#when i was a kid i used to open up cans of like diced peaches and just eat them striaght out of the can

[kerosene-saint]

my great grandpa used to eat plain water chestnuts out of the can and boy am I related to him

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things between them deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Warnings: swearing

Masterlist

Chapter 6

Spencer slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the morning light seeping in through the curtains. Jo was resting peacefully on his lap just like how they were during the movie. Unexpectedly however, Y/N was leant up against his shoulder, softly breathing. Spencer wished he could stay like this forever, this is how it should have always been. But then, he noticed the time on his watch and realized it was Monday morning.

Jo was tightly clinging on to his right arm so he slowly lifted his left hand and nudged you slightly. You mumbled and dug yourself further into the crook of his neck, clearly not awake yet.

“Y/N, it’s Monday and it’s 7:30 in the morning,” he whispered.

Your eyes shot open and you quickly distanced yourself from him.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to-well you know,” you gestured to his shoulder.

“Josephine, baby, you need to get up now. Mommy forgot to set an alarm for school,” you gently shook the kid awake.

You lifted Jo up as she was beginning to wake and carried her upstairs to dress her.

“Do you need me to do anything?” Spencer called out.

“Could you pack her lunch? Give her a juice box, a fruit cup, a bag of cheez-it’s, and a PB&J please,” you shouted back.

Spencer ran to the kitchen, grabbing the empty dinosaur lunch box from Jo’s backpack. He grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer to keep the lunch box cool inside, putting in a fruit punch juice box and a diced peaches fruit cup with a spoon. He poured some cheez-it’s into a ziploc bag and sealed it shut. Then, Spencer located the peanut butter in the cupboards, slathering it on to the other slice of bread.

“Crust on or cut off?” he yelled upstairs.

“On is fine! Thank you!” you replied as you finished brushing Jo’s hair, starting to head downstairs.

“Jo, grab your lunch box from Spencer and thank him for making you lunch, put it in your backpack, and grab a pop-tart for the road. Mommy just needs to grab her work bag,” you said, putting on a tan blazer and pinning your hair back with bobby pins.

Jo nodded and thanked Spencer, grabbing a strawberry frosted pop-tart and running out the front door with her backpack.

“You know pop-tarts have only three grams of protein but are high in refined carbs like high fructose corn syrup. Studies show they actually can make you hungrier,” Spencer stated.

He wasn’t intending to take a jab at Y/N’s choice of breakfast for Jo this morning but you certainly took it that way.

“I’m sorry, have you raised a kid?” you asked sarcastically.

“No but who’s fault is that?” he snapped back, immediately regretting it.

Your hands fell from where they were adjusting your hair in the mirror. You did not look at him or say a single word as you collected your purse and laptop and began to walk to the door.

“Y/N, wait! I didn’t mean that,” he pleaded.

You inhaled and turned around.

“You don’t get to sit on your high horse and act like I didn’t do you a favor, Spencer,” you clenched your jaw.

“A FAVOR?” he asked incredulously, “You call missing six years of my daughter’s life a favor?”

“You’re seriously going to look me in the eye and tell me that if I called you seven years ago saying I was pregnant, you would have quit the FBI and moved back,” you questioned.

“I-”

“Even if you did quit, you would have ended up resenting us for not getting to fulfill your dreams so yeah I did you a favor.”

“So you think our daughter is some massive burden that you ‘took the bullet’ on? If you truly think that, then maybe I’ll just fight you for custody.”

“I was fully aware of my options back then. I chose to have Jo because she was my dream. But she clearly wasn’t yours because you left me the second you had something better lined up. And I’d like to see you fucking try to fight for custody, news flash! Your name isn’t on the birth certificate. You have no legal rights over Jo. But how dare you even threaten to take my child away from me over a fucking pop-tart, you asshole,” you stormed out the house, slamming the front door behind you.

The feeling in Spencer’s chest now the exact opposite of when he woke up this morning.

-

Please call me. I’m sorry, I was out of line.

You had a multitude of missed calls and texts from Spencer that you didn’t reply to but that was the first one he sent. One of them said he was being called away on a case so luckily he wasn’t showing up at your door every day.

It was Saturday night and Jo had fallen asleep on the couch watching Tom & Jerry cartoons. You clicked the TV off and carried her up the stairs. You tucked her under her dinosaur comforter and kissed her forehead.

“Bedtime story, Mommy,” she mumbled.

“Okay, which one?” you asked, looking at the bookshelf.

“Caltechia,” she said, opening her eyes slightly.

“What?” you furrowed your brow.

“Spencer told it to me. You know the one with the goofy knight that loves the elegant queen and pretty princess of Caltechia,” Jo stated matter-of-factly.

You smiled softly, “I’m sorry, Baby J, I don’t know how that one ends. Maybe Spencer can finish it for you some day. How about The Very Hungry Caterpillar instead?”

She nodded and her eyes fluttered shut once again as you began to read.

-

After flicking the lights off and gently shutting Jo’s door, you returned downstairs to grade some papers.

You got through about five when there was a soft hesitant knock on the door. You sighed, closing your laptop. Your TV was on as background noise and the lights in the living room were on so it was obvious you were home and still awake. You already knew who it was without even looking.

You opened the door slightly to see Spencer standing there with swollen puffy eyes and nervous fidgety hands.

“Can we talk?” he asked quietly.

You opened the door all the way and plopped yourself back down on the couch.

“Jo is sleeping so if you came here to yell at me again, save it,” you huffed.

“No, I came here to apologize. I wasn’t trying to criticize your parenting. I was just stating a random fact I read, it was stupid. I’m sorry. And I’m also sorry that I escalated the argument instead of trying to defuse it,” he spoke softly.

“I’m sorry too. I should have known that it was just another statistic. Some things never change,” you laughed softly.

“But Y/N, you knew that I had a father that abandoned me and my worst fear was becoming him and you still kept Jo from me anyways,” he whispered with watery eyes.

“You know how you claimed you broke up with me to protect me? I thought keeping Jo from you so you didn’t have to make that decision was kind of like protecting you. You can’t abandon a child you didn’t know existed.”

“Well, I know about her now and I’m not abandoning her. I don’t want to. Can you please let me be her dad and not just her father?” he pleaded, wiping away the tear that rolled down his cheek.

“We can tell her at breakfast in the morning and you can come with us to the park tomorrow. I guess we could work out some days that you can drop her off at school or pick her up and keep her for dinner. But she sleeps here, I’m not budging on that for now. She needs some consistency if we are going to spring this on her,” you replied.

“Yes! Yes! Thank you,” he excitedly whisper-shouted.

Without even realizing what he was doing, Spencer pulled you in for a hug. He soon realized when you tensed in his arms.

“Oh-uh I’m sorry,” he stuttered, pulling his arms back, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

He awkwardly waved as he made his way to the door.

“Good night, Spencer.”

“Night, Y/N.”

You pulled back the window curtain a little to watch Spencer walk out of your driveway. He had his back turned to you but you saw him pump his fist in the air and jump up and down a few times before collecting himself and beginning to walk away with a smile on his face. You laughed to yourself. Still the same old goofy Spencer.

[tcnosfm-blog]

.･:*:･ﾟ ’ valentino  espsito , a  twenty  three  year   old , cismale ,  works  as  a  musician  who  came  from  manhattan  roots  .  while  they  were  attending  st  jude’s  they  were  known  as  the  broken  bird  because  they  could  be  very  reticent  .  those  closest  to  them  say  they’re  quite  stoic  though  .  to  get  a  better  understanding  of  who  they  are  ,  some  things  you  may  notice  about  them  are  ferocious  memories  dancing  across  his  flesh  before  sinking  their  teeth  into  him  ,  the  feeling  of  pain  reminding  him  of  his  own  presence  in  the  world  ,  night  sweats  that  form  a pool  of  anger  and  an  ocean  of  sadness .  you  may  have  mistaken  them  for  justin  bieber .

hi   hello  peaches  !!    this  ?  is  a  fucking  train  wreck  i  call  valentino  but  god  do  i  fucking  love  him  ?  he’s  the  combination  of  two  muses  of  mine  and  well  i’m  really  excited  to  explore  him  !  all  while  going  back  to  my  jb  roots  (  can  you  believe  there  was  a  time  where  the  only  male  fc  i  could  use  was  the  love  of  my  life  justin  bieber  ?   is  it  crack  ?  is  that  what  i  was  smoking  ?  ) if  you  would  like  to  learn  more  about  valentino  ,  please  just  keep  reading  !!  oh  please  bare  with  me  ,  me   and  introductions  are  not  friends .  

❝   ┄  𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓸𝓹𝓸𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓱𝔂  !

chapters  of  a  childhood  that  reflected  two  halves  of  then  and  now  .  like  a  book  that  cannot  be  ripped  from  your  hands  ,  the  esposito’s   story  captured  hues  of  millions  .  expect  ,  instead   of  unfolding  on  pages  of  a  book  ,  their  lives  were  recorded  by  the  hands  of  the  media  /  smiling  (  or  hands  up  covering  irritated  expressions  )  on  the  front  pages  of  magazine  ,  elaborating  on  success  and  fortune  with  oprah winfrey  ,  beautiful   photoshoots  that  are  plastered  with  such  brands  as  vogue  and  elle  magazine  .  adored  .  you  could  consider  them  that  .   they  were  affluence  dipped  in  sovereignty .

alessandro  esposito  ,  fifteen  years  old  when  he  came  to  america  from  naples italy  .  for  two  weeks  ,  him  and  his  family  of  seven  slept  on  the  cold  streets  of  new  york  .  his  father  ,  a  business  man  that  went  bankrupt  decided  to  allow  his  legs  to  run  and  run  until  they  landed  him  to  america  in  search  of  a  second  chance  .  that  year  ,  had  been  a  year  of  struggle .  but  it  taught  alessandro  all  he  needed  to  know  ,  showed  him  everything  he  refused  to  be  .  

alessandro  ,  he  put  himself  through  college  .  got  a  job  the  minute  his  feet  touched  new  york  at  an  italian  owned  pizza  place  , and  ran  himself  through  the  ringer  with  school  .  he  wanted  to  study  business  .  be  the  man  his  father  never  was  .  he  was  determined  .

it  was  his  junior  year  where  he  meet  sienna   remis  ,   the  twenty  something  year  old  break  out  model  ..  who  in  reality  should  of  never  given  alessandro  the  time  or  day  ..  but  she  gave  him  more  then  that  ,  four  years  later  ,  she  gave  him  her  word  that  she  was  in  it  with  him  forever  .  

she  did  not  want  children  .  she  was  a  model  .  used  her  body  for  her  work  ,  worked  for  her  body  .  struggled  with  herself  to  remain  the  model  of  every  company’s  dream  .  and  then  , she  accidentally  got  pregnant  .  and  despite  having  no  intentions  of  keeping  it  ,  one  look  at   her  husbands  face  and  she  made  a  decision  that  would  cost  her  .  she  had  it  .  

and  then  ,  she  had   another  one  .  and  then  another  one  ..  and  then  ,  another  one  .

the  esposito’s  were  a  traditional  italian  family  ,  spent  almost  every  moment  with  one  another  .  celebrated  holidays  at  nonna  &  nonno’s  .  did  family  vacations  with  their  four  aunts  /  uncles  and  their  seventeen  cousins  .  the  esposito’s  as  a  whole  ,   were  successful  .  alessandro’s  oldest  brother  being  a  plastic  surgeon  for  celebrities  such  as  kim  kardashian  and  kylie  jenner . his  sister  ,  she  dabbled  in  the  world  of  acting  before  settling  into  fashion  design  .  his  youngest  brother  worked  along  his  side  ,  building  an  empire  of  hotels  and  restaurants   .  and  ,  his  youngest  sister  whom  had  the  ability  to  capture  a  thousand  words  in  single  painting  moved  back  to  italy  to  live  a  normal  life  .  

zynaty ,  the  empire  that  holds  hundreds  of  hotels  and  restaurants  across  the  globe  .  the  business  that  took  alessandro  and  his  brother  everything  they  had  to  create .

valentino  navarone  clemente  esposito  was  the  second  child  to  alessandro   and  sienna  .   from  the  moment   he  open  warm  colored  hues  ,  took  his  first  breaths  ,  privilege  was  granted  to  him  .   a  child  in  the  spotlight  ,  it  was  what  he  became  .  one  of  the    esposito’s  destined  to  do  great  things  .  to  be  somebody  .  the  media  ate  him  up .  everything  he  did  ,  everything  his  siblings  did  ,  they  wanted  to  be  apart  of  it  ,  to  exploit  ,  to  adore  ,  to  wait  and  watch  how  they  would  unfold  .

the  first  eleven  years  of  valentino’s  childhood  consisted  of  tender  forehead  kisses  and  the  feeling  of  warm  comfort  wrapping  around  him  like  a  blanket  .  his  days  consisting  of  laughter  that  fell  from  his  siblings  lips  ,  sports  that  shook  all  of  his  energy  right  out  of  him  .  homemade  dinners  ,  forced  movie  nights  (  though  deep  down  he  always  enjoyed  snuggling  up  to  his  mother  ) ,  tutors  ,  piano  lessons  ,  and  guitar  lessons  .  by  the  time  he  was  eight  ,  he  was  fluent  in  italian  .  played  on  three  different  hockey  teams  .  bickered  with  his  oldest  brother  like  it  was  his  job  (  but  more  so  because  he  wanted  to  do  everything  he  did  and  did  not  like  being  told  no  .  )  spent  hours  in  his  fathers  office  gazing  out  the  windows  ,  eating  greasy  burgers  with  his  father  in  exchange  that  neither  of  them  would  snitch  to  the  others  .  summers  with  his   grandparents  in  italy  .  at  the  age  of  ten  he  was  staring  in  commercials  such  as  toy’s  r  us  and  even  chef  boyardee .  

the  esposito’s  were  being  offered  reality  tv  show’s  ,  the  spot  of  ambassador’s  for  ridiculously   prosperous  brands  .  everything  they  did  ,  it  was  an  article  .   sienna  takes  her  children  out  to  the  park  ,  alessandro  walks  the  family  dog  ,  valentino  scored  final  goal  .  and  then  ,  it  happened  .  headlines  of  ,  valentino  esposito  admitted  to  hospital  due  to  injuries  from  his  mother  .

sienna  ,  she  was  tender  .  angelic.  had  a   smile  that  melted  hearts  .  her  laughter  felt  like  music  to  your  ears  ..  everyone  described  her  as  gentle  ,  a  beautiful  soul .  but  after  her  last  child  ,  she fell  into  such  dark  places  .  so  dark  that  drinking  her  way  out  of  them  seemed  to  be  the  only  way  to  survive  .  to  get  through  it  … but  the  drinking  always  made  her  violent  .  usually  ,  it  was  never  anything  more  then  her  screaming  horrid  words  to  her  children .  usually  she  saved  physical  contact  for  alessandro  .  the  next  morning  ,  she’d  beg  for  forgiveness  .  buy  the   gifts  and  allow  them  to  stay  home  from  school  .  she’d  swear  she’d  never  do  it  again  ,  and  for  weeks  she  wouldnt  .  and  then  ,  like  a  switch   she  would  .

nine  pm  ,  alessandro  headed  to  las  vegas  for  a  business  trip  (  one  that  included  his  mistress  ) ,  his  mom  she  found  the  liquor  cabinet  .   one  drink  turned  to three and  three  turned  to  the  whole  bottle  vanishing  . valentino  remembers  , her  screams  and  his  little  brother  crying  .  he  was  always  protective  ,  and  when  his  oldest  brother  was  not  around  he  always  felt  like  it  was  even  more  of  his  duty  to  watch  out  for  his .  so  that’s  what  he  did  .  his  feet  leading him  down  to  the  kitchen  ..  and  when  his  hues  reached  hers  ,  the  once  angelic  mother  he  knew  ,  he  loved  disappeared  .  she  was  a  monster  in  human  form   .   and  her  hands  had  reached  for  his  brother  and  non  stop  shook  him  as  she  repeated  ,  screamed  how  much  she  never  wanted  them  .  that  she  never  wanted  them  .

valentino  remembers  this  much  ,  fear .  confusion .  the  need  to  free  his  little  brother  .  and  then  he  remembers  covering  his  face  ,  pleading  for  her  to  stop  ,  and  pain .

it  was  his  brother  who  called  the  cops  ,  and  when  he  got  to  the  hospital  he  had  broken  ribs  ,  bruises  that  covered  his  faces  like  it  skin  tone  was  purple  ,  and   a  concussion .

the  months  after  that  ,  consisted  of  legal  actions  .  divorces  .  therapy  .  and  attempting  to  heal  .  something  that  was  deemed  impossible  with  the  media  constantly  throwing  it  back  into  their  faces . pleading  for  their  statements  ,  wanting  to  dig  deeper  .  paparazzi  harassing  not  only  his  family  ,  but  friends  of  his  family  ,  co  workers  ,  teachers  ,  nannies  .  it  got  so  bad  ,  alessandro  took  him  and  his  children  back  to  italy  for  an  entire  year  .  wanting  to  give  them  enough  time  to  adjust  ,  to  heal  ,  all  while  trying  to  heal  on  his  own  .  

❝   ┄  𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂 𝓯𝓽. 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼  !

hard  headed  and  words  like  knives  ,  a  burning  fire  lives  within  the  boy  .  one  that  holds  onto  pain  and  anger  ,  their  claws  slashing  violently  into  his  heart  .  after  the  accident  ,  he  was  told  he  had  sad  eyes  .  and  for  a  while  ,  it  was  because  it  was  true  .  sadness  had  intertwined  themselves  within  him  ,  and  when  he  finally  got  tired  of  the  hole  in  his  heart  that  dropped  to  their  needs  pleading  with  anyone  to  help  it  ,  he  pushed  the  sadness   out  and  let  anger  stand  in  it’s  place  .

there’s  sanity  in  the  constancy  his  fist  always  presented  him  ,  in  italy  he  found  himself  in  fights  after  fights  .  twelves  year  old  ,  fighting  his  demons  and  fighting  anyone  who  wronged  him  even  in  the  smallest  of  senses  .  

he’s  like  picking  up  dice  and  praying  you  land  on  a  good  number  ,  you  never  know  what  you’ll  get  ..  will  you  see  the  specks  of  playfulness  and  charm  ?  his  anger  that burns  brighter  then  any  fire ?  the  silent  sadness ?

his  ambition  is  gold  .  he  wants  to  be  something  in  this  world  .  and  his  passion  and  intelligent  helps  keep  him  on  this  path .

being  an  athlete  has  always  come  natural  to  him  ,  he  was  that  kid  who  was  good  at  literally  everything  he  did  ..  and  while  he  doesnt  play  hockey  anymore  ,  or  as  much  as  he  use  to  ,  he  still  gets  himself  up  at  five  am  to  run  .

his  family  is  a  priority  .  the  only  people  who  get  all  of  him  ,  his  sadness  ,  his  softness  ,  his  broken  pieces  ,  his  protectiveness  ,  his  loyalty  ,  his  undying  love .

despite  what  you  may  think  ,  he  has  a  big  heart  .  it  sneaks  to  the  surface  with  small  acts  of  kindness  ..  the  way  his  hand  will  reach  out  to  you  with  intentions  of  affection  before  retreating  .  it’s  in  his  words  of  , ‘ did  you  eat  ? ‘  and  ,  ‘ let  me  walk  ya  home ‘

he  is  a  lover  ,  no  matter  how  hard  he  tries  to  convince  you  his  heart  is  cold  that  will  never  be  the  case  .  ever  .

he’s  a  curious  person ,  and  usually  ends  up  getting  suck  into  people  and  things  despite  his  promises  that  he  wont  .

he  hates  commitment  and  attachment  .. but  can  you  blame  him.

has  this  fear  that  everyone  he  loves  will  somehow  someway  hurt  him .

has  a  bad  habit  of  hurting  those  who  hurt  him .

he’s  unpredictable  ,  stubborn   ,   a  little  sarcastic .

he  can  be  cruel  ,  unemotionally  unavailable  .  it’s  always  easier  to  feel  nothing  then  feel .  (  has  a  constant  fight  with  himself  on  whether  he  should  let  you  in  ,  but  he  will  if  you  are  determined  enough  ..  as  much  as  he  can  )

he’s  super  intelligent  ,  quick  with  numbers  .  his  dad  use  to  tell  him  he   was  going  to  be  a  king ,  at  least  in  the  business  industry  ..  

loves  children  ..  definitely  cannot  wait  to  have  children  of  his  own  some day .

he  still  spends  a  lot  of  his  time  in  italy  ,  usually  with  his  grandparents  or  his  aunt .  he  likes  it  there  ,  likes  being  able  to  breathe  ,  to  walk  down  the  street  without  harassment  .

he  wanted  to  go  into  his  dad’s  business  ,  his  dad  wanted  him  to  come  into  the  business .  but  ,  he  instead  found  his  passion  in  music ?  it  was  not  surprising ,  the  baby  has  always  been talented  ..  it  just  took  him  a  little  longer  to  realize  that  it  was  what  he  wanted  to  do .

has  a  journal  he  carries  with  him  almost  every  where  ,  he  remembers  in  the  seventh  grade  someone  teased  him  about  it  being  a  diary  .  he  also   got  suspended  that  day  . it’s  his  song  book  ,  the  only  way  to  really  know  him .

he  learned  fast  that   ,  he  never  wanted  to  inflict  harm  onto  anyone  else  like  his  mom  did  ..  and  at  twenty  four  is  not  a  violent  guy  .  he  acts  out  of  self  defense  but  will  never  put  his  hands  on  you  first  .

on  that  note  ,  do  not  put  your  hands  on  him  .  he  does  not  like  to  be  handled  ,  slapped  , shoved  .  he  does  not  like  being  grabbed  ,  dont  even  poke  him  aggressively  .  

he  flinches  ,  if  you  move  too  fast  near  him  . if  you  move  your  hands  when  yelling  at  him .

he  had  night  terrors  for  years  .  therapy  helped  him  with  it  ..  but  sometimes  they  make  a  recurrence  .  more  so  if  he’s  really  stressed  or  anxious .

is  such  a  boy  when it  comes  to  cars  .  love  speeding  ,  showing  off  ,  making  you  hold  on  for  your  dear  life .

he  does  not  like  drunk  people  ,  is  not  the  guy  that  will  normally  take  care  of  you  unless  you’re  his  siblings  ,  or  a  very  close  friends  .  does  not  really  drink  himself  .  has   a  drink  here  and  there  ,  but  has  never  gotten  drunk  … he  could  truly  go  the  rest  of   his  life  without  ever  drinking  again .

he  is  a  smoker  ,  smokes  a  blunt  every  night  before  bed  .

he   is  signed  with  a  record  label  ,  and  has  released  two  albums  !  also  he  went  on  two  tours !  music  is  something  he  truly  enjoys  .  it  makes  him  feel  all  light  and  happy ?  like  he’s  his  old  self  again .  voice  wise  ,  think  justin  bieber   but  singing  post  malone  songs  ..

he’s  doing  a  little  soul  searching  ,  soaking  up  life  ..   as  much  as  he  can  .  trying  to  remind  himself  of  all  the  reasons  it  feels  soo  good  to  be  here  ,  right  now  ,  living  and  breathing.

❝   ┄  𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼  !

asdfg okay  ,  i  wanted  to  write  out  super  long  and  detailed  connections  but  im  already  annoyed  with  myself  and  cannot  even  imagine  how  yous  will  feel  having  to  read  this  mess !  so  i  want  a  bromance  ,  something  cute  and  simple  .  they’re  there  for  him  non  stop  ,  he  considers  them  family  ,  would  do  anything  for  them  ,  they  bring  out  old  valentino  who  just  wants  to  have  fun  and  act  like  a  fool !  a  childhood  friend  ,  someone  who  knows  everything  about  the  accident  he  doesn’t  speak  to  anymore  to  avoid  the  memories .  some  party  friends  and  bad  influences  .  hookups  !!!  a  sibling  like  friendship  ,  someone  who  reminds  him  of  his  younger  brother  or  sister  .  an  messy  ex  of  some  sort  .  one  sided  relationships !!  one  sided  friendships  !!  that  one  person  who’s  soooo  determined  to  break  down  his  walls .

[snickerl]

I am reblogging this because I don’t know how or why the last part and thus the closure of this ficlet was missing. It’s in italics at the end if you want to find out how Ahab’s and Maggie’s conversation went on after “Did you ever...”  Instead of finishing the sentence he bit his lower lip.

Mom’s The Best

A collection of XF ficlets

I started this collection of stand-alone ficlets from Margaret Scully’s POV a while ago because she’s always been one of my favorite characters. This particular chapter has been sitting in my “yet to post” box for the longest time because I wasn’t sure if anybody would be interested in reading it. Anyway, today I decided it was time to post it and just find out...

So far, the collection contains the following ficlets:

PEPPERMINT TEA APPLE PIE ROOT BEER PEACH PUNCH CHOCOLATE COOKIES

APPLE CRUMBLE

"Hey Starbuck, have you decided which offer you want to take yet? I heard Johns Hopkins is interested."

Bill Scully, Sr. had just swallowed the last piece of roast. He was dabbing the corners of his mouth with a napkin and popped the question casually at his younger daughter who instantly stopped chewing. His wife sucked in her breath. Maggie somehow knew this wasn't a good after dinner topic. Dana had been avoiding to talk about what to do after her graduation from medical school lately whereas Ahab had hardly been talking about anything else.

Maggie knew he loved all his children but Dana had always been his favorite. Since the day she was born, she had been the apple of his eye. It had put her at the receiving end of his fatherly affection like none of her siblings but it had also put a lot of pressure on the girl to cope with. When she had been admitted to medical school, Maggie had seen her husband almost burst out of pride, Dana Katherine Scully, M.D. sounded like a melody in his ears. Therefore failing or, God forbid, dropping out hadn't been an option for Dana. It had turned her into an ambitious, tenacious, and determined young woman with an incredible amount of stamina who would do anything to not disappoint her daddy. To her mother's dismay, enjoying life had fallen a bit by the wayside in the process. Well, her older sister and younger brother had compensated for it more than enough.

Dana was putting the cutlery down in slow motion, then dabbed her lips thoroughly. She squinted her left eye for a brief moment and looked at her father.

"You heard? From whom?"  

Maggie noticed a sensitive undertone in Dana's voice her husband obviously missed because he continued unwaveringly.  

"Daniel told me."

"How did you get around talking about me with my boyfriend?"

Dana was tensing up noticeably. Maggie held her breath.

"He's as interested in your career as I am. Your move into the medical field needs to be well considered, and Daniel says Boston is offering the best opportunity for you to go into cardiology."

"Oh? Daniel says? I see." Dana chewed the inside of her cheek before she asked tight-lipped, "do I get a say in this, dad, or have Daniel and you already submitted my application?"

Bill's eyes widened at his daughter's harsh and open irony. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Dana let out an annoyed chuckle. "Does it even occur to you that I might have other plans?"

"You're not talking about that crazy FBI idea, are you? That's absolutely out of the question!"

Bill shook his head. Ever since Dana had first mentioned that she had been approached by an FBI recruiter, he refused to even talk about it, always wiping the topic away with a dismissive wave of his hand, just like he was doing now.

"Bill, please," Maggie cut in as she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

The family dinner which had started out so nice and enjoyable was at the brink of turning into a veritable family argument. They hadn't been together like this for quite a while because the final exams of med school had accounted for all of Dana's free time. Now that all the tests - written, practical, and oral - were taken and they were waiting for the results, doubting not even for a nanosecond that her marks would be anything but excellent, their daughter finally allowed herself to spend an evening away from her textbooks at her parents' house.

"It's my life we're talking about here, dad, and not that many graduates get recruited right out of medical school by the FBI. I would get the chance to specialize in forensic pathology and might be teaching at the Academy later on. That's really something I can see myself in."

Maggie noticed how Dana's tensed-up body posture relaxed a bit, how exhilaration took over. It showed clearly how excited she was about this. Unfortunately, her husband wasn't this sensitive, for he exclaimed indignantly, "pathology? A medical doctor saves lives and does not cut open dead people who can't be helped anymore. It's stupid!"

"Stupid? Pathology is a medical specialty like any other. It isn't about some morbid slicing and dicing, it's about getting to the bottom of why and how a person died. It's science. Forensic pathology is a substantial part of solving criminal cases and convicting murderers. I would be saving lives by keeping potential victims from harm by killers that I helped to put behind bars."

Dana's passionate advocacy of forensic pathology didn't impress Ahab one bit. He didn’t seem to listen to her at all actually, Maggie noticed. Instead, he was pulling another ace from his sleeve; or so he thought.

"You really want to be a Fed, Dana? Lowsy pay and small reputation included?"

"This is what this is actually all about, isn't it? Pay and reputation." It wasn't meant as a question. "Your daughter being an underpaid federal agent wouldn't be anything you'd be comfortable talking about in your old boys' circle, would it? Your offspring performing open heart surgery though would be something else, something you wouldn't hesitate a second to let your friends know. Right, Dad?"

Ahab took a step backward. Was he perhaps impressed in some way by Dana's accusatory tone, Maggie marveled. There was a kernel of truth in it somewhere, for sure. Her husband had always loved letting his environment know how well his beloved Starbuck was doing. Dana had hit a blind spot with her angry words, she read from the change in Bill's whole demeanor and facial features. He had not only taken a step away from his daughter, not towering her anymore, but his whole body posture collapsed. His arms, which he had been fidgeting with, were hanging limply all of a sudden, his chin, which had been lifted challengingly, had sunken to his chest, and his eyes, which had been boring through Dana's just a moment ago, were avoiding hers now. He gritted his teeth so hard his jaw pushed through visibly. Maggie had very rarely seen her husband searching for words; this was one of the times.

"It's just...Daniel...well, he says you're really good at it and that you'd have a bright future in cardiology," he eventually tried to defend himself, but Dana didn't want to hear any of it.

"Daniel? Daniel says? And what Daniel says is necessarily right? You don't trust me to make my own choice? To know what's good for me?"

Ahab tried to fend off the accusations he had been showered with a feeble, "you're getting it all wrong, Dana." Maggie almost felt like stepping up and pairing with him to form a consistent parental entity. It was what they had always done when serious arguments with their children occurred, she was wondering why she was somehow reluctant to do so now. Before she got to the bottom of the motivation, or rather lack thereof, Dana's voice filled the room again.

"I don’t think I'm getting anything wrong here! It's so typical for men to believe they are to make choices for us women. I mean, did mom ever had a say in whether she wanted to pursue her career after you got married?"

Maggie's heart skipped a beat and she realized that her daughter was unconsciously rubbing her nose into what was keeping her from backing her husband up in this matter.

"Your mother knew what it meant to be a Navy wife," Bill said without even looking at her as if the woman he was talking about wasn't in the same room standing just a few inches away from him.

"That does not mean she wouldn't have liked to keep working. She loved being a teacher, didn't you, mom?" Dana exclaimed, her glaring eyes meeting her mother's.

"I, uh-," Maggie started but was interrupted instantly by her husband.

"She was happy to be a housewife and mother."

"You didn't even let her answer herself just now, for Christ's sake! Was she allowed to have an opinion of her own back then? Did you even ask her or agreed upon what was good for her together with grandpa, just like you are doing for me right now with Daniel?"

Without even taking another breath Dana turned to Maggie and implored, "mom! Don't you have anything to say to this?"

"Watch your mouth, young lady! I am not to be spoken to in this tone by any of my children. And neither is your mother." Ahab's words came out of his mouth like shots out of a machine gun. Sharp, cold, deadly, but Dana would not let herself get intimidated.

"I'm an adult, dad! I'm not a kid anymore you can force to take piano lessons just so she can play Mozart to your party guests for their entertainment and your sick fatherly pride."

"How dare you-"

"Stop it! Now! Both of you!"

Maggie had been listening to what was being said about her with a mixture of shock, anger, and regret until she drowned the gamecocks in a high-pitched voice. She knew that if they went on, they would be saying something they regretted later. They had never been in an argument like this, mainly because Dana had always been a child trying to please her father, always wanting to make him proud of her. These times seemed to have come to an end. She was obviously ready to disobey his wishes, and Maggie secretly believed that it actually wasn't such a bad thing. Even though she herself had been pulled into their fight, she knew that right now was not the time to voice her own feelings about the whole FBI matter. Right now she had to protect father and daughter from getting themselves into a rage and saying something so hurtful the wounds left behind would be difficult to heal. Ahab and Starbuck had always been so close, if they tore themselves asunder over this, it would break both of their hearts; and Maggie's own heart along with it.

Both were staring at her, flabbergasted by her temperamental, forceful outburst. They weren't used to her speaking up, reining people in so openly. She usually tried to appease, to sugarcoat cracks and to smooth out disagreements within the family. "Don't look at me like this!" she said. "Did you even realize how you were yelling at each other? This is not how we talk to each other in this family!"

Maggie had a distinct need for harmony and every family member relied on it. No matter how severe the dispute was, everybody knew she would later arbitrate between the parties and make them reconcile again. Throughout her married life, she'd played the mediator between her husband and his children as well as between the siblings many times, had always tried to be impartial, to not take one side but make them see the other's point of view, to understand each other. It had always worked best like this. Until today. Today she would leave her neutral position and speak up for the person she believed had a reason.

"Dana is right, Bill," she said and was surprised about how easily the words were leaving her mouth.

"What?" her husband retorted, apparently dumbfounded by the statement which was so openly in conflict with his own opinion on this matter.

"What?" Dana whispered, equally caught off-guard like her father but in a more positive way.

"She's right. It's her choice to make, not ours."

Here she was again, Margaret Scully, a loyal wife to her husband, joining him as a parent by calling it their choice when as a matter-of-fact it had been just his. It was fair enough though, to not push him in the corner and blame him alone because if she was honest, she would have to admit that she was also not fond of her daughter's idea to join the FBI, but for totally different reasons.

Ahab's face turned red, anger creeping through his body. "What's going on in your minds, you Scully women? Very well, then," he spat but knew better than to start another argument with his wife now. He let out an exasperated huff, turned on his heel, and took a beer out of the refrigerator and mumbled under his breath, "I'm outside."

"Great," Dana hissed right after the porch door had been closed with a loud 'bang' seconds later, "now he's mad at me and you."

"That's alright, sweetheart. He's going to calm down again. We let him have his beer and give him time to think."

"I'm a disappointment for him because I'm not taking the career path he wants me to."

Maggie gasped. It hurt to see Dana being so hard on herself. Children weren't determined to fulfill their parents' dreams, they should aspire their very own goals.

"It's your life, Dana. You have to decide on your own. You've already signed the contract, haven't you?"

"No, but I really want to do this, mom."

"Yes, I can see your determination, but I always thought it was medicine you wanted to work in."

"I've never given anything else much thought until the FBI approached me."

"What is it with law enforcement that interests you so much?"

"It's not law enforcement per se but the opportunity to specialize in pathology. That's science, mom. Searching for the cause of death in a dead body is scientific work. It will challenge my intellect in many more ways than doing one heart catheter investigation after another. You remember that I wrote my undergraduate thesis about Einstein, don't you? If dad hadn't pressured me into medicine, I might've as well graduated in physics. I love science, mom."

"I know you do, but all this time you spent in medical school...you worked so hard for your degree, sweetheart. Are you willing to throw this all away?"

"I'm not throwing it away. A pathologist is a medical doctor like any other, and if I find out that the FBI is nothing for me, I can start as a resident at a hospital in cardiology or pediatrics any time. Johns Hopkins won't give me another chance probably but there are enough renowned hospitals in America." She looked at her mother with tears in her eyes, searching for some understanding. "I really want to give this a try, mom."

"You've already made up your mind," Maggie realized.

"Yes. I have an appointment with HR at the FBI headquarters this week. Field training will start next month."

Maggie tensed up. "You're going to be out in the field?"

"It's not intended. I get trained in forensic pathology and will work in the morgue and the lab mainly. Any time later, I might also be teaching at Quantico."

"Not intended? Does that mean it might happen nonetheless? That you have to go out into the field to track down criminals?"

"Mom, it's the FBI after all. I mean, it's part of the training and I have to do what I'm assigned to. If they need my expertise out in the field one day, I might be partnered up with someone. You know how it works in a federal institution, people are not asked but ordered."

Yes, being married to a naval captain, Maggie knew how it worked. Her family had been ordered to relocate to a different Navy base on short notice more than once, and her husband had been commandeered to dangerous missions around the globe never ever taking into consideration whether his wife was pregnant or his children had just made new friends at school. She also knew what it was like to worry about a beloved one on a daily basis, how to cope with the constant fear that something might happen to them. Maggie knew all of this and she wasn't sure how she was supposed to get through it once again. When Ahab had eventually retired from active military service and started working behind a desk, assuming a consulting role at the base, it had taken months until she had learned to not expect a compassionate Navy officer tell her something happened to her husband behind every nightly ring of the phone or urgent knock at the door. And now it would start all over again. How she wished her daughter would spare her dealing with this kind of fear.

She was fearing for Bill, Jr. already, her oldest son, who had followed his father's footsteps into the Navy. But he was tall and strong. A man. Dana was so small and fragile. Not any less fierce than her older brother, probably even more tenacious than he, but wouldn't she easily be outrun and overpowered by a muscled male criminal? Wouldn't she be bullied as a woman in a male-dominated environment? Maggie knew the FBI was as much an old boys' club as the Navy. Her daughter would have to fight herself through the system day in and day out. What a tough path she was choosing for herself.

Maggie sighed quietly but wouldn't voice her inhibitions. She would swallow her fears down and would resist the temptation to ask Dana to stay in the medical field just so her mother would be able to sleep more peacefully. Her daughter had every right to do whatever she wanted. It was her life, her career, her choice, and in a way she admired her guts. She would stand up to any man who underestimated her like she had stood up to her father today. Who would have thought that the tiny rosy bundle she had held prematurely in her arms all those years ago after a complicated pregnancy and difficult childbirth would grow up to become such a powerful and strong personality.

"I'm so proud of you, Dana," Maggie said, working hard though to mask her underlying worries.

"Thanks, mom, but you're the only one I'm afraid. Dad's never going to accept it."

"Don't underestimate your father. Give him some time to get used to the idea."

Dana shook her head. "Let's face it, he's disappointed in me."

"You have to go on your own way, Dana, not on the one your father wants to see you on. He will understand eventually."

"Do you really think so?"

"He's your father, and he loves you no matter what."

Maggie was sure of it. His love for his daughter was infinite. One day he would be able to swallow down his pride and see Dana's choice for what it was, an autonomous decision by his grown-up daughter. Something else was on Maggie's mind though. Her father wasn't the only dominant male figure in Dana's life.

"What's Daniel's reaction to your decision?"

Dana looked away. It took her a moment until she answered her mother. "I'm going to break up with him, mom."

"Oh. Because of this?"

"No...yes...well, I guess it's the straw that broke the camel's back. He's been so patronizing lately. He's not only planned my residency but has also more or less outlined my whole career after that. Can you imagine? I mean, who does he think he is that he acts like my goddamn guardian?"

A wave of relief was rolling over Maggie. She'd always thought that Dana's relationship with Daniel was not sufficiently based on equality although she had never mentioned anything to Dana, Dana was old enough to decide who she dated.

Daniel was Dana's teacher in medical school. He was an accomplished man, married, which bugged Maggie in particular. Not because she saw Dana as an adulteress - it had been the man's own decision to leave his wife and teenage daughter to get involved with one of his students - but because he used her, bathed himself in how she looked up to him. He enjoyed the role of her mentor, both in the medical field as in how to lead her life. Of course, he wanted her to do her residency under his wings in his hospital. It would give him the perfect opportunity to guard her furthermore, to mold her into what he saw in her.

A clear cut was maybe for the best. A completely clean slate. Another professional environment, another city, another man eventually. Maggie would hate to see her independent-minded, self-assured, and autonomous daughter permanently with someone who didn't treat her as an equal. There had to be men out there who saw her inner height and didn’t mistake her for a little girl just because she was petite. But Maggie also knew that Dana loved Daniel, that she had thought not long ago she would share her entire life with him. Breaking up wouldn't be easy.

"I better get going, mom. I don't think dad is coming back inside as long as I'm here."

"But what about dessert? I made your favorite." 

Even if it was a bit silly to believe there was even the slightest chance the three of them would be sitting at the table together having dessert, Maggie tried.

"Apple crumble with vanilla sauce and whipped cream?"

"Uh huh," Maggie confirmed.

She had even made the vanilla sauce herself this time. She hadn't done that in a while because of the time-consuming work involved, but the ones you could buy consisted more of sugar and artificial flavor than real bourbon vanilla, and that was what Ahab and Dana liked the most.

"Especially for your father and you."

"You're the best, mom." Dana flew into her arms and hugged her tightly. "I'm so sorry I ruined the evening, but I had to tell dad sooner or later. As much as I love your apple crumble, I lost my appetite. I don't think I can get anything down now."

"Take some home, dear. You can have it later, or tomorrow. I made it this morning, it'll persist a few days."

Dana gifted her one of her warm, genuine smiles. "I'd love to."

After Dana had said her goodbye with two Tupperware boxes in her hand and the front door closed shut behind her, Maggie stepped through the screen door out on the patio behind the house. Ahab was sitting in one of the deckchairs. His eyes were closed but he wasn't sleeping. There was an empty beer bottle on the floor and one half-full in his hand. He put it to his mouth and took a swig.

"Has she left?" he asked without opening his eyes.

"Yes. She told me to say goodbye."

He chuckled condescendingly. "There were times she gave me a hug before she left."

"Well, you didn't really make the impression you wanted to be hugged tonight."

He snorted, sat upright, put the bottle to his lips and emptied it in one gulp.

"Shall I get you another one?"

"Are you trying to appease after having stabbed me in the back?"

"I haven't stabbed you in the back, Bill. I just spoke out what I thought was right."

"It's not right that she throws away her medical degree and goes into law enforcement instead. The FBI, for heaven's sake, Maggie! She'll spend her time in a dull governmental building behind a utilitarian desk. She'll have to fight with the audit department over expenses more than she'll take criminals into custody. She'll waste years accomplishing nothing until she realizes she made a mistake." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe the money we paid for medical school was all for naught."

"Haven't you listened at all? She told us that she would specialize in forensic pathology."

"She could be a heart surgeon but wants to become a pathologist? That doesn't make any sense! Why doesn't she see what Daniel is offering her?"

"He might actually be part of the problem."

"Huh?"

"Daniel is part of the problem, Bill," Maggie repeated with more emphasis. "Can't you see that Dana wants to stand on her own two feet? That she wants neither her father nor her partner to tell her what career path to choose? Is that really so hard for you to understand? She wants to make her own decisions."

"You mean she's doing this to get one over on me?"

Maggie sighed. "No, Bill, this has nothing to do with you. Or Daniel. That's exactly the point."

Bill shook his head and put the bottle to his lips to take another swig. Realizing it was empty, he snorted. After contemplating for a moment, he popped a question which had obviously been bothering him for the time he had been out on the patio.

"Uhm...Maggie...what Dana said..."

"Yes, dear?" she said warmly. She had an idea of what was on his mind. They had never spoken about it, not even once since they were married, and she found it ironic in a way that one of their kids had to bring the topic up.

"What she said about you...uh, you giving up teaching," Ahab continued stammering.

"Yes?"

"Would you have rather continued working? Instead of...I mean..."

"Being there for you and the kids?" she completed his thought and added with a smile, "no."

"Hmm," he grunted apparently not fully convinced.

"Times were different then, Ahab. Today, it might have been possible for me to be a teacher and a housewife and mother, but not back then. You were right when you said that I knew what it would be like to be a Navy wife, and I chose to be one. I loved you, and I wanted to have children with you."

"Did you ever..." Instead of finishing the sentence he bit his lower lip.

"Regret it? No. Not a single day." "Hmm," Bill gruntled again, staring at the empty beer bottle in his hands, peeling the label off. "Why does Dana have to be so stubborn?" "Oh, Bill," Maggie laughed good-naturedly, "because we raised her to be an emancipated woman with an independent mind and a strong will. When has Dana ever been inconsiderate or unreasonable? Huh, Bill? I'm sure she's given this much thought, and I'm also sure that the feeling she's disappointing you is hard for her to handle. She adores you, Ahab." "Weird way of showing me," he mumbled, softening a bit. His shoulders, which had been tense were slowly descending, his brows returned to their original spots, and the wrinkles on his forehead were fading. He breathed in deeply and let the tension flow out of his body with a prolonged exhale. Maggie seized the moment to go for his soft spot again. "She's still your Starbuck." His special nickname for her, being the only person allowed to call her like that, never missed having an effect on him. He was relenting even more. "Yes, sure. Of course, she is." Maggie took the empty bottle out of her husband's hand and put it on the floor next to the other. She pushed the second deckchair right beside his, placed herself in it, and intertwined her fingers with his. After a while, she asked, "are you ready for some apple crumble for dessert?" "You made apple crumble?" "It's Dana's and your favorite. The plan was to spoil you a bit tonight." "Did you buy that sugar-sweet sauce again?" "No, I made it myself. Following your mother's recipe." Bill Scully smiled lovingly at his wife and squeezed her hand tenderly. He pulled it up to his mouth and placed a soft kiss on its back. "I don't deserve you. I'm sorry the evening turned out like this. I know how much you like to have your children around. They drop by seldom enough." "It's okay, darling. You said what you had to say. Just don't be too strict with her. She's doing what she feels is right. She's not doing it to purposely contradict you." Bill left it at that for a moment. "I can't believe the money we spent on medical school," he said again and groaned. "Well, you never know, Ahab. Dana will be a medical doctor, one way or another, and who knows what the FBI has in store for her. She might become the Bureau's first female director," she said with a smile. He let that sink in for a moment, and although the fact that his daughter would not become a heart surgeon was still bugging him, this new idea soothed him a little. Maggie could imagine what was going on in his mind. If there was a woman capable of achieving this seemingly unreachable position for a female, it would have to be his Starbuck. "You did give her some dessert to take home, right? She loves your apple crumble." "Sure." Maggie smiled. Despite all the grievances Ahab had aired this evening, he cared very much for Dana. Inside the strict Navy captain was a devoted father; devoted to all his children but particularly to his younger daughter. And even if it seemed to Dana that he had been a dominant husband, having pressured her into a life as a housewife and mother, it had been her own wish to be this exactly, a supporting wife to her husband and a loving mother to her children. Maggie knew Bill treasured her, that he had never even thought of anyone else but her to share his life with. He had always been a loyal husband and family man, and she had relied on him to provide for her and the kids in return. She never had the feeling she had missed or lost anything because she had once decided to marry him. On the contrary, he had given her four wonderful children and a sheltered life. For that, she was infinitely thankful. She loved him.

[ficdirectory]

Somewhere Inside (Disuphere series #4) Chapter 60

(To listen, click here) - 13:23

It takes Levi a little bit to realize that he and Mariana are the only two in the cabin.  Pearl and Jesus are next door, at home, and Dominique and Frankie are out having nature time.  Levi finds Mariana in the living room on the couch with her I-Pad in front of her.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

Mariana sighs, frustrated.  “Trying to catch up on reading I missed so I can eventually go back to school, but at this rate...I’ll be reading forever.  And it’s not like it matters anyway…  Moms don’t think I’m ready to go back.  They plan on keeping me home.  Until I’m 30,” Mariana mutters.

“Why won’t they let you go back?  Like, what did you do that was so bad?” Levi asks.

“You don’t know?” Mariana seems surprised.  “Pearl...Frankie...nobody told you?”

“No,” Levi answers.  “And if you don’t want to, that’s fine.  It just...seems a bit extreme to me…”

“I was in a car accident...a year ago, in March.  I got a brain injury or whatever.  And, yeah, it’s changed me.  But they seem to think...that I’m...some...whatever...damaged…  They treat me...like I’m damaged.  Like they...have to settle...for this broken Mariana...and they resent it.”

Levi just looks at Mariana.  He hopes she can see the compassion in his eyes.  That he cares about her.  “That’s messed up,” he offers.  In case his POV isn’t clear.

“See?  I used to be really smart?  I built robots in high school.  Like...a total math and science geek.  And now…?  I mean, I have one Elsa moment at home.  Where I, like, took it out on our room.  Wrecked everything in it.  Swore at Frankie when she tried to come in.  But I was trying to protect her.  ‘Cause, like Elsa, I didn’t really know, like, how to do emotions like this.  For the longest time, I didn’t have energy to...do anything...and all of them were trapped...” Mariana shares.  

“Under the cotton?” Levi asks, remembering how Mariana had described her disconnect from her feelings.

“Under the cotton, yeah,” Mariana confirms.“It was when Moms told me I...couldn’t go back to school...because nobody knew if I’d still...be able to...even do it?”

Levi cringes.  “Sounds like a reasonable reaction to me.  Yours, not theirs.  Haven’t your moms ever heard of accommodations?  Kids at my school got them all the time.”

“I mean...Mama works at a Charter school.  That’s where all of us went.  There’s no kids that need accommodations.  Even Frankie is...like...disabled on the DL.  Nobody knows at school and she doesn’t get any help, even where she could really use it.”

“That sounds...so illegal…” Levi breathes.

“I guess Charter schools have the right to do it that way.  Anyway, this is their...like...where they come from.  This world,” Mariana tries to explain.

“Where any disability is hidden?” Levi bristles.

“And so...my reaction...to them...canceling school on me.  College.  Whatever.  They took that as...the biggest ‘inappropriate outburst,’” around this, Mariana makes finger-quotes.  “For a while, they wouldn’t let Fran near me.  Another time?  We were doing game night.  Moms are…  They love Monopoly?” Mariana squints.

“Why?” Levi whines.  “It’s so boring…”

“And...not ideal...for someone who...has trouble with numbers...and filtering...and reading...and stamina,” Mariana lists.

“Yeah, sounds like a rude choice,” Levi comments.

“Oh, it gets ruder.  So Moms decide we’re gonna play Monopoly Junior…”

“Oh...no, they didn’t…” Levi gasps.  “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Mariana echoes.  “Like I wasn’t gonna notice they suddenly switched from the regular game to the game that 5-year-olds could play.  Frankie was ten.  She’d been playing the real version forever.  She hated the kids version.  Said it was too babyish.”

Levi winces.

“But it was still too much to look at.  Spaces on the board in different colors.  Cards.  Money.  Game pieces.  Dice.  I had a headache to start with.  It was after dinner and I just had no energy left.  Even looking at the board was exhausting me.  I took a turn, and Mom corrected me.  I tried to get up and leave.  She told me I should be a good example.  A good sport.  So I stayed.”

“So you had to stay in overstimulating hell?” Levi asks, sympathetic.

“I took a few more turns.  Every time, I did something wrong.  Grabbed the wrong game piece, misread the dice.  Like, didn’t factor in having to pay for a space someone else owned?  Finally, it was my turn again and I just flipped the board.  Everybody was mad.  And Moms talked behind my back about how unpredictable I was.  How I might not get any better.”

“How do you do it?” Levi asks, incredulous.  “How do you stay?”

“Someone’s gotta be there for Frankie.  They treat her...not the same...but they don’t factor her CP in at all.  It’s not fair.”

“If you guys ever need a friend?  Video chat me.  I’ll always be around.  Except if I’m working in hell, as Pearl calls it.”

“You gotta get fired from there…” Mariana objects.  

“Get fired from hell?” Levi smirks.  “Nah, I could never.  We need groceries.  Plus, it’s not like Peanut Butter Cookie can bother me anymore.”

“I know, I just…  You hate it there.” Mariana points out.

“I really do.  But it’s a job.  It pays the bills....actually it only pays the grocery bill, but that’s something.”

“It is.” Mari nods.  “Are you okay?  Like...with all the stuff this week?”

“Nervous about going back…” Levi confides, nodding next door.  “Last time I was there?  It was like, she tossed the place.  Like she was looking for something.  Everything was there.  She didn’t take anything.  But it still feels…” Levi trails off.

“Like, yeah, I know what you mean.  The only thing I can think of is aliens arriving...”

“Because alien invasion,” Levi’s eyes light up.  “It is!  It’s an invasion.  I love how your mind works.”

Mariana scoffs.  “You don’t have to say that…”

“I know I don’t.  But it’s true.  I think it’s cool.  The connections.  The approximations.  How you cope.” Levi observes.

“Moms keep telling me I need to keep working.  In therapy or whatever.  They don’t want me to plateau,” Mariana wrinkles her nose.  

Levi looks at her, confused.

“I guess it’s this thing, in brain injury recovery?  Once you reach a certain point of progress, you just…”  Mariana demonstrates an upward slant suddenly leveling flat, and staying flat.

“Oh,” Levi says.

“Yeah.  They wanted Frankie and me to come here.  Like, so they could have a break.  But they also tried to get me to stay at the last minute.  To keep doing rehab stuff.  And, of course, I wanna improve.  But they don’t get that sometimes?  I need a break.”

“I get that,” Levi says.

“But they think I shouldn’t get a break until I’m back…” Mariana looks away and blinks back tears.

“Back?” Levi echoes, concerned.

“Mariana, the math genius…” she manages.

Levi just listens.  Opens his arms and she scoots closer, nodding. Levi puts his arms around her.  Just holds on.  “They’re so mean to you,” he says, sympathetic.  “You don’t deserve that.”

He just holds on for a while, glad to be able to be here for Mariana, when she’s come through at some major times for him.  Levi’s glad that he can reciprocate.

Eventually she backs out of the hug, and wipes her eyes.  “Sorry.  It’s just like...this is my life now.  And I can’t even share it with Jesus.  ‘Cause he’s not there.” Mariana shrugs.

“I’m glad you came,” Levi tells her.  

“I’m glad you were here,” Mari tells him.

It’s quiet for a while.  But neither one of them rush to fill the silence.  Eventually, he offers.  “If you need...like if...audio’s better?  I can read that out loud?” Levi gestures to her tablet.

“No, you don’t have to.  It’s boring,” Mariana insists.

“I’m offering,” Levi points out, matter of fact.

“Okay.  Just...however fast you usually read?  Can you slow that way down?” Mariana wonders.

“Sure,” Levi agrees, and for a while he just reads aloud.  The material’s dense, so reading slowly is a good idea all around.  

After a few pages, Mariana stops him.  “Okay, that’s enough for now.”

“Okay,” Levi agrees and sets the tablet aside.

“See?  If I said that to my moms?  They’d instantly push back.  Want me to do more.”

“Well, there’s these things called boundaries, and respect and consent.  Maybe they’ve heard of them,” Levi quips.

“Oh, they have.  They just think...they only apply to Jesus.  And even then?  Only sometimes.”

Levi makes a face.

Then, he takes a breath.  Hesitantly.  “Speaking of not pushing…” Levi ventures.  “I really appreciate how you haven’t pushed to know specifics of…”

“Peanut Butter Cookie?” Mariana fills in.

“Right,” Levi nods.  “If it were me and Pearl knew something but I didn’t, I know I’d probably feel really left out and like it was personal.  I’m glad you get that this isn’t.  Personal.  And at the same time, it is.  Very personal,” Levi manages.

“I get it.  I had a thing happen.  Things happen.  When I was little.  Usually, Jesus was around to stop it, but if he ever wasn’t or fell asleep.” Mariana shrugs.

“I’m sorry.” Levi apologizes and means it.  And then, “I had a thing happen, too.”

“It changes you,” Mariana allows.

“Yeah.  I guess I’m realizing...trauma does that…” Levi manages.

“We have a group if you wanna join,” Mariana offers.

“I’m already in The Avoiders.  Like, officially,” Levi says, confused.

“Yeah, this is different.  A support group?  For people, who’ve had the things happen to them.” Mariana explains.  “I’m in it, and you might recognize some other people, too.”

“So, it wouldn’t just be me and strangers?” Levi asks.

“Nope,” Mariana says.  “And it’s online, so you don’t have to go anywhere.  But no pressure.”

“I wanted to thank you,” Levi says clearing his throat.  “I mean, while we still have time...for being there for me through all the versions of Peanut Butter Cookie.”  Levi reaches in his pocket.  Pulls out the apple hand sanitizer.  “Thought you might want this back.”

“No, keep it,” Mariana insists.  “I have peach and cucumber melon in my purse, so…”

“Oh, wow.  But I got apple, because…” Levi wonders.

“It’s the strongest.  I know sensory triggers are the worst.  I know we need something strong to fight them.” Mariana says simply.

“Can I have details on this group?  For people who’ve had things happen?”

“Yeah.  It’s Friday nights.  8:45.  The time changes, but that’s what it’s been.” Mariana fills him in.

Levi makes a note in his phone.  He watches Mariana do the same.  

“So, I’ll remember to add you into the call.” Mariana says.  “And obviously, this group is like...private.  Like, we don’t share names or details or anything about anybody else.  And nobody else shares about you ever.”

“Got it,” Levi nods.  “Thanks for including me.”

“You’re one of us.  You’re always included.” Mariana insists.

They sit together for a while longer.  Exchange birthdays so they can put them in their calendars.

“Can I like...put an L in every April?” Mariana checks.  “So I know to check in with you about Peanut Butter Cookie?”

“Can I know your traumaversary date?” Levi asks.  “So I can check in with you?”

“March 4th,” Mariana confides.

“Cool if I put an M there?” Levi checks.

Mariana nods.

“You like cards?  Or think they’re corny?” he asks.

“I like cards,” she nods.  “You?”

“Not sure there’s a card for that…” Levi bristles.

“Video chat?” she checks.  

“Yeah.  I’d love to see your face.  Whenever,” Levi says.

Mariana blushes.  

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it..like that…” Levi stutters.  “I mean, I would love to see you, I just...made it super awkward.  I’m sorry.” Levi grins, embarrassed.

Mariana laughs.  Levi realizes this might be one of the first times he’s heard it.  Or really tuned into it.  It’s like music.  He’s gonna miss all of them when they go.  But maybe, especially, Mariana.  Even though they haven’t spoken a ton, Levi has always felt understood by her.  And judging by her openness with him?  Levi might venture to say Mari feels similarly.

He just can’t imagine being without her.  Without all of them.  Come tomorrow.

“Super awkward is perfect for me,” Mariana reassures. “Same?”

“So same, I can’t believe it,” Levi smiles.

[djinmer4]

Bookends 1 of 2 (Lovecraft AU)

“So you’re going into space.  Looking forward to your trip, fraulein?”

“No, not really.  Space scares me.  All that vacuum surrounding me and if one little thing goes wrong, poof!”  Kitty clapped her hands together.  “There are no second chances in space.  One mistake and you’re dead.”  She shivered.  “But Jean says that something important is happening, there’s someone there we need to rescue, so to space I go.”

“You can’t stay behind?  Marie and Bobby aren’t going.”  A blob of shadow rested at the foot of her bed like some abyssal hellhound.

“Rogue and Iceman have a different mission they need to attend to.  And the only reason Kelly’s letting us go up in the shuttle at all is because I asked him.  I can’t not go unless we want to break into a government facility, and Mr. Summers is right.  As the most public mutant organization in the US, we can’t afford to have the bad PR that stunt would generate.”

“Take some of the bamfs with you.  If you get into trouble, they can teleport you all back here.  I know you’ve been practicing with them.”

She shook her head.  “Are you kidding?  Can you imagine how much chaos the bamfs could cause in that type of environment?  No, they have to stay home.”

A twitching tail (for sanity’s sake she refused to admit it was another tentacle) wrapped around her wrist.  “Who exactly is going up?”

“Myself, Jean, Cyclops, and Beast.  Storm can’t be in such a closed environment for long due to her claustrophobia, Iceman and Rogue are on a mission already, and Scott doesn’t trust Logan after you ate his mind.  Angel and Colossus can’t fit into the space suits and Dazzler’s on tour.  There’s one more slot to fill, but I can’t think of anyone else I’d actually want up there with me.  I guess the original crew can just throw dice or rock-paper-scissors it to decide which of them also gets to go with us.”

“Hmm, why don’t I go with you?”

“You?  Like any of us are going to trust you in a tense situation like that!”

“I’m hurt, liebling.”  A massive grin split the creature’s face in half.  “If there’s one thing you can trust me for, it’s that I always keep my word.  If I promise to aid you in your mission and not seek any to kill, hurt or traumatize you for the duration, you know my aid would be invaluable.”

She gave him a suspicious glare out of her hazel eyes, but he did have a point.  Everything Yana had told her and all of Jimaine’s books had agreed that the Crawling Chaos took his bargains very seriously.  It wouldn’t prevent him from exploiting loopholes, but as long as it was more entertaining to keep them intact, he could probably be counted on.  Still . . .

“Are you going looking like that?  Because there’s a Dr. Corveau who’s still coming on the mission not to mention the crew of the station.”

“You underestimate me, kinder.”  He sat up, pulled Jimaine Szardos’s face out of thin air, and placed it on the blobby area that might have been a head.  Paralyzed with shock, Kitty watched as the form solidified to a female human’s, the complexion lightened from indigo blue to pale peach and gold hair started growing from the head.

“No!” She shouted.  “Don’t do that!  Not someone we’ve all seen you kill.”

“I have others.”  He pulled the mask off (a scene that was going to repeat itself in Kitty’s nightmares) then conjured another one in its place.  Kitty turned around and closed her eyes, only looking back when the sticky wet noises of the transformation had stopped.

The man who stood there was actually fairly handsome, with pale Caucasian skin, curly black hair and deep blue eyes.  He was maybe a handspan taller than her, and well-muscled although not to the point of absurdity.  His nose and jaw were both a trifle too large for his face, just enough to save his facade from boring perfection.

“You forgot that you’ll need clothes.”

“Oops!”

“Shroud, who’s the last-minute addition to the team?” Cyclops asked as they flew to  Cape Canaveral.  “I hope you didn’t pull one of the students in for this.”

“Er, well, you see . . . “ Her shoulders slumped.  “It’s Nightcrawler.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“He wanted to come along!  And it’s not like I can stop him from doing whatever he wants!  At least this way he won’t freak out the Dr. Corveau or the station crew.”

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t get hungry during the trip.”

“Tschk!  Humans.”  The Crawling Chaos looked at the gas coming through the vents.  “I don’t suppose that idiot will open the door until everyone’s out.  So I guess I’ll just have to come to him instead.”

The black-haired ‘man’ walked over to the inner airlock.  He raised his ‘hands’ and tore through the 2.5 cm thick steel with ease.  On the other side were a couple of mind-controlled humans and a Shi’ar system commander.  Before any of them could react he teleported behind them.  Two swift but restrained blows destroyed the devices on the men’s necks, causing them to pass out.  While Nightcrawler was occupied with that, the Shi’ar dashed into the control room.  The other considered going after him but decided to work on rousing the X-Men instead.  

Once everyone was awake they ran to follow.  “You fools are too late to assist Lilandra!  I’ve detected the incoming portal and armed a cannon to fire on her ship as soon as it emerges!”

Dr. Corveau peered at the screens from behind Cyclops.  “I don’t what’s going on, but the targeting is still manual!  If we destroy the panel, we can prevent him from aiming, though the cannon will still fire!”

“Done!”  Before the Shi’ar could react, Cyclops fired his beams, causing the control board to blow up.  Unfortunately, it overloaded all those circuits and everything around them started sparking and flares appeared on the equipment.

Still, through the window, they could see the portal open up.  A ship of unknown design came through, then a beam of light from the station flashed at it.  To the X-Men’s relief and the Shi’ar’s dismay, the beam only clipped the side of the ship.

“Damn you!” hissed the red-armored alien.  “If I can take her down in my ship, then your efforts will have been in vain!”  With that he turned and ran through one of the side doors, taking two of the still mind-controlled humans with him.

“Dr. Corveau, Shroud, can you get the panel working again?  Maybe we can use the cannon he attached to shoot him down.”  The two technologically inclined members of the mission didn’t even bother looking.

“I think attaching the cannon in the first place did some damage.  Between firing it and you destroying the panel, this station’s about to blow!”

“Back to the shuttle!”  Before anyone could move, black tentacles came up from the ground and grabbed everyone.  There was a loud BAMF, a sensation of heat and pressure, then everyone found themselves on the shuttle.  After a second, the two crewmen who had been helping the Shi’ar at the airlock also showed up, dropped from a black hole that appeared in midair.

“Thank you, Nightcrawler.”  Once they had cleared the station, barely dodging the explosion, Cyclops took stock of the situation.

“Jean, is the pilot of that ship the person we need to rescue from your premonition?”

“She is.”

“Alright, the shuttle doesn’t have any weapons.  I think we can still ram that other ship and interfere with its aim.  Dr. Corveau are you a skilled enough pilot to do that?”

“I am, but why are we doing all this?  We don’t know the person on the ship or the weird psychopath on the station.  Why don’t we just run away?”

“One of my mutant abilities is precognition,” stated Jean, still focused on the battle in front of them.  “I’m not clear on all the details, but I do know we have to rescue the person who came through the wormhole.  Otherwise, the entire Earth will be enslaved.”

“And how accurate are your predictions?”

“Over 80%.  And most of the ones that don’t come true are due to people taking actions based on my prompting.  We don’t want this one to come true.”

“Besides,” broke in Kitty.  “The other guy was definitely mind-controlling the station crew.  That’s evil enough that we should at least give his opponent the benefit of the doubt.”

“Points taken.”  Dr. Corveau steered them towards the pursuing ship.  While they closed in, Cyclops had another idea.  “Nightcrawler, would it be possible for you to teleport the escaping party here?  Then we could just let the other ship blow up and fake his or her death.”

“I cannot.”  The statement was so unexpected it drew every X-Man’s attention.  A flash of sharp teeth warned them from making any derogatory statements.  “Or rather I could, but I choose not to.  Call it professional courtesy.

“I could teleport you to the other ship but I don’t recommend it.  The quarters there are quite cramped and most of you would not survive having your insides melded with inanimate objects.  Shroud perhaps-”

“No.”  Cyclops was firm about this.  “Shroud has the least amount of combat training of all of us.  We’ll try-”

This time it was the ruby-glassed man’s turn to be cut off.  There was a large bang and the shuttle bucked and shuddered.  “I took out the pursuer’s weapons and he’s breaking off the chase, but we’ve got another problem now!”  Shouted Corveau from the cockpit.  Everyone raced back, except for Nightcrawler who sauntered like he had not a care in the world.

“I’ve damaged the steering,” said the physicist, jaw clenched with stress.  “There’s enough to get her down safely but not enough to get us out of the damaged ship’s blowback.”

“Will the other ship come down safely?”

“At this point, that’s up to how sturdily that ship was built and how good the pilot is.  Nothing we can do about it now.”  Cyclops nodded.

“Nightcrawler, can you teleport us back down?”

“Everyone but Jean.”

The taller man snarled.  “Let me guess, professional courtesy again?”

Fangs flashed again, causing Corveau to shrink away.  “Exactly”

“That’s unacceptable!”

“What if we put Jean in the solar module?” asked Beast, trying to head off another argument.  “Then the rest of us could teleport down and we could pick her up after this thing lands.  The module should be good enough to shield her from the radiation.”

“No good,” stated Corveau.  “I mean, the solar module could do that.  But the autopilot of the shuttle is out and someone will need to stay at the controls all the way down.  Whoever’s doing that is going to die.”

“What if we combine the two?”  Jean stepped in at this point.  “Everyone else goes into the solar module, while I stay out here and pilot.  I could take the knowledge of how to fly from Dr. Corveau and shield myself from the radiation with my kinetic abilities.  I’m the only one who has a chance to survive this, other than the obvious.”

“It’s too risky-”

“It’s my decision.”  Jean knocked out her former fiancee, then passed him to Beast.  She reached out to Dr. Corveau.  He hesitated for just a second.  “Are you sure?”

“It’s the only way I have a remote chance of surviving.”

“Alright then.”  He relaxed and let her touch his face, passing out when she was done.

Beast, Shroud, and Nightcrawler carried all the other knocked out humans into the solar module and sealed the door.

Beast and Shroud listened as the module shuddered and transmitted the scream of stressed metal from the outside.  Nightcrawler, on the other hand, continued to watch the door, a sinister smile on his face.

AN: I refuse to do the whole Phoenix Saga.  I don’t like the people involved and it pretty much goes the same way as the 90s cartoon, except Nightcrawler teleports more people and less angst about Jean.  So Part 2 is going to skip ahead to the end.  If anyone wants to write about what happened between the two parts, feel free.

[obscurelysevere]

Haven’t done one of these in AGES

A Art: When was the last time you painted something? God, it’s been ages! But it’s something I would really like to get back to doing. Especially watercolors.

Adventure: When was the last time you really felt alive, and what were…. …you doing? I was most likely in North Carolina. That always speaks to me.

Allergies: What is one thing that you are allergic to? Peach skin.

Answers: What is one question you would like an answer to? Why am I going through all of this?

Age: What has been your favorite age so far? 12. And 21,

B What month is your birthday? October.

Have you ever played house inside a big box? Not a box, but a fort in my bunk bed.

Are you boisterous? Rarely.

Have you ever dated a bad boy? Hah. No.

Name one thing you like that is blue: The ocean.

C Cinnamon–yay or nay? Cinnamon rolls, fuck yes!

Chocolate: do you love it? I like it some times.

Name one favorite type of candy. Sour Patch Kids,

Children: Name one favorite thing to do with kids while babysitting. Reading to them.

Carefree: Are you carefree? Not at all. I am very careful.

D When was the last time you danced like no one was watching? When I lived alone in my apartment.

Do you daydream? That’s all that I do, it seems.

Dreams: What is one of your dreams? To get a service dog.

What is one thing you are currently dreading? Waiting to get my pup.

Name something delicious. Peaches.

E Would you ride an elephant if given the opportunity? Absolutely not. I do NOT support the practice. The elephants face so much abuse when the tourists aren’t around. It’s not right.

Do you live life on the edge? God, no. I wish that I did. I want to.

Name something you like to eat: Teppenyaki.

Do you believe in everlasting life? No.

Name something that comes easy to you. Empathy.

F Name a fragrance you like. Lavender.

Are you a free spirit? Yes.

Are you fickle? Rarely.

Are you hiding your feelings from someone? Not at all.

Name one flavor you like. Ginger.

G Are you gentle? I try to be.

Are you generous? Again, I try to be.

Name something green. Limes.

Name a famous giant. Hagrid.

Are you a girl? Yes.

H Are you generally a happy person? At this point, it’s kind of a 50/50 roll of the dice.

Do you honor the holiness of the day? I do not, but I should probably start.

Do you believe in Heaven? Not the biblical heaven. But I believe in something.

Name one thing you are hoping for. My service dog!

Name one thing you hate. Being a broke sponge.

I Imagination: Write the name of one of your imaginary friends from when you…were younger. I never had any imaginary friends.

Issues: Name one magazine you subscribe to, if there is any. I don’t subscribe to anything right now.

Internet: Name one website you visit often. YouTube.

Itinerary: List one place you would like to visit. South Africa.

Interest: Name one thing that interests you. Science.

J Are you joyful? Not so much,

When was the last time you were filled with joy? In my dream the other night, with my new baby.

Can you jump high? Not in the least.

Name one girl’s name that starts with a J that you like. Jessie. ;)

Name one boy’s name that starts with a J that you like. Hmm... Jaxx is a good one. Which is funny, because I used to really not like that name. I thought it sounded like an industrial floor cleaner.

K Have you ever been kissed? Not in a looooong time.

Have you ever feared that you would be killed? Yes.

Are you kind? I do my best to be.

Who is your kindred spirit? @anoddityofsorts​

Name one thing you liked as a kid. Barbies.

L Do you love someone? I love a lot of someones!

Do you live out loud? Some days I feel like I do better than others.

Do you read food labels? Sometimes, especially if I’m trying to figure out the carbs.

Name something local that you like. The nature.

List one thing you like to do at the lake. Swim! Or kayak.

M Do you like… monkeys They’re alright.

music I do!

musicals Rarely.

mansions Not a fan.

miracles Absolutely. Who doesn't?

N Do you want something…. new A new puppy, yes!

nice Well, yeah.

neat Generally.

never-before-seen Depends?

nature-inspired Absolutely & always!

O How old are you? 25. 

What is the last great opportunity you missed? I try not to miss great opportunities.

Name one thing you like that’s orange (besides oranges). Sunsets.

Are you open? I try to be. I have nothing to hide.

Name something odd. My best friend.

P Are you… patient Not at all.

perky Sometimes.

pale A little?

peaceful I wish.

passionate Very.

Q Do you own a… quilt Yes! It’s hanging on my wall behind my bed.

quail What? No!

queen-size bed Yes.

quill pen No.

book of questions Yes! It’s a five year journal that has a new question for every day.

R Do you like to… run Ew, no.

rave Definitely not.

riddle Uh, no.

rhyme Only when I’m writing a song.

rap No.

S Are you ever… shy Rarely.

sensitive Very.

secretive Not totally.

sure I’m very UNsure.

stable Right now I am.

T Are you… ticklish I don’t think so.

trouble I’m pretty well behaved.

tall Nope.

thankful Very.

tactful Sometimes.

U Have you ever… ridden a unicyle Nope.

used an umbrella Duh.

visited an uncle Yes?

been undecided Yes!

played a ukelele No but I want to get one, and I want to learn!

V Do you own a… violin No, but I kind of want to.

vehicle Not at this moment. But I’ll (hopefully) be getting one soon!

violet dress I just got rid of one!

vampire cape No.

veil for a wedding dress Definitely not.

W What is something you wish for? To not have to fight for everything anymore.

Wonder: When was the last time you opened your eyes in wonder? Hell if I know.

Name five words you like. Vivid. Lavender. Orchid. Peach. Paradise.

What is something you wonder? What my purpose is in this life.

Name someone who thinks you are worthless. I don’t know if anyone really does.

X Have you ever… played a xylophone When I was little.

had an x-ray More than most people.

enjoyed exercise If it’s yoga! Or going on walks with my family.

had excision surgery Out of all the surgeries that I have had, that has not been one of them.

been excluded My entire high school career.

Y Are you young? Not on the inside.

Are you youthful? In spirit.

Did you have a big yard growing up? Yes! It’s beautiful. I love it.

What did you do yesterday? I relaxed after breaking my back cleaning all week long.

Do you like yams? Not just straight up.

Z Zeal: What are you passionate about? Animals.

Zing: Do you like raspberry lemonade? I like just about raspberry anything.

What’s your favorite zoo animal? All of the big cats.

Do you own anything from Zales? Uh, no.

List a name that starts with a Z. Zayne.

[norvicensiandoran]

It takes an extra spoon for me to clean my home blender so I used it less and also didn’t use canned fruit much and today I had a brilliant idea and made an entire gallon of smoothie in one go. Cleaning that pitcher and that blender once each takes way less spoons than cleaning the blender five times five different days. Also it uses the kind of food bank cans that just sit around sometimes. (I used 5 cans each of peaches and pears with a little vanilla soy milk.)

Likewise I have been having good success with this really off mac and cheese (just not the kind of cheese I’m used to - it wasn’t made in the US but wound up in food banks here and tastes VERY different and actually made me sick, so maybe it has even more lactose?), so I used just the noodles, and mixed them with a can each of diced carrots (or sliced carrots I cut up), corn, peas, green beans, and garbanzo beans, added only a very moderate amount of store bought miracle whip - bam, about a little over a half gallon of pasta salad.

Also pre prepped some tuna salad using just tuna and onions from the food bank, more miracle whip, along with mustard, and relish that I had to buy, (but were the only three things of this I had to buy) and got out bread from the freezer a couple slices at a time and just toasted them to dethaw because in spring bread seems to mold more here - prob just because I left the windows open some nicer days tbh. Also can just use crackers. Made some hard boiled eggs. Days of food using stuff I just had sitting around so that I don’t need nearly so many spoons on days I work, and all of it can be eaten cold. If you use diced carrots and not sliced it’s literally just boiling noodles and then dumping stuff into containers and stirring it up. Like I used to avoid mayo and miracle whip and hated them as a kid but it is an okay alternative to me in small doses in things like this now I guess. It tastes better than eating it plain when broke as fuck or just in general trying to not spend money anyway.

(When I run out of soy milk I will probably try making oat milk... maybe...)

[thateagleguy]

40 odd things about me, please don't play along, I enjoy these but really don't care much aside from my own take on these.

1. Do you put ketchup on hot dogs? No, what? People do that? I am quite open minded on hot dog garnishment but ... Ketchup? Go to is mustard, sweet relish, diced white onions. I also enjoy chili, onion, Frito, and shredded cheddar. And if I am feeling frisky BBQ sauce, and coleslaw.

2. Choice of soda? Diet Dr Pepper. Top soda existence is a Diet Dr Pepper with cherry from Sonic.

3. Do you put salt on watermelon? I don’t eat watermelon. Salt or no.

4. Can you swim? Yes

5. Hot dogs or burgers? Burgers, I have issues with how messy a food consumption is. Burgers are a cleaner experience. Plus, there is more variety. Ever try peanut butter, bacon, and BBQ on a burger?

7. Do you believe in ghosts? I don’t know, maybe.

8. What do you drink in the morning? Water, maybe a Gatorade

9. Can you do 100 push ups? Probably, what is my payout?

10. Favorite season: Autumn, I miss it too. My current zip code doesn't really have one. Sure temps go down and some leaves fall but it's just too hot overall for a proper autumn.

11. Your favorite animal? Mantis shrimp

12. Tattoos? Not yet

13. Do you wear glasses? Most of the time.

14. Do you have any phobias? I am weird about my hands. Damage of loss of use flips me out.

15. Do you have a nickname: Beau less than 20 people alive know or use it.

16. Ever been arrested? Nope

17. Do you remember your first kiss? Vividly. It came so late I married her.

18. Rain or Snow? Rain, snow can ruin plans easily. Rain is less likely to cause a reschedule or cancellation.

19. Can you change a tire? I can but I will cuss and complain the ENTIRE TIME.

20. Favorite flower? Orchids

21. Can you drive a stick? Barely, if we are leaving the parking lot someone else should drive.

22. Ever gone sky diving? Not yet I have not met weight requirements most of my adult life.

23. Kids? I know these exist. A few songs say they are the future.

24. Favorite color? Red

25. Favorite actor? J. K. Simmons

26. Can you whistle? Yes.

27. Where were you born? In a pink hospital.

28. Surgeries? 2 ... So far

29. Favorite smell? Baked goods or lavender

30. Shower or bath? Shower

31. Last Song You Heard? Crazy for you by Madonna

32. Broken bones? Arm when I was a kid (they mean it when they tell you not to tip your chair) I have some bone chips in my knuckles from high school football.

33. How many TV’s in your home? 2 put only 1 is plugged in

34. Worst pain? Physical? Surgical recovery. Emotional? *states into the distance

35. Do you like to sing? Yes, love to. Will do so without invitations or proper context of I feel at ease.

36. Are your parents still alive? Mom is

37. Do you like camping? Nah, I have tried. No thanks.

38. What do you binge watch? Home improvement shows and cooking shows. I could really use a Martha Stewart network but am looking forward to the Magnolia network.

39. Pumpkin or pecan pie? Pecan, I guess but pumpkin is fine and well. I prefer fruit filled pies. Cherry, apple, peach.

40. A photo of yourself... Why?

[giantchasm]

Can I make you find songs for all your faves? Jk, I know that's asking too much. How about doing Elise from Fire Emblem?

I think a pretty good Elise song is Brighter by Against The Current!

Sometimes we gotta risk it all to chase a dreamIt’s a dive in head first, all-or-nothing kind of thingEvery single time that we lay it on the lineIt’s a roller coaster ride for oneWhen you know it’s do or die and you’re running out of timeWe gotta give it all we’ve got

However, did you say ALL of my faves? You may have joked, as that is legitimately too much. BUT little did you know one of my favorite things to do is actually associate music with my interests! SO. I. I’m gonna do it. Under the cut I’m gonna list off a got damn song for every single one of my favorite characters… For my favorite fandoms. Admittedly ALL of them would be too much. But I’ll do it for Kagepro, Heathers, NITW, BMC, TWEWY, AND FMA (THIS IS LEGIT ONE OF MY SPECIAL INTERESTS AND I NEVER GET A CHANCE TO GET IT OUT. THANK U YOU HAVE SAVED MY LIFE.)

Sad Machine - Porter Robinson

I don’t know much about your life beyond these wallsThe fleeting sense of love within these God-forsaken hallsAnd I can hear it in his voice, in every callThis girl who’s slept a hundred years has something after allAnd though I know, since you’ve awakened her againShe depends on you, she depends on youI’ll go alone, and never speak of you againWe depend on you, we depend on you

True Love - PINK

At the same time, I wanna hug youI wanna wrap my hands around your neckYou’re an asshole but I love youAnd you make me so mad I ask myselfWhy I’m still here, or where could I goYou’re the only love I’ve ever knownBut I hate you, I really hate youSo much, I think it must beTrue love, true love

Plastic Flowers - The Front Bottoms

Listen, just because something burns brightDoesn’t mean it’s going to burn foreverSo all these people around you saying“You’ve got so much further to go!”“It’s going to get worse before it gets better”I don��t know… I don’t if that true

I’m Just A Kid - Simple Plan

I woke up, it was 7I waited ‘til 11Waited ‘til 11Just to figure out that no one would callI think I’ve got a lot of friends but I don’t hear from themWhat’s another night all alone?When you’re spending everyday on your ownAnd here it goesI’m just a kid and life is a nightmareI’m just a kid, I know that it’s not fairNobody cares, cause I’m alone and the world isHaving more fun than me tonight

Paper Dreams - Lucy Spraggan 

I’ll admit that I could look fitter,I might get jealous but I’ll never be a quitter,Stumble on your heels while i do up my shoelace,I might be a bitch but I’ll never be two faced.I’ll say what I want, and do what I do,I have my own friends and they hate you too,You have to give respect to get respect,Crawling back under your rock is your best bet.

Secrets - Mary Lambert

I can’t think straight, I’m so gaySometimes I cry a whole dayI care a lot, use an analog clockAnd never know when to stopAnd I’m passive, aggressiveI’m scared of the dark and the dentistI love my butt and won’t shut upAnd I never really grew up

Little Prince - AJJ

This juxtaposition of good and bad Remind me of the best and the worst dreams I’ve hadI’m either too happy or fucking sadAnd I can’t keep up with thatAnd my job, what a shame!Just a mountain of death filling up my brainI’m always tied to the tracks of the trainDesperately afraid of going insane

Misguided Ghosts - Paramore

I’m going away for a whileBut I’ll be backDon’t try and follow me‘Cause I’ll return as soon as possibleSee, I’m trying to find my placeBut it might not be here where I feel safeWe all learn to make mistakesAnd run from them, from themWith no directionWe’ll run from them, from themWith no conviction

Sum of Our Parts - Mary Lambert

I didn’t know I was a phoenixTill I learned how to speakEven with ashes in my mouth,I was still born to breatheI wonder are you like me?Were you left in the fire?Are you raising yourselfAbove your father’s empire?

Always Gold - Radical Face

Everything goes awayYeah everything goes awayBut I’m gonna be here until I’m nothingBut bones in the groundSo quiet downWe were opposites at birthI was steady as a hammerNo one worried ‘cause they knew just where I’d beAnd they said you were the crooked kindAnd that you’d never have no worthBut you were always gold to me

Human - Ellie Goulding

Human, I wonder why you’re a better make Than I could ever build or create,You know not love or hateI am so scared of what will kill me in the endFor I am not prepared,I hope I will get the chance…To be someone,To be human

Viva La Vida - Coldplay

I used to rule the worldSeas would rise when I gave the wordNow in the morning I sleep aloneSweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy’s eyesListened as the crowd would sing,“Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!”One minute I held the keyNext the walls were closed on meAnd I discovered that my castles standUpon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New

If it makes you less sad, I will die by your handI hope you find out what you wantI already know what I amAnd if it makes you less sad, we’ll start talking againAnd you can tell me how vile I already know that I amI’ll grow old and start acting my ageI’ll be a brand new day in a life that you hate

Anything I’m Not - Lenka

I will never beI will never be youNoI will always beI will always be meThat I knowBut, oh,Even thoughI’m happy being meI want to get awayFrom allThis harsh reality

(SHE’S HARD CAUSE SHE HAS NO CANON PERSONALITY. ME AND MY FRIENDS JUST KINDA PULLED ONE OUT OF OUR ASS ALL THOSE YEARS AGO WHEN TWEWY WAS OUR SI, BUT- WHEN WORST COMES TO WORST… OUR INTERPRETATION ALWAYS DID COME DOWN TO PINING LESBIANISM)

Jenny - Studio Killers

Jenny, darling, you’re my best friendBut there’s a few things that you don’t know ofWhy I borrow your lipstick so oftenI’m using your shirt as a pillow case

I wanna ruin our friendshipWe should be lovers insteadI don’t know how to say this‘Cause you’re really my dearest friend

Awkward Conversations - The Front Bottoms

Awkward situations followed by awkward hugsAnd these bullshit conversations take what little air is left inside myNothing but I’m writing like I’ve had too much to drinkLetting go of what we lostCome to terms with how you think of meAnd I love what you’ve done, you cut all tiesYou turned and runYou build me up, you take your fallYou led us straight into a wallAnd I’ll say, “I personally think it’s too cold to have the windows open,but you want to smoke your menthol cigarettes.”

(She gets three songs because I love her more than life itself)

Twelve Feet Deep - The Front Bottoms

Since when did “I wanna hear your voice” not become a good excuse?Calling you three in the morning, laugh at sleep that we’ll both loseMaybe college won’t work out, I can come live at your houseI’m supposed to be at class now but my roommate just passed outAnd I cannot get in my room, get all my books and what I needYou’re all I need but I am pretty sure your parents will never seeI’ll let it be, ‘cause it was never meant to beI’ll let it be.

You Said Okay - Flatsound

Sometimes when I look up I see starsThat cut through the sky and fade quickly into nothingness And I pray that you aren’t as fleeting Because when we’re lying in roads I get the same feeling That gravity will just turn off and I’ll fall endlessly Into something much larger than I am And I wonder if that’s what it feels like to die and If I’ll ever understand God in my lifespan Because I want to see God I want to know what god feels like 

A Small List of Things I Would Normally Hide

So I’ve been trying to let go of the things that torture me insideCongratulations, you’re cordially invitedTo a small list of things that I normally would hideLike high school: No comprehension of enough harmCodeine for numb hearts and patching up cut armsBut drinking cough syrup when you didn’t have a coughIs ironic, because in reality you’re sicker than you thoughtBut, like hearing new music, and being too scared to turn it upVirgin blood mostly told me to stop at the surface cutsAnd sometimes I wouldn’t eat more than a couple bitesAnd sometimes I’d go a week and not sleep more than a couple nightsAnd sometimes I’d get so wrapped up in the “couple life”When the “couple life” failed me the first couple times

Peach - The Front Bottoms (I guess the Nitwit gang is just a TFB crew. Also as a note this is abt him and Angus!

You are my peach, you are my plumYou are my earth, you are my sunI love your fingers, I love your toesThe back of your head, the tip of your noseAnd you are the reason I’m smiling when there is nothing to smile aboutYeah, you are the reason I’m smiling when there is nothing to smile aboutOne day you will find someone who will love you like you deserveBut tonight I’m the only one left, And I’m betting it’s a fact that you will never learn

Legit Tattoo Gun - The Front Bottoms (I HAD TO KEEP THE WEIRD NITW TFB THING GOING. Ignore the romance-y parts of this song. That’s not why I picked it.)

My head has thoughts What a ridiculous place to start She said, well, how about my chest Or, more specifically, my heartWhenever I’m alone or feeling lonely I pretend I can play the drums Inside my head and I am good I love these songs They love my songs

Putting The Dog To Sleep - The Antlers

Well my trust in youIs a dog with a broken legTendons too torn to begFor you to let me back inYou said I can’t prove to youYou’re not gonna die aloneBut trust me to take you homeTo clean up that blood all over your paws

Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Dagger

Put me in the hospital for nervesAnd then they had to commit meYou told them all I was crazy!They cut off my legs now I’m an amputee, God damn you!I’m not sick but I’m not wellAnd I’m so hot cause I’m in hellI’m not sick but I’m not wellAnd it’s a sin to live so well

Black Pear Tree - The Mountain Goats

I set the sapling in the holeStarted gently tamping down the dirtI saw the future in a dream last nightSomebody’s gonna get hurt, somebody’s gonna get hurtI hope it’s not meBut I suspect it’s going to have to be

Coming Back - Dean Ray

You can steal my mindTwist it for a while,But you can’t take my prideYou can watch me crack,Throw me way off track But I’ll keep coming backThe streets of Heaven never had a nameI found my own way thereI know I’m bound to lose my way againCause love and war is never fair

Soldier’s Daughter - Jhameel

Greetings good stranger I’ve seen the light as wellIt shines through my country and so i feel compelledTo hold my conscience to what the bible tellsAnd all I know is I don’t want to go to hellAnd peace and love and freedom are worth a bullet weltI learned this from my father who lived and who fellHe once took the oath before his flag and kneltHe died in the war and no remorse was felt

King of The World - Young Rising Sons

I know loss I’ve looked pain in the eyeI’ve seen the demons that live in the nightBut if I was kingIf I was king of the worldAll the talesThat have never been toldBuild up fires to keep away the coldWe’ll sing songsThat will never get oldWe’ll be here forever

(IM SORRY GLUTTONY MY BOY BUT I LEGITIMATELY CANNOT FIND A SONG FOR YOU IT’S BEEN LIKE 15 MINUTES)

(As a note this is for Selim Post-Promised-Day. Since that sort of scenario is when he becomes a fave. Hhhhhh “normal child” forced to remember he was a complete monster. MMM SLURP)

The Mute - Radical Face

And through them days I was a ghost atop my chairMy dad considered me a cross he had to bearAnd in my head I’d sing apologies and stareAs my mom would hang the clothes across the lineAnd she would try to keep the empty from her eyesSo, then one afternoon I dressed myself aloneI packed my pillowcase with everything I ownedAnd in my head I said goodbye, then I was goneAnd I set out on the heels of the unknownSo my folks could have a new life of their ownSo that maybe I could find someoneWho could hear the only words that I’d known

Your Heart Is A Muscle The Size of Your Fist - Ramshackle Glory

Like the time that our friend Chuck came over to our houseHe said he needed somebody to take care of his petsCause he was going out of townI asked him “Where?” and he said “New Mexico.”I asked if I could get a rideHe said: “No, you don’t want to follow meWhere it is I’m going.”He pulled out of the drive wayThat was the last time we saw himCause he drove straight to his parent’s cabinAnd put a bullet in his headYour heart is a muscle the size of your fistKeep on loving. Keep on fightingAnd hold on, and hold onHold on for your life

Terror(ism) - Jubyphonic

But where is it supposed to go?And where am I? I don’t even knowNever wondered muchBut now I’m stuck with all these funny feelingsTurned into the kind of person you had always hated? Well I wonder how it feelsTo hear the heavens laughing at you as they Point their fingers down at you and start to jeer“Why don’t you shut your ugly mouth and just go?”“Don’t wanna see you! Get outta my way!”All the bitter things…Start to hurt a little more and turn you grey

Hard Out Here - Lily Allen

I suppose I should tell you what this bitch is thinkingYou’ll find me in the studio and not in the kitchenI won’t be bragging ‘bout my cars or talking 'bout my chainsDon’t need to shake my ass for you 'cause I’ve got a brainIf I told you 'bout my sex life, you’d call me a slutWhen boys be talking ‘bout their bitches, no one’s making a fussThere’s a glass ceiling to break, uh-huh, there’s money to makeAnd now it’s time to speed it up 'cause I can’t move at this paceSometimes it’s hard to find the words to sayI’ll go ahead and say them anywayForget your balls and grow a pair of titsIt’s hard, it’s hard, it’s hard out here for a bitch

No Culture - Mother Mother

And I’m like a kid in a candy storeTaking all the taffy that I don’t ask for, yeahI’m like a bull in a china shopKnocking off a knock-off'Cause I got no cultureI got no culture of mineSo can we let sleeping dogs lie'Cause everyone believes me when I say it’s mineA little wool over the eyes'Cause everyone believes me

(He gets FIVE because I have LOTS of complicated feelings abt him and it takes more than one song to sum that up)

City - Hollywood Undead

The city looks so pretty, do you wanna burn it with me?'Til the skies bleeds ashes and the fucking skyline crashesThey catch us with matches to ignite the flameAnd all the hopes of a youth deemed fucking insaneThey say “Take the pill”“In God we trust”“Go and kill”“God loves us”As in life as in deathBreathing 'til there is no breathI will not die in the night but in the lightOf the sun with the ashes of this world in my lungsBut who am I to say let’s all just run awayGrab your saints and pray, we’re gonna burn this world today

Clean Freak - Jubyphonic

“All people are different” you say bluntly Look at “Needing” and “Wanting” same seven letters But what if you’re wrong and change it up to be “We’re human” Whatever works to shut my mouth?  Then why not write a book? Words and letters To define it, definite answers to questions How to live dealing with lots of things Like when a boy and a girl want “pure relations” All of the people crying from all the loneliness in their hearts All of the people lying that they will understand every part All of the people truly think that love is a thing we take No one sees that we haven’t seen at all!

Tommy Gun - Royal Republic

I guilty stand before youI know I misbehavedI never meant to hurt youI humbly beg forgivenessHope that my soul be savedBut if I had a final wish…I would only ask this…I want you to kill me with a tommy-gun babyWith a tommy-gun baby kill meIf you have to kill me use a tommy-gun baby

Cry For Judas - The Mountain Goats

Some things you do just to seeHow bad they’ll make you feelSometimes you try to freeze time'Til the slots are a blur of spinning wheelsBut I am just a broken machineAnd I do things that I don’t really meanLong black night, morning frostI’m still here, but all is lostSpeed up to the precipiceAnd then slam on the brakesSome people crash two or three timesAnd then learn from their mistakesBut we are the ones who don’t slow down at allAnd there’s nobody there to catch us when we fall(Sad and angry, can’t learn how to behaveStill won’t know how in the darkness of the grave)

Above The Clouds of Pompeii - Bear’s Den

(You were a God in my eyesAbove the clouds, above the skiesYou were a God in my eyesYou were a God)

You said “Stay in the car and waitThere’s just some things I have to say”Don’t you know I miss her, too!?I miss her just as much as you…

So my father and my sonAs you end what she’s begunYou’ll lie patient by her sideWith roses red come lilies white

I was too young to understandThe flowers slipping from your handsI was too young to understandI was too young to understand

I was too young to understandThe flowers sleeping in her handsI was too young to understandI was too young to understand

Don’t cryHold your head up highShe would want you toShe would want you to

Video Games - The Young Professionals 

It’s you, it’s you, it’s all for youEverything I doI tell you all the timeHeaven is a place on Earth with youTell me all the things you wanna doI heard that you like the bad girlsHoney, is that true?It’s better than I ever even knewThey say that the world was built for twoOnly worth living if somebody is loving youBaby now you do

Polaroid - Imagine Dragons

I'mma hold my cards closeI'mma wreck what I love mostI’m a first-class let-downI'mma a “shut up, sit down”I am a head caseI am the color of boomThat’s never arrivingAnd you are the pay raiseAlways a touch out of viewAnd I am the color of boom

Try - Colbie Caliat

Put your make-up onGet your nails doneCurl your hairRun the extra mileKeep it slim so they like you, do they like you?Get your sexy onDon’t be shy, girlTake it offThis is what you want, to belong, so they like youDo you like you?You don’t have to try so hardYou don’t have to, give it all awayYou just have to get up, get up, get up, get upYou don’t have to change a single thing

Live Your Life - Mika

You’ve got the whole world in your pocketBut you just don’t knowEverybody’s smilin’ at you everywhere you goIt’s like you’ve got that secretThat everybody else wants to knowAnywhere you are is just like home to youFrom the beaches in ManilaDown to KatmanduYeah you’ve got that secretThat everybody else wants to knowBut you won’t ever let it go ohEverybody wanna hold your handEverybody wanna shine that brightEverybody wanna say they canEverybody wanna live your lifeEverybody wanna talk like youOnly wanna do the things you do'Cause they always gonna turn out rightEverybody wanna live your life

[kbox-in-the-box]

Austin Kingsley: Star Prodigy in “The Silicon Supertrain!”

“Okay,” Mitzi Klingfeld smiled indulgently, propping her chin up on her palms, for what she knew would be an extended lecture, “make me understand what the big deal is about the Supertrain.”

“The Silicon Supertrain,” Austin Kingsley corrected her, even as he strained to maintain a non-critical tone in his voice, “named after the original Silicon Valley, in the Santa Clara Valley of California.”

“So, San Jose,” Mitzi recognized, before positioning her straw to take a discreet sip of her vanilla-flavored Prof. Pym Pop soda. “And you said it was, what, 1979?”

“When the train line was started in earnest, yes,” Austin nodded, as he used his small plastic spork to slice off a bite-sized piece of his Dutch apple pocket pie, before holding it up to Mitzi’s mouth. Mitzi beamed briefly at the awkward yet gentlemanly gesture, before chomping at the proffered pie, even as Austin continued on, without even appearing to notice her blushes. “It eventually grew to include stops at 33 cities in 26 states, but it all started with San Jose, California, and Charlton, Delaware.”

“Charlton … isn’t that where Bianca has her super-science school, or whatever?” Mitzi checked, brushing strands of her voluminous hair out of her face, as they were caught by the gentle desert breeze, while she and Austin sat on the flat warehouse roof of the Bookhouse, to share their fast food dinners (courtesy of one of King Tut’s Food Pyramids) under the summer-warmed night sky.

“Arkwright College of the Sciences,” Austin confirmed, “where, even before Bianca Yong successfully defended her doctoral thesis, the collective brain trust on campus was burning brightly enough to draw the notice of like minds on the opposite coastline, and vice versa.”

“So, what, they wanted a more tangible connection than just …” here, Mitzi wiggled her fingers in the air, mimicking the action of typing, “clacking away at their keyboards?”

“Each side of the country was generating a world’s fair worth of technological innovations on a weekly basis,” Austin chuckled as he shook his head. “It was becoming a bit much to sum up in electronic mail correspondence, even with the frequency of their exchanges.”

“And all nerds love trains,” Mitzi teased with an affectionate smirk.

“That is a stereotypical characterization that is only … mostly true,” Austin faltered in the midst of his objection, before waving his hands to refocus his thoughts, “and that’s not the point. Instead of simply transmitting these people’s words, or crude visual depictions of their plans, over phone lines, the Silicon Supertrain would essentially supply them with a rolling expo on rails. Rather than tasking developers with trekking to a succession of annual conventions, far from home, the Silicon Supertrain would bring the next generation of computers and accompanying consumer technology TO them!”

Mitzi couldn’t help but bite her lower lip with giddy glee. Moments like this reminded her why she loved Austin. She might not have otherwise shared his interest in what she initially considered a rather sterile subject, but his escalating enthusiasm as he spoke was infectious, and his passion made up her mind that she was going to ravish him later that night.

“You’re looking at me that way again,” Austin observed curiously, cocking his head to one side like a clockwork bird. His tone and facial expression were placid, not at all offended, and yet already skeptical of the denials he knew were forthcoming from her.

Mitzi blinked and cleared her throat. “What? No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” she sought to dismiss his concerns, before seizing upon an aspect of his explanation that had stood out to her. “Okay, so, we both know I’m no engineer, but I gotta think that a tricked-out, high-tech, high-speed supertrain is gonna cost a lot more than what even an Ivy League college and a bunch of boy wonders soldering circuit boards in their garages can scrape together between them.”

“Especially after the tech centers in those other cities I mentioned heard about the Silicon Supertrain during its brainstorming stage, and decided they wanted stops of their own along the way,” Austin dipped one of his tater tots (branded by King Tut’s as “Tater Tuts”) in ketchup, then used it to smear sticky red streaks in a rough loop across the wrapper of the soy burger he’d already eaten. “Incorporating them all meant creating three connected train routes — Boston to Dallas, Dallas to Seattle, and Seattle to Boston — with 10 more cities as stops in between on each route. Just to accommodate the size of the train, the stop that was planned for Charlton had to be placed in Dover instead.”

“Even still, none of those cities would have rolled the dice on funding a boondoggle like a supertrain for uber-nerds, especially back in the late Seventies,” Mitzi scoffed, before she squinted at the messy ketchup loop, with its extra-heavy dabs of ketchup at three of its corners, and quickly realized it was meant to be a map of the Silicon Supertrain’s three connected routes within the continental United States, with Boston, Dallas and Seattle represented by those extra-heavy dabs.

“Okay, Mister Kingsley,” Mitzi grinned, getting into the spirit of Austin’s playful lesson, “so, if this is Dallas,” she dipped a tater tot of her own into the southernmost dab, “and this is Seattle,” another dip, this time in the northwest dab, “then that makes this curve the Pacific coastline,” she smeared her tater tot along the ketchup streak, “but in between what I’m guessing are San Diego and Phoenix, the line goes all jagged,” she frowned speculatively, before chipping at the edges of her cherry red nail polish with her teeth out of subconscious habit.

“And what does that tell you, Mitzi Klingfeld?” Austin gazed at her adoringly, not only genuinely impressed with what she’d discerned so far, but eagerly anticipating how she would tie it all together.

“Well, I spent enough time growing up in Las Vegas to spot where it sits on a map, so that’s why the line zigs so far to the north, coming from Phoenix,” she picked up the uneaten tater tot she’d used as her pointer, “but if it was just heading west, from there to San Diego, the line would flow a lot smoother, so for it to zag back down south, as sharp as it does? That means somebody was awfully invested in getting Apex City on that route,” she leaned back and finally popped the tater tot into her mouth triumphantly. “And nobody else but your dad would have been both loaded and nerdy enough.”

“Technically, it was an investment by the Athenæum, but yes,” Austin couldn’t help but nit-pick, even as he tossed a tater tot into his own broadly beaming mouth. “My family basically bankrolled the project, and Pournelle Propulsion Systems was brought on board as a partner, to help design and build the train itself.”

“And I take it that the Silicon Supertrain has been bringing together overgrown whiz-kids like a Love Boat for Trekkies ever since,” Mitzi lifted her tall plastic cup of soda in a mock toast.

Austin twitched slightly, in what Mitzi had learned was his equivalent of a wince. “For the most part. But there’s been a problem. Very recently, some high-profile passengers on the Silicon Supertrain have been found dead — on board, in transit, NOT of natural causes. It’s been kept out of the press so far, but given the names involved, I don’t expect that to last.”

“So, the clock is already ticking,” Mitzi nodded, her tone growing muted to match Austin’s subdued, utilitarian exposition, before her lips curled into a rueful smirk. “And this is why our last meal of the weekend was drive-thru.”

“Because we have to wake up early tomorrow, and I didn’t want either of us to have to do cleanup duty after a fancy dinner. Sorry,” Austin ducked his head sheepishly.

Austin felt Mitzi kiss his cheek before he saw that she’d scooted her chair around next to his. “Don’t be,” she patted his cheek. “How many other gals who work in admin can say they get to solve bona fide murder mysteries on the job? It’ll be like we’re riding the Orient Express … only, you know, for dorks,” she snorted, before she narrowed her eyes mischievously. “So, what time do we have to be at the Crossroads Transit Center?”

Austin shrugged. “The Silicon Supertrain pulls out of the station promptly at 8:20 a.m. Why?”

Mitzi suddenly slung her legs around Austin’s hips and sat on his lap, facing him. “Because that gives me at least a few hours to eat you alive, Mister Kingsley,” she breathed, affecting her best attempt at a husky Brenda Vaccaro voice, before she tore open the front of his shirt, causing his buttons to spill onto the rooftop beneath them with an audibly tinny clatter, and began licking his downy, peach fuzz-covered chest.

“D-do you want me to — ah!” Austin gasped, trembling reflexively as Mitzi moved hungrily to devour his exposed neck. “Do you w-want me to haul out the guest bed for you again?”

“Oh, honey,” Mitzi cooed, resting her forehead against his, as she stared into his eyes, “it’s so cute that you think we’ll be using a bed this time.”

[thedivinefish]

TGIWednesday and a download for being more playful... like our pets!

TGIWednesday News

Worked/played with my doctor friend yesterday in Tampa and her sweet dog Jake.  He is now 13 but it’s been a rocky road (not the ice cream kind) to get him there - he tests for having liver stones as of right now.  The procedure to biopsy is thousands of dollars and then what? is what I would ask.  We've got to look at it from a point of view of what's kind for Jake and are we helping him have his best life? Realistically, this little Heinz 57 dachshund that doesn’t owe us a thing and has had a good and helpful, playful life, is it kind to put him through a costly biopsy/recovery? and again... for what?  We can use what we know to work on/for our pets in other ways to keep them as happy & healthy as we can. What actually came up for Jack as a folk kind of remedy was Essaic Tea. So research and read about that for yourself if you or someone you know has cancer.  Good stuff.  When I saw Jake yesterday he was running and playing and loving and sweet, giving me kisses and isn’t that awesome? More of that please!  Most of us could learn a lot from our animals, less brooding and foreboding and more play! Check out the discount we've got going on this month for our Pet & Animal healing audio MP3 & if you want to book a session for you & your pet - there's a special deal for that too!  Click here now.

FREE Weekly LIVE Healings and Messages

Every Tuesday at 9pm EST - JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW  Join me and my guests weekly on Tuesdays at 9pm ET/ 6pm PT Call in LIVE (713)-955-0594 It's your chance to get FREE intuitive messages on my weekly radio show. My guests are some of the best psychic readers & intuitive healers on the planet!  Tune in every Tuesday night LIVE or just catch the replay & YOU will receive changes & healings just by listening!  Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com  for a full listing & all replays! 

  To listen online, click the date links below. Listen here to Yesterday's Replay with Special Guest:  Laura Romeiro  Listen here April 16th Special Guest:  Dr. Michael L. Mosley  Listen here April 23rd - Special Guest: Tiffany White Sage Woman  Listen here April 30th Special Guest: Rev. Debbie Dienstbier   

Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com  for a full listing & all replays! 

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day. You will send me a list of the members of your immediate household, and yes even pets, and I will add them to my daily prayers. I will arise daily before you are even awake to start my prayers and also run my intelligent computer software 24/7 deleting the negative and increasing the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of outcomes for you and the family.  Each comes with a one-time email analysis print out via the intelligent healing software that I use on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes and I get emails of thanks each and every week!

                     Choose 7 days @$33              Choose 14 days @$66           Choose 30 days @$99

Live In-Person Appearances

DOWSERS UNLIMITED - THE VILLAGES If you're in the Central Florida area, join me for our annual pilgrimage to The Villages for the Dowsers Unlimited meeting. We will be demonstrating My Liquid Fish® Change made simple® LIVE on stage.  There will be limited opportunities to purchase private mini-sessions before and after the event.  Please see all info below thanks. Wednesday, April 17, 4 PM Dowsers Unlimited  Wildwood Tri-City American Legion Post 18 401 E Atlantic Highway State Road  44, Wildwood, Florida 34785  

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

We've made some changes to the Kodawari schedule and I am now there in person EVERY FRIDAY scheduling 15 and 30 minute appointments. Call Kodawari's front desk directly to schedule (813) 773-4017 and pay at the concierge desk... 15 minutes 33$ or 30 minutes 65$. UPCOMING SCHEDULE 10-2pm: Friday:  April 5th, 12th, 19th, 26th  

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

  Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!  

"I have found this to be a great modality.  I have for the first time got my husband and kids fishing daily.  I've learned Emotion Code, Body Code, dowsing, 3 levels of Yuen and some other bits and bobs I've played with.  I like how easy this is to take on the road.  I really appreciate your time and brilliance. Thank you." - D.T. / Kansas

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes "The Tackle Box" & "Spiritual Healing Techniques" ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

From the Fish Box

Question: "I am a LVN/LPN is my title approved for the certification training and what does that entail?  Is it approved and or recognized by hospitals?" -O.M.  Answer:  "Thanks O, at this time our course is not accredited for continuing education. It is super woo woo ethereal/new age....but it's fine if you would like to take the first level and then decide if you would like to take the next one. I tell folks if you can read at an 8th grade level, listen to the radio and watch TV - YOU can do it!  And complete it and learn it!" - Jimmy  

"Hi! just wanted you to know that after our session, I made 1 call to the state agency, and in about 5 minutes that situation was resolved! Thank You!" - P.M./ New Jersey  

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

APRIL 10th -  "Today I will exercise my right to choose. I will go for what I want, I will roll the dice. I will claim what belongs to me. I will make decisions on my own terms on my own time and in my own way. I will stand up for what I believe in."

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

TGIWednesday Download

~  BEING MORE PLAYFUL ~ Today I will be more playful like my pets and animal friends in the outdoors. I believe, think, know and feel that it’s possible to have more fun. I am ready, willing and able to play more and in place of harder, I will work smarter. I know when, where, how and why to enjoy, fantasize, laugh and be entertained at the simple things in life. I am asking for this frequency change, and download in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series

This month our audio MP3 for MyBeliefWorks™ for Facilitating Pet & Animal Healing is on sale for $39 (30% off). This audio MP3 will address whatever your challenge may be with your pet. Everything from digestive disorders, behavioral problems, misbehaving, separation anxiety, fear of car rides or the vet, ADD/ADHD, fear of missing out, aggression, biting, lashing out, to disease processes, or an upcoming operation or procedure. Or you can choose to get  Audio w/30min pet session for $111.  

"I wanted to take a moment to explain what this audio has done for my Peaches and our family. When we first adopted Peaches our kitty she was so timid, scared and sad. She had no love to give and seemed like a lost cause. Not wanting to give up on her we listened to the Pet Therapy Audio from Jimmy Mack. After listening twice it was like magic. Not only did she start to come around, she even accepted the man of the house and is a completely different cat. Thank you Jimmy Mack!" - J.G. / Florida

Buy Pet Healing MP3 - $39

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of ALL clearing MP3s available. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s) & click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading and channeling these over the years & they keep getting better.

Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

TGIFunny

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Jimmy Mack 727.678.0557​ EST | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2019 All Rights Reserved  

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Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[divinefishingtips]

TGIWednesday and a download for being more playful... like our pets!

TGIWednesday News

Worked/played with my doctor friend yesterday in Tampa and her sweet dog Jake.  He is now 13 but it’s been a rocky road (not the ice cream kind) to get him there - he tests for having liver stones as of right now.  The procedure to biopsy is thousands of dollars and then what? is what I would ask.  We've got to look at it from a point of view of what's kind for Jake and are we helping him have his best life? Realistically, this little Heinz 57 dachshund that doesn’t owe us a thing and has had a good and helpful, playful life, is it kind to put him through a costly biopsy/recovery? and again... for what?  We can use what we know to work on/for our pets in other ways to keep them as happy & healthy as we can. What actually came up for Jack as a folk kind of remedy was Essaic Tea. So research and read about that for yourself if you or someone you know has cancer.  Good stuff.  When I saw Jake yesterday he was running and playing and loving and sweet, giving me kisses and isn’t that awesome? More of that please!  Most of us could learn a lot from our animals, less brooding and foreboding and more play! Check out the discount we've got going on this month for our Pet & Animal healing audio MP3 & if you want to book a session for you & your pet - there's a special deal for that too!  Click here now.

FREE Weekly LIVE Healings and Messages

Every Tuesday at 9pm EST - JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW  Join me and my guests weekly on Tuesdays at 9pm ET/ 6pm PT Call in LIVE (713)-955-0594 It's your chance to get FREE intuitive messages on my weekly radio show. My guests are some of the best psychic readers & intuitive healers on the planet!  Tune in every Tuesday night LIVE or just catch the replay & YOU will receive changes & healings just by listening!  Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com  for a full listing & all replays! 

  To listen online, click the date links below. Listen here to Yesterday's Replay with Special Guest:  Laura Romeiro  Listen here April 16th Special Guest:  Dr. Michael L. Mosley  Listen here April 23rd - Special Guest: Tiffany White Sage Woman  Listen here April 30th Special Guest: Rev. Debbie Dienstbier   

Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com  for a full listing & all replays! 

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day. You will send me a list of the members of your immediate household, and yes even pets, and I will add them to my daily prayers. I will arise daily before you are even awake to start my prayers and also run my intelligent computer software 24/7 deleting the negative and increasing the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of outcomes for you and the family.  Each comes with a one-time email analysis print out via the intelligent healing software that I use on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes and I get emails of thanks each and every week!

                     Choose 7 days @$33              Choose 14 days @$66           Choose 30 days @$99

Live In-Person Appearances

DOWSERS UNLIMITED - THE VILLAGES If you're in the Central Florida area, join me for our annual pilgrimage to The Villages for the Dowsers Unlimited meeting. We will be demonstrating My Liquid Fish® Change made simple® LIVE on stage.  There will be limited opportunities to purchase private mini-sessions before and after the event.  Please see all info below thanks. Wednesday, April 17, 4 PM Dowsers Unlimited  Wildwood Tri-City American Legion Post 18 401 E Atlantic Highway State Road  44, Wildwood, Florida 34785  

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

We've made some changes to the Kodawari schedule and I am now there in person EVERY FRIDAY scheduling 15 and 30 minute appointments. Call Kodawari's front desk directly to schedule (813) 773-4017 and pay at the concierge desk... 15 minutes 33$ or 30 minutes 65$. UPCOMING SCHEDULE 10-2pm: Friday:  April 5th, 12th, 19th, 26th  

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

  Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!  

"I have found this to be a great modality.  I have for the first time got my husband and kids fishing daily.  I've learned Emotion Code, Body Code, dowsing, 3 levels of Yuen and some other bits and bobs I've played with.  I like how easy this is to take on the road.  I really appreciate your time and brilliance. Thank you." - D.T. / Kansas

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes "The Tackle Box" & "Spiritual Healing Techniques" ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

From the Fish Box

Question: "I am a LVN/LPN is my title approved for the certification training and what does that entail?  Is it approved and or recognized by hospitals?" -O.M.  Answer:  "Thanks O, at this time our course is not accredited for continuing education. It is super woo woo ethereal/new age....but it's fine if you would like to take the first level and then decide if you would like to take the next one. I tell folks if you can read at an 8th grade level, listen to the radio and watch TV - YOU can do it!  And complete it and learn it!" - Jimmy  

"Hi! just wanted you to know that after our session, I made 1 call to the state agency, and in about 5 minutes that situation was resolved! Thank You!" - P.M./ New Jersey  

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

APRIL 10th -  "Today I will exercise my right to choose. I will go for what I want, I will roll the dice. I will claim what belongs to me. I will make decisions on my own terms on my own time and in my own way. I will stand up for what I believe in."

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

TGIWednesday Download

~  BEING MORE PLAYFUL ~ Today I will be more playful like my pets and animal friends in the outdoors. I believe, think, know and feel that it’s possible to have more fun. I am ready, willing and able to play more and in place of harder, I will work smarter. I know when, where, how and why to enjoy, fantasize, laugh and be entertained at the simple things in life. I am asking for this frequency change, and download in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series

This month our audio MP3 for MyBeliefWorks™ for Facilitating Pet & Animal Healing is on sale for $39 (30% off). This audio MP3 will address whatever your challenge may be with your pet. Everything from digestive disorders, behavioral problems, misbehaving, separation anxiety, fear of car rides or the vet, ADD/ADHD, fear of missing out, aggression, biting, lashing out, to disease processes, or an upcoming operation or procedure. Or you can choose to get  Audio w/30min pet session for $111.  

"I wanted to take a moment to explain what this audio has done for my Peaches and our family. When we first adopted Peaches our kitty she was so timid, scared and sad. She had no love to give and seemed like a lost cause. Not wanting to give up on her we listened to the Pet Therapy Audio from Jimmy Mack. After listening twice it was like magic. Not only did she start to come around, she even accepted the man of the house and is a completely different cat. Thank you Jimmy Mack!" - J.G. / Florida

Buy Pet Healing MP3 - $39

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of ALL clearing MP3s available. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s) & click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading and channeling these over the years & they keep getting better.

Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

TGIFunny

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Jimmy Mack 727.678.0557​ EST | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2019 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger | Digital Marketing Specialist | SMBeConnected Solutions Digital Marketing Solutions & Support for Conscious Entrepreneurs www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[365dailyaffirmations]

TGIWednesday and a download for being more playful... like our pets!

TGIWednesday News

Worked/played with my doctor friend yesterday in Tampa and her sweet dog Jake.  He is now 13 but it’s been a rocky road (not the ice cream kind) to get him there - he tests for having liver stones as of right now.  The procedure to biopsy is thousands of dollars and then what? is what I would ask.  We've got to look at it from a point of view of what's kind for Jake and are we helping him have his best life? Realistically, this little Heinz 57 dachshund that doesn’t owe us a thing and has had a good and helpful, playful life, is it kind to put him through a costly biopsy/recovery? and again... for what?  We can use what we know to work on/for our pets in other ways to keep them as happy & healthy as we can. What actually came up for Jack as a folk kind of remedy was Essaic Tea. So research and read about that for yourself if you or someone you know has cancer.  Good stuff.  When I saw Jake yesterday he was running and playing and loving and sweet, giving me kisses and isn’t that awesome? More of that please!  Most of us could learn a lot from our animals, less brooding and foreboding and more play! Check out the discount we've got going on this month for our Pet & Animal healing audio MP3 & if you want to book a session for you & your pet - there's a special deal for that too!  Click here now.

FREE Weekly LIVE Healings and Messages

Every Tuesday at 9pm EST - JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW  Join me and my guests weekly on Tuesdays at 9pm ET/ 6pm PT Call in LIVE (713)-955-0594 It's your chance to get FREE intuitive messages on my weekly radio show. My guests are some of the best psychic readers & intuitive healers on the planet!  Tune in every Tuesday night LIVE or just catch the replay & YOU will receive changes & healings just by listening!  Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com  for a full listing & all replays! 

  To listen online, click the date links below. Listen here to Yesterday's Replay with Special Guest:  Laura Romeiro  Listen here April 16th Special Guest:  Dr. Michael L. Mosley  Listen here April 23rd - Special Guest: Tiffany White Sage Woman  Listen here April 30th Special Guest: Rev. Debbie Dienstbier   

Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com  for a full listing & all replays! 

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day. You will send me a list of the members of your immediate household, and yes even pets, and I will add them to my daily prayers. I will arise daily before you are even awake to start my prayers and also run my intelligent computer software 24/7 deleting the negative and increasing the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of outcomes for you and the family.  Each comes with a one-time email analysis print out via the intelligent healing software that I use on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes and I get emails of thanks each and every week!

                     Choose 7 days @$33              Choose 14 days @$66           Choose 30 days @$99

Live In-Person Appearances

DOWSERS UNLIMITED - THE VILLAGES If you're in the Central Florida area, join me for our annual pilgrimage to The Villages for the Dowsers Unlimited meeting. We will be demonstrating My Liquid Fish® Change made simple® LIVE on stage.  There will be limited opportunities to purchase private mini-sessions before and after the event.  Please see all info below thanks. Wednesday, April 17, 4 PM Dowsers Unlimited  Wildwood Tri-City American Legion Post 18 401 E Atlantic Highway State Road  44, Wildwood, Florida 34785  

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

We've made some changes to the Kodawari schedule and I am now there in person EVERY FRIDAY scheduling 15 and 30 minute appointments. Call Kodawari's front desk directly to schedule (813) 773-4017 and pay at the concierge desk... 15 minutes 33$ or 30 minutes 65$. UPCOMING SCHEDULE 10-2pm: Friday:  April 5th, 12th, 19th, 26th  

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

  Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!  

"I have found this to be a great modality.  I have for the first time got my husband and kids fishing daily.  I've learned Emotion Code, Body Code, dowsing, 3 levels of Yuen and some other bits and bobs I've played with.  I like how easy this is to take on the road.  I really appreciate your time and brilliance. Thank you." - D.T. / Kansas

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes "The Tackle Box" & "Spiritual Healing Techniques" ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

From the Fish Box

Question: "I am a LVN/LPN is my title approved for the certification training and what does that entail?  Is it approved and or recognized by hospitals?" -O.M.  Answer:  "Thanks O, at this time our course is not accredited for continuing education. It is super woo woo ethereal/new age....but it's fine if you would like to take the first level and then decide if you would like to take the next one. I tell folks if you can read at an 8th grade level, listen to the radio and watch TV - YOU can do it!  And complete it and learn it!" - Jimmy  

"Hi! just wanted you to know that after our session, I made 1 call to the state agency, and in about 5 minutes that situation was resolved! Thank You!" - P.M./ New Jersey  

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

APRIL 10th -  "Today I will exercise my right to choose. I will go for what I want, I will roll the dice. I will claim what belongs to me. I will make decisions on my own terms on my own time and in my own way. I will stand up for what I believe in."

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

TGIWednesday Download

~  BEING MORE PLAYFUL ~ Today I will be more playful like my pets and animal friends in the outdoors. I believe, think, know and feel that it’s possible to have more fun. I am ready, willing and able to play more and in place of harder, I will work smarter. I know when, where, how and why to enjoy, fantasize, laugh and be entertained at the simple things in life. I am asking for this frequency change, and download in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series

This month our audio MP3 for MyBeliefWorks™ for Facilitating Pet & Animal Healing is on sale for $39 (30% off). This audio MP3 will address whatever your challenge may be with your pet. Everything from digestive disorders, behavioral problems, misbehaving, separation anxiety, fear of car rides or the vet, ADD/ADHD, fear of missing out, aggression, biting, lashing out, to disease processes, or an upcoming operation or procedure. Or you can choose to get  Audio w/30min pet session for $111.  

"I wanted to take a moment to explain what this audio has done for my Peaches and our family. When we first adopted Peaches our kitty she was so timid, scared and sad. She had no love to give and seemed like a lost cause. Not wanting to give up on her we listened to the Pet Therapy Audio from Jimmy Mack. After listening twice it was like magic. Not only did she start to come around, she even accepted the man of the house and is a completely different cat. Thank you Jimmy Mack!" - J.G. / Florida

Buy Pet Healing MP3 - $39

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of ALL clearing MP3s available. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s) & click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading and channeling these over the years & they keep getting better.

Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack 727.678.0557​ EST | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2019 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger | Digital Marketing Specialist | SMBeConnected Solutions Digital Marketing Solutions & Support for Conscious Entrepreneurs www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[advancedthetapractitioner]

TGIWednesday and a download for being more playful... like our pets!

TGIWednesday News

Worked/played with my doctor friend yesterday in Tampa and her sweet dog Jake.  He is now 13 but it’s been a rocky road (not the ice cream kind) to get him there - he tests for having liver stones as of right now.  The procedure to biopsy is thousands of dollars and then what? is what I would ask.  We've got to look at it from a point of view of what's kind for Jake and are we helping him have his best life? Realistically, this little Heinz 57 dachshund that doesn’t owe us a thing and has had a good and helpful, playful life, is it kind to put him through a costly biopsy/recovery? and again... for what?  We can use what we know to work on/for our pets in other ways to keep them as happy & healthy as we can. What actually came up for Jack as a folk kind of remedy was Essaic Tea. So research and read about that for yourself if you or someone you know has cancer.  Good stuff.  When I saw Jake yesterday he was running and playing and loving and sweet, giving me kisses and isn’t that awesome? More of that please!  Most of us could learn a lot from our animals, less brooding and foreboding and more play! Check out the discount we've got going on this month for our Pet & Animal healing audio MP3 & if you want to book a session for you & your pet - there's a special deal for that too!  Click here now.

FREE Weekly LIVE Healings and Messages

Every Tuesday at 9pm EST - JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW  Join me and my guests weekly on Tuesdays at 9pm ET/ 6pm PT Call in LIVE (713)-955-0594 It's your chance to get FREE intuitive messages on my weekly radio show. My guests are some of the best psychic readers & intuitive healers on the planet!  Tune in every Tuesday night LIVE or just catch the replay & YOU will receive changes & healings just by listening!  Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com  for a full listing & all replays! 

  To listen online, click the date links below. Listen here to Yesterday's Replay with Special Guest:  Laura Romeiro  Listen here April 16th Special Guest:  Dr. Michael L. Mosley  Listen here April 23rd - Special Guest: Tiffany White Sage Woman  Listen here April 30th Special Guest: Rev. Debbie Dienstbier   

Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com  for a full listing & all replays! 

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day. You will send me a list of the members of your immediate household, and yes even pets, and I will add them to my daily prayers. I will arise daily before you are even awake to start my prayers and also run my intelligent computer software 24/7 deleting the negative and increasing the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of outcomes for you and the family.  Each comes with a one-time email analysis print out via the intelligent healing software that I use on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes and I get emails of thanks each and every week!

                     Choose 7 days @$33              Choose 14 days @$66           Choose 30 days @$99

Live In-Person Appearances

DOWSERS UNLIMITED - THE VILLAGES If you're in the Central Florida area, join me for our annual pilgrimage to The Villages for the Dowsers Unlimited meeting. We will be demonstrating My Liquid Fish® Change made simple® LIVE on stage.  There will be limited opportunities to purchase private mini-sessions before and after the event.  Please see all info below thanks. Wednesday, April 17, 4 PM Dowsers Unlimited  Wildwood Tri-City American Legion Post 18 401 E Atlantic Highway State Road  44, Wildwood, Florida 34785  

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

We've made some changes to the Kodawari schedule and I am now there in person EVERY FRIDAY scheduling 15 and 30 minute appointments. Call Kodawari's front desk directly to schedule (813) 773-4017 and pay at the concierge desk... 15 minutes 33$ or 30 minutes 65$. UPCOMING SCHEDULE 10-2pm: Friday:  April 5th, 12th, 19th, 26th  

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

  Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!  

"I have found this to be a great modality.  I have for the first time got my husband and kids fishing daily.  I've learned Emotion Code, Body Code, dowsing, 3 levels of Yuen and some other bits and bobs I've played with.  I like how easy this is to take on the road.  I really appreciate your time and brilliance. Thank you." - D.T. / Kansas

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes "The Tackle Box" & "Spiritual Healing Techniques" ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

From the Fish Box

Question: "I am a LVN/LPN is my title approved for the certification training and what does that entail?  Is it approved and or recognized by hospitals?" -O.M.  Answer:  "Thanks O, at this time our course is not accredited for continuing education. It is super woo woo ethereal/new age....but it's fine if you would like to take the first level and then decide if you would like to take the next one. I tell folks if you can read at an 8th grade level, listen to the radio and watch TV - YOU can do it!  And complete it and learn it!" - Jimmy  

"Hi! just wanted you to know that after our session, I made 1 call to the state agency, and in about 5 minutes that situation was resolved! Thank You!" - P.M./ New Jersey  

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

APRIL 10th -  "Today I will exercise my right to choose. I will go for what I want, I will roll the dice. I will claim what belongs to me. I will make decisions on my own terms on my own time and in my own way. I will stand up for what I believe in."

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

TGIWednesday Download

~  BEING MORE PLAYFUL ~ Today I will be more playful like my pets and animal friends in the outdoors. I believe, think, know and feel that it’s possible to have more fun. I am ready, willing and able to play more and in place of harder, I will work smarter. I know when, where, how and why to enjoy, fantasize, laugh and be entertained at the simple things in life. I am asking for this frequency change, and download in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series

This month our audio MP3 for MyBeliefWorks™ for Facilitating Pet & Animal Healing is on sale for $39 (30% off). This audio MP3 will address whatever your challenge may be with your pet. Everything from digestive disorders, behavioral problems, misbehaving, separation anxiety, fear of car rides or the vet, ADD/ADHD, fear of missing out, aggression, biting, lashing out, to disease processes, or an upcoming operation or procedure. Or you can choose to get  Audio w/30min pet session for $111.  

"I wanted to take a moment to explain what this audio has done for my Peaches and our family. When we first adopted Peaches our kitty she was so timid, scared and sad. She had no love to give and seemed like a lost cause. Not wanting to give up on her we listened to the Pet Therapy Audio from Jimmy Mack. After listening twice it was like magic. Not only did she start to come around, she even accepted the man of the house and is a completely different cat. Thank you Jimmy Mack!" - J.G. / Florida

Buy Pet Healing MP3 - $39

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of ALL clearing MP3s available. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s) & click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading and channeling these over the years & they keep getting better.

Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack 727.678.0557​ EST | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2019 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger | Digital Marketing Specialist | SMBeConnected Solutions Digital Marketing Solutions & Support for Conscious Entrepreneurs www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[gethealthy18-blog]

Lavender Peach Iced Tea (Herbal and Caffeine-Free)

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/lavender-peach-iced-tea-herbal-and-caffeine-free/

Lavender Peach Iced Tea (Herbal and Caffeine-Free)

Iced tea is the perfect drink to sip on during the hot summer months. This variation on peach iced tea is both good for you and refreshing. So let the kids loose in the backyard, make a pitcher of tea for yourself, and take a few minutes to relax on the patio!

Lavender: A Lovely Little Flower With a Million Uses

I can’t say enough good things about lavender. It is one of my favorite herbs and definitely a staple around here. It has been used for hundreds of years, and is still best known for its relaxing and soothing qualities.

Lavender plants are quite hardy and grow in many climates, as long as the soil is well drained. It’s a lovely choice for edging pathways into the house, so you can smell it as you walk by and when the windows are open.

The best part of lavender is that it’s so much more than just a pretty plant. I use it around the house in a million different ways, both as an essential oil and a dry herb.

For tips on how to grow and harvest lavender yourself (plus my running list of ways to use it), see this post.

Refreshing Lavender Peach Iced Tea

Most teas are made from the leaves of the tea bush. However, herbal teas are made from various parts of other herbs such as mint, raspberry leaf, and lavender.

Making iced tea from lavender certainly never occurred to me before, but when I came across this recipe from the Family Apothecary I knew I had to give it a try. With a few adjustments and some trial and error, I had a new favorite summer drink!

Like most herbal teas there are no tea leaves in this recipe so it does not contain caffeine and is kid-approved.

To make this recipe, simply pour brewed lavender flower “tea” over diced peaches and honey (mouth watering yet?) in a half-gallon glass jar. Let it steep for a time before adding more water. You can remove the peaches or leave them in for a more intensely peach-flavored tea (the peach chunks are kind of tasty to eat too — peachy with a hint of lavender).

This is a great recipe for using up peaches that are bruised and need to be used soon. Just cut off the not-so-pretty spots and use the rest!

Lavender Peach Iced Tea Recipe

Cook 20 mins

Inactive 1 hour

Total 1 hour, 20 mins

Author Katie Wells

Yield 8 cups

An herbal tea made with lavender and infused with peaches.

Ingredients

Instructions

In a large pan, bring 4 cups of water to a boil.

Add lavender flowers.

Steep for 5 minutes or until desired strength, then strain.

Dice the peaches and put them in the bottom of a half-gallon mason jar or pitcher.

Drizzle the honey on top of the peaches if using.

Pour strained lavender tea over the peaches. Muddle slightly.

Allow the mixture to cool to room temperature, about an hour.

Add the remaining 4 cups of water to the peaches and tea and refrigerate until cold.

Serve over ice and enjoy!

Notes

You can leave the peaches in the tea to make a more intensely peach-flavored tea or take them out before adding the remaining water. 

If the lavender is too strong for your taste, reduce the lavender flowers by 1 TBSP and add 1 TBSP chamomile tea in its place.

The nutritional info provided includes honey.

Courses Beverage

Cuisine None

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size 1 cup

Amount Per Serving

Calories 73

% Daily Value

Total Fat 0.1 g

0%

Sodium 8 mg

0%

Total Carbohydrates 19.6 g

7%

Dietary Fiber 0.3 g

1%

Sugars 19.2 g

Protein 0.3 g

1%

* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs.

Note: Since peaches are consistently on the Environmental Working Group’s Dirty Dozen list, I try to buy them organic. Wherever your peaches come from, it’s always a good idea to wash your produce before using it.

Other Refreshing Summer Drink Recipes

Are you an iced tea drinker? What is your favorite summertime tea combination?

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/369352/lavender-peach-iced-tea/