#when the group hit you with these looks and you're just like uhhhhh what did I say???
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Chapter Seventeen: It’s 10:10 where you been?
They had finally made it to the point where Jayson didn't want her around anybody else . Everytime she was about to go out with friends he had something planned. She finally started getting frustrated. She planned a phone call so she was waiting for him to call and finally he did.
"Hey sexy how you doing?" She asked him smiling "I'm good I'm just tired bout to get in this ice bath" "I wanna do one with you next time" "that'll be fun can't wait to see you do that" "I'll be a thug" he slides into the water "I bet but um what you wanted to talk about?" "I'm going out tonight with my friends" "oh okay I was hoping we could watch movies tonight" "bae this kinda what I needed to talk about I need some time with other people too ... okay? I still love you but" "you need some space?" he seemed sad she felt bad "I don't like how that sounds" "that's what you saying though?" "I like the texting and calling and finding movies to watch together but when I wanna step out I want your blessing to do it I don't wanna go out with my friends and then all I can think about is hurting your feelings " "ok I get that...just cause I like being in the house don't mean you should have to be glued to your bed when I'm not there ...I get it" "you promise?" "yes...so who you going out with? "a few of the girls" "going out to eat?" "yeah food and drinks..." "you know the restaurant?" "No why bae" "Im just asking...you'll be out late?" "possibly" He didn't like the way she was answering. She was being to vague and it pissed him off. "ight I'll hit you later" he hangs up "Uhhhhh no he didn't" yn stood there confused before she could call back her friend was calling.
Hiiii yn
hey boo
Im hype for tonight ...but what's wrong with you?
nothing just me and Jay...nothing
hmmm well fix that and ill see you later right?
yes I've been looking forward to this night
oh yeah so since we all gon be drinking can we just meet at your place and uber to the restaurant from your house
yeah ...do y'all wanna spend the night too? just leave tomorrow so everyone is safe
My man will probably pick me up unless y'all want a sleep over
I don't care just um ask everyone else....either way its fine
okay well ima let you go so you can get hype cause you not hype right now
yn slightly laughs my bad by the time yall get here Ill be ready.... I promise
mhm see you soon
see ya
call ended
Do I call Jayson back? or just wait.... yn thinks that was so strange for him to do and this was entering into toxic territory. She decided to put her phone on dnd and take a shower blasting her music and letting her phone charge. Once she got out of the shower she grabbed her phone taking it off of do not disturb and reading the notifications 5 missed calls two from her mama three from Jayson and several text messages after calling her mama back she read the group chat messages first the girls are on their way...that was ten minutes ago so that leaves her twenty. That's the good thing about meeting at her place she didn't have to be ready. When she went to Jayson message she got teary eyed so she decided to call back he answered on the first ring.
"I love you and im sorry that was so fuckin stupid" yn tears began to fall "Jay you make me not wanna go out" "I want you to go out I like when you to have fun...I just enjoy it more when Im with you or I get to come pick you up...or Im in the bed waiting for you that's all." "so fly down here...meet me in my bedroom so when I get back...I'll have something to look forward too" "bae..I can't just fly down there in two hours" "yes you can You're Jayson Tatum you can do anything baby....get yourself down here to me...and I'll show you how grateful I am" "... I can't do that tonight Bae .... But please go out and have fun" "okay I will" "let me know what you wearing" "you just wanna see?" "Yeah talk me through it while I'm in this Ice bath" she smiled going to her closet to pull out options.
"Soooo I have these black distressed jeans from fashion Nova .... Then I have this shirt to go with it..... but I didn't know if I wanted to dress up a little more so I also have this dress .... Or this shirt and skirt" "all those are fly bae idk... what everybody else wearing you don't wanna be under dressed compared to your friends" "you right im gonna wait until they get here to decide" YN sits back down staring at him slightly shiver it made her smile. "Wish I was in there with you.... Trying my hardest to warm you up" she smiled
"you so sexy..." "I'm not trying to be.... I just miss my man" "your man misses you too.... Don't get it confused" YN hears her doorbell so gets up going to the door. "When am I gonna see you next?" She opens the door letting her friends in "heyyyy girls" Asia and May come in "heyyy ... where your clothes" " on the bed ... im on the phone with Jay" "hey ladies!!" He says waving so YN let's them see the phone "heyyyy Jayson what you doing there?" May asks laughing making him shake his head
"my ice bath" "oh okay nice" "I was trying to see what y'all were wearing before I chose .... But it's on the bed" they take their shoes off going back to her room. "I like the jeans..." may said "I like the shirt you put with the skirt .... But I like it with the jeans" Asia says "that's fine can you find me some comfortable shoes too..." "yes you wearing heels though"
"Ima let you go bae... everybody be safe and I love you" Jayson says YN pouts "I love you too" "why you making that face" "I really really really miss you" "make sure she drink and have fun tonight ladies!!" "Oh trust me we will" "send me your outfit with the shoes I wanna see it on your body" "okay baby " "I'll see you later...bye" "byeee" she hangs up smiling
"Where's Trin?" "On the way she should be here in like five minutes" "okay and are y'all staying?" "Yes both of us" "okay go get your stuff then and y'all can sleep in the other room together" as they head back to the living room for them to grab their stuff. Trin is at the door so they let her in. "I have a blow up mattress if you wanna spend the night" "yes I'll spend the night no point In making my man drive all the way over here" "okay bet we can do that when we get back so that it doesn't deflate" "okay .... Ima get the shots going" "okay let me go change real quick y'all can go ahead to the kitchen"
YN goes to her changing into her jeans and t shirt grabbing her heels and purse. Bringing it all down stairs. "You two shots behind" Trin says smiling. "Okayyy... pour me up" YN laugh taking her first shot and then the next.
"You feeling better?" "Yes me and him was beefing before my shower" "about what" "I don't wanna talk about it yall let's just go have fun" "who calling the Uber?" Asia asks "got you" may says "everybody spending the night?" "Yupp" "oooou okay let's go have fun" "the Uber only five minutes away.
"Everybody take two more shots" "lord" YN laughed they take their two shots and YN heads to the door to put her shoes on because she had to lace them up. "Uber arriving In two minutes.... Everybody got everything?" "Yesss let's stand outside everybody walks out YN sets her alarm and locks the door. Walking with her friends to the Uber.
"I forgot to take my full body picture for my baby" YN pouted "he checks your outfits?" Asia asked "he likes to see what I have on he likes the way I dress" YN smiled "nasty ass" trin said laughing "anyway somebody take my picture in front of the restaurant please."
"How is your night sir?" Trin asked the Uber driver "good real nice night" YN giggled "yeah she's drunk already" "it was four shots back to back and I can't name one thing I ate today" "bitch you knew we were going out why you ain't eat" "I said I can't name what I ate that don't mean I didn't eat" "you so damn annoying ..." "likewise" they arrive to the restaurant. "Take my pictures Asia please?" She laughed " yeh I got you" "ima check the reservation" trin says "okay I'll go with you" May says
YN poses for her pictures as Asia takes them sending them straight to Jayson.
"Okay your man texting" "thanks Asiaaaaaaaa....he so damn sexy look at how he hypes me" "you do look good friend.... Let's go"
When you get them shoes? You look so pretty baby
I got these a lil while ago Just never wore them
Well have fun tonight .... I'll talk to you when you get in
Okay baby I love youuuuu
I love youuuu
YN and Asia walked into the restaurant and then they were seated. "Can I start you guys off with any drinks?" "Lemon drops all around please" "drink or shot" "one of each "okay great I'll get that in for you guys.
* time skip*
"Damn how long we been waiting for the checks?" May asked YN laughed at least 10 minutes the waitress walks back by "excuse me" "yes?" "Yeah we were asking about our checks" "oh sorry your bill was paid I can bring you a receipt" "everybody bill? Or just hers?" Asia asked "everyone's bill it was all on one ticket" "did you get a tip too?" "Yupp" "oh great okay then yeah a receipt would be great" "alright I'll be right back" "who Tf paid for us?" Trin asked "idk but call that Uber so we can get tf out before they realize" YN laughed soon the waitress brought the receipt back out and they all got up heading outside and soon the Uber was there.
Heading homeeee with the girls
Okay be safe
Always daddy💕💦
Mmmmm you gon show me later
You asking?
Did you see a question mark?
😂😂😂 no
Exactly stop playing with me
I don't know who you think you talking to but this is your girlfriend
Nah
.... This my wife
😂😂👀 wait until I get alone ... you can see whatever you wanna see.
Oh wow.... You like that huh?
Stop playing with meeeeeee
After getting out of the Uber. "Who's car is that YN?" "I can't see that far tbh" YN laugh unlocked the door and turning the alarm off. "Im gonna go change and then I'll meet y'all back down here. "Everybody take fifteen minutes" "okayyyy" YN walked to her room and screamed
"baby!!!!!" "Mmmm hey sexy" Jayson picks her up "you made it" he kissed her lips slowly "I did... and you're not alone" "it doesn't matter" "it does though" "why?" "I'm not fuckin you when you got people in the house" "my friends don't care I promise .... I can suck your dick in front of them and they wouldn't care" "oooou let's do that" she rolled her eyes "that was just an example don't play" "you don't wanna share me?" "Never" "let me go say hey to your people"
"Wait they getting theirselves together I gotta make sure everybody decent before you go down there" "y'all just be walking around naked?" "Hate to kill your fantasy but no😂😂" "no fantasy .... I only think about you. In fact I was thinking about what was gonna happen when you saw me here..... but we can just chill tonight I did miss you" "bae we're having sex tonight .... And I mean that" she smiled "only if you sure nobody will be mad" "first of all it's my house secondly they're gonna know you're here .... And when is the next time I'm gonna see my baby? And have time to get some? They care about me they know I need this" he laughed
"you need me?" "Mhm but since I love them so much I'm not on my knees yet" "when you tell everybody you was coming back down?" "Trin said everybody come in like 15 minutes it's already been like 8 tho" "that gives me time.... Let me eat it real quick ... so I know you'll still want me later" YN didn't hesitate she removed her jeans getting on the bed "I missed you baby" YN says looking up into his eyes he pulls her body closer kissing her lips and sliding a finger inside of her.
"You stay wet for me" he kisses down her body as she gets excited to feel his lips and tongue ... he kisses her thighs she whined causing him to smirk. "Baby?" "Hmm?" "Can you eat my pussy... please?" "Of course baby girl" and with that she felt his tongue lick in between her folds still not focusing on her clit but at this moment it was okay cause it still felt good he glanced at her and then placed her clit in his mouth sucking softly. "Ahhhh" her hips started to move up and down as she began to lose her breath.
"Mmmmmmmm" he moaned against her really causing her to shake. "Oh Jay.... Feels so good" she says softly "you wanna cum for me? Or you wanna see your friends?" "I wanna cummmm" her breath was heavy she was so close he smiled
Let's get real for a second Jayson has no intentions on sharing YN with anyone right now maybe ever.... If his tongue and lips are what's gonna get her to stay in her bedroom then that's what he'll use. "Ride my face bae" he lays on his back she hovers over his face and he pulls her closer "ahhh" "I don't know why you like to play ... suffocate me" her hips begin to rotate against his face the closer she got the harder it was for her to stay on his face
"wait Bae....." his fingers slide inside of her. "Oh gosh oh goshhhhh" "YN YOU READY?" ".....ONE SEC GUYS" "don't stop baby pleaseeee" her legs began to shake around his head "Jayson yes yes yesssss oh baby I'm cumming" she whined softly releasing on his face she heard him slurping her juices up.
"Jay please please pleaseeee" he let go of her and she slowly slides off his face down his chest and to his waist "torture" he groaned she kissed his lips "bae I loved this surprise but I have to make sure every one is good ... come say hey and then you can come back up here" "my dick is hard" "I'll ride it later .... I promise" he laughed slightly "give me a second go head down" "okay Bae"
She gets up grabing her pajama shorts going down stairs she left the door slightly open. "What took you so long?" May asked "well ... Jayson came and surprised me ... he's upstairs" "oh he not gon come say hey?" Asia asked "he is ... soon" "well shit I guess we can all just go to sleep" trin says "why? I'll stay out here with y'all" Jayson comes downstairs smiling bright his basketball shorts lowkey revealing all that belong to YN she bits her lip standing in from of him. He instantly wraps his arms around her,
"Hey ladies sorry to intrude I didn't know you were spending the night" "have you met everybody?"YN asked looking up "Umm no" he laughed YN shook her head "Trin, Asia, and May" "hey I'm Jayson"
"Treating our girl right?" Trin asked "you gotta ask her that I think I'm doing a pretty good job" he kissed the top of YN head making her smile "he ight" he slaps her ass "ima let y'all chill I'll be upstairs... pleasure to met you all " Jayson says walking off "she'll be up soon too Jayson" trin says
"Are you sure?" "You never get to see him ... go enjoy your man" "thanks girls... I'll keep it down... or try too" YN laughed loudly "we got headphones shit" trin says YN gives them a hug while laughing "see y'all in the morning" they all say bye as YN walks back to her room.
"Damn that was quick" he was laying in bed on his phone he glanced up when she walked in "they said I should enjoy you being here.... And I agree" "I ever told you I love your friends?" She laughed "I'll make sure they know" "come here" she walks over to him slowly. "Right here?" He pats his lap "nah .... Up here .... Trying to see something" she smiles straddling him "I do wanna thank you for coming Fr.... I know you had to go out of your way and you'll probably have to leave hella early" "nah you got me..... don't worry about me leaving" she bits her lip "hard not too" "hmmm... come back wit me then it's Friday night" he kissed her lips softly grabbing her ass squeezing.
"For how long?" "Sunday night ... I know you gotta work Monday" she smirked "convince me🫣😉" next thing she knew she was on her back pinned down. "You talk all that shit over the phone... you forget it's different when I'm here" "maybe I want this reaction" "one of these days you're not gonna get it" he slides inside of her making her gasp he doesn't move "why not?" "Why would you?" He laughed moving his hips slightly "fuck" she says softly "nah you gon have to make some noise for me...." she laughed slightly
"Jayson please" "please what?" He kissed her lips "go slow I'm tipsy" "you wanna stop?" "Did I say that?" She smirked "YN what did I ask you" she rolled her eyes he stops "I don't want you to stop Jayson" she whined "you really a big ass brat" she kisses his lips as he pulls out "Jay—" "shhh I got you" he slides back in deeply going slow she closed her eyes "that feel good?" She opened her mouth but couldn't say much "hmm?" He asks "-Y—e-ssss"it came out broken but he liked when she couldn't speak.
His thrust were slow and deep as he continued to kiss her. The kissing was just as intense as his hips moving she moved her legs to wrap around his waist but they were already shaking. "Fuck" he groaned in her ear. "Baby?" She asked he bit his lip focusing on anything but her soft moans and how good she felt but naturally his hips started to go faster "Jaysonnn—- fuck" his hand began to rub her clit because he knew he wasn't gonna last much longer "hmm? What you want?" "Don't cum yet" he took a deep breath pulling out his face was quickly in between Her thighs eating her out again
"ahhhuuhghgh" she moaned loudly slapping her hand across her mouth his big hands grabbed her boobs stimulating her nipples. "Hold and spread your legs" slowly but surely she lifted her legs spreading them she watched as his tongue placed patterns all over her clit. "Yesss baby yess"
He hummed bringing her closer to his face. Two fingers slipped inside her massaging her g spot as his thumb rubbed her clit. He kissed up her body to her lips "cum for me likes this okay?" "Yesss yesss" "I want you to squirt all over this fuckin bed you hear me? Cum for me" "ahh!!" "YN do what I fuckin said" her body shook as he brought her closer and closer and closer and then she lost it completely.
A shaking moaning mess he kisses her sliding back inside he places his hands on the backs of her thighs so that her legs can stay up and pinned to the bed. "This dick is so good.... It's deep" "yeah? I'm deep" "so deep baby" "you can feel it?" "Yesss daddy I feel it" "ooou where you feel it?" "In my stomach fuck....don't stop" he was hoping that orgasm was gonna keep her at bay but ... he was wrong she needed more she wanted more.
"I can feel you... squeezing me ... you holding it" "I don't want you to stop and you keep trying to" "why you don't wanna stop" he slows down "Jayson please" "I'm asking" "it's feels good I ju—-ughhhh fuck oh fuck oh fuckkkkkkkkkkkk yessssss right there right there" " don't hold nothin unless I tell you to ... do you hear me?" "Fuckkkk" he feels her relax and immediately after her juices start to flow out of her. Then he pulls out flipping her over and pulling her hips to him teasing her a little bit and then sliding back inside her.
"Yes yes yessss" "still deep?" "Yesss Jayson so fuckin ughhhhh" "your arch is amazing don't lose it" "oh fuckkkk" "bounce that ass on me" he pauses his movements so she could do exactly what he said "look at me when you do that shit" she glanced back and as soon as she did he grabbed her hips fucking her again. She burried her face back into the mattress. "Uh uh... gimmie that pussy baby" he pulls her hair "fuckkkk Jayson I'm about to—-" "you can't beg for me to stay in you if you don't know how to take my dick..... take it" he spanks her ass making her lose it completely.
She slides his dick out of her turning around to suck him. "You want me to cum?" "Mhmm daddy I want you to cum in my mouth" he grabs her hair as she continued to suck him slowly while stroking. "Look at me baby" he said softly his voice sounding horse from all the groaning. She continued to moan as he finally released in her mouth he held her head until he was finished. She slowly removed her mouth swallowing. She sits looks up at him. "I'm ready for bed" he shook his head kissing her forehead. "Let's go to sleep then. "Turn that fan on please" she says and then rolls to the side of the bed she usually lets him sleep on.
"What you doing?" "I figured you would wanna sleep in the wet spot cause I don't" "you made it wet you sleep in it" "no" she smiled Jayson walks over picking her up placing her on the floor and then getting in the bed. "Lay on top of me then" "to sleep?" "Yeah... come here" "I don't wanna crush your little frame" "stop playing with me" "just sleep bae" "tell yourself that ... cause I know that" YN gets on top of him pulling the cover over both of them. "I could've just changed the sheets and comforter" "I think you got the mattress wet" "I didn't though" "mmm okay" "sucker" he grabbed her face kissing her slowly "goodnight big head I love you" " I love you too"
*the next Morning*
YN felt guilty for leaving her friends so she got up early fixing everyone breakfast. French toast bacon and hash browns. Trin was the first one up and out then Asia sauntered out eventually May came too.
"Surprised you up and walking around" Trin says "of course y'all heard me dammit" YN laughed "I didn't think you was trying to be quiet" Asia said "it don't matter regardless though" Trin jumps back in "I was ... but y'all know me the sex is actually really good and I'm already extra so you put two and two together" everyone laughed "he had to leave?"
"No he's still upstairs I'm trying to decide if I was going to with him when he leaves today" "I mean when would you come back?" "Sunday night... which seems pointless right?" "Not if he wants you there I feel like if you can you should" Asia says YN bits her lips "I get that too" Jayson comes in on que
"Goodmorning ladies" "Goodmorning Jayson" they say in unison YN laughs while rolling her eyes. he walks over to her kissing her slowly "Goodmorning to you especially" "Goodmorning ... you wanna eat with us?" "Yeah I'll eat with y'all what's going on" "welll I was talking about you" YN smiled "yeah I'll take my breakfast in the living room" he joked sitting down YN brings his plate "nooo I want you here" "so what about me?" "Nothing too bad just im coming with you today" "good"
Everyone continues to eat and talk until one by one the girls left. "You cooked so I'll get the dishes" Jayson looked down at her kissing her forehead "you can just rinse and put them in the dish washer .... I'll go pack" "okay sounds good to me..." "you sure?" She smiled he look like he was pouting "gimmie kiss" she licked her lips slowly. "When you get done" "mmmm no now" she smiled walked over to him kissing his lips quickly.
"That's good?" "One more" She tried to kisses him quickly again but he added tongue so she started kissing back and then he pulled away. "Go get packed" she bit her lip walking away going up the stairs.
One thing she didn't wanna admit to her friends is the perspective she's gained from last night to tonight ....she's noticed that he honestly doesn't wanna share her and it's not just something cute he likes to say. Of course she invited him last night. But he got the plane and made it to her within 3 hours meaning he got his pilot and staff to the jet in a hour.... He was ready for the invite in other words. Did he have them on call? He walks into her closet staring
"do I need anything nice for dinners? Or are we just staying in?" "You should bring a few outfits for dates" "conservative?" "Not too conservative... but maybe one or two we are having dinner with my mom and her boyfriend" "am I invited?" "I just told you what to wear? Is that not obvious" she laughed slightly "I guess I'm just a little confused .... you didn't know I would be there tonight so how are you making plans for me and you ... and other people?" "I was already having dinner with them and now you're coming home so of course you're coming what's wrong?" She walked over to him holding him close "baby I am home" "you know what I'm saying" she walked away sighing "Maybe we need some space?"
#lameloball#mistresstomrs#black girl stories#black writers#jayson tatum#lamelo#support black writers#jayson#jaysontatumxreader#lamelo ball
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LMK season 2 episode 0:
Noogie!!!
"Sounds like a shady lesson." "Too soon, buddy." 👀👀👀 gee I wonder what this is about... (makes note to look out for anything to do with shadows)
Is MK the only person Wukong really interacts with? He seems a bit lonely
Wow, Mei, mind that 4th wall!
Respectfully, I dont believe Pigsy for a second
UHHHHHH
SQUINT
Is this episode going to make me want to seek out fanfiction? I'm thinking it might
WHAT THE FUCK
BODY HORROR????????
RUN GUYS
I forgot he was afraid of spiders, this should be interesting and potentially really traumatic
Am I reading into things too much, or did it look like Wukong went looking for his shadow when the room went dark?
Fascinating
Omg Red Son has opened a food cart. In the air on if his food is edible though
Okay buddy, we get it, you have daddy issues
Oh DBK is here too!
Yes you did, shut up, you're a bad father
He said please!
I mostly just find Red Son amusing. His evil is generational
What did I say a few episodes ago!
Don't fuck this up Red Son
Why has it taken me this long to realize that Sandy actually has *hands*???
I love Mei
Mei is gonna break his brain, talking like that
"I've just decided: she's next on my hit list" See, if I thought he was in any way serious or an actual threat, I might get mad at him saying that cause I love Mei. But Red Son literally doesn't register as a threat to me. Give him some therapy and some friends and I think he'd settle down
Tang is such a nerd
Smile from Pigsy when he and Tang find the pills
Mirror? Feels like a good thing... I will not let my dnd experiences ruin all enchanted mirrors for me lmao
Is Pigsy going to strangle this guy with sausages? I would honestly love to see that
Did- did shadow vines just drag this spider guy to hell????
Now that's what I call a hot exit
Red Son is so done with them and their hopeful bullshit
Proud of MK for fighting through his spider phobia
That was very smart, getting DBK mad to break them out and fight Spider Queen
"I will rip the memory of you from this world" I'm sure that's fine
Uhhhhh.... yeah I'm sure that wasn't a premonition, I'm sure everything is good, hahaha...
I like how they're all standing together (Red Son is going to get domesticated against his will by this group, I can feel it)
I really dig MK and Wukong's relationship
I think Mei has a new favorite pass time and it is rilling up Red Son
HIS EYES WHEN DBK CALLED HIM SON
This is fine
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uhhhhh this site sucks i had to edit this four times to get the thing to actually do thee cut goddamn its more cuz its a block'a text no one should be forced to scroll THAT long over sheesh
Just putting it under a read more as people really hate the animation/show and the weird thing is it's one of the few times I think I've related to a character present in it (who is usually the topic of everyone's derision) in such a way where it's like looking in a mirror when I was... god, fucking 12 - 22~, and kind of it clicking in my head what was wrong with me. Not like, full picture, but. I don't know, I never really related to a character like this before and it's weird. Not necessarily in a bad way, either. Like, it makes me uncomfortable. Sure, but it's kind of... a healthy discomfort, for me at least. To see it all laid out in this way where it... and I feel pathetically stupid for this, clicked in my head why someone from my trans therapy group yelled at me after they realized how I was treating myself. I went through a lot of similar dark places. I behaved in similar ways. I got yelled at, like I deserved, but never understood why someone cared. I've been working on self improvement in this area for a while, and it's absolutely the hardest one. And a lot of it did, maybe stupidly? Begin with this character and some of the songs that followed, and now I'm really thinking back on it since my boyfriend and I watched the newly released show and. There's a scene that hit me really hard. I don't think it didn't belong there. It nailed in the idiot part of my brain the "see? other people have problems like that. Know people like that. Are treated that way, too. It's not that there's something wrong with you, intrinsically. Just a dash of rotten luck and collapsing in on yourself in the aftermath." It took it seriously, in a context that meshed with my brain to where I felt like "yeah, that's. That's at least. How I felt. Pretty much. When I was treated like that. Brushed it off and turned it into jokes, too." I don't wanna get into all the nitty gritty details, because they aren't pretty and I still have to contend with it. But it felt kinda... mmm, I don't know, like when I saw so many people shitting on it - saying it doesn't belong, in fact, this should never be portrayed, it's immoral to portray this and so on. I have such a warped view of... the topic, I guess? But I mean, it did help me contextualize a few things better that I've been struggling to. And I found a lot of comfort in that uncomfortable scene because of that. And... like, I know I have a... how do I phrase it, like a... not... normal view? Since I... like, was kinda... I mean. Like. I. I don't know. I mean I know. I just. You know. But I don't know, like. I feel nervous talking about it, because of the media property it's related to and how strongly people feel about it. And, I mean, I know the healthy answer is to just be "fuck it, you're allowed" but I guess I just think back to all the times things I liked/cared about were shit on and feel like "Should... I feel... guilty? Because I kinda do. And I don't think I should. But maybe I should? Is there something to it or... something that I don't get?" and yeah this is about Angel Dust in Hazbin Hotel. yeah this is the character story that got me to (even with the pilot/songs) try to actually tackle this shit 'cuz I still can't get myself to physically talk about these things irl. and. idk. its. mm. its hard to really feel like im. i just. i dont talk about it much at all 'cuz i dont wanna annoy people if they hate the show 'n stuff 'cuz i know ppl feel strongly and. yeah. so i over explained it because a part of me wanted to express a kinda... happiness that a story got me to think better about myself. and i dont. understand why there's so many like. snap judgments or vitriol, i guess.
#i thought i wrote above the readmore oops#anyway its a long block of text about a character and a show a lotta ppl really hate#u know Hzbn Htl and im writing it that way cuz#like i aint tryin to have this turn up in search results if i can help it u kno#but i mean i wrote it KNOWING that can happen so like#yeah#idk
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