#when is it my turn to be happy bioware????

[silverhalla]

the most important + based lore change they could make in veilguard would be retconning “blight” back into “taint” and if they weren’t COWARDS they’d do it

[internalloops]

DA:TV rant … if you are of the mind that BioWare can do no wrong /its games can be criticize or if you truly enjoying the game and are loving everything that you’ve seen so far this post is not for you. Please move along and if you don’t want me showing up on your feed please block me.  I will not be engaging with any fan that will not allow me to take up space and vent my feelings on the disaster that is this fucking game.

*Also a lot of spoilers!!

.. it’s horrible, like I knew I was going to be disappointed but holy fucking shit …

I’m about to finish act one and .. they destroyed their entire lore … BioWare destroyed their ENTIRE lore /world build of Dragon Age

Minrathous has NO SLAVES !!! They are briefly talked about via shadow dragons but they’re are none visible at all in the city ( but they have the animation to give a poor person “fake money” )

The qunari who literally fought and tried to kill solas in trespasser have been turned into mindless brutes who willingly joined the evil gods … because they command dragons ?

The blight except for one mission is harmless. They purposely turned it into a bio weapon and then (besides the dark spawn spawning from it like something out of an MMO) due to *plot armor, no one actually contracts the blight ???

The black chantry minus one building that you go through in a side quest doesn’t exist? No chantry members , no talk of the black divine ..

Dalish are all engineers now and part of the veil jumpers ( which should not exist lore wise) and all elven magic has been converted into cyberpunk technology and artifacts. Very little talk about their oppression and they are all very willing to drop all their history , even their distrust of solas , to flight the old gods .

Varric Has been demoted to inspirational speaker and narrator he has no other role and the entire team acts like he died , even when he’s in the room with him ( I think BioWare actually planned to kill him but then chickened out ) and is a husk of his former self

Same with Morgan , you can’t interact with her at all and she’s given the same mysterious background as flemeth ( the theory that she carries mythal spirit is very strong right now )

Lyrim potions don’t exist, in fact lyrim doesn’t exist at all besides the dagger. All magic has turned into technology, and if you play as a mage mana just has an automatic replenish rate /cool down effect that you can level up.

Evil gods go back and forth between an actual intense adversary and threat to the world, and a typical Disney villain.

These are just the few I can think of off the top of my head, there is so much more than this …

The game can literally be summed up as Mass effect andromeda x2 with God of war animations and marvel style writing ( not the avengers I’m talking about the recent shit)

Also for the people who want to kill solas or simply dislike him, the game pushes a sympathetic view of him on you ,even your companions who outrightly want to kill him will feel sorry for him. And I’m saying this as a solavellan fan. Yes they’re options to be mean to him and antagonize him, but you won’t get anyone agreeing with your actions ,at best they’ll be neutral about it. Now this might play out differently for those who picked the “chooses to stop him “ option , but for those who’s inquisitions wanted to save him but they wanted their rooks to hate him … you’re not gonna be happy about what you get ..

The only thing that keeping me playing is the reveal of history of ancient elves and Titans and solas’s story. And Assan!! Assan can do no wrong !! Everything else is a slog to get through.

[vir-bellanaris]

I love your blog and I hope this doesn’t come across rude but I feel like you and a lot of people are overlooking the glaring issues this game has. The writing is abysmal and they are clearly trying to pander the series towards a new audience. Whatever lore they had built up has not been addressed or has been trickled down into crumbs. That ending with Solas and the inquisitor was ridiculously bad and I don’t think we should praise them for giving us fans crumbs when they had built up this idea of a solavellan reunion and us getting a satisfying resolution. Ghil Dirthalen, a massive creator has openly been shitting on people in a recent tweet because we are ‘upset’ and put it down to people getting too invested into their headcanons. No, it is because we have been waiting for SO long, (some people who have been OG fans since Origins) and their beloved series gets turned into this? I’m tired of seeing empty praise and people not calling out Bioware’s shortcomings. This is the worst dragon age game we have ever gotten and at this point, I hope the IP dies.

Hey, normally I wouldn't post this to my blog cause I'm trying to stay positive but I do agree with everything you've said!

I don't think anything I've seen was "well-written," and I do think people have a right to be disappointed.

But hear me out now, if you will. I am simply thrilled we got a Solavellan resolution. A happy one. One where they don't both die, because honestly fam, that's what I was expecting.

To be frank, I don't care about the game as a whole. It will probably be quite a while before I play it, if I even do. I was solely invested in what happens to Solas and Lavellan.

Bestie, we got a kiss. A kiss. I can't even complain because a year ago I never thought there'd be anything ever again aside from fanwork for those two, my OTP since I was 18.

Am I peeved about some things I've seen, like the lore being messed up, etc, yes. But again, my expectations were rock bottom, so maybe I'm feeling it a bit less.

I'm sorry so many people are so upset, and I'm trying to spread positivity where I can for those who felt let down ❤️🫂

I know how much these stories have meant to people for literal decades. I know how much Solavellan means to so many people. And now, because of the ending we were given, it opens up a whole world where we can explore what happens next for those two.

And as an aside, I know there are people who are LOVING the game and are thrilled with the Solavellan ending (myself included) and the last thing I want to do is take that joy away from them.

[csphire]

I think what really breaks the Solavellan romance in VG for me is how much closure for the Inquisitor is sidelined in favor of Solas's half of the relationship. I get it. Forgiveness is important and it's his lowest moment but after everything Lavellan as a character had to go through and experienced, everything the character canonically loses, there's something off about seeing it all kind of end with an anti-climactic "Lavellan joins him in fade prison so he doesn't have to be alone." It feels almost like she's his reward. I'm glad for some people they like the ending but, man, it just doesn't sit right with me. Who comforts Lavellan over her lost friends? Who is there for her while the blight destroys Southern Thedas? Who helped her adjust to life after the loss of her arm? And unlike with Solas, none of that was the result of her choices or due to mistakes she made. Idk maybe I'm just wildly off base but I feel like while at least some of the writing has compassion for Solas there is none that is tangibly afforded to the Inquisitor. It feels like compared to the Warden and Hawke at least, a Solas-manced Inquisitor gets such a lack of care. They do almost all of the giving and they lose so much but it's never really tangibly acknowledged within the VG romance. people like to say "just head-canon it" but why am I doing the writers job for them? They had this romance span two games and involve a major antagonist, there should have been a more thoughtful and nuanced ending for VG.

I agree, with all the build-up in Trespasser it felt set up for the Inquisitor to play a bigger part in DA4. And out of all of the companions, it also felt like Varric was the one who helped the most, for not just Lavellan but any Inquisitor, to pick up the pieces after Solas left. He gave them a Kirkwall title, and key to the city, and basically rolled out the red carpet to help them feel like they had a place to call home when they would inevitably leave Skyhold behind for good. I feel like he led the charge in tracking down Solas in what I've seen in the comics too. So his death is a gut punch to any Inquisitor but it's just brushed aside and minimized for the plot twist and so a Lavellan can choose to go with Solas into the Fade. Please keep in mind, one thing I've not gotten a clear answer on, as I've not made it so far into the game is, did Rook know Varric was dead when he encourages the Inqusitor to redeem Solas? But on another note, the Veilguard broke at least one rule when it came to party sizes so I don't understand why we could not have broken another rule and had two protagonists to control when it came to dialogue at least. And many of us would have loved to have seen our Inqusitor fighting again as a temporary companion too because so many in the past in FB groups would drop ableist comments on how the Inqusitor cannot fight anymore with just one hand. It sickens me BioWare seemed to double down on this. With all the tough things out there they have handled in the past to address racism, sexism, gay and trans rights they shy away from addressing ableism? Like with Neve if we told her to take it easy because she was hurt at the beginning she could have had a talk with Rook about coddling her because of her artificial leg. But that didn't happen or any comment made about it at all. On one hand, not addressing that injury and focusing on her character might be cathartic for someone in a similar situation in real life. But honestly, I feel like Neve missing a leg was just put there to silence any criticism of benching the Inquisitor and in your words turning a Lavellan into Solas's reward. But I have seen some comments here and there that Mike did not want a Lavellan happy ending to happen at all. And it was the writers who pushed for it to happen for the sake of the Solavellan fans. So I sit here with a lot of mixed feelings about the whole thing. Two of my favorite characters in the whole Dragon Age series and one of them murdered the other and it leaves such a bitter taste in my mouth. I don't think Solas should have been so much of an antagonist in Veilguard mainly because he was not in the Inquisition. For me, Solas felt so out of character in Veilguard. Plus what he did ruined any chance for my Lavellan to reconcile with him because he's now killed two of his friends one of them a mutual of our Inquistor's. For me at least one does not run off with someone who has a track record like that ten years after he dumped my ass. Plus giving Solas a second chance feels... dirty, like an insult to Varric's memory. That and Lavellan deserved better than to sacrifice her safety, comfort, and possibly even life for Solas at this point. And I hate how the writers and the whole game set things up that leaves me feeling like that.

[hydrangeapartridge]

My completely biased review and opinion about companions in Veilguard (major spoilers of course)

(Side note : english is not my first langage, I hope I can express myself clearly enough for you all to understand my points)

- Neve

I like Neve, she’s cool. I loved the detail of the noise her metal leg makes when she walks.

Her questline was however a bit bland. We had better portrayals of power hungry blood mages in previous games and Aelia wasn’t that good an antagonist. She lacks charisma and isn’t seen much before the last quest so you don’t really care about her. It could have been more dramatic, like if we had to fight people of Minrathos being controlled, idk. Also not much about slavery.

I get that Bioware tried to make Neve’s quest like detective work, searching for clues and stuff, but for me it wasn’t that exciting, and Venatori are the mobs I like the least, I don’t like the crystals you have to break in order mechanics and stuff.

I chose to make her the hero of Minrathos and it was satisfying.

- Harding

I can’t find it in myself to call her Lace damn it XD

Of course I was happy to see Harding again after Inquisition ! She is a ray of Ferelden sunshine. I really enjoyed her questline with the Titans ; it was mysterious and you really felt the danger in the deep roads, and the potential threat of her newly acquiered magic. I liked the giant oracle and the design of the lyrium caves. It was a nice throwback to the first games.

The end scene of her quest was nicely done, with Rook trying to reach her while the whole cave was collapsing and then a group hug.

I chose the path of compassion.

- Lucanis

His accent was more funny to me than endearing (as is his signature « Mierda ») and I was surprised to find that he was soft instead of suave. I didn’t save Treviso so I feel like I missed a lot of his quest (and the decision at the end) and in the end he was OK but not that interesting to me.

There was also the problem of Illario ; the second he was introduced I smelled the family treason nd so there was no suspense to this quest. It felt like a bad telenovella.

I like that Zara had a literal blood bath in the quest of the same name. It was a cool fight.

I didn’t bring him out much but I enjoyed that he ended up with Neve.

- Bellara

Bellara is adorable. I liked her quirkiness but her dialogues were sometimes terrible. When she talked I felt like she kept repeating the same things phrased differently and sometimes I felt the itch to skip (I usually never skip dialog!).

I had high hopes for her questline because of Anaris and finding that her brother wasn’t dead, but it all flopped in the end when Cyrian got killed by being sent flying away and Anaris didn’t turn out that scary. It felt stupide that Cyrian was not dead and then really dead…

I chose to keep the Archive but that choice felt like the less impactful of all the companion choices.

- Davrin

I didn’t expect Davrin to be so brash ! I enjoyed his banter a lot and the growth of his relationship with Assan. That griffin is an absolute cutie !

His quests were cute for the Arlathan ones and impactful for the one with the Gloom Howler. I enjoyed Isseya’s story and saving the griffins.

I still felt Davrin to be a little too « jock » coded, but his banter with Emmrich and Manfred was perfect ! I enjoyed seeing the wardens again (Antoine and Evka <3) and am glad he was a true Warden this one.

I chose to release the griffin in Arlathan because my Rook was an elven veil jumper.

- Taash

In real life, Taash is the kind of person I would have trouble connecting with. They’re obtuse and a bit rude. I felt like I was intruding during the parts with her mother (it is probably the goal of those moments but it made me uneasy). I wanted to be supportive so I was but I didn’t feel like my Rook and them ended up great friends. The identity crisis wasn’t handled that well I think, but it wasn’t as bad as people make it out to be and maybe I’ll get hate for that but they come out at first more Trans than non binary given their problem is being misgendered as a girl mostly or expected to do girly things? They even say it feels right to be called a man I think I remember? (but I respect whatever pronouns she chose in the end)

I really enjoyed the dragon hunt quests however and their last quest was cool too. Their mother’s death was a sacrifice that made sense and it pained me.

Their romance with Harding was cute (mostly because of Harding’s reactions and that height difference XD)

I chose to push them towards embracing the Rivein life, even if I think they could have made peace with both ?

- Emmrich

Of course my favourite. And not only because he is the handsome older man who swept my Rook off her feet.

To give us a scholar necromancer that was the antithesis of the cliché : a man poised but a tad insecure, nerdy, gentle, kind, a bit posh, extremly elegant and whose favourite colour is lilac ! Genius !

The Necropolis had such a distinct ambiance that every quest there felt special, with amazing details and wonders of finding a wisp, a spirit or hearing a dead’s last words.

To me his personnal quests are the ones with the best handled rythm. The first one in the peace and quiet of the beautiful garden sets the tone : serious but poetic, sad but hopeful, and dares to tackle very real and grave subjects. Death and regret but also life and love are perfectly handled in his story and brought me lots and lots of feels.

There is a great antagonist whose motives are simple but dangerous ; a friend turned rival, similar but so different from dear Emmrich. Johanna is simply iconic (her hand gosh and the fact that you keep her skull in the end, brillant). The fights are well balanced, the cutscenes and dialogues perfect for immersion. And don’t get me started on Manfred… I love this little guy to bits.

I chose to revive Manfred and for Emmrich and Rook to live the rest of his mortality together. In Undying Love

[privatebooth]

All these talks about the new Dragon Age game are making me nostalgic.

I remember how when DA2 was being made there was so much hype, and I was not thrilled at all. Origins left such a strong impression on me, I hated the idea of moving on to something different. Change was always difficult for me to accept, any change. I know a lot of people didn't want to part with their wardens, there's nothing original in that, but...

I hated Hawke before he even came into existence. I only wanted to see more of my Warden and Zevran who turned my world upside down.

Instead, they made this new character who spoke and had a semblance of an actual personality which I couldn't even control!

Then Bioware started feeding us little snippets of the game, and I saw the grumpy little brother, obviously displeased with his life, which pretty much instantly endeared him to me, and I thought I could try playing this game just to make him smile. Also, I really liked Nicholas Boulton's voice, and didn't mind hearing more of him (my Warden was a city fem elf, so I thought working with him would be fun).

The demo came out when I more or less started to come to terms with the fact that I'll never see my warden again, but may still hear something about her, and I was desperate for something. I played with all combinations of classes and genders, absolutely hated the gameplay - still do, loved being a rogue in DAO, but here it makes me want to smash my keyboard - but was very happy to find that mages are much more fun to play now, since I wanted to have Carver in my team.

Okay, but I still hated Hawke. I didn't know anything about his story, didn't care to know, and I told him right away "You will fail". I really didn't want him to succed, there was no way he could ever compare to HOF, who solved every single problem, saved every single soul she could save, and befriended everyone she ever met. The icon of diplomacy and efficiency, with just enough arrogance to be lovable (cocky elf voice FTW!) I still miss her so much.

The good thing about not caring too much about this guy was that I actually allowed Hawke to be human. I didn't feel pressured to play the hero who must always make the right choice. He was allowed to make questionable decisions, to fail, it was expected of him. I didn't want a lousy wannabe superhero. Can't persuade that angry Dalish elf on Wounded coast? That's okay, Hawke, you're not the Warden - she definitely could have talked her down. A crowd of weary Fereldans protecting Anders? Carver, you go talk to them.

On and on, it became more apparent that Hawke's story would not be as glorious as the Warden's, and he won't be as much of a hero. He truly was just a guy who was trying to get by and take care of his family and friends. No ambition to fix the world and save everyone.

The Warden remains an unachievable ideal I can only dream of emulating.

Hawke... he is so much more relatable, and a lot closer to me than any Bioware char will ever be. I love him so much.

[underthevenadahl]

Okie! So! As someone who hasn't finished the game yet, I thought it would be cool to list off a few predictions here and see if they end up being right! I'll do 12, one for each month of the year. Sorta in the new year spirit yknow?

So, there are definitely gonna be spoilers in this post so the rest will be below the cut! I've managed to stay away from a good deal of big in game spoilers, so I shouldn't be too tainted in my guesses, lol.

Important note: I tend to have weird pattern recognition with media, so I'm usually either pretty accurate or pretty off base, no in the middle. I think I'm fairly accurate on most of these, but I guess I'll have to see! In no particular order, here we go!

1. Starting off obvious . The weird Wraith thing, gloom howler(??) in Davrin's quests, has something to do the Last Flight. I dunno what yet, I wouldn't be surprised if it's something caused by Isseya's bood magic?? But ofc they are gonna tie in Last flight somehow, it's the origin of our current gryphons!

2. This one I have no evidence to back up at all, but someone's gonna die by the end. I feel it in my bones? This game is light and fun in some ways but I feel an air of tragedy, and I would put money on it specifically being related to one of our companions. And probably it's gonna be one of those scenarios where WE have to decide too, uhg. Hate those

3. Something is up with varric. Like a BIG something? Ill be quite upset if im right. At first I thought that maybe he'd betray us or something, because this game also has an air of betrayal, but I've been really sitting on it yknow. I've noticed, he's never mentioned by the others, he very rarely shows up in cutscenes he should probably be in, and he's shown no getting better. Another thing that's bothering me, is when harding touched the dagger, there was an entire awakening, but the dagger went INSIDE of varric, literally interacted with his blood, and nothing? Nothing at all? It just isn't adding up. I'm starting to think that this might be that one trope, where we see a charcater the whole time but it turns out it was just in the mc's head?? If I'm right I'm gonna be SO upset. He just feels so weird.

4. There is probably gonna be a problem with Taash's mom? I've no evidence, but parents don't tend to last very well in this series? And Taash has a parent who while a little iffy, would probably still do almost anything to protect them I feel like. Within the series we tend to get this history of charcaters who love and would do anything for someone, sacrificing themselves. So. Yknow. I guess I'll see? As someone who relates to their relationship I want it to all turn out well but idk.

5. Rook is prolly gonna have a say in if Emmerich becomes a lich? I say this mostly because in the games, the Mc ALWAYS ends up making final choices for charcaters so, I already have a decent idea of some of the choices I'm gonna have to make based on the early quests

6. In the same air, rook will probably have a say in what goes on with Bellara's brother? That's what I think it's gonna be in her quest at least. Bellara and Emmerich are the only two I can rlly guess about right now, maybe Lucanis too? But the others I haven't fully figured out what their Big decisions are, albeit I have some ideas, just nothing concrete.

7. The inquistor will not fare well. I dunno what exactly but I get the idea that bioware is gonna try to ruin us with them. Maybe they die in the end? Or maybe they just can't protect thedas like they are trying. I have a Lavellan who romanced solas, and I just know that's gotta end up tragic right? No way are they gonna give us a good happy endinggg.

8. This one's purely optimistic: the Grey Wardens will be better. I want a world where they don't hide as much. So I'm gonna say, that they get their act together and stop some of the secrets.

9. To counteract the previous one: the Grey Wardens are over. Forever. From what I can tell the current stuff in game is the blight to end all blights. And maybe people will just decide they don't need the Grey Wardens any more ):

10. Neve and lucanis are gonna be a thing? Hasn't happened yet in my game, but MAN do they have banter. It's gotta be like Bull and Dorian ya? They r totally a thing. Low key ship others more, butttt Neve and Lucanis is still pretty cute, they could match very well.

11. Ghilan'nain is probably gonna be secondary to Elgar'nan when It comes to defeating them? As in she will probably die first, and he will be the finale. I say this because he seems like the type to toss her to the side if it'll get him what he wants. But what I want to happen, is her betraying him and going to the "good" side. Lol. I just like her so much, i hope we get to see a softer side to her, even if we have to end up killing her or something.

12. The titans, or more likely the dwarves, will gain a new connection? I wanna say they will reconnect the titans to the fade in some way, but it just seems too complicated for them to go for in the game I think. And I believe most of the titans are dead, if not all of them? So I dunno. But it would be suuuuper cool to see the dwarves regain a connection to something yknow, to see more of them become like harding. And I think it would be healing for them.

[carabas]

Hey. Why does Lucanis's storyline end like that. Why would you start a storyline with a conversation like this:

Lucanis: I've always thought that to live truly is to live fully. But even before I was captured, my life was not really my own. So much had been determined for me. Rook: Being grandson to the First Talon must come with a lot of baggage. Lucanis: And when I proved I could carry it, the expectations only grew.

And after he has repeatedly stated in Tevinter Nights that, though he certainly doesn't want to quit the Crows, he does not want to be First Talon and would not be suited to it:

"All that effort training and grooming us, and the old woman still won't step aside." Beneath the bitterness in Illario's tone was something rotten. "Your time will come," Lucanis assured him. "Will it?" Illario's piercing gaze met Lucanis's in the mirror. "People talk. You've always been her favorite." He'd heard the rumors. For all their secrets and intrigue, the Antivan Crows were a chatty bunch. "My talents lie elsewhere," Lucanis said, gesturing toward the arsenal around him. "You're the one with the silver tongue."

Tevinter Nights again:

Illario's gaze grew hard. "How long are you going to keep doing this?" "Doing what?" "Caterina's bidding." The wine turned in Lucanis's mouth. "Illario. Stop." "If I was in charge, you wouldn't have to do this anymore," he cajoled. "You could quit." Lucanis stared at his cousin. "I don't want to quit." Illario sat back. The distance between them suddenly felt much wider than a table. "Even if it kills you," Illario whispered. "Death is my calling," Lucanis stated, matter-of-fact. "Just as yours is to become First Talon." He smiled, hoping to ease the tension, but Illario's posture remained taut. "And if Caterina disagrees? If she thinks you're the better man for the job--" "I don't want it, Illario," Lucanis insisted. "But you wouldn't refuse." "It's impossible to refuse Caterina," Lucanis admitted reluctantly. "Only prolong her, until she sees reason." He knew it wasn't the answer Illario wanted, but it was the truth. And in their line of work, honesty was hard to come by.

...and then Caterina declares Lucanis First Talon and, that's, we're leaving it like that. That's where we're leaving it? We started this story with a statement that his life had never been his own and had been determined by Caterina, and we are ending the story with his life being determined by Caterina, that is what we are doing?

The final pivotal scene of this game is about a spirit being released from an unwanted role he had been twisted into! Solas was Wisdom before Mythal turned him into her weapon as the Dread Wolf, a role he had remained trapped in long after the person who imposed that duty upon him had died! Letting Solas persist in his perceived duty twists him into a monster who starts talking like Elgar'nan, the very thing he'd said he feared becoming! Finally releasing Solas from Mythal's service is the super happy best ending of this game! The obvious parallels are paralleling!

And yet this story ends with Lucanis in the role Caterina put on him as First Talon??

Bioware why would you write it like that, I just want to talk

[kaija-rayne-author]

Dragon Age Veilguard wrap up review and final thoughts

So… I wrote that string of reviews (section one starts here) while I was playing the game. I’d write them either before or after logging in for the day, so I wouldn’t forget anything I wanted to mention.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard. Tried to keep them to a minimum, but they’re there.

My thoughts on breaking the media blackout I stayed under while I played Veilguard to completion.

A little about me. I’m an editor by trade. I’m an author and a reviewer. I’m a pretty heavily left leaning, queer as fuck, non-binary person, so I’m not one of the awful reviewers who are causing so many problems from what I’ve heard. No one paid me for a review or to write anything. I’ve played the game to completion and watched the credits all the way through to that awful last scene. These are just my thoughts and my knowledge. And honestly? My broken heart.

I’m just someone who has absolutely loved Dragon Age from the moment I first turned on DAO. Because I’m an editor and a writer… my reviews tend to be more in depth than an average person’s? Maybe? I have a medical background (Forensic Anthropologist) and I legitimately read encyclopedias for fun.

In case you haven’t guessed yet. I’m autistic/ADHD (AuDHD). Dragon Age has been a hyperfocus/special interest of mine for years. I’m absolutely a lore fiend. I probably know more about the lore than many people actually working at BioWare. Especially if Veilguard is anything to judge by.

Also, this is all my off the cuff writing. I haven't the time, energy, or desire to edit them.

The problem with Dragon Age Veilguard… well. There’re a lot of problems with it. I think what it really comes down to is poor adhesion to the established lore, a crappy fighting and levelling system, and poor writing. And with Trick Weekes as Lead Writer? I never in a million years would’ve thought I’d have to say that about Veilguard.

I’ve enjoyed Weekes’ writing for a few years now. Two of my favourite Dragon Age books are by them. I really wish I could write a positive review for Veilguard. But I just can’t.

There were some things I liked about it. I liked some of the mechanics. Ziplines and the Elven light puzzles were pretty awesome. I liked how some of the streamlining made the game better. I liked how the logs were a lot easier to walk across than they were in any of the previous games. Some of the characters grew on me despite their poor writing. I liked the map when I was at the Lighthouse. Being able to see when and where a companion wanted to talk to me was great. I liked the wardrobe and how nice and easy it made changing how your gear looked. There were probably a few other things I liked. I tried to be scrupulous in my review series on saying both the positive and the negative. So if you’ve got the time to read that long thing, it’s probably worth it if you’re on the fence about buying and playing it.

And if you had a hand in making that travesty of a CRPG? You really should read it. For professional development, if nothing else.

If you’re Solavellan? I’ll just flat out tell you not to. It’s not worth it. There is no happy ending for Solas and Inky. There’s no intimate scene. Every single thing most Solavellan’s have been hoping for… for ten bloody years? It’s not there. And in fact, they did Solas so dirty. There were memories of him. I wanted memories! I did not want memories of every awful thing he’d ever been forced to do as a rebel leader. They hammered home how awful Solas was with a freaking jackhammer.

As a diehard DA fan and a committed Solavellan? It was an outright painful game to play. It really hurt. And then to see his horrific wolf form (he honestly looks like a Chinese crested dog on a really bad day. I really wish I were joking.) And then to not have anything resembling a happy ending? It’s not worth your time, and it definitely isn’t worth your money. Fanfic writers will have to heal our broken hearts, because Weekes certainly did not.

No. Trick Weekes. That was not even a suggestion of a happy ending. And I will honestly never trust you again after you actually tweeted that to me. You gave me hope. And there was no reason to hope.

So… yeah. I’ll never be able to cover all the bad in Veilguard in a short (ish) review. I’m trying to keep this short!

I’m not good at that. For what it’s worth. XD.

The Lore.

There is so much Lore they had to use for inspiration. Three full games, five books, six comics, at least two coffee table/art books and probably stuff I don’t know about. They had all of that to use as inspiration. What little they did use? Was so twisted it was hardly recognizable. I went into more detail in the longer review series so I won’t here. But they hardly used the amazing amount of Lore at all. They shoved it under the rug of bad writing to make a very unsightly lump to anyone with eyes to see it.

It’s almost like they were so eager to shuffle Solas off so they could move on to writing a new game in a different age that they just… I don’t even know. Treated him poorly doesn’t begin to cover it. Screwed up the story by sidelining a plot-necessary character also doesn’t cover it. Which as both an editor and an author, I really do not understand. You don’t do that with such a plot heavy character. It leaves the consumers unhappy.

After the game play reveal. I honestly didn’t have a lot of hope. I knew Varric’s fate even before that. (It’s not good. In case you’re wondering.) Becoming an editor has absolutely ruined me by making it easy to guess what’s going to happen.

The Writing.

I’ve actually heard and seen the writers saying they were pleased with how the characters came out. Professionally? And as kindly as I possibly can? May I suggest you all learn how to write better? Most of those characters and the plot were just so poorly written. The romances were ridiculous. And I’m a romance author? So I kinda know what I’m talking about? At every juncture, you all chose the most basic, most puerile options. The only surprises for me in that game were how you completely ignored the Lore and how bad the writing was.

I think Veilguard would’ve been perfectly fine as a non-Dragon Age action RPG. And for anyone who loves it for that… I’m truly happy for you.

But that’s not how it was marketed. It had all the right Dragon Age voice actors, character names, location names… but that is not Dragon Age. You’d need to actually use the lore for that. They did not. Or if they used a little? It was heavily retconned and twisted out of recognition. The only thing even remotely close to being like a Dragon Age game were the settings, environments, and scenery. Those were phenomenal and the only thing that held that travesty of a game together. Everything else? Goddess. How do you fail so horribly at something when you have every resource you could possibly need to make it good?

Because it could actually have been good. It could’ve been phenomenal. If they’d actually written that game for Dragon Age fans? You know… us middle-aged or slightly younger/older gamers who’ve lusted for another DA game for years? If they’d paid attention even a little bit to the Lore? If they hadn’t side-lined a plot-important character? If they hadn’t retconned soooo much that I often felt like I had whiplash playing it? If they hadn’t stripped it down to the very bare bones of mediocrity? If they hadn’t basically made it for children? While condescending to them? (Heads up… kids hate being condescended to.)

If they hadn’t nerfed rogues so badly that I don’t know why they bothered to call them rogues at all? You cannot pick locks, hide in shadows, sneak, set or disarm traps, brew potions or bombs… absolutely none of the fun stuff that makes a rogue a rogue is in Veilguard. If you’re a rogue player? Skip it. You’ll just be as disappointed as I am.

Nor can you garden. You can’t make potions or bombs or… anything. You can’t craft anything yourself. You go to someone called The Caretaker at the Lighthouse and use everything you’ve collected by smashing far too many barrels (why… why with the barrels?) for them to upgrade your stuff. You can’t really dress up your companions in funny clothing or armour. They’ve scraped most of the detail out of Veilguard like they were carving a pumpkin and had to get the guts out. The problem is? Those guts are needed for any story. It’s called world building.

Get this. BioWare… BIOWARE removed blood splatter from Veilguard. There’s no toggle I can find that makes it even possible. They truly made this game for kids and not for the middle-aged gamers who… y’know… usually have money to spend on games. Do NOT ask me how that made any kind of sense. Their logo for at least two games was a blood splatter Dragon ffs. And now there’s no blood splatter option in game. I just absolutely cannot understand it.

The fighting system.

Dear gods. The fighting system. So first? They tied how often your companions get skill points to how high their bond is with you. You increase your bond with them by taking them with you (and you can only take two) and doing their quests, etc. But do you know what that means in functionality? If you’re not a tank player? You’re basically cream cheese. I’m not a professional gamer. But gaming is my number one form of entertainment. I play on hard/ultra hard for most games I play. And a lot of them are live-fighting types like DAV was trying to be.

Guess whose rogue had a permanent tattoo of ‘I have aggro please come eat me now’ on their forehead? Mine. I have a very intimate understanding of the inside animations of the dragon’s mouths. If they’re going to keep that crappy leveling system, the least they could do is let us all have the ‘no death’ toggle on every level. Won’t matter to me because I can’t imagine ever playing it again.

I lost 14 hours of my life with the crashing, glitching, and reloading I had to go through to get the damned thing to even run. (And it’s not my computer. It has an ssd. The video drivers are all updated and up to snuff. It’s around a little over midway between necessary and recommended specs. It’s just a shitty game.) It’s a shame I can’t charge BioWare for those lost hours of my life. How could they have possibly thought that this game was ready for release?

If you want to know the rest of the negatives (and a few more positives) the whole review series is where you’ll find them.

But between the actual craptastic showing of Veilguard and that last scene taking all the agency away from every character who ever came before? Oh, and with the bad guys from across the sea wearing something an awful lot like a burqa? You know… the long black robes and veils many Afghani people and other Muslims wear? Nah. I’m done. Finite. I may occasionally enjoy the first three games. But Veilguard does not exist for me. And anything they make going forward doesn’t exist for me. That last scene… WTAF were they thinking? I actually can’t believe out of all the people who must have worked on that game that no one else made that connection about maybe insinuating that people wearing black robes and veils who live on the other side of the sea are evil is maybe a bad thing!?

I just can’t anymore. If you’re looking for a no-brain needed, kid oriented, action RPG (they really did simplify this soooo much for children that it’s absolutely condescending) then you’ll probably be fine with it.

If you love the Lore as much as you love the world? If you play rated M games with romanceable companions for the intimate scenes and the romance? (You’ll be disappointed.) If you have a few thoughts on whether it’s a great idea to remove the agency of all previous characters in the entire series as being bad? If you think maybe it’s a bad idea to insinuate people in burqas are evil? If you play anything other than a tank? Veilguard is not a game for you.

[damallarky]

Boyfriend

@buttsonthebeach, @beardedladyqueen and everyone else who have been waiting for Truce.... this is not it. BUT it is another Solavellan Kid Fic.

This takes place about three years after the events of Veilguard, when Solas and Lavellan finally have their happy ending because that's what's going to happen. Right BioWare? Right?????

Nan is Aisling's first child from a different relationship. He's 17.

Neria is Solavellan child #1. She's 15. If you have read Truce, you will be happy to notice that by the time this fic happens, Solas has earned the coveted title of "Papae".

Enasali is 3.

-

Aisling sat and embroidered underneath the shade of the massive oak tree in their garden, listening as her youngest child shrieked and ran away from the large monstrous wolf chasing her. It was the size of a small dragon, with six glowing eyes and razor-sharp teeth as tall as the toddler it was after.  

Yet Aisling knew her daughter was in no danger, for she knew the man beneath the beast and that he loved Enasali as much as she did. She also knew, as she felt the child growing within her kick, that their lives would be changing yet again (this time for the better) and that soon Solas would have much less time to play their daughter's favorite game of “Chase (and Be Chased By) the Giant Puppy.” 

She and Solas had both agreed to spend as much time as possible with their children, particularly Enasali, before the baby came, and most of their time and energy was taken up by the baby.

Aisling’s thoughts were interrupted by peels of laughter, and she looked up from her embroidery to see Solas belly crawl through the flowers, his tail wagging rapidly as he inched closer and closer to Enasali. 

“Not through my bellflowers, please!” she called out. 

Solas stopped in his tracks and glanced back at her with two of his six eyes. He had the decency to flatten his ears to his skull in a sheepish expression before rolling over slightly to the left to get out of the way of Aisling’s precious bulbs. The fact that he smashed more of them in the process was not lost on her. Or him, for that matter, given the fact that he was now, very pointedly, not looking at her. 

Aisling stifled her laughter and decided to let it slide for now. 

She was just about to return to her embroidery when she heard a scream, followed by a large crash. Solas, too, heard the crash, and he immediately froze, jumping to his feet with his ears perked up and all six of his eyes focused in the direction of the noise. They both settled, however, when they realized it was their two oldest children screeching down the steps of their Fade home and not an intruder. 

“GIVE IT BACK, RENAN!” Neria yelled, trying to grab at her brother. Nan leaped over the banister and made a beeline straight to his mother, a leatherbound journal in his hands and what Aisling could only describe as a shit-eating grin on his face. He ran behind his mother and opened the journal to read it out loud.

“’I saw him again today,’” he read gleefully. “’How have I never noticed how blue his eyes were before now?’”

“I swear, Nan,” Neria seethed, “if you do not give me back my journal right now…”

They chased each other in circles around their mother, who was trying in vain to make them stop.

“That’s enough, you two,” she said warningly, but her children seemed too busy antagonizing each other to hear her. Nan continued to read from Neria’s journal, ignoring her threats and holding her journal up high so his sister couldn’t reach it. 

“’I hope I can see him again soon!’” he crowed. “’If only so I can see those pretty blue eyes again!’”

Neria’s face turned as bright red as her hair, and she, in a fit of rage, punched her brother in the gut. Hard. 

“STOP IT, THE BOTH OF YOU!” Aisling shouted. Both children looked down in contrition as she stood up, abandoning her embroidery. With her real hand resting on her swollen stomach, she held out her artificial one to Nan expectantly. 

“Renan, give me her journal. Now,” she commanded. 

Head still bowed, he handed his mother the journal. Aisling then gave it to Neria, who practically yanked it out of her mother’s hand and held it close to her chest.

“Neria,” Aisling said in a severe voice to let her daughter know she meant business, “how many times have your father and I told you that not every problem can be solved with your fists?”

She glanced over at said father, who was conveniently pretending he could not hear the argument as he entertained Enasali. Aisling supposed it was for the best. Their youngest hero worshiped her older siblings and was distraught whenever they argued, and Aisling was unsure if she could deal with a sobbing toddler on top of two misbehaving teenagers. 

“Now,” she said, giving both of her children very pointed looks, “I want the two of you to apologize to each other immediately.”

“Ir abelas, Neria,” Nan said. “I shouldn’t have taken your journal or told everyone about your secret boyfriend…”

Aisling glared at her son while Neria looked ready to punch him again. 

“Renan Lavellan!” 

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

“What is this about a boyfriend?”

They all turned to see a massive lupine head looming down at them, six eyes darting between the three of them in concern.

“Neria, is someone courting you?” he asked, his voice taking on a slightly panicked quality to it. “Who is this boy? How old is he? How did you meet him?” 

Neria’s face got redder and redder with each question, while Nan’s grin broadened. 

“She met him at one of Uncle Varric’s parties!” he said gleefully. Neria gave him a withering look, and Aisling was suddenly very concerned that Neria would skip the fists and start setting her brother on fire. Then she looked over at Solas, and judging by the look in his six eyes, Aisling knew that he was mentally going over every known associate of Varric Tethras, trying to determine who this mysterious suitor was and how to adequately dispose of them. Probably also with fire.

It took her breath away at times how alike father and daughter were. It was also just as likely to give her a headache.

Aisling pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“Solas…” she said warningly.

“What?” Solas replied innocently. “I merely wish to know more about Neria’s boyfriend…” Then, he narrowed his eyes and added, “…whom I would also very much like to meet. Privately.” 

Neria threw her arms up in the air in exasperation. 

“PAPAE!” she screeched. “THERE IS NO BOYFRIEND!”

Neria clutched her journal to her chest and glared at her family.

"You are all the worst!" she cried before stomping off towards the house.

Aisling heaved a heavy sigh. She had a feeling this wouldn't be the last time she'd hear of this.

[mightierthanthecanon]

For all the complaints about Dragon Age the Veilguard, I have to sing its praises for successfully giving me something I've wanted since playing Dragon Age Origins in 2009 -- the desire demon experience.

The scene I remember most from Origins is the desire demon in the circle tower who has the templar convinced he's living a perfect life with a wife and children who love him -- so convinced that he's willing to fight and die for them. When the warden interrupts them, almost the first thing the desire demon says is, "I have given him what he always wanted. Where is the harm in that?" And she's not entirely wrong.

I found that so incredibly interesting as a teenager, and since then, I've always wanted a dragon age game where we fall prey to a desire demon and have to free ourselves from their sorcery. But I knew that could never happen, because all humans have different desires, and there was no way Bioware could make a desire demon to cater to all of them.

Turns out I was completely wrong lol. For all its flaws, Veilguard was able to give me that exact experience. Because not only does Solas lie to and manipulate Rook into thinking Varric is alive and everything is okay, he lies to and manipulates the player. After all, what does any Dragon Age fan want more than to see Varric alive and well? Those beautifully drawn and loving detailed mini chapter recaps that "Varric" gives? They aren't for Rook. For one thing, they're in 3rd person, not 2nd, and for another, Rook never hears them. It's the player who constantly gets those updates, like a comforting reminder of Varric's existence every few hours. And it's the player who gets to check in on Varric in the infirmary, going back again and again for an encouraging (if meaningless) line or two every time they feel like it. Solas's lie isn't particularly convincing in retrospect, but it's the player who falls for it hook, line, and sinker.

Exactly as if they were under the spell of a desire demon.

Learning the truth made me feel sick to my stomach, and breaking free of the regret prison really did feel like breaking free of the compulsion of a desire demon. Like the warden says in Origins, my happiness was "an illusion, a cruel lie." It was truly the plot twist to end all plot twists. Masterfully done, and reminded me why I fell in love with Dragon Age in the first place.

[theoriginalladya]

God Cages & Spirit Memories

Title: God Cages & Spirit Memories

Summary: After defeating Ghilan'nain, Rook ends up alone in a strangely familiar place and must find his way out if he is to finish what he's started. Along the way, he meets someone unexpected, and finds out a truth he's always known, deep down.

Rating: General

Relationship(s): Rook & Varric Tethras, Lucanis Dellamorte/Rook

Characters: Rook, Varric Tethras, Alistair Theirin

Tags: Dragon Age Veilguard, Dragon Age - all media types, Dragon Age Veilguard - spoilers, Also some AU shenanigans because Bioware disappointed me, grief/mourning, truth revealed, surprise twist(s), Shadow Dragon Rook, Mage Rook, male Rook

Excerpt:

Rook groaned, hunched over on his knees and a dull ache pressing the back of his mind, a reminder, or maybe the remainder, of his connection to Solas. The ancient God of lies, treachery, and rebellion.  Depending on the story. Grunting with effort, Rook pushed himself to his feet.  Only then did he take a good look around him.  Shock and surprise stopped him.  “Wait...”  He was in the Fade, and he wasn’t asleep.  “Damn, you, Solas!” Rook knew this place, of course; the prison the Dread Wolf had made for Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain but had gotten caught up in himself when Rook disrupted his ritual.  Prison.  Well, that was one way to describe the Fade.  There was no rhyme or reason to it – broken bits of thoughts and ideas, of past and present, of architecture and... I molded you into someone this prison would accept in my place. Never in his life had Rook allowed defeat to win out over him, even when he was on the losing side.  Always, he had taken the lessons and learned from them.  A battlefield at Ventus.  A refused promotion by the Magisterium.  Being chased out of his home city by those he considered friends because he had angered the Venatori.  But this time...

~~~~~

GAAHHHHHH! The muses are BACK, BABY! whooo!

So, I fell deep into Dragon Age Veilguard - and unexpected turn of events, to be honest, but a delightful one nonetheless. And that fall seems to have brought the muses back to my sandbox! I could cry, I'm so happy!

Though the first installment of my Paulo Draco series, this piece occurs late in game, so if you haven't finished playing the game, you may want to wait until you have. I HAVE taken a few liberties to, shall we say, make a few adjustments, shall we say? (yeeting things I don't like, pulling in things I do that Bioware should have but didn't!). This series will be about my 'story' Rook - made specifically for writing. Here's a little bit to know about him:

Name: Nicias Mercar

Shadow Dragon

Mage

'related' to Dorian through his father

romance: Lucanis Dellamorte

Other bits and bobs will come out as more of his story is written and posted.

Anyway, thanks to all who have/will read! HERE I hope you enjoy my take on things!

[nadas-dirthalen]

Overall, I love Veilguard. It’s got its problems (like literally every other video game that exists lol) but considering the troubled development I’m amazed it turned out as good as it did

I’m just a bit sad we won’t get any DLC. I understand it’s all hands on deck for ME5, but I would have loved a campaign focusing on the Qunari and the Antaam (Sten my beloved I miss you)

And this is the kind of nuance we love to see in this space!! And in fandom at large! I also have my critiques of Veilguard—truly, I do! But I also recognize that they are understandable, given the dev cycle, and that they are far smaller than all of the things I love about the game.

If you'd have asked half of Solavellans, for instance, whether they genuinely believed there would be a satisfying ending for Solavellan? There was so much apprehension. BioWare delivered on that ending in a way that made me sob. From that alone, my critiques are so much smaller by comparison. But when you add on literally everything from Tearstride Island onward? I truly could not care about the things I am sad about.

Yes, no DLC is sad. But honestly? This is the power of fanfiction, to me. I fully intend to flesh out my entire worldstate in fiction between now and the next game, and I am happy to have room to do it! (Though I'm right there with you on wishing we got more Qunari/Antaam material, and if I weren't so sure they were going to do a lot with it in da5, I'd be really sad about the lack of the Chant of Light and how it predicted Veilguard, too. ;) )

Thank you for reaching out and saying hi! I truly LOVE everyone sharing their thoughts! 💛

[pausegame]

Lucanis is so cute 😭🥺💜✨🐦‍⬛ Emmrich is as well 🥺💜✨☠️

Some spoilers for Lucanis's romance under cut I have to gush and talk about him and Emmrich a little. They form a full necrosis team with my Rook which is great against Antaam encounters (and for a few bosses in the Crossroads behind locked doors), so I've gotten a good handful of their banter.

Also random thoughts and some comparisons from others a wee bit, since I'm not done.

Romanced Lucanis with my Crow because it felt right in my soul, and got to know that Emmrich ends up seeing Strife if not romanced himself 🥺💜 There's a brief cutscene between Lucanis and Emmrich discussing what would be a suitable date which Rook walks in on and is able to recommend.

Later there's follow-up banter between the two where Emmrich says Strife does indeed like knives as gifts (Lucanis had recommended knives as gifts prior), which Lucanis says he'll recommend his blacksmith. In a follow-up Emmrich asks who he gave a knife to as a gift, and Lucanis said another Crow a long time ago, and that he was never good at flirting like his cousin. When Emmrich asks why that didn't turn out as well as he assumed it would (since you think it would, right?) Lucanis reveals that he and the team had already met the Crow in question, and can glean his personality and why he wouldn't be into it, implying it was likely Viago.

Another banter has Emmrich expressing concern that he and Strife arr very different and don't have too much in common, to which Lucanis says the two like to be around each other and both like to discover things and poke them (in Emmrich's words then, a shared passion for discovery), which is more than can be said of Illario's string of partners. When Emmrich asks about Lucanis's dating history, he reveals Rook would be the only one, and he doesn't know what they see in him, but he's happy, and likes being around them.

I think I'm near the end of the game but so far his romance has been incredibly pure and friendly 🥺💜 There's only been one instance where they almost kiss, and nothing more. I could make the argument that Rook hangs out more with Davrin casually than Lucanis lol. You recruit Davrin after Lucanis but aside from taking him on missions and killing Antaam his bond progression is a lot slower/spaced out in segments different to the story. Davrin is a good comparison point since a lot of the middle of the story has to do with the Wardens, so building a bond with him goes incredibly fast and in a pretty steady order.

The titles of Lucanis's relationship phases is super cute though: Flirting with Danger, Personal Demon, and finally Rook's Talon.

I will kind of nitpick at BioWare's animations for general cutscenes though because the last personal mini quest/hangout with Lucanis I got, I probably would've preferred if both he and Rook reached across the table and held hands, grazed fingers, or for ease of factoring in race choice and animation differences, their pinkie or index reaches out to brush the other person's briefly, or if visually their coffee cups were touching but I'm very Repressed Victorian like that. Although IMO I think slight touches would be pretty big for Lucanis so those would be pretty meaningful for him to have someone to hold on to. Also Pride & Prejudice (2005) and period drama hand holding has me by the jugular so they would work really well in a fantasy setting.

I did hit flirt options with everyone else and instigated opening up for romance with everyone but Taash and Harding bc I wanted to see how that played out (it's very cute) and out of Emmrich, Bellara, Neve, Lucanis and Davrin, Bellara's is the only one that isn't interrupted before a kiss can happen (they don't kiss though, it's just a conversation). Emmrich's doesn't have a kiss at that point but there is an interruption. Lucanis, Neve, and Davrin all lean in for a kiss but Neve and Davrin are interrupted, while Lucanis pulls away himself to clear his head.

That initial almost kiss with Lucanis so far is the most suave he has been lol he's really earnest and sincere 🥺💜 which is very different from the stage Zevran set, not that Zevran isn't those things, but Zevran fits the Antivan Romantic vibe whereas Lucanis feels like an introvert. His story factors a lot into it, of course. He's very thoughtful and maybe a little distant, measured. Flirt options with him feel subdued, and I'd say he speaks with his eyes and the looks he sends, which are all beautifully animated.

I do wish that a romanced Lucanis is factored into the story of Treviso, esp if Rook is also a Crow but I can guess they wanted it to be easier for whatever faction for the story. It would have been nice though. I haven't gotten a whiff of any ambient dialogue about them being a thing, and I think it should be, considering who Lucanis is and how well known Rook becomes throughout the course of the story.

My Veilguard vacation is almost over so I'll be going the rest of the game at a normal human pace with a day job but it's been a lot of fun, and I def have to go draw a ton of meaningful glances and finger brushing between Rook and Lucanis once I'm done the full game 🐦‍⬛💜🐦‍⬛

[d035th15mak3m3l00kc00l]

Return to Andromeda

I'm back playing Andromeda, because maybe Veilguard was more like it than I remember? Maybe I'm being more critical than it deserves?

(I'm not).

I got swept into my internal story like Bioware used to be able to inspire. My favourite play is romancing Reyes up until he gets Sloan killed (I don't really need to warn for spoilers for a game this old do I??), then breaking it off from the hurt of the deception plus the shitty position he puts Ryder in, then ending up with Jaal.

I just love the story. I can see Keema saying to Reyes "You need to tell them." And Reyes saying, "I will. When the moment is right." Knowing he's being a coward, knowing Keema is right and he risks losing Ryder if he doesn't come clean. He figures he'll get Sloan out the picture, then approach Ryder with the truth, and a gift; the ability to put down an outpost, with his promised protection.

But fate intervenes.

He didn't expect Sloan to bring the Pathfinder to the meeting. Sloan has not been welcoming to them before then, and Ryder showed no friendliness to her in turn. But of course; the outpost. The wildcard. Sloan played it, using it to have the Pathfinder at her side.

Everything is set up; he can't change the course now. And if it was cowardly to hide the truth from Ryder before, it would be even more cowardly to run now. He has no choice but to put on a brave face. He plays the part he's written for himself, hoping Ryder chooses not just him, but a better future for Kadara.

They do, but he loses them in the process.

He knew Kadara would come at a cost. There's a price for everything. He thought he knew what it would be. He keeps up the brave face, but it hurts more than he could have predicted. There is so much he'll never be able to tell them. They put the distance between them, hurt in their voice. He should have trusted them.

He lies to himself about deeply buried hope for the future. Maybe, maybe, maybe he can earn their trust back. What they had between them was special. There is no one else in the galaxy like Ryder.

For Ryder, it was a devastating moment. They feel unclean, thinking again and again about how they could have warned Sloan, knowing that it was an impossible choice. Why couldn't Reyes have told them the truth? They could have avoided the whole situation. Why couldn't Reyes have had an honest duel? Was there really so much at stake he had to use such underhand, dishonest tactics? They wished they'd never been there. When they leave the planet they resolve to do everything in their power to never return. They want to forget the whole mess happened.

They throw themself into work, trying to make choices that make them feel like an honest person again. They tell the Moshae that Akksul can be saved. They want to believe it, believe that no one needs to be left to die again. They take comfort from the trust their teammates have in them; there is only honesty here. It's safe. No matter how they feel about Kadara, it seems like when they're in control of the decisions the right ones are made.

And then Akksul points a gun at Jaal's face.

In the moment they see another person dying, another death because they do not act. But Jaal is telling them to trust him, and it is his life. They hesitate, and Akksul takes the shot.

He misses.

It was the right decision again, but this time it feels like the opposite side of the coin to Kadara. The person who was facing the gun made the choice and the whole time they knew what they were walking into. When Jaal rests his forehead against theirs, the ocean of fears recedes.

With Jaal, they are healed. There's no subterfuge, no games. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He communicates with them, eagerly and openly. They know how he feels, where they stand. They are a team. He goes where they go, and they listen to him in turn.

Reyes will hear about it from his contacts; how Ryder and the Angara ended up together. He hopes they're happy, knows that Jaal is likely better to them than he ever was. He knows from his contacts that Jaal was highly sought after; that he is deserving of the Pathfinder's love. But it stings nonetheless, and for the rest of his life he'll see them as the love that he lost, no matter what his future holds.

[i-am-worm]

(This is an old idea I had for Quarians here, I just think Tali looks adorable in this old pic, lol).

Today's inktober word is 'Nomadic' and this made me think about Quarians in the game Mass Effect. And to my self-imposed horror, I realized I never bothered uploading my ideas for what they looked like back in the day. I went through a phase like that. I did lots of stuff back in 2010 and never really uploaded it...Possibly for the best, as it looks pretty rough in places now, but I did want to share some of my ideas before I upload my more current version from today.

I did at least upload my concepts for the Volus and the Raloi though (two other unseen races in game, one is coved up, and the latter just mentioned in other media). You can see them here:

Quarians are masked aliens in game and back in the day, I had to have my graphic settings turned WAY down in order to play mass effect. Have my low graphic crunchy Shepard

Because of that, I never saw the two glowing eyes or slightly human nose bridge reflection you can see in a normal setting. So I had in mind an alien species that somewhat resembled the Geth - a race of AI the Quarians themselves made:

So I was picturing something with one eye, armour and maybe even mandibles? So here is my first go:

BUT later on, when I played Mass Effect 2 on a better pc, I was disappointed that you could see a bit of a human face. No matter- I could still work with this.

MORE BELOW so I don't clog up your feed with ancient quarian debates I should have posted a decade ago, lol.

So I got to playing around with ideas, using my old ones. I mean- Quarians are mentioned to be attractive to Turians and later Javik mentions that ancient Quarins looked attractive. And they look like this:

So definitely not very human....right?

One thing I also noticed was that male Quarians have a flat nose compared to females, almost like a muzzle. (screenshots are mine, the model I downloaded back in the day and can no longer find a source sadly)

And that made me think about the sci-fi trope of cat people.

Seriously, these are just some of the books on my bookshelf that contain sci-fi cat people, and that's the ones I could find off the top of my head:

It makes sense; Mass Effect is a bit of an amalgamation of sci-fi tropes into new ideas. You have the insect race (Turains), Warring tank race (Krogun), the classic 'Grays' (Salarians), Animal-like with tentacles (Hanar), The 'sexy human female but a colour' (Asari). etc. etc. yadda yadda.

So I sat down and tried to design something that sort of encompassed all these ideas, Geth-like, attractive to Turians, Javik and maybe even humans...and a little bit of space cat thrown in.

So this was my first idea that I meant to upload back in 2012.

I think I wasn't happy with the body and I had meant to come back to it. I had over the next few years dabble din other sketches, even going back to the drawing board on the face.

I think what stopped me was the things we learned from Mass Effect 3. If you romance the Quarian Tali, you can see a photo of her face!...

...they were purple humans.

LAME.

But recently, The legendary edition took the critique on board and revamped the picture to the one on the right. Now they look ...even MORE human.

EVEN MORE LAAAAME.

Utter disappointment. Now I always knew that if Bioware revealed the Quarian face they would disappoint some people, but this was such a missed opportunity to design something unique. Bioware did they that they were worried if it was too alien, it would be hard for cosplayers to dress up? But come on, cosplayers love a challenge and will overcome anything. We knew they had two eyes and a nose bridge, it didn't have to be too alien, just alien enough.

TALI RAGE.

BUT the best answer is to REJECT CANNON.

And in a moment I'll upload my more updated Quarian idea.