#when they come back they better be ready to WORK

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TOXIC BABY DADDY TERRY x BLACK FEM READER

Photo: @partiallyfuctional7

*Remember you are in charge of your own consumption. 18+ up audiences only; minors please don’t interact!*

WARNINGS / TRIGGERS: Reader has feelings of insecurities; Terry is a big, sexy, toxic, idiot here. 

PAIRING: Terry x Ava (reader)

SUMMARY: Tension develops between you and your baby’s father when he discovers you might be moving on. Terry’s unhinged ass is going to do whatever he can to get her back.

TROPES:  Second chance romance; MDOM or dominant themes

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I’m so excited to share this one with you guys! I’ve wanted to write toxic Terry for forever, but I was just nervous. I really liked writing this one. Maybe it’s the toxicity in me lol. Please tell me what you guys think, but be nice please. Babygirl is sensitive

“TJ get your cleats! Your father’s almost here!,” I shouted up the stairs. I hear the tell-tale thumps of his little feet as he rushes to put everything in his duffle bag. Wandering into the living room, I tighten up the area a bit. Straightening out couch cushions, the coffee table, you get the gist. Looking at the clock, I notice it’s almost two o’clock.

“TJ! Two minute warning!” I exclaim. Within seconds I hear the thunderous steps only a child can make. Then my little boy rounds the corner, a giant beam on his face. 

“Did it Mommy!”, he said proudly handing his soccer bag to me so I could double check everything. Rifling through the items I notice his epipen isn’t in there. Before I can ask my little man where it is, I hear the familiar chime from the ‘ring’ app on my phone. Grabbing it from the charger, I see my son’s father through the pixelated lens. I take a calming breath before walking to the door. 

“Hey baby girl, TJ ready?” Terry asked, smiling down at me. It’s truly unfair how fine this man is. Standing at his full height on our porch in a navy blue tee and olive cargo pants with asics. He could make a trash bag look good. I ignore the flutter in my belly at his smile and step aside to let him in. 

“He’s just about ready, but I can’t find his epipen. Can you come in while I run upstairs really quick?” I ask moving back so Terry can cross the threshold. He steps in like he owns the place (well technically he does).

“We gotta get going soon, I’m taking TJ to ‘Winter Wonderland’ after practice,”  Terry said, sweeping his eyes over the living room. 

I nodded, “Well I’ll find it and meet you guys there or at practice. Thanks for taking him,” I say, trying to be civil. 

“Just to let you know, Brandy’s going to be there,” Terry said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

I feel my back molars grind, “That’s fine.” I can’t fucking stand Brandy. She’s Terry’s new situationship and we didn’t get off on the best foot. That sour taste has never really left my mouth when it comes to her. Why Terry’s bringing her around our son, I’ll never understand.

“I trust you’ll keep it civil,” Terry says, looking down his nose at me. I roll my eyes and head toward the stairs completely ignoring him. Who the fuck does he think he is telling me to behave? She better fucking behave, I’m liable to beat a bitch. When I reach the bottom of the stairs Terry grabs my hand, spinning me to face him.

“Ava, I’m serious, keep it cool,” Terry’s voice had a slight edge to it which I didn’t appreciate.

“Listen, as long as she plays nice I’ll play nice. Matter of fact I’ll pretend she’s not even there. That work for you Terry?” I asked in a sickeningly sweet voice. I never wanted us to end up in this tumultuous cycle, but it wasn’t my decision. Terry broke up with me, said he didn’t want to be tied down. Vowing to be a good father he gets Terrence Junior (TJ) every other week. He’s the best dad and I won’t take that away from him, I just thought we’d be a family. I was holding out hope for a year hoping he'd change his mind and we’d get back together. 

Ultimately, I shattered my own heart, scrolling on facebook. I saw that he’d been tagged  in a photo hugged up on another woman. I stopped hoping after that. I stopped trying to get a man to see that I was enough, stopped trying to get him to stay when he so clearly was happy elsewhere. 

“Terry, the last thing I want to do is fight with you right now, yes I’ll be nice. Please just take TJ and leave, he'll be late for practice,” I say on the verge of tears. 

Terry’s eyes soften as he takes a step toward me, “Bunny…”, he starts. I hold my hand up stopping him and shake my head. I can hear our son make his way towards us obviously hearing his father’s voice as he barrels toward him. 

“Daddy! Daddy!,” TJ yells, launching himself into his arms.

“There my little striker! C’mere man,” Terry’s face blooms into a megawatt smile as he reaches for our son. He picks him up and blows a raspberry on TJ’s cheeks, causing him to burst into giggles. A small smile forms on my lips as a warm feeling spreads in my chest. Moments like these made me wish that we could be a little family again. But I can’t think like that anymore, Terry made his choice. He wants to be in the streets, that’s where he can stay. 

“You ready to go little man? I’ve got a surprise for you after practice,” Terry said, putting TJ down. Spotting the epipen on the kitchen island, I grab it, and pass it to Terry

“Well I’m going upstairs to shower and change, and I’ll meet you guys there,” I say, turning toward the stairs.

“TJ, go hug your mama before we leave,” Terry says looking at me.  TJ comes barreling towards me, goofy smile and arms outstretched. A warm smile blooms on my face as I hug my gentle little man.

“Hey, mama loves you, be good and listen to your dad ok?” I ask straightening his backpack. 

“I always listen mama,” TJ giggles, with a playful roll of his eyes. Terry grabs his son’s hand and with a half- assed ‘see ya later’ from Terry, they’re both out the door. I grab my airpods and head upstairs. Needing the comfort of a dominant mafia boss, my current audible obsession to ease some of the tension I feel creeping up my neck. Pressing play on my audiobook I begin getting ready. After the grueling arm workout of trying to tame my curls, I place it in a slick back bun with a few face framing curls to enhance my beauty (ref). Then I put on some light makeup and a simple outfit for this bipolar Georgia winter weather (ref). Grabbing my purse and keys, I head outside to my bronco, mentally preparing myself for the next few hours. 

When I pull up to the soccer field, I see that practice is in full swing. I immediately spot Terry standing off to the side with all the other parents. Why does he have to look so fucking good just standing on the sidelines. Brandy’s standing next to him ear pressed against her phone, what a shocker. Getting out, I pop my trunk to grab my lawn chair.

“Ava! Let me!,” I turn to see Lance, another one of the dad’s lightly jogging toward me. A small smile forms on my lips. Lance is fine don’t get me wrong, he just gets around the bookclub if you know what I’m saying. Hmm, maybe my bookshelf could use a good dusting off. I think it’s about time I had a little fun. I haven’t been with anyone since Terry, that needs to change. 

“Aww, that’s nice of you. Thank you Lance,” I say in a sickeningly sweet voice. Lance grabs my lawn chair out of the trunk and we head toward the soccer field. 

“I assumed you weren’t coming, since Terry brought TJ,” Lance said.

“Oh, so you checking for me now?”, I say, smirking at him. 

A small blush forms on the apples of his cheeks, “I look forward to seeing you at practices, sue me.”

A small giggle burst from my lips, “I’m just picking Lance.” He grins at me as we finally make it to the sidelines where the other parents are. My eyes find Terry to see him mugging Lance down. Lance isn’t paying him any attention as he sets up my lawn chair for me. 

“A throne fit for a queen,” Lance says, gesturing toward the chair. 

“Thank you Lance,” I say with a small smile before taking a seat. Okay so far so good, I just hope I can get through the rest of this evening unscathed.

TERRY

Since when did Ava and Lance become cool? That motherfucker has been sniffing behind her for over a year now. I subtly inch closer to the two, trying to listen in on their conversation without being detected. I hear him ask her what she had planned later. A pit forms in the bottom of my stomach dropping anchor and forming an uncomfortable weight there. I recognize the feeling in an instant, jealousy. Fuck. 

“Oh, Terry and his girlfriend are taking TJ to ‘Winter Wonderland’ downtown. I’m probably just going to tagalong with them so I can get pictures of TJ,” Ava says. Girlfriend? She thought Brandy was my girlfriend? Fuck no, I’m just having fun with her. I just didn’t want TJ to see the two of them arguing since they obviously didn’t like each other.

“Do you mind if Max (Lance’s son) and I join you? And maybe after I treat you and TJ to dinner?,”Lance said, smirking at Ava. My fucking Ava, and she’s smiling back?! Fuck nah, I ain’t about to have that. I take a step to interrupt their conversation when a hand on my shoulder grabs my attention. 

“Sorry boo, but I have to go. Family emergency,” Brandy said, before laying a kiss on my cheek and then she left so fast I would’ve thought her ass evaporated. I locked back in on Ava and Lance seeming to be in just a friendly conversation but I couldn’t shake the fact that Ava was entertaining him. As long as I’ve known her she’s only ever wanted me. So, to see her chatting it up with another man is really rubbing me the wrong way. 

She jumps up out of her chair, jumping up and down cheering for TJ. I damn near go cross-eyed trying to keep an eye on TJ and the jiggle of her ass when she jumps. Don’t get me wrong, I love Ava, she gave me my son, and she’s a fantastic mother, friend, and support system. I don’t know why seeing her potentially move on is fucking with me so bad. I pull out my phone and text my younger sister Trinity, I need advice ASAP.

ME: Trin I need your help. Fast

TRIN: Damn, no hi lol. What’s up Terry?

ME: It’s Ava, she’s going on a date tonight I think.

TRIN: Ok…what’s the problem?

ME: I don’t want her to.

TRIN: Aren’t you actively fucking that brittney chick??????

ME: ..yeah

TRIN: Ok so let me get this straight. Ava has to sit back while you fuck through all of Savannah, but the minute she gets a little bit of attention, you can’t deal?

ME: Well, when you put it like that..

TRIN:  I love you bro, but you’re a fucking idiot.

AVA

“We’d love to have dinner with you and Max tonight” you say, smiling at Lance. He smirks down at me, “I can’t believe that worked.”

Your brows furrowed, “What do you mean?” you asked.

“I’ve been trying to get you to look my way for months, what changed?” Lance asked, leaning in. ‘I’m trying to get over my baby’s father’ , you thought. But you can’t just say that out loud so instead you just smile and say, “I thought it was time I put you out of your misery.”

Lance laughs and says, “Well thank you for that pretty lady.”

A throat clears behind you and you glance over your shoulder to see Terry standing there.

“Can I talk to you real quick?”, he looks with anxious eyes darting back and forth between you and Lance. 

You glance back toward Lance, “I’ll be right back” you say, getting up from my chair. You follow Terry a few feet away to the edge of the field, but still able to keep an eye on TJ.

“What’s up?” you say, raising a brow.

“We need to talk, Bunny,” Terry said, wringing his hands. What’s going on? This nigga is never nervous. You raise both eyebrows this time, indicating that he can continue.

“What’s going on with you and Lance?” he asked, crossing his arms. Your eyes widen in disbelief, there’s no way his ass is questioning you about who you’re seeing.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” you reply, crossing my arms. 

Terry scoffs and rolls his eyes, “It’s my business if his ass is going to be around my son.”

You could feel the attitude crawling up your spine gripping your throat in a vice grip. “So you can prance all the bitches you want around our son? But when his friend’s dad; someone he’s familiar with, is around more often all of sudden it’s an issue?” you roll your eyes, Terry is really starting to piss you off. Just when you decide it’s time to try and move on he comes back with this.

“Terry what is this really about? You know Lance, you should be happy for me” you say pleading with him. His eyes soften, and he shuts them giving his head a rough shake.

“Happy? You can do way better than Lance!” he whispers.

A sarcastic laugh leaves your lips, “Mind your business Terry. I stay out of your love life, you stay out of mine.” you turn to leave but Terry reaches out and grabs your wrist.

“C’mon Bunny, you know I didn’t mean it like that. All I’m trying to say is he better kiss the ground you walk on, anything less is an insult.” 

You roll my eyes yet again, a small smile on my lips, “You’ll get him right if he doesn’t?” you ask with a subtle pop of my hip.

A smirk grows on his lips, “Bunny, you know how I’m coming behind you,” Terry said, crossing his arms. 

You shake your head to slow the smile from forming, “It’s nothing serious between Lance and I. I just need a little fun right now.”

“You know, we used to have fun,” Terry said, taking a step toward you. You could see it in his eyes. The way he was looking at you, he’s going to bend you over the first surface he can get his hands on. 

You reach your hand out, slowing his advancement toward you. “No, Terry. Don’t do this here.”

His smirk widens, taking in your panicked yet aroused features. You still wanted him , that he could see. “Don’t you miss me Bunny? We were good together. I could always tell what you needed before you knew yourself and vice versa.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion, “Where is all this coming from? Less than two hours ago, you were telling me I needed to be nice to Brandy and now you wanna reminisce? We’ll talk about this later, I’m not doing this right now.” 

You couldn’t believe Terry!  ‘We used to have fun’, he thinks he can just walk in here all gorgeous and muscled and you’ll just roll over? Well you will but you want to make him work for it at least. You spin, prepared to return to your seat when Terry grabs your wrist. 

“Don’t go out with him tonight, Bunny. Let me treat you and our son to dinner instead, and I can explain everything.”

“What if I don’t want to hear your explanations Terry? I’ve waited and waited for you to finally come to the realization that we should be together. Now that I have the potential to find something with someone new, you can’t handle it. How do you think I felt watching you parade girl after girl in front of my face? If you’re serious about me, you and TJ becoming a family again, you’re going to have to prove it to us. The back and forth shit isn’t going to work, and TJ deserves stability,” crossing my arms, I finish my rant and turn to head back to my chair. 

TERRY

Fuck, I need to get my family back 

Okay, so I wanted to make this a little short and to the point So I can set you guys up for the next part. Let me know if Terry is toxic enough for y’all or should I crank it up a little. I wasn’t expecting to turn this into a series but I think I just might *winks* As always let me know what you guys think, if we’re feeling this or not. Happy new year beautiful people! Sending you all love I hope this year is better than your last and you get everything you want!

Happy New Year! Until next time

TEE <3

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[iris-qt]

𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕

ᴘᴛ. ɪɪɪ ᴛᴏ ꜱɴᴏᴡᴇᴅ ɪɴ

❆ ᴀᴄᴀᴅᴇᴍɪᴄ ʀɪᴠᴀʟꜱ | 4.1ᴋ

❆ ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇᴄᴏʀᴀᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴜʟᴇ ʙᴀʟʟ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ʀᴇꜱᴜʟᴛꜱ ɪɴ ᴇɴᴅʟᴇꜱꜱ ʙɪᴄᴋᴇʀɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʟᴀꜱʜɪɴɢ ɪᴅᴇᴀꜱ. ᴡɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴜʟʟ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀꜱᴋ…?

Since the pub fiasco, things between you and Theodore Nott had been…complicated…to say the least.

Your rivalry hadn’t disappeared, but it had shifted. The biting insults were still there, but now they came with the faintest of smirks, like private jokes only you two understood. Your exchanges were just as sharp, but they lacked the venom they once carried.

Neither of you would ever admit it, of course, but you’d started seeking each other out, whether it was in the library, where you pretended not to notice Theo sitting at the same long table…

Theo:"Don’t you have a dorm to clutter instead of my table?" You: "Don’t you have a personality to develop instead of bothering me?" Theo: "Rude. Effective. Fine, move over."

…or in the Great Hall, where Theo always seemed to have a cutting remark ready as you passed by.

Theo: "Careful, y/l/n, the food might taste better if you don’t glare at it." You: "Careful, Nott, your ego might shrink if you didn’t open your mouth so often." Theo: "Impossible. Unlike your appetite for misery, my ego is perfectly proportioned."

It was a delicate balance. Too much truce, and it felt…strange. Too much animosity, and you risked losing whatever unspoken rhythm you’d found.

Your friends noticed, naturally. Pansy teased relentlessly, Mattheo made dramatic proclamations about the “thin line between love and hate,” and Blaise mostly looked amused. 

You and Theo ignored them.

Whatever this was, you two weren’t about to let anyone else define it.

It wasn’t peace. It wasn’t war. It was something in between, and for now, that was enough…

…

Theo Nott stood in the Head of Houses' make-shift office room, glaring at the 6 of the other Heads of Houses like they were the most disappointing bunch of students he’d ever had the misfortune of sharing a room with.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered under his breath, pacing back and forth. “We’re less than a month away from the Yule Ball, and this is all we’ve got?”

Edward, one of the Heads of Gryffindor, was twirling his wand, clearly uninterested in the task at hand. “Relax, Theo. It’ll come together. I’m sure we can throw a decent party.”

Theo stopped in his tracks, pursing his lips. “A decent party? That’s what you’re going for? This isn’t a birthday bash in the common room, Edward. It’s a ball.”

“Right, right,” Edward mumbled, his attention already drifting to something shiny on the edge of the table.

Lydia, one of the Heads of Hufflepuff, was flipping through a magazine that looked suspiciously like Witch Weekly, completely uninterested in the task at hand. “Well, I’m sure you two will figure it out. I’ve got some…uh…research to do for Herbology. Very important stuff.”

Theo’s eye twitched. “Research? For Herbology? Now? You’ve got one job, Lydia!”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” she said, waving a hand dismissively.

Theo’s frustration was mounting. “Oh, I’m sure it will be. Because leaving me and y/n to deal with the entire thing will definitely end up fine”

Lydia just smiled and shrugged. “You two are the most organized, Theo. I’m sure it’ll go swimmingly.”

At that, he turned sharply back to Edward, who was now slouched in his chair, fiddling with his quill like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

“Edward! Please tell me you’re at least doing something useful,” Theo growled.

“Just making some notes for next week’s lesson,” Edward mumbled, not bothering to look up.

Theodore was this close to throwing something at him when you walked in, your usual confidence filling the room as you dropped a stack of parchment onto the table.

“Am I the only one who actually wants this thing to work?” you asked, voice sharp but not unkind. “Because judging by the looks on your faces, I might as well be planning it alone.”

Theo leaned against the desk, a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. “Oh, no. You’re not planning it alone, y/n. You’ll have me to deal with, for better or worse.”

You gave him an unimpressed look. “Well, that’s reassuring.”

Theo’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “I’ve got a vision. We just need to work out the details. It’ll be a modern look. Something with a bit of edge. None of this…” he looks through the collages you had made for inspiration…“fairy tale bullshit.”

“Modern?” your tone was dripping with sarcasm. “Are we going to turn the Great Hall into a night club or something?”

“Maybe. At least it’ll be memorable,” Theo said with a shrug.

“I’ll take the fairy tale idea, thanks,” you shot back, folding her arms. “It’s elegant. Classic..”

Theo chuckled. “Ah, yes. You’re all about the classic look. No surprises, no creativity. Just the same old thing.”

“Well, someone has to make sure it doesn’t look like a disaster,” you retorted. “Not all of us are trying to turn it into the next underground club.”

Theo grinned, leaning back with a dramatic flourish. “I’m not trying to turn it into a nightclub, y/n. I’m simply bringing a little style to the event. Besides, who doesn’t want flashing lights and a VIP section?”

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “Right, because nothing screams ‘classy Yule Ball’ like strobe lights and velvet ropes.”

Theo smirked, clearly enjoying your response. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll make sure you’re on the VIP guest list. Wouldn’t want you to miss your chance at the exclusive after-party.”

You roll your eyes but can’t suppress the smallest smile. “I’ll stick to a fairy-tale theme, thanks. Less bling and more charm.”

Their banter hung in the air, and for a moment, it was clear that the other Heads (Edward, Lydia, and the rest) were more than happy to quietly exit and leave the two of them to it.

And so, it was settled.

The Yule Ball would be left in the hands of You and Theodore Nott.

Great. Just great.

…

Theo Nott stood at the entrance to the Great Hall, arms crossed as he surveyed the chaos in front of him. There were enough tinsel, garlands, and fairy lights, but somehow it still felt like the Great Hall was more mess than festive.

“I swear, y/n,” he muttered under his breath, “if I have to fix one more of these ridiculous tablecloths, I’m going to set fire to them.”

You, standing on a ladder above him, glanced down with a raised eyebrow. “A fire, Nott? Really? I’m pretty sure the only thing that would accomplish is a trip to the hospital wing for third-degree burns.”

Theo shot you a glare. “I’m just saying. We’ve been here for hours, and none of this is coming together. Maybe it’s time to ditch the glitter and go with something a little... less tacky.”

You hopped off the ladder with a huff. “Tacky? You’re the one who wants to hang neon lights around the room.”

Theo threw his hands up in mock frustration. “Neon lights are a statement! They’re dramatic! They create atmosphere.”

“Right,” you said, “because nothing says winter wonderland like flashing rainbow lights.”

He paused, trying to stifle a grin. “Well, maybe not rainbow. But I could make a case for a few subtle hues. There’s something elegant about a deep blue.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help but laugh. “Sure, as long as it doesn’t look like we’re hosting a rave. Why don’t we just use past ideas at this point and let this Ball be about, I don’t know, tradition?”

Theo shot you a pointed look. “Tradition is for people who don’t like fun.”

“And fun is for people who think stringing up tinsel like a toddler on a sugar high is a good idea,” you quipped, hands on your hips.

Theo was about to respond when a roll of tinsel, which he had been attempting to place over one of the columns, suddenly fell and unraveled, covering him in glittery silver strands.

“Well, that’s just perfect,” Theo said dryly, his voice muffled as he tried to untangle himself.

You stifled a laugh, crossing the room toward him. “Well, if your goal is to look like a Christmas tree threw up on you, congratulations. You're succeeding.”

Theo shot you a look that could’ve melted the frost on the windows. “You know, I could always just start throwing glitter at you until you match the decor.”

You raised an eyebrow and sauntered over, leaning casually against the column beside him. “You couldn’t handle my level of shine, Nott. But honestly, at this rate, it might be easier to just call this a glitter disaster and be done with it.”

Theo finally pried the tinsel off his coat, brushing it off with a sigh. “You know, that’s not a bad idea. But if we’re going full disaster mode, I’m bringing out the neon lights, too.”

“Please,” you said, throwing your hands up. “That’s the real disaster.”

Theo smirked, rolling his eyes.

You looked around at the chaotic scene of hanging streamers, half-decorated tables, and lights that flickered like malfunctioning stars. “You know what? I think we’re doing better than I expected.”

Theo eyed you, his grin fading into something more sincere. “You’re kidding, right? This looks horrendous”

“Well,” you said, taking a step closer, “my standards for us were in hell. Now let’s see if we can turn this mess into something that doesn’t get us expelled for crimes against decor.”

Theo gave you a sidelong glance, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. “Deal. But I think we both know this nightclub is going to be a hit.”

Just then, the door creaked open. Mattheo, Pansy, Draco, and Blaise sauntered in, looking far too suspicious for people who were supposedly just dropping by.

“Oi, don’t mind us,” Mattheo called, flopping into one of the chairs with his feet up. “Just here to, you know, observe.”

Pansy raised an eyebrow, strolling in after him. “Yep. You two are doing such a brilliant job, I thought we’d pop by for moral support.”

You shot Theo a look, smirking. “Oh, it’s fine. You’re just in time to save us from this impending disaster. Any suggestions?”

Pansy leaned in conspiratorially, her voice dropping to a whisper. “How much do you think we can bet on Nott and y/l/n completely ruining this before the end of the week?”

Mattheo grinned, resting his chin in his hand. “Ooh, I’ll take that bet. I’m going for at least 48 hours of continuous arguing.”

Theo shot them a glare. “You’re both brilliant, aren’t you?”

Blaise, who had been quietly observing from the corner, added dryly, “Honestly, I’m just here to watch the fireworks. Should be fun.”

Draco, who had been standing in the doorway with his arms crossed, finally spoke up. “I’m here for the chaos.” He gave a sly smile. “Call me when things get really interesting.”

You crossed your arms, shooting Mattheo a playful look. “I don’t know, Nott. Maybe your friends are right. Maybe we’ll be the ones who ruin it all.”

Theo smirked. “Oh, don’t worry, y/l/n. If we ruin it, it’ll be in style.”

Pansy laughed. “Style? With these decorations? It looks like Santa’s workshop threw up everywhere.”

Theo flinched dramatically. “And that’s why I’m in charge of the good ideas. You’re welcome.”

You crossed your arms, looking around the chaos. “Let’s just hope we can make this place look like a Ball and not some last-minute student party, yeah?”

Theo shot a look at Mattheo, Blaise, and Pansy, who were busy whispering bets in the corner, then back at you. “Fine. But if this turns into a rave by the end of the night, don’t act surprised.”

…

The Great Hall shimmered in the late afternoon light, a nearly magical blend of your elegant winter wonderland and Theo’s sleek, modern touches. It was starting to come together. 

Finally. 

A delicate balance of snow-kissed charm and understated drama filled the room, making the hours of arguments almost worth it.

Almost.

You stepped back, examining one of your enchanted centerpieces: a fragile ice sculpture enchanted to glimmer faintly with the colors of the aurora. It was breathtaking, and you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of pride.

“Careful with that one,” you called over your shoulder as Theo strode by. “It’s... delicate.”

“I’m not an oaf, y/l/n,” Theo shot back, adjusting the lights around the tables. “You act like I’m about to smash-”

CRASH!

You spun around just in time to see one of your precious centerpieces toppled on the floor, the delicate ice shattered into glinting shards. Theo froze, his face a mix of guilt and disbelief as he stared down at the wreckage.

“Oh, for the love of…Theo!” your voice cracked, hands flying to your head.

“It was an accident!” Theo defended quickly, his tone panicked. “I didn’t see it there, I-”

“That took hours,” you cut him off, voice trembling. “I’ve been working on these all week, and you-”

Your words faltered as the stress of the past few days hit you all at once. Your throat tightened, and before you could stop herself, tears welled in your eyes.

Theo’s panic softened into concern the moment he noticed. “Hey,” he said quietly, stepping closer. “Don’t…don’t cry. It’s just a centerpiece. We can fix it.”

“You don’t get it!” your voice wavered, and you wiped at your face in frustration. “I’ve been killing myself trying to make this perfect. And now-”

“And now it’s just one centerpiece,” Theo interrupted gently. He hesitated, then placed his hands on your shoulders, forcing you to meet his eyes. “Y/N, look at me. Everything else in here looks incredible. You’ve made this incredible.”

Your breathing hitched, but Theo’s calm voice and steady gaze kept you grounded.

“I’m serious,” he added, his voice softer now. “You’ve worked harder on this than anyone, and it shows. If you ask me, this Ball wouldn’t even happen without you.”

You blinked at him, tears slowing. “You really think it’s not...a total disaster?”

Theo’s lips twitched into a faint smile. “Are you kidding? It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Your heart gave a traitorous flutter, and you quickly glanced away. “You’re just saying that because you broke my centerpiece.”

He chuckled softly, then, on impulse, pulled you into a quick hug. You stiffened for a moment before relaxing against him, the warmth of his embrace unexpectedly soothing.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured into your hair. “For the centerpiece and for...being a general pain the last few days.”

You pulled back slightly, looking up at him. “You have been a pain.”

Theo smirked, his usual confidence returning. “So have you.”

You both laughed, the tension easing for the first time in what felt like days.

“Alright,” you said, stepping back after Theo uses his cold thumbs to wipe away your tears. “We still have time to fix this. If we combine our ideas properly we can make it even better.”

Theo nodded, a spark of determination in his eyes. “Agreed. Truce?”

“Truce,” you said firmly, shaking his outstretched hand.

The two of you worked tirelessly for the next few hours, blending your enchantments with Theo’s dramatic flair. By the time the first guests began arriving, the Great Hall had been transformed into something truly spectacular: a shimmering dream of frost and light, elegant yet modern, with just the right amount of sparkle.

As you two stood in the now quiet Great Hall admiring your hard work, Theo caught your eye from across the room, a smug grin on his face as he leaned against a column.

“Told you we’d pull it off,” he said, his voice full of exaggerated confidence.

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “Yeah, but the night’s still young. Let’s see how long it takes before this place becomes a disaster.”

Theo shot you a playful wink. “If it does, I’ll take full credit. You’re welcome.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide the smile tugging at her lips. “My hero,” you said sarcastically, tone dripping with mock sincerity.

…

The Great Hall glittered like something out of a fairy tale. Chandeliers floated overhead, their soft glow casting an ethereal light across the room. The enchanted snow you had insisted on fell gently from above, disappearing before it touched the ground. Around the room, Theo’s sleek, understated accents of deep blue and silver added a layer of sophistication, perfectly complementing your enchanted centerpieces and frosted décor.

The crowd had just begun to gather, students marveling at the transformation. Theo stood near the entrance, surveying the scene. For once, he didn’t feel the urge to nitpick. It looked...perfect.

Still, he found his attention wandering, searching for someone.

And then, he saw you.

You entered the Hall, and for a moment, Theo forgot to breathe. 

Your dress was a masterpiece, flowing silver fabric that shimmered like starlight with every step you took. The intricate detailing at the bodice sparkled faintly, mimicking the enchanted snow falling above. Your hair was swept back elegantly, with just a few loose strands framing your face.

Theo swallowed, his usual composure faltering. Merlin, she’s gorgeous.

He tried to school his expression, but his traitorous thoughts kept running wild. How does she manage to look like that and still act like she doesn’t care?

You caught sight of him and smiled, a warm, genuine smile that made his chest feel strangely tight. Get it together, Nott, he told himself, straightening his posture.

As you approached, Theo managed to find his voice. “You, uh...clean up well, y/l/n.”

You laughed softly, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Thanks, Nott. You’re not so bad yourself.”

He glanced down at his sharp black dress robes with their subtle silver accents and gave a small shrug. “Well, I had to keep up, didn’t I?”

Before you could respond, your guys’ friends appeared, clearly ready to tease.

“Alright, what is this?” Pansy demanded, waving a hand between you two. “Are you two actually getting along?”

Mattheo smirked, looking between the pair. “I told you they’d pull it off. I didn’t think they’d look this cozy doing it, though.”

“Cozy?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow. “We’re just enjoying the Ball.”

“Sure you are,” Mattheo said, smirking. “Let us know when the wedding is.”

Theo rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help the small grin tugging at his lips. “Don’t you lot have something better to do than stand here pestering us?”

“We could,” Pansy said breezily, “but watching you two is way more entertaining.”

You shook your head, clearly fighting back a laugh. “Go enjoy the Ball, will you?”

Their friends finally dispersed, though Pansy and Mattheo exchanged smug looks as they walked away.

As the music shifted to a slower melody, Theo glanced at you. He hesitated, then held out a hand. “Care for a dance, y/l/n?”

You tilted your head, studying him with a small smile. “You’re serious?”

“Don’t look so surprised,” he said lightly, though his heart was hammering in his chest. “I can be charming when I want to be.”

“Alright, Nott,” you said, placing your hand in his. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

As they moved to the dance floor, Theo found himself relaxing, falling into the rhythm of the music. You were a natural, and for once, he wasn’t thinking about impressing anyone or winning an argument.

“You know,” you said softly, “this turned out better than I thought it would.”

Theo looked down at you, his expression softening. “Yeah. It did.”

Their eyes met, and for a brief moment, everything else faded. The teasing friends, the chaotic weeks leading up to this night, even the music.

“You’re not half bad at this, Nott,” you teased, breaking the silence.

Theo smirked. “Neither are you. But don’t get used to me saying that.”

…

The Afterparty

The Yule Ball afterparty was an entirely different kind of chaos. Gone were the elegant decorations and formal airs of the Great Hall; now, it was all laughter, music, and a ridiculous amount of contraband firewhisky smuggled in by Mattheo and Blaise.

Theo leaned back against a sofa in the corner of the Slytherin common room, a half-empty glass in his hand. His tie was long gone, and his usually immaculate hair was a little mussed. He looked relaxed, but his gaze kept flickering toward you, who was sitting cross-legged on the carpet a few feet away, mid-laugh at something Pansy had said.

“Oi, Nott,” Mattheo nudged him, smirking. “If you stare any harder, you’ll set her on fire.”

Theo rolled his eyes, taking another sip from his glass. “I’m not staring.”

“Sure you’re not,” Blaise chimed in, lounging beside Mattheo. “You’ve only looked her way, what, twenty times in the past minute?”

Theo ignored them, but his focus sharpened as you stood and made your way over. You looked relaxed (for once), your silver dress now slightly wrinkled, hair falling loose around your shoulders. Your bare feet padded softly on the carpet as you stopped in front of him.

“You hiding over here, Nott?” you asked, holding a drink of your own.

“Not hiding,” Theo said, his voice smooth despite the alcohol. “Just enjoying the view.”

You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head. “The view, huh? And what exactly are you looking at?”

Theo leaned forward slightly, his smirk lazily charming as he was under the effect of firewhiskey. “Take a guess.”

Your cheeks flushed faintly, but you weren't about to back down. “Careful, Theo. You’ve had enough to drink that your flirting might actually start to sound sincere.”

“Who says it isn’t?” he shot back, his gaze steady.

You laughed, sitting down next to him on the arm of his armchair. Theo reached out without thinking, his fingers brushing against your wrist to steady you as you leaned against the chair’s armrest. The touch lingered just a second too long, his thumb tracing a light circle before he let go.

“You’re trouble, you know that?” you said, voice softer now.

“So I’ve been told,” he replied, his grin widening. “But you don’t seem to mind.”

Before you could respond, Mattheo interjected, dropping onto the other armrest of Theo’s chair with an exaggerated groan. “Merlin, can you two just snog already and put us all out of our misery?”

Pansy, who had followed you over, raised her glass. “I second that. It’s exhausting watching you dance around each other.”

You rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed your amusement. “You’re all insufferable.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mattheo said, waving you off. “But we’re not wrong.”

“Go back to your firewhisky,” Theo muttered, shoving Mattheo off the armrest with more force than necessary.

As their friends dispersed again, you turned back to Theo, your expression softening. “You know, for someone who claims not to care about what people think, you’re surprisingly good at avoiding attention.”

Theo smirked, his voice quieter now. “I only care about the kind of attention that matters.”

You met his gaze, breath hitching slightly. “You’re really laying it on thick tonight, aren’t you?”

Theo’s smirk faded into something softer as he reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers lingered, warm against your cheek for a moment before he dropped his hand. “Maybe I am. But it’s the truth.”

For a moment, the noise of the party seemed to blur into the background, the laughter and music fading into something distant and unimportant. You tilted your head, smile soft and unreadable. “You’ve got a way of making things...complicated, Nott.”

Theo leaned in slightly, a teasing grin tugging at his lips. “Complicated suits us, don’t you think?”

You exhaled a quiet laugh, eyes meeting his. “It’s exhausting.”

“But you’re not walking away,” he said, his voice quieter now, almost thoughtful.

“Maybe I don’t want to,” you admitted, the drunken honesty in your tone catching you both off guard.

Theo’s smile softened, his fingers brushing against yours where they rested on the arm of the chair. He hesitated for a moment, then curled his hand around yours, his thumb grazing your knuckles in a way that felt both casual and deliberate.

“Well,” he murmured, his eyes fixed on yours, “for what it’s worth, I think we make complicated look pretty damn good.”

And as the night carried on, with laughter and light weaving through the air, they lounged together, two forces colliding yet somehow perfectly in sync, proving that even in the chaos, some things are meant to fall beautifully into place…for a drunken night at least…

Taglist: @lazycrazyme, @lovrsm, @minhlajenni, @rafeluvrr, @mgchaser, @r6yven

thank you so much for your comments it means the world to me!!

[millersfinest]

untethered² | e.w

00s!ellie williams & 00s!miller!reader

wc: 8.2 k

series: chapter one, chapter two (you’re here!)

blurb: it’s been awhile since you’ve been back home; in upstate new york where you’ve spent most of your life waking up early and tending to the animals that moo’d and meh’d. after graduation high school, and then college, the city life has stolen most of your attention. enabling you to visit only a handful of times through the years. when your lovely adoptive parents (tommy and maria miller) invite you back for a thanksgiving dinner—a troubled old flame from your childhood manages to get your attention, despite its explosive ending.

cw: lmao flip phones, r and ellie flirting/teasing each other, some vulgar language, ellie cheating on her gf, the millers, r is a writer, horndog ellie, elements of longing, ellie is #1 lesbian yearner in the world, some early 2000s references, thanksgiving, r is very jealous of cat, hella angst, rich!abby (one of r’s evil exes), emotional cheating (from ellie), repressed emotions, a little bit of mature content, eventual smut, some corny time period song drops.

note: okay, i tried to fit a lot of stuff into this but it was getting too long wink wink. i’ve introduced rich!abby, she’s literally a generational surgeon purr. when i was writing this i was listening to some early 00s music and burn from usher came on… that’s ellie’s anthem ya’ll (for cat) lmaooo. i may not post another chapter before the new year, soo happy early new years to my moots, readers and followers (pookies) <3

After spending an extra hour, or so, with Ellie in the kitchen—laughing under your hands, stuffing bread into your mouths; you set an alarm for 6am. The same time clock that sat on your bedside table from your youth. Surprisingly, it still worked—waking you up with that same traumatic sound it used to for school.

You efficiently got ready; as in, you put on hearty jeans, cowboy boots, and a throw-away sweater because you had an obligation to fill on the farm. Every time you came back home, it was habitual for you to resume the responsibilities you used to have when the farm was your primary residence.

Around 6:45, you met your parents downstairs to begin prepping and planning who was going to go where. There was usually only three of you, but as you hovered over the black coffee on the counter—in your favorite antique mug—the screen door pulled open to reveal a sleepy-looking Ellie Williams-Miller.

She had a thick, black headband pushing her hair back from her forehead, and a low bun. The whites of her eyes were a little irritated and low-hanging, like she was exhausted. “Mornin’, Ellie.” Tommy spoke, rasping slightly. You and Maria parroted him—you standing up straight, instead of leaning over the counter.

Ellie settled across from you, crossing her arms tightly over her chest as a comfort. She rarely ever knew where to put her hands. “Didn’t think you’d jump in so quick.” You commented, wrapping your hands around the warm coffee in your hands.

“The sooner the better.” She shrugged, a soft smile playing on her lips. “Is there any coffee left?”

Before your mother could leap to helping her out, you set down your mug. “‘Course there is. Hazelnut or Vanilla creamer?” You walk over to the pot, not forgetting to pull down a mug from the cabinet. It was offhanded, unintentional—but the ceramic mug you grabbed happened to be hers from the past. An off-white color with her initial on the front in maroon. Ellie used to come over so much, she had her own mug.

She was the first to notice, a blush blossoming on her freckled cheeks. “Hazelnut…”

Pouring the hot coffee a quarter of the way, you added the creamer and dropped a spoon inside to mix it. Ellie wasn’t the biggest fan of coffee, so it was more creamer than coffee. Behind you, your parents began explaining and refreshing the jobs they usually do in the morning. They plan to handle the cows, goats and shipments; while you and Ellie can handle the chickens, horses and garden. “Now, Bug, she’s gonna be taking over your job— so, instruct her well, please.”

“You got it, dude.” You curtly nodded, after making a cheesy Full House joke, sporting a thumbs up. The only person to chortle was Ellie, while her lips were still parted over the side of her mug.

Tommy and Maria put their hands in the middle, slapping on top of each other. “Lets break out—“

“Come on, dad, do we have to?” It was so natural for you to complain at his antics, calling him dad, that you didn’t realize who you were doing it in front of company until much later.

When you were a teenager, every morning your broke out like a team—because, basically, that’s what you were. Splitting to conquer more ground; it took teamwork. “Honey, we always break out.”

Ellie set her cup down, amused. “Don’t be such a negative Nancy, y/n.” She put her hand on top of theirs, raising her thick eyebrows. “Come on, break out.”

Rolling your eyes, you place your hand over her’s. “We’re the Miller’s on three.” You dragged, shaking your head. They all grinned around you like hyenas, and it amusingly pissed you off. One. Two. Three.

“We’re the Miller’s!” They exclaimed, along with yourself. Unable to remove the mirroring grin from your lips.

“All right, team. Let’s get to work.” Tommy asserted with a smile, drinking the rest of his coffee.

The four of you dispersed on the back porch. You scribbling on notebook paper to keep track of your duties. Ellie leaned her back against the railing, crossing her arms, with her eyes trained on your focused expression. “Okay… We’re starting off with the chicken’s— do you remember how?” You glance up, raising an eyebrow.

“Ehm,” She clears her throat, pushing off the railing. “Uhm, yeah, totally. We get the food, right? The pellets?”

“Yeah, and…” You put a hand on your hip, a teasing smirk on your lips.

She chews on her lip, averting her eyes. “Scoop it into troughs?” Ellie questioned, slowly, knowing she was incorrect. The young woman just wanted you to correct her.

“I’m afraid you’ve gotten yourself a bit mixed up, Els.” The nickname slipped from your lips sweetly, but unpredicted. You were both shocked and did a bad job of hiding it. Your lips opening and closing like a gaping fish; Ellie licking her lips, still rocking on her feet. But to be fair, you were friends before everything—it shouldn’t have been weird. “Sorry…”

“Why are you sorry? It’s my name…” Ellie shrugged.

“Let’s just get to the chicken coop.” You chuckle, hiding the nervousness by trotting off the porch. Her name was Ellie, not Els—people who were close to her called her that, and they weren’t close anymore. It was just an example of muscle memory, really.

Ellie tapped her hand against the wooden post, following in your footsteps. “Feels good to be back…” She mutters, walking with her hands behind her back.

“You’re always welcome here.” You respond, approaching the shed that held the chickens food and such. Your fingers worked at the metal latch, pushing open the door. It creaking loudly from the rusted hinges. “Help me fill the buckets?”

She nodded with tight lips, crouching down where you were in front of a large bag filled with their food. You dug for the scoop, frowning at the smell. Ellie had grabbed a bright orange bucket, placing it beside you. Her eyes watching you, intently. Taking in all of your movements while scooping the pellets into the bucket.

Feeling her eyes on you, it was easy to start conversation—transition from that pier of tension. “You looked pretty tired… I hope that wasn’t my fault.”

Ellie hummed, switching an empty bucket with the one you just filled, putting it to the side. “Oh, no, of course not. I had an idea for a sketch… So, stayed up and worked on that.”

You grinned, peering at her. “Hey, the farm’s already workin’, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” She chortled, averting her eyes.

Now, that was a clean cut lie. Ellie was a very smart girl—quick on her feet; she always has been. As she stood in that woody kitchen, munching on microwaved biscuits and giggling with her childhood ex-girlfriend… She had realized a fundamental truth. Or, more so, she was considering it. Perhaps, it wasn’t the farm she needed to sponsor her creativity.

It was you. In all of your self-made, manufactured glory. All it took was a glance for her to blossom with ideas—you were her muse.

That’s why she was up all night. She had propped herself on a stool, while her girlfriend slept, and began sketching where the both of you stood—by the shed. Ellie had drawn, scribbled, and shaded until the charcoal pencil fell from her fingers. Forcing her to rest, and by that time it was four in the morning.

Not without covering her work with a sheet, though. Your features were etched onto the canvas, that was too precious and vulnerable. Intimate. Telling.

Pulling her from her obsessive thoughts, you spoke. “Ellie, the bucket.” You bunched your eyebrows, with a tone insinuating that you’ve asked her more than once.

“Shit, my bad.” She stood up, picking one of them up by the metal handle. When she lifted it, she realized that she should consider weight lifting as a hobby—it was heavy. But, you held it in your hands as if it weighed no more than ten pounds. Ellie wasn’t right; the traits of a country girl never left you.

You began to walk out of the shed, toward the chicken coop, which was only a few steps away. “You know, I can let you off the hook if you wanna go take a nap, or something. We have, like, five more days for me to show you the ropes.”

“Really, it’s fine. You know I get a little spacey sometimes.”

“Yeah, when there’s a lot on your mind.” You pointed out, arriving at the coop. Opening the gate, you walk to another, slightly shorter gate to release the chickens. “Your breakfast has arrived!”

You set the bucket on the ground, Ellie doing the same, and you began to scoop out the pellets onto the dirt. They clucked and hopped around, pecking at the small pieces of food littered around. “Is there a lot on your mind?”

She hesitated to answer, dumping the rest of the pellets onto the ground. “Little bit…”

“Well, let this be a release from whatever you’re thinkin’ about. Not a distraction, but a release— it’ll keep you focused.”

Instead of pressing for what was on her mind, you responded with more thoughtful words. The fact that the both of you allowed your closeness to disintegrate or untether; you didn’t have much of a place to inquire. Asking too many questions could lead to fighting—if she were anything how she used to be. And you didn’t want to pry, even though a part of you assumed her exhaustion had something to do with Cat.

Ellie hummed once more, with her hands on her hips, watching you scratch their little heads. “Horses are next, right?” She questioned, blinking at you as if she were in a daze.

You chortle. “Yep. Excited to see Shimmer and Tokyo, huh?” A grin spread across your lips as you approached the gate. You paused, gasping, before you turned back to the auburn-haired woman. “Fuck, I have a surprise for you— almost forgot!” Rushing to grab her hand, you pull her out of the chicken coop. Keeping a firm grip on her palm; Ellie’s lightly holding yours as you pulled her toward the horse barn, glancing at her hand being embraced. It was a little ways so, despite the cool, morning air, sweat beaded between your palms.

But, since she was so enamored by your excited spirit, she held on.

When you arrived, that’s when you released her hand, unlocking the latch. Before your opened the door, you turned toward her faux lax expression. “Shimmer is, now, a mother…” You began, pushing open the door. Ellie gasped, grinning wide like a child before an arcade. “To a beautiful foal Tommy named Sarah.” You introduced coming up on their division.

“Holy shit,” She cursed, still grinning ear to ear. Her white teeth sparkling against the rays of the morning sun that peaked through the wooden panels in the barn. Shimmer peaked her head over the gate once she saw Ellie—like she never forgot about her. Nobody had. “Congrats, Shimmer.” She ran her hand along her strong jaw; the horse nuzzling into her touch.

Her olive eyes peered down, noticing the much smaller foal. Her coat was the same color as her mothers, but her hair had a blonder touch. “Can I?” She looked over at you.

“You don’t have to ask— she’s your horse, too.” You waved your hand. “I’ll go ahead and grab their food.” Leaving them alone, you hear Ellie marveling at Sarah. Causing a chuckle to leave your lips. You pet the other horses—Tokyo, Hamlet, and Ophelia—on the way to the other end of the barn.

Packing the buckets with differing pellets and chaffs, you filled their troughs and opened up their gates. Saving Shimmer and Sarah for last.

You walked over, leaning against the open gate. Sarah had nestled between Ellie’s crossed legs as she sat in the hay. Leaning into her gentle caresses. “I���m assuming she’s named after Joel’s daughter?” She asked, looking up at you from the ground.

“You assumed right.” You nodded, pressing your lips into a line.

“Does Joel know?”

“Not yet. It was a surprise for both of you.” You told, taking the liberty to join her on the ground. “I’m sure Tommy’ll say somethin’ by the end of the day.” Your fingers nestle through her course blonde hair. She was only about a week old, and the softness of her hair was already leaving. A sigh falls from your lips, glancing up at your old friend. Her eyes were already trained on your features, intently. Like she was trying to remember the intricacies of your face. “You think he’ll like it? Naming Shimmer’s baby after her?”

Ellie blinked, running her tongue over hr lips. “Uh, yeah— I think he’ll love it.” She chuckled, boyishly. The side of her lips curling up, as her eyes cast back toward the happy foal. “He’d probably want pictures of her everyday…”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind taking the pictures…”

“I sure as hell wouldn’t.” She affirmed. “If I didn’t, he’d blow up my cell.”

You laughed, backing up against the wall, leaning your head back as you peered at her. “He would wouldn’t he?”

A pair of footsteps caught your attention, and for a moment you thought it was your parents. You prepared to get up, but a new face came around the corner. Her brown eyes were sleepy, and she still was dressed in her pajamas. Hay clinging to the hem of her plaid pajama pants. “I was told that I’d find you here…” She spoke, mostly to the auburn-haired woman beside you.

“Mornin’,” You smiled, awkwardly. Standing up from where you sat. Cat smiled at you, but her eyes quickly moved back to Ellie.

“Ellie, can we talk?” She softly asked, fiddling with her fingers.

From the ground, she sighed, unmoving. “I’m kind of busy… Can it wait?” Ellie lifted her eyebrows, squinting at her girlfriend because of the sun’s rays. Her olive eyes practically glowing as the sun reflected through them.

“No. It can’t wait.”

“I can step out…” You offered, placing a hand on Shimmer. “She’s missing out on some grazing time, anyway.”

“No, it’s fine.” “Thanks,” Both Ellie and Cat spoke, causing you to pause in your steps. You bunched your eyebrows at Ellie, making an expression that read: talk to her! Ignoring the pleas of her beautiful features, you pulled Shimmer from her space. Leaving the two to talk.

It was always about saving face for you—you didn’t want to give the wrong impression to Cat. It was obvious that she knew about your past; you hoped that she did. Maybe, in a possessive way—in a way of I know her more than you. Or, in a way of context. That was something you were still trying to figure out.

Either way, your feelings for Ellie was private; something you were battling, as if it were a disease. Because it was wrong to hold onto a fragment of a memory—loving someone who was taken. It was childish. Letting them talk was putting a leash on yourself. There was nothing like some good ol’ fashioned self control.

While you contemplated, watching the horses meander around, getting their fresh air—conversation happened in the barn. Around the innocent, nuzzling foal, Sarah. “I just wanted to let you know… That I’m not mad at you.” Cat spoke, genuinely, leaning against the wooden gate. Her voice was firm and far from soft. “You know how I can get easily overwhelmed—“

“Cat, overwhelmed? You got pissed with me because I was asking her questions. That’s it.” Ellie retorted, narrowing her eyes. “I haven’t seen or spoken to her in fucking years. Do you expect me not to be interested in what she’s doing?”

“Okay, Ellie. My fucking bad!” She slapped her hands against her legs. “My bad for considering your history with each other— I’m being a jealous bitch. There. I said it for you.” Her arms crossed over her chest. “Can we just stop acting weird? I don’t wanna fight. Not here.”

Ellie allowed Sarah to stand, walking from her space to where her mother was. Around the corner, entertaining you, although your peeving ear was open to their conversation. Even though, you couldn’t hear much.

She stood up, dusting herself off. “I’d never call you a jealous bitch…” Ellie muttered, approaching her, settling her hands on her jaw. “You have nothing to worry about, kitty Cat.” She spoke like a wish, leaning into the place a chaste kiss on her lips. Cat had shut her eyes, not noticing the glance Ellie made out the open barn doors at you—the back of you. Just before her lips met hers. She tried to keep Ellie, moving her lips against hers, but she pulled away, swiftly. “I have to get back to work, all right. No hard feelings?”

She sighed, pouting. “None at all… See you later?” Cat wondered, letting her hands drift down to her belted hips.

“See you later.” She smiled, pulling away from her.

Cat left the barn, waving at you on her way out. “See you, y/n!” She waved, wiggling her fingers. Her voice was sweet, but for some reason you didn’t like how smooth your name came from her mouth. But, regardless, you smiled back.

Ellie emerged from the barn with her hands in her pockets. She stopped where you were, watching the horses—mainly Sarah. “How’d it go?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

“You remember Dina and Jesse, right?” She changed the subject.

You scrunched your eyebrows at the random question, peering over at her. “Uh, yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”

“They’re going to a bar later… The Tipsy Bison, If you wanna—“

“Oh, I don’t know.” You interrupt, shaking your head. Chewing on your bottom lip, keeping your eyes trained on the trotting horses. The moment the relationship between you and Ellie was severed; that severed whatever bond you had with them. Jesse tried to stay in contact passively—when MySpace came out, he friended you. However, Dina was nowhere to be found. She must’ve hated your guts, right?

“What? You don’t drink either?” She chuckled, covering her nervousness.

Pressing your lips together, you narrowed your eyes at her. “It’s been too long…” You shook your head. “I don’t know…”

“Come on,” She drawled, like a youthful plea.

“This is peer pressuring. Did we not learn about this is school?” Your feet carried you away from the horses, toward the garden. She followed after you with a sickening grin.

You pulled out your checklist, checking off the box by chickens and horses—clicking your pen with a smirk on your face. “Peer pressure… Shmeer Shressher.” Ellie rolled her eyes.

“Ellie, I don’t know. I might have something to write for my editor— let me think about it.” You made up an excuse on the spot, but it wouldn’t be a surprise if you opened up your email to see several messages from Isa Raymond.

“Don’t tell me you’re a workaholic, too?”

“I’m not.”

“Kind of seems like it.” Ellie shrugged.

You hit her arm with the back of your hand. “Whatever, Ellie. Think what you want.” The both of you arrive at the greenhouse. It smells of fresh soil and misty air—fairly comforting. When you were younger, it was the second best part of the farm for you. The horse barn being the first, of course. “This part is the simplest; just make sure all the veggies and plants are watered accordingly.”

You pick up a gallon half-full tin watering can, handing it to her. She took it from you with both hands, fingers grazing, lightly. “Oh, shit— I wasn’t paying attention with the horses. What do you feed ‘em?” Ellis began to stroll down the aisles, watering the soil.

“No worries, it seemed important.” You shrugged, mentioning the conversation between her and Cat. “I’ll just show you on the way back. It’s pretty simple— woah, not too much!” You place a hand on her wrist. She was pouring too much water into one of the potted plants. Her eyes locked onto yours, opened wide. “Sorry, I should’ve said this before… The potted plants need less water than the veggies.” She kept looking at you, the ends of her lips curling. “Carry on,” You urged, walking past her—in front of her, holding your own hands in front of you.

She couldn’t help but watch you go—hell, that’s all she’s been doing since she saw you. Watching. There was nothing wrong with that. Even if her eyes drifted to the way your hips were hugged in the jeans your wore. The sliver of skin that exposed when you bent down, or crouched, or even swayed your hips.

“So…” Ellie began, heading to your word and carefully watering. “Are you seeing anyone in Manhattan?” She asked, shamelessly with a perked eyebrow.

You pivoted, leaning your back against one of the aisles of vegetation. “Off and on…” Shrugging, you surprised yourself with how quickly you responded. “Dating in New York is like setting yourself on fire… And I don’t like getting burned.” You pursed your lips, flickering your eyes from her and the tomato’s. “Why? Is there someone you’d wanna set me up with—? I could use the help.” You joke, beginning to fiddle with the waxy leaves.

She snickered, approaching you with the tin watering can. Pouring nutrient liquid onto the carrot sprouts. “Dina, maybe?”

“Awe, you’re so funny.” You clap your hands together, sarcastically, leaning your chin on your hand.

“If you come out tonight, you can see just how funny I am.” She set the can down.

“I don’t have to go to a bar to see how funny you are. I’m laughing right now, aren’t I?” You mock a fake laugh, pointing at your mouth. Ha Ha. Ha Ha.

Wrapping your hands around the handle of the watering can, you pulled it from her to take over her job. “Just come, y/n! Wouldn’t it be nice to get the gang back together?”

A scoff fell from your lips. “It’s been a while since the gang was together, Ellie.” Occupying your attention with plants you watering. You fought to fight the frown attempting to grow on your lips, pressing them together and turning your body enough for her not to notice.

Ellie dragged her feet, following you. “It’s been eight years…”

Sighing, you slightly slam the can down, not enough to make a fuss but enough to signal your irritation. “Have you forgotten about what happened eight years ago?” You questioned, sternly.

She paused, inhaling, sharply. Ellie scratched her jaw, nodding her head. “Nope.” While she was taken aback by your sudden sternness; there was something that excited her about that pinched look on your face. The auburn-haired young woman has grown a lot since her youth.

“Okay, then.” You pouted. “Let’s just wrap this up, so we can reconvene with my parents— make sure all this stuff is done.”

And that’s exactly what the both of you did. The jokes and silly conversation ceased, and you basically finished in awkward silence. On the way back to the house, you showed her which foods to give to which horse, clinically. That playful look on your face was replaced with the one that exposed your unnerved feeling—from the horrifying mention of what happened eight years ago.

At the front porch, the pair of you separated. She waved a fiddly hand, peering over her shoulder as she walked back to the guesthouse. With a pair of shoulders that were slumped lower than they were from the morning.

Ellie didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable—she should’ve never pushed you to hang out with her later. Perhaps, she got too comfortable too fast; but that’s just the type of person you were. Easily acclimatizing. It didn’t matter how much space could be between you and another person—you always found a way with making them feel at home. However, when you pull back, it’s a cold feeling. She just wanted to look at you some more, talk to you some more; be around you some more. Ellie couldn’t deny how refreshing it was.

You met with your parents assuring them that everything was done. They asked about Ellie, but you said she took all the information fine. She’ll probably just need a few days to really lock it in—but, you couldn’t stay long to chat. It was about nine in the morning, and you had to check your email and cell for messages.

First, you showered to get the smell of animal off of you. As much as you loved them, the stench was awful and you’d rather die than let it get stuck to the comforter of your bed. Then, you hopped onto your reading nook, and began going through your emails.

Scroll, scroll, Isa Raymond. Scroll, scroll, Frank St. James… Frank St. James—that was your editor! “Fuck,” You swore under your breath, clicking the bolded words, your heart grew nervous. What if he didn’t like it? You always took criticism much harder when writing the essay’s for your book because everything comes from your experience—your spirit.

Your eyes panned over the words, seeing nothing but: phenomenal, and powerful, and effective, and most importantly, this will be the perfect addition to your bigger work. “Fuck, yeah!” You shouted, pumping your fist in the air.

A head peaked through your door, dark brown hair crowded with grays, and aged brown eyes. “Are we celebrating somethin’?”

Looking up, you smile at Joel, pushing your laptop to the side. “Yeah, actually. One of my chapters got approved by my editor.” You sighed, happily.

“Looks like that book really is comin’ along…” Joel hummed, sporting a proud look on his face. “Good thing Ellie and I made some breakfast— hot and ready! Do your parents have any champagne, so we can celebrate with some mimosa’s?”

Standing to your feet, you waved a hand. “It’s not that serious, Joel.” You chuckle, letting your hands rest on your hips.

“You think mimosa’s are serious? Whew, you need to come back home more often.” He joked, leaning on the threshold of your door.

Rolling your eyes, playfully, a chuckle leaves your throat. He was always so supportive. For a moment you though you lost the opportunity to see that side of him a long time ago. “There might be some in the fridge… And some cranberry juice.” He nodded, pumping his fist—him and Ellie were so much alike. “Give me, like, five minutes and I’ll be down. I have to respond to some messages.”

“Of course, workin’ girl. But don’t let your mimosa get warm… Or your food get cold— we worked hard on it.”

“I won’t.” You smiled, watching him leave your door. Quickly, you pulled out your cell, checking your messages. Some complaining messages from Sierra, Isa Raymond complimenting you—which she didn’t do often—and, a message from a past love interest, Abby Anderson.

Abs: I’m gonna be in your hometown for a few days, seeing some friends. We’re going to a bar later, you should come!

You hesitate to respond, but you do.

You: Oh, nice! Which bar?

There weren’t many bars where you came from, it was fairly small. But, you were getting an inkling that it was the same bar Ellie had invited you to—the Tipsy Bison.

Abs: Tipsy Bison, I believe.

You: I’m totally in. Could definitely use a drink right now.

Abs: Want me to come by and pick you up? I drove the Jaguar ;)

You: As tempting as that sounds, I already have a ride. See you then, Abby.

You slapped your phone shut to meander downstairs to the breakfast that awaited you. On a hot plate, made by Joel and Ellie themselves—which, typically, was delicious. They were both wonderful cooks.

Stepping down the stairs, you heard a sound come from your silver cell. You flipped it open with a sigh, seeing Abs highlighted by a green line.

Abs: Oh, damn… Abby. We’re not on nickname basis anymore?

You pursed your lips, shaking your head as you reached the bottom step.

You: Be normal about this, because I could’ve said no.

Shutting your phone, you slid them into the pocket of your pajama shorts. To purposefully ignore the rest of her texts until later. Everyone was still building their plates, walking to the dining table—including Cat, dressed in jeans and band t-shirt. Muse. “Joel, where’s the mimosa’s?” You arrived in the kitchen; Tommy hand you a ceramic plate was already plated with food.

“Sorry, kiddo.”

“Bug, the champagne in there has lost its bubbles— there’s no point.” He then grinned. “But that doesn’t mean we’re not gonna congratulate you for the chapter approval!” Your father clapped his hands, causing the others to join in—Maria, Joel, Cat, and Ellie.

You kiss his cheek. “Thanks, dad.” A blush frosts over your cheeks—face heating up like a furnace. “I hope we can get some by tomorrow. Thanksgiving is in two days.”

“I’m actually running downtown for a work thing…” Cat began, setting her plate at the dining table, preparing to sit. “I could grab some on the way back.”

“That’ll be perfect, Cat!” Maria exclaimed, smiling, brightly.

Why the fuck was she so nice? You almost wanted to mock your mother—even though they all just celebrated you a moment ago. Of course she’d offer to get the champagne. “Thanks, Cat.” You gave a toothless smile. A smile that plastered and could easily be noticed as fake by those around you. When you heard a snicker come from Ellie’s mouth, you knew that she noticed.

You shot her a glare, but that only made her lips spread into a wider smile. Toothy. Trying. As she settled into her chair, fork in hand.

Conversation over breakfast was light, and lovely. Slight jokes were made about Ellie’s farming skills, but nothing too much. You interacted with each other by mainly through looks and offhanded comments—enough for your mom to take notice. Nudging you under the table with her leg, but you gave her no mind.

After breakfast, you offered to clean up. And, of course, so did Ellie. You argued for a bit on who was going to wash the dishes, and who was going to dry them—settling on you washing and her drying. Cat took a taxi to wherever she needed to go, kissing the auburn-haired woman on the way out. Maria, Tommy and Joel settling in the living room, which was separated from the kitchen by a wall, catching up on sports. Your mother was oddly into that kind of stuff. Leaving you and Ellie all to yourselves, once more.

“Thanks, Cat. You’re so full of it.”

You handed her a wet, clean dish, rolling your eyes. “You have no idea what I’m full of.” A scoff falls from your lips, slightly curling at the ends. It’s not like you were upset, you were amused—you found her amusing. There was time between the scuffle from earlier and now; plus, you had a bit of a distraction for later.

You lathered the plate, running it under the hot water to rinse it off. “Your poker face is the absolute worst. Some things just never change— be okay with that.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Some things never change. You’re still so fucking annoying.”

“And, I remember you also saying… Corny?”

You drop your hands in the sink, running your tongue over your bottom lip. Frankly, you missed this so bad. Meeting her eyes was like the tide rising on a beach—it always happened in way that was intertwining and overcoming. This was how Ellie Williams flirted; she was incredibly insufferable! Her voice dropped an octave, becoming a bit raspier than it already was. You were familiar because, well, she used to be yours. And, like she said, some things never change.

The only way you could respond was by peering at her. Inspecting her. Handing over the wet dish without sparing a glance at the ceramic plate. You watched as she primed her lips to speak. “All jokes aside…” She began, wiping down the plate with a turquoise towel. “I wanna apologize for the pressure earlier— coming out with me.” Finishing up, she set the dishes on the rack, leaning her lower back against the counter. Her arms crossed over her chest, the tattoo on her forearm coming into view—something you didn’t fully notice before. “I totally get the hesitation. Dina can be a… Handful at times.”

“About that…” You dried your hands, wiping the water off the counter. “I’ve actually decided to go. I could use some hometown socializing— and Jesse’s still pretty sweet.”

Her earthy eyes sized you up, squinting her eyes. “Oh, is that who you want me to set you up with?”

“Seriously, Ellie, keep your day job.” You rolled your eyes, fixing everything around the kitchen so it could look clean. “We kind of keep in touch on MySpace.”

She gasped, deepening her eyebrows. “MySpace! I don’t even have you on MySpace—! I’m friends with Jesse, I would’ve seen this.”

“Well, my username isn’t quite my name… It’s BugsWritersRoom, and my icon is a picture of a latte— I can understand the confusion.” You shrug, nonchalantly.

Ellie subtly clenched her jaw at the idea of Jesse keeping something like this from her. It was fucked up to keep her from BugsWritersRoom—Ellie needed to be in on that. Whether she was going to friend you or not. “I’m about to start writing a bit… What’s you username, so I can stalk ‘ya?” The tone of your voice insinuated that it was a joke, but you weren’t joking at all. However, it wasn’t that you couldn’t find her before; you just didn’t want to. Twenty-four hours ago you were keen on keeping your distance—that also meant watching her online.

But, since the rekindling of this stomped out fire, you might as well catch up. And she was planning to do the same.

“StarlighterWilliams…” She muttered, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. You couldn’t help but wonder how she could shape shift from a semi-confident joker, to a bashful blusher within a few minutes—Ellie was one of a kind, certainly.

You hummed, lips curling at the sides. “Still a Savage Starlight fan, huh?”

“Yup.”

“At least all those comics and merch I bought for you didn’t go to waste.” You glance at the tall grandfather clock against the wall, huffing. Before you went out tonight, you wanted to get some words out of your head—there was plenty of time, as it was only nearing one in the afternoon. But you wanted some alone time, too.

She wanted to respond with how she’d never toss the items you bought for her—something cheesy like that—but, you spoke before her. “I guess the next time I’ll see you, I won’t be in old-as-shit pajamas. What are you thinkin’—? 9:30?”

“Yeah, 9:30s fine…” Her eyes ran over your frame. The tight strappy top that clung to your adult figure, and the loose satin shorts that hung low on your hips. A water stain had grown on the middle of your stomach from washing the dishes, and because the shirt was white your skin peeked through. If only it was a little higher—

“Cool. See you later.” You walked around the island, toward your parents and Joel. “If you guys need anything, I’ll be upstairs working. Just call me.” Ellie watched as you bent down to kiss their temples, including Joel from an old habit. She watched you laugh if off, but your pace quickened toward the stairs. Your eyes flickered to hers, a causal finger pointing in her direction. “That goes for you, too.” You winked.

It was like everything was in slow motion as she watched you. Especially, that fucking wink! Yeah, Ellie understood that wink was probably for weed—it couldn’t have been anything else. “I’m getting myself into some deep trouble.” She spoke under her breath, hanging her head low.

“Hey, guys!” She spoke to the three Miller’s on the couch, stalking toward the front. “I’ll be at the guesthouse.” She waved a few fingers, with her mind occupied completely elsewhere. In the gutter, as many called it.

Joel turned around, leaning his arm against the back of the couch. “You don’t wanna see the bets for the thanksgiving game?”

Ellie didn’t even pause at the door, she responded while walking through. “Absolutely the fuck not. You kids have fun, though!”

She basically ran to the guesthouse, leaning her back against the door once she was inside. In short, she was horny. Oh, so horny—Ellie was without a muse in many different parts of her life currently. And, don’t get her wrong; her girlfriend was smoking hot, but she wasn’t you! She couldn’t be happier that Cat was out of the house. So, she could lay her back against the bed they shared, with her pants off and her hand between her legs. Mind trailing with images of you.

Meanwhile, you sat crisscrossed on your made-up bed, searching for Ellie. StarlightWilliams, she said. You clicked and scrolled until you saw her user icon. It was a picture of her playing guitar. Her short side-bangs covered her face, arms draped over the guitar she’s had for years. At least, it looked like that one that you were familiar with. The one you carved your initials into the back when you were sixteen. Somebody had taken the picture, and you hoped to God it wasn’t Cat. That was your first thought.

You were beginning to make peace with the fact that you were an asshole. Your parents raised an asshole who’s jealousy raged in a passive manner.

With hesitation, you clicked the her name. Her account popped up and was coded to absolute hell. Did she do all of this herself? The side panels had a bunch of Savage Starlight png’s floating around. And, there was a silly picture in her bio of Kenny from South Park—of course, she liked South Park.

Her mood was recently updated: Conflicted.

Her bio was very concise: i’m ellie :3. Which is then preceded by a couple music videos: Hella Good by No Doubt and Somewhere Only We Know by Keane.

You found yourself smiling as you scrolled down her profile, causing you to click the friend button without a second thought. Skipping over the photos of her and Cat, which wasn’t that hard to do—considering there wasn’t many. There were photos of Ellie cuddled between Jesse and Dina, looking happier than ever. Some mirror photos taken with a camera in her bathroom. Her hair mussed and choppily cut, but nonetheless, she looked good. Small nerdy shirts and low-hanging jeans, accessorized with studded belts and carabiners.

Hot.

Breaking you from what felt like a spell, your roommate began ringing your cell. She caused you to shut your laptop, and roll all over your bed talking to her. You paced around your room, playing with little knickknacks, glancing out your window to see the view of the guesthouse.

Sierra demanded to know the details about being around your teenagehood ex-girlfriend, and you told her enough. Not the intrusive thoughts about being a homewrecker, but how easily they got along. How the past had only come up once, but not in the way you thought it would. You bickered and joked and teased like nothing happened.

Now, your roommate back in Manhattan, laughed at that. She claimed that she had psychic tendencies, saying: you guys are gonna fuck nasty! You refused, feigning sounds of disgust. That wasn’t the case—that could never be the case. To change the subject, you mentioned Abby being in town, and she grimaced on the other line.

It was girl talk like no other.

After the call, you decided to quit daydreaming over Ellie’s MySpace account and actually start writing.

The next chapter you were working on was following moments after the breakup—the sorry attempts at moving on, college, moving from home.

You spent hours outlining and rough drafting, cursing at yourself because nothing was coming out right. Sooner or later, eight o’clock came around—meaning it was time for you to get ready.

Sifting through your luggage, you threw clothes over your shoulder trying to piece together an outfit. You wanted to look good, but you didn’t want to appear like you were trying too hard. Abby was gonna be there, so you couldn’t slack. And, Ellie hasn’t seen you in anything other than comfortable clothes since you reconnected.

Jeans were your safety, and a black jean vest you were going to put over a white v-neck—not forgetting the leather jacket to cover your arms and a pair of boot heels to give you some height.

You were ready by 9:15, adding perfume to the pressure points on your body. Dressing your lips in a sparkling lipgloss that complimented your skin. With a baggy purse on your shoulder, you clicked your finger on the buttons in your phone, descending the staircase.

Abs: Always so feisty, babe. See you later.

Seeing her message from earlier, you puff a frustrated breath from your lips. Babe. God, that woman needed to pipe it down—it’s like she knew you were gonna give it up, or something. That was actually something you were still unsure about.

When you appeared in the living room, your heels alerted your family to your presence. Ellie leaned against the couch, coolly, swinging her keys around her finger. She wore low-hanging jeans, a plain top with a striped long-sleeve under it with a thick jacket layered on top—probably Joel’s. “You ready to go?” You raised your eyebrows, chewing on your bottom lip—nerves wracking through you.

Either because of Ellie’s soft eyes on you, or the anticipation of seeing Abby. It was hard to tell.

“Uh, y-yeah… Yeah, let’s go.” She stammered, standing to her feet.

Maria sipped on a glass of wine, eyeing your clothes. “You look cute, Bug— for any reason in particular?” She raised a blonde eyebrow.

“Mom, I’m going to a bar… Why wouldn’t I look cute?”

“She’s a single woman in her twenties, Maria—“

“Let’s not.” You wave your hand, cutting Tommy off. “Ellie,” You spoke, subtly pleading.

She nodded, catching the keys in her hand. “All right, we’re going.” Ellie opened the door for you, allowing you to push toward the screen door—the one you held for her.

“Be safe!”

“Of course!” The both of you responded, glancing at each other with semi-stern eyes.

Heels clicking on the porch, you walk down the steps into the gravel. “Where’s Cat? Is she not going out with us?”

Ellie unlocked her truck, clicking the button on the remote in her hand. “Wouldn’t you like to know…”She snickered, peering at you, unable to hide the glimmer in eyes from taking in your appearance. “Her work thing took longer than she thought. She didn’t feel like comin’ out.”

Yes!

“Ah,” You responded instead of jumping up and down, cheering. Getting into the car was a lift, hopping into the passenger seat.

Her copper truck had aged, but had that same old feel to it. Feeling the stitched seats, shamelessly, brought you back to when you were younger—sitting in her truck those first few times. It was kind of claustrophobic and intimidating being this tightly bound to Ellie.

She was less tense, shutting the door behind her. Ellie put the keys in the ignition, starting the car and turning on the radio. Blink-182, I Miss You, played low—the silence between the two of you speaking up. She scoffed under her breath, switching the radio to another station. “Too slow,” The auburn-haired woman muttered.

“I liked that song, though…” You look at her from the corner of your eye.

Hesitantly, she glanced at you, reached her hand back to the number to switch the station back to the alternative one playing Blink-182. Ellie pressed her lips into a line, putting the truck into drive.

The trip was no longer than ten minutes to the Tipsy Bison. A trip filled with radio music and glances back and forth. To occupy yourself, you played Tetris on your cell until you felt the truck slowing down in the parking lot. When she shut the car off, that’s when your nerves really picked up.

“They should already be inside.” Ellie pointed out. She inspected you the passenger seat, rigid shoulders and a clenching jaw. “You look good— great, even. It might be a little awkward, but—“

“How about this…” You run your tongue over your bottom lip, tasting the strawberry flavored gloss on your lips. “You go on ahead inside— I’ll meet you.” Pulling the handle, you hop out the truck. Your fingers rustle through your purse for the yellow pack of American Spirits and your lighter.

Ellie bunched her thick eyebrows, following you out the car. Locking the doors behind her. “What?”

“I can’t smoke inside… So, go ahead.” You popped out a cigarette, placing it between your lips.

“You sure? I feel like it’ll be easier if we walk in together.” She furrowed her eyebrows, seeing the uncomfortableness written all over your face.

“I’m sure, Ellie. Just go.” You avert your eyes, lighting the tip of the nicotine stick. Waiting for that first inhale to calm your nerves.

She stuffed her hand into her pockets, nodding her head. “I will see you inside, right?” Ellie questioned, fearing that you’d run off. Your only response was a released of smoke from your lips, and a pair of narrowed eyes. “Fuck,” She cursed. “Fine. See you inside.”

Ellie disappeared into the bar. You kicked a leg up against the wall, tapping the ash from your cigarette. Who knew what the feelings of one person could do. In your head, you played through every possible outcome of the situation—seeing Dina again. She could either be really sweet, like she used to be, or still be that grudging person that you familiarized yourself after that day.

The high beams of a shiny, black Jaguar came into your sights—blinding you. You hold up your hand, covering your eyes with arched lips. They were so bright, you didn’t realize who they belonged to until she got out. The blonde wore all black in the sleekest way possible—letting everyone know in this town that she was better than them. That was just the aura she had.

Her long blonde hair was pushed behind her ears and shifted against her black leather jacket. The high beams blinked off, as she approached you, pushing up a a pair of black sunglasses over her head.

“It’s dark out. How do you even drive with those things on?” You raise a skeptical eye, taking a drag from the cigarette between your index and middle finger.

“A hi or hello would be a preferred greeting.” Abby teased, lips spreading into a movie-star smile.

Pressing your lips into a line, ashing the rest of the cigarette out on the wall. “Hi, Abby.” You couldn’t have rolled your eyes harder, really. Her strong arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you into her chest. It was firm, but most importantly, warm and comforting. Your arms stretched around her back, nuzzling more into her embrace.

“I hope the cigarette’s the only reason why you’re standing out in the cold.” She pulled back just enough, to keep your bodies pressed together and to meet your eyes.

“Yeah, pretty much.” You purse your lips.

Abby’s hand massaged your tensed shoulders. “Then, let’s get inside. Let me get you a drink to warm you up.”

Ellie already had a drink in hand, and a water for you, unsure of what you wanted. Jesse and Dina had visited her many times in New York—this wasn’t a rekindling. It was just a couple of friends meeting for some beers and a few laughs. Her olive eyes kept glancing at the door waiting for you to come through in all of your glory. And, you were being timed. If you didn’t push through those doors within the next ten minutes, she was going to come out and drag you inside.

As she were about to tell them that she was going to get you, threatening Dina to be nice, you walked in. But you weren’t alone. A tall, muscular blonde had her arm around your shoulders, pulling your tight to her side. And, fucking hell, she looked so much cooler than Ellie did.

She watched as her blue eyes danced around the bar, looking for someone. They widened, and a smile spread on her lips. Hand raising to the ceiling to wave at her friends occupying a booth behind Ellie, Jessie, Dina. “Who the fuck is that?” She spoke, arching her lip in disgust—which wasn’t entirely purposely.

You noticed Ellie, standing from the table she sat at. Waving your fingers, you gave a small smile. Until your eyes landed on an obsidian-haired young woman, with a resting bitch face worse than your own. Dina was leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed. You allowed Abby to guide you to the bar, ordering your usual—a double vodka cranberry.

Something about this night was going to be very, very long. Good thing Cat didn’t come out.

taglist: @autisticintr0vert , @liasxeatt

[pandapetals]

New Year's Eve

You and Logan broke up. Now you are alone at a New Year's Eve party with Jean and Scott until Logan shows up.

logan howlett x fem!reader - exes, past relationship but you broke up, confessions, angst, kissing, inspired by when harry met sally because i live, breath and sleep that movie, jean and scott are married

a/n: sorry i haven't posted in like a week. wanted to take a little break. here's a cute, short one for new years. been working on stuff for professor logan but also some smutty ones...so happy new year!

divider credit: @enchanthings

Jean and Scott had insisted—practically dragged you out the door—that the New Year’s Eve party would be just what you needed. They’d promised laughter, music, and a fresh start, but now, standing in the corner of the crowded loft, you wondered if you’d ever believe them again. The room buzzed with chatter and bursts of laughter, but all you could hear was the soft clink of champagne glasses and the distant tick of the clock, marking time painfully cruelly.

You tugged at the hem of your dress, suddenly self-conscious. It had taken an hour to pick it out, another to do your makeup, and for what? To feel invisible in a room full of people paired off like they’d been scripted in some perfect rom-com? You sipped your champagne, warm now from sitting untouched in your hand too long, and scanned the crowd. Couples danced, heads close together, their smiles private and unshakable. Others huddled in cozy corners, sharing secrets you couldn’t hear over the music.

And then there was you. Alone.

It was suffocating, the kind of loneliness that didn’t just ache—it hollowed you out. You pushed through the sea of glitter and laughter, muttering apologies as you brushed against sequined shoulders until you reached the doorway. The air outside had to be better than this.

But before you could make your escape, Jean caught sight of you. Her hand wrapped around your arm, her brows pulling together in concern. “Hey, where are you going? It’s almost midnight.”

You hesitated, your shoulders sinking as the weight of it all threatened to crush you. “This is too much,” you admitted, your voice barely audible over the noise behind you. “Everyone’s here with someone, and I’m… alone. On New Year’s. Again.” You tried to laugh it off, but the crack in your voice betrayed you. “It’s pathetic.”

Scott appeared behind Jean, his usual serious scowl replaced with something softer. “Come on, it’s not that bad,” he said. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll kiss you at midnight. Jean won’t mind.”

Jean rolled her eyes, smacking his arm lightly. “What Scott means is, you don’t need to kiss anyone. It’s just a silly tradition.”

“Says the happily married couple,” you shot back, trying to keep your tone light but failing miserably. The words felt sharp, even as they left your lips. You looked away, blinking back the sting in your eyes. You didn’t want them to see you like this—not here, not tonight.

You turned toward the door again, ready to leave the whole glittering mess of a party behind. But then, over the sound of the countdown starting from somewhere deep in the room—Ten! Nine! Eight!—you heard it. Your name.

You froze, heart pounding, sure you must have imagined it. But then it became louder this time, cutting through the crowd like a lifeline.

“Hey! Wait—wait, stop! I need to—”

You turned, and there he was. Logan. Standing in the middle of the room, slightly out of breath, his dark hair sticking up in every possible direction, like he’d run all the way here. He wasn’t dressed for the occasion—far from it. His sweatpants were rumpled, his hoodie looked like it had seen better days, and his sneakers were splattered with mud. A sharp contrast to the sharp suits and sequins around him. But none of it mattered. Not when his eyes locked onto yours like you were the only person in the room.

Your breath hitched, and for a second, you thought your heart might stop.

“Logan, what are you—?” The words stumbled out, but he was already walking toward you, weaving through the crowd like nothing else existed but you.

“I just… I had to see you,” Logan said as he came closer, his voice rough.

The countdown blared louder now—Three! Two!—but Logan’s eyes never left yours. He shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket as if trying to steady himself, but his voice was unwavering. “I know I screwed up. I know I hurt you. But when I thought about starting a new year, all I could think was… I don’t want to start it without you. I don’t want to spend any year without you.”

One! The crowd erupted into cheers and noisemakers, the room exploding with confetti and champagne, but everything else blurred. Logan took a step closer, his voice soft, but urgent.

“You’re it for me. And I’ll spend every day proving it if you’ll let me.”

Your breath hitched, your chest rising and falling in uneven waves as his words settled over you. For a moment, you could only stare at him, a thousand emotions colliding in your chest—anger, hurt, longing, and something softer, warmer, breaking through the cracks. You shook your head slowly, your lips parting as you struggled to find the right words.

“That’s just like you, Logan,” you said finally, your voice unsteady, laced with equal parts frustration and disbelief. “To say things like that… and make it impossible for me to hate you.”

His lips curved upward just slightly, a flicker of hope in the storm of his expression. “You don’t hate me—”

“No,” you cut in, your voice trembling. “I don’t. But I tried to. God, Logan, I tried. Do you have any idea how hard I tried to move on?” Your eyes burned as the tears you’d held back all night finally broke free, streaking hot down your cheeks. “But I couldn’t. Because no matter how hard I tried to tell myself it was over, no matter how many times I told myself I deserved better, all I could think about was you.”

Logan’s jaw tightened, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. He stepped closer, his movements careful, as if afraid you might shatter if he came too close too quickly. His eyes searched yours, wide and unguarded, every ounce of his usual bravado stripped away.

“Sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice low and pleading. “Please. I came here tonight because—” He hesitated, running a hand through his already wild hair, the words catching in his throat. But then he looked at you again, and his expression shifted—steady now, sure, like a man who had decided to bare his heart no matter the cost.

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone,” he said, each word landing like a weight between you, “you want the rest of your life to start now.”

The room seemed to tilt, the noise of the party fading into nothing but a distant hum. You could still hear the laughter, the music, the faint clinking of glasses, but it all felt so far away. All you could focus on was Logan—his face open and earnest, his hands balled into fists at his sides like he was holding himself together by sheer willpower.

“You broke my heart,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Do you know how hard it is to put yourself back together after something like that?”

Logan nodded, his gaze unwavering. “I know,” he said softly. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you’ll let me. I swear to God, I’ll never hurt you like that again. I’ll never give you a reason to doubt me again.”

Your chest ached the weight of everything unsaid pressing against your ribs. You wanted to believe him. You did believe him. But the fear was still there, clinging to you like a shadow. “How do I know this isn’t just another promise you can’t keep?”

Logan took another step closer, close enough now that you could see the faint stubble on his jaw, the dark circles under his eyes, the way his hands trembled ever so slightly as he reached for yours. He didn’t take them, not yet, but he held them just inches from yours, his fingers hovering like he was waiting for permission.

“Because this isn’t a promise,” he said, his voice steady now, resolute. “This is me telling you the truth. You’re it for me. You’ve always been it for me. And I’m not going to let you go again, not without a fight. I’ll fight for you every damn day if I have to.”

The tears spilled faster now, your shoulders shaking as the last of your resolve crumbled. You didn’t want to fight him anymore—not when every part of you ached to close the distance between you, to let yourself believe in the possibility of something new, something real. Slowly, tentatively, you reached for his hands, your fingers brushing his.

“I don’t know if I can just forget everything that happened,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Logan shook his head, a small, bittersweet smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I’m not asking you to forget,” he said. “I’m asking you to let me try to make it right. I want to show you that I can be the man you deserve. And if it takes me the rest of my life to prove that to you, then so be it.”

You let out a shaky laugh, your lips trembling as you looked up at him. “You’re such an idiot,” you said, the words soft, fond, and full of emotion.

He grinned then, his first real smile of the night, and it lit up his entire face. “Yeah, well, I’m your idiot.”

You took the last step, closing the space between you as you wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his chest.

Logan let out a breath, his arms coming around you like he never wanted to let go. “Does this mean we’re starting the year together?” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion.

You pulled back just enough to look up at him, your tears mixing with a soft, tremulous smile. “Yeah,” you said, your voice breaking but full of certainty. “It does.”

Gently you pulled him down for a kiss as the sound of the countdown faded into the background, and the cheers of the crowd blurred into nothing. “Happy New Year, sweetheart,” Logan whispered against your lips. 

[magics-neptunes-things]

Struck By Love

Hi guys!

I received a lot of really nice comments about my first fic with Steph and some of you wanted a second part of this story, so here it is :)

Please enjoy ♥

And Happy New Year!

TW : Injury

Chapter Before

You probably never have been so happy in your life until now. After Emily and Kat’s wedding, you came back to London to begin your life again. It was nice to see your family back in Australia, but you must admit that you were eager to come back home. Like this you will be able to see Steph again, because the girl went back to her family in Melbourne to finish her trip here.

You didn’t take your ticket the same day as Steph, you were on the plane with Caitlin, Katie and Kyra instead. Hayley is already back in London at this time. Steph is too, but you decided that she won’t come to greet you. As you said it will have her Arsenal teammates, so it was better that way.

In January, you took her to several dates in London, enjoying being able to have quality time with her. You went to restaurants, for some walks with Calvin and you even went ice skating together.

You love having time with her, getting to know her better. You have been very honest with her about the depth and the reality of your feelings for her since the beginning, and she doesn’t seem scared about it. Which is a real relief, even if you don’t expect anything from her at any time.

You are happy to just wait for her and you let her take the lead about what she’s ready to do. The dynamic works great like this and you are secretly very happy to see that you weren’t the only one eager to have moments together. When you don’t propose to see her for two days in a row, Steph asks you if you are free the same day.

You helped her to find a flat and she finally has found something with a garden for Calvin and not far from Arsenal’s training centre. It’s closer to your flat than where she was leaving before, too.

On the fifth date, you had this conversation about knowing what the other wants about your relationship and even if no one asked the other to be her girlfriend formally, you were both clear about the fact that you will be exclusive. It was obvious for you, but Steph needed reassurance, and you were happy to give it to her.

Like if you would be able to look at someone else anyway.

There are times where you can’t see each other for almost four days because of your schedule and the games, and it’s always a little hard when it is happening. It’s the case today.

You left for Manchester on Friday to play Saturday against United and Steph left with Arsenal on Saturday to play against Brighton & Hove Albion on Sunday. You had your day off on Sunday, so you were able to watch Steph’s game, but you haven’t seen her for real since Thursday and it’s way too long for your liking.

It seems that is the case for Steph too, the girl is literally rushing to get her things in her bag and be able to leave the training centre. She almost doesn’t take the time to answer Kyra’s teasing while putting on her shoes and her coat.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” Katie arches an eyebrow, looking at Steph running around from her bench.

“I have a thousand things to do at home”

Steph answers casually and her answer seems to catch Beth’s attention. It is too casual to be real in the blonde’s opinion. But she doesn’t have the time to say something because soon Steph isn’t here anymore.

“What is she up to?” Kyra frowns at Beth.

“Dunno. That was weird”

Both look at each other before grinning and saying at the same time.

“We need to find out what is happening.”

********

You were far from this, finally parking your car in Steph’s street. You stopped in a local pizzeria to grab some pizza for the night, in a place you know that Steph likes. You very quickly learned her favourite things to eat or her command at Starbucks for example.

You don’t have to wait very long for Steph to open the door after you knock on it, it was only thirty seconds wait.

“Hello-ooo” you say before being grabbed by the collar of your jacket and taken inside.

Right after you feel Steph’s lips against yours and you put the pizza somewhere to be able to kiss her back easier. Your smile kind of broke the kiss but Steph doesn’t seem to mind. You kiss her cheek and her neck before taking a discreet but big breath of her perfume.

“I missed you” she whispers, and you hug her harder against you.

“Missed you too”

You still can’t believe that this situation is really happening. You never thought that you will be able to have this kind of relationship with Steph one day. You are scared to lose it now to be honest, but you try to concentrate on the present.

Steph finally drags you to her living room, where you just cuddle while eating your pizzas and looking at a film. Steph already took Calvin for his walk today and he’s peacefully asleep on his dog bed in the corner of the living room.

You aren’t really looking at the movie to be honest. You asked her a lot of questions to know how her four days really went. You wrote her messages, and you had her on the phone twice, but with her teammates around, it’s never really easy.

You are still secret for now, wanting to have this secret only between you two. You like it that way, finding Steph at the end of the day and being in your little bubble of love.

“That plaid is the best purchase I have ever made” Steph comments at some point.

You laugh while looking at the big and fluffy plaid who is big enough to easily cover both of you. It’s comfy and hot too. And it has the advantage of having Steph’s smell.

“I like it too” you smile, snuggling against her.

The pizza boxes are abandoned on the table with some pizza crusts inside. Like every time you command at this place, it was a great pizza. You haven’t eaten everything though, so if you are hungry during the night you will have something to eat.

“How are your hands still so cold?”

You smirk when Steph wiggle to get away from you, passing now both of your hands under her shirt.

“Babe stop” she giggles.

But you don’t stop, amused by her reaction. When your hands are hot enough against her skin, you kiss her, happily taking advantage of your position. She kisses you back and you kind of lose any notion of anything when she passes her arms around your neck to take you against her.

You are still kissing several minutes after, when Steph’s door is opened by a non-really discreet Kyra. But between the noise of the TV and what you are doing, it would be almost impossible to hear anything. Thank god, no one decided to burgle Steph’s house tonight.

Steph is now lying on you, still under the plaid, but during your making out session your hands never left her body. You have now one of them on her bum, while the other is in her hair. Steph’s hands are softly scratching your abs, a gesture that makes you half-crazy.

“Oh my god what the hell is happening here?!”

Kyra’s scream makes both of you jump and Steph avoids falling off the couch only thanks to your excellent reflexes. Seeing your reactions, Calvin jumps from his bed to start to bark at Kyra.

“No one ever taught you the use of a door?” Steph asks after having calmed Calvin.

“You weren’t answering! And I used the key you gave me” Kyra answers, pointing an accusing finger at Steph.

Steph groans and you silently nod somewhere in your head to take this key away from Kyra as soon as possible.

“What is happening between you two? I thought you were straight!” Kyra asks Steph, frowning at you.

You look at each other, not really knowing what to answer. You are both standing now in front of the couch where you were very intimate several seconds ago.

“Being engaged to a man doesn’t make me straight. And it’s none of your business.” Steph rolls her eyes at her.

The big sister versus little sister energy makes you smile, but you don’t show it too much, letting cowardly Steph deal with her pest.  

“I just saw you with your tongue in her mouth, it’s totally my business now”

Little sister energy.

When you see that Steph is looking at you for some help, you don’t hesitate to stand at her high though, putting a hand on her back. You feel the nerves getting out of her body a little bit under your touch.

“Was it why you were in such a hurry earlier?” Kyra asks again, softer this time.

“Yes” Steph sighs “We have this… things going on since December and even if I haven’t talked about it to anyone it makes me really happy. I just wanted to keep it for us for now”

Steph throws a quick look at you when she uses the word “things”, and you answer her with a soft smile. Like you said before, you never put a real label on your relationship.

“Are you serious about it?”

It’s a little passive-aggressive now and the question is directed towards you. You arch an eyebrow, not really used to have to face an angry Kyra with arms crossed on her chest.

“I am” you answer calmly.

“Good. Because I let an asshole coming in her life once, I won’t let another one doing the same thing”

“God Kyra, shut up”

A pillow flows right in Kyra’s face. Steph seems to be really uncomfortable about Kyra’s statement, but you find it cute instead. And you are glad to see that Steph has friends like Kyra in her life.

“Will I have shared custody?” you joke to Steph, looking in Kyra’s direction.

“She’s Mini’s kid, not mine”

Later that evening, after having kicked Kyra out and making her swear not to say anything to anyone, you find yourself with Steph in her bed. You are scrolling on your phone and texting some members of your family in Australia while Steph is lying on your chest.

You are playing with her hair too. You are very comfortable like this and you could stay here until the end of the world. Steph seems lost in her thoughts, unless she’s falling asleep. But you don’t interrupt her, knowing that she will talk to you if she needs to share anything.

It’s only when she turns her head to look at you that you put your phone on the bed, your other hand still in her hair.

“Is everything alright?” you ask softly.

She hums for only an answer, before going up on your body to put her head on your shoulder and not on your chest. You let her, passing your hand around her waist and kissing her head.

“I missed you”

Like this afternoon you feel your heart miss a beat and you love the warm feeling her words provide in you.

“I missed you too Stephy” you smile at her. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing really, just that I hope Kyra will know how to shut her mouth”

“I’m sure she will”

You have a good feeling about it, Kyra might be a little pest when she wants it, but she’s very protective about the people she loves. And you know that even if you aren’t close to her like Steph or Mini, she loves Steph. And she will do what is needed for Steph’s good.

You kiss Steph’s hair again and when she looks up you put a tender kiss on her lips. You both are pretty tired after your weekend so you quickly both fall asleep after that.

********

In late February, you are back with the Matildas for the Shebelieves Cup. You made the journey with Steph of course, but also Kyra, Caitlin, Hayley and all the girls playing in England. You are a little sad to be seated next to Charli and not Steph, who is next to Mini.

You would probably have a better sleep if you were able to put your head on Steph’s shoulder, but the travel passed anyway. You are not with Steph either in your hotel rooms, this time sharing the room with Alanna. Steph is almost on the other side of the floor every time which practically prevents you from sneaking into her room at some point.

So you are a little bit moody this morning at breakfast, between the jet lag and the fact that you haven’t slept very well because Alanna is snoring like a damn combine harvester.

You are under your hood while eating your mountain of cereals alone, until Mini, Harper and Kyra come to sit with you.

“Hello sunshine. Mind if we sit here?” Kyra smirks.

You groan for any answer, making the girl giggle. You then put your eyes on Harper, who seems sulking too.

“Are you grumpy too because they don’t have any Froot Loops and only those disgusting Kellog’s?” Harper asks you, eyebrows frowned.

“Sure am Buddy” you answer. “And because no one told me that I will be sleeping with a tractor”

“Sorry, I thought that Lani’s snores were known by anyone” Caitlin says from the table next to yours.

Your other teammates are coming to have breakfast little by little around you now.

“What is known by anyone?” Steph asks casually, sitting in front of Caitlin.

Your apparition makes a funny thing in your stomach and you wonder quickly until when those butterflies will stay.

“That Y/N slept with Lani” Harper answers with all her innocence, making you choke on your cereal, Steph spilling her coffee and Kyra dying laughing. “But Lani did it like a tractor”

“Harper, you can’t phrase things like that” a laughing Mini intervenes.

“God” you mumble, holding your forehead.

You throw a tentative glance towards Steph, above Kyra’s head who is always laughing like crazy. She receives a slap behind her head by Caitlin, distracting everyone’s attention while you and Steph exchange a glance.

She doesn’t seem disturbed by what just happened, but on the other hand you never slept with Alanna. She even has an amused smile on her face.

That moment is quickly known by all the team of course, and it makes Alanna laugh too. You have to admit that it’s pretty funny and now that you know that Steph hasn’t taken anything badly, it’s easier to laugh about it.

You are more concentrated on not looking at Steph all day, though. Not for the same reasons as before. Before it was not to be caught by Steph herself. Now it’s to avoid being discovered by someone. You find it even harder now though, because you have the right to do it.

You don’t know if Steph’s smile will stay on her face all day, however, because all the team seems to take the joke really by heart. You received some comments about it all day, from your teammates but from people on the staff too. It even went viral on social media.

Alanna doesn’t seem to mind though, given the way she takes you by your shoulders to drag you back into your room before dinner.

“Come on Casanova, show me again some moves you got”

You roll your eyes but follow her anyway, taken away from any idea of sneaking out somewhere in the city with Steph. You haven’t been able to talk to her all day long and she doesn’t know you wanted to do that, but you still miss that plan.

Of course, when you are in the room you share with Alanna, she goes to her bed while you do the same. On yours. If it needs to be said, you never had any interest in the blonde, even if you like her very much. As a friend.

You always have a crossword book with you and that is with what you were occupying yourself when you feel your phone vibrating on your nightstand, where you put it to charge.

From Pudding 💞 Having fun?

You roll your eyes and disconnect your phone from the cable of your charging. You then sit cross-legged on your bed, your book forgotten.

From You No 🥺 I miss you What are you doing?

From Pudding 💞 Nothing much. Just watching Kyra and Charli misbehave with Harper

From You If I manage to escape my room, would you like to go for a walk? We have time to do it until dinner

From Pudding 💞 I’d love to 😌

You smile and you lurk towards Alanna to know what excuse you could use to get out of the room without being suspect.

“I’m going to take something to drink, do you want something?”

“Mh? No, thanks” Alanna mumbles back without looking at you.

From You I’m coming. Find me in front of the hotel?

You don’t wait for Steph’s answer before going up, putting your shoes and your hoodie back and going out of the room. You don’t see anyone when you reach the entrance of the hotel, or at least anyone from the Australian team.

Steph is already waiting for you, hidden in the corner of the building and you hurry your path to meet her.

Your first move is to go for a hug, but Steph stops you with a hand on your stomach.

“Someone still can see us here” she explains to you with a soft smile.

You nod and follow her steps, putting your hands in the pocket of your hoodie instead. Being next to her like this without being able to touch her is torturous for you. And you are together for only two months, you wonder how a couple can hide their relationship for years.

“How are you?” you ask her after several meters.

“Fine. It’s strange to be with you all day without being able to really be with you, you know?”

“Yeah. I feel the same”

You bite your lip softly, wondering how to approach the teasing you have to endure all day. You don’t know how she feels about it and you don’t want to assume anything. But it’s finally Steph who talks again first.

“But Kyra made me realise that not talking to you at all might be suspect for the others too. I mean we were friends before and we were quite close to each other, you know?”

You nod slowly at that. It was true, you went for example in the vineyard with her before your first kiss at Emily’s wedding.

“She’s right” you smile, relieved to realise that you are finally authorized to spend some time with her. “It’s weird that this advice comes from Kyra though”

Steph smirks and, now that you are away from the hotel, grabs your arm with hers. You let her do it, quickly kissing her temple.

“She might have teased me a little bit” Steph admits after some time.

“About us?”

“Yes, and that rumour about you and Alanna. And the fact that you seemed moody all morning too”

“I was, I really haven’t slept enough” you shrug before frowning. “But I’m sorry about the teasing”

“It’s okay” Steph smiles at you. “I know it’s not the truth”

You have to admit that Steph is way more chill than you are. Or maybe less jealous? Maybe both, because you totally remember about you being jealous when she was dancing and laughing with Mackenzie at Emily’s wedding for example.

You stay silent, a little bit ashamed about it. But your silence seems to tease Steph’s curiosity.

“It’s not true, right?”

“Oh, yes. Of course it isn’t” you hasten to confirm.

You free your arm to pass it around Steph’s waist, holding her against you. You were still walking, a little bit randomly to be honest. You haven’t really discovered the horizons; you had to travel a lot in the USA for the Cup, and you would rather be peacefully in your room than walking around.

“Do you want to grab a coffee?”

You turn your head towards the Café Steph is looking at and nod. You’re not a big fan of coffee to be honest, but you know that Steph is. You follow her inside, letting her pass her command first before asking for a tea yourself.

“How do you feel about tomorrow?” you ask the other Aussie when you are seated.

“Concentrated. We need to be if you want to win”

“I wasn’t asking my Captain” you smirk above your tea. “I was asking you”

Just like she does sometimes, she looks at you with a way softer look than usual, and a cute smile, and it makes you melt. So much that you have to be really concentrated to follow the next part of the conversation.

The next day, you are playing against Colombia and when you enter the stadium, you feel pretty confident. Not because you are sure that you will win, but because you know that the team will do as much as possible to win the game. You are starting, positioned just behind Caitlin Foord in the middle of the pitch. It makes you stand in the middle of the players but you still manage to have a good view of your whatever Steph is.

You managed to go back to the hotel without no one asking you any questions yesterday, Alanna easily believing your story about being asked by Kyra for a random Uno game.

The first part of the game went great, to be honest. Colombia is a tough opponent, but you are winning 3-1, thanks to two goals from Caitlin and a really well managed free kick by Steph. You even managed to have an assist for one of the goals.

Around the seventy-minute Steph got subbed, just like Caitlin for Michelle Heyman. Your teammate from Tottenham, Hayley, is still on the pitch, just like Kyra.

In the 76 minutes, Colombia managed to score their second goal making 3-2 and you knew from that moment that they will push as much as possible to score a third one. Mackenzie is able to make some great stops and at the 82 Hayley almost scores, the ball hitting the corner of the post before going right in the stands.

At the 84, Mackenzie stops a ball from a corner and throws it quickly in the front, where you are waiting with Michelle. The blonde catches the ball and you follow her, facing two Colombians. You easily catch the pass Michelle offers you and run towards the goalkeeper, not expecting a single second a tackle coming from behind.

That is what happens though, your ankle painfully trapped between two legs, making you fall on the ground. It hurts and between the pain and how hard you fall on the ground, you have trouble breathing completely again.

You don’t hear the chaos above you, Ellie and Mini screaming at your opponent, the red card she takes or even the referee trying to calm everyone down. You just try to breathe, focusing your attention on your throbbing ankle and the design of Kyra’s boots, protectively crouch somewhere near your head.

“Hey it’s okay, you're okay” she says to you.

“She’s bleeding, we have to take her shoe and sock off”

You don’t recognize which one of the paramedics is talking, but you groan in protest when they grab your ankle. You hear the referee asking them to take you outside the pitch and some of your teammates protesting something, but you don’t really care. You didn’t have to deal with a lot of injuries in your life, but this one really hurts. It scares you, to be honest.

You hear the applause of the crowd when you are taken inside the stadium on the stretcher, but you don’t really react, hiding your face in both of your arms.

It’s way quieter when you are inside the infirmary, where a nurse gives you something for the pain. You thank her quietly, drinking the fresh water she gives you soon after with appreciation.

“We have to put some stitches on before going to hospital for a scan. Given how she takes you down, you might have something broken”

“Great” you sigh, looking at the ceiling.

Your mind goes to Steph. You would like to have her with you, but she’s the captain and has other duties. You are only friends for the others and if one of them should come with you, it would be more logical for Hayley to come with you.

But you are happily surprised to see that it’s in fact Steph who comes inside the room almost twenty minutes later, while you are still waiting for the stitches. She looks worried, but you feel your body relax as soon as she’s here.

“How are you feeling?” she asks, frowning.

“Better. The nurse gave me some morphine. But I have to go to the hospital to make a scan”

She sighs and strokes your cheek tenderly, before the door of the room opens again, making her retract her hand like if your cheek was on fire.

You look at the nurse when she comes inside, followed by a man you haven’t seen before.

“Y/N if you are ready, we are too”

She nods towards the needles and compresses in the trail she just put on a table next to you, and you can’t help but make a grimace. You are totally not ready for it. You hate needles.

“It’s going to be okay” she says, putting her hand on your arm in a comforting gesture. “Maybe it’s better if you leave?”

She turns towards Steph who is still standing in the room and you put your eyes on her too, just in time to see her frowning gaze looking at the nurse’s gesture.

“Oh. Uh, sure. I just wanted to give Y/N her things”

She puts the bag she was holding until now on a chair and turns her heels to leave, but you don’t want her to. So, you call her, almost shyly.

“Can you stay with me and maybe hold my hand? Please?”

“Of course”

She doesn’t hesitate a single second before coming back near you, sitting on a second chair and grabbing your hand.

“Thanks” you breathe. “I hate needles”

“I didn’t know”

She tilts her head curiously towards you, and you shrug. It’s not really something you talk about during your first dates usually, until you are dating a nurse maybe. You look at the doctor who is preparing his things, totally ignoring you three. You are nervous, so much that Steph can feel the tension in your body.

“Look at me. Just concentrate yourself on me”

You take a deep breath and oblige, your eyes easily falling on her. She hasn’t taken a shower after the game; she’s still wearing her kit under her jacket. She still has her bun, and she looks effortlessly pretty, even after a game like this. If you were alone, you would have said to her how beautiful she is.

It seems that she understands really easily what you are thinking about though, because you see her cheeks becoming a little more red. It makes you smile and want to kiss her. It’s frustrating, but at least like this you kind of forget what is happening near your ankle.

“Finish” the doctor says before standing up. “Ellen here will come with you to the hospital, so you have a real follow-up. And I think one of the members of the Australian team will come too”

You don’t see Steph frowning at that. You nod looking at the doctor leaving the room and the nurse following to get everything needed.

“I’ll go take a shower and I’ll come to the hospital as soon as possible, okay?” Steph says softly.

You nod again and sigh, letting your head go against the pillow of the bed. You watch Steph when she stands to kiss you, making you smile.

“Thank you for coming”

“Of course” she smiles and kisses you one more time.

She gets up just in time, the nurse coming back with all she needs. She makes sure that you have everything you need before taking you to the ambulance for the hospital. You are already on crutches, and you had hoped not to have to take the ambulance, but it seems like it’s how things are done here.

A little bit dramatic in your opinion.

Ellen and Kate, your team nurse, talked your ears off during the journey to the hospital and are still doing it when you arrive in your assigned room. The team asked for one for you to be able to take a shower and you are really grateful for it.

“Do you need help?” Ellen asks.

“Uh. No, thank you” you mumble, feeling your cheeks getting a little red.

“Look at you, Casanova” Kate giggles. “Alanna wasn’t enough, you need someone else already?”

“Oh god” you sigh.

“Is Alanna your girlfriend?”

“No” you roll your eyes.

You let Kate explain the story behind it, ignoring the different laughs coming from it while texting your parents and the Matildas’ WhatsApp group. Then you write to Steph too.

From You Are you soon here? The Nurse proposed her help for my shower

From Pudding 💞 That is not funny

You don’t have any other answer from her, and you sigh softly before putting your phone on your bed. Time to shower. You take the fresh underwear that Steph packs you with a fresh shirt and shorts too. You are glad to avoid the shirt from the hospital though.

“If Alanna isn’t your girlfriend, you still can take my help” Ellen adds, apparently more seriously.

You hesitate a little about what to answer at that. She seems serious about her help, but still teasing-flirting a little bit too.

“I still have a girlfriend” you finally answer.

You don’t know if Steph will be happy with that, like you said you never put a label on your relationship. But at least Ellen will understand that you are not interested.

“Do you?” Kate asks you with a big surprise.

“Yes” you smirk. “But it’s very fresh and you are under professional secrecy so you can’t say anything to anyone”

“You have a girlfriend, and you make jokes about sleeping with someone else?” Ellen asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I… I’m not the one who started it” you try to defend yourself.

“She’s right” Kate has your back “The situation has somewhat escaped her”

Ellen hums, apparently not totally convinced about your answers, but you decide not to give too much importance. First because you have to take this shower before they come to take you for the scan. And second because you will probably not see her again and that you don’t really care about what she might think.

After the shower, you went for your scan with Kate, who walks you happily around the hospital in a wheelchair.

And when you are back in your room, you are happy to see Kyra and Steph waiting for you, sitting next to Ellen. Their hair are still wet from their shower.

“How are you feeling?” Steph asks.

“I’m okay” you shrug, passing from the wheelchair to the bed. “How was the end of the game?”

You already asked this to Kate when you left for the hospital, but you want to have your teammates’ opinion. The good news is that Australia won, even if it was a close one.

“I have to go” Ellen says after Kyra’s explanation. “Will you be okay there?”

“Yeah thanks” you smile politely at her.

“It was nice meeting you” Ellen squeezes your arm affectionately.

Your eyes cross Steph’s when she leaves the room, before looking at Kyra who seems to have the time of her life.

“Do you think I can eat something?” you ask Kate.

“Sure, I’ll go to the cafeteria to grab you a sandwich or something. Do you want something else?”

You shake your head and she gets up, imitated by Kyra who claims to be hungry too. You don’t know if it’s true or if she wants to leave you alone with Steph, but you are happy to be alone with her a little bit.

What you said earlier when it was only you with Kate and Ellen comes back in your mind and you wriggle a little bit on your bed.

“Why are you acting weird?”

“I’m not weird” you mumble without looking at her.

“Don’t you dare tell me she came to help you under the shower” she says sternly.

You wince at her tone but shakes your head, searching for her gaze this time. If you are weird, she seems tense. Like very tense. You don’t want to upset her, but it seems more important for you to tell the truth.

Steph had crossed her arms on her chest, still seated in the chair in front of your bed.

“It’s not that” you say, nervously passing your hand in your hair. “But I might said that I have a girlfriend to her”

Steph looks at you blankly for several seconds, so much that you start to think that she’s waiting for you to add something.

“How is that a problem?” Steph asks.

“Kate was here too”

“And… That’s all? You seem so uneasy because you told a girl who was hitting on you that you already have someone?”

She doesn’t seem annoyed anymore; you almost have the impression that she’s repressing a smile. And you don’t really understand what the hell is happening.

“We agreed to keep it hidden for several times and we never discussed about being girlfriend” you frown.

Steph is totally smiling now, finally leaving her chair to come sit in front of you on your bed. She was upset and now she seems… softened?

“I am glad that you put a stop to her flirting with that information” Steph grabs your hand while talking “And I know none of us asked the other officially, but I would love to make it a little bit more official. Not by saying it to everyone, but at least by putting a real word on our relationship.”

“So… If I, hypothetically, ask you to be my girlfriend, would you say yes?”

“Hypothetically, yes” she smirks

And she laughs when she sees you rolling your eyes. You are not mad at her for her teasing though, how could you when her laugh is the most beautiful thing ever? You decide to try one more time, a little bit more seriously this time.

“Stephanie-Elise Catley, would you please be my girlfriend?”

“I’d love to”

You have time to see her smile before she leans in your direction, and you finish the gesture to kiss her.

Steph Catley is your girlfriend.

You don’t know what you did to be so lucky, but the happiness you feel right now makes you pass your arms around her waist, and you take her with you when you let yourself fall on the bed.

She lets out a high short scream when you make her fall on you, but her lips are soon very occupied again.

Both of you are able to hear when the door of the room is open though and you turn your head, waiting to be facing Kyra. But it’s actually Kate, holding your scan in one hand and your sandwich in the other.

“Oh… New girlfriend. I see”

[munsonsmixtapes]

can you write soft!eddie with shy!reader? their dynamic would be so sweet!!

Family Video is completely empty when you enter it for your first shift. You pick at the skin around your nails as you approach the counter. A man is behind it typing something into the computer, a curtain of curls covering his face as he does so.

You want to speak to him, to tell him that it's your first day, but you just stand there, waiting for him to notice you. It's partly because he seems busy and partly because talking to new people has always been something you've struggled with. You get too shy or nervous or and you hate it, but it's not exactly easy to get over.

After a few minutes, he finishes up what he's doing and turns towards the front of the store, his eyes widening once they lock on you, a shocked yelp coming from his mouth which he tries his best to cover up by clearing his throat.

"Jesus," he says as he reaches up to clutch his chest, his other hand pressing against the top of the counter. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Not long," you reply, your voice barely audible. "I-I'm y/n," you tell him. "I'm the new hire." You look so nervous and Eddie thinks it's adorable, that you're adorable in your Family Video vest. God, he just wants to shrink you down and put you in his pocket so he can protect you from anything and everything.

"Right," he nods. Steve told him that someone new was starting to day, but he didn't think you'd be so pretty. "If you'll follow me, I'll show you to the back room." He comes out from behind the counter and leads you to the breakroom that also doubles as the place where you clock in and has a set of lockers where you can put your belongings.

He goes to open the door just as it's pushed open, Steve, the one who interviewed you and helped you through your training coming through it. He's wearing a Family Video vest while the stranger is not.

"Y/n," he smiles as he pushes the other man out of the way by his face. "So I see you've met Eddie, who really needs to put his vest on," he glares at Eddie who sighs and heads over to the counter to begrudgingly put his vest on.

"Now, let's get you clocked in and then we'll go from there, alright?" He asks and you follow him into the breakroom where you clock in then put your purse into your assigned locker.

Once you're all set, you exit the breakroom and find Steve behind the counter where Eddie is also standing. Steve waves you over and you go behind the counter to meet them.

"So, Eddie is going to show you how to do the register while I work on some paper work in the office. If you have any questions, just ask Eddie, alright?" You nod and Steve heads to the office, leaving you alone with Eddie.

You both stand there awkwardly and Eddie notices that your hands are shaking and god, does he want to take them in his and press kisses to them, doing whatever he can t get rid of your nervousness.

"Here," he says, hesitantly taking a step closer to you. "Why don't we take some deep breaths, hm?" He breaths in and and you mimic him, holding it until he lets it out and you follow. He doesn't even know you and he's doing what he can to make you feel better.

"Are you ready to start or do you need more time?" He asks and you nod, your shaking lessening ever so slightly.

"I'm ready," you nod and he smiles, showing you his teeth before turning to the register in front of the both of you. He shows you how to work it, being nothing but gentle as he does so, being sure to check in every once in a while between customers.

He was hesitant about having a new coworker, but now that you're here, he doesn't want to let you go. He's even excited to work with you. And after Steve locks up at the end of the night, Eddie insists on walking you to your car.

He's got his hand on the small of your back and to his surprise, you let him, feeling secure with him behind you, protecting you in the dark of night in the abandoned parking lot.

You like him, maybe more than you should considering the fact that you just met him, but he's been so kind and patient with you unlike other coworkers you've had. A lot of them didn't like how softspoken and shy you were, but Eddie understands and besides, your voice being so quiet only gives him more of an excuse to lean closer to hear you.

"Are you working tomorrow?" He asks and you just nod as you put your key into the ignition and start it up.

"Good," he nods. "I'll see you then, y/n. Drive safe, okay?" You wave and Eddie turns on his heel, running into Steve as he does so.

"You're sweet on her, huh?" Steve asks in a teasing tone as Eddie takes his keys out of his pocket as he heads to his van. Steve follows, wanting hear what he already knows the answer to.

"What makes you say that?" Eddie asks even though he totally is and he knows it's obvious.

"Nothing, just that you've been so nice to her, and not that you're not nice usually, but this is different."

"Bye, Steve," Eddie waves his hand in the air as he gets to his van, wanting to put the conversation to an end. He doesn't want to hear what Steve has to say and he most certainly doesn't want him in his business. Steve may be his friend, but Eddie doesn't talk to him about this kind of stuff and he's not gonna start now. Whatever's going to happen between the two of you is your business and your business alone, no matter how much Steve tries to butt in.

[pboogerswbb]

SO IT GOES - chapter 4

Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: language, sexual themes and language, hoops written by lila... Wordcount: 5K A/C: and by tomorrow i meant now hehe, anyways - uh... I WROTE HOOPS INTO THIS so be nice to me. please. something about it is soo intimidating to me so if it makes zero sense that's not on me at least it makes sense in my head. UH ANYWAY send your thoughts and feedback i'm nervous abt this one haha go read

-

Before London

“One more girls, c’mon, sell it!” Koclanes’ voice echoes around College Park Center, joined with the squeaking of our sneakers against the floor. I glance at Arike who throws her head back in frustration, mumbling to herself, mirroring exactly how I felt deep inside. We had been working on this same play for what felt like at least an hour, running the drill repeatedly. The muscles in my thighs ache as I roll my fatigued shoulders, walking to mid-court, too tired to jog. According to Chris we weren’t convincing enough. So here we go again.

I advance the ball upcourt with practiced ease, the ball bouncing in a steady rhythm against the hardwood. For the 15th time today my eyes follow Arike, as she backs into the weak-side corner, positioning herself beyond the arc. I slow down my pace, threading the ball through my legs, face to face with the defense. My eyes stay sharp, focused, glancing into the corner. She’s ready.

Suddenly I dribble forward into the paint, not to shoot but to pass to Arike, whose knees bent, hands up, ready for me in the corner. The defense makes a quick read of my actions, drawing out players to defend the perimeter. I sell it, my eyes locked on Arike, when Satou cuts to the basket at the correct time, and without looking, I deliver the final deceptive blow. Anticipating Satou’s movements and the little I can see from my peripheral vision, I pull off the no-look through the legs, the ball effectively landing in Satou’s hands who finishes the play with a smooth drive to the basket. Like we had done about a zillion times already this afternoon.

No one celebrates, it was much too early to. Instead, we all turn to Koclanes in anticipation. He looks at us, rubbing his jaw with a straight face - until his mouth twists into a grin.

“You sold it! You sold it guys!”

Simultaneously, me and Arike let out relieved sighs as the team on the bench cheers, clapping their hands together. Satou comes up from behind me and squeezes my shoulder. 

“About time huh?” She groans as we all walk towards the benches, each taking turns to high five our coach. Chris checks the watch on his wrist, audibly gasping.

“Yikes! What crazy man let practice run this late?” He jokes, causing the crowd of girls to laugh, me included. I feel his hand tap on my shoulder, my head snapping to him.

“Good job Paige,” he smiles. 

“Thanks coach,” I grin, throwing my head back to chug some water, still not having adjusted to the difference in praise, Geno’s often few and far between. My blue eyes scan the seats in the crowd. There she is, Izzie, eyes twinkling, book snug in her armpit as she claps and begins to make her way down. In the past couple weeks me and the dark haired girl had found a new routine. Each morning we met downstairs, and I drove her to work, and in the evenings she sat courtside, working or reading her books, waiting for me. It felt easy, effortless and in the meantime I had gotten to know her even better.

I knew she was in a bad mood in the mornings, often unwilling to engage with my overflowing energy before she had a coffee in her hands. Which she preferred to drink black, but on special occasions enjoyed an oat milk latte. She wasn’t picky about it though - ready to finish whatever sugary coffee concoction I had ordered just for the caffeine if I offered.  She liked to hum quietly along to songs, but was embarrassed if I acknowledged her singing. She kicked her heels off the moment she entered her apartment. She knew ball, like really knew ball but was hesitant to discuss the sport with me - which let me know she didn’t like to be wrong, afraid I might call her out for a bad take.

She was nurturing, oftentimes climbing into my car with homemade breakfast after she found out about my recent poptart habit, my old healthy routines too disrupted by the recent move to Dallas. She covered her mouth when she laughed. Her face scrunched ever so slightly when I said something out of pocket. I had found out that her favourite movie was Lady and The Tramp and Paris was her favourite city in the world - she even spoke a little French. I had also found out that there was nothing I could do to shake the crush I had on her, so for the first time ever, I just let it be. We had become friends, and I was glad. Although my teammates were less believing of this, Arike and Lou pointing out repeatedly how red my face turned when the media producer was brought up.

“That pass was incredible! I’m so excited to see all that in action,” Izzie gleams, approaching me and Arike. Her praise makes my stomach twist in knots, a bashful smile growing on my face. Our first game was approaching much faster than I could’ve ever anticipated, now only a little more than a week to go. 

We weren't… great. But I had quickly learned to work with Arike, though she still struggled to remember that she had another teammate to rely on - someone to pass to instead of driving through four defenders for a bucket. To my relief, me and Satou had found a groove even quicker, the time we had spent finessing the pick-and-rolls and high-low action already showing.

”I think she’s just wantin’ to show out,” Arike grins, winking at me, like Izara wasn’t standing right in front of us.

”Nothing new about that,” Iz laughs.

”Alright enough,” I chuckle, wiping the sweat off my forehead on the damp towel in my hands. I watch as Rike’s face lights up, a wide grin spreading on her face as she jogs off to greet Lala, her fiance, walking over from the side entrance.

”Hey baby,” Lala smiles, kissing the younger woman carefully, not wanting to get sweat on herself. ”Tell me y’all are done, I’ve been waiting in that car for an hour.”

”Nahh don’t blame Rike, that’s my bad,” I smile, leaning over to greet her with a polite hug. 

”You’re our child you could do nothin’ wrong,” Lala says affectionately. Ever since I moved the couple had made sure I was okay, that I didn’t feel alone. Problem was, I was terrible at expressing my emotions, so of course I never told anyone how badly I was struggling. Though that feeling was mostly gone now. Dallas was starting to feel like home, slowly but surely.

For a while all four of us stand there, the pair watching me expectantly. Realising too late what I was supposed to do, Arike starts.

”Baby this is Zari, she’s our new media girl, Zari this is Lala, my fiance.”

Oh right. It probably would’ve given me some points in Izara’s books if I had been the one to introduce her.

”Hello, it’s lovely to meet you!” The brit gleams, shaking Lala’s hand.

”Ohhh she’s British huh? I love your skirt girl,” Lala says with her usual warmth. She wasn’t wrong - the champagne coloured satin skirt flowing to Izzie’s calves, accentuating the natural curve of her waist. My mind quickly swirls out of control, the memory of her in the lululemon set still fresh in my mind for I had reminisced in it many times ever since our little workout. The way her body looked, how badly my hand wanted to travel all the way down her back, how soft the skin of her ass would feel under my grip, what it would look like when I knead it - I’ve got to stop. We’re friends. I’m happy to be friends. That’s it.

”Oh thank you! Your nails are gorgeous,” Izzie answers, admiring the long acrylics. Lala wiggles her decorated hands for Izzie, making her gasp.

”And that ring, my goodness,” she coos, taking hold of the other woman’s hands gently to admire the diamond on Lala’s ring finger closer. ”That is the size of my head.”

”Well you know me, only the best for the wife,” Rike joins in, smirking proudly. The couple turn to each other smiling, sharing a few gentle pecks. My blue eyes glance at Izara, only to find her already watching me. For a second our eyes meet, till she looks down to the floor, turning to look for something in her bag. 

”You coming to the party right?” Rike asks, elbowing me. The couple had just moved to a new apartment and wanted to host some of their friends and team for a last-minute housewarming party.

”Wouldn’t miss it,” I answer. But Lala’s eyes are fixed on Iz, still roaming through her bag.

”Zari, you got plans this weekend?” She asks kindly.

”Work, rest, gym, more work,” the girl chuckles, finally placing her purse on her shoulder. I wanna reach over and fix the hair stuck underneath the strap, but before I can, she does it herself.

”Well you should come too!” Lala suggests, glancing at her fiance.

Arike grins, eyes flickering between me and Izara. ”You should, Paige would like it if you came for sure.”

Jesus. Attempting to resist rolling my eyes, I close them, letting out a heavy exhale which makes Rike chuckle to herself. Lala shuts her up, elbowing her fiance’s side. God bless that woman.

”We would like it too. Dallas can get lonely if you don’t have good people around you,” she says to Iz softly.

The girl's green eyes flicker from Lala to me, back to Lala until she nods. ”Okay. I think I could make time, thank you for the invitation.”

”No problem girl,” Lala smiles, glancing at me and Arike. ”You two go shower so us girls can get out of here.”

”Yes ma’am,” Rike grins, grabbing her towel and water bottle ready to head out. 

”I’mma be quick,” I tell Izzie, my voice softening exponentially as I talk to her. She smiles, her hand grabbing my forearm gently as she speaks.

”I’ll wait here.”

”I’ll keep her company,” Lala hums, sitting down courtside, tapping the seat next to her for Izara.

I leave the two girls on their own, skin of my forearm on fire still from the simplest touch.

-

Mum ❤️ Jasper called, said he’s been trying to reach you. Have you gotten his calls? Please call him.

I read the text over and over as it lights up my phone screen, disturbing me from the post schedule I’d been working on for the past hour. For others Friday nights meant cocktails and late nights and unwinding. For me it meant finishing this week’s work and an episode of Love Island before going to bed at 9:30 PM sharp. So here I am, in my satin pajamas, hair up in a bun, scheduling one post after another for the weekend.

Groaning, I grab my phone preparing to send a strongly worded text to Jasper to stop being in contact with my mother - but I’m interrupted by urgent knocks on my front door. I check the time. 8:30 PM. Why would someone be needing me at this hour?

I tiptoe across the short corridor straight to my front door, unlocking it carefully. It’s Paige.

Suddenly I’m painfully aware of my appearance, of how short the navy blue satin shorts are on my long legs, how the strap of the matching flowy top is hanging off my shoulder. Swiftly, I pull the strand back up, taking my hair down and running my hand through it before I even make eye contact with the blonde.

“Hey Paige, you okay?” 

Her blue eyes roam up and down my body, making me cross my arms over my chest. I didn’t like people seeing me like this, when I wasn’t prepared. When I wasn’t in control of how I was being viewed.

“You goin’ to sleep?” Paige asks, a hint of a smirk on her face. “It’s like 8.”

“8:30,” I correct, watching as she leans against my door frame. 

“It’s Friday night Iz,” the blonde chuckles. I run my hand through the ends of my dark hair again, feeling bashful under her intense gaze.

“I’ve got work to do,” I explain. “Did you need something love?”

Paige lets out a dramatic groan and throws her head back. 

“I’m boreeeeeeeed,” she moans theatrically, pouting at me. I feel a slight flutter in my chest when her pleading eyes meet mine.

“Go to sleep Paige,” I chuckle, ready to close the door but her strong grip holds it open.

“You wanna watch a movie or something?”

I rub my forehead, thinking of all the work that would be piled up if I didn’t do it today. But her offer was tempting, getting to just sit on the couch and watch TV sounded like heaven. And to get to spend time with a friend. No, I should work. Especially if I wanted to go to Lala’s and Arike’s tomorrow.

“Paige, I really should be working,” I tell her more seriously now.

The blonde sighs, shifting on her feet, eyes locked in mine.

“C’mon Izzie, take a break with me,” she murmurs, the taller girl’s hand coming over and stroking my arm quickly. Goosebumps rise on my skin, her fingertips cold on my warm skin. “Please. Just this once.”

My head feels dizzy suddenly, skin burning. I must turn the AC up. Still, the way Paige’s eyes are begging me for company, the whine in her voice only convincing me further. Fuck. Fine.

“Come in,” I sigh, stepping out of the way. With a smug grin she walks in, pleased she got me to bend to her will.

“But, only for a little. I need to finish work before I go to bed.”

“You got it,” the blonde smirks, taking off her shoes before I can even ask. Her hair is damp, curling just a little in its natural state, and her sweats are hanging low on her waist, sagging.

“Have you eaten?” I ask, my need to nurture the blonde taking over once again.

“I have ma,” Paige coos, following me into my apartment. I can feel her eyes boring into me when I grimace at the nickname.

“What did you call me?” I giggle, planting myself on the couch, my shorts hiking up further as I sit. Paige’s cheeks flush red, and she scratches the back of her neck.

“Uhh, my bad, old habit,” she murmurs, chuckling awkwardly. “You don’t like it?”

I furrow my brows, watching her sit on the opposite corner of the couch, legs spread wide as she does. “What kind of nickname is that anyway?” I laugh, not having heard it before.

Paige lets out a single laugh and shrugs. “I dunno, just something we say here I guess.”

Biting her lower lip as she watches me, the blonde lets out a heavy exhale, eager to change the topic. 

“You want a milkshake? I’m craving one bad,” Paige asks, grabbing her phone and scrolling through Uber Eats.

I shake my head, watching her closely. Her long fingers making the phone look small in her big hand.

“No, I shouldn’t,” I say. “I don’t like having sugar in the evenings.”

Paige’s eyes flicker from her phone to me, back to her phone. The blonde’s brows raise as she smiles. “I’m sayin’ this with no disrespect. You need to learn to relax.”

I scoff. “I know how to relax. After work I was going to make a cup of tea and watch Love Island before bed.”

“Prove it, get a milkshake with me,” she dares. I think for a while, perhaps once couldn’t hurt. And I had a feeling she would keep whining until I said yes, which would mean she’d stay for longer - which would mean I wouldn’t finish my work.

“Don’t make me get one alone, please.”

Finally, I fold, Paige nodding her head to signal me over to her corner of the couch. I scooch along the seat, closing the distance to peep at the blonde’s phone screen. I settle next to her, pressing gently against her side, my thigh nestling onto hers. I hear Paige’s breath grow shallow, her arm resting on the back of the couch, bare skin of her forearm grazing against my upper back. Suddenly, I feel my mind spinning, but I clear my throat, trying to ignore it, or the way my side tingles against her.

“Whatchu want Iz?” Paige’s voice is breathy and hoarse, her face turning to me. I meet her gaze, my heart pounding when I realise how close she is, only a few inches away.

“Whatever you’re having is fine,” I reply, and my voice is… shaking? I’m not entirely sure why, but it’s enough to make my cheeks flush pink.

The blonde’s tongue darts out to lick her lower lip, making it glisten in the soft light of my living room. 

“Why don’t we get two different ones and we can share, yeah?”

I nod, my lips parted, Paige’s warm, minty breath grazing my face. Despite the little clothing I was wearing, I felt heat spread everywhere, making me burn up, forcing my chest to heave. 

“Uh, I’m going to turn up the AC,” I mumble, abruptly getting up, focusing on each step as to not mess them up - my mind spinning and swirling with something I didn’t understand. Fiddling with the AC I rub my own shoulders, trying to massage the tension away. It wasn’t helping.

Suddenly I feel warm, sure hands touching my back, moving upwards to my shoulder blades and digging into my skin. 

“You okay?” Paige asks, her voice still deep as she stands behind me and works my muscles gently. 

“Mm, yeah, just… tense,” I murmur, feeling every cell in my body wanting to melt away under her touch. Something I hadn’t felt in months, no, years.

“I told you,” Paige begins, her hands inching downwards to my lower back, kneading the skin there. “I’m right upstairs, if you need to relax.”

I let out a soft exhale, as we stand there, my eyes fluttering shut. “Well you’re here now,” I hum.

“I am,” the blonde whispers, hands sneaking even lower, to the hemline of my top, fingertips sneaking underneath ever so slightly. I bite my lip to hold in the shaky breath threatening to spill from my lips when her cool fingers massage the exposed skin. A heat spreads in my lower abdomen, making it hard to stand all of a sudden.

Suddenly, a buzz blares through the intercom, shaking us both out of the moment. Paige’s hands pull away abruptly as I take a breath to compose myself, allowing the loud buzzing to continue.

“Uh, must be the delivery guy,” Paige murmurs, reaching over my shoulder to let them in. I try to find my voice, something to say, but words seem to get stuck so I stay quiet, too absorbed by the heat roaming my stomach and thighs.

-

I had never seen Love Island before, and honestly, even after Izzie tried to explain, I still had no idea what was going on. All I could think about is how close I had been to leaning down and pressing soft, wet kisses on the back of her neck as I stood behind her in the corridor. To feel even more of her soft, tender skin by pulling that skimpy, flowy top off. To snake my arms around her waist and drag my hand down her stomach into her tiny shorts, my fingers hooking on her panties and pulling them to the side. I bet she’d be soaked at that point. But I’d take my time, rub slow circles on her clit till-

“So how is it?” Iz asks, curled up against the opposite corner of the couch. She’s sipping on the peanut butter cup milkshake carefully, eyeing the strawberry one in my hands, resting on my lap. Ever since she’d opened that front door I had been fighting not to ogle over her long, bare legs, her brown skin glowing from her post shower moisturiser, which smelled like rich vanilla. 

“It’s good, y’wanna try?” I offer, shaking the cup in my lap. With a coy smile, she crawls over, her hair falling over her shoulder. I watch, my need for relief between my thighs growing overwhelmingly.

The dark haired girl presses to my side as I hold the cup up, my gaze following closely when her plump, moisturized lips wrap around the straw. Her cheeks hollow as she sucks, eyes fluttering shut. It’s like slow motion, the way it happens. And when her lids blink open again and she pulls away from the straw, our gazes lock. It’s enough for me to squirm and press my thighs together, feeling my core aching for something more.

“You like?” I ask, voice gentle. She nods, a small smile on her lips.

“I prefer that one.”

That instant, I grab the peanut butter shake from her, handing the girl the strawberry one.

“Wait, which one do you prefer?” She asks, chuckling a little.

“This one,” I answer confidently, lying as I sip on the peanut butter one. It’s enough to convince her. I watch Izzie pull a blanket over her legs, making me feel just the tiniest bit disappointed when they disappear from my view. However, she doesn’t move away, staying pressed against my side.

“Oh, sorry, did you want some?”

“Uh what?” I ask, discombobulated.

“Blanket, dummy,” she giggles, reaching over to place some over my legs.

“Sure,” I murmur, the idea of being under the same blanket with her making my head spin.

We sit next to each other, our thighs pressing together as we sip on our milkshakes, eyes focused on the tv. Or hers are. Mine keep fluttering back to her side profile, her dark, long eyelashes and the sharp tip of her nose.

“I can’t finish this,” Iz complains unsurprisingly considering the times I had heard her complain about the size of portions here in the States.

“No?” I ask, my shake already long gone.

“No,” the girl yawns and hands it to me, and in a silent exchange I grab it and finish it for her. Much like she did with my coffees in the mornings.

Just as the show begins to get interesting (though I still had no idea what the premise was), after about ten minutes or so, I feel Izara’s head tip against my shoulder. Heart beginning to pound once more, I glance down and notice that the girl’s eyes are shut. She must be asleep.

For a moment I just look at her, feeling the flutters grow in my stomach when she stirs slightly as I shift into a more comfortable position. Praying to God she stays asleep, I turn off the TV and make sure her bare feet are covered by the blanket, wrapping my arm around the back of the couch and pulling her close. Fighting the urge to lean down and press my nose against her hair, I grab my phone and scroll. We stay like that for at least 30 minutes, until my eyes begin to grow heavy too, my head nodding to the side and resting on top of hers as I drift to sleep.

-

The rays of the early morning sun penetrate through the blinds, the ache in my neck stirring me awake. I feel a weight on the left side of my body, my eyes batting open trying to focus on my surroundings. A living room that’s much like mine, yet the white lilies on the table tell me I’m not home.

“Mmhm,” a content hum makes my eyes flicker to my chest, where Izara is resting her head, arm draped over my waist, fast asleep. Suddenly the memory of her passed out in my arms from last night resurfaces. I must have fallen asleep too.

My arm is wrapped around her too, tingling as it begins falling asleep underneath the girl. There’s a certain softness to Izzie’s face that’s completely new to me. I begin to carefully pull my arm back, however it’s enough to cause the dark haired girl’s eyes to flutter open.

I watch closely as she goes through the same motions I had just a moment ago, until her green eyes land on me, head tilting upwards.. The moment she comes to a realisation about the way her arm and leg are draped over my body, a deep blush sets on her face.

“Shit, did we fall asleep?” Izzie asks, voice gravelly with sleep.

I rub my eyes, my hand holding her close and beginning to rub her lower back comfortingly - almost like out of a habit I hadn’t had the chance to build yet. 

“We did,” I chuckle lightheartedly.

“Is it morning?” She asks, glancing at the sun rays shining in.

I check my phone. It’s 8:30 AM. 

“Kinda,” I yawn, shutting my eyes again knowing neither of us had work or any reason to get up soon either way. Though Izara seems to disagree.

She sits up abruptly, burying her face in her hand. I bite my cheek, trying not to groan at the loss of the comforting weight of the girl on me.

“Fuck, I was supposed to get up an hour ago,” Iz groans.

“At 7:30? It’s Saturday Iz,” I laugh, but quickly realise she’s genuinely stressed.

“I didn’t even finish the scheduling last night!” She gasps in realisation, bringing her hand to her shoulders to massage the tension away. I sit up, replacing her hand with mine in an attempt to calm her down but she stands up, avoiding my touch. 

“I knew this would happen if you came over Paige, that’s why I tried to say no! I have a job to do.”

It doesn’t bother me. What she’s saying. Because I can tell she’s not mad at me, really. She’s tense, she needs to relax.

“Iz,” I stop her rambling, standing up and wrapping my arms tightly around her, squeezing. It’s something my dad used to do, when I’d have anxiety or a meltdown as a child. The girl doesn’t fight me, but her breathing is shallow, tense as she stands still in my arms.

“Breathe with me,” I murmur softly, taking my time inhaling, and even more so when exhaling. Izara matches my breathing, and eventually, I feel the tenseness melt away from her body, which begins to mold into mine. I feel the girl’s hands wrap around my waist, her head resting against my chest again. It feels like heaven. I realise it’s the first time we’ve hugged.

“You okay?” I ask after a while, pulling my head back to look at the girl. That slight softness, reminiscent of how she looked while asleep returns to her face.

“Yeah, I’m sorry for getting like that,” she whispers, meeting my gaze. I shake my head.

“Don’t worry ma,” I murmur, which makes her giggle.

“I’m not so sure about that nickname,” she laughs infectiously, making me laugh too.

“Forreal? Girls usually like it,” I grin, making her break into giggles. Never unwrapping my arms, I walk her backwards to the couch, letting go to sit the girl down. Her green eyes look up at me, confused.

“Now you’re gonna sit down, and I’m gon’ make some coffee for you.”

“But what about wo-”

“It can wait, it’s the weekend. You got time. Now lie down, chill, and wait.”

“But you don’t know how to use my french press.”

“I’ll figure it out. Sit, please Iz.”

With a sigh she gives up, curling up against the corner of the couch and pulling a blanket over herself. Pride spreads over me for getting the girl to relax. All because of my efforts.

I make my way into her tidy kitchen, hands desperately googling for instructions on how to work the french press sitting on the counter. Following the video I found carefully, I leave the coffee to brew while opening the fridge, each shell organised perfectly. Ignoring Izara’s plans for blueberry oatmeal written on the chalkboard, I grab some peppers, cherry tomatoes and zucchini, carefully chopping them up the way the dark haired girl taught me to - by holding the tip of the knife against the board.

I fry the vegetables, adding in a mix of eggs and milk and scrambling it all together until done. Rummaging through the cabinets I find plates and mugs, setting everything up for the both of us, making sure to give the bigger portion to Izara.

She’s lying down on the couch, nose already buried in a book as I set everything down on the coffee table. The dark haired girl puts her book down, eyes widening. Shit, maybe I shouldn’t have cooked.

“Uh, I made breakfast too, is that ok?” I ask, suddenly unsure.

She’s looking back and forth from the food to me. I chew on my lower lip to hide the nervousness.

“That’s… really sweet Paige,” she hums genuinely, reaching for her coffee and sipping on it. Relief washes over me, and I sit next to her. There’s something unfamiliar in her expression, something I can’t quite read.

“Well taste it first, thank me later,” I chuckle, handing Iz her plate. The girl’s lips wrap around the fork, and she smiles contentedly. 

“This is delicious,” she smiles, taking another bite and turning to me. “Thank you,” Izzie murmurs, her hand squeezing my thigh affectionately. At that moment I decide no amount of praise by her would ever be enough. That I would continue to strive to get more as long as I could. I had no other choice.

-

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[intuitively-her]

This reading is going to be a collab with @icanseethefuture333 so make sure to check out her post as well! 🫶🏽🥰

You need to try things that are outside of your comfort zone. Take a different approach with your work. Save your money! I feel like y'all have a tendency to go out and spend your money when you know you should be saving. It's time for a renewal. Get rid of old patterns and behaviors so that new opportunities can come in for you. A long-awaited opportunity may present itself to you, however you need to make sure that you approach and handle it in a balanced manner. You have the potential to obtain long-term wealth, but you need to tap into your skills, talents, and resources to help you get there. Things could look so much different for you, but you're holding yourself back by not taking control.

⭐Angel Answers: You're ready, Abundance, No need to worry, No

You need to invest your money in either stocks or a "piggy bank".💴 This is making me think of those money-saving books from tiktok. Your hard work and dedication will pay off, but you need to remember to also focus on your personal growth and commitments along the way. Don't get lost in the sauce. You're on the right path to achieving your material goals, just make sure that you remain practical with your decision-making.

⭐Angel Answers: No need to worry, Get more information

You need to take a step back and re-evaluate your priorities. This shift that has suddenly occurred in your life is necessary. It's time to gain a new perspective. It would really benefit you to work with others at this time. You need to seek help/guidance from someone that has more experience than you. Take notes. 📝 It would make your work much easier for you. Someone here could be thinking about exploring other career options. This will be good for you! For someone specific, traveling and exploring your options in a new state/city would be helpful for you.

⭐Angel Answers: Romance, Yes, Trust, Get more information

This is the perfect time to start a new business venture/project. Take advantage of the opportunities that you have around you at this time. Tap into your inner-child and explore your creative efforts. You bring a lot to the table. Continue your efforts and hard work. You're almost there! The harder you work, the greater the reward will be.💰Use your wisdom and intellect to navigate at this time. Make decisions based on logic rather than your personal feelings. You also need to be more frugal at this time.

⭐Angel Answers: Don't stop, There's something better, Abundance, Yes

*ONLY TAKE WHAT RESONATES*

🤍Please DO NOT copy, repost, or steal my work. Thanks!🤍

Masterlist

Paid readings

[californium98]

What We Need

Captor x reader

Warnings: noncon, spanking, oral (f receiving) , whipping, abûse, emotional abûse, kidnapping, captivity, angst

Word count: 1.9K

“I think both of us know what you need.”

He swallowed thickly, his breath against your forehead as he spoke. He had you pinned, your wrists twisted together so tightly in his grasp that you were afraid you might bruise.

You looked past him, the rain storm going on outside raged. Both of you were soaked to the bone. You were to blame. This would be escape attempt number four in the past month.

“I didn’t mean to…”

You trailed off. His breath grew rugged, his suppressed anger building inside him. He hated when you did this. He hated when you feigned your innocence. He hated when you cowered under him, begging him to be merciful as if you didn’t regularly try to kill or maim him.

He could only really blame himself. Each time, he’d take you over his lap and give you five swats just to get it over with. After which, he’d swaddle you with affection, assuring you that you didn’t know any better. He figured this constant infantilization would put you in your place.

You didn’t let the reductive language make you pliant. Instead, in the midst of his growing impatience, you used it to make sure he didn’t actually hurt you. It would work every single time.

“Is it going to be a spanking?”

You looked at him, large eyes brimming with fake tears.

His mounting anger briefly seemed to dissipate.

He ceased his rugged breathing with one final shaky exhale before roughly knotting a hand in your hair.

“You’re a good girl that hasn’t had good discipline. That’s all. Let me show you just how much I love you.”

His tone was low, caring, and laced with guilt.

“You made me do this.”

With a hand still twisted around a lock of your hair and the other gripping onto your shoulder, he led into your shared bedroom. You tried backing up in the other direction but his hard body stayed behind you and his steps persisted. His heavy boots created loud footfalls that resounded in the hall like some sort of death march.

“Please—I don’t understand… I’m sorry.”

By the time you reached the bedroom, you were screaming and crying, repeating your pleas like a mantra to an unforgiving god. He didn’t even look at you, his face completely stoic.

His fingers unfurled from your hair and you immediately turned around, embracing him.

“I know, baby. This hurts me too.”

He spoke into your hair, gingerly planting a kiss on your forehead before gently prying your hands away from his body.

You clawed at him, desperate to be close to your captor.

You hugged him again, attaching yourself to him like Velcro.

“Are you finally regretting your actions now? Are you ready to be good?”

That same infantilizing tone returned, but this time you welcomed it. You nodded into his chest.

“Good, so that means you’re going to take your punishment like good girls do.”

He pulled you off of him, physically holding you away from his body. Insultingly enough, he only needed to use one of his hands. With the other, he undid his belt, the sound of the buckle being undone rang in your ears. Your heart rate skyrocketed.

“Ten with the buckle and twenty with the leather. How many does that make, hun?” He crooned.

This was new. Taunting. Regardless of his flippant tone, you knew he expected an answer. A switch flipped in you. The tension left your body and your form slackened. Your shoulders still shook and tears still streamed down your face, but your body gave up. The fight left you and you resigned to your fate.

“Thirty.” You said, defeated.

He hummed his response and hooked a hand under your arm, dragging you over the edge of the bed.

He folded the belt, positioning it so that the buckle was at the bight of the loop. You waited for the impact, but it didn’t come. Instead, he bent over you draping his large form over your body.

“I know you can be good, but you chose this.”

He gritted. The hurt in his voice was crushingly genuine.

“I’m going to hurt you very badly, baby. You need to know that how badly this hurts you is how badly I love you. You continue to misunderstand me on purpose. I treat you so…”

His voice faltered.

“I treat you so gently, even when you’re bad. I hold back, but my love for you is forceful and extremely painful for me to endure especially when you continue to reject me like this. So, you need to feel it. You need to feel how bad this is for me. You need to—”

He cut him self off, shoving you further into the mattress. You barely had time to react before his belt came down on your backside, the buckle bruising your thigh. Pain irradiated through you. Instinctively you shot up off the mattress only to immediately be pushed down again.

“You just need to give in…”

He continued, his tone sickeningly soft.

The belt came down on you again. You wailed, hands flying to your backside in an attempt to shield yourself from any more of this hurt.

“Move your hands.” He chided. “Move your hands or I tie them to the bedposts.”

Your hands came away from your sore bottom and gripped the bedsheets for some semblance of comfort.

Another hit with the belt buckle and you were falling apart, letting go of the slightest bit of dignity you had left. You were begging, making promises that you weren’t sure you could fulfill, promising your submission and obedience to him if he just stopped. He didn’t raise his voice at all, but his words could still be heard above your cries. The register of his tone settling in the very depths of your soul. Even in the midst of inflicting so much pain, his words were gentle.

“You’ll learn.” He repeated. “You’ll learn to be a good girl for me.”

He was half speaking to you, half assuring himself that on the other side of all of this will be his perfect, loving, submissive captive.

Between the remaining seven strikes with the buckle, your legs shook and you’d twist around, hoping to relieve your body’s mounting discomfort.

“I know it hurts,” he’d say before he put you back into position. “The hard part is almost over.”

When the ten strikes with the buckle were over, he stood you up. Your body couldn’t help but shake. You were helpless and pathetic looking, the way he liked you, except this time you weren’t faking it. He saw that. In his eyes, he longed to scoop you up, give you a bath and hold you for the rest of the night, hoping that in the morning, you’d be a changed woman. His work wasn’t over, though.

“I said thirty and I’m a man of my word, sweetheart.”

He sighed, not meeting your pleading eyes. You ceaselessly whined at him. He indulged you a little bit by letting you cling onto him for a while. The moment was short lived. Once again, the warmth of his body left you and your arm was roughly bent behind your back until you yielded.

The leather was no better than the buckle. Your ass was numb at this point, but the initial crack of the belt against your bruises and welts left a persistent burning, stinging sensation. Your body physically could not be any more in pain.

There was a point when twisting away created more discomfort than being still and taking it, so that’s exactly what you did. He was speaking to you between strikes but you couldn’t hear him. You weren’t sure if it was because your brain couldn’t comprehend anything or if it was because he was mumbling pointless words to comfort you.

“It hurts me this much when you don’t love me.”

Crack!

“It hurts me this much when you reject me.”

Crack!

“It hurts me this much when you tell me you hate me.”

Crack!

He dropped the belt with a sigh, sounding emotionally spent.

You didn’t move, sobbing into the sheets for a while. He lifted you up, cradling you. The tears in your eyes blinded you and even if you could look him in the eye, it might be too much for you to see him look down at you with that pitiful frown.

He set you down and turned away, so you thought he might leave you alone for at least a moment. You willed your broken body to start dressing yourself. He turned around suddenly, taking your underwear out of your hands and lifting you back up onto the bed.

You tried to form your mouth around the word “no” but you found that you couldn’t. Whether it was because of the fear in your chest or the lump in your throat, you don’t know. All you knew is that you just couldn’t bring yourself to reject his advance, which is probably for the best. Something about the rigid way he held his body over you told you that a word like that might send him off the deep end.

He laid you down gingerly. He fell to his knees with a thud before putting your legs over his shoulders. The way he moved you put friction on your bruises and fresh broken skin. You groaned in pain.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I know, baby. I’ll make it go away.”

He whispered, his lips close to your inner thigh. He started with small kisses on your thighs, then he migrated to where he really wanted to be.

He dipped his tongue into your folds, slipping it against your clit before pushing it inside you. His tongue explored your entrance for a moment, teasing you. You lifted your legs a bit more to give him better access, but he held your thighs in place.

“No, baby. When you lift your legs like that I can see all the evidence of your disobedience. The marks you made me give you make me sick. It’s shameful and I don’t want to see it.”

He was still stern, but his breath shuttered as he spoke. It ignited something in you for the briefest moment, but when you looked down at him, even on his knees, he looked dangerous. His eyes bore into you, holding your eye contact while he began tonguing you once again.

You obeyed, not even flinching when he dug his nails into your thighs. He toyed with your clit, pushing his mouth flush against you.

You arched your back, feeling the end approaching. You bit your lip hard, trying to stop yourself.

“I thought we were past this. You holding on to your pride and dignity is just going to make me bend you over again.”

This was enough to both set you straight and send you over the edge. Euphoria flooded through you and so did shame. Your orgasm rippled through your body, causing your legs to shake even more than they already were.

There was a pounding in your head. Experiencing that much pleasure and pain all within the hour was too much for you to take. Your afterglow was short lived and the pain once again returned. Tears streamed down your face. You just wanted a nap. It’s that quiet, pliant, confused, dazed state that he wants. He didn’t realize how much he needed you like this until he had it.

He’s now your only source of comfort, discipline, direction, entertainment, and affection. Anything a person could be, he became.

“Aw, you’re so spent, baby. I think it’s bedtime for you…you can make things up to me in the morning.”

[strwbabydoll]

The Feeling Came Late (I’m Still Glad I Met You)

Chapter Four: To Kiss in Cars and Downtown Bars

pairings: grumpy!college student!Harry x fem! sunshine!reader

chapter summary: No matter how frustrated she gets, she just can’t give up on the hope that she can change him, help him. Her best friend offers her a distraction to keep her mind fresh and off of the stress of tutoring him, the bar is just the perfect way to do that. After several shots, she falls into the arms of the one person she didn't want to see tonight, and just their luck he has to be the one to take care of her for the night. What better way to end the night than with a mistake that might just change everything as much as he hates it.

series summary: Harry hates Y/N, it seems like it's been like that forever. He's quick to insult and correct her even when she's right, he's just always been the only one to pick on her no matter what she does. She doesn't understand why it's like this between them or what she did to make him dislike her so much, but what if it's all just a lie?

overall warnings: slow burn, eventual smut, sexual tension, kind of enemies to lovers, angst, alcohol consumption and drug mentions, foul language, Harry is a major asshole in this tbh, heavy on the grumpy x sunshine in this.

chapter 4/? (wc: 6.7k)

001 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

- - - - -

She knew logically there was no reason for her to be upset, especially not about something so small and more than likely had nothing to do with her. He was just being him, he was in a mood and just didn't want to be there. Deep down she wanted everything to go differently, she wanted to see if there was a chance he could maybe not like her a little less, he might crack a smile or at least talk! 

The whole time he was silent aside from the hums and grunts he would answer with that she had a hard time deciphering. She had to fight back a smile every time they made eye contact but the small moment was ruined when he'd look away and huff. 

The following days after their study session seemed to drag on for Y/N. The days' they go to school haven't changed, she tries to approach him to discuss when to meet next or to ask him if he has any questions, and he ignores her. He'll carry on with his conversation as if she's not standing right there and she's left to walk away with her head held down and a sad smile on her lips. 

So she stopped trying, she stopped texting him about the worksheets he has, she stopped trying to talk to him in between classes, she hated the way he treated her and she's tired. She figures that he'll come to her whenever he's ready. 

So she went on with her normal routine and didn't focus on him as much, and if he never comes back then it's not her fault. She continued with all her studies and preparing for her own exams, spending time with her friends and making short trips to her favorite meadow. 

She's always found the breeze blowing against her skin, the silence of the field aside from the couple of birds chirping and the insects that have made the grass their home, comforting in a way. She loved being outside even as a young girl, it seemed to be the only place she could go to escape the chaos and loud feelings of her life. She never hesitated to step outside whenever her parents began to raise their voices, or after a long day filled with stress. 

As she sits against the tall oak tree, the leaves shading her from the heat of the Florida sun, she can feel the stress of the past few days leave her body. She smiles happily as the grass tickles her skin, and at this moment she feels at home. 

- - - - 

The next couple of days, she still hasn't heard from Harry about their next session and midterms are coming soon and she'd hate to be the reason Harry fails. The only thing coming into mind is to make her way to the principal's office and demand that he comes to sessions but she knows that won't work. It'll just cause Harry to hate her even more if that's even remotely possible. She sighs as she walks out the school doors and down the steps, a slight pep in her step and a soft smile placed delicately on her lips.

She skips over happily to the bike rack and unties her own, slowly pulling it backwards until she's a good distance from the rack. She stops briefly as something catches her eye. With one hand shielding her eyes from the harsh sun as she scans the crowd, she smiles brightly as she lands on a familiar figure, the loose curls gathered in a pony tail and the leather jacket are all too familiar to her, so without thinking she begins to move towards him. Her legs carry her through the crowd of students until she's standing directly behind him. Her hand comes up to tap gently on his shoulder, stepping backwards so he can turn around. 

He turns around, scowl already forming on his lips as his eyes meet hers. His fists clench at his side and he shakes his head. He quickly turns back around and opens his car, not caring about the conversation he was in the middle of. She frowns slightly before walking behind him as he aggressively opens the door and gets in, making sure to glare at her when her hand reaches out to rest on his door. 

"What the fuck could y’possibly want?" He asks and she frowns slightly. 

"You've been ignoring me." He scoffs lightly at her response as he sticks his keys in and starts the car. 

"Get the hint then, lala." He gently begins to tug on the door, just because he's an asshole doesn't mean he's just gonna let her get hurt physically.

She frowns as she keeps her hand on the door. 

"Just because it was one bad study session - keep in mind it was only bad because of you - doesn't mean you can be even more of an asshole to me. I know you don't wanna fail, you wanna get the hell out of here as fast as possible." He stares at her blankly as she speaks. 

"I don't care if you like me or not because frankly I don't like you right now. I've tried to schedule sessions and all I get is radio silence. If you want this to be over as soon as possible, then you need to try. You need to work with me, not against me. If you wanna pass, I'll be at the library in the same spot all week. If you don't, then you better tell the principal you canceled our study session and whatever bullshit you need to say. I want you to know that if you fail, you can not blame me because you did this yourself." She says as her grip on the door loosens. He furrows his eyebrows as he stares at her intensely, his frown prominent as his eyes size her up. 

He lets out a defeated sigh as he shuts his eyes and turns his head slightly, his curls tickling his neck as they slide over it. 

"Fucking fine, two days from now I guess we can meet up and study some more. Is that all?" His voice lacks any eagerness but that doesn't deter her from cracking a big smile at him before she skips off towards the bike rack. His eyes never leave her retreating figure even after she pedals out of the parking lot and down the street. 

He's so stuck in his brain that he doesn't hear his friend Alex walk up beside him, the feeling of a hand slapping him on the shoulder startles him from the trance he was in. He snaps his head around and nods his head once in acknowledgement, Alex smiles at him briefly. 

"Wassup man, why're you being weird?" Harry shakes his head as a frown quickly begins to form on his face. 

"The fuck are you talking about?" Harry asks and Alex chuckles, a hand flying out to grasp Harry's shoulder in response. 

"You've been staring into space since what's her face left." Harry shakes his head in response as he chuckles. 

"Nothin' like that. S'all taken care of." Alex nods once before releasing his hold on Harry's leather clad shoulder. 

"Me and a couple of buds are going to the bar tonight, you wanna come?" Harry nods once in agreement before they say their goodbyes. 

- - - - 

Y/N sits on the couch beside her closest friend, Leya, aimlessly scrolling through the channels on the television. Their phones are discarded on the coffee table in front of them as they make small talk as they search for something to watch. The day's been boring for both of them, Y/N went to school and then headed over to Leya's house where her friend's been cooped up all day. 

"We should go out tonight." Leya says after settling on some cooking show. 

She sets the remote on the table before turning to face Y/N beside her, her eyes meeting confused ones. 

"It's a school night... Why on earth would we go out?" She asks and Leya chuckles. 

"We won't be out late, promise. Just tired of being cooped up inside and we haven't hung out outside of these four walls in forever it seems. You've been busy." Y/N smiles softly as she tucks one leg underneath her as she bites her bottom lip. 

She knows her best friend's idea of “not late” is much different than hers, they're more than likely going to be heading back to their places around one in the morning, meanwhile Y/N usually only stays out until eleven p.m. since she has early morning classes. She sighs before turning her gaze to her best friend, eagerness and excitement is written all over her face and she can't help but to return the excitement. A bright smile forms on her lips before she nods her head. 

"Where did you want to go and we're only staying out until midnight at the latest, I have to get up early." She can't help but smile at her friend's excitement. 

They both turn their gaze to the television, smiles etched on their faces as they focus on whatever the man on the screen is cooking. She knows this isn't a good idea because she knows they'll be out much later than intended simply because time won't matter once they're having fun. No one will be checking their phones and she doesn't even know where they're going!

She knows she hasn't had much time to properly hang out with her best friend because she's been doing a lot more. She's been juggling school with tutoring two different students and trying to snag some hours in at the local library for a little side cash. She can't help but to feel bad, but there's nothing she can do about it now and she's sure her friend understands why. 

Leya goes on and on about a bar nearby that's under new management and is supposed to be so much better and how she wants to try it. 

 "They have a better selection of drinks, live music! This sounds like so much fun I promise you won't regret it. Please say you'll go, you have to! I'm afraid I'll die if you say no." Leya says, placing a hand on her forehead to feed into the dramatics as she rests her upper half over the couch armrest. 

Y/N can't help but to laugh at her friend as she rolls her eyes playfully. 

"You're silly. You know I was gonna say yes regardless, you deserve a proper fun night out." Leya's face might be broken with how hard she's smiling, white teeth showcased fully and her eyes barely showing as she quickly shortens the small distance between to embrace her best friend into a tight hug. 

"I could quite literally kiss you right now, you're the best friend ever! I'm so excited, thank you thank you!" She squeals before pulling away to plant a sloppy kiss on Y/N's cheek causing the girl to laugh as she wipes it away with the back of her hand. 

A comfortable silence falls over them as they turn their attention back to the television, the man's voice playing in the background as he talks about whatever dish he's making for the day. Her head lays on Leya's shoulder as they continue to watch tv, a happy smile on her face as she enjoys the company and peaceful bliss. 

- - - - 

Several hours later, Y/N finds herself standing in front of the standing floor mirror holding two different dresses. She takes turns in holding the dresses up to her body as she tries to decide which one she wants to wear. She doesn't wanna put too much effort in her appearance since she knows it'll all be sweated off by the end of the night. 

She ends up choosing a simple black dress, one that hugs her curves nicely with lace detailing around the edges and stops mid thigh. It's plain enough so she won't stand out too much, but dressy enough to show she actually put some effort into her appearance. After she slips it on, she applies some light makeup and styles her hair and decides to leave her curls to flow down her back. 

She walks out of Leya's room and into the living room where she's met with her best friends' figure leaning over the kitchen island as she applies a pink tinted lipstick over her lips, the burgundy dress compliments her caramel skin, hugging her curves but flaring out towards the bottom with an open back and stops mid thigh. Her hair has been pinned back as it rests in the matching burgundy hair clip. She can't help but to smile as she watches her friend add the finishing touches to her makeup before choosing to speak up. 

"You look super pretty, Leya. Is that dress new?" Leya turns around and smiles just as big as she nods. 

"Yes! Oh my gosh, you look to die for! Spin for me baby!" Leya exclaims and Y/N can't help but to giggle as she does a spin, her white heels clicking against the tile floor with every step.

They both laugh as they embrace each other in a tight hug before walking out the door and towards Leya's car. The soft breeze blowing against her skin and she smiles as she steps inside the car. Leya hops into the driver seat and starts the car making sure to roll Y/N's window down as she drives down the street. The trees and houses turn into a blur, the breeze fanning her face as she lays her head on the open space on the car door. 

- - - - 

The smell of weed quickly fills Y/N's nose as she steps out of the car and lets her eyes sweep over the building. There's a couple of guys huddled in the far side of the building, she can only assume they're smoking the weed by how clouds of smoke keep blowing in the air every couple of seconds. She can see the side profile of one of the guys and she can't help the small gasp that escapes her lips when she realizes that one of the guys is Harry. 

He's dressed like normal, a white dress shirt halfway unbuttoned to show off his swallows tattoos and his toned chest, a pair of black skinny jeans and his signature brown Chelsea boots, his hair resting right at his shoulders instead of his usual bun. She can hear Leya clear her throat from behind her and she turns around to meet her gaze with a sly smile. 

They don't say anything to each other before Leya's grabbing her hand and heading towards the entrance and she laughs as Leya yells. 

"Party time baby!" The sound of her friend's voice causes Harry and his friends to look over and she catches a glimpse of his signature frown beginning to form. 

She refuses to let him ruin a perfectly good night so she sends him a sarcastic smile before she's dragged through the door and directly to the bar, she staggers behind her friend as her heels clack against the wooden floor. She quickly apologizes to everyone she bumps into as she tries to make herself as small as possible, earning a few nasty glares in the process. It doesn't take long for the two girls to reach the bar and they quickly hop onto the bar stools, the leather squeaks underneath with every move. 

The music is loud and Y/N can feel the vibrations through the stool, even though she just walked in the heat from all the dancing bodies enveloping her, wrapping her in a warm hug. The bartender comes over and sends both of them a flirty smile as he leans on the counter top. 

"And what can I get for you lovely ladies?" He asks and they both let out a giggle. Leya's the first to answer as she smiles back. 

"I'd like a sex on the beach please!" The waiter nods in response as he gathers everything he needs and begins to make her drink. 

Y/N doesn't know what she wants to drink, she's never been a heavy drinker, she doesn't like the bitterness of beer or the burn of tequila as it flows down her throat. She usually sticks with water or tea, something non-alcoholic or something sweet when she's out so she turns her head and pleads with Leya. Wide eyes begging for help to make herself feel better about her decision which causes her friend to laugh softly before nodding her head. 

The waiter comes back with a smile as he hands Leya's drink to her and turns to Y/N, flashing her a flirty smile as well. 

"And what can I get started for you, pretty?" Y/N smiles politely back at him before Leya interrupts them. 

"Do you by any chance have anything fruity?" The bartender nods and quickly mixes her drink and hands it to her, it's orange and looks just like orange juice and she can make out a few ice cubes floating around. 

She hesitantly brings the cup to her lips and takes a small sip, expecting to feel the burn in her throat or taste the bitter aftertaste that'll linger on her taste buds. Surprisingly she doesn't taste any of it, it's sweet and tastes just like orange juice. She licks her lips before taking a longer sip and nods. 

"I like this! What's it called?" She asks and the bartender chuckles softly before he replies.

"It's called a screwdriver. It's orange juice and vodka. I'd be careful with that, because it's so easy to drink it'll get you pretty tipsy fast. Don't just drown it, small sips." She nods gingerly as she turns to Leya. 

"Want some?" Leya shakes her head softly as she sends a smile to Y/N, one full of love and happiness she can't help but to send a reciprocated smile back. 

The bartender leaves them to chat idly as the music plays, loud enough to cause them to lean into each other to make sure they're heard correctly. Leya talks about how she can't believe that Y/N is out and drinking, making jokes about where has her friend gone because the girl she knows wouldn't be caught dead in a bar, let alone outside her apartment at this time. Y/N chuckles before playfully pushing her friend's shoulder and taking another sip of her drink. 

As their eyes glaze over the crowd full of dancing people, Leya nudges her softly causing her to turn her head briefly where she's met with a smirk. 

"You know Harry's here?" Y/N chuckles before nodding. 

"Saw him outside before we came in. Didn't look too happy to see me." She shrugs before taking another sip of her drink. She watches as her friend shakes her head and rolls her eyes. 

"Still nothing huh? I don't even understand why he dislikes you so strongly. You said you confronted him in the parking lot? Did nothing happen?" Y/N can feel her frown beginning to form at the thought of her outburst at him. 

"No, he just stared like a statue the whole time before he very reluctantly agreed to another study session. I hate to feel like I'm forcing him but I refuse to let him fail under my watch you know? I know he can do better." Y/N takes another sip of her drink as she begins to drum her fingers on her thigh to the rhythm of the song playing. 

Leya smiles as she sips her own, she loves that most about her best friend. The fact that no matter what she's always seen the best in people and never treated them the way they treat her. 

"Let's play a game." The smirk is back on her lips as she sets her drink on the counter behind her. 

"What could we possibly play at the bar Leya?"  Her curiosity is getting the best of her, she always had fun with her and this wouldn't be any different.

"Let's see how many people end up fucking tonight. You take a sip if you end up losing your guess, and the other person takes a sip if you guess correctly." Y/N can't help the shiver of excitement that runs through her body at the game description and so she nods her head excitedly as both eyes trail over the crowd. 

- - - - 

Several wrong guesses and a couple correct ones, Y/N can feel the warmth of her cheeks and she's a giggling mess. She's never felt more at peace as she leans her head on her friend's shoulder. They've left their multiple glasses behind as they sway lightly and slowly to the very upbeat song, not caring about the nasty glares they're receiving or the way the bass of the song vibrates in her chest. They've forgotten the game a while ago, after Leya's guesses got more incorrect and Y/N's guesses became slurred words and giggles. 

She's never been a heavy drinker so she considers herself a lightweight when it comes to alcohol and at this moment it shows. Y/N's more gone than Leya is - she's borderline tipsy, still able to form sentences and can kinda walk in a straight enough line if she concentrates hard enough. So Y/N leans her weight on her friend as she wraps her arms around her waist and snuggles her face into her neck, neither girl caring about her makeup that will definitely leave a stain as they sway. 

"Leys.." a giggle escapes her lips at the new nickname coming from her before she turns her head upwards to gaze at her best friend. 

"Yes, honey bunny?" Leya brings one hand up to her head and softly runs her hand through Y/N's curls as she laughs softly, she can feel Y/N begin to relax in her hold and she chuckles softly. 

"Love you." She mumbles and she can feel a soft kiss on the top of her hair and the tightening of Leya's arms around her shoulders. 

"Love you too sweets. Are you feeling okay?" Y/N softly nods her head against Leya's chest. 

A couple seconds past, a comfortable silence looming over them before Y/N gasps and pulls away. 

"What? What's wrong?" Leya's face is laced with concern, eyebrows raised and eyes wide as she stares at the drunk girl. 

"You're my best friend!" She exclaims and lets out a small giggle. Relief floods over Leya's face and turns into a loving smile. 

"And you're mine, forever and always." She breaks into a big smile, one that makes her cheeks hurt and shows off all of her teeth, one that seems to brighten up the decently lit building. 

The music has seemed to fade away into the background, it doesn't seem as loud anymore but she can still feel the bass vibrating through her body as she very clumsily dances alongside her best friend. Hands, arms, and sides bump into one another throughout her time shared on the dance floor, she can't bring herself to care about any of that. The only thing that matters at the moment is that she'll be happy and she's having fun, she can't remember a time she's felt so loose. 

She stops her dancing around to stumble over to the bar once more, their glasses cleaned off and the bartender already ready with a medium sized glass cup. 

"Are you thirsty?" He says as he pushes the cup towards her, the condensation leaves a wet trail against the wooden countertop and she shakes her head. 

"New cup please, no drugs." She giggles slightly at herself and sets her hand on the table. She focuses her attention on the bartender as he pours out the water and rinses the cup. He quickly pours her some fresh water and she giggles as she thanks him, their fingers brushing over another as she grabs her cup from him and takse a sip.

She's managed to lose Leya in such a short time, her eyes flitting over the crowd but she can't seem to focus on finding her friend when her eyes land on Harry's signature curls and leather jacket. She giggles before taking a big sip of the water and sets her cups on the counter as she hops down from the stool and begins to clumsily make her way over to Harry. She bumps into a couple people on the way over, saying excuse me before she bursts into small fits of giggle with every bump. 

She almost trips over someone sitting near Harry, her hand coming out to grab onto the closest thing to her and she quickly grabs onto someone's chair. 

"Watch it!" The guy yells at her and she quickly pushes herself up and apologizes, a soft laugh coming out from her lips as her eyes lock onto Harry's. His face is bare, no frown placed on it but his hazy eyes show just the hint of annoyance. His eyes wander over her body as she just stands there before he leans forward and his eyes flick up to hers as his hands slowly come up to her frame. He ever so gently and very carefully takes the end of her dress and tugs it down from its resting position from at the top of her thighs to the middle of her thigh. 

After he's satisfied he quickly pulls back and grabs the joint from Alex's hand and takes a hit, he enjoys the burn in his throat as he inhales and watches the smoke as he exhales. He finds that her presence isn't as infuriating like this, his eyes travel down her frame - taking in the way her hair flows, and the dress and just how well it compliments her curves, the way she plays with her fingers and the slight sway she has as she stands in place. 

She then quickly breaks out into a big smile and stumbles closer to Harry. 

"Hi!" He frowns slightly before nodding to her in acknowledgment. 

"Have you seen Leya?" She hiccups softly before letting out a small laugh. He shakes his head before turning to his friend.

"Seen her friend?" His friend shakes his head as well and he turns his gaze back to her. 

"Go look around. Couldn't have gone too far. She shouldn't have left you like this anyways." She frowns at that before shaking her head.

"I left her, got thirsty. The nice bartender gave me water with no drugs." She giggles before turning around and pointing to the man standing behind the counter, his eyes already fixed on her. 

Harry leans slightly to stare at the man before looking back to her and sighing in annoyance as he stands up. He tells his friends he'll be right back as he walks the couple steps to stand in front of the intoxicated girl. 

"C'mon then, let's see if we can find her." His voice gruff as she turns around and begins to stumble her way through the crowd, bumping into a guy and causing him to spill his drink. 

"Fucking bitch. You owe me a drink!" He watches as she flinches slightly at the already drunk man's tone. 

Harry can't help but to frown as he steps forward and stares at the man with anger clouding his eyes. 

"Talk to her with fucking respect, douchebag." He says as he steps back and reaches into his pocket to grab his wallet, opening it up and grabs a couple dollars and roughly hands it to him.

"Now shut the fuck up and get your drink." He says and walks over to Y/N and lays his hand on her shoulder as he pushes her to the bar gently. The girl giggles and thanks Harry for saving her from the 'scary man' as they make it to the counter. 

"Are you ready for another one, pretty girl?" The waiter asks and she shakes her head softly. Harry can't help but to clear his throat in an attempt to get the attention off of the girl beside him. 

"We're actually looking for her friend, have you seen her?" The bartender's eyes flick back and forth between Y/N and Harry before nodding his head. 

"Yeah, she went into the bathroom with some guy a little bit ago." Harry scoffs as he grabs Y/N's hand and leads her to the door. 

She squeals before she smacks Harry's hand. 

"Hey! Harry! Slow down! Wait! She's in there!! Can't leave her!" She yells, but Harry shows no sign of stopping. His hair flows in the air behind  him as he drags her to the door, the sound of her heels clicking against the wooden floor just barely audible over to the sound of the drums on the stage. He doesn't stop until they've made it outside the door and he stops abruptly and runs his hand through his hair. 

"Can't leave Leys, Harry. Love her. She's my best friend! We gotta go back!" She huffs and he shakes his head. 

"No can do, lala. Your best friend is hooking up with some random fucking guy instead of making sure you're okay. M'taking you home. What's your address?" He takes out his phone and opens the *Maps* app, she does nothing but glare at him. 

"Don't want you, want Leya." She says as she turns around and heads to the door. 

He rolls his eyes as he moves to stand in front of her and softly places his hands on her shoulders. 

"C'mon Y/N. M'not gonna hurt you. Just let me take you home." He says, his voice surprisingly soft and she shakes her head and crosses her arms. 

"You're not Leya." He rolls his eyes at this. 

"M'doing both of us a favor by continuing these sessions, it's the least you can do. You're drunk off your fucking ass and your best friend doesn’t seem too worried about you. C'mon and let me take you home. Can you not be so stubborn for once, you're in no condition to be anywhere but in your own bed." Her bottom lip juts out and begins to wobble and he sighs. 

"Leya cares 'bout me, she's worried right now. Let me inside, you don't care. Just gonna hold this over my head tomorrow." She says as she reaches into her purse for her phone. 

She quickly grabs it and unlocks it, her finger clicking on the phone icon and clicking on Leya's name and clicking the speaker icon. The phone rings several times and Y/N bites her bottom lip nervously, the time taking forever with each second that the phone doesn't click and her friend's voice comes through. After a while the phone goes to voicemail and she can't help the few tears that fall from her eyes and onto her cheeks. She dejectedly nods her head and follows Harry to his and she only manages to bump into a few cars along the way. 

Harry sighs before coming next to her and ever so gently wraps his arm around her waist, not touching her but enough to keep her from stumbling too much and setting off someone's car. It's almost too easy for her to melt into his hold as her head comes to rest on his shoulder and wraps her own arm around him, she's too far gone to take note of the way his body tenses up underneath her touch. It takes the both of them longer to get to his car than it would if it was just him because of the way she keeps stumbling over cracks in the road or just her own two feet. He opens the door for her and allows her to get in and sets his jacket on her lap just in case, he's careful when strapping her in - trying his best not to touch her too much and announcing his every move for her to nod and giggle. 

- - - - 

After a couple wrong directions from Y/N talking over the voice coming from the speaker, Harry manages to pull into her driveway and parks the car. He gets out after telling her to stay put, walking around the car to her side, opening the door and unbuckling her, being gentle with her as he helps her out of the car and towards her house. When they reach the front door, he taps her on the shoulder and nods to the door. 

"You got your keys?" His voice comes out softer than usual, taking on a more gentle tone with the girl and it only confuses him more. He hates that he’s trying to be gentle with her, how he can see that she’s more vulnerable now and doesn’t want to upset her. Y/N nods before reaching into her purse and surprisingly fast she pulls out her keychain, the various keys jingling against each other as she uses the other hand to pick at each key. 

Right when her fingers begin to wrap around her house key, they slip through her grasp and make a loud jingle as they hit the floor. 

"Whoopsie." She giggles as she bends down, Harry follows suit as his own hand reaches out to grab it and he manages to beat her to it as his right hand wraps around the keychain. They both stand up at the same time causing them both to hit their head against the other, she frowns as one hand comes up to rub her head. Harry can't help but to crack a smile at the sight before he shakes his head and unlocks her door, opening it fully as his arm wraps around her waist. 

His fingers are just barely touching her dress as he guides her in the house, quietly shutting the door before asking him to lead her into her own room. She giggles softly as she nods, her own hand coming to rest on top of his as they walk into her room. Harry's not disgusted by her room, in fact it reminds him of earlier years, the various posters of plants and paintings, post it notes with words of encouragement and a decent sized calendar line the plain white walls, her beige comforter set contrasts the soft pink carpet that rests underneath her bed and he can spot a flower vase full of various flowers sitting on top of her dresser accompanied by other small decorations. 

Her room just screams… her, it's something that you'd expect to see from her and he can't complain. For as long as he can remember she's always been so predictable when it comes to anything really, and so as he leads her to the bed her door catches on the leg of her dresser causing her to begin to fall forward. She squeals as she prepares for the hard impact against the floor but it never comes, Harry's arms are wrapped around her securely, his fingers digging into her waist as he pulls her up. 

"For fucks sake, slow down will you. I need you alive so I can pass this stupid test. Don't want you to damage that useful brain of yours huh?" He can't help to add a teasing tone to his voice and she shakes her head. 

"Can you get dressed by yourself?" He asks and she shakes her head. 

He quickly heads to her dresser and waits for instructions that never seem to come, so slowly he opens one of her drawers - wary not to open one he definitely does not want to open, and he's met with a collection of hoodies and large shirts. So he quickly grabs one and tosses it to her, not bothering to look back as he speaks. 

"D'ya need shorts or anything?" He's met with silence and he turns around to see her gaze on him, her features soft and a hint of smile plays at her lips. 

"Y/N. Did ya hear me?" He says and still no response, so he steps closer and bends down so they're eye level causing her to break from her trance. 

"Huh, what?" She slurs as she blinks fast, her breath fanning over his face so he quickly leans back. 

"D'ya need shorts to sleep in?" She shakes her head as her cheeks fills with heat.

"What were you staring at?" He knows he doesn't care but his curiosity gets the best of him. 

"You're jus' really pretty, s'all." She replies, her mouth moves before he brain can process what she’s saying. 

He shakes his head at her before heading to her door. 

"M'pretty now? Be careful Y/N or someone might think y'like me. But thank you, I guess one might say you looked pretty tonight as well, not me though." He says as he walks out the door and closes it behind it. Her head is swimming as she stands up and begins to tug her dress off her body. It takes her a couple of attempts but she finally manages to drag the garment off her frame and she tosses it onto the edge of her bed before slipping on the shirt Harry tossed at her. 

She quickly sits on her bed and grabs the closest thing to her to help cover her bare legs, resulting in his jacket covering the upper half as she tells him to come in. The door squeaks as it opens and he sticks his head in before walking inside. His eyes flick to his jacket covering her bare thighs and one hand clenches into a fist.

"Harry?" His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of her voice and he opens his eyes to stare at her. 

"Why don't you like me?" She tilts her head forward as she gathers her hair into a bun. 

"Never said I didn't lala, don't go into that big head of yours." He leans backwards against her door frame and watches as she takes a big breath. 

"You always get irritated in my presence and you're more mean to me than anyone else." She begins to fiddle with her fingers as she ducks her head down. 

Harry sighs before coming to sit next to her on the bed, choosing to sit on the farthest side to protect anything from happening. 

"All I'm gonna say is I don't not like you. Now come lay down so I can leave." He says and stands up, pulling her blankets down and helps her get into bed, making sure she's covered fully. His head is tilted down as he finishes the last touches and she turns her head to the side to tell him thank you and apologize but she's met with the softness of his lips. It's quick and most definitely was an accident by the way he jerks back as if he got burned. 

Y/N lets out a nervous giggle before she sits up, her shirt beginning to slip down her shoulder and Harry frowns. 

"I'm sorry, so sorry! I actually wanted to apologize when I turned. So uh sorry about everything, fuck I'm sorry." Her mouth is moving a mile a minute, the words slurring together as they spill from her lips. 

Harry shakes his head as he exhales a shaky breath, he quickly walks out the room and attempts to make his way into her bathroom, opening up one cabinet to grab the small bottle of pain pills and walks into her kitchen. He opens all the cabinets and searches for a spare cup, quickly spotting it as he fills it halfway and heads back into her room, quietly setting both items down on the wooden bedside table and makes his way out the door and into his car. 

His mind is racing the whole drive there and the only that he can think of is how pretty she looked and the way her lips felt against his, he knows he's fucked up by choosing to help her and now look what happened. As his foot presses down onto the gas pedal and the car begins to drive faster, cursing himself the whole ride there and he hopes she won't remember any of this in the morning.

[charlesslut16]

-how did this happen on christmas?-

summary : the first christmas without lewis...

PAIRINGS : lewis hamilton x fem!reader (ft. kids)

WARNINGS : sad break up

note : I hope that you have great time! 🎄

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The soft glow of Christmas lights bathed the living room in a warm, comforting glow. The tree, adorned with shimmering gold and silver ornaments, sat proudly in the corner, its branches heavy with memories and the scent of fresh pine.

Snow gently fell outside, painting the world with a delicate white blanket. It was the kind of Christmas Day that most people dreamed about — the kind of day that was supposed to be filled with joy, love, and togetherness.

But for you, there was an emptiness that overshadowed the beauty of the holiday. The house was filled with the laughter of your two children, their excited voices ringing through the halls as they ran around in their festive pajamas.

Your parents were nearby, helping to set the table for dinner, their presence grounding you in the midst of everything. Yet, there was a heaviness in your chest, a weight you couldn’t shake.

Your mind kept drifting back to the past few months. How had it come to this? How had you and Lewis, once so in love, come to this moment where you were sitting in your parents' living room on Christmas Day, separated by the unspoken truths of a marriage that no longer worked?

The thought made your heart ache. You looked at your kids as they laughed with your parents, their joy a bittersweet reminder of what once was. They deserved happiness. They deserved to feel the love and warmth that came with the holiday season. But deep down, you knew that the world had changed, and what you had once built was no longer the same.

“Are you alright?” your sister’s voice brought you back to reality. You turned to see her standing by the kitchen counter, her eyes filled with concern. She had always been there for you, the one person who knew you better than anyone else. It was no surprise that she noticed the sadness in your eyes.

You gave her a faint smile, trying to mask the tears that threatened to fall. “I’m fine. Just... thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” She crossed the room and stood next to you, her arms folding across her chest.

You hesitated, unsure if you were ready to speak the truth out loud. But when you looked at her, you saw the love in her eyes, the understanding that only a sister could provide. You couldn’t hide anymore. The walls you had built to protect yourself were crumbling, and you were left exposed.

“About Lewis,” you said softly, your voice breaking slightly. “I don’t know how we got here, you know? I thought we were perfect. We had the kids, the house, everything. But somewhere along the way, it all fell apart.”

Your sister’s face softened, and she reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I know it’s been hard. You’ve been so strong, holding everything together for the kids. But you’ve been carrying this burden for a long time, haven’t you?”

You nodded, your throat tight. “I never wanted this. I never thought this would happen. I thought we’d grow old together, that we’d make it work, no matter what. But I realized that we were just... not the right match anymore. And I tried, I really tried to make it work, for the kids, for us. But we’re just not happy.”

The tears that you had been holding back for so long finally spilled over. They streamed down your cheeks, the weight of your emotions finally breaking free. You had tried so hard to keep it together, to be strong for everyone around you, but the pain of the last few months had built up to a point where you couldn’t carry it any longer.

Your sister wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry. I know how much this hurts.”

“I don’t understand how we got here,” you whispered, your voice shaky. “How did we go from being so happy, so in love, to... this? I feel like I’ve failed.”

“You didn’t fail,” she said gently, her voice filled with compassion. “You’ve been through so much, and you did what you thought was best for the kids. But sometimes, people change. Sometimes, two people who once fit together perfectly, don’t anymore. That doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It just means that it’s time to move on.”

You pulled away from the hug, wiping your eyes. “But how do I move on? How do I even begin to heal from this?”

Your sister paused, giving you a moment to collect yourself. “One day at a time. You’re going to get through this, just like you’ve gotten through everything else. And you’ll be okay. The kids are happy, they’re loved. And you have so much love and support around you. You’re not alone in this.”

Her words, though comforting, didn’t erase the pain that lingered in your chest. The truth was, the divorce had been inevitable. You and Lewis had tried to make it work. You had been to therapy, had the difficult conversations, and had fought for each other in ways that sometimes felt impossible.

But in the end, you realized that love alone wasn’t enough to fix what had become broken. You had grown apart in ways you couldn’t ignore anymore. The spark that once lit up your relationship had faded, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t reignite it.

You had decided that Christmas would be the day you would have the kids with you. You wanted them to feel normal, to experience the magic of the holiday in the comfort of family. Lewis had agreed to take them the following day, as he always did during the holidays. And for the first time in months, you felt the weight of your decision settle in. You had made the right choice, for you and for the kids. But it didn’t make it any easier. The emptiness in your chest was still there, gnawing at you.

As the evening wore on, the kids went to bed, exhausted from the excitement of the day. The house grew quiet, the only sound the soft crackling of the fire in the hearth. You found yourself sitting on the couch, staring into the flames, lost in thought.

Your sister left to check on her family, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You felt the isolation creeping in once more. The house, once filled with laughter and love, felt like a ghost of what it used to be. You could almost hear the echoes of better times, moments when you and Lewis had been happy, when everything felt right.

But now... now you were just two people who shared children and memories but no longer shared a future.

A soft knock on the door broke your reverie. You wiped away the remnants of your tears quickly, hoping no one could see the rawness in your eyes. You opened the door, expecting your sister, but to your surprise, it was your mom standing there.

“Hey, sweetheart,” she said softly, stepping inside and giving you a warm hug. “I thought I’d check on you. How are you doing?”

You didn’t answer immediately. Instead, you stepped back, letting her in. Your mom had always been the steady anchor in your life, the one who had always known how to help you see the brighter side of things. But tonight, you couldn’t help but feel like you were letting her down, like you were failing to live up to the strong, happy daughter she had always known.

“Not great, Mom,” you said quietly, sitting down on the couch again. “It’s Christmas, and I’m supposed to be happy, but all I can think about is how we got here. I feel like I’m letting everyone down.”

Your mom sat down next to you, her arm around your shoulders. “Sweetheart, you are not letting anyone down. You’ve done everything you could. Sometimes things just don’t work out the way we hope. But that doesn’t mean you’ve failed.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” you whispered, your voice breaking again. “I miss how things used to be. I miss the way things were before... before everything changed.”

“Change is hard,” she said gently. “But you’ll find your way. You’ve been through hard times before, and you’ve always come out stronger. This is just another chapter, sweetheart. You’ll figure it out. And you’re not alone. You’ll always have us, your family. And most importantly, you have your beautiful kids.”

You nodded, grateful for her comforting words, even if they didn’t fully ease the ache in your heart. “Thank you, Mom. I just... I wish I knew how to make it stop hurting.”

“I know, darling. But one day, this pain will lessen. And you’ll see the light again, in a different way, with new possibilities.”

As you sat there in the warmth of your mother’s arms, you allowed yourself to believe that maybe, just maybe, she was right. You didn’t have all the answers, and you didn’t know how to heal the wounds that had been caused, but you would get through it. For yourself, and for the kids.

Christmas wasn’t what you had expected, but you would survive. And in time, you would learn how to rebuild. How to make the next chapter something new. How to move forward.

“How did it happen?” You asked yourself in a whisper, as the tears slid down your cheeks, your voice breaking in the stillness. You didn't have the answers, but you would one day. And that, at least, was something.

Christmas would always be a reminder of what once was — but now it would be the start of something else.

And you, and your kids, would be okay.

Your kids, now tucked in their cozy beds, were fast asleep, their innocent faces still beaming with the joy of Christmas morning. The bright wrapping paper from their presents scattered across the floor in front of the fireplace, evidence of the happiness they had shared.

As you quietly crept into their rooms, you stood for a moment, taking in the peaceful scene. Your son, a little too old to still believe in Santa, was curled up in his bed with a plush toy in his arms. Your daughter, full of energy as always, lay on her side, her Christmas pajamas slightly wrinkled from all the excitement.

You bent down to kiss each of them gently on the forehead, whispering soft “I love you’s,” as tears welled up again. You never wanted to break their world. You never wanted them to feel the pain that now lingered between you and their father.

But as you closed their doors softly behind you, you made a promise to them. You would be okay. You’d make sure they were okay. And one day, you would all heal. Christmas may have been painful this year, but you would make it through. And next year, maybe things would feel a little bit brighter.

[writingwithciara]

across the hall; part 1 -quinn hughes-

summary: y/n moves in across the hall from quinn and in an emergency, she leaves her five-year old daughter in his care

word count: 1.4k

pairing: quinn hughes x single mom reader

notes: probably going to make this into a mini series because i have too many ideas to fit them in 1 fic. enjoy

y/n was walking into her apartment when her mom called, telling her how worried she was.

"mom, will you relax? i'm going to be fine. it's safer for me out here anyway." y/n walked into her apartment and set her keys down on the counter. her daughter took her shoes off and ran to her bedroom.

"have you met any of your neighbors yet, sweetie?"

"no, mom. i haven't met anyone in the building yet and i don't plan on it any time soon. i've been really busy with work and stuff and just haven't had the time nor the interest in doing so. plus, you know how abby is with strangers."

"i would feel better if you made at least one friend, dear. you're all alone in vancouver. anything could happen to you."

"what if i meet the wrong person, mom? ever think about that?"

"that doesn't worry me because i know you'll trust your instincts."

"and that's why i haven't bothered to talk to anyone in the building yet. besides, it's only my first week here. there's still plenty of time."

"okay fine. but i want you to keep me updated at all times."

"yes ma'am." y/n switched the phone from one ear to the other. there was a knock on the door and she jumped. "i gotta go mom. dinner's here."

"alright. love you sweetie. give abby a kiss for me."

"will do. love you too. bye." she hung up the phone and opened the door. "about time. i'm starving." she looked up from her wallet. "wait, you're not the pizza guy."

"no, i am not. my name is quinn and i live across the hall there." he turned and pointed to the door behind him. "i noticed you just moved in recently and i thought i'd be neighborly and come say hi, see if you needed any help with anything."

"that's very kind of you, quinn. but so far, i've got things handled. thank you though."

"well, if you ever need my help with anything, you know where to find me." he smiled and turned back towards his own apartment. just as y/n was about to shut her door, quinn turned back around. "i'm sorry. i completely forgot to ask for your name."

"it's y/n."

"mommy, i'm hungry." abby came up to y/n and looked at her.

"i know, sweetie. the pizza should be here shortly."

"okay. i'll be in my room." the girl turned around and headed down the hallway.

"she's adorable. how old is she?"

"she's 5, almost 6."

"they're always the cutest at that age." quinn smiled. "well, it was nice to finally meet you, y/n. see you later." he waved and entered his own apartment, leaving y/n to finally close her door.

"hey, abby. want a snack to hold you over until dinner gets here?"

"yes please." abby came out of her room to grab a snack from her bucket and headed back to play with her dolls.

y/n was about to send a text to her mom, letting her know she finally met a neighbor, when there was another knock on her door.

"this better be the pizza." she opened the door and saw quinn standing there holding a pizza box.

"they brought it to the wrong apartment. but don't worry. it's paid for. the guy didn't have time to walk across the hall so i paid him."

"you really didn't have to do that, quinn. but thank you." y/n accepted the pizza and looked at him. "would you maybe want to come in for a slice or two?"

"sure." quinn followed y/n into her apartment and sat on one of the stools at the island.

"abby, dinner's ready."

"yay. pizza!" the little girl yelled and ran out of her room. she stopped in her tracks when she saw quinn. "hi."

"hello."

"quinn, this is my daughter abigail. sweetheart, this is quinn. he lives across the hall."

"do you have kids?"

"no. not yet."

"how old are you?"

"i'm 24."

"oh, so is mommy. she just had a birthday."

"did you really?" quinn turned his attention from abby to y/n.

"no." y/n set the plates down on the island and helped abby into her chair. "well, i didn't just have a birthday. it's been a few months now."

"oh. well i'll be 25 next month."

"in case i don't see you, happy birthday." y/n smiled and began eating her slice of pizza.

"thank you." quinn smiled back and looked at abby,

"shit." y/n pulled her ringing phone out of her pocket and answered it. "hello? yeah. i'll be right there." she hung up and looked at quinn. "i barely know you but i just got called into work for an emergency and abby's normal sitter is busy tonight. would you mind-"

"go to work. i'll watch your daughter."

"you are a lifesaver quinn." y/n ran to her room to get ready. she came out 5 minutes later. "this is crazy. it's my first night off and i was hoping to relax but of course there's an emergency when the hospital is short-staffed."

"oh, you work at the hospital? how are you liking it?"

"it keeps me busy and pays well. but it's a very demanding job. i don't get to spend as much time with abby as i would like."

"that's alright, mom. i understand."

"i love you, sweetheart. now, be on your best behavior for quinn. if you're good, we can get you some new toys this weekend. how's that sound?"

"like an easy task." abby smiled and looked at quinn.

"okay great. thanks again, quinn." y/n smiled and walked out the door.

"alright, abby. what do you want to do?"

"dolls, makeover, tea party?"

"sounds like fun. shall we add music?"

"yes! dance party! mommy never has time for one."

"then we shall have one." quinn went on his music app and put on some popular music that was age appropriate and followed abby to her room to get the makeover started.

after a few hours of playtime, they settled down and quinn put on a random disney movie. abby cuddled up to his side and fell asleep within the first 20 minutes.

when the movie was finished, quinn put on another one and waited for y/n to get home.

he was halfway through the third movie when y/n walked through the door.

"i am so sorry. it took a lot longer than i thought but-" she stopped when quinn put his finger to his lips to shush her. "awe look at that. she must really like you."

"why do you think that?"

"she never falls asleep for anyone other than me. and she loves her usual sitter."

"oh." quinn smiled and adjusted his legs as y/n picked abby up.

"mommy?" abby rubbed her eyes and when she saw it was her mom, she just cuddled into her more.

y/n put abby in her bed and made sure she went back to sleep before she headed back to quinn.

"thank you so much for doing this. i didn't expect to get called into work tonight." she went to hand quinn some money but he stopped her.

"you don't have to pay me. i had a lot of fun."

"was she good?"

"very good. and such a polite child."

"what did you guys do?"

"after you left, we played with her barbies for about half an hour. and when she got bored of that, we had a tea party and then she did my 'makeup'." quinn chuckled. "oh. and we had a mini dance party before i put on some movies for her to settle down to. she was out within the first 20 minutes."

"well, sounds like you had a good time and honestly, i can't thank you enough for watching her. i owe you."

"it's fine. like i said, i had fun. consider that my payment."

"you're the best." y/n walked with quinn out into the hall. he walked up to his door and looked back.

"if i'm not busy & you ever need someone to watch abby, i would be more than happy to do it."

"really? oh my gosh. you really are the sweetest person i've ever met."

"what can i say? my mother raised me right." quinn flashed her a smile and opened his door. "good night, y/n."

"good night, quinn."

[tetzoro]

hiyaaa friendz ! it’s the last day of the year o: which feels ! wild !! but i am here to say that i’m very proud of all of us for making it through ଘ(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و !! 🤍

gentle reminder that while the new year is always good for new beginnings, remember to be kind with yourself as you go after your goals. some things won’t happen overnight but little by little, you’ll succeed. i know it !! i believe in you and i will be rooting for you always !! 🫂

may 2025 bring you inner peace + luck + happiness + so much love that it fills your heart to the very top ^_^ !!

[the-badger-mole]

Clouds, Fog and Mists

The scholars and archeologists that Aang had been working with had come out of their museum basements and dimly lit studies with a wealth of Air Nomad histories and artifacts that had been lost during the war. Aang now had access to recipes he hadn't tasted in years, scrolls that gave historical context to the things he had just begun learning at age 12, and objects he had never seen, but was excited to learn the use of. At 22, he was just now learning that the Air Nomads had a variety of subcultures and customs he'd never encountered, even though he had visited every Air Temple that existed back then.

"Did you know..." became as common to his vocabulary as "hello" and "custard tart". Every day, he approached his wife with some new bit of lore he'd learned.

"Did you know that the Southern Air Nomads had a Festival of Remembrance?" he'd excitedly asked as Katara was hanging the laundry out to try. She was only half listening while she tried to keep Bumi, their nearly three year old son out of the basket of wet sheets, but she gave a polite hum of encouragement.

"For a whole week," Aang continued needing no further prompting, "no one was allowed to play music or speak. They even wore velvet over their feet so their footsteps wouldn't be too loud. Then, at the end of it, there was a huge party! Loud as anything with music and plays and games. I think I remember going one of those ending parties, but I didn't know about the vow of silence before it."

"That's fascinating, sweetie," Katara said, rubbing her heavy belly with a look of discomfort. She was seven months along with their second child, and this one was very active. "Bumi, last warning. Do not touch the clean clothes!"

"Okay, Mommy!" Bumi said before swatting at one of the sheets Katara had hung on the line. She sighed and turned to her husband.

"Can you take him?" she asked. "I'm tired, and I'd like to take a nap after I finish this."

"Oh," Aang said reluctantly. "I was going to have an afternoon session with the Acolytes. I'm dying to tell them what I've been learning."

"Aang, please?" Katara sagged tiredly, taking Bumi's hand and pulling him away from all her hard work.

"Alright," Aang sighed. "I'll watch him for a bit. Come on, Bumi! Let's go practice some air katas! I want you to be ready when your airbending kicks in!"

-:-:-:-:-:-

All Air Nomads were airbenders. That's what Aang had always been taught. He had to account for late bloomers, of course, but at age four, going on five, if Bumi was going to be an airbender, there would've been signs by now. Kya was a lost cause. She had started waterbending just before her second birthday, and despite the fact that her father was the Avatar, there was no chance that she would inherit the ability to control more than one element.

"Well, maybe it's not true that all Air Nomads were benders," Katara said with a shrug. "After all, not every Water Tribesman is a waterbender, and not everyone in the Earth Kingdom is an earthbender."

"It's different," Aang insisted. "The monks told me that all Air Nomads were benders because we have a unique connection with our spirituality." Katara didn't quite manage to hide her annoyance from him.

"Then explain our kids," she said. "Unless you're the first Air Nomad in history to have children with a non-Air Nomad, someone somewhere got something wrong." Aang went quiet after that. He had no response.

"Just because the Air Nomads may have had children with people from other nations doesn't mean that their children were Air Nomads," an acolyte named Qiao said. She was one of the most apt and studious of Aang's Air Acolytes, and they had spent many hours together pouring over the newly discovered texts. Sometimes, Aang thought that she had a better grasp of Air Nomad culture than even he did.

"I suppose....I suppose that's true," Aang said thoughtfully, taking a sip of his tea.

"The Air Nomads were mostly not monogamous," Qiao pointed out. "I'm sure there were a lot of Nomads who had understandings with their lovers from other nations. Especially among the Air Acolytes of the day."

Aang pondered that for the rest of the day. Then the next. Then the rest of the week before he finally approached Katara. He found her by the fountain with Kya and Bumi. Kya was busy making imperfect little shapes with the water while Katara was teaching Bumi how to put his hair into a warrior's wolf tail.

"You look just like your uncle Sokka," she laughed, pressing a kiss on her son's cheek. "I bet you'll be a great warrior just like him, too." That twisted Aang's gut uncomfortably. He cleared his throat to get Katara's attention.

"Hey, sweetie," he said.

"Hey," Katara smiled at him. "We're just about to have story time. Do you want to stick around for How Umiak Rowed Her Boat to the Stars?"

"Oh, um..."Aang shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "Sure. I was just...thinking of something."

"Yeah?" Katara raised her brow at him. "What?"

"I was just thinking of how all the Air Nomads were benders." Katara didn't bother trying to hide her disgusted snort or the rolling of her eyes.

"Okay, and?" she huffed. "Did you draw any new conclusions?"

"I can't have been the only Air Nomad to have children with someone from a different culture," he said. Katara stared at him blankly for a long moment.

"I told you that," she responded finally. "It's just now sinking in?'

"No, I understood you," Aang told her. He kicked at the ground. There was a loose pebble under his toe and he focused on rolling it back and forth. "It's just...well, the Air Nomads, they weren't strictly monogamous."

"Monogamous," Katara scoffed. "That's a big word for you." Aang bristled a bit at that, but he took a breath and let it go.

"I was just reading," Aang said with a shrug. "It occurred to me that maybe because the Air Nomads weren't monogamous, they just didn't bring their non-bending kids into the Air Nomad society." Katara looked up at Aang with her eyes wide.

"That's awful!" she said. "So because their kids didn't bend the right elements, they had to be cut off from one of their parents?"

"No, I'm sure it wasn't as bad as all that-" Aang started to protest.

"What exactly are you saying, Aang?" There was a dangerous edge to Katara's voice. A warning.

"Nothing, nothing!" he scrambled back, tripping over his tongue, trying to call back his words, and cursing himself for trying to bring up the subject without a plan. Katara eyed him coldly. She was angry and trying not to show it.

"It's time for lunch," she told her children. "Let's go inside and fix something to eat."

"But Mommy," Bumi protested. "I want to hear about Umiak!" Katara turned to him with a tight smile.

"That's okay, sweetie," she said. "I'll tell you while you help me fix lunch." With one last scowl at Aang, she took Bumi's hand and swung Kya up onto her hip and went inside.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Aang felt vindicated when it was discovered that he and Qiao were right. The Air Nomads would often leave non-airbending children with their non-Nomad parents. Sometimes the Air Nomad parent would stay with their non-Nomad partners and build a life with them and their children (something he made a note to tell Katara about). Then it was discovered that they were only partially right.

Some of the Air Nomads stayed and raised mixed heritage families. Some left their non-airbending children behind with their non-Nomad partners. That was expected. Reasonable, even. What Aang was not expecting, however, were the accounts of non-airbending children being given away. Some were adopted, and those adoptions were traceable through documents and letters. Others were sold. Those transactions were traceable, too. By most accounts, those children went into indentured servitude and many of them learned trades and were able to start businesses once their indenture was up. Aang tried to focus on the positives. Katara, however, was horrified.

"What right did they have to sell those children into...into slavery?" she demanded hotly while they were getting ready for bed.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad," Aang insisted. "After all, the Air Nomads wouldn't have put children into situations where they could've been hurt."

"Yes," Katara sneered. "I'm sure their new owners were very gentle with their exploitation."

"That isn't fair!" Aang protested. "Do you know how difficult it would've been for those kids to live among the Nomads?"

"Probably about as easy as it's been for our kids." Katara glared at Aang meaningly. He felt his cheeks heat as he looked away, pretending not to understand.

Bumi was going on eight now, and Kya was five. They were both old enough to ask questions about why it was so difficult for them to move around their own home. Katara and the Acolytes had an easier time being adults and able to maneuver obstacles that short legs and small hands couldn't without help, but it was still a regular challenge to get around the Air Temple for them. Aang was in the process of building a complex near Republic City where non-airbending Acolytes could live and learn with more ease, but it wouldn't be ready for anyone to move into for another year or so. It would be safer for children with no airbending ability, too. Aang glanced over at Katara from the corner of his eye, at the soft swell of her stomach, already showing signs of pregnancy at her second month.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Tenzin was the last of Aang's children with Katara, and the only airbender. When he was almost one, he airbent for the first time, and Aang couldn't stop celebrating for an entire week. When Tenzin was two, the first of the burial mounds were discovered.

Archaeologists working at the mostly restored Northern Air Temple found it at the base of the mountain. There were several layers to the grave, suggesting generations' worth of use. Most of the bones were small. Infant and toddler sized. The largest bones were about the size of an average eight year old. The bones were all jumbled together, as if they had been tossed in a heap. Some of them wore the clothes they were buried in, but most of the bones were too broken to hang on to any frabric. There were also no signs of any shrouds or anything indicating that they had been given any of the customary funeral rites of the Air Nomads. The fact that they were found at the base of the mountain in itself was unusual. All the different groups of Air Nomads had their own unique funeral customs, but one thing that remained the same was that they were laid to rest as close to the sky as possible.

When the first reports of how the children came to be at the base of the mountain came out, Aang was certain it was the rankest propaganda. None of the Air Nomads, no matter how stringent they were about non-airbenders living among them, would ever harm a child. For a while, he seemed to be right, as all the proof was from secondary and tertiary sources.

"Lies the Fire Nation used to justify genocide," Aang said confidently.

"But how did the children get there?" Katara asked. Aang had no answer for her. Yet. There must have been a good one, though. Maybe a plague had run through the Air Temple, forcing them to bury the bodies at the bottom of the mountain to prevent contamination, or something equally tragic. Aang began talking to the archaeologists about giving the bones a proper burial as soon as they could be sorted. The count at that time was 700 bodies in the pile and there were still so many more to go.

A few months after that, the oldest of the Air Nomad accounts were uncovered. It went back a good 300 years, and it spoke about a surplus of infants born without the gift of airbending. There were too many to be disposed of the normal ways, and many of the non-bending parents were unwilling or unable to raise the children themselves. The anonymous monk wrote of a meeting to discuss the crisis. They wouldn't be able to care for so many that couldn't get around the temple, or travel with the Nomads. There was a food shortage. A water shortage. An everything shortage. So the head monk suggested giving the children to the air. That had been the first time the practice had been recorded, near as anyone could tell. But some of the bones were older than that.

That's what they called it. It sounded lovely. Poetic even. In practice, though, the babies were carried to the edge of the temple grounds and held in the air. A short prayer was said for the souls of the children, and then they just...let go. They were so high up, they probably couldn't hear the children hit the ground.

The public began to call them the Fog Children. They were babies born to Air Nomad parents, but without airbending abilities themselves. People clung to the term and it soon spread all over the world in hushed whispers. Aang hated it. Katara hated it. It was the only thing they could agree on by that time.

"It isn't fair!" Aang bemoaned. "It's like people are using it to justify the Fire Nation killing all the Air Nomads."

"If it bothers you so much," Katara said after she'd put the kids to bed, "then speak up! Condemn what they did."

"I do!" Aang insisted. He had protested, loudly that all of the Air Nomads shouldn't be judged by what one fringe sect did.

"Not just them," Katara said. "All of it. It's just like with the Fire Nation. Remember what Zuko said? You can't expect to move forward without acknowledging the past. All of it was wrong. The Air Nomads treated their non-bending children as if they had no value. Condemn the adoptions and abandonings and the selling of the children!"

"How is it my responsibility to make up for all of that?" Aang demanded.

"You're the only one left," Katara reminded him, trying to be gentle. "I'm not saying you have to call the Air Nomads monsters. They did something wrong. They were human. You can acknowledge that and commit to being better than that."

"How?"

"Start with your children."

It had been a frequent argument between Katara and Aang how Aang treated their children. Bumi was 13 now, well on his way to becoming a man. Kya was 11 and Tenzin was five. Often, Katara would quiz Aang on his children- what Kya's favorite color was, or the name of Bumi's best friend. Aang could admit that he was correct about Tenzin more often than the others, but it was only because Aang had so much he had to teach his youngest. Katara should've understood that. After all, there were things she did with Kya that she couldn't do with Bumi or Tenzin.

"It's not the same," Katara told him. Aang could never remember why, though.

For the next year or so, Aang spent much of his time doing damage control. He did his best to separate the practices at the Northern Air Temple and the particular sect of Air Nomad culture that grew around it from the rest of the Air Nomads. Every criticism of the culture was met sharply by Aang's rebuttals and justifications. Penning article after article espousing the virtues of the Air Nomads at large became his full time job, and obsession. It took him two weeks to notice that Katara had left with all three of his children, and another month for him to find the letter Katara had left in his bedside table telling him she was seeking a divorce.

He got Tenzin three months of the year. It was all he could manage, being completely unused to parenting alone. Aang taught his son what he could of airbending and the Nomad philosophy he could in that time, and did his best to ignore the people whispering fog children in the same breath as his oldest children.

[theonottsbxtch]

NEW YEAR DREAMS | OP81

an: happy new year to my favourite people ever, i wish you guys all the best in the year to come and i can’t wait to share many more stories with all of you xx

wc: 3.6k

THE ROOM WAS A BLUR OF GLITTER AND CHAMPAGNE, laughter spiraling upwards like smoke in the warm, heady air. Oscar leaned against the far wall, his drink forgotten in his hand, his eyes flitting to her. She was there—of course she was there—wrapped in soft, shimmering fabric that caught the light every time she moved. She always caught the light, didn’t she? But tonight, she didn’t seem to notice.

He watched as she smiled—polite, practiced. A half-second too late to be real. They’d grown up together, her laughter once ringing brighter than any song she’d now sung for millions. Back then, she’d laugh with her whole chest, tipping her head back and sending echoes into the corners of their little cul-de-sac. But tonight, surrounded by people chanting her name as if it were their own, she looked... not quite herself.

He frowned, leaning forward to get a better look just as she slipped away. A ghost through the crowd, quiet and quick, the balcony door clicking shut behind her.

Oscar’s heart thudded. He knew he should stay where he was, where the room hummed with glittering distractions, but something—something unnameable—drew him forward. He set his drink down on a passing tray, weaving through the room until his hand brushed the cool brass handle of the balcony door.

Outside, the night was sharp and clean. The frost-bitten air nipped at his cheeks, and the stars sprawled above, distant and cold. She was there, her arms draped over the railing, her breath clouding in front of her. Her shoulders were tense, as though bracing against the weight of something no one else could see.

For a moment, he didn’t speak. He didn’t trust his voice, not when she looked like that. Instead, he stepped forward quietly, leaning his forearms against the railing beside her.

“It’s loud in there,” he said softly, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. “Figured you might need a minute.”

She didn’t startle, which told him she’d heard him coming. Instead, she sighed, long and slow, her breath curling into the night. “You’d think I’d be used to it by now,” she murmured, her voice low and melodic, carrying just a hint of weariness. “All these people… all these faces. But none of them really care, do they?”

Her words hung between them, a quiet confession to the cold December sky. He turned toward her slightly, his heart pulling taut.

“Some people care,” he said, and his voice was softer now, more certain. “Really care.”

She turned to look at him then, her eyes meeting his, searching for something in his face. He wasn’t sure if she found it, but the corners of her mouth tugged into the faintest hint of a smile. Not the polished, camera-ready kind. The real one. The one he’d missed.

And for a moment, it was just them. Just Oscar and her, the way it had always been—until everything changed.

She looked away, back out over the city below. The skyline was dusted with faint mist, golden and silver lights blinking like scattered coins tossed across the earth. The hum of the party behind them felt like another world entirely, distant and inconsequential.

“It’s funny,” she said after a moment, her voice quiet but steady. “This is everything I wanted. Everything I worked for. And now, standing here…” She hesitated, her fingers curling around the railing as if she were steadying herself. “It feels so far away. Like it’s not even mine anymore.”

Oscar’s chest ached at the sound of her voice, at the tremor she was trying to hide. He wanted to say something, anything, but words felt clumsy on his tongue. So instead, he waited, the silence between them filling with the faint sounds of the city and the muted thrum of music from inside.

“You ever feel like that?” she asked suddenly, turning to him. Her eyes searched his again, darker now under the night sky. “Like you’ve done everything you were supposed to do, but it’s still not enough?”

He swallowed, caught off guard by the question. “I don’t know if I’ve ever done anything big enough to feel that way,” he admitted. “But I know what it’s like to not feel… enough.”

Her gaze softened, her lips parting as if she were about to speak, but the words didn’t come. Instead, she tilted her head, studying him like she was seeing him for the first time.

“I don’t think that’s true,” she said quietly.

Oscar felt a flicker of warmth in his chest, unexpected and disarming. He looked down at his hands, flexing them against the cold, trying to find his footing. “You know, you used to say stuff like that when we were kids,” he said, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You’d go on about how everyone’s special in their own way. Even me, the awkward boy next door.”

“You weren’t awkward,” she said, a hint of amusement breaking through her melancholy. “You were sweet.”

“Sweet,” he repeated, laughing under his breath. “Not exactly what a boy wants to hear, but I’ll take it.”

She smiled again, a real smile this time, and for a moment, it felt like they were back in the summer of their childhood, chasing fireflies and dreams too big for their little town. But the moment passed, fleeting as the cold wind that swept across the balcony.

Her gaze drifted back to the sky. “It’s almost midnight,” she murmured. “Another year gone. Funny, isn’t it? How fast it all slips away?”

Oscar followed her gaze, his heartbeat quickening. Midnight. The thought sent a shiver down his spine. He had barely noticed the time passing, too lost in the sharp edges of her words, the softness of her presence.

He took a breath, feeling the weight of everything he’d never said pressing against his chest. If he didn’t say something now, if he didn’t do something—

“It doesn’t have to slip away,” he said, his voice firmer this time. “Not all of it.”

She looked at him sharply, her eyes wide and questioning, and he knew he couldn’t back down now. The countdown inside was beginning, muffled cheers rising as the final seconds of the year ticked away.

Ten

He stepped closer, his heart hammering so loudly he was certain she could hear it.

Nine

Her breath caught, her lips parting as he reached for her hand.

Eight

The world seemed to shrink, the city, the party, the stars above fading until there was nothing but her and the space between them.

Seven

He held her gaze, the words trembling on his lips, years of unspoken feelings threatening to spill over.

Six

“Can I—” he began, his voice raw and uncertain.

She didn’t pull away.

Five

“Say it, Oscar,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the distant cheers.

Four

“I love you,” he said, his voice breaking like a wave. “I always have.”

Three

She blinked, her eyes glistening, and for a moment, the world stood still.

Two

And then, before he could second-guess, before the fear could creep back in, he leaned in and kissed her.

One

The kiss was soft at first, tentative and searching, but then her hand found the back of his neck, pulling him closer, and the world seemed to explode. Fireworks burst in the distance, the crackle of celebration echoing through the night, but he barely noticed. She was warm and real and impossibly close, and for the first time in what felt like forever, everything else faded away.

When they broke apart, the world seemed to catch its breath. The fireworks still raged on, bursts of colour spilling over the city, and faint cheers from the party behind them reached the balcony. But here, in this quiet corner of the universe, it was just them.

She stared at him, her eyes searching his face, her lips still parted as if she wasn’t sure what had just happened—or if it had really happened at all.

“Oscar…” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, stepping back, his pulse pounding in his ears. “I shouldn’t have—I mean, I just…” He ran a hand through his hair, fumbling for words that wouldn’t come. “I couldn’t let another year go by without—without telling you.”

Her expression softened, a flicker of something unreadable passing through her eyes. “Don’t apologise,” she said gently. Her hand reached for his, her fingers brushing his wrist like she was grounding him. “Not for that.”

He froze, staring at her, hope blooming like fragile wildflowers in his chest. “You mean that?”

She nodded, a small, uncertain smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “I think… I’ve been waiting for you to say it,” she admitted, her cheeks colouring faintly.

His breath hitched. “You have?”

“Yes,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “And I think—I think I’ve been scared, too. Scared of losing you, scared of messing up what we have.” She paused, her thumb tracing absent circles on the back of his hand. “But tonight… standing in that room, surrounded by strangers pretending to care, I realised something.”

“What?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

Her eyes lifted to his, shining like polished onyx under the glow of the city lights. “I realised you’re the only person who’s ever really known me. Not the me they see on magazine covers or onstage. Just… me. And I don’t want to lose that.”

Oscar felt like the ground had disappeared beneath him, like he was floating on the edge of something impossibly big and beautiful. “You’ll never lose me,” he said firmly, his voice steadier now. “Not ever.”

Her smile widened, a flicker of the girl he used to know shining through. “Good,” she said softly. “Because I think I might love you, too.”

His heart stuttered. “You think?”

She laughed then, a sound so familiar it felt like coming home. “I know,” she said, and before he could say anything else, she pulled him close again, her lips brushing his in a kiss that felt like a promise, unspoken but unbreakable.

The fireworks began to die down, the last bursts of colour fading into the sky, but neither of them noticed. The world could have ended in that moment, and Oscar wouldn’t have cared.

For the first time in years, everything felt exactly as it should.

“I don’t want to go back in there,” she murmured finally, glancing at the glowing windows of the party. The music had swelled again, and the faint silhouettes of people laughing and drinking were just visible through the glass.

Oscar followed her gaze, then looked back at her. “Then let’s not.”

She raised an eyebrow, a flicker of amusement in her expression. “Just like that? Run off in the middle of my party?”

“Why not?” he said, a small grin pulling at his lips. “We’ve got the rest of the night, haven’t we? Let’s make it ours.”

Her lips curved into a smile, soft and real, and she nodded. “Alright,” she said. “Let’s go.”

Without another word, he took her hand, their fingers weaving together like they’d always been meant to fit. He opened the balcony door quietly, leading her through the edge of the room. No one noticed them slipping out—the party too consumed by champagne and fireworks and half-forgotten resolutions.

The air outside was sharp and bracing as they stepped onto the street, their breath fogging in front of them. The world felt quieter now, the chaos of the party left behind, and the streets were nearly empty except for the occasional burst of laughter from distant doorways.

“Where to?” she asked, looking up at him, her cheeks flushed from the cold—or maybe from the kiss.

He shrugged, grinning. “Anywhere but here.”

She laughed, a sound that made his chest tighten. “You’re terrible at plans, you know that?”

“Always have been,” he admitted, tugging her gently forward. “But maybe we don’t need one tonight.”

They wandered through the city, the streets lit by golden lamplight and the fading glow of fireworks. It felt like they’d stepped into a different world, one where it was just the two of them and nothing else mattered.

They passed a little café, its windows fogged up, the faint smell of coffee and warm pastries drifting out into the night. She stopped, tugging on his hand.

“Let’s go in,” she said, her eyes bright with the kind of excitement he hadn’t seen in years.

He hesitated, glancing at the closed sign on the door. But before he could protest, she was already pushing it open, the little bell above the door tinkling softly.

Inside, the café was empty except for a tired-looking barista cleaning up behind the counter. He looked up, startled, but before he could say anything, she smiled at him.

“I know you’re about to close,” she said, her voice warm and charming in a way Oscar had only ever seen her use when she really wanted something. “But could we trouble you for just a coffee? We’ll be quick, I promise.”

The barista hesitated, his eyes flicking between them, and then he sighed, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Alright,” he said. “But just one.”

She turned to Oscar, her grin triumphant, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

They settled into a corner booth, their hands still brushing against each other under the table as they sipped their coffee. The warmth seeped into his chest, and he found himself watching her more than he should—watching the way her eyes softened, the way her guard seemed to drop.

“Thank you,” she said suddenly, her voice quiet.

“For what?”

“For this,” she said, gesturing vaguely to the café, to the night, to everything. “For making me feel like me again. I didn’t realise how much I needed it.”

His heart swelled, and he reached across the table, taking her hand in his. “You don’t have to thank me for that,” he said softly. “You’ve always been you. Maybe you just needed someone to remind you.”

She smiled at him, her fingers tightening around his, and for a while, they just sat there, the rest of the world falling away.

When the barista finally cleared his throat, gently reminding them of the time, they left the café, stepping back out into the crisp January air.

“Where to now?” she asked, looking at him with a spark of mischief in her eyes.

He grinned, pulling her closer as they walked down the empty street. “Anywhere you want. As long as I’m with you.”

The cold seemed to ease as they walked together, her hand snug in his, their shoulders brushing with every step. The city had grown quieter, the streets winding into familiar neighborhoods. When they finally reached the little flat he called home, Oscar hesitated for a moment at the door.

“You sure you don’t want me to call you a cab or something?” he asked, his breath fogging in the frosty air. “It’s late, and—”

She cut him off with a smile that lit up her face, soft and unguarded. “Oscar,” she said, squeezing his hand. “I want to be here. With you.”

He swallowed, nodding, his pulse quickening. “Alright, then. Come on.”

Inside, the flat was small but cozy, the kind of place where mismatched furniture told stories of student budgets and long-forgotten IKEA trips. She stepped inside, looking around with a faint smile. “This is so you,” she said, running a hand along the edge of a well-loved sofa.

“That’s either a compliment or an insult,” he said, his voice teasing as he shrugged off his coat.

“It’s a compliment,” she said, meeting his gaze. Her voice softened. “It’s real. Like you.”

He blinked, caught off guard by her honesty, and for a moment, he didn’t know what to say. Instead, he moved to the small kitchen. “Tea? Or something stronger?”

“Tea sounds nice,” she said, sitting on the edge of the sofa and tucking her feet beneath her.

As he busied himself with the kettle, he stole glances at her. She looked so different here, away from the cameras and crowds, her posture relaxed, her guard down. It felt surreal, having her here in his little world, and he didn’t want the night to end.

When the tea was ready, he brought two mugs to the sofa and sat beside her. They talked quietly, about everything and nothing—old memories, silly jokes, the little moments that had defined their friendship. As the night deepened, the conversation slowed, the silence between them growing heavier.

She set her empty mug on the table, turning to him with a look he couldn’t quite place. “Oscar,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah?”

She leaned in then, her lips brushing his in a kiss that was slow and deliberate, her hands finding their way to his chest. He responded instinctively, his hand coming to rest against her cheek, his thumb brushing the soft curve of her jaw.

The kiss deepened, and before he knew it, her fingers were tugging at his shirt, her touch tentative but eager. His heart raced as he mirrored her movements, his hands sliding to the hem of her shirt, lifting it gently.

But then, she froze.

Her hands stilled against him, her breath hitching as she pulled back slightly, her eyes wide and uncertain.

He stopped immediately, his hands falling away as he met her gaze. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice steady despite the rush of emotions coursing through him. “It’s okay.”

She looked away, her cheeks flushing. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I just… I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”

He reached for her hands, holding them gently between his. “You don’t have to apologise,” he said, his voice low and reassuring. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

She nodded, still avoiding his eyes, but he tilted her chin up with a finger, forcing her to look at him. “We have all the time in the world to do this,” he said, his smile soft and sincere. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

Her lips parted slightly, her expression softening as the tension melted away. “You always know exactly what to say, don’t you?” she murmured, her voice trembling with a mix of relief and affection.

“Not always,” he admitted with a small laugh. “But I mean this. I just want you to feel safe. That’s all that matters to me.”

Her heart swelled at his words, and she leaned forward to kiss him again, this time slow and tender, as if trying to say everything she couldn’t put into words.

When they pulled apart, he stood, offering her his hand. “Come on,” he said softly. “Let’s get some sleep.”

She followed him to his bedroom, where the bed was small but inviting. They climbed in together, the covers warm and heavy as they settled side by side. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close, and she rested her head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.

“For what?”

“For being you,” she said, her voice already drowsy.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his own eyes drifting shut as the weight of the night finally gave way to quiet contentment.

And as they lay there, tangled together in the soft glow of the city lights spilling through the window, neither of them said anything more. They didn’t need to.

For the first time in a long time, everything felt exactly as it should.

the end.

taglist: @alexisquinnlee-bc @carlossainzapologist @oikarma @obxstiles @verstappenf1lecccc @hzstry8 @dying-inside-but-its-classy @anamiad00msday @linnygirl09 @mastermindbaby

[ayeyolooo]

AVOIDING -i’m so sorry for any mistakes or errors!

your beats blasted look like by chicken p as the wind danced with your curls. you were trying to hurry to class because you were avoiding a certain someone. Ever since eren ghosted you for a few days and then recently explained to you that he believe that he found his person already the person being mikasa, you were doing your best not to feel hurt about it. so you did what you did best, avoiding.

Even though it hurt you, you had to push passed the pain to avoid any drama. You didn’t know what it was, you were just drawn to eren. Loving the way he treated you while the two of you were in a talking stage. Now all of that’s behind you. you seen eren and his friend group coming up on your right side so you put your head down and sped up your walking. “y/n.” your body went hot and your heart began beating fast. you ignored him and walked into your class.

“aye bra, ion know whatchu did to her but you need to fix it.” ony mummered. “what did you even do eren? i thought you and y/n was good, the praying before every game, doing bible study together, being on the phone all night i dont understand.” connie replied having eren lower his head in defeat. “my dad brought her up, seeing that her and i have gotten closer and seen her with my jacket on.” eren began. “nah man you just can’t seem to leave mikasa alone, knowing good and well she’s not no good for you.” armin side eyed him.

“can i finish?” eren replied. they all nodded. “okay so my dad told my ma how y/n was as a person, and knowing her you know she’s a girls girl, so they both fussed be out saying how i better not hurt her and things like that. and how im not ready for a girl like y/n..” they all hesitated. “wait a minute—.” connie called out.

“your dad.” connie pointed. “coach G, the one that be screaming for no reason, the evil coach protected her!?” ony interrupted. eren nodded and started to play with his rings on his hand. “okay so why does she hate you?” armin pondered. “because i told her how i found my person already, and that i love mikasa, and it’s to an extent with y/n.” the boys all gasped at hearing eren. “eren why did you say it like that? knowing her she was probably crying about it thinking how she wasn’t good enough for you.” eren huffed. “can yall stop, i already feel bad.” armin sucked his teeth. “you should, because y/n is the sweetest person here, if you know that you were going to hurt her, then you should’ve left her alone. and if you knew that you weren’t going to leave mikasa alike you shouldn’t never even started bothering her.” armin defended you, his face started to turn a light red. connie furrowed his eyebrows. “wait why are you riding her meat like that?? yall together or something?” ony jerked his head back at constance’s choice of words.

“nah y/n ain’t like that, if you knew armin and i well enough you would know that she’s like family to us. ever since my dad married armin’s mom y/n’s been coming around more because armin’s mom is her moms bestfriend. and im just pretty much there so we’re like her bestfriends.” ony backed armin up. “ohh type sh-.” eren just shook his head and palmed his hair backwards. “what should i do? she doesn’t want to talk to me.” they all just shook her head. “honestly man you should just let her come around, just leave her, because she’s pretty upset with you at the moment because 1. she feels like you’ve played with her time and 2 she’s going to end up saying something that she’ll regret later, so i’ll advise you to just leave her be.” armin nodded in agreement with ony.

“yeah cause something she needs to work on is speaking while she’s angry, she just allows things to come off of her tongue without thinking about it and then she’ll regret it later.” eren nodded because he noticed that that was true. you did it when you seen him and annie talking about armin, and you told him to come get his jacket and he got upset with you because you were just jumping to conclusions instead of asking him about it. but in your defense they were standing there talking about it for a while, and you couldn’t see as well so you couldn’t see that it was annie and not some random girl.

anyways both you and eren had problems that the both of you needed to fix with yourselves before getting with one another. “i mean eren i dunno man, you hurt her feelings real bad, cause if i was her and you said that to me i would’ve crashed out on you and mikasa.” ony shrugged. “foreal.” connie clapped him up and stated laughing. “bra yall laughing im being dead serious.” they all sucked their teeth. “man just take this L and leave her alone.” they shrugged and began walking to practice.

after practice ended you were walking so that you could ride with armin and ony, as you walked to the benches where they practiced eren began walking in your direction, you sighed your teeth and put your headphones on; white ferrari blasted in your ears as you looked down at your romance book and you picked it up before finishing to where you left off at. “y/n/n.” you heard erens voice. you ignored him.

he took your headphones off and you looked up at him. “what do you want?” you tried your best not to cry. He hurt you, your feelings were all over the place, you were upset that you allowed him to kiss on you, touch you you felt used. You regretted everything, you were disappointed in yourself for getting attached. to him. “can you talk to me please?” he pleased with you. “talk to you about what eren? you told me everything i needed to hear.” you began packing your bag. this was a mistake coming out here i should’ve just waited by their car. you scolded yourself. you stood up, grabbed your headphones from him and began walking.

you were pulled back, erens hand was on your arm. you turned around to erens sweaty face. (his cheeks were rosy red, and his eyes were puffy, while his hair was in a messy ponytail) “leave me alone bra, i don’t want to disrespect you or your girlfriend.” you warned. he just sighed. “would you just allow me to explain y/n? you’re so quick to jump to conclusions you never allow me to explain myself.” eren began to get upset. “you have 10 seconds eren.” you granted him. “why are you ignoring me, and avoiding me y/n?” you scoffed. “are you serious eren?” his eyes moved in confusion. “i’m sorry, i don’t understand you. First you say you found your person, then you chase me down why won’t you leave me alone?” you say. eren just gulped. “you didn’t answer my question..” he responded. “BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT MINE OKAY? i can’t have you, knowing that there’s another girl i just can’t, you love her, not me. i cannot get in between that, so please spare me for not wanting to fall inlovebworh you more, please. Just leave me alone, and let me get over you.

eren’s heart dropped. “don’t say that, you hurt my feelings when you say that.” eren swallowed. “say what eren? that i’m getting over you?? you don’t think you hurt my feelings? Telling me how i wasn’t the person for you? saying how you’ve found your person already almost as if you’ve just used me as a toy ,and as if i was just a place holder til mikasa comes back, do you know how dirty i felt when i got home, knowing that you had a girlfriend , you kissed me and grabbed on me. And me loving you i allowed it, i felt like such a bad person and you don’t even care bro.” tears streamed your face. “just leave me alone eren, stop trying to contact me, just stop it.” you pulled your arm away harshly and walked away sniffing. Eren felt poopy for treating you that way. and he didn’t mean to. erne turned around to seeing that whole football team watching you two. eren just dropped his head in embarrassment as he just took his helmet off of the floor and walked to the locker rooms. ony and armin just looked at eachother before shaking their heads and preparing to walk to the locker rooms.

AN:

i got lazy with the colors at the end lol.. but i’m going to write what yall requested 😭!!

BVOTD!✝️

PSALMS 91!😽