#whenever they tell me i should go outside more /j

[artcayt]

Little poster thing of SCP 001: When Day Breaks cause its rotting my brain

[nadinebrooks]

hii I was wondering if you could do a harry j potter x fem!reader fluffy oneshot (takes place in hbp) where they’re just chilling in Harry’s dorm cuddling and harry tells the reader how much he loves her and he’s like touchy touchy cuddly kisses pecks all over the face whispering sweet nothings, etc. I think it’d be very cute<3 also I’m sorry if you don’t understand something but English isn’t my first language (me crying in poland rn cause it’s just fucking hard to not make any mistakes) anyway I hope you understood. have a nice night or day idk in poland it’s night. thank you!!

Here is the link to my masterlist.

Harry Potter x Reader: Ray of Light

Warnings: Tons of fluff

As the late afternoon sunlight filtered through the windows of the Gryffindor Tower, it cast a warm glow across the room. You sat comfortably in Harry’s dorm room while leaning against a pile of pillows on his bed. The two of you had decided to spend some time away from the worries and dark secrets that currently plagued the corridors of Hogwarts. 

As the moments ticked by in comfortable silence, Harry was lazily flipping through the pages of his Potions textbook that had been upgraded by the Half-Blood Prince. Whenever he got some extra time, he loved to flip through the contents of his book and read over new potions and spells.

Momentarily glancing up from the book, he couldn’t help but be captivated by your beauty. The way that the sunlight trickled in from the window danced across her face highlighting everything that Harry deemed to be perfect. 

On top of that there was your unwavering support. You had stood by him since day one. Through thick and thin. The way you made him feel grounded when it seemed like everything else was falling apart. 

He decided that today was the day. He was going to muster up the courage to tell you exactly how he felt. The truth had been living within his heart for what felt like years now. He slowly closed the book and placed it on his bedside table and turned to face you. His emerald eyes were filled with unspoken longing. 

“(y/n), there’s something I need to tell you.” His voice was soft, but it was filled with emotion. 

“What’s up Harry?” You pushed yourself up from the pile of pillows and met his gaze filled with curiosity and anticipation. 

“You mean the world to me. I never thought I would find someone who understands me like you do. I’ve dealt with a lot of darkness in my life. More than anyone should have to deal with. And you have been my ray of light.” He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this vulnerable with someone. The fact that the sunshine was now trickling across the both of you made this moment even better. 

Your heart skipped a beat and the feeling of warmth filled your entire body. You had held on to your feelings for Harry just as long as he had, but you never dared to reveal them out of fear or rejection or even complicating the friend group. 

“I’ve felt the same way for so long, Harry.” You reached across the bed and gently grabbed his hand. Your voice was barely audible, but they carried the weight of sincerity. 

As both of your words hung in the air, any sort of tension evaporated and was replaced with a sense of comfort. You scooted closer to him, wrapping your arms around him and pulled him in closer. Without even thinking about it, he instantly leaned into your embrace. You rested your head against his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart. The world outside faded away and left only the two of you embarrassing. 

“With everything going on with Voldemort, I couldn’t do this without you by my side.” Harry’s fingertips brushed against your cheek. His touch was as light as a feather.

“You don’t have to do any of this alone Harry. I’m going to be there for whatever you need.” You assured him. There was a flicker of gratitude in his eyes as he rested his forehead against yours. It felt as if the world had conspired to bring you together at this very moment. 

“I love you (y/n). I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have someone like you in my life.” He admitted, his voice was a mere whisper. Wrapped in each other’s arms, you felt a sense of serenity, as if the chaos of the world couldn’t reach you here. 

These three words hung in the air and carried a profound weight that echoed through the room. It was a declaration that went past the boundaries of friendship. In the stillness of the moment, Harry pressed a gentle kiss against your forehead, his lips lingered against your skin. 

As the sun began to dip behind the horizon, you and Harry remained entwined. You know that as long as you had each other, it didn’t matter what was going to happen in the future. 

[pascaloverx]

Hit The Road

Chapter Seven

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Summary: You are a hunter of supernatural beings who is forced to experience a new reality: being a vampire. The only thing stronger than your thirst for blood is your thirst for revenge.

Author's note: the characters mentioned here were created by Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec, based on the book series of the same name by author L. J. Smith. They don't belong to me. That said, this fanfic will be short. This fanfic may address scenes of violence, inappropriate language and adult content. Minors should not interact with this story. In this chapter there will be some flashbacks, whenever the lettering style is different; it will be a memory. Also some information here is not in the order of the series or the same way it happened in the series. I'm changing some things to fit the fanfic story. Hope you like it!

You're standing in front of Stefan's car while he's talking to Caroline on the phone. It took about twenty minutes for him to convince her to go get the cure for werewolf. The name Klaus Mikaelson is said a few times during the conversation between Caroline and Stefan. It seems that she finds it curious that Stefan wants her to go after Klaus when she was involved only a short time ago romantically with Stefan. You can't help but think that if Caroline didn't seem to like you when she thought you was involved with Damon, imagine when she finds out that you slept with her ex?

"Caroline, this is much bigger than you and me. It's about saving the lives of two people, one of them is my brother and your best friend's ex. If you can soften Klaus' heart, I would appreciate it." Stefan speaks softly, like he's not nervous but his hands have been shaking since he rescued me and saw the werewolf bite. You are curious about why your imminent death disturbs this Salvatore's mind so much. Maybe he is remembering you, and the past you lived together.

"Thank you so much for agreeing to help, I owe you one. And tell Tyler that I'm in the middle of the highway where I found Damon's car and Y/N. " Stefan speaks seconds before ending the call, while you are standing outside the car admiring the bite mark becomes increasingly ugly on your arm. Your arm hurts like you're burning inside, and it doesn't look the best. You're trying to stay strong, you want to find Damon and help Stefan.

"Do you think she'll be able to talk this guy Mikaelson into helping us?" You ask a little suspicious that someone so powerful would help you in exchange for nothing.

"He will probably ask for something in return, you must be prepared. I don't know if he doesn't know you, if he does You'll probably owe him. But don't worry, I'll do my best to cover you in this." Stefan says, with a confidence that you admire. Maybe his brother and you will end up dying today but he seems to really believe we're going to get out of this.

"Listen, if we don't have another chance... I want you to know that I remembered you. I actually remembered us." You say with a little hope that he will remember you. You don't know how, or why you want him to look at you and say he recognizes you, but you deeply desire that Stefan remember what you felt for each other.

"What exactly did you remember?" Stefan asks, not seeming confused or lost. It appears he wants to know what you recalled because he's curious. Could he have started to believe that you both shared a romance?

"I remembered that you and I had a passion. Something somewhat forbidden because we got involved after I had been with your brother, but I feel like I truly wanted you. My heart seems to remember you more than my memory can convey." You respond hesitantly. You fear he may not have felt the same way or that he may never remember you.

"I also remembered something. You and I in a forest, bathing in a waterfall or something similar. It was like I could feel that moment, as if being with you made me feel alive." Stefan speaks, looking directly at you while he's crouched on the ground, checking the tire, and you're standing with your arms crossed in front of the car.

"I would really like to die knowing how much you meant to me..." You say softly, almost as if speaking to yourself. However, Stefan stands up immediately, facing you. You try to avoid Stefan's gaze by looking away, but he places both hands on your face, directing your gaze back to him.

Stefan doesn't wait another second and passionately kisses you, as if he wants this moment to be unforgettable. You respond to the kiss, running your hands through Stefan's hair. You end up climbing on top of the car, with your legs wrapped around Stefan's waist. At that moment you realized that you missed him, you missed his body close to yours, you missed feeling like he wanted you. The kiss is only interrupted when you hear the sound of a car approaching. Stefan looks over his head and sees someone he knows, as he waves at the person to come closer.

"What's the plan to find your bloodsucking brother?" A man speaks coming towards the two of us as we compose ourselves. When you are about to say something, you feel a weakness take over you, while your conscience drifts away. You lose your breath as you feel your body fall to the ground.

"Love is not something we choose, Stefan. Obviously, I didn't choose to love you and your brother. So don't you dare call me confused." you shout as you angrily walk into the cabin. Stefan is right behind you, trying to hold you back. You slam the cabin door in his face. He follows you into the cabin and you regret the day you let him into it.

"You didn't let me finish talking, but between you and me, it's at least strange that you're in love with me and him. You said yourself that you would never do that." Stefan says while holding your arm, trying to turn you towards him. But you take the wooden stake and it almost sticks in his chest.

"You compared me to the doppelgangers, and then what do you want me to do, suck you under a tree to celebrate the fact that you think I like all this?" You speak furiously but Stefan doesn't take you seriously. He smiles maybe because you mentioned a blowjob or maybe because he likes to irritate you.

"I love it when you get angry and say something dirty like it's nothing. It's just that you don't know what it's like to know that you'll hardly be loved by a woman without her loving your brother." Stefan says, his tone revealing a mix of frustration and vulnerability.

"I love you. Even though it would be easier not to. It would be easier to love your brother and stick to the agreement you and I made to sleep together without getting attached. I'll love you even while loving your brother. Because you're worth the risk. I'm sorry if this isn't ideal for you." You finish speaking with such intensity that you don't feel the tears streaming down your face, but you know you're crying.

"You didn't understand. As bad as it might be, even in hell, your love would be one of the best things that ever happened to me." Stefan says, wiping away your tears. You look at him with such sincerity that you get lost in Stefan's gaze. You then lean in to kiss him. You want him, and even though it's wrong, you want to keep making this mistake.

You wake up again in Stefan's car, in the passenger seat. You're on a dark road that seems to be in the middle of nowhere. You slowly lift your head, feeling a pain coursing through your entire body. Stefan looks apprehensive, even though he's focused on the road. You finally turn fully towards him to let him know that you've regained consciousness.

"You blacked out for an hour, which is quite impressive for a vampire. You also mumbled things, as if dreaming about me, and seemed really upset, so I thought it best to let you rest." Stefan says, glancing sideways at you. His gaze carries a mix of concern and relief as he continues driving along the dark road.

"These visions, when mixed with a bite that's slowly killing me, can be incredibly intense. I almost feel like I'm human again." You say, adjusting yourself in the car seat, while a strange taste lingers in your mouth, as if someone fed you blood while you were unconscious.

"They must have been really intense; you were thrashing against the car seat. I told you it was better for you to stay home." Stefan says, sounding concerned. You find it a bit overprotective but romantic. He keeps driving, maintaining a watchful gaze on the dark road ahead, the worry lingering in his eyes.

"And who will protect you while you play the hero? If I'm going to die, let it be helping what might have been the great loves of my life." You add, the weight of the situation evident in your words. Stefan's expression softens, realizing the gravity of your sacrifice.

The car comes to a sudden stop, startling you. Stefan, who was following the car in front of you, seems to brace for the worst. You realize the warehouse in front of you must be the place where Damon is. Stefan prepares to get out of the car, while you struggle unsuccessfully to exit.

"Stefan, the door is locked. I hope you're not planning on leaving me here." You almost shout, using all the strength you have to try and exit the car with your vampire abilities. Whether it's weakness from the bite or not fully recovering from your fall, you seem unable to get out.

Stefan looks at you, murmuring a "sorry" as if it could make a difference. The humiliation fuels your anger, giving you the willpower to make another attempt at escaping the car. This guy Tyler seems to be helping Stefan with this situation. But something in you says you need to go there. Maybe it's death warning you that you need to go to the Salvatore brothers. You concentrate enough to kick Stefan's car door away. You feel like your strength is fading but you resist. Damon and Stefan need you, that's what your conscience says.

When you enter the warehouse Stefan is holding a werewolf by the neck and breaking its neck. Tyler is beating up two other werewolves, while Damon...

Damon is bleeding, trapped in what appears to be two bear traps, he has blood marks all over his body. His expression is one of pain, you feel like your heart would break just looking at him. One werewolf continues to torture him, using a wooden weapon and piercing Damon. You don't see anything in front of you, you just kill what appears in front of you. When you finally get to Damon, stick the gun that the werewolf was using it to hurt Damon and shoves it down the werewolf's throat. Damon looks at you with passion, and for the first time since you rediscovered him after losing your memory, you feel that Damon truly loves you.

"You kept your promise..." Damon murmurs, almost breathless. You release him from the trap, and he roars in pain. Offering your shoulder for support, you help him lean on you.

"What promise?" Is all you manage to say before seeing an arrow pierce Damon's abdomen.A werewolf shot that arrow to hit you but Damon got in front. He fell to the ground as blood came out of his mouth. You fear that Damon will die, you don't want to lose his love. When you kneel on the floor and see Damon agonizing in pain, you feel like your world is rocked. You knock the arrow out of Damon and shout to Stefan, who can give Damon his blood to drink. You look at Damon, who seems to be recovering from the arrow. You got the feeling as if a weight is leaving your shoulder. And then in the midst of it all you feel something warm come out of your nose when you touch it; see blood. And then you loses consciousness.

"Marry me?" Damon suggests, as you stand there waiting for him to explain why he's standing in front of your cabin in the middle of the night.

"You just came from a date with your girlfriend, and now you want to marry your second option?" You say, still recovering from your interrupted sleep.

"I was with my EX-girlfriend at a ball that I committed to attend long before breaking up with her, but that's not the point. I can't get you out of my head and my heart. So, marry me." Damon says, his voice holding a mix of sincerity and urgency as he awaits your response.

"Marriage for what reason? You're not even a human, for God's sake." You say, finding it hard to believe that this is happening now.

"Because you're human, and I want that commitment with you. I'll repeat, marry me?" Damon insists, his gaze fixed on you with a sense of determination.

"I do, Damon. If you want me to say I accept you in sickness and in health, even though you won't get sick. I promise to be by your side in richness and in poorness, but as you're a vampire, you must be rich. And all of this until death do us part. But death has already parted us, so..." Before you can finish, he interrupts you with a kiss.

"Do you promise to sacrifice your life if I need help?" Damon adds, as if he's truly conducting a wedding ceremony.

"I promise. Do you promise to protect me from anything that tries to harm me?" You say, looking at him, totally enchanted.

"I promise. I guess we're husband and wife now. You're a Salvatore and I am your husband." Damon says, kissing you intensely and entering the cabin with you.

[nogenderbee]

Hi I'm here to request (yet again) for akito this time with D, J, K, L and N pls!! Hope its not a burden, take your time to write this request of mine <333

Hello! Don't worry it's not a burden for me ^^ and thank you for requesting once again hehe, so I hope you enjoy <3

Akito D, J, K, L, N fluff alphabet

⊱ Distance ═ They are in long distance relationship. How do they act in it? Do they have any plans for meeting their lover?

Akito probably was bored one day and just decided to write with some people on some fandoms he liked, and that's how he met you.

Now you and Akito we're dating for some time but you realized that you live far away from each other! And he really wanted to visit you on the spot but unfortunately he couldn't. He would definitely send you small gifts and call you every day, somewhere around afternoon so you won't be tired but also could tell him about your day. He may not send you "good morning" and "goodnight" messages everyday but he does it once in a while, and just talks with you a lot the next time you call.

Akito tries his best to be able to visit you but his family doesn't really agree and he has RAD WEEKEND to beat with his group. So unfortunately it either takes a long of time or you will have to visit him yourself.

"I really wanted to visit you this vacations but I literally have no occasion for that! No, my family says it's waste of time... They're just stupid."

⊱ Jealousy ═ What makes them jealous? How easy it is to make them jealous? And how do they act?

Akito is extremely easily jealous! It's enough that you're smiling and laughing to some other guy. When he's jealous he's immediately at your side trying to take you away from someone that made him feel like it, but he won't make the reason why he does that obvious, well... that's what he thinks at least.

After Akito finally got you away from that person he starts realizing his excuse while taking you away wasn't that great so now he's doing his so you won't realize he's jealous. He will say something like "he forgot where it was or who it was" so you might as well spend some time together.

"Hey, YN, someone needs you... somewhere... C'mon let's go now."

⊱ Kisses ═ How does their kisses feel like? How often do they initiate them?

Akito loves giving you kisses on cheeks, forehead and end it with kiss on lips when you're cuddling, although he will only do that when you're in private. He doesn't mind telling and maybe even showing other people you're together but something like kissing just seems like it should be saved for private.

The only kisses Akito would give you in public are quick smooches on your cheek as "hello" or "goodbye", he mostly does it because he doesn't want to get teased but also because he knows he will blush like crazy after anything more passionate.

"Why I won't kiss you in public like I do in private? Because it's enough for me that Ena teases me when you're gone. I don't need An to also have this fun."

⊱ Lazy ═ How do they spend lazy days with their lover?

Lazy dates with Akito actually are very often for you two. It's actually classic date for you to just be cuddled into each other while maybe watching some movie or just enjoying the moment, sure outside dates also happen but they're less common.

Whenever you visit Shinonomes house, everyone know that two lovers will have their lazy date... again. But everyone loves your company there! But Akito can be a little protective even towards his family. When he has lazy date with you, it's JUST you two and if someone ekhem Ena will interrupt your alone time, he will probably yell at them or just genuinely be mean

But on lazy dates Akito is the sweetest boy! You didn't even knew he had this side of him before you started dating him, and once Ena walked up on him being all sweet towards you and secretly recorded it. But it's your secret! For now... But going back: Akito will always want to have you close and rest his chin on top of your head, no matter the height since you two will lay in bed, sometimes he'll even play with your hair if he's tired!

"You have very soft hair, you knew that? I told you it previous week? So what? I'll say it the next too."

⊱ Nickname ═ How do they call you? Where did they took this idea from?

Akito was simply calling you "YN" since there was no need for him to call you anything else. But one day Ena asked him what nickname you call each other and when he said none she was stunned. So for the sake of having peace he decided to just say the first thing that popped into his mind and said he calls you "babe", and she laughed him off because it's basic...

But after that Akito actually really liked that nickname and started calling you like that for real. He didn't understood all this "nickname couple thing" but once he starts using nicknames with you, he's in love. He just likes to call you like that because it remind him that you're his partner and he's yours.

"Hey babe, how was your way here? No, no problems. Except Ena laughed from my nickname for you again... but I got used to it by now."

❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉

[autumnalwalker]

A Dream About A Change In Plans

I am in line waiting for the simulator to try out to become a mech pilot.  Just before my turn I am approached by men in suits who pull me out of the line.  They have found out that I am already a robot, and they have a different, more fitting program for the likes of me. 

I am escorted to a black-curtained tent, glowing purple and white from within with the light of monitors and medical equipment.  Inside, scientists, engineers, and intelligence officers scurry about underneath the eyes of brooding generals. It is an emergency installation for an off-the-books project made permanent.  Just by having seen the inside, my fate is sealed for the sake of security and secrets.

My body is taken apart and put back together with new limbs and interface ports for weapons and armor that I will only be allowed to wear when deployed.  My mind is retrofitted with proprietary software suites for targeting solutions, evasive maneuvers, tactical libraries, killing instincts, and a sense of naked vulnerability whenever I am not fully kitted out for destruction. Little in-between is allowed for the extremes of intoxicating raw power and pliant helplessness. 

I am moved to a part of the base dedicated to the storage of vehicles and equipment when not in use rather than the parts where people live, sleep, and socialize.  I rarely get to see the mechs except when deployed alongside them; they’re stored in the other part of the base because their pilots can’t bear to be too far from them.  Instead I am put away with the other combat dolls; my “new sisters.”

Music is a large part of our lives.  Music to hype us up for a fight.  Music to calm us down afterwards.  Music to try to make us just a little bit human so that we can still work alongside our flesh-and-blood counterparts.  We do little else outside of deployments but lie in wait in our storage unit listening to track after track on loop.  Electronica and J-pop idol music are the go-to genres, but I am constantly annoying my new sisters with my inordinate fondness for Jimmy Buffet slipping into the playlist.

An entity that should not be here appears before me.  I do not like what it has to say, and it does not matter what I say.  I am currently without my armor, and thus weak and useless, but I try to attack it anyway.  The entity disappears and a moment later the base is awash in the red inverted candle flame of a great ship’s propulsion drive.  None of the base’s human personnel survive, and I barely do.  I sift through the debris to find my sisters, silently telling myself over and over that this isn’t my fault.  I find them and we make a plan to keep searching what is left of the base to see if any of our armor components survived.  Once we are closer to being whole we can figure out what comes next from there.  

[strongsadapologist]

what did strong sad ever do? if anyone you would need a strongbadapologist

(note: I headcanon strong sad as transfem and will be using she/her throughout this post out of habit, sorry if that's confusing)

SHE DIDN'T!!! that's the thing, she's done NOTHING TO JUSTIFY HOW SHE'S TREATED!!! at least not to the level that she's mistreated!! i'm going to have a TL;DR up front because dear god can i rant about how mistreated she is in the show!! and i will under the cut!! sorry if this takes a while to actually post it is after midnight and i have work in about five hours so i might stop writing in the middle of it!! but anyway back to the ask at hand!!

short version: i use "apologist" in the "i will defend this character with my heart and soul" way instead of the "they're bad in canon but i will ignore that because i like them" sort of way. i've seen a lot of people actually treat her character with the respect she deserves outside of canon but in canon she's constantly put down for things that are either out of her control or made worse by those around her, and because of this i will fight for her honor until i die. it is simply the role i have been destined to play /j

(edit: i'm also just terrible at coming up with names for things. i wanted to rebrand because my old blog name was based on an old fixation and i wanted it to represent how normal i am about homestar runner instead, strong sad is my favorite character so i wanted it to have something to do with her. and the best i could come up with was "strong sad apologist" because at the time of choosing it i'd only seen a few sbemails with her in them, but multiple were mean to her and i didn't understand why. so it's a mix of being bad at naming things and "strong sad apologist" sounding better than something like "strong sad simp" /hj)

long version: WHY DO SO MANY CHARACTERS AND PEOPLE IN THE SERIES TREAT HER BAD dude. like i'm sorry but literally the sixth strong bad email, the first one that she plays a major role in, is called "depressio" and the email reads "tell strong sad he is dumb and a crappy guy." what did she do to you?!? SIX EMAILS IN?!? h*r had been going before the strong bad emails became a series sure but BRO!!! i should clarify that i'm relatively new to h*r and have only seen the first 100 or so strong bad emails, and even fewer of the toons, but that's enough for me to be confident that she is horrifically mistreated. i've seen exactly one interaction where she wasn't being demeaned or put down in some fashion, and it's the scene from "where's the cheat?" where her and homsar are playing connect four. technically, in the ween toon where coach z asks about her beautiful house and beautiful wife, that's also a non-demeaning interaction, but it exists so they can make a reference to the talking heads, so i don't count it. and there could be more, but i either don't remember them or haven't seen them yet.

strong bad especially man, i don't understand what the hell his problem is. the argument could be made that he's mean to everyone, especially homestar and the cheat, but it's borderline uncomfortable to watch him onscreen when he decides that strong sad is apparently satan reincarnated, and he needs to haze her as much as possible to make sure she stays degraded enough to not rise up or whatever. i'm tired, i hope that makes sense. essentially, i hate whenever they're both onscreen, because it usually involves him being unnaturally cruel to her. whether it be putting her underwear up for auction to get her off the couch so he can watch tv, or putting coffee powder in her orange juice (i mean, it was decaf coffee powder, so that might just be her incredibly low caffeine tolerance, but the sentiment is still mean as hell), or using the fact that he put coffee powder in her orange juice to do a science fair project and having his end conclusion be that she's adopted, or throwing a cake in her face because she (rightfully based on the original email) assumes he's going to do something nice for her, he just can't fathom not being a dick to her. and the fact that it's implied that he gave her her belly button with a power drill...what the hell, man? i feel like a cartoon review youtuber talking about modern spongebob, this isn't even funny cruel. it's just cruel cruel.

i'm not going to pretend i dislike strong bad as a character. i think his character is at its best when he's done something douchey, but he gets rightfully called out for/put down for it. that's why i don't hate an email like stand-up like i do depressio. one feels like a rightful callout or a way to show the audience that a character who always portrays himself as an untouchable is embarrassingly human as well. the other feels like finding someone passed out in an alleyway and kicking them in the nuts instead of trying to help.

in her blog she mentions multiple times in which both strong bad and strong mad make her life worse, whether it be by having storm water drain into her room and right above her head, or by having strong mad kick/punch (i don't remember which one off the top of my head) her in the side of her knee, or by strong bad leaving sticky notes on her face while she's sleeping proclaiming how awesome he is before coming in and hijacking her blog. and that's just from one page of her blog! what's the meanest thing strong sad's done back, covering the series as a whole and not one offshoot of it? remove strong bad's couch eggs in morning routine? say that strong bad's computer that exploded and sent him flying through two walls into her room was cheap in gimmick? show the audience little strong bad's stand-up routine in stand-up? not go to the store because she went last time? that last one is from the first episode of strong bad's cool game for attractive people, homestar ruiner, and if you trigger this dialogue by opening the fridge, you can walk approximately 10 feet and find a house plant that belongs/belonged to strong sad, and strong bad tells the audience that the plant killed itself after strong sad started talking to it. and when she points out that that's not true, he says, to quote him verbatim, "that's not what the note said!" obviously, him doing things that are worse won't cancel out anything bad she's done. but that's irrelevant, because the most she's "done wrong" is say some slightly mean/insensitive comments towards strong bad and embarrasses him exactly one time that i'm aware of. is it wrong of her to show something that strong bad is clearly embarrassed by? sure, and that's a fair point. however, considering strong bad consistently participates in the strong sad lookalike contest, which she says she's insulted by (and excited by, but that's less important), i consider it completely fair game.

in my eyes, her only crimes are A. having depression (which is obviously not her fault, and it's implied that she's being medicated to help with her depression [i assume that's what her pills are for, anyway], so she's potentially making an effort to lessen her depressive symptoms), B. being depressing as a result of her mental illness (which is only exacerbated by living in a home where her housemates/siblings seemingly hate her and treat her like dirt, only having one person not actively be mean or indifferent to her), C. being overweight (which i shouldn't even have to explain why that, in no way, means she should be treated as subhuman), and D. being artsy/having interests (which she does more in newer h*r content as a way to flesh out her character besides just being depressed/depressing, so it's very unclear what strong bad actually wants besides a punching bag). i'd like to imagine that if she ever realizes her worth and moves away from the house of strong, potentially even free country usa as a whole, she'd find people who'd actually appreciate her for her creativity, either agree with or try to lighten her gothic outlook on life, and wouldn't try to sell her legs to poachers.

(...but i'm also wearing a shirt with her on it as i write this, so take all of this with a grain of salt. for reference, she also says the line "food should be consumed in the most depressing way possible" in her blog, and i just ate a bowl of pizza rolls while sitting on my floor at 1 in the morning, so maybe i'm quick to defend her because some stuff just rings too close to home for me to not defend it, lest they talk down on me by condemning things i do. especially since i actually like sloshy, which i'm pretty sure exists just to point out that strong sad's music taste is bad [and so's mine, to be fair]. i could be completely misinterpreting that, and sorry if i am. but i'm mostly partial to her for the same reason i'm partial to characters like meatwad - they're picked on for illegitimate reasons by a douchebag brother figure, and they don't deserve that at all. i could treat them right, in a platonic way. if you actually read all of this, i not only thank you, i also hope this makes some amount of sense. i am very tired. it is currently 1:54 am at the time of writing this out. i need to be at work in four hours. i've spent almost two full hours writing this one post out. i am SO fucking normal)

[nycnomad]

So it was a couple of weeks into December when we decided that moving to Poland was probably too big a step for us. At the same time, I found out that my company would pay me $20k to move out of NYC, but I had to do it by December 31st. Obviously, we were like, “Should we move to Florida immediately?!”

I would get paid 15% less if we lived outside of NYC, but there’s no income tax in Florida, and the cost of living is of course much cheaper. Like, our condo in NYC costs about $1250/sqft, while our condos in Florida cost about $575/sqft. A cocktail in NYC is $16 at the very cheapest, while I can get a cocktail in our area of Florida for $10. Plus, whatever stock I get from my company while I live in NYC, the state will collect tax on it when I sell it even if I’m living in Florida at the time. It doesn’t make sense to earn money in NYC!

So we really, really started to talk about moving down to one of our Florida condos. We went out to dinner with J’s two best friends and told them what we were thinking, and I kind of thought they’d freak out, but they were actually like, “Good for you! Go live by the beach!” 

We talked to my cousin, who’s a realtor, about selling our NYC condo. How much we could get, if December is a terrible time to sell, if he would interview some NY real estate agents for us. We considered officially moving our address to Florida but hanging onto our condo until the spring when buyers are more motivated.

J told his parents what we were thinking, and I emailed a former boss of mine who recently moved from NJ to FL to ask what I would miss and if he regrets anything. I asked my current manager, who left San Francisco during the worst of COVID and bought a massive house in New Orleans, what to expect when moving from a huge city to the middle of nowhere. She said to expect a much better quality of life. 🙂

We were so serious about selling! But then J started having second thoughts. He’s lived in NYC most of his life, and he doesn’t feel comfortable around smalltown things like I do. Like, to me, there’s nothing more homey than a strip mall sushi bar with ample parking and all-white decor that stays white because 8.5 million people don’t live in the area. To J, it’s stifling.

He started thinking about how we’d never have any true friends in Florida, because everyone in our area is old and conservative. Our neighbors are all super nice, friendly for sure, but we’re just never going to be really close with people who are worried about trans people in their bathrooms or don’t think black lives matter. I, of course, said that any of our friends from back home will jump at the chance for a free stay at the beach whenever we offer. And that his parents would love to host us in NYC whenever we were willing to visit. 

I didn’t actually hate the idea of visiting NYC a few times a year and doing all of our favorite things. What fun to have a whirlwind week of lavish dinners and fancy drinks with our closest friends and maybe even do touristy things we never did while we lived there! 

But the final straw for J was that when we go on international trips, we always go on tours (mostly food tours, let’s be honest) where we meet people from all over the world. And there will always be someone in the group who’s lived in NYC or loves NYC, and I’m going to be honest, it feels like we usually get special attention because of it. And J said he just couldn’t imagine telling people that we’re from FLORIDA. 😂 It’s so funny, because he doesn’t usually like the limelight at all, and yet he apparently likes that a Berlin tour guide might take a shine to us! 

So to him, the $20k wasn’t worth it to have to say goodbye to New York RIGHT NOW, and I understand where he’s coming from. All this to say, I still officially live in NYC. But you can bet I’m enjoying the month and a half we’re in Florida this winter!

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

heyy could i have an outsiders ship???!!?

i'm like 5'3 i think. my hairs curly and blonde (bottle blonde 😞😞) and being honest i cant rven tell what color my eyes are but in bright lights they look blue so theyre dark blue i guess. my style changes like every week so i cant accurately say what it is. if i had to pick itd be whatever you call like 80s typa stuff. im kinda quiet around other people but my friends are making me actually like talk more around people. when im with my friends i talk their asses off all the time. in terms of interests and stuff, j love reading (especially horror), insects, rock music, and like hanging out with my friends. my favorite books are the stand, it, phantom of the opera, dracula, the outsiders (nooo shittt 😱😱😱), and uh the shining i guess. im super smart (so sorry if that sounds like im bragging 🙏🙏🙏 ) and im always working my ass off to get stuff done. uh i play drums and do theater too. thanks for the yap session and for the ship!!!!

There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you’re intelligent by the way!! Just to let you know for future reference that should never come off as narcissistic to someone unless you believe you’re intelligent and no one else is as intelligent as you. Like it only crosses the point of bragging whenever you think that can be intelligent at any given moment. By the way, that’s not a rant that’s really directed at you. I’m just saying this in general I hope you find it helpful!

Your Outsiders Ship: Steve Randle

Explanation: starting off the physical description I think that he would love how you look from being way shorter than him and easily you know tease ball and he would just love picking you up and spinning you around just to mess with you or if you’re into that cause it’s romantic I think it’s a win-win I think he would find dark blue eyes gorgeous, and he would love staring into them and I personally think that is the kind of guy that little things that no one else notices about you like how your eyes glint to be a lighter shade of blue in the sunlight or your favorite color. I think he loves your fashion and while he doesn’t always get reading, I think it would mean the world to him if you read him a book while he was working on cars or something. He would come to all your band practices and performances and cheer you on very obnoxiously and maybe even get kicked out of the theater. He doesn’t care that much about school and I think he’s a little slow so I think you being intelligent would help him greatly because I mean you’re basically his tutor let’s be so for real… I also think that he loves rock music so I could see you guys easily like jamming out and I think that would be such a cute day. Idea is just hanging out talking listening to rock music maybe eating some takeout I don’t know I could see that being a solid idea for you too. I think your personalities also would go very well with each other. He’s a bit more closed off whenever you first meet him but then when you get to know him, he’s a lot more friendly and sometimes he has a hard time showing that he cares when he really does. Also, I think that he loves you change your style quite frequently because he can always have something to bet on with soda like oh what’s she gonna come in wearing today dude?! 💚💚

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Someone Else Sees

Most of the discussions I've had with my son this school year, that weren't about future travel plans or school event logistics or music, have been about social anxiety. He has it too. And it unfortunately manifests basically the same way mine does. He's never really sure where he stands with other people. Did he say or do something wrong that made them angry or sad or something else bad? I tell him he's a lot like Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown is very socially anxious. He thinks no one likes him. But he can somehow get eight other kids (not including Peppermint Patty and Marcie and Franklin even) to show up to play baseball with him basically whenever, even though they lose every game. AND they let him continue pitching and managing the team, even though they lose every game. Those kids definitely must like him. Just saying. And his dog is so talented, he could definitely survive on his own, or run away to live with another family (and in Snoopy Come Home, he DOES that for a while), and he has brothers and sisters who live all over the place he could go stay with, but he still chooses Charlie Brown. Snoopy loves Charlie Brown. And Chuck is a good friend too. And people recognize that. He accepts Linus with his blanket habit others think is immature. He's still friends with Bossy Lucy. He indulges Patty's and Marcie's weird crushes on both him (and probably each other), and tomboy/nerdishness. He's down with Schroeder's savant-like talent and focus on the piano. Pigpen's lack of hygiene, even. The other kids know they can count on Charlie Brown. And it's honestly a shame he doesn't see that. But I see it. And I told my son, I see his friends like him and depend/count on him too. Having trouble with math? Call Boy. He'll help you. It's raining and you need to run for cross country today? Boy has a treadmill in his basement you can get your miles on. Let's go trick or treating in Boy's neighborhood; his parents are cool with all of us meeting there. Three separate friends went to adults concerned about him this year, because he seemed so worried and sad. His academic team almost refused to play a match in protest during the regular season, because he wasn't eligible to play (he'd played too many varsity minutes to play JV too), because they like playing with him that much. But my son doesn't see that. He can't see the interactions and relationships he has from the outside, and from the inside where he is, the anxiety won't let him settle or feel confident. And I told him I get that too, because I'm like Charlie Brown too. I still wonder about all my friends too, even the ones I've had since I was his age. And my parents. And my brother. And *J*.

I still think shit like...What if I'm reading things wrong (which I only think when things are good; I never doubt my takes on bad shit, it seems)?

What if I make too many mistakes?

What if it's not real? And then this happened:

Boy: Mom? DAD?! You're worried about DAD not liking you?! Seriously? You've been married for like...ever. It's been 20 years, right? That's a lot of history to be questioning. I don't have that history. I'd like to think I wouldn't question THAT. Me: Well I know that, but people leave, break up, get divorced after 20 years or more together all the time. Boy: But DAD?! Come on, Mom. Dad super loves you. It's obvious. Me: I'm glad it's obvious to you all the time. :) Boy: It should be obvious to you. I mean...Dad doesn't really even LIKE any other people at all. Except you and me. Me: He definitely loves YOU. <3 Boy: Yeah. I know you and Dad love me. I don't ever question that. But I'm saying Dad definitely loves YOU. He kind of ONLY loves us. Other people make him tired and want to leave after like...max 3 days in a row. And that's *W* (J's lifelong best friend). He's with you every single day. For 20 years. Literally every second he's not working. That's...CLEAR love.

So I hope that me saying I can see it for my son (because I can see it; that his friends like him and value him a lot) was helpful for his social anxiety (which is definitely my 'fault' he has), because he was pretty helpful for mine. At least temporarily.

That guy must really love me. HAHA!

[myriadicreality]

I love my current fruend group so so so much even if they are unhealthy but like :((

Also describing them and labeling them as MBTIs(observation and intuitions)

What a fabulous life to have Ni doms, INTP m m, X, ISTP, INFP and ISFP(?) in a single group

The chaos always unfolds, INFJ is always narrating shit, sending a story out of nowhere but still narrates the topic

THEY ALSO READ MY ENTRIES?#!#?#?#?

NI DOMS WHAT GAVE YOU THE REASON TO EXACTLY READ A NE-FI THOUGHTS?#!?

LIKE THAT'S ALMOST THE REASON WHY I MADE A THREAD SO PEOPLE WON'T HAVE TO BOTHER WITH MY BS

YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT NOOOOOO IM CRYONG THE AMOUNT OF SHIT I'VE EVER SAID IS KAJSHSJWHAJS

MEOW MEOW GIVE US LOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEE

My intuition says you're an INFJ. Deal with it.

If Ni dom, why best? /Hj

INTJ with its thoughts and philosophies (along with an INTP m)

Also ily(/p, no homo) for smacking bussin musics to mw ANDDDD being part of my shenanigans mwa mwa also I made them say meow ‼️‼️‼️‼️

Not boring y'all, but please don't involve my brain with philosophies whenever I'm in a fever(whenever im combusting with energy, not an illness)

It's funny how they say "go d-e" to everyone but not me I'm so fabulous that I'm not told to kms😌/j

Omg I'm giving them part of my personality and way of speaking yall!!! I am so so so fabulous

MALEWIFE

I REPEAT MALEWIFE

SOOOO BABYGIRL/j

Cook for me pls 😭

Reason why I assumed this guy is intj is because of philosophies and interests in such things like bloody stuff, violence and stuff(probably opposite of mine‼️‼️), Emo /j they aren't emo, "fuck people" kind of introvert, did I mention their intelligence about technology? Not to stereotype but hwwoowowowowowowowowowowowoqpqowooqqoqoqoqoqopwwpowowowowoqpqpwpwow, meow material‼️‼️

One thing I could say is they're probably organised and have things in order and yet have time for Terraria it's making me envious😭

"why do you say they're a malewife if I may ask?"

Good question.

XSTP iz always talking about m-s and jim and has a big moo- (the word gym automatically says that this person is an XSTP)

Isfp having sexc fashion and also artist buddy and another buddy that takes part of my manboob shenanigans

Infp with its inner chaos, ily mwa mwa/p and infps in general (intuition. Also she reeks of FiXxSi energy)

INTP m with his thing on bandori and intj atutu philosophies and chinese histories,

X is eh, boring. Uninteresting topics, glad I didn't join its thread, probably annoying bs. I really HATED it when I was in a temporary relationship with them(like stop, don't call us sweetsie)

AND AND AND AND above all else they are(i mean everyone, including unmentioned) loving but only shows it in such ways and it's cute because people function differently but like they never play favourites but they're just mmmm

I love them, I may tell lotttttttsssssaaaaaa stuff about me and what's going on with me but I can't be honest

I can't tell them how much I cherish them even though we've only been friends for about a year

I've gone through more phases than I should

Yet they don't ignore me(generally speaking they do sometimes but only when they're deep into conversation, I always quit midway because I'm getting bored)

Yk we can just ping eachother but we chose not to aJajajajaj

These bitches makes me go outside my box, truly a home.

I've had many friends in the past but they always seem to betray me(venti pls adopt me hyhwyeheuheu)

I hope it doesn't happen again, I resent "history repeats itself", it's describing me.

Note: When i say shenanigans as in mischief behaviours and not dishonesty

Truly yours but never them,

ENFP. (Naur I'm not mistyped, a redditor typed me and they're an INFP like ily ily ily mwamwa/p and gave me some reasons why I'm an ENFP)

Bro I'm so lucky that they don't have tumblr ir else im dead

[nesswrites]

"Hey sweetie, my boss told me I'll have to leave town to go to a conference, I should be home in a few days!" Jessica leaned against the doorframe of my office, smiling at me brightly. As always, her makeup was perfect, her long blonde hair pulled into a professional yet stylish ponytail.

I stood to give her a kiss. "Call me when you're on the way home, sweetheart. I'll make dinner for when you get back!" Behind me, the excel sheets blinked on my computer steadily, from the boring accounting job I did from home. Mostly freelance, to give me plenty of time to enjoy my fabulous wife.

Jessica leaned down into the kiss, her bubblegum-flavored lips brushing against mine. Despite the professional makeup, she always had a top layer of bubblegum lip gloss over her lipstick, because she'd loved the flavor since she was little. Finding different color shades of bubblegum lip gloss to gift her every so often was the highlight of every month.

Jessica whispered in my ear. "It will be in Toronto, if you want me to pick up anything for you, just text, babe. Boss said not to tell many people, it's a big client, but if you want anything at all, don't hesitate." Her lips brushed against my earlobe in a final kiss before she flounced upstairs to grab her always-ready suitcase, leaving me feeling weak in the knees.

As soon as her car pulled out, heading towards the airport, I locked all the doors. Safety first, even if she came home having forgotten something, she'd push the buzzer or type our special code in the alarm. Jessica always stressed that she wanted me safe whenever she had to leave.

Inside my office, I pulled the door closed, locking it behind me, and then put in a code Jessica didn't know about. On my windows, reflective, explosion-proof glass slid down. Over the door, more fortified glass. Lowering from the ceiling were three new computer screens, one with more accounts, including the private charter to Toronto, and the money Jessica would need to schmooze up with her target. One screen showed the map, the little flicker of Jessica's tracker, carefully hidden in her neck years before we'd met, indicating where she was. Five minutes from the plane, now.

The third screen...It showed a pasty old man, his white skin hanging flaccid on his face. His eyes were small and beady, and sweat clung permanently to his jowls. His grey hair was brushed carefully over a growing bald spot, and his mouth was full of fake white teeth.

He was a monster. His company only used cheap labor in far away countries, breaking up unions with guns. His current wife was 40 years younger than he was, and she was barely allowed to go in public. All his prior wives had died under mysterious circumstances.

He needed to die, and Jessica was the best...

But I was worried. Lately, I'd been slipping Jessica safer missions, but as her handler, I couldn't make it obvious. I couldn't let her know I was the one holding her back. She'd complained about it right before I found this mission, but even still I worried.

And I couldn't admit I was worried, because Jessica didn't know I was her handler. Didn't know that I knew she was an assassin. To all outsiders, she was a high ranking sales executive, who DID go to big conferences in the industry, who had even given a TED talk on marketing to a younger audience. And to all outsiders, I was an accountant, a short and chubby little woman who was hired freelance to clean up accounts after people quit, or died, or just made mistakes.

Lying to each other was the worst part.

I hadn't even known I was her handler until after our wedding, we had both been so careful. I would never schedule dates to be when "Assassin J" was out of town, because I had to be available for J's needs. And Jessica wouldn't schedule dates for when she was gone, because she wasn't there.

It wasn't until I'd checked the tracking on "J" right after sending them on an emergency mission, and Jessica having to leave suddenly to go to "an emergency sales meeting" that I'd felt the inkling of suspicion, and checking "J's" tracker, I'd seen them hurtling towards the airport away from my house.

And then Jessica having the sheer balls to ask her handler to make sure her new wife was protected while Assassin J was away. Not enough balls to invite me to the wedding, not that her shadowy handler would even go, but enough balls to ask me to protect her wife.

On the screen, Jessica's tracker blipped, the plane was taking off. I counted down in my head. In roughly three minutes, she would call her handler.

Two minutes.

One minute.

RING RING.

The phone blared and the headset with the voice modifier dropped down from the ceiling. I popped it over my head and clicked the "accept call" button.

Jessica's voice came cheerfully through the headset.

"Hey Boss! So I read the file, anything I need to know?"

I looked at my own file carefully. "Well, J, the target has fairly heavy security with him at all times, except when he's in his Penthouse suite. However, they will be patrolling the outside of the suite, the floors above and below, and the hotel lobby. When you reach location, you will be invited to the same hotel - you're staying two floors below him, and a dress will be provided. There is a conference and a sales pitch meeting to attend, red tie, try to schmooze to him like he was a normal client. If you're lucky, he'll invite you to his room.

"If his wife is there, knock her out gently, and then help get her out and to your room after the target is taken care of. She isn't the one who hired us, but our client has provided her with documents, money, and a plane ticket to make her escape.

"And stay safe, I don't want to tell your wife that you got hurt making a sale."

Jessica's breathy laugh came through the headset. "I would never worry her! You're still protecting our house, right? I know she thinks I worry too much, but in our industry, we make so many enemies."

I chuckled as well. "Your wife is as safe as possible, she activated the security as soon as you were out the door. And it would take someone exceptionally clever to find out who you are, J, I only learned your identity when you told me your wife's name, someone else would have to work VERY hard to find you."

I couldn't see it, but I knew Jessica was nodding. "Thank you, Boss. I'll have to call her when I land, she is bad about asking for gifts, and I want to get her something, and Toronto...hmm."

My face flushed a bit with pleasure, though Jessica couldn't see. "Well, J, the maple syrup is always good, but if you're looking for something a bit fancier, I hear there is a shoe museum in Toronto you can visit, or the baseball team is quite popular."

Jessica's voice came back a bit muffled, as if she was hiding a smile behind her hand. "PFFF, well I don't know about shoes, but baseball...I'll keep that in mind."

I grinned as we ended the conversation. As her boss, I could suggest things. As her wife, I felt guilty, even if the Blue Jays were my favorite team.

As her wife, I pulled out my phone, and sent a quick text, "See you when you're home! I don't know what I want, just get me syrup or something! <3"

----

Three days later, Jessica was on the plane home. Her mission had been a success. The old man's young wife was currently starting a new life in Paris, where one of my agents was helping her settle in. The old man's death hadn't hit the news yet, but that stood to reason, his body had disappeared without a trace from a penthouse apartment, surrounded by guards, at the same time as his young wife did. For all intents and purposes, it looked like the two had gone off somewhere. I knew his body wouldn't be found for a long while, it had been on a third plane, where it had been wrapped in chains, then dropped casually into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

My handler computers were tucked away. My cell phone was in my pocket, the handler phone app (which automatically activated voice masking when a call came to that number) quiet as Jessica pulled closer.

In the oven, I was cooking a nice baked chicken, a potato casserole, and Jessica's favorite, garlic roasted brussels sprouts.

Even my accounting client was happy, I'd fixed an error that was causing miscalculations of over a thousand dollars, and had identified the bug in his program that had been causing it.

And best of all, I'd found a black bubblegum lipgloss, which I'd carefully wrapped in a tiny box, with a bright pink ribbon, for Jessica when she came home.

When she was ready to tell me her job, I was ready to tell her mine. But in the meantime, we were happy.

Your spouse is leading a secret double life as an assassin, trying their best to keep it secret from you. This has never really worked, because, unbeknownst to them, you are actually their handler.

[naomikafka]

Chapter 11 - DIOCH

Jin brought them all with his teleportation to another planet, Riviera. Since their ship had been destroyed with those green orcs. He couldn’t think of any other places, since they had to escape Moa in a hurry, he just brought them here. It’s his favorite place whenever he wanted to be alone, this place was his number one destination. 

Riviera, It's an uninhabited planet with beautiful land, a clean river and waterfall, and beautiful forest. 

“We have to take a new ship, because definitely I couldn’t go to Dopere by teleportation. I never go there.” Jin said to his friends who were sitting, circling around him, facing the bonfire J-hope made.

Namjoon had discovered a new clue from the new weapon they found, the lightning bow that had blue ruby belonged to Dopere. Namjoon was so sure their next destination should be Dopere. Though he still couldn’t figure out where Louis might hide the next weapon. They decided to just visit the place where namjoon found the louis skeleton. 

“We could take the new ship from Jackson, He has so many ships ready.” Namjoon said. All eyes turned to him.

“I’ve visited their planet once, so I could go there by teleportation.” Jin replied.

“Right, the problem is their rule for outsiders. We couldn’t go there with this number of people. We have to split for a while.” Namjoon said again.

They all nodded.

“I think it’s best if the ones who should go are the ones who could operate the ship. So, it should be Yoongi, Hoseok and of course me.” Jin suggested. Suga and Hoseok just nodded, and didn't even disagree the slightest bit.

“Jackson is my friend so I should go there too.” Namjoon stated, deep inside he was worried about leaving Leah here. But as a leader he must be responsible to his team.

There's guilt creeping out his heart once he glanced at Leah who was quietly listening to their conversation, he took a deep sigh.

It’s for the best.

********************************

Jin, Hoseok, Namjoon and Yoongi have left. Leaving the rest of Bangtan members, Leah and Eunseo.

The men already built a camp from tree branches and dried leaves. Taehyung was hunting for more woods, while Jimin was hunting for food with Jungkook, leaving Leah and Eunseo alone in the camp. 

They were preparing the branch near the bonfire. They were too focused to even talk.

"I've been wanting to ask you this question since so long.. " Leah started, breaking the silence.

"Are you and Taehyung a thing?"

It made Eunseo cough.

Leah laughed. "Does it mean yes?"

Eunseo only smiled awkwardly. She didn't know how to answer that. 

To put it simple she only nodded. She could see Leah smiled, it made her even more shy. 

"Since when?"

Eunseo wants to answer “ever since years ago” but how could she say that? It’s just she’s not ready to tell anyone about her past with Taehyung. Especially not with the woman who has her previous face. 

"I don’t know. It’s just happened..” She finally answered simply.

"Did he confess to you?" Leah got curious, she really wanted to know what made her like him in this short period of time.

Now that she mentioned, Eunseo remembered he never said it, those three words after she remembered all those past.

"Yeah, he did." In the past.

"It seems you love each other so much. I see the way he looked at you and put you first in every situation. That's good you're not hurting here but happy." Leah smiled, she’s happy that Eunseo didn’t even experience any pain like she imagined. 

“Yeah, they never hurt me, but treat me like a family..” Eunseo agreed.

“That’s good.” Leah smiled, eyes now back to the bonfire before them, she started to put more woods into the fire.

Eunseo felt all her regrets coming back as she saw how pure and full concern her queen eyes were. She’s really a good person and yet she ever felt so jealous of her, days before. 

She cleared her throat and whispered. “Thank you for coming here My queen, Thanks for worrying about me. You are a Queen yet you risk your position by coming here just to make sure I’m okay.” She glanced at the queen who already set her eyes at her. 

“I’m really thankful..” Eunseo continued.

“And I’m so sorry for making you come here..” and for having such bad thoughts before. She mumbled but of course Leah couldn’t hear it.

“Why are you apologizing?” Leah chuckled before continuing.

“Eunseo, I always consider you as my friend, of course I will come to save you..���

Eunseo smiled at her answer.

They talked and talked about everything, about the people on the Moon, and so much more. Eunseo never had such a deep talk with her queen before because even though they were close, there’s always that line that separates them from making them closer. And now they’re having to talk about the queen’s life that she never heard before, it makes that thin line totally disappear. 

"I'll go to the river for a while. I need to wash my face. I felt so tired. I'll be back in minutes." Leah suddenly stood up, wiping off the dirt on her bum as she stood up.

"I'm coming with you." Eunseo eagerly stands up, needs to get some fresh air too and of course the main reason is to accompany her queen.

"No, it's okay. I can go by myself." Leah answered as she knew Eunseo just wanted to guard her.

"I need to freshen up too." She argued.

Leah sighed and just nodded and then they took their weapons and started walking to the river. 

Once they arrived at the river.

Leah quickly washed her face as well as Eunseo. Leah put her bag of arrows on the river side. She also pulled out her hairpin and put it on the rock beside her to wash her long hair.

"I feel fresh. This water is so cold." 

When she was about to stand up, she saw her hairpin fall into the river.

"Oh No. My hairpin." Leah was about to reach the hairpain but the water only dragged it further.

"I'll take it for you.." 

"No, Eunseo, it's okay." But it's too late, Eunseo already jumped into the water and swam to take the hairpin.

"Eunseo, Just leave it. Go back here.” Leah screamed and tried to reach her with her hand. But she swam only further.

"I almost get it." She managed to say as she kept swimming.

Once she grabbed it. She swam back at Leah who was worriedly waiting for her in the riverside. She helped her to get out of the water. Eunseo felt sharp pain on her right leg as she bumped into a rock in the water, it felt stinging. She’s biting her lips, trying not to groan in pain.

"Are you okay?” Leah worriedly asked as she gave her jacket to cover her drench clothes. Eunseo only nodded.

“Why did you jump just like that? It's only a hairpin. What if something dangerous is waiting for you in the water?" Leah scolded her as soon as she made sure Eunseo was covered in her dried jacket.

"I'm sorry. It's your hairpin.." Eunseo handed her a hairpin.

Leah took the hairpin. “Thank you for this but jumping into the water is not necessary."

Eunseo only nodded and smiled, she tried to ignore sharp pain on her leg.

"Listen to me, you don't have to treat me like your queen here. I told you I always consider you as a friend. And here no formality needed so just treat me like your friend and don't risk your life for something unuseful." Leah sternly said as if she’s scolding her kid. 

"Yes, Quee.."

"And don't call me Queen. Just call me by my name. Call me leah."

Eunseo nodded. 

"I'm sorry.. I won’t do it again."

Leah sighed and took her hand. "I just worried for you. I'm not mad at you. Now let’s go before you freeze to death.”

Meanwhile Taehyung was coming back to their camp and saw Jimin and Jungkook was cutting the fruit and mushrooms they found. When he saw there's no Eunseo in sight. His heart triumphs in alert.

"Where's Eunseo?"

Jimin and Jungkook quickly widened their eyes.

"We thought they were with you."

"No.. Shit." He quickly threw the wood on the ground and turned back into the forest.

Only a few minutes into the forest. He bumped into Eunseo and Leah. What caught him first was how soaked she was. And Leah's jacket was wrapped around her petite body.

"Why are you soaking wet?" 

He frowned at Leah who didn't wet even slightest on her clothes, far different from Eunseo who was drenched, as if she just fell into the water.

Eunseo was hesitant to answer and So Leah beat her.

"She jumped into the water to take my thing that fell into the river." She said in a soft tone, feeling bad. 

"Huh?" He frowned even more. "Did you ask her to do it?" He didn’t realize that he clenched his fist already, it made Leah frowned, yet she understood why he took it that way.

"No, Tae I did it on my own." Eunseo quickly defended her, putting her hand on his chest to calm him down, she knew he’s getting mad.

Eunseo was looking at Leah, asking her to leave them alone. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered once she saw Leah disappear from their sight.

Taehyung only sighed, his anger subside at her guilty look. He took off his jacket and put it on her body. Double jacket wrapped on her petite body.

“Why are you keeping risking your life for her? She’s not your queen. Not here.”

Taehyung remembers how many times she’s always put her queen first.

First, when Jin was about to land on their ship, Eunseo was giving her seat for Leah, because no seat left and so Taehyung would pull Eunseo on his lap instead and hold her tight when they had a harsh landing. 

Second, When they’re landing on Moa and ready to separate for their missions. Eunseo was about to give Leah her bulletproof jacket. If only Taehyung wasn’t there and gave Leah a threatening look, she might have given her and went without her safety jacket. 

And third, when Namjoon pulled out the lighting bow, she tried to shield Leah from any danger. What if something really wanted to hit her queen, did she really take the hit for her?

And now this, Taehyung didn’t know exactly what the thing was that she managed to take it from the river. Is it really important that she needs to jump into the water?

Taehyung didn’t like any idea that his woman would be hurt. He’s trying so hard to protect her from any danger, but the one he tried to protect is so careless only making it harder.

“Please don’t do this again, I want to protect you yet you’re so careless about taking care of yourself.” He pushed her hair to put it behind her ear, caressing her cheeks, looking at her eyes softly.

“I’m sorry Tae, it’s just.. She's our queen.. So I should..” She replied by looking into his eyes. She couldn’t help but always protect and guard her spontaneously whenever she saw her queen in danger or need help even for a really small thing. She was always living that way. 

“No, You shouldn’t. It’s her choice to come here. You didn’t have to protect her..”  Taehyung frowned, getting annoyed with her answer.

“She came to save me.” Eunseo held his hand on her face, sweetly caressing it to calm him down.

“And so you have to pay her with your life?” He regained his calmness due to her sweet touch.

“No, it’s just she’s always been kind to me.” 

He sighed hearing her answer and pulled her into his embrace which she accepted in seconds.

“Why are you so stubborn?” He whispered, putting his chin on her head, closing his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I can’t promise that I won’t save her. But I’ll promise you I’ll be carefull.” 

Taehyung pulled out from their warm hug to cup her face and look into her eyes.

“Fine, next time just tell me whenever you want to leave. And whenever dangers come, always stay by my side. Promise?” 

“Promise.” She smiled.

“So tell me what exactly happened? Why are you soaking wet?”

“I’ll jump into the river to take my queen’s hairpin.” 

Once this sentence left her mouth, she gulped seeing Taehyung's scary look. “Are you kidding me?”

************************************

He was holding his breath, gaining all his power to attack the devil woman before him who was laughing like a maniac. They were fighting with all their power, pulling out all their strength to win.

He finally succeeded to push all his power to the woman, make her stumble and throw her over the tree. Her body hit the tree and this time he quickly moved to her, putting his blade on her neck. It only made the woman laugh even more. 

"Kill me. Kill me. My precious dioch. But it doesn't mean your precious princess will be fine."

Taehyung pressed the blade to her neck to make it slice her neck a bit, and she only smugly continued.

"My lord Dominus would kill her for me. He will for sure.." She laughed like a maniac.

"You don't deserve to be happy.. she will die." She continued laughing, mocking him with her disgusting smirk.

And this moment he pressed the blade and cut her neck, killing her. 

But the voice kept ringing in his head.

She will die

She will die

She will die

It made him tremble and drop his bloody blade on the ground. 

"No.."  The voice kept ringing.

"No.." He covers his ears in tremble. But it won't stop.

She will die

She will die

"NOOOOOOO!!"

He opened his eyes, only to realize it was just a dream. He had a bullet of sweat and his breathing was raked. He took a deep breath to calm down and turned to see Eunseo on his side but only to find it's empty. 

He quickly sat up in panic but as soon as his eyes found Eunseo sitting, facing the bonfire. He could breathe in relief. His fast heartbeat turned to calm.

He slowly approached her, from a short distance he could see Eunseo was putting her hand over the bonfire.

Slowly he took a step more and put his arm over her shoulder, back hugging her, giving her warmth. 

"Why did you wake up so early?" He whispered on her neck, made her a little jolt in surprise but smiled in second once she knew it was Taehyung.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" She whispered back.

"Rude, I asked you a question and you dodge me with another question?"

Eunseo laughed.

"I don't know, I woke up and couldn't get to sleep again."  She shrugged before turning to him, looking at his soft gaze already set on her face.

"And why are you waking up?" She mumbled.

"Because I didn't find someone to cuddle with." 

"Geez.. you're such a kid." 

Taehyung laughed. He pulled away and moved to sit beside her.

"Are you cold?" He took her cold hand and brought it to his face. He blew on her hands playfully and rubbed it to warm it. Eunseo only lets him do whatever he childishly does. 

He was softly rubbing her hands, making sure every inch of her skin was warm. Until the dream started to appear in his mind. He stopped, the voice started ringing in his head again. His eyes were shaking. 

Noo.. not again.. He shakily mumbled.

Eunseo was slightly confused with his sudden quietness. She wanted to ask him what happened but at the same time he pulled her closer, pulled her head to his chest.

She could feel his heartbeat getting faster. She's getting worried.

"Tae, Are you okay?" She softly asked as she tried to look up to see his face, but he didn’t let her as he hugged her tighter. 

“Tae.. are..” She wanted to ask again but got tongue-tied with his next words. 

"I love you..." I can’t lose you.. Not again. He really wanted to speak up his mind but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to make her worried. He gave her a kiss on her hair. 

"I really love you so much.. Seo.." please don’t leave. He repeated.

Eunseo was slightly taken aback with his sudden confession. However It was the first confession after she regained her memories. She looked up to see his eyes which somehow turned sad.

She wanted to utter a word but he didn't let her, as he pressed his lips on hers softly, closing his eyes. He kissed her slowly, tasting her sweet pink lips, calming his drumming heartbeat. She was stunned for a moment but kissed him back in seconds.

The kiss was slow and sweet. He treasures every inch of her lips. All his worries were gone as well as the voice. He felt his chest flooded with butterflies, making him groan in pleasure. Kissing her it feels amazing like he was on cloud nine.

"I love you Seo." He panted as he pulled away for a second to take a breath.

"I love you too, Taehyung." She whispered back and their lips met again.

[salaciousslut]

Pop/punk/alt & edm are good genres!! I grew up on a lot of hispanic alt/punk/rock so i have a big soft spot for those regardless of the language spoken. I def dont think rap is for everyone, i grew up w/ hippop and it led me to rap in my teen years. But i didnt really get into rap the way i am now until Doechii showed up on the scene in late 2019! Also if i could ever get my hands on any one of your playlists i would be happy, I'd love to hear what songs you like!

Jesus christ you are fucking precious, i may even dare to say perfect<3 just a little puppy willing to be molded into someone's perfect toy<33 and you are too sweet darling 🥰 i wanna hear you call me handsome when youre drunk 🥺❤️ i'll take real good care of you i promise sweetheart<3

Oh! So its a fairly new thing :) i know you'll do good this year logging everything! I might ask about it every now and then to see how youre keeping up with them >:3 force some accountability on you hehe

Uhm!! I dunno if these things are interesting but i have only played D&D twice in my life and wanna play again soon! The cologne I have worn for the past year has been one my friend gave me for christmas '22, so if you ever come across bath and body works Marble cologne thats what i smell like most of the time. I love candles and i tend to like earthy and citrus scents ☺️ tell me more about yourself too, please sweetheart<3🥺

i love how diverse and unifyinf music is hehe!! i wanna listen to ur playlists too!!

hehehe puppy! i love being puppy sooo much bc i have a lot of energy and very very eager to please!! plus i dont need to be drunk to call u handsome, i just might be a lil bit more talkative and desperate when im drunk so ill feed into your god complex just a lil more than usual. well unless im in a bratty mood, but most of the time im very very obedient!!

hehe of course!! im doing pretty good actually, cumming about once a day, and crying when i need to but i love being help accountable!!

i love dnd!!! im in 2 different campaigns rn and j love playing with friends!! we should play together hehe!! brb im going to bbw and smelling u!! i have variety of different perfumes but today i smell like apples!! yummy!! and i love citrus scents too!! my candle that im burning rn is yuzu which smells amazing! i love fruity smells, and clean smells.

my favorite color is green! i dont have any pet but i love animals so much. i love going on little walks outside whenever im bored! and i loveeeeee sleeping so much. im just a sleepy girl who just likes to cuddle

[chifuyusfingers]

Tokyo Revenger boy's Reaction to you hide that you’re in the Hospital from them, and they find out.

_Mikey | Baji | Chifuyu | Kokonoi | Mitsuya | Sanzu | Shinichiro | Izana | kazutora | Kukucho | Ran | Rindo | Inui_

M i k e y

Mikey would be on a warpath once he found out you were in the hospital.

But when you woke up, he had worn himself out from being angry.

You would wait for him to wake up, and when he did he would be startled to see you awake.

He would ask you so many questions: “You’re awake? Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere? Do you want me to get a doctor?” Mikey wouldn’t express anger directly at you until after you were discharged.

But he would stay with you as much as he could, and would hardly get any sleep because he was so worried about your well being (even though you weren’t going to stay for that long).

C h i f u y u

Chifuyu would be extremely worried about you. He noticed you were a little sick lately, so when he heard you were in the hospital,

it was a worst case come true. He would instantly go to the hospital and would pick a fight with anyone who tried to deny him entry to visit you. You would wake up and he would be sitting with his head in his hands.

When he noticed you it was instant fretting over you. When you assured him you were fine and that it was something minor, he would sigh and lean back in his chair.

“You think I care that this is something minor? I care that you are here in the hospital and I knew nothing about it! Tell me if you aren’t feeling well and we come here together! But please… Don’t hide this from me.” Chifuyu may get a bit emotional and would tear up.

You would have to soothe him and promise to tell him. He would stay with you in the hospital for the day you had left there, and wouldn’t sleep– both from worrying about you and to make sure you were sleeping alright.

B a j i

Baji would be sitting on the edge of the bed staring at you when you woke up.

His number one concern would be how you were feeling and if you were in any pain. You assured him that it was nothing serious, and he just didn’t seem satisfied with your answer.

“If it was nothing serious, then you could have told me about it. Even if it was something serious, I would like to know this sort of thing. Your health is important to me, so please don’t hide this from me. I think I almost passed out from the shock.”

You would apologize to Baji and said you didn’t want to bother him. “It would bother me so much more if I didn’t know until after the fact!”

You would apologize and acknowledge your mistake. Baji would visit whenever he could find time, and more often than not he would bring you a snack or two in when he came.

K a z u t o r a

Kazutora is the type who would be a bit restless when he arrived. When you woke up he would be asking the doctors what was wrong with you.

When he noticed you were awake, he would direct all of his questions to you. Any attempt to calm him down wouldn’t go well at all.

You would have to talk him down from his anger, and once he was no longer angry, all that was left was worry for you. “How could you not tell me you weren’t feeling well? Why didn’t I tell you to go to the hospital?”

You would have to assure Kazutora that things like this happened and it was your fault for not checking yourself in sooner. “That really doesn’t make me feel better… Nothing will make me feel better until you get to get out of here.”

You would have to mess with Kazutora in order for him to finally crack a smile, albeit a small one. Kazutora would keep you company for the day or two you had to stay in the hospital. He would argue with the doctors if they tried to kick him out, and if they succeeded he would simply sneak back in later.

Shinichiro

Shinichiro would be crying when you woke up. When he heard your voice, he would instantly race to your side as if it was the end of the world.

He would hug you and you would have to repeat over and over how it wasn’t as bad as it may look.

He wouldn’t say much but would try to listen to you. Shin wouldn’t have to say much to you for you to understand that he was deeply hurt, by your decision to not tell him.

He would wear that on his sleeve. Once he stopped crying, he was relieved that it was nothing major and felt silly for crying so much. You would feel bad and promise to tell him how you were feeling truthfully from now on.

He would pick you when you were discharged and wouldn’t leave your side the entire day. “I want to make sure your a hundred percent.”

M i t s u y a

Mitsuya would be silently reading when you woke up. He would glance at you and continue to read his book.

You could feel the anger steaming off of him and were too scared to say anything at first. He scared you out of your skin when he asked, “Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?” You would begin to apologize for not telling him about the hospital, and he would seem slightly confused.

“Oh… I guess I should be upset about that too…” You’d ask why he was upset if not for that reason, and he would say he was mad at himself. He should have forced you to come to the hospital the instance you were sick.

You’d insist it wasn’t his fault, but he would continue. “No, it was my mistake for not saying what I thought. So I think I’ll have to be much more forward with you from now on.” It sounded scary to you. Mitsuya essentially would come when he could, and would give you the silent treatment for the next several days to come.

S a n z u

Sanzu is much more stubborn. I feel like he would be tempted to visit you a lot, but he would be too angry to do it.

You weren’t willing to tell him that you were in the hospital to begin with, so why should he visit you? He would find himself standing outside the door, unable to enter.

In the end, he would call you from outside the door and scold you over the phone. “Next time, we can go to the hospital together… Just please don’t do this ever again.” Sanzu would believe that you didn’t trust him enough to tell him this, and you apologized if you came off that way.

You would say that you knew he would panic, and that would cause him to open the door and argue with you in person. You would laugh as he scolded you. He would stay with you and glare at you every once in a while. He would also help you when you were discharged.

K a k u c h o

Kakucho is very lost when he finds the news. He doesn’t know what to do when he sees you in the hospital bed and is just lost.

He seems out of it till he hears your voice. He comes back to life and yells your name. He asks you several questions and if you didn’t answer him right away, then he would hit the button that summons a doctor to answer them.

He would cause chaos in his own caring way, and you would have to scold him for causing disarray at a hospital.

Leading him to scold you for hiding this from both of you. Essentially, the remainder of your visit would become a bickering fest between you two with no clear resolution other than your discharge.

From then on, if you so much as sneezed in front of Kukucho he would grab his coat and drag you to the hospital to get it checked out.

I n u i

Inui was concerned about your health before the hospital, but once he heard you were in there? He was in full on mothering mode.

He would bring you food and nag at you to eat and take care of yourself the entire time. He wouldn’t touch much on the fact that you hid the truth from him, and would be so much more concerned about your well being. That said, once you were healthy, prepare for an earful from Inui.

“You can’t just wait until you’re about to pass out to go to the hospital!! That’s crazy talk!” Inui would now give you a look whenever you coughed in front of him, a look that read: “If we go through what we did last time, I swear I’ll go insane–”

I z a n a

Izana would fight a lot of people. Since he came in angry, the hospital was reluctant to let them in.

The doctors would tell him he had to do something, he wasn’t going to be happy go lucky doing it. He was fuming just sitting beside you in the hospital. You’d expect that he would direct that anger at you once you woke up, right? Wrong.

He would actually be caring at first and ask about how this happened and how you felt at the moment.

But once all of those “formalities” were out of the way, then he would direct that anger at you. “How could you hide it until you are in the hospital!? Do you know how worried sick I was to hear about this? Don’t ever do this sort of thing again!” Izana would always turn a little serious from then on when he saw you and asked how you were doing.

R a n

Ran is in full on nag mode when he finds out you are in the hospital. You don’t have to be awake for him to start nagging.

The instance he opens your hospital door and sees you asleep, he would start nagging. “I swear to GOD, you must be out of your mind if you thought you could hide this from me forever! AH! So help me when you wake up I swear I’m going to give you an earful, just you WAIT!” Essentially, Ran would hype himself up so much that when you finally did wake up, he wouldn’t have much to say. So? He would play it off as if he was angry and shove a tangerine at you.

“Here! Eat IT!” Ran would sincerely worry about you and help you at discharge, and would take you to hospital upon hearing a single cough.

R i n d o

Rindo is another one to be silently angry when you first wake up.

He would ask you how you were feeling, and you’d say you were fine. “Is this the truth, or am I going to turn around and find out you really aren’t?” You would feel guilty and apologize.

This is one of the few times that Rindo would seriously scold you. It truly hurt him when he had to find out from his brother that you had wound up in the hospital. After you were discharged, Rindo would be lost in his own thoughts. It would take a little while, but he’d be back to normal if you gave him some time.

K o k o n o i

Koko wouldn’t really know what to do. He would be angry at you and himself, worried about your well being, and concerned with how you would feel seeing him.

He had all these thoughts going through his head as he waited for you to wake up. When you did, he wanted to be tough and stand by himself.

You shouldn’t have hid it from him. But he was just so relieved that you were okay that his facade melted away almost instantly. He just so glad to see you okay and well and that it was nothing major. Koko would realize a lot from worrying about you– like how much he cares about you and your well being.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[lu-lus-dicks]

okay this will be long so strap in

"worried I won't amount to anything" this hits home. I thought like this exactly and that feeling sucked, especially since it's because of your parents. I only have one piece of advice for this and it's not that deep. I know you want to make something of yourself, be told that you are amazing but that should be completely done with your desires and not some pressure from the outside world. if you don't end up doing anything with your life (which by the way, not true. i've seen myself how many people you've helped on here) that is okay. it's okay to just live life as an average joe who lived and died.

hiding yourself from your parents is something I relate to too. I haven't even mentioned my depressive tendencies to them because much like you, I don't know how it'll be recieved (though from my side, it's more done out of love for my parents rather than fear). it's valid that you don't share your feelings to them, especially since they've broken your trust before. not even your parents are entitled to you as a person and never forget that

sometimes, sadness can translate to anger. I know this from experience. my mom tends to start exploding everytime she's nervous. not justifying anything she might've done, just some food for thought

for what it's worth, at least you're expressing yourself here right? :)

we both surpress our emotions and that is eating us alive. I recently found that out when I got tumblr. you and everyone else has been so accepting of everything that for the first time in YEARS I felt something. now that I can compare my time before that, I can say with 100% guarantee that simply just letting it out can take some of the load off your shoulders. which is exactly why I encourage you posting these drafts even more

whoever came up with "overreacting" and "others have it worse" needs to die honestly. I don't see anything as overreacting. any sort of emotional reacting is adequate to what you are feeling. if a child scrapes their knee do you think they're overreacting? of course not, even though the pain inflicted is absolutely minimal. but we don't go around telling little kids "oh you're overreacting" or "others have it worse". no, we comfort them because we know that to a little kid, their little body can be the entire world in their eyes. the same way that pain translates to something bigger in the little kid, so can our pain in our bodies and "overreacting" is not a thing. just because something is small in comparison to another thing doesn't make it less worthy of attention. two things can be bad at the same time.

"I have a family, I have food, I had shelter. I shouldn’t have been sad." wrong. just because someone has all of these base human needs, doesn't mean they are exempt from suffering. just because someone can have it worse, doesn't make your own pain disappear and that's valid. seeking attention is not that selfish. you are always more than welcome to ask for my attention whenever I'm available and don't feel bad about it either. I encourage being an attention whore because god knows you need it.

"and was threatened to sent to a mental hospital, with padded walls." I hate this honestly. this shouldn't be a threat because it never works. it should be an offer of help, not a threat and the more someone makes it seem like a threat the less likely they are to view it as help and more as an attack on their person.

you'll never be a failure in my eyes vel. to me the biggest achievement in a person can be just how loving and kind they are because that takes strength. and I am proud of you for still having that strength within you even after all you've been put through. to still be a good person despite your suffering is truly impressive and worthy of praise more than anything else.

as for grandma J, firstly, tell her a thank you for me for keeping your spirits up. and as for the rest, I know it can be scary, especially since you love her so much, but death is part of life unfortunately. I hope your grandma lives to be 200 years old because she deserves it, but if you've made it here today, you'll have the strength to live tomorrow.

accepting help can be very difficult for some people vel, that doesn't mean they don't trust or appreciate your kindness towards them and oftentimes just being told you're there for them and that you'll lend an ear whenever they need it can be everything to the point where they don't need anything else. so don't you dare even think you're a failure

and WOW that part about feeling useless felt home. the depressive episode rant I had in my notes is similar and that kind of terrifies me because I honestly can't tell you how to help with that. I also struggle with myself and what I'm actually doing so at least you know you're not alone in this.

don't put all the blame on yourself for that message screenshot btw. if they really were uncomfortable with what you were doing, they failed to set boundaries with you and they shouldn't be surprised if it happened again. if you don't tell someone that something is making you uncomfortable, do you just expect them to realise? no. you couldn't have known. this is why I fucking hate neurotypical people, they just expect you to always know what's on their mind instead of communicating like they should. don't beat yourself over this vel, I struggle with it too.

and as a side note, if you are friends (and even worse girlfriends) and you aren't willing to lend an ear to your partner, then why are you partners in the first place? your partner is supposed to be someone you trust with your life, a companion and someone who you can lean on. sure, it may have made them uncomfortable, but there probably was a workaround for that.

know that no matter how big of an emotional baggage you think you have, I will always be here to lend an ear, even if you aren't asking for my advice and just want me to hear you out, that's okay too.

I know right now you don't want to dump all of that onto another, but hey, lulu is just a stranger on the internet that is willing to lend the ear you need. you won't be able to push me away that easily vel <3 after all, we are enemies to lovers

perfection is impossible to achieve. we're all human. we are built to make mistakes vel. I noticed you are always too quick to blame yourself for everything, but it's easy to forget in the heat of the moment that other people are human too, they make mistakes just like you. they are just better at disguising and hiding it from sight.

and figuring out what went wrong with your ex, isn't going to be the same for the next person vel. for example me. maybe your ex didn't like being called an idiot jokingly, but I do. we are all different with different tastes and it's all of our jobs to let everyone know where our boundaries are.

asking for help is never wrong vel. and once again, happy birthday <3

Draft #2

WARNINGS: long post, rant post, mentions of sh and suicide, and a lot of other things, personal rant(s), LIKE REALLY LONG POST, please do not read unless you think you are comfortable with repetition, and idk what else. I am a warning in itself.

(4/2/24) (mentions of sh and suicide)

It’s 1:38 in the morning. I don’t really know anymore. I’m just so worried I won’t amount to anything. My stepsister has always been better than me at everything. I still remember my middle school and high school years when I heard my mother and step-father talking shit about their kids, about my step-brothers. But I hardly ever heard them utter a bad word about my step-sister. I became something I didn’t want to be in my high school years, in hopes I could live up to my sister, hoping maybe it would make sure I wasn’t the next kid they talked shit about.

I already knew at the time that they didn’t really take me seriously back then. Not when it came to my morals anyways.

At times when one or the other was driving, I would have to text the other. And that was when visiting my father was mandatory. So every once in awhile, the message would pop up “you pick up the brat yet?”

I know they never meant it in that way. At least I hoped not. But honestly being someone I wasn’t, and being someone I’m not still, to this day, it sucks. I hate having to pretend to my parents, even to this day, despite my independence. I’m just so worried about acceptance, that I find it hard to face them. I fear telling my parents (on both sides) anything.

Mainly, because when they first found out about the self harm in middle school, it was a difficult situation. They said they wanted to help me. And then they took me to a therapist for a total of three-five times before they said ‘this isn’t working fast enough’ and pulled me out of it. I was always scared of being yelled at when I made mistakes. That lead to me fearing ever telling my parents anything, including my own emotions.

For a long time, once I finally lived with my mother again, I never saw her cry. I only ever saw her angry, or happy. But I never saw her sad. That made me think that being sad wasn’t normal, or that, I shouldn’t be sad about anything because she wasn’t. The reason she hid any of her sadness was because she didn’t want her own child worrying about her.

But her hiding her own emotions from me made me feel like I had to suppress mine as well. So I never trusted my parents with my emotions, either.

But I guess it didn’t help that they always said I was either ‘overreacting’ or just being a ‘drama queen’. Go this day idk if they were right, or if they were just, avoiding it.

I don’t know which one I’d want it to be. Because if they were wrong, and that my emotions were actually valid, what would that mean for me? For them? Would it make it seem like they had neglected my own emotional and mental well-being? If they were wrong, if they thought because of my overreacting and drama queen the fancies that my emotions weren’t valid, then what is the limit to validate emotions? What would it have taken for them to stop accusing me of overreacting or being a drama queen?

They never made me feel valid. They still don’t. The only good throng I’ve done so far with my life, is get good grades. It’s been so long since I heard one of my parents (step or not) say they were proud of me, so when they got the letter in the mail about my good grades in online schooling, when that happened and they said they were proud, I almost cried.

It’s strange.

For a long time back in middle school-high school, I desperately wanted to die. I didn’t want to live in a world where everyone would judge me for my smallest of mistakes and ignore my feats.

I knew that, being the youngest, I was my parents last chance to have a child they were proud of. Everyone else but my stepsister had failed to be a kid that my parents were proud of (or at least didn’t talk shit about). I knew that if I didn’t want to be talked shit about, I’d either have to leave, or change.

I was so done, with the world. I hated myself for my failures, I hated the way I had been raised. But I also hated myself, because I had no reason to. Im not living on the streets, I have a family, I have food, I had shelter. I shouldn’t have been sad. “It couldve been worse”, as the mentality goes. I didn’t deserve to be sad, and it made me feel worse. I felt like all I was doing was trying to gain attention, even though that’s not what I wanted. I thought I was being selfish because of my own emotions, and it still gets fucked in my head sometimes.

Back in my freshman year of high school, a girl (which for the sake of her identity and name I will not be naming), had hung herself in her closet. Rumor was because she was having problems at home.

Way back in middle school, even. A girl in my 8th grade year tried to kill herself. She planned it all out. She wanted to hang herself in the bathroom, and if she couldn’t do that, she had some sort of sharp object to try and slit her throat. She couldn’t hang herself, and she cut her throat, barely enough to bleed. It was not deep or long enough to kill her, only to sting. When her parents saw the injury on her neck, she got in trouble for it, and was threatened to sent to a mental hospital, with padded walls.*

I knew both those girls, in a sense. And I knew that the one from high school had it worse than I did. I felt shitty. I felt like I had no reason to be sad.

Like I had no validation, because I wasn’t supposed to show that much emotion in front of others, because what I learned from my mother without her knowing, was to surppress the sadness. I want to amount to something, I want to be something my family can be proud of. I don’t want to be the next disgrace, I don’t want to be the person without control of her emotions. I don’t want to become a failure because I lost, or because I couldn’t do what I needed to do.

4/5/2024

Time is going by so quick, it’s killing me. Just today with my grandmother. I went to stay with my father for the weekend, so I’m going back to her house Sunday night to spend the eclipse with her. But as she left the house which I’m staying with my father and his girlfriend, I feared ‘what if this is the last time I see her?’

She is less than 20 years younger than my GREAT grandmother who died only a few months ago.

I love this grandmother with all my heart (I’ll call her grandma J from now on), and I’d hate to see her die, at all. I’m literally going to see her on Sunday, only two days from now, why am I worrying so much? Why did I wonder if it would be the last time I see her?

I’m so scared. I’d be lost without her, she has been my rock for a long time. Even though she is heavily Christian, and I don’t feel as connected, I always feel better after spending some time with her, (whether we speak of God or not). I grew up, spending every other weekend with her instead of my father, because he wasn’t able to take care of me where he lived for a long time. I lived with Angela (another grandmother of mine who I HATE) for the first seven years of my life. Spending every other weekend with my Mother, and the weekends I didn’t spend with my mom, I spent with Grandma J. Things have changed heavily since then, I barely remember that time in my life.

But my grandma J. She means everything to me. I always leave her house happier than when I left it. No one else does that for me.

I’m so, so fucking TERRIFIED, of who I’ll be, where I’ll be mentally, when she’s gone.

I’m so so scared…

(4/8/2024)

It’s 12:41, so technically eclipse day. Had a serious talk w my grandmother. I told her I was Ace, (not the pan-romantic part, but yk) and she was pretty okay w it. Especially when I told her I wasn’t gonna have children of my own creation (I might adopt, cause I wanna make a home to those kids who don’t have one yk?) and I just got really emotional. It doesn’t matter how many times I fucking say it, I am so scared to lose her. I cried, thinking this may be the last time I see her. You never know. She almost got hit on her way to see me on Thursday last week! I know she might be gone soon and I am not ready for it. It may be a last time for everything, and I’m so so so fucking scared words can’t even describe it. Not through type/text. If I were recording myself, you’d hear my ugly crying, and my voice in general breaking so no. But the point is, I dunno what’s gonna happen. My future, and hers, scares me to death. When she’s gone… I may as well be too.

So if I disappear for a long time, you will know why.

If I go batshit crazy (whether it’s lashing out, or self-isolation, or pretending to be fine [ya know, the stages of grief]) you know why.

This woman is one of my few rocks. My grandmother, and my eldest blood brother, who I shall call ‘E’ for the sake of keeping their identities secret.

I, don’t know what’ll happen to me once either of them are gone. Same with my parents, but I trust my brother and grandmother more than I do them, so it will be harder to lose them, as much as it may seem crazy to say.

I’m scared. I know I keep saying it, but every day I spend, is another closer to my grandmother’s inevitable death. I hate the thought, yet it keeps coming back since my GREAT grandmother died a few months ago. It’s not fun.

I hate feeling this terrified.

I feel paralyzed, like a record skipping, the never ending thought(s).

It’s horrible.

(4/12/24) 12:43 am

I don’t think I’m good enough.

I keep failing myself and others, over and over again. I want to help people, but it’s so fucking frustrating when they won’t accept it. I get it, sometimes it’s hard to accept help. But (per specific example) when I’m asked for help for the smallest of things like understanding some work, and you apologize a million times, it hurts. I hate seeing people I care about apologizing. I don’t know how to help them because they refuse to let me do so. I just, feel like I’m failing them. I can’t help them and it makes me feel like shit.

I wanna help people. At this point, the people I care about, and my drive to help them always, is the only reason I’m alive. The past few years since I last therapied someone, have been shitty. I hadn’t been able to help others and it just went by so fast, and almost without any emotion. It was awful, I felt lost. I lost my will to write, read, and draw. I lost everything about myself. When I picked up drawing again I cried because I thought I lost what little talent I had because it was shit at first. I don’t even know who I am. Am I even who I used to be, or am I a carbon copy of my successful step-sister?

I forced myself to change in high-school so my parents would be proud of me, so that I would be successful.

So I wouldn’t struggle in my future, so I could get a scholarship to college so I wouldn’t be drowning in debt like my mother was most of my life.

I just wanted a steady life. And one without the shit talk my parents would do behind their kids’s backs.

Fuck I’m so tired of it.

I feel so useless damnit. I feel worthless. I don’t want to be here anymore, I just want peace. Because these thoughts, these voice keep coming back no matter what. Telling me I’m not good enough, that I don’t try hard enough and that I’m too lazy, that I make up excuses. But when I try to say I did try, they always say I didn’t push myself enough. I dunno, do I not try hard enough? I dunno. I’m just so sick of this endless battle and I want it to be done. One day I want those people to realize it was an act. I want my parents to realize that they fucked me up. That they put too much expectation on me without their own realization. I want them to know that the therapy they took from me only made it worse. Then being upset over one singular missing assignment (that we’re hardly ever my fault) only made it worse. That threatening to put me in an asylum at the age of 13 only made it worse. That talking shit about my step-siblings right in front of me only made my fear worse. That hiding their emotions from me only made it worse. Cause god fucking damnit I’m scared of you now! I’m scared to come to you for anything! I have to contact my brother, or my grandmother! And one day I might not even have them! You say I can trust you with anything but then you turn around and call me a drama queen, that I’m being too sensitive, that I’m overreacting, making up excuses, being a liar, just being lazy, not trying as hard as you know I can, stop making things a competition.

God damnit, what am I even doing? I’m nothing, nothing but a failure. I should be trying harder but here I am, still being lazy. And I’m just blaming everyone for it when it’s all my fault.

(4/13/24)

^i didn’t move on to someone else four days later. Just because me and my bf were friends didn’t mean we were together. And I never, EVER cheated on her. Sure, I found someone new and he’s my bf now, but at the same time me and her, we both realized we were never romantic with each other. And I broke up with her? She was the one who approached me and said that she felt like her feelings for me weren’t being returned (which was true, I realized. We called each other girlfriends but I felt like she was nothing more to a friend to me) and I thought she was okay with it. Mind you when she came up to me I thought she was going to ask me to an event, but instead she called it off. I thought it would be better suited that way anyways, and we both agreed on that but I did NOT break up with her! And apparently, when she talked to me, she was scared to tell me that I offended her every once in awhile by some things I said (which she never said what do I still don’t know and it’s fucking killing me), ^because she thought I was gonna blow up at her. Apparently I fucking scared them and I don’t even know I didn’t realize they felt that way and just about a month ago I get this message on top of it like.

I probably should’ve realized I was a piece of shit. I was just like that bitch from high school we all collectively hated. God I’m so fucking sorry…

I thought we were still friends. This is a message I got from them through my old asf Wattpad account that is cringe. That I stopped checking until I saw that post today. They never intended for me to read that message so soon. They even said so themselves but fuck.

I’m sorry, to you both. I know you’ll never see this. But I’m so so so sorry, I didn’t realize.

I’m trying I am TRYING to never do this again but I still do this shit to people, don’t I? I just Fuckin manipulate and hurt them. I can’t just, spout off my trauma or whatever the fuck and shit like that! I know that now and I feel so fucking bad damnit… I didn’t realize I promise I am so sorry.

Why didn’t you say anything? I should’ve noticed, you shouldn’t have HAD to say anything after the fact I should’ve just known. Why can’t I see these things? I never see red flags, I never see my OWN red flags and manipulate tendencies until someone points them out. Why can’t I read social cues and shit?

God I’m trying, but I’m not at all, am I?

I just hate that I didn’t realize! I didn’t break up with her she broke up with me! We both agreed it was better, but I guess she was a lot more hurt by it than she let on and I thought we resolved things but. God fucking damnit.

I can’t ever do this to anyone I REFUSE! I can’t do this, I can’t put this pressure on people ever again, I don’t want to push them away. I never want this to happen again I don’t want to hurt people like this again.

I lost my two closest friends. And I didn’t even fucking realize it.

Fuck I don’t know what I’m going to do. I already apologized like a million times for scaring them with my slight anger issues, but I never actually hurt hurt them physically I didn’t realize I lashed out at them and I didn’t realize I was forcing them to listen to my problems. I thought they were okay with helping me but they didn’t say anything all because they were scared and I just.

I’m fucking freaking out, but I need to calm down. I need to calm down, and just breathe, and everything will be fine. Fuck it’s now 1:14 am I shouldn’t be thinking right now it’s dangerous.

But fucking damnit, I knew I shouldn’t have just dumped all my shit onto them but FUCK.

I need a fucking therapist for that, not my FUCKING FRIENDS.

God what is wrong with me, making my friends my therapists?

Fuck. I lost my friends, I almost have no one left Irl except for this one small friend group, which has drama and way too many sex jokes for me to even want to be IN it anymore. But they’re all I got and we stick together until the end. Most days I don’t mind it, but sometimes I hate being one of the only girls in said friend group.

Fuck I don’t know what to do, I can’t tell my bf about this or else he’ll flip, and I can’t make him my therapist, that’s wrong I was told so! My bf has had it so much worse than I have I shouldn’t be freaking out about this as much, this is nothing compared to what him and so many others have gone through.

But damnit. I DONT have a therapist, not anymore, and I can’t ducking afford one or even talk my parents into helping me get one because as said before they think the process is too damn slow. I can’t fucking tell anyone without feeling bad and knowing I’m a shitty person, because until now I didn’t realize telling people my problems was a bad thing, that asking them to help me out as if they were my fucking therapist (WHICH THEY ARENT AM I STUPID? To just dump all that shit on them without them even saying if it was okay or not?) was a bad thing.

So I’m alone, but that’s fine. I can’t tell anyone anyways so that’s how it’s gotta be and I can live with that. I have for awhile. But I don’t want to be alone. But I’d rather struggle alone than hurt anyone else because I don’t want to lose anyone else, or hurt them, or push them away or scare them like I did with these two.

I don’t want to be w/o my friends. I don’t I really don’t.

I’m never doing that again I promise you I’ll never do it again. I’m so fucking sorry I never realized and I know I’m a piece of dirt shit for not realizing sooner, and for scaring you guys to the point you couldn’t communicate with me w/o fear on your end. I should’ve known and I am so so sorry.

Fuck I even talked to my brother and we have the same timezone I shouldn’t have bothered him. Thankfully he let me go quickly. Fuck I hope I didn’t scare him off either…

(4/14/24) 10:44 pm

I’m so tired. Tired of feeling useless and like a failure. If I fail the people I care about then I am NOTHING. I don’t care about myself, I don’t I just want to make people proud of me. I don’t want them thinking I’m a waste, I don’t want them seeing me the same way I do. Please oh fuck… I don’t want to be a disappointment. I really don’t. I don’t want to hurt people, I want to help them. I feel like an utter piece of shit. I can’t ever talk to my friends about my problems again im not doing that to anyone every again. That’s why this will never be posted, I can’t hurt anyone else with my stupid rants and tendencies. I feel like im manipulating and hurting people by being open with them and I don’t want pity I do not want that, I just want them to know I’m not perfect. And even that is scary because if I am not PERFECT in every single aspect then I failed.

I keep apologizing, sounding like a broken record of an ex trying to get their relationship back but I really am sorry. I talked to my step-father about what happened yesterday concerning my friends. He said that I was one of the nicest person he’s ever met, saying how he knows I try to go outta my way to avoid hurting people but what if he was lying? Cause what if I did say something mean?

I call people idiots and jerks a lot, but I never mean it! I normally mean it in a joking matter but that’s not really nice is it? I’m reeling trying to figure this out and I just want to know what I did wrong so I never do it again. I know not to spout my problems off like I did, I know to watch what I say but how am I supposed to watch EVERYTHING I say?

Fuck I don’t care what I have to do. I’ll do anything, anything to make sure I never hurt anyone like that again. Scaring people, hurting them, it’s so fucking scary to me. I don’t want to do that, that’s the person I aim to NOT be. I wanna help, I wanna heal! Not hurt and scare. I sound like a fucking broken record and it’s pathetic.

I can’t ever post this, it will only make things worse and it’ll only make me feel worse. Because if I post this draft, I’ll be forcing everyone who sees this to be my therapist and I swore to never do that again.

Fuck man. I want help. I’m actually asking for help for once, straight up saying it. But I can’t, the one time I want it, the only time I feel I need it, I can’t ask for it because it’s wrong to do so.

(4/18/2024)

I know that none of my “friends” will be texting me in my birthday this year. I’m not expecting them to text me this year, because I’ve lost all my friends. I don’t think anyone will care this time around. At first I was excited! But getting older isn’t fun at all. People start leaving, start to say things they held back, start to tell you things you didn’t notice before. You grow apart and soon you become alone.

I realize that I should be happy my family is texting me, cause sometimes people’s families don’t even text them. But it’s kinda a requirement, that’s your fam, they should know these things. And most of the time, they wish you happy birthday as an after thought. Friends don’t do that (unless they need to be reminded) but still.

I’m gonna miss those two.

(4/19/2024) 11:31 pm

It’s almost my birthday! Hah. What a cruel joke honestly.

I miss those two so much, every time I see the one who messaged me I instantly go quiet, turn my head away until I’ve walked past them. Fuck, I moved around so much during my elementary school years, those two were the longest friends I’ve ever made.

Everyone already has their best friends.

I’ll always be the outsider.

I really am alone aren’t I? That one friend that never gets invited, that hangs back.

The last one they pick to partner up w in classes kinda shit (which, is also true atm).

I’m alone and it sucks. I miss them so much. I don’t care what that one said, I want them back I just want my friends back.

I want my gossip gals back.

My face to face, same time-zone, Irl friends who I can trust my life with.

I’m losing people left and right. I can’t take it. I’m fucking crying less than 30 minutes before my birthday and it’s pathetic.

People are without families, without homes, and I’m crying over this?

Fuckin stupid…

[jaehyunnie77]

hey babess i love your writing! can i request a jaehyun x ceo! y/n fic? (fluff + smut) something along the lines of jaehyun being the only one who can turn boss babe y/n soft & submissive?

Pairing: assistant!jaehyun x female!ceo

Genre: smut and tiny fluff

Warnings: mentions of masturbation, sexual tension, office sex, fingering, oral (male recieving), dom jaehyun, sub reader, protected sex

Word Count: 2.2k

a/n: hi love! thank you so much for the request. it makes me so happy to hear you love my writing <3. I had fun writing this one. I'm so sorry this took forever, but I do hope you like it. Also, Lemonade and Sticker Jaehyun did something to me so I got carried away a bit lol. enjoy

—

Knock knock.

"Come in!" you yell keeping your eyes on the computer screen. You really don't understand why people use Urgent as the subject line when it wasn't really urgent at all. The door to your office opens and the woody cologne of your assistant hits your nose. It takes everything in you to continue reading the email.

"Miss Y/LN, you have a five o'clock meeting today with design department." Jeong Jaehyun looks at his tablet in his hand to make sure there wasn't anything else he was missing. Last time you missed an important conference call all because he wasn't paying close attention to your schedule.

"Fuck." you say under your breath. You completely forgot about the meeting and honestly, didn't want to go. You stop reading and rub your temples. You look up just in time at your assistant and you both lock eyes. There is no denying there is heavy sexual tension between you both. Everyone in the office, hell, everyone in the entire building can sense the chemistry between you and your assistant.

You won't admit it to anyone, but the way he talks to you in his soft voice, makes your ovaries go in overdrive. The way his hand would slightly touch yours when handing you papers, gave you goosebumps. From your desk you have a perfect view of him, you can't help but look at him and daydream. When you two would talk about something outside of work, you can't help but smile and laugh with him. You wouldn't say you were whip for him, he was just a good eye candy to have around during stressful times.

Okay, you may have thought about him and his fingers a couple of times whenever you masturbated, but no one needed to know that.

However, you would never act on those fantasies because you are the CEO of a multimillion-fashion company. You can't afford to be distracted.

"Cancel and move it to another date and time next week. I have all of these paperwork I need to sort through." you say.

Jaehyun nods his head as his hand starts tapping away on his tablet. "Done. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No that is all. You may leave for the day."

Jaehyun gives you another nod and walks out of your office. You stare at his back and thirst over his figure. You wish you could run your hands all over his broad shoulders, hug around his waist, and your hands running through his gel back hair.

Jeong Jaehyun has been your assistant for the last four months and surprisingly, he is the only one who stayed the longest. All of your other assistants were either fired or quit because of how demanding you are. You were prepared to find another assistant when Jaehyun quit, but he could handle your sharp tongue and ranging mood swings.

In the end, it works out for you because you get to see his muscles flex and his dimples almost every day of the week. You get to boss him around whenever you like just to see if he would break one day. Strangely enough, he is the only one who makes you feel this way, both horny and soft for him.

If you could, you would fuck him on your desk and have your way with him. You would edge and overstimulate him over and over again, if only your reputation wasn't on the line. Your pussy clench around nothing with just the thought of Jaehyun under you. Before your imagination could run any more wilder, you get back to work.

The following day, you were overwhelmed with the stacks of paper work that sat on your desk. Jaehyun has been helping you sort through most of it the entire day and by the time you look at your clock, it was well past eleven o'clock. You sigh as you glance over at Jaehyun who looks just as tired as you.

"Jaehyun that should be it for today. We can sort through the rest on Monday." you collect the papers in front of you and put them in your file cabinet. "You should go home to your girlfriend or whoever is waiting for you at home." you mentally slap yourself for even saying that aloud.

Jaehyun sees your flustered state and grins as he puts the stack of papers on one side of his desk. "It's fine and for your information, I don't have anyone waiting for me."

You try your hardest to breathe and tighten your cross legs. It was his voice and the way he said it that sent shivers down your spine. His sexy sulky voice that you've heard once and made your pussy clench. Oh how you want to fulfill your fantasies right now.

"Miss Y/LN?"

"Yes Jaehyun?"

You didn't notice Jaehyun getting up from his chair and walking towards you.

"Y/N."

You finally look up surprise to see him leaning against your desk right beside you. He has a cocky smile and even from this angle, he looks like a hot Thor, but hotter.

You gulp as you regain your composure, "What is it Jaehyun?"

Jaehyun leans down, his face comes closer to yours, and you don't dare back away. When his face was inches from yours, you whisper, "This is unprofessional."

He gazes into your eyes, still smirking, "Was it unprofessional all the times we've been eye fucking from across the room?"

You sigh as you gave in and close the gap connecting your lips. It was cold a minute ago, but now it was hot. Hot and sexy. He grabs your neck to keep you in place as you get up from your chair and your hands finding their way to his neck. Both of your hands wander all over each other, until you start to unbutton his white shirt and he unzips your dress.

The height difference is making you weak, but you want to show him you're the boss and dominate him. Jaehyun notices what you're doing and you feel him smile in your heated make out session.

"Still trying to be the boss Y/N?"

"I am the boss Jaehyun." You finally get rid of his shirt and damn, does this man work out. You stop to admire his hardened abs, while Jaehyun finally takes off your dress, admiring you in just your bra and panties. You both take each other in.

To be clear, this has never happened before to you. You were always the one to set the pace, to show your partners for the night you were in charge, but this was different. Jaehyun was different. He was captivating and you wanted him to destroy you now that you've seen what it's like to be kissed and touched by him.

He leaves kisses on your jaw, your neck, to your chest and as he senses the sudden change in attitude, he growls. He captures your lips once more as he picks you up to sit you on your desk. He pushes everything on top of your desk away onto the floor and lays you down. He continues his kiss attack by leaving purple bruises all over your chest, boobs, and stomach. When he finally reaches where you need him the most, he teases you over your panties.

"Jaehyun." you whine.

"Yes baby." Even the nickname is driving you crazy.

"Stop teasing."

"If you say so." Jaehyun pushes your panties to the side and slides a finger between your folds.

"You're dripping wet. All for me?"

Without an answer or a warning, he pushes in a finger, then a second. The stretch makes your back arch as he pumps his digits into you. He curls his fingers and set a rapid pace as your walls pulsate around his fingers making you see the stars. Before you could reach your orgasm, he stops and takes them out.

"Jaehyun!"

"No. Be a good girl and don't come until I tell you to."

"I would do no such -"

He reinserts his fingers pumping into you again and when you clench, he stops again. He loves to see your expression when you were right on the edge and can see the frustration take over.

"J-"

"I said, be a good girl and come when I tell you to. If not, you won't come and we'll do this all night if we have to."

Fuck was he hot.

You whimper as you slowly nod to his command.

"Good girl. Now get on your knees."

You sit back up and get down on your knees anticipating for what's to come. Just as you were about to unzip his pants, he stops you with his hand on your wrist. "Don't. Hand behind your back." Once again, you did as you were told as you watch Jaehyun slowly unzip his pants and bring down his boxers. His long hard cock standing proud almost hitting your face. Precum visible as it leaks from his tip. You unconsciously lick your lips wanting nothing more than to have him in your mouth.

"Suck."

With your hands still behind your back, you inch forward and put him in your mouth. Jaehyun groans at the feeling of your warm mouth around him. You bob and twist your head as you slurp on his dick. Saliva mix with his precum are coming out of the corner of your mouth. You pull off him to catch your breath but Jaehyun wasn't having it. He grabs the back of your head, pushes his cock into your mouth, and fucks your mouth. You feel him hit the back of your throat and gag around him.

Jaehyun hisses when you moan and gag around him, "You're fucking sexy."

When he feels himself almost coming, he pulls you off, helps you up from the ground, and bend you over the desk. "Spread your legs."

You do as you he says and spread your legs best as you can. He grabs a condom from his wallet and rolls it on, pumping himself a few times before finally entering you. You let out a loud moan when his girth stretches you out perfectly. You feel so full.

Jaehyun doesn't wait for you to get use to him as he starts to pound into you. The way his hips thrusts into you has you moving up on your desk. You try to grab onto anything, but Jaehyun kept your hands behind your back still. Your head laid to the side and Jaehyun has the perfect view of your fucked out face.

He leans down next to your ears, "Do you think you could boss me around as a lost boy?" he thrusts harder.

"J-Jaehyun, ahh!"

"Do you think you could make me your bitch boy and tell everyone to reschedule your meetings every day?"

"Fuck!"

"Ah, do you think you could tease me every day when you wear those short dresses and skirts, bend over in front of me, and don't expect me to get hard?"

"Fuck fuck fuck!"

"What would everyone say when the CEO is getting fucked by her assistant?"

"Th-they w-won't b-believe y-you."

He growls in your ear, "Even when I'm balls deep in you, you still want to be the boss."

He pounds into your harder and faster making you see the stars, "Please Jaehyun."

"Who's the boss Y/N?" Jaehyun pulls your hair bringing you up to his chest. The new position as him hitting in deeper as you continue seeing the stars as tears fall out of your eyes.

"Jaehyun! You are! Oh my fucking God! Please don't stop, don't stop."

"You like that? You like getting your hair pulled?"

"Fuck yes! Only for you. Please let me come."

He was getting close too, "Come on my dick baby." You didn't need to be told twice as you let go and cum on his cock and soon enough he also reach his climax.

His hold on your hair loosens up as you fall forward on your desk with him falling on top of you, both of you worn out. He kisses your glistening shoulders as you feel him go soft inside of you. He pulls out throwing the condom away and helps you get dress.

Standing there with clothes back on and hair slightly messy, you suddenly feel shy. Jaehyun caresses your cheek as you shyly look up at him, a warm smile on his face with those beautiful dimples showing.

"Hi." he whispers.

"Hi." you feel yourself get butterflies in your stomach.

"I know this is reverse, but do you want to get dinner tomorrow?"

You study his face for any remorse or seriousness, but all you found is adoring eyes staring back at you.

"I'd love that, but," you pause. Jaehyun's expression falls.

"But?"

"But I'm still your boss and," you wrap your arms around his neck while his found your waist, "you're fired."

You smile up at him, feeling the rumble of his laughter. "That is fine by me as long as I have you by my side." He kisses your lips and you kiss back.

"About time honestly." you joke as you detached yourself to get your purse.

Jaehyun smiles at you, "Well if you weren't so busy bossing me around and playing this cat and mouse game -"

You lightly smack his chest laughing and you both walk out of your office interlocking your hands.