#when the lived experience of a human is always gonna be much more eclectic
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btw any posts i tag âaestheticâ are specifically things i find visually bloodborne-y. a habit ive kept up from when this was a strictly bloodborne blog cuz im still following a million aesthetic blogs from back then
#i just like collecting bloodborne-themed images#the stuff i use that tag for isnt actually 'my aesthetic' or whatever. thatd look heaps different actually#im like a little goth i guess but the gothic thing is more something i like to look at#its not imagery id define myself by though#i still only use my queue for bloodborne-oriented stuff lol. anyways i just queued some stuff#idk why im talking so much abt this but like. i like pretty images and yet#i have strong feelings abt how the internet treats 'aesthetic' like a lifestyle/way to define oneself#when the lived experience of a human is always gonna be much more eclectic#and its more fulfilling to do the things that make u feel cool and happy#regardless of whether it fits your 'aesthetic'#because style is fun and cool and epic but visuals arent everything!#and it shld be a reflection of what makes you comfortable and like yourself. and not be restrictive
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Okay, so after last nightâs episode I would just like to say that Supercorp IS Endgame. Iâd also like to point out the various reasons as to why Kara and Lena are not only soulmates but true twin flames.
For those reading this post who have never heard of the term twin flame: âA twin flame is your own soul, shared across what appears to be two physical beings. Itâs one soul, split into two bodies.â -Googleâs definition.
For those who are spiritually inclined and have a proclivity for indulging esoteric philosophies; Lena and Kara are ABSOLUTELY twin FUCKING flames đĽđĽđĽ!!
Here are the reasons why:
1. Their drastically different childhoods that resulted in remarkably similar trauma.
Both Kara and Lena have experienced great loss throughout their life. Both mourned the death of their parents, and life as they knew it, at a very early age. Both were shipped off to a foreign land, forced to leave behind everything they knew, in hopes for a brighter/safer future.
Albeit, Lena got the shorter end of the stick in regards to unconditional love, but both were given a second chance and a new start...and yet, they still never fit in, or felt like they truly belonged.
Although they individually have dealt with said trauma in different ways (Lena by pushing away those who try to get too close, and Kara by holding on tightly to those she holds dear) both of their actions are motivated by the same subconscious fear that they HAVE never and WILL never TRULY belong. All while yearning for a sense of âhomeâ.
2. They are opposite reflections of each other; true âmirror soulsâ, if you will.
Physically, aesthetically, economically, and emotionallyâthey are complete âmirrorsâ of one another.
Kara is strong, physically powerful, cut from marble, all hard edges and sharp linesâexcept for her face. Lena is clearly not as physically powerful, she is soft, all curves, and exudes the grace of the Devine feminine energyâexcept for her face, which is hard edges and sharp jaw lines. You see what Iâm saying?
Aesthetically and economically go hand in hand of course. Lenaâs exorbitant wealth is evident in her high-end designer appearance; whereas Karaâs aesthetic is more humble and grounded, and prioritizes comfort over âfashionâ. (Letâs admit it. Some of Karaâs fashion choices have been questionable. She clearly rocks the chinos and button-downs better than anything else in that eclectic closet of hers she refuses to come out of đ)
Emotionally...oh honey. Do I need to say more? I wonât say much but I will say this: Kara is the sun and Lena is the moon. They compliment each other in a way that ensures the world keeps turning.
3. Their individual strengths are the otherâs individual weakness and vice versa.
Goes along with the aforementioned âopposite reflectionâ point above but Iâll expand a bit further in regards to their specific personality traits.
Lena is predominately analytically driven, whereas Kara is emotionally driven. Lena is good in crowds, Kara is not (overwhelmed). Lena is introverted, Kara is extroverted. Lena is detail oriented and has the memory of an elephant, Kara is clumsy and as forgetful as a Pisces (but hey, she has a lot on her plate and barely any free time to balance it). Lena eats like a rabbit-bird-hybrid and Kara eats like a garbage disposal. Kara loves giving and receiving hugs and other forms of physical affection whereas Lena does not (UNLESS itâs from Kara, of course). Etc. Etc. you get the picture.
4. Now this one is the DEAD GIVEAWAY. Undeniable, irrefutable PROOF that Lena and Kara are twin flames.
They are LITERALLY completing what is know as the Twin Flame Journey or the Twin Flame Union.
The stages of Twin Flame Union are roughly as follows:
1. Yearning for âthe oneâ. I think every human being that believes in love experiences this whether itâs throughout their entire life, or only their adult life until they meet this person but yeah. You get it. Kara has always wanted that âWapow!â moment.
2. Glimpsing/meeting âthe oneâ. Whether itâs only for a short moment, an extended meeting, or perhaps merely locking eyes with them as you pass each other by...you feel immediately connected. There is an instant soul recognition when meeting them, so much so that you could have sworn youâve met them before or that itâs as if youâve known each other your whole lives.
Remember when Kara met Lena? And she was gaga-eyed over Lena? Or when Lena felt so comfortable around a new acquaintance that she granted an almost stranger unbridled access to her office? Or how about when Red Daughter flew to America (the country she was taught to hate), with no recollection/memories of Karaâs relationship with Lena (again, the woman she was taught to hate), all because she felt PULLED to do so. And then when she did meet Lena she looked at her and practically drooled over her as if Lena was a double XL cheeseburger with extra special sauce from Big Belly Burger? Like, biiiitch đ
3. Falling in love. Need I say more? Fine, again, I will. You CANNOT tell me that there is no way in hell that these two morons are anything BUT in love with each other. Thatâs a lot of double negatives and I appplogize so let me reiterate for clarification: THEY ARE IN LOVE AND YOU CANâT CHANGE MY MIND!
And at this point is it so freaking BEYOND platonic love, the show cannot explain it away or sweep it under the âjust close friendsâ rug. No. Kara used her Fifth Dimensional Wish (she literally could have wished her entire planet didnât explode) and she said âmake Lena not mad at me, Iâm sad đâ đ. Mmmkay. Not to mention Lena picking Supergirl over Jack, her former lover. Or the plethora of other times Lena chose Kara/Supergirl over everyone else she knew. Mmkay.
4. The fairytale relationship/friendship. Lena has finally found someone she can depend on, be vulnerable with, support her without judgement, trust with her life etc. and Kara has finally found a true best friend, not her sister, not Kenny who she didnât realize was her best friend till after he passed? And now heâs not dead?? But her one true best friend that she felt she didnât need to be neither Supergirl, nor Kara Danvers, but rather Kara Zor-El around (despite Lena not knowing that little tidbit of information).
They were each otherâs best friend. Each otherâs person. They were happy.
5. Outer Turmoil and Inner PurgingâSupergirl and Lena fight. Lena still does not know that Kara is indeed Supergirl and does not pick up on the brewing tension between herself and Kara.
Kara of course is riddled with guilt and her relationship with Lena becomes strained. This outer turmoil creates inner purging by bringing out negative traits in each other. I.E. Lena hiding kryptonite and also Kara asking James to spy on her. Shit gets messy but they still try to make it work.
6. The Runner and the Chaser/Separation StageâTensions mount between the two and Lena FINALLY learns about Karaâs secret. And she has a choice to make. So what does she do? She runs. Not physically but emotionally. She completely withdraws from not only Kara and their friends but also withdraws from herself.
She literally experiences cognitive dissonance and becomes someone she is not. Someone other people made her believe she was on the inside, even though Kara knows that it isnât. And so, Kara chases her.
Lena becomes the runner and Kara becomes the chaser as they navigate this separation stage.
Continuously running and continuously chasing.
7. The Surrender and dissolution stageâtheyâre fucking done. Theyâre tired. Theyâre exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally after all the bullshit they put each other through as well as all the bullshit Lex and the Phantom Zone put them through.
They come to an impasse in regards to Lex and realize the only way to defeat him is to work together, as a team. (El Mayarah anyone?)
They surrender to their emotions and to each other as their egos dissolve and their souls expand after having learned invaluable life lessons. The major one being: THEY CANNOT LIVE HAPPILY WITHOUT EACH OTHER!
8. The last stage that we have yet to see but we fucking better or else Iâm gonna January 6 the CW studio buildingââOnenessâ.
This time, Iâm not gonna say more.
So, in conclusion: Supercorp is Endgame because Lena Luthor and Kara Zor-El Danvers are the literal definition of a twin flame, soulmate connection. They are the same soul, manifested in two physical forms, for the sole purpose of expanding their soulâs consciousness.
They deserve to be happy, they deserve to be together. Not only does their union parallel some of the greatest love stories throughout history, i.e. Romeo and Juliet, Darcy and Bennet, Superman and Lois (duh) it would also break the curse of generational karma and illustrate to anybody who watches the show that the only person who defines who you are is YOU. Not a name, not a legacy, not societyâs expectations, YOU. And most importantly of ALL...it would showcase that love truly does conquer all.
I rest my case.
TPTB, make Supercorp Endgame or kick rocks âď¸đ
Sincerely,
An empassioned fan with way too much time on her hands.
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Do you have any headcanons on veterans x reader on quarantine lockdown headcanons. Baking, Reading, Exercising?
Ohhhh I have so many! Thank you for this ask â¤ď¸Â One of these days Iâll master the art of answering a head canon question quickly and with shorter answers. But today is not the day! Thereâs a few nsfw bits under the cut. This is over 3k words....how??Â
MikeÂ
Mike is fond of long lay-ins, itâs what he lives for at the weekend. He loves you so much and enjoys nothing more than being comfy and snuggly under a duvet with you. Eating breakfast, watching Netflix, just chilling and enjoying one anotherâs company. So during lock down thereâs gonna be a lot of time in comfy PJâs lazing around in bed.
Mike loves cooking and cooking shows! The two of you have a date night once a week where you cook together. You always light some candles, listen to jazz and have a glass of wine or two while cooking. One week you try making your own sushi, the next itâs Jamaican curry, then itâs pizza night! Trying new things is something you both love (both in and out of the bedroom *cough* more on that later.Â
When restrictions are eased a little and youâre allowed to sit outside/drive for exercise, the two of you take a long countryside drive together and find a quiet secluded spot where you can sit and have a picnic and watch the clouds go by.Â
I see Mike as a guitar kinda guy, so heâll teach you if you donât play and if you do, the two of you will enjoy spending some time writing songs together and playing along to your favourite rock and indie tunes.Â
You enjoy watching live acoustic gigs and concerts which are being streamed by artists and comedians etc. Mike encourages you to get dressed up with him, you have drinks while watching and often end up dancing as if you were at a gig in person.Â
Binge listening to podcasts together âThe Magnus Archive,â âWelcome to Nightvaleâ and âMaMbBamâ being favourites.Â
Star-gazing. Sitting outdoors at night, during the day the two of you will spend time in your garden but itâs night time you really enjoy it the most. Sitting outside on a blanket and with another over you, you make sure all the lights inside are turned off so you can enjoy watching the stars, moon, planets, satellites etc above you. You often have a glass of wine or a cocktail as you sit out there, sometimes you fall asleep in Mikeâs arms so heâll carry you up to bed.Â
Finally Mike is very good at giving you personal space, while he loves taking up new hobbies with you and spending time doing things you love together, he also knows you both need your space. It makes the time you do spend together so much sweeter.Â
Erwin
Even though you donât need to go out to work, Erwin is still up early. When he wakes he showers and then prepares for the day by making you both a delicious breakfast. Think poached eggs, grapefruit, french toast, yoghurt and fruit etc. He likes listening to the radio over watching TV first thing in the morning so you have that on for a bit.Â
You enjoy daily workouts together (with Saturday or Sunday off). Erwin takes them unsurprisingly seriously, however, he does make them fun. The two of you will have little competitions with one another and Erwin creates a workout playlist for you - itâs an eclectic mix and includes songs that you both end up singing along to.Â
Erwin loves to play the Piano but due to his work he only usually touches it a few times a month if that. With lockdown he starts playing daily, thereâs a few times when you wake up and heâs already practising - it really is beautiful. Sometimes if he knows youâre watching he may stop playing, or at least change what heâs playing to something you know so you can sing along or join in. If youâre quiet though you can stand in the door for 5-10 minutes without him realising and heâll continue to play classical music.Â
As well as the home workouts you try to go out once a week for a run, as much as Erwin just wants to get on he would never leave you behind if youâre struggling to keep up and will wait for you (heâs a gentleman after all).Â
Canvas painting, sometimes Erwin struggles with getting out or showing his emotions, after doing virtual tours of art galleries online you suggest ordering a canvas, some acrylic paint and palette knives. Itâs amazing the level of emotion you see pour out of yourself and Erwin onto the canvas, itâs incredibly therapeutic so you order more canvasses.Â
The two of you really enjoy binge watching documentary shows - you know the second Tiger King came out Erwin was all over that. Thereâs this side to Erwin that not everyone gets to see, or at least when they do itâs very rare. But during lockdown you get to experience it more frequently, he really does have a great sense of human and likes to have fun. While he enjoys documentaries about WW2, science (Unabomber: in his own words is also on the list) things like Tiger King, Dark Tourist and Louis Theroux docs are also a guilty pleasure.Â
The two of you will spend some evenings laying chess by candle light with a glass of whiskey.Â
LeviÂ
I feel to say that youâll be cleaning a lot is a little obvious and I actually think that for the most part Levi would prefer to crack on with that on his own - it gives him peace of mind and itâs something he has control over. He enjoys itÂ
Together however, expect DIY Projects or painting/decorating. Thereâs things the two of you have talked about doing for ages and never gotten round to, now you have the perfect excuse. From painting a feature wall in your living quarters to making a little step wooden step ladder for the garden that you can put potted plants on. The two of you use your time to get creative around the home.
Dancing - the form of fitness you decide to take up is dance. At first Levi scoffs at the idea but then when he realises what a work out it actually is and how much strength and flexibility is required for some of the tutorials youâre following, heâs game. The two of you end up choreographing a dance together - itâs super cute (and hot in places - oops)Â
Youâre the kind of couple others are jealous of because you just work so well together, spending the perfect amount of time doing things together and apart.Â
Being a lover of tea, Levi decides to educate you on the many different types by subscribing to a âtea loversâ subscription box. You take the time to sit with him and really enjoy each tea, just talking with no noise from the radio or TV.
Levi likes to put together tapas or cheese tasting boards, he chooses the food for the main, you put together a starter or dessert and pick the wine that goes with the flavours heâs mixing. Together itâs like a perfect harmony. You set the table, light candles, listen to jazz and itâs almost as if youâre at one of your favourite restaurants.Â
Watching Horror movies, youâve probably seen every horror movie on Netflix, Amazon Prime etc. which is available to stream come the end of lockdown. Horror was actually how you met, you were at the cinema to see âHereditaryâ and none of your friends wanted to come with you so you went alone. Levi and his friends (the other vets) were in the same screen and sat next to you. So now Levi is strangely sentimental about horror movies. Thereâs cuddling up under blankets in the living room and plenty of popcorn along with movie themed cocktails.Â
Video calls to your friends, you do more of the talking but Levi sits by you throughout and occasionally joins in. Heâs loathed to admit it but he really likes seeing everyoneâs faces and hearing their voices.Â
Moblit
Moblit has a large collection of puzzles, a few were completed when he was younger but a lot of them arenât. He used to get frustrated with them but always wanted to finish them so he could frame them and put them up around the house. When lockdown happened you think itâs the perfect opportunity for the two of you to work on them together and help him out. Turns out itâs actually a lot of fun and a pretty good was
Baking! You both love the Great British Bake Off, before lock-down you were always talking about how you wanted to give the recipes a try but of course something else always came along. Now lockdown is the perfect excuse to order some ingredients online and get baking! The kitchen often looks like a mess, Moblit gets flour on his face and even in his hair? You donât know how it happens but you have a lot of fun doing it and hey what you bake usually turns out pretty good.Â
Subscribes to Disney+ the second it comes out - and the two of you binge watch your favourite Disney movies singing along to them (I get the impression Moblit would be a huge Hercules and Moana fan).Â
Watching Avengers Infinity War together and later on in the evening he turns to you and just says, âI love you 3000.â
Bike rides through the countryside (as long as itâs close to home of course and you can stay safe!)Â
You watch art shows together (like the still life drawing classes on TV or Grayson Perryâs art class). Shows which have been made specifically now for lockdown to help inspire people to take up new hobbies. Both of you are pretty inexperienced at art or drawing so you have a lot of fun watching the shows, following the instructions and seeing where your hand and pencil lead you. You both end up discovering your own unique style of drawing - this inevitably ends up doing a still life of one another (more on this later).Â
HangeÂ
Hange really struggles with lockdown, it makes them feel pretty anxious and they hate not being able to be out and about exploring/doing their job/learning new things etc. So Hanji needs quite a bit of love and looking after, care packages for the two of you go a long way so you order nice things in the early days of lock down. Hanjiâs eyes light up when you hand them what youâve ordered.Â
Loads of gaming, you both enjoying exploring other worlds along with fantasy so everything from World of Warcraft, Skyrim, The Outer Worlds, Outer Wilds to the Final Fantasy games, The Witcher and Assassinâs Creed are all up your street. Sometimes you play alone, sometimes you watch one another play while reading magazines. Often when playing WOW you play together and share a mount, heading into raids together and working as a team. Itâs not as good as being outside and exploring the world for real but itâs pretty close.Â
Loads of movie marathons with enough sweets to make you sick, especially the gummy kind like Haribo.Â
Hange - Arguments over who loves who more, itâs usually in the middle of a TV show that youâve been really invested in but now with the impending end of the world, itâs so easy to get distracted. The âargumentsâ usually end up in pillow fights and just laying in one anotherâs arms in silence.Â
Home made science experiments - yup, you knew this was coming. Thereâs so much you can try at home with simple house hold ingredients. Hange also orders kits online so you end up growing your own crystals (not the drug kind lol), making your own âvolcanoâ, making slime, dying flowers etc. At first you rolled your eyes when Hanji suggested it but actually it turns out to be a lot of fun and itâs pretty interesting, so you end up learning something. Hanji also orders DIY Sweet kits which are as fun to make as they are to eat.Â
When it comes to heading outside to clap for key workers the two of you are gonna be dressed up to make the children smile. Youâll be banging pots and pans or possibly have a kazoo or tambourine.Â
Nanaba
Thereâs loads of Gardening, itâs something the two of you always liked but found you didnât have the time you needed to commit to it as much as youâd have liked.Â
Cuddling on the grass in your garden, rolling around enjoying the sunshine and sun-bathing side by side.
The work out of choice for the two of you is yoga. You light incense and some candles as well as listening to mediation music and just take some time out to be alone with your thoughts - together. You both agree that stretching really helps you especially where youâre working from home, itâs so easy to get back ache!Â
The two of you love dancingÂ
Nanaba decides to take up quilting and crochet. Itâs something her mother and elder sister taught her how to do but is practically a forgotten hobby. You help one another to remember the basics and decide to make a giant patchwork quilt for your sofa. You work on it together so that thereâs a part of both of you in it, you take inspiration from your garden and the world around you, even though itâs a lot smaller than it was before. If either of you prick your finger the other is there to kiss it better.
Preparing relaxing baths for one another, you enjoy much of the bath on your own but sometimes the other will sit on the toilet and read aloud or just come in for a chat. Lockdown makes you more open with one another than you were before.Â
Getting into bed early before the sun has set, you keep the curtains open so you can watch the sky turn orange. Plenty of time in bed means you have time to binge watch the latest TV shows and not feel guilty about it if you have work the next day.
Witchy things - tarot card readings, candle magic, little rituals in the garden and kitchen witch magic like making dandelion honey or moon spell cookies.Â
Below are a few nsfw thoughts (I didnât write many but a couple kept bouncing around in my mind).
Erwin -Â
Sex first thing in the morning, the kind of lazy, sleepy sex that the two of you dream of having but never have time before work. Now, you do and Erwin intends to make the most of it.Â
Also shower sex, sometimes this follows the sex in the morning so by the time you finish work youâre already feeling tired. Often it follows the workouts you do and it doesnât take either of you long to cum seeing as watching one another get sweaty and flex muscles - the tension is unbelievable.Â
If you get too distracted during the work day, either by Erwin or TV (or if you distract Erwin too much) theyâll be punishments in the form of spanking and rough sex from behind, hair pulling and all. Itâs the first time you find yourself wanting to be punished.Â
LeviÂ
Sex in spaces youâve just cleaned, itâs sort of a punishment if you back-talk him as heâll make you clean up afterwards. Secretly he loves dirtying the sheets, itâs almost like an ultimate fantasy for someone who is so clean and neat, but he really has to be in the right mood for that.Â
Lockdown is a chance for the two of you to explore some of the sexual fantasies youâve discussed but never tried from light bondage (to start) and role-play.Â
Switching, in your relationship neither one of you is particularly the dominant or submissive one continuously, rather you enjoy switching, but when you are in the role you both take it seriously. Now youâre in lockdown and itâs easy to get bored, you both agree to really extent the roles on the day youâre both in the mood, you could lead Levi round on a leash and collar all afternoon and he wonât complain.Â
MikeÂ
Checking in on you as youâre working and trying to convince you lunch break sex is definitely a thing that will help you concentrate on your important presentation in your afternoon video conference. But of course he leaves you a bit of a mess and without a minute to spare so you appear on camera looking like youâve been dragged through a hedge backwards.Â
With Mike thereâs also a lot of time to get creative in the bedroom, you have longer in the evening to take your time exploring one another and discovering new positions youâd never have thought possible.
When lockdown goes on much longer than anticipated Mike decides to turn up the creativity a notch. A rather large unmarked parcel arrives containing a latex bed sheet and sex swing, so you know youâre not going to be getting a lot of sleep for a while.Â
MoblitÂ
Kisses that last for hours, the kind that start innocently and slowly you find yourself getting worked up and wanting more but Moblit continues to tease with those kisses and will pretend he has no idea why youâre worked up. However he does go weak at the knees if you praise him so thatâs usually the way to get what you want.Â
The still life drawings of one another start off fully clothed and very quickly become nude studies. You can only take it seriously for so long before he pounces on you or you on him and itâs like âthatâ scene from Titanic within minutes.Â
Endless, almost excruciating foreplay.Â
HanjiÂ
Has always liked to have fun in bedroom, with lockdown itâs more of an excuse to dress up and play around, Iâm thinking teacher & student or Doctor/nurse & patient. Hanji really gets into the role.Â
Science experiments continue to the bedroom, you decide to give the whole electro-stim thing a go.Â
Also with the DIY sweet kits thereâs also a little left, so popping candy, expanding foam candy and more are used to adorn your bodies - it doesnât stay on long as the combination of candy and sex is too irresistible to leave alone.Â
NanabaÂ
Sex outdoors, your garden is pretty secluded. It was something you talked about doing a lot but always found your weekends were too busy with friends and others that you just never got round to it. Thereâs grass stains on your knees and your clothes and youâd both wear them with pride outside the house if you could.
Bath tub sex, even if itâs a little uncomfortable itâs so intimate and personal that you donât care how much of a mess you make or how many bruises you end up with. Lockdown hits you both hard mentally and bath tub sex is a way of feeling better and cleansed.Â
Thereâs also a chance for some sex magic which involves wax play, again, something new youâd thought about for a while and now you both just wanted something to make you feel alive.Â
#snk vets#aot vets#snk x reader#aot x reader#Erwin Smith#Levi Ackerman#Mike zacharias#Mike Zakarius#moblit berner#hanji zoe#hange zoe#nanaba#erwin x reader#levi x reader#moblit x reader#hange x reader#miche x reader#mike x reader#nanaba x reader#asks#headcanons#writing#lockdown#nsft#fluff#lemon#miche zacharias
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A post Iâve honestly meant to write for years but kept putting off because I was overly concerned about whether or not people would be interested but I honestly donât care so ANYWAY: my Star Wars OCs
gonna toss this under a read more though especially since I plan on reblogging this a few times, so yeah
Also guess I should also have some semblance of organization, so Iâll do them in order of when I conceptualized them. The first four are all my core characters whom Iâve conceptualized as all generally hanging out on various escapades.
Deak Idanian
- Male Human of Corellian, Socorran, and Alderaanian descent
- Attended Coronet City campus of Corellia University with a major in xenoarchaeology focusing on anthropology with a senior thesis analysis of Pre-Republic primitive lithic weaponry points and their use. Also took correspondence courses in basic starship systems and was a hobbyist racer for extra spending money.
- has always had a passion for galactic history, particularly in those parts of the GFFA considered to be backwater. Unfortunately for him, Deak is prone to occasionally neglecting to fill out all pertinent legal documents before an excavation because of being too enthusiastic. Sometimes this neglect is rather more intentional than it should be especially if stealing it from under the nose of the legal claimant coincides with that legal claimant being a dickish private collector. This puts Deak solidly in the very large category of âsemi-legitimate field researcher,â which wasnât exactly his plan but thereâs worse he could be stuck doing.
- Related to the above, while he tends to try to work only for actual accredited institutions or for communities seeking repatriation, economic realities in the galaxy do lead him to working for less-than-legitimate clients as well. Or sometimes just for the hell of it. Retains a small personal collection of art and antiquities that he uses as a good source of income when jobs are few and far between.
- likes to think of himself as some sort of crack shot with a blaster. In reality, is more along the lines of Unchartedâs Nathan Drake and goes for the âtry to aim when I can but otherwise just shoot vaguely in the enemyâs direction and hope for the bestâ school of firearms training. Has a small collection of blasters he considers his own including Blastech A180, DL-44, and rifle model DH-17; and both a Merr-Sonn Power 5 and Model 434 Death Hammer.
- Hella bi, not a lot of past relationships but not exactly a dearth of them either. Has largely retained amicable relationships with his exes, though he doesnât talk to one ex-boyfriend who sold a Pre-Clone Wars Corellian battle helm Deak was preparing to donate in order to fund the downpayment on a new airspeeder.
- Eclectic tastes in fashion by some standards, is a big fan of the finer end of galactic fashion when it comes to dressing for business but often opts for basic durable spacer garments for casual settings and field research
- [started life when I was in middle school as basically me but as Indiana Jones as Han Solo. Last name was shamelessly stolen from the Legends EU while the first was taken from early drafts of the first movie. Now visually less brown haired white guy if you couldnât gather from his ancestry and the general trend in the ethnicity of the actors who have portrayed canon characters from those planets (hint: Han is Corellian, Lando is Socorran, and Bail Organa is Alderaanian)]
ELE-47G6
- Began life as an RA-7 protocol droid, externally still largely remains as such due to sheer number of potential surplus bodies in the galaxy. Internally upgrades wiring alongside each major generation of protocol droid, tosses an eclectic mix of military-grade wiring and sensor systems in when the occasion calls for it. Droid brain consists of a core of a Synthtech AA-1 Verbobrain with a TranLang III communications module with T-series tactical droid combat-analysis software installed in place of superfluous language software (which, for ELE, is anything that isnât linguistically related to Galactic Basic or Hutteses) mated to an Intellex VI R4 astro-agromech computer. There are at least three spares of this modified computational core squirreled away both on and off ship. Most notable external differences are the heavier duty torso plating and bulkier aftermarket legs that increase both height and mobility, and the fact that ELE sometimes wears a utility vest.
- Can interface with the ship directly in a secondary body of their own design. Said secondary body is an R4 unit with an old Clone Wars-era commando droid head and the arms of a KX-series security droid unceremoniously welded to one of the engineering stationâs stools.
- Does not bother with and was never programmed to have a specific gender; through decades of life with very few memory wipes of any sort has become rather fast-talking and fluctuates between feminine and masculine vocal modules within the same conversation and often the same sentence.
- Gets flirty with the crew and the passengers that tag along on certain jobs, both for the hell of it and to get something they want. ELE does generally consciously choose a gendered vocal module in these cases, going for some form of old fashioned holofilm stars and starlettesâ affected Mid-Inner Rim accent. Knows this works most often on Deak and regularly uses this fact to their advantage.
- [ELE was conceived of in my last couple years of high school, initially as a droid character in a potential fan film in which only one organic being survives a freighter crash on a deathworld thatâs also in the middle of a war zone and finds the head of one of the shipâs droids conscious but damaged enough to have fluctuating vocals as the deuteragonist. Obviously never made the fan film and actually fleshed out the droid character into something far better than that, I hope]
Kolgrahgth the Hutt
- A relatively young Hutt by his species standards (approx. 250 standard years old) Kolgragth is the owner and sometimes operator of both Krazy Kolâs Certified Pre-Owned Speeder Emporium and the Rusty Sparnacle tavern, a family-friendly dining establishment with tasteful Mon Cal oceanside resort decor. He is strictly above-the-table and by the books in all business and prides self on being a completely legal business-being of the highest breeding to the obvious point of personal flaw. Much to his chagrin however, his celebrity doppelganger is a younger version of the infamous Jabba and this perception does not only apply to members of other species who are prone to lumping all Hutts together, but to other Hutts as well. Kol does not enjoy this fact.
- while he himself sticks with the letter of the law in all business, he has no compunctions about the other crewmates operating in a less-than-legal manner as long as he doesnât get roped into their nonsense. As such he does not wind up taking part in very many major misadventures space-side
- Is the head of the local HOA, VERY vocal about violations in the color of exterior house trim and lawn ornamentation
- Kol is also an avid Loth-cat fancier and owns about 15 felines. He would never admit it to himself or the other cats, but his favorite is actual an elderly one-eyed neutered mixed-species former stray feline named Grand Admiral Biggles.
- [Came up with Kol roughly the same time as ELE, also much more one dimensionally. Originated from the thought âwhat if there was a Hutt whose biggest dick move was instating and running a homeownerâs associationâ. On another note that doesnât technically apply in-universe the same way as the rest of his backstory, despite the Disney-era Canon now stating that Hutts exist as a species in which some individuals produce one sex gamete or the other I have and always will personally stick with the old Legends EU approach of âHutts are giant sapient gastropods and as such are hermaphroditicâ]
Jasna Vintrakahs
- A Devaronian female who started her career path solidly on the wrong side of the law due to growing up in a poor formerly industrial city and the costs of genetic and hormonal therapies on Devaron being, at the time, exorbitantly out of range and the off-world options being more effective in a shorter time-span but still very expensive. Her greatest shame was stooping to bounty hunting and mercenary work to expedite her financial growth after transitioning, though she certainly appreciated and kept the skills and fun little toys that come with working in that field. Does now balance professional life on both sides of the legal line, but genuinely enjoys the rough and tumble fringe spacer life at this point due to more adventure and more interesting individuals. Also because itâs generally more accepted for a fringe spacer to nonverbally respond with the good old fashioned âfuck youâ that is a pair of knuckledusters when some stranger asks why sheâs a female Devaronian with horns than it would be for an accountant or a trader.
- Depending on the particulars of the job, will often undercut her competitorsâ bids on smuggling runs to the point of intentionally being deeply in the red. Doesnât do this out of a need to repent for her past but rather out of a deep sense of the rights of all beings to live a comfortable life free from external control by privileged outsiders and class traitors. Can usually count on Deak to find one of his less-than-legitimate antiquities obtainment jobs along the way or after delivery given the parts of the galaxy a lot of these vaguely humanitarian smuggling runs tend to be in.
- Captain of our merry band, or as much a captain as anyone can be in an eccentric group of friends and acquaintances. Okay, it really just boils down to sheâs the one who owns the ship, but when theyâre on-board everyone defers to her hard-earned experience. Passengers can be dicks, but thatâs what turning down the inertial dampeners in the guest berths during rough patches of flight is for.
- Met ELE by purchasing the droid as a gift to herself for retiring from bounty hunting, manumitted them after modifying them from near-stock protocol droid and gave them back-pay for the year it took to get to that point.
- Original ship was the Moldy Mynock, a twin-seat variant Incom Z95 Headhunter. Managed to keep this starfighter in such good repair and with a nearly pristine interior that a collector of vintage ships wound up paying close to double the original price. This made it pretty damn easy to purchase the ship that became the Starry Loth-bat, which started life decades ago as a YT 1200 freighter. By the time Jasna obtained it the ship had already become a haphazard blend of the base YT 1200 and a stock YT 1300, and eventually became a hybrid of a number of various YT models with some auxiliary gun ports on the forward starboard and port sides that were once TIE-series cockpits.
- When at home enjoys leatherworking (made Deakâs favorite satchel and ELEâs vest), traditional Devaronian blacksmithing (itâs handy to have a few blades on hand to use for barter in the Outer Rim), and pulp holoadventures. Which Jasna regularly takes the piss out of them for unrealistic tropes but is sincerely an avid fan of them.
- [Jasna started life as an unnamed female Twiâlek, then a male Twiâlek, around 2011-2012. Shifted to being Devaronian a couple years later, then shifted back to being a woman a little after that. Naturally, much like ELE, I am a bit nervous about having this character as she is. Iâm cis and as far as I can tell will always identify as such, so yâknow not exactly on the forefront of having the life experience of being trans to build off of. But on the other hand half the people I consider friends are trans, more trans characters need to exist, and gender as a whole is a fuck so Iâll be honest as a whole Iâm pretty comfortable with Jasna being trans. Iâm sure someone out there will read into the whole âgender of the character changed multiple times over the years I conceptualized herâ thing alongside me quantifying my cis status as being âas far as I can tellâ, to which I say...-shrug- eh, whatev. I wanted a trans OC]
A few unnamed ones that sort of exist in a void of âthere for world building, may expand their characters later
Torgorian barkeep with the equivalent to Janus cat syndrome, a Barabel mechanic, Fonzi Kaz and the Boys (a Rodian singer, Bith Dorenian Beshniquel player, Weequay touchboardist, and Gungan lutenist), and a Chiss lawyer. Thereâs also Jasnaâs partner whom I have not yet come up with a name for but sheâs a cis Twiâlek artist with prosthetics. And Iâm trying to come up with a good compelling Yuuzhan Vong OC too, though considering the dearth of them even now a full two decades after the NJO series began to be published I could probably go for a less compelling more stereotypical one for the first one and create a second one but yeah what Iâve got right now is extremely bare bones
#text#star wars oc#star wars#I have not RP'd in years and idk if I ever would rp these characters#honestly I may just start writing my own fanon eu stuff
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Lena Luthor x reader (Preventative measures, and one welcome threat)
a/n: no one asked for this one either but... Iâm gonna do the thing anyway just because, and I thought about how absolutely dumb it would be if you were this cool, unflappable bodyguard but youâd become profoundly useless the moment you saw Lena put her hair down or like, do something vaguely hot and youâd just... become totally non-functioning LOL
Anyway Iâm a trash person and I have trash ideas so hereâs the trash thing! Itâs not all that serious, I wanted it to be all fun and giggles lmao. This is really indulgent and like, six different levels of unprofessional but then I realized THIS IS FIC WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT YâALL!!! YAY!! itâs a little shorter and I think I can get away with making another part for it. Moreover though, I think Lena has had too many bouts with death and TBH I think she should just get a break dammit! Donât we deserve better than that? Maybe we do... ;)
- - - - -
You would never really consider yourself a storyteller, but youâre beginning to understand thatâs just what youâve become. For all the questions people ask about your job, you have just as many anecdotes that for some reason, people find just absolutely fascinating.
Yours is a humble beginning - no, you didnât always want to be a personal bodyguard. No, you didnât go to school for it. Yes, like most things that have occurred in your life, opportunities presented themselves and you took the chance.
In fact, when you were five years old you were convinced you were going to be an astronaut when you grew up... or a dog-walker. You certainly did not think youâd be someone who was hired for the sole purpose of protecting vaguely important people you really had no idea about, nor could care to know about.
The job, youâve realized in your own personal experiences, is a whole lot of rich people travelling around to gamble or to partake in other high-risk trade-offs, and still, you always think no one should have any right to carry around that much money, let alone own that much at all to warrant needing personal security in the form of another human being.
Still, it pays itself, and you couldnât find yourself complaining heartily about the injustices of the wealthy elite and their various extravagances when youâve made a comfortable life for yourself out of their paranoia.
As it was, you find yourself waking up at 5 in the morning for some ungodly reason you will never get used to - you know a good portion of your colleagues live for the thrill of going for a run in the early hours of the morning, rising before the sun and riding the high of productivity that a mere mortal civilian could never appreciate.
Perhaps, you think, that this logic made a mere mortal civilian out of you since youâve pressed the snooze on your alarm five times and youâve finally, but forcefully, shoved yourself out of your bed and onto your floor a good hour and a half later than you were ideally supposed to get up.
Still, even with your eternal vexation of having to be an early riser, you wake up significantly quicker than you think you would, and you give yourself credit for it everyday.
Your next assignment, youâve been informed, is not necessarily a direct request - rather, youâve been hired on behalf of someone else, which isnât uncommon. Youâve yet to find out if your presence will be a surprise to your actual client in question, but thatâs a problem for later, and thatâs what your superiors are for.
Youâre an armed bodyguard, and youâll be working full-time which means youâll be with your client for however long youâre required, and youâll be sticking around them 24/7.
With your duffle bag already packed and your suits cleaned and pressed, you make your way into your Range Rover after youâve made sure that your gun and your knife are both in their holsters hidden under your suit before you set off for the address thatâs been sent to your phone.
For someone with rather impressive credentials and an even more eclectic resume of personalities youâve been hired for, youâre still a little bit shocked when you discover yet another secret branch of the government - this time, youâve been hired by an organization called the âDEOâ, and you wonder just who exactly youâre supposed to be watching if every one of these agents is allegedly specially trained.
Youâve already been screened, processed, and vetted by the organization before they even considered hiring you through your company, who in their part were rather amenable to whatever the DEO wanted to do with you considering the hefty paycheck they were offering for your services.
Even still, you brandish your ID, your driverâs licence, and even your passport to the guards standing at the door, and watch as four guards examine your weapons, and two separate guards frisk your person for any other hidden contraband.
You take all your IDs out again for the people at the desk, and finally youâre escorted into a conference room lined with what youâre sure is a one-way mirror on all the walls where youâre sat across a tall black man with an inscrutable face.
Heâs got your file on the table in front of him and he only glances down for a moment before he stares at you silently.
You stare back sitting perfectly still and relaxed in your chair and recognize the tactic for what it is. You donât break eye contact with him as you wait for him to say something.
After what is seemingly a mildly uncomfortable amount of time to be silently staring at a stranger, the man speaks up and addresses you by name.
You nod your head in recognition and then he says, âWelcome to the DEO.â
âThank you, sir.â
âIâm sure you understand, the entire process is lengthy but it is to ensure the utmost safety not just for our client but for yourself as well.â
âThatâs understandable.â
âYou may have also noted weâve plenty of adequately trained agents here who would be more than qualified to do your job, but this is a matter of subtlety and weâve thought it best to outsource a security detail rather than risk one of our agents for this particular duty.â
You nod again in acknowledgement - in its own variably twisted way, youâve become used to being expendable, but thatâs where the matter of you having to be good at your job comes in, so that youâre not expended.
After the brief conversation, if you would even call it that, the man stands up and approaches you with a hand outstretched, and you meet him halfway. He gives you a firm handshake and he passes a small, folded up piece of paper into your hand as he does so, and you ball your hand into a fist, not blinking at the exchange.
He sends you off and you realize you donât know his name, but you suppose you donât really need to know, and this time you donât need to be escorted and you retrieve your belongings as you leave.
When you get back to your car, you unfold the paper and see just a singular thing written on it and you raise your eyebrows slightly at the sight. You rarely allow yourself personal opinions regarding your jobs, but you canât help the anticipation and the wonder in your mind as you consider your new client.
Youâre not exactly surprised, but your curiosity is getting the better of you gradually. You drive towards downtown with the tune of some Little Mix song stuck in your head for absolutely no definitive reason at all that you can think of apart from it just being a really damn catchy song, and you hum Black Magic quietly to yourself until you see the infamous âLâ on your target building.
You grab your own files and make your way inside the building once youâve parked in their lot, your eyes squinting minutely in scrutiny at the evident lack of security in the lobby, and the only person around to question you is a guard doubling as a receptionist.
You sign your name on the list and hand the guard your ID as she examines your signature before allowing you to go through, not at all bothering to check anything else of you.
You figure you have to go to the top floor, so you wait in the elevator as it takes you up. When you get out, you scan the floor quickly before you make your way toward the desk.
The secretary glances up at you and double-takes as if trying to determine your face. She furrows her eyebrows and you take the distraction to read the gold-plated name plate on her desk that says âJessicaâ.
You look back to her and you watch as her eyes blatantly trail up and down your figure, not once but twice, and her expression is otherwise unreadable apart from the slight quirk of her eyebrow when her gaze lands back on your face.
Sheâs silent for a moment before she speaks up, âMs. Luthor requires an appointment ahead of time, which is usually within a week or two depending on the urgency of the matter.â
You feel the scrutiny of her gaze again as her eyes trail over you again, and you clear your throat when you remember youâre supposed to say something.
âRight, of course. I guess it should be expected that my arrival is a bit of a surprise, sorry, here-â you say, as you reach for your business card, your official letter from your company, as well as your contract with redacted names of the DEOâs involvement and your ID.
You place them all onto her desk and she regards them with a look you know is pretty much universal of and who do you think you are exactly?, which is usually only ever present at the tail end of the sentiment that begs the question what nerve?
Her eyes never leave yours as she reaches for your papers, her eagle-eyed watch on you shifting with expressions of doubt and disbelief as she finally looks down and reads for a moment, taking note of the official stamps and signatures on your papers as she looks at your ID. Eventually, she puts it on her photocopier and waits.
âThese mean nothing,â she says.
Despite yourself, you smile widely at the observation as she continues.
âThese could all be fake, but at least Iâll have a copy of your alleged identity.â
You reply, still grinning, âI assure you, thatâs the least of my intentions, but I commend your diligence.â
She squints her eyes at you and the printer continues humming, obtrusively loud given the near dead-silence of the room apart from the printer. You see her jaw tick and she tilts her head imperceptibly, you know this as a slight act of defense.
âIâm not paid to trust anyone.â
You almost laugh, catching yourself before you do, and you just smile at her show of tenacity.
âI guess you and I have that in common then,â is all you say.
For what itâs worth, you think this secretary, Jess, is more than enough to make up for the lack of security downstairs. If you were a weaker person, you knew youâd crumble under her interrogative stare.
She merely hums in dissent as the copying finally finishes and she hands back your original, not before demanding you to sign and date her copy of your ID.
âDonât think you can just walk in here and pretend to be some third-party hire, Iâm not stupid and Ms. Luthor certainly isnât either - youâre not the only person with the lame, trite idea to do so,â she stares you down meaningfully and waits a moment to see that youâre still following.
She gestures vaguely to the space around her, âthere are cameras in every nook and cranny of these offices youâre not aware of, and they will be used as proof to corroborate any shenanigans you think you can pull, and I will personally build a case against you myself if you think to try anything out of line here.â
She shoots a hardened stare at you and you just feel the unspoken donât test me that pierces through you, and you really think youâre beginning to respect this secretary under all your amusement.
You nod your agreement and still try to assuage her aggression, but you know it might be for naught.
All she gives you is an unimpressed, âmhm,â before sheâs picking up her phone and looks at you disinterestedly as if to convey that your abrupt interruption has inconvenienced an entire empireâs worth of productivity.
âMs. Luthor, you have a guest just before your next meeting, Iâve deemed six minutes to be enough for this brief appointment,â she pauses, and then, âof course, Ms. Luthor.â
She hangs up and gives you the go ahead to walk into the office, but not before she sends you a final warning look and you nod in acknowledgement.
âThank you,â you say when you collect your things and make your way to the door.
You knock before a muffled âcome inâ is heard from the office, and you wait a moment before you open the door and go through.
Lena Luthor sits at her desk and types momentarily before finishing up whatever it was she was doing and she looks up at you, smiling pleasantly as she stands.
You know you donât show it, but your breath hitches just the slightest when you get a look of her face and her pale blue-green eyes take you in.
âTo what do I owe this pleasure?â she asks you.
âThe pleasure is mine, Ms. Luthor. My name is (Y/N), Iâm not at liberty to disclose anything at this very moment, but I do have several documents you can read to inform yourself of your new arrangement, and after then we can discuss any questions you have, should there be any outstanding,â you say as you hand the file folder to her, taking your cue as she motions for you to sit in the chair across her desk.
She looks at the folder questioningly and glances back up at you, an expression of total confusion on her face which tells you enough of her knowledge of the real reason for your presence.
Apparently, all itâs taken for her is one glance at your companyâs letterhead as well as the non-redacted version of the DEOâs contract for you before she sighs in recognition.
âI suppose this isnât totally out of left field. Iâve insisted this isnât required but it looks like theyâve deemed otherwise,â she says with a bit of a wry smile.
âI understand,â you say, and you do.
You donât really know what itâd be like to have other people making decisions for you, and now that you think about it, it is just a little bit messed up when other people get involved and make you do things without your prior knowledge.
You think you feel for her a little bit then.
âWell, now that youâre here, I donât intend on making this any more uncomfortable or unpleasant than it needs to be - this isnât exactly my first song and dance. If weâre going to be around each other for as long as we will be, we can skip the formalities, if youâre okay with that, that is.â
âOf course, Ms. Luthor.â
She cocks her eyebrow and smiles expectantly, you blink and clear your throat when you have to snap yourself out of your little daze.
âRight... Lena.â
She regards you a moment longer than necessary and smiles again, softer this time, and remembers herself.
âNow, I suppose I should let my secretary know Iâm still alive - though there is always that slim window of opportunity in which you severely harm me in the moment between now and when I walk towards my boardroom, but if you do spare me that, youâll see Iâll be dealing with an equivalent small death in the form of an unsavoury businessman,â she tells you as she moves to collect her belongings and your file which she places at the bottom of her pile.
You smile at her admission, âI could be wrong, but it seems as though aggressive vigilance is a trait shared between you and your secretary.â
Still, you take a mental of the alleged businessman and you wonder if you have to step in at all, but you figure thatâs not the type of tussle you need to get into.
You follow Lena as she walks through her door and she smiles at Jess as she passes by, Jess smiling back and instantaneously reverting to a neutral expression when her glance falls on you, and your mouth quirks slightly into a small smile.
She stops abruptly and youâre just several paces behind her when she sighs deeply, bracing herself for whatever this meeting holds and your day officially begins.
âMr. Heaton,â Lena greets the man in the room.
âLena,â he all but grunts back.
You take your place by the side of the door and you already feel mild irritation at the man.
You watch as Lena takes the manâs verbal pestering in stride and heâs practically hounding her, using poorly disguised intimidation tactics that youâre sure she can see through, and she continues to smile and correct the man when necessary.
Sometimes, and there are many instances, youâve seen a threat of a challenge rise across Lenaâs face, but itâs gone as quickly as you could spot it, and she merely leans further back into her chair which apparently only aggravates the man further.
You watch as he leers and begins to fall into taunts, downright refusing to entertain pleasantries as he presses harder and continues to push Lenaâs buttons in some low blow attempt at undoing her.
You realize then just how differently the businessmen youâve protected act around each other and how they act when theyâre around a woman who is not only their equal but could in fact be a superior.
You can only watch in growing distaste as you watch Lena duck and dodge each thinly veiled accusation and every unsolicited comment, and you know very well your job doesnât involve saving people from heckling in the form of business matters, but objectively, you wish you could knock this guy out into a sleep.
Still, youâre silent as you keep your post by the door, only able to watch the ordeal and you can only imagine how Lena must feel - she must be used to it by now, and somehow, the thought makes you more repugnant about the state of the world which really, is a bit of an impressive thing to do to you, as your being jaded of the current state of affairs leaves little room for surprise cynicism.
Before you can even contemplate the blatant injustices of corporatism and the workplace and society, Lena can probably detect your growing enmity radiating toward the other two occupants of the room and she cuts the meetingâs end, graciously thanking Mr. Heaton for his time and she will be in contact with him within the next month or so.
You watch as he gets up slowly, ogling Lenaâs figure shamelessly and the tension gets heavier when neither refuse to extend a hand for a handshake.
He merely moves to leave after heâs done eyeing her, and then he looks at you, but youâve already moved your gaze politely toward a spot on the wall ahead of you.
He moves in a way that will force your look, you pull your gaze to meet his and your jaw involuntarily clenches at the sight of him and his unwarranted arrogance.
You tilt your head slightly in challenge and in question, wordlessly beckoning him both to walk away but also to try something on you, just so you can feel some satisfaction of roughing him up just a little bit.
He opts for the smarter option and moves on without further fuss, and seemingly both you and Lena relax at his departure.
âNever again, please,â Lena says to no one in particular as she rubs at her temples.
She turns her chair to face you, and then sheâs got her face in her hands as she inhales deeply. The rattling from your suit jacket makes her look up and you hold out a small migraine pill bottle to her and she smiles.
âDo you honestly carry that around everywhere or is that just for me?â
âNot necessarily, I could benefit from them too.â
She huffs a small laugh at your remark, âstrange, I thought you were all supposed to be elite super-soldiers with no ailments, or without ties to the human condition.â
You smile easily, âthat might be easier, but then thatâd take away the basic human element of compassion, and I think thatâs a pretty integral part they donât teach you when youâre meant to be protecting peopleâs lives with your own.â
âYou make it sound like itâs not about the money,â Lena says cheekily.
âOh, donât get me wrong, the money is so great,â you say as you smirk conspiratorially. âBut itâs easy to get jaded and lose track of yourself and the big picture - the difference between me and a machine is that I choose to do this.â
âDonât you ever think what you do isnât worth it?â she asks.
âOften... more than Iâd willingly admit. Majority of the time, my presence isnât âworth itâ or really necessary. Iâm usually just for peace of mind, and I think thatâs well worth it to be safe than to err on the side of risk.â
She looks at you and is silent as she thinks of your observation, before she smiles again.
âRight, of course,â she says dubiously.
âAnd I mean, usually Iâm hired by people to protect them or their things or whatever else you could think of. You start to see a pattern if you do this enough times, you get to see what really matters to people when they think theyâre in danger.â
You pause, realizing you might be speaking just a little out of line, but you canât really go back on it now.
âI think, in this case, if nothing else comes from me being around you, I think one thing you can take from this is that there are people out there who care a lot about you and want the best for you.â
Lena looks at you and searches your face, her expression significantly softer than youâd seen it throughout the entire meeting.
âAnd youâre saying youâre the best?â she finally asks jokingly.
âThat would be your words, not mine,â you grin at the jest. âI can only try to be better than I am at this moment.â
She hums in consideration, smiles at you again.
âAlright, poet, how about we get through the rest of this day and you can tell me all of your ruminations of life after.â
Before you know it, sheâs stood up and gathered her belongings, walking swiftly past you and you fall in step behind her.
The remainder of the day is spent with no more aggravations, the rest of her company and her tasks are much more agreeable than the one unruly man you unfortunately had to witness that morning.
Lena insists that you sit on the couch, or at the very least pull up a chair beside the door if you really ought to be right there, but you decline and instead opt to switch up your posts in a way that is still in a good proximity to the door and with your eye to her balcony.
You begin to get the idea that perhaps youâre making her a bit nervous, and you concede and feel guilty about distracting her when you glance towards her, but sheâs still typing away steadily at her computer, occasionally pausing to write notes.
Sometimes, you catch her gaze, and sometimes she catches yours, and more and more often youâre both just glancing at each other and the day passes with the cyclical give and take.
Eventually, itâs time to go home, and youâre rather surprised the infamous CEO Lena Luthor is going home at a decent time, but you decide to keep your presumptions to yourself.
When you reach the parking lot, you look up at the sky under the guise of taking in the night, taking note that there is very minimal possibility of some aerial attack.
You look around the parking lot and feel mildly uneasy about the vastness of space where you can just see all the possibilities of an ambush and how they would pan out.
Still, it remains quiet and Lena walks wordlessly beside you, the light rhythmic tapping of her heels the only sound that you can distinguish.
You scan your surroundings only moving your eyes, using the most of your peripherals and not bothering to turn your head as you walk calmly to your SUV.
You raise a hand to gesture Lena to stop - youâre alone on this task, and you figure if something were to happen to your car at this moment, having Lena in such a close proximity is a bit of a moot point, but you figure at least youâll have her in your sights.
You turn your back on her briefly, wanting to make this quick - you get to the ground swiftly and check under your car with a flashlight, searching for some telltale flashing or anything out of place behind your tires, in the rims, anywhere else something can be hidden.
You glance to see her heels still near you, and when you get up she looks at you with perplexity and vague amusement, but she thanks you nonetheless when you open the car door for her.
She gets into the backseat and you lock the door briefly - you know that the habit is a bit pedantic but you also know if there are people who are as equally skilled as you are, all they need is just a few seconds of opportunity for everything to go haywire.
Still content that youâre alone in the lot, you unlock your car again and get in quickly, locking the door again and turning on the ignition in one fluid motion before youâre driving away from the lot.
Seemingly instinctively, you start humming to yourself again, and itâs still the same song youâve had stuck in your head all day and you wonder if youâll go to sleep with that as your final thought.
You drive around several blocks to see if anyone could be following you, but when youâre satisfied that no one is going to spontaneously tail you, Lena finally fills the silence.
âYouâre not lost, are you?â
âNo, Iâve memorized several different routes to take in varying emergencies, and I have a few back up plans for several worst case scenarios.â
âThere can be more than one worst cast scenario?â Lena asks.
You take a very brief moment to glance in the rearview mirror at Lena and give her a small, tight-lipped smile. You look away again and scan the streets and the sidewalks, looking for something you might not find - and you hope you wouldnât.
âHave you ever had to kill someone?â
You smile and shake your head. Her small talk really gets straight to the point, but you entertain her.
âNo, I havenât. Iâve drawn my weapon a handful of times though, can count the instances on one hand. Thatâs like the last thing you should do, and shoot only when our lives are in immediate danger.â
Lena hums, and then, âthat must be quite scary for you. I donât know how youâd deal with that.â
Involuntarily, you recall the ordeal with Lena and the Venture explosion, and the whole debacle of her brotherâs attempts on her life and how sheâd shot an assassin in a police uniform.
You look up into the mirror and see her gaze fixed outside her window.
âWell, you do what you have to do to survive. Itâs not just self-preservation, itâs going against every instinct of your being thatâs telling you to be fearful and to be at the mercy of your peril. Surviving against the odds means having to be your own hero in your most dire moment.â
Lenaâs quiet for a moment, and you start to wonder if youâve said too much.
âIs that how you manage your feelings with your job?â
âI just convince myself the money is worth it,â you say jokingly.
âI donât believe you do it because of that though,â Lena says, and you glance into the mirror again and catch her gaze.
âYou may think you do it because of the money, and you think your mask of selfishness can safeguard you, but personally, I think what you do is one of the most selfless acts of service.â
Youâre quiet for a moment and you ponder Lenaâs remarks. You appreciate it, and you understand it, but you donât want to admit what it might really be - you havenât wanted to admit it aloud for a long while.
âOr itâs just the reckless disregard of my life,â you mutter softly.
You donât think Lenaâs heard you when she says nothing, and itâs quiet for another moment before she speaks again.
âWhatever it is, you still do it because you choose to and not because youâve been programmed to. The difference between you and a machine is that you can fathom gratitude, and the reward, and the risk and consequence of doing what you do. However way you twist it, that seems like the markings of a hero, donât you think?â
You continue driving, your eyes still scanning your surroundings and even without the distraction of vigilance, you donât think you have anything of substance to reply to Lena.
Thereâs a lull in the conversation and you hum the song thatâs been stuck in your head all day, the steady rise and fall of your chest as you breathe putting you in a calm state of mind - youâre close to Lenaâs loft.
âI didnât take you for a Little Mix fan,â she says suddenly, and youâre overcome with the sudden, overwhelming desire to punch yourself in the face for how instantly you blush at her comment.
âI didnât take you for one to recognize a song,â you retort, hoping you donât sound too defensive.
You donât need to look up in the mirror to hear Lenaâs smile when she replies.
âNot me, no. Itâs my friend, Kara. She has such an affinity for pop music and boy bands and girl groups.â
You huff in laughter and clear your throat, more than relieved to be pulling up to the private parking entrance below the building.
When you park in the lot she points out, you do your routine of getting out first and locking the door, checking around you, and unlocking the door and letting Lena out when your evaluation of the place is to your standards, and she thanks you again as she gets out.
She leads the way as you get into an elevator that will take her directly to the loft level, and you wait with your suits and your duffle bag in hand.
When she stands in front of her door with her key in hand, she waits expectantly and with great humour, watches as you acknowledge her silently.
You put the hangers for your suits in your mouth and bite down to hold them, your duffle bag hangs on your shoulder as you brace with your one hand hovering just near your concealed gun and the other in the ready position for an attack.
You look ridiculous, refusing to let her carry any of your belongings, and when she unlocks the door, you make quick work of going through without busting her door and you inspect the immediate area because you just never know.
You canât ever get out of work mode, but Lena practically forces you to be casual when she walks past you with a smirk on her face and moves to take her coat off and shuck her heels off in one motion.
You decide itâs finally time to stop looking dumb and you take the hangers from your mouth. You look around the loft most definitely by virtue of having to know the space well and not at all to take in whatever personal stories you can parse from Lenaâs home.
Lenaâs voice comes from somewhere down the hall, âI wasnât expecting a sleepover tonight, you can go ahead and order whatever food youâd like, Iâll foot all the expenses.â
You feel yourself flush again and you wonder if it was just absolutely necessary for her to word it like that, but you still linger around the space and wait for something to do.
âYouâre like a vampire, arenât you? Am I to invite you to do everything? You can put your belongings away, you know,â she says as her head pops up from around the corner, her eyes teasing as she watches.
âOf course,â you say, but you still donât move.
Youâre quickly becoming aware of how really useless you are not only when pretty girls are concerned, but when pretty girls are concerned and youâre meant to be around them in a job setting, but the entirety of you is wishing for circumstances that were anything but a job setting.
You ought to reel yourself back in; you know quite well how your superiors would react if they caught wind of your current misgivings.
You stand up straighter and fix yourself in an attempt to snap out of whatever inappropriate reverie youâre in, and youâre still standing awkwardly near the front door when you see Lena again in sleeping shorts and a loosely hanging shirt.
She looks at you quizzically when she sees your stare, an amalgamation of question and realization when she seems to figure out your expression.
âDarling, donât tell me you thought I slept in business attire?â she says teasingly.
Youâre slowly losing most of your senses and youâre reeling at her term of endearment, and you donât even realize sheâs come up to you until sheâs just under your gaze - sheâs a bit shorter now without her high heels.
âNot all of us sleep in our formal suits,â she says as she pats you on your chest. Your eyes widen even more and you donât realize youâre holding your breath until she saunters away, smirking at your apparent uselessness.
âAnd please at least set your things down, youâre making me nervous just standing there for as long as you have.â
Finally, you concede and you find the least intrusive place to put your duffle bag and your suits. Lena gives you a slightly admonishing look when you let your suits crinkle on their place in a chair, and she takes them wordlessly and hangs them in her coat closet and eyes you meaningfully to make sure you donât take them back.
After a round of polite, but suspiciously playful bickering about delivery choices that feels too familiarly domestic, Lenaâs finally convinced you to sit on her sofa and youâre eating pizza on the farthest end of the couch as she looks on at you amused between commercial breaks of whatever TV show sheâs left on.
Sheâs allowed herself one glass of wine tonight, to which youâve adamantly declined for yourself and she doesnât give too much of an argument.
At some point in the night, Lenaâs fallen asleep curled up on the couch and you saw the progression of it but still didnât say anything. Now, you canât exactly suggest for her to transfer to her bed, and you most definitely will not carry her there, but you contemplate the pros and cons and even you know rather well how inconvenient a sore neck is from an uncomfortable sleeping position.
Youâre a coward, however, and instead of waking up a peaceful slumbering woman you opt to just take the blanket thatâs draped over the couch behind you and put it onto her sleeping form, and you suppose itâs safe enough to just stand up to get her a glass of water.
When you come back with the water and have shut off the rest of the lights in her loft, sheâs murmuring in her sleep and breathing slightly erratically.
You merely watch and wait for it to subside, but she only gets louder and more distressed, and you realize sheâs having some sort of bad dream and you move to rouse her from it when she wakes fully and sits up roughly to get her bearings.
Her breaths come fragmented and hollow when she looks around her, and she startles before realizing who you are and you suspect that your hovering presence is probably not the most comforting sight in a dark room after having a nightmare.
âSorry,â you murmur quietly, âI was just getting you water, I guess you were having a bad dream.â
Lena just rubs a hand over her face, and you can see the exhaustion in her eyes illuminated by the TV light. You hand her the glass without another word as you take your place beside her.
She thanks you softly before setting it on the coffee table after sheâs taken a sip.
She moves to lay down on the couch again and youâre just a little late in remembering to use your voice, but you think you know better than to appeal to a sleepy woman and you just let her fall asleep beside you.
Youâve left your gun and knife stuffed into your side of the sofa in between the cushion and the couch.
You took off your jacket and dress shirt some time in the evening and it left you in a white tank top. You know better than to sleep in your suit pants, but you just canât bring yourself to change into something else - not when youâre fine as you are anyway and itâs not totally imperative to sleep in something comfortable.
You suppose youâre not going to do much sleeping anyway, which is a bit of a bad idea especially on your second day of the job, but thereâs a plethora of reasons why you canât sleep and these reasons will keep you up for an undetermined amount of time.
Eventually, somewhere between 4am and 5am you suspect, you finally fall asleep sitting up with your arms crossed and your head leaning back against the couch.
At 6am, you open your eyes just briefly to find Lenaâs changed positions in the night and her head is pressed up against your leg, and you grin sleepily as you fall back to sleep.
About an hour or so later, you wake up to some commotion and your eyes snap open, you stand up quickly and realize that was probably not the best thing to do the very first thing in the morning.
Lenaâs gone, but you smell something coming from the kitchen and you turn around and see her working around the space, coffee and a plate of food in hand and she finally notices your figure.
âI suppose one con of working for me is having to get up when I do,â she says in jest.
âThereâs coffee, I donât think Iâm complaining,â you say hoarsely, your voice still rough with sleep.
You watch as she works easily, her hair tied up in a messy bun and her shirt just a little lopsided as it hangs off a shoulder. You know youâre staring, but youâre waiting for her to tell you to come over and sit.
She feels your gaze on her and smirks when she looks up, raising her eyebrows slightly in expectation as she tilts her head to beckon you to get over here.
You decide youâre a little bit too sleep deprived to deal with whatever hold Lenaâs apparently got on you, and the whole point of you is to make sure nothing surprises you, but this is a fight youâre willing to concede.
You sit down tentatively and she smiles, her gaze lingering on you unabashedly and she nudges a cup of coffee to you.
You regard her soft, pale eyes trailing over you. Youâre captivated by how objectively beautiful she looks, a total juxtaposition of the sharp, cultivated lines of power and grace youâve seen of her business look.
You can merely sit there wordlessly and watch her taking you in.
âHow do you like it?â
âWhat?â your eyes widen and you try to ignore the blush thatâs rushing to your face - somehow, youâve successfully managed to trip over one simple word.
Lena smiles widely, an eyebrow raised in what you realize is a look youâve seen too often and one that could very well cause trouble for you.
âYour coffee, how do you like it?â she elaborates.
You blink owlishly at her and then your eyes snap down at the cup.
âRight, uh, just two cream one sugar.â
Lena still hovers near you, leaning closer as she reaches for the cream and sugar containers and your eyes widen again with bated breath.
You know for certain Lenaâs aware of your inner turmoil, what with her hyper-focused attentiveness on you, and you thank her feebly as you take a drink and try to make you burning your tongue on it look gracefully intentional.
Youâre a mess and you both know that.
âAre you ready for another day with me?â she asks innocently enough when sheâs finally sat down near you.
No, this is more difficult than Iâd thought, and for entirely different reasons, you think.
âOf course, hopefully itâs as smooth sailing as yesterday,â you manage to say.
You think you should pat yourself on the back for your great effort of composure, and youâve got this. Youâre finally getting back into the swing of things and doing your job like you were meant to.
Just then, Lena winks at you and smiles behind her coffee cup, and the crashing revelation of you donât got this comes falling all at once and you inhale sharply at her teasing.
You smile back - perhaps itâs more of a grimace, in reassurance and Lenaâs eyes dance with mirth.
She picks up a piece of french toast with her fork and you demand your entire body to ignore the elegant fluidity of her motion - however, that requires physically moving your entire self away which is more work than you care to do at this time of the morning, so you concede to watch, fixated and entranced.
You have to tear your eyes away when your gaze lands on her lips. Frankly, youâre quite impressed by how close you are to falling off your chair even when youâve been completely still, but itâs when her tongue comes out and licks the maple syrup from her lips that makes you feel like the entire Earth is shaking.
You understand, then, that you have only two options to deal with this arrangement, and it goes as such: you can make things difficult for yourself and deny every blatant reaction you feel to literally anything Lena does, or you can go along for the ride and fight worthier battles.
You concede to the latter and watch as Lena still misses the drip of syrup thatâs fallen a little below her lip, and you wordlessly get a napkin and reach over to her slowly, her eyes widening imperceptibly as she watches you approach.
You bring your hand close to her mouth and linger, making eye contact with her and grinning slightly before you wipe the errant syrup away.
Lena looks at you, her jaw slightly slack, as you lean back and continue to work through your breakfast, smirking at your own apparent hold on her, and you really wonder just how much more interesting this job will get.
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The Cosmologist Working to Preserve the Night Sky for the Future
As 2020 draws to a close, Dr. Aparna Venkatesan is struck by how her personal experience of griefâset against a year of collective mourningâhas changed something fundamental in her life: the way she looks at the Moon.
Venkatesan, a cosmologist at the University of San Francisco, lost her father in March; a man she described as âmy lifelong best friendâ and âone of my greatest alliesâ in a call.
âI think all girls should have a dad like that,â she said.
With international borders locked down in response to the pandemic, Venkatesan was not able to mourn her father alongside his community in India, where she grew up bouncing from city to city as the only child of enterprising parents. But though the wound is deep, she has found solace in the lunar cycle, which she calls her âgrief calendar.â
âMy father passed at New Moon,â she said. âAs somebody who is a pretty rational scientist, the Moon cycles have become enormously important this year for me. Every time there's a New Moon, itâs like: âI'm eight lunar cycles past when I lost this beloved friend; I'm nine lunar cycles past.â It's become huge.â
âThe Hindu death rites happen monthly in the first year after they pass awayâit's a lunar calendar,â she added. âIn a way, that's brought me back to my culture.â
For Venkatesan, the human relationship to the Moonâand to the night sky as a wholeâis enriched by the cross-cultural diversity of perspectives on the meaning and value of the expanse beyond Earth. Though she is an expert in the otherworldly phenomena of the early universe, an era that is distant in time and space, Venkatesan also wants to protect our collective bond with the skies close to home.
To the dismay of many astronomers and skywatchers worldwide, the deployment of satellites in mega-constellations, such as SpaceXâs Starlink, creates bright scars across the night sky due to the sunlit glare of the spacecraft. In addition to this light pollution in orbit, the Moon is getting more visitors: NASA hopes to land humans there this decade as part of its Artemis program; China has placed three missions on the lunar surface since 2013, and India and Israel recently attempted Moon landings that ended in crashes.
âBy 2025, near-Earth space, the night skies, and the Moon will be permanently altered in my opinion,â Venkatesan said.
This is profoundly troubling to her not only from a scientific point of view, but because she is an ardent defender of marginalized communities, especially Indigenous peoples, whose astronomical traditions are at risk from busier skies. In an article published in Nature Astronomy last month, Venkatesan and her colleagues propose that we need âa radical shiftâ towards âthe view of space as an ancestral global commons that contains the heritage and future of humanityâs scientific and cultural practices.â
For Venkatesan, the idea of space as an ancestral realm has a special relevance this year, as she looks at the New Moon in a new way. But it is also a natural progression of her fascination with, and respect for, the codes and secrets of the universe, which was sparked in childhood.
âI always loved math, as the universal language,â she said. âI also really loved the night skies, despite growing up in extremely congested, polluted, major cities in the tropics.â
As a teenager, Venkatesan applied to Cornell University to pursue her budding love of space, and remembers the suspense as she waited for the response (her acceptance letter was eventually delivered by telegram). The adjustment to life in small-town New York had some initial rough patchesâVenkatesan missed her parents, and wished sheâd listened more to her motherâs cooking tipsâbut she cherished the overall experience and her familyâs pride when she became the first woman to receive an undergraduate degree in astronomy at the university.
âWhen my father came to my graduation at Cornell, he cried,â Venkatesan recalled. âHe was like: âLook, I could spend years in these libraries.â He loved Cornell's libraries. I had very encouraging parents and I really commend them, given what a conservative society we are.â
Under the guidance of her advisor Steve Squyres, a prolific planetary scientist, Venkatesan spent much of that first degree combing through observations of Venus taken by NASAâs Magellan orbiter, which studied the planet from 1989 to 1994. The work was thrilling, as sometimes she would be the first human ever to behold a part of Venus as new data flowed in on her overnight shifts.
When she arrived at the University of Chicago as a graduate student, she shifted gears to focus on big cosmological questions: When were the first stars born? What is dark matter? What is the precise source of all the elements?
âI was eager to work in cosmology because I had gone to Cornell to do that, but ended up, you know, working on literally the nearest planet,â Venkatesan said. âIt was time to go back to the other end of the universe.â
With the help of dedicated mentors like astronomer Jim Truran, who she said taught her an âintegrative approachâ to cosmology, she learned to appreciate the whole spectrum of evidence about our cosmic origins, from the light of long-dead stars to the elements that make up our bodies.
âThere are some lovely puzzles in lithium, calcium, carbon, and titanium that we don't understand, when we look at the element abundances in the oldest stars in our galaxy, or even just in galaxies,â Venkatesan said.
âLook, I'm never going to get tired of looking at ancient light,â she continued. âIt is a visceral thrill to say: âOh, my God, when light left this galaxy, cyanobacteria hadn't even begun on Earth or the oceans, or maybe the Earth wasn't even around.â I'm never gonna get tired of that. But the elements are here, in a very real way. We are the evidence.â
After earning her PhD in Chicago, Venkatesan served as a research associate at the University of Colorado, Boulder, for a few years, before becoming the first female professor of physics at the University of San Francisco. Since 2012, she has also participated in the Arecibo Legacy Fast ALFA (ALFALFA) collaboration, which involved accompanying students to study at Puerto Ricoâs Arecibo Observatory.
Venkatesan under Areciboâs dish. Image: Aparna Venkatesan
Like so many people who loved Arecibo, Venkatesan was heartbroken when it collapsed earlier this month after multiple cable malfunctions. She has countless fond memories of the iconic observatory: celebrating the 21st birthday of a student during an observation shift, listening to nocturnal frog calls in the dense misty foliage under the dish, or watching the Southern Cross constellation illuminate the Caribbean skies in the crepuscular hours before dawn.
âThe science of working there is just unparalleled and I loved the people of Puerto Rico, both the observatory staff and the people beyond the observatory,â Venkatesan said. âI also really loved the scientists who live there year round. I mean, these people were on-the-ground geniuses: they could listen to the hum of the telescope and tell you which panel or receiver was off.â
âAll observatories have this magical mystical side to themâyou can't help but feel it, being out under this glowing sky, taking dataâbut Arecibo had it more than most,â she added.
For Venkatesan, Arecibo is one of many beloved elders that we lost this year. As a busy mother of two teenagers, she is juggling new school and work challenges like so many during the pandemic, but she has managed to find moments to work through the grief by remembering loved ones lost, and cherishing those who remain.
During our call, she talks about many of her mentors and inspirations over the years, heaping praise and gratitude on these bright stars in a dark night. The list includes her parents, her professors, the Moon, Arecibo, and the redwood forests of California.
But an elder that sticks out in particular, at the nadir of 2020, is blues musician Blind Willie Johnson, who suffered racism, poverty, and illness until his death in 1945. Venkatesan has an eclectic musical taste and a passion for singing across genres, but she is particularly keen on Johnson, whose haunting voice reverberates with the transcendent sorrow that shaped his life.
As she often tells her students, Johnsonâs song âDark Was the Nightâ is on the Voyager Golden Record, a repository of sounds and images from Earth carried by NASAâs twin Voyager probes, which have passed into interstellar space. On this Monday, the winter solstice and the darkest day of a harrowing year, the song has special resonance.
âThe blues is so beautiful,â Venkatesan said, âit's actually left the solar system.â
The Cosmologist Working to Preserve the Night Sky for the Future syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/
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Coming of Age.
Thereâs nothing like a good coming of age film, as the Letterboxd community has recently demonstrated. From Rebel Without a Cause to Stand By Me to Boyhood, thereâs something about the transition from youth to adulthood that gets us right in the feels. (Get it perfect and youâll hit the Academy in the feels, too: hello, Moonlight.)
The last year has seen a great run of coming of age films: Moonlight of course, along with Hunt for the Wilderpeople, American Honey, The Edge of Seventeen and Mustang.
And now a new wave is now rolling in, notably: Greta Gerwigâs Lady Bird, Luca Guadagninoâs Call Me By Your Name, Kevin Phillipsâ thriller Super Dark Times, and, to a certain extent, Todd Haynesâ Wonderstruck and Sean Bakerâs The Florida Project.
Letterboxd caught up with Gerwig, Guadagnino and Haynes at the recent 55th New York Film Festival; what follows is a combination of press conference and Letterboxd-specific questions about comings-of-age and memorable movies.
Greta GerwigâLady Bird
Gerwigâs first film as the sole writer-director, Lady Bird stars Saoirse Ronan as the title character, a spirited Sacramento high schooler who feels destined for greater things on the East Coast (âLady Birdâ is the fanciful name she gives herself; her parents know her as Christine but humor her nevertheless).
Although Lady Bird features many of the tropes familiar to American high school moviesâprom, losing oneâs virginity, best friend fights, wrong-side-of-the-tracks class comparisonsâtheyâre handled in a fresh way, a deft balance between comedy and drama. Inspired by, but not directly drawn from, her own upbringing, Gerwig says, âIt was a love letter to Sacramento, and I felt like what better way to make a love letter than through somebody who wanted to get out and then realised that they loved it.
âIn a way itâs secretly the motherâs movie as much as it is Lady Birdâs movie. Somebodyâs coming of age is somebody elseâs letting go. And I was just as interested in the letting go as I was of the young peopleâs stories.â
Like many of its coming-of-age predecessors, such as Pretty in Pink and Blue is the Warmest Colour, Lady Bird has a strong class narrative running through it; a purposeful inclusion by Gerwig, who greatly admires English filmmaker Mike Leigh.
âClass is a very difficult thing in America,â she says. âWeâre uncomfortable with class and how that works but I think itâs something thatâs an invisible force that shapes a lot of peopleâs lives.
âLife is not fair, and resources are not divided fairly, either in talents or in economics. [âŚ] One thing that I wanted to explore is: Lady Birdâs always looking up at other people, and people she thinks have more, and have it all together, and meanwhile those people are looking up at other people. And she doesnât see how much she has, because in a culture of âmore more moreâ and âI always need to get to the next levelâ, thereâs no way that you can appreciate what you have.
âItâs that disease of always looking up and never being where you are.â
On the challenge of directing, Gerwig says her acting experiences stood her in good stead: âOne of the reasons is that most directors only ever are on their own sets! They donât actually know how anyone else does it. And Iâve been on a lot of sets, and Iâve seen a lot of different ways of working and a lot of different ways of relating to actors and crew, and Iâve sort of seen what works and what doesnât work, and I took all these ideas that Iâd been gathering over the years.
âAnd they could be as little as things like having your crew wear name-tags every day. Which sounds small, but⌠if you switch out camera operator and [the actors] donât know who the new person is, and you know, because youâve talked to them, but they donât know. I stole that from Mike Mills on 20th Century Women. So I felt like that was helpful.
âMy greatest joy is working with actors and watching them bring life to these things that Iâve put on the page that are essentially dead until they bring their spirit and their artistry to it. So I adore them, and I think they know that, and I have a lot of empathy for what Iâm asking of them. Because Iâve been there. And itâs hard. I try to bring sensitivity to it.â
FYI: Lady Bird broke American box office records on its opening weekend.
Luca GuadagninoâCall Me By Your Name
Guadagnino (whose first language is Italian, hence the idiosyncrasies in the quotes to follow) says he was attracted to the adaptation of AndrĂŠ Acimanâs novel Call Me By Your Name because, âI always found myself restless as an audience member towards films that tells the coming of age that are [âŚ] basically relying on the clichĂŠ, on what is the assumption that the narrative has to deliver in order to get there.â
Asked which clichĂŠ he wanted to avoid in particular, Guadagnino says, âI think for instance that there is the idea that there is a contrast against the lovers, is something that is so artificial. You know? That there has to be somebody who is gonna contrast them, and then the lover will triumph. And in the gay canon it will triumph or maybe it will be bittersweet, it will not triumph.â
Call Me By Your Name brings the teenaged Elio (TimothĂŠe Chalamet) and graduate student Oliver (Armie Hammer) into each otherâs orbit via a long, hot summer at Elioâs familyâs Italian villa. Clocking in at over two hours, it has a languid, unstructured feel, a narrative pattern directly inspired by Maurice Pialatâs Ă Nos Amours.
âThat was very, very, very dear to me. What is great about Pialatâs cinema is the capacity that he has always had to really the avoid the traps of a narrative and to be very at the center of his characters, and to really be letting live the flesh and blood and bone and sperm and every other kind of biological fruits of these characters, in a way that is really connected to his audience members because we are like the people in the screen.
âI wanted to prove that I could tell the story from the perspective of someone like Pialat instead of from the perspective of a three-act script.â
See the trio of films about love that Luca Guadagnino chose for Letterboxd.
At the time of writing, Call Me By Your Name is sitting at the top of Letterboxdâs âUnofficialâ Top 50 for 2017, based on weighted ratings for the year to date.
Todd HaynesâWonderstruck
Haynes directed the big screen version of Brian Selznickâs novel Wonderstruck, which Selznick himself adapted. Itâs an epic story split between two children in two different time frames, both confronting deafness and looking for family. Julianne Moore stars in two roles, one a silent-movie star.
As well as a tribute âto the endurance of New York, to the history of New Yorkâ, Haynes says Wonderstruck is also about âthe imagination of young people, the language of cinema⌠and the theme of deafnessâ. Haynes said in planning this film, he thought a lot about the films he saw as a child, âthe films that kind of entered my mind and bloodstream and changed the way I saw things. They were films that were always maybe a little beyond my reach.â
We asked Haynes, Selznick and Moore to share their memories of the films that changed the way they saw things as children. Haynes chose Mary Poppins, Romeo & Juliet and The Miracle Worker as his key childhood movie memories. Visit the Letterboxd list to learn why.
Selznick, who also wrote the novel Hugo, which Martin Scorsese adapted, says he âmostly loved monster moviesâ when he was a kid. âI was really into The Phantom of the Opera, the Lon Chaney silent movie. I grew up in New Jersey, so there was the âcreature double-featureâ in the afternoon when I got back from school. Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, and King Kong.
âIâm distantly related to David O. Selznick who produced King Kong and Gone With the Wind and Rebecca, so there was also an added thrill of seeing my last name at the beginning of all of these movies that I really loved! Even though they were from the California movie-making side of the Selznicks, and I am from the New Jersey dry-cleaning side of the Selznicks. Successful dry-cleaner though, I have to say.
âAnd then, every year, looking forward to seeing The Wizard of Oz on TV when it was ever the holidays. And that moment, which I think is one of the great moments in cinema history, when Dorothy opens the door from her black and white world in Kansas into Oz.â
Meanwhile, Julianne Mooreâs childhood movie memories are of the eclectic films programmed in a tiny Alaskan cinema, which ultimately transformed her approach to acting.
âWhen I was in fifth grade, my family moved to Juno, Alaska, and there was a movie theater in town that my sister and I went to every Saturday, no matter what. But because the population was so small in Juno they changed the movie every single week, so sometimes weâd go and see The Aristocats, and then one week it would be like One Day in the Life [from the novel by] Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. And then Minnie and Moskowitz, which is a Cassavetes film! And they let us in! Every Saturday! I didnât know what I was watching half the time. I really didnât, not until years later.
âIt wasnât until I would see movies in a revival house in Boston when I was in college that I kind of drew a connection to these movies I saw when I was in fifth grade ⌠and it was just this sort of different, very, very human point of view. So if youâre Ivan Denisovich and youâre in prison and you reach down and you pull up a fish eye in your soupâI remember that very distinctly!âyou know, that creates a different kind of experience to you right away, and youâve done that visually with a fish eye in a spoon.
âIt was something that kind of honed my interest in behavior, in performance, so I became interested in less in a theatrical kind of performance and more of a cinematic one because of this guy who owned a theater in Juno, Alaska.â
For more coming of age films, try these Letterboxd lists:
Teenage Wasteland: a Comprehensive List of Coming of Age Films A Film of Myself: My Favourite Female Coming of Age Films French Feminine Coming of Age Cinema
#coming of age#childhood#teenager#high school movies#todd haynes#julianne moore#greta gerwig#luca guadagnino#wonderstruck#call me by your name#lady bird
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Script: Elysia, Home of the Seraphim
Part 2 - Elysia, Home of the Seraphim
Download as PDF: click
For the complete list of skits, refer to this post: Skit List
For the overview of the whole script, click here: Script
If you find any mistakes or have questions, donât hesitate to contact me.
S = Sorey
M = Mikleo
A = Alisha
Z = Zenrus
(Arrival at Elysia)
M: I'll go report this to Gramps.
S: Guess we can't keep quiet about all this.
M: Coming by afterwards?
S: Yeah.
Hey everyone, got someone to introduce to you!
(All seraphims of the town are gathering, but A can't see them)
S: This is my family living here at the shrine.
A: Is this... Uh... Some kind of perfomance piece?
S: uh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it.
A: You're an odd duck, you know that?
S: I guess?
That's my house. You go ahead and rest. I've got something to take care of.
A: May I have a look around the village?
S: Well, sure. But don't cause trouble!
A: Of course not. I'll behave as if I were in a shrine to the seraphim.
S: Yeah, exactly!
A: I'll try not to make any waves.
S: Oh man. I sure hope Mikleo's chat with Gramps went over well.
(S enters Z's house)
M: And I'll let you hear the rest from Sorey himself.
Z: I reckon I'll have to.
You idiots!
S: Hi Gramps... I'm back.
Z: How could you bring a human into our domain?!
M: Easy, Gramps. Didn't you say you'd listen to Sorey's side of the story too?
Z: That's just what I'm about to do!
You know full well the rules, Sorey. How could you break them like this?
S: I'm sorry Gramps. But I couldn't just leave her there.
Z: Her kind is sure to bring nothing but trouble to our domain!
S: But I'm âher kindâ too, you know.
Z: You were raised aloung with our kind, which nurtured in you the ability to perceive us and converse with us. Normal humans have no such capacity. You should understand that more than anyone else!
S: Well, it is true. She doesn't appear to have any resonance.
M: But Gramps, this is the first time Sorey's ever met a fellow human.
Z: Perhaps. But if she can't see or hear the same things we do, she has no business in this realm.
S & M: âŚ
Z: I have raised both of you as my own since you were but babes, all the while doing my best to protect this land.
S: And for that I am grateful.
Z: And I did that because the time draws near when you will both serve to protect this shrine, just as all the oterhs have done. Our priority is the peace of Elysia. Any intruders, no matter how harmless, must be cast out.
S: Yes...
Z: Then it's time she left.
S: Can we at least give her time to prepare for her depature?
Z: Hmph... Just make it quick.
S: Thank you.
M: Gramps?
Z: I know, I know Mikleo.
He means well, in all things.
But that's the very reason I'm so worried for him.
(S enters his house)
M: Hey.
(M gives S the glove of the Shepherd)
M: Here's that thing I found in the ruins.
S: Oh?
Is this crest what I think it is?
M: Yup. This is the mark of the Shepherd.
S: I knew it!
The chosen one who communicates with the seraphim, controlling their incredible powers as if they were his own...
The âShepherdâ. Hah hah!
M: Sound like your kinda thing?
S: Maybe.
M: I always thought that mankind's savior would actually look a bit more imposing.
S: Be silent, seraph-beast!
M: I shall not.
S: Hmm.
M: Excavated relics aren't play-toys.
S: True.
M: She certainly is taking her time.
S: I'll see what's up.
(S goes outside and meets A)
A: Hmmm...
S: Enjoy yourself?
A: I sure did. But it's weird, I felt like I was being watched the whole time.
(stomach growling)
A: Ah...
S: Shall we eat?
A: I'm sorry. I feel like I'm going to faint!
S: Let's head to my place!
(On the way to the house)
Gosh, I hope we didn't worry him.
A: Hm?
S: Oh, uh... nothing.
Welcome in.
(Both are eating, A seems absentminding)
S: Hey.
A: Hm?
S: So then, what's your hometown like?
A: Well, I'm from the capital, Ladylake, in the Kingdom of Hyland.
S: Ladylake? Like in the legend of the Sacred Blade?
A: You've heard of it?
S: It was in the Celestial Record!
The legend says the Lady of the Lake guards the Sacred Blade, and the one who draws it becomes the Shepherd, right?
A: Yes. It was a lively and bustling town blessed with bountiful water, rich in festivals and fine drink.
S: Wait... âwasâ?
A: Well, it used to be.
S: Things must be hard for folks in the world below.
A: Below?
S: The land that lies beneath the mountaintops. I've never left home before.
A: You've always lived here by yourself?
Sounds to me like you're the one who's had it rough.
S: Heh heh.
Oh, let me help you get ready for your return trip tomorrow!
You need anything? Bread, rations? Stuff like that?
A: That'd be great! If you have any tools or a sleeping bag, it'd be great too.
S: Gotcha. Well then, first we'll need to do some hunting! I'll be your guide tomorrow.
A: Thank you so much for everything.
(next day, outside of the house)
M: Good morning.
S: Good mornin'.
Seraph: Come on, hurry it up, Mikleo! We ain't got time to mess around!
M: Yeah, I'll leave in a moment.
Gramps gave me all kind of things to take care of. I'm gonna be pretty swamped for a while.
S: Bummer. Well, don't you worry about me at least.
M: Sorey, Gramps only wants--
S: Yeah, I know.
Seraphim: Mikleo!
M: Maybe later.
S: Sure.
(To A) Good morning! You sleep okay?
A: Yeah, like a log! Been ages since I've done that.
S: Allright then. Shall we?
The prickleboars lurk to the left of the entry gate. It's an ideal hunting place.
A: Got it.
â Skit/ Discovery Point: Elysalark Fledglings
S: Oh hey! There's no baby elysalarks in the nest anymore. I remember when one of 'em fell from the nest, I was gonna keep it and raise it, but Gramps wouldn't let me.
âA kept bird will never learn to flyâ, he said. âPut it back.â
Guess you made it out of the nest on your own, huh?
â Skit/ Discovery Point: The Elysian Goat
A: Such robust horns... Just like the dragons of legend.
S: Hahaha! What, like in fairy tales? You're something else.
A: Don't go near it! There's no telling how dangerous untamed beasts like those are.
S: Aw, don't worry, we're friends! Uh, well mostly. They did kick me four or five times when I was little.
A: You're... âfriendsâ?
S: Yup! Sometimes they give me milk, and I make cheese and yogurt with everyone.
A: The mark of true friendship.
S: Yeah, it's the best!
(Seeing a monster)
S: There's a prickleboar.
A: So that's one, huh.
S: Their meat is easy to preserve when smoked, and super tasty! And the skin has all kind of uses too.
A: I almost feel sorry for it.
S: Wanna leave?
A: No. My spirit is prepared. Besides, I can't get this sort of experience back home!
S: Okay. Here we go!
S: hey, pretty smooth moves!
A: Thank you. You're rather capable yourself.
S: Okay! Guess we need a few more.
A: I don't see any around.
S: You'll find them if you look.
S: Hey, how far is it to Ladylake?
A: Let's see. I expect about to or three days.
S: Really? I had no idea it was so close!
A: But the forest at the base of the mountain is surprisingly easy to get lost in.
S: Must be the power of Gramps domain.
â Skit: Battling the Prickleboars
A: Sorey, your sword technique is... eclectic.
Which school are you from?
S: Which school?
A: Yes. Isn't there a name signifying the style? Your swordmaster's name, perhaps.
S: Hmmmm.... I guess mine would have to be the âprickleboar schoolâ!
A: Prickleboar school?
S: For me, it was food. For prickleboars, it was survival. Everyday, me and them, a neverending life-or-deat struggle.
A: You really are a child of nature, aren't you.
S: But it was those days that taught me how to fight.
There's no better teacherâno more exacting taskmasterâthan the humble prickleboar!
A: Thus, prickleboar school.
S: You got it!
But I guess I should say âtuskmasterâ.
A: Heh.
(Inside the house)
A: Sorey?
S: Oh, did I wake you? Sorry 'bout that.
A: You're sure into that book, aren't you.
S: I've read it countless times since my childhood.
A: One day, I want to explore ruins all over the world.
Everyone who's read the Celestial Record says that, and I'm no exception.
But sadly, now is not the time for some jaunt around the world.
For several years now, the world has been plunged into a nigh-incomprehensible state of chaos.
S: Chaos?
A: Mysterious illnesses, incessant storms, people bursting into flames...
There are those that say even the dead have begun to walk the earth again.
S: Woah, hang on. What are you talking about?
A: You don't believe me? Or you think this is a joke?
S: No, I...
A: The situation is beyond grave.
S: Huh?
A: The chaos has caused abnormal climate changes all over the world.
As a result, we are on the verge of endureing widespread crop death, famine, and starvation.And worst of all are the rumors of governments planning to replenish their dwindling resources through war. It mustn't come to that.
S: Can nothing be done?
A: Who knows. There's nothing to hang onto but legends.
S: Which is why you---
Nevermind. I won't ask.
I think I'm gonna just hit the hay here myself. Sleep well.
(next day)
A: Good morning.
S: Good morning! You ready to get to work? We gotta make those rations and bags from the prickleboars we hunted yesterday.
A: You got it.
S: Heh heh. Afraid it isn't exactly super fun, though!
A: Well, let me know when you're ready to start.
So, what do you need me to do?
(all things are sewn)
A: Sorry for putting you to work like this.
S: Oh, I'm pretty used to it.
A: With your help, I'll be able to leave tomorrow. Thanks so much.
S: Yeah? Great. Well, better rest up for tomorrow.
I ought to let Gramps know.
(S outside, alone)
S: Wish I'd asked her more about the world below.
(S in Z's house)
S: Hey, Gramps. She says she's leaving tomorrow.
Z: I see. We'll all be sure to see her off. After all, one must always be hospitable to one's guests.
S: Thanks!
(next day, entry of Elysia)
A: I really owe you. Thank you so much.
S: You gonna be okay by yourself?
A: I cannot cause more trouble for you than I already have.
S: I see.
(A sighs)
S: You'll be fine. Just follow that map and you'll get through the forest with no problems.
A: Oh, it's not that. I believe you.
Alisha.
S: Huh?
A: That's my name. Alisha Diphda.
S: Alisha?
A: You didn't even know who I was, and you helped me without asking anything in return.
Whereas I thought only of myself, leaving you without even a name by which to call me... As a knight, I am ashamed. Please find it in your heart to forgive me.
S: I-it's okay.
A: I must confess something to you.
S: Hm?
A: I know this sounds strange, but I believe that the seraphim really do exist.
The myths and legends that are preserved in the Celestial Record must be more than mere fairy tales.
S: Yeah.
A: This crisis that has befallen our world...
I believe that only the one spoken of in the ancient legends can truly restore order.
S: The Shepherd you mean.
A: You're not going to ridicule me? Everyone back in town does.
S: Of course not.
A: You're a real saint, you know that?
The Sacred Blad Festival is soon to commence in Ladylake.
A trial will be held based on the legend of the Shepherd's sword.
A trial I think you might be interested in.
S: Me?
A: Time to go.
But please, give it some serious thought when you have the time.
S: How come?
A: The Shepherd I see in my mind when I read the legends...
I have to say, he reminds me a lot of you.
S: âŚ
(M gives S a dagger)
S: What's this?
M: Gramps asked me to go out search the ruins and find some clues about that girl. I've been down there looking.
S: So wait, this is Alisha's?
M: This is the crest of Hyland.
I don't think this âAlishaâ is any ordinary knight.
Z: I know this is diffucult for you, but it really is for the best.
M: Gramps?
Z: Hmm... Someone has infiltrated my domain.
Blast and damnation! Hiding your presence, are you? Crafty bugger!
Everyone, be warned! There is an intruder in our realm! Find them!
They've concealed their presence, so chance are good it's a hellion! Search with extreme caution!
S: We'll go, too.
Z: Very well. If it is a hellion, quick measures must be taken. I'm counting on you.
Seraphim: I have a hunch we'll find it around the forest.
S: Good idea.
(In the ruins)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
(Lunarre (L) eats Mason (Seraphim))
S: Mason?!
L: How odd. I didn't expect to find anything but the main course here...
But now there's two more side dishes!
M: What on earth is this thing? Is this the hellion?
This is not the place for one such as you! Leave at once!
L: Hee hee hee heee!
Impudent brat.
I can smell the fear wafting off of you. Thos tender arms, trying to conceal their shivers...
(L steckt S in Brand, M lĂśscht) (L sets S on fire, M extinguishes)
S: Urgh!
M: Sorey!
L: Mmm, aren't you a succulent treat.
M: What?!
L: Did I stutter?
I'm saying I'm going to eat you!
S: As if! I can take you! Prepare to meet your doom, hellion!
(after the fight)
M: All talk, aren't you.
S: Still haven't had enough yet?
M: Begone!
(L eats Mason completely)
S: Ah!
M: Mason!
S: He... He ate Mason!
M: Is... Is this what hellions are capable of?
(Z and all other seraphim of the town appear)
Z: Away with you, evil being!
Seraphim: Or you wanna take us all on at once?
L: Hmph. I shouldn't be snacking anyway. Not when the main course is getting away.
(L is gone)
S: Mason...
(Everyone is shocked)
Z: We can handle the rest.
M: Gramps. That fox-looking thing... Was that really a hellion?
They can talk to us?
Z: Yes. That's the form of a human who has become a hellion. Corrupted, essentially.
S: Humans can become hellions?
Z: Now, it's time you went back home and rest.
M: We should. C'mon... Let's head back.
S: Right.
(S and M are out of hearing distance)
Z: So... It begins anew.
(House of S)
S: ⌠What on earth did it come here to do?
(Backflash)
L: How odd. I didn't expect to find anything but the main course here...
Not when the main course is getting away.
S: Wait a minute. Was it going after... her?
(Backflash end, S packs his things and wants to leave Elysia)
S: They'll probably freak out with me gone suddenly...
Sorry, everyone!
(S looks back)
Okay.
M: Oh?
S: Woah, Mikleo! Why are you here?
M: Thought I'd let you duck out of here?
S: Well...
M: I'm going too.
S: Seriously?
M: We can talk more while we travel. We don't have time.
But from what the fox man said, it's fair to assume that he's after Alisha.
S: You picked up on that too, huh?
M: Of course. Now, let's hurry.
S: Hey.
M: What? What's gotten into you all of a sudden?
S: I'm just really happy you came with me!
M: I couldn't let you navigate the world of humans alone. Not as guileless as you are.
S: I bet Gramps is mad though.
M: He was ready for it, in a way. He knew you'd leave someday.
S: Hey, I'm just stepping out for a bit, I'll see him again.
M: Gramps has always known.
That once you left, you'd live the rest of your days with humans.
(M gives S the pipe from Z)
S: Is this from Gramps?
M: We'll need money to get by in human society. He said to sell that if we're ever in a bind.
And there's a message for you as well.
âWalk the path you believe in and live your life to the fullest, and I know you will not go astray.â
That's what he said.
(S hugs the pipe)
S: Let's go!
(M and S see the outside world for the first time)
M: Incredible!
By themselves, people are such frail things. That is why, in times of calamity, they pray for a Shepherd to save them.
S: Woah! This is really it! This is our world!
The era later known as the âAge of Chaosâ gave birth to a new Shepherd. This... Is his story.
#tales of#tales of zestiria#tales of zestiria r#toz#sorey#mikleo#script#alisha#story#scenario#elysia
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Warning: Self servicing fanfic approaching
"Schwer, cover me, I'll begin charging--!"
"Got it!"
The life of a skyfarer is an interesting one.
"Captain~! I'm gonna charge up too, 'kaaay~? Keep me safe!"
"H-Huh? Give me a break, here...!"
You explore the sky, meet new people, fight some battles...
"Heh, what, did you think you were going to do this alone? Don't worry, Captain, I got your back."
"Catherine... I'll be relying on you!"
Become embroiled in a world threatening plot to wipe all existance across time and space back to nil and have to fix it through brute forcing your way through a megalomaniacal empire bent on domination and fight the powers of the skydom as well as godlike deities known as primal beasts including one that can alter the very fabric of our dimension...
"Haa, this is bad though, it's going to retaliate soon... Lyria!"
"I'm on it!"
... as well as die and come back to life through merging with a science experiment made to control said godlike deities... you know, the usual for a skyfarer, right?
"Earthen goddess, heed my call--"
"--come forth and set to stone the enemy before us!"
"We summon thee, MEDUSA!!!" "We summon thee, MEDUSA!!!"
Really, as far as I know, it's the average life of a skyfarer.
It all began when a battleship entered the airspace above my quiet home island... a strange girl fell into the forest near where I lived. She changed my fate forever. From that day on, I became what is known around the skydom as a skyfarer, an adventurer who goes on a whimsical and wonderous journey through the skies, helping people and seeking out their next objective. My objective was... vague, at first, but the more time I spent with that strange girl, and all the great friends I picked up along the way, the more clear my conviction became, and the clearer the path ahead of me was. A long time had passed since that fateful day that I met her... since then, I met a lot of... interesting people.
The story of how it all came together is a very long one, so I'll spare you and just give you the introduction. Our airship is called the Grandcypher, and we picked it up early into our journey. I mean, after all, you can't sail the skies as a skyfarer if you don't have something to do so on. Starry eyed and bushy tailed, I flew around as many islands as I could find, meeting as many people as I could, adding them to our eclectic 'crew' that I would eventually become the captain of.
Our crew grew to a large size after a while, with many people doing many things, both on stage and behind the scenes. With so many different, varied people though, things can get a little hectic.
One day we were lazily flying through the skies of the Phantagrande Skydom when I was abruptly stopped by a much larger hand than mine on my shoulder.
"Schwer."
Looking up, behind my shoulder, I saw him. The towering dark skinned erune that my best friend always called 'sourpuss.' His name was Eustace, and not expecting him to beat around the bush, being the straight forward and curt man that he is, I smiled and asked right away.
"Oh, hi Eustace. What's up?"
"It is about--"
"Captaaaiiin~!!!"
What I hadn't accounted for was his partner, very begrudgingly, as he was about to tell me, but not before--
"Wait, Nemone, that's--OOPH!"
Knocked onto the floor unseremoniously, all I could stare up at was the unamused look of Eustace, the curious look of Lyria, the girl I met on my home island, and the pitiful look of my best friend, a small dragon I call Vyrn.
"Schwer, you know that no matter how many times you tell her not to, she's going to, right?" Vyrn's voice showed discontent with the situation, but I just smiled bitterly, trying to play it off as a pleasant... surprise.
"I-It's not like I'd really want to, after all, she does this out of love." Right?
"Heehee~ Captain, you're so sweet, it almost makes me blush whenever you're saying things so embarrassing about me!"
That's Nemone for you, though. Another dark skinned erune, making me suspect she hails from the same lands as Eustace, despite... their stark difference in personality. Higher contrast than night and day. Also very... er, pleasant on the eyes, I'll say for now, but I'll address that at a later date.
"Nemone," Eustace started off at, picking the erune girl off of me, "if you continue doing things like that anytime you so much as lay eyes on Schwer, it'll cause problems eventually." Nemone, unlike Eustace, was far too happy-go-lucky and easy going to let minor things like that bother her, though.
"It's fine, it's fine~ The Captain tries so hard for everyone in the crew, she deserves a little affection every once in a while, right?" Eustace's stoic expression doesn't get fazed much either, though, so when these two clash, it tends to drag on for a while.
"You give out too much. Schwer is already compensated enough for what she does that she goes out of her way to do too much at times to make up the difference." It was true, I was just far too generous for my own good... I'd always been like that. It only got worse as I grew older. THough, if I wanted to pick out my biggest short coming, it would have to be... "Besides, it's bothersome the way you treat her. She's not even pureblooded."
... that. Yes, I was a half breed, a combination of erune and presumably a human. I'd never met my mother before, honestly, so my erune father is all I have to go off my heritage. Still though, knowing I was not pureblooded in one way or the other hasn't stopped me from wanting to be me, so while others may tend to lookdown on me for it, I still treat others all the same, no matter how they may treat me in kind.
"Mmm, Eustace, when you put it like that, it sounds pretty rough." I said with a bitter smile as I stood myself back up off the floor, one of my ears drooping down my hair... my stunning black hair was probably always my downfall, as it clearly gave away the fact that I was a half breed, what with dark haired erunes being unheard of. (There is one exception to that actually, but I'll get to that if she ever becomes relevant) "Though, I'd be worried if you weren't rough once in a while." It was what kept me on my toes while we were in combat, really. Lyria and Vyrn were always quick to defend me, though.
"Eustace, I know Schwer isn't a pureblooded erune, but there's no reason for that kind of discrimination in our crew with the wide and varied people in it, don't you think?"
"Yeah, sourpuss, it's not like your 'Society' or whatever was any different!" Eustace shot Vyrn a nasty glare that got him to quickly zip his lips shut, though. This gave me an opportunity to finally address what he came to me for.
"I'm sorry, but you wanted to ask me something, Eustace?" I figured, he must still trust me, despite my strange heritage, always being the one to come up to me about issues he would likely deal with himself or just keep quiet about.
"Hm. Our potion distiller seems to have ceased function not too long ago, so we should head to a port and find a repairman to fix it." Oh boy, the potion distiller. It was always overworked, being a device that spits out healing at a moment's notice... I took a quick glance as the culprit, her grinning face peeking out from behind Eustace, as if her weren't guilty. She brought the power, sure, but lately, I've begun thinking that she chugs them just for recreation...
"I see. Thank you for bringing that to my attention, Eustace." With a genuine smile, I always made sure to thank him, and though his face rarely budged from my attempts at showing gratitude, he would always nod with a certain confidence knowing that if anyone could get something done around here, it would be me.
"The nearest port would be Golonzo though, right?" I heard Lyria ask curiously next to me, as before I could chip in, one of the doors in the hall we had all stopped in abruptly opened--
"Hey, what's going on out--haa, C-Captain?!" The bright red ears of the firey erune that recently was added to our ranks poked out of the door, perking up from her just previously sleepy state the moment she laid eyes on me, and I could swear, in the very brief split second she had more than just her head out the door, I could swear that I didn't see a top on her...
"A-Anthuria? Wait, it's almost the afternoon, why were you still asleep?" I was trying really hard not to blush, the thoughts of her exposed skin still filling my mind. Haa, why was I so weak, I wonder...
"I-I, ahh, that is a bit difficult to explain." She seemed troubled at first, but as a blush crept up on her face, she gave me that coy smile that always made me weak in the knees. "Although, I don't mind telling you, Captain, so long as we get some... private time, together..." I couldn't handle it. In times like these, though, Vyrn was always there to back me up.
"Oi oi, wherever Schwer goes, I go, so you better make sure you're prepared to tell it to me, too." For some reason, Lyria was also pretty adamant about it, but only when it concerned Anthuria...
"Y-Yes! Me too! As our souls are bound, if there is something you must tell Schwer, you must tell it to me, too!" With a mischeivous grin though, Nemone chimed in at that one moment.
"Lyria~ You didn't seem to want to know when I wanted to tell Schwer about the time my sister got caught in a quicksand pit that turned out to be a monster's great big giant p-"
"N-No one wants to hear about something like that, Nemone!" Nemone, she was an odd one, she was, but always fun to be with. Anthuria, though, appreciated alone time more than anything, making her retreat from this situation an expected one.
"Well, you seem to be busy, Captain, so I'll leave you be. I should get... ah, dressed, anyways, so we can begin another day on the skies. Please, do stop by later, though..." With another coy smile, she disappeared back into her room.
"Anthuria, I hate to say it, but you're not as good at being subtle as you think you are..." I couldn't help but comment that to myself, but as Eustace, off to the side, crossed his arms, Lyria couldn't help but ask.
"Eustace, what's wrong?" Deciding he should get it off his mind, he ended up looking at me.
"Schwer, each member has their own private cabin, correct?" Blinking, I replied to him quite simply.
"Yeah, why?" At that point, Eustace, who had been in a much better position in the hall to see past the door when it was vaguely ajar, looks back at it, and asks--
"Why was Sen in there?"
"..."
To this day, I know not everything about my crew members, my precious friends, my lovable family... but maybe someday, someday I'll know...
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For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come
As itâs been nearly two years(!) since I have written anything of substance I am a little ropey and out of practice. Furthermore as many deeds, sagas and quests have passed by during this long interval, how best to report upon them?
I know not, so apologies if this is a bit of a meandering ramble but thatâs just the way itâs gonna be!
The past two years have been a hugely varied initiation into the life of a Freelance Art Person. I have been involved in huge mural painting projects, dabbled in web design, built gallery shows, painted my first solo murals, built structures for a festival, moonlighted as a carpentry assistant, painted window displays and made over the top mystical objects, among many other little nuggets of creative joy. Central to this an attempt to maintain a kind of idealistic flexibility: never immediately rejecting a job based on its category, trying always to be truly up for anything. I am yet to discover whether this limits the progression of a âcareerâ in one direction or whether this is just the pattern of how things always must be.
The most interesting development has been a return to my favourite theme: mythology, symbolism and the nature of belief. During my hazy and chequered, art student past I once made absurd, brightly-coloured video art of a shamanic, symbolic sort. The subsequent rejection of which created a decade-long aversion to this type of work which I now consider a great shame. Older now and hopefully wiser, certainly more thorough and better-read, I have begun to make work again that explores this area of my interest. Chief among these to date is the Technicolour Dream Chair. A reclaimed rocking chair adorned with glyphs and symbols, all deeply personally signigficant or failing that, funny. Behold its awesome power!
What dreams may come? Indeed
In all seriousness though I think itâs hard to overstate the importance of storytelling to human lives. We are entirely creatures of stories, so fundamental to everything we do; every goal, job, family, enmity, policy, conversation or romance is, wholly or in part, a fabrication of our incessant need to narrativise the world. I was lucky enought to see Carlo Rovelli, Italian physicist and eclectic thinker, in a panel discussion a couple of years ago and his fascinating exploration of this aspect of human nature really resonated. Looking through this lens the old, resilient, archetypical stories have a greater weight or significance and thus greater potential usefulness to individuals today. One should always turn a slightly sceptical eye towards anything claiming to be the âwisdom of the ancientsâ, but the oldest myths and stories were part entertainment, more importantly part guide how to be a better human. How we conceptualise the unknown and integrate the horror of the mysterium tremendum is how we become functioning beings â what could be more important!? It is this element that fascinates me and I hope to make work that combines this exploration of serious things with a light-hearted silliness â my preferred method of fending off the creatures of the dark!
Onward marches my continuing obsession with growing plants and tending my small, dark garden. North London is neither the worst nor the best place to try and till the land: cities clearly havenât got amazing air or soil and London especially has a bizarre, heavy-aired micro-climate that seems to stifle everything. But nevertheless it is still possible to achieve some horticultural victories. My chief enemy is as ever the enormous walnut tree next door (whichever past genius thought planting that in a terrace garden was a good idea I have no idea â colossal face-palm), though beautiful, it both shades and poisons everything around it. So my experiments have always to contend with that leafy elephant in the garden. Hardy shrubs and wild flowers yay! Decent vegetables nay! Saying this we have had some successes, the increasingly hot summers though worrying in one, major, climate-changey sense also mean my tomatoes are better every year.
These princes of the garden are my great love and definitely get the best treatment (bubble wrap in the snow was the most luxurious intervention of 2018), and the fact we do them in bags down the sheltered side of the house, rather than exposed and in the ground, is key to their outdoor success without a greenhouse. Armed with memberships to the RHS and Kew gardens I am trying my best to learn as much as possible about plants as I really believe gardening improves both myself and the world even if it is only slightly.
 In any case, an increased awareness of the cyclic quality of nature, combined with my developing interest in native pagan stories has led me to consider the new year we celebrate in January to be premature. The year obviously begins when things start to grow again in the spring and a celebration at this time was natural for many cultures in ancient times. Even as recently as 300 years ago in our own: Lady Day, on the 25th March, was the official New Year in England for over half a century until the adoption of the Gregorian calendar in 1752. I propose a move back to this pattern as one small way of connecting us better with the planet we inhabit.
I will certainly be out in the spring, probably dressed like this:
Whoâs with me?
Further, if anyone would like to talk about the stories that resonate with them I am all ears. Find me through https://gavinmcphaildesign.com
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Yamantaka // Sonic Titan Interview: Celebrating Whatâs Gone
BY JORDAN MAINZER
From a narrative perspective, it can be hard to separate any of Yamantaka // Sonic Titanâs albums from one another. The three records from the Canadian âNoh-waveâ collective all take place in the world of Pureland, derived from a strand of Chinese Buddhism by name but resembling the Iroquois story of North America by theme. Their latest album Dirt (out now via Paper Bag Records) is the one that expands on the narrative the most; it has more words on it than on their first two, the amazing Y // ST and UZU. But as founding member/leader/drummer Alaska B inferred in our Skype conversation last month, the albums--especially Dirt--can stand on their own. Musically, itâs the most expansive and hardest album yet for the band. That all band members--including new members--now live in Toronto must have led to an instrumental kinship. With singer/theatre artist Ange Loft, keyboardist Brendan Swanson, singer Joanna Delos Reyes, guitarist Hiroki Tanaka, and bassist Brandon Lim, the band is able to create straight-up noise (âHungry Ghostâ) and power pop (âOut Of Timeâ) alike, while continuing their embrace of indigenous culture and instruments on songs like âBeastâ. Dirt is the bandâs most varied and perhaps cohesive effort yet.
In our conversation about the album, the bandâs future, and the world today, Alaksa B touched on fan interpretations of the band, how the live show celebrates something thatâs already over, and why ânihilism to an extent,â as she says, is the best way to make a better future for longer. Read the conversation, edited for length and clarity, below.
Since I Left You: Are all of your albums going to be continuing the narrative inside Pureland?
Alaska B: I would say yes.
SILY: How do you know when that ends?
AB: When it ends, thatâs when the band would end.
SILY: Really?
AB: I donât know. I donât see us working in any other way. Weâve done projects like Severed [a video game the band scored], where we scored another world. But as far as us, weâll always be kind of exploring the same universe.
SILY: To what extent are your fans entrenched in the narrative ideas of the albums, and to what extent do you think they just like the instrumentation or the music? Are the two able to be separated?
AB: I think that every decision we make musically keeps those concerns in mind. Once itâs been created, itâs not my position to worry about how other people take it afterwards. If you like the song, that works for me. If you want to get more into the narrative, then by all means, get more into the lyrics. But thereâs not a right way to consume it. Iâm never thinking, âOh, Iâm so misunderstood. They donât see the deeper meaning.â The truth is thatâs how people experience all things. People are always looking for themselves. It doesnât always reflect the creator. People will tell me, âThis thing you wrote helped me through a hard time.â Yeah, maybe it helped me through a hard time too, but theyâre not the same experience. The way they identify with the songs are not how I intended. So Iâm always interested to hear what songs people like. They usually end up being the ones I donât like.
SILY: Is that true of the new record?
AB: I donât know yet. It hasnât been out that long.
SILY: Do you have any favorite or least favorite songs on it?
AB: I donât know, I feel like it changes all the time. It comes down to what Iâm prioritizing at the time. The eclectic nature of our album creation--trying to be as broad as possible--there are going to be parts that work better for me narratively but maybe not as well musically, and vice versa.
SILY: Has your approach to playing these songs live changed with the new record?
AB: Weâve been playing some of these songs for a while. Weâre a slightly different lineup with two guitars. This album is much more focused on songwriting. Weâre engaged and busy at all times. There are less drawn out, open areas. The biggest thing performing these songs live, something Ange said to me, is itâs the most brash, fun version of us. Weâre not doing as many stage theatrics. In a weird way, weâre throwing a party for something thatâs already lost. The album is supposed to relate to not necessarily loss--UZU was about loss--but kind of about life in its reflection of death. The more upbeat elements of the record are about celebrating something thatâs already done.
When we talk about the current sociopolitical climate and climate change, these are the questions we grapple with. How do we stop or mitigate or accept--the part we have a bigger problem with--the extinction of many of our species, the destabilization of biospheres, etc.? These are things that are too late to stop. The same way we talk about sociopolitical issues facing the black community or aboriginal communities, right now, itâs this moment thatâs happening. But things have been messed up for so long, these are the way things are now. Until you address that something is broken, you canât even begin to fix it. With climate change, things like pollution and plastics you donât want to think about and deal with. But thatâs a barrier to acceptance.
So, live, in a concert setting, when youâre trying to pull people into this communal interaction, our intent is less about live narrative spookiness or wackiness but this much more human, last-ditch party before the end of everything. We know everything is kind of screwy. So playing music together is the way we come to terms with it. When we play heavy metal music live, thereâs this element of evil people are trying to get at. But right now, the real evils of the world are so much darker than anything that metal addresses in general. Iâm not so worried about death and gloom as I am real practical fears of the future.
SILY: How confident are you that, overall, the best is behind us?
AB: I donât think it was ever âbest.â Things are in decline--thereâs a better and a worse. What we idealize as the best is probably done. And maybe something better will come along. But thatâs only through shifting our way of thinking. I donât like to romanticize another time period. Whatever damage weâre doing to the environment has been going on for hundreds of years now. Weâve always kind of been like this. We have to come to terms with things weâre trying to screw up.
SILY: What gives you optimism?
AB: Optimism for me doesnât come from the hope things are gonna work out. Death is the norm. All of the things we enjoy about life are this fleeting moment. Optimism for me is coming to terms with the inevitability of the end of all things. That sounds like an isolating and scary thing to most people--which it is, to me, as well--but dealing with your eventual death and the pointlessness of it all, thereâs a peace you can come to. Itâs not necessarily happy, but itâs better than any other emotion.
SILY: What was the inspiration behind the album title?
AB: There was always a plan for our third record to be really ugly and heavy. We were always addressing issues of sovereignty and colonization and what exactly it means to live in a politicized state--not a nation-state, but the North American continent. We decided we wanted to develop the narrative more on this one. So we imagined a sci-fi anime on an Iroquois myth. Itâs the story of the creation of Turtle Island. Thereâs a sky woman who comes down from a sky world who has to retrieve dirt from the bottom of the ocean and spread it on a turtleâs back to create a continent. A group of marine animals swims to the bottom, and in the process, one of them dies, but they retrieve the soil. It was kind of supposed to be about the sacrifice we make to create better outcomes, but also how that drive can lead to worse outcomes. Itâs kind of like how inaction is the only safe form of action.
The theme behind the dirt itself is about humanityâs obsession with soil--the control, extraction, and use of it--and in this story, where hydroponics is the only source of food in these dome cities and there are no continents, what does that mean when they redevelop the technology to explore their own ruins? They open up to the possibility of retaining humanityâs glory. But itâs meant to be critical that thereâs an easy solution that will go and fix things for us.
Dirt by Yamantaka//Sonic Titan
#yamantaka // sonic titan#interviews#music#paper bag records#pureland#chinese buddhism#north america#y // st#uzu#alaska b#ange loft#brendan swanson#joanna delos reyes#hiroki tanaka#brandon lim#iroquois#turtle island
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âLive as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. âMahatma Gandhi This is one of the most interesting questions that we tend not to think about very much. Yet our answer profoundly informs how we live. we have a culture of silence around dying and death. Itâs a great taboo that fills most of us with anxiety about lifeâs end without any way to reduce that anxiety. We all know we are going to die, yet we donât talk about it. The entire subject has become a mysterious and ominous kind of black hole in our consciousness, and we learn not to go there.
I think it would be really healthy for us to break through this taboo and normalize our conversation about death. It would free us to examine our beliefs, thoughts, and feelings about death, both individually and collectively. Perhaps it would change how we feel about war and violence. By embracing the reality of death, we might be able to perceive a greater value and a deeper meaning of life.
âWeâre born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that weâre not alone.â
Orson Welles
When I raise this question with people, the most common answer begins with the phrase âI was raised⌠and I believeâŚ.â Many people have never challenged the belief system they were taught as children. Others question and affirm it, while still others find it a starting point from which their beliefs evolve as they explore the issue over the course of their lives. I fall into this latter category.
When I began to explore the reality of death more deeply, I found that I was less afraid of death itself than I was of dying. I was anxious about not knowing when and how I would die. It terrified me when I thought of it. It was as though we all walk around with a huge question mark over our heads, not knowing how much time we have left. Here today, maybe gone tomorrow. At first, I thought that God had a mean streak or a bad day when inventing death. I thought it was wrong and that we should live forever. But when I thought about that, I wondered what forever would be like â an endless story, a giant run-on sentence with no ending punctuation. Would there be no aging of the body or maturing of our minds in an endless now? Would we be stuck in a perpetual state of changeless being? The more I thought about the mixed blessings of being an infant, a child, a teen, a 20-year-old, a 40-year-old, and a person in my 60s, the more I valued the exquisite design of this progression of maturation. I wouldnât want to live endlessly in one frozen form without the punctuation of time passing. The more I thought this way, the more normal and appropriate death seemed.
When I delved further into the question of what happens when we die, I looked first at what I had been taught as a child. Just as many children learn to be good to get great presents from Santa, I was taught to be good in the way I lived my life so that I could earn eternal life with God. I had no idea what that meant other than that I shouldnât be âbad.â It was a great inducement for conformity to the rules. As I matured, my ideas about life, death, God and eternity evolved. I found myself to be eclectic in gathering bits and pieces of wisdom from around the world that resonated with the truth that existed inside of me. Where did that truth come from? I do not know. I just know that I have always recognized what is true for me by a process of reflection and inner resonance.
When I think about what happens to us when we die, I realize that I cannot address the matter without simultaneously looking at the purpose and meaning of life. Life and death seem to be woven together in an endless process of one birthing the other.
Based on my current understanding of things, I believe that we are all souls having human experiences for the purpose of coming to know our divine nature in human form â our oneness through and with God. As such, I believe that what we commonly refer to as death is simply the death of this body and personality, the dropping of a human form by our real self â the soul. As far as I can tell, we really do see a bright light and loved ones on the other side of this death as we journey forward in our process of awakening. I believe that we do re-embody again and again as we strengthen our awareness of our own divinity. So, while I am saddened by the loss of connection to loved ones that occurs at death, I am comforted by my belief that this is one in a series of lives.
I know that many people do not share my particular beliefs. That is fine with me. Personally, I find it quite fascinating that âthe truthâ resonates differently in each of us. What do you believe happens when we die?
We simply stop being, going out like a fire.
Our physical body dies, and that is all we are.
We are spiritual beings having human experiences, and at death, our body dies, but our spirit or soul lives on.
We only live this one life.
Our souls reincarnate, taking on different physical identities to work off karmic imbalances accrued from previous lives.
We go to heaven, hell or purgatory.
It doesnât matter.
Other.
Have you explored your truth? What do you think, and how do you feel about the fact that we all die? That you will die? That everyone you know will die? Are you at peace with this reality? If not, what is your experience, and why do you think that is so? If you are at peace, what has enabled you to view death that way? What do you think happens when we die? How do your beliefs about death inform how you live your life?
'' How Do You Feel About The Fact That We All Gonna Die'' ''Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. ''Mahatma GandhiâŚ
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Stuff I wrote down while making âIdentityâ
the following is some stuff I wrote down about the tracks on âIdentityâ as I was making the EP. These were recorded between the months of October 2015 and probably January or February 2016.
Hey, guys! I know I put a lot of thought into the songs on "Identity", so I thought it best to give a rundown of each song on the EP so that everything is interpreted as intended and you guys get to know more about, and hopefully make a deeper connection with them! "Here we go..."
Not quite a hard-hitting b@nger, not quite a soft song, track 1 is an opener that strives to describe me in a radio-length pop song.
The title track of the EP, "Identity" is my attempt at fitting myself onto a song that people can listen to and get a good gist of me and who I am. I'm a child of God first, and also an artist with four main areas of specialty. My first interest was Architecture/Engineering and overall design, second is music, Third is writing and fourth is photography! I love to mix them up all the time, too! For instance, this song (and all the others I've written) is a result of my music skills intermingling with my writing skills. Outside of that, "Identity" sort of paraphrases my life and adventures up to now and what had allowed me to become who I am right now. I also elaborate on my musical identity, particularly in the bridge. I love so many different types of music that I have decided to identify as a "genre-bender" or "genreless" artist. For me, just about any musical style or influence is fair game in my recording process. These songs represent the first opportunity for me to experiment with the concept of blending genres! I wanted the production to be relatively uniform in tone, so I played the instrumental parts with the same effects but in varying styles within the given sonic arrangement. I was inspired by the flow of the amazing Alessia Cara's vocal delivery in songs like "Seventeen" and "Four Pink Walls", Ed Sheeran in general (but especially on "x"), as well as some smaller but still significant influences from Melanie Martinez, Halsey, Beck, The Notorious B.I.G. and Drake. Okay, I threw a little Justin Bieber and The Beatles in there as well! Lolz! I don't know how prevalent this is to other people, but the percussion part is probably the most dynamic element in the entire song as it not only changes styles within itself while complimenting the rest of the instrumental, but follows with the lyrical content and vocal inflections and volume changes. Because of its self-contained dynamic-ness, "Identity" took the longest time to produce and became the most thoughtful and intricate songs on the EP. Main message of the song: I am an artist of many disciplines, a loving soul and a musically eclectic individual; not to be categorized easily... And just trust God; The words I keep with me. I even have those words engraved on the inside of my "blue class ring"! Track 2 is simply, a lighthearted joke.
I was thinking of rhymes last summer and the two lines, "Got my pants ripped up, uniform like Goku/More fire songs than my Avatar Roku" ultimately evolved into "That Hype, Doh..." This song is really me showing my fun, seemingly careless side in a jokingly cocky, hip hop-based, hopefully mainstream-worthy song. I start by just spitting random rhymes and references (from Green Day to Harry Potter) laced with substance for a while before delving into a bit of real stuff. The chorus is meant to be laughed at and to "bring up that hype, doh..." at parties and stuff. The production has a lot of Beck influence as well as N.W.A. and alternative rock influence. New and old Taylor Swift influences can also be found in the chorus and super intricate drum beat. I used an array of different rapping styles to create something all my own. Main message of the song: There doesn't always have to be a point to things. It can be just for fun or just 'cause you want to. Jokes are almost always in style. With track 3, I wanted to put in a softer number because I am not all heavy and powerful on the inside.
There's a good amount of "softness", so to speak in my heart, and "The UnderLyer" really embodies that part of me for this EP. I often carry myself as a strong, pretty much invincible character; not to say that I'm not that way most of the time, but I am also not stone cold and apathetic in the least. Lyrically, the song takes a positive, adult stance on a lot of rather dark subjects that I and many others wrestle with in our minds. In terms of musical influences and production, "The UnderLyer" is essentially like The Red Hot Chili Peppers and Ed Sheeran made a live performance at a pub or a bar. It features loop-pedal-based sounds (a signature of Ed's) and live production techniques as well as a prominent bassline that (at least to me) is reminiscent of the groovy, laid back style and flow of the Chili Peppers. The title actually came from a phrase that the vibe of the original bassline evoked in my head; the type of atmosphere and persona that the song could take on. I also wrote the lyrics to the bassline and "The UnderLyer" is actually the only song on the EP that was written and produced this way. I obviously don't have the best time/content dial because the song was originally meant to be about 2 minutes and 34 seconds in my mind before I extended it to probably 3 minutes and 30 seconds, but it finally comes to an end at 4:27. I aimed for this time after I had fleshed out the lyrics because I have a weird relationship with numbers that evoke personas in them for me and those three just look really cool together; like Charlie's Angels or something (it also matches the exact song length of "Hotline Bling" by Drake almost perfectly). Now, wait, for the segue... Main message of the song: If you're going through rough times in your life, internally or externally, stay positive and keep going through until you get to the end. It will get better. Track 4 is a rebellious song about a rebellion that isn't really a rebellion. It's only meant to make a statement.
On "Y I Don't Care", the drum beat part at the beginning can be interpreted as us as a generation being steadily brought up in a good way I guess, before getting increasingly tripped up, hated on, desensitized or otherwise negatively affected before going into the main beat. When it hits, it can symbolize the collective members of Gen Y saying, "Enough is enough." Not really angrily, but forceful enough to push away all the opposition from those that find our differences from them unsettling. Honestly, the song only sounds menacing and fight-nightish because I'm trying to effectively get a point across and being seemingly aggressive unfortunately seems to be the language that most people understand best. "You mad, bro?" Hate to burst your bubble but I'm not even angry. I originally thought that "Y I Don't Care" would be no more than 5 minutes in length the way I wrote it, but the topics that I had put in it extended it to a near 6 and a half minute song! I even had to take a few lines out at the end because I thought the song was running too long and that I'd lose the interest of my listeners (so I definitely see myself revisiting and/or revamping this song in the future). But don't let the length drive you away; this song keeps you entertained from beginning to end! I'd say that all the songs are genre-benders in their own right, but this one is the genre-bender. Too many influences to count, but Linkin Park, Demi Lovato, Kanye West, KISS, Paramore, my man, Michael Jackson and the later work of the Jacksons are among the biggest. "Y I Don't Care" can actually be seen as an oddball anthem for Millenials. It's long and epic, brimming with strong messages that most younger people can relate to and a little chant-worthy at times! We are different and we force others to stretch their understanding in order to understand us. We "put their minds on the brink!" Main message of the song: We're gonna do what we want to do in life, and it doesn't matter if it's different from what's been done before. We are the future of humanity, so it's gonna happen either way. "Y I Don't Care" is actually my favorite song on the EP because lyrically, I feel it comes from the heart a bit moreso than the other tracks. It also has the coolest instrumentation of any of them in my opinion! "Identity" is probably my close second, though as it is a song all about me and who I am.
Track 5 is a closer, a reiteration and a thank you.
Crazy how many of these songs were written last summer! I wanted "What I Sound Like?" to be the closer, but it really acts as a dawning of my music career; a strong sign that much more is to come! Even if the song or any of my songs don't get really big, I'll still be making music because I honestly do it for me first; which leads me into even further elaborating on my musical identity. In addition, I want my songs to inspire people. If I can do it (as in whatever I set my mind to), than you, the listener, can do it too. "What I Sound Like?" also encourages the people of the world to learn and grow as people, while staying young at heart. There's a reason why Echosmith wants to be like the cool kids; 'cause being a kid is cool and everyone knows it. I also take some time to thank the listeners for checking out this music I've put out. Some of the bigger influences are the beautiful Tori Kelly, Linkin Park once again, 2Pac, Foo Fighters and... Ya know, after awhile, all the influences I was drawing from start to blur together and they ultimately evolve into the song that you end up hearing. Just about every aspect of "What I Sound Like?" was short and fast-paced. It was really the song that went from 0 to 100... real quick. 99.999 something% of the song was recorded and mastered in one sitting! (Most of the vocals were done in one take, as well) I finished the song in less than 5 hours in one night and it actually became the only real radio-length song on the EP at 3:21. I was happy about that because it shows the diversity of my music in the context of song length. Also, for the first time, I didn't feel as if I was over-writing song lyrics as much. I still filled the song with plenty of info though, so I'm also very proud of that! Main message of the song: I like all types of music and I like mixing them up together, you can do it too if you want, and it's okay to stay young on the inside.
Well, thanks for reading and thanks for listening if you have. Ask me any other questions you have using the hashtag #EvansIdentity and I'll try to answer them.
Thanks again, have a great day and good bye!
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Brian Collins on Optimism, Talent & Doing Great Work
Brian Collins has built a new kind of creative agency: one that recognizes that consumers, not companies, âownâ brands and that the old single-channel ways of communicating no longer work. The firm he co-founded, COLLINS, works across categories (from tech to nonprofit) and across scale (from huge global brands to startups).
At HOW Design Live, heâll be taking the keynote stage on opening night. Later in the conference, heâll present alongside Target creative director (and COLLINS client) David Hartman to talk about how the work and relationships of design studios and their clients are blurring â with some killer results.
We recently chatted with Collins about what heâs doing and seeing right now.
What are you currently working on that has you super excited? Both our New York and San Francisco offices are currently working with The Museum of Moving Image to design The Jim Henson Exhibition. It combines everything we love about everything we love. Design. Stories. Movies. Insane collaboration. Also puppets, fantasy, mythology, interaction design and architectureânot to mention Sesame Street, the Muppets, The Dark Crystal, Labyrinth âŚ
A writer once described Jim Henson as having âan imagination that flows like lava from a psychedelic volcano.â What creative person wouldnât want that as a brief?
You also take on pro-bono work. Why? We take on a pro-bono projects because 1) we think something good needs to get done and might not get done, otherwise. 2) we admire the people who lead the organization and 3) because our own voice, or the voice of a member of our team, might make a tangible difference.⨠We are beyond selective in doing that work. It can swallow way too much time if you donât manage it tightly.
Brian, I love following you on Facebook and Twitterâyour posts are smart and eclectic and always worth a read. You recently shared spots by Coca-Cola and Budweiser that resonated in our current political climate. Oh dear. Politics. And I thought we were doing so well, Bryn.
In the world weâre living in, do you think design and advertising have a role in shaping a saner, more respectful dialog? In short, yes.
Iâm spooked that weâre all backing up into our own corners. Identity politics is eroding too many of the social bonds we share, bonds that unite us as a people, a culture and a nation.
Whatâs unfolding right now appears reminiscent of the theory of âpunctuated equilibriumâ in biological evolution.
Since the close of WWII, weâve had a pretty stable economy and culture in the U.S. And a mostly stable global one, too. The arrival of erratic, angry political forces in Washington may pose tough challenges for some of us, but this suddenly new and sort of unstable environment also appears to be unlocking previously untapped sources of imagination, energy and action. Our political system, it seems, is holding. A lot of people woke up. Thatâs a good thing.
But Iâm an optimist. A designer has to be.
Look, the way I see it, a powerful challenge demands a powerful response. So our response here at COLLINS is to offset negativity with something positive. In the end, every creative choice we make can be reduced to two ambitions: You either feed grievance or create hope. Itâs sort of that simple. â¨â¨I like Werner Herzogâs thought: âCivilization is like a thin layer of ice upon a deep ocean of chaos and darkness.â
We all have to make sure the ice ainât gonna crack.
Global brand renovation, Coca-Cola: Brian Collins, Lee Maschmeyer, Thomas Wilder, Ogilvy & Mather, Wieden + Kennedy
Iâve asked other HOW Design Live speakers about this as well: Creative people seem to long to deploy their time and talents on projects that they believe inânot just on projects that sell widgets. (Not that thereâs anything wrong with selling widgets.) Are you seeing that in the industry around you? I see that as a false paradox. Why canât you believe in widgets? I believe the world needs the best widgets we can design.
The hope and roots of modern design were to mix commerce with good. Look at design schools around the world. The nature of the one to two-year foundation programsâintroducing young students to art and design principlesâis built on entirely on Bauhaus principles. And that comes out of a 19th century ambition of design and manufacturing being a force for good, for making the world a better place. A better place for everyone.
2014 AIGA Medalist commemorative book: Brian Collins, Thomas Wilder
I see great honor in doing great work for great businesses. I see no honor in the Robin Hood model: doing fast, lousy work for large companies only so you can afford to do work for dance festivals. Thatâs insane. Businesses and dance companies both deserve your best.
Over the last 20 years design has become increasingly aligned with greater and greater business success and power. We used to have to storm the gates to get attention. Now we lead some of the kingdoms. Companies better understand its power. Everyone wants to be Apple. Even McKinsey, the management consultancy, now has over 450 designers working for them. Thatâs a big shift. Mostly, I think, a good one. â¨â¨But now that we have a real place at the table, itâs more important than ever for designers to reassert the original modernist intent of benevolence into all that we do. We should never leave that ambition behind.
Your team hosts a monthly playlist on Spotify of the tunes youâre currently listening to in the office. How does music spark creative energy for you and your crew? Music inspires visuality. The rhythms of an idea, an interface, an environment can all be informed and alteredâinstantlyâby the music we choose. That said, we play no music here that everyone is forced to listen to. No one should have to listen to Mumford & Sons unwillingly.
Yesterday was an great music day for me. I hopped into Union Square station and suddenly saw our design system for Spotify all over the cityâs subway platforms for the new Prince campaign. So I cranked up Prince on my headphones. What was extra sweet was that and I had worked with Prince twenty years ago on his Diamonds & Pearls tour book when I worked for Joe Duffy.
Spotify brand reboot: Lee Maschmeyer, Ben Crick, Christian Widlic
Whatâs the coolest thing youâve experienced in the last month? The coolest thing this: A year ago a young strategist on our team wasnât so confident in her skills. She didnât really understand how good she was. So I put her in front of a board of directors of a major corporation and asked her to set up the strategy for the creative work we were showing that morning. And she proceeded to crush it. Later, the CEO came up to me and she said, âThat was extraordinary.â And it was all her.
Thatâs the most rewarding thing: what I seek to find in people, and what they come to see in themselves what I see in them. I tryâand I think we all try hereâto get our people to realize their potential ahead of schedule.
I really only have two superpowers: one is that I can see badly kerned typography from 50 feet, at night, in the dark, through a rainy windshield and going 50 miles an hour; and the other is that Iâm pretty good at finding talent. I know this is not a popular thought, but talent is like rhythm. You can build on it, make it stronger, more expansive. But you either have it or you donât.
Talent is the ability to see new patterns in the same informationâbut ones that most people canât seeâand then having the courage to take those patterns and risk making something new. Something better. Going somewhere new.
When we began COLLINS, we all went on a retreat with Buddhist teacher Pema ChĂśdrĂśn in upstate New York. She said, âTo be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-manâs-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh.â
Almost 10 years later, I think that sums up what our crew and I are, hopefully, all about. Every morning we should be seeking new places to discover, lift anchor, set sail and, you know ⌠go.
Catch Collinsâs keynote presentation at HOW Design Live, then hear him and Hartman onstage together for their session (presented by The Dieline) Hypercollaboration: Blurring Line Between Agency, Client, & Customer. Register by March 21 for the best rate, and check out all the different registration options â including a sweet new VIP pass. You can add this concierge-level, all-access pass to HOW Design Live, even if youâve already registered for a 3-Day Pass or Big Ticket.
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