#when I hit level 50 it was getting too difficult with just two of us

[elvendorx]

Hii! Love all yuor metas! How do you think Remus took the fact that James and Sirius declared themself often as best friends, do you think he sometimes got hurt and felt a little jealous or he was just okay with that?

Hello and thank you, that's so nice of you to say! <3 Thank you for this question, I could talk about marauder dynamics forever and I mean that incredibly literally, because this response is so. long. But I felt like I had to explain the ins and outs of the dynamics of james, sirius and remus to justify why I think it wasn't exactly jealousy but that there was resentment and maybe judgement from remus re: their friendship. that’s what I’m telling myself anyway :)

Note: I mention some information directly from Pottermore/Wizarding World here as a lot of information about Remus’ early life is included there. My stance on Pottermore/WW information is that you can judge and accept it according to how well the additional info aligns with character presentations in the books and whether it’s consistent with the information there. Basically, whether it seems like something that was always intended for the character or whether it’s something fluffed up for attention post-series (it’s about 50/50 with this author imo). For me, the Pottermore/WW info on Remus generally does align with how I understand and read him in the series so I use it as part of my discussion here.

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I think that jealousy is a pretty common human response when you see a mutual bond existing independently of you between two people you consider your close friends. Remus had an isolated childhood and we see that friendship and acceptance were incredibly important to him so on that basis, yes, I think that James and Sirius' closer friendship existing within the group would be difficult for him at times, when it was something that he wanted and valued so much. But on that same basis, I think that James and Sirius' closeness would be something he was at peace with, because he still had the friendship and acceptance that he wanted regardless of what level of exclusivity it operated at. 

Sirius and James seem to have hit it off immediately on the Hogwarts Express, so Remus would probably have recognised their closeness to each other from the start and maybe assumed that they had already known each other for many years, and it was something that he never questioned. Whilst I don’t think that James & Sirius' closeness was something that especially troubled Remus, I do think that James was his favourite friend, because he talks about him especially fondly and in a different way to how he talks about Sirius and Peter. Even so, it’s evidently incredibly meaningful to him that he had the three of them as a unit when he's explaining that he's a werewolf in the Shrieking Shack:

"For the first time ever, I had friends, three great friends. Sirius Black… Peter Pettigrew… and, of course, your father, Harry -- James Potter."

Pottermore/WW states that Remus was happy to have friends at all, having never thought he could be part of a group, and I think he'd get swept up in the excitement and novelty too much to get strongly jealous, especially when they tell him their intentions to become Animagi for him because I don't think that Remus would ever have imagined that kind of friendship for himself.

In fact throughout the books we see that, as an adult, Remus participates in and perpetuates the view of James and Sirius as a closer, separate pair - “your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school”, “your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did — everyone thought they were the height of cool” -  so I’m more inclined to think that any issues that Remus might have felt towards James & Sirius’ friendship would have come from the imbalance in how he comes to view them individually, rather than from any feelings of personal exclusion.

However, we see Remus’ negative self-judgement inform his relationships on several occasions throughout the series - he doesn't pull up James and Sirius in SWM on their treatment of Snape despite his visible disapproval, probably out of his closeness to them and fear of rejection, as we know he values and relies on the company of his friends to bear the difficulties of his condition (although he made them "feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes"). He thinks that Tonks doesn't see him as good enough because he doesn't feel good enough for her himself. He worries about not being worthy of the accommodations that Dumbledore has made for him so I can absolutely see him watching James and Sirius form their own unit within the group and feel that it's due to his own shortcomings rather than a natural kinship between them.

Again, I think that's a fairly common human response to seeing two people that you know so well, seemingly spend the same amount of time with, but they just click in a different way. I don’t think that it necessarily suggests anything untoward on Remus’ part and I think that any jealousy or annoyance about it would arise mainly in his worst moments of low self-esteem rather than being a consistent and underlying feeling. Remus is quite matter-of-fact and could probably see that James and Sirius have that same spirit and taste for trouble and be like, okay then, makes sense. Perhaps in the scenario of group activities (i.e. the map) where James and Sirius might get carried away and work on it without the others, he'd be a bit more sour about it because it's something that was intended as a group activity but he'd also probably enjoy the peace away from schemes that didn't involve him.

I said earlier that I think Remus consideredJames his personal best friend but I also think he'd be somewhat relieved to not have the pressure of being in an intensely close best-friendship like James and Sirius had and having to constantly uphold his side of it. I don’t think he could deal with the sense of pressure that would manifest for him in that scenario, and I think that he would also be aware of that and that would temper any sense of jealousy or woundedness. The intimacy of his relationship with Tonks seems like a very new or at least rare thing for Remus and he doesn’t deal well with the idea of being needed. James and Sirius have a lot of energy, so probably Remus would be grateful that James has Sirius to cause trouble with rather than getting drawn into it himself, particularly the side of James that gets a kick out of bullying Snape because Remus is clearly uncomfortable with that. Remus says in PoA that:

"Dumbledore's trust has meant everything to me. He let me into Hogwarts as a boy, and he gave me a job when I have been shunned all my adult life"

so although they pushed the boundaries with the illegal Animagi transformations, I don't think that Remus would have done anything covert at school so James having Sirius to do the more ostentatious troublemaking with would be a blessing for Remus in many ways.

Ultimately, I think that James and Sirius being a twosome just becomes a given fact of the group dynamic, with Remus happy with being part of a group and being liked, grateful for James in particular and accepting of James’ separate friendship with Sirius, but I think it became more complex later on. Remus doesn't perceive James and Sirius equally and as he grew to trust Sirius less, James’ closeness to him might be something that Remus understood or accepted less too. We don’t know very much at all about his individual relationships with James and Sirius, or how his view of them changed between adolescence and adulthood but there are differences in the way he talks about them as individuals.

Remus talking about James vs Sirius

Remus has a very positive view of James and struggles to admit to his flaws with Harry in the post-SWM chapter, he tries hard to mitigate and justify them even when Harry has visibly seen Remus' discomfort in the memory:

“Look, Harry, what you’ve got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did — everyone thought they were the height of cool — if they sometimes got a bit carried away —”

whereas Sirius is like "yeah he was a bit of an idiot, we were all idiots" and admits that he's ‘not proud of it’ rather than trying to justify it. 

Remus actively makes allowances for James’ treatment of Snape:

“​​Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James, so you couldn’t really expect James to take that lying down, could you?” 

but intervenes with Sirius' behaviour on several occasions, even when he's not doing much more than getting a bit heated in conversation (as in, not in circumstances such as the Shrieking Shack which I would argue are exceptional):

“Sirius, sit down” (even though Molly is goading Sirius: “The thing is, it’s been rather difficult for you to look after him while you’ve been locked up in Azkaban, hasn’t it?”)

This sets up a dichotomy of James as predictable and reasonable vs Sirius as rash and unreasonable in Remus’ judgement - he doesn’t keep an eye on Sirius in OotP because they’re close or he’s in love with him, it’s because he doesn’t trust him and expects him to react disproportionately, or he sees Sirius as a disruption to good spirits or peace. When Sirius mentions Voldemort:

“the atmosphere in the room changed with the rapidity Harry associated with the arrival of dementors…Lupin, who had been about to take a sip of wine, lowered his goblet slowly, looking wary”.

On the other hand, he's incredibly protective of James’ reputation as an overall Good Person because the most stable and sociable times of Remus' life are framed by the time that James was in his life. Sirius and Remus were less close to each other than they individually were to James in my opinion, so Remus doesn’t have the same struggle with seeing Sirius as flawed. Sirius on the other hand readily admits James’ flaws:

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly

To Sirius, this is just who James was and loved him for his flaws and his good qualities equally. He also doesn’t need to deny James' imperfections to believe that he was a good person:

“Your father was the best friend I ever had, and he was a good person”.

So I think it’s interesting seeing the differences in how Sirius and Remus see both James and each other, and what it says about those various individual relationships. Remus’ default perspective of Sirius still seems to be of someone he can’t or doesn’t trust despite finding out that Sirius was never a traitor. 

Discord between Sirius and Remus

In my opinion, Remus and Sirius have a dynamic which has probably always run with some form of an undertone of discord and a couple of instances in SWM summarise this well (they actually run concurrently but I find it easier to dissect them seperately because there's a lot going on): 

“I’m bored,” said Sirius. “Wish it was full moon.” / “You might,” said Lupin darkly from behind his book.

and

“...if you’re bored you could test me...” / “I don’t need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.”

The intended meaning of both Remus and Sirius is pretty clear in each exchange: in the first, Remus is asking for Sirius to test him, not for Sirius to refresh his own knowledge. In the second, Sirius is talking about the activites after transformation, which Remus talks about enjoying himself. In fact he says that when the others could transform, it made:

"my transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life"

Therefore, it seems as if he’s deliberately reading it as ignorance on Sirius’ part - or he interprets it as ignorance or selfishness because he sees those qualities in Sirius already (the prank happens before SWM, so I think that this is probable, even if only a recent development). To me, this signifies a fundamental sense of misunderstanding and miscommunication between them, or a lack of desire to try, which continues into their adulthood.  Their understanding of each other has limits and hurdles, whereas their discussion of James (both separately and together) is overwhelmingly positive and familiar (which could just be the dead friend glasses at work, but I do think they both just really loved James). 

Pottermore/WW suggests a further sense of bitterness and jealousy towards Sirius from Remus: "he always got the women", Remus supposedly said when he thought that Tonks is in love with Sirius. There’s a kind of self-pitying tone and almost a sense that Sirius didn't deserve it or something. I personally imagine that Remus’ assumption of Sirius’ love life here is inflated, but it’s hard to say as we have nothing else to go on except teenage Sirius’ pin-ups. Nevertheless, I can’t see Remus directing equal bitterness towards James - he sees James an example of normality and therefore deserving of the things that Remus himself wants or admires in him, which I think are stability, likeability and eventually his own family.

The lasting effects of "the prank"

In isolation, these could be seen as small or surmountable incompatibilities but I think that the prank could foster some resentfulness from Remus regarding James & Sirius' closer friendship. It's a murky incident, but I personally see the 'prank' as a (if not the) catalyst in Remus’ doubt of Sirius. I don’t really see how a close call instigated by a friend where you would be solely implicated in the case of any fatal consequences couldn’t affect you personally and affect your friendships, even if most of it was kept under the surface. In fact, the under-the-surface attitude towards the prank is probably exactly what intensified Sirius and Remus’ eventual distrust of each other, and some fraughtness is evident in SWM. Interestingly we never pre-prank Marauder interactions (except J&S), which is interesting when SWM essentially functions as the defining snapshot of MWPP dynamics.

As much as Remus brushes ‘the prank’ off as an adult, I think it’s important to note the context of him having spent the last 12 years alone and finding out that he doesn't have two dead friends and a murderer ex-friend, but instead a dead friend, a traitor ex-friend and a framed friend (a net +1 friends), making him more willing to overlook the incident given the circumstances and the time that has passed since. There are also three kids and the actual traitor present, so I think that Remus downplays the prank to recalibrate focus onto Pettigrew, who is the bigger antagonist at that moment in time.

Remus has a pattern of avoidance which would make it extremely easy for him to be like “oh that? yeah that wasn’t a big deal, that’s all over with” even when Sirius and Remus’ post-Azkaban dynamic still has an undercurrent of Remus’ distrust in Sirius’ self-control, as we see from the way he restrains Sirius in the Shrieking Shack and afterwards in Grimmauld Place also. Arguably, these are both exceptional circumstances and not examples of Sirius' habitual behaviour. Outside of the Shack (finally confronted with his best friend’s murderer) and Grimmauld Place (unhappy family home), we see that Sirius is lucid, sharp, in control, when he meets with Harry and advises him during the Triwizard Tournament. After Voldemort returns, Sirius is visibly affected but composed for Harry, so he doesn’t need Remus to keep him under control but Remus clearly feels the need to intervene.

In many of the incidents where Remus steps in, Sirius is just expressing emotions, perhaps in a big and alarming manner, but he’s not really at risk of any dangerous or threatening behaviour (not denying that Sirius doesn't have impulsive episodes, the incident with Snape for example). By getting out of his chair, what is Sirius really going to do? I hardly see him coming to blows with Molly Weasley in front of half the Order + their kids but the point is that Remus is anticipating that he will do something disruptive or aggressive. A key part of the disconnect and discomfort between Remus and Sirius in my opinion is Sirius’ freedom to express unpleasant emotions without real consequence and Remus’ habit of restraint due to the implications of losing control as a werewolf: externalisation vs internalisation. Again, Remus doesn’t hold a loss of control or freedom of expression against James - only against Sirius, because the potential consequences of Sirius' loss of control were bigger (and involved Remus directly).

All of this, in my opinion, stems from the prank. The prank is also where I think that Remus would start to feel a stronger resentment towards James & Sirius' friendship, because his admiration of James and distrust of Sirius are incompatible and I think he'd see Sirius as undeserving of James' complete trust and loyalty. I think that he would want James to be angrier and take his side over Sirius', I think he'd see it as a black and white situation where Sirius is completely in the wrong. I think he'd be a bit like "he does shit like this and you STILL think the sun shines out of his arse" but he'd also be conflicted by that logic because he'd be like "well I'm a werewolf and you tolerate me so maybe it's fair enough that you let him get away with things" or maybe he’d just be relieved that James wasn’t angry at him, because he expects negative responses to the actions of the wolf.

Maybe the incident would elevate James further in his eyes, he might see it as part of James' fierce loyalty, maybe he would find it reassuring that James stands by Sirius even after a fuck up and it’s still okay, or maybe he would be resentful, like “I can't fuck up, and if I did would you defend me as hard as you’re defending him?”. In all scenarios, I think that Remus would nurse that resentment and distrust privately - he doesn't speak up in Snape's Worst Memory and it doesn’t seem like he ever voiced his suspicions about Sirius to James, or anyone at all. This is probably because he didn't think that James would believe him or tolerate him voicing concerns over Sirius’ loyalty, so he clearly understands James and Sirius’ friendship for what it is. I imagine that James probably thought the group were all equally close, or loved each other as much as he loved them all, and would be hurt by Remus and Sirius’ fraught friendship. Or perhaps Remus didn’t see Sirius as a threat to James specifically because of how close they remained after school. 

Ultimately, I think Remus would have found his individual friendship with James and his place in a group of friends more fulfilling than he would have found the lack of a mutual best friend disheartening. Jealousy, with Remus' character, I think is a given at times as it feeds into his self-doubt and feelings of unworthiness but I don't think it would have been a constant or overriding feeling. If anything, I think that his frustration with Sirius’ impulsive or unreliable behaviour would show up in the way he viewed James and Sirius’ friendship, and in turn he’d see Sirius as undeserving of James’ fierce friendship and loyalty, out of love and protectiveness for James more than self-pity. TL;DR: some jealousy, but mainly resentfulness.

Thank you if you've read all of this! Now you know why it takes so long for me to answer asks, I promise I'm getting to all of them if you sent one and it hasn't been answered yet <3

[mamadoc]

1, 2, 11, 20😊

1 - Talk about someone who changed your life.

Okay. I took far too long to think about this. Since we're all in a post 6x6 and TTPD era, here's a vulnerable, tortured answer.

I had a very close friend for several years. My husband and I were very close to her and her husband. Our kids were friends. We went to the same church, all loved to travel, had similar interests and tastes, had all lived internationally, went on double dates, etc. We even considered having them raise our kids if my husband and I both passed away. In sum, we were super close.

Then COVID hit. As a doctor COVID was difficult. I struggled a lot because I was taking care of sick patients. I recall one tearful day of talking to a pregnant mom who was about to be transferred to the ICU and was saying goodbye to her other children. It really wasn't safe or comfortable to go to work for a long time. I wasn't really dealing with it well, especially with the people around me treating it like it didn't matter. I was really depressed for the first time in my life.

This friend didn't understand that or if she did, she didn't care. So, when I said I wasn't interested in going out in public and having any type of birthday celebration for my birthday (who wants to celebrate turning 41 anyway?), she started attacking me on a personal level. I was already in a dark place and instead of being a good friend and supporting me, she just keep sending me hateful messages.

That was the first and only time in my life I considered suicide. I reached out for help and got it. I wasn't in that dark pit for a long time. I'm much better now. I mostly have my sister to thank for that.

I brought her flowers for Valentine's Day with an apology note a few weeks after that. She never apologized. I brought treats to her a few weeks after that with an apology note explaining why I felt so hurt. I tried to call to explain how I felt so that I could heal. She never answered the phone.

I'm still not sure what I have to apologize for or why she never seemed to accept or offer an apology. But that was two years ago. We still don't talk. Our husbands don't talk. Our kids don't play together anymore. For a long time, I didn't like going to church because I knew I'd have to see her.

Most of that is better now. I'm just sad for a lost friendship and for the dark place I had to crawl out of.

I've used a slight modification of her name for a character in one of my stories who betrayed Lucy. I thought that might be therapeutic, but it just brought the situation up to the surface again.

Uhhh... I can't believe I just wrote all of that. I'll try to keep the rest of the answers a bit lighter.

2 - Talk about something you really want to do.

I LOVE to travel. I've been to 47 states and 16 countries. My husband and I had all of our plans in place to get to all 50 states before we turned 40. Then COVID hit and all of our plans were dashed when travel shut down. We're going at a slower pace now, but we're getting close to it. #48 (NM) in October, #49 (HI) July 2025 as a 20th anniversary trip, and #50 (AK) the summer of 2026.

11 - Share something you're proud of.

According to AO3's stats, I've posted over 339k words since I started posting 7 months ago (plus another 9-10k chapter I hope to finish tonight). I know there are those that blow me out of the water (Ahem, ahem @girlintotv and @centralperkchenford) with their numbers, but I'm pretty proud of that as a first-time writer and working mom with 4 young kids.

20 - Share with us a random fact or two.

I'm afraid I've already overshared. *yikes* But here we go.

I'm the oldest of 6 kids. The first 4 of us are all 23 months apart, then 27 months apart, and 25 months apart. So, we're essentially every 2 years for 10 years with all of our birthdays clustered together. 3 boys and 3 girls.

I had the chicken pox for my eighth birthday. My grandparents came to visit for my birthday, but they were afraid of getting shingles. So, I had to stay in my bedroom on the second floor, and they stayed on the first floor for the whole time they were visiting. I still remember standing in the hallway near the dining room while they sang happy birthday. One of my siblings blew out the candles for me and my mom brought me a piece of cake in the hallway. (Man, I'm still rocking those depressing TTPD vibes, aren't I?) I was officially not contagious the day my mom came home from the hospital with baby #5 in our family, and I remember being so excited to be healthy enough to hold my baby brother.

Sheesh. Now you probably won't ever ask me anything again. Between TTPD, 6x6, and the angst I'm supposed to be writing right now, I'm coming up with some strange answers.

Sorry to be the Eeyore in the crowd. Thanks for asking me to play though.

Ask game

[leicamoments]

A Change of Code?

Harrogate Railway 0-2 Maltby Main NCEL Division One

Saturday saw Railway playing at Station View for the penultimate home game of the 2024/25 season. The visitors to The Dagger Diving Stadium were Maltby Main, a team with a similar record this season, sitting one place and one point above the Railwaymen at the start of play, and in their previous meeting this campaign…the two teams couldn’t be separated, as the game ended 0-0.

Sun bathed the pitch as 3pm approached, with both teams lining up with a few changes from their normal starting line-ups due to injuries and players being unavailable.

The first half hour was a reasonably even affair, with the home team probably having the slight advantage in both possession and territory, although they’d not really carved out any clear-cut chances to score.

The visitors were to create the first real chance of the game in the 27th minute as a move down their right saw a shot flash past the Railway post when they really should have hit the target.

As the ball was cleared downfield, a rugby ball landed just outside of the Railway penalty area, probably as a result of a conversion from the Harrogate Python’s game being played on the pitch over the fence. As play continued, one of the defenders picked the egg-shaped ball up and skilfully punted it to the sideline.

Railway were then forced to make an early change as an injury to Sam Clothier saw him replaced by Alex Ingham. With the home team already missing a couple of influential players, having to make an early change meant more disruption to their gameplan.

Being honest, the first half was devoid of real goalmouth action, and it appeared that the teams were going to head in level; however, the visitors had other ideas.

Good play on Maltby’s right saw two of their players play around the Railway leftback and send the ball low across the penalty box. Maltby’s Flynn went to flick it in by the front post but missed the ball completely and it ran through to Alex Washington on the back post, who made no mistake as he fired it into the back of the net to give Maltby Main the lead, 0-1.

If conceding a goal with only seconds of the first half remaining wasn’t bad enough, Railway found themselves having to sub Sam Drake off due to an injury as well.

The half time whistle blew, with the home team probably considering themselves unlucky to be a goal down and having been forced to use three of their substitutes [a third being made at half time due to another injury]. The 15-minute break would, however, provide Rob, Fraser and Lee a chance to re-organise the team for the second 45.

Unfortunately, the second half was more difficult for the Railwaymen than the first, as they struggled to gain any long periods of good possession and impose themselves on the game.

Being blunt, there wasn’t too much difference between the two sides – those differences being in the ‘small details’. Harrogate seemed to be coming off second best in the 50-50 challenges, and when in possession seemed to be either hurrying too much to try and force play, or individual players trying to do too much instead of laying off the short, easier pass and moving.

There were times when the home team got on the ball, but insisted on playing a first time pass or trying to play that ‘Hail Mary’ ball, when trapping it and looking up would have been the better option.

I wouldn’t go as far to say that the players were panicking as they endeavoured to get back on level terms, but there certainly wasn’t a sense of calm control and a more measured approach to building pressure on the visitors’ goal.

Inevitably, it was Maltby who were to get the decisive second goal of the game as they scored in the 84th minute.

An attack by Railway was delt with by the Maltby Main defence, and a long ball was sent down the pitch with their number nine, Alex Flynn, getting on the end of it and powering a wonderful shot past the advancing Pocklington in the Railway goal, 0-2.

With six minutes remaining on the clock and an unspecified number of additional minutes to be added, the game was effectively over. The home team pushed to get forward, looking to create goalscoring opportunities, but their opponents successfully smothered any play in the penalty box.

Final whistle and Maltby had won 2-0 and deservedly taken all three points.

Surprisingly, a few hours later, the management team issued an apology to the club’s supporters for the performance, although I personally don’t believe they needed to do that.

The truth of the matter was the team were having ‘one of those days’ where they were just a little off their game. There’s no open-heart surgery needed here as there is a core of talented players at the club. When Des Okoro, Prince Attakorah, Sam Clothier, Finn Darvill…to name but a few…get on the ball, they are capable of producing moments of magic that can change a game.

Factor in captain Mike Morris missing from the starting line-up, and up and coming explosive young players such as Harry Bandeira; then Railway are a formidable team for anyone to play.  Unlike a few seasons ago, no one relishes a trip to Station View, thinking it is an easy three points to collect.

For an apology to be published by the management team, it just goes to show how high the standards they are setting really are, and exactly where they want to be. Retaining this group of players for the 2025/26 season and adding a few strategic additions to the squad will be a priority…but I firmly believe something special could happen next season.

[gobs-o-dice]

I figure I might as well lean into my personal schtick somewhat for the prizes I'm putting into the ball.

Not everyone needs D&D dice, but everyone can find a use for d6s.

I'm putting together little sets of the game my family plays - 5 d6s (I got some fancier-looking ones), and a write-up of the instructions.

We just call it "Dice", I don't know if it has any other names. It's a little like Yahtzee, in terms of what rolls are good, but it's not "roll up to three times and you get what you get, make it fit somewhere".

Okay, maybe starting from the top will help.

Each of your turns, you start with five dice, and start by rolling all five.

You must bank at least one die that is worth points from each roll, but you can roll the remaining dice again if you'd like. Or you can bank as many as are worth points.

If you manage to bank all five dice, you can roll all five again, and your potential points keep accumulating.

The banking works kind of like it does in The Weakest Link. You've officially earned nothing until you end your turn and pass to the next player.

If ever you roll and none of your dice are worth any points, your turn ends and you get nothing. All your banked points are gone.

If you stop your turn willingly, you add your banked points to your total on the scoresheet and the next player goes.

BUT!

The player you pass to has a choice: Start fresh from 0 and work their way up, or take the number of dice you had remaining and start from your banked points - eg: If have have 1,000 points and decide I don't like the odds of rolling my two remaining dice, I take 1,000 points and pass those dice to the next player, who can then try their luck, if they want, or pick up the rest of the dice and start fresh.

Otherwise, starting from a player's banked level works exactly the same as any other turn - Bank all five dice, and you get to roll all five again.

Yes, this can lead to big chains of player-after-player trying for and getting big jackpots.

So, it's a matter of weighing your odds and how well everyone else at the table is doing - Especially the person you're passing to.

However - At the start of the game, you must in a single turn, bank at least 300 points before you get on the scoresheet. If you're not on the scoresheet yet, you can't end your turn and take any amount of points lower than that, AND you can't start from another player's banked position.

Play continues until someone exceeds the score threshold (5,000 is usually where we set it at, IIRC).

In one variant of the game - You have to hit that target exactly, if you go over, it doesn't count. Adds a bit more strategy to the whole process - Get too close to the total, and it might be tricky to not fly over it during your turn.

As for points values:

1s are 100 points. 5s are 50. Nothing else inherently is worth anything.

But then there's sets and runs.

Only dice you physically pick up and roll count for making sets and runs - You can't grab a banked 5 to make a run, for instance.

If you're banking points from a set or run, you have to bank all dice used to make that set/run.

Three-of-a-kind is generally worth 100 points x the face value of the dice (ie: three 3s is worth 300 points). Triple ones is worth 1000 points.

Four-of-a-kind doubles those points (eg: four 3s is worth 600 points)

Five-of-a-kind/Yahtzee? That's Game Over - You win instantly! Lucky Duck!

I can't 100% remember the points values of runs off the top of my head - one of the things I have to double-check when I formally write this up.

I believe it works similarly to sets, though - Run of three is worth x; run of four is worth 2x. I want to say it's 500/1000. That sounds right to me.

I believe a run of five is not an instant-win - But it is worth 2000 (It's slightly less difficult than a set of 5, because while you need 2-3-4-5, that last die can be either 1 or 6).

With only 1 or 5 having inherent value, each die has a 1/3 chance of being worth points. 5 x 0.33 means pretty decent starting odds you'll get at least one die worth points (~86% chance of at least one die giving you either a 1 or a 5, if I've done my math right. It's been a while since I've done this type of probability), plus at 3+ dice you have the chances for sets and runs. 3 dice left is still mathematically in your favour for at least one 1 or 5, plus that little extra chance for a set or run.

2 dice left is where the odds are no longer in your favour. But, if you do get those last couple dice to be 1 or 5, you keep rolling, back with all 5 and another chance for a big score.

It's often more practical to bank a single 1 or 5 if you have a pair, and roll again with 3 or 4 dice (Save 1s preferentially, obviously)

It's easy enough to peace out with your points when you built a tidy little sum up from scratch - One good set/run is usually worth saving. But it's also not too tragic to, say, be sitting on 150 points from three individual 5s and say "screw it" and try to get all 5 dice back in play. You have to do that while trying to get on the board in the first place, since you can't bank anyway.

But when you're handed a pot worth a decent chunk of points, but only have one or two dice to roll on it with? Wonderful little dilemma. Usually worth the gamble. Lots of fun weighing options especially as players close in on the target score.

...Yeah, when I was putting in my Amazon order for various things, I added the wiz dice bag of splendor.

Legitimately though, all 20 sets look gorgeous, and for $33, it's basically the price of 2 or 3 sets from elsewhere - And no extra shipping costs.

I swear this isn't me speed-running going back to full-blown dice madness.

At any rate, the hoard grows once more. That'll bring me to 378 whole sets.

(Plus I'm keeping at least one set of 5 d6s out of the pack I bought for trinkets in the Christmas ball that's my responsibility this year).

[unluckyhoneybee]

I saw you reposting this and the idea popped to my mind.

You are also a driver. In the race when you are supposed to get your first podium/win, you crash on one of the last laps. You are giving an interview and the questions they are asking end up making you break. Daniel is also getting interviewed a few meters away and when he sees you in that state, he looks like that and when you break into sobs he runs to you and gives you a hug.

Inspo here

You felt like shit, both physically and mentally. The race had been exhausting. You had fought with Max and Charles the whole time plus it was super hot. On lap 50 you were trying to overtake Max but he pushed too wide and while trying to not hit him you ended up in the gravel. You were second at that moment trying to get the first.

You felt pressure in your chest and it was way too difficult to concentrate on the question. Also, they were being so rude to you.

"Maybe you don't have the level or talent to fight for a first place, we see other drivers on lower places who just accepted it"

"I don't think they had. They are just doing everything they can and trying harder, like me. But we all have enough talent for a podium or two"

"Well, your mistake says otherwise."

You gasped. The anxiety was rising to your chest and making it difficult to speak or breathe.

"It was... I... I wasn't expecting Max to take that turn that wide"

"Can you tell us how you lost control of the car? At first, it seemed as if he had touched you, but then the images told otherwise"

You felt numb, you were on the verge of tears. Why were they being so critical of you?

"I... I don't know, it... It just happened"

"Maybe it was the lack of experience. Some drivers get to F1 without having learned certain things and..."

That was what made you break. Lack of experience. You had fought like mad in other categories to get where you were now, you had moved from team to team and now that you finally felt comfortable and capable of winning, they told you this.

What you didn't know is that Daniel, instead of paying attention to the reporter in front of him, had been keeping an eye on you. He knew you well and cared a lot about you. The moment he saw you sobbing, he looked at the reporter and said "Sorry, she needs me more"

He knew exactly how you felt.

You took a few steps back from the reporter as your PR assistant talked to him. You felt overwhelmed by everything around you. You knew there were cameras on you, getting moments of you ugly crying because of the pressure.

Soon, a pair of hands were pushing you to a chest. "Come here, YN"

You heard Dan's soft voice as he hugged your body. You instantly hid on his neck and grabbed hard into his suit. You were crying badly, not able to contain your sobs. He let you do it, flipping a couple of reporters who were trying to get too close.

"It's okay, YN. Let it all out"

He spoke softly and caressed your messy hair.

His heartbeat helped you calm down. His whole presence had always had that effect on you.

"Can we go somewhere else?" You muttered.

"Of course, we can"

You walked away from the reporters, his arm over your shoulders and yours around his waist.

"Your time will come, I'm sure. You are great." He said cleaning your tears softly

"Thank you, Danny"

"It's nothing. They are a bunch of cunts. You are truly amazing".

You smiled looking at him. He truly was too precious for this world.

"I owe you one, Danny"

[miekasa]

more boyfriend headcanons: love languages

↯ pairing: eren jaeger x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: modern au, college au to some extent, fluff

↯ notes: i cannot stop thinking about him, so have 50 more head canons about this absolute menace. despite the title, he can and will turn anything into a love language, so beware.

annoying the hell out of you (quality time)

You’ve heard of girls sitting on their boyfriend’s laps and hugging them/falling asleep while they play games, now get ready for: boyfriends hugging you from the back while you attempt to do any mundane activity bc they miss you.

Because that’s Eren. About almost anything, because his physical affection, when not in the presence of other people, is absolutely on ten thousand and one.

The only public place he doesn’t mind cuddling up to you is the library. He doesn’t mind putting his arm around you or leaning his head on your shoulder, or even doing the sitting hugging thing in the library. Mostly because few people are there anyway.

Mind you, you’re the one who even showed him where the library was, and now he doesn’t know how to act. “Eren it’s not a ‘cuddling spot.’ It’s the library where I—and lots of other people, including yourself—go to do homework.” “If not cuddling spot, then why library chairs and study rooms cuddly?”

Particularly when it’s getting late and you’ve been crammed in the library for hours, and Eren just wants you to pack it up so he can drive you home. He’ll squeeze himself between your body and the back of your chair, wrap his arms around your stomach, and lay his cheek on your back.

Most times he falls asleep waiting for you to be finished. Sometimes he gets impatient and tickles you until you agree to leave. Either works for him.

He doesn’t not like holding hands in public, but it’s not his go to either. If you’re walking together, sometimes he’ll wrap his arm around your shoulder—usually after some cocky comment—or even walk behind you with his hands on your shoulders like it’s a two person conga line.

He doesn’t kiss you in public a lot, and never around his friends. They can see the literal hearts in his eyes when he’s around you though, so it’s not like he has to. On occasion, he will kiss your cheek. It’s kind of random, but you don’t question it.

In all honestly, whenever he gets affectionate or cuddly in public is all pretty random, even to him. Sometimes he’ll just be standing around you and he’s hit with the urge to engulf you in a hug and kiss your cheeks and he has to stop himself like, “....Why did I just think about doing that?”

Partially because he wasn’t outwardly hugged or shown affection a lot as a child, so sometimes he gets to urges children do to just want a hug. But he’s also pretty bad and/or new at processing his emotions like that so he mostly stands there like 🧍 looking at you with lovey dovey eyes instead.

Touchy when he’s drunk. But that’s not exclusive to you; anyone in a five foot radius of him will be subject to his arm slung around their shoulders, or him being slumped over their back, or random head ruffles.

Most commonly Armin, but I think we all knew that. Sometimes it’s Jean, and Jean is an even messier drunk, which results in the both of them actually being overly affectionate with each other in a strange, but endearing way. They both deny it to their graves when they’re sober, though.

Hovers around you. Constantly. Like a shadow. 

Does not leave you the hell alone when you’re in the kitchen. Will make it 100x more difficult for you to cook or just maneuver, which is ironic seeing as the most gourmet thing he can cook up is bagel with cream cheese. 

Sometimes Eren seems unaware of his size in comparison to you and your friends. It’s very sweet that he laughs with his whole body, but he’s got to realize that if bumps into you because of his sporadic laughter, that he might accidentally knock you into next Tuesday.

Likes when you touch his hair, doesn’t matter where or when, or who’s around. He loves it, all of it.

Will press his face against yours if he has stubble, just to be annoying. Like always.

If you hadn’t gotten it from everything else, he just likes to annoy you in general. But, like, affectionately. I keep saying it’s his love language and I mean it. Really—what it is is that he likes spending time with you, but he also likes annoying the hell out of you, too.

Bites. Not in a sexy way—well, unless you want him too—but, just because. Bites your shoulder when you’re not expecting it, bites your cheek while you’re in the middle of watching a show. Sometimes he takes your hand in his and your think it’s going to be sweet and he’s going to kiss it, but really he just brings it to his mouth to bite it.

Bites your ass, too. Again, just for fun. Because he thinks he can get away with it. Biting is a love language I’m telling y’all.

Likes to give you piggy back rides, even if you don’t ask for them or need one. You could be going from your room to the living room and Eren insists on carrying you there. 

And for some reason, he thinks that because he likes to hold/lift you, that that should apply to you as well?? Like he’s not 6′1 and big bodied, hello?? Eren you cannot just jump on top of people, you’re grown. 

He lets you dress him a lot. His fashion sense isn’t bad, and to be honest with you, I think he’d be a little bit of a hypebeast LOL. I don’t mean decked out head to toe in Supreme (god forbid...) but definitely has a bit of a sneaker obsession.

Not that he keeps them clean or is obsessive about creasing them he couldn’t care less. He just thinks they’re cool. Maybe even some accessories too, like those KAWS toys. Not a lot because they’re hard to get, but is really proud of his little growing collection.

But if you want to dress him up, he’s down for it. Would even let you buy him a pea coat so he can pretend to be a scholar. (He’s not BYE). He’ll tell you if something really isn’t his style, but he’ll wear it if you tell him he looks hot 🙄

Kinda forces his way into your life in little ways. Like, he’ll start adding his favorite snacks to your grocery lists. Moves a pair of your shoes from the door to make room for his own when he’s over. Basically claims two drawers for himself in your dresser. Annoying. Endearing.

Lowkey has his own intricate skincare routine, but he likes doing it with you more. He’ll make it a whole thing, and buy wine, and stupid drinking card games, and sit with you on your bed for 2 hours playing while your face masks dry. 

Texts you if you’re in the same room as him, but not paying attention to him. Especially if you’re doing schoolwork.

Throws pillows at you while you’re sitting at your desk to get your attention. He could just say your name, but it’s so much more fun this way (according to him anyway). It’s all fun and games until you smother him with one. 

Thinks arguing with you is cute, and sometimes says or does—or doesn’t do, for that matter—things just to incite an argument. Not a big one, or something serious, just petty things to rile you up so he can kiss and make up for it. For example, he’ll purposely putting the dishes in the wrong place, or hiding the remote from you, or putting his clothes in the wrong hamper.

“Eren, I swear to god, if you don’t stop putting the water bottles on the top shelf—” “What are you gonna do it about, pretty girl? Hit me with it? You can’t even reach—ow!”

being your loudest hype man (words of affirmation) 

The amount of pictures he has of you... criminal. From off-guards, to posed photos, to selfies, to screenshots, he has them all tucked away in a little folder with your name and a string of very inappropriate emojis after it.

Screenshots 90% of your snaps to him, even if his just of your eyebrows up. Sometimes because he thinks it’s funny, sometimes to save the picture because he likes it, but mostly because he knows you don’t understand WHY and that’s gives him the most satisfaction 😌

Loud and annoying in your comments on social media too. Hype man almost to a cringe fail level. He doesn’t care though, he has to let it be known. 

You could post a simple picture of you and Mikasa at lunch and Eren is in the comments screaming as per usual. @jaegerbomb: do i see TWO pretty best friends??? fuck it up besties 😫🥵🥵😜

GOD. HE WOULD RESPOND WITH ���SO TRUE, BESTIE” TO ANYTHING ONCE HE LEARNS WHAT IT MEANS.

Oh, but he doesn’t take to it lightly when you call him bestie, or refer to him as your friend in any capacity. He’s your boyfriend, and would like to be labeled as such.

If you did that prank where you pick up the phone while you’re around him and say “Oh, I’m not too busy, I’m hanging with a friend right now,” he would pout about it for days. Days. Doesn’t get over it, and reminds you of your transgressions every two to three business weeks.

Tells you you look hot all the time, regardless of what you’re doing or wearing. He means it, too, genuinely, he thinks you’re hot. But he does get a kick out of how potentially embarrassed it makes you.

Tells you you’re smart and beautiful and his favorite person on the planet. He means it, always, even if the delivery isn’t romantic. Although, he would argue that telling you he would “tap that” is very romantic. 

for him: receiving gifts & words of affirmation

Eren would be really humbled and honored to receive a gift from you. He needs to receive physical affection, too—but something about you thinking about him enough to buy or make him a gift that he’ll love and cherish really hits home for him. He doesn’t have many people who would do that for him.

If you buy him anything, he’s using it the second it’s out of the wrapping paper. You buy him shoes? He’s wearing them the next day. A new case for his phone? Rips the old one off in an instant. A little trinket for his keychain? He can barely remember to carry his keys in the first place, but suddenly he can’t ever forget them now.

He just can’t get over the fact that you think about him and know him well enough to tailor your purchases to his liking. It’s almost an impossible concept to him, and really reassuring that you love him as much as he loves you.

On a similar note, he actually doesn’t mind couple items, as long as they’re not obvious and/or corny. Down to have a pair of matching hats or phone cases or even sneakers. You don’t even have to always/only wear them at the same time, just knowing you have the same thing at home kinda makes him feel fuzzy inside.

He also thinks it’s hot. He can’t explain why knowing his girl has the same kicks at him is hot, he just knows it is.

As much as he likes telling you how hot you are, Eren also likes to hear that you find him attractive—and that you like him, in general. For the most part, he gets that from your physical reciprocity and quite literally letting him hover around you like a fly, but it’s nice to be told with words every once in a while.

For as much as he knows it, he gets a little caught of guard whenever you tell him you love him. He knows you love him, but hearing it sometimes is a little surreal to him. Very reassuring, too, and everyone needs a little reassurance from time to time.

[sweetberrysmooch]

HC: And There Was Only One Bed (Affectionate) [pt. 2]

(Zzzzzzz…..)

(Alright, second part done :V Not much to say here for now, but I hope you’re excited for the upcoming part to come out next ^^ And my ask box is always open, so feel free to drop in and chat any time! I’ll be seeing you :D)

Basic sleeping hcs with ya boys, and for a part two, outside home life? You’ll see what I mean lol 

Characters: Quackity, George, Badboyhalo.

Warnings: Nightmares in Quackity’s part, but besides that we’re clean <3

Song Recommendation: Metamodernity- Vansire

Up Next- Sapnap, Philza, Fundy, Schlatt. 

Enjoy your day guys! I do hope it be rockin :]

Quackity:

Quackity is one floppy motherfucker. You fall asleep with him spooning you, head nestled between your shoulder blades, hands holding yours in front of your middle, legs entangled, the whole shi-bang, but wake up with him starfishing half on the mattress at a weird angle that makes his neck sore for the rest of the day.

Each day is a new position for you to add to your ammunition of teasing against him, but he takes it in stride. He totally doesn’t wake you up halfway through the night by flinging himself over your middle, ‘asleep’ and snoring like a freight train. When you give up halfway through trying to stop him breathing and just fall asleep lying on his chest, he turns to mush and gets distracted playing with your hair. You don’t know why he seems so exhausted the next morning, and he only giggles dreamily at you when you ask.

While he’ll be the big spoon for as long as you want him to, there’s a special soft place in his heart for being the little spoon. Hold him, please. Pull him to your chest and gently run your fingers through his hair, rub his back and kiss every inch of his face until he’s down for the count. The easiest way to make him feel better after a bad day or an argument is to let him know you want him and love him. Just holding him at night guarantees that he’ll bring you a present the next day (like the inner stardew valley house husband he sometimes longs to be lmao).

It’s a 50/50 chance of waking up with Quackity or after him, seeing as he prefers to get up early to enjoy the quiet mornings before the rest of the smp wakes up. He gets ready, makes the both of you coffee (or tea, something to help wake you up), and watches the sky change color while he waits for you to come sit with him in the kitchen. The two of you try your best to assure a moment together before you go about your separate ways, sitting together and talking about what you have planned or what you might have for dinner later. It’s his favorite part of the day, aside from coming back home to your awaiting arms.

Another citrus-y smelling fellow. More orange than lemon, he bathes in the morning after he wakes up. You typically wake up right after he gets finished washing up, walking into the bathroom to hear him quietly humming while drying off his hair and wings. He’ll give you a small guilty grin and a good smooch on your forehead as an apology.

Another poor fellow with nightmares;; They’re a lot less frequent than they used to be now that you’ve gotten together (having someone to talk to and work through each others issues does WONDERS apparently) but when they hit, they hit him hard. You wake up from him twisting and turning right before he wakes up in tears. He doesn’t like to be touched afterwards, drawn in on himself and facing away from you, hiding his crying. When you leave to get him a glass of water and come back, he’s more grounded, crawling into your arms and accepting the drink gratefully. With his forehead pressed to your throat, taking small sips from his cup, he’ll tell you what his dream was about. Sometimes it’s Technoblade, sometimes Dream, mostly Schlatt though. His ex lingers on his mind more than he likes to admit, a deep sense of abandonment showing through his nightmares. Quackity struggles with sleeping for a few days after, afraid of what he might see when he closes his eyes again.

(You’ve fallen back asleep by now, hand paused in its ministrations and resting snugly in his hair. Things are warm and quiet and soft, and he feels safe again. 

The nightmare still hovers fuzzily in the back of his mind, but for now he can ignore it, focusing on your slow breathing as it lulls him back to sleep. 

His last thought before finally letting himself rest is how much he loves you, giving you one last squeeze in his tight embrace before relaxing into a much more stable slumber. ‘Gracias por todo mi amor.’)

George:

Impeccable skill of just falling asleep wherever and whenever. Before the two of you got close and started sharing a bed together, he really left his sleep schedule up to fate. He’d find a comfy spot and crash there for a few hours till he was awoken and would just repeat that a few hours later. Now that he has you, he makes more of an effort to stay awake during the day so he can sleep through the night next to your side. It more or less works, but occasionally he’ll have slept during the day and he wakes up in the middle of the night. As “punishment”, he sentences himself to waiting it out instead of getting up to do something because he truly wants to keep going to bed with you.

Not big on contact, likes having his space when he’s sleeping. Cuddling is nice every once in a while, but he prefers being able to breathe a little bit when falling asleep. He does, however, actively make the choice to hold your hand while he slips into slumberville. His grip isn’t too strong, nor is it very light, but a gentle mix between the two to try and remind you how much he loves you. You’ll wake up before him and his hand will still be holding yours, pulled to his chin as he sleeps. His breath fans your knuckles slowly, face eased of any stress, absolutely content.

George bathes…… probably. I’m just kidding, he fluctuates between bathing at night or in the morning because he just goes through phases of forgetting to when the time comes. His little mushroom home doesn’t come with a bathroom, seeing as its wholly empty (please if anyone has housing information on George or like. Any character at all please inform me please i beg-), so he’s limited to getting clean at a friend’s or your house. Typically yours. He keeps all of his valuables at your place once you start letting him sleep over there, tucking his clothes into your closet or in your dresser when he thinks you aren’t looking, leaving a toothbrush and his soap in your bathroom, hanging his armor up on an empty armor stand you have tucked away, all due to his inability to straight out ask if he can live with you.

It’s not like he doesn’t want to live with you, he practically does anyways, but there’s something in him that worries that you won’t like him if you’re forced to live with him permanently. He knows it can become… a bit much when you have to be around someone 24/7, but doesn’t realize that you pretty much already are around each other 24/7 lmao.

It takes a while but eventually he settles down and over dinner suggest that maybe you two should take it to the next level. His face is flushed pink and he keeps switching which leg he has crossed, but he takes your hand and quietly asks if he could start living with you. It’s a surprisingly sweet moment, even with your confusion (thinking you already DID live together), and of course you say yes.

He looks so relieved when you accept, and is kinda like, “I know this will be a difficult process but I’m very excited to become closer with you.” and then nothing changes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(It’s on the walk home when George finally processes that he now lives with you. It feels heavy on his heart, a mix of nervousness and excitement that makes him swallow hard and tighten his fingers around yours. 

This isn’t the first time he’s spent the night at your place, nor is it the first time he’s crawled into bed with you and slept next to just because you let him, but it is his first night actually living with you. The moment feels brand new, as if it’s his first time visiting your house all over again. 

He begins to wonder if maybe this was a mistake, maybe he’s moved too fast and maybe your regretting letting him live with you already and- He takes a hurried look at your face. You look… unbothered. Happy, even. 

There’s this half hidden smile on your face that soothes his anxieties, drawing out his own fragile smile. He can’t wait to live with you.)

Bad:

Mmmmm, big man warm. A natural heat machine, no need for lots of blankets or heavier pajamas, Bad will take care of all your cold problems. Every night after you finish your shared nightly routine, you curl up in his arms, immediately becoming over come with his toasty embrace. It like when you get clothes out of the drier and just hug them to your chest, the warm, clean, smell good experience that Bad also delivers.

He’s got a pretty ingrained nightly schedule that he sticks to, and he always invites you to join him after you finish up dinner. It starts by cleaning up the house a little, washing the dishes, setting aside clothes for the next day, taking a quick bath, brushing his teeth, reading a few chapters from a new book he’s picked up, and then settling down to go to bed. He won’t push you to do it with him, but he does try to incorporate you into his routine when he can. Usually it’s just by doing something small, like reading together or massaging your shoulders, but sometimes he’ll ask you to join him when he bathes.

Bad bathes pretty often, always at night, and using a nice smelling soap that he makes himself. Like what was said above, he’ll sometimes ask you to join him when bathing. It’s not ever for any naughty means, but because he sees bathing as a very intimate and vulnerable activity for you to share. He won’t push it, understanding that it can be overwhelming to be so open, but if you do choose to join him, he’s so gentle with you. His hands are worked and calloused, but they’re soft when they run soap through your hair, his nails lightly scratching your scalp and running down the back of your neck. He practically purrs when you return the favor, giggling as your hands brush sensitive spots around his sides. Afterwards he becomes so cuddly and attached to your side, you fall asleep with him curled up on YOUR chest, trapped under him.

That being said, most nights he takes to being the big spoon. It’s more for convenience sake, seeing as he’s a good few feet taller than you are, but he also can appreciate being held and loved on after harsher days. He’s a lot like a weighted blanket, a nice heavy weight that keeps you warm and makes you feel loved <3 love this guy.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), you sometimes have.... Visitors. Bad is a hub for the homeless, bored, and nutty members of the smp. They flock to him like birds to the elderly, which means you have “children” to take care of for a day or two at a time :/. Dream and George aren’t regulars, per say, but Bad has a room set aside for either of them when they come over. To their credit, they do try to be polite when they come over, and will help in cooking dinner or cleaning up. Skeppy, however, is unlike Dream or George, in that he’s more of a third partner in your and Bad’s relationship.

Skeppy up and appears at random, no announcement, and makes himself comfortable any place where Bad is. Be it at your home or his, Skeppy eats your food, lounges on your furniture, hell, he even sleeps with you and Bad at night. You two share Bad’s chest whenever Skeppy is over. It’s so jarring at first, having to deal with having another boyfriend (because Skeppy will consider you to be apart of the thrupple after introductions), but he usually only stays for like 3 days before leaving to do whatever else he has planned. You don’t know if you should be worried or upset or what, but after a while it becomes kinda nice to have him around.

All in all Bad is great to sleep with <3

(Bad blows the lantern out on his bedside counter, shuffling under the cover beside you once the room was fully dark. You slung an arm over his chest instinctively, cuddling up into his side when his arm pulled up around your back and held you even closer. 

You shivered pleasantly when he gently pressed a kiss into your hair, becoming sleepier and sleepier with each rise and fall of his wide chest. He sighs quietly and squeezes you, murmuring softly to you as you both fell asleep. “Goodnight, sweetheart. Sleep well.”)

Have a good evening! Do something nice for yourself tonight. You deserve it.

[hurricanek8art]

AAAAH Everyone's so fast and helpful and welcoming thank you!!! I've got a lot of anxiety to work through before I start posting art and writing, but I'm feeling brave now, maybe I'll have the guts to post screenshots at least. 🤣

I've found a couple versions of those charts already and I've been using them as reference (they're actually pretty helpful for writing and remembering what sequence goes where, too, surprisingly). And, since I've already done pretty much all of them save a few heroics on my Smuggler and Consular, I know which missions I'm supposed to do in what order.

I think I'm mostly beating myself up about this because my goody-two-shoes autistic brain sees quest markers and goes "IN VIDEO GAMES I CAN HELP EVERYBODY! 😄😄😄" and I hate doing things out of chronological order, so my brain decides everything is important and then I get burnt out.

I do all the flashpoints solo on story mode because I'm a socially anxious turtle who has no idea how combat actually works in this game beyond press buttons to make bad guy fall down, so thankfully no one's yelled at me yet, and I'm stuck on the Maelstrom Prison one because of a very annoying boss. Thankfully, I've gotten some advice on how to beat that already (again you guys are so fast and helpful you all rock!) that I'm gonna try tomorrow.

I wasn't entirely sure how leveling worked, that's super helpful! I was playing before 7.0 but like I said, I don't really understand combat so I just put back as many of the abilities I recognized as possible. I got so mad when I couldn't find Dirty Kick in my Smuggler's abilities, it's dumb but it made me laugh every time I used it and I was so happy I found it again. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was wondering why some boss fights were still somewhat difficult when I was hitting level 50 dudes with a level ~63 Shadow Consular. I think I just like being overleveled because it's less stressful to worry about hitting a fight I can't win and having to backtrack to grind. We usually subscribe around Christmas every year (whoa, I just realized I've been playing for two and a half years! And I've only ever gotten as far as Makeb 🤣) so I think I have access to everything except for Showdown on Ruhnuk? I'm not sure how that works.

You guys are all so helpful! Thank you so much!

Okay, so, um... Hi? So, I've been a lurker on Tumblr for a while, including the SWTOR tag, because I've got major social anxiety. Recently, I think I've finally worked up the courage to interact, which is great! Especially now, because I think I need advice about the game and don't really know where else to ask! Other social media sites scare me and I'm not currently a subscriber, so I can't access the SWTOR forums. :P

I've just finished Corellia on my Jedi Knight. She's technically my main, even though I already finished the class storylines for Consular and Smuggler. I got burnout on doing the planetary missions and side quests around Balmorra (I'm a huge goody-two-shoes, so I was doing almost every quest I came across) so I figured, hey, I'll just focus on the story for a while and come back to it another time! Except now I feel kinda bad for skipping them because my Knight's leveled at 53, when my other two finished their class stories around 60/65. I know over-leveling's pointless, but at the speed I take getting through stuff, they'll have to have raised the level cap again by the time I catch up. 🤣

Should I go back and do them before finishing the class story? I know it's pretty harmless to skip them but I dunno, I want to do as much as I can with my Knight so I haven't missed out on anything. My brother plays too, we share an account, but his philosophy is skip absolutely everything that's not important unless he's underleveled, so obviously we have differing opinions on the subject. 🤣🤣🤣 Can some more experienced players give me some advice? I'm paralyzed with indecision, help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, etc., etc., you get the gist.

Unnecessarily adding pictures of my Knight because she is awesome and I love her to pieces and I only really get to talk about her with my brother. I'm a writer/artist and I've got loads of stuff I've created about her and my other legacy characters but. y'know. extreme social anxiety says no sharing yet. You guys make such cool stuff and I'm a huge chicken, but I'm working on getting over that, so maybe someday I can actually tell their stories!

[guerilla935]

My Favorite Fishing in Video Games Where Fishing is Not Core Game Play

A really awesome surprise for me is always to boot up a game that is full of action and suspense to be introduced to a fishing side activity. I have toiled away at fishing in games for hundreds of hours at least. It has gotten so bad in some instances that my friends have asked me why I haven’t just taken the plunge into real fishing. It’s definitely because that is a lot of work and in real life I don’t catch a fish every 30 seconds. They have also wondered why I don’t just play a fishing simulator like Planet Fishing (Shout out to Planet Fishing that’s a great game). And that’s where I have to think for a while. Fishing while you have better things to do like save the world is very special. You aren’t fishing because it’s the objective of the game or because that’s why you are there, you are fishing because it’s fun and maybe you need a break to swing a fishing rod instead of a sword. And then you can stop, and get back to fighting or whatever the rest of the game entails. Below are games that have fishing in them for mostly no reason at all. I have shamelessly spent way to long with my bait in these waters and absolutely loved every second of it and I hope that you (the reader) can find a lot of relaxation in these waters as well.

Pokemon Series

Since the very first Pokemon game there has been fishing. You get the old rod from some guy and then you are free to fish up as many goldfishes that you want hoping that one of them will grow up to be a 21 foot tall dragon. Pokemon has combined their fishing with their main game play and makes you at least start a battle with the fish you drag onto shore. Now fishing in Pokemon is pretty subpar mainly because a single Pokemon game hasn’t really been known to have more than a handful of Pokemon that you can fish for. Also if you are looking for a strong water type Pokemon you could do a lot better than fishing for it. Typically a Pokemon player will fish about 5-10 times total. And although fishing for Pokemon isn’t all that great it has been in every game for over 20 years and that is pretty impressive. It’s a small detail that makes the world of Pokemon feel like a real world of wild creatures.

Sonic Adventure DX

In Sonic Adventure DX you are given the choice to play as a lot of different characters, one of which is named Big the Cat. Most of the characters are combat characters that rely on speed and attacks to get through levels, some even wielding rocket launchers and extremely oversized hammers. However when you start the story of Big the Cat you are thrown in a completely opposite direction. Big the Cat is a giant purple cat who lives in the jungle with his best friend Froggy. Froggy accidentally swallows one of the most powerful objects in the Sonic universe and Big the Cat must chase him all over the world trying to fish him out of where he is hiding so that he can eject the Chaos Emerald out of him and they can return to their life in the jungle. The fishing mechanics in this game actually are really good and this is probably because Sega had just put out a series of mildly successful Bass fishing games before releasing this game. Either way its absolutely hilarious that Big the Cat gets to defeat Chaos 6 right before Super Sonic has his showdown with Chaos Perfect.

Final Fantasy XV

In Final Fantasy XV you play as Noctis and his favorite hobby is fishing. When I first played this game I sped through it and never fished once and reached the end of the game never indulging Noctis in his hobby. When I replayed Final Fantasy XV I fished for 50 hours and then ejected the disc from my console. The fishing in Final Fantasy XV is surprisingly deep with a lot of the vendors supporting what you could call a fishing road trip. In the game it is extremely dangerous to be out at night so I would plan day trips to lakes to maximize the amount of fishing I would get to do. I would prepare days in advance to make sure I could afford the trip and that I had enough supplies to both protect myself at the lake and have enough supplies to last the whole day. Final Fantasy XV really is a game about getting really distracted and fishing is probably its best distraction. My days on the lake were the perfect balance of peaceful and rewarding, this game offers an awesome reward of well planned trips and a good haul of fish.

Final Fantasy XIV Online

Final Fantasy XIV is the only game I have ever played where the fishing played exactly like its combat. When you are fighting enemies in a dungeon in FFXIV you are constantly adding buffs, landing hits, using consumables, and managing resource bars. When you are fishing in FFXIV you are constantly adding buffs, landing hits, using consumables, and managing resource bars. Note you are doing so at a much more leisurely and less life threatening pace but you are still doing it. I never maxed out the fisher class but I got it into the expansion content which was a really long and relaxing experience. Yet another Final Fantasy title where the real meat of the game is in getting distracted. When you fish you also sell on a player market that fluctuates based on market price just like real fish. You get the relaxing fishing side of the game and also an aggressive economic number crunching side as well. I spent way too long with a real pen and paper deciding how much I should sell for on any particular day and bossing around my two cat girl employees.The MMO aspect of the game adds so much to what you would expect to be a very solitary experience.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Have you ever gone fishing for hours to receive an empty bottle? That is exactly what kick started my addiction to fishing in Twilight Princess. An empty bottle in Twilight Princess means another way to heal yourself, another way to add oil to a lantern, another way to carry useless water around. The only way to get the 4th bottle in the game is to go to a dedicated fishing spot and fish until you pulled it out of the pond. The actual fishing is pretty weird, it involves motion controls which I still am not entirely sure what they do or how to properly use them but it is really fun to hold the pole in gyroscope and set the lure in the water waiting for fish to come get a nibble. Although the physics with the water make it difficult to see if you have actually gotten a bite or not it still is enjoyable the other 85% of the time it works.

Stardew Valley

So this one is at the top of every other “fishing in games” list and there is a big reason for that. It’s really good. I think in my first Stardew Valley farm I gave up farming entirely and fished all day every day and stopped to buy food to replenish my energy and go back at it. I really didn’t care about getting rich or making enough money to expand the farm or get to know everyone I actually spent about 50 hours just fishing. The fishing takes some skill and a pretty keen eye but the random jerks of the fish and the rhythm of the game play are so fun to try to master. It’s a part of Stardew Valley that I felt like I was continuously improving on as time went on and it was really fun. I mean I don’t recommend it because you’ll end up moderately poor but it was really fun.

Fantasy Life

Fantasy Life offers you 12 potential jobs, you could be a brilliant blacksmith or a devious potions maker, a lumberjack or a knight, a hunter or a seamstress. However your inner dad is calling and you decide you want to play through a fantasy RPG as a fisherman, hell yeah. the story is relatively short so you can quickly unlock a lot of locales to fish at and there is a manageable economy system that lets you deal in fish in advantageous ways. You can even pick up cooking on the side and make fancy dinners and sell the fish for higher you can do that as well. Fantasy Life is like a clever mix between Animal Crossing and Final Fantasy XIV and it kind of succeeds and falls short of it. The fishing also takes a good amount of skill and rhythmic approach to master so it doesn’t get boring almost at all until you have cleared the game.

Maple Story 2

Maple Story 2 is one of the most expressive and cutest games that I have ever played. And the fishing is no different, its all about style. The fishing in Maple Story 2 is monotonous and can get old but you do it for the chibi clout. Because much like the rest of the game you can look however you want and do whatever you want and sometimes you just feel like kicking back and throwing lure in the water at the beach. I never got super into the fishing in this game but it won me over with its adorable design and stylish atmosphere.

Animal Crossing Series

Of course I had to include the most popular game right now. Animal Crossing has become something of a connection between people when we can’t leave the house. A thing we all have in common on social media and with our friends. My first experience with Animal Crossing really starts with New Horizons and I was completely blown away. The fishing isn’t super complex or difficult but the range of what you can pull out of the water and what you can do with it is absolutely breathtaking. For a game about cartoon people living with humanoid cartoon animals the fish looking photo realistic. And the museum where they can be kept is stunning. The museum looks like it was designed to capture the feel of being in a museum and matches the design of all the great real life aquariums and observatories. Although it is a bit frustrating when your rod breaks it is easy enough to make one (or worst case buy one) to get your bait back in the water.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Tell me I’m wrong, you can’t. Isabelle getting added to Smash brought a very powerful fishing move that isn’t practical all the time but is really funny. Wouldn’t recommend this game if you are looking to relax and fish but I do recommend hooking your friend with a fish hook and send them flying off screen if you had to.

Minecraft

I have a very special role in Minecraft when I join a friends server. A role that I assign to myself. While everyone is off getting awesome swords, spelunking for diamonds, and exploring the infinite landscape, I build a small wooden shack and I set up a farm with an irrigation canal and start fishing. A steady supply of food is necessary and while I’m hanging out with my friends in a server I’m happy to be the one to provide it. The fishing in this game is probably the slowest of all the ones on this list but is the most useful. just throwing the fish in the oven creates food that can help keep you and your companions alive for a long time. I think I definitely have my limits with Minecraft fishing and I couldn’t do it for hours on end it is rewarding to set up shop and find a nice place to settle down for a few hours to fish.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

This is the only Tactical RPG in this post. Fire Emblem: Three Houses has sections between combat where you can go and talk to your students and do other activities. We aren’t here to discuss other activities though we are here for the fishing. The fishing allows you to catch fish for some reason that I’m sure is good but never intrigued me enough to learn. All I know about the fishing in Fire Emblem: Three Houses is that it’s fun. I started to bust through combat just so that I could get back to fishing. The funniest part about this one is that the fish has a health bar. Pressing the A button at the exact moment finds a way to become easier and still find ways to mess you up. Either way, I’m not that interested in tactical RPGs but I heard there was fishing in this game so I had to play it and it was worth it.

Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy

In Jak & Daxter, Daxter gets turned into a small animal by dark eco while exploring a dangerous island off the shore of his home with his best friend Jak. To get back to the island to investigate, the pair have to borrow a boat owned by a fisherman who is troubled by an invasive species of poisonous eel that is ruining his haul. He asks Jak to catch fish for him without catching any eels. This fishing mini game can only be done once but it is going to either be something you think is very unique or a huge waste of time. All I’ll say is that the sound that the fish makes when it goes into the net is absolutely a reward in itself it is so satisfying. But anyways, more intense than some other options here but get it done so you can get back to absorbing eco powers and jumping on stuff.

Shovel Knight

Shovel Knight is a 2D action platformer but you can also fish. And you fish for the best kind of fish, money. You can get some other stuff too like health pickups and magic replenishers but we know what you want. You see that little glint and you pop out the fishing rod and pull out those money bags. If you are devoted enough you can even get a surprise from the Troupple King (long live his highness) if you fish out the right stuff. I don’t even know if I fished all that much when I played Shovel Knight but it’s hilarious that you can.

NieR: Automata

I did not play a lot of NieR and that’s because I was fishing. I don’t know why all I did was fish but you throw your little robot in the pond and you lean on a magical stool so honestly it was good enough for me.

Club Penguin

If you know then you know. In hind sight there really wasn’t a whole lot to do in Club Penguin but this mini game really messed me up. You basically get to move up and down, catching fish and avoiding trash and other hazards. Basically trying to do this and catch as much fish as possible to avoid having to ask your parents for real money to pay for snacks to feed a virtual ball of fluff with eyeballs. I don’t really remember how challenging it really was but I remember getting decently high scores to about like 100 fish per round so I guess it was pretty easy if I could do that at age 10.

Rune Factory 4

I’m gonna be very honest about this one and say that the fishing in Rune Factory 4 is basically just Animal Crossing fishing but more anime. The fish react to the pole the same, the fish almost look the same, and the buttons to respond are the same. What makes this one special is where you can take it. You can fish in the little moat in town, in the lake, in a dungeon full of monsters, in a lake that is eternally the season fall, anywhere. You are constricted by the boundaries of Stardew Valley and that is how much energy you have and how much time you have in the day. It’s still fun to fish but I wish that they had used their fun fantasy setting to give the ability to fish up some cool made up fish instead of strictly things that exist in real life.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2

Ok, diving, fishing, same thing. Diving in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is just fishing with your whole body. It works a lot in the same way as Pokemon where you fish up monsters to fight and get the rewards from them. It is a completely optional activity however if you decide to undertake the grind of scavenging in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 then you will never hurt for money ever again. It makes my wonder why Rex stopped being a salvager to do odd jobs because this was PROFITABLE. The main incentive is that there are spots that spawn a certain enemy that drop cores. Cores are like gacha or loot boxes that contain new anime girl partners that deal huge damage in fights. They even have their own side quests and story lines. I spent maybe 30 hours grinding before giving up on this game and while it does become tiresome I really enjoyed the random rewards of possibly getting a new companion or a really cool weapon.

It’s been tossed around that every great RPG has fishing in it. I won’t argue that point but a lot of great RPGs certainly do have fishing in them. Everyone needs a break sometimes and fishing is the perfect activity to remind us to stop and take that break. Even games can get long and without these distractions it might be so much harder to complete these harrowing tasks. Don’t forget to take breaks and just enjoy the sound of the water every once in a while because there’s no rush playing video games.

Honorable Mentions:

Kingdom Hearts: Sora fishing with his bare hands on Destiny Island

Persona 4: Weird aqueduct fishing

Persona 5: Marina fishing life

Sea of Thieves: A pirates life for me

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #184

Oh shit we’re a day late. Sorry. Now that Summer’s over, Fate and Phantasms is heading out to Shimousa, starting with the Archer of Inferno! You know the deal by this point; true name spoilers and build breakdown below the cut, character sheet over here, but still expect a little bit of spoilage because you can’t spread out a character over 20 levels and not spoil a bit about them.

Next up: I thought the ghost of an occultist driving a car made by a talking lion would be the most convoluted character design for a while. I was wrong.

Tomoe Gozen is a Battle Master Fighter to talk with her fists and throw people around as well as a Hunter Ranger to get her fiery arrows and to specialize in fighting massive crowds.

Race and Background

Tomoe is kind of halfway between an oni and a human, never quite at home in either world. Thankfully that’s exactly what Tieflings are as well, so getting her race is pretty easy. As a Mephistopheles Tiefling she gets +1 Dexterity and +2 Wisdom, Darkvision for night raids, Hellish Resistance to fire damage (it would be awkward if you died to your own inferno), and the Legacy of Cania. This gives you the Mage Hand cantrip immediately, with one casting of Burning Hands and Flame Blade with your Charisma per long rest at third and fifth level respectively.

As the wife of a Lord, you’re the definition of a Noble, giving you proficiency with History and Persuasion. People just like you, y’know?

Ability Scores

Step one; Dexterity. You’re an archer, this shouldn’t come as a surprise that this is pretty high. (I mean I say that, but there’s ton of archers that don’t use bows, so...) Anyways, second is Strength. You throw people around like sacks of potatoes, so you gotta be pretty good at lifting them. Go with Wisdom as your third highest ability. Large scale battles are hectic, you’ve got to have a sharp eye to do your best work in them.  Your Constitution isn’t half bad, oni tend to be able to take a beating. Your Intelligence isn’t that high purely because we need other stuff more, so we’re dumping Charisma. You’re a bit awkward no matter which side of the family you’re talking to.

Class Levels

Ranger 1: Starting off as a ranger gives you plenty of goodies, including plenty of proficiencies, like Strength and Dexterity saves, plus three skills; Insight and Perception to read your enemies and Athletics to make it easier to haul them around. First level rangers also become Deft Explorers, which makes you Canny with athletics. That doubles your proficiency bonus for extra oni strength when you push and pull objects. You can also set a Favored Foe as a bonus action, dealing an extra d4 of damage once per turn after hitting them with an attack. You can do this proficiency times per long rest, and the damage grows as you level up.

Ranger 2: At second level, you gain the Archery fighting style for an extra +2 to your ranged attack rolls. The archer class is really made up of archers, huh? You also learn how to cast Spells using your Wisdom to cast them. Theoretically. You don’t actually have any spells that bother with that. At first level you can use Longstrider to move around the battlefield easier and Absorb Elements to add a little bit of fire to your arrows immediately. That helps less than the other elements since you’re already resistant to fire damage, but we suffer for our art here. Well, you do.

Ranger 3: Making it all the way to third level without burning out grants you entrance to a shiny new conclave, and the Hunter conclave turns you into a Horde Breaker when you take the subclass, specializing you towards dealing with large groups. Once per turn you can make an extra attack, as long as your second target is within 5′ of the first. You also gain Primal Awareness, letting you Speak with Animals. I don’t think anything in canon says you can do this, but your event is one of the only times we hear the servant animals talk, so I’m counting it. You also learn how to cast Zephyr Strike, speeding yourself up and possibly dealing extra damage at the same time. Controlling your spacing is vital when it comes to dealing with tons of enemies.

Ranger 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Strength for stronger punches. They’ll get even stronger in a second, don’t worry.

Fighter 1: Bounce over to fighter for the Unarmed Fighting fighting style. Now your punches deal 1d6 damage (or 1d8 if you have both free) and you can deal damage to grappled creatures at the start of your turn. You also get a Second Wind, which will heal you as a bonus action.

Ranger 5: We’re done multiclassing for a while, since heading back over to ranger will net you an Extra Attack each action. Now you’ve got two attacks against one target, or three if you can use horde breaker. You also learn second level spells, like Beast Sense and Enhance Ability. I don’t think you’re strong enough yet, so that latter spell will give you advantage on strength checks for the duration. (Or a target creature advantage on any one kind of checks, that’s just the most in-character option.)

Ranger 6: At sixth level Favored Foe grows to a d6, and you also become Roving, which increases your speed and lets you climb and swim without slowing down.

Ranger 7: Seventh level rangers will find it a lot easier to Escape the Horde, forcing disadvantage on all opportunity attacks against you. Right now you’ve still got to keep your distance from your enemies to use your bow and arrow, so this will help. You can also cast Aid to increase your maximum HP along with that of a couple of friends for something that will really excitate your whole lineage.

Fighter 2: Bouncing back to fighter gets you an Action Surge for two actions per turn once per short rest. Now you get up to five attacks in a turn thanks to Horde Breaker and your extra attack.

Fighter 3: If we keep on trucking we’ll hit third level, which is where things get really spicy. As a Battle Master, you get four Combat Superiority d8s per short rest, and you can add one per attack to attack you make, dealing extra damage and adding effects to the blow. Technically. Only one of your maneuvers actually deals with attacks, but that’s Pushing Attack, which will do a lot of work for you. When you hit a creature you deal extra damage, and if they’re smaller than Huge and fail a strength save, they get pushed 15 feet away. Your other maneuvers are Evasive Footwork, adding the d8 to your AC while you move to make fighting you even harder, and Tactical Assessment, adding the die to an Investigation, History, or Insight check. We might not have been able to make you smart, but this should cover whatever tactics you need. You’re also a Student of War, giving you proficiency in any one artisan’s tools. Pick your fave, you’re not exactly Hokusai.

Fighter 4: Our last level in fighter grabs the Crusher feat for +1 Strength and once per turn you can push someone an extra 5 feet as long as they’re large or smaller. Also, critical bludgeoning hits give all attacks against their target advantage until you start your next turn. Now you can fling someone 20′ away, and while that technically doesn’t let you throw them in the air I’d allow it. Honestly, if someone’s moving that far away their feet have got to be leaving the ground at some point.

Ranger 8: Going back to Ranger for good now gets another ASI right away, and Gunner is a weird feat to pick, but hear me out. It’s basically the crossbow expert feat, but it trades that bonus action attack for a +1 to Dexterity, which is way more useful since you don’t use a hand crossbow. You also get proficiency with and can ignore loading on firearms, but most D&D games don’t have those anyway, so it’s fine to be a bit out of character. The real good reason we’re here is to ignore disadvantage on your ranged attacks if people are near you. Archery and brawling don’t normally go together, now they do. You also get Land’s Stride so you can move through difficult terrain easier and have advantage on saves against magical terrain. You leave a lot of corpses around in Shimousa, but this’ll help you keep your footing in that demiplane of skulls you do your boss fight in.

Ranger 9: Ninth level rangers get third level spells, like your Primal Awareness spell Speak with Plants. That might sound totally out of character, but it turns out there’s a legit reason for it: Hey look over there, it’s Flame Arrows! Finally, you can dip 12 arrows into fiery goodness, and each one deals an extra 1d6 fire damage on a hit. You’ve got up to an hour to use all of them, but it also takes concentration so don’t get too attached.

Ranger 10: Tenth level rangers are Tireless, letting you heal yourself with temporary HP as an action Proficiency times per day, and you heal exhaustion on short rests. Some people call that inhuman, I call it efficient. Gilgamesh wishes he had what you do. You can also use Nature’s Veil to turn invisible for a round as a bonus action Proficiency times per long rest. Think of it like a smoke bomb. Or a wildfire bomb. Just set things on fire, hide in the fire, done.

Ranger 11: At eleventh level, hunters can let out a Volley of ranged attacks, letting you attack every creature within a 10′ radius of a point you can see. Technically, this means you can pump out up to 50 attacks per round thanks to Action Surge, assuming a lot of creatures are dumb enough to clump up next to each other. 51, sorry, Horde breaker’s still there. To make getting into position easier you also learn the UA spell Flame Stride, negating opportunity attacks, bumping your speed up by 20 feet, and dealing fire damage to nearby creatures when you run by them. It also explicitly sets items on fire, so now we know how you caused so much damage in Shimousa.

Ranger 12: Use this ASI to round up your Strength and Dexterity for stronger punches, tougher punch saves, better arrows, and a higher AC. A banner level for you.

Ranger 13: Your new fourth level spell from Primal Awareness, Locate Creature is way easier to justify than the last one. You just know where the enemy general is located, even in the thick of battle. We’re basically building a Dynasty Warriors character at this point, aren’t we? You also get Freedom of Movement, just in case you need to speed around the battlefield without setting stuff on fire. I know, it’s boring without the fire. You just have to make due for two more levels.

Ranger 14: Your Favored Foe grows again, and you can Vanish as a bonus action, hiding yourself without any way to track you, bar magic.

Ranger 15: Your final spell of the build will turn you into a mighty inferno that can burn down all of Shimousa! Well, not really, but if you Summon Elemental then Vanish away, it’s almost like you turned into a fire elemental, right? You can also Stand Against the Tide, using your reaction to redirect a missed melee attack at another creature. It’s really hard to hit you when you run away, so I suggest fishing for attacks of opportunity for extra damage.

Ranger 16: Use your final ASI to grab the Tough feat for an extra 40 HP. Onis, man. They’re hard to kill.

Pros:

You specialize in dealing with large groups of enemies, with plenty of ways to move through them and attack over large areas at once.

Working with your bow and fists means you’re never in a bad position in a fight. Hah hah, you ambushed the archer, I guess you’re just getting your skulls bashed in instead.

Your range and speed, combined with your punches’ pushing power, means you are great at choosing your fights. For the most part you can determine where and when you fight an enemy, giving you a pretty solid advantage. As long as your DM doesn’t make all the fights take place in a vacant plain somewhere.

Cons:

Your charisma is pretty dismal, so even if you have a plan in mind good luck getting people to follow it.

You’re also pretty unfocused, and I mean that in every sense of the word. You’d be a lot more consistent with damage if you only focused on punching or arrows, and since you’re specialized for bunches of weak enemies single bosses can be tricky.

Most of your magic damage is Fire, which is easy to resist. If you’re up against a demon or devil, you might just have a bad time.

[2021fuckitup]

“ WE GET HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS”

Helpful hints for newborn to old fuckers...

Why A Torch Lighter Is Ideal:-Your product liquifies, then smokes, almost instantly

-It is MUCH easier to control the direction the meth flows, as well as what is receiving heat

-You can get MUCH bigger hits

-You can avoid burning it so much easier than with other flames

-No flickering flame

-Butane refills are cheap as fucking shit (I got a hairspray-sized bottle of Zippo butane for the price of 2 disposable lighters)

-Don’t burn your thumb as much

-Sessions can be initiated and/or finished faster

Downsides-If you don’t pay attention, you can burn the shit out of your product, or yourself. BE CAREFUL, PAY ATTENTION, AND BE PATIENT

-Smoke through your stash quicker

-Possibly worse burns because its hotter than a bic

How to smoke meth with torch lighter for beginners:

1)First ensure that your pipe is clean.

Why?

For the ice to smoke properly. DO NOT load fresh product in a pipe with product that has been smoked, burned, or otherwise heated. If you load fresh on top of a still smokable bowl, the new and old will melt/smoke at different speeds/temperatures (can’t remember which is which right now, but I think old smokes faster), ensuing that it is very difficult to evenly heat the product. Then you get spots where part of the crystalized mass liquifies and will move with the flame, but some of it needs more heat, and for me at least, some always gets burned or darkened, and has a bad taste. If you load fresh product in a pipe with burnt shit in there, IT WILL TASTE LIKE SHIT. It will often also not melt/smoke right, AND your new stuff will taste like burnt stuff, which is THE WORST taste in the world (IM0). (FYI-I’ve heard that blowing cigarette smoke through a oil pipe (like you were going to hit it, but exhaling smoke through it instead) removes the taste. I have tried with pot smoke and it didn’t work, but have read many people say that cigarettes work.

How to Clean the Inside of A Pipe-If it is not clean, a very easy method is to fill a microwavable container (like a coffee mug) with 50% water, 50% bleach, and put the pipe (bowl facing downwards) in the water.

-Put it in the microwave for 4 minutes (yes, seriously that long-I tried after 1, 2, and 3 minutes and it didn’t work. May even take 5.)

-Let cool. Once cooled, remove from mug and drain all water.

-Using Q-tips, insert through carb hole and “mop up” the stuff left in the bowl. This may take several qtips depending on the bowl. If there is still black/brown stuff in the bowl, apply more pressure

(be careful not to break the bowl by pressing the q tip too hard on the sphere, OR accidentally pressing on the side of the carb when trying to reach around inside with q tip.) If there is still stuff in there, I have read that small bits of Magic Eraser stuffed in, and manipulated with a pole (like a q tip) work wonders, but also have not tried.

How to Clean the Outside of a PiPE

-Using a wet rag, or balled-up wet paper towels/toilet paper/napkins/etc, rub the outside of the bowl. This should cause the stuff on the outside to transfer onto the paper.

-If this doesn’t work, steel wool may work.

Handling/Prepping Product

-Dont handle meth by hand. It’s bad for your skin, and little amounts will dissolve. Instead, use:

Ideally: a 7/11 straw (this is a straw whose last inch or so is a scoop, sometimes used for slurpees or w/e those frozen drinks are; these straws I have found to be ideal for handling all sorts of drugs).

Realistically: Normal Straw: Straw been sealed on one end (tape, seal it with flame), and on the other has a 45 degree angle (45 degree is diagonal; if you cut a square in half diagonally, the diagonal line is 45). This allows you to scoop small fragments out of a bag, tin, or other carrying device easily, as the angled mouth scoops up crumbs, especially in corners of bags; while the sealed back prevents any from accidentally spilling.

Size/Shape

-Make sure your product is all of the same consistency. I find it best to use one crystal, preferably large (but not to large). I find the size of a tic tac, or slightly larger, to be ideal. Also, cubic or rectangular is best possible shape IME. I will often break long, skinny crystals because they dont burn as well as more square ones, and broken into small squares, they will smoke more evenly.

-While you can load bigger crystals with smaller bits/shake, I generally find it is best to load similar sized rocks. That is, load all shake, load two or three crystals of equal size, or put one crystal in there (usually a big one).

-If you need to break a crystal into smaller bits to make equal sized crystals (or to make odd shaped crystal more square), place a sanitary, nonabsorbent material on top of/around the crystal (no dollars bills here, printer paper works great.) and either snap it in two, or push against a surface. If pressing, you can use a finger, debit card, whatever, just slowly apply more pressure so you can crush to consistency of your liking. If you crush it all the way, you have shake(aka powder).

Differences Between Methods

Single Crystal (often large): Crystal will slowly lose mass as it melts, evenly becoming a pool (as long as you thoroughly spread it around the bowl).

Multiple Little Ones: If you evenly heat them: Will slowly melt into each other. Will be left with a very spread-out puddle, possibly multiple spread out ones.

If unevenly heated: There will be areas meth of varying thickness, accompanied by uneven melting and probable darkening/burning,.

Shake: Will liquify very quickly; little bits that haven’t yet been heated may go to weird parts of the bowl when you begin twisting, so you end up with tiny blotches and a single large or a few smaller puddles.

Loading Product

-Using straw, scoop your product into the chamber. Keeping upright, grab oil pipe and tilt at an angle so that the carb is pointing sideways, or angled down slightly. This will allow you to insert straw opening into carb before tipping the straw, ensuring you don’t miss the hole and lose any.

-Once inserted, twist pipe (while holding onto straw of course) until carb is once again pointing up. Tap straw to get all the little bits into the pipe (if meth is still sticking, use a scraper of some kind).

-Remove straw, and put pipe on level surface, BETWEEN TWO OBJECTS. THE PIPE WILL ROLL PEOPLE, AND WILL SPILL ALL YOUR GODDAMN PRODUCT AND/OR FALL ON THE FLOOR AND BREAK. UGH!

Now that you have a loaded pipe, ensure that you are ready to begin. Suggestions include

-Water

(lots of it!!) Both meth and smoking dehydrate you, and the more dehydrated you are, the more you will suffer from dental damage and brain damage (neurotoxicity). A large amount of methamphetamine neurotoxicity (and most dopamine toxicity) is temperature-dependent, as it often induces hyperthermia (This is similar to MDMA, aka XTC, Molly, rolls, etc). Water cools your body.

You should be urinating with irritating frequency, and should be voiding clear urine, otherwise you are already dehydrated (unless taking assloads of vitamins or something).

-Music

I can’t even describe how much music enhances the experience of smoking meth. It synergizes well-the meth makes the music sound insane, and in turn the music intensifies the high, making me feel even more intelligent/strong/attractive/cool/special. This is the part of the high I crave, and it rarely occurs (at least with the intensity I like) without music.

-Spare lighter/butane refill

When smoking meth, you are always running out of fuel. The spare lighter is also useful because lighters get really hot when ignited for long periods of time (like when smoking meth) and you can swap them out.

-Wet (but not sopping) rag or bundled tissues/paper towels/toilet paper/etc

This is to set the pipe on when not using it (a hot pipe will burn fabrics, fucking up whatever its on as well as the pipe), and to cool down the pipe after a hit. The pipe stays hot for a while, and if you don’t hit it, drugs are being lost/wasted. If you cool the pipe, it will stop heating the drugs faster (duh). Do not do this immediately after getting the pipe really hot-heat and cold on glass can break it. Wait for it to cool slightly, then use it.

When you use the rag to cool underneath liquified dope, it will emit a lot of smoke while crystalizing I read somewhere that the meth actually vaporizes/produces smoke when it hits cooler surface, but I don’t know the validity of that. I do know that cold makes it smoke more though.

-Salt Water

Swishing and gargling salt water while smoking meth (ie after a hit, and definitely after a session) will help prevent canker sores, help kill bacteria (which will inhibit meth mouth) clear mucus in back of throat (which will build up from smoking ice, and may possibly absorb some of it), and prevent sore throat. Its really easy-just add table salt to water (not too much). Some people say to use hot water, but there is more bacteria in hot water pipes, so I use cold.

-Biotene Products

These are oral healthcare products designed to combat dry mouth. There is an oral gel that you kind of spread in your mouth and coats it to act like a artificial saliva. It tastes kinda bad (not awful) and feels weird, but it beats dry/cracking skin, and is good for oral health. They also make alcohol-free (alcohol makes dry mouth worse) mouthwash that I find makes me produce a bnch of saliva for like 10-30 minutes, which can be helpful. They have toothpaste, but that is only to not irritate dry mouth. Finally, they have oral mouthspray, which is apparently the best, but I have not tried yet.

-Weed

Weed makes meth smoking more fun I find. Its hard to describe. Go slow as you may have negative anxiety reaction

Positioning:

The pipe will need to be twisted back and forth, so for me, I hold it in the middle of the stem between my middle finger and thumb. This allows me to easily roll the pipe back and forth. The carb is facing the sky/ceiling, and I have the pipe slanted, so the bowl is slightly closer to the floor than the mouthpiece. This allows me to put my index finger over the mouthpiece. so that when I first heat up the bowl all the initial smoke (that you will not yet inhale because it is not super thick and you want to build up a good hit) goes up the stem and is trapped by my finger rather than out through the little carb hole (which it will do when the stem is filled with smoke). Finally, it also allows me to use my pinky to cover the carb (I rarely do this because often the carb is hot).

Lighter

[Torch] Lighter is held in the other hand, underneath the dope in the bowl. Adjust your flame to lowest setting (if you can). While initially hitting the bowl, since your mouth is not on the mouthpiece, you can hold the pipe in front of you while you heat to gaug distance between flame and bowl, and make sure the flame is under the drugs. However, once you begin inhaling, you have a much worse view (through the bowl), and it is easy to hold the lighter too close (or far, but usually close), or to have it not even under the bowl. Due to poor depth perception (which I assume is from the drugs), or some visual warping from the curvature of the glass, its really easy to do this, and happens a lot. A mirror is helpful so you can see yourself. Another option is attaching flexible tubing (like aquarium tubing) to the mouthpiece so you can inhale through that while holding the pipe in front of you. This will also enable you to make meth bongs (search it).

Philosophy of Smoking Meth

Meth becomes a clear liquid when heated, then vaporizes into a white smoke. The idea is to heat whatever you placei n the pipe evenly so that it all melts down to liquid, then, by twisting the pipe, spread the liquid all around the bowl, so that it doesn’t stay in a hot place for too long and burn. Once liquified, the pipe can be twisted. This allows you to put your flame ahead of the liquid (think of the liquid chasing the flame), so that once the glass is heated, it will fall/roll down the curve towards your lighter and smoke. As you get close carb, you begin to twist the other way, keeping the liquid following your flame. However, with a torch lighter, you can soon twist the pipe without the flame and the liquid will still run for a while, and when it doesn’t is when you reapply the flame.

Quick Info On Torch Lighters

Torch lighters are very hot, much hotter than bics. Their flame is much more intense, and the heat above is much hotter than a bic. Therefore, you must keep much more distance between your lighter and pipe than with a bic. It will vary according to lighter type, pipe thickness, and especially flame size; but my flame is maybe between 1/3 and ½ of an inch, and my lighter stays 1-3 inches away from the pipe; with me increasing distance the longer its lit.

-Also, you do not heat the bowl with a torch lighter for long periods of time like you do a bic. Once it begins to smoke, quit using the lighter, and only reapply once the liquid quits moving when you twist the pipe. Also, be sure to twist pipe while lighting the whole time with a torch lighter, even if it is slowly. You cannot really get away with heating in one spot for a short period of time like you can with a bic.

Smoking

Premelt:

-Keeping your flame 1-2 inches below the bowl, roll flame in a circle around the perimeter of your product, so the outermost portion begins to liquify. Remember to continue moving the flame.

-As it begins to liquify, begin twisting the pipe back and forth. You want to heat the edges of the product and then the glass adjacent to the edges to make it flow there. However, when reversing the direction of the twist, make sure to heat the inside/middle for a moment as well so that it will melt once the dope bordering it has melted.

-Eventually you will have a puddle of liquid that is mobile-stop heating! COntinue to twist the pipe to spread the stuff around and wait for it to recrystalize (turn back into a liquid). You can speed this up by touching pipe with damp rag/paper towels/etc, but I like to let it cool by itself the first time. Wait for the pipe to cool down-its worth it.

Smoking

(this is assuming you are covering the mouthpiece and have the pipe angled like I mentioned in positioning)

-Now you should have a thin puddle of clear crystals stuff. Once again, heat with flame around the perimeter (much bigger this time, but it will also melt faster now because its thinner). Once melted, it should soon begin to smoke. Cease lighting once it begins smoking a fair bit and continue to twist.

-Because you have your finger over the mouthpiece and the pipe angled, the hot vapor will travel up the stem, and be trapped. Once vapor begins to emerge out of the carb hole, quickly take your finger off the stem and begin inhaling (do this quick because the stem is filled with vapor).

To Inhale:

You do not need to actually suck most of the time. With the pipe angled, simply forming a seal on the mouthpiece is usually enough, and if you have to inhale, do not suck like smoking. Instead, inhale like you are breathing but VERY slowly/softly. It takes very little pressure and the bigger hit you get, the better IMO.

Reheating

Use the torch for very brief periods of time. Once the liquid is moving and smoking agian, stop. You can also use more, but never use less once its burned.

Finishing your hit:

If your lungs are full and it is still smoking, cover the carb and mouthpiece and continue twisting. I like to hold my hits for 4-8 seconds, some say blow out right away, but I dont like that. You can also use a damp rag or damp paper towels/toilet paper/napkins/etc and wipe the bowl, to cool it down and make the liquid recrystalize faster (dont do this when the bowl is still super hot because it can break it). This will make it smoke a lot for a second so I like to do it while inhaling.

For Experienced Users:I have found the torch lighter to be far superior to the bic. With the bic, I would experience uneven and slow heating/melting. Now, I have almost instantaneous liquification, followed by thick smoke, and as long as I use the torch sparingly, no darkening of product. The trick is to be patient and methodical:

-Use the torch 1-3 inches away from the bowl

-Move it quickly

-“Encourage” the liquid to trael all over the bowl by leading it with the flame

-Use inward swirling movements, especially during the melting phase

-I recommend using single, squareish crystals for this.

[beybladefanboy]

Top 5 Metal Fusion Episodes

A little while ago, I made a top five worst list of the whole show. Yes, only five because there are way more good episodes than bad ones. My original plan for the best list was a top ten or a top fifteen of the whole show. However, there ended up being so many episodes and comparing the ones from different seasons proved to be too difficult so instead I’m going to do a top five for each of the three seasons, with two honourable mentions because there are just that many good episodes. Okay, let’s get started:

Honourable Mentions

Episode 19: Conquer the Tag-Team Battle

Otherwise known as the Kenta and Benkei switching parts episode. Their behaviour is really silly but Kenta and Benkei’s friendship is really cute and doesn’t get showcased enough.

Episode 32: The Stormy Battle Royal

I don’t have much of an explanation for this one. It’s just really cool seeing a battle royale for the first time in the series (or at least the first really big one) and it’s a really fun battle with a lot going on. Also, Hyoma is rightfully ignored like the boring character he is. (Kidding, kidding.)

5) Episode 43: The Deck is Stacked

Starting this list off with an admittedly very random pick. If you need a refresher on what happened in this episode, it's a lighter one by Battle Bladers standards where Benkei battles Kyoya and Gingka battles Ryutaro and they're both actually really good battles. Benkei actually puts up more a fight against Kyoya than you would expect and it's very satisfying seeing Kyoya respect him as a rival. Gingka and Ryutaro's battle is the more plot-relevant one. Before the battle, Doji essentially tells Ryutaro "if you lose, your energy will be fed to L-Drago," which might as well be death even though it turned out to be temporary. Ryutaro puts up one hell of a fight against Gingka, using a special move where he makes Gingka think he's being burned alive and then frozen to death. That's one of the most brutal special moves in the series. It's actually really messed up. As viewers, we of course know Gingka will win this battle but it's hard not to feel bad for Ryutaro. His methods are still questionable but he was still manipulated and now being threatened with death. And yet when he realizes Gingka has the power to defeat L-Drago, that there is in fact hope, he accepts his defeat and quietly goes to accept his impending death. Overall, just good stuff.

4) Episode 34: Shine, Virgo!

I haven't said it much, but I really love Teru. Out of the side characters in Fusion, he was my favourite. I love the fact that a man with stereotypically feminine interests isn't treated like a joke or a weak punching bag, he's actually capable and respected. He also has this really sweet story about how he was forced to give up his dream of dancing but was able to pick himself back up and find a new passion through Beyblading. It's so genuinely touching and inspiring. I love his fabulous mannerisms and bey and the fact that Gingka had to create Storm Bringer in order to defeat him. Even though he didn't win, Teru was still shown to be a respectful capable blader. It's just a nice episode in general.

3) Episode 25: The Sniper, Capricorn

I love Kyoya. These lists are going to show a Kyoya bias, there's nothing I can do about that. Tobio is a great new character and it's great seeing a sniper as a Beyblader but Kyoya really steals the show. I love seeing him nonchalantly beat the shit out of several bladers at once because he's just so bored of not having any opponents on his level. Then him ignoring Tobio as a power move who becomes more and more desperate to battle him until they finally meet at a tournament and Kyoya just cackles psychotically as Tobio attacks him because “oh my god, an actual challenge?!” It's majestic. Kyoya is so off the rocker in this episode in the best way. Every single frame of him is either him being a rightfully smug bastard or a psychotic masochist and it's fun as hell seeing someone so unhinged that isn't evil. This episode is hilarious, dangit, it's the single funniest episode in Fusion.

2) Episodes 50 and 51: The Furious Final Battle! & Blader’s Spirit

Yeah I'm putting these two together since they're so tightly knit. This is the only time I'll do this for these lists, I swear. You can allow me one exception for the best finale. I don’t think I even really need to explain this one: Gingka’s final battle where he uses all his strength and the strength of his friends’ support for him to free Ryuga from the dark power that has consumed him is just really satisfying. I like that the goal shifts from defeating Ryuga to defeating the dark power, which was created due to humanity’s greed and hatred that consumed him. It’s really well done.

1) Episode 49: Fierce Battle! Lion vs Dragon

This is pretty interchangeable with my previous pick admittedly. I don't know, as epic as the final battle is, I can't help but find this semi final just as epic because of how much I love Kyoya. He really gets a chance to shine in this episode. We know going in that he’s going to lose but still he puts up one hell of a fight against Ryuga. He’s constantly keeping himself from falling or picking himself back up, using his desire to battle Gingka as his drive to keep going even as he’s constantly beat down. I just can’t help but admire that. It’s also worth noting that each attack in this battle after Kyoya challenges Ryuga to use only his natural abilities all have the power of a special move, so each individual hit is like an explosion and still Kyoya isn’t defeated until the dark power takes over Ryuga and stabs Kyoya in the chest. Yeah… that’s one of those moments where I’m glad the show rarely has blood. Overall, this episode is freaking awesome.

[chunhua-s]

Tendou in an enemies to lovers situation 🥺

wew chile, eye— this was longer than i originally planned and that’s due in part to me switching from writing on mobile and my bad word vomit tendencies said ✨start the cameras✨ i originally had a bit of trouble coming up with the solid plot itself while i was losing myself on concepts (nothing new :D just my regular clown shit y’know?) and my sweet goddess @bootylikepeachy was there to tickle my braincells with this “got paired together with your enemy for a class assignment” idea!! bb thank you for brainrotting with me on this, honestly 🥺💖 i dunno if i could have made a final decision if it weren’t for you and your sexy ass brain. i decided leave the ending a bit open?? one to prevent myself from going over 5k words (cause wow, i really hit the slow burn on this one) and two because i kinda like the ambiguity of their relationship after the reader comes to her turning point. since it’s an enemies to lovers type of scenario, i figured it would be better to let things kind of trickle off instead of having it all happen on the same day?? or so it doesn’t feel too rushed or force and i really hope i was successful in doing it justice. i hope you guys will have as much fun reading this as i did writing it!! let me know your thoughts, okay? and as always, thank you for reading!!

SUNSET AND MIDNIGNT ➽ SATORI TENDOU x READER

genre: fluff, slowburn

au: enemies to lovers

warnings: uhhh slowburn? word vomit, ramblings..... that’s about it

tendou is the fall from an ocean cliff. he’s the feeling of the wind sweeping past your body, of your breath disappearing from your lungs and vanishing on the whisps of a blue sky. he’s the dread that wraps around your heart like a vine, the heavy rock that drags you closer and closer to a dive you can’t remember taking. and you, with your heart racing against your ribs so hard that it scars itself with blue and purple bruises, you’re terrified. you’re terrified of heights, of blue waters that run to the deepest parts of the earth and what they don’t show to you. you’re afraid of the heat that comes from a blazing fire and the embers that fly from it on red hazes. it’s the fear of that unpredictability that keeps you away, the fear of being burned and left for dead that leaves you feeling as if you’re walking on egg shells around him.

to you, he’s a variable that you can’t ever be prepared for. a step added to a dance you’d already learned by heart, he messes up your rhythm and throws off your tempo until the melody becomes something you can’t recognize anymore. he leaves you guessing about what comes next — it’s like a game of roulette that he’d dragged you into by a thin chord, wrapped so tightly around your throat that it makes it hard for you to breathe. you hate the feeling of it, hate the way he so easily turned your world on its head and cast the familiarity of monochrome into a scenery of blinding colour. 

you’re pouting, a frown etched across your lips as you methodically stir over your pot, head cocked to the side and one hand resting akimbo on your hip. it’d been well over 30 minutes since you’d started boiling the ingredients over a low flame, and you were beginning to tire from stirring constantly; your arm ached and your shoulders were beginning to feel stiff as you tried rolling them to relieve some of the tension. frustration makes a loud groan slip from your lips as you throw your head back. normally, you’d consider yourself a patient person, yet that very same patience was beginning to run as thin as the liquid that should have been thickening by now. you couldn’t understand why it was taking so long, however. you’d done everything by the book! mixed each ingredient in the order that it’d said to, set the flame on the right level, measured everything correctly, so what was wrong?

you hear a snort come from somewhere behind you, but you don’t turn yourself to look at the red-headed male who sits comfortably atop the other side of your counter, well intent to ignoring him. you had neither the time nor the energy to entertain him right now, but your companion didn’t seem to understand that from the cold shoulder you’d been giving him ever since you two began working on your project together.

“you know you don’t have to keep stirring it, right?” tendou hums between bites of chocolate that slightly muffle his words. you don’t see the way his eyes close and his smile widens on delight for the sweet flavour that melts on his tongue. “you can leave it for about a minute before you have to check up on it again.”

you stubbornly roll your eyes, a huff coming from under your breath that disturbs the strand of hair dangling in front of your face. “that’s not what the book says.” your voice comes out evenly, though there’s nothing you do to cut the edge from your tone as you sigh immediately after. the frown on your lips only deepens with the next few seconds that pass you by.

“and that book was released in 2015.”

it’s invasive in its arrival, the question of why that spits on bitterness and undiluted anger. why were you so unlucky to have been paired up with the one person you couldn’t bear to be around? he was everything that dug under your skin, the symbol of chaos in a place where you’d rather solace and routine. he stands on the opposite end of the colour spectrum; where your life molds with deep purples and blues of a dark midnight, he’s the flaming oranges and reds of a burning sunset. your worlds meet on a collision, a burst of light that would consume entire dimensions and leave nothing but bones and ashes in its wake. 

there’s a pettiness in your hatred for him, a one-sided scorn that bears its fangs on dark poisons that trip like ink. it tells its tale of irrationality in your law of reason, and, you consider, perhaps that was why you hated tendou. perhaps it was the way his voice could so easily insight the burning taste of anger and annoyance on the back of your tongue, where it forms on a large ball that stops inside your throat and makes it hard to breathe without feeling as if you would implode. it’s something you can’t understand, but you despise the feeling it leaves you with when your eyes meet his.

hot, as if you’d been cast into the open arms of hell. 

“well,” you force behind gritted teeth, hearing the noise of them grinding in the back of your head. “i’m gonna stick to what the book says until it gets revised.” 

there’s absolutely no reason for you to be so insistent on something that’s clearly not working, you know that. you’re sure tendou is thinking the same, if the long, drawn out sigh he lets out is anything to go by. it isn’t difficult to imagine his expression, lips pursed together, brows furrowed as his narrowed eyes burn holes into your skin. you’re not sure what exactly is pushing you to be so stubborn, but you blindly let it control your thoughts; you run on impulse and immature decisions that have no place in your life. 

a silence blends with the sounds of your bubbling pot when he doesn’t respond, insighting an urge to glance around and see why he’d suddenly stopped talking that you force away from your mind. the quiet would give you some semblance of peace, you consider decisively: if he’s decided he would no longer disturb you with pointless musings, then what reason would you have to complain?

there’s a touch on your shoulder that causes your heart to latch inside your throat and rushes on uneven beats of a two-second fright that has you freezing on yourself. on instinct, your body turns to meet red eyes and a bemused grin as tendou’s fingers wrap around your wrist, catching the hand that held the mixing spatula you’d been using in your pot. “relax, will you?” he murmurs, a chuckle on his breath — the taste of his mint breath clouds your mind like a ghostly fragrance — as he pries the instrument from between your clenched fist. with narrowed eyes and your guard put up on a weak barrier, you watch closely as he gently sets the spatula against the counter before he finally releases your arm; it falls lifelessly to your side while the feeling of being burned slowly spreads across your skin. “just trust me on this.” 

there’s a hidden promise on his voice, a teasing grin that pulls at his lips and leaves your curiosity ignited on hesitance and uncertainty. you glance at your still bubbling pot, though your gaze isn’t allowed to linger for long as tendou shoves his face into your line of sight with a light chime of “ah-ah-ah.” it was as if he was scolding a child, the thought quickly comes and goes before you can dwell on it — there’s not much chance for you to think about it when tendou’s steering you to your island counter by your shoulders. “sit down for a sec, alright?”

a scowl forms on your lips as he shoves you down into a seat, and you open your mouth to protest when you’re suddenly pacified by the sweet taste on your tongue. slowly, you begin chewing, letting the confusion you feel be washed away by the quickly melting chocolate that fills you with a sense of appreciation. 

“better?”

it’s reluctant, but you give the red haired boy a nod and a small smile, all which he returns with his familiar grin. “i set a timer for one minute,” he informs you, lifting his phone screen to show the seconds counting down from 50. his actions are carefree and relaxed, with his arm resting on the edge of the chair and one of his legs folded beneath him, red hair tousled and flopping over his forehead just like he wears it on campus. he’s attractive, you won’t deny, though you wouldn’t let yourself ever say it out loud. helplessly, you sigh, your shoulders dropping to release the tension from standing for so long and you lift a hand to sheepishly run over your neck as you avoid his gaze.

“fine…”

tendou’s smile widens as soon as you relent, a pleased hum leaves him as he further leans back into the chair. “so,” he begins on a cheerful tone, and your eyes curiously watch him as he opens conversation. “what’re your plans after you finish the course?”

a short moment passes you by where you glance away from him, eyes drifting to the pot on your worry. was it really okay to leave it alone? “uh,” you mutter out on your distracted tone before you center yourself. you take a deep breath and let it out on a soft puff that has your cheeks pushing out slightly before you give your answer. “i wanna open up a coffeeshop.” 

“oh?” when you meet tendou’s gaze, there’s a spark of interest in them, a sheen of gold that lights vermillion red on the afternoon sun. it causes you to become self-conscious suddenly, your hands tangle together in your lap as you avert your eyes almost as quickly as they’d met his. 

“yeah,” you affirm softly. “i’ve always thought that it’d be nice, you know? and i’d be able to relax in a place like that.” 

another hum comes from the man next to you, a low sound that dwells on pondering as he takes in your response. “you do seem like the kind of person who would work in a coffeeshop.” he muses, and his word leaves your mind on pause as the alarm goes off, the soft ringing of a song you don’t know disrupting your thoughts and prompting you to stand up. however, there’s a hand on your shoulder that hurriedly pushes you down before you’re at your full height. “no,no—” tendou urges you, “i’ll do it, you just sit there and rest.” 

you’re not given the chance to argue as he breezily saunters over to your stove, reaching for the spatula while humming that same song from his alarm. it’s not one you’ve heard before, and it’s another thing that leaves you curious as you watch him stir over the bubbling liquid. you notice the way he holds his hand at a weird angle that leaves his elbow jutting out, the way his tall frame has to hunch as if to see the contents better. doesn’t he wear glasses? you’re lost on the thought as you try and recall whether or not you’d seen him wear a pair before. when he turns back to you, his smile is wide and triumphant, a show of all teeth as he moves himself to the side and just barely tilts the pot with his free hand. “would’ja look at that?” he sings, a telling smugness to his tone as he looks at you. you have to lean over the island counter to see the white liquid has thickened considerably more than when you’d been stirring it. “told you to just let it sit for a while and it’d do it’s own thing!”

unable to help the smile that spreads across your lips, you huff and wave a hand across your face in dismissal, harmlessly rolling your eyes at him. “alright, no need to rub it in now,” you chide as he replaces the pot and skips over to your side, large steps that have him swinging his arms back and forth like an excited child. there’s no hiding the glee in his expression when he sits down again and immediately turns to face you, as if he was waiting for you to admit something. and maybe that’s what he was waiting for, but you’re still stubborn when it comes to him, so you only turn your eyes away from him and cross your arms with a false pout. “just set the timer again, will you?” you grumble, and you’re rewarded with laughter that rang as pure and innocent as the sound of trickling water. it leaves you stunned for a moment, echoes in your mind and finds a home inside your chest so that it plays back for you to hear. it’s a beautiful sound, you think; there’s a part of you that wants to hear more. it horrifies you. 

“what about you?” you shake your head as you lean your elbows on top of the counter top, eyes focused on your fingers wrapping around one another rather than to meet vermillion red. the cool feeling of the marble does very little to ease the warmth coursing beneath your skin. “what’re your plans after finishing the course?”

tendou’s laughter dies down like the wind comes to a pause, where the leaves stop rustling on an easy rest as he sighs long and full, his chest rising with the action as he leans backward ever so slightly. “i was thinking of making chocolate,” he tells, tilting his head and lending his gaze to the scenery outside your window. it gives you the courage to look back at him, at the sight of his figure bathed in sunlight where the gold bounces off his skin like a gem. with his expression set on pensive and his eyes bearing a wandering glint, he looks nearly ethereal inside your kitchen, a picture of immortality that you’ve never bothered to look at before now. he glows under a melting light, the picture of him robs you of air and leaves you gasping, desperate for your blood to start flowing the way it had before. 

it’s when his eyes find yours that you relearn how to breathe.

his gaze is half-lidded, touched by a visual of content that makes him look at peace, nearly drowsy as his hand supports the weight of his head. the smile on his lips is slight, the kind that quirks the corners of your lips and tells you a story of effortless charm. 

“is there any particular reason?” you hate that your voice comes out weak, that it breaks on it’s departure and tumbles out of your lips like white feathers flutter from the sky. the onslaught of emotion leaves you reeling, your center of gravity cast from your body and you struggle to find your footing over uneven ground, all while he watches you, red eyes picking you apart and leaving bear to him the parts of yourself you’ve never seen. a boyish smile settles over his lips as he turns his head to fully face you, leaning forward ever so slightly, but it’s enough so that you’re once again able to taste peppermint on his breath. it washes over your skin like an autumn wind, leaves a chill that reminds you of the first signs of snow on the throws of a mid-summer’s heat.

“not really,” he confesses with a shrug, carefree and unbothered while he leaves you as the perfect image of flustered. his voice is low, like a whisper. it’s hushed, and you’re able to hear something of a sigh on his words that leaves you to wonder about the way the sunlight reflects off of pools of red, how the golden hue makes them appear like the butterscotch candies you’d snack on between classes. “i just… like sweet things.”

“oh.” 

you’re reminded of the taste of caramel when you think of tendou. it comes as a surprise when you take the first bite into a chocolate bar, an unexpected drop of golden sweetness that makes you pause for, if only, just a second to properly let its flavour spread across your tongue. he’s the warmth of sunset that embraces your body, the feeling of the waves that brush against your toes, the sand that fills with water and wraps around your feet. you’re left on the shoreline to watch in awe as flames of orange and red dance on the ocean’s surface, where the blazes and embers of a passion unimaginable to your midnight moon leave traces of ethereal gold in its wake. 

there’s a sudden thought that invades your mind, slow like molasses and just as bittersweet; you want to sink beneath those burning waters, to let them cover you from head to toe and consume all that you are. until your heart learns his melody and your body falls to his tune.

there’s a part of you that yearns after satori tendou, and the realization if it scares you. 

you’re the first to look away when the timer sounds once more, your face burns and you purse your lips together while your hands tangle together on your lap. beside you, tendou arises wordlessly to saunter over to the pot, humming once more to the tune that continues to play from his phone. it doesn’t sound like a typical alarm, and it leaves you intrigued by it’s upbeat melody.  “what song is that?” you curse the way your voice breaks, clearing your throat and hoping that he didn’t pick up on it. why were you suddenly becoming such a mess? 

tendou answers you a bit distractedly while he tilts the pot from side to side, his head cocked in contemplation and his expression pensive. “it’s called circus,” he glances at you from over his shoulder and uses his free hand to gesture you forward before reaching for the pair of yellow, sunflower-themed muffins you left to sit close-by. “bring the chocolate for me, would’ja?” you meet him just as he’s moving your pot to sit on your counter, the plate of chopped up chocolate bits in your hand while he moves to the side to let you dump them into the mixture. “i found it on this playlist from youtube and i kinda got obsessed with it.” 

you take in his words over the light-hearted melody that plays from his phone, enjoying the sound of it before it cuts off and sets to snooze since tendou hadn’t turned it off. it leaves you wanting to hear more, and you wish it would have played on for a little bit longer as you set the plate to the side. “can i look it up?” you ask; the thought that it was silly to ask for his permission rings in your head before you can stop it, and you feel your face heating up when he looks up from mixing the chocolate to you, his eyes alight with amusement and his smile teasing. 

“go ahead,” he chuckles, giving his attention back to the pot after casually waving a hand in the air. “mind bringing me the setting tray?”

it doesn’t take you too long to open up the youtube app, your fingers typing in the name of the song before you pause and glance over to your partner. “is it the one by showmore?”

“yup!”

soon, the familiar intro bleeds into your kitchen space, filling up the absence of conversation between you and tendou as he bobs his head along to its sound. you’re left to lean against the counter, your hands folded beneath you while he pours out your chocolate mixture into the little cube shapes in the tray. what you feel is a comfort, a type of quiet happiness that calms your breath on the sound of drums and the piano that blends with the singer’s voice. “it sounds nice,” you mutter quietly, unable to help the way your head nods in time to the melody. 

tendou shoots you an excited smile. “it does, right?? i’ve been listening to it nonstop ever since i found it.” his enthusiasm draws a laugh from you, a grin stretches across your face as you watch him sway side to side. it’s an adorable picture of him dancing and smiling so brightly, and when he looks up at you with excitement in his eyes, you feel your heart skip a beat. 

“wanna dance?”

“huh?”

the question catches you off guard, leaves you to stare wide-eyed at his back as he pops the tray into the freezer before turning back to face you. his grin widens and becomes almost teasing when he sees your stunned expression. “c’mere!” he urges you with an eagerness, his hand waving you over.

“tendou, i—” you avert your gaze, feeling your skin warm up once more as you murmur your answer. “i can’t dance…” 

he makes his way over to you in a sequence of movements you can’t hope to describe — it’s almost like a prance, where his steps are exaggerated and his shoulders lift up in a kind of rocking motion while he’s snapping his fingers to the beat. “that’s fine!” he grins at you just as he reaches out for your hand, pulls you to your feet and coaxes you from behind your island counter. “i can’t either!” 

for a moment, you’re caught between amused and hopelessly confused while the man before you lifts your arms like wet spaghetti, letting him swing them between your bodies as if you were a puppet, and he the puppeteer. he’s beaming at you so widely that it’s almost ridiculous, but he seems so vivid and joyous while he maneuvers your limbs, and it causes broad laughter to bubble up from your chest as your body doubles over. it’s a pure, weightless type of laughter that leaves you, like the chiming of bells on the summer wind. it echoes over the music, and when tendou joins in with you, there arises between you both a new kind of song, whose story is found at the evening time when the world holds her breath. it’s a harmony that’s carefree, like the fall from an ocean cliff, like the breath that vanishes from your lungs and cries on laughter beneath the blue sky. it’s the feeling of your fears melting, and when your body finally plunges between those fireset waves, you’re wondering why you were scared in the first place. 

“that’s it!!” the excitement in tendou’s voice is infectious, his smile as bright as the sun itself when your fingers intertwine with his and your body finally moves on its own. here begins a dance between you two where he pulls you in closer, and when you pull away, your hands remain intertwined. an irresistible force that you can’t help being drawn to, that spins you around his fingers and wraps you in his arms, all while eyes of the sweetest sunset promise you gold on your midnight sky. the feeling inside your chest is warm, sets through your body like a quiet buzz and it leaves you wanting more, so that the yearning you feel would only ever be satisfied by him.

your hand in his feels like a slow burning flame, and as the both of you are laughing with a song you create with each other, you realize that you’re no longer afraid of its heat.

taglist: @aiiishiiiteru @bootylikepeachy @tsumue @waitforitillwritemywayout @mixxfi @shnnn

send an ask to be added or removed!! (also pls lemme know if i’m forgetting anyone? i think i got you all but just in case)

[onion-souls]

Hello my Pun-Puns, this week's Unearthed Arcana review sees one of the more obvious patches in the history of UA, three feats, and some new dragon-themed spells (kinda?). See, in Dungeons & Dragons, there are two draconic-themed races – the Dragonborn, which is shit, and the Kobold, which is actually good but people were mad that their “funny and unique” kobold barbarian wasn't actually as strong as a 7′ 250lb. half-orc. This is the fix.

Usual post-Tasha's changes – chose your attribute bonuses, languages, etc.

We get three new subtypes of Dragonborn. Chromatics and Metallics are split, while we get another sign that the Gem dragons are coming to 5e, filling out the rest of the damage types – force, radiant, psychic, thunder and necrotic.

All three kinds get a breath weapon, which now replace attacks rather than full Actions. All Chromatic and Metallics use Constitution saves, while Gems are dexterity, which feels backwards to me – Save vs. (elemental) breath weapon was the original Reflex/Dexterity save, while a blast of Force, Psychic, Thunder, or Necrotic damage feels more like something you just have to endure and power through than jump out of the way of- especially necrotic and psychic – not even sure how you dodge a psychic “breath.” The damage scaling issue is only slightly fixed here, using d8s rather than d6s, but the huge boost is that, rather than once per short rest, you can use this a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus per long rest, which pulls ahead at high levels.

Next come your standard Draconic Resistance, which is the same as the normal dragonborn, and expected.

Next up comes the fun add-on. Chromatic dragons, once per long rest, can shift from Resistance to Immunity for ten minutes. This isn't usually that useful, as resistance is usually enough, but very good for niche exploration in, say, acidic bogs or lava filled areas. A Red Chromatic could possibly speed run the Plane of Fire with this. It also has strong interactions with AOE spells, especially ones that linger like Incendiary Cloud, Stinking Cloud, and Cloudkill.

Metallics get a secondary breath weapon, which replaces one attack per long rest (and does not count towards base breath weapon uses). These can be either a Save vs. 20 foot push and knock prone effect or a Con save vs. becoming incapacitated until the start of your next turn.

Gem dragons are given two features here- 30 ft., one-way telepathy, and Gem flight at 3rd level, allowing you to summon gem-wings as a bonus action. For a minute, you gain a fly (hover) speed equal to your walking speed. Once per long rest.

Over all, a nice patch. Gem dragons might be a bit ahead of the pack though, but Fire and Poison immunity are quite nice.

Kobolds are no longer pathetic and are instead badass fearless warriors or sorcerers, but in exchange for all their flavor and uniqueness. They are small 30ft. speed creatures with standard darkvision rather than sunlight sensitivity.

You then get to chose a Draconic Legacy: your choice between Advantage vs. Frightened condition, OR one cantrip of your choice from the Sorcerer spell list – your choice of spellcasting ability, OR the ability to make tail attacks at 1d6+ Strength bludgeoning damage.

Finally, they get a Draconic Roar, a bonus action (proficiency bonus/long rest) that gives you and allies advantage on attack rolls against creatures within 10 feet of you.

This feels like an overcorrection that doesn't feel like a D&D kobold (I especially hate the Frightened condition advantage, which make you wonder why this species gets it and not, say, Goliaths, Orcs, Hobgoblins, etc.). But, mechanically, it's incredibly strong as a rogue – a small creature with medium speed (like the goblin), dark vision, the ability to pick up Booming or Green-Flame Blade (potentially as a wisdom cantrip), and a source of on-demand party advantage. Booming Blade as a wisdom cantrip also makes this a solid choice for a Tempest Cleric, of all things.

Finally, Feats, which are dragon themed, but not actually restricted by race.

Gift of the Chromatic Dragons. Lets you use a bonus action once per long rest to add an extra 1d4 (chromatic damage type) for one minute. Also, when you take acid, cold, fire, lightning, or poison damage, you can gain resistance as a reaction, proficiency/long rest. What's good here is that you are not locked in to a damage type when you chose this – say, you're not getting a Gift from a Green Dragon and stuck with poison – so this is a nice Absorb Elements like effect, very useful as a high level Feat choice when you start fighting dragons. It's actually better as a Dragonslayer-flavored feat, actually.

Gift of the Metallic Dragon is a bit stranger as it gives you access to Cure Wounds once per long rest, and with any spell slots you have, and your choice of Spellcasting Ability. Which isn't something Metallics have, even with the variant caster rules. You also gain a defensive reaction – add a d4 Shield-like AC Bonus to an attack against a creature with 5' of you, Proficiency/long rest.

This is really, really bad. Cure Wounds is easy to get through other spell-granting feats, and not that great of a healing spell - Wizards who want it should take the superior Artificer Adept feat, while everyone else has better options than a precious ASI. And shield is a must have spell, but it's good because a guaranteed +5 AC lets you intuit AC values and the worth of your spell slots vs. the hit. A d4's randomness is terrible, and only really useful for situations where your AC is beaten by 1 or 2. And likewise, that 5' range is horrible, especially on what's supposed to be a magical effect. At 15' or so, this could be mediocre party support, or if it could be added to Saving Throws. Here, it's trash.

Gift of the Gem Dragons starts with an Int, Wis, Cha ability score bonus of 1. Its defensive reaction is a telekenetic 10' push that deals 2d8 force damage when you are hit by a creature within 10' of you (proficiency/long rest). Pretty bad, to be honest. The damage doesn't scale, it doesn't actually effect the hit (so most spellcasters would probably prefer a Shield here if they have spell slots open), Strength is the worst save vs. most melee monsters, and 10' isn't that great of a clearance affect, basically a little disengage. Pass on this one too.

Finally, the Spells. Draconic transformation is a 7th level spell with a one time 500gp cost and a bonus action casting time and concentration. For this, you get 30' of blind sense, 40 ft. fly speed, and a bonus action 30' cone breath weapon, 3d8 force damage on a Dexterity save (half on a success). This is OK bonus action damage and some OK effects, but this is a 7th level concentration spell, when something like this should be a bit more of a game changer. Especially when compared to the concentration free, bonus action damage of Crown of Stars. Paired with flight, though, might push it into competition.

Fizban's Plantinum Shield is a 6th level abjuration spell, 1 minute of concentration for a shield you can move to another character as a bonus action. It sheds 5' of dim light, provides half-cover, resistance to elemental damage, and an evasion effect on Dexterity saving throws.  This is a decent abjuration spell, especially in that underpopulated school, but I wish it was a bit more party friendly and worked against Constitution saves, as this is definitely supposed to be a dragon-fighting spell, and, say, the Green Dragon breath is a Con save. Still, evasion is one of the best defensive features in the game.

Flame Stride is very cool. A bonus action spell that adds 20 feet to your movement, prevents opportunity attacks against you, and burns any creature within 5' feet of you when you move (once per turn), which both scale with spell slot. The problem is that as a 5th level transmutation spell, it directly competes with Haste. And it only has a range of Self. But the burn effect could be cool on something like a Tabaxi or Bladesinger. Shame about that range, because it would be a fun gift for a monk or grappler barbarian.

Icingdeath's Frost, named after the dragon Ingeloakastimizilian, whose name has a stupid translation, rather than Drizzt's scimitar with a stupid name. In any case, think baby 3d8 Cone of Cold at 2nd level,  but with an interesting rider that a failed save also covers the target in ice, dropping speed to 0 unless you use an action to break it. Pretty cool for a 2nd level evocation.

Nathair's Mischief is interesting, a 2nd level illusion spell that requires an apple pie crust component that fills a 20ft cube with draconic and fey magic, randomly determined by a chart. And you can move the cube a bit, as you concentrate for a minute. These random effects are a Wisdom vs. Charm, Dex vs. Blind, Wisdom vs. incapacitation, or Difficult terrain. Not particularly strong, but certainly appealing to fans of random magic and fey flavor. One thing I don't get is that “draconic” flavor – this is pure quirky fey, and trying to tie it to a fairie dragon seems pretty weak.

Raulothim's Psychic Lance is either a bog standard blast of psychic force, but you can of the creature's name. If you know the creature's name, the target gains no benefit from cover or invisibility from the following damage – the target then succeeds on an Int save or takes 10d6 psychic damage and is incapacitated until the start of your next turn.. Mediocre damage for a 4th level single target attack, but it's the best save and one of the better damage types. The naming rider is fascinating, and seems like another go at True Name magic.

Summon Draconic Spirit fills in a conspicuous gap in Tasha's Summoning Spells, coming in at 5th level and allowing for a Chromatic, Gem, or Metallic dragon. It is a large creature, with 14+ Spell level AC, 50+10 HP per level above 5th, and 80 feet of fly speed. At 19 Strength and 17 Con, this thing is a beast, and they resist all of the Chromatic/Metallic damage times or all the Gem types, once of which is shared with you upon summoning and is used for its 2d6 breath weapon. It can use its breath weapon and attack, starting with 2 melee attacks that deal 1d6+spell level piercing damage. Which is fine, but seems a bit low for a dragon. The rather interesting alternative is using the Strength 19 and large size to grapple and then fly an opponent 80 feet into the air for a drop.

[docholligay]

Chinese Food in The American West

One of the things I frequently come across as a student of the American West* is that people get most of their information from movies and TV and then act like they know things. Wyatt Earp was not a Lawful Good champion who always did his level best even when it was hard to know. (You want Seth Bullock or Bass Reeves). Racism was far more complicated than white vs not white (I’ve talked about this EXTENSIVELY in Strange Empire, so I’m not going to bore you here**). 

And they didn’t just eat steak. In fact, they rarely ate steak. 

Steak as cowboy food isn’t INACCURATE, but it is MODERN. From about the early 1900s on, you had less and less drives and more and more ranchers who were staying put, with less and less hands needed, and so food was grabbed less “on the go.” Cows could be slaughtered and used to feed the family, allowing for more opportunities for things like steak, yes, but also things like chili, a play on sauerbraten, southern-style biscuits. The cattle drives were a real blend of culture and race, and a lot of what we have left as “Western food” owes a great deal to that. 

And if we leave the cattle drives and head into the towns of the American West, as we will today, we find things like oysters, pies, and various things like that. Far more well-heeled than the general expectation. 

I mean, here’s the menu from the Occidental Saloon circa the late 1880s:

Soups

Chicken Giblet and Consumme, with Egg

Fish

Columbia River Salmon, au Beurre Noir

Relieves

Filet a Boeuf, a la Financier

Leg of Lamb, Sauce, Oysters

Cold Meats

Loin of Beef, Loin of Ham, Loin of Pork, Westphalia Ham, Corned Beef, Imported Lunches

Boiled Meats

Leg of Mutton, Ribs of Beef, Corned Beef and Cabbage, Russian River Bacon

Entrees

Pinons a Poulett, aux Champignons

Cream Fricasse of Chicken, Asparagus Points

Lapine Domestique, a la Matire d'Hote

Casserole d'Ritz aux Oeufs, a la Chinoise

Ducks of Mutton, Braze, with Chipoluta Ragout

California Fresh Peach, a la Conde

Roasts

Loin of Beef, Loin of Mutton, Leg of Pork

Apple Sauce, Suckling Pig, with Jelly, Chicken Stuffed Veal

Pastry

Peach, Apple, Plum, and Custard Pies

English Plum Pudding, Hard Sauce, Lemon Flavor

This dinner will be served for 50 cents.

-I got this from the book “Saloons of the Old West” by Erdoes

But none of that is precisely why I’m here, I just can’t stop myself from talking about this, why I’m here is that one of the things I say that often surprises people, is that Chinese food was incredibly common for the, well, common man to eat. There’s very much a conception that we as a non-Chinese American  people did not start eating Chinese food until the 40s and 50s, and its truer that it took longer to catch on in the American East than the West simply as a matter of proximity and choice. 

Not MORE choice but LESS. Part of what made the West so unique, historically, is that the lack of choice and the basic scarcity caused people to work with and patronize people that their general prejudices would have kept them from using back east, because they had CHOICES. But out in the west, less so. There were few choices for a quick, cheap meal on the go. That dinner I just posted above is a lavish affair, and a great deal at approximately $20.00 in today’s money. (Which does not allow for the fact that cost of supplies has gone up and this dinner would most likely be offered for no less than 70 or so today.) 

People desperately wanted something that was cheap and quick, and the other options in the American West were few, far between, and not intensely pleasing. No one had really come up with the sandwich shop as of yet, and in any case, fresh meats and cheeses would have been too difficult for the low-cost supplier. 

ENTER THE CHINESE POPULATION.

If you have read my Strange Empire blogs, I hope you know that Chinese people were a huge presence in the American West, mostly working for the railroad and various mines, but also doing things like laundry, work that was extremely hard but took little in the way of English speaking. They existed in Chinatowns, for a combination of cultural and legal factors, but it’s a misconception that non-Chinese*** people never went to Chinatown. 

People are not new, and it was not unusual for non-Chinese people to use the laundries, tailoring, and other services of Chinatowns while suppressing the rights of Chinese people int he same breath. There were always individual Chinese people any given non-Chinese person liked and did business with. 

In time, they discovered the inherent wisdom of the noodle bowl. 

I don’t mean to suggest that all these early restaurants served was noodle bowls, but that was where it all started. Remember, Italian food had little prominence in America at the this time, as Italian immigration didn’t really get into full swing until the 1870s in America. While there are noodle traditions half of everywhere, and there is nothing new under the sun, what we today would consider a stir-fry bowl was wildly new to most of the non-Chinese folks in the West. That it could be offered up so cheaply, was so filling, and so delicious (more on this later) was a wild revelation. Everyone from simple cowboys (which, fun fact! Was a slur back then!) to mayors were swinging by Chinatowns to try the dishes. 

By the 1920s, chop suey, a fully Chinese American invention derived from the words for “various leftovers” was a hugely popular American food among all sorts. 

Doc, you may ask, was it just that these folks coming through to get medicines or laundry were SO adventurous? Not at all! Chinese restaurants back then actually, in a very short amount of time, realized that their non-Chinese townsfolk were an excellent way to make money as well, and began to adapt and change dishes to better fit the Western palate, leading what we call American Chinese Food today, which is a legitimate foodway I will defend to my death. Unfortunately, none of these menus survive today--the only ones we have are from places in San Francisco, places that were much more posh, and not the subject of this essay. 

There is a scene in Tombstone where Wyatt and his brothers are eating Chinese food, and it’s one of the things people often ask me about, assuming it’s anachronistic. Actually, it isn’t at all--the anachronism is that there’s broccoli in those noodle bowls, which had not yet hit our shores by the time of the OK Corral. Chinese food was a huge hit, Chinese restaurants were doing extremely well, and some Chinese restaurants were even beginning to attempt to print menus in English, with sit down areas, instead of serving simple fare from food carts. 

As the food from these “chow chow houses” grew in popularity, as we can infer from the advertisements of their competitors promising free potatoes with every meal, and other such niceties to entice, there was, as ever there must be, blowback. Anti-Chinese sentiment grew to a fever pitch, and with this came overt pressure for ‘Good Americans” to patronize ‘American restaurants’. The social pressure is actually where we get some of that old racist jargon about Chinese people serving dogs and cats, which people often think was spread by competitors to degrade the Chinese restaurants, which isn’t UNTRUE, but was just as often said sheepishly by someone who couldn’t stop themselves from going and grabbing a noodle bowl or even the American dishes they offered, such as roast chicken or pork chop sandwiches. 

(I won’t comment with anything but an eyeroll on the bullshit of people saying they’re ~allergic to MSG~ okay I’ll believe you when you stop eating processed food, meat, aged cheese) 

It actually kept this type of reputation as being slightly scandalous well into the early 1900s, as being something you ate after the bar, something to be had in the shadows, but it was all for naught, because Chinese food became an important part of American identity. But for all that, no one ever pictures the Lone Ranger chowing down (the American phrase ‘chow’ for food actually comes from these ‘chow chow houses’) on some chop suey, but there’s every reason to believe he would have. American Chinese food is just as American as the Germanically-influenced hamburger. 

(There’s a whole subtopic to go down about Jewish and Chinese communities and Kosher Chinese Food, two marginalized and othered communities coming together, but that’s a WHOLE other topic) 

(Also someone please buy me Chinese food. This shit always makes me so hungry.) 

*The American West is a specific time period, as far as the study of history goes. It covers the period between the end of the Civil War and the New Century, generally, and is, obviously, concerned with the western half of the country. It doesn’t cover stuff like Lewis and Clark (that’s Expansion) or even the Civil War itself, though you cannot possibly hope to study the American West in any level of seriousness without understanding the Civil War. Anyway! I know a lot about America between 1865 and 1900, and am just knowledgeable enough to be dangerous on everything else. Most History nerds are highly specified like this. We’re not as much help to your trivia team as you think.****

**I actually have had little chance to talk about ~European-style xenophobia~ as it played out in the west, because Strange Empire takes a more modern pass at it. But there was a hierarchy of “whiteness” as well, as still largely exists in Europe, land of intentionally clean ethnostates. 

***I use the term “non-Chinese” instead of white because believe it or not, non-white people were not magically free of racism against Chinese people. It was horrific and BASICALLY every non-Chinese person was guilty of it to some level, a wild-ass level of hatred that led to Chinese folks not being able to PURCHASE PROPERTY BY LAW in ENTIRE STATES. Being Chinese or Native in this place and time was your Worst Bet. 

****I actually was on a competitive trivia team, you DO want me.

[askkrenko]

Krenko’s Guide to Pokemon: Eevee Line Part 5: The Abomination and the Future

Art by Kuisuku

SYLVEON

Stats: 

With its 130 in Special Defense and a 95 HP, Sylveon makes for a great special tank. 65 Physical Defense is low, but the HP helps even it out, and 110 Special Attack lets it deliver solid hits. 

Abilities:

Cute Charm is a weak ability that’s even weaker on Sylveon. Cute Charm has a 30% chance to make an enemy of the opposite gender (under 50% chance) attracted on a hit that causes contact, which then gives them a 50% chance to skip their turns attacking Sylveon. This is just far, far too low odds to do anything at all, and as Sylveon is a Special tank, not a Physical tank, it can’t rely on soaking hits from moves that make contact.

Pixilate, on the other hand, is bonkers. Pixilate changes all of Sylveon’s ‘Normal’ moves to ‘Fairy’ moves, giving STAB, and then further increases their damage by 20%. The only thing holding this back is that Sylveon’s strongest Normal attacks are physical, but Hyper Voice is still good enough to make this ability powerful.

Art by ShupaMikey

Moves:

Pixilate turns Hyper Voice into an effective 108 power STAB move working off a 110 Special Attack. That’s a lot better than most Pokemon get. Arguments can be made for Moonblast’s 95 power and 30% chance to lower Special Attack, but that’s all meta dependent.

As a second fairy move, it’s not unreasonable for Sylveon to take Draining Kiss, though like other Eeveelutions it can take Wish for a Healing move, possibly backed up by Protect, and 95 base HP makes it a decent wish passer, too- especially with Baton Pass and Heal Bell as options.

Unlike many other Eevees, Sylveon actually gets good coverage. While Fairy attacks don’t work well on Fire, Poison, or Steel types, Psyshock is super-effective against Poison and Mystical Fire is super-effective against Steel.  While there’s nothing here to use on FIre types, Fire fortunately isn’t super-effective against Fairy, so Sylveon can at least try to hit with Psyshock a few times. 

Art by JA-Punkster

Overall:

Sylveon’s Pixilated Hyper Voice is a serious boon over most other Pokemon, and Fairy is a solid defensive type. These abilities combined mean that as long as it has other useful moves- either coverage attacks or the ability to heal your other Pokemon- there’s plenty of opportunity to use Sylveon.

It’s still a hideous abomination with furry tentacles, though, and I’m not okay with that.

THE FUTURE:

Fake Eeveelutions by badafra

Everyone loves Eevee, and that means there will probably be more Eevee evolutions in the future. Though we can’t know when each will come, we can make some decent assumptions based on what we already see.

First off, we’ve already doubled up on 130 Special Attack and 130 Special Defense. Second, our current Eevee lineup leans far more to Special Attack and Special Defense than the Physicals. The aligned stats so far are 110 HP, 95 Attack, 95 Defense, 65 Special Attack, and 60 Special Defense. Thus, I expect our next Eevee to have most of those numbers, with one of the mentioned 95s being its 130, and a speed of 65. This would make for a seriously physically defensive Pokemon, with either decent or very strong attacks. It’d have Return or Double Edge available as a physical attack, plus hopefully something good from its typing.  Sounds like FIghting or Rock to me. Maybe Steel. Ground tends to be faster. 

Fake Eeveelutions by Versiris

With Eevee getting Shadow Ball and Iron Tail, we can assume a Ghost Eevee will be a special attacker and a Steel one physical, but of course there’s opportunity for Eeveelutions without a good attack stat. 

I’d be curious to see an Eevee with high speed and HP, but 65 in both attack stats. Perhaps that would be a Ghost or Poison type, working to disable the enemy without actually doing heavy damage.

At this point in the patterns, I expect Eeveelutions to continue until they’ve hit all the types (except perhaps Normal), though it may be difficult to justify a Dragon Eevee or a Bug Eevee, as those are a bit more ‘creature type’ than elemental.

Fake Eeveelutions by Cachomon

Overall Overall:

Every Eevee is interesting and has its own niches, but some are a lot better or nicheworthy than others. Despite all having the same total stats, Flareon’s crippled defensively by having two good attack stats, and few Eeveelutions have relevant coverage. Shadow Ball is helpful, but that’s the only off-type attack most of them can learn that does relevant damage. 

The big factor in competence, though, is abilities. Pixilate and Magic Bounce are leagues ahead of what Leafeon and Glaceon get, and even with similar abilities, Vaporeon’s Water Absorb goes a lot farther than Jolteon’s Volt Absorb by virtue of having much higher defenses and thus being more able to take advantage of a heal on a switch-in.

Statwise, the Eeveelutions are all pretty decent for a fully-evolved Pokemon at 525, about on the level of a final form starter, but their big advantage tends to be the moves they can learn as Eevee: Wish, Baton Pass, Protect, and Heal Bell are a great lineup of moves for a defensive Pokemon, though it’s a bit hard to get Wish and Heal Bell. This tends to give an edge to the defensive Eevees over the offensive ones in actual usability, but they’re all playable.

...Even Flareon, if he’s willing to knock himself out in the process. 

Art by Shade of Shinon