#when it's actually just a bunch of useless crap

[reindeersonmytshirt]

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[oh-no-its-bird]

Welcome back to another episode of "Birds incredibly niche aus that are almost definitely inspired off of some shit that happened to her"

On today's episode, I bring you; Disgruntled donations attendant Kakashi and "keeps bringing shit I can't fucking accept" Obito

(What is a donations attendant? Basically the person who works in the back rooms of good will who accepts donations from people who swing by with them. Lots of lifting heavy shit into boxes and moving furniture, lots of telling people "ma'am, that's a bunch of rusty nails. I can't accept that.")

Anyways.

Donations attendant Kakashi.... I think he works with Yamato and Shisui + Itachi are also there somewhere. (Team ro content...oughh...) Sarutobi is his shitty annoying boss

Kakashi is built like a stick and looks fucking anemic, so he's always getting people wary of handing him heavy things to lift, or offering to help— which is only actually helpful like 10% of the time and mildly patronizing the other 90%

Still, others can't help but worry

The actual point of this au is just Obito continuously coming by with things Kakashi can't actually accept and deriving way too much joy from making Kakashi explain why

He is pulling up with a truck bed loaded with just straight up rusty metal and going whatever do you mean owo ??? When Kakashi goes "Obito what the fuck."

He shows up with a mattress covered in suspicious red stains. They can't accept mattresses anyways, the stains are him going the extra mile.

Or he shows up when the store is closed just to drop bags of random crap and broken furniture on their back porch so Kakashi has to sort through it first thing in the morning.

^ on that note, multiple times Kakashi will reject whatever Obito brought in only for Obito to go "oh that's ok, I'll just bring it in again when you're gone, teehee <3"

Just this silent war between them with Obito continuously showing up with increasingly concerning things just to piss off Kakashi

It's incredibly unclear if they're actually friends or not. Yamato, Itachi and Shisui have a bet going on what the fuck their history and relationship is supposed to be. Shisui thinks they're friends, Yamato thinks they're enemies. Quietly, Itachi thinks they might be dating.

(The answer is all three and none of them at once)

I think Obito is actually taking unwanted trash from other Akatsuki members for this. He ran out of weird, useless, suspicious and / or dangerous shit to try and donate in that first month— he's been offering to take out the others trash since he ran out

Hidan especially is happy to give him things he doesn't want (most of it is blood stained. "Dont worry, Tobi" he says "the blood isnt mine!" "Oh yeah Kakashi will love this.")

Kakuzu asks if there's money involved in the disposal then gets disinterested when he learns there isn't

Konan once gives him a live bomb.

Itachi has yet to admit he knows Obito outside of work. (He is going out of his way to not be there when Obito comes by to bother Kakashi)

Uhhh something something then they angrily make out over the haunted dolls Obito brought in from Sasori (they weren't "haunted enough" for him to keep)

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Dorm Heads - Reader Has A Collection of Items

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I'm still sick unfortunately, but thankfully my migraine is gone so I decided that I should still write the asks that have been sent in. Fun fact: I have a collection of old keys as well as a collection of quarters and Midori (A×K) and Sanemi (KNY) themed items. —Benny🐰

                                                                                                   

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🌹 I don't see Riddle as the collecting type, so he probably doesn't get the point of having a collection in the first place. He'd just see it as useless clutter or even a bunch of random trash that you keep in your room. It doesn't matter what you collect, he just doesn't get it.

🌹 Now, while Mr. Rosehearts thinks you're hoarding trash like some sort of giant bipedal raccoon, he won't stop you but won't encourage you either. He loves you so he'll let you explore your interests at your own pace... even if he thinks it's weird. If collecting various items makes you happy, Riddle won't stop you, he loves seeing you smile.

🌹 Let's say, in Riddle's part, that you collect standard playing cards of various themes. Ex. Solitaire cards with varying seasonal and holiday designs. Riddle would most likely ask you why you need so many different packages of cards and would likely try to convince you to use them once and a while since playing cards are to be played with. But if you say no he would drop it.

🌹 If you gift him something from your collection, he wouldn't get it but would accept it anyway because it's a gift from you. Riddle would probably put it on a shelf in his room or pin it to his wall, whatever it is. He'll grab it down and just examine it when he misses you.

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"My Rose... What's all this for? ... A collection? B‐but these are— ah... nevermind, what a... uhm lovely collection you have here..."

"Oh! This one is for me? Ah... well, thank you, My Rose."

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🦁 Leona is another person who I don't see as the collecting type, but if he did have a collection I think it would be a collection of different types of pillows. He keeps his collection on his bed and the surrounding floor because there are so many. So, Leona certainly doesn't mind nor care really if you have a collection of items.

🦁 That's not to say that our lion boy doesn't get annoyed when your attention is focused on your collection rather than him. Even if you and Leona were just cuddling and you turn to your collection, you've successfully pissed him off. Good luck getting him to let you go the next time you lay down for a nap with him. He won't. You're stuck now.

🦁 For Mr. Kingscholar's part, let's say you collect little carved wooden figures. Ex. Animals, plants, monuments, etc. Leona found out about your collection before you told him actually. He was getting comfortable on your bed, ready to lay down for another nap when he felt something hard poking him in the side. And lo and behold, it was a little carved wooden lion no bigger than a chess piece.

🦁 Leona will take whatever you give him not without complaint though, but if you try and take it back he won't give it to you. He most likely makes Ruggie turn whatever you give him into a necklace or a keychain saying that he can carry it with him at all times. On days when he can't see you, Leona will stare at the item you gave him and trace its edges and crevices with a smile on his face.

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"Hah? What's all this crap doin' on your bed? Move it off. I wanna lay down. C'mere Herbivore, I need somethin' soft to lay on."

"Huh? What's this for? Ah... sure whatever, I'll keep so you'll let me sleep already."

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🐙 Azul is an avid collector himself. He most notably collected contracts before his overblot, but he also likes to collect little fossils that he finds on beaches and embankments. Azul is certainly interested in the fact that you have a collection and would love to share his collection with you.

🐙 I'll say it point blank, Azul has 100% definitely tried to suggest selling numerous items in your collection. But he tones it down when you assure him that they're not for sale. He'll bring it up in passing every once in a while though, he's still not giving up. Azul will stop if you tell him to, though.

🐙 For octopus wifey you'll be collecting rocks of all kinds. Ex. Smooth and shiny pebbles to small chunks of gemstones. Azul will also contribute to your collection by gifting you various types of pearls of small pieces of dead coral. He even got you a special box to keep your collection in, isn't he so sweet?

🐙 When you give Azul something from your collection he'll shyly accept it and mutter a cute and quiet little thank you. He'll put it on his desk in his private office in the Monstrou Lounge; he makes sure to slip it into a drawer whenever Floyd comes in though. Whenever Azul is very busy at the lounge and can't see you, he'll glance at it every so often between signing papers.

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"This is quite the collection you've got here, Angel Fish. You know... a few of your little collectibles could go for a hefty sum... No pressure, of course."

"Hm? For me? I... w‐well thank you, Angel Fish."

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🪞 Oh, Vil collects things as well. Jewelry is the item of choice in his case; from antique brooches to new-age hairpins. He doesn't mind that you collect things, but he will be a bit snooty about which items are deemed worthy of being collected. Vil will absolutely eye your collection with disdain if it's something he doesn't like, but he won't say anything.

🪞 Vil finds collecting to be a respectable hobby that any fair gentleman should have, so he certainly supports you. He actually discovered your hobby when he barged in came to your dorm to see you and saw your collection littering the vanity he ordered for you. This kind of annoyed Vil, but he let it go when he saw how happy you were.

🪞 In Mr. Schoenheit's case, I believe a collection of feathers fits the best. Ex. Pheasant feathers, eagle feathers, peacock feathers, etc. Vil doesn't mind your collection but he does think it's a bit unsanitary that you'd pick something up off the ground and keep it, especially something like a feather.

🪞 Vil will accept gifts from you all the time, but sometimes he accepts them and just puts out of sight if he doesn't like it. If you give him an item from your collection, he'll likely pin it to the side of his full length/vanity mirror or sit it on the desk of his vanity. Whenever he's too busy with his acting and modeling career to see you, Vil will take a few glances at it while he's putting on his makeup.

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"Ah... Sweet Potato... What's all this garbage doing cluttering up your vanity? Collection? Wouldn't you rather... oh, I don't know... collect more appealing items per chance."

"Where in the world did you get this? Oh? You're gifting this to me? Well... I suppose I must accept it then..."

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🪲 Kalim has a collection too! He collects anything that catches his interest at the time, so his collection is compiled of all sorts of different things. He is overwhelmingly supportive of you and your collection. Kalim would love to share his collection with you!

🪲 Please! Please, please, please show Kalim your collection, he'll show you his as well, it'll be a nice little bonding experience between the two of you. He'll often give you all sorts of random things he comes across and ask if you'd add it to your collection or make a whole new collection based around it.

🪲 For our adorable sunshine boy, we'll make your collection one of coins. Ex. Coins from different countries, coins that are no longer produced, pressed coins, etc. Kalim finds them all so interesting and always asks about the history surrounding them. He's definitely given you coins from the scorching sands so you can add them to your collection.

🪲 If you give Kalim something from your collection, he's absolutely ecstatic! He probably keeps whatever item you decide to give him in his pocket at all times. When he can't see you, Kalim will reach into his pocket and run his fingers along the item to feel its texture.

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"Woah! These are so cool! Where did you find all this stuff? Do you want to see my collection of cool stuff too? It's in my room! C'mon let's go!"

"Eh? OH! For me! You're so sweet! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I'll give you something too, wait here!"

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💀 Idia obviously has a large collection of his own. He collects anime and video game figures; he even has an entire room in the Ignihyde dorm dedicated to it. Idia's glad you collect things as well, it makes him feel like less of an outcast.

💀 Do you want to see his collection too? Idia is very enthusiastic about sharing his collection with you, which is a lot for him to trust you with, so please say you like it or he might cry. He most likely won't try and contribute anything to your collection or really compliment it all that much, he's far too shy.

💀 In Idia's case I think collecting ornate keys would fit perfectly. Sometimes, when he comes to your room, he'll be distracted by all the different keys that you had and shyly ask you where you found all of them. Idia won't ask all that often, but he tries to do it more since he likes the way you smile when you talk about your interests.

💀 Idia gets so jittery when you gift him things, he thinks he's undeserving so he always ends up with teary eyes. He'll probably keep whatever item you give him in the top drawer of his dresser. Sometimes, when he's too shy to leave his room, Idia will dig through his drawer and clutch it in his hand, running his thumb over it.

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"You collect stuff as well? Is it figurines? Do you... d‐do you wanna see my figurine collection? A‐and maybe I can look at your collection as well... i‐if you want to."

"Your giving this to me? T‐that's— A‐are you sure? I... t‐thank you..."

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🐲 Malleus isn't one to collect things, but he's certainly up to observe them. He needs nothing more than the gargoyles perched atop Night Raven College. He doesn't mind letting you indulge in your silly little human pastime.

🐲 Humans are so strange, Malleus doesn't think he'll ever understand them, but Lilia has a collection of human games so he supposes he can't complain. Do show him your collection, he would absolutely love to learn about his dear Child of Man's interests. Out of everything involving your collection, your smile has to be Malleus's favorite part.

🐲 In Mr. Draconia's case, I think a collection of dried & pressed plants would suit you best. While he definitely doesn't get why you would go out of the way to press and dry plants when they're right outside, he kind of likes it. Often, Malleus will have plants from the Valley of Thorns brought to him so he can gift them to you.

🐲 A gift? For him? Malleus would be absolutely delighted if you gave him a gift let alone one of your silly little human trinkets. He'd keep whatever item you ended up giving him in an ornate glass case and would never move it from there. When he can't see you, Malleus will gently open the glass case and observe the item for a while.

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"Ah... such interesting items that you've procured here, dear Child of Man. I wonder... would you like to observe my favorite gargoyles with me tonight."

"Oh? For me? My, my~ aren't you thoughtful, Child of Man. Perhaps I should return the favor..."

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Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Hello Nicholas!

I hope this isn't a weird question, but I saw in one of your posts that you used to be in a huge amount of debt and now you're living more comfortably- how did you manage to get out of debt? I feel like every time I start even trying to figure out where to start, it's just all too big to ever get out from under. Do you have any advice for me?

Hope you have a great day!

Hey there! Yes, from about 2007-2010 (before I transitioned), I was making less than $10k/year. I defaulted on all my credit cards, exhausted my retirement, and nearly lost my house. It sucked, and in 2024, I'm finally start to feel somewhat secure. What I learned (assuming living in the US, I also did not have student loan debt):

I had to first figure out the sources of my debt. A big chunk of it was because of bad spending habits due to mental illness (hoarding + retail therapy when I was dysphoric/depressed). Another chunk was from being in an abusive friendship. Another, from being unemployed. And the last, was general capitalism (this was during the housing crisis.)

I started working on improving myself to curb behaviors that led to debt. I started working on my hoarding. I started transition to improve my mental health (had to sell some stuff to afford HRT). It took until 2015 to ditch my abuser, alas.

I started working on new job skills. I swallowed my pride and got an office job after a failed 3-year stint at freelancing. It was shitty, but enough to take care of my income emergencies -- keeping my house out of foreclosure. I got a better job 8 months later. It also sucked and I was in it for 7 years, but eventually changed industries and that's when my career took off. Because with each new job, I've gotten better and better pay.

I started using budgeting software. YNAB is my favorite. I try to account for every single dollar I have.

I started spending smarter. Food was the expense I had the most control over. I went to the salvage grocery store (you can find non-expired stuff if you hunt) and bought the "ugly" produce 1 day away from rotting from the local markets. I actually managed to eat well once I found these grocery stores, and my food bill became a fraction of what it'd been at typical grocery stores. I do wish that I had given food pantries a shot, but I was in denial about my poverty at the time.

I sold a ton of useless crap. I got rid of a good chunk of my nerd "collectibles". I only miss a few things over a decade later.

I negotiated with my debt collectors. I managed to set up payment plans with my credit card companies, condo association, and the IRS. I also did a debt consolidation loan once I qualified and was sure I could commit to the monthly payments. It forced me to be super strict about my budget and for about 5 years I didn't buy much for myself. It sucked, but I cleared a bunch of debt that way.

I got help from my family. I was embarrassed to tell my family about my predicament, but it became impossible to hide. I got help cleaning out my hoard and my mother has gracefully given me generous cash gifts every now and then. Never enough to be life-changing, but enough to give me a mental breather.

I played the credit score game. This one seems counter-intuitive, and requires some self-control about not abusing credit cards. Many people recommend the "snowball" method for paying off cards (pay off your lowest debt asap, then go to the next one), but I went with a "credit utilization" method (bring my highest used cards down to the next utilization level, then move to other cards) so I would see immediate changes in my credit score. What is credit card utilization? It's the percentage of how much of your credit card you're using. A card with a $1,000 limit and $100 on it = 10% utilization. Your credit score changes when you cross the following thresholds: 90%, 70%, 50%, 30%, 10%. Once my credit score started going up past 400 (especially as defaults started falling away), I applied for a secured card. As I started using that better, I applied for a few more cards, then for credit line increases every 6 months. My car insurance rates were tied to my credit score, so as soon as that improved, I switched companies and saved money there.

Mistakes I made:

Being in denial that I was poor. I didn't really look for resources on how to live while in poverty. This hurt me a lot because I ended up neglecting myself out of pride, which made my situation even worse.

Payday loans. I got stuck in the payday cycle for about 8 years. I wish I had sold more stuff or asked family for money to have never needed that initial loan. Once you are in the cycle, it becomes very difficult to get out.

Not going to a food bank.

Not asking for help sooner. And not just financial help.

Not getting out of abusive situations sooner. This is hard, and I sympathize with anyone in a similar position. But if you think it's time to move on, trust your gut - don't sacrifice yourself for people who don't care about you.

Ignoring debt collectors, because I was too afraid to negotiate for a plan. The IRS was so patient with me in the end, even after defaulting twice on plans.

Not considering getting a roommate to reduce costs, or not thinking of doing more things like shared meals with my fellow poor friends. Again, denial and pride. Humility is not a bad word and I wished I had learned it sooner.

Not changing jobs sooner. Curbing my hoarding and getting a better job are responsible for about 90% of me being where I am financially today.

Getting out of debt is a marathon. It took over a decade for me, and I am *still* feeling the sting of poverty. I wish you the best of luck. Folks are welcome to tack on specific tricks and strategies -- this is just a general outline of my particular journey.

[annashafransky]

Yes, yes, it's the "unpopular opinion" section again. This time we'll be talking about a character called Satine Kryze and her views and politics accordingly (and her sister, Bo Katan, will also be touched upon a little)

(sigh) where to even begin..? you know what, I won't... she's just awful. Seriously, in her selfishness and hypocritical stubbornness, she's the "illegitimate child" of Star Butterfly from "Star vs. the Forces of Evil" and Rose Quartz from the "Stevin Universe". The worst character in the already mediocre TCW. Unreal crap...

Okay, I'm kidding, of course I'll write everything out in detail. Let's start from the very beginning. As I already said in my post about Ahsoka, the problem with all of Filoni's "strong female characters" is that they are smug boors. Of all of them, Satine is the worst of the worst, since she takes it to such an absolute... She is rude, self-confident, treats almost everyone as if everyone around her owes her, has the audacity to be rude to everyone around her (including Obi-Wan, whom she supposedly "loves", although this is more of a limerence, nothing more) and absolutely does not understand the word "no". Until her death, she denied her mistakes and looked for excuses for her problems, not admitting them properly, blaming anyone but herself.

On the one hand, it seemed like her mission was quite noble - to improve the reputation of the Mandalorians in the galaxy and stop the fratricidal war. But the way she did it... In essence, she abolished the entire culture of the people, right down to the language, which is the basis of any culture as such, abandoned the army altogether and turned Mandalore into a "banana republic" of the Republic, which, by the way, was to blame for the beginning of the civil wars on Mandalore. This is not some kind of idealistic pacifism, this is called collaborationism ... she also abnormally ignores the threat of the Death Watch, which terrorizes her people and introduces only a useless police, and if they are caught, then only exiled (and when she says "warriors", it is not only terrorists who are exiled, but also those who simply did not want to give up their weapons). You have terrorists operating in your country! Stop pressuring ordinary Mandalorians who simply love their culture and own weapons, but are not radicals and do not dream of a Mandalorian empire. Finally create a counter-terrorism unit and kill off the entire Death Watch, like Russia in the 2000s cleaned out all the Ichkerians who were guilty of the deaths of a bunch of innocent people. But Satine doesn't really need this, she doesn't care about her people, she is only interested in her ego and only her position in power (you will understand why later).

Let's continue about the "banana republic" in terms of its role in the Republic and the galaxy. Satine created a reputation for Mandalore as pathetic, defenseless creatures who would not really resist if attacked. And I will remind you that the world of the Far, Far Away Galaxy is not a "world of pink ponies". The story from the first episode with Naboo proves that if some cartel makes an army of even the cheapest droids, then they will enslave a planet that does not have its own army in literally a day (Naboo was just lucky that they had Gungans for maneuver). And considering how many criminal syndicates there are in the galaxy, Mandalore, which by the way is located at a strategically important point, becomes a tasty morsel for attack. Even if the planet is a desert, there are the same people who are a very valuable commodity for slave traders. Well, okay, let's say there is the same Alderaan as an example of a prosperous peaceful planet. But it was in the Republic and on its side until its transformation into the Empire and did not refuse the help and protection of the Republic. I'm sure Satine did the same, right?) Right? ... Of course not! She is so special and Mandalore is actually independent and does not owe anything to anyone (although this is more about Satine herself). She declares neutrality during the war in the galaxy, while on her planet there are terrorists, from whom she was never able to get rid of DURING 20 YEARS OF HER REIGN! And the same Palpatine, oddly enough, said ... the right things about the fact that they say "you have problems on Mandalore, let the Republic help." But Satine can't openly admit her problem, otherwise it will hit her ego, and she brazenly lies that everything is fine with them and they will cope with everything themselves, and the Republic is "violating the "freedom" of Mandalore", which leads to the next point...

After Satine's idiotic decision to actually secede from the Republic, "sanctions" are imposed by the latter, as a result of which supplies to Mandalore are disrupted, which is why EVEN the children of the nobility began to starve, but when the parody of Padme (I can't call her anything else in this cartoon. Of all the characters from the prequels, she was disfigured the most) flies in to help, although she is not obliged to do this, Satine once again smugly insults Padme by saying that it is the Republic that is to blame for everything. Not she herself, but the republic, which she refused cooperation from her planet, yeahhhhh!.... Also, despite the so-called famine, it is not clear that Satine herself is not clearly in poverty, actually arranging a "Feast during the Plague", arranging a banquet with food for Padme surrounded by expensive art objects, which shows how she is cut off from her people, whom she supposedly protects so much according to Gilroy, in general... If the scriptwriters wanted to show how she loves her people, then they could have shown how she, on the contrary, refuses a banquet in connection with solidarity with the population, and they could also have shown how she is trying to sell art objects to get money for her population. As King Julian from the animated series "The Penguins of Madagascar" said: "To be a monarch is to sacrifice for the people" (although he used it not quite correctly there 😁). But we have what we have. Moreover, Prime Minister Almek, who, although he established supplies through the black market, did at least something and also received money from the black market under the pretext of building a new hospital, is portrayed by Satine as a corrupt official, although, unlike Satine, we were not shown his countless wealth. Yes, of course, he wanted to torture children and almost killed Satine, but he is not being jailed for this at all, but for alleged corruption. Of course, then it will look less selfish for Satin's reputation 😒💅

before the culmination of her reign, I would like to add one more point to her hypocrisy. She scolds the Jedi for having weapons, but she does not deny herself and her "party" with personal security weapons (and ordinary people apparently do not deserve protection). But at the same time, the Jedi are bad, although they mainly use weapons for protection and, in fact, they had no choice and had to become generals, although they tried with all their might to avoid it, and she "stands on a light background and all in white, which means she is good 👌". However, despite her dissatisfaction with both the Jedi and the Republic and believes that she owes them nothing, for some reason she is not embarrassed to ask them for help. "She gets everything, and others get nothing." She settled in comfortably, nothing to say...

And so, after all the mischief that Satine has caused on Mandalore, leaving the planet absolutely defenseless from external and internal threats, falling out with almost everyone because of her personal egocentric concept of pacifism, and depriving Mandalore of any supplies, the culmination of her reign occurs. Death Watch stages an attack on Mandalore by criminal gangs. People are terrified and panicked, asking Satine for help. What does our dear and beloved pacifist suggest? Basically, just endure the words "they are ONLY bandits." So what if they rob. So what if they maim or kill. So what if they sell her into slavery... it won't affect her... After which Death Watch itself appears, saying the right things about how Satine's policy is truly idiotic and has made Mandalore defenseless and flawed. And Satine has nothing to say to that. All she can do is hiss angrily that they set it all up (although she can't know that a priori). She really has nothing to say, while Death Watch saves people. It even seems to me that people already knew that it was a setup, but they were so fed up with Satine that they accepted Death Watch as a government. And by the way, both Death Watch and almost ALL the people of Mandalore who followed the watch have reasons to be angry at Satine and the "new Mandalorians"... it's spineless and toothless politics, in addition to the destruction of culture, that brought them to this, after which the people essentially recognize Pre Vizla as a new government. They weren't forced at gunpoint, they themselves chose Death Watch, essentially democratically.

And so, finally, Satine was thrown into prison. On her side, essentially only her relatives remained. More on this in detail. Pre Vizla is killed by Darth Maul and Maul becomes the new LEGITIMATE ruler of Mandalore, which is recognized by Vizla himself and almost the entire rest of the Death Watch. Only Bo Katan and her lackeys disagree with this, who for some reason suddenly forgot about their traditions, to which they were supposedly so faithful and eventually escape. She and her nephew free Satine, who, by the way, is no longer against the fact that the guard of her cell was supposedly killed and that she is escaping and is ready to call the Republic for help in overthrowing the LEGITIMATELY ELECTED RULER, which essentially means that she is no longer against a civil war on the planet, which she so allegedly wanted to avoid. As I already said, she doesn’t really care about Mandalore or people. Her pacifism and devotion to it disappears when it comes to her personally. Just like Ahsoka, who is only good when she is in control of the situation, Satine is a pacifist when she is the ruler. And the people are no longer "the same" for her, since they did not choose her as the ruler. If she were a real pacifist and cared about her people, she would have refused to call the Republic and especially to run away in order to prevent a new fratricidal war... By the way, this is indicated by her obvious lie in the message to Obi-Wan "my people were destroyed"

I will give examples from our world about how pacifism could look normal on Mandalore, so that it could afford to refuse help from the Republic. There is such a country in Eastern Europe, the Republic of Belarus. A country with a very difficult past, having survived a civil war and the Second World War in the 20th century. But at the same time, the Belarusians themselves are pacifists, even their anthem begins like this: "We, Belarusians, are peaceful people." However, they have their own army for self-defense, and recently they also received self-defense from Russia in the form of nuclear weapons. This country can afford pacifism. "If you want peace, prepare for war," this is what you can say about viable pacifism. And if the creators wanted to portray Satine as a good ruler who was unjustly overthrown, then her pacifism should have been exactly like that, and she herself would have been overthrown through an "orange revolution" through a SPECIALLY TUNED PART of the population. (Although, who am I kidding. Such a low that they would never show in an American cartoon😒)

I will also give an example from our world of a person who did not agree with the new government of his country, but refused to kill his people after the change of power. During the civil war in Russia there were two main sides - the Whites (monarchists) and the Reds (communists). As we all know, the Reds won in the end. And during the civil war there was a White General - Anton Denikin. After the revolution, he fled to France. And so, France was occupied by the Third Reich, and Denikin was offered to become the leader of the Russian collaborators who would fight on the side of the Reich against the Soviet Union (Vlasov eventually became their leader). And he voluntarily refused this, saying that he would not kill his people, even if he did not agree with their government. Denikin really loved his people. But Satine did not, she is essentially not against a new civil war....

To sum it up: Satine is neither a good ruler nor a good person. She is not Mahatma Gandhi, as Gilroy calls her. In terms of real-world rulers, she is rather something between Nicholas II (the last emperor of the Russian Empire) and Reza Pahlavi (the last Shah of Iran). Only if those two at least loved their loved ones, then Satine is terrible even in this. She regularly insults Obi-Wan and his essence of a Jedi, treats him almost like the lowest servant, although it is stated on the same Wookieepedia that she supposedly respects his essence of being a Jedi (another wishful thinking on the part of Filoni's audience), but at the same time, if she is in danger, then "oh, Obi-Wan, save me." Yes, even dying, her confession does not look like a way to say "goodbye", but like some kind of selfish attempt to make others remember her through pain, since in the cartoon she had already confessed her love... Yes, this is the most disgusting "love" story that I can remember, on par with the relationship between Sakura and Sasuke from the anime "Naruto" (both there and there it is not love, but limerence). And if we consider Obi-Wan and his development simply through the fact that he supposedly loved her without taking into account her character and all that (although this is more likely an attachment without love), then everything is bad here even from the point of view of the mythological path of Joseph Campbell, since the show simply deprives the characters of the choice that is so important in mythology. He did not "let go of Satine and became a proper Jedi", as all sorts of people write. If he had let her go, he would have taken responsibility for going after her (which he clearly did not do) since he was not punished for violating the order, and would not have looked for any excuses in the spirit of "centuries-old treaties between the Republic and the Mandalore" and would not have justified himself later about his duty and the council's disapproval, although it is a simple fear of responsibility and meeting Darth Maul in connection with his attachment that makes the character not strong, but cowardly and weak... and don't write an excuse about "blind revenge". In the case of the same Qui Gon, it was righteous anger, especially since Maul is a Sith, whom the Jedi MUST destroy and the laws of the Republic do not prevent them from doing so (Anakin had blind revenge when he killed not only those Tuskens who killed his mother, but also innocent women and children. That's blind revenge).The writers could have even done a whole arc of correction so that the character didn't seem cowardly, but what do you expect from a mediocre children's cartoon that didn't understand the prequels at all? And even in front of Anakin, he didn’t admit his affection in any way, although judging by TCW, he knew about Anakin and Padme’s relationship and therefore didn’t help in any way(only hypocritically dropping "I had feelings for Satine" (although, as I wrote in one of my posts, the joke of why Anakin went to Yoda for advice in the third episode was that he knew that Obi-Wan did not have the same thing that Anakin had with Padme. Another disregard for the prequels from Filoni, "thank you").So this is precisely cowardice. In essence, "White Darth Vader". Such an Obi-Wan would never have taken Anakin as an apprentice...

The funniest thing is that the same Padme in the first episode, where she is 14 and clearly has not ruled for long, is much more mature and cares about her people and without any "tragic backstories🤤", unlike Satine, who miraculously ruled for 20 years and who should have already taken off her rose-colored glasses during this time.... Although, in TCW, Padme was also quite disfigured, but that's a separate conversation... in short, to be continued

[coyoxxtl]

My dislike for Haytham isn’t petty little fandom drama I start for no reason. I know most of y’all will think that but understand, we play a video game about REAL events. ac3 is historical fiction with political intrigue centered around a native protagonist, and him being native is integral to the story. there were REAL people who lived those same events and REAL people who experienced the fallout. we aren’t having useless wank about steven universe characters, there is weight to the discussions held about ac3. and the opinions you have about the politics, events, and characters reflect where you may stand about the same issues in real life. This is not a story I care about memeifying or to be fandom brained about. Haytham and Ratonhnhaké:ton may be fictional people but their conflicts, values, and beliefs are based in reality, a reality a bunch of real living people have been/continue to be affected by. So yea, you will be confronted you if you’re acting like a jackass about stories and characters like this.

I was in this fandom for a long time, I followed ac3 since the literal beginning. it’s so ingrained in me that I still talk about it even when I have since moved on from it. but Inremember being a teen and being so excited for this game because of Ratonhnhaké:ton specifically. he was an incredibly exciting character to look forward to as a mestizo (mixed spanish&native), and I know for a fact I wasn’t the only one. He was so, so fucking important for people like me. and Ubisoft knew it because they advertised the hell out of him, the promos, the sneak peaks into the game development showing how hard they’re worked to be as accurate as possible, it was all made so we can be excited for Ratonhnhaké:ton. We were getting a native protagonist who was raised in his village, spoke his native language, his main conflict ties directly into his native identity. We never see this come out of the video game industry.

but you start the game and you have to play Haytham for like 2 hours before you even get to Ratonhnhaké:ton. weird choice to make you wait that long to start a main story. keep playing and the narrative is being Weirdly sympathetic to the violent colonizing Templars, trying to make the seem “morally grey” which is…A Choice, when you remember what this game was supposed to be about and how it wasn’t something they did in the Ezio trilogy, Templars were established bad guys in every game but the first. Bringing back the nuances of the assassin vs templar conflict was Not the move when your assassins are native and black and templars are all white.

And worst of all, when you look into what the fandom was/is saying, it’s wall to wall bad faith opinions and straight up racism towards Ratonhnhaké:ton, along with how much Haytham is ADORED by the vocal majority, to the point most people wanted the game to be about him instead. People talked about and made more content about Haytham more than Ratonhnhaké:ton, calling him the real good guy, even though he was a backstabbing colonizer. And since this is a game that was supposed to be about a native man getting backstabbed by colonizers, I really fucking hated seeing it. I hated how this game that made me excited to see representation turned into everyone ignoring that immediately and focusing on the main white guy.

not to mention the Forsaken novel, when that came out, it wasn’t even about Ratonhnhaké:ton despite him being on the cover. Just more Haytham crap again but written much shittier. Then ac rogue came out, just more excuses to keep cranking out “templars are good actually” content to put Haytham into shit, even if it meant retconning so much of the og story. at this point ubi and the fanbase already favor him. Seriously, compare all the content and cameos Haytham got to Ratonhnhaké:ton. Ubi has no issue using Ratonhnhaké:ton for marketing but when it came to giving him the spotlight in his own story and dedicated time period they can’t even bother. He just became an accessory to Haytham to make us feel bad about him.

Like I don’t hate Haytham for no reason. In fact I enjoy his role in the original narrative because there’s a lot to discuss and analyze with him. but I played ac3 because I wanted to play a native story. but it was sabotaged to make room for a character that had no business getting that attention. It showed me the realities of “representation” done by corporations and how it will never be authentic or in the best interests of who they’re representing. Because as soon as enough white people complain they will abandon it in a heartbeat. Haytham’s favoritism in both the fandom and by Ubisoft is racism, plain and simple. And many of you need to come to terms with that.

[romanoffs-widow]

Sorry for everything

Sum: Nat takes out her anger on you after a stressful couple of weeks.

Warnings ⚠️ : Shouting, arguing, and split up?

A/N: Thank you very much to @bobisek96 for requesting this fic, I hope it's okay 😭 and tysm to everyone for all the love on my (not actually first) first fic! I appreciate you all sm ❤️

(I promise there is eventual fluff 😅)

Happy reading! 😊

NATASHA POV:

Everyone thinks being an Avenger is so easy. All you gotta do is a couple of fights and interviews, and that's it, right? Wrong. These last couple of weeks have had me exhausted and honestly drained.

Steve and Tony keep arguing about useless crap, Lena accidentally stained the couch with red wine and didn't even tell me, so I sat in it and stained my favourite sweatpants and I've had to do 6 different interviews because Tony had a cold and couldn't do them, and on top of all that, Morgan has clung to me like a magnet since her dad has been sick. I love kids, and I really do, but not when I'm exhausted and keep having nightmares, leaving me sleepless almost every other night.

"Hey Natty," she says with that smile I love so much. I don't know what it is, but even y/n/n can't cheer me up today. Too tired to respond, I just give her a nod. Hopefully, she can see I don't want to talk right now.

I went to change into comfier clothes. I feel a pair of hands wrap around my waist. I shrug her off, getting annoyed. "Are you okay, baby?" I roll my eyes as I put my top over my head. "I'm fine." Maybe now she'll get it? "You know if you don't want to talk to me, just say." She says it with a tone that tips me ove rather edge.

"You know what? Maybe I don't want to talk to you. Maybe all I want to do is lay down in our bed and try my very best to relax! I have had such a hard couple weeks, and all you do is bug me because you're a pathetic childish wench that wants my attention all the time! If you knew what I go through every single day as an Avenger, maybe you'd at least try to understand how hard my job is! So please just shut your whiny mouth up and get out. I don't want to see your face EVER AGAIN!"

Y/N POV:

My vision is beyond blurry as I feel the endless stream of tears rolling down my cheeks. My hands are shaking, and anxiety is sitting heavy on top of my chest. "Alright. O-okay." I get up, and without saying anymore, I grab my backpack and start shoving a bunch of clothing into it. I go into the bathroom and grab my toothbrush, as well as the other necessities that belonged to me.

With my bag and arms full with items, I give the redhead one last look. Her face is still red from all the shouting she did as she stared at the floor, in the same spot she'd been in for a couple of minutes. I give her a small nod, sniffling as I close the door. I am fully aware the whole compound heard all of that, and honestly, they should. I don't deserve to be treated like that.

I'm going to miss this place. The past 9 years of my life have been spent living here, getting to know all of the amazing people within. I had so many memories here, one of the first being when Morgan was born. She had a head full of hair and a smile that looked just like her fathers'.

As I walked out of the tower, I went to the first person I could think of. Wanda Maximoff, my best friend of 5 years. She does live in the compound, but she also owns an apartment on the other side of the city for emergencies. She gave me a spare key when she got it. Thankfully, I'd never used it before, so I'd never seen the interior of the four walls.

Memories, good and bad swirls around in my head, as I twist the bronze key into the lock. It took me an hour to get here, with the bus and all. I get settled in, as I know I'll be staying here for a while. I started getting myself a snack when I heard the door swing open. I look at it to see the red magic I'd come to know very well.

"Y/n/n honey? Are you in here?" As soon as I hear her voice, I run over to her, the flow of tears starting up again. "Oh my god, are you okay? She didn't hurt you, did she?" I shake my head, unable to speak. "Oh, my poor baby. I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner. Everyone is out looking for you. I'd better call Pietro and tell him to tell everyone you're safe."

I just hug her tighter. "E-e-even...?" She looks at me with guilt in her eyes. "We all heard what she said to you, and F.R.I.D.A.Y said that you'd left, so we all went looking for you. None of us have heard from her since." By now, I've soaked her hoodie with my never-ending tears.

"Shhhh, it's okay, you're okay." Wanda whispers as she rubs my back to calm me down.

1 MONTH LATER...

I hear a knock at the door. Wanda only left, and she had her own key, so it definitely wasn't her, and i haven't ordered any packages. Deciding i dont care, I go to open it. I see nothing but a white teddy bear holding an envelope sitting on the welcome mat. There is no sign of anyone being here, as the halls are silent. I pick up the toy and bring it inside, closing the door. I go and put it on the counter, taking the red letter from its paws. It had my first initial on the front.

Our place, 2 pm?

- N xx

I roll my eyes. Even if I was very upset with her, she always knew how to make me smile. I check the clock, seeing it's already 1pm, so I decide to start getting ready.

I step into the shop and immediately see Natasha. As I get closer, I can see that she has bags under her eyes, and I see that her knuckles are all red and sore. She's probably been training to get her mind off us. "Hey," She goes to hug me, and I let her. "Hi." She ordered both our favourite drinks.

"How have you been?" I scoff. "What kind of a question is that? My girlfriend of 9 years kicked me out because she was having a rough couple of weeks and hasn't even bothered talking to me for a whole month, and you think I'm okay?" She looks down with guilt filled eyes. "...no. Sorry."

I sip from my cup. "Are you gonna give me some pathetic excuse as for why you made me leave like that, or what?" She nods her head, and takes a Depp breath.

"What I said was really messed up. I shouldn't have called you any of those rude names or said any of that to you. I was having a hard couple of weeks, and I just wanted some quiet. Which I got. But by all means, that's no excuse to take my anger out on you. I don't know if you even want to talk to me anymore after what I did, and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness or anything remotely close but I really am sorry y/n/n. These past 9 years have meant so much to me, and I don't want them to go down the drain because of my stupid actions."

She pauses for a while. Waiting for me to give her some sort of response. "Thank you. I'm sorry for bothering you so much, but it would be very helpful if you communicated how you feel to me, so I know when you need space. I haven't forgiven you. That's going to take a long time, but if you're willing to work on this, so am I. Okay?" She puts her hand on top of mine. "Okay."

6 MONTHS LATER...

Everything had been going actually quite well with y/n, and I. I've been working on my communication, and she's been helping me to recognise when I feel like I need space. She's moved back into the compound, and as of recently, she's started staying in our room again.

"Hey baby." I forgot how much I love her voice. "Hi malysh. Cuddles?" She nods her head and wraps herself around me on the couch. We quickly get sucked into our newfound favourite show, Greys Anatomy. "Meredith really is gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as you!" I say as I give her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm nothing compared to McDreamy." I laugh, knowing she loves Derek too much.

"Sorry...for everything." She turns to look at me with her eyebrows furrowed, abandoning our show. "I know. It's okay." She adjusts herself so she can kiss my lips. "I love you." She snuggled back onto me, sucking back into the show.

[donnerpartyofone]

First I started getting so much spam to my Gmail account that it became unusable; I go in there occasionally and glance around to see if anything "important" jumps out at me, but basically spammers have rendered the email address that they themselves went to the trouble of harvesting totally useless. Now I get so many spam (and/or scam, what's the difference) voicemails that my phone is functionally unusable; there's just no point in trying to keep up with it, I started having the experience of getting new spam messages at the same exact time that I was deleting the last ones, so now I just have to let them pile up and I only listen to voicemail if I happen to specifically notice that I got a desirable call. The degree to which everything is crap now practically forces me to have a Why Fucking Bother attitude about everything, and I have to think this is really bad for my brain. Like it cannot be good to train myself to think that so few things are real or valuable that there's almost no point in even keeping an eye out for something useful.

Because of said damaged brain I'm not positive this is related, but I'm reminded of this specific pro-AI argument I sometimes see that strikes me as particularly disingenuous, the essence of which is: There is already very little way of reliably determining the provenance or authenticity of online content, so it doesn't matter at all if you can't tell the difference between slop and the real thing, and it also doesn't matter if slop achieves an increasing majority, because in any case you shouldn't be so credulous as to assume that ANYTHING you see online is real. Everything is nothing and nothing is everything. We're all trapped in our own subjective realities so nothing matters anyway -- seems to be the logical conclusion of this argument. And that just seems like such a cheap excuse for lazily enabling and/or actively empowering an explosion of unfilterable generative garbage that has changed the situation from one of "Maintain a healthy skepticism about what you see and read," to one of "Everything is fake so who gives a shit about anything, ever, from now on." Like yes, there's been fake-everything since the dawn of photography, but if you're going to pretend that the proportion of what's going on now doesn't matter, I think youre just being an asshole. You're just using any excuse to defend your new favorite toy, and I think you should admit that.

There's probably a name for this rhetorical device that's like when, for instance, people complain that trans athletes are ruining women's sports, but those people don't actually give a shit about women's sports, or women. You're probably thinking of a whole bunch of other examples of this right now. I see this in these online arguments about AI where someone goes "AI is negatively impacting the commercial art industry," and a pro-AI person goes, "That's not even a real problem, if you really cared you'd be complaining about the environmental impact/the impact of bad algorithms on jobs and housing/the polution of real, usable information" etc, which obviously they themselves don't care about or else they wouldn't be using and promoting the offending product. Or like most of the time that I hear someone say that anti-generative art attitudes are ableist, they're not actually a disabled person, or even a person interested in disability. Not that there's NEVER a real disabled person making this argument, but as a member of the general public I hear from them less than from people who are just grabbing at whatever is the most convenient way to stop someone from questioning their favorite thing. And I sometimes wish these guys would stop trying to make all AI critics sound stupid and insensitive, and just cut straight to "Fuck you, I just like it. I don't have a good reason. I know this is causing problems, I just don't give a shit about anything other than my own most immediate experience." But then again that's what we have going on in politics now -- the right has shifted away from even the shallowest most obligatory pretense of civil debate and litigation, which we could previously use to at least slow them down a little, and over to "Yes, we're big stupid evil pieces of shit and we like it that way, so fucking what," and in many ways this has made everything a lot worse.

[rems-writing]

Thar he goes

Pairing: siren!Wooyoung x sailor!reader

Summary: Back on my OUAT bullshit lol

Warning(s): slight mentions of almost drowning, Wooyoung being clingy

Genre: Cracked out fluff

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society

"BRING BACK THE MERMAID!"

"AND WHAT?! YOU'LL WIN HER OVER WITH YOUR RAINBOW KISSES AND UNICORN STICKERS?!"

"MAYBE THAT'S WHAT WE KIND OF FUCKING NEED RIGHT NOW!"

"SHUT UP, YOU USELESS SAILOR!"

Ooh. You had enough of Regina's bullshit. You let go of the rigging and tackled the Evil Queen. Surprised by this, she tried to blast you away with her magic yet you were quicker and smarter. You placed a black leather cuff on her wrist and when she tried to flick her hand, no magic came out.

"HA! MAYBE NOW YOU'LL LEARN THAT ALL MAGIC IS USELESS SO FIGHT ME LIKE A WOMAN, BITCH!"

"WHY YOU - "

Regina tackled you but you sidestepped just in time for the Queen to actually tackle Mary Margaret (Snow White) instead. You cackled at the two women throwing hands at each other until you felt something sharp being pointed at your back. You turned around to see David (Charming) angrily pointing a sword at you.

"YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE! ARE YOU ON REGINA'S SIDE OR OURS?!"

"I'M ON THE SIDE OF LIVING, YOU BASTARD! DON'T POINT THAT THING AT ME!"

"BREAK UP THE FIGHT BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM NOW!"

"LET THE SLAGS HASH IT OUT, YOU WHINY PRINCE! GOD YOU WERE SO MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU WERE ABOUT TO FILLET THAT BITCH!"

"DON'T CALL MY WIFE A SLAG!"

David charged at you and you sidestepped quickly once more, regretting it slightly when he ran into your captain by accident.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL, Y/N?!"

"SORRY, HOOK! WELL... NOT REALLY! YOU DESERVE IT!"

"FOR WHAT?!"

"FOR MAKING ME GO THROUGH THIS CRAP!"

Hook was now charging at you with his sword in his hand. Realizing the 'oh shit i fucked up' moment, you grabbed a rope and swung over to where Emma was trying to keep the Jolly Roger steady.

"EMMA, YOU'RE THE ONLY TOLERABLE ONE AT THE MOMENT SO I'MMA WARN YOU RIGHT NOW! WE'RE HEADING INTO DANGEROUS TERRITORY!"

"WHAT COULD BE MORE DANGEROUS THAN THIS STORM?!"

As if on cue, singing voices could be heard from the depths of the sea. The rest of the group stopped fighting and stood still as the singing voices grew louder and louder. Only you and Emma could resist the singing, which would explain the apprehension on her face as eight men appeared on the boat after a brief flash of lightening passed by.

"SHIT!"

You quickly ran down to the group and your eyes widened when you saw one of them reach out to caress Mary's face with webbed hands.

"HANDS OFF, SCALY MOTHERFUCKERS!"

You shoved him to the side and felt his catlike eyes pierce your soul.

"I'M SORRY! YOU'LL THANK ME LATER!"

You slapped her, then Regina, then David, and finally, your captain. Emma grew shocked as they tried to snap out of it.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!"

"IT WAS EITHER THAT OR THEY ALL DIE FROM EITHER DROWING OR A SINGLE BITE!"

"THEY'RE STILL HERE! WHAT SHOULD WE DO?!"

"PROTECT THEM AS THEY SNAP BACK TO REALITY! I'M GOING WITH THEM!"

"I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO WITH A BUNCH OF SIRENS!"

"JUST TRUST ME!"

With that, you dove off the ship and the sirens followed you in after, almost drowning you in the process when they dove in. The last thing you could recall was a mop of dark hair hovering over your sinking body.

---------------------------------------------------

"Unicorn stickers? Seriously?"

"Yeah. That's exactly what Regina said to Snow."

A high-pitched laugh, followed by other laughs, filled the hollow siren grove while you retold the story of how that mermaid basically caused chaos aboard the ship.

You didn't necessarily drown. You only pretended to drown so you could escape the chaos of those enchanted forest crackheads and your equally stupid captain. You felt scaly arms wrap around you and a chin land on your shoulder and you looked down to see your favorite siren with the witch cackle he emitted earlier.

"Yes, Wooyoung?"

"I want attention."

"But you already have it."

"Well I want more~"

His whines and pout made the other seven sirens groan in annoyance and you hushed them. The siren with the cat eyes then asked something.

"So what will happen once they stop Peter Pan? Will you help them escape Neverland?"

"Perhaps. But they seriously need to work together if the Savior wants to save that son of hers."

"Speaking of which, how did she not know that Neal's real name was Baelfire?"

"San, be for real. Imagine you're on a date in that Land without Magic and a man introduces themself with the name Baelfire. Besides, after going through that portal, he's gotta blend in somehow."

"Ok ok. Lemme follow up with this. How did August, or Pinocchio I should say, know that Neal is Baelfire?"

You thought about that for a moment before shrugging.

"Meh. Don't know, don't care. Anyways, lemme know if that ghastly crew of adult misfits find their way off Neverland so I can help my captain man the Jolly Roger once more. Maybe I'll find a way to get your siren asses to Storybrooke. That Ariel chick did. Might as well give you guys a place to live, right?"

The seven of them cheered while Wooyoung hugged you tightly.

"Thanks, doll." He said affectionately and kissed your cheek.

"No problem, Woo. All within a day's work I suppose."

[sombrathedragon]

Okay so here’s how I imagine that moment would go

Clay:…(nothing’s gonna make Tsunami and the others stop trying to save me. Her bones are shattered, and yet she’s still trying to get me back, because of course she is…but the reality is she’s going to die trying…But I know one way to stop her…her one weakness)…

Clay:(begins laughing) You actually think I’d want to go back to YOU losers?

Tsunami:What?

Mire: Hm?

Clay: I got everything I could want here! Food, Money, Power, and MY people, who I don’t have to watch over constantly!

Clay:All you are are a bunch of morons who did nothing but held me back or have me fight your own battles, all the while you blabbed on and on and on! Tell me, Tsunami, you still waiting on ol’ mommy waiting for ya? Or did your sea monkey brain manage to forget that to

Clay:Though, just in case you STILL don’t get it. I don’t need any of you! I don’t need a half baked funny looking sandwing, a nightwing without any powers, or a giant blue moron riding off my tail! That dumb useless rainwing managed to get a clue, so how about you all do yourselves a favor and take a hike?

Tsunami:(walking up to him) What are you saying!

Clay:(takes one more deep breath, before blowing in Tsunamis face) You’re a useless parasite that’s better off dead

Tsunami:STOP SAYING TH-(before she can get closer, Mire swats her with his tail, with Clay almost reacting to defend her before remembering his facade, clenching his talons to the point of bleeding, and putting on a fake smile before they can notice)

Mire:You heard him, seawing. Now go away before I mail your head to whatever mother he was talking about

Clay:…good work Mire, let’s head back inside, I’m getting sick of looking at them…(begins walking away…when he suddenly hears a familiar shout)

Tsunami, bleeding heavily from where Mire struck her:YOU THINK I’M GONNA BELIEVE ANY OF THAT CRAP?!

I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU SAY, I KNOW YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE CLAY, AND YOU’D NEVER MEAN A WORD OF WHAT YOU JUST SAID.

Tsunami:YOU THINK WE’RE GONNA BE DRIVEN OFF BY SOME STUFF LIKE THAT? DON’T BE STUPID, I CAN HAVE EVERY BONE IN MY BODY SHATTERED AGAIN AND YOU’D BE THE ONE WORRIED MOST ABOUT IT, YOU’D FEEL MORE PAIN FROM IT THAN ANYONE ELSE

Tsunami:THIS ISN’T GONNA BE HOW OUR STORY ENDS, I SWEAR IT ON EVERY MOON, MOUNTAIN, AND KINGDOM, I AIN’T LEAVING TIL I HAVE YOU BY MY SIDE AGAIN

Mire:Ugh, she’s so loud, I should go send her off myself-(Clay grabs him by the arm and shoves him forward)

Clay, hiding his tear filled eyes as he continues moving: Just leave them be…

Man everything you write is a banger !! Love how this scene played out :]

Also I know you said like Sunny would be one of the only ones to see through him but if I was Sunny and I heard Clay call me a ‘half baked funny looking sandwing’ I think it would honestly break me 😭

[seriousfic]

Picard season 3 was at least good enough for me to have a guarded interest in the proposed Star Trek: Legacy, but there's still enough there to give me douche chills. Let's rap about it, shall we?

Seven of Nine should not be out of Starfleet Academy yet. Seven of Nine should not be the first officer of a starship yet. Seven of Nine should definitely not be the captain of the flagship. It was ridiculous enough when Pine!Kirk got command of the Enterprise straight out of the Academy; Star Trek did not need to double down and give Seven the same treatment essentially the moment she filled out the paperwork.

I'm not so enthused with Seven and Raffi's relationship that I want to watch Seven Loves Chachi, sorry, Raffi. Folks, it's just as underdeveloped as Seven and Chakotay, people just like it more because it's two hot chicks.

The whole "our main characters are a thief, a spy, and a pirate!" thing is just too ragtag bunch of misfits. This is Star Trek. Not Guardians of the Galaxy. It should be nerdy NASA astronauts, not guy who plays Metallica while driving a Firebird. Just... no. C'mon.

I realize it's an American ensemble and there's always going to be an element of ragtag bunch of misfits, but usually it comes up naturalistically. Geordi is blind and sees with cybernetic implants, but that's just how he was born--he's still a gifted engineer who went through the Academy and worked his ass off to get the best engineering gig in the fleet. Worf and Data are obviously eclectic additions to the crew, but they're still skilled and highly trained Starfleet officers. In fact, part of the show getting better was removing oddball elements like Wesley Crusher (not trained enough and too immature) and Pulaski (too antagonistic and unprofessional) from the cast.

DS9: Kira and Odo were longstanding members of the Bajoran power structure. It was unconventional for them to be part of a 'Starfleet' crew, but it's not like they were picked up off the street. They were good at their jobs and had been doing them for a long time.

VOY: This is the closest thing to the classic ragtag bunch of misfits, but it's justified in that Voyager was heavily damaged and they had to make do with what crew they could field. And even then, people don't like Neelix because he's... unprofessional and useless.

ENT: Similar straits to VOY where Archer has to make do by recruiting T'Pol and Phlox to round out his crew, but T'Pol is a high-ranking officer in the Vulcan navy and Phlox is a respected physician (I know, but let's not get into that now).

SNW: ...actually, I think pretty much the entire crew is just veteran Starfleet officers who've made it to working on the flagship simply by being very good at their jobs and being unspeakably talented. Hunh. No wonder people like this series.

So, Legacy, the whole "what was Starfleet thinking, putting us in charge of a spaceship! This has to be the kookiest ship in the fleet!" Ugh. No. If Matalas wanted to include Seven, Raffi, and Jack in the cast, fine, but I don't like them being the new Picard/Riker/Data. They really should've kept Shaw around to be a kind of Picard figure who stays on the bridge while Seven beams down and gets into misadventures. Someone who you can buy Starfleet putting in charge. Like General Hammond in SG-1, supporting his guys when they're in the right but reining them in when they're overstepping their bounds.

But I really don't like this Chris Pine, main character syndrome crap where the hero is both the authority who demands that their underlings obey orders AND the renegade who bucks authority on days that end in Y. (Sorry, Chris Pine, you're great, but you know--his take on Kirk.)

[quaranmine]

Photos compromise: move a bunch to your computer

Not really worried about deleting them off my phone—they're already backed up. So moving them to my computer would just be a second backup. Which is fine but not the problem. What I don't like is that I'm dedicating so much storage space to thousands of meaningless things. It also makes it harder to find actually good photos since they're mixed in with all the rest. Many of my albums on my phone are already like "best of xyz" because it's the only way I'd ever be able to find my good photos.

So yeah, it needs to be culled, not just backed up and forgotten about again (which is what I've already been doing for years.) Not to mention my computer needs to keep a fair amount of GB available at all times for photos. You'd be surprised how fast you fill up an 128 GB SD card shooting in jpg + raw. I think I'm working with like 18 GB of photos right now in Lightroom.

Of course, once I complete a cull, I can also back them up for safe-keeping on my external hard drive. But I want to do that with only what I'm keeping.

But anyway your ask has reminded me of a 3rd priority: re-organizing all my files on the computer! I've got the files going back to like 2 laptops ago and I know I am keeping some useless crap from when I was 14.

[sadnesslaughs]

You are a person who covers your counter space in clutter and inadvertently makes a shrine to a long forgotten god who shows up to thank you.

(A response to a writing prompt)

“Utterly beautiful.” A soft voice whispered, watching Dan spill more useless clutter onto his kitchen counter. Dan always subscribed to the philosophy of ‘I’ll clean it up when the mess gets unbearable.’ Underestimating how much of a mess he could tolerate.

The counter was no longer visible under the clumps of old newspapers, empty cereal boxes and an unholy amount of milk cartons. Still, Dan didn’t hesitate to add another newspaper to the pile, even as it rolled off the mountain of waste, dropping onto the floor. When he reached down to grab it, he found himself staring at a set of black toenails, not even noticing the grey woman who had been shadowing him since he entered the room.

Instinctively, he wanted to scream, but the sound got stuck in his throat, causing more of a gagged breath. He remained in his bent position, as if doing so would somehow make the looming presence go away. When it didn’t leave, he moved his head, only for the presence to drop to his level, meeting his gaze.

Crouched before him was a sickly looking woman. One with pale skin, black wavy hair, and a permanent set of purple tear stains running down her angelic cheeks. Despite her grim appearance, her black lips were curled into a smile, collecting the newspaper and offering it to him. “You dropped this.”

Now that scream found its way from his throat, coming out in a cat-like shriek as he snatched the newspaper and rushed back, diving behind his couch for protection. The god, while hurt, understood his shock, cupping her hands in front of her mismatched purple and brown dress, allowing him to freak out.

“How did you get in? I’m calling the cops.” Dan sputtered, though when he stood up, he didn’t reach for his phone, confused by her almost divine appearance. She hadn’t moved since he started freaking out, that being enough to give him second thoughts. “Is this a prank? Oh, if you don’t clean up, a ghost will come and haunt you. Did my sister put you up to this? That noisy brat.”

“No one put me up to this. I came to observe my shrine. It’s beautiful.”

“Shrine? It’s a pile of trash.”

“It’s a pile of discarded items.” She placed her hands on the counter, trying to find a clean spot. After carefully shifting a milk carton, she found somewhere to rest her hands. “I’m Obosa, the goddess of the lost or discarded.”

Dan laughed, unable to believe his sister would go this far to prove a point. “You can cut the crap. A goddess? I get it, my house is a mess. I’ll clean it up, just tell my sister she proved her point. God, she’s just like her mother.”

“Her mother?” The goddess said, even if she knew about the human’s grief, she didn’t want to pry, not unless he mentioned it.

“Well, my mother too. Look, you wouldn’t get it.”

“I’m the goddess of lost and discarded items. Not to sound rude, but I believe I would understand the pain of loss.” She had hoped that didn’t across as rude as it sounded in her head, unable to hide her own frustrations. She had a lot of patience, but having her godly specialty questioned wore down even her patience.

Dan again laughed, this time more condescendingly. He moved over to his shrine and gave it a shove, disrupting the perfectly stacked row of cereal boxes. “Oops, ruined the shrine. Now you can leave.” When Obosa merely gave him a pitying look, he exhaled. “What would a god even know about loss? You can’t lose anything, your gods.”

“That’s not true.” Obosa said, clenching the counter. “I’m sorry for prying. I only wanted to help you. It’s rare I get to actually help people.”

“Isn’t there a bunch of lost people? Surely you can help one of them.” Dan hissed, getting frustrated with himself for even entertaining the idea of this woman being a goddess. “Go help someone else.”

“I can’t!” She shouted, raising her voice in an act that shocked even her. Quickly, she lowered her voice as she continued. “I can only help those who know they're lost. Even in those cases, it’s hard for me to appear without a strong link or shrine. This shrine here allowed me to visit you.”

Dan shook his head, grabbing another milk carton from the fridge. “Alright, cool. Still doesn’t explain how you can understand loss. What? Did you lose your divine horse or something as a kid in an epic tale?” He mocked, sipping from his milk.

Obosa ignored that comment, even if it stung. “No. I lost my sisters. Gods can’t die, they can only stop existing. We had too many gods, so Athila, the goddess of knowledge, suggested only keeping one descendent from each of the gods. The one who had the most power or influence. My father is a minor god, and as such, our gifts weren’t great. Still, he picked me to be his only remaining child, believing the experience would strengthen my powers of loss. I lost all my family that day, as I’ll never forgive my father for choosing me.” She explained, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Dan didn’t know what to say. If this was an actor hired by his sister, they were destined for greater things than standing in his kitchen. Even if he knew how stupid it sounded, he couldn’t help but believe her. “I’m sorry.”

“As am I. Because I believe my grief created the pain that humanity feels when losing someone. My thousand years of grieving, subjected you all to the pain of loss. Without me, you wouldn’t feel pain when those you lost passed.”

“Isn’t pain healthy?”

“Is this healthy?” She asked, gesturing to his kitchen. Before Dan could get defensive, she spoke. “You’re hurting, aren’t you?”

Dan sat the carton down, rubbing his forehead. “I’m fine. Really. It was a year ago. You need to keep pushing forward. Don’t you?”

“You can’t fool me with those words. I’m not going to leave once I hear the lies you tell everyone else. I want the truth. How do you feel? Who did you lose?”

Dan choked up, having to take a moment to compose himself. “My mother. Look, I’m alright. I’ll clean up this mess and everything will be ok.” Like a robot, Dan began pushing aside the waste, trying to find something to throw it into, only to get stopped by Obosa, who held his shoulder.

“You’re not alright. You’re hurting. I know you know that. It’s ok, you can let it out.” She widened her stance, offering him a hug, only for Dan to busy himself with the mess.

“I don’t need to let it out. I’ve cried enough. I need to move past it. That’s what she would want.”

“You need to grieve. Properly. You’re hurting yourself by doing this. How do you feel?”

“FINE. I FEEL FINE. WHAT? CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?” Dan shouted, tossing a cereal box onto the floor. “HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? EMPTY. I JUST WANT HER BACK.” Dan’s face growing hot as the salty tears pooled in his eyes. “How can everyone else move on so easily…”

She pulled Dan towards her; the man letting out an ugly cry as he sobbed into the goddess. She rubbed his back, holding him as he let out his grief. “Losing family is the worst pain imaginable. A severed connection that can never be replaced. A loss of shared blood. You will join with her once again, when it is your time.”

Dan couldn’t remember how long he spent crying, only that the sun was down by the time he pulled himself away from the goddess. “Thank you.” He said, wiping his eyes.

Obosa found a tissue box beneath the pile of items and plucked a tissue from it to give him. “Here. Dry your tears.”

“Thank you. I know I’ve been an ass. My sister was right about everything. I just couldn’t stand it. Seeing her happy, it felt wrong. Like she shouldn’t be moving on with her life. I knew I was wrong.”

“Now you can move forward.” Obosa smiled, waving her hand as the discarded items floated towards her, getting crushed into a small golden ball. “May I keep this as a memory? I want to remember helping you. I may not get more chances to help mortals.” She said, feeling the emotional energy radiating from the ball. The feelings of loss, anger and despair all pulsing within.

“Of course.”

“Thank you. You should also apologize to your sister. I would give anything to have mine back, so please, don’t lose yours.” She said, a sad smiled sitting on her lips as she went to teleport herself back to her realm.

“Wait.” Dan grabbed the edge of her dress, stopping her. “If you ever need someone to talk to. About your grief. Will you come to me? I want to repay you for helping me.”

The goddess paused, her smile becoming more genuine. She took his hand, clasping it within her own. “I promise I’ll come to you.” As a blue light surrounded her, she thought more on the humans offer, and her own feelings of loss. “I think I’ll take you up on that offer someday.” She said, vanishing before his eyes.

[yayforocs]

Tape #6

Click.

“I don’t have a story this time so much as a thing to talk about. It’s a book I’ve got; I brought it with me from home. It’s one of the few things I brought; my wings being another. Got it when I was… let’s see uh- twelve? Eleven? Somewhere in there. Heck, maybe even nine, I don’t know. Around those ages, at some point.”

“…Actually, I think eleven. Eleven sounds right.”

“I said we were a pretty isolated little town, and we were. We always had to go out to other towns; no travelers or merchants or anybody really came through. But there was one time someone came through and was selling all sorts of random stuff. This book was one of the things he was selling. I never saw him, but I’d been off running around that day, anyways. He left awful quick though. Kinda wish he’d stayed a bit, then I could’ve asked him a buncha questions ‘bout the places he’s been ‘n all that.”

“Anyways, I was a kid that liked to run around outside. I liked to be active. Thing was, it also meant I was sticking my nose into everybody else’s business. There was one person, Mr. Trevor, he… wasn’t all that fond of kids running around and being noisy. And me an’ Josiah, the horse kid, we were always running around and being noisy. …Well, when he wasn’t helping out at his parents’ bakery and I wasn’t in Tony’s shop. Playin’ games we made up, just usin’ our imaginations… And I don’t know whether it’s funny or sad that a bunch of ‘em had us in some kind of- of war situation. Play-fighting each other. But it wasn’t- it wasn’t anything that like. That I could use now. We were just kids, y’know? I’m… actually crap at fighting, really fighting up close like that.”

“Like I said, kids runnin’ around and bein’ noisy.”

“So he bought us books. Guess he was trying to get us interested in something quiet. What he didn’t realize was the books he bought were fantasy adventurous stories, and they only gave us more imagination fuel.” A short laugh, clear and happy. “He wasn’t too pleased about that at all. But what could he do, really? He couldn’t exactly take ‘em back, an’ we were so happy he’d gotten ‘em for us that it always managed to at least give him a grin. He may not have liked all the noise we were makin’, but it was pretty obvious he still cared for us.”

“Josiah’s was about a caravan of travelers, having to collect this magical substance to fuel a crystal that protected their town. Mine was about these characters from two communities, one above the surface and one below, that had to team up with each other once monsters suddenly started appearing. They had to travel another dimension of sorts and kill a dragon that was creating the monsters; it was great. Is great. I still read it from time to time.”

“Didn’t get us hooked on books at all. Just gave us more scenarios to act out. Which I suppose was good, it got us play-fighting each other less. And then Tony let me start building stuff, small stuff, and we used those. Once he made sure they were safe to play with, anyways. They were mostly useless bits of junk that never actually had a function, they just looked cool and were good enough to play the part of whatever props we needed them to play. Wasn’t ‘til a while later that the stuff I built actually did stuff.”

“But yeah, I kept that book and re-read it over and over again. It’s weird, I never really wanted to read any other books, ‘cept Josiah’s. We switched books every now and then. I always liked mine better, though.”

“…I’m glad I brought it with me. Somehow over time it just- became one of my favorite possessions. And it’s… something else to remind me of home. Remind me of… bein’ a kid. Carefree ‘n everything. It’s a happy thing, a nice reminder.”

“Hopefully I’ll get to trade books with Josiah again.”

Click.

[agentnico]

Hundreds of Beavers (2024) review

This is cinema.

Plot: A drunken applejack salesman must go from zero to hero and become North America's greatest fur trapper by defeating hundreds of beavers.

Can we just take a moment to appreciate the greatness that is this film’s poster! Very reminiscent of the poster for the 1963 epic comedy It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, it truly encompasses the full scale cartoonish madness of the movie, and honestly is a piece of art in itself. As for the movie itself? Yeah, it’s fricking awesome!

This comes to us from director Mike Cheslik and co-writer Ryland Brickson Cole Tews (by the way holy Moses what a cool name that is!), the pair who gave us the Tews-directed Lake Michigan Monster, a bonkers little indie film that’s a mix of Life Aquatic and The Lighthouse and is immensely entertaining and stupid. What I like about these guys is how they fill their micro-budget productions with so much creativity, humour and visual inventiveness, and it really puts a lot of modern day Hollywood pictures to shame. These guys are great and so when Hundreds of Beavers popped up on my Letterboxd recommendations, it was a no brainer - I had to seek out this movie!

Hundreds of Beavers echoes the structure of video games, especially RPGs. The central character starts out as an absolutely numpty loser, and then as the film progresses he by trial and error improves his craft to become a skilful and talented trapper. This is reminiscent of how in a video game when your first start you’re essentially useless and crap at everything, but as you level up you become an utter boss. Take Resident Evil for example. In the beginning you struggle to defeat a single zombie. Chances are on your first few playthroughs you’ll die like a little b**ch. Talking from experience here, I remember that first village fight in Resident Evil 4! Then by the end you’re drilling through hordes with unlimited ammo and rocket launchers with super high HP and literally nothing can stop you. With Hundreds of Beavers it’s the same. The first part of the film the poor chap can’t even kill a single animal, let alone a beaver. By the end though he’s engaging in an impressive battle of fisticuffs with crowds upon crowds of beavers. I mean, not really a spoiler to say that there are loads of beavers in this film. Not just a hundred, we’re talking thousands!

That brings me to one of the biggest surprises of this film - there’s actually a fully fledged story here. Like yes the narrative exists entirely for the purpose of throwing as many ridiculously nuts slapstick gags in our faces at a rapid speed of a joke every second, but they are held together by a cohesive narrative. The main character Jean Kayak (brought to life by a superbly committed performance from Ryland Brickson Cole Tews, again, love the name) goes through a significant growth throughout the movie, and his mission to get the girl is as timely and charming as ever. I must say it took me about 20 minutes to properly get into the movie, but once I got to the level of whackiness it was going for I was engaged throughout.

So the visuals. Filtered throughout with a surreal black-and-white grainy filter, this plays out like a live-action cartoon in the vain of Looney Tunes or Tom & Jerry. The stylistic choice that really makes this movie so unique is that the overwhelming majority of animals that Jean comes across are played by actors in full sizes costumes. Yep, it’s a bunch furries alright. Smaller animals such as birds and fish appear as little puppets, but all the larger animals are indeed played by actors in suits. You’d expect a gimmick like this to lose steam after a while, however the funny thing about Hundreds of Beavers is that it manages to consistently stay hilarious throughout, and in fact gets progressively crazier as it goes on. The final 20 minutes are truly fantastic, with the creators throwing every creative idea and visual gag they could possibly whip out of their books in your face. This movie could have easily ended up feeling like a stretched out SNL sketch, but luckily the creators share so much ambition to allow this movie to flourish in its endless creativity. Charlie Chaplin would be proud.

Hundreds of Beavers is one of the most creative, inventive and entertaining comedies of the last decade, and I had a smile on my face from start to finish. From the punchy editing, funny music cues, well-timed cutaway gags, goofy costumes or the endlessly creative deaths, this thing has so much unhinged energy it’s unreal. I can see this not being for everyone, but then again silent slapstick comedy nowadays can be definitely classed as an acquired taste, but I truly believe that everyone would find at least some part of this film amusing. In my eyes, this is a comedic marvel. Yeah, f*** those beavers!

Overall score: 9/10

[little-cereal-draws]

Nimona found-family (including Blitzmeyer) camping headcanons

Dr. Blitzmeyer: I'm starting with her because I think she would have the most experience camping. She obviously has camped a lot; her house is covered in things from her travels, and she says that she went over the mountains before. She would have all the fancy gear that's expensive but it's a good investment for her because she gets a lot of use out of it. Is not overly prepared but has definitely made a list of everything she needs and has made sure it's all there. She would be the one supplying materials the others forget because she anticipated to bring extra. She's also the unofficial leader because she's the only one who knows what she's doing. Instructing them how to pitch the tents, how to start a fire, how to cook different meals over a fire that are actually really good, all that stuff. She knows the answer to everything both camping and wildlife related. The only weird part is she makes them take a bunch of precautions (read: rituals) against wood elves or other magical creatures that Ballister and Ambrosius are 90% sure don't work.

Nimona: She loves camping. She only started living indoors relatively recently in her life so being out in the wilderness is nothing new to her. The only reason why she doesn't have the most camping experience is because she wasn't really camping; there was no tent, no fire, no bug spray, etc. She's the only one who's repeatedly enthusiastic about Blitzmeyers twelve-mile dawn hikes and other planned activities lol She'll disappear for a few hours every afternoon and wander around the woods. She also shapeshifts a lot more than in the city; it just feels more natural to have an animal form in the woods. That being said, she will show up to dinner and be like "I already ate. I had a deer" and they're like "??????????" She's generally a lot happier and more relaxed

Ballister: He strikes me as the one that's way overprepared. His bag weighs forty pounds and he can't find the stuff he actually needs in all the other useless crap. Eventually, he usually gives up and asks Blitzmeyer for it. He has never been camping before and doesn't really see the appeal in it. Why would you voluntarily live in a tent when you have a perfectly good house? It's not fun or relaxing, it's stressful; you're exposed to the elements, you might run out of food, you're more vulnerable if someone attacks/robs you, etc. It's very much left over from his days on the streets. He appreciates the nature and has a good time during the day but once the sun sets, he's like "Ok, let's go home." The first day or two would be ok but after that he would be stressed out of his mind and begging to go home.

Ambrosius: He has also never been camping. Because why would you voluntarily live in a tent when you have a perfectly good house (read: mansion)? He would probably have asked to go a few times when he was a kid but was told no and now is super excited it's finally happening. He would want to help with everything but has no idea what he's doing (much to Blitzmeyer's frusteration). If Bal's the one who overpacks, he's the one who underpacks. They set everything up and he just stares at his stuff like "...I forgot a pillow. It didn't occur to me that there wouldn't be pillows here." Then he either has to borrow one from Blitzmeyer or drive a couple hours to the nearest store lol He forgets soap, food, a flashlight, bug spray, and basically everything else that isn’t a sleeping bag and clothes. He has a really great time for a few days but starts to get grumpy the longer it goes on. Once they do get back, he instantly gets in his bed and isolates himself for a day, scrolling on his phone. He enjoys camping but he enjoys his house more lol