#when pigs fly 2016

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

I'm gonna be fussing over fixing things on these for months on end if I don't just post now, so in honour of his birthday, some painting practice of Glenn Howerton in the short film When Pigs Fly <3

[book--brackets]

Dragonkeeper Chronicles by Donita K. Paul (2004-2008)

When Kale, a slave girl, finds a dragon egg, she is given the unexpected opportunity to become a servant to Paladin. But on her way to The Hall, where she was to be trained, Kale runs into danger. Rescued by a small band of Paladin's servants, Kale is turned from her destination. 

Feeling afraid and unprepared, Kale embarks on a perilous quest to find the meech dragon egg stolen by the foul Wizard Risto. But their journey is threatened when a key member of the party is captured, leaving the remaining companions to find the Wizard Fenworth, attempt an impossible rescue, and recover the egg--whose true value they have not begun to suspect.

Clocktaur War by T. Kingfisher (2017-2018)

A paladin, an assassin, a forger, and a scholar ride out of town. It's not the start of a joke, but rather an espionage mission with deadly serious stakes. T. Kingfisher's new novel begins the tale of a murderous band of criminals (and a scholar), thrown together in an attempt to unravel the secret of the Clockwork Boys, mechanical soldiers from a neighboring kingdom that promise ruin to the Dowager's city.

If they succeed, rewards and pardons await, but that requires a long journey through enemy territory, directly into the capital. It also requires them to refrain from killing each other along the way At turns darkly comic and touching, Clockwork Boys puts together a broken group of people trying to make the most of the rest of their lives as they drive forward on their suicide mission.

The Deed of Paksenarrion by Elizabeth Moon (1988-1989)

Paksenarrion — Paks for short — is somebody special. She knows it, even if nobody else does yet. No way will she follow her father's orders to marry the pig farmer down the road. She's off to join the army, even if it means she can never see her family again.

And so her adventure begins... the adventure that transforms her into a hero remembered in songs, chosen by the gods to restore a lost ruler to his throne.

Here is her tale as she lived it.

Paks is trained as a mercenary, blooded, and introduced to the life of a soldier . . . and to the followers of Gird, the soldier's god.

Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica by James A. Owen (2006-2016)

An unusual murder brings together three strangers, John, Jack, and Charles, on a rainy night in London during the first World War. An eccentric little man called Bert tells them that they are now the caretakers of the Imaginarium Geographica -- an atlas of all the lands that have ever existed in myth and legend, fable and fairy tale. These lands, Bert claims, can be traveled to in his ship the Indigo Dragon, one of only seven vessels that is able to cross the Frontier between worlds into the Archipelago of Dreams.

Pursued by strange and terrifying creatures, the companions flee London aboard the Dragonship. Traveling to the very realm of the imagination itself, they must learn to overcome their fears and trust in one another if they are to defeat the dark forces that threaten the destiny of two worlds. And in the process, they will share a great adventure filled with clues that lead readers to the surprise revelation of the legendary storytellers these men will one day become.

Dragon Jousters by Mercedes Lackey (2003-2006)

The first book in this thrilling new series introduces us to a young slave who dreams of becoming a jouster-one of the few warriors who can actually ride a flying dragon. And so, in secret, he begins to raise his own dragon...

Frontier Magic by Patricia C. Wrede (2009-2012)

Eff was born a thirteenth child. Her twin brother, Lan, is the seventh son of a seventh son. This means he's supposed to possess amazing talent -- and she's supposed to bring only bad things to her family and her town. Undeterred, her family moves to the frontier, where her father will be a professor of magic at a school perilously close to the magical divide that separates settlers from the beasts of the wild.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan (2017)

The Borderlands aren’t like anywhere else. Don’t try to smuggle a phone or any other piece of technology over the wall that marks the Border ― unless you enjoy a fireworks display in your backpack. (Ballpoint pens are okay.) There are elves, harpies, and ― best of all as far as Elliot is concerned ― mermaids.  "Serene," said Serene. "My full name is Serene-Heart-in-the-Chaos-of-Battle." Elliot? Who’s Elliot? Elliot is thirteen years old. He’s smart and just a tiny bit obnoxious. Sometimes more than a tiny bit. When his class goes on a field trip and he can see a wall that no one else can see, he is given the chance to go to school in the Borderlands. It turns out that on the other side of the wall, classes involve a lot more weaponry and fitness training and fewer mermaids than he expected. On the other hand, there’s Serene-Heart-in-the-Chaos-of-Battle, an elven warrior who is more beautiful than anyone Elliot has ever seen, and then there’s her human friend Luke: sunny, blond, and annoyingly likeable. There are lots of interesting books. There’s even the chance Elliot might be able to change the world. In Other Lands is the exhilarating new book from beloved and bestselling author Sarah Rees Brennan. It’s a novel about surviving four years in the most unusual of schools, about friendship, falling in love, diplomacy, and finding your own place in the world ― even if it means giving up your phone.

Iron Butterfly by Chanda Hahn (2012-2014)

Imprisoned, starved and left with no memories, Thalia awakens to find herself at the mercy of an evil cult known as the Septori. Their leader has chosen Thalia as the test subject for a torture device of untold power, designed to change and twist her into something that is neither human nor Denai.

Escaping, Thalia finds an unwilling warrior to protect her and an unlikely Denai to befriend her. After finding a home at the Citadel as a servant, Thalia’s worst nightmare comes to life and she begins to show signs of power. Scared and unable to control her gifts, she tries to hide her past to fit in among the Denai. But the Septori want their latest test subject back and will stop at nothing to retrieve her, dead or alive.

Old Magic by Marianna Curley (2000)

Jarrod Thornton is mesmerizing, but Kate Warren doesn’t know why.

Jarrod is the clumsy new boy at school that Kate can’t take her eyes off, and it’s not just because he has amazing eyes, but because she senses something different about him, and when he inadvertently blows up the classroom, she knows exactly what it is. He has powers like her, except he doesn’t know it and Kate sets out to show him. On their journey of discovery Kate learns Jarrod has an ancient curse on his family that will keep hurting his little brother and parents if they don’t do something to remove it.

Faerie Tale by Raymond E. Feist (1988)

Successful screenwriter Phil Hastings decides to move his family from sunny California to a ramshackle farmhouse in New York State. The idea is to take some time out, relax and pick up the threads of his career as a novelist. Good plan, bad choice. The place they choose is surrounded by ancient woodland. The house they choose is the centrepoint of a centuries-old evil intent on making its presence felt to intruders.

[jacquelinemerritt]

Dragon Ball Z: Abridged Episode 41 Review

Originally posted March 12th, 2016

Small moments with the androids and heroes.

It’s tempting to say that nothing much happens in “The Trouble with Time Travel,” but that couldn’t actually be further from the truth. While the episode itself is fairly scattered, plotwise, it holds itself together using the same tool as the last episode, character motivation, but unlike “16, 17, and 18 Things I Hate About You,” instead of using character motivation to show the aftermath of a battle, it uses that motivation to give us many small scenes that expand our knowledge of the characters and their relationships.

The episode opens with the Androids, who provide the two funniest scenes in the episode. In their opening scene they nonchalantly steal a pink van from a pair of deliver drivers, and in this scene 17 and 18 play off each other like natural siblings, bickering with each other without ever taking things too far.

Simultaneously 16’s naiveté is played up, as he lifts the van to transport it and calls “shotgun” for a seat in the back, and in his next scene, where the Androids are stopped by the police, and his insistence on having “shotgun” leads to the officers attempting to threaten the trio. This is cut short, of course, when 18 decides to throw their police car into a mountain1, and she joins her brother in the joys of messing with the police.

The rest of the episode is devoted to our protagonists’ retrieval of Goku, with the exception of Chiaotzu, Tien, and Piccolo. Chiaotzu’s character admittedly isn’t developed much here, but he gets to cook pork ramen for a talking pig, so all is forgiven. Tien then arrives to pick up Chiaotzu and reaffirm his status as the only serious character in the show, and Piccolo has a grunting match with Kami, who apparently hasn’t fused with him yet for some reason, despite his insistence last episode that the earth was facing a very grave threat.

Our other protagonists actually get their first hint at this new threat when Bulma breaks the most awkward silence ever put to webseries with a fax of a mossy old time machine, and Trunks freaks out at not knowing how a time machine exactly like his own could be found in the middle of nowhere, opening his capsule inside a flying vehicle to prove his distress valid.

Rating: 4/5

If you enjoyed this review, consider supporting me on Patreon.

Stray Observations

1Actually, it looks more like a plateau.

“So Jones, how’s the wife and kids?” “Still dead, Chuck. Been four months.” “Oh. I am terrible at small talk.” “Yes. You are.”

Oolong: “I’m delicious…”

Krillin Owned: 31, because he was about to call Chi-Chi a bitch.

Gohan: “Where are we going?” Krillin: “Kame House.” Gohan: “Isn’t that literally the second place they’ll look?” Krillin: “Less lip, more ship!”

Tien: “I’m here for Chiaotzu. We need to train.” Chiaotzu: “But Tien! The doctor said if your shoulders get any bigger-“ Tien: “That’s why we don’t see him anymore.”

Nail: “Oh, just fuse already.”

Trunks: “How can you understand time travel?” Gohan: “I’ve been studying theoretical physics. Though I guess at this point it’s just physics.”

Krillin: “You don’t have country music in the future?” Sounds like an excellent future.

[porcelain-and-paper]

List of 2024

(constantly updated)

Books 📕📚📖

Julie de Lespinasse - Letters of Mlle. De Lespinasse

Agnieszka Szpila - Heksy

Jerzy Urban - Jajakobyły

Jerzy Jarniewicz - Makijaż

Movies🎥🎞🎬

The Age of Innocence [1993]

Human Traffic [1999]

Whiplash [2014]

The Northman [2022]

James Bond No time to die [2021]

The Neon Demon [2016]

Galaxy Quest [1999]

Vampire's kiss [1988]

Jurassic World Dominion [2022]

The Last Night in Soho [2021]

Corsage [2022]

Natural City [2003]

Nobody [2021]

Being John Malkovitch [1999]

The Hudsucker Proxy [1994]

Tick, tick... BOOM [2021]

Babylon [2022]

Grey Gardens [2009]

Lady Bird [2017]

Asteroid City [2023]

Pig [2021]

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent [2022]

Barton Fink [1991]

Sisu [2023]

Mandy [2018]

District 9 [2009]

Starship Troopers [1997]

Angel Heart [1987]

Scanners [1981]

Studio 54 [1998]

Things to Do in Denver when You're Dead [1995]

Fargo [1996]

Sicario [2015]

Godzilla Minus One [2023]

The Fly [1986]

Factotum [2005]

Story of O [1975]

Adaptation [2002]

Mermaids [1990]

Blade [1998]

Blade II [2002]

Blade: Trinity [2004]

The Royal Tenenbaum [2001]

The Diary of a Teenage Girl [2015]

Magnolia [1999]

Natural Born Killers [1994]

The Lighthouse [2019]

Pulp Fiction [1994]

Go [1999]

Reality Bites [1994]

9 songs [2004]

Interview with a Vampire [1994]

Egoiści (PL) [2000]

Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension [1984]

Heavenly Creatures [1994]

Singles [1992]

Wicker Park [2004]

Dune: Part Two [2024]

The Favourite [2018]

Under the Volcano [1984]

Phantom of the Paradise [1974]

In the mouth of madness [1994]

The Machinist [2004]

Prêt-à-Porter [1994]

Paris, Texas [1984]

Death Wish [1974]

Marnie [1964]

La Strada [1954]

Cover Girl [1944]

Kallafiorr (PL) [1999]

The Last Voyage of Demeter [2023]

The Gentlemen [2019]

The Menu [2022]

Lisbon Story [1994]

The Great Gatsby [1974]

Wyatt Earp [1994]

Gothic [1986]

Climax [2018]

Meg 2: The Trench [2023]

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom [2023]

Soaked in bleach [2015]

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire [2024]

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert [1994]

Pom Poko [1994]

Barbie [2023]

Legends of the Fall [1994]

Rimini [2022]

La femme publique [1984]

Ophelia [2018]

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead [1990]

Near Dark [1987]

Léon: the Professional [1994]

Boyhood [2014]

x [2022]

My Fair Lady [1964]

Blood Simple [1984]

La Reine Margot [1994]

Lisa Frankenstein [2024]

Quiz show [1994]

M for Murder [1954]

Nightcrawler [2014]

Don Juan DeMarco [1994]

Shallow Grave [1994]

5x2 [2004]

Summer of Blood [2014]

It Could Happen to You [1994]

Idiocracy [2006]

Banlieue 13 [2004]

This is Spinal Tap [1984]

Gospel According to Harry [1994]

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga [2024]

Garden State [2004]

Mean Girls [2004]

Eros [2004]

Zardoz [1974]

Little woman [1994]

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person [2023]

Anatomie d'une chute [2023]

Madame Web [2024]

Flash [2023]

Night of the comet [1984]

Repo Man [1984]

50 first dates [2004]

Along Came Polly [2004]

Altered states [1980]

The Lost Boys [1987]

Society [1989]

Outland [1981]

Club Zero [2023]

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire [2024]

Once Upon a Time in America [1984]

The Paper [1994]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer [1992]

Basquiat [1996]

Series 📺🖥💻

Archer season 14

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: Episode 7 The Viewing

Chernobyl

Rojst Millenium

3 body problem [Netflix]

The Gentleman

Ripley

Bridgertones season 3

The Boys season 4

Sausage Party: Foodtopia

The Umbrella Academy season 4

Kleo season 2 [ongoing]

Penguin [onoging]

Scents 🧯🫧🧴

BOUGHT

Robert Piquet Bandit

Etat Libre d'Orange Attaquer Le Soleil Marquis De Sade

Natural Blossom Moon Flower

USED UP

Pani Walewska

Elizabeth Arden Green Tea

Joe Malone Cologne

Joe Malone Earl Gray and Cucumber

The Library of the Fragrance Earl Gray

Current faves 💡🔥🌠

(no particular order)

brutalist, concrete architecture

Helmut Lang collections from 90s but for my everyday I choose Uniqlo and Muji

My all time favorite record is Silence is Sexy by Einstürzende Neubauten, however, honorable mention is reserved for Kruder & Dorfmeister DJ Kicks

Def some 90s nostalgia, as I was born in early 80s and I grew up then

I'm enjoying body horrors more than I wish to admit

incense perfumes

[theeverlastingshade]

SCARING THE HOES- JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown

With collaborative team-ups between pairs of idiosyncratic artists becoming more and more commonplace within the realm of hip-hop it only felt like a matter of time until we got the underground's answer (or perhaps, in this case, the terminally online response) to Future and Drake's 2015 LP, What a Time to Be Alive. And the case in question here is a far more natural, and intuitive pairing than Drake and Future. After years of well documented admiration and mutual respect for each other's craft, Houston based alternative hip-hop legend, Danny Brown, and Brooklyn based glitch-hop architect, JPEGMAFIA, finally teamed up for a collaborative LP, glibly titled SCARING THE HOES. On STH, blog rap's past and present collide on a deliriously dense LP that exudes a gleeful irreverence at every turn. While STH isn't likely to be considered the strongest work from either artist, it's a fascinating collaboration that generally plays to the strengths of each artist without succumbing to the usual pitfalls that plague big ticket collaborative records from established solo artists. STH scans as both a love letter to both hip-hop, and all the bizarre internet ephemera they've spent the last 2 decades of their lives wading through.

STH is a collaborative record through and through. The 14 songs were written and performed by Danny and JPEG (the only vocal feature comes courtesy of redveil), with the latter having produced the entire record. And the production is where STH really shines. JPEG has been one of the most promising producers in hip hop since the release of his flippant 2016 debut, Black Ben Carson, and his idiosyncratic approach, which blends noise, industrial, glitch, K-pop, and so much more, has only grown more distinct throughout his subsequent work. On STH, JPEG continues his chaotic compositional streak with ingenuity, and what scans like (however intentional) a desire to challenge Brown at every turn. The effect is like listening to audio from multiple internet tabs playing at once, with arrangements flying through the fray at irregular intervals that somehow seem to coalesce into sturdy structures that adhere to the duo's internal logic alone. Early highlight "Steppa Pig" barrels forward on the strength of a heavily distorted sample of NYSNC's "Gone" with the percussion practically collapsing in on itself, while late album breather "Kingdom Hearts Key" is oddly imbued with pockets of melody courtesy of tastefully employed samples of Maaya Sakamoto and the Detroit Emeralds. It's still remarkable to hear all the disparate elements that JPEG seamlessly strings together, and part of the fun is trying to place all the deep cuts, weird commercials, and late capitalist sonic detritus. While there's plenty to admire from the rapping, STH, when viewed strictly through the lens of a beat tape, is nothing short of a modern marvel.

While the rapping on STH isn't as uniformly excellent as the production, there's plenty to savor. The writing isn't anything that breaks new ground for either artist, but aside from the stock bar auto-pilot session of "Fentanyl Tester", the rapping throughout STH is as unconventional and engaging as we've come to expect from either artist, and it easily carries the spotty writing. JPEG isn't as imaginative nor as technically proficient as Brown, but he holds his own throughout STH. More importantly, JPEG's anarchistic outlook meshes superbly with Brown's irreverent sensibilities, allowing songs like "Orange Juice Jones" and "Lean Beef Patty" to feel like colorful exchanges from kindred spirits instead of the sort of half-baked, verse via email execution from artists who are simply after one another's demographic that's so commonplace today. The biggest issue with the vocals (and really, the record writ large) comes down to the way that JPEG mixed Brown's vocals. Brown's verses generally come through clear enough, but there are a few moments when his voice is nearly drowned out by the instrumentation. On songs like "Shut Yo Bitch Ass Up / Muddy Waters", the mixing shines as an inspired aesthetic choice as JPEG lathers the beat with thick slabs of distortion that accentuate the urgency in Brown's delivery. But on songs like the title track, Brown's voice strains for audibility over the horn bleats and visceral bass. This is hardly a major shortcoming, but a rapper as singular as Brown should never be veering on the cusp of obfuscation. Despite its missteps, STH is a strong collaboration that makes good on the undeniable chemistry and talent of its stars.

Essentials: "Shut Yo Bitch Ass Up / Muddy Waters", "Kingdom Hearts Key" ft. redveil, "Garbage Pale Kids"

[chaerincore]

╰┈➤ ❝ INTRODUCING . . . RAIN ! ❞

BORN ON MARCH 1, 1995 IN JAPAN AS HIRAI SORA, RAIN IS THE OLDEST MEMBER OF P NATION’S UPCOMING CO-ED GROUP: DISTRICT4 (D4), THE NEWEST ADDITION TO THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED “UNIVERSE-4” PROJECT. RAIN’S POSITIONS INCLUDE BEING THE OVERALL LEADER, D4’S LEAD FEMALE VOCALIST, THE LEAD DANCER, AND VISUAL.

RAIN BECAME A P NATION TRAINEE IN AUGUST 2020 AFTER PREVIOUSLY TRAINING UNDER STELLAR ENTERTAINMENT, CORE4’S ORIGINAL LABEL, FOR 6 YEARS. STELLAR ENTERTAINMENT HAD PLANS OF DEBUTING RAIN WITH CORE4’S MAKNAE LINE (EUNWOO & SAKURA) AS A VOCAL-BASED TRIO IN 2016, BUT WAS (MUCH LIKE THE ENTIRE PROJECT) PULLED AT THE LAST MINUTE DESPITE PROMISES OF DEBUTING. RAIN STAYED WITH THE COMPANY UNTIL APRIL 2020, WHICH WAS RIGHT BEFORE STELLAR ENTERTAINMENT WENT BANKRUPT AND LIFTED ALL DEBTS FOR ANY REMAINING TRAINEES. THE FALL OF STELLAR ENTERTAINMENT TOOK PLACE DURING THE PANDEMIC, WHEN CORE4 PUBLICLY SPOKE UP ABOUT COMPANY MISTREATMENT ON SEVERAL ACCOUNTS. THE CEO APOLOGIZED WHEN ALL FOUR MEMBERS THREATENED TO PRESS CHARGES, LATER ANNOUNCING THAT HE WOULD BE SHUTTING DOWN HIS COMPANY.

RAIN WAS BROUGHT TO P NATION AFTER BEING HIGHLY RECOMMENDED BY EUNWOO & SAKURA. SHE WAS ORIGINALLY INTENDED TO DEBUT AS A SOLOIST BEFORE BEING PARTNERED WITH D4’S MAKNAE, KAI, FOR A MONTHLY EVALUATION; THE EVALUATION FURTHER SOLIDIFIED THAT SHE WAS MEANT TO LEAD THE NEXT CO-ED QUARTET. RAIN IS ALSO A PAINTER, HER INTRODUCTORY VIDEO ON THE GROUP’S YOUTUBE CHANNEL IS HER SINGING WHILE PAINTING A BEAUTIFUL, HUGE SELF-PORTRAIT. SHE USES THE ARTS TO EXPRESS HER EMOTIONS IN DAILY LIFE.

IN UNIVERSE-4, RAIN IS ALSO A MEMBER OF THE FEMALE, & VOCAL UNITS — JUST A SMALL HANDFUL OF THE PROJECT GROUP’S MAIN SUBUNITS.

seongwoo, the youngest trainee (who would later be known as kai) had no clue who rain was until they were paired up for monthly evaluations. but rain, on the other hand, was told so much about the boy to know that he was an evaluation away from being put on the final lineup — and so was she.

but despite the age gaps, they spent so much time together and decided that if they would be debuting together in the future, they might as well befriend each other.

“noona, why are we getting tea after dance?” kai questioned as rain set down the milk tea he had shyly asked for just moments ago in front of him at the cafe booth. “because, silly, your vocal chords will thank you later… you should really work on your singing some more, you know? you’re so close to becoming better than eunwoo!” rain teased, a small laugh left her lips when the younger boy’s face went red, “in all honesty, i think you’re on the brink of having a very powerful voice… i’d be damned if you’re not the first pick.”

“you mean it?” “kai, i’ve always been honest with you.”

kai’s eyes sparkled with a glimmering hope, one that rain saw in herself when she looked in the mirror every night before bed. “you know… i’m glad i left YG, i’m not used to having so many people believe in me like this.” he shyly admitted, eyes darting to his phone that had just lit up with a text notification from who rain assumed to be his friend sunwoo, who she’d met a few weeks ago after he was picking up kai from rehearsals.

“does your boyfriend believe in you?” rain softly asked, nodding towards the boy who held kai on his lock-screen as she took a sip of her hot tea, grabbing kai’s attention from her use of the word ‘boyfriend.’ who (in the photo) was sunwoo from sapphire (@sopphre).

“i… i mean he’s just—”

“—just a friend? yeah right, and do pigs fly?” rain sarcastically asked in a playfully tone, reaching across the table to gently lift kai’s chin that was lowered to look down at his hands back up with her index finger. “kai, i’m not gonna shame you for loving someone of the same gender, okay? i think you two are quite adorable together, your eyes light up whenever he takes you home from practice, i’m not a fool… and if this is the boy from sapphire, i feel in my gut that he’s been on your side since the beginning.” rain told the younger boy, slightly scolding him for thinking she wouldn’t be supportive of him.

and later that day, rain got an exciting phone call from kai that he’d not just been added to the lineup — but also that he thinks she’s next.

@skzfairies @m00niesk7

[freifraufischer]

An interesting sports/politics observation:  

I’ve been following the dumpster fire at USAG for quite some time now and became deeply interested in following the sport of gymnastics in more than a 4 year fan way around the time that the Larry Nassar scandal broke.  

The post mortem on the US women’s gymnastics team results in Tokyo was honestly starting around Olympic trials in June.  The US women have never traveled much internationally for decades so they compete less than other international gymnasts.  The argument has been that the travel takes away from valuable training time.  What was little became none because of COVID and the bankruptcy filing of USAG to deal with the lawsuits arising from the abuse scandal.  

It was known that the US women were also being domestically over scored by judges at home.  Domestic overscoring is not unique to the US but most countries that have it also complete internationally so their athletes have a real sense of how international judges will evaluate their routines.  There have been alarm bells for at least three years that the US women were not going to get credit for elements and face deductions in international competition that they weren’t facing at home.  Just this year one of them was literally used in a pictorial example of a international judging document for something that should be deducted--the fact that current athletes are used this way is a whole other horrible kettle of fish.  I should add that the discovery that routines that were being scored highly in the US would fail at the olympics isn’t even new.  Famously the reigning world champion missed out on the all around final at the 2012 games because she wasn’t given credit for connections and series that were overlooked at home.

Now the job of bringing domestic meet scoring into line is on the national team staff and the job of advising and strategizing is that of the “High Performance Director” for the women’s program.  This is the job that was held (under the title National Team Coordinator) by Martha Karolyi with an iron fist before 2016.  She was replaced (after fits and starts) by a man named Tom Forrester.  Forrester’s defining qualities for the job have been that he is nice.  Literally the bar was that low.  He has demonstrated a rather alarming lack of knowledge about what international judges deduct for (after Junior World Championships he expressed surprise that they deducted for dance elements--something that happened again in Tokyo to US gymnasts), did not understand the Olympic selection criteria for individuals, and appeared to have a very very faulty understanding of the rights of athletes with an ongoing abuse complaint (more on that later).

He was relatively removed from the culture of high level elite coaching for the last few decades and the athletes considered him nice.  The last time he had been deeply involved in senior US gymnastics politics was the mid 1990s when several of his gymnasts were passed over for the 1996 Olympic Team because injured athletes were petitioned on to the team over those that competed at trials.  Mind you this was a time when the Olympic team had 7 members and the people petitioned on were the 1992 Olympic Silver Medalist Shannon Miller and 1995 National Champion Dominique Moceanu.  It would have been literally insane not to have them on the Olympic team.  But it has become apparent that Tom Forrester felt a great injustice was done to his athletes and the the worst part of US gymnastics team management was that Martha Karolyi picked favorites.  

This year he denied the petition of a former world champion to Olympic trials (she likely wouldn’t have made the team but her exclusion is... questionable) and after the fact justified it by saying she had failed to meet a criteria for the petition that he never told her existed.  At trials the team was chosen (by a committee that he had essentially full control over) took the top all around finishers in order of how they did at trials (as he would have liked them to have done in 1996).  This was in willful defiance that the format of the olympics now demands not all arounders but strategic use of team building for the best score possible.  The US did not bring the highest potential scoring team to the olympics because of one man’s wounded pride from 25 years ago.

And before you might be tempted to tell yourself he did this because he wanted to support the athletes let me tell you about the fact that he allowed a coach that was under investigation for abuse to come to a camp where one of the athletes that had filed the complaint against her was also in attendance.  His wife, who has a history of unhinged social media rants, claimed he didn’t have the authority to send home an athletes chosen coach.  In reality Louie Hernandez had the legal right not to have to be there with her.  That coach would later be banned for longer than anyone else has ever been banned in USAG history.

So in June anyone following the details of this knew that Tom’s strategy was entirely “we have Simone and so we will win.”  Because that kind of pressure and stress couldn’t possibly have any terrible consequences on an athlete.  Spoiler:  It did.  

People within the sport were warning about this before Simone Biles lost herself in the air during that vault in Tokyo.  The fact that we were all lucky not to watch one of the greatest athletes of a generation break her neck can not be overstated.  It was so scary that one of the most famously bitter angry and terrible human beings of Gymnastics that has been saying awful things about Biles for years kept telling Russian media that she made the right decision to pull out.  That was pigs flying territory.

Forrester left the athletes to face the press alone after the final.

So with that backdrop I want to give this observation:  Dominque Moceanu, an olympic gold medalist who has an abuse story so horrific with villains so cartonishly evil that if it was written as fiction the author would be told it was over the top, wrote a book about the culture of abuse in in the sport and USAG in 2008.  She was called insane, living on another planet, and apparently sent hundreds of emails by those within the sport that she was ungrateful for what her abusers had done for her (emails that she has apparently kept and I’m telling you I’d love to read more then the few I’ve seen).  Moceanu was a figure out of greek legend, Cassandra doomed to tell the truth and be called mad (and attention seeking).  In light of the fall of the Karolyis and the Nassar scandal Moceanu has become a more respected figure as someone that has been speaking out about abuse for a long time.  She has also been someone that other victims went to over the decades to talk to before they could come forward.  A weight that no one should have to bear.  

I had been joking that the only way people would start to trust USAG was honestly trying to reform was if they put someone like Moceanu in charge (Aly Raisman’s name is floated but even she points out that she’s not qualified).  Moceanu is.  But the old guard of the sport have spent two decades telling people that Moceanu is crazy.  I didn’t think she’d take the job and I didn’t think USAG would ever hire her.

But here is the interesting thing .... her social media presence radically changed character in the last three months.  Starting around the time of US Nationals and continuing though trials and the olympics between posts supporting team USA athletes and raising a voice to support Simone Biles and the need for a cultural change in the sport were digs at Tom Forrester and about the need for transparency in that job.  

And this:  “Would someone be kind enough to notify me if the U.S. women’s high performance coordinator position opens up? Asking for a friend.”  (x)  At the same time (literally the same day as one of those tweets) she launched a youtube channel that is essentially a political fluff piece about her as a change agent in gymnastics coaching.

She’s auditioning for that job.

There are a bunch of other interesting elements of her online behavior and some other telling notes about things she’s said ... but it’s interesting to notice something like that unfold.

[almightyhamslice]

Team Smithereen generation 2! Set in 2016, a while after the events of the 2013 pilot film (whatever happened in that, anyways...), Stunt Pig hired 3 new puppets to take on the role of the new Team Smithereen!

Guila is the youngest (8 y/o), and regarded by fans as the cutest. She seems to retain some of the spirit from her g1 predecessors, but is noticeably more violent and prone to sabotaging the others. I'm sure she has a conscience, but she definitely does not listen to it most of the time.

Dolly (11 y/o) is cool-headed and quiet, very laid back. She is the strongest of the team, but doesn't like to brag about it. She's a bit clumsy due to her 'hair' getting in her eyes, as well as her flipper feet (which are so unusual she can't even wear the uniform shoes), but she's very graceful underwater. As such, she is thoroughly waterproofed.

Aloysius (11 y/o) is the complete opposite of Dolly. Loud and boisterous, Alo loves being the center of attention and often competes with Dolly for the distinction of 'team leader' (little do they know, Stunt Pig already has it by default at this point). He can be irritating, but he's mostly just like this because he hates being ignored. He is able to fly quite well, but often has to have his wings folded back so he doesn't make things 'unfair' during competitive stunts.

in the final episode of gen 2, Stunt Pig set up a gauntlet that the 3 teammates would have to go through. It had fire, swinging axes, giant hammers, you name it. The only problem was, at the climax of the episode the entire course started falling apart due to a few parts Guila damaged coming loose when Alo went through the course. His wings folded so he wouldn't 'cheat', Alo was quickly trapped under the rubble, and Dolly became stuck herself, trying to dig him out of it. 

 Though they survived, Dolly and Alo sustained permanent injuries from this incident, and both kids' parents sued Stunt Pig, canceling the show after it'd just gotten started again. After a long while, they ultimately settled out of court. I think they're very bitter about this whole thing, and though Guila doesn't keep in contact with either of her former co-stars, she feels awfully guilty.

hope u like them, im incredibly tired

[playing-stories]

Why Playing Inside Made Me Hate Myself

There’s a level in Inside (Playdead, 2016) that sees the player-character, a nameless young boy, sprint from cover to cover as supersonic booms blast at timed intervals. I discovered pretty quickly that being caught out in the open during one of these blasts kills the boy in a horrifying explosion. His dismembered limbs go flying towards the camera before the game cuts and asks the player to try again and again. 

Even thinking about this level inspires a visceral horror in me. It took me so many attempts to finally get it right. Not only that, but this level was what made me understand what made Inside such a disturbing game - it made me loathe myself. But why self-loathing? Seeing a young helpless boy struggle through a brutal and hostile environment and seeing him die over and over is upsetting but why do I hate myself in particular? 

Perhaps in all these bad feelings I directed some of them towards myself. Do I hate myself for making me see these horrible things so many times? Maybe I feel betrayed in some way because I’ve exposed myself to something sickeningly sad and violent. 

No. There’s definitely more to it than that.

The level with the sonic booms is an excellent example of why Inside makes me hate myself for two reasons: 1) It’s deeply impersonal and 2) I’m really bad at it. Let’s address these both in turn.

It’s Deeply Impersonal 

The sonic boom level comes at mid-late point in the game. At this point, I have played enough of Inside to understand the situation at hand. I am playing as a young boy and my goal is to enter a mysterious facility. What I am running away from or towards is unknown. I have so far seen piles of dead pigs, security systems that kill trespassers, and limp men who can be controlled by whoever is wearing a special helmet. These men are being paraded in front of others; some stoic bourgeoisie types.

Notice that in my description of the game, I heavily focused on the environment of the game. The mindless slaves, the pigs, and the security systems were things that I, through the player-character, experienced but none of these were put there for me specifically. I didn’t cause any of this, and I will not be able to stop any of it. 

Then I come to the level with sonic booms. There is some sort of experimentation going on in this facility, that’s for sure. These booms are just a part of this. Everything is so big around me and I am so, so tiny. I am inconsequential here, dwarfed and alienated by my surroundings. The booms are procedural. They are not targeted. They do not care for young human boys. They are not malicious, they are completely apathetic. 

I must contend with the only human agency being present in this scene being my own. Now, in single-player videogames the player is always the only human agent, but in other games an illusion is built that NPCs have feelings, that can harbour ill will towards you, or that they can actively desire the player-character to save them. Taking all this away means that I am forced to reckon with my own complicity in killing this small scared child. Other levels that have the player chased by a pack of furious dogs or smothered to death by a mermaid at least had something that I could shift the blame onto when it killed me. In this level though, the sonic boom level, all I had was myself and the knowledge that I put the boy in this lethal situation

Tobi Smethurst, a games academic, also found this in Playdead’s other game, Limbo (2010), which has another young boy protagonist. Smethurst underlines how the levels in Limbo grew to also feature this alienation between player and environment more and more as the game progressed. Smethurst similarly points to how these games are so affective because they force the player into a place of complicity. Smethurst points out in their paper ‘Playing Dead in Videogames: Trauma in Limbo’ (2015) that in Limbo rag-doll physics mean that all of the young boy’s deaths are visually different. Becoming de-sensitised to the gruesome deaths therefore becomes more difficult. Failing one level may mean the boy falls in a way that bends his neck at an unnatural angle. Failing again may mean that this time he flops onto his front. The player must reckon with the reality that is their agency that caused a young boy’s death. I have not added a picture of a death in Limbo and I only advise looking one up with a hefty content warning.

While I found playing Limbo deeply upsetting, it did still give me a purpose to cling to. I knew from the very first level that I was looking for my lost sister. A little girl needs me is what I told myself. I clung to the fiction that I needed to rescue her. Without it then how was I supposed to face the fact the the person killing this little boy was me? Nothing was chasing me at the start of the game, nothing was out to get me. It was me, me who had walked the boy into a environment that was totally unsuitable and deadly. Inside takes the sister away. There is something at the end of the boys journey, but the player does not know this until late in the game. Whether or not the thing at the end is a good thing is also another question entirely. As I exposed the boy to killer explosions, attempted to make him jump between tall buildings, and led him deeper into the hostile facility I hated myself. I was doing this cruel horrible thing to him. All me.

I’m Really Bad At It

Which leads me on to my own lack of skill. I’m not a great gamer by any means. I love playing, but key tenets of game mechanics like pressing buttons or keeping to rhythms are things I struggle with as a . In Smethurst’s paper, an important point is made. It’s that even though Limbo makes it near impossible to complete every puzzle on the first try, it is not impossible. Both Limbo and Inside are trial and error games. In Limbo some puzzles purposely subvert behaviours that it just taught players moments ago. Nonetheless, even though it is very hard to achieve a no deaths run in either game the slither of possibility means that each death weighs on me even more.

I could have gotten the boy past the explosions this time. If it only weren’t for my lack of skill. If I were only more careful. Why am I so bad at this? I keep killing this kid. I’m going to see him die again and its my fault.

Inside not only highlights my agency in playing and failing at the game, but Inside has been actively made to be like the game environment itself. Brutal. Uncaring. Apathetic. Even though the game is hard, I cannot blame it for killing the boy without also blaming myself to a certain degree. And so I hate myself. The game has convinced me to hate myself while I’m playing. 

Killing Little Boys in Videogames

Before I end this piece I’d like to address one more videogame boy that I’ve killed. What Remains of Edith Finch (Giant Sparrow, 2017) is about the curse of the Finch family and it shows the player through a series of vignettes details of how each Finch family member died.

Calvin is just a child when he dies. He’s ambitious. He wants to swing his tree swing all the way around the branch. He swings, ignoring calls from his mother to come in for supper and goes higher and higher. The tree branch creaks and wind whistles by his ears and he’s almost made it. Then he loses control, and the player watches from Calvin’s perspective in horror as the boy flies over his garden to his untimely death.

Pretty sad cutscene, right?

Except it isn’t a cutscene. It very well could have been a cutscene. The game creators, however, elected to have the player make Calvin swing. The player is tasked with pressing two buttons in time to make Calvin slowly pick up momentum. The player knows where this is going and that this is dangerous. Yet if they want to continue playing they must kill Calvin. Again, the player is complicit in Calvin’s death with each button push leading Calvin closer to losing control of the swing.  

For a game that is thematically interested in facing trauma in order to process it, this is a perfect encapsulation of game mechanic echoing game story. By making the player a part of this scene, making their engagement essential, Edith Finch makes its players similarly face something that is uncomfortable and upsetting. Because they are active in Calvin’s death, the players are unable to stop looking at the screen, close their eyes, glaze over, or  reject what they are seeing in any other way. Sure, the controls are easy, but they still importantly require a level of effort from the player. The player can shift blame in this scenario. Unlike Inside or Limbo, survival is not an option for Calvin and so the player can easily argue that it isn’t their fault. This time, however, Calvin’s death being anyone’s fault is not the point. The engagement with the trauma of his death is what this scene is most interested in.

I would like to discuss how all of these characters being little boys might also be a contributing factor in why these games make me hate myself. I feel it would risk being too tangential so I’ll merely include a question: How do these little boys affect me simply by being little boys? For now, I will go and wallow a little more in the self-loathing that Inside has managed to make me feel.

Sources Cited:

Tobi Smethurst, ‘Playing Dead in Videogames: Trauma in Limbo’, The Journal of Popular Culture (2015).

[sneakend]

Hyvää joulua, @lily-learns-finnish !!! ♡ I was your secret santa for @langblrsecretsanta this year. I got a bit carried away and made you more than one gift, hope you don’t mind. Here’s the first one, it’s a movie rec list of Finnish movies, most of which I have actually seen (I admit I don’t watch a ton of Finnish stuff despite living in Finland). Perhaps you’ve seen some of these but I think watching movies in one’s target language is always good practice since the language in them is much closer to actual spoken language than what you see in text books or literature. Don’t know how easy it’d be to find these movies online but if you’re in Finland I’m sure most libraries have at least some of them.

comedy/drama

Napapiirin sankarit (Lapland Odyssey) (2010) (x)

“After a man called Janne living in Lapland in Northern Finland fails to acquire a digital television adapter for his wife from the local utility store due to not reaching it before closure time, he sets out with his two friends in the middle of the night to get one by any means necessary. He sets up a late rendezvous with his father-in-law who owns an electronics store in Rovaniemi, several hundred kilometers away. Nothing is naturally ever simple and along the way, the trio end up having several comedic misadventures”

Korkein oikeus (Inner Trial) (2008) (x)

“Noa is a young slacker who prefers to spend his days smoking weed. Together with his friends, he meets an old hippie, who is interested in rekindling his past passion of psychedelic trips and mind expansion.”

Menolippu Mombasaan (One-Way Ticket to Mombasa) (2002) (x)

“A cancer patient meets a new friend at the hospital, and together they escape on the adveture of their lives.”

Hevi reissu (Heavy Trip) (2018) (x)

“In this offbeat comedy from Finland, Turo is stuck in a small village where the best thing in his life is being the lead vocalist for the amateur metal band Impaled Rektum. The only problem? He and his bandmates have practiced for 12 years without playing a single gig. The guys get a surprise visitor from Norway--the promoter for a huge heavy metal music festival--and decide it's now or never. They steal a van, a corpse, and even a new drummer in order to make their dreams a reality.”

Pitkä kuuma kesä (A Long Hot Summer) (1999) (x)

“The story of a rock band "Kalle Päätalo" in the 1980s.”

Helmiä ja sikoja (Pearls and Pigs) (2003) (x)

“When their bootlegging father ends up in jail, four twenty-something brothers need money to pay his debts to local crooks. Next, their 9-year-old half-sister is dumped on their doorstep by her prostitute mother. A karaoke set helps reveal that the little girl is quite a singer, just as a talent contest for children is coming up on national television offering more than enough money to the winner. If only the kid weren't so hopelessly shy...”

International

Tom of Finland (2017) (x)

“Award-winning filmmaker Dome Karukoski brings to screen the life and work of artist Touko Valio Laaksonen (aka Tom of Finland), one of the most influential and celebrated figures of twentieth century gay culture.”

Iron Sky (2012) (x)

“The Nazis set up a secret base on the dark side of the moon in 1945 where they hide out and plan to return to power in 2018.”

Jadesoturi (Jade Warrior) (2006) (x)

“Jade Warrior (Finnish: Jadesoturi, Chinese: 玉战士; pinyin: Yù zhànshì) is a Finnish-Chinese co-produced movie. It combines elements of the wuxia genre with Finnish Kalevala mythology.”

Ruokala Lokki (Kamome Diner) (2006) (x)

“Where are we welcome? On a quiet street in Helsinki, Sachie has opened a diner featuring rice balls. For a month she has no customers. Then, in short order, she has her first customer, meets Midori, a gangly Japanese tourist, and invites her to stay with her, and meets Masako, a formal and ethereal middle-aged woman whose luggage has gone missing. The three women work in the diner, interact, and serve customers. A somewhat brusque man teaches Sachie to make delicious coffee, then he returns under other circumstances. Three neighborhood women inspect the empty diner every day; will anything bring them inside? We learn why Sachie serves rice balls; but why Finland?”

horror

Sauna (2008) (x)

“As a 25-year war between Russia and Sweden concludes, two brothers who are part of an effort to outline new border accords become undone by their actions, and their mistreatment of a young woman during their journey.”

Rare Exports (2010) (x)

“In the depths of the Korvatunturi mountains, 486 meters deep, lies the closest ever guarded secret of Christmas. The time has come to dig it up. This Christmas everyone will believe in Santa Claus.”

Lake Bodom (2016) (x)

“Every camper's worst nightmare came true at Lake Bodom in 1960 when four teenagers were stabbed to death while sleeping in their tent.”

Kyrsyä - Tuftland (2017) (x)

“A headstrong textile student tries to overcome her problems by accepting a summer job offer from an isolated and offbeat village of Kyrsyä.”’

scifi

Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning (2005) (x)

“A dark science fiction comedy about domination of the world and the universe, and a parody of the Star Trek and Babylon 5 franchises.”

war

Tuntematon sotilas (The Unknown Soldier) (1955) (x) / (1985) (x) / (2017) (x)

“The tale of a platoon of soldiers during the Continuation War. Based on Väinö Linna's book of the same name.”

Äideistä parhain (Mother of Mine) (2005) (x)

“During World War II, more than 70,000 Finnish children were evacuated to neutral Sweden to avoid the conflict. "Mother of Mine" tackles that painful patch of history in a tale of 9-year-old Eero, a child who increasingly feels abandoned by his biological Finnish mother and yet not attached to his Swedish surrogate mom. When he is returned to Finland, his confusion intensifies.”

Käsky (Tears of April) (2008) (x)

“The film is set in the final stages of the Finnish Civil War. The film tells a story of a captured female Red Guard fighter, Miina, and the soldier Aaro who escorts her to her trial.”

Raja 1918 (The Border) (2007) (x)

“Set in the spring of 1918, right after the Finnish Civil War, the film is about a Finnish officer who is sent to the village of Rajajoki to form a border between Finland and Soviet Russia.”

Rukajärven tie (Ambush) (1999) (x)

“Set during the World War 2. In the summer of 1941 the Finnish army crosses the border of Russia. A platoon led by Lt. Eero Perkola goes through the wilderness around the Lieksa lake to search for Russian defensive positions. The platoon kills some Russian civilians and rests in a newly conquered village. There Lt. Perkola meets his fiancée Kaarina, who is serving in the Women's Auxilary Corps (Lotta). Then the platoon continues with the mission, but a message about Kaarina's possible death reaches Lt. Perkola. The message causes Perkola to become distracted during the mission.”

children

Muumipeikko ja pyrstötähti (Comet in Moominland) (1992) (x)

“Moomin, Sniff and My set out to stop a comet approaching the Moomin valley. Along the way they meet Snusmumriken, the beautiful Snorkfröken, Snorken and a Hemul, who join them in their quest.”

Joulupukki ja noitarumpu (Santa Claus and the Magic Drum) (1996) (x)

“Strange accidents start to happen in Santa's village when he receives a mysterious letter.”

Rölli ja metsänhenki (Rollo and the Woods Sprite) (2001) (x)

“Hairy and rowdy trolls called rolleys sail to a land inhabited by more peace-loving elves. When the rolleys arrive to the elf village, they scare the elves away and settle down in the village. One of the elves, Milli, a brave elf girl, returns to the village to make a peace with the rolleys. The rolleys do not warm to Milli's peace proposal, but she becomes friends with a rolley called Rölli. It becomes their mission to solve the conflict between the elves and the rolleys.”

Niko - lentäjän poika (The Flight Before Christmas) (2008) (x)

“A young reindeer who suffers from vertigo learns to overcome his fear, takes flying lessons from a clumsy flying squirrel and heads to the North pole to save a troubled Santa and his fleet of flying reindeer.”

[eamonwhalen]

Rap I Liked 2020

An attempt at an omnivorous list of rap songs from the year 2020 that undoubtedly missed many good songs. 

In a Spotify Playlist

In an Apple Music Playlist

If you’d like to read what I wrote this year click here. 

1. Quelle Chris and Chris Keys featuring Earl Sweatshirt, Denmark Vesey, Merill Garbus and Big Sen - Mirage

2.   Mozzy featuring Blxst - I Ain’t Perfect

3. Jay Electronica featuring Jay-Z - A.P.I.D.T.A

Sleep well Lately, I haven't been sleepin' well I even hit the beach to soak my feet and skip some seashells Sleep well The lump inside my throat sometimes it towers like the Eiffel Sometimes I wonder do the trees get sad when they see leaves fell Sleep well The last time that I kissed you, you felt cold but you looked peaceful I read our message thread when I get low and need a refill Sleep well

4. Shabazz Palaces - Fast Learner

5. G-Herbo featuring Juice WRLD, Chance The Rapper and Lil Uzi Vert - PTSD

“People judge people from my city, or people who go through what we go through. It’s just the way you’re brought up and different situations that you experience that change your life and make you who you are. There’s a lot of people who would come to my city and not make it. There’s certain survival skills that you learn in Chicago from just naturally adapting to your environment. People judge us and outcast us from what they see on the outside but they really don’t know what’s going on on the inside. We’re making rational decisions because what we go through forces us to make those decisions. Just the older I get, the more serious I look at it. When I was younger I had my family taking care of me, and I was just living life like a kid. But by 14-15, there’s a lot of kids in my city who are living the lives of adults at that age. Other places people don’t live like that. When I was 16 I started to see people die around me. In my city theres so little to depend on, so people take other options to survive and make a way for themselves. At a young age you start learning this,” - G-Herbo, from an interview I did with him a few years ago. 

6. 21 Savage and Metro Boomin’ featuring Young Thug - Rich N***a Shit

the sounds of luxury

7. Sada Baby - Slide

8. Megan Thee Stallion - Circles

https://youtu.be/TwZl9WCHjnc

9. Polo G - Martin & Gina

10. Gunna - Skybox

11. Pop Smoke - Yea Yea

Rest in Peace Pop Smoke

https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/pop-smoke-dior-protest-music/

12. Bfb Da Packman featuring Sada Baby - Free Joe Exotic

13. NBA Youngboy - The Story of OJ (Top Version)

14. Bris - Me Important

Rest In Peace Tricky Dance Moves

15. Playboi Carti - @ MEH

16. Navy Blue featuring Ka - In Good Hands

“Even friends in a frenzy became ravenous

Brothers named universal, wise, supreme became savages

It's said the common thread with our enemies

Is we was all men in need with no amenities

Couldn't sit in peace, we each hit the streets for remedies

Through the hatred accumulate a hundred arms we was centipedes

The stress of empty pantries kept us antsy

No lie, essentials essentially in a shanty

Could give scripture but that big picture is what you can't see

Every grain I spelt is what helped enhance me

Went from gun waving to saving lives

I give sight to the blind just for the 85

That's what I was in the line of scrimmage

Lost some folks of course, that growth redefined percentage

Doomed in the womb, surprised I ain't see a hanger

Start questioning affection when all you see is anger,

But now I’m in good hands, surrounded by good women, good babies, good mans,”

-Ka

17. Lil Uzi Vert - Chrome Heart Tags

18. SahBabii - Double Dick

19. Rezcoast Grizz - Water

20. Future featuring Drake, Da Baby and Lil Baby - Life Is Good Remix

21. Drakeo The Ruler featuring Icewear Vezzo and ALLBLACK - We Know The Truth

The Ruler’s home. Read Jeff Weiss on Drakeo’s trial and release, and the book Rap On Trial for an underreported and understudied phenomenon. 

22. Future and Lil Uzi Vert - That’s It 

23. Shordie Shordie - Save A Little

coolest new voice in Rap

24. Busta Rhymes featuring Kendrick Lamar - Look Over Your Shoulder

25. Cam & China - Know What I’m Saying

https://youtu.be/H1JSWy9lxuk

26. Ovrkast featuring Navy Blue - Face

27. J Hus featuring icee tgm - Helicopter

Shaitan in police uniform Feds in a helicopter I seen pigs fly but I never seen a unicorn Tryna find cover on somebody's front lawn I see an undercover and he had his gun drawn Didn't like me 'cause I'll never conform Man want beef, but they'll never come forth Like CB, all I need is one corn You see me alone but I got a strong force No man can ever put my life on pause They enslaved my ancestor, no remorse I bring knowledge to Europe, just like the Moors The knowledge, they need it, they cravin' for more Left the yard before the jakes kicked in the door Have you seen a lengman drop his stick on the floor? Say you wanna bang, you don't look like you're sure

28. Demahjiae featuring Mejiwahn, Michael Sneed and Pink Siifu - Wild & Fireflies

29. Lil Baby featuring 42 Dugg - We Paid

No choice but to respect someone who is not only still rockin’ with the Detroit Lions in 2020 but says so much on the biggest song of his career thus far. 

30. Ka - Patron Saints

31. Benny The Butcher - Famous

32. Key! - Spend One Night

33. Smino featuring JID and Kenny Beats - Baguetti

34. Open Mike Eagle - Death Parade 

35. OMB Peezy - Sleep At Night

36. Mick Jenkins - “Carefree”

read me on Mick Jenkins circa 2016.

37. Chris Brown and Young Thug featuring Lil Duke and Gunna - Big Slimes

38. Freddie Gibbs and Alchemist - God Is Perfect

39. Chester Watson - Life Wrote Itself

40. Denzel Curry and Kenny Beats - DIET

read me on Denzel Curry circa 2015

41. Young Dolph - Hold Up Hold Up Hold Up

Still probably the coolest thing any rapper has done in years. 

42. Dua Saleh - Hellbound

43. Rod Wave - Fuck The World

44. Young Nudy - Deeper Than Rap

45. Bobby Raps - Believe The Lie

Alex Howard, more like Alex Garland!

46. Saba - So and So

47. 2 Chainz featuring TyDollaSign - Can’t Go For That

https://youtu.be/ccenFp_3kq8

48. Blu and Exile - The Feeling

49. astralblak - Out In The Woods

50. Key Glock - Word On the Streets

51. Black Thought featuring Portugal. The Man & The Last Artful, Dodgr - Nature of the Beast

I feel like Phillip Seymour Hoffman, less Denzel Washington When people are watching me If the right amount of likes and follows can make me less hollow I'd somehow be more complete But people tend to be more toxic so we see more gossip And there's tension on the streets

52. Flo Milli - Not Friendly

53. Shootergang Kony - Still Kony 2

54. Homeboy Sandman - Trauma

55. Kevin Gates - Weeks

56. Pink Siifu and Fly Anakin - Open Up Shop

57. P Will aka Prince Williams - Survival 

58. Cupcakke - Discounts

59. Nas - Ultra Black

60. Spillage Village - End Of Daze

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/04/magazine/societal-collapse.html

What I listened to most besides songs by artists on this list:

Jazmine Sullivan’s live performances of Lost One and Pick Up Your Feelings

Other stuff that doesn’t really belong on a Rap list:

Liv.e, Brent Faiyaz, Helado Negro, Slauson Malone, Chronixx, Contour, King Krule, Kehlani, Moses Sumney, Thundercat, Soccer Mommy. 

Best books I read that were published in 2020: The Jakarta Method by Vincent Bevins and I Got A Monster by Brandon Soderberg and Baynard Woods

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #464

Top Ten Feelgood Moments in Movies

Serendipity’s a funny thing, isn’t it? I’ve been planning to make this week about feelgood films since, oooh, late November maybe. I mean, we’ve had enough misery since 2016 to last us an entire Middle-Earth Extended Edition boxset. We need our Pelennor Fields moments wherever we can get them, and Joe Biden being sworn in as President is a good a moment as any right now. So anyway, that was the plan, and then along comes good old Empire magazine with a month dedicated to top cinema moments. They’re not all feelgood, to be fair – there’s the chestburster scene from Alien for a kick-off – but it’s one of those instances of curious synchronicity. What I’m saying is, I didn’t rip them off, okay? This was percolating since the Tangerine Nightmare lost Georgia.

Anyway: feelgood.

This was surprisingly hard, because the moments that I cherish aren’t always feelgood. Even in Lord of the Rings, even in the Pelennor Fields, the whole Ride of the Rohirrim stuff is laced with tragedy. The best bits of those films – “Fly, you fools!”, “For Frodo,” “I can’t carry it but I can carry you,” “Go away and don’t come back” – they’re all melancholy, aren’t they? It’s a saga about people being heroic under duress, and in those cases quite often people don’t make it back all in one piece. Think about Pixar, what are the great moments? “Thanks for the adventure, “So long partner,” “Take her to the moon for me” – they’re all about loss. Or rather, new joy from loss, hope from despair, that kind of thing. They’re terrific, they always make me cry, but they’re not exactly feelgood if you know what I mean.

So here we are. Moments of utter joy, that’s what I’m after. Heart soaring, tears pouring, euphoric moments of extreme happiness. I’ve tried for the most part to avoid joyous moments of excess: there’s one explosion and one bit where a dude gets stabbed in the face, but for the most part I’ve eschewed “feelgood violence” for want of a better word. These are scenes that are supposed to make you smile.

And y’know what? We could all do with smiling more in this day and age.

Good luck, Joe and Kamala. Do a good job. Take us to the moon.

(P.S. spoiler alert for, well, pretty much every film in the list)

“Happy birthday, Aunt Lucy.” (Paddington 2, 2017): after ninety minutes of watching Paddington bring out the best in everybody just by existing, we all feel he deserves a happy ending. And everyone pulls together and gets it for him. Everyone he’s helped, everyone whose life he touched, they’re all there, leading Paddington – and us – to the door. As an adult, you know what’s coming; kids are less sure. But it’s a joyous moment of nothing but true happiness. Two CGI characters hug with such sincerity you can feel the warmth from the screen, and then comes those last words – quiet, whispered, almost thrown away. It’s perfect.

“When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” (When Harry Met Sally, 1989): romcom endings are very hard. You’ve navigated a couple’s relationship, generally speaking you’ve split them up in act three, and now they need to get back together in a big, extravagant way, that undoes the plot machinations that separated them. No one does it as well as Harry here, delivering a soliloquy on what it means to be in love, loving a person’s quirks and foibles and how they occupy your mind, ending with that superb line. Sally says it best: when he says stuff like that, he makes it impossible for us to hate him.

“On your left.” (Avengers: Endgame, 2019): Captain America stands alone, battered and beaten, his unbreakable shield broken. The vast armies of Thanos stand before him. He faces certain death, and the probable destruction of everything. He grits his teeth, tightens his shield straps, and then… Sam Wilson’s voice, delivering a line from several films ago, a moment of levity and shared continuity. His friends arrive, slowly at first; Black Panther, the Guardians, Spider-Man. Legions from across the cosmos. “Is that everyone?” asks Doctor Strange. “You wanted more?!” replies Wong. And then giant Ant-Man bursts through a building, with Hulk and co. An army of good from across the galaxy to face the forces of evil. Cap calls forth Mjolnir (and that moment was so nearly my choice), and then… “Avengers… assemble.”

“That’ll do, pig.” (Babe, 1995): Babe is one of those films that’s mostly joy: feelgood throughout, really, despite moments of drama or sadness. But after some nail-biting scenes as Farmer Hoggett and his piggy bud do their sheepdog act, we have a moment of angsty silence before the crowd goes ballistic, cheers everywhere, women crying, top marks. And then very softly, oh-so-tenderly, Hoggett’s great catchphrase. It’ll do. It’ll always do.

“Indiana… let it go.” (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 1989): a film built on witty repartee and full-throated spectacle, Crusade lingers in the memory due to the subtle character work between father and son. They mend their fractured relationship over the course of the movie, but it’s really symbolised when Henry saves “Junior” at the expense of rescuing the Grail, calling Indiana by his chosen name for the first time in the film. It’s a great character beat, and is followed shortly afterwards by the protagonists literally riding off into the sunset.

“I am no man!” (The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, 2003): as I alluded to above, the Rings trilogy is full of incredible moments of awe, pathos, tragic heroism, and bittersweet joy. But arguably the biggest cheer is reserved for when Eowyn of Rohan dispatches the Witch-King of Angmar courtesy of a Shakespearean loophole in his whole “no man can kill me!” schtick. Coming between the awe-inspiring Ride of the Rohirrim and the death of Theoden, it’s a terrific punch of joy and satisfaction.

“E.T. phone HOOOOOME!” (E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, 1982): E.T. is another of those films full of joy, but it’s also tinged with sadness. Melancholia bleeds into the film like sunlight through Elliot’s blinds. E.T. himself spends half the film getting sicker and sicker, until he appears to die, all pale and cold-looking. But then! The flower comes back to life! His heart glows bright red, visible through his weird hyperbaric chamber/coffin thing! Elliot flings back the lid, and E.T. barks his catchphrase euphorically. God, it’s great.

“Andy Dufresne, who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.” (The Shawshank Redemption, 1994): it’s a bit of a grim watch, Shawshank; this isn’t a Paddington-style joy-fest. Andy is wrongfully impression and then spends twenty years being brow-beaten and abused before making his escape. But what an escape; not just the audacity of it – not just the fact he gets out at all – but how he ingeniously tunnels his way out over the decades, steals the warden’s ill-gotten money, exposes the scandal at the prison, and – as Red says – crawls through a sewer. It’s a beautifully put-together scene, everyone getting their just desserts and deserved rewards, and is capped off shortly after when Red himself is released and gets to retire alongside his friend.

“You’re all clear, kid, now let’s blow this thing and go home!” (Star Wars, 1977): I almost had the mothership explosion from Independence Day on this list, because I remember how much that impacted me as a teenager; seeing the baddie aliens get theirs was just great. But really it’s a replication of this, the grandaddy of all “beating the bad guys” big bangs. Luke, whiney teenager from nowhere, ends up flying an X-Wing against the evil oppressive Empire’s mighty Death Star. When all hope seems lost, Han Solo returns, proving his heroism, knocking Darth Vader for six and leaving our hero free and clear to use the Force, Luke. Cue phenomenal fireball. Joy!

“I’m singin’ in the rain…” (Singin’ in the Rain, 1952): musicals are joyous, aren’t they? A proper old-fashioned feelgood sing-song can be transcendent. “Singin’ in the Rain” – as in, the song/dance number – is about a bloke so bloody happy that he doesn’t care if he gets wet. It’s a euphoric statement of intent, a declaration of both love and supreme serenity in and of itself. And as a piece of cinema, it’s all that and more; an escalating dance routine, as the music soars and the camera lifts up, and we take in the splendour of this one bloke kicking in puddles. It’s daft, it’s funny, and it’s just, well, feelgood.

[ry-ra]

Re-Watch: Episode 1 Doctors (2016)

I love Park Shin Hye and I wanted to re-watch Doctors. Kim Rae Won and Park Shin Hye made such an odd couple, but they made sparks fly <3

So let’s see if my memory serves me correct and this drama is still good 4 years later. I know they don’t really meet up in the present in this episode, but Yoo Hye Jung tells her story about the person she wants to meet up with and she shares her past and how they meet. Let’s Go~

Right off the bat some gangsters show up demanding treatment for their injured boss and he refuses to let Yoo Hye assist. He wants a male Doctor... sexist pig. She kicks some ass and this leads to a flashback of her High School life. She’s a problematic teen, but you can say misunderstood. She doesn’t have the best relationship with her dad and she lost her mother when she was little. She lives with her grandma, since the new stepmom is afraid of Yoo Hye. I love this role for Park Shin Hye. She got the roles of the sweet innocent girl next door and in this one she’s kicking ass, saving lives and smooching a suave sexy man. Good for her.

We meet Teacher Hong, Hong Ji Hong and he’s the biology teacher. Yoo Hye gets transferred to his school, but they first meet when she steals a CD at a record store he’s at. I find it funny she mentions that he’s got a lolita complex... lol!

He helps her at the record store, but outside he tells her that he only helped her since she was a student and demands her to give the CD back. They tussle with the bag and she kicks him! LOL! I forgot this part.

She fights a lot in this episode. 

Ji Hong is a Doctor, but for some reason can’t go into a hospital. I forgot he had a Doctor friend and I believe she also liked him. This man had 3 woman after him... he doesn’t have a Flynn Ryder face, but he’s handsome, so yeah, I can kinda see him having a flock of girls.

Yoo Hye goes to a night club and gets “assaulted” (can’t find the right word) by Kim Soo Chul, a sexy motorcycle oppa and then she fights some more! Damn, girl. They made her look like a bitch, good job! 

Plot twist, Teacher Hong is the new tenant at Yoo Hye’s grandma. She’s not happy, she kicks things, he’s scaredof her, so funny. The grandma tries to convice her to go to school, she refuses, so she makes her work. She quickly changes her tune and enrolls, but her teacher is Hong Ji Hong and he refuses to be her teacher, well, she can kick his ass, so his decision is a wise one.

He punishes the students that were caught fighting in the club, but they quickly point fingers to Yoo Hye as she’s the one that started the fight. They all get detention, but her stinking attitude rubs him the wrong way and he dismisses the other girls... I am shocked and not sure if he does it or not, I can’t recall!!! He picks up a stick and prepares to strike her ass! Oh My.

That concludes episode 1. I do recall most of the plot and can’t wait to finish re-watching this drama. I know it’s going to get sad, but I know there are going to be some great scenes between Kim Rae Won and Park Shin Hye.

[clairebeauchampfan]

It’s all a conspiracy, I tell ya. TBTB, The powers that be, are actually lizards, aren’t they?

These quotes from a recent over-excited post by three ‘fans’ . I’ve taken off the names to spare them the blushes when Caitriona and Tony’s Wedding Certificate comes out. But hey, that’ll be ‘faked’ too, won’t it? (my emphases) 

‘Fan A’

 Remember when this came out and Sam was Glamour’s no. 63 in their top 100 sexiest men. Selling the Highland warrior... one who obviously dates but is not in a committed relationship or about to get married, so women feel he’s available. We don’t see this quite so much now I guess given many people are onto the Fantasy man deal. Cait of course gets a mention here so it totally supports the opinion that the ONLY woman that could EVER threaten the sexy Highland warrior image is Caitriona. It was necessary to EXCLUDE her from the equation (imo FvF career carrot) as a sister who had a remarkable ‘wedding’ that the Highland warrior attended as a guest. Cait’s out, Sam’s obsession’s safe. No brainer. What’s interesting is that Sam never used to sell this well but since his meeting at Disney with Parnell and MIK got a gig, he’s now on board publicly running any connection to Cait under a bus. He’s backing the total burial of his own identity as a partner or family man which we’ve never seen before. As I’ve mentioned a number of times whatever Sam had in the pipeline to push him to do this must he big. Not sure how he’ll be with Cait in public...now she’s a sister...but he used to continually single her out as an important person in his life. The thing is...the universe kept them on side and supported their love for the way he did that imo. You start verbalising and the universe starts hearing...just sayin Sam. Of course the fly in the ointment in all this is if Sam has some little people in his life that look like him. Man, they’d certainly have those little rascals hidden away now and God forbid if anyone’s onto that! They’d be attacked and defamed for sure! I mean, we already know SC have their barrels locked and loaded incase shit hits the fan. Sam’s bullying letter and the evidence of killer-stalker grannies intruding on them is already there for any pissed off, played, Sam obsessed women to turn their anger onto Shippers and away from them. It’s there in place all ready to go. Sam and Cait can sit back and watch the onslaught of online bullying in their name from afar. It’s not going to be pretty but we know it’s coming. And let’s face it, they needed an out and we always knew it would be us. They can’t exactly turn around and run TPTB under a bus....they needed an exit strategy ready to go. The one thing they DON’T want is for the Sam obsessed to cotton on to the game before the pigs at the trough have had their fill...that everyone is satisfied and things have been ‘worth their while’. It’s not rocket science. Pandemic or not the sexy Highland warrior needs protecting as does the ‘exit strategy’.... Interestingly articles like this are becoming increasingly harder to find...I can see why....makes the whole game pretty obvious doesn’t it? Can’t have the Sam obsessed reading too many of these now they’ve been played for 6 years. What they are counting on is for those played women to be pretty dumb and latch onto the hooks in the exit strategy provided. I hope for their sake they’re right....they’ll already have enough pain from the years of lost moments and lies to haunt them...that’s if the universe continues to be on their side...and unfortunately the truth always has a way of coming out no matter how hard anyone tries to stop it...I mean...shared trailers and all...right Matt? Right Sam?? I say just come out already and get it over with before this happens!

‘Fan’ B

This post is the brutal truth.  But there is one more vector in this rocket ride from the galaxy to the garbage dump....the quality of the Series itself.  Like the “6-year lie....the show’s “real creative director” is driving the Series from “excellence” to the garbage dump as well.  Start watching the Series from Season 1 and continue through Season 5....it plunges downward from excellence to a Season 4 flop...then gives us a little blip upward in Season 5.  This downward trajectory matches identically with the lie about their private lives.  As the lie became more ridiculous with time....so did the Series.  How do the people in charge of this circus keep their jobs????  Who knows....maybe the virus will be the real killer of this misery.  But I especially like this part of the post......” Of course the fly in the ointment in all this is if Sam has some little people in his life that look like him.”

FAN C

Well said, Fan A and Fan B  Since its inception, this ‘fake narrative’ has become more and more unbelievable and ridiculous.   I thought adding the ‘fauxgagement’ hit the all time low, but then add the ‘fauxmarriage’ to someone who could not swing his ‘bat’ in the direction of a woman if he wanted to.  He as well as Caitriona look like they swallowed a glass of sour milk when they are ‘forced’ to stand within 3 feet of each other.   Then add in the list of ‘hot sexy girlfriend’s’ that supposedly shared Sam’s bed and you have a runaway locomotive that’s going to soon hit a brick wall.  Sam’s calling Caitriona his ‘we are together AND we work together’ significant other to his ‘sister’ has caused this narrative to hit rock bottom.   I really don’t think it can go any lower....but then I never thought Sam would call Caitriona, the mother of his children, his ‘sister’.  I fully believe that all would have gone on as it’s always done....just beat the dead horse again and the ‘newbie’s’ will never know that it’s all a ‘shit show, UNTIL COVID19 hit the world with the Pandemic. Not only did it implode Hawaiigate, it’s now gotten into the Hollywood Hills with ‘social distancing’ guidelines. And we all know that Sex and Violence are the Hollywood $$$$$$$ makers.  Put that into Outlander language, Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe, who play Jamie and Claire Fraser will NOT BE ALLOWED TO TOUCH, KISS, OR HAVE HOT SMOLDERING SEX WITHIN SEASON 6.   OMG, and I thought Season 4 was bad...this will be the downfall of the series. Subscriptions with STARZ will cancel like flies on shit.  If by chance they do produce a Season 6, the ratings would plummet.  Who wants to watch Jamie and Claire have ‘fucking eye sex’, 6 feet from each other. Remember, no touching and you must wear a mask.   UNLESS, THE TIME HAS FINALLY COME TO TEAR DOWN THAT WALL OF LIES, SAVE THE SERIES, SAM AND CAITRIONA ARE MARRIED!   Because as a married couple, they can touch, kiss and have mind blowing sex within a scene....because “THEY ARE MARRIED”!    What’s it going to be Parnell? Who IMO, has his balls wedged between a vice with the prospect of losing Sony/STARZ/LG’s top ‘cash cow’...are you willing to sacrifice the Outlander, Season 6 and possibly more?   Or are you a smart businessman (cough, cough) and you and Hirsch will give your ‘ok’ to let the ‘Cait’ out of the bag and announce that Sam and Caitriona are married and have been since late 2015.  The balls in your court Parnell....and for once, use your brains instead of your mini balls to make the right decision.   I think your job and your career depend on it!

SEE ! Photographic proof!That’s Parnell standing right next to the Queen!

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/apr/07/conspiracy-theory-paranoia-aliens-illuminati-beyonce-vaccines-cliven-bundy-jfk

[miz-joelys-sherlollilists]

Undercover Angels, Sherlolly Style

Most of the Sherlolly undercover fics can be found cross-referenced with Fake Relationship fics, but not all! I present the ones that don’t involve fake dating :)

A

A Modern Romance rainbow letters (Rated T, One-Shot) AO3 2017

B

The Bachelor by theSapphireSky (Rated K+, One-Shot) Adapt/Crossover AO3 2017

The Bait and the Beard by Ellis_Hendricks (Rated T, One-Shot) Godparents  AO3 2018

C

Cracking Disguise by Writingwife83/writingwife-83 (Rated T, One-Shot) AO3 2017

Cupboard Confessions by mizjoely (Rated M, One-Shot) Closet Snogging AO3 2016

D

Devil in a Blue Dress by darnedchild (Rated K, One-Shot) AO3 2016

Driving Miss Molly by flimflam99 (Rated T, Complete, Multi-Chapter) AO3 2017

F

First Kiss, or Protector by hobbitsdoitbetter (Rated K+, One-Shot) SAW 17  tumblr 2017

G

Garnir avec soin by flavialikestodraw & potix (Rated K, One-Shot) SAW 16 AO3 2016 

Gaslight & Greasepaint by hobbitsdoitbetter (Rated M, One-Shot) Married Sherlolly, PWP, Jealous!lock, Victorian AO3 2018

The Giving of Gifts by lilsherlockian1975 (Rated M, One-Shot) PWP, Dom!lock, Married Sherlolly, Anniversary AO3 2017

H

Hello, Nurse! by mizjoely (Rated T, One-Shot) Accidental High (Molly) AO3 2016

Hot Dogs, Handbags and Oh Hell by lilsherlockian1975 (Rated T, One-Shot) Love American (Sherlolly) Styel ff.net 2015

I

I am Iron Woman by MissClaraOswinOswald (Rated M, One-Shot) Adapt/ Crossover, SAW 2017, Superhero AU (MCU) AO3 2017

I Didn't Sign Up For This by TheresaWritesStuff (Rated K+, One-Shot) tumblr 2017

“I had a dream about you” (Not Your Color series) by sunken_standard (Rated T, One-Shot) S4: NAG AO3 2017

I Think I’m In Love With You (Never Been Kissed AU) by theSapphireSky (Rated T, One-Shot) Adapt/Crossover tumblr 2015

Insensitive by MacBeth13 (Rated M, Complete, Multi-Chapter) Casefic, Shall We Dance? AO3 2014

It's Never Lupus by darnedchild (Rated K+, One-Shot) AO3 2018

L

Lesson Plan by mizjoely (Rated M, Complete, Multi-Chapter) Teen Student Molly, Professor Sherlock ff.net 2014

The Littlest Untruth by afteriwake (Rated T, Complete, Multi-Chapter) Secret Relationship AO3 2015

The Long Term Assignment by MacyBear17 (Rated M, Unfinished, Multi-Chapter) Secret Agent/Spy ff.net 2015

Look at them, their perfect tans... (Double Date series)by sunken_standard (Rated T, One-Shot) AO3 2017

N

Needing A Lift by Dreamin (Rated T, One-Shot) AO3 2017

Not in the script (Undercover Actors) by BarPurple (Rated K, One-Shot) The Arts AO3 2018 

O

Of Time and Tides (Cruise Ship Ballroom Dancer Molly AU) by likingthistoomuch (Rated K+, One-Shot) The Arts AO3 2015

One Less Sleeping Bag by Pottermeg95 (Rated T, Incomplete, Multi-Chapter) Long fic, Post HLV, casefic ff.net 2014

Open by InkStainedHands1177 (Rated T, One-Shot) Post Reichenbach, Secret Relationship AO3 2020

P

Paragon by asteraceaeblue (Rated M, Complete, Multi-Chapter) Longfic, casefic, Secret Agent/Spy S3 ff.net 2013

Power Play by Closet Adventuralist (Rated M, One-Shot) PWP, Dom/Sublock  ff.net 2012

R

Role Reversal by texadian (Rated T, One-Shot) S3 AO3 2016

S

Sheena is.. by Amalia_Kensington (Rated T, One-Shot) AO3 2013

Sherlock Holmes, Stripper by MrsMCrieff (Rated M, Complete, Multi-Chapter) Birthday fic, PTFP ff.net 2019

The skirt is supposed to be this short by sunken_standard (Rated K+, One-Shot) AO3 2017

Stripped by Liathwen (Rated M, One-Shot) PWP, Birthday fic AO3 2014

T

Told you I can dance by writingwife83 (Rated K+, One-Shot) Shall We Dance?  tumblr 2018

Trapped Together by ValeriaAnne (Rated K+, One-Shot) Victorian (TAB Ins), SAW 20, Trapped Together AO3 2020

True Grit by sherlock-nanowrimo (Rated T, One-Shot) Post HLV tumblr 2016

U

Undercover by fettuccine_alfreylo (Rated T, One-Shot) Married Sherlolly AO3 2014

Undercover Baking by theSapphireSky (Rated T, One-Shot) What’s Cooking, Sherlolly? tumblr 2018

Untitled (Sherlock interrupts Lestrade & Molly undercover) by sherlolly-picfics (Rated K+, One-Shot) Secret Relationship, Jealous!lock tumblr 2017

Untitled (Sherlock picking Molly up for a case) by it-is-never-twins-watson (Rated K, One-Shot) PTFP AO3 2017

Untitled (Victorian Sherlolly undercover) by theSapphireSky (Rated K, One-shot) Victorian (TAB Insp.), Married Sherlolly tumblr 2018

W

What do you mean you're leaving? by sunken_standard (Rated T, One-Shot)  AO3 2017

When the soul wants (Memoirs of a Pathologist series) by OhAine (Rated M, One-Shot) PWP AO3 2016 

Winter's Tales: The Masquerade by allthebellsinvenice (Rated M, One-Shot) S3, PWP, Dom!lock AO3 2014

Y

Yeah, okay, when pigs fly (Double Date series) by sunken_standard (Rated T, One-Shot) Accidental High AO3 2017

[theparanormalperiodical]

7 Scariest Times The Paranormal Was Caught On Camera That You NEED To See, And The Real Stories Behind Them

What hasn’t been caught on camera?

There’s the 'accidental’ sextapes which are now a confirmed marketing technique, there’s the montages of racial slurs spewed by streamers looking to get, ahem, relevant, and then there’s the clips of customers telling shopping assistants that yes, having to wear a mask is in fact an infringement on their human rights.

(It’s not f*cking hard. Wear a damn mask.)

But everything isn’t just online.

Oh no.

It’s online and filmed in full HD.

And it’s not only the living that are having their most embarrassing moments projected to the world in Ultra-4K. The dead have also been making their name in viral videos.

In fact, it’s the desire to capture the paranormal on camera which has been used by influencer-wannabes and paranormal investigators to secure views and get people talking. But as a result of this, there’s a vast range of clips, pics, and tv shows that claim to capture evidence of the paranormal. And if that wasn’t enough, most of these are faked or fluffed to encourage viewers to fall for the alleged evidence of the afterlife.

But there are some which can’t be explained.

There are some which show no scars of ‘shopped shadows and ghostly figures.

There are some which fit the local legends and complete the paranormal puzzle of the location.

I’ve sifted through YouTube, and I’ve scoured the web for real footage of the supernatural. Now it’s time for you to get traumatised.

#1 - A late-night visitor to The Shaws Bay Hotel wanders around the bar, Australia

In this clip - taken at 1am in August 2015 - we see a white glowing mist move around the tables in full view of the CCTV camera. It keeps its peculiar form in the shape of an orb or a round shadow for a couple seconds, and appears to walk between the tables like a customer before quickly flying off camera.

Check out the video here.

Surely the glowing mist could just be a small bug buzzing across the camera? Or maybe a spec of dust floating in the thick air of the bar?

The thing is, this mist-figure set off the motion sensor security camera, prompting it to record. A moving bug wouldn’t be enough to cause it to start filming.

And if that wasn’t worrying enough, this potential paranormal evidence fits the local legends all too well. This is believed to be the ghost of ‘Little Sarah’, a 7 month old that died in the neighbouring Fenwick House in 1887. She was actually the daughter of the captain - Captain Fenwick - who built the house.

Locals are well versed in her hauntings:

'As a person who has lived in the old house, let me just say it is a very spiritually active house and area’

They typically cite strange noises and objects moving by themselves as the most common activity, but alarms being set off and doors opening are oft mention, too, matching the video in question. She is also known to wander around houses and buildings nearby, and clearly chose the local pub to explore that evening.

#2 - One of the black-eyed children of Cannock Chase wanders in the woods, UK

Black-eyed children are the latest urban legend trend, with creepy kids now dominating discussions of the paranormal. And this video clip is just one more scrap of evidence to suggest that maybe, just maybe, they are real.

You can see the evidence for yourself here.

Filmed by paranormal investigator Lee Brickley (okay, right, it might not have been filmed by him, there is some confusion over who filmed the video or who’s investigation it was in my research), he claims he was filming the notoriously haunted Cannock Chase location when he saw the young girl with pale skin and ‘coal-black’ eyes.

He claimed the child was roughly a metre in height and her head was tilted to one side as if she had been hung or her neck had been snapped (either way it ain’t good). For five minutes the young girl stared at them with her deep, dark eyes, until she sprinted back into the dense trees.

The thing is, this is not the only sighting of black-eyed children in Cannock Chase. As far back as 1982 sightings have been recorded. And all of the sightings - whether the children scream for help, run for the hills, or stare into the darkness - match other claims of supernatural activity local to the area.

The pig-man of Cannock Chase also haunts the location, and is probably presumed to be an evil entity similar to that of black-eyed children. These black-eyed children are believed to be either aliens, vampires, or ghosts.

But they are still largely considered to be simply an urban legend.

The haunted nature of the woods is only furthered by its bloody past: in the 1960s, 3 young girls went missing which were eventually traced back to Raymond Leslie Morris. Could these black-eyed children be the victims of his crimes?

#3 - Antiques move by themselves in Barnsley Antiques Centre, UK

Thanks to the Annabelle movies, haunted objects - whether in creepy-doll format or another vintage style - are the latest trend in terror. And it's for that reason that video clips like this are quite so scary.

In this video we see CCTV footage of a dark shadow next to a shelf. It then gently sways and a huge, heavy lamp comes crashing down from the shelf.

See for yourself.

Okay, fine, it’s a small shadow, and yeah only a few objects fall down. But according to the owner and visitors to the centre, it could be one of the spirits that haunts the location. So much so, that the centre actually has a YouTube channel devoted to their haunting which you can find here.

In 2016 the owner of the Barnsley Antiques Centre claimed he had experienced over 50 occurrences of peculiar activity alone. From the employees that work there to those looking to bag a bargain, this is not the first time something supernatural has been seen.

Fact is, if you collect enough old and potentially haunted objects under one roof, the unexplained is bound to occur. You can read more about haunted or cursed objects right here.

#4 - A glowing light and distinct orb is seen flying over a crib, UK

In this clip we open to a baby’s cot and 8 week old infant that is fast asleep. A baby monitor records a light floating above the cot. We also see the father of the child lean over the child, and a distinctive ghostly glowing orb shake and sway next to the child.

Check out the video.

Orbs are considered one of the most popular signs of paranormal activity that can be captured on camera. But what I want to focus on here is that it is hovering just about the baby.

Children are known for their ability to see and communicate with the paranormal far more than adults. Of course, this could just be an ‘imaginary friend’ or something simply from a daydream or a nightmare; but it's when children mention people that actually did exist that concerns arise.

The connection between children and spirits might just explain why this paranormal phenomenon lingered so closely to the infant. Could this have been a protective spirit, perhaps?

#5 - A haunted calculator is used to communicate with the dead, USA

It's a rule of thumb amongst paranormal enthusiasts:

You never, not ever, attempt to communicate with spirits.

Calculators controlled by spirits come under this umbrella of communication - even if it does sound like it belongs in a parody film.

What do you think?

There are enough videos on the web showcasing the uses of a ouija board, whether they’re real or not. But according to some psychic mediums, ghosts can use any conduit they want to communicate with us. Spirits on the other hand typically only communicate with us through mediums.

In fact, most paranormal investigators often resort to asking ghosts questions and waiting for a visible or audible response, such as a knocking sound. That’s why this video is quite so concerning.

Not only is the calculator old and seemingly unhackable to those ‘using’ it, by communicating with the ghost or spirit, they are inviting the presence to latch onto the location or the people communicating with it, allowing it to feed off their energy.

If this is an evil or negative spirit, this could be the start of a haunting.

#6 - The ghost of an RAF soldier is filmed walking along a busy road, UK

These days, hitchhikers are rarely picked up by passing cars. If anything says potential murderer, it’s that. But this video doesn’t catch a killer - it shows someone who has already been killed.

This clip shows a man clad in khaki and dark brown walking around a road near Belsay who is trying to flag down cars driving past. He appears to be an RAF soldier, but he actually served a couple decades ago. According to local history, this could be the spirit of a soldier that crash landed during the Second World War.

*insert Donald Trump meme about basic f*cking history*

What’s your verdict?

In October 1943, a spitfire spun into the ground at Middlepart Farm. Could this be the ghost of a soldier walking free from the wreck?

#7 - The spirits of soldiers are recorded at Gettysburg, USA

In this video we see small lights and shadowy figures move along a small leafy hill in Gettysburg, a national military park. And as a result of its history, this clip is believed to capture the spirits of soldiers that were caught up in the 3 day battle in Pennsylvania.

Check out the video here.

Thanks to its bloody history - from which approximately 7,800 soldiers died - claims that there is paranormal activity are easy to make. But the location itself has garnered a reputation for supernatural occurrences.

Books, documentaries, EVPs, videos, and pictures all claim to connect and reveal the spooky truth of the location. This video only fits too well.

Numerous spots within Gettysburg have been considered specifically haunted, including the local college, an orphanage, and the home of the only civilian that was killed during the battle. Soldiers tend to lead the haunting, but a ghost cat and ghost children are also spotted at a local inn.

The high emotional atmosphere and bloody violence that took place here - along with the severe volume of deaths - suggests that this short clip showcases just a few of the spirits that still linger here.

As video becomes the mainstream format for communication - whether you’re aiming to become the next big TikTok star or are just sending a meme to a mate - one thing is clear:

Why not use it to prove that the afterlife exists?

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