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namelessthirst · 5 years ago

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Domestic

So this is straight up gonna be a compilation of gross, silly, and funny domestic moments of various characters. And of various things. If you’re easily grossed out, maybe don’t read this. I’ll try to list all yucky things ahead, but be warned. Just a snack while I work on rqs and wips!

I’m not listing every character on here like usual and you can’t make me.

3k and some change words total.

Butt zits, pregnancy, vomit, snot/sneezing, blackheads, farts, burps, poop, periods, yeast infections, B.O., Testicular cancer, pee, pubic hair, teeth goop, bad breath, and some smut.

You were shimmying your shirt on, trying to avoid staining the edges with your deodorant, when your boyfriend hurried to you from the bathroom.

"[Name], is this a blackhead or a freckle?"

You sighed as you spoke, paying little mind to Izuku as you checked the shirt's edges for marks, "It's a freckle, Izzy."

When you were met with silence, you looked up into his fervent pout.

"Don't give me that look, that's the same tone you gave me when I asked you that a week ago!"

"Just- check, please? I might have an interview later," he wheedled.

You huffed without malice, "Yeah and they're definitely going to do an HD zoom check on your pores."

"Ow owww, your nails are sharp!" For a guy who got his bones broken on the regular before, he sure did whine about little things.

"Ah."

"What?"

"It wasn't a freckle."

"I TOLD YOU." ---------------------------------------------------

"Hi babe," you called from the living room, your voice raised over the sound of the TV.

Eijiro headed past the living room to dump his gym bag on the bedroom floor, "Heey."

"Have fun?"

"Well, you weren't there so..." His voice came through more clearly as he walked back toward you.

"Awww," You cooed with puckered lips in a mock kissy-face.

He flopped heavily down beside you on the couch, tucking his arm behind your head.

"Tetsu says hi," he notes cheerfully, leaning in to mouth at your neck.

It takes a second for the prickle of teeth to pull your eyes away from the screen and into a lidded stare, "Mmm."

You can feel Eiji nudging his leg up under yours, trying to settle you more into his lap.

The firm pressure of his thigh under your ass didn't stay comfortable for long.

"Eiji..." You almost didn't want him to stop the tickle of hot breath on your throat.

"Mmm..."

"Eijiro."

"Yeah, baby?"

"You're stinky." -----------------------------------------------

"Honeeeey-"

You heard your husband's feet hurried across the floor to the bed, "Yeaaaah?"

"Feel my balls."

"Are we really already past the sweet-talk phase?"

"No, really."

You sighed, seeing the wavering smile on Neito's face that tended to show up when he was worried, and sat up away from your book to cup the presented scrotum.

"Do you...feel anything?"

"I feel balls."

"[Name]!"

"No, sweetie, I don't feel anything. Why?"

"I just...thought I felt something."

With another sigh, you smiled fondly, "No baby, they feel just like they always do. Come lay down?"

Without a smug comment or cocky look, he climbed in beside you as you made room. He must have been really freaked out.

Nothing a few kisses can't fix.

--------------------------------------------- It was moments before disaster.

The calm before the storm.

The gentle hugs and rubs before movie night was rudely interrupted.

The sneeze caught you off-guard, even caught Katsuki off guard, his hand coming to your side when you jerked from the force.

When you stilled, nose still buried in your arm, he raised a brow.

"Babe, let me up."

"What? Why?"

Despite his protests you moved his arms from around you and lifted yourself up off his lap, revealing the wet spot left on his poor soft sweat pants.

He ended up following you out to change pants. -------------------------------------------- "Ow, babe, careful!"

"I'm trying! This isn't exactly a clear process."

Untangling your boyfriend's pubes was not exactly how you expected your evening of intimacy to go.

Things had been so sweet, naked and cozy in bed, gently running your fingers through the black tufts above his cock while you sucked tongue together...

And now the damn thing was in the way. His half hard dick trying to spring up with every shift while you tried to pull apart the knot.

"That’s it, I'm getting the scissors."

"No!" -------------------------------------------- Tetsu nearly ironed up on reflex when you jumped him immediately outside of the locker room.

"Whoa, babe!"

You snickered at him, comfy even with his firm grip on your biceps. "Whats with that look? Don't tell me you really got spooked by me."

"I just didn't expect you here! I'm not off duty for another few hours, y'know," He huffed.

You wiggled free of his grasp to dip your hand into the satchel on your hip, tugging out a yellow lunchbox, "Yeah, but now's about your lunchtime, right? I thought we could eat together."

He looked curiously at the meal once you'd opened the box, steam wafting out from the pan-fried spinach and egg. Little strips of cooked beef took up more of the box, along with some rice and lemon.

He was drooling with as much intensity as his heart throbbed for you.

With a relieving snort, he wrapped his arms around you, tight and firm.

You got the box closed just in time to keep his pressing from spilling the food, "I take it that's a positive response?"

"It would be stupid of me to say no," he spoke into your hair while his hands rubbed into your sides.

With his chin untucked from your head, you peered up as he leaned in for a kiss. Butterflies were still frequent, though they laid forgotten when you spotted green against pearly white.

He expected your lips on his mouth, not your thumb, picking at leftover spinach from the morning. The butterflies were well and alive in his chest. ---------------------------------------------- Your muscles ached wonderfully as you stretched out in bed. You knew you needed to get up and get going for the day soon, you had things to get done.

Waiting for Katsuki to be done in the bathroom was just taking way too long. You could feel the sog in your panties from your night-time pad. Nasty.

So off you rolled from the bed, shuddering when your bare feet touched the cold floor.

"Katsukiiiiii," you called through the bathroom door.

All it garnered was a grunt.

"Are you gonna be much longer?"

"Go back to bed!"

That was definitely a yes.

"No, I'm coming in. I have shit to do," you fussed as you opened the door. Neither of you had bothered locking the door in ages.

"So do I!" He huffed at you from the toilet.

You wheezed slightly when the brick wall of stink hit you. Goddamn his love for bowel ruining food.

He glared up at your wrinkled nose as you leaned over him to the cabinet above, tugging a pad out, "Explosive sweat, explosive attitude, explosively rank farts. A triple threat."

You squirmed when he took to nipping at your exposed belly, "Shut up."

He quit when you whacked him in the head with the pad, "Brat."

He didn't bat an eye when you stripped off your panties to free and roll up the used pad, stuffing it into the trashcan beside the toilet.

He did however rip another deafening fart with a smug grin.

You only half-mocked the gag you let out, deciding to grab your toothbrush and paste with your panties still around your thighs.

"Fuck you I'm gonna use the kitchen sink."

"Told you to wait."

"I'm gonna spit in your favorite mug." ----------------------------------------------- Candlelight danced against the walls, rolling in just the same as how your lover's hips did with yours.

The scent of them was a bit overwhelming, Izuku having dug into your stockpile and grabbing a bunch of random types.

Still, with your nose buried in his neck, most of it was drowned out.

You bit and moaned into his skin as the tip of his cock ground against your sweet spot, "God- yes! Right-Right there, Izzz-Izuku!"

He leaned back enough to lick into your panting mouth, clearly just as lost in the pleasure.

Your nails carved into his back, toes curling, as you came on his fat dick. And he didn't stop, chasing his own release while the flutters and pulses were still strong around him.

So, you were very caught off guard when a lustful groan broke into a screaming sneeze.

Usually, it was his face getting splashed on during sex.

"O-Oh my god I'm so sorry!" His hips abandoned their assault while he took the sheet to quickly wipe your face. You tried to ignore the snot trail on his nose.

So were the risks of mixing candles. ----------------------------------------------- It wasn't terrible often that you got to top. Denki was usually too restless to just lie back and take you like he should, even when he wanted to!

But tonight he moaned and keened for you so sweetly, legs spread wide and hips twitching off the bed with each suck to his taint.

"Yes, yesyesyes, god yes! Right there!"

Your fingers were a bit sidetracked, their objective to simply spread the lube and stretch Denki out forgotten once they'd found his prostate.

You let your fingers grind into that spot until Denki was fucking himself back on them. Oh, how he whined when you took them out, the pleasure leaving with them.

You gave the back of his thigh a slap, lifting it as you nudged the tip of your strap against his slick asshole.

He sighed happily when you slid it in, but you only made it a few inches before your warmup thrusting was interrupted.

His moans cut out suddenly and his eyes were wide. You were sure it must have hurt when he scrambled up off your cock and bolted off the bed toward the bathroom.

"NOT NOW, NOT NOW GODDAMMIT!"

You caught onto the issue and belted out laughing, "You didn't go beforehand?!" ----------------------------------------------- These weren't exactly the sighs of pleasure Hanta expected to hear tonight, but they were pleasant all the same.

It was a lover's duty to love and care for one another, and one he was happy to perform.

"God, yes, Hanta. Right there."

When the vaginal cream appliques proved too short for his sweetheart's vagina, his dexterous and long fingers were the perfect thing to assist.

"Feel better, babe?" He asked softly.

You hummed approval, already feeling relief from the damn surge of yeast, even more so when he pressed a soft kiss to your temple before he went to go clean off his hands. ----------------------------------------------------- It felt like Eijiro's cock was in your throat with the way he had you bent. Knees up so far and hips off the bed while his thick cock stretched you so deliciously.

His breath was hot on your neck, panting and groaning against you with each hungry clench your pussy gave around him.

You were giving him similar treatment, cracked moans of pleasure each time his pelvis brushed and pressed to your clit.

You could tell he was peaking, thrusts getting spastic and hurried, so you egged him on, crying his name in his ear and digging your nails into his back.

He was so close, you were sure.

You weren't quite as sure after another thrust shoved a belch out of you and into his ear.

He was snorting and laughing as he came. -------------------------------------------------- It'd been a bit since Izuku was willing to be atop you.

The swell of your belly either simply getting in the way, or his worry of accidentally pressing against it too much doing the same.

But with you laid down in the bed, Izuku's hips moving slowly above you while he dented the bedframe with his grip, you found it was a wonderful compromise.

You'd missed his cock, finding that with your positions limited, it'd been hard to get him as deep into you as you'd have liked. Especially for oral. The height wrong to simply sit on the bed and let him stand, your stomach being an issue for laying down, and you just couldn't kneel for long anymore without pain.

So finally having the weight of his dick in your throat, the taste of his skin heavy on your tongue, was a blessing.

He was still being so gentle, keeping his thrusts smooth and his eyes glued to your expression, a hand tangled in your hair. Even so, your hands were pinned to his ass, nails leaving crescents beside the freckles.

Another moan around him was all he needed to chase his peak, cock twitching as he fucked his cum into your throat a bit faster.

The next few seconds were too dizzying to be anything more than a blur.

The taste of his cum was never great; it was cum after all. But it'd always been on the better side and had the bonus of it being his. Plus, you were kind of a cumslut.

And yet, you yanked off of his cock in a blink, leaning around his thigh to the trashcan beside the nightstand, cum and some of dinner coming violently from your mouth.

Izuku panicked, climbing off you and rubbing your back as you coughed, "[N-Name], are you okay?"

He reached past you to pull the tissues closer, bringing one to your leaking nose, "I haven't forgotten to eat the fruit..."

You let him wipe your snot and misdirected vomit, "It's not that, baby..."

Apparently, you had to add spunk to the list of things your body rejected during pregnancy. ----------------------------------------------------- It was almost a quiet evening.

A satisfying dinner, and love-making a bit later even more so.

Neito had a glass of water in one hand, a book in the other, smiling contentedly as you scrolled your phone and laid your head on his lap.

The way your fingers combed through his soft curls almost made him want to go again, and he thought nothing of it when your phone fell out of view.

After a few tugs at the carpet and the distinct sensation of your hand on his dick, he moved the book aside to actually look at what you were doing.

"Uh...love?"

You snickered, gently placing another fallen out pube on the tip of his cock, "Look babe, it's got a toupee!" ---------------------------------------------------- You were so cozy. It was a sunday morning, and for once Tetsu wasn't rushing off to work, or an emergency call, or to go train at the gym.

It was just you, him, and the sleep-warmed bed.

It was so quiet and calm, you didn't quite want to even roll over into your lover's arms, lest it disturb the peace and summon something to ruin the day.

At the sound of Tetsu's phone going off, you damned your thoughts for drawing the attention of the universe.

He shifted sleepily, a deep breath against your hair as he reached for his phone. You pressed back against him a bit insistently, holding his free arm tight against you with an unquiet whine.

But, instead of a groggy and admittedly pleasant sleep-roughed greeting to whoever was on the phone, you were met with silence, and his arm coming to rest back over you.

"You're not gonna answer?"

Tetsu turned toward you, rolling that gruff voice that you loved into your ear, "It'd be shameful to spoil our time like that."

His nose brushed up over your ear and at last you let yourself turn in his grasp to tangle into him properly.

"Aww, babe," You cooed.

His hair was messy, his eyes half closed and clearly ready to go back to sleep, but you couldn't help a kiss, just one to settle yourself.

The texture and warmth did just that, though the heavy smell of dry mouth and iron kind of ruined it.

At your wrinkled nose and retreat from the kiss, Tetsu huffed, "That bad?"

"Like a dying car."

"Now that's just rude," He snorted. "Guess I'll just have to do something else."

With his pearly daggers looming over you, suddenly it wasn't his bad breath you worried about. ----------------------------------------------------- Denki had been looking oddly smug all day. Since the moment he woke up, till the moment he was shucking his clothes for bed.

"Y'know, you really did me in last night."

You looked up from where you had your phone balanced on your breast, "Yeah?"

He kicked his briefs across the floor, climbing in with you to lay on his belly, "Yeaaah. My assholes been sensitive all day. If I sit wrong, I can feel it."

You snort, "Is that why you were wiggling around all damn day?"

He just gave you a sly grin, utterly pleased as he shifted his bare hips around on the sheets.

You roll your eyes fondly and lean in to play his game, bringing a hand down on his ass-cheek loudly and going in for a kiss.

"Been thinkin' about that ache all day, honey? Just couldn't get my cock out of your head?" You tease, both by word and by the fingers brushing over the swell of his ass. You tug a cheek open and let it snap back against the other.

Denki groans softly, wagging his ass against your touch.

You coo a bit of praise and lust into his ear while you slip a finger between his cheeks, running them over his well-loved hole.

"...Denki, pull your butt open for me?"

With a smile he obeys, not picking up on your less than lustful expression.

After a bit of shuffling, you click your tongue, "Yeah, that ache you kept feeling, hon?"

He hummed in acknowledgement, though it cut off into a yelp when he felt a pinch near very sensitive skin.

"Yeah, it was a zit." --------------------------------------------------- Sometimes you amused yourself with the idea that your husband's hair was made specifically for you. For your hands to grip and tug at the perfectly tall and available peaks.

But that thought is as fleeting and light as Katsuki's tongue on your clit.

It would surely be easier for him if he'd just use a hand to part you, but he really did seem to prefer merely bullying his mouth between your folds and keeping his hands pinned under your ass, rolling the flesh in his rough palms. Each time he slipped out, your slick pussy making it hard to keep inside, he'd suck noisily to each labium before diving back inside.

As soon as he took his tongue from your hole, you were using his hair like reigns to grind yourself on his tongue. Lips, nose, chin- it was all fair game when he let you use him like this.

You earned a sharp smack to your arched ass when you ground a bit too much on his nose, sure he'd be snorting your arousal for at least a good hour.

Regardless, he tucked his nose back against your clit, tongue finding its way back in to thrust quick and heavy in your entrance.

It would be your love's undoing, as another grip to your ass spurned your guts to release air.

A rolling fart, as well, one that would often leave you shifting uncomfortably for a good while as you tried to press the air bubbles out.

Instead, it slipped right into your lover's face.

He recoiled fast, coughing and wiping his face as if the smell and butt particles would merely wipe away.

An apology was on the tip of your tongue, until you remembered last week's interruption in the bathroom.

"VENGEANCE IS MINE!"

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lozza342 · 5 years ago

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Words: 2,939

Iwaizumi x Kindaichi x Kyoutani

Warnings: Implied Homophobia, Implied Abuse, Self Harm. It’s mostly two senpais coddling their kouhai.

Iwaizumi had a… following. He sort of felt like a mother duck, a line of little ducklings following him in mostly a cute line, wagging their tail feathers and trying to keep up. Two occasionally fell behind, laziness and curiosity their biggest factors. Another two would peck at each other behind his back, scrap when he wasn't looking. A fifth sailed along effortlessly behind him, enthusiastic, yet responsible and conscious of the others.

He honestly couldn't ask for better kouhai, even if they were sometimes a handful.

Kyoutani, when he first joined, was a real pain. It wasn't difficult to teach him a lesson, since apparently knowing there's someone he couldn't possibly challenge had him reeling. The once aggressive hitter was now somewhat docile, and even now as Iwaizumi watched, he was 'playing nice' with Watari and Kindaichi running block-follow drills. Without the board, as Oikawa had dared.

Honestly, it felt less like block-follow training and more like a two on one. Watari winced as he dug a blocked ball. The sheer speed and power of it didn't send it anywhere near the court, though. Iwaizumi grinned a little when Kindaichi whooped, hiding the pained expression he'd been wearing all day. It didn't razz Kyoutani, who by now was definitely fond of the middle blocker. If Iwaizumi was honest, he thought Kyoutani was teasing Kindaichi at first when he had said to him, “You're pretty powerful too, if you ever actually thought anything of yourself”, but since then he hadn't shown it to have been mean-spirited. In fact, the two talked more than Iwaizumi first thought, and Kyoutani seemed to always be there, close by, if Kindaichi seemed down.

Despite Kyoutani's 'resting bitch face' (name courtesy of Hanamaki), his presence was more of a reassuring thing than a bad.

Before Iwaizumi got caught slacking off, even though he could argue he was just checking up on things as vice, he turned to his own court and continued serving practise. The people he had been watching glanced over to watch him serve and he felt himself preening. As he turned to go for another ball, satisfied with the accuracy, he sent a quick, wide smile to them.

He missed the awed faces, but he knew they were there and that was enough to make him feel good. As the ace, he held a lot of responsibility and his kouhai, for the most part, made it well worth it.

Practise continued for another twenty minutes, but the last ten saw the three previously doing block-follow just resting. Kindaichi and Kyoutani sat next to each other on the bench while Watari knelt on the floor in front of Kindaichi, carefully undoing his hastily wrapped fingers.

"You're not very good at doing this, are you?" Watari joked, knowing all too well how difficult it is to do on your own. He was glad as a libero he tended not to need to. With his other hand, Kindaichi took a swig of water before wiping the sweat of his brow with his forearm. He chuckled warmly in response but didn't say anything.

"That's what you call a joke." Kyoutani clarified, not even looking in their direction. He was watching Iwaizumi finishing up his serves, elbow on his knee, head resting in his palm.

"I- I know that!" Kindaichi said, loud enough to garner attention from Iwaizumi and Kunimi (who probably wasn't appreciative of being disturbed from his nap a bench over), and Watari raised an eyebrow in concern.

Blushing, Kindaichi ducked his head like it would stop them looking, and mumbled an apology.

Soft, nimble fingers began wrapping his fingers properly, tight enough that they wouldn't cause him joint pains. "You can't really do it with one hand," Watari said with a nod, "so let one of us do it next time."

A nod and a thanks later and they began to pack up. Kindaichi ran off to wake Kunimi to mop the floor while Watari and Kyoutani set to taking down the net of their court.

"He thought I was serious?" Watari asked Kyoutani apprehensively. It seemed, as of late, Kyoutani had been a source of interesting information. For the most part, he was honest - sometimes almost painfully so - and that made him reliable. There were never any wishy-washy answers to questions.

Kyoutani nodded, walking toward Watari to fold the net. "It's not that he thinks you'd ever be horrible to him, if that's what you're thinking."

"Huh? Oh, no! I was just wondering…"

"It's just tape."

It was true enough, and the look in Kyoutani's eyes was obvious. He was ready to go home, and wasn't exactly in the mood for talking. Watari prided himself on being able to read people and yet Kindaichi seemed to be a tough one to crack sometimes.

Back in the changing room, the team were bustling. Despite his languidness, Kunimi was the first to change, promptly dipping out with a goodnight through a yawn. Kindaichi watched after him with a furrowed brow until he caught Kyoutani looking at him in his field of vision, then turned back to his locker to continue changing.

A personal rule of Kindaichi’s was to watch his locker while everyone changed. He was prone to getting excited, and he would never be able to continue volleyball if anyone ever found out. His personal weaknesses were arms and shoulders, of which were plenty. It made him a little slow, being careful not to provoke the flesh between his legs. It had a mind of its own, sometimes, and even just a whiff of-

Ah, Kyoutani's cologne.

Burning furiously, Kindaichi gave up on doing up his trousers and instead focused on his shirt, trying to focus on breathing through his mouth.

"...and did you see Kindaichi's blocking today?" Matsukawa's voice intentionally raised, cutting through Kindaichi's mind clouded with his predicament.

"You were right on point today, Kindaichi~!" Oikawa confirmed from the corner, head over his shoulder to look at him.

Kindaichi didn't turn to look, sheepishly dipping his head. "Th-Thanks." He said, gripping the hem of his shirt in fists.

"Even though Kyoutani kept blowing you away. It was just last week you were practically running away screaming!" Hanamaki snickered.

"Holding your ground well against Kyoutani gives me a lot of confidence. We got a good team." Iwaizumi said too close. Kindaichi jumped when an arm curved around his shoulders and he quickly crossed his hands over himself, hoping to all gods that it wasn't obvious what he was doing.

"Thanks… Iwaizumi-san."

Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump, all he could hear in his ears.

He could cry at how aroused he was. It wasn't normal to be that way. Sure, a cute girl gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, it would make sense, but… guys cologne, a heavy arm over his shoulder…

How did that equate?

Luckily, Iwaizumi just chuckled and moved back off, giving Kindaichi some breathing room.

Sucked to be him, because Kyoutani was looking directly at him and a heavy inhale of his scent was enough. He couldn't spend another minute in that room. Kindaichi felt awful, tucking his shirt in, doing his trousers up and bailing to the toilets.

Sat on the toilet seat, locked in, Kindaichi did nothing. Sat there, hands in fists on his trousers, inhaling the not-so-fresh air of the toilets. Was it obvious why he rushed out? Kyoutani was… watching him.

Oh god, what if Kyoutani knew?

Gritting his teeth, Kindaichi hiked his shoulders up, curled over himself in utter embarrassment and fear. They shook as he cried silently at the floor. For so long he had hidden it well. Not even Kunimi knew.

He didn't know how long he sat there, crying and afraid. There was no thought in his mind of going back to the club room.

"You can go home, Kyoutani. I'll wait for him." Iwaizumi said to the boy pacing at the door.

"Nah."

Iwaizumi snorted softly, standing up from his chair. Just the two of them now, Iwaizumi was confident in his words as he said, "You know what he's feeling right now, don't you?"

The wing spiker looked at him with a little surprise, apprehension creeping into his usually stoic face. "What do you mean?"

"I think I do." Iwaizumi chuckled, patting Kyoutani's shoulder. "If you get what I'm saying?"

"Think he needs help?"

The ace broke into a guffaw, Kyoutani struggling to keep himself from blushing. At the insinuation about Kindaichi, at the way Iwaizumi looked really handsome when he laughed.

"Shut up." Kyoutani grumbled, as if it would hide what he was really thinking.

"Y'know, I reckon he'd be done by now, don't you?"

Kyoutani huffed. "I'm gonna go find him." He said, striding to the door. Iwaizumi was glad because it meant that Kyoutani couldn't see him a little flushed from his own words as he followed behind.

The closest bathroom was a walk across the courtyard from the club rooms, just inside the side door to the main school building. It was popularly used by clubs, but at this time, pretty much the only people who used it were members of the volleyball club.

Gingerly, Kyoutani opened the door, unnecessarily cleared his throat to announce himself. "Kindaichi, you in here?"

"Hey, everyone's gone home. It's just us." Iwaizumi assured. No answer, but upon walking further in, one of the cubicles was very obviously locked. Kyoutani stood back while Iwaizumi rounded him to knock on the stall door. "We know you're in there, Kindaichi."

A shuffle of fabric was heard, but nothing else. Kyoutani grunted in frustration. "We'll kick the door down if you don't open up."

"As violent as ever." Iwaizumi chuckled, drumming fingers softly on the door.

"Go… Go away." Kindaichi answered, voice broken by hiccups. Both Kyoutani and Iwaizumi immediately stiffened, switching modes so easily.

"Kindaichi, what's wrong?" Iwaizumi asked, short, powerful. A question said in that tone usually ended in a quick but flustered answer from Kindaichi but again there was nothing.

The second-year stepped forward, hands in fists at his sides. He was angry at Kindaichi for running out after looking at him, like his weeks of progress trying to get closer to him was for nothing. Yet… his voice was soft as anything. "Kindaichi, why did you run out? It wasn't me, was it?"

A sob echoed in the toilets and the sturdy edge of the stall thudded, rattling outwards. "You-! You don't understand!" Kindaichi shouted, ringing in their ears. "It's not- you- it's never been-"

Breaths kept catching, each one following a harsh thud on the stall walls. Iwaizumi and Kyoutani stood in shock at the outbreak of violence. It was nothing like him, and they were both scared. Not for themselves, but for him.

"Then tell us!" Kyoutani shouted back. "Tell us and help us to understand!"

A defeated broken sob, open-mouthed, rattled both wing spikers. "You… would never- speak- again-"

No bashing came this time, but breaths still came out short and words kept cutting off. "Of course we will. You could- You could be the devil and I'd still speak to you... Kindaichi." Iwaizumi struggled saying, unshed tears in his vision. "As long as you'd speak to me."

Kyoutani bit his lip, watching Iwaizumi's composure slip a little.

"I… might as well be…"

"Bullshit." Kyoutani grunted. Letting the word echo for a moment. "I bet it's cause you're gay."

The entire bathroom went silent. Iwaizumi's tears fell from his eyes as he blinked, and Kyoutani grunted a laugh at the resounding affirmative.

"I knew it. Come out and stop being a baby. Of course we understand." Kyoutani said somewhere between firm and warm, and Iwaizumi looked at him somewhat in awe. He'd never been on the receiving side of that look before and it made his heart flutter. Iwaizumi was giving him that look, the same look Kyoutani had been giving Iwaizumi for months.

"What?" Kindaichi's hoarse question floated. Left both of his senpais grinning.

"I'm gay too, Kindaichi. There's nothing wrong with that, idiot." Iwaizumi said softly, leaning off the door as the lock clicked.

Kindaichi looked awful. His eyes were red, dark circles under them. He was still only half-dressed, shirt buttons out by one and barefoot. He was pale, too, and tear tracks stained his cheeks. Worst of all, the middle of his forehead was reddened, and his knuckles bleeding a little.

"Oh, Kindaichi, don't ever do that. Don't run out like that." Iwaizumi said tearfully, gaze grazing Kindaichi up and down. "You don't have to hide yourself away, not from us." Iwaizumi looked straight into Kindaichi's red eyes and tried to smile. "We're all gay, here."

Eyes glistening with tears flicked between the two of them uneasily and Kindaichi's stance slumped. "C'mon, spring onion, we're your senpais. Give us some credit."

Still a little shocked, Kindaichi bowed his head. "Th-Thanks."

Iwaizumi cupped his cheeks to pull his face back up to stand. "You're gonna stop that right now. Don't think anything we ever do needs thanks. What Kyoutani meant was, don't ever think any of us will ever think of you as anything less because of something out of your control. Got it?"

Wide-eyed, Kindaichi nodded. "Yes sir."

"Good." Iwaizumi said, moving his hands from Kindaichi's cheeks to his shoulders. "Don't you dare even think of yourself as anything less either."

"You're not alone, Kindaichi." Kyoutani said stiffly, trying to keep his face neutral. He felt useless, seeing Kindaichi so exhausted, so hurt. Kyoutani's bottom lip wobbled and he felt tears stinging the back of his eyes. "Not anymore." He kept his voice gruff, hiding any hurt beneath it, and Kindaichi's eyes hardened with that tiny little bit of determination Kyoutani wished he had sometimes.

Kindaichi was roughly pulled into a hug by Iwaizumi, arms around his neck to cause him to bend down a little awkwardly, his own hands staying where they were at his sides. Iwaizumi shot Kyoutani a look and the second-year moved reluctantly to join in, simply patting Kindaichi's back reassuringly. "Don't hurt yourself over it… 'cause it fucking hurts."

The twitch of lips was the perfect response, and even Iwaizumi chuckled as he pulled back.

"I… had no idea."

"It's OK. Hey, let's get some fresh air, go back to the clubroom, yeah?" Iwaizumi said softly, watching the way Kindaichi's hands still shook. "It's getting late."

Kindaichi's eyes widened a little and he stepped forward. "Ah! I'm sorry, senpais! I didn't mean to-! I should get-" As realisation passed over Kindaichi, he began panicking, eyes tearing up as he turned in a rush to leave.

Kyoutani grabbed his wrist, though, yanked him back. “We’re in no rush, Kindaichi. Don’t go running off again.” As teary, shocked eyes met his, Kyoutani tightened his grip. It was breaking his heart to see him struggling. He - and he was sure Iwaizumi, too - was fond of the kid. “Please?”

The sincerity was putting Kindaichi off, Kyoutani knew, but keeping his gaze didn't exactly give any room for him to refuse. Kindaichi didn't say anything, but his arm stopped tugging and his head dipped beneath his shoulders sheepishly.

"It's cold out, you should put on some shoes…" Kyoutani said, looking down at Kindaichi's very bare feet.

Iwaizumi moved forward to hang his jacket over Kindaichi's shoulders. "And a jacket. Can't have our best blocker getting sick."

"Exactly!" Kyoutani agreed, bending down to take off his shoes.

"S-Senpai, you don't have to do that… I'll be OK."

"It's that or we carry you." Iwaizumi proposed, arms held up like he was readying to pick him up.

At this point, Kindaichi was red hot, actually jumping back as Iwaizumi reached out. "No, I-"

Kyoutani hadn't stopped, loosening his laces before stepping out. He hoped he was forgiven for not taking his shoes off in the school building, but they had kinda been in a hurry.

"You didn't…"

"We were worried. The door's like… two feet away. Chill." Kyoutani said, placing his shoes in place in front of him. "They probably don't fit, but…"

"What… What are you going to wear, Kyoutani-san?"

"I got socks. I'm good." He reassured, wiggling his toes.

Kindaichi looked down at them briefly before tearing up again.

"Hey, my feet aren't that bad!"

It was an attempt at cheering him up, but all it did was make him sniffle. "S-Sorry, I wasn't- because of you- I-"

"He knows, Kindaichi." The ace stepped up to his back, curled the jacket further over his shaking shoulders. "Stop worrying. Kyoutani's thick-skinned."

The compliment could've been taken the wrong way, but Kyoutani knew Iwaizumi. He would never put anyone down to cheer someone up - well, unless it was Oikawa - and it just made him blush.

Coughing, Kyoutani knelt down next to Kindaichi because

one, he was fucking tired and wanted to go home.

Two, Kindaichi was never going to do it himself and

three, this way he could hide his face.

"Kyoutani-senpai-"

"Shut up, Kindaichi."

Kindaichi instantly bit his lip, let Kyoutani and Iwaizumi dote on him.

He still wasn't sure if they were joking just to cheer him up, but their faces weren't that of disgust or even apprehension. Even while Kindaichi still thought of all the reasons they were helping him, in the back of his mind he knew.

They had been through it before.

Maybe their families had hurt them, too.

Maybe he was lucky to have someone who understood him right now. Not just one but two. People who wanted to help so he wouldn't have to go through the same.

But really, they were saving each other.

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the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Romeo x Reader 13 +21

A/N This is a fic from my Wattpad Prompts list. It was a requested one-shot

Prompts:

13: “How did we get into this mess?”

21: “This isn’t like you.”

High School AU

TW: A bit of swearing

"Sit down. Shut up. No talking." Mr. Weisel said as he led you both into the classroom where detention was being held.

You sat next to each other, at separate desks, and propped your bags up against the legs of the tables, as Mr. Weisel made his way up to the teachers' desk at the front of the room to talk to Mr. Seitz.

"How long are these two here for?" He looked up from where he was leaning on the desk with his head resting on one of his hands.

"Two weeks after school." Mr. Weisel replied. He sighed and looked back at you disapprovingly.

He started to make his way out when he stopped in between your desks.

"I'm disappointed in you two." And with that, he left.

"A'right...you know the rules. No phones, no talking and no leaving." You put your hand up, but Mr. Seitz had anticipated what you were going to say. "If you need the toilet, hold it in, unless it's an emergency. Then you put your hand up and ask me. If you're bored, do homework or something..." He put his head in his hands again and stopped talking.

'And so the boredom begins...' You thought as you settled down.

Although after-school detention was only an hour, it felt like so much longer. You had been in after-school detention before, so this wasn't a new experience for you; but Romeo wasn't a frequent flyer in detention, so this was a newer - even more boring - experience for him.

After about 15 minutes, Mr. Setiz, the gym teacher and the teacher who took detention, fell asleep at his desk up at the front of the room. You had sat further down in your chair, folded your arms over your chest and leaned your head back to stare up at the ceiling.

You felt like you were going to win the staring contest with the spiders on the ceiling when Romeo leaned over the aisle and tapped you on the shoulder.

You sat back up and turned to look at him.

"Looks like Seitz is asleep at last..." You rolled your eyes with a slight smile.

"Yea..." You nodded slowly and checked your watch. "Wow! Record time! It usually takes him at least 20 minutes to fall asleep."

The room stayed silent, but for the slow breathing of the sleeping man and the footsteps of the janitors in the corridor behind you.

You had returned to your original position, but when you heard Romeo sigh deeply, you sat back up and unfolded your arms.

"Y'know, I've never been in after-school detention before..." He said wistfully. "I suppose you know what this is like though..." You nodded.

He opened his mouth like he was going to say something or ask a question, but when no sound came out, he closed it again. He looked like he was thinking something through very carefully, then his face twisted into a grimace.

"Are they gonna call my parents?" He asked after a while.

"Ok, first off, who's they?" You replied.

"The school..." He replied, slightly shakily. "Will they call my parents?"

You shrugged. "Dunno, maybe...Probably not for you, me yea." You paused, then seeing Romeo's worried - and slightly sad - expression. "Hey, don't worry Ro, this is your first after-school detention, right?" He nodded slowly. "You'll be fine. But it would be a good idea if you told your parents about it first, just in case the school does decide to call home. Trust me, I learned the hard way..." You trailed off and turned back to the front.

You both sighed in unison as you stared straight ahead.

Then Romeo turned back to you. "How'd we get into this mess?" He asked.

"I seem to remember Racer daring us to sneak into the principal's office and steal the biggest trophy." You replied dryly, still facing the front.

"Oh, yea...”

You both signed again and you cast your mind back to earlier that day.

~ Earlier that day - Lunch break ~

"C' mon Ro. Truth or dare?" Race asked, with a shit-eating grin on his face; that meant he had a chaotic evil idea in his head, and it almost never turned out well for the victim...

You, Romeo and Race were sitting at your usual lunch table, along with Jack, Crutchie, Davey, Mush, and Blink. You, as a group, had pushed the next table along together with yours, to make a super long table where all of the newsie friendship group could sit together.

It had become a tradition that all of you would have a gigantic game of Truth or Dare every lunch, and at that moment, it was Race's turn to ask.

"Truth or dare?" He asked again. Romeo carefully considered the options. He didn't really want to answer whatever question Race had thought up for him, but then again, the dares could get him into trouble.

"C'mon Ro! 3...2...1..." Race counted down and he was forced to choose something quickly.

"Dare!" He blurted out. Race's mischievous grin somehow got wider.

"Ok...I, Racetrack Higgins, dare you to sneak into the Principal's office and steal the biggest trophy from the cabinet behind his desk. Then bring it outside to the benches in the square where we usually hang out."

"That's a really bad idea Race! My father will be really mad if he gets caught!" Kath stood up and glared at Race. Her father, Mr. Pulitzer, was the Principal at the Manhattan High School where all the newsies went, and he was never in a good mood.

Romeo's eyes widened in shock and he blinked very obviously several times.

"No. That'll get me into huge trouble if I get caught!" He was regretting saying dare.

"I'll do it with you." All eyes turned to you as you spoke, and you saw Kath roll her eyes as she sat down again. "I'll do it with you, and if we get caught, I'll say I told you to. That way, you won't get in as much trouble." Romeo turned to you, looking slightly relieved.

"Thanks. I'll do it." You both stood up. "Let's go." You smiled as the rest of the newsies watched you left the cafeteria.

Five minutes later, and you were sneaking down the strangely empty corridor. You approached Mr. Pulitzer's office and peeked inside.

"Is he in there?" Romeo whispered behind you and tugged your sleeve.

"No. Let's get this trophy and bolt." You tried the door handle and it was, surprisingly, unlocked. You turned your head around to glance at Romeo, you went in and he followed closely behind you.

His office was quite big, with a few chairs sat in front of his neat desk, with a glass cabinet stretched across the whole wall behind the desk; and there, right in the middle, was the trophy you had come to steal.

You both walked around opposite sides of the desk and you began searching for the key to the cabinet.

"Found it?" Romeo asked, hurriedly.

"Got it!" You answered a few seconds later, picking up a small, metal key up off the desk. You both examined it for a few seconds before you slotted it into the lock and turned it, hoping it was the right key.

A few soft clicks later, and the cabinet's glass panel door released so it was open a few centimetres. You pried it the rest of the way open and Romeo reached in a lifted the heavy trophy off the shelf.

"Right...let's get outta here." He said. Then, out of nowhere, you heard two sets of footsteps; one heavy and commanding, the other quick and hurried.

"Someone's coming!" Romeo exclaimed.

"Give it here!" You said, snatching the trophy out of his hands. To him, you seemed quite rude, but to you, it ensured that he didn't get all the blame and didn't get into as much trouble.

You had promised to take the blame, Romeo was also having a bit of a hard time, but he'd only told you about it and you thought it was your duty, as his best friend, to protect him, care for him, and be his common sense filter - although most of the time, he ended up being your common sense filter.

Just as you took the trophy, the office door opened and the imposing figure of Mr. Pulitzer stood framed in the doorway, with Miss Bunsen cowering slightly behind him. She must've heard what they were doing and got the headmaster...

"What on earth do you think you're doing in my office? And what are doing with that trophy?"

"I believe they broke in to steal it, Mr. Pulitzer." Miss Bunsen said.

"Well...What do you say for yourselves? Hmm?" All that time, both of you had stayed silent, but when it was your time to talk, you stepped forward before Romeo could get a word in sideways...

"It was me. I told Romeo to come in here and steal it, but I knew he wouldn't be able to...so...I came...and did it...instead..." You trailed off the end of your sentence because the imposing man in front of you, looked like he was either going to murder someone or explode.

You stepped back again and cast your eyes downwards. You glanced over at Romeo, where he was staring at the floor. He looked like he'd seen a ghost, he was so scared...

The headmaster strode forwards and grabbed the trophy out of your hands. He walked around his desk, put it back in the cabinet, locked it and placed the key back down on his desk.

He then turned to face you. "Sit down." He said as he sat down in the chair behind the desk.

You both sat down in the chair in front of him and he started talking.

"I've got to say I'm angry and disappointed in you both. Especially you, Romeo, this isn't like you and I really expected more." He sighed. "Do you know how much trouble you both are in? Breaking into a teacher's office is serious." He raised his eyebrows like he was expecting an answer.

"The door was unlocked..." You said.

"Do not talk back to me!" He nearly shouted. Romeo nearly jumped out his skin at the sudden loud noise.

"You fucking asked!" You thought as you fell silent.

"I'm giving you both after-school detention for the next two weeks and I'm considering calling your parents to tell them what you have done. Now leave and get to class." As he finished talking, the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch break and the start of 4th period.

You stood up in unison and left in silence.

"I'm sorry (Y/N)."

"Hey...why are you apologising?" You asked as you both walked through the crowds of teenagers, some stuffing their lockers, some standing around chatting, and some running to a class they're late for.

"For dragging you into this..." He murmured.

"Hey...It's alright Ro..." You stopped, wrapped your arm around his shoulders and gave him a hug to show you weren't mad at him.

"I chose to come with you, and I did promise to take the fall if we got caught. Everything'll be fine. After school detention isn't that bad. It's really boring at the worst." He shrugged and left you in the corridor.

~ Back in detention ~

"Oh yea...that's how..." He said, turning to face the front. Then he turned back to you. "Sorry if you thought I was mad at you. It's just...I've never been given after-school detention before...and, yea...I just...yea..." He trailed off and you both sighed.

"Hey...it's fine...seriously." He nodded and smiled slightly.

"Cool..."

Suddenly, an alarm sounded and Mr Weisel's head snapped up off the desk, from where he was sleeping.

"No talking. You've got 10 minutes left, then you can go home." You both turned to each other at the same time.

"Woah...we've been talking for ages!" You whispered. Romeo nodded and smiled with his eyebrows raised in surprise.

The next 10 minutes flew by and before you knew it, you were strolling out of school and into the car park.

"Hey, do you need a lift home? Specs has already gone." You asked.

"Yes please! I do not want to be stuck here!" He had clearly cheered up.

You both laughed and got into your small, silver car.

It took a good 15 minutes to drive to Romeo's house, and in all that time, neither of you talked. Not in an awkward way, it was just like...nothing needed to be said.

You pulled into Romeo's driveway and unlocked the car.

"There you go."

"Thanks for the lift (Y/N)." He got out of the car and began walking up to his front door.

"Any time, Ro! See you tomorrow!" You called out after him.

Once he was safe inside, you whipped out your phone and texted Race.

You dickhead! :')

wdym?

"Oh yea...Race went home early...he doesn't know..." You thought.

nm tell u tomorrow

k cya then

oh wait how did the dare go?

tell you tomorrow

You reversed out the driveway and put some music on, as you drove another 10 minutes, back to your own house.

"Race is gonna love it when he finds out tomorrow..." You thought and laughed to yourself.

Thanks for driving me home btw

That's alright Ro any time cya tomorrow

A/N Welp, there you go! Check me out on Wattpad @/Gingers_Fanfics

#newsies fic #newsies #newsies romeo #romeo newsies #wattpad #newsie x reader #hugh school au

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slushietm · 6 years ago

Note

"y'know. it keeps me up at night, sometimes. the fact that you didn't tell me about the drain-o, like- were you ready to let me carry that shit for the rest of my life? were you absolutely prepared to let me believe i fucking murdered somebody, put all the guilt on me? what would've happened if i wasn't okay with it all? did you bother to think about how you would've fuckin' broken me? for good, forever? believing it was my fault- i would've been the next one to fucking die, jason."

MEME . ╰ 💣 ╮ ACCEPTING !

HALLUCINATIONS ARE NOTHING NEW TO YOU ! it’s your punishment , you concluded a long time ago , for letting your mother DIE . it was your fault , and the least you deserve is hearing your mom’s voice , taunting you , blaming you . but you never expected veronica’s voice to be next . she’s sitting there , right in front of you , criss crossed on your bed , a dead look in her eyes . i would’ve been the next one to fucking die , jason . she’s quiet , almost sad , but it feels like she’s screaming at you . OH , NO . WHAT HAVE I DONE , WHAT HAVE I DONE , WHAT HAVE I DONE , WHAT HAVE I DONE ––––

PANIC ATTACKS ARE NOTHING NEW TO YOU ! there’s a constriction in your chest , cutting off oxygen to your lungs , different from the sort of chest pain you get from wearing your binder for a little too long , and you need to get out of that room before you start to suffocate . you’re stumbling out of your bedroom , seeing your hamster ( slushie , a gift from the girl you’re trying to run away from ) perk it’s little head up , but you’re too focused on getting out of that room . the living room is a no go –––– dad’s downstairs , drinking like a monster , which leaves you the bathroom across the hall . you shut the door behind you as quietly as you can .

THROWING UP IS NOTHING NEW TO YOU ! you’re kneeled over the toilet , hands gripping the edge , emptying the contents of your stomach , not like there was much to be digested in the first place –––– you don’t ever eat the school lunches , too expensive , and you don’t have the time to make your own lunch in the mornings . all that’s coming up is pure bile and choked back sobs . once you physically can’t throw anything else up , and the dry heaves have passed , you move away from the toilet and lean against the edge of the tub . your sight is fuzzy , eyes glazed over , but as you shift your gaze towards the cabinet under the sink , you freeze . you know what’s under there . you haven’t used it since before moving to sherwood . you haven’t had a need to , but ––––

LONG STORY SHORT , none of these things are new to you . not the hallucinations , not the panic attacks , not the throwing up . none if it . not even sitting in the bathtub , still fully dressed , boiling hot water washing away the red that’s spilling from your wrist . the boxcutter is sitting on the edge of the tub , evidence of what it just did , what you just did , still present on it . salt water lands on your cheeks , but it’s not coming from the shower head above . you sit in the tub , fingers beginning to look like prunes , whispering a chorus of i’m sorry veronica , i’m sorry veronica , i’m sorry veronica , i’m sorry veronica , like a prayer that will somehow have you marked for salvation , but you don’t leave until you hear your dad bang on the door , yelling at you , a loud GOD DAMNIT , JASON , DON’T WASTE THE FUCKING WATER ! by the time you walk back into your bedroom , the hallucination is gone , but you don’t feel any better about it .

YOU SHOW UP TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY , wrist wrapped up and covered by the sleeve of your jacket . you see her , grabbing books from her locker . she doesn’t see you , though , and you don’t know if you want to approach her yet or wait until when you see her at lunch . you run out of time to decide , because she turns her head at that instant , eyes locking with yours , and her smile lights up the fucking hallway . your feet start moving , without you telling them to , and you’re in front of her within seconds .

THE WAY YOU KISS HER IS NEW . backed against her now closed locker , fingers gripping onto her waist with everything you have . it’s not a rough kiss , per say , but it’s not gentle , either . you’re giving her everything you have , pouring your soul into her kiss . and you just hope to god that she doesn’t realize that this kiss isn’t a hello , i missed you –––– it’s an apology for things you could never say .

#bluetm #self harm /#emetophobia /#hallucinations /#ANSWERS . ╰ 💣 ╮ STUPIDEST QUESTION I’VE EVER HEARD !#REPLIES . ╰ 💣 ╮ WISH YOU’D KISS ME !#IN CHARACTER . ╰ 💣 ╮ YOU’RE BETTER OFF DEAD !#BLUETM . ╰ 💣 ╮ YOU’RE TOO PRETTY FOR ME !#MAIN . ╰ 💣 ╮ OUR WAY IS THE WAY !#ARC THREE . ╰ 💣 ╮ FUCK IT IF SHE CAN’T TAKE A JOKE SARGE !#long post /#GOD i'm sad

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shou7 · 8 years ago

Text

Translation: I Want to Eat Your Pancreas by Yoru Sumino (Chapter 5)

Synopsis

One day, I - a high schooler - found a paperback in the hospital. The “Disease Coexistence Journal” was its title. It was a diary that my classmate, Sakura Yamauchi, had written in secret. Inside, it was written that due to her pancreatic disease, her days were numbered. And thus, I coincidentally went from Just-a-Classmate to a Secret-Knowing-Classmate. It was as if I were being drawn to her, who was my polar opposite. However, the world presented the girl that was already suffering from an illness with an equally cruel reality…

The best-selling, award-winning debut work by Yoru Sumino: “Bestsellers 2016 (Overall) by NIPPAN” - 4th Place “Bestsellers 2016 (Paperback Fiction) by NIPPAN” - 1st Place “Bestsellers 2016 (Overall) by TOHAN” - 5th Place “Bestsellers 2016 (Literary Books) by TOHAN” - 1st Place “Bookstore Grand Prix 2016” - 2nd Place “DA VINCI BOOK OF THE YEAR 2015” - 2nd Place “Bestsellers 2015 (Literary Books) by TOHAN” - 6th Place As of January 2017, this book has sold over 720,000 copies.

Please buy the book to support the author. (amazon.com)

Download the complete volume in PDF format here, or in ePUB format here.

(Chapter Index)

It had been a chain of unusual events since the morning began.

Firstly, my indoor shoes had gone missing just like I had mentioned, but it didn’t stop there.

As per normal, I’d arrived at school and opened my shoe lockers to retrieve my indoor shoes - it happened at the same time I whispered in my heart, “Huh, where did it go?”

“Good morning……”

I was called out to. Apart from that girl, there was no one in my class that would greet me, but since the tension in her voice was so low, I turned around thinking that perhaps her pancreas had broken down, and was met with a surprise.

It was the girl’s Best-Friend-san giving me a look of overt hostility.

I was trembling, but even I, who wasn’t well-versed in social interaction, knew that it would’ve been rude not to reply, and so responded with a reserved “good morning”. She stared me in the eye, gave me a dismissive grunt, and proceeded to change her shoes. But since my shoes were missing, I stood still, not knowing what to do.

While wondering if Best-Friend-san, who had put on her indoor shoes, was going to leave just like that, she looked me in the eyes one more time, and grunted once again. I didn’t get upset. It wasn’t that I necessarily had masochistic interests. It was because I could see the hesitation in her eyes. She must have been unable to decide how to interact with me.

In any case, even if she did carry any hostility, I wanted to express my respect for the girl who had greeted me. If it were me, I would have definitely waited for her to leave the shoe lockers before changing shoes.

I tried looking around the shoe lockers but I couldn’t find my indoor shoes. Expecting that someone had put them on by accident, and would probably return them sooner or later, I headed for my classroom, still wearing my outdoor shoes.

When I entered the classroom, I felt rude gazes from multiple directions, but I ignored them. Maybe they had expected us to come in together, but from the very beginning, I had never bothered to move around with the girl. She hadn’t arrived yet.

I sat myself down on my own seat at the very back, and placed the items I needed from the school-designated bag onto my desk. Our test papers were being returned today, so all I needed were my question papers. In addition, I placed my pencil case and paperback in the space below the desk.

While I was looking through the questions from the tests the other day and thinking about the whereabouts of my indoor shoes, there was a sudden commotion in the classroom. Wondering what had happened, I looked up and saw the girl enter the classroom from the front door, seemingly in a good mood. A number of classmates kicked up a fuss as they greeted her, enclosing her within a circle. Best-Friend-san didn’t enter the circle. She made a troubled face as she looked on at the girl that was caught up in the circle. And then, she took a glance in my direction. Since I had been looking at Best-Friend-san, I immediately averted my eyes.

My attention quickly drifted from the whispers and murmurs of the classmates that had surrounded her. It was because I thought that if it didn’t involve me, it wouldn’t have mattered to me, and if it did involve me, it wouldn’t have been worth bothering with.

I opened my paperback, and took off into the world of literature. The power of concentration I derived from my love of books wouldn’t lose to the noise.

Or so I thought, but I found out that no matter how much I loved books, I would still be dragged out of the world of books if I was spoken to.

The two of us normally didn’t speak to each other at all, so I was surprised. I lifted my head, and in front of me stood a boy who’d demonstrated potential for group cleaning activities. As usual, he was - to put it in a bad way - smiling thoughtlessly.

“Yo, Hot-Topic-Classmate. Erm. Hey, why did ya throw away your indoor shoes?”

“……Huh?”

“I mean didn’t ya did throw them into the toilet trash can? Even though they still look wearable, why? Did you step on dog poop or something?”

“If there was dog poop inside the school, that would be the problem here. But, I see, thanks. It was missing and I was troubled about it.”

“Oh? Alright then, be more careful. Want some gum?”

“No thanks. I’m going out for a bit to collect it.”

“Ah, one more thing, where did ya go with Yamauchi? It’s become another hot topic y'know.”

Thanks to the commotion in the classroom, the seats around us had been vacated, and so, no one else but me heard his straightforward question.

“As I thought, are you guys going out?”

“Nope. We just happened to meet at the station. Wonder who saw us.”

“Hmm, I see. Well if anything interesting happens, let me know!”

While chewing on gum, he returned to his own seat. Though it could probably be said that he was a simple person, I thought of that nature of his as exceedingly kind.

I stood up from my seat, went to the toilet closest to the classroom, and indeed, my indoor shoes were in the trash can. Luckily, there wasn’t any garbage in the trash can that dirtied the shoes, so I put on them on and quietly returned to the classroom. When I entered the room, the atmosphere quietened down for a moment before it got restless again.

Classes ended without any incident. I managed to do okay on the tests I got back. In the front, the girl was making merry over the results with Best-Friend-san, and for a moment, our eyes met. Without any sort of reservation, she showed me her test papers. I couldn’t make them out clearly from afar, but there seemed to be many ticks. Best-Friend-san noticed the girl’s actions and made a troubled expression, so I looked away from her. Beyond that, I didn’t receive any more contact from her that day.

I didn’t make any conversation with her the next day either. If I had to say what happened between me and my classmates, I got glared at by Best-Friend-san once again, and was offered gum by the aforementioned boy. Other than that, there was a personal problem - the pencil case I had bought in a hundred-yen-shop had gone missing.

The opportunity to talk with her for the first time in a few days came on the last day of school before summer vacation. But even if it was called summer vacation, from the next day onwards, we would have two weeks of supplementary lessons, so today sort of lacked meaning as an ending. That day, we should have gone home right after just the closing ceremony and an administrative brief in class, but I had been asked to help with some after-school work by the teacher in charge of the library. Of course, I was supposed to get the girl - who was also a library committee member - to come along too.

On this rainy Wednesday, for the first time inside the classroom, I was the one to initiate a conversation with her. While she was erasing the blackboard as part of her cleaning duties for the day, I informed her about what we had to do. I could tell that there were a number of gazes directed at us who were at the front of the classroom, but even so, I just ignored them. As for her, she looked like she never minded to begin with.

After school, she said that she was going to lock up the classroom, so I had lunch in the cafeteria on my own first before heading over to the library. Since it was the day of the closing ceremony, there were fewer students than usual in the library.

Our task was to man the counter while the library’s teacher-in-charge was out attending a meeting. After Sensei had left the library, I was sitting at the counter reading when two classmates came over to borrow some books. Seemingly disinterested in me, the docile girl asked, “Where’s Sakura?” With the same gentle expression and tone that I always saw him use in class, the boy who served as the class representative also asked “Where’s Yamauchi-san?” To the two of them, I replied that she was probably in the classroom.

That girl arrived shortly afterwards. As usual, she was wearing a smile that didn’t match the weather.

“Yoo-hoo, were you lonely without me?”

“So there are people that say yoo-hoo outside of the mountains, huh. Did you think that there’d be an echo or something? By the way, there were some classmates looking for you.”

“Who?”

“Well I’m not really clear on their names. One was a docile girl, and the other was a boy from the class committee.”

“Ah, I see, okay okay.”

While she said that, she lowered herself with great force onto the swivel chair inside the counter. Its creaking screams resounded throughout the quiet library.

“The chair is crying, you know.”

“Do you think it’s alright to say that to a maiden?”

“I don’t think you’re a maiden though.”

“Ehehehehe, is it really alright to say that? Yesterday, I received a love confession from a boy.”

“…………Huh? What’s with that?”

In response to that unexpected event, I was honestly surprised.

Probably satisfied looking at my reaction, she raised the edges of her lips to their limits, and creased the gap between her eyebrows. It was an expression that got on my nerves.

“I got called out after school yesterday, and was confessed to.”

“If that’s true, is it really fine for you to tell me?”

“As for who it was, it’s a shame but, that’s a secret, so - Miffy-chan.”

She made a cross on her lips with both her index fingers.

“Could it be that you’re one of those people that think the cross on Miffy-chan is a mouth? It’s actually split through the middle - the top is the nose and the bottom is the mouth.”

“You’re kidding!”

While I was explaining with a drawing, she cried out with an endlessly troubling loud voice inside the library. Seeing her eyes and mouth opening wide, I was satisfied. The battle for revenge from the dialect trivia had come to an end.

“Wow, I was like, super surprised. It felt like all seventeen years of my life had been a lie. Well never mind that, I got confessed to.”

“Ah, we’re back to that topic. And so?”

“Yeah, I said sorry to him. Why do you think is that?”

“Who knows.”

“Not telling yo~u.”

“Then let me tell you something - when someone says something like ‘who knows’ and ‘hmmm’, it means that that person isn’t very interested in your question. And now, didn’t I say ‘who knows’ or something somewhere along the way?”

It seemed like she wanted to make a rebuttal, but someone had come to borrow a book, so those words were never said. After seriously handling the work at the counter, she changed the topic.

“Oh right, since we can’t play outside on a rainy day like this, you’ll just have to come over to my house today - it’s fine, right?”

“Your house is in the opposite direction from my house so I don’t want to.”

“Don’t turn me down normally with a normal reason! Then it’ll look like you really don’t want to be invited!”

“How vexing, it’s as if you think I don’t mind at all.”

“What- Well it’s not like it matters, you say that sort of thing, but in the end, you’ll still go out to play with me.”

Well, that was probably true. If I was given a proper reason, threatened, or presented with a just cause, I’d end up going along with her invitation. I was a reed boat, unable to go against the flow even if I was presented with a way out – there was no other reason than that.

“Just listen to what I have to say for now. If you listen, then you may even obediently come over to my house.”

“I wonder if you’ll be able to breakthrough my will that’s harder than Fruiche.”

“That means it’s just syrupy though. But Fruiche makes you nostalgic huh, I haven’t eaten it in a while - I should go buy it next time. When I was in elementary school, my mom would make it for me all the time. I love the strawberry one.”

“Hmm, the flow of your thoughts is just like yoghurt too, huh. Seems like it’ll mix quite well with my will.”

“Oho, want to try mixing it?”

She loosened the ribbon of her summer uniform, and undid a button - she must have been feeling hot. Or maybe she was just a fool. Hmm, probably the latter.

“Don’t look at me with such judgemental eyes. Well then, I’m going to get back on-topic - so I’ve told you before that I don’t read books at all.”

“Yeah, though you still read manga.”

“Yup, but I’ve remembered something since then. I basically don’t read books, but there’s just one that I’ve loved ever since I was young. I got it from my dad though. Aren’t you interested?”

“I see, I guess I am unusually interested in that. It’s because I believe that a person’s character can be seen through the books that they love. And I’m interested in what kind of book a human like you would love. So, what book is it?”

After a pretentious pause for effect, she answered.

“It’s ‘The Little Prince’, ever heard of it?”

“The one by Saint-Exupéry?”

“What! You’ve heard of it? No way, since it was a foreign book, I thought that even Get-Along-kun wouldn’t know about it and would be stunned, but I lost.”

She pouted and pushed her weight onto the backrest, looking drained of energy. Once again, a squeaking noise resounded.

“From how you assumed 'The Little Prince’ isn’t well-known, I can really feel just how uninterested you are in books.”

“I got it so, by the look on your face, that means you’ve read it too? Gah!”

“Nope, it’s a little embarrassing, but I haven’t read it.”

“I see!”

Having suddenly regained her energy, she got up and raised the height of her chair. I raised the height of my chair after her. Naturally, she had a radiant smile plastered on her face. Somehow, I had ended up making her happy.

“Well, I did think that that was probably the case.”

“Don’t you know that you’ll fall into hell if you lie?”

“Since you haven’t read it, I’ll lend you my copy of ‘The Little Prince’, so try giving it a read! Come over to my place today to get it!”

“Couldn’t you just bring it along?”

“You mean you want a girl to carry something heavy?”

“I’ve never read it, but I’m pretty sure it’s just a paperback.”

“Bringing it over to your house would work too.”

“I wonder what happened to it being heavy. Well never mind, I’m tired of having futile arguments with you, and if you’re willing to go as far as coming over to my place, then I’ll be the one to go over.”

This time, that was my just cause.

Truthfully speaking, even this library would probably have had a copy of a book as well-known as the ‘The Little Prince’, but I didn’t want to weirdly ruin the mood of the girl that was a library committee member despite being unfamiliar with books, so I just kept quiet. As for why I hadn’t read a book that famous up till now, even I didn’t know. It was surely an issue of timing.

“Oh, that’s some good situational awareness. Did something happen?”

“I just learnt it from you. That there’s no meaning in a reed boat standing in the way of a large ship.”

“How typical of you, sometimes saying things I don’t understand.”

While I was earnestly explaining the metaphorical expression to her, the library teacher-in-charge returned. As always, we had a chat with Sensei over some tea and snacks, lamenting our misfortune of having to come back to school for two weeks from the next day onwards, then left school for the day.

Outside, thick clouds blanketed the sky - it seemed that today wouldn’t be a very sunny day. I didn’t dislike rainy days. The sense of being surrounded by rain went together well with how I felt on most days, so I never grew to have negative feelings about the rain.

“Don’t you just haaate the rain?”

“……Our feelings really do go in different directions huh.”

“Do people that like the rain even exist?”

I was quite sure they did exist. Without answering, I walked ahead of her. I didn’t know the precise location of her house, but I knew that it was in the opposite direction from my house, so I just walked in the opposite direction I usually went in from the school gate.

“Have you entered a girl’s room before?”

So asked the girl beside me.

“I haven’t, but since it’s just going to be the room of another high schooler, I’d assume that there isn’t anything very interesting about it.”

“Well I guess you got it right. My room is pretty simple. Kyouko’s room has a bunch of band posters and stuff, so it looks even more boyish than a boy’s. As for Hina who you’re so interested in, her room is full of stuffed animals and cute things. That’s right, maybe next time we should go somewhere with Hina?”

“I’ll have to pass. Since I get nervous around pretty girls, and won’t be able to speak properly.”

“Putting it that way makes it sound like you’re saying I’m not cute, but there’s no use, since I haven’t forgotten that night when you said I was third cutest.”

“Though you seem not to be aware that you were only one of the three faces I could recall.”

Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but I really didn’t remember all my classmates’ faces. I didn’t interact with people much, so I guess my ability to remember faces had fallen behind since I never really needed to use it. Races in which one had no choice but to participate in shouldn’t count.

Her house was about the same distance as mine was from school. Mixed into the neighbourhood where large houses lined up in rows was one with cream-coloured walls and a red roof - that was the one she lived in.

Since she was around, naturally, we stepped in through the front gate in a dignified manner. As there was some distance between the entrance and the door, there was also a slight time lag between entering the premises and closing our umbrellas.

Invited inside by the girl, I escaped from the rain like a water-averse cat.

“I’m home!!”

“Sorry to intrude.”

In accordance to her energetic return-home greeting, I reservedly offered a few words. The last memory I had of meeting a classmate’s parents was when I participated in a class visit in elementary school, so needless to say, I got nervous.

“My family isn’t around though.”

“……Only people that are weird in the head will energetically greet an unoccupied space you know.”

“I was greeting my house. After all, it’s the precious place I was brought up in.”

I was at a loss for a reply to the girl that said decent things from time to time. Once again, I said, “Sorry to intrude” - this time to the house, and I took my shoes off after her.

She went to switch on the electricity, and it looked like her home came to life. I went along with her to the washroom to get our hands cleaned and mouths rinsed, and then we headed to her room on the second floor.

The first girl’s room that I had been welcomed into was - in a word - large. What was? Everything. The room itself, the television, the bed, the bookshelf, and the computer. I was envious, or so I was for a second; when I thought that it was all in direct proportion to her parents’ sorrow, my yearning promptly vanished. If anything, it was as if the room was filled with emptiness.

“Sit anywhere you like, you can get in the bed if you’re feeling sleepy too. I’ll tell Kyouko though.”

After saying so, she sat herself down on the red swivel chair in front of the desk and started to spin around. A little lost, I sat down on the bed. My body bounced back up due to the springiness of the bed.

I took another look around the inside of the room. Just like she had said, it was simple, but it was set apart from my room by its large size, the cuteness of the ornaments, and the contents of her bookshelf. Her bookshelf was filled exclusively with manga. There were popular shonen manga as well as plenty of manga that I didn’t know of lined up on the bookshelf.

Eventually she came to a stop with all her spinning, and looking unwell, coughed violently with her head lowered. I was watching on with frozen eyes when she suddenly lifted her head.

“What should we play? Truth or Dare?”

“Aren’t you going to lend me the book? That’s what I came here for.”

“You should relax, or you’re going to die before me, whose life expectancy has already been cut short.”

I frowned at the girl who had cast a curse on me, while she twisted her lips and made a weird face. It was like a game where whoever got annoyed would lose. Though it looked like I lost right away.

She casually stood up and approached the bookshelf, making me wonder if she finally got into the mood to retrieve ‘The Little Prince’, but instead, she took out a foldable shogi board from a drawer on the lowest shelf.

“Let’s give it a go - a friend forgot about it, but never came back to collect it.”

Since I didn’t really have a reason to turn her down, I took her up on the invitation.

In the end, I emerged victorious from a tedious, confused, and long-drawn-out game of shogi. Honestly, I thought I could have achieved an overwhelming victory. However, tsume-shogi and matches with an actual opponent had different conditions, so I couldn’t really get into a good rhythm. Just as I was about to put her in checkmate, she frustratedly flipped over the shogi board. Hey.

While picking up the shogi pieces that had been scattered all over the bed, I looked outside, and saw that the rain was still pouring fiercely.

“You can go home once the rain lightens up a bit. So let’s keep playing until then.”

While speaking as if she had seen through my heart, she kept the shogi board, and this time, brought out a television game.

I did have experience playing television games, but it had been quite some time since I had last touched one.

At first, we played a fighting game. Just by mashing the controller buttons, the human inside the screen would easily wound the opponent - it really was heinous, something like deriving joy from hurting others.

Since I normally almost didn’t play games at all, I was given a little time to practice. I looked at the screen as I manipulated the controller, while she gave me various advice on the game. I thought that she would probably go easy on me, but I had been completely mistaken. The moment the match began - thirsty for vengeance for the shogi match from earlier - she activated some technique that changed the colour of the screen and unleashed a strange wave of energy from her human, making a rag doll of my character.

But, I wasn’t one to just sit idly by. Beginning my counterattack, I recalled a trick, dodged my opponent’s attack, and so that I was able to throw my opponent that was blocking, I pretended to make a mistake to draw her from defence into an all-out attack. Just as the winning stars I had lined up were rivalling hers in number, and it looked as if I was about to win, she cut the power. Come on, hey.

She looked at me with an accusatory glare - which didn’t really faze me - and quickly switched games before rebooting the console.

She owned various games, and we went head-to-head in several of them, but the showdown I liked best was the racing game. While it was a two-player contest, it was ultimately a battle against time, and thus a battle against myself, perhaps making it a game that matched my personality.

We played the racing game on the large television, repeatedly pulling ahead of each other. Never having been one to speak much, I wordlessly concentrated on the game. On the other hand, she wouldn’t stop going “aah!” and “agh!” - if I subtracted that from all the noise in the world, I was sure I would get a zero.

It was only when we had entered the final lap that she spoke with an intention other than distracting me.

She asked me a question. It was one that I had already become desensitised to.

“Get-Along-kun, don’t you feel like getting a girlfriend?”

I responded to her while avoiding a banana on the screen.

“It’s not about whether I want to get one or not. Since I don’t even have friends.”

“Then girlfriend aside, you should make some friends.”

“Maybe if I feel like it.”

“If you feel like it, huh. Hmm, y'know.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t feel like making me your girlfriend, right?”

In response to her absurd full-frontal specialty attack - which could have been part of her strategy - I turned towards her without thinking, and ended up crashing spectacularly on-screen.

“Wahaha, you crashed!”

“……Just what are you saying.”

“Ah, the girlfriend thing? I’m just making sure. You don’t like me or anything, right? No matter what happens, you won’t feel like making me your girlfriend, right?”

“…………I won’t.”

“That’s great, I’m relieved.”

“…………”

What was she relieved about? I thought that it was strange.

I tried figuring it out from the context.

Perhaps, unexpectedly, she suspected that I secretly wanted the relationship between us to become one of lovers.

After all, I had shared accommodation with her, and had now been invited into her room - maybe she was afraid that I had misunderstood and fallen for her.

It was an unwarranted, groundless charge.

Uncharacteristically of me, I started to feel truly unpleasant. Specifically, I felt as though something terrible had accumulated at the bottom of my stomach.

Once the race was over, we put down our controllers.

“Well, pass me the book. It’s about time for me to go.”

The emotions that had taken root deep within my gut refused to fade. So that she wouldn’t find out, I decided to escape as soon as possible.

I stood up and walked over to the bookshelf. The rain hadn’t lightened up at all.

“Even though you could have just taken your time. Give me a moment then.”

She got up from her chair too, and came over to the bookshelf. She stood behind me, close enough that I could hear each breath she took. Somehow, her breathing felt rougher than usual.

Not minding her, I started looking through her bookshelf from the top. Perhaps she was looking for the book in a similar manner. I got a little irritated; she should have just left it in a designated spot from the beginning.

After a short while, I heard her breaths turn heavy. Her arm extended into my peripheral vision. I thought that she had somehow found it first. That wasn’t it - I should have understood at this stage. Because I could see both her arms at the edges of my field of vision.

And right after that, I lost track of where I even was.

Probably due to the fact that I had pretty much never received aggressive body contact from anyone, I couldn’t immediately grasp what had happened to myself.

When I had realised it, my back had been pushed against the wall by the bookshelf. My left hand was free, but my right hand was being gripped against the wall at shoulder height. Even closer than before were breaths and heartbeats that weren’t mine. Heat too, and an unduly sweet scent. She had wrapped her right arm around my neck. I couldn’t see her face; her mouth was right beside my ear. It was a distance in which it felt like our cheeks could touch. And from time to time, they did touch.

Just what was she doing? I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

“……I made a memo of something I wanted to do before I die, remember?”

She whispered into my ear. Her voice and breath lingered on my earlobe. She hadn’t expected a response.

“So that I could carry it out, I checked if you wanted to make me your girlfriend.”

Her black hair was swaying right before my nose.

“The reason I called you over to my home was that too.”

I got the feeling that she giggled.

“Thanks for saying that you didn’t. It was a relief. If you said you did, I wouldn’t be able to achieve my goal.”

I could understand neither her words nor the situation.

“Want I want to do is, you see-”

Too sweet.

“To do something that shouldn’t be done with a boy that isn’t my lover, or even the person I like.”

Something that shouldn’t be done, something that shouldn’t be done?

Her words raced incessantly within my head. Something that shouldn’t be done – just what could it be? Was she talking about the current situation, something in the future, or perhaps even one of the things we had done up till now? I thought that all of them were correct answers. All of them were things that shouldn’t be done. My finding out about her illness, her spending the time before her death with me even though she didn’t even like me, us spending the night together, and my entering her room - if she was talking about something that shouldn’t have been done, it felt like it could’ve been any one of the above.

“This is a hug. And so, starting from right now, this is something that shouldn’t be done.”

As before, she said so looking like she had seen through my heart. Perhaps sharing the same heartbeat made it easy to read my heart. But I couldn’t read her heart at all.

What should I do?

“It’s fine if it’s ?????-kun.”

“…………”

“Something that shouldn’t be done.”

I didn’t know the right way to respond, and I couldn’t understand at all, but I used my free left hand to remove the arm hanging around my neck. I pushed her body away from me, and both the breaths and heartbeats were gone. In their stead, appearing before me was her face - flushed red even though she hadn’t drunk any liqueur.

Having seen my face, she made a surprised expression. Unlike her, I was unable to make faces for other people to see, so I myself didn’t know what sort of face I was making. I just weakly shook my head from side to side. I didn’t even know what I was refusing.

We looked into each other’s eyes. The silence clung on.

I examined her expression. Her eyes darted about restlessly, settling to look somewhere away from me. Then she slowly and reservedly raised the corners of her lips, and looked at me.

And then, all of a sudden, she let it out.

“Aha-”

“…………”

“Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, ju~st kidding.”

So said the girl, now with a full-faced smile. She released her grip on my right arm, shook off my hand, and remained roaring with laughter like that.

“Aaaaah, how embarrassing. It’s just a joke, just a joke! The same mischief as usual. Don’t create such an embarrassing atmosphere, sheesh.”

Her sudden change left me stunned.

“Waaah, this took courage y’know. I even ended up hugging you. But, in the end, it’s real even if it’s just mischief, huh. I gave it my all, yup. Not to mention, you got all quiet so the atmosphere felt like it was the real deal. Did I get your heart racing? I’m glad you told me that you didn’t like me, otherwise it’d have started feeling serious! But my mischief was a great success huh! It’s because it was you that I was able to do it - that was sooo thrilling.”

I didn’t understand the reason. I wonder why?

But, aah, since I met her, this was the first time.

The first time I was seriously angered by a prank of hers.

The anger directed at the girl - who kept on talking like it would shake off the embarrassment that had been dealt upon me - slowly began to take form within my gut, until it could no longer be digested.

Just what did she think I was? I felt that I had been insulted, and that was probably the truth of the matter as well.

If she said that this was socialising, then just like I had thought, I wanted to live without being involved with others. Everyone could just die of some pancreatic illness and disappear. No, I would eat them. I, the only righteous one, would eat everybody else’s pancreata.

Emotions and actions were surprisingly deeply intertwined.

The inside of my ears were blocked with swelling anger. I didn’t register her scream.

I grasped the shoulders of the girl before my eyes, and pushed her onto the bed.

Her upper body collapsed onto the bed. Letting go of her shoulders, I grabbed hold of both her arms so that they couldn’t move. My mind was blank.

Finally recognising the situation, she struggled a little to move, but soon gave up; she looked at my face, casting a shadow upon her own. As always, I didn’t know what sort of face I was making.

“Get-Along-kun?”

She was bewildered.

“What’s wrong? Let go, it hurts.”

I stayed silent, only looking her in the eyes.

“What happened just now was a joke y’know? Hey, I was just playing around like usual.”

Just what would satisfy me? I didn’t even know myself. Or perhaps, I had had enough.

While I continued to not utter a single word, her face that was rich with expressions, her face that she wore on her body for a life of socialising with others, began to change, going round and round like that time before.

She laughed.

“Ehehe, did you get on board with my joke? This is some pretty good service from you! Now, it’s about time to let go.”

She got troubled.

“Hey, heeey, what’s wrong? This isn’t like you, Get-Along-kun. You’re not the kind of person who’d pull this kind of prank right? Hey, let go.”

She got angry.

“Enough already! Do you think it’s alright to do this sort of thing to a girl? Hurry up and let go of me!”

I, most likely with eyes filled with apathy, continued to look straight at her. She didn’t try to evade my gaze either. Staring at each other on top of a bed - things couldn’t get any more romantic.

Before long, she, too, ceased to say anything. Only the fierce sound of the pouring rain seemed to condemn me through the window. I didn’t know why the sounds of her breathing and blinking could be heard.

I continued to stare at her. And she stared back at me too.

That was why - I understood.

Wordlessly, within the eyes of the girl whose expressions had stopped changing, tears welled up.

And as soon as I saw that, my anger - of which I didn’t even know the source - melted away like I had never been mad.

As my temper began to dissipate, from the depths of my guts, I could feel my regrets beginning to churn.

I gently let go of her arms, and stood up. She looked at me with a befuddled expression. Having recognised that, I stopped looking at her face.

“Sorry…………”

I didn’t hear a response. She was still on the bed, lying in the same position as when I had pushed her down.

I grabbed the belongings I had left on the bed. Then, in order to escape, I gripped the door knob.

“……Horrible-Classmate-kun.”

Hesitating for just a moment because of the voice from behind, I responded without turning around.

“Sorry, I’m going home now.”

With just those words, I opened the door of the room I would probably never again return to, and with quick steps, slipped away. No one came chasing after me.

I stepped into the rain, leaving the door unlocked, and after walking a few steps, realised that the rain was wetting my hair. I unhurriedly put up my umbrella, and exited onto the road. The scent of summer rain rose from the asphalt.

I rebuked myself for wanting to turn around, and continued to walk as I recalled the path to school. The rain grew stronger.

I was thinking. I, who had finally regained my composure, was thinking.

I thought as much as I could think, but I could see nothing but regrets inside my heart.

Baffled as to why I would do something like that, I was utterly disappointed with myself.

I didn’t know the target of my anger. I didn’t know that I could hurt someone like that. And I didn’t know that I could be hurt like this.

I saw her face. I saw the tears. I was overrun by emotion. My thoughts - my regrets - had run wild within me.

I noticed that I was clenching my teeth. My gums began to hurt when I became conscious of it. To think that the day would come when I would inflict pain on my own body because of human relationships - I had become strange. But if I thought of this pain as a punishment for myself, then I hadn’t lost my sanity. Even so, my sins wouldn’t be wiped away.

It was all because of what she had called mischief. It had rubbed me the wrong way. It was the truth, but even if it was the truth, it was no excuse to get physically violent with her. It didn’t matter even if I, regardless of her intentions, got hurt. Got hurt, I got hurt? Just what had I gotten hurt about? Although I could remember her scent and heartbeat, I couldn’t understand what they meant. Somehow, I just couldn’t forgive myself. With senseless emotion, I had hurt her.

I cut a path in-between some large houses. It was a weekday afternoon, and there was not a soul in sight.

Surely, if I were to suddenly disappear, no one would notice.

Having gone silent at the thought, a voice from behind shocked me back to my senses.

“Unremarkable-Classmate-kun.”

It was the calm voice of a male. I promptly turned around, and there stood a classmate under an umbrella. Up till he called out to me, I hadn’t noticed his presence at all. I thought it was strange. First was the fact that he called out to me. Second was how he expressed an emotion that resembled anger, even though he had always left the impression of having a gentle smile.

Speaking to him now made this the second time today. How rare of me to exchange words with the same human twice in one day.

He was a boy that gave off a sense of warmth and neatness - our class representative. Thinking of finding out with what sort of heart did that kind of boy involve himself with me, I shook off my reservations about how I had nothing to do with him, and called back out to him, “Hey.”

Though I expected a response, he just glared at me silently. It couldn’t be helped, so I opened my mouth again.

“So you live around here, huh.”

“…………I don’t.”

As I thought, he really seemed to be in a bad mood. Maybe he too disliked the rain. After all, when it rained, the amount of baggage would increase and get in the way. Then again, he was wearing only casual clothing right now, and wasn’t carrying anything apart from his umbrella.

I looked at his face. Recently, I’d finally learned how to read a person’s emotions from their eyes. In order to search for the reason why he was so upset that he had to come talk to me, I somehow or another met his gaze.

I didn’t speak again. That was why, as I calmed my own feelings and silently looked at his face, he got impatient first. With a face that looked like he just swallowed a bitter bug, he called out to me.

“The same goes for Unremarkable-Classmate - why are you in this sort of place?”

I wasn’t particularly concerned about how, unlike usual, he addressed me without any honorifics. Even more than that, how he called me Unremarkable-Classmate like I was something else weighed on my mind. Like Unforgivable-Enemy for example. Anyhow, I didn’t know the reason, so I left it as it was.

I didn’t answer, so he clicked his tongue.

“I asked why Unforgivable-Enemy is in this sort of place.”

“……I had some business to attend to.”

“It’s Sakura right?”

I could feel my heart squeeze at that familiar name. It got painful to breath and I couldn’t answer right away. He didn’t let that go either.

“I said, it’s Sakura, right?”

“…………”

“Answer me!

“…………If the Sakura you’re talking about is the same person as that girl in our class, then you’re right.”

My faint hopes that perhaps it was a misunderstanding on his part were shattered by the expression he made as he ground his teeth. With that, I could decisively state that he was facing me with rather unfriendly emotions. It’s just that I still didn’t understand the reason for his emotions.

What should I do?

But that thought of mine became meaningless right away. Soon enough, I learnt it through the words of he himself.

“Why is Sakura-”

“…………”

“Why is Sakura together with someone like you?”

Ah, I understood.

The understanding that could almost be put into words - I consciously clung onto it. I understood. The true form of the emotions he was facing me with. Without thinking, I scratched my head. I thought something along the lines of how this seemed troublesome.

If he were properly looking with his eyes, any number of excuses or explanations would probably prove effective, but he had been made blind by his own misdirected anger.

Perhaps, running into each other today at this place wasn’t a coincidence; I could imagine countless situations, such as him following the two of us.

He was probably in love. And consequently, he was facing me with misguided jealousy. He was blinded, and had thus lost his ability to observe, as well as to view himself objectively. It was likely that he had lost other things too.

For now, I tried to explain the truth - what I thought was the best course of action.

“She and I don’t have the sort of relationship that you’re imagining.”

When I said so, his eyes became bloodshot. By the time I wondered if this was bad, it was too late - he condemned me with a more aggressive volume and tone. He managed to drown out the sound of the rain.

“Then, tell me just what you two are! Having a meal and going on a trip alone with her, and then today, you alone went to that girl’s house to play - it’s become a hot topic in class! That you suddenly began following her around.”

I got a little interested as to how the stuff about our trip got leaked out.

“It may appear like I’ve been following her around, but I don’t think that’s accurate. Having said that, saying that I was letting her go out with me is arrogant, and saying that she was letting me go out with her is too modest. Just because we’ve been going out, it doesn’t really mean that we’re lovers.”

I confirmed that his face moved at the words “go out”, and so I clarified myself further.

“Anyway, we don’t have the sort of relationship you or the class think we do.”

“Even so, Sakura has been spending time with you.”

“……I guess so.”

“With a fellow that’s nothing but anti-social and gloomy like you!”

I didn’t have any particular objections against what he had hatefully said about my nature as a human. It probably looked like that, and it probably was the truth.

As for why she would spend time together with me, that was what I wanted to know. She had said that I was the only existence that could give her both an everyday and reality, but though it was believable, I got the feeling that something would come undone if I used that as an answer.

And so, I silently glared at him. He too, stood in the rain with a heated gaze and hardened expression.

The silence continued for a long time. Since it went on for so long, I thought that our conversation had come to an end. He too seemed to notice his unjustified anger towards me, and had perhaps been struck by regret like I had been earlier. Or maybe that wasn’t the case. Since he was blinded, he may not have been able to see his own emotions.

In the end, it didn’t matter which it was. Whatever the case, there was probably nothing to gain from us facing each other any more than this, and so, I turned my back to him. I did so because I thought he would let me go. Of perhaps, I just wanted to be alone as soon as possible. It didn’t matter which it was either. My course of action wouldn’t change.

Thinking about it carefully, I only knew of humans in love being blinded in stories, and having never touched a real human’s heart, it was presumptuous of me to try reading a living human being’s actions. Characters in stories were different from real humans. Stories and reality were different. Reality wasn’t as beautiful or as graceful as stories.

Walking in a direction where there were no humans around, I could feel the weight of his piercing gaze on my back. I refused to turn around. Because even if I did, it wouldn’t benefit anyone. I wanted the boy behind me to understand that there was no way she would like me, a person that thought about human relationships in the same manner he did of math, but it was pointless.

Unaware that love wasn’t the only thing that blinded people, and that thinking could blind too, I hadn’t realised that the boy behind me had come chasing after me until he grabbed onto my shoulder.

“Wait!”

Since it couldn’t be helped, I turned only my head. The misunderstanding aside, I was a little fed up with his attitude. But I didn’t show it in my expression.

“We’re not done talking!”

Thinking about it, I may have gotten worked up as well. This was pretty much my first experience getting into a so-called quarrel. To have emotions clash, and to lose the part of me that could think rationally.

Words that would clearly hurt him came out of my mouth.

“Hey, let me tell you one thing. It’ll probably be helpful.”

I took a firm look into his eyes, with the intention of emptying out my gut.

“That girl seems to dislike obstinate humans. It looks like her previous boyfriend was one.”

The last I saw of his face that was right next to mine, it had twisted to a level I hadn’t yet seen in the past few minutes. I didn’t know what that expression meant, but it didn’t matter. Even if I had understood, the result wouldn’t have changed.

I received a strong impact to my left eye, and having lost my balance due to its momentum, I fell on my behind on the rain-drenched asphalt. The rain quickly soaked into my uniform. Still open, the umbrella that had fallen from my hand made a dull sound and rolled about. The bag I had let go of at the same time lay on the ground. Surprised by the situation that I had been put in, I promptly turned to his direction. My left eye was blurry and couldn’t see very well.

I didn’t know the details, but I knew that I had been dealt with violence. People didn’t just fall of their own will.

“What do you mean by obstinate! I, I just-”

So he said. He was facing me, but those words clearly weren’t directed at me. I knew that I had brought down his wrath. I thought of hurting him, so it served me right that I got hurt. I reflected deeply upon myself.

This really was the first time that I had been hit by a person. It hurt quite a bit. I understood that it hurt where I had been hit, but for some reason, the core of my heart was in pain too. If this continued, my heart as a person may even break.

Still seated on the ground, I looked up at him. My left eye’s vision had yet to return.

He didn’t definitively say it, so I couldn’t make any conclusions at this juncture, but he was probably her lover from before. Breathing roughly, he looked down at me.

“A fellow like you should stay away from Sakura!”

As he said so, he took out something from his pocket and threw it at me. It had been crumpled, but spreading it open, I recognised it as the bookmark I had lost some time ago. I got it - I could imagine the flow of events.

“So it was you.”

He didn’t reply.

I had thought that there was a gentle nature behind those shapely features. When he stood in front of the class to lead a discussion, and when he sometimes came to the library to borrow books, he would sprinkle a well-rounded smile. But all I, who didn’t know of his inner face, had been seeing was something that he had carefully prepared to show the outside world. As expected, it wasn’t the appearance, but the substance that was important.

I wondered what I should do. It was me who had hurt him first, so I couldn’t say that his attack wasn’t in self-defence. I did feel that it was somewhat excessive, but I couldn’t understand just how much he had been hurt. That was why I felt that it would’ve been strange to stand up and strike back against him.

It looked like the blood had yet to recede from his head. It would have been good if there was a method to calm him down, but if I chose the wrong words – no, even if I didn’t choose the wrong ones, I’d probably end up adding oil to the fire. Without a doubt, it was because to him, I had crossed a line somewhere emotionally.

I looked at him. I was beginning to think that he was much more in the right than I was. He must have really liked her a lot. His methods may have been a little wrong, or rather, those methods were the problem, but he faced her with straightforward feelings, and wished to spend time together with her.

That was why he resented me, who had taken away her time. Whereas for me, if I hadn’t found out that she would die in a year - eating with her, going on a trip with her, going to her house and having things become awkward - I wouldn’t have done any of that. Her dying was what bound us together. But, death was a fate that would befall everyone. That was why, meeting with her was a coincidence. Us spending time together was a coincidence. There was no will, or urgency of emotions on my part at all.

Even I, who didn’t involve myself with people, knew that those in the wrong had to give in to those who were right.

I got it. In that case, I’d let him have his way until he was satisfied. I, who tried to have a relationship with someone without even knowing how people felt, was in the wrong.

I firmly met his glare, and was going to convey my intention to him. I was going to convey my intention to submit to him. But I was no match for her.

Behind the boy whose chest heaved with every breath, I spied a figure standing.

“What are you doing……?”

Thunderstruck, he turned to face the voice.

His umbrella wavered, and the falling raindrops began to dot his shoulders. Not knowing if it was good or bad timing, I watched the two of them as if it were someone else’s affairs.

The girl who was carrying an umbrella, probably trying to grasp the situation, looked back and forth between his face and mine countless times.

He tried to say something. But before he could speak a word, the girl rushed to my side, picked up the fallen umbrella, and offered it to me.

“You’re gonna catch a cold, Horrible-Classmate-kun……”

When I accepted her somewhat off-the-mark kindness, I could hear her gasp.

“Horrible-Classmate-kun! Blood, blood is coming out!”

Looking distraught, she produced a handkerchief from her pocket and held it to my left eye. I hadn’t known that I was bleeding. So his violence may not have come from his bare hands. But I didn’t want to know the identity of the weapon right now.

Even more important than that, I saw the expression of the stunned boy after she rushed to my side. The degree of that change was beyond description. It made me think that this was what it meant to have emotions overflow and spill over.

“What’s wrong?” “Why’s there blood-” The girl continued. My eyes had been taken hostage by his emotions, so her concern fell on deaf ears, but that wasn’t a problem. He provided the explanation.

“Sakura…… Why are you helping that sort of fellow……”

With her handkerchief still lightly pushed against my left eye, she turned to face him. His expression, probably because he saw her face, became even more twisted.

“That sort of fellow…… What…… You mean Horrible-Classmate-kun?”

“That’s right, that fellow was following Sakura around, so to make sure that he wouldn’t meddle anymore, I hit him.”

He said so to justify his actions. He probably thought that it would get her to see him in a better light. He probably wanted her to look at him once again. The blinded boy could no longer see her heart.

I, who had become a complete bystander, silently observed the developments. Frozen in place, she stared him in the face. Only her arms were extended to hold her handkerchief against my face. Like a child that wanted to be praised, half of him was smiling. The other half was engulfed by fear.

A few seconds later, his face shifted to the latter.

Like she was vomiting out the emotions that had accumulated inside her stomach in the time she had stopped moving, she delivered to him just one line.

“…………You’re the worst.”

The shock from her words wrecked his face.

Soon, she turned back to me. Her face surprised me. I had misunderstood that her rich variety of expressions were inherently bright. I thought that even when she got angry, even when she cried, they were still bright. I had misunderstood.

Even she could make this sort of face.

The sort that looked like it was meant to hurt someone.

Her expression changed right away when she faced me; confusion was mixed together with a smile. I stood up at her cue. Both my pants and jersey were completely soaked, so I was glad that it was summer. It wasn’t cold, thanks to the summer air, and her holding onto my arm.

Pulling strongly on my arm, she walked in his direction. I looked at his face. I saw the devastation, and was convinced that he probably wouldn’t steal my things anymore after this.

We passed by him, and though I expected her to keep pulling us along, I abruptly bumped into her when she came to a halt. Our umbrellas bounced off each other, sending a spray of water flying.

Without turning around, she spoke calmly in a loud voice.

“I’ve come to hate Takahiro now. So don’t ever do anything to me or the people around me ever again.”

The boy called Takahiro didn’t say anything. When I at last looked at his back, it seemed like he was crying.

Afterwards, I was pulled to her house. There, I was wordlessly handed a towel and a change of clothes, and told to take a shower. Without hesitation, I did as she said. I borrowed a men’s T-shirt, pair of underwear, and jersey, and learnt for the first time that she had a much older brother. I hadn’t even known the structure of her family.

After changing, I was called to her room on the second floor. There I saw her atop her bed, sitting in seiza.

From there, I experienced it for the first time in my life with her. I, who rarely involved himself with people, didn’t know what it was. Which is why I am borrowing her words.

She called it making up.

That, even more than any of the involvements I’ve had with humans up till now, made me itch with embarrassment.

She apologised to me. I apologised to her too. She explained herself to me. She’d thought I’d make a troubled face and laugh. That was why I explained myself too. For some reason I didn’t understand, I’d gotten the feeling that I had been made a fool of, and got offended. She had come chasing me in the rain because she absolutely didn’t want things to turn sour between us, and the reason she cried after I pushed her down was purely because she was afraid of a boy’s strength - that was what I heard.

Sincerely, I apologised from the bottom of my heart.

I talked about what interested me in the boy that had been left behind in the rain. Our class representative, as I had thought, was her previous lover. I truthfully said what had come to mind in the middle of the rain. That rather than being with me, it would be better for her to be with someone who seriously thought of her. Because us meeting at the hospital that day was nothing but a mere coincidence.

She scolded me in return.

“That’s not it. It’s not a coincidence. The two of us, and everyone else, have come this far through the choices we ourselves have made. You and I being in the same class, and meeting in the hospital that day too - they weren’t coincidences. It wasn’t anything like fate either. The choices that you’ve made up till now, and the choices that I’ve made up till now, were what let us meet. We met each other out of our own free wills.”

I kept mum. I didn’t say a thing. I really had much to learn from her. If she didn’t have one year left, if she had even longer, could I ever teach her anything beyond what she had taught me? No, no matter how much time there was left, it surely wouldn’t be enough.

After having borrowed a bag for my uniform, as well as some clothes, I was lent the book I had been promised. Since I read books in the order I obtained them, it would take some time to finish the books already stacked on my bookshelf. When I informed her of this, she said that it would be fine for me to return it in a year. In other words, I had vowed to get along with her until she died.

The next day when I headed to school for supplementary lessons, I found that my indoor shoes hadn’t disappeared.

I went to the classroom wearing indoor shoes for the first time in a while, and found that she wasn’t around. Even when it was time for first period, she hadn’t come to school. The next period, and the period after that too. Even when classes had come to an end, she was nowhere to be seen.

As for why she hadn’t come, I only learnt about it that night.

She had been hospitalised.

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#translations #i want to eat your pancreas #novel #kimi no suizou wo tabetai

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