#when I daydream or I’m lying in bed envisioning where I want to be

[cheaphandjob]

.

[xxsabitoxx]

Pale Blue Part 2 TEASER

Geto Suguru x Pregnant Reader

Warnings: this fic IS CANON COMPLIANT, if you have not caught up to the "gojo's past" arc in the manga or anime, you will be spoiled. This teaser does not contain anything more than kissing and suggestive moments between reader and suguru

Flashback~

“Did you really mean what you said last week?” You set your pen down, looking across your room to see Suguru sitting at your desk. You were both working on different assignments but still wanted to spend time together. “Hmm?” Suguru set his own pen down, turning his body to look at you where you sat on your own bed. “About… ya know… wanting to get me pregnant.” You watched a shy smile pass over Suguru’s face as he sighed. “Yeah… I meant it.” He started softly, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. You had to chuckle at the fact that Suguru had stuffed an extra pen through his bun, just in case the other died while writing. “I guess you could say I have baby fever.” 

“Baby fever, huh?” you teased, putting your notebook to the side as you did. “Yeah, baby fever. I just… fuck I don’t know it’s been a thought on my mind for a while now. I keep seeing these happy families, their small children giggling and playing and… I started daydreaming about what it would be like to be a father. When I envisioned our baby, fuck my heart just melted.” he sighed, face turning a little red before he continued on. “I started thinking about how cute you’d look pregnant, how cute you’d be as a mom. How sweet it would be to hear their little voice calling you mama.” Your lips parted, completely entranced by the world he was painting you. 

“Suguru.” you stated rather bluntly, smiling as his head shot up to look at you. At some point in his rambling, he had begun staring into space, as if envisioning the things he talked about. “Y-yeah?” You laugh softly, crawling off your bed and crossing the small space until you stand before him. “Come here.”  You smile, hands gently cupping his cheeks and forcing his head to look up at you. “ I love you so much.” You started softly, thumb gingerly brushing along the plains of his cheekbone. Suguru swallowed, brown eyes observing every inch of your face. “I love you too.” He breathed, subconsciously leaning into your touch. “If you’re serious, if you truly want a baby…”

“I do.” 

Your lips parted before you smiled brightly, giggling a bit at his instant reassurance. “... then I am more than willing to try and conceive.”  You hadn’t intended for it to come out so seductive, but the way Suguru’s breathing hitched told you it had a dual effect. “Really?” You nodded, thumb still gently caressing his cheeks. “I know we’re young and all, but I think there is no time better than the present to chase your dreams.” You snorted at your own cheesiness, laughing as Suguru’s arms came around your waist to hug you tightly. “Thank you.” his voice was soft, just above a whisper. “You know, I have to ask, Suguru… especially since you seemed to put a ton of thought into this.” 

“Yeah? Anything. Ask away.” You reached up and tugged the pen out of his bun, fingers moving to delicately pull his hair out of the bun itself. You always enjoyed it when he had his hair down. “What was the moment that made you realize it was more than just a desire, that it was something you actually wanted. I know you said you saw families and all that but… you’re a man of purpose. Something in particular egged you on and I’m dying to know what.” From the way his cheeks turned red, you knew you had hit the nail on the head. He wasn’t lying about the baby fever, but you knew him too well to know that it wasn’t just an accumulation of events. 

One thing in particular had been his “breaking point” of sorts. 

“Alright you caught me.” he sighed deeply, eyes glancing away from you before looking up again. “Remember that weekend I went home to visit family?” You nodded, hands sliding down to rest on his shoulders. Suguru’s arms opened, allowing you to climb onto his lap as he spoke. “Well, my cousin had just had her baby a few weeks prior. Since she knew I was coming home to visit for the weekend, she came over with her new baby to introduce us.” You nodded again, humming thoughtfully as you twirled some of his hair around your fingers. “I don’t think I’ve ever held a baby before.” He added, cheeks a rosy pink instead of flaming red. 

“And when she put that little baby in my arms I… fuck I just melted.” 

He swallowed, finding it endearing that you were so invested in every word he spoke. “I just remember thinking that… there was nothing more special than that bond. The bond between mother and child… between father and child. I found myself imagining what it would be like to hold my own newborn… and I was serious when I said every time I envisioned it, they always looked like you.” He relaxed a bit when you leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek before pulling away again. “That’s a beautiful reason, you know.” You hugged him after saying it, letting your chin rest on his shoulders as his arms encompassed your waist and squeezed. 

“I want to be a dad, I’ve known that from the very moment I held that baby. But I… if you aren’t ready… I don’t want to force you to do anything.” The vulnerability in his voice made your heart squeeze, it was very rare that Suguru was openly shy about something. “No time better than the present, ya know.” You whispered it again, feeling his breath stutter as you spoke. “Really?” he breathed out again, as if in disbelief that you were saying yes despite already agreeing once before. You nod, trying to contain your smile. “It’s not like it’ll happen right away, it takes time. Most couples have to try for a while before they strike gold.” 

“I guess that is true, there are a lot of factors that go into this… it’s a miracle that women are even able to conceive in the first place when you truly look at it.” you felt yourself giggling, finding it cute that Suguru had clearly put some research into this whole idea too. He wanted it, so bad, you couldn’t bear the thought of not trying to give it to him. “So… what do you say, shall we start now?” you pulled away from his hug, grinning deviously at him. “Right now?” Suguru looked shocked, eyes wide and lips slightly parted before he was able to collect his thoughts. “Yeah, right now.” studies could wait, of course they could. Suguru knew that just as well as you did. 

Suguru answered you with a kiss, lips melting against your own as his hands clung to your waist. 

[post-traumatic-heartbreak]

7/5/23 @ 9:58pm

I am meant for more than Chicago. To experience more than my surroundings. I have struggled immensely from low self-worth for most of my 29 years of living, so this new outlook is foreign. I am uncertain about what to make of it or how to navigate it. Now that I have a healthy sense of self, I struggle with feeling like a narcissist?.. that I am better than others around me. I know I am not, so why do I feel so out of place? Why does no one want to explore & evolve with me? So I placed myself in a box to contain it. I agree to party and have fun when invited, but when I invite others into my plans it is met with hesitation. It is 10:01 pm & I am lying in my bed, a Boondocks marathon playing on my tv as background noise. Envisioning my dream life. Imagining myself traveling the world, studying, learning. Taking pictures of the sun, the stars, the waters. Financial freedom. Emotional freedom. I am no longer depressed, anxious, and suicidal; I am finally living my purpose. Just a free soul experiencing life & the beauties of the world.

Then I force myself to reality. I’m still in my bed. Boondocks marathon still playing on my tv as tears roll down my face.

As the healer, the person people come to for guidance and advice..I ask myself, how do I start? What steps do I take to live the life I daydream of?

I don’t know. And that hurts the most. Why am I able to guide others when I cannot guide myself? It feels like self-sabotage. The ultimate betrayal.

I know what I want to do. I know where I want to go. I just don’t know how to get there.

[mercurygguk]

bleeding for you | jjk

genre; angst, fluff

pairing; EMT!jungkook x female reader

✎ summary; In which it’s just another quiet night at the fire station until there’s an alarmingly serious car accident not far away. Jungkook is the first on the scene along with his partner, Namjoon. What meets Jungkook at the scene of the accident is worse than anything he could ever imagine.

word count; 3,367

based on a request by anon; It's a Jungkook au, where he's a EMT & they get a call for a very serious accident. When he arrives on scene he sees a very familiar car. A hand dangles from the shattered window, the engagement ring he'd slipped on your finger not two months ago mocking him. I envision a happy ending, but if you want, do with it what you will.

warnings; Descriptions of car accidents, mentions of bruises and blood, jungkook’s crying a whole lot, i’m sorry if this is tough on your heart bc it definitely was on mine, phew

a/n; I LOVED THIS IDEA FROM ANON, SO THANK YOU ANON and let’s be honest here, paramedic/EMT!jungkook is lowkey hotttt. Also, I took some inspiration from the tv-show Chicago Fire and some from Grey’s Anatomy because those are the only shows I’ve actually watched with things related to this kind of scenario, lol. I hope you like it, enjoy!

ps. it’s heavily unedited and i wrote this rather quickly, so please ignore if you spot anything hehe

The clock ticks on the wall and there are sounds of cars passing by once in a while outside on the street. Jungkook is staring silently at the TV in the staff room, his eyes focused on the ball that moves around between the football players. He’s bored, sighing deeply to himself as he drops his head back against the back of the couch he’s currently slouching on. Namjoon, Jungkook’s partner, plops down beside him, a sandwich on a plate for him to eat for dinner. He looks happily at his sandwich, more than excited to bite into it and finally getting a chance to continue reading his book for once.

Jungkook hates quiet nights at the firestation. He despises them. It makes him think of all the other things he could be doing instead – an example being at home, in bed with you; his fiancé. A title you recently had gained after Jungkook finally got the courage to get down on one knee for you, asking you to be his for the rest of his life. Just the thought of the happiness he felt that night made butterflies erupt in his stomach, suddenly daydreaming about your smile and the way you always manage to make him feel like he’s floating on a pink cloud. He’s totally whipped, but only for you.

His daydream is quickly interrupted by the sound of Namjoon chewing his sandwich loudly, making Jungkook glare at him with disgust. Namjoon, the charming person that he is, looks back at Jungkook in confusion.

“What?” Namjoon blurts with his mouth filled with a bite of his disgusting sandwich. Jungkook shakes his head at him, turning back to the boring game that’s unfolding on the TV. He really hates quiet nights. 

After half an hour and still nothing, Jungkook groans and gets up from the couch to wander around, causing Namjoon to look at him again with tired eyes. “What’s going on, Jeon?” He asks, flipping a page in his psychology novel.

“Nothing’s going on,” Jungkook grumbles, tired of just sitting around, “absolutely nothing.” 

Namjoon is about to tell Jungkook to sit down and relax for once but the alarm beats him to it, sounding loudly throughout the entire fire station. “Squad 3, truck 81 and 82, ambo 65, 78 and 32 – bigger car crash on the 5th highway, multiple victims,” Taehyung from the alarm center's voice booms throughout the fire station’s rooms. Jungkook’s eyes widen and so do Namjoon’s. They’re quick to move, book, sandwich and football match long forgotten as they run to their unit. Jungkook jumps in the driver’s seat, buckling up faster than ever. His partner is fast to join him and buckling up as Jungkook speeds out of the garage at the fire station and onto the road. Jungkook’s focused, eyebrow knitted together in concentration and the urge to do what he does the best – save some lives.

The highway is chaotic once Jungkook and Namjoon arrive as the first ones at the scene, multiple cars lying around – on the hood, on the side and some crushed to the point of where it’s not even a car anymore. It looks worse than anything they have ever experienced and it’s slightly terrifying but they’re headstrong as they grab their medical bags and run off to a random car each. Squad 3 and the firetrucks pull up not long after Jungkook and Namjoon’s arrival, all of them getting out quickly and getting to work, trying to see if they can save all victims or just the majority of them.

The first car Jungkook reaches is empty, the driver of it luckily managed to get himself out before any sort of rescue arrived. He seems fine, his car almost not even scratched. “Sir, are you alright?” Jungkook asks, doing his job in making sure the man is alright before continuing to another car. The man nods, waving a hand at Jungkook.

“Please go see some of the others, I’m fine!” He almost sobs, clearly traumatized by the car accident.

Jungkook nods at that, giving him one last look all over before heading on to the next car. He looks around in his haste to get to the next one, stopping abruptly in his tracks as he spots a familiar looking car. It can’t be, he thinks to himself as he turns to look at the car properly. His chest tightens at the thought, feeling himself hastily moving closer to the car as tears begin to form in his eyes. It doesn’t occur to him until a hand dangling from the window catches his attention as he gets closer, the diamond ring confirming his worst fear.

“No, no, no!” Jungkook shouts in a mix of terror, anger and his heart breaking into a million pieces, tears already falling from his eyes as he runs up to the car, his hands trembling. Pain shoots through him at the sight of you, body limp and unconscious, face battered in bruises and wounds and there’s blood on your beautiful, white shirt and he prays to God that isn’t yours but who is he even trying to fool? Of course, it’s yours. “No, please, no!”

From the other side of the highway, Namjoon spots Jungkook scrambling towards the car that he, too, finds awfully familiar. His eyes widen at the sight as realisation hits him. 

“Shit!” He hisses, making sure the victim he’s treating is okay before running towards Jungkook, heart beating a hundred miles per hour. All he can think about is getting his partner away from the car which is lying on its side. “Kook!”

Namjoon has to pull harder than he expected as he reaches Jungkook. He isn’t willing to let go of the car, hands reaching for your unconscious body that is still, thankfully, buckled up in the driver’s seat. You hear nothing of Jungkook’s cries as he’s pulled away by his partner and best friend. “____! Baby, please wake up, please!”

The sight in front of them is nothing but a real life nightmare, the scene only a fear of Jungkook’s until tonight. Namjoon has no idea how to calm his partner down as he pulls him away. His heart is breaking at the sound of Jungkook’s sobs, his chest heaving for air as he looks at the broken car, which was nicely parked in the parking lot of his and yours apartment building when he left for work this morning. He watches it being pulled apart to reach you, the EMTs of Ambo 78 tending to your wounds and body, trying their best to support you until they get you to the hospital.

They lift you into the ambulance, Jungkook’s body working automatically as he tries to jump into the back of the ambulance and ride with you to make sure that they’re taking care of you the right way. This isn’t just another victim, it’s you, Jeon Jungkook’s fiancé. Namjoon holds him back, using all his strength because a sad, terrified Jungkook is stronger than he ever could’ve imagined.

“Hyung, please, I need to go with her!” Jungkook cries, glancing quickly at the man holding him back, before looking back at the ambulance you’re now in. They close the doors, hurriedly getting in the front and speed off. “For fuck’s sake, Namjoon, let me go!”

Namjoon shakes his head, “I need you to calm down first, Kook. You’re not thinking clearly.”

Jungkook thinks that’s the biggest load of bullshit he’s ever heard. He whirls around, not in the mood for his best friend’s psychology shit. “I swear, I will punch you,” he sneers, eyes watery and cheeks stricken with tears. Namjoon stares back at him, lips in a tight line and eyes wide because he has never seen Jungkook so out of it before. “How am I supposed to calm down when my fucking fiancé is a victim of one of the biggest car crashes we’ve ever witnessed, huh? She’s hurt and unconscious in the back of one of OUR ambulances right now, Joon. Don’t fucking tell me to calm down.”

Despite his harsh words, Namjoon feels sorry for Jungkook. He nods, putting his hands up in surrender. Jungkook breathes out, chest heavy with a feeling he can’t quite describe. He just knows that he doesn’t want to waste another second here, the only place he wants to be is by your side until you wake up and tell him you’re okay.

“At least let me drive you to the hospital?” Namjoon offers, voice hesitant and cautious as he gestures to their ambulance. 

Jungkook sniffs, nodding, “please.”

The ride to the hospital is quiet, tense too. Jungkook is staring straight ahead and not moving, just letting the tears in his eyes fall until he has none left. He’s pretty sure the drive to the hospital usually isn't this long. He feels like he’s been on this ride with Namjoon for hours when really, it has only been at least 15 minutes. 15 minutes too long, he thinks to himself. He could’ve been with you right now, holding your hand while you get sutured up and stitched back to perfection – at least what Jungkook thinks is perfection. However, you’d never agree on that.

Namjoon doesn’t get to say anything before Jungkook’s out of the passenger seat of the ambulance, his body moving almost before Namjoon had parked it. He doesn’t notice anything around him, heading straight for the front desk to ask about your status. The nurse there looks at him with a face that says she’s sorry without even saying the words. Jungkook doesn’t need those words, there’s nothing to be sorry for. People only say they’re sorry when something really bad happens, and as far as Jungkook knows, you’re still alive. You have to be. He hasn’t married you yet.

“My fiancé was brought here not long ago, her name is ____,” Jungkook hurriedly asks, the nurse working quickly to type into her computer. Jungkook taps his foot against the floor in impatience.

“She’s in surgery at the moment,” the nurse says softly, watching as Jungkook’s breath hitches in his throat at the news. Namjoon comes up beside him, laying a hand on his shoulder. “The doctors will find you once they’re done.”

Namjoon nods in appreciation to the nurse, Jungkook stares at nothing in particular, scared he’ll break down in the middle of the entrance of the hospital he so often visits because of his job. “We’ll wait over there,” he tells the nurse, tugging Jungkook along. “Let’s go, Kook.”

Jungkook follows along, sitting down in a seat with Namjoon beside him. He feels like he should be calling his family and yours, yet he can’t think straight and his head is empty for words right now. The only thing on his mind is you and the fact that you’re at risk of dying. He has no idea how serious your injuries are but they’re serious enough to land you on the surgery table. His breathing is short, eyes staring at the floor and ears focusing on the sound of the opening and closing of the doors to the surgery halls. He feels alone even though Namjoon is sitting right beside him, he feels helpless, he feels like he’s been left in the dark. He knows nothing about what’s happening to you and it’s driving him absolutely crazy. The thought of losing you brings a new round of tears to his eyes, lips trembling as he fights to keep his sobs inside and not break down in the middle of other people. It’s like Namjoon senses as he gets up, pulling his phone from his pocket. He moves a bit away from Jungkook, speed dialling the only person he knows will be able to comfort his best friend in the slightest. 

Jungkook’s wandering the waiting area, hands tightly intertwined in front of his lips and eyes closed as he walks back and forth in front of Namjoon. It has been at least three hours and his nerves aren’t exactly becoming less the longer it takes for the surgeons to give him some kind of news – any kind would be appreciated by now. He stills as a hand comes to rest against his back, gentle touch that can only belong to one person on this planet. He turns around to face her, her eyes softening at the sight of his red eyes and wet eyelashes.

“Mom,” he croaks out, a sob raking through his body as he crumbles into her embrace.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she coos, wrapping her arms around his tall frame, hugging her sweet, heartbroken son to her chest in the hopes of comforting him just the tiniest bit. They stay like that for a few minutes until Jungkook’s mother breaks the embrace, holding him at arm's length. “I’m sure she will be fine, Jungkook. She’s a strong woman.”

He sniffles, feeling slightly better at his mother’s words. He offers a small, the tiniest, smile. She smiles softly and comfortingly at him, reaching up to wipe his tears away. “You have to be strong too, sweetheart. She needs you to be strong for her.”

Jungkook nods and whispers lowly: “I know, mom.”

“Mr. Jeon?” A voice calls. Jungkook, his mother, and Namjoon whips around to face the doctor who called Jungkook’s name. “Miss ____ is out of surgery. We were able to fix her injuries and she is up for recovery now.”

Jungkook lets out a sigh of relief, feeling a heavy weight disappearing from his shoulders. The doctor offers him a warm smile. “She will be in the ICU for at least a couple of days until we see some progress. You can go see her, she is in room 248.”

“Thank you so much,” Jungkook says with the utmost gratitude and a smile as he shakes the doctor’s hand before grabbing his things and heading in the direction of the ICU. 

He finds the room without any problems, pausing just outside of the door. His mother and Namjoon both stand behind him, watching him in silence. They’re not pushing him, letting him do this on his own, letting him prepare for whatever he’s about to meet behind this door. He inhales and holds his breath before pushing the door open and heading inside. The sound of the monitor beeping is the first thing that meets him, what meets him next causes him to gasp softly in horror. This must be what it feels like to live out your nightmare and biggest fears, he thinks to himself as he moves closer to your body that’s lying unconsciously on the bed. It seems his tears are never-ending today as he pulls a seat to the side of the bed, sitting down with his eyes trained on you.

He looks you over, wincing lightly at the sight of tubes and IVs attached to you. There are scratches and wounds on your body, your skin beaten up from the harsh car crash you so unluckily ended up in earlier. He’s hesitant as he reaches for your hand, being more than careful as he intertwines his hand with yours. You don’t squeeze his hand like you always do and it makes him realize that you are in fact unconscious and probably not aware of the entire situation right now.

Jungkook scans your face, lips trembling and fingers shaking as he reaches up to move your hair out of your face. There’s scratches on your pretty face too, a big patch on the right side of your forehead where they stitched you up. He’s hurting, not quite as much as you, as he looks at you. You’re still gorgeous, even like this. 

“I love you so much, ____,” Jungkook whispers, bringing your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your ring-clad hand. “Please be okay.”

Days have passed since the accident, and you still haven’t opened your eyes. Jungkook is becoming impatient, sitting here and waiting is killing him slowly. His mother had left in the morning after being with him throughout the first night. Jungkook had called your family while his mother held his hand. He will never forget the way a sob raked through your mother’s body as he told her what had happened. They were here now; your mother, your father and your brother, Yoongi. Your parents sit on either side of you, Jungkook’s resting against the wall at the end of the bed, Yoongi sitting in the chair beside him. The silence is almost unbearable but no one dares speaking, afraid of nothing in particular – perhaps the chances of you crashing right in front of all of them.

Jungkook’s done crying. He doesn’t think he has any tears left in him, only this heavy feeling of regret even though he has nothing to regret. No matter what, he couldn’t have stopped this from happening. Why you were out driving that late is still a mystery to him, but he’s not sure he wants to know. He has a feeling it will tear him apart knowing the reason.

Your dad jerks up from his resting posture causing everyone to widen their eyes at him. “S-she squeezed my hand,” he almost whispers. Jungkook’s breathing quickens, eyes staring at your closed ones. He waits, anticipating the worst. Your eyes flutter, a small crease forming in your forehead as you try to adjust to the lights in the room. He sighs in relief for what feels like the hundredth time, feeling the tears coming back. Okay, he isn’t quite done yet.

“Jungkook?!” You croak out, trying to sit up. Jungkook feels his heart breaking at the tone in your voice. You sound confused, slightly shaken up and sad. He’s quick to be at your side, taking over from your father. His hand grabs yours, fingers intertwining automatically. “Kook,” you whimper, clearly not fully awake from your deep days long slumber.

“I’m here, baby” he softly calls, searching your eyes with his own, “I’m right here.”

You look at him, eyes locking and you feel yourself calm down already. Jungkook notices the unshed tears in your hazy eyes. “Where am I?” You ask, voice small.

“The hospital,” he explains, keeping his voice low and soft for you as you just woke up from a long, long nap. “You were in an accident, ____. Do you remember what happened?”

You shake your head, wincing at the movement. Your entire body is sore, hurting everywhere and you want to cry. You just want to cry and hug Jungkook tightly because that’s the only place you feel safe and happy, in his arms. 

“How long?” You speak a bit louder now, still not registering your entire family standing around the two of you. You’re in your own little world, your focus only aimed at the curly-haired man in front of you. Your mom is watching you closely, letting a small tear slip down her cheek as she takes in the moment of you and Jungkook. Your father is right beside her, rubbing her arms in comfort. Yoongi is watching too, smiling to himself because he doesn’t think his younger sister could’ve found anyone more fit for her than Jeon Jungkook.

“Only a few days,” Jungkook answers, bringing your intertwined hands to his chest. His heart is beating hard and fast causing you to gasp. He smiles at you as you look up at him, eyes wide.

You move to press your other hand to his chest, resting it above his heart. “Are you okay?”

Jungkook can’t help but chuckle. Even when you’re the one hurting, you ask him if he’s okay just because his heart is beating a bit faster than it usually does. He nods, smiling softly at you, eyes twinkling with fresh tears once again. 

“I’m fine,” he whispers, leaning closer to press his lips to your forehead in a lingering kiss. “Just really relieved.”

You smile at his words, only imagining how worried he must’ve been the past few days if you’ve been in this bed and unconscious. “I love you, Kook.”

Jungkook chokes out a laugh, “I love you too baby, more than anything.”

[ppersonna]

organic - ksj | thirteen

a social media au

↳ summary- You agree to do your childhood best friend, Namjoon, a favor by working as his boss’s gardener.  However, Namjoon fails to tell you just how much of a rich ass Kim Seokjin really is. You hate him, and he hates you, so why does it bother you when his ex makes her way back into his life?

↳ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

↳ pairing- seokjin x reader

↳ warnings- 😬 smut, oral sex (m/f receiving), penetrative sex, dirty talk, teasing, bratty!yn, brat-tamer!jin, unprotected sex (dont be dumb), aftercare (ig), lmaoooooo here we mf GO.

↳ a/n- omgomgomgogmogmogmogmomgomgogmg. thats all i gotta say yall.  also, so sorry but the tags are currently being VERY BAD and i am sorry if they didnt work.

taglist-

@rjsmochii @broke-bts-stan @kookiesjoonies @sistaflubs @sombreboy @brilliantlybasicb @sugarly-laysa @absoluteyoongit @chimoona @ladyartemesia @lemonjoonah @jinsearth @tiddieshakeshownu @hannahdinse8 @imluckybitches @55west81st @xoxrinaxox @remplazable-yellowpink @lustingstae @lidda @amoreguk @deadleaves278 @devotedlywriting @koostime @fangurl-ontgeside @hauntedlilies @gukniverse @simplymemyself @alyboo-jpeg @themyscirarey @taetaewonderland @jinhitwhore @softychimseok @amberaesthetics @lovesjenmoong @bangtansbun @garii71 @sweetnspicy93 

The house was empty. Too empty. 

The normally chaotic space of the living room, where all the roommates and friends usually joined was silent. 

You walked around aimlessly, still confused by Jin’s texts, and hoped to find someone to distract you, keep you from going into the bedroom Jin most certainly occupied. 

You couldn’t wrap your mind around the man. In one minute, you’d be daydreaming about his lips and the way he felt pressed up against you. The next, you’d be contemplating methods of murder and if you could bury his body next to the freshly planted rose bushes in the back courtyard. 

A sigh escaped you. No one was home. You were stuck with Jin.  

You grumbled under your breath as you made your way down the lush hallway.  Some friends. Didn’t even invite you out. Left you here with the extremely handsome, tempting, annoying asshole. 

The door opened before you even reached your hand out to grab the handle. Jin appeared with a sleazy smile. 

“Little vixen,” he said, grabbing your wrist. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?!”

It was almost starting to get annoying. 

Jin motioned to the bed. Pretty, pink lingerie lay on the luxe fabric, arranged delicately yet with full intent displayed. 

“I can’t wait to see you in it,” Jin spoke. He moved closer. So close it made your throat swell up. His hands ran up and down your arm. “I knew you’d give in.” 

His words snapped you out of any sensuality you felt at his embrace.  Your hands pushed at the expanse of his chest. 

“I didn’t fucking do this!” You snapped. “Why the fuck would I want you?”

“You think I don’t notice the way you slide in bed towards me until you’re practically humping me?” 

Jin’s smirk was reaching levels you’d never seen before. He was pleased with himself, with this situation. You were sure if you glanced down his body you’d see proof of his arousal. But you couldn’t. You’d lose all ability to talk, to fight. 

“Okay, I was cold! That’s the only reason!” 

Jin tsk’ed and shook his head. 

“Darling, it’s okay. You’re meant to be my wife, you should know how your husband performs in bed. It’s natural to be curious.”

Your hands balled into fists. 

“I’m… not curious.” 

He quirked his head and smiled. “No? Not even a little?”

Jin stepped towards you again, this time slower and with heat. 

“Not curious how deep I can get inside you, how wet you can be for me?”

You would be lying if you said your body didn’t react, didn’t heat under his intense gaze. 

“Clearly, someone set this up,” you whispered, trying to navigate the conversation away from the topic of your wet pussy. 

“Did they now?” Jin asked as he played with a piece of your hair. “You sure it wasn’t all a ruse to get the worldwide handsome in bed with you?” 

“You’re so arrogant,” you snapped. “You think every woman is falling on their face to fuck you.”  Your words were sharp but lacked any of the heat behind it. 

Jin chuckled. “That’s because they generally are.”

His fingers trailed down your face, your neck.  His eyes were fixated at your collar bones, magnetized to the juncture of your throat and shoulder. 

“Well, I’m not.” 

“Say someone set this all up, say I believe you… you still aren’t putting up much of a fight.” 

Damn. 

Jin had you there. 

He continued before you could speak. “It’s almost like you’ve been wanting to find out more ever since I kissed you.” 

Your eyes closed in reply.  The kiss.  The god forsaken kiss.  

“You played me.” 

Jin sighed and tucked a stray hair behind your ear, eyes now level with yours. 

“It’s okay to be curious. About me. About us. I think about it too.” He admitted. 

It piqued your interest and made you swallow hard. 

“I think about what it would be like to have your fiery little body underneath me. Trying to be big and bad and headstrong while you’re getting stuffed full of my cock.” 

You couldn’t help the soft whine that left your lips, and you kicked yourself for allowing Jin to see your moment of weakness. 

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He asked as he moved you towards the bed.  His eyes burned into yours and it felt like all the air in the room left, leaving you suffocating. 

“You want me to take control, to tame the little brat inside you. I can do that, baby. All you have to do is admit you’re the one who did all of this.” 

You fell against the bed with a soft thud, right next to the expensive lingerie. It was your style, your type. Even through the rage of Jin believing you were trying to seduce him, you can’t help but envision yourself in the lace and letting the man unwrap you. 

“It wasn’t me,” you whispered. “I wouldn’t buy something so expensive. You know I prefer secondhand.” 

Jin visibly recoiled and rolled his eyes. 

“I should spank you for that.  You don’t have to lie. You don’t have to save face. I know you did it, baby.”

“It wasn’t fucking me!”

Jin stared at you, eyes seeking answers in your own. 

“You’re such a petty bitch sometimes, you know that?” He stalked closer to you, pushing you down into the bed. “Such a little fucking tease.  You act like you hate me, yet you can’t stop looking at me. You can’t stop thinking about me. You made me get in bed with you every fucking night and still try to claim you hate me?” 

He looked infuriated.  It was scary as much as it was arousing. 

“Don’t you fucking get that I want you?” Jin asked as he pressed a finger under your chin to make you stare him down. “Do you not understand in that thick head of yours that you drive me fucking crazy?”

It’s the straw that breaks the camel's back. 

Instantly, you tugged him down and crushed your lips to his. You kissed him wildly, no finesse or skill. It’s all mouth and teeth and tongue.  Jin groaned into your open mouth, and you pulled away. 

“I didn’t fucking set this up,” you stated with intent. “But I will fuck you until you’re not a goddamn asshole anymore.” 

He never got the chance to retort any smart-ass remark—your hands pushed him onto the bed and your hands flew to his tight, teasing jeans. Your mouths melded together again with the heat of an oven, meshing together with all passion and fire of your argument now funneled into pure, sexual charge. 

Jin’s head rested on the pillows as you hovered above him, trying to tug at his jeans while maintaining a steady assault on his lips. 

He chuckled, his own hands coming to assist you as his tongue explored your mouth. He pulled away to kick the jeans off, leaving him in his expensive Balenciaga tight boxers. 

“God,” you groaned. You were part aroused by the impressive length pressing against the black fabric, half annoyed that his underwear likely cost half of your paycheck alone. “Fucking ostentatious rich asshole.”  

Jin couldn’t help but laugh out loud, but it quickly escaped him as your hand rubbed at his hot bulge, gripping tightly and gritting his teeth to keep from moaning. 

“Shit,” he sighed. “If you make me cum in these, I'm taking the cleaner fee out of your paycheck.” 

You made a show of rolling your eyes, moving down his body and tugging the fabric down along the way. 

“The fact that you get your fucking underwear dry cleaned…,” you sneered. 

You didn’t answer. You didn’t need to. Jin’s impressive length was now free and thick and hard in your hands. His expensive underwear fell to the floor without a care from either of you as you eyed the stiff cock in your hands. 

“Is it everything you’ve dreamed and fantasized of?”  He tried to act cool and collected, using his bravado to mask the absolute pleasure he felt at your delicate hand gripping him tightly. He was certain he would cum instantly if he wasn’t careful. 

“Hmmm,” you sighed as you gave long, languid pumps with your hand. “I mostly fantasized of kicking you here. But, I’m sure this will be a suitable way to shut you up, too.” 

Jin opened his mouth in reply but cut himself off with a strangled groan as your hot mouth descended, taking him fully to the hilt at the back of your throat.  His eyes nearly rolled back in his head as he felt your tight mouth envelop him and suck. 

Your mouth worked eagerly, licking and sucking as you began a pace.  You’re determined to suck the cocky attitude right out of him. And judging by the look that crossed his face—eyes glazed over in bliss, mouth ajar in pleased disbelief—you’d say you did an outstanding job at it. 

His hand moved to your head, a surprisingly gentle grasp in your hair as he held back pieces of your fringe that fell in your face.  Your heart thumped harder against your chest, eyes flickering up to his to gaze at him as your mouth continued its assault on his cock.

You cursed yourself the moment your eyes locked with Jin’s.  It would be easier to hate him, to think of this as a way to get back at him, if you hadn’t.  Now, all you saw was the side of Jin you saw before.  The sensitive, passionate Jin who kissed you deeply and held your hand through dinner.  The look in his eyes now spoke more than just of sexually charged thoughts—it spoke something tender too.

You quickly forced yourself back to the task at hand.  Your tongue swirled around the tip of his head.  You forced yourself to see this as sex, nothing more.  Your heart was too sensitive to allow other thoughts invading in.  What was it that Tae always said to do? Get the dick, secure the bag?

Oh, what did he know—wasn’t the boy head over heels for Jimin, anyway?

Jin’s hand tightened around your hair, encouraging you to come up for air.  Your hand kept a steady pace as your lips popped off his length.

“What? Enjoying yourself too much?” You teased as you used your free hand to wipe at the saliva running down your chin.  

Jin groaned as he watched your fist still work its way up and down his slick cock.  

“Mm,” he sighed and bit his lip. “Yeah, actually.  I don’t wanna cum yet.  Wanna save it for that bratty little pussy of yours.”

The words made your breath hitch in your throat.  

In an instant, Jin had you flipped over and you were prone to him.  The devilish grin on his face told you he had you right where he wanted you.

“I hope you had fun thinking you’re the boss,” he murmured as he sat back on his heels and unbuttoned his tight shirt.  “Daddy’s in charge now.”

The shiver you feel run down your spine makes you feel too vulnerable, too attracted and exposed to the man above you, now completely naked.  His body was cut to perfection, hard lines of his muscles exposed that made your mouth water.

“Didn’t realize you had a daddy kink.” Your attempt to sound bratty failed—both you and Jin knew it.  Your eyes were still locked at the way his lower abdomen formed a perfect V line, the slight thatch of hair just above his cock.  

“My eyes are up here, baby.”

Your eyes snapped up to him instantly, cheeks turning pink.

“It’s okay.  Don’t be shy.  Lots of women get overwhelmed when they see the worldwide handsome in the flesh like this too.”

His words rolled around in your stomach uncomfortably and you’re forced to face the reality that Jin does this—a lot.  With a lot of women.  And you’re overwhelmed by how jealous it makes you.  You want to be the only one underneath him, the only one able to graze your fingers down his chest, the only to cry out his name.

And the thought scared you.

So, you did what you did best—ignore it.

Jin’s hard, burning gaze bore into you.  His hands reached towards the tops of your jeans and you noted the way he ignored the patches of dirt on the knees from your day at work.  In fact, you’re surprised he even let you on the bed in clothes that were shabby too.

The jeans quickly left your body, and Jin hovered over your legs.  His hands trailed down the soft satin of your panties, barely covering your core.  Your body reacted instantly, thighs moving to press together, but Jin would have none of it.

“Ah, ah,” he warned.  “Don’t tell me you’re shy.  You never seemed so shy when you’re biting my head off.”

“Shut up,” you murmured, allowing your legs to spread apart again.  

Jin lowered himself between your thighs, fingers wrapping around the fabric.

“I see you’re wearing the panties I bought you.”

The look on his face told you he was proud of himself.

“I still hate that you made me buy underwear.  Not like you were going to see them.”

Jin sent a look at you, tearing his gaze from your soaked core.  

“Oh, then what do you call this?”

Your words caught in your mouth.  He got you there.

“...shut up.”

Jin grinned and moved his eyes back towards your cunt, pulling your panties down.

“So mouthy.  Someone needs to put you in your place.”

Your mouth opened in a gasp as the panties slide off, a string of slick arousal following it.  Jin can’t help but chuckle.

“For all that big talk, you seem to be very excited.”

The desire to be touched quickly outweighed the need to hold your own.  With your pussy open and exposed, and Jin’s eyes focused on it like it was his last meal, the burning desire in your stomach nearly bubbles over.

“Jin,” you gasped. “Please.”

“Now, look who’s begging.”

You wanted desperately to wipe the smirk off his face, to put him in his place, but your resolve quickly faded the closer he got to your glistening folds.

“You want me to eat your sweet pussy? Tell me you do.  Tell me it’s all you’ve wanted.”

The pride in your heart thuds hard—you can’t find it in you to say it but you ache for his sweet mouth, plushy lips, harsh tongue that would spear into you deliciously.

“Jin, fuck, please,” you begged.  “I can’t…”

“I won’t touch you if you don’t,” he explained. “You could be halfway to a screaming orgasm by now if you’d just suck up that pride of yours as well as you sucked my cock.”

Your body squirmed uncomfortably and his hands gripped your thighs, keeping you secured to the bed.

“Fucking say it,” he demanded and the timbre of his voice had your cunt pulsing around nothing.

You’ve finally had it.  

“Please! Jin! I fucking need you!  God, I always think about fucking you, are you happy?” You asked with frustration boiling over.  “I think about you fucking me all—fucking—day.  Please, I need you, daddy.”

Jin smirked at the sound of his honorific and knew he had you wrapped around his finger.

“Good baby girl,” he cooed.

His mouth latched onto your cunt in seconds.  His hands spread the folds apart and his tongue darted out to begin a licking motion on your clit.  Your eyes snap closed and mouth gaped open in silent pleasure.

“Oh, fuck!” You finally found your voice and your hands grasped at his brawny arms below you, fingers digging into his skin gently.  

Jin didn’t hold back.  His tongue worked your clit in a frenzy, knowing just where to suck and nibble and lick just right.  You hated to admit that for all his bragging he had the skills to back it up.

Your moans encouraged him more, and his hand worked its way in, two fingers slipping into your heat.  The added sensation made your back arc off the bed.

“Shit! Oh, shit!”  The combination of all the sensations made you keen and your core tightens impossibly.  “Oh, fuck, Jin! I’m going to cum!”

He smirked against you and kept his pace, increasing the speed of his finger as his tongue worked you to the height of your climax.

It washed over you—hard.  Your vision blacked out around the edges and you’re sure you stopped breathing for ten whole seconds, before your lungs burned and gasped in for air.

Jin pulled his fingers from within you and licked them clean.  The cocky aura surrounding him was gone.  Now, it felt worshipful.  It felt pious.

He didn’t want long before crawling up to you.  His lips pressed against your own, your own unsteady breath mixing with his as you tasted your own slick on his tongue.   The flavor of your cum and his mouth made you gasp. 

Jin pulled away and peered down at you, his thick length now lined up at your soaked core.

“Can I fuck you?”  Jin’s voice was gentle.  “I have condoms, if you want....”

You nodded your head quickly. “If you’re clean, please… just fuck me like this.”

You didn’t know what came over you—normally a good rule-following type of girl, but something deep down wanted to feel Jin, all of Jin, uninhibited.

His eyes sought into yours for a moment.  He held an emotion in there—one that you couldn’t quite recognize , and your heart clenched at the idea that anything other than lust flickered through his consciousness.

“Okay, I’m clean too,” he whispered as his length breached you. 

Jin pressed his lips to yours as his cock slid into you, tenderness lacing the movement as he stilled inside you.  He held you there for a moment, hands moving to cup your face.  His hips remained motionless, and you both melted at the feeling of your bodies joining.

You forced yourself to look away from whatever emotion Jin was trying to reveal through his gaze and moved your hips slightly to encourage him.

He seemed to get the idea and quickly slid himself in and out.  The feeling of his bare cock stuffed inside you, each ridge and vein dragging itself in and out of you, felt better than any sex you’d ever had.  

Jin’s pace became quicker, and the tender sensuality became quickly replaced with raw passion and lust, which loosened the feeling of vulnerability you felt before.

“God, you’re taking me so good,” he gasped as he plunged himself deep into you, as if to make a point.  “You’re so fucking tight and wet for me, fuck, baby.”

Your moans echoed off the luxe walls, and you threw your head back against the fine egyptian cotton pillows.  As much as you wanted to hate the display of wealth, you couldn’t help but be grateful for Jin’s need for expensive fabrics.  They felt like heaven against your bare skin, and the friction of Jin’s movements made them rub on you deliciously.

“Yes, fuck!” You exclaimed.  “You feel so good!”

There was no need to hold back the praise, and you had no desire to either.  Jin was fucking you so good that any ideas of hating him had left the second he entered you.

Jin let his head drop to your ears—whispered praises of how good you were, how fucking tight you felt.  He continued as he pounded you deeply and pulled your body close to his, as if he couldn’t get close enough.

It didn’t take long for you to feel your second high coming.  Jin’s cock hit just the right places, and he dropped a hand to your joined centers to rub at your clit, encouraging your climax to spiral towards the end.

His pace became frantic as he fucked you with fervor and no finesse, hips snapping and pistoning into you as deeply and quickly as he could.  Idly, he realized he wished he could be buried in your cunt forever, that he’s likely never felt such a better pussy in his life.  And he didn’t want to allow himself to think too hard about what that meant.  

He could feel it building, climbing to an ever growing peak that he felt on the brink of summiting.  His breath hitched, yours panted heavily, and he felt hypnotized by the way your cries escalated to near screams.

The chase to the end was quick, as Jin quickly worked himself up to his climax as your cunt became tighter and fluttered around his cock the closer you edged to the end.  Jin groaned as the feeling inside of him snapped.  It pulsed with each shot of his seed into your womb--and he groaned as he felt your walls clench around him as you soared over your own edge.

His name was the only thing you could scream as he kept his pace, allowing your walls to milk him dry.  He held himself inside you, allowed him the chance to soak in the feeling of you and him mixing as one.

Your come-down from the orgasm felt slow, languid.  Jin’s body laid next to you and his cock still nuzzled deep inside your walls.  It felt secure.  It made you feel safe, love, full.  Your heart beat erratically, combined with the exertion of the act and the physical proximity of the man now lying next to you, breathing just as hard.

His arm wrapped around your waist and he pulled you in tight, only allowing his cock to slip out of you after he was sure you were secure in his arms.  His forehead pressed against yours—eyes seeking your own with that same, tender look from before.

No words were spoken for a moment, just the silence and combined breath of your exhaustion.

Jin kissed you, then.  Deep, soft, loving.  It felt too real.  Too much.  It bothered you how much you loved it and wanted it to continue.

“Do you,” he began, before pausing for a moment. “Do you want to maybe… stay longer than a week?” 

You bit your lip, pondering his request.

Did you want to leave? Did you want to return to a life of working for the man you just let cum inside you?  Could you still pretend to be his wife after experiencing this and walking away?

Did you even want to pretend at all?

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Yeah, I think I kind of like this gaudy house.”

Jin’s soft smile turned into a smirk and his hands gripped your waist tighter.

“Next thing you know, you’ll be shopping only at Armani.”

“In your fucking dreams, daddy.”

[et-in-cinerem-reverteris]

Class of 1953 - Chapters 4/4.5 - Louder Than Bombs/Rubber Ring

“Phil, I think you are the strangest person that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.”

“Hey, you’re equally weird,” he teases. 

“I know. That’s why I think you’re so wonderful.”

I’m back with my 1950s historical Oxford university AU fic-cum-novella-thing. Sorry I haven’t been posting the chapters to Tumblr! Here are chapters 4 and 4.5 - soon I will be posting chapter 5 (possibly the last chapter!)

Click me to read on Ao3! 

Or keep reading under the cut...

Chapter 4 - Louder Than Bombs

The passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, is making Phil nervous again.

Sitting sideways at the top of his bed with his feet swinging off the edge like a bored schoolboy, he idly fumbles with the pages of an open book as he stares into space, waiting. 

Last Sunday he had promised Dan that he could use his room as a space to get homework done. Tonight, the gravity of the situation has only just begun to dawn on him. He imagines the scene with a quickened heartbeat; Dan sitting only a foot away, using his chair, working at his desk and writing with his pens, Dan pacing around his room, scrutinising his photographs, flicking through his records and reading the titles of his books. Phil doesn’t know how to prepare himself. Meeting up in public is one thing, but a private visit to his room feels like quite another.

He laughs out loud at himself. Private visit? Dan’s only coming to study for Christ’s sake. 

Speaking of studying, he has his own work to attend to. Lying on his lap is a copy of Beowulf, deliberately planted there to create the impression of a student deeply engaged in a spot of serious reading. Unfortunately for Phil Beowulf has been unable to capture his imagination, and so instead he has spent the last ten minutes or so staring at the contents of his hastily tidied room. His desk is decluttered, his bed has been made, and all the odd pairs of socks have been picked off the floor and put away in preparation for Dan’s visit. 

All is silent bar the low hum of his desk lamp. It’s a quiet Friday evening, and the normally raucous quad now only echoes sporadic bursts of hushed chatter. Tonight’s sky is peppered with clouds that pass the moon at random intervals, periodically obscuring a strange halo that encircles the bright rock in a mysterious reddish glow. The curtains lie wide open, and a streak of moonlight falls on the pinboard opposite his bed. Littered with cinema tickets, clippings from environmental magazines, ripped out pages and uncashed cheques, the most recent addition to the board is a cluster of pictures he took of the photography club on an impromptu walk by the River Cherwell. The top photograph shows Bill squinting at the sun while Mary gives Beth a precarious looking piggyback ride, both of them smiling as John holds his palms up to the toppling ensemble and posing as tourists do next to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Phil remembers how the group of them skimmed stones across the muddy water, competing to see who could get the furthest, until Beth had beat Bill’s expert hand with a fluke stone that skipped so far into the distance that none of them could tell where it had landed. He thinks of that day with a smile. Good times.

*rat-tat-tat*

At last! Springing off his mattress he dashes towards the mirror, spruces up his quiff, takes in a deep breath and opens the door.

“Hallo! Ho-”

Phil is interrupted as Dan comes crashing into the room, stumbling past him and lurching towards the desk as a large pile of books, folders and papers fall from his arms and scatter across the surface in a heap. He releases a long sigh, and then turns around to face his host with a sheepish smile.

“Sorry for bursting in here like that. My arms were starting to get cramped under the weight of all these books, and I had to put them down. Anyway, how are you?” 

“I’m fine but err, quick question,” Phil starts. “Why didn’t you just use a bag?” 

Dan’s smile fades and his eyes glaze over, mouth opening and closing as his brows furrow in confusion. “Now that you mention it, I um, don’t know why on earth I didn’t think of that.” He throws his hands into the air. “God knows what’s up with me.” Embarrassed, he turns around and begins to organise the jumbled papers.

“What’s all this you’ve got here then?” Phil asks, flopping down onto the bed and leaning his back against the wall as he watches Dan.

“It’s mostly some notes about Schubert. We have to study the last few decades of his life, so I bought a few books from home with me that I thought I’d be able to flick through. And um,” he picks up a piece of paper, “I’ve also got to work towards a portfolio of compositions, so really I’ve got a mountain of stuff to do.”

“Sounds daunting.”

“Mmmm.” He sits down in the chair next to Phil’s desk, adjusting the angle of the lamp as he kicks off his shoes. “So,” he continues, turning around, “what are you up to then?”

Phil nonchalantly waves his book in the air. “Just Beowulf.” 

Dan scoffs. “Just Beowulf? Come on, Phil! It’s only one of the most important pieces of English literature of all time!” Shaking his head in disbelief, he turns back around. “‘Just Beowulf’... Jesus.”

After a couple of minutes of silence Phil suddenly realises that Dan has started working. As in actually working. In the past they had both joked about being chronic procrastinators, and so Phil had predicted that the night would end up with them talking about books, politics or musicals instead of doing homework. He’s a bit surprised that Dan was serious about wanting to use his room just to study in, and to be truthful, he’s also a little disappointed. 

To make matters worse, as the other boy works away Phil finds himself unable to concentrate on the book in front of him; no matter how hard he tries to focus, all thoughts invariably trace back to his companion. He examines the back of his neck, the collar of his shirt, the knit of his jumper and how it falls on his lanky build. Dan will occasionally sing or hum a tune to himself, scribble something down and then repeat that same harmony with a few added notes, moving the fingers on his right hand as if he were in front of a piano. It’s a peaceful sight, captivatingly peaceful, and his concentration trickles down the drain. To hell with reading anyway. 

His thoughts meander back to a familiar daydream; Dan’s life in Wokingham. Phil’s imagination frequently returns to a scene of Dan sitting in a lavish study, playing the piano as golden sun leaks through an open window, balmy air wafting inside on a sweet summer evening. In tonight’s incarnation Phil envisions himself there sitting on the wooden floor, pondering over verses of romantic poetry, reading aloud a particularly pleasant stanza to Dan who would glance up from the piano and give him one of those warm, glowing smiles where his dimples make him look utterly angeli-

It’s a silly dream really, very silly indeed, and Phil feels ashamed for ever having dreamt it. With a glum sense of self-restraint, he turns back to his homework and tries extra-hard to concentrate on it. 

An hour or so passes in the little room on staircase nine, and after a while Phil finds himself lulled into the lethargic contentment that only rewards avid readers, and to his amazement he realises that Anglo-Saxon poetry about Danish kings and mythical beasts isn’t as tedious as he had previously dreaded. 

Satisfied with his progress, he bookmarks his page and closes the book with a thump. Dan’s neck twitches at the sound, and, as if abruptly reminded of the existence of the outside world, he drops his pen, massages his hands, and stretches his long, slender arms out into the air behind him. 

“Right, I’m throwing in the towel or else I shall die of a Schu-verload,” he exhales, leaning backwards and cracking his spine on the back of the chair.

“Schu...verload?” 

Dan swivels around to give him a dry scowl. “Schubert-overload, you fool.”

“Oh!” Phil exclaims, and the pair of them erupt into laughter. “Sorry, my brain has just been fried by one-thousand year old poetry. I’m feeling a bit,” he yawns, “a bit sleepy.”

Getting up from his chair and stretching some more, Dan paces over to the window and peers out of it before unhinging the lock and propping it open. Cold air sails through the room, ruffling his curls as he stares out into the dark night.

“Nice view you’ve got from up here.”

“Thanks,” Phil quips, fully aware of the fact that his room faces into a fairly dull courtyard.

“I’m serious. I think it’s grand that you’ve got a view of the chapel. It’s terribly romantic.” He steps away from the window, attention turning to a nearby shelf which houses a small record collection that appears to spark his enthusiasm. “You’ve got some superb albums here. Handel, Tchaikovsky, Chopin…” He looks over to where Phil has propped himself up against his headboard. “I respect those choices.” 

“Thanks, although I mainly put them on for background noise. I’m not a major classical geek or anything.”

The other boy guffaws. “Like me?”

“No, not like you,” Phil tuts, and his pretend frown turns into another yawn.

“Busy day?” Dan grins.

“Busy day, busy week, busy month. Hectic month, in fact.”

Nodding in solidarity Dan sits down at the bottom of Phil’s bed and reclines with his back against the wall, closing his eyes with a faint smile still on his face. As the pair of them sit in silence Phil's own eyelids get heavier, and budding in his chest is a drowsy desire to snuggle up into a cosy cocoon and burrow into the bedcovers, falling deeper and deeper into the comfort of his soft, warm sheets...

When he awakes, Dan is staring straight at him.

“Hmmm, what? Did I fall asleep?”

“Quite possibly. God, I know I’m about to.” Dan’s eyelids flicker downwards as his smile fades. He looks exhausted, really exhausted, and Phil feels like there’s something he should do about it.

“Hey.” 

Dan’s shoots up. Phil shuffles across his narrow bed and moves closer to the wall, patting the small space next to him in invitation. The other boy’s eyes widen for a moment before he melts into a soft, sleepy smile, then gets up slowly and gingerly sits on the bed, lies down next to Phil, then shuffles around so that he’s facing...facing him...and then closes his eyes as if it’s nothing.

Phil blinks in confusion. His more logical side knows that sleeping on the same bed as a friend is something that people do without batting an eyelid, but next to Dan it feels different - symbolic, even. Regardless, or perhaps because of that feeling, he shuffles round to face the other man and observes his sleeping face, his pale skin, his dark freckles, his thick brown eyebrows and long brown eyelashes. 

Suddenly, the eyelashes open.

“Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For letting me use your room to study in, you doofus,” he teases, words coming out slightly sluggish.

“Mmmm, that’s alright. It’s the least I can do considering how you spoiled me last Saturday. I think I should be the one thanking you.”

Dan shifts slightly, and Phil feels their shins are now pressed up against each other. His soul sings. If he were more awake his heart might be racing in an exhilarated panic, but in his tired state all he can do is feel strangely happy. Happy...and cold.

“Why on earth is it so freezing in here?” he asks, confused and a little dazed, and as he props himself up on his elbow he sees that the window has been left open. “Da-an!”

“What?” he whines through the pillow.

“You didn’t close the window!”

“Close it then.”

Phil groans, flopping back down onto the bed. “I can’t be bothered!”

“Well in that case we’ll just have to huddle together like penguins then,” and with his eyes still closed Dan moves across the bed until their faces are centimetres apart. Now Phil’s heart starts to quicken.

“I can’t, it’s too much.”

Dan’s eyes fly open as Phil gets up from the bed and walks over to the window. Worried that he’s made a deadly mistake he buries his head into the pillow and waits for Phil to order him out of his room, out into the cold, out into the darkness for a long, lonely walk back to his own miserable dormitory.

The window clunks shut, and then the bed becomes a lot heavier. Dan removes his face from the pillow to see Phil gazing down at him.

“I thought…I thought you were about to abandon me.”

“What? Abandon you? Where would I go?” He chuckles. “I was cold, that’s all. I wouldn’t leave you here like that.” 

Dan beams up at him with flushed cheeks. “You still cold?”

A smirk lets itself out. “Maybe.”

Dan unfurls his right arm across the width of the bed and lifts his left arm into the air. Phil slowly begins to panic. A hug? Is he pulling him in for a hug? A hug with Dan and his arms wrapped around him holding him lying there together on his bed a-

Okay. 

Enough.

Phil looks back at Dan. His stare is dark and strong, profound and meaningful, and it makes him feel safe. He takes the plunge and lowers himself down. Dan pulls him into a hug, arms wrapping around his back and drawing him close to his chest. Phil can hear the low thump of Dan’s heartbeat and smell the warm, musky scent that lingers on his jumper. He places his arms on Dan’s ribcage, fingers fiddling with the cable knit patterns. The pair adjust themselves slightly, moving shoulders, moving heads, moving their legs and intertwining them together, drifting off to the wide, sleepy sea in a boat built for two.

Chapter 4.5 - Rubber Ring

Phil had been asleep.

Phil had been asleep, until somebody had knocked on his door. 

Phil had been planning on going back to sleep, until through the still of night he had heard a familiar voice whispering his name.

Shaking the sleep from his bones, Phil opens his curtains, stumbles towards the door, turns the key in the lock and prepares himself for whatever lies waiting for him in the hallway.

“Dan?”

“G’d evening”

“W...what are you doing here?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Fancy a stroll?”

“A stroll? Are you insane?” Phil repeats mockingly, shivering from the cool air in the hallway. “Dan, it’s...” He checks his wrist, and frowns when he sees that it’s naked.

“1 a.m. on a Wednesday night? I know. So, what d’you say?”

Really, he should say no. He really should. It’s one in the morning, it’s a weeknight, he’s got lectures tomorrow and the weather outside is probably cold enough to freeze him to his core within five minutes. He should say no, he really should, but there’s something about roaming the shadowy streets at midnight with Dan that’s far too exciting to turn down.

“Give me thirty seconds and I’ll be right with you.”

Diving back into his room to grab the first items of clothing that he sees, Phil can’t help but feel slightly frenzied. When Dan was in his room last it had ended with the pair of them falling asleep entangled in each other’s arms. Phil hadn’t forgotten that. He had far from forgotten that. Memories of that night had floated through the air ever since, landing on him with the delicate wings of a wistful daydream that left him blushing as it flew away. Now, to both his surprise and his delight, this same boy is knocking on his door and asking for his accompaniment on a ridiculous small-hour escapade.

As he wraps his scarf around his collar, he looks across the room to the moonlit part of his pinboard. One particular piece of paper stands out, and he moves in closer to read it - it’s a quote scribbled onto a scrap of blue paper.

“I looked up at the mass of signs and stars in the night sky and laid myself open for the first time to the benign indifference of the world." 

How strange. He’s had that Albert Camus line scribbled onto a piece of paper for years now, and yet never in his life has it seemed so appropriate as it does right this moment. With a peculiar feeling of rebirth he thrusts his feet into the nearest pair of shoes he can find, and opens the door into the corridor. 

Dan is leaning against the wall of the hallway. The pose strikes him as familiar, and with a shock of nostalgia Phil is transported back to the night when the two of them first met. He remembers how Dan stood in the doorway to the photography club - arms folded, ankles crossed, sly smirk plastered to his mischievous face. How things have changed between them since then. 

Phil locks the door, pockets the key, and when he turns around Dan is staring absentmindedly at the floor with his eyes boring holes into nothingness. Suddenly he blinks, looks up, and his eyes instantly meet Phil’s with a vivid, bittersweet gaze that makes everything else in the world feel like it’s falling away.

It feels like the passing touch of a stranger’s hand on the small of his back at a lavish party. It feels like the shock of a cherry liqueur that stuns the taste buds and leaves behind a decadent, sumptuous and moreish aftertaste. It feels like the sight of a full moon from the balcony of his Grecian holiday home, wind rustling through the leaves as the waves whisper beneath him. Phil’s heart melts... and then he realises. 

He just might be in love.

“What are you thinking about?” Dan asks, breaking the silence as his eyelids hang low. Phil looks at those dark, pretty eyelashes on those dark, pretty eyes, rolls his shoulders back, and sighs.

“Mmmm, nothing.” 

He turns to walk down the narrow hallway with Dan following close behind. They push through the heavy wooden door at the end of the hallway and descend onto the staircase, making their way down the steps that lead out of the building.

“So tell me then, how did you manage to get up to my room?” Phil inquires. “Did Rapunzel let her hair down over the Fellow’s Garden wall for you to use as a rope to climb up?”

Dan laughs. “No, not quite.”

“Well go on then, how did you do it? Surely the main college door would have been locked?”

“Not tonight apparently, I pushed it, and lo and behold it was open. There wasn’t a porter there either. Poor sod’s probably raiding the college’s wine cellar,” he adds with a chuckle.

“Dan! The porters aren’t drunkards.”

“I know I know, but it must be bloody boring just sitting there all night. I know I’d raid the stash if I were them.”

“What, and allow unruly boys who can’t settle down to come and break in to the college grounds? You’d make a great porter.”

“That is why I am not a porter, but a devilish, wicked boy who breaks into colleges so he can sneak into other boys’ bedrooms,” he smiles.

Phil’s mind almost shuts down at that latter part. Out of sheer bewilderment his brain decides to respond by bellowing out “you are a saucy boy” in his best Lord Capulet impression, which has the effect of making Dan double over into a fit of laughter, tears streaming down his face as he wheezes the word “saucy” through silent giggles.  

As they exit the building they’re struck by the biting December cold. Careful to tread lightly across the echoing stone slabs, they stealth across the smaller quad that Phil’s bedroom faces into, creep past the chapel, and step through to the larger quad wherein lies a perfectly-maintained square lawn.

“Hey!” Dan whispers.

“What?”

“Shall we walk across the grass?”

“What? Dan! We can’t do that!” Phil hisses. “We’ll get caught and fined and-”

“Oh stop it! We’re already breaking the rules by sneaking out past 10 p.m. Tarnishing an overly-pampered lawn isn’t any worse.”

Before Phil has time to protest, Dan has already set foot on the forbidden pasture.

“Dan stop! For fuc-”

“Catch me if you can!” 

The boy runs around in circles as Phil loiters on the edge, deliberating on whether or not he should join in, until he looks around the quad and, upon seeing nobody, finally decides to indulge in Dan’s game. They race around the turf, skidding and slipping and ripping up the grass. Phil tries to reach Dan, but no matter how hard he struggles he never seems to be able to catch up.

“What’s that Lester? Too slow are we?” Dan taunts, placing a hand on his hip.

That’s it, Phil thinks. 

Time to put Dan in his place. 

With a final burst of energy Phil lunges forward, hurtling himself towards the other man in a push that sends them crashing to the floor, foreheads colliding with a knock that’ll have both of them bruised by the time the sun shines.

“Ow, shit! My head!”

“You alright?”

Phil rolls off onto the cold lawn, swiftly disentangling himself from the mess of limbs as Dan pushes himself off the ground with a grunt of effort.

“Jesus Christ Phil! What are you, some sort of juggernaut?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Sometimes I don’t know my own strength.”

Dan breathes in deeply, eyes flitting over Phil’s body before travelling back up to meet him.

“Evidently not.”

There’s a moment of silence as they recover, and Phil notices that a few blades of grass are stuck to Dan’s face. Without thinking he reaches out a hand to brush them off, fingers briefly skimming across the surface of the boy’s cheek. Dan’s eyes are wide, and his breath is hot against Phil’s hand, lips parted as his eyes lock with Phil’s. There’s a presence in those eyes that Phil has seen before. Inspecting. Asking. Phil wants to trace his thumb across the surface of Dan’s panting mouth with those big, blinking, innocent eyes staring up at him, maybe slip in a finger and feel that soft, wet tongue...but the flare of uncertainty in his chest tells him to remove his hand, stand up from the ground, and say “shall we get going then?” in the steadiest voice he can muster.

After hoisting Dan up from the ground they creep across the quad towards the lodge where the porter sits. Or rather, where the porter normally sits.

“Hmmm. Still nobody here,” Dan confirms, crooking his head around the front desk.

Phil opens the latch of the small door and steps out. “Quickly then. We don’t want to get caught.” Dan hurries across the cobbled entrance, following him through the exit as it shuts behind them with a soft click.

As soon as they’re out the college gates Dan reaches into his coat and pulls out a small bottle of alcohol. Ah. That would explain a lot. He offers it to Phil, who nods in gratitude and takes a sip.

“Eurgh!” 

Dan laughs. “You don’t like whiskey?” Phil screws his eyes shut, shaking his head as if trying to rid himself of the taste. “Ah well - more for me!” 

On second thoughts, if Dan’s already drunk Phil doesn’t want to be the only one who’s sober, and so he reaches for the bottle with grabbing hands as Dan takes a healthy swig. Although he raises his eyebrows at Phil’s unexplained change of opinion, he hands it over regardless. As they amble through the streets Dan takes the drink back, downing it at an alarming rate, and by the time they’ve made their way to the highroad the vessel is as good as gone. 

“Ah, here we are,” Dan cries, “the theatre!” Phil winces - he’s a little on the loud side.

“I saw a fan-tastic production here the other week. The Phantom of the Opera it was. Bloody blil..bloody brilliant,” he slurs, waving the empty bottle around in his hand. “Very fine chap playing Erik, very fine...” He sighs. “I wanted to be an opera singer, y’know. Dunno know what ‘appened to that.”

Phil frowns. “What d’you mean ‘dunno what happened to that’? You can still have a shot at it.”

“You know, that’s very true,” he mutters, “very true...” 

As they walk down the deserted road the only sound to be heard is the clacking of their heeled shoes, until they turn down an ill-lit side-street and Dan begins to hum a tune that sounds familiar. 

“Is that-”

“The Phantom of the Opera? You didn’t say you’d seen it!” 

Before Phil can gush about his love of musicals, Dan unexpectedly bursts into song.

“Beneath the opera house,

I know he’s there,

He’s with me on the stage,

He’s everywhere.”

For a moment, Phil forgets how to think. He hadn’t expected Dan’s voice to be so high pitched, so silky and delicate and feminine.

“And when my song begins,

I always find,

The phantom of the opera is there,

Inside my mind.”

Dan nods his head as if expecting a reaction. Ah. The next part of the song is sung by The Phantom. Hesitant to embarrass himself but too tipsy to care, Phil takes in a deep breath and attempts to remember the lyrics.

“Since once again with me,

A strange duet.

I power over you,

Grow stronger yet.

You give your love to me,

For love is blind.

The phantom of the opera is now,

Your mastermind.”

He looks back at Dan, whose gawk transforms into a grin.

“Those who have seen your face,

Draw back in fear.

I am the mask you wear.”

Another expectant look from Dan. Oh!

“It’s me they hear!”

If he’s correct, they sing the next part together.

“My spirit and my voice,

In one command.

The Phantom of The Opera is there,

Inside your mind.”

Phil could have died on the spot - their voices sound amazing together. He turns around to beam at Dan, but Dan’s too busy acting to notice.

“The Phantom of the Opera,

He’s there.

The Phantom of the Opera.” 

He waltzes out into the road, obviously getting into it. Phil follows, and their voices combine more. 

“Sing once again with me,

A strange duet.”

“My power over you

Grows stronger yet.”

“You give your love to me ,

For love is blind.

The Phantom of The Opera is now,

My mastermind.”

“Sing my angel of music!” Phil cries.

“He’s there,

The Phan-tom of the O-per-aaaaa”

“Sing once again with me,

For a strange duet.”

Dan finishes off the song with the highest note Phil has ever heard come from a man. Bursting into laughter, he bows to a one-man audience as Phil claps and shouts “bravo!”, throwing invisible roses onto an invisible stage before turning to walk down the street.

“Thank you, thank you,” Dan giggles, buzzing with adrenaline as he looks at Phil, who responds with equal spirit. He isn’t quite sure what just happened, but something about their voices combining together like that felt spectacular. It felt special. As their smiles fade, Dan looks as though he wants to speak.

“Phil,” he begins, “can I...can I compliment you?”

“Of course.”

“You have the most incredible voice. Seriously.”

Phil is stupefied. Really? His voice, “incredible”? 

Something wells up inside his chest, something wild and fleeting and frantic that makes him want to sprint and shout and bowl Dan over with a tackle or a hug or just give in to his long-restrained yearning and just grab his charming, boyish face and just kiss it-

Instead, he reaches out a hand, and lightly taps Dan on the nose with his finger.

“Phil, I think you are the strangest person that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.”

“Hey, you’re equally weird,” he teases. 

“I know. That’s why I think you’re so wonderful.”

It’s his shy smile that tips Phil over the edge. He reaches out and pulls Dan into a hug that’s forceful and rough, throwing his arms around his shoulders and squeezing him tight as Dan instantly wraps his arms around him, gripping with equal vigour until they can’t get any closer.

“Thank you for agreeing to go on this mad walk with me. It’s just that I...I couldn’t sleep. This stupid performance is in two days and I’ve got so much work to do and I-” His voice cracks. Phil says nothing but rubs Dan’s back in consolation. After a while, the other boy pulls away. 

“Sorry,” he mutters, avoiding Phil’s eye.

“Don’t be sorry. You’re stressed, it’s understandable. I don’t mind anyway, it was my pleasure.” They begin walking. “Don’t worry about all this school work, you’ve got enough time to sort it out before the performance. If you don’t finish it, who cares - you can do it over the holidays.”

With a big sniff, Dan nods. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

“As for Friday, I’m sure it’ll go smoothly. If you fluff a line just get your sword out and start duelling the audience with your fencing skills. They won’t know what hit them. Literally.”

“Let's hope I don’t fluff anything then, because I don’t want to have to kill you in a sword fight.”

“Aha! How bold you are to assume that I would lose! In fact, I, Philip Michael Lester, otherwise known as... Lance Lester, am a master of sword fighting, known throughout the land for my trusty steel and quick foot.” He snatches at the bottle in Dan’s hand, holding it by its neck. “This was my father's poniard, do you see? I'd be loth to see 't look rusty, 'cause 'twas his.”

Dan cackles, high pitched and loud. “Oh Phil, you’re such a geek, you know that right?”

“Oi - that’s Lance Lester to you!”

“Oh yeah? More like Feeble Phil,” he teases, jabbing at the other boy’s stomach. It doesn’t take long before they start to pretend-fight, scuffling in the street and tussling with each other all the way back home, gradually getting louder and more competitive until they circle back to Turl Street.

“Hey, hey, shhh!” Phil hisses. “We’re back at my college.”

Dan unclences Phil from a headlock and looks up. “We are indeed. Let’s hope the door’s still unlocked.” 

Phil gives it a gentle push, and it opens with a creak. Wriggling free from Dan’s grasp he slips into the entrance, standing with one foot it and one foot out, propping the door open with his chest.

“Well, good luck for rehearsals then. I’ll be at the chapel for…”

“For eight o’clock.”

“Eight o’clock. Right.”

Dan’s face falls. 

“My God.”

“What? What’s the matter?”

“I nearly forgot. Oh, what a disaster that would have been.” 

Phil raises an eyebrow. 

“On the night of the performance the chap I share a room with is going out, so I’m inviting a handful of people back to my room for a little party afterwards. I kept meaning to invite you but I never got round to it. Please say you can make it!”

“It’d be my pleasure.” 

Dan beams. “Perfect, I’ll see you there.” 

He turns away and walks up the street, hands thrust into his trouser pockets as he hurries back to his room. Phil stands at the door, watching. When Dan reaches the corner of the road he turns his head to face backwards, and, although he’s too far away to be sure, Phil is certain that he can feel the warmth of a smile shooting through the air and landing on his breast like the golden tip of Cupid’s pointed arrow, spreading through his body with a tender warmth.

[alloveroliver]

Loki X MC “With A Little Encouragement”

Rated E: Loki Genetta

WC: 2,896

Ikemen Revolution Fanfic

I don’t know why I couldn’t get that mysterious man out of my head. His sexy smile and the way he wasn’t scared to be near me piqued my curiosity. I lay in my warm bed, staring up at the ceiling through the dim light of the window.

Ray was always so distant from me, never holding my hand not even giving me a friendly hug. I was happy for our friendship that we developed, but when I met the Cheshire Cat in the woods, a new feeling crept up inside of me. I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing at the memory of his miss-matched eyes.

My arm was still warm where he brushed it, and my forehead still tingly where he left a kiss. Ray was upset Loki was so close to me the entire time he guided us from the forest. Without a good enough reason to stay away, I allowed Loki to dote over me. I slid my finger over the swell of my lips, then pushed a piece of hair behind my ears.

My mind couldn’t go anywhere else but him, and his touch. What little contact we had set my body ablaze at the moment. I tried to remember the feeling of his hand on my skin as my own hand slid over my arm. He was soft and gentle I recalled.

Closing my eyes, I envisioned my hand was his. His fingertips tantalizing my stomach, swiping the swell of my breast. I bit my lip, feeling the desire heat my core. Trailing the tips of my fingers down my torso, I imagined Loki dipping his hand down the front of my panties.

I gasped as my fingers found my clit, rubbing lightly. I wanted to call out his name but my cheeks were already burning red at the thought of him touching me so intimately. I hoped I could see him again, wished with all my heart he would find me.

The next morning I awoke well rested with a slip of paper under my door. I combed through my knotted hair, thanks to the many daydreams I had the night before of Loki, and plucked the note up.

I tore the paper, walking to the bathroom to brush my teeth and take a shower for the day. The name everyone called me by scribbled on the front. ‘Alice’.

I didn’t recognize the penmanship, so I tore it open quickly to see who it could be.

The first line read ‘Dear, Alice’ I scrunched up my nose, and went to the bottom of the page. “Who is this” I wondered out loud. Flipping the note over I looked at the signature. ‘Sincerely, Loki Genetta’

“Oh my god!” I giggled, running back to the bed.

I flopped on my stomach to read the letter immediately. Skimming it first, I noticed he said something about a meetup. I reread the note again slowly. This time picking up on all the subtle jokes he made, watching his personality shine through the paper.

I sat there for a moment dazed, dropping the paper on to the bed and rubbing my head in my hands. He wants to meet me in secret. Tonight.

I made up my mind right then, I would go to him and I wouldn't tell a soul. I took the note and folded it, shoving it in my shoe by the door to make sure I remembered it.

Time dragged on, but I happily made myself busy as I waited the day away. The thought of meeting him alone tonight filled me with so much excitement but also nervous energy. I waited until everyone had gone to bed before getting dressed.

My plan was to slip out right under their noses. The coast was clear in the halls, and I was easily able to slip out of the barracks front door. I moved to the side and walked as silently as I could to the back of the building. When the guards left the vicinity I booked it down the streets. Past the other barracks and houses.

Soon I was at the edge of the forest near where his letter said to meet. I walked along the tree line away from the barracks, and out of sight from the houses. The air blew through the forest, chilling my skin as I waited.

“Been here long.” Loki’s cheery voice traveled over the wind to meet my ears.

“No, just got here.” I smiled as he approached. “Hello.” I greeted after he neared me.

“Hello, Alice” His smile was all-encompassing over his features.

I wondered what we would do. I didn’t actually think much past initially seeing him and now I felt the anxiety build up as to what to say next.

“My house is this way.” He gestured, holding his hand out to mine.

I looked at his open palm, crushing the fall leaves under my feet as I walked. Was he guiding me, or did he want to move fast?

“You don’t want to hold my hand?” His features were soft as he gazed at me.

“Oh, um…. sure. I didn’t know that’s what you were wanting” I nervously laughed, linking our hands together.

“Did the letter not mention this was a date?” He laughed, guiding me through the trees toward the direction he said his house was in.

It did, I think. I couldn’t remember and I regretfully didn’t have a chance to reread it too many times in hopes of not getting caught. His thumb caressed the back of my hand, bringing me back into the moment.

“I think I thought about you all day yesterday.” The corners of his eyes crinkled as he marched on.

His bold confession caught me off guard. “Yeah me too.” I blinked in surprise at my own words.

What was I saying? I wondered why he was so easy to talk to and hoped he wouldn't weasel too much more out of me tonight.

He slowed his pace, turning to look at me as we came to a halt. “You did?” He smiled genuinely.

“I did. Sorry, this is kind of weird. I barely know you and yet we're acting like we've known each other all our lives.”

“Is that a bad thing, Alice? You are the nicest person I’ve ever met, I want to make you feel happy and welcome.” His eyes searched mine.

I could practically see the self-doubt bubbling up behind his lively facade. My heart flipped, not wanting to hurt him in any way. I squeezed his hand and gave him a wide smile.

“No! Not at all. Your friendliness caught me off guard, that's all.” I mimicked his prior movements, rubbing his knuckles with my thumb.

Loki visibly relaxed, dropping his shoulders. “You’re amazing.” His bright smile was back, tugging me along to his house.

His house was quaint in the middle of the trees. The walkway lit up an leading us inside. The place smelled of citrus, freshly cleaned, and the quaintness only multiplied inside. Knick-knacks and handmade furniture were strone about.

Loki and I had a normal dinner, our legs touched as we sat together and our hands intertwined a few times. I was happy here, happy with him and the affection he gave me.

He was so hospitable, making sure I had everything I needed. When he offered to walk me home, disappointment filled me. He reassured me we would meet again, and soon.

I think he was overly happy that I didn’t want to leave, it caused him to whistle into the night as we stepped hand in hand. Walking deeper into the forest towards the black army barracks, we slowed.

At some point, we were dragging our feet and Loki took the time to wrap his arm around my waist. I moved closer to him, drinking in his warmth that filled my body. This is what I’ve been looking for, and my heart knew it before I did.

I tripped, and he caught me. His hand slid down my side and next thing I knew, my back was against a tree. We stood still, holding each other close.

I knew the barracks couldn't be far, yet neither of us wanted to end our evening. His forehead rested on mine, and my arms tightened around his neck. If we were going to give each other a goodbye kiss, this is where it would have to happen.

The wind rustled the leaves and our bodies slowly pressed against each other. My heart rate skyrocketed when his hand moved up to cup my cheek.

“Loki,” His name came out as a whisper. “Thank you for tonight, I had an amazing time.”

He smiled again, for the millionth time tonight. “I knew when I met you we would click.”

His words were almost cocky, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I adjusted my body under his that pressed up against me. His thumb slid under my bottom lip, then his eyes locked with mine in an intense stare.

I stopped my breath for a moment. “Are you going to kiss me or what?” I smirked at my challenge.

I had grown so comfortable with him in our few hours together. My boldness rarely soared, only taking flight when I was purely confident in the situation.  His eyes flicked to amusement at the drop of a hat.  

With a smiled he leaned in, nipping my top lip. “I might do everything but kiss you since you want to give me so much attitude.”

I gulped, trying to take a step back as the shyness crept over me again. The tree halted my movements poking a jagged piece of bark into my back.

“Only if you want.” He whispered against my cheek.

His hand rested on my hip tugging me right up against his body. His hair caressed my skin as the swell of his lips moved over my skin. I guess technically it wasn’t kissing, but I still took it as a win.

“What exactly are you alluding to.” My breath became labored at his insinuation.

“Just teasing you, Alice” He spoke in a low rumble, warm breath tickling my ear.

His particularly sharp teeth scraped my neck, sending a shiver through me.

“Oh.” I hadn’t meant the word to make me sound so disappointed, but I would be lying to myself if I didn’t want something to happen.

I needed to egg him on, do something that would get him going to make sure he didn’t stop.

“Don’t sound so sad.  Tell me where your mind went and I might reward you.”

My mind went to some amazingly dirty places filled with cobwebs. Things I hadn’t thought about in a long time swam around my mental space. They weren’t ladylike things, nor fantasies you would bring up on the first date.

I willed my hands to move, ruffling up his hair to cause a distraction. Loki laughed into my neck.

“Just tell me one thing. I’m curious now.” His nose brushed my cheek, moving back into view.

Our eyes locked in a heated stare. “Alice, don’t make me use magic on you.” His eyes crinkled with his smile. After a beat, he added.  “Just kidding I wouldn’t do tha-”

“Do it.” The butterflies in my stomach stirred.

“What,” He lifted his head, straightening his back. “but what if you tell me something you wanted to keep secret.”

He looked genuinely concerned, cupping my cheek. “It was a joke… but If you want me to. Say the word.”

He seemed to be massively curious if I would go through with it, but my lips were sealed in my current state. Who knows, maybe it would be fun?

“Yes.” I blurted the word out.

I bit my lip when his eyes turned red.

“Let’s seal it with a kiss”

When his lips crashed into mine, a warm sensation tickled my lips, traveling down my throat. His tongue slid past the seam, moving over mine languidly.

“Tell me a secret” He spoke into the kiss, fingertips digging into my sides.

“I’ve liked you since the moment I met you,” I confessed, smashing my lips into his.

“Me too.” His voice cracked with some amalgamation of happy and lonely.

“I wanted to kiss you the second I saw you tonight.” Loki used his turn to confess something to me.

Now, I wished he would have. Nothing in my life had ever gone this perfectly.

His lips moved down my neck, this time leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. He licked at the underside of my ear and whispered. “Your turn.”

The words came to my mouth, I felt the embarrassment and alarm bells to ‘stop’ go off in my mind. Yet, the spell allowed for me to blurt it out with ease. “I touched myself thinking of you last night.”

The sound of my heart rate could have been heard for miles. Loki paused mid-kiss on my lobe. He let out a long sigh, then his hands cupped my breast.

I almost went to protest at the sudden contact when I realized that had been my goal this whole time. He was only slightly rough with his hands, dragging the fabric over my nipples in such a way I gasped.

“Do you do that often.” His voice was deeper, stirring the desire low in my abdomen.

“N-no.”

His thumbs pressed hard on my nipples over the shirt. I arched my body into him allowing the sensation to wash over me.

“I would have liked to watch you.” He was panting now, without me even touching him.

The thought of him watching me send another hot flash through my body.

“I imagined you had. You watched me… finger myself.” My skin was narrowly catching fire at my own words.

This was all true, I wish he could have watched me. Loki’s teeth dug into my shoulder, stretching my top down to explore it. One hand kneaded my breast while the other now pulled my clothes to expose more skin.

His erection pressed against my abdomen grinding himself on me. In a bold moment, I cupped his bulge, gently squeezing my hand over his solid member.

“Ha, ahh. Fuck” His voice dipped.

His hand flew down to my core, mimicking my movements. Over my clothed sex, he pushed and prodded at my clit with skill. Our lips crashed together, stifling each other's moans.

“You really did, didn’t you.” He spoke, breathing roughly.

Nodding in affirmation, I palmed his hard cock over his trousers.  His fingers pushed against my clit through my pants. We stood pressed against the tree pleasuring one another without ever taking our clothes off.

His breathing grew increasingly ragged the longer I ran my hand over him. My hips began moving in sync with his fingers, realizing my rapidly upcoming release.

“I think I’m…” I whimpered out, dropping my head low to concentrate on his touch.

His body thrust up against mine. I moved my hand out of the way and allowed his cock to grind directly against my clothed core. He took my hand, pushing it up over my head. My other arm was wrapped tightly around his side. He ran himself up and down my clit with long strokes, dazing me with ceaseless pleasure.

My hips moved with his, both trying to kiss and touch every inch of each other. Teeth and lips mixing the rougher he pushed his hips into mine. We were just grinding on each other but the pleasure was so intense it began to overflow inside me.

“God- I’m cuming.” I let out a loud moan, tossing my head back against the tree as Loki’s cock ran along my core, lips pressing into my neck.

My pussy pulsed, sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout my whole body. I felt my panties soak through the longer my release went on. I came down all at once as the orgasm stopped abruptly.

“I’m glad you cast that spell.” I huffed, wrapping my arms around him and laying my head lazily over his shoulder.

“What spell?” He spoke coolly, nuzzling his nose into my hair.

My brows pinched. “You know the truth one…. from a moment ago. Your eyes got all red.” I reminded.

“Oh!” Loki laughed, kissing the side of my forehead. “I didn’t actually use any magic. That would have worn me out.”

“What!” I yelled, echoing through the trees.

I looked around, clamoring at his jacket to find a nice solid spot to hit him. With a giant grin, Loki hugged me to him again.

“Looks like you can be bold all on your own.”

I let the evening process in my mind. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, but he was more intriguing than I gave him credit for. I couldn’t be mad, instead, I held him close to me in silence.

I wanted to feel more of him, see more of him. Yet, tonight was the tip of the iceberg. What else Loki had in store for me, I didn’t know. I knew I would meet him out here again and again as long as we never got caught.

.

.

.

Thank you, Anon for the prompt request!

I really like to write Loki as a lil shit :P

Masterlist //  Ko-Fi <3 // A03

[evillittlebirdie]

Role playing malec?

So I kind of ran away with this prompt. This is going to be a multichapter short fic on Archive of Our Own. Here is part one. I hope you like it!

Magnus had texted Alec earlier, complaining about his longday. Alec had jumped at the idea of being there for the man and serve a bit ofcomfort. Alec did not care for over worrying or over thinking. It was a uselesswaste of time. Yet there he was laying in the bed he and Magnus shared, goingover the numerous scenarios of what would happen when he made the indecentproposal to Magnus. He listened to the sound of Magnus in the shower, knowingthat he had a limited time frame to figure out if he was going ahead withasking Magnus the question and how he would phrase it. Magnus would soon slipinto bed with Alec for a lazy evening in. Sex may or may not be on the agenda. Therefore,he had the opportunity to bring it up.

The blunt way would be, “Magnus, I would like to have sexand roleplay as a warlock’s pet.”

Now, if Alec could manage to get those words out of hismouth, he would have to face Magnus’s reaction. Alec liked to think that Magnuseccentricities and sexual experience worked in his favor. Surely his boyfriendwould indulge in his boyfriend’s odd request. And yet, Alec did not want thisto be a mere indulgence. He wanted Magnus to desire this as well. If Magnus hadany sort of inclination towards wanting to bind or be rough during sex, Alec hadnot noticed it. Not to say that their sex life was vanilla. Maybe it wasvanilla with cookie dough.

Great, now he was anxious and hungry.

Worst case scenario would be that Magnus’s eyes would widena little bit with surprise, flash a look of panic, and awkwardly let Alec downin the kindest way possible. Then of course, it would take some time for thediscomfort in their sex life to dissipate.

If Alec had been less secure in their relationship, he mighthave envisioned Magnus recoiling from him in disgust. He was learning thatMagnus loved him as much as he loved Magnus. He wouldn’t leave himautomatically for expressing a less than conventional sexual kink. He hoped notanyway.

Best case scenario would consist of Magnus’s eyes lightingup in delight and excitement. He would straddle Alec’s hips and move his handsover Alec’s wrists. Golden eyes would stare down at Alec and a suave andconfident voice would purr out, “What took you so long?”

Somewhere in the middle might be the actual result of tonight’sconfession.

The water in Magnus’s shower turned off. Alec knew that hehad approximately three minutes to think while Magnus was drying off andputting on silk pajamas.

Alec could trace back to when he started to fantasize aboutbeing Magnus’s pet. He had a dream one night where all he could remember wasfeeling something soft and constricting around his wrists. His own voicewhispered reverently, ‘Master, please’. The dreams became more frequent andmore descriptive. It was not long before Alec would start to daydream duringmeetings of an indulgent, but firm Magnus simultaneously spoiling anddisciplining him.

Whenever anyone called Magnus ‘Alec’s pet warlock’, Alecwould try to imagine the fantasy reversed. To envision Magnus in any sort of submissiveposition was uncomfortable. It was not his Magnus. Not to mention thatcountless amounts of people already depended on Alec. He could not think aboutcontrolling another one, especially his lover. He wanted to be the one without acare in the world except pleasing one person.

The door to the bedroom opened and Magnus walked out. Hisglamor was on, but his hair was not coiffed and his face was bare of any makeup. He wore a pair of plum colored silk pajamas that shamefully hid his bodyfrom Alec’s sight. His eyes were on the bed and it took no time before Magnusto slid beneath the covers. “Would you laugh at me if I told you that I waslooking forward to this all day?” Magnus asked him.

“Of course not,” Alec replied affectionately as his fingersran along Magnus’s hair as he cuddled closer to him. There was a certain amountintimacy that was needed for two people to be so close and to be content withsimply each other’s presence. To think that all Magnus wanted after seeingclients all day was to spend time with Alec caused a fluttering emotion in hisstomach.

Magnus murmured contently as he preened against Alec’stouches, “You’re sweet, Alexander.” His fingers drifted down to Alec’s waist.His eyes were drooping with fatigue, a sight that was making Alec rethinkburdening Magus with this potential relationship changing request. He wasprepared to fall asleep with Magnus beside him when the warlock spoke. “I’m nottoo tired, sweetheart…We can do whatever you like tonight…as long as it doesnot involve me leaving this bed,” He told Alec, chuckling softly at his lastremark.

Alec had no idea what to do with the permission that wasgiven to him. Well, he knew what he was not going to do with it. He had nointention of pushing Magnus to fool around when he was tired. The smart thingto do would be to insist that he was fine with holding him until he fellasleep. However, Alec was not certain how long he could go on with thisquestion of his bubbling beneath the surface. So he cleared his throat as he triedto articulate his thoughts. “Can we talk for a moment?” He asked, glancing atMagnus’s face to see his reaction. He could detect the hints of curiosity anddash of worry crossing Magnus’s expression. “It’s nothing bad,” He assured him,“I mean…It’s not something for you to worry about. I mean, I just…” Heswallowed, hoping that he prevented the slew of word vomit leaving his mouth.What he did say was different from what he intended.

“Have you ever done anything….BDSM related?” He asked, hisvoice now hardly above a whisper as though they were not the only two people inthe apartment.

The apprehension had left Magnus’s face and was replacedwith a confused amusement, “I have….” Alec exhaled, relieved that he had notthrown himself into unfamiliar territory, at least for one of them. “Alexander,may I ask what brought this on?” Magnus questioned, looking at him with nolonger tired eyes.

Alec could feel the blush rising in his cheeks. “It’s…Ithought it could be something you and I could explore,” He stated. It was not acomplete lie. He just did not state that he already had a fantasy he wanted to replicatein reality.

Magnus looked like he was mulling over Alec’s words beforehe would respond. He glanced away from Alec and instead at the bedsheets. Hedid not seem to be outright rejecting the idea, but he was not embracing iteither. With each second, Alec felt more and more nervous. After nearly twominutes of silence, Alec could not help but blurt out, “It’s not thatimportant. Forget I said anything.”

“Alexander,” Magnus stated his name, firmly, rising now sothat he was propping himself up on his arms, “It’s important-“

Alec, in his nervousness, suddenly interrupted his boyfriend,“I mean, I’m not asking that we make this ‘our thing’. I don’t want it to belike that. I want it to be something we could do on occasion….Not saying that,I ‘want it’ want it, but it-“ He felt like was digging himself further andfurther into a hole that he would not be able to crawl out of. Thankfully,Magnus cut him off.

“Darling, you’re going to work yourself up,” Magnuscommented, his voice soothing enough to bring Alec back to the present and notsome alternative future where he single handedly ruined everything. Magnusplaced a hand on Alec’s shoulder and was rubbing it affectionately. It easedthe tension Alec felt. “Alexander, I love you. Part of that includes a touch ofvulnerability,” He smiled at his words before continuing, “I’ll do anything tomake you happy.”

Magnus must have thought that his words would make Alec feelbetter. They didn’t. “I don’t want you to do it because it makes me happy. Iwant you to do it because you want to do it as well,” Alec said, his eyesdrifting down, watching as his own hand drifted to rest on Magnus’s thigh. Hethought that he would end up spelling out what he wanted this evening, but itseemed that Magnus had a clear idea of what he thought was going on.

“I’ll be happy with anything that involves making you happyand sex, you silly angel,” Magnus returned, playfully, beaming a smile thatonly barely reached his eyes. Maybe it was a trick of the light. He leaned into peck Alec’s lips, causing the man’s heart to flutter. “But…I wouldappreciate it if we can discuss this tomorrow when I’m not about to fallasleep.”

“Oh…Oh, yes, of course,” Alec agreed, knowing that theywould both be in a better place tomorrow. He watched as Magnus eased back downinto a lying position. He wrapped his arms around Magnus, pulling the warlockclose to him. “I love you,” He whispered into Magnus’s ear, watching as the manadjusted his body. Magnus lied his head on Alec’s chest, nuzzling close to him.

“I love you, too,” Magnus whispered back to him.

Something felt different about the way that Magnus lied ontop of him. He felt almost rigid, as though he was ready to pounce at a moment’snotice. Alec had moved his fingers through Magnus’s hair, hoping that he coulddo his part in easing his boyfriend into a peaceful sleep. As his own heartbeatlulled and his breath slowed, Magnus continued to lie there as still as astatue.

The twisting feeling in Alec’s stomach did not go away evenwhen he fell asleep.

[evenstevensranked]

#40: Season 2, Episode 7 - “Thin Ice”

Ren is locked in for two events on the same night — Dinner with their new neighbors The Minkler’s and an ice skating date with Bobby Deaver. Oh, no! We’re also introduced to Nelson and his hypochondria. Meanwhile, Louis and Twitty discover prank calling and fail miserably at it. It’s fantastic. 

This one opens with Ren’s bedroom phone ringing as she frantically runs to answer it. Ya know, that purple see-through plastic Y2K phone that every teen girl on TV had? Dang. I wanted one so badly. It’s Ruby calling to let her know that Bobby Deaver is going to be calling soon. Her “sources never lie.” That’s a little creepy. It’s like she’s in the gossip mob or something. Fo’ real, Ruby needs a new hobby. Just then, Ren gets a call waiting. She answers and an extremely deep voice that sounds nothing like the guy Ren is so obsessed with says “Hey, it’s Bobby” and she falls for it. That was easy. Too bad it’s just Twitty and Louis calling from across the hall. They’re giggling like idiots because they’re 13 year old boys and telling someone “I just thought you should know I’m not wearing any socks” is hilarious apparently. It doesn’t take long for Ren to catch on when “Bobby” starts referring to himself as the “hot little cuddle muffin” she loves so much. Too far, guys. Too far. She decides to play along for a minute which is pretty funny. She says that she’s actually in love with Twitty -- not Bobby -- before busting into Louis’ room. She threatens them while simultaneously blasting them with a water gun. Twitty is all “Dude, your sister loves me.” Completely missing the sarcasm. 

....that moment u know u f’d up.

At school the next day, Ren’s at her locker when suddenly this strange kid appears and calls her “Boo Boo.” It’s Nelson Minkler. We find out that they used to be neighbors when they were toddlers and now the Minklers have moved back to Sacramento. This episode marks what should’ve been his actual first appearance. The episodes were obviously aired out of production order because Nelson is randomly in the Season 2 premiere with no explanation of who the heck he is — and then 6 episodes later we get this one.. which is clearly his proper introduction. Why does Disney Channel do this?! Their worst offense was with Lizzie McGuire. The airing schedule was so jumbled that the freaking SERIES FINALE aired 8 MONTHS before the show stopped airing new episodes. Like, what the hell???

Anywaaay, they’re locker neighbors now and we find out right away that Nelson is a hypochondriac when he opens his locker and a zillion health care items come pouring out of it. Anti-ointments, a freaking snake bite kit, knee pads… yeah. Ren clearly doesn’t want to deal with any of that. She quickly runs away from him and he shouts “BYE BYE, BOO BOO! If you ever need any anti-fungals just knock on my door!” Wow, buddy. I feel Ren’s pain here. 

We see that Louis and Twitty have become obsessed with prank calling. They’re even doing it during school hours now. They’re at Louis’ locker prank calling Wexler telling him he won a free fish or something stupid. Louis is trying to put on some “older” sounding voice, but I would 100% recognize it as him. The face he makes to achieve this voice is gold though:

Just then, Tawny shows up and catches them in the act and she is honestly me:

I’d have no patience for this. 

At lunch, Bobby Deaver was genuinely about to sit down and have lunch with Ren and Ruby… but, Nelson shows up all “HEY, BOO BOO!” and ruins everything. As usual. No wonder this character was only around for a few episodes in Season 2 before disappearing from the face of the earth. He serves no other purpose than for Ren to have a male friend and to mess things up for her constantly. Annoying. Still better than Beans, though. 

He starts coughing and asks Ren to check his tonsils for inflammation. He claims “Just last month I had puss balls the size of acorns!” This kid seriously must’ve lived under a rock his entire life. Any remotely civilized human knows this sort of behavior is weird. He makes the most obnoxious “AHHHHH!” sounds just sitting there with his mouth wide open forcing Ren to look. Ren once again wants nothing to do with this and makes up some excuse to get away. Same. Ruby and Nelson are awkwardly left alone… so Ruby breaks the silence by saying “I’ll look at your puss balls” in that New York accent of hers and I swear to god. The innuendos in Season 2 are next level.

Louis and Twitty decide to prank call Tawny’s family and we get to see her house for the first time in the series! Add this to the list of sets with on-point characterization. It’s very yuppie and warm… with lots of house plants. Not to mention, she’s doing yoga when the phone rings. This makes so much sense to me. 

Louis claims to be Lance Larsen calling from QPop radio with a $1,000,000 trivia challenge. Again, Louis’ voice is so painfully obvious. Tawny gets her dad to answer the winning question, which is to name the “Top 5 most popular lunch meats” — If this was a legit question, Dr. Dean’s answers would most definitely be incorrect. He lists liverwurst and olive loaf but not turkey or roast beef. I told you they’re yuppies. It doesn’t matter though… they become “millionaires” anyway of course. 

“DADDY, WE’RE MILLIONAIRES!!!” 

To Ren’s dismay, Steve and Eileen tell her that they’ve planned a dinner date with the Minkler’s Friday night to welcome them back to the neighborhood. Ren gets another phone call that night that starts off with “Hi, Ren! It’s Bobby.” Bet ya can’t guess what happens next…

Ren assumes it’s Louis and Twitty pranking her again so she plays it up saying “So, this is Bobby Deaver. The hot little cuddle muffin who I love sooo much.” Dude on the other end is all.. “Um.. I guess?” Yeah. It’s actually Bobby this time. Oops. It’s pretty hilarious because she yells “Listen you little twerpazoid, I told you if you ever called me again you’d be sipping your food through a feeding tube!!!” and Bobby’s like “Ren, is this a bad time?” HAHA. Ren has a mental breakdown once she realizes. She quickly apologizes and explains that Louis just discovered prank calling. (“It’s okay I have a little brother too. He’s in 3rd grade.” / “Yeah, well mine just acts like it.” - True.) Ren collapses on her bed and the incredibly cheesy, romantic piano stock music they always use for Ren/Bobby stuff starts playing. Bobby invites her to go to an ice skating party with him on Friday night. This is one of the reasons why I ranked this episode #40. It cuts to Ren’s ridiculous daydream of how she envisions the party. The music swells and it fades to footage of Ren and Bobby dramatically ice skating like freaking professionals competing at the Olympics in an empty, moody-lit rink. It’s absolutely hysterical to me. 

Obviously, she accepts the invitation but — wait! Friday night?! That’s dinner with the Minkler’s! Whatever will she do?! Not even gonna lie. I’m a sucker for this potential “two places at one time” cliché TV trope. Regardless, she still promises Bobby that she’ll be there “...no matter what.” A little melodramatic but, ok. She tells Ruby about the situation the next day and is totally in a bind over what to do. Ruby suggests that she fakes sick to skip out on the dinner and sneak out to the party. This entire episode is giving me flashbacks to Free Skate at the local ice rink every Friday back in middle school and the drama that would always ensue. Especially “relationship” drama. And crush drama. Oh, wow. 

Tawny excitedly runs up to Louis and Twitty in the hall telling them “My dad and I won a MILLION DOLLARS on the radio!” “Ya don’t say?” Louis responds. Which is great. She tells them they’re moving to Paris immediately. Yeah, now Louis and Twitty ain’t laughing. Tawny’s dad picks her up in a limo and everything, and Louis and Twitty are left to break the news to them that they didn’t actually win a million dollars. This is another reason why I ranked this episode higher. I think this is hilarious. Tawny and her dad break down in tears, as do Louis and Twitty. Louis vows “I’m never making prank phone calls again. I’M A BAD BAD BOYYYY!” when suddenly Tawny and Dr. Dean start dying of laughter. Turns out they planned the whole thing to teach them a lesson. Brilliant. 

Tawny tells them, “We knew it was you two the whole time. We have caller ID.” SERIOUSLY, LOUIS?! The first rule of prank calling is to dial *67 first! Amateur. Just imagine that. Tawny picking up the phone seeing “Stevens” or whatever on the caller ID and just going along with Louis’ terrible fake DJ voice, oh my god. She really is perfect for him. Tawny and her dad offer them a ride home in the limo (which is a rental) but speed off without them.

Ren goes through with lying and fakes sick to get out of the dinner. She goes gallivanting off to the skating party and bumps into… Nelson??? Yep. He faked sick, too. Nelson tells her that his feelings were hurt when she refused to give him a simple throat examination. To which Ren responds “Well, people don’t generally ask me to look at their puss balls.” THERE IT IS AGAIN.

For whatever reason, Louis and Tawny are at the party as well. (She asks him where Twitty is and… “He sprained his ankle chasing after the limo.” “You know, I really thought you guys would give up once we hit the freeway.” - Why is this so funny?!) Louis thanks her for teaching him a valuable lesson about the dangers of prank calling. “Gotta grow up sometime,” he says. She’s super impressed and they’re adorable. They skate together and hold hands, which is precious… and it would’ve been even more precious if it was actually Louis’ hand she was holding. But, alas… Louis skates off leaving Tawny holding a fake hand. I’m dying. Louis Stevens — What a legend. It really is so cute seeing them together like this, though.

THEY’RE SO FREAKIN CUTE!!! I’M DYIN

Tawny throws the fake hand, and ends up hitting Nelson in the head. Ren decides to help Nelson instead of doing the couple-skate with Bobby. Wow. I guess that’s nice of her, though. In the end, Ren and Nelson make up and he lists, like.. every single thing he’s allergic to as the episode fades out.

It’s not over though! The bit where they come back for one more minute after the last commercial break is the real reason why I ranked this one #40. Normally, these “last minute” bits are pointless and generally not very funny. But, this one. OH MAN! The first time I watched this I was literally in tears for 10 minutes -- I couldn’t breathe. This time, Louis dreams of him and Tawny skating like Ren dreamed about her and Bobby. Everything’s romantic… until taWNY’S LEG BREAKS OFF AND THE HAPPY MUSIC DRAMATICALLY CHANGES TO MINOR AND WE GET THE CLASSIC LOUIS SCREAM. It’s so freaking random and unexpected and so great.

And there you have it, #40! This is actually one of my personal favorites. I think it’s pretty solid in the humor department. I love the Louis/Tawny stuff. The prank calling bits are great. The Ren/Bobby stuff is finally more funny and entertaining here than cringy. And yeah. I just like this one a lot. 

I also totally didn’t even realize I missed a weekend. THE DAYS HAVE BEEN GOING BY SO FAST!!!! What the heck. Also, we’re now officially moving into the #30s!

Thank you for reading!

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram 

[viscountessevie]

America Singer Week Day 2: America & Family

Someone Like You Pt. 2

That first date was truly marvelous, we laughed, we went down memory lane and generally I had an amazing time. I cannot remember the last time I felt truly happy to be in someone’s company. I never made friends in the classes I took with the other children because they were too intimidated by my parents and by association they were shied away from me. Kota was the first one who didn’t shy away and Aspen tagging along with Kota also made good company.

Snapping out of my little flashback moment, I pick up the phone and shove it into my sleeping boyfriend’s face. Though I knew he wasn’t really sleeping, he was just trying to get out of calling his sister.

“Kota Kansas Singer! I know you aren’t actually sleeping, call America!” He pretended to be slipping into a deeper sleep and turned to the other side. He was the worst roommate ever. Yes, it’s been two years since that first date and we bought a quaint cottage together in Angeles to be near to Magda. I push him off the bed as a punishment. He fell off with a painful thud and when I peeked from the edge of the bed to check on him, the man was still sleeping like a log. It was safe to say he wasn’t pretending to sleep.

An hour later, I was eating my breakfast watching my boyfriend wake up slowly. He sat up groggily from the floor and stared at me sleepily and confused. Well I couldn’t blame him, his girlfriend was eating breakfast cross legged on our bedroom floor while he just woke up from the floor.

“Good morning, sleepy head.” I say sweetly before roughly shoving the portable landline into his hands, “Call America now! No excuses.” I’ve been doing this for the past two years since he was officially elevated to a Royal through his family. I have been forcing him to call his family when the holidays or birthdays rolled around. Today was America’s birthday and it was potent that he called her because he has been making excuses not to call anyone for the entire year now. I’m surprised he never became tired of me forcing to call them on the special occasions without fail and at my ability to put up with his useless excuses.

“Noooo.” He whined. It was bad enough that we missed welcoming the twins into the world, I didn’t want him to miss anymore crucial moments in his family’s lives. When I relayed this back to him, he huffed before giving me the same old answer.

“You’re the only family I need, Lee.” That was sweet and all but when you hear it several times a year, the novelty wears off. There was a new found determination in me today. I wasn’t going to let this slide. I set down my plate of delicious scrambled eggs and picked up the phone. I dialled the private Palace number that Magda had given me and waited as it rang. Finally someone picked it up giggling.

“Maxon, no! Someone’s calling! Hello, Queen America speaking.” I cracked a smile at my future sister-in-law. Only she could make calling the King by his first name sound natural. It took a few hellos from America to snap me out my daydream where I envisioned a future like this with Kota. After he gets over his huge ego.

“Hello America, this is Leah...um Kota’s girlfriend?” I have no idea why that last part came out as a question, I wasn’t even sure if Magda told America about me or that she had given me her private number.

“Leah! My mother has spoken about you.” I let out the breath I didn’t realise I was holding in. This is a start, she knows me.

“I was wondering if Kota and I could invite you to a birthday meal, our treat.”

“NO!” Kota protested, still sprawled on the floor like a bum. I shushed him before reprimanding him harshly. “You don’t get a say in this, Mister. You are lying on the floor like a bum and are not making an effort.” I heard America laugh musically over the line.

“I like you Leah. How about you come over to the Palace for lunch today around noon onwards? I’m sure it’s about time my brother and I tried to work things out...” Her tone sounded forced when she talked about working things out with Kota. I could only guess that the King persuaded her to do so like how I was doing with Kota. She asked for our address, saying that she'll have a car sent and we bid each other goodbye. I set down the receiver smiling, having made a new friend in the Queen of Illèa.

***

I straighten his gray tie and smooth over the light creases on his sleeves. I step back to examine my handiwork. I smile satisfied.

“Well don't you look handsome, Mr. Singer?” I grin cheekily at him. He bites his lip, indicating him being turned on. I widen my eyes in faux innocence and wag my finger playfully at him. He steps forward and encircles his arms around my waist, pulling me to him.

“You are stunning as well, Ms. Lovett.” I giggled as he pulled me in for a kiss.

I pull away a little while later when I realised the car was to pull up any moment. I grab my purse and smooth over the wrinkle on my dress. It was rather pretty dress, a subtle orange and green intricately patterned dress that came down to my knees, hopefully it was good enough for the palace. We head out to the curb, hand in hand, waiting for the car. It was rather hard to miss, it was a long and slick onyx limousine. Kota pulled open the door for me before the chauffeur could, it was a wonder how he could be such a gentleman but so awful at times. He likes to joke that I'm only special one who deserves such kindness but it always leaves me feeling disgruntled.

I settle into the seat when I'm faced with shockingly familiar green eyes. My memory of him is fading since I haven't seen him since we were little but this man seated beside me was Aspen Leger. He really grew into an impressive figure. I remember seeing him as a kid, he was scrawny but now he was still lean but had well toned, muscular arms. My momentary ogling was put to a stop when Kota came to sit beside me and was greeted with a hostile punch. I fell back into my cushioned seat from the shock of what happened. I turned to Aspen with a glare and at the same time shielding Kota from any more physical abuse.

“Was that really necessary?” I questioned with a set jaw. I knew Kota was a jerk but I do not take kindly to people who assault him. Use your words, people! “That was for blackmailing Mer about us.” Aspen ignored me and spat that at my boyfriend. Still shielding Kota, I leaned forward, making sure Aspen noticed me.

“Excuse me, I’m right here and I asked you a question. That was completely unnecessary and uncalled for. I'm only going to ask you to do this once otherwise we are going have a horrid experience on the way to the Palace. Apologise to him. I know my boyfriend is a jerk and he has done many awful things but that does not make him a punching bag. Kota, apologise to Aspen for blackmailing your sister.”

Both of them mumbled apologises and sat in sullen silence for the rest of the ride. I examined Kota’s face for any bruising. Since I was in between the two men, Aspen missed and softened the blow so he only nicked Kota’s jaw. I rub it soothingly for the rest of the ride. The only time Aspen spoke to us was to brief us on his presence; he would be our guard-escort for the entity of this visit (neither of the men liked the idea of this) and the security measures within the Palace. They would have to search our carry ons - my purse - and us before we could enter the Palace.

After our security check, Aspen guided us to the Dining Hall. Before we entered, I turned to Aspen and offered him a civil smile, “It was nice seeing you again, Aspen save for the moment you assaulted my boyfriend. You grew well into your arms.” I compliment and he throws me a playful wink. It was intentional to get a reaction out of Kota who immediately pulls me closer to his side.

“I'll be joining you in a few moment I just need to change into something more casual.” This caused Kota to narrow his eyes into threatening slits. I elbow him for being so rude. Aspen gives me a slight bow before walking off in the other direction. I pull out of Kota gripping hold and start walking ahead, putting distance between.

“I’m a girl, Kota. Not a toy that you feel so threatened of losing.” My tone is sharp so he knows he’s in trouble. He catches up to me but before he could say he was sorry, we were faced with the royal family. I fell into a deep curtsy but Kota was reluctant to bow until I tugged on his arm. We stood together and made our way to our seats. For the sanity of everyone, Kota sat on my left, reasonably far from the rest of the family. While we waited for the food, I introduced myself to the family and they went around doing the same. It was funny how I was with the man for 2 years and never properly knew his family, I didn't even know May and Gerad’s names until now. I was able to swoon and coo at the little twins. Eadlyn made a grab for my finger and shook it firmly. She was born to be Queen while her brother was a cute fluff of blonde. They were a lovely family and I already felt so welcomed and a part of the family. How could he hate them so much?

After the initial introductions and small talk, I took out America’s present from my purse. I honestly hope she liked it. She gasped when she caught sight of it.

“I'm sorry it isn't wrapped, it's something I picked up today in town.”

“I LOVE IT!” She exclaimed excitedly and was about to pop the faux strawberry tart into her mouth when I stopped her. I explained that it was a compact case to keep trinkets like personal jewelry. Her face turned sheepish at her mistake. Everyone simply laughed it off as she thanked me for the gift.

It was a great feast, stories were exchanged all around and I laughed when I was told embarrassingly cute childhood stories about Kota as a child. While I was having my fun, I should have seen it coming. He was getting restless and more sullen as the lunch went on. The tipping point was when Aspen came in with Lucy, his wife. All eyes were on them obviously because new company is always seen. My gaze on Aspen, however agitated Kota and he took it out on America when the old childhood friend of his sat next to his sister. I should have stopped him when he sneered before I let him open his big mouth. How did I not see it coming?

“Still getting around I see.” He commented sharply and loudly enough for everyone to hear. For extra effect, he gestured between her husband and Aspen and how she was perfect situated between both men. The whole table immediately fell silent. I was disgusted with Kota's behaviour. I was about to tell him off when America beat me to it.

“What did you say?” Her tone was chilling to the bone. He had the nerve to look bored and stared at her square in the eye.

“You heard me.” Her cutlery clattered onto the table like harsh rain. Her face turned as red as her hair.

“Get out.” She tried to keep her composure. When he made no move, she started to yell, “GET OUT, GET OUT!” I practically shoved him out of the chair. When the guards came forth to escort him out, he waved them away,

“I can see myself out.”

I burned with humiliation. How could he do that? I apologised profusely and gave the Royal Family a deep curtsy before running after him. Never again, I decided as I chased him, will I clean up his messes again. I will never allow him to put me in that situation ever again. I refused to speak to or ever look at him throughout our ride back home. I stepped out and stared at the cottage, it no longer felt like home.

I roughly brushed past him and marched into the house. I efficiently went to our room and started packing. I could feel his eyes burning into my back as he watched me pack away. A part of me wanted him to stop me and ask why. I wanted to tell him why and I wanted him to try to mend his mistake. I would still be mad at him for a while but I just wanted the effort from him. I saw the fallen tear glisten on my suitcase as I realised he wasn't going to even try to stop me.

My spirits were slightly lifted when he spoke just before I was out the door.

“Just like everyone else.” I lower my suitcase, slowly pivoting on my heel to face him. “What?” I wasn't sure where this was going. “You're leaving just like everyone else.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. I drop my suitcase completely and almost go to hug him when I hold back. He can't just make a mess of things and then pull a pity card for me to forgive him.

“I never want to be put in a situation like that ever again but I'm not leaving. I just need a break and so do you. You need to reevaluate your life, Kota. How could you be so cruel to your family like that?”

“Those people were not my family! They have never cared for me, it was always about America the most talented or Kenna the eldest or May the most amusing and even when Gerad came along, he was adored! I'm so glad I left, I don't need them!” I should have seen how ignore he felt instead I was too blinded by my anger at his lack of gratitude.

“THEY STILL LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU, YOU IDIOT! I bet if you just went to any of them, you would have been showered with the attention, instead you shut yourself away. YOU WEREN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO FELT TRAPPED BY THEIR CASTE!” I finally scream at him. I could no longer keep this secret from him. He stares at me dumbfounded. I take my cue to continue.

“I hate teaching. I never wanted to take over my parents’ profession. I wanted to sing and write. I could write as a Three but my parents insisted I teach and so ultimately my main ambition to be a singer was disposed off. At least you like what you do and have a family who supports what you do and love! Be grateful for once in your life, you brat!” As soon as the insult left my lips I regretted it. Kota’s face hardened. One of the best parts of our relationships was that we were supportive and kind to each other. Calling him a brat - something that all his family members have thought about him once or twice - was a harsh blow to him. It was even worse coming from me because I was a person who could be trusted to always be his pillar of kindness. I reach out to him, the phrase I’m sorry tumbling from my lips. He turns away. In a very quietly powerful and anger voice, he tells me to get out.

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4

[alloverroliver-blog]

Loki X MC “With A Little Encouragement”

Rated E: Loki Genetta

WC: 2,896

Ikemen Revolution Fanfic

I don’t know why I couldn’t get that mysterious man out of my head. His sexy smile and the way he wasn’t scared to be near me piqued my curiosity. I lay in my warm bed, staring up at the ceiling through the dim light of the window.

Ray was always so distant from me, never holding my hand not even giving me a friendly hug. I was happy for our friendship that we developed, but when I met the Cheshire Cat in the woods, a new feeling crept up inside of me. I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing at the memory of his miss-matched eyes.

My arm was still warm where he brushed it, and my forehead still tingly where he left a kiss. Ray was upset Loki was so close to me the entire time he guided us from the forest. Without a good enough reason to stay away, I allowed Loki to dote over me. I slid my finger over the swell of my lips, then pushed a piece of hair behind my ears.

My mind couldn’t go anywhere else but him, and his touch. What little contact we had set my body ablaze at the moment. I tried to remember the feeling of his hand on my skin as my own hand slid over my arm. He was soft and gentle I recalled.

Closing my eyes, I envisioned my hand was his. His fingertips tantalizing my stomach, swiping the swell of my breast. I bit my lip, feeling the desire heat my core. Trailing the tips of my fingers down my torso, I imagined Loki dipping his hand down the front of my panties.

I gasped as my fingers found my clit, rubbing lightly. I wanted to call out his name but my cheeks were already burning red at the thought of him touching me so intimately. I hoped I could see him again, wished with all my heart he would find me.

The next morning I awoke well rested with a slip of paper under my door. I combed through my knotted hair, thanks to the many daydreams I had the night before of Loki, and plucked the note up.

I tore the paper, walking to the bathroom to brush my teeth and take a shower for the day. The name everyone called me by scribbled on the front. ‘Alice’.

I didn’t recognize the penmanship, so I tore it open quickly to see who it could be.

The first line read ‘Dear, Alice’ I scrunched up my nose, and went to the bottom of the page. “Who is this” I wondered out loud. Flipping the note over I looked at the signature. ‘Sincerely, Loki Genetta’

“Oh my god!” I giggled, running back to the bed.

I flopped on my stomach to read the letter immediately. Skimming it first, I noticed he said something about a meetup. I reread the note again slowly. This time picking up on all the subtle jokes he made, watching his personality shine through the paper.

I sat there for a moment dazed, dropping the paper on to the bed and rubbing my head in my hands. He wants to meet me in secret. Tonight.

I made up my mind right then, I would go to him and I wouldn’t tell a soul. I took the note and folded it, shoving it in my shoe by the door to make sure I remembered it.

Time dragged on, but I happily made myself busy as I waited the day away. The thought of meeting him alone tonight filled me with so much excitement but also nervous energy. I waited until everyone had gone to bed before getting dressed.

My plan was to slip out right under their noses. The coast was clear in the halls, and I was easily able to slip out of the barracks front door. I moved to the side and walked as silently as I could to the back of the building. When the guards left the vicinity I booked it down the streets. Past the other barracks and houses.

Soon I was at the edge of the forest near where his letter said to meet. I walked along the tree line away from the barracks, and out of sight from the houses. The air blew through the forest, chilling my skin as I waited.

“Been here long.” Loki’s cheery voice traveled over the wind to meet my ears.

“No, just got here.” I smiled as he approached. “Hello.” I greeted after he neared me.

“Hello, Alice” His smile was all-encompassing over his features.

I wondered what we would do. I didn’t actually think much past initially seeing him and now I felt the anxiety build up as to what to say next.

“My house is this way.” He gestured, holding his hand out to mine.

I looked at his open palm, crushing the fall leaves under my feet as I walked. Was he guiding me, or did he want to move fast?

“You don’t want to hold my hand?” His features were soft as he gazed at me.

“Oh, um…. sure. I didn’t know that’s what you were wanting” I nervously laughed, linking our hands together.

“Did the letter not mention this was a date?” He laughed, guiding me through the trees toward the direction he said his house was in.

It did, I think. I couldn’t remember and I regretfully didn’t have a chance to reread it too many times in hopes of not getting caught. His thumb caressed the back of my hand, bringing me back into the moment.

“I think I thought about you all day yesterday.” The corners of his eyes crinkled as he marched on.

His bold confession caught me off guard. “Yeah me too.” I blinked in surprise at my own words.

What was I saying? I wondered why he was so easy to talk to and hoped he wouldn’t weasel too much more out of me tonight.

He slowed his pace, turning to look at me as we came to a halt. “You did?” He smiled genuinely.

“I did. Sorry, this is kind of weird. I barely know you and yet we’re acting like we’ve known each other all our lives.”

“Is that a bad thing, Alice? You are the nicest person I’ve ever met, I want to make you feel happy and welcome.” His eyes searched mine.

I could practically see the self-doubt bubbling up behind his lively facade. My heart flipped, not wanting to hurt him in any way. I squeezed his hand and gave him a wide smile.

“No! Not at all. Your friendliness caught me off guard, that’s all.” I mimicked his prior movements, rubbing his knuckles with my thumb.

Loki visibly relaxed, dropping his shoulders. “You’re amazing.” His bright smile was back, tugging me along to his house.

His house was quaint in the middle of the trees. The walkway lit up an leading us inside. The place smelled of citrus, freshly cleaned, and the quaintness only multiplied inside. Knick-knacks and handmade furniture were strone about.

Loki and I had a normal dinner, our legs touched as we sat together and our hands intertwined a few times. I was happy here, happy with him and the affection he gave me.

He was so hospitable, making sure I had everything I needed. When he offered to walk me home, disappointment filled me. He reassured me we would meet again, and soon.

I think he was overly happy that I didn’t want to leave, it caused him to whistle into the night as we stepped hand in hand. Walking deeper into the forest towards the black army barracks, we slowed.

At some point, we were dragging our feet and Loki took the time to wrap his arm around my waist. I moved closer to him, drinking in his warmth that filled my body. This is what I’ve been looking for, and my heart knew it before I did.

I tripped, and he caught me. His hand slid down my side and next thing I knew, my back was against a tree. We stood still, holding each other close.

I knew the barracks couldn’t be far, yet neither of us wanted to end our evening. His forehead rested on mine, and my arms tightened around his neck. If we were going to give each other a goodbye kiss, this is where it would have to happen.

The wind rustled the leaves and our bodies slowly pressed against each other. My heart rate skyrocketed when his hand moved up to cup my cheek.

“Loki,” His name came out as a whisper. “Thank you for tonight, I had an amazing time.”

He smiled again, for the millionth time tonight. “I knew when I met you we would click.”

His words were almost cocky, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I adjusted my body under his that pressed up against me. His thumb slid under my bottom lip, then his eyes locked with mine in an intense stare.

I stopped my breath for a moment. “Are you going to kiss me or what?” I smirked at my challenge.

I had grown so comfortable with him in our few hours together. My boldness rarely soared, only taking flight when I was purely confident in the situation.  His eyes flicked to amusement at the drop of a hat.  

With a smiled he leaned in, nipping my top lip. “I might do everything but kiss you since you want to give me so much attitude.”

I gulped, trying to take a step back as the shyness crept over me again. The tree halted my movements poking a jagged piece of bark into my back.

“Only if you want.” He whispered against my cheek.

His hand rested on my hip tugging me right up against his body. His hair caressed my skin as the swell of his lips moved over my skin. I guess technically it wasn’t kissing, but I still took it as a win.

“What exactly are you alluding to.” My breath became labored at his insinuation.

“Just teasing you, Alice” He spoke in a low rumble, warm breath tickling my ear.

His particularly sharp teeth scraped my neck, sending a shiver through me.

“Oh.” I hadn’t meant the word to make me sound so disappointed, but I would be lying to myself if I didn’t want something to happen.

I needed to egg him on, do something that would get him going to make sure he didn’t stop.

“Don’t sound so sad.  Tell me where your mind went and I might reward you.”

My mind went to some amazingly dirty places filled with cobwebs. Things I hadn’t thought about in a long time swam around my mental space. They weren’t ladylike things, nor fantasies you would bring up on the first date.

I willed my hands to move, ruffling up his hair to cause a distraction. Loki laughed into my neck.

“Just tell me one thing. I’m curious now.” His nose brushed my cheek, moving back into view.

Our eyes locked in a heated stare. “Alice, don’t make me use magic on you.” His eyes crinkled with his smile. After a beat, he added.  “Just kidding I wouldn’t do tha-”

“Do it.” The butterflies in my stomach stirred.

“What,” He lifted his head, straightening his back. “but what if you tell me something you wanted to keep secret.”

He looked genuinely concerned, cupping my cheek. “It was a joke… but If you want me to. Say the word.”

He seemed to be massively curious if I would go through with it, but my lips were sealed in my current state. Who knows, maybe it would be fun?

“Yes.” I blurted the word out.

I bit my lip when his eyes turned red.

“Let’s seal it with a kiss”

When his lips crashed into mine, a warm sensation tickled my lips, traveling down my throat. His tongue slid past the seam, moving over mine languidly.

“Tell me a secret” He spoke into the kiss, fingertips digging into my sides.

“I’ve liked you since the moment I met you,” I confessed, smashing my lips into his.

“Me too.” His voice cracked with some amalgamation of happy and lonely.

“I wanted to kiss you the second I saw you tonight.” Loki used his turn to confess something to me.

Now, I wished he would have. Nothing in my life had ever gone this perfectly.

His lips moved down my neck, this time leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. He licked at the underside of my ear and whispered. “Your turn.”

The words came to my mouth, I felt the embarrassment and alarm bells to ‘stop’ go off in my mind. Yet, the spell allowed for me to blurt it out with ease. “I touched myself thinking of you last night.”

The sound of my heart rate could have been heard for miles. Loki paused mid-kiss on my lobe. He let out a long sigh, then his hands cupped my breast.

I almost went to protest at the sudden contact when I realized that had been my goal this whole time. He was only slightly rough with his hands, dragging the fabric over my nipples in such a way I gasped.

“Do you do that often.” His voice was deeper, stirring the desire low in my abdomen.

“N-no.”

His thumbs pressed hard on my nipples over the shirt. I arched my body into him allowing the sensation to wash over me.

“I would have liked to watch you.” He was panting now, without me even touching him.

The thought of him watching me send another hot flash through my body.

“I imagined you had. You watched me… finger myself.” My skin was narrowly catching fire at my own words.

This was all true, I wish he could have watched me. Loki’s teeth dug into my shoulder, stretching my top down to explore it. One hand kneaded my breast while the other now pulled my clothes to expose more skin.

His erection pressed against my abdomen grinding himself on me. In a bold moment, I cupped his bulge, gently squeezing my hand over his solid member.

“Ha, ahh. Fuck” His voice dipped.

His hand flew down to my core, mimicking my movements. Over my clothed sex, he pushed and prodded at my clit with skill. Our lips crashed together, stifling each other’s moans.

“You really did, didn’t you.” He spoke, breathing roughly.

Nodding in affirmation, I palmed his hard cock over his trousers.  His fingers pushed against my clit through my pants. We stood pressed against the tree pleasuring one another without ever taking our clothes off.

His breathing grew increasingly ragged the longer I ran my hand over him. My hips began moving in sync with his fingers, realizing my rapidly upcoming release.

“I think I’m…” I whimpered out, dropping my head low to concentrate on his touch.

His body thrust up against mine. I moved my hand out of the way and allowed his cock to grind directly against my clothed core. He took my hand, pushing it up over my head. My other arm was wrapped tightly around his side. He ran himself up and down my clit with long strokes, dazing me with ceaseless pleasure.

My hips moved with his, both trying to kiss and touch every inch of each other. Teeth and lips mixing the rougher he pushed his hips into mine. We were just grinding on each other but the pleasure was so intense it began to overflow inside me.

“God- I’m cuming.” I let out a loud moan, tossing my head back against the tree as Loki’s cock ran along my core, lips pressing into my neck.

My pussy pulsed, sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout my whole body. I felt my panties soak through the longer my release went on. I came down all at once as the orgasm stopped abruptly.

“I’m glad you cast that spell.” I huffed, wrapping my arms around him and laying my head lazily over his shoulder.

“What spell?” He spoke coolly, nuzzling his nose into my hair.

My brows pinched. “You know the truth one…. from a moment ago. Your eyes got all red.” I reminded.

“Oh!” Loki laughed, kissing the side of my forehead. “I didn’t actually use any magic. That would have worn me out.”

“What!” I yelled, echoing through the trees.

I looked around, clamoring at his jacket to find a nice solid spot to hit him. With a giant grin, Loki hugged me to him again.

“Looks like you can be bold all on your own.”

I let the evening process in my mind. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, but he was more intriguing than I gave him credit for. I couldn’t be mad, instead, I held him close to me in silence.

I wanted to feel more of him, see more of him. Yet, tonight was the tip of the iceberg. What else Loki had in store for me, I didn’t know. I knew I would meet him out here again and again as long as we never got caught.

.

.

.

Thank you, Anon for the prompt request!

I really like to write Loki as a lil shit :P

Masterlist // Ko-Fi <3 // A03

50 notes Dec 1st, 2018

[alifeenrouteblog]

a letter to my future significant other

Two things to note. Once, I wrote this over the course of many months so the timeline and where I am does not always track. It jumps around a lot. Second, The gender of this fictitious person is not the point of the essay. I wrote this to a man, to simplify the use of pronouns, but I am a firm believer that sexuality is a spectrum and I may not end up with a man.

To my significant other,

I’m not sure when I am sharing this with you. Maybe it’s the day I decide that I love you. Or maybe I’m reading this as our wedding vows. Or giving this to you the night before our wedding. I don’t know. Because the truth is, at the time I am writing this, I don’t know you. I don’t know how we met. Or when. I know that right now, I can’t wait to meet you. I know I will share this with you. I know I will meet you. I know that I cannot wait for our lives together, the life we create, side by side. I know that we are best friends. I know that I will love you unconditionally and you will love me unconditionally, each and every day after we meet.

I’m in Budapest right now, alone, and I miss you dearly. I went to the bath houses today and saw couples smiling, splashing, and laughing. My heart hurt that you weren’t here. So, I spent the day thinking about us traveling to unknown countries together. I thought about us getting lost in cities together. I imagined us going to places you’ve been but I have not, and you show me the best spots in town, unknown to tourists. We will swap stories of trips we took before we knew each other, laughing at the hijinks we got ourselves into, but silently grateful that we don’t have to travel without each other anymore, if we don’t want to.

In the pool of the bath house today, I daydreamed about our trips where we to do nothing but lie in the sun and sand, playing in the water; but my favorite part is listening to the waves, reading, next to you. I thought about how our hair gets sandy, salty, and mine is knotty and how I return to our home with pink skin and extra freckles. You said it’s cute when I inevitably complain (but really, I’m searching for a compliment).

I’m back in the US and it’s wedding season. Every photo on my Instagram feed of a beautiful bride in a gorgeous dress kissing her loving husband stings a tiny bit. Not because I don’t like that couple. Or that I’m jealous. But because I’m so scared that I won’t meet you. Or because I miss you so much. I am yearning for you to look at me the same way I see these newlyweds look at each other. But you’re not looking at me that way yet. So, I keep thinking about our lives.

The other day, I thought about us in our home. Our walks with Daphne on sunny Saturdays. We might do different things, separately with our own friends. We will spend nights and days apart. Doing our own things. We will never police each other. We’re confident in our relationship and we don’t have to control one another. And when we’re not, we can tell each other that.

I envisioned our laziness too. Lying in bed reading on rainy Sundays. Sipping coffee. I hope you get coffee and bagels before I wake up. I’ll do it for you when I wake up first, but that’s just unlikely to happen. Because we both know I can sleep for 22 hours a day. I smile just thinking about us reading and working on our computers in bed all day.

Some weekends, we’re hungover. Maybe just me. And I have to eat breakfast to feel better, so you run to get us food. And you get way too much so we have a feast in bed, while we fend off Daphne and Pizza Baby from getting our food. While we chow down,

I thought about nights out and how you never tell me that I’ve drank too much. Instead, you will notice when I am too drunk to be in public, order a pizza and a cab, and then tell me that you’ve scheduled a pizza to arrive at the exact moment we get home. You will help me devour the pizza. When we wake up the next morning, you won’t make me feel bad for something stupid I did while drunk. I love that about you. But while we’re we recap the previous night’s funny moments you do impressions of me from the night before – making me laugh until my stomach hurts.

I am mostly happy right now, but my heart hurts thinking about how you’re not here with me right now, in Berlin. I feel lonely but I don’t want just anyone to fill this void - I want you by my side.

It’s hard loving you and not knowing you. But I do. I know that you have this unconditional love for me too, because I’m a mess, and you would not stick around for this mess unless you really loved me.

You know everything about me and still love me. You won’t judge me for my debt or the number of men I’ve been with, or how much I drink. You know that my greatest fear, before I met you, was not meeting you and dying alone. But you’ve alleviated that fear. And you make sure to remind me in some way every day, that I never have to consider that again. You know that my greatest fear is being ordinary and you make sure that never happens. You know that my second greatest fear is not living up to my father’s expectations. You console me when this inevitably happens.

I know we won’t want to have kids. But I imagine after three to five years, we will consider it because we were so in love, but immediately stop considering it. Then we’ll consider it off and on for the next decade until it doesn’t seem plausible. We will enjoy our child-less life. I hope we move a lot. I hope we’re always talking about where to settle down. Neither of us can figure it out. We’re nomadic by nature. I don’t know where our home is, but I know it is cozy and filled with laughter.

I don’t mind being alone or waiting for you, in and of itself. I’m just terrified of not being enough. Thanks to years of therapy, medicine, and self-help books, most days I believe I am enough and I really love myself. But I have insecurities that rise to the surface when I’m vulnerable. I’m just human, a human who is terrified that being single forever, which will mean I’m not enough. And I’m terrified that I won’t be enough for you. I think about this. All of the time. So, I work on myself. All of the time.

But when we are ready to spend our lives together, you are excited to marry me. You’re not scared of me or us or commitment. You’re not threatened by feminism. I will never be too much for you. You don’t mind when I’m loud, big, or angry. You won’t call me moody or abrasive. You might not always agree with me but you know that my emotions come from my passion and empathy and are always grounded in love. You’re not scared of my light. You know there’s enough light for both of us. And you will never make me sacrifice myself and who I am in exchange your love and affection.

You never asked me to take your last name. And you will never ask my dad for my hand in marriage. Because I’ve told you my aversion to these antiquated sexist traditions, most likely on our third date during a drunk diatribe.

You’re never intimidated by me or threatened by my intelligence, confidence, or success. You love me because of those things. But you love me more because I don’t ever know where to harness my energy, intellect, and passion. You will have the same conversation with me yearly, monthly, or maybe weekly, about what I should do, and you are always supportive.

I think about you reading my writing. You love it because you think I am talented and you genuinely enjoy my work. But you also love to celebrate me, put me first, let me shine, dream alongside me, and fearlessly know me.

As much as it hurts, I am grateful for this time without you. I’m glad I did not meet you in college. Or my early twenties. I need this time alone to heal from the past. I need to experience others to figure out what I want and need from you. And I’m having fun but I hate that you are not the man I make love to. I don’t think about you when I’m with other men. Only sometimes. When I’m very lonely. Most of the time you don’t cross my mind when I’m with someone else. But now, as I sit here, thinking about them compared to you, I hate that I’m not with you.

That being said, I am so thankful for all of the men who disappointed me before you, because they all taught me something. Something that made me stronger, more self-realized, more confident.

I am thankful for the firefighter for teaching me that I love big strong legs and that it is okay to want a man with a strong sex drive.

Thankful for the boy from Bumble for teaching me that I don’t have to lower my standards just to alleviate my loneliness. Never again do I need to be with someone who doesn’t ask questions about myself. Or shows little interest in me. I deserve more than a guy giving the littlest amount of effort. He taught me that when I ask a man to hang out and he says, “maybe” or “IDK” or some other bullshit answer, that he’s not my person and I don’t have to stick around to see if it gets better or try to convince him that I’m enough for him.

Thankful to my ex in Chicago; for teaching me not to lose myself in you or anyone else. How important it is to stay true to who I am and pursue my dreams. To never submit to someone else. That being in a relationship doesn’t mean I am a caretaker. Through him, I learned to look for a partner.

Thankful to the man I loved harder than anyone, until I met you, for teaching me that I need to find a partner with courage, someone who is not scared of his feelings for me. I now know that I want someone who is ready for me. I don’t have to beg for your love.

Right now, long before we’ve slept together, I sit here at the bar thinking about us in bed. You love my body. You think every inch is perfect. The stretch marks, cellulite, and rolls on my belly and thighs. You love that my right breast is larger than my left. You adore the moles on my face. You point out the freckle on right butt cheek. You love running your fingers through my hair when we kiss. When I’m sleeping, you trace the outline of my tattoos with your forefingers. After a few years, you’ve memorized them and can do it with your eyes closed.

I think about how you will have temptations and urges and want to explore, all of which is healthy. I will too. If we need to, we will have a conversation about it and come up with a solution that works for us. Because we will never hold resentment against one another.

Last week was hard for me.  I was depressed, anxious, scared, mean. I cried a lot. In public. I fought with my parents. I wished you were here. But you weren’t here, so I thought about the way you will treat me when I am having a hard time.

I thought about you rubbing my back while I have a panic attack. You do not just tell me it will be okay, you sit with me in my pain. You know that I can be a negative person. Who suffers from depression and anxiety. Who has to take an antidepressant cocktail every day to stay sane. That won’t bother you. You love me harder. And when I have dark days you know when to leave me alone and when to come lie beside me while I cry. You’ll also know that I can be the happiest person, full of life, who seeks out adventures. You love that I love everyone and how I tell them often.

I will drive you nuts. But you never doubt your love for me. You’re never weary on commitment. When you met me, you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.

I don’t know how you express your love, but I know that I never doubt your love for me. I see how you put my needs before yours. I don’t have a job right now. I’m confused about where to go next. I’ve never been in this position before. But I have had a series of jobs where a lot of people hate me and I can’t seem to move up, despite my strong skill set and work ethic. I rub a lot of people the wrong way. It’s not their fault. But I don’t believe it is my fault either. I am who I am.

My whole life I have wished I was more like my parents, in one sense: they’re charismatic and everyone loves them. Especially at work. But what I know now is that they use their best for work and others. Not for their significant other. I see how people take out their daily stress on the people closest to them, especially their partner. I save my best for my loved ones. And I know that we save our best for each other. 

I know that we inspire each other to be better versions of ourselves, while at the same time accepting each other for who we are. We take risks and go after our dreams. Encouraging each other. When it seems impractical, we get creative and try to find another way. We work hard. Individually and collectively. We teach each other things. We inspire each other.

When promotions at work and potential moves and risks come up, we talk about them together. You support my career more than your own. Because you know that I support yours over mine. And you know that this is the ultimate sacrifice for me, symbolizing my belief that you are the love of my life, who I am supposed to be with for the rest of my life.

I know we will fight. But more often than our fights, we are open and honest with each other, about our fears, insecurities. I hope our fights are weak and infrequent. I am confident that we will work on our marriage. We will talk through things, give space when we need, and always love each other.

I know that we will experience failure, job losses, mistakes, we have each other to inspire each other to jump back. We will see our family members get sick and pass. Our businesses will fail. We will have financial hardships and when life is unbearable, and it doesn’t seem like we can’t go on, I know our love can summon the strengths for us to get through it.

What I can’t stop thinking about is the way you look at me, which is weird and difficult, because I don’t know what you look like or how you could possibly look at me. But I imagine your eyes light up as I walk into a room. I think about how you smile at me as I pontificate. And if I’m lucky enough to have a camera capture it, when we are close for a kiss, I can see the joy beaming across your face.

We grow together. You are not my long-lost soul mate, completing me. I don’t make you whole. We are two separate beings, perfect on our own. We don’t rely on each other to go places or fix ourselves. We take ourselves places.

I love you so much. I can’t wait to learn everything about you. I can’t wait to tell you all the specific things I love about you when I learn them.

Today, I am thinking about how I sometimes look at you – you don’t know I’m watching you - just think to myself that I’m the luckiest girl in the world.

The Nation has a song, “Twenty Nine”, and there’s a line in it: You know I dreamed about you/For twenty-nine years before I saw you/You know I dreamed about you/I missed you for, for twenty-nine years

And that’s how I feel. I’ve been dreaming about you for as long as I have lived. I don’t know how long I will have to wait, but I know I will never be a young bride. But when the day comes, I don’t mind how long I had to wait; every day will have been worth it. To be here with you. Because the way you look at me makes it all worth it. The way you look into my eyes, and smile.