#when it's actually just a bunch of useless crap

[reindeersonmytshirt]

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[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Dorm Heads - Reader Has A Collection of Items

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I'm still sick unfortunately, but thankfully my migraine is gone so I decided that I should still write the asks that have been sent in. Fun fact: I have a collection of old keys as well as a collection of quarters and Midori (A×K) and Sanemi (KNY) themed items. —Benny🐰

                                                                                                   

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🌹 I don't see Riddle as the collecting type, so he probably doesn't get the point of having a collection in the first place. He'd just see it as useless clutter or even a bunch of random trash that you keep in your room. It doesn't matter what you collect, he just doesn't get it.

🌹 Now, while Mr. Rosehearts thinks you're hoarding trash like some sort of giant bipedal raccoon, he won't stop you but won't encourage you either. He loves you so he'll let you explore your interests at your own pace... even if he thinks it's weird. If collecting various items makes you happy, Riddle won't stop you, he loves seeing you smile.

🌹 Let's say, in Riddle's part, that you collect standard playing cards of various themes. Ex. Solitaire cards with varying seasonal and holiday designs. Riddle would most likely ask you why you need so many different packages of cards and would likely try to convince you to use them once and a while since playing cards are to be played with. But if you say no he would drop it.

🌹 If you gift him something from your collection, he wouldn't get it but would accept it anyway because it's a gift from you. Riddle would probably put it on a shelf in his room or pin it to his wall, whatever it is. He'll grab it down and just examine it when he misses you.

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"My Rose... What's all this for? ... A collection? B‐but these are— ah... nevermind, what a... uhm lovely collection you have here..."

"Oh! This one is for me? Ah... well, thank you, My Rose."

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🦁 Leona is another person who I don't see as the collecting type, but if he did have a collection I think it would be a collection of different types of pillows. He keeps his collection on his bed and the surrounding floor because there are so many. So, Leona certainly doesn't mind nor care really if you have a collection of items.

🦁 That's not to say that our lion boy doesn't get annoyed when your attention is focused on your collection rather than him. Even if you and Leona were just cuddling and you turn to your collection, you've successfully pissed him off. Good luck getting him to let you go the next time you lay down for a nap with him. He won't. You're stuck now.

🦁 For Mr. Kingscholar's part, let's say you collect little carved wooden figures. Ex. Animals, plants, monuments, etc. Leona found out about your collection before you told him actually. He was getting comfortable on your bed, ready to lay down for another nap when he felt something hard poking him in the side. And lo and behold, it was a little carved wooden lion no bigger than a chess piece.

🦁 Leona will take whatever you give him not without complaint though, but if you try and take it back he won't give it to you. He most likely makes Ruggie turn whatever you give him into a necklace or a keychain saying that he can carry it with him at all times. On days when he can't see you, Leona will stare at the item you gave him and trace its edges and crevices with a smile on his face.

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"Hah? What's all this crap doin' on your bed? Move it off. I wanna lay down. C'mere Herbivore, I need somethin' soft to lay on."

"Huh? What's this for? Ah... sure whatever, I'll keep so you'll let me sleep already."

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🐙 Azul is an avid collector himself. He most notably collected contracts before his overblot, but he also likes to collect little fossils that he finds on beaches and embankments. Azul is certainly interested in the fact that you have a collection and would love to share his collection with you.

🐙 I'll say it point blank, Azul has 100% definitely tried to suggest selling numerous items in your collection. But he tones it down when you assure him that they're not for sale. He'll bring it up in passing every once in a while though, he's still not giving up. Azul will stop if you tell him to, though.

🐙 For octopus wifey you'll be collecting rocks of all kinds. Ex. Smooth and shiny pebbles to small chunks of gemstones. Azul will also contribute to your collection by gifting you various types of pearls of small pieces of dead coral. He even got you a special box to keep your collection in, isn't he so sweet?

🐙 When you give Azul something from your collection he'll shyly accept it and mutter a cute and quiet little thank you. He'll put it on his desk in his private office in the Monstrou Lounge; he makes sure to slip it into a drawer whenever Floyd comes in though. Whenever Azul is very busy at the lounge and can't see you, he'll glance at it every so often between signing papers.

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"This is quite the collection you've got here, Angel Fish. You know... a few of your little collectibles could go for a hefty sum... No pressure, of course."

"Hm? For me? I... w‐well thank you, Angel Fish."

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🪞 Oh, Vil collects things as well. Jewelry is the item of choice in his case; from antique brooches to new-age hairpins. He doesn't mind that you collect things, but he will be a bit snooty about which items are deemed worthy of being collected. Vil will absolutely eye your collection with disdain if it's something he doesn't like, but he won't say anything.

🪞 Vil finds collecting to be a respectable hobby that any fair gentleman should have, so he certainly supports you. He actually discovered your hobby when he barged in came to your dorm to see you and saw your collection littering the vanity he ordered for you. This kind of annoyed Vil, but he let it go when he saw how happy you were.

🪞 In Mr. Schoenheit's case, I believe a collection of feathers fits the best. Ex. Pheasant feathers, eagle feathers, peacock feathers, etc. Vil doesn't mind your collection but he does think it's a bit unsanitary that you'd pick something up off the ground and keep it, especially something like a feather.

🪞 Vil will accept gifts from you all the time, but sometimes he accepts them and just puts out of sight if he doesn't like it. If you give him an item from your collection, he'll likely pin it to the side of his full length/vanity mirror or sit it on the desk of his vanity. Whenever he's too busy with his acting and modeling career to see you, Vil will take a few glances at it while he's putting on his makeup.

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"Ah... Sweet Potato... What's all this garbage doing cluttering up your vanity? Collection? Wouldn't you rather... oh, I don't know... collect more appealing items per chance."

"Where in the world did you get this? Oh? You're gifting this to me? Well... I suppose I must accept it then..."

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🪲 Kalim has a collection too! He collects anything that catches his interest at the time, so his collection is compiled of all sorts of different things. He is overwhelmingly supportive of you and your collection. Kalim would love to share his collection with you!

🪲 Please! Please, please, please show Kalim your collection, he'll show you his as well, it'll be a nice little bonding experience between the two of you. He'll often give you all sorts of random things he comes across and ask if you'd add it to your collection or make a whole new collection based around it.

🪲 For our adorable sunshine boy, we'll make your collection one of coins. Ex. Coins from different countries, coins that are no longer produced, pressed coins, etc. Kalim finds them all so interesting and always asks about the history surrounding them. He's definitely given you coins from the scorching sands so you can add them to your collection.

🪲 If you give Kalim something from your collection, he's absolutely ecstatic! He probably keeps whatever item you decide to give him in his pocket at all times. When he can't see you, Kalim will reach into his pocket and run his fingers along the item to feel its texture.

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"Woah! These are so cool! Where did you find all this stuff? Do you want to see my collection of cool stuff too? It's in my room! C'mon let's go!"

"Eh? OH! For me! You're so sweet! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I'll give you something too, wait here!"

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💀 Idia obviously has a large collection of his own. He collects anime and video game figures; he even has an entire room in the Ignihyde dorm dedicated to it. Idia's glad you collect things as well, it makes him feel like less of an outcast.

💀 Do you want to see his collection too? Idia is very enthusiastic about sharing his collection with you, which is a lot for him to trust you with, so please say you like it or he might cry. He most likely won't try and contribute anything to your collection or really compliment it all that much, he's far too shy.

💀 In Idia's case I think collecting ornate keys would fit perfectly. Sometimes, when he comes to your room, he'll be distracted by all the different keys that you had and shyly ask you where you found all of them. Idia won't ask all that often, but he tries to do it more since he likes the way you smile when you talk about your interests.

💀 Idia gets so jittery when you gift him things, he thinks he's undeserving so he always ends up with teary eyes. He'll probably keep whatever item you give him in the top drawer of his dresser. Sometimes, when he's too shy to leave his room, Idia will dig through his drawer and clutch it in his hand, running his thumb over it.

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"You collect stuff as well? Is it figurines? Do you... d‐do you wanna see my figurine collection? A‐and maybe I can look at your collection as well... i‐if you want to."

"Your giving this to me? T‐that's— A‐are you sure? I... t‐thank you..."

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🐲 Malleus isn't one to collect things, but he's certainly up to observe them. He needs nothing more than the gargoyles perched atop Night Raven College. He doesn't mind letting you indulge in your silly little human pastime.

🐲 Humans are so strange, Malleus doesn't think he'll ever understand them, but Lilia has a collection of human games so he supposes he can't complain. Do show him your collection, he would absolutely love to learn about his dear Child of Man's interests. Out of everything involving your collection, your smile has to be Malleus's favorite part.

🐲 In Mr. Draconia's case, I think a collection of dried & pressed plants would suit you best. While he definitely doesn't get why you would go out of the way to press and dry plants when they're right outside, he kind of likes it. Often, Malleus will have plants from the Valley of Thorns brought to him so he can gift them to you.

🐲 A gift? For him? Malleus would be absolutely delighted if you gave him a gift let alone one of your silly little human trinkets. He'd keep whatever item you ended up giving him in an ornate glass case and would never move it from there. When he can't see you, Malleus will gently open the glass case and observe the item for a while.

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"Ah... such interesting items that you've procured here, dear Child of Man. I wonder... would you like to observe my favorite gargoyles with me tonight."

"Oh? For me? My, my~ aren't you thoughtful, Child of Man. Perhaps I should return the favor..."

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Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Hello Nicholas!

I hope this isn't a weird question, but I saw in one of your posts that you used to be in a huge amount of debt and now you're living more comfortably- how did you manage to get out of debt? I feel like every time I start even trying to figure out where to start, it's just all too big to ever get out from under. Do you have any advice for me?

Hope you have a great day!

Hey there! Yes, from about 2007-2010 (before I transitioned), I was making less than $10k/year. I defaulted on all my credit cards, exhausted my retirement, and nearly lost my house. It sucked, and in 2024, I'm finally start to feel somewhat secure. What I learned (assuming living in the US, I also did not have student loan debt):

I had to first figure out the sources of my debt. A big chunk of it was because of bad spending habits due to mental illness (hoarding + retail therapy when I was dysphoric/depressed). Another chunk was from being in an abusive friendship. Another, from being unemployed. And the last, was general capitalism (this was during the housing crisis.)

I started working on improving myself to curb behaviors that led to debt. I started working on my hoarding. I started transition to improve my mental health (had to sell some stuff to afford HRT). It took until 2015 to ditch my abuser, alas.

I started working on new job skills. I swallowed my pride and got an office job after a failed 3-year stint at freelancing. It was shitty, but enough to take care of my income emergencies -- keeping my house out of foreclosure. I got a better job 8 months later. It also sucked and I was in it for 7 years, but eventually changed industries and that's when my career took off. Because with each new job, I've gotten better and better pay.

I started using budgeting software. YNAB is my favorite. I try to account for every single dollar I have.

I started spending smarter. Food was the expense I had the most control over. I went to the salvage grocery store (you can find non-expired stuff if you hunt) and bought the "ugly" produce 1 day away from rotting from the local markets. I actually managed to eat well once I found these grocery stores, and my food bill became a fraction of what it'd been at typical grocery stores. I do wish that I had given food pantries a shot, but I was in denial about my poverty at the time.

I sold a ton of useless crap. I got rid of a good chunk of my nerd "collectibles". I only miss a few things over a decade later.

I negotiated with my debt collectors. I managed to set up payment plans with my credit card companies, condo association, and the IRS. I also did a debt consolidation loan once I qualified and was sure I could commit to the monthly payments. It forced me to be super strict about my budget and for about 5 years I didn't buy much for myself. It sucked, but I cleared a bunch of debt that way.

I got help from my family. I was embarrassed to tell my family about my predicament, but it became impossible to hide. I got help cleaning out my hoard and my mother has gracefully given me generous cash gifts every now and then. Never enough to be life-changing, but enough to give me a mental breather.

I played the credit score game. This one seems counter-intuitive, and requires some self-control about not abusing credit cards. Many people recommend the "snowball" method for paying off cards (pay off your lowest debt asap, then go to the next one), but I went with a "credit utilization" method (bring my highest used cards down to the next utilization level, then move to other cards) so I would see immediate changes in my credit score. What is credit card utilization? It's the percentage of how much of your credit card you're using. A card with a $1,000 limit and $100 on it = 10% utilization. Your credit score changes when you cross the following thresholds: 90%, 70%, 50%, 30%, 10%. Once my credit score started going up past 400 (especially as defaults started falling away), I applied for a secured card. As I started using that better, I applied for a few more cards, then for credit line increases every 6 months. My car insurance rates were tied to my credit score, so as soon as that improved, I switched companies and saved money there.

Mistakes I made:

Being in denial that I was poor. I didn't really look for resources on how to live while in poverty. This hurt me a lot because I ended up neglecting myself out of pride, which made my situation even worse.

Payday loans. I got stuck in the payday cycle for about 8 years. I wish I had sold more stuff or asked family for money to have never needed that initial loan. Once you are in the cycle, it becomes very difficult to get out.

Not going to a food bank.

Not asking for help sooner. And not just financial help.

Not getting out of abusive situations sooner. This is hard, and I sympathize with anyone in a similar position. But if you think it's time to move on, trust your gut - don't sacrifice yourself for people who don't care about you.

Ignoring debt collectors, because I was too afraid to negotiate for a plan. The IRS was so patient with me in the end, even after defaulting twice on plans.

Not considering getting a roommate to reduce costs, or not thinking of doing more things like shared meals with my fellow poor friends. Again, denial and pride. Humility is not a bad word and I wished I had learned it sooner.

Not changing jobs sooner. Curbing my hoarding and getting a better job are responsible for about 90% of me being where I am financially today.

Getting out of debt is a marathon. It took over a decade for me, and I am *still* feeling the sting of poverty. I wish you the best of luck. Folks are welcome to tack on specific tricks and strategies -- this is just a general outline of my particular journey.

[ff7-has-taken-me-over]

Soap has a box that sits under his bunk and stays locked at all times. Everyone’s seen it at one point or another but nobody actually knows what’s inside and so they’ve all got their bets on what could be in it.

Gaz said there was a bunch of porn mags in it and got so severely judged for it that he considered changing his bet, but nobody would let him do so.

Price bet that it was family stuff. Pictures, heirlooms maybe some trinkets or what have you from family members (eg. a hair clip from his sister, a cigar from his dad, etc.)

Alejandro said it was different bottles of booze he had picked up from missions, reasoning the man was Scottish so it would make sense.

Rudy had gone the opposite direction and said it was food cause they all knew how much of a foodie Soap was and how severely pissed he got when any of them took his food form the common rooms.

Ghost had shrugged and said it was filled with his old journals since he knew Soap worked through them so fast, and he had never seen what Soap did with old ones anyway.

Soap knows about the bet and he refuses to tell any of them what’s in the box, always deflecting and shrugging whenever he’s asked about it. Because it’s his box of secrets and for once, he doesn’t want to share it with anyone else.

While him not telling is in part due to his own embarrassment it’s also because the box is filled with what the others would consider trash, but they’re special things to him.

It’s filled with trinkets and little bits and bobs from his team members. Different things they picked up during a mission and gave to him or something he had picked up to remember a particular mission for whatever reason.

There’s pretty rocks from Gaz that caught his eye and he just brought with him. They always end up with Soap cause the other man just leaves them in his pockets and forgets about them.

Price gives him snacks and foods from the regions he’s gone on a mission to and Soap keeps the packaging. Cleans it out and keeps them cause he’s a bit of a hoarder like that.

He’s got bullet casings and beer cap lids from missions and nights out with Rudy and Alejandro. No two beer caps are the same cause the two like giving him different alcohols to try and the bullet casings are from the last bullet that ended a mission.

Ghost gives him little vials filled with dirt and he always claims that it’s only because he had picked up too much to fit in his mason jars but Soap knows he does it on purpose. He knows that Ghost picks up his dirt jars and thinks of Soap and getting him some and it’s so heart touching.

It’s also got photos of the team from the ends of missions or night outs and some sketches that he considers too private to leave in his journals. Nothing erotic or anything but things that show the softer moments of their lives or, on occasion, Simon’s face.

So yeah, maybe it is filled with trash and useless crap but it’s his and he doesn’t find any of it to be useless. He loves his little box of trinkets that remind him of times with his team mates, it’s a home away from home for him.

[romanoffs-widow]

Sorry for everything

Sum: Nat takes out her anger on you after a stressful couple of weeks.

Warnings ⚠️ : Shouting, arguing, and split up?

A/N: Thank you very much to @bobisek96 for requesting this fic, I hope it's okay 😭 and tysm to everyone for all the love on my (not actually first) first fic! I appreciate you all sm ❤️

(I promise there is eventual fluff 😅)

Happy reading! 😊

NATASHA POV:

Everyone thinks being an Avenger is so easy. All you gotta do is a couple of fights and interviews, and that's it, right? Wrong. These last couple of weeks have had me exhausted and honestly drained.

Steve and Tony keep arguing about useless crap, Lena accidentally stained the couch with red wine and didn't even tell me, so I sat in it and stained my favourite sweatpants and I've had to do 6 different interviews because Tony had a cold and couldn't do them, and on top of all that, Morgan has clung to me like a magnet since her dad has been sick. I love kids, and I really do, but not when I'm exhausted and keep having nightmares, leaving me sleepless almost every other night.

"Hey Natty," she says with that smile I love so much. I don't know what it is, but even y/n/n can't cheer me up today. Too tired to respond, I just give her a nod. Hopefully, she can see I don't want to talk right now.

I went to change into comfier clothes. I feel a pair of hands wrap around my waist. I shrug her off, getting annoyed. "Are you okay, baby?" I roll my eyes as I put my top over my head. "I'm fine." Maybe now she'll get it? "You know if you don't want to talk to me, just say." She says it with a tone that tips me ove rather edge.

"You know what? Maybe I don't want to talk to you. Maybe all I want to do is lay down in our bed and try my very best to relax! I have had such a hard couple weeks, and all you do is bug me because you're a pathetic childish wench that wants my attention all the time! If you knew what I go through every single day as an Avenger, maybe you'd at least try to understand how hard my job is! So please just shut your whiny mouth up and get out. I don't want to see your face EVER AGAIN!"

Y/N POV:

My vision is beyond blurry as I feel the endless stream of tears rolling down my cheeks. My hands are shaking, and anxiety is sitting heavy on top of my chest. "Alright. O-okay." I get up, and without saying anymore, I grab my backpack and start shoving a bunch of clothing into it. I go into the bathroom and grab my toothbrush, as well as the other necessities that belonged to me.

With my bag and arms full with items, I give the redhead one last look. Her face is still red from all the shouting she did as she stared at the floor, in the same spot she'd been in for a couple of minutes. I give her a small nod, sniffling as I close the door. I am fully aware the whole compound heard all of that, and honestly, they should. I don't deserve to be treated like that.

I'm going to miss this place. The past 9 years of my life have been spent living here, getting to know all of the amazing people within. I had so many memories here, one of the first being when Morgan was born. She had a head full of hair and a smile that looked just like her fathers'.

As I walked out of the tower, I went to the first person I could think of. Wanda Maximoff, my best friend of 5 years. She does live in the compound, but she also owns an apartment on the other side of the city for emergencies. She gave me a spare key when she got it. Thankfully, I'd never used it before, so I'd never seen the interior of the four walls.

Memories, good and bad swirls around in my head, as I twist the bronze key into the lock. It took me an hour to get here, with the bus and all. I get settled in, as I know I'll be staying here for a while. I started getting myself a snack when I heard the door swing open. I look at it to see the red magic I'd come to know very well.

"Y/n/n honey? Are you in here?" As soon as I hear her voice, I run over to her, the flow of tears starting up again. "Oh my god, are you okay? She didn't hurt you, did she?" I shake my head, unable to speak. "Oh, my poor baby. I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner. Everyone is out looking for you. I'd better call Pietro and tell him to tell everyone you're safe."

I just hug her tighter. "E-e-even...?" She looks at me with guilt in her eyes. "We all heard what she said to you, and F.R.I.D.A.Y said that you'd left, so we all went looking for you. None of us have heard from her since." By now, I've soaked her hoodie with my never-ending tears.

"Shhhh, it's okay, you're okay." Wanda whispers as she rubs my back to calm me down.

1 MONTH LATER...

I hear a knock at the door. Wanda only left, and she had her own key, so it definitely wasn't her, and i haven't ordered any packages. Deciding i dont care, I go to open it. I see nothing but a white teddy bear holding an envelope sitting on the welcome mat. There is no sign of anyone being here, as the halls are silent. I pick up the toy and bring it inside, closing the door. I go and put it on the counter, taking the red letter from its paws. It had my first initial on the front.

Our place, 2 pm?

- N xx

I roll my eyes. Even if I was very upset with her, she always knew how to make me smile. I check the clock, seeing it's already 1pm, so I decide to start getting ready.

I step into the shop and immediately see Natasha. As I get closer, I can see that she has bags under her eyes, and I see that her knuckles are all red and sore. She's probably been training to get her mind off us. "Hey," She goes to hug me, and I let her. "Hi." She ordered both our favourite drinks.

"How have you been?" I scoff. "What kind of a question is that? My girlfriend of 9 years kicked me out because she was having a rough couple of weeks and hasn't even bothered talking to me for a whole month, and you think I'm okay?" She looks down with guilt filled eyes. "...no. Sorry."

I sip from my cup. "Are you gonna give me some pathetic excuse as for why you made me leave like that, or what?" She nods her head, and takes a Depp breath.

"What I said was really messed up. I shouldn't have called you any of those rude names or said any of that to you. I was having a hard couple of weeks, and I just wanted some quiet. Which I got. But by all means, that's no excuse to take my anger out on you. I don't know if you even want to talk to me anymore after what I did, and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness or anything remotely close but I really am sorry y/n/n. These past 9 years have meant so much to me, and I don't want them to go down the drain because of my stupid actions."

She pauses for a while. Waiting for me to give her some sort of response. "Thank you. I'm sorry for bothering you so much, but it would be very helpful if you communicated how you feel to me, so I know when you need space. I haven't forgiven you. That's going to take a long time, but if you're willing to work on this, so am I. Okay?" She puts her hand on top of mine. "Okay."

6 MONTHS LATER...

Everything had been going actually quite well with y/n, and I. I've been working on my communication, and she's been helping me to recognise when I feel like I need space. She's moved back into the compound, and as of recently, she's started staying in our room again.

"Hey baby." I forgot how much I love her voice. "Hi malysh. Cuddles?" She nods her head and wraps herself around me on the couch. We quickly get sucked into our newfound favourite show, Greys Anatomy. "Meredith really is gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as you!" I say as I give her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm nothing compared to McDreamy." I laugh, knowing she loves Derek too much.

"Sorry...for everything." She turns to look at me with her eyebrows furrowed, abandoning our show. "I know. It's okay." She adjusts herself so she can kiss my lips. "I love you." She snuggled back onto me, sucking back into the show.

[rems-writing]

Thar he goes

Pairing: siren!Wooyoung x sailor!reader

Summary: Back on my OUAT bullshit lol

Warning(s): slight mentions of almost drowning, Wooyoung being clingy

Genre: Cracked out fluff

Nets: @blossomnet @mirohs-aurora-society

"BRING BACK THE MERMAID!"

"AND WHAT?! YOU'LL WIN HER OVER WITH YOUR RAINBOW KISSES AND UNICORN STICKERS?!"

"MAYBE THAT'S WHAT WE KIND OF FUCKING NEED RIGHT NOW!"

"SHUT UP, YOU USELESS SAILOR!"

Ooh. You had enough of Regina's bullshit. You let go of the rigging and tackled the Evil Queen. Surprised by this, she tried to blast you away with her magic yet you were quicker and smarter. You placed a black leather cuff on her wrist and when she tried to flick her hand, no magic came out.

"HA! MAYBE NOW YOU'LL LEARN THAT ALL MAGIC IS USELESS SO FIGHT ME LIKE A WOMAN, BITCH!"

"WHY YOU - "

Regina tackled you but you sidestepped just in time for the Queen to actually tackle Mary Margaret (Snow White) instead. You cackled at the two women throwing hands at each other until you felt something sharp being pointed at your back. You turned around to see David (Charming) angrily pointing a sword at you.

"YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE! ARE YOU ON REGINA'S SIDE OR OURS?!"

"I'M ON THE SIDE OF LIVING, YOU BASTARD! DON'T POINT THAT THING AT ME!"

"BREAK UP THE FIGHT BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM NOW!"

"LET THE SLAGS HASH IT OUT, YOU WHINY PRINCE! GOD YOU WERE SO MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU WERE ABOUT TO FILLET THAT BITCH!"

"DON'T CALL MY WIFE A SLAG!"

David charged at you and you sidestepped quickly once more, regretting it slightly when he ran into your captain by accident.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL, Y/N?!"

"SORRY, HOOK! WELL... NOT REALLY! YOU DESERVE IT!"

"FOR WHAT?!"

"FOR MAKING ME GO THROUGH THIS CRAP!"

Hook was now charging at you with his sword in his hand. Realizing the 'oh shit i fucked up' moment, you grabbed a rope and swung over to where Emma was trying to keep the Jolly Roger steady.

"EMMA, YOU'RE THE ONLY TOLERABLE ONE AT THE MOMENT SO I'MMA WARN YOU RIGHT NOW! WE'RE HEADING INTO DANGEROUS TERRITORY!"

"WHAT COULD BE MORE DANGEROUS THAN THIS STORM?!"

As if on cue, singing voices could be heard from the depths of the sea. The rest of the group stopped fighting and stood still as the singing voices grew louder and louder. Only you and Emma could resist the singing, which would explain the apprehension on her face as eight men appeared on the boat after a brief flash of lightening passed by.

"SHIT!"

You quickly ran down to the group and your eyes widened when you saw one of them reach out to caress Mary's face with webbed hands.

"HANDS OFF, SCALY MOTHERFUCKERS!"

You shoved him to the side and felt his catlike eyes pierce your soul.

"I'M SORRY! YOU'LL THANK ME LATER!"

You slapped her, then Regina, then David, and finally, your captain. Emma grew shocked as they tried to snap out of it.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!"

"IT WAS EITHER THAT OR THEY ALL DIE FROM EITHER DROWING OR A SINGLE BITE!"

"THEY'RE STILL HERE! WHAT SHOULD WE DO?!"

"PROTECT THEM AS THEY SNAP BACK TO REALITY! I'M GOING WITH THEM!"

"I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO WITH A BUNCH OF SIRENS!"

"JUST TRUST ME!"

With that, you dove off the ship and the sirens followed you in after, almost drowning you in the process when they dove in. The last thing you could recall was a mop of dark hair hovering over your sinking body.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Unicorn stickers? Seriously?"

"Yeah. That's exactly what Regina said to Snow."

A high-pitched laugh, followed by other laughs, filled the hollow siren grove while you retold the story of how that mermaid basically caused chaos aboard the ship.

You didn't necessarily drown. You only pretended to drown so you could escape the chaos of those enchanted forest crackheads and your equally stupid captain. You felt scaly arms wrap around you and a chin land on your shoulder and you looked down to see your favorite siren with the witch cackle he emitted earlier.

"Yes, Wooyoung?"

"I want attention."

"But you already have it."

"Well I want more~"

His whines and pout made the other seven sirens groan in annoyance and you hushed them. The siren with the cat eyes then asked something.

"So what will happen once they stop Peter Pan? Will you help them escape Neverland?"

"Perhaps. But they seriously need to work together if the Savior wants to save that son of hers."

"Speaking of which, how did she not know that Neal's real name was Baelfire?"

"San, be for real. Imagine you're on a date in that Land without Magic and a man introduces themself with the name Baelfire. Besides, after going through that portal, he's gotta blend in somehow."

"Ok ok. Lemme follow up with this. How did August, or Pinocchio I should say, know that Neal is Baelfire?"

You thought about that for a moment before shrugging.

"Meh. Don't know, don't care. Anyways, lemme know if that ghastly crew of adult misfits find their way off Neverland so I can help my captain man the Jolly Roger once more. Maybe I'll find a way to get your siren asses to Storybrooke. That Ariel chick did. Might as well give you guys a place to live, right?"

The seven of them cheered while Wooyoung hugged you tightly.

"Thanks, doll." He said affectionately and kissed your cheek.

"No problem, Woo. All within a day's work I suppose."

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super manga ch.84-86

“Hey, honey, I got the crap beat out of me.”

“Well don’t just stand there!  Go show the baby!”

“Oh yeah, good call.  Hey, son.  I got worked over pretty good.”

Currently, Goku and Vegeta are trying to stop Gas, who became nearly invincible thanks to a wish on the Dragon Balls.  Their only chance is that Bardock once fought Gas before, and as Goku listens to the audio recordings on Bardock’s old scouter, he suddenly has a recollection of his infancy on Planet Vegeta, up to and including the moment when his parents shot him into space. 

That scene is shown in here as well, but I think I like the above page the best, where baby Kakarot was just watching his mom putter around the house throughout the day.  He didn’t see much of his family while he was in the incubation tank, but he saw some, and now he finally remembers it. 

You might think the Bardock audio would be useless, since it didn’t provide any special insights into how to defeat Gas, past or present.  Bardock just hung in there and kept sluggin��� away until he won.  But that’s actually exactly what Goku needed to hear.  As Whis tried to explain to Goku earlier, the key to mastering Ultra Instinct is not to devise some cool new transformation, or to imitate Whis’ angelic calm.  Goku has to be himself so he can find his own path to Ultra Instinct mastery.  Hearing his father’s voice, talking about victory and survival above all else, that reminds Goku of who he is, and who he’s always been. 

And Vegeta needed to hear it too.  He had been trying to use Destruction energy like Beerus, who had advised Vegeta to cast aside his guilt over the sins of the Saiyan people.  Now he’s finally figured out how to do that properly.  Before, he was just acting like he no longer cared about the Saiyans’ crimes.  Now, he finally accepts that their crimes are not his responsibility. 

So when Gas finally returns to Planet Cereal to settle things, he finds Goku and Vegeta are ready for him.  This time, they fight him together, and their Ultra Instinct and Ultra Ego forms are much more focused than before.

Elec tells the Heeters that he expected something like this, and it doesn’t matter that these two power-ups gave Granolah some trouble, since Gas is stronger than Granolah.  But Goku and Vegeta don’t give a fuck.  Screw the odds, they just want to kick some ass. 

Let me skip a bunch of this fight.  I feel bad about doing that, since the action sequences are probably the best feature of Toyotaro’s art.  But I’m here to talk about the plot first and foremost.  Basically, Vegeta sets up a beam struggle with a big Hakai blast, and while Goku pushes it, Vegeta tries to flummox Gas at the same time.  It doesn’t quite work, but Vegeta still manages to hang in there, because Ultra Ego feeds on the damage Gas dishes out.  So it becomes a question of whether Gas can take down Vegeta before he surpasses Gas in power. 

Gas tries to solve that dilemma by killing him all at once, but good luck one-shotting Vegeta.  Of course, eventually Vegeta does fall, because Gas hits like a speeding truck, and Vegeta can only take so much punishment.  But while he’s fighting Gas, it gives Goku a chance to figure out how to optimize his UI.

I should really write about this in a separate post, but it seems like Goku is just sort of inventing a new form specifically for the way he plans to use Ultra Instinct here.  With the silver-haired form, he could use it well, but it only lasted so long, and he had to keep his emotions in check.  Now, he’s using this other version that looks pretty close to his base form, but he can use his turbulent emotions and Ultra Instinct at the same time.  And this freaks Gas out, not because of Goku’s methodology, but because the result has him looking a lot like Bardock did right before he kicked Gas’ ass forty years ago.

To be clear, Goku always looks like Bardock all the time.  The resemblance isn’t what got in Gas’ head.  It’s the confidence Goku found in this moment, where he’s totally in synch with who he is and what he’s trying to do. 

By contrast, Gas had some pride in himself as a warrior, but all he ever does is what Elec tells him to do, in the name of some grander agenda for the Heeters, which I doubt Elec has ever deigned to explain to him.  And that plan involved Gas surrendering his warrior pride to get a boost from the Dragon Balls, so his morale is shot, even if he won’t admit it. 

Sure, Gas may be stronger than Goku... no, wait, maybe he’s not.  As Goku fights, he seems to get just a teeny edge over Gas.  It’s not much, and it won’t last long, but it’s just like Vegeta warned Granolah earlier.  The rankings don’t mean much in the long run.  Strongest, second strongest, it all changes with the weather. 

But then Elec gives Gas another scolding/pep talk, and that reawakens Gas and he starts to fight even harder.  Also his body looks messed up.  Macki and Oil begin to get concerned, even as Gas seems to have Goku on the ropes.

But then Granolah shows up to make the save.  So somehow, Monaito managed to heal all three of them up during the 20 minutes while Gas was away.  That’s not hard to believe, except Monaito kept complaining about how he could heal people very fast, and now he seems to be improving. 

Anyway, Goku agrees to keep Gas busy while Granolah charges up his full power for a single attack.  You know the drill.

Goku has trouble, but fortunately, Vegeta gets a second win and helps buy more time.  Then Oil and Macki try to jump in but Monaito stops them... with the power of hypnotism!  Well, whatever works. 

But it still isn’t quite enough, so then Goku activates his Stand, or whatever that giant Goku thoughtform is supposed to be.  It’s the same thing he used against Moro, so I guess it makes sense.  Anyway, he grabs Gas and chucks him into the sky so Granolah can get a clear shot, and Oatmeel helps him aim, since his eyes are still hurt from before.  The power of teamwork!

Granolah fires, and it looks like one of those classic anime blasts where the bad guy disintegrates into nothing, but instead Gas falls back to the ground, and Granolah explains that he didn’t kill him, because he’s decided to forsake revenge.  Then he apologizes to Goku and Vegeta for the trouble he’s caused them, and it looks like that just about wraps things up....

... or does it?

[frasier-crane-style]

Picard season 3 was at least good enough for me to have a guarded interest in the proposed Star Trek: Legacy, but there's still enough there to give me douche chills. Let's rap about it, shall we?

Seven of Nine should not be out of Starfleet Academy yet. Seven of Nine should not be the first officer of a starship yet. Seven of Nine should definitely not be the captain of the flagship. It was ridiculous enough when Pine!Kirk got command of the Enterprise straight out of the Academy; Star Trek did not need to double down and give Seven the same treatment essentially the moment she filled out the paperwork.

I'm not so enthused with Seven and Raffi's relationship that I want to watch Seven Loves Chachi, sorry, Raffi. Folks, it's just as underdeveloped as Seven and Chakotay, people just like it more because it's two hot chicks.

The whole "our main characters are a thief, a spy, and a pirate!" thing is just too ragtag bunch of misfits. This is Star Trek. Not Guardians of the Galaxy. It should be nerdy NASA astronauts, not guy who plays Metallica while driving a Firebird. Just... no. C'mon.

I realize it's an American ensemble and there's always going to be an element of ragtag bunch of misfits, but usually it comes up naturalistically. Geordi is blind and sees with cybernetic implants, but that's just how he was born--he's still a gifted engineer who went through the Academy and worked his ass off to get the best engineering gig in the fleet. Worf and Data are obviously eclectic additions to the crew, but they're still skilled and highly trained Starfleet officers. In fact, part of the show getting better was removing oddball elements like Wesley Crusher (not trained enough and too immature) and Pulaski (too antagonistic and unprofessional) from the cast.

DS9: Kira and Odo were longstanding members of the Bajoran power structure. It was unconventional for them to be part of a 'Starfleet' crew, but it's not like they were picked up off the street. They were good at their jobs and had been doing them for a long time.

VOY: This is the closest thing to the classic ragtag bunch of misfits, but it's justified in that Voyager was heavily damaged and they had to make do with what crew they could field. And even then, people don't like Neelix because he's... unprofessional and useless.

ENT: Similar straits to VOY where Archer has to make do by recruiting T'Pol and Phlox to round out his crew, but T'Pol is a high-ranking officer in the Vulcan navy and Phlox is a respected physician (I know, but let's not get into that now).

SNW: ...actually, I think pretty much the entire crew is just veteran Starfleet officers who've made it to working on the flagship simply by being very good at their jobs and being unspeakably talented. Hunh. No wonder people like this series.

So, Legacy, the whole "what was Starfleet thinking, putting us in charge of a spaceship! This has to be the kookiest ship in the fleet!" Ugh. No. If Matalas wanted to include Seven, Raffi, and Jack in the cast, fine, but I don't like them being the new Picard/Riker/Data. They really should've kept Shaw around to be a kind of Picard figure who stays on the bridge while Seven beams down and gets into misadventures. Someone who you can buy Starfleet putting in charge. Like General Hammond in SG-1, supporting his guys when they're in the right but reining them in when they're overstepping their bounds.

But I really don't like this Chris Pine, main character syndrome crap where the hero is both the authority who demands that their underlings obey orders AND the renegade who bucks authority on days that end in Y. (Sorry, Chris Pine, you're great, but you know--his take on Kirk.)

[just-a-creep-babe]

You still doing hcs and stuff? If so, how would ej do with an s/o who is (for lack of a better term) stitched together? Like their limbs are all sown on n stuff and can fall off. Feel free not to answer

This was the last request in my inbox, which means I’ll be reopening them soon, so stay tuned!! 

Masterlist: x

Requests are closed but commissions are open!

No matter how many times he sees his s/o’s limbs fall off, he’ll still get a heart attack nearly every. damn. time.

He just can’t help it—it goes against everything he’s ever learned in med school

Limbs, as far as he’s concerned, should stay on the human body

His reactions do improve as he gets more used to it, but there’s almost always that brief moment of panic before he realizes, “oh, that’s right, my s/o’s body kind of just,, does that”

Part of what helps him adjust is seeing how unfazed his s/o is about it

Knowing it doesn’t hurt them & they aren’t worried about permanently losing their limb(s) helps reassure him

Which means that if they’re feeling mischievous & wanna pull a prank on him, they can actually scare the crap out of him by acting like it hurts

He will freak out

His reaction would be so adorable that they’d probably have a hard time keeping a straight face 

And once the act is up, he’ll be so relieved that he won’t be able to get upset

They should expect a very thorough examination afterward though, just so that he can reassure himself that they’re fine 

Part of it will be from leftover worry, but the other part will, admittedly, be a cheeky sort of punishment

You’ve scared him half to death, now you have to sit around patiently while he does a bunch of tests on you uwu

And the next few times after that, he’ll be more worried than usual when a body part pops off

It’s honestly very cute ^^

He’ll be pretty curious about the whole thing, like how it came to be this way and what it’s like to live like that

If they let him, he’d love to semi-regularly do tests & such to figure out the medical theory behind it

Even if his s/o is perfectly capable of doing it themselves, he’ll get very good at sewing

He wants to be able to stitch them back together to show them that he loves them & wants to help

Plus, he’d feel way too useless just standing there & watching them put themselves back together on their own

He’s usually the one patching people up, so he’d feel extra bad not doing it for his precious s/o

It’s honestly adorable to see how much he wants to help, even if they don’t need it <3

It would overall make him extra somft to his beloved mate uwu

[longelk]

I've beat inscryption but kaycees mod is beating my absolute ass! I cannot for the life of me beat it even once!! Give pro strats pls... (also I love your art so so much obviously but I also think it'd be fun to ask you about the game itself if that's ok!!! :,D)

ofc id be happy to talk about the game itself!! dont feel bad about losing to kmod its very hard on purpose because kaycee likes inflicting pain!

first of all, i learned a lot of lifesaving strats/tricks from this little fanmade kmod wiki! it gives pros/cons for each starter deck and goes into detail about how hand manipulation works and stuff, check it out for sure

that said the most important things to do are:

keep a small deck, especially try not to have more than one or two 1-blood cost cards or free cards

have a big damage card that can 1-hit KO leshy on the first turn (5 damage until you get the challenge that starts you off with 1 damage on your side, then this card should do 6 damage)

those rules probably arent as important when youre just starting and the challenges arent too bad, but eventually leshy is gonna pull a bifurcated turkey vulture on his first turn when you turn the heat up down the road so itd be wise to get into the rhythm early. im assuming you only have vanilla deck unlocked, so try buffing the wolf with bifurcated or at a good campfire

you want to keep your deck small so you can reliably pull your win card preferably on the first turn, when you have too much useless crap like pelts or extra 1-blood costs, theyre going to be pulled in your starting hand and you wont be able to do enough damage in time.

its wise to have at least two 1-Hit-KO win cards to prepare for the prospector since he wipes your board after phase one, and having a backup is valuable when you cant trim down your deck enough

try to avoid map nodes that give you cards, and try to aim for map nodes that will take away cards (or otherwise wont give you new ones). use the campfire to try and get rid of cards you dont want, try to fail cave challenges, dont buy pelts from trapper (buy his knife instead if you can), etc. if a campfire doesnt kill your card you can also exit to menu and re-enter the game to have it buff your preferred card instead lol. and if youre forced to pick a cost card, go with 3-blood cost. if youre forced to pick a family card, try to get one that you can fuse with your win card at mycos. again, you can always exit/re-enter start menu to see what your other options are

that said, ive started doing something on my own that i havent seen mentioned anywhere, and its making sure to use an item in battle if backpack is your next node, to prevent yourself from getting packrats from having a full inventory. im sure theres a strat where you can get a bunch of rats to fuse at mycos but it isnt worth it imo

that, and also try to have at least one item that can instantly kill/remove a card from leshy's board before you fight final boss leshy, like the hook, trapper knife, or scissors. ideally you want to kill his moleman so you can use your KO card before he pulls out prospector and wipes your board and things get hairy. there is a guaranteed backpack node before you fight leshy, you can actually exit and re-enter game to make sure you get the item you want if you dont feel bad about it lol (magickal bleach works against the moleman too but you have to unlock this)

getting your KO card is easier once you unlock the Blood deck (its the first you unlock i believe, after 1-2 challenges) cause it gives you a goat and moose! try to buff that moose at least once, maybe give the goat a good sigil like undying, fecundity or hoarder (hoarder can be a lifesaver if your deck is too big, its the sigil magpie has) or otherwise you can sacrifice the mole to the goat at an early sacrifice stone

[sadnesslaughs]

You are a person who covers your counter space in clutter and inadvertently makes a shrine to a long forgotten god who shows up to thank you.

(A response to a writing prompt)

“Utterly beautiful.” A soft voice whispered, watching Dan spill more useless clutter onto his kitchen counter. Dan always subscribed to the philosophy of ‘I’ll clean it up when the mess gets unbearable.’ Underestimating how much of a mess he could tolerate.

The counter was no longer visible under the clumps of old newspapers, empty cereal boxes and an unholy amount of milk cartons. Still, Dan didn’t hesitate to add another newspaper to the pile, even as it rolled off the mountain of waste, dropping onto the floor. When he reached down to grab it, he found himself staring at a set of black toenails, not even noticing the grey woman who had been shadowing him since he entered the room.

Instinctively, he wanted to scream, but the sound got stuck in his throat, causing more of a gagged breath. He remained in his bent position, as if doing so would somehow make the looming presence go away. When it didn’t leave, he moved his head, only for the presence to drop to his level, meeting his gaze.

Crouched before him was a sickly looking woman. One with pale skin, black wavy hair, and a permanent set of purple tear stains running down her angelic cheeks. Despite her grim appearance, her black lips were curled into a smile, collecting the newspaper and offering it to him. “You dropped this.”

Now that scream found its way from his throat, coming out in a cat-like shriek as he snatched the newspaper and rushed back, diving behind his couch for protection. The god, while hurt, understood his shock, cupping her hands in front of her mismatched purple and brown dress, allowing him to freak out.

“How did you get in? I’m calling the cops.” Dan sputtered, though when he stood up, he didn’t reach for his phone, confused by her almost divine appearance. She hadn’t moved since he started freaking out, that being enough to give him second thoughts. “Is this a prank? Oh, if you don’t clean up, a ghost will come and haunt you. Did my sister put you up to this? That noisy brat.”

“No one put me up to this. I came to observe my shrine. It’s beautiful.”

“Shrine? It’s a pile of trash.”

“It’s a pile of discarded items.” She placed her hands on the counter, trying to find a clean spot. After carefully shifting a milk carton, she found somewhere to rest her hands. “I’m Obosa, the goddess of the lost or discarded.”

Dan laughed, unable to believe his sister would go this far to prove a point. “You can cut the crap. A goddess? I get it, my house is a mess. I’ll clean it up, just tell my sister she proved her point. God, she’s just like her mother.”

“Her mother?” The goddess said, even if she knew about the human’s grief, she didn’t want to pry, not unless he mentioned it.

“Well, my mother too. Look, you wouldn’t get it.”

“I’m the goddess of lost and discarded items. Not to sound rude, but I believe I would understand the pain of loss.” She had hoped that didn’t across as rude as it sounded in her head, unable to hide her own frustrations. She had a lot of patience, but having her godly specialty questioned wore down even her patience.

Dan again laughed, this time more condescendingly. He moved over to his shrine and gave it a shove, disrupting the perfectly stacked row of cereal boxes. “Oops, ruined the shrine. Now you can leave.” When Obosa merely gave him a pitying look, he exhaled. “What would a god even know about loss? You can’t lose anything, your gods.”

“That’s not true.” Obosa said, clenching the counter. “I’m sorry for prying. I only wanted to help you. It’s rare I get to actually help people.”

“Isn’t there a bunch of lost people? Surely you can help one of them.” Dan hissed, getting frustrated with himself for even entertaining the idea of this woman being a goddess. “Go help someone else.”

“I can’t!” She shouted, raising her voice in an act that shocked even her. Quickly, she lowered her voice as she continued. “I can only help those who know they're lost. Even in those cases, it’s hard for me to appear without a strong link or shrine. This shrine here allowed me to visit you.”

Dan shook his head, grabbing another milk carton from the fridge. “Alright, cool. Still doesn’t explain how you can understand loss. What? Did you lose your divine horse or something as a kid in an epic tale?” He mocked, sipping from his milk.

Obosa ignored that comment, even if it stung. “No. I lost my sisters. Gods can’t die, they can only stop existing. We had too many gods, so Athila, the goddess of knowledge, suggested only keeping one descendent from each of the gods. The one who had the most power or influence. My father is a minor god, and as such, our gifts weren’t great. Still, he picked me to be his only remaining child, believing the experience would strengthen my powers of loss. I lost all my family that day, as I’ll never forgive my father for choosing me.” She explained, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Dan didn’t know what to say. If this was an actor hired by his sister, they were destined for greater things than standing in his kitchen. Even if he knew how stupid it sounded, he couldn’t help but believe her. “I’m sorry.”

“As am I. Because I believe my grief created the pain that humanity feels when losing someone. My thousand years of grieving, subjected you all to the pain of loss. Without me, you wouldn’t feel pain when those you lost passed.”

“Isn’t pain healthy?”

“Is this healthy?” She asked, gesturing to his kitchen. Before Dan could get defensive, she spoke. “You’re hurting, aren’t you?”

Dan sat the carton down, rubbing his forehead. “I’m fine. Really. It was a year ago. You need to keep pushing forward. Don’t you?”

“You can’t fool me with those words. I’m not going to leave once I hear the lies you tell everyone else. I want the truth. How do you feel? Who did you lose?”

Dan choked up, having to take a moment to compose himself. “My mother. Look, I’m alright. I’ll clean up this mess and everything will be ok.” Like a robot, Dan began pushing aside the waste, trying to find something to throw it into, only to get stopped by Obosa, who held his shoulder.

“You’re not alright. You’re hurting. I know you know that. It’s ok, you can let it out.” She widened her stance, offering him a hug, only for Dan to busy himself with the mess.

“I don’t need to let it out. I’ve cried enough. I need to move past it. That’s what she would want.”

“You need to grieve. Properly. You’re hurting yourself by doing this. How do you feel?”

“FINE. I FEEL FINE. WHAT? CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?” Dan shouted, tossing a cereal box onto the floor. “HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? EMPTY. I JUST WANT HER BACK.” Dan’s face growing hot as the salty tears pooled in his eyes. “How can everyone else move on so easily…”

She pulled Dan towards her; the man letting out an ugly cry as he sobbed into the goddess. She rubbed his back, holding him as he let out his grief. “Losing family is the worst pain imaginable. A severed connection that can never be replaced. A loss of shared blood. You will join with her once again, when it is your time.”

Dan couldn’t remember how long he spent crying, only that the sun was down by the time he pulled himself away from the goddess. “Thank you.” He said, wiping his eyes.

Obosa found a tissue box beneath the pile of items and plucked a tissue from it to give him. “Here. Dry your tears.”

“Thank you. I know I’ve been an ass. My sister was right about everything. I just couldn’t stand it. Seeing her happy, it felt wrong. Like she shouldn’t be moving on with her life. I knew I was wrong.”

“Now you can move forward.” Obosa smiled, waving her hand as the discarded items floated towards her, getting crushed into a small golden ball. “May I keep this as a memory? I want to remember helping you. I may not get more chances to help mortals.” She said, feeling the emotional energy radiating from the ball. The feelings of loss, anger and despair all pulsing within.

“Of course.”

“Thank you. You should also apologize to your sister. I would give anything to have mine back, so please, don’t lose yours.” She said, a sad smiled sitting on her lips as she went to teleport herself back to her realm.

“Wait.” Dan grabbed the edge of her dress, stopping her. “If you ever need someone to talk to. About your grief. Will you come to me? I want to repay you for helping me.”

The goddess paused, her smile becoming more genuine. She took his hand, clasping it within her own. “I promise I’ll come to you.” As a blue light surrounded her, she thought more on the humans offer, and her own feelings of loss. “I think I’ll take you up on that offer someday.” She said, vanishing before his eyes.

[tiffyfoundsomething]

Long Post full of Affiliate Links

So I bought 3x of the new MGA Miniverse UV resin Diner food kits and reviewed them.

https://amzn.to/3Goo2PC

These are the larger kits.

After that I ordered 3x of the smaller Cafe sets.

https://amzn.to/3Goo2PC

And will review them, too, though as a toy collector, not as an adult worried about marketing UV resin to kids.

When the cafe sets are in stock, they cost $6.97 vs the Diner sets at $9.97. They’re also smaller.

There is no table. Some of them come with a little cake stand, though.

I got these three sets and I have to admit, I’m kind of disappointed...

The quality of the pieces is the same, but there’s just not much to do with these. The Diner sets have you arranging items in a dish or on a plate, but the Cafe ones are more like, put the thing, put the resin, done.

At least the three that I got are. The ones with donuts might be more entertaining.

The enormous mason jar coffee made me laugh because it’s not in scale for Barbies like the other food items, but then I looked over at my water jug and.....

Yeah, ok.

I was actually rather put out opening these because there are three layers of plastic outside the shell, the plastic shell, lots of plastic bags inside, and in the cafe latte one there is a tiny plastic straw in a tiny plastic straw wrapper.

There are tweezers/tongs but you don’t need them for these sets. These three are all dump and go.

I chose not to do the cafe latte nor the tropical fruit salad because the cafe latte kit was too boring and I’d rather keep the fruits in the cute little boxes.

That kit could easily be made and remade as long as you don’t add the resin.

Inside the cereal box is a little plastic bag of plastic beads. I did decide to put the cereal together to test whether the resin set properly.

It did. It’s not opaque like milk. I kind of wish I hadn’t bothered, because it looks...

Unpleasant.

But this did get me thinking.

Are these kits worth it to me?

It cost me $53.80 for this:

The cafe sets certainly I feel like weren’t worth the $7. Part of the pull of these is supposed to be an experience in addition to getting a cute toy in the end, but the cafe sets are so simple that there was no experience.

Being someone that’s made a bunch of little resin trinkets over the years, I could spend the same $54 and get enough comparable materials to make these kits many times over with less waste because every item wouldn’t come in it’s own little plastic bag.

And personally, I don’t collect mini food. I collect mini toys.

Compare the price of one of these kits (we’ll round up so $10 and $7) to the price of 5 Surprise Toy Mini Brands, and... Well.

Miniverse for $10 will get you one cute food item that you have to assemble and a bunch of small packaging associated with it plus 5 or so big pieces of paper all folded up, a table, a display case, a bunch of plastic bags, and three layers of outer plastic.

If you’re not keeping all of the empty containers, the bread bag, the pie crust box, the bottles of resin, all the duplicate tongs, etc, you’re throwing away the majority of the kit in the end.

Mini Brands for $7 will give you 5 preassembled minis (sometimes four and one piece of useless crap like a too-small shopping cart, also too small shelving unit, or paper bags) with 2 layers of outer plastic, one collector’s guide, 5 small sheets of plastic, two weird rubbery end caps, and a useless set of plastic wedges.

https://amzn.to/3WU8mdR

https://amzn.to/3IxF3JH

All together this was $27.54 for 15 items and a collector’s case.

BOTH brands are blind packed.

tl:dr is that I won’t personally be buying any more Miniverse food kits, but I am excited for Toy Mini Brands Series 3.

[yayforocs]

Tape #6

Click.

“I don’t have a story this time so much as a thing to talk about. It’s a book I’ve got; I brought it with me from home. It’s one of the few things I brought; my wings being another. Got it when I was… let’s see uh- twelve? Eleven? Somewhere in there. Heck, maybe even nine, I don’t know. Around those ages, at some point.”

“…Actually, I think eleven. Eleven sounds right.”

“I said we were a pretty isolated little town, and we were. We always had to go out to other towns; no travelers or merchants or anybody really came through. But there was one time someone came through and was selling all sorts of random stuff. This book was one of the things he was selling. I never saw him, but I’d been off running around that day, anyways. He left awful quick though. Kinda wish he’d stayed a bit, then I could’ve asked him a buncha questions ‘bout the places he’s been ‘n all that.”

“Anyways, I was a kid that liked to run around outside. I liked to be active. Thing was, it also meant I was sticking my nose into everybody else’s business. There was one person, Mr. Trevor, he… wasn’t all that fond of kids running around and being noisy. And me an’ Josiah, the horse kid, we were always running around and being noisy. …Well, when he wasn’t helping out at his parents’ bakery and I wasn’t in Tony’s shop. Playin’ games we made up, just usin’ our imaginations… And I don’t know whether it’s funny or sad that a bunch of ‘em had us in some kind of- of war situation. Play-fighting each other. But it wasn’t- it wasn’t anything that like. That I could use now. We were just kids, y’know? I’m… actually crap at fighting, really fighting up close like that.”

“Like I said, kids runnin’ around and bein’ noisy.”

“So he bought us books. Guess he was trying to get us interested in something quiet. What he didn’t realize was the books he bought were fantasy adventurous stories, and they only gave us more imagination fuel.” A short laugh, clear and happy. “He wasn’t too pleased about that at all. But what could he do, really? He couldn’t exactly take ‘em back, an’ we were so happy he’d gotten ‘em for us that it always managed to at least give him a grin. He may not have liked all the noise we were makin’, but it was pretty obvious he still cared for us.”

“Josiah’s was about a caravan of travelers, having to collect this magical substance to fuel a crystal that protected their town. Mine was about these characters from two communities, one above the surface and one below, that had to team up with each other once monsters suddenly started appearing. They had to travel another dimension of sorts and kill a dragon that was creating the monsters; it was great. Is great. I still read it from time to time.”

“Didn’t get us hooked on books at all. Just gave us more scenarios to act out. Which I suppose was good, it got us play-fighting each other less. And then Tony let me start building stuff, small stuff, and we used those. Once he made sure they were safe to play with, anyways. They were mostly useless bits of junk that never actually had a function, they just looked cool and were good enough to play the part of whatever props we needed them to play. Wasn’t ‘til a while later that the stuff I built actually did stuff.”

“But yeah, I kept that book and re-read it over and over again. It’s weird, I never really wanted to read any other books, ‘cept Josiah’s. We switched books every now and then. I always liked mine better, though.”

“…I’m glad I brought it with me. Somehow over time it just- became one of my favorite possessions. And it’s… something else to remind me of home. Remind me of… bein’ a kid. Carefree ‘n everything. It’s a happy thing, a nice reminder.”

“Hopefully I’ll get to trade books with Josiah again.”

Click.

[agentnico]

Hundreds of Beavers (2024) review

This is cinema.

Plot: A drunken applejack salesman must go from zero to hero and become North America's greatest fur trapper by defeating hundreds of beavers.

Can we just take a moment to appreciate the greatness that is this film’s poster! Very reminiscent of the poster for the 1963 epic comedy It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, it truly encompasses the full scale cartoonish madness of the movie, and honestly is a piece of art in itself. As for the movie itself? Yeah, it’s fricking awesome!

This comes to us from director Mike Cheslik and co-writer Ryland Brickson Cole Tews (by the way holy Moses what a cool name that is!), the pair who gave us the Tews-directed Lake Michigan Monster, a bonkers little indie film that’s a mix of Life Aquatic and The Lighthouse and is immensely entertaining and stupid. What I like about these guys is how they fill their micro-budget productions with so much creativity, humour and visual inventiveness, and it really puts a lot of modern day Hollywood pictures to shame. These guys are great and so when Hundreds of Beavers popped up on my Letterboxd recommendations, it was a no brainer - I had to seek out this movie!

Hundreds of Beavers echoes the structure of video games, especially RPGs. The central character starts out as an absolutely numpty loser, and then as the film progresses he by trial and error improves his craft to become a skilful and talented trapper. This is reminiscent of how in a video game when your first start you’re essentially useless and crap at everything, but as you level up you become an utter boss. Take Resident Evil for example. In the beginning you struggle to defeat a single zombie. Chances are on your first few playthroughs you’ll die like a little b**ch. Talking from experience here, I remember that first village fight in Resident Evil 4! Then by the end you’re drilling through hordes with unlimited ammo and rocket launchers with super high HP and literally nothing can stop you. With Hundreds of Beavers it’s the same. The first part of the film the poor chap can’t even kill a single animal, let alone a beaver. By the end though he’s engaging in an impressive battle of fisticuffs with crowds upon crowds of beavers. I mean, not really a spoiler to say that there are loads of beavers in this film. Not just a hundred, we’re talking thousands!

That brings me to one of the biggest surprises of this film - there’s actually a fully fledged story here. Like yes the narrative exists entirely for the purpose of throwing as many ridiculously nuts slapstick gags in our faces at a rapid speed of a joke every second, but they are held together by a cohesive narrative. The main character Jean Kayak (brought to life by a superbly committed performance from Ryland Brickson Cole Tews, again, love the name) goes through a significant growth throughout the movie, and his mission to get the girl is as timely and charming as ever. I must say it took me about 20 minutes to properly get into the movie, but once I got to the level of whackiness it was going for I was engaged throughout.

So the visuals. Filtered throughout with a surreal black-and-white grainy filter, this plays out like a live-action cartoon in the vain of Looney Tunes or Tom & Jerry. The stylistic choice that really makes this movie so unique is that the overwhelming majority of animals that Jean comes across are played by actors in full sizes costumes. Yep, it’s a bunch furries alright. Smaller animals such as birds and fish appear as little puppets, but all the larger animals are indeed played by actors in suits. You’d expect a gimmick like this to lose steam after a while, however the funny thing about Hundreds of Beavers is that it manages to consistently stay hilarious throughout, and in fact gets progressively crazier as it goes on. The final 20 minutes are truly fantastic, with the creators throwing every creative idea and visual gag they could possibly whip out of their books in your face. This movie could have easily ended up feeling like a stretched out SNL sketch, but luckily the creators share so much ambition to allow this movie to flourish in its endless creativity. Charlie Chaplin would be proud.

Hundreds of Beavers is one of the most creative, inventive and entertaining comedies of the last decade, and I had a smile on my face from start to finish. From the punchy editing, funny music cues, well-timed cutaway gags, goofy costumes or the endlessly creative deaths, this thing has so much unhinged energy it’s unreal. I can see this not being for everyone, but then again silent slapstick comedy nowadays can be definitely classed as an acquired taste, but I truly believe that everyone would find at least some part of this film amusing. In my eyes, this is a comedic marvel. Yeah, f*** those beavers!

Overall score: 9/10

[little-cereal-draws]

Nimona found-family (including Blitzmeyer) camping headcanons

Dr. Blitzmeyer: I'm starting with her because I think she would have the most experience camping. She obviously has camped a lot; her house is covered in things from her travels, and she says that she went over the mountains before. She would have all the fancy gear that's expensive but it's a good investment for her because she gets a lot of use out of it. Is not overly prepared but has definitely made a list of everything she needs and has made sure it's all there. She would be the one supplying materials the others forget because she anticipated to bring extra. She's also the unofficial leader because she's the only one who knows what she's doing. Instructing them how to pitch the tents, how to start a fire, how to cook different meals over a fire that are actually really good, all that stuff. She knows the answer to everything both camping and wildlife related. The only weird part is she makes them take a bunch of precautions (read: rituals) against wood elves or other magical creatures that Ballister and Ambrosius are 90% sure don't work.

Nimona: She loves camping. She only started living indoors relatively recently in her life so being out in the wilderness is nothing new to her. The only reason why she doesn't have the most camping experience is because she wasn't really camping; there was no tent, no fire, no bug spray, etc. She's the only one who's repeatedly enthusiastic about Blitzmeyers twelve-mile dawn hikes and other planned activities lol She'll disappear for a few hours every afternoon and wander around the woods. She also shapeshifts a lot more than in the city; it just feels more natural to have an animal form in the woods. That being said, she will show up to dinner and be like "I already ate. I had a deer" and they're like "??????????" She's generally a lot happier and more relaxed

Ballister: He strikes me as the one that's way overprepared. His bag weighs forty pounds and he can't find the stuff he actually needs in all the other useless crap. Eventually, he usually gives up and asks Blitzmeyer for it. He has never been camping before and doesn't really see the appeal in it. Why would you voluntarily live in a tent when you have a perfectly good house? It's not fun or relaxing, it's stressful; you're exposed to the elements, you might run out of food, you're more vulnerable if someone attacks/robs you, etc. It's very much left over from his days on the streets. He appreciates the nature and has a good time during the day but once the sun sets, he's like "Ok, let's go home." The first day or two would be ok but after that he would be stressed out of his mind and begging to go home.

Ambrosius: He has also never been camping. Because why would you voluntarily live in a tent when you have a perfectly good house (read: mansion)? He would probably have asked to go a few times when he was a kid but was told no and now is super excited it's finally happening. He would want to help with everything but has no idea what he's doing (much to Blitzmeyer's frusteration). If Bal's the one who overpacks, he's the one who underpacks. They set everything up and he just stares at his stuff like "...I forgot a pillow. It didn't occur to me that there wouldn't be pillows here." Then he either has to borrow one from Blitzmeyer or drive a couple hours to the nearest store lol He forgets soap, food, a flashlight, bug spray, and basically everything else that isn’t a sleeping bag and clothes. He has a really great time for a few days but starts to get grumpy the longer it goes on. Once they do get back, he instantly gets in his bed and isolates himself for a day, scrolling on his phone. He enjoys camping but he enjoys his house more lol

[tizzyizzy]

What if Izzy Was an Unsympathetic Villain?

So there were a bunch of takes about Izzy being a flat villain character with no redeeming characteristics a while back. I thought it might be interesting to figure out what changes I would make to the narrative if Izzy was meant to be that villainous an unsympathetic.

Evil Izzy = Evizzy

Changing the Ed & Izzy Relationship

One common problem at the intersection of Izzy Misunderstanderism and Ed  Apologism is the assertion that Izzy is a useless incompetent that Ed has no emotional attachment to, but also a cunning manipulator who has  Ed under his thumb.Problem is, its tough to manipulate someone is they don’t give a crap you.

So let’s make Evizzy a kind of mentor or big brother figure to Ed. They met when they were young, and Evizzy did end up doing a lot for Ed (though only for his own benefit). Ed never stopped being grateful and looking to EvIzzy for guidance, even long after he outgrew him.

Because Evizzy is evil, he doesn’t actually care about Ed, and he manipulates him to doubt his abilities. Evizzy says things like, “I”m the brain, you’re the charisma”. Evizzy doesn’t have the capacity to lead on his own, so he has to o it through Ed, and Ed allows it because that’s been their dynamic. Maybe Evizzy says that Ed can’t captain properly because he can’t kill, or due to his depression. Ed doesn’t realize he is more than capable of leading on his own.

This would also require changing Ed’s personality; he’d have tp be less confient an decisive, more uncertain of his abilities. Buuut that’s also the only way for Evizzy to actually be able to retain power of over him.

Evizzy Never has a Point

Part of what makes canon Izzy sympathetic is that he often has very reasonable concerns.This is particularly evident in episode 4, where we see Ed leave his first mate hanging to play with Stede and nearly get them all killed due to the flaw in his plan. We also have Izzy’s confrontation with Stede, where Stede’s lack of awareness of the ship is contrasted with Izzy’s efficiency, and Izzy’s concern over three men dying that Ed brushes off.

Edizzy is completely unsympathetic, so he can’t be in the right. For example, in ep 4, let’s cut out Ed’s neglect of his responsibilities and his willingness to use his crew to alleviate his boredom by rescuing Stede.

How about this: Evizzy is the one who wants them to go after Stede, because he was just that humiliated after Stede stole his hostage. It is Ed who is against the plan, because he doesn’t want to waste his men’s lives over a single hostage. It’s Evizzy who is happy to throw men’s lives away to “uphold the reputation of Blackbeard”, though it’s obvious he just wants personal revenge.

When they take the ship, Ed executes some plan that prevents the Spanish from coming after them (which he communicates to everyone). He falls for Stede and plays dress-up with him. But it turns out he made some kind of very understandable, very human error with the plan that leads to the Spanish finding them. Evizzy cruelly berates Ed for this mistake, making Ed doubt himself.

(Yes, again we have to alter Ed’s behavior to make Evizzy more villainous. Canon Izzy has valid reasons to be upset with Ed. Ed’s flaws must be smoothed out to get rid of Evizzy’s justifications. Turns out flattening your villain flattens your heroes, too.)

Evizzy is Sadistic

While Izzy is often a jerk in canon, he tends not to act cruelly or violently without believing he has some kind of justification for doing so. For example, regardless of the homophobia/femmephobia in his comments to Lucius and Pete, he only started behaving that way when Lucius refused to respect his authority and work. He tries to cow Stede into fleeing or surrendering before both his confrontations with him turn to violence.

So we just need to make Evizzy a violent dick to everyone, all the time, to take pleasure in their misery. He doesn’t buy the hostages off the islanders; he steals them. He slices Stede’s skin instead of just his shirt, and is delighted by the pain inflicted.He starts harassing Lucius and Pete when they exchange a kiss on deck; work never comes into it. Really play up the misery of working under Captain Hands.

imho all this would make for a bit of a blander villain, but if you want an actual flat unsympathetic villain, this is what one would look like.