#whenever i get disposable income again im likely gonna buy a shitty non-apple tablet

[notquiteaghost]

a revelation ive had at least twice this year alone & will presumably continue to have regularly cuz i have object impermanence (objects in question: basic facts about my own brain), is, when you are autistic, not only is stimming a whole activity, it's a load-bearing activity

like i have excised most of my internalised bullshit abt needing to be Productive and Useful, but spending a couple hours playing a simple puzzle game while listening to music still sometimes trips the evil little capitalist demon living in my head into saying "waste! waste of time! no point! wasted!" & wow it sure isn't. wow it sure is actually fundamental to my functioning to spend a solid chunk of my time doing my little repetitive tasks while having my little repetitive sensory experiences. whenever i don't do this i feel terrible! huh!