#when I started this blog I did not expect to be talking about Optimus Prime’s Eyebrows as much as I have

[macadam]

Hey random question and you can completely ignore this if you want because it seems like people may have given you problems for it hhhhhh

But could you elaborate on the TFP Optimus baby face thing? It’s one of my pet peeves when a serious character gets turned into a baby uwu character. I am trying to teach myself draw the TFP cast though, so I want to avoid giving OP a baby face at all costs but I don’t really know what it looks like

Sure! I won’t use any actual examples because I don’t want people to think I’m shitting on their art, so I’ll try my best to draw two sketches for comparison

As you can see there are some key differences. The space between the helmet/eyebrows/eyes is a big one, but there are some other mistakes that are often made that make Optimus look way younger. Drawing the jaw further from the audial disk, or rounding out the helmet along the forehead are common mistakes as well. Smaller eyebrows, bigger eyes, and a smaller neck are designs that I notice a lot of newer artists tend to lean toward because it usually makes characters look prettier and more elegant, but it does come with the side effect of a younger and more feminine appearance (the uwu effect, if you will) which isn’t true to optimus’ design.

Hope this was helpful

[robotorion]

I posted 6,638 times in 2022

7 posts created (0%)

6,631 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@agatharights

@taffybuns

@bleekay

@apocalypse-angel

@firebunnylover

I tagged 1,062 of my posts in 2022

#transformers - 339 posts

#tfp - 142 posts

#star wars - 83 posts

#optimus - 58 posts

#stranger things - 57 posts

#starscream - 55 posts

#venom - 40 posts

#moon knight - 39 posts

#megatron - 38 posts

#the clone wars - 37 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#so my hyper fixated younger self thought we’d get out sooner by shining our flashlights to the sky to summon the autobots for help

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I heard the phrase “little baby short man” on MST3K a while back and I need other people to know about it

2 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

#4

Gotta love finding out the queen died through the destiel meme 🙃

2 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

#3

It’s appropriate that the rise of the beasts trailer would drop while I’m working on my own transformers trailer 🤘🏼

3 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

#2

I’ve had some drinks so I’m back on my “SPN characters like the same stuff I like” bullshit (so let’s get into it)

Dean talks about having Scooby and the gang on tv no matter where they went, but it’s more than likely that there was another show he could rely on as well in the 80s; something that would’ve come out just after Mary’s death; something that would most definitely appeal to his interests…

TRANSFORMERS - robots in disguise

Dean obviously likes cars, and since he thinks of baby like a fifth member of the family, I think he would be intrigued seeing cars that actually do come to life. He doesn’t watch the show a lot, but he catches it when he can, and the thing that really keeps him coming back is Optimus Prime — the bot that every kid saw as a second father. Strong, brave, compassionate, funny; all the things that would’ve reminded him of his own father (or how his father used to be — ‘how he should be’ a part of him thinks).

Unsurprisingly, Bobby’s the one who notices Dean’s love for the show. He might try to get him one of the toys if he can, or show him cars in the salvage yard that resemble some of the characters, but the biggest thing would be taking him and Sam to see the movie in theatres in ‘86, an experience that would unfortunately be more traumatic than fun. Most of the original cast is killed off, including Optimus, and Hot Rod becomes Rodimus Prime, who essentially has to pick up where OP left off in the fight against evil (Dean isn’t sure why he thinks about it like that, and he refuses to spend any time unpacking that line of thinking, but it nonetheles makes him uncomfortable)

Dean appreciates what Bobby did for them, but he kinda stops watching the show after that. He may stick around if one of his favourite episode is rerunning, but he will not watch season 3, and all but refuses to talk about the show when anyone (mostly Sam) asks.

Once gets older he starts making small references again. He’s even been found humming or whistling the show’s theme song by himself, and has most definitely made the transforming sound while working on baby (carefully making sure no one’s there to catch it). Funnily enough he has no problem checking out the Michael Bay movies when they come out. He doesn’t expect them to be like the original (he doesn’t even expect them to be “good” so to speak), but if he can enjoy a few hours and a few beers while watching them, then they’ve passed in his eyes (this is the same man who willingly watched speed 2 for the same reason i think)

It isn’t until Jack comes along (and Cas comes back of course) that he really tries returning to the franchise. After Jack finishes off clone wars by himself, he looks for something new, and after hearing Dean make some allusion to it, he looks up Transformers. There are so many different iterations though that he isn’t actually sure where to start, but there is one that he notices has a similar art style (in that it’s 3D) that also came out around the same time as clone wars.

So Jack decides to start watching Transformers Prime (and when he learns that one of the kids is also named Jack, he knows he made the right choice)

Dean is walking by his room one day and only has to hear Optimus’s voice for a second to realize who it is. He walks in and let’s Jack explain the show to him (since he never really kept up with any other iterations of it), trying not to chuckle at his enthusiasm. But when Jack asks if he wants to stay and watch with him, he makes up an excuse to leave. It confuses Jack, because he seems more nervous than negative with his response. So he decides to ask Cas about it, assuming that he will know (which he does because “raised from perdition” and all that). Cas doesn’t explain exactly why Dean acts so weird about Transformers now, but does try to make Jack feel better by saying that “you can never truly fall out of love with something that meant so much to you,” and agreeing to watch the show with him instead.

So they set up a screening in the dean-cave. When Sam comes around he decides to watch with them as well. It isn’t too much later when Dean makes it to the room, thinking it was jusst a normal movie night. He hesitates when asked to stay, but figures it would raise more questions if he didn’t, so he sits down and starts scrolling through his phone. As the episodes go on, Sam watches as his brother starts paying more and more attention to them, even cracking a smile every so often. By the time they stop for the night, Dean is visibly more comfortable, and actually stays up with Jack to talk about the original show and the movies.

I have more ideas on how Dean would react to certain episodes of tfp and other iterations in the franchise as a whole, but I think the big thing with tfp for him would be seeing Optimus less in relation to his father, and more relative to himself (especially after the Orion Pax arc -- being forced into a leadership role he wasn’t necesarily wanting to be in, having to look out for everyone else more than himself, not really being able to display your emotions as authentically as they’re felt -- lots of angst). It would be a lot to process, but he’s happy to do it if it means enjoying something he once loved all over again, and getting to share it with his favourite people in the world

3 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

what if we took dean’s iconic hot dog pants and replaced them with the bob’s burgers pants I saw at walmart

3 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[thanksjro]

Zero Point, a Last Stand of the Wreckers prose story- I Sure Hope You Like Eye Imagery

Ooh, an artsy start to our prose this go around.

This story takes place after the events of Last Stand of the Wreckers, with our dear friend Springer well into his Overlord-induced coma.

Roadbuster is a gentle soul, when he’s not busy ripping people’s spines out.

Roadbuster’s been put in charge of the Debris station since Springer’s out of commission. It’s boring. He’s bored. He has a routine he follows, but there’s only so much grave-visiting/security-checking/weapon-building/eyeball-cleaning a guy can do within a 120 hour day before it becomes less of a routine and more of a compulsive habit.

Springer’s eyes are a specific shade of blue known as Matrix Blue- supposedly a marker for being Matrix Compatible. Considering that Senator Shockwave had to go and get multiple guys some nonconsensual plastic surgery to make sure they could actually fit the Matrix, I’m going to go ahead and say that that’s some bunk someone made up to hype up the mysticism of Primehood.

Springer’s obviously in a bad way, and it’s not looking like things are going to get any better. You can tell, because this is the point where his internal monologue kicks in, reflecting on just what it’s like to die, and his past. Sure hope they don’t have any vats filled with corrodia gravis on this space station.

Back before the war was The War, Springer was young and naive, but his boobs were just as awesome as they are now.

Springer became slightly disenchanted as his time on the front lines went on, thinking that he needed to do more to help the Autobot Cause. He decided he wanted to join the Wreckers, though he knew next to nothing about them at the time, and everything that he’d heard probably should have sent him running in the opposite direction. Decepticons caught by Impactor and friends would kill themselves in the middle of the street if they managed to escape.

But we’re dealing with a mind that’s been shaped by a civil war, now aren’t we? Impressions are warped for Autobots, because Decepticons are evil, and therefore they deserve that sort of thing, now don’t they? Nobody is immune to propaganda.

Springer first met Impactor at Sherma Bridge, where he saw him punch through a ship’s windshield, spear the driver’s head with his drill-hand, and then land the thing in front of a memorial statue. Gee, what a guy.

Springer, even though he’d seen all this and was feeling a little wary about this whole situation- which is a very valid reaction to witnessing a murder, no matter who’s been killed- decides to get put on the list of reservists for the Wreckers.

It’s amazing they even bother with Rung at all, isn’t it?

Springer’s interview is a violent one, because this is the Wreckers, and we don’t ever go half-mast on anything- Impactor falls out of the fucking sky in the middle of a huge battle and tells Springer that he’ll be coming with him. And that was that.

Oh hey, it’s the IDW2 eating chairs. And hello, Kaput, it’s nice to see you again.

Kaput’s diagnosis is as bleak as it is cryptic- Springer’s probably for sure going to die. Kaput seems to only exist to tell people they’re dying or dead, unless they’re the once and future Optimus Prime.

Kup’s pretty bummed out about this whole thing, pacing like a 1950’s father in the birth and delivery waiting room. Kaput doesn’t seem to notice, or is too lost the the medical sauce to realize that him going on about how they fixed that weird humming noise Springer’s legs used to make is making folks anxious.

Roadbuster asks just what exactly’s wrong, if they fixed everything from his ripped-off face to his weird humming legs. Kaput doesn’t like confrontation, so he blathers on for a bit before admitting that they haven’t found the zero point.

Roberts, how many times are you going to do this to Kup? First Rodimus, now Springer- did Kup bully you in primary school? I’m starting to get concerned.

That was six months ago, and while Roadbuster had been polite about it at the time, all the nothing that’s happened since has made him feel a little less kindly toward Kaput.

Okay, who’s ready to find out why doctors and mechanics aren’t the same thing on Cybertron? Because I sure am!

So they have to account for the soul, is what you’re saying. Is this about having some sort of bedside manner, because the mental aspect of healing has to be taken into account? Or is it more to do with the bizarre implications of the soul being physical as opposed to metaphysical, and therefore capable of being destroyed? The ethical conundrum that the spark presents is fascinating.

If a break happens between these two nerves, it can cause the energy of the spark to be redirected away from the points it’s meant to go, like a heart with a hole in it. Yes, the blood is still inside the body, but it’s not inside the veins and is therefore useless, and in fact is directly harming the body.

Roadbuster, after reflecting on the grim reality Springer is currently living, breaks out Wreckers: Declassified. This isn’t reading for personal enjoyment or ego-stroking however- Roadbuster actually greatly dislikes reading about himself in Fisitron’s datalogs. No, this is more of a last-ditch effort to save Springer’s life.

Roadbuster learned to read to act on a theory brought up by Rung- he and Kup are friends, on account of both of them being very old- that the spark is psychosomatic in nature. It can be influenced by intense emotional responses to potentially heal the physical self. They’re willing to try this, because nobody really knows how exactly a spark works, so Rung’s guess is as good as any.

Story time for the evening picks up on a chapter in a story called “The Wreckers’ Air Attack”, getting right into where Megatron’s about to shoot Impactor in the back of the head. But not without pontificating first.

This is so over the top, so romantic- and I’m talking Romantic as in the literary style. I don’t even know what to say here. Luckily Impactor does.

Fisitron may not know what this whole scene is about, but we as the reader do. The hardcover trade edition of Last Stand was published roughly a six months after “Chaos Theory”, where we got THIS exchange:

If this is what Megatron’s poetry is like, it’s no wonder Impactor isn’t a fan. Purple prose out the wazoo, incredibly flowery imagery- I’m sure there’s an audience for all that, but I doubt Impactor’s a part of that crowd.

Megatron is distracted just long enough for Springer to descend upon him on the sky sled, like a murderous Santa Claus, jumping off so the sled can slam into Megatron and send him careening down the side of the mountain.

That’s taken care of. What next?

It’s at this point that Roadbuster checks what chapter they’re on, because he’s really not the biggest fan of Fisitron’s writing style. Guess he isn’t one for fanfiction, or adverbs. Turns out, each of these datalogs are less blog posts and more fully-fledged books. Every single one of them.

Roadbuster’s feeling kind of hopeless at this point, and it’s not hard to understand why; there hasn’t been any sort of response from Springer at all in all the months he’s been reading to him.

He considers the contents of the only datalog he hasn’t cracked open yet, outright skipping over it every time- #113, the one about Pova. He doesn’t ever read it because it’s full of false information, as was made very clear in Last Stand #5.

Springer joined the 17th iteration of the Wreckers, after a hazing ritual so brutal, it required the addition of an amendment to the Misuse of Weapons Act. Horrifying. None of the original members of the Wreckers had survived the war by the point Springer had been brought on- except for Valve, who does not count because he left the Autobots to go be a Decepticon, a fact which will never be expanded upon, much like Eugenesis Skywarp having been an Autobot for some friggin’ reason.

Springer, once on the inside, realizes that maybe the Wreckers are a little too dark a shade of gray for him to be able to sit comfortably with- the battering of POWs just a little too enthusiastically, the bending of the rules a little too sharply, the blatant disregard for the Tyrest Accord being smoothed over with an “oopsie doodle!” It’s looking like the Wreckers aren’t completely on the straight and narrow; shocking, I know.

Still, he doesn’t really see the point in arguing with it, instead just trying to make sure that he’s not the one doing the maiming and such. Complicity is not the answer to this sort of behavior, Springer.

When Squadron X came onto the scene, Impactor was so upset at the perceived slight- because obviously if Squadron X was the Decepticons answer to the Wreckers, and they were a bunch of murderous assholes, what did that make the Wreckers?- that he made it everyone else’s problem. The Wreckers WOULD destroy Squadron X. It was his new goal in life.

This went exactly where you’d expect such a singleminded hate-boner to go.

After the execution of eight POWs who should have been let go due to being on sovereign territory, Springer decided that enough was enough and called the cops on Impactor. High Command had been itching to get this guy back under control, so things moved pretty quickly after that.

Springer resigned from the group afterwords, but then everyone started coming out of the woodwork, pestering him to come back and LEAD them, because they were worried about being shut down. The likes of Roadbuster and Whirl don’t exactly make for good executives. After thinking about it, and after the trial, of course, he agrees to come back on as the leader of the Wreckers. So began a new era.

Back in the real world, Roadbuster’s trying to read the falsified account of Pova, but just can’t go through with it. He decides to tell Springer the truth, if only so he won’t die with a bunch of bullshit bouncing around in his brain.

Springer did so many drugs in Eugenesis, he BECAME drugs in Last Stand.

So Springer is apparently the greatest hype man to ever live, as he pumped everyone up so much about getting Squadron X, they just went completely feral the moment they saw their ship. Squadron X wasn’t even doing anything, and the Wreckers were frothing at the mouth.

When this lead to the inevitable, and Springer was trying to break down the door to prevent Impactor from racking up eight war crimes in under two minutes, Roadbuster and Whirl had a little moment. They knew what had happened, they knew that they couldn’t stop it, they knew that Springer couldn’t stop it, and they were pleased as punch about it.

Once Impactor had been arrested, the other Wreckers were worried that they’d be the next to get ratted out. To try and prevent this, they created a false narrative to lure Springer back into the group, placing him in a position of leadership to soothe his worries about the others having been complacent in the murder of Squadron X.

Roadbuster finishes off this horrifying admission with a non-apology, complimenting Springer on being a good leader. Then he notices that Springer’s got a tear in his eye.

That’s a [ tair ] , not a [ teer ]. It took me a second, too. English is a nightmare of a language.

He tries to buff the tear out, manually peeling back Springer’s eyelid to do it, only to find that maybe Rung wasn’t completely full of shit after all.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

WFC: Siege watch!

Part 1: Episodes 1, 2, and 3

[Part 2] (Linking because Tumblr isn’t even showing the post on my blog or on my dash 🙄)

As a side note: every single person in this fandom is horrible at tagging their spoilers, you guys really need to do a better job at that because I’ve got a bunch of blockers on and I was STILL almost spoiled multiple times. Come on you guys...it literally came out today, be better about this.

Alright going to try and keep expectations low because I feel like the target audience for this is G1 dudebros who take a series about transforming cars way too seriously, but I’m still cautiously optimistic because a friend vetted for the dudes working on this show so WE”LL SEE

Episode 1

Aw man there’s only 6 episodes??? Bummer, I wonder if they’re already working on Season 2 or if they’re going to see how this does and let it die in the water if it’s not popular enough.

Things I know going in: Skyfire / Jetfire is in this, Megatron has big lips, and Elita is in it. That’s literally it, I’ve managed to avoid spoilers thusfar (though a few of the promo images implied Skyfire’s a Decepticon, so you KNOW that’s gonna break bad eventually)

WHEELJACK Wednesday THURSDAY

OH MYG OSH IS THAT SKYWARP??? EXPECTATIONS ARE NOW SKY-HIGH

The transformation sequences look so reminiscent of those stop-motion videos people do of their Transformer toys transforming. This isn’t a dig at the animation style, I think that’s rather charming and I wonder if it’s intentional.

Wow Bumblebee sounds like a jerk. I’m instantly on-edge, please don’t make all the characters ~hyper-masculine mean guys who don’t know how to have fun or talk about their emotions~

“The Autobots aint paying you for attitude” YOU TELL HIM WHEELJACK

Yooo Velocitron exists!

Ahh so Bumblebee IS just a mercenary, not an Autobot

OHOHO HERE”S JETFIRE

Wow Jetfire you’re really going the bad dude route huh

Ayyyyyy there’s Starscream

YOOO THERE”S THUNDERCRACKER

Thundercracker I appreciate that you’re using fancy tech to identify wheeljack but his Autobot badge is literally Right There

WTF

WELL THAT DIDN”T LAST LONG HUH...that’s a bit disappointing

OH NVM THAT WASN”T A HEEL-TURN THAT WAS JUST A STRAIGHT UP “I”M THE BOSS” MOVE

huh so they’re making Skyfire the target of Starscream’s desire for power. hmm

WHY ARE YOU GUYS RUNNING JUST TRANSFORM INTO CARS unless they’re too low on energon to do it??

There he is...Mr. Big Lips

Well that’s a surprising take Megatron

Isn’t that Cybertron and Luna 1 in the sky though?? Are they on Cybertron rn or not??

Megatron’s voice is really throwing me off, if it weren’t for his helmet and color I’d really think that was Overlord

ITS TRUCK DAD

OHOHO HE SAID THE THING!!!!

Why does bumblebee have lips too

“What do you know of slavery?” Alright that line did make me go “OHHHH”

“Alpha Trion would be ashamed!” “Of us both, I think” ouch, but nice to see Alpha “Grandpa” Trion back in a series

Megatron PLEASE don’t say “I’m enjoying this, Prime” in that voice while I can hear Optimus groaning in the background

AYYY ELITAAAAAA

Why are the Seekers chasing these guys, who are running on foot, ON FOOT??? CHANGE INTO YOUR DANG ALT MODE

WHEELJACK SWORE

man I’m only like a few minutes in and I’m already bored. I’m going to watch the whole thing, but I feel like this is really lacking soul or personality so far. It very much feels like the script was written by people who aren’t familiar with these characters, so they’re writing them how they EXPECT them to sound, not writing them as they actually are. It’s more than a little disappointing, but this is only the first episode, so I’ll keep going and see if this is consistent throughout the series.

Oh man, just listening to Elita you can tell she was written by a dude. Oof.

There’s the Ark!

Dang everyone’s running low

Jeez Optimus and Elita wouldn’t just walk by all these injured Autobots!

And Optimus wouldn’t brush off his officers!! Agh!!!

YO Ultra Magnus!

Chromia!!!!!

oh my gosh is THAT Red Alert??

Hey where’s Ratchet though

Gosh the writing is so STIFF!!!! I can’t stand this, if I wasn’t a die-hard Transformers fan I would’ve bounced a few minutes ago

 It might also be the way the VAs pause between words, please speak normally, these constant pauses between words are frustrating

Ok but where the frick is Soundwave

“His arrogance I actually like” pfft

Annnnd here comes Ultra Magnus to accept the treaty on Prime’s behalf, where he’ll get held hostage and probably wind up beefing it.

Episode 2

SOUNDWAVE!!!! BABY

And Shockwave!!! 

YO SKYWARP ACTUALLY GOT A SPEAKING LINE

I want to know where Megatron got all this fabric for those stupid flags and where Ultra magnus got that cloak

Is. Is that Prowl with a weird paint job

Wow bad aim dude

Ultra Magnus you dummy....

Ok but if it was a battle then who were they fighting against???

Wow you’re really just gonna stand there and take that Magnus?

I know they’re on a time-crunch because they only have 6 episodes, but they have to do more to make me care about the characters. I’m inclined to care about them already because I’m familiar with the series and because as a stand-alone, even I’m like “Ok. So?” whenever new problems come up for them. I’m not invested!

Not to compare the two, because I feel like this entire liveblog will turn into a comparative essay, but Cyberverse got me invested in characters within the first episode! They were on an even TIGHTER time-crunch because their episodes were only 10 minutes, and yet they did a great job weaving a tight narrative and making good use of their time to tell a story and have characters charm the audience.

Optimus: Til All Are One Rodimus, coming out of nowhere: TIL ALL ARE ONE

WELL THAT”S NOT THE VOICE I WAS EXPECTING FOR SHOCKWAVE he sounds a bit reminiscent of his TFA version

What does de-rez mean

Ok but that’s assuming that this thing will automatically reprogram them?? Reformatting doesn’t automatically mean someone will turn into a Decepticon!

You know, there’s a lot of talking in the show but the dialogue doesn’t actually say a lot. It doesn’t reveal much about the characters or tell me who they are.

YOOO THERE”S SOUNDWAVE

AUDIO BOOB

It really annoys me that characters always pause after saying “I”. It’s always “I.........[long pause] rest of their sentence.”

what do you mean “Teams” Optimus there’s like 5 of you guys

I love you Soundwave!!!

Whoa wait was that Impactor in the background?

ughHHHHHH I HATE THAT MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE IS “what have you done?” SAID UTTERLY MONOTONE WHEN IT’S NOT EVEN A BIG DEAL!!! YOU CAN”T FLIP THAT LINE OUT WITHOUT ACTUALLY PUTTING IN THE FOOTWORK TO EARN IT!!! AGH!!!

Again, it feels very much like the writers read the wikipedia page for Transformers and maybe the first sentence of each character’s bio page and then wrote the entire script from there. It’s frustrating. I hate being so severe in my reviews because I hate dunking on my fellow writers because they don’t always have final say in what happens, but this is astonishingly poor writing.

Like, I can see what they’re TRYING to accomplish, but it feels like they whiff so badly.

YO IT IS IMPACTOR

oh thats Barricade that’s why I thought that was Prowl

Chromia!!!! My darling!!!! I can’t believe there’s only two girls in this show so far

Oh that’s Cog, I wasn’t sure if that was Beachcomber or what

Nice one Chromia

Oh is that Mirage?

Ugh ANOTHER WRITING PET PEEVE: Constantly having characters start to say something but then then their dialogue gets cut off. It’s fine if it’s once in a while but over and over it’s annoying

I also feel like a lot of the VAs lack...emotion. They don’t emphasize the lines. Like, “Get him into the repair bay” is one example. Depending on how you emphasize certain words in that sentence, you can infer a lot! Emotion, the state of mind of the character, etc. But when it’s delivered in such a bland way, it’s a bit like “ok whatever”, which is how I’m starting to feel about this whole show. This doesn’t go for all the VAs or all lines, but it’s consistent enough that my mind’s wandering.

RAVAGE??? RAVAGE???? RAVAGE?!?!?!??!?!

It was probably Bumblebee.

Not to be nitpicky but it should be “Neither we nor the Autobots”

The idea of reformatting is so stupid!!! It implies that Autobots and Decepticons are inherently different, which is stupid!! It’s so dumb WHY DO YOU GOTTA GO THAT ROUTE IT”S SO STUPID (ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY”RE TACKLING THE TOPIC OF OPPRESSION??? THEY”RE SAYING THEY”RE LITERALLY DIFFERENT SPECIES AND USING IT AS A PLATFORM TO SAY ONE GROUP IS INHERENTLY BETTER THAN THE OTHER. THAT SUCKS)

Episode 3

RATCHET!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lmao love your lipgloss Megatron

Ohh is Ratchet going to fix Impactor??

PROWL??? HE”S SO SHORT

Gosh please, please don’t have humans in this show

lmao Skyfire called Starscream a tool

RATCHET!!! :D

I’d like to see who was on the writing team of this show

Isn’t that Mirage?

YEAH THAT IS MIRAGE

Again with the sentences consistently being cut off....

Is that Sunstorm?

Points to Chromia and Mirage for showing the first bitof personality in this show.

Yooo Ratchet! Oof he’s not chummy with Prime huh

YOO CAMINUS EXISTS TOO

LMAO FEISTY GRANDPA

Oh Mirage come on

Actually no, don’t shut Impactor up he’s right

“I didn’t patch you up just so you could blow a valve here” *snorts*

Wouldn’t it be frickin hilarious if Magnus just popped open a panel and Minimus came out and just dipped outta there

lmao nice lightsaber Jetfire

LMAO “PULL THE TRIGGER MAGNUS”

JEEZ JUST PUNCH HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE WHY DON”T YOU 

Ratchet is the ONLY character they’ve given personality in this show so far.

Jeez Mirage cool your jets

Oh for frick’s sake Optimus be cool

Megatron please stop torturing your ex boyfriend

Ok but who did they rise against??? Were there Quintessons in this universe too?

oh come on you guys

Oh boy something tells me Skywarp isn’t going to survive the rest of this episode

Oh jk, Skyfire just let him go. Well alrighty then

I’m not sure how they found the Autobot base, they implied that it was because of Impactor but that doesn’t make sense

This post is getting long so I’m going to spit it between two posts

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL goes to the cineplex to see the movie FOR CHARITY! and watches Transformers: The Last Knight, an official RTARL movie review blog post (with spoilers)

Is Marky Mark the titular last knight? Yes, Marky Mark is the last knight.

I went to see Transformers: The Last Knight for some kind of fundraiser thing but let’s be honest here - I was going to pay for it anyway. I can thank my friend for giving me a better excuse than just really liking dumb shit about giant monsters and robots from outer space but I really, really like dumb shit about giant monsters and robots from outer space. This is why movies exist. As for the movie itself it is a loud, obnoxious, borderline racist, confused, confusing, unfunny, train wreck of a movie with product placement and toy selling so obvious it made the whole theater laugh AND it is by far the best one of these movies so far. Even with the strange twists it takes with the “canon” of Transformers lore. Like, stuff that could have just been given a new name not to piss off purists was just given old names for the sake of not having to think up a couple of new letters. This is the artistic genius of Michael Bay.

The movie is split into two parts: the beginning and the ending. Each takes roughly an hour and fifteen minutes which means, yes, this is the shortest Transformers movie in years. For a series that’s on its fifth entry it’s kind of amazing how long it takes to establish the characters and the stakes but things really don’t start happening for probably an hour. I’m exaggerating to say there’s no middle to the movie but it is slight.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Characters show up in that awesome overly familiar way where your wondering, “who is that?” but everybody on screen is treating them like a beloved icon. Jerrod Carmichael is in this movie, I love him! Every time he showed up and said some kids party level jokes I couldn’t help thinking, “I hope Jerrod Carmichael makes millions for this.” Anthony Hopkins is in a lot of the advertising so I knew to expect him but if you thought the material was beneath him I’ll be happy to tell you that he’s playing a senile old man from England and his doddering is part of the humor. So we’re not just laughing with him, we’re laughing at him. I guess that’s actually not great for him. Marky Mark is back! He’s from Texas! His daughter is gone because of college which is still a thing that people are doing even as the world has been ripped to shreds by giant robots from outer space and the attempts to eradicate said giant robots from outer space. She’s been replaced by a much younger latinx daughter figure who Mark Mark of Texas pulls from the rubble in Chicago and calls her J-Lo. They have an argument about her leaving that I’m pretty sure doubles back on itself to where Marky Mark of Texas started off telling her to leave and ends with him telling her to stay. They live in a junk yard that’s a hiding place for Autobots. The college bit also comes up because the Megan Fox looking lady from the trailers who is actually not Megan Fox is an Oxford professor with a laundry list of credentials. Oddly, outside of this movie I don’t think she actually looks like Megan Fox, either. In any case, she’s super educated and British. Hijinks ensue. Also, returning are Josh Duhamel, in his role as military guy we’re supposed to like for some reason, and Stanley Tucci, in a role unrealted to what he was in the last one. No shit, he’s playing Merlin the Magician. It’s amazing. Merlin is a drunken womanizer who has already pledged his life to the dark arts but he actually becomes a magician with the help of some Transformers friends.

The Transformers train the Knights of the Round Table and give them some magical gifts from Cybertron so that the knights can be honorable and righteous and a litany of other shit. What makes the Transformers side with King Arthur instead of the Saxons they’re fighting? It doesn’t matter. There are a bunch of old paintings and photographs from history that have Transformers in them. A Transformer was the watch that killed Hitler. They’ve been on Earth for thousands of years (it was millions in the last movie) and Cybertron has been dead for that whole time but, also, Cybertron is still out there and needs to co-opt Earth so that it can stay alive. Quintessa, the creator of all life on Cybertron, plucks Optimus Prime out of space and recruits him to get some staff that Merlin had that can make Earth an energy coupling thing that will complete the thing where Earth becomes Cybertron. If you’ve ever watched the classic cartoon The Transformers: The Movie, the Quintessons are in there but they didn’t create Cybertron and they aren’t gods. If that bit of stupid little Transformers canon changing doesn’t bother you SPOILER! Earth is actually Unicron! So the creator of Cybertron (something Prime, I can’t think of what. Sentinel maybe?) who is canonically supposed to be the good half that fights the bad half  that is Unicron is actually bad and wants to co-opt Earth and make Earth into a new Cybertron but Earth is already the evil Unicron. SPOILER! Unicron is supposed to be evil in this movie, too, even if they don’t really get around to actually saying that until the part at the end where they leave the door open for another sequel even though this is the final chapter. For a movie that is ending for half of its run-time I guess it makes total sense that they don’t quite get the concept of ending the series, either.

I’m trying to piece together the plot of the movie but I can’t really get it any clearer than what I have as the first spoiler. Here’s an attempt: The government wants to kill all Transformers but Josh Duhamel’s part of the government stops the other part of the government from killing the Autobots in Chicago, which is sealed off danger zone, then turns around and signs a deal with Megatron that will give Megatron a talisman that Marky Mark has and the Josh Duhamel part of the government will kill the Autobots in the process. Or, no, they’ll kill the Decepticons in the process. Optimus Prime flew off into space at the end of the last movie but now he’s just floating around in space frozen until he ends up falling onto Cybertron. There’s a weird Transformers version of Hellraiser that goes on for a minute and then Optimus agrees to everything Quintessa is saying and announces, “I am Nemesis Prime!” Back on Earth the Megan Fox looking British professor is getting nagged by the ladies in her family to find a man and then Mark Mark of Texas shows up. Wait, this is wrong, she was hanging around before that. Anthony Hopkins breaks into her car and talks to it and then his robot butler shows up. Shit, I have this all wrong.

Anyway, Amegan Fox gets in her car and it turns out to be Hot Rod (also from The Transformers: The Movie fame) who has a French accent now. Hot Rod has apparently been acting as her car all along but had never revealed himself. Did I mention there are baby Dinobots? I don’t think it had ever been established before that Transformers have growth cycles like animals on Earth but apparently they do. I guess that means they reproduce sexually but they can also just be created by touching the All-Spark and they can live forever but also can die of old age but can also come back to life from being dead of old age but they just die when they are killed in battle unless they are rebuilt. Megatron transforms into a plane now. I just remembered that.

Anthony Hopkins takes Marky Mark and his group of Transformers back to the ancient castle where Hopkins lives and he has Hot Rod bring the Unmegan Fox, too. She falls down a mountain and then they walk around talking about Transformers throughout history. Marky Mark is the last night but Notmegan is even more important because she’s related to Merlin so her DNA is actually tied to the staff thingy that Megatron has or wants or whatever. Only she can actually use the thing but every Transformer wants the staff so that they can use it. There’s an exciting phone conversation between Anthony Hopkins and John Turturro that ends with Anthony Hopkins tearing a page out of a book at the library. There’s a car chase or two. Then Hopkins, Marky Mark, and The Girl go to a submarine that she somehow controls. It’s not a Transformers submarine, it’s just a submarine that is dry docked as a museum. At some point, probably earlier than this, Stonehenge is announced as part of Unicron that’s important because... Also, Unicrons six horns (why are there six instead of just two?) are scattered around the globe because of plate tectonics.

Buster from Arrested Development is an important physicist for NASA. He stands in a room with an ever-evolving color palette and yells about mysticism versus physics. Everybody in this movie chooses to not believe things that are happening due to Transformers even though it’s been ten years now of seeing Transformers destroy the planet. Cybertron is barrelling towards the Earth and will destroy the planet. The moon gets shredded by Cybertron flying past it. Still, nobody believes much of anything except for Marky Mark of Texas who is doing his level best to be serious with some of the worst dialog ever written. Let’s go back to the sub chase, speaking of bad dialog, where Josh Duhamel sees a giant alien spaceship submerged and says out loud, “That’s a giant alien spaceship.” This movie is a classic.

Once they all get to the giant alien spaceship they find all of the old Transformers knights who want to kill The Other Megan Fox even though Marky Mark of Texas has the talisman they’re supposed to defend and she has the power to release the staff that guides them all. Then they’re friends because Nemesis Prime shows up. The knight Transformers combine to form a robotic Ghidorah. There’s an hour or so of people and robots sliding around and yelling things and Cybertron slowly taking over the planet but not really getting very far beyond the original push. There are giant metal slabs hanging in the sky over Earth but once the evil plot is stopped through whatever mechanism the staff being reclaimed causes the takeover to stop, the metal slabs never fall. Optimus Prime gives a speech and then a woman in a sari tells some guy that she can teach him how to kill Unicron. She’s a Transformer!

There’s a subplot about Bumblebee trying to get his original voice back but the part they have to give him his voice is female. Transformers are not at all trans-friendly, it turns out. Somehow he has his original voice for three seconds just to tell Nemesis Prime that he’s Optimus Primes oldest friend. That makes Nemesis Prime turn back into Optimus Prime which we know because he says, “I am Optimus Prime.” There is a sequence where Megatron is getting to choose which Decepticons that have been imprisoned get released and we get one minute character bios with name titles for six new Transformers. Every robot talks about kicking ass. There is a sequence set in Nazi Germany where Bumblebee leads Allied soldiers even though he landed on Earth in the first movie which was set in 2007. The secret order that Anthony Hopkins belongs to is called Witwiccan in a sly nod to the old TV shows, comics and first three movies in the series (Shia LaBoeuf played Sam Witwicky) and the character played by Laura Haddock (not Megan Fox) is related to Shia LaBoeuf but she is the last in her line. So I guess Shia died offscreen at some point. There is nothing bad about this movie.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Official RTARL rating for Transformers: The Last Knight:

6 STARS OUT OF 100 STARS - A MODERN CLASSIC

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

[btglifestyle]

This weekend past, the freaks and geeks of the world came out in full force to enjoy all of geekdom at FanCon Comic Convention in Cape Town.

The event took place at the Cape Town International Convention Centre (CTICC), and featured a host of activities including comic book stalls, collectables and merchandise, panels with local and international guests, talks, cosplay and more.

It was truly nerdvana, and that’s why (obviously) the BTG Lifestyle crew were out in full force, exploring what South Africa’s own Comic Con had to offer. Enjoy some highlights from the squad below…

Jamie

After having the full weekend experience last year, I decided to approach this year slightly differently and only attend the Saturday.

I also decided to cosplay this year and went as Josie, the lead singer of Josie and the Pussycats, largely based on the cover of Josie and the Pussycats #2 (2016). In keeping up with our theme, I was also joined by two other Riverdale characters, namely Cheryl Blossom and Betty Cooper.

There was so much to do at FanCon this year that it was great that they moved it to a bigger venue at the CTICC – from various panels on women’s representation in comics to cosplay workshops, to dozens of stands filled with comics and collectables (my favourite purchase this year was a Death Note pocket watch/necklace which I am obsessed with now).

There was something for everyone and it literally took all of my willpower not to buy everything in sight, but somehow I managed to get through with very little damage to my card.

Like at the inaugural FanCon, I had an absolute blast at the convention. It’s always so great to walk around and see so many people with shared interests come together to have lots of fun, and even more wonderful to see so many people seated around the CTICC reading comics and cosplaying in a safe, welcoming environment.

And the cosplay! Although I missed the main parade, some of the costumes I passed were amazing and I am in awe of everyone’s dedication and creativity – my favourite had to be Star-Lord and Gamora (followed closely by the Starburns I saw on my way out). All in all a wonderful experience, and I cannot wait to attend again next year!

Stephen

I’m not gonna lie, when I walked in I was expecting the floor space to be much bigger. This was a result of attending EGE last year, which was in the main hall at the CTICC. I mean, there’s enough crossover with these two events to have some expectation, right? However, Decorex was taking place there.

Regardless, I was not disappointed by Fancon. I quickly found myself milling through the aisles of stalls as I searched for items I fancied; adding them to my mental inventory and doing calculations as to what I would be able to get at the end of the day.

One of my favourite things by far was meeting and taking pictures of (and with) the awesome cosplayers walking around the place. Using my GoPro, I soon found out that I had to inform my subjects that I was in fact not taking pictures of their crotch, but that the camera has a wide angle lens, hence the awkward positioning. Good thing nobody punched me in the face. Here’s a collection of some of the coolest cosplays I spotted on Saturday…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Another thing I was super excited for was finally getting my picture taken on the iron throne from Game of Thrones. If anyone knows me, they’ll tell you I’m a bit more than a huge fan of the show. Last year I didn’t make it to FanCon, so this year when I walked in, one of the first things I did was photograph myself upon the most glorious iron throne. Much excite!

Activities aside, I was now focused on acquiring some merch. I didn’t get many comic books this year, since most of my collection of reading material is now digital, consumed on my tablet or Kindle (for shame!). I did however manage to pick up some cool merchandise, including an Optimus Prime money bank bust. It looks frikken awesome, as you can see below…

But that’s not the best part. It… TALKS! Yes, it frikken talks! I was super excited when I found out. And the best part is that I got this at a superbly discounted price (but I won’t kiss and tell).

My contribution to the local comic scene was picking up a preview of a self-published comic written by a friend of mine who I attended university with. It’s called Blenderboy, and it’s written by Jayson Geland (my university buddy) and illustrated by his colleague and friend Warren Raysdorf. It’s a pretty crazy concept, featuring a post-apocalyptic world where people have blenders on their heads. You should definitely check it out.

Other notable achievements unlocked at this event was via the purchase of a Spiderman print by Inks MD, which I’ve just mounted on my bedroom wall. I would have loved to walk away from FanCon more broke than I did, but a lot of the merch was not priced favourably in comparison to other sources. Overall, I was super excited to attend FanCon, and next time I may just get a full weekend pass and attend more of the talks and panels.

Dean

I am a geek. So naturally when self-proclaimed “geek heaven” rolls into my town I am going to show my face and geek out with the best of them. This was the first time attending a Fancon although I did go to Free Comic Book Day before. The geekdom was strong back then and I was anticipating the same for this past weekend. I also had to tell myself that I absolutely could not spend as much money as I did the last time. But more on that later.

I was a little surprised that the event was held in the upstairs ballroom area and not the bigger, main expo hall – although another event was taking place there and perhaps FanCon couldn’t fill the entire expo – which understandably is not easy. But when I entered FanCon I was still impressed with what I had seen. Everything from the artwork to the cosplay to the merchandise to the comic books. The entire place was buzzing from the moment I walked in.

I got out my camera and walked around pretty much stalking some cosplayers. I donned my Black Panther mask and Deadpool t-shirt and got so much love from my fellow Deadpools. One told me he liked my t-shirt so much that he was going to kill me later and take it from me. Every time I walked past him he would remind me that he still has to kill me later.

Another Deadpool – in full costume – took a pic with me and let me pretend to stab him in the head. Suddenly I’m craving chimichangas.

I took a seat on the Iron Throne and it was surprisingly comfortable. I had to wait behind some other attendees, including one very ominous looking individual.

But the biggest battle of the day was how much money I was going to spend. I regrettably spent way more than I should have at Free Comic Book Day – scratch that, I regret nothing – but I am a sensible human being who approaches broke status several weeks before pay day. FanCon was not going to help. I bought a Batman mug which is now the fourth in my collection. Yep, definitely a geek. I also did my part for local comics by purchasing a signed copy of “Rebirth” a vampire story around Jan van Riebeeck.

My final purchase was a Deadpool chain of course but I flirted with the idea of getting a silver Batman ring (seriously I walked past the stand like 12 times) and don’t get me started on this Reservoir Dogs poster that would have set me back R1000. Yep, I would have seriously hated myself if I bought that. It would look really good next to my Pulp Fiction poster though. *Sigh*

Overall, FanCon was pretty epic. I would have liked to have gone for all three days and see some of the talks and panel discussions but there’s always next time! I cannot wait.

Editor’s Note: Hey FanCon, how about you hook us up with media passes next time, mkay? 😛 

You can follow us on Twitter @btglifestyle and click here and LIKE us on Facebook. Subscribe to the BTG Lifestyle blog for updates, and email us at info@btglifestyle.com if you have feedback, or would like to collaborate with us.

The BTG Squad Does #Fancon Comic Con in Cape Town! Enjoy :) #FanCon2017 This weekend past, the freaks and geeks of the world came out in full force to enjoy all of geekdom at FanCon Comic Convention in Cape Town.