#when i woke up to piss few hours later . bro what imagine opening your eyes and you see misha collins that was not there when you went sleep

[romanticfistfightz]

btw if i see misha collins slash castiel in my dreams again i will go insane. laat time i watched spn he was there always . hes there again . let me out

[clumsyracconking]

a villain

Ch.11 (1105 words)

Damn, 3am me when I was writing this really just said fuck the ship, well whatever happens happens I guess, imagine Dabi sitting there listening to Hatef--k by The Bravery while he’s thinking about Hawks. On a side note I suddenly realize the monster that I call a fanfic I’ve created.

Tags: @rachi-roo-bnha @imacowboy3 @magical-girl-04

Dabi had nothing to do other than sit with his thoughts, he was wishing he hadn’t kicked Hawks out because at least Hawks could fill the space a bit, or they could fuck, either way, when it was just Dabi the place felt empty and lonely. 

“Knock knock bitch.” Shoto said barging into Dabi’s apartment without having actually knocked, he was covered in soot, “I’m using your shower because Toga’s works weird.” 

“I- yeah ok go for it kid.” Dabi wasn’t going to tell Shoto that all of the showers in the building worked weird, he’d figure it out at some point. He did wonder why his brother was covered in soot but that was explained when he got a text with a video file from Hawks. “I know you don’t want to talk to me but figured you might want to see this.” And God Hawks was right, he did want to see that it was kind of awesome.

--

“Hey Shig I need to talk to you and tell you about something.” Hawks was down at the bar for the first time in a while.

“The fuck do you want kfc.” Shigaraki knew about his new recruit who had recently been offed and was pissed but would still hear the bird out.

“I want to start working for you again, this whole solo thing isn’t working out. I want to wreak some more havoc and the most effective way to do that is to join you.” Hawks had a very matter of fact tone when he spoke knowing Shigaraki rather that than a ‘clueless NPC’ in his words.

“You and patchwork are having issues aren't you.” Shigaraki said he didn't ask because he knew they were. He motioned to Kurogiri to pass them some glasses and booze, they were in for a long night.

--

In the end Hawks and Shigaraki ended up getting hammered and playing video games. The next morning the two were found leaning on each other, controllers in their laps.

“Oh my fuck.” Toga gasped seeing Hawks and Shigaraki, she had to take a picture of this and that’s exactly what she did and then went to show Shoto it’s not like he would really get it but she couldn't exactly show Dabi, she knew something was up with them.

“Young Hawks I advise you to move before he wakes up.” Kurogiri said tapping Hawks on the shoulder in efforts of waking him up, spoiler alert it didn’t work. Kurogiri even went to check his pulse to be sure Hawks wasn’t dead. He wasn't, just really tired. So the misty man gave up, he’d separate them if it got bad.

Shigaraki woke up first, feeling the added weight of Hawks on his side. “You smell like stale cigarettes kfc, you know that right.”

“I’m aware, exquisite observation.” He deadpanned not opening his eyes, if Shigaraki was going to kill him he would've done it already so he wasn't worried.

“Very well.” Shigaraki said putting a gloved hand on Hawks’ head, contrary to popular belief the two didn’t hate each other's company.

“So did we ever actually get to the question you asked me or did we just drink and game?”

“We drank an’ gamed most of the night I think, I gotta say I have missed having a challenge when I game though. Dabi is shit and Toga doesn't really get the controls.” Hawks said eyes still closed and pushing into the hand that was resting on his head.

“What about the youngest Todoroki kid? How's he play?” Shigaraki asked with a grin on his face.

“Oh you mother fucker, you knew?” Hawks’ eyes shot open, when he spoke he left it vague so Shigaraki could fill in what he knew there were a lot of Todoroki secrets that he could know.

“That you’ve been harboring the youngest and that Dabi is the oldest, yeah I knew it’s really not that hard to figure out, plus that time you all got really high the youngest came down and grabbed like two bottles from Giri, he’s still pissed about that by the way.” Shigaraki was just playing with Hawks’ hair at this point and speaking in a calm tone which is something he only ever did around Hawks and once or twice around Toga when she didn’t feel well and he only did that because he knew no one would believe her.

“Damn, well technically I wasn’t harboring him just somewhat housing him. Yeah no, don’t even tell me that sounds like bullshit I already know.”

“As long as you know kfc. We should get up at the very least move though.”

“You right, you right but I wish you weren't because I’m comfy.”

--

“So why'd you get upset with Hawks yesterday? And why did you say it was a conversation for us to have later?” Shoto really didn’t understand beating around the brush or small talk, he and Dabi were sitting around because he didn't like being alone and Toga had gone out, Hawks was nowhere to be found so he settled for Dabi.

“Fucking christ, I don’t know how to say this.” Dabi found it frustrating when he couldn't articulate his thoughts and now really wasn't the time.

“That seems like a you problem bro.”

“God the last person who called me bro was Natsu. Well damn guess that works too.” Dabi hadn’t meant to say it like that, kind of anticlimactic really.

“Did I just hear you right?” 

“Yeah Sho you did. It’s me, I'm Touya but emo.” Dabi added the last bit in attempts to lighten the mood a bit, it wasn't effective.

“Oh you mother fucker, God Fuyumi would fucking kill you, hell I want to kill you.” Shoto wasn’t mad but he wasn’t happy, more irritated and sad really. After a few moments of silence Shoto spoke again, “I remember that night you know, watching you leave. You said you’d be back soon and that it was our secret. All hell broke loose in the morning, Natsuo and Fuyumi were in hysterics for hours, Natsuo was never the same and Fuyumi basically became a mum for all of us, even cooking for father.” Dabi knew all of this, he hadn’t truly left, he still came by often, he just stuck to the shadows and the roofs so no one would know.

“I’m gonna go for a bit, I need a second.” Shoto murmured to himself and got up with his hand on the door. He looked back at his older brother, “I’m glad to have you back.” Before walking out and going to sit alone wishing he’d chosen to do that in the first place.

[bandblogging]

I thought you were okay with this (Josh Dun Imagine)

Requested: jup yay, anonymous asked: Reader is Tyler’s sister and josh and the reader have been dating for a while and Tyler wasn’t okay with it at first but he’s better now and one day josh and the reader do something Tyler doesn’t approve of (hickies, pda [smut or no smut idc]) and Tyler gets angry and then josh is angry and everybody’s angry but then it’s nice in the end              

Words: 2.9k

Warning: Swearing, small amount of things of sexual nature

Sum.: Request + you went to an award show with Josh and your brother, after the night ended with another "award" for Josh, Tyler is pissed at finding you covered in hickeys and such

A/N: I hope this is what the Anon in mind :), please let me know if this was smutty enough or if you wanted more, also in general please tell me how smutty I should/could go                                                                      

_______

Award shows had always been a tricky thing for you. You were invited along most times, Josh's plus one. And even though you didn't enjoy all the attention sometimes it felt good to get all dressed up and feel extra good about yourself. This time was no different. You had sat out the last two award shows and Josh had begged you to join them this time. You glanced one last time at yourself in the full length mirror that was hung up on the wall. Your floor length dress was a beautiful shade of dark blue that matched perfectly with Josh's suit jacket. "Ready?", Josh snaked an arm around your waist and smiled at you through the mirror. You nodded and turn towards him to press a kiss to his cheek.

You entered the car, closely followed by Josh who immediately sat on your dress. "You're going to make it wrinkly", you whined and slapped his shoulder before trying to pull it out from underneath him. His laughter roared through the car and he tried to stand up awkwardly to help you out. "Thanks", you muttered under your breath. When you were both properly seated Josh's hand grabbed yours and squeezed it slightly. You saw him smiling out of the corner of your eye but you knew this gesture. "It's fine Josh! They love you, you are going to win this damn award and I am one hundred thousand percent sure of that. You two worked so hard on this and it will pay off!", you spoke in a quiet and loving tone while squeezing his hand back. "You know me to well", a little chuckle left his mouth and he shook his head with a grin on his lips. You continued the rest of the car ride with only small talk trying to keep his mind of the imminent award show. But as soon as the car stopped you could feel his breathing speed up, a clear sign that he dreaded what was going to happen next. You knew exactly what situation was waiting for you out there, hundreds of paparazzi waiting to get their perfect picture of him and you, millions of questions and commands being thrown at you. Tyler and Jenna were a few cars behind you and so you were the first of the duo to arrive, to get bombarded by all the attention. You squeezed Josh's hand a last time and then let go of it. "Let's go Josh, let's get it behind us", you shuffled a little to be able to get out behind him in a few seconds. The door opened and your ears were filled with screams and yells. Josh left the car but leaned towards it with his right side, offering you his hand to hold while getting out. You got out of the car without stumbling and smiled at Josh before turning towards the screams. The next twenty minutes were going agonizingly slow but also were overwhelming. No matter how many times your boys had stood on the red carpet and no matter how many times you had done it, it would never stop to terrify and excite you at the same time. The blood was rushing through your veins and when you finally reached the private room for you all, adrenaline was still filling you. The smile dropped from you face trying to relax it a little, knowing your face would be stuck with a smile on it for the rest of the evening anyway. Josh sat down on the couch and sighed loudly. Tyler followed suit and threw his head back onto the headrest. Jenna appeared next to you and pulled you into a tight hug. "You look beautiful ", she whispered in your ear and smiled at you widely when she pulled back. "Oh yeah, says Mrs. Gorgeous over here", you laughed.

A few hours later there was only one category left before the one the boys were nominated in was being awarded. You took a sip of your water and felt Josh tense up next to you when the current winner went off the stage. He had one hand placed on you leg and he was tapping his fingers in a wild rhythm you didn't recognize. Tyler was sitting on your left side and kept glancing over at you and Josh but his head turned towards the stage when their category was called out. Both had their eyes fixed on the host and the tension at your table could have been cut with a knife. "And the winner is...", the voice that came out of the speakers made a dramatic pause and you held your breath in anticipation,"Twenty One Pilots" In a matter of milliseconds the boys jumped out of their seats just for Jenna and you to follow suit. You hugged Josh and kissed him quickly, congratulating him while doing so. When you turned around Tyler was already pulling you into a tight hug. "I am so unbelievably proud of you big bro", you hugged back tightly but pulled away quickly to let him walk towards the stage. While accepting the award their speech may or may not have caused you to cry a few tears of joy and pride. Jenna and you were standing with an arm around each other listening intently to what they were saying.

The rest of the award show went by in a flash and just like predicted a smile never left your face for the rest of the night. Your hand was intertwined with Josh's when you left the building on your way to the car. Tyler had reserved a table for all of you at a restaurant and so now you were trying to stuff four people in one car. Getting out of it at the restaurant was even more difficult then getting in which ended in a laughing fit of you and Jenna watching the boys trying to leave.

The table was out of the way of the others which provided a nice bit of privacy to you all. During the meal you felt Tyler's eyes on you whenever you and Josh would kiss each other quickly. You knew he wasn't a fan of PDA but on this night you were happy and proud which meant you just couldn't keep yourself away from Josh.

Even though Tyler had invited you to theirs for a celebratory drink Josh had quickly denied saying he felt a headache approach and that you would celebrate bigger at a later date. The drive back was silent, you were still trying to come down from the high that the night had put you on. When the car stopped at your shared apartment, Josh quickly payed the driver before grabbing your hand and pulling you outside the car towards him. You stumbled a little but tried to follow him as quickly as you could. He closed the door behind you and before you could even take your shoes of he had pushed you against it. "I thought you had a headache", you raised an eyebrow and smirked at him. As soon as he had met your eyes at that moment you had seen through his lie. "Not really, well it's not my actual head that is throbbing", his voice had deepened and it made a shiver run down your back. Your mouth fell open and you shook your head. "Josh!", you tried to sound shocked and slapped his shoulder playfully. "Sorry, you're just looking extra good tonight", he stepped a little closer and his mouth immediately found that little spot on your neck that made you melt. A moan fell from your mouth and your head automatically rolled to the side to give him more access. "I don't condone lying to my brother", he interrupted your sentence by kissing your neck again. You squeaked before continuing, "oh fuck it.". Your hands had previously rested on Josh's chest but were now eagerly pulling off his suit jacket. "Bedroom?", his voice sounded more like a growl by now and you nodded quickly.  

The bedroom door hadn't even closed when you felt the zipper of your dress being pulled down. As soon as your dress fell to the ground you were covered with kisses. You stepped out of your dress and got rid of your shoes. Your hands roamed Josh's chest, opening button after button agonizingly slow. He growled and opened your bra from the back while you tried to remove his dress shirt.

Moans, growls and screams filled the room for a while until you were laying next to each other panting and trying to catch your breath. "Fuck that was... Wow", you had to breath heavily in between. Josh chuckled at your words and pressed a kiss to your sweaty temple. You curled up slightly and snuggled into his side. His arm held you in place and you heard him slightly snoring in a matter of minutes, it didn't take you long to follow suit.

A sunbeam was shining directly in your face and woke you up. You rubbed you eyes and saw Josh lying next to you still asleep. Your stomach growled and so you slowly got up, trying to not disturb the sleeping man next to you. From the bedroom floor you picked up the pair of panties and Josh's dress shirt from the night before. You quickly pulled them on, only buttoning a few of the buttons of Josh's shirt. The tiled floor felt cold underneath your bare feet when you walked into the kitchen. Pancakes were probably the easiest to whip up on the spot especially since Josh loved them. You had finished cooking around half the batch when Josh hugged you from behind and pressed a kiss to your neck. "Morning babe", you could feel him smile against your skin when he stole a pancake and sat down at the breakfast bar next to the stove. "Morning to you too", you laughed and slid the syrup over the table towards him. Just when you returned to the stove the bell rang, indicating that someone was at the front door. "Use a plate", you said towards Josh while walking out of the kitchen and towards the door.

You pulled it open only a little, aware that you were only half dressed. "Tyler, hi", the awkward tone of your voice made you cringe at yourself. "Josh up yet?", he pushed open the door a little and stepped inside. "Kitchen", you said and hoped that he would walk straight past you giving yourself enough time to race to your bedroom and get dressed. He took a few steps down the hallway and then turned around towards you. "Y/N... What in the world are you wearing? ", he held a hand in front of his eyes and suddenly you were hyper aware of what you were looking like. You closed the door quickly and stepped towards him. "I'm just gonna change alright?", you said through gritted teeth and pushed past him. You knew the comments he would make, the guilt he would make you feel. You changed as quickly as you could but when you left your bedroom you could already hear him shouting at Josh, "She's my little sister Josh! What the fuck are you doing to her." "Tyler fucking hell we've been together for years by now when will you let it go", Josh sounded irritated and annoyed. You entered the room, walking towards the stove and turning it off, having lost your appetite for pancakes. "Doesn't make it any better that you are fucking the shit out of my sister", you could swear that he even made regurgitating sounds after his comment. "I thought you were finally okay with this.",you didn't have the strength anymore to scream over this.

You had done it too many times, you could still remember all the times this argument had come up like they were just yesterday. You and Josh had been dating for over two years by now and in the beginning it was incredibly difficult for Tyler to accept it. You had kept it a secret from him for a while, wanting to figure out if you two would work out together before breaking it to him but it only made him feel lied to. He wasn't okay with you dating his best friend, his band mate. He worried that if things didn't work out it would get too awkward with you being family and so being still involved with the band one way or another. He also worried that you would get hurt, not intentionally of course, but he knew from first hand experience that touring and having a significant other was difficult. All the long times away, only phone talks and having to worry for somebody halfway across the world was hard and painful at times. You used to fight about this a lot, at some point your were close to giving up and ending your relationship with Josh, but he always convinced you otherwise. It had been two years and even though it was hard at times you fought through it, you felt like it made your relationship even stronger. After a year of you and Josh dating Tyler had calmed down and even if he wasn't fully happy with it yet he had accepted the situation. Sometimes there were some snarky remarks but for the most part he didn't say anything and was even happy when he saw you two together happily. Sadly his yell interrupted your thought and pulled you back into the present. "She is covered in hickeys and scratches, are you an Animal?", you saw Tyler pointing a finger at you. You hadn't looked into a mirror yet but you believed him straight away. Josh wasn't looking much better anyway, thankfully Tyler couldn't see his back from where he was standing. "Fuck you Tyler!", you spat back at him and slapped his pointed finger. "You and Jenna aren't much better, I've seen her after a night with you and she does not look any different. You aren't innocent either.", your tone was cold and stern. "But you're my little sister and he is my best friends, that just disgusting. You're both like family", he shook his head and you couldn't tell if it was disappointment or anger in his eyes. "But we aren't! We aren't relate, he treats me very well and goddammit yes Tyler we have sex just like you and most other people in this world. You barged in here this morning, we didn't want you to see it. We don't want to taunt you with it, but you have to accept it", all anger left your body and the only thing you felt was sadness and disappointment. "And I ask you to leave if you want to talk this shit. Just get over it and accept us", your voice broke slightly towards the end and you had to bite your lip to stop it quivering. You walked to the front door in a fast pace and opened it widely, looking at Tyler and pointing towards it. "I love you but we don't want you here if you're going to act this way", Tyler slowly moved towards the door and looked at you with a sorry expression before walking out the door. At least he knew when to leave.

When the door closed you felt arms wrap around you and a kiss pressed to your head. "You know that he will be standing on the door step in a couple of hours to apologize right?", Josh had dropped his head on your shoulder and whispered into your ear. You slowly nodded. It's what he always did, always promises for it to have been the last time, that he would be okay with it now. And you would accept, obviously, family was one of the most important thing in your life.

It took a day this time for him to come back. The door bell rang, Josh had left the house earlier to go to the gym and so you were lounging in just some sweats on the couch. When you opened the door the look on his face could have said it all. "I'm sorry Y/N", he moved inside and took his shoes of. "I know I said the last time that I would be okay with it and I kind of was but yesterday I don't know. I guess it just rubbed me the wrong way.", he followed you into the living room and sat down next to you. "I should be the bigger one in this situation, I am the older one but I am just worried. I trust you two completely, sometimes I just...", he sighed and placed his head into his hands. "I am genuinely sorry for what I said yesterday and how I reacted. I was wrong, I want to try and keep my mouth shut if it should bother me again. I don't want to think about you two...you know doing that but please promise me to be safe", his cheeks had turned pinkish when he looked up and you could feel the awkward tension between you two. "It's okay Tyler. We are safe, in all ways. Josh is probably as good as a boyfriend could get, so please don't worry about us, he won't get rid of me that quickly.", you chuckled sightly and leaned on Tyler. "But you need to promise me to keep your thoughts about those concerns to yourself and let us be, please!", you sounded tired and almost defeated. "I promise, I promise on my spot as the favorite Joseph!", he wrapped his arms around you and you could feel his laugh roaring through your body. You shook your head and laughed with him, hopefully this would be last of theses conversations.

[chocolatemillkk]

Intimidated (JM)

Request: Can you do a jack Maynard imagine were he meets your parents and your older brother and sister and they get protective over there younger sister and question him and he admits he loves you and you overhear it all

"So?" I ask my boyfriend. We wait on the platform for the train to take us to my parent's home on the outskirts of the west end, where I grew up. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," Jack nods but I notice the way he clutches his duffel bag tighter than normal.

I lean my arm on his shoulder and bring my face closer to his. "You sure? My siblings can be a little intimidating. I just want to give you fair warning."

"I'm sure it's alright," Jack bluffs. "We've been dating for six months now so-"

"Oh," I laugh, cutting him off. "My college boyfriend in second year. We dated for a year before he came around and my sister got her claws so deep he literally avoided me for a week before I had to pull it out of him."

"Wow," Jack breaths as our train comes into the station and to a stop. The cart is pretty empty and we find a row of seats to ourselves.

"You're tougher than him though," I push his shoulder with mine.

"I am?" Jack responds.

"Yeah," I kiss his cheek and he turns to look at me. We gaze at each other like it was our first date and the anticipated kiss was finally happening; but with Jack, it was like that. Every time I saw him after a day of work, or woke to him on any morning, my breath would catch for a second. I felt like I was falling for him for the first time every damn day.

"Something on my face?" I ask with a teasing smile, not breaking eye contact with Jack.

"Yeah, actually there is." Jack leans in so our foreheads touch. "Such beauty."

I throw my head back and laugh, not minding the other strangers on the train. "You're full of shite!" I exclaim.

Jack chuckles, "It's one of the many charming qualities you love, isn't it?"

My laugh dies down as I shake my head. The L-word makes the moment tense and Jack quickly catches on. We hadn't said it to each other yet, which may have been weird...but I couldn't tell. I'd had boyfriends who said it two months into dating and others who'd taken a few more. I wasn't worried because I knew we were very much in love. But not hearing it also made me quite uneasy, especially when Jack used the word so casually as he joked.

After a moment, Jack puts his arm around me and I rest my head on his shoulder. We stay that way, comfortably snug like pieces of a two-person puzzle until the last stop is called and we have to grab our bags to exit.

"That's my brother's car!" I shout as we leave the station, I recognised the ugly shade of blue anywhere. "Ben!"

"Y/N," my brother spots us, a smile blooming on his face. We shared the same smile and the same gap in our teeth but Ben looked nothing like me otherwise. "The last time I saw you-"

"I was in diapers," I finish my brother's famous line. Anytime more than a month went by, it was criminal of me not to have seen him.

"Hey," Jack says as my brother and him do the hand-grabbing, back-thumping hug.

"If you two actually hugged, how many inches would your masculinity shrink?" I say.

"Oi," my brother ruffles my hair. "There are children around."

"Really?" I open the car door, expecting Ben's step-daughter inside but find no one.

"Yes, you're the abnormally tall child. Now get in." Ben gets into his driver's seat and I hop into the passenger, shooting Jack a questioning smile. He flashes me an I'm okay so I settle in, flipping through the radio stations.

"So...Jack," Ben starts as we head to our family home. "How do you put up with this crazy one all the time?"

Jack laughs awkwardly and I can tell my brother is checking him out in the rearview. "You should ask how she puts up with my crazy really." Jack responds.

My brother laughs and I let out a small sigh in relief, knowing Jack was in Ben's good books for now. The formal interrogation would start later.

"How's the family?" I ask Ben.

"Great, not that you ever visit."

I flick Ben on his arm in response.

"The wife's at work though so you might only see her tomorrow," Ben continues.

We talk some more about his step-daughter who was only two and a half and Jack joins in on family as we drive to our own.

•••

My mother loves Jack as soon as she meets him and my dad eyes his nose ring but warms up to him after he mentions that his dad attended the same university as him-my dad still had a few of his school paraphernalia mixed with our own school photos and family vacation snapshots.

My sister Amy, on the other hand, gives him a warm and welcome smile but I was used to her routine. She was sweet but cautious, eyeing him while he talked to my dad.

"Doesn't seem your type," my sister says after. We wait for the kettle to boil in the kitchen while everyone gets to know one another in the living room.

"What are we gossipping about?" Ben joins us.

"Not gossipping, Amy was just being judgmental again." I roll my eyes.

"He's good looking, I'll give him that." Amy continues.

"Y/N lands a pretty boy," Ben agrees. "Not her usual type."

"That's literally what I just said," Amy looks at me but I'm saved by the kettle and begin pouring out my cup of tea.

"Does Jack take sugar?" Amy says his name like he was a school crush and Ben snorts.

"How are you two older than me?" I ask.

"We're teasing," my sister says. "We love you and he clearly makes you happy-we see that."

"We just don't know him," Ben finishes.

"Well then get to know him," I walk out and miss the look the two exchange.

"Oh thanks love," Jack takes the tea from me and makes room for me to sit.

"Dinner is in an hour!" My mom exclaims.

"If was a long ride," I use as an excuse but she huffs and goes into the kitchen.

"How is it being a Youtuber?" Amy asks eventually.

"As if you haven't watched his videos," I tease.

"I want the bts!" Amy shrugs and we laugh.

They talk some more and it's pleasant enough that I feel like I could leave Jack alone with them. The day was taking a toll on me.

I pat his leg and head to the kitchen to see if dinner needed an extra pair of hands. My mom shoos me off and recruits my dad for help so I sit on the stairway and scroll through my phone for a bit. That is, until I hear the inevitable.

"So what are your actual intentions with our sister?" I hear Ben ask. I put down my phone and strain to listen, ready to move in at any second.

"Uh-"

"Because if you plan to hurt her, maybe string her along for a few months and-"

"I would never," Jack gets in.

"Good," both my siblings echo.

"You two have been going out for...?"

"Six months or so," I hear Jack's strained voice.

"Hm," Amy says. "You two don't live together right?"

"Not yet," Jack says and my heart skips a beat. He wanted us to? We'd never talked about it but I spent most weekends at his place anyway.

"Soon?" My brother asks.

"I hope," Jack chuckles. "I'm serious about your sister bro. I would never hurt her-you can trust me on that. She means everything to me."

My heart melts at Jack's words.

"She knows this?" Amy asks.

"Well-yeah..." Jack trails off.

"Y/N is our baby sister," Amy reitterates. "So we want what's best for her."

"Nothing against you," I hear Ben say. "But if you hurt her in any way-"

I get up from my seat and walk to the bottom of the stairs. It was getting heated and I was a second from moving in.

"Listen," I pause when I hear Jack's voice. "I don't know what I would do if I ever lost Y/N. She really is everything to me. I-I love her."

I'm glad my hand was gripping the banister so hard because I almost fall over hearing those words I'd waited to hear but trusted were there.

"Y/N/N," a small voice calls out. I was so engrossed in the conversation happening in the living room I hadn't noticed my niece standing at the top of the stairs. She rubs her sleepy eyes and stares at me.

"Ohh you're awake!" I scoop her up and place her on my hip. "Let's go distract dad from scaring my boyfriend off okay?"

She blinks slowly at me and buries her sleepy face into my shoulder as I walk to where the interrogation was going down.

Ben jumps out of his seat as soon as he sees us and takes his daughter from me. Amy gives me a mischevious smile as she says something about dinner and exits. I'm left with Jack alone.

"You weren't lying about how intimidating-"

"You love me." I interrupt Jack. "You love me?"

"You heard that," Jack gets up.

"The last bits," I say.

Jack rubs my arms. "I feel like you already know it. I don't know why I never said it out loud-I was scared you might not feel the same way. But yeah, I love you. Like crazy."

I cup Jack's face, "When did you know?"

"A couple months ago," Jack curls my hair behind my ear. "It was a Saturday morning. You were complaining about my shower or something and you were wearing your shorts and a tank top while you braided your hair. I was still in bed-it was 8am-but you were buzzing about with all this energy but then you crawled back into bed with me and put your head on my chest and I knew it then."

I bite my lip to keep from tearing up but Jack knows me too well because he swipes at my eyes.

"I love you too," I say and Jack's smiles in relief. "I knew it a few months ago-on my birthday-when you got piss drunk and then tried to seduce me at Conor's while he attempted to sing Beyonce."

"That's a terrible moment to fall in love with somebody," Jack groans.

"It's part of the charm," I smile as I lean in and kiss him.

"And that's what you love about me?" Jack remembers the moment from the train.

"Mhm," I hum and tiptoe as Jack kisses me again.

"Should I turn around and pretend I didn't see this or act casual?" My dad's voice behind us interrupts the moment.

I turn, blushing, and give my dad a look. "The third option-make everything awkward!"

Jack laughs as does my dad but I roll my eyes and grab Jack's hand.

"We'll be out back," I drag Jack with me as we step outside, away from my overwhelming family for just a small moment of privacy.

[pinksausageduo]

our night, our memories

member: lai guanlin  genre: fluff summary: you go on a trip to taipei with your favourite group of 11 guys but of course a trip is nothing without a little romance, a confession and swimming at midnight requested: yes

you couldn’t believe it you were on a plane to taipei 

especially with your favourite group of 11 guys 

you brightly grin at one of your best friends, guanlin 

and he gives you his signature gummy smile, you could see how happy he was to return to his hometown

“we’re grinning like idiots you know?” you say jokingly

“do i care? nope. i’m on a plane with my favourite girl in the world to my favourite place in the world” he says brightly

you blush at his words feeling super gooey

you scold yourself, no y/n he means it as a friend nothing more

you look around and see the ruckus the guys were making

all the guys and you were all on a school trip to taipei

everyone taking the language courses gets to go on a trip 

guanlin basically made all his hyungs and of course you sign up to go to taipei, no one could resist his begging and puppy dog eyes

luckily no one else had signed up to go to taipei and since you were such a small group, they assigned jisung, one of the TAs and basically the mum of the group to look after you all during the trip

you were over the moon when you found out it'll only be the 12 of you

but even with all of your excitement, you were exhausted

you had 2 exams the day of your departure and you studied all night cramming all the information in

you didn’t realise but you dozed off, accidentally ending up with your head leaning on guanlin’s shoulder

guanlin slightly jumped as he felt your head on his shoulder

he smiled sweetly at the sight of you sleep, he made sure not to disrupt your sleep knowing how exhausted you were

as you slept, you snored lightly making him chuckle at how adorable you were

and of course seongwoo filmed you for blackmail material

you also drooled a little but instead of being disgusted at it, guanlin made sure to wipe it off with a tissue

he was glad he could take care of you for once since you always took care of you

seongwoo, daniel and jaehwan like the cheeky immature pricks they were

turned to face you sleeping and guanlin and basically made kissy faces at you two before singing teasingly

“guanlin and y/n sitting in the tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g”

just imagine jaehwan singing that like super nicely ugh i love his voice sm

you half woke up from their annoying antics and was pissed off since they disturbed you you know that state where you’re awake but you’re not yeah that’s the state you were in

you threw a pillow and seongwoo’s face then retorted half pissed off half amused

“we are on a plane not a tree, and does it look like i’m kissing guanlin i’m sleeping you blind immature brats”

guanlin muttered under his breath “i wish we were kissing”

you accidentally heard and blushed so red, he didn’t realise you heard

your mind was going haywire

you liked him so much you have for so long and he likes you

WHAT DO I DO?? you brain was basically screaming 

you were snapped out of your thoughts by seongwoo saying in a baby like voice “oooo y/n getting angry, us three leave” 

then the three of them slowly lower themselves into their seats still smirking at you two and of course jaehwan winked at you 

you groan and curse them under your breath 

then you suddenly realise you were on guanlin’s shoulder 

you blush again realising that your crush likes you back feeling ecstatic and so happy

you were completely over the moon

“y/n? earth to y/n?” guanlin said softly while waving his hand in front of your face did you see what i did there ;)

“oh sorry, i was just thinking but what’s up?” you say as casually as possible trying not to blurt your confession out

internally you decided just to leave it until the end of the trip and you could tell him then

“oh i was just going to say, you should sleep you’re exhausted i know how much you studied for those exams.” he said in a caring and loving tone making your heart flutter

“thanks guanlin i will” you sweetly reply 

“by the way if you want to sleep on my shoulder it’s fine, it’s actually really comfy” he says blushing make you feel all giddy 

and you nod and smile back at him and lean your head on his shoulder and before you knew it you were asleep

you woke up and went through all the security regulations

sungwoon the whole time was talking about all the places we should go 

“we should go to taipei 101!! apparently the view is amazing and plus i need more aesthetic pictures for my instagram”

“gosh sungwoon could you get any more superficial” minhyun said teasingly

“hey! i’m not the one who stares at the mirror all day and tell myself how handsome i am?!” sungwoon retorted

“no i don’t, i clean the mirrors not admire myself in them, but you always do that and so does jinyoung, eh and jihoon occasionally” minhyun replied nonchalantly

“why the hell are you bringing us into your argument?!” jinyoung and jihoon chorused

“it’s trueeee” daehwi adding cutely

“guys we’re holding up the line hurry the hell up, do the bickering later” woojin said rolling his eyes at his friends

you laugh at all their petty arguments thinking they’re adorable but knowing they all love each other so much

you guys arrive at the hotel and you’re so happy because you’re the only one who doesn’t have to share a room because you’re the only girl

you all end up showering, getting dressed and settling in and it was already dinner time

all the guys gathered in your room, everyone trying to decide what they want to eat, which just ends up as one huge argument

“i want fried chicken!!” jihoon said brightly 

“yah! are you crazy we’re in taipei and you want fried chicken??!” exclaimed jisung continued saying

“we’re supposed eat the regional food you know, like dumplings”

“ooo could we go to like some bubble tea place” daehwi said excitedly

“we need to eat dinner you know, i’d like to have some seafood, or sushi, i’m craving sushi” minhyun added 

“can’t we eat noodles?” woojin whined

“i want noodles as well!!” agreed sungwoon 

“well after dinner i want ice cream!” jinyoung said like a 5 year old

“i want to eat meat” seongwoo and jaehwan shouted adding to the bickering and to the noise level

“i just want a sandwich with ketchup and a beer” daniel said seriously

making all of us turn to him in wtf are you saying look

which resulted him into shrugging “what it tastes good??”

“EVERYONE WE’LL GO TO ONE OF THE NIGHT MARKETS OKAY??!!” 

you shouted grabbing everyone’s attention

guanlin brightened up at that idea and explained to the group

“the night market’s here are amazing!! they’ll definitely have the bubble tea and ice cream, they have this special beef which they light on fire and it tastes sooooo good. they have really good noodles and dumplings and there will be a couple places which serve some sushi, and chicken but probably not a ketchup sandwich sorry daniel hyung” he ended with a cheeky smile at daniel

to which daniel responded by pouting and crossing his arms like a child

“great idea y/n, gosh if you haven't suggested that we’d be here for hours” jisung said gratefully smiling at you

you smiled back and said “chop chop come on people!”

the night markets were super fun, all of you ate so much, bought clothes and different souvenirs and items

there was a few times when someone went missing but in the end it was one of the best nights of your life

you got matching sunglasses with guanlin

“put these on, you’ll look so swag” you said teasingly handing him the sunglasses

“oh gosh stop i said swag one time and you’re gonna tease me forever” he groaned while putting on the sunglasses

“damn you look good” you said appreciatively and he blushed cutely

he also puts it on you and you model it for him and he laughs and says

“you look gorgeous with them, you always look gorgeous though so not much difference” he said feeling brave but instantly hating himself for saying it

cursing himself why why why did i say that???? i probably made it sooo awkward

you feel extremely happy he said that but also super flustered and you stutter out a quick thank you

he quickly defuses the situation by buying the two sunglasses but the cashier makes it worse by saying

“aw such a cute couple item!!” 

you and him look at each other super embarrassed but you couldn’t help your huge smile and you look at him where you can see him smiling broadly 

and feeling a burst of courage you lightly hold his hand and say thank you to the cashier

he looks at you in shock and you give him a shy smile

you tug at his hand and you both joined the group 

woojin was the only one noticing you guys holding hands in the group of crowded people and whispered into guanlin’s ear knowing he hadn’t confessed yet

“take her to the rooftop pool, it’s heated and it’ll be a perfect place to confess to her, if you book it late at night it’ll only cost about $50” 

$50 you rich boi i'm broke af 

guanlin blushes at the thought of you in a swimsuit and confessing to you

teenage boys am i right? but he’s still a cutie

he thanks woojin gratefully and woojin just says “anytime little bro”

“i’m taller than you” guanlin says laughing softly

“details, details, details” woojin waved him off and left you two alone

you didn’t notice them talking admiring the colourful stalls and all the wonderful smells

anyways everyone went back to their rooms with a huge smile, you couldn’t sleep because of the time difference so when around 12 someone knocked on your door you opened it and saw guanlin 

you were in pyjama shorts, a loose t shirt and your hair back messily with a green face mask on 

even then guanlin thought you looked stunning 

you felt so embarrassed at your appearance and said “what are you doing here so late?”

“uhhhh i want to show you somewhere, wear a swimsuit, we’re going swimming” he says in the most confident tone he can muster

your heart races and you say to him “i’ll be right back, make yourself comfortable”

you quickly wash off the face mask put on your swimsuit and a flowy dress over it, and grab a towel

you see guanlin sprawled over your bed and you hit him lightly 

“oh that was quick let’s go” he says 

you head up to the rooftop and you gasp as you see the huge pool

it was an infinity pool, looking over all of taipei and no one was there

you took off your dress and set your towel down on one of the seat feeling a bit self conscious you wrap your arms around your waist

you head towards the pool and you dip your foot, relaxing when it was nice and warm

guanlin just stared at you the whole time, feeling super happy that you liked the pool, also admiring how gorgeous you were, promising to buy woojin a meal for the suggestion

he took off his shirt and set it down near your stuff

you look at the beautiful view and you turn your head around in shock and happiness and face guanlin

your cheeks heat up as you see him shirtless showing off his toned body, you ignore all the butterflies and you say to guanlin “this must of cost a lot, to book the pool out??!!” you exclaim

“who said i booked it?” he says cheekily 

“the sign where it says booked” you retorted snorting

not answering he cannonballs into the pool drenching you head to toe

you look at him in disbelief and he just smirks back making you scream

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU LAI GUANLIN!!”

you equally cannonball into the pool splashing him

before you could process what was happening

he grabbed your waist and as an automated reaction you wrapped your legs around his torso and your arms around his neck

and suddenly you were eye to eye, noses nearly touching and guanlin smiles your favourite gummy smile 

“if you haven’t noticed, i like you a lot, and i know i make my mistakes and i have my flaws but y/n will you be my girlfriend” he whispers intimately but nervously

you couldn’t help yourself but gently press your pink wet lips on his soft ones

feeling like fireworks were going off in your stomach as he gently kissed you again and again

until you were both breathless

you loved the kisses they were slow and sweet just like you two

you realise you didn’t actually reply to his confession so you say sweetly

“of course i’ll be your girlfriend guanlin, we’ll get through everything together like we always have.”

“thank you for making this an amazing night” he says softly while kissing your forehead

“no thank you for making these unforgettable memories with me” you say in reply still feeling amazing at the fact you were guanlin’s girlfriend

you both stare at the gorgeous city sky line with his arm wrapped around your shoulder and you leaning into his chest he whispers into your ear

“this is our night, our memories, always and forever” 

sorry this took so long to make!! my draft didn’t save so i had to retype a lot. also it was so hard to find a gif suited for this scenario cause like do i do gummy smile guanlin, or super cool guanlin. i chose gummy smile guanlin. CAUSE I LOVE HIS SMILES. like tbh guanlin is so nice to write for idek why. ANYWAYS hope you enjoyed the fluff, as always leave me a message or an anon for feedback or just to text!

[onemuseleft]

Voltron fic, PG, 1/1

Title: Untitled platonic cuddling fic Pairing: Keith/Lance, Lance & Hunk friendship, Keith & Hunk & Lance friendship Rated: PG for general horny Keith and some mild language Warnings: None Word Count: 3632 Summary: Keith’s just getting used to the whole “committed relationship” thing and the whole “family” thing but he’s pretty sure he likes it. In other news, Hunk’s having a rough night, Lance is a good bro and Keith is learning how to have what he wants.

Dedicated to @maplerosekisses who prompted me for platonic bedsharing and Keith/Lance.

Thanks to @musicalluna and @humantrampoline85 for proof reading and general hand-holding.

****

It was later than expected when Keith finished on the training deck.

He checked the time as the droids shut down with a soft hum that that other Paladins swore they couldn’t hear. It was past midnight, ship-time, which means he’d lost track of time more than three hours ago. How did one more round always turn into a multi-hour combat scenario?

He sent the droids back to the storage units and grabbed his things off the floor. It wasn’t all that late, comparatively and if he hurried Lance might still be awake. He’d wait up for Keith sometimes and Keith could slip into bed next to him, sheets already warm, and tangle their legs together under the covers as he sank into Lance’s arms.

Keith was pretty sure if he’d known how good it felt to know someone was waiting for you he’d have given this whole “committed relationship” thing a shot before now.

He hesitated for a moment outside the showers, but he hadn’t brought anything with him and the Altean all-purpose soap stuff made his hair frizz up and his skin feel stiff, which always made Lance scrunch up his nose. He could just run back to his room and grab a few things - or if Lance was still awake, Keith could shower at home and possibly convince Lance to give him a hand. A wet, slippery hand.

Anticipation thrummed low in his belly and he grinned. Yeah, he should have tried this out much sooner.

He didn’t quite jog through the halls on his way back to his room, but his workout hadn’t tired him out so much as revved his engine. He wanted to fight a little more, he wanted to run, he wanted to get his blood up even hotter than it already was. Or even better, he could really go for a fuck, Lance’s hands holding him down and the stretch and burn in Keith’s thighs as he pulled Lance in closer, harder. He paused outside the door to their room and pulled in a deep breath through his teeth, already half hard just from the thought of it and fervently hoping Lance hadn’t gone to sleep already.

Maybe he wouldn’t mind being woken up. Keith grinned at the thought of Lance, sleep-soft and warm-skinned, how his eyes would go dark and hazy as Keith touched him. Shit. He hit the palm plate that would open the door, and stepped into an empty room.

It took a second to scan the room, but it was definitely empty and there was no sign Lance had been there for a while - his jacket was gone and his nightly moisturizing regimen didn’t appear to have been started.

Keith dropped his jacket over the back of a chair and ran a hand through his hair, wincing a little as cooling drops of sweat dripped onto his neck and shoulders. Well, all right, so much for that plan.

He gave a brief thought to going to look for Lance, but that seemed too much. Keith was a lot more comfortable with the relationship thing and the intimacy thing than he had been a year ago when they first started this, but tracking Lance down in front of their friends and dragging him home for sex was… probably a little too much for Keith to deal with. Especially if Lance was with Coran. Keith kind of already felt like Coran was one shotgun wedding away from embracing the role of Lance’s over-protective step-father or something. He really, really didn’t want to imagine trying to convince Lance to come home and shower with him under Coran’s knowing eyes.

Even worse was the very real possibility that Coran would realize what Keith was doing and go all winky and nudgey about it. Shiro had done that once and Keith had almost choked on his own tongue.

He showered quickly and rinsed out his workout gear, leaving it to hang on what he had always assumed was a towel rack, although Alteans had glass-enclosed tubes that shot out hot air to basically blow-dry your entire body, so who even knew what they’d need with towels. He ran his fingers through his hair to work out any lingering tangles and used some of Lance’s face lotion because Lance always got weirdly hot when he realized Keith was using his beauty products.

Also it really felt nice, but Keith would probably eat hot coal before he’d admit that.

It was past one now and still no Lance. Keith hesitated, wondering if going to look for him would be needy or clingy, then deciding if it was then Lance could just tell him to shove off. It was a lot later than Lance usually came to bed - Keith was just going to check and make sure everything was alright.

That was acceptable boyfriend behavior right? He could go see if Lance was ready for bed and if he wasn’t then he could offer to keep him company and if Lance didn’t want company he could come back and get some sleep for once.

Right. He was overthinking this again.

Shiro always told him when he was overthinking the social stuff to just start with the basics. All right. The basics were that he wanted to see Lance. So. That’s what he was gonna do. He’d tackle the rest as it came.

But the kitchen was empty, and the main room, and the bridge. Keith checked under the consoles, just in case Lance had fallen asleep watching the stars again, but all he found was the mice, curled up in a corner under the command console in a big heap. The littlest one chirped at him sleepily before rolling over and going back to sleep.

Technically Lance still had his own room, so Keith headed there next. He felt weird at the thought that Lance might be in there, like a rock in his stomach, sick but not. Lance hadn’t slept in his own (old) room in months and Keith wasn’t so stupid at this relationship thing to not know that Lance going off to sleep by himself all of a sudden was a problem. He hesitated a long moment outside the door to Lance’s old room before he rolled his eyes at himself, wiped his palms on the thighs of his jeans, and palmed the door open.

The room was still and empty in a way that places got when no one had been in them for a while. Keith blew out a heavy breath, more relieved than he really knew what to do with and backed out of the room.

All right, so where the hell was Lance?

“Are you glaring at the door for a reason or is this just what you do when you’re wandering the halls at night like an insomniac housecat?”

Keith frowned over his shoulder. “I am not a housecat. And I’m not glaring.”

Pidge offered him a crooked grin. “Oh, Keith. I don’t know which of your self-delusions to shatter first. Seriously though, you’re blocking the hall. Move it.”

He took a hasty step to the side. Her eyes had dark crescents underneath them and she was getting that general air of cheerful amusement brought on by hard core sleep deprivation. The last time he’d seen her like that she’d actually fallen asleep during combat practice. Shiro had flipped her onto the mat and she’d fallen asleep so fast Shiro had been convinced he’d hurt her. Lance and Hunk had dragged her off to bed, laughing about how she’d done the same thing in school while Shiro followed them, threatening them all with curfews and bed checks. “Have you seen Lance?”

She blinked at him slowly. “Not recently?” She didn’t sound entirely certain about that. “Um. He said something about looking for Hunk after dinner, so I’d start there.”

“Thanks.” He waited for her to pass. “You should probably sleep,” he added, just in case she’d been planning to head back to her workshop or something.

“For a couple days at least,” she agreed. “But I’m gonna settle for about ten hours, because that’s how long it’ll take my program to compile. Tell your boyfriend that if he wakes me before lunch I will make him regret it.”

Considering that Lance wasn’t usually inclined to get up before lunch himself unless he had to, she was probably safe. “I’ll keep him out of your way.”

She leered at him briefly, which was almost as bad as Coran doing it. “Yeah, I bet you will.”

“Okay, I’m just going to…” Keith flailed briefly, because he really was no good at this. He wasn’t used to people teasing him for good reasons and it still made him a little uncomfortable that the whole damn team knew his personal business. “I’m gonna go. You should sleep. A lot.”

She waved a hand at him and yawned so hard her jaw cracked. “Yeah, that’s the plan. You go do whatever angry house cats do after midnight.”

Hunk’s door was closed and Keith hesitated a second, shooting a glance down the hall as Pidge’s door slid shut behind her. Was it too late to be knocking on people’s doors? Pidge had told him to check with Hunk, but Pidge was not in a position to be mocking Keith’s sleeping habits and was therefore unreliable in this instance. Was this rude? What if Hunk was asleep? He was going to be pissed - well, Hunk-pissed, which was still nicer than Keith on a good day - if Keith just woke him up to bug him about Lance, right?

Shiro’s voice prodded at the back of his mind again, reminding him not to overthink things so much. Keith contemplated how hard it would be to kick himself in the head, then raised his hand to knock.

The door slid open beneath his hands almost before his knuckled made contact with the metal, so no one had bothered to turn on the privacy locks. Keith hesitated for a second, then stepped inside.

Hunk’s room looked like it could do double-time as an electronics store. There were coils of wire and sheets of insulating foam stacked in the corner and on the shelves, and the table across from the bed was covered with wires and bits of metal and what looked like a massive pair of bolt cutters. Hunk had a workshop that he shared with Pidge, but Keith knew he liked to fuss around with smaller, non-essential projects in his downtime. Lance said he liked to tinker, which was probably a good way to put it. Little things to keep his hands busy and his mind focused, which Keith could totally understand.

There was only one light on in the room, the soft yellow reading light by the bed. Hunk and Lance were curled up on top of the blankets, Lance slumped half-upright against the headboard. Hunk, snoring softly, was curled up beside him with his head resting on Lance’s chest and his arms wrapped around Lance’s waist. One of Lance’s arms was draped over Hunk’s shoulders, the other rested palm-up on the blankets beside him. Lance’s mouth was turned down at the corners in a tired frown and his brow was furrowed even in sleep.

Keith couldn’t help the reluctant smile that tugged at his mouth. Even asleep Lance was worrying about Hunk. Keith wished, fleetingly, that there was something he could do to help them both, but they all had demons now and nothing he could do would change that. He started to back out of the room and leave them in peace when Lance shivered, shoulders hunching as he tried to curl in on himself without dislodging Hunk.

Alright, so there was something Keith could fix.

He ducked into Hunk’s closet and found an extra blanket amongst what looked like a couple dozen computer hard drives and roughly five thousand pillows (he’d thought Lance was bad). He carefully shook it out and took it over to the bed, slowly draping it over his two sleeping teammates, tucking it around Hunk’s shoulders and pulling one corner up to cover Lance’s chest and shoulder as much as possible without covering Hunk’s entire head.

Up close it was obvious Hunk had been crying, his skin flushed and salt drying on his cheeks. Keith touched his shoulder briefly, swallowing a pang of regret. Of all of them, he thought Hunk was least suited to the life they were currently living. He wished he could do something to spare him - spare all of them, if he could, he knew Lance and Pidge hurt too, and Shiro maybe more than Keith could even know - from the nightmares and the pain of war. He felt a now-familiar pang of guilt that he was happier here than he’d ever been on Earth and pushed it away. That didn’t help anyone and he couldn’t change things anyway.

He hesitated for a moment, then reached out to carefully brush his thumb against Lance’s bottom lip, carefully tracing the soft downward curve of it. He felt silly as soon as he’d done it; Lance was asleep and couldn’t get any comfort from the touch, and anyway it wasn’t like he could just wipe away the feelings that had Lance’s mouth twisted into a frown.

Christ, emotions made people stupid sometimes.

That didn’t stop him from ghosting the backs of his fingers over Lance’s cheek before he pulled away, but he managed to stop himself from doing anything even more overtly sentimental. Instead he smoothed the blanket over them one last time and turned to leave them in peace.

He realized there was something under his foot just as it snapped under his weight with a sharp crack. Keith winced as Hunk’s snoring broke off into a sleepy grumble. Way to go, Kogane, very smooth. Very stealthy.

He checked over his shoulder, hoping they’d slept through it, but Lance was already stirring. He yawned and stretched a little, blinking in the dim light. “Keith?”

“Hey.” Keith kept his voice pitched low, barely above a whisper. Hunk wasn’t snoring but he hadn’t stirred either. Maybe he hadn’t woken them both. “Sorry. It was late, so I just wanted to check on you.”

Lance yawned again. His eyes were only half open and he was clearly not all the way awake. “What time is it? Did I miss you?”

Keith let himself smile a little bit. “No, but I missed you when you didn’t come to bed. I know you need your beauty sleep.”

“I’m already beautiful,” Lance said, a little reproachfully, which - half asleep as he was - was kind of adorable. “I meant to be home when you got back, but I didn’t want to leave Hunk.” He patted his hand gently against Hunk’s back, rubbed a little between his shoulder blades like he was soothing a dog or - or well, maybe a baby? Keith had never soothed a baby but it probably worked the same way. “What time is it?”

“Around one, ship-time.” Keith bit his tongue. Of course it was ship-time, what other time was there?” “Go back to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

Lance made a sound that Keith could only generously describe as a whine. “Where are you going?”

“To sleep.” Keith hesitated, then walked back to the side of the bed so he could keep his voice low. “And so should you. Get some rest.”

Lance reached out and caught Keith’s wrist with his free hand, long fingers curling against Keith’s skin. His grip was loose, easily broken, but Keith held himself very still so as not to jostle him loose. “Stay?” Lance asked. He tugged on Keith’s wrist. “I like the way it sounds when you breathe,” Lance said. “I can’t sleep without it anymore. Keep waking up looking for you.” His eyes were drooping shut, but he tugged on Keith’s wrist again. “Stay. I’m cold and your room is too far away.”

Keith wasn’t one hundred percent certain on the social protocol here, but he was pretty sure you couldn’t invite someone into a bed that wasn’t yours. He twisted his hand in Lance’s grasp, meaning to pull away, but instead found himself taking Lance’s hand in his and threading their fingers together.

“Yeah, okay.” He toed his boots off before he could start second-guessing himself and dropped his jacket over the back of Hunk’s chair. The knife he left in its sheath and slid it beneath the pillow while Lance watched him with a sleepy smile.

“Gonna protect us,” he said, brushing his hand over Hunk’s hair. He yawned so wide his jaw popped and squirmed a little as Keith climbed onto the bed beside him. “We’ll protect you, too.”

“I know that, idiot,” Keith said.  Lance curled into him as he settled on the bed, his head heavy on Keith’s shoulder, his breath warm and tickling slightly against Keith’s throat. Keith wrapped one arm around Lance’s waist to hold him close and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Go to sleep.”

Lance tipped his head back for a kiss.

Keith gave him a vaguely outraged look and stared pointedly at Hunk’s sleeping form.

Lance just rolled his eyes at him and leaned up as much as he could without jostling Hunk, pressing a soft kiss against the corner of Keith’s mouth. “Thank you for checking on me.”

“I’ll always look for you,” Keith said, which wasn’t quite what he’d meant to say, but was more true than most of the things he could have said.

“You know, some guys wouldn’t be so chill about finding their boyfriend asleep with another man.” Lance grinned, eyes sparkling a little. He was more awake than he had been a minute ago, but his voice was still low, the words soft around the edges.

“You’re not the type,” Keith said, because it was true. Keith could certainly be the jealous type, he definitely had that in him and it had reared its head once or twice, but never because of something Lance had done. For all his ladykiller nonsense and his nearly constant, truly reprehensible flirting, Lance was pretty faithful at his core - to his team, to his family and to whatever lucky idiot he  happened to have chosen to bestow his affections on. “And even if you were, Hunk isn’t. And frankly, even if he was, I knew what you two were like before I started dating you. He has first dibs.”

“Don’t you forget it,” Hunk said, words muffled slightly against Lance’s shirt. “Are you two done? This is cuddle-Hunk-to-sleep time, not talk-about-our-relationship time.”

Lance laughed. “If you’re awake, move your ass so I can get comfortable. My back is going to break in half if I have to stay like this much longer.”

Hunk grumbled but shifted and for a minute it was all kicking legs and flailing arms and blankets and sheets getting tugged back and forth. There was some enthusiastic pillow fluffing going on in there too that sent Keith scrambling to his feet to give them room. He hesitated a little, not sure if he was meant to stay now that Hunk was awake, but when the dust settled Hunk was sprawled on his stomach with his face in his pillow and Lance was stretched out beside him with a little strip of bed left for Keith. “Come on,” Lance said, holding the blanket up in clear invitation. “You have to stay. Hunk’s a blanket hog, so you have to keep me warm or I’ll freeze when he inevitably wraps himself up like a burrito.”

“These are my blankets,” Hunk said. “It’s not hogging if they’re mine. And I only do it because you get handsy in your sleep.”

“I do not!”

“You really do,” Keith said. He slid under the blankets, checked to make sure his knife hadn’t been knocked away during the rearranging. “I kind of like it, though.”

Lance gave him a look of outrage mingled with betrayal. “I hate you.”

Keith would have believed him once. But Lance’s body was loose and relaxed next to his, and when he turned on his side and held his arm up Lance came willingly, pressed up along his chest. Keith looped an arm over Lance’s waist, let his hand rest lightly on Hunk’s back. Not too personal, but enough to remind Hunk he wasn’t alone.

Hunk snaked one arm over Lance’s waist as well and curled his fingers into the neckline of Keith’s shirt. “Well, I love you both, so shut the hell up and go to sleep.”

Lance huffed, but Keith could feel the way his mouth curled into a smile against Keith’s throat. “Bet you’re sorry you came looking now, aren’t you?”

This was not at all what Keith had envisioned for his evening when he’d left the gym but somehow despite his earlier plans, he didn’t regret how the night had turned out. “Of course not,” he said.

“I love you guys, too,” he said much later, when the room was quiet with the sound of Hunk’s snores and Lance’s breath was soft and deep against Keith’s skin, and they couldn’t hear him. “If I’d known you guys were waiting for me, I’d have come a lot sooner.” He thought of Pidge a few rooms away, and Shiro in the opposite direction, both of them hopefully resting quietly. He thought of Allura and Coran a few levels above. He thought of the lions, and the way his teammates thoughts sometimes tripped along the edge of his own when they were working together especially well and thought that if he’d known having a family waiting for him would feel like this he’d have gone out and found them a long time ago.

[aprisonlovestory-blog]

“The most powerful weapon on Earth, is the Human soul on fire.” - Marshal F. Foch

I sighed heavily.

Something I do frequently these days. The incident from last October still makes me depressed. I'm not surprised though I know it was my fault. I allowed myself to lose control, to let go, to feel and that sort of thing never goes unpunished. Blinking my eyes, they feel heavy urging me to sleep. I know what comes with sleep though, dreams of a past life, a love lost and a time in my life when I was actually happy. When my past transgressions and foul transgressions of others seemed to melt away and be forgotten. I closed my eyes again, I felt nothing but utter loneliness. Something that most can't find in the world of today. Nothing to do but sleep and dream about what I lost, it can't be healthy to dream so much...

As I stepped up to the steep rock ledge, where Jenny and I decided to have our lunch, the ocean breeze swirled around me. The thick humid smell of the slimy, salty, seaweed filled the air. Above the seagulls haunting cries, I heard her come up behind me.

“Hows the view look?” she asked.

“See for yourself,” as I put my arm around her, she slipped a hand around my waist and we looked out, marveling at the spectacular ocean side scenery around us.

“Wow it's beautiful here,” she said in awe.

A soft crash of the waves on the rocks below, ever so often added to the serenity of the spot we'd chosen for our picnic.

We had only been dating a few months, but it was at this moment that I knew I loved her. We were hugging each other, locked in embrace. Her hand rose from my shoulder, our eyes locked, time slowing until a silent understanding flowed between us. Our faces were inches apart, feeling each others breath on our skin. The moment hung there, our breathing falling into a synchronized rhythm. As I looked to the right the forest covered the mountains loomed over us like giants, the massive redwood trees reaching, pawing at the soft blue ocean sky. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. We kissed. Her lips full and warm, filled with passion. We inhaled each others soul until we were one. A moment of perfection, and as our thoughts and worries drifted away, we understood. Without a single word necessary. I knew.

...I woke up. Gasping for air, disoriented and my skin slick with sweat. I wince as I sit up, my body is racked with pain from my muscles tensing and contracting from the nights dreams. Seeing her in my dreams, hearing that voice that I had been so in love with and feeling her soft skin on mine. Only to wake up here and have her fade away like fog in the morning sun. Sitting up, I looked about my cell. The feeble light from the courtyard outside finally showing me the corners of the inside of my cell. Voices had already begun to be heard downstairs so, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I got up. I pulled my orange coveralls on and stepped outside my cell. Shutting the metal door behind me, I leaned on the bars enclosing my tier. Looking down, men had already begun to start their days. Making coffee, reading the morning paper and small groups quietly talking among themselves. I started down the stairs towards the day use area.

“Morning”, one inmate said to me as I passed by.

“G'morning”, my response. I never really say much more than that, especially in the morning. I sat on the stainless steel counter at the back of the room facing the common areas television, that was playing some comedy show. I gazed aimlessly around, surveying my surroundings. Other than a few windows on one side looking out into our courtyard, that besides the ceiling is fully encased in concrete. Just white walls, cell doors painted a sickly institutional green, men quietly playing cards or chess. The television with some stand up comic roaming the stage, screaming into a microphone bitching about his wife. He poked fun at the insane demands of his kids. I wanted to punch his face so bad for his blind ungratefulness. He didn't know how lucky he was. To have a wife to love, to have kids and a home of his own. Recognizing the bitterness in my thoughts, I quickly forced them out. I can't afford to feel ever again. If you've never killed someone, you can't really imagine what it's like. You don't want to know.  It leaves you with something hard and heavy in the pit of your stomach, something that never dissolves. Most of us, I'm convinced, just aren't wired to take a human life.

When I say most of us, I'm not talking about some deranged serial killer or some stone cold sniper or one of those guys that come back from war and saying killing people was like squishing ants. I'm talking about normal people. Your average Joe can't digest taking the life of another, accident or not. It changes them.

It's April 3, 2016, it's been months since I last wrote. I've been trying not to think about how much I miss her, keeping my head down and doing my time. A lot has gone on since my last correspondence. I guess if I were to summarize it all, it would not do my time justice, so I'll start from where I left off last.

It was the morning of Feb. 5, 2016 and as my lights automatically turned on at 6:50, to initiate our wake up for breakfast at 7:00, I sat up in my bed. I slowly stretched, my shoulders and arms ached from my constant workouts in the gym.

“Click”, the lock for my cell door opens and I shuffle my way down to the common area for breakfast. One pant leg awkwardly pulled up and one eye still glued shut, I probably looked really funny, but I didn't care. I have been on this unit for the last four months and everyone knows and respects me. I was settled in and prepared to do some long time. I'm due in court today, a date of little importance, since it was to be put over for another couple weeks.

The video court tanks are grimy, dirty places, separated by where the offenses took place. Two tanks for Edmonton, a couple for the surrounding areas and a “out of town” tank. Since my matters are in Lymburn and Vancouver, the outta town tank is where I'm usually put. I sat down, around me I noticed a couple guys that I met while I've been here. One of the guys name was Tevin, he always referred to me as a “real nigga”. After about an hour of small talk and random guys coming and going. The door opened and in walked this snitch that we had “checked off” our unit previously. He sat down directly across from me and looked up. Confusion quickly turned to recognition then to fear as he realized who I was. As if to hide his obvious emotions, his face turned to a scowl and glared at me. I turned to my hommie, Tevin, and said under my breath,

“Yo man, that's the snitch we checked off a couple weeks ago”.

“Whatcha going to do bro?”

“Not sure, but if he keeps up that staring act with me, I'ma do something 'real quick'”. In the holding tanks, the guards can't see inside except for a small camera in the top corner of the room. I knew that I needed to do something, so I stood up and walked over to another guy I knew and sat down. I leaned over and whispered,

“Hey man, can you cover the camera? I have some business I have to take care of.”

Understanding right away, he nodded and I walked back over to where I was sitting before and sat down beside Tevin. The snitch was watching me but I didn't care, events were in motion, too late to back down now. I waited for 5 to 10 minutes, just long enough for him to let his guard down. I glanced at the camera guy. He was sitting behind and to the left of the snitch, so he had no idea what was about to happen. I nodded at the camera guy and he stood up holding a roll of toilet paper and used it to cover the camera. As soon as it was covered I had about 30 seconds before guards unlocked the door and rushed in with clubs and mace. I launched my left foot forward catching him in the jaw, snapping his head back. I jumped up, striking him with 5 quick punches to his head and face. As he fell to the ground, I reared back and delivered a powerful kick to his ribs. Above the other inmates cheers, I heard the sharp click of the door being unlocked and quickly sat down. I wasn't quick enough as luck would have it. The first guard through the doors seen me sit down and yanked me out of the tank, as the other guards pulled out the punching bag and the camera guy. They told me I was being charged with assault and threw me in a solitary tank.

A few hours later, while I sat there, a case worker came to see me. Informing me that I would be leaving my unit, 3-D, to be placed in unit 1-D. The walk back to 3-D seemed to take forever. I was pissed, I was so comfortable at my unit, only to be uprooted and brought somewhere else because of my own stupidity. Why do I always do things to screw myself over? Once back at the unit, myself and a couple other inmates pleaded with the senior officer there to make some calls to keep me on the unit. He was an old army vet who had been working at the remand for quite some time and had a bit of pull. After twenty minutes of being on the phone with the director, he slammed the phone down with a bang. Confirming my fears that I was indeed being transferred. So, after saying my goodbyes to the friends I had made there for the past four months (mostly just the cleaners who befriended me, Cliff and Joe.), I was on my way to my new unit, 1-Delta.

It's hard being left behind. It's hard to be the one who stays. I try and keep busy, time goes by faster that way. I go to sleep alone and wake up alone. I work out, play basketball in the yard, everything seems so simple until you start thinking about it. Why is love intensified by absence? Sometimes I compare jail to war, where men leave and women wait for them to return. I wonder if she waits for me? Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass, through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up waiting.

One-Delta was like Three-Delta only in aspect that they had both high turnover rates, guys always coming and going. Everything else was different. The guys were bigger and louder, drugs were clearly running rampant there as well. I instantly felt a pang of intimidation. I made my way to my house and laid out my bed. Walking back downstairs, most of the eyes on the unit watching the new fish that just arrived. I sat at a lone table, not sure what to do. The senior guard, at the previous unit, told me that I should sign up for “bootcamp”. He'd seen how much I worked out and said I'd like it better there. So sitting there with nothing to do I started filling out a request form.

“Hey, what's up?”

I looked up to see two guys who had sat down at my table. The one who said hi had a strong East Coast or Newfie accent. The other was a stocky Native guy.

“Uh, not much” was my reply. The Newfie was the first to introduce himself.

“I'm Jimmy!” thrusting his hand out. Shaking his hand, I turned to the other guy.

I said, “I'm Chance”

“Bruno” was his response. I realized he must not be a big talker.

Over the next few weeks I got to know those guys really well. We played cards, chess and basketball. We drank brew together and told stories on how we ended up there. All was going well when, one day, I was reading on my bed and the guards buzzed me to come to the staff station. My first reaction was, “Oh shit, what did I do”. Once at the staff station, though, I was told I was accepted into bootcamp and to pack my stuff. I was being uprooted again.

The bootcamp is on a tier based progression system. Everyone, who first joins, starts on the bottom tier. Slowly, with hard work and a good attitude, guys can eventually make it to the top tier. I've been on the bootcamp for roughly five months now and have been on the top tier for two months. Some perks about being on the top tier are we serve meals every four days instead of being locked up during meal times. The shifts rotate between the top and middle tier. On 1-A bootcamp the top tier are able to go on bio-clean-ups through out the jail. Each clean-up pays ten dollars and range from a variety of nastiness. Most are caused from inmates fighting. Other than that I've been o.k. I guess, I'm trying to get in the habit of writing more frequently again. It's so boring here, you would think it would be easy but it's hard to find motivation when all you want to do is sleep.

Pretty women are everywhere. Women who are able to turn the heads of men who already have a gorgeous super model on their arm. There were women who could get off with a warning, when police pulled them over simply by batting their eyelashes. And then there was Jenny. I was struck by her beauty the first time I seen her. I'm sure most people consider her attractive, although she did have her flaws. A nose that upturned, ever so slightly. A small gap between her front teeth and hair that, more often than not, did whatever it pleased  but, to me, it was those small imperfections that I could think of no one more beautiful than her.

No matter what I'm ever doing, I can always feel the weight of what happened that night. Leading up to it, my life had been perfect. Sure, it had some flaws but I had a good job, great girlfriend and a fresh start in a new city. I lost it all that night. The night I can never forget. Most of the time, I'm able to keep the memory of it all away, but every now and then at odd times, it comes to me with such a force. The images never change or fade. The images never blurred around the edges, as though I was viewing it through someone else' eyes.

It's been months since I last wrote, call it lack of inspiration if you will. Today is Sunday, July 31st, and with tomorrow being the start of August a lot is coming up but also a lot has gone on. My court date for my B.C. Matter is coming up soon. A month after that will be my court date for my Lymburn charges. I'll finally know what's going on and how much time the crown is asking. I'm still on bootcamp and liking it. We wake up at 7AM, eat breakfast and clean our cells. By 8:30AM, P.T. or physical training starts and usually last for about two hours. We also train regularly in military drill routines. We have two drill teams, one is a farm team for guys wanting to be on the actual drill team.  With lots of practice guys are selected individually to join the drill team when a spot opens up. I've been on the drill team for four months now and once in a while will also train the farm team.

Today is August 10, 2016 and it's prisoner justice day. It's a holiday I have never heard of before coming here. Today prisoners all over Canada peacefully protest by not eating and not doing any work for the jails. By performing hunger and work strikes we acknowledge all of the prisoners that have died to get us the rights and privileges we have today. It's definitely for a good cause but a hard sacrifice to make especially since we are fed so little here. Our meal trays are approximately 8x10 inches and about 2 inches high and always halfway filled. I knew I wouldn't be eating today so I slept for most of the morning. I awoke around noon my stomach knotting in a sharp sudden hunger, dulled for long hours by sleep. I made myself a coffee, the warm liquid soothing the rumbling pangs that I was feeling. I let out an exhausted sigh, only 12 more hours until I can eat something. 12 more hours... I try not to think about the time but it's all around me. Phrases like, kill time. Pass time. Waste Time. ...lose time. In good time. About time. Take your time. Save time. Right on time. Out of time. Mind the time. Be on time. Spare time. Keep time. Stall for time... a long time.

At first there was blackness and solitude. I never wanted to forget her. I promised her I wouldn't. I wanted desperately to hold o to every memory of her.

I'd squeeze my eyes shut until, finally, at some point in the beginning of my time here, I shook off the darkness of my depression, pulled out a pen and paper and began this story about my time. I try to imagine life without time. I can't. There is a clock on the wall, a schedule and a calendar. I know the month, the year, the day of the week. Yet all around me, outside, the time is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check his watch. Deer do not lose sleep over passing birthdays. We alone, as people, measure time and, because of this, we alone suffer a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out. There is something I have learned while passing my time here. There is a reason why God limits our days. It is to remind us that each one is precious.