#when her and xander first hooked up do you know how frustrated i was it wasnt with buffy. hungry for yuri

[kimodraw]

buffy fanart from the past few days,,,,catching up on the real hashtag classics first two are kind of mignola studies and the last ones are me enjoying oz and willow's puppy love :))

[chaos-weekly]

Didi couldn’t believe it. She always went to the big events with Xander, always. Unless Leah was involved, then she stayed far away. But Xander almost always went with Didi. They were best friends, it was what they did! Then Nollie went with Ainsley, and Xander would go home with someone else, Ainsley would leave once he got enough praise, and Nollie and Didi would get drunk on champagne and giggle their heads off in the limo back to their shared (over the top) apartment.

But no. That wasn’t going to happen anymore. Didi would be going home with JJ of all people. She’d checked with Jared, and JJ couldn’t just leave in the same car. She had to actually go back to his place so she’d be photographed leaving the next morning. Didi had argued for her own apartment so she could at least sleep in her own bed, but since Didi had a roommate, it wouldn’t be a solid enough sign that she was a taken woman.

Didi hated Jared.

“I can’t believe I’m being forced to go with him,” Didi muttered, eyes closed as Nollie finished her eyeliner.

“At least Jared isn’t forcing you guys to actually hook up?” Nollie knew the whole situation—Didi didn’t keep secrets from her.

“Only because that’s super illegal. I think he’s already toeing the line as is. It’s like Xander designed the contract!”

Nollie laughed. “If Xander designed the contract, he wouldn’t care about what was illegal.”

Okay. So she had a point. Xander did have a penchant for chaos and most things sexual.

A knock sounded at the door, making Didi groan. She glanced at her phone, and JJ was a full half hour early! Plus, she didn’t even give doorman permission to send him up. Really, the only people who got free access to their apartment were Xander and Ainsley. Everyone else needed buzzed in.

Jared clearly had changed that.

Stupid Jared.

“You’re gonna get the door. I’m still in my robe.” Nollie gestured to her silk bathrobe, if it could even be called that. Didi and JJ were going early to hit the white carpet at the start of the night. Nollie and Ainsley were attending later, so she didn’t have to be ready for another hour and a half. Lucky.

Didi glared (mostly playfully) at her friend and stood. Her make up was half done, and her hair was probably a teased mess for her updo that she would finish once Nollie finished the stupid eyeliner. Didi hated doing eyeliner, but she looked killer in it. That’s what best friends were for.

Didi opened the door with a real glare when she saw JJ. It grew angrier when she registered what he wore.

Guy Fieri flames turned into a suit jacket, and he had the ability to still make it look hot. She hated him. But she hated him even more for matching her fire theme.

Didi had dressed as Rosa, a woman—from a legend from the Philippines—who burned to death. So she wore a dress that looked like fire. It also, which she hated this the most, matched the colors of JJ’s outfit. Stupid fire had to go and be unnaturally bright, not all dark and gloomy like she liked, and JJ’s Guy Fieri getup pulled it off too well.

Yeah. She hated him.

“Well look at that. We match, sweet thang.” His southern twang accentuated his words when he called her “sweet thang.”

She hated him so much.

“I’m going to murder you,” Didi hissed.

JJ clicked his tongue. “Not in public, you aren’t.”

Scowling, she grabbed his wrist and pulled him into her and Nollie’s apartment.

“Is that the boyfriend?” Nollie called out, still in their large living room, but now she was lounging on the couch.

“Fake boyfriend,” Didi corrected, dropping JJ’s wrist like it had burned her. He wasn’t that hot.

But he was still really hot.

“Pleased to meet you. I’m Nollie,” her friend said, standing up and flashing that literally award winning grin. She’d gotten Chaos Weekly’s Sexiest Woman of the Year award for 2020.

“JJ.” Neither of them offered a hand to shake.

“I wish Xander were here,” Didi whined, going back to her chair as Nollie finished working on her make up.

“Talking like that doesn’t help your case, you know.”

Didi flipped JJ off. He chuckled.

“Our outfits match your temper.”

She flipped him off with the other hand, too. Nollie ruined the fun by swatting it away. “Don’t move unless you want to be blinded by eyeliner.”

“If I wanted that, I’d do it myself.”

The three of them settled into a strange silence. Didi tried to pour, but Nollie kept flicking her arm when her face moved. JJ seemed to be on his phone, or otherwise quiet. Nollie was focused on perfecting Didi’s make up.

Then an Arsenic song came on.

“You listen to my music?” JJ asked, sounding genuinely surprised. This time, when Didi scowled, her arm didn’t get injured.

“Nollie does. Not me. Can you skip?”

She rolled her eyes and followed Didi’s request, not commenting on the fact that this was Didi’s music playing from Didi’s phone. JJ didn’t have to know that, though, and Nollie was an angel.

“Okay, I’m done. Work your hair magic and you’ll be good to go.”

“Thank you, my queen,” Didi teased, earning a smile from Nollie. Ainsley’s costume was perfection—or so she’d heard. It was on strict lockdown. All Didi knew was she was dressing as Queen Titania.

“Always, peasant.”

She laughed as Nollie went back into her bedroom to change, and Didi settled to work on her hair. When her phone rang, she answered the call without checking the contact. It was Xander. He and Nollie were the only ones who actually got a ringtone and vibration for calls, since they were the only ones she wanted to ever talk to. Even her parents and Jared, her freaking agent, were sent to voicemail.

“I’m bored without you,” Didi greeted.

“Don’t you have a boyfriend now?” Xander chuckled.

“A fake one.”

“No need to be so upset. JJ is legit,” he insisted. Didi didn’t turn around to look at her date, but she suspected he was smirking. She had forgotten how close JJ and Xander were. They weren’t best friends, but definitely close friends.

“You’re not the one forced to go home with him,” she retorted. This only made a Xander laugh more.

“Didi, babe, take advantage of the situation.”

“I’m not sleeping with you,” JJ interrupted.

Didi turned around to scowl at him. She wished Xander could see her, too. So she FaceTimed him.

“You say that now, JJ, but I give it a week.”

JJ was scowling as much as Didi now. She could see it in her mirror.

“Shut up, Alexander, or I’ll start playing Defender,” Didi threatened. She didn’t like pulling out that song too often, even though it was really well done, because she knew how much frustration and pain it had caused him. But Leah’s song did make for a good threat when he was pissing her off.

Xavier stuck his tongue out at her. “I’m going, then, ‘cause you’re gonna play it anyways.”

“Better than Arsenic,” Didi countered, hanging up as Xander pointed out that she actually loved their music. JJ did not need to know that.

“If that’s your phone, doesn’t that mean you were the one playing my song?” he asked a few moments later. Narrowing her eyes, Didi pretended to be focused on finishing her updo.

“Nollie’s playlist.”

“Okay,” JJ replied, but he definitely didn’t believe her.

Yeah, she hated him.

Thankfully, neither of them said anything more until it was time to go. Didi was going to go public with a boyfriend for the first time, not just a hook up or fling, and the world was going to freak. It’d take some real acting skills for this one, but she had those. She could survive a night with JJ, and she could even survive a night sleeping in his guest room or on his couch or wherever he put her (it would not be his bed).

But that didn’t make her wish she was going alone any less. Just because she could didn’t mean she wanted to.

[warofshadowstheorder]

Chapter 28

Tadeas led Bledsoe away from the seating area toward the refreshments.  There was a bit of a line by the time they got there, but neither of them minded.  The two of them were enjoying walking hand in hand, content to be together.  Nearby, two other people that felt similarly about each other were making their way over.

“Heck of a show so far, eh?” Odin asked Tadeas as he and Alicia, with the boys in tow, came up next to them.

“Absolutely,” Tadeas answered, “but my money’s still on Olcán, Connor, or Dieter to win this thing.”

“That’s what the smart money’s on anyway,” Odin answered, “what do you think miss?”

Surprised by Odin’s efforts to be friendly, Bledsoe was taken aback at first.  After a moment to get over the surprise, she decided the best thing to do was to return the gesture.

“I’m not sure what to think,” Bledsoe answered, “I’ve never seen anything like this.  So far I have to say that Connor’s been the most impressive as an all-around fighter.  But it was obvious that he was toying with his opponent.  Dieter is by far the most physically imposing, and he definitely knows how to throw his weight around.  I doubt there’s anyone in the world that can stand up with him as far as pure strength goes.”

“What about Olcán?” Odin asked.  “You can never count out my Irish mate.”

“He has a good right hook,” Bledsoe said, “but that’s all I can say for him.”

“From his performance so far,” Odin conceded, “that would be all you can tell about him.  But trust me, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

“Can I ask you something?” Bledsoe asked earning a nod from Odin and a knowing glance from both Tadeas and Alicia as Bledsoe and Odin moved out of the line.

“How were you able to do what you did back at the pavilion…at the Saunders Assignment?”

“I have to admit,” Odin said, “I didn’t think you’d be up for talking about that this soon.”  He took a look at Bledsoe and could tell that she still wasn’t over the experience, but that she sincerely wanted to know more.  “What do you want to know?”

“I know how you were able to fight me so well,” Bledsoe began, “but how could you dodge bullets?”

“Let me just say first,” Odin began, “that you’re the only outsider to ever give me a run for me money.  And we’re trained to listen for the sound of a firing weapon, and to instantly,” Odin emphasized the last word with a snap of his fingers “get out of the path of the barrel.”

“But,” Bledsoe responded, “you had your back to me.  How did you avoid my fire?”

“You’re a government agent,” Odin responded, “it’s common knowledge here that all of you are trained to aim for center mass.”

“Fair enough,” Bledsoe said as they sat down at a nearby table, “so how did you escape?”

“My ‘lawyer’” Odin made quotation mark symbols with his fingers, “was a Watcher who slipped me a piece of paper with the name and location of the nearest Watcher with a cauldron.  After that, it was just a matter of doing what I’m trained to.”

After he finished, Odin pulled up the left sleeve of the shirt he was wearing to reveal one of the tenet marks that adorned his body.

“Do you know what these are?” he asked as Bledsoe nodded in reply.  “Well this one’s for escape and concealment.”

“But how did you escape?” Bledsoe asked with a hint of desperation.

“Come on now,” Odin said with confidence, “a good magician never reveals his tricks.”

Bledsoe let out a frustrated and amused sigh.  She couldn’t help it, Odin had a natural charm and charisma about him that made him almost impossible to hate.  Remembering how he was with his wife and children only amplified it.  She still liked Tadeas and knew that Odin was taken, but she was finding that everyone at the Monastery, once she got to know them, was a model person and the type that she wanted to surround herself with.

“Besides,” Odin continued bringing Bledsoe back to the present, “Olcán would have my head if he found out that I’d told anything about how we accomplish missions to an outsider.”

“Why does he hate outsiders so much?” Bledsoe asked with restrained frustration.

“Did you notice when he was fighting,” Odin asked, “that long jagged scar up his side?”  Bledsoe nodded.  “He and I were on a mission in America several years ago.  An outsider led us to a meat locker where he said a particularly nasty demonic beast we were tracking was hiding out.  We split up to cover both ways out, Olcán went with the outsider.”

“After he told Olcán where it was, Olcán thanked him and told him to stay back.  He went in, and the guy dug a meathook into his side just above his hip and dragged it up to his ribcage.”  Bledsoe couldn’t help but wince at that.

“If I’d gotten to him a minute after I did,” Odin continued, “he probably would have died.  He keeps that scar, he says, to remind him to always trust his Order brothers and never an outsider.  He’s held that grudge ever since.  He only reluctantly acknowledges any usefulness of Watchers.”

Bledsoe saw more and more evidence of what Tadeas meant about a melting pot culture on steroids.  She didn’t know if Dieter and Olcán got along or not, but from what she now knew she had them pegged as complete opposites with regard to their personalities.

“How did you disappear at the pavilion?” Bledsoe asked.  “After you shot Saunders, you and Olcán literally vanished, right before my eyes.  How did you do that?”

“Let’s just say,” Odin answered with a sly tone, “that we have some amazing resources at our disposal.”

“Please,” Bledsoe said with equal parts pleading and frustration, “I have to know how you did that.”

“I’m afraid I can’t say,” Odin answered truthfully, “there are some things about this place and what we do that are very closely guarded.  In your jargon you’d call it top secret, double classified.”

“Fair enough,” Bledsoe said accepting defeat.  “Could I ask you one more thing about that night with Saunders?”  Odin nodded.  “I noticed you using my earpiece, and Taylor told me that they were getting messages from me.  How did you pull that off?”

“Well,” Odin said, “it was my job to plan the assignment and make sure things went off without a hitch.  After I chose my perch and Watcher Andrews told me who’d be stationed there, he gave me some samples of your voice and a list of phrases that would get us through the assignment.”

“After that, I took the samples to a Watcher of ours who’s an audio engineer and he recorded himself saying them.  Then, he altered them so they were in your voice.  At the assignment, I just had Olcán play the appropriate phrases.”

“That reminds me,” Bledsoe added, “something I’ve been wondering since I saw Saunders’ body at the coroner’s.  How did you do that to his head?”

“Has anyone told you about us Knights making our own weapons?” Odin asked.

“Tadeas mentioned something about that,” Bledsoe replied thinking back, “he was talking about Olcán teaching a recruit and mentioned that before anyone can become a Knight they make a weapon of their own and present it to the Apostle and some Shepherds.”

“He didn’t go into any more detail than that?” Odin asked leading to Bledsoe shaking her head in response.

“Well,” Odin began, “we’re encouraged to create a weapon that plays to our strengths.  I’m a marksman, but I’m already set on a particular kind of rifle.  So for my weapon I made a special kind of ammunition.  I call them Surefires.”

“They mushroom like hollow-points, and the shell is coated with liquid Decaelo.  When the round hits the target it disperses the metal into the bloodstream.  The result just inflicts a typical bullet wound to a normal person.  But for a Demon, or someone with one inside them, it causes a chain reaction that’ll make the bugger’s head explode.”

Bledsoe realized now what the shards from the round that no one could identify were.  And she couldn’t help but be impressed at what Odin described.

“What did Tadeas make for himself?” Bledsoe asked intrigued.

“He made a snub nose .38 caliber revolver.” Odin answered.  “Tadeas’s not much for combat.  His specialties are reconnaissance, detection, and strategy.  But his weapon suits his purposes.  It’s portable and very durable so he can carry it anywhere.  He also built several unique holsters for it.  He even made one that he straps to his wrist and extends the gun out into his hand with the push of a button.  Other than that, there’s nothing really unique about the weapon itself except for the engravings he put on it.”

“Odin darling,” Alicia’s voice broke up the conversation as the three Bruce boys and their mother approached Bledsoe and their Dad.  “It’s almost time for the next round.”  Alicia smiled seeing Bledsoe talking with her husband, she figured that Bledsoe was getting over the prejudices she’d rightly had toward Odin and the Order.

“Forgive me,” Alicia said with a smile to Bledsoe, “but I never introduced you to the boys.  These are Xander, Angus, and Malcolm Bruce.  What do you say to the nice lady sweethearts?”

The boys gave a collective hello that made Bledsoe’s heart melt inside at how cute and innocent they were.  They reminded her of her own nieces and nephews, and she marveled at how much like typical children they seemed.

“Hello,” Bledsoe said kindly as she knelt down to be at the boys’ level, “my name’s Alexis Bledsoe.  Now, which one of you is Xander?”

“Me,” Xander said bashfully as a smile came to his face.

“Well,” Bledsoe said extending her hand and taking his, “I’m very pleased to meet you.  And are you,” Bledsoe said moving to the next young Bruce, “Angus or Malcolm?”

“I’m Angus,” he said shaking Bledsoe’s hand and blushing slightly.

“It’s great to meet you too,” Bledsoe said in the same voice she used to talk to her young nieces and nephews.  Then, she moved on to Malcolm who was also smiling and giggling to himself.

“And that would make you Malcolm,” Bledsoe said taking his hand.  “You know,” she said in a slightly softer tone, “I also have big brothers, I can relate to your situation.”

“Are you an angel?” Malcolm asked surprising Bledsoe and the others present.

“What?” Bledsoe asked slightly embarrassed.

“Mom says that Angels are always with us, and that they’re very beautiful but only come around when we aren’t expecting them.  So we always have to be on the lookout.”

“Well,” Bledsoe answered, “I’m very flattered that you asked.  But I’m no angel.  But I can tell you that you’re Mom knows what she’s talking about.  You need to always be looking out for angels.  My Mom used to tell me that they’re always watching over you, that they’ll always protect you, and that if you do find one be sure to never let it go.”

As she talked to Odin and Alicia’s sons, Bledsoe noticed something else.  They were truly happy.  In her work, she’d encountered many unhappy children and families or products of a similar kind of home life and upbringing.  But she could tell by looking at the three boys in front of her that they were the product of a close, loving, and happy family.

“Ready to go,” Tadeas asked as he came in behind Bledsoe carrying their refreshments, “this is only going to get better as the rounds progress.”

Bledsoe nodded and kneeled before repeating to the boys how wonderful it was to meet them.  She then stood up and went with Tadeas.  They all took their respective seats, and a wave of anticipation came over the crowd as Master Lee again moved to the center of the cage.

[tyrantisterror]

Bonus: More Buffy Characters I’d Ruin

I had to cut myself off while writing my How I’d Ruin It: Buffy the Vampire Slayer article because it was almost 10pm and I still hadn’t finished, but goddam if there aren’t more Buffy characters I wanted to talk about, so here’s the “deleted scenes” for the article.

Anya: Introduced as a monster of the week (specifically a demon), Anya was demoted by her bosses to a mere mortal human after she was defeated, and went on to be a recurring cast member.  Anya had a delightfully warped outlook, since she really wasn’t accustomed to human society and as such didn’t understand many social taboos. While she could be blunt and callous, she meant well, and was a good ally.  Unfortunately, she was also written to be Xander’s love interest, and most of her plots were built around him.  Worse, the rest of the characters kind of treated her like shit, regarding her with annoyance at best and outright hostility at worst.

Since my reboot is a bit kinder to monsters in general, we’d go a different way here.  Instead of being annoyed by Anya, the group would all actively try to rehabilitate her – their end goal is coexistence with the supernatural, after all, and Anya could be instrumental in that.  Though it takes a while and is often frustrating, they make progress, and Anya eventually learns the value of humanity and in turn becomes an essential ally.  Especially once her powers start coming back…

Tara: Introduced as Willow’s first female love interest, Tara was a young witch whose family told her (and all her female family members) that women in her family would become demons on their twenty first birthday, and thus had to be hidden away to keep from incurring the wrath of the outside world.  This was resolved in one episode, and afterwards Tara had little to do except be Willow’s girlfriend.  The writers later killed her off for drama because they had nothing else for her to do.

But, I mean, c’mon!  A young woman raised by an abusive and misogynistic family goes to college, discovers witchcraft AND her own homosexuality, and then rebels against her family despite being told that doing so will reveal her true inhuman nature?  Surely that has potential for more than just one episode of focus!   Let Willow and Tara have solo adventures!  Get her involved in helping the rest of the cast!  Shit, you know what, given our reboot’s stance on monsters, let’s make the family’s threat true – maybe she IS part demon.  Demons rebel against authority, and some authority needs to be rebelled against.  Tara has the potential for interesting and awesome plots – plots about how being different from what is normal doesn’t have to be a cause of shame, but can instead be literally empowering.  Let’s make it happen.

Jenny Calendar: Jenny Calendar was introduced as the high school computer teacher, and also a “technopagan,” i.e. a witch who incorporates modern technology into magic, rather than remaining in the past.  That is such a badass concept that it’s a damn shame they never did anything with it.  Instead, Jenny became Giles’ love interest, and then was revealed to be part of the Roma family that cursed Angel to have a soul, which is treated as a betrayal for some reason.  Then Angelus kills her so Giles can feel sad.

Again, there’s so much lost potential here!  Given that this reboot is playing up both the magic AND technology expertise with Willow, Jenny could easily find stuff to do as Willow’s mentor, and making a mix of magic and technology more of a thing could also allow for a lot of weird and fun monster plotlines that they would be key in solving.  Having a strong, adult female role model would also be good for, like, all of the main characters – Buffy’s mom can’t fill the role entirely since she needs to be out of the loop for plot reasons.

Kendra: The first time Buffy died and came back to life resulted in another Slayer getting called into being, violating the “there can only be one Slayer” rule after a grand total of one season.  Kendra is one of the few black characters in Buffy who gets more than one line, AND she’s a Slayer, AND she’s from Africa!  There’s a lot of potential there!  Sadly, she was kind of, well, boring, and her case wasn’t helped by the fact that the writers clearly didn’t do a whole lot of research into any of the various countries and cultures in Africa, resulting in a character that’s pretty stereotypical.

But that potential though! Let’s have the reboot violate the “only one slayer exists at a time” rule right from the get go – instead, there are many slayers, albeit still very few (definitely under 100).  Each would be the hero of their own story, and there could be fun stories where we get glimpses of the different types of supernatural threats on other parts of the globe.  We could explore how different Watchers work with their respective Slayers, comparing Giles and Buffy to others while also examining the problems with the Watchers Council (and perhaps showing that more Slayers than just Buffy realize they’re getting a raw deal here).  The potential is so great!

Faith: As mentioned in the article proper, Faith is Buffy’s evil opposite, the rogue Slayer who became a villain.  Faith loves fuckin’ and killin’, and the show makes it very clear that both of those interests are the reason she’s evil – everyone seems to go out of their way to slut shame Faith, to the point where “evil” and “skanky” are both treated as her defining attributes, each equally vilified. While Buffy has a fairly normal middle class life (despite being in a single parent household and, y’know, a vampire slayer), Faith grew up poor in an abusive environment, and has overall had a hard life.  She is very clearly a troubled person before she turns full villain, and her character arc is primarily focused on her envy of Buffy’s life.  She rants repeatedly about how often she is unfavorably compared to Buffy, and one of her evil schemes involves swapping bodies with Buffy to escape punishment for her actions.

The fact that Faith is positioned as Buffy’s evil opposite because her life situation sucks is, well, problematic, and the slut shaming piled on top of that definitely doesn’t help. However, since we inverted Buffy for this reboot, why not invert Faith as well?

Reboot Faith comes from a ridiculously rich family, is valedictorian at her school, and treats vampire slaying as an unfortunate responsibility rather than an adventure. She’s a brutally efficient yet utterly merciless Slayer.  In her mind, she’s an exterminator, not a hero who saves civilians and certainly not someone who wants to find a peaceful solution to the humans vs. monsters conflict. As far as she’s concerned, supernatural creatures threaten humanity just by existing, and the conflict can only end with one side’s total destruction.  She is essentially every negative implication of a typical “Human slays monsters” story condensed into one character – a proper opposite for Reboot Buffy’s open minded rough housing party girl monster fighter.

Forrest Gates: “Who the fuck is Forrest?” you may be asking. Working for the same government monster task force as Riley Finn, Forrest was essentially Riley’s sidekick and foil.  He was both Riley’s second in command and best friend, and he stuck with the government when Riley rebelled to be with Buffy.  Being a foil, his personality deliberately contrasts with Riley’s: while Riley is straight laced, soft spoken, and “nice” in a bland “I’m not vocally racist but I still voted for Trump” sort of way, Forrest is hot blooded, individualistic, outspoken, sarcastic, and sometimes deeply cynical. If you were to guess which of the two would rebel when they learned their government employers were up to shady shit, you’d guess Forrest – which I suppose makes it an interesting twist that he stays while rule-abidin’ Riley goes rogue.

Forrest doesn’t develop more than that, and when I first saw the series I wrote him off as just what he was written to be: Riley’s foil.  Upon rewatching the series this year, though, I noticed something: Forrest is, well, interesting.  He’s far more analytical and aware than Riley.  He’s got better lines, he’s got a good sense of humor, and he brings a wild sort of energy to every scene he’s in.  He’s got more vocal interest in and chemistry with Buffy than Riley did before they hooked up (not a hard feat, to be fair – Riley has all the romantic energy of two week old mashed potatoes).  And, yeah, he seems much more believable as the army guy who would spot the flaws in his organization and go rogue.  Let’s make Forrest the Initiative Agent who switches sides and goes with our heroes.  It verges into crackfic territory, sure, but that’s what How I’d Ruin It is all about.

Harmony: Starting as “Cordellia except without the depth,” Harmony was just a Mean Girl stereotype until she became a vampire. Then she evolved into something slightly more complex: Harmony was a woefully ineffective villain, a ditz who was not cut out for causing evil that everyone, good and evil alike, made fun of. She also became an abuse victim, which might have been poignant if the show didn’t spend all the rest of her screen time making fun of her for being dumb, shallow, and promiscuous.

I have a noted soft spot for affable and ineffectual villain characters, and I think Harmony could play a valuable role in my heretical reboot’s approach to monsters.  Harmony would be the rare person who actually improved upon becoming a vampire, as her death and rebirth as a monster helps her realize how bullshit all her high school clique nonsense was.  At the same time, she’s grossed out by the whole “eating people” thing, and her general cluelessness actually gives her a unique perspective that other vampires and monsters lack – Harmony, in her own simple way, could note the pragmatism of not eating people, since no one’s gonna stake you for buying blood from a butcher.  When grander villains rope her into their schemes, they quickly find she’s more of a hindrance than a help.  She’d be the loveable rogue of the story – not quite a hero, but never a true villain either.

And maybe we could explore toxic relationships with someone who isn’t quite so cartoonish.

“Angel”: While the core of Angel’s character – being the only vampire with a soul and the guilt that comes with – doesn’t work in the reboot’s setting, that doesn’t mean we can’t have him altogether.  Reboot Angel would take a page from his spinoff and make him a vampire Private Detective, and one of the first vampires Buffy meets that is inarguable a decent person.  He helps the helpless, gets his blood from non-human animals in a human way, and is generally a good person despite being a vampire.  In this take, Angel wouldn’t be a love interest – ‘cause even when he’s not evil, there’s a creep factor to the whole “vampire with a body that’s in its mid 20’s dating a 16 year old” thing, and also because it would be kind of funny to me for a vampire to rebuke the interests of a young vulnerable woman, since, y’know, that’s the opposite of what vampires usually do. Buffy’s crush would, painfully for her, be unrequited.

“Angelus”: In the original show, Angel lost his soul and became the evil Angelus when he and Buffy bumped uglies in the figurative way instead of the literal way they usually do.  It’s one of the more clever results of the show’s “All monsters are metaphors” approach – a guy seems nice until he sleeps with you, then he turns evil. That’s a really good way to use a monster story as a metaphor for a real problem young women face.

But.

There is a crucial difference between the figurative meaning of this plot and the LITERAL events of it, and that difference rests in the guy’s autonomy.  Angel has NO CHOICE in the matter – he has no control of his actions, no agency in the horror that follows.  His soul is magically removed by the coitus, and the evil done by Angelus is the responsibility of the vampire spirit that now runs his body. The only one who has agency here is Buffy – the person who, in the real life problem this situation is an allegory for, should be the VICTIM of the resulting abuse.  Women get blamed for making men abusive a LOT – “she was asking for it” and all that bullshit.  And here we have a monster plot that literally makes the victimized woman the only person in the relationship who has agency in causing the abuse that follows – she literally removed his soul by sleeping with him.  It’s not an unintended thing, either – some of the characters call Buffy “rash” and “careless” for sleeping with Angel, and  taken within the show’s general opinion that girls who sleep with men before marriage are bad, it’s not something we can ignore.

Still, there’s a good idea beneath the awful execution.  We just need to tweak it.

So our “Angelus” would begin as a decent guy who dates one of our young female characters – maybe Buffy, maybe Willow, maybe Cordelia, we’ve got options here.  He seems nice at first – he’s got sort of a bad boy thing going on and he’s a bit older than is normal, but whatever doubts he inspires are quickly dissuaded by the help he offers the group and his general kindness. He might be broody and angsty from time to time, but any red flags he sends are easy to write off.  Until he sleeps with the girl in question.

Then, quite literally, he turns into a monster.  Up till this point the audience would be lead to believe he’s human, but no, he reveals his true colors as something inhuman and heartless – perhaps something much worse than a vampire.  The personality change is as drastic as the physical, and our heroes quickly learn that all his “kindness” before was a ruse.  He is nothing more than cruel and sadistic predator, and one that needs to be put down.

Vampires as a whole: Buffy’s take on vampires is one of my least favorite in fiction, since they’re basically just strong guys with sharp teeth, weird eyes, Klingon bumps, and often an inexplicable knowledge of martial arts.  Like most post-Anne Rice vampires, they’re very simple so as to avoid being “goofy” – no transformation, hypnosis, etc.  My preference is for the “goofy” stuff though – turning into mist, or a giant bat, traveling on moonlight, commanding legions of rats, all that good Bram Stoker shit.  I also love some of the weird folkloric takes on vampires, like the ones with multiple hearts and other weird shit.

Borrowing a page from my own fictional universe, the vampires in my Buffy reboot would be weird and varied.  There would be multiple breeds, and even within those there’s a lot of individual variation.  While some vampires are stronger than others, ALL would be significant threats.  We’d be going for quality over quantity – while Buffy has less vampires to fight in this reboot, the ones she does slay take a lot of work to kill.  So, in short – vampires by way of Stoker rather than Rice.

[knifetengale]

Ellie-Brando C-S Support

Ellie @ mine Brando @zlosopher

C SUPPORT

Brando: Hmm... (That woman looks familiar)

Ellie: hmm? (That’s quite a vibrant color, where have i-)

Brando: Excuse me. I'm not sure if we've met yet.

Ellie: I suppose we haven't, have we?

Brando: I'm Brando, Lord Xander's retainer. Who might you be?

Ellie: (Lord Xander's retainer...huh. must be that way.) Eileen, pleasure to meet you.

Brando: A pleasure to meet you as well Eileen. What exactly are you doing here?

Ellie: Reading, as you can see. [Holds up her book]

Brando: What kind of book. History? Adventure? Romance?

Ellie: [deceptively chipper] a murder mystery! The crown prince's loyal swordsman was found dead in the rose garden, strung up in thorns and pierced with his own blade, it’s quite the tale~

Brando: Oh my. That sounds kinda interesting actually. How far into the story are you?

Ellie: They’ve just discovered the body, nobody knows who could have done it! oh how I wish I could be left to read unhindered. I feel much more engaged when I can immerse myself into the words

Brando: My apologies then. I didn't mean to disturb you. After you're done may I treat you to some of the pastries I've baked to make it up to you?

Ellie: Perhaps, what pastries are we speaking of?

Brando: Tarts, Danishes, and a few pies.

Ellie: ...perhaps i wouldnt mind a short break now

 B SUPPORT

Ellie: ...you know, you remind me of someone i once met.

Brando: Actually, I thought the same... I think I saw you somewhere before...

Ellie: i have a reckoning we are perhaps thinking the same event. I am recalling to when i was yet learning the staff and there was a great fire in the village. There was a man with your eyes there, fighting against the cavalier that defended me. That cavalier had been part of an outlaw gang that had kidnapped a young noblewoman and would pay a hefty reward if she was safely returned

Brando: Wait... You mean the cavalier that held that woman captive? The cavalier I killed by splitting his head open?

Ellie: (rising anger) That cavalier that had pulled me from the burning mess that was the courthouse, from beneath the crest of Nohr. that cavalier that had given his last elixir so that I may yet live to heal others. you are lucky his mare did not split your head open with her hooves, panicked as she was her primary rider was now dead.

Brando: ...Both sides knew the risk. Your group was doing their job, as was mine. It was either fight or die.

Ellie: (closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, visibly resettling when she calms down, a slight smirk and smugness on her face) ...and what will you do now? There is nothing you can say to anyone, what proof do you have? (leaves with a sweep of her caplet)

Brando: ... You didn't even finish the tea I made to go with your pastry.

Transition

Brando: Hello again Ellie.

Ellie: ....

Brando: Still upset huh? It's understandable.

Ellie: ... are you quite finished? Or are you volunteering for target practice with my new stave

Brando: Huh?

Ellie: ....

Brando: Ellie?

Ellie: What. Do you want. I'm reading.

Brando: I brought you some sweets I had left. Would you like them?

Ellie: And why would I accept anything from you?

Brando: ... You know I could've killed you. After I had taken that man’s life I decided to spare you

Ellie: Because I got away, only to have the misfortune of running into you again

Brando: I could have gone after you but I didn't. I wasn't going to harm a woman who could barely walk... I didn't enjoy killing him. It was the only way I could get the job done and feed my family.

Ellie: You think he wasn't trying to feed his as well?

Brando: He was doing his job by trying to kill me. As was I. Do you think I'd just let myself die when I had my parents back home?

Ellie: You had the choice to use mercy, and you didn't. Were you in such a battle blind rage you just knew to strike?

Brando: Tell me Ellie. Would your friend have spared me if I was the one who was defeated? Would he have let me go after I was beaten?

Ellie: Ardal wouldn't have even raised his lance if you hadn't raised your sword first.

Brando: The question is would he let me live. Someone who would have rescued that woman and ruin his job and potentially his family. Would he not have plunged his lance into my heart if I lost?

Ellie: (getting audibly frustrated) And who is to say that woman had not been rescued already? Who is to say that?

Brando: I was told during that job that it would be a rescue mission. Save the woman and return her to where she belonged.

Ellie: There were many women in that village on that day, how were you so sure about her? Or did you just assume that any woman outside was an oddity? (huffs and attempts to calm) ... this conversation is over. I will have nothing more to do with you

Brando: ... Very well then. Good day Ellie.

Ellie: ...

 A SUPPORT

Ellie: Stupid...stupid....what does he know

Faceless: ?

Ellie: Wh-shit!

(Tome sounds)

Brando: Huh? What was that?

Ellie: (bumps into him as she’s trying to make distance) move it! You have approximately 4 seconds before i entrap you and leave for fodder

Brando: I'm not about to let you take that thing on your own!

(the Faceless catches up)

[Brando: You're not touching her! Haaah! (he swings his blade at it)

Ellie: (casts entrap, locking the faceless in place) get to it! (Fussing with her hip pouch to draw out the stronger tome

Brando: (pierces it with his sword) Gotcha you sack of- huh?!

(the affects of the tome wear of and the Faceless punches Brando into a tree)

Brando: Gaaah! *cough* Well there goes that idea

Ellie: Odds bobs the gods- (hurries over and readies the tome) Now be HAVE!!

(the Faceless falls)

Brando: Your pretty good Ellie... Don't mind me, just some broken bones, that's all.

Ellie: (heaving deep breaths) Shut up and let me catch my wind.... (pulls out her trusty psychic stave and casts it, helping him up when she’s less grumpy) It’ll hold you over, come on.

Brando: And here I was thinking you hated me, hehe...

Ellie: I would rather not have become Faceless food, or been executed for leaving you to die you dolt. Stop dragging your feet, I want to get back to my books

Brando: Huh... I knew there was a reason I didn't go after you those years back. It was so I could meet you again... Try to make amends...

Ellie: ...Less talking more walking.

 S SUPPORT

Brando: Hey there Ellie. Brought some sweets for you to try out. *he comes in with three packages*

Ellie: Good afternoon, Brando. *shuts her book and reaches out a hand* What are todays flavors?

Brando: Hm? You used my name... Well that's a surprise.

Ellie: No I didn't, you were hearing things.

Brando: Well today I have something for you. I'll give you these boxes one at a time and you tell me if you like them.

*he hands her the first box. In it there's a piece of cherry pie*

Ellie: oh! Cherry, I haven’t had it in a while, and the lattice is so delicately done... (purrs but totally denies purring as she takes the fork to eat the tiny piece

Brando: I'm glad you love it. Next up is this one.

*the second box holds a piece of cheesecake*

Ellie: well isn’t this a surprise, I heard this was hard to make... It’s delicious…

Brando: ... The last one... w-well... Here you go...

*the final box has little weight when Ellie holds it*

Ellie: ...?  *confusion, both as to why brando hadn’t introduced it and why it’s so light* Is it a macaroon?

Brando: ...

*when Ellie opens the box it reveals a golden ring with a jewel in the center*

Ellie: *surprise, looking from him to the box* I... Hey...is this a joke..?

Brando: No... Ellie. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Ellie: I...

*blushes hard*

Brando: I love you. When I said, there was a reason I knew we'd meet again... It was because I knew that after seeing you again that I wanted to be with you. I wanted to protect you from anything that comes your way. I'll respect whatever answer you give me but... Ellie? Will you marry me?

Ellie: *flustered, holds her tome closer* I can protect myself well enough but *a small smile forms on her face, extending her hand* A partner wouldn’t be too far out of the question. I do need someone to watch my back

Brando: *blushes and smiles* S-So... You'll be my wife?!

Ellie: *reaches over and paps his nose* It’s a yes you silly dolt. *hooks a finger in his collar to draw him in for a small kiss*

Brando: ... *begins to tear up while smiling* Ellie... Thank you... I promise to be by your side for the rest of my life.

Ellie: *hugs him* Dry your eyes before you make me cry too...

[oilskirt7-blog]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Rewatch: Consequences

The Scoobies are good at fighting monsters, but they're terrible at planning interventions. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 3 Episode 15 showed that they only made things worse for the Faith situation.

With a little more care and planning, they could've gotten through to her. I believed it when I was eight years old; and I still believe it now after rewatching again. They completely fumbled in convincing her to trust them.

Let's discuss why by rewatching "Consequences."

Faith's and Buffy's reactions to the murder shed some light on their personalities.

Whereas Buffy was wracked with guilt and having nightmares, Faith brushed it off and internalized her pain. The secret weighed too heavy on Buffy's conscious to not be addressed.

That's not to say Faith didn't have a conscious. She absolutely did! On the other hand, survival was more important to her. As long as she didn't get in trouble or hurt, she would be fine living life five-by-five.

Still, Faith did feel guilty about the murder and what she had done. She just didn't want to open those emotional wounds and have to face the consequences.

To get the truth out of her, everything would need to rely on the approach. "Consequences" featured tactics that only made things worse, but there were a few that could've worked with time and slight changes.

Buffy appealing to Faith's emotions wasn't going to work.

Faith had already made a logical conclusion to herself about the attack. You could hear it in her words in the classroom, on the street, and when they broke into the deputy mayor's office. Faith had justified the murder as an accident while being on the job.

Related: Enjoy UNLIMITED access to thousands of Movies and TV shows with Amazon Prime Video. WATCH ANYWHERE. CANCEL ANYTIME!

That type of argument would naturally be the first one someone would go to after a traumatic moment. So, it's understandable why Buffy tried to reason with Faith to feel sympathy for the crime.

The problem, however, was that Faith didn't want to hear any of it.

Sticking to the story of it being an accident was the only way she was going to make it through. And yes, the death was an accident, but her truth to the world was that she wasn't there. To herself, all of it was simply a casualty of the job.

Unless Faith started feeling guilty herself, Buffy's words would fall on silence.

Part of it also could've been the fact that Buffy was the one delivering the argument.

The Slayers had a secret together that would've implicated them in a crime. If Faith was going down, you better believe she would do anything to take Buffy down with her. She basically said as much in the classroom.

Plus, even though the two were friends, Faith did have a touch of jealousy and animosity towards Buffy. Having the truth come out that the "bad girl" Faith committed the crime would've reinforced her inner narrative that Buffy was perfect and she was the mistake.

Faith's retorts had a tone of frustration and malice toward Buffy.

Mayor Wilkins: This isn't working. Mr. Trick: It's supposed to do something besides shred paper? Mayor Wilkins: It's supposed to cheer me up it what it's supposed to do. Why in the world would Allan leave a paper trail a mile long about our dealings? You think he was going to betray me? Oh no, that's a horrible thought! Now he's dead and I'll never have the chance to, well ... scold him and find out.

The intervention with the Scoobies had the most positive potential. It's a shame that this tactic never came to be because it could have worked.

Faith held a deeply rooted paranoia that none of the Scoobies were her friends, and that they looked down on her because she wasn't perfect Buffy. By having the core group reinforce that they would stick by her and help her, Faith would've allowed herself to trust them.

The Scoobies wanted to help her, and Faith wanted to feel like she belonged.

Another supporting piece to having this intervention would've been Giles explaining the process of past Slayers. As he mentioned to the group, human casualties happened before in the line of fire. If Faith worked with the Scoobies, she would have had options and could get the help she needed to deal with the death.

Her reactions stemmed from a need for survival. If she felt supported, she wouldn't act so defensively and uncaring.

We can look to two reasons why this tactic never came to be: (1) The Scoobies didn't tell Wesley about the chat, and (2) Xander not knowing the meaning of a casual hook-up.

Don't get me wrong, Xander thought he was legitimately doing the right thing. He was 17/18 years old, so basically, a teenage boy who just lost his virginity. He thought he had a deeper connection with Faith because of that moment.

We can give him the benefit of the doubt here. (For those who are shocked right now, yes, I did just defend Xander. There are first times for everything.)

Related: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Rewatch: Bad Girls

On the other hand, if Buffy and Giles gave ample warning about not playing the "romance" card with Faith, Xander should have heeded that advice. Faith didn't respect the hook-ups she had, and Xander's chat would've meant nothing.

His reckless late night visit to the motel nearly got him killed because of it.

Wesley: Does everybody know about you? Buffy: She's a friend. Cordelia: Let's not exaggerate.

Also, poor Willow! How could you not feel her heartbreak in the bathroom? The entire Xander crush had caused nothing but pain and sorrow for her.

Luckily, she got out of that romantic mess once and for all after they were discovered. If this heartache was the final nail that ended this storyline, it was better to have it in the long-run than continue a plot that was too destructive.

Eliza Dushku's performance during Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 3 Episode 15 might be one of her best ever.

The pathway of emotions felt like a roller coaster because she seamlessly took us from anger to seduction to sadness and back again in the span of an hour. Her character development broke through every emotional response triggered by her guilt.

You could tell from her tone and expression that she loved getting into the mind of Evil Faith.

The "black widow" scene with Xander in the motel felt unhinged and raw. Faith's progression from reluctance to seductive to murderous happened quickly before our eyes, and the transition felt natural to the character. She embraced her villainous side in that scene.

Related: David Boreanaz Defends Buffy Reboot: What Did He Say?

The suffocation was a shocking twist you didn't expect to happen; it's one of the few times where Buffy the Vampire Slayer caught us off-guard without any warning.

You hoped for a redemption for Faith, but when she started choking Xander, the harsh reality hit: Faith enjoyed the pain and power too much. She became a character who wouldn't resist killing off the main characters, and that was a scary concept. It didn't take until the Angel therapy session to truly break down barriers.

You and me, Faith, we're a lot alike. Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness.

Angel

Angel and Faith's friendship was one of the more underappreciated relationships. Only until the spin-off Angel (and the graphic novels) did this friendship get the attention it deserved.

If they had a little more time together, he could've gotten through to her.

Wesley had to come in and ruin the day like he always did. If they had warned him, he probably wouldn't have called the Watchers Council. Especially if Cordelia was the one to ask him, he totally wouldn't have done anything.

Wesley: My. She's cheeky, isn't she? Faith: Uh, first word: jail. Second word: bait.

Faith seemed so receptive to his words, and she also seemed ready to chat about it with Buffy at the docks. They were both so close to making a breakthrough, but something kept interrupting them at the worst times.

We have to look at it as fate.

Fate needed Mr. Trick to die so that Faith would assume the job opening. Faith needed to be working with Mayor Wilkins so that the Scoobies would eventually fight him. And these betrayals would lead to Faith's redemption.

It's a shame that Faith couldn't have stayed on the side of good, but I wouldn't trade some of the great chapters that came from her switch to the dark side. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 3 was better off because of it.

What did you think of "Consequences"? Would you have handled the Faith situation differently? Was Xander's heart in the right place? Should the Scoobies have looped Wesley into the plan?

Want to join us in rewatching Buffy the Vampire Slayer? We'll be posting new rewatch posts on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Come back here and share your thoughts of the episode in the comments.

Justin Carreiro is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter.

Source: https://www.tvfanatic.com/2018/10/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-rewatch-consequences/

[chaos-weekly]

Xander hated apologizing to people, but the lawyer lady, Imogen Grey, had all but told him it was this or never work again. He had a bad reputation in his field. Difficult to work with, defiant, selfish, rude, and so many other names. Worst part? They were all (mostly) true. The one calling him an illegitimate child was inaccurate. His parents were definitely married. And definitely pissed he hadn’t married yet, even if it would have been Leah, who they logically hated.

The director had grilled him when Xander tried to apologize. He’d stood there for twenty minutes before the director finally took him almost seriously. It was as good as Xander was gonna get with him. Apologizing to everyone else afterwards hadn’t been as bad. He’d brought gift baskets customized to them (a little bit of a LinkedIn or Facebook search told him everything he needed to know) as a bribe. Or more to say he was serious. Xander wasn’t sure which it was, but he wasn’t that serious. Yeah, sure, he’d disrupted the filming process and occasionally slowed things down and definitely pissed off everyone he ever worked with, but he didn’t really care how he impacted others. Probably made him callous—another word used to describe him—but Xander was out there living life for himself and no one else. He loved acting, it was his passion, and maybe he loved acting however he wanted, too.

But the lawyer lady had also told him to end things with Leah. They’d only been back on for a week and a half, and Xander knew she was about to flip out on him, but he also knew Imogen was right. Leah was only trouble. Hopefully being legally advised to dump his sort of girlfriend would actually get him to stay away this time. He’d have to find somebody else to toy with and hook up with, especially now that Didi had to keep things quiet since she was publicly dating JJ. Too many paps lurked in Xander’s neighborhood, and Nollie said they were too loud to ever hook up at Didi’s place. Sadly, Didi respected her best friend. Which wasn’t horrible, but it was inconvenient.

He knocked on Leah’s door and with a begrudged sigh. She opened it, a grin forming when she saw him.

“Hey, baby,” she cooed, opening the door to welcome him in. Xander didn’t move.

“We need to talk, Leah.” His tone was final, hopefully. He needed her to realize that this was over. She was literally endangering his career. Leah was bad news in every department.

Leah’s eyes narrowed instantly. She recognized his tone. This wasn’t the first time he had dumped her. Hopefully it would be the last, but even Xander didn’t believe that.

“No. I’m not letting you do this, Alexander.”

“Xander,” he hissed. When he was on with Leah, it was sexy when she called him by his full name. The rest of the time? It drove him absolutely insane. Not in the fun way, either.

“You’re not dumping me,” Leah reiterated, her tone more final that his. Xander’s shoulders stiffened and his jaw clenched.

“I’ve been legally advised to break things off for good. Being with you is ruining my career. It’s not just ‘Defender.’ It’s being with you and around you. We aren’t good for each other, Leah.” But Xander struggled to make eye contact, focused on her forehead more than her eyes.

Leah stared at him hard and long. Xander looked away, but she forced him to make eye contact when she pulled his chin towards her. Leah had stepped forward, and without warning she was kissing him. Xander being Xander, he kissed her back, hard and long. But he tore himself away when reality hit.

“No! Leah, this is what I’m talking about. We just pull each other down!”

She scowled at him, still practically standing on top of him. “My life has been better since I’ve met you.”

“Yeah, ‘cause your song about me got you a number one on Billboard. I don’t do commitment. I hate monogamy. And that’s all you want. We’re absolutely not good for each other! Why can’t you see this? Open your eyes!” Xander took a big step backwards, frustrated with her stubbornness. It wasn’t sexy anymore. She wasn’t (as) sexy anymore.

He hadn’t been kidding when he’d told Imogen that Leah was a nightmare.

“You’re a horrible person,” she hissed, eyes turned into slits with anger and concentration.

“Yeah? So are you,” Xander spat out. Leah looked hurt, genuinely hurt, but as always, he really didn’t care. She mattered to him, but she didn’t matter at all at the same time. She was a toy he could rely on. She offered a constant in his life. But she wasn’t a good toy. She wasn’t a good constant.

“It’s over, Leah. For good.” He didn’t look at her before turning and stalking back to his sports car. He probably should have felt better. Xander was finally getting rid of Leah! But he mostly felt like he’d just doomed himself even more.

[chaos-weekly]

Didi was never going to admit this, not even to Nollie, but Jude Jackson had a nice set of abs. Of course, that was one of the last things she saw before quickly falling asleep in a bed that smelled exactly like JJ. She’d been swathed in all night when he’d had his arm around her, and now she was wrapped in it even more. At least he smelled nice.

When she woke in the morning, Didi went through her mental checklist meant for whenever she woke up in a bed that wasn’t her own.

Was she alone? Yes.

Had she fallen asleep alone? Yes.

Was she naked? No.

Had she had sex? No. Although the thought had definitely crossed her half asleep mind after seeing JJ’s abs. And his arms and pecs and shoulders and back and ugh. He was hot. She hated it.

But she was in JJ’s bed, and it wasn’t for a weird reason or a sexual reason. Which was probably even weirder than a weird reason—it not being sexual. Sighing, Didi sat up and pulled on her bathrobe—really, it was a silk robe just like the one Nollie had been wearing the night before. Short, maybe, but it covered even more than the t shirt she had slept in over her underwear.

Didi didn’t look at her phone, just grabbing it on her way out of the room to find food. A glance at the couch showed that JJ was still asleep, sprawled across the couch looking incredibly comfortable. A glance at the fridge showed her that JJ needed to go grocery shopping. He had some milk that was close to expiring, some cheese, and a few other things. No eggs to make herself an omelette. Figured. He was a bachelor. Maybe not publicly, but he was.

“Okay, I’m ordering takeout,” Didi said, walking over to the couch. She reached down, shaking JJ’s shoulder. He murmured incoherently. Of course he was a heavy sleeper.

“I’m ordering breakfast. What do you want?” she asked again, louder. This at least got him to open his eyes. He looked at her in confusion, and she was pretty sure he was surprised for a second there. Probably shocked to see a woman he hated waking him up with promises of food.

“What’s your favorite place for breakfast?” Didi asked again, shaking her phone for emphasis. He squinted at her in the morning light.

“The diner down the street. Mary’s Place,” JJ answered after comprehension finally settled in.

“Cool. Now sit up, I’m not sitting on one of those bar stools while I wait.”

“So demanding, baby girl,” JJ muttered. It wasn’t worth glaring at him for the nickname, though. That would probably only encourage him. Luckily, though, he did sit up.

It took a few minutes for her to order their food for delivery, but she did finally get it. It was only then that she checked her texts. Nollie wanted to make sure she was okay and that JJ hadn’t been murdered. Nothing from Xander, which was a little weird. She expected him to bother her about sleeping with JJ. There was one from her mom, saying how nice she looked on the white carpet and asking who her handsome date was. Didi smiled and rolled her eyes. She and her mom had grown apart since their poolside Madonna days, but her mother was still an important person in her life. Work just happened to keep Didi plenty busy.

Then she saw that Jared had texted her at six am. All too early for a Sunday, but what he’d said was even worse.

‘For my sake, I hope you got lucky last night.’

What?

Jared had always been, not interested, but concerned with her sex life and how it impacted her career. She understood it from a publicity angle, but this had nothing to do with publicity. This was just creepy and. And. And Didi didn’t know what else!

“I’m going to murder him,” she stated, still shocked. What else was there to say?

“Xander isn’t that bad,” JJ joked, but he sobered up when he glanced at her phone screen.

There was a lot of colorful language to follow for the next thirty seconds. And many angry and confused exclamations. Didi was pretty sure someone finally hated Jared as much as she did.

“That’s none of his business,” JJ finished, running both hands through his wild red curls. He had stood up, and his swearing had left him breathless. Didi felt the exact same way.

“Yeah, well, he apparently doesn’t think so,” she spat out in frustration. She locked her phone and let her head fall back against the couch.

“How on earth does he think that’s an appropriate thing to say? How does he have a job if he says things like that?” JJ was appalled, and it comforted her knowing that he was as freaked out as she was. Actually, he was probably more freaked out. He wasn’t used to behavior like this from his manager.

“Because hooking up with other famous guys has landed me in plenty of hot water because Hollywood sucks. Because he still thinks I’m the reason Xander and Leah broke up. Because he thinks he can make every personal part of my life his business.” She dropped her phone, eyes squeezed shut. As soon as this fake dating contract was up in six months and three weeks, she was firing Jared. And probably suing him, too. She had legal grounds for that, right? If not, Didi would find legal grounds.

JJ swore again and finally sat back down on the couch. “Jake is bad, but he’s not like that. That’s screwed up.”

She sat back up with a resigned shrug. “I’m firing him as soon as I can. He’s done enough crappy things already, but this is straight up creepy.” Didi shook her head, done with this topic.

“How is Jake bad?” It didn’t occur to her that this was her first actual conversation with JJ, who still seemed rattled by Jared’s creepy comment. But thankfully, JJ understood that she was dropping the topic.

“He’s a workaholic. Doesn’t have faith in us making it last. Obsessed with taking every opportunity for fame. We don’t get much free time. Only reason I’m here right now is ‘cause of the photo op arranged for later.”

That sucked. Big time. Jared was messed up, but at least he didn’t control every aspect of her life.

“That sucks,” Didi said, eyes downcast so she wouldn’t stare at his chest. He was still shirtless. But she wasn’t about to complain.

JJ shrugged, but the knock at the door kept him from saying anything more. He got up and returned a minute or two later with two leftover boxes and silverware.

“Here ya go, princess ,” JJ said when he handed her her box. This time, Didi didn’t roll her eyes at the pet name. It wasn’t as bad as sweet thang or baby girl. Doll hadn’t been too bad either, though. Not that any of this mattered. She was here for seven months and then JJ would be out of her life for good, and everyone would be better off for it.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, a lot quieter than normal. Thankfully, JJ didn’t try to bring anything up again, so they ate in a silence that wasn’t entirely uncomfortable. After eating, while she was getting ready for the day, he cleared out one of his bedroom drawers. It surprised Didi, but she placed her travel toiletries in there without a word.

“Hey, JJ?” she asked as he walked her towards the door. Didi was dressed now, a garment bag for last night’s gown in one hand.

“Yeah, doll?”

“Don’t mention the Jared thing to Xander. He’ll flip out,” she requested, her voice surprisingly soft. Maybe this had rattled her more than she thought. Xander may have been preparing to tease Didi and JJ for the next seven months, but he was partially doing it to bother them for laughs. He would probably try and publicly bring down Jared for what he’d said. Except because of contracts and NDAs, Didi would get sued if that happened. It would be an even bigger mess, and she loved her best friend, but she didn’t need his protective side to kick in.

JJ looked a little surprised by her request. “I wasn’t gonna. Why would I tell him?”

Great. This was awkward. “I dunno. ‘Cause we’re both friends with him, I guess.” She had definitely read the situation differently.

“Not his business unless we want it to be,” JJ pointed out, opening up the door for Didi. As expected, a few paps were out front of his small townhome. Show time.

Didi flashed him her biggest grin, standing on her tiptoes and launching herself at JJ with a giant hug.

“Sorry,” she whispered, not for the hug, but because she felt bad dragging him into her Jared mess. Not that she’d even dragged him in. Jared had forced everyone into this situation.

But at least Didi could have some fun with it. She pulled JJ’s head closer to hers, and pretending to whisper something in his ear, she nipped the top of it. It was flirty, but still gentle. And also in full view of the cameras.

“I’ll see you tonight, baby,” she called out once she was almost to the car that would take her home to Nollie. Didi was pretty sure they weren’t actually seeing each other that night, but the words slipped out. She gave JJ, who was smirking at her, a wink.

Maybe he wasn’t as absolutely horrible as she thought. He had nice abs, if nothing else.