlite, sticking his dinosaurian face in close to bare teeth at the helmet. His voice sounded normal by comparison. “We’re official too, and we were here first. Get in line.” He was backed up by a half dozen similarly beefy individuals — a surprising collection, really: big Frillians and a couple extremely jacked humans. They made a wall of sneers worthy of any gym bro turf war.

The Smashers weren’t impressed. But at least they weren’t taking out any weapons. “Rule violators who are wanted in several systems have been spotted nearby. We’re here to capture them for the greater good. Move aside.”

The Armorlite laughed in his face, saying that they were bounty hunters too, and they weren’t about to let anyone get ship fuel before they did. The air was full of jeers and testosterone, or the alien equivalent. Some of the macho individuals were female. It made no difference.

It was unfortunate, though, since this mess was between us and the front counter, where a single put-upon Heatseeker stood behind a sign about repairs. I saw why none of the bounty hunters had gotten their fuel yet; apparently the dispensing nozzle for midsize ships was broken.

Good news. That’s what we were here to deliver, among other things.

I looked past the hoversled full of heavy machinery at the two most muscle-bound members of our crew, whose body language was currently more timid than usual. I guess they knew their place in the macho pecking order. Blip was glancing from one face to another as if trying to predict a winner, while Blop stood at attention and stared into the middle distance. All of their many frills were slicked back as if trying not to draw attention.

Well, I was a slender breakable twig compared to everybody except the little Heatseeker, and none of that was my problem. “Guys,” I said. “Let’s yell ‘delivery’ on three.”

They both looked at me instead of the nonsense. Blip nodded, standing taller and relaxing her frills into a more normal position. Blop took a deep breath that it sounded like he needed.

“One, two, three. DELIVERY!”

The argument stopped, and multiple dangerous faces turned in our direction.

I tugged the hoversled forward and spoke into the brief silence. “Repairs, so everybody can get their fuel faster!”

What do you know, the sea of biceps and teeth parted to let us through. With Blip and Blop pushing from behind even though the sled didn’t need it, I led the way past everybody taller than me to where the green-scaled Heatseeker waited.

“Thank you,” he said in relief. “That nozzle broke right after our regular supply ship left. Do you have time to stop by our sister colony on the fourth planet? We ordered extra of one of those other parts, and it sounds like they need it.”

“I think we can manage that,” I said with a glance at Blip and Blop. “Let me just check with the captain. Are the same rates okay?” Behind me, the arguing was getting loud again.

The Heatseeker agreed readily over the noise, and called somebody else up to the front to confirm everything. Instead of shouting into my phone or trying to get past all the competing pectorals twice more, I sent texts and invoices to whoever was in the cockpit.

Surprisingly enough, the boisterous voices moved their debate outside while we worked. By the time we got the delivery unloaded except for the part going to the sister colony, the room was quiet. I was glad for that, though worried about what we’d find when we left.

I asked the Heatseeker at the counter, “Have those bounty hunters been here before?”

He shook his scaly head. “No. I hope they finish their business soon and move on.”

I agreed. We said our goodbyes, then the twins and I maneuvered the nearly-empty hoversled back to the door. The only thing left on it was a bundle of cables for some sort of electronics. Thoroughly packaged to keep out dust, and tied down in case of unexpected jostles to the sled. I hoped there wouldn’t be any of those on the way to the ship. With a glance at Blip and Blop, I moved forward to open the door.

Cheers, grunts, and thuds greeted me. After one cautious step out onto the rural spaceport, I saw how the meatheads had decided to resolve their differences. It wasn’t by fighting. It also wasn’t a dance-off, which I’d seen once before. No, they were taking turns picking up empty fuel tanks and seeing how far they could throw them. It was very far.

“Let’s take the long way around,” I suggested.

“No kidding,” Blip agreed, pushing the sled faster. “Before they decide to throw us.”

I stepped quickly. “That’s an option to them?”

“Probably.”

Blop said, “I hope the sister colony is quieter.”

“Me too,” I agreed as we hurried to our ship with roars of triumph filling the air.

Surprisingly enough, the three of us got to see that sister colony ourselves shortly after. Usually our crew trades off in who hands over the deliveries, so it should have been Paint and Mur doing this second dropoff, but this was an unplanned one and they were busy helping deep clean the medical bay. So I went again with the Blip and Blop, and we got to appreciate a similar reception area with no slabs of beef causing trouble.

“This is a lovely place,” I told the Heatseeker with deep blue scales at the desk. Windows lined every wall here, giving us a view of rolling hills where cloud shadows drifted over bushy trees and equally bushy sheeplike things. The scent of spicy flowers wafted through.

“It is,” she replied, looking tired. “The aromatic moss on the trees is particularly beautiful.”

The other Heatseeker checking over the cables said, “Too bad the locals weren't making up their monster stories. If those were actually fake, I’d be a lot happier.”

“What monster stories?” I asked. Blip and Blop got more alert behind me.

At the same time, the first Heatseeker asked, “They’re not? Are we sure?”

The guy with lighter blue scales straightened up. “We’re sure. Another set of their livestock got killed last night, and more personal accounts of missing people have turned up now that we’re actually looking into it.” He gave me a glance. “We don’t know what kind of monster we’re talking about, but I have theories.”

I looked out the windows again. The scenery didn’t seem quite as welcoming now. “Is there a local predator eating people?”

The receptionist hurried to clarify, “Nothing gets eaten. The people always turn up again, and the animals are damaged but not taken away.”

Blip asked, “Have you put up security cameras?”

“Yes, that’s what this cable is for. We’re putting up more, and making sure they’re connected to a proper power supply.”

“But did the first ones see anything?” Blip insisted.

“Not the culprits,” said the darker Heatseeker. “We need to aim higher, I think. And adjust for light fluctuations. Whoever is doing this brings spotlights to upset the cameras. Or else it’s some sort of natural bioluminescence on a grand scale.”

The pale guy shook his head. “It’s definitely somebody in a ship. Creatures on foot wouldn’t be able to make those patterns in the plants, at least not that quickly.”

I whipped my head around. “Crop circles?”

“They are circular, yes.”

“So people are being taken,” I repeated. “Abducted, then returned, while livestock is getting mutilated and there are circles in their crops?”

“That’s about the size of it.” The guy gave me a sharp look. “You’ve seen this before?”

“Not personally,” I said with a frown. “But my planet sure has.”

“Oh!” said Blop. “It’s those little gray guys, right? I’ve heard about them. No morals at all.”

“Yes, them.” I felt my frown turning into a proper scowl. “They harassed my planet for generations, and never answered for it. They only left when we made contact with the broader galaxy. The frill-tearing mud eggs.” I made sure to insult them in both Frillian and Heatseeker terminology, to make sure we were all on the same page.

The darker Heatseeker looked appropriately scandalized. “That would fit with the way only the locals have seen them here. They must be avoiding us.”

“But maybe they’re about to leave soon, right?” asked the paler one. “Since they only like uncontacted prey who can’t report them?”

“Probably,” I said. I turned back to tap a finger on the payment tablet. “Let’s finish up quickly. I know just who to tell about this, and these little gray bastards are exactly the kind of rule-breaker they’ll outdo each other trying to catch.”

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[rubberizer92]

🌟✨ Welcome to the Grand Final of Latex Legends League Season 7! 🌈 The atmosphere is electric, and the excitement is off the charts as our final three contestants stand on the brink of immortality in our rubberized society. This is the moment they’ve all been fighting for, the ultimate showdown where legends are made! 🔥💥

Our final contender is the charismatic and beefy Nick from the USA 🇺🇸 - @woofzuko !Nick has wowed us with his rugged charm and powerful performances. From his stunning debut in the futuristic arena to his unforgettable display in the alien nightclub, Nick has proven time and again that he’s got what it takes to be a Latex Legend.

Tonight, Nick dazzles in his epic golden rubber suit, exuding confidence and raw power. The fireworks behind him illuminate his muscular frame and silver pants, highlighting his transformation throughout the competition. His journey has been a blend of strength, charm, and undeniable presence.

Let’s get behind Nick and make him our Latex Legend! Vote by liking, commenting, sharing, and/or saving this post. Every interaction counts, and Instagram feed votes are crucial! Comment "My Latex Legend" to boost him to victory! 🌟✨

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Would you tell us more about your pets someday mayhaps? 🥺👉👈 I love reading your stories about Rascal (precious puppy), but did I understand right that you have More pets?? ❤️

Awww this is so sweet anon. I'd love to tell you about my little jerk babies! <3 Doing this in age order! :3

Rascal- a 16 year old black english cocker spaniel. aliases: Razzy, Mr. Baby, bear, pookie, Sir (when he's in trouble) - came from a flea market 16 years ago. best $150 anyone ever spent -he's very sweet, my soul dog, love of my life. but also he is evil to me sometimes, as is his nature. - he's deaf and can't see well but his nose works! he could sniff out a hot dog (his fave snack) from across town. :') - he also has a sixth sense for when the fridge opens? i don't know how he knows. - sleeps next to me most of the time TwT - does NOT like to be held but is so holdable - has a docked tail so he has a little bear butt - is currently laying on the wheels/ legs of my desk chair so i can't escape. he does this constantly T-T - sometimes displays symptoms of dementia where he doesn't want to eat/ acts confused. :( and that makes me very sad. - has a heart condition and a problem with retaining fluid so he's on two different diuretics. - basically he has every illness but i love him so much. even when he accidentally bites me. i would kill for him and i am not joking. <3

Charles- an 8 year old tabby cat aliases: Charlie, auntie's girl (i'm her auntie), asshole - found her in the garage, her mom took her brother but left her :( - is trans! - we thought she was a girl and gave her a Grown Man's Name to piss my dad off but then she turned out to have a penis. we use she/her for her. - wicked princess from hell. <3 - dumb - has freakishly long whiskers? - sometimes doesn't look like herself. jess and i joke that she's a shapeshifter and forgets what she looks like so she gets it wrong :o - lets me hold her like a baby but then gets mad about it. :/ - doesn't like wet food but likes the gravy of it? - YOWLER

Thomas- a 7 year old calico cat aliases: Tiny, aunty's girl (i'm her aunty), jerk - found her in the weeds outside my house! she was screaming like a banshee. her mom also left her! :((( - FAT!!! she weighs 14lb and we don't know why! her pouch is LORGE - constantly being bad to get attention. :/ - scratches jess's desk chair, rips up curtains, tries to eat any and all string (yarn, my HAIR, shoelaces, etc.) - chases the (50lb) dog around, but lets charlie beat her up? (charles is only 11ish pounds) - looks like a lil alien sometimes - annoying baby! - will climb onto your lap and demand pets as soon as you're trying to do something (jess constantly falls victim to this, rip jess</3) - youngest child energy :/ (jess is the cats' mom so... it tracks)

Daisy May- a ??? year old tan pit bull mix aliases: brownie, brown sugar, wifey (she thinks that her and jess are married), brown susan, (i got confused), beth (??) - was our neighbor's dog but they abandoned her! >:( then she was ours. - escaped containment one day and came back preggers >:( - had 8 puppies and hated all of them but one. - very sweet, wants to live in jess's lap - heavy! - likes being danced at, loves to WAG, will jump on you to give kisses - criminal mastermind. maybe.

Buford- a 5 year old black and tan pit bull mix aliases: Boofy, stinky, skunk, dickhead, BEEF SUPREME, beefy - the one puppy brownie liked. - NEVER SHUTS UP - brain the size of a pea. a small pea. - is afraid of Thomas but not afraid of Charles - velcro dog. cannot pee without her. - constantly chewing on her feet??? nasty! - has very soft ears <3 - HEAVIEST! - makes me wanna die a lot T-T - will steal food from old men (rascal) with no remorse

anyway!!! that's all my stupid babies i love you for asking about them anon. if any of them were photogenic i would share pictures but alas...

[whimsyvixen]

Whimsy! I checked out the new Spiderman 2 game and you gotta see the design of Venom!! They made him big, thick and beefy! <3<3<3 Like we're talking about 19 inches of Venom and they even gave him cake!! He's a total big thiccc daddy and I heard everyone's been saying that XD and I love it hehe. And also, he got a long thick tongue too

Girl, I could've sworn I'd answered this I'm so sorryyyy 😭

I haven't checked out the game BUT I have seen all the thirst edits for him.

And YES HE'S SO FUCKING MASSIVE AND THICKKKK 😩😩🥵🥵 Especially the one where he grabbed MJ and pulled her down and then you hear a gagging sound in the background?

I SCREAMED and nearly fainted on the spot. It had me salivating for days and don't even get me started on that tongue. I always catch myself clenching my thighs when he whips out that bad boy. Channeling all my strength into writing a small drabble for this alien one day.

[vacantgodling]

oh shit are the random barely used oc rambles still open... bc if so.... 🥼 labcoat

NEVER TOO LATE!!

so two ocs i don’t use that often anymore (even though i love them and i think about them a lot) are my alien ocs: salvia (left) and then sugar (right)

tl;dr they come from an alien species from a distant planet where their abilities/biology is based on the 5 senses. sugar is sight & salvia is taste/smell (they go hand in hand). either way, they’re apart of a college exchange program where they go to earth and experience a host of interesting situations adapting to earth poses (including a lot of sexcapades lol)

sights (sugar) have multiple eyes—three at the bare minimum (sugar himself has 5). each set of eyes has different properties but usually the main (largest) black ones only see black and white and most sights have those. sugar’s smaller set of eyes above the large set have colored vision, and his fifth eye (in the center of his forehead) has telekinesis. all aliens have cool toned skin btw ranging from deep black to lighter blues and purples. sights are also the closest to human anatomy and they procreate the same way humans do, thus a human and a sight could have a child. they’re the only one of this species that can procreate with humans.

tasters (what salvia’s variant is called) have a much more alien biology to humans. they have poor vision to the point of partial or full blindness (which makes sense as on their home planet they live in caves) with black sclera and colored irises. they rely fully on scent for “sight” and their heightened nose and taste receptors are important to their day to day life. they can literally eat anything and it turns their saliva different colors; their saliva is also mildly acidic — kind of like tasting an orange or a citrus fruit. won’t hurt you but definitely gives you a zing. they also procreate with their tongues — tongues themselves can be up to 1.5 feet long and their jaws have a slight accordion of sinew to them to accommodate for it (they can stretch their jaws like a snake). they can’t get humans pregnant and vice versa—they don’t have external genetalia, only a hole where they can insert tongues and lay eggs from. however sex with them is very fun (salvia himself is MUUUUUCH more of a whore than sugar is 💀💀💀) they can also smell arousal and emotions :3

in terms of personality, sugar is quite shy (but god he’s so hot, hairy and beefy and just a sweet bean) but once he warms up he’s a really caring and helpful friend. salvia, as mentioned, is a whore and thinks humans smell and taste amazing and is always getting into shenanigans and never does his homework, which stresses sugar out. sugar’s 27 and sal is 25 in human years :)

it’s very slice of life and i would love to use them more i just dk what to do with them but i should draw them more and also several years ago a friend wrote some REEEEALLY hot smut of sal and their oc and i think about it fondly

[mwolf0epsilon]

Do you think the SW Sequels Era did anything right? I've seen a lot of backlash in regards to what they did wrong, but I'm genuinely curious to see what some people think were positives ideas to come out of the whole ordeal. (Luke's characterization, Reylo canonicity completely sidelining Finn and Poe, and Disney/Execs overall throwing their POC cast to the wolves when they weren't happy with conditions were decisions that should have never been made in my own opinion btw)

This is one of those topics that might stir up a wasp's nest depending on who you ask, but honestly the Sequels Era as a whole wouldn't be so bad if the executive decisions behind them weren't such a disrespectful trash fire.

But yeah Anon, I getcha. We've all seen people's (rightfully) negative opinions of the Sequels Era and how much squandered potential the trilogy turned out to be. That said I do think there are some positives. Mostly in the form of ideas that DO still have potential so long as they're approached with care and consideration.

With that said, what I think they did right:

The Force Awakens - It's just a straight up good movie that opened the door to a lot of possibilities. Good OST, good cast, interesting alien and creature designs, combined some pretty dark elements that could very easily be explored more deeply by anyone who's interested in sparking a debate about willing conscription vs forced indoctrination and how to tell the two apart, etc. I still consider it a part of mine and @lost-on-kamino 's Forceful Intervention AU Verse because honestly it's a movie that paid excellent homage to both the original and prequels trilogies.

Star Wars Resistance - A lot of people consider it a subpar show, which honestly I don't see. It has so many interesting themes, from privileged kids that want to actually do good instead of sitting pretty while the world burns around them, the dangers of targeted propaganda and how it's specifically used on youths that are dealing with trauma left behind by war, trying to make your way in a galaxy that isn't always friendly but that can offer you community if you know where to look, and more. The cast is fun, the style isn't the worst I've seen in terms of animation, and overall I feel like it's a breath of fresh air to focus on characters that aren't inherently connected to the Force.

Kix Lives - There is absolutely so much potential behind the reveal that Kix was not only frozen in stasis by Dooku, but also found 50 years in the future after everyone he knew and held dear to his heart have been dead and gone for a long while now. The amount of survivor's guilt and trauma would be immeasurable, if not torturous, and I feel like the writers at least owe it to Kix to help him find some legacy his brothers might have left behind. Be it artifacts or even entire lineages they might have been able to start. If not that, then at least show us some of his adventures with the crew of the Meson Martinet.

Barghests - They added a new kind of space doggo that I absolutely love the design of, and want to see in action so badly. Just look at these absolute creatures of all time:

Delightful beasts! Friend shaped! Worthy of as much esteem as the humble Massiff, the zesty Charhound or the beefy Corellian Hound!

And that's about it on my list of things that the Sequels Era did right. If only the rest wasn't an absolute mess... We could have definitely had something really good to work with.

Ah well... Nothing like rolling up the proverbial sleeves and getting to work exploring all the wasted potential yourselves!

[scarycranegame]

if im telling the truth & if you want whole-hearted opinion, i think someone should write some honest-to-god, genuinely terrifying beefy die fanfiction. no not just "OH PIN GO CRAZY SHE KILL PEOPLE WITH KNIFES OOOOOOOO SPOOKY MENTAL ILLNESS DEMONS!!!!!!", like. shit that legitimately could make someone have an existential crisis. actual psychological horror.

post is cut because my ramblings are super long lol

like... does anyone ever think about the implications of recovery centers? that's some revolutionary technology right there but it's just never explained how they work. do you think they clone people? do you think they're like... time machines of some sort that, instead of moving the whole world backwards or forwards in time, alter the current timeline so that whoever died is still alive? if so, does that mean it takes alternate-timeline versions of those characters from their native timelines? where do those versions of the characters come from when they're recovered? just how many different beefy die timelines are there? does anyone notice when their timeline's [insert character here] goes missing? furthermore, every recovery center we see in the series is just.. out in the open. what are they powered by? batteries? solar power? death? who invented recovery centers and when? how did they engineer these things? when did the jump from hand-powered to automatic happen? did they know about the a.lgebraliens, and the fact that apparently some of them can just straight up function as walking recovery centers? speaking of which, how do they do that? does any other alien civilization take advantage of that ability? if so, does that play any role in the invention of g.oiky's recovery centers? are recovery centers made of dead or enslaved algebraliens? CAN ALGEBRALIENS EVEN DIE???????

and this isn't even mentioning the amount of body horror in this show...... like. the fact that parts of your body can just be stolen at random? a gumball that, upon being eaten, will remove a set of limbs from your body? how the hell did any of this happen, how the hell does it work, and how many times that we don't see has it been used. who figured out that you can, in fact, do this. why did they figure it out. what happens when you can't just magically get their limbs back from an omnescient/omnipresent prize wheel. what would've happened if b.fdia ended after the 11th episode. do normal objects without limbs/face/feelings exist? apparently, yes. how did they get that way? did what happened to pin happen to them?

these objects can apparently run established businesses and have some form of currency. do they have homes? families? where are they? why do we never see them? what's the deal with y.o.yle city? why is it abandoned? what about all the straight up aliens we see in the series? we know where a.lgebraliens come from, we know where davids (& potentially doras) come from, but what about the faces? they're not objects and clearly have a very different way of doing things than most objects. where did they come from? what is it like there? are there other yellow faces or purple faces? do they all hate each other? are they all named the same? are they all cursed (literally, according to tpo.t 4)? how did they end up in g.oiky? what even are they, and what are they capable of?

i dont wanna go over the post limit but man. there's just so much to do with this show. and its such a shame that, despite everything, all the fandom wants to do is write "jeff the killer but he's a leaf".

[neapoliting]

little late today, but that's FOUR le-june-aires......ya boy jo mama, the most ultra boy

this is one i've reworked a bunch of times actually, and i like where he ended up for now...there is a lot to work with for mr nah but also a lot about his usual design that is sort of generic

my first mission was to make him look like an alien, so i gave him spikes and some green scaly skin. one thing i've tried to avoid is ONLY making these characters Alien by crayon-boxing their skin, so for some of them i've given them a human-ish tone but with non-human features, like here. tbh i'm not TOTALLY sold on it, but i think it works alright

putting a little more personality into jo's design is a lot of fun - i LOVE jo's power gimmick, and giving him those wonky haphazard spike does two things: make him look ready to tussle and rumble, and make him look a little off-kilter and unbalanced. the hope is that this communicates his very Roll With The Punches shtick

i had to make him beefy. i liked super beefy jo from retroboot. i also like long hair for jo, and i put it in that floofy ponytail to use some more triangles and squares basically...

as for colors, the green and red is kind of necessary to be recognizable as ultra boy, but i desaturated and darkened the red more than usual. i wanted to keep those obnoxious green pants, and i think that dimming the shirt a bit helps it look a little more cohesive. i also am a fan of staying away from generic spandex when possible, so i gave him that ripped shirt.......over his spandex............to make him look cool

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Sneak Peak to Upcoming Unnamed Solar Opposites Monster Universe Au (Now Solar Opposites: Unleashed)

In Parker’s lab, she was busy working on a scanner that can detect monsters while the adults were chatting and Kevin’s kids were playing with the Pupa.

Parker: just finished putting the final touches And done!

Phoebe: Is it done kid?

Parker: Yep. This scan can detect any monster in sight, even bad ones.

The scanners is starting to beep on the computer as it shows some blue dots

Sonya: Oooh, can you see if it works?

Kevin’s Kids: Yes, yes!

Parker: Okay! turns on the computer

Kevin: Look! These signals are us. Me, you guys, Phoebe and our kids!

But until there was a big red dot coming out of the screen.

Miss Frankie: What the fuck, what's that red dot?

Parker: Huh? The computer has detected something!

Miss Frankie: What is it?!

Darcy: I don’t know, it looks like it's coming to our house.

Then something's smashed on the walls as it makes a huge crack and a roar was heard as everyone gasp.

Principal Cooke: Oh, shit! what was that!?

Phoebe: What the fuck...?!

The wall breaks apart and it was revealed to be Mutant Vampire Jaime as the gang gasp.

Mutant Vampire Jaime: ROOAAAAAHHH!

Darcy: J-Jaime?!

Miss Frankie: Holy shit! What happened to him?! He’s fucking huge!

Phoebe: Hey! Bring it on you fucking monster!

Mutant Vampire Jaime: ROOOAAAH! *He's gotten angry and fighting Anti-Ray*

Kevin’s Kids and Sonya: Aaaahhhh!!

Principal Cooke and Kevin: KIDS! quickly grabs the kids

The humans run outside to safety where they quickly went inside a closed grocery store and hide.

Miss Frankie: What's the fuck is happening?

Darcy: My husband is a giant beefy vampire monster!

Kevin’s Kids: crying

Kevin’s Wife: Shh, it's okay, kids. Mommy and daddy are here.

Principal Cooke: Aw fuck, now what do we do?!

Suddenly, Jaime appears and starts to break through the window by smashing it with his fists.

Kevin: Oh fuck! He’s back!

Mutant Vampire Jaime: ROOOAAAAH!

Darcy: Honey, please! It's me, your wife! Darcy!

Mutant Vampire Jaime: ROAR!

Darcy: Argh! 😫

Phoebe: punches Jaime in the face Sorry Jaime! to her friends and frenemies Run!

Mutant Vampire Jaime: Urgh! Grrrr! grabs Phoebe but she kicks him as she lands on her feet

Miss Frankie: Quick! Keep him busy!

Phoebe: Oh I’ll keep him fucking busy!

Mutant Vampire Jaime: beats his chest RRRAAAAAH!

Meanwhile, at the Solar Opposites’ house, Korvo and his family hears a distress signal and opens it up, to show Jaime fighting with Phoebe.

Korvo: Holy shit! Is that Jaime?!

Terry: What happened to him?!

Monica: I-I don’t know!

Parker: comes in with Sonya Korvo, we need you and your family help to stop Jaime! He’s out of control!

Sonya: What are we gonna do, Mr. Opposites?!

Korvo: thought of something I know how!

The Solars drove up to the market with Monica, Sonya and Parker while Phoebe is still fighting with Jaime.

Phoebe: Jaime, calm down! This isn’t you and you know it!

Yumyulack: What the fuck is happening now?!

Pupa: screams as he hugs Terry

Terry: Don’t worry Pupa, I got you.

Jesse: Aw geez! We have to stop Jaime before he and Phoebe both get hurt!

Korvo: Don’t worry, I got us covered.

The Solar Opposites made it where Phoebe turns to look at them and smiles in joy.

Korvo: Not so fast! loads his tranquilizer gun

Phoebe: Guys!

Principal Cooke: What are the fuck are you aliens doing here? He’s gonna bite you!

Mutant Vampire Jaime: RRRRR! He's going to bite her, but Phoebe punches him in the face and Terry holds him back

Terry: Hey! Nothing of bites! Now Korvo!

Korvo gets out his gun and shoots a dart at Jaime as it hits his chest and Jaime collapse on the floor.

Mutant Vampire Jaime: he felt woozy and fell down on the floor Ugh!

Jaime turns back to normal as Principal Cooke and Kevin helps pick him up.

Korvo: Quick we must get home out of here before someone sees him.

Phoebe MacCarthy and Monica Miller belongs to @themagicwolf6677

Parker belongs to @prospitdaydreamer

[bridgetswonderfulland]

"Old Fingerhead."

"Darn those Hoos..."

Y'know that weird-looking axolotl-like alien over there? That's Old Fingerhead, rarely seen as "Young Mouthbottom" to other people, people mentioned him as "The Greatest Catcher Of The Space". Though beefy and a bit of chonkabonk, he was rather sarcastic and mean to others because he wants to be alone and hates being bothered. Speaking of Young Mouthbottom, he's a second alter of O.FM's "fishy plurality" which he has only two alters. Nobody knows but he told them that it would be a secret and never be revealed, although you can see him "trying to find himself".

Here's my redesign on Old Fingerhead/Young Mouthbottom, he's underrated but he deserves a spinoff(or not, depends on what the creator will). I will might head back to the Ratboy Genius fandom, maybe skulking for safety. I do believe it's alright to gave him a headcanon that he suffers from DID/OSSD instead of having two faces (hence why Young Mouthbottom was here). Perhaps he'll let Y.MB slide in public so nobody will know who he truly is without the plural, I guess he doesn't want to let people despise him heavily because of the incident where he captured the Hoo-Hoos.

[jazzystudios82]

His Lovely Rose - Chapter 19: A Distress Call

Previous. . . . Next Chapter. . . .

——————————————————————————

Location: Planet Earth. . . .

Bulma began to panic at the sight before her. Several members of the Frieza Force were viciously attacking Krillin, Master Roshi, and Tien, Piccolo nearly died saving Gohan from a deadly blast from Frieza, and to top it all of, Trunks and Goten somehow learned of the Frieza situation and were here trying to help as the fusion "Gotenks" instead of being at a safe place.

Gotenks had managed to beat random alien named 'Tagoma', who was actually Captain Ginyu of the "Ginyu Force" in the guy's body if she remembered correctly, but unfortunately, the two unfused at worst time possible! Why did the Fusion Dance thing only last for 30 minutes? Because of that, Bulma had the two boys stay near her and Jaco for their own safety, despite their complaints. 

"Oh come on! Where are Goku and Vegeta when we need them?!" Bulma exclaimed. Her friend Jaco stood near her and the boys, using his blaster to keep Frieza's soldiers far away from them. "Don't you have some kind of device to contact your husband or something?!" Jaco yelled. "He has a phone, but he left the damn thing here! And Goku barely knows how to use his! The only other thing that I have on me is some. . . .!" Bulma remembered the little gift that Whis gave her the last time he visited. What did he call it? A communication stone?

She took the small rounded stone out of her pants pocket and looked at it carefully. 'What did Whis say that I had to do with this?' She thought to herself. 'Just call out Brier's name and she'll answer it? That sounds about right.' 

Bulma then remembered the whole phrase the angel told her to say. After having Trunks, Goten, and Jaco follow her to a nearby rock for cover, the blue haired woman placed the stone on the ground and nervously shouted: 

"I-I summon Brier of the Plantae! Please accept this message!" she shouted with panic. A few seconds passed, and nothing happened, almost causing Bulma to break out in a nervous sweat. 

"Mom, are you-" Suddenly, the stone on the ground glowed a bright shade of red, startling Bulma, Jaco, Trunks, and Goten. Though Bulma's brief fright turned into immediate joy. Looks like they have one more chance to survive this! Though she wished that the goddess would hurry up and answer the call. "Wh-What is that thing doing?" Goten asked his lavender haired friend. "I don't know! Mom, what's it doing?" Trunks asked. "It's supposed to contact Brier! I don't know why it's taking so-" "Hold on a minute! Did you say 'Brier of the Plantae'? If that godly family is real. . .then that means you weren't lying before?!" Jaco said. 

"Of course not! Why would I lie about something like that?" Bulma told him, though it seems that Jaco didn't hear her. Whether that was because he was ignoring her on purpose or not is unknown to her. 

"Then that also means that Beerus the Destroyer is real also?! The most dangerous being in the entire universe?!" Jaco shouted, practically sweating. Though he managed to shoot a nearby Frieza Force soldier just fine when the beefy alien warrior got too close. "Oh relax, Jaco." Bulma told him. "I know I haven't heard much about the stories about him, but he's actually rather chill. . .for the most part anyway." 

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Location: Beerus' Planet. . . .

Beerus glared at Goku and Vegeta with a murderous aura. Well, more specifically, his anger was targeted at the orange clad Saiyan. Vegeta had the misfortune of standing right next to him. "L-Lord Beerus? Did I do something wrong?" Goku asked, nervous. Beerus could see little beads of sweat appear on the Saiyan's face. "Did you really have to ask my wife about that, you idiot?" Beerus said.

"Huh? What do you mean?" 

"About Blanc and Rosa's father, you dumbass!" Beerus yelled. He truly looked as if he planned to murder Goku on the spot. "I can't believe that you-" "Lord Beerus, may I remind you that it wasn't Goku's intent to bring back those painful memories for Lady Brier by asking her that?" Whis whispered. "I'm sure that if he knew of how sensitive the subject matter is, he'd most likely have worded it more carefully." ". . ."

'Dammit! Whis is right. . .!' Beerus thought. He took a deep breath and said, "Look. Next time, don't just ask Brier questions like that out of nowhere. She's rather sensitive about those kind of things regarding her life before marrying me. Especially about those two's old man." 

"Should we ask why?" Vegeta asked, feeling a little brave. "He wasn't a bad person, was he?" "Quite the opposite, but you don't need to know about the circumstances right now. When she's ready, she'll tell you two about it. Just remember to think before you speak the next time." Whis told him and Goku. Again, more specifically towards Goku. "Understand?" Goku and Vegeta nodded their heads. 

"Good. Whis, send them to that place. Now." Beerus commanded, looking at his attendant. "Yes sir." Whis said.

And before Goku or Vegeta could ask any follow up questions, the black orb on Whis’ staff glowed brightly, and proceeded to transport the two Saiyans to a different location. “About time that I had some peace. Now I believe that it’s snack time.” Beerus said, despite having the macarons and tea earlier. Either way, Whis decided to just do as he was told and walked to the palace to bring more food. 

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Location: Brier's Room. . . .

“So how long do you two think you’ll be able to stay with us this time? Two weeks? A month?” Brier asked, talking through the communicator. “Since we’ve finished early, Grandfather says that we’ll be able to stay with you and Beerus for a while. A month or two at the very least.” A soft male voice said.

“Really? You two don’t know how happy that makes me.” Brier said, a smile appearing on her face.

“Oh I think we have a good idea. Even though I can’t see you right now, I can tell based on your tone that you’re quite ecstatic that Blanc and I will be coming back. So, how’s Whis, Kero, and the ol’ man doing?” A chipper female voice asked, causing Brier to let out a small laugh. “They’re doing just fine.” Brier told her daughter. "That's good to hear! It's nice to know that they've been doing well." 

“Also, there’s something that we’ve been meaning to ask you, mother.” Blanc said. “Oh? And what’s your question?” Brier asked.  

“Who is this ‘Son Goku’ and ‘Prince Vegeta’?”

"Huh? I’m sorry?” Brier said, confused. “How do you two know about them?” “Kero told us about the events about three months ago, if I remember correctly. He also mentioned that those two are now being trained by Whis.” Rosa answered. Brier’s eyes quickly looked to her familiar, who began to whistle and pretended to dust some objects nearby. “I see. . .” was all Brier said. 

“So who are those two? Not trouble makers I hope.” Blanc said. 

“I can assure you two that Son Goku and Prince Vegeta aren’t troublemakers. At least, I don’t think they are. We haven’t known them for that long. To me at least, they don’t seem like the type.” Brier told them. “Well, Rosa and I will have the chance to judge them for ourselves when we arrive. It shouldn’t take us too long to arrive. A day or two at most.” Blanc said. “Alright. Kero and I will get your rooms ready. I love you two.” Brier said.

“We know. We love you too, Ma.” Rosa said, ending the call.

Brier used her magic to put the communicator away. “Kero, come with me please.” Brier said. “For what, milady?” he asked. 

“We’re going to get Blanc and Rosa’s rooms ready for their arrival.” Brier answered. Kero nodded and proceeded to follow the Titaness to her son and daughter’s rooms. The two first went into Blanc’s room and dusted the pieces of furniture that he had, rearranged his bedsheets, and tidied his bookshelves. After the two finished, they went to Rosa’s room and did the same with her belongings.

“I can’t believe that they’re finally coming back. It’s been ages since the last time I saw them in person.” Brier said. “It feels like it was yesterday when my father came to pick them for their training.” she added, though Blanc was only twelve while Rosa was ten when it happened. "Yes, it does feel like that. I’m sure that Lord Beerus and Whis would agree." Kero agreed. 

“And before you say anything, my lady, I’m not saying that it’s your fault for not telling them right away. I know with how hectic everything’s been, it wasn’t exactly the first thing that came to mind.” Kero said, finished with dusting Rosa’s belongings. 

"I know that, Kero." Brier said as she put away some of her daughter's old toy figurines away. Why Rosa had some of these still in its original packaging, she didn't know. But it didn't really bother her. It was probably a way to protect them from dust particles. 

"By the way, are you alright, my lady? Regarding Son Goku's question, I mean?" Kero asked as he rearranged Rosa's books to be color coded based on the spine. "That?. . .I suppose that I'm fine now. I'll admit it did take me by surprise at first, but I suppose that it does make sense for him to be curious." Brier said, and added, "Although I'm shocked to see that Prince Vegeta didn't tell him since he saw the photo." 

"It's possible that he thought it wasn't his place. That or he didn't care." 

"Probably." 

Both Brier and Kero were finished with their duties, and left Rosa’s room to go back to Whis and Beerus. “By the way Lady Brier, I managed to hear bits and pieces of Lord Beerus and Whis’ conversation earlier, and I was curious about something. What is 'that place' that Lord Beerus mentioned?” Kero asked.

“That? It’s a pocket dimension that Whis has. He would sometimes use it for Beerus’ training as a Destroyer god.” Brier answered. “Apparently it’ll help speed up Son Goku and Prince Vegeta’s training.” “Do you think that they’re finished by now, my lady?” Kero questioned.

“I don’t know. Let’s go find out.” 

When Brier and Kero returned to the area that they remembered the others were at earlier, they found Beerus eating from what appeared to be a flattened disk of bread with a red sauce of sorts, gooey compressed milk curd, and topped with various meats and vegetables. “Beerus, what is that thing you're eating?” Brier asked, pointing to the slice in his hand.

“It’s. . .uh, it appears that I’ve forgotten. Whis, what is this called again?” Beerus questioned, looking at his attendant who was sitting nearby on a tree stump. “It’s called ‘Pizza’, my lord.” Whis told him. “Pizza? That’s a ridiculous name for a food, don’t you think, dear?” Beerus said to his wife. 

“I suppose. But I’ve heard weirder.” Brier said as she and Kero sat down on the ground. Kero turned back into his wolf form and laid near Brier’s legs, making himself comfortable. Beerus noticed this, but decided not to say a word about it. Despite Kero' very close relationship with Brier, the Destroyer wasn’t worried about it at all. He knew that the wolf daemon didn’t see Brier as a romantic prospect. 

Whis cleared his throat, grabbing the attention of Brier and Beerus. “Now that you’ve been fed, my lord, I have to ask you. Do you truly think that it was wise to send them to that realm?” Whis asked. “Relax Whis, they’re fine. Those two are the type of fighters that can only reach their true potential if they’re pushed to their limits. Besides, if we’re doing this, I want it done quickly. So I can have someone to play with.”

.

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Location: Whis' Pocket Dimension. . . .

“Dammit! I can’t move!” Goku exclaimed. He and Vegeta were floating in a bright, opalescent world that didn’t have anything around them (as far as they can see, anyway). Vegeta did all that he could to move, but so far nothing worked. Then, an idea popped into his mind. He closed his eyes and began to raise his energy, but was careful to make sure that it didn’t leak out. Then, the invisible force that held him back disappeared. “I see, so that’s the trick. . .” he mumbled to himself.

“Wait Vegeta! How did you do that?!” Goku yelled. 

“It’s simple; do as I tell you and you’ll be fine.” Vegeta told him. “Just raise your energy levels, but make sure that it doesn’t leak out anywhere, got it Kakarot?” Goku nodded and did as was instructed. And in a matter of seconds, the orange glad Saiyan was able to move around properly. ‘That’s better, although it’s pretty demanding to keep it all inside though.’ ‘Is this the secret to divine energy? The pressure that is inside of me is so intense!’ Goku and Vegeta thought to themselves. 

Vegeta looked up to his companion and asked, “Kakarot! Doesn’t this place remind you of somewhere?” Goku took a second to think about what Vegeta meant, and then replied with, “Oh yeah! The way the air feels is definitely ringing a bell! It’s weird and humid. . .it’s just like the Hyperbolic Time Chamber!” 

“Oh man I can’t believe it, this is the ultimate training space! This must be where Lord Beerus goes to get stronger too! Hey Vegeta, do you think that Whis trains Lady Brier on how to fight as well?” Goku added. “I don’t know. Why do you care?” Vegeta questioned. “Well, I mean, it would make sense that she knew how to fight, right? Even though I’m pretty sure that Beerus is almost always by her side and protects her from harm, she should know how to defend herself if she needed to, don’t you think?” 

“I guess that would make sense, but in case you’ve forgotten, Lady Brier is a goddess, and has access to all different kinds of magical spells. Heck, I’m sure that if someone were to attempt to try something with her, she would turn them into a toad or a mere insect if she wanted.” Vegeta said. 

“Oh yeah, I guess you’re right about that.” Goku responded. 

“Of course I am." 

". . .Hey Vegeta?" 

"What?" 

"Do you think that Brier misses. . . .her kids' birth father? She seemed really sad when talking about him." 

Vegeta didn't really think that gods would care about matters such as this if it was just something that happened as a result of what would be called "the pleasures of the flesh", but then again, the way Brier worded it, it was possible that she was In a more traditionally romantic relationship. And while she seemed to be happy with Beerus, it was clear that whoever her old love was still had a special place in her heart. 

"Well. . .I suppose that it's possible that-" “Wait! I just realized something!” Goku interrupted. Normally Vegeta wouldn’t like it if someone were to interrupt him when speaking, but he decided to let it slide for now. “What is it, Kakarot?” “If it’s like the Chamber, then it must be a different dimension, so I don’t think there’s an exit. We’ve got to find the supply building, or wherever Beerus keeps his food in here before we’re too drained to move. Or starve to death, which is kind of a problem.” Goku revealed.

“Of course it’s a problem, you moron! It might be another way he’s testing us! And the only thing that might help us is that staff.” Vegeta said. ‘Huh? Staff?. . .’ Goku wondered. He noticed Vegeta staring at a gleaming object that wasn’t too far away from them. It looked like an exact replica of Whis’ staff. ‘Oh, that’s what he meant.’  The two Saiyans then used all their might to move to the staff. 

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Location: Beerus' Planet. . . .

Brier and Whis looked into a bowl of water that Kero brought to see Goku and Vegeta sparring against one another. Since it was an ordinary bowl of water, Brier had to use a spell that allowed her to check on the two Saiyans. “See, I told you two that they’d be fine.” Whis said. “I can see that now. I apologize for doubting you, Whis." Brier replied.  "Whis, bring me more of that pizza stuff!” Beerus yelled out, causing Brier and Whis to look at the Destroyer. “I’m sorry, my lord. But that was all that I had on hand.” Whis said. “Then just use your staff to summon more.” Beerus said. “I’d like to remind you, my lord, that you were the one who wanted me to send Goku and Vegeta to that realm for training purposes. And I couldn’t do that without sending my staff there as well. Have you really forgotten how it works?” Whis told the Destroyer.

“Of course I didn’t forget. Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.” Beerus said, and added, “But if I order you to bring more pizza, then bring me more pizza. Whatever it takes!” Beerus commanded.

“Beerus. . .”

“It’s fine, milady. I don’t mind.” Whis said, using his power to bring both the Saiyans and his staff back to him. This caused Goku and Vegeta, who were still sparring against one another, to fall to the ground. “Hey! What’d you do that for?! You messed up our rhythm!” Goku exclaimed. Whis, however, didn’t give him an answer

“Well, it looks like training there paid off. Guess it wasn’t a total waste.” Beerus said. Brier noticed the damage to both the Saiyans bodies, and as they were catching their breath, she snapped her finger on her right hand to heal their bodies with her power. “There you go. I hope you two feel better now.” she told them both. 

Whis got closer to Brier and whispered, “You know, I could have easily done that myself.” “Yes I know. But you didn’t have to.” Brier whispered back. She looked back at Goku and Vegeta and asked, “Now that you boys are back from training, is there something that you two need? Snacks? Refreshments perhaps? I hope you boys aren’t hungry.” ‘She acts like a mom. . .’ Goku and Vegeta both thought, slightly amused.

Quickly remembering what happened earlier, Goku quickly got to Brier and said, "H-Hey Lady Brier, I just wanted to apologize." "Oh? What for?" she asked. "For. . .asking you about. . .you know." the Saiyan responded. "Oh. That." "I didn't mean to upset you. I just-" 

"It's fine, Son Goku. There's no need to worry." Brier told him. This made Goku perk up a little. "Really?" Brier nodded her head with a small smile. "Besides, if I was upset with you, I wouldn't have bothered with healing you. Now, is there anything else you two need?"

“Oh, that’s ok. Vegeta and I are fine.” Goku told her. “Although thanks for offering.” he added. “Really? I thought Saiyans worked up a big appetite after sparring. Are you sure that you don’t want me to bring you anything?” Brier questioned. “We’re fine, Lady Brier. Kakarot and I found some food in that realm to keep us from going hungry.” Vegeta told her. Both Beerus and Brier were surprised at this.

There’s no trees or plants there that bear food, so what in Zeno’s name did they eat?

Brier then remembered that sometimes, Whis would store food in that realm for her husband when he got a bit peckish (which happened often). 

“Whis, can you bring out those containers?” Brier asked. “Containers? Oh, you mean the pizza boxes, milady?” Whis questioned. “Yes yes, those.” Whis nodded and then used his staff to bring forth the yellow and white pizza boxes. Brier caught one of the boxes and was quick to notice how light it was. She opened it to see that there was nothing in it. Not even a half-eaten piece of crust. “Whis, are the rest of them empty?” Brier asked. 

“Yes, it appears so.” 

Brier looked back at Goku and Vegeta, and asked, “So, this is what you two ate while you were over there?” “Yeah, you see, we were panicking for a while about food. But when we needed them, they popped right out! I hope that’s ok, ’cause we really thought that we were gonna die.” Goku said with his usual smile. Unfortunately, Beerus didn’t seem fine with it. In fact, he was quite infuriated. “Are you mortals. . .really telling me that you ate all of my deliciously cheesy pizza?” he snarled.

“!”

Brier walked to Goku and Vegeta’s side and said, “I suggest that the two of you start running.” Beerus then got up from his seat and made a mad dash to the two Saiyans. Fearing his wrath, Goku and Vegeta did what Brier suggested, and ran straight towards a nearby forest. 

“YOU’LL BOTH PAY FOR THIS!!!” Beerus shouted as he chased them. From what Brier and Whis could see, giant dust clouds appeared from within the forest, possibly Beerus shooting energy blasts at the two Saiyans, with Goku and Vegeta dodging the blasts as they ran. “YOU COULDN’T SAVE ME ANY?! NOT A SINGLE SLICE?!” the Destroyer bellowed. “WE HAD NO CHOICE! IT WAS ALL WE HAD!” Goku shouted. “BESIDES, IT WAS YOUR ASS THAT TRAPPED US THERE!!” Vegeta also shouted.

'His ass?. . .’ both Brier and Whis thought. What a weird thing to say to someone. 

“MY ASS?! YOU DARE SPEAK OF A DESTROYER’S ASS?!” Beerus bellowed. 

“I swear, those three act like children. . .sometimes I feel like you, me, and Kero are the only adults around here.” Whis muttered, causing Brier to smile. Kero, back in his human-like form, walked up behind the two deities, carrying a silver tray filled with various sweet treats and mini sandwiches in his clawed hands. “Lady Brier, I have brought some more-what is going on?!” Kero asked, noticing what was happening in the forest.

“It’s nothing to worry about.” both Whis and Brier said simultaneously. “A certain someone is having a little tantrum.” Brier added. “I see. . .well, I’ll just put this away.” Kero mumbled, placing the silver tray on a nearby tree stump.

“Do you two know when they’ll stop?” Kero asked, now watching alongside them. “No. Honestly, it could go on for a while.” Whis answered. 

After a couple of minutes passed, Whis, Brier, and Kero heard footsteps approaching them, and turned their heads to see Goku, Vegeta, and Beerus returning from the forest, two of them panting fiercely.

“Do you feel better now that you let all that out? My poor boy.” Brier asked, teasing Beerus. “. . .yes.” Beerus replied as he walked towards his wife and wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her body closer to his. Goku and Vegeta were both shocked by this sudden act of affection. But both decided to say nothing, fearing how Beerus would react if they commented on it.

Brier then saw something flying in the sky, leaving a trail of glittering light behind it. The others noticed this, and looked to see what caught her attention. “What is that? A shooting star?” Goku asked. “That’s impossible. Shooting stars only come out at night.” Vegeta said.

"That's not a shooting star." Whis told them. "It's something completely different."

Before Goku or Vegeta could ask, the glowing light flew towards Brier and gently landed in her outstretched left hand. It was a small red stone, similar to the one that Whis gifted Bulma. “Odd. Who’s attempting to summon me?” Brier wondered aloud. “I don’t recall giving out a Communication Stone to anyone recently.” “My lady, don’t you remember when you asked me to give Bulma one for you?” Whis whispered into her ear.

“Oh you’re right! Although I hope she’s not using it to ask us to come for lunch. Those stones are strictly for emergencies only.” The men around her watched as Brier placed the stone on the ground and shout out: 

“Planet Earth, I accept this message!”

A bright flash of light appeared, nearly blinding Goku and Vegeta. When they opened their eyes, they saw a holographic version of Bulma who, surprisingly, was holding a large sundae glass filled with pink colored ice cream topped with whipped cream, strawberries, and, of course, red strawberry syrup. “Brier! Thank goodness you accepted! Is Whis there with you?” Bulma questioned. “Yes. . .but why do you-” “Whis! I have a super deluxe strawberry sundae, if you want it you and the others better get down here!” Bulma interrupted.

“A super deluxe strawberry sundae?!” Whis exclaimed. “Oh my! That sounds absolutely delectable, and the colors are positively divine!” “Really? Let me see.” Beerus said, looking over his wife’s shoulder to get a better look. “It does look nice. I’d like to know what that tastes like.” Beerus said, licking his lips. 

‘That’s it? That’s the reason she called?. . .’ Brier thought. “Is that all that you have to. . .” Brier didn’t finish her sentence as she got a better look at the human woman’s face. She seemed to be very stressed about something. Brier leaned to Whis and asked, “Whis, did you notice Ms Bulma’s face?” “Yes, I did. She looks very distressed.” the angel replied. Brier then looked back at the human woman and asked, “Ms Bulma is everything alright?” 

“No, everything’s not alright! I need you to get Goku and Vegeta home this instant!” Bulma exclaimed. “Hey, watch your tone, woman.” Beerus muttered, which Brier heard. “Beerus, not now.” she told him. “Is there a particular reason why?” Brier asked Bulma. “Yes! That scumbag Frieza has come back to life somehow, and I’m looking at him right now! He’s brought a whole army with him and we’re in serious trouble!”

——————————————————————————

AN: Woooo! We're almost at the end!

[lewisibarra1512]

My (highly successful) summer vacation rundown

After almost a week long summer vacation away from work, I've managed to snap a variety of photos that caught me by surprise. My first stop? Las Vegas.

Day 1: Bass Pro Shop and the Mermaid's Aquarium

I visited the Bass Pro Shop where they had an entry to a next-door casino with a miniature aquarium. And who was swimming with the fishes? A mermaid. I don't have any grudge towards mermaids, so I'll gladly accept it. Unless they offer free hugs and a safety umbrella to keep themselves safe from the hot weather, that's fine.

It's too bad I didn't find a pufferfish inside the aquarium, but this manta ray is a fascinating sight to behold. I mean, who doesn't love a good manta ray? And as for that pufferfish remark... well, it's actually obvious: they're big animal guy worthy.

I personally have no idea who or what brought the giraffe inside the Bass Pro Shop, but I guess it's acceptable. If he were to eat some french fries, burgers and milkshakes, he'd be a stud muffin. Unlike the one who went full irrelevant at a fish tank before he got busted.

And if that's not important, maybe this M&M's milkshake would do the trick just that! I headed to South Point, the name of a casino and hotel resort, by visiting Steak & Shake where it was home to big burgers. Thank goodness they serve forks and knives so I don't have to deal with what's going on about diner burgers getting ridiculously big. Oh, whoops. Pretend you didn't hear that...

Across the arcade section next to the bowling alley and Century Cinemas, I spotted an arcade game called Dinosaur Era. I've managed to get a good shot of a few dinos present, and I gotta say: I was a sucker for big beefy dino boys. Yes, they're like big animal guys but focusing on something way stronger to beat those meteorites.

Day 2: Birthday shopping at an alien's favorite place!

Just an hour and a half away from South Point, I traveled to the Area 51 Alien Centre for a quick birthday shopping spree. I couldn't find an alien themed biscuit jar but I did get some new large size alien slippers for my own birthday present. Won't be showing them to you until December, so be patient.

Once I made it back to Vegas, I then visited a place called the Arte Museum where it's an immersive media art exhibition space that lets guests experience all sorts of realistic art and visuals crammed together. I was lucky enough to find a beach room with an aurora borealis called Beach Aurora, so I imagined myself raising one hand to touch the latter. Nah, don't worry; I didn't get wet in there.

Well, looks like my wish came true. I called a giraffe a big animal guy, and he seems to enjoy my taste of him. It's probably because he must have followed me to the Arte Musuem. Where's my burger, fries and shake at? I hope he gets hungry so he can be big and tough like a speeding truck.

Day 3: Quick Christmas shopping and a real Asian cuisine

While I resumed my Christmas shopping experience for one of my uncles with a slot machine piggy bank, I spotted this bad boy.

Four years ago when Sword and Shield quickly became the moment I quit the Pokémon community forever, I started to slowly develop my love for aliens. And this slot machine piggy bank that featured aliens, UFO's and a planet Moon took the cake. Is it safe to call it chocolate cake?

I ended my trip to Vegas with Two Hands' world famous Potato Corn Dog, a side of Kimchi fries and a medium soft drink. Hey; I've already done original and Carbonara Buldak. Why not expand it to something else that makes me wanna quote something from a 1965 film?

Day 4: To Citywalk and the pond!

Once I was finished with Vegas, I made my way down to the Alien Fresh Jerky store in Baker, CA to get a quick glimpse on a couple photos: one was some type of a spaceship piloted by two aliens, and the other is a security car or some sort. They're just for show; nothing too scary around.

After a three hour drive while taking some Dramamine to repel motion sickness, I made it to Universal CityWalk to continue my Christmas shopping at the Studio Store. This time, I spotted a hilarious Despicable Me 4 standee where I also imagined myself being freaked out about Mel attempting to shoot a laser out of his eye. Thankfully, Dave got me out of this mess while Gus had trouble flying with the cape nailed to the ground(?) and Jerry coming out. Wasn't hurt, but I sure can't wait to spite on some rat when I see it in cinemas!

Right before I had the urge to get a Studio Tram themed popcorn bucket as a Christmas gift for my aunt, I took a pic of this entrance spot for Universal UNIVRS and imagined what would have happened if Stickybutter doesn't move out of the way or poor Woody Woodpecker will run over him. [Just kidding; this was all just a decoration.]

And while the rat and the bunny are facing numerous controversies surrounding their mishandled business decisions, Stickybutter approves Universal of reviving their mascot Woody back to his rightful place. I'm thankful I got to livestream all 53 episodes in almost two months before I transitioned to the next IP. And in case you're wondering about the whole Studio Tram themed popcorn bucket, it's on the bottom left corner. It's limited edition, so you've got until 11 August to buy it or it's gone!

Finally, I came to my last stop: Requiem Cafe in Anaheim, CA. They've collaborated with Yacht Club Games Co. Ltd. for a special Shovel Knight 10th anniversary event revolving game inspired food and drink. The latter was kind enough of giving them these standees representing Shovel Knight, Shield Knight, Plague Knight and Mona. And just to quench my thirst against the ongoing excessive heat warning...

The Ichor of Boldness! It's sparkling blueberry apple lemonade soda flavor made by the first indie character to be a big animal guy, the Troupple King. Isn't he sweet?

Now of course, I did do some things outside of photos such as partaking in the MJ ONE performance by Cirque du Soleil and MJJ Productions; watched the Fall Guy in cinemas at Las Vegas for the first time and visited the Irvine Spectrum Centre just for more demo drawings at the Apple Store. I eventually stayed at Best Western for one night before heading back home the next morning.

Good thing I've been able to get a few things that's part of my birthday / Christmas shopping, even though it was too early. But it's not over yet! I've got plenty of more to look.

[drippingviolets3]

I don’t know what kind of sleep deprivation drugs were created in my brain for this idea to spawn but do you guys know what would be the best and worst fucking crossover ever?

HxH and MHA.

Let me explain

Like, we got MHA and the chaos surrounding it’s world where you can be born with either the power of god or a lego head, or just not have a power at all and be part of the minority that gets their shit destroyed on a daily basis to fight the crazy bitches with powers.

And then we have HxH which has nen and can allow you to lean how do to all sorts of freaky shit like kill a fucking alien cat with a game of Rock Paper Scissors, magical beasts, confirmed countries, regions, creatures, ruins, AND treasure that are confirmed to be out there because the world hasn’t been fully explored, AND the anime equivalent of the 2020 election.

The world would be fucked.

Izuku would be teaching Gon to risk his fucking limbs

Killua and Bakugo enter a room and only Killua leaves (you can not convince me that Killua would NOT fold Bakugo like a beach chair)

And then we got the MHA girls meeting the HxH girls and everyone is comparing them and are like “Hmm….something is different about them…but what?” (The answer is that HxH can actually write decent female characters 💀).

Boss bitches Bisky and Machi meet Uraraka and start talking and Uraraka says “I’m gonna be a hero to get money for my parents!” And they’re like “aight, sounds cool”

But then Uraraka’s flashbacks and motivation only shows Izuku and suddenly Beefy Bisky has to make an entrance to knock some sense into the girl because that was NOT what she said her motivation was.

FUCK IMAGINE A ALLIANCE BETWEEN THE LOV AND CHIMERA ANTS THE WORLD WOULD BE FUCKED DEPENDING ON WHICH ARC WE’RE TALKING ABOUT IN REGARDS TO THE LOV-

Aizawa meets the main four and Alluka and just sighs while handing out adoption papers 💀💀💀

This cross over is so stupid I need to see someone write/draw for it or I’ll do it myself 😭

[nullset2]

On Diversity in the Tech Industry

"Write every day", lest the thoughts consume you. When you write, you think. Even more: when you write, you're actually doing it to organize your mental cabinet, rather than for the benefit of other people (even though people will be reassured that they're on the right path once they find your footsteps on their journey). "Writing = thinking", my previous employer used to say all the time, which is a principle that I incredibly value even though there are a lot of other things about their culture that I don't appreciate.

Let me preface this by saying that the matter of diversity is an issue at large in the tech industry, and not something specific to any particular company or segment in it, and it's something that I think people are honestly, earnestly doing their best about, and there's a lot of people that I'm infinitely indebted to, powerful mentors in my way who have made me a better person. Even though sometimes the path to hell is paved with good intentions, I still abide by this paragraph. By and large, the industry is comprised of just good guys and gals and non-binary pals, you know what I mean?

However, we live in incredibly bizarre times, and sometimes it gets the best of me and that's why I want to jot these things down.

The prevalence of technology and the quasi-autistic state of alienation it fosters is leading to this state of being where the Other is eradicated and the Self is regarded as the All there is to be.

How does this fit with the tech industry? Well, the spiel paraded by the activists in the regard of Diversity claims that "races and profiles have been systematically excluded off of certain echelons of society" like the tech industry. Thus, there's a mechanic of oppresion moving the threads of society like its puppetmaster, there's a glaring generational debt which should be reparated back as soon and as efficiently as possible, and therefore, affirmative action should be taken to get those profiles back into the tech industry. Affirmative action is, basically, to take it easy on the, supposedly oppressed types (it already feels horribly demeaning to me to write this) and to provide them with positive affirmations and validations. Thus, quotas of intersectional profiles, based off of criteria like race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, et. al., should be rigurously applied to hiring, delegation, assignment of responsibilities and formation of teams.

(Another disclaimer before we go on: there's a kernel of truth in this. Imagine that you were designing a website for a Muslim locale, and, lacking knowledge of the sensitivities there, you decided to put a picture of a big, fat, beefy burger with strips of chunky, crispy bacon on it. Egad, pork meat is haram there, but you never knew. If you had a muslim colleague, however, that kind of stuff would had popped up earlier. It does help to have multiple life experiences and sensitivities in your team in ways more succint than we realize. I am convinced of this being true.)

Now, carrying on, the problem is that, on paper, of course it's true. Everybody knows it to be true. That which fits the collective-unconscious pre-conception of a techie is good, and that which doesn't is to be eradicated and this has a racial skew. Work, dating, neighborhoods, HOAs, relationships... everything in the modern world is subjected to one or many heavy biases. I'm writing this essay in English for goodness' sake. The die have already been thrown centuries ago. The hands have been dealt and we're sort of trying to pull forward as-is, awkwardly as it is. The tech industry is vastly, grossly majoritarily Caucasian and Asian (and by this I also mean Indian), and those profiles form a techno-elite caste that mostly exclusively hangs out and disseminates information among itself. This technoelite caste is fast-tracked into colleges where there's literally classes where they teach them the very same problems that they get in technical interviews, which they get to learn and rehearse at leisure, ergo fastracking them into the industry too.

Now, the naive explanation to this would be to assume that the reason why this happens is merely racial, which is what those types posit, but I actually think that's a lie. Every good lie is partially true though. To assume that it is only racial disregards the matter of competence.

"Affirmative Action" or "Positive Discrimination" as I've heard it called, is the proposed solution to this problem. "So, there is a very obvious skew in the population --thus, what we're going to do is that we're going to strongly encourage you to hire and integrate people into the industry who don't fit this standard.". It's weird because in a way it feels as if the answer to racism is more racism, but I see what they're going for --a fair shot across the board. But when that fair shot seems to be predicated on you being given a crutch because apparently you have a historical handicap because of who you are... well, you can probably infer how that feels.

Yes, my parents got fucked by the machine, I lost a lot of prospects in my earlier life, and I was sort of assumed to be a loser, my parents giving up any hope for me after I failed to breed around 18 years of age. They sort of... never actually understood what I was up to, and they left me to my devices to commune with the 2001 space oddysey monolith. Everyone else also did. My high school friends sort of thought that I was some weirdo loser that was damned to irrelevancy, and when I developed techincal skills and I managed to come up in the world, everyone did a 180 on me and went "holy shit", and either started asking me for money, or cut off contact out of the shame they felt that someone like me was doing like I was (to this day, this process of alienation from my original kin continues to happen btw).

And all of that is because, again, of all of these preconceptions and mechanisms in place --so the Diversity argument does hold up again. I am not saying that the Diversity spiel is wrong. But the problem is that, again, every good lie is partially true. To be prioritized as a profile feels as demeaning as to be actually discriminated against on the same basis (to me, at least. I guess a lot of people are happy in their stations as long as they have a weekly pizza and Netflix to amuse themselves to death, but I personally go insane if I cannot produce anything new). It discounts my competence, right? It's a catch-22. Fucked if I do or if I don't. If I take the step and try to play in the big leagues, people are going to take the piss because I don't talk in Californian Fry and use the same dogwhistles that the techies use among themselves, but if I don't, then I get to stay in a ghetto and make nothing of my life.

I argue, my friends, that whoever is most competent rises in the hierarchy. As corrupt and dirty the hierarchy can be sometimes, this principle is something that I know to be true, and It's been taught to me by the power of the black star, and I feel it in my very bones, in my very marrow. But the problem is, if you come from a fucked up world, how can you effectively develop competence if everyone around you is constantly assuming that you're a loser? It's just horrid. It takes a ridiculous, massive, insane amount of effort that most people are not willing to undertake. I know I suck. I am not really anything when compared to the most competent people in the industry (you know who you are: if you're reading this, I'm sorry that things didn't work out, but maybe in better circumstances we'll do alright).

I fumble my way through things. Yet, I still get things right sometimes.

On a personal level, also: what happens when you decide to go for it, then, and break away from the expectation of your caste and class? It isolates you. It alienates you. It takes you away from your hive, like a bee, and made to wander. When a bee is taken away from its hive (I've been thinking a lot about bee symbolism lately), it will try to find and join other hives, if it can find any before it dies. It is literally a matter of chemistry at that point: if the bee has a compatible chemical signature, it will be accepted and taken in; if not, it will be expunged by the female bees of the hive. The hivemind is a powerful force.

It's even worse when half of the populace out there thinks you're part of a ploy to change the demographic distribution in a negative way, and thus you must be eradicated as soon as possible, but I am not going to go there right now. I'm just going to mention that some neighbors were very happy when a tree fell on my home a bit over a year ago.

What to do at this point? My friends, the answer resides in the Jungian archetype of the Fool. Even though some people would argue that the appereance of the Fool is a sign of the erosion of our societal bonds, the Universe has a soft spot for fools. Sometimes you have to do the most stupid fucking bullshit you can think of. A man has to be a bit stupid sometimes. Be a troublemaker. Be shameless. Dare. Of course, don't be an asshole, but put energy into it. Step into the abyss even if you get fucked by it --because that's where the great things happen. These days, sometimes I do things that I'm not even aware of, which make other people mad. I'm literally oblivious to them. All of a sudden, people react to them and they hurt me, projecting their shadows.

A friend (the only senior Mexican engineer I ever found at my previous employer, who was in a team where I actually performed pretty well once I had the advantage of, egad, lo and behold!, an actual mentor, mind you) told me once "well, at some point you just got to steal it", and then he grabbed an implementation of something off of github, and that's when it hit me. This is the archetype of the fool at play.

Still disgruntled by the whole affirmative action thing and the idea that the best way to integrate me into the industry is to give me a kindergarten gold star and a Chipotle gift card (... though I sure could go for some fucking Chipotle right now because I'm very hungry) every time I post a PR, I also have to offer that the only way forward is through, and that through is going to hurt. At some point, it's all become a function of sacrifice. You literally are going to have to burn the midnight oil many, many, many, many years, and you're going to get fucked by alarms at some point, and you're going to have to work out like mad and you're going to walk around with sore muscles every day. You're going to have to see many people rolling their eyes at you. You're going to have to put up with being laughed at.

Again, it's the appereance of the archetype of the fool.

Parentheses: I've found that being in good physical shape and literal fucking muscle memory and rote memorization (kata-style repetition of phrases) is actually better for developing skills in tech than actually having a degree from some 30 grand a semester school, so it literally means that you need to lock yourself in a house in the forest for three years and attend to a boxing gym like mad if you want to break through the current insane state of things.

At some point, I realized that no matter how much fucking adderall I'd take or how much I did, or how many hours I put at Amazon, I'd still be getting laughed at and punked on and tortured at the end of the day, and my friends, that's when the archetype of the fool, chthonically, rose from the depths of my soul, and it made me turn into something else. I sort of realized that if what I did didn't truly matter and people were going to throw shit at me no matter what, then I was truly free to pursue what I wanted. It unleashed this roaring energy that powers everything I do now.

It renders you alone, too, but (not being melodramatic here) at some point you sort of Accept your loneliness (not making it about me here, but you do really sort of Accept it). There's a part of me that thinks that this whole fetishism of the rugged individualist life that we're currently undergoing is vicious, sick and depraved, but it does feel better than the contrary. It still makes me unhappy, but the mature kind of unhappy, you know? Like there's an inner angel that sees everything through the eyes of the Logos, of eternity, inside me, and he's in command.

I've been reading "The Labyrinth of Solitude" by Octavio Paz and it's fantastic how he gets it all down perfectly. The Mexican is de-facto schizoid, an in-between worlds, a pariah that has to stick together to survive, a race whose divine Mother has abandoned it. It's better to be alone than to be in the company of Jezebels and Nimrods anyway. And things do actually change at some point. Nothing ever stays the same, you know, and there's a lot of people who really do care about you and who are fun to be around out there for you (as trite and platitudical as this sounds).

In the meantime: keep doing stupid shit. You'll be amazed at the results one day. Things are not going to change at large. Just do the most with the hands you've been given.

[devirtute]

often times, teddy didn't know when tommy was joking or when he actually meant something. the whole conversation about him looking at his ass more than his boyfriend's was a prime example of that. plus, he couldn't admit to anything out loud, could he? "in your dreams. the only name that's coming out of my mouth when i cum is billy. he's the one that knows how to fully take care of me and the one that i love." it was like he was trying to defend his relationship or attraction to the other's twin brother. teddy crossed his muscular arms over his big chest, just standing there for now and not wanting to move too much anymore. "you act like being loyal is such a bad thing. once you settle down, i'm sure you're going to want someone just as loyal." the couple did have that stint where billy wondered if his magic caused all of this, kept the alien hybrid happy. right in that moment, he sadly didn't think that he could answer the question. this started off as a simple workout session, but it wasn't that anymore. "aren't you working out to get beefy? i'm sure you're going to be right up his alley. poor david, i wonder if he knows you think he's such a stick in the mud." he remembered that kiss that he shared with the other man. it seemed like everyone on the team was coming onto him one way or another. "not that i think you want to know how your brother s in the bedroom, but he has a whole arsenal of magic that he could use with the wave of his hand." still, his thoughts did wander at times. he let tommy feel him up, figuring that was a regular part of the whole gym buddy thing. "i was, so i didn't need any help before." this time it was his turn to be smug. "again, it is being properly used. trust me."

tommy could feel the alien hybrid's eyes on him almost all the time. he wasn't sure he could put into words the sensation he felt. maybe it was delusion, but tommy was convinced that teddy was just aching to finally fuck him into place. "he doesn't need me to tell him. he definitely notices! bet you've beat off to my ass too! maybe even let my name slip out of your mouth right before you cum," tommy explained with a shrug and a smirk. tommy knew he was crossing a line, ultimately. he couldn't stand to lose his brother after just getting him back in his life. but somehow that didn't outweigh his desperation for his brother's boyfriend's attention. "don't suppose you'd be in that line, though, would you? you're too busy being billy's little loyal puppy," tommy antagonized with a chuckle. everyone craved a partner like teddy - but there was no way billy was giving the man what he needed in return. "noh likes fucking beefier guys than me, i think. and teacher/student? knowing david, he'd bore me with the history of male on male intercourse. total vibe killer," tommy explained, just further hinting that teddy was the one he really needed. "but i bet your sex with my brother is pretty vanilla too, huh? billy can't vibrate like me. or heal as fast. probably don't have anywhere near my stamina. he's also not a complete cockslut like me, but that's a whole other story..." tommy continued with a shrug. "i'd never be intentionally mean to you, big guy," he grinned, his hands traveling up to teddy's broad muscular shoulders, massaging them. "maybe. it seems like you were well endowed, naturally though," tommy said, referencing what appeared to be teddy's growing cock in his pants. "the only thing unfair about that is it's not being used properly."