#where Batman can be more self contained. at least the ones I was reading lol

[dentpx]

I want to read spider-island also because it was coming out when I had a subscription to. Something. So I saw ad pages for it constantly. I suspect it is not good but I have to know for sure

[natalie668]

Chapter 2 - Lost Girl

Warnings: will contain smut in future chapters, MFM, FM, sometimes more than 3 people lol. Violence (hello they’re vampires), mentions of drugs. (Paul smoking weed)

This story is going to be at least 30+ chapters. It’s still in its planning stages for the future but I love Lost boys (have since I was little) i need to let you all know that I’m a mother to 2 autistic children and a lot of my time is spent looking after them, but I will try and post at least weekly. Hope that’s ok with you all ❤️❤️ please feel free to post comments I’ll reply to every single one 🖤🖤

As we make our way through the crowds lingering across the boardwalk i can't help but to follow like a lost sheep. I have no clue where we're going but, but surely my soulmate can't be leading me to danger? That's why my legs willingly follow him as he makes his way towards a motorbike.

He gets on, and holds his hand out to me to take hold of, "come on, jump on." He says his eyes baring into my own.

I take a deep breath and pulling my pencil skirt upwards feeling rather self conscious, I get my leg over and secure my arms around his waist. This is my first time on a motorbike and my heart is in my throat. We begin to take off, he goes at a careful speed, we'd been driving for around 15 minutes before we came to a wooden looking house. We pull up the dirt path leading to the front of the home.

He kicks out the stand and slides off, his arms help me get off the bike, a smile now taking over his beautiful features. "This is my home, come on," he says as he leads me through the front door. "My mum should be home soon."

We make our way into what looks like a living room, there's a teenage boy sat on the sofa reading a Batman comic. I can't help but smile seeing a youngster reading.

He looks up from his comic, a frown marring his features, "why have you bought a girl home Mikey, moms not going to be happy." He practically finishes in sing song with a grin on his face.

He pushes his little brother by the shoulder, "Mom will be happy for me. Sammy; meet my soulmate - y/n."

Who i now know as Sam, his mouth opens wide like a gawping fish. He stutters, "Oh my god! Mikeys found his soulmate!?" He says practically vibrating on the spot with excitement. I can't help but to grin and smile at the kid. He seems so happy bless him.

I lean forward extending my hand, "it's nice to meet you Sammy,". We shake hands both of us grinning.

Michael wraps an arm around my shoulders, "well, I'm going to go get to know y/n some more, shout us when mums home." He says as we make our way up the stairs to what I can only assume is his bedroom.

We step into his bedroom and I take in the posters around jotted around on the walls. A single bed is the only thing to sit on in there. He sits himself down making himself comfy, I make my way over slipping my shoes off before climbing onto the bed.

We look at each other taking one another in, “So, what were you doing at the Board walk, you looked a bit lost. And I know I’ve never seen you there.” He says to me as I press my fingers to my lips, I can’t get over how good looking my soulmate is, he’s so handsome.

I look down at my hands, trying to think of what to say, whether to risk telling the truth and scaring my soulmate away or risking him getting me sent to a nut house. Oh sod it, what’s the worst that can happen.

“You’re going to think I’m crazy,” i say as i look up to him, “This morning I was in the year 2024, and I was on my way home from work, and I got hit by lightning and woke up on the sand in 1987.”

I peer up at, him waiting to see his reaction, peering up at him he seems shocked, obviously what else would you expect. “I promise I’m telling the truth, I know it sounds absolutely bonkers but it’s true.” I say as I look into his eyes, they seem to be taking in what I just said.

He leans forward, his fingers pressing to my cheek, he leans in and kisses my forehead, pulling me towards him. "I believe you, why would you lie about something like that." his chin is resting on the top of my head.

I lean in taking in his scent, I can't help but to feel safe in his embrace, snuggling against his chest. He smells me, I can hear his intake of breath breathing me in.

"You'll be ok love, I promise I'll take care of you forever." he says to me, nuzzling his face against me.

"Forever is a long time Michael, are you sure you can promise forever." i say to him grinning against his chest. I feel his chest vibrate with laughter.

"You'll find, we'll all be able to promise you forever, sweetheart." his fingers caress my hair, his fingers running through it.

I pull away from him, confused. "What do you mean we?," i say to him, does he know my other soulmates?

Michael is just about to speak when theres a knock against his bedroom door, "Come in," he says to the person at the door.

A beautiful blonde lady walks in, you hazard a guess that this woman is his mother. "Hi sweetie, it's lovely to finally meet my Michaels soulmate." she says as she rushes over and pulls me into a loving embrace. her warmness and nurturing nature reminds you of your own mother, a mother who would be in her 20s like yourself in 1987, the thought makes your head spin.

I lean into her hug, "Its lovely to meet you too," i say as she pulls back a huge loving smile on her face.

chapter 3

[mcmansionhell]

Coronagrifting: A Design Phenomenon

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled content to bring you a critical essay on the design world. I promise you that this will also be funny. 

This morning, the design website Dezeen tweeted a link to one of its articles, depicting a plexiglass coronavirus shield that could be suspended above dining areas, with the caption “Reader comment: ‘Dezeen, please stop promoting this stupidity.’”

This, of course, filled many design people, including myself, with a kind of malicious glee. The tweet seemed to show that the website’s editorial (or at least social media) staff retained within themselves a scintilla of self-awareness regarding the spread a new kind of virus in its own right: cheap mockups of COVID-related design “solutions” filling the endlessly scrollable feeds of PR-beholden design websites such as Dezeen, ArchDaily, and designboom. I call this phenomenon: Coronagrifting. 

I’ll go into detail about what I mean by this, but first, I would like to presenet some (highly condensed) history. 

From Paper Architecture to PR-chitecture

Back in the headier days of architecture in the 1960s and 70s, a number of architectural avant gardes (such as Superstudio and Archizoom in Italy and Archigram in the UK) ceased producing, well, buildings, in favor of what critics came to regard as “paper architecture.” This “paper architecture” included everything from sprawling diagrams of megastructures, including cities that “walked” or “never stopped” - to playfully erotic collages involving Chicago’s Marina City. Occasionally, these theoretical and aesthetic explorations were accompanied by real-world productions of “anti-design” furniture that may or may not have involved foam fingers. 

Archigram’s Walking City (1964). Source.

Paper architecture, of course, still exists, but its original radical, critical, playful, (and, yes, even erotic) elements were shed when the last of the ultra-modernists were swallowed up by the emerging aesthetic hegemony of Postmodernism (which was much less invested in theoretical and aesthetic futurism) in the early 1980s. What remained were merely images, the production and consumption of which has only increased as the design world shifted away from print and towards the rapidly produced, easily digestible content of the internet and social media. 

Architect Bjarke Ingels’s “Oceanix” - a mockup of an ecomodernist, luxury city designed in response to rising sea levels from climate change. The city will never be built, and its critical interrogation amounts only to “city with solar panels that floats bc climate change is Serious”  - but it did get Ingels and his firm, BIG, a TED talk and circulation on all of the hottest blogs and websites. Meanwhile, Ingels has been in business talks with the right-wing climate change denialist president of Brazil, Jair Bolsonaro. (Image via designboom) 

Design websites are increasingly dominated by text and mockups from the desks of a firm’s public relations departments, facilitating a transition from the paper-architecture-imaginary to what I have begun calling “PR-chitecture.” In short, PR-chitecture is architecture and design content that has been dreamed up from scratch to look good on instagram feeds or, more simply, for clicks.  It is only within this substance-less, critically lapsed media landscape that Coronagrifting can prosper.

Coronagrifting: An Evolution

As of this writing, the two greatest offenders of Coronagrifting are Dezeen, which has devoted an entire section of its website to the virus (itself offering twelve pages of content since February alone) and designboom, whose coronavirus tag contains no fewer than 159 articles. 

Certainly, a small handful of these stories demonstrate useful solutions to COVID-related problems (such as this one from designboom about a student who created a mask prototype that would allow D/deaf and hard of hearing people to read lips) most of the prototypes and the articles about them are, for a lack of a better word, insipid. 

But where, you may ask, did it all start?

One of the easiest (and, therefore, one of the earliest) Coronagrifts involves “new innovative, health-centric designs tackling problems at the intersection of wearables and personal mobility,” which is PR-chitecture speak for “body shields and masks.” 

Wearables and Post-ables

The first example came from Chinese architect Sun Dayong, back at the end of February 2020, when the virus was still isolated in China. Dayong submitted to Dezeen a prototype of a full mask and body-shield that “would protect a wearer during a coronavirus outbreak by using UV light to sterilise itself.” The project was titled “Be a Bat Man.” No, I am not making this up. 

Screenshot of Dayong’s “Be a Batman” as seen on the Dezeen website. 

Soon after, every artist, architect, designer, and sharp-eyed PR rep at firms and companies only tangentially related to design realized that, with the small investment of a Photoshop mockup and some B-minus marketing text, they too could end up on the front page of these websites boasting a large social media following and an air of legitimacy in the field. 

By April, companies like Apple and Nike were promising the use of existing facilities for producing or supplying an arms race’s worth of slick-tech face coverings. Starchitecture’s perennial PR-churners like Foster + Partners and Bjarke Ingels were repping “3D-printed face shields”, while other, lesser firms promised wearable vaporware like “grapheme filters,” branded “skincare LED masks for encouraging self-development” and “solar powered bubble shields.” 

While the mask Coronagrift continues to this day, the Coronagrifting phenomenon had, by early March, moved to other domains of design. 

Consider the barrage of asinine PR fluff that is the “Public Service Announcement” and by Public Service Announcement, I mean “A Designer Has Done Something Cute to Capitalize on Information Meant to Save Lives.” 

Some of the earliest offenders include cutesy posters featuring flags in the shape of houses, ostensibly encouraging people to “stay home;” a designer building a pyramid out of pillows ostensibly encouraging people to “stay home”; and Banksy making “lockdown artwork” that involved covering his bathroom in images of rats ostensibly encouraging people to “stay home.” 

Lol. Screenshot from Dezeen. 

You may be asking, “What’s the harm in all this, really, if it projects a good message?” And the answer is that people are plenty well encouraged to stay home due to the rampant spread of a deadly virus at the urging of the world’s health authorities, and that these tone-deaf art world creeps are using such a crisis for shameless self promotion and the generation of clicks and income, while providing little to no material benefit to those at risk and on the frontlines.

Of course, like the mask coronagrift, the Public Service Announcement coronagrift continues to this very day. 

The final iteration of Post-able and Wearable Coronagrifting genres are what I call “Passive Aggressive Social Distancing Initiatives” or PASDIs. Many of the first PASDIs were themselves PSAs and art grifts, my favorite of which being the designboom post titled “social distancing applied to iconic album covers like the beatle’s abbey road.” As you can see, we’re dealing with extremely deep stuff here. 

However, an even earlier and, in many ways more prescient and lucrative grift involves “social distancing wearables.” This can easily be summarized by the first example of this phenomenon, published March 19th, 2020 on designboom: 

Never wasting a single moment to capitalize on collective despair, all manner of brands have seized on the social distancing wearable trend, which, again, can best be seen in the last example of the phenomenon, published May 22nd, 2020 on designboom:

We truly, truly live in Hell. 

Which brings us, of course, to living. 

“Architectural Interventions” for a “Post-COVID World”

As soon as it became clear around late March and early April that the coronavirus (and its implications) would be sticking around longer than a few months, the architectural solutions to the problem came pouring in. These, like the virus itself, started at the scale of the individual and have since grown to the scale of the city. (Whether or not they will soon encompass the entire world remains to be seen.) 

The architectural Coronagrift began with accessories (like the designboom article about 3D-printed door-openers that enable one to open a door with one’s elbow, and the Dezeen article about a different 3D-printed door-opener that enables one to open a door with one’s elbow) which, in turn, evolved into “work from home” furniture (”Stykka designs cardboard #StayTheF***Home Desk for people working from home during self-isolation”) which, in turn, evolved into pop-up vaporware architecture for first responders (”opposite office proposes to turn berlin's brandenburg airport into COVID-19 'superhospital'”), which, in turn evolved into proposals for entire buildings (”studio prototype designs prefabricated 'vital house' to combat COVID-19″); which, finally, in turn evolved into “urban solutions” aimed at changing the city itself (a great article summarizing and criticizing said urban solutions was recently written by Curbed’s Alissa Walker).

There is something truly chilling about an architecture firm, in order to profit from attention seized by a global pandemic, logging on to their computers, opening photoshop, and drafting up some lazy, ineffectual, unsanitary mockup featuring figures in hazmat suits carrying a dying patient (macabrely set in an unfinished airport construction site) as a real, tangible solution to the problem of overcrowded hospitals; submitting it to their PR desk for copy, and sending it out to blogs and websites for clicks, knowing full well that the sole purpose of doing so consists of the hope that maybe someone with lots of money looking to commission health-related interiors will remember that one time there was a glossy airport hospital rendering on designboom and hire them. 

Enough, already. 

Frankly, after an endless barrage of cyberpunk mask designs, social distancing burger king crowns, foot-triggered crosswalk beg buttons that completely ignore accessibility concerns such as those of wheelchair users, cutesy “stay home uwu” projects from well-to-do art celebrities (who are certainly not suffering too greatly from the economic ramifications of this pandemic), I, like the reader featured in the Dezeen Tweet at the beginning of this post, have simply had enough of this bullshit. 

What’s most astounding to me about all of this (but especially about #brand crap like the burger king crowns) is that it is taken completely seriously by design establishments that, despite being under the purview of PR firms, should frankly know better. I’m sure that Bjarke Ingels and Burger King aren’t nearly as affected by the pandemic as those who have lost money, jobs, stability, homes, and even their lives at the hands of COVID-19 and the criminally inept national and international response to it. On the other hand, I’m sure that architects and designers are hard up for cash at a time when nobody is building and buying anything, and, as a result, many see resulting to PR-chitecture as one of the only solutions to financial problems. 

However, I’m also extremely sure that there are interventions that can be made at the social, political, and organizational level, such as campaigning for paid sick leave, organizing against layoffs and for decent severance or an expansion of public assistance, or generally fighting the rapidly accelerating encroachment of work into all aspects of everyday life – that would bring much more good and, dare I say, progress into the world than a cardboard desk captioned with the hashtag #StaytheF***Home. 

Hence, I’ve spent most of my Saturday penning this article on my blog, McMansion Hell. I’ve chosen to run this here because I myself have lost work as a freelance writer, and the gutting of publications down to a handful of editors means that, were I to publish this story on another platform, it would have resulted in at least a few more weeks worth of inflatable, wearable, plexiglass-laden Coronagrifting, something my sanity simply can no longer withstand. 

So please, Dezeen, designboom, others – I love that you keep daily tabs on what architects and designers are up to, a resource myself and other critics and design writers find invaluable – however, I am begging, begging you to start having some discretion with regards to the proposals submitted to you as “news” or “solutions” by brands and firms, and the cynical, ulterior motives behind them. If you’re looking for a guide on how to screen such content, please scroll up to the beginning of this page. 

----

If you enjoyed this article, please consider subscribing to my Patreon, as I didn’t get paid to write it.  

[jenguerrero]

#saminnosrat #saltfatacidheat

I have a *massive* food crush on Samin Nosrat.     She has the enthusiasm and food joy of Julia Child.     She’s a natural teacher.     She doesn’t want to impress you, but rather wants to demystify everything about the kitchen so that you can cook well. And by you, I mean everybody.     She doesn’t want you to follow exact directions.     She wants you to actually understand. That’s pretty powerful stuff!

I first picked up the audiobook of Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat and listened right through. I couldn’t turn it off. I thought Claire Danes was narrating it. No, that’s Samin. They are voice doppelgangers. I got to the end and she referenced some chart printouts you can access online and mentioned that the physical book has recipes to practice the principles of the book. What?! Now I had to pick up a physical copy, too. <I totally raised a judgy eyebrow.> No matter. I’ve listened to the audio book 4 times now, so I think I can safely say I got my money’s worth.

That physical book. It has really cool charts in it. I’m a little herb and spice obsessed, so I didn’t need the global flavor wheel, but a noob to international cooking would have a blast with it. There’s a salting calendar, basic salt volume ballpark numbers, an international fat wheel, and an international acid wheel. All of those can be printed from the audio book link. Then there are the recipes. What skill do you want to practice? She lists the skills and a few recipes to choose from to practice those. Those are just in the physical book.

Then there’s the show. So far, it’s wonderfully entertaining. You will love Samin. She is crazy loveable. Her joy is contagious. She’ll make you curious and you’ll want to try everything. Her guests are terrific. The places and topics are fascinating. And her expressions!!! She looks like a kid shocked by the perfect gift when she gets impressive ice cream in her mouth! ❤ But it’s not super actionable and educational, like the book – yet. I hope it will be. It would be wonderful if she continues with episodes cooking with us and explaining what you should be looking for and what she is seeing the whole time.

Who’s the book for? Anyone who wants their food to taste its best. The only people I think it wouldn’t be for are those that eat to live, and don’t actually care how it tastes as long as they’re being fueled appropriately. I’ve heard they exist. LOL!

I tried some of the recipes, and they were wonderful. I didn’t ask for permission to share one, though. Duplicating a set of exact steps is not what she’s about. She wants to convince everyone to taste constantly and thoughtfully.

Her fettucine alfredo was wonderful. Simmering and reducing the heavy cream by half without it bubbling up over the edges was the only challenge. (Salt and fat lessons)

Her buttermilk chicken. (This one hits all four lesson boxes – salt, fat, acid, and heat.) Holy wonderful chicken, batman! You spend 5 minutes (if that) getting it salted and into its marinade the night before. Then you let it come to room temp while the oven preheats, and it spends an hour in there, being moved once. Perfectly seasoned, super moist chicken. Zero effort. I made it a second time on the rotisserie on my grill out back. Flippin’ irresistible!

Persian-ish rice. (Heat lesson) Okay, I watched her do this one on the show and she  motioned to her big nonstick pot with a lid and said, “Every Persian Mama has one of these big pots from TJ-Maxx to make their rice.” I wasn’t going to argue with every Persian Mama, so I ran over to TJ-Maxx and bought one, too. Then I opened the book, and she makes it in a cast-iron skillet in there. <Don’t tell my husband that the pot was unnecessary, okay?> It worked beautifully, so I’m glad I picked it up. There are slight differences between the show and her book, which really highlights that she’s working with basic ideas rather than committing to how something’s done, and that she goes with her cooking mood a bit. Samin uses a yogurt blended in with a shallow layer of rice at the bottom and wraps the lid in a towel. I remember using America’s Test Kitchen’s recipe before and they did the exact same thing. The first time I had Persian rice with tahdig was at a girlfriend’s house, and she did not use any yogurt. Maybe that’s why Samin is calling this Persian-ish rice? Anyway. Her method is really easy and it’s fantastic! My tahdig came out in one perfect piece the second time. <happy eyebrow bounce> I stirred the steeped saffron right into the rice that time so it would be evenly blended. (top layer, not the bit pulled to the side and mixed with yogurt)

  Bean and roasted veg salad. Okay, this is my favorite so far, but it’s not why you think. I learned something with this dish. Clearly, acid is where I could stand improvement. She has you soak beans overnight, then cook them in simmering water with a splash of olive oil, a few bay leaves, and a sprinkle of salt til they’re done. They should be creamy all the way through, but not defeated. She doesn’t give the timing and wants you to test until you understand. (For noobs, I’ll mention that it should be somewhere in the neighborhood of an hour so that you don’t bite a raw bean at 30 minutes.) She has you make a very acidic dressing for it, using more red wine vinegar than olive oil. Soak shallots in the vinegar at first to take their raw sharpness out, like you do in dishes with a Spanish influence. It should make you pucker from the sour punch. Once it was on the beans, it was perfect. I was thrilled, because I would have used way too little acid, and that took them from boring to craveable. Kisses to Samin for that one! She has you roast broccoli (she uses Romanesco, but it costs 3 times as much as regular and wasn’t looking particularly fresh at my grocer that day, so I went with plain old broccoli), cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, and carrots tossed in olive oil and salt and spread on separate pans – or at least separate ends of pans – at about 425 F until they are nicely browned. She doesn’t give a time because she wants the cook to watch for done-ness instead of an arbitrary time that would have varying results from one house and oven to the next.  You plate it with the vegetables loosely layered, then the beans, a sprinkle of za’tar (careful if you’re a Penzey’s head, because it has salt in it and Samin’s didn’t) and then fatty feta cheese and piles of herbs (it looked like cilantro, dill, and mint. I had parsley, too, so that joined the party) right in the center. She finishes it with Maldon salt. It’s glorious. Make this the next time you’re entertaining vegetarian friends. Or skip the feta for vegans. It’s a great punch of flavor, but the salad definitely doesn’t *need* it. This one’s not in the book. Or on the website (yet), so it’s particularly fun to play with, because you have to learn to trust yourself and taste thoughtfully as you go along to make it. The only thing I did differently the second time was make it a bit bigger. I had dreams of leftovers….

Go watch that show! And get that book! You’ll hug me for it. Have you seen it? What’s your favorite so far?

<Okay, I apologize for the weird spacing for emphasis in the first paragraph. My husband was laughing at me because I was restraining my need to put an exclamation point at the end of each sentence. It’s very difficult to contain all this foodthusiasm. We went and listened to David Sedaris speak a few years back and between stories he was chatting. One of his little sidebars was about the overuse of the word awesome in America. I sat listening, cringing with self-awareness of my guilt with that one. I spent the next month biting my lip to keep the “awesomes” from falling out. I read on Facebook, listened at dinner club, and book club, and the awesomes were everywhere. Sometimes, awesome is the most appropriate word, though, isn’t it??? I know that if I stick an exclamation point at the end of everything for emphasis, nothing is emphasized.>

I’m an Amazon affiliate. Any time you use one of my links to make a purchase, Amazon gives me a tiny percentage. Thank you!

Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat – Hardcover

Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat – Audiobook

I have a massive food crush on Samin Nosrat. Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat. #saminnosrat #saltfatacidheat I have a *massive* food crush on Samin Nosrat.     She has the enthusiasm and food joy of Julia Child.     

[surveyhoursss]

150.

Character survey:

Your name is unusual where you live.

People often say you are attractive.

You tend to deny compliments that you get.

Other people of your same gender are jealous of your looks.

Your natural hair color is unusual or rare.

Your natural eye color is unusual or rare.

You strongly resemble a certain famous person.

Despite poor eating and/or exercise habits, you are still thin.

Sometimes people worry that you're anorexic, but you're not.

You are cross-cultural. (your parents are from two different countries).

You are half- or part -Oriental.

Even after getting dirty or sweaty, you still look good.

You smell good without cologne, perfume, et cetera.

You have at least one scar with an interesting story behind how you got it.

You have at least one scar or birthmark that is plainly, obviously visible, but doesn't make you look ugly.

When you stare at people or off into space, they almost always (A) feel like you're staring into their soul or reading their mind, (B) think you're up to something, or (C) feel like you know something they either don't know or don't want you to tell.

You don't often get sick.

You often dress impractically (i.e. show up looking gorgeous to a charity event or marathon, somewhere you'd usually dress sloppy and casual).

You stand up for others, even if it means risking your own well-being.

You are brave or daring to the point of recklessness.

Your beliefs are extremely, radically liberal.

You are sarcastic and witty.

You are disrespectful to authority, but only when they deserve it.

You are punished more harshly than others.

You have Antisocial Personality Disorder.

You have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) or ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder).

You are SELF-DIAGNOSED with ADD or ADHD.

Animals love you.

You have a pet cat.

You consider yourself above average intelligence.

You have a glamorous occupation (i.e. lawyer, executive, anything artistic or theatrical, et cetera).

You are a legal adult, have not reached retirement age, and don't have to work for a living.

You fit a certain stereotype (nerd, goth, hipster, "popular" person, et cetera).

You have a very good singing voice.

You play at least one musical instrument.

You have exceptional artistic talent.

Sometimes it seems like you're psychic or telepathic.

You are fluent or near-fluent in more than one language.

You succeed at almost anything you put your mind to.

Your Plan A usually works.

Most everyone underestimates you.

People are jealous of your abilities. (only linguistic skills, I'm not the talented goddess that my close friends are lol)

You have learned martial arts (any kind).

Your parent(s) or guardian(s) aren't (or weren't) very strict.

You possess an important family heirloom.

Your parents trust you, for the most part.

You have a lot of friends and/or are "popular.”

You are angsty.

Certain circumstances of your childhood were strange or unusual.

You suffer "rebellious princess syndrome" (feminism, extreme tomboyishness, et cetera).

You have lied, exaggerated, or de-exaggerated in some of your answers in this quiz to avoid seeming like you're bragging.

TOTAL: 24/50

~ ~ ~

RESULTS

1-9: CAMEO

You're not the sort of person who could be the protagonist of a book or movie, but you're certainly the sort of down-to-earth, matter-of-fact person I'd like to be friends with. You're the "filler characters" who make books and movies possible and probably have their own cool stories going on in the background that we don't know about (but we sure would like to!). Unless you answered "yes" to the bonus question, in which case, you liar, go take the quiz again.

EXAMPLE: Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, Mai or Ty Lee from Avatar: The Last Airbender

10-19: PROTAGONIST'S BEST FRIEND OR ANTAGONIST'S RIGHT-HAND (WO)MAN

You're more the "protagonist's best friend" than the "protagonist." But that's okay, because the "protagonist's best friend" usually ends up being everyone's favorite character anyways. Why? Because you're the guy everyone can relate to - and, more importantly, you're often the comic relief AND, at times, you're what keeps the plot chugging forward. This category also contains the heroes who have to try extra hard to save the day, like, harder than the average hero (an offhand example of this is Megamind).

EXAMPLES: Hermione Granger or Ron Weasley from Harry Potter, Jack Harkness from Doctor Who

20-29: PROTAGONIST OR ANTAGONIST

You're a good, healthy medium. In a nutshell, you're worth paying attention to: dramatic, but not melodramatic, and different, but not overwhelmingly so. I...should really write a longer description for this, but I'm really tired, so I won't. Just...skip to the examples.

EXAMPLES: Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender, Dan Phantom from Danny Phantom

30-39: EPIC HERO

An "epic hero" is the protagonist of a story that fits the general "hero's journey cycle.” Epic heroes tend to act a tad more on the unrealistic side (maybe melodramatic, perhaps not always reacting to situations like a normal human being, doing arguably stupid things for the sake of a good cause and in the name of courage / honor / love / family / friendship), but they make up the bulk of really good stories out there. Why? Because epic heroes are interesting, they're dynamic - epic heroes are who we wish we could be, but never actually could be.

EXAMPLES: Harry Potter from Harry Potter, Luke Skywalker from Star Wars, any protagonist who falls into an obvious trap in order to save someone they love

40-51: MARY SUE

Congratulations - you are a perfect (or near-perfect) specimen of human being. Can I have your autograph? But really. Mary Sues are annoying as hell in fiction BECAUSE they're perfect - they're that person you'd give anything to switch lives with. You know. THAT person. There's only one person in existence who generates more jealousy than a Mary Sue, and that is Batman. Because he's Batman!

EXAMPLES: Lily Evans from Harry Potter, Astrid from How to Train Your Dragon, Annabeth from Percy Jackson & the Olympians