#whcih is so insanely early

[smoosnoom]

hi can u guys let me know what time u eat dinner

[goldenkamuyhunting]

The sad news of Kentaro Miura's death have shaken the world of manga (and I dare say of comic books or even pop culture). I was wondering how do you think his masterpiece, Berserk, compares to Golden Kamuy and if an influence of sorts of the former can somehow be found in the latter. The theme of ambition is certainly there, as the topos of the tough and scary main character briken by trauma but with a heart of gold. What do you think?

Well...

I honestly wouldn't compare the two because to me they're two very different works although both are seinen who won the Tezuka Osamu Cultural Prize.

"Berserk" was monthly first then semimonthly, "Golden Kamuy" is weekly, which might seems irrelevant but the release date affect the pacing of the story greatly.

"Berserk" belongs to the Dark Fantasy genre while "Golden Kamuy" is an Historical manga, which means the authors have to worry about completely different things when crafting their story which allows them to pursue their themes in different ways.

Even the way the manga are structured is different, although both have many characters, "Berserk" for a long time has tended to focus the most on Guts, while GK shows itself to be a coral work from very early on.

There are some things that are similar, war, ambition, wish for a place to belong, trauma, but exactly because one is a dark fantasy while the other is historical, they're handled very differently.

In a dark fantasy you can view situations as metaphorical, in real life no one can experience "the eclipse" the way Guts and Caska do or sacrifice people to the God Hand's "apostles" the way Griffith does, but such situations can stand for real life experiences if you're willing to engage in the text as such, you might even enjoy how it's tinged in themes that reminds Nietzsche's ideas... or you can keep distance from it and just view it as a dark fantasy in which there are monsters that do terrible things to the humans and that need to be destroyed but none of this will happen in the real world so you can just enjoy the ride.

In an historical manga the experiences of the characters are things many people experience in real life. The Russo-Japanese war happened and, while now wars are more 'modern', there are things that still are the same. Sugimoto's experiences during the war, his coming back from it psychologically scarred are things that happened to tons of men, an experience that will continue being done as long as war exist. It's more difficult to keep distance, because even if the characters are fictionals most of what is mentioned is so very real it's easier it pushes you to think.

Mind you, I'm not saying this to say one is better than the other, just to say the two are so very different it doesn't seem fair to compare them.

In their genres I think they're both very good works, very solid and well studied, which tackle strong themes but in different ways and that the reader of one might not necessarily like the other but that they both deserve to be read.

"Berserk" is what I consider to be a classic in the manga world, "Golden Kamuy" is too new to be considered a classic but I expect it to become one.

Did "Berserk" get to influence "Golden Kamuy"?

Berserk started in 1989 (LOL, I've been reading it from 1996, it was a lifetime ago... I even watched the first anime series and brought the cd... "Forces" is still one of the songs I love the most), which places it close to "Hokuto no Ken" (which started in 1983) and "JoJo no Kimyō na Bōken" (which started in 1987) while GK is comparatively a newborn, as it started in 2014. We know Noda referenced both "Hokuto no Ken" and "JoJo". Right now I can't remember him mentioning "Berserk" (but it can be he did) and we don't know how old Noda is but I think there's a chance those are works he grew up with and if you grow up with something that's on this level of good, chances are it will directly or indirectly influence you.

So yes, it's definitely possible Miura's work influenced Noda, but as we can't know for sure it's hard to say.

The tough and scary main character briken by trauma but with a heart of gold is a common trope in storyteling but honestly, although Guts and Sugimoto live some similar experiences, to me they look as very different characters.

Guts had a tragic birth, as his mother was hung while she was pregnant and he was found by a slightly insane woman under her hanging body. His adoptive mother loves him but dies of illness, his adoptive father is a monster who mistreates him and sells him out to another man while Guts is desperate for his love. After he kils his adoptive father he continues to live alone as a mercenary untill he'll stumble into Griffith who'll force him to join him.

Sugimoto is instead for most of his youth a normal boy who lives a normal life with his beloved family and his friends and would have continued to live a normal life hadn't his family died due to sickness whcih caused him too to be ostracized. As a result Sugimoto does a couple of bad but understandable choices which lead him to lose Umeko to Toraji. He ends up in Tokyo, accepts to work for Kikuta and ultimately decides to join the army.

Of course the stories of both characters progress but they'll keep on progressing in different ways.

Sugimoto's life isn't a bowl of cherries but, compared to Guts' is litterally heaven on earth.

After the Eclipse Guts will become bitter, when Guts met Puck he cares little about how the citizens will be killed, all he wants is to deal with the Snake Lord. He doesn't want companions, he doesn't want to be touched, he's a ball of rage and desperation.

Sugimoto will never reach this level of bitterness, rage or desperation. Although he becomes more murder prone he never deliberately sacrifices innocents for his goal, he remains friendly and when he keeps other away is to protect them.

Again this is not about who of the two is better.

As main characters they're both awesome and they both will make you suffer a lot for them... but in very different ways.

So, long story short, I think both Miura and Noda did an awesome work with their masterpieces but that "Berserk" and "Golden Kamuy" are ultimately very different and wouldn't do justice to neither to compare them.

To who has gotten curious about it, "Berserk" is one of the manga I find is a MUST READ, however it comes with some warning as not only it's a seinen, therefore a work for adults, but it's very explicit in showing sex and violence RIGHT FROM THE FIRST PAGE, and that includes scenes of rape, monsters and situations worth of a horror story and other terrible things, so it's definitely not for soft hearted.

The art is beautiful and detailed, albeith dark but this fits with how "Berserk" has often a dark atmosphere (lighter scenes often have lighter art), the characters are well studied and there are strong themes. As said before you can find in it references to Nietzsche and his philosophy which makes for interesting points to ponder.

For me the story started to get really cool around the end of Vol 3, with the beginning of the Golden Age but there's who loved it from the start.

So... hum... sorry, this isn't exactly the analysis you wanted but I still hope it can be of some interest to read it.

Thank you for your ask!

[bakuraryxu]

talking about meds and stuff unsolicited opinions (especially from [redacted] people!!!!) are NOT welcome unless its to tell me how cool i am for doing stuff about my health

like.... its not a magic weight loss drug. its just like.... accelerating everything i already do. watching my diet is still boring but its easier now. i dont feel like im missing out quite so much. its like the obsessive part of my brain doesnt latch onto chocolate and junk food and sweets like it did before where it felt like my throat was cut if i didnt have something yummy right then and there. ive had a block of choccies in the cupboard for a week bc im only eating a few squares every other day because it tastes good. not because i feel like i need it.

exercising is easier too. it used to drain me and leave me more fatigued than usual. i see an exercise physiologist who promised me regular exercise would raise my base level of energy and he was a FUCKING liar. not on purpose or anything, my stupid idiot brain and body just refused to feel anything other than fatigue and trepidation at the thought of working out.

its like the perfect balance between appetite reduction and giving energy. im waking up around 6am and going for walks. its so easy to avoid snacks, a tiny amount of chocolate satisfies me, i havent had any intense cravings ....yet.... and god willing, i wont. its been 6 days and the first couple days i didnt feel anything, just dizzy and lightheaded and cranky. i get to watch the sunrise bc i get up so early. i walk my dog around a busy neighbourhood lake and i socialise with strangers who are also out walking their dogs and its great.

Before my biggest issue was my never-ending appetite. it didnt matter how much i ate, or how well (i see a nutritionist he assured me my nutrition is pretty good), i was constantly hungry. now im not. its not total appetite suppression for me i describe it more like a dampening effect. i get kinda hungry, i go eat a salad or whatever the fuck, and im satisfied for a couple hours. like on god. this is so ALIEN for me. and its great! i still drink coffee but because i like the taste, not because i feel like ill die without the caffeine boost.

this legal speed stuff is insane i totally get why people do meth now like ive thoguht abt it in the past bc the idea of not sleeping for days is so crazy but anyway.

its phentermine not amphetamines but anyway im loving it lmaoooooo like i feel normal. i feel so normal its insane. i can wake up and feel normal and i have energy, not even like. excessive. i just HAVE energy, which i never really had before? the fatigue fucking sucked the life out of me but atm im in a good place like mentally and getting there physically. im sore all over from working out, whcih ive done almost every day this week. im being social. im thriving. im losing weight. hopefully im building lean muscle mass too.

wish i took a before photo. im still extremely overweight but i know im slimming down and i feel great and cute and good looking. to reach a healthy weight i have like. so any kgs to go .... but u know. i dont know how much i believe these ideal weight bmi things, like i just cnanot conceptualise what i would look like if i was that slim??? and i havent weighed that much since i was a child. we’ll see what happens. this week was pretty easy all things considered, i hope i can keep it up.

so far my biggest side effect complaints are cotton mouth and irritability (see gif for example). its not a constant thing but i do think im more aggressive than usual? im ready to start biting people. oh also the insomnia i guess but these three things... could be for any reason. not just the drugs. its impossible to say. im not unfamiliar with dry mouth and trouble sleeping from antidepressants ive taken in the past lol.

[celawrites]

Day 7

Clown: Happy one week of me being annoying!

Clown: I like you

Read at 6:38

WHAT A WAY TO START THE MORNING LMAo. With the normal morning routine, and a cup of coffee, I’m ready to head out. I wonder if anyone wants to carpool today and I opt for texting the class chat.

Clown: yOOOOO

Clown: Anyone wanna carpool to school?

Pebble: It’s 7

Pebble: You’re insane

tiNy: I’ll carpool if someone else does

Spam: I’ll join

Spam: CAn we get slushies again?

Clown: Sure

Clown: Y’all can play on the switch in the backseat or smth

Clown: Alright be there in 5

Read by 2

The drive to their place is calm, much like how waters are before a storm.

“yO! GET IN THE CAR LOSER. WE’RE GOING TO SCHOOL”

“How exciting” they make their way into the backseat.

“Off to get the other?”

“Can we just leave him at home? Like let him be late or something”

“That’s rude. I’ll give him 2 minutes to get out of his house tho”

“That’s fair”

The drive to the other’s house is chaotic. The conversation rallies between school and their new game tournament. When we do arrive, said person is nowhere to be found. Ringing their phone seems like the only good way to get him.

“Danny you have 2 minutes before I kick your ass and leave you here”

“i’M SORRY! I NEED TO FIND MY SCARF”

“It’s in your locker. I saw you shove it in there yesterday after school”

“It is?”

“Ask our valedictorian if you don’t believe me”

“Eh. You’ve gotten better at observing things ever since you started vibing with our valedictorian. I trust you”

“Alright now get out here. You have 30 seconds”

A crash, slide, and panting could be heard on the other side of the line. It was funny messing with him like that.

“i’M HERE”

“Welcome aboard shortie”

“I hate that even after my growth spurt you still won’t let me live the nickname down”

“Eh. Your problem for getting the short end of the stick”

“So��”

“Slushies, Coffee, or Boba?”

“Can we get Chick Fil A?”

“Is it open?”

“It opens at 6:30am in the morning”

“If the drive-through is empty enough, we can get Chick Fil A for breakfast”

“I LOVE YOUUUU. MARRY ME CRESSIE”

“You’re disgusting. That’s why I never hang around our valedictorian when you’re there”

“I’ve been hurt on more levels than one”

“Ok but you are extremely obnoxious” the friend.

“Sam shut up”

Well there goes 3 names. Might as well throw the rest of them out there-

“I can literally hear you narrating right now. Please stop.” -Sam

“As much as we love you Cressie, I do not want to go through you narrating. We know as a matter of fact that we told you to leave that behind in middle school”

“So mean” I pout. “aNYWAYS. So. Have any early college admission letters arrived?”

“Nope.”

“Oh I got one from Chapman but I don’t think I wanna go there anymore”

“You still waiting out for Yale or something?”

“Kind of”

“Good luck with that one then. But I mean that one summer camp you joined should be bonus points?”

“Yeah. I just hope it works out”

“I’m sure it’ll work out”

“chICK FIL A PLEASE”

“I thought you forgot hiss”

“Never. The drive through’s basically empty. Please?”

“What do you guys want.”

“Can I get chicken minis”

“I’ll take some hashbrowns”

“Good morning and Welcome to Chick Fil A how may I help you?”

“Good morning. Can I get Chicken Minis, hashbrowns and a chicken egg and cheese bagel?”

“Anything to drink?”

“oOH CAN WE GET COLA?”

“I want a Mango Passion Tea Lemonade”

“A cola, a sweet tea, and two mango passion tea lemonades please”

“Alright! Your total will be $15.59.”

“Alright thank you!”

“Who’s the sweet tea for?”

“Guess”

“Pebble?”

“Nope. It’s for our valedictorian who I’ve been annoying for a week”

“So you wrote the letter?”

“Pfft. It’s probably from an underclassman. You know how persistent some of them are”

“A freshman?”

“Idk. Does he not know who?”

“He won’t tell me”

I pulled my card out and handed it to the employee.

“Makes sense not to. I mean. You did spill to the whole school about his crush in middle school”

“I STOPPED DOING THAT ALREADY”

“That’s a lie. He just stopped telling you about his secrets”

“I’m hurt”

“Your card miss”

“Thank you”

“She’s only the rich one because she lacks a parental figure in her life”

“I did nOT offer to pay to get insulted by you all”

“Sorry”

After getting their food, the ride became quite. They were busy munching on their breakfast.

“Oh look we’re here!”

“And we’re 5 minutes early”

“I never get how your driving schedule works”

“I don’t know either.”

“Can I go with you for a 3am run sometime?”

“And see me flirt with the cute McDonalds employee? If you want. The offer’s up for tonight. If you want to get a decent rest, sleep at 6 and expect a text at 3”

“hUH? Sure!”

“You’re really going to do that huh?”

“No one’s stopping me.”

The three of us headed in. It was funny. Ironic even, that I’ve carpooled with everyone except him.

“You’re late today” he’s salty.

“I went for Chick Fil A with the other two” I huffed.

“I figured.”

“Do you want your tea or not”

“You got me something?”

“To get you in trouble with our english teacher yeah”

“I knew you didn’t mean any good with your gestures”

“Awww. Is liking you not a reasonable excuse?”

“Ha. Funny”

“Meanie!”

The day passes like the love for a crush. Fleeting, quick, and violently. The hammering in your chest is quick, harsh, a constant reminder of who that person is to you. The school day resembles that to me. It’s violent, the constant reminder that if you want to go to the college of your choice, you can’t start slacking. Your grades can’t drop, especially in a private school where all eyes are on you. I may not be the valedictorian, but I am the girl with no family by my side. One drop, one falter, and everyone is suddenly talking about you.

The drive home is relieving. It’s like being hit with the ac at home when you return, or maybe more of a getting ice cream during summer vibe? Not too sure. But when I get home, there’s a feeling of relief. The feeling of finally I’m not within the proximity of him. But today is a 3am run, and quite frankly, I’m not excited.

6pm comes quicker than usual, and I’m going to bed again. 3am comes, and my alarm is ringing in my ear. I drag myself out of bed today. Tonight? This early morning? This late evening? I don’t even know anymore. So then I opt for texting 2 people tonight.

Clown: 3am snacks?

Sleep.

This is why you aren’t growing

Clown: You’re boring

Clown: I’ll find someone else then

Seen at 3:03

Knowing well that he wouldn’t respond, I text the friend from earlier.

Clown: yO SAM

Spam: How long

Clown: Gimme 10 minutes.

Spam: Alrighty

The drive to his house is silent. The songs on my phone are playing softly and I’m humming along. When I do get to his house though, he slips in next to me and he grins. It isn’t until we’re on the freeway to the McDonalds close by that he starts talking.

“Do you usually stay quiet at night?”

“Sometimes. Other times I’m violently switching songs.”

There was a soft silence.

“You definitely know something about who confessed to our valedictorian. He tells you everything”

“Does he? We don’t have 3am emotionally vulnerable chats or anything. He only tells me things about school. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I could break down the wall he has”

“You’re getting off-topic. What do you know about the culprit?”

“Mm? I don’t know who it is. Why are you so persistent in knowing?”

“He. I feel like getting him a girlfriend will let him loosen up”

“In Senior year?”

“Yeah.”

“His grades can’t drop. And we know how our class does when it comes to relationships.”

“I still have a feeling he can pull through”

“Perhaps. What do you want?”

“Can I get fries?”

“Sure”

“Good morning darling~”

“Morning!”

“What can I get for you today?”

“Two large fries. And an M&M Mcflurry please!”

“Do you have a friend with you?”

“Yep!”

“Omg is it the hot dude you’re pining after”

“lNFJDSK wHIch ONE”

“wHCIH ONE?” the two were in sync.

“Lmao darling i’ll give you a discount.”

“I loVE YOU TOO”

“I LOVE YOU MORE”

“NO I DO”

This goes back and forth for another couple seconds before I drive up to the window.

“OOoo. Is he gay?”

“I’m right here”

“I’m straight.”

“Ah yikes. Wish me luck on my quest for boyfriends then darling”

“Good luck.”

The night passes in silence. Other than the occasional conversation with Sam, it isn’t much different than the usual. At some point, he passes out due to exhaustion, and I start working on my new piece.

Previous : Masterlist : Next

[goldenkamuyhunting]

I would like to know your theories for Ogata we know that he represses his guilt and all his human feelings, I think that repressing allows him to cope because if he stops repressing he will have to face everything he has done, do you think Ogata will face his guilt and reconnect with his human side? If that happens I can't imagine his reaction, because when you realize you've done such horrible things you can sometimes stop trying to survive, do you think Ogata will be able to overcome this ?

Well...

I would say for sure Ogata represses his guilt as this seems to be the whole point of his Yuusaku hallucinations and nightmares and overall a central thematic in his character due to what happened in chap 165.

Repression is, after all, nothing else but a defence mechanism that ensures that what is unacceptable to the conscious mind, and would, if recalled, generate anxiety or pain or other unpleasant emotion, will remain in the unconscious so of course Ogata has to repress guilt. Even the fact Yuusaku’s face isn’t clearly visible is, in itself, a hint of how he tries not to ‘see him’ even in his memories/hallucination.

Of course I wouldn’t say Ogata represses all his emotions. We see him angry or annoyed or worried or proud of himself but with human feelings I think you mean the noble feelings like guilt, love, caring, empathy and so on, right?

Now... I wouldn’t put it on the moral perspective.

I think Ogata started repressing guilt from when he killed his mother but likely he didn’t repress his guilt because he felt he had done an amoral thing, but because he actually loved the woman and missed her and regretted killing her for basically nothing as his father didn’t came back to her. In a way the fact he loved her and yet he killed her can also be what has stunned his ability to form emotional connection. The bond between a mother and a child is a big thing and yet due to her insanity his mother rejected it and he ended up severed it. And the bond between him and his father never got a chance to form itself as the man rejected him and again Ogata had to severe that bond.

It’s no real surprise he’s not prone to form emotional bonds after the two most important bonds in his life ended with rejection and death.

There’s also to say at the time in which Ogata lived insane people more often than not lived with the family who would them provide to keep them jailed somewhere in a basement or in a room in the house, or that would conveniently lose them up on some wild mountain (basically they would take them there and abandon them there to die).

In short discreetly dispose of someone insane wasn’t viewed as ‘amoral’ and it’s meaningful once Hanazawa learnt Ogata killed his insane mother he doesn’t condemn it for that, even though it would have been very convenient for him.

The whole thing coped with the military brainwashing he underwent later, likely affected his ability to emotionally connect with the people he killed... until he met Yuusaku who somehow managed to get under his skin a little since Ogata keeps on being haunted by him.

But again accepting this would mean accepting the guilt he felt for his mother’s death so Yuusaku is sacrificed on the same altar that’s supposed to lead him to have his father ‘come back home’... only for him to discover later on it was all for nothing and the man had never cared about his mother or him.

Yuusaku in a way is the wall and the bridge between himself and the guilt for his mother’s death.

And then Asirpa shows up and Asirpa is a mix of his mother and Yuusaku.

It’s easy to see her approach with Ogata is the one of a mother figure, she does what his mother didn’t do, accept the birds he hunt and cook them, she feeds him (and the others) like children but, at the same time, she also love a man who loves another woman like how her mother loved a married man.

At the same time Asirpa shares traits with Yuusaku, she refuses to kill, she’s the daughter of a ‘soldier’ who plan to use her in his war as some sort of idol to lead men.

And it’s interesting Ogata gives her a chance to destroy him, telling her to kill him. She would be the mother who destroys the child she has generated, the brother that proves him everyone is capable to kill without regret.

But she’s also someone he’s not capable to kill.

On the ice field he points his rifle at her and just... stalls. If he had wanted to kill her all he had to do was to push the trigger and she would have died before Sugimoto had the time to scream.

And then there are two circumstances once he’s back in Hokkaido in which he thinks it would be convenient to kill her and... can’t.

After Noda built all this I would expect him to resolve this situation by forcing Ogata to face Yuusaku, accept he can’t kill Asirpa and that all this is tied to him also feeling guilt for what he has done to the people he loved, for having lost them, for having been unable to save his mother and bring his father home.

How will Ogata cope with this?

Well, Ogata knows he has done something ‘wrong’, what he has repressed isn’t what he has done, but the feeling attached to it.

He hadn’t made an excuse for his action, he just had a reason for them.

So accepting his guilt it’s kind of different from people suddently realizing they did something bad (like suddently discovering you’ve killed your beloved mother) and it might not affect how he perceives all his kills as I don’t think guilt will abruptly fall on him for all he did.

I’m more expecting him to feel guilty for the people he actually had an emotional connection with, as small as it could have been.

In itself Ogata has already shown borderline suicidal tendencies in the sense he didn’t kill himself but took unnecessary deadly risk as if completely okay with betting his own life even when unneeded and losing said bet, as if living and dying amounted to more or less the same.

We see it when he exposes himself to Tanigaki in chap 5, or when he plays bait with Vasily in chap 17, but even better when he tells Asirpa to kill him or when, instead than flattening himself against the horse, he raises himself and stretches his arms offering a better target to Sugimoto.

In this he’s a bit similar to Sekiya, who didn’t kill himself but wanted to be killed by God or Nihei who wanted to die fighting in the wilderness or Henmi who also wanted to die fighting for his life.

Ogata seems to want to die in action, challenging his enemies.

Would cope with his guilt make him even more suicidal?

It’s hard to say.

Many expect this to hit him hard when it’ll happen, possibly with him breaking down and cry but it can also come as a slow realization... though with the series being about to end I’m not sure how much time he has for this... but Noda might aim at planting the ember of a realization, not go for a full understanding complete with intensive coping and, possibly, healing.

Overall I see the idea Ogata might face his guilt and that Ogata might meet his own death as two separate problems.

I don’t think facing his guilt will make him more suicidal but he might decide to get involved in a basically suicidal mission to avoid having something else to feel guilty about... if it makes sense.

Basically if you realize that something makes you feel guilty and feeling guilty is something painful and you can’t repress that feeling you might find another way to fight it... whcih might be too risky for you to survive to it but it’s not seeking death, it’s just trying not to do something you’ll regret.

Now... I personally would prefer if Ogata were not to be conveniently killed in a heroic act like in many redemption storylines but live, learn to cope with his feelings and his actions and make up for what he has done but that’s just me.

I prefer people to start working improving the world than them being merely put out of it.

Anyway to sum it up...

1) do you think Ogata will face his guilt and reconnect with his human side?

I think for sure he’ll have to face his guilt, which means to connect with his ‘human side’. No idea how long that connection will last though and how deep it will be. It can be just him acknowledging he was wrong in his belief and that he actually regret what he did. It might be him still trying to reject this notion as it’s painful. It might be him managing to improve positively from this realization.

So far Noda didn’t go for complete heel turn but for slow changing so if Noda were to have him take a more positive approach to life we probably won’t see it unless there’s a flash forward.

2) do you think Ogata will be able to overcome this ?

I don’t think he’ll kill himself out of this relization but he might take a decision that might bring him to meet his death out of it as a consequence.

We’ll see though. Noda poured a lot of care on him. Of course it’s possible he’ll ruin him at the last moment, it can happen, but I still hope he’ll handle Ogata well. It’s too early to tell though as we’ve only scratched the surface of who Ogata is and what he wants.

We’ll need more info to judge.

Thank you for your ask!