knifetengale

[knifetengale]

im ouppy

[knifetengale]

[knifetengale]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[knifetengale]

does anyone know if you can get in trouble for feeling weird

[knifetengale]

kensyouen_Y

[knifetengale]

kensyouen_Y

[knifetengale]

*sighs dreamily* what a fucking weirdo

[knifetengale]

american idiot (2004) - green day

“dont wanna be an american - fuck america”

[knifetengale]

having audio processing issues is so humiliating like yeah i heard you and yeah i was actively listening but the problem is i dont know what the fuck you sayed

[knifetengale]

help me

[knifetengale]

when the piece of media got emotional reaction so strong that you're afraid to re-experience it in it

[knifetengale]

no tumblr i'm not gonna spam those so the left counter overflows and turns into "TUM" or something equally corny

[knifetengale]

"use chatgpt" that's the devil talking. buy four caffeinated drinks and pull an all nighter. this is the way.

[knifetengale]

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

[knifetengale]

wishing a very bearable seasonal affective disorder to all who observe

[knifetengale]

woah dude..... your hurt sound is vaguely sexual..... im trying to kill you but im. im getting a bit flustered