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ten0rreaper · 4 years ago

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Here’s my entry to the @pnatsecretsanta for 2020! @quarktrinity, I hope you enjoy! It’ll be crossposted to ao3, link will be in a reblog. Thank you for your patience!

Isabel: hey so

Isabel: when are u going to get here

Max: wat?

Max: its xmas ev

Isabel: you really need to get a new phone

Isabel: and remember? youre supposed to come to my place tonight, wait it out

Isabel: max?

Isabel: if you were spacing out again im going to kill you

Isabel: you WERE doing the face again now that i think about it

Max: u guys ned 2 mak imprtnt info cler. Y i spcd

Isabel: you need to listen! this time mr spender remembered to tell u and everything. youre not allowed to be mad at us this time

Isabel: in short, get ur butt over here before midnight. sneak out if u need to, thats what isaac does

Isabel: in long, if u dont santas gonna kill u

----

“Let me get this straight.” 11:30 P.M. December 24th, 20XX. Max sat in Ed’s room on a chair hastily drawn up, with a jacket pulled hastily over his pajamas and hat still jammed on his head, massaging his temples. “Santa’s real, he’s a spirit, and he hates all spectrals and is coming to kill us?”

“That’s a bit of an oversimplification, but yeah,” Isaac said, and Max shot him a glare. He could hear that smugness. “So like, there’s a lot of spirits that kinda grow from ideas humans have, right? I don’t know what’s up with Scrapdragon, but like, Muse came from the ideas around ancient Greek muses, like his name. They can be really off base but still have the same ideas- like Lucifer, Mr. Spender’s spirit, is just some lightbulb guy, but Lucifer does mean light and stuff, so they can just be along those lines. But like, a LOT of kids believe in Santa and think about him a lot, so there’ve been a few spirits that manifested around the idea of a guy who can get anywhere to deliver presents to good kids and punishments to bad ones, especially with stories like Krampus too.”

“But most spirits can’t interact with humans, so this guy mostly goes around to other spirits and ghosts and stuff,” Isabel said, distracted by her attempts to spin her umbrella like a top. “So he likes spirits a lot. And we kick a lot of spirit butt,” she punctuated this with a particular spirited spin of the umbrella, “so he hates us and comes to try to kill us every year. And because he can teleport, he can get inside the barrier. So gramps makes us all stay with him until sunrise every year so that all the adults can fight off santa and his reindeer so we don’t get put in a sack and teleported somewhere.”

Max groans and tries to fall backwards in his chair, but the chair doesn’t budge. “Your paint really isn’t good for drama,” Max informed Ed.

“Don’t be so dramatic then,” Ed snickered. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Says you, You just stay at home all night. I have to sneak out! My dad’ll kill me if he finds out!”

“I just put a pillow in my blankets and it’s fine,” Isaac says with a shrug. “If your dad looks harder than that, we probably have a tool lying around that can wipe memories or something.”

“I don’t want to mind wipe my dad,” Max grumbled, but resigned himself to slumping grumpily in his chair to watch Ed play some punching game or whatever. Bad enough that his own baseball bat might want to eat him, and he was trapped in this town with no way out- now Christmas hated him too.

Isaac caught his eye and smiled sympathetically. “You get used to it,” he whispered.

“I thought I was used to it a month ago.”

Max jumped as a knock on the door sounded, glaring at Isabel’s laughter. The door opened without waiting for a response. Mr. Spender poked his head in through the door with a goofy grin. “Alright, kids! You all ready for this year’s Christmas night?”

Ed didn’t even look away from his video game, waving lazily. “We could use some snacks. That’d be nice.”

“Yeah, where are the snacks, old man? You want us to starve?” Isabel waved her umbrella at him like a grumpy old woman might a cane.

“You’re well fed enough already. I made sure of that.” It spoke wonders to how used to this existence Max had become that Mr. Spender knocking politely had scared him, but Isabel’s grandpa floating through the wall didn’t. The man’s bulk and imperious gaze still caused him some anxiety, though, and he had to consciously remind himself that he’s a punk, he’s cool, and he doesn’t respect anyone’s authority, even a scary ghost’s. Yeah, totally.

The atmosphere of the room quickly shifted, and Isabel’s eyes dropped. “Yeah, I was just joking. Sorry, Grandpa.”

“Joke or not, this night is too much effort to make light of. My students and I are putting ourselves at risk for you,” Mr. Guerra said, looming over the room, “so only vocalize a need if you need it.”

Isabel glowered at the carpet. “Alright, Grandpa…”

“So. I will ask again. Are you all prepared? Midnight strikes soon.”

“We are, sir,” Isaac said. Max fought not to pull a face at Isaac’s please pay attention to me, authority figure tone, but for once it was helpful, so whatever. He could let it slide.

Mr. Guerra eyed Isaac. “...good. We’ll get you once the sun begins to rise.” And with that, he turned away and slid down through the floor. Max could already hear him barking at the pupils below.

Mr. Spender grimaced. “Well… good! Everything’s all set then.”

Isabel grumbled, picking at the carpet.

“...trust me,” Mr. Spender said, forcing audibly fake cheer into his voice, “This isn’t a hassle at all. You guys getting stuffed into a sack- now, that would be quite the kerfuffle!”

They all stared as Mr. Spender slowly deflated. “...sure,” Max said. “Uh, we’ll be good, stay up here, it’s fine.”

“Great.” Mr. Spender nodded, stared awkwardly for a moment, and stepped out the door. “Well, Merry Christmas, children!” He shut the door behind him. Max listened with the others as his footsteps hurried down the hall to the stairwell.

Silence reigned for a few minutes, a distinctly uncomfortable experience for Max. It was almost impossible not to ramble, and he was reaching his breaking point and about to open the floodgates of inane and overly verbose chatter when Ed, thankfully, took point.

“That sucked,” he said simply, and Isabel groaned and fell back.

“I hate when he does that!” Isabel laid her umbrella by her side and waved her hands in the air exasperatedly. “It’s like he has no in between and I’m always either The Best And He’s So Disappointed In Me For Not Being Perfect or A Helpless Kid He Needs To Do Everything For! He always gets like this tonight!”

Ed paused his game, and reached around to pat her on the knee. “I mean, we could prove him wrong. We beat up spirits all the time, how hard could this be?”

“Okay, hold up, hand on,” Max said. “No? I- this is a terrible idea, you just got finished telling me about how if I wasn’t here I’d be killed by Santa, and now you want to go out there and fight Santa?”

“Well, not Santa,” Ed said. “Duh. He mostly just sends his reindeer to do everything and hangs out on rooftops.”

“And no offence Max, but uh…” Isaac scratched the back of his head.

“You’d totally get killed if you were on your own.” Isabel flipped herself upright. “All you got is that dinky bat, and magnet powers. You can’t even do a spec shot, dude, you’d get thrown in a sack in no time. We’d be fine.”

Max crossed his arms. “Alright, screw you too.”

“But other than that… that sounds like it could be pretty fun.” Isabel grinned. “Show the old man and his big dumb deer who’s boss. Maybe then he’ll stop coming to Mayview every year.”

“That would be pretty nice actually.” Isaac was clearly thinking hard- he had his broody face on. “I would like to stop having to sneak out every year. Sooner or later my parents will notice.”

Max shuddered. “Actually, yeah, Isaac has a point. I don’t want to die to Rudolph or anything, but if we keep having to do this, I’ll die to my dad, which is way worse honestly.”

“Your dad’s a teddy bear,” Isabel said, and rolled her eyes. “Stop complaining.”

“You haven’t seen him when I fail a test!”

“So are we going or what?” Isabel was already pulling her jacket back on, tucking her umbrella firmly under her arm. Ed bounced on the balls of his feet with a grin, already eyeing up the window and painting himself a rope.

Max looked at Isaac, who shrugged and got to his feet. Max sighed, and stood up, regretfully leaving his scooter on the floor. “Yeah, alright. We’re going.”

Well, Max was regretting this. He was regretting this so much. He tromped through the snowy woods, eternally grateful for his boots. “Why in the world do we have to fight the spirits of Christmas in the woods? Why can’t we do it in town, or like, on the road at least? The roads we salted. The roads wouldn’t be as cold.”

“Cuz we’d get caught, dummy,” Isabel snorted. Or maybe it was a sniffle. “Either someone from the dojo would hear us and yell at us and get in the way before we can prove anything, or someone in town would yell at us and call the cops or something.”

“Maybe having people nearby to help isn’t a bad thing? You can’t just say that after saying that I’m the most likely person to die!”

“You came out here anyway,” Isaac pointed out, and looked all too unaffected by Max’s glare.

“I hate you. I hate you with everything in my being you- you chump elf.”

Isabel laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, this place looks pretty good, huh?” She stopped, looking around the snowy clearing they’d come into and turning in place. She nodded, satisfied. “There’s room to fight here, and we could come up with some pretty solid traps. Isaac wouldn’t have to worry too much about blasting a bunch of trees.”

“Looks pretty good!” Ed pulled off a mitten with his teeth and dug his paint brush out of his pocket. “What’re you thinkin, Izzy? Tripwire? Net?”

“Let’s go net,” Isaac said. “They can fly.”

“Plus, last time you tripped Isaac, remember?” Isabel elbowed Ed in the side. “Max and I are pretty fast, but Isaac needs some help.”

“Please. I can jump higher than your house is tall.”

“But you still fell just flat on your face,” she cooed. Isaac grumbled, cursing her just loud enough for Isabel to overhear, but she just batted her eyes and paid him no mind. “Okay, so,” she said, looking up at the sky through the hole in the canopy, “we probably only have a few more minutes before one of the reindeer finds us-”

And that’s when a dark shape, faster than cheetah and twice as forceful, barrelled into Max. And off he went, hanging by the hood of his jacket on a wicked sharp antler prong, into the sky and away to the sound of jingling bells.

----

Things were quiet this year, Richard reflected. It was honestly a relief- maybe the spirit had finally given up. Probably too much to hope for, but, Christmas miracles and all. In any case, there seemed to be plenty of time to get the kids some mugs of hot cocoa and cookies to wait out the night with.

“Need any help balancing those?” Day asked, and Richard felt his mood become momentarily strained.

“Actually, that would be nice, if you think you could.” The tray of mugs and cookies he was balancing was quite the challenge, after all. Day reached up and somehow grabbed the plates of cookies perfectly- Spender could swear he saw her eyes flash for a moment, smart woman- and left him to balance the four mugs. A much easier task now.

“I really thought things would be more eventful, with how much Francisco was fussing over it, but everything’s pretty quiet, isn’t it?” Day smiled and followed Richard’s footsteps to the stairs.

“Well, usually there’s more cause for it, but the spirits seem to be laying low this year. Not an unwelcome reprieve in the slightest, but I do worry about Max… if this isn’t the new status quo, I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”

“He’s a- well, he seems like a really smart kid,” Day reassured him. “I think he’ll make sure to be careful next year too!”

“I hope so. He does seem resourceful, but… he can be reckless.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” she said, before stopping with a small frown on her face. “They’re being pretty quiet…”

Spender listened for a moment himself. “Hm, they are… mayhaps they went to bed early?”

“That doesn’t sound like them.”

“No,” he said, dread creeping into his heart. “It doesn’t.”

He set the tray of cookies on the floor. He approached Ed’s room. He knocked.

He opened the door.

Richard’s lips thinned into a grim line as he surveyed the dark room. “They’re gone.”

------

Max screamed for his life as he was lifted faster than he could process into the sky. It was a clear, starry night, and they all looked like streaks as his captor circled through the sky, closer and closer to the top of the dome before colliding headfirst into it. Max didn’t have any more air in his lungs to scream as he was jostled loose and began to fall down, down- only to be caught again, this time like a sack of potatoes on the spirit’s back. He was overwhelmed by the sound of silver bells as he caught his breath, eyes screwed tightly shut.

Eventually, his lungs rallied to his call, and he was able to take in an unpleasant few gulps of animal-scented air. Max cracked his eyes open a peek- and immediately shut them again. Too high. He was way, way too high up. His heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest, and the wind burned his face and the tips of his ears.

Hold on.

“My hat,” he wheezed reaching one hand up to grope the top of his head. “My hat’s gone!”

“Soon that will be of no matter.”

Max screamed- even he was getting fed up with his own screams at this point, but instinct didn’t seem to be on the same page.

“Quiet,” the rumbling voice said, and the spirit turned to look at Max. “Your sounds irritate me.”

The spirit that held Max on its back was by far the biggest deer of any Max had ever seen. It was shaggy and majestic, even as its fur was electric yellow, and its huge rack of knife-like antlers shivered as if they were made of candle flame. Its many eyes blinked, and it beared serrated teeth- a stark contrast to the many silver bells that seemed a part of its pelt. Max looked away, avoiding its cruel gaze, to see three pairs of legs, hooves thundering over empty air. And below him, seven more enormous shapes were blazing their way towards the distant forest clearing, led by an eerie red light. “Oh no, oooooh no, no no no no no no…”

“But yes, child. At last you have been retrieved, and soon your friends will be as well. Then, you can all face your punishment.” The spirit laughed cruelly. “I am Dasher, and I was simply the herald.”

“So you’re just, you’re just Dasher? Like from the poem? One of those things down there is…” Jeez, this was surreal. “...Donner? And, Vixen?”

“Many tremble in fear before those names. It would do you right to show some respect.”

“What? No, nobody does! You guys are like, goofy little stop motion dolls, man, how’d you guys end up looking like this?”

“Our powers are untold by your human poems-”

“Aren’t you guys based on the poems?!”

Dasher snorted and tossed his head in anger. “That is an egregious oversimplification-”

“I thought your name was Dasher, not Dictionary.”

The spirit cried out in frustration, and Max felt something in him settle a bit better. Poking things with words, he could do that. Just don’t look down. “So, uh,” he began, shifting a bit so it was less like he was thrown over Dasher and more like he was riding him, “why am I not in a sack yet?”

“Our pilot is attending to his annual business in Mayview,” Dasher growled. “It is we who have the ability to fight and fly- so it is we who collect naughty children. Once your compatriots have been obtained, then we may return to our stations.”

“Wow,” Max drawled. “I can’t believe Santa needs his reindeer to deal with three preteens.”

“You do have a teenager within your ranks. That does provide some extra challenge.”

“Whoa, wait, really?”

“Yes. He cannot fully be counted as a child by our pilot any longer- he has aged enough to become a teenager. It is not he that we seek.”

“Wow, that’s weirdly arbitrary and nitpicky.” Max was so going to tease Isaac about this later. If he didn’t, well, get thrown into a sack and… baked into a pie? Eaten alive? Thrown into a dungeon? Whatever. Try to be positive.

“If you take issue, you may air your complaints to our pilot.”

“Taking it straight to the manager, alright.” Max stared at his hands, balled in bright yellow fur, and took a deep breath as he relaxed them. He wasn’t going to fall, he was certain Dasher wouldn’t allow him, channel a Karen- and he released the fur, balancing on the spirit’s back with only his legs. Before he could lose his nerve, he swung his backpack off his shoulder and grabbed his bat. Okay, weapon acquired. Just… what to do with it.

Dasher huffed. “Puny weapon. Even with the power of an enslaved spirit, you cannot defeat me. Especially not with a spirit as weak as that one.”

“Ugh, not you too,” Max grumbled. At least this thing wasn’t getting aggressive. “I’m kinda tired of being called the weak one, it’s getting old.”

“It would have been better, then, if you had kept your power to yourself, and not bothered the true denizens of this world, as the other child does.”

“Other child-? You know what, I don’t know what you’re talking about and I do not care. Now let me think.” Max re-gripped Dasher tightly, this time grabbing the reigns, and looked around. Man, of course Max got magnet powers in the place where there’s no tall buildings anywhere- it would be great if they could pass by a skyscraper or two for Max to attach himself to. But alas… then, his eyes caught a gleam, a dark silhouette against the colorful lights of Mayview.

A transmission tower in the woods. And they were heading right for it. Max shrugged his backpack back on to his shoulder and gripped his bat as tight as he could.

“Thinking will get you nowhere, child.”

“Yeah, but it’ll keep me quiet,” Max mumbled.

“True,” Dasher said. And started to turn back towards the clearing.

“No!” Max yelped, holding his bat out desperately- he knew the tower was too distant still, but he put all his will into the bat, trying to extend its power as far as he can-

Dasher lurched beneath him with a confused cry, the bells jangled, and Max’s focus was broken with a shout. Immediately, Dasher steadied beneath him.

“Child, if you do that again I will throw you off into the ground-”

“What- I don’t even know what I did-” Max’s breath caught as he realized what happened. The bells. They were metal, and he had what was definitely a terrible idea. But it was his only idea.

Quickly, before Dasher could retaliate, Max activated his bat. Dasher howled with rage as all the bells in his body strained in the direction of the magnetic center, and Max laughed with panic.

“RELEASE ME AT ONCE-”

“No,” Max said, filled with thrill and panic, and directed Dasher back towards the clearing. The spirit barrelled towards it at supernatural speeds, a furious scream echoing through the night as he crashed into the snow like a comet. Max tumbled off of the spirit’s back, and the bat’s angle changed wildly, forcing Dasher in mad circles.

The other seven deer spirits, crowded in the woods, were as thrown into chaos as Isabel, Ed, and Isaac were, but Ed recovered fastest. “Max!” He crowed, head popping out of the snow. “You’re alive!”

“Somehow!” Max laughed, voice squeaky with panic. “For now!” In the corner of his eye, he noticed another spirit- a large one that was on fucking fire, so must be either Comet or Blitzen- and quickly swung his bat around to point at it. Dasher was forced to charge full speed into the other spirit, which dissolved into a wisp with a cry of shock.

Isabel whooped. “I can’t believe it! Magnet powers are good for something!”

“Serves you right!” He felt about to shake apart, and still dizzy from the crash, but spinning Dasher around like a top was easy enough- and the other jingling spirits were drawn in too. It was a glorious explosion of color, sound, and christmas spirits as one by one they melted each other away into whisps. Finally, only Dasher stood in the snow, puffing furious, cloudy breaths into the air.

“You will pay,” Dasher hissed. “Naughty children. You will not escape your punishment, this I swear to you.”

“Whatever you say, bub,” Ed chirped, and raised his scythe above his head.

“Wait!”

Max and the others turned back to look just in time to watch an arrow streak through the night and imbed itself in Dasher’s forehead. “No, no,” he groaned, watching Isabel’s face light up with glee.

Agent Day and Mr. Spender ran into the clearing, both panting and exhausted. “Thank goodness we found you,” Agent Day breathed, hands on her knees. “We were so worried that you were taken…”

“But I saw Dasher fall from the sky!” Spender’s chest heaved, and he swayed with effort, but he somehow managed to stay upright. “I’m so glad you’re all alright, even Dasher alone is quite the challenge to combat…”

“Nah, we got all of them.” Isabel grinned and punched her palm. “Max was able to yank ‘em around by the bells with his bat, and he got em all to poof each other. It was really easy to hit ‘em when they were all clumped up, too.”

“You- you really beat them all? Where are their tools?!”

“Right here, Mr. Spender!” Isaac called, arms full of a few rocks and sticks. “They’re, uh, not much to look at, but…”

“Amazing! Wonderful job, all of you- these will be great for the club’s stores!”

“But you shouldn’t have snuck out. We were so worried about you, and you’re glad we found you! Your grandfather is worried sick!” Agent Day wrung her hands together, cane stuck in the snow.

“Yes, he’s… not happy,” Spender admitted. “But, surely he’ll be proud when he finds out what you’ve accomplished?”

“Probably not,” Isabel sighed, sticking her hands in her pockets.

“...probably not.” Spender came over to put a hand on her shoulder. “But, for what it’s worth, I am.” Isabel looked up at him, then threw her arms around him. Spender smiled softly and hugged her in return.

“This is great,” Max groaned. “But I’m being crushed by a flippin’ reindeer, so can I get some help?”

Oblivious to Max’s irritation, Dasher continued licking Max’s hair life the reindeer he resembled. “You’re not so bad, I suppose. Resourceful child.”

“It always happens to me.”

“The arrow will at least last the night,” Agent Day said thoughtfully. “It should be safe for you to go home, in that case- you too, I think, Isaac! Since all the others are gone, after all… Maybe Dasher can take you home!”

“Nooooo!”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Ms. Day,” Spender said. “You could perhaps take Isaac and Ed back to the dojo, and I can take Isaac back to his home…?”

“Yes sir!” Day smiled. “Merry Christmas, Max, Isaac,” she said. “I hope you get back undetected.”

“Thank you, Ms. Day,” Isaac said. “You too.”

“You guys suck,” Max grumbled.

----

It took a bit for Max to wrangle Dasher into taking him home, but under Day’s spell, the spirit was a fairly easygoing ride. As Max climbed back in through his window to his undisturbed bed, he heard the spirit settle on the roof to keep watch for the sunrise. And, taking comfort in not being discovered and in the knowledge that next year, when he’s a teen, he won’t have to worry about any of this, Max changed back into his pajamas, settled into bed, and slipped into a deep sleep.

#jakalwrites #paranatural #pnatsecretsanta #pnat #paranatural secret santa 2020

12 notes · View notes

normal-thoughts-official · 4 years ago

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She's hilarious but there's two videos where she starts to speak more mumblingly

ok first of all these are brilliant and i'm losing my mind and i love you, thank you for curating these to me.

i will transcribe them in a bit but i just felt the need to leave this "little" (it's long sorry) note:

as someone who's been raised catholic i just want to say that she is pretty wrong about almost everything she said about catholics, and i say that as someone who hates catholicism with my whole mind body and soul and who's been traumatized by this stupid fucking faith to the point where i can't get into a church without breaking into sobs dauihdasiuh. the catholic guilt is real but catholics are absolutely allowed to divorce and use contraceptives, and also have sex before marriage. the first one is met with some guilt esp from women altho honestly i think it's more due to mysoginist reasons than religious reasons, and the second and third ones are commonpractice and if you say that it's wrong and bad everyone will think you're a fucking weirdo

and even with the divorce thing, while the guilt is there (im pretty sure half the reason my mom doesn't divorce is because she would feel guilty about it, although again, i feel like that's got very little to do with religion and way more with internalized mysoginy), i cannot stress enough that divorce is allowed, almost everyone i know has divorced parents and they're all catholics. the church's official position is kinda weird (as of now pope francis basically said that it's "morally necessary" in some cases but he also referred to ppl who divorced and remarried as "imperfect", but like, it hasn't been forbidden for years, so much so that people get second marriages at catholic churches literally all the time, and i kinda feel like ppl overestimate how much ppl care about what the pope says. at least here in latam, cuz we've always kind of freestyled religion since it was imposed on us anyway, but like... in my experience the average catholic practitioner is INCREDIBLY less conservative than the vatican and i feel like most people don't even know what the pope says or doesn't say. and i'm saying that as someone whose grandfather almost became a priest and only gave that up because he fell in love with my grandmother, and he's been a ferverent catholic his entire life. also two of his kids divorced, one married a divorced woman, one is gay and living together without marriage with his divorced boyfriend, one never married, and one had two kids before marriage which necessarily means that they fucked, and none of that was ever a problem to him. oh, also, my dad had divorced AND he was a buddhist when him and my mom married. currently he is a spiritist)

i think it might be possible that u technically have to ask for "permission" to the church to remarry in church, but in practice i think it's more of a ritualistic thing than actually asking for permission, cuz i've never met a single person who had them say no. it was pretty much "hey local bishop guy so my husband sucked and we divorced can i marry again" "sure lol". obviously it sucks that you even have to ask, but it's nowhere near as strict as people seem to think

the contraceptive thing is also absurd. like i cannot stress enough that my family would absolutely flip if they found out i DIDN'T use contraception. that was always something that my family reinforced very strongly, ESPECIALLY my grandpa. i've never met a single catholic who does not teach their kids to use contraceptives. my high school was catholic (literally named the Holy Cross, fun times, although they didn't impose the faith or anything. in fact almost half of the students in that school are jewish, but like, still, there was a priest in the school board) and we were taught to use contraceptives, put the condom in a banana and the whole pizzazz during biology class

like yeah the bible says not to but it also says not to mix different fabrics and that doesn't mean it's actually a thing that's reinforced in most catholic communities doaihdaj at least not here in latam. in here non-catholic christians are actually way more hardcore about the puritanism rules than catholics are, particularly evangelicals, which are kind of overtaken the catholics' traditional role of being colonialist fuckers as they are mostly from the US so they come to further US imperialism through religion here. watch out catholic church they're coming for ur crown

and even outside of puritanism, "non practicing catholics" are absolutely a thing like ppl who are catholic but don't even pray or go to church, much less care about that shit douahdsaohj so like the stereotype that all catholics are like the very small minority of hardcore catholics is like the stereotype that every muslim lives by the ultra-conservative muslim rules. it's not true and it's stereotypical and taking the minority ultra conservatives to be the rule when they are not

there's also the fact that there are many different currents of thought inside the catholic church (a little bit like with judaism although way less flexible than judaism is), some of which are very conservative, some of which are progressive. here in latam in particular the teology of liberation is extremely popular (it's the one my family subscribes to, and i'm pretty sure it was actually born here in latam) and it's pretty progressive. for catholics, that is

and like mandatory disclaimer that i am coming from my own experiences with latam catholicism, which i feel is different from other catholic countries - my polish friends for example have experiences with catholicism that are a lot closer to those stereotypes than mine ever were - but since most of the catholic population in the world is brazilian (like me), and second place goes to mexicans, i feel pretty comfortable taking it as a ruler to measure general catholic practices

with that being said, however, the catholic church can choke and die in a fire as it is a symbol of colonialism first and foremost, its proselitism is one of the worst things ever, and even the progressive currents are still way too damn conservative for my tastes. i just don't feel comfortable transcribing something that i know is incorrect and stereotypical (and that in some cases is used to further oppression like with the Irish in the UK or armenian catholics, and i've even had some US-diaspora latinos hear some incredible things from gringos who assumed they were catholic, or, in their beautiful words, "had latino religion". but obviously in most cases catholics are the oppressors, especially here in the third world)

also, her assessment in the third video is absolutely correct. A/B/O IS just conservative gender roles born of christian and catholic imposition transposed to a fictional world where the genders have slightly different names, which is why i, as a rule, hate it dauhdsaiuhdauhda and even though the assessment that catholicism is thaaat much more conservative than other christian religions (it's absolutely not, it's Exactly As Conservative) isn't true, catholicism is still where most if not all of western conservative rethoric is born of, and ugh, it's so refreshing to see someone understand this and put it into words so well

so yeah keep that note in mind but anyway, transcriptions:

[Video transcription #1: in reply to a tiktok question, which says, "now i'm thinking about the catholic guilt that would come with it oh my god". user @Omarsbigsister is saying, "good morning", she then covers her mouth as she starts to laugh, before continuing, "I guess I'm the religious omegaverse tiktoker now. I did not know catholic guilt was more than just sex, I thought it was just about sex, but nO. people who are catholic, if you don't know, they get guilt over every little thing, they get guilty when they eat, they have guilt when, like... [dismissive gesture] they have fun... it's messed up *cut* [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] in which you HAVE to be bonded before... *sticks tongue out* *cut* and catholics, from what i know, uhm, cannot get divorced, so you can't be unbonded, you're stuck for life with that alpha or omega, and then you can't use contraceptives so if you have a heat or rut, good luck, you cannot escape it, and on top of that, they preach abstinence, right, so if you're having a heat or rut in your teen years you just gotta deal with it alone like you are not allowed to be bonded, so, that would be really intense."

#2: in response to a question, which said, "follow up question: if in the real world hijabis are women, in ABO universe would hijabis be omegas of all genders?". the user is shown stroking her chin in contemplative silence for a long time, before she says, "actually, both men and women have to wear a hijab, it's just more visible on women, but men also have to cover from like, the neck all the way down... so like when you see them [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] that's their hijab. *cut* Islam is actually treating men and women, like, fairly somewhat equally, so, I feel like in omegaverse alphas, betas, and omegas would all be held to the same standards, and alphas and omegas would also be held by the same standards but then culture would ruin it, just like western culture has ruined it. for your other question. 'would muslim families prefer betas more, and would betas be spiritual leaders', i feel like everyone prefers betas more, but then also Islam came to like, uplift women [a written note then shows up, which says, "like girls are seen as a blessing to have as kids"], so like omegas would be seen as like, a blessing to have as a child.

#3: in response to another tiktok question, which says, "fun fact bestie you cannot get divorced in the catholic religion even if your spouse is abusive and horrible to you so in omegaverse how would that work?". she replies, "the reason that Abrahamic religions seemingly fit so well into the omegaverse universe is because catholicism specifically and christianity, uhm, all the gender norms and all the cultural norms especially in the west came from catholicism and christianity, they were forced on people, and then you know, people might not be religious, but the norms stay. but now you have omegaverse which is basically just a bunch of like youth exploring the youth through this, like, werewolf fanfiction trope, using all these gender roles that you have in society on their head, so, really, what i'm saying, is that... omegaverse is just catholicism fanfiction"

#4: she looks at the camera and says, "getting islamophobic comments is one thing, but getting islamophobic comments that say that muslims cannot be in the omegaverse".... she then breaks into laughter for a solid 30 seconds

#5: she is shown reading out loud, in a mock-outraged face, a tweet that says, "about to murder tiktok they try to make Ramadan a 'quirky' trend. it's a religious holiday. stop it, get some help. /srsly /g.", then a follow-up tweet, which says, "saw a tweet saying on tiktok they are asking questions about how ramadan would work in omegaverse. i'm done with y'all, just say you disrespect muslims and go". then another tweet by a different user, which says, "i tried to read, i got secondhand embarrassment-" they then break out of character and say, "oh, that's fair," before going back, "if it wasn't ramadan i'd be boxing those people right now. those people should be ashamed to even think that way wtf". then another, which replies, "well i'm not celebrating it, so as a non-muslim, i'll happily box them". then, back to her normal voice, she says, "i really was just making a silly little tiktok and seeing that stuff really hurts... i'm just kidding, i can't keep a straight face. you like minecraft youtubers, what are you gonna do to me? what are you gonna do to me?"

#6: in reply to a tiktok ask, which said, "prince philip was an omega". she slowly films herself as she takes a walk, finds the nearest trash bin, and tosses the phone there, before putting the lid over the box. end ID]

#i hope u dont take that as me being mad at u anon #honestly i could care less if ppl offended catholics #i just dont like spreading misinformation and once i started writing i couldnt stop #the videos are still amazing and spot on tho except for the first one #long post #discourse #catholicism tw

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simptasia · 5 years ago

Text

lost characters based solely on how i portray them in my text post memes

jack: constantly crying and/or screaming. no emotional stability. no social skills. terrible bedside manner. endearingly bland. into powerful women. loves the red sox... a lot. daddy issues. doesn’t believe in himself. has shitty tattoos. being crushed under the weight of everybody’s expectations. more or less hot. he is not cool at all. repressed attraction to guys. chronic hero syndrome. adorably embarrassing as a dad. passionately and violently overreacts to the mere concept of people believing in things. mansplains but in a non malicious way because he is literally that oblivious. gets into fights a lot. dissociates in mirrors. gets injured a lot but doesn’t wanna make a fuss. thinking about caves

kate: desperate need to protect women. bi. is frustrated by jack and sawyer’s personalities but wants to fuck them oh so much. rowdy. feminist. biceps. will call you out. is love with claire and jack and sun and- she has a lot of love to give. she can be ur angel or ur devil. exasperated. doesn’t understand astrology but she’s trying. she’s the slytherin friend every hufflepuff needs. uses guns. doesn’t know how to cook. go to relationship advice is “dump him” or “suck his dick”. just because you put things in her vagina doesn’t mean you know her. gemini

hurley: sad clown. haha laughter! hiding real pain! has debilitating mental illness. he’s doing his best to stay positive. virgin. genuinely kind soul. overwhelmed by food. awkward around girls he likes. much smarter and wiser than anybody thinks, including himself. a special boy who we all love. says dude a lot. the only valid rich person ever. doesn’t like himself. sees dead people. kinda silly. also he’s fat (but i don’t joke about it in a cruel way)

sawyer: compulsive need to nickname people. from the south. bewildered by charlie’s english slang. covering up vulnerability with jokes and being mean. loves juliet. is an asshole but a loveable asshole (this varies, mostly he’s an asshole). conventionally attractive to the point of boring. got a Thing going on with miles. can’t stand daniel being smart around him. babies freak him out. treats animals poorly

locke: very supportive and new agey type. i’ve made two jokes about him encouraging people to jack off, that wasn’t on purpose but Okay. he doesn’t know what its like to have friends. he says Deep Sounding but odd things. he’s super duper into nature. he suffers. he’s very forgiving of ben to the point of absurdity and he desperately wants ben to love and fuck him. or maybe they are fucking. Who Knows. he loves knifes

sayid: sexy, suffering shannon fucker. he doesn’t respect boone. his life is an endless parade of misery culminating in going on autopilot. respects women

jin: he has no idea what’s going on and his life revolves around sun

sun: beautiful. perfect. very passionate about gardening

claire: bi. frequently ignored. cutesy and sweet. super into astrology and new age stuff. her cheery demeanour can only hold on so long before she loses it. kinda dumb. has baby. vanilla, at least for now. loves charlie but is kinda frustrated by him. goes feral and “kitten thinks of murder all day” sums it up

charlie: that he needs attention and validation to survive would be a gross understatement. bi. trans. punk. stupid. english. really horny and slutty. adores music more than anything. drug addict (again, i refuse to be cruel). severe jealousy issues. inferiority superiority complex. hates himself but will get offended if you hate him. can’t take any form of criticism. is bewildered by sawyer’s american-isms. bit of a madonna whore complex. smol but will go the fuck off like a terrier nipping at ya heels. catholic and riddled with catholic guilt. goofy and obnoxious and he knows it. passive aggressive. terrified of bees. nice ass. mood swings. did i mention he’s short? anyway here’s wonderwall

ben: ugly. just plain terrible. beaten and bruised. seething with rage and pain on the inside. virgin. liar. just causes problems on purpose. resembles a lemur or rat, rodents in general. loves bunnies. doesn’t think sex is real. just a really bad idea for him to be around juliet. has no friends. doesn’t care about other people. says creepy shit just because. he knows he’s a terrible person. killed people. the friend nobody likes and a general nuisance to the other characters

(also my literal first text post meme about ben was a joke about him eating his parents??? 2014 sapphire, i wanna talk...)

juliet: mom friend. seems very calm but she’s screaming on the inside. basically she’s the This Is Fine meme. depressed. has big tits. low-key kinky. feminist in a very gentle way. has no ill will towards kate and will only fight her for fun. concerned for daniel’s well being. has no chemistry with jack. loves sawyer. flat measured calm way of speaking. she’s breaking apart at the seams but will offer you a nice glass of water :)))

michael: has a son..... uh...... enjoys minecraft?

(i’m sorry)

desmond: scottish. drinks. easily and constantly confused. magic psychic time powers, like visions and electromagnetic dimensional stuff. easily angered. fucked off by the concept of time and destiny in general. hhhhhhhot

smokey: Hello Fellow Humans I Promise This Is My Own Skin Haha

miles: bi. aro. loves money (trying to fill the hole in his heart with money and things). emo/punk. pretends not to care but he really does care. thinks emotions and romance are dumb but of course is emotional... and kinda wants love. but not that he LIKES you or anything. exasperated. thinks everybody else is weird. kinda slutty or at least trying to be. masochist and into BDSM. mean to daniel for no reason. daddy issues. resting bitch face. jaded, bitter and salty. responds to romantic things dan or char say with vulgar or mocking comments. grew up poor. can hear dead people. trying too hard to be edgy. deadpan snarker. Fuck Off I’m Not Sad Don’t Look At Me [cries only around the audience and his mom]

walt: becoming older than 10 was when things went downhill for him

shannon: seems vapid but is more than that. deeply insecure. feels she can’t do anything right. constantly put down as worthless by other people. yeah she’s sad but she Looks Great. wants sayid to pound her (mood)

(gee, that was dark)

richard: very old and ageless. sees ben as a son figure. really not holding it together. seems smart but he has no fucking idea whats going on. cult mindset. quips curtly back at miles’ vulgar jokes. in love with miles based on very little interaction. misses his dead wife. has a cute giggle. is also hot. overwhelmed and just wants to go into the jungle and scream

frank: doesn’t understand what anybody is talking about. the only normal person here. doesn’t understand these kids today with their weird kinks. just wants to sleep. pilot. bit of a conspiracy theorist

boone: bi. stupid. soaked in blood a lot. (L I T E R A L L Y all of my boone jokes are about him being dumb and bi and horribly injured and combos of those. i haven’t even made any incest jokes! what the actual fuck)

ana lucia: “[with tears in her eyes] DO U WANNA FIGHT??”. highly volatile. lesbian. bros with jack but will roast him. angery, sad and underloved

daniel: bi, agender, neurodivergent, just, just especially brain weird. The Scientist trope but kind of a shitty scientist. smart. in love with charlotte. in love with desmond. likes rats a lot. talks weird and soft spoken. withdrawn and polite but with bursts of bitterness. his mom won’t let him live the live he wants to live. time travel weirdness. loves music. gifted kid burn out. has a mental and emotional collapse. thinks a hydrogen bomb will solve all his problems. skinny. touches people a lot. he’s not okay. romantic. overwhelmed. memory problems. his lack of life experience and softness is used to contrast miles. takes some statements literally. pretty vanilla (for now) and doesn’t know what certain kinks are. likes that charlotte is Tough & Rowdy. doesn’t swear much. bad hair. was unhinged in college. has radiation poisoning

libby: neurodivergent and in love with hurley

eko: yeah... i’ve legit only used him for jokes where charlie says something EXTREMELY vulgar and eko says “go to church”

charlotte: bi, loud, passionate, beautiful, angery, knows All The Languages, huge nerd, loves daniel and thinks he’s a Snack, outspoken feminist, archaeologist/anthropologist and wants to explore some fucking ruins, The Lost Lenore trope, loves chocolate, exasperated, great smile, subtly insecure, doesn’t get that she could just tell daniel how she feels, has had many indiana jones like adventures (off screen, of course), for example: crashing her dirtbike into all 7 wonders of the world

danielle: french and unhinged, has seen some shit

alex: just a young lady with no chill

jacob: suffers from terminal apathy. has little understand of human behaviour. doesn’t care about people. he just plain sucks. has no endearing qualities. causes many problems. beats the shit outta richard. doesn’t like technology. so removed from humanity that he’s a touch uncanny valley

christian, eloise, charles and anthony jokes each have their own kind of flavours but fuck it, i’ll sum them all up as: contemptuous cunts who deserve to die

aaron: just a baby boy. does baby things. has like 5 parents

vincent: a dog. a good boy. does he know more than he lets on? is he mysterious? no, he is just a dog

#and as you can see this is 98% accurate #this is mostly just a summary of these people pfffttt #interjected with memes and orientation headcanons #i haven't made many jokes about sayid or sun or jin or michael #i haven't found them very dunkable #it's not like im avoiding them either #i just work with whatever joke sparks with me #anyways holy SHIT i make so many different kinds of jokes about charlie #you can tell the ones i favour making jokes about from this huh

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feisty-fae · 4 years ago

Note

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

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ziracona · 5 years ago

Note

Ohmygod I want like all of ur headcanons they're all so good. Oml. Would it be okay if I settled on meg headcanons or Dwight & Jake hcs? God you write them so well it makes me so happy

Thank you so much! <3 I know you asked this like this morning, and sorry about that, but I had a lot of fun answering it. Ended up doing Meg. I’m not sure if you want general, or post-ILM so I just kinda did some of both? And got carreid away, haha, it’s gonna go mostly under a read more. :’-)

Meg’s mom did a great job taking care of her growing up. Meg had a hard time making and keeping friends, because she’s full of energy and passion and also very ADHD, so she has a big personality and will talk all the time about what she loves and is a whole lot (in a good way). But a lot of people growing up did not enjoy that about her. Meg wasn’t great at shutting up and acting or lying or falling into a role to get kids at her school to like her, and also just didn’t understand why the rest of them would do that, and didn’t mesh well. With each time she was not accepted, she got a little bit more bristly and ready to defend herself, and it kind of became a self-fulfilling prophecy. It wasn’t like she never had any friends, but she never had any close ones, and a lot of the ones she did have kind of dicked her over for someone else, or moved on, and that was rough. Plus, her dad left her when she was a baby, she was poor, she was loud, and she was Bi. This gave kids a whole lot to bully her for. And they sure did.

Meg’s a fighter, though, and didn’t take shit—she got into trouble a lot, and was mad, because (as y’all who’ve been in the American education system at least know) the faculty never cared if she’d shoved someone because they called her a slur, or said something shitty about her mom, or that she’d punched someone because they’d followed her out of school to say nasty things about her, or that someone else had shoved her, or poured something on her book, or provoked her first. Didn’t even care if it had been four on one, or a guy had come up and fake asked her out to make fun of her in front of his friends—didn’t care about any of what was being done to her, or that she’d just been defending herself. The worst they ever did was talk to the other students, and that just made them want revenge and didn’t stop jack shit. Because of that, she really started to resent faculty and got a huge rebellious streak. She used to get in trouble all the time, before joining track, at her mom’s suggestion. Then, finally, really for the first time ever, even if she didn’t have friends, she had a pack, and that was something. Team didn’t have to like her, they still worked together so they had some kind of a bond and couldn’t just flip, and their track teacher would care if things got nasty, because it lowered performance. Plus, she had natural talent, and a bunch of energy, so it was an ideal fit.

Childhood was all still pretty damn rough though. I wouldn’t say she was miserable all the time or anything, but she was constantly tired of it all. There were some good parts, though. And she had some casual friends she was pretty chill with. Even a kind of almost girlfriend her last two semesters (although that was not exactly the world’s most stable relationship either. Still, not all bad.) While she wasn’t ever tight with them, there were several people at school who thought she was really cool too, because not only would Meg always defend herself, she also was ready in a heartbeat to throw hands for anyone—especially someone weaker or smaller than herself—she saw getting shit from classmates. She was a roaming vigilante of school hall fury by 10th grade, and had earned a certain amount of respect and fear, and a pile of detentions and reprimands, and parent-teacher conferences where her mom chewed out teachers and staff for ignoring the parts of all this where her daughter was getting bullied. Meg used to actually love parent-teacher time, because she got to watch her mom rip people she hated apart, and it filled her with glee to have somebody else fight for her.

Even with school all sucking, Meg had a pretty good childhood basically exclusively because of her mom. Her mom had to raise a kid as a single parent when Meg’s dad abandoned them while Meg was still a baby, and it wasn’t easy. She worked full time when Meg was little as a postal worker. That was unsustainable, though, with how life was going and her wanting and needing to actually be physically present in her kid’s life, so she ended up finding employ as a ghostwriter, and switching to that. It was almost exclusively terrible and ridiculous romances she would get a fraction of the pay and no credit for when published, but Rachel Thomas found a way to make that funny and enjoyable both to herself, and her curious little daughter who would waddle up to her and ask all the time what Mommy was doing and to hear her stories. She would pick safe bits and read them as silly and funny as possible to amuse Meg and feel okay about what she was spending all her time on, and it worked. It made the work enjoyable, when otherwise it would have felt tiring and worthless. Rachel got to be happy with it instead.

She always worked super hard to give Meg a good life, even with very limited resources. She taught herself how to do things like use pencil dust to check for fingerprints when Meg was super into Nancy Drew books as a kid, and how to pick locks, and then taught them to Meg. Meg loved growing up in that house, because her mom was the best. She was always ready to hear about whatever fascinating new thing Meg had discovered, or to pick up a toy sword and go have an epic battle in the backyard as people they’d made up to be. She passed on a love of movies and music and dancing, too, and because she knew that life was rough for Meg, even as a young child, Rachel always went out of her way to make holidays huge productions. Got one really cool present that always had to do with whatever story Meg was the most into usually, and a lot of fun little ones to go with it, so she could open a whole pile of gifts even though the only one who was ever there to give her any presents was her mom. Meg kinda just grew up thinking of holidays like that because of her, and did as big productions for her mom too (to the best of her age-relative ability).

It was super hard on Meg when her mom got sick. I mean, I think it would be on anyone (who had a positive relationship with the parent, or probably even a neutral one), but she took it really hard. She’d been super excited about finally getting out of her hometown and going to college on a track scholarship she’d worked incredibly hard for, but then this had happened, and of course she’d come back to look after her mom. It was really awful though. She wasn’t sure if her mom would survive. At first, the situation had been like, go to college, or go home to help your mom get better, but she realized after a little while with a sinking feeling that it was starting to look like something else. Like give up on your one chance at being able to pay for college, or come home to watch your mom wither away and die while you can’t do a fucking thing to stop it. Her mom had always been a strong and fun and full of life person, so much like Meg herself, in a lot of ways, and she got sick so fast, and so bad. They even looked a lot alike—not just in biological features, but they kind of dressed similarly by nature, and Meg’s mom had also always kept her bright red hair long and liked it like that. Sometime when Meg was little, she’d called her mom’s hair a “fire mane,” older Meg could only assume because she’d been reading picture books about horses, and her mom had loved that and teasingly called it that forever after. The second night after she started chemo that her hair started to fall out, Meg got home to see her shaving her head in the bathroom, because it had been coming out in clumps she hadn’t been able to stand the way that felt. Meg felt heartbroken, and went over to join her and took the scissors on the sink and started to cut hers off too in solidarity, but her mom stopped her and begged her not to. Meg cried and told her she wanted to do it, and her mom comforted her and kissed her on the forehead and asked her to please keep it for her, so that when she got better, she could look at Meg’s as inspiration for what she wanted to get back to. Meg finally agreed, but it was really hard. Harder still to watch her getting weaker and weaker until she just couldn’t do any of the things she used to. And then one day her mom’s doctor had come back and told them he was sorry, but that treatment was failing. She could try a few experimental avenues, and there were people to contact, she could keep trying this in case there was a change, but that she probably only had another year at most to life.

It had been beyond devastating. Meg hadn’t known what to say. Or how to think or cope. She’d just walked out of the hospital feeling shellshocked. And when they’d gotten back in the car, her mom had asked her to pull over at a Wendy’s, and bought them both frostys, and Meg went through the motions, and parked in the lot. And when they were there, her mom had started to eat hers slowly with a spoon, and looked her in the eyes and said, “Don’t worry, Meg. I’ll get better. I promise.”

And Meg had looked up and seen she meant it somehow, even with what they’d just heard. And her mom had said, “You know me. I’m a fighter.” and that had been true, so Meg had sniffed and nodded and said, “Me too. We’ll try all the options.”

Her mom smiled at her and they ate their one dollar treats and went home to research, but Meg had still kind of believed it, because she always believed her mom. She’d had hope then, that she might not die. Even as the weeks went on and she got sicker. And then Meg went for the one jog she didn’t come back from.

Meg and Dwight were the first two to really band together. They survived a trial together and made it to the same fire, and Dwight just unloaded like a whole plan to start systematically picking up other people they met, and theorizing about leaving with them to make it to the same fire, and banding together to survive better, and Meg was kinda ‘no thoughts—head empty’ because she was exhausted from trying to outmaneuver the Nurse, and he was talking so fast and she hadn’t listened at all to the first few lines and now she was playing catchup, but she’d been like, “Oh. Worm I guess?” and agreed. Meg kinda thought Dwight was a pushy little dumbass, and he kinda was, but she also kinda liked him, and waaay faster than Jake did. Meg’s an extremely loyal person, so even though unhooking her and helping her out, or giving her a tool he knew she was better with than he was was just good strategy, Meg’s heart went “Friend saved me” and kinda kept it, so she didn’t mind “New friend is also annoying and full of himself and kind of a douche.” I don’t think she really noticed his change in behavior at first. Just one day like, a month after he’d started working hard to be less of an ass, she was sorting a new toolbox post-trial, and he paused by her and was like, “Hey! Great job in the trial today. Sorry I messed up your escape during that chase—I misjudged how fast he was and thought you’d have time to hide. You really saved us with that last-second chainsaw dodge getting the door open. –Oh here, I found these in a box and I’m still pretty shit at flashlights, but I saved them for you,” and gave her some batteries, and she was just like, “Cool. Thanks. And it’s fine—I almost tripped right over Claudette’s hiding spot yesterday.” and then when he was like halfway back to the fire she was just like WAIT A SECOND and sat bolt upright and stared at him and was like, Didn’t you used to be kind of pretentious and inconsiderate? When did this change??? And was never totally sure, but was pretty jazzed about it. She also remembers way less well than Jake, Ace, or Claudette that Dwight did used to be a loser. If someone else told her that she’d be like, “Oh yeah…huh.” but she’d never really think of it on her own.

This is kind of more a Dwight one than a Meg one, but one of the specific events that was a personal changing point for Dwight was back when it was just the OG four, before even Ace had joined, they had a hard trial with Trapper and Meg was really down. Everyone passed out before Dwight, because he was trying to plan and stayed up, and he noticed Meg having a nightmare and after a minute woke her up because she looked so scared, and she thanked him and then was quiet and just sat there, looking miserable. After about ten minutes he decided to ask if he could do anything to help, and she said she was afraid to go back to sleep, because she thought she might just pick up where she’d left off, and then hesitantly asked him if it was okay if she came over by him, because she thought it might help. He was super surprised, but said yes, and she came over and lay down beside him and leaned on his chest fell asleep. And it felt really nice that someone would seek him out for comfort, and trust him to watch over them. The first time they stayed at the same fire, she’d given him a look and said, “Promise not to come over here while I’m out if I take a nap?” and warned him she was a light sleeper, but she hadn’t even jokingly reminded him of anything like that now. She just trusted him. It made him want to be worthy of that and a lot more.

[ I want to do more bc I’m super into Meg rn, but my word count is shooting me dirty looks so ima do 2 real short post-ILM Meg and call it a night—happy to do more or your Jake-Dwight sometime though. <3 ]

Tapp helps Meg take courses and study up, and gets her certified as a PI, and she actually does really love it. They work cases for cheap for people who need help, and do it together, and it’s very rewarding. That’s not the most sustainable full-time job, but Tapp’s got a little money saved, and David’s…David. Plus, collectors will pay weird money for realm merch sometimes, and Min is…scarily. Worryingly good, even, at finding those people to sell to. So she also has a lot of time to do other things. She can’t exactly do track like she did, but she does long-distance runs for charity, and has fun, and gets to go visit her friends all the time. She loves being able to say she actually is a private detective, and feels like she’s come full circle from being the little her who loved Encyclopedia Brown and Nancy Drew and Agatha Christie books so much. She’s able to help her mom, too, so her mom is able to actually spend time writing the kinds of things she’d like to, for once, and Meg’s super happy for her and still spends a bunch of time with her, often her and Susie, who her mom took to really fast, together. Meg loves to ambush Susie with gifts when she’s working on stuff and make surprise visits to drop off a drink or something, and thrives on the embarrassed-happy Megggg look on her face if she pulls off flirting in public just right. Sometimes Susie will come with her and Tapp when they’re working to try to help, or just to spend time, especially for the like, long research parts of the job. Meg also makes sure they see Michael Tapp a lot, and that Tapp takes time off to do fun stuff with her and his other friends. She is still definitely trying to get him with her mom. Or Jane when Jane’s there. Or her mom and Jane. Sometimes Ace is in the mix when he’s there. And it all ain’t subtle. It’s rough out there being Meg’s even vaguely parental figure. :’-)

Like Tapp promised, he and Meg get a dog. A retired K9 whose handler died a few years ago, and been retired when that happened because it was old enough it had been set to retire that year or the next, and it took the loss of its handler very hard. With its handler gone, it was open to adoption from other force members or retired ones. It was an old dog that had been alone for a long time, still missing someone dead, so sad looking. Outlived his best friend. Tapp had checked the database on impulse alone when starting to work on honoring Meg’s request, and seen it, and wanted badly to take it home. He’d been kind of nervous asking Meg about getting it though, thinking she would want something that would live longer, but she’d jumped at the chance and been really happy. The German Shepherd had been named Partner, because that had been the sense of humor his handler had, and Meg thought it was cute, to always be saying, “Come on Partner,” to a dog. He had been really sad looking when they’d gone to pick him up. Lonely in the back of a pen, nose between his paws, watching people go by, and hesitant when they’d gone inside. Quiet, all the way to the car, and the whole drive home. Just sat in a seat, looking out the window, no matter how much Meg petted him or talked him, or Tapp did, and then they’d gotten home and taken him inside, to a bed and a food bowl and water dish, and he hesitantly ate, and then started to wag his tail a little. They took him out to the yard after to play and he finally got it, and it was like seeing a totally different animal. He got excited, and barked for the first time, and ran around pretty fast for an old dog and would come press his forehead against their legs while wagging his tail, like he was hugging them, in a way Meg had only seen dogs do a few times. He is now a very happy pup who likes to hop up on the couch and put his head in people’s laps and watch them lovingly while they watch tv, and sometimes puts the old skills to good use if he’s in the mood to walk around and lend aid to a case.

#ask #anonymous #ilm spoilers #in living memory (fic)#in living memory #meg thomas #💙💙💙💙 thanks for the ask!#long post

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tenpin-boleyn · 5 years ago

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Rebellious Parr at School!

These were thought up by @wolfies-chew-toy and I- mostly MB- because Cathy going through teenage rebellion is I C O N I C

There are some teenage Anne in here too but mostly our girl Cathy P 🖤

Also I’m sorry about the length- I’m on mobile so I can’t add a read more :)

•Anne got her heelys confiscated, so she decided to sandpaper the bottom of her shoes so she can slide around like a penguin. No wheels? No problem.

•Catherine being the feminist icon that all teachers fear:

“NO I AM NOT READING ROMEO AND JULIET AS ITS A DEROGATORY REPRESENTATION OF WOMEN AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH”

Then Catherine promptly gets removed from the class.

“Catherine don’t you have English right now?”

“Don’t you have your funeral!!.... oh my god Mrs lynn I’m so sorry” because Cathy is a badass but she still has feelings

•Confusing the teachers on a daily basis:

"Hitler is kinda like Kim Jong Un dont you think?"

"Miss Parr and Miss Seymour what are you talking about?"

"Miss, isn't Kim Jong Un rather like Hitler?"

"Please stop discussing your Kpop idols in my class."

•The school has different colors led name tags for the different years, eg. Seventh year, yellow, eighth year green etc.

You can bet your ass Parr has a name tag in each colour and wears them all at once. It ranges from her actual name to Catradora. She has a name tag that just says CatParr420 and wears it everywhere.

And 90% of the time she wears a blank one and carries around a marker

“Umm excuse me what’s your name?”

Which prompts Cathy to draw on a fake name.

“Anita Willtolive”!

•She draws penises on all the whiteboards of every class she enters in permanent marker.

•One time the school used a drone to film the morning assembly and the noise annoyed Cathy so much she picked her book from morning reading up and h u r l e d it at the drone.

All you can hear before the recording stops is “YEET”

Did she get detention? Yes

Was it worth it? HELL YES

•You can bet your bottom dollar that Anne is in that detention too.

Anne's reasons for detention range from stuff like chatting to general shenaniganery but Cathy is just oPEN DEFIANCE

•She only is nice to her classmates

•And selected teachers

•She's a dick to everyone else

•But if she sees a kid on their own she’ll go out of her way to be lovely to them and to that one annoying teacher she hates, she’s a hell raiser

•She once moved the empty table next to her desk away to the other end of the class to stop teachers from sitting next to her- whilst the teacher was trying to sit at said desk.

•Catherine openly questioning EVERYTHING

“But if everyone is only nice to get into heaven surely that defeats the purpose and they’re being fake”

•She would fall asleep in front of the teacher

She'd just yell goodnight really loudly and knock out on her desk

•Honestly it’s a wonder she hasn’t been kicked out, but Jane thinks it’s because her grades bring up the school average

•She does her homework the moment she gets it and is finished by the end of the day

•Anne just puts in her file and lets it rot

•Parr gets in trouble for handing in Anne’s homework that Parr did but Anne has no idea. Cathy just wanted to make sure she didn’t fail

•Anne teaches Parr how to get discounts in the cafeteria, because Parr needs free cookies.

•Parr is Anne's defender when it comes to detentions

•She gives the teacher her Stare™️ and they instantly clam up

•Their detention desks are side by side and they have like those partners in crime necklaces but instead of two halves on their necklaces they’re carved into the tables

They they put them together they just line up

“Parr scares all the teachers except the German teacher who is literally Satan.

•Anne looks scary but she is basically harmless

•Parr looks like she wouldn't hurt a fly but given the chance she would 100% bite her teacher's hand off

•Anne has like five piercings and the messiest uniform in existence while Parr has only one piercing in each ear and the neatest uniform in existence but the moment Parr opens her mouth you better run

•She once bit a first year because they got in her way

•Cross any of Parr's friends or Parr herself and you might as well drop out because you'll be on a hit list for your whole education career

•She’s got a little black book of people that’s annoyed her because eventually she forgets but she’s too petty to let her memory get the better of her

•Anne has been on it at least once but Parr always strikes her name out

•She once kicked Parr in the stomach trying to show off her sandpapered shoes

•The shoe flew off and hit Parr in the stomach

She would have screamed at Anne but Anne’s puppy dog eyes are irresistible

Especially at 12 years old because she’s literally a baby

Like not even in a sexual way, you just can’t say no to those eyes

•Seymour has also been on the list once

But Parr got her revenge

What did Seymour do? She keeps taking Parrs highlighters

So Parr makes her pay money for every time she uses her highlighters

And one day a teacher sees and thinks it’s a drug deal

Every late payment is + 1 quid

Jane knows better than to accumulate late payments because Parr is ruthless when it comes to money

•When a classmate lost Parrs calculator and didn't pay her back, Parr literally carved owe money pay money onto her desk and got that person's friends to remind them daily till they paid her back

•Every time that person saw Parr in the hallways they'd turn around and head the other direction

•Tardies don't matter when the most trigger-happy person in school is out for your blood

•The day that she’s sat next to Parr in the seating plan is the day she moves schools

•Even then Parr still tracks her down

•She waits for them at the school gate with the most murderous smile on her face

•You just see Anne behind her chewing gum, snapping her fingers and doing jazz hands

•And the person is rapidly dialing their parents while screaming MOM COME PICK ME UP I'M SCARED

•Suddenly Aragon pulls up with the others and shouts at the pair “get in losers we’re going shopping”

"How the hell did you even find them Cathy?"

"I just followed the smell of crippling debt and it led me here."

“No seriously how?”

“Anne never turns her snapmaps off”

•Also Parr made the PE teacher cry more than once. More than twice. Okay it was 27 times.

•Parr has a pen knife and people try to confiscate it but she just brings out a printed sheet of paper that says that “a knife may be carried as a self defence weapon if it is under 9 inches and is retractable”

•She made the history teacher quit.

•One time she threatened to give someone salmonella because they were giving Anne and Kat a hard time

•Both Anne and Kat are in special ed and someone thought it'd be funny to bully them cuz of it

•She was skipping class in the toilets and two girls walk in and start bad mouthing Anne and Kitty so she kicks open her door and looks at them whilst sucking a lolly pop “hello bitches say goodbye to ur eyebrows”

•Parr is super defensive of the two of them

•She teases them sure but if anyone else tries, they have to sleep with one eye open

•Anne and Kat don't understand why people keep coming up and apologizing to them

•When they ask Parr, she just shrugs and smiles

•Parr used to be super motivated back in year seven. When year eleven rolled around, she became a little more rebellious, first the name tags, then the mouthing off. Then it escalated further and further. No one else but Parr and Anne knows what happened to cause this change

•Parr is soft for Anne and Kat and Anne and Kat alone

•She roughs up Aragon, Seymour and Cleves bc she knows they can take it. She's soft when she needs to be and not many people see that side of her

•Her favourite teachers rarely see that side either. Only during teacher's day when she sneaks into the staffroom to give them homemade cookies

•Parr wears leather jackets to class and no one dares question her.

•Anne learnt Chinese and how to play the guitar during detention so that she could sing for Parr the next time they had a session together

•Anne singing Unchained Melody exactly like in ghost the musical, and does the little elvis riff too

•Parr and Anne facetime and do Kahoots together because they need to study aka theyre competitive as shit

•Cathy gets excited in class and stands on her chair and yells "I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK. U COMING TO KILL ME???" And promptly gets removed from the class.

•Parr gets a "Little Miss Adventurous" award for having the most travelled converstation.

BONUS:

•The queens doing that egg project where they have to bring an egg home and keep it for a week

•Anne calls hers Eggward Eggburt.

•Aragon drops it the moment she gets it

•Anne brings the egg home and makes it into an omelette

•Jane does well till the sixth day where she goes fuck it and uses it to bake cookies.

•Cleves breaks it during lunch after Anne called her a name and she threw it at her

•Kat gives hers to Jane and it's baked into chocolate chip cookies

•Parr shuts hers in the fridge for a week and takes it out at the end of the week

•Anne gets asked where her egg is and she pats her stomach which results in Kitty yelling “YOURE PREGNANT?!”

•Jane gets asked where her egg is and she holds up this cookie jar and offers the teacher one

•Parr is praised for being the only one in class for having an intact egg and then she grabs the egg and breaks it on the teacher's head cuz she 'needed to shut up'

#anne boleyn #six the musical #millie o'connell #aimie atkinson #katherine howard #catherine parr #catherine of aragon #grace mouat

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unfairaddiction · 5 years ago

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Sharky x F!Rook

Follow Dep and Sharky as they go from strangers to enemies to best friends to lovers. Idk how long Eden's Gate was in Hope County, but it sounds like they were there for awhile and I imagine in the beginning people didn't really mind there presence.

And I just like the idea of the Dep being kind of involved with the Project and just being in the dark about their activities.

You know she went to the local high school

Probably one of those kids that didn't belong in a group.

She was one of those kids that floated around from group to group.

Still an overall good kid, not really in the party scene and not really a rule breaker.

Sharky was always getting into trouble and wasn't a great student.

The Deputy was and they ran in completely different circles.

Didn't stop the Dep from having a major crush on him in high school though.

Rook always felt like she was missing out, and Sharky was, in her mind, living his best life and she wasn't.

Sharky probably didn't even know rook existed, if he did he always figured she was one of the goody two shoes, not really his type.

Sharky remembers the first time he actually saw rook tho.

He was running from the cops after he lit a fire somewhere nearby and Rook was probably studying outside.

He had nowhere to go but into the tree she was sitting under, and the wide eyed look she was giving him told him there was no way she hadn't seen him.

He scrambled into the tree, fully prepared to fight from his perch.

The cops came sprinting around the corner as Sharky settled into his tree, getting pinecones ready to hurl at the cops.

"Rook!" Everyone knows everyone in Hope County. "Did Boshaw come this way?"

Sharky never thought that a good nerd like Rook would ever lie to the police.

"He ran that way!" Rook cried and pointed deeper into the woods.

Cue the Deputy's giving chase because Rook would NEVER LIE.

So Sharky takes her out as a 'thanks for not turning me in' and she has her first drink, shitty moonshine, sitting on the hood of Sharky's rusty pickup,that has her laughing too loud and has her stumbling over her words.

Its funny to see Rook, who is usually so put together, drunk off her ass.

Sharky sees her in that moment, that she's just as lonely as he is, and for a minute he doesn't feel so alone.

"I jussssst sssseee you laughing and you-you've got people ya-you know ?" Rook rambles. "I don't have people. I-I've got a f-fu-future, I've got no time for people. That's what my dad say-says anyway."

Sharky's a little drunk too, and he kisses her while she rambles, and there's some fumbled over the shirt action.

Sharky's mouth though, finds a way to cock block himself.

"I always thought you were kind of a nerd, you know, you're actually kinda hot in the right light." And it really wasn't what he meant to say.

And Rook recoils almost instantly, and she's hurt, and the alchohol only makes it worse, so runs away into the Montana wilderness.

Rook really should be smarter than that, but she's drunk and her feelings are hurt so she runs.

Sharky feels bad and he really planned on running after her but a the self doubt tells him to just leave her alone and that he needs to sleep off the moonshine.

Rook makes it to the road, and she doesn't WANT to hitchhike, but she can barely walk straight and she can't go home when she's drunk.

Her parents would not be pleased, and she knows her father might hit her and her mom would give her that disapproving look.

So she walks along the, mostly, deserted road, not expecting anyone to come by.

She's met Joseph Seed a couple of times, but she's only met John in passing.

John offers to drive her home, because he can see she's drunk.

And she's a talkative drunk so she tells him that she can't and she's afraid of what her parents will do.

And John is sympathetic, or at least he appears to be, because he's been there, and he sees the perfect recruitment opportunity here.

So he let's Rook stay the night at the ranch to sleep it off, provided she agree to some volunteer work for the church.

It's not a bad deal all things considered, her parents wouldn't be looking for her in the morning, they wouldn't be surprised if she 'left early' for school, and she knows they aren't worried about her now since her phone isn't going off, so she goes with John.

When Rook is in her right mind she tells herself how stupid it was to trust John, a man she barely knows.

Luckily for her, this is before the cult is torturing people enough to be a known fact.

Her parents are fairly religious, not go to church every week religious more like quote the bible when its convenient and going to services on Christmas and Easter.

So they are thrilled when she gets involved with the church.

Sharky feels bad and he wants to apologize but now Rook is always surrounded by the kids whose parents are in Eden's Gate.

Eden's Gate is really what sets Rook on the path to being a Deputy.

Joseph who always seems to know everything essentially tells her what she should do, and Rook who desperately wants to belong somewhere does what he says.

She's a teenager and Joseph is the first person whose like 'hey, u don't ACTUALLY have to be perfect all the time its ur intentions that matter'

So Eden's Gate becomes a home away from home for her, because she may not really belong among the overzealous believers and she can't really be herself but they come when she calls, and they ask her how she's doing.

She doesn't talk about that night with Sharky though, she told John when she was still drunk and crying but he hasn't brought it up.

She still misses that connection she had with him but she's decided that it was probably the alchohol and not a real thing.

Sharky drops out of school and Rook graduates, top of her class, and she joins the sheriff's department.

She and Sharky work on opposite sides of the law.

Rook is the only one that can bring Sharky in without Sharky putting up too much of a fight.

He's still kind of a jerk to her and the more she arrests him the more aggressive he is.

"You the big bad law now? You think you're so much better than me? Just cause you've got that degree don't mean you're better than me."

Sharky never brings up that time she helped him escape from the lawmen chasing him.

She asks him why once.

"I ain't no snitch. You helped me out, I repaid the favor. We're square." And that was the last time they ever talked about it.

Rook isn't as involved with the church anymore, but she still answers when John/Jacob/Faith/Joseph call.

When things go to shit and Rook recruits Sharky they become begrudging allies against the cult.

"I thought you were like sucking John's dick, I don't blame you he's kind of hot, I get it."

"Shut the fuck up Boshaw."

They slowly become friends, because they actually have a lot in common.

We see their friendship in game, and I can easily see it turning into something more romantic.

Because let's be honest, Sharky likes to joke and flirt with Rook, and Rook maybe starts to think that Sharky was the friend she needed.

Eden's Gate helped her when she was young, but she was pressured to join this group that ended up being this cult.

And Sharky feels bad about pushing her away because she could have been this amazing influence on his life, at the time.

He especially feels bad because she never would have been involved with Eden's Gate if he had her back that night instead of letting her run into the wilderness.

But, you know they forgive each other and they become crime fighting buds and they have this beautiful relationship based on trust and mutual respect for each other and their experiences.

That got long lol, this has been in my drafts forever but I wanted to post it cause I like the idea of it, I'm just a bad writer.

#far cry 5 #sharky boshaw x deputy #sharky boshaw #i love sharky #the deputy #can u tell I've never been drunk b4

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likeshipsonthesea · 6 years ago

Note

If you're doing prompts, 19 and 24 for nurseydex

for au mash up 19. Summer Camp AU and 24. Soulmate AU

okay so in this universe, as per any soulmate universe, soulmates are A Big Thing. the way that soulmates work–let’s have some fun here– when you touch your soulmate for the first time, they leave a color in the spot they touched you. it has to be skin-to-skin. this will become important later.

so in this world, since soulmates are such a big thing–almost everyone finds their soulmate, the only typical cases that don’t are people that die young or people who are aro, though there are platonic soulmates and poly and such, bc we’re inclusive here boyos– but because they’re so big and common and everything, there are a lot of industries around them

psychics and palm readers have specialized skills to tell you what your soulmate is like, bio-medical companies sell drugs that tell you how long it will be until you find your soulmate (sketchy, but people are desperate) and the weirdest one, imo, is the send-away summer camps for children to find their soulmates young.

yeah. weird.

there’s science to back it up, saying kids who kind their soulmates at younger ages live longer, healthier lives, and the matches between those soulmates is much stronger and, now, with the advent of social media, kid soulmate findings always go viral

so now onto our story; nursey’s parents all have very big work summers coming up (his parents are one of the few poly soulmates in the world, his dad is aro and platonically bonded to nursey’s mom and mama, who are v gay and v in love, and they all live together happily in a beautiful brownstone) so they ask him what he wants to do for the summer and he shows them the brochure for the Summer Soulmate Camp in the rural part of maine.

why did nursey choose this one? he’s a romantic and thinks the greenery is the perfect place to fall in love, it won’t be too hot for the summer, he can go swimming, and they have a hockey rink. it’s perfect.

(also, sidenote, i imagine he’s about ten or eleven here, dex is the same)

so though nursey’s parents are a little hesitant, they also want their son to be happy, so they buy him all the gear he’ll need, drive him up to maine, and kiss him goodbye on the first day of camp.

nursey takes to the camp immediately–the food isn’t great, very bland, but the people are so nice and there’s so much to do and he can’t wait to find friends, even if he doesn’t end up finding his soulmate. his roommate is a great guy–named chris, but goes by chowder– and he’s so enthusiastic and he tells nursey he plays goalie in hockey so when the day comes to join the hockey group on campus, they both head down to the rink, bouncing and excited.

this is, of course, where dex comes in.

dex, a sullen, tiny, perpetually frowning little dude gets matched up with nursey for d-man. despite nursey’s initial hesitation at such a little guy being a d-man, dex soon shows his worth by checking the opposing forward hard.

“will, buddy, we’re not checking in this league, okay?” the coach, a well-meaning woman with smile crinkles next to her eyes.

dex stares up at her. “if i’m not checking anyone why am i even here.”

there may or may not have been an expletive in there somewhere. we’re not going to mention it if you won’t.

and you might be wondering, “hey why is dex being such a dick” or maybe you’re just like “mm in character” (ur wrong but whatever) but here’s the story. these summer camps are usually reserved for people who have the money–there’s only so many spaces and aside from the soulmate thing, they still have a bunch of amenities and it’s for the whole summer. by all rights, dex shouldn’t be here.

but then last winter happened, and he fell down during hockey practice, and the doctor explained to the poindexters–little mama p standing tall, resolute, her husband holding onto her waist in support, dex’s older brother j, finally not wearing an asshole’s smirk– that dex was sick. badly.

and see, dex is fine. like, the chemo sucked and his hair falling out sucked and everyone looking at him like he’s a weak little useless fucking– it sucks. but that was months ago, and it’s sort of in remission now, and though the doctor says it’s probably going to come back and they’ll have to do another round of chemo– dex is fine okay. the buzzed hair doesn’t look too bad and he’s stronger now, he can play hockey again.

but the cancer scared his parents, and his extended family, and though they all believe in the natural meeting of your soulmate, they all silently agreed that dex didn’t have the time to wait. the only thing sadder than dying young was dying without a soulmate.

so they scrounged up the cash through all the branches of their family tree and sent dex to Summer Soulmate Camp, and now here he is, angry and isolated and ready to check any rich prep kid that looks at him funny on the ice.

as you can imagine, nursey and dex don’t get along well at the start.

dex isn’t much into soulmates and doesn’t keep his opinion to himself, and nursey is so wholeheartedly romantic that he can’t imagine not thinking about your soulmate every day. “they’re the one person who can make you the best you can be,” nursey says, one day after practice, and dex scoffs.

“if you’re not good enough on your own, how the hell is your soulmate being chained to you gonna make it any better?”

they also argue about money things, but mostly brand names that dex doesn’t know, or international trips nursey doesn’t realize is a luxury. to be fair, none of the other kids know this either–nursey at least tries to listen

(he’s too young, really, to understand how his blackness has affected him in a similar, possibly more visible way. later on, he’ll read books about slaves “given permission” to marry their soulmates from masters, the interracial couples that ended in mobs driving the black man out of town–or worse– and the history of black soulmates being restricted and demeaned and made to feel less than. now, now he only notices being the only mixed boy in the room some of the time. now, at least, is a calm before the bliss is broken.)

but the thing that comes along with all of nursey and dex’s arguments is that they come to know each other better than anyone else at the camp. even chowder, who tags along with them all the time when he isn’t following after the girls’ volleyball team (he hasn’t touched farmer yet, so he can’t know, but he really likes her smile and she’s the best at doing handstands), even he doesn’t know how nursey feels about books the way dex does, after the late-night talk around the bonfire when nursey got rambly and giddy and dex just.. listened

and it takes a while before dex talks about the cancer. back home, everyone knows, but here he could pretend. nursey doesn’t tell everyone–dex almost expected that he would, but that was more on him than nursey– but he listens and nods and doesn’t pity dex, respects him maybe, cares, but no pity.

and that night, sitting on the end of the dock in a rare unsupervised moment, nursey nearly reaches out to hold dex’s hand in comfort, and dex nearly hugs nursey when he says, “fuck cancer” in the most emphatic, simple, comprehending way dex has ever heard, but neither does. they’ve learned, in this culture, the importance of touch, and both boys are too scared to find out, to break that last barrier. this could be enough. this should be enough.

the rest of the summer is spent in a haze of friendships and salt water and trees and scraped knees and laughter, and all of them swear that they’re gonna text, call, facetime, whatever. they’re going to keep this up. they’re going to be friends forever

they’re not allowed phones at the camp, so they write down each other’s numbers– just dex’s, actually, because he’s the only one who can remember his home phone number– and nursey and chowder swear to call when they get home and give dex their number (chowder also has farmer’s number, now, and her mark–smudgy and bluish purple on his shoulder from where she tackled him trying to spike the ball in a game on the beach last week. his, teal, is on her palm almost in the shape of a heart)

on the day of pick up, dex’s family shows up first–closer– and he and nursey are forced to say goodbye. “i guess this is it,” dex says, hefting his duffle bag strap onto his shoulder.

“no it’s not,” nursey insists. “i’ll call you. i will.”

“yeah right,” dex says, but he’s smiling anyway, and something about the moment–two boys, from such different worlds, somehow so similar in all the important ways, stand in front of each other, having never touched but knowing every little thing– something about the moment makes it so, suddenly, being soulmates doesn’t matter.

they’re friends. no matter what their colors say, that can be the most profound relationship they ever have.

“see you, nursey,” dex says, impulsive, and reaches his arms up to hug nursey close. nursey, startled, wraps his arms around dex. the hug is so unexpected, so quick, that neither of them feels dex’s forearm brush against nursey’s neck, neither of them notice the spread of green–on dex’s arm– or orange– nursey’s neck

later, after dex’s dad pulls in the driveway of their house, dex shoves open the door he’d slumped against when he got in the car and absentmindedly goes to wipe off the mossy-green stuff on his arm only to see it and freak

nursey, since his is behind his head, isn’t the one to notice his mark. it’s only when he’s going up the stairs in front of his mama that she yells something about “papito why didn’t you tell us you found your soulmate?” and nursey drops all of his bags and races up the stairs to the bathroom to try to use a hand mirror and the bathroom vanity to see the sunset dex left on his neck

but here’s the drama, right, nursey goes for his bag to find dex’s number and call–and he can’t find the paper it was written on. he scours his stuff to no avail. his parents call the summer camp, but they legally can’t give out information, and nursey doesn’t know the name of dex’s town and– you get where i’m going. they can’t find each other. they lose touch.

and both boy wonders what could have been, dex wonders why nursey didn’t call (probably develops a complex, whatever) and nursey wonders why dex never tried to look him up, and nursey hopes that dex’s cancer didn’t come back and dex hopes that nursey is still the romantic he’s always been, but they don’t see each other for another seven years.

what happens then? well, these hockey nerds go to take a tour of this cool college called samwell and, well. the rest i’m sure you can figure out from there.

(excerpt from the aftermath; a frequent fight

“i can’t believe you lost my number”

“i can’t believe you gave me a mark i can’t even see”

“i can’t believe you wanted to go to a summer camp to find your soulmate when you were ten”

“i can’t believe you didn’t–”

“nursey, dex, please can we just pick a place to eat and go?” poor baby chow

boys; “well, i had cancer, so i think i should get to pick–” “hey, you can’t pull the cancer card every time you want to eat at the grill, it’s not fair!” “i lost my hair, derek!” “so? you shave it all the damn time–”

chowder’s stomach rumbles. he texts chowder frowny faces and she sends back a cry-laugh and a wink. he gets no sympathy for his plight.)

#nurseydex #dexnursey #check please #nursey #derek nurse #dex #william poindexter #my writing #sort of fic #this was fun #the ending is a bit meh #but i liked the story

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imjustyouraveragenoone · 6 years ago

Text

why u sucked

since my mind keeps replaying all the reasons u were perfect, here are the reasons u were fucking far from it.

1. ur ex drama. u dumped me for ur ex, then u realized that she was not right for u so u hit me up again. u got jealous that ur best friend was hitting me up and made sure to put an end to that really fast by making moves on me while u were still w ur ex. then u talked to me for a good period to follow thru on ur own ego problems and then proceeded to hook up w ur ex. who the actual fuck does this. stick to ONE u absolute manwhore. if u were so in love with ur ex why would u flirt with me while u guys were together, if u were so in love with me why would u hook up with her while we were talking. u literally just dont care about anyone but ur motherfucking self and it took me way too long to realize it, it took me my literal parents having to split us up for me to see the damage u did.

2. u never made any effort to come see me. everything was on ur schedule, if u didnt want to hang out with me, u would go off. if u were horny, u would stay on. no explanations needed. if u felt like opening up, u would. otherwise, just pictures of ur eyebrow. i was constantly the one running around in circles trying to make this work. i decided to come see u in the morning, i would be the one who would come stand by ur friends at the end of the day, u never would fucking ask me to. unless, of course, it was whether u could come over to fuck. then, you would ask without any hesitation and beg and plead and do everything in ur power to make it work. don’t think i ever saw that effort in any other aspect of our relationship, hmmmmmm. no sentimental gifts or cute texts. u literally did the bare minimum and for some fucking reason i idealized u for it. mostly because i thought that most girls wouldnt even be lucky enough to get the bare minimum from u, and im prolly right. like u fucked me up SO BAD that one day u were telling me abt some girl u ghosted and my fUCKED UP MIND ACTUALLY WENT “WOW I MUST BE SPECIAL SINCE HE NEVER GHOSTED ME. MUST MEAN THAT HE ACTUALLY LOVES ME.” TF??????????????????????? mental issues.

3. u literally sent me essays about not trusting me and all this shit that made me think that u were breaking up with me the DAY of my sat and then claimed u forgot i had to take it that day. i woke up in such a panic thinking that u were trying to dump me the day of the most important test of my literal life. why the fuck would anyone do that. why. i knew every date of ur physics tests, i knew what was going on in ur life, even finding out things from ur sister because i wanted to know. u just didnt even care at all. like ik u prolly actually did forget but if i was even important to u u would not of ever forgot in the first place.

4. the constant dumping. dude, if ur just gonna constantly pull that shit for u to fulfill some insecurity in ur head and make u feel like u have the power in the relationship, u need help. im sorry that all ur exes were downright obsessed with u and u never had to wonder if u were the one who cared less in the relationship, but just because i didnt do that doesnt mean that u can just keep tryna dump me to affirm ur power struggles.

5. blaming ur own shortcomings on ur broken past. i dont doubt it, but letting ur past define u is not taking u anywhere and ur just gonna end up stuck in ur own cycle of not dealing with ur problems.

6. the literal lack of any kind of ambition, drive and hard work ethic. u work hard to appear cool, to get girls, to get drugs, to do all this unnecessary shit, why u cant put that effort into simple homework assignments so ur not FAILING a class, i will never know.

7. u had every right to get mad at me for being friends with ishan or whatever but i dont fucking think i have ever called u out for being best friends with every single ex u have ever had in fact i trust u so much i dont care that u spend literally 90% of ur time with at least one girl that u have had history with whether its roopa, khushi, and many more that i havent heard abt yet.

8. u hooked up w roopa. bruh. thats just disgusting and u know it.

9. u always came for ME about hearing things from other ppl abt what i was up to. UM. UM??????? do u KNOW the shit i heard about u but didnt even confront u because i trusted u THAT much. lmaoooooo looking back u were a fucking clown for even bringing up that argument. sure, i was far from perfect and i made some questionable choices, but bruh so did YOU.

10. u rlly tried to hit it without a condom. are u fucking retarded. imagine if i got pregnant. forget my parents literally kicking me out. imagine the atrocity of my kids having YOU as a father. nightmare shit..

11. u were so fucking emotionally distant that i literally took every small BARE MINIMUM nice thing u did and fucking RAN with it. looking back its so clear that u rlly didnt do anything special, u didnt say anything special, u did not do anything to prove u loved me. all u were good at was empty words to string me on because we both know that saying shit takes no effort and ur all about that no effort lifestyle. like now that im thinking about it..... what have u done for me? what have u done? said i love you, texted me a shit ton when u were horny, said a bunch of future shit and made me laugh. wow u fulfilled the basic requirements of a relationship, and since u have a nice little reputation for being an asshole, i took that as a WOW HE MUST RLLY LOVE ME. thats actually so sad that i lowered my standards THAT much just so that i could be with u.

12. u made me cry and feel so low for so much of the relationship and i rlly dont understand why i thought we were so perfect. the lows we had were downright unacceptable and u never were able to truly put ur pride aside to tell me how u felt about me besides when we were fighting or u felt like u were losing me and thats how i know that the love we had mightve been genuine or whatever, but its not the love i deserve.

7 months wasted, lowkey grateful my parents pulled me outta that shit bc i never would have had the mental strength to do it and we prolly woudlve ended up breaking up in like a few months bc u hooked up w some unc charlotte hoe or something. yikes. what u have been up to post-relationship is neither my business nor something i have a right to be upset about so im not gonna go off on u for that because i rlly dont have the mental space to care abt what ur up to now.

my next lover better be someone who isnt fucking scared to show that they care about me, someone that respects me, someone that isnt selfish and obsessed with using girls to fill their own shortcomings. love shouldnt be a constant power struggle and i should never have to wonder whats going on in ur life. ur supposed to KNOW what ur boyfriend is up to. its part of a relationship. so fuck u for making me drop my standards to such comical levels.

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akitarusx · 7 years ago

Note

for the "Get to Know Me Uncomfortably Well": 1, 3, 8, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 20, 22, 23, 27, 28, 30, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 41, 42, 44, 46, 47, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 56, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 66, 68, 69, 71, 73, 74, 77, 78, 80, 81, 83, 84, 86, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 100 :DD I'M SORRY I REALLY WANTED TO ONLY DO TWO LINES OF NUMBERS BUT ENDED UP WITH FOUR I JUST WANT TO GET TO YOU KNOW I'M SORRY (i honestly wanted you to answer all but that's a bit too much lmao)

I put them below the cut! I hope I answered all of them / didn’t add extra. lol 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕get to know me uncomfortably well.

1. What is you middlename? Taylor.

3. When is yourbirthday? October 5th!

8. Where are youfrom? South Carolina.

13. What talents doyou have? Uhh. I don’t think I have any? Lol. I used to play piano. Thatwas my only talent. Writing too, I guess.

14. Are you psychicin any way? Lmao no jdfjsfsjdjds

15. Favorite song?Hmm currently it is…. Games – Demi Lovato or Dramarama by Monsta X

16. Favorite movie?Moana.

17. Who would be yourideal partner? Someone who can understand my mental illness and won’tostracize me or belittle me for it. Someone who won’t be overbearingly socialand that is just laid back. Idk someone who’s just super chill and nice. Whodoesn’t look for all out things or expect a whole lot from me and I wont expecta whole lot from them beyond both of us having a healthy understandingrelationship. But, the thing about that is, I’d have to be completely andutterly comfortable with them as in they’d have to be my friend for a good twoyears at least to even have my trust. Which lmao makes me feel bad because Isee so many people NOT having to do that and so then I feel bad but if someonetruly loved me like that I imagine it’s something they could understand andhandle until I’m ready.

20. Are youreligious? Not really, no.

22. Have you ever gotin trouble with the law? Nope!

23. Have you ever metany celebrities? I met Patina Miller! She was in The Hunger Games and she’sfrom Madam Secretary and the musical Pippin to name a couple of things lmao.She’s so sweet.

27. Would you like tobe a big celebrity? No. If I was ever a celebrity, though, I would like itto be like general recognition where I live for cooking.

28. What type ofmusic do you like? I like most anything really?? I wind up liking a songfor beats half the time lol. I like slow songs but I can’t listen to them awhole lot or I’ll get bored / side-tracked.

30. How many pillowsdo you sleep with? 2 to 3.

33. What do youtypically have for breakfast? I don’t eat breakfast – but any childrenreading this you better eat your breakfast or I’m going to fight you. On secondthought, anyone reading this EAT YOUR BREAKFAST AND EAT YOUR MEALS.

34. Have you everfired a gun? Yes.

35. Have you evertried archery? Yes. Failed miserably. Probably cause I was like 10 and weakas hell lmao

36. Favorite cleanword? Uh….beautiful I guess? Lmao I never think abt that.

37. Favorite swearword? Fuck

38. What's thelongest you've ever gone without sleep? 48 hours and some. Dark time lol. 2to 3 days without sleep sometimes.

39. Do you have anyscars? Yes! I have a scar on my left knee from falling off my bike and on asharp rock when I was a kid. I have a scar on my right hand right on theknuckle of my index finger from catching my hand on a metal door to try andkeep it from closing on me. I have a veryfaint scar below that across my right hand where my hand hit the oven elementwhen I was baking a cake and my mother scared me. It’s almost completely gonenow. And on my right arm I have a long scar from a baking pan from when I wasin culinary school. I don’t know how I got it, really. Because it didn’t stingor anything. I just happened to look down and see the burn because my team matewas like Morgan oh my god what did you do lmao. Chef instructor made me putsome gel on it and cover it up so the gel would stay for rest of the class

40. Have you ever hada secret admirer? Nope. Never. Lol :\

41. Are you a goodliar? No. And even when I’m not lying and I’m being asked for the truth Igiggle my way through it t_t

42. Are you a goodjudge of character? Lmao NOT REALLY I mean maybe now I am but back when Iwas younger lmao nope

44. Do you have astrong accent? Lmao probably I’m in the south. I get made fun of thoughbecause apparently I use a lot of northern phrases/pronunciations too. Idk if I’vedone it recently but when I was younger I got made fun of a lot by my grandfathersdfjasdfjsj lmao

46. What is yourpersonality type? Ok I asked my friends this for an accurate depictionlmao.

@kimbeokjin said: both of yall are some fucking WRECKS thatsur personality type. on a serious note ur sensitive and understanding and fullof too much love and anxiety. ur funny and super family oriented and talentedand generally positive. and an intellectual ur truly the ONLY white girl i trust

47. What is your mostexpensive piece of clothing? A red lace dress.

50. Left or righthanded? Right handed.

51. Are you scared ofspiders? Yes and no. Like I don’t inherently fear them, but I always getfreaked out when they show up because I don’t expect them so my scary ass jumpslol

52. Favorite food?Hmmm my mom’s spaghetti/the recipe.

53. Favorite foreignfood? Hmmm I haven’t really gotten to eat a whole lot of foreign food whichmakes me sad but I really, really loved an udon bowl I had at a Japanese restaurantat the beach.

54. Are you a cleanor messy person? Messy.

56. Most used word?Probably mess or childish

57. How long does ittake for you to get ready? Sometimes less than 15 minutes, sometimes up to twohours.

58. Do you have muchof an ego? I don’t think so at least

59. Do you suck orbite lollipops? Both lol

60. Do you talk toyourself? Mostly when I’m cooking

61. Do you sing toyourself? Yes!

62. Are you a goodsinger? Lmao no

63. Biggest Fear?Abandonment. Failure. Not being good enough.

64. Are you a gossip?yes

66. Do you like longor short hair? I love long hair on me personally but I love short and longhair on women and men lol

67. Can you name all50 states of America? Lmao no I always get close so I get like 40 of themnamed then I’m like UHHHHHH

68. Favorite school subject? English.

69. Extrovert orIntrovert? Introvert. Extrovert when I’ve gotta get those extra points lol

71. What makes younervous? Insanely large crowds. Men. Older men to be specific. Okay, yeahall men lol. There are very few dudes I trust but men in public tend to make mesuper nervous when they stare like they were raised in a damn barn lol

73. Do you correctpeople when they make mistakes? Not entirely

74. Are you ticklish? Yes

77. Have you everdrank underage? Heheh yeah …

78. Have you everdone drugs? Nope!

80. How manypiercings do you have? I have one ear piercing on both ears and I had anose piercing but I accidentally ripped it out and couldn’t replace it.

81. Can you roll yourRs? No

82. How fast can youtype? I think last I checked it was 120-130 words per minute

83. How fast can yourun? Lmao I have no idea

84. What color isyour hair? Brunette/dark brown

86. What are youallergic to? Apparently I have a slight allergy to squash onions and appleslol. I am allergic to dust though.

88. What do yourparents do? My dad is a maintenance supervisor.

89. Do you like your age? YES

90. What makes youangry? Racism homophobia sexism etc. a particular thing that makes me angrycurrently in rampant anti-blackness in kpop.

91. Do you like yourown name? Yes!

92. Have you alreadythought of baby names, and if so what are they? I have but…I’m not reallysure lol :\

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I want a girl themost. But I’d love to have a girl and a boy.

94. What are your strengths? I don’t have any I feel.

95. What are your weaknesses? Insecurity.

100. Color of your room? Blue

#THIS WAS A LOT I HAD FUN ANSWERING THEM THOUGH THANK YOU #ask games #answered #kimtaehyungruinedmylife

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toothplug · 7 years ago

Text

ok official spoilery list of what i liked and didn’t like abt tlj........

before i get going i know there will be way more dislikes but i still enjoyed the movie as in I Had Fun but it was an extremely flawed movie. i give it like a 5/10 (tfa for me was like 8.5 even 9 but i’m biased maybe)

likes:

i enjoyed learning the back story of kylo/luke esp from both their perspectives, neat enough

REY IS A GARBAGE CHILD FROM A TRASH PLANET AND NOT A STUPID FUCKING SKYWALKER THANK GOD

good acting all around

That Scene Where Laura Derne Esploded In Space And It Got Real Quiet

some funny moments*

the scene where kylo turns on snoke (some ppl hate that he died, i don’t care as much in fact i kinda liked it but i’m adding a ** here)

Poe had a good arc i guess......

the kylux sex scene i made up in my head

i liked the casino

cute and well designed creatures altho i’m really picky with CGI so sometimes the porgs and crystal dogs or w/e looked a little weird to me but that’s just.....my own issue

When Kylo Ren Stances Up The Gay Icon

When Luke Brushes The Non Dirt Off His Shoulder The Gay Icon

that fucking titty milk luke drinks str8 from the teet that part rocked my world

dislikes:

fucky things with the force that made no sense to me:

snoke connecting rey and kylo, then somehow it still happening after he’s dead

flying leia????????????? wtf??????????? wtf wtf that scene wtf

the following characters got royally fucked in this film: leia (went to sleep, did virtually nothing), rey (everything she does relates to kylo, other than that one thing with her parents and it felt like an afterthought to me, we’re told she grows over the film, but i didn’t see how or when), finn (he does nothing. point blank. does nothing and only interacts with his wittle girlfwiend), rose (also did nothing. the only woc in the main cast and all she does is some stupid ass pointless mission then kisses finn. lame. the dead sister plot had potential but kinda went nowhere), hux (literally a punching bag who lost any sinister qualities he ever had, why was he even here if this was the point), PHASMA???? (she shows up finally for 2 seconds, has the most boring anticlimactic fight in fucking film history, and falls in a fucking hole without us ever SEEING HER FACE?!?!?? i’m so furious about this one. i’m fucking mad bye)

kylo got literally all of the character development/arc other than maybe poe and luke. but poe’s was kinda blah idk it was fine but it fell a little flat for me and luke like had more conflict than others but he basically stagnated the entire time until the very end where he saved the day and then like. died.)

obviously the kiss

*too much humor. detracted from a lot of emotional moments or sinister atmosphere, v marvel film of them to do.

**i liked snoke’s death BUT it ends up kind of fucking up the movie because he’s not replaced with anyone nearly as menacing or scary. neither kylo nor hux/the first order come even remotely close to how legit scary they were in the first film. i mean hux is literally one of the 3 stooges basically. so we’re left with no proper villain which sucks

these characters were literally unecessary:

the DJ or any code breaker at all. why did this even happen. this entire thread with him, finn, and rose was fucking ridiculous. worst aspect of the whole movie. i could like go on abt this forever so i’m gonna stop now

ok wait one more thing: the whole gray morality thing via the weapons dealing is sooooo funny hahahha it was stupid af. the first order has slave soldiers but they don’t have their weapons made exclusively? ok

this pains me to say bc i love her but laura derne. other than her sacrifice, everything she did could have been leia, and we could have avoided literally throwing leia’s character away. i mean she got FUCKED and i’m really mad about it. i dont know why johnson set up this atmosphere with the rebels where apparently leia is god and no one on board would ever defy her or even argue something but i think it’s fucking stupid and bad writing. the idea that poe couldn’t have learned the exact same fucking lesson from her is idiotic. laura derne could have just like been around a few times, established that she’s close with leia, then her sacrifice still means something without detracting from other characters’ screen time. because that’s what she did sorry lmfao

listen it’s so cute and sweet that billie lourd was in it but she was in it too much. i’m sorry like. u only have so much time to develop a shit ton of characters so :( sorry billie.

that stupid fucking white boy with the force or whatever at the end. fuck that. sorry but why him ? if ur gonna do some like Kids In The Galaxy Paralleling The Audience Nostalgia fuck you for making a white boy. just reestablishes that this franchise originally was never meant for me like, this was all just a huge i love star wars wank fest for rian johnson and he clearly sees himself as that little boy which i think is literally dumb. not sure why it couldn’t have been one of the other kids or all three. stupid

this ties in with leia getting shafted but she and luke get to interact for like literally 3 seconds

this movie should just be retitled “Kylo Ren Is Valid And Here’s Why”

i want to point out i’m not one of Those People who hates the idea of a kylo redemption arc or thinks it’s impossible. like i said earlier, i liked getting his and luke’s sides of things and i’m fine with past kylo being painted somewhat sympathetically. but this movie fucking WACKS YOU OVER THE HEAD with it literally NONSTOP.

the rey and kylo stuff was fine in theory but again it happened way too much. i think it could have been condensed into one scene where they connected once

as soon as rey and poe introduced themselves to each other i knew there was a big problem. i had like a revelatory moment in the theater because that was at the End of the film and two of the three MAIN protagonists (imo) JUST NOW MET?? at the end of the second movie. there’s only one more and their relationship is only starting now???? k.

in general splitting the main trio up for the entirety of the film was a shit ass idea

rey had too much makeup on lmfao there i said it

other than the one fight scene with rey and kylo, the fighting fell really flat as did the other action

didn’t like luke’s death. it took me a second to even realize what happened. probably fans of the OG trilogy loved it or at least liked it more but i didn’t grow up with SW and i didn’t care about it until TFA. i had this fleeting thought of like “oh wait were there two suns just then? that’s like....where he grew up or something right oh wait now they’re gone so it was symboli-oh wait he’s dead. oh.” idk it felt really anticlimactic to me. i mean compared to han’s death it doesn’t hold up at all imo

FUCK YODA THE STINKY OLD MAN!!!! that part was dumb as hell and so fanservicey it like hurt my body

overall, the movie did mostly nothing. felt like filler !

all in all i had fun like i said, the movie was p blah, and if the final one rocks which obviously i hope it does, then i’ll be more forgiving. every trilogy has a stinker even if it’s a good stinker, and the 2nd is always the best one to be the stinker imo so. hopefully this one is it.

#obviously major tlj spoilers lmfao #tlj #sw #sorry this got really long lmfao

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resilientreader · 6 years ago

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1-98 for asks like we did a million years ago, I dare you

i knew the MOMENT i saw the notif in my inbox that it was gonna be YOU pulling this shit and i crossed my fingers when actually clicking, HOPING i wouldnt have to answer all 98, maybe you’ll be tame this time, but no! this is what you’re doing to me. and ykno what, Fine. u dare me and i Will do it. i hope u rb the asks post so i can do it to u too, tho

1. coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars

3. bubblegum

4. that smart student who always read instead of actually paying attention

5. soda from glass cups is the best

6. its hard to just Decide between all these styles so ill say which one applies to mine most, which i Gotta say has to b preppy even if i want like goth or grunge to b mixed in

7. headphones

8. good omens, fmab, castlevania, uhhhh. those are just the ones ive watched so far this summer

9. my grandparents’ home. which is kinda weird but i have a lot of summer memories there

10. i sucked at like Everything in p.e., there Was no best

11. leftovers

12. i cant choose a favorite playlist?? /some/ of them, tho, are soar my ethereal heart, neither here nor there, mountainside storms, and sync of my heartbeat. so like any of my more recent ones

13. lanyard

14. i had to google a list for this bc honestly i always eat just chocolates but i like starburst

15. fahrenheit 451 was a rly fun read. ray bradbury’s writing gave me inspo for metaphors and writing and such and it was rly nice

16. sprawled across one of those comfy armchairs where i can swing my legs over one arm n lay my head on the other one

17. my black converse

18. cool temperature and rain without storms, or a cloudy day that lets me take a nice walk

19. on my side if i can but on my back otherwise

20. on my laptop, in google docs, to be more specific

21. winnie the pooh

22. idk?? i try not to look to just one person for a source of “this is how i should be”, so i guess,,,, a mix of family members and then a couple like more famous ppl??? which would basically consist of one of my aunts, my dad, and jenna marbles, to keep my Brain Process for role model stuff simplified

23. i dunno if any of the habits i have are strange?? i bounce my right leg and my right hand kinda. like. shakes when im nervous. i cant rly think of anything else i do tho i Know i probably have other habits

24. amethyst or pyrite

25. ur really just assuming my memory is good enough for this but if i had to say, it’d be any popular song from 2009 specifically

26. hide in my room with a fan and ac

27. read with a blanket wrapped around me or smth

28. atlas: six by sleeping at last, flaws by bastille, atlas: five by sleeping at last, she by dodie, and neptune by sleeping at last. there are probably more/better ones but those are the first ones i found

29. listen. be open with me. talk with me. not to sound like that person, but sharing ur life secrets is a rly big ice breaker for me because it helps let me know i can trust u. but also idk im a really awkward person and can accidentally distance myself from ppl so when ppl notice theres smth up w me or even do the bare minimum of doing Their part to maintain a friendship, that’s always rad as shit when idk how to communicate what i need

30. my room, my high school’s auditorium, the local barnes and noble

31. black boots, black jeans, any button-up shirt that’ll match that combination OR a really cool sweatshirt

32. im a bad bitch, you cant kill me. road work ahead? uh, i sure hope it does. it is wednesday, my dudes! welcome to chili’s. i love you, bitch, and i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch.

33. probably “omg” or “oh my god”

34. sc johnson. a family company.

35. i dont even have one but on a good night like 10-11

36. the troll face memes

37. suitcases feel much more organized

38. lemonade

39. lemon cake

40. ummmmm....one time a tech/theatre kid left a paint can sitting out in the open accidentally and a person took a shit in it or smth then knocked over the can, spilled a bunch of paint, and tried to clean it up w a broom and proceeded to like snap the broom in half. then they ran away to leave the kids to clean it up the next day. i wasnt actually there for that but ive heard the story firsthand enough times to Know

41. my dad

42. jacket pockets

43. hoodie is what i wear, tho everything else is Very Good

44. lavender

45. fantasy, my dudes

46. this set of pjs i got for xmas w a soft tshirt and matching baggy flannel pants

47. colby jack

48. uhhh a banana?? i could probably give a better answer if i was more

49. i dont rly live by a quote or saying, i just Go for it

50. my sister has probably done smth before to like Break me

51. everything ever but mostly myself

52. arial

53. uhhh...kinda worn? my nails aren’t doin so good and i have a couple scratches and stuff that Still havent healed after a few weeks

54. get a move on

55. the ugly duckling

56. tradition is kinda vague but i like that it became tradition for me and my siblings to go to my grandparents’ home every summer

57. i think im still overcoming like everything ive been faced with ever

58. writing? listening, helping, giving advice. idk tbh like talents who?

59. "jesus christ, my dude”

60. a fantasy/comedy, or at least if its gonna be fantasy with death and stuff, it should be dope as fuck

61. "isn’t vulnerability the opposite of being in control?” from a webcomic called aerial magic. super simple but the entire scene leading up to it,,,,,so good

62. umm fuck! i dont kno whether favs r usually ones that i relate to or ones that i wanna b like but??? keith from voltron, jirou from bnha, chromedome and/or rewind from transformers/mtmte, sypha from castlevania, and jayfeather from warriors

63. planetary (go!) by mcr, the seed by aurora, hayloft by mother mother, the cup/halloween blues from relient k, choke by i dont know how but they found me

64. coolmath was THE shit

65. yes! two on my leg from a surgery i had to get to realign my femur, bc i snapped the bone in half

66. lavender, snowdrops, hibiscus

67. i dont really have any, mostly bc i have a hard time attaching like. That sorta meaning to just random objects, but i do still have a small teddy bear stashed safely away in my room from when i was a little babee

68. pickle-flavored pringles. disgusting. would not recommend

69. lions’ roars can be heard up to 5 miles away from the original source

70. right handed

71. horizontal stripes, i guess? there’s not much wrong with them but i just Never wear them

72. math

73. i dont usually eat /weird/ flavor combos, even tho ill eat basically anything, but i like ketchup in mac and cheese sometimes. or fries in shakes. chicken and waffles. stuff like that

74. 11

75. idek honestly, my memory is too bad

76. hashbrowns

77. i dont kno a Lot of plants off the top of my head other than the Basic ones but literally any flower in a windowsill is like bone apple teeth in my mind

78. sushi from a grocery store. publix taught me that grocery stores can, in fact, be trusted when needed

79. my school id photo

80. earth tones

81. fireflies

82. pc

83. writing

84. talk radio is nostalgic but podcasts are always more entertaining to actually listen to

84. polly pocket

85. mythology with a dash of fairytales

86. cupcakes, because of my dog’s name

87. abandonment

88. to grow unbreakable attachments with everyone i care very deeply about and grow into an old age with them, or something

89. i feel like answering this question totally honestly would hurt ppl’s feelings, but also i literally could think of like 4 people to put down for this and i’m bad at deciding, esp w smth like this, so. not to b vague but These People kno who they are

90. becoming a part of a certain website with a bad crowd and managing to pick out the good apples in such a rotten batch

91. boxes

92. lamps /and/ fairy lights

93. i dont rly have any but my parents call me hannah banana. that’s ab it, tho

94. fall/winter? it kinda is inconsistent because fall has bad weather in florida but winter is when like everything has Gone Wrong in life these past few years, but then fall has such a GOOD aesthetic and my birthday is in winter, so they’re pretty even rn

95. uhhh??? thats such a weird thing, to try and assign a “favorite” app, but the only thing i could think to say would be spotify just bc i use it so much on my phone, even if the app itself isnt the greatest

96. i havent set one, actually, bc im lazy and havent found anything that’d fit

97. 2 and a half

98. the part where fish were learning that they could walk on land

#asks #resilientspeaker #trying to put this under read more #but either tumblr doesnt let asks to do that or its not showing me anything #either way if this Does show to b a long post sorry ab that

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get-the-treasure · 7 years ago

Text

school log #1

9-5-17

Happy last ‘first day of high school’ I’m finally a senior let’s fuck shit up.

Assembly: i came in and first went to hug taylor cause jahsbfjfaks i havent seen her all summer nd did i tear up? yeah kind of lmao i missed taylor sm what a gem. then i went by like. the squad (for memory reasons: ???? ppl on the side, jade, bean, yadi, eren, rye showed up, dalon showed up, sammy showed up, ashley showed up, might be missing someone?). eren gave me a bitching smoothie (bless ty) nd i think we all just talked like we normally would. its nice to just slip into normal conversation with people wou havent seen in what feels like forever.

Hour 3 (Homegroup): sat in hg for like 2 hours. we got some new freshman of whom i only can name 3 because i missed the others names. nd i also only kno one of the sophomores by name cause i forgot the others. maybe we should talk w maya sometime? ive seen her around a few times and she looks like shes mostly alone? we got our lockers too. sike some middle schoolers took our lockers and now we have to wait until tomorrow to figure out if we can get them b a c k. then i knocked over the smoothie eren gave me nd like a little came out but not much so um thanks god. we filled out this helping sheet thing that were going to be checked on every monday soooo better keep up on work i guess. also there was a lot of talk of grilled cheese up the ass???

Hour 1 (AP Bio): i turned in my poster board and we just went over the same rubric we went over when i signed up for the class smh. doesnt seem like itll be hard tho? sammy might have to drop it if she doesnt do her entire thing over and turn it in tomorrow and even then he might say no. so heres to hoping. also sabastion sat by our table nd honestly w h y do we have to have mutual friends i hate my life.

Hour 2 (ROPE): went over like oNLY the autobiography part of the rope packet tbh. also amy said we should know who our thesis paper advisors are but 1. i didnt even know what the thesis paper was and 2. the day ended and i still have no idea who my thesis advisor is weLL GUESS ILL SUFFER. im worried i wont have a good autobiography and that i wont be able to keep up with rope, but if i just dont goof around (lol) then it shouldnt be a w f u l. i notice a big student mood is being like ‘i want to die’ when school starts but christ its not rlly that bad? u get a normal ish sleep schedule, its easier to hang out w friends imo, and the work isnt even that hard you just have to pay attention and do it. it kind of bugs me honestly when school breathes and someones like THIS IS THE WORST THING ON EARTH FUCK SCHOOL FUCK ALL THE WORK THIS SUCKS cause its literally not that bad if you just idk. dont goof off all the time. sometimes u can goof off im sure everyone does sometimes. just. do ur work nd dont get so uppity about it. also idk if nyone will even read these but this isnt directed at anyone.

Hour 4 (English 12): our class is huge lmao. sammy and i got seats by jimmy, josselin, and ariel but i think eren wants us to get to class earlier tomorrow so we can sit together w yadi at the back of the room. but we get out of hg when peter lets us out soooo we cant rlly control when he lets us out.

Lunch: there was a lil spider where i sit so i kind of shooed him away so i could sit and i ended up cramping a lot. the worst part abt school imo is the chairs are just as hard as the floor and i have awful pelvis issues so my entire lower half starts to freeze and lock up and it hurts rlly bad getting up or shifting after sitting still for a while, so i fidget a lot and shift positions a lot so i can try and reduce the pain. nyways i played music nd sidney nd alexis sat down by us and theyre really quiet (whenever i would see them in the halls on the way to class and they had a free hour or it was lunch nd id see them they were always quiet then too) and sidney left her chapstick and i hope she remembered to grab it (i told her at the assembly at the end of the day because i forgot to grab it to give back to her). i cant rlly remember what else happened honestly??? thats of noting at least.

Hour 5 (Free): eren and i are probably going to sit in michelles room for this hour since she has chairs and 3 hours in a row on the floor is going to bust my ass so bad. eren started doing work but we ended up just talking and eating and listening to a vine comp.

Hour 6 (Free): sammy came down and we did basically the same as the previous hour but more talking and laughing. i cant remember what we talked about tho?? or nything else?? (edit: we tlaked about fucking and spanx)

Hour 7 (Government): eren sammy nd i had put our stuff down in michelles room early to save our spots (but i bet ill be the only one still at the table tomorrow because they have to go to the front) and then eren nd i left to go to the bathroom then fill sammys water bottle and by the time we came back in michelle was like ‘please arrive on time’ like 1 we were in here first nd 2 the bathroom was packed nd were supposed to go between classes i couldnt piss any faster thanks tho. we got the syllabus and an intro to the class/classroom and thank god jared isnt in this class fuckkkk. also we have to do debates like in front of the class?? no t h a nk you i hate it

Hour 8 (Advanced Drawing/Painting): we just sat around ny amy was like ‘heres what well do’ but ariel sammy nd i basically talked the entire time we all know how art works.

Assembly: a final assembly to wrap everything up with all grades together (since middle nd high had separate assemblies this morning) and i dont kno if we got any important information i think it was just things only 6th graders nd new students need to know cause we hear the same spiel every year. then i guess we all left???

After School: my dad picked me up and hell be picking us up every day from now on (unless like smthn comes up u kno its whatever). he didnt say anything on the ride home unlike when he and mom would both pick us up and theyd both ask a lot of questions. i thought he was angry and i ended up being right. he and my mom got into a bad argument she told me later on and now shes changing the locks so he doesnt have a key. its kind of upsetting how she said i should be civil with like whoever my parents may end up dating nd the entire family and whatnot but she (vise versa) cant even be civil with him or the rest of our family so??? nice example you set for your kids, parents. anyways my dad is also apparently switching up stuff he says like what hell pay and what theyll keep asset wise and how theyd cooperate for our sake and now hes changing what he said during court and all this mess and i feel like hes doing it to spite my mom but hes also spiting us in the process because we rely on our mom. ughhhhh this is stupid difficult to deal w id rather just not have to hear this stuff but moms always on the phone talking about anything and everything and were forced to hear. nyways lol

#im going to put info here for future reference #day 1 #tardy: 0 #absent: 0 #late: 0 #im not counting kims class because i wasnt actually late k thanks

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coquuin · 6 years ago

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u bet ur fuckin ass im sending myself an ask meme bc fuck you no one else will so shit SOMEONE gotta. all the questions for Ezekiel bay bee

the amount of fucks that i do not give is unreal

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

well shit both of Ezekiel’s parents died when he was 3 so obviously he hardly has any memories of them, but! Ezekiel’s father was.. fucking hilarious! the dude had an amazing sense of humor–mightve been a stand up comedian, although not a huge known one?? he was always smiling and just trying to make people laugh! especially loved to make his son laugh the most.

so as you can easily imagine, 3-year-old Ezekiel obviously loved his father. i mean, why wouldnt he. although now that his father is long dead and ezekiel has pretty much forgotten him by this point, his opinion towards what very little he DOES remember of his dad is just like.. “why were you so fucking happy all the time? what was there to be happy about?” but, like i said, seeing as Ezekiel has completely forgotten him, he’s pretty neutral on him and doesnt really have much of an opinion.

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

opinion wise, it’s the exact same deal as his father–seeing as both parents died at the same time. so he neither dislikes or likes her! hes just neutral.

however, as for her personality, she was honestly like the polar opposite of the dad. she was calm and collected, and a little intense. a very blunt woman who would not be afraid to call you out on your bullshit! sort of like Ezekiel now actually :) a lot of her mannerisms and personality traits literally resemble Ezekiel to a T, which he obviously doesnt even realize seeing as his mom has been, yknow, dead for all his life. but underneath that tough exterior, she was a very sweet woman! she was probably a doctor tbh.

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

IN THE CULT.. it was like a literal living hell and EXTREMELY strict. which is exactly what this cult wanted! seeing as it was a Satanic cult especially. BUT UHHH.. i cant go too in depth on how everything was like in that orphanage, but if you REALLY wanna know all the gross details literally just do some research on Satanism or Satanic Cults and youll be sure to find some pretty gross stuff. all of that is what happened to Ezekiel there!

the things i can mention though!! every child had to wear the same uniform every day, they all had the same exact hairstyle (boys had a short bowlcut, girls had long hair which they were absolutely not allowed to style or put up). they were, of course, beaten severely if the orphanage staff saw fit to do so. medieval torture methods were used on them, especially for sacrifices. they were bluntly told, “if you try to leave, the Devil will kill every single one you love and come for you last”–which is honestly why Ezekiel always talks about how “the devil is out to get him” or why Ezekiel feels that he cant get close to anyone, bc he just expects the devil to kill anyone he gets close to! bc, yknow, he ran away. the kids were also often forced to eat or drink bodily fluids which Yeah is fucking disgusting. they only had one meal a day, and said meal was very small–so a lot of the kids starved, and thats why Ezekiel is such a picky eater and refuses to eat a lot of the time! bc hes just so used to having only one tiny meal a day, just enough for him to survive on, and any more than one small meal he always feels like he’s wasted too much money or something. a lot of sexual abuse went on too. YOU GET THE IDEA BY NOW IM SURE SO.. YEAH, IT WAS… BAD BAD BAD.

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

EXTREMELY SHELTERED. he and the other kids in the orphanage were absolutely not allowed to go outside whatsoever. this was because the caretakers told them “THE OUTSIDE WORLD WANTS TO CORRUPT YOU, SO YOU MUST ABSOLUTELY NOT INTERACT WITH ANYTHING THAT IS OUTSIDE OF THESE DOORS!!!” and were EXTREMELY strict on that rule. one time, Ezekiel had snuck out when he was about 7, and brought in stray kittens, which he hid in his room! it wasnt long until his roommates snitched on him and the caretakers straight up just fucking cut off every kitten’s head right in front of lil Ezekiel and then proceeded to beat him afterward. so that kinda fucked him up!!! this is what led to Ezekiel’s reclusive behavior now and his generally being totally silent when he’s around anyone he doesn’t know (although he has gotten a lot better about the talking thing! albeit the fact when he does talk chances are he is saying something very mean. BUT STILL!). even now, he completely secludes himself in his small apartment, even going so far as boarding up all his windows to block the sunlight altogether. well ok he also boarded them up bc he has an extremely bad habit of trying to break the glass but. the sunlight thing too!

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

REJECTION OFC. the orphanage caretakers never even referred to him by his name–instead, they called every child by numbers. in Ezekiel’s case, it was #34. even now, that is his least favorite number.

8. How does your character feel about religion?

he may not seem like it, but Ezekiel is VERY VERY VERY religious!!! after he ran away from the orphanage and later moved to L.A., he actually did convert to Christianity! he always wears a golden cross necklace around his neck and he feels like it protects him from evil spirits–obviously thats all in his head as no evil spirits are really out to get him, but it’s a big big BIG comfort item to him. he can easily recite a shit ton of Bible verses bc he reads that damn thing all the fucking time man. in general, his faith in god is a huge fucking comfort for him, as he always fears the devil is out to get him and whatnot–its nice to think that he may actually have god on his side to protect him.

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

honestly??? hes all over the fuckin place. he surprisingly does have some street smarts to him (from having been literally fucking homeless for a while).

although the only thing he’s really book-smart with is languages–he’s a big linguist! but otherwise, he kinda sucks at smart stuff like math or science or stuff like that–bc he never went to school! he did learn how to read while in the orphanage, but that was really about it.

not too intelligent either??? thats mostly bc he’s literally been secluded from interacting with people like all his life, so he’s just not really good at like.. reading people? and has little to no life skills bc no one ever taught him??

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

ok so despite the fact that Ezekiel never went to school, his vocabulary is actually pretty big! although like i said, he did learn to read in the cult so. that really isnt too much of an issue. but he’s very very interested in literature and language as a whole, and always was even as a child! so even now, he devotes a lot of his time to studying that kind of stuff, and his way of speaking definitely shows it–well, if you can get behind the constant swearing, anyway.

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

he’s the guitarist of the rock band Rogue! his feelings on playing in a band in general is kinda.. conflicting, really. he isnt sure if he enjoys it or hates it. for one, he actually has HUGE stage fright–though he has gotten a bit better about it after playing on stage so many times by now, but it’s still a recurring issue with him and can sometimes cause complications within the band. it certainly is very anxiety-inducing for him, but at the same time… he cant bring himself to just quit, either. not even he himself is sure why he still puts up with the band, but he finds himself drawn to it quite often. he is very very very proud of being able to write music and have it be shown to millions of people though–hearing the band’s singer, Augustine, sing his lyrics to crowds, and the crowd loving it, is probably one of the biggest things that can make Ezekiel happy.

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

well, his first travel was from London, England to Los Angeles, California! and thats where he eventually joined the band! and, yknow, being in a band that tours quite often, now he definitely has to travel a lot. which he absolutely hates. he would much rather just stay home in his stupid secluded cheap ass apartment, but hey, u gotta do what u gotta do

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

when it comes to partners, ezekiel honestly doesnt expect too much from them–just a mutual understanding of each other is all he truly asks for, which should really go without saying in a relationship anyway.

hes not really one for sex! not to say he never wants to do it, though. he does have a lower sex drive than most people though–and the moments he does do it with his partner, it’s gonna have to be very gentle. he couldnt handle anything too rough tbh. also hes a total bottom so jot that down-

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

his home is a fucking MESS. he has a tendency to destroy the entire room whenever he’s having one of his temper tantrums, and this is pretty evident all over Ezekiel’s apartment, bc he doesnt even bother to clean up afterwards. the only time he really cleans up his own mess at home is if its like, food or a drink or something bc he isnt that bad about it but. every room at his apartment looks like a fucking tornado hit him or something. and he couldnt care less what his home looks like! like as long as Ezekiel has a bed, he’ll be alright. he doesnt even like big homes all that much, and prefers to live in something simple and relatively small.

as for clothing, Ezekiel usually just goes for simple stuff. Especially wears a lot of jackets, hoodies, the like. a lot of baggy-ish clothing going on, but he actually is pretty fashionable believe it or not!

hair wise, Ezekiel just has.. no fucks to give. he hardly puts much care to his hair at all tbh. its just naturally curly and a little messy, but at least he keeps it fairly short so it doesnt get too bad. its probably a lil greasy tho.. someone make this boy take a gotdamn SHOWER

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

theres probably several tbh IJOISJERIJ

but most of all, probably both his paranoia and his stubbornness? like he can hardly even function in every day life bc he cANT EVEN COME OUT OF HIS HOUSE BC HES SO PARANOID OVER EVERYTHING. and oh my GOD Ezekiel is so goddamn infuriatingly stubborn like GODDAMN. sometimes its just practically impossible to get through to this guy whatsoever. ezekiel can honestly be a pain in the ass

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

HE REMEMBERS PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING SINGLE FUCKING THING FROM THE CULT.. AND OH GOD DOES IT PLAGUE HIS MIND EVERY SINGLE DAY. like his entire childhood in that orphanage still is so fresh and prevalent in his head that he quite often has hallucinations of the events that happened there, especially when he sees certain things. like cats, for example! seeing a cat will literally send Ezekiel into immediate panic and he genuinely thinks he’s back at the orphanage where he watched those stray kittens i mentioned earlier get their lil heads cut off and he’ll repeat over and over, “their heads are gone, their heads are gone, their heads are gone-” bECAUSE. ITS LIKE HES THERE ALL OVER AGAIN! which is, of course.. yet another reason he hardly ever comes out of his home! bc he thinks “well if i just dont go out then that means i cant see anything triggering that will make me have another panic attack.”

as for forgiving his abusers? OH HAHA ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. HE HOPES THEY ALL DIE OR HAVE ALREADY DIED IN THE MOST BRUTAL WAYS POSSIBLE.

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

Ezekiel either:A) GETS REALLY FUCKING PISSED AND START DESTROYING EVERYTHING IN THE ROOMB) HAVE A WHOLE ASS MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND PANIC

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health?

unfortunately, Ezekiel is very much an addict :( he’s a big alcoholic, and also does cocaine, ecstasy, pain killers, xanax, and maybe some other shit i cant think of off the top of my head. but! hes.. a mess…. save him

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

it depends on the person/people around him! because with anyone that he hardly knows? then he doesnt really give a shit and easily brushes it off, because he honestly doesnt care what strangers think of him anyway. but around people that hes actually close to and he cares about? THEN OOF. HE CAN POSSIBLY HAVE A WHOLE PANIC ATTACK BC HE REALLY DOESNT WANT TO LET HIS LOVED ONES DOWN..

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

of course not!!! although its.. not impossible for him to enjoy someone elses suffering. you would just have to like, REAAALLY fucking do him wrong for him to be like that, which is pretty hard even for him. like the orphanage caretakers! i assure u if they suffered Ezekiel would LOVE that.

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

most of the time hes living in memories, for sure. either that, or he’s just kinda stressed or anxious! but not always necessarily a bad anxious tho! like if hes around someone that he actually likes, he’ll be VERY anxious, but like in a good way! just kinda excited yknow. BUT MOST OF THE TIME, ITS BAD OFC.

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?

VERY SCARED AND DISTRUSTFUL, PRETTY HOSTILE!!! remember hes fucking paranoid about every little thing rip.

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

well, most of ezekiel’s jokes involve swearing and yelling, so probably that! Angery……

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

i think probably like.. parents tbh. or at least a parental figure. he’s only had one person who was like a father to him, but that guy is all the way back in London so Ezekiel hasnt seen him since :( and tbh for like most of his life, he’d always assumed that not having parents was like.. just whatever, yknow? bc you cant really miss something that was never there. but, after he ran away from the cult and he saw like.. people, he saw a lot of happy families and whatnot and just!! hes really jealous of anyone who has a functional, happy family now. it isnt so much that he misses his birth parents, just that he wants to have some kind of parental figure in general. someone that he feels he can actually call family.

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?

what’s sad? the fact that ezekiel… doesnt really have any life objectives! the only objective he really has is to survive. thats literally it. he just doesnt want “the devil” to take him–and to escape the devil’s wrath, ezekiel immerses himself in his religion and staying inside all day and night so that he doesnt have to talk to anyone! thats basically about it

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

he’s pretty tall! 6′3″! although for his weight, i swear to god hes like.. a fucking twig. i mean theres that whole “he only eats one small meal a day” thing, so ofc you can imagine that probably has an effect on his weight. BUT! that isnt the only reason hes so skinny! it’s also bc he has Klinefelter Syndrome, which is when a male is born with an extra X chromosome. so as a result of that, he is a little taller than most people, is very skinny, has weak bones, and breasts! and some other symptoms but i dont feel like listing every single thing so fuck y

as for posture, Ezekiel is usually a liiiittle slouched, but not terribly so! when hes stressed, however, he always stands up completely straight!

ezekiel absolutely fucking hates his body, though. he knows full well that hes not.. the most attractive–ugly, even. you know that “your toes, hand em over” meme? yeah, he looks like that a little bit. his body honestly looks pretty fucking freaky. ALSO HE HAS A LITERAL MICROPENIS SO THATS A THING! all in all, Ezekiel just… is very very very scared of showing off his body to anyone honestly. extremely insecure!

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible?

Ezekiel actually puts on this whole temperamental asshole front specifically to MAKE people hate him! thats why hes so quick to be like “FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT TWAT YOU GODDAMN WANKER FUCK YOU”! because, yknow, most people are usually gonna hate anyone who says that kind of stuff to them and as a result they hopefully wont wanna talk to him! which is exactly what Ezekiel wants. yep, Ezekiel wants everyone to hate him! because if everyone hates him, then they wont talk to him, and if they dont talk to him, then he doesnt risk of getting close to anyone and getting his heart broken all over again! hes a mess……

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

TBH FOR REFERENCE YOU CAN JUST LIKE.. LISTEN TO MURDOC NICCALS’ VOICE BC THATS HIS VC BUT. his voice can switch between either somewhat slow or extremely fast! it all depends on his mood. in his normal speaking voice, when hes neither upset or happy or anything, his words come out a little slow, but not terribly so. pretty normal, mostly. but if hes excited, whether bad or good, he speeds up when he talks a LOT. so much so that he doesnt even let himself breathe when hes talking! just like “FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUIHATEYOUYOUGODDAMNSTUPIDTWATAAAAAA”

his voice in general is a little hoarse! although he has gotten much better about talking to people (even if he is mean when he talks), he did go through practically his whole childhood just.. not talking to people very much at all. so that kinda shows in his voice now? but its not too bad. he has a pretty low-ish voice too.

as for pronounciation and accent, again literally just listen to Murdoc’s voice bc its p much exactly the same as him but. he has a very thick london-cockney accent?? i sure hope thats accurate anyway, im not British so im not 100% sure on British accents but.

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS THE WORST RESTING BITCH FACE IN THE HISTORY OF RESTING BITCH FACE.

ok ill just draw this one

his resting face!

AMGERY!!!!!

talking to his friends!!!

PANICKING

theres probably more i could draw, but in general, Ezekiel is VERY expressive tho! its pretty easy to read all of his expressions and emotions.

#shut up erica; ooc #ezekiel facts #EZEKIEL IS JUST.. A SCARED BOYE 24/7

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