#where Nikki seems to be like 'maybe we will make it maybe we won't who knows what'll happen?'

[nikkiruncks]

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” ― Judy Garland

[centrally-unplanned]

In my previous post around "ignoring election victories as events-in-themselves" we were memeing about it being a subtweet of Richard Hanania, but as I mentioned at the end it really isn't. And for a bonus reason, he doesn't make that mistake! He has a very explicit theory about "why Trump winning itself won't change the party":

This is an argument, fair enough! But I think it is a pretty bad one. The intellectual journey for this is, imo, the way that Trump beat all of his challengers in the post-2024 environment. People seemed to copy his playbook, he had halfheartedly launched a failed coup, and yet none of it was enough to beat him. It made a lot of people think, "oh, this guy is magic. No one can replace Trump"

The key weakness of this reason is that, yeah, no one can replace Trump - because Trump still exists? He was president. And he is still running for office! That is, in fact, quite normal for how loyal followers work. For them nothing has changed, why would they change? Trump's coalition is definitely not as bright as Obama's coalition so he gets a more extreme version of it, but Obama is still getting glowing reviews and polls well almost a decade out from his presidency era from typical voters. People are naturally sticky this way, it is how we work.

There certainly is more to it - Trump's 2020 lie definitely gave him a sort of narrative throughput to justify extended support for example - but you really don't need more, because this factor goes away when Trump dies. Which he will, pretty soon. And meanwhile what Trump's core wants is probably not going to go away (particularly because it is pretty incoherent). The idea that they will simply be incapable of elevating someone else to the same position is extreme Great Man Theory Brain.

A lot of this buys into this notion of 4D Chess Mastermind Trump but for political charisma, but that is silly. He is a perfectly talented politician in some respects, a charismatic guy, don't get me wrong. But he isn't like a savant; he constantly does weird, alienating shit, and is much worse this campaign as his age is showing. There just isn't any big mystery to why he succeeded (beyond the inherent mysteries of all causation): he was famous and also very committed to being a big liar who gunned for the obvious Republican weaknesses. He was happy telling a motivated base he truly understood their nativist impulses, while promising mainstream Republicans normality and his commitment to things like abortion. Shockingly few Republicans were actually willing to just Come Out And Say It like he did - like really, you can find barely anyone in 2016 who does it.

And meanwhile, Trump is not a popular politician! He isn't at 50/50 because he ran a good campaign, he ran an awful campaign. He is just up against an incredibly unpopular incumbent in a world where incumbents in every country are losing every election. Nikki Haley would have easily done better. A big part of Trump's hand-picked down-ballot candidates doing badly is that he just chose fucking awful ones because he is a dumbass. They weren't awful because they were radicals; they were bad politicians, with ludicrous weaknesses and poor skillsets. What "magic" is there to capture here? The next leading Republican politician will likely do much better than him, unburdened by all his terrible baggage and off-putting behavior.

A next leader who will be leading a party that has now been shaped and molded into one far more comfortable with authoritarianism as a solution to policy gridlock. Maybe they won't value that! Fair, I think that is possible, and even likely. Most people are just generally decent people, and voters generally find this brand off-putting. But saying that it can't happen is complete folly. And we have a laundry list of leading Republicans who have openly embraced election denial to juice those odds, and voters who love to punish incumbents for this-or-that problem of the day.

IMO this is cope, building up Trump to be something far more special than he is. Voters just like authoritarian policies sometimes, and courting that isn't magic. It alas be that way.

[wishbonegame]

Hi I have more misc questions:

Who are your favorite characters?

How many quests are in the game? Can you get to them all in one playthrough, or do you have to do multiple playthroughs?

What's Nikki's favorite dog breed?

What is the name of Tobias' cat?

Has Tobias always been this cranky?

And finally: how are all the adult characters so attractive??

Ooh, these are some fun ones!

Regarding favorites: It's honestly hard to say what my own favorite is at this point! I've been working on the game so long that my interest has cooled somewhat on some of my original favorites, and some characters who I had initially conceived of as "just filling an NPC role" wound up being a lot more fun than expected.

Sheriff Pilgrim was my original favorite (especially when he's interacting with Jack!) and I do still enjoy him, but I've found I enjoy writing for Sonny and Vincent quite a bit, too. Mike is also fun... and Morgan... and a bunch of others, depending on what mood I'm in. Our main writer @kwillow enjoys Mayor North and Em.

One of the nice things about Wishbone is that we have a similar writing approach to Bioware RPGs, where each character is somebody's baby. To make writing practical, we do have to write for whatever character needs writing for sometimes, but we do also have someone who's sort of the "captain" of each character (or at least major characters).

Regarding quests: The final quest count won't be known until later in development, but I've "stubbed out" quest log code for all planned quests so far, and the end of the quest log looks like this:

There are roughly 40 quests of various types fully implemented right now, so a bit less than half of planned quests have been implemented! That 109 number covers all the character quests, story quests, and other major quests, but I might add a few very small quests to add interest to slower portions of the game. It'll depend on how playtesting goes!

You won't be able to do every quest in a single playthrough because the story does split into Outlaw path and Lawful path eventually. Once you've made certain pivotal story choices, some characters will consider you to be on the enemy team and will no longer be willing to trust you (or, possibly, even talk to you at all!), and some story moments will force you to pick one of two characters to work with.

So you'll need a minimum of two playthroughs to do everything! Certain quests might also have more than one ending, depending on how you solve the task and who you work with. The game might not be as branchy as Fallout New Vegas or Baldur's Gate 3, but it is pretty dense!

Regarding Nikki's dog opinions:

She likes all dogs, really! She can go on at length about the pros and cons and various uses and quirks of any breed. She also thinks mutts are interesting. But she is most interested in "wilder" looking breeds, like her cattledog, Sirius!

Regarding Tobias's cat:

His name is Mr. Grumpus. Like his owner, he has permanent Resting Surly Cowboy face. He can often be found sleeping on the counter in the general store or wandering around town, though most townspeople know better than to bug him. He's not the friendliest to strangers!

Regarding Tobias's crankiness: He was always serious and standoffish and never the most popular or sociable person. However, it seems that he's gotten more sullen and gloomy since his mother's health started declining and he had to take over managing his family's general store. Being a cashier isn't really the life he dreamed of, and the stress of his family situation is getting to him. But maybe there's hope for things to improve...?

Regarding the characters being attractive: Ah, I'm glad you like 'em! I (and everyone else working on the project) love to design eccentrics and oddballs. I worry sometimes that we've gone too far catering to our own interests, rather than making something a wider audience would enjoy, so it's great to hear that they have appeal beyond our little niche! They're certainly not your typical "romanceable NPC" lineup, but we do hope that they find their target audience of people who want something more unconventional. :)

[solaria222]

P I C K A C A R D

w h a t y o u n e e d

t o f o c u s o n

this is a timeless tarot reading, it can still be applicable to you regardless of when you see it. take a deep breath and ask yourself "what do i need to focus on right now?" and see which pile you are most drawn to.

P I L E 1 ||

(the video game controller)

Hi, pile 1 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)! currently you seem very focused on yourself. your energy is like that quote, "work in silence and let your success be the noise". you've been very low-key lately. in a no-nonsense mood. you may have done some things in the past that made you worry about your decisions, you're trying to not make any mistakes. you should focus on getting your stuff together. try to relax, don't focus on all this worry you have. if you're moving to a new house, or getting a new job then focus on that as well. be patient and optimistic with your progress. don't be so hard on yourself. please clean your room. don't focus on what's lost. exciting things will unfold for you, pile one!

extras

self worth

the only one who gets to decide your worth is you. it doesn't come from your bank account or the number of friends you have. it doesn't come from what someone else says you are worth. it's called self-worth for a reason - it comes from being you. it comes from being yourself and being proud of who you are. it comes from being someone that you can count on and someone you love. the numbers will change with time, but what won't change is who you are deep inside - beautiful / handsome, limitless, wonderful, creative, strong, capable - and that is where your worth comes from.

(-nikki banas)

growth

everything will work out exactly how and when it's supposed to, regardless of how and when you may want it to. let your faith in the journey be stronger than your doubts and fears be patient with yourself and your growth, knowing that good things always take time. give yourself time and space to try things and explore different paths. you will get there one day, so don't forget to enjoy the journey too.

(-nikki banas)

february

august

june

8 & 7

P I L E 2 ||

(the doorbell)

Hello there, pile 2 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`). everything in your life may be a mess right now. you feel untethered somehow. you feel as if you are attracting miserliness info your life. you haven't been focusing on particularly anything as of now. (you aren't alone, pile two. i feel the same 😔) you may have been focusing on studies, responsibilities, and the likes. right now, focus on your feelings. don't ignore them. treat yourself to things you enjoy. maybe icecream. do the things you enjoy doing. (a small suggestion here : you can try one of those 30 days of happiness (◍•ᴗ•◍) ) know your worth. once you finally understand it, you'll be disgusted at the things you used to settle for. be more responsible. invest in your relationships with your family.

extras

start all over

it's okay to start all over its okay to start everything from the ground up. it's okay to try something brand new. sometimes we forget that we aren't stuck and that we can change our entire life in a day, in a single moment of courage. we can move to a new city, we can say hello to someone new, we can join a new group, we can start writing that book. there is no limit to the things we can do if we choose. don't be afraid to start all over, my lovely friend. this is your life. why not make it wonderfully yours?

(-walk the earth)

just breathe

pause. amidst a the busyness. dyeing the days of back to back appointments, celebrations and meetings. during the moments when life seems to be moving at one hundred miles per hour. pause. take it all in, right where you are now. reacquaint yourself with who you are. remind yourself that you're doing your best and that that is all you can do. pause. allow yourself to take a moment to stretch and fe your muscles relax. let any tension fall away. pause. take in as much as air as your lungs will allow and just breathe. you are doing better than you think.

(-nikki banas)

january

november

october

0

P I L E 3 ||

(the teacup)

Hey there, pile 3. have you been focused on money recently? you may be focused on trying to move on from an ex relationship, platonic or romantic. you're very focused on yourself at the moment. if you're spiritual maybe focus on doing some research on that. focus on your independence. persist. believe in yourself. trust that you do have the strength. don't be afraid to express yourself. this is pretty short, but you're on the right track so keep going 💀

extras

growth

everything will work out exactly how and when it's supposed to, regardless of how and when you may want it to. let your faith in the journey be stronger than your doubts and fears. be patient with yourself and your growth, knowing that good things always take time. give yourself time and space to try things and explore different paths. you will get there one day, so don't forget to enjoy the journey too.

(-nikki banas)

"making you happy makes me happy"

august

march

april

wednesday

"days"

P I L E 4 ||

(the paper origami bird)

heyo, pile four. your energy seems to be focused on getting resources to achieve your goals, independence and general bad bitch energy. right now, you're focusing on spirituality. (I heard that some of you have an astrology blog 👀 drop the link) you've been focusing on resting and self-care. you've been incredibly hard-working lately. you should focus more on self-care, and get some clarity. your advice is to not give up. you can do it! fight for your fairytale ending. cut off ties with people who place limits onto you, toxic or jealous people.

extras

free

be exactly who you want to be. be the person who stand up for themselves and their dreams. be the person who is proud of themselves and proud to be themselves. be the person who is strong and vulnerable ; wild and free. these chains could never hold someone like you, I think it's time you finally break free.

(-nikki banas)

decide

you are the only one in charge of your destiny. unfair things things may happen to you, unfortunate times may come to you, but you always get to choose how you respond. you can live in frustration and bitterness, or just be the bigger person and just play the hell out of the cards you are dealt. the truth is that not a single person can choose the cards they receive, but everyone chooses how they play their cards.

(-nikki banas)

have a great day / night! :)

aut viam inveniam aut faciam

- i will either find a way, or make one.

[yunoteru4ever]

Do you think MIrai Nikki will have the staying power of some high profile anime in the community? Why or why not? Thanks so much.

You really got me thinking about this for a while.

So on the one hand, it's had staying power for a long time - longer than most manga/anime of its duration and age. When MyAnimeList rated the most popular anime of the decade at the end of 2019, Mirai Nikki made it to #4 - even after all those years. Evidently, Mirai NIkki is still considered a common "starter/early" anime for many people new to the medium, and the characters - namely Akise and especially Yuno - are iconic in the anime community. And, for better or worse, there are lot of outspoken haters of the series. You've probably noticed that damn near every video reviewing it on YouTube is about why the video's creator thinks it sucks - and the vast majority of those videos were published many years after it aired! So that's... y'know, another form of "staying power," albeit maybe not one we should be pursuing. :P But the point here is: The anime and manga are over a decade old, yet they continue to garner attention. That's great, and a very promising sign!

But it's definitely fading from attention with time. And ultimately... look; it's a 2-cour anime that ran in a single unbroken string. Any time you see single-cour or 2-cour anime that make a single run and then are done, they rarely have the impact of the high-profile shows that go on for season after season. When you look back at blogs and reviews from 2011-2012, it's clear it garnered a lot of attention while it was running, but we're more than a decade away from that now. It's only natural that it's fading from public consciousness now. A single-run anime that retains its prestige (like "Evangelion" or "Cowboy Bebop") only comes along once in a blue moon these days.

So I think Mirai NIkki will still have staying power for a decent while to come. Maybe even another 10 years! Other than its charmingly outdated flip phones, the anime hasn't really aged much in terms of its style/presentation/story. The manga is still a multimillion-seller that continues to be in active print across Europe and Asia. There's a good damn reason why, when Kadokawa is trying to brag about the best stuff in its back manga catalog or attempting to help launch a new anime streaming service, they're consistently out there pushing Mirai Nikki as one of the top highlights. It's well known to anime fans AND it's a good gateway drug for newbies. And for those reasons, people will still be trying it based on its legacy and then taking time to share their thoughts online for a while yet.

But... especially outside of Japan, I feel like it's eventually going to fade into something only older anime fans remember and newer anime fans consider "too old" to be worth trying. The manga will probably remain a big name for some time yet (in Europe especially), but hell - look at North America, the ONLY region where it was never fully printed and isn't currently available. It's not exactly a manga people talk about it over here, is it?

By the time it's 2035 or so, I wager that the only thing most people will know about Mirai Nikki is that it's where Yuno - the infamous "Yandere Queen" who seems to have had an outsized impact all her own - comes from. The younger incoming readers and viewers won't know necessarily what it's actually about, but they'll know the reputation of the lead girl. That's the most likely lasting impact.

That is, unless someone sees fit to continue licensing new merch or remaking the whole show ala Fruits Basket or something. (Doubtful.)

[elizabeth-baelish]

Life’s a Sick Joke pt 14

wohoo, finally!!

Would like to start from the beginning? Here is Part 1!

14. Truth and Lies

After that thing happened on the bus and that chick Tommy became a bit calmer than he usually was. It scared you cause he was the always energetic one who annoyed you all the time.

"So, what will you do in the Christmas break?" Doc asked reading through his papers and walking around on the stage to see if everything was ready for the last concert in 1983. You were dealing with your camera while Nikki was drinking a beer next to you before the concert started.

"Christmas? This wasn't last year?" Nikki asked drinking a beer next to you.

"It's in every year, you know." You sighed while angrily pushing the buttons on your camera.

"Did that poor camera hurt you?" He asked laughing.

"It's just messing with me." You snapped. "Go, take it before I smash into small pieces." You handed the item in question into his hand.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Just the usual. Not that my life is a fucking joke this camera can't even work properly." You huffed.

"Do you say this because neither your brother nor your sister will spend the holidays with you?" Vince spoke up who just finished with his costume and makeup session. You sent him a death glare as he took next to Nikki. You hated that he knew you this well, it was pretty annoying not being able to hide any of your emotions in front of them.

"What?" The bassist inquired. "You don't have any relatives or what?"

"Why? Do you have any?" You asked back. You didn't mean to fill your anger on them, to be honest, but they were the curious ones. "Sorry, it was rude." You apologized to him. "It will be just weird not spending it with them. And enough of me. I'm always talking about them."

"Hey, it's okay. We understand." Vince said giving you a big smile.

"Anyway, why don't you spend the holidays at Mick's family? Not that, I ever heard him speaking of them so I don't know if they exist at all." Nikki added. He was surprised that he didn't even know about his bandmate's family's existence.

"I don't know. I don't want to interrupt anything and to be honest, Mick doesn't talk about his personal life too much." It frustrated you that he knew almost everything about you whereas you only knew that he has three brothers which you doubted now. And there was the thing with those child support envelopes back in the hotel. It still didn't let you rest, but you didn't want to bring it up, it wasn't your business.

"I thought at least he told you something. Creepy man." Vince said adjusting his fluffy hair. "But I don't think you should worry, I'm sure he will open up, someday...at least I hope so."

"May the odds be ever in our favor, guys." You said jumping down the stage.

"Where are you going?"

"I need some fresh air before the concert starts." You yelled and headed toward the back door. When you were out you sniffed in the air and filled your lungs with fresh air though it's wasn't that good as at the camping.

"Hey, (Y/N)." Tommy greeted you when he saw you exiting the building. You took a seat next to him. Tommy noticed your not so satisfied face so he offered you a cigarette which you took happily.

"Thanks." You muttered while he held the lighter for you. For a few minutes, you were sitting there in silence, just enjoying the silence. Tommy and silence still didn't sound good together. "How are you?" You asked rubbing his thigh.

"Nothing."

"Well, that's not a lot."

"And what about you? What was that face? Did they annoy you?" He asked smirking.

"Imagine, this time it wasn't them." You laughed.

"Wow, miracle still happens. Then I bet it was your sister right? To be honest, I miss her, too." You glanced at him.

"You can call her anytime, you know that right?" You called her almost every day but it wasn't the same. And Tommy was aware of that, too."

"I know."

"Tommy, I know I told you this many times, but it wasn't your fault. That chick. She was just crazy and rude. She didn't know when to say when. Also, I hate to see you this. I miss your goofy self." You pushed him playfully in the arm.

"Thanks, (Y/N). I just need some time. I've never hit a woman before and I feel like a monster." He looked at his hands then smiled at you. "I miss annoying you, Cooper. Be prepared." He smirked.

"Not now, please." You chuckled but tried to keep the serious face on.

∆

"Finally, it's over." Mick sighed putting his guitar down and sitting down the couch.

"It's not over yet, there will be still a Christmas party," Nikki added.

"No way I'm going. The tour next year with Ozzy will be more than enough." Mick muttered opening a bottle.

"Speaking of Christmas...how will you spent it?" Vince tried to bring up the subject since you didn't dare.

"I thought we have already discussed it with (Y/N)," Nikki said when Vince elbowed him in the stomach. Mick just raised one of his eyebrows. He was thinking of spending it at home with his sister and parents since he was sure you will spend it at your relatives' far away.

"So, Mick?" Vince asked again.

"Well, maybe at home, in silence and peace." He smiled from the thought.

"And what about (Y/N)?" Tommy spoke up after a long time among his bandmates.

"So, you are speaking now. Good to know." Mick said knowing that it must be your hands in it. "And back to the question...well I don't know. You mentioned that you already know, why are you asking me?"

"Cause...for the fuck's sake she will spend the whole Christmas alone. Well, I wouldn't let that but I'm sure she wouldn't want to spend it with me while she has other options." Vince said crossing his arms. Mick looked concerned for a bit.

"You should talk to her," Nikki said after he could get some air after that punch from the singer.

"If you don't bring her with you, I will," Tommy added smirking at Mick.

"No, neither of you are taking her, understood?" Mick didn't understand why you didn't tell him this yet. It

"Yes, sir."

∆

"Hey." You put your smiling and happy face on not to let him know the situation.

After you went back to the hotel, you went to your room and started packing. You left the stadium without a word to anyone, just called a taxi. You wanted to be alone. You didn't want Mick to see you this miserable.

"(Y/N)?" He said after entering the room. You were sitting by the window and was gazing at the city night.

"Can we talk?" He asked while taking your hand and pulling on his lap on the sofa.

"So what is it?" You bit down your lip. Maybe those bastards told him everything.

"The boys told me that..." Of course, they did. "That you are spending Christmas...alone?" He asked still not believing it. You sighed and looked away.

"Yeah."

"And why didn't you tell me? Those teenagers are thinking that I'm a careless bastard for letting you alone. Whereas the truth is that I didn't know." He put his finger under your chin making you look in his eyes. "I thought that you will spend it with some of your relatives or friends."

"I don't have any relatives. We either aren't on speaking terms or they don't know about my existence. And won't visit them by 'Hey, I'm (Y/N), your cousin can I spend the holidays here. I don't know a thing about you and maybe I'm a serial killer but I hope you will let me in your house.'"

"Okay, that sounds ridiculous, I will give you that. But why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I thought that you will be with your family and I don't want to disturb." He placed a kiss on the top of your hand.

"You will never disturb, understand? And stop thinking about yourself like you were worthless."

"So then?" You asked.

∆

"I don't know, Mick. Are you sure that they will like me?" You bit down your lip while adjusting your coat on yourself. He pulled you by your hand towards the entrance of the house.

"It's high time for them to finally meet you." He said opening the gate for you and letting your forward. You were standing in front of the door playing with your hair. 

"Don't worry, okay? You are perfect and they will like you I'm sure." He pecked your lips and knocked on the door. You were sure you would've faint if he wasn't holding your hand.

"Omg, Robert! I missed you so much." Her mother hugged her son tightly which made Mick smile.

"I missed you, too, mom."

"And you must be (Y/N), right? Hi, I'm Mick's mother." She offered a hand and you shook it happily.

"Nice to meet you, ma'am."

"Call me, Tina, please." She said smiling and invited you to the house. Mick helped you taking down your coat and put it on a hanger while you took the opportunity to look around. The whole house was decorated and there was a huge tree in the living room still blank. "Come, Frank and Susie are in the kitchen making a mess, I guess." She whispered turning back to you while heading towards the mentioned place. You could smell gingerbread in the air which remembered you the recent holidays. When you entered the kitchen you saw Susie and Frank throwing flour on each other while laughing from the top of their lungs. Tina rolled her eyes and shook his head while Mick was just smirking. You liked the way his family made him feel.

"So that's my family. I told you not to worry that they will be crazier than you. " He whispered in your ear.

"Alright, I surrender, and I advise you to do the same. Our guests arrived." Tina announced gesturing towards you and Mick.

"Mickey!" Susie screamed while running in the arms of his older brother. You can't help but smile at them.

"Susie, dad, I would like you to meet (Y/N). She is my..what we are for each other?" He asked you playfully.

"We are just acquaintances. I think." You joked.

"No, we are more than that." He chuckled gripping your hand.

"Oh, you look so cute together." Susie blubbered. "By the way, I'm Susie, his little annoying sister." You offered a hand but she put it away and hugged you tightly.

"Sorry for manners. I'm Frank." You shook with hands with him smiling.

"Nice to meet you." You said. They all seemed super nice. You didn't understand why Mick never talks about them. If you had a family like this, you would talk about them 24/7.

"Come on in, there is much more space in the living room and you must be tired, you may go and bring your bags up in your room," Tina said while going back to the kitchen cleaning up the mess Susie and Frank did.

"I will bring up our luggage then I will come back. Don't run away while I'm away." Mick said to you when Frank took the bags out of his hand.

"I will do it, don't bother about it." Mick's family was aware of his condition, too and they cared about him, even if Mick didn't feel himself a man like that.

"Thanks, dad." Mick sighed and sat down next to you.

"Okay, so I want to know everything. Tell me from the beginning!" Susie giggled, she was all ears.

"Calm down. You will know everything, I promise. Just wait a bit, we have just arrived. And don't annoy (Y/N), she drove all way here."

"You did?" Susie turned to you.

"I didn't let him drive my car. I'm too overprotective." You laughed. "And you are not bothering me."

"She is a great girl, I don't even know how you are with her." She joked to Mick. Mick gave her a fake smile and threw a pillow in her face.

"Rude."

∆

"So what do you think?" Mick asked while packing your clothes in the wardrobe. You were sitting on the bed handing him your stuff.

"They are all kind and generous. It must've been good to spend your childhood with them in this lovely house."

"Things weren't always this decent, (Y/N)."

"So that's why you never talk about them?"

"Yeah." The truth was that he was afraid that his family would say something, you shouldn't know. Now, he prepared himself for those conversations and it was time to let you know the truth.

∆

"It's really delicious, Tina." You said while consuming the food which covered the whole table.

"Thank you, honey. You want the receipt?"

"Oh, I don't know. It must a family receipt."

"You are family, now." You gulped and almost choke on the food but you managed to smile and nod.

"Thanks." You cleared your throat and drank a bit. It wasn't that you didn't want to be part of this wonderful family. The fact made you choke was that they barely know you.

"Mickey, now talk. I'm dying of curiousness!" Susie pouted pointing with her fork at her brother and you. Mick glanced at you then back at his sister.

"What do you want to know?"

"E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G." She snapped.

"Where did you meet?" Frank asked dealing with his turkey.

"Umm, at my job interview." You chuckled remembering back the day.

"Mickey gave you the job?" Susie asked.

"No, he just saw how stressed I was and encouraged me. His manager hired me." You said.

"Really? Are you sure, it wasn't Mick?" She laughed staring at Mick. Mick jaws tightened. He gave a death glare at his sister and took a deep breath. You blinked and glanced at him.

"Shut it." He snapped. You bit down your lip now knowing he was the reason you got the job. Not your qualifications or photos. You knew it wasn't the best place and time to fight over it so you just calm down and continued eating. You felt Mick's hand on your thigh on the table but you didn't react anything.

"You have a beautiful house, Tina. Have you always lived here?" You asked to break the awkward silence.

"Thank you, you are kind. And no, we moved here when Mick was 7 years old and went to primary school. Frank got a new job so we had to move here."

"I see. And did you like going to school here, Susie?"

"Yes, much better and more than Mickey. He was absent many times unless I. I had a pretty good time there."

"Really?" You thought Mick was a nerd, but maybe studies and music weren't hand in hand. "And what about your brothers. Mick told me you have three brothers." Susie spit out her food, Tina and Frank shared a look. Mick placed his face in his palms.

"We don't have any more children. They were more than enough." Tina laughed. You pouted and you felt your face burn from embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. I might misunderstand something. If you excuse me, I have to go to the restroom. Be right back."

"Sure, darling. It's at the end of the corridor." Frank told you.

You needed some time to calm down. Mick lied about you now in two things as well. You were upset and you wanted to scream his head off for lying. But on the other side, you were grateful for him to arrange this job for you. And about that brother's topic. You were completely clueless.

"Robert, why did you lie to that poor girl that you have three brothers?" Tina whispered to her son while you were away.

"Just let it go, okay? She could be back at any moment." He drummed with his fingers on the table from the stress.

"Then until she arrives, do you know anything about Stormy, Erik, or Les Paul?" She whispered. Well, you heard everything. You knew it was rude but you needed to know the truth after all these lies.

"I don't know, mom. But can we talk about it later?" He hissed through his teeth. Stormy, Erik, and Les Paul? Who were they? No, they can't be. But that child support mails at the hotel. Something big was going on. You walked back to the table when neither of them talked and sat down.

"Did I miss anything?" You asked smiling but deep down you wanted to scream.

"Just how clumsy Mick was back in the days. Omg, can I show you pictures?" Susie went into a crazy mood.

"Yes, that's a wonderful idea," Tina added.

"Mom, Susie, please don't!" Mick said shaking his head. He still didn't dare to look at you which he did well cause you were on the edge of punching him or at least kick him under the table. Frank gave you an empathetic smile, so exactly knew that they were lying to you. Nice. At least someone was on your side, too.

"Look at him! Isn't he adorable?" Tina asked while pointing at a picture of Mick who was posing with his Mickey Mouse guitar.

"Sure, he is." You chuckled. Frank and Mick didn't want to be there so they went into Frank's working room to talk.

"Son, I understand that you don't want to tell her your past, but I think you can be honest with her. She deserves it." Frank said watching his son watching the books on the shelves.

"I know. I just haven't got the perfect occasion to tell her. Lots of things happened recently and I didn't want to put his pressure on her as well." He sighed.

"You love her, don't you?"

"Of course, I love her. That's why I dared to bring her here, but maybe it wasn't the best idea after all." He rolled his eyes regretting the whole night.

"I think it was a good idea. I'm happy to see you and I think Susie and your mother think the same. And if you are happy with her then you are making us glad as well. Just talk to her. I'm sure she will understand it." Frank gave an encouraging smile to Mick.

∆

"Come on, (Y/N), you can do this!" Tina supported you as you were sitting on the shoulder of Frank and were about to put the star on the top of the tree. When you managed to you cheered and Frank put you down cautiously. He gave you a high-five smiling.

"Good job." He said.

"It's beautiful," Susie said admiring the tree. Mick was standing behind you, his hands on your hips.

"Now it's time to let Santa bring all the presents. Go to your rooms." Tina said smirking.

"Oh, mom. But I'm an adult now. I know it's not the Santa."

"I don't care, young lady." You were just laughing along with Mick seeing Susie. Mick took your hand and pulled you towards his room.

"Good night." You said.

"What?" You asked noticing his facial expression.

"Good night, darling." Tina greeted back waving.

You went upstairs and entered Mick's room. While you looked around he closed the door even with a key. He was standing there with his face to the door and was gazing at you. You deserved the truth.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lying to you. I didn't te you everything and I would like to tell you if you are even willing to stay here with me. You probably hate me." He put his hands in his pockets.

"Hate you? Never? Wanted to punch you? Maybe." You chuckled. He smiled but he was relieved. So he didn't fuck up everything in the end. "Look, I'm grateful that you got me the job, but you could've told me." He sat down beside you on the bed.

"I know. But I owed you this. You looked so stressed that day that I thought I might help you."

"Thank you, really. But I wanted to hear from you, not your family."

"Speaking of family...I don't have three brothers." He smirked.

"No shit. I figured it out now." You laughed. Mick rubbed the back of his head then he stood up and searched in his pockets. He handed you his wallet.

"Open it."

"Um, okay?" You opened the layers. Mick pointed in a little secret pocket in it. You sighed and found three tiny pictures.

"She is Stormy. She is 10 by now. He is Les Paul, he is 12 and there is Erik, he is 7. They are my...my children." His lips curved into a smile seeing his children even if just only in a picture. You hummed.

"They look cute. And where are they?"

"At their mother's, I guess. But I don't know much about them. Their mother took them from me cause I didn't have the money back then. I didn't have work so the court took them away."

"I'm so sorry, Mick." You hugged him tightly while rubbing his back.

"I'm sorry for not  telling you. I was just afraid."

"Don't apologize. It's okay." You hushed.

∆

"Good morning, fellas!" Susie knocked on your door yelling. You groaned from the noise not wanting to get up. Mick stroked your hair and your bareback with his fingers. He loved you with your messy hair and sleepy face. It made you so much younger.

"Good morning." You murmured into the white pillow.

"Morning." He leaned closer and started kissing your back from your neck down your waist. You smiled but didn't move. "I think we need to get ready. Susie won't stop until we get down."

"I think you are right. We can finish this later." He leaned closer to your ear. "If you want." He whispered making you chuckle.

"Come on, doves! Santa was here!" Susie yelled again.

"Give us a minute!" Mick yelled back rubbing his face. "Or two." He muttered.

After you got dressed you went down the living room and admired all the big presents under the tree.

"Wow, someone was a good boy." You said when you noticed all the presents behind Mick's name card.

"Look who is talking." You raised your eyebrows when you saw the number of boxes with your name on them.

"Finally, your respect is with your presence." Susie snapped sitting on the couch.

"So who's gonna start?" Tina asked bringing a camera in her hand.

"I will." Susie giggled. She was a few years younger than you, whereas she acted like a 10-year-old. But she was happy. After she opened all of her boxes she insisted that you would be next.

"Alright. Let's see." You took a quite heavy box in your hand and cautiously opened it. When you saw it your lips curved into a big, happy smile.

"I heard that your current one didn't work properly. I hope it's all good." Mick said from the couch.

"It's perfect, thank you." You felt tears running down your cheek from happiness. You walked over to him and pecked his lips when you heard a click. Tina held the camera in her hand and smiled.

"This goes to the family album," Frank spoke up watching the picture. After all of you finished, you sat down on the floor and Susie showed you what she got. "(Y/N), Mick there is one more." They handed you an envelope. Mick took it and opened it. "We thought, you might need some time off." Frank pulled his wife in a sideways hug.

"A whole holiday to Hawaii?!" You gasped. "No, we can't accept this. This is.."

"Stop, both of you deserve it. And there is no payback so it will go waste if you don't use it."

"I will happily use it if you won't," Susie added.

"We will go," Mick said. "Thank you."

∆

"Thank you for everything. And the food, too." You thanked hugging each of them.

"Very welcome."

"Thanks, mom."

"We would like to see our grandkids next time," Tina added. Mick's facial expression made you laugh. After you sat in the car Mick glanced at you. "You know, if we continue this night routine we might bring their grandkids next Christmas." You blushed and covered your face. "Just kidding." He chuckled and started the car.

Tags: @cmft-jr-winchester​ @leatherandheels​ @karrotkate​

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Two

Wattpad

Word Count: 3.2k

Warning(s): explicit language, drug abuse, violence, sexual situations

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@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14

"Ah!" I squeal with a small giggle laced through it, Nikki's lips pressing to my shoulder while he pulls out of me and his cum spills on the inside of my thighs that are wide open.

My leg's hooked over his hip as he lays behind me with his arm snaking around my waist, between my breasts, while his hand has a solid hold on my throat.

When he's done, he's pressing one last kiss to my cheek before rolling over on his back, reaching for something on his night table.

I shift to my back, staring up at the mirrored ceiling to see him holding something out to me.

I turn my head to look at him just as he's taking my hand and sliding my wedding ring back on, pressing a little kiss to my hand before grabbing at my jaw assertively, kissing me.

"Apology accepted." I say once he pulls away.

"Yeah, ditto." He chuckles, kissing me one last time before I'm giving out a content sigh and sitting up to go shower.

Once I get out, I dry off and wrap myself in a towel, brushing through my wet hair with my fingers as I step into our bedroom to get some lotion on and get dressed.

"Wait, wait." Nikki stops me as I squeeze lotion onto my hand and I look up at him and raise my brows, seeing him grab his camera from the drawer in the nightstand. "Okay, drop the towel and oil up nice: I'm gonna need something to keep me company while I'm in the studio for countless hours the next several weeks."

I roll my eyes and hold back a smile, throwing my towel at him and it hits him in the face.

"Woo!" He cheers, tossing the towel away and I cover my chest just as the flash goes off and I shake my head a little, ignoring him collecting the dispensed Polaroid as I start putting my moisturizer on.

When I'm finished, I'm pulling on sweat pants and hooking my bra, about to pull a tank top on.

"Hey, Viv?" Nikki asks me.

"Yeah, babe?"

"Is the Lord's prayer important?"

I furrow my brows, finding it odd that's he's asking.

"Well, it's the template Jesus gave Christians to use when praying so yes, it's very important." I reply and he nods a little.

"So...like...what is the prayer, exactly?"

I drop the tank-top in my hands, my eyes widen, and I look at him like he's lost his mind.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Nikki Sixx?"

"Ha, ha." He sarcastically lets out.

"No, seriously, either you're a clone, had a bad dose of drugs, or your body is officially done with and dying and God's jabbing at you to throw one last 'hail Mary' attempt at salvation before you croak."

"No, I just wanna know what I need to say when I pray to you." He replies with a smirk and I pretend to nearly trip and fall on the floor as if it's slippery.

"Woah, woah, woah, you gotta give me a warning before you say something so slick." I tell him, grinning and he pulls me onto him, laughing. "And to answer your question, it's 'Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen'." I finish, deciding he wasn't even listening, but I have a weird feeling he's taking notes. "Seriously, though, why're you asking?" I add, my fingers fiddling with the various necklaces hanging around his neck.

A devious, childish, sneaky little tug of his lips his highlighting the "up to no good" look in his hazel eyes as his pointer finger traces the crucifix around my neck before meeting my gaze.

"Just curious."

Just a dumbass.

I finish dressing before stepping out to check the mail.

When I come back, I realize there's a handwritten note pinned to the door.

It's signed by our accountant and I roll my jaw.

It was $2,500.00 last May, which means he's been going through $5,000.00 a day.

"Uh, Nikki?!" I call coming into the house with the mail and the letter, going to our bedroom where he's plucking at his bass, waving the letter.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"Sixx 1 & 2,

Sixx 1 is still spending exponential amounts of money on heroin a day. I left a warning last May, and said Nikki will either be dead or the two of you will be completely broke by May this year. That still stands because the amount being spent has doubled since then. Slow down." I read it off. "Nikki, it was $2,500.00 last time so he's saying you're currently spending $5,000.00 a day on smack?!" I raise my voice. "How the hell can someone possibly do that much heroin--or any freaking drug--in one day?!"

"Viv--"

"--That's $1.6 million a year! Did we even make that much last year!" I scream.

"We? Vivian, you've never worked a day in your fucking life. There is no 'we made', it's what I made. And because I'm the one who made the money, I can do whatever the hell I want with it so just hop off."

"Nikki, baby, we have bills, and insurance didn't cover as much on my time in the hospital and follow-ups as we had hoped so we have to spend money on necessities and not..." I trail off, calming myself down, rubbing my forehead, trying not to start crying.

"Viv, I'll handle it." He tells me after a moment of quiet between us. "Alright?"

I rub my lips together, letting out a sigh as he holds his hand out to take the stack of bills from me.

I hand them over, not saying a word more, before leaving him to continue scraping up motivation to actually write something.

He wrote "Wild Side", which completely reworks and assaults the Lord's prayer...then the bastard listed me as a co-write because, "well you told me what the prayer was to begin with so technically you helped me write it."

When the conservatives went digging around once the album was released, they dragged me through the mud when they saw my name attached to a bastardized version of something sacred to christianity and I heard every degrading, yet passive, insult any holier-than-thou Bible-biddy could throw at me.

I stopped going to church for quite a while after that because I didn't even want to face the possibility of all those people smiling in my face while thinking, "she's not the really for God."

"Valentine's Day?" I ask Doc, raising my brows. "...Really?"

"Well, they wanna get a good feel of Nikki and you're obviously a part of his life, so they figured spending Valentine's Day with you two would be pretty interesting." He explains.

"I don't want anybody getting a good feel of Nikki's anything." I reply stubbornly, crossing my arms.

"Yeah, and Viv won't let me pull out the really special techniques while someone's in the house with us." Nikki adds. "And she only lets me do them on special occasions."

"Nobody's feeling anybody else, and you two sodomites can have all the fun you want once the interview is done with. It'll take four hours, tops." Doc says, looking at Nikki. "We're gonna have to start promoting the album."

This is the selling point.

Nikki sighs, rubbing his face, groaning.

"Fine." He gives up, looking at me. "We can entertain the nosy bastard for a few hours, I guess."

"I suppose." I roll my eyes.

"Thank you." Doc let's out with relief.

"Was that it?" I ask him, glancing around his office.

"Oh, yeah." He nods.

"We drove down here just for you to tell us something you could have easily called and told us over the phone?" Nikki asks next.

"Yeah, 'cause I wanted to see how you look and sure enough you look like shit." Doc states and Nikki rolls his eyes. "Which reminds me, clean up your house and make yourself seem like you're not on drugs. K?" Doc gives us a parting word of advice as we stand up to leave.

"Yeah, yeah, got it." Nikki waves him off, leaving in front of me.

"Viv." Doc says to me and I nod reassuringly.

"I'll make sure he keeps it together for the interview."

"Thank you, you two be careful on the way home."

"We will, bye." I shut the door and follow Nikki out to his Jeep.

"I really don't feel like dealing with the press." He grumbles, looking at me now with his sunglasses on and I give him a small smile.

"Maybe it won't be that bad."

"I don't like people I don't fuck with in my house. It's my house. My space. It isn't a fucking amusement park that's open for review." He cranks the car and I put my seat belt on.

"Baby?"

"What?" He says a little harsh.

"It will be okay." I pat his fluffy hair. "K?"

He doesn't answer, actually pouting like a spoiled little boy.

When he ignores me, about to start driving, I raise a brow, unbuckle, and my fingers slowly fumble with the button on his jeans as his pout falters and his smirk replaces it, followed by the sound of a content, groan-filled sigh, and the back of his head hitting the back of his seat when I get my mouth around his prick.

Once we get home I'm wiping the remains of slobber and cum from my lips and he's struggling to keep his legs from collapsing.

"Are you okay?" I ask him smugly when his leg shakes a little bit as he unlocks the front door.

"Watch it, Sixx." He warns as he points at me, his hand popping me on the ass when I walk in front of him to go inside, and I let out a small shriek, following it with a laugh.

My laughter abruptly stops when I see Vanity watching T.V.

She actually seems sober enough, but she looks like she just came off of a bender.

Nikki and I look at each other.

"Oh, there you are. Nikki wasn't answering the phone and I wanted to see him." She tells us, her eyes glued him, and he sighs.

"Well, I'm here. What do you want?" He asks her in a snap, taking his jacket off.

"Nikki, quit being rude." I tell him quietly.

"Showing up to people's houses uninvited is rude." He replies, glaring at her.

"Not when I gave her the code to the gate and a key." I state.

His eyes bug for a second and he's raising his brows at me.

"You what?"

"Tansy has the code and a key, Tommy, Vince and Mick have the code and a key. Izzy, Steven, Slash, Duff, Axl--"

"--That's different." He cuts me short.

"How? They're our friends and so is she." I point out.

"If I'm not welcome I can just go." She says, grabbing her coat.

"Bye." Nikki says just as I say, "no, it's okay."

He and I give each other dirty looks.

"I was actually about to start cooking dinner and invite some friends over so feel free to stay, please." I offer to her. "Nikki, I need your help in the kitchen."

He follows me and I yank on the ends of his hair once we're alone, scolding him.

"Will you stop being a jackass to her?!" I whisper-yell.

"Can you stop being so fucking nice to people? It's stupid."

"Oh, God forbid Nikki Sixx be married to someone who's not a complete bitch." I roll my eyes, grabbing a few pans from our cabinet and he let's out a heavy breath.

"She's fucking crazy, Vivian." He argues and I turn to face him.

"You say the same thing about me any time I piss you off. I really believe she's a good girl, Nikki. She just needs one, good, solid friend that isn't just friends with her to have someone to do drugs with." I explain.

"Oh, yeah, Viv, she's really good...at being a fucking slut."

I pop him in the side of the face and point my finger at him.

"You don't talk like that about Vince or Tommy or Robbin so why the hell talk like that about her?"

"Because she is one." He ignores me and I let out a breath. "Some of the dudes she's fucked are married." He adds.

"Tansy has slept with married men, is she a slut, too?" I ask him and he rolls his jaw. "What I thought."

"Viv, I really don't--"

"Okay, Nikki. Whatever you say." I interrupt him, grabbing some things from the fridge. "She's an awful person, got it. Can you please help me with this so I can clean up the house some?" I ask.

He hesitates for a second before opening the packet of chicken on the counter I pulled from the fridge.

"Thank you." I smile, kissing his cheek, before leaving him alone so I can get the house in nice shape.

To say Nikki projected shit onto Vanity would be an understatement. Her hands weren't clean, of course, but he would often externally put her down the way he internally put himself down for what the two of them were doing to me. It was moments like that, that I looked back on after finding everything out, and would want to hit myself.

He practically told me they were sleeping together without actually saying "hey, I'm screwing this woman that you think is your friend, and you're being too nice and naive to think we wouldn't do that to you."

"Tommy and Heather, Vince and Sharise, Tansy and Vanity, Duff, Slash, Steven, Izzy and Axl." I tell Mick how many people will be at dinner and I hear him let out a breath on the other end of the phone.

"I don't know, Viv." He tells me.

"Mick, c'mon, I haven't seen you very much the past year."

"I don't know..."

"Mick--"

"--Mick, get your ass over here so we can have a good time. We're gonna see you in the studio tomorrow, anyway, so just come celebrate the commencement of the start of the new album." Nikki says after he takes the phone from me.

Mick says something and Nikki grins.

"Alright, bye." He hangs up. "He's in." He tells me.

"Thank you for snatching the phone from me, dickhead." I say, half-joking.

"Okay, I am this close," he holds his pointer finger and thumb centimeters apart from each other. "to bending you over my knee and beating your ass."

"Promise?" I reply, grinning, and he tugs me closer to him, but just before our lips meet, Vanity is walking--more so bursting--into the kitchen.

"Nikki, when are we hanging out?" She asks him, nearly bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Nikki's hands dig into my hips as if he's channeling his frustration instead of being rude.

I know what "hangout" means, and I don't need him cracked out, especially not now with guests coming over soon.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Vanity." I explain to her as politely as I can.

"Why not?" She asks me.

"Just not aright now." Nikki tells her, actually more tolerant than he was earlier.

I don't know if I'm shocked because he's not being an ass to her, or because he's  turning down the opportunity to go hit a crackpipe. 

Vanity looks at me for a split second--a very short, nearly millisecond--as if I'm the fucking Devil, before it vanishes and she smiles at us.

"Okay, I'm gonna be in the bathroom freshening up." She tells us, walking in the direction of the guest bathroom, and I let out a breath when she's gone.

"You mean you don't wanna greet our guests naked, waving a gun, and accuse them of being the FBI before opening fire?" I ask him.

He just gives me an unamused look.

"I'm gonna go change before that 'ass beating' is administered." I suggest.

"Yeah, good idea."

I change, put on some makeup, and run my fingers through my hair to comb it out before stepping into the kitchen to help Nikki finish up.

I'm met with uncooked food.

"Uh...Nikki?!" I call, glancing at the clock to see it's 8:00pm.

People will be here any minute.

I go looking for him, smelling the familiarity of cocaine.

"Oh my God." I say to myself, opening the guest bedroom to see Nikki and Vanity crouched over their pipes with a mountain of blow out.

They look at me with wild eyes.

As if on cue, the doorbell rings.

"Please be someone sober. Please be someone sober." I repeat, shutting the door as I step to the door.

I open it to reveal Duff and the guys.

"I need help." I tell them, sounding panicked. "Nikki and Vanity's cracked out."

"Um, w-we were gonna ask you for help." Duff tells me.

"What, why?"

They move over and I see Tansy, shaking a little.

"Are you--"

Before I can finish, a familiar "BANG" is sounding through the house and is joined with a loud, ear-shattering shriek of glass breaking, and we hit the ground, Duff securing me under him before a second shot is fired, breaking more glass, causing Tansy to start screaming and crying from under Axl and Steven.

I thank God when Nikki doesn't shoot again, instead the sound of him scrambling to get to his closet, and the sound of Vanity's heels scampering along with him has me sighing with relief. I hear him slam our bedroom door, and Duff runs his thumbs under my eyes to wipe at tears that I had no idea were even coming out of me.

"Holy shit." Izzy mumbles. 

"Are you okay?" Duff asks me and I nod as he helps me up.

"Tansy?" I ask her gently, she's got her hands over her ears, tears streaming down her face.

Axl carefully steps into the house as I continue to reassure Tansy.

"Uh, Viv?" Axl asks.

"I got it, Viv." Steven tells me, trying to calm Tansy down.

I follow Axl into the house, and I'm taken back by the sight of our entire ceiling in the living room shattered over our couches, the carpet, the coffee table, the T.V., it's a giant sheet of sparkling, sharp, shards of mirror.

It seems like forever just staring at the damage done to my house, and I'm unable to get words to come out of my mouth.

"Dude, is Tansy alright?" Tommy's voice sounds at the door and we snap around to see him.

I hear Heather and Sharise outside before Vince comes in behind Tommy, their brows raising at the sight of the mess.

"Hooollllyyyy..." the blonde singer drags out.

"You alright?" Axl asks me, and anger rolls through me, my teeth grinding together.

"Viv?" Tommy adds.

"Doc. Bob. Now." Is all I'm able to say.

"On it." Tommy doesn't waste a minute stepping through the glass to get to the phone in the living room while Axl tugs me back outside to avoid murdering Nikki.

That was the first straw that began the process of breaking the camel's back.

[idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf]

G U Y S

I know I cry a lot about Max, Nikki, and Neil but can I just say that I live for their dynamic? And imma just throw a lot of observations about them here and this may get incoherent but whatever?

1.) They're actually pretty touchy-feely with each other and god I never noticed until recently but like??? They a r e??? Like Neil putting his hand on Max's back in Jermy Fartz. Like how Max grabbed Nikki's hand and d r a g g e d her away from the danger in Night Of The Living Ill. Or how Nikki just kinda clung to Neil when she was sick in the episode Into Town. Or how Nikki grabbed the boys into a hug in the Christmas Special. Even as early as the first episode they were grabbing each other and Max put his arms around the other's shoulders to guide them away. I know a lot of us are like "they aren't really the publicly clingy or affectionate types" but the thing is that they really kinda are. We don't always see it because it's not called attention to all that often but next time you watch an episode that's heavily trio centred count how many times they touch each other casually and you'll see what I mean. For example, I counted four casual grabs and touches in Spooky Island. Which doesn't seem like much. Until you remember the fact that this is a ten minute episode, and that's a touch every 2.5 minutes on average. Which IS a lot. Not to mention how damn close they were. There were quite a few moments where I fully expected them to grab each other or something because they were just completely invading one another's personal space.

Look how close they stand to one another. Compare this to normal conversation distance

When in a conversation generally your attention is locked onto the other person. Generally you'll stand closer to someone if you're talking to them than if you're not. Yet the two images I showed you before are of Max, Nikki, and Neil NOT talking or even really acknowleging one another. Compare that to the screenshot of Nikki actually engaged in conversation with Jasper.

If you thought maybe the former three images were just a perspective issue or something...no. Max, Nikki, and Neil genuinely do stand abnormally close. Look at this picture where Max and Nikki have literally no reason to leave a huge gap from Jasper yet they still do.

And when I said they disreguarded personal space I don't even mean standing this strangely close to each other?!? I mean like when Nikki threw herself two inches away from Max to the point where he jumped back a little. I mean like when Max pointed at Neil and Neil had to move his body a little because he was startled by how close it was. I mean like when Nikki leaned across Neil to jab her finger in Max's personal space, effectively getting abnormally touchy with both of them at the same time. Note that all these observations are from ONE EPISODE that's only ten minutes long! Imagine everything that could be observed if I went out of my way to check how touchy they were in every episode? This is especially impressive if we look at who we're talking about. Max is the type to reject touching from people. He's brushed off or shoved away other's who try to touch him multiple times. But not these two.

2.) Max is a l o t softer with Nikki and Neil than with anyone else. Again, let's take Spooky Island for example. When they discover the torture chamber, Max has absolutely no issues whatsoever telling Jasper the fuck off. He taunted Jasper, who was clearly frightened, going "Oh no! We have to find ghosts and monsters! Remember?!?" And keep in mind he was mocking and yelling here. Then Neil interjects and you know what? Max's tone actually softens. Yeah he still tells Neil that he's wrong. But Max isn't nearly as hostile. He sure as hell didn't mock or taunt Neil. And what's more? Max didn't say one word to Nikki. Yeah when he first walked in he started to tease her but as soon as she made it clear that she was frightened he just completely stopped and turned his attention onto Jasper. And you can see this in a l o t of episodes, not just this one. Max is still a jerk with Nikki and Neil but he doesn't cross the line. He doesn't yell for too long. Max...he doesn't want to hurt them. He doesn't want to see them fail. He doesn't want them angry or god forbid sad. Max may hurt them sometimes but he doesn't fuck with them just for the sake of upsetting them. And especially in early seasons, that's more than can be said for anyone else because he does go out of his way to torment the other's and he's never been as openly apologetic for anything in his life than for the few times he has upset Nikki and Neil. It's also worth noting that Neil is more gentle with Nikki than other's. For example he expects her to ruin his experiments and just gets kinda salty about it after but he clearly forgives her? Max and Neil also forgave her when she betrayed them for Ered in Camp Cool Kidz. Like..immediately. With no bargaining. They were back to hanging out together instantly before Nikki even apologized.

3.) They're always together. I think I made a separate post about this? But it's the truth. They eat together. They sleep in the same tent (actually I'm not sure? Max said in episode 1 "I'll show you to our tent" and they have no issues sneaking out together all the time in the middle of the night- note that they don't all have that much access to technology so coming up with a time to meet up may be hard- implying that Nikki sleeps with them? And there are only two 'beds' I think but doubling up doesn't seem that unlikely for these three? So until proven otherwise I'm assuming they sleep in the same tent). They have DAILY adventures together. Like scheduled. Like they gotta spend it together. In Eggs Benefits Max wanted nothing to do with the adventure yet he followed Nikki and Neil anyway and spent the whole day letting Nikki drag him around despite whining the whole time. In Spooky island both Nikki and Neil want to leave at different points of the episode but they continue to follow Max anyway. These three really do just stick together all the time and maybe they've been branching off a bit more lately but they still spend a hell of a lot of time together? Like most of their time if I'm not mistaken?

4.) Nikki and Neil are...really protective over Max? Like I'm sorry but did you guys see the Foreign Exchange Campers episode? The moment Max decided to team up with someone else they flipped their shit. I mean, Max literally told them it was just so he could win. It was clear he wasn't actually choosing the other campers over Nikki and Neil? Like it's obvious they were still friends? Yet we still got lines like "What about us? We're kinda a thing!", "We dont need you anyway Max! And even if we did, we're just going to pretend we don't in the hopes that you'll be jealous and we won't feel as sad!", "I just can't believe he would ditch us! After all our adventures?!?", and "He looks so happy! At least he's found someone who can make him smile" like, god, they treat this like a breakup or something when Max just wanted to win the contest. Like they knew it wasn't personal. They knew he was just being a jerk and he didn't like the Foreign kids more than them. Yet look at this.

Look at these creeps watching him from the bushes instead of competing!

They were so volatile too? They called Brian "Kim-Chi" despite knowing damn well that Nurf wasn't calling him the right name. Nikki literally yelled "Shut up commie" at Vera. I believe Neil outright told them point blank "Max is OUR friend and you can't have him!".

This isn't the only example of them being defensive about Max (almost to a fault) but it's the biggest one off the top of my head.

5.) They l o v e each other. Nikki saying "You know what else I love about Christmas? You guys (Max and Neil)" or Neil saying "We were so afraid of foreigners taking what we love (Max) that we.." , etc. Like??? They're so very sweet? They really love each other guys and I'm screaming because they're so good? And Max hasn't outright said he loves them but god, we know he does. Like how he "didn't do this camp campbell" but "for you guys (Nikki and Neil)" when he pulled off this difficult convoluted scheme to get the camp back. They love and care about and support one another even with all their issues and it's just so good? And the trio's overall relationship is ignored way too much. Can we just..please..talk about them more? As a trio? Please?

[pega-chan]

was listening to Try It On for the millionth time and suddenly got hit with an alternative plotline for Princess Adventure at 12 AM, so i wanna put this down before i forget

so, we keep the opening of Barbie shooting her music video. she and Daisy still wrote Try It On. but the kicker is that Barbie started (stress) songwriting it bc she's in her last year of high school and the pressure to choose a major and thus a possible career path looms over her head, and she's indecisive about it because EVERYTHING seems interesting, and she wants to try everything on (hehe) but she'd have to settle on something eventually. she looks around and sees her friends already having their own interests and a clear path to where they wanna go, so in a scene where they're hanging out and choosing colleges and majors, Barbie doesn't know what to answer.

cut to Amelia (who has red hair now bc i said so, it's no fun if she's blonde and looks exactly like Babs /j) watching Barbie's music video while in the makeup chair getting ready for a photoshoot. Alfonso calls her on her phone, interrupting her viewing, to rattle off the rest of her schedule for the day and tells her exactly what to do at each event. When he hangs up, Amelia sighs and presses play, wishing she has the freedom to express herself like Barbie does. Amelia is incredibly sheltered and her life is completely curated by Alfonso, from her social media feeds to the people she hangs out with--mostly other nobles. they were nice, but she didn't click with most of them except for Johan (he's not the villain here), who's she regularly keeps in touch with and considers her only friend outside of the palace. her parents had passed away a few years back and her lifestyle then was similar to what she had now, but at least she was allowed some wiggle room instead of having every decision made for her. her parents were good rulers and Floravia prospered under their rule, so the pressure to live up to their name is real.

in addition to that the Floravian monarchy is fucked up in some way, like maybe setting taxes too high or rampant capitalism or whatnot, but Amelia doesn't realize this because it's normal for her and she was taught to believe that all rules in place were good and necessary. she doesn't even get to debunk her beliefs on the internet bc Alfonso controls her screentime and internet activity so she never finds out, and she's forbidden from saying certain things to the press. to be clear Alfonso wants the best for Floravia and the plotline of him thinking she's not mature enough to make her own decisions is still in play. Amelia wants to be a good ruler and is a naturally good leader but Alfonso isn't letting her construct and implement her own ideas into how they run things, no matter how much she revises them with her grand council. he won't tell her why, either, and only insists that traditional rules are better to keep the country running; Amelia is frustrated with his lack of transperency. plus, she's not really allowed to interact with her own subjects without supervision, so she's never been around them outside of royal business. she doesn't know enough about her people. she wants to be a good successor to her parents but she's getting nowhere.

now, i'm not sure if high school seniors in the states go on school trips--i'm not american--but nevertheless i will include it for the sake of the plot. the senior trip is a huge deal at Golden Beach High and Barbie is raring to go bc it'll be the last school trip with her classmates and high school friends and she wants to treasure it as much as possible. instead of just selected people, the entire cohort goes, idc. when Principal Miller announces that they'd be going to Floravia, Barbie doesn't know what to think bc it's such a small country and much of what she knows is from Nikki ranting about its princess, HRH Amelia. but as the trip grows nearer she starts to think of the possibilities; Floravia (in this universe) is one of the happiest countries in the world and they're fairly rich. Barbie, who is compassionate about making the world a better place and has an interest in politics (throwback to Life Can Be A Dream where she dreamt of being mayor while having a college crisis lol) wonders how they do it, as a monarchy no less, and if she can learn from them. maybe she'll end up a law student! that's something exciting to her

Amelia catches wind of Golden Beach High's trip to Floravia through Barbie sharing it on social media, and pesters Alfonso to arrange for them to take a tour of her palace. she decides to accompany them personally and afterwards somehow Barbie and Amelia realize they look alike. they have a little bonding moment where they share their troubles: Barbie struggling to choose a path for life after high school, Amelia struggling to figure out how to go about her duties once she's crowned queen bc it'll be nothing like her princess lessons, both of them keeling under the pressure to live up to their potential and the expectations the people around them have put on them. Amelia will fangirl over her and tell her how lucky she is and Barbie will be like ehh i have too many options and it kinda sucks to have to choose.

then they decide to switch--Barbie wants to find out Floravia's governmental success secrets (Amelia wishes her good luck bc she's gonna need it) and experience a trial run of what it's like to be responsible for a whole country, and Amelia wants to get close and personal with her subjects bc Barbie's school will be touring the country and she can meet the people she's supposedly responsible for. with the added bonus of having an off day where no one can tell her what to do. i imagine this conversation happens in a duet song between them.

to add, Barbie and Amelia have opposing personalities: Barbie is an extrovert who's peppy and loves sharing through her vlog, Amelia is introverted and reserved who's better at emoting through pen and paper than speech--she's an awesome writer, but as much public speaking experience she has, it's mostly scipted bc her speeches were always prepared beforehand, and Alfonso often speaks on her behalf. Barbie tells Amelia that she needs to keep up the vlogging and sharing bc social media algorithms are a bitch and she doesn't want to lose traction. Amelia in turn asks Barbie to impersonate her the best as she can. they do this easily bc Barbie knows Amelia's public image through Nikki's rants, and Amelia through Barbie's vlogs. they both have tiny hiccups in their disguises but for the most part it goes pretty well at first.

through filming Barbie's vlogs, Amelia learns to improvise and articulate her thoughts into words out loud. it's freeing being able to say what she wants. and since she's interacting directly with her subjects, she finds out that they're struggling in some way. this has her ruminate on why that is, then it finally clicks why Alfonso doesn't want her to share certain aspects of her rule to the public--the old-time methods were SHADY and didn't benefit the kingdom as much as it claims to. it is here that she slowly takes the image of her parents off the pedestal she put them on--if they allowed these rules to stay in place, then they were compliant. some of the more political subjects were planning to storm the castle and demand justice on her coronation.

meanwhile, Barbie finally understands why Amelia is so stressed all the time; keeping up a flawless public image while running a country is hard. the few times she breaks character as Amelia, she speaks out against Alfonso's unfairness (which raises questions amongst the grand council bc last they checked Princess Amelia wasn't bold enough to go against the royal adviser), and her being too friendly with commoners earns her a lecture. Johan also gets suspicious and figures out she's an imposter during the pre-coronation party, but agrees to keep their secret. Barbie learns she's not interested enough in politics and law to see herself doing it in the long run, but she was having a lot of fun getting into character and posing as Amelia. she's always liked acting, but this switcheroo was making her seriously think about pursuing performance arts as a career. after being subject to Alfonso's screentime limitations, she also learns that she doesn't have to share everything online, she can just enjoy life without seeing it through a screen. she noticed she was starting to get superficial about keeping up her own social media image, and decided she needs to take a step back.

the climax has them both getting caught for switching places; Barbie is detained while they go track Amelia down using Golden Beach High's trip itinerary that Barbie has on her. maybe this is the part where Barbie does a sorrowful ballad reprise of Try It On for emphasis, bc her indecisiveness about her path in life is what got her into this mess in the first place. Amelia catches wind of this through Johan, and with his help she evades them until the coronation, where she rebels against Alfonso and exposes the monarchy's unethical activities, pledging to do better to the riot crowds that rallied around the palace gates. she decides her first act as queen was to reform specific policies and proves to Alfonso that old does not always mean better. she "tries on" new laws and conducts amendments.

as for Barbie, she was released and went home deciding to apply for Handler Arts Academy in NYC ;) and Ken confesses to her in this movie idc!! Amelia was playing wingwoman throughout the trip!!

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Thirty-Eight

Table of Content or Part Thirty-Seven

Read here on wattpad

A/N: Question — what song do you think of when you think of Nikki and Viv? I'm trying to see something

Word count: 3.3k

Warning(s): Explicit language, Sexual situations, Drug abuse

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My bare feet hook underneath his thighs the second I realize he's about to  finish and he gives a crooked smirk up at me, his breathing beginning to shallow.

Nikki holds my hips still, groaning out as his cum coats the inside of me, causing me to let out a hazey moan, my mind cloudy from our rather lengthy round.

Once he's finished, I'm getting off of him and falling beside him, catching my breath as we recover is silence fore several minutes.

"Are you on birth control or something?" He asks me out of nowhere and I tense up, looking at him.

"Why're you asking?"

"I've been thinking about it since Vince and Sharise had Skylar, for some reason. I mean, I haven't used a rubber since we started dating and most of the time I don't pull out, and we've only had one pregnancy scare in the past, what, like, four years?"

"You've managed to keep track of how long we've been together?" I ask him, pretending to be shocked and he gently hits my arm with the back of his hand, and I chuckle, rolling over to face him, my lips pressing to his bicep for a moment.

I think I'm in the clear, dodging his question, but I'm not.

"I'm being serious, Viv, are you on something or...?" He asks and I lick my lips.

"Maybe my antidepressant affects fertility, I don't know." I shrug, lying through my teeth. "Drugs can cause issues on your end, too, so maybe that's another reason."

"Oh." He replies.

I avoid looking at him, sitting up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed before reaching down to grab his shirt by my feet.

You know those lies, that start simple and small, and then snowball more and more over time and explode in flames from hell that melt the snow and turn it into scalding hot water that leaves third-degree burns on the person that's being lied to? Yeah, we both had lots of those, and that was one of mine.

I

take a shower and brush my teeth, excited for my plans tonight, and as I start putting makeup up on, Nikki's getting in the shower.

"Are you and Robin going out tonight?" I ask him.

"Uh, yeah. Sparkie's coming, too." He replies and I roll my eyes.

I know they'll go out to a club and hide in the bathroom, shooting up and snorting blow a  majority of the time, only leaving to get some drinks.

"My doctor was really curious as to why I needed a refill so soon being that he gave me a month supply a week before Sparkie traded it." I comment to remind him Sparkie's a piece of shit.

"Sparkie learned his lesson, baby." He tells me in a half-chuckle and I raise my brows at myself in the mirror and turn the sink on.

"Jesus fuck, Viv!" He screams, being bombarded with ice cold water for a moment.

"Awe, I'm sorry, maybe Sparkie can sympathize with you." I reply smartly.

He's getting out of the shower, covered in suds, glaring at me, and I take off running with him chasing close behind.

"Spoiled brat!" He calls at me, the both of us naked as jaybirds.

"Trader bastard!" I say back, right before he catches me, pulling me against his wet, soapy body, his hands not skipping a moment to start tickling me.

I squeal, the both of us falling to the floor, my feet and legs kicking out of instinct.

"Don't you do it." He threatens. "Remember what happened last time."

"Not my fault you're a pussy." I reply, immediately regretting it when he starts tickling me again, this time, getting on top of me to pin me down.

He doesn't let up until I'm laughing so hard I'm in tears, and he's tired of struggling with me.

We look at each other for a minute, before he grins and kisses me.

"I gotta finish getting ready." He tells me, getting off of me and helping me up.

"Yeah, I do, too."

I decided a nice trip to Malibu would be a great thing for GN'R. I mean, go to Tansy's house there, have her invite over some of her single girl friends to mingle with the guys, stay over night so they don't have to worry about whether or not they'd be able to crash at their stripper friends' apartment and sleep on the floor that night, have a nice breakfast together the next morning, and just give Axl and Izzy time to really get to know Tansy, because they haven't hung out with her very much, while Slash, Duff and Steven see her almost more than I do.

I glance around the living room of Tansy's Malibu beach house, seeing beach bunnies all around with perfectly tanned skin, bombshell hair and perfect smiles, then look at Steven and Slash, who seem to be having a pretty good time.

They both look like they're in heaven, girls on either side of them, obviously fans of their work on the Sunset Strip back in L.A.

Izzy took a girl up to the guest bedroom long ago, while Axl's just nursing a bottle of Jack, with a beautiful brunette chattering his ear off while he's pretending not to care about what Tansy's doing as she talks to one of her girl friends across the room.

I do a mental head count, and notice my 6'4 blonde is nowhere to be seen.

Maybe he found a girl or two of his own and followed in Izzy's footsteps, taking over a spare room?

I brush it off, deciding it's none of my business and step to the kitchen to grab a Pepsi out of the fridge. 

When I pass by the doors that lead to the balcony over looking the ocean, though, I see the outline of someone sitting in the lounge chair. 

Recognizing the slender frame, I grab my soda and head outside, Duff looking over his shoulder to see who I am, before smiling at me innocently, bottle of Vodka by his foot and pack of Marlboros on one knee as a sketch pad and pen are being supported by his other.

"Hi." I say as he scoots over to make room for me. "Mr. Social Butterfly." I add, sarcastically.

"Hey." He replies, moving his Vodka over so I won't knock it down with my foot.

"I figured you be eating that up." I motion to the door, referring to the gorgeous girls inside and he chuckles a little.

"I don't know, I haven't really been feeling chicks lately." He tells me and I furrow my brows a little.

"Well, I'm sure she has some boy friends, too, if you're feeling something different." I inform him, knowing what he meant, but he laughs and shakes his head.

"Not like that, Viv." He tells me and I pull my red hair behind my shoulders to get it out of my face, before taking a sip of my drink. "I've been, uh, working on something new, kinda. The lyrics have been going off left and right in my head, I just thought I'd better get somewhere quiet and write them down before I lose them." He explains, holding up his notepad.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I feel like I've intruded, or messed up his groove, about to leave him alone to finish but he puts his hand on my knee to stop me from standing up.

"No, no, it's fine." He insists, taking his hand off of me, not thinking anything of it, despite me feeling warmth radiate from where he touched me.

I ignore it.

"I've already gotten everything I had in mind, so far." He explains. "Just a verse and chorus."

"What's the name of it?" I ask, and he scratches the back of his neck.

"I don't know if I need to tell you. I'm superstitious about this stuff, Viv." He tells me, even though he's completely full of shit.

He just wants to aggravate me.

"It's just the title, Duff. You let me hear you say 'turn around, bitch, I gotta use for you' and this can't be worse than that." I point out and he chuckles, licking his lips before looking at me.

His hand covers the lyrics, exposing the title line of the page.

"Paradise City" is scribbled in his writing and I smile when he moves his hand and let's me read  the chorus, and verse that he's gotten so far, a giant smile pulling at my lips.

"Who the hell inspired this?" I ask him, raising my brows.

"Nobody particular." He shrugs. "You like it?"

"I already love it." I tell him.

Not to compare two completely different bands who earned their names all on their own, but there are a few song parallels between Guns N' Rose's Appetite for Destruction, and Mötley Crüe's Girls, Girls, Girls albums.

Guns' Welcome to the Jungle was like Mötley's Wild Side. Paradise City was like Girls, Girls, Girls. Mr. Brownstone was like Dancing on Glass. But my favorite parallel has to be Sweet Child O Mine and You're All I Need.

I remember Nikki had given me a tape of You're All I Need after we got into a massive argument because he thought I was spending too much time with Duff. But he had practically accused me of having feelings for Duff, and even acting on them (which was pretty hypocritical being that he'd been screwing Vanity since 1986 at that point.)

A few weeks later, Nikki convinced me to come down to the studio so he could personally give me a copy of a song he had written me, and me--being excited--decided I wanted the guys to hear it, too.

I went to the Franklin Plaza where Steven, Duff, Slash, Izzy and Axl were hanging out, discussing a meeting they'd had with their label.

When I told them Nikki wrote a love song about me (thinking it was his way of trying to patch up our marriage and say to the world "I love this woman") the guys had to hear it, not believing me.

The ballad started beautifully, tears coming to my eyes, but my warmed heart quickly began boiling in my chest by the time the second chorus ended.

"I don't think this is a love song." Izzy stated, while shaking his head a little.

"Yeah, uh...he's talking about killing you." Axl had told me, everyone seemed slightly disturbed.

"Your girlfriends get Sweet Child O Mine and what does the dedicated wife that has done nothing but love this sick bastard get?! A song dedicated to his deep desire to murder me!"

"Dude, hasn't he actually tried to kill you before?" Steven asked.

Which made the song even more ironic, along with the last line of the chorus, "and I loved you but you didn't love me" which in itself was slap in the fucking face.

I didn't hear the full song at that time because Duff had took it out of the player and stomped it under his cowboy boot.

That pretty much set the tone for the months to come.

"You're also incredibly biased." He replies in the same tone and I nudge him with my elbow.

"You don't know how many songs I have actually had to tear out of Nikki's hand and hide them from him because they were so bad I just could not allow them to be recorded." I tell him.

"Oh, please." He brushes me off.

"Have you heard 'Theater of Pain'?" I ask him with raised brows.

"Yeah."

"Home Sweet Home and Smokin' in the Boy's Room were the only really good ones. And Smokin' in the Boy's Room was a cover. The other songs were songs I didn't know were written, or I would have hid them from him, too." I state and he tries not to laugh, but fails, making himself snort, which kickstarts my laughter. 

Once we settle down, he clears his throat, and gets a kind of serious expression on his face.

"I really wish he wasn't on that shit, Viv." He tells me and I don't even have to ask who he's talking about. "I mean, I'm not judging him or whatever because Izzy and Slash are in on that stuff, too, but...I just hate to see he's on it, because it's kinda hard to manage it once you hit a certain point, ya know?" He asks and I nod a little. "I think he's a pretty cool guy...so it sucks to see him act like that."

"It's not that bad, right now." I tell him, completely in denial. "He's still Nikki, he just does stuff he's not suppose to. That's nothing new to me."

"I'm just a little worried, is all." He admits.

"There's no need to be." I reassure him. "He's got a handle on things."

Dear God did I eat those words a week later in Dallas, Texas.

It's like watching a fucking car accident. 

Except instead of a car, it's my husband, and instead of a car accident, it's him losing his ever loving mind, crouched on the hotel room desk, as he babbles on, making absolutely no sense as he shouts at his parents who aren't even present.

I just came back from the pool, got a shower, and came in to him doing this.

"Nikki!" I try to get him out of whatever drug-induced show he's on.

"I'm not me! I'm not Nikki! I'm someone else!" He insists, hands yanking at his hair, his eyes completely taken over by an entirely different beast. 

I panic, immediately calling Fred.

"The fuck is wrong?!" He asks when I open the door, hearing Nikki's screaming and carrying on and I try to keep the absolute fear that's locking up my system from showing.

"I-I don't know. I got in from the pool and he was kinda jittery but I thought he'd done some blow, but then he started screaming when I was in the shower and now he's--"

Fred gets tired of hearing Nikki's meaningless shrieks at people who aren't in the room with us, and snatches him off the desk.

Nikki hits the floor, and a switch is flipped, sending him into strong convulsions, opting thick, white foam to pour from his mouth.

"Fuck, Sixx!" Fred lets out, turning him on his side. "Get me a roll of toilet-paper." He barks at me and I do as I'm told, saying a very colorful, silent prayer in my head. 

He tries to get Nikki to bite down on it to keep him from biting his tongue, but Nikki can't do it. screaming instead.

When I think I can't take the confused, scared, out-of-character shrill, it's like God himself knocks Nikki out, leaving Fred and I in complete silence, riddled with what just happened.

Fred checks his pulse and sighs in relief, looking at me.

"Viv, are you alright?" He asks me, taking deep breaths.

"Y-yeah." I say, nodding, even though I know it's written all over my face that I can't be further from "alright."

"Vivian--"

"I just need a second." I tell him, standing up to go to the bathroom, disguising oncoming tears in a strong, steady voice that's physically uncomfortable to push past the lump in my throat.

I lock myself inside the bathroom and turn the water back on, gripping the counter before I find myself in the floor, quiet sobs rocking through me.

I just want my Nikki back...not this tainted demon nesting himself in Nikki's skin, festering his bullshit in Nikki's mind.

By the time I'm worn down from crying, and tired from lying on the bathroom floor, I pull myself up and open the bathroom door, stepping into the room.

I guess Fred put Nikki in the bed before he left, because Nikki's still passed out, just tucked in the covers. 

I get pajamas on, scared to even touch him because I don't want him to start seizing again.

Cautiously getting closer to him, nestling my forehead against his arm, I thank God for the feeling of his pulse under my finger tips in the crook of his arm, and find myself passing out with utter exhaustion.

The next morning, Nikki's really quiet.

I'm not sure if he remembers what happened last night, but I'm not asking him. 

After finding a needle and evidence of an 8-ball of coke, he can lick my twat if he thinks I'm talking to him anytime soon. 

The video shoot for Home Sweet Home is happening today, and a limo picks Nikki and I up at the hotel, driving us to the venue, neither of us acknowledging the other. 

Once we get there, someone's dressing Nikki like a damn toddler, because he's too fucked from last night to dress himself in his done up stage costume.

Nikki was so, so, so, obviously, utterly fucked up when they filmed the music video for Home Sweet Home. 

The entire time, he was chugging Jack to try to calm himself down from a high he later described felt like, "being on acid and speed at the same time" and with the way he was acting like he couldn't see a damn thing, I believe it. 

He kept sunglasses on a majority of the time so people couldn't see how his eye were practically doing cartwheels. 

"Viv, we're about to start, where's Nikki?" His bass tech asks me and I glance around, furrowing my brows a little.

"I haven't seen in him about an hour. He went over there by the stage...at least I think he did." I tell him, stepping over to the last place I saw him. "He was here and..." I trail off, hearing Nikki having a full blown conversation, his voice coming from underneath the stage.

The two of us sit and listen for a moment, realizing Nikki's just talking, taking long pauses, then answering a question that was never asked by anybody, not even himself.

"Who is he talking to?" His tech asks me under his breath so Nikki won't hear.

I roll my jaw, getting fed up.

"Probably the fucking demon he sees and befriends every time he gets high." I state, fully believing that at this point, there is indeed a demon following him around, breathing down his neck, stripping him of his control and cheering him on with each grain of coke, bottle of Jack, cc of heroin and prescription-grade pill.

"Nikki," His tech starts. "Who're you talking to?"

"I'm talking. Leave me alone." Nikki argues.

"Nikki." I state, looking at him. 

It's the first time he's heard my voice all day.

"There's nobody there, baby. C'mon." I motion my hand for him to get out from under the stage.

"Leave me alone!" He snaps at me, nearly hissing.

"Dude, calm down, you're freaking out." His tech tells him. 

"Nikki, get your ass out from under there or so help me God, I will come in and drag you out by your dick." I promise him. 

He puffs up like a pissed off rooster and stomps out, passing by us, grumbling under his breath.

Do you wanna know what was really fucked up about that time? Vince couldn't have a beer without someone losing their mind. He was supposed to be sober. Nikki would bust Vince's balls if he even saw him looking at a bottle...but then Nikki would load anything and everything into his body, simultaneously.

Vince quickly became the odd man out, and had been ever since that night with Razzle. There was this vibe, this tension, that Vince was only kept in the band at that time, because they were getting hotter and hotter, and each member was the ticket to reach their full potential as a band. Each member was important.

Without Tommy, there was no band. Without Mick, there was no band. Without Nikki, there was no band.

And without Vince, there was no band...that was the one that really didn't sit too well with Sikki.