#when i turn fifty I wanna be just as stylish

[a-killer-obsession]

Some thoughts on the female crewmembers of the Kid Pirates? How do they interact with a big balls guy like Kid? 😅 I mean I see him threating women more disrespectful with a lot of ass grabbing 🤪

I honestly think Kid treats the ladies the exact same way he treats the men. In saying that: the kid pirates need a HR for sexual harassment from kid. He probably gets smacked a lot.

I do have a lot of personal headcanons though for what the girls are like! Behold:

☠️Kid Pirate Female Headcanons☠️

SFW under the cut 😊

Also including what I think their weapons would be!

Dive

I can never decide if she's a kid, or if she's just a short adult. The heels and fishnets make me lean towards adult, but then again her rolemodels for her fashion is the other kid pirates so she might not even realise how provocative those clothing items are. Either way, shes a fucking gremlin. Anger issues to boot but also so very happy go lucky, her mood can flip like a coin. We've seen how excited she gets for battle, I think she love love loves fighting. Shes a nuisance but everyone loves her. Has a massive stuffed animal collection (regardless of what her age really is)

Weapon: teeth

Hobbies: getting into mischief, swimming

House

Little old lady who is sick of everyone's shit. And by old I mean like, late fourties, early fifties perhaps. Ship doctor, but in a witch doctor sort of way. Big fan of dr kureha for sure! Has that same flippant, usually drunk on the job sort of personality. Everyone loves her though, shes the matriarch of the crew, and the commanders always ask her for advice. I headcanon she's related to Heat, perhaps his aunty. I like to think it was her that stitched up his Glasgow smile. She probably didn't want to be a pirate, but as the oldest she probably knew better than everyone what a shit show their home island was. Perhaps after all that gang violence maybe Heat is the only family she has left, so she naturally followed him out to sea.

Weapon: stays out of fights, but keeps a pistol on her just in case

Hobbies: collecting vintage medical journals, witchcraft

Hip

Most casual of the girls. Quiet, little bit stoic, bit of a tomboy, probably goes by she/they. Prefers to hang with the more masculine men on the crew, cos she'll gag if she has to listen to Quincy talk about makeup. I actually headcanon she's related to Killer, given they're both tan and blonde, and from the same island (probably, at least I headcanon all the kid pirates sailed out together), maybe cousins even. Strongest and the best fighter of the girls, everyone uses her like guard dog when they wanna go out. As the guard dog shes usually the one to smack Kid when he gets too handsy with one of the girls. He's a little scared of her tbh.

Weapons: the wiki says she apparently has two swords, i think dual weilding short blades would suit her

Hobbies: electric guitar, fishing (she likes the quiet time to think)

Hop

Bad bitch alert!! She's hot and she knows it! Bit of a stuck up bitch but she has her soft side. Gets along best with Wire. Considered the most stylish on the crew because somehow she makes even plain clothes look good, and everyone always wants her fashion and hair advice. I sort of imagine her to be like Nami, very obsessed with money and shopping, and a big time lesbian. Keeps her nails long and sharp as shit, and has a very impressive collection of knives. Her and Hip are very scary when they work together.

Weapon: wiki says she has a sword. I imagine her having a really delicate, slim sword, like a rapier

Hobbies: designing clothes, collecting vintage jewelry (she has very sticky fingers)

Quincy

Super ditsy tbh, really not suited to being a pirate but shes doing her best, its better than staying in the south blue anyway. Everyone makes fun of her cos she has a big obvious crush on kid, she's convinced shes gonna be queen of the pirates. Kid thinks its cute but shes not really his type, he doesnt mind her fawning though. Turns absolutely psychopathic if someone threatens her sweet kiddo! A real girl's girl, she loves anything cute and pink and fluffy, like just so very stereotypically girlypop

Weapon: usually kept away from fights, but like in Wavelengths I'd like to see her use that big chain of beads around her waist like a weapon

Hobbies: makeup and nails, fawning over kid and drawing bad fanart of her and him kissing (yes everyone thinks its concerning, but in an sweet way)

Emma

The quintessential 2010s tumblr scene girl. She reads A LOT of fantasy romance, draws fanart of her favourite book series, she would be a warrior cats girlie for sure. Bit of a scaredy cat and cries when she yells, but shes not afraid to pick up a sword if she has to if its to protect her friends. Really energetic personality though, she's easy to get along with, and she seems to know a little something about everything. Gets along best with Heat.

Weapon: rifle or similar, something long range and slim

Hobbies: reading & drawing

[rubyanjel]

Melissa McCarthy, InStyle Magazine April 2021

[seiin-translations]

2.43 S1 Chapter 2.2 - Dracula and Princess Briar Rose

2. DRACKY

Where’s Yorimichi’s moped

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Let’s go back a little. It happened last September after summer vacation, so was that already nine months ago? It was at a time when I lived in a much more stubborn, headstrong and serious way than I did now.

The real boundary line between middle school and high school was unmistakably the summer vacation of the first year of high school. That was what I was convinced of after looking over the girls in my class, who were slightly more refined and stylish compared to the first semester. Starting with the sudden increase in the number of girls who shortened their skirts—which had been in line with school rules during the first semester—they pierced their ears, hairstyles were no longer only unsophisticated bobs or long hair, but, I’m not sure, somehow the cut of their hair ends was stylish and their bangs fell diagonally across their face, and I kept hearing them talk about stuff like going to the pool with their boyfriends or their first times, whether I liked or not.

On the other hand, as for me and my teammate Ayano, we were immersed in club activities almost everyday during summer vacation, so we had nothing to do with those kinds of flighty summer experiences. Therefore, our topics after summer vacation were…

“By the way, did you go cheer for the middle school prefecturals?”

And other such dull subjects.

“Mm, no.”

“You didn’t go with the other kids from your middle school? For us, it’s like a duty for the previous graduates to bring refreshments for us.”

“We’re not that friendly with our advisor.”

I answered, while opening the cleaning locker with a mop in one hand. A step ahead, Ayano, who had finished cleaning the hallway, was carrying baggage for two people and waiting. I carried my school bag and enamel sports bag separately, but Ayano packed all of her stuff into her polka-dotted backpack.

“I only heard the results. They lost in the first round.”

My alma mater, the Monshiro Middle girls’ volleyball team, had advanced to the Hokushin’etsu Tournament for two years in a row since the year before last, but I heard that this year, they were miserably defeated in the first match. Well, I wouldn’t say that the strength of last year and the year before was because of me, but I was tooting my own horn on the inside.

“Ibara-chan, the boys at your school are strong this year.”

“Our boys? They aren’t any good, though? I mean, are there even enough members for an official game?”

“I don’t know, but they’re fourth this year.”

“Fourth!? You’re kidding, right!?”

I wildly threw the mop into the locker without thinking and a high-pitched sound pierced the steel walls. Ayano, ducked her head as she said with her cheeks puffing out, “I’m not lying! A girl from my middle school went to the boys’ game.” I was even more shocked that there were girls who turned out to the boys’ game venue.

“Apparently, they have an incredible setter. I heard he was a third-year, so he should be there last year, but do you know him? If there was such a great player, you would think that they could have done better last year too.”

“Wha…I really don’t know. Did we have someone like that?”

This year’s third years were a grade lower than me, but was there an excellent setter there? I had zero impressions of that. I was pretty sure there weren’t any outstandingly tall boys. I remembered that the Kuroba house’s Bon was a bit big in that year, but he wasn’t skilled at all.

“Well, boys can get good all of a sudden.”

Ayano murmured with an absentminded look on her face. I didn’t know why, but…I didn’t like that remark and said, “The cleaning’s done. Let’s go,” and snatched my things from Ayano’s hands a little too roughly.

“Ibara-chan, you’re heading to practice now?”

“Do your best!”

A pair of girls from the neighbouring class called out to me when I went out into the hallway. Both of them were around one-fifty centimeters tall and compact. Their club must be some cultural club.

“Thanks. Take care on your way home.”

After I patted their heads and passed them, they squealed with joy and jumped up and down with their hands joined together (A little bit, really, not even five centimeters off the floor).

“Ibara-chan, you’re naturally scattering pheromones again doing that… They say that the percentage of boy-girl couples in our grade is low because of you.”

Ayano said with a wry smile.

I had been on the taller side since elementary school, so I had always been treated as the “handsome” type of girl rather than “cute.” I was the ace of the volleyball team from my second to third year of middle school, and on February fourteenth, the bag I used for club activities would be filled with chocolates in cute wrapping. I had been wearing my hair short for a long time now. After a long holiday in my first year of middle school, it grew out a little, I was innocently told by the smallest and frailest kid in class at the time, “Long hair doesn’t suit Ibara-chan. You look more handsome when it’s shorter.” I cut my hair in my room that day with a pair of scissors. It was then that I realized clearly the character I was looking for, and since then I had come to discover my identity as a “cool and handsome” girl.

When I joined the Seiin girls’ volleyball team with a lot of fanfare as an ace candidate, I was 173 centimeters. It was a height comparable to the average boy. However, right now I still wasn’t even on the bench because there were so many second- and third-years.

What I wanted most right now was a bench member uniform, a height of 180 centimeters, legs for jumping even just a centimeter higher than other people, not pierced ears or a haircut with a bit of work on the ends. Breasts were a hindrance, so smaller ones were better. I honestly wanted to stop having periods because I didn’t want to have kids in the future.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

The two-story row house beside the fence of the first sports ground was the club room building for the sports clubs. The first floor was mainly for the clubs that used the outdoors, and the second floor was for the clubs that used the indoors. The girls’ volleyball team’s club room was up the outside stairs and second from the front.

In front of the club rooms for the baseball and soccer clubs that were next to each other on the first floor, the first-year boys who had been locked out by their senpais were sluggishly changing their clothes. It was a common sight, so we passed by without paying attention to it. Half naked or in just their boxers, the physiques of the first-years still weren’t that much different from those of middle school kids.

“I can see your undies!”

Ayano teased, peeking through the gaps in the steps as we climbed the outer stairs.

“Go away, pervert!”

Saying stuff like that, the boys wiggled around and laughed.

“We let you see them for free, so show us your panties back!”

“Sorry, but I’m wearing shorts.”

Ayano purposely picked up her uniform skirt between her fingers towards the idiot boys who gathered under the stairs while half-dressed in their pants. I left Ayano behind without following her lead.

There was some booing. “What, shorts are the devil!” “What the hell do you think a man’s romance is?” But I could also hear some of them whispering, “Did you see? Suemori’s not wearing shorts.” “They were white, white!”

I was so indignant about the stupid boys who were crowing about something so ridiculous that I stomped up the stairs like I was trying to step through the steel steps and drop kick those empty heads, if luck was on my side.

“Excuse me,” I said, forcefully opening the door to the room.

It was the girls’ volleyball team’s custom to have the first years change first after school and then go and set up, and then the second and third-years would change more slowly afterwards. So, right now, there would only be first-year girls changing in the room—at least, that was what I thought.

There was a foreign element. There was a single different creature standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by female team members.

“…Why is Kanno here?”

I said in a sharp voice. From behind, Ayano impulsively peeked inside.

“Oh, Dracky got abducted!” She cackled.

Kanno’s enamel bag was at his feet, as though it had been roughly thrown in. The female members had all changed into the summer-like practice clothes of T-shirts and shorts, but Kanno was still in his uniform. The Seiin High School uniforms had black blazers and reddish neckties for both boys and girls, but due to the season, we were of course wearing the summer uniforms, the boys wore shirts without jackets, and the girls just wore blouses. However, only Kanno was wearing a long-sleeved hoodie on top of his shirt, his hood worn deep over his eyes and the zipper zipped all the way up to his chin, and what’s more, his hands were completely tucked into his sleeves. It was a getup that screamed unseasonable.

“Okay, we captured Dracky!”

“I think it makes sense that since you’re practicing with girls’ volleyball, you should change in the girls’ club room.”

“If you don’t hurry up and change, our senpais will come.”

“Or maybe you wanna change with our senpais? You’re surprisingly gloomy.”

Surrounded by jeering voices, Kanno shook his head with his head still hanging down. “Then hurry up and change,” one of them said and reached her hand out for his hoodie before he said “Stop” in a voice that was as tiny as the sound of a mosquito buzzing. He tried to shake them off, his long sleeves cutting through the air. This feeble attempt at resistance was amusing everyone more and more. He desperately pulled back his hoodie that was being tugged in all directions and curled his back.

His face, peeking out from behind his hood, was morbidly pale, but only his lips were exceedingly red. Together with the thinly scattered freckles on his cheeks, his vaguely Western features gave him the appearance of a vampire who was afraid of sunlight, so his nickname was undeniably right on the mark.

Glaring at the racket with my eyes half-closed, I stepped in and loudly tossed my things into my locker on purpose.

“You’re cutting into your practice time, so why don’t you change as soon as possible? I’m not interested in watching you change, and I don’t care if I’m seen either. If the rest of the girls are done changing, why don’t you all get going?”

I said in a stern tone, not only to Kanno but also to the girls surrounding him, and the girls obeyed me with embarrassed faces while saying, “Yes—” and “We’re no match for Ibara.”

I turned towards my locker again and quickly changed. I undid my necktie and unbuttoned my blouse, exposing my back. “I’ll change too,” Ayano said brightly, then slipped under my armpit and shoved her backpack into her own locker.

Feeling eyes on me, I looked over my shoulder and saw Kanno jump before turning around and starting to change his clothes. He took off his hoodie that he had been preciously wearing like a turtle’s shell and squirmed out of his shirt. When he curled his back and pulled off his T-shirt from his head, I was surprised. Huh…wasn’t his body thicker than it had been before summer vacation? On his upper body, which was so weak and thin that it could be called a washboard, there was a thin but definite layer of muscle added, it looked like… He changed into a black long-sleeved T-shirt from his white short-sleeved T-shirt (so there’s ultimately not much difference from the hoodie…), undid his belt and took off his pants. I saw his boxers peeking out beneath the bottom of his T-shirt,

…Ah.

Snapping myself out of it, I turned my face back to my locker. I was staring at Kanno changing while saying I had no interest in him. Weirdly flustered, I pulled up my shorts beneath my skirt while…I should have worn a T-shirt…before that… I think I felt Kanno’s gaze on my back again when I was only wearing my sports bra. I casually looked sideways, but Kanno had his back turned and was about to put one foot into his long pants. He also seemed to have gained a hint of muscle on his thighs.

With no place to look, when I let my gaze wander, I caught sight of Ayano’s cleavage as she was humming and changing clothes. It had gotten a lot deeper in the short time we didn’t see each other, and the bra that encased her breasts that were growing heavy were now made of the same smooth and shining material like those worn by adult women, with larger cups. It appeared that Ayano had also stepped over that “boundary line” during summer vacation, leaving only me behind.

***

I should add some things about Kanno.

Kanno Akito was a member of the boys’ volleyball team who practiced with the girls’ team for half of the week. …I know that didn’t make sense, but there’s nothing I can do about that. Due to health reasons, he couldn’t exercise for a long time outdoors, so he was allowed the special treatment of joining the girls’ team practice in the gym. This measure had been in effect since the Monshiro Middle School volleyball team days, and I, who was from the same middle school, had been “half” teammates with Kanno since our first year of middle school.

For example, if Kanno was an easily flattered idiot boy who was quick to say dirty things, or if he was an incredibly masculine muscular man, the way he would have been treated in girls’ volleyball would probably different. But you could tell from a glance that the actual Kanno was weak with a gloomy and withdrawn personality, a boy who couldn’t stand up to being made fun of with a firm attitude, so he had been a suitable toy for the female members since middle school. I think he was less than 170 centimeters tall when we entered high school. He wasn’t big for a male volleyball player, but more than that, he was too thin.

Getting club chores forced on him was cute—in middle school, he was pretty much lynched by getting balls thrown at him by a group in the name of individual practice. In high school, in place of the disappearance of this kind of physical bullying, being made the target of sexual teasing like today had increased.

There was one baffling thing—even though he was being subjected to things where normally it wouldn’t strange if he quit, but rather than quitting, Kanno never missed a practice unless for good reason. He had school-approved circumstances, and I think it was okay to show up to the boys’ team practice as much as possible without having to seriously participate in the girls’ team practice, but…

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

“Um, Ibara-chan, thanks for earlier.”

Kanno said in a small voice during passing practice. Passing practice was basically done in groups of two, but when Kanno practiced with the girls’ team for the first time in our first year of middle school, I invited him to join me after I couldn’t stand watching him standing there by himself as a leftover. So even now, three years later, Kanno still happily joined the pair I was in. Ever since I became friends with Ayano in high school, it had always been me, Ayano, and Kanno as a three-person group.

“I don’t want your thanks. I just wanted to change my clothes, I wasn’t looking to stand up for you.”

I wasn’t one of the members who bullied Kanno, but I wasn’t necessarily nice to him. In fact, I’ve never gone out of my way to stand up for him. Even if I happened to be present at situations like before, I would leave it alone as long as it wasn’t blocking my way. And yet somehow, he had been strangely attached to me since middle school.

Thanks for always helping me, Ibara-chan. Ibara-chan, you’re so cool… I wanna be like Ibara-chan too… With his pale face dusted red and some kind of enraptured look in his eyes, he had said stuff like that dozens of times until now.

When I was in middle school, I wasn’t uncomfortable with being branded as “Ibara-chan.” I was called that on the team, so Kanno just naturally came to call me by the same way. However, what about a high school boy adding “-chan” to a girl’s first name…? As for me, when I suddenly realized how embarrassing it was to call him by “Akkun,” my old nickname for him, I changed how I called his name.

“Ibara-chan is Dracky’s knight, eh?”

I gave a side-eye glare at and silenced Ayano, who had been smirking and teasing me. On the edge of the opposite side of my vision, Kanno was nodding repeatedly, looking shy. Wasn’t it usually the other way around? Why was he being so happy and bashful when a girl acted as his knight…

The ball passed between the triangle we made. We passed it around with overhand passes and underhand passes for a few moments, and then spikes were added, and we rotated the setter, spiker, and receiver roles in order.

Every time Kanno spiked to me, the swing of his arm would stop for a moment before he hit the ball. There was a break like he was looking at my face before smacking the ball.

This late summer heat was relentless, and even worse, the windows had to be closed because the badminton club was in the next court over today. Even though the gym had turned into a steam bath, Kanno, who was the only one out of place of a long-sleeved T-shirt and long pants, looked unruffled. I felt hot and dizzy just looking at him.

Everyone had somehow been told that Kanno’s “health condition” was that he must not be exposed to sunlight or something like that. Not only outdoors, but he also persisted with dressing to cover his exposed skin as much as possible indoors as well, so Kanno’s bare skin was a rare occurrence which also became a thing. There was even a time when some girls got fired up about the “mission to take a picture of Dracky’s bare skin.”

“Hey, putting that aside, do you know about the middle school prefecturals thing? Did our boys really get fourth place?”

“Oh, yeah. I went to watch it. They really got fourth.”

“Who’s that incredible setter? Did we have a kid like that?”

“Oh, that’s the transfer student who came during the third semester. I’ve never met him so I don’t know though…sorry.”

While feeling a bit irritated at Kanno meaninglessly being sorry, I was convinced, thinking, So that’s how it is. If it was the third semester, then our grade would have retired a long time ago, so it was no wonder I didn’t know.

“Heh, he’s pretty amazing. It’d be nice if he came to us next year.”

Ayano carefreely cut in, and Kanno nodded with a “Yeah.” I frankly didn’t care about the assets and talents of our high school boys’ team, but I couldn’t help but be intrigued by that setter dragged that weak and puny Monshiro Middle boys’ team all the way to fourth place in the prefecture.

When Kanno was active, the Monshiro Middle boys’ team had a chronic lack of members, so they couldn’t participate in official games, putting unofficial competitions like inter-city friendly matches aside. Since the boys’ team wasn’t going to compete anyways, the girls from the girls’ team put him in the girls’ uniform and tried to drag him to the girls’ competition, but the advisor got angry as expected. But even if it had happened, the other team unexpectedly might not have found out. However, we probably wouldn’t have been allowed to participate even if our advisor hadn’t stopped us. The reason was plain and simple. Before the problem of gender, he was not up to the level of the regulars. Even in the girls’ team, Kanno was on the small side and he didn’t have the power.

This was a story from middle school. If the current Kanno dressed like a girl, he would definitely be found out immediately.

What about…his level then…?

My receive was deflected high up in the air, and Kanno jumped and knocked down the ball with one hand. It looked like his arms grew by about 1.5 times. I caught a glimpse of his navel from beneath the hem of his t-shirt that rose. The “rare bare skin.”

With a “Hoy,” Ayano sidestepped and went into cover. I couldn’t help but notice that her chest swayed with each action. Not just her chest, but she had also put on some meat on her upper arms and waist as well over the summer break. Ayano seemed to be the type to get fat easily, and when you took your eyes her for a second, she got rounder.

While Ayano was doing her best to chase after the ball with her short limbs, every single one of Kanno’s movements were relaxed and he seemed to be able to pull them off with ease. Since a while ago, I’ve been accumulating a noisy, scratchy something inside my body, something I didn’t even know what it was.

“Hey, hey, Ibara-chan, let’s put the middle school prefecturals aside. Dracky, I heard you were chosen as a starting member for Akitai?”

“What!?”

Even I was shocked at how loud my voice was reacting to the topic Ayano brought up. Kanno’s overhand serve slipped and he got a ball to his face. “Sorry!” Uselessly apologizing once again while pressing down his nose, he went to pick up the ball that had rolled away.

Akitai, a.k.a. the Autumn Tournament, was a prefectural tournament in early August, right in the middle of summer break even though it had “autumn” in its name. It was a one-off tournament, so the ticket to Nationals wasn’t hanging in the balance or anything, but it would be a big official summer game.

As mentioned before, the Monshiro Middle boy’s team was a tiny team that couldn’t participate in official matches properly. For Kanno, the days where he practiced with the girls’ team were probably more fulfilling than with his original boys’ team. Even without being in outside games, he acquired game experience from joining intra-team games (it goes without saying that the boys’ team didn’t even have enough people for intra-team games). In other words, Kanno was finally able to make his official game debut when he became a high school student.

I was going to congratulate him with a “Heh, congrats,” but,

“…Why didn’t you tell me?”

For some reason, what came out of my mouth was a biting and low voice.

“I’m, I’m sorry. There’s not a lot of people on the boys’ team…”

“Why are you making excuses for that?”

“I’m sorry…”

Kanno’s voice got smaller and smaller. He hung his head down so low that his forehead was touching the ball he was holding in front of his chest and peeked upwards to see my face. “Did, did I bring up an awkward topic?” Ayano’s face grew tight.

“Hey, I don’t want an apology. I’m asking you why you didn’t tell me. Don’t tell me you were trying to be considerate of me?”

The girls also had regular games in June and August, but I wasn’t even on the bench, much less a starting member. The girls’ team was a large group with thirty members, so it wasn’t surprising that the first-years couldn’t make the bench, since the second and third-years could fully cover the bench. However—at the August tournament, a first-year from another middle school was selected to be a bench member, which hurt my pride exceedingly. In middle school, I had participated in the Hokushin’etsu Tournament twice, so I was supposed to be the one who joined the team as the head of the rookies.

Beep, the manager senpai blew her whistle. Spiking practice was after passing practice. The team divided into two groups and scattered to both ends of the court.

“Oh, we have to move. Let’s go, Dracky, Ibara-chan.”

Ayano said, as if to mediate, then twined her arm around mine and pushed Kanno on the back. It grated on my nerves that Kanno blatantly let out a sigh of relief, but our senpai was glaring at our group who had stopped passing practice before the whistle blew, so we ran to the end of the line.

One by one, the first person in line passed the ball to the setter to have it set to them, and then ran in to spike it. After I ended one turn, I stared at Kanno’s form as he spiked after me while I returned to the back of the line again.

It wasn’t like he jumped very high, or that he had a lot of power. I just realized it again when I observed him. He wasn’t using his full power at all. The set was too low for Kanno, so he couldn’t swing his arm with all his strength. He could play at the boys’ height in an official game, so he should be able to jump even higher if he wanted to.

The height difference between the men’s and women’s nets was nineteen centimeters. While watching Ayano hit the ball next, I imagined another nineteen-centimeters of netting on top of the current net. Ayano’s butt, which had increased in mass than before summer vacation, swayed and dragged her body downwards. In my imagination, Ayano’s spike was completely blocked by the net.

Previous || Index || Next

[psycho-slytherin]

Rules

You need a name and a face to connect with your soulmate. What happens when you have both… and neither?

Pairing: Swimmer/Poet!Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Fluff I think?

Warnings: Swearing, poetry, wonderfully unsatisfying ending

WC: 2k

|mlist|

Based on a survey you guys took in which you chose a soulmate enemies-to-lovers au! Thanks to everyone that took the survey <3

[n/n = nickname]

REEEEEE! The blast of Coach Kim’s whistle sends adrenaline pumping through your veins and you dive off the edge of the pool, letting the cold water envelop you before you surface. Your legs are pressed together as you raise both arms simultaneously and let their force push you forward before kicking, kicking– arms, kick, kick, kick, arms, kick, kick, kick, arms, kick, kick, kick… you set a steady rhythm, sneaking a breath with every stroke, and your strong legs propel you to the end of the pool. Without missing a beat you duck, twist, and push off from the wall in the opposite direction, moving so quickly in the water you almost want to laugh.

Too soon, you reach the end of the pool once more, the slap of your hand on the cement signaling your coach to stop the timer.

“Fifty fly… nice! N/n, that’s 0.8 seconds off your best!”

“Yes!” you grin crazily, your heartbeat loud in your ears.

“Keep this up and you’ll be a shoe-in for regionals,” Coach Kim tells you. “Girls’ fly is gonna be one of the toughest races this season, but I think you’ve got the chops for it.”

“Thanks, Coach!” Even in the cold air of morning practice, your cheeks warm at the praise.

“Psh… girls’ fly is a fake competition,” Hobi, one of the guys on your team, says as he puts on his goggles. “Like whiffle ball. Or Ultimate Frisbee.”

“Put your money where your mouth is,” you fire back, hoisting yourself out of the pool. A bunch of the guys on your team are obnoxious, sure, but Hobi is a special breed of asshole.

“I’ll put something else where my mouth is,” he replies, winking.

You smile sweetly as you mime breaking his neck, and Hobi laughs. “Feisty today, aren’t you?”

“You know, Hobi, my favorite part of practice is when you’re under water.”

“Is that so?” “Mmhmm. ‘Cause I don’t have to listen to your voice, and I can entertain the prospect of you drowning.”

“Too bad for you– given that I’m a real swimmer, that’s not gonna happen anytime soon, is it?”

“I’m a real swimmer too, dickhead!”

“You haven’t proven that yet,” Hobi says with a smirk, and you open your mouth to fire back a scathing reply, but–

“Hobi! Chimmy! Yoongs! You’re up– anyone else want to try for the guys’ fifty free?”

You wrinkle your nose. You’re faster than Chimmy and Yoongs for sure, and to always separate by gender is a constant thorn in your side. You want to race against the best in the league, not just the best girls.

Bored, you watch the guys jump into the water, separated in three lanes. You hate ranking day, when just before a match Coach Kim races swimmers to decide who’s the best in each category. It only means you spend most of your time outside the pool, and at six in the morning such a setting is really not ideal.

“On my mark– if I see any of you grabbing the lane line, you’re out of the water for the rest of practice– Go!”

Immediately the three boys push off the wall– Hobi easily outpaces the other two, his strong scissor kicks splashing you as he passes.

“Hey!” That had better not have been intentional. You can see Hobi’s strong back muscles working as he turns his head to breathe.

Why do literally the worst people have the nicest bodies? You’re pretty sure that’s not fair. Asshole that he is, you can’t help but stare at Hobi when he swims backstroke– unlike his personality, his abs are nothing to laugh at.

“Well done, guys!” Coach Kim says enthusiastically when all three finish their lap. “Hobi, you sheared 0.3 seconds off your best– at this rate, you’re gonna be number one in the league. Yoongs, Chimmy, you’re brilliant endurance swimmers– work on your speed, okay? Keep it up.”

“Yes, Coach!”

“That’s ranking done for today,” Coach Kim says, glancing around. “The match is next week, so here’s what I’m thinking so far. Girls’ fifty fly, n/n. Boys’ fifty free, Hobi. Girls’ two hundred free–”

You tune him out as soon as you hear your nickname. Yes!

“Now to celebrate– one thousand meters’ cooldown. Your choice of stroke.”

The team collectively groans and you join in– a forty-lap cooldown? Well, you’ve had worse. You jump into the water and start moving to stay warm, choosing to swim breaststroke for the sake of going easy on your poor level of endurance. Even with the flurry of movement around you, you feel calm, collected, peaceful. The feeling of the water surrounding and caressing you is mesmerizing, and to your empty mind suddenly springs–

Awash in beauty, the tears of the Earth Fall upon the faraway stars in vain A weakened heart celebrates its weak birth The twins from days of old cry out for rain.

You grin underwater– with the goggles and swim cap, you surely look rather alien, but you don’t care. That’s a good stanza; you’ll have to remember it so you can share it with the others.

“N/n! N/n!” Yoongs calls out as you leave the girls’ locker room after practice. Coach Kim is standing nearby, talking to some parents.

“Hey– what’s up?”

“Do you…” Yoongs looks down, his pale cheeks reddening. “Do you wanna share names?”

Your eyes widen and your gaze darts to the coach. “We can’t– you know that. It’s against the rules. Coach doesn’t want distractions.”

“I-I know, but…”

You smile sadly. “I don’t think we’re soulmates, and the coach said no names. Sorry.”

“Yeah. I understand,” Yoongs says, eyes downcast. “Well, see you tomorrow.” “See ya.”

“Rejected,” you hear a sudden cackle behind you, and you jump.

“Jesus!”

“Aww, did I scare you?” Hobi asks with a fake pouty face.

“Yes– you’re wearing some sort of horrible mask.” You make a show of poking his cheek.

“Very funny. Was Yoongs asking to share names?”

“Why do you care?” you ask, affronted.

“Just the fact that he has to ask– what, you think it’s fine to require nicknames?”

“For sports?” You roll your eyes. “Of course. What if you were about to race and you found out your opponent was your soulmate?”

“But what if our soulmates were on our team?” Hobi steps closer. “What would you do if you found out I was your soulmate?”

“I’d dropkick you off the nearest diving board,” you inform him dryly. “Now leave me alone, cause I’m mighty tempted to make that a reality.”

“Fuck you too, n/n.”

You blow him your most sarcastic kiss before turning around, making sure to step on his foot on your way. You’re wearing flip-flops, so the only effect is your own increased satisfaction. You want to go home, write down that stanza, and talk to your friends.

In a world where soulmates need each others’ names and faces to connect, it’s stylish to walk around with a name tag in the hopes you might catch your soulmate’s eye. You’ve never adhered to that practice, instead retreating to the last anonymous corner of society– the Internet.

Plopping down, you open your laptop and log into the chat.

*its-shakespeare-bitch has joined Poetry isn’t a kink* @its-shakespeare-bitch: guys guyssss i thought of a good stanza *RhythM24 has joined Poetry isn’t a kink* @RhythM24: are you still in your iambic pentameter phase? @its-shakespeare-bitch: It’s a good phase :( *shininonasgard has joined Poetry isn’t a kink* *alittlealliteration has joined Poetry isn’t a kink* @shininonasgard: namjoon shush y/n’s sonnets are really good @its-shakespeare-bitch: tHAnK yOu hoseok @shininonasgard: <3 @alittlealliteration: ok but I logged on for poetry discourse not y/n and Hoseok flirting again @its-shakespeare-bitch: hahahaha I’ll kill you hahahaha *shininonasgard has invited you to Hoseok and y/n’s private chat* *its-shakespeare-bitch has joined Hoseok and y/n’s private chat* @shininonasguard: Taehyung’s just jealous ;) @its-shakespeare-bitch: of what, my wit and charm? @shininonasguard: yep @its-shakespeare-bitch: lol I was being sarcastic @shininonasguard: I wasn’t. @its-shakespeare-bitch: omg shut up before I actually fall in love with you @shininonasguard: don’t tempt me~ @its-shakespeare-bitch: gross, now I’m feeling emotions @shininonasguard: art thou not an artist? Use these emotions, y/n, channel your inner muse! @its-shakespeare-bitch: you just want me to write you a poem smh you’re a poet too yknow @shininonasguard: I like ur poems tho :)))))) @its-shakespeare-bitch: dork now I’m smiling how dare you @shininonasguard: Wish I could see your real smile You inhale sharply. You’ve been part of this chat, with the same nerds, for two years– despite having never met face to face, they’re your closest friends. You even revealed your whole names to each other– but faces? That’s different. As much as you’d like to meet them in real life, as much as you’d like to look Hoseok in the eye when you read him something you’ve written…

@its-shakespeare-bitch: I know @its-shakespeare-bitch: and I wish I could see u too, but we promised we’d keep this chat free of soulmate frenzy. Since we know each others’ names @shininonasguard: yeah ik

@shininonasguard: Doesn’t keep me from imagining u tho. I bet you’re really pretty

@its-shakespeare-bitch: as pretty as poe was positive

@shininonasguard: Shushhh I know you’re pretty. You have a pretty soul and pretty words and that’s all I need to call you pretty

@its-shakespeare-bitch: charmer

What you don’t say is that on reading his words, your cheeks go bright red and you start smiling like crazy. This guy just does things to you– his manner of speech is far from simplistic, and he has a beautiful way of writing his verses straight from the heart. Between the two of you, in fact, you’d call his soul the pretty one.

@shininonasguard: hey I gotta go help my mom ttyl?

@its-shakespeare-bitch: sure, mama’s boy~

@shininonasguard: I consider that a compliment

@its-shakespeare-bitch: I meant it as one <3

@shininonasguard: jfc you’re literally perfect I am so goddamn lucky

@its-shakespeare-bitch: lmao go help your mom, Hoseok. ttyl

@shininonasguard: bye, y/n (^3^)

*shininonasgard has left Hoseok and y/n’s private chat*

*its-shakespeare-bitch has left Hoseok and y/n’s private chat* You sit back and sigh, hiding a smile. He’s so cute, he’s so cute, he’s so cute. Why does he have to be so cute? It sucks cause it’s not like he’s your soulmate anyways, so there’s no point in falling for him, but he makes that hard because he’s so. Damn. Cute.

When you fall asleep that night, you’re fatigued but happy. You’re representing your team in your best category, you entered a poetry competition with a piece that you feel really good about, and Hoseok is so wonderful to talk to… yeah. Save for one particular dumbass on swim team, you’re feeling pretty damn good about life.

[smilingformoney]

America’s Most Eligible 3 Diamond Scene: Down Time with Derek

You: I’ve been waiting all day to get my hands on you too. Derek: I was hoping you’d say that. Derek closes the door to the massage room and locks it with a flourish. You: This place makes me feel like royalty. Derek: You are royalty, Stacey. Derek: Especially in that outfit. All I wanna do is serve your every whim. You: Flattery will get you everywhere. Derek: That’s what I was banking on. Derek wraps an arm around your waist, drawing you closer, before bringing your lips crashing into his. Your mouth slips open as his hands explore every inch of your shoulders… your back… lower… You: Wow. You weren’t kidding. Derek: What can I say? I’m a hands-on kind of guy. Do you want me to stop? You: Of course not, but…

You: You should… -Let me give you the grand tour.

Feeling extra sexy in your lingerie, you hook your fingers in the waistband of your bottoms teasingly and grind your hips, threatening to reveal the skin underneath. Derek’s eyes follow your every move. You: I know all the best spots. Derek: Then lead the way. You take his hands and use them to touch yourself, starting at the top of your head and pushing his fingers into your hair. With one hand, Derek grabs a fistful and uses it to tilt your head back, exposing your neck. His lips kiss and taste the saltiness of your skin there as his other hand continues to explore your body, caressing your chest, your stomach, your… You: Oh! A slight gasp escapes your lips as his rough fingers graze your sensitive skin. He presses a kiss just below your ear before whispering low and seductively. Derek: Looks like I found your favourite.

-Look before you touch.

Feeling extra sexy in your lingerie, you hook your fingers in the waistband of your bottoms teasingly and grind your hips, threatening to reveal the skin underneath. Derek’s eyes follow your every move. You: That means hand off until I say otherwise. Derek: This sounds like the best kind of torture. You: It is. And you’re gonna love every second of it. You close your eyes and run your hands over your frame, throwing your head back as you reintroduce yourself to the parts of your body through touch alone. You move your outfit aside, exposing flashes of covered skin. Derek: Stacey… You: I think you’ve waited long enough. He closes the gap between you with one powerful stride before claiming your mouth with his own. His fingers mirror the path yours took, and, as your heart rate quickens, you fight back a moan. When you speak, you can hear the desperation in your voice.

You: Derek…

You: Let’s… -Get comfortable.

You: The way this is headed, we’re in for a long night. We should pace ourselves. Derek: Everything in me is screaming full speed ahead, but I’ll do my best. Derek’s lips find the hollow of your neck as he backs you up toward one of the massage beds. The warmth of his hands on your bare skin sends your blood racing through your veins. As the two of you collapse into the comforter, he brushes his mouth across your chest, licking and nibbling as he settles in between your legs.

-Be a little adventurous!

You: We are at a luxury resort, on a private island… Derek: I’m way ahead of you. Derek presses your back against the door, and his fingers squeeze the curve of your backside before finding your thigh and hitching your leg up to rest on his hip. You brace yourself against the door, and, using it as leverage, wrap your other leg around him. He brings his lips to yours and carries you across the room, and places you down on one of the massage beds. You hook your ankles behind him and draw his hips closer to the fire burning between your legs.

Derek: I can’t get enough of you. You: Let’s hope you feel the same way in fifty years. He pulls back and repositions himself to look you directly in the eyes. Derek We’re getting married, Jamie. I’m gonna feel like this for the rest of my life. You: That’s an awfully long time. You sure? Derek: Absolutely. How cans I prove it to you?

You: You could… -Hold me.

You: I just want to cuddle with you. Is that okay? Derek: Spending the next fifty years with you in my arms sounds perfect to me. The two of you melt into the soft leather, your back to Derek’s chest, his arms holding you close. He breathes in the smell of your skin and plants a gentle kiss on your jawline. You sigh. You: In a few weeks, this’ll just be a part of our routine. Derek: With you in my life, I don’t think there’ll be anything routine about it ever again. You: Hopefully, that’s a good thing. Derek: Of course. Every day that I spend with you is better than the last, and I can’t wait to have this forever. You turn over to see the sincerity in Derek’s eyes before finding his hand and squeezing it with your own. He presses his forehead to yours, closes his eyes, and the two of you pass the rest of the afternoon intertwined, content to listen to the gentle rise and fall of each other’s breathing.

-Take me.

You: I want all of you, now and forever. Derek: I was hoping you’d say that. Derek’s lips find yours and lock them in a deep kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth as he pushes aside the fabric of your outfit. He brings his hips to meet yours without removing a single article of clothing. You sink your teeth into his shoulder to silence a moan. You: Shouldn’t we get undressed? Derek: No time. I need you now. The additional friction adds a layer of excitement as you two find your rhythm together, and soon, you buck your hips against his in desperation as a frantic need builds inside you. You: Yes!... Yes! Derek: Jamie… Together, you call out in delicious ecstasy as two become one in your conjoined bliss…

Later… Derek gazes up at the ceiling as he strokes your hair lovingly. Derek: This is a beautiful spa. You: Tell me about it. Memory foam massage beds, 2000 threat count sheets… If they have room service at the hot tub, I vote we should skip dinner and stay here. Derek: Not a bad idea, but I actually meant the décor. This spa alone is incredibly detailed. You: Well, you would know, Mr. ‘Artist’. I hope my shabby-chic décor stands a chance when we move in together. Derek: I’m sure we’ll come up with something that suits us both. What would you want our house to look like?

You: It should be… -A reflection of us. +50

You: Our first home together should be an introduction to who we are. Derek: It’s a good thing I saved my AME audition reel then.

-A family home. +50

Derek: Do you really think we’re ready to start a family of our own? You: Two people count as a family, and even if we’re not ready… No harm in practicing until we are.

-Glamorous! +50

You: We’re rich now! We should live like the rich and famous do. Not to mention anything less than the absolute lap of luxury would be a major step down from AME. Derek: We might even be able to swing it into a spinoff. America’s Most Stylish, here we come.

You: I just hope we like the final product. Derek: No matter where we end up or how we decorate, wherever you are is where I’ll call home. You: Charmer. Derek: Was that a complaint? You: Not at all. You press a gentle kiss to his lips and drink in the subtle scent of his skin, warm against yours. He nibbles on your bottom lip before pulling away with a smile. Derek: At this rate, we’ll never leave the spa, and as nice as room service at our place sounds, we should at least show our faces at dinner. You: Fine, but afterwards, I say we make a break for it and come right back here. Derek: Deal. The two of you climb off the massage bed and trade loving touches back and forth as you make your way back to your room to prepare for your elegant dinner on the island.

[theunnamedlizardrogue]

Chapter 3: A Change of Pace

The lizard wakes up. He feels exhausted, the events of last night got to him. How do people have parties like every night? It must be crazy functioning on such a low level of sleep. After passing out on a bedspread yesterday; it takes the lizard a pretty good while to actually get out of bed. The guild feels so homely that the lizard would rather sleep than face the bracing cold outside today. He’d lie that he forgot to take off his scarf last night when he fell asleep, but he’d be wearing it anyway. It’s almost part of his skin at this point.

He begins the day by brewing a cup of tea aaaaaand Snakes bursts through the door. “Up and at ‘em, Scales! We got a busy day ahead” Snakes claps his hands together. That was quick. He’s obviously eager for the day ahead. “Yeah yeah, just let me get up at least” The lizard rubs his eyes. There’s a glint in Snakes’ eye “Well, how wonderful of ya to brew a drink for your fellow rogues” “But I’m making it for mys-” And with that, Snakes drags the lizard out of the door, despite his loud exclamations. It was a shame, that was his favourite cup. Whoever’ll get the drink better be grateful.

“Got everything? A rope, a knapsack, all that?” The lizard toys with his scarf as he walks “yeah, but I might wanna bring along my bow for this one.” “Your bow?” Snakes looks curiously. “Some people never realise the true extent of improvisation. Or am I not the best actor hunter… whatever that was” He rubs his eyes again. Two jobs in five hours is always fun. Snakes lets out an exaggerated sigh “I can’t tell what you love more at this rate, that bow or your scarf” “The scarf. More improvisations!” the lizard taps his finger against his head. “Such as?” “When can a bow look stylish?” “Admit it, you’re just a sucker for fashion.” Both of them laugh.

After they finish their preparations, the pair arrive at the entrance. The lizard’s both looking forward and dreading to this moment. The door opens.

The town’s bustling, as usual. It’s amazing what a rogue can get away with in these walls. With this crowd, it’d be a wonderful time to do some wandering and thieving honest purchases! The rule is always play your favourites. It’s fine to steal from an arrogant merchant, but always be sure to support your local libraries! There’s an argument in the streets, over the price of some fruit. It isn’t exactly loud, the man complaining is actually just hiding his bartering. The lizard can hear a song come from the inn he left. Gossip about local happenings, and… the party last night? Snakes wasn’t kidding, word does spread fast.

As any good rogue would do, Snakes knows the way to their destination perfectly. He even knows which alleyways to take and what times the guard would be patrolling. It’s impressive just being around him. He can make it look like the two fit into a crowd with little-to-no effort at all. Snakes steps to one side, signalling they’ve arrived. The place the package is at is in a church? Huh, it’d be the most inconspicuous place if you’d do it correctly. The lizard almost opens the door to the church but snakes puts a hand in front of him. “Wrong place, what we’re aiming for is up there!” He points at the top of the church, in the middle of a church steeple. “You’re… kidding, right? Is this another test?” “All jobs are tests of your skill, if you look at it right!” The lizard sighs. Snakes’ just trying to make sure his skills improve, it’s a nice gesture. Though a nice gesture involving urban climbing at about eight in the morning. Snakes has already begun to climb the walls, looking for grips. The lizard takes a second to observe his surroundings. A rope’s already been set up at a near building to the spire. A present from whomever delivered the package, he guesses.  That’ll be interesting to remember. He follows his father’s footsteps, literally, as he begins to climb the wall.

At the top, the lizard is panting. Both of them are, really. It was quite a good distance to climb, even for a reptile and a feline. The package is right at their feet but both of them agree to take a second to breathe.

The lizard is first to get back up and picks up the package. As he turns to snakes, the package is gone before he knows it. Snakes, holding the package, pulls out a key and kneels down, unlocking a latch. He runs down the spiral and locks the hatch again from beneath. It takes a second for the lizard to register what happened, even in his sleep deprived state. “Wait… YOU’RE TELLING ME WE COULDA TAKEN THE STAIRS?” The lizard shouts There’s a laugh from below the lizard’s feet. The lizard smirks. Well, if that’s how he wants to play it.

As he hears the footsteps of his father below the floor, the lizard looks up and sees the rope at the top. He takes off his scarf and slings it around the rope. Here’s hoping it’s sturdy! He jumps, the world feels like it’s going faster than the speed of sound. The lizard howls in glee. As he comes to the end of the rope, he moves his feet in front and collides with the building. Falling gracefully to the ground, Snakes finally exits the church. He looks astonished. “I thought you woulda picked the lock or something” The leopard-man lets out a laugh. “Well you know what they say…” The lizard proudly shows his scarf “More improvis-“ Snakes runs past him. “Wha-… COME ON, I HAD A WITTY ONE-LINER.” The lizard wails as he follows suit.  

The chase breaks into the morning merchant crowd. People jump in surprise as the two are vaulting over tables. The lizard slides under a desk and already sees snakes at the opposite side of the road, waving smugly.   Godsdamn, the man’s fifty-four and yet it’s like trying to catch an arrow... Aha! An idea springs to mind. Unfortunately for snakes, he doesn’t notice he’s standing directly under a net filled with produce. The lizard pulls out a bow and knocks an arrow. He takes a deep breath while he runs and takes the shot. It strikes perfectly. He never knew why he was naturally gifted with a bow. Snakes is pelted by approximately fifteen watermelons, but he’s already running, covered in watermelon juice. He bursts through an open door, and more screams come from inside. The lizard runs after, shouting “Sorry”, as he disturbs three households. This goes on for almost a block. Finally, they come back to an open street. But… where’s snakes? It’s almost impossible to track a rogue who’s been doing his job straight for twenty years. Hmm, they ran onto a dirt road. Maybe if… Crap, he knows the lizard too well, he ran through a crowd, hiding his boot-prints amongst the others. Well, time to find something.

It takes three minutes. Nothing. Damn, Snakes caught him out this time. A man calls to the lizard. The lizard walks up to him. Guy looks like he’s in his early forties, experienced. Almost… sticks out in this crowd. There’s a subtle scar on his lip. Black haired, starting to grey. “Kid, are you looking for a catguy carrying a package?” He looks at the lizard’s clothing. They’re the same as snakes’ so it’d be easy to assume but… something about this guy makes the lizard feel off, he must obviously be the competition that snakes was talking about. The lizard slowly nods. “Ah, I saw him running through that building.” When he points at the door, suddenly Snakes’ tracks become crystal clear. “Thanks.” The lizard runs, but when he passes the door, he closes it and bolts it shut. That’ll keep that man busy. The package will be home in no time. Whilst the lizard may be back on track, there’s a wide distance between the two. The lizard sighs, he’s lost this one. Might as well just walk back and accept his defeat.

Everything feels quieter on the walk back to the guild. It could be intentional, would make sense not to lose the package in a crowd. The lizard can hear the distant chatter of two guards. Maybe from the run earlier. The rogues’ guild is coming up. Hopefully the stash of teabags haven’t been used up yet.

There’s a… yelp? A yelp is quieter than this. That’s a scream. A blood-curdling one. Wait. What? The lizard runs, what’s happened? What’s happening? This wasn’t intentional. It sounds like, but the, is it from falling? Falls happen all the time, I once cut myself from a gargoyle, I think that the, it’ll be okay, I can’t, what’s, is it bad, Is, what, I cannot

The lizard turns the corner. It’s the street opposite from the guild.

Snakes lies in a crumpled heap, neck thick with crimson. A man calls to the lizard. Guy looks like he’s in his early forties, experienced. Almost… sticks out. He’s holding a blood-soaked knife.

“Looks like you found him, Kid.”

Chapter 4: https://theunnamedlizardrogue.tumblr.com/post/172206117186/chapter-4-volta

[aoida-blue]

In Need (Jaydick fic)

Jason always helped. 

Not many people knew it. Or maybe, not maybe people trusted it. Perhaps they thought it was an intricate trap. it wouldn’t have been the first of Jason’s. But Dick did. Because it was a truth that ran bone deep in Jason. It was who he was.

Jason helped.

Once Dick had thought he’d grow out of it, hell Dick had been in that phase once, unable to help all those he swore to. Until Batman showed him better. Shown him maybe, or better yet, hold on. Taught him how to use his time efficiently, to save all he could. Even to say no when he couldn’t. When it was impossible. So with Dick it had only been a phase.

With Jason it was like a life motto. 

It was why Dick was about 90% sure that Jason wouldn’t close the door in his pathetic face.

Hopefully.

The door swung open, right before the third knock, and Dick was facing down Jason, with only a fluffy looking towel around his waist and not a scrap else. A faint shimmer of steam rolled off his skin and Jason’s face was already settling into outright-annoyed.

Looked like this would be the test of the help at least. 

“You’re not going suicide-by-cop through me.” Jason told him blandly, eyeing Dick up like he expected his current appearance to be a ruse, and maybe he did, it wouldn’t be entirely unusual considering their uneasy (at the best of times) relationship, “I happen to like not being the most wanted.”

“You’re still wanted.” Dick couldn’t help but point out, smile on autopilot to charm, couldn’t help the flirtatious way it came out.

Jason’s eyes were just as cool as he shrugged, Dick’s words were water washing right over him.

“A guy needs to be loved. “ Jason shifted slightly, hand holding the door like he was debating closing it right now and damned the consequences, “Wanna tell me what kind of mind-sucking horror happened to you?”

Dick shrugged back, mimicking his moves without so much as a thought. The movement hurt his back and Dick winced.

“Not really.” Dick returned, fighting the urge to rub at the particularly bad spot right on his ride side, “You wanna let me in?”

An eyebrow crept up, and Dick knew, knew even if he knew Jason could never say no, that he’d said just enough for Jason to be curious. He be asking himself the questions; first the what’s (what happened, what was that gunk, what about anyone else- injured/dead?), then the how’s (how had Dick ended up here), then the why’s (why was Dick here, why not the batcave, why was he alone).  He’d do it all without saying a damned thing cause it was what Jason did. Its what all the bats did.

“Not really.” Jason sighed, but he still stepped back, holding the door open.

Dick smiled again, this time of his own accord and began the painful limp inside, leg stiff enough he almost had to drag it behind him.

“You get that shit on my furniture you’re buying it.” Jason told him once, locking the door behind him and disappearing to the kitchen, “How likely is that this is fatal?”

He called back like he was asking about the weather. Dick smiled woodenly. Feel the love.  

The apartment was clean, functional, and surprisingly stylish. Dark wood, stainless steel trim, large flat screen, a few mirrors to see every angle in the room, but what Dick found most appealing was the dinner table, not the glass table itself, but the cushy looking dark chairs. He fell into one, letting it scrape across the ground announcing to the entire apartment where’d he chosen to collapse.

“Pretty sure I should be kicking after this, one way or another.” Dick called back, head hitting the table, eyes fluttering, “Nor contagious, if you’re worried.”

Jason was practical. He would have been in a hazmat suit the moment he saw Dick if he thought it was contagious. Meant he already given some thought to the what and come up reasonably close.

So really, stupid point to make there.

“I’m not.” Jason walked back in reaffirming Dick’s thought, first aid kit in his arm, complete with bucket and a tea towel, raised an eyebrow at Dick’s position, set the kit down, “Want to tell me what I’m dealing with?”

That was the million dollar question wasn’t it? Dick sighed, feeling worn and tired, and the gunk sticking all down his skin and suit wasn’t helping matters. It had already done its damage.

Even thinking about it made his body ache, not particularly with any soreness, but rather a bone deep weariness that edged and chipped at him. He wanted to close his eyes and sleep, just sleep.

“The slop,” Dick spoke slowly, feeling tiredness like a tide he had to fight, “is now inert. Previously it was a new form of biotech, sort of like nanites.”

As soon as he’d made the announcement, Jason’s hand was on his shoulder, pulling him back, upright in the chair. He swept the towel over a patch in the suit, right over Dick’s shoulder’s shoulder and a particularly nasty burn. Dick sucked a breath in through clenched teeth.

Jason was efficient. He wasn’t gentle. No reason to be.

“Right so,” Jason worked quickly finding places on Dick’s body that was easy to reach without getting him out of the chair, his eyes were downcast on their work, “that means they’ve already done their work. Again. Mind telling me what I’m dealing with?”

There was a bite in his words, impatience. Dick smiled again, still so much like the kid sometimes.

His smile slipped and Dick scrunched his eyes tight as Jason found the burns on his side. He was more tired than he thought… or… or… Dick thought he had more time.

“Hormone adjustment. Not permeant, but lasts about…” Dick trailed off, trying to think back to the villagers and their wild eyes, “a good two days. And when I say hormones, think Alfa male shtick, too much testosterone and pheromones, blood lust.”

A lot of blood lust. That town had been decimated; they’d been too late, too late by far. The residents that had survived, well, with the suicide and depression rates they’d halved again by the time they’d left. They could fight bad guys, they couldn’t fight two hundred people’s inner demons.

And Dick had been… yeah.

His arm was wrenched off the table, and Dick felt himself being bodily hauled up. His eyes snapped open, they’d been closed longer than he thought, and watched Jason grit his teeth. Not at the weight, they both lifted far more than the other weighed, but more likely at Dick. Always at Dick.

Dick would bet money he was the bane in Jason’s life. The annoying bane. Bruce may have been the thorn in his side or the annoying collar round Jason’s neck, but Dick was assuredly the bane.

It probably shouldn’t have made him as proud as it did.

“You came here.” Jason grit out, yeah, definitely annoyed, half dragging, half-guiding Dick to what he presumed was the bathroom, “for what? Me to lock you up? Tie you down? Gee, I’m glad you think of me for physical abuse but I thought there were safety measures for this.”

There were. At the Batcave. Where Tim, Bruce and Damian all probably were already getting decontaminated and locked in their special cells by Alfred.

His brothers would be expecting him. Bruce wouldn’t be.

“Will you help?” Dick didn’t want to talk about it, he felt so tired, and if he sounded more plaintive than not, screw it.

Jason manhandled him to the edge of the shower, reaching in yanking on the water and pushed Dick none to gently in. Surprisingly the water was instantly the perfect temperature, and Dick blinked dumbly until he noticed Jason was still only in his towel. Of course, he’d been in the shower when he arrived-

“What do you think?” Jason snapped back, eyes hot on him, making sure he didn’t slip, hands clenched hard on his shoulders.

Yeah, Jason knew he could never say no either. And knew Dick knew.

Dick’s head ached suddenly, a dull throbbing that circled around his eyes and made the world blur strangely. He was tired, couldn’t he just sleep. Jason would let him sleep wouldn’t he?

“No. Not here sunshine.” Jason was moving him again, bundling him in another soft towel and Dick wanted to know where he got them, they were nice and soft and dry and-, “We’re heading out of town if you’re going to be a basket case in a few hours.”

The world blurred and Dick got one look at Jason’s face, blue eyes wide, before everything went dark.

-=-=-

Then there were images, snippets of life in startling clarity in all his senses on overload.

Blood, thick on the ground, a splatter arching out like a hand outstretched and iron curling on his tongue.

Cold.  Desperate, needing grasping a hand in his as he tilted his head and screamed, throat raw. He screamed and screamed and-

Jason.

Jason’s face, creased with an emotion, hands either side of Dick’s head a warm presence speaking in a low hum.

Jason, yes, Jason.

More blood, richer on his mouth and-

Jason.

And.

Darkness.

-=-=-

To say Dick felt like crap when he woke up would be an understatement. A big, huge, fifty miles off target kind of understatement.

Dick’s eyes cracked open, lids sealed with crumbling sleep and squinted into the light. His head ached like an elephant had been let loose in his sleep, let loose and then allowed to rampage down his head to his neck, shoulders and-

Dick’s tongue twitched in his mouth, cotton stuffed but tasting iron.

He swiped his lips, feeling no cuts and felt his chest seize.

Jason.

Had Dick- Had he- Was the blood-

“By your calm freak out, I’d say you were back to being golden boy.” Jason’s voice came out crisp behind and Dick strained against the bonds, triple knots locking him just out of sight, trying to see-

As if he was feeling particularly merciful, Jason walked into view, coffee cup clasped in his hands. He looked tired, deep shadows hung under his eyes, deeper than the fresh face he’d presented when Dick turned up... before Dick.-

Jason’s eyes were bright, still as perceptive as ever, scanning Dick and watching him too closely.

“Are you-“ Dick tried, cutting himself off with horror.

Jason was wearing his jacket, long sleeve jacket and long pants hiding his limbs from sight. He had to be hot in that, Dick could feel the humidity of wherever they were cling to him and he was only wearing light sweats. Jason had to be boiling… But it was deliberate, of course it was.  It was obvious, when Dick saw a flash of a white bandage as Jason took another even sip, a strip of thick bandage right around his neck.

No.

Seeing his expression drain, Jason rolled his eyes. He put the cup in one hand and tucked down his jacket collar with the other, displaying the thick bandage right around his neck like it didn’t matter.

“Yeah so, I wasn’t as careful I should have been.” Jason shrugged, as if it had meant nothing that Dick had bitten him, still had Jason’s blood still lingering on his tongue, “More fool me.”

He’d bitten Jason. He’d come to him to avoid the others after- and he nearly had- if Dick hadn’t been so selfish, if he had just gone back to the cave- but then-

“Wow.” Jason said suddenly, eyeing Dick, “I can feel your angst from here.”

“How bad is it?” Dick croaked out.

The words slipped out before Dick could temper them, before he could make them sound less desperate.

Jason took another sip, expression giving away nothing.

“I don’t know why you’re so worried. It’s nothing more than what you’ve done to me deliberately.” Jason replied airily, eyes too dark.

The hit stung, stung bad. Hurt worse because it was true, but Jason had been fighting then, not helping and-

Dick glanced sharply down at his foot, unable to look at Jason’s expressionless face one moment longer.

“Which, speaking of,” Jason continued smoothly, deridingly, “Can I untie you, or do you feel the urge for another Jay-snack?”

Dick stared stubbornly down at his foot, at the thick rope bindings locking his ankles together. Anything but Jason’s face.

“Its gone.”

The thud of ceramic against wood echoed through the room, Jason’s mug knocking hard on the side table.

“Good.” Jason said chipper enough to be mocking, “Because then you can get the fuck out of here and angst about this somewhere else.”

Dick flinched, eyes sweeping back to Jason.

It hurt. It always hurt when Jason spoke like that. But it was designed to, words cold and unfeeling as possible. Always like he was proving something.

“Jason.” Dick started, unsure what he wanted to say.

Jason’s knife was out in a blink and Dick’s heart racketed in his chest. He was going to use it to cut the ropes, of course he was, but Dick’s mind raced to other possibilities, to places where Jason towered over him, still held captive, knife raised, other places where Jason cut across his neck the same way Bruce had to him, right the place where Dick bit him, a laughing smile across his lips-

The ropes uncoiled around his ankles and wrists and Jason stepped back, knife disappearing back into his holster. The look on his face was ugly.

“Yeah Dick. I did all of that to kill you now.” Jason sneered.

“I didn’t think you were going to kill me.” Dick argued back instinctively, feeling the lie sit hot against his tongue.

Jason’s face was etched in disbelief, one Dick, for once, couldn’t blame him for it.

“Yeah right.” He drawled, and he raised a thumb at the door, “Now leave.”

He could stay. Dick could try to weather out Jason, wait him out. Patience had never been Jason’s strong point, a lesson he’d never learnt as a Robin and not once since. Dick could stay and try to reason with him. Jason wasn’t as lost as he like to pretend he was. His morals weren’t gone, just skewed and this only proved it. Dick could-

The aggression started up in Jason’s pose, shifting from relaxed to fighting in a beat.

No.

Not today

“I’m still a bit muddled… that drug….” Dick tried, letting the words leave softly, “You can’t blame me.”

Jason only tensed further, like he could, like he would.

Dick edged awkwardly to the door, agony in human form, feeling Jason’s weighted gaze on him all the way. There was a set of keys by the door, his own motorcycle, and Dick felt the lump rise in his throat.

“Thank you.” Dick muttered, feeling smaller than he had for many years.

Jason snorted.

“Sort your mess out Dick,” Jason sniped back, as Dick placed a hand over the doorknob, “I won’t answer the door next time for your domestics.”

Even still, Dick knew that was a lie.

Jason always helped

[gossipnetwork-blog]

Paul Thomas Anderson Talks 'Phantom Thread' and How 'Punch-Drunk Love' Changed His Filmmaking Forever

New Post has been published on http://gossip.network/paul-thomas-anderson-talks-phantom-thread-and-how-punch-drunk-love-changed-his-filmmaking-forever/

Paul Thomas Anderson Talks 'Phantom Thread' and How 'Punch-Drunk Love' Changed His Filmmaking Forever

Writer-director Paul Thomas Anderson is a guy who doesn’t do much press, but that has nothing at all to do with his personality. When Fandango met Anderson for the first time earlier this month to chat about his newest film (and second collaboration with actor Daniel Day-Lewis), Phantom Thread (in theaters now), we found a delightful man eager to talk about the film, his process, his kids (he has four) and Star Wars (yes, even PTA was itching to know who Rey’s parents are).

Like There Will Be Blood, Phantom Thread finds Anderson and Day-Lewis once again tackling a story centered on a confident, self-centered man who knows what he wants, what he likes and won’t let anyone get in his way of achieving success and notoriety. That said, the characters are very different men; in Blood, Daniel Plainview is an agressive, over-the-top oil-obsessed loon, whereas Reynolds Woodcock in Phantom Thread is way more put-together and sophisticated. He’s both soft and firm and completely in control at all times, but that control begins to crumble when a new woman (Vicky Krieps) enters his life. So how do you break through to a guy who’s so well versed in shutting himself off from emotion?

Well… you find their weakness. And that’s where our conversation with Paul Thomas Anderson began…

  Fandango: So what first turned you on to this film? Was it the eccentric world of fifties fashion, or was it that love/hate relationship that we have with meeting someone to share our lives with?

Paul Thomas Anderson: That last bit, for sure. That idea of when you’re sick in bed and you look up and you … you need somebody, and … You see this either fear or joy in you, and there’s fear and joy in them as well. That thing that can happen … I have four small kids as well, too. Do you have children?

Fandango: Yeah, I have two.

PTA: So, you might have that feeling as well when they’re … You love them … but they’re running around and suddenly when they’re a little sick and they’re in bed, there’s fear. They’re going to be alright, but you’ll say, “Ah, it’s nice to have a break for a second!” Think where Munchausen syndrome comes from. I did. Maybe I’ll keep them sick a little while. That’s sick and perverted, but it’s just those moments of pause that we have … We’re all f**king rushing around like lunatics.

Fandango: This is true…

PTA: It’s hard to put your own brakes on. No matter who you are, even if you’re some obsessive fashion designer, or just anyone walking down the street .

Fandango: So then you thought this would be a great project to work on with Daniel Day-Lewis. Did he say, like, “Look, this is it. I’m gonna do my last one, what do you got? Bring me your best idea.” Did you know that he was going to retire from acting after this movie?

PTA: That would be great if it was like that. [laughs]. “I’m gonna do one more job, and then I’m out.”

Fandango: Exactly! One last job!

PTA: Just one more! If it had been that, then we would’ve all been… you know, every time a character says, “I’m gonna do one last job,” that’s when it all goes wrong, right? So thankfully, he didn’t say that. It was after the fact that he made his decision. The idea to work together was in both of us, and I think that I was really kind-of cheerleading, saying like, “Right, we have to … If we don’t … If we keep daydreaming about this, we’re going to daydream ourselves into nothing.

  More: Here’s Paul Thomas Anderson on working with Daniel Day-Lewis and the actor’s retirement.

  Fandango: Love the pink socks that his character wears. That stood out. Seemed a bit loud for him. What’s the story there?

PTA: They’re great, right? He would be so angry that you said they’re pink because those are the kinds of things… like they’re purple bishop socks and you get them from the ecclesiastical outfitters in Rome.

Fandango: Oh wow, really?

PTA: Yeah. It’s great. That’s just the kind of shit that Daniel can come up with that no one else is going to come up with. And that’s him. He’s got these to the side, done the research. These are the socks he has to wear if this guy would wear them.

Fandango: In the film his character has a sister and that’s it, but originally he had daughters, is that correct?

PTA: We did. We had a sub-plot that he had multiple children, and two daughters in particular. Two great actresses, Daisy Bevan and Charissa Shearer. They came and they did a scene at the dinner table where poor Alma was introduced to them, and they’re not very nice to her. She stands her ground, sticks up to them. It was a really good scene actually, we just didn’t have room for it in the film. It shaded the film in a different way that it didn’t want to go in.

Fandango: It’s fascinating to me because having seen the film, I’d love to know what kind of kids someone like that would raise.

PTA: Both of them were quite stylish… one of them, really mean… [laughs]… and one of them was an angel.

Fandango: You shot this film yourself, too. You’re billed as the “uncredited cinematographer” and that’s the first time you’ve done that on one of your movies. Why?

PTA: Well, it’s funny. We’ve … I wouldn’t even call myself the,”uncredited cinematographer,” because that’s like saying, “You’re the cinematographer.” It was collaboration — it really was, truly, this five-headed monster. Mine and Mike Bauman, Jeff Kunkel, Erik Brown, and Colin Anderson, which is the team we had closest to the camera, that group of guys. It’s funny, I live not far from Panovision — it’s five minutes away. And I love spending time there. I love working with them. I love the process of discovering the look of a film, all those kinds of things is so much fun to me. It’s one of my favorite parts of it, and it was a way to do it that was exciting and challenging, and it’s not that I would wanna do that every time. It was just a way to mix things up and make a challenge that seemed good. I’m really proud of us that we did it. I think there’s definitely moments where everybody picked everybody else up with confidence boosters, when the other person was like, “We can’t,” you know? It was a really nice collaboration in that way. Yeah.

Fandango: Of all your films, which would be the one you learned the most from, in terms of the filmmaker you wanted to be?

PTA: I felt like on Punch-Drunk Love it was a really nice moment. We had all worked together — almost all of us – on three films before that [and] that really turned out good. We learned loads on that. But by the time we got to that film, there was something that kind of clicked; of experimentation and independence and confidence. Guts, care, and hubris all just kind of came together in a nice way, allowing ourselves to discover things, or be insecure. It was a really nice moment, but it was also f**king challenging. The first couple weeks of that film was just trying to find a new way to work that was a little bit looser. Yeah, I look back really fondly on that time with a great feeling. A lot of lessons were learned on Punch-Drunk Love.

Fandango: If you could curate a playlist of movies for people to watch after they watch Phantom Thread — of films that maybe inspired characters, inspired a look or a scene or a shot, — what would be some of those movies?

PTA: Okay, I’ll try to go quick. Obviously there’s the standards. You’ve got Rebecca and you’ve got Vertigo.

Pictured: Lesley Manville in Phantom Thread and Judith Anderson in Rebecca (1940)

I Know Where I’m Going is a great film. The Passionate Friends is a great David Lean movie. There’s a great movie called Cría Cuervos, a Spanish film that I would highly recommend getting into. A lot of it takes place in a house. Gaslight is good; Dragonwyck is really interesting. All About Eve. Anything with Joan Fontaine. The Constant Nymph is a really interesting film, too. I’ll stop there!

  Phantom Thread is in theaters now. You can snag your tickets right here at Fandango.

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[wiremagazine]

LIGHTS, CAMERA, MUSIC - IT'S THE MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS

By DJ FR8-O | Photos courtesy of MTV/Getty

One of the biggest nights in music is almost here – the MTV Video Music Awards. Now in its 33rd year, the iconic show not only celebrates the best new music from across all genres, it's become legendary for some of the most shocking moments in TV history. Who will be annihilating the Twitterverse on Sunday, August 27? With Katy Perry tapped to "swish swish" the hosting duties this year, it could be anyone's guess. In the meantime, here are the 2017 VMA nominees and my winning picks. Bon Appétit!

BEST NEW ARTIST

Khalid Kodak Black SZA Young M.A Noah Cyrus

Julia Michaels If there was a poster child for emotional dysfunction, this chick would be it. We got our first taste of her last year as a featured vocalist on Kygo's "Carry Me." Since then, she's unleashed her debut EP Nervous System featuring her top 10 single (and my new anthem) "Issues." Besides having a unique voice, her songs have a way of connecting with your heart while sticking to your brain. Qualities that could snag her even more awards next year.

BEST COLLABORATION

Calvin Harris ft. Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry & Big Sean – "Feels" The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – "Closer" Charlie Puth ft. Selena Gomez – "We Don't Talk Anymore" D.R.A.M. ft. Lil Yachty – "Broccoli" Zayn & Taylor Swift – "I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)"

DJ Khaled ft. Rihanna & Bryson Tiller – "Wild Thoughts" Unlike the other categories, this was a no-brainer. Not that anything featuring Rihanna can do no wrong (well maybe), but as far as requests go, this one has by far been at the top of the list at every one of my sets. And with good reason. Not only do we get the rhythm and beats that made us fall in love with RiRi in the first place, we get a sweet nod to the legendary guitarist Santana.

BEST POP

Miley Cyrus – "Malibu" Fifth Harmony ft. Gucci Mane – "Down" Shawn Mendes – "Treat You Better" Ed Sheeran – "Shape Of You" Harry Styles – "Sign Of The Times"

Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley – "Chained To The Rhythm" Never mind how this song seems to swirl around in our heads hours after hearing it, but wouldn't want to take a spin on some of those gravity-defying rides in this video? With four nominations on deck and her VMA hosting debut, this could be a sign that Katy's rocky year is about to take a turn for the better.

BEST HIP HOP

Kendrick Lamar – "HUMBLE." Big Sean – "Bounce Back" D.R.A.M. ft. Lil Yachty – "Broccoli" Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – "Bad & Boujee" DJ Khaled ft. Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne – "I'm The One"

Chance the Rapper – "Same Drugs" There are so many reasons why his mix tape Coloring Book won a Grammy for "Best Rap Album" earlier this year, and this song is just one of them. Even the video takes a detour from the typical thong-clad hoochies twerking for their lives. Instead we get to see what Chance's guest appearance on The Muppet Show would have looked like had he been around in the late '70s. Not even Statler and Waldorf could deny the level of originality here.

BEST DANCE

Zedd and Alessia Cara – "Stay" Kygo and Selena Gomez – "It Ain't Me" Major Lazer ft. Justin Bieber and MØ – "Cold Water" Afrojack ft. Ty Dolla $ign – "Gone"

Calvin Harris – "My Way" It was his collaboration with Rihanna that first got our attention in 2011 and his underwear spread for Emporio Armani that sealed the deal in 2015. And although this particular track may not have circled our radar as much as its competition, the video definitely tops them all. The only thing that would've made it better is maybe a few scenes of Calvin in his Calvins.

BEST ROCK

Coldplay – "A Head Full Of Dreams" Twenty One Pilots – "Heavydirtysoul" Green Day – "Bang Bang" Foo Fighters – "Run"

Fall Out Boy – "Young And Menace" These guys have always been notorious for reshaping the sound of modern rock, and the same can be said for their clever music videos. Despite their woof-worthy good looks (which have only gotten better with age), they barely show their faces in this clip, leaving room for the strange yet all-too-familiar story to unfold beautifully, thanks to the brilliant directors Brendan Walter and Mel Soria.

BEST DIRECTION

Kendrick Lamar – "HUMBLE." (Directors: Dave Meyers, The Little Homies) Bruno Mars – "24K Magic" (Directors: Cameron Duddy, Bruno Mars) Alessia Cara – "Scars To Your Beautiful" (Director: Aaron A) The Weeknd – "Reminder" (Director: Glenn Michael)

Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley – "Chained To The Rhythm" (Director: Mathew Cullen) Anybody can point a camera at an artist and make them sing and dance, but creating a magical theme park in an alternate universe that's both retro and futuristic is no easy task. Director Mathew Cullen pulls this off flawlessly with eye-popping costumes, epic sets and mind-blowing visual effects that would make Walt Disney himself a little jealous.

BEST ART DIRECTION

Kendrick Lamar – "HUMBLE." (Production Designer: Spencer Graves) Bruno Mars – "24K Magic" (Production Designer: Alex Delgado) Katy Perry ft. Migos – "Bon Appetit" (Production Designer: Natalie Groce) The Weeknd – "Reminder" (Production Designers: Lamar C Taylor, Christo Anesti)

DJ Khaled ft. Rihanna & Bryson Tiller – "Wild Thoughts" (Production Designer: Damian Fyffe) Art may be in the eye of the beholder, but when this beholder watches this vid, he sees bright colors, sexy lighting, gorgeous locations, stylish costumes, steamy choreography and of course Rihanna – all elements that come together seamlessly to bring the song to life without the need for digital effects or gimmicks.  

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Kendrick Lamar – "HUMBLE." (Company: Timber/Lead: Jonah Hall) A Tribe Called Quest – "Dis Generation" (Company: Bemo/Lead: Brandon Hirzel) KYLE ft. Lil Yachty – "iSpy" (Company: Gloria FX/Leads: Max Colt & Tomash Kuzmytskyi) Harry Styles – "Sign Of The Times" (Company: ONE MORE/Lead: Cédric Nivoliez)

Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley – "Chained To The Rhythm" (Company: MIRADA) As I mentioned before: Flawless! From the flying roller coasters to the human catapults to the flaming cocktails, this vid is nothing but eye candy from start to finish. Maybe not the same flavor as Harry Styles floating across the sky, but still just as sweet.

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY

Kanye West – "Fade" (Choreographers: Teyana Taylor, Guapo, Jae Blaze, Derek 'Bentley' Watkins) Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj – "Side To Side" (Choreographers: Brian & Scott Nicholson) Kendrick Lamar – "HUMBLE." (Choreographer: Dave Meyers) Fifth Harmony ft. Gucci Mane – "Down" (Choreographer: Sean Bankhead)

Sia – "The Greatest" (Choreographer: Ryan Heffington) Sia's videos have always been a choreographer's dream. And not just because of the incredibly talented Maddie Zeigler, the young platinum-wigged dancer featured in five of them. The whimsical choreography has become as much a part of Sia's "package" as the songs they were made for. This clip was even more special because it honors the 49 victims of the Pulse nightclub tragedy that shocked the LGBTQ community and the entire world.

ARTIST OF THE YEAR

Kendrick Lamar Lorde Bruno Mars Ed Sheeran The Weeknd

Ariana Grande With such an eclectic group of artists, it seems unfair to decide who's art is better than the rest. However, besides her undeniably unparalleled vocal range, Ariana has shown us that she can also make us laugh, make us cry, make us dance, and move us to give to those in need through her charitable efforts. A great vocalist can change the music charts, but a great artist can change the world.  

VIDEO OF THE YEAR

DJ Khaled ft. Rihanna & Bryson Tiller – "Wild Thoughts" Kendrick Lamar – "HUMBLE." Bruno Mars – "24K Magic" The Weeknd – "Reminder"

Alessia Cara – "Scars To Your Beautiful" While the rest of the nominees flaunt the importance of sex, money and social status in their videos, Alessia is the only contender to use her moment to shine a spotlight on the value of loving yourself – flaws and all – with the help of everyday people just like you and me. In a time when we're being divided by our differences and shamed for being "less than perfect," it's refreshing to see an artist show support for something other than the almighty dollar.

This was originally published in Wire Magazine Issue 33.2017