#when will i have my coffee meet cute with my swede

[nylwnder]

he’s so boyfriend

[flannel-cladpika]

Hot Cocoa - Human!Sweden x F!Reader

A/N: Wrote this many years ago, but decided to come back to it and touch it up a bit.

TW: Fluff

The sound of wood being cut was the first thing to greet your ears as you opened your eyes. 

You looked out the frost-covered window beside your bed, only to see the familiar tall stature of your blonde housemate out in the mid-calf deep snow, wielding an axe and cutting up logs in only a sweatshirt and thick pants.

You reached for your phone on your bedside table. It was still only 7 in the morning and the current temperature outside was -28 degrees C.

You sighed. "He knows better than to go out without his coat."

You'd known the "Nordics" since childhood, and had grown up in the same neighborhood as them for a few years. Even when they all moved back to their homelands, you all still kept in contact regularly.

When you had decided to moved into an apartment in Sweden, you were welcomed by all your friends with a party and booze, which ended with a very drunk Matthias needing to be cared out the door by Tino and Lukas while Emil and Berwald looked on in a mixture of amusement and disapproval.

However, about a month into your stay, your apartment was flooded due to a plumbing issue, and left you with nowhere to stay for at least a few months. Berwald came to help you pack up everything that could be salvaged, and even offered up his home for you to stay in. You had agreed, thankful for his generosity.

You didn't know that you'd be finding yourself still staying there a year later, since the house was three times the size of your apartment and Berwald had insisted that you stay with him instead of going back to that "run-down place". He had a point. The place was old and there was always something that needed to be fixed.

Even after having stayed with the Swede for over a year, you still worried for his health whenever he went out into the cold underdressed.

So, after climbing out of your comfy nest of blankets and putting on the fluffiest coat in the closet along with your thickest sweatpants and snow boots, grabbed Berwald’s parka and headed out into the snowy wonderland.

“Berwald!” you called as you opened the back door, stepping outside and immediately noticing how the snow came up to your knees.

Said man stilled his axe at the sound of your voice. The male turned to see an image that made him almost chuckle.

There you were, trudging through the deep snow, bundled up in the large white fluffy coat he bought you (which he bought because he thought you looked cute in it), carrying his parka in your arms. You looked like a little snowshoe hare.

However, he soon became worried once he remembered how cold it was, and instead walked towards you to meet you half-way.

You reached up and put the large coat around the Swede’s shoulders, sighing as you did so. “Ber, I know you’re used to the cold, but you’re still human, and you need to stay warm! How many times must I remind you?” you scolded softly, not a trace of malice in your tone.

The man’s eyes softened at your actions, proceeding to put his arms through the sleeves of the winter garment. “Tack.” he replied, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

You smiled. "You're welcome. Now, I'm going to head in and go make us something warm. I'll see you inside." 

He nodded and turned back to the pile of yet to be chopped wood.

Stepping through the snow, you made your way back, taking off your coat and snow-covered boots once inside and changing into a pair of flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt that said 'Let Me Have My Coffee First.' It had been a gift from Berwald, and while it was too big to wear out, you found that it made the perfect sleep-shirt.

You contemplated what to make as you looked through the fridge and cabinets. Having found milk, heavy cream, and chocolate, you decided that hot chocolate was a good option.

Just as you grabbed a medium pot that was hanging, you heard the back door open, letting in a small gust from outside.

You peeked out from the corner of the kitchen to look at the man who'd just come in.

It was a little comical. 

There he was; coat, pants, and boots all caked in snow, and a large arm-full of chopped logs in his hold. His hair and eyelashes still had snow stuck to them too, reminding you that you should’ve brought him his hat too.

You smiled a little before returning to the kitchen, hearing the blonde setting down the wood in the metal firewood holder next to the fireplace in the living room.

"I'm done with the firewood." the man stated aloud in his usual monotone and heading upstairs, likely to change out of his current clothes and into something more comfortable.

"Ok! Just starting on the hot cocoa!" you called from the kitchen, pouring the milk and heavy cream into the pot as you put the heat to medium-low.

After a bit, you heard Berwald come back down the stairs and head into the living room. You heard him opening the flue of the chimney and putting logs into the fireplace as well as the sound of him striking a match.

You smiled at the thought of a nice warm fire to sit by.

You continued to smile as you absentmindedly stirred the milk and cream, making sure the mixture didn't scorch.

After a few minutes of stirring and then adding the chocolate and a bit of cocoa powder to undercut the sweetness, you finally turned the stove off and went to grab two mugs from the cupboard.

Unfortunately, the mugs were on the top shelf and you couldn't quite reach them, though it wasn't without trying.

Suddenly, there was a toned chest pressed against your back and a muscular arm steadied on the counter to the your right while the other reached up and easily grabbed both the handles of the mugs you were hoping to get.

"Here you go." Berwald said, backing up to hand you the cups and look into your eyes as you turned around to face him.

You had to suppress the blush that wanted to creep onto your cheeks from the blonde's close proximity. He wore a pair of black sweatpants that seemed to hang off his hips, and a grey t-shirt that hugged his form just enough that you could make out the faint outlines of his muscular figure.

"Thank you." you said as calmly as you could, turning back to the stove with the mugs.

"No problem. I'll go get some blankets." the male stated, heading off towards the hallway closet.

You let out a small breath of relief before pouring the chocolatey contents of the pot into the two cups and adding some mini marshmallows from the pantry.

You walked into the warm, fire-lit living room with the two mugs in hand. Berwald opened up the large fuzzy blanket he'd grabbed and motioned for you to get under the covers. You carefully sat down next to him on the couch, offering him the mug that said "Viking Life" on it.

The icy-blue-eyed man hummed in satisfaction once he took a sip of the hot beverage, a miniscule smile on his lips.

"It's good." he stated plainly.

"Thanks." you replied, scooting slightly closer.

"(Y/n)?" the man asked, turning toward you .

"Yeah?" you responded turning your head to face the man whom you'd slowly grown to love over the past year.

Just as you faced the blonde, he leaned down and kissed you, catching you off guard. It wasn't forceful or needy, but it wasn't entirely chaste either. It felt like a kiss that you’d give your spouse as you left for work. 

Your cheeks bloomed with a red that would’ve put the Danish flag the shame.

“W-Wha-” you began, before being cut off.

"Jag älskar dig. I want you to marry me." Berwald said without a hint of hesitation or jest.

Your eyes widened as you took in that information. After a few moments however, you began to laugh.

"Is something funny?" Berwald asked, genuinely confused.

You sighed. "Ber, you can't just say you want to marry me when we haven't even dated." you explained.

"Do you love me?" the blonde asked, still straight-faced and no sign of being nervous.

You blushed at the question, but shyly nodded.

"Do you not want to marry me?" he followed up.

The blush on your cheeks only reddened. 

"I never said that." you replied.

"Then what is the problem?" the Swede inquired, seeming not to understand the issue.

"Berwald, we haven't dated or even had any kind of romantic relationship. Wouldn't you say that it's a bit too early for us to get married?" you asked.

The Nordic man pondered your words for a moment. He’d loved you for a long time, and from your reaction to his kiss and your answers to his questions, you felt the same.

"No, I don't. We have lived together for over a year and we've known each other for a lot longer. I love you and you love me, so I don't see any problem." the man stated, as though he wasn't talking about one of the biggest decisions of a person's life.

"I-I, b-but...umm.." you stammered, trying to think up a rebuttal to that statement.

"Well, y-you don't even have a ring for me, so-" you started.

But you were promptly cut off by the man before you fishing into his pajama pants pocket and pulling out a little velvet box. He opened the lid to reveal a modest but beautiful silver ring with a small icy-blue gem in the center.

Your jaw dropped at the realization that he was completely serious about this.

"Will you marry me?" Berwald asks, a faint hint of a smile on his lips.

You sighed with a chuckle. There was just no convincing him, was there?

"I will." you answered with a smile, kissing the man’s chocolate-flavored lips as he put the ring on your finger.

-THE END-

A/N: Sorry I’ve been gone for a while! I swear I’m not dead! Just been low on motivation and inspiration. This took A LOT of rewriting, as I wrote this many years ago back when I was in high school. I’d say about half of this is rewritten or completely new additions to the original draft.

Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you guys enjoyed!

Translations

* Tack - Thank you

* Jag älskar dig - I love you

[dragonmuse]

Could we get Izzy’s perspective at the passport office when he ran into Pru? I also wonder if he would bring Lucius’ drawing to their coffee meeting? I’m loving the “and be prudent” tag!!

(@objective-j also requested more of Pru and Izzy meeting, so here is more of that from Izzy's POV. and lol I don't usually give the more minor OCs tags, but that one felt right! Also Pru seems well liked so she may crop up from time to time.)

“No fucking way,” Lucius voice echoed around the car. “For a big city, this place can be small as hell. Are you okay?” 

“I don’t know,” Izzy admitted. He hadn’t actually pulled out of his parking space. He didn’t actually have anywhere to go, a lie told to let him escape. “Sort of. I mean I barely knew her. She was a kid.” 

“Why don’t you come over, huh? I’ll make you a drink while I do prep.” 

“Yeah, yeah all right.”  

The back door was closed, but unlocked when he arrived and slipped inside. The Swede was sweeping and singing along to ‘Dancing Queen’, occasionally swirling the broom around. Eddy was laying down on the stage pointing up at some of the lighting while Jim stood over them. When Izzy entered, they gave him a lazy finger wave. 

“Hey, boss.” 

“Iz!” Eddy cried out from the floor. “What are you doing here?” 

“Stealing your liquor.” 

“Don’t tell Stede, he gets prickly about that.” 

“Why the fuck would I tell him?” Izzy rolled his eyes. “Are you stuck down there?” 

“Nope, trying to figure out which bulb is flickering. It’s not doing it regularly, so if I stay down here I might catch it and we can replace it before show time.” 

“You’ll get spots in your vision.” 

“Probably!” 

Izzy decided against continued argument. Jim could handle it. Or just sit there and wait for their ‘I told you so moment’. Both seemed equally satisfying. He took his usual seat at the bar and didn’t have to wait long for Lucius to emerge from storage brandishing vodka bottles in both hands. 

“Goblin!” he set the bottles down on the bar and came over to give him an acessing look. “Figured out how you’re feeling yet?” 

“Working on it.” 

“Pink or yellow?” 

Izzy didn’t bother asking for what. “Yellow.” 

“Cool, try this,” Lucius set a martini glass in front of him. It had about an inch of very yellow liquid in it. 

Izzy took a sip and did his best to keep his face neutral. “Little sour.” 

“Damnit,” Lucius sighed, picking it up and taking a sip himself. “Ooooh shit. Yeah. Okay. Went too hard on the pucker.” 

“What’s the pink?” 

“Same idea, less sour, more strawberry. I want to put a few fun drinks on the menu for February. You know the month of loooove.” 

“Cute,” Izzy shook his head. “Yellow one doesn’t really seem in line.” 

“Excuse you, but I’m in love with a sourpuss myself,” Lucius grinned. 

Izzy huffed out a pleased laugh. “Is that what you’re going to call it?” 

“Maaaybe. We’ll see. Got to make it drinkable first. For now,” Lucius poured him a straight up shot of vodka and set in front of him. “Down that than talk to me.” 

“Thanks.” He threw it back and then set the glass aside. “I don’t know. It was sudden. Barely recognized her.” 

“How old was she the last time you saw her?” 

“Fourteen, maybe fifteen. And yeah, decades ago.” 

“Does...I don’t know. Did she look like Faith?” Lucius talked about her now like he had known her too and Izzy hadn’t known how much he’d needed that. 

“She didn’t back then. I mean yeah, you could tell they were sisters, but Pru was taller already by the time I met Faith. I mostly recognized her from her nose. Pru had a very up-turned nose as a kid. Between that and the accent, I got there.” 

“What was she like?” 

“Only talked to for a minute. Mad, mostly.” 

“Why?” 

“The ring.” 

“Shit. Really?” 

“I showed it to her. She didn’t know it was from me, apparently. They threw out all of....” he couldn’t really think about that. Couldn’t say it. “Gave her my card, then go the fuck out of there.” 

“Uh, Iz. You gave her your business card?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to go through the whole dance of trying to give her my number.” 

Lucius lifted his brows, “So, you know that I think it’s incredibly sweet and all, but uh, did you tell her what you named the business?” 

Izzy stared at him for a long second, then groaned and dropped his face into his hands. “Shit.” 

“I think it’s fine. I’m sure she’ll draw the right conclusion from it.” 

“What conclusion?” He asked into his palms. “Is there one that doesn’t make me seem kind of pathetic?” 

“There is nothing pathetic about how you love people,” Lucius chided. “It’s enduring. It’s beautiful. And kind of obsessive, but lucky for you I’m into that.” 

“Thanks,” he sighed. “Well. It’s done anyway. Doubt she’ll call.” 

“Bet she will,” Lucius countered. “Hey, you think she’s got a photo of her?” 

“No idea. Possible.” 

“HA! FOUND IT! FUCK YOU LIGHTING FIXTURE!” 

“I think I’m going to be asked to get the stepladder,” Lucius determined. He dropped a kiss in Izzy’s hair. 

Izzy stuck around, watching the entire inefficient show that was the Revenge staff trying to change a lightbulb. If it had been happening in his home base, he would’ve killed all of them, but here it was mostly amusing. Distracting. 

He stayed for the show too, then gathered a goodbye kiss from Lucius before heading back home.  It wasn’t until he had eaten a late dinner, finished the book he was reading, showered and gotten into bed that his feelings caught up with him. He lay in the dark and let the grief wash over him. It had been a long time since he’f felt it so hard. 

Izzy: figured it out. Sad.  

Lucius:  That tracks. Sucks though. 

It did suck. Izzy fell asleep about it and felt mostly all right in the morning. The tingle of potential incoming complication didn’t leave right away, but he still had to move through his day. She wasn’t going to call, he reminded himself. No use in getting worked up over a chance meeting. 

He only dimly remembered Pru as part of the amalgam that had been Faith’s terrible family. He pictured her yelling down the stairs as Faith went out the door or tucked in behind her mother like a miniature version of her. Faith would complain about her, the way she stole, rifled through her things, talked incessantly and complained endlessly. 

Izzy had hated Delly like that once. 

Mid-day, he picked up his phone and texted. 

Izzy: If you don’t have plans, I can get the kid tonight for a few hours. Had a change in plans. 

Delly: Really? Yes! That’d be great.  

Izzy hadn’t had any plans at all. But he couldn’t really do much for Delly at fifteen, abandoned to handle their parents alone. This he could do. 

When he picked Pickle up, he asked casually, 

“I can’t remember, were you in the same grade as Prudence Callahan?” 

“Hm?” Delly was moping off Pickle’s face after a close encounter with a very ketchup intensive hamburger.  “Uh...no? I think she was in the grade or two above me. I remember the name. Wait. Wasn’t that your girlfriend’s sister?” 

“Yeah. Ran into her the other day.” 

“That must’ve been fun. Ok, take her purple backpack by the door and you two are good to go. Bye, sweetheart. Don’t wear your uncle out.” 

“Kay!” Pickle wrapped herself around Izzy’s arm. “Bye, Mommy!” 

It was easy to forget his own shit when he had Pickle. She needed his full attention. He dropped her back off, both of them tired, sticky and with far more knowledge of Barbie’s fairy kingdom than they had been at the beginning of the night. 

“Thanks, asshole,” Delly grimaced as Pickle explained exactly how much ice cream she’d eaten. 

“You’re fucking welcome,” he said pleased. Despite herself, Delly looked far more relaxed and in another room, Izzy could hear Thomas whistling. Disgusting. He hid a smile. 

The days passed and each one that ticked by without a call, Izzy let go a little more. What did it matter? They had nothing to say to each other. Lucius did hand him something mid-week. 

“Just in case.”  He’d offered and Izzy had taken it. Couldn’t hurt to have on hand.  

Nearly a full month passed and he’d practically forgotten about the encounter at all, especially when he had to take Read to the E.R. in the middle when she’d stepped in to prevent a beating of the guy they were following. Man just had a stupid mouth, he probably didn’t deserve to get the shit kicked out of him, but Read had gotten a rib busted for her trouble. Izzy lectured her all through the long sit in the waiting room and she’d taken it with an annoying fond smile. 

Asshole kid. 

So it was with some surprise that he opened an email absently on Thursday and read a request to meet for coffee. He agreed and they set a time and a place. 

“Do you want me to come?” Lucius offered. 

“No, it’s okay,” he decided. “Don’t want her to feel ganged up on. I think I spook her as is.” 

“Yeah, bet you scare all the soccer moms, hot stuff.” 

But she’d mentioned her boyfriend’s kid. Possibly she had her own, but when she slid into her seat across from him in her immaculate white knitwear and precise haircut, it seemed unlikely. 

They regarded each other over steaming cups. 

“You’ve done well for yourself,” Pru said eventually. “I saw your website, read some reviews.” 

“We get by,” he agreed. “What about you?” 

“I’m an interior designer. Mostly personal spaces, but I’ve done a few offices.” 

“Huh, what’s that like?” 

Pru seemed relieved to talk about something familiar, so he asked a few questions, letting her ramble a little about her work. When she ran out of steam though, she grimaced. 

“This isn’t what you want to talk about, is it?” 

“It’s fine,” he shrugged. “It’s a lot to face headon.” 

“She’s been dead way longer than she was alive,” Pru said bluntly. “And I think about her a lot, but not name my business and keep her ring around my neck every day a lot. Back then, I didn’t figure you cared much at all really.” 

“What do you mean?” He frowned. 

“I mean you were around a lot, but I figured...” she sighed. “You know. Why does any high school boy stick around a girl?” 

Izzy barked a dry laugh, startled by the bluntness, but welcoming it. “Yeah, no. I’m gay.” 

Pru stared at him then spluttered out a ragged, “What? Did she know?”

“I didn’t know then. She wanted a guy who would protect her and not touch her in ways she didn’t want to be touched and I was good for that,” he said, but the words no longer sat so easily on his tongue. 

Years together. Years that were volatile and strange. He’d watched from a distance and now a little closer as Mary’s kids struggled through high school, the way Alma fell in and out of relationships and Charlie barely seemed old enough to consider them. 

“And we loved each other,” he amended. “A lot. By the end anyway.” 

She nodded slowly. “I can see that. I wish...I don’t know what I would’ve done with that back then, but I still wish I’d known that.” 

“She didn’t trust you,” he said then wished he hadn’t. What was the point all those years later?” 

“I know,” Pru didn’t look hurt. “I tattled on her one too many times. Stole from her. Made fun of her. She gave it back too. She was no saint.” 

“Yeah, she had a mouth on her,” he said and it was hard not to make it sound like praise. 

“Once she told me I was too stupid to tell my feet from my hands. I was nine,” Pru said, her lips twitching like she might smile over it. “I actually worried about that for weeks.” 

“She used to call anyone who cut us off on a bike ‘filthy dickbags’.” 

“Oh my god,” Pru did smile. “You know Dad used to be all over us about swearing. I still can barely say ‘hell’ without wincing. Guess she was braver than me.” 

“Did you get out?” 

“Soon as I turned 18.” 

“Then I’d say just as brave. Braver. If you did it on your own.” 

“I did,” Pru lifted her chin, eyes glinting. And there, just for a second, she did look just like Faith. Izzy had to look away. 

“I uh...you said you didn’t have much of hers?” 

“Just the boots. Ran out in them. Sturdier than my sneakers back then. I still have them, but that’s it really. Mom and Dad when on rampage, tried to act like she’d never even existed.”  

“No pictures?” 

She shook her head. “Never were a big photo family. Mom might’ve had some, but I didn’t even know she’d died until years after it happened. 

Izzy hadn’t been hoping for much, but that tore at him. Nothing at all. Not for the first time, he wished he believed in a higher power so he could thank them for bringing Lucius into his life. 

“My boyfriend is an artist,” he pulled out the envelope. “He found her yearbook picture and drew this. He made a print for you when I told him I’d run into you.” 

“Seriously?” She took the envelope and opened it with a single long nail. They were nicely painted, some kind of white tip situation. It was precise, like the rest of her. Pru was a woman held together by right angles. Izzy could relate. 

“Yeah, I think it’s good, but I’m not really-” 

“Oh my god,” she gasped as she drew out the paper “It’s her. That’s her.” 

He sat back, watched her take it in, pressing her hand to the paper.  “Thank him for me. Please.” 

“I will.” 

“Oh my god,” she said again and closed her eyes. “I half think I made her up sometimes. Is that strange?” 

“No. I know the feeling.” 

“I think I need to go before I start bawling in public,” she said quietly. “But...I’d like to talk again. If that’s okay. Maybe meet your boyfriend so I can say thank you in person.” 

“Any time,” he found himself promising. 

She didn’t take her coffee with her. Izzy bussed it for her, tossing both their half-finished cups away. He decided to walk back home. It was raining every so slightly, the terrible mist of late fall that clung and made everything damp instead of properly wet. 

“Your sister turned out okay,” he mumbled. What was another gray haired guy talking to himself on the street? People could mind their fucking business. “I think you’d like her now. Maybe not. Maybe you’d just tolerate her during the holidays. Would’ve done that with you too.” 

He could imagine it so easily. Faith hadn’t liked parties, neither had he, but they probably would go to Delly’s annual romp anyway or whatever fussy Martha Stewart nightmare Pru might do. Maybe both and after they’d compare notes, trying to outdo each other on who had the most passive-aggressive thing said to them. Faith would win since Delly tended to be more massive-aggressive. 

Or maybe...maybe they would’ve enjoyed both in their own way. Or maybe they wouldn’t have made it there together even if she lived. 

None of it mattered. He couldn’t live his life in what-ifs. What he had was a Lucius, who was getting very thoroughly thanked when he came home tomorrow night and someone else to reminisce with from time to time. That was more than enough. 

[ladycatofwinterfell]

Raindrops, snowflakes, sunshine, part 3

Summary: Catelyn meets a northern boy in her algebra class during one of London’s many rainy days. Initially she doesn’t expect much, but this boy brings her a surprising amount of sunlight.

@leialannister and I discussed Scandinavian Starks and I realized I really wanted to write a fic so that’s what I did. Swedes depicted in media makes this Swede happy, and NedCat also makes me happy so why not combine it and publish him for everyone to see?

Ashara poked her head into the bathroom and squinted against the bright light. Catelyn got eye contact with her through the mirror and raised her eyebrows. Ashara had looked better. She was a beautiful woman, but at the moment she looked like seven hard years.

“Where are you going?”

“Did I say I’m going somewhere?” Catelyn asked.

She was going somewhere, but she hadn’t said a thing about it to Ashara and Cersei. She had planned to tell them about it, she really had, but then she had just never found an opportunity to do it. She had thought that she would be able to get out without them taking too much notice about it. That she thought because the two of them had a hangover from hell.

“You didn’t drink last night and you’re wearing makeup, you’re going somewhere.”

Catelyn turned around to look at her directly instead of through the mirror.

“I’m going out for coffee with Ned” she said.

Ashara smiled tiredly.

“You are?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m happy for you but I also hate you.”

Catelyn turned back to the mirror to examine her look a final time.

“What have I done to deserve that?”

Ashara leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Cersei and I are stuck here, hangover as fuck, but you’re all pretty and have a date with a cute guy.”

Ned had accepted her following request and Ashara and Cersei had deemed him cute based on the pictures he had. Not amazingly good looking, but definitely cute.

Together the two of them had also reached the conclusion that there was no trace of a partner on his social media. He only had pictures with more than two people in them, which made it hard to determine, but after careful consideration they had said that he didn’t seem to have a girlfriend. Which of course didn’t matter to Catelyn, but they had found it very interesting.

“Thanks, but it’s not a date.”

It definitely wasn’t a date, but she was looking good. Her skin was glowing, her hair cooperated. It was a perfect day.

“Then what is it?”

“I’m meeting a person for coffee, that’s what it is.”

Ashara rolled her eyes.

“That really just sounds like a coffee date, KitKat.”

She didn’t know when Cersei’s ridiculous nickname for her had stuck, but it annoyed her that it had. She had long since given up on trying to fight it. KitKat. Sometimes that was just who she was. A chocolate covered wafer bar.

“If you insist on it, fine, it’s a friend date.”

She walked past Ashara and out of the bathroom. The flat was gloomy and the air was heavy with the smell of what Catelyn guessed was lavender, but she wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter what scented candle it was that Ashara had lit, the only thing that mattered was that Catelyn had an intense dislike of it. She was glad for that she had a good reason to get out of there.

“Is he aware of that it’s a friend date?” Ashara questioned as she followed Catelyn to the hallway.

He had to be. She couldn’t imagine him wanting to date her because why would he want that? She hadn’t exactly made a good first impression. Or second impression. She had been given multiple chances and had managed to fuck it up every time.

“Yes. I don’t think he would want to date me anyway.”

“Why?”

Catelyn tried to keep her mind off the social missteps she had made during her conversations with Ned. If she started thinking about that she would die. Well, she wouldn’t die, but she would have some trouble getting herself to their… friend date. And if she actually managed to get there she would have a very hard time looking at him.

“There’s no need to talk about that.”

A sly grin appeared on Ashara’s face.

“No need to talk about it, huh? Why’s that?”

“I’m an idiot, that’s all there is to say.”

“That isn’t like you.”

“My brain abandoned me somewhere in the middle, I don’t know.”

Catelyn really didn’t want to be that person, but she was smart. She was book smart and also did well in social situations. She was simply overall smart. Therefore she would have liked to know what it was about Ned that made her act like she had never spoken to a person before. What about him was so terribly special that she couldn’t use her brain? He wasn’t special, the only thing that made him stand out from the other people in her life was that he was Swedish. And there were literally millions of other Swedes.

“Good luck with your friend date” Ashara said when Catelyn opened the door to leave.

“Have fun here” Catelyn responded.

She was once more very happy for that she was going out instead of staying inside feeling like a corpse all day.

“We’re gonna order pizza, it’ll be great.”

Catelyn didn’t believe Cersei was awake and based on Ashara’s yawn she she guessed she would go back to bed for a little longer as well.

“Save me a slice.”

“Can’t promise anything.”

“Come on.”

“That’s what you get for ditching us for a guy.”

“Is it somehow my fault that you’re hangover?”

“Cat, honey, shut up and let me be a little bit jealous over your date.”

Why was she jealous? She had a girlfriend. And it still wasn’t a date, Ashara knew that. Catelyn would get no boyfriend out of meeting Ned for coffee.

“You have a girlfriend, go on a date with her.”

“I can’t date anyone in this condition.”

“I want dinner no matter your condition.”

Ashara almost pushed her out the door.

“Don’t keep the Swede waiting.”

“Hey, I need–“

The door shut before she had finished her sentence. She supposed it was for dramatic effect, but it wouldn’t really work as Ashara had pushed her out before she could take her bag and phone. So she opened the door and went back inside.

“Did you not get my hint?” Ashara chuckled. “I was telling you to leave.”

Catelyn snatched her bag up from where it stood on the floor just next to the door.

“I appreciate your attempt at recreating a scene from a shitty movie, but I needed my bag.”

“I knew something would ruin it.”

“Want to try again?”

Ashara looked like she actually considered it for a moment, but then she scrunched up her face.

“Nah, it wouldn’t be the same” she said.

“Sorry for ruining it.”

“I hate you now.”

Catelyn descended the stairs, cursing the fact that the lift was still broken. She didn’t even know how long it had been since it broke. Weeks, maybe months. And when it actually worked it worked for five days at a time anyway. Catelyn was a world champion when it came to running in stairs. She was nowhere near patient enough to simply walk down those stairs, that took way too long.

When she had stepped out on the street she heard her phone’s text signal and smoothly fished it out of her bag. It was a message from Ned. She had got his number after they started following each other on Instagram so that they could have more direct contact.

Is it fine if Oden comes?

Her lips curled into a smile, he wanted to bring his dog. That felt like an honor. She didn’t know if it was, but it certainly felt that way. And she was fine with his dog. It was a large dog, she wasn’t a fan of large dogs. But Oden seemed very polite.

Yeah, it’s no problem

Okay, see you soon

See you soon

She put her phone away again and happily walked towards the subway. She had hoped it would be sunny, it was not. Maybe it would have been if she hadn’t thought of it. The weather seemed to work that way. But it wasn’t raining, and according to her weather app it wouldn’t. It was just cloudy. Which was fine. Cloudy was fine. But it made her a little sad because her hair was at its best with some sunlight at it, if she could say so herself.

She arrived there before Ned. The bookshop was closed Sundays so she couldn’t browse for books while waiting. So she looked at her phone for a bit, tried not to stare at people walking past her. She didn’t know where he lived, so she had no idea about from which way he would come.

But before she knew it he was standing in front of her with Oden next to him.

“Hey” he said.

She smiled.

“Hi.”

“I hope Oden isn’t a problem.”

She crouched down slightly and scratched Oden between his ears.

“Not at all. We’re best friends, right, Oden?”

Not that a dog could answer her, but it seemed like he liked her. He wagged his tail. She didn’t speak dog, but she believed that meant he was happy. Or at least he didn’t hate her.

“He trusts you” Ned said.

She had been joking, but she saw no sign of that he was.

“I’m sorry, I’m bad with dogs, how can you tell that?”

“Oh that’s not about dogs overall, it’s just Oden. He usually doesn’t let people touch his head. His brothers and sisters were a bit mean to him, and they would chew on his ears so he’s sensitive in that area.”

Catelyn previously hadn’t believed that she would ever reach the point in her life where a dog trusted her. She didn’t like dogs, and dogs didn’t like her. It had been that way for as long as she could remember. And still she stood there with a dog who according to his owner trusted her.

“I really do not deserve that” she said dismissively. “At all.”

Ned looked at her for a moment before answering. She looked back into his eyes. Grey. They were grey. And she was certain of that she wouldn’t forget it that time around. Even more so she hoped they wouldn’t go so long without seeing each other that she had time to forget again. But she wouldn’t let that happen.

“I think you do.”

Maybe she was blushing. She had no idea. All she knew was that he was very sweet and that she liked that about him.

“Thank you.”

She had probably held eye contact with him for longer than appropriate but he didn’t seem to mind. When she snapped out of it and averted her eyes, turning her gaze to the street instead.

“Where do you want to go?” she asked.

Ned sighed.

“I’m going to confess something” he then said. “I don’t know a lot about coffee, where I come from we drink it plain and black. So you pick wherever you like.”

Interesting that he had asked her out for coffee then. Maybe that was simply the first thing that had come to his mind when he asked her.

“Okay. Well, this isn’t my part of the city, I’m rarely here, but if we walk around the area I’m sure we’ll find something good.”

She was only there when she was at the bookshop. She had no other reason to be there, she only knew they had a good bookshop there.

“Sounds good.”

They started walking down the street with Oden ahead of them.

“Don’t you have coffee shops in Sweden?” Catelyn said.

It seemed so much like an exaggerated stereotype that she couldn’t really believe it. Sweden wasn’t all winter and woods, was it? They had cities and in cities there were coffee shops. Or so she believed. Maybe Sweden was a stranger country than she had initially thought.

“We have in the cities, but my family is from the country side so I didn’t have easy access to them. I learned to drink my coffee black. In the wrong company you could get shamed for drinking it with a little bit of milk.”

“Really?”

“Proper people drink their coffee black” Ned said in a heavy Swedish accent.

Catelyn couldn’t keep herself from laughing and he smiled.

“I drink my coffee black too sometimes” she said. “But that’s mostly when I’m too tired to put anything in it because I’m studying.”

“Everyday I thank myself for quitting math.”

“I get you, sometimes it’s all pain, but I like it.”

“I’m a bit jealous, I wish I was good at it.”

She was somewhat flattered by that. So he wanted something that she had too, she wasn’t the only one who was a bit jealous of the others talents? Maybe she was a bad person for feeling that. She didn’t really care.

“Do you?”

“I have always admired academic people, but I’m definitely not one of them. My brain’s not wired that way.”

“That’s funny, because I thought the same thing about you when you said that you draw” she confessed. “I wish I was good at that.”

Ned didn’t answer, so she looked at him to see if something had happened. He didn’t look back at her, seemingly deep in thought. Which confused her. Had what she said really been that thought inducing? She didn’t believe so. They stopped at a red light, waiting for the light to turn green so that they could cross the street. The moment she wasn’t walking she realized her hands were getting quite cold. She should have brought gloves, she realized as she stuck them in her pockets.

“I could teach you, if you’d like” he offered.

By then she had almost forgotten that she was talking to someone.

“What?”

“I could teach you, if you’d like” he repeated. “I’m not amazing, and I don’t know how good I am at teaching, but I can try.”

Catelyn wasn’t a person who lost her tongue. She could always talk, even in situations where she got nervous or embarrassed. She always had her words. That wasn’t always something she considered positive, but it was true. Though she believed that what she felt then was the closest thing to speechlessness she would ever come.

They had only met a few times, that was the first time they had actually agreed to meet up. They didn’t know each other too well, they were only acquainted with each other. And still Ned offered to teach her. Still he offered to help her learn something she had wanted to learn for many years.

“Would you do that?” she asked, feeling herself smile.

“If you want to, sure” he responded, shrugging as if it was no big deal.

“I have nothing to give you in return, but thank you. I would love to do that.”

“You don’t need to give me anything in return, it’s just a fun thing.”

It could definitely be a fun thing.

The light turned green and together with the other people who had gathered at the crossing they hurried across the street with Oden leading the way.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

“What? No, I’m not cold at all” she lied.

There was no need to fuss about that. She was just too stupid to dress for the weather. Maybe she should have learned to after having been alive for quite some time, but she never seemed to do so. Her father would have shook his head if he could have seen her, he had always stooped her in the door and given her a hat and a pair of gloves.

“Are you sure? Because it really seems like it.”

She should have taken a scarf and a pair of gloves, she could definitely admit to that, but it was a little too late to think of it then.

“What makes you think I’m cold?”

“The fact that your shoulders are up at your ears and your hands are very deep down in your pockets.”

“Okay, I’m a little cold, but it’s nothing.”

If she hadn’t known herself as well as she did she would have looked in her bag to see if she by any chance had a pair of gloves in it. But she did know herself, and was therefore aware of that she would never put gloves in her bag. Looking was therefore unnecessary.

To her great horror he first handed her Oden’s leash, and then took of his own gloves off before offering them to her.

“Ned, there’s no need for that, you really don’t have to” she protested. “You shouldn’t have to be cold because I’m bad at wearing enough clothes.”

Ned didn’t listen to that. He merely took Oden’s leash back and instead gave her the gloves. When he did so his hand touched hers and she felt how warm it was. It could just have been the contrast to her frozen hand, but it felt like he was very warm. They would have made a good match if they were dating in that sense.

“God, your hands are warm” she said.

“I know, that’s why you need the gloves a lot more than I do” he said. “Put them on.”

The need to get her hands warmed up came out victorious in the fight against the want to keep protesting. And she was actually very grateful for the gloves when she put them on and felt an instant relief. They were way too large, but they were a lot better than nothing.

“Thank you, this is very kind of you, but never leave your dog in my hands again. He’s a nice dog, I like him, but I draw the line there.”

“Okay, thank you for letting me know.”

“I’m usually not this bad at planning” she then said, feeling that she had to defend some of what little dignity she had left.

“Just like you’re usually not late?” he quipped, obviously amused by her words.

So he remembered that, did he? That hadn’t been a lie, she was always on time. But the latter was a truth with modifications. She was a good planner, but not when it came to dressing for the weather.

“Yes, like that. I don’t know what has gotten into me lately.”

“I hear that’s what London does to you if you stay here for too long.”

“I think it’s Britain overall, it’s been too long since I was home.”

How long had it been since she visited home? It must have been in the beginning of the summer and at the moment it was the middle of autumn.

“Where are you from?” he asked. “More specifically.”

“Galway. Where are you from?”

“I doubt you would know it, most Swedes don’t know it. It’s a small town. And we didn’t even live in that small place, we lived a bit away from it.”

He was right, she knew exactly two Swedish cities. The two largest ones. And he said he was from a small place earlier so she had known it wasn’t one of those, but it had seemed polite to ask.

“I know Stockholm and Gothenburg, which one is it closest to?”

“Good question, uhm… Gothenburg, I think. But it’s about the same distance to both of them. It’s close to the Norwegian border, not too far from Sweden’s largest lake.”

Just then she realized that she knew absolutely nothing about Swedish geography. She had no idea about the name of the largest lake or where in the country it was. And knowing it was close to the Norwegian border didn’t exactly help, Sweden did have a long border towards Norway. That she knew.

“I’m completely lost” she admitted. “You’ll have to show me on a map.”

Ned laughed.

“Absolutely, but then you’ll have to show me Galway on a map. I have no idea about where that is” he said.

“Don’t you know Galway? There’s eighty thousand people living there.”

“I have heard of Galway, I just don’t know where it is!” he said defensively.

“Okay, small town boy” she chuckled.

He pulled a face at her, making her laugh even more.

“I know I’m not the most academic person, but you’re being unfair, big city girl.”

Catelyn smiled.

“Small town isn’t negative. I like small towns. They have an atmosphere and a feeling that cities don’t have.”

She thought of her grandparents’ house in the country side. She had been there all the time when she was a child, sometimes she had thought it was better there than in the city. Wherever Ned was from was probably lovely.

“Small towns are very different from London” he said. “My siblings dreamed of leaving, but I liked it there. It was calm, not much happened. A good place to make art.”

“You said your older brother lives here, right?”

“Yes. My brother Brandon lives here. I have two younger siblings, as well. A sister, Lyanna, and a brother, Benjen. They’re back in Sweden with my parents. Do you have siblings?”

“I have a younger sister, Lysa, and a little brother, Edmure. He’s twelve, he thinks I’m a total nerd for studying math. He thinks I should get a cool degree instead, like criminology. He still calls a lot and wants to come here to visit though.”

“Despite that you’re a nerd?” Ned chuckled.

“Yeah, despite that I’m a nerd. Apparently I’m still likable and a pretty okay older sister.”

“You’re likable. Och vacker.”

The first thing she understood perfectly, but those last two words she didn’t know. That was Swedish. Why had he started speaking Swedish suddenly? And what did it mean?

“Thank you, but I’m sorry, I don’t know what that second thing means” she said.

Ned gave her a look. She didn’t know what that meant either. There were many things about him that she didn’t know or understand.

“It was nothing” he said.

“No, that wasn’t nothing. If it was nothing you would have told me what it meant” she said, nudging him in the side. “Come on, tell me!”

“No.”

“You’ve made me cur–“

“This might be a good place, don’t you think?”

Catelyn shut her mouth and looked up to see that he was right, that was a coffee shop. She wasn’t sure of exactly where they were, she didn’t recognize it so she had probably never been there before. But they had coffee and that was the only criteria she had.

“You wait here with Oden, I can go inside and order” she said. “What do you want?”

“You already know what I want.”

“Are you sure you don’t want something more fun?”

“Proper people drink their coffee black, big city girl” he reminded her.

She laughed and then took off the gloves, handing them to him.

“Thanks for letting me borrow them, I’ll be back out in a few minutes.”

She opened the door and was met by a wave of heat. It was quite crowded, seemed like everyone had decided to get coffee at the same time. She placed herself at the end of the long line and then took her phone out of her bag, immediately taking up a translator. And then found that she couldn’t remember what that word was that he had said. Or those words. She was pretty sure of that there had been two words, but she couldn’t for her life remember what they were. And it annoyed her. It was annoying that he refused to tell her. Had it been something really insulting? But why would he say something insulting, she didn’t believe she had done anything to deserve that.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee was one she had mixed feelings for. She had worked in a coffee shop for almost a year, and had quit just before starting to take classes that autumn as her working schedule didn’t work out with the classes, and she wasn’t allowed to change it. Coffee was a good scent, but some of her worst interactions with other people had also happened in that environment. She had to get a new job though, she was starting to run low on money.

When it came down to it she got him a latte because she couldn’t bring herself to order black coffee. It was too boring, she had to teach him to drink other kinds of coffee as well.

“What do I owe you?” he asked when she came back outside.

“Nothing, it’s on me this time. And you didn’t get black coffee” she informed him.

“I knew it. Is it a latte?”

“It is a latte.”

“I’ll accept it.”

“You sure you won’t get all soft from the steamed milk?” Catelyn said teasingly.

He took a sip from his mug.

“If I don’t survive the winter it’s your fault.”

“I’ll be sure to let your family know that.”

“Thank you, I’m sure it will bring them much comfort as they’re grieving me.”

“Most definitely.”

“Do you want the gloves?” Ned asked when they started walking again.

She didn’t know where they were going, and she supposed he didn’t either. Just walking could be nice too.

“No, I’m good. I have the warm mug now, and besides they’re your gloves, you should have them.”

“I’ll bring an extra pair next time.”

He wanted to see her more times. Things couldn’t be going bad then, could they? He liked her as well as she liked him.

“Or maybe we’ll see each other indoors” she suggested.

“That works too.”

They crossed a street once more and came out to a park. Why had she never been in that park before? It was a nice park and it was probably even better in summer. She would have to remember that. Maybe she could go there with Ned again. Or she could take Ashara and Cersei there. They went to parks all the time in the summer.

“What do you do in your spare time?” Ned asked.

“If you’re fishing for hobbies now I won’t be able to give you anything. When I don’t study I read, and spend time with my flat mates, occasionally I go to a pub or meet up with other friends. Well, I bake a lot, does that count as a hobby?”

She was actually a quite good baker, but when she thought of it she lived a very boring life. She didn’t consider it boring, she liked it as it was, but it wasn’t anything spectacular. There wasn’t much variation.

“Why wouldn’t it count as a hobby?”

“I don’t–“

Suddenly he almost fell to the side and therefore right into her. Warm coffee splashed over both of them as she stumbled over her own feet. She would have fallen over if he had not quickly dropped her mug in order to grab her arm and hold her upright.

At first she didn’t understand what had happened or why he had lost his feet, but then she realized that it was Oden that had suddenly pulled at his leash.

“För i helvete, Oden!” Ned exclaimed before turning to her. “I’m so sorry, he must have seen a squirrel or something.”

She looked at him, coffee all over his chest area, then looked down at herself. She had equally as much coffee, if not more, all over her. Had she not worn her coat it probably would have burned her.

Catelyn closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again.

“It’s fine, it wasn’t intentional. And no major harm was done.”

She hoped the stains would go away in the washing machine. Otherwise she wouldn’t be that happy, but she still couldn’t be angry at anyone. Neither Ned nor Oden had done it on purpose. And it wasn’t like he didn’t also have coffee all over him.

“Jag visste att jag inte skulle ha tagit med dig” Ned muttered to Oden. “Varför kan du inte bete dig när det behövs?”

The dog stood before them, looking at them with puppy eyes. Seemingly wondering why they had just stopped the walk. When Catelyn met his eyes he tilted his head, wagging his tail.

“And that means?”

“He’s not like this usually, I have no idea about what has gotten into him” he said apologetically.

She believed he had chosen to ignore her question and that wasn’t the translation for what he had said, but she couldn’t be sure about that as she didn’t know a single Swedish word.

“It’s okay, really. Accidents happen.”

He was still holding her arm, and they were standing quite close to each other. There was still some distance between them, but it was far less than when they had been walking. She was blushing, she could feel her cheeks burn. Why did she have to blush, why was that her first reaction to everything?

He noticed just seconds after she did and let go of her arm, then he backed away a step, avoiding her eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay for the coffee?” he asked, sounding deeply troubled about it all.

“I’m sure. Next time coffee’s on you, it’ll even out.”

Ned sighed.

“I really feel like I should in some way compensate you for this.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

It felt somewhat ridiculous to stand there and talk about whether or not he should pay her for the coffee while both of them were dripping with it.

She would have laughed if she hadn’t wanted to disappear into the ground, never to appear again. Both because of the ridiculousness of the situation and because it was so far from how it had played out in her head when she had thought about it beforehand. Nowhere in her imaginations had she come up with a scenario where they stood in a park together with his dog, both of them having coffee all over themselves. She should have expected it though. Of course she couldn’t see him one time without something happening.

“Look, I understand if you don’t want to see me again–” he started.

“Why wouldn’t I want to see you again?”

His expression changed from a very anxious one to one that indicated that he believed that she had completely lost it.

“Because I poured almost all of my coffee on you?”

“I poured coffee all over you too, this goes two ways. Oh God, we look ridiculous.”

She could always take some comfort in that they were looking ridiculous together.

“I know, I can see you clearly” he responded dryly.

As if he didn’t look just as stupid as she did. 

"Take a good look then, small town boy. I've never looked better."

She had probably never looked worse. At least when it came to her clothes. It was a good outfit, but the stains didn't really go with it.

"Det är ingen dålig syn."

The whole Swedish thing was fun, she liked hearing him speak his first language, but she was also already tired of not always understanding what he was saying. Communicating in Swedish didn't really work though because she didn't know a word in that language, otherwise she wouldn't have minded at all.

"I'm sorry, Swedish is a fine language, but I don't understand and this time you'll have to translate for me."

"That feels deeply unnecessary."

There was something about the look he had after he had said it that made her even more curious. Like a child who was pretending he wasn't guilty of something he had obviously done and was having a hard time keeping the mask up. What was he saying to her? And why did he refuse to translate it?

"Well, this has been very nice, but I suppose we'll have to continue some other time, because we're both in need of a change of clothes" she said.

She crouched down and picked up the mugs they had dropped. Then she walked over to a nearby trash can and tossed them in it.

"Once again, I'm very sorry” he said.

"There's not much to do about it, so no need to feel sorry."

They began making their way back towards where they had met up, trying very hard to pretend they were not covered in coffee. They actually managed to pass by fairly unnoticed, Catelyn only saw one person give them a look as they walked past. And that wasn't strange, she had seen so much weirder things than two people who had clearly had a little accident while living in London. Maybe it even passed as some sort of fashion statement. When it had just happened it hadn't felt like it, but it could have been worse. A lot worse. She still wanted to disappear from the face of earth when she thought about it, but at the same time she knew that it was definitely a thing she could get over. It had been an accident, it wasn't something she had done or said. That was always an improvement from the times they had met in the bookshop.

"Except for the mess I had a pretty good time" she smiled when they arrived at where they would walk different ways.

"We'll have to do it again without that part" he agreed.

"Indoors" she added.

"I'll bring extra gloves in the future, just in case we need to go somewhere."

She snorted, wondering if he really was that much of an outdoor person.

"That works too."

They fell quiet after that, unsure of what to do. What was appropriate? Could she hug him? That was what seemed most reasonable to her as a handshake was way too formal but she still needed to say goodbye in some way. Hugging also felt most natural to her. Though she couldn't be sure of that he was a hugger. She had never been more thankful for her phone ringing. Maybe a few times, but she was happy to hear her ringtone in that moment. She didn't have to answer it, but it gave her a little more time to figure out what to do.

"I should probably check who it is, I'm sorry" she said apologetically.

She wished she could have just taken up her phone, but it had somehow disappeared underneath everything else she had in the bag. Old receipts, two pairs of sunglasses, a charger, her wallet, a box with a broken bracelet that she had intended to get fixed, some pads. And that was only some of it. How had her phone managed to get down under all that? And when had she put all that crap in the bag? When she finally managed to find it she saw Edmure's name and picture on the screen, and she answered the call with a small smile on her face.

"Uncle wants to know if you're coming home for Christmas" her brother's little voice informed her before she had time to answer.

"Hello to you too, Ed" she chuckled.

"Are you coming home for Christmas?"

It was more than a month and a half until Christmas, why did Uncle Brynden want to know that already? And why wasn't he calling her instead of making Edmure do it? They had regular contact, why hadn't he asked her when they talked the day before?

"I am, but why does he want to know that now?"

"He said why, but I forgot to listen, I just know he told me to ask you that."

She had to keep herself from laughing again by biting down on her tongue. It didn't get easier when she locked eyes with Ned who proceeded to wave back at her despite that they were a meter away from each other.

"Okay."

She would have to call him later and see what it was about.

"What are you doing?" Edmure continued, quickly moving past Christmas.

"I'm out with a friend."

"Is it Ashara or Cersei? Or one of your other friends?"

"His name is Ned, you haven't met him."

There was a short pause from Edmure's side.

"Can I say hello to him?" he then asked.

She could imagine him in his room back in Galway. Sitting at his desk in front of the window of the room, picking at the flaking blue paint on his chair, his eyes narrowed with suspicion. He was always like that when she told him about new people.

"Do you want to say hello to my brother?" she said to Ned.

He shrugged.

"Sure, why not?"

She put Edmure on speaker and then held up the phone.

"Alright, you can say hello now, Ed."

"Hello, Ned."

Ned leaned forward slightly to answer.

"Hello, Edmure."

"Are you and my sister actually friends or are you her boyfriend?"

Ned raised his eyebrows in surprise and she felt the moment she stopped breathing, her eyes going wide.

"Pardon?"

"And that's enough!" Catelyn interrupted, quickly taking Edmure off speaker and putting the phone to her ear again. "Say hello to everyone back home and tell them I love them, bye!"

"But–"

She pressed the button to end the call. There was the reason for why not. She should have seen that one coming, she should have known. She could have spared them both the humiliation if she had just thought it through a second time. Edmure didn't have many boundaries, she had hoped that would grow away when he got older, but it never did. Though he still had some years left before he was a lost case, he was only twelve, after all.

"I had no idea that was going to happen, please forgive me" she said in a low voice as she put her phone back in her bag.

If she looked at him she wouldn't be able to see him again. She would have to delete his contact in her phone and erase every proof of that they had ever met.

"My older brother and my sister are exactly like that, I get you."

She had a feeling of that he wasn't looking at her either, but rather up at the sky.

"There's always some comfort in not being alone, I guess."

"There is."

She took a deep breath and then went in for a quick hug. Based on the way his whole body tensed at first she thought it had been a miscalculation from her side, but then he laid his free arm arm over her back and hugged her back. They were only in contact for a few seconds, but during that short time she once more got to feel how warm he was. His future girlfriend would be lucky to have him in the winter, it was nice. He was nice, all of him.

"We'll have to see each other again" she said when they parted.

"Definitely. Will I hear from you in the near future?"

Catelyn scratched Oden behind one ear. He had patiently been standing still and waiting while they had been standing there and talking. Why weren't all dogs like him? She would have liked them a lot better if they were

"You’ll hear from me as soon as I know when I can. Take care."

"You too."

She threw a glance over her shoulder when they walked separate ways. She did so every few seconds until Ned and Oden had disappeared behind a corner and she could no longer see them. She sighed, that sure had been a lot. They had done quite well, she would like to lay the blame with Oden and Edmure for that it had gone as it did. In the future she wouldn't answer any calls from Edmure while she was around people, it was better that way. Much better. When was back home and had climbed up all the stairs to the sixth floor she was met by ABBA. She hadn't even opened the door yet, but she could clearly hear "Dancing Queen". They were probably watching Mamma Mia!, Ashara loved that movie. Catelyn was almost positive she herself had seen the movie half a hundred times just because Ashara put it one at least once a week.

"What the hell did you do in order to look even more like crap than we do?" Cersei asked when she caught sight of her. "Really, what happened to you, KitKat?"

She felt like she was doing a walk of shame. Except for that she hadn't had sex with anyone, she had just spilled coffee all over herself and the person she had been meeting with. She needed fresh clothes. And dinner, she was starving.

"I don't want to talk about it right now, I need a while to process the whole thing."

"Sounds like a successful date" Ashara hummed to the tune of the chorus of the song.

"It was eventful, if nothing else.”

"There's pizza for you in the fridge, if that makes anything better."

Catelyn stopped to look at her, almost believing that she would start crying over some pizza.

"Really?"

"Yeah, go wild."

"I love you, I'll join you in a minute, I just need to change my clothes."

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 5

As usual I'm going to put all my reactions and live-blogging in this one post to avoid spamming.

1962, Cape Canaveral

So Pogo is from Congo?

Wait, is that Grace? is Grace some sort of biologist or scientist?

Is Pogo supposed to be one of the chimps for the space program?

I love this song. Oh look, there's Reggie!

Oh, that nod between Reggie and Grace... What are they up to?

Yep, definitely the space program.

Little astronaut Pogo... Wait, what's happening?

Who's the shady guy in the sunglasses behind Reggie?

Aww, poor Pogo...

SO THAT'S WHERE THE SERUM USED ON LUTHER CAME FROM! I figured but it's still interesting to see the origin.

Oh, there's the ancient Greek! Did Reggie read to the kids like this too? I doubt it but one can hope.

So Reggie and Grace basically treated Pogo like their child... And Reggie was actually a decent parent... ? Dude, you couldn't do that for your actual kids?!

Wait, does this make Pogo the seven's big brother? 😆

And there's the Magnificent 12. Oh, Pogo's drawing is so cute.

Five really is onto Lila... and he's right!

Diego onto Lila as well!

Hungover Klaus 😅 and Ben asking what we all want to know but it comes from a place of love and concern. Still sassy though.

Why won't Klaus just tell Allison that he is talking to Ben? Also, cowboy? Is that a comic reference? Or just a Texas reference?

Oh, I love Ben and Klaus banter. XD

Klaus does have a point, Allison.

*Allison throws the flask away* Ben: "attagirl!" Allison: "i have a blender and some much better booze" *cue Ben sulking*

"I love you so much!" Awwww, Klaus-Allison bonding! ❤️❤️❤️ this show is really giving me everything I want, huh?

Sissy and Vanya in bed together 👀😏 that's hot.

So she brought her coffee and then took the coffee away? XD

Is Vanya offering to take Sissy to the future? 👀

Oh no, Carl!

They have a point, Five. Everything starts taking apart at soon as you arrive. Repeatedly. I actually pointed this out yesterday.

You're burning the eggs, Luther.

"That boy stinks" poor Luther 🤣

Where exactly was Luther going? Chicago? Detroit?

Wait, is that the academy pre-academy? Wait, so it's not in Texas??? Then what about Argyle? What the hell? I'm so confused now. 😵

Luther, you need a bath.

Reggie in a party xD that must be an odd sight for Luther.

"The world's never going to end in such a cliché. Believe me. I know how endings feel" -what does it mean???? Does it mean he knows how the world ends? Or does it mean politically as a member of the 12? Is it a double entendre? Foreshadowing? Does he have some sort of prescient power?

Still want to know who the shady guy in the shades is.

"No, you're not" "no, you're not" "no, i didn't" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

"I have a deep dislike of children" -yeah, we been knew. 😒😒😒

"your grotesque simian proportions"??? Those are entirely your fault, Reginald! 😠

"But...i took a bus" - oh, honey... Luther, you adorable, naive, sweet, innocent, awkward little dork... Let me hug you, i don't care if you stink! 😢

Man, Reginald is still such an asshole. (I'm glad for that though, I was afraid this season would try to play the 'he wasn't really so bad, just misunderstood' card and that would piss me off, you can show him actually caring for the children but no excusing goddamn child abusers in this house!)

"At least he didn't shank my ass" "no, bro, he shanked your heart" -awww, dudebro affection. Diego does have a sensitive side!

I didn't realize i needed Luther-Diego bonding this badly but i do. I really, really, really do.

"It's time to get the umbrella academy back together." "hell yeah, family meeting." -since when is Diego so happy to get the family together? 😆

But hell yeah, let's get the family back together!!!

"you two still a thing? Do we need to talk?" (Diego's face though 🤣) "no, she's married." "Whoa, dude. That's rough."

Diego is the new Zuko, it all lines up!

"I can handle it" he nervous chuckles while stress eating in a stolen robe, after ruining his own life and getting in trouble with the mob and getting high.

"can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?" - ouch 🤣

I'm loving the boys bonding.

Yikes, Sissy looks so uncomfortable with Carl...

"Harlan doesn't care" -oh, he does, he reeeeally does, you just can't read the signs, you clueless dumbass.

Oh, the powers... Oh, Harlan initiating touch with Vanya! Boy is more perceptive than they think.

Why does Sissy look so scared?

Sissy's reactions to Carl have been suspicious from the start. She's given a lot of red flags (the anxiety, the body language, the hoarding money in secret, the reluctance to speak up, the desperation to keep Vanya near her at all times, etc) and I've wondered if he's been abusive but he seems more pathetic than purposely malicious, he even showed vulnerability and admited to loving her and fearing that she doesn't feel the same, so I was starting to think Sissy's fear and paranoia had more to do with a fear of Carl leaving her (and thus taking away the only income and leaving her and Harlan with nothing).

However, I'm rethinking things and I'm starting to suspect abuse again (at least psychological, if not physical)... I think the only reason we don't see it yet is because Vanya is there and Carl won't act out on front of a witness.

I could totally be wrong though, I could be seeing signs that aren't there because of my own issues. We'll see.

Is... Is Handler actually a good mother?

Nevermind, she's gaslighting.

But she cares enough to give first aid and admit she lied so... Definitely a better parent than Reginald at least. I actually want her to be a decent parent, I'm tired of the narrative where villains all have to be abusive parents, villains can love too and that makes the story so much more complex and dramatic when people finally have to choose sides.

Felt, Diego's knife... what is she up to?

Sandpaper, steel wool, round metal parts, skewers, spray lubricant, and something cylindrical with the name of a plumbing service? Is she making pneumatic canisters? The ones the Commission uses to send messages?

Also, what's with Commission training and using plumber stuff? Five also used a plumbing company's van in season 1.

Elliot really likes Jell-O, huh? Very 50s housewife of him.

"how are feeling?" "Pretty shitty, to be honest" "Where would you say you are on a scale from one to ending all life on this planet?" 🤣🤣🤣 They are never going to let her live this down, are they?

I need more Vanya-Diego bonding. ❤️

Diego accepted Vanya's apology???😲 AWWWWWWWW 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Diego about to ask girl advice from his sister? So cute, why did they interrupt, I wanted to see that! 🥰

I miss Diego's nervous stutter though.

"you don't speak French" -doesn't he? If Allison can read seven languages, logically so can all the others, right? And Klaus is constantly using French and German, how are you telling me he doesn't know French? 😆

"did we all get sexier?" -pretty much and you're not done yet.

Aww, awkward Vanya-Allison hug... Let them bond! 💖💖💖

Klaus and Diego hugging!!! And Diego calling him out on being drunk like the overprotective brother he is 💖💖💖

Klaus hugging the girls! 💖💖💖

So much love. So much growth since all the bitterness from season 1. I NEED MORE OF THIS, DAMN IT!

Who knew it took Vanya snapping and killing everyone for this family to finally bond?

OH COME ON, KLAUS! Just tell them poor Ben is there, that's so mean.

Ah! Allison and Diego with pure sibling banter. 💖

What is with the Handler family and red shoes?

Handler's style changed a bit, went from retro femme fatale on s1 to matronly debutante in s2... Interesting.

Don't hurt the kitty, you bitch! 😡

The Swedes have become crazy cat people. I'm starting to love these weirdos.

Is that their mama?

Pneumatic tube! CALLED IT!

Ah, I see. That's why she wanted Diego's knife. The Swedes are getting set up.

"oh my God, again?" ... "all of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the-- oh, my God. My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five, I told them we had until 2019!" -that's why you're the last one, Klaus, your priorities.

"is it Vanya?" "Klaus!" "What? It's usually Vanya." - one time. you end the world ONE TIME and nobody ever let's you live it down.

"find dad" "kill dad" -well, Diego learned from Five *shrugs*

"has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?" -literally everyone except you, Vanya.

( well, unless saving Harlan with your magic lights messed up the timeline...)

Yup, here they go calling each other out. Hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

"THANK you" - I love Ben 💙

Diego, you idiot, saving Kennedy is what wrecks everything! Stop being stubborn.

Aww, traumatized Five... Please just listen to him, he just wants to save you all because he loves you 😢

Five deserves more love from the family. PLEASE.

Wow, Luther is reeeeally bitter about daddy, huh? What is Lila doing?

"I've missed you all... So much" BEN! 😭😭😭😭😭

Ok, now I'm crying.

Klaus, let your brother talk to the rest of the damn family, he misses them! 😭😭😭😭

Yay, more Luther-Diego bonding!

"since the last time I destroyed the world by overestimating my own importance" -I'm so glad he owns up to this, it's very important but he needs to get over his self-hate and gain some confidence again.

Diego, stop acting like you don't have daddy issues, you are riddled with them.

Diego's hero complex again... Which comes from the daddy issues. Luther is right.

"you are so goddamn big that sometimes I forget what a sensitive bastard you are." 🤣🤣🤣 He's absolutely right!

Brotherly bonding ftw!

Oh, they got daddy's attention!

AHAHAH! Allison bitching and rambling while doing Klaus's hair, Vanya miming shooting the bottles ("pew pew" 🤣). I'm sorry but this whole scene is adorable as fuck.

Girl's day!

"wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot?" 🤣🤣🤣 Klaus asking the real important questions here!

Vanya confused by the Luther/Allison crush 🤣 "aren't we all related?"' -yes, honey, that's why it's weird.

"if you have to use the word 'technically' you're already in trouble" -THANK YOU, KLAUS!

Klaus's ENTIRE speech about their love lives is the most perfect thing EVER 🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌💯💯💯

Really alarmed Vanya finding out she dated a serial killer: "what?!" / Allison, whispering casually: "Later." 🤣

"the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin." 😂😂😂😂😂 The best part is- HE'S NOT WRONG

Vanya's weirded out face is priceless 👌👌👌

"the only thing the umbrella academy knows about love is how to screw it up" "cheers!" 💯👏👏👏

These babies really need a hug. Let me hug them!

"how do you guys deal with this?" -look at them Vanya, they day drink.

"well, I get reeeeally high, Allison... Allison... Lies to herself. And you supress all your emotions deep, deep down until you... Blow shit up." -Klaus really is serving up all the wisdom in this little outing, isn't he? Maybe being a cult leader actually did him some good? Or maybe it's just that his family is FINALLY listening to him.

"yeah, I'd really like to not do that anymore" 😂 -ah! Is Vanya graduating out of the awkward dork sibling category and into the sassy queen one?

Omg, the drunk decisions...

"I just hate group backups, that's why I stopped dating twins" 😆😆😆😆

"this family is amazing" - DAMN RIGHT, VANYA! ❤️🧡💛💚💚💙💜

Awww, the HUG! The DANCING! MY BABIES! Fav scene, fav scene!

I want to adopt this family so bad.

And here's the Swedes being set up...

There goes baby Swede! I kinda feel bad for them.

Uh oh, now they want revenge of poor Diego.

Gotta hand it to Handler, she played this one very well. Parallels Five tricking Hazel and Cha-Cha into fighting each other in season 1. Very cool.

BAD GUY! I like this version better than the original, great song and fits Lila perfectly.

Holy shit!!!!!!!!! We all knew Five had moves but THESE MOVES!!!!!! 😲

How did Lila do that? Is it with Handler's time stopping thing? I always wondered how she did that too.

Holy shiiiiiiiiit. This whole fight was FANTASTIC! 😲

Oh Vanya... 😢

Oh Sissy... 😩

Sissy has been so desperate to keep Vanya tied to her but the moment Vanya asks her to make the slightest sacrifice for their relationship Sissy balks and pulls away... Not a balanced relationship at all.

I understand Sissy's fear, it's not selfishness, it's literal fear of change, but it's still sad and it's going to wreck them.

Oh, so this is where the swedish cover of "Hello" comes in... Very fitting.

Viking funeral, huh?

Ok, I never thought I'd have feels for the Swedes but I do. 😢

Luther eating AGAIN. But hey, he and Diego didn't the whole day together! Why can't we see that too? I need more brother time between these two.

Oh Klaus, is so uncomfortable but he can't stand disappointing the cultists, can he?

Still shocks me how all those people just invaded his house while he was away and thought that was perfectly acceptable and cool, it shows they really don't respect him as a person, he's just an object to make them feel better and give them purpose... It's terrifying and really sad when you think about it.

"sit your ass down." -you go, Allison! Tell him everything!

This episode gave me SO MANY FEELINGS! It might read like (extremely good) fanfiction but it's exactly what we all needed and it might be my favorite episode so far.

[nomorelonelydays]

Nicky/Ovi ficlet based on this

Nicklas Backstrom is the region’s go-to patissier for all your wedding cake needs, but only if you know where to look. Their little Swedish bakery café is nestled in a very suburban-y, non-bougie part of town, but Nicky isn’t short of celebrities sneaking into his shop for consultations (because Nicky did that now—wedding cake consultations, it’s a nightmare). They’re elegant, delicate, just on the right side of not too sweet, unique, and most of all, they’re coveted. Which also meant that Nicky’s time is very expensive. He used to like making wedding cakes, he really did, but a man can only stand to make so many wedding cakes before he starts to get bitter about the dating space and how it feels like everyone in the universe is getting married and popping out babies (no gender reveal cakes; Nicky refuses, especially after this elderly Southern grandmother requested a cake must incorporate the imagery of a fondant-made gun— “Guns or Glitter? I just kept thinking about it in the car,” she’d said proudly, like the idea had come to her in a dream. “Wouldn’t that be so adorable?” “No,” Nicky had said. “It’s tacky and strange. Please leave my shop or order something else.”) when Nicky is frosting cake after cake after endless cake.

“Maybe it’s your attitude, you ever think about that?” Patric Hornqvist—who insists that he goes by ‘Horny,’ even when Nicky tells him that it’s freaking out customers—says. “And the brows. Angry all the time. Like you want to shove someone’s remains into a cake. It’s just your entire face, really.”

“This is my normal face,” Nicky says. “Can’t you go bother Carl?”

“Hags is at a hockey game with his boyfriend,” Horny singsongs. “The Canadian.”

“Isn’t Phil American?”

“I don’t know,” Horny says thoughtfully.

The Caps are playing the Pens today, Nicky knows, because Carl begged him to take over his evening shift so he can surprise his boyfriend with hockey tickets—they’re both die-hard Pens fans, while Nicky just shrugged like he didn’t care either way. He’s fonder of Ovechkin, but it’s a dangerous thing for a man to say that in Pittsburgh. Whatever.

To spite Carl, because he’s left him alone with Horny for nearly the entire day (Carl literally always takes Horny out on his dates—Horny loves third-wheeling for them), he tweets at him during his break, over a cup of coffee. Nicky @ NicklasB19 @C_Hags why can’t I find a guy like this???? 😩 😩 😩 😩 😩 Attached is a photo of Ovi looking…well…like a cross between a James Bond-ish model and the villain from a James Bond movie. It’s a good photo though, and Nicky wouldn’t hesitate to climb him if given the opportunity.

“Ovechkin looks like my grandpa but not blond,” Horny says, craning his neck to look over Nicky’s shoulder. “And maybe more teeth but that’s not saying much.”

“Leave me alone.”

About three hours later, there’s a reply from an account he doesn’t recognize. The icon is a photo of Ovi posing in a celly, triumphant, but it’s an unverified account. A fan twitter, most likely.

Sasha @ lucky8sasha – replying to @NicklasB19 hey Nicky @ NicklasB19 – replying to @lucky8sasha no

Sasha @ lucky8sasha – replying to @NicklasB19 im literally the guy in the pic Right. Of course he is. Nicky sets down his phone. Then it buzzes again.

DM from @lucky8sasha u make cake? In cute café with funy name?

Nicky’s bio said ‘baker,’ but then he remembered that a few months ago he posted a photo of Carl, Horny, and himself standing in front of Swede and Savory (photo courtesy of Phil). This Sasha guy is stalking his twitter.

Nicky: What do you want Sasha: a donut mostly. Lots of chocolate on top. Sasha: maybe meet u)))) u very beautiful Nicky: sorry I don’t date 14 year old boys who run fansites Sasha takes a while to respond. Then:

Sasha: I come to u before game? U busy? Nicky: I will throw a donut at you if you come within 10 feet of me Sasha: (((((( Sasha: im not 14. Im 31

Nicky considers this. Then Hags yells at him front inside the kitchen to come help, and Nicky forgets about Sasha the 14 year old.

-

Nicky’s putting new cupcakes into the display case when someone clears their throat.

“How can I help—” He trails off. “—you.”

“You not throw donut yet,” Alexander Ovechkin says, delighted.

“I…” Where did all the oxygen go? “I’m—is this a prank? Did Hags put you up to this?”

“Who’s Hags?” Ovi looks genuinely confused. It shouldn’t be as adorable as it is.

“There’s no—” He cranes his neck behind Ovi, squinting. “No cameras or—”

“Nope, just me,” Ovi says. “I’m not lie when I say I want donut. Sneak out before practice.”

Nicky blinks, then rings him up. Horny also chose then to come out from the kitchen, whisking away at a blend of lemon cream.

“Hey, Nicky, can you take over for a sec—oh my God.” Horny’s mouth drops open, but he recomposes himself quickly. “It’s a 50% extra charge for you in this establishment,” he says.

Ovi laughs, taking the donut from Nicky’s hands. “I leave shitty Yelp review then.”

“Shut up, no it’s not,” Nicky says, passing Ovi a pen and his receipt. “Sign, please.”

“Your name really Nicky?” Ovi asks, beaming. “Pretty name.”

“It’s a name,” Nicky says, trying to school his expression and praying that he doesn’t look as red as his cheeks feel. “Thanks.”

“You watch my game tonight, I score for you,” Ovi says. “For Nicky, who save me with donut. Lucky donut.”

Nicky grins. “Get out of here.”

Ovi’s returning smile is gap-toothed and it’s not charming, Nicky, it’s not. He repeats again, “You watch game.”

“I will,” Nicky says.

As Ovi leaves, Nicky finally looks down at the receipt, and noticed that Ovi left an $80 tip for a two dollar donut. "Wait, what the—Ovi—”

But Ovi had already darted out of the store.

“He left his fucking phone number, too,” Horny comments, studying the receipt. “Looks like we all got what we wanted today.”

“Shut up, Patric.”

-

(“Ovi, I noticed you were pointing at the cameras after you scored that phenomenal goal. Care to share what that was about?”

“Just having great day. Had donut before game. Got a text for a date.”

“A date—”

“No more questions.”)

[vargonautic]

This Or That

tagged by @my-beautiful-thief and @justanartsysideblog

1. Coke or Pepsi:I next to never drink any carbonated sodas, but definitely coke ou of the two!

2. Disney or Dreamworks: Disney :D

3. Coffee or tea: Tea all the way! I drink at least one cup of tea day

4. Books or movies: Hmm... books? I’m not sure, actually. I like movies and they’re easy to just relax to, but I usually get a stronger connection to books. But only with certain books... Man, can I say both?

5. Windows or Mac: Windows, but I do hold a giant grudge agains Windows 10 and how it decided to update without my permission and so permanently deleting a drawing I was working on

6. DC or Marvel: Marvel, but... Batman though

7. Xbox or PlayStation: ...both?

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: Definitely Dragon Age! I’ve played ME:1 and half of ME:2, but me and scifi just doesn’t go well together, I’m much more for the medieval fantasy stuff!

9. Night owl or early riser: Night Owl. Very much a night owl. On a perfect night I go to bed at 3am

10. Cards or chess: Cards,I’ve actually never played chess myself

11. Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla! A quick fact about me: I had to eat a lot of chocolate everyday when I was was recovering from an eating disorder, and now I can’t stand it anymore

12. Vans or Converse: Neither. Dr. Martens, though!

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: Lavellan Lavellan Lavellan Lavellan Lavellan Lavellan Lavel-

14. Fluff or angst: Both mashed into one!

15. Beach or forest: Forest. I’ve always loved nature since I was a tiny fetus

16. Dogs or Cats: Cats! I love dogs too, but man, I am so weak for kittens. Once I cried in class because a friend sent me pictures of kittns. They’re just so cutE

17. Clear Skies or Rain: Depends on if I’d rather be inside or outside that day. I love clear skies and warm sunlight, but rain is a wonderful excuse to stay inside and play games all day

18. Cooking or eating out: Cooking, especially trying to make new dishes!

19. Spicy food or mild food: Mild, I think. I am a swede and I am weak

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Oh man... this is actually really difficult. I love Halloween because I can make costumes and dress up and all that good stuff, but I love christmas with all my heart. Both again?

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot (and no the winter coats and ACs are not an option): A little too cold, that’s my usual state anyway

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: I’ve thought about this before, and I want the power to decide what power I need in that particular moment. Spilling something on the floor? Turn back time! Missed the bus? Teleportation! Need to sneak into the kitchen while my parents are having guests over? Invisibility! Yeah you get the point

23. Animation or Live action: Animation.

24. Paragon or renegade? Uh... Bitch on the outside but paragon at heart?

25. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? India, I think. I have a really good friend there and I can’t wait to meet her in person I want to hug her so much

26. Which Mass Effect class do you play as? I haven’t played much ME, and I don’t remember what I was doing when I did play 27. Roses or lilies?  Lillies!My mom has a lot of lilies in the garden, they’re so pretty <3

28.  Cold dessert or hot dessert? Hot! Tea and my dad’s homemade apple pie is an actual dream I’m living

29. Shower or Bath? I like to take baths, definitely, but I really love to take a hot shower at 2am before I go to bed :^)

30. Okay, my question: Writing or drawing? Drawing for me, writing is tough!

I tag uhh @lycheemilkart @nerdy-author @scurvgirl @sparkly-cassy and @asugarplumfairy

[daisycactus20-blog]

Why You Need to Visit Gothenburg and its Archipelago in West Sweden

This is a sponsored post in partnership with the Göteborg & Co.. All words and opinions are my own. Thank you for supporting the brands that help us do what we do!

We recently had the opportunity to travel to Gothenburg, Sweden (or Göteborg). If you’ve been following us on social media, you probably saw a ton of Insta Stories and posts about it. We were there to attend the Way Out West festival, as well as to explore this beautiful city. Needless to say, we were so smitten that we couldn’t help but take a million photos (677 to be exact) and to share the experience with you.

Sweden has been on my “wish list” of places to visit for years. But to be honest, I wasn’t familiar with Gothenburg, its second largest city on the West Coast. I had always assumed that a trip to Sweden would land me in Stockholm. But Gothenburg caught me by surprise. And quite frankly, swept me off my feet. If you’re planning a trip to Sweden, a stop on the West Coast is a must.

Given its location, Gothenburg had for years been a major port; more of an industrial city than its glitzy, high-fashion counterpart. But in the last few years, this city, which locals described to me as “laid back,” and “cozy” — a favorite word of Swedes — has seen a dramatic change.

Old buildings have been renovated and now house cool mixed indoor / outdoor spaces. There’s a huge focus on sustainability (both in terms of architecture, as well as in food and fashion). And there’s a general feeling that they’re on the edge of becoming the “next hot place” to visit (listen up New York Times and Afar!). Not to mention, of course, music is a big part of this city; the Way Out West Festival is held in Slottsskogen, its beautiful urban park, which is easily accessible by public transit.

It’s hard to choose highlights from the trip because, quite honestly, everything felt like a highlight. Our room in the Comfort Hotel, a hip chain in Scandinavia and the Baltics, faced the water and beautiful city that meets its edge.

Every day, we indulged in a delicious breakfast spread before heading out to explore the cobblestoned streets. Of course, most people will tell you to head straight to the Haga district, a historical shopping and dining area that’s now home to well-to-do young families and the giant cinnamon rolls the size of your head. Given its central location, we ended up strolling through numerous times and each time felt no less magical.

pictured in my favorite, go-to travel Everlane Wide Leg Cropped Pants (c/o)

The Magasinsgatan shopping district is the place to pick up both high-end goods, visit global chains, as well as to immerse yourself in local Swedish brands. There are plenty of restaurants, cafes (most notably, Da Matteo), and bars here. Like Lisbon, where yellow trams are ever-present, Gothenberg’s light-blue ones are ubiquitous. But that’s not the only way to get around the city. You can hop on a boat or in a canoe to navigate your way under dozens of flower-adorned bridges. Get yourself a three day transit pass and you can hop on and off as much as you want (you can even rent bikes!).

Another magical spot right inside the city? Trädgårdsföreningen, the dreamy The Garden Society of Gothenburg, and 1878 Palm House. This is perhaps one of the most Instagrammable spots in the city, and also one of the most relaxing. Surrounded by gardens, the Palm House is filled with cacti, palms, a lily pond, and a lovely seating area where you can lazy away the day with a book. If you get caught in the rain, I can’t think of a better place to wait it out.

Our initial plans only vaguely included a trip out to the archipelago. But once we arrived and realized how easy it was to get out to the islands, we booked our way there. Locals will recommend you allot an entire day for a trip out there, but honestly, it’s so quick that even if you have just a few hours, you shouldn’t miss the opportunity to zoom over on one of the fast ferries that take off from Salthammen.

The island of Vrångö, which was our first stop, is the southernmost inhabited of the islands (with just 300ish residents). No cars are allowed on the island, making it tranquil beyond imagination. You can literally walk around the entire island, along the coast, through its nature preserve, and through the little neighborhood. Find yourself a slice of sea, a warm rock, and you’re set for however long you’re lucky enough to stay. The sweet cafe just across from the ferry is the perfect spot to sip on your coffee, grab some lunch, and squeeze every last minute of your trip.

Another island we had the opportunity to visit was Styrsö, which was equally as beautiful, albeit felt just a tad more populated. Here you’ll be able to hike up to a historical point and be rewarded with a jaw-dropping view of the surrounding islands in the archipelago. You’ll also be able to grab a bite at Cafe Oberska which, to our great dismay, was closed for a private event when we visited. Everyone we talked to raved about the amazing food and atmosphere here.

Both Vrångö and Styrsö are great places to swim, so if you happen to be visiting on a warm summer day, pack your swimsuit! Cars are also not allowed on Styrsö, but you can rent a bike from one of the small hotels on the island (or bring your own). It amazed us both that we could feel so remote and in just an hour, be back in the city center (and at a major music festival). This is the kind of balance we really loved in Gothenburg: it felt like we were exploring a city, but it was easygoing and chill.

Food-wise, there’s a ton going on in the city. The focus on sustainability means that you’ll find inventive vegetarian and vegan spots, “natural” wines, but also fusion cuisine (dumplings, Thai, sushi). If you’re European, you’re probably already familiar with Oatly (based in Malmö, Sweden). I was obsessed with all of their widely-available offerings in restaurants, coffee shops, and at supermarkets. Oatly, if you’re listening, please bring your vegan ice cream (which we got to sample at Way Out West) State-side.

It’s been over a month since we returned from our trip and I can honestly say that it was one of the best trips I’ve ever taken. Gothenburg, you stole my heart! I’ve pulled together a list of spots we enjoyed. Stay tuned for a music-focused post (all about record stores and with snaps from Way Out West) from Matt soon!

Stay

Comfort Hotel Göteborg 

This is where we were stationed for the duration of our stay, and I can’t recommend it enough. The location was great (close to public transit, with a lovely view of the water), the daily breakfast was fantastic (like, way better than most hotel breakfasts), and our room was super comfy. Plus, the vibe in the lobby is super cozy and there’s a great rooftop bar.

Eat and Drink

Totale

Our first dinner was at this fantastic neighborhood spot, and we both agreed it was probably our favorite meal of the trip. You can eat creative dishes made with locally-sourced ingredients, beautiful wood-fired pizza, and wash it all down with natural wine. The decor is also super cute and hip.

Da Matteo Café

This coffee shop and bakery is perhaps the most famous in Gothenburg (they even won the award for best roaster in Sweden!). We brought a bag of heirloom coffee beans home with us to enjoy. They have a couple of locations, but you have to try their pastries; they are truly the best.

Restaurang Gabriel

This fish restaurant is actually at the top of the “fish church” and we had the most lovely and delicious meal here (all the fresh seafood your heart desires!). This is a great spot for lunch, especially if you find yourself in a downpour. The owner of the restaurant happens to be a former World Champion in Oyster Shucking (x2!).

Feskekörka

The “fish church,” as it is lovingly called,  is the triangle building you see in the photos above. Here, you can buy fresh seafood and also pick up a light lunch, which you can eat at the picnic tables overlooking the water.

Le-Gbg

Admittedly, I dragged Matt to this Instagram-worthy spot, which I found by looking at the Instagram Nathalie Cuti, a Swedish singer who happened to be performing at Cafe Gazette the evening we ate there! If you’re into wellness and looking for beautiful smoothie bowls, healthy-ish pancakes, and the like, you’ll love this sunny spot.

Kafé Magasinet

Another iconic Gothenburg eatery, this is a gorgeous, plant-filled space that is housed is a formerly-abandoned auction house, and is a must visit. You can grab pizzas, bagels, coffee, and beers here. This would be a sweet spot to enjoy a book, too.

Saluhallen market hall

This famous food hall is filled with deliciousness, and also happens to be a beautiful space to wander and oggle, and tempt your appetite..

Basque (tapas bar)

We stumbled upon this bar late one evening after Way Out West, and were positively smitten. They lay out tapas (small bites) on their counter, so you can grab what you want and they add it up later. Also, we learned that in Sweden, most places only serve low-alcoholic beer, but here, you’ll find the most impressive selection of beers, including ones made at local breweries. The bartender was super friendly, too. Go check out this spot for a bite and a drink!

Restaurang Sjöbaren

We really wanted to hit at least one “super traditional” Swedish restaurant, and this one, in the Haga, did not disappoint. We really enjoyed trying some old school dishes here. The restaurant itself feels casual — with wooden walls, and is situated on the main street in the Haga, so it’s a great place to grab a seat at the window and enjoy some people watching.

FORSSÉN ÖBERG – Champagnebar

This champagne bar is situated in a beautiful courtyard where you’ll also find a tiny record shop (more on that in the next guide). It’s absolutely adorable. On a warm summer night, you should grab yourself a glass of bubbly and relax under the beautiful trees.

Café Gazette

The night we ate at this hip restaurant, they were hosting Nathalie Cuti, a local musician, to kick off Way Out West. The scene here felt VERY COOL and we were curious how the food would be. It turned out, delicious. Small share plates were a great way to sample virtually everything on the menu. There’s a game room in the back, and lots of beers, plus an awesome outdoor area.

Cafe Obergska (on Styrsö)

I feel weird including this because we didn’t actually go here, but it is obvious to me that if you head to Styrsö and you are looking for food, Cafe Obergska is a must. Sadly, we were on the island on a day when they were closed for a private event, but it looked insanely charming and everyone I talked to said that the food is amazing here, too. In fact, an older couple we chatted with told us that they would sometimes decide to hop over from Gothenburg on a sunny day just to have breakfast here.

Skärgårdens Café (on Vrångö)

This is the only cafe on the island of Vrångö and you can’t miss it as it is literally right in front of where the ferry drops off. Sitting here, eating my lunch, and watching our ferry pull up was maybe one of the saddest moments of the trip as I did not want to leave this magical island. No joke, when I want to think of something warm and happy, I’ve been mentally returning here.

The food at Way Out West

I can’t not talk about the food at the Way Out West festival (more on that from Matt soon!), which is completely vegetarian. We tried to sample ALL THE THINGS but the most unique thing I saw there (and I spotted it right away) was the active charcoal burger. I thought it was so cool that all the food trucks at the festival, even ones that aren’t typically vegetarian, adapted all their menus. Honestly, and somewhat ironically, given Sweden’s connection to the sea, I came back from Gothenburg feeling like I need to eat less meat and seafood.

See

Trädgårdsföreningen, Garden Society of Gothenburg

This park is a can’t miss, in my humble opinion. It’s peaceful and beautiful, and the Palm House is absolutely stunning. Not to mention, it’s free. Being here makes you feel like you don’t have a care in the world. If you’re in Gothenburg for a few days, come here with a packed lunch and a book.

Haga old town

The historic part of the city oozes with charm. Come here for a fika (get the GIANT cinnamon buns) and do some shopping, too!

Slottsskogen City Park

This was the location of Way Out West, but this lovely urban park is well-worth a visit even when there’s no festival happening. As someone who used to live blocks from Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, I so appreciate urban green spaces like this one. You can get here on a tram or bus, or rent one of the city bikes!

Paddan Sightseeing

Ok, when we first saw a boat tour on our itinerary, I was a bit skeptical. I’m not really a boat person, nor a tour person, but this ended up being so fun! You get to see the city from the water, passing under tons of bridges. Not to mention, we learned a lot about Gothenburg’s roots: its shipyards and role in wars, its relationship with Norway and Denmark, and how it has come out of a recession.

Shop

Artilleriet

This is hands down the most beautiful interior shop in Gothenburg. The kitchen part of the shop, though, is the dreamiest part…those yummy green walls..

Grandpa

If you’re looking to pick up a cool Swedish raincoat, sunglasses, or sweater, head over to this store. You’ll find Grandpa in the same square as Da Matteo . You’ll have a hard time leaving empty handed (you’ve been warned).

Twist and Tango

I stumbled upon this store in the Haga during their blowout summer clearance, and walked out with a pair of leather blush pink slides. They started in Gothenburg but also have a location in Stockholm. I’m not a fan of kitschy souvenirs, but shoes I can do. Check it out! They also have an online shop, but sadly don’t ship to the U.S.

Source: https://www.turntablekitchen.com/2018/09/gothenburg-west-sweden/

[olusegundare]

How My Life Regained Harmony After I Stopped Dating American Women - James Maverick

How My Life Regained Harmony After I Stopped Dating American Women

James Maverick

My last encounter with an American woman was such a soul-crushing and thought-provoking event that I was forced to go back to Europe on a yet another soul-searching mission.

It made me realize how much less I’m able to connect and “get” American girls; where as before I could at least tolerate them.

Over the years I’ve adjusted my interaction with non-American and non-Western women in many ways — ways that I’m afraid could be completely irreversible if I ever need to get into the pants of an American girl.

I Almost Never Tease or “Neg”

With American women it’s always a contest: who has a better job, who makes more money, and who has bigger balls.  If you prove worthy to merit her limited attention span, your reward will be a series of tests designed to elicit self-validation and put you off balance.  One misstep and game’s over.

You’re supposed to bring out this so called “alpha male” persona — the one women have been conditioned over and over by Hollywood and other media to accept as the only one worthy of their time.  If you don’t possess the movie-star looks of Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, then you better make that up by out-dueling her with witty conversation.  And that’s why teasing and “negging” works so well: you’re finally able to showcase your natural or learned “alpha” traits and win her attraction.

In the rest of the world being a confident man is more than enough to win attraction from most women.  You just have to approach, and the rest naturally falls into pieces.

I compliment more

On one of my most memorable nights in one of Rio de Janeiro’s best nightclubs, I remember approaching a beautiful woman without any games, lines, or gimmicks.  I simply smiled and said that I couldn’t believe a beautiful woman like herself was sitting all alone (she was truly stunning).  She smiled, and feeling flattered responded whether I start a conversation with every woman like that.  Can you imagine a beautiful American woman responding the same way?  She sure wasn’t bitchy and defensive like a typical American woman in similar situation.

Women love compliments they deem as sincere and genuine.  Know the typical Italian behavior towards women?  How they usually go overboard complimenting every woman by calling them “bella donna, beautiful, etc”?  Well, that stuff works very well because non-American women usually respond very warmly to compliments.  Of course, you must fine a fine line between being too stoic and too complimenting, and recalibrate that line for every woman you meet.

Overtime my game has naturally adjusted more to the complimenting and sweet-talking side rather than my dick and combative side.  It has worked pretty well.

I’m More Chivalrous

Many years ago when I went on one of my first dates with an American girl (most of my conquests in US were South American and Eastern European), I behaved the same exact way as I used to with other girls: I opened doors, let her go in first, got the check — except this time my date couldn’t help by blabbing out, “are you going to keep doing this all night?” as if her state of femininity was somehow threatened by my “condescending” behavior.

Being of Eastern European descent, I always felt it was important for men to be chivalrous to a certain extent.  I find it natural behavior to let a woman go in somewhere first, open doors, and help them with putting on coats in winters.  I’ve done it for my mother all my life, and continue to do it with women in certain situation.

A Latvian girl I met in Sweden commented right away how she found it strange when Swedes never opened the door for her.

This is has nothing to do with somehow pedestaling the girl, but more about being a bit more considerate to the weaker sex in non-feminized countries (which includes most of the world).

I’m Willing To Spend Money

Typical American dating rituals involves going to a bar, jumping through a few hoops so that you don’t buy her drink (i.e., I’ll buy the first round, if you buy the next), getting her drunk, then taking her home.

But the expectations are different in other parts of the world.  In Eastern Europe, it’s fully expected for the guy to pay for the girl (at least initially), since he was the one who invited her initially.  In exchange, you get to have a great interaction with a quality woman, instead of some crackberry addict with prepared interview questions or an over-the-hill stalker with family aspirations.  You may pay for dinner and drinks one day, but next time she’ll gladly come over and whip up a great meal for you, or even clean your house wearing nothing but high heels.

One night at a salsa club in Medellin, Colombia, after I bought a bottle of rum, my date quickly fixed me up a drink without me saying a word.  She then asked me if I liked the drink, else she would fix it to my satisfaction.  When was the last time an American girl EVER did something like this to you?

And I’m perfectly OK paying more than my share if I get non-tangible benefits in return.

I Don’t Play Games

When I called an American girl 3 days after our first date to see how she is and possibly schedule a future date, she immediately asked if I’m running some “3 day rule”.  It’s hard to describe in words how pissed off I felt when the first thing someone tells you is not a simple “Hi” or “how are you?” but throw a test your way to see how you would react.

Are you that insecure that you don’t believe some guy actually called you without any premeditated planning whatsoever? That perhaps the world is not a series of planned steps to be executed in perfect sequence?

In most of the world outside US and Canada (e.g., in Brazil, Argentina, Romania and Ukraine), one can invite the girl out the same night after meeting her earlier during the day.  I invited a Brazilian girl I met at a cafe for a drink the same evening, and since she had no plans yet, she gladly agreed.  In America you can forget about this tactic mostly because the girl will think you’re desperate by not keeping yourself busy seven days a week like she is: by attending Yoga, Pilates, Cycling classes or simply having a slumber party with her girlfriends even though she’s well over 25 or 30 years old.

I’m happier

I no longer view seduction as “work” like I did in America, but a fun and fulfilling activity for both parties.  Where as in America guys strongly believe in the numbers game since that’s the only way to rationalize the amount of work one must put it, abroad things are skewed towards quality.  I know for a fact that the cute brunette sitting at the coffee shop will most likely be polite to my advances whether she’ll want to talk to me or turn me down; and regardless if she had a bad day, etc.

I don’t get cock blocked, I don’t get into fights with aggressive “mother hens” and it’s back to actually seducing women instead of “gaming” them.  And truth be told, why would you have it any other way?

Interested in building your own passive, location-independent business? Want to avoid needless trial and error? Want to start off on the right foot under proper guidance?

[sarmtravels-blog]

Day 6, Samui and Phangan: the motorcycle diaries

Thai expression of the day: kop kuhn ka. It means thank you 🙏🏼

Click here for pictures from Samui and here for pictures from Phangan!

Had a late start to the day (6:30!!!) but stayed in bed for an hour and a half. It was pouring while I was still in bed but when there was a break in the rain, I decided to venture back into town. Of course, once I got 1/3 of the way there, it started to torrrentially downpour but it made more sense to keep going. I found a quaint little open-air café and sat down for some avocado toast. For the 30 minutes I was there, it wasn't raining and  I think every mosquito on the island took a bite of me. When I left to walk back, it began to pour AGAIN. Soaked, itchy, and disheartened, I walked back to the hostel. I checked out so I could start my say and I chatted with Leah and Lucas from Germany over a cup of coffee. Ethan and I rented motorbikes, but I made the rookie mistake of saying that I had never ridden before and the guy freaked out. I assured him that Ethan would teach me, and I bought insurance for 200 Baht.... just in case. The entire rental cost 400 Baht ($11) for the whole day. After a bit of practice with and without Ethan around the hostel, I was ready to ride. Keep in mind, motorcycles are in my top 10 biggest fears. They're incredibly dangerous and people who ride them tend to do really dumb things. Nonetheless, I knew I had to try. I rode alone and Alex rode with Ethan. We rode about 20 minutes to a beach, through busy roads and small villages. I was horrified but adrenaline was on my side. When we got the beach, Ethan and I went for a swim, but the security made us stop because the waters are so incredibly rough. We took a long walk up the beach. After 15 minutes or so, I turned back and they kept going. I found a stray dog and, for the sake of facing fears, I pet it and we ended up running along the shore together. It was kinda romantic. Post-doge, I walked back to the village, leaving my motorcycle where I had it parked next to theirs, hoping they'd realize I was still in town when they got back. I found an Israeli restaurant (הנקודה החמה) and I felt at home and relieved in a sense. I ordered in Hebrew- that's always fun. Motor biking was so scary but this lunch felt comforting. All of these Thai islands are suuuper Israeli I ran into them walking back to my bike. We biked about 10 more minutes to another beach and then they wanted to keep exploring. It was 14:20 and I wanted to make a 16:00 ferry to Koh Phangan, so I decided to bike back by myself. Almost got into 2 accidents but there is very little comparable to that kind of thrill. Quick pit stop at the bank and then I headed to the hostel. I changed out of my clothes and walked with my ginormous backpack to the street to hail a taxi. I was really lucky I found one. He brought me to Big Buddha Pier and I arrived with 10 minutes to spare. The guy taking tickets hit on me.. IN HEBREW. But I shut him down... IN HEBREW. It was really funny. I ended up with a group of Brits- particular, next to Ollie. Because of the storms, the waves were insane and the boat was rocking at insane angles. If I hadn't taken dramaMine, it would have been game over. From the pier, I walked to the hostel (~4 min) in heavy rain and when I got to reception, there were a bunch of other people. Davin, the owner of the hostel, was super friendly and cool about the rules. His main mission is to get people to make friends. This island has a total party culture which is really intense but amazing and chill as well. The hostel offers events every night in addition to street parties. I spoke with some of the people who checked in with me and then found Nate in the common area. He was with Evan and Georgia from Florida. Turns out Evan is a Spanish Jew from Miami who did HSI and worked at CJ, so naturally we knew all the same people. Davin showed me to my bed in the 41-person mixed dorm, and it turned out that I was meant to share a queen size mattress with his brother. However, his brother isn't usually around and I have yet to meet him... Me, nate, Evan, and 2 other guys went to get some dinner. All of a sudden, Tom and Lexy from Israel joined us. I instantly recognized Lexy Grant as someone who went to camp with me and my college friend's cousin! Small works for smaller when we went to the hostel and Maya Lewis, an old camp friend, was there. It was a nice reunion :) After we'd eaten, we spent a few hours playing drinking games in the street. I spoke to everyyyyybody! The thing to drink here is a bucket, which is basically any mixed drink you want spiked with Red Bull. (Plot twist: the Red Bull they have here is the OG red bull that's illegal in the US.) I taught everyone Flip Cup and Slap Cup and I watched some beer pong. The table was super close to the speaker so it was really hard to explain. I met a few guys (Bobo, Yves, Martin, Andy) from Sweden, some Argentinian guys including an Argentinian pro basketball player, a couple of people from England (notably: Lettie), and more. There was talk of a Waterfall party and pool party. The pool party was free so th hostel consensus was to go there. Me, my Swedish buds, and Lettie went to 7/11 to get snacks and then we got a free cab to the  pool around 23:30. When we got there, it was not poppin. We jumped in the pool to get things started which kinda worked, but Lettie and I were not having the most amazing time. Around 12:45, we walked back to the hostel. A bunch of people were heading out the pool party at that point but we were set on staying in and saving energy for the next two days. [caption id="attachment_306" align="alignnone" width="3264"] Swedes poolside... this was candid :)[/caption] [caption id="attachment_308" align="alignnone" width="2448"] Lettie found a cute dog outside 7/11[/caption] [caption id="attachment_307" align="alignnone" width="2448"] They bought 21 "Cheesies"[/caption] Back at the dorm, a few people were asleep. Next to me was a British guy sleep talking/singing/moaning who woke himself up. Leti and I had a grand time talking to him and messing with him when he woke up. I took a shower because I stunk to the high heavens, and got in bed to write for a bit. My innermost thoughts:

It's gonna be tough to keep up the party for 3 days but everyone here is incredible and has the best mindset, I can't even write down all the names and counties of people I meet because there's so many

I'm still in shock I rode a bike on my own. I've been so afraid of them for so long but now all I wanna do is ride again...

I feel like I didn't capture everything as well today but I'm happy I did what I did

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 3

Next!

Again, live blogging and posting my reactions all in one post to avoid spamming.

This post got accidentally deleted yesterday so I had to write or all again (twice!)

Oh, starting with a Klaus and Ben 1960 flashback! Ah, Klaus... You have no shame. Let my baby eat though!

Lol "Chanel". Boy knows his fashion, of course.

And there's Boney M playing!

You can practically read his mind when he sees that diamond. Sugar momma alert! 😆

Damn, loving the black outfit, very sexy.

LEVITATING KLAUS WAS BEN LIFTING HIM UP! Seems that one crack theory on the fandom was right 🤣

Ben's face though 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

These two are the best combo. I love them.

61, Baja, NM. Traveling hippie commune.

Is Klaus still sober? He refuses a joint here so I'm inclined to believe that he is but he isn't acting very sober... Then again that might be an act, just him embracing the hippy life.

CALLED IT!!! BEN FALLS IN LOVE, DOESN'T HE?! I FUCKING CALLED IT IN EP 1!

62, Varanasi, India. The river scene from the promos. Yeah, I called this one too. Klaus is already looking seriously uncomfortable and realizing this is getting out of hand.

63, San Francisco. Poor Klaus is practically suffocating under all the touching and nobody respects his space or his words.

Destiny's Children! 🤣 You are such a 90s kid, Klaus.

Run away, Klaus! Run! Escape the crazies.

Ok, let me paused to write out a thought...

So a lot of people were worried about the cult thing and Klaus's intentions but it's clear he had no malicious intentions at all. He charmed and impressed some people for survival purposes and thrived, he enjoyed the love and attention at first and the cult just grew around around him organically whether he liked it or not, more a hippy cult of personality then a religious sect, but at some point he saw that it had gone too far, the pressure and expectation became too much and he realized he'd bitten more than he can chew.

It's actually rather sad how he just wants to escape but the cultists objectify him to all hell, he has no privacy or personal space. The problem with Klaus is that he doesn't do anything mildly, he always goes too big until he's drowning. Boy is already self-sabotaging and I'm sure he's going to start self-destructing very soon as well.

End of thought. Clicking play again.

Ouch! Poor Diego 😰 Lila, that is not how you cauterize a stab wound...

"what happened?" -your dear daddy stabbed you, dude.

Did she really need to strip him so thoroughly? 😏 Yes, yes, she did.

Well, at least she's not sewing you up, Diego. No needles, yay.

"oh, he isn't dead." "Disappointed?" "To see you? Always 😊" -did I mention I love Five's sass? I did? Well, I do.

Old family friend 😆

"you don't untie him?" "Was I supposed to?" Oh Lila, you're adorable, poor Elliot.

Vanya, that is suspicious as hell, just mow down that weirdo!

Ok, good instincts but too slow.

Run, girl, run!

Got to admit, these Swedes are good battle strategy, they are surrounding her surprisingly well.

Is this were the badass Vanya promo was from? Show me badass Vanya, please.

BADASS VANYA! 💖

Ooooooh, very smart, Five!!!

One of the machines though? What are the others for? I'm curious.

Plano Street Rooming House for Solitary Men? That's real depressing, Luther.

It's the "the end is nigh" guy the same that was screaming with Luther in ep 1?

King Kong! Not sure if cute or rude af...

Ahahahah! Luther literally STUMBLING on "Allison" and then acting like an awkward Steve Rogers when the kids call him out 😆 Boy, when will you realize that your obsession is creepy?

Honestly, ALL the Hargreeves siblings can be divided into two categories- sweet awkward dork or sass king/queen, there is no in-between (but Diego and Klaus get to be both).

Convenient that Vanya would just sit there and wait to be found by Five but ok.

"I have a brother?" -honey, you have five (pun fully intended)

IKEA MAFIA! 😂

Nice crop circle, Vanya.

Five just rolls with the amnesia, huh? Doesn't even question it. Ok, then.

Why is Ruby, notorious mobster, sewing sequins? It's it for the dog? I bet, it's for the dog.

"Hargreeves. She your ex?" *Cue Luther's super awkward fumbling* "S-Sorta...Y-Yeah. Sure." - big boy, this is the point where you realize how creepy your crush on your own sister is, time to reevaluate.

KLAUS AND ALLISON REUNION! THEY ARE SO CUTE! 😭💜

Honestly, I need more Klaus and Allison interactions. They have so much bff potential.

*le gasp* "oh, you're married?" 😲 -yes, Klaus, you met him.

"dicks, drugs, debutants. My holy trinity" -ok so everything Klaus says should be taken with a grain of salt but does Klaus still do drugs or not? Considering the evolution of his powers with Ben I'd say no, but we aren't seeing other ghosts harassing him so... Hmm, I need confirmation.

"alternative spiritual community" my ass

Ah, Allison falls into the sass queen category.

Allison can have a little PTSD, as a treat. 😢

Those shoes! Hi, Handler.

Those shoes really are her signature by now. Those heels could kill a man.

Handler as a brunette...? She looks good but I like her bleach blonde.

What did she say to make that boy pee himself?? Damn, Handler, no wonder your kid is a mess.

These dudes need to start listening to my girl Allison, instead of following her husband like puppies.

Great speech, girl! ✊

What is up with that sandwich???

Oh wait, it's Ben right? Klaus is using his powers to get Ray out of jail, isn't he?

Yup, of course he is.

Ben being all sassy and cocky about it gives me life.

"high places" - 😆

Poor Ray, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

"family barbecues are about to get reeeeeeeal weird" - I'd actually like to see that.

"leave the pot, dear" - you're such an old man, Five.

"any questions?" Five, if be worried if she DIDN'T have questions after all that.

"asteroid impact" -aww 💜 you really do care for her feelings, Five... But you have to tell her the truth sooner or later.

Harlan likes classical music, huh? Good thing he knows a good violinist.

Harlan and Sissy... 😭 My poor heart.

Ouch! What is wrong with you, Lila? You're right but what is wrong with you?

"I can't believe I got shanked by my own father" - can't you, Diego? Really? After everything else that man did to you and your siblings?

"man to man, that son of bitch wouldn't stand a chance" - yeah, he would, he taught you all you know, boy

Not sure if Lila's story is true or not but... I still have that one theory that she was born on October, 1989...

"I don't understand you!!!" - ahah, poor Diego 🤣

Really? Right in front of Elliot's tuna mold?

Man, Handler is really obsessed with Five...

Oh, Luther, you giant puppy...

This is so AWKWARD!

Bonbons, Luther? Really?

Ok, this small talk is even MORE AWKWARD! It physically hurts to listen to this.

The pain in his face and voice when Luther goes "S-so great" 😭

boy, this is the moment you realize it's time to move on, you're not isolated teenagers in a dysfunctional home anymore, let her be your sister and find love elsewhere.

The sit in!

"seven languages" sassy, sassy, I love her.

YOUNG DAVE!

Oh no... Klaus, no, baby... Oh, this is painful.

Ben, don't be mean, let your brothe have this.

What kind of gay man doesn't know what eggshell is? 😆

"is this considered stalking? 'cause I think you're stalking now" - well, BEN, following your brother 24/7 for 15 years can also be considered stalking

Oh no, Vietnam flashbacks... Poor Klaus 😭😭😭

"Vietnam fling"? Ben, you know it wasn't just a fling! Stop being mean.

Aw, Klaus just wants to save Dave... He's willing to sacrifice their relationship to save Dave's life... 😭😭😭

I know Ben is just worried but he could be less mean...

Damn, this sit in thing is really upsetting...

Why is Ray being weird? Is he suspicious of Luther and Alison's relationship? Or is he just unhappy that Allison kept secrets about her family?

Oh Luther, no... Self-harm by proxy is not going to make you feel better.

Oh, motherfucker! That coffee thing was such an asshole move!

Shit, this scene is so well written, the way something so small is making the whole protest escalate to all hell... The police brutality, the parallels with recent events... Disturbing and brilliant and deeply relevant!

Yes! Rumor that motherfucker, Allison!

Oh no, don't be scared of your wife, Ray! Don't be suspicious!

Poor Allison... 😢

Oh Luther, you dumbass... 😢

Lila going to meet mommy, huh?

Oh, she's still wearing Diego's bracelet. Cute.

I know this scene between Handler and Lila was supposed to be a shocking plot twist but after David Castañeda's interview slip up, I already knew.

Still, an excellent scene and very cool surprise.

Like I said before, I really like Lila, I don't trust her AT ALL but I like her.

...

THIS WAS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE... Again.

My god, this show gives me life.

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 7

More thoughts and live blogged reactions.

1982. I'm assuming Five used a briefcase... But in s1 we saw that the briefcase travels are tracked (Hazel and Cha-Cha got reprimanded for Klaus's Vietnam trip) so I'm not sure how the board doesn't know someone is coming... I might be overthinking.

Five being creepy.

Is that a Fudge Nutter like Handler mentioned in season 1? Oh, it is.

Jesus, Five! Anger management for you, old man.

AAHH! THEY LET FIVE SAY FUCK! Fucking finally! 🤣

How did nobody notice that destruction? 😆

Oh, the axe! Is Five going to go all American psycho? Because I'd love to see that.

HOLY SHIT!

That smile!

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

Is he using tiny time travel bursts like Reggie said? Or a briefcase? Or is he just that fast?

AJ hiding under the table 😆

Pausing to drink water and grin, what a psycho, I love him.

He's definitely using time jumps but they are so controlled that I'm guessing briefcase or Handler little time stopping trick. I'm so proud of my mass murder baby.

... Vending machine? Lady, you have interesting priorities.

CRICKET BAT!

Wait! AJ's human body feels pain? How?

Please make Five swallow the fish like in the comics! Please, please, please, please.

The dancers are just like

I LOVE FIVE! The lengths this little killer will go for his family are unbelievable, nobody should ever doubt his love and devotion for them ever again.

This whole murder scene was incredible and Five's obvious glee made it even better. FEAR HIM!

Jesus, Klaus is so afraid of being possessed that he's afraid to sleep and Ben just mocks him? 😘💋 I get that this is supposed to be a funny 'brothers messing with each other' kind of thing but Klaus feels so unsafe that it makes me uncomfortable. What happened to you, Ben, when did you become so dark? You were the nice one!

Ben just getting closer and closer every time Klaus closes his eyes just gave me Doctor Who flashbacks.

"I hate your face" "I hate all of you" - Don't say that boys! You know you love each other.

Ok, Ben has a point. I'm actually liking this conversation. And I'm liking that Klaus is starting to understand his brother.

Ok, this is such a brother conversation. And Klaus constantly pretending not to know who Jill is 😆

Ground rules... Well, at least it's consensual now. That's something. See? Communication works.

Damn, the tension at the lunch table cut be cut with a knife. I'm scared what Carl is going to do.

Ray and Allison have a lovely relationship but I finally identified the problem, the tension I was feeling between since them a few eps back. It's not about Allison's secrets at all, is about Ray being so obsessed with his crusade that he completely overlooks Allison's feelings, he only pays attention to her when they are on the page about the mission. He sees her powers and his first thought is 'we could use this for the cause', Allison is clearly distressed and sad and even says she doesn't feel well and all he can think about is the damn JFK meeting. He's not a bad person and he's not doing it on purpose but he has a workaholic one-track mind that could easy turn into neglect for Allison. He clearly loves her and I'm rooting for them so much but I know that if asked to choose between Allison and his cause, he'll pick his cause.

So Five is done with the killing. I figured this might weigh on his conscience, it's one thing to kill for a greater good or survival, coldly and detached, it's another thing to slaughter for selfish reasons (even if his selfish reasons are a greater good).

Handler going all mom on him and wiping his face. 😆

"What I did today, I did for my family" -we know, baby, and they better respect you for it. You love then so much.

90 minutes??? Wtf, I knew Handler would try to screw Five over but that's just cruel, she's forcing him to uproot the family without even giving them time to say goodbye and that's even IF he can get to all of them on time.

It's not a name, you idiots. Also, that's Olga, not öga.

Don't harass the poor woman... Oh God, you guys are such morons... Diego, you dramatic little bitch...

"Wrong number. Have a lovely day" 🤣🤣🤣

I love the new dumbass buddy cop dynamic between Diego and Luther. This is the sort of positive brotherly dynamic they always should have had instead of being pitted against each other all their lives.

"you have some blood on you" "a lot of blood, actually. Five, what did you do?" -the casual, mildly annoyed way they ask is hilarious, if they knew what he did they'd be horrified (and possibly impressed).

Handler's militaristic chic dress is fabulous. I personally don't like it very much (or the message it sends) but it's haute couture and incredibly designed. Also, the bleached hair is back!

"any questions?" And then she leaves without listening. Power move 😏

Luther trying to comfort Diego like the dork he is. 🤣

Really though, I feel bad for Diego, and Five is under so much pressure that I don't blame him for snapping.

"I'm shy" -are you, Klaus? Are you really? You keep walking around in underwear in front of dozens of people, you're not shy.

So is Klaus lactose intolerant?

Ok, so far the possession thing is not as bad as some people were claiming. So far.

"stay focused" *giggle* -oh Ben, you dork 😆

Ahah, Ben enjoying all the different sensory stimuli. Adorable. He's just so happy, poor boy.

Dirt angels. SO CUTE ❤️

I know this all supposed to be cute and all but it would also be a perfect moment for Ben for experience Klaus's powers (the constant hauntings) as well as his addiction and the claustrophobic expectations of the cult. It would be an excellent chance to make Ben understand why Klaus is the way he is, seeing as Klaus is making a huge effort (and sacrifice) to do the same for Ben. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening because I think they want to keep this part about Ben.

By end of season 1 Klaus cried that people still didn't take him seriously, his compassion despite all his suffering made him likeable and deep, but this season he's back to being the family joke, I don't like that there's no resolution to that. But let's see where this goes, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Oh God, Carl's talk is freaking me out.

"who I am is not a disease" -very powerful LGBT+ statement considering it's the 60s!!!!

Oh, the blackmail...

Everybody keeps expecting Vanya to explode every time she gets emotional but this scene proves how much control she truly has. Respect!

Oh, finally Claire is mentioned! I've been rather upset that Allison hasn't mentioned her daughter even once this season (does Ray even know he has a stepdaughter?) seeing as most of her arc in season 1 revolved around her love and guilt over Claire.

Luther is right when he says they don't get live formal lives because they are special but Allison is even more right when she says that's not fair. This is why this family needs to stick together and love each other, they are the only ones that can really understand each other's struggles.

"hope" -Luther, you really are such a sweet summer child.

OH! I CAN FINALLY SEE ALLISON'S SCAR! The lighting in this scene makes it really obvious. Finally.

Ben and the strawberry. 🤣

"you're different today. You're dorkier" ah! First time anyone called Ben 'Sassy' Hargreeves dorky.

Oh Ben, you're adorable... Wait, "smell your hair"? What the fuck, Ben? You weirdo.

Holy crap! Jill is really forward, isn't she? Hippies, man.

Ben stuttering! 😆🤣 He died a virgin, didn't he?

It's funny but please tell me he isn't actually considering that in his brother's body...

Wait, did Klaus slap him because he doesn't want to have sex or because he's trying to stop Ben from ruining his own chance by saying too much?

Actually, I'm almost sure it's the second one, Klaus is playing wingman on his own body!

WHAT????

Ok so Ben IS a virgin but "you, me and Keechie"? What the fuck, Klaus? You slept with the fanatical crybaby and your brother's crush????

"Klaus, you're so filthy!" "Yes, you are, daddy." -Ben, this girl is not right for you. Run, boy!

AHAHAHAH ASDFGDDGGHSGSGASFHDBKDIS 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 DIEGO CALLING HIM DADDY!

Wait, AJ can speak without the body/suit/whatever?

Handler is going a little bit fascist dictator, isn't she?

Gotta admit, Handler really is such a mom in her own twisted way.

Ben giggling when he talks to Diego. Cute.

"Luther sniffs Dad's underwear" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

AWWWWWWWW, BEN AND DIEGO! THE CHILDHOOD HIJINKS! THE HUG!

GOD, THE HUG! ❤️

I need all the siblings hugging Ben now!

"you stay in this body, we need someone responsible behind the wheel" -Diego, I understand what you mean given the situation, but you playing obvious favorites between your brothers when free will and body autonomy are on the line is a little creepy.

"no one is insignificant" -that line is so loaded when used on Vanya.

Oh no, Vanya and Five playing the blame game is so bad... They used to be so close... They are both under so much pressure, this won't end well.

Oh boy, Five looks like he's on the verge of crying and Vanya sees that! I bet that's why she backed down. 😲😢

The Lila and Diego conversation is heartbreaking without even trying...

Is that Elliot? Is Diego burying Elliot because nobody else will? Diego really does have a heart of gold.

Don't drinkit! I'm pretty sure Lila is drugging you.

Yup, there it is.

What is she planning?

Once again, it's all about the movement with Ray.

"I would take my one year with you over a lifetime with anybody else." 😭 Oh Ray ❤️

But I get the feeling this won't end so easily.

There it is, the Swedes just arrived. And the smart assholes went right for Allison's throat.

You don't need the coffee can, Sissy. The Hargreeves are loaded.

Sissy, hurry up.

BEN, YOU ARE SUCH A 90s KID!!! So the Backstreet Boys are Ben's fault, God, I love this dork 🤣

Come on, Allison, you can fight better than this!

Good girl!

Klaus and Ben running and fighting each other at the same time 😆

Holy shit, that is some Exorcist level vomiting!

Poor Klaus, I totally get Ben's side in this (pretty sure he was trying to save Klaus by getting him to Five ASAP) but this whole thing made me mildly uncomfortable. Klaus just keeps sacrificing for everyone and nobody respects his boundaries.

Holy shit, Allison! That is so cruel! I like it though, so ruthless and vicious. 😈

Problem- Allison can't just leave Ray with a white corpse in the house. Especially not in Texas, death penalty and all.

Oh Sissy, you dumbass. You're a sweetheart but also a dumbass.

Ok, Lila is pretty insane. That's for sure.

Five:

"I don't want to hurt you" - well, Vanya warned them.

My baby is getting really good with her powers.

I hope that hit to the head doesn't give Vanya her memory back, that's so cliché and convenient, or would be really bad writing.

SHIT IS HITTING THE FAN. I'm dying to see more!!!!!!