#when they're trying to learn how to do something . and tell them that they're wrong etc because that will stunt their growth and they can

[turn-my-hollow-purple]

What Clique Stereotype Each AOT Character Is

this is in honor of the fact that the only thing on my mind right now is GENUINELY gothkasa like omfg I need her so bad it's not even funny you guys PLUH EASEEEE-

Eren: you're surprised he's actually passing his classes because he never turns in work, etc. (thanks to Armin and Mikasa); all the girls like him but he just exist you guys.. I will not fall into the Eren frat boy agenda I swear... (I want to so bad) but yeah he kinda bullies other kids and says "no it's just a joke, trust"

Armin: chess club captain! y'all knew this was coming I'm afraid but he's a cutie pie... obviously a brainiac... maybe a band kid too (positive)

Mikasa: she is a part of the alt kids, falling into the goth subculture! goth music, dark clothes, gloomy vibes, and boy oh boy does she pull it off

Jean: he's like... how do I put this... he's the kid who's quarterback on the football team and the lead in the school musical. A man who can do both dare I say

Connie: CLASS CLOWN! But not the kind that thinks he's better than anyone, people actually enjoy Connie's humor. Occasional spit ball at the teacher though... he frequents detention

Sasha: she is the 'leaves class early and shows up to class late' stereotype... except it's not intentional. And when she is in class? She's asleep.

Annie: she's also in the alt scene with Miksasa, but she fits into the grunge, skater kid scene. This means dark clothes as well, but she's got her skateboard, a vape, eyeliner, and emo music (I'm projecting slightly)

Bertholdt: he's giving class vice-president... he's a little goody-two shoes but not popular enough to be the actual class president. People enjoy him though because he's a sweetie

Reiner: That one kid you swear you've never seen without headphones on like are they permanently in your ears or something bitch hello? He's also a band kid (derogatory)

Ymir: she is also a part of the alt scene but she is 100% the queer stoner girl (also drug dealer lmfao); she dresses more boho vibes but always has some form of weed on her and she is your plug... also lowkey an art kid

Historia: my darling theatre kid. She's the lead in all the plays, musicals, performances, etc. She's really talented and pretty and everyone loves her so much. She probably gets homecoming queen

Levi: that one literature teacher that never seems to give 100% no matter how well the work is done... will blatantly tell a student that they're wrong instead of the classic 'oh that's a good try... not exactly what I was looking for though', it's just straight up 'no that's wrong.'

Erwin: this is the male history teacher who everyone's kind of in love with just because he's so attractive and lowkey so fun to learn from, but you also speculate might be kinda gay? He gets super into his lectures and his students love how interactive he is

Hange: OKAY SO- they're the science teacher who lowkey doesn't know wtf is happening but goes with it anyway... sometimes the students have to teach them what they're supposed to be doing and if you're in their class, there's a good chance you're fearing for your life at some point during lecture

[powdermelonkeg]

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

[ponchigg]

How To Actually Set Intention To Reality Shift.

Original post made by LadyNuggie on the reddit shifting community r/Shiftingrealities. All credits to them.

Setting the intention to shift is one of the most widely discussed topics in the shifting community. A lot of shifters (especially on tiktok) will tell you "all you need to shift is intention." One girl literally said, "all you need to shift is intention, and if anyone tells you otherwise, they're lying." Something about that didn't sit right with me and it took me a while to put my finger on why that statement bothered me.

The thing is, first of all, all you need to shift is intention and the right altered state of consciousness that works for you so you can connect to your DR and detach from your CR. But besides that, let's say all you did need to shift was intention. Well then, how do you set that intention? Because there is a right way to set intention and a wrong way.

Setting intention isn't going to sleep half hoping you wake up in your DR. Some people have literally shifted that way, but that doesn't mean that that is how you actually set intention. The key to setting intention is moving a message, desire or want from your conscious mind into your subconscious mind. Your conscious mind makes up about 5% of what we call "the mind". The remaining 95% is your subconscious and unconscious mind. Your subconscious is comprised of everything you've ever seen, heard, tasted, and experienced. Your thoughts, beliefs, values, and habits all stem from the workings of your subconscious mind. That is why "reprogramming your subconscious mind" is a popular topic in the shifting community.

Now, you set intention by ingraining or imprinting your desire into your subconscious mind. Simply having a thought or want in your head does not mean that the intention has been set. And this is where I explain what prospective memory is.

Prospective memory is when you have a "prospect" or something in mind that you want to accomplish later. Maybe you want to remember to buy more toilet paper the next time you drive by target or you need to remember to pick up your sister from her piano recital. You remember to do those tasks in the future because of prospective memory.

When trying to learn how to lucid dream, one of the first concepts you come across is reality checking, which is basically performing an action multiple times throughout the day so that you get used to it and at some point do it in a dream (because it's been ingrained into your subconscious and has become a habit). So if your reality check is counting your fingers, when the action pops up in a dream, you become lucid because in a dream you could have 8 or 4 fingers on one hand and you realize it's a dream!

Let's say you told yourself that whenever you walk into a room or stand up from a seat, you would do a reality check. That is you utilizing your prospective memory. That way, the action shows up in a dream because your subconscious mind "remembered" to do it!

So how does this relate to shifting? Well, a major reason why sleep methods don't work for a lot of people is because (like me) they have weak prospective memory. You could tell me to clap twice in the next 30 seconds and I'll forget. So it's no wonder that I "forget" to shift when I use sleep methods.

You shift with a sleep method when you set the intention to shift (using prospective memory) to your DR and detach from your CR through an altered state of consciousness (in this case, that would be sleep). When you successfully shift using a sleep method, it is because your subconscious "remembered" to do so!

This is also why a lot of people have dreams about their DR. Because the images, people and sensations from their DR have been ingrained in their subconscious mind, so they dream about it! I've literally had dreams where I walked through a portal to try to shift although I wasn't lucid.

So if you want to use sleep methods, (although this is important for any kind of shifting method) I highly recommend working on your prospective memory by giving yourself little tasks to do throughout the day. You could also start doing reality checks, that way, even if you don't shift at least you could have a lucid dream which you could use to shift anyways.

An Example of a Prospective Memory Exercise for Shifting (can also be used for lucid dreaming):

▪️ The next time I walk into the kitchen I will: do a reality check and remind myself to shift to my DR when I go to sleep.

▪️ The next time I turn on a light bulb I will: do a reality check and remind myself to shift to my DR when I go to sleep.

▪️ The next time I pick something up from the floor I will: do a reality check and remind myself to shift to my DR when I go to sleep.

▪️ The next time I flush the toilet I will: do a reality check and remind myself to shift to my DR when I go to sleep.

Try to do each task 3 times each day. Good luck!

[barcaatthemoon]

just a kid iv || alexia putellas x teen!reader ||

You go on a double date with Alexia and Olga.

Previous

"Mi amor, we are going to be late!" Carmen called out a she stepped into her bedroom. She looked around trying to find you, confused by the fact that you weren't where she had seen you last. Quietly, you stepped up behind her, having moved to the bathroom to finish up your hair.

"We'll be fine. Alexia tells me and Alba the wrong time every week because she thinks we'll be late," you said. Carmen jumped up as she turned around to face you. "How do I look jumpy?"

"Perfect." Carmen cupped your cheeks and leaned down to kiss you. You kissed her back a couple of times before pulling away. Carmen looked at you like a kicked puppy, but you had to keep going or else you'd never leave. Alexia was good about you dating Carmen, but she had set a lot of boundaries up with you staying over at Carmen's more and more.

The two of you arrived just 5 minutes after the time that Alexia had given you. Unsurprisingly, neither her nor Olga had gotten to the restaurant yet. Still, you and Carmen found a booth and ordered drinks while you waited for them to arrive. You were very caught up in playing with some of the rings on Carmen's hand, causing you to miss Alexia and Olga walking into the restaurant.

"They're adorable," Olga whispered as she tugged on Alexia's hand. "I don't think I've ever seen Chiqui look at anybody that way."

"Because she hasn't looked at anybody like that before. It's her first love, I think, I don't really know. We haven't really talked about relationships much, Irene and I kind of kept telling her that she was too young." Alexia hung her head shamefully. Olga nudged her forward, letting Alexia break your little bubble with Carmen. "Both hands on the table Chiqui."

"Alexia!" Both you and Olga hissed. You kicked at your captain while Olga swatted her shoulder. Alexia looked somewhat proud of herself, and you knew in that moment that she had been waiting to use that line. You rolled your eyes as you set the hand that had been on Carmen's knee onto the table.

"Stop teasing or they won't want to be around you," Olga scolded. Alexia rolled her eyes at the insinuation, knowing that you still had a couple of months before the club would let you move out of Alexia's apartment. The two of you had reached an agreement about time you were allowed to spend at Carmen's. Alexia gave you the two off days a week to go over there, and occasionally an extra one or two depending on how you had been at practice.

"What are you talking about? Carmen is mi amiga, she's got a good head on her shoulders. It's the other one we need to worry about," Alexia teased. You scoffed at that, although it wasn't necessarily untrue. You had always been a pretty decent kid, but next to Carmen, you looked like a delinquent. She was, as you had learned over the past year, a lot like Alexia.

It wasn't a bad thing. You helped Carmen to be a bit less uptight, and Carmen helped you stay on track. The two of you balanced each other out nicely, and it was something that everybody around the two of you were noticing quite a bit lately. Both your teammates and Carmen's liked to tease the two of you about it, as well as the fact that you had a hard time keeping your hands off of her. It wasn't in a sexual way, but rather that you found Carmen to be very physically comforting, despite her unwillingness to initiate PDA.

…

You happily took the last box from the back of Alexia's car. This was the day you had been waiting to come for weeks, moving day. You weren't sure how Olga managed to do it, but she convinced Alexia to let you move in with Carmen a whole two weeks earlier than originally planned. Technically, you were 18 now, but Alexia had been a stickler for all the paperwork that had been filled out when you originally signed with the club.

"Ale, come on, you knew this was happening. Besides, she's already been here all week. We're just bringing some of (Y/n)'s stuff." You could hear Olga comforting Alexia as the woman tried not to break down in the lobby. You could only imagine how much of a wreck she had been. Alexia loved you like you were her little sister, which you practically were. She had taken care of you for the past three years now, and it wasn't easy for either of you to leave each other. "Here, let me take that, and you talk to her, please."

"Um, okay," you agreed awkwardly. Once the box was in Olga's hands, Alexia was rushing over to hug you. "Where did this come from? You were practically trying to push me out of your place a week ago."

"It was hasty, and I'd like for you to come home now, I miss you," Alexia muttered sadly into your shoulder. You sighed as you pulled Alexia over to a bench by the elevators. "You just moved in with me, you can't leave so soon. What if you don't wake up on time for practice?"

"Ale, I am essentially moving in with a younger, hotter version of you. I will never be late for anything with Carmen there, trust me. If it would make you feel better, since I haven't gotten my license yet, you could take me to practice until I get it. Oh, and you'll still see me every week for dinner, Eli would kill me if I missed it," you told her. Alexia seemed to perk up a little, but you could tell that she was still extremely upset over you moving out.

"Will you come with me to brunch with Alba? Oh, and bring Carmen, I'd like to rub it in her face that she's single and we aren't."

"Alexia, be nice!" you scolded. Alexia pulled a face before both of you started laughing. "Yes, I'll bring Carmen with me to brunch with Alba. Now that we have that settled, can we please go upstairs? Alba and Carmen are working on dinner, and I am really hungry."

"Of course, come on kid." Alexia helped you up from the bench and kept her arm around your shoulders the whole way. You were barely an inch shorter than her, but Alexia acted as if you were half her height. You knew that it didn't matter how old you got or how far you went in life, you'd always been the same scared little kid that Alexia had met your first practice.

[harunayuuka2060]

Kalim: Good morning!

Silver: Good morning too, Kalim. May I ask what brings you here so early?

Kalim: MC promised we would hang out today! *grins*

Silver: Um, but... they're busy training with Malleus right now.

Kalim: Oh, is that so? That's fine! Can I watch?

Silver: ...

Silver: Yes, that won't be a problem.

Malleus: You're quick on your feet, dear, but you'll need to move even faster if you want to land a hit on me.

MC: I have a quick question, Dada: has a human ever managed to hit you?

Malleus: *chuckles* No.

MC: *stops in their tracks and looks at him with a stern gaze*

Malleus: *amused* What's wrong, dear?

MC: Fighting you would feel like trying to strike at thin air.

Malleus: *chuckles* Indeed, it would, but you would have a significant advantage over your peers.

MC: ...

MC: Then wouldn’t it be wiser to have Sebek or Silver as my practice partner?

Malleus: ...

Malleus: I'm hurt to learn that my dear child no longer wishes for me to be their mentor.

MC: That's not what I- Never mind. *smiles* Let's just continue with the training.

Malleus: *chuckles*

Kalim: MC~!!!! *is running towards them*

Silver: Wait, Kalim!

Malleus: ...

Malleus: Did you invite him?

MC: Yes, but he's too early.

Malleus: Should I send him back to Scarabia?

MC: That would be unnecessary.

Kalim: Haha, sorry! I thought it would be okay!

MC: Apart from interrupting our training, you didn’t do anything wrong.

Kalim: Oh, but I was planning to watch you.

MC: Why?

Kalim: Because-

Kalim: ...

Kalim: I think it’d be cool to see how you fight.

MC: ...

Kalim: *seems to have fallen into a trance*

MC: ...

MC: *smiles* Would you like to know what weapons I use?

Kalim: I would appreciate it if you tell me.

MC: Well then...

Jamil: They're skilled in combat and can handle a variety of weapons. I had a feeling they would be useful. *smirks*

Jamil: With Kalim, I'll be able to understand their routine, and when the right opportunity arises, I'll use it to implement my plan.

Jamil: *chuckles* I hold no ill will towards you, but you will be the reason Kalim can no longer remain at this school.

MC: ...

Silver: ...MC? Is there something wrong?

MC: ...

MC: Do you know anyone at this school who can perform hypnosis?

Silver: I'm sorry, but the students here don't reveal their signature spells, so I don't know if anyone can do that. Why do you ask?

MC: I'm simply curious; that's all.

Silver: ...

Silver: There must be a problem.

[chrisbesitos]

younger reader having parent issues :( so whenever Chris snaps at her it reminds her of when she was younger and her dad yelled at her

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀emails i can't send

( warnings: family issues, argument, angst with fluff at the end.

( synopsis: y/n never had a healthy family and this still affect her.

Y/N parents wasn't the best ones. She had a great childhood, playing outside with her friends, a lot of dolls and colorful toys, but still missing something. Doesn't matter what she said or did, it never was enough for them. Never was enough for them to stop screaming, everything fucking night she could hear from her room. Y/N just cried, hugging her favorite plushie against her chest under the blankets, at least when they were screaming with each other, they didn't scream at her.

Growing up dealing with that shit wasn't easy, but she learned how to survive. Cry in silence in the middle of the night, walk around on tiptoe to not disturb her dad, she also learned who's coming by the sound of the steps. This is not living, but there's nowhere to run, nowhere to go.

Until she met Chris, her lovely boyfriend. Her parents didn't like him, they always said he'll end up cheating on her or breaking up, because she's younger than him. At first, Y/N didn't tell anything about her relationship with her parents to Chris, but he started to ask when he realized she always looks upset when they talk about their families. He and his brothers have a great and supportive family, Y/N feel a little jealousy of them.

She said what's going on in the night she asked Chris if she could spend the night, because her parents were mad at her and she couldn't deal with the screams anymore. Chris was supportive, he cleaned her tears and held her until stop crying. Y/N was nineteen, she could move out, Chris said she could stay with him. At first, she denied, because she didn't want to disturb them, but Y/N ended up accepting, at least for a while until she find a place for her.

Chris promised he'll never scream at her, but he didn't keep his promise.

"So you're gonna keep ignoring me?" Y/N said following Chris until their room, Chris wasn't answering her since they got in the car after leaving a dinner with his friends. "Can you fucking answer me?"

"What do you want me to say?" Chris groans, he turned to Y/N with his arms crossed against the chest and the eyebrows frowned.

"What do i want you to say? You're fucking ignoring me since we left, what's wrong with you?" She stamped her foot on the ground, Chris laughed sarcastically. He sat on the couch, shaking his head. "Damn, stop being so childish!"

"I'm being childish? You're the one who is stamping your feet, because I'm not doing what you want."

"What are you talking about, Chris?!" She said, passing her hands through the hair nervously.

"You don't give me five minutes, because I always have to be around you or you fucking cry about." He said, almost screaming. He groaned when she frowned her eyebrows, trying to understand. "Don't play dumb, Y/N. You can be alone for fucking five minutes, you can't act normal around people? You need to keep grabbing my hands and shit."

"I'm sorry if I don't know how to talk with your friends, they fucking older than me." Y/N crossed her arms, stepping back and hardly holding her tears. She doesn't like arguments, Chris knows this, but he's too angry to think straight.

"There we go again, you and your fucking "oh, chris, they're older than me"" He lifted up from the couch, stepping in Y/N's direction. "You're such a cry baby." He screamed in your face, then he realized he took too far.

Her eyes are filled with tears, hugging her own body. Y/N feel like she was a kid once again, small and defenceless. He took too far, he promised he'll never scream at her, because that's what her father used to do and he screamed. Chris felt so. . . So idiot.

"You think I'm a cry baby?" She asked, her voice cracked and this broke Chris' heart. He wasn't an idiot, he was an asshole. What type of boyfriend is he making his girl cry? Chris shook his head, closing his eyes fighting against his tears. He tried to reach for her hands, but she didn't let he hold them.

"I shouldn't have screamed with you, doll. I'm so sorry." He said, his voice was stuck on his throat. Y/N shook her head, more tears were falling from her pretty eyes. He felt like shit for being horrible with his girlfriend, she didn't deserve this.

She didn't deserve him.

"Do you think I'm a cry baby?" She asked again, Chris shook his head approaching her. Y/N took a shaky breath, trying to calm herself down. "So why you call me this?"

"I wasn't thinking, I was so blind being selfish that I didn't think, but I don't think you are." Chris said, embracing her shoulders and moving her towards the couch. Y/N sat down and Chris kneeled down on the floor in front of her, he held her hands. "I'm really sorry, doll. I didn't mean to treat you like this. I was acting like a–"

"Asshole." She said, sniffing.

"Asshole, yes." He said, Chris kissed the back of her hands. "I don't think you're a cry baby, neither childish. I disrespect you and I see this now, you're just trying to fit in and I didn't help you, I'm sorry, doll."

"You hurt me with your words, Chris. And you know I don't like screams, you upset me." Y/N said, she use her fingers to clean the tears on Chris' cheeks. "You promised me, Chris."

"I know, doll, and I'm really sorry. I'll never do that again."

"I'm sorry if I was annoying today, I just didn't know how to fit." She said, looking at Chris with her glassy eyes. He lifted the floor and sat by her side, he pulled her to his lap and kissed her forehead.

"I'm the one who needs to apologize, not you." Chris hugged her shoulders, Y/N rested her head on the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. "I don't know how to fix this, I'm really sorry, Y/N."

"Don't call me Y/N, I'm your doll." Y/N lips leaned in a smile, she lifted her head and looked at Chris. "Never do that again with me, I'm not kidding." She pointed at him and Chris nodded quickly.

"Never again, doll." He smiled, Y/N hugged his neck and Chris caressed her back, giving little kisses on her hair. "I love you, babydoll. Much more than you can think."

"I love you, baby." She whispered. "Now, I know how you can fix this." She gave him a perv smile, Chris laughed caring her to the bed.

tags ; @lizzymacdonald06 @deliciousluminaryanchor @lushjunkie @sweetreliever @watercolorskyy @ivysturnss @brianna-grace12 @blahbel668 @gabri3la-sturns @strnlxlqve @stvrnzcherries @unknvhx @pvssychicken @all4l0vee @i4longhairchris @sluttybitchformattsturniolo

taglist | masterlist

[hellenhighwater]

Mildly weird question for story research purposes: when your cats ride on your shoulder, what does it feel like for you?

Context: My main character has a cat who likes to ride around on her shoulder, and since it's a thing that happens frequently, I'm trying to make sure I write about it well. And, unfortunately, I do not have a cat to even attempt to test it with, so I'm going to the one person I KNOW has experience with this situation.

Specific things that would be helpful to know:

Do you have to be careful not to upset their balance, or can you more or less walk normally once they're up there?

How are they keeping themselves up there? Are there claws involved? Or just good balance?

Where's most of their weight? I looked back at some pictures/vids, and it looks like they typically ride with their front paws on the shoulder and their back paws somewhere a bit below and beside your neck, but I could be wrong.

How long can they stay on your shoulder before one of you has to take a break? Is the weight of the cat tiring, or is it pretty easy to deal with?

Anything else I should be aware of regarding shoulder cats?

Thank you SO MUCH for your help!

Oh, I can definitely answer that! One: It's waaay easier to shoulder a small cat than a big one.

For the most part, they kind of drape themselves over the shoulder; this is specifically what I've trained them to do. Cats will also "shoulder" by draping across both shoulders/back of neck, but this forces your head forward to allow room for them, and it's not comfy. Hence the trained posture. (Malice, in the early days:)

I taught Mal to jump up when I bent forward for her, and circle to face front while I stood up. She can actually do that pretty quickly. Their weight is pretty evenly distributed across the top of the shoulder and down on the pectoral, not really on the back at all. Mal sometimes hooks her back claws into my shirt near the shoulderblade, which is more about balance than weight support. Nim, who was significantly smaller, actually kept her back feet tucked up so that her feet were on the top of my shoulder. This is a significantly more ready posture than Mal's--she would have to readjust for a better foothold to jump down; Nim could leap directly off at a moment's notice. Overall, Nim had far superior shouldering skills to Mal. Malice rides like the meatball she is; I'm hoping she'll learn with age. Here's some pictures of Nim:

To give them a stable position, I do keep my back straight and shoulders back; if I have to pick something up, I will crouch down instead of bending over. If I have to bend forwards, I will put my palm up flat so that they can stand with their front paws on it and keep their body on my shoulder. Generally, I can move, walk, and even work normally. I've cooked, painted, done chores, even run. Both hands are free to use, though generally you can't lift the arm the cat is on above a T position. They don't need to use their claws for balance unless I am doing something really active. I do shoulder almost exclusively on my left shoulder, so that my dominant hand is more free.

The weight is not significant--Nim was only about 8 lbs, Mal is about 11, and because there's no grip to maintain them and they're naturally situated on the shoulder, it's easy to carry them for a long time. I used to walk miles with Nim on my shoulder. It's actually more the heat--cats run hot, and it's a lot of fur on your neck and shoulder if it's warm out. Great in the winter, though!

Notable things you might not realize--their head is in front of yours, so you can still see ear positions, what they're looking at, etc. Nim's night vision/hearing/sense of smell was better than mine, so I could tell if we were sneaking on wildlife based on her reactions and responses to things. You can also feel them tense or adjust posture before they jump or try to get down, and you can feel their tail moving. You can also feel if they're growling or purring, even if you can't hear it. If you're used to paying attention to those cues, you'll notice them while just carrying the cat normally too--Nobody could sneak up behind me if I was carrying Nim facing over my shoulder to the back.

They can jump from shoulder height but it's a hard landing. Usually if I want them down, I just kneel with a knee up, or lift a leg flat while standing so they can jump to the top of my leg and then to the ground.

If I was in a fictional setting and traveling with them long term, I would be investing in a really weird piece of leather armor, that goes to the edge of the neck/crest of shoulder, and down past the bottom of the shoulderblade, with little easy-to-grip leather loops or chainmail on the back of the shoulder.

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Astro thoughts: short n sweet <3 all about the sun

sun in the first house can be well known for how they look. there appearance is what brings them the most attention. There outlook on life must revolve around them in some way shape or form. They have a knack for knowing more than what they lead on, however, people are use to knowing them for how they portray themselves, the personality is a treat once you get to know them honestly.

sun in the second house love to be at home lol. can really be sweet homebodies most of the time, but also they live to have a more balanced life so try taken it easy on them for a while. the second house is the house of finances, stability, and materials, it also has alot to do with talents. in this house, the second house sun person needs time alone to go over some things they have a gift in, another thing with them is that they are pretty material focus. notice how i didnt say materialistic, because everyone deserves to have there needs met, and they don't notice how people think they look when their drive is mainly focused on the material and less on anywhere else.

sun in the third house - communication with people that they love and admire is a dream for them. they need more individuals in their lives who will allow them to speak and allow their thoughts to come out. they have a creative imagination and it must soar doing some type of hobby. sculpting, painting, or even just something like a crossroad puzzle could be what they need to get through the day. they have the ability to know whats wrong with a person as if they're a mind reader.

sun in the fourth house can also come off to be the black sheep in the family. thought i was going to say their the golden child? thats a rare occasion. the golden child is the 1st, 5th, 7th, 10th, 11th houses. this house, if you have any problems with family, your light can burn them a little. so them being the black sheep here is because the 4th house is a very private house, and the sun sheds a light on this house. that means, anything that someone has done or is about to do usually the 4th house sun notices it or sheds a light on it. telling them its wrong etc etc. very nice and sweethearts, needs people who want to be around them in order to feel good.

sun in the 5th house have a knack for entertainment. poetry, acting, singing, dancing.. you name it. they are good at many things, but they are also good at pleasing a crowd. there romance life can be pretty intriguing or they can come off as the hopeless romantic. very sweet, charismatic personalities.

sun in the 6th house (i honestly love this house) have a good aura to them. they bond really well with plants and animals (house of the virgo) and they typically keep to themselves. they love learning and they live their whole lives working at something they love to do. its just what they came here for. fashion could be significant here with people with this placement, its what helps them shine (6th house is connected to the wardrobe).

sun in the 7th house are the popular loners. well liked by a lot of people, but also well rounded. they have a tendency to know a lot about others because people thinks thats a way to get their attention. a lot of gossip energy can be around them. either they are the ones to gossip, or others tend to gossip to them.

sun in the 8th house have intriguing personalities. the way they move, the way the have this mystique to them, but when they open up.. whew. their just a different level of raw. there is a potency to their words that can bring anyone to their knees. because they have a need to heel the inner body/soul/consciousness and unlike others they need their space in order to do it. like a snake coming out of their skin, they change a lot just like any person... but for them it comes with a price.. the old self.

sun in the 9th house are deep philosophers and are VERY intelligent. its because their playful funny nature you dont really notice but.. they are really good at gaining information and would LOVE someone who can match their freak.. that is with the books of course. the perfect travel buddies, and will make you fall in love with them with their free spirits.

sun in the 10th house are very romantic behind close doors. i say this because the 10th house (believe it or not) is very private. they show you what they want you to see. a very inspiring personality. they can have the masses fall in love with them with ease, and can have any man or woman just because of the popular energy thats naturally around their name.

sun in the 11th house needs to familiarize themselves with the masses in order to understand the community better. can be friends with any and everybody. the original loners, but the real cool kids.

sun in the 12th house have a unique outlook on the world and they typically reflect this in their art, their life, their clothes, etc. they have a different stream of thought than their peers so this could typically make them the odd one out. they have a very empathetic personality, and are incredible to work with. they are for the people thats for sure.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Is my punishment almost over?" Emily asked her boyfriend, Joey.

"No, not yet, baby girl..... I think you need to learn your lesson a bit longer."

"But....! The tournament is in a month. How can I perform like this?"

"Not my problem.... You should've thought of that before being such a naughty girl, Emily."

Joey wasn't wrong, in a way..... Almost a year ago he started dating an Olympic silver medalist gymnast, who was known the whole world over for her skill and dexterity. Shortly after dating her, though, he was sent something damning by a random person online.... At the time, Emily was basically flat chested, yet had a cute butt and tended to give the cameras sensual, flirty looks, often blowing kisses and winking at the camera, sometimes bending over unnecessarily to give the people filming her something to zoom in on.....

Turns out when pervy guys reblogged these clips and admitted to masturbating to her performance, she would reply, happily encouraging them. On her official account, zero shame, her with the silver medal as her avatar. She'd tell these random men to 'milk their cocks good' and 'cum real hard for her tight little ass', like some porn star. Joey saw this and was very amused..... So, he decided Emily had to be punished--badly. He told her she had to obey him and take breast growth pills, to give the next national gymnastics tournament before the Summer Olympics a good show.

"I'm sorry, Joey..... you know I can't help myself. I love to flirt."

"Which just tells me how badly you need to be punished. Look at this one I found! Some random married guy posted that he wants to throw you in his van, hogtie you, and put 'a pile of kids in your pretty gut'. Did you block him....?"

She shook her head. "No....."

"Oh wait, you went on an extended RP session in the public comments about how he was going to abduct and rape you. Damn, you're one messed up girl."

"Messed up as a guy that makes his girlfriend grow a pair of boobs that weigh 50lbs each? Knowing she's a gymnast!"

"Nah, not as bad. But hey, think of all the hot interactions you'll have on Instagram now! You're gonna step out, not in your leotard, but a bikini, these gigantic udders spilling out. And you'll do your routine.... as well as you can. Think of how many guys are gonna jerk off to that."

"Fuck.... that's so hot." Emily bit her lip, fondling her pussy and breasts. "They're so heavy.... I look like an idiot with these things....."

"Well, you are an idiot. A horny, drooling idiot, too obsessed with fondling that swollen pussy of yours to care whether or not millions see you flirt with married men and RP getting knocked up by them."

"I'm.... it's just a little addiction, is all. I could try therapy...."

"Nah, I think you deserve to be nothing but walking jerk-off fodder. You're done being a real athlete. They'll just have you on because your oversized, goofy looking udders will make so many desperate, horny men tune in. And a whole bunch of normies to make fun of you."

"Fuck you.... you find these tits sexy..... You just came so hard inside me!"

"Well, I find them less sexy than I do the fact that I made you grow them. Understand?"

She nodded obediently. "Yes, master."

"Good girl, now, isn't it going to be fun watching you balance those giant tits and a belly full of my kids at the next tournament? Damn, by the time the Olympics roll around, those tits will weigh 100lbs each. Won't that be so fitting? I can't wait to see you even try to perform..... Then your career will be sitting on OnlyFans, immobilized by those cartoonish udders, masturbating all day like the drooling, horny idiot you really are deep down. You'll be flirting with your desperate, gross fans, all of your regular fans won't want anything to do with you as you sit there ten hours a days fondling yourself, surrounded by a pair of tits too big for you to carry on your own....."

"Fuck you...."

"Don't act like you don't agree. You aren't an athlete Emily, you aspire to be nothing but walking jerk-off material. So you might as well go for gold, isn't that right?"

Emily bit her lip, rubbing her heavy breasts. "Then I better go for 200lbs each...... be totally trapped by these things...."

"Now that's the perverted little idiot I love."

"I aim to please, Master. ❤️"

[inafever]

On how much Aziraphale has learned since season one:

This is about character development. Inside of a story, everything that happens, happens for a reason. It's meant to tell you something, to teach you or the character of your story, something.

So if the story continues and your character repeats the same mistakes again you know that they are bound to be doomed this time, and even worse the audience is going to certainly lose respect for them, cause they have made the same mistake twice, they haven't learned anything, they're gonna do it again another time, they don't deserve a happy ending. (yes I'm talking about good omens here) So you don't do that to a character that matters to you and you respect even the tiniest bit.

A Lot of us here are thinking that this is what has happened to Aziraphale's character at the end of season two, that he has done it again, repeated the same mistake again and has left Crowley to join heaven and it's been because of reasons like wanting to change Crowley (not true, see this post), still believing in heaven's goodness (not true at all), not being on the same page with Crowley (I'm gonna talk about this one especially in this post) and such likes. But these are the things he should've known better about after 6000 years and all the events that we've learnt about especially throughout season two. (It seems to be rather the whole point doesn't it?)

But we all seem to rather believe that he's made that mistake again nonetheless. so what we're doing here is trying to find reasons to justify the mistake and somehow make the reason behind the wrong actions something relatable to ourselves so we can forgive him when the time comes.

In fact I don't believe that he's made a mistake. for Aziraphale's character to be redeemable, what he has done, must be the only option that he's had for saving them both. I don't care what kind of situation could have resulted in him making this decision, but the only reason, the one and only reason, must be his love for Crowley. Otherwise it'll prove that he hasn't learnt his lessons or doesn't love Crowley enough to make a compromise, and in both cases, he's not worthy of love. He won't earn his happy ending by being tortured and feeling sorry and doing the apology dance for Crowley if he's hurt Crowley out of selfishness and stupidity again

But I'm sure he'll earn his happy ending and I'm sure he's learnt his lessons and it's too late for him to have unlearned them all in a matter of a few seconds. (He is an idiot but he's not stupid) and it's mostly because of this, that I believe the reason why he made that decision, must be very different from what it appears to be on the surface.

Anyway, this post is about what Aziraphale has learned and how he's changed.

I have made a post about their moments of conflict from both season one and two, it's here and you can look it up. This is where you begin to understand how Aziraphale has changed since season one because these are his dialogues after he's had a fight with Crowley in the bandstand, season one:

"even if I did know where the antichrist was I wouldn't tell you we're on opposite sides"

"friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don't even like you"

"there is no our side Crowley. Not anymore. It's over"

And then there's season two, when they disagree on what to do with Gabriel, Aziraphale is the one to point out that they both rely on the life they've built together

He's asking him to help him take care of Gabriel together and in response Crowley leaves

In the final scene he asks Crowley to come back to heaven

"work with me" "We can be together as Angels, Doing good" "I need you."

He says anything he can think of literally to convince him to stay with him and it doesn't work

We start from "we're not friends" and arrive at "work with me. we can be together"

Even if we don't know the reason why he's insisting on taking Crowley back to heaven with him, this is an Angel that has picked up the pace. That wants them to be an us. No matter what.

But these are only a few dialogues. I think there's more than that. I think the show in five and a half episodes (out of six) has tried its hardest to make the point quite clear about how Aziraphale feels about Crowley (or how strongly he feels those emotions). all through the way he looks at him and through his gestures and soft touches from time to time

I'm gonna make another post of those moments separately and I'm gonna link it to this when I do.

update: (here's the post. not just average moments of Aziraphale looking cute, it's something about the way he looks at him)

And I'd like to even compare those wishful glances to some of those from season one, but I can't, cause they are nonexistent in there.

[unclewaynemunson]

Pt2 to this post

'Is something wrong?' Nancy asks, not long after the two of them have taken their familiar spots on the hood of Steve's car. They're basking in what might be the last warm sunlight of the year, looking out over the quarry, at a safe distance from the edge.

It's become a tradition the two of them share, ever since they reconnected back in March. It calms them both, to just sit here and take in the view, no one around but each other. Nancy is one of the few people Steve can share a comfortable silence with: sometimes they sit here quietly for what feels like hours, side by side, listening to music or to nothing but the birds singing around them. But they also have their best conversations here: it's the place where Nancy entrusted him she wanted to break up with Jonathan; it's the place where they talked about their shared past and decided they would always love each other as friends; it's the place where they finally talked about Barbara in a way they couldn't when they were younger. It's where Nancy talked about the ghosts still haunting her and Steve talked about how lonely he sometimes felt.

Steve huffs. 'How did you guess?'

'When you frown, you always do it with your whole face,' Nancy notes. 'So it's hard to miss, really.'

Steve glances at her side profile. There's a serenity to her features that's still relatively new. It means she's healing, slowly learning how to be happy again. It means she stopped waiting for the end of the world and started believing in a real future again. It makes Steve proud of how far they both have come.

'I had a fight with Eddie,' he confesses. 'And with Dustin, I guess.'

'What happened?'

He sighs. 'It's complicated.'

'Wanna tell me about it?'

The look in her eyes is kind and inviting. Steve hesitates. He wants to, but he doesn't know if he can. It's a risk. It's scary.

But he can't imagine Nancy Wheeler ever being careless with his secrets. He can't imagine her judging him, can't imagine her being as small-minded as most people in this town.

He was planning on telling her anyway, because things had been going so well with Eddie lately and – no, he shouldn't think about that right now. But maybe it would actually be nice to talk about it with Nancy.

'So, um...' His throat feels tight and his hands are sweaty. 'I recently discovered some things about myself. I-' The words get stuck somewhere on the way to his mouth, and he clears his throat.

Nancy doesn't push, but only gives him an encouraging nod, waiting for him to find his voice again.

'I found out I like boys,' he finally manages to confess. 'And I need you to know that – that that doesn't mean that what I felt for you wasn't real. It was. I loved you, and now I fell in love with a boy. And-'

'Steve.' Nancy's hand suddenly covers his, causing him to finally jerk his head away from the view over the quarry, to focus on her face again instead.

Her eyes are wide, and she squeezes his hand.

'You don't have to explain yourself to me,' she tells him. 'We're good. But thank you for telling me. For trusting me with this.'

Steve heaves out a relieved sigh, and Nancy smiles; it's that genuine kind of smile which reveals all kinds of dimples and soft lines across her face.

'We might be more similar than you thought,' she tells him, a faint blush spreading over her cheeks.

'Really?' Her words make his breath catch in his throat. He squints at her, trying to see her in this new light. 'Are you saying what I think you're saying?'

She shrugs. 'I don't know. I'm not sure yet,' she admits. 'Still figuring things out.'

'Take your time, there's no rush,' he tells her. 'But...' He bumps his shoulder against hers. 'When you're done figuring it out, talk to me, okay?'

She nods. 'Okay.'

For a while, it's quiet between the two of them. Some kind of raptor circles high above them in the sky. They both follow it with their eyes until it disappears among the tree tops west of the quarry.

'Is it Eddie?'

Steve blinks dumbly a couple of times.

'Wha- what?'

'The guy you were talking about. The one you fell in love with. It's Eddie, isn't it?'

'Jesus, Wheeler, what kind of sorceress are you?' Steve exclaims.

Nancy laughs again. 'You're not being as subtle as you think,' she tells him. 'The two of you have been hooking up for a while now, haven't you?'

Steve huffs dramatically. 'This is unfair. You know everything; I can't even tell you my own secrets anymore!'

'So what happened?' Nancy asks. 'You said you had a fight with him?'

'It's fucking stupid,' he sighs. 'Dustin was getting way too excited about the fact that I was gonna be hanging out with you, so I told him I was seeing someone. Next thing I knew, he was telling Eddie all about how I was seeing a girl.' He waves his hands around to make annoyed air quotations. 'I wanted to tell Eddie it was a misunderstanding, but Dustin was there, so I couldn't out us just like that, and he looked so betrayed and heartbroken... He didn't wanna listen to me.'

Steve sighs; he still can't manage to forget that look in Eddie's eyes when Dustin delivered the big news. 'I wish I would've talked about what I felt for him earlier. I should've been honest when I had the chance, y'know. But I was afraid he wouldn't wanna label what we had, that he wouldn't feel the same way – and now we're in this whole mess. God, he must hate me right now, Nance.'

To his surprise, Nancy gives him an unexpected slap against his arm.

'Ouch, what the hell was that for?!'

'What are you even doing here with me, Steve? You should've gone after him, tell him how you feel!'

'I tried, obviously, but he didn't wanna listen to me!'

'So make him listen! You're in love with him, he obviously feels the same way about you, and you let him leave to wallow in a broken heart he doesn't even need to have!' She rolls her eyes and slides off the car, adding something under her breath that sounds suspiciously like an exasperated 'Boys!' before she pulls Steve off the car as well. 'C'mon, time to get your ass over to the trailer park. Right. Now,' she says through gritted teeth. And, well, Steve knows better than to argue with a determined - and truthfully quite terrifying - Nancy Wheeler.

Read the last part here Taglist: @withacapitalp @ultimatedreamer104 @irregular-child @jcmadgirl @estrellami-1 @myguiltyartpleasure @hallucinatedjosten @jaybren @thew1ldblueyonder @melodymeddler @alycatavatar @zoeweee @lolawonsstuff @fairy-princette @saramelaniemoon @phirex22 @krazyperson @xxsky-shockxx (I only put people on this list who explicitly asked to be tagged. That's really no problem, I love to do that so dw about asking, but I got a lot of relatively vague reactions to the previous post that i'm not gonna dissect and interpret, bc I don't wanna clog anyone's notes unwanted. So just to be clear: i consider it a huge compliment if anyone asks for a tag but please do it clearly if you do!)

[thebibliosphere]

Whenever I get a particularly nasty message, I always check to see if they're following me first. Nine times out of ten, they're not. But they're also, unfortunately, the same people who feel entitled to send me multiple messages in a row, most of them heavily steeped in the language of moralization and purity.

Like whenever I talk about painkillers or pain management, I always get a handful of well-meaning people who are maybe new to my blog or are just young, asking me if I've tried diet/exercise/meditation, etc.

Sometimes I'll respond to them. Other times I'll just ignore them because I get those kinds of messages so often it's like white noise, and maybe part of me hopes if they stick around on my blog, they'll learn it through exposure via my incessant bitching.

When you see me responding to someone offering that kind of advice, it's either because I'm at my fucking limit or because I'm hoping it's a teachable moment and an otherwise seemingly nice person might unlearn some harmful biases.

The people who don't follow me are not interested in any kind of conversation on the subject. They do, however, feel the most qualified to tell me, someone they didn't know existed until one of my posts crossed their dash, how to manage my life, everything I'm doing wrong, and why I'm a bad person.

And for them, my disability is proof that I am a bad person because they view health as a moral issue.

If you're sick, it's because you don't exercise enough, don't eat the right foods, don't pray enough, don't do enough. They genuinely believe that if they say and do all the right things, like a Good Person, they'll never get sick.

It's their security blanket against the harsh reality that anyone is one bad day away from disability. One faulty gene, one bad infection, one bad accident away from a life-long diagnosis. And if they do get sick, it's a test. A challenge to be overcome with Willpower as they learn the True Meaning of Life.

It can never just be a simple fact of life that sickness happens. That disability exists without a moral reason.

And it's suffocating.

Day in, day out. Folks who don't know me from fucking Eve telling me I'm being punished. Not always as outright as that. They don't always use that word. But sometimes I appreciate it when they do because at least then they're being honest. They're not couching it in the softer language of leftist circles. Not hiding it behind concern.

Because the truth is, there are just as many folks who think they're liberal and enlightened who'd be happy if disabled people just stopped existing. They don't like thinking about us because it makes them think about themselves. About their own fragility and mortality, and they hate that. They hate that there's something they can't control with their thoughts and actions. That they can't moralize their way out of.

Honestly, it's a relief when people are just cunts about it because I can hit the block button, safe in the knowledge that they were never the kind of person who would see me as a person. But when it's some 20yo kid with their pronouns, orientation, and "ACAB" in their profile spouting the same kind of moralization, sometimes even with the language of eugenics, it feels like such a betrayal. Like a loss.

And perhaps if I wasn't multiply disabled, I'd have the energy to pull them back. To tell them why they're wrong and hope like hell they realize what they're doing is harmful. But then, if I wasn't disabled, they wouldn't be messaging me, so I wouldn't be dealing with it.

I wouldn't be expected to use my existence as a teachable moment to spoon-feed them compassion. But I am, and I do. When I can. Not always with the grace that's warranted. Not always with the thought and compassion I ought to. (And I don't; I acknowledge that. I'm prone to anger and off-the-cuff remarks that are hurtful too. Though I try to keep most of it to myself or save it for therapy.)

Basically, if you've made it this far through the TED talk, don't be fucking cunts to disabled people. Don't tell chronically ill people to try yoga. Don't moralize pain relief. Suffering is not noble.

You need to kill the cop and the priest in your head telling you otherwise.

And also if you're the nice people sending me nice messages. Thank you. It helps cushion all of *gestures* this.

[walkingstackofbooks]

A 9-year-old Julian Bashir who has had nightmares about evil doctors in an alien hospital for as long as he can remember. He doesn't tell his parents though because "he's a big boy now" and nightmares are for little kids, so he knows he should deal with them alone. And even if he'd like a hug sometimes, his mum only gives him hugs for doing well, not for doing badly, so he figures there's no point bothering her

A 15-year-old Julian Bashir who realises that the nightmares he used to have were based on the apparently very real alien hospital his parents had taken him to as a kid, and spends hours trying to figure out what were real memories and what his mind had made up over the years as he slept. The nightmares come back with an intensity, but they're nothing compared with how he's feeling when he's awake, and pretty soon they become a normal background noise of his life.

A 19-year-old Julian Bashir who's finally been moved into a solitary room after his third roommate in as many weeks complained about the almost-nightly screams. His advisor asks if he wants to speak to anyone: he claims they're just night terrors and he doesn't actually remember them. Besides, even if he could talk about what was in them, he probably wouldn't, because he's fine - he's used to them by now.

A 24-year-old Julian Bashir who gets woken from his nightmares by warm hands and gentle kisses, and learns what is like to be soothed back to sleep by the soft voice of Palis Delon

A 32-year-old Julian Bashir who has a different nightmare every night. The last year's been difficult. But then, it's been difficult for everyone, and he knows he's far from the only one to be suffering from nightmares at the moment.

A 34-year-old Julian Bashir who can't stop dreaming about the torture he went through four weeks ago, who's missing Ezri and who Miles is increasingly concerned about. When the O'Briens offer him their spare room for a while, he warns them multiple times about his nightmares, and is pathetically grateful when that doesn't change their minds. "We have nightmares too, Julian," says Keiko. "We can cope with yours."

A 34-year-old Julian Bashir who is confused when, three days later, Miles remarks, "You are having a bad run of those nightmares, aren't you?"

"They've been better than usual, actually," he replies awkwardly. "It's been really nice being able to go back to sleep afterwards, for once -- you and Keiko have been so generous in coming and checking on me."

"Course we're gonna come and check on you," says Miles gruffly. "You woke up terrified. We're not letting you do that alone."

"I'd be fine, Miles," Julian reassures. "I'm hardly going to expect one of you to come in every night."

Miles pauses. "...How long are you expecting to have them 'every night' for?" he asks, with some concern. "I mean, after a thing like this, how long does it usually take them to settle down?"

Julian stares at Miles. "I... have nightmares, Miles," he replies, frowning. "Just like you. Nightmares happen every night."

"No, they don't," says Miles, equally confused. "Don't get me wrong, they can do: after something big then sure, they're like that for a few weeks - a couple of months, even. But eventually they fall down to once, twice a week..."

Julian is looking at Miles incredulously. "That might be how it works for you," he says. "I guess my brain's different to yours. Mine don't stop, they just... mix. Change. Get confused with one another, eventually. I've had more dreams about being genetically modified by Sloan in the Dominion camp than I care to remember, you know?"

Miles' concern has turned into abject dismay. "You're saying you've had nightmares every single night since the Dominion took you?" he exclaims.

"Well, maybe not every single night!" retorts Julian, a little unsure what Miles is getting so het up about. "I do have some days when I don't... But yeah, pretty much. I've had nightmares most nights since I was fifteen, it's just how my brain processes stuff."

"Fifteen?"

...

A 34-year-old Julian who finds out that having nightmares every night for two decades is, apparently, "not normal" and something he should be seeking help for.

If Ezri comes back alive, he supposes he might take it up with her.

[twilightkitkat]

Everyone knows that the MCU is interconnected to set up crossovers and grand finales to arcs, right?

Imagine this: after the events of No Way Home, Peter is living alone. He has nobody who remembers him outside of his Spiderman persona, and the world has forgotten his existence. He's working a shitty job and living in a shitty apartment and is completely isolated from the world.

At the same time, Wade and Logan have started living together after saving the world. They both understand each other in ways that nobody else does. They relate to each other's pain. They begin taking jobs and missions together and learning to truly live instead of just survive.

At this moment, their character arcs moved in opposite directions. Peter went from having it all—friends, family, fame, respect—to having nothing. Meanwhile, Wade and Logan went from having nothing—Wade had lost his sense of purpose in life and girlfriend while Logan had lost the X-men and was outcasted by society—to finally having each other. They are creating their home just as Peter lost his.

But despite this, not everything is going well. Maybe Logan and Wade are struggling due to miscommunication and their insecurities. Maybe a new villain comes along and puts external stress on them. Maybe the timeline is still unstable and they need to keep doing maintenance work to restore it. The point is, there is a stressor.

It is then that their stories intersect.

Wade, who is the only current character known to break the fourth wall. Who would look at Spiderman and know that he's Peter Parker despite him being erased.

Peter, who is completely isolated in a world that has forgotten him. Who sees everything he wanted dangled in front of him each time he passes a billboard with Stark Industries or a group of friends laughing or a parent and their child. Who is desperate for any sense of belonging and feels the loneliness eating away at him.

Wade would run into him while Spiderman was on patrol. He'd be sitting on a building, staring off into the distance forlornly. He'd recognize the loneliness in him and strike up a conversation.

And Peter would nearly cry when Wade offered to buy him a sandwich. For the first time in God knows how long, he felt like someone actually cared about him behind the mask.

And so they started talking. Peter ran into Wade and they'd wave at each other and talk. Wade would get to know Peter as the person and not the hero.

And Wade would know a little too much. Would remember details a little too well. Took to him like an old buddy who he had known for years. (And really, it was the case. Deadpool and Spiderman were old friends... just not in this universe.)

And Peter would latch onto the first person who showed him kindness, even if they're loud and morally questionable and a mercenary. He finally had a friend again. Someone he could just talk to.

And then the conflict in Wade's own life spirals and reaches a head. And for one reason or another, he winds up trapped at Peter's apartment, bloodied and injured.

He'd fought with Logan earlier that day and he was too far. So he showed up at Peter's expecting to get patched up a little and let his healing factor do the work.

...Except he doesn't heal. Something was gravely wrong. He felt hot and dizzy and the wound was beginning to get infected. And Wade busted his phone in the skirmish he got into, so he couldn't communicate with anyone.

(And so he doesn't see the messages from Logan. Demanding where he was, if he was okay, apologizing for earlier and asking him to come back.)

He ends up drifting in and out of consciousness for days, barely on the edge of life. Peter is worried as hell and is trying his best to take care of him despite his tight budget. Neither could go to a hospital because of their mutant status and illegal activities.

Wade is barely conscious enough to talk, let alone tell him his emergency contacts.

And so the days pass until a week has gone by and Logan hasn't heard a word from Wade. And he's freaking the fuck out. Because even if Wade was pissed, he still came back a few hours later so they could talk it out. They never dealt well with separation, especially Logan.

He's been cornering every vaguely shady person on the streets to see if they knew where Wade was. He'd torn up villain bases near their area. Had even fucking considered putting up missing posters because of how desperate he was.

Until he finally gets a lead.

And so, when Peter hears knocking at his door, he goes to answer.

Only to get pinned against the wall by Logan, claws threatening to puncture his neck. A snarl on his lips and a feral look in his eyes, bloodthirsty and on the verge of snapping.

And Peter tries to stutter out words but it's hard when his windpipe is being crushed. This was completely unexpected.

He didn't do anything to piss someone off that badly, right? And how did someone trace his Spiderman identity back to Peter Parker when he'd been so careful?

More importantly—

A shuffling sound came from the couch in the living room.

Wade. Wade was still here.

Peter renewed his struggle, a fierce glare in his eyes. Even if nobody would miss him, he'd make sure nobody could harm his only friend.

"What time is it?" Wade mumbled roughly, sitting up and stretching his sore muscles. He still felt feverish and had a sore throat, but at least he wasn't on Death's Door anymore.

Logan's head snapped in Wade's direction like a bloodhound following a trail. He'd clearly heard him.

Without warning, he threw Peter to the side, who clutched at his throat as he was slammed against the wall.

He was going for Wade. Shit.

He knew Wade had enemies, considering he was a mercenary, but he didn't realize the type of ballpark he was playing in. And Peter knew Wade's healing factor was infinitely stronger than his own... except it wasn't working.

Was he the one responsible for Wade's vulnerable state? Did this man weaken him on purpose so he could take him out?

Peter stumbled to his feet, muscles tensing as he darted out to stop Logan, who seemed hellbent on approaching Wade. But Logan turned the corner just before he could reach him.

He saw Logan register Wade's presence, eyes locking onto him with a single-minded, piercing focus that was blinding in its intensity.

"Hey!" he tried calling out, but Logan wasn't paying attention. Didn't seem to be aware of his surroundings, only looking at Wade with an indescribable mixture of emotions. There were the obvious emotions like anger, but if Peter didn't know any better he'd say the man was looking at Wade with something akin to pure relief, awe, and fear.

Wade glanced over at the man and his eyes widened. "Logan...? Honey badger, you came for me?" His voice was sleep-heavy and the words came out choked.

Wade had been calling the name 'Logan' in his sleep almost every night. When Peter would try to quiet him by brushing his sweat-stuck hair away from his forehead, Wade would latch onto his wrist and wouldn't let go until he cracked open his eyes and saw it wasn't who he wanted.

Peter wanted to ask who Logan was. Who was so important to him that he kept whispering his name when he tossed and turned at night, that he mistook Peter for him and looked disappointed when he realized it was just him (and ouch, sometimes that stung).

But he'd assumed it was someone from Wade's past. Like MJ was to him. Someone important but long gone.

And so when Wade called this man Logan, Peter thought it was him mistaking someone for Logan in a sickness-induced delirium. It wouldn't be the first time.

But Logan stared at him, fists still clenched where his claws protruded through his knuckles. He looked at Wade, searchingly, like his face had the answers to his questions.

And once Wade uttered that name, he launched himself at Wade.

Peter cried out as he tried to catch Logan to stop him from hurting or killing Wade, but he was so much faster than him. He'd crossed the room in the blink of an eye.

Peter looked up, terrified, to see a completely unexpected sight.

The man was clinging to Wade, clutching at him like his life depended on it, shivers wracking his body. And Wade clung to him tighter, threading his fingers through his hair, murmuring softly.

...Huh?

[fandoms-x-reader]

Unspoken Love

Requested By: @herdrops

Oneshot

Summary: Unable to confess their love out loud, MC does so through small acts of service and gifts. After realizing what they're doing, Satan returns the favor. Satan x Shy! Reader Word Count: 1,866

Words and phrases were Satan’s forte. Though, it would be silly to expect anything less considering the amount of time he spent reading.

When he first picked up a book, it was to gain respect. He couldn’t accept the fact that he was born from Lucifer because he was afraid no one would treat him as an individual.

He wanted to gain as much knowledge as possible to prove those people wrong. To show them how much of an independent and intellectual person he was.

But he soon grew a fascination with reading. He found that it wasn’t just a well of knowledge but it was something that entertained him. It could take him to faraway lands or teach him about feelings that he hadn’t experienced yet.

He knew anger. He knew sadness. He knew fear. But there was one emotion didn’t know - love. He was obsessed with reading about it.

Not the kind of love that he was told was shared between him and his brothers. But the kind of love where you want to share your life with someone. The kind of love that makes your heart skip a beat whenever the person walks into the room. The kind of love that makes you smile whenever you see them.

He read countless romance books, eager to know everything about it so that he knew when he experienced it in real life. But, no matter how many books he read, he never felt that way. 

It wasn’t for lack of trying.

Satan had tried to make friends with others. And as one of the seven rulers, he had plenty of people approach him. But no one gave him that feeling that so many authors and poets wrote about.

That was until you walked into his life.

The first few times Satan talked to you, he believed there was something wrong with him.

His heart would race, he would feel hot, and his hands would sweat. He was sure that he was coming down with some sort of sickness. 

But, when it kept happening, he realized that those were symptoms of being around you specifically. So then, what about you made him feel ill?

And as that question ran through his mind, his thoughts went back to his romance books. Back to the way the characters felt in the presence of their beloved. He wasn’t feeling sick - he was feeling nervous. 

He was positive he was jumping to conclusions. That he was once again getting his hopes up. So desperate to know what love felt like that he was making things up. Creating ties where there weren’t any.

But he couldn’t deny the fact that every time he saw you smile, his heart swelled. Or the fact that whenever you talked to him, he would get an excited feeling in his stomach. Not to mention how excited he would get whenever the two of you had a moment alone.

Satan was a stickler for hard facts and those were all undeniable proof of what was happening. He was finally experiencing love for the first time in his life.

But love often went hand in hand with fear. Fear that you wouldn’t feel the same way. Fear of unrequited love. He had also read about that in his books, and it never ended well.

So, he didn’t have the confidence to approach you and simply tell you how he felt. He needed a plan first. He needed - wanted - you to fall for him back first.

He tried to mimic the things he learned in his novels. He did similar acts of service, attempted to recite some of their best lines, and even tried to give you lavish gifts that the love interests always seemed to like.

But his attempts didn’t go far. You always seemed to appreciate them. You would blush when he complimented you, be grateful when he did something for you, and thank him kindly whenever he got you a gift. But he still felt like he was no closer to getting you to love him.

He didn’t understand what he was doing wrong. It worked in his books every single time.

He had to take more time to analyze the situation. There had to have been something he was missing.

He observed every detail written on the pages when it finally clicked. In all of his planning, he didn’t take into account that you might not like the same things they liked.

He assumed you were like them instead of your own person. A mistake he scolded himself for because he knew how wrathful he could become when someone did the same to him with Lucifer.

These characters liked grand gestures because they were so bold and forward with their emotions. But you were more soft-spoken and shy. It was something he loved about you.

Love interests in his book tended to be fearless in their acts of love. Their confessions would be over the top and flashy. They proclaimed their love in extravagant ways, always making a huge deal out of it.

Satan assumed that was how all love was supposed to be. How was he to know otherwise?

But the more he sat by himself in his room and thought, the more he comprehended that you had been returning his love this entire time. Just, in a different way. In your perfectly unique way.

It was a moment of revelation as a montage of his past moments with you played in his mind.

Satan had come to the library one day, desperately needing to escape from the outside world for a bit. He found you there waiting for him already.

You immediately smiled upon seeing him, and he couldn’t help but do the same, genuinely happy just to see you.

The kind of love that makes you smile whenever you see them.

You had laid out Satan’s favorite books on the table, paying attention to which ones he liked to reread when he was feeling particularly worn out. He looked down at the table and noticed the one he wanted sitting on top of the pile as if you had read his mind.

He knew that you weren’t always the most talkative, so he sat down next to you silently. Giving you a small smile as he did before turning his attention to his book.

He hadn’t been reading for too long when he felt a pair of eyes on him. He looked up and his breathing faltered as he saw you staring at him. You immediately blushed at being caught and quickly turned your attention back to your book. 

*

About a week after that incident, Satan asked you if you would want to meet up with him to study for a bit. He wanted to spend some time alone with you, but he wasn’t sure how to ask you without coming off too forward. 

He anxiously awaited your arrival, sitting alone at a table inside a nearby cafe. He figured a public place would make you feel more comfortable. But as the time ticked on, he was getting worried you had stood him up.

That’s when he saw you approaching him, a gentle smile on your lips as you walked over to him. His heart skipped a beat as you got closer and closer to him.

The kind of love that makes your heart skip a beat whenever the person walks into the room. 

“I’m sorry I’m late!” you apologized, setting your things down. Satan was about to tell you it was okay when you continued to explain, “The bookstore was having a sale and I thought you would want some!”

Satan was surprised by your words but was even more so when his eyes trailed to your hand to see you holding out multiple cat-themed bookmarks. 

“I know how much you like cats,” you added quietly, avoiding his gaze as a light pink dusted your cheeks. 

Satan graciously took the bookmarks from you, telling you how much he appreciated the gesture. He would make sure to treat them like his most prized possession. They came from you, after all.

There were multiple times when you had surprised Satan with a gift or act that no one else would have thought twice about. And although he didn’t put too much thought into it at first, he realized now what it meant.

You had to have been quietly observing him from afar to know what he liked. He had been doing the same as well. He had noted what you liked to drink, what you liked to eat, what your favorite color was.

He could write an entire book about all of the things he’d come to learn about you. And eventually, he did have to write it down, scared to forget something. 

And he had never been so thankful for his detailed personality. If this was your love language, he was more than happy to speak it with you. He would show you his affection in any way that you wanted.

Satan started doing small things in return for all the ones you had done for him. 

He would wait for you outside of your classroom with your favorite drink in his hand. He immediately smiled when he saw you and he offered you the drink.

The blush on your cheeks as you accepted it only made his feelings for you grow stronger. He wondered if you knew how adorable you always looked.

Every glance from you that he noticed, he would return with twice as much love in his eyes.

Every smile you gave him, he would respond with one that was as equally bright and somewhat unfitting for the Avatar of Wrath.

If he ever heard you talking to someone or himself about a book you wanted to read, he would make sure that he got it for you the next day. He would present it to you in the library and ask if you wanted to read it with him. 

He never wanted anything in return for his gifts except for maybe a chance to spend some alone time with you. 

Sitting in solitude with you was his favorite part of any day. He loved reading with you, the library quiet except for when the two of you would talk to each other.

He watched as you energetically explained a scene in the book that you were reading and your voice sounded melodious whenever you laughed at something he said.

Eventually, reading in the library wasn’t as enjoyable if you weren’t there with him. As if a part of him was missing. He wanted to spend every moment with you. To share every line from his books with you.

The kind of love where you want to share your life with someone.

Satan was sure of it now. He had finally found the kind of love that he had been searching so relentlessly for. And it didn’t matter if you never said the three words to him that he knew you felt.

He would spend all of eternity showing his love through small acts if that’s what you wanted. As long as you knew what they truly meant.

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.