#when me and my friend were out on new years eve she wouldnt shut up about pretending to be an npc

[sappho-knight]

things i need to get off my mind

[surveysonfleek]

1581.

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? yes, i have! its one of my favourite cities

What did you have for breakfast this morning? i had scrambled eggs and hash browns

Do you have any loose change in your pocket? no pockets and i hardly ever leave things in my pockets

Do you like Taylor Swift? i dont mind her, she has some catchy songs

What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? camp rock haha

If you met your favorite celebrity, would you be calm or star struck? id try to stay calm, id probably be super nervous just being in their presence though

Are there any lights on in the room you’re in? nope, its day time

What’s your favorite subject in school? it was visual arts

What’s your favorite holiday? christmas, it always means ill have a week or two off work!

Do you ever have to do yard work? nope

Is your school close to your house? ive been out of school for a longggg time but it was a 5-10 min drive

Speaking of school, how did you get there today? -

Do you think Bad Romance is a catchy song, or an annoying one? its a good song! i dont love it but im not surprised at how massive it got

Do you use perfect grammar online? honestly, in my previous surveys i would but now i cant be bothered. i use perfect grammar day to day when working so i just sorta wna chill and not focus too much when i do these now

Are you currently using a laptop? yes

Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? most likely, i used to love downloading them back in the limewire days

Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? i loooooved britney when she first blew up. and i still do! i dont listen to her stuff too heavily anymore but i still love it

Is it a windy day? nope

In the past week, have you ridden in a taxi? no

What shorthand do you use the most? if were talking about typing, i still text/chat people with ‘u’ instead of ‘you’

Do you ever wish on stars at night? no, ive never seen a shooting star

What color are your eyes? brown

What album is the current song you’re listening to off of? not listening to music, i have the tv on while doing this

What are you doing after you finish this? not sure, maybe another survey

In your opinion, what song is the most overplayed right now? i havent listened to the radio in forever

Are you in a band? no

How clean is your bedroom? pretty clean!

Is there a pen within reaching distance of you? no

Are you sitting at a desk? no, im in bed lol

Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? male

Do you normally shut your bedroom door before you go to sleep? of course ol

Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? i feel lik ei have once but i do not remember anything about it 

Would you ever dye your hair a different color? yes

Are there any framed pictures in the room you’re in? yes

Have you ever been to a Broadway show? not in broadway... ive seen the musicals lion king and aladdin in my city though

Do you watch So You Think You Can Dance? i did when it first came out

What’s your favorite movie soundtrack? none really stand out to me

Do you prefer group or individual work? individual, id rather just count on myself

Do you have a key to anything besides your house? car

Are you wearing anything with stripes? nope

What time did you go to sleep last night? i think 1am

Did anyone tell you you were beautiful today? no

What show did you last watch? american horror story

Do you think you’ll do anymore surveys today? maybe one more

What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? run and raisin

When was the last time you stayed home from school sick? years ago when i actually attended school lol

Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? i probably could, i just wouldnt have the patience

If you could run a red light and not get caught, would you? nah. id rather not risk mine or others’ lives

Do you like to listen to music as you do your homework? i dont have homework

Did you think Adam Lambert’s AMA performance was really that controversial? i dont recall, this survey is probably really old

Do any bands flat-out annoy you? nah, i just dont listen to them

Do you have a mirror in your bedroom? yes

Was today a birthday for any of your friends? yes actually! ill need to greet him

When was the last time you rode in a limo? never been in one :(

Do you take naps daily? no. i wish!

Do you still make Christmas lists? yes haha

Do you watch the show Dexter? i did. apparently theyre rebooting it which is exciting! the ending was pretty trash

What’s the background on your phone? its a dark cityscape of nyc

When were/will you be a a sophomore in high school? -

Are you scared of any animals? cockroaches. also i live in australia so while im not afraid of snakes and spiders, im pretty mindful of them

Have you ever been to any sort of convention? yup! ive been to sexpo and a wedding expo lol

Which song did you last listen to on repeat? probably a kehlani song

Where do you want to live when you grow up? around here still

Are you currently using a blanket? yep

Are there any songs that make you cry? not really

How many siblings do you have? one

What are you doing this weekend? its saturday today. im doing nothing. tomorrow im going on a picnic with friends

Do you prefer swimming at the beach or in a pool? pool, its so much more comfortable than a beach lol

When was the last time you had a haircut? hmm... maybe june?

Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? a harp!

Are you in band or chorus at your school? no

Do you know what you want for Christmas? nope. i dont ‘need’ anything.

Do you watch fireworks on New Year’s Eve? most of the time!

Is your birthday within the next three months? no

How long is the song you’re listening to? not listening to music

Are you anticipating anything this week? yeah, kinda waiting to see if were going ahead with buying some land

Is your mom or dad the older parent? my dad

Have you taken the SATs yet? -

Do you watch anything on E? i dont have e

Are you going to get off the computer now that you’ve finished this? nah maybe one more survey lol

[rainecloud020604]

below the cut is a bit of a long venty self reflection.. tw: sensitive topics, the specifics are in the tags

so with quartinteen going on i’ve had a lot of time to look at myself and my actions, i have a bad habit of over analyzing things and ripping them apart. including myself.

i’ve noticed that i keep a lot of things to myself to the point where its unhealthy, i dont tell people when im upset, i dont tell people that im hurt, i dont even tell my parents when i feel sick anymore unless i feel like im dying and need medicine and maybe a trip to the doctor. Im still scared to do that...

i get made fun of and mocked, told im overreacting when im sick or hurt by my parents. its really affected me, being told to walk it off cause im being a baby or im being a drama queen for attention i dont really want. its at the point where i have fallen into a habit of lying about my health, some days i feel like utter shit and i know it will show, i will tell some people, not my parents, my friends i talk to that day. it’s gotten to the point where i was ready to kill myself because my parents wouldnt listen and take me to a doctor after i could eat or drink anything for two weeks without immediately rushing to the bathroom, that was new years eve... i almost did, it took a lot to not do that, and i scared myself, i was scared to call a hotline, i was scared to move, go downstairs, speak, after i spent 30 minutes breaking down and begging my parents to take me to a doctor i was done with life and done with trying. This really affected me and shook me up for months, it was the first time in years i had ever thought about doing that, i felt horrible and miserable cause i scared a lot of people that night. 

my mental health is even worse than my physical health all the time, i normally wont talk about it when its bad unless someone asks, i’ve been brushed off so many times by my family i no longer have that confidence i used to. my dad for the longest of time told me my depression didnt exist until my doctor did, he told me i was lying for attention, he told me i didnt have anxiety, i didnt have anything wrong and i needed to shut up and pay attention, push through it and shut up. mental health issues were tabo around my parents for ages, when we got kicked out of our house and moved in with some friends my mental issues really showed through, this was around the time i joined tumblr, my parents would fight constantly and i fled here for safety, it was clear i had something wrong, all of my sibling do as well, my brother has anger issues and doesnt know how to cope with that, he tends to hit things and hit me when angry cause i pissed him off or was in his way, he’s 11 and three times my size. im 16. my sister has anxiety and depression as well, she always drags herself down and fakes a smile to everything, she cant handle being yelled at anymore. we all have faced abuse from my parents, and then moving into a super toxic and worse place for a year made everything worse, my parents stressed and fighting to the point where we would hide and cry cause it was so much. partially through that year i snapped at my best friends dad for being homophobic, racist and sexist, i said a few things and got suspended from my school while there was a sexual predator on the campus after my friends, he was never arrested and he tried to contact me recently because he was bored. i was broken for awhile but going to the magnet school i met some people who helped me. i made a new friend. that place that was toxic we left after they tried framing us for a bed bug issue and tried making us clean the entire house, and the guy who was my dads formal best friend called my mom a few nasty things and called us all lazy and ungrateful. i had a bike stolen during the move and they refused to give it back. we stayed in a hotel for a bit, i became everyones therapist for a few days, my brothers, sisters, moms and even my dads, i couldnt vent to anyone. we moved in with my grandma, my step grandpa turned out to be an abusive asshole and attacked my aunt and almost attacked my mom and grandma one night when we were going to bed, i had both my brother and sister in my room hiding and crying, i was comforting them and telling them the yelling would be over soon. 

my grandma had her ac detroyed, license plate stolen, other stuff stolen from her as well, i was scared to walk to school for a month and had to look at the door at all times. one day he randomly busted through the door and i broke down scared as hell because i was in line of sight and the first person he saw, and was in the same room as him. it took me awhile to recover from that. later on i started failing my classes, i couldnt keep up because my old school wasnt where they were, i was ahead but behind because my motivation slacked and i didnt want to be there, i started getting really sick, i went to try to see my guidance counselor one day because i was ready to break down at everything and i needed to talk to someone and possibly go home, i saw a different one, they recommended a mental health counselor and i start counseling sessions, when i checked out the nurse shamed me for not going to her and checking out. i walked home that day and cried. i started counseling sessions after that, i was still scared to speak about all of these issues, some weeks i didnt see her, others i did, the first day my ela teacher flipper her shit cause i was late that day to her class after i was at a counseling session for part of her class cause i needed to say things and speak. i lost the confidence to talk to me ela teacher after that. she would have issues with the fact that i couldnt speak loudly at times, part of the year she hated the fact that i drew in her class to focus, it took me twice explaining it before she would let me. later on that year she accused me of doing other classwork and make me hold up what i was drawing rather than walking over, i cried the rest of her class and had a panic attack in biology venting to a friend. my parents told me i was being dramatic after breaking down and explaining how my day went. i started to stop speaking up about my issues entirely to them. 

i’ve had issues when i am sick at school, i’ve gotten grounded for going home sick, after i was told i could call home, it was because the nurse said i looked tired, she also had told my dad that he knew me better than she did so she was unsure, he told me in the car i put the family to shame and made him look bad, took away my devices, left for work while i took a nap, i woke up still sick and felt even worse mentally, i forced myself to walk and finish up the rest of the school day. it took my mom yelling at my dad to get my devices back, he guilt tripped me after giving them back and i felt horrible for the weekend. 

my dad started saying i was faking being sick to skip school, keep in mind i have never skipped a day in my life and have always enjoyed going to school, he was just pissed off. my mental health was affecting my physical health, i wasnt able to see my mental health counselor for a month, when i needed to most. 

i started developing and eating disorder again, i started to only eat one meal a day, starve myself for existing, i’ve been fighting it for awhile, it decided to get worse, i am still fighting it. i am at a point where i can handle two meals a day again which is progress. 

when quartinteen started, that ment i was stuck at home, unable to focus on my classes anymore, and my counseling sessions were done in zoom, i wasnt ever in a safe place to openly speak. i tried pushing for therapy, my parents considered and agreed, they tried to figure something out and never got back to it. everything has gotten worse, not only in my head but the world around me...

keep in mind all this, happened in two years. most of the belittling and breaking me down however has gone on for most of my life.

i dont want sympathy, i want to get this off my damn chest, i dont want attention, i was this at hand so when i need to point at something that happened to me i have to reference to while im breaking down. im sorry about all this mess and wasting time typing this out and that right now isnt the time to hear me whine. 

[imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul]

Christmas At the Burrow - Fred Weasley

On the sixth day of Christmas . . .

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader Word Count: 2,409 Synopsis: After the joke shop gets attacked, Fred and the reader are forced to spend Christmas at the Burrow with his extended family.

A loud clang from downstairs drew your attention, and your heart started to beat loudly as you raced down the stairs. There was always sound coming from the joke shop downstairs, but this one was different. As you reached the door, you stopped, listening carefully.

“Freddie?” you called softly. There was no longer any sound coming from the shop at all. You shoved open the door, your wand at the ready. Fred and George were both on the ground. “What the hell is going on?”

“Avada Kedavra!” You dropped to the ground as a bright green jet fired above your head. 

“You okay?” George asked, looking up at you. You nodded as you tried to crawl across the destroyed floor of the joke shop. 

“What’s wrong with him?” you asked, motioning to Fred who wasn’t moving much. 

“Took a hit to the head, he’ll be alright.” You got over to the twins hiding behind the register, taking Fred’s hand. He smiled through the pain coming from the bleeding cut on his head.

“I know you’re still here, bitch!” You looked over at George who shook his head at you. You winked before standing and stunning the Death Eater quickly approaching you. 

“Is he the only one?” you asked, taking his wand. 

“I think so. Come on, Fred,” George said, helping his brother stand. “We’ve got to get out of here.”

“And you said keeping the business open wouldn’t be safe,” Fred said with a laugh. You rolled your eyes as you obliviated the Death Eater’s mind. 

“Let’s go.”

“I told him, I told him a thousand times! It’s a good thing this happened. The next time, it would have been murder!” Mrs. Weasley yelled as she cleaned the cut on Fred’s forehead. 

“Mum, we get it, you don’t have to keep going,” George said, shooting you a look. 

“Clearly I do! It’s a lucky thing Y/N was upstairs or who knows what could have happened to you.”

“Y’know, Mum, this is kind of hurting my head more than the spell did.” She smacked his arm, but shut up as she finished bandaging him. 

“You’re not going back there. The lot of you,” she said finally before walking out of the room. 

“At least we’ll be closer to the Order,” George said, relaxing on the couch. You sighed, standing up. You left the living room and walked up the steps of the burrow, finding Fred’s old bedroom.

“Ginny,” you said with a smile when you walked in. 

“Hey,” she said, sitting up in bed. “How are you?”

“We’re fine. I thought that Mrs. Weasley would be putting us in here.”

“Mum turned my room into a hotel for any visiting Order members. There’s an extra bed in Charlie’s room for George. I think she was going to put you two up in Ron’s room.”

“With the ghoul?” Ginny laughed as she politely pushed you out of the room. As the door shut Fred touched your arm. His left arm was leaning on the shelf over your head, a smile on his face.

“Dad forced the ghoul into the attic again.” You nodded, walking past him. “Y/N?”

“Hmm?” you asked, continuing to walk.

“You alright?” He grabbed your hand, stopping you halfway to Ron’s bedroom. 

“Yeah.”

“I promise we won’t be here long.” You brushed his cheek and walked to Ron’s bedroom. The bright orange walls burned your eyes, and you instantly turned off the light to make it more subtle. 

“We aren’t going back to the shop, Fred,” you said, sitting down on Ron’s twin bed. 

“Not tonight.”

“Not ever.” He frowned as he sat down next to you.

“What are you talking about?”

“That’s the sixth break-in in a month. There’s no way we’re going back there.” He pushed some of your hair behind your ears and frowned.

“Things will settle down. We’ll be back just in time for Christmas.”

“Six days?” You rolled your eyes and flopped down on the bed.

“I promise, everything will be fine. Besides, I left your Christmas presents there.” You groaned, sitting up and grabbing his collar. You pulled him down on top of you, looking him in the eyes.

“Fred, I don’t care about the presents. We’re not going back there because I’m not going to risk losing you again. I’m scared.” Fred frowned, pulling you into his chest. He kissed your head as you cried gently.

“I’m sorry. You’ve been so strong. I didn’t realize-”

“How hard it is for me?” you finished. He nodded as you laughed. “Freddie, I know it’s hard on all of us, but you’re being stubborn. We don’t have to put ourselves at risk.”

“So you’d rather live with my Mum?” You laughed again, snuggling into his chest.

“If it means we all stay alive? Yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, you weren’t the one who befriended Harry Potter seven years ago. How were you supposed to know that he would become your brother’s best friend and bring mortal danger into the lives of your family.” He snorted as he threw the horrendously orange blanket around the two of you.

“Are you sure you don’t mind pink?” Mrs. Weasley asked you, frantically knitting by the fireplace three days before Christmas.

“I like pink,” you replied, wrapping up a pair of mittens you had horribly knitted for Fred. 

“I’ll just make you a blue one, too.”

“Mrs. Weasley that’s really not necessary.” She ignored you as she reached into her basket and pulled out a large ball of blue yarn. You sighed, reaching for another box that Mrs. Weasley gave you to wrap. 

Fred walked in a few minutes later, followed by George and Ginny. You smiled at them, glad for the distraction from Mrs. Weasley’s crying and ranting. 

“Hey, Mum, Remus is here in the kitchen,” Ginny said.

“Oh, good, help me fix him dinner,” she said, scrambling out of the room. Fred sat on the floor next to you, kissing your lips.

“How’d the search go?”

“There’s not much left. They torched most of the stuff.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. We wanted to make all new product anyway. How’s it going in here?” You frowned, making him laugh. “Nothing like our flat above the joke shop.”

“At least it’s safe here.” Fred frowned, leaning in to kiss you again. However, before he could, Mrs. Weasley called you. “I’ll see you later.” 

“She hates it here,” George said once you had walked into the living room. Fred groaned, running his hands over his face.

“I know.”

“Still gonna pop the question to her on Christmas day?” George asked as Fred sat next to him on the couch. 

“Well, I’d like her to say yes.” George laughed just as Mrs. Weasley barked out a few more orders. You came into the room, holding a box of ornaments to still go on the tree, and tossed them to Fred.

“Everything alright, love?” he asked, picking off a green bobble on his shirt.

“Great, Freddie,” you said bitterly, stalking back into the kitchen.

“I’d wait,” George said, beginning to help him put the rest of the decorations on the tree.

Christmas Eve was supposed to be better, Fred told himself. The two of you had a great morning, even if it was in Ron’s old bed. He was hoping to invite you for an even longer stay in bed when Bill knocked on the door. Struggling to pull his boxers on, Fred opened the door.

“Morning,” Bill said, glancing over at you, still covered in Ron’s orange sheets. You forced a smile, hiding your face in the pillow afterward.

“What do you want?”

“A break. Mum has been bossing Fleur and me around since dawn, and we’d like to do a little bit of celebrating of our own, too.” 

“Gross,” Fred said, reluctantly picking his clothes off of the floor. “We’ll be down in a bit.” Bill shut the door behind him, and you revealed your face from behind the pillow. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” you said, walking over to him. “Happy Christmas Eve.” He kissed you softly, holding you to his chest.

“Happy Christmas Eve.”

Mrs. Wesley was so stressed about keeping the Christmas traditions alive in these trying times that she completely forgot about keeping them fun. She had everyone decorate cookies in the kitchen, and while Fred had his arms around you to give your gingerbread a beard just like Hagrid’s, she came over and told you that you were wasting frosting.

Dinner was worse. You were in charge of making mashed potatoes, but when you served them, Mrs. Weasley said that Ron liked them lumpy, and yours were too smooth. You cut into your plate four times that night, and Fred had to charm it out each time. 

You were sitting by the tree with Fred after dinner, drinking a cup of tea spiked with Fire Whiskey. George and Ginny were playing a game of exploding snap, Bill and Fleur were discussing in hushed tones with Remus and Kingsley.

“Present time!” Mrs. Weasley said, bustling into the room. She passed one around to everyone, a wide smile on her face. You each opened a pair of pajama pants. Fred and George’s were matching with an embroidered logo of Weasley Wizard Wheezes. Yours were embroidered with twinkling purple stars. For what felt like the first time in a while, you beamed widely.

“Alright, you lot, time for bed. Christmas comes early!” Mrs. Weasley said, ushering you all out of the living room. You followed behind a row of redheads, and were at the top of the stairs when you realized you left your wand downstairs. If it were normal times you wouldn’t mind, but with a war going on, it was always best to be armed.

“Oh, Mrs. Weasley,” you said, nearly running into her at the end of the stairs.

“Is everything alright, Y/N?”

“Yes, I just forgot my wan- Are you alright, Mrs. Weasley?” She sniffed back a few tears, nodding.

“No. It’s Christmas and my son and his friends who I love as children are missing, my children who are home hate being here, I don’t know if this is going to be our last-”

“Hey, hey,” you said, helping her to sit down. “We don’t hate it here. We’re all just as worried as you.”

“Really?”

“Really. And this isn’t going to be our last Christmas together, I promise.” She smiled, hugging you tightly. 

“Thank you, Y/N. Go on, now, I’ll be fine. Fred’ll be missing you.”

“Goodnight, Mrs. Weasley,” you said, running up the stairs quickly. Fred was in his new pajamas, creating a small ball of light at the end of his wand when you walked in.

“Hey, where’d you go?” he asked, sitting up in bed. 

“Ran into your mum on my way to grab my wand.” He nodded and scooted over so you could climb in bed next to him. You changed out of your jumper and jeans and slipped on a Holyhead Harpies t-shirt and your new pajamas.

“I love you,” you said, crawling into bed with him.

“I love you,” he said, a look of subtle confusion on his face. “What did my mum say?”

“She just reminded me what’s really important.” He kissed your forehead, still not fully understanding what you were saying. Before he could ask though, you had closed your eyes.

Christmas morning broke, and for once you weren’t woken up by any other Weasley than the one you wanted. Fred was humming a Christmas carol as he played with your messy bedhead.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Morning.”

“Happy Christmas.” You smiled at him, letting him kiss you softly. 

“No crazy orders this morning?” you asked.

“Nope.”

“Well this might be the best morning ever,” you said, holding his cheeks as you kissed him again.

“Oh, it will be.” You raised an eyebrow at him as he climbed over your body and stumbled out of bed. For the first time, you looked over your shoulder and saw the tiny tree that Fred had conjured up.

“What is this?” you asked, sitting up happily.

“Well, we aren’t at our flat, but I still wanted our first Christmas as an adult couple to be just ours.”

“Adult couple sounds gross,” you said, crawling out of bed and over to him on the floor.

“Well, how about I call us something else?” 

“Wh-” Fred reached around the little tree, bringing out a small, square box. “Is that for me?”

“It is,” he said, handing it to you with a smile. You ripped off the paper, and opened the ring box, finding a petite gold ring. “I know it’s supposed to be five gold rings, but I thought one was better than none.” You laughed, feeling a prick of tears in your eyes.

“I thought all of the presents were destroyed.”

“In the shop, yeah, I’ve been carrying this around with me for quite some time. May I?” You nodded as he took the ring out of the box. 

“Y/N,” he began, a few tears forming in his eyes, “I love you so, so much. The things you’ve done for me, and the ways you’ve supported me, you’ve helped me more than you’ll ever know. I am so grateful that you cursed me in Harry’s D.A. club and that I got to spend every moment after that trying to get you to love me.” You laughed as he picked up your hand. 

“I love you, and I want to start repaying you for all the things you’ve done for me. I never want you to feel scared or alone or anything and not know that I’ll be right there. I want you to be a part of my crazy family. I want to spend every day knowing that I have the most amazing woman by my side. I want to make you happy.” 

“You do,” you said, laughing softly. Fred laughed, too, squeezing your hand.

“Will you marry me, Y/N?”

“Yes.” He slipped the ring on your finger before pulling you in for a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Happy Christmas.”

“Happy Christmas.”

“Fred! Y/N!” You were leaning in to kiss him again when Mrs. Weasley called.

“Welcome to the family,” Fred said with a smile.

“There’s no other family I’d rather be with,” you said, kissing his lips before hopping up to go help Mrs. Weasley make everyone else’s Christmas become as spectacular as yours.