#when summer comes around and I’m covered in scars that’ll be my problem won’t it not urs

[justasadboi]

Someone once compared having bpd to being a burn victim because when you get burned badly ur nerves are exposed so even the air touching you feels like knives and I feel like I have just set myself on fire even though I have already been burned. This has been a cycle for as long as I can remember. I just want my skin to heal and grown back and allow me to be strong and brave. All I feel is exposed and knives

[razorblade180]

Twin Snowflakes pt5: Support

Nicholas:*writing* What did you get for the thermal and physics question on the back?

Valerie:...... There’s a back?

Nick:I’m starting to think this studying isn’t mutually beneficial.....

*door opens*

Summer:Hey Nick, I’m back from- oh..... what’s up Val.

Valerie:Hey Snow Angel, you look wonderful as usual.

Summer:Really? I feel like a mess and a little hun- ahhhh!

Her sentence was cut off by Nicholas grabbing each side of her face and pulling it enough to hurt.

Summer:Agh!!! Let go let go let go let go let go!

Nick:This is what you get for not remembering to text me that you went for a check up! Getting intense sudden chills through my body is scary. What do you have to say for yourself?

Summer:I’m sorry!!!!!! I’m sorry!!!!!! Please stop!

Nick:*lets go* That’s all I wanted.

Summer:*rubbing her face* I’m not five, you gotta stop pinching me like that. I can feel my face getting red. Well, redder I suppose.

Valerie: I say it’s an improvement. Care to join us for a quick study session? I bet you know this stuff like the back of your hand by now.

Summer:What subject?

Valerie:Science.....mostly physics now; even though we’ll probably never use it. *twirling pencil*

Summer*cringes* Yeah I can’t help with that. Not on the physics portion yet.

Nick:You’d be if you showed up to school more often. Probably be top student in all your classes actually.

Summer:Good point. Counterpoint, no.... that’s a title I’m fine seeing you have. School is a war zone. I avoid the crossfire as much as possible. Having a solid B in everything is more than enough.

Valerie:Which reminds me, you have two more times to miss P.E. before you automatically fail.

What little happiness she had was washed away with annoyance as the two of them hears her groan like restless toddler. Nick couldn’t help but enjoy seeing his sister flip her attitude so easily. It does comes with plenty of practice he supposes. For better or for.....no, it’s usually just for worse.

Summer:I guess it’s a good thing I have a doctors note.

Nick:I thought mom got Penny to stop signing those.

Summer:The thing about Penny’s hand writing is literally so perfect that only a machine could do it. So I got one of those metal arm machines in the lab to do it.

Nick:That sounds like more work than showing up.

Summer:That’s because it is. How much longer are you two studying?

Valerie:Actually I think I’m calling it a day. If I cram anymore than I have then I might actually explode. I’m sure I can handle whatever the test throws at me. After all, I’m awesome.... *starts glowing*

Nick:Pfft all that tough talk as usual.

Valerie:You more than anyone knows there’s plenty of muscle behind and skill behind them. That’s why the from the recent tournament medal in my room is gold while yours matches the forks and spoon you eat with. *pokes his nose*

Nick:Oh I do hope you make it all the way to finals in the single matches of Ruler of the Castle, because I’m totally making it to the end.

Valerie:*leaning in* I’m sorry, that sounds like you’re looking for a rematch. A world televised rematch at that. You sure you wanna live a world with two silver medals? At least they’ll match your outfit good enough. *smirking*

Nick:Just like your silver tongue. *smirking*

Valerie:Oooo that’s the only silver you won’t be getting.

The two of them enter another state off a tension and heated excitement. Summer watches the two peas in a pod act like their usual, over the top selves. If she had had a nickel for every time the top of them but heads like this then she would rich regardless of her family name.

Summer:Are you two done having a moment or should I leave the room again?

Valerie:*stands up* Nah, I should head home soon anyways. I got an early day of training tomorrow; you never know when someone might try and catch you off gaurd. *walking out*

Nick:That fact you gotta train for me is compliments enough.

Valerie:Whatever dork, I’ll see you in school. Now Summer, if you’re not going to school then maybe afterwards we could go see a movie or...

Summer:*slowly closing door* See you around Val. *smiles*

Valerie:Y...yeah! Bye.....*red*

*door closes*

Nick:*whistles* not even gonna walk her to the front door; truly you are a cold mistress my dear sister. *snickering*

Summer:Oh shut up, you just let all that trash talk happen because any conversation with her is heaven in your eyes. You’re so hopeless hehe.

Nick:It’s all in good fun like it’s always been. Same old same old.

Summer:For your sake it better be. Like she said, that rematch is gonna be televised if it happens.

Nick:Aww you worried about your big bro?

Summer:I’m worried that your antics will rope me into them as usual. Last thing I need to be is known has “Summer, sister of two hit chump.”

Nick:Ah! So little faith. If anything we should be more concerned about duo’s since that requires both of us firing on all cylinders.

Summer:Speaking of that.......a fancy signature isn’t all I ended up taking.

Nervously she chuckled as she shook out her sleeves to reveal two tiny vials of Diamond Dust. The sight of the substance caused Nicholas’s jaw to drop. He wanted to grab it out her hand immediately but he could tell how tight her grip was on them. Last thing anyone wants is for those break on accident. Wariness comes across both of their faces as they stare at the vials.

Nick:Why do you have those?

Summer:I was hoping you and I could do our own testing. Penny is a huge help but there’s only so much you can learn in a lab. Maybe what needs to happen is more.... practical test.

Nick:That’s why we go to the woods outside of Argus and put you in the cold!

Summer:Yeah but the cold and dust are kinda on two different levels.

Nick:Oh I know! Do you not remember when you got covered in this stuff.

Summer:........

Summer:You know I haven’t.

Nick:Sigh Summer, I didn’t mean to-

Summer:I’m aware of the risks. I understand this idea is a stupid idea. Even so, I’m tired of feeling like my wheels are spinning. *gives him vials* Just study them and figure out how we could possibly make me better.

Nick:Better, or stronger?

Summer:.....If we do this right then there won’t be a difference. We’ll take first place for sure and I’ll be one step closer to just being me. Being, normal and approachable. Maybe finally eat a bowl of ice cream without some voice nagging me or go outside and not stress out if I’m a little underdressed. I could finally feel like it is my life, that I’m living..... *looks down* last time I felt like that was when I was four.

Nick:*frowning*.......I can’t promise we’ll achieve anything huge but obviously I’ll try something. I just don’t want us doing something that’ll take you away from me; I promised to always lend you hand in need. Messing with this stuff feels like breaking that promise. Like I’ll end up hurting you again.

Again, it wasn’t the first time Summer has heard them. No matter what people assured him, Nicholas always blamed himself for the incident. Kids have tantrums and get a little rambunctious. Who could’ve predicted his would’ve ended with an accidental stunt so disastrous. It was a miracle that he could even look at the scars on her body as far as Summer is concerned. A thousand times she’s waited for the fearful day when even her own brother couldn’t stand them, yet he sees pass them like all who truly know her do. Unfortunately, there’s always a bit of glimmer of guilt in his eyes she wishes she could snuff out. Not just for him, but for her as well. That’s why Shiva has to go. Maybe, just maybe if she can finally get rid of the true thing that constantly reminds them of the past then everything else can finally start healing right; she could start healing right. Her arms reached out grab him on each side.

Summer:🎶Don’t worry, I got you. Nothing will ever harm you. I’m close by. I’ll stay here. Through alll things......🎶

Nicholas: “I will be near.” I can’t believe you still know that song.

Summer:You sung it to me everyday you visited me in the hospital. It didn’t matter if I was awake or unconscious; I could hear my amazing older brother sing and play a guitar for the first time just so he can comfort me. *tearing up* You’re the reason sing now, not mom. I want you to shine like gold the way you want me to. Not once have you ever hurt me. Everything you do for me makes me feel better. Let me try to return the favor.

Nick:.......*rubbing his eyes* We are going to get into serious trouble if someone finds out or something goes wrong.

Summer:Sounds par for the course. At least we’ll be yelled at together. *smiles*

Nick:Stronget together right?

Summer:Stronger together. *hugs him tightly*

xxx

“You wavered back then. What I didn’t let you see was I was just as nervous as you, but for once it really nice to have the roles reversed. To be the person that other’s needed to lean on. Maybe that’s why I pushed the idea so hard. Maybe that’s why I came up with it in the first place. Why did I come up with that idea? Why.... why couldn’t I just listen to you? Am I.... am I really that selfish? I guess that makes sense. After all, the only thing I’m good at is being a problem. I’m sorry..... I’m so, so sorry.

xxx

The final days of winter break soon disappeared like a fleeting dream. Nicholas found himself pretty eager to get back to school as he put on his shoes and made sure his school uniform was perfectly clean. Most people whined about being groomed in the hopes that the rigid rules would make them more at ease to one day go to Atlas to continue their studies. He honestly didn’t care since he had no real attention of going anywhere else. Other places interested him but Atlas has a charm about it and one day it’ll be his job to keep it charming. That fact however, did make him a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Just another thing on his plate to ponder about whenever he has time to do so.

Nicholas made his way down the hallway to Summer’s room. It was still pretty early but that’s because he likes the walk to school or stop by a coffee shop before he goes. The young man finally made it to the warm, wooden door and knocked. The heat from inside could be felt the hinges and made its way to him. Being rich is wonderful thing; power bills would be this families worse nightmare otherwise.

Nick:Summer, I’m gonna walk to school. Wanna join me?

Summer:*groaning* I’m good, be safe out there. Plenty of people on the streets on visitors from the break and-

Nick:Horrible at driving in the snow; I know I know. Are you going to school today at all or should I save my wallet from buying an unnecessary hot chocolate?

Summer:......I’ll think about it.

Nick:*shakes his head*

Summer:I can feel you judging me. Goodbye Nick!

Nick:Yeah yeah, have a good day sis. *walking away*

Summer:*laying in bed and staring at a calendar that says “Today💀” on it.”

Summer:.......I guess I’m using that doctors note sooner than I hoped. *yawns* just...my.....Zzzzz

Quickly she drifts off to sleep peacefully until a knock on the door wakes her up again. The little bit of light through her window tells her that it’s still far too early to be up. The knocking continues to happen in a familiar rhythm but she can’t exactly place it.

Summer:I’m coming. *gets up*

*knock knock knock*

Summer:Ugh, dad I love you but what could you possibly- *opens door* w....want........

Shiva:Well I’m not your father but there’s plenty of things I want. Care to discuss them?

Part 4

[agirlinjapan]

Red Data Girl: World Heritage Girl (Week 29)

Red Data Girl: World Heritage Girl By Noriko Ogiwara A Translation

Miss the last piece? Read it here!

Check out the RDG Translation twitter!

Whoa! It’s the second to last week of RDG 4! Part of me wants to ask where the time went but really, it’s been a while since I started posting RDG 4 and I know it. (28 weeks x 2... Wow.) End of semester work is somehow still dragging by. All the final work is done but I still have two classes that keep meeting even when everything else is over so I have work to do for them. I’ll get a week of vague respite in the middle of June but then summer semester starts right up from there. Still, I’m graduating at the end of July so it’ll all be worth it!

Red Data Girl: World Heritage Girl By Noriko Ogiwara Chapter 4: Boundary Part 3 (1 of 2)

Coming together as a group, the student government members met and discussed their findings in front of the classroom building. The result was a decision to set up the tent for the parents’ bazaar in front of the library.

The space had merit. Seeing as the haunted house would be on its other side, the area would be busy, even on the first day. Plus, the bazaar’s suggested location was big and open, located between the classroom building and the lecture hall.

Honoka had been the one to suggest the library location and while the first year students had not spoken up, it seemed like an awfully strange coincidence that the chosen space would be the center of the barrier which they had just discovered. Izumiko had wanted to object but she couldn’t say at all whether it was a good or bad thing that the parents would be filling up the space.  

When the student government headed towards the lecture hall, the Souda siblings quietly slipped away to go see the place that Miyuki had told them about. The sky had already grown dark by this time which worried Izumiko. Still, seeing as Manatsu would be with his sister and he was confident in what he was doing, she supposed they would be okay. If Manatsu was coming along then Masumi could join them if the need arose.

Manatsu, who was rarely serious about anything, did not cling to his sister on a regular basis. It was clear that he wanted to do very different things than she did. However, when there was danger involved he would never leave his sister on her own. Izumiko was envious of their bond.

Miyuki and I are totally different. And speaking of that…

Her one wish for Mayura and Manatsu was that they would call on their deceased sibling, Masumi. Izumiko was sure that the spirit in Togakushi would acquiesce to the pair’s resonating call and come to them. The triplets were of one body and mind. It was something Izumiko would never have.

When the Souda siblings returned safely, Izumiko was diligently spray painting Styrofoam on the lecture hall’s newspaper covered floor. Mayura and Manatsu beckoned Izumiko and Miyuki over to them with a hand gesture. Once they were all standing in the corner, the pair conveyed their information in whispers.

“We get what you were saying, Miyuki. And you too, Izumiko. Whatever’s buried out there is just like what Takayanagi set up on the website before. When I realized that, my scar really hurt,” Mayura said, her voice angry.

Manatsu stood by her side, looking serious.

“It makes me sick. This dangerous guy’s been up to something this whole time without anyone knowing it and he’s been acting like none of this has anything to do with him.”

“I don’t think many students go that far out into the woods but it’s still there…” Mayura added.

Miyuki nodded in agreement. “If we dig it up, I know it’ll be something pretty bad. Did you guys try to get it?”

“Masumi could get rid of it, no problem,” Manatsu answered a bit uncomfortably. “But Masumi’s an outsider once he leaves Togakushi and he only gets involved when Mayura or I get hurt. Besides, trying something like that on purpose would be insane.”

“Don’t try it,” Izumiko said without thinking. She recalled the shattered windows of the student government room, Mayura and Miyuki injured and covered with cuts, and the monster like thing that had flown around and around in the air. That was something she didn’t want happening a second time.

“I wonder why they made the barrier. Mayura, Manatsu, do you know?”

“I want to know that, too,” Manatsu responded immediately. “If there are spirits being called to the school, what’s the reason behind it?”

Mayura paused for a moment to think.

“…I’m not quite certain of this yet but it was probably a big deal for Tanayanagi to give up using shikigami. Izumiko could detect them, right? We’re guessing that shikigami and spirits are different. Even so, Manatsu and I still can’t see them that well even if they’re spirits and they must be something close to what Masumi is.”

As his hands were dirty with paint, Miyuki rubbed his face with an arm.

“Would vengeful spirits be considered the same as ghosts?” he asked. “I’m not sure if I could define them as the same thing. You could think about vengeful spirits as things that harm living beings but I’ve also heard ghost stories where people just look at ghosts and die sudden deaths.”

“When you say that, I guess divine spirits, shikigami, ghosts, and vengeful spirits are just categories that living people like us have made up.”

The four of them weren’t sure what to think.

“If the school has become a hospitable place for spirits, at least that should mean that it’s become hospitable for Masumi too,” Mayura said, sounding a little strained. “If we call for help, it should definitely be easy for him to come. But I don’t really want to show off him off to the enemy for nothing. He’s become our secret weapon after all.”

Miyuki agreed. “And what about the teachers who we think might be diviners?” he asked. “Is Takayanagi the sort of person to drag an adult into this game?”

Mayura shrugged. “He’s the hope of the diviners. In the world of magic, apprenticeship is necessary. High schoolers like us are just a group of fledglings. No matter what, there’ll be powerful adults backing us up for sure.”

“That’s probably what Takayanagi was saying, too,” Izumiko said without thinking. She instantly regretted it as soon as she realized what she had said. Miyuki shot her a particularly cold look and she made herself small.

“…He said that no one was standing on their own feet.”  

There was no judgement on Mayura’s face.

“I see… Then I get it now. That’s got to be the point of the parents’ bazaar. So we can’t complain about helpers coming in from outside during the festival either.”

“Are you saying that the bazaar was placed outside of the library so that they could help from there?”

“I don’t know but we need to be careful.”

Miyuki eyed Mayura appraisingly. “Mayura, how are you planning to counter him? Do you already know how you’re going to start?”

“We have backup too,” she said as if considering her words. “If he plans to use his support, we’ll throw in ours as well.”

“With the barrier as it is?”

“It would be difficult to drop the barrier by the day of the festival. There’s not much time left. And anyway, we still need to think up a way that’ll let us drop the barrier in the first place.”

Miyuki considered this for a moment and then nodded. “I’d say the risk is fifty-fifty. We’ll keep an eye on the chemistry club in one way or another but I don’t think we should interfere in anyway. We can’t give ourselves away.”

After Mayura and Izumiko had finished their work and returned to the girl’s dorm, Mayura seemed to remember what Miyuki had said earlier that day. She quickly turned to Izumiko who was waking up her computer and asked, “Now that I think about it, Sagara’s been taking chemistry and biology as a first year, hasn’t he? I think I might take chemistry in my second year but I don’t recommend it for you and Manatsu. Sagara is taking science now though, right?”

So far, Mayura, Manatsu, and Izumiko had only chosen to take the required earth science class. Not having a class that utilized the science laboratory, they only saw Mr. Morozumi and Mr. Kazuma in passing in the school building. Izumiko turned in her seat towards Mayura and inclined her head.

“Yeah, I guess. I know he did really well in his math class too.”

“During exams, he got perfect scores on everything. My dad knows a lot of elite people in the social sciences. I’ve met them a bunch of times and I think that Sagara’s the type that’s going to head towards a job in politics or business. He’s totally different from the academics.”

Izumiko casually recalled the book Miyuki had read over spring break. If anything could be said about it, it had sounded like a biology book.

“I think Sagara likes biology. He’s always been interested in insects.”

“Maybe he wants to go to a medical school. Like Tokyo University Medical School,” Mayura said expectantly.

Her tone made Izumiko’s eyes go wide. She had never imagined Miyuki in a white lab coat until now.

“He’s said he wants to go to Tokyo University but I haven’t asked him what he wants to major in. We’ve never talked about college classes.”  

“Maybe he’ll become a surgeon in the future and perform miraculous heart procedures,” Mayura said, describing her own plans. “I want to do that if I can but even if I get good math grades, I still have to be a science genius. I probably won’t make it. I’m starting to figure that out. But if Sagara decides to study medicine, he’ll be able to shop around.”

“Shop around?”

“I mean, schools will want to convince him to come,” Mayura answered casually with a laugh. “He’s friends with his teachers. Of course he said he won’t pry into their secrets. Unlike the people who just have to be careful about their grades, he can’t get on their bad sides just for the sake of the school festival. That’s why we have to look for someone who doesn’t have a connection to this right now. Izumiko, will you help me? All you’d have to do is use your special sight to help me look for a little bit.”

“Sure. Alright.” Izumiko nodded without having to consider it.

However, her thoughts changed course after she got into bed.

What if Miyuki really does want to be a doctor in the future?...

Izumiko did not have any idea of what she wanted to do after graduating from school. That worried her as well. After all, if she were a normal student, she would obviously have something she wanted to do in the future. It would be even stranger for an excellent student like Miyuki with expectations coming at him from all sides to not have a dream of what he wanted to do next.

…Miyuki definitely has the ability to help society. If he becomes a doctor, or a teacher, or makes a name for himself in the political or financial world, none of that would be unexpected.    

Izumiko was a completely different story.

I wonder what I should do…

Thinking about it made her chest hurt. She supposed she should choose something that allowed her to stop thinking about how she wanted to get closer to Miyuki.

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