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ragnarachael · 3 years ago

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Out For Revenge: The Revengers Headlining Tour — Chapter Two

Paring: Guitarist!Loki x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 8,585

Summary: Ever since that first gig at the pub, you’ve been following The Revengers—as well as getting closer with Loki, of course—and they’ve gotten big. Big enough to where they’ve landed a small recording deal and secured a headlining tour after their first album takes the rock scene by storm.

When Loki drops in at your job, as he does almost every day now, he invites you to the celebratory party for the big news. That same night, you and Loki further your growing relationship.

Warnings: i will be honest there may be a little bit of angst. it’s not that angsty, but it’s loki being realistic and ur wanting to smack him upside the head. mentions of alcohol, body shots, reader may be a Little Too Bisexual in this (sorry if that’s not ur cup)

Notes: i wrote the last of this fic delirious at 7 am after 6 hours of sleep, listening to the rocketman soundtrack. if this fic doesn’t bang, then i’ll die it’s fine this is fine. hope u all love it!!!

Tag List (if you want to be tagged in stuff like this or any future works, join my taglist here!): @mushroomlupin @mariahlaufeyson @lam-ila @a-lonely-gray-couch @sineads-art @rosaline-black @lokis-little-love @lokis-tigress @radicallyred

F E E D B A C K! | A O 3 L I N K! | T A G L I S T L I N K | WANNA READ THE WHOLE SERIES? CLICK HERE!

Better clothes for you was simply changing out of your work uniform and into mostly what you wear around the apartment—a pair of leggings (they have pockets, you can never go wrong with wearing these ever), a slightly form fitting shirt before tossing a hoodie on over it.

You would dwell on how you look in front of Loki, but considering he said to dress comfortably and your long day at work, you’re not giving any fucks. You give yourself one last look over before leaving your place with your phone and wallet in your hoodie’s pocket, keys in hand.

You pull your phone from your pocket once you’re behind the wheel of your car again, seeing another text from Loki.

You don’t work tomorrow, do you? I don’t want you to feel pressured to coming tonight :(

You cooed, leaning back in your seat while your heart slammed a little harder in your chest.

No! Tomorrow’s a rare day off it’s okay!! I’m heading your way now, be there soon.

Turn that frown upside down, rockstar you don’t look as pretty when you pout.

Part of you definitely debated on not sending that second text just as you hit send—Loki looked pretty doing anything with his facial expressions. Hell, Loki could make anything look pretty, as long it was his face and body involved. You almost took your words back, but once you started to watch those three little bubbles float onto your screen to indicate that Loki was texting back, you just went to quickly tap on the address he sent you earlier. Google Maps was just as fast to start replacing your texts seamlessly as it showed you the address on the screen. You hit the small start button once you were buckled up and had your phone on it’s small vent mount.

Traffic wasn’t as bad as it usually was as you followed the directions your phone told you to take, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that it all seemed familiar. Most of these turns felt like muscle memory, and your brain was slowly placing pieces together.

It was like you were heading to Helen’s complex.

You snorted and shook your head at your thoughts, carefully taking a right turn before stopping at a red light. There’s no way Brunn could share a complex with Helen, is there? You would have ran into her way before this.

Turns out, no, you wouldn’t have. You haven’t. Because before you’re even told you’ve reached your destination from Google Maps, you’re taking a back road to lead into the parking lot of Helen, and apparently Brunn’s, apartment complex.

You can’t help but laugh a little out of shock as you ignore the voice from the app telling you to get back on course before it tells you it’s rerouting. Brunn and Helen. In the same complex. And you haven’t even met her until The Revengers stumbled into your job to eat.

What a small fucking world.

Once you’re parked in a visitor’s spot different than your usual one you pick out when you’re visiting Helen, you’re pulling your phone from your little mount, ending the Google Maps navigation interface and checking your messages. Loki’s sent you two more texts, one a few shocked emojis, and an actual reply of: “I’m always pretty, you’re LYING”

You chuckle at your screen, quickly sending an emoji with it’s tongue sticking out before replying with I’m here! Be up soon and promptly locking your phone again, carefully shifting in your seat to slide it into your leggings pocket. At the moment, you didn’t care to see the other notifications that were probably building up before you’re checking that you’ve gotten all of your things from your car you may need in your hands or hoodie’s pocket and exit your car. You lock it promptly before you’re making the trek into the building.

Brunn is, even more ironically, a floor below Helen. Helen was on the fourth floor, and Brunn was on the third. Less of a pain having to walk up the stairs, but still a pain nonetheless.

As you walked down the hall, quietly muttering Brunn’s room number under your breath, you played with your keys while following the slight loud muffled noise of music.

It’s now that Helen’s complaint from months ago hits you: Brunn was the one below her that threw some massive new year party and didn’t get in trouble for the noise complaints. That makes you laugh softly, the music growing louder progressively before you’re situated right in front of Brunn’s door.

“Helen’s gonna get a kick out of this when I tell her,” you mutter to yourself before shoving your keys into your hoodie pocket with your other things and knocking as hard as you can physically handle on the door so someone could hear it over the music. It didn’t take as long as you thought it would for the door to open once you stopped banging on it, and you didn’t realize how thankful you’d be for that.

You’re even more thankful for who’s actually opening the door.

It’s Brunn—which, you don’t know why you didn’t expect her to answer. It was her own apartment. You smile at her probably tipsy state as she places your face just outside her door. She says your name gently, almost like you’re not even there.

“Yeah,” you reply casually, waving with the hand that was knocking on the door. “Hi.”

“You’re….you came?”

You scrunched your face up in confusion. “Yeah? Loki invited me today when he came by—“

“Oh! Oh great!” Brunn cuts you off with a look of sheer excitement. “Come on in! I just didn’t expect to see you tonight!”

You scoffed dramatically, stepping past Brunn and the door, the song changing from the thumping bass to something a bit lighter. Maybe Helen will have a good night’s rest once she’s back from closing.

“I probably would have found my way here without Loki’s help thanks to that last song,” you joke. “I wanted to come and congratulate you all on the news anyway, may as well do it here, y’know?”

Brunn, who you’ve never seen actually get bashful or sheepish actually blushes and giggles. You chalk it up to her being intoxicated before she’s pulling you into a hug once she’s shut and locked her front door behind you. You let out a small laugh yourself and hug her back just as tight.

“Thank you. Really.”

“You’re welcome. Though, not sure why you’re thanking me,” you reply gently, resting your chin on her bare shoulder, just missing her tank top strap. “You picked me up along the way with your talent, just like everyone else.”

“I know, but—“

“Brunn!”

The two of you nearly flinch away from each other’s embrace due to the random voice calling her name. Brunn’s suddenly all but dragged off to a different direction by the person that was calling her out, giving you a wave. You made a little mental note to maybe try and find her later at this party, or maybe just ask her about tonight some other day.

Brunn’s apartment isn’t too packed, but as you looked around at all the people, it definitely was near capacity. It was comfortably full, but, remembering Loki’s text, you’re worried what may come later in the night. You elect that maybe it’s better to just not think about it, carefully maneuvering around people to try and find the kitchen for a drink of some kind that’s non-alcoholic. You’re not feeling up to that tonight.

Once you made it to what seemed like the middle of the apartment, you find the little breakfast bar cut out to the kitchen, and you feel washed with a huge wave of relief.

And just as you start walking towards the kitchen you ironically lock eyes with the very reason you’re here tonight, Loki.

It’s fairly obvious he was doing a sweep, looking for someone—more than likely you, which has your stomach in all kinds of knots for good and anxiety ridden reasons—and just so happened to fall right on the person he’d been searching for.

You’re smiling, if not grinning at the eye contact as you stop mid-step to the kitchen. It’s almost like one of those movie moments, where it’s like…a slow-mo montage. With a slow jam playing over it. And then the record scratches, of course, when someone stumbling out of the kitchen asks you kindly to move and you press yourself up against the edge of the wall that makes a small hall to lead into the kitchen.

Loki looks like he gives a small laugh before he turns to talk with his friend he’s been standing with, his head jutting your direction. You take this as your own cue to start heading into the kitchen, but still keeping an eye on Loki.

He needs to stop dressing so god damn well. He’s got his fucking leather jacket on over some skin tight shirt and his usual black jeans. How he makes something so simple look so good, you never seem to understand. You watch as he passes off his solo cup to his friend, still talking with them as he starts to shrug off his jacket.

It feels like something you shouldn’t be watching. The second you see bare skin past the black hem of the shirt is when you learn that it’s fucking worse than a tight fitting shirt. It’s a fucking tank top, and now his entire bare arms are on display for you and everyone else in this party to see.

If Loki turned around right now and saw you staring at his forearms, you may just die. But it would be worth it.

His friend nods his head back your way as he takes Loki’s jacket for him in exchange for his cup back as they seem to exchange final words. You stand from your position against the wall to prepare yourself to see him up close and personal.

Right as Loki turns around however, he’s speaking over his shoulder before he’s stumbling slightly as if he’s tripped on something.

You and his friend cackle in unison, across the room, all at the same guitarist. Loki whips around probably to chastise his friend for laughing at him, and that’s when you decide to properly end up in the kitchen. Loki would come when he’s done chewing his friend out and ready to properly talk with you, now that he knows you’re here.

Brunn’s kitchen is slightly bigger than your own, and you can’t help but be a bit jealous when you walk in. There’s a cliché sight of a couple that’s making out on the counter currently before they’re hearing you open the fridge as if you’ve existed in this apartment longer than they have, easily finding a 12 pack of Sprites in her fridge. Thankfully, if not mercifully, they evacuate the kitchen quickly after you finished rummaging around in the fridge to leave you be and possibly go take their session somewhere else. You give a small sigh of relief, and place your cold Sprite can down to go hunting around for grenadine near the alcohol.

You find half a bottle of grenadine near a bigger bottle of lime juice and other mixers before carefully reaching around the glass bottles of alcohol on the counter to grab a solo cup for yourself.

With all your drink ingredients, you set out to make the easiest non-alcoholic drink imaginable in Brunn’s kitchen: a Shirley Temple.

It’s a weird moment of loneliness you feel, cracking open your can and pouring your Sprite into the cup. You’re the only one in this kitchen for the time being and the music sounds as if it’s dully thumping outside of the room. Almost like you’re in the bathroom, trying to cool down in a club, but that’s just the atmosphere of Brunn’s apartment right now.

Weirdly enough, you enjoy it almost as much as Queen’s Pub on Saturdays. Once your Sprite can runs empty into your cup, you’re opening the grenadine. As you start to pour the grenadine, your mind pulls back to Loki from earlier. The way he shucked off his jacket. How he turned before tripping—

“Easy on the grenadine,” Loki says as he walks in, breaking the soft pouring noises into your cup. You almost do as he says, shocked how the man spooked you so easily, only stopping the grenadine just a few seconds after he speaks to you. “Brunn may beat you for using a bunch of that. Her Sunrises are her lifeline.”

You snort, putting the cap on the grenadine bottle. “I like my Shirley Temples with a little too much sweetness, sue me.”

Loki continues walking towards you, finally moving to rest against the counter with his cup in hand. The look on his face is fond, taking in your appearance. “She just might.”

“Oh no,” you reply, deadpan. “Not Brunn suing me over some cherry syrup I could buy her more of. However will I go on?”

There’s a beat between you and Loki as you both finally make eye contact with each other. It’s not too long before you’re both giggling between each other, and you’re putting the grenadine bottle back where you’d found it as well as grabbing a green plastic straw so you can stir your drink around to not get straight syrup.

“So,” Loki starts, coming down from your shared giggle fit after taking a sip from his newly empty cup, “a Shirley Temple? You’re not drinking tonight?”

You shake your head, sipping your drink and very pleased with the results. “Nah, got to drive myself home, and I don’t really feel up to it tonight anyways. Even if it was a long day at work.”

Loki nods in understanding, pushing from the counter and placing his cup down as he carries his conversation with you to the fridge. “I get that.”

“What’re you drinking?” you ask, raising a brow and trying not to look at his ass in his tight jeans while he bends over to dig around in Brunn’s fridge. “One of those cocktails from a can?”

“Nope,” Loki chirps from the cold interior of Brunn’s fridge, pulling out finally after a moment with a green can. “Been indulging with Ginger Ale tonight.”

You scrunch your face up. “Ginger Ale?”

“Yeah,” Loki responds, easily cracking open the can to pour it into the cup just as you did with your Sprite. “What of it? You look disgusted.”

“Because I am.”

“For why? It’s basically your Sprite with some Coke splashed in.”

“That’s why,” you huff in reply, trying not to laugh again at how defensive Loki is currently over Ginger Ale as you sip at your drink. “As someone who does that frequently, I’d rather gag.”

Loki makes a small clicking noise with his tongue as he finishes off the last of the soda that’s in his can before his solo cup overflows, shaking his head almost as if he disapproves of your words.

“Your words cut deep, sweetheart,” Loki quips leaning against the counter, a little closer to you than before. “Anyway, how was the ride over? Didn’t get lost, did you?”

You snort, shaking your head as you begin to mirror Loki by leaning against the counter, too. “No. Actually, I already knew how to get here.”

“Oh?” Loki raises a brow in curiosity. “Really?”

“Yeah, Helen lives in this complex too, ironically enough.” You go in for another sip, watching Loki’s eyes widen in realization.

“You’re joking.”

“Nope,” you pop the “p”, trying not to laugh at how cliché you sound. “I wish I was. Helen was pissed about that New Years party, by the way.”

Loki finds himself chuckling a bit. “Yeah, that one was a little too crazy, even for myself. I hope she’ll never figure out it was Brunn, she may have both our asses then.”

“She’s over it now, but if tonight gets loud, she may just murder all of us.”

“Does she know you’re here?” Loki questions, a small glint in his eye. “Like, here in the complex.”

“Uh,” you start, free hand finding your straw you’re toying with as you swirl your drink. “No. Unless she sees my car when she gets off shift. I did tell her I was coming to the party though.”

Loki nods and brings his cup up for a drink. You pull your eyes away from Loki as he takes his sip, you fear you may actually do more than just stare at the way he swallows, the tank top leaves too much of his neck exposed for your liking.

“She was the one who told me about your note, actually. She found me mid-rush to tell me,” you ramble out, taking interest in the pleasing sizzle your drink gives as you stamp the cup down against the countertop you’re both leaning on. Loki goes on to let out an interested hum.

“Did she—“

“She didn’t read, it, no,” you carry on immediately, laughing out of the sudden rise of nerves you’re starting to feel. “At least, I don’t think? She does know I’m the only one in the waitstaff that has a green pen. She said she saw that.”

Loki chuckles at that, smiling as he shakes his head. “I don’t really give a damn if she read it or not, as long as it got to you, that’s all I cared about.”

You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks at Loki’s words in that damn tone he’s speaking in, as well as his smile and nod back, your smile hopefully just as cute as his.

“How was work after I left, though? It looked like hell just sitting there,” Loki quipped, the two of you chuckling a little.

“It was hell, you’re right.” You bring your cup up to take a sip through your straw, and Loki’s almost quick to make you choke.

“Did you miss me after I left, then?”

He’s fucking cheeky looking as he says it, and it makes you want to kiss the little smirk off his damn face—which is a thought that equally excites you and terrifies you all at once. After you take a moment to swallow and breathe from your sudden inhale, as well as your thoughts directed at kissing him and Loki just being Loki before choking on Sprite and grenadine, you clear your throat.

“Absolutely not—“

“Make way, love birds!” Some random guy shouts as he storms into the kitchen with purpose. Unfortunately, you and Loki are somewhat close to where the man needs to have access to, and thus his sudden shouting makes Loki wrap an arm around your waist protectively before guiding you a bit further down the line of the counters as the two of you are just floundering for a proper reply.

Loki doesn’t have a fair judgement of just how out of counter space the two of you are until you squeak when your lower back presses into the corner of the counter near the stove, crowded in by Loki’s tall frame.

It’s now you feel so little in Loki’s arm, your drink still a safe distance away to where you can sip at the straw still, but Loki’s whole chest is just as far away, if not closer. You can faintly smell the cologne he’s wearing as he replies to the man rooting around the fridge for something he’s not finding, your eyes unable to stay away from how his neck is straining as he glares at him over his shoulder.

You’re focusing enough on Loki’s chest to watch the rise and fall of it as he speaks, and even make out the faintest outline of his pecs, maybe an ab or two. This leads your mind to that deep, dark little crevice of your brain from the one time you’d had a far too sexual dream about him. You wished you didn’t have your mind fly that deep and so fast into the gutter that was your damned attraction to Loki—who’s still trying to coach this probably drunk man in the kitchen to get a fucking drink and get out.

You only realize you’re moving out of the kitchen when Loki’s calloused fingers dig into your hoodie, his huff fully pulling you from your train of thoughts. You’re shocked you’re not stumbling along like a rag doll as you’re trying to piece together where you and Loki are even going.

“Are you alright?” Loki speaks suddenly, gently tugging you around a corner to another main hallway before stationing the two of you against the wall next to an antique hall table. You can’t help the air that huffs out of you when your back connects with the wall, Loki’s arm resting next to your head, just above your shoulder.

“Uh, y-yeah, fine.”

“I’m sorry for cornering you like that,” he sighs, head bowing down to look at you somewhat properly. “I’d rather not deal with some drunkard that I don’t know through Brunn.”

“Yeah, no, totally get it.” You’re shocked you’re even speaking right now, with how Loki’s still towering over you, eyes locked on your own as the both of you calm your breathing from the sudden movement from the kitchen to here, in the hall.

Loki nods, breathing out a soft okay before he’s realizing just how close he is to you and backing off slightly, almost awkwardly before he’s clearing his throat, both hands moving to cup at his solo cup before speaking aloud.

“So. How is Helen doing?”

You should have seen that coming. As well as the other awkward conversation topics to follow. The two of you always have a flowing conversation at Queen’s Pub, but that may just be because Loki’s in his element and you have billions of questions about everything.

However, as the two of you converse about anything painfully, personally cringing at yourself internally every second as you ramble on about Helen, or your newest random hobby you’re trying to pick up to avoid the burnout of working in the restaurant industry, you realize that you’d kill to be at Queen’s Pub. You’d rather Loki rambling about the lighting rigs Brian taught him how to install with Roger. Have one of Brian’s fruity concoctions in hand. Hear all of the cool experiences he and the band have had up to this point—not have to dig up more and more horrifically painful topics to bore him with.

Yeah, you realize, you’ve got nothing to talk about.

“But, uh, yeah,” you stutter slightly, looking down into your cup to mix around your ice that’s melded with the now flat soda and grenadine. “How, um, how was your day?”

Loki seemed like he was hanging on to every word you were saying, though. Kindly enough. “My day? It was. Well..”

You can’t help but laugh lightly at the stress of how awkward this talking period is currently, and Loki seemed to agree and joined you with a light chuckle.

“Sorry. It was good. After seeing you I just cleaned. Watched a few shows.” Loki stops and leans over to place his newly empty cup on the hall table you’re close to before laughing and speaking again. “Christ I promise I’m more entertaining than I lead on—“

“Oh, do tell,” you tease gently, looking up from your cup with a small smirk.

And luckily, Loki does. It gets easier through the night. Any questions either of you had about what you spoke about actually started to properly stem into actual conversations about what the two of you do outside of how you met each other. You tell Loki about your successful hobbies, he tells you all about his part-time job that he’s still got under his belt in case this tour falls out and TR ends up not being too big of a hit as you all expect them to be—and suddenly, it’s like any awkwardness vanished. All from a little quip and a smirk.

It’s good. Not to say that it wasn’t good before. But the conversation still flows unlike earlier when the two of you had a bit of a lull in picking a topic.

Now, you’re here, drunk on Loki as he finishes telling you a story about how he, Thor, and his sister tried to put on a play for his family when they were kids. You never want to leave his sight, or this party, just to pull more stories like this from him.

“There is no way your sister got you both into dresses that easy,” you giggle into your hand, placing your finally empty cup on the hallway table the two of you were still stationed next to. Loki’s made himself comfortable again after all of the awkwardness now, arm back next to your head and over your shoulder as you lean comfortably against the wall. Part of you wants to rest your head on his wrist and forearm, just to see if his bare arm would flex any more than it has in the past however long you’ve been standing here—

“She did! She absolutely did. I’ll ask her to text me the pictures or take them myself next time I’m at my parents and send them to you. Red is my true color, I think.”

You squint playfully up at the man before you, a fond smile creeping onto your face. “Nah. Green suits you. Green and black.”

“Really?” Loki hums in question. “Is this from my nail polish choices or the fact that you’ve never seen me in any other colors?”

You gasp at that, a hand pressing over the middle of your chest from Loki’s words—he may be right, but you’re having too much fun being just as dramatic as him.

“Excuse you, Mr. Odinson.”

“Excuse me? For what?” Loki asks fondly, arm shifting next to your head slightly before you finally break away from your thoughts that were holding you back to rest your head against his forearm.

You were right, his arm did flex at that. And you’re glad you’re holding your sudden reaction back from how you can see his arm slightly bulging to support your weight.

“I’ve seen you in other colors,” you sigh gently, as if you’re not affected by resting your head on his arm. “There’s so many different shades of green and black. They’re just not called green and black.”

“Oh my god,” Loki groans dramatically, rolling his eyes playfully. “I should let your head fall right now.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

Your bright, teasing eyes meet Loki’s who’s equally just as teasing as he smirks at you.

“Try me.”

You squint your eyes slightly, still holding his gaze as Loki gives you a soft chuckle. You’re expecting him to say something again since he’s still staring into your eyes. But, as you move your head from his arm to stop your neck from cramping, you realize you’re basically having a small staring contest.

And your heart is already going into overtime, ramming into your chest every few seconds as you notice just how close you are to Loki. You’ve been close to him like this all night, and now you’re really feeling the aftereffects of the proximity.

Loki’s inched a bit closer to your face at this point, his hand shifting to have his forearm lean against the wall now to support his body weight. You hear him take a deep, shaky breath before his breath is fanning over your face.

“Can…can I try something?”

“Y-Yeah,” you breathe quietly in reply. “Go for it.”

If anything, your heart is speeding up even further. You’re not sure that’s entirely possible, but you’re not asking any questions as you watch Loki lean in closer and closer to you.

You’re about to have your first proper kiss with Loki Odinson. That on the rise rockstar you met months ago at your waitressing job. And you couldn’t be more excited for it. Part of you is suddenly curious if you’ll actually be a good kisser. There’s not much experience you’ve had in that regard, and you’re hoping Loki won’t mind it.

And if any of your nerves are showing, Loki doesn’t seem to notice it as he leans in the rest of the way, head tilting to the side to let his face slot into your own personally and press his lips to your own.

After a few seconds, you were confused when Loki just pulled away almost immediately after leaning his lips on yours. His lips were on yours for a small, small amount of time.You didn’t even have enough time to get your eyes closed properly.

It was more so of a peck, you realize.

Loki seemed shocked with his own actions, and scanned your face to see if what he’d done was okay. You didn’t really let him say anything to you in response and pulled him back in to slot your lips together once more.

You didn’t want to admit it aloud, but you had no idea what to do after this. You’ve never kissed anyone properly, ever. So you wouldn’t know jack shit what to do. Thankfully, Loki’s large hands ended up landing on either side of your face to start kissing you in what you assumed was the correct way, lips moving and somewhat guiding your own as he gripped your face gently as if it were a piece of glass.

You admittedly got lost in the kiss, not getting enough of Loki’s lips slotting against yours. You shuffled as close to him as you physically could, hands resting on his chest and gripping at the fabric of his tank top. And you could just about faint as you felt his small chuckle against your lips as he turned his head to deepen the kiss.

It felt just like it looked in some romantic movie you’ve seen—soft, loving, and all-consuming. Which, you didn’t expect out of a first kiss, but were you complaining?

Absolutely not.

The only time you did complain was having to pull away, softly gasping for air just as Loki did, hands still pressed into your now warm cheeks.

Your eyes—you don’t really recall when you closed them like you thought you would, honestly, you were probably that taken up in the kiss—are staring right into Loki’s blue ones again. You’re both panting lightly, and when you start giggling from all the butterflies in your tummy just erupting, Loki starts giggling with you, too.

“Is there something wrong?” Loki asked gently, his giggles fading a lot faster than your own, “besides, well, the obvious, y’know..”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down before finally speaking.

“‘S nothing,” you say, shaking your head slightly as you let go of Loki’s tank to slide your hands down his abdomen slowly and rest on his sides. “It’s just...that was my first kiss.”

It’s that response that makes Loki freeze, and you’re suddenly filled with dread. You don’t know what the reply is for most people when they say that, and frankly, if this was about to be a whole joke to make fun of you, you’re prepared to walk back out to your car and go home to cry in a pint of edible cookie dough.

You watch Loki’s tongue flick out to run over his lips—lips that just willingly pressed against yours—quickly, swallowing before speaking.

“Really?”

“Yes,” you finally breathe with a nod, “really.”

It’s painful, waiting for Loki’s reply. Your brain is conjuring so many what if scenarios that you’re not all ready for what he could actually say.

“Well,” he finally breathes, his hands starting to pull away from your cheeks to find a spot on your waist. “If you don’t mind, my kiss quota for the evening is, unfortunately, needing to be filled—”

You’re back to giggling again, your dread moving far away just as fast as it came, the two of you leaning forwards before your foreheads gently bump together. The tip of Loki’s nose nudges against your own as he speaks, lips brushing yours.

“—care to help fix that?”

“Absolutely,” you mutter back happily before closing your eyes and reconnecting your lips.

After that, you and Loki really just spent the rest of your night chatting, or kissing. You’re both very giggly. You’re extremely happy to say it’s not from the alcohol either as the two of you navigate around the steady group of people in the living room to get back to the kitchen after a few more kisses and conversations shared to get refills.

You never really recall finding a party this enjoyable until Loki came into the mix. Honestly, you’d like to keep it that way for as long as the universe allows you to have it.

It’s around midnight when you finally move to tap out of the event. Brunn still has the party going steadily, you think you even heard someone shout for a round of body shots—to which you and Loki happily declined in favor for more hushed conversation and kisses near the hall table to be hidden from all the drunk, hazy eyes.

“I’ll walk you out,” Loki says immediately, stacking your newly empty cup with your own before you’re being guided by a hand on your lower back to the kitchen. “Just gotta grab my jacket.”

All you can do is smile and nod. You haven’t had the need to take off your hoodie, weirdly enough. At some point you thought you may need to—that’s the whole reason why you wore a shirt under it, after all, as well as the leggings with pockets on the sides so you could hold the important little things inside the hoodie pocket—but the most you’ve done is pull the sleeves up to your elbows.

Loki leaves you once you’re both about to pass the kitchen, so you take it upon yourself to head to the door while he tosses your cups out. As you head that way, you’re sure to dodge all the people crowding around Brunn as she does a body shot off of another woman. There’s…a lot of cheering happening, and it makes you worry for Helen who has the opening shift tomorrow.

But you also can’t help yourself by watching how Brunn licks up the salt on the other girl’s skin.

You’re quick to distract yourself back to the task at hand: Loki’s jacket. Pulling yourself from the crowd where you could see Brunn finish taking the shot, you find what looks like Loki’s jacket in a heap with the rest of the jackets various people have brought in.

Just as you get closer to the jacket pile, you feel a hand land back on your lower back and flinch immediately. You turn around, preparing to chew whoever the fuck it is out, but end up seeing Loki’s face, which is just as startled.

“Sorry!” He shouts over the sudden burst of cheers from the middle of the living room. “Should have warned you, huh?”

“Yeah, maybe a little,” you sass back, leaning back into his touch as you both reach the jackets. “Top one yours?”

“Should be.” Loki reaches around you—your eyes fall to his arms, of course, you’re suspecting that may be some sort of kink if that’s even possible—and feels the jacket before nodding. “Yeah, it’s mine.”

“How can you tell it’s yours by feeling it?” You question suddenly, hopefully your amusement being heard over the hum of people.

“No one else here has a real leather jacket,” Loki laughs in reply, following you as you turn to open the door and lead the two of you out into the thankfully quiet hallway. “At least, I think most of those people in there have common sense not to wear one to a party of Brunn’s.”

The both of you turn into the direction of the stairwell as you snort. “So you’re saying you don’t have common sense then?”

“Well, not tonight no,” Loki decides aloud. “I was trying to impress a certain someone.”

You could feel your face heating up from his confession, noticing his hand was off of your lower back so he could pull his jacket back on. You feel a small pang of sadness, no longer being allowed access to ogling Loki’s well toned arms from who recalls how long of lifting amps for gigs.

“Oh, really?” You’re trying to be coy, but all you’ve done tonight is kiss him and be held by him and honestly, you really should just be bold. Guys like that, don’t they?

Loki glances at you as you make it to the stairwell door at the end of the hall, you can make out his little smirk and swear you see a wink. “Yeah, really.”

It’s at that point you realize you don’t really want to go back to your apartment and lose Loki’s company for the night. You’re not quite sure what the two of you really…are. After finally kissing, you’re not quite sure what happens at this point. Are you casual? Is it considered a relationship now?

Towards the end of your descent back to the parking lot with him, you realize you’d be down for just about anything he offers, if Loki does offer anything. The conversations you share are just as fun as they were in the party, your hand is intertwined tightly with his as you take one step at a time to make the night last longer.

You’re sure it’ll be about one in the morning by the time you’re in your car to drive away, and you don’t really give a damn.

“Helen is going to text me later in the morning and complain about the noise, I bet,” you say as Loki opens the door for you to head out into the cool morning. You notice as you carefully step outside, pulling Loki with you, that the moon’s out and extremely bright. If there wasn’t lamps and light pollution being a thing, you may just be blinded.

“I don’t doubt it in the slightest, if I’m honest,” he replies, hand briefly tightening around yours. “She can’t murder who she doesn’t know, can she?”

“That might just be a super power of hers,” you joke, now officially taking the lead as you follow the sidewalks that lead you to where your car is. “She can be evil when she wants.”

Loki chuckles, and you can see him shaking his head out of the corner of your eye before you’re turning to walk backwards, slowing down your steps so you don’t trip. Loki’s quick to catch on and his free hand lands on your waist so he can guide you.

“Careful, sweetheart.”

You pout, even though all you want to do is squeal over how Loki sounds so taken by you in this moment. He’s been speaking like this all night, with that same fond look in his eye. You never want to leave his sight if that’s how he’ll be looking at you.

“I am! I’ve done this drunk, I can do it sober.”

“Would love to see that,” Loki snorts, fingertips digging into the fabric of your hoodie. “Same car still?”

“Duh,” you huff.

Loki doesn’t reply or say anything, and neither do you. Your eyes alternate from your feet to Loki, and that makes you both giggle.

“You’ll text me when you get home, yeah?” Loki asks suddenly, his hands tugging you closer to him probably to make you stop walking. “Or, you could call me—“

“Loki!” You cut him off immediately, letting yourself get pulled in all the way to where you’re face to face with his chest again. “Chill. I’ll text you, okay? I’m sleepy.”

“Could call me on your way home? So you don’t fall asleep?” Loki’s voice is bordering on pouty, soft around the edges but could definitely end up whining if necessary. You tilt your head up to actually see his face that’s illuminated by the street lamps, a small pout on his lips.

You giggle and stretch up to press a small kiss to his bottom lip. “Cool it, rockstar. I’ll be fine. No need to get all pouty on me again.”

“This is the perfect time to be pouty, excuse you,” Loki quips, quick to capture your lips in a proper kiss for a moment, then pressing your foreheads together before you could really get into the groove of it. “But fine. I’ll stop on your behalf.”

Your smile could make your face ache for the rest of the night from how wide it is, but you don’t care. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” Loki replies, his smile just as wide.

You’re both stalling. You sense it, Loki can probably sense it, and you’re trying not to care. You pull your head away to properly see his face as you speak.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Besides that? Yes—ow, hey!”

The both of you laugh at his reaction to your free hand smacking his stomach. “That’s rude!”

“You’re rude!” You tease back, still laughing before you take a breath to speak through your giggles. “What are we? Or, what’s this, I guess.”

Loki’s taking a breath, getting the last of his giggles out unlike you before he’s speaking slowly, and choosing his words carefully.

“Well, if you’ll have me, I’d like to be your boyfriend.”

Thankfully, you’re silent by the time he finishes his sentence, and you shudder at his tone. There’s no hints of teasing you at all, and he’s so sure of himself as he continues to hold you so gently.

You’re speechless for a few good seconds, but Loki can already tell you’re going to say yes probably from your face alone.

“I’d love to have you be my boyfriend, yeah,” you reply. It feels a bit awkward and clumsy to reply that way, but it feels…right. Honestly anything you say to Loki feels like it’s right since earlier tonight in Brunn’s apartment.

Loki’s just watching you like you’ve painted the moon and hung up the stars personally for him before his hands are pulling away from your own hand and your waist to cup either side of your face in his palms.

“May I kiss my girlfriend?”

You try to hold back your grin, knowing that Loki’s probably not going to be particularly keen on wanting to kiss your teeth and give a tiny nod. “Absolutely.”

The kiss isn’t really all that different from all the ones you’ve been sharing over the course of the night, but you lean into it with a smile regardless. Kissing Loki would become a new favorite past time fast if the two of you kept up with it. Now that you’re official, that is.

That’s when a question pops into your head.

“Wait,” you start, pulling away from Loki’s lips to speak. “Should…who should we tell? Should we wait, or?”

Loki’s still recovering from the bliss of kissing it seems, his face still contoured as if your lips were still on his. After a moment he registers what you say and takes a slow breath in.

“I think,” Loki says after a brief period of silence—the thought of stunning Loki with your kiss flashes across your mind, and you feel like cackling. You’re so inexperienced before tonight, you’d never think that would happen because of you. “I think we should wait, for sure. And it’s not because I want to hide what we have or anything, but with the tour going on, I want to be sure this is something you want.”

“Why wouldn’t it be something I want, Loki?”

“Darling, if The Revengers gain popularity to do more than just a small local headlining tour around the area, you won’t see me as often,” Loki explains, his face looking pained. “Life of a rockstar isn’t very kind to relationships..”

You take a deep breath and release it in a sigh, leaning more into Loki’s hands that are still holding your face. “I want this. I want to be your girlfriend—I have for the last four months—I want to give us a go, Loki. It’s not like we don’t have smartphones for video calls or anything.”

“I know that, sweetheart, but what I’m saying is it’ll be months before I’m ever back to you if we take off how we expect to. It may get hard—“

“Then I’m all for it!” You huff softly, not meaning to raise your voice before gently pulling your face from Loki’s hands. “I know you’re doing this to save both of us from a broken heart, Loki, but really, I want to try. I’ve been set on you for a while now, I think we can make it work.”

Loki doesn’t look as startled as you do, and maybe that’s a good thing. His smile is returning from your words it seems, but you’re slightly worried he’s going to take back everything he’s said or asked of you tonight—and being Loki’s girlfriend is something you’re absolutely inclined to be.

“Okay,” he finally replies, letting your brain cease running around your skull like crazy. “We can make it work. But if you want to back out—“

“If I were an idiot, I would,” you cut him off completely. “But, if—and it’s a hard if, by the way—I want to quit, then I will tell you. I can communicate, I’m an adult.”

You’re sure your words get through to Loki then, his hands grabbing your own and squeezing them tightly, giving you a reassuring smile. “Okay, okay, no need to go growling at me—“

You don’t hold back your snort, squeezing his hands back. “I’m going to. Now that I’ve got a taste of you? Kissing you, at that? I’m not giving that up, baby.”

It’s….nice. Getting to call someone—Loki, in particular—baby. You’re excited to try all the other terms of endearment you’ve seen tossed around by couples you’ve been surrounded by both online and in person.

Loki seems to agree. You notice how his cheeks seem a little more rosy than just a few minutes ago.

“Likewise, babe.”

You and Loki hold each other’s gaze for a few seconds before laughing together.

“That sounded weird, coming from you—“

“I thought I’d give it a try!” Loki exclaims gently, leaning forward to peck your forehead. “I’ll stick with sweetheart and work my way into new ones. How’s that sounding, babydoll?”

“Better,” you hum, a small shudder moving through you slightly. “Call me that one a bit, sounded nice.”

“Can absolutely be done,” Loki affirms. “Now. I believe one of us was heading home for the night. And I’d like for you to sleep before you do whatever you have planned tomorrow. Unless it’s work and you’re lying to me, again.”

“I do have tomorrow off!” You exclaim, pouting as you let your head crane back to look at Loki again. “I’m not a liar. You’re being mean.”

Loki grins and lets one of his hands drop yours to wrap an arm around your shoulders to pull you in close to him, chuckling. “I am, I am, sorry sweetheart. You’re cute when you pout, if it helps.”

“Maybe it does.” You huff dramatically, letting yourself mold into Loki’s front. “I should probably get home though, seriously. It’s probably close to one. I wanted to get laundry done.”

“Sounds like a lot,” Loki commiserates with you, his chin bumping against the top of your head gently. “Terrible. Truly.”

“You just don’t want to let me go so you end up going home to your place and end up sleeping before more tour rehearsal,” you scoff, letting your head slowly tilt up again. “I’ll call you while I do my laundry tomorrow?”

Loki doesn’t hesitate to look back down at you then. “Please? I don’t have rehearsal until six. I’ll be bored. Missing you, probably—“

“Oh please,” you giggle, leaning up on your toes to peck his lips. “You’re so dramatic.”

“It’s true! I’ll miss you the second you get in your car!” Loki whines. “You’re the mean one. That’s it. It’s decided.”

You laugh, Loki pouts. It’s a small cycle that the two of you continue doing before you’re starting to actually yawn into Loki’s tank top. Then, he’s ushering you into your car with a stern tone.

“Y’know, if I didn’t work earlier today I would be fine,” you reply, finally inside your car completely now, actually buckled up with your window rolled down to keep talking with Loki.

His arms are crossed over the top of the window as he speaks to you. “I know. All the more reason you should sleep and I can be greedy and pester you to spend all your time with me tomorrow.”

You laugh at that, your face heating up. Now that you’re both official, Loki’s not holding back, it seems.

“Fine. I’ll text you when I’m home, okay? Text me when you get to yours.”

“Yes ma’am,” Loki replies, a smile accompanying a little salute before he’s standing up straight from your window. “Maybe we could actually grab lunch tomorrow or something? If you’re awake?”

You want to say something about your laundry, you do really need to get that done, but honestly, you can’t bring yourself to say it.

“Sure! We can aim for it.”

Goodbyes won’t be either of your strong suits, you assume. By the fact you’re still in this parking lot, just observing Loki with all his nervous giddy energy that reminds you of him before performing on Saturdays on the pavement next to your car, you’re just sleepily gushing behind the wheel in your brain while you stare at him.

Loki’s pulling you out of that small cloud you’re up in, leaning through your window to press a final kiss to your lips. “Home. Home for you, sweetheart. Get there in one piece. Goodnight.”

You sigh reluctantly in your car, Loki pulling away and stepping away from you in your car to the sidewalk so you don’t keep sidetracking any longer.

“Fine, goodnight!” You shout from your window, Loki laughing and waving to you and shouting the phrase back again before you’re finally rolling up your window. You put the car in reverse and start backing out, giving Loki one last wave while you still can before both hands are on the steering wheel and you’re exiting the parking lot.

You barely pay attention to the radio as you turn out from the way you came in just hours ago—hours. God, you really expected to leave sooner than this, but Loki really held you up. You couldn’t find it in yourself to mind at all.

It’s then you actually realize what’s playing on the radio. Queen’s Somebody To Love. It’s probably in the middle-end of the song, but it makes you smile wide nonetheless as you stop at the stop light that leads you onto the main road.

Yeah, you’ll have to stop by The Queen’s Pub and thank Brian for keeping you all those nights with his stories so you could talk with Loki whenever he was there sometime, whenever you and Loki figure out when you’d like to tell everyone.

#loki x reader #guitarist!loki x reader #ofr: trht — g!l au #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson imagine #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson imagine #loki odinson x you #loki laufeyson x you #loki odinson fluff #loki laufeyson fluff #marvel writer #marvel fanfiction #marvel x reader

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wri0thesley · 3 years ago

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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’.

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring.

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(.

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!).

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

#nat.txt

13 notes · View notes

cattles-bians · 3 years ago

Text

damie vibecca exes au part 8

post directory

obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym

em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker

obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck

em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and

em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens

[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]

[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]

obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones

obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color

obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals

obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym

em: it’s about Matching

em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then

obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts

em: YES

obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there

obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"

obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"

viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?

dani: yeah?

em: god cute

obsetress: cute n dumb

em: they can share nearly everything except pants

em: well. pants as a treat

em: haha pants

em: trousers

obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens

obsetress: hahahah pants

obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they

em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas

em: should they

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS

obsetress: anyway

obsetress: rebecca just laughs

obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"

em: dani jamie wearing like

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

em: poor viola

obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those

em: yeah....

em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long

obsetress: big blush jamie taylor

em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: just ogling each other

obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)

em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks

obsetress: omg all i want

obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway

And That’s Beautiful

obsetress

obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs

viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass

rebecca: minding her business

jamie: scowling n scrawny

obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)

obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here

are they a polycule? what

em: jamie probably like

em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like

em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny

obsetress: i can see that

obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out

em: jamie ‘why don’t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor

obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am

em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over

em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh

obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it

obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy

obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?

dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?

jamie: than yesterday

dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know

jamie: do they look bigger at all?

dani: well

em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area

em: poor jamie

em: not playing to her strengths

obsetress: yeah she does

obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms

obsetress: she's just wiry

em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif

obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"

em: dani: you gotta like. eat more

jamie: i eat plenty

dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner

obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more

em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein

obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––

em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty

obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child

obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring

obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"

obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start

em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane

em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts

obsetress: she hates it

obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst

em: do u think dani ever like

em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that

em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough

em: it’s Not

em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over

em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i'm obsessed with this

obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this

em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic

em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week

obsetress: inevitably

obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean

obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"

obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"

obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table

em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again

em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith

em: and every time

em: every time she does

em: she’s tryna HELP

obsetress: she would too she'd be like

obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"

obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"

em: i’m on a mission to figure out like

em: this is way way down the line

em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other

em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it

obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like

obsetress: the UAE

obsetress: negotiating some Deal

obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like

obsetress: "i think i miss vi"

em: she’s HORRIFIED

em: she tries to play it off as like um

em: she’s Too Comfortable

em: things are Too Boring

em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie

em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola

em: danis like god i wish i was recording this

obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her

obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"

em: CUTE

em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret

em: vi's like when have i EVER

em: she does

obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still

em: this is wholesome tbh

em: i really like the damie stories where like

em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff

em: dunno how to articulate that well

em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance

obsetress: yeah! exactly

obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk

obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but

obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk

obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"

em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt

em: it’s too big

em: OR

em: child’s t-shirt

obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)

obsetress: oh childs might be better

obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."

em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch

em: she feels too much

obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch

obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"

em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just

em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani

em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"

em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile

obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god

obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it

em: jamies like fok

em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra

em: she Doesn’t

obsetress: she Doesn't!

obsetress: (she's shy)

em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like

em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something

obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."

em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her

em: crisp tan lines

obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan

em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda

obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much

obsetress: she giggles

obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible

em: and then when she gets into running...

em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is

em: gimme a second

obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head

obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines

em: there it is

obsetress: it was inevitable

em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps

em: baby

em: the most baby

obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves

em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing

obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and

obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: literally just like

obsetress: world stops

obsetress: viola stares

em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms

em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no

em: violas hot

em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable

em: she will be the Worst

obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"

obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away

obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same

obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same

em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”

em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.

em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton

obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"

em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top

em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much

em: she does it anyway

em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like

em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it

obsetress: i would........ like to see it

obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies

obsetress: she is severely underrated

em: crop top jamie is

obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough

em: jamie wear More crop tops

obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot

obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?

rebecca: what?

obsetress: and like

obsetress: viola is NOT insecure

obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but

obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization

em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on

em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this

em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo

obsetress: GOD yeah

obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."

em: owens like scary is a compliment

em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly

obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs

em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It

em: jamies like sorry WHAT

em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT

em: viola leaves without ever following it up

obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed

obsetress: doesn't even blink

em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk

em: everyone in this au is insane

obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane

obsetress: par for the course

em: was gonna protest but

em: Yeah

obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts

obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle

obsetress: jamie taylor baby

obsetress: viola lloyd also baby

em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking

obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it

obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because

obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together

em: oh of course. i see. i see

em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out

em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s

em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but

obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade

em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit

em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him

obsetress: omg

obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey

em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad

em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me

obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”

obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”

obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look

em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie

em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it

em: anyway

em: what was. what was ur last little thought

obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how

obsetress: like she’s never had to learn

em: rebecca gets um

em: freeze dried coffee

em: nescafé

obsetress: but like

obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but

obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”

obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity

obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”

obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)

#this one's fucken LONG!!!!!!!!#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au

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straighttohellbuddy · 4 years ago

Note

World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand.

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes.

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart.

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018.

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals.

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse.

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic

#Anonymous #how the light gets in #corpse husband x reader #black cat anon

32 notes · View notes

xnchxntmxnt · 4 years ago

Note

Hi Spencer!! Ahhh I hope you’ve reached 200 by the time you get this! It’s been so amazing watching you grow and your works have brought lots of comfiness into my life 🥰 thank you so much for creating and writing and making one of the most aesthetic blogs I’ve ever seen (hehe love the constellation aesthetic) sending lots of positive vibes and appreciation your way 💕

For the matchup event (ahh it’s my first time ever doing one and I hope I didn’t put too much 😱) thank you in advance 💖

Name: eggu

Pronouns: she/her

Preferred partner: open to anyone

MBTI: INFJ

Horoscope: Aquarius

Aesthetic: light academia, soft, oversized sweaters, korean street wear, fandom merch, white and pastels, 4:00 am talks about life, stars and clouds

Some things about me:

I took piano, dance and martial arts lessons growing up and I still enjoy playing piano a lot

I enjoy playing video games on my spare time (I’m currently selling my soul to genshin impact)

I really love music of all genres but I’m currently really into kpop and khiphop (my favourite artists are seventeen and stray kids)

I really like naps and sleeping in general and prefer it over eating — I would say I have pretty low energy in general

I like desserts, pastries and dim sum

I recently got into watching art streams, journaling and collecting cute stationery

I’ve pretty much been a huge geek/fangirl all my life and have loved reading and animation since I can remember

I just finished watching jujutsu kaisen and am currently watching fruits basket (lol I enjoy both extreme shounen and fluffy shoujo)

I’m human and have lots of insecurities but I’m learning

Ideal traits in a partner:

Able to appreciate the quiet moments

I’m not a super physical person, but it would be nice to be physically close to someone I trust and that respects my boundaries

Trustworthy — didn’t have a great past relationship 😞

Isn’t afraid to keep up with banter and has witty remarks... someone that can keep me on my toes

Is driven in something they love

willing to learn and grow alongside me

@eggutartu

Thank you so so so much!! 💕💕💕 i worked really hard on the aesthetic so I’m glad you like it and I’m glad you like what I write! If you ever have ideas, don’t be afraid to share!

Anyway, onto the notes & matchup (I was really proud of this one 😁😁😁)

WHEN I TELL YOU I IMMEDIATELY HAD AN IDEA, I I M M E D I A T E L Y HAD AN IDEA. I was so proud of myself when i got this lol cause I saw your entry when I woke up, barely skimmed it, and said…

TSUKISHIMA KEI

✧ 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑒𝑡 ✧

Okay okay hear me out

Hot topic (or something similar but I’m American so hot topic)

He was looking to get something for Yamaguchi’s birthday & maybe something for himself because don’t tell me Tsukishima Kei isn’t into anime I know he is

Probably shonen but still

Anyway

You were both reaching for the same thing (yes I’m using THAT trope)

Fortunately for you, there was more than one keychain but still

He was about to get low key defensive like “hey watch it” y’know like

Was in a v short mood

But the second he got the word “hey” out he turned to look at you and just

Froze

And got all embarrassed because look at this beautiful girl he’s standing net to shit he was just cursing you out in his brain

So he’s staring at you with wide eyes and you’re like “oh I’m sorry--you like JJK too? That’s cool”

And he’s stuttering Tsukishima Kei is flustered, everybody

So he’s like “uh yeah kinda I guess I don’t really talk about it a lot cause my friend isn’t into it”

“Well I mean if you ever wanna talk about it we can”

“Really?”

“Yeah, gimme your phone I’ll give you my number. If that’s chill”

“Sure, I guess, yeah”

Akiteru was home that day and hadn’t seen his brother smile this much since he was a kid

Any time he asked though Kei just got all huffy and went to his room

✧ 𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠 ✧

U two make playlists for each other on a regular basis (Spotify playlists w collaboration turned on are your best friend)

They're always killer and hit a little too hard

When you tell him you have a new favorite song, he listens to it on repeat until he knows all the lyrics and can pick on you for saying the wrong lyrics if you ever do

Also because it reminds him of you

He loves that he can be himself around you

Really he does

Like that’s one of his favorite things

He doesn’t have to hide any of his hobbies or really anything about him really and he appreciates it so much

It took a while to get there with him, but once he trusted you 100%, he realized he was in love with you

Love and trust are the same things to him (or at least similar) so he knew he loved you when he realized he really could be himself with you around and probably told you as such

He’s not one to push your boundaries, but just had to tell you so it was probably a text like

“Look I don’t expect you to say this back if you’re not ready for that yet, but you’re so amazing--I need to be honest. I’ve done nothing but stare at the ceiling for an hour and think and just realized how in love with you I am. I really am. Take that as you will.”

And then just straight up DIDN’T ANSWER UNTIL 2 AM THAT NIGHT LIKE “sorry I was at Yamaguchi's” LIKE BRO JUST DROP A BOMB LIKE THAT DAMN

Needless to say, he WAS at Yamaguchi's and left his phone at home but it was because he was too afraid of what you’d say

He got home at 11

He just procrastinated for three hours until he finally answered you back

And when you told him you loved him too, his heart SOARED he proceeded to call yams and squeal like a seven-year-old girl for a half hour

If ur shorter than him he uses your head as an armrest, no exceptions

He does it if you're taller than him too he just goes up on his toes to do it

Anyway

Can and will pick on you for everything

It’s the way he shows his love alright

Cute stationery? It’s tacky and “why do you have this it’s irritatingly adorable”

“You’re irritatingly adorable”

“I’m not adorable”

“Yes you are Tsukki"

Lets you call him Tsukki until you can call him Kei

You have to have a thick skin with him because sometimes it’s hard to tell when he’s being sarcastic or not

If he ever did make you cry or genuinely upset though, he’d tear himself to pieces about it for hours and be completely unresponsive to his phone if you text him because he thinks you hate him

When he finally texts you back he’ll never admit how upset he is, but he will apologize for making you upset

It’s really hard to do emotions with this dude but you try to manage

If you can figure out how to make him talk about his problems “let’s talk about Akiteru” “no”? Yamaguchi will love you forever

You get the best friend approval anyway but you get an extra gold star if you can get him to open up more

Oh and you totally like to show up at games or practice and everyone including Ukai and Takeda love you for it because he tries a little harder so he doesn’t look bad in front of you

It’s like a switch he goes from like 5% to 70% effort but that’s the best he’s giving until it’s game time then he’ll crank it to 100%

✧ 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝐼𝑑𝑒𝑎 ✧

Okay okay but but but but but

Anime dates

Like once a week you two sit and watch anime over discord or smth

You don’t usually talk much but it’s nice to be in each others’ presence

Or close to that

When you can get together it’s that much better

You trade off whose house you’re at every other week, and whoever's visiting picks up snacks on the way

You’ll watch tv, make fun of the characters together, roll your eyes at the sappy moments but lean over to kiss Tsukki anyway

It’s overall a very wholesome scene

But there will be times when he is stressed and tired for whatever reason and he’ll fall asleep

Sometimes he’ll be curled into a little ball on his side of the couch

Sometimes he’ll slouch his head against your shoulder with his arm around your waist

Sometimes he’ll pause the show and pull you down against him and just lay with you for a while

Not even watch tv just

Be happy in each others’ presence

He’ll fall asleep from time to time and you take his glasses off for him

He looks so soft when he’s sleeping and not glaring at people

✧ 𝑍𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑐 𝐼𝑛𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 ✧

Libras, while they may not exactly say it, are romantics. They enjoy little things about romance, however modern, like spontaneous dates and flowers. They initiate clever ideas and Aquariuses are good at adding a different perspective, so prepare for in-depth conversations. On the other hand, Aquariuses tend to be trendsetters, which Libras support wholeheartedly.

✧ 𝐴𝑒𝑠𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐 ✧

✧ 𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ✧

my boy - Billie Eilish

Hug - SEVENTEEN

King of the Clouds - Panic! At The Disco

She’s In The Rain - The Rose

I Can’t Handle Change - Roar

Runners up: Sugawara Koushi, Akaashi Keiji

#✔︎ — announcements #ꕥspenceranswers

8 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 4 years ago

Text

Girl I Met On The Internet, 5/6 (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry

a/n these chapters aren’t really that long but i keep taking forever to get them written and edited lol but anyway i hope ya’ll enjoy!!

Gigi stayed at Crystal’s house for a while after their kiss. Crystal showed Gigi all of the art that was not yet hanging up on her walls, gave her a house tour, and introduced her to her cat Tic Tac, who Gigi instantly fell in love with.

Gigi finally had to go when Crystal said her mom was on her way home from work, and would not be happy with Crystal if she found out she had someone over without permission.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine walking home?” Crystal asked, watching Gigi put her shoes back on from where she was standing in the kitchen.

“Yeah, don’t worry. I live like, two streets down, actually so I’ll be there in like five minutes!” Gigi reassured her.

They hugged goodbye, Crystal walking her out and standing on her front porch until Gigi went out of sight. A few minutes later, Gigi messaged her.

gigi: i’m home and i miss ur cat

crystal: :o only tic tac??? not me??

gigi: yeah <3

crystal: you’re a loser

To Crystal’s disappointment, she didn’t hear from Gigi again until much later. Crystal had been debating getting off TikTok and going to sleep early for once when Gigi finally messaged her back.

gigi: do u wanna facetime

crystal: YEAH!

Crystal balanced her phone on her history textbook that was still laying on her bed and grabbed Tic Tac, knowing Gigi would love seeing the cat again.

“Hi!” Gigi waved, gasping when she saw Tic Tac in frame. “Who’s the cutest cat ever?”

Gigi showed Crystal her room and her closet. Eventually, they both exited the FaceTime app to go on Twitter, but stayed on the call. They made it their mission to annoy the other girls by spamming them with pictures of frogs and other memes they had found funny.

crystal: frog in a hat frog in a hat

nicky: why not sheep? they are the superior animal!

crystal: No <3 but i fuck with you for trying

Jackie: Does this happen often?

nicky: crystal and gigi are always on some bullshit. just ignore them queen

jan!: nicky pls stop trying to steal jackie

nicky: i simply breathed

“Hey, I think I’m going to bed,” Crystal yawned, “I’m tired. I would’ve been asleep by now if you didn’t want to talk.”

“Wait, before you go, do you maybe want to walk to school together tomorrow?” Gigi asked, coming back onto the app to see Crystal’s face.

Crystal smiled. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

“Great! I’ll message you in the morning. Goodnight, ba- bitch!”

Being so tired, Crystal almost didn’t catch Gigi’s slip up. “Goodnight, Gigi.”

Being just friends was going to be difficult, Crystal decided before finally allowing herself to fall asleep.

Walking to school became Gigi and Crystal’s new thing. With Crystal’s mom’s permission, Gigi would join Crystal after school on days she didn’t have practice, often staying for dinner. Crystal’s mom met Gigi a week after they started doing this, and was very skeptical the first time she met Gigi, not expecting Crystal to have befriended a cheerleader, but quickly welcomed her with open arms.

After Gigi had dinner with Crystal and her mom, her and Crystal went back into Crystal’s room to get some homework done. Gigi’s mom requested her to come home after Gigi and Crystal finished Gigi’s algebra homework. They were both pretty bad at math, but Crystal insisted if they worked together they would be able to figure it out, which was debatable at best.

“I don’t want to go. I’m too comfy,” Gigi complained, not wanting to get up from Crystal’s bed.

“You have to. Sorry.” Crystal replied, making Gigi stick her tongue out at her.

A few moments later, Gigi sat up, remembering that she wanted to ask Crystal something. “Hey, so before I go, I was thinking…”

“You think?” Crystal teased, giggling. Gigi gasped in mock offense, throwing a pillow at her head.

“Anyway, as I was saying,” Gigi continued, “I was thinking that we should have lunch together tomorrow. Only talking to you in the halls is not enough.”

“Yeah, of course! Do you want to meet me in the art room then?” Crystal asked, shutting her textbook and turning to face Gigi.

“No. I’ll come meet you outside your class. What happens next is a surprise.”

Those words replayed in Crystal’s brain for the rest of the night. A conversation that happened in the group chat when Crystal was in the shower got her even more excited.

gigi: guys guess what

jan!: yeah??

gigi: i miss crystal :(

jan!: weren’t you at her house like an hour ago

heidi: hold up WHAT

heidi: miss gigi was WHERE????

jaida: what now

gigi: JAN SHUSH you ruined my reveal!!!

jaida: JAN YOU KNEW THIS??? and didn’t wish to share???

jan!: uh-

heidi: not a reveal DHGJSDH

gigi: i’m gonna ask crystal out and then after that i was gonna send a selfie of us revealing that we are dating AND that we live in the same town and everyone would lose their minds at the superior couple

jaida: now why would you announce that if she’s in here

gigi: SHIT

gigi: everyone spam the chat she doesn’t read up

jan!: SUPERIOR COUPLE?? HELLO???

jan!: stealing your idea. we aren’t dating yet but look at me and jackie :-)

nicky: I HEARD JACKIE IM HERE

jaida: nicky why do you hit on everyone who’s not available dgfhfj first gigi, and then you were a crystal stan and now this

nicky: why are you acting like this is a problem jai

Jackie: I find it hilarious. Jan only reserves that side of her when Ariana Grande posts a selfie. I’m chopped liver to her.

jan!: JACKIE THAT’S A LIE DHJBFDKH WHY DO YOU ONLY COME IN HERE TO BULLY ME

Jackie: ;)

gigi: jackie’s using emojis we did it gays

nicky: i am a homewrecker. jaida, find a partner and i will flirt with you too

heidi: nicky literally no one asked

jaida: well damn..

jaida: hey heidi you single??

heidi: NOT THISIDHDGKJS

Crystal usually didn’t read up, due to pure laziness and the fact that these girls could send fifty messages a minute if they wanted to. It was too much for Crystal sometimes. This time she decided to read up, and she was glad she did. They didn’t try hard enough to hide anything Gigi said, and Crystal was even more excited for the next day.

Crystal got up extra early that morning, putting more effort than she usually would on taming her curly hair and put on a tad bit more makeup than usual. She searched her closet for the perfect outfit, and finally picked out a hot pink jumpsuit with purple flowers on it, with a headband with the same design on it to match.

She loved what she saw when she finally looked at herself in her full length mirror. Crystal knew this was going to be a good day; she looked good, and Gigi was going to ask her out during lunch. She was so excited.

gigi: im on ur street!

Crystal tried her best to mask her excitement as she walked down the hall and out the front door, not wanting Gigi to know she was aware of her plan.

“You look so cute!” Gigi exclaimed as soon as she saw Crystal.

“Thanks! You do too, we match!” Crystal replied.

Gigi was wearing a pink floral shirt with white shorts, and Crystal thought she looked very nice. Gigi always did, but it didn’t appear that she put in any extra effort, unlike Crystal did.

Crystal didn’t let that upset her, she told herself that the way Gigi dressed probably wouldn’t affect anything Gigi had planned.

Due to Crystal’s impatience, the morning felt much longer. When the bell signaling that it was lunch finally rang, Crystal couldn’t hide the gigantic grin on her face if she tried. Right outside the doorway stood Gigi, and two other girls who were on the cheerleading squad. Crystal found this odd, but made her way over anyway.

“Hey, you ready?” Gigi asked, giving Crystal a quick hug. “This is Rosy and this is Symone,” Gigi said, motioning to the other girls. “I want you to meet them so we’re all having lunch together!”

Realization hit. There was no date, Crystal was way off. She really hoped her face didn’t show her disappointment. She tried to ignore it, Crystal was curious to meet Symone and Rosy. Gigi had mentioned them briefly before, but they must’ve been close if Gigi was introducing them.

“Just with you guys? Not Dahlia?”

“Nope, she has a dentist appointment.” Gigi confirmed, and the four of them took off to the cafeteria.

Lunch was surprisingly nice. Rosy and Symone were way nicer than Dahlia ever had been to Crystal. Symone liked to paint, and Rosy loved Harry Styles so there was much for Crystal to discuss with them. Crystal didn’t like them as much as she liked her internet friends, but she couldn’t say they didn’t exceed her expectations. Crystal wondered why Gigi wasn’t always surrounding herself with cheerleaders like Rosy and Symone, who were genuinely nice and positive, but that would be a question for another time.

Despite lunch going better than expected, Crystal was sad that she was so off about what Gigi had planned. She felt stupid, even though none of what Gigi had said hinted to only inviting Crystal to have lunch with her friends on the squad.

On their way to Crystal’s house, Gigi could tell something was off with the green haired girl. She was going to get to the bottom of it.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Gigi asked once they got in Crystal’s room, both of them sitting on the bed.

“It’s stupid, don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine,” Crystal lied, busying herself by petting Tic Tac, who had jumped up to join them on the bed.

“It’s not stupid if it’s bothering you.” Gigi pushed, wanting to help.

Crystal took a deep breath, and let it all out. “What are we, Gigi? We said we’d be just friends for now but I thought you were going to take me on a date during lunch today since you told the group chat about your plan but I was wrong!”

Gigi had to take a moment to process everything. “I was going to try to clear that up by taking you on a date during spring break.” She admitted, making Crystal’s eyes go wide.

“Fuck… I’m sorry, I just-” Crystal mumbled, feeling awful,

“That’s why I wanted you to meet my other friends.” Gigi continued, “I think I’m going to come out to them before spring break.”

Crystal was shocked, “Gigi, spring break is next week. Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah. I need to. I talk to them about you all the time and I think they’re starting to get suspicious.” Gigi blushes.

“Even Dahlia?”

“Yeah, but she’s moving this summer so she’ll be out of her hair soon enough.”

“I think this is the best day ever, honestly.” Crystal giggles, leaning forward to press a kiss to Gigi’s cheek, making her whine.

“No. On the lips.” Gigi pouted.

“I don’t kiss before the first date, Georgia Rose.” Crystal teases.

“You’re so stupid!” Gigi huffs, tackling Crystal onto her bed, tickling her sides until she thought Crystal had enough. When Gigi finally stopped, Crystal lied there for a moment, still giggling even though Gigi’s manicured fingers weren’t on her anymore.

“You’re so mean! I didn’t deserve that.”

“You’re the one who wouldn’t kiss me!” Gigi whined again, flipping Crystal off.

“Don’t stress. G. Spring break will be here before we know it.”

#rpdr fanfiction #gigi goode #crystal methyd #dahlia sin #jackie cox #jan sport #jaida essence hall #heidi n closet #crygi #lesbian au #high school au #social media au #girl i met on the internet #strawberry #s12 #submission

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theworldsoul · 4 years ago

Text

Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

#ughhh #parent your fucking kids #religious bullshit #adults dont fuck up the children you are in charge of challenge #religion don't fuck up trans kids challenge #good dick really breaks a motherfucker #vent

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selfcareparker · 4 years ago

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okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

#ok i wrote some if this on the tube/on the bus/at the dentist/in bed so if this seems like it’s all over the place #that’s bc i was literally all over the place skshg #*of #also i love how you used tags skajahsg #lovely anon #<3 #sorry if some of the sentences didn‘t make sense or were too fucking long i wrote half of this half asleep #and i know i dont have to apologise but still like no one should have to read all my page long sentences that arent even proper sentencesskk

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spideybbg · 5 years ago

Text

Everything

summary: ur in luv. u smoke sum weed. that’s it. that’s the story.

warnings: well...le marijuanas...and swearing bc ??

a/n: i jus wanna smoke w/ someone i love :( anyways my brain doesn’t work so proofreading just isn’t a thing also the code for line breaks makes my head hurt so i couldn’t figure that out lol

words: 1.1k

"Take me to your river,

I wanna go."

You're like sunlight, a breath of fresh air after being held under water for far too long. You're soft and warm against his skin, white rays of gentle comfort. He looks at you like art, noticing every fine detail, as if your eyes were crafted galaxies and each star was placed with purpose. You're real, like the wind he feels against him when he walks down the street, like the cold air that pricks his skin when he gets out of bed in the morning. You make the sinking feeling go away. You're everything.

You look at the sky and think of him. They way his lips are so soft against your skin it reminds you of the angels in heaven, the way one touch can make everything else melt away. You think of his laugh, how you love seeing him happy. You think of his voice, how you adore the way your name sounds rolling off his tongue. You think about how he deserves the world, and how much you want to be the one to give it to him.

It's dark, ash falling near your feet while you exhale. Whether the sparkles you see are planes or stars, you don't care, you'll still stare at them forever from your place on the roof. The smoke filling your lungs holds your attention, distracting from the sound of footsteps behind you. You like watching the grey clouds float through the air before disappearing, feeling the fuzziness cloud your brain, feeling everything get a bit lighter.

"Hey," he sits beside you, sides touching and warmth radiating from his body as he motions for you to pass it. You oblige, of course, smoking paper traveling from your small hand to his slender fingers. When he brings it to his lips you can't help but admire the way his jaw clenches whenever he takes a hit, and how he squints a little whenever he breathes in, still not used to the burning. You let yourself get lost in his features, the slopes and curves of his face, and how it seems like god himself had crafted this boy's bone structure. His sneakers are muddy and a bit worn, like yours, but you're left wondering how someone can look so good in sweats and a hoodie.

"You're pretty," you tell him simply, taking a hand and running it through his hair with an expression of pure adoration.

He smiles, looking up at the night sky and trying to will the blush on his cheeks away. It makes your heart flutter, unable to get angry at the fact that you're utterly whipped, "I'm supposed to be telling you that," he nudges your side, eyes finally connecting and all you can do is get lost in his stare. He can't describe the contentedness that he feels in your presence, how your mere existence is enough to take away the weight crushing his chest. With your red eyes and goofy smile, he's looking at the girl sitting besides him and seeing his universe.

"We're both pretty," your head falls to his shoulder, gaze going across the buildings in front of you as a cool gust of wind blows your hair around, "just a couple of hotties smokin' a joint."

"Casual," he proclaims, taking another hit.

"Casual," you retort, swinging your legs to rest over his lap. You take the burning white roll from him, bringing it back to your lips as he places his hands atop your thighs.

"That sweatshirts nice," you drawl, breathing out, "would be a shame if someone were to...take it."

"I'm actually pretty good friends with the Avengers, they'd get it back for me," of course he's going to give it to you.

"Really? My boyfriend knows them too," he likes hearing you call him that.

"Yeah?" He smirks at you, quirking an amused brow. He could listen to you talk forever. Whether it be about your favorite show, some dumb shit your friend did, the weather, the economy, communism, you could say anything and he'd just sit there, soaking it up like a sponge.

"Yeah, he never shuts the fuck up about it," you reply matter of factly, scrunching up your face.

The boy just chuckles, rolling his eyes, "I hate you," he coughs, shaking his head, but he can feel himself smiling. It's a smile that only appears with you.

"You wish," smoke flows out along with your sentence, hazing the air between you before it gets blown away. You only sit with each other, no words yet it is anything but silent. You let the moment blanket you, looking at him against the backdrop of the city, as if it's a canvas and he's the focus of the foreground. In this moment you feel like you're almost gazing upon a renaissance painting, each stroke filled with purpose, colors worn with time and endless stories.

"I love you," you want to paint the sky with him, create a whole new world and live in it, just you two. When he turns to you and witnesses the look behind your eyes, so raw and tender, he feels as though he's holding your heart in his hand. He's never been so grateful to receive something his whole life, he's never wanted to protect something so badly his whole life. You're soft, like drizzling rain and sun shining through windows in the morning.

His fingers take your chin as you stare up at him, bringing your lips to his. It's home, safety and peace, it's one of the only things in your life that actually feels right. It's all you've ever wanted and all you'll ever need. This boy is it for you.

"You're everything," the breathiness in his voice after you both pull away makes your knees weak, heart squeezing at the sincerity dripping from every word. He knows no one else will ever make him feel this way, he knows he'll never love someone else the way he loves you. He thanks all the powerful creators that could possibly exist every night, wondering what he could have ever done to deserve such a girl. The way you think, the things you say, it enamors him everyday. They say you can't pull someone out of water when you're drowning yourself, but you did. You slipped through the cracks in his walls without even trying, from the moment he first laid eyes on you he knew. Knew he'd never deny you anything, knew he'd spend the rest of his life falling at your feet.

You were both hurting, and you both made it hurt a little bit less.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #avengers #spiderman #spider-man: far from home #spiderman x you #spiderman x reader #mcu #mcu fanfiction #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you

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whereconfusionisarhyme · 4 years ago

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First Reactions To Logan’s Playlist

K first song let’s do this

White and Nerdy-Weird Al Yankovic

Wtf this song was definitely Joan’s idea I mean who else would think of ‘White and Nerdy’ for Logan

Is this like canon he listens to this stuff or like songs about him???

Not Perfect-Tim Minchin

TIM MINCHIN

Bo Burnham better be on Logan's playlist

#deep

Is this about the mindpalace/inside of Thomas’ head??? Cause like???? Ouch???? I think????

Lol nvm it’s not sad lmao

I take back my take back it is sad

So this could be literally “in his mind” or it could be figurative and it’s really messing with my funky flow

Streaks-ANIMA!

Cool instrumental

Love the voice sounds a little like MARINA and Regina Spektor

Oh no I’m two lines in and I can tell it’s gonna be sad

OH NO CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST AHHHHH

Wow Logan is just out here being relatable isn’t he smh 😔👊

"Cause you're a smart kid, but you're still a kid" LOGAN REALLY BE OUT HERE BEING RELATABLE ON MAIN

The Elements-Tom Lehrer

Sounds like what piano class would sound like if I took piano class

Something you would listen to in science class

Bop

Medicine-STRFCKR

A Fever You Can't Sweat Out vibes

Lmao nvm

Gonna go look up the lyrics rn brb

A sad bop

Philosophy cool

Human-Tank And The Bangas

Logan playing this to comfort himself because this singer is the only person who has ever told him this

WHO HURT LOGAN WITH THEIR WORDS

LOGAN THE HEART SKIPPING COMMENT ARE YOU OKAY IM GIVING YOU A HUG

GUYS LOGAN IS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF THAT HE MATTERS IM NOT OKAY

Last???? Relationship???

Okay I'm not a shipper BUT my theorist analysis obsessed brain is just SCREAMING about Roman and Patton

Observation: Logan is probably atheistic and this song covers God a lot. I don't have a conclusion or anything just pointing that out

This woman do be calming tho like yes I'm beautiful yes I'm special thank you

Okay so I already knew Logan wasn't okay but he 100% isn't okay

Fittet Happier-Radiohead

K two words in and I can tell this is gonna be sad here we go

Employees? Or maybe…other sides?

Minor key ok

SELF HARM ISNT OKAY

"WILL NOT CRY IN PUBLIC" NONONONO

So I heard of a good therapist just downtown-

The Watchtower-The Dø

I paused it cause I need a second after the last one

Guys as someone who dissosiates a lot I think Logan might be dissosiating

Dissosiating to protect himself from his emotions

Y'all just trust me in this one

Coming for the TØP brand I see

K ready to start again here we go

Fire beat I'm vibing with it

Is he trying to distance himself from his emotions to try and perform his tasks better like watching from a Watchtower???

This is the first character I've seen that might dissosiate which only means one thing

I'm gonna be projecting an unholy amount in my fanfiction

"No one in particular" hon who hurt you

City Lights=Emotions (which he considers distractions)??? Maybe??

I'm a William Finn fan come on this isn't my first rodeo

Art Is Dead-Bo Burnham

BO BURNHAM I WAS RIGHT

We all love some good Imposter Syndrome (tm)! :D

This gives Learning New Things About Ourselves' a whole new meaning

Ngl this is the first time I heard the degrading of the piano at the end and I'm here for it

In My Mind-Amanda Palmer

Oop we LOVE setting up impossible expectations for yourself to the point you have a cripplingly horrid self esteem! :D

Logan I've done this before and trust me it isn't worth it the mental breakdowns are too taxing

I'll do it when I'm older=I'm never gonna get around to it

I don't wanna be the person I wanna be either

Why do I perfectly understand every lyric am I ok

Live!!! While you!!!! Can!!!!

At least there's a happy ending

Okay so I've decided that once I'm done I'm gonna make a list of songs I think would fit in the playlist

Algorythym-Childish Gambino

K its spelled incorrectly get ready for some metaphors my dudes

Intro is cool definitely very very Logan WOAH OKAY CHAIN SMOKER

Gonna go look up lyrics I don't understand shit

The chorus sounds like Thanksgiving at my Aunt's house where like 100+ African American relatives blast house music and dance until their feet falls off

Nvm no it doesn't

GO OFF

ELPHABA BETTER WATCH OUT CHILDISH GAMBINO IS COMING FOR YOUR BELT

Adlibs are everything

Letter C-Zach Sherwin

This gives off the same vibes as that one pickle video by Charlie Puth

Roman vs Logan rap battle but it's this

I don't really see why this is related but sure

Time Adventure-The Marcus Hedgehog

Nostalgiaaaaaa

Okay Logan has too many songs talking about one (1) person who is it

I have a gut feeling that it's about Thomas and how Logan used to be enough "back then" but now he thinks he's not cause like let's be honest when was the last time someone gave Logan a strong sincere thank you for all that he does????Excluding DWIT (which doesn't really count in my opinion cause they said he was cool, not like an integral and arguably the most important and powerful side) nobody really appreciates Logan???? Hugs???

Anyway plz ignore this is just how my brain works

K next song

The Breach-clipping.

OKAY SLOW DOWN IM GONNA LOOK UP LYRICS

Is this Daveed Diggs???? I haven't listened to Hamilton in like forever is this Daveed Diggs???

LITERALLY PERFECY PARRALLEL TO LOGAN AND THE SIDES

Sound effects

Really just gonna fry my eardrums like that huh

What I Do For U-Ra Ra Riot

Okay scrap anything and everything I said about it being the sides Logan is 100% talking about Character!Thomas

Erase Me-Ben Folds Five

Ooh this intro reminds me of this one particular musical songs but I don't remember which one

Wait have I listened to this before????

I've listened to this before!

Okay I need to stop being distracted

NOOOOOO don't Erase Yourself!!!!

Logan really just do be having no Self Esteem don't he

Okay so theory: Logan didn't pop up in person in the last video because his eyes were too red from crying

I have 0 evidence so it's not a very good theory but…

Just throwing it out there

One More Time with Feeling-Regina Spektor

Oh no it's Regina Spektor

Oh no I'm gonna cry

Okay so Logan doesnt wanna block of all emotion, only permit some to show???? But most of the time block everything????

Did I get that???

Nobody!!!! Thanks!!!! Logan!!!!

Awww he just wants love and recognition

Tbh this sounds a lot like Roman they have so much in common despite their constant arguing

Galaxy Song-Monty Python

Ooh Monty Python

I haven't listened to Monty Python so I sadly don't know the context

Really just dissing all of the other sides aren't we

Can't really blame him tho

Very scientific

"Yeau~"

Sweet with dark undertones. Love it.

Equation-Hans Zimmer

Later I'm gonna check the equations if they're correct XD

Sunrise-In The Heights

!!!!!!

WHO???!!!!!

K to this is one of my favorite love songs ever it's just so sweet and as someone who's bilingual the concept is just amazingly wonderful so yeah I may be freaking out

Also because WHO??!!

Okay I said I wasn't a shipper but let's be honest this is probably about Roman not romantically but like

OR MAYBE JANUS???

IM SO CONFUSED

But Logan is definitely Nina in this situation it just fits so well with her character for the same reasons I really wanna play her (but never will cause I'm exactly 0% Latin American smh) yeah the pressures to be the smartest and then it backfiring horribly and oh God what if Inùtil is also in the playlist ahhhh

Okay moving on

Lifeboat-Heathers

WHAT

CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST LOGAN STOP BEING RELATABLE AHHHH

IS THIS CAPTAIN THOMAS??? THE OTHER SIDES AS A WHOLE??? AN ABSTRACT CONCEPT???

IM NOT OKAY

Bohemian Groove-Will Connolly

Okay I'm still not recovered from the last song but I need to continue or else I'm never gonna finish this playlist

Eeecccchhhhhoooo

Your friends haven't surpassed you Logan you belong with them okay????

Emptiness despite success??? Millennial who???

Vibing with it but also are you okay

Nvm I know the answer already

Hug All Ur Friends-Cavetown

Okay so Logan is a Cavetown gay noted

Self validation??? Who's she???

Lies. You care so much about what other people *sides* think about you

Maybe Logan listens to this song to remind himself to not care too much

But it doesn't work and it's getting to him more and more

That took a turn

Breathin'-Thomas Sanders

Good move

Don't really have much to say on this

The Bidding

Spoopy

Alchoholic!Logan

New idea for us fan writers

The pronunciation of beurgoise

Okay I'm like pretty certain at this point that all of the songs that mention a someone else is about Character!Thomas

A Better Version

OHMYGOD I LOVE THIS MUSICAL ITS SO UNDERRATED I HAVE LISTENED TO THE SOUNDTRACK AND UNGODLY AMOUNT OF TIMES YESSSSS

But also since I know the song in terrified cause the feels are gonna come in I just know it

Wait so is Jayce supposed to be Thomas???

I am suddenly feeling much more uncertain about my certainty

Okay let me unpause and just listen to it (even though I already know all of the lyrics)

Okay so I'm a dumbass and apparently this song isn't even part of the playlist

Okay so I'm an idiot and the last few songs have all been "related to playlist" and not in the actual playlist I'm big dumb.

Anyway here's my list of songs I think would fit. (BTW, I only went off of lyrics for these ones. I realize that there’s a general sound and vibe for the playlist, but I decided not to follow it.)

Oh No! ~ MARINA

Hug All Ur Friends ~ Cavetown

Bohemian Groove ~ Will Connolly

Guiltless ~ Dodie Clark

Lifeboat ~ Laurens O’Keefe

The Bidding ~ *idk who*

I Am Not A Robot ~ MARINA

Inútil - Lin Manuel Miranda

Through The Eyes Of A Child ~ AURORA

Community Gardens ~ The Scary Jokes

Let me know if I should do this with the other playlists as well! :)

#sander sides #ts sanders sides #sanders sides #thomas sanders #tss #logan sander angst #logan sanders #ts logan #logan’s playlist #first reaction #self harm mention #tw self harm

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dxmagedrose · 5 years ago

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GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!

Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it.

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now! [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore. even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye. i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way.

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all.

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER. F L Y P A P E R. FLYPAPER. FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street. roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani. I am but a simple opossum.

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’) It’s the most grounding smell in the world.

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I—— I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!! take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT… the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //

#||: && the mundane ( ooc );#( get to know a bitch!! )#( this was... a lot of me rambling about weirdly personal shit at 2 am )

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jecngs · 5 years ago

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it’s ya girl 𝒅𝒓𝒊 (nineteen, she/her, pst but i’m in the philippines for two weeks so that’s gmt+8 !), a soft edgy born with a name that means "dark one of the lord" on friday the 13th ! if you’re meeting me for the first time, some fun facts are that i have the incredibly dangerous combo of high ambition and poor time management and i’d Risk It All for a.c.e, ateez, and loona ! so, anyway, here’s my poor, poor girl, miss amelia ! why i did her so dirty is a Good Question i do not have the answer to, but let's plot !

* ╱ 𝑸𝑼𝑰𝑪𝑲 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑻𝑺

𝗕𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗛 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: amelia christine jeong 𝗡𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: lia, li, call her amy and she’ll beat u up 𝗔𝗚𝗘: twenty 𝗗𝗢𝗕: november 29, 1998 𝗭𝗢𝗗𝗜𝗔𝗖: sagittarius sun, aries moon 𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: bisexual 𝗢𝗖𝗖𝗨𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: actress

* ╱ 𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫

♡ daughter of edith byun and christopher jeong, two major players in broadway (and later on the film industry), she was practically famous in the industry before she was even born. it was without a doubt that she was anticipated to be nothing short of talented and successful once she popped out of the womb! imagine legendary dance couple keone and mari madrid’s child but if they both had a reputation akin to idina menzel or lea salonga. that’s basically lia.

♡ with this, her parents unfortunately succumbed to public pressure and wanted to ensure that their daughter would meet these expectations. to fall short would be the greatest misfortune on her reputation, and they simply would not have that. was it the healthiest mindset to have raising their first and only child? lmao no, but it’s the mindset that came with the fame they had. eyes would be on her the moment she came into the world, so she had to be everything the public wanted her to be.

♡ a few months before lia was scheduled to be born, her father was cast in the us tour of miss saigon (pretend there was one in 1998), and it overlapped with the due date! he was supposed to be performing at the pantages for a few weeks in that general timeframe of when her mom could be going into labor, so they took a risk and just… moved to los angeles because he wasn’t going to miss the birth of his child! so ever since she was born she resided in the hollywood area!

♡ she was homeschooled for a majority of her childhood, but ur a Big Fool if u thought it was by her parents! they were incredibly busy with their own careers so she had a nanny and a homeschool teacher! and to be Quite Honest her nanny was more of a mother to her than miss edith could ever be! to lia, her parents were more like a dream, a fantasy, some sort of ethereal beings — untouchable. [cue parental longing]

♡ despite how much the media loved to talk about amelia and her parents, she didn't actually get to see them all that often! they loved her, there's no doubt about it, but they didn't exactly know to express it... despite being acclaimed performers SGKSDJGHDS so! basically in lia's mind, succeeding meant getting love from her parents because they always seemed to pay the most attention to her when she was doing something impressive — they loved to show her off to their colleagues like some sort of dog who can do tricks. lia ate up this "love", though, because there's nothing that beats the glimmer in their eyes when they watch her perform.

♡ lia took private lessons for everything ranging from acting, voice, and dance! fun fact: she’s classically trained in several dance styles, such as contemporary, jazz, ballet, tap, and hip hop! she was basically set to follow her parents’ footsteps with all of this training. she played several child/teen roles in musicals thanks to her family, and it was an almost effortless kickstart to her career.

♡ when she was high school aged, lia was admitted into la county school of the arts, but she wasn’t there for long. despite growing up being taught how to handle lingering paparazzi and answer questions interviewers sent her way, she was never quite taught how to handle the Hell that is high school. she wasn’t accepted well into the social climate and was frequently bullied and judged. they didn’t believe that she worked to be there, she was only there because of her parents. they didn’t actually know anything about her, but they made these assumptions that eventually led to her pulling out of school. she had been excited to finally see what it’d be like to make friends of her own — friends that weren’t just fed to her because of who her parents were. she didn’t know that same fact would make it all the more difficult.

* ╱ 𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑬𝑬𝑹

♡ she's a theatre kid through and through, and that's all i have to say about that! lia grew up adoring the theatre, not only watching the shows her parents were casted in but almost every single one she could become an audience to! it was to no surprise when the public found her in minor and supporting roles as a child, and it was pretty much expected for her to become one of the next big names in broadway — she was anticipated to make the Big Move to new york once she got her footing in the industry!

♡ as time progressed, she continued to pursue theatre, slowly taking on more mature roles. every now and then she would be given television/film offers, but it was more of a side gig at the time. theatre was truly what she was passionate about. even though it was a profession forced on her, it was no lie that she actually enjoyed it.

♡ she began to develop her own fame outside of her parents around the time she was seventeen/eighteen, with a supporting role in an independent film that garnered pretty notable success. around this time, her parents invested in a publicist/agent just for her, a relative of edith who was also involved in the industry. it's true when they say it's bad to mix personal affairs with business because things began to take a bit of a turn for miss lia!

♡ her pr team was really big on transforming her the Big Name everyone expected her to be, all the while creating an identity completely separate from her family where she can thrive. and that’s exactly what they did. they created an identity.

♡ she had a love/hate relationship with being associated with her parents. on one hand, it was a burden having to constantly live with the expectation of being just as successful as them, but on the other, it fueled her fantasies of being the dream family she had always wanted them to be.

♡ they stressed the importance of whom she associated with, they slowly transitioned her out of theatre and immersed her completely into the film industry, lining her up for roles that would eventually become quite memorable. they took who lia was and restructured her as they saw fit, and lia went along with all of this because they constantly reassured her that this was what was best for her career. she didn't want to go against family, for to ruin any connections with her parents would be a step closer to losing them completely, so she played along in this role made just for her.

♡ her brain eventually became fine tuned to see relationships as “how can this benefit me?” rather than actual companionship which Sucks bc she totally wants friendship — she’s always craved it — but in the back of her mind there’s always this lil checkbox where she has to get something from this which is Not Healthy but she doesn’t know what to do about it because she’s in too deep to change anything

♡ she’s become so detached from her individuality and become the rising starlet her team shaped her into. she hasn’t been in a musical production in a long time, so it’s as if they ripped a major part of her identity away from her. but i guess that was the plan all along. i don’t wanna say that her mom's cousin has some lingering resentment toward her due something along the lines of always living in her shadow… but her mom's cousin has some lingering resentment toward her mom. it’s just cleverly disguised because lia is technically thriving when you look at it from the outside. inside, she yearns for her past.

♡ in the past few years, she’s been conditioned to want the world. she thinks she is owed it, but this sentiment is also fueled by her longing. she has this hunger for success that’s highkey kinda unhealthy! she isn’t even capable of discussing these things with her parents because they’re all busy all the time! her team would tell her to say yes to projects, pr stuff including false articles later debunked just for the publicity, whatever works! she’s been forced into this addiction for attention but it’s pretty much a result of her channeling the negative energy toward her career… to help her career? but in a way that’s detrimental to her own health. her sleep schedule? fucked up! she’s ruining herself from the inside out and she doesn’t want to admit it!

♡ her sentiment toward her public identity is akin to lottie person of the snotgirl comic! who she is interpreted as on social media isn’t the whole truth. she posts as if she’s under careful watch because, well, she is. anything her team didn't like simply didn't cut it and was deleted almost immediately followed by a sharp scolding. "image is everything" is one of the many sentences ingrained into her mind. an effortless kind of everyday, that's what she was supposed to be. idk how to explain it well but u know those instagrams where it looks super casual but is probably super planned? yes? idk in my head she has an instagram feed like hyulari or pameluft where it looks rly normal but it's rly pretty

♡ i'm trying to, like, put it into words what her persona is perceived as, but it's something along the lines of a person you think you know but you really don't. you see her posts, you see who she's with, where she's having coffee, but who is lia, really?

♡ clearly, this entire situation can get extremely overwhelming! the melatonin she takes to help control her sleeping habits also gifts her with the side effect of irritability, so there have been times when she “slipped up” and Snapped! her fans are quick to defend her, however, claiming she’s tired and needs rest, or place blame on the individuals who dare disrespect her privacy and personal space.

♡ scandals are also something she isn’t immune to. she frequents club and party settings often, and rumors often circulate about her activities, but it's easy to shift blame on bad influences. her image isn't exactly squeaky clean, but hey, as her team likes to say, "total prudes don't get attention"

♡ people who work with lia either love her or hate her, there's really no in between. she's friendly or stuck-up. some believe she's ungrateful, maybe they're onto something. she doesn't cause trouble on sets, but people love to make assumptions about this girl whose identity they can't seem to crack. but they'll be damned if they don't see her come in every morning with a smile on her face.

♡ if it wasn't clear, she despises the identity she’s forced into! it feels like a role she has to play almost 24/7, and she’d easily give it all up if it didn’t mean losing everything good that came from it. she missed the girl she used to be, the girl anyone could easily approach to talk about their day. she doesn’t know amelia anymore. she hasn’t been amelia for a long time, only lia.

♡ she learned recently that the contract with her team is set for a renewal soon, which prompted a crisis within lia. to terminate the contract would mean freedom, but at what cost? spicy, stay tuned.

* ╱ 𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀

♡ lia and her relationship with her own identity has definitely affected her personality and how she portrays herself even when she is at her most comfortable

♡ my base inspiration that Started It All for lia came from me watching a stephanie soo vlog KSDLHGDSG so yea she's like this likable, kinda loud and blunt personality but that comes more as a surprise to people who get to know her because she's been molded into having a more suppressed type of character — friendly, but never too much

♡ for the sake of her sanity, i'm gonna say that she still holds on to her personality in fear of becoming too absorbed by her public, consumable image, but there are times when she confuses the two. she can slip up and say something a bit too blunt in an interview or find herself holding back with her close friends. she's essentially become a blend of her true nature and her public image where it's almost the same thing

♡ incredibly, incredibly insecure! lia does not have a hold on her own identity, so even the smallest things will make her question everything! she constantly wonders if there’s a party happening that she’s not invited to, if people like her, if people are gossiping about her. so many aspects of her current identity have been conditioned to be close enough to genuine that she actually doesn’t know what’s real anymore.

♡ she can be a little bit manipulative if it comes down to her career. she doesn’t really mean it but she can’t help it at this point!

♡ if she’s friends with someone, even if it’s for some symbiosis-type relationship, she will play into that role, she will act as if it’s real. even if she doesn’t believe it, she wants to believe it because she also is unsure if she’s capable of real feelings??! she thinks she’s devoid of emotion but she just … doesn’t think about it. like, she doesn’t want to admit to herself that she cares about people bc she knows the Ugly side of her brain will hyper-analyze the relationship and find ways to sabotage it for herself to the point where she can’t enjoy it anymore — so i guess it's safest for her to think that this really isn't her! coping mechanisms let's roll out!

♡ she’s definitely had her fair share of significant others in the past, but they’ve been mixed into a bag of a bunch of pr relationships (she's had so many) so she doesn’t know if she’s capable of actually loving someone. it! all! seems! fake! but she definitely craves affection and will try to find it wherever she can.

♡ tldr she's actually a nice gal, outgoing, caring, but she can't help but think that she's a robot because she thinks too much about how people see her

* ╱ 𝑭𝑼𝑵 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑺

♡ super prone to asian glow

♡ loves anything peach! peach soju with yakult is her favorite alcoholic beverage, peach is her favorite color, but she doesn't like actual peaches??? make it make sense

♡ credited as lia jeong in everything. feels weird if someone addresses her as amelia if they're not reading an official document or really close to her.

♡ feels a strange connection to "the i love you song" from the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee

♡ her favorite film genre to work on is definitely romance because it's fun to pretend to be loved! coming of age is a close second.

#bratsintro #me: censors celeb names Just In Case . i rly dk how search algorithms work #ALSO THIS TOOK TOO LONG IM SORRY SHE SAID SHE WASNT JETLAGGED BUT SHE LIED #idk how to explain things well .... n some things arent exactly super set bc i havent written her yet so who knows !#but this is the general idea !#i rly dont think this makes any sense dskgljhsdgs it was a collaborative effort between my last weeks brain . my yesterdays brain . n todays #my brain did 3 backflips tryin to write this

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