#when I write the next chapter of my current wip I enjoy reading the previous chapters and thinking “huh this is nice”

[siriusly-sapphic]

Really my best advice to enjoying to write fanfiction is to just write things you think you'll genuinely enjoy reading. And then to do that, occasionally. Read and reread and reread your own fics because you spent a lot of time on them, and taking the time to read your work and read the exact perfectly-tailored-to-your-tastes fic that's right there waiting for you? Enjoy that. Appreciate that you wrote that for your own amusement, and let yourself be amused by it.

[writersdrug]

Ghost x Reader x Konig: I Don't Need You (Ch. 10)

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Summary: Thankfully, things have been resolved between you and Konig. You start to settle in more with your team, and Roze shares a few thoughts with you over a smoke. The memories are still there, but just like the winter around you, they're cold and unwelcoming. You and Konig open up to each other a bit more, more than you had ever opened up to anyone.

WARNINGS: implications of masturbation, cursing, angst (if you squint?), plot building, graphic depictions of animal torture and death (PLEASE CONSIDER ALL WARNINGS BEFORE READING THIS, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME thank you kindly)

Notes: Yes! Hello! I exist!! I've been in a slump, and I really do apologize for that. Many of you have been very patient with me and I love and appreciate you all for it! I had to intake as much CoD literature as I could in the past few weeks to get me motivated, which helped a LOT (not to mention I discovered no fewer than ten works that currently have a hold on my heart). But it's here! I forced myself to write over half of the following chapter so that it would be less daunting to finish up. I also plan to make a wip post for yall, just to share will everyone what goes on in my rat brain.

This was edited at 3 am (god it's 4 am now, i just saw that), so if there are any grammatical or spelling errors you have my full consent to call me out on it! Please enjoy!

(sidenote, I completely didn't research how old you need to be to become a navy SEAL, so reader's age is a bit inaccurate in regards to that. pls ignore lol)

(last sidenote then you can read, does anyone have tips for customizing the layout of their fics? I see so many cool ways to style the font and cute banners and errything but I have no idea how nor what to do)

- - - -

The sky hung low with a blanket of gray. It looked like it was about to snow, although the threat was soon dismissed when noon came around and there wasn’t a single flake. The air was cold and dry, forcing me to zip my jacket up all the way and tuck my nose into the collar. I blew steady, warm breaths into my jacket and tried to soak up the heat into my bones.

It was as if the incident had never happened.

Konig and I ended up driving to the liquor store, which was a blessing, since I had run out of Yeungling (and I didn’t understand enough Turkish to converse with the clerk, nor did I have any of the appropriate money – Konig was graced with both of those necessities). We talked like there had never been a week and a half of silence between us. He talked about how he had nearly forced Ridgeback to drag me out of my room and into the common area, “… but it would have been too early for that.” He commented. That, and I would have rather died.

So life went on as normal: dreary, aside from shooting people and getting shot at. Nonetheless, it was normal, and there was a peace to be found in that.

I leaned against the building to the training room, with Roze to my left. I had intended to come out and soak up whatever natural light I could – when I saw her standing there, possibly trying to do the same, I felt the instinct to play it off as if I was just leaving the building. But she cocked her head in a greeting, and a part of me took an interest in her worry-free aura. Out of everyone, she always seemed to be the least-stressed person in the room, even in the middle of a warzone. It was the balm to my anxious mind that I never knew I needed, but gratefully stood by.

We remained together in a comfortable silence (one I would most definitely would not have been comfortable with a while ago), staring ahead, watching the indecisiveness of the brooding clouds above. I wondered what the rest of the world was doing – if they might have been as calm and carefree as us, or if they were in some kind of peril, and the horrors of it were blocked out by the clouds.

I was drawn back to the present when I heard the click click click of Roze’s lighter. I turned my head and watched as she shielded the weak flame from the wind, lighting the cigarette that hung loosely from her lips.

“You smoke?” I asked.

“Sure do.” She replied nonchalantly. “Want one?” she extended her pack of cigarettes towards me.

I glanced at the box, feeling a sour taste in my mouth.

I lay on my stomach, my muscles still twitching and shaking as I tried to even out my breaths. Ghost had tossed a thin blanket over my lower half. I hadn’t even moved from the position he had ruthlessly fucked me in – my body ached too much to even try, and my mind was still recovering from the past hour.

I watch Ghost as he reclined next to me, pushing the bottom of his mask up to place a cigarette between his lips. It was the first time I had seen any part of his face all day. He grabbed his lighter from the pocket of his pants that were discarded on the floor, lighting the end of the cigarette and inhaling. He tossed the lighter back down to the floor as he tilted his head back, exhaling a long stream of smoke. I watched it swirl in the lamplight, settling in a cloud around us. He continued puffing, staring at the wall across from the bed as I lay beside him, although I felt worlds away from him.

He'd started off the night with a mountain of stress from a mission gone sideways. Instead of the usual slow build, where he would run his hands under my shirt and kiss my lips slowly and tenderly – he had walked in and immediately demanded I remove my clothes while he began stripping out of his. I had assumed tonight was going to be a passionate one, until he threw me onto my stomach and shoved my face into the pillows. It wasn’t the first time he’d been rough with me, but it wasn’t just rough – it felt dehumanizing. An hour of constant, merciless thrusts, and a hand around my neck that restricted both my blood flow and my oxygen, and I had fallen into a state of shock.

But, in the end, I was happy to be caged in by him again.

I was happy.

He turned his eyes towards me, seeming to sense that something was off. He exhaled another puff of smoke. “Everythin’ alright?” he asked, completely void of any genuine concern.

I met his eyes with my own. I felt like I shouldn’t have to answer the question, and it stirred up a bitterness in me. But I didn’t feel like arguing with him, and I certainly didn’t want him to leave – so I nodded my head, slowly blinking my eyes. “Just tired.”

He hummed and faced the wall again. He brought one of his knees up and rested his arm against it. “Want a smoke?” he asked, still looking away.

I shook my head as much as the pillow beneath me would allow. “No.” I replied.

He sighed disappointedly. Apparently, my lack of enthusiasm after being used like an old fucktoy was irking him.

To be fair, I never spoke up about how I felt.

He grunted and rose from his position, snuffing out his cigarette in the ashtray by my bed, and picking up his clothes and pulling them on. My heart ached slightly as I watched him slide his shirt over his torso. I felt the threat of tears sting in my eyes as I wished his hands were holding me instead, keeping me warm and grounded. He pulled his jeans on and fastened them, buckling his belt rather quickly; and all while he faced away from me.

“Well, I know you probably need some alone time.” He muttered, sliding the skull attachment over his mask. “So I’ll get going. I’ll see you around.”

He grabbed his tactical vest and jacket and slung them over his shoulder. He paused by the door. “Thanks for tonight.” He mumbled, before finally leaving the room and softly closing the door behind him.

My eyes lingered on the ashtray with the half-smoked cigarette. A thin trail of smoke plumed into the air – I wanted to throw the tray across the room and shatter it. But it was Ghost’s, so I couldn’t; I couldn’t regardless, because it was a piece of him that remained with me, even when he left.

That, and the smell of smoke.

“Nah, I’m good.” I replied, facing the cold, empty base ahead of me.

“Good.” She said, pinching the cigarette and blowing a stream of smoke. “Stay that way. Did you know these bastards give you cancer?”

I chuckled into the collar of my jacket. “Do they, now?”

She hummed affirmatively, sucking another breath in through the cancerous bastard. “Who would’ve thought…”

We fell back into silence. I continued watching the stillness of the base, trying to see if the sky would follow through with its promise to fall. Now that my free time wasn’t spent holed up in my room, it somehow felt like there were fewer ways to spend it. With another mission on the horizon – a simple recon, yet dauntingly close to a heavily-guarded compound – no one was out and about when they usually were. Finding Roze outside and seemingly not worried was usual, however, and a warm sight, compared to how the rest of the team was on edge. Even Askel seemed grumpier than most days.

I hadn’t been seeking out someone to spend time with, no… that I would never do (or admit). But talking to a familiar face provided a comfort I had grown to need over the past couple of months. And, frankly, I felt like Konig might be getting tired of how much I ran to him when I craved social interaction. Though he had never said anything about it, I felt like I needed to branch out to other team members than just my Colonel. One might think I was trying to kiss his ass (I knew the accusation had already crossed Juno’s mind, but the young soldier was good at holding his tongue – when Konig was around, at least).

“You ever think about how ‘little girl’ you would react to this?” Roze asked, and I turned to face her. She had her nose scrunched, and a tinge of pink dusted over her cold cheeks. “Guns, war, no playdates or days at the beach…”

I sighed. “Probably would have cried.” I replied, allowing my freezing nose to poke over the collar of my jacket. “Especially if I had known that being a princess now adays meant spending more time worrying about becoming a hostage than anything else.”

Roze chuckled. “It’s a good thing we didn’t know then.” Her face was mostly blank, but I thought I noticed a hint of bitterness in the way her gaze landed on the ground. I watched her flick her cigarette with a bit more aggression than usual. “I would’ve tried to convince my entire family to run away to Scotland, live in hiding and pretend the rest of the world was a dream.”

“Scotland?” I asked. Soap’s cocky grin and heavy Scottish accent stirred in my mind, but it felt like nothing more than a small cloud of dust.

“Yeah – heard it’s fucking gorgeous over there.” She waved her cigarette in no particular direction. “Now, I don’t know how peaceful it is in terms of politics and war, but it’s pretty spacious. Simple, too. I feel like if I talked about throwing all my shit away and becoming a fisherman for a living, I wouldn’t get people trying to talk me out of it like I would in the States.” She took another drag, and laughed out the smoke.

“Fisherman?”

“Yeah.” She chuckled, a hardened smile gracing her lips. “I don’t know why it sounds so appealing… it just does.”

I hummed and looked back out at the compound. I wondered about Roze’s past; she had never said or done anything to indicate that it was particularly rough, as it was for the majority of us (us – I still wasn’t used to including myself, but it was becoming more of a habit each time), but the weariness in her eyes when she spoke about her younger self made me question what that girl had been through. Maybe it was just nostalgia. A yen for simpler times. Roze seemed to appreciate the simple things in life.

“You know Askel goes ice fishing?” she said suddenly.

I smiled underneath my jacket. “Seems like something he would do.”

“Every winter.” She continued. She dropped her cigarette to the floor and crushed it into the gravel. “He takes about three weeks of leave, if we’re lucky enough to get it, and goes to Norway. Sits on a frozen lake for hours a day, just waiting for a fish.”

“You make it sound like he’s never caught one.” I point out, my eyes lingering on the cigarette.

She shrugged her shoulders. “So does he. Every time I ask him what he caught, he just laughs. Says he’s never expects to get a bite.”

I closed my eyes and hummed in response. It was easy to picture the scene – Askel, sitting on a thick layer of ice, nursing the hoppy beers that he and Konig loved so much and waiting for a fish to bite. I wondered if he even bothered to reel the line in when he did catch something. Or if he even went fishing at all. Maybe he just went out there to get a sense of peace, to pretend that war and death didn’t exist.

The motion of thick, heavy snowflakes falling from the sky caught my attention. They landed on the skin of my nose, resisting the warmth for a few moments, before they eventually melted into trickles of water. A sudden gust of wind blew a flurry of them towards us, making the both of us flinch.

Maybe fishing doesn’t sound too bad.

- - - -

The shooting range was mostly silent, save for the occasional conversation between me and Konig. The lights were low, easily illuminating the gunpowder and dust swirling in the air. Konig and I stared at the paper target as we analyzed my shots. A few hit dead center, although most of them were clustered around the lower left of the bullseye. My lips were pursed into a scowl as I glared at my sub-par aim – it wasn’t typically so awful, but of course it was while Konig had been watching.

“Eh, are you sure you didn’t lie on your paperwork about being a sniper?” Konig asked as he stood behind my left shoulder, taking the target from my hands and looking at it closely. “You weren’t even ten yards from it. This is very poor marksmanship.”

I scowled in embarrassment, taking my pistol to the counter and pulling out the mag. “Rough day.” I answered bluntly as I started packing more bullets into the small compartment. It wasn’t a lie – I had barely gotten any sleep the night before. I was in the middle of a rather interesting dream involving me and Ghost, until my alarm woke me up before anything of importance happened.

“Very bad…” he mumbled to himself. I clicked my tongue in annoyance.

“Y’know…” I grumbled, loading the mag back into the gun and shoving it in my holster, “I don’t like stereotyping, but the boot really does fit you.” I walked past him and out into the hallway, not waiting for him to follow.

“Hmm?” he made an indignant noise, momentarily stuck in his spot, before he came jogging after me. “What does that mean? What stereotype?”

I chuckled. “Haven’t you ever how Germans are extremely blunt?” I asked.

“Austrian.” He retorted. “Do I need to brand that onto my face for you?”

“Wouldn’t do me much good, with the mask ‘n all.” I replied.

He laughed – rather snorted, as usual – “Ah, you’re right. Maybe I am blunt – just as much as you are defensive.”

I stopped at the end of the hall, right in front of the exit. “Defe-“ I turned on my heel to scowl at him. “I am not defensive! Where did you get that idea?!”

He stopped behind me, his eyes widening. He gestured an open palm in my direction. “This.”

I huffed, turning back around to punch the door open. The snow from earlier that day had ceased, blanketing the base in a thin layer of white. The moon seemed that much brighter against the crystalized ground, and the yellow lights scattered across the compound made parts of the snow look like sandy dunes. My nose tingled from the nip of the chilly air, and I pulled my jacket tighter around my body as the door fell shut behind me and Konig.

“Well, what am I supposed to say when you call me defensive?”

“You could agree.”

“But I don’t.”

“Which proves my point.”

I huffed in frustration, despite the smirk curling on the edges of my lips. “So, either I have to agree with you, whether I really do or don’t, or you’ve corralled me into a paradox.”

I can practically hear the gears turning in his head. “A what?”

“A paradox, like a – y’know, never mind. It’s too difficult to explain.” I let him fall in step next to me, although he was the one who needed to slow down to match my pace. “We can just agree to disagree, how’s that?”

“Agreed.” He nodded, and I chuckled. “It won’t change the fact that I’m right, you know.” He added.

I bit my lip and tried to keep my smile from growing ridiculously larger. I looked up at him and patted his shoulder – he looked down at me, and the corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled back. A stray, reddish-brown curl poked through the side of his balaclava, and I found the miniscule detail warming my heart through the cold air. He felt real, and in this moment, too human for this kind of life.

“Why did you choose the military?” I asked, turning back to look at the ground as we walked.

He hummed. “Isn’t that every boy’s dream?”

“Well, yes – but most of the time, it never becomes more than that.” I responded.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, mimicking my own position. “I’m not really sure what made me push so much for it. I almost didn’t make it, for obvious reasons.”

I chuckled. “Size does matter, huh?”

He looked down at me with a deadpan gaze, one that I refused to meet. “It almost did, in a bad way. And I almost backed out before they could be the ones to turn me away. But, of course, they knew they would find some use for my size – so they took me in.”

“And what did they do with you?” I asked, looking back at him.

“A ‘human battering ram,’ as my superiors had so nicely called it.” He framed the description with his hands in the air, as if it had been written on a plaque. I laughed and looked back down at my feet.

“Seriously?” I asked. “So they just had you breaking down doors, and then what?”

Konig laughed with me. “Well, I still had a gun, so I was able to shoot, thank goodness. And I had a bit more gear so I wouldn’t break my bones against the doors – I still dislocated my shoulder a few times, however…” he rolled his left shoulder, as if there was still a lingering pain from how often he had thrown himself at doors. “It was actually during a period of recovery when I proved that I could still be a sniper. My shoulder was still healing, so I had to give up being a battering ram for a while. I was sat with Horangi on the side of the mountain to give him cover. Of course, he was ambushed – he had to fight the Arschgiege right when we were given the order to shoot, so I had to take position behind the gun.” I noticed that his chest was puffed out a bit from pride. “That really knocked their pants off.”

I chuckled, choosing to ignore the inaccuracy of his phrase. “Did it now?”

“It did.” He replied, then looked at the ground. “For a moment. I got a good earful for overstepping boundaries that day, but it’s what ultimately landed me here – so I’m grateful for it.”

I nodded and hummed. “What was Horangi picked for?”

Konig shrugged, his hands now back in his pockets. “He never said what he and Commander had spoken about in his office. But, even if he wasn’t chosen – I like to think we come as a package. If I go, he goes, if he doesn’t, I don’t.”

I felt my heart warm at his words. The memory of how Juno had described Konig couldn’t be farther from my mind. It almost felt like I was talking to someone I briefly crossed paths with in my youth – not a war criminal, not the bloody and stiff soldier who had stepped onto the heli after our first mission. I envied his ability to separate his work stress from the time he had in between missions.

“Why did you decide to join?” He asked, catching me off guard.

It was only fair that I opened up to him, since he was so willing to do the same. Always the one to go first, too. But I had to be careful. I didn’t want this to turn into a pity party, and I didn’t want to dig anything up that I had worked so hard to bury deep beneath my subconscious.

“I was… a weird kid. Like you.” I said, making Konig scoff and roll his eyes. “Looking back now, I hate my younger self. I was so sensitive to what people thought about me, and I just wanted to be independent and strong. I wanted to be a ‘different girl.’” I gritted out the words that left a sour taste in my mouth. “I think I just wanted attention at first – of course, when I heard how everyone said they hated how annoying teenage girls were, and how gullible and weak they were, it just – it made me change. I wanted to prove everyone wrong, it wasn’t just about being different anymore. So, as soon as I turned old enough, I enlisted. Didn’t get to Navy SEAL right away, of course… but I joined every program I was allowed in until I could submit my application.”

I sighed, then chuckled. “Thought my family would say they were proud, that I was successful, that I was doing a good job… they were just angry. Said I was throwing my life away for business that didn’t involve our country.” I opened my mouth to say more, but I ended up scoffing and closing it once again. I felt like I had shared enough.

I looked at Konig, expecting him to acknowledge what I said. “That’s how the story goes…” he would say. But, when I met his gaze, I only saw concern. His brow was creased with what I imagined was pity, and my stomach churned. It was the exact opposite of the reaction I had hoped for. I only wanted to share stories with him, and now it was… this.

“I think you made the right choices.” He said, and I looked away.

“You don’t need to make me feel better, Konig. I appreciate it, but-“

“I’m not just trying to make you feel better.” He said, his accent slightly thicker from his exasperation. “You’re good at what you do. Your parents are just probably worried for you, and they don’t know how to show it.”

I bit down on my tongue, my eyes settling on the building in front of us with a hard expression. If only.

“Maybe that’s it.” I muttered, hoping he would drop the subject. He seemed to understand, and turned to look ahead with a disappointed sigh. My heart sank the tiniest bit at the sound, and I internally scolded myself. Still a people-pleaser, apparently.

We continued walking in silence, the buzz of the lights above us mimicking the static of a communication system that had been severed in a time where it was needed most. The edge of the barracks appeared into our view, just around the corner of the arsenal sheds that stood between us and our destination. I continued to stare at the ground, pretending to watch my steps and try to not slip on the snowy asphalt. My heart twisted with each second of silence that sat thickly between us. It wasn’t technically a fight, but somehow, it felt worse. It felt like the first time I had pissed him off, the first time we had spoken to each other – and god, did I already hate myself for the way I had acted towards him during those first few weeks. I didn’t want to drive another wedge between us, not after the ones that had already been worked back out.

I exhaled heavily through my nose. “Sorry.” I mumbled quietly, but loud enough that I knew it reached his ears. “Sensitive topics.”

He flitted his eyes in my direction, but didn’t bother to move his head. He sighed, and I nearly jolted when I felt his wide hand on my upper back. It rubbed back and forth, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that he was comforting me. Or, trying to, at least.

“I know.” He said, and his hand rested on my shoulder. “I’m sorry for pushing you.”

I didn’t know how to respond. I was stuck on the feeling of the roughness of his palm, which I could gleam through the fabric of my jacket. How his fingers squeezed gently and released twice. There was no hidden meaning, no forced contact or any kind of attempt to put context into the touch. It was… natural. Warm, comforting, and it spoke a thousand words that I wouldn’t have been able to stomach if he had said them. It broke past my self-hatred and walls of ‘don’t be weak’ that I would have used as my defense if he had tried to verbally convey any sort of consolation. It was the first time I didn’t feel awkward about being so close to him, let alone when he was touching me. I wondered if he did this on purpose, or if he had no idea what he was doing at all.

I let myself stand nearer to him, almost tucked under his arm. I looked up and smiled as genuinely as I could – not that it was hard for me, but because I wanted to make sure that he really knew how much I appreciated the gesture. Although, if he knew that this simple act of comfort would pierce through my outer shell, was it really necessary?

“Thank you, Konig.” I said.

He looked down at me and smiled. That damn smile. I wondered how much more refreshing it would be when he wasn’t wearing his mask. It was already too much for my soul to bear when it was just the crinkling in his eyes that I could see.

“Anytime, Bonnie.” He replied, patting my shoulder before tucking his hand back into his pocket. I grieved minimally at the loss of the touch, but I was happy for what it was. “And I mean it. Anytime you need to talk – or not talk, and do that empty staring that you do – just come find me.”

I quirked an eyebrow in his direction. “Anytime?” I asked amusedly.

“Mhm!” Konig replied, his eyes on the ground as he watched his steps. Then, the realization hit him, and his eyes went wide with panic. “Oh- well, eh- I guess, not anytime-“

“You gonna tell me when?” I joked, and he laughed. “You need an open/closed sign on your door.” I jogged ahead, trying to reach the door to the barracks before he did.

“How about this?” he called out, and I could hear the grin behind his mask. “I’ll nail a chalkboard to my door, and if I’m busy, I’ll draw a stick guy jerking off in his bed!”

My cheeks burned after I heard him. “No!” I shrieked, laughing nervously. “You’ll traumatize Juno!” I quickly tried to pin this on someone other than me.

“Juno, hah?” Konig teased, and I had half a mind to run into the building and leave him on the quad. “I don’t care about him. Kid needs to be traumatized.”

I laughed and threw my head back, turning the corner around the arsenal shed. “That’s not very-“

Immediately, my heart leapt into my throat, and I gasped. Konig nearly ran into my back as he skidded to a halt.

Sick, sick, what the fuck, I feel sick-

“Stimmt etwas nicht?” he asked, concerned. “What- oh, scheisse-“

We both stared at the bird on the ground. A crow from the looks of it, though it was hard to even decipher that it was a bird in the first place, due to the state it was in. Its belly had been cut open, entrails and bloody bits pulled from the abdomen and strewn to either side of the bird. Its wings were stretched to their full capacity and most likely beyond it, crushed and missing a large number of feathers. Both of the legs appeared to have been ripped off and tossed to the left of the crow. Its beak was the worst of it all: pried open, the jaw probably broken from how wide it was spread. A haunting look of terror in the crow’s red, glossy eyes made a violent shiver run up my spine.

I exhaled shakily, my eyes still glued to the horror. “Holy shit – what the-“

Konig quickly walked around me and knelt in front of the crow. I shifted to look over his shoulder, still fearfully curious, but he held a hand out behind him, urging me to stay in place. With his other hand, he pulled at one of the bird’s wings, stiff and heavy. Whether it was frozen from the cold, or this was the effects from rigor mortis, I couldn’t tell.

“How – did a fucking fox do that?!” I asked. Are there even foxes in this area? How the hell did one get on base?

“Nein.” Konig replied, still looking at the corpse. His gaze fell upon it with a sense of… familiarity, maybe? “Not a fox, no.”

“Then what? It – whatever it was didn’t even eat-“

“I’ll take care of this.” Was all Konig said. He stood up and marched past me – I was barely able to catch a glimpse of his furious expression. His eyes were hard and narrow, and as he walked away, I noticed that his shoulders were tense and his hands were balled into fists. I didn’t dare say anything to him; he almost looked the same way he did after our first mission together, except this time, his anger seemed to be directed at something, instead of just a post-mission adrenaline high.

“I’ll see you later.” He said over his shoulder. There was an obvious fury to his words, and although I knew it wasn’t intended towards me, it still made me freeze where I stood – almost as if I might anger him more simply by taking a step after him.

Whatever it is… I thought, watching him disappear into the compound, he’s sorting it out. I can take care of myself. Although, with such an abrupt and tense departure, I was at a loss on what to do next. I looked back at the bird; its terrified eyes locked onto the sky above it, frozen in its last wish to fly away from whatever horror it endured.

A shiver ran up my spine, prompting me to look away.

- - - -

Taglist: @igotmajordaddyissues @princekonig @vixionix @v3lv3tvampir3 @theoneandonlykymberlee @luvvnightingalee @dillybuggg @sun-joo @perfectus-in-morte @evilive @satakingslime @comfortless

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[gravedigginbbydoll]

pencil shavings and shared smiles {pt.2}

Fem! Teacher Reader x Teacher! Eddie

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AN: I’m honestly so grateful to find people who enjoy my writing :) This started as a bit of fun aside from my current WIP that I’m DETERMINED to not immediately trash, so I wanted to practice some writing on the side, and hey, it’s been a while since I’ve done fanfiction (like, over 6 years…. I think my last fanfic was at age 16! I'm now 23.) so I figured why not? Anyways, I hope you enjoy this next bit (I’ll be honest, I was struggling with it, but the next chapters will be better, I swear!) I don’t have an exact plan for how many parts this will be, but I’m excited to see where it’s headed! 

WARNINGS AND CONTENT:  Minors DNI!!!, Noncanon, Hawkins AU, Normal Hawkins, Rumors about Eddie, Eventual Smut, Very fluffy, Outcasts and Bullying, Mentions of Loneliness, Flirting, Fem!Reader, use of Y/N, older! Eddie, short-haired Eddie, 1995/1996 Hawkins, F! Reader has a dark past, angst.

Summary: You settle into Hawkins, looking for a way to spruce up your place, and bump into a familiar face. You maybe even meet some new friends. Things are looking up. 

The next few days following your encounter with Eddie, you throw yourself into trying to get settled in and getting to know the town. You had been there for a few days before coming to the school but still had boxes piled high and needed some items. 

You focused on moving all the boxes into their designated spaces. But then, you realized you didn’t have much when it came down to it. You had work clothes, plates and bowls, cutlery, basic toiletries, cleaning supplies, and three makeup items. 

In your rush to leave the city, you left so much behind you hadn’t realized. As a result, your apartment looks abandoned in its barren state, and the hideous peeling pink floral wallpaper from the 70s makes your skin crawl. 

That’s what led you to this moment. A shopping spree throughout Hawkins. You’re determined to make the “blink, and you miss it” town feel cozy and like home. It is home now, after all. Though you may need a blanket to cover the ugly cracked green leather couch that came with the place. 

You’re piling up blankets, knick-knacks, and even plants to busy the place. By the time you get to the antique store, you’re sure you’ve burned a hole in your savings. You look around, admiring old furniture with history you wish you knew. You see a large wooden bookshelf, probably older than you, and bite your lip, picturing the perfect reading nook in your large window, a chair with too many pillows, and a table to set your favorite cup of coffee on. You did just buy some new mugs, after all. 

In your daydreaming, you barely notice the presence creeping toward you. 

“As lovely as that little vintage piece is, I heard it’s haunted.” 

You jump a bit, startled by the sudden speaking. When you turn, you feel that familiar creeping of heat across your skin, your stomach twists with nerves while your heart thumps a loud, steady beat. Eddie. He’s wearing a super distressed band shirt with the sleeves cut off, his slightly muscular inked biceps on display. Your thighs tighten at the display, and you mentally scold yourself. 

Now is not the time! Get a hold of yourself.

His brown eyes twinkle with mischief as he tilts his head at you, sticking his thumbs in his jeans pockets. You are instantly reminded of a puppy and feel your insides practically melt. Your heart is thumping embarrassingly loud. You hope to god the cute metalhead in front of you doesn’t somehow have super senses. 

“You redecorating?” 

You shrug, a shy smile gracing your lips. “You could say that, I guess.”

He nods and looks back at the bookcase with intrigue. His expression is thoughtful yet almost solemn as he speaks softly, his words barely reaching you. “Seriously though, that bookcase is bad luck. Belonged to a notorious killer. Henry Creel. Killed his whole family when he was like 9.” 

You feel a chill go up your spine, the sense of fear deep in your belly. But, of course, you knew the old trope of sleepy towns never really being sleepy. Still, the last thing you would’ve guessed to happen in Hawkins was premeditated murder. You peek over at Eddie, who looks at you; his eyes are almost sorrowful as he rubs your shoulder comfortingly. You feel an electric current shoot through you at his touch, and goosebumps shoot up your neck. A flutter in your stomach reminds you that you are far too emotional about this man, despite barely knowing him. 

“Sorry,” He rasps. “I sometimes ramble and forget what I’m saying. I didn’t mean to spook you. It was ages ago. He’s in jail now.” He pulls away his warm touch, and you almost find yourself leaning back for more. 

You shake your head. “It’s fine. Everyone has skeletons in the closet, don’t they?” You remark jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. 

Eddie’s eyes don’t sparkle as they usually do, and he looks a bit more guarded as he smiles softly. “Yeah.” 

You feel a tug at your heart and remember the encounter between the grouchy bookstore owner and Eddie. It’s clear he has a past, but you won’t bring it up. After all, you’re the last person who should be digging through someone’s history. 

“Hey, so a few friends and I are headed to a bar called The Hideout; tonight to bid adieu to summer. I was just wondering…if you’d like to join?” Eddie says shyly, scratching the back of his neck as his cheeks flush. “Of course, I understand if not; I just figured since you’re new here, it may help you get more acclimated and maybe even meet some people-” 

You cut off his rambling with a hand, your lips fighting the urge to smile so vast your jaw may break. “Eddie, I’d love to. What time?” 

He grins, his signature dimples appearing and making your stomach flutter. “Great. Around 7 pm tonight. First drink on me.” 

You feel your cheeks heat once again as you nod, tucking some hair behind your ear. “Can’t wait.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later on in the evening, you are stressed and pacing. You remember dancing and singing to calm anxiety as a young teen and get the bright idea to turn on the radio to your favorite rock station. 

Now, you're dancing around your living room as You Oughta Know by Alanis Morrisette plays on your radio. You’re dressed in a black slip dress, the satin fabric accentuating your figure. Maybe you’re dressed a little too nice for a bar. Who cares? Dr. Martens on your feet create a more casual look but also possibly causes a noise complaint from your neighbors as you stomp and sing, applying makeup. 

“AND I’M HERE! TO REMIND YOU! OF THE MESS YOU LEFT WHEN YOU WENT AWAY!” 

You scream into your hairbrush, jumping around. 

The singing calms your nerves a bit, and by the end of the song, you’re panting and thinking maybe you should try to hit the gym more. 

You glance at the clock and realize the time is flashing a red and angry 7:30 pm. 

“Shit shit shit shit shit!” You scramble, tripping over your feet, quickly putting on earrings and a choker, trying to rush out the door. 

Fucking Alanis Morissette. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You arrive at the bar, hoping to pass off as fashionably late. You look around before spotting Eddie, his back to you in a well-loved leather jacket. He’s at a booth with some friends, a dark stout in his hand. 

You tremble slightly as you walk over, your body thrumming with nervousness, and tap him on the shoulder. He turns, lighting up the minute he sees you. “Hey! You made it! Come on and sit down.” 

You feel embarrassment sink into your skin, hands nervously fiddling as you sit beside him. He introduces the rest of the table, practically making your head spin. There’s Nancy, a petite and beautiful brunette who works as a Chief Editor for the local paper. Steve, a handsome man with an impressive head of hair, works as a coach at Hawkins Middle and High Schools. Robin a talkative and nervous blonde who works as a band teacher at Hawkins High. According to Eddie, this wasn’t everyone in their circle, just the ones he could fit in a booth. You laugh, nerves wracking your stomach as you hope to make a good impression. 

A few minutes in, you’re laughing and practically snorting at a story Steve is telling about Eddie accidentally flashing everyone in a Romeo and Juliet drama production, where he insisted to the drama teacher that they swap the actors and actresses. Eddie had been playing a side character, a plain maiden, when he tripped over his dress and - “Absolutely ate shit! He landed with his head between his legs, and everyone could see his Garfield boxers!” 

You can’t stop laughing at the image of a smaller and younger Eddie, his loud personality causing so much chaos on the stage. You were glad he had gone to buy your drink, seeing as you had laughed so hard you were sure tears had fallen from your eyes. You wiped your eyes and sighed, taking a breath in. 

Eddie returned at that exact moment with your drink, settling it down while playfully glaring at Steve. “Harrington, you better not be talking shit.” 

Steve flicks a paper straw wrapper at Eddie and scoffs. “Can it, Munson. I could kick your ass any day.” 

Eddie immediately leaps into action and pulls Steve into a headlock, tousling his hair while laughing. Steve yells, trying to fight off the taller man and protect his hair. Robin laughs and rolls her eyes while Nancy softly smiles, shaking her head. 

“Knock it off, you two. You’re letting on that you’re both children way too early. I need new friends,” Robin whines, covering her face in embarrassment. 

You feel sheepish, smiling. You’re not used to the attention. Not this much, anyway. But you’re having fun. Eddie’s friends are vibrant, loud, and the most genuine people you’ve ever met. 

Eddie lets Steve go, Steve grumbling about his hair and sitting back next to Robin, who smirks at him while she messes his hair up even more. Eddie then takes his spot next to you, sliding in, and due to the small booth, your thighs touch. You can’t help but feel warmth creeping across your insides from the alcohol and Eddie’s clothed leg pressing against yours, which is bare. You ignore the heat pooling between your thighs at the contact and the ever-so-sinful thoughts about his ringed and masculine hands. 

Eddie leans over to you, his blinding grin causing your stomach to join in on the anatomy shuffle currently happening in your body, fluttering to the point that you think you may have swallowed a bird. 

“Sorry if we’re a bit much. But, now you’ll have a few familiar faces, right?” 

You nod, smiling softly. “Yeah. Thanks, Eddie.” 

He nods, and you almost swear you see his eyes dart toward your lips before he turns back towards the group, all arguing about what the next movie night should be. You feel your heart skip a beat. You can’t help but be grateful for this introduction and even the awkwardness it brought. You now felt a little less of a stranger in Hawkins. A sense of relief rushes through you. Maybe, things won’t have to be so lonely. 

Eddie interrupts your thoughts once more when he leans over towards you. You almost feel drunk on the scent of tobacco, vanilla, rum, and something spicy like cloves and cinnamon. Your thighs tighten, and you curse your brain for instantly thinking dirty thoughts. You’re in no state to have a physical or romantic relationship. Your throat tightens as you push down the ideas and look at Eddie. 

“Hey, so we're goin' to hang out at the Palace Arcade. It’s usually super packed, but tonight they’re having a party there, so no one under 21. You wanna join?” His eyes sparkle with mischief and something you may be misreading as hope. 

You bite your lip, thinking that maybe you’re too deep and should head to the comfort and quiet of home. You haven’t been to an arcade in years. Much less a party. Sour memories threaten to come up, but you push them down and set your resolve. You are just a woman in her mid-twenties trying to have fun. You deserve that, at least. Even if it’s really a lie. 

You smile at Eddie, nodding. “Sure, I’ll tag along. I haven’t been to an arcade in years.” 

Eddie grins, his dimples flashing. “Great. You can meet the band.” 

You perk up, looking at Eddie quizzically. “Band?”

He nods but puts his finger to his lips and winks, signifying it’s a secret. You furrow your brows and feel your stomach flutter as the ever prominent question wracks your brain again. 

Who the hell is this man?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @bebe07011 @corrodedcoffincumslut @kurdtbean @nerdflash

[joycieillustrations]

Hey girl! 😊 I wonder, which fic are you gonna update next? I have enjoyed them very much, haven’t enjoyed a fic like this since The Cavern’s shade (The Silmarillion). Awesome! 🌟

Hello hello! Thank you for your lovely words 🥹

Normally I wouldn’t want to say because my brain can be fickle and decide to lose inspiration, but I can safely say that the next one to be updated will be Office Hours! The most recent update was originally part of a much larger chapter that is now also very close to being finished. Once the chapter hit 11k, I decided it was better to split it, especially as there were two clear halves - I love to write a long chapter, but even I draw the line at anything over 10k 😂

With regards to everything else:

- I have 30k of scenes and ideas for Ad amorem written out, but they are all for much later in the fic, so it’ll be a while before any of that is published. I think I need to sit with the events of season 2 for a bit before I tackle the opening chapters!

- Salt and Smoke is currently on hiatus: as I mentioned in a previous post, I’m considering revisiting the chapters I’ve already published before completing the final chapter (which is mostly written). The opening two chapters are the first thing I ever wrote for HotD and though I’m very proud and fond of them, my writing style has changed a bit since then and I’d love to elaborate on some scenes so the style reads a bit more fluently with Ex libris.

- I have a couple of WIP chapters for Auctores varii but none of them are speaking to me right now, so I don’t know when I’ll be uploading those.

Thank you so much for your ask ❤️

[underthetree845]

ask game

😅✍🛒🛠💖👀🤗

Hello darling! Thank you for the ask (<3)

😅 (What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?)- God, um, I have this one x reader thing I wrote, and it was the very first piece of fanfiction I ever came up with. I wrote it in eighth grade (T-T). It wasn't super terrible and I didn't say "orbs" instead of eyes even once, I just kind of didn't know what I was doing. No planning took place, it was just a little forced, but I'm kind of proud of myself for just getting it out. It was an Armin/fem reader thing where they were going to a party dance thing and there was a confession. Kind of like a less evolved version of my recent masquerade fic, actually. I guess I enjoy writing dancing. I know I was young and everything but I'm so thankful that I hadn't figured out that I could actually post on fanfiction websites yet, I kept writing and thankfully (at least I believe/hope) that I got better. ✍ (Do you have a beta reader?)- I do not. I'm not against it or anything, I just don't. I do have this one friend that I send e v e r y t h i n g I write to though, albeit after it's published because she's not really an experienced writer (not that she's bad, just not the right person to ask for feedback). She's even read that dance fic I mentioned in the previous question.

🛒 (What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.)- Mutual pining is a big one for me 😭. Whether it's friends to lovers (which is what I mostly write), strangers to lovers, enemies, coworkers, etc. etc. there will always be mutual pining at some point. Even if one has had feelings for longer and I depict the growth of the other's feelings (which I find really interesting). Also- random- but I feel like hand holding/focus on hand touches is always a light thing I find myself wanting to incorporate. Not sure why.

🛠 (What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?)- I like to use google docs. It syncs to my phone too so I can write on the way to school or in public if I'm bored, stuff like that. Straight up writing in the tumblr drafts scares me, it's too easy to delete O.o. I oftentimes keep one doc for notes (if it's a longer fic) and write the fic separately. Fun fact though, when I started out, I was actually using the notes app on my phone. That didn't last long, but I still have my first few unpublished 8th grade fics on there.

💖 (What made you start writing?)- Okay so what made me REALIZE that I liked writing was my English classes in school. I've always been a bookworm- ever since I was a little kid- so it was amazing to me that I was able to create stories and show them to people in the same way real authors could. So middle school me loved doing creative writing assignments, I always went way over the wordcount, I loved reading books, etc. etc. Eventually I start getting into fandom, and through internet browsing, I come across fanfiction for the first time. I have to say, it kind of blew my mind. It's hard to explain that I never really stopped reading as much as I did in middle school and elementary school, I just read a lot more ~digital works by unpublished authors~ now (and I still do read books, I'm currently reading Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson and I love it). The rest I kind of already explained. I tried my hand at it for awhile in the notes app, eventually made an account, read, liked, etc., started posting, and the rest is history. :)

👀 (Tell me about an up and coming wip please!)- *Rubs hands together.* Okay, so: First of all, I'm ALMOST, almost I swear! I'm almost done with the next chapter for my ongoing fic. I'll probably post it sometime next weekend (I don't know if you follow it but there's that). I'm currently working on a Dazai oneshot with the pocky game (you know what that is, right?) And then someone sent me a jealous Chuuya request which I plan on completing after my other two wips since they won't take long.

🤗 (What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?)- EEEE! Okay okay!

Dear new writers, WE ARE SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU HERE. Please don't be shy! Reach out, interact, share your work (if you want to) and there will be people who say hello back! Remember, don't compare yourself to other writers. We all started at some point. We all had a first post, we all make mistakes, we're all human. On that note, don't beat yourself up about making it perfect! Getting out a first draft is a great first step. It can include notes, errors, run on sentences, and that's fine because it's a draft! You do not have to be perfect, none of us are. Do not feel bad about not having the time to write, or even if you do have the time but lack the energy. Take care of yourself first always! Remember to have confidence in yourself. You created something that wasn't there before and put it out into the world and it's a story and it's yours and that is amazing in every aspect. Don't give up on yourself, take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and you will slowly but surely find your place in the writers' community! <3

Thank you again for the asks! I hope all of you sleep well tonight. <33

[missgeniality]

Siyaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

Hoe are you doing???!?!!????

I just reread the strip lawyer and omggg your mind!!!!!!! Lemme kisss OMGGGGGGGG LIKE HOW CAN YOU WRITE SOMETHING SO DELICIOUS I CAN DIEE REREADING TAHT FOREVER!!!!!!!!!

On that note can you give me a peak , or perhaps just warning tags, of any of your wips with other sexy ass smut please?????? I just want to know what you're thinking next cause ksurjekssllsworbkeslslslsllslsls every time i read your fics my brain is like omg what was she thinking 🧐😯🧐

Thank you and i really hope you have a blessed day today for making me so giiddy this early in the morning.

P.s. pls tell me where you read manga and watch anime and some spicy and sweet recommendations please.

I love comedy and I have never watched anime. I don't like action though. Just something lighthearted (and a bit raunchy if possible) to keep me entertained hehe.

AAAAHHHHH IVVYYY I can't believe you could reread a fic of mine and still find it enjoyable, that is the biggest compliment, thank you so muuuccchhhh 🥺🥺🥺🥺 <3

WIP... I have only two at the moment... one is stigma... that has been going on for 2 years now (insert a pic of mine completely ashamed of myself) - that doesn't really have much smut, and there is more of a plot in that. Hence, the porn monster in me is having difficulty finishing it ehehehe 🐥 another one is a part of keynote! i have some ideas, im still thinking it through, but THAT will be smut galoorreeee! i want them to try new things, i want hoseok to push his own boundaries along with yn's, so that will be fun to write :3 I'm so happy you're looking forward to them, I will drop snippets when I get time to write them eheheh <3 Thank you so much for making my weekend with your kind wordsss 💓

So manga, I usually use https://mangatoto.net/, I find most of the ones I read over there. Anime I usually just go to Netflix and watch whatever is there, but you can also use gogoanime to watch whatever you want!

Comedy and raunchy... I will drop the manga's I've read recently, they should fit your taste ehehehe they're mostly erotica + cute romcom!

DISCLAIMER: A lot of manga get discontinued often, so I can't guarantee these are all completed!

Oshiete Kudasai Fujishima-san - this is GOOD. Consent is great, the male lead is hot, the sex is actually really good and not the same scene repeated 50 times! But... the female lead... this one comment sums it up:

(Rio being the female lead) But I still recommend it!

2. Hapi Mari - This one is really nice! I like the character dynamics, it is not super explicit but the characters are sketched out pretty well. Slightly dumber female lead, but its not as bad as the previous one!

3. Osananajimi Bartender to Hajimeru Kaikan Lesson - short I think, the art style is not to my liking. But the characters are so nice, and the side characters are sweet! And they have this 'cocktail language' that is very cutely used hehe, good read! And CONSENT!!!

4. Tada no Renai nanka de Kikkonai: Kojirase Joushi to Fetish na Buka (We Can't Do Just Plain Love: She's Got a Fetish, Her Boss Has Low Self-Esteem) - The title is pretty funny lmaoooo and I love this manga the most of them all!! This female lead is TO DIE FOR. The concept of this manga is really fun, so this is honestly such a hidden gem. I highly recommend this.

5. Talk To Me - this is actually a manhwa, so the art style takes some time to get used to. Also a little slow, not much happens each chapter, but its a very cute light-hearted read, smexy smexy though! The 2 couples are written very well, so I am currently enjoying this quite a bit ehehe

As for anime, my recommendation of Kaichou Wa Maid Sama still stands!! It's a good anime, and the manga left me in tears <3 Other than that, here are some of my favs that fit your taste (none of these are erotica like the mangas, but they're still very funny):

The Disastrous Life Of Saiki Kusuo (deadpan humour, love it)

Gintama (this is my fav anime of all time, but it has fighting in it as well)

Great Teacher Onizuka

The Way of the Househusband

Ouran High School Host Club (!!!)

Food Wars (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Monthly Girls' Nozaki Kun (so so cute and funny)

Haven't you heard? I'm Sakamoto

Wotakoi (extremely cute and very light hearted, office romance)

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War (!!!!!)

*deep breath* That is all from me LOOLLL I'm sorry I laid out a huge ass list but I was too excited to talk about my recs. I hope you enjoy them, please tell me what you think of them once you read/watch them!! Thank you once again for sending me this sweet ask <3

[tsaritsa]

tagged by the beautiful and sexy and successful @fullmetalscullyy + @megthemighty. ty babes ur both fergalicious mwah how many works do you have on ao3? 40

what’s your total ao3 word count?  275,381 words

what are your top five fics by kudos?

may i feel, said he

for the serpent has died and i’m leaning by your side

enthrallment

against the run of play

a strange fate with wandering limbs

i’m really proud of each of these pieces for different reasons. mifsh is a love letter to mar and to the fandom generally; ftshdailbys (what a fucking acronym lmao) was one of the first pieces i did with the intention of hitting a specific word count; enthrallment is a reminder to myself that pain does eventually pass (and that riza/bradley is sexy af); atrop definitely helped develop my love for multimedia fics and playing around with how we show information to the reader; and asfwwl was as much a study of riza as the people around her

do you reply to comments, why or why not? absolutely — although i tend to wait for updates to reply to the previous chapters if it’s an ongoing piece. i’m always stunned by the comments i get and i treasure each and every one of them. ty for giving me a little joy in my daily life

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? i guess it depends on ur perspective. a strange fate is essentially dead dove on arrival — and bellyache deals with some unsavoury themes as well

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? prolly that v saccharine valentines day fic. personally it makes me cringe a little now, but if that’s what floats ur boat, then go for it

do you write crossovers? if so, what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written? specific aus are as close as i’ve gotten - the crown!au would be the best fit. the concept of doing a marvel-esque endgame showdown has never really vibed with me; especially for the fma universe, which is incredibly niche and unique in a variety of ways

have you ever received hate on a fic? hahahahahah remember the time when ppl were bitching about mifsh on here bc it was ‘everywhere’ and we were ‘no better than rcyeddies’ with the power imbalance and it was a ‘glorified self-insert fic’ and we were deviants for sharing it and had made the royai fandom ‘cheap’ and ‘an awful place to be’ bc they were so much more than fucking?

yeah me neither lol. i’d also like to state that i’m not bitter about this anymore — but it really did feel awful to read those things, and for ppl to judge us and the substance of the story without ever bothering to talk to us before doing so. i’d like to think the fandom is a kinder space now, where we can just. move on if we don’t enjoy something, instead of sniping about it publicly and deliberately trying to make ppl feel bad

and if u were one of those ppl who were mean: either die mad and jealous lmao OR write something better and more engaging if u want ppl to shut up about may i feel. that’s literally all u have to do 🤷

do you write smut? if so, what kind? i write sexy smut. sometimes it’s an au where they’re in a ballet company. sometimes they’re at university. sometimes i forget to finish them in a timely fashion

have you ever had a fic stolen? not lifted verbatim. but there have been a few times where — and it’s not just my gut feeling, others have brought it to my attention — ideas and phrases align a little too neatly for me to brush it off as mere coincidence. at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter

have you ever had a fic translated? i’ve been very lucky to have a few translated: a few in spanish, russian, and mandarin as well, if memory serves me right

have you ever co-written a fic before? y’all know i have. may i feel and starstruck are the published ones, but maybe more will surface. we’ll see

what’s your all-time favourite ship? royai for sure. they just tickle a very specific part of my brain

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? won’t say i can’t finish any of them bc there’s always the chance i will — just a matter of sitting down and figuring out what needs to happen

what are your writing strengths? this made me pause for a bit bc in truth i’m not terribly sure. i’d like to think my dialogue is strong — not only in terms of characterisation, but in the ability to move the plot forward without having to simply tell the reader what is going on. y’all know i love making things sound pretty as well — assonance my beloved

what are your writing weaknesses? it’s a double-edged sword. as much as i love writing to a particular aesthetic, that definitely hinders me too when i get too involved with the details rather than examining my writing from a birds-eye perspective. i also know i struggle with keeping things simple — from explaining something as just. as it is as well as bigger issues like “let me just tell y’all about the history of the economy of resembool from the years 1872-1911 even though this was meant to be a throwaway sentence″

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i think it can add a ton of depth to a scene — it’s more a case of ensuring that the context around the dialogue can help the reader infer meanings without feeling so unsure they want to go search the translation. for the most part in may i feel, i think readers have been able to understand without too much hassle when a character uses spanish (but also we all know enough rudimentary spanish that it’s not utterly foreign). using a non-latin written language like mandarin or thai would definitely take me out of the fic more — but again, it’s all in how u apply it 

what was the first fandom you wrote for? fruits basket! i never published it tho

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written? currently it’s my piece that will be published for this years fma big bang. i’m really excited to share more about it next month (and publish it on october 3rd!!)

tagging @firewoodfigs, @royai, and @bringingglory if y’all haven’t already gotten around to it

[drivingsideways]

In your experience, how much can a fic really improve after a shitty first draft? I can never just make myself keep writing without editing because I always think: the better the first draft, the better the final product :(

Hi! 

First a disclaimer: I am not the best editor! I hate it! When the first draft is done,  my impulse is to get “rid” of the story as fast as I can; I often feel emotionally done with the fic before I’m actually done with fixing it, even at like, basic proof- reading level. And that’s something I’m trying to fix as a writing process, but I don’t always succeed. The luxury of fanfic writing is that it’s so low stakes that you can do this, and feel only a mild pinch of conscience. 

Anyway, trufax: I don’t have the kind of patience that @rain-hat has for revisions. And I can see the difference in the quality of the fic! So this is why I’m trying to internalize and nurture within myself some discipline and patience.  

So this “first draft only has to exist” rule is really something I currently use when I’m feeling particularly stuck. Which happens a lot, especially when writing long fics, or feeling that my fic is getting out of hand. (As I write this, I’m side-eyeing my current WIP where I really want to write just That One Scene, but I’m finding myself writing 5k words of back story to get there.) 

Anyways!  I think the point of first drafts- they are allowed to be shitty. Second, I don’t think first drafts are actually first drafts in the sense that they’re not just top of the head, no filter brain to paper/ word doc writing! It’s just the first version of the story where it’s completed in the most basic sense, but within it lies many “drafts” that you’ve discarded along the way. 

Ok, so first, the different ways in which first drafts are shitty. There are so many. 

There’s the kind where at some point you realize that ohhh, a key plot point is resting on something totally unworkable/ untenable even within the universe of your fic, forget “real life.”  This is probably something you should fix straight up, as you write, because otherwise you end up with a lot of rewriting and midnight cursing.

Then there’s the kind where  you’ve got midway or even three-fourths through your initial plan, and  it feels patchy and incoherent- maybe you aren’t hitting the right emotional notes in sections or you’ve bogged yourself down in subplots that felt necessary when you started, but now JUST WON’T WRAP UP. This is the kind of thing where I think it’s super useful to remember that you can fix it later. Give the story some time to rest with you, and sometimes, writing ahead actually clarifies what it was that wasn’t working before. Enjoy going down the rabbit hole with whatever silly subplot or character is demanding your attention. Once it’s done, literally cut that section out into another document or something and let it sit there! Then come back. You’re a fic writer! There’s no deadline! Nobody outside of you ever even needs to read these parts where you reveal your obsession with idk, wine prices in 18th century NY, or whatever. It can be fixed!

There’s the kind of shitty where the sentences just sit there like ungainly rocks on a hill and you’re frantically looking up synonyms for “said”. Adjacent is the kind of shitty where you’ve been swinging between tenses like a trapeze artist within the same sentence. This is the kind of thing I’d say you can fix relatively stress free- even if you cringe a lot as you go through the edit. Thank god your English teacher won’t ever see this kind of thing.  I’m REALLY bad at this kind of fixing though, so if I can bamboozle kind souls into beta reading for me, then I do so pretty shamelessly. But wow, it’s amazing just how much, idk, just neat punctuation and fewer adverbs will improve the readability of the fic dramatically.  If you don’t have a beta reader- I think it’s great to take a few days off entirely from the fic, until you’ve more or less forgotten what you wrote. Fresh set of eyes- even your own- can help this part a LOT! 

So the other thing I mentioned- the first draft isn’t actually “first”. 

I’m also a fan of editing as I go along, or going back to a previous section to tweak things. Sometimes I write a chapter, and then wake up the next morning and think, well, that wasn’t great, and I’m not able to move on until I fix it. So then I do that, and the "first draft” version may more or less be this “second” version.  And y’know, I know some fic writers who will draft and redraft each paragraph as they go along because they can’t get to the next section in their heads until they do that. And that’s fine, if that’s working for you! But for me, what happens is that I run out of patience, and then stress myself out, which makes the “imperfect” section have even less of a chance of being fixed. 

So this is where non linear writing helps me, as a trick, to move the story along while also keeping me mentally in a good place re: the story. In my most recent fic, I actually wrote the end and then went back to the beginning. Which was a very, very weird thing to do, even for me--but after the prologue, that I’d written first, I just wasn’t able to make the introductory chapter work. Just staring at blank pages and feeling a rising panic. Because I was in that obsessive stage with the fic, y’know, when you’re thinking about it constantly , but the problem was I wasn’t thinking about the chapter I was supposed to write, it was the chapter I wanted to write. So that’s what I did! 

 And I think this trick works if your story isn’t very plot heavy; or it is, but you do have a good and detailed plot outline done. That way, you don’t mess up too much in terms of continuity and so on.  Sometimes I find that just making chapter headings clear my head out A LOT. Also then I can do the - ok, you have 3 chapters to go ONLY. (Lies, this will become 5, but still.) Anyway, having some kind of progress bar does help a lot! 

Ok, this is extremely long and somewhat rambly. I hope it’s encouraging! 

Last thing: it’s fine if you trash the first draft and start all over. (Ok, don’t REALLY trash it, keep it there. You’ll find some of it would be useful!)  Anyways, lots of pro authors say that their first draft and the final version are completely different- so you know, sometimes that does happen. Maybe the right thing to do IS trash it, and approach the story or the characters from a different perspective. It’ll be hard to do, and you need to allow yourself space and time to mourn the bits you’re trashing (the grief is REAL!) but at the end of the day, you’ll free yourself to write the better version of the story! 

Ok, really shutting up now. :D

Take care and best of luck with your writing projects!

[jadeile-writes]

Fanfic Progress Update 144

Hello, blog and maybe some people and people-adjacents too. No spoilery glimpses into any fic(s) at the end, cause I don’t have anything that’ll be posted anytime soon. Eventually, tho.

Current WIPs:

Rolling with it

Fandom: Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Summary (temporary): Link finds out that Revali doesn’t understand sign language, so he decides to get through a conversation by miming and showing emotions, just this once. Turns out Revali is (somewhat) less of an asshole once he understands the reason behind Link’s quietness. Link/Revali.

Progress: Chapters 1-3 have been edited and are ready. Chapter four is about halfway done, which isn’t that different from last week, cause I just really didn’t feel like writing today. I did some editing, which increased the word count a little bit, but failed to actually write more. Not the story’s fault, I’m still looking forward to writing it, but today was just really ehhhh mehhh ughh when it came to writing, so I gave myself the permission to just not this time.

—–

Hah! Our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: This is not a stand-alone story! This is a oneshot/drabble collection in the universe as “Shit, the Radio Demon is a part of my afterlife”. Read the main story before bothering with this one.

I decided to give my readers a chance to throw Radiohusk prompts at me, and had the Afterlife-verse as an option to set the stories in. Everyone liked that, so this fic is now a thing. Enjoy the extra mischief from these two dorks!

Progress: Chapter 28 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 27th of November 2020. Chapter 29 is technically written, but I’ll need to look it over to see if I want to tweak it before I can call it done, cause I remember being unsatisfied. The scheduled posting date is Some Friday, and there will be a sneak-peek on the Previous Thursday. Chapter 30 is half-done as well and is basically the only actual thing holding this fic back. … -sobs in bad author-

Note to new people who might be looking at this: I’m not taking prompts anymore. These will be the last chapters, and then the fic will be done.

—–  

Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to someday:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

A bunch of Hazbin oneshots and chapter fics, some started, some just on the idea phase. There’s… there’s a lot…

—–

That’s it for the WIPs! Here’s a space that’ll eventually have sneak-peeks for future fanfics and/or chapters again, once I have something to show.

—–

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!

Links:

My AO3   My FFnet   My Ko-fi    Radiohusk Discord Server

[mego42]

I 100% agree about wanting more fanfic lists! I honestly think it's the best way to get a variety. Everybody has personal preferences, if someone, who mostly reads long, fluffy au Brio fic, is making recs, they're not likely to mention short, angsty, canon Brio (which is understandable and fair!) so ideally someone else, who does like those, would also do recs. I'm pretty sure I've read or at least tried the vast majority of Brio fics, but the recs often make me re-read the fic and author.

YAAASSSS!!! I mean like, okay, I v much get why people have issues with rec lists, and I def do not by any stretch endorse the idea that recs/rec lists should be considered anything other than one person sharing a think they liked, but to me a lot of the issues (the same fics/authors getting recced, feeling like awesome fics/authors are going unrecognized) can be solved by more reccing, not less. everyone’s got different taste and different stuff they look/read for and I am extremely pro sharing that.

Idk, I think about it like this: in a previous internet life I was a YA book blogger and I lived and died by recs from other bloggers whose taste and preferences I knew. I mean, you know, I’d check out a book bc the premise sounded interesting but literally the first thing I would do was go to Goodreads and look for a handful of people who tended to like the same books I did and see what they were saying about it bc that was the best way to get a good idea of if I wanted to give it a shot. Or, on the flip side, there were some people whose reviews I followed bc I knew we v much did not read for the same things so if they hated a book for X, Y and Z reasons, I was probs going to like it (one thing about book blogging is if you want to keep current, you do not have a lot of time to mess around, snap judgements are key but that’s a whole other thing and idk if it’s even relevant anymore bc that landscape has changed so much). 

ANYWAY, the point is, I got in the habit and now I do the same thing with fic bc, tbh, I don’t have a ton of time to read, esp not when I’m actively writing which, with the exception of the last week or two, I’ve been doing p non-stop since I got here. All of which to say is, I am desperately in favor of fic recs for purely selfish reasons, I need them! Give them to me!!! Please!!!!!

That said, I uh, am v bad at returning the favor and I recognize that (I think I’ve made what? two rec lists for this fandom?) so I will try to do better to live by my own, idek what this is, moving on and here are 10 recs not really thematically linked by anything other than I’ve read them and loved them and don’t think I’ve put any of them on one of my rec lists yet (and if I have, my blog is a trainwreck I cannot be expected to remember what’s on it LET ME LIVE):

The Goodest Boy by EnsignDisaster

There’s a key turning in the lock and Buddy rushes over to greet his Master excited for her to meet his new friends. The door opens and he dances around Master’s feet rejoicing on the fact that she’s made it home. It's been literally forever.

“Hey Buddy what’s wrong? Need to go potty? Need to pee-pee?”

“Nah he’s good we took him out.”

Master does something very unMasterlike, she drops all the food she’d brought in on the ground and screams. It’s a non traditional avant garde type of hello…Buddy loves it. Mostly because while Master taps furiously on her small light box and sits tense in the corner opposite his new friend Buddy can lick up the egg smashed on the hardwood floor.

Buddy! The! Dog! POV! no further explanation necessary. Technically WIP, but it covers the whole pilot in a way that could be read as standalone (THOUGH THAT WOULD V MUCH GIVE ME A SAD though, when did the show forget the Bolands had a dog? so maybe that’s a tragic casualty of canon, idk)

May The Moon’s Silvery Beams by @pynkhues

Emma hums in agreement, and Rio turns her around to sit her on the counter, grabbing one of the older looking boxes of muesli while she kicks her legs out, heels bumping back against the counter, watching him. He gropes around the inside of the box, finally just opting to pull the plastic cereal bag out and peering inside. He can’t quite keep the grin off his face when he sees the wad of cash lining the bottom. This woman kills him, she really does.

Then there’s a little face peering up beside him, trying to peek into the box.

“What is it?” she asks, and he tilts the box sideways so she can see inside.

The upside to not getting here until s3 is that old fic is new to me! Huzzah!! Idk how many of y’all have already read this on but if you haven’t I highkey recommend. Extremely cute take on what if Emma woke up when Rio and came by to collect his/Beth’s/whoever's money during the shutdown. Cannot believe I’m reccing kidfic. Witchcraft!!!!!!

Maybe You’re My Fantasy by ohmisterjapan

He fucking loves the involuntary. It speaks to how he likes to unlock chaos and walk away. He's been called a control freak before and it felt like such a misunderstanding of him - he's all about self control but he doesn't want to control others. It's more that he enjoys revealing to them how little they can control themselves. It's more that he likes to stand still in the eye of someone else's storm and pick coldly through the wreckage.

Another oldie but a goodie. This fic is more like an extended character study (first chapter Rio POV, second chapter Beth) and I LIVE FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT. I really really really love the take on both characters, it really digs in and pulls out some nuances that made me sit and think about my own read of them and I love it.

A Shock Of Blue by mintletters16

“You don’t look very well. Would you… like me to get you a glass of water or something?”

Her voice is low but smooth, laced with a softness that cuts straight though to his core. Strawberry blonde locks fall gently just above the pair of magnets freezing him in place.

He can still feel the chaos tearing through his veins - emanating from the gold plated gun stuffed in his waistband - and suddenly he can’t be here anymore. Can’t meet this wide-eyed gaze that’s been locked on his for the past God-knows-how-long anymore.

Can’t see blue alive and concerned when he just left it cold and void somewhere in oblivion.

She’s looking at him like he’s on the brink of madness. He thinks maybe he is.

Apparently, it’s backlist rec day over here and I’m not sorry. This one is another technical WIP but the chapter works as a standalone (BUT if the author decided to return to it I WOULD NOT BE MAD). It’s a what if Beth and Rio met pre-canon and it works so!!! well!!!! The tension and fascination and build are all *chef’s kiss* plus the writing is gorgeous and lyrical and ugh, I love it.

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

“We got stuff,” Rio motions with a nod to the backpack Beth hadn’t noticed when they arrived hanging on the back of one of the chairs at the island.

She swallows and turns back to the dishes, realizing Rio apparently means to sleep there , assuming the place isn’t bugged.  Or for some kind of cover story if it is.  She turns and fixes Rio with a narrow-eyed stare, studying his face, the corner of his jaw especially prominent from the angle she’s looking up at him.  He’s methodical about drying each dish and setting it back on the rack, maddeningly ignoring her hard stare, so when he goes to take the next plate from her hands she grips it tightly and gets his attention.

“Hey.”

“What you on about now?” he asks, irritated.

It gets her gut uneasy, how he’s just . . . there, settling in, in ways he never had before, no matter how nonchalantly he would let himself in through her locked doors.  

“This is,” Beth tries, failing, to find words for it, “. . . it’s weird .”

This one takes place post 204 and Rio and Marcus end up spending a long weekend staying with Beth and Emma for reasons (that work, for the record, I’m just not trying to summarize rn) and it’s domestic and cute but honestly my fav part of it is how weirded out Beth is by how easily they slip into sync. The story does an excellent job balancing where they are in canon (uneasy post-sex truce) with a snapshot of what they could be if they got over themselves (HA! as if) and Beth is DEEPLY FREAKED which makes her slow slide into realizing she could maybe sort of kind of oh shit like it/him??? that much more satisfying.

Not So Careful by @bensonstablers

When he doesn’t answer, her eyes go to his but he’s too busy watching the letter opener which is still pressed against the back of his hand. Curiously, Beth runs it up his arm, careful not to press too hard, and smiles a little as he shivers. Pulling her leg up onto the bed, she shuffles closer to him before pressing the tip of the sword to his chest and slowly circling his left nipple with it, being sure not to get too close.

“You ain’t gotta be that careful.”

And when she lifts her eyes to meet his, he’s got that look. The one that always makes a lump form in her throat and for her to fall back into bed with him without a single thought of what they have to do that day. Only thing is, this time they’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the weekend and well, staying in bed the entire time had seemed like an appealing idea so she allows herself to give in a little to that look.

It makes me EXTREMELY SAD that knifeplay ranked so low on the kink survey so I’m gonna need y’all to check out this V V V EXCELLENT example of it and come back and tell me you’re sorry and you voted wrong. I am v reasonable what are you talking about.

love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) by @lilliloves

"You know what I can't stand?" Rio asks, stepping closer. It's a rhetorical question but he pauses for a second and watches Dean sniff, watches a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead, watches him shift on both his feet as he contemplates making a run for it.

"A guy who don’t realize how good he's got it." Rio continues, looking Dean up and down in disgust. "A guy that will literally fuck up a good thing just to get his dick wet."

"Yeah, well I can't stand a guy who can have anyone he wants but chooses the married woman he's not entitled to.” Dean shoots back. "And I really can't stand the fact that you're always in the room with us even when you aren't there."

And who brings him into the room Dean hmmmmm????? Jk, jk (or am I). In this one Rio catches Dean out on the town with another woman (bc of course he is) and tries to call him out but whoops! gets called out himself. I really love the like, idk, undercurrent of wistful regret in this fic. I love Dean straight up calling Rio out on his feelings (spoilers but there’s an exchange right after this one that made me straight up holler), and, you know, obvs I am here for Rio making Dean feel like an ass. 

Hell Is Other People by makemanybraver

Rio: We're in Hell, Elizabeth! If you don't think you belong here, then repent! Don't fuck everyone in the room in hopes that you get to go out!

Beth: Why do I have to repent?!

Rio: Because you did some fucked up shit in your life, Elizabeth! You keep doing fucked up shit here, too! And you think you don't belong here!

Beth [screaming at the top of her lungs]: Because I don't!

This fic is existentially bonkers and I love it. It’s the kind of experimental format/homage/what have you kind of thing that I L O V E. Based on No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre, Beth, Rio, and Fitzpatrick are stuck together in a room in hell for all eternity. What more do you need, honestly.

Working On Things by odenkirk

Unknown Hold up, Elizabeth. I'm really thinkin about you here.

Beth turned her face into the pillow, effectively suffocating herself for a moment, but thinking it was a good trade off for the way the cool silk of her pillowcase chilled her skin.

She lifted her head to glance at the still sleeping Dean before replying.

Beth I'm thinking about you too. But this can't happen.

She wanted him to know she wanted him, but she also thought that admitting she was already there would save Rio from trying to convince her. She wanted him, but morals had to win just once in a while.

YES this is technically Beth/Dean while also being Beth/Rio BUT it’s also sort of Rio/Dean and I am HERE FOR THE DIVERSITY OF SHIPPING leave me alone who asked you.

Five Times He Knew What She Was Thinking, and One Time He Didn't by JoeyLee

Aight, so tell ‘em I was hittin’ it. Said deliberately blunt, eyes locked on her face the whole time, just to see those blue eyes widen. She looked so shocked that he almost laughed, so he softened it teasingly just to keep her going. Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, tell ‘em we were makin’ love.

Then he just watched her, just watched her face, just fucking fascinated. Her lips were parted and her eyes were big as saucers, and…there it was. Before she could look away flustered, he watched the thought go through her mind. Him and her together.

He wondered what she was picturing or where. Them in the back seat, her bed, a motel?  Her on top or him from behind or his face between her legs?

Whatever it was, the blush started immediately, and he watched it bloom out from her cheeks to her hair. Then she was tearing her eyes away to gulp a little.  But it didn’t knock her down for long before she was looking back. And then, wait, was she actually asking him how to go about telling a fed they were fucking?

Okay this is another technical WIP but works as a standalone. I am absolutely fucking feral for character POV takes of canon scenes and this is a supremely excellent take on Rio POV of some notable scenes from the pilot through 204. Imo it brilliantly captures Rio’s voice and I love it a lot. 

HEADS UP I am absolute shite at tracking ao3 to tumblr unless people have specifically told me someone’s ao3/tumblr name SO if you recognize any of the non-tumblr authors on please lmk so I can tag them and YES I recognize that I am asking y’all to do things for me throughout this entire post and I’M SORRY OKAY I’M A WHOLE ASS MESS LOVE YOU BYE

[bella-caecilia]

🖊💖⏰📚 for the fanfic ask <3 xx

🖊 - Post a snippet from a current WIP:

Lessons to Learn: "Sybil stretched her neck to see if the motion behind the front garden’s rhododendrons was maybe Rose. As the flaxen shock of hair appeared in the driveway Sybil swung her legs from the window seat without averting her eyes from the arriving girl. Rose was dressed nicely. She wore the light pink skirt she had bought when Sybil and Rosamund had gone to the shopping centre with her. It had been funny for Sybil to watch Rose enjoying the trip and the attention from the two older women. Usually, Sybil was the youngest, and it was Mama and aunt Rosamund to fuss over her. Now she could fuss over Rose, and Sybil thoroughly enjoyed it."

Colour drabble: "For a moment it seemed to Robert as if Cora didn’t belong in the setting around her. Her sparkling gown reflected the lights from the chandeliers and highlighted her porcelain taint. Her mind was far away, her expression one of tranquil absence. Only her celestial appearance was placed in the room."

💖 - What do you like most about your own writing?

I don't really know, that's kinda hard to answer. I like my own work (otherwise I wouldn't upload any of it), I like that it's rather easily approachable (I hope) without only being superficial I guess. I sometimes like my dialogue but I think I'm often even more comfortable with the descriptions of people and their behaviour. And I hope that I manage to build nice story arcs :)

⏰ - Do you spend more time reading fic, writing fic, or do you do both equally?

I write more fic than I read. I really enjoy both but since I started writing fics this definitely takes up the major part of my "fandom time".

📚 - Do you read your own fic?

To be honest, I don't read it much. I'd like to read it more but any mistakes I notice in hindsight used to bother me greatly, so there was often this inhibition to read my own work xD But it's getting better now. I read excerpts of the previous chapters of my multi-chaptered works while writing the next chapter but I rarely read my own fic just for fun. I always tell myself I'll do it later...

[writingbeary]

writer ask game !! tagged by @starlightjoong ​ thanks for the tag sol!  ♡

tagging @shinescape ​  ♡ ♡

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

I will still write for them if I get an idea. I used to write for 2NE1, SNSD, 4Minute, Big Bang, 2pm, MBLAQ, B2ST/Beast/Highlight, SHINee, Super Junior, etc. lol I’ve been a multi ever since I got into K-pop

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

Currently I have published stories for ATEEZ, BtoB, iKON, SF9, Super Junior. If counting the characters in my ATEEZ AU then Kingdom: Legendary War groups and many others that may get mentioned through the run lol

3. how long have you been writing?

Counting only from this blog then I published my first one last 1st of April 2021

If we’re including my previous attempts from AFF then I think it’s 2010? I am not sure lol but I did abandon writing after a year or so and only got back this April haha!

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

For now, I have this writing Tumblr.

5. what is your favorite genre to write?

I wouldn’t necessarily say favorite but I mostly write romance with..a hint of fluff, I guess?

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

It depends! If you’re asking for the oneshots, then I am a pantser haha! But for the ATEEZ AU then it’s a combination lol I have “prompts” for each post that I’ll do in the future but they’re also not hard-mapped that I need to post this one first before the other.

But I might be a planner, should I venture into a chapter-ed fic.

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

Originally, I wrote multi-chapter fics haha! Back when I was still a hardcore K-pop fan. But I am leaning towards one shots or those fics that can stand-alone but could also work as a multi-chapter lol

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

Depends on the topic/genre. I like drabbles because they don’t drag the topic but I also enjoy a good 5k+ word count every now and then. For my ATEEZ AU, I usually strive and cut off the posts as soon as they reach 3k words and 7k respectively. For my other published ones, I have them averaging around 300 words I think lol

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

Are we counting the ATEEZ AU? If yes, then definitely that one. lol Just one “episode” of Kingdom takes a lot of words (though repetitive at most) haha!

If just the oneshots then, Welcome Back published at around 1k words lol

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

I am enjoying my ATEEZ AU journey with Minyoung!

As for the oneshots, I loved writing Leeteuk’s Welcome Back

11. favourite request you have written and why(if any)?

I have yet to receive a request for a stand-alone story (not that I can actually write another one as I’m preoccupied with Minyoung lol) But as for request, there was one for a Hello82 episode for Minyoung! The One Chip Challenge and it’s such a ride to write lol

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

fluff, endearing terms, and nicknames haha! Or maybe a constant ship hint for Minyoung!

13. current number of wips(works in progress)?

Oh. Do I have to count? haha! Official count (those saved in my drafts) I have 7 haha! But for the prompt ideas then..let’s not count lol

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing.

un-proof read work? yeah haha! I have to go back and edit everything. I also notice some words disappearing from when I paste it from my notes, save the draft, and actually post it. 

Oh and severe lack of vocabulary and messy flow I guess lol

15. a quote you like from a published story.

“See? Everyone wants you in the group. You’re worried and sorry about making mistakes? That’s normal! We’re just human after all.” - Wooyoung (From A Promise - ATEEZ 9th Member AU Minyoung)

16. a quote from an unpublished story.

“I’ve always been afraid of taking that one step. I didn’t want to risk what I already have, risk the comfort I am currently enjoying. But I would always wonder, if that one step is all it takes for me to achieve what I want then maybe..just maybe it’s worth the risk.” 

17. space for you to say something to your readers

Hello! It’s Mimi  ♡ First of all, thank you for reading my works! I love each and everyone of you but I have to give special recognition to the people who give me a huge push to continue this hobby! Your support (through notes and asks) have continuously brought a huge smile on my face and warmth in my heart. I enjoy interacting with everyone and I hope we get more comfortable in interacting with one another. 

Next, I’d like to wish everyone a ray of happiness! haha We may not know each other personally but please take my well wishes and thanks for existing in my (digital) life! I would also like to take this time to share, my go-to quote as told by my old sensei, to everyone who comes across this : 

「 何事も経験だからね。 」 which translates as “Everything is an experience.”

You’re doing great! It can get tough at times but as long as we can take even a single step, that single step is still progress towards somewhere.

[mrdrzezstchkowitzatyourservice]

Uneven numbers for the writer ask :)

1: Do I listen to music when I write?: Yes! Nothing put me in the mood like a good symphony or railroad song

3: Computer or pen and paper?: It depends. Computer for bigger projects, but most of the time, I prefer a good notebook

5: How much writing do I do on an average day?: 1500 words on a good day, most of the time I do about 500-1000 words daily

7: Standalone or series?: Sometimes standalone, sometimes series. If it's a short story, I'm more likely to do a sequel. But standalones are better imo

9: Current WIP: I'm writing a novel! It's a large project, (with my ocs in it) so I often take time to work on smaller works.

11: Books and/or authors that influence me the most: Clive Cussler! My father introduced me to his books a while back, and I love their writing style!

13: Describe my writing process from idea to polished: Oh boy. Usually, I'll get an idea, and I'll write it down along with all the details/characters that come to me in the moment. Next, I formulate a plot by coming up with important plot points and building around them. I don't map everything out, so somethings just come to me as I write. One thing though, that I always map out is the story's ending, so that I know hat will happen and can tie everything up better. After the first draft is done, I look over it for spelling/grammar mistakes, fix plot holes, etc. Then after that, I make sure that it's formatted correctly. After that, I'm done!

15: How do I deal with writer's block?: I let the work sit for a bit, and then come back to it later with a renewed vision. Sometime's I'll brainstorm new plot points or details.

17: What writing habits/rituals do I have?: Every day, when I sit down to write, I always get a piece of chocolate, and a nice cup of tea, and i have my notebook ready

19: How do I keep myself motivated?: "This is some seriously wacky shit, but someone will want to read it."

21: Who is/are my favorite characters to write?: Dee Havermeyer and Pavlov Livitchsky are my favorite characters to write! I also quite enjoy writing Reginald and Charles

23: Favorite author?: Clive Cussler will always be one of my most favorite authors. He created some an wide (and very interesting) array or characters! I am also a huge fan of Jules Verne His stories are so creative and adventurous!

25: Favorite part of writing: The freedom it grants!

27: Favorite line/scene: "I'll shoot a man for money, but I'll meddle around in his business for free" said by one of my villains, Charles Bixby

29: Favorite villain: shgllhflfhgdsljjklhdgskj can't believe I have to choose a favorite villain. The villains are always one of the most important parts of my stories. It's tough but I'd have to say either Mattias Calvin (corrupt law) or Charles Bixby (Disney villain on steroids)

31: Least favorite part of writing: When I'm on a roll and suddenly I hit a brick wall, like I don't know where to go next. It's the worst.

33: Ever killed a main character?: Yes. :( It hurts. It most often happens in the historical fiction that I write.

35: What scene/story do I least look forward to writing: warning: spoilers. I might get my novel published one day (that's the end goal) but at the end Dee has to watch his father die and turns his friend over to the corrupt law because he deems that friend responsible. Even though Dee isn't a real person, it just hurts me to have to put him through such trauma like that. :(

37: First sentence of your current WIP: "Well Reggie? What'd you find?" God I love these two

39: Weirdest character concept I've had: Goodness, let me think on that! I'd say Pavlov Livitchsky. Ukrainian farmer who's also a secret agent? Who would think of it!

41: Any advice for new/beginning writers?: Writing can be frustrating sometimes. This scene doesn't work, your characters aren't doing what they're supposed to, it all happens! Always make sure to look back into previous chapters to fix things up, or to find something that you want to reference again. Researching and worldbuilding is important, but don't spend too much time infodumping!

43: What to do if/when your characters don't follow the outline: it happens often. Sometimes I make improvements to my characters so they fit better, or I don't have an outline at all and just go with the flow :)

45: How much worldbuilding do I do?: Depends on the situation. If it's historical fiction, not much is needed. If it's an alt-history/fantasy/sci-fi, than much more is needed.

47: Best way to procrastinate: "I have written exactly one (1) good sentence today, and that's good enough."

49: What character would I most like to be friends with, if they were real?: Dee :)

[mamahanu]

fanfic tag game

I was tagged by @dragonnan. Thanks, friend! I love these!

Questions:

Ao3 Name: HanukoYoukai

Fandoms: ~long inhale~ Well... I’ve been writing for a while. A long while. So... I’m just gonna follow dragonnan’s example. Bear with me. 

Currently writing fic for (that are posted/going to be posted):

Final Fantasy

MCU

Captain America

Spider-Man

Deadpool

Avatar: the Last Airbender

Currently finished and recently posted (yes... there are WIPs for these fandoms, and yes, I’m still working on them):

Dragon Prince

Merlin

Wrote fics years ago (and I may still revisit the fandom):

Glee (on FFN)

Harry Potter

Wrote 1 or 2 fics but won’t write more:

Diabolo

Weiss Kreuz

Fruits Basket (deleted... it was bad. I’m not sorry it’s gone)

Wolf’s Rain (see above)

Haven’t published any fics yet but have (or had) ideas ~cracks knuckles~:

Doctor Who 

The Legend of Zelda

How to Train Your Dragon

FireFly

Split/Glass (crossover idea... it’s outlined...)

Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn

The Flash

DC

All up and coming plans are subject to change depending on my whims as a creator. ;-)

Number of fics: I’m only going to count the fics that are currently posted between Ao3 and FFN. 

Spider-Man/MCU/Captain America/Deadpool: 16 (this includes the crossover with Final Fantasy)

Dragon Prince: 1

Merlin: 4

Harry Potter: 1

Glee: 2

Diabolo: 2

Weiss Kreuz: 1

Total: 27

1. Fic you spent the most time on: Omertà hands down. Wow that fic... I mean, just posting it took 10 months. And I started writing it way before I posted the first chapter so, I think I spent about a year and some change on it. 

2. Fic you spent the least time on: So This is Christmas. I was a pinch hitter for an Irondad Secret Santa. I got this one written in a few hours due to the deadline. 

3. Longest Fic: Again, Omertà. The final word count on this bad boy is 154,668. 30 chapters. It was supposed to be 10 chapters and about 50,000 words. That did NOT happen. 

4. Shortest Fic:  I Like Oatmeal. The word count is 652 and it is easily the shortest thing I’ve ever written so far. This was just a fun little crack fic that broke me into the Merlin fandom. 

5. Most hits: In all honesty, this is a very difficult one to answer because as far as I can tell, FFN does not record hits very well. My two highest fics for Ao3 are  Omertà with 8008 to date, and You are in Control, I Disappear with 5450 to date (but it’s porn, so surprise, surprise.) On FFN, the fic with the highest hits (if I did my month-by-month math right) is The Trouble with Gossip (using the Ao3 link) with 6102 hits to date .

6. Most kudos:  Omertà again. Really, y’all should read it. It’s pretty good. ;-)

7. Most comment threads/ reviews: Want to guess? You got it! It’s Omertà! You all are so smart. :-)

8. Fave Fic you wrote: What? These are my babies. These are my blood, sweat, and tears. You want me to pick a favorite? You’re crazy. 

...

No, seriously, that’s a really hard question. I love them all and for very different reasons. So I’ll pick one that I haven’t mentioned yet. I’ll say Bear the Burden of Responsibility, which was the fic that broke me into the MCU/Spider-Man fandom (I’d been reading for forever, but this was the first one I wrote). It also was my intro to Irondad and Spiderson, which has been SO fun to write, and the community has been fantastic to be part of, in my opinion. 

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: Hmm. Well, I’m already expanding on it, just slowly. I have a series called Take My Heart With You which is kind of an alternate reality/alternate universe series for Merlin. It mainly focuses on the gap between seasons 3 and 4, and events in season 4, but there is a relationship between Merlin and Percival that I’m playing around with. I also am touching on the friendship Merlin has with Gwen, so there may be elements from previous seasons added soon. I actually really enjoy that one, but I’ve lacked inspiration for it, so I haven’t been writing much in this universe lately. 

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning: How about both?

Love Runs Deeper than Blood

***SPOILERS! FOR MY READERS WHO WANT TO WAIT UNTIL I POST, SCROLL UNTIL YOU SEE THE NEXT BOLD TEXT!***

“Tarkik.”

“No.”

“Koko.”

“Hmm, maybe.”

“Nanouk?”

Kyra laughed, bouncing the baby boy on her knee. “You have great love for that name,” she said, grinning. Bato shrugged, wiggling his fingers at the boy and making him giggle.

When he brought the child to Kyra, she broke down in tears before immediately thanking the Great Spirits. She fell in love with his soft hair and golden eyes, and she held him like she could never let him go. Bato understood. He was like that with the boy the whole journey back.

“It’s a good, strong, water tribe name,” Bato defended, grinning. “What about Toklo? For your father?”

“My brother was named for my father already,” Kyra replied. “Maybe Tonraq?”

Bato made a face. “No,” he replied, shaking his head.

“Why not?”

“When I went Ice Dodging, the boy manning the main sail was named Tonraq. He’s the reason I have a scar on my boat,” Bato said, darkly. Kyra laughed.

“Well, there’s always Soomool,” she offered. Bato shrugged. They had been going over names for two days now. Even Kya and Hakoda offered input, with baby Sokka in tow. The new boy was fascinated with the chief’s son. Bato hoped they would become good friends. Kyra handed the boy to him and he lifted him up so their noses could touch. The boy went a little cross-eyed, making Bato laugh.

“You know what his eyes remind me of?” he asked Kyra.

“The sun?” she asked, grinning.

Bato shook his head. “No. Well, yes, I suppose. But they look like the sky during a storm, when lightning strikes.”

“You mean when the sky turns to gold for a moment?” Kyra asked, thoughtfully. Bato nodded. Kyra hummed in thought.

“What about Kallik?”

*** OKAY ALL CLEAR***

Story Idea - Spider-Man Villain/Anti-Hero AU:

Plot: What if Peter stopped the convenience store thief instead of letting him run away? Uncle Ben is still alive, and that major guilt he felt that acted as a catalyst for him to become Spider-Man and look out for the little guy isn’t there anymore. Instead Spidey is a wrestler, then a “hero” who asks for donations to his paypal, and then a mercenary. All his bad guys are now neutral contacts, and he frequently teams up with DP, Moon Knight, and Black Cat (among others), working for cold, hard cash. He drives Iron Man crazy, he baffles Captain America, and Black Widow has a soft spot for him (because she gets that double life). 

It’ll be fun when I get to writing it. I’ve got some semblance of an outline. ;-)

Tagged: I’ll tag @silentsaebyeok, @reachingforaspark, @blondsak, @jro616 and @kitcat992, as well as anyone else who wants to play. And if I tagged you and you don’t, no pressure! <3

[grisdidthis]

CHAPTER ONE: FIRST SIGHT

AKA, blessed fucknuggets, why do these fools feel the need to put themselves through high school, my sources tell me that the US school system isn’t all that to begin with, what gives?

PREVIOUS ENTRIES

(Warning: this got long. Looooong. Hence, cut, so that I don’t murder your dash like Edward doesn’t murder Bella in this chapter.)

Welcome to the first entry of a live-read that no one asked for, in which I’ll go through the first chapter of Midnight Sun, i.e. a retelling of the first Twilight book from Edward Cullen’s POV. Not to be confused with Grey, a retelling of the first volume of a Twilight fanfic with the serial numbers filed off, or the Life and Death edition, a retelling of the first Twilight book in which Bella Swan is genderbent into a dude called Beau, who utters the immortal line “I knew I must look like a gorilla on a greyhound.” Which still tickles my humerus to this day.

I’ve waited for this novel to drop so long that at some point I’d stopped waiting. If by some freaky turn of chance you stumbled on this without knowing about the hoopla surrounding the publication, here’s a Wikipedia link. The gist is that the first few chapters of the WIP got leaked, the author got upset, the book got shelved until ??? and no further information about it was forthcoming until a while ago, when out of the blue arrive the news that it’s getting released in August.

My first thought was “Oh, yay, something actually NICE is happening this year!”

My second thought was “Please let it be good, so that I can laugh outrageously at [name redacted] for mocking my enjoyment of this series!” And. Look. I know what’s said about Twilight with regards to its literary merit and Stephenie Meyer’s abilities as a writer. A lot of it is admittedly accurate. However, the metrics by which I measure the value of a book are a) did it entertain me? and b) did I gain anything by having read it? And yeah, those are personal and subjective items, but objectivity is a lie, Jesus enjoys using toasters to take selfies, and if ten years ago I hadn’t been looking for a place to post my 50k+ epic Renesmee-centric fanfic, I wouldn’t have met the people who are currently my best friends.

Which is to say: I’m too attached to this series to give a fig what color the prose is. Deal.

And yet. Me hoping that Midnight Sun would be good, in a way that people who don’t have my level of emotional investment might acknowledge, wasn’t… that farfetched?  Because the last book Meyer released before this one, The Chemist? Is an improvement on all her previous work. A huge improvement! It’s competently written! The characters read like they were intended to be flawed, messy people.

The main romance isn’t the kind of fucked up that Bella and Edward’s is, where you can pen treatises on why they’re omg so unhealthy. It’s the kind of fucked up where five seconds after meeting her love interest, the protagonist drugs him unconscious, kidnaps him, sticks a urinary catheter up his ding dong, straps him to a table and tortures him for information until the guy’s ex-CIA identical twin drops a plane on the barn they’re in and crashes through the ceiling all “HANDS OFF MY BABY BROTHER YOU DISCOUNT MATA HARI!”

Then they all make friends and go on a road trip together because a shady government organization is after them.

That’s not a fucked-up relationship that you write an essay analyzing the fucked-up-ness of. It’s something you stare at, stunned and, if you’re me, torn between thinking “Holy shit, this is so my brand of heroine!!!” and “How much crack was Auntie Steph on when she wrote this?” And it’s beautiful. I want ten more like it. So my hopes for Midnight Sun are tempered by the knowledge that, being a retelling of an established narrative, it can’t go all-out with the batshit. But I’m still optimistic that some part of it will give me that warm “Awww, you’ve come a long way from where we first met, author! Good on you!” feeling.

Now let’s (finally!) get started on the chapter proper.

…oh wait there’s an author’s note.

…uhm. Yeah. My dreams. About those. *fixed stare at faraway bonfire* Actually, let’s not talk about those and just move on to Edward Not Liking High School, thank you. Yeah. That’s good.

Edward Cullen doesn’t like high school. Edward doesn’t like that people think. Edward doesn’t like that the human student body is beside itself with the arrival of some new chick. Edward thinks his adopted siblings are super basic. (Rosalie = shallow, Emmett = simple, Jasper = psycho two seconds away from jumping off his chair and going on a rampage.) We don’t get to hear his utterly unbiased assessment of Alice, because she butts in and starts a one-sided telepathic convo about how Jasper is two seconds away from jumping off his chair and going on a rampage. You know. Normal sibling stuff.

WHY DO YOU PUT YOURSELF THROUGH THIS HASSLE, WHY!

(Let me take this opportunity to share my pet crack theory that Carlisle Cullen is secretly the most twisted, evil vampire in all of vampiredom, and that the sending the young ones to high school bit is something he does solely because he gets his evil fix by feasting on the emotional toil it inflicts on them. Also why he’s a doctor; he can ignore the call of blood, because being surrounded by the pain of patients and their loved ones already keeps him fed. I mean. He was chilling with the Volturi way back when, and Aro gives off a handsy vibe. No way he didn’t get his mind read in every which way, and if that happened - if he were reaaaalllyyyyy that nice, why would he still ping them as a threat of any kind?)

(This has holes in it, I know. And clashes with my other pet crack theory, which posits that the whole immortal child/Let’s Catch Them All: Cullen Edition was in fact the fallout of a Very Bad Italian Breakup, with Aro being the pissy ex who wants sole custody of the kids.)

Whatever. It still makes more sense than them going through “the inert state between active periods” when. My dudes! College is right there. Some places you can even sit out 90% of lectures and still get your diploma if you don’t feel like faking one, so Jasper would be all set! And you can pick different subjects! Diversify! Why must it always be med school rehashes, there are other worthy professions! And whole fields that are useless for getting-a-job purposes, but still interesting and enriching for those who have the luxury to pursue them. Let Emmett do Viking Studies, for fuck’s sake!

This amuses me much more than it rightfully should. I’m a child.

The Cullen clan tries to pep talk Jasper into not getting his murder on. Jasper is like OMG WILL YOU GUYS LAY OFF, while Edward is busy doing his judgy Edward thing and thinking to himself that Jasper should accept his limitations, that it’s a bad idea to have him at school at all, blah blah bleh, and you know what, I’m with you there, Ed.

Although we all know that this is just setup for the irony that will ensue as soon as Bella the Delicious klutzes her way into his line of smell.

Oh yah! Enter Bella. Edward can’t hear her thoughts. Jessica Stanley is a b-word. Edward wonders whether not being able to butt into the new girl’s head may be a red flag for vampire Alzheimer. Biology class next! The teacher is a man “of no more than average intellect” and, lord. It’s lucky that Edward is the mind reader in the family, because imagine if it were one of the others and they had to put up with listening to him bitch about the world at large, nonstop, at all hours of the day. And night, since these guys don’t sleep. Angela Webber is the only soul in the whole school whose thoughts have the Edward Cullen seal of approval. I feel sorry for her. I also feel this weird sense of hey, this all seems familiar in senses other than being a retelling, have I been here before?

Wait.

WAAAIIIIIITEEEEE.

*googles for the old version*

*runs first chapters through copyleaks*

*kubrick stare* MEYER, YOU LAZY SO AND SO, HOW COULD YOU!

*slams head on desk*

Well. At least I know what I’m in for. HONESTLY! It’s been. It’s been THIS MANY YEARS since the leaked version appeared, and that was a first draft, how in the… she’s way better than this, now! Was this novel produced in a terminal state of $#%CARING#NOT?&FOUND?! Is half of it just going to be the same old thing with a thin veneer of polish? I’m.

*sigh* You know what, I’m okay. We’re just going to call this first part a re-read. It’s been ten years, so I remember not a whole lot of the specifics, so at least I won’t be bored. BUT COME CHAPTER 13 I EXPECT TO BE SWEPT OFF MY FEET, DO YOU HEAR ME?!

Biology. Bella walks in right past a fan and gives Edward a throbbing throat boner. How awkward. Then she goes and sits right next to him and saucily tosses her hair around like he’s not actively plotting her murder and that of the rest of the class. The cheek of the thing!

Fortunately, Bella’s tasty ass is momentarily saved by a stiff breeze.

…I think we may have found the solution to Jasper’s control issues. The Cullens just need to start carrying air freshener around and spray the murder out of him every time he starts looking peckish. It would look weird if anyone else did it, but since they’re all pretty and rich, it’s more likely that the trend will catch on and cause Febreze sales to skyrocket.

Anyway. We’re not done victim-blaming Bella for…

…at least another couple of pages, but at least Edward gets his head out of his ass long enough to recall that hey, vampire! Oxygen is optional! But he still spends another lot of words grumbling about what a hassle it is to be forced to hold his breath in order to dampen his murderous urges. This is why you are a virgin, Edward. No, I don’t mean the planning the assassination a classmate’s assassination, plenty of serial killers still manage to get laid heaps, consensually, even! It’s the fact that you’re this much of a buzzkill that’s the issue.

Live, laugh, love, you dumbass disco ball!

Yep, he’s still on about how he’s going to kill her, totes kill her, he feral dangerous vampire, rawr. The miracle of adequate indoor airflow only got him to railroad a quartet of brain cells into thinking up smarter ways of snuffing Bella out. Now he wants to lure her to the forest. No, he’s going to kill her at home! He hates her! No, he hates himself and is projecting!

So he flees to his car, plays some calming music, breathes in and out and thinks about his family and how disappointed they’d be in him if he were to help himself to a Swan shake. Well, I’m nobody to shit talk anyone’s self-soothing routine. I’d probably throw in a truck of food + a bath, but he’s had 100+ years to figure out what coping mechanisms work for him, so let’s just let him do his-

Edward.

EDWARD.

…do you actually think this is an appropriate time to start a ginger-off with some random desk lady? Yes, we know you’re the One True Redhead To Rule Them All. (Though Kvothe from Name of the Wind may beg to differ, and I don’t know who would win that fight.) I mean, really? You pull this crap when you just barely talked yourself out of a murder? And then you call her eyes flat! What!

One of my favorite comic book series, Y the Last Man, features a scene where two characters discuss what it is that truly binds people together. One of them presents the argument that stronger bonds are formed not by shared love, but by shared hates. By which they mean not a kiss-kiss-slap-slap, enemies-to-lovers relationship dynamic, but like… you, being someone who really hates coleslaw, having a partner who likewise hates coleslaw, with whom you can indulge in tireless verbal roastings of coleslaw and who will never get tired of your complaining, because the fire of their loathing burns every bit as hot as yours.

I’ve always felt that this concept resonated with me deeply. And if you apply it to Bella and Edward, by its standards, they have the real deal. Go through the namesake chapter in Twilight-the-book, and you find Bella thinking similarly judgy thoughts, being irked by the same shit that no one normal would bat an eye to, going “Ugh!” and “Gah!” at everything that makes Edward wince internally. So their love will be eternal for sure. Perhaps not in an epic way. They’ll live boringly ever after, until they’re ancient and onion-skinned and lurking at passerby humans through the geraniums on their windowsill, exchanging “Holy crow, I can’t believe she bought a hydrogen engine car just to show off!” / “Awful! She should know that thinning the deer population so that they produce less flatulence is the most sound way of controlling toxic emissions!” And then probably gazing at one another like idiots for an ice age or two.

Edward wants to be moved out of Biology class. Goes back and forth with the desk lady, who obviously wants to tap that, because of course she does. Every hot-blooded woman within spitting distance must crave his alluring icicle, even as he mentally eviscerates every minuscule detail of their appearance.

Except Bella, because she’s soft, translucent, deep-eyed and edible. And, I mean. You can complain all you want about “you’re different from anyone else I’ve ever met, you’re SPECIAL, better, more beautiful, more everything!” being a dead horse of a trope so old and beaten that by all rights it should have turned to smelly glue, but. That pony is still kicking. And by kicking, I mean selling. And it sells because being made to feel special, even if it’s happening by proxy while you’re immersed into the thoughts of a fictional character, is nice. Readers enjoying that experience and seeking out fiction that provides it shouldn’t be considered so… mock-worthy as I’ve seen it be, in discussion of works that feature the trope prominently.

Which doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be nicer if Edward’s narration were focused solely on elevating Bella, instead of also viciously kicking down everyone in the vicinity. Man, we get the message, okay? You don’t need to act like you’ve swallowed a Simon Cowell before coming in for school.

I swear, it’s almost a relief when Bella interrupts, heralding the triumphant return of the throat boner. Edward’s thoughts about the people around him are actually LESS gratuitously bitchy when he’s contemplating how to best murder them.

At least this time he is able to extract himself from the situation and flee speedily. (Which… in Biology, what exactly was preventing him from asking for a bathroom break? Or just saying he was feeling poorly and getting the fuck out of there?)

He meets the sibs. Only Alice has any clue of what is going on because visions, and she doesn’t explain anything to the others, who just stand there baffled while Edward decides to get his shiny ass in his shiny Volvo and run off to Alaska. Probably because it would ruin the serious mood of the scene if she told them and Jasper started doing happy cartwheels at the prospect of no longer being the only fuckup in the family.

END CHAPTER. Same time tomorrow, hopefully, and I’ll TRY to be less longwinded. Try. 

[takaraphoenix]

1, 6, 15, 17, 23, 41 aand 44 please

Thanks for playing! <3

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

The first I got involved in? Not wrote, but just... involved. Mh. It’s gotta be One Piece, that’s where I discovered fanart and fanfiction for the first time. First fic I ever read was some self-insert love-triangle between a Mary-Sue and Luffy and Ace and I absolutely loved it because the mere fact that here, for free, I just got to read about my favorite characters and my favorite anime was absolutely mindblowing.

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Holy effing shit this one alone will take A LONG TIME. Okay. Cutting this short to actually involved in, as in I actively read or wrote in that fandom, not every time a ship caught my fancy. And only one OTP per fandom, the top OTP.

Also, alphabetical order.

Ace of Diamond: Miyuki Kazuya/Sawamura Eijun

Arrowverse: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart/Barry Allen

Avatar - Legend of Korra: Iroh II/Bolin (I never really got into TLA when it came to fanfiction)

Ben 10: Rook Blonko/Ben Tennyson (HIGHLY UNTERRATED SHIP!)

Beyblade: Yuriy Iwanov/Rei Kon (my second-ever fandom where I actually got active as a writer! ;^;)

Card Captor Sakura: Spinel Sun/Keroberos

Charmed: Cole Turner/Phoebe Halliwell

Chicago Fire: Kelly Severide/Matt Casey

Danny Phantom: Danny Phantom/Danny Fenton (...and here, you can see exhibit A as to how I got into selfcest)

Death Note: Yagami Light/L

Descendants: Prince Pen/Carlos de Vil

Detective Conan: Kuroba Kaito/Kudou Shinichi

Digimon: Motomiya Daisuke/Takaishi Takeru

Dragon Prince: Soren/Callum

Entourage: Ariel Gold/Eric Murphy

Eureka: Nathan Stark/Jack Carter

Fairy Tail: Loke/Lucy Heartfilia (it’s my OTP, but it’s not the ship I was reading xD)

Fast and the Furious: Dominic Toretto/Brian O’Conner

Free!: Yamazaki Sousuke/Nanase Haruka

Glee: David Karofsky/Kurt Hummel/Noah Puckerman

Grimm: Eddie Monroe/Nick Burckhardt

Haikyuu!!: Kozume Kenma/Hinata Shouyou

Harry Potter: Fred & George Weasley/Harry Potter

Heroes: Gabriel Gray/Peter Petrelli

Hetalia Axis Powers: France/Germany

Hunger Games: Cato/Peeta Mellark

Imposters: Richard Evans/Ezra Bloom

Inuyasha: Kouga/Inuyasha

Jungle Book: Shere Khan/Bagheera

How to Train Your Dragon/Rise of the Guardians: Hiccup Haddock/Jack Frost

Killjoys: Prima Dezz/Johnny Jaqobis

Kim Possible: Shego/Kim Possible

Kingdom Hearts: Axel/Sora

Kuroko no Basuke: Takao Kazunari/Kuroko Tetsuya

Lord of the Rings: Gimli/Legolas

Lucifer: Mazikeen Smith/Chloe Decker

MacGyver: Jack Dalton/Angus MacGyver

Magi Legend of the Labyrinth: Sinbad/Alibaba Saluja

Marvel: it’s a tie between Loki/Tony Stark and Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Maze Runner: Newt/Thomas

Merlin: Gwaine/Merlin

Miraculous Ladybug: Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Adrien Agreste

Musketeers: Porthos/Athos/Aramis/D’Artagnan

One Piece: Trafalgar Law/Monkey D. Luffy

Percy Jackson: Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson

Pitch Perfect: Kommissar/Beca Mitchell

Prince of Stride: Suwa Reiji/Fujiwara Takeru

Psych; Carlton Lassiter/Shawn Spencer

Ranma 1/2: Ryoga Hibiki/Ranma Saotome

Riverdale: Jughead Jones/Archie Andrews

Road to El Dorado: Tulio/Miguel

Royal Pains: Boris Küster von Jürgens-Ratenicz/Henry Lawson

Sailor Moon: Kou Seiya/Tsukino Usagi tied with Tenoh Haruka/Tsukino Usagi

Scrubs: Percival Cox/JD Dorian

Shadowhunters: Magnus Bane/Jace Herondale

Sky High: Warren Peace/Will Stronghold

Sleeping Beauty: Maleficent/Aurora

Smallville: Oliver Queen/Clark Kent

Teen Wolf: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Transformers: Ironhide/William Lennox/Sam Witwicky

Trollhunters: Draal/Jim Lake

Twilight: Edward Cullen/Jacob Black

Vampire Academy: Mason Ashford/Christian Ozera

Voltron: Takashi Shirogane/Keith Kogane/Lance McClain

Wicked: Elphaba Thropp/Glinda of the Arduennas

Young Justice: Roy Harper/Dick Grayson

Yu-Gi-Oh!: Kaiba Seto/Jonouchi Katsuya (the first ever ship I wrote for!!!)

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

I mean. 75% of the ships I love are “obscure”. I... I always find the very obvious mainstream ships... boring. I mean, sometimes I find them nice in canon, but mostly I find canon to provide enough about them that I don’t really need fandom to get more of it, you know? Or, which also often happens, I find the mainstream ships have more of a very strong friendship-dynamic, or even a sibling-dynamic in some cases, and I just can’t really find it in myself to want to see them in a romantic way.

So, if I have to pick an, as in one, obscure ship, I will have to go with my top OTP. Jagnus. Jace and Magnus literally lived together, in both the show-canon and the book-canon, yet somehow it is an “obscure” ship. I mean, not somehow, we all know why. It’s the unwritten fandom rule of “canon mlm shall NEVER EVER BE BROKEN UP HOW DARE YOU SHIP ONE WITH SOMEONE ELSE”. You have no idea how often that rule has come between me and my OTP. Basically every time there is a canon mlm ship, really.

And this in no way or shape means to criticize those who only ship canon and are content with it, you do you, but I do find the lack of creativity in shipping in fandom where there is a canon mlm ship... really damn boring. Fandoms without canon mlm representation have the wildest constellations of ships, have a far broader variety of content, but when there is canon mlm, the majority of a fandom tends to just happily sit down with it and hug it and prefer not to be creative with the content and the shipping. And as a certified multishipper, I don’t really get that - like, even if you like the canon, you could have multiple ships?

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

My first OTP was Shere Khan/Bagheera, because gods do I love Jungle Cubs. And while other ships I interact more with have pushed it off the throne, if I see any form of Sheregheera content, I am immediately sucked in, no questions asked, no hesitation. I am utterly in love with this very rare, small, very obscure actually, ship and I will always love it and it still is one of my favorites.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Ooof. Interesting one. I’ve done a variety of PJO fics I’m particularly fond of in previous versions of such a question, so let’s go with something else this time. “The Lost Soulmarks”. It’s, at this point, probably my own personal most reread story. I just reread it the other night, actually. It just - it hits all of the right spots in what I want from a fic. Very often, I write to please my readers, with “What do my followers like most?” in my mind at least to a certain degree, but some things are absolutely self-indulgent. And I should really write more absolutely self-indulgent fics because those are the ones I myself keep coming back to. It has ABO-verse, it has soulmates, it’s Jace-centric, with lots of love, misunderstandings but not the kind where one of them is to blame but rather where it’s due to the circumstances, it’s really emotionally painful, but pays off in the end. It’s... seriously those are all the things I love.

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

Uuuhm so like five WIPs where I am desperately waiting for updates?

Shadowhunters, Jagnus: “Non-Fat Frappuccino With Extra Whipped Cream” by @kimmycup - it’s my top OTP and my best friend gave it to me but now she is slowly murdering me with the wait for part 2

Shadowhunters, Jimon: “Strings” by annhamilton - I looove this story, only recently discovered it and fell in love with it and am now not-quite-patiently waiting for the next chapter

Avengers, WinterIron: “(Iron Is A) Star Killer” by RayShippouUchiha - a fic I read... a while ago and recently rediscovered with the latest update and am now desperately waiting for more!

Avengers, WinterIron: “An Unempty Nest” by gryvon - same as the one above, I read this a while ago and forgot about it and recently rediscovered it for myself and still love it

Avengers, Steve/Bucky/Tony/Tony: “Second Chance (at happiness)” by SailorChibi - I got this fic recommended and devoured it in one sitting and have since then checked nearly daily for updates because I greatly enjoy it!

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

*bangs potts and pans together* JAGNUS JAGNUS JAGNUS SERIOUSLY THEY LIVED TOGETHER. THEY LITERALLY WERE ROOMMATES. IN ANY OTHER FANDOM THAT’D HAVE TAKEN OFF LIKE NOTHING ELSE. THE PARALLELS BETWEEN THEM!! LET. MY. GOLDEN. EYED. BOYS. FIND. HAPPINESS. IN. EACH. OTHER.

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